#Tw violation of consent

[djsherriff-responses]

I’m attempting an actual set up/timeline of sorts for Captain Laserhen and wanted to share what I’ve written down so far

I appreciate opinions and criticism if you’re comfortable reading about an au involving themes of Eugenics, unethical practices that go against people’s bodily autonomy and consent , male pregnancy, abuse and general fears regarding pregnancy, parenthood and how that can change someone

You see Eden, the big fans of eugenics that they are , don’t feel it’s enough to simply scan through their civilian population and hunt down those with “worthy” genetics for their various military programs: They want a way to manufacture super soldiers personally

Cloning seems like an obvious choice and cloning technology is something they have access to. But it takes so many resources just to create and maintain one clone through its development , never mind all the mutations and amount of failures that could happen during the cloning process, and then there’s the issue of this information getting out to the press and the controversy it’d cause

But most importantly, clones are essentially dolls with a conscious, and dolls don’t have any loyalty to their owners. Sure Eden is a master at brain washing and almost perfected the art of manipulating people. But Eden already has defectors and traitors despite their best efforts to maintain control of their own civilians , who’s to say what chaos would happen if mass produced clones became part of the equation?

No , it best to keep cloning to a strict minimum of a select few. A few rogue clones is much easier to deal with then an entire trained army of rogue clones

Eden realised it’s not enough to raise children to wield guns , their soldiers need a reason to remain loyal to Eden despite the horrors and abuse, a connection to keep them tied to the system even when doubt eats at them in the dead of night

And what greater ties is there than that of blood: A family

So Eden gave their male super soldiers a sort of “retirement protocol” where they essentially have an artificial womb (don’t ask me the specifics of this it’s sci fi horror nonsense) so that when those super soldiers (ideally) aged out of the military, they’d get pregnant and pop out a replacement to take their place

Or if a super soldier chose to become a traitorous terrorist, Eden will have leverage to bring them back into their arms

(Dolph in this au is cis and while the Eden army is dominantly cis, there’s likely issues a trans or genderqueer character would face from this situation that simply has not crossed my cis brain, just wanted to add this tidbit here since the set up is primarily focused on cis men going through this unethical treatment)

The specific reasons why this was done to male soldiers:

Women already have wombs and the capability to produce children, so it’d be pointless all things considered

There’s a larger amount of men in the army compared to women, so obviously Eden has gotta put their resources on getting *the men pregnant* replacements for those men ready

Men who are amab aren’t expected to ever fall pregnant and thus aren’t prepared for the turmoil and stress that comes with pregnancy the ways which women are. The men would be in a vulnerable position and would seek out help by any means necessary , plus be much easier to manipulate (either through use of their new found motherly instincts or their desire to be rid of this unexpected baby)

Most importantly,men do not have the means to have a natural birth. This is the most crucial part as the way Eden has done it, the men will have no choice but to seek medical attention to have a c section when the baby is due and thus even if that man does not want to return to Eden, Eden will still have the means to find him anyways

“But what about the press/public learning about this?!” Oh Eden already has an answer to that: Male pregnancies are a result of a strange effect of dimension X leaking into our universe and biologically impacting Eden’s male population(which is all the more reason it’s important to keep alien scum out!)

Basically, Eden blames the aliens. Because a vulnerable pregnant man is going to be far more willing to crawl back into the system that abused him if he believes aliens are the ones making him go through the horrific process of an unnatural pregnancy, instead of the truth that Eden has purposely done unethical practices on his body to keep him on a leash 

And Dolph is one of those men that Eden unethically gave with the ability to have babies, all without his knowledge or consent, yay!

Side note, normal children are 50:50 when it comes to inheriting their parents’ genetics. But super soldier babies actually take about 75 to 85% after their “mother” (again, Eden being huge fans of eugenics and not wanting to lose such valuable genes) so any children Dolph has, regardless of the other parent, will always take more after him

The timeline of this au diverges from the canon plot as of episode two , before Dolph walks in on Alex sleeping with Pagan (so anything that happened after that doesn’t happen, most notably Jade does not die). Instead of seeing the cigarette and finding his cheating boyfriend, the smell of the smoke makes Dolph vomit and team ghost are forced to abort mission. Though technically it’s been divergent from canon before episode one even happens

[aurenflare]

i have a friend who's on a gap year and pays for chatgpt premium or wtv and it's like. girl genuinely what is the point. if you're a student i at least understand why you're doing it?? i personally am vv against using ai for academic purposes (or like. anything) but at least i can understand on some level what your reason is for doing it. but like. you're not in school. your job doesn't require chatgpt in ANY capacity. pls

[agalychnisspranneusroseus]

You can't tell me Marcy wouldn't have ptsd after Darcy

[stxriesfromasharchive]

hi, i haven't watched the twilight series in a long time but one scene that sticks out very clearly in my head is when Edward confronts Jacob for kissing Bella and he's pissed but not just for kissing her but for kissing her without her consent and even warns Jacob to WAIT for Bella to 'say the words' to which Jacob cockily assures him that 'she will' -

like Edward wasn't even mad that Jacob kissed his girlfriend, he was pissed that he assaulted her.

I have never really cared about Team Jacob or Team Edward but this one scene that lives in my head rent free is why I am not a Jacob/Bella shipper and if I were to write Bella, I would not write this ship, thanks.

[all-i-do-is-try1]

I think enough time has passed where I can confidently say forced treatment was more traumatic and harmful (for me) than being SA by someone I trusted. The self hatred and disgust is still on another level after being forced to gain and overshoot. I still have flashbacks from treatment and the sight or smell of foods I was forced to eat will make me breakdown. I really hope that changes but it’s been 3 years now.

* I’m only talking about my own experience. There’s still some good programs, especially smaller private clinics. I had such a difficult time bc it was forced and my only coping mechanism.

If you are mentally ready to recover and want to, you’re experience will likely be different

[womensrightsstegosaurus]

"Don't worry, in the event that you are unconscious or otherwise not lucid we will consult people who don't even listen to you when you're awake. We trust them to act in your best interests because deviating from standard procedure is far more uncomfortable for us than relying on ghosts from your past is uncomfortable for you :)"

absolutely incredible to me that "in the event of your inability to consent, your autonomy and rights will be entrusted to your closest living relative or parental guardian" is a pillar of widely accepted legislation upholding almost every society across the modern world and not like. the premise of some work of speculative horror fiction.

[fucktoyfelix]

This is actually a useful thing to understand how to spell out. What exactly is wrong with puritanical attitudes towards sexuality? TW: Discusses body image issues, suicide, STIs, sexual assault etc

1. It fosters fear, disgust and loathing of our bodies. By hiding the human body as soon as we are born, and treating it as an object of inherent shame: THAT creates trauma. Shame is one of the primary sources of trauma, its the fuel and lets trauma burn. Those raised in nudist societies, and children raised in households where nudity is treated in a neutral and non-sexual tend to have a much more positive relationship with their bodies as adults. This makes complete sense when you think about it. Going through puberty not knowing if your body is "normal" terrifies children in ways that stick with them for life. In fact, most cultures outside of the Unites States aren't as strange about non-sexual nudity actually...and are healthier for it. We can't have body positivity as long as we are literally criminalized for having an uncovered body. 2. It creates fear, shame and disgust about sex. Most people have sex at some point in their lives. No one would be here at all without it. Most people have sexual desires which lie outside their control. When people are ashamed of those desires, it leads to self hatred, and depression and anxiety. This shame is just as traumatic as bodily shame. When sex is normalized, and treated with the same candor as any other hobby: it becomes less apt to traumatize people.

3. Puritanical attitudes towards sex limit sex education. When people are too ashamed to talk about sex, people don't learn about pregnancy, stis, or consent. All of these things can and do kill people when they aren't addressed with an open dialogue.

Sexual shame leads to people too ashamed to buy condoms, to talk to their doctor about birth control, to ask their partner to use protection, to get tested...the negative health impacts of sexual puritanism have a massive negative effect on society.

4. Sexual shame leads to poorer communication in relationships. Ohh if I had a dime for every person i knew who ruined their relationship because they felt too guilty to talk to their partner about their sexual feelings...Not just that, but the general body shame that comes with puritanism blocks people from connecting to one another too. Have you ever avoided getting close to someone because you were ashamed of your body? If not, I guarantee you know someone who has.

5. Misogyny! Puritanical sexual believes hold that women are not capable of sexual agency. That only men should initiate sex. That women should only ever want babies and not pleasure from sex. All of this rolls right into the next one:

6. Victim blaming in sexual assault. When women are the gatekeepers of sex, its easy to blame them when they 'fail' to protect their chastity when someone violates their trust. This isn't something that just effects women: as the same attitudes hold that men are not capable of experiencing sexual assault. The lack of education and discussion about sex in a sex-negative world inherently prevent the open dialogues necessary for creating and maintaining consent culture.

7. Suppression and marginalization of the queer community. If we're too ashamed to talk about sex, we'll be too ashamed to talk about sexuality. Puritans can't accept any deviation from gender norms either. Anything other than sex between a cis man and a cis woman for the purpose of making a baby is a deviant kink, a mental illness, and needs to be wiped out. Its important to point out that many queer people hold puritanical values about sex: believing that they can achieve sex negativity and queer liberation at the same time. However, sex negative movements always rise with censorship and discrimination of queer people...because queer people are inherently considered deviant by the vast majority of sex negative "allies". It's very dangerous to forget this.

8. Censorship of art. Who decides what is sexual and what is not? Its easy to agree that sex needs to be hidden...but it never takes long before the definition of what is "sexual" expands. Even women's breasts are considered sexual in the United States. Its so normal for Americans to think of them that way that women can't feed their children in public. Drag queens face violence for reading at libraries. Books get taken off the shelves. Artists are bullied offline.

9. Censorship of scientific exploration. Scientific research into reproductive health, sexual behavior, gender identity and more are often hindered due to the "moral objections" of puritans, delaying progress and understanding. That's just off the top of my head. I think its time for people to take how problematic 'puritanism' is more seriously. As we see fascism rear its ugly head all over the world, we're going to see a lot more talk about 'degenerates'...and we know where that kind of talk leads.

[starstrike]

Mithrun's desire as an SA analogue

TW discussion of SA and detailed breakdown of aesthetics evoking SA. The way I discuss this is vivid in a way that may be triggering, though there is no discussion of actual sexual assault. Just survivor's responses to it.

People relate to Mithrun and see his condition as an analogue for a few different things, like brain injury or depression. And I think all of them are there. But I also see Mithrun's story as an SA analogue, and Ryoko Kui intentionally evokes those aesthetics. I think it's a part of Mithrun's character that a lot of people miss, but I very much consider it text. This is partially inspired by @heird99's post on what makes this scene so disturbing; so check out their post, too :)

So to start off with, the demon invades Mithrun's bed, specifically. There's even a canopy around it, which specifically evokes this idea of personal intrusion; the barrier is being pulled apart without consent or warning. The way the hand reaches towards Mithrun's body from outside of the panel division makes it almost look like the goat stroking over his body. It's an especially creepy visual detail; similarly, the goat's right hand parts into the side of the panel as well. It's literally like it's tearing the page apart; but gently. So gently.

Mithrun is in bed. It is his bed that the demon is intruding on. He's in a position of intimacy. The woman behind him is a facsimile of his "beloved" that he left behind; the woman who, in reality, chose Mithrun's brother. He is in bed with his fantasy lover, who is leaning over him. While this scene isn't explicitly sexual, it is intimate. And it is being invaded. The goat lifts Mithrun gently, who is confused, but not yet struggling.

The erotics of consumption and violence in Ryoko Kui's work(remember that the word 'erotic' can have many different meanings, please) are a... notable part of some of her illustrations. I would say she blurs the lines between all forms of desire: personal, sexual, gustatory and carnal, in her illustrations in order to emphasize the pure desire she wants to work with and evoke to serve her themes. Kui deploys sexual imagery in a lot of places in Dungeon Meshi, and this is one of them.

In this case, horrifically. The goat's assault begins with drooling, licking, and nuzzling. The goat could be enjoying and "playing with" its food. But it can also be interpreted as it "preparing" Mithrun with its tongue as it begins to literally breach Mithrun's body. The goat also invades directly through his clothing; that adds another level of disturbing to me. There's nothing Mithrun can do in this moment of violation. Mithrun is fighting, but he is fighting weakly, trying to grip on and push away when he has no ability or option to. All he can do is beg the goat to stop. And it doesn't care. This all evokes sexual assault.

The sixth panel demonstrates a somewhat sexual position, with Mithrun's thighs spread around the goat's hunched over body. In the next, the goat pulls and holds apart Mithrun's thighs as he nuzzles into him. The way the clothing bunches up looks a bit as if it has been pushed up. It has pinned Mithrun down onto the bed, into Mithrun's soft furs and pillows. It takes a place made to be supernaturally warm and comfortable, and violates it. It's utterly and intimately horrifying. To me, this sequence of positions directly evokes a rape scene. I think Kui did this very explicitly. These references to sexual invasion are part of what makes this scene so disturbing; albeit, to many viewers, subconsciously.

This is also the moment the goat takes Mithrun's eye. Other than this, the goat seems exceptionally strong, but also... gentle. It holds Mithrun's body tightly, but moves it around slowly. It doesn't need to hurt Mithrun physically. But in that moment, it takes Mithrun's eye. Blood seeps from a wound while an orifice that should not be pierced is penetrated. This moment, the ooze of blood in one place specifically, also evokes rape. That single bit of physical gore is a very powerful bit of imagery to me.

Finally; it is Mithrun's desire that is eaten. After his assault, Mithrun can find no pleasure in things that he once did. He is fully disassociated from his emotions. This is a common response to trauma, especially in the case of SA. It's not uncommon for people to never, or take a long time to, enjoy sex in the same way again; or at all. They might feel like their rapist has robbed them of a desire and pleasure they once had. I think this makes Mithrun's lack of desire a partial analogue for the trauma of sexual assault.

Mithrun's desire for revenge was, supposedly, all that remained. Anger at his assaulter, anger at every being that was like it; though, perhaps not anger. Devotion, in a way. To his cause. I don't know. But the immediate desire to seek revenge is another response to SA. But on to Mithrun's true feelings on the matter.

This is... So incredibly tragic. Mithrun feels used up. Like his best parts have been taken away. Like he's being... tossed aside. This certainly parallels the way assault victims can feel after being left by an abuser. Or the way assault victims feel they might be "ruined" forever for other partners. These are common sentiments for survivors to carry, and need to overcome. In the text, it's almost like Mithrun feels the only being who can desire him is a demon who might "finish devouring" him. That that's his only use. It's worth noting that Mithrun trusted the demon. Mithrun's world was built by the demon, and Mithrun, in that way, was cared for by the demon. I think this reinforces Mithrun's place as a victim.

There's also something to be said about Mithrun as a victim of his own possessive romantic and sexual desire. The mirror shows him his beloved just dining with his brother, and it infuriates him. He doesn't know if the vision is real, nor if she has really chosen his brother as a romantic partner. The goat then creates a whole fantasy world where she loves him. As Mithrun's dungeon deteriorates, she is the only person that continues to exist. Mithrun continues to have control over her. And that is the strongest desire the demon is eating, isn't it? There's something interesting there, but I don't know what to say about it.

In conclusion, I think Mithrun's story is an explicit analogue for sexual assault-- though, certainly, among other things! The way the scene plays out and is composed explicitly references sexual violation and invasion of the body. His condition mirrors common trauma responses to sexual violence. And, at the end, he finally realizes he can recover.

Let's end on a happy Mithrun, after taking the first step on his journey to recovery :) You aren't vegetable scraps Mithrun. But even if you were-- every single thing in this world has value. Even vegetable scraps.

[citrus-library]

𝐁𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 ☁︎︎༅

➜ Dark!Yelena Belova x Fem!Reader [Blurb]

TW: Breeding strap-on, breeding kink, degradation, mild dubious consent, mild degradation/humiliation, praise, brief nipple play.

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. 18+ ONLY.

✵ ❧𖦹☙ ✵

Strong hands pinned your shoulders down on the bed, the scent of vanilla invading your nostrils. Heavy pants fanned over your cheek with every thrust Yelena gave you; pornographic wet sounds echoed throughout the bedroom.

“Yelena— Yelena, slow down—” you tried to protest, looking up at her with wide, pleading eyes that begged for mercy. But of course, you found none.

A smirk tilted her lips from above you, and for just a brief moment she paused, her strap still buried deep into your cunt. “You want me to slow down, princess? That’s not what your pussy says. In fact,” Yelena paused, moving a hand away from your shoulder to part your slick folds.

Your cheeks flushed as she stuck her finger in between your folds with a careless swipe, before pulling it out and showing it to you with a cruel grin. A string of wetness connected Yelena’s fingertip to your desperate hole until she broke it.

“You’re drenched, love.” Without warning, the digit was pushed past your parted lips, your own juices violating your taste buds. Yelena resumed fucking you, every thrust of her strap-on hitting your sweet spot.

And when Yelena withdrew her fingers from her mouth to rub small circles on your swollen clit, a low moan escaped you against your will. “Yelena, please, I’m gonna cum,” you warned her with a broken voice, your hips chasing hers.

“Oh, you’re going to cum? You’ll cum like a dumb girl all over my cock?” Yelena mocked, the hand that wasn’t toying with your clit moving away from your shoulder to rest on your throat. It wasn’t enough to cause any pressure, but enough to warn you of your place. “I’m going to fill you up so good, baby.”

Pride had left you the moment you felt your peak starting to creep up, a coil in your stomach beginning to tighten. “Yes, yes I am, I’m gonna cum for you,” you whined, your walls clenching down on Yelena’s strap.

With one final thrust, Yelena’s cock hit your sensitive spot once again, spurting hot white ropes inside of you. Her guttural groans fanned against the shell of your ear as you let go, your release mixing with the cum slowly leaking out of you.

“My good breeding bitch,” Yelena crooned, pulling out of you and rolling over next to you, her arms wrapping around your waist and pulling you close, your front against hers.

Soft lips met your own and you found yourself melting into it, the sensation of her tongue in your mouth with her cum dripping out of you almost too much to handle. Pebbles nipples brushed with your own.

“Sleep, baby. I’ll take care of you,” Yelena murmured, your eyes starting to droop as her head rested in the crook of your neck.

You could have swore you felt the tip of her strap began to tease your used hole, but exhaustion took over before you could protest.

[heliza24]

Consent and Abuse in The Vampire Chronicles (and how it explains things like Daniel and Louis's disappearances)

TW: discussions of abuse, sexual abuse and rape, and CSA throughout this meta.

I’ve now read the first six Vampire Chronicles books, and I want to talk about the role that consent, or more importantly, the lack thereof, plays in the morality the books espouse. When I was a few books in, I discovered this post by @diasdelasombra, which uses excerpts from several scholarly texts to create a schema that helps us understand who Anne Rice considered a “worthy” victim of abuse. To summarize, the characters that Anne favors and who are featured in the narrative were violated against their will, but don’t whine about their misfortune. Instead they extend grace and forgiveness to their abuser. (Think of David or Lestat) The characters who are portrayed as conniving, wicked, or who are punished by the narrative are those who don’t adequately protest their assault, or who harbor anger or plans of revenge towards their abuser (think of Claudia).

When I say abuse here, I am specifically talking about sexual abuse and rape, but also being turned into a vampire against your will. Being bitten by a vampire is obviously sexually coded, and being transformed into a fledgling vampire nonconsensually is a metaphor for a rape. So I’m going to spend this meta talking about nonconsensual turnings interchangeably with rape.

When I read about the dichotomy of victimhood detailed in the original post, the books suddenly shifted in my mind, and I felt like I understood Anne as a writer for the first time. I love these books and their resulting adaptations, but I do believe that Anne had many flawed beliefs, and this insistence that the only proper response to assault is complete and total forgiveness of the perpetrator is certainly one of them. I want to take the theory put forward by the original post one step further, and propose that in addition to imperfect victims, Anne also struggled to write about characters that engaged in sex/vampirism consensually. This feels very Catholic to me; you’re allowed to enjoy sex, but only if you didn’t ask for it. It’s the lust and the longing that’s sinful. It’s this discomfort with consensual desire, along with the insistence that victims must forgive their abusers, that is at the heart of many of the most frustrating aspects of the Vampire Chronicles. It also drives some of the conflict I see in the fandom, and has the potential to impact the TV adaptation in interesting ways. I talk about all of that in detail below the cut:

We can see this central belief about abuse and worthy victims easily in the characters Anne chooses to feature. Lestat, David, and Marius were all turned against their will, but crucially do not linger, protest, or whine once the act is done. Lestat is incapable of holding any kind of grudge, Marius approaches vampirism and eternity with calm stoicism, and David immediately forgives Lestat for turning him against his will.

I think this is key when we try to understand why Anne wanted to replace Louis with David as a companion for Lestat. Louis’s turning is complicated; you get the sense that he did consent to it, even as he tells Daniel that he “can’t say that [he] decided” to become a vampire. And even though he does forgive Lestat at the end of IwtV, the telling of the story in that book is filled with resentment and anger. Louis is not a perfect bastion of forgiveness by any means. Anne talked about how she wanted to move on from the grief that Louis represented and also the passivity he embodies as a character (which she classifies as uniquely feminine, which adds another dimension of meaning to who is allowed to consent to sexual acts and remain angry at abuse) but I also have to assume that she wanted to move on from his anger. Which is actually a huge disservice to Louis, Lestat, and the complexity of the narrative.

The other characters who are turned consensually are all abandoned by the narrative. Madeleine is killed, Gabrielle largely disappears after TVL, Nicki kills himself, and Daniel goes mad and is then simply forgotten.

My love of Daniel is the reason why I started stringing this theory together. Daniel is the most clear-cut case in the entire chronicles of a consenting adult who deeply desires to become a vampire. He has no reservations, no resistance. The Devil’s Minion chapter is unique in that it lingers on Daniel's love and desire. Daniel is briefly allowed to want something unabashedly that is also coded as sinful and evil. And once the consummation of his desire happens, Anne simply doesn’t know how to continue to writing him. Armand’s insistence that fledglings will come to hate their makers seems in some ways to be a result of Anne’s worldview, that desire cannot cannot endure unpunished, rather than something Armand would believe in-universe (he never hated Marius, after all). When fans rail at the way Daniel’s story seems to disappear from the page, this is what we are protesting: Daniel’s desire deserved to be shown, Daniel deserved to evolve, and Daniel’s willingness does not require rebuke.

There is of course another interpretation of the Devil’s Minion chapter, which is that it is Armand playing out his and Marius’s relationship, but this time with Armand in control. In some ways I think the Devil’s Minion chapter is the one successful attempt Anne makes to subvert the cycle of abuse. Yes, Armand is re-enacting many of the things done to him, but Daniel is happy to do this role play with him, at least for a while. While far from perfect, their relationship manages to turn abusive history into present day kink, and exist in a context of mutual care.

Armand himself is probably the most interesting edge case in terms of Anne’s dichotomy of worthy and unworthy victims. He asks to be turned into a vampire, but he’s also a child, which makes his ability to consent unclear. (Whether Anne even believed that child sexual abuse was possible at all is up for debate; she wrote a message on her “fan voice mail” that is still transcribed on her website that defends a convicted pedophile and seems to argue that 14 and 15 year olds are effectively adults and therefore cannot be abused. Yikes yikes yikes.) This kind of uncertainty seems to be reflected in the changing way Anne writes Armand throughout the series. He’s evil at first in the same way that Claudia is evil; a conniving forever child who is smart and vicious enough that what was done to him can be justified. But Anne softened on Armand after Queen of the Damned. As the series goes on, Armand comes to resemble Anne’s perfect victim more and more. He forgives Marius relatively quickly, for instance, for turning Benji and Sybelle without his consent.

For Marius (and Lestat) overcoming victim status also means becoming the abuser, the rapist, the perpetrator of the dark trick. The only way to not be trapped under the cycle of abuse is to perpetrate it. Even though it is hidden in a lot of language about love and forgiveness, this theme is ever present in the Chronicles and to me it’s where the true horror of the books lies.

We see these values begin to be applied to world building and the book’s overarching philosophy more and more as the series progresses. Akasha is the big bad in Queen of the Damned because she represents the ultimate lack of forgiveness. She is angry at all the men in the world for their collective abuses (a world view that seems to originate at least partially from the overly protective and restrictive way Enkil treats her, in my opinion) and seeks to kill them. She is an unquestioned evil, in a way that most characters aren’t in The Chronicles. And Maharet and Mekare, who are much more forgiving towards Khayman, one of the perpetrators of their own rape, are the ones able to defeat Akasha. Forgiveness and grace trumps righteous anger every time.

Memnoch the Devil is an interesting book (even if it is not a *good* one, imo) because it spends its pages interrogating this idea of abuse and forgiveness, but blows it up to a theological scale. Memnoch’s main argument with God is that he lets humans suffer needlessly. Memnoch feels that all that is good and holy amongst humans can be found in the way we love each other and find joy in sex, art, food, and celebration. But God requires humans to suffer through disease and death, and sometimes even violence brought about by religion. When Memnoch is put in charge of hell, he makes souls worthy of heaven by working on them until they are ready to forgive God for the suffering they had to endure during life. That’s what makes you worthy of heaven: forgiveness. I find this so interesting because it almost feels like Anne is arguing with herself over philosophy and religion. Memnoch is very convincing and his belief that joy without guilt is good is given due weight by the narrative. In some ways it’s what these books are about- sensual pleasure without guilt. But on the other hand, Memnoch is the devil (if that- Lestat is never quite sure if he’s really the devil or just a malignant spirit) which means we shouldn’t trust what he says. The idea of God as the ultimate abuser— the person who puts humanity through unspeakable horrors on a wide scale, and then requires our forgiveness in order to find peace— really chimes with the way that Anne writes about abuse in the rest of the series. According to this view, the cycle of abuse is absolutely inescapable. It is decreed by the almighty, and the only way to not be completely crushed by it is to accept its omnipresence and embrace its perpetrators without anger.

This focus on forgiveness is clearly a huge part of Anne’s (and therefore the vampires’) worldview, and I of course find that pretty problematic. But I also think it hurts the reader’s ability to connect to the characters and can have the unfortunate side effect of draining the books of the conflict needed to create a propulsive plot. The vampires’ inclination to completely forgive those who have wronged them, and to not linger at all in any feelings of anger, grief, or resentment, sometimes leads to baffling situations where conflicts that loom large in one book are completely forgotten in the next. The most jarring example of this to me is Armand casually playing chess with Santino in Queen of the Damned. Santino! The vampire who kidnapped him, forced him to eat his best friend, and generally tortured him. And they simply never address this. They just start playing a casual game of chess on Night Island after Akasha has been defeated. Situations like this can make character seem like they are acting completely out of character, and it makes it hard to understand their motives. Yes, there’s the in-universe explanation that time heals all wounds and eventually vampires just live long enough that they can’t hold any grudges. But I still think it’s reasonable to assume that Armand would hesitate before casually engaging with Santino again, no matter how long has passed. This kind of automatic forgiveness also means that we skip over so many conflicts that that would be fascinating to read about. If Armand and Santino really do need to reconcile, I want to see what that looks like. I want to see Armand remember Ricardo when he looks at Santino. I want to see what David and Lestat mending their relationship after Lestat’s violation looks like. But we don’t get any of that and instead the vampires move seamlessly on to something else, which is often much less interesting than these interpersonal conflicts that Anne ignores. And because of that, I think this focus on forgiveness creates books that are less fulfilling than they could be.

I think this focus on forgiveness is also at the heart of some of the conflict I see between book readers and show-only fans. I often see book readers talking about how Armand and Louis come back to each other later in the books, that Louis forgives Armand enough to live with him again for a time. And this makes sense in a book universe that prioritizes forgiveness above all else. In fact it actually signifies positive character growth for Louis, as it means he is becoming closer to Anne’s definition of a worthy victim who can forgive those who wronged him.

Fans of the show insist that the TV version of Louis will never forgive Armand, and for all I know they might be right. The TV show has shown that it’s very capable of taking the events and themes that Anne presented and reframing them. The show is already presenting a more critical depiction of CSA, in my opinion, by doing things like eliminating the incest subtext between Louis and Claudia and making it clear that Marius groomed Armand. I also think the show does a better job of keeping emotional stakes consistent. Louis may forgive Armand, but something more substantial than time passing will have to happen to facilitate that in the TV show. So show Louis may indeed never forgive Armand, given those new parameters.

In its efforts to reframe some of Anne’s themes, I believe the television show is shifting the emphasis on forgiveness slightly. Louis’s arc over the first two seasons depends on him reaching a state of forgiveness, not for an abuser, but for himself. He extends grace to Lestat as part of this process, but I really believe that the catharsis comes from Louis embracing his own failings and his own power, and moving forward with confidence. He has not forgotten his anger or the things that were taken from him, but he has the ability to face the rest of eternity now without self-recrimination. I imagine moving forward that this is going to be a major theme of the show. No matter if you sought vampirism out or had it thrust upon you, you must learn to how to deal with its horrors and its perks. You must learn to embrace your own monstrosity and not shrink from it. And you must find a way to accept the love that those around you are willing to offer, whether or not you always perfectly deserve it. I think these are lessons that Lestat, Armand, and even Daniel have yet to learn in the television show. Those character arcs are going to fuel the show through its coming seasons, and I for one cannot wait to see it unfold.

I’m interested to hear from other readers to see if they picked up on these themes, and how they anticipate the show will adapt them. Please tell me your thoughts! And thank you for reading this far.

[schtrawberry]

[4] personal astrology observations

[!] this is mostly an introspective view into my chart; in no way, shape, or form am i saying that any of this is fact or set in stone, nor am i saying that i am a professional astrologer. these are just presences that exist within my chart that i've felt manifest themselves in real life. simply put, take what resonates and leave what doesn't :)

─ having your moon and ascendant in the same sign 🤝🏽 having every single emotion flash on your face, clear as day, at all times

═ sun in the tenth house 🤝🏽 indicator of doing well in your career or being able to advance in your career more easily than others

☰ on that note, mercury in the tenth house can also indicate being able to advance in your career because of the way you speak or how well you speak in a professional setting. individuals with this sign can also be recognized in the workplace for how well they speak and communicate.

☱ individuals with moon in twelth house may find themselves dwelling in the past more than most. the feeling of nostalgic makes them both happy and sad at the same time.

[personally, this manifests itself in me being able to constantly go back to specific moments in my life where i could've made a different choice, where i could've said yes to a specific opportunity, where my split decision could've prevented something monumental in my life from happening, and just overthinking the hell about how different my current situation would be if i did or did not. lots of angst and nostalgia in this sign tbh. it's hard, i know.]

☲ having moon negatively aspecting venus can indicate a late-bloomer in relationships. one might be more likely to find themselves in a serious relationship much later in life compared to others. this may be because the individual could be less likely to pursue romance on their own and would rather be approached first by a potential love interest.

[i can personally attest to this. at the ripe old age of 23, i have never been in a relationship before (or even a fling). from personal experience, i find that this is mostly out of fear of rejection (maybe coupled with my fear of being known but who really knows).]

☴ the taurus juno urge to show love and care through cooking— whether they're good at it or not. be it making their loved one breakfast in the morning, buying them a thoughtful snack or baking them their favorite dessert; a taurus juno is intrinsically tied to food in how they express their dedication and commitment to the one's they love most.

☳ a few asteroid notes:

note: asteroids are less impactful to one's personality, physicality, etc. compared to personal planets. they tend to only be relevant to one's chart if they are either in a tight orb (0-1°) or have major aspects to personal planets, preferably conjunctions or oppositions.

✢ kalliope (22), known as the chief of all muses, goddess of eloquence, and muse of epic poetry is the eldest of the nine muses. her name translates to "beautiful-voiced" from the greek words "kallos" and "ops". having this prominent in one's chart can indicate being known for having a beautiful voice, whether it be in terms of singing, public speaking, or just in general. someone that can attract positive attention from others simply through their voice, even to the point of possibly becoming someone's muse for it.

✢ [tw: r***] peitho (118), the personified spirit of seduction, persuasion, and charming speech, was the handmaiden and herald of the goddess aphrodite. interestingly, one striking depiction of peitho is of her fleeing from the scene of a r***. she was known to protect women from r*** and was known to flee from scenes of r*** when she was unable to intervene. peitho’s gift was pleasure for words and bodies, and she would be enraged when such pleasure was violated in any way.

i feel that this energy, when prominent in one's chart, can manifest itself in a girl's girl— a protector of women and advocate for consent. and while this observation does lean into the darker side of peitho, on the lighter end, this energy does also stand for using one's gift in speech and voice to seduce and charm others whilst also using it to stand up for women in unconsenting situations with men.

[`] film: love & pop (1998) dir. hideaki anno

last / next

[sidemari]

• Object of Obsession •

He would be her downfall, and she knew it.

Character included: Danny Johnson (Ghost Face) x Fem!Reader.

Mari’s notes: This story is still an ‘x reader’ text, but narrated in third person, using ‘she/her’ pronouns instead of ‘you.’ I wanted to try something different and hope you enjoy it. The text is about 2,100 words long.

TW: Aftercare absence, blackmail, CNC (consensual non-consent) themes, creampie, cunnilingus, dub-con, emotional manipulation, impact play (spanking, slapping, hair pulling), light humiliation, overstimulation, photo taking, power imbalance, stalker behavior (home invasion, privacy violation), threats of violence, video recording, weapon mention.

It was a freezing night. A tedious, deceptively harmless night—the kind that kept most people in Roseville locked inside their homes, too scared to go out thanks to the string of serial murders.

She was in her own apartment, but she didn’t feel safe.

Her heart was tight in her chest, like it already knew he could be lurking somewhere nearby. She knew his dirty secret. She knew that beneath the fake persona of a journalist chasing the Ghost Face murders… there was a sick, twisted mind: Danny Johnson.

Months ago, she thought he would kill her the night she had caught him. A night not unlike this one.

Coming home from work, distracted, only to catch sight of the masked killer mercilessly taking the life of his latest victim—a coworker of hers. His mistake had been taking off the mask, thinking no one was watching. Or maybe… sparing her.

Her whole body was tense. So tense she could almost want him to help her with it. They’d spent nights together before, back when she still believed he was just Jed Olsen. Intense nights, filled with whispered confessions and muffled moans. But the terror in her eyes the day she learned who he really was hadn’t lied: she feared him now… and was fascinated by him all the same.

She stared at the mug he’d once gifted her on one of those nights they shared, letting out a deep, tired sigh, fighting the conflicting feelings rising in her chest. She made coffee, choosing that damn mug to drink it from. He’d definitely tease her if he had the chance. “Coffee this late?” He’d say, before pulling her close just to steal a kiss.

She lifted the mug to her lips again but didn’t get another sip. Her entire body froze at the sound of the front door opening… or closing. Silent, she slipped through the dimly lit apartment, moving as far as the tiny space would allow from the noise.

In the bedroom, she held her breath. Locked the door as quietly as possible. Took a few shaky steps back, still staring at the door she’d just locked—with the suffocating certainty that he was already inside the house... looking for her.

That’s when her back hit his chest. “You’re so predictable it hurts,” he murmured, a gloved hand covering her mouth without care, the other gripping her hip. “Danny…” Her voice came out muffled as she struggled to get free, in vain. “Did you miss me?” He teased, lifting the mask just enough to press a kiss against her skin. “Please…” she begged, her voice nothing but a frail thread of resistance against the fabric of his glove. “Gonna fight like the others?” He growled low, pinning his body harder against hers. “Or are you smart enough to just let it happen?”

She didn’t answer. Her pride wouldn’t let her. But when his hand slid from her hip to one of her breasts, squeezing softly through the thin fabric of her shirt—the exact way he knew made her weak… She moaned.

And that was all he needed. It was enough to tell him she wanted it as much as he did. Enough to make her hate herself for giving in again. Enough to make him smile against her skin, knowing she was already his from the second he broke through that door.

Resisting might buy her a few minutes, but she didn't know his intentions.

She didn't know if he just wanted pleasure, one more night... or to drain the life out of her, like he had done with the others.

“Scream and you die,” he muttered against her hair, guiding her hand to feel the blade he kept tucked into a compartment of that bizarre shroud. “Understand?”

She nodded, lungs finally taking in a full breath when he pulled his hand away from her mouth.

Without ceremony, he threw her onto the bed. Grabbed the camera—the same one he used to photograph every victim—and captured her for the first time: flushed face, eyes heavy with fear, her expression a messy blend of dread and expectation.

“You’re going to…” She started but couldn’t finish. “Kill you?” he laughed. That low, gravelly laugh that sent chills straight down her spine. “No. Not tonight.”

She didn’t believe him. Because his eyes—those dark eyes—glowed with that same insane, dangerous gleam that told her his mind was far gone.

She watched his every move with breathless anticipation, holding it in until her cells screamed for oxygen. He didn’t say a word. He just tilted his head in that infuriatingly cocky way of his. She knew exactly what he wanted. They’d spent enough nights together for her to recognize every twisted little game he played.

Her trembling hands moved to the buttons of her pajama shirt, unfastening them one by one until her breasts were exposed to him. She couldn’t see his face… But she knew him well enough to know he was grinning like the bastard he was beneath that mask.

Swallowing hard, she guided his hand to one of her breasts. He laughed. The camera flashed, filling the room with light for a few seconds—click after click as he captured his hand on her skin, squeezing, marking.

“Danny…” she whimpered, squirming beneath him. His cock pulsed at the sound, his entire body begging to break her without mercy.

“If you’re… manipulating me…” He growled against the valley between her breasts before taking one nipple into his mouth, sucking with enough force to make her cry out, breaking her pride, “…I’ll make your life a living hell.”

Her hands moved desperately to push down her own pants, the fabric pooling around her ankles before she kicked them somewhere across the room. Her stomach twisted with anticipation. Her whole body throbbed, hot, wet, desperate for his touch… his attention… his punishment. Her panties were drenched, sticking between her thighs. And she hated herself for that. She hated how a bastard like him could make her feel this wanted, this needy, this hungry… even while being terrified.

“Please…” she whispered against his lips when his mouth finally left her nipple.

He pulled her into a kiss—fervent, urgent, his tongue easily claiming dominance and setting the pace he wanted. He handed her the camera before ending the kiss with that signature filthy smile on his lips, pressing the record button as soon as it was in her hands.

Her heart pounded, realization hitting her fast and hard. He wanted this recorded. He smiled with pure malice when she focused the lens on his face, capturing every second as he trailed wet kisses down her stomach until reaching her hips.

Instinctively, she spread her legs wider to give him space between them. His eyes never left the lens, even as his greedy hands pulled her panties down.

She touched his mask with one hand—asking for permission. He nodded. She removed it, pushed the hood back, guiding his head exactly where she needed him most, while her other hand clutched the camera, still recording every filthy second of their game.

Her thighs clamped around his head, her voice shaking as she moaned his name with devotion, hunger, and desperation.

“I missed tasting you like this…” he murmured against the inside of her thigh before kissing her there—his eyes never breaking contact with the camera lens. He knew she was watching him through that little screen. And his exhibitionist side loved every second of it.

“You like filming me, huh?” He teased, his fingers teasing her entrance, prepping her. “Like seeing how fucking obsessed I am with you?”

Her answer was her orgasm. Her body arched, the camera falling from her trembling hands as he snatched it up, turning the focus on her—on how utterly wrecked and beautiful she looked cumming for him.

Every gasp, every muscle spasm, the way her sex clenched around nothing—she was completely exposed, every reaction captured by the most dangerous man she’d ever met. And she liked it. God… she liked that filthy little game a bit too much.

She knew it was wrong. Twisted. Dirty. But then why…? Why did her body obey every single command he gave? Why did she crave every touch, every kiss, every degrading word that fell from his lips?

The only answer she could come up with… Was that she was just as dirty as he was? And only he could drag the worst parts of her out—exposing every flaw, every secret, every buried fantasy in that broken little soul of hers.

The universe had a sick sense of humor sometimes. He’d be her downfall. And she knew it.

The recording stopped just long enough for him to kiss her again. She tasted herself on his tongue… and loved every fucking second of it.

“Get on all fours,” he ordered, pulling off the shroud, exposing the athletic body only she knew. She obeyed without resistance, her skin breaking out in goosebumps, anticipation clawing at her insides. She heard the camera click—a few more photos—more filthy memories he’d keep for himself.

Her cheeks burned hot. She hated feeling exposed. She had spent her whole life avoiding attention. She hated speaking in public. And she would’ve rather died than be the center of attention… And now? Now her stomach twisted with excitement just knowing he’d keep something so intimate… so hers… in his possession.

He’d use these photos. These recordings. To threaten her, manipulate her, and control her whenever he wanted—she knew that. But she ignored the crushing weight of her own conscience screaming at her to hold onto what little dignity she had left.

He pressed the record button again, the camera focusing on his teasing her clit. He was already dripping, spreading precum all over her folds, slicking her up even more for what was about to come.

“Beg,” he ordered, the hand that had just been guiding his cock now slapping her hard enough to steal a broken moan from her lips.

“Please, Danny…” She cried, her back arching as another slap landed in the same spot. Her skin glowed red in the recording, the camera catching every tiny, filthy detail of her body from the best angles possible.

She didn’t want to beg. Some tiny, stubborn part of her still wanted to hold on. But when he pushed just the tip inside—the camera zoomed in on every inch stretching her open—she snapped.

“Please… Put it all in… Please fuck me… I need you…” “Good girl…” he laughed. That bastard fucking laughed as he stripped away whatever honor she had left. “One more time… say it again.” He pushed in a little deeper, his cock stretching her out with relentless precision.

“Please… I need… I need you, I need your cock…”

The shame of hearing herself say words that filthy burned her from the inside out. And the moan that tore from her throat when he buried himself all the way to the brim… was even dirtier.

“Faster…” she begged, her sanity long gone.

He gladly obliged. Their moans blended together, the bed protesting under their violent rhythm, skin slapping against skin—wet and obscene—filling the air alongside the whirring of the camera still recording every goddamn second.

The thrusts grew deeper, rougher, and faster. His grip on her hip tightened, fingers digging in, leaving bruises she’d feel the next day… maybe the whole fucking week.

For the first time since he started the second recording, he focused the camera on her face—wrecked, spent, cheeks wet with tears, her gaze glassy with pleasure and self-loathing… And yet, even ruined, even dominated, even coerced… She still wouldn’t look into the lens.

“Look at the camera…” He growled, voice wrecked, strained, nearly losing control. “Want to see you coming for me.”

And she obeyed.

When he hit that one spot inside her that made her weak, her second orgasm crashed down on her without warning; the line between pain and pleasure had been blurred long ago.

The camera caught every second: her body collapsing onto the mattress, his weight falling over her, both of them gasping—filthy and desperate—the sound of his final thrusts as he buried himself deep one last time… spilling everything inside her… marking her as his, and, even after the orgasm, her body kept squeezing him, holding him in, like it refused to let him go.

They stayed like that for long, heavy seconds—both of them panting, their breath tangled and obscene, the static hiss of the recording filling the background.

“Say you’re mine.” He yanked her hair, focusing the camera on her cock-drunk expression.

“I’m… yours…” she whimpered, too drained to fight back.

The recording cut. The last thing she heard before blacking out… was the camera clicking, capturing her ruined face one final time, just before he let her hair fall from his grip without an ounce of care.

[zo1nkss]

I want to talk about this kiss so, so, so badly. I literally can't stop thinking about it; it plays on loop in my mind 25/8.

(gif courtesy of @tortibomb - couldn't find it in the gif search so I'll credit this way.)

Quick TW because I will be discussing DV in this analysis, but only briefly in my 3rd point.

This is hands down my favorite kiss in the entire series so far. There are so many layers to their exchange here. It's so brief, but just from that we can conclude several things.

Before I dive in, I just want to touch on what this scene even represents within the plot. Akin has just been through something utterly devastating. From thinking he did something unforgiveable to realizing he was literally assaulted over the span of, what, a few days? A week? Considering we picked up right where we left off, I doubt it could have been more than 3 days, but I haven't always been the best at following timeframes so I can't be certain. But in this scene, the last person to put his hands on Akin's body in even remotely the same way was violating his right to consent. The stark difference between that, and Akin being fully conscious and welcoming every touch Jin offers him is undeniable. They are taking back his body together. Taking back his autonomy and consent. Taking back his security and sense of safety. That fact is integral to what I'm about to say.

First of all, can we talk about the way Jin physically handled him in this moment? That is a commanding action, yet still such a gentle and loving touch. We can feel a sense of reverence in the way he directs Akin's movement. He's not being forceful or aggressive; the only compelling emotion behind this is desperation and thats clear in the very motion of his hand.

My second point is Akin's level of comfort with being touched like this by Jin. He goes willingly, without even a moment of resistence. Not only does he allow his body to be manipulated at Jin's will, but through microexpressions we can see that he's actually enjoying it. He likes it when Jin tells him what to do or where to go. Likes giving up control, even of his own body, and allowing this man to do what he wants. To have that level of comfort and trust in someone after what Akin has just been through absolutely speaks volumes.

That fact alone brings us right to my third point, which is the amount of trust Akin has in Jin to not only allow this to happen but to like it. Any DV survivor can probably tell you that a hand on your throat means you're 3x more likely to die in an abuse situation. The fact that Akin shows no signs of fear or resistence, there's no moment of hesitation, there's no pause to remind himself where he is or who he's with. His eyes are closed, his mouth is open, and he responds instantaneously when Jin pushes his chin. He has absolute faith in this man's intentions. He knows without a shadow of a doubt that Jin would never, could never, lay a violent or aggressive hand on him. If anything, he is comforted by the way Jin puts his hands on him. He welcomes him without fear or insecurity. Not only craves, but revels in the way Jin touches him.

And we can absolutely trace back their interactions and understand exactly why. There has never once been a moment when Jin so much as expressed himself loudly. He's never raised his voice, never spoken with force, never made Akin feel unsafe or insecure in any way. Jin has genuinely earned the right to touch Akin in whatever way he pleases, thoughtless of the effect it could have, because he has shown time and time again that his hands will never be used to cause harm to Akin. They will only ever show his love and devotion. And the fact that Akin has absolute faith in that is really such a beautiful thing.

In conclusion, this is - in my opinion - the most telling and revealing kiss they have shared. Jin loves him absolutely, and Akin trusts that love without a shadow of doubt. They really have built a solid foundation to develop this relationship on, and I won't be surprised if it's completely unshakeable from this day on. I don't think Jin is going to doubt Akin's faithfulness again after this, and Akin is certainly never going to question Jin's willingness to admit when he's wrong. I really feel like those two facts are expressed so openly through this specific kiss.

I don't really know how to end analytic posts bc I haven't done this in over a year but thats all I wanted to say. Thanks for coming to my ted talk or whatever xD

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

Yandere Coworker (part 13)

Thank you @i---believe---in---pink for commissioning this chapter.

(2331 words)

tw: cyprus kissing you without consent, a bit of injury , afab reader

Masterlists (+commission info), part 1, part 14

You apologized.

He was silent, focusing on maneuvering the car safely, but you caught how his stern, grey eyes widened a bit in surprise. But aside from that, there was no other reaction from him.

You looked out of the window and curled yourself to the door. Cyprus continued driving quietly.

You nodded off, closing your eyes, and allowed your body to gently sway along with the movements of his car. The constant humming of his engine is making you sleepy, or maybe it was your eyedrops? Or perhaps it's the fact that Cyprus isn't talking for once. Whatever it is, you find yourself struggling to stay awake.

Eventually, you managed to wake yourself up again as you detected a change in your environment; the car stopped moving. You blinked multiple times and focused your bleary eyes, realizing you were back in the underground car park. You grumbled, about to rub your eyes, but resisted when you realized what you were suffering with. So you endured the discomfort and unbuckled your seatbelt.

Then, you felt a tap on your shoulder. Making you turn around without thinking, only to have your lips mashed with his. You let out a muffled scream, and Cyprus seized his chance to slip his tongue into your mouth. You couldn't escape, because Cyprus was progressively climbing over to your seat, trapping you against the door and his muscular chest. His hands were fervently rubbing all over your body; a hand roamed under your shirt and another pushed the back of your head towards him. Your hands were free, but your hits and scratches did nothing to him, or maybe you were holding back and not causing actual harm.

He positioned himself until you're sitting on his lap, you could kick all you want but it's only harming the air. It's fueling your chagrin that he angled you in such a way, that you couldn't even deal any damage towards his car.

You opened your eyes the entire time, noticing that Cyprus had removed his glasses. It's unfair that he has such long, pretty, and dark eyelashes, it's especially accentuated when his eyes are closed and you're this physically close to him. It's also frustrating that he's actually a god at kissing, it's undeniably enjoyable despite being a violation of your autonomy. He knew where to run his tongue to send tingles down your spine, he knew the pace to mold his lips with yours and he knew where to touch with his fingers to fluster you to the maximum.

Sensual smacks and soft moaning occasionally slip through the gaps between kissers filled the car, shuffling and rubbing of fabric also could be heard. But not to the world outside. And you are eternally grateful for that.

You ran out of breath, hitting him a bit harsher than usual. It did the trick, Cyprus got the hint and reluctantly parted his lips from yours with a very audible pop. His grey eyes fluttered open to see you disheveled and dizzy, your cheeks were heated up to an almost uncomfortable degree, and it's not due to a fever. You're panting and gasping greedily for air, it's jarring to see how Cyprus is breathing fine as if he didn't hold his breath for about a minute and a half. A slappable smirk found its home on his handsome face as he chuckled at you.

"Apology accepted." He said as he wiped excess drool from the corner of your lips with his thumb. "And you really need practice; you ran out of breath already?" Cyprus continued as he hugged you close, nuzzling his nose against the side of your face. You whined, trying to pry him off you, but all he did was laugh and press a kiss on your jaw. "You are so not getting through foreplay. You were right, we should just fuck right away instead."

You yelled that you're not going to have sex with him. He still wouldn't let you escape his arms, though, keeping you in place as he peppers your head with appreciative kisses. "Of course, you're not. Because we have a farmer's market to explore. Though, I don't mind a quickie..." He purred in your ear.

You called him shameless. "Only for you." He replied wittily as he gently groped you in different areas.

You called him disgusting. "Ouch." It was a nonchalantly teasing response. You then told him you don't care about his feelings or well-being, if your words hurt, then it's too bad. He merely smiled and hummed; "Mhmm..." Yet, he still wouldn't let you go from his bear cuddles.

You told him that he shouldn't have too much contact with you, because you have pink eye.

"I have grey ones. Your point?" He snickered, kissing the crown of your head.

You said he could get infected!

"And?" You stared at him incredulously.

You said that he's going to get sick and miserable!

"And?" His grin grew the more you talked.

You said that it wouldn't feel good and-- then you saw what he was trying to get you to admit. You couldn't believe that you fell for it, twice.

Cyprus simply laughed, he didn't even need to tease you for caring about him despite saying otherwise. You're humiliated enough and he didn't want you to burst into tears right before exploring the market.

"You know, princess. One of the steps to kicking an addiction is to find another coping mechanism." He stroked your hair while staring at you lovingly.

You asked him where is he going with this conversation. But your words were cut short when he pushed your head into his broad chest, making you take in his scent.

"I don't need to carry a pack with me anymore. But I'm now addicted to you." He mumbled into your hair, letting out a sigh of pleasure as he relished in your presence. "I'm not complaining, you're definitely way healthier than cigarettes."

You were about to say something, but he cut you off. "You're the best thing that has ever happened to me, baby. God, I can't imagine my life without you in it."

You wanted to snark back, however, something stopped you. And you think it's due to the serenity he held in his face.

"You make everything so good. How does my pretty girl do it?" He rambled on. You didn't reply, because you knew it was just a rhetorical question.

He continued cradling you in his arms for a few more minutes.

--

"Princess."

He called to grab your attention. You were distracted by the live animals being sold.

You turned your head to the side, only to have a piece of orange press against your lips. Looking up at his face, Cyprus had his sunglasses clipped on and he was chewing. No doubt, he was eating the orange he bought earlier; it's impressive how he could peel them while walking, and not drop a slice or its outer covering.

"It's great. I never see this variant in stores and I have been hunting for it for a while now. Try it." He prodded your mouth with the juicy piece, you're not going to lie, it does look succulent and sweet.

You hesitantly took it in between your teeth, he let it go so that he could peel more of the oranges for you and him.

It was delicious and seedless too, and you secretly wanted more. But you don't think it's a good idea to try and ask something of Cyprus. You don't have to, as if he read your mind, he wordlessly fed you another piece.

You and he strolled through the stalls, Cyprus was mindlessly feeding you and himself the peeled orange slices. Well, he's mostly feeding you at this point, and you didn't even realize you ate three whole oranges already.

You could see why he wanted to come here, they sold a variety of different fresh produce. Most of which you have never seen before. A unique take on street food, pickled goods, and handicrafts were also prevalent there, it's an overall lively place. Maybe it isn't that bad after all, you liked the vibrant colors, the smell of pretzels and blooming flowers definitely gave you a new experience. The air is much cleaner and lighter here, unlike the polluted city.

Cyprus trailed behind you, peeling another orange for you while enjoying the sights too. He stuffed the peels in the plastic bag where the oranges were from. However, his eyes were mostly trained on you: the sight he enjoys the most.

You felt his hand getting closer to your face, thinking that it was another orange segment, you swallowed the remnants of the previous one and parted your lips for the fruit to enter.

"Ow!"

That wasn't an orange.

You apologized in reflex for biting his finger, but then you blamed him for sticking his index in your mouth, why would he do that?

He rubbed his digit with his thumb while laughing, unclear at you or at himself. "Did you really need to bite that hard for an orange piece? It's not like the damn thing would bite back."

You said that doesn't matter, you wanted to know why he did what he did.

His response was to shrug. "I just wanted to see something."

He wanted to see how strong of a bite force you have?

"Yeah, maybe. That's not all, though." He smirked, bending down to peck you on the forehead. Cyprus dodged your swats effortlessly.

You asked if it's a sexual thing.

"If you want it to be, but I usually prefer to do the biting." He lets out a guffaw when you tried punching him on the arm.

You asked again, why he did that.

Cyprus smiled at you. "I know you trust me."

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. That's such a false statement, it's sickening. He couldn't be further from the truth, Cyprus is the last person you would trust with anything. Why did he think that way of you?

He slung an arm around your shoulders, pressing you to his side as the two of you walked.

"You weren't paying attention when I fed you for twenty minutes, baby. I could have fed you dog shit but you didn't see me in that light. It's cause you trust me not to fuck you over. That's why when I brought my hand to your mouth, you bit me- thinking it was just another slice of orange."

You blinked owlishly at his reasoning. What? Isn't that... the bare minimum? Even strangers wouldn't feed you something so terrible, why would he be any different?

There was an amused look on his face as he snorted. "So you're telling me... if a random guy just starts poking your lips with an orange slice, you'd just... eat it? And let him feed you for a full twenty minutes?"

You think you can see the grave you somewhat dug yourself in. You just said yes just so you could save whatever face you have left in this rebuttal.

And that made him laugh out in glee. "You're so fucking funny, doll. Admit it, I grew on you. And you like it when I take you out on dates like this. Even if you had to be a whiny brat at the start."

You immediately deny it out of reflex.

"Yeah right. You're blushing." He playfully ruffled your hair.

You deny it again, you're feeling increasingly embarrassed as time goes on. Damned Cyprus and his teasing.

He chuckled, kissing you on the temple as you tried your hardest to defend yourself. But you end up stuttering and making more of a mess than it already is.

"You know I love you, right?" He muttered in your ear, brushing his lips on the shell of it, making you shiver.

You didn't reply. This only made his smile wider. "I know you love me too."

You said you don't.

"Yeah, keep telling yourself that, beautiful. Keep denying your true feelings for me, it totally wouldn't come out sooner or later." Cyprus rubbed your arm up and down. You feel deflated, but you must keep walking to keep the foot traffic flowing.

Then, a food stall caught your attention. They're selling your favorite treat but with a creative spin on it. Their products look edible enough for you. However, the prices were absurd, it was written in chalk, on a blackboard easel next to its food truck.

"You can just say you wanted that." You were snapped out of your thoughts. You turned your head to see Cyprus was already fishing his wallet out, to retrieve the money needed to purchase a dish. "The amount of mind reading I have to do..." He grumbled under his breath.

You lied and said you didn't want it. He paused, putting his hands on his hips and giving you an unimpressed look. "Really?"

You said yes, really.

He rolled his eyes, clamping his hand around your wrist. "Come on, we're getting you one of those." Cyprus dragged you in the direction of the food truck.

You said you really didn't want it!

"Yeah, and I'm Chinese." He retorted sarcastically. "I know that look."

You asked, what look?

"It's like you're physically incapable of telling me what you want. I had to adapt and find ways around it. Come on, a line is forming behind us, which one did you want?" The sun was shining too brightly, so Cyprus stood in front, blocking the scorching rays for you.

You and he stood right at the front of the food truck, where the attendant looked at you expectantly. Her fingers are already positioned on the screen of the digital cash register.

You sighed and pointed at the item on the menu.

Cyprus smiled with satisfaction, he went ahead and told her your order.

You watched him pay for the overpriced treat as if it were a piece of cheap candy.

[autistichalsin]

One of the things that fascinates me about Halsin is how, as into sex as he is, he seems singularly focused on his partner's pleasure; he gets on his knees for them in his romance scene, but shows no sign of wanting them to return the favor.

And in fact, he is a lot better at giving advice than taking it. After flirting at the Tiefling party, Halsin tells the player not to worry about coming on too strong and that they were just seizing the moment, and yet, if the player rejects Halsin after he accidentally wildshapes, the next morning he apologizes for coming on too strong.

Whether that's just a hangup of his because he thinks he has to be the Best to make sure his lover won't leave him, or maybe some of it is a result of the Underdark, I'm not sure. But he definitely is harder on himself than others.

And I think that is one thing that would come out in his kinks; as much as he affirms that, for example, dom/sub fantasies are perfectly normal (like in that party banter to ascended Astarion, where his worry is specifically because the player is actually thralled) he seems like he has trouble affirming his own. For example, he shifts into bear form in the Drow brothel, but only does this when they express interest in his bear form; "we must give the people what they want, mustn't we?"

So it would be really interesting, then, for Halsin to have a really taboo kink/desire, and be absolutely terrified to tell his partner about it, terrified they'll think he's sick/a freak and leave him.

TW: Discussion of consensual non-consent, also known as rape fantasy or rapeplay, are under the cut. Read at your own risk.

So imagine Halsin having this fantasy. As a big guy he is used to being the dominant partner; no one has ever suspected he might like to bottom, or to be a submissive. The only time he's done such a thing was with his Drow captors. He knows he would like to give his submission willingly, and he does with his partner a few times, before expressing this particular kink.

One thing that gets horribly misunderstood is what makes one actually want CNC. It isn't that they actually want to get raped; it's the idea of having control forcibly taken so completely, while still being safe. Such people wouldn't enjoy a real assault. It's precisely because it comes from a trusted partner, who isn't actually hurting them, that people enjoy it.

So for Halsin, who always has to be in control, to want to explore his trauma where he was forced to lose control, and to experiment with elements from that in an entirely different scenario, where he can draw comfort from it, is something i could very much see him wanting. He would want to revisit those on his terms. He himself said that while under such endless stress from the Shadow Curse, he began to fantasize about his days with the Drow, viewing it as a safer place mentally. "Perhaps [the Shadow Curse] caused me to gild undeserving memories of my youth..." He is trying to work out his feelings towards when he lost control.

He clearly doesn't want to return to them; if a Lolth Drow threatens to sell him back to his captors, he snaps, "you would be unwise to attempt it, trust me. In any case, the house of my captors is long-extinct." Then he pauses and has a realization; realizing for the first time that they were captors, not hosts, and that captors was a more accurate term. Halsin is still processing parts of his trauma, after all this time, and admits that his current stresses caused him to struggle with this.

So he doesn't want to actually return to them, but in his head he constructed a fantasy version of them that was safer to engage with, where the violations he endured weren't real. And honestly, in his shoes, it's completely understandable how and why that happened.

So that makes the case for why he needs a safe place to explore himself, his fantasies, his fears, all of it.

The issue of course is that Halsin is self-sacrificing and, as noted above, doesn't seem to prioritize his wants as much as his partners'. If he ever did manage to speak about this, it would be, I think, after a great deal of guilt and maybe even self-loathing, thinking there must be something wrong with him for having these fantasies.

So imagine him with a partner who is happy to indulge him, who gets him to finally open up about his desires. Who affirms that he's allowed to have desires, to process his trauma however he needs; after all, any way of working through it is better than doing nothing like Halsin has been doing for centuries. This is him finally being willing to explore it, to see how it interacted with his own sexuality; of course his partner would never refuse him such a thing.

That is the core of the CNC fic I'm going to write; showing how Halsin's unique blend of traumas affect how and why he craves this in particular.

[myirlnameiscloud]

tw: mentions of abuse. nothing too graphic.

I really hate how Megatron treats Starscream in this episode. Well, in TFP in general of course, but especially in season 2 episode 24.

(Apologies for the slight glitches in the video, idk what happened there.)

I know it's already been discussed quite a lot, but I just hate when people act like TFP Starscream is this completely evil villain who deserved everything they received.

(Further explanation under cut)

Notice the way Starscream flinches when Megatron speaks. Already, in this scene we have signs of terror in Starscream.

Megatron has violated their privacy by entering their brain without their consent, for no good reason. Megatron claims it is to "see if his intentions are true," but I think that's bullshit. He's already seen enough of Starscream to be able to manipulate and bully and terrorize them with ease, so it was unnecessary for him to go into Starscream's mind to look at her private thoughts and memories.

When Starscream tells Megatron to just "take the keys and pretend they were never there," it is an attempt to flee, plain and simple. Starscream only wanted safety from this arrangement, trying to use the omega keys as a deal to regain his status as SIC, or simply as a Decepticon in general. He is scared, and completely gives up on his search of safety with the Decepticons in that moment. Megatron preys on that fear, not letting him leave. More signs of panic arise in Starscream when we see them start to hyperventilate. (Or the Cybertronian equivalent to hyperventilation)

It's just such an abusive thing to do, but I guess, what do you expect from the leader of the Decepticons?

To make things even worse, Megatron shames Starscream for having a "twisted little mind," which I assume is him trying to convince Starscream that he is too stupid and undeserving to disobey Megatron. He threatens to kill Starscream, and that is when it gets even more horrible.

Starscream says that "a good trouncing usually straightens them out," and afterwards, a montage plays of past times where Starscream is beaten by Megatron. This was not for war, this was just to abuse his power over his smaller and weaker SIC to bully and manipulate them. It makes me so sad to see Starscream offer herself up to abuse in order to avoid death. It's just what she's gotten used to over the years.

They could never hurt Megatron in a way that would be equivalent to the pain he has forced them to endure for so long.

And yet, people STILL try to justify the abuse Starscream receives, saying that they are treacherous and cowardly, so they deserve it.

I hate this. I take it very personally, in fact, even when I know I shouldn't. Of course I can still laugh and make jokes about Starscream's self-absorbed personality, but it makes me incredibly uncomfortable to hear people laugh over Starscream being emotionally and physically abused by Megatron. Or worse; when they *romanticize* it.

The creators of TFP even thought it was funny when Starscream was hurt because she "screams like a girl." So I think that, whether people realize it or not, when they laugh at Starscream being hurt by Megatron, it is for somewhat misogynistic reasons. I also think that when people ship Megatron and Starscream (specifically in TFP) that it is not just toxic, but it is abusive. I would consider it a proshipping thing. (Proshippers PLEASE dni)

I've had similar experiences with victim-blaming, so I can't help but get a little defensive when people attack my favorite character for being "deserving of abuse."

Obviously, do whatever you want. This is simply my analysis of the situation, and sharing what I think. Of course I know that Starscream has also done some awful stuff in TFP, but I do not consider them to be 100% evil. I could list reasons why for days, honestly. Regardless, they did not deserve to be abused. Thanks for reading.