#VERSE. ( death is only the beginning. ) ( main. )

[corazondebeskar-reads]

march 2nd (a you know you never stood a chance bonus)

you know you never stood a chance series

bonus: march 2nd

series masterlist

Joel Miller x f!reader

words: 1.6k

summary: fix it fic. straight up. i promised the Event would never come to pass in this verse and this is me cementing that. takes place after "hold on easy."

warnings: discussions of father-daughter relationships, abby dies, oc children, anxiety, intrusive thoughts, graphic nightmares, character death but none of the main crew. no smut, sorry. literally just assuring that they're fine 💀

also on ao3

dividers by @saradika-graphics

March had never been important. It didn’t remind you of anyone except a sort-of-friend from school who is probably a walking mushroom now. It wasn’t capable of significant weather. It held no joy, nor was it shrouded by winter’s weary waking. The days would soon be longer, the nights not as bleak. 

One particular March, this changes. Violently, amidst a snowstorm. It changes, and it changes the course of your life forever. 

This March, this second day of March, this innocuous, sleepy weekday afternoon, your life is thrown sharply to the side. 

For on March 2, Alejandra was born. 

Five years later, on another March 2nd, you wake sharply from a nightmare. You know you must have screamed, because Lulu is wailing in that strained, billowing way that sends your heart skittering, like she’s hurt, or terrified.

And truth be told, you know she’s scared. Her mama just screamed so loudly for her daddy, the fear and anguish in your voice alarming to a two-year-old. You roll over and scoop her into your arms, murmuring apologies. 

So much for a peaceful afternoon nap before the chaos begins. 

“C’mon, squiggly girl,” you say, hauling her upside down as she giggles and wiggles. “Daddy’ll be home soon. Let’s get ourselves ready, huh?”

“Party time?” she asks eagerly.

“Yeah, baby girl, it’s almost party time.”

“Mama, come on,” she grabs your hand with her two little ones and tugs, tears forgotten in her excitement. It’s good. You wish it were so easy. 

It’s been a while since you had one of those dreams, the ones that used to haunt you when Joel and Ellie were gone.  This one had been as volatile, as graphic, as haunting as the one you had the night Alé was born.

Your family, at the mercy of faceless hunters. Your family, bloodied and beaten down. You can’t move, you can never fucking move until it’s too late. 

Joel. Ellie. Tommy. All lying in the snow, melting crimson blossoming like mycelial tendrils around them. It isn’t realistic, no, but your slumbering brain believes it still. Like most of these dreams, they’re beyond help when you find them. They’re barely recognizable, if only you could possibly ever not recognize them. As if you wouldn’t know them in your fucking soul. 

It’s not like you’re stupid. Every day, you stand a fairly high chance of losing one or all of them. The worst days are when they’re all out on patrol, usually separate, but what if? What if that’s the day your luck runs out? 

Lord, you can’t lose anyone else. 

You don’t patrol much these days. Not just because of the girls, though, you often end up picking them up after school. But there are others. They don’t need you; you could be out there helping, out there so you’re not too goddamn late.

It doesn’t matter. You haven’t really gone out much since the day you killed that hunter. And if you’re honest, it ain’t because of the killing, exactly. It’s your nerves. 

Something in you never settled quite right after the baby. It took a long, long time to start to feel remotely normal. It took effort every day not to break down. You don’t even talk to Joel about it anymore, can’t bring yourself to say the same goddamn things every day and hear the same goddamn things back. 

His assurances are a balm, but it’s noncomedogenic. A momentary respite that does nothing to dig the thorns out where your skin’s grown over them. Your muscles still twitch around them, bleeding the string of thoughts you can’t control. 

What if the building collapses? What if she gets trampled by a horse? What if he falls off the tower? What if she’s allergic to something? 

“Mama,” Lulu whines, tugging at your shirt. Joel’s shirt, really, but he’s long since given up on keeping you out of his side of the closet. 

“Sorry, baby,” you say, going back to fixing up the bed. It makes the guilt sink in beyond your grasp, unrecoverable, laid to rot in your veins. Even she knows there’s something not right about you. Something missing. 

Just a dream. That’s all. It has to be. They’re fine. Joel will be home any minute—

A knock. And another. 

Cold slips through, and you’ve got Lulu on your hip without a moment’s thought, heading for the stairs. “Now, who could that be?” you ask her, and she doesn’t seem to notice the waver in your voice. Because who could it be? None of the damn Millers knock on that door, they barge in at any hour for any reason. Not that you’re complaining. Not really.

You think of those television dramas where a knock on the door turned women into widows, where the news wasn’t even spoken, it was just carved into the lines of their faces when the door swung open.

But there’s no reaper at the door. No messenger, no harbinger, no burdened bearer. 

There’s just Joel.

Well, Joel and JJ. Lulu squeals, “Baby!” in excitement. She’s had trouble figuring out how to say JJ, and in frustration, has given up entirely. 

“ Baby?” Joel huffs, shifting JJ on his hip to better balance the boxes in his other arm. “What’m I, chopped liver?”

“Huh?” Lulu wrinkles her nose. 

“Is that a footprint on the door?” you interrupt, and Joel quickly comes inside, pushing the door shut behind him with his ass. 

“I didn’t have any hands,” he says when you don’t free him from your scrutiny. 

You go to retort, but the deep line between his brows is a trench your good humor can’t cross. The pair of you set your respective children on the floor, and move in silent tandem to the far side of the room. He sets the boxes down, and sits beside you on the ledge of your favorite bay window. 

“S’nothin’,” he says up front. “Not yet, anyway.”

You say nothing, lips pursed, waiting.

“They radioed in while I was in town. Ran into some trouble.”

He doesn’t need to say who. You’re aware, always, of when the kids are out on patrol.

“But they’re fine. Big storm rolled in, brought a bunch of Infected, and some randoms. They’re holed up in the old lodge right now, waitin’ out the storm. Dunno if they’ll make it back for the party, though.” 

He scrubs a hand over his forehead, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I don’t like them out there with strangers,” he admits. 

“Me neither,” you say, letting out a soft breath. 

His hand rubs your shoulder. He knows you too damn well. “C’mon. Let’s get the babies dressed.”

If the adults are on edge, the kids don’t notice. They’re screaming, running around Tommy and Maria’s house like the wild creatures they are. 

“Aw, I missed cake?” Ellie’s voice cuts in as the back door opens. She, Dina, and Jesse stumble in, more snow than human, but no worse for wear. 

“Saved you some,” Maria tells her. Most of you are in the kitchen, where the back door leads, hiding from the feral pack of noise and chaos. Someone had gifted Alé with a soccer ball in a snowstorm , and Tommy hadn’t had the spine to tell her she couldn’t try it out. 

You all cringe at a crash, and Tommy has the good sense to look guilty as he sucks it up and goes to investigate. 

“Any, uh… guests come back with you?” Joel cuts in, eyes on Ellie.

“About that,” she says, eyes shifting. “Let’s just say they didn’t make it after all.”

Joel stiffens. You were already fretting, but his alarm sets off a spike of concern. 

She looks at him and jerks her head. Invited or not, you follow. The three of you end up in the little room Maria uses as an office, door closed and only a desk lamp to cast your shadows tall against the wall. 

“They knew who I was,” Ellie says, a darkness crossing her face that you’ve seen so many times before on Joel. 

“What do you mean?” he asks, his tone matching her expression.

“They were—or at least some of them were—ex-Fireflies.”

Joel’s hands clench to fists at his side. “They hurt you?” he demands.

“No, no, we’re all fine. But they got real weird, started asking questions, started getting antsy. And the leader, she knew I was, y’know. She knew exactly who I was. And who you were.”

“And—” he starts to demand answers, but she cuts him off.

“And they’re dead,” she says bluntly.

He sighs, runs a hand through his hair. His lip twitches as he looks at her determined, steeled expression. “Good,” he says. “That’s good.”

“Yeah, well, it was exhausting,” she says. “Now, move. You don’t want to be between me and that cake right now.”

Joel catches your hand and pulls you back when you go to follow, smoothly wrapping you up against him, front to front.

“I’m not fuckin’ you in Maria’s office,” you warn. 

But he just rests his forehead against yours, sighing and closing his eyes. “I swear, I get more gray hair every day they go out there,” he says.

“She’s got a good head on her shoulders,” you say, even though your own worry wears at you the same way. “Gets it from her dad.”

“Shut up,” he grumbles affectionately, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “Alright. Let’s go lasso up our little wildebeest before she gets Ellie to share.”

[azriona]

Not a Fairy Tale Kiss, Epilogue

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Avenger!OFC (2nd person POV)

This Chapter word count: 5k ~ Total Story count: 162k

Summary: When you and Bucky are both accidentally hit with sex pollen while on a mission, you're determined to keep your relationship status at friendship, even if you’d like it to be more. Even if you think he feels the same. Even if you accidentally end up pregnant. Even if it kills you.

(Spoiler Alert: it might actually kill you. Good luck with that.)

Trigger warnings include discussion of abortion, failed pregnancies, deaths of both mom & baby--not the MC! Full warnings on AO3. Happy ending is guaranteed, despite warnings. Please see AO3 for full A/N and tags.

Chapter Summary: In which we see three mornings in Avengers Tower, in reverse order.

It is a beautiful morning in New York City. The sky is clear, the air is crisp, the leaves are all the gorgeous shades of fall. There are four people in your apartment in Avengers Tower, and only one of them is not crying.

(Spoiler: it's not the baby.)

Cross-posting to Tumblr will begin sometime in June.

Posts will include the header image above and use the tag #not a fairy tale kiss verse. Let me know if you have questions or concerns; my main goal is to make reading easy, accessible, and not spam the tag. Send me an ask/DM and I can tag you when I start!

Thanks!

[imagine-you]

my love is alive and not dead [Logan/Reader]

Summary: The sixth and final chapter of won't somebody come take me home. All hell has well and truly broken loose with the arrival of old friends and unwanted guests. You want nothing more than to send Jean and the other Logan home, but you start to realize that your main priority has to be freeing your Logan from Apocalypse's clutches. You're not prepared for the sacrifice you'll have to make to wake Logan, but it might be the only way to get him home and secure the future you're so desperate to share with him. Word Count: 10.1k This Chapter May Contain: Angst, Reunions, Surprise Cameos!, Near-Death Experiences, Logan Brooding, Retribution, Teamwork, Fluff, and A Happy Ending.

Home 'Verse Read On AO3

"Get the fuck out," you spat at Jean and the other Logan. You knew Jean was the bigger threat, especially when she was using her full powers, but you couldn't take your eyes off the other Logan. You didn't trust him and you sure as hell didn't want to let your guard down around him. "Leave," you demanded when they both kept staring at you. "I don't care how the fuck you do it, but you’ve got to go back. You sure as hell can't stay here."  

"We're only here to help," Jean claimed, holding on to her usual unbothered facade. "I've defeated Apocalypse before. I can do it again. I thought you would appreciate us lending a hand." 

You rolled your eyes, beginning to form a spiked forcefield around your fist. "Get out," you ordered. "We've got more than enough here to defeat Apocalypse. We don’t need you. We’ve never needed you," you stressed, meeting the other Logan’s stare.  

"Are you really going to deny our help because of our past?" Jean wondered, arching an eyebrow at you in question. “I thought you’d want to put all that behind us given the current circumstances.” 

You let out a disbelieving laugh, taking a step in her direction. You didn't care if she could kill you with just a though, because all you wanted to do was hurt her. She had swept your life away from you like it was nothing and now she wanted to play nice? You didn’t trust her as far as you could throw her and that was not at all. You wanted her and the other Logan gone so badly that you could feel your shoulders pull tight with tension. You were poised, ready to strike at just one wrong word, but you weren’t even sure which one of them you wanted to hit more.  

"Hold on, now," Cable started, moving to put himself between you and Jean. "We're all here for the same reason." 

"Are we?" You questioned, looking from Jean to the other Logan. "Because I can't help but think their motives aren't so altruistic. After Scott died, those two made my life hell," you reminded everyone in the room. "You really think I can trust them to help me get back the love of my life? What the fuck are you two even doing here? Shouldn’t you have fucked off into the sunset together with your kid?" 

You noticed the other Logan shift warily on his feet. "You came back to get me from Omega Red. We can do this for you." You thought he would leave it there, touched that maybe he had found some semblance of compassion since you were gone. Until he opened his mouth again. "And then you can come back home." 

You blinked at him in surprise before the words fully registered. "What the fuck did you just say?" 

“Oh, it’s about to get good,” you heard Wade mutter. 

"Come home," the other Logan repeated, having the audacity to look like he genuinely wanted you back in your original universe.  

 You could do nothing but stare at the other Logan for a moment before you started laughing. It was too high, too hysterical, and entirely done with the whole situation. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” you growled.  

Cable held a hand up, his palm facing you. "Why don't we just calm down, alright? Let's think about the bigger picture here." 

"No, no," Wade tutted, shaking a finger at Cable. "Let her cook." 

"What is wrong with you?" You couldn't help but wonder as you stared down the other Logan. "Do you not remember when you dropped me at the first opportunity for her?" You gestured towards Jean, trying hard not to sneer at her. "Do you not remember when I showed up to save your ass and then told you I was happier here? Do you not remember that I never want to go back, because I found the right Logan? The better Logan? Huh? Any of that ringing a bell?" 

The other Logan's jaw was clenched, and you could see him trying to suppress his irritation. "This isn't your home," he tried to argue, and you finally decided you had enough.  

You lunged at the other Logan, letting the spikes disappear as you hit him over and over again. You didn’t want this to be over too soon, preferring to take your time with the other Logan. You wanted him to feel pain and while it would never compare to the kind he had inflicted on you, it would have to do for now. So, you let your forcefield take the brunt of the impact, bringing it down into his face over and over again.  

The other Logan’s nose broke and blood was now pouring freely from a cut on his lip, but you couldn't stop. You realized that the other Logan was simply letting you take out all your anger on him and that only fueled your rage more. You didn't need pity from him or any favors. You needed him gone.  

You had drawn your fist up for another hit when you staggered back, clutching your head as a blinding agony took over. It took you entirely too long to realize it was Jean. You remembered the psychic blasts she would bestow on opponents, putting them through unimaginable pain. Now you knew what it felt like, and it only served to piss you off even more.  

You turned your attention away from the other Logan and towards her. You could shield yourself, but you wanted to annoy her. So, you brought up a shaky hand and pushed past the pain to erect a forcefield around her, cutting off her psychic power. Jean narrowed her eyes at you, but you weren't done. You felt a grin form on your face as the first spike shot out, nearly catching Jean in the side. Her eyes went wide in surprise, and you spat out a mouthful of blood. Jean's attack had startled you enough that you had bitten the side of your mouth and now blood was all you could taste.  

"You're not the only one with tricks," you told her. "Want another one?" 

"Alright, alright," Magik sighed before grabbing your arm. "Break it up, children." 

You were suddenly on the front lawn, Magik still keeping a tight grip on your arm. You could hear shouting inside the mansion, and you turned back to consider it, not able to get a good glimpse into the room where you were previously standing. 

You were equal parts grateful and annoyed for Illyana’s intervention. You wanted to see just how many hits you could get in before Jean crumbled. You wanted to bash the other Logan’s face in until he could see nothing but his own blood. You wanted to destroy them, but you also knew that it wouldn’t bring you the peace you sought. You would only get that back once the pair of them were gone and you had your Logan back. Now, you were caught in a weird limbo where nothing felt right, and everything was fucked up.  

"Fuck," you sighed before letting yourself drop onto the ground.  

"Fuck," Illyana agreed, sitting down at your side. "Breakups are messy." 

You snorted, shaking your head. "It's not even the breakup anymore," you admitted, listening to the raised voices inside the front room.  

You heard the other Logan roar before Wade was thrown through the window. He was bent over the frame, a piece of glass sticking through his torso. He let himself fall forward as a flash lit up the front room and you heard Charles tell Alex to calm down in an exasperated voice.  

You watched as Wade practically bounced back to his feet, shaking off glass as he rapidly healed the claw marks along his ribs.  

"It's her and it's him and it's them here together while my Logan is off being a weapon for Apocalypse. They're the last people I wanted to see," you continued once the ruckus died down. 

Wade dropped down on your other side, throwing an arm around your shoulders.  

"Maybe I should have called on a different ex of yours," Illyana mused, gaining Wade's attention. You could feel him practically perk up at your side.  

"Oh? Please share," Wade chimed in, leaning forward to get a better look at Illyana. "I thought she only had eyes for tall, dark, and angry in there." 

Illyana laughed, shooting you a smirk. "Not entirely," she allowed with a shrug of her shoulders. "There was one Sergeant Barnes. The two of you were so sweet together." 

You hadn't thought of Bucky in a while, but you couldn't deny that you missed him. Before the two of you fell together, you had been friends. You had been pining over Logan and Bucky had been missing Steve, so it just made sense that the two of you would seek comfort in each other. It had been good, perfect, until it wasn't. But you knew that despite the distance, if Magik had gone to him telling him you needed help, he would have dropped everything to be here.  

"Oh my God," Wade gasped, pointing at you. "Look at that smile. You fucked the Winter Soldier! Wow, you really like the strong, silent, traumatized type," he remarked, bumping his shoulder into yours.  

You ignored Wade and turned your focus on Illyana. "You need to take them back. I don't want them here. I don't need them here." 

"I think you do," she refuted, shaking her head. "Jean killed Apocalypse once before. Maybe she can kill this one too. You're being stubborn, no?" 

You sighed, not wanting to admit that maybe Magik was right. There were a lot of things you were willing to compromise for the sake of Logan, your dignity among them. "I'm not apologizing," you told her, knowing you sounded childish. "And I can't promise that I won't try to kill Jean or that asshole in there if they piss me off." 

"First, we kill Apocalypse," Magik replied, before shooting you a conspiratorial smirk. "And then if you still want to kill the two idiots, I'll help you." 

"Yes," Wade hissed in approval. "That's what I'm talking about," he agreed with a hand raised at Illyana. She simply quirked an eyebrow at him before reluctantly giving him a high-five.  

"It is chaos in there," Piotr interrupted, approaching the three of you. "I do not think this was the best idea." 

"You're telling me," you sighed, before gesturing towards Illyana. "Piotr, this is Illyana. Rasputin," you added, glancing between the two of them. "And this is Piotr Rasputin." 

Illyana looked intrigued as she turned her full attention on Piotr. She moved to stand, saying something in Russian, before Piotr responded. They had a whole conversation before wonder flashed across Piotr's face as he held his hand out for Illyana to shake.  

"Not that this isn't fascinating," Wade started, springing to his feet. He reached out a hand, helping you up off the ground. "But what the fuck is going on here?" 

"It seems we share a sibling," Illyana answered, still watching Piotr in fascination. "A brother named Mikhail." 

"Maybe we were brother and sister in another universe," Piotr speculated with a nod of his head.  

Illyana let slip a soft smile in Piotr's direction before she let it fall away. "We should go back inside. Apocalypse will only grow stronger and I'm sure you're eager to get back to your Logan. Think you can play nice? Just for now?" 

"I'll try," you conceded, shooting Wade a wary look. "But if he pisses me off, I'm going to break his face. Again." 

Wade offered you a fist bump as you trudged back into the house. You knew whatever you were about to face, he would have your back.  

The other Logan had already healed by the time you reconvened with the rest of the group. He was leaning up against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest as he glowered at the others in the room. You had to fight the urge to hit him again, instead sticking to Wade's side next to the doorway in case you wanted to make a strategic retreat.  

Of course, it didn't take long for everything to go pear-shaped.  

It started off civil and quickly teetered into more bickering and yelling.  

"We just need a plan," Cable reiterated for what felt like the fiftieth time. "Why can't we just act like a fucking team instead of a bunch of children?" 

"Because we're not a team," you reminded him. "Some of us shouldn't even be here." 

Wade snorted, before turning his gaze on the other Logan. "You got that right." 

"We got a problem here, bub?"  

"Oh, I've got ninety-nine problems, bitch, and you're every one." 

The other Logan freed his claws with a growl. "Come over here and say that." 

"Oh, I can take you, big guy," Wade promised with a laugh. "But before we get started, let me tell you my safeword." 

"Do you ever just shut the fuck up?" The other Logan snarled, taking a step towards Wade.  

"Not really, no," Wade answered, holding his hand out and curling his fingers in towards his palm, silently beckoning Logan forward.  

"We're not going to get shit done like this," Alex groaned, looking like he was barely keeping himself contained. "My brother has been taken by this Apocalypse fuck and we're getting nowhere. I swear to God, if he dies because we can’t get our shit together, I’m killing every one in this room." 

"We should figure out where Apocalypse is looking for his next Horseman," your Erik volunteered. His jaw was clenched, and you knew he was growing tired of the fighting. He had very little patience for team squabbles and you reckoned it wouldn’t be long until he started showcasing his own power, seeking an end to the arguing. 

"I can go down to Cerebro," Charles volunteered, but from the way he looked at his Erik, you knew he was hesitant to leave him. 

"That's a start," Remy mused from where he was sitting in an armchair near the broken window. "We also need to figure out how this little team of ours is gonna work when half of us wants to kill the other half." 

"I don't remember ever havin' a problem with you, sugar," Rogue pointed out, watching Remy with interest.  

"I'd never have a problem with someone so beautiful," Remy replied with a smirk. He turned his gaze on the others, his eyes landing on Jean and the other Logan. "But this won't work if we don't all play nice now." 

"I'll play nice if Wolvie over there does," Wade promised, nodding at the other Logan.  

"Don't fucking call me that," the other Logan snapped, the fragile peace in the room breaking again.  

You didn't want to listen to another argument, so you slipped out of the room.  

You found yourself wandering until you stopped outside a familiar door. You opened it, taking in the sight of the room before you. It wasn't yours, at least not in this universe, but you still found yourself walking inside as if it still belonged to you.  

You wandered from the bed towards the window. It was still the same view. You weren't sure why you were expecting it to be different, but you found it oddly comforting.  

Here, you could see the trees that outlined the property. The way the sunlight hit them, the branches swaying lazily in the breeze, brought you a measure of peace you hadn’t felt since Logan was taken. It was a sight you had appreciated in your old universe when you just needed time to think. It had offered you solace in your desolation, and while you weren’t so lonely in this universe, you still wanted a moment to yourself.  

It was incredibly short-lived.  

"I thought I'd find you here." 

You closed your eyes, forcing yourself to take a deep breath. You should have known he wouldn't be able to just leave you alone. In the Void, you had dreamt of having a moment like this one. One where you left, and he tracked you down, and you knew that he well and truly cared about you. But everything had changed, and you no longer felt anything for him except for disdain.  

You no longer needed him and you sure as hell didn’t want him here. All you really wanted was for him to go away. 

Since when had he ever given you what you wanted? 

"Get out," you ordered, not bothering to even look at the other Logan. You were trying and failing to grip tightly onto the brief semblance of serenity you had forged for yourself. You didn’t want to allow him to disrupt it, but he had a penchant for fucking things up for you.  

"You know," he started, moving further into the room.  

You groaned, letting your head dop forward until your forehead touched the glass window. “Can’t you just fucking listen to me for once?” 

"The baby wasn't mine,” the other Logan continued, ignoring your words. He didn’t say anything for a moment, letting you absorb the bombshell he dropped. “It was Scott's," he informed you, as if he thought you should give a fuck. As if he thought it changed anything between the two of you. "Jean's still in love with him." 

You laughed, not even able to help it. "I could've told you that if you hadn't dropped me the second she bothered to look at you. How’s it feel, huh? Being second best. Never measuring up to the person she really loves and lying awake at night knowing there’s not a damn thing you can do to make her love you like you love her. Never being good enough. Knowing that when she looks at you, she’s wishing you were him. Bet it fucking sucks, right? Because that’s exactly what you put me through, so I’m only going to ask you this once and I deserve an answer. Why the fuck are you even telling me this?"  

You finally turned to meet his gaze, reading his expression. No matter how much you wished to forget him, you had spent years knowing him. You didn't need to be a telepath to know what he was thinking. "Let me guess," you started, leaning against the wall behind you. "You got everything you ever wanted, paid whatever price it took, except it wasn't exactly like you pictured it. Guess that's why they say be careful what you wish for." 

"I thought she needed me," the other Logan admitted with a scowl. "But she never really did. I only ever wanted to be there for her. I wanted to be what she needed," he added with a rueful grimace. He locked eyes with you, his expression mournful but without a hint of remorse for what he had put you through. "But you, you always needed me. And I didn't appreciate that enough. But I know now. I know what you need and it’s not with him. You should come back, and I'll be better this time."  

You laughed again, this time nowhere near as amused. "You're fucking crazy, you know that? It's not my fucking fault that you fucked it all up between us. But you know what? You did me a fucking favor," you spat, advancing on him. "Because once I get Logan back, my Logan, and you fuck back off to your universe, I want nothing to do with you. You can fuck off and die for all I care, because I found someone who actually loves me and would never abandon me." 

The other Logan didn't say anything for one beat of your heart and then the next before he shook his head. "Well, he's not here now, is he?" 

"That was the wrong thing to say," you warned him before drawing your fist back and punching him again without the aid of your forcefield. Pain radiated up your arm, but it almost felt good. The blood running from the other Logan's nose felt even better.  

You decided to hit him again and again before using a forcefield to push him to the floor. You kept him there, not wanting him to move until you said what you hoped would be your final words to him.  

“I don’t need you. I don’t love you. Not anymore and never again, because I found someone, a whole family,” you amended, knowing you couldn’t discount just how much everyone in this universe truly meant to you. “So, listen to me when I tell you that I’m not going back. I never am. So, you better accept the reality you brought on yourself real fuckin’ fast, because I will never go back to you. Never,” you stressed, waiting for the hint of begrudging acceptance in his expression before you let your forcefield go. “You can do one good thing for me, just the one,” you allowed, taking a step away from him. “You can help me get my Logan back, but then once that’s done, I want you to get the fuck out of here. I’m never going back there to be with you and I sure as hell don’t warrant being your fallback plan. I don’t care if you go back to Jean and I don’t care if you leave the X-Men and wander off into the wilderness to find yourself. As long as you go back, then I don’t care. That’s all I want. That’s all I’ll ever need from you again. You got that?” 

 The other Logan briefly rolled his eyes, but his head dipped in a tiny nod of understanding. You knew only time would tell if your words had actually hit home, but you couldn’t keep trying to get it through his thick skull that you were well and truly off the market.  

You had more important things to worry about.  

"I came to check on you, but you seem to have yourself well in hand," Remy interrupted from the doorway. "C'mon, chérie," he prompted, beckoning you towards him. "Last thing you need is a broken hand along with broken ribs." 

You glanced down at your hand, the knuckles split and bleeding. When you flexed your fingers, you could feel a bone-deep ache work its way up your arm. “Yeah,” you sighed, “I’m done here.” 

Remy chuckled, glancing down at the other Logan. “Oh, I can see that.” 

You shot the other Logan a glare on your way past him, shaking out your hand. "I still don't trust you," you informed Remy as you followed him out of the room.  

"I wouldn't expect you to," he allowed with a smile. “But I supposed between me and your friend in there, I’m the better option. Did you enjoy your present?” 

You felt a reluctant smile tug at your lips as you thought about your getaway with Logan. You really didn’t trust Remy, not after everything that happened with Sinister, but you got the hint he wanted to try to make amends. “I did,” you confirmed with a nod of your head. “Didn’t think you and Wade would conspire like that.” 

“I owed you and le petit rouge wanted to get you something nice. It was really nothing,” he deflected with a shrug of his shoulders. 

“Well, thanks,” you told him, not wanting it to go unsaid between the two of you. “Keep that coming and maybe I’ll even start to like you.” 

Remy shot you a pleased grin over his shoulder. “Well, how can I resist a temptation like that?” 

You followed Remy down one hallway and then another, realizing he was starting to take you towards Cerebro. You were brought up short by Rogue leaning against the wall, obviously waiting for the two of you.  

"Wondered when we'd run into each other again," Remy mused, joining Rogue with a satisfied smirk.  

"Funny, I was wonderin' the same thing," she told him, matching his grin.  

Remy swayed forward just the tiniest bit, as if drawn in by Rogue, and you did not want to be the one to interrupt whatever the fuck they had going on. You clapped a hand to Remy's shoulder, waving off his questioning look, as you passed the pair.  

You made your way down to Cerebro, glad that you didn't run into anyone else on the way there. You got there in time to see Charles with the helmet on his head, his eyes closed as he concentrated. Piotr was standing right behind Charles, with your Erik not far behind. He was still watching over Charles, even if this wasn't his husband, as if he wanted to protect any Charles he came across.  

"What's going on?" You asked Wade, who was standing back near the doorway.  

"Ol' Chuck over there thinks he knows where Apocalypse might be holing up with his Horseman." Wade glanced at you, his tone changing to concern. "You alright there, baby bird? You're looking a little freaked out." 

"I had a talk with the other Logan," you confessed, not able to stop the frown from forming on your face. You had spent many days and nights in your old universe wishing that the other Logan would see sense and come back to you. Now, that you were finally happy, here he was making good on that wish. It just made you hate him even more.  

"Oh? How'd that go? You happen to knock him out again? I'm sad I missed the show." 

"No," you answered, "although, I did hit him again. A few times,” you confessed with an embarrassed wince. You didn’t like letting your anger get the best of you, but you felt like it was warranted for this situation. “He wanted me to go back with him, because Jean's still obsessed with Scott. The baby's Scott's by the way." 

"God," Wade groaned, stomping his foot on the floor with a huff. "I miss all the good drama, I swear. Your life is angstier than a season of Degrassi. It really goes there, huh?" 

"I have no idea what you’re talking about,” you told him, letting your arm brush against his in apology. “But I do know that I need Logan back," you sighed. "At least Laura doesn't have to deal with this bullshit. I don't want her seeing him like that.” 

"Like what?"  

"He was just...completely blank,” you settled on with a frown. “He didn't even recognize me. It was like all that we had been through was just wiped away with one touch from Apocalypse. And he's going to try to kill us, because that’s what Apocalypse will want, and I don't want Laura fighting him. She doesn't deserve to have to go through that." 

"And you do?" Wade argued, his tone disapproving. "You love him. You shouldn't have to fight him either. Not when he's going to be trying to kill all of us. I can take on the angry bear just fine all by myself, so maybe you should just wait here. Where it’s safe," he tacked on, letting you know what he was really worried about. 

"Like that'll happen," you dismissed with a humorless laugh. "I have to be there, Wade. I can’t just leave him there. Even if something goes wrong, because it will, I have to be there for him." 

Wade heaved a heavy sigh before nodding his head. "Yeah, I was afraid you were gonna say that."  

You gifted him with a sad smile before swaying into his side, letting him put an arm around your shoulders.  

"Then let's fucking go," you decided, watching Charles take off Cerebro's helmet and give a satisfied nod to Erik and Piotr.  

"Let's fucking go," Wade agreed with a nod of his head.  

Wanda and Pietro weren’t thrilled they had to stay behind with Charles and their father. Your Erik considered the two with a wistful expression before shifting his gaze towards Charles and the other Erik.  

“I’ll bring Lorna back,” your Erik promised with a solemn expression. “I’ll do whatever it takes to protect her. I know how precious your loved ones are to you,” he continued, meeting Charles’ eyes.  

There was a long, drawn-out moment when it was clear that Erik and Charles were having a conversation only they could hear. Charles ducked his head, a blush dusting his cheeks, and you marveled at the sight of Charles acting shy. You had only ever really known Charles as the steadfast headmaster, Professor X, mentor and advisor. But you were starting to realize there was a whole lot more to Charles than you had ever known, and you couldn’t help but feel curious about what his past held.  

The other Erik, where he was still lying injured on the couch, looked like he was seconds away from getting up to fight your Erik. He was jealous, you realized with a grin, and you wondered if it was part of a plot to get the Erik and Charles of this universe together too.  

From the smug expression on your Erik’s face and the challenging eyebrow he arched at the injured Erik, you knew you were right.  

“Are you sure we can’t go?” Pietro checked, speeding from one end of the room to the other. “I’m fast. You might need me.” 

“And I can fight too,” Wanda insisted, turning a frustrated look in your direction.  

“I’m afraid it’s best if you stay here,” Charles remarked, regaining his composure. “If Apocalypse has your sister, then there’s every reason to believe he’ll use her against you.” 

Pietro was practically pouting at being left out and Wade leaned over towards you.  

“Sequel material,” he whispered, ignoring your questioning look.  

Once the team or whatever the hell you all were assembled, it didn’t take long to get everyone on the X-Jet. Cable was piloting, ignoring Piotr’s attempt to take the role for himself, and promised that it wouldn’t be long until you arrived.   

You were used to being on the X-Jet, but you didn't know how to handle the awkward tension that threatened to suffocate you. The other Logan and Jean were on the opposite side of the jet from you, and while you did your best to ignore them, you could still feel the weight of their stares.  

"You alright there?" Alex asked, addressing you. He had chosen the seat on your right, spending the ride so far with an irritated expression and flexing his hands, as if he was gearing up to use his power.  

"Yeah," you lied with a nod of your head. "Worried about Logan. You?" 

"Same," he dutifully lied as well. "Worried about my brother. I'm worried about what this Apocalypse fuck might be doing to him. Worried about his girlfriend too. Scotty sure loves her," he told you. “It’d destroy him if anything happened to her.” 

"He'll be okay," you tried to promise, even though you weren't entirely sure. All you could think about was Scott's body cradled by a grieving Jean. Scott might not have been your favorite person on the team, but he had been your leader. He made the tough calls and he kept the team together when you all threatened to crumble. Without him, everything fell apart.  

You found yourself meeting Jean's gaze, knowing she could read what was on your mind. It was likely the only time you would ever feel sympathy for her, because while you had gotten your second chance with the love of your life, she never would.  

"Five minutes," Cable called from the front of the jet. "Get ready!" 

"So, we'll get Logan back and then you and him and the little munchkin can ride happily off into the sunset," Wade started, dropping down into the seat on your other side. "Then you and Logan and Vanessa and me can have a double wedding and a shared honeymoon and our rugrats will be friends." 

You couldn't help the grin that tugged at your lips. Wade always knew what to say to make you feel better.  

"Munchkin?" The other Logan repeated with a scowl. "What the hell are you talking about?" 

"Laura," you supplied, feeling just a bit of a thrill at how vindictive your next words would feel. "My daughter. With my Logan." 

The other Logan's face fell at your words and Wade snickered, turning to hide his face in your shoulder.  

"Oh, you are evil," he approved with a kiss to your cheek. "Baby bird's got claws." 

You shook your head, knocking your head gently into Wade's. "You are so weird," you breathed, tone affectionate.  

"You know it," Wade pointed out, fully sitting up in his seat once he felt the jet begin to descend. "It's showtime," he muttered, shooting you one more searching look before he was up and checking over his holstered weapons.  

You weren't really sure what you were expecting once the jet landed. You thought you would find a scene of total chaos. Hollowed-out buildings and corpses littering the ground. But all you saw when you made it off the walkway leading out of the X-Jet was Apocalypse waiting in the middle of an abandoned street.  

"Did you think you could sneak up on me?" Apocalypse wondered, watching as your makeshift team filed out onto the street. "Nothing will stop me." 

"Oh my God," Wade breathed as he took a step towards Apocalypse. "I didn’t know it was you! I loved you in Star Wars." 

Apocalypse considered Wade with a thoughtful glance before he turned his attention on Jean. "Don't I already have one of you? I admit, you would make a formidable Horseman, but I already have my team. Besides, it was never my intention to take your variant or her companion. It seems as if that was plot devised by Sinister. Now, we might never know what he had planned for them. Pity," he said, finally turning his gaze on you.  

You couldn't help but wonder if this had somehow been part of Nathaniel's plan all along. Maybe he knew if he was going to die, then he could still fuck everyone over just one last time.  

"Scott," Alex muttered, his attention caught by something just beyond Apocalypse.  

It was Scott and Jean. Both had been knocked unconscious and were lying on the sidewalk. You couldn't even tell if they were breathing, because they were too far away, but you sure as hell knew how to spot a trap that obvious. 

"Alex, don't," you warned when you noticed Alex tense up, coiled to attack. 

"You're gonna regret taking my brother," Alex told Apocalypse, ignoring you, as he geared up for his attack. He shot one plasma burst at Apocalypse, but Apocalypse seemed to anticipate the move and blocked it with a forcefield.  

"And you will regret fighting me," Apocalypse claimed with a satisfied smile.  

You nearly didn't see him, because you were so focused on Apocalypse. But you sure as hell noticed his power, an intense heat that only grew stronger. There was a burst of light before you finally saw him. You had no idea who he was, but he practically glowed, radiating a light so strong you nearly had to look away. He held up his hand, aimed at Alex, and you reacted instinctively.  

"Remy," you called, an idea coming to you. You had no idea if it would work, but you had to at least try. It might be the only way to save Alex's life. You met his gaze, nodding towards where you were forming a forcefield around the guy preparing to kill Alex. "Make it go boom," you commanded, catching his excited grin before you focused on your forcefield. 

The guy, whoever he was, was extremely powerful. You could feel the force of his power slamming against your forcefield, and you had to grit your teeth, feeling like you were barely holding on. Remy worked quick as he charged one of his cards and threw it at your forcefield.  

You watched it land, relief flooding you when you noticed the pink glow of Remy's power engulf it. Your heart was beating fast in your chest and you had to pour everything you had into your forcefield. When Remy's charge activated, you only had a moment to prepare before the explosion happened.  

The force of it was focused inward on the stranger caught in your trap. There was blood coating the sides of your forcefield, and you were hesitant to drop it, because he had been so incredibly powerful. You weren't even sure if he was dead but you waited until you felt the remnants of his power slip away from your defenses.  

"You dare to take Sunfire from me? My Famine?" Apocalypse questioned, barely concealed fury in his voice. "My other Horsemen won't fall so easy," he promised and then you heard the roar.  

It wasn't Logan. This was deeper, louder, and unfathomably terrifying.  

"Oh, fuck! Fuckety, fuckety, fuck, fuck!" Wade yelled, before pointing at something just behind you. "The Hulk is in this?! Ah fuck, not again," Wade groaned, sounding resigned. 

"Shit," you breathed just before a giant green hand entered your field of vision and swatted Wade away like he was a fly.  

You took off running, all hell breaking loose as you caught sight of a girl with dark green hair wielding a power that reminded you a lot of Erik's. Between her and the Hulk, they were making quick work of keeping the team busy and their focus off Apocalypse.  

You searched the chaos unfolding before you and finally spotted your Logan. There was a red cloth wrapped around most of his face, but his claws gave away his identity. He was fighting the other Logan, both throwing themselves into the fight with a ferocity that terrified you.  

Jean had turned her attention on Apocalypse while Alex helped her with his plasma blasts. They were both being careful not to hit the other Jean and Scott and you knew both were fighting to ensure that Scott survived. Erik, Magik, and Rogue were fighting Lorna and Piotr, Remy, Wade, and Cable were all taking on the Hulk.  

You wanted to run to Logan and try to get him to remember. You wondered if you could break him of Apocalypse's spell, but you weren't even sure if it was possible. You had decided to try something, anything to get through to Logan, when you found yourself in the middle of a different fight.  

The Hulk let out another roar before pounding his fist on the ground, sending the others around him flying back with the impact. You weren't sure how, but you managed to snag his attention, and he advanced on you.  

"Y/N, run!" Wade yelled, but you were eager to get the entire fight finished so you could get Logan back. You formed a forcefield around Hulk, one of the biggest you had ever created. You could feel the stretch of the field as it entrapped him, and you were worried that it would simply end up snapping. He brought a fist up to pound on the side of the forcefield and you could feel it rattle you, practically shaking you with its force.  

The Hulk wouldn't die easy, but maybe if you could keep him contained for long enough, then the fight with Apocalypse could be won. All you had to do was subdue him and wait for Apocalypse to fall. 

In theory, it was a decent plan. In execution? You should have never taken your focus off of Logan.  

You were so focused on keeping the Hulk in your forcefield that when someone stepped in front of you, you didn't even register the threat at first. You only had a moment before you pulled in a breath and felt it cut off with a wheeze, agony blooming quick through your chest. Your forcefield dropped as you stared up into Logan's eyes, shock and fear warring within you.  

"Logan," you gasped, reaching up to grasp his wrist. Both sets of his claws were buried in your sides and you could feel them inch deeper with every attempted breath. You felt like you couldn't focus on one thought, but all you could see was the man you loved.  

"You're hurting me," you managed to choke out, the taste of blood slipping into your mouth. You coughed, crying out when that only made the pain worse. Red was spreading out across your shirt and soon enough you would be soaked with your own blood. You could hear Wade screaming your name and Hulk was barreling towards Cable and Logan didn't even realize he was killing you. All you could think was that once he regained control of his own mind, this would kill him.  

"It's okay," you got out on a shudder. You stopped gripping his wrist and instead brought your hands up to cup his face. It only brought you more pain, your full weight resting on his claws, but you knew a losing battle when you were faced with one. At least you could spend your final moments doing something you truly wanted to do. "You have to forgive yourself, alright? Because I forgive you." You were rapidly losing vision, the picture before you fading into a disorienting shade of grey before color flooded back in only to be snatched away again. "I love you," you whispered, blood starting to leak from the corner of your mouth. "I love you, Logan," you stressed before letting yourself fall forward just enough to brush a kiss against his lips.  

He pushed you back, adamantium slicing you deeper, and you cried out in agony.  

Recognition suddenly flooded Logan's eyes and you dropped to the ground when he quickly pulled his claws from you. "Oh God," he breathed, horror and guilt clouding his expression. "Y/N, I--" he only managed before Piotr tackled him to the ground.  

Logan was quick to throw him off before he was back at your side. He pressed a gentle hand to your side, before shaking his head. "Baby, I don't know what to do."  

Logan wasn't usually one for pet names, but he only brought them out for certain situations. You knew he must have really been scared, but you were having a hard time feeling anything at all. "It's okay," you told him just as Wade dropped to his knees at your other side. "It wasn't you. It wasn’t you," you assured him when he looked like he wanted to protest. 

"I wasn't even aware of what I was doing. It’s like he pulled a mask down over my face and I couldn’t see past it. He had me doing so much fucked up shit for him and I didn't even blink. And he wanted me to kill you, and I was gonna, but then I just couldn't." There were tears in Logan's eyes and he looked like he wanted to scoop you up into his arms, but he was too worried it would only hurt you more. "I don't even know how I broke out of it. God, I wish I'd done it sooner." Logan's hands were trembling as he cupped your face, managing to press a chaste kiss to your lips.  

"I know what pulled you out if," Wade chimed in, reaching out to grab your hand, despite Logan's snarl in his direction. "Wuv," he answered, "Twue wuv. God, where's Fred Savage when you need him?" 

You could feel your eyelids growing heavier and you were having trouble keeping your eyes open. "I just need to sleep," you mumbled, already feeling yourself begin to slip away. “Just let me rest my eyes.” 

"Wade," Logan said, looking to him in panic. "What do we do? I don’t know what to do here." 

Wade was silent for long enough that you started to realize you must be well and truly fucked. "I'll watch over her," Wade finally volunteered before nodding at the fight that had been carrying on around you. "And you go help them finish that fucker off for good." 

You managed to turn your head to the side to see Jean along with Erik and Illyana fighting Apocalypse. Logan gave a firm nod of his head before he pressed a kiss to your forehead. "I'm gonna make this right, sweetheart, okay? And you just hold on for me. You hold on and I’ll be back for you," he promised you, before you watched resolve fall over him.  

He turned away from you, letting loose a low growl, before he sprinted towards Apocalypse. You started losing moments in bits and pieces. Wade was gripping your hand so tight and you didn't have the heart to tell him you couldn't even feel it. The other Logan was getting thrown around by the Hulk while Piotr landed hits where he could and Remy distracted him with explosions. Alex was hovering over his brother, willing him to wake up. Rogue was pressing an uncovered hand to Lorna's neck, effectively draining her and knocking her out. Rogue then turned her attention towards Hulk, using Lorna’s stolen power to help Remy. 

And Logan, who was nearly feral in his rage, was bringing his claws relentlessly into Apocalypse's neck. Apocalypse had been weakened from the onslaught of Jean's full power combined with the others. Erik had taken a metal beam and impaled Apocalypse with it, nearly pinning him to the ground. Magik had managed to hit Apocalypse over and over again with her sword, leaving Apocalypse hurt enough that when Logan took one last swipe with his claws, letting out a howl of grief and fury, Apocalypse's head rolled back and fell to the ground.  

You managed to hold on long enough to see Logan turning to look for you, unhinged and wild, the brute Erik had always made him out to be. But the second he met your eyes, his expression softened and the love you had been missing flooded back onto his face.  

It was the last thing you saw before unconsciousness finally rushed in to carry you away.  

You woke to a steady beeping noise and the feeling of being suffocated. You opened your eyes, blinded by a bright white light, before you closed them again. You were sore and your mouth felt like it was full of cotton and you didn't remember how you got here.  

"On your left," Wade called, gaining your attention.  

You managed to open your eyes again, seeing Wade still outfitted in his full bloodied Deadpool getup sitting in the chair at your side.  

He let out a pleased snort and turned his full focus on you, carelessly throwing away the People magazine in his hand to the side.  

"I've always wanted to say that in this kind of situation, but no one ever really wants me at their bedside when they wake up. Can’t imagine why," he mused with a wistful sigh. 

You glanced from Wade to Laura sleeping on the couch against the wall. Something wasn’t quite right, you realized through the haze of painkillers. It took you entirely too long to figure out that Logan wasn't in the room.  

"You missed a lot while you were out," Wade continued, leaning forward in his chair to consider you. "But I guess several hours of life-saving surgery and numerous blood transfusions will take a lot out of someone. So, let me catch you up. The people your friend Magik brought here have all fucked back off to their universe. That other Logan said it was what you wanted, so he left with his pretend baby mama. Had a feeling there was some trouble in paradise for that particular couple, especially when Logan almost killed that other douchenozzle when he tried to get all weepy over you. Rogue and Gambit seem to have something going on now. You think correspondence across the multiverse is hard? Because they've got some shit to figure out. And Logan? Well, he's being a broody little bitch who thinks you don't love him anymore because he almost killed you."  

You weren't sure what to say, mind overloaded from information. You were relieved the other Logan and Jean were gone, but you were a bit sad you didn’t get to tell Illyana or your Erik goodbye. You were pretty sure they would forgive you, though, considering the near-death experience.  

"Where is he?" You croaked, wincing when you noticed how your throat felt like it had been scraped raw. 

"They only took out the breathing tube a little while ago,” Wade informed you. “And that idiot is somewhere around here," Wade answered, shrugging his shoulders. "He hasn't left the hospital since they brought you in, but he's also been reluctant to show his face around here. It’s not like his claws managed to snag on anything vital. That’s the only reason you’re alive, you know that? I’ve got a theory, though. I think the angry bear, despite how much he claims he can’t remember being a puppet, knew it was you he was trying to kill. I think he did what he could not to hurt you. If it was anyone else, they would’ve been dead long before they could try to kiss him."  

You knew Logan would never truly leave you, but he wasn’t going to concede easily. He was probably spending his time thinking he was a danger to you and convincing himself that it was best if he loved you from afar. He was likely already thinking of moving into an apartment across the hall and only seeing you when you needed help. 

You couldn’t have that. Not after everything fighting for him for so long. You needed Logan all the time and you would be damned if you let him slip away from you.  

It didn't take you long to make up your mind.  

"I need a favor," you told Wade, already struggling to sit up.  

Wade reached out, placing a hand on your lower back to help you. "I thought you'd see things my way." 

You rolled your eyes, an indescribable fondness welling within you for Wade. "I need a distraction so I can get out of here." 

"Leave it to us," Laura cut in, moving to get off the couch. You didn’t even notice her wake up. "And if you ever go off into a fight without me again, I'll kill you myself next time." 

"No, you won't," you pointed out, slowly raising your arms to beckon her into an embrace.  

Laura huffed out a laugh into your shoulder, her arms cautiously coming up to wrap around you. "He's just worried, you know. He thinks it's all his fault." 

"And I'll just have to convince him it's not," you easily replied, as if dealing with a stubborn Logan was ever easy.  

"Good," Laura responded with a smile.  

You held her by the shoulders, being careful not to aggravate your injuries, and simply took her in for a moment. You hadn't been lying when you told the other Logan Laura was your daughter. It might not have been through any conventional means, but she sure as hell was your kid now. And you were so fiercely proud of her and you loved her so much that just looking at her felt like you were lighting up inside.  

"Love you, kid," you told her, pouring in all your affection for her into the words.  

"I'm not a kid," Laura refuted with a shake of her head, but the smile on her face returned the love you felt for her.  

"Yeah, yeah, you're a grown teenager," Wade dismissed with a wave of his hand. "You going to get the angry bear or not, baby bird? Because clock’s ticking and the longer you let him brood, the longer it’ll take to pull him out of it." 

"Yeah," you allowed with a nod of your head, turning a grin on Wade. He was your best friend and so much more to you. He was your family, your confidant, your protector, and your savior. You figured as long as you had Wade, Laura, and Logan, you would always be home. Now, you had two of them, so you just had to go track down the last one to make the set complete.  

Wade clapped his hands together, shooting an expectant look at Laura. "Then let's get ready to cause one hell of a distraction, munchkin." 

Wade's idea of a distraction entailed flirting with a nurse while Laura set a fire in the break room. As the fire alarm rang, you slipped out of your room once you had managed to get dressed in the clothes Laura had left for you. Your sides ached and you felt like you couldn't pull in a full breath, but you reasoned it was a lot preferable to the death you had been prepared to endure.  

It didn't take you long to find him. Logan might have thought he was hiding, but a waiting room just down the hall wasn't exactly subtle. The fire alarm had drawn enough attention that the room was empty save for him.  

"Hey," you whispered, watching him from the doorway.  

He was leaning forward in his seat, his elbows on his knees and hands hanging in front of him. His head was bowed, and it took him a few seconds after you spoke to finally look at you.  

"You shouldn't be out here," he protested, making to get up.  

You shook your head, crossing the room until you could cautiously lower yourself into the seat next to him. He gave you an exasperated sigh, shaking his head.  

"I take it the fire alarm was Wade? Should've known you'd be stubborn about it," he grumbled. 

"About what? About you trying to keep your distance because you think you're to blame?" 

"I am to blame," Logan snarled, his hands shaking in front of him. Logan clasped them together tightly enough that he was starting to draw blood and you could see the way his shoulders tensed. You knew he wasn't angry with you, his fury focused on himself, but you didn’t want him to hurt himself over something completely out of his control. "I'm the one who hurt you. It was my claws that did the damage." 

"No, Logan," you argued, wanting so badly to reach out, but not sure if you were welcome to touch him. "It wasn't you. It was all Apocalypse. I know you would never hurt me. Not willingly," you amended when he shot you a doubtful look. "The second you snapped out of it, you tried to take care of me. That wasn't you, Logan, and I would never hold that against you." 

"You should," he muttered, turning his head away to stare down at his hands.  

"The only reason you went with Apocalypse was to save me," you reminded him. "If I had been stronger, if I hadn't been so distracted--" 

"Don’t do that," Logan denied, turning an incredulous stare on you. "You're one of the strongest people I've ever met. The shit you go through and you're still able to pull yourself back up and keep fighting. You've never surrendered to it the way most people would have." 

"I did once," you admitted with a grimace. "In Nathaniel's world that he built for me. But that's because I lost you and Laura and Wade. I can't do any of this without you." You knew you had a darkness in you, fed by years of pain and abandonment. But your family, especially Logan, was the light that broke through it. As long as you had them, you would never lose your way, because they would be there to guide you home.  

"That wasn't real," Logan pointed out. "There's no way in hell I'd ever leave you like that." 

"Yeah? You seem to be trying your best to right now. Or else what are you doing in this fucking waiting room and not with me where I need you?" 

Logan tried to look away, but you took your chance and tucked your fingers under his chin, pulling his gaze back to you.  

"There's nowhere you can go that I won't chase you down. You did it for me with Sinister and I did it for you with Apocalypse. If I have to, I will spend the rest of my life telling you that what happened to me wasn't your fault, because I love, you idiot. I love you more than anything and there's no me without you, don't you get that? It's always been you. It's always going to be you." 

Logan pulled in a shaky breath. Understanding was beginning to dawn on his face and you decided to go for broke.  

"Take me home, Logan," you pleaded, pulling your touch away from him. “Take me back to our home.”  

Astonishment flashed across his face. "You shouldn't want to go anywhere with me." 

You reached out to grab his hand, pulling it towards you. You placed a kiss to his knuckles, where his claws would spring free in heat of battle. You heard Logan's breath hitch, terrified, as a guarded hope overwrote his expression.  

 “I know what I want and it’s always going to be you.” You didn’t know how to tell Logan that you wanted everything with him. The good and the bad and the deadly and the fun. You wanted to build a home with him and Laura. You wanted to coerce Laura to take college classes after completing her GED and you wanted to watch her grow up without having to worry about her survival at every turn. You wanted to have Vanessa and Wade over for dinner and you wanted to fill the spaces of your home with love and laughter and family and friendship. You wanted to end each day with Logan only to begin the next one with him as well. You only wanted what you had been fighting for all along. 

Logan, at your side, and forever yours.   

"Logan Howlett, I will gladly spend the rest of my life with you. No matter how short or how long that might be for me. I want you to occupy all the rest of my moments. You’re it for me and the rest of my life is yours if you’ll have it," you told him, letting your fingers lace through his so you could hold on tight to his hand. You could feel your pulse fluttering and your heart pick up its beat, because while you were confident that Logan loved you with the same intensity you felt, you knew he had a self-sacrificing streak a mile wide. Logan would run if he thought it would save you, but you would never let him slip right out of your hold again.  

After what felt like an eternity, Logan snorted, the sound half-amused and wholly confused. "You proposing or something?" There was a brief flare of hope in his eyes, but you knew he assumed you were joking.  

"Yeah," you replied, dead serious. "I'd get down on one knee, but you'd just have to help me back up off the floor, and I can't spare that kind of dignity right now. Not until I've got an answer." 

Logan watched you for another long moment, as if trying to assess the sincerity of your words. Finally, he squeezed your hand, nodding his head in answer. "Alright, then," he conceded with a barely-there smile that betrayed just how pleased he was feeling. "Let's get married." 

You tugged Logan into a kiss, savoring the reminder of his taste and touch, when you were startled by the sound of someone clapping. Logan groaned, resting his forehead against yours, and met your eyes.  

"Think we can disinvite Wade from the wedding?" 

"You kidding? You can't leave me without a maid of honor." 

You looked over to see Laura and Wade watching the pair of you from the doorway. It looked like Laura had managed to singe the ends of her hair with her distraction.  

“You wanna celebrate with us or what?” You asked, already wondering how soon you could be released from the hospital so you could go home with your favorite people.  

You met Logan’s gaze and from the warm smile on his face, you knew he was thinking the same thing. 

Laura threw herself at the pair of you as Wade kept clapping. He heaved a sigh, placing a hand to his chest. "God, I love a happy ending."  Author's Note: This has been such a wild ride and I can't thank y'all enough for going on it with me. There will (hopefully) be a sequel eventually. I want to bring in Venom along with bringing back Peter Parker, Wanda and Pietro, and probably Rogue and Magik. Maybe even Bucky. My next fic will be my Wade/Reader/Logan one, though, which also involves some past Johnny Storm/Reader. If you want to be tagged in the new fic, just let me know!

Taglist: @wonderfrost @mrsyixingunicorn10 @blackbleedingrose @arrozyfrijoles23 @elianamarie-blog

@sarahskywalker-amidala @whiskytoast @shizzybarnaclee @zbeez-outlet @halepack2011

@facelessfionna @i-left-my-cat-on-the-stove @whyam1heree @serendippindots @janilovecookies

@lollipopsandstuff @4ria790 @jtthompson @id-rather-be-in-middle-earth @the-gentle-spirit

@hazel2928 @gothicknightz @mkay33 @bibblesdiscordkitten @albionfay

@songwizard @kailera @zeeader @amandarobertsboyce @shilohh28

@astudyoftimeywimeystuff @whatthefawk-isthis @loonalockley @newromantics98 @cherrypieyourface

@gigabitemyass @yyhdl @lunaticgurly @starbuni @quinnlyyy

@i-wear-wet-socks313 @itsspiderluv @slightlymediocree @ayamenimthiriel

[grandwitchbird]

MASSIVE spoilers for Clair Obscur. Do not read this if you haven’t played the game.

Musings mostly. Under a cut for your safety.

Through the Looking Glass: False protagonists, earning your tragedy, and teenage heroines.

Clair Obscur begins by tricking you. This is good storytelling. All stories are lies of course, and the really good ones are the best at lying. They get you on their side. They earn the trick. And usually they manage to say something true in the process.

Gustave is not a protagonist let alone the protagonist of Clair Obscur. This is pretty obvious to anyone who’s played a lot of jrpgs (that tiny ability tree) and certainly to anyone versed in narrative strategy. Everything we know about him, we learn from another character, making him feel likable but a bit hollow. Of course, this also helps with the trick. If you’ve played jrpgs, you’re quite used to blank slate protagonists designed to enable projection and reflection. But here it’s a straightforward false protagonist. Gustave dies at the end of the first act. He dies protecting the heroine, Maelle. He dies so that the main protagonist of the game–Verso–can step into his rightful place. He dies as a reference to Aerith’s sacrifice. He dies to set up several very necessary thematic dominos. It’s a wonderful trick.

Those who know not, that they are not.

All of this hinges on Gustave’s relative blankness. If you’re not especially susceptible to projecting onto characters, this moment won’t have much emotional impact, and the mounting dramatic stakes will contrast nicely. If you are susceptible, you’re now primed for the increasing tragedy of the story. Regardless, your time with Gustave and his relative blankness has set up everything that matters in Clair Obscur’s story. Gustave doesn’t know he isn’t ‘real’. Neither do we, even as we start to catch onto the trick. We’re too invested in the struggle he represents. He’s fighting for a fictional tomorrow for people who only ever existed in the mind of a child and his grieving family. You too can take up that fight. You can step into Maelle’s denial and create a doomed fantasy. And the real gift of this game is that you’ll want to. You’ll want the bad ending. It will rip your heart out to make Alice leave wonderland. You’ll have to kill your real protagonist to do it. You’ll have to hurt the heroine. You’ll have to give up the dream of ever seeing these beautiful fantasies again.

Tomorrow comes. For those who come after.

Gustave is the map to what’s ultimately asked of the player, a clever and twisted use of the tendency to self insert in a game that’s treading very familiar jrpg ground. Verso, in contrast, is equally unreal yet a true protagonist. A reflection that’s become self aware and self contained. He’s more demanding as a character, resisting projection and pushing our perspective into his own. Importantly, he knows he’s in a story, so he can take control. Which is why he can bring about a good ending. The end of the cycle.

You can of course refuse. Specifically, the heroine herself will refuse the call to live. To step outside her role as heroine in a fictional world. She’ll lose herself in her reflection. And you’ll want to do it. You’ll want to force the last piece of a dead man’s soul to continue endlessly creating a false version of himself to suffer under the denial of our heroine. You’ll want to bring Gustave back for her. Maybe for you as well. But it’s cruel. The refusal here isn’t just immaturity. It’s pathological. It’s destructive. It’s hollow. And you’ll feel it. In Verso’s ominous recital. In Maelle’s regret. Alice needs to go back through the looking glass in the end. Refusal is something worse than death.

[cometomecosette]

Standout moments from "Les Mis" recordings, 1993-'96

My Les Mis watch- and listen-through has reached the mid '90s. Once again, I'm citing the moments both from complete video and audio bootlegs and from official cast recordings that stand out the most for me. Again, thanks to @professorspork with her Wicked Punctum Project for inspiring me.

1993 South Korean proshot video

(unknown cast)

Valjean's death tableau from the novel recreated onstage.

Like the original Israeli and Hungarian productions, the original South Korean production of Les Mis was non-replica, and heavily cut too. But some of its inventive staging choices are worth noticing. This is one of the smaller ones, but it stands out the most to me. In the final scene, Marius is much more anguished than usual as he begs Valjean’s forgiveness and recounts how he saved him, fairly breaking down in remorse as he kneels by the dying man’s side. Meanwhile, Cosette is already kneeling at her father’s other side, and Valjean comforts them both. The result is a near-perfect recreation of the way Hugo describes Valjean’s last moments, with Marius and Cosette kneeling in tears on either side of him and holding his hands. A tableau that was one of the novel’s iconic images in its day, which inspired many 19th century illustrators to draw it, but which isn’t featured in most productions of the musical.

Honorable Mentions:

*In “Who Am I?” the courtroom appears behind Valjean from the beginning of the song’s main verses. As Valjean sings, we see a pantomime of Javert delivering his testimony, Champmathieu pleading in vain, and the judges listening impassively, in front of a red curtain that adds a hellish ambience.

*In the “Waltz of Treachery,” when the Thénardiers are pretending to fawn over little Cosette, Mme. Thénardier gives her Éponine’s doll. Cosette thinks the doll is really hers to keep and cradles it adoringly, but just before she leaves with Valjean, Mme. T. heartlessly snatches it back from her. This makes it all the sweeter when Valjean gives her a real gift (an anachronistic teddy bear instead of a doll, but whatever) a few moments later.

*In “Look Down,” Éponine works as a flower girl, like an even poorer and grubbier Eliza Doolittle. When Valjean and Cosette enter, she tries to sell them a flower, and in doing so, she glimpses Cosette’s face and recognizes her from their childhood.

*Javert wears a fake beard to the barricade, which Gavroche rips off during “Little People.” Really.

*During the wedding, Cosette is with Marius and the Thénardiers during their interaction, and Mme. Thénardier feigns excessive friendliness to her. Thus, she gets a shocking reminder of her childhood trauma, she hears the whole revelation of how Valjean saved Marius (although Marius still explains it to her in the next scene – presumably because she didn’t know that “Jean Valjean” was her father), and since Marius’s lines about Éponine are uncut, she’s visibly shaken to hear of Éponine’s death too.

1994 Japanese Red Cast Recording

Takeshi Kaga (Jean Valjean), Kunio Murai (Javert), Yuhko Ema (Fantine), Takashi Sasano (Thénardier), Rika Sugimura (Mme. Thénardier), Kaho Shimada (Éponine), Kazutaka Ishii (Marius), Akira Tomemori (Enjolras), Yuhko Miyamoto (Cosette)

Kaho Shimada’s “Attack on Rue Plumet.”

Of the six Japanese cast recordings of Les Mis, this one seems to be the only one easy to obtain in the US, and it features Kaho Shimada reprising her role as Éponine from the original 1987 Tokyo cast and from the Complete Symphonic Recording. As a seasoned performer in the role, and this time singing in her native Japanese, she brings a whole new level of passion and vividness to her performance on this recording, especially in “Attack on Rue Plumet.” Her (Japanese equivalent of) “I’m gonna scream, I’m gonna warn them here!” sounds frantic and feral, as does her half-spoken “Well, I told you I’d do it! I told you I’d do it!” Her raw fear, anger, and desperation transcend language, and though she’s never been an Éponine who can do a classic high-pitched scream, the fierce animalistic screech she utters instead is fully effective. Adding to the scene’s rawness is the fact that during Claquesous’ “What a palaver…” we hear Thénardier slapping her twice!

Honorable Mention:

*The Javert of Kunio Murai (a.k.a. the Japanese voice of Harrison Ford) softly yet madly laughing after “I am reaching, but I fall” in “Javert’s Suicide.”

10th Anniversary Concert

Colm Wilkinson (Jean Valjean), Phillip Quast (Javert), Ruthie Henshall (Fantine), Alun Armstrong (Thénardier), Jenny Galloway (Mme. Thénardier), Lea Salonga (Éponine), Michael Ball (Marius), Michael Maguire (Enjolras), Judy Kuhn (Cosette)

The moment of Éponine’s death.

Most Les Mis fans seem to agree that Lea Salonga and Michael Ball give us an especially poignant rendition of “A Little Fall of Rain” in this concert. And of that rendition, it’s the very end that stands out for me. The way Lea draws out her last note on “…flowers…” so that her voice sweetly blends with Michael’s, then gives him one last tender glance before her eyes close and her head falls lifeless against his chest. Michael’s soft, short “…grow,” which sounds as if Marius is so overwhelmed with emotion that he can barely utter the word. And the way he tenderly caresses her hair and kisses the top of her head, then mournfully cradles her body. Even though this is a concert with the performers standing in front of mics, this moment is just as tender and poignant as it is in any fully staged performance.

Honorable Mentions:

*Colm Wilkinson’s fearsome “I will see it DONE!!!” at the end of “Fantine’s Arrest.”

*Ruthie Henshall’s shimmering, ethereal tone as she trails away her final note on “…and I’ll see her when I wake!” We seem to hear Fantine’s spirit rising to heaven on that note.

*Hannah Chick getting startled by an accidental balloon pop during "Castle on a Cloud," but continuing the song without missing a beat.

*Alun Armstrong and Jenny Galloway’s pantomime bickering as the Thénardiers at the end of “Master of the House.”

*Michael Maguire’s “Lamarque is dead…” in which at first, he seems to reel in grief, but then suddenly realizes that this can be the catalyst for their revolution, and then rallies his friends with mounting excitement that finally becomes ecstatic fervor.

*Lea Salonga’s fierce and angry “Without me, his world will go on turning” in “On My Own.” The melancholy waif Éponine of the ‘80s is gone: this girl is a fiery urchin and she’s mad at Marius for not returning her love.

*Michael Maguire placing his hand on Anthony Crivello’s shoulder after the latter’s solo in “Drink with Me.” It’s a small gesture, but it shows that by this time in the musical’s history, everyone seems to agree that Enjolras and Grantaire should have some meaningful interaction in this moment.

*Philip Quast loosening one lock of his hair to convey the unhinging of his mind during “Javert’s Suicide.”

Original Duisburg Cast Recording

Jerzy Jeszke (Jean Valjean), Hartwig Rudolz (Javert), Cornelia Drese (Fantine), Tom Zahner (Thénardier), Anne Welte (Mme. Thénardier), Sanni Luis (Éponine), Felix Martin (Marius), Martin Berger (Enjolras), Deborah Dutcher (Cosette)

The Foreman’s “Right, my girl. On your way!” (or rather “Tja, mein Schatz. Raus mit dir!”)

Again, it’s not easy to choose a standout moment from a highlights recording. But I finally chose one, although it doesn’t involve any of the leads. It’s the way that Steffen Friedrich as the Foreman delivers the German equivalent of “Right, my girl. On your way!” (Which literally translates as “Well, my darling. Out with you!”) In my experience, very few actors deliver “On your way!” as a full-blown ferocious shout: yes, Michael McCarthy and Jeff Nicholson in the anniversary concerts both roar it, but that seems to be precisely because those performances are grand-scale concerts. Most actors in my experience either just snap it or else speak it in a chillingly quiet voice. This German actor is the first Foreman I’ve heard outside of a concert who truly shouts the line, in a vicious snarling tone. Poor Fantine.

1996 Duisburg proshot video

Jerzy Jeszke (Jean Valjean), Hartwig Rudolz (Javert), Cornelia Drese (Fantine), Tom Zahner (Thénardier), Anne Welte (Mme. Thénardier), Sanni Luis (Éponine), Felix Martin (Marius), Martin Berger (Enjolras), Deborah Dutcher (Cosette)

Felix Martin’s reserved grief for Éponine.

I’ve chosen the same moment here that I did for the 10th Anniversary Concert, but here it’s played very differently. Felix Martin is a reserved and gentlemanly Marius, nowhere near as amiable and effusive as Michael Ball, and Sanni Luis’s ruggedly vulnerable Éponine clearly belongs to a different world than he does. He treats her with amusement and sympathy, but not as a close friend. But as she brings him to Cosette, protects them from the gang, and ultimately dies for him at the barricade, he sees her in a new light and learns her true value. His reaction to her death suits this arc and his personality in general. At first glance it might seem cold: no tears, no kiss, no cradling, just a long, motionless, sadly disbelieving stare at her body. But as he stays in that stance even after she’s carried away, it becomes clear that he’s shaken to the core by her passing. Especially when he finally picks up her hat and gently presses it to his heart.

Honorable Mentions:

*At the end of "Master of the House," instead of the standard closing comic business (i.e. Thénardier drinks his own bad homemade wine, runs to the kitchen, and throws up), Mme. Thénardier withdraws into the kitchen gulping the wine, and her husband follows her, angry that she just humiliated him in front of everyone. He snatches the jug from her, and they get into a vicious pantomime argument, seeming about to come to blows as the turntable sweeps them out of sight.

*Felix’s Marius putting his hand on Enjolras’s shoulder as the latter sings “…before the barricades arise?” and smiling idealistically at Enjolras’s vision. This one quick moment establishes Marius’s devotion to Enjolras as a friend and to their cause, setting the stage for his inner conflict when romance threatens to interfere.

*Valjean hugging Cosette on “Cosette, my child, what will become of you?” and Cosette resting her head on his chest, as if she really did just have a bad fright and wants comfort. A sweet, tender father/daughter moment in a scene that’s not always played for tenderness… yet with a double edge, because Cosette is lying to Valjean to hide Marius’s presence.

*Enjolras rallying his friends during “One Day More!” Martin Berger doesn’t just stand with his rifle aloft throughout his solo lines: he does it briefly at first, but then he turns and interacts with the other Amis, touching their shoulders, addressing them individually, and actively being a leader and friend to them, not just a figurehead of revolution.

[chameleon3]

when they ask me what my favorite noah kahan song is but i can’t say your needs, my needs because it reminds me exactly of how i was exactly a year ago and nothing will ever be more freeing than the sensation of scream-singing that song live in concert, surrounded by hundreds of people, all at once feeling alone with the lyrics and while at the same time everyone in the crowd became one and also the “plot” of your needs, my needs heavily reflects the plot of dead poets society (at least in my eyes) with the soft, gentle, sentimental beginning verse/chorus, reflecting todd’s blooming friendship with neil. then, so very suddenly, the bridge (?) starts and neil has suddenly died. todd’s life sounds exactly like both the instrumentation and lyrics at the drop. the endings are also very reminiscent of each other. finally, lyrically, “your needs, my needs” represents todd and neil’s individual needs. from the perspective of todd, “your needs” refers to neil. neil needed to be let go. he needed to die. if he hadn’t, he would have lived an unhappy life and would have never felt truly free. to neil, death was the only solution. the only way he would ever be truly free was in death. to todd, “my needs” refers to todd’s need for neil. neil was the spark in his life, the reason todd lived. he helped todd come out of his shell, he was always there for him, he was his emotional pedestal. todd needs neil, but he has to inevitably accept that no matter how much neil knew that, neil needed to die.

so i just say maine.

[briebysabs]

Vnc OP 1 - Sora to Utsuro

We are here again! I’ll be taking the time to talk of VnC’s first opening and breaking down the lyrics. Specifically in regards to what I will refer to as the dream loop theory. If you don’t know what I mean by that, the base summary is that the VnC universe is a story. Noé is the narrator, the character, the archiver and the creator. Noé is writing the memoires to manifest his memories. Let’s call it a memory world. He does this either to escape his regret-filled reality or to save Vanitas. However, when he “loops”, he doesn’t remember why he’s there so everything plays out the way it was written in the memoires.

Then Noé will live on, write the memoires again, and the cycle continues. And because he’s done this countless times, the memoirs gradually stray away from the original story. I’ll elaborate further when talking about OP 1. Right about now!

This was the main translation I could find for the full song (not including English covers but I could reach the same conclusions for those as well) If anyone has other translations for the whole thing, I’d love to see it. https://youtu.be/G_bJwB1YePw?si=xPVlV3_Fd57S-Bo1

/You’re pondering the simple things, pretty much human emotions and love/

/I hope one day you’ll understand/

/Too many wounds have left you patched together, a miserable sight/

/That doesn’t even know the definition of alive/

It is confirmed that this opening is from Noe’s POV. But keep in mind for the rest of this thread, it’s future Noé speaking. There are two main readings for the song; for the most part it’s Noé talking to or about Vanitas. And then there’s Noé talking to himself. This part has both interpretations.

Noé to Vanitas: Vanitas does struggle to understand his emotions throughout the story, that includes love. Vanitas is a broken individual, has too many wounds/trauma Noé cannot ignore and for a long time, was fueled by getting his “revenge”. Thus he’s forgotten what it means to live. You can also read into “doesn’t know the definition of alive” in a meta sense, from the beginning of the story he’s already dead.

And the very name ‘Vanitas’ is surrounded with the imagery of death, futility and mortality. So yes, Vanitas as a concept doesn’t know what ‘alive’ is.

Noé to himself: Noé as well is trying to figure out human emotions. This is a case study of a human after all. The memoirs follow Noe’s journey in understanding Vanitas’ thinking. And we’ve had Noé blatantly ask Vanitas what love means. But we can read this as Noé , sort of telling his past self that one day he will understand and feel this pain. Take note of “many wounds have left you patched together”. As I said, he could be talking about how “fragile” Vanitas is but what if this is about himself?

/No need to say “just the two of us” or anything/

/I have a feeling we can understand each other/

/And that’s fine for now/

This is calling to the Catacombs Arc, where Vanitas repeats Noe’s line of being able to do anything together. Interesting enough, it’s that arc where we see a bit of Vanitas’ backstory and it ends with the two sitting against each other. An understanding has been reached. Of course we all know that’s what VnC is about but of course he adds the ‘for now’ because what would this show be without its looming doom.

/I love this world and the light only you give me/

/Makes the world I see through these fractured eyes/

/Look gleaming and bright/

It’s these verses that made me want to spend more time on this. First of all, ‘I love this world’, a little weird right? I can only hope this translation is the most accurate but we’re saying ‘this’ instead of ‘the world’. Makes it sound like “I like this one. I prefer this one.” And ‘the light only you give me’ is very odd if we’re saying this is from Noe’s POV. Emphasis on ONLY.

Another reason why I believe it’s future Noé singing because why would present Noé say Vanitas is the only light he has? Vanitas is the only thing keeping him from falling apart. Vanitas being the sole reason Noé loves the world…doesn’t line up with the Noé we’re seeing now. Now it could be Vanitas is a “special” light. But that kinda raises more alarms because Vanitas is very admired in this song guys. And present Noé I feel wouldn’t be so sure in proclaiming this. The world being seen through fractured eyes could be multiple things. We know Noé sustained an injury on his left eye when Teacher bought him.

This could feed into a theory that has been speculated over the years that Noe’s vision was permanently altered and he sees things from that eye differently. Of course, it could refer to future Noe’s perception of life being broken due to the events of the series. Thus why Vanitas is the one thing that makes it gleaming and bright. You could then ask “But Vanitas is gone in the future so how is that possible?” In comes my theory. It’s interesting how Noé is often associated with light, the sun etc. but here we see him give those characteristics to Vanitas’ presence.

/There’s no such thing as a sure thing/

/But you can see me can’t you?/

Things get a little fuzzy here. Obviously, nothing is sure, nothing lasts forever. This period of happiness will pass. But “you can see me”. Assuming this world is a memory, this could be Noé being elated from seeing Vanitas. That his plan has worked. But you can also interpret this, I forgot who pointed it out but ty whoever you are, that this is the one moment Vanitas interjects in the song. Essentially saying, “you can see me, so this is not real.” As if trying to wake Noé up. And if you look at the OP itself, for most of it Vanitas is following or lagging behind Noé like a ghost. There’s even a part where Noé is looking at a drawing of a view instead a real one, Vanitas is yelling at him, trying to get his attention and Noé ignores him completely. Not to mention the OP starts and ends with Noé sleeping, Vanitas nor his belongings ever in the room almost as if it was all a dream hmmm.

You can see this also as Noé acknowledging the world he has created is only temporary. Noé knows this isn’t real, isn’t a sure thing. But then Vanitas comes in to be like “you can see me, can’t you. So is it that bad?”

/I’m pondering the simple things, pretty much emptiness and frigidity/

/One by one lies have increased/

/Playing with a simple puppet/

/My rusted head is shaking/

We’ve contrasted “human emotions and love” with “emptiness and frigidity” here. Frigid here means the bitter cold, stiff, lacking in warmth. The opposite of what Noé says this world gives him so safe guess, he’s talking about the reality he is escaping. Where Vanitas is dead as well as a lot of his friends. The lies have built upon each other, adding to my theory where the numerous times Noé has done this has created layers upon layers of worlds. And each one has more inaccuracies than the last. This is his story, a play, he is the writer and the puppeteer of everyone’s roles. When they appear, what they say and do is decided by what Noé writes in the memoires. But by all the loops he’s made himself a puppet too. His head being rusted could hint at many, many years passing since everything happened. What’s even more interesting is remember, Vanitas is the one usually associated with cold and emptiness. So why is Noé assigning those things to his thoughts? It really shows how future Noé has come to view Vanitas vs himself. Because ignoring any theories or whatever for a second, future Noé is clearly burdened with regrets and hate towards himself.

/Your laughing was reflected by a daydream/

/Without knowing yet we just want to laugh/

/Throw away the answer, whatever you want is fine for now/

We circle back to the dream thing again. What is a daydream? It’s something you fantasize about when you are bored or in need of a distraction. A reflection looks and behaves exactly like you, copies your movements, but is it real? We all know mirrors and reflections play a major role in the story. Whether having mirrors or frames in official art or volume covers. Characters reflecting each other like Vanitas/Astolfo, Domi/Louis, Ruthven/Noé etc. I think the “throw away the answer” is interesting, it could be Noé again knowing what the “right” thing to do is but is desperate to see Vanitas laugh. Feels very much like a “oh forget about all that, what do you wanna do?” Noé putting other people before himself and being selfless to a fault.

/I love this world that lacks everything/

/If the mechanical echoes/

/Everything seems to be laughable/

/I can’t be proud of it/

/But isn’t the burning dream beautiful/

Why would you love a hollow world? This is Noé saying this. How can a world lack everything if it’s meant to be real? Unless it isn’t. Unless it lacks what you truly desire even if you claim to love it regardless. Echoes fall into the same vein as reflections I brought up previously. ‘Mechanical’ implies it’s a machine, tying back to it being empty and hollow. Lacking realness. And it’s funny, Noé says he’s not proud of it. His world, his creation if you will. That it’s laughable even but then goes on to call it beautiful. Think about that for a minute. The dream is burning because Vanitas will always die no matter what Noé does. Everything will go up in flames, it’s only temporary but guess what? To Noé, this fleeting period of happiness is far better than whatever he has left when he wakes up.

/When the sky and the void meet look back because the dreams will come later/

/When the sky and the void meet look back be still in bloom/

/When the sky and the void meet born and die repeatedly/

/The future and lies break and laugh/

We’ll stop here because the song then goes back to the first chorus “I love this world and the light you give me” stuff. This part of the OP I would say is the most vague, you can read this a lot of ways. However you want to interpret it, there is a clear loop going on. We can see “sky and void” as metaphors for Vanitas and Noé. Personally I’d say Noé is the void because of that official art that has Vanitas with a clear sky in the background and Noé is sinking into the darkness. Similar to when he drinks someone’s blood and sees their memories.

But while Vanitas has a few purple butterflies, Noé is given that distinct glowing blue butterfly. Vanitas is Noe’s light. We talk about that art for hours but that's for another day. Plus given how Noé talks in this song, it’s safe to say he sees himself as the void. And once they meet the dreams will come later, to be born and die repeatedly. Meeting could be their actual meeting from chapter one and the cycle/memory world begins from there. It could be wherever fuck they were when Noé failed to grab Vanitas’ hand. The future and lies….what lies? Who my dear readers would be lying to us :000. But eventually that mountain of lies will come tumbling down.

And, no theory just pure delulu I’ve always headcanoned that when Vanitas dies Noé is going to break out laughing. So if that happens the op spoiled it.

[natequarter]

could you please recommend me some fanfic works of stormlight archive?

im a big fan of kaladin and adolin (if that helps)

sure. firstly, though, i'd recommend you check out @cosmereplay's fic rec and stormlight fanfic tag, since i am not especially well-versed in stormlight archive fanfic (i am still reading the series!), as well as the fandom tag from the beginning, and i don't tend to read much about adolin specifically. as such, my recommendations are less aimed at any one character and more aimed at "stuff i enjoyed reading". without further ado:

Army Adolescence by Silvermoonwater: kaladin & oroden, local radiant discovers windrunner powers do not extend to being a single dad, feat. politicking and aroace kaladin

five times torol and ialai were sad teens (and one time they just started killing) by dally_nar: sadeas/ialai, trans man sadeas vs the horrors of vorin gender roles, murdering your way to the top is a viable political strategy

Doing It For Themselves by primeideal: evi/navani, that awkward moment when you fall for your sister-in-law, May Contain Women

The Blue Envelope with the Bronze Seal by cosmere_play: sigzil & hoid, aroallo sigzil, bureaucracy and soulmate aus regrettably do go together - much to sigzil's displeasure

Different Paths, Different Oaths by LucentRhythm: tien; helaran davar; elhokar; and elid-daughter-neturo, the basic premise being the way of kings if our main characters died (kaladin and dalinar are both dead here), and the story took a rather different path...

Safety Rope by Joey_Joe_Joe_Shabadoo: jasnah/hoid, a beautiful series of missing scenes exploring their mostly offscreen relationship, genuinely perfect

Kholin Fried Chicken™, also by Joey_Joe_Joe_Shabadoo: hoid & design, existential fast food, crack of the sort that is difficult to explain or warn for. may contain... uh... we don't know what it contains, actually. oh god. what have we done? do not read whilst drinking (you will choke); do not eat whilst thinking; do not question whilst awake. i the recommender cannot be held liable for any side effects of consuming kholin fried chicken.

Fighting Young Ladies by NevillesGran: adolin & renarin & jasnah, adolin is not sulking, the inevitable ableism of the alethi court vs Adolin's Fists

Phantom Pains by elsecaller_muu: adolin & renarin, general kholin family dynamics, the fallout of evi's death

A Thing That Should Not Be by BlindRadiant: szeth & nale, nonbinary szeth, here be vampires (guilty ones, of course, because it's szeth)

I'll Keep You Out of the Dark (If I Only Could) by YourLocalTiredTruthwatcher: jasnah & elhokar, their relationship over the years, and, ultimately, his death

House Meeting by Sailorspren: elhokar & moash & szeth, they're all vampires, best described as "what we do in the shadows meets szeth"

To Love Again by squirenonny: navani/dalinar... with a terrible, terrible twist

Reflection by thephilosophersapprentice: kaladin & laral, kaladin has changed a lot, radiants are somehow otherworldly

nearly the heavens by liesmyth: kaladin/laral, canon-divergent from before the way of kings, kaladin never joins amaram's army but ends up at the shattered plains anyway

Who You Are Behind Closed Doors by nevertheless_turtle: shallan/adolin & kaladin, ace kaladin, shallan and adolin both think kaladin is hot and he just Does Not Get It

and two fics of my own, whilst we're here and i'm not feeling shame:

Timekeeping, jasnah & shallan, left-handed jasnah, a sketchy exploration of what the hell happened to her as a child

The Masculine Arts, jasnah/hoid, gender feelings, hoid and the magic of stories

sidenote: as a rule i've gone against recommending multiple authors, in the interests of fairness and conciseness, but please assume any author i do recommend individually is also worth reading more broadly. have fun!

[uniquepeanutcreatorfire]

Stolas's Offer is for Selfish Reasons

This is my speculation on the Full Moon episode. At first, I thought Stolas getting Blitz an Asmodean crystal was a step in the right direction for him. However, I then listen and read the lyrics of the upcoming Stolitz duet and realized I was wrong. Stolas isn't offering the crystal in order to do the right thing but it's so Blitz won't feel obligated anymore and that he can be with Stolas.

In the beginning of his verses, he is still very much deluded and thinks the deal is the only thing holding them back from being happy together. Despite having two songs prior where he mentioned that his situation with Blitz was his own fantasy and how Blitz won't open up to him. Sure, he mentions giving Blitz a choice so he won't feel like a prisoner. However, the majority of his verses are about his own fears of losing Blitz and dying alone.

Despite what the narrative says, Stolas doesn't love Blitz as a person but rather how he feels when he's with him. This is why there's never any chemistry or genuine connection between them.

One of Stolas's main problems is he lacks empathy.

He still doesn't comprehend why Blitz is so closed off to him. It all started with the night at Ozzie's. In addition to Blitz's former love interests humiliating him, he sees Stolas hide his face from him which he took as Stolas being ashamed to be seen with him. This was when Ozzie was singing about how Stolas had given up his family (and everything else) to be with Blitz, a lowly imp. Even after that, Stolas acts like nothing happened and doesn't see why Blitz was upset.

(Quick tangent: Those texts in later episodes didn't fix anything. If Stolas was supposedly used to Ozzie poking fun at him, WHY would he hide his face?!)

He may say he doesn't care about Blitz's social status, but he doesn't understand the struggles imps go through. He still treats imps like crap (i.e. his butler) and uses derogatory terms, "little one", even in the recent ep. 6, Oops. His near-death experience with Striker and his speech about how higher-up demons treat imps didn't teach him anything. The way he constantly spoke down to Blitz in season one is a major reason why Blitz is so distance too.

I may make another post about Stolas's issues since this is getting too long. Just know, he hasn't shown any progression and I hope more people continue to call out this bullshit of a situationship.

[buttermander]

So i envisioned an animatic depicting the origins of the ichor operation in my head despite having no idea how to make one

So i discovered Scylla from EPIC: the musical and my mind somehow devised a possible animatic idea for it, even though I don't how to make animatics. Bascially it has the very start of Dandy's little ichor operation and stuff with a few toons surviving. I can describe what I saw

So Dandy has called all the toons to a lower floor but didn't tell them the reason for it, but they all went with it since he's the defacto leader after Gardenview closed. Astro is uneasy as his psychic abilities seem to have given him visions in his sleep of something bad happening. When everyone gets to the spot they find a strange closed door before the intercom comes on , with Dandy's voice greeting them ( represented by the " Hello... " ). Suddenly the door begins to burst open before something builds up behind it, until a massive literal flood of ichor emerges, Astro tells everyone to run for their lives ( " ROW FOR YOUR LIVES!! ") .. running back to the elevator based on his premonition, but the others misinterpret the warning at first, instead moving to climb on top of objects to avoid the flood. Several toons get caught ( Sprout, Finn, Pebble, etc ) as the tide pulls them under. A few other toons ( Boxten . Poppy , Vee , Goob , Scraps , Rodger, Toodles) notice Astro running to the elevator and quickly leave the high ground to follow, unknowingly saving themselves.

Here shots would lime up to a different line

" Drown in your sorrow and fears " , - Sprout is caught in the flood and he and Cosmo desperately reach for each other, only for Sprout to sink under

" Choke on your blood and your tears " - Finn manages to stay afloat with his life jacket trying to swim to the others, only for the ichor to form into hands to push him under

" Bleed till you run out of years " - The other toons watch Pebble and a few others sinking in the tide unable to save the rock, the aformented toons notice Astro running and move to follow.

" We must do what it takes to Survive " - The group fleeing to the elevator keeps running and then it cuts to Cosmo finding Sprout's scarf in the tide, approaching trying to save his best friend only for a massive black claw to reach from the depths and grab him

Now the second verse reveals why Astro ran to the elevator based on his vision. Those caught in the tide are now twisteds attacking those on the high ground with their backs turned to a wall. Again the different lines correlate to a shot

" Give up your honor and faith " - Twisted Sprout grabs Cosmo , holding him by his neck before plunging him into the ichor

" Live out your life as a wraith " - Twisted Finn moves through the tide of ichor like a shark on the hunt before leaping out and grabbing Shrimpo , pulling him under.

" Die in the blood where you bathe " - Twisted Pebble stands over a pile of victims in the tide, currently carrying Scraps in his teeth who sacrificed herself to save Goob. Other twisteds are attacking remaining survivors in the background.

" We must do what it takes to survive " - the others continue running only for Rodger to have to let himself get grabbed to prevent the beasts that were once fellow toons from harming Toodles, the survivors ( Astro , Boxten, Poppy , Toodles , Goob , Vee ) make it into the elevator at the last minute before the residual flood or the twisteds, both the initial ones and the victims reanimated by the ichor can manage to claim them. ( The six survivors parallel the 6 deaths that occur in the actual musical during the song )

The animatic ends with the others mourning as Astro begins to feel guilt that he could have warned everyone else far earlier and stopped this from happening. Vee moves over and tries to reassure the fellow main toon as the group is left to descend to another floor as the song ends

Yeah I thought this entire concept in my dang head without being capable of making it.... what is wrong with me?!?! If this post does inspire you and try and make the concept for yourself than go hecking ahead, this song works too well for the beginning of the ichor operation.

[altocat]

So if Sephgeal happens in sephcanons instead of sephgen or ags how would that look? I cant wait for episode 2 I hope we see lots of them ^^

If Sephgeal were to happen instead of Sephgen...

THE DOOMED ROMANCE OF SEPHIROTH AND ANGEAL

Sephiroth and Genesis are still best friends. Genesis has unrequited feelings for Sephiroth that he never confesses, but also resents him for stealing his childhood friend away.

Sephiroth and Angeal fell in love gradually over time. Angeal acts as Sephiroth's rock and was the first to confess his feelings. His support helped Sephiroth gradually come to terms with his own sexuality and they got together as young adults.

They are silently devoted to each other, not verbally or physically affectionate in public but entertaining a deeply passionate and profound love affair behind closed doors. It's the only time when they truly are able to express their mutual adoration for each other without Shinra breathing down their necks.

Angeal is the gentle dom of the two of them. Sephiroth doesn't mind as he is typically in charge whenever they're on active duty. But relationship-wise Angeal is his safe place, his shelter. Angeal takes care of him. And Sephiroth protects him in turn.

During Crisis Core, Angeal leaves Sephiroth behind because he is worried about hurting him and also because he doesn't want to put Sephiroth at risk of Shinra's wrath. He thinks that Sephiroth will be able to handle himself on his own for a bit, recognizing that Sephiroth is loyal to Shinra but severely underestimating Sephiroth's inability to cope without him, hence why he is shocked to find Sephiroth so haggard and thin when they reunite.

Sephiroth takes Zack under his wing partially out of genuine fondness for the boy, but also because he is trying to "share" something with his missing lover, if only to stifle the pain of Angeal's absence.

Sephiroth obv does NOT take Angeal's disappearance well and has a hard time taking care of himself, as that was always what Angeal was good at.

The last time they meet is before Modeoheim, where they have one last bittersweet encounter. Angeal tells Sephiroth to send Zack to Modeoheim just in case, as he's still worried about Sephiroth getting into trouble should he refuse orders to kill Genesis.

When Sephiroth receives word of Angeal's death, he does not handle it well at ALL. He spends weeks locked in his room, refusing to come out.

When he encounters Zack again during his trip to Modeoheim, he lies slightly. He's not there for Genesis-clone related stuff. He's mostly there to grieve at Angeal's death-site.

Sephiroth never truly gets over Angeal's death, though he puts on a brave face. He "spares" Zack in Nibelheim because some twisted part of himself still views Zack as something Angeal left behind. But at the same time, his memories of Angeal are already starting to fade after his bender in the library. If anything, what he DOES remember about Angeal is growing increasingly more twisted and resentful. Sephiroth gradually begins to wonder why he could have ever loved such a LIAR and a TRAITOR in the first place. The only thing he knows is that striking out against the Buster Sword causes him to...feel things.

Said Buster Sword is the very thing that does him in.

Angeal and Sephiroth reunite again in an AU 'verse of course (Opera Omnia), but by then, there's nothing left of the Sephiroth Angeal once knew.

In the main canon, Angeal's spirit waits for Sephiroth in the far recesses of the Lifestream, refusing to pass on until they are reunited, waiting for the day when Sephiroth finally lets go and is at peace.

He will be waiting for a very long time.

[imagine-you]

you and me and all of these living dead [Logan/Reader; Bucky Barnes/Reader] (2/2)

Summary: You've been running from Logan for years. When the virus struck, you never would have thought that Logan would join the leagues of the living dead. Now, he's following you wherever you go, forcing you to stay at least one step ahead of him to avoid a confrontation. It doesn't help that in the years since Logan turned, you've found peace with Bucky, and Logan is less than pleased at the prospect of losing you. When you're kidnapped and forced to use your power for a rogue group of scavengers, Bucky and Logan will have to learn to put their differences aside in order to save you. Word Count: 4.3k Author's Notes: A Marvel Zombies/What If: Zombies fic. The third fic in a series of spinoffs from my main fic in my Home 'verse that explores different Wolverine variants and their relationships with the reader in their universes.

Read On AO3

You could hear the moan of the undead, their gnashing teeth and outstretched hands eager for a way to sate their hunger.  

"That's a hell of a lot of dead fucks," Logan observed, looking over your shoulder at the crowd of zombies in front of you.  

"Thankfully they'll be easy to handle," you told him.  

What was left of the X-Men were moving out in search of another sanctuary. If there were other mutants or superpowered zombies in the crowd, it would have meant one hell of a fight, but they were just normal humans turned ravenous creatures.  

"You nearly passed out last time," Logan reminded you. "I don't like this." 

"It's our only choice now," you told him. "We're losing people left and right, Logan. We can't afford to lose anyone else now."  

"Doesn't mean I want you pushing yourself too hard," he grumbled, watching as Remy shut the back doors of the van.  

Your team had dwindled to a depressingly low number and now all of you could fit in just one vehicle.  

"I know you'll be there to stop me from going too far," you told him. "I trust you, Logan." 

Logan studied you for a moment before he sighed. "Alright, let's get this over with, then." 

He waved at the team in the van, letting them know it was time. If Erik had been with you, then he simply would have lifted the van and let it go wherever. But he had left in search of salvation, promising Charles that he would be back. Making a promise like that was as good as a death sentence, but you still hoped that he would return to the group one day.  

Rogue pulled the van up to the gates and Logan pressed the button to open them. He hadn't left your side, keeping a careful watch on you as you put your hands out in front of you. You used your power to send out a repulsion field, scattering zombies, and managed to even kill some when your forcefield ripped right through them.  

It left the way forward clear, but exerting that much power left black spots dancing on the edges of your vision. You felt yourself begin to tilt to the side, the ground rushing up to meet you, before Logan's arms wrapped around your waist.  

"I got you," Logan assured you, already beginning to pull you in the direction of the van.  

"I know," you muttered, fighting the urge to succumb to sleep. "You always catch me." 

You woke with a groan. Your head felt like someone was repeatedly hitting it with a hammer and your pulse was pounding so furiously you could feel it resonate through your whole body. There was an awful taste in your mouth and all you wanted was a glass of water to chase away the desert that had taken up residence there.  

"You're finally awake," the woman from before said. You had nearly forgotten about the kidnapping, but now just hearing her voice, you wanted nothing more than to kill her.  

Bucky had been left behind with a whole horde of zombies because of this woman and her goons. If anything happened to Bucky because of her, you would enjoy ripping her apart with your power.  

You managed to lift your head, realizing that you were tied to a chair. You curled your lip up in a snarl before attempting to use your power, but the woman pressed a button, and a jolt shot through you. It stung and left you reeling, your head hanging low for a moment before you could lift it again.  

"What the hell am I doing here?" You groaned, fighting the pull of unconsciousness. It wouldn’t help you now to pass out again and it sure as hell wouldn’t get you any answers.  

The woman watched you for a moment before she smiled. It sent a shiver down your spine, leaving you feeling unsettled.  

"You're here to protect us, of course," she answered, as if it had been obvious from the start.  

"Protect you?" You would rather do anything else, and from the way the woman chuckled, you knew she could read that much from your disbelieving expression.  

"Well, after our last protector died, we kind of needed a new one," the woman mused with a smirk. "And who better to protect us than someone exactly like her? Forcefields," she clarified when you shot her a confused look.  

"Sue," you realized, thinking about the distress signal. "You killed Sue and then you used her to get to me." 

"We didn’t kill her so much as she just burned out one day. A necessary loss," the woman claimed with a tilt of her head as she observed you. "I've heard you're more powerful. You should last longer than she did." 

You tried to move, but she shocked you again, leaving you shaking and in pain. "Why the fuck would I do a damn thing for you? You can't make me use my power. Especially not to keep you safe. You’ve got a funny way of asking for favors, you know that?" 

"Oh, but we can force you to use your power for us," the woman argued with a satisfied grin. "We've got our own scientists who have been working on a cure, but they can't do the work if they're worrying about dying every single second of their lives. So, they came up with a few fun little experiments that will let us control you superpowered freaks." 

You groaned, rolling your head forward to stare down at your knees. "You're one of those, aren't you?" 

The woman only deigned to quirk an eyebrow at you in question when you snuck a peek at her. 

"You hate mutants," you supplied for her. “You think we’re freaks and should have been forced to register ourselves or locked up in some kind of institution somewhere being studied. You want us gone. Obsolete,” you continued when she merely stared at you.  

"Before the apocalypse, I didn't. I marched your rights. I signed petitions and called state senators and did everything I could to ensure that you would have the same rights as I did. I thought, after all, you’re just people. People the system had failed. People who needed help." 

"And then after the apocalypse?" You prompted, having a pretty good guess where she was going with her attempt to justify killing people with superpowers so she could live.  

"You superpowered freaks released the virus," she hissed, leaning forward until she was in your space. 

"There it is," you sighed, knowing that technically the person who released the virus didn't have a power, but he did have the tech to travel the quantum realm. You didn't begrudge Hank his trip to attempt to save his wife, but you wished he had done a bit more research on the quantum realm before setting out on his rescue mission.  

The woman reached out, taking your chin in her hand and forcing you to look at her. "It's people like you who killed our world. I don't care how many of you we have to burn through to survive. You owe us." 

You laughed, jerking your chin free of her hold. There was a feeling you got whenever Logan was near and it was quickly rising up with you, so dizzyingly fast that you didn’t even have time to be grateful for what was about to be one hell of a distraction. You knew, somehow, that he was close and getting ready to find you. You didn’t even feel sorry this time for whoever was stupid enough to stand in his way. With any luck, Bucky would be right on his heels, and you would live to see another day.  

"You really know how to pick them, don't you," you told her. “I mean, what's one superhero traded for the lives of what? A dozen or so people? But this time, you chose the wrong one. You fucked up.” 

She arched an eyebrow at you. "And what is that supposed to mean?" 

"It means," you started, hearing the telltale sound of a crash followed by a scream. "That you're all going to die now." 

There were more screams and the sound of a gun firing. The woman's eyes had gone wide, fearful, no longer filled with the arrogance of having the upper hand. You took advantage of her distraction to remove yourself from your restraints by pushing out with a forcefield. It was easy to unhook the IV you didn't even realize had been stuck in the crook of your arm. You were sure it was full of drugs to make you compliant, but you didn’t feel like playing along anymore.  

You were tired and you wanted to go home wherever the hell that happened to be and you wanted to see Bucky alive and whole and unscathed. You were terrified at the prospect of having to see Logan again, but also thrilled that he had caught you when it mattered most.  

You still felt unsteady as you rose to your feet, but your anger burned bright and fast, allowing you to reach out with your power. You used a forcefield to slam the woman into a wall, keeping her pinned.  

"Please, don't do this," the woman begged, prompting an amused smile from you.  

"You know, Sue didn't have anyone. The rest of the Fantastic Four were either dead or zombified. So, you got lucky, I'll give you that. But there's something you don't know about me and it’s what’s gonna cost you now." 

You kept pushing in with your forcefield, knowing the woman was going to start struggling to breathe at any moment. You kept the pressure at her ribs and chest, wanting to make it all as painful as possible for her. Sue’s recording hadn’t been faked and you knew without a doubt that she had begged for her life and freedom up until her death.  

You owed no mercy to her captors.   

"What's that?" The woman croaked, going limp in your hold.  

"That I’ve got people out there who would kill for me and they'll always find me. And if the Winter Soldier doesn't kill every last one of your people for kidnapping and then trying to kill me, then the Wolverine sure as hell will." 

"But Wolverine is dead," the woman pointed out, the steady pressure at her chest causing her to sound breathless.  

"Less dead and more undead," you told her, feeling a smirk tug at the corners of her lips. "You, on the other hand," you started before finally letting your forcefield contract, breaking through her chest and crushing her against the concrete wall, "are dead."  

It didn't feel like it was nearly enough to avenge Sue and the countless others the group had obviously killed in a bid for survival, but you felt just the tiniest bit better knowing she would never kill another.  

You left the room, following the sound of screams and snarls and gunshots down one corridor and then the next until you found the main room. It was another abandoned warehouse, you realized, except it was filled with tents and lab equipment and a small armory.  

Most of the people in the room were already dead, but there was one last survivor who hadn’t yet been taken out by Bucky or Logan.  

You spotted Bucky first, the shield held tight in his grasp as he kept his gun up in the other hand, training it on the guy who had a gun already fixed on him. Bucky stayed absolutely still, not wanting to prompt the other man to shoot him. It looked like the man was determined to get out of the situation alive, but from the way his hand was shaking, you knew he was terrified.  

"You can't do this! We've worked for years on a serum and--," his words were cut off when Logan rushed out from a side corridor and sunk his claws into the man's sides. The man choked on his next words before Logan gave a rumble of satisfaction and surged forward to sink his teeth into the man's jugular.  

You winced and looked away, not wanting to see Logan give in to the hunger. Bucky kept the shield up as he backed away from Logan, attempting to get back to you.  

"Sweetheart, you alright?" Bucky asked, not taking his eyes from Logan. It was smart. Now that the first threat had been neutralized, you knew that Logan had been upgraded to the main concern in Bucky's mind. There was no way Bucky would turn his back on him.  

For good reason, you couldn't help but think, as Logan turned away from the dead guy and set his sights on Bucky.  

"I'm safe," you confirmed for Bucky, stealing Logan's attention for only a moment.  

It was when Logan narrowed his eyes at Bucky that you realized what was going on in his mind. As far as Logan was concerned, the only person standing between you and Logan was Bucky.  

Logan lunged at Bucky before you could try to stop him. His teeth clamped down on Bucky's metal arm as his claws attempted to pierce the shield. Bucky had been ready for him, keeping his feet planted as Logan attempted to swipe at him. Logan finally got tired of that tactic and rammed himself into Bucky, sending him through a wall.  

You noticed that Bucky never once went for his gun and you felt even more conflicted with the knowledge that Bucky wasn't going to try to put down Logan as long as you still loved him. You didn’t even know if a bullet to the brain would do any good. Logan’s regenerative ability might not be able to accommodate the virus, but did it still work on bullet wounds? 

"Bucky," you started, cutting yourself off when Bucky didn't immediately reappear.  

Logan was already shuffling towards you and you backed up, any defense you might be able to use with your power completely forgotten at getting your first full look of Logan in years. He still wore the cowl, but most of his jaw was now exposed. You could see his bones peeking out through his tattered X-Men uniform and what was left of his flesh had decayed, leaving only a shell of the Logan you used to know.  

You kept backing up until you hit the wall, your heart racing with terror.  

Logan froze for just a moment in his pursuit of you before he continued forward again. He seemed more hesitant and when he finally reached you, his touch was oddly gentle. He let his claws retract as he brought his hands up to cup your face. You hadn't been this close to Logan in years and all you could feel was fear infused with a confusing sense of longing.  

"Please," you begged, turning your face to the side, no longer able to look at him.  

"Please?" He echoed, his voice gruff and ending on a rasp.  

"Please don't bite me," you clarified, knowing that it was what he was thinking about. It was the only thing most zombies could think about. Biting and tearing and eating and consuming. You didn’t want your story with Logan to end like that, but you were horrified at the thought that you might not have a choice.  

Logan didn't say anything or move for a moment before he turned your face towards him. He looked sad, you realized, melancholy evident in the downturn of his lips and the slump of his shoulders. It was always a mindfuck seeing any of the undead display more human characteristics, but it just seemed downright cruel with Logan.  

"I don't want to," Logan admitted, his voice coming out as a growl more than anything. "But it's so strong and it's all I can think about," he seethed, his grip on you tightening.  

You could see it all unfold before you. Logan, not able to resist the pull of hunger, biting you after years of longing. You, changing, and becoming the monster you feared more than anything. Bucky, left alone to pick up the pieces, or worse, put you down before you could turn anyone.  

Before Logan could move any closer, he was suddenly pushed off you by the shield digging into his side and propelling him away from you. You felt helpless for the first time in a long while as you watched Logan launch himself at Bucky. Bucky pulled the shield from Logan's side before using it to bounce him back.  

It felt like there was a moment where everything went still. Logan was crouched on the floor, his gaze fixed right on Bucky, and Bucky had moved so his back was to you, and he was once again standing between you and Logan.  

The tension snapped and suddenly Bucky and Logan were at it again. Bucky brought the shield down, nearly dislocating Logan's shoulder, and Logan managed to sink his claws into Bucky's thigh. Bucky let out a cry of pain, but he kept pushing forward, punching Logan in the face over and over against with his metal fist.  

You knew, suddenly, that neither of them would stop until the other was dead. This wasn't simply a fight for survival, but a fight for you. You loved them both so much and you wouldn't dare let either one of them hurt the other.  

"James," you called, stalling the fight by gaining both of their attentions.  

Bucky had his arm held defensively in front of him and Logan had his claws raised, ready to attack again. But now both were looking right at you because you had called their name.  

You were quick to use a forcefield to separate the two, pushing both to opposite sides of the room. Logan looked pissed, but Bucky merely looked exasperated, as if he had expected it to happen at some point.  

You didn't even know who you meant to talk to. Both men, who shared your heart so equally, but one more unattainable to you than the other. You considered both of them for a moment, knowing what you had to do, but hating that it would only hurt you more.  

You started walking towards Logan, noticing Bucky's dejected look he quickly schooled behind a mask of steel.  

You dropped the forcefield containing Logan, ignoring the way it made your heart thump harder in your chest. You were going to take a leap of faith and hope that Logan wouldn't try to bite your face off.  

"Logan," you started, coming to a stop just in front of him.  

His shoulders were tensed and his teeth were bared, but he was visibly keeping himself still under sheer force of will. You knew that the hunger that drove all the living dead was their only purpose. It was what kept them endlessly searching and roaming, ready for the next way to sate it. Logan not immediately trying to kill you was likely driving him insane, but you were foolish enough to think that it was because he loved you.  

"Logan," you continued, wondering just how far you could go before you were crossing the line from stupid into dangerous. "I love you. I've loved you all this time and I don't think that's ever gonna stop. And one day, I'll find a way to cure you, save you," you amended with a grimace. You glanced over your shoulder, catching Bucky watching the pair of you with a hint of despair in his expression. "But I love him too," you told Logan, turning to look at him again. "And I have to go with him now." 

Logan snarled at that and you caught the way he curled his hands into fists. You knew it was only a matter of time before he lost control and you would have to be ready.  

"I don't share," Logan growled, taking a step towards you.  

"It's not about that," you refuted with a quick shake of your head. When Logan took another step towards you, you sealed him off with a forcefield again. "I love both of you and I can't lose either one of you. You can keep chasing after me if you want, but I'm not leaving him. And when we do get a cure for you, because we will, then we'll figure it out. But for now, I have to leave." 

Logan roared and began to hit your forcefield over and over, attempting to break it down. You knew he wouldn't go anywhere without you wanting him to, though, so you took an extra moment just to look at him.  

He wasn't the Logan from your dreams and he wasn't the Logan from your memories. But in a way, he was still Logan, and you still loved him.  

"Goodbye, Logan," you told him, before finally turning your back on him. You ignored the way it made your chest feel tight and your throat close up with the emotions you were trying to choke down. You took a deep breath before walking towards Bucky, grateful that he was still patiently waiting for you. You felt such an immeasurable swell of love for him that you didn't even know what to do with the feeling.  

"You alright?" He checked once you dropped the forcefield keeping him from you. He glanced over your shoulder to watch Logan trying to escape. "That seemed intense." 

"It was," you conceded with a sad smile. "But I needed to say goodbye. I never really got that chance before." 

Bucky considered you for a moment before reaching out, ignoring Logan's snarl of outrage. He reeled you in close until you could fall into his embrace. You let Bucky hold you, knowing that he would help keep you from falling apart like you so desperately wanted to.  

"How did you even find me?" You wondered, knowing that the last time you saw Bucky, he had been overwhelmed by zombies.  

"When I got out of that warehouse, I knew that there was someone out there who always found you. He was following you, so I followed him, and we managed to keep from killing each other long enough to save you." 

"And the others?" You couldn't help but ask, knowing that the situation at the other warehouse had been less than ideal.  

Bucky let out a heavy sigh, letting his forehead rest against your shoulder. "We lost Sharon and nearly lost Happy, but Nat and the spider kid are fine."  

"Fuck," you sighed, hating that Sharon had died in a trap that had been designed for you. "I'm sorry." 

"Not your fault," Bucky assured you before starting to lead you out of the room.  

"These people were working on a cure, Buck," you told him, bringing him to a halt. "There's stuff here we should bring back to Hope." 

Bucky took a moment to look around the room before shooting an uncertain look at the still-contained Logan. Bucky grimaced at whatever he saw before he reluctantly nodded his head. "Let's make it quick, then. The others are waiting for us a few blocks over." 

"I'm surprised Nat didn't try to follow you in here," you told him, knowing that she had a hard time getting sidelined when someone on the team was in trouble.  

"I didn't want her getting mixed up with Logan," Bucky responded, making his way over towards a makeshift lab table. He grabbed a bag and emptied it before starting to shove in random papers.  

"Smart," you praised, helping Bucky ransack the room, all the while carefully not looking at Logan. The faster you got to leave the warehouse, the sooner you could let Logan free. Hopefully, by that time, you would be on the way back to the compound.  

Later, as you followed Bucky back towards wherever the van had been parked, he reached out to grab your hand with the one not holding onto the shield.  

"I know that was hard for you," he started, shooting you a wary glance.  

"It was," you allowed, squeezing Bucky's hand in yours. "I couldn't do any of this without you, you know. I love you. Nothing’s going to change that." 

Bucky offered you a small, genuine smile that held just the tiniest bit of relief. "I love you too."  

Silence fell over the pair of you again. Both of you were trying to listen for the moan of the undead, but you knew there was something on Bucky's mind he was working up the nerve to say.  

"You know, Hope's not the only one trying to find a cure," he started, his grip on your hand tightening with nerves. "I've heard Wakanda's getting real close. Maybe," he said, glancing at you out of the corner of his eye, "maybe we can think about relocating to another country this time." 

"Wakanda," you mused, wondering if Logan would find a way to follow you there too. You knew that it was something Bucky must desperately need if he was actually asking for it. Falling in love with a girl who had a lovesick zombie following her around everywhere couldn’t be easy on him. If he needed a little distance from Logan because you were too stupid to do it yourself, then it was the least you could do for him after everything. “It sounds like a good idea to me,” you finally continued, knowing it was the right decision if you wanted to preserve your relationship with Bucky.  

Bucky shot you a relieved grin before pulling you around a corner, the van suddenly in sight. You wondered if the others would join you or if it was just going to be you and Bucky setting out for Wakanda. Bucky at your side was really all you needed, but it wasn’t all you were going to get. 

You knew, deep down, that it was never going to be just the two of you. You had a feeling that no matter where you went, Logan would follow in your wake. 

All Logan Taglist: @i-left-my-cat-on-the-stove @slightlymediocree @snowyminty @i-wear-wet-socks313

Series Taglist: @ayamenimthiriel @the-gentle-spirit @wolflover-20

If you would like to be added to the all logan, all bucky, or the series taglist, just let me know!

[fluffypotatey]

Assume I know nothing about Maze Runner (I legit know nothing other than Dylan O'Brien in it and based on a book series) what us Maze Runner about and what is up with Newt And Thomas?

:D

ok so

Maze Runner (tmr) was originally a trilogy (The Maze Runner, The Scorch Trials, and The Death Cure) that was then adapted into three movies. but now it’s a 7 book series with the latter half being more like spin-offs and prequels to the main story itself (The Kill Order, The Fever Code, Crank Palace, The Maze Cutter)

when discussing the plot of Maze Runner, there’s technically two versions no thanks to the movies lol (ex: changing WICKED to WCKD)

book and movie #1 stay fairly similar with minor changes and the timeline being a little shorter. but it’s all canon compliant. when we get to Scorch Trials tho??? canon diverges HUGE

characters are all the same tho with some narrative changes bc of the canon divergence, and also certain plot points stay (think spider verse’s canon events thingy)

though, in my humble opinion, i kind of like the divergence the films did! maybe it’s because I saw the movies before reading the books, but it’s such a fun twist while staying in these world building. at least the gang were free from WXKD sooner (maybe that’s why i like it lol)

first off: Characters

[something to note is that most characters names are never actually theirs but ones WICKED gave to them. at least, in book canon]

Thomas

named after Thomas Edison

our protagonist and Mary Sue— i mean, WCKD’s favorite play thing. he is impulsive and cares fiercely for his friends despite the short time he knew them (3 months i think is the book timeline and the movie is 7-8 months give or take). he is a fixer and has a huge guilt complex (ergo, fixer). all he wants to do is help and keep his friends alive above all else, fighting against WCKD’s desire to experiment and test on them

he is also super, super trusting which has gotten him in a lot of trouble (see, Teresa) and almost killed him many times

he is also a part of WICKED’s “Special Elite” which consist of three other kids (Teresa, Aris, and Rachel). they’re the ones that WICKED saw with greater potential and smart enough to be the hands watching the trials rather than participate in them

Teresa Agnes

named after Mother Teresa

secondary antagonist of tmr and ex-best friend of Thomas. she is also a part of the Special Elite and her and Thomas share a telepathic link thanks to WICKED. she is also a fixer and sees WCKD/WICKED as the answer to their problems rather than the problem itself.

she is also the one who betrayed Thomas (and his Glader friends in the movie) to WICKED, ruining his own judge of character. she’s the foil and parallel to Thomas’s desire to fix. neither side can win without destroying and ending the other (which, uh, ends up happening)

Newt

named after Isaac Newton

second in command in the Glade. one of the first round of people sent into the Maze. gained a limp on his left leg after trying to commit suicide over the circumstances of the Maze. he is close with Alby and Minho and is loving called “Glade Mother” but he fandom because of his more “gentle” approach to newcomers (tho Thomas is the only one we see lol)

took this bitch 3 days to start calling Thomas “Tommy” amnesia be damned (was the nickname he gave Thomas when they were childhood besties). he’s one of the first people to start siding with Thomas when he begins trying to speedrun the Maze and defends Thomas against Gally’s fears.

he did end up being one of the people Thomas can wholly trust because of how burned he is by everyone else

Minho

named after author’s nephew in-law (allegedly named after a “future” famous scientist since this takes place in the 2100s)

Keeper of the Runners in the Glade. he’s fast, strong, and has a really good memory and mapped out the whole Maze a year before Thomas arrives. he’s crass and vain and has some anger issues but i love him 🥰

one of the first people to trust Thomas (sort of because Thomas impulsively ran into the Maze to save him and Alby) and be at his defense. Thomas also grows to have so much trust in Minho (Newt and Minho are the only people who haven’t broken it). also Minho was one of the kids Thomas used to be friends with before the Trials

Brenda

not a part of the Gladers. we meet her in The Scorch Trials since she’s one of the many surviving humans living in the new world since the Lights Out occurred. she’s independent and hardened by the world of constantly fighting Cranks and WICKED. her closest and most trusted friend is Jorge (surrogate father type character)

she is :/ also a love interest for Thomas 🙄 but i ignore that (her crush in the movies is sweet tho bc she expects nothing out of it. also like who wouldn’t be crushing on Thomas tbh)

WICKED/WCKD

health organization built on the backs of a crumbling UN/WHO after the Lights Out. created the Flare (fungal virus that eats at the brain and is basically the world’s zombie virus) as a bioweapon when war and unrest broke out from the chaos post-Lights Out

unfortunately :) they lost control of the virus and it spread far and fast. their new goal was to contain it and find a cure as a nice little savior to a world that was slowly dying. their method turned out the be throwing ethics out the door and use children as lab rats (in the books, there is no cure and WICKED turned to experimenting survival of the fittest instead. in the films, there IS a cure thanks to Thomas having special blood)

either way, Thomas ends up being their ruin

now let me just clarify some terminology

Lights Out

not an official term but one fandom picked up to mention the Solar Flares that impacted the Earth’s atmosphere bad enough that it scorched the land and all technology. leading to the world looking mostly like a desert when the Gladers “escape” the Maze

Cranks

informal term for people infected with the Flare virus. on the films, they’re only depicted as zombies while in the books, there are two versions. they’re still able to talk with heightened impulses, aggression, and cannabalistic tendencies before reaching the Gone. the virus continues to eat away at them which also led to a symptom of spotty memories

though, if you received the Swipe, the Flare can eat that away, granting your memories back just before you lose them again :)

the Gone

stage of the Flare where a person loses themself completely and become a mindless thing

the Swipe

futuristic device that allows WICKED to remove people’s memories as well as grant access to control them whenever they need to. planted into the children sent into the Maze trials

But yeah, now that that’s out of the way…..

Book 1:

our protagonist Thomas wakes up in a metal box elevator, stressed out of his mind with no memory of who he is and why he is here. the box ends up taking him to this are called the Glade where other boys his age(ish) reside and basically formed their own kind of community. all of them also suffer from amnesia, only remembering their names and ages but nothing else

the Glade also resides at the center of a giant Maze (which we find out later is actually a giant field trial made by WICKED/WCKD to study the stress receptors in the teens) which the boys have spent 3 years trying to solve in order to get out of there. then Thomas comes along and presses every wonky button (literally and figuratively) and speed runs their escape plan

doing so leads to the gang finding a way out and discovering an abandoned laboratory full of dead scientist bodies. there, they learn about the Scorch and the Flare before being whisked away by a “rescue force”

book 2 is phase two of the trails meanwhile movie 2 is Thomas and the gang breaking out before phase two can begin (this, leading to the canon divergence)

book 3 is phase three at the Last City and movie 3 is Tommy and the gang on a rescue mission where they need to infiltrate the Last City

annnnnd that’s Maze Runner. i will talk about newtmas in a different post but i am sleepy now bc it’s almost two (you are free to read my newtmas list posts tho)

anyway just know that they are weird about each other. one of the first descriptions Thomas used to describe Newt is having “cascading” hair (he has longer hair in the books) and likes to focus on his veins and arms. also Newt’s blatant jealousy at everyone Thomas talks to if it isn’t Minho (see Teresa, Aris, and Brenda)

AND WE ARE NOT EVEN TOUCHING THE FUCKING LETTERS FROM DEATH CURE!!!

[mikaharuka]

Status Update + My Return to ORV

Hello y'all! Despite my total radio silence here on Tumblr over... who knows how long, I'm doing just fine! I was on a writing hiatus for 6 months or so, and I also transitioned from grad school to industry (writing a master's thesis, defending it, graduating, moving across the country, a job search, so many interviews, finally getting a new job, moving across the country again, and settling into my new role).

In the past few months, I returned to the Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint and Scum Villain's Self Saving System fandoms (old faves of mine, but I was only ever a reader until recently). For those of you following my Winter Light Verse (still planning the continuation of that one out, and I hope to finally break the series hiatus earlier next year!), those two fandoms had a massive influence on my Verse. Especially in the case of ORV - so it feels like I'm finally moving back, however slowly. I'm excited to continue being active in all of those fandoms (along with S-Classes, which I recently ran into and love!)

As for what I'm doing right now? I took on the Froday Flash Fiction Challenge for December, where we're given a new prompt each day and I have the 24 hours to write for the prompt. I'm writing the work, Ad Astra Per Aspera and have actually kept up with the 600 words per day so far, which is a shocker for me. This fic is compatible with another fic I recently started, My Shining Star, My Guiding Light. Both of these fics are for the Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint fandom.

Info on both fics and the Verse are below, if you want to know more.

For those of you unfamiliar, the Winter Light Verse is my total rewrite and rebuild of the Twilight Saga, infused with Eastern themes and made very gay. The central ship of that series is Carlisle Cullen/Beau Swan, but there are several other pairs and characters that really bring the world out. Also, I had the realization the other day that I was basically writing a danmei novel with all the tropes, so that was a bit amusing. The main work is Apricity, and all of the other works in this series are either side stories or AU/spin-offs of some kind.

Ships: Carlisle Cullen/Beau Swan, Edward Cullen/Mike Newton, Alice Cullen/Jessamine Hale, Rosalie Hale/Eleanor Cullen Summary for the longfic rewrite, Apricity:

After Renee marries Phil and ropes Beau into family life, Beau moves to Forks, a town with a mystical aura. As Beau settles in, he gets closer to his father Charlie, his new friends, and the mysterious Cullens. After an accident lands Beau in the hospital where he meets the oldest Cullen sibling Carlisle, he begins to feel a strange draw to the man, notes an intricate mark, and knows for certain that something unnatural is afoot. A Twilight/Life and Death rewrite that starts on a similar premise, diverges very quickly, takes place in an entirely different world, leans more deeply into traditional/dark-erotic vampire themes, centers around an Eastern framework, and is very gay.

-

As for my current projects, both are for the Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint fandom and are compatible with each other. Both fics are both Joongdok (Yoo Joonghyuk/Kim Dokja) and Plotja (Secretive Plotter/Kim Dokja), but at the same time, they are written as the same person (I swear it makes sense!). Ad Astra is my current daily project, and I am slowly working through the next chapter on Star/Light as the logistics of my still-chaotic IRL situation settle a bit.

A fair warning, both of these fics contain NSFW content, though with Ad Astra, you can skip it as it is a series of snapshots and the NSFW chapters are noted as such in the title.

Title: My Shining Star, My Guiding Light Ship: Secretive Plotter/Kim Dokja, Yoo Joonghyuk/Kim Dokja, ABFD & Secretive Plotter & Sun Wukong & Uriel Rating: Explicit Summary:

There exists a dark, primal thread woven through this worldline that beckons the Secretive Plotter in like a siren song, and at its core stands the lovely siren himself. Kim Dokja. A familiar, soothing sensation washes over the outer god as he takes in the young man, and in that moment, the Secretive Plotter makes his final decision. He will have Kim Dokja for his own.

Title: Ad Astra Per Aspera Ship: Secretive Plotter/Kim Dokja, Yoo Joonghyuk/Kim Dokja, Kim Dokja & The Kkomas (especially [999]) Rating: Explicit (NSFW noted in chapter titles & can be skipped) Summary:

After Kim Dokja and Yoo Joonghyuk finish out their lives on Earth, they return to the N'Gai Forest to live out a peaceful eternity together. And despite the timeless nature of the domain, there is still something a little special about the snow and holiday vibes that they enjoy. In short, a series of snapshots of Kim Dokja's and Yoo Joonghyuk's life together in the N'Gai Forest, during the festive winter season. [Note - NSFW snapshots are indicated in the chapter titles as such and can be skipped if you wish to do so]

[thisbarbiereallylikesbirds]

Why Tang Shen is soo interesting to me

Okay with all the Nameless Trio content I’ve been posting I feel the need to let you guys know why I find Shen so interesting. This may be a long one but I have LOTS of thoughts so please hang tight.

“If we interfere Splinter will never move to New York and buy four baby turtles”

Donnie in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2012) S3 E19

First of all Shen is literally the reason the story happens in most iterations. If it weren’t for her death, Hamato Yoshi likely never would’ve moved to New York, never bought the turtles, and they never would’ve gotten mutated. Without her there’d be no story. And yet she’s barely ever mentioned in canon.

Now I could talk for ages about fridging women and why it’s a stupid out-dated, over-used, misogynistic trope. And I’m not even going to pretend that’s not what happened to her. But one of the main problems with fridging is the fact that after the woman’s death sets the plot into motion (usually for some sort of love interest) she’s eventually forgotten by the plot. Women in fiction deserve better treatment than that. Real women deserve better representation than that.

However there’s another way that characters who die before the story starts can be utilized. One that I’m absolutely OBSESSED with. And that is the idea of haunting the narrative. Two of the best examples that I can think of are Mara from She-Ra and Caleb Wittenbane from the Owl House. Both characters are dead before the series begins. For a while the only way that we know about them is through what the other characters tell us. And, of course, this is a very biased view of the person. Sometimes it’s very one dimensional. 

But even though we know almost nothing about them, they linger. They are everywhere in the story. So many things only happen because of them. Memories of Caleb are everywhere in Phillip’s mindscape. Hunter’s entire life is dictated by the memory of a man who died hundreds of years ago. And even the door, the things that brings Luz the the Boiling Isles and sets the whole story into motion only is opened for her because Caleb stole it from Belos and buried it in the backyard of his family home. We don’t know much about Mara but we know that Adora is in a way doomed to follow in her footsteps. 

“In every other universe Gwen Stacy falls for Spider-Man. And in every other universe…it doesn’t end well.”

Spider-Gwen in Across the Spider-Verse (2023)

So we’ve talked about out-of-universe stuff. But what about what’s in the actual story? Due to the crossovers we know that all the iterations of TMNT sort of exist in the same way all the universes exist in the Spider-Verse world. They all have their own dimension. I can’t help but think of the parallels not only between the worlds but the characters who live within them. Gwen Stacy dies in every universe but one. She knows this. Unfortunately, the universe where she survives isn’t exactly kind to her. She loses her best friend. She loses Miles. She loses her father. She loses any chance at having a normal life. 

In 2012 the turtles have a conversation with Shen where she is trying to pick between Oroku Saki and Hamato Yoshi. Of course they don’t know this at the time, but one of the choices will lead to her death. However, it will also lead to the world being saved from a variety of threats. But what if she did know? What if Shen knew that she would be sacrificing herself? What if she knew that in every other universe she was doomed to die? In every universe but one, that is.

Tang Shen is never said to be dead in ROTTMNT. But we only see her once in a movie poster. We know she exists but she has no relevance. As far as we know, she’s out there living her best life. So what is she like? What would a person be like in the one universe where she gets to live?

I really hope this wasn’t too long but thank you so much for reading this whole thing! If you want some content about Rise!Shen then visit the Nameless Trio tag on my blog, she’s one of the three main characters in that au.

[lupamoe]

I was wondering if you listen to "Alien Stage". If you haven't heard any of the songs, it's an animation project directed by Vivinos and Qmeng about a group of people participating in a death games singing competition in a dystopian world where human are colonialize by Alien. It have a deep lore in the series. But you can listen just to the songs, because each of the songs have the same theme of "Love" And the different types it's interpretation.

I want to suggest it to you because I think some of the lyrics of the song fits the story of the characters in Oshi no Ko. The best part is the song can be interpreted to different feeling of the characters.

My suggestion are "Black Sorrow" And "Cure".

And this is my interpretation to Aqua and Ruby internal struggle.

The song "Black Sorrow" takes the theme of longing and yearning for an unreachable love. But it can also be an interpretation of grieving someone you love and they are out of your reach. Forever yearning for their presence.

The original version of the song that's by the character "Ivan" Fits with Aqua. With how in the beginning of the song start calm like how he try to hide his pain of Ai's death but as the song progress the intensity of the voice gets stronger and you can feel the longing and regret. Despite his effort to hide his pain he's still scarred by Ai's tragedy and the last part of the song end with a climax of his voice, represent the huge feeling of grief he felt of Ai death.

In the cover version that's by the character "Mizi" Fits more how Ruby handles her grief. The song start off strong in contrast of the original version. The way Ruby handle her grief is in a much more uncontrollable, it have more rage to it. There's much more visible resentment. Especially after she discovered Gorou's death. And it's strengthen by how she does her revenge is much more impulsive that Aqua. It contrast how in the original version the voice have more control while the cover version have a more uncontained rage.

The song "Cure" Represent the desperate plea for their pain to be notice. To finally their pain to be console. A plea to be "seen". In my opinion the first verse of the song fits Ruby with how in the lyrics it's a plea for someone to console them. To relieve them of their pain. Like how Ruby longing for Ai and Gorou presence as the people she loves. While the second verse fits Aqua with the lyrics is putting him in the position of someone who will carry the burden of someone pain and he will let them ruin him. But in the end there still a desire in him to be notice too, to be notice of his pain. In the chorus part they take turn to lead and support each other voice. As if they are reaching each other to finally connected to one another. This song can also be a representation that the twins can't show their real feeling to protect themselves in the entertainment industry. It's basically their expressing their pain through the song.

I hope you will check out the other songs. The songs are in Korea but each MV provides subtitles so you don't have to worry.

hi! I actually know and LOVEE Alien stage. I have fanart that I made about it right here in tumblr where I depicted Aqua and Ai in the cover style of Cure :)

Anyways, back to your ask!! Thank you for writing this beautiful analysis!

First. Before we get to the state of matters, I heavily believe that Alien Stage is a perfect and direct commentary of late stage capitalism. It probably wasn't intentional, because the main team of alnst is undying love and regret, but it plays so well into the statement you're saying I had to expound on this first.

Late stage capitalism is what is happening to the world right now. Not only does the ideology and theory speculate on the fact that human services are treated as the same or the vis a vis as direct and pricable commodities to be sold the same as products, the entertainment industry or the K-pop genre really accelerates the dystopic reality of this subject.

There are wonderful videos talking about this topic in a more nuanced and detailed way, if you're interested in them, give it a watch!

Anyways, I do think that alnst is a perfect representation of the K-pop industry. Like yeah it’s a sci-fi death game and the contestants literally get killed if they don’t perform well, but thematically?? It hits way too close to how idols are treated irl. Not in the literal death way (obviously), but in how the industry works. if you don’t stand out, if you don’t build a strong enough fanbase, you just… disappear. You debut, you promote, and if you’re not enough, not popular enough, not pretty enough, not viral enough, not sponsored enough, you’re basically forgotten.

And what really drives it home is how the aliens treat the contestants. They’re not seen as beings with mistakes, flaws, emotions. They’re just… entertainment. Just singing monkeys on a stage. And that is real to how idols are often treated. Misused. Mismanaged. Abused. As products, not people. it’s all about views, rankings, merch sales, stream counts. if you can’t sell, you’re useless to the system. and alnst doesn’t even try to hide that. they made it the entire plot.

I'm telling you, peak late stage capitalism commentary. Humans literally reduced to performers fighting for survival for an ounce of success in front of an audience that doesn’t care if they live or die, as long as they’re entertaining. Everything is monetized. everything is about number value. there’s no humanity left, no soul left, just content.

Also, the fact that the audience in alnst gets to vote and judge without consequences? Does that sound familiar to you? It's not just the system that's broken. it's the complicity of the consumers, too. The idea that fans in real life (or alien overlords) think they care, but ultimately treat performers as disposable once they stop being interesting. It’s very “support the arts until it’s inconvenient.”, And its not even arts. It's pure slapstick entertainment is what these aliens look at these humans. Same goes in real life.

The way that aliens treat humans in alnst is the same how people treat idols. its called this word called 'dehumanization'

The way you describe Black Sorrow having two contrasting interpretations through Ivan and Mizi covers, like they're contrasting both Aqua and Ruby is actually genius. I didn't think about that.

I love the idea that Aqua’s grief is oppressed and hidden behind perfection (considering he does hide his true emotions in canon) but it builds in intensity like a dam cracking until the final flood of emotion. I feel like that happened in the manga as well. That idea of putting on a calm face while rotting from the inside... it's what makes his character so devastating.

And then Ruby’s version being all sharp edges and uncontrolled feeling is exactly how she handles grief. She's fucking impulsive and her greatest weakness is that she acts before she thinks and all of it comes from a place of bottomless pain and confusion and rage from getting the last to know about the truth about her father. Even when she’s smiling after she gets her revenge arc, there’s something uncanny behind it. Like she's trying to imitate something pure. Like Ai.

Then your breakdown of Cure is wonderful in the best way. That desperate desire to be seen, not as an idol or a “perfect” anything, but as a human being who’s suffering — someone who they can hug and fucking understand what they're carrying... it’s so them. Ruby longing to be held again by the people she lost, Aqua carrying everyone's burden and "fixing" peoples problems instead of his as a coping mechanism. And then… the idea that they alternate who leads and who supports in the chorus… that’s such a beautiful image of how twins could be for each other, if they’d just stop hiding.

Also the way you tied this back to how they can’t show their real feelings because of the industry? OWWWWW that hurts.

This is genuinely such a meaningful and emotional take. I love it so much I kinda want to use it in the fic somehow LOL. But I'm scared that I'll ruin it with my lukewarm writing that I'll just keep it as a suggestion for now.

Thank you for this ask!!! <3333