#Well...she's dead so she really can't judge you either way | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mediocrecowboyhat · 21 days ago

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All hope | Jack Marston x fem!reader

Like a ghost unable to move on, Jack wanders along the border of Mexico and the US after killing Edgar Ross. Not wanting to go back home just yet, he meets a woman, who is about to change his life for the better.

I only recently started to play rdr1 and haven't gotten to the part where you play as Jack yet, so I can only hope that I managed to get his character right in here

Word count: 5.5k

Tags: major spoilers for rdr1, she/her pronouns for reader, reader also speaks Spanish, mentions of loss and grief

Edgar Ross is dead, his body now floating somewhere in the San Luis River and so is Jack, in a sense. It's been how many days now, since he had killed that godforsaken man? He can't tell. All he knows, is that he's been wandering along the banks, along the border of Mexico and the US, unable to move on. Where would he go anyways? Back home? If he can even call it that anymore. Nothing awaits him at the empty ranch, only two graves on a hill.

Edgar Ross is dead, but so are his parents. He has avenged his father, but that won't bring either of them back, will it? Revenge, he has read about it in his storybooks many times before, but no description seems to be accurate to the real deal. Usually the main character feels, what? Fulfilled? Satisfied? All he feels is, well, nothing at all.

Edgar Ross is dead and he does not feel the way he had expected, what he had sought after. That rage, that grief, both still roar inside him, even after he had put a bullet in it's source. No, revenge is a fool's game after all. It doesn't change his situation, but taking a life sure changes him as a person. None of the man's blood has gotten on him, there was too big of a distance between them for that to happen.

But when Jack kneels down by the shore to wash his face, he could swear that the skin on his hands is drenched in red. The water feels cool and refreshing against his face, somewhat snapping him out of his grim thoughts. Then he takes a moment to examine his reflection in the river, but a stranger is staring back at him, blurred by the rushing stream.

It's only fitting, really. He entered his mission for revenge as a man and has left as a ghost. He fears that it won't get better either, fears that he will never feel complete or content again. A sudden shuffling behind him rips him out of his daze and he whips his entire body around. Is it the law? Have they found the body already and are now here to arrest him?

A mental image of himself at the gallows appears before his inner eye and panic settles in. What would his mother think of him? When all she ever wanted was for him to live a good life, an honest life. Look what has become of her little boy, of little Jack. When his head snap up to gaze at the person infront of him, he freezes.

It's a woman, her wide eyes trained on the gun that he had instinctively fished out of it's holster. She's beautiful, no, stunning the way she stands there on that hill. If someone would ask him for a description, he'd say that she reminds him of the moon, providing a guiding light during the blackest of nights.

Or maybe a single, blooming rose surrounded by a field of dead plants. All air is knocked out of his lungs and for a brief moment he forgets himself, forgets how terrified she must be right now.

"I'm sorry, Miss. You startled me.", he murmurs quietly, perhaps even too quiet for her to hear and puts the gun away.

She answers, though on Spanish. He doesn't understand a single word, but judging by her expression and gestures, she might be apologizing for the same reason. When her eyes land on his clueless face, her own lights up in realization.

"Ah, sorry, I thought you- oh, well." The laugh leaving her lips is sweet and has a beautiful ring to it. "I didn't mean to scare you."

When Jack notices that she's waiting for an answer from him and he's been doing nothing, but gawking at her like a complete fool, he awkwardly clears his throat.

"No need to apologize." He stands up and swats off the dust from his pants. "I was about to leave anyways."

"No, don't let me disturb you. I was just passing through." Her eyes dart around, over the ground, as if she's searching for something. "This spot usually has herbs."

That's when he let's his own gaze wander as well, but he doesn't believe he will find any. He remembers his father coming home with some herbs every now and then. They put it in his mother's stew, but nothing was ever able to save the taste of her meals. The memory sends a stabbing pain through his chest and he immediately banishes it to the far back of his mind.

"I won't be in your way for longer than necessary, Miss.", he says and makes his way towards the horse.

Although it seems like a pair of invisible strings are pulling him to the woman. Jack feels the urge to stay and listen to her voice some longer. Her head turns to where he's standing, next to his stallion and he almost squirms under her intense stare. It's as if she's examining him.

"Are you hungry?", she then suddenly asks and he blinks a few times.

"What?"

"I mean no offense, but you look like you haven't eaten in a while. I have food at home, that only needs to be warmed up."

That he hasn't and now that she's pointing it out, his stomach begins to rumble. All he has done the past days was move around and occasionally stop to rest. He shoves his hand into his satchel and finds it empty of any food. He could swear that he had packed an apple and assorted biscuits. Has he really eaten them all?

Even if he did, those things aren't nearly enough to keep a person going for several days. Should he go with her? The wiser choice would be to leave, to get as much distance between him and this place as possible, before anyone finds the body.

Oh dear Lord, now he's thinking of Edgar Ross again.

"I'm sorry, if I was too pushy.", the woman speaks up, ripping him out of his thoughts and Jack hastily shakes his head.

"No, I just- I'm a bit distracted, is all." He takes off his hat to runs his hand through his filthy hair. "I think I'd like a meal, thanks."

That gets a wide smile from her, one that would have any sane man drop down to his knees instantly. When she goes to climb onto horseback, he extends his arms to help her, but she politely waves him off. Once he's sitting in his saddle, she points to the right and they ride off.

Her hands are holding onto his jacket, on his sides and he gets so distracted that he almost misses how she gives him her name. It's fitting, he thinks, suiting her quite fine.

"I'm Jack. Jack Marston."

"It's nice to meet you, Jack Marston.", she replies and he's tempted to disagree.

She wouldn't say that if she knew what he had done.

"Nice to meet you too, Miss.", he mumbles instead.

"So what are you doing out here?", she asks and he chews on the inside of his cheek.

"Just passin' by.", he grumbles, the words coming out flat.

Much to his relief she notices that he's in no mood to elaborate on that and so she refrains from questioning him about it any further. It doesn't take long to get to her home, which he can't say is too much of a surprise, considering she walked by foot towards the river. The property isn't anything big.

There's a house, that could easily keep a small family, without it ending up too cramped. Infront of it is a garden in which she seems to be growing some vegetables. Over to the side is a coop and the chickens are roaming around freely. Another thing that catches his eye, is the lack of a wagon and horses and if he remembers this area on the map correctly, then the next town is quite a distance away.

Although she owns no horses, there's still a hitching post to the side and he leaves his stallion there. Once again, she waves off all offer to help her dismount. His gaze wanders over her home a second time, starting to feel awkward. Now that he thinks about it, wouldn't he be intruding on her and her family?

"Is it really alright that I'm eatin' with you?", he asks, the question leaving his lips, before he even considers it.

"I invited you, didn't I?", she answers, a hint of amusement accompanying her words.

There's more of it gleaming in her eyes when she throws him a quick glance over her shoulder.

"What about your family?"

"Don't worry, I'm alone here." Then she feigns seriousness and raises her finger in a conspiratory way. "But no funny business, Jack Marston. I can work a gun."

The threat is half-hearted and lacks all bite. She's not really believing that he will cause any trouble, but he still plays along and lifts his hands in surrender.

"Wouldn't dream of it, Miss."

Inside, she ushers him to take a seat at the dining table and tells him to make himself feel at home, while she heats up the food. He watches her rummage around in her bag, before fishing out a handful of fresh herbs. She must have managed to collect some then, before running into him.

Now that her back is turned to him, he takes off his hat and reaches up to touch his hair. It's greasy and hasn't been washed in ages, so he'd rather much prefer keeping the hat on. Though he feels a bit rude doing that. Then his gaze drifts to the interior, which isn't a lot.

There are the necessities, furniture one finds in every house, some embroidery and photographs hanging on the walls and a lot of potted plants. They're breathing some fresh life into the old building, with all the green and the occasional colored blossom. Two doors are behind him, probably leading to bedrooms and maybe a bathroom. Ah, what he wouldn't give for a bath.

Maybe he could ask her for that? Since she seems to be nothing but kind and inviting, but he wouldn't want to inconvenience her like that. She's already going above and beyond in his eyes, by preparing food. Lost in his own thoughts, Jack doesn't notice her staring at him at first and he straightens his back.

Judging by the look on her face, she must have said something and is now waiting for an answer.

"I'm sorry, Miss. I didn't catch that.", he awkwardly admits and fidgets with the hat in his hands.

"I was asking where you're from. If you don't mind sharing.", she repeats with that sweet laugh of hers and begins to set the table.

When he crossed the border, he didn't exactly intent on letting anyone know who he is or where he's from. Just in case someone would find Edgar Ross. Jack's initial plan was to slip in and then out again, completely unnoticed and then head back to the ranch.

Well, obviously that didn't happen and now he's sitting here with this wonderful woman, who, for some reason, is treating him similar to an old friend. He's convinced that he doesn't deserve her kindness and she definitely wouldn't be extending it, if she'd only know about his sins.

But she brought him to her home, so it's only fair and proper that he tells her about his. Besides, it doesn't look like she's hiding a whole squad of detectives in her basement or something. Perhaps in the kitchen cabinets then? The mental image makes him almost huff.

"Near Blackwater. My family- I mean, I own a ranch there."

At his correction, she briefly tilts her head to the side, as if wondering what he meant by that. Thankfully, she doesn't question it and instead fills his bowl with a steaming hot stew. The smell makes his mouth water instantly and when he picks up the spoon, his hand almost trembles.

After thanking her yet again for the meal, he tries his first bite and it nearly brings him to tears. When was the last time he had eaten a home cooked meal? The stew doesn't remind him of home, it's way too good for that, but it fills him with the same warmth. Jack grips the spoon so tight, that the whites of his knuckles are showing and he forces the food down his dry throat.

"Is something wrong?", his host, who has taken a seat infront of him, asks with worry lacing her voice.

That's when he realizes how his reaction must look like to her and his eyes go wide in horror.

"No! No, it ain't like that." His gaze drops down onto the bowl and a smile tugs at the corners of his mouth, the first one since forever. "It's delicious. Really."

In a matter of seconds, he clears his bowl and she goes to give him a refill. Although he's pretty certain that he could finish the whole pot in one sitting, he still tries to deny the second serving. But he's half-assing his protests, so she continues, as if he never said anything. By the time both of them are full, he helps her wash off the dishes or at least attempts to do so.

"It's the least I can do.", Jack insists.

"Don't be silly! You're my guest.", she insists as well.

All the talking and bickering makes him feel like a person again and so dread hits him like a slap to the face, when he realizes that it's time to go. Through the windows, he sees that she sun is setting and he doesn't want to abuse the hospitality of his lovely host. The thought of leaving her pains him, something telling him that he should stay, that things well be alright with her.

"Thank you for everything, Miss, but I think I should go now."

"What? In this darkness?", she argues and vaguely gestures towards one of the windows.

"I wouldn't wanna impose on you for longer than necessary.", he counters, but she firmly shakes her head.

"Nonsense. It would be rude of me to send you out in the middle of the night." Without so much as giving him room to protest, she moves over to take his jacket. "Come on, I'll run you a bath too. No offense, but you kinda need it."

That gets a chuckle out of him.

"None taken."

As he already expected, behind one of the doors is a bathroom. A tub is ready and waiting in the middle, to the side a lit hearth to keep the room warm and next to the tub is a small table with soap and a cloth. Inside here as well, there are plants placed on every surface. Very cozy.

After he takes in everything and inhales the soapy scent, she comes rushing in with a pile of clothes.

"These belonged to my father. They should fit.", she says, putting them down on a stool.

"I can also put these back on.", he suggests, tugging at his shirt and she looks at him, as if he grew a second head.

"What good will the bath be, if you change into your dirty clothes? No, no, I'll wash them tomorrow."

Before he could tell her that it won't be necessary, she already vanishes out of the room and shuts the door behind her.

Once he's finished and slipped into the new pair of clothes, that are slightly too big for him, but still good to wear, he steps out of the bathroom. While he was in there, she had prepared a spot to sleep for him. What he at first assumed was a sofa over at the wall, was in fact a bed. It didn't look like one before, with the amount of pillows she had thrown on. Must have been intentional.

With a full stomach and as clean as a baby, he drifts off to sleep faster than he had ever before. In the next morning, when they're both up and eating breakfast, the dance continues.

"I can't just send you off with dirty clothes. Let me wash them."

"Alright, ma'am."

Then in the noon, when the clothes are washed, he approaches her outside, the laundry basket on the ground beside her.

"And you're just gonna put on wet clothes? Nonsense, they need to dry first."

"Sounds fine to me, Miss."

The clothes take all day to dry in the sun and by the time they're done, it's suddenly too late to leave again. What terrible host would kick him out in the middle of the night, she'd argue yet a second time and Jack would just nod along in agreement.

The next day, when he catches her preparing a basket with vegetables and eggs, looking like she's about to leave, he steps in her way.

"You're walking?", he asks to which she nods. "Let me give you a ride on my horse."

She doesn't argue and with her hands full, she this time accepts his assistance. His calloused hands find her waist and he hoists her up onto horseback. The contact sends a jolt through his body and he hides his flushed face under the rim of his hat.

"How come you don't have any horses?", he questions, once they're on their way.

"I didn't have any money when I lost my family. Had to sell the horses and the wagon.", she explains in a matter of fact way.

Jack doesn't answer, but instead thinks about the wagon he has back on his ranch. It wouldn't be too difficult to transport all her chickens over to Beecher's Hope and then she'd never have to walk again. Her vegetable garden would need to be sacrificed though. Unless they fill the back of the wagon with dirt and dump the crops on it. Would that work?

On the third day, it's obvious that none of them want to say their goodbyes. The excuses become more ridiculous and shallow, until it's nothing but a running joke. Jack starts to help around the small farm and they develop a routine over time. They share the work and one day, after taking a bath, he stops to inspect his reflection in the mirror.

Staring back at him, isn't the stranger from weeks ago anymore. It's Jack Marston or more so a glimpse of the Jack Marston he could be, if he'd stay by her side. He still isn't a welcoming sight for sore eyes, he thinks. That mop on his head that he calls hair, still frames his face in a disheveled way. That nose, still crooked from the time he had broken it.

But the crease between his eyebrows isn't as deep anymore and the corners of his mouth aren't constantly pointing down. There are still remnants of his signature scowl, the Marston special that he has inherited from his father, but he looks closer to relaxed than to brooding.

When he steps into the main living area, he finds it empty. Jack turns his head to look through the window and finds his sweetheart sitting comfortable on the porch. It feels wrong to refer to her as his host at this point. If one would ask him, he'd call her his savior, his personal guardian angel, but she'd smack his arm at that.

So sweetheart it is, though she has no clue about the nickname. It's a secret between Jack and whoever is looking over him. He doesn't believe that he will ever have the guts to tell her how he feels. His gratitude for her generosity, patience and kindness, he tries to shower her in everyday. What she had done for him, is more than he could ever repay.

But he has also fallen for her. It was inevitable, really, from the day they met. The way she had appeared in his life, like a gift from the heavens, like a sweet apology for putting him through all hell. Jack had crushes before obviously, but none of them had hit him like this, like a freight train going at full speed.

Maybe he should have insisted on leaving, instead of allowing these things to develop, because he knows that he doesn't deserve her. She's too wonderful, too good. Guilt is gnawing at him, day in day out, because he still hasn't told her about the baggage he carries. It doesn't feel right to keep her in the dark, when she has been nothing but honest.

Sighing, he walks out and shuts the door behind him. She beams at him, delighted to see him and he could have screamed and punched the air right then and there. The setting sun drowns the farm in a deep orange and his knees go weak at the sight of her. Excitedly, she pats the spot next to her and he joins her on the wooden bench.

"I got us something from town. For a job well done.", she tells him and hands him a glass.

With a triumphant grin, she holds up a bottle of whisky and opens it up with a plop. He forces a smile when she fills up their glasses, not wanting to sour the mood, but she notices. She always does.

"What's wrong?", she asks and places a warm hand on his knee.

The contact makes it difficult to grasp a single clear thought and he downs his whisky for courage.

"I gotta confess something, Miss." He swallows the lump in his throat. "And I won't blame you, if you decide to hate me afterwards."

"I could never hate you, Jack Marston."

Just you wait.

And so he lays down all his cards, telling her exactly what he did and what had lead to it. From his father being forced to hunt down his former friends or more so family to Jack wandering along the river. He tells her about Edgar Ross, the reason why he has lost both his parents and that he's now floating somewhere in the San Luis River.

Unless he's been washed up to the shore or someone has fished him out, that is. By the end of it, he's gripping the glass like his life depends on it and he stares at his feet, unable to meet her gaze. The bench creaks softly when she leans back and the long stretched silence torments him.

"That's why you were so jumpy that day.", she speaks up after a while and he nods.

"I thought you were the law or something."

There is a long pause.

"He sounds like a bad man. This Ross. If you ask me, he kind of had it coming.", she then answers and his head snaps to the side. Her expression is one of confusion. "What?"

"You ain't upset?"

"Why would I be?"

"I killed a man and I kept that from you.", he points out and she takes a sip from her whisky.

"You really thought I didn't know that you did something wrong? Do you not remember what you looked like when we met?", she argues and he runs a hand over his face.

Hearing this, he's not sure if she's a saint or a fool.

"So you knew I was bad news and still took me in?", he questions, almost sounding accusatory.

"You weren't bad news. You were..." The liquor in her glass sloshes in circles, as she swirls it around. "Lost."

Lost.

She hit the mark with that description. Jack Marston was a lost soul during that time, wandering the border like a ghost that simply couldn't move on. This woman, his sweetheart, has taken him in, clothed and fed him. Now he's admitting that he's done one of the most horrible crimes one could think of and she's not even judging him a little bit.

No, she says that Edgar Ross had it coming. He doesn't know if he should laugh or cry or do both.

"Thank you. For everything.", is all he manages to bring out.

Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end at some point. He knows it, she knows it. It was only a matter of time until they had to part ways, with Beecher's Hope waiting for him back by Blackwater. The way she's standing by his horse and biting down on her lip, as if to prevent it from quivering.

"I'll write to you.", he says and wraps his arms around her.

"Promise?"

"Promise."

He cups her cheeks and stares into her lovely face, memorizing every detail, before leaving. A voice deep within him demands to lean forward and kiss her, but he knows better. A kiss would make things harder and so he let's go.

She has packed food for him, for his journey back home. Calling it home doesn't sit right with him, not when it's abandoned and empty. After a long time of riding along dirt roads, he finally reaches it and it looks just as hopeless as it did the day he left to take revenge.

His boots sound hollow inside his house and he wrinkles his nose at the thick layer of dust that coats every piece of furniture. It's strange to be all alone again, to not hear her voice from the other room or feel her gentle touch on his back whenever she talked to him. There's also an alarming lack of plants in here, he now notices.

So at the next best opportunity, he goes out to town to buy pots. In Blackwater, he grows back to his jumpy self. He gets a sense that every pair of eyes is watching him, judging him. Have the news gotten around that Edgar Ross is dead? Has anyone found his body? Although terrified of the answer, he still buys a newspaper.

His eyes dart from article to article, but none covers the death of the retired Detective. Perhaps the river has carried his body away, to a place unknown or unreachable to man. God, he sure hopes so.

The following days, he busies himself, working hard to fix the house and the rest of the property. It's partly to distract himself from the sense of impending doom and partly, because he has gotten so used to the physical labour back on her farm. When he's not imagining to be gunned down by a group of armed lawmen coming for his hide, then his mind is filled with thoughts of her.

Sometimes he gets so lost in them, that he hears her laughter in the wind or sees her dress in the corner of his eyes. It drives him mad in the worst and best possible ways. At times, when he wakes up from a particularly realistic dream, he swears he could smell her cooking in the air.

Jack writes letters regularly, the moment he gets an answer from her. It tends to take a while, since she has to walk on foot to the next town, but he learned to be patient for her. He mainly writes about his work on the ranch, joking about how much he misses her home cooked meals. His dreams, thoughts and feelings, he keeps to himself though.

Some of her letters are partly written in Spanish in an attempt to teach him. During his stay at her farm, he had picked up a couple words, but she makes a point to continue the lessons. Oh, how he yearns to hear those sentences from her lips, to meet her again in general.

It torments him, this distance. He feels elevated thanks to her, but also more lonely than ever. One day, he tells himself that it's enough, that he must see her again otherwise he feels like he will perish. Though he can't just show up empty handed.

Should he get a bouquet of flowers? He knows what her favorite ones are, but they will whither and die by the times he gets there. Jewelry then? He has never seen her wear any, but that doesn't necessarily mean she doesn't like it.

No, none of them are enough. If he'd have any ounce of decency, then he'd take the moon and stars down for her, but alas that's out of his capabilities. Instead, he heads to town, buys the sturdiest Shire the stable has to offer and attaches it to his wagon. They could throw the chickens into the back and bring them here.

But what if she doesn't want move to him, to the states? Well, then both the Shire and wagon stay there. Jack can't stand the thought of having his sweetheart walk one more mile in this heat. On his way to her house, his mind is spinning and running laps. What will he say? Most importantly, what will he do?

He imagines scooping her up in his arms at her doorstep and kissing her senseless, like they do in those romance novels. Though something tells him that he should refrain from doing that. He has never been a ladies man and smooth is at the very bottom of his characteristics. If he'd attempt anything of that sort, they would both fall and probably break a limb or two, if he knows himself right.

The palms of his hands are growing clammy from sweat and his heart drums against his ribcage, when her house appears in the distance. He parks the wagon to the side and jumps off the driver's seat, kicking up some dust in the process. Nervous and fidgety, he takes off his hat and quickly pats down his dark hair to make it look like he at least put some effort into looking decent.

The chickens are outside, as always and some of them flock to his legs, having recognized him. Their presence has a strange relaxing effect of him and he takes in a deep breath, before knocking at the door. Nobody answers and he can't hear any movement coming from inside. So he slowly opens the door and pokes his head through the crack, while calling out her name.

No answer and he let's himself in. Surely, she won't mind after he had practically lived here for a month or two. Her basket is in it's usual spot, so she couldn't have gone into town. The gears in his head are working on overdrive, as he thinks about the many different possibilities. What if something happened to her during his absence?

Quickly, he banishes those grim thoughts and steels his nerves. Obviously she must have headed to the river then, to pick some of the herbs, she mentioned on their first meeting. As much as he'd prefer to avoid the river, his legs carry him towards it nonetheless.

Jack stops at a hill and gazes down at the shore. Someone is crouching down on the ground and cutting some plants free. His heart skips a beat at the sight and he finds himself unable to move a single muscle. She's beautiful, the way she kneels there, her dress pooling around her legs. How on earth he had gone without her, back at his ranch, is beyond him.

The thought of leaving her again seems oh so ridiculous now. Slowly, she rises back to her feet and he watches her stuff the herbs into her bag. The knife she's holding, she slides into some kind of holster attached to her belt and then she turns around. Their eyes lock and Jack forgets to breath for a moment.

A strong sense of déjà-vu overcomes him and he recalls the two of them standing here, not too long ago. Only now their spots are reversed and she's the one gawking at him, as if she had seen a ghost. The surprised expression on her face is quickly replaced by pure joy.

They both move at the same time and basically crash into each other for a bone crushing hug. Her fingers are digging into his back and he buries his face into the curve of her neck. Inhaling, he fills his nose with her scent and lets her overpower his senses entirely.

"You're here!", she exclaims in both shock and delight and they pull away to look at one another.

"I'm here."

Not knowing what possesses him, he slides one hand to the back of her neck, the other around her waist and presses his lips on hers. It was an instinct, kissing her, an act purely based on impulse. His emotions are boiling over and he pours it all into this moment.

She doesn't move and he fears that she will reject him, but then she grab the collar of his shirt, deepening the kiss. He melts into her, their bodies fitting together like two puzzle pieces.

Edgar Ross is dead, but his ghost isn't haunting Jack anymore.

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musashi · 16 days ago

Note

I very much appreciate your valiant Carol Holiday Defense

Because while I do dislike Carol, due to how Noelle is. Not Doing Great and how Carol is at least in part responsible for that, I also- even more than I dislike Carol- dislike how a lot of people are going about disliking her, so you are actively sparing me from the phenomenon of having to Defend The Thing You Don't Like

Like, I want to discuss how the way that Carol has responded to Dess' disappearance/possible assumed death (because it's not really clear if anyone other than Noelle believes that she's alive which is Cool but also Angst) has affected Noelle and Kris and their ability to heal from that loss, but that's hard when people's perspective on Carol is just "Abusive mother" and not "Grieving mother whose methods of coping with her older daughter's absence and husband's terminal illness is having negative effects on her daughter (And also the close family friend of Kris who may have been in some way involved in the Dess Thing)"

Thank you for helping correct the misunderstandings around her character, because there's so much that could be analyzed that just. Isn't, and can't be, because people refuse to actually engage with her character

fandom's lack of nuance has been hell on earth to exist in proximity to for the past like, half a decade when all the covid normies joined in. what kills me is how often you see this in fandom where the characters and themes of the story encourage deep thinking about that nuance. without fail, every time, it goes right over everyone's heads.

carol holiday's biggest crime is that she is so lost within herself that she cannot see how pushing her daughter is not helping her. she clearly cares about noelle and wants her to succeed and come into herself, but her methods of trying to draw that strength out of noelle are only making her recede into herself more. none of that is because carol is an abusive mother who is cruel to her daughter, all of that is because carol is 1. a grieving victim who probably does not have a good handle on herself, and 2. simply a person who is imperfect, just like anyone else.

will this affect noelle in the long-term? yes! does noelle likely have complicated feelings about her mother? abso-fucking-lutely! but we literally do not know enough about carol to be making such a severe call on who she is as a person like. its driving me crazy. all we know about her is incredibly sympathetic, as well!

paranoid: her daughter is dead/missing

controlling: her daughter is dead/missing

cold and cruel to susie: you mean the strange girl in her house, with the reputation for being a dangerous bully, who is PLAYING HER DEAD DAUGHTER'S GUITAR?

has a favourable opinion on the dreemurrs: uh, yeah, duh.

tends to throw herself into her work at the expense of her relationships: SHE IS GRIEVING. THIS IS A FORM OF COPING. THIS IS LITERALLY WHAT I DO. IT DOESN'T MEAN I DON'T CARE ABOUT MY LOVED ONES AND IT DOESN'T MEAN THAT FOR CAROL EITHER.

she is hurting her daughter. but she can do that without being abusive. people hurt people they love and want to protect/nurture all the time. that's a part of existing. literally an unavoidable part of the human experience. a grieving mother with no social support who is desperately trying to keep her shit together and run a town, who comes home every night to two empty fucking rooms belonging to her dead daughter and sick husband, IS PROBABLY GOING TO FUCK UP A BIT AND MAKE SOME SERIOUS MISTAKES. if she was Normal about any of this she wouldn't be realistic or interesting.

carol holiday resembles my shitty abusive mom in every way shape and form. she looks like her, talks like her, acts like her, saves face like her. but judging the content of her character based on something as fucking stupid as "she acts like my mom i hate" is the most mind-numbingly stupid fucking take on a character i think i could ever have, and i'm 30 years old and pay taxes and my shitty dead mom really doesn't factor into how i engage with Story.

the people saying the end of the weird route "proves" she's the knight is the dumbest shit in the world too. because she called kris. and has a completely unique speech bubble from the mysterious voice that's been calling kris previously. somehow this proves something. don't fucking ask me what.

i am so tired.

#wendy answers #shayminlucario07 #deltarune #utdr #carol holiday

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thecarnivorousmuffinmeta · 1 year ago

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What if that night in Godric's hollow Lily chose to let Voldemort kill Harry and stepped aside when Voldemort asked her to?

Self-preservation kicked in! No one knows how they will react facing death. She should not be blamed for protecting herself.

Would she be honest and tell people what really happened or make up some believable story? What would happen to her after that night? Does she leave England? How would the Order/Sirius/Dumbledore react to the events? Would Severus go after Lily and tell her he is her hero? Would this be a better AU for Lily and the wizard world?

Woof.

Well.

It's not good.

Would She Be Honest and Tell People What Happened?

We don't really know much about Lily's character is the thing. I make a lot of things up for my own benefit, but that's my taking and running with the very little we see in canon.

We really don't know how she'd react.

The way I characterize her? Feeling guilty over her husband's death (who died for her and Harry) and the fact that she survived her son (who she perhaps could have protected) she'll confess to what happened. She wants people to blame and hate her so she can punish herself for this.

And judge and punish her they do as this is something the Order and the greater public just can't understand. I'm sure rumors of how and why Lily was spared also fly and soon Lily goes from the truth of simply stepping aside (and being spared because of Snape) to having slept with Voldemort to save her life to being his spy the entire time.

What Would Happen to Her After that Night?

The gossip against her is massive and I imagine the Order never quite trusts her again. They may not kick her out, though I'm sure some (certainly Sirius who is mad with grief over James's death) vote for it. Lily may leave of her own free will out of guilt and so as not to give the Order a black eye.

The Prophet may or may not run smear campaigns against her both to distract from the realities of the Ministry not managing anything against You-Know-Who and because this is such a shocking awful story.

Lily becomes persona non grata but is presumably left alone by the Death Eaters as Voldemort chose to spare her life and the order has been passed down through the ranks (and as Voldemort is alive he keeps Bella and the Lestranges and Barty in check in a way he didn't at this point in canon).

Lily lives a miserable life in which her husband and son are both dead, she's of no help to the cause, and she's trying to get on with it.

How Would the Order/Sirius/Dumbledore React?

See above but I imagine ostracization.

Sirius would never forgive Lily for James having died and Lily just selfishly allowing Harry to be killed. I imagine he'd blame her in his mind and believe that she had betrayed James personally by doing this. Not to mention what kind of a person/Gryffindor steps aside to let her baby be murdered?

The Order at large would likely have mixed opinions but the Weasleys for example would vocally condemn Lily and despise her for this.

Dumbledore would, I imagine, think much lesser of Lily and start saying things he says about Merope about how Lily just didn't love her son enough/wasn't a very strong woman. He wouldn't condemn her quite as much as Sirius or Molly but there'd be an undertone of "this happened because you are weak".

Would Severus Go After Lily and Tell Her He's Her Hero?

Severus is home free, you bet your ass he does.

Lily's probably out of the Order, James Potter his greatest enemy is dead, Sirius is out of the picture because of James's death, even the hellspawn Harry Potter is dead and out of the way.

They can now go back to exactly what they were and the Dark Lord did hold to his promise after all (and oh dear god Severus betrayed him behind his back, hope he doesn't find out about this).

I imagine Severus would try to reconnect and either:

lie about being a Death Eater entirely (probably won't work)

say he's realized the error of his ways, admit to giving the information to Dumbledore to save Lily's life, but he can't leave the Death Eaters because of the mark/he'll certainly be killed

Probably he goes with option 2 as he can't exactly pretend he never held his views or wasn't a Death Eater at all and he firmly believes that he took this huge risk, saved her life, and he's completely redeemed now.

Would This Be a Better AU for the Wizarding World and Lily?

Well.

Lily's son and husband died horribly, she's haunted by survivor's guilt forever, all her friends hate her and she's completely isolated, Snape is back on her doorstep believing she should be grateful to him for his actions and he deserves instant forgiveness, and the Dark Lord is still alive and well, has the future minister's son in his pocket, has infiltrated the government completely, and can take over any time he pleases with one out of two prophecy children dead (and Neville... probably doesn't last long after this).

So.

No.

It's better for 0 people.

It's actually much worse for everyone except Tom.

Tom is enjoying not being a wraith in Quirrel's head, thank you very much.

#harry potter #harry potter meta #harry potter headcanon #lily evans #severus snape #anti severus snape #sirius black #anti sirius black #albus dumbledore #anti albus dumbledore #the order of the phoenix #anti the order of the phoenix #meta #headcanon #opinion

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prismuffin · 1 year ago

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Could we get some Ethan hunt x old teammates m!Reader, where they have a kinda love/hate relationship yk? Were teammates because maybe the reader did something Ethan and the whole corporation didn't see fit so they went into hiding. But now (speaking of the latest movie) Ethan needs help and since he knows that he can trust the reader he tries to find him. Obviously they meet at some point maybe venice? but only because the reader caught wind of whats going on and also only helping Ethan because he has a grudge against Gabriel. I would like the reader to be more focused on stealth, like the best, no one can detect him, and maybe that also reflects in his fighting style.

Idk i hope you understand, not really good at describing what's going on in my brain

A/n: I totally understand and thanks for answering my call for M:I requests! I hope I did this one justice- also writing fights is hard as shit

Someone He Could Trust

Ethan Hunt x male!reader

( summary: After an old friend reaches out to you for help, you decide to go to a party in Venice )

Warnings?: spoilers for Mission: Impossible Dead Reckoning!! , mentions of guns, violence, fighting, knives, killing, light swearing, mentions of alcohol

!-!more under the cut!-! After all these years, the last thing you expected was a message from him. Ethan Hunt. An old...co-worker...of yours from before 96'. You both used to work together back then, not ever fully trusting one another, though you admit that that's mostly your fault. There were a few times where you may have left him in the dark but only when you knew he could get out of it easily. The last time you had though didn't go so well, a lot of people died and it ended with him being caught. You'd thought he was dead or in jail but time told a different story as you found out he was recruited by the IMF, a government organization that uses the skills of people like you and him to do dirty work behind the scenes.

"I need your help, I need someone I can trust." The message he left you included a file with a picture of a certain key. You'd heard of these things recently, everyone was racing to be the first to get both parts of the key. What exactly it unlocked you're unsure of and judging by the extent of Ethan's research he doesn't either. Though the key wasn't the only thing that caught your attention, a single name had as well. Gabriel. If you remember correctly he should be dead, if he's wrapped up in all of this then it can't be good. Either way, the last thing that lay within the file is a single invitation to a club in Venice Italy. Smirking, you stood, a party doesn't sound like a bad idea.

After a quick flight, you landed in Venice around 11pm, heading to one of the many canals in Italy you entered a boat that rowed you down to a hole in the wall building, the neon lights and loud music shaking the walls around you as you stepped out the boat, letting yourself get frisked before going inside. Entering the party, you straightened your tux as you scanned your surroundings, people danced on display like art as guests around them talked and drank. It was casual and not at the same time. Moving around the crowd of people you walked closer to the bar only to stop as you recognized a certain bearded man. Gabriel. He was older now, obviously, and he stood close to a woman you didn't recognize. You went just close enough to hear them, turning to not draw attention to yourself as you listened in on their conversation. "I don't have it on me," the woman spoke, ah so she was wrapped up in all of this. "I wouldn't expect you to," Gabriel spoke after her, "In any case, I'm not here for the key." 'He's not? Well, that's a contradiction,' you thought to yourself as you watched him turn his back to the bar, you moved to not be in his direct line of sight. "What do you want?" the woman asked though Gabriel seemed to dodge the question. "Suppose while we're waiting I tell you a little story," "You're obviously not the person I came here to meet." The woman said before deciding to walk away but stopped as Gabriel spoke again. "it's your story, Grace," So Grace was her name, "I know how it ends, let me buy you a drink and perhaps we can change it." Though you felt the urge to help this woman she's not who you came here for. Speaking of who you came for, looking near the entrance you saw him with a woman you'd seen before, though only briefly. British intelligence? You're pretty sure, or at least she used to be. Too bad you can't exactly remember her name. You moved again as they fully entered the party before getting stopped by someone who they then followed. Directing your attention back onto Gabriel and the woman you heard Gabriel telling her more about Ethan, though the way he was putting it made Ethan seem like this master manipulator to every woman he ever came across. You clenched your jaw as his story continued, he made it seem like it was Ethan's fault for the death of Marie when it was really he who'd killed her. "Grace," You were shocked to see Ethan just casually walk up to them both, he glanced over, noticing you and you winked before you quickly moved, preferring to offer him backup in the shadows if and when he needed it. You watched as they all talked before the white widow, or Alana as you know her, came over and decided to bring them all upstairs to talk. You'd crossed paths with her before but even then you doubt you'd be able to randomly convince her to let you follow them all the way upstairs. Still, you tailed them until you couldn't, deciding to linger until a fight broke out.

"Let's fan out, Hunt's here somewhere," You perked up at those words as you turned to notice two men, they nodded at each other before attempting to blend in. But to you, they stood out like a sore thumb. You were conflicted about staying near Hunt but knew he could at least handle himself against people he knew were threats. To you, these two were unknown threats that he'd unknowingly have to counter eventually. Taking them out now would be ideal you thought and so you followed them. If they moved far enough from Hunt then they wouldn't be a problem at all and you could return to him.

Tailing them didn't last too long, the venue was rather large and it didn't take them long to get far from Ethan. You walked back inconspicuously before stopping as you noticed a few guards run past you towards Ethans location. They ran up the stairs and you watched as Ethan jumped from the railing, spooking the patrons as he ran through the crowd. Following after him as quickly as you could without drawing as much attention to yourself you found him saving that girl from earlier, Grace, from two men. Fighting them off as best he could as she ran. He called out to her but she didn't come back to help, scoffing you pulled out two sai's from your person. Wasting no time you jumped on the back of one guy, putting a quick end to his life before you turned, narrowly missing Ethan's head as you plunged one of your sai's into the eye of the second guard. Ethan stood, watching as you removed your weapon, flicking the blood off. "Long time no see huh?" You said, watching the slightly out of breath Ethan tilt his head briefly as he nodded. "Yeah well," he shrugged before looking past you, seeing Grace's retreating form he moved to follow her only to stop and do a double take near the grounds. You peeked, noticing the two guys from earlier, they noticed Ethan before running to stop him, was everyone really after this guy? "I'll deal with them, you go after her," You said and he nodded. "There's a safe-house, third floor, south of Minich Bridge, my teams waiting there!" He yelled to you as he began running and you nodded, preparing yourself for the company of the two men.

Hiding beside the entrance to the corridor you were just in you waited for them to run in. The older white guy ran in first followed by his younger partner, who you went for first, hitting him hard with the back of your sai. He fell quick and quiet, though not quiet enough as the older guy seemed to notice immediately. He turned quickly, pointing his gun at you and firing off a few shots though you threw down a smoke bomb of sorts, blinding the man. You waited, moving slowly behind his person to strike again though he had anticipated your attack, blocking you last second though not before you were able to knock the gun out of his hand. He was strong and well-trained but you've taken down men bigger than him. He threw a few punches that you'd dodged before countering, causing him to stagger as the smoke started to dissipate. Kicking him, he flew off to the side, hitting the railing of the balcony. Grabbing your sai's again you were ready to finish the job, pulling your arm back to ready yourself for your attack you were suddenly pushed from behind. You hit the railing, your Sai's falling out your hand. "Shit," you were quick to turn, kicking the younger guy down, how he got back up that fast you were unsure.

Moving quickly you fought the younger guy off, not forgetting about your older opponent who had recovered from his initial fall. You threw a punch at the younger guy who'd blocked it but you'd countered quicker than he thought. Punching him in his throat he fell to the floor struggling to breathe, giving you enough time to turn and kick the older guy in his knee, knocking him down as you used your leg and wrapped it around his throat, effectively knocking you both to the ground as you choked him out with the strength of your thighs. He punched your side but you held out long enough for him to stop struggling. As soon as he was unconscious you moved to knock out the young guy again who had weakly put his fists up to fight back. Smirking you hummed, "What a shame, you're kinda cute." He charged at you and you sidestepped him. He turned quickly just in time to get kicked in the chest making him fall on his back. Some might say you should never kick someone when they're already down but you say that's the perfect time to strike. Delivering one final kick to his head, you knocked the consciousness out of his body.

Sighing you looked at the two unconscious bodies before stretching, "Finally." You moved to grab the guns that had since been forgotten in the hand-to-hand combat that just ensued before leaving the way Ethan did. You doubt you'd catch up to him now so it was better to just try and find that safe-house he'd told you about.

Finding the bridge Ethan told you about wasn't hard though you were more than shocked to find Ethan there, above a woman who was now dead. Grace stood behind him, unsure of what to do. "Ethan?" you walked up the bridge, but his eyes never left the woman. "She's.." he muttered, not finishing his sentence. Looking at the woman you recognized her from earlier she was that former British Intelligence agent whose name you didn't even remember. Now though it's clear that she meant a lot to Ethan. Kneeling down to his level you hesitantly placed a hand on his back. "I'm sorry Ethan," Hearing a boat come down the canal you were quick to remove your suit jacket, delicately placing it over her as the boat neared.

Ethan stood, still looking down at the body before ripping his eyes away from the scene. You placed your hand on his back again, shocked when he leaned into your touch. "I'm sorry," Grace spoke up but Ethan quickly shut her down. "No, it's not your fault. It's Gabriel's." He stated matter-of-factly, anger dripping from his tone. The boat finally neared and stopped making both you and Ethan look up. "Benji," Ethan said, referring to the man driving the boat. "He's on our side?" You asked and Ethan nodded. The man now known as Benji seemed relieved that Ethan was ok but confused at your presence. "I'll explain who he is later, right now...let's just get back to the safe-house...I need to think," Ethan spoke to Benji who nodded before he urged Grace onto the boat. Hopping over the railing yourself you landed with a huff onto the speedboat, sitting in the tight space before Ethan sat next to you. He held a somber expression on his face as Benji turned the boat around. Bumping him with your shoulder, you offered him a smile, "We'll make him pay for this Ethan. I promise." You whispered and Ethan looked at you. You both gave each other a determined nod at the mutual agreement and he offered you a brief smile, but it quickly fell again One way or another you were going to find Gabriel and kill him.

----!----

( I despise writing fights )

Thanks for reading! Have a great day/night!!

My requests are CLOSED !!

See my DIRECTORY for upcoming fics!

Masterlist

#prismuffin #x male reader #male reader #mission impossible x male reader #mission impossible fanfiction #mission impossible #mission impossible dead reckoning #mission impossible x reader #ethan hunt x reader #ethan hunt x male reader #ethan hunt #mission impossible ethan hunt #mission impossible dead reckoning x reader #ethan hunt fanfiction #ethan hunt mission impossible

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floofanflurr · 5 months ago

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Silly floofy silly floofy

Can you tell me about Sans + Paps + Frisky in the pirate au (raccoon me one) AND if you feel like it their relationship with their dear old crusty dad?

I need moooooore loooooore

Hehehehe

WOOHOO!! I SURE CAN!!!! Let's break this down :) (WARNING - THIS POST MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS FOR A FUTURE FIC OF MINE. That will take a long time to write tho, if I ever do, so...)

Sans: The quartermaster of the Sail La Vie - the Captain's right hand man. He's a lazy, laid-back kind of dude, and not one you would expect to be a pirate. When the Sail La Vie is docked, you can find him at the local taverns and houses of ill repute... After all, people drop the most important information when they're comfortable, and Sans is great at making people underestimate him.

He frequently runs small time cons. Shell games, melon drops, weighted dice... Afterwards, he gives the money back, or buys his victim a drink with their own cash. It's a good way to build up a friendly reputation. They don't even realize they were conned.

Upon shore or ship, Sans naps in the strangest areas. Crates and rigging, roofs and the ship deck. Even on the mast itself.

Everyone knows that Sans is entirely devoted to his brother, the Captain of the Sail La Vie.

...Sans is also working as King Asgore's Royal Judge under the table.

Asgore and Sans have an agreement - Sans will work for him if he leaves his brother and his father alone despite their crimes and desertion. It's a tenacious situation that only they are aware of. On this note, Sans is required to ensure the ship never targets monster victims - humans and mages are their only marks.

Sometimes, Asgore points them to human navy ships, and Sans ensures they're taken care of. They aren't a military vessel... but yet, things are more complicated than one may think. They aren't free from the crown's control. But Sans ensures that his crew (and his brother) will never know that.

Sans is under orders to collect mage souls. And to never, ever leave one living after an encounter. Otherwise, it's his brother and father's skulls on the line.

Papyrus: The Great Captain of the Sail La Vie! He inherited the hat from his adoptive father, Dr. W.D. Gaster. Papyrus is a boisterous fellow who took a while to fall into piracy, despite his father's own occupation. For a large portion of his childhood, Papyrus wanted to join the Royal Navy in order to protect monsters from mages.

...He was in the room when his parents were killed by a water mage, after all. He may have only been three years old, but he can't forget. He's very glad that Sans didn't see it, and that he doesn't know the details.

Sans doesn't know Papyrus remembers, and Papyrus would very much like to keep it that way!

Sans doesn't know that Papyrus knows a lot of things.

...Well! Onto the next bit. Papyrus prefers mercy over death - when he can, he likes to target human ships and navy vessels and use fear tactics. He'll kill when he has to, but he'd really rather not. He and Sans mostly go after the ships that cause monsters the most grief.

And while Papyrus can't say he's comfortable around mages, Papyrus doesn't really want to kill them, either. He'd rather talk them down! But he'll kill when necessary.

...And Papyrus knows they'll end up dead, even if he spares them. He's thankful that there aren't many mages around - the magic increasingly rare.

Frisk: A water mage. Or, in other terms, a mer. Frisk struggles to control their magic, and is often stuck with a tail instead of legs. Which... is less than ideal, because it means they can't hide their heritage. And the crown doesn't like unregulated mages very much...

Frisk's mama always hid them away when she could, but Mama died years ago and the human navy found Frisk.

You can now find them aboard various navy vessels - kept in a tank or a tub and gawked at as they try to train Frisk up into a regulated mage to be used in their war. Thankfully, Frisk really isn't the best at control, and it means they don't have to fight just yet.

Less good is that makes them little more than a pet or worse to the sailors on board.

Most humans really don't like mages.

Frisk's life is just them trying to survive and learn how to control their magic so they can run away as soon as possible. They really aren't expecting it when the screaming starts and fighting shakes the ship. Most of the time, the sailors try to direct battles to the other parties ship.

Frisk definitely isn't expecting the tall skeleton that bursts his way into the hold where Frisk is kept, or the way his face falls when he sees them.

Frisk has heard the tales of Captain Papyrus. He and his crew are a horror story for mages. A tall skeleton, the harbinger of death, adorned with blood reds.

Not a single mage has ever survived meeting the Sail La Vie or its Captain.

"...WELL. SHOOT."

Frisk can only agree.

Sans's relationship with Gaster: Sans loves the man. Enough to sell his pride and services to the crown to keep him safe. They bond over science, though Sans never got a chance to pursue it formally - life on the sea and Gaster's own reputation snatched away the possibility. But Sans has never forgotten what Gaster did for them when he took in two orphaned children and gave them a home, and so Sans can't bring himself to resent him too much for that.

Sans is constantly harping on Gaster to actually settle down for once. The old man is going to get himself killed if he keeps up his skirmishes. He needs to actually retire.

There are a few odd tensions between the two - Gaster's decision to fall into piracy still hanging over their heads. But ultimately, they love each other and get along quite well. Many puns are thrown around when they're together.

Papyrus's relationship with Gaster: The same as Sans, in most cases. He loves and respects his father! And admires his skill in protecting those he loves. He... disagrees with some of his more brutal tactics and policies, but Sans employs those same methods, so Papyrus can't really complain.

Papyrus was thrilled when Gaster trusted him enough to pass Captain-hood down to him.

Papyrus would do nearly anything to keep the man safe. ...Which is why Papyrus hasn't called Sans out on a few noteworthy things.

AAAND there we have my ramble!!! FEEL FREE TO ASK MORE QUESTIONS I LOVE TALKING ABOUT MY AUS AND WORKS. Ah, yes, and for anyone that read this far and wants to read more... Here. A fic about what Gaster is up to while Sans and Papyrus are busy finding mermaid children.

#asks #papirate #sans #frisk #gaster #floof writes #utmv #pirate au #(eventually i'll name it)#papyrus

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sapphicrot · 4 months ago

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going on anon in the community to have a gigachad opinion is my hobby but like yeah i simply think also, people should look at characters for their story value. not all characters in a story are going to be likeable to everyone but that doesn't mean they aren't absolutely vital to it. to change moon kills the story. rainworld works because it's so layered, has so many themes, is so tragic. iterators are intentionally flawed in how they think. insert that discussion those users, forget who, had awhile back abt ALL iterators very clearly demonstrating poor eq. moon has a lot of the same flaws as the other iterators and i feel like it's definitely unfair that she gets critiqued so harshly for having flawed logic in her situation when literally every character (dp wise, i cant speak for vanilla atm) had flawed logic. the only real explanation for disliking moon and not the other iterators for that reasoning is misogyny and i think you've been pointing that out pretty dead on. most of the time i feel quite neutral to the iterators as i like them all but even then, even if i ever do forget why moon is likeable as a character, i still appreciate that she is part of the story simply because she is objectively a necessary component to it. not sure i'm putting words together well here now but it's whatever

girl literally tells you little stories and is nice to you if you're not a jerk. i can't comprehend how anyone would hate her without exhibiting flawed thinking themself lol. arguments against her fall apart like sand they just aren't defensible. everyone is entitled to an opinion, if they just dont vibe with her sure whatever, but being so drastic as to hate her and act like she's not a valuable character with important themes and ideas is weird to me too

and my last note here, a little less related, your art is swag as hell. i'd make a more specific compliment but i need to put down the phone so i'll be back another time. have a good day👍

[nods sagely] i completely agree. like the iterators, despite looking/seeming like untouchable gods, are no better than we are at the end of the day. they’re emotional, they care too much, they make rash decisions. they fuck up despite a lot of the times thinking they’re doing the right thing…much like all of us. that’s what i think rain world is really trying to drive home: the gods that tower over you, the scavengers that seem erratic and irrational, the slugcats, YOU, are all the same. you are all trying to survive, to understand your purpose in the world. monk and survivor are a parallel to pebbles’ and moon’s story. like, the game makes that pretty clear. it all comes full circle, doesn’t it?

at the end of the day all the iterators were doomed from the start. even if moon had “done everything right” (could anything even qualify as right??) she still would have collapsed. so too with pebbles. its not like they can do much being, ahem, “locked up in a box”, with miles and miles between one another. the damage had been done already. judging their reactions to such an unprecedented situation, filled with emotion and desperation and fear and sheer hopelessness, you probably wouldn’t have reacted in the most flawless way either. the iterators aren’t pure, rational machines! and that’s what makes the game GOOD!!!!

…not to mention, if they did nothing to the game aside from flip pebbles’ gender, you KNOOOWWWW the fandom would HATE his guts rather than being like 🥺 omg my poor littol emo baby 🥺 and like idk. call him a selfish bitch or whatever

also [kicks feet and twirls hair] awwww thank you for liking my art !!! i wanna draw moon now damn it

#letters #rw #amazing + no notes anon #i’ve been wanting to ramble about the iterators ‘humanity’ for a while

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musedisorder · 6 months ago

Text

Nerdy Prudes Must Die! Part 1.

This is a sentence / prompt meme with quotes from Starkid's nerdy prudes must die for roughly the first half of the show. I will make one for the rest at a later time! Feel free to alter / edit the quotes as needed! Lots of sexual implications / foul language / and mentions of violence in this one

"Help! Somebody help me! Please!"

"Wait until you get a load of this mess."

"Face down in the fucking john. What a way to go."

"The killer left a little love note for us. Penned in the victim's blood."

"Hey, do you think they're connected?"

"The nightmare started there but now has spread."

"I'm scared. Someone comes for me. I'm unprepared."

"I can't cut through all the tension"

"It's hell on earth, you know."

"I'm tweeting all about it."

"High school is killing me!"

"I'm so fuckin' dead."

"Shit."

"I was up all late last night and I couldn't fucking study."

"Hey, hey geek?"

"Me?"

"We've been in classes together a long time, haven't we?"

"Well, since the first grade."

"There's an unspoken bond between us. We're classmates. We're comrades."

"I got left behind this morning. Bus driver's a fucking asshole."

"We succeed together or we fail together. And I won't mince words. I'm gonna fail this test. Unless you help me cheat."

"Won't we get in trouble?"

"Cheaters!"

"That little snitch!"

"Oh god. I am dead! I am so dead!"

"What's the matter? This your first academic misconduct?"

"I don't need this kind of attention!"

"This outfit is a tapestry of my trauma! It is designed to provoke as little teasing as possible."

"I didn't know you were funny."

"I like funny guys."

"You better leave your hopes behind."

"I never intended to walk through YOUR hallway."

"Oh, well there's a difference between intent and impact. I learned that at an anti-bullying last month, fuck-nugget!"

"Now move along, bitch!"

"Really? That's a hot take."

"Now you listen to me, you stuttering prick."

"Homecoming's just an excuse for kids to dry hump in the gym."

"You're funny!"

"Can I carry your books for you?"

"Carry my books? I don't think either of us are ready for that."

"Come on. You're breaking my balls."

"Just one little date."

"You don't know me very well, do you?"

"I know that behind closed doors, repressed chicks are the biggest freaks."

"Watch some porn."

"Don't call me that."

"I am only one man's girl. And his name is Jesus Christ. I suggest getting acquainted with him before you end up roasting on a spit in Hell."

"Forbidden fruit, dick-hole! It's always the sweetest."

"I'm the reason you run and hide!"

"Don't need no one to tell me high school with be my peak, so I'm willing to take advantage."

"So keep on judging me. That comes with infamy."

"No one's gonna stop me!"

"This is politics! Learn to multi-task!"

"I'd like to have an intelligent conversation with you. In other words, shut up."

"Hey that looks like my... phone."

"I've found a weak spot, haven't I?"

"Ready to make like Newton and get this physics project 'in motion'?"

"This project's on thermo-dynamics. What the fuck are you talking about?"

"I got it on good authority that I'm actually pretty funny."

"What was it like when she touched your arm? Did you cum?"

"Silence your cellphone in the library!"

"Nani?!"

"What's the matter with you guys? You just told me not to get my hopes up!"

"A naughty schoolgirl wants you to help her study?"

"Stop being gross, both of you!"

"You're telling me I gotta be funny again? I didn't do it on purpose the FIRST time!"

"I bet you'd call this luck. Well, that's your perspective."

"But what if all my thoughts were stronger? What if my beliefs were taller?

"Way cooler than I think I am."

"But what if I were wrong?"

"What if people see me as someone other than who I am?"

"Am I cooler than I think I am?"

"If I can finally be cool I will know that I'm not a loser."

"But is that who I think I am?"

"Who do I think I am?"

"Think you're better than me because you come from money?"

"Uhg! So you're a poor piece of shit then?"

"Had to sell your bowtie to feed your fucking family?"

"Look, I know what you want me to do, okay? You want me to grovel. Run so you can chase."

"Well I'm sick of your... s-shit..."

"I don't seem scary to you?"

"You're just a bully. And when you stand up to a bully, they lose their power."

"Does it feel like I lost my power?"

"I did not cosent to this rendez-voos!"

"I decide who's cool and who's not."

"I'm your god. Now on your knees, bitch. It's time to say your fuckin' prayers!"

"It's haunted. Everyone says so."

"This is wrong! This is so wrong..."

"I'll never tell ya to behave."

"I am expecting you to betray me."

"I'm only in if your over it, a one way ticket power trip with no room for censorship."

"Won't you love me like you don't care?"

"You talk to me like you're in a locker room. It's clear you never stepped in a classroom."

"You want me? Can't be skipping school."

"I am expecting you to behave."

"I don't care about you!"

"You got my judgement all muddy and cloudy!"

"I'm a good girl."

"I won't care about you!"

"We thought you were waifu material, but you're just a bully!"

"Come on. You can't stay in the bathroom all day."

"What a fucking psycho!"

"That's some cool-kid privilege right there."

"Isn't this like, breaking and entering?"

"You're the bait for our trap!"

"We're gonna bully the bully."

"We're gonna make it spooky!"

"It's goofy!"

"Got a better plan?"

"We're gonna make a dirty movie where the losers win."

"We're gonna cut off his nips!"

"No, we're gonna be real cool!"

"So we're not gonna kick his ass?"

"No, we're gonna be cool beans."

"Well then I'm gonna have to shoot the whole thing in a wide and it's gonna look like shit!"

"I don't know. I'm nervous."

"You're like, super nice to me."

"Not really. I'm just doing the bare minimum here."

"I brought the brews!"

"Oh shit. Where's that creepy music coming from?"

"Oh shit! Oh fuck! It's a fucking ghost! I always knew you fuckers were real!"

"I've been scared of you my whole life!"

"Float over here ghost! I'm gonna kick your fucking ass!"

"I make the dead run in fear!"

"Maybe I should just run!"

"Where? Back home so dad can call you a little cuck?"

"We can't have a party here! This place is hella haunted!"

"Get behind me! I'll protect you!"

"It's not real, stupid!"

"This was all a prank. A trick to scare the shit out of you 'cause you deserve it."

"I thought you guys hated me."

"Mission accomplished?"

"I'm gonna kill you all!"

"No, no no! This was an accident!"

"This wasn't murder. And it wasn't an accident. It was an act of God."

"Don't you see? We're free."

"We're gonna bury the body right here in the lobby underneath the wooden flooring."

"This is a lot."

"We're gonna hack all his limbs off."

"Did you say hack all his limbs off...?"

"Stop saying it!"

"You want me to film this?!"

"This has been the best two weeks of my life!"

"We could go sarcastically."

"Things really are different around here!"

"You want me in the huddle?"

"You smell like an open asshole right now."

"You fucking reek, man."

"They're my bros for life."

"I love this school!"

"I love being alive!"

"You said you wouldn't bully me anymore. Remember what you said?"

"Oh, I remember what I said."

"You fucking NERD!"

"No! No no no no! That's can't be! You're DEAD!"

"I'm free!"

"And you know that that means, bitch? No more Mr. Nice Guy."

"Did you miss me while I was gone?"

"Did you really think you'd get away?"

"You can see I'm much improved."

"That ain't good news for you, ya bitch."

"I got a list, and you're on it."

"You think I seek revenge?"

"You pushed me off the edge!"

"I'm on a new crusade."

"The world is just to well behaved, it needs to be saved."

"Expose the bloody lie!"

"I want you to repeat after me."

"Who will pray for me when I'm gone?"

"Can you repeat that one?"

"Is this the eternal dark without a dawn?"

"Who will pray for you when your body's gone?"

"This is the consequence for what you've done!"

"I'm not a loser!"

"What did you say!?"

"Don't kill me."

"But you have lost... everything."

#sentence meme #sentence starters #roleplay prompt #i am obsessed with this show asjksdkjfk

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feministsouthpark · 1 year ago

Text

South Park Filler Guide - Season 14

Link for Seasons 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13

You know the drill by now, I’ll judge whether an episode has all the qualities of a canon one, or is it just shameless filler. S14E1 Sexual Healing is LORE S14E2 The Tale of Scrotie McBoogerballs is FILLER

Both Tiger Woods and Sarah Jessica Parker are seen henching for Tom Cruise a few episodes later, so I suppose you can count them in, however in Sarah's case she was found dead in her origin episode, so that one counts less, but you can't really miss the point either way. Remember how often the show treated Butters only as a Kenny replacement? Well now it doesn't have to be an either/or deal, as we finally get never-seen-before the four boys + Butters dynamic. S14E3 Medicinal Fried Chicken is FILLER S14E4 You Have 0 Friends is FILLER

Randy and Eric get their first dual episode, which is two separate issue of the week storylines tied together by the beginning sequence. Stan goes on facebook before deleting it. S14E5 200 is CANON S14E6 201 is CANON

If you watch only the canon episodes, half the series is a build-up to these two excellent episodes. Watch these at any cost, they are spectacular and the main event I've been talking about all this time. In fact, I plan to dissect these two episodes in a separate post later. S14E7 Crippled Summer is CANON S14E8 Poor and Stupid is FILLER

The annual Jimmy episode IS canon this time, thanks to it also being the first chapter of the Nathan and Mimsy arc. The NASCAR episode though just happens and rides on. S14E9 It's a Jersey Thing is LORE S14E10 Insheeption is FILLER

Kyle is from Jersey. Stan is a hoarder. One of them explains in detail Kyle's and Sheila's roots, and for that, despite never being talked again, at least it's part of the lore of who they are. In Stan and Mr Mackey's origin of their hoarding it's simply filler since that issue is not a huge part of their characters otherwise. S14E11 Coon 2: Hindsight is CANON S14E12 Mysterion Rises is CANON S14E13 Coon vs. Coon & Friends is CANON

Huge part of the canon, the immortality of Bradley is finally explained after so many years. The Coon also returns once more. S14E14 Créme Fraiche is CANON

Chef gets replaced at last. That's not why it's canon, it's because of Randy and Sharon's ongoing relationship arc.

SPOILER-FREE RUNDOWN

Again, CANON means you should watch it, FILLER means you can skip it, LORE is somewhere in-between, any episode with the LORE label will have an explanation that helps you decide if you should include it or not.

S14E1 Sexual Healing is LORE* S14E2 The Tale of Scrotie McBoogerballs is FILLER S14E3 Medicinal Fried Chicken is FILLER S14E4 You Have 0 Friends is FILLER S14E5 200 is CANON S14E6 201 is CANON S14E7 Crippled Summer is CANON S14E8 Poor and Stupid is FILLER S14E9 It's a Jersey Thing is LORE** S14E10 Insheeption is FILLER S14E11 Coon 2: Hindsight is CANON S14E12 Mysterion Rises is CANON S14E13 Coon vs. Coon & Friends is CANON S14E14 Créme Fraiche is CANON

*Tiger Woods is in this one and he'll later say a sentence about how the town mistreated him **If you're interested in Kyle's and Sheila's origins, watch this one

CANON counter:

S1: 9 out of 13 S2: 3 out of 18 S3: 6 out of 18 S4: 10 out of 17 S5: 8 out of 14 S6: 11 out of 17 S7: 6 out of 15 S8: 4 out of 14 S9: 8 out of 14 S10: 4 out of 14 S11: 4 out of 14 S12: 8 out of 14 S13: 3 out of 14 S14: 7 out of 14

Overall: 91 out of 210

#south park filler guide #south park #randy marsh #eric cartman #kyle broflovski #sheila broflovski #stan marsh #mr mackey #timmy burch #nathan south park #jimmy valmer #nathan and mimsy #cthulhu #kenny mccormick #mysterion #butters stotch #tom cruise

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cntarella · 6 months ago

Text

Okay, so more cogent thoughts on Nosferatu (2024):

It was a very middling movie in everything except the costuming, set design, and art direction — which were top notch. I also give it props for the great lighting, i.e. being one of the few movies set mostly in the night where you can actually see what's going on. Eggers and Blaschke really used light and shadow extremely well in a few scenes, thinking here in particular of that one shot of Ellen (i.e. Lily Rose Depp) on the bed with the side profile of her shadow on the pillow and that ending shot of Von Franz (i.e. Willem Dafoe) illuminated in the mirror that were genuinely such beautiful, artistic frames. Visually, great movie. But visuals can't make up for a script and a cast that were stilted as all hell.

First of all, the screenplay itself was trying way too hard. No one spoke in a particularly convincing way — everything was long monologues, diatribes really, that were meant to be ominous and add to the gothic atmosphere. But it was pure narration, nothing left to the actual interpretation of the other storytelling elements to convey horror. Instead of letting the atmosphere carry the mood, it relied so much on telling us "btw this is the horrifying thing happening, this is why it is horrifying" and genuinely felt like they didn't think people would understand...what was essentially a very basic story. Where tf is the dude that wrote The Lighthouse??? This cannot be the same man.

Second, the acting. Or the lack of acting!!! At least on the part of Lily Rose Depp. This woman cannot act, I'm sorry. The people who praise her for this role, I'm asking: did we see the same movie? This woman cannot modulate her voice beyond two slightly differentiated tones, and same goes for her facial expressions. Dead delivery for a floundering script, and considering she was most of the movie, made for an incredibly boring 2 hours. I will say, she did some great body acting but that's probably the only thing she did with any sort of panache. The rest felt too committed to showing her off in the sexiest waif girl light that it could, rather than actually making use of her as an actress.

She and her castmates had no chemistry either, especially between her and Nicholas Hoult and Bill Skarsgard. I'm supposed to believe this woman's husband would traverse the snowy mountains of Transylvania with nothing but a coat and a horse to get back to her after THE most sexless kisses??? I'm supposed to believe that Nosferatu was enticed by her "passion" and her dead-eyed impression of romance???

Speaking of sex scenes, there were a few in the movie that were just so bad. Lily Rose Depp making the same pornhub "uh uh uh" moans during ALL of these scenes, with little change in delivery or intonation. And I do mean "uh uh uh," it was embarrassingly bad and not just because the sex itself was badly simulated by her partners.

And then there's Nosferatu himself. What a disappointment. I wanted something grotesque, I wanted something fun. We kept getting teased about Bill Skarsgard's "horrific transformation" but like. It was a bald cap and a coat. It was a prosthetic nose. The most grotesque thing about him was being...emaciated? Slightly deformed? Kinda middle aged looking? I don't know that we saw enough of him to really be able to judge his acting on this particular film, but imo he did a better job as Pennywise than in this role. It was just the most mid monster one could potentially want to fuck, unbelievably mid.

The "gore" people kept warning about was very very light, very standard for a horror movie and not even the most grotesque in recent memory (First Omen still had this beat by a long long long shot in terms of actual grotesquerie). Some frontal nudity that was nothing to write home about. But at least there were 2,000 rats. At least we had that.

2.5/5 stars

#my reviews #I GUESS....#Nosferatu 2024 #Nosferatu #horror movies

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practically-an-x-man · 1 month ago

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Random Ask (that should be a TST maybe but WHEE)

What would your magical/Meta/etc OCs do (AKA Not Quinn?) if suddenly they were typically normal and powerless? Would they have a hard time adjusting, or worse, would they die?

Ooooh, thank you!

Rae: I kinda wrote about this in my fic Tear Us Apart, in which she and Warren both have their mutations stripped, but it would be a tough adjustment for her. She got her mutation late, so it's not inexorably bound with her self-identity the way it is for other mutants, but she still associates it with a lot of impactful moments in her life - it connects her to her family, and the history of mutants there, and it's what kept Warren from dying back in Cairo. Physically she'd manage to adjust, since she's used to living a non-powered life; emotionally it would be more difficult.

Robin: She'd have a hard time adjusting. It's been a long time since she's lived without her mutation, and she does use it as an aid frequently in her day-to-day life. It would be like suddenly taking away a Cochlear implant - she's Deaf with or without it, but she's had that aid for years and it would be an adjustment to suddenly take that away.

Madison: She'd actually fare reasonably well, at least at first. She's grown comfortable with her mutation, and certainly appreciates having it, but there are a lot of social factors that make it difficult for her all the same. She'd be grateful for the chance to go out in public and not be judged or eyed, though in the long run she'd end up missing her mutation a lot more than she realizes.

Gia: Depends on how we look at this. If we view as her connection with the clover being severed... that's her life force, she's probably dead. But if we view it as her life force being properly returned to her body and no longer being bound to the clover, she's suddenly free of a burden she's carried for a long time. As long as it's the latter of the two options, she probably fares the best out of everyone.

Jasper: They've effectively just lost one of their senses, and that's a HELL of an adjustment. There's even a difference between Jasper and Robin here: Robin uses her mutation as an aid but has never fully been able to hear, while Jasper has always had their empathic sense and now this would be taken away. It would be like suddenly going blind or deaf: a lot of grieving, a lot of adjustment, maybe you're briefly grateful not to wince on a bright summer day or flinch at a foghorn, but the difficulty of adjusting to losing a sense outweighs the brief benefit of no longer having that sensory overload.

Katherine: Assuming it's just Katherine who's lost her magic, she's not doing too badly! The magic is meaningful to her, yes, she's had some incredibly experiences, but it's still a newer-onset thing for her. She'd really be fine, for the most part. But if magic as a whole no longer exists, that's a lot harder on her: no more Ahk, no more friends at the museum, a whole side of her heart has just been shut down and that's devastating.

Kestrel: They wouldn't even know what to do with themself. Their entire life and identity is inexorably bound with them being a magical being, for better or worse. As much as being a changeling means that they fight to maintain their identity, being a changeling is also a key part of that identity. They might be more "secure" without their magical nature in play, but they wouldn't quite be the same Kestrel either.

Eris: It's possible that they'd just turn to dust, since they've been alive for over a thousand years and have survived entirely too many things that should have killed them. Even if this is a blank-slate sort of thing, and they just begin aging from the moment they lose their powers, he'd... probably still end up dead, just because he's spent literal centuries being able to brush off injuries and now can't comprehend how careful she needs to be. She'd go into battle, get stabbed or shot, brush it aside because muscle memory tells her she can heal from it, and end up bleeding out before she can correct her mistake.

Nikoletta: She's fantastic. She's no longer perpetually cold, no longer afraid of spreading shadows, no longer dealing with the existential dread of being permanently changed by STAR Labs (okay, that one might not go away as easily, but it's still lessened a bit). Honestly, she can live without being able to jump into the shadows. The benefits far outweigh the drawbacks.

Vivienne: Hm... similar to Eris in a way, in the sense that she technically drowned before being made a siren and being stripped of that magic might just kill her, but assuming it would survive... that's a tricky adjustment. At first it would seem to bounce back quickly enough, and would switch from following the Demeter to acting as another crewmember alongside her husband, but being a siren also gave her a sense of strength and purpose, and it's hard not to fall back into old habits without that to bolster her. Wojchek is nothing like her first husband, but potential threats all seem a lot more real when you aren't a near-immortal sea beast.

(No Ophelia bc she doesn't have actual powers, just inventions; no Jimmy because if ghosts didn't exist he'd just be dead; no Spider because he lived a normal life until/without the alien apocalypse; no Terra and Pluto because their lives would also be fairly normal without the various trappings of Arcane)

#my friends!!!#answered asks #witchy-self-shipper #my ocs #rae mckinney #robin cassidy #madison douglas #gia pantazis #jasper wilson #oc kestrel #oc katherine johnson #oc eris #nikoletta bordeaux #oc vivienne

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1moreff-creator · 2 years ago

Text

DRDT - Milgram AU: T1 "Voice Reveal" Lines

Hey there! Back at it with this AU. I figured if I'm going to commit to the bit, I might as well commit fully. At the start of every Trial, Milgram gives a sneak peak at some of the lines which will appear in the VDs, combined with "glitchy" lines which relate to their murder. So I'm doing that too! Keep in mind this is not professional in the slightest, so exact wording might change between now and when I actually post the VDs. Especially since it's been a while since I rewatched DRDT so the wording could feel a bit off. Anyways, here we go!

Implied DRDT spoilers and heavy themes. Again not affiliated with either of the series

Btw I'm using crossed out text for aesthetics but there will be a transcript at the bottom if you have trouble reading that.

01- "Levi Fontana, a pleasure"

"Yes, I am a murderer"

"I can't bring myself to pretend to be sorry for what I did"

"I suppose I should watch the other prisoners to learn how normal murderers should handle themselves"

...

I know you didn't want this, but it had to be done

02- "Arturo Giles"

"Ugh. Do I really have to be judged by someone this ugly?"

"I'll have you know, I've never murdered anyone"

[Whispering] "I mean, there is... no, no, that wasn't my fault"

...

How was I meant to know?! Even if she's dead because of what I did, it's not my fault!

03- "My name is David Chiem"

"It seems there's been a mistake. But don't worry! I won't hold it against you"

"Mistakes can be corrected. It's not difficult to change, as long as you're willing to!"

"I try to be as positive as I can, since I know there's a lot of people that don't get the privilege"

...

AGH! CAN YOU DO ANYTHING RIGHT, YOU PIECE OF HUMAN GARBAGE?!

04- "Yo! Whit Young, nice to meet you!

"Are you really sure everyone here is a murderer?"

"That's wack"

"I don't remember doing anything suspicious! Yesterday was normal, the day before that was normal, the day before that... the day before that..."

...

My mom's really amazing! I love her a lot. I would do anything for her

05- "Tch. Ace Markey"

"You wanna fight?! Wait, fuck, you probably have weapons, don't you?! Shit, don't get any closer!"

"You think I'm a murderer?! Horseshit!"

"Get off your fucking high horse!"

...

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, shit, shit shit shit, FUCK!

06- "Uhm... Nico... Hakobyan"

"I'm- I'm really sorry!"

"You're pretty weird"

"Ah! I'm sorry! Don't get mad at me!"

...

Why should I own up for the mistakes that someone else made?!

07- "J Moreno"

"What do you people really want? Ransom money? There's no way you're doing this just because you want to 'judge our sins' or whatever bullshit you're saying"

"Don't make me laugh. Find evidence I killed anyone, and then we can talk about murder"

"Do you really think you're going to understand everything I've been through, just with a silly little song? How arrogant are you?!"

...

What happened to her was nothing short of a tragedy. Sorry, but I will make no further comment

08- "Mmmm... Rose Lacroix"

"zzzzz"

"Ah, yeah. I killed someone"

"This really isn't that bad. At least I can paint here"

...

I wonder if I can be happy now

09- "H-Hu Jing"

"I know what I did was unforgivable..."

"I really am selfish... I'm scared of receiving the punishment I deserve"

"Please Forgive me!"

...

Wake up! Please! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

10- "My name is Veronika Grebenshchikova!"

"If you don't mind, can you choose not to Forgive me?"

"Death sounds boring. I'd rather stay alive if you don't mind!"

"To Forgive what I did... it would be denying everything I believe about my life..."

...

[Cackling laughter, which trails off with a wheeze] I really am a monster...

11- "Arei Naegishi!"

"Pfft! God, you're pathetic!"

"Why the hell are we even here? How could anyone be stupid enough to do anything but Forgive me?"

"Are you really that much of an idiot?!"

...

WHO'S THE WEAK ONE NOW, HUH?!

12- "Uhm... Eden Tobisa..."

"Even when things are looking down, we just have to try our best, and trust each other!"

"I... I never wanted anyone to die!"

"Es... why are you doing this?"

...

Wh- What have you done?!

13- "Min Jeung"

"This is ludicrous. How are we meant to expect a fair judgement when your 'justice' is determind by one person's whims and biases?"

"When an institution is non-functional, it is highly illogical to indiscriminately tear it down. Improving the basis already in place is by far the most constructive way to conduct progress"

"There is no country in the world where I would be judged a murderer. To say one single prison has the authority to decide that I am is a flagrant display of vanity"

...

The condition has been met. There is no need for further intervention

14- "Alexander Matthews. Just call me Xander"

"Don't you see how broken this entire system is?! What makes you think you hold a monopoly over morality, huh?! What gives you the right to Forgive or Not Forgive?!"

"When something is rotten, you throw it away. It's the same with this twisted place!"

"...Warden?"

...

Ah... haha... I did it... You all can finally rest

15- "Charles Cuevas"

"I was hoping the Warden would be competent, at least, but clearly I was a fool to think that could ever be the case"

"Are you stupid?!"

"Warden... Es... I have a request"

...

Hgk...- Ack! ... Kch[sharp inhale]

16- "Teruko Tawaki"

"Are you okay?"

"You don't need to know anything about my crimes. I'm unforgivable. That's all you need, right?"

"If you can find a way to do it... Just kill me"

...

... [sigh] Why did I ever get my hopes up?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And there we go! Hope they weren't too ooc! Keep in mind different backstories could lead to slightly different personalities; this AU is canon-adjacent, not really canon-compliant. Levi's first trial is coming soon! Hope you enjoyed!

Huh? Secret message? Whatever are you talking about?

Here's the transcript of the glitchy lines:

01 - Levi: I know you didn't want this, but it had to be done

02 - Arturo: How was I meant to know?! Even if she's dead because of what I did, it's not my fault!

03 - David: AGH! CAN YOU DO ANYTHING RIGHT, YOU PIECE OF HUMAN GARBAGE?!

04 - Whit: My mom's really amazing! I love her a lot. I would do anything for her

05 - Ace: Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, shit, shit shit shit, FUCK!

06 - Nico: Why should I own up for the mistakes that someone else made?!

(Yes it's just the secret quote on their page sue me it's a cool line)

07 - J: What happened to her was nothing short of a tragedy. Sorry, but I will make no further comment

08 - Rose: I wonder if I can be happy now

09 - Hu: Wake up! Please! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

10 - Veronika: [Cackling laughter, which trails off with a wheeze] I really am a monster...

11 - Arei: WHO'S THE WEAK ONE NOW, HUH?!

12 - Eden: Wh- What have you done?!

13 - Min: The condition has been met. There is no need for further intervention

14 - Xander: Ah... haha... I did it... You all can finally rest...

15 - Charles: Hgk... Ack! ... Kch[sharp inhale]

16 - Teruko: ... [sigh] Why did I ever get my hopes up?

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inconsistent-kuroshitsuji-blog · 1 year ago

Note

Hello. If you don't mind, I'd like to ask for headcanons about the kuro characters and their favourite video game genres/series? ^_^

Absolutely.

Kuro characters and their favourite video game genres/series

don't know why, but he looks like he'd enjoy simulator games

if Black Butler would've happened in the modern day (and someone would've taught this grandpa how to use technology) he would probably used these to learn the things he needs to know as a human

cooking simulator (or Cooking Mama), school simulator, anything that could be useful like that

definitely also enjoys slasher games

simply judging by the way he enjoyed that bloodbath on the Campania, he'd looooooove extremely violent games

idk, I don't know too many in that genre, but Dead by Daylight could be one of his faves

but nothing with guns. Those things are beneath him. He wants the real thrill of the kill

oh, please, as if he'd even know what that is

he doesn't even have time for this

imagine the hours wasted on lines of code and digital pixels

do you know that one game where it's basically like a VR job simulator with different kinds of jobs like cook or office or gas station? Instead of humans, the NPCs are robots that insult you at every given opportunity and set you up for failure. Yeah, he'd like that.

also, Powerwash Simulator

ok, stereotypical, but dress up games

especially Style Savvy (ngl, these games are way too good)

other than that, she seems like a casual enjoyer of Animal Crossing

except that she bullies all the ugly neighbours off of her island and hunts for very specific characters (so basically like me)

another obvious choice is Bayonetta

I mean, have you looked at her? Slashing her way through demons and angels while having chainsaws for arms and legs? The cunty outfits?

Let me tell you: Bayonetta and Grell? An iconic match made in heaven

I can't decide

either he's a die-hard Mario Kart player or a huge Sonic enthusiast (the older games, not the newer ones)

he probably doesn't have enough time to really play though, since he's either out working overtime or out partying

he doesn't seem like a shooter person

okay, this is coming out of me because of a huge lack of sleep (it's currently 1 am where I'm living), but why does he look like he would drunkenly play Fortnite or Roblox?

"You got games on your phone?" No, back the fuck up dude. You're an adult.

Why did I just write that? Inco, what's wrong with you?

this is very specific, but that one Coraline game for the Wii and the DS

he's definitely leaning more towards psychological horror games

American McGee's Alice and Alice: Madness Returns. You can't convince me otherwise

he's an unfairly skilled Mario Kart player, to the point that it almost seems like he's cheating (he's 100% cheating, just like when playing Uno)

on the other hand, he's a huuuuge sucker for Kirby games

doesn't matter what type or gimick, he loves it and has perfected it down to the last frame

but you'd never know unless he wanted you to know (and I know it because I am God and run on my last bar of my batterie and because he's officially and undeniably my husband, deal with it. Omfg, this is so fucking cringe, I'm gonna go shoot myself, I'll be right back.)

well, first of all, you need to explain everything to him because he couldn't even read the instructions on the screen (I'm 100% convinced that his eyesight is pure batshit and he's just cheating his way through the manga through some deus-ex-machina type of shit)

newsflash, but he loves horror games

I really see him with games like Resident Evil or Don't Starve Together

also, Undetale

you know, because of morals and choices and consequences and all that (surely not because of a skeleton with dry humour)

maybe it would help to show him a bathing simulator so this crusty man learns how to clean himself

is it too obvious and on the nose to say The Mortuary Assistant?

omg, look at him! My boy! Finally animated! I love him so much! My boy!

ahem, so anyway...

Trombone Champ

he'd play it on his loudest speakers just to annoy the hell out of everyone

also, you know those really cheap horror games you can find on Steam that are really terrible? He lives for those

idk why, but he seems like he'd enjoy Portal

and Assassin's Creed. Especially the first four mainline games

continueing with puzzle games, he really enjoys Professor Layton, no doubt

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That's it for now. It's almost 2 am and I have to help out at a sports event I only registered for to watch some random kids suffer in the heat. But now I have to wake up early for that... Oh, how ironically bitchy life is. And to top it all of I have to work the graveyard shift today. Coffee and energy will be my best friend today.

So, yeah, that's it for now. Or maybe not, maybe I'll pull an all-nighter simply so I can't oversleep. If you're up for a part 2 just slide into my requests and I'll see what I can do.

Until then~

Your Inconsistent Kuroshitsuji Blog~

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an-au-blog · 6 months ago

Text

that holiday zs is coming along WAY too different than the first draft, so imma just post those initial 4k on here bc i just really dont wanna scrap them completely (the intro is kinda the same as the actual fic im posting on ao3 but yk...)

enjoy :))

(this is the actual posted one btw https://archiveofourown.org/works/61647757/chapters/157594045)

The winter months were approaching like a persistent storm, knocking on the doorstep. As vicious as both weather and time, the invites and passive-aggressive messages started again.

It was always "you have to come home for the holidays" and "if you don't come, father will be disappointed," but Sanji hated every family gathering. The fact that he was contractually obligated to go to at least one was disgusting. And even more so that Judge pulled his strings to push him into going to this Christmas party.

Just before he was about to leave his phone, adamant not to answer his sister's texts, her name was displayed again. She was calling him.

Shit... he couldn't ignore her now...

Taking a deep breath, he braced himself. "Hey, Reiju."

"Hello, Sanji." Her greeting sounded as cold as ever.

"I know what you're calling for."

"You do?" Even questions sounded closer to statements out of her lips.

"Yeah, and I'm sure you already know my answer. Did Judge put you up to this?" He never liked getting angry at her, it was not her fault, but he couldn't hide the way he felt.

"Sanji," her voice softened just a tad. "I'm sorry that our father moved the dates for the charity event, there was no way he could have known you wouldn't be in town."

"Don't lie to me. That man planned it, I know him." Sanji was itching for a cigarette. His hands trembled in fury as he opened the box and pulled one out. "He knows I wouldn't be caught dead on more than one Vinsmoke social money-parade! That charity event was the only thing I could stand by willingly and he knew that." He lit his smoke and inhaled the thick scent of it, calming. "And don't call him that, he is no father of mine. I can't recall one time where he acted like one."

"There are two years until the contract is over, please don't do anything to anger him... I don't think he actually wants to see you go."

Sanji couldn't help the sharp and humorless laugh escaping him. "As soon as my restaurant is "payed off" I can promise you, he won't be seeing any of me. It's actually funny to me how his greatest failure is his most qualified employee."

"Sanji..."

"Whatever, I'm going." He put out his cigarette. "Not like I have any choice." The man grumbled.

"Oh, and one more thing." She paused a bit, perhaps waiting for an answer but continued before Sanji did. "It would be wise to bring a date."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

She didn't sound teasing or happy. "Just... trust me. And make it convincing."

The line went dead.

Well she never stopped being ominous

Lighting up a second cigarette, Sanji thought on what she said. Perhaps, she was right, if he took someone it could be more tolerable.

But then the problem was, who?

He couldn't take any lady, he wouldn't dare to put a woman through that torture. And it wasn't like he had a lot of friends either. Between helping at the restaurant and slaving away at the Germa company, he didn't have much time to socialize.

He needed someone who would piss off his family and would not be put off by them. He couldn't take any of the cooks... There was Luffy, but Sanji was sure he would try to kill them on sight and as satisfying as that sounded, he couldn't risk anything so close to the finish line.

After an agitatingly long consideration, Sanji took out his phone. Downloading the most popular dating app, he created a profile.

Name:

He furrowed his brows. Considering how this should be approached. Fuck it.

Name: Mr. Prince

Age: 21

Bio: I'm not here to date, I need a fake boyfriend for my annoying Christmas party. If you can hold your own and want a free meal hmu.

He considered not putting a photo, as he wasn't sure if anyone would recognize him from Judge's PR stunts. Sanji opted to taking a picture of his hand holding a cigarette. It might look edgy, it might look suspicious, but he had hit rock bottom a while ago and he was not above pulling out a pickaxe/sledgehammer. //idk which one i should put or do i put smth at all v smsl da e kato "he hit rock bottom but hes ready to go lower"

He scrolled through a couple of profiles, accepting all of them with very little ones he didn't swipe to accept, killing time until it was time yo go to the restaurant.

Not even ten minutes into the shift, Sanji had to turn his phone's sound and vibrations off. The constant buzzing was more irritating than Carne's unstoppable blabbering.

Sanji's smoke break could not have come faster.

With a cigarette in hand, he held his phone in the other. Honestly, he didn't know what to expect... Dick pic, dick pic, a comment about his "slim fingers wrapped around-", alright this was disheartening. He lingered on a profile that looked a bit too suspicious - no photo of the person's face, wasn't in a single frame, just a beautiful orange cat. But reading the bio of the person, Sanji decided to keep on looking, he might be too polite for his family's prodding.

There was another man. He looked, and Sanji was putting this lightly, like a criminal... Or a homeless criminal. Maybe he could give it a shot. He read the man's message.

Gin: I'm down if you're down ;)

Sanji knew better than to be hopeful, but giving it a shot, he typed out and clicked send.

Mr. Prince: down for what?

The ping sounded with the response of the man and it almost made Sanji's cigarette fall on the ground. He had never clicked the block button faster. What a creep.

Checking a few other profiles, he had started to get pissed off. He didn't have much more time left and he was on his third sig, one last profile and he would stop for now. His fingers were going to freeze and he was starting to worry it would snow soon.

Zoro: will there be booze

Sanji clicked his tongue and if he wasn't searching for someone impudent, he would have blocked him just to be petty. But that was probably a good sign. Scrolling though the man's profile told him a few things. Firstly he put his full legal name, so he was either naïve or didn't care much. He hoped it was the ladder. God how he hoped. Zoro, apparently, was well built and even though it said nothing, from the few pictures, Sanji could tell that he did some kind of martial arts. If he was guessing correctly, that would be a safe bet as to where he had gotten all those scars as well, including the one on his face. And that was the other thing: he only had two pictures and both of them were clearly taken by other people. The first one was of him at a bar with two other men, the backs of their heads only visible. It was quite cinematic, enough to make Sanji a bit suspicious if it wasn't just some screenshot from an indie film or something. The second picture was of him in front of a ramen shop, he was laughing at something off screen in a relaxed manner that both exuded confidence and filled Sanji with an ache for the social life he would usually never mourn.

Going back to the chat, he didn't give himself much time to think of a response.

"EGGPLANT! GET YOUR ASS BACK IN HERE!" Zeff's voice echoed.

Typing out a quick response, he pocketed his phone.

"Yeah, yeah, you old geezer! Can the restaurant not burn down every time I look away?" Sanji snapped back.

Zeff laughed. "You've always been funny, little eggplant."

Sanji could hear Patty and Carne snickering. "You- " He could feel his face burning. "Stop calling me that!" Hissing out. "And you two back there better stop laughing, I am the sous-chef, I can fire you!"

"Nah, you won't." Patty smirked.

"You'll always be my little eggplant." Zeff said with a far too fond smile. Damn it old man, how could Sanji stay angry at him?

With a tisk, He rolled up his sleeves again and went back to work.

By the end of his shift, he felt as exhausted as ever. The cook hadn't even noticed when he reached his apartment, or his room for that matter.

He took out his phone to set up another alarm, unsure if he would be able to wake up after his usual two.

Shit. He forgot he texted that guy.

He opened the chat.

Zoro: will there be booze

Mr. Prince: yeah, if you suffer through at least half of it

Zoro: if you dont wanna go so bad just dont

Zoro: also i hope you know ur acc looks like a bot

Zoro: still not sure its not

Damn it, he forgot to answer... At that point it was probably too late for Zoro to answer, but he had to answer now, if he didn't want to leave if for the morning in fear of forgetting again.

Mr Prince: sorry, I just got off work

Zoro: u deff don't sound like a bot atm

Mr Prince: I'm not? a bot??

Zoro: haha even ur responses look like a bot

Zoro: aight, was fun mr botman

Zoro: bye now

Mr Prince: WAIT!!!

Mr Prince: STUPID MARIMO HEAD COME BACK HERE

Mr Prince: FUCK YOUUUU

Mr Prince: GOD YOU RE SUCH A PRICK

Sanji was gripping his phone with anger. He couldn't believe this man was able to annoy him this much with so little words. If his brothers and father had anything in common with him, he would be able to get out of any conversation as long as he stuck with this man. It was a double edged sword, sure, but then again, he wouldn't have to deal with his family. He would chose any stranger over them.

He typed it something, just to delete it again. And again. Again... Damn it, the guy probably already blocked him. Or unmatched him, in any case, it wasn't like anything he wrote from then on would matter. he wouldn't see it.

Mr Prince: sorry

Before Sanji could close his phone, he saw the three dots that indicated the other was typing.

Zoro: damn ur so desperate for me

Sanji could feel his head heat up from anger and... Fuck this guy! What an asshole!

Mr Prince: I take it back.

Mr Prince: Go fuck yourself.

Zoro: no thanks

Zoro: s why i got this app

Mr Prince: ?

Zoro: idc abt relationships but being taken out and getting a good hookup after is easy here

Zoro: whatever tho

Zoro: were u srs abt the alcohol party

Mr Prince: yes

Zoro: cool

Zoro: when and where

Sanji could have gotten whiplash at how fast the conversation switched its tune, but nonetheless, he was too tired to get angrier. Needing this to end, he huffed a sigh and responded.

Mr Prince: It would be best if we meet and talk it out in person

Zoro: k

Mr Prince: Do you know Camie's Cafe? If you are free, we can go this Thursday at around 10.

Zoro: sure

Zoro: damn ur basic

Zoro: coffee date and superslims

Zoro: cant wait to see what ur hipsterass wears

Mr Prince: I am one second away from kicking your face in

Zoro: id like to see u try

Zoro: never been challenged by a failed pinterest collage

Zoro: ig theres a first for everything

The cook knew that answering would only rile him up more and encourage the man, so he ignored him instead. To make sure that he didn't put all his hopes on this overgrown house plant, he went back to looking though his other matches. Pitifully little serious ones. Half asleep he barely managed to go though them before passing out in his work clothes.

Thursday had come far too fast.

The snow was piling up and the little sparkling lights were being hung from traffic lights and leafless trees. Sanji looked at his phone - he was five minutes early.

He fidgeted with his gloves before entering, nervous.

The little bell on the top of the door rung, only making his anxiety spike even more. He scanned the tabled and felt himself able to breathe again when he didn't see the person he needed to meet. Going up to the counter, Sanji flashed a bright smile at the barista.

"Camie, my lovely flower!" He sighed theatrically. "How are you, this fine morning?"

"Oh! Hey, Sanji, I'm doing great. Hopefully, you are too!" The girl behind the counter gave him a friendly smile.

"Ah, well, I'm great! Never been better! Even though I fear that now that I saw you, my day has reached it's peak."

She laughed. "You say the silliest things."

His smile felt a bit less fake. Having to make a pretty lady laugh always made him feel a bit better. t least he could improve someone else's day...

"Hey, Casanova." A rude voice said behind him. "Are you gonna order or just take up the line space?"

Sanji turned around to see some guy. He was muscular and with an ugly scowl hiding behind glasses. The man was still wearing his winter hat but had his jacket unzipped and had nothing but a tank top with a low cut underneath.

"Eyes up here, dartbrow." He snarled.

Sanji looked behind the man, to see that there was no one else waiting. "You can shove your shitty attitude and the rest of the non-existing line up yours, cave man."

"Caveman?" He raised an eyebrow.

Damn, he looked familiar. "Yeah, one who talks big shit and wastes all my time picking fights with random people, like a prick."

"By the time it took you to flirt and throw meaning less blabber at me, you both of us would have gotten our drinks and been out of here."

"Whatever. I don't have time for idiots today." He turned to Camie, who in turn had been using the time of their bickering to make his usual drink. Bless her heart, women really were angels sent from above.

"Thank you, love." He smiled at her, leaving a big tip and the money for his order. Sitting down on a table for two, he took out his phone to text this Zoro guy. He must have been running late, because there was no one in line after the other guy and it was already five past ten.

Mr Prince: Did you arrive?

A familiar ping was heard from next to the counter. Sanji did not look up, as he saw the three dots indicating that Zoro was typing.

Zoro: Yeah

Zoro: ordering something and sitting down

Zoro: some poppas stick figure was holding up the line

Sanji froze on the spot. He was afraid to look up, but not too fond of reading the next message either. Shit... could it be? Did he actually have that much of bad luck?

Zoro: r u here btw

Zoro: ???

With great reluctance, Sanji looked up to the spot at the counter where the man was standing. He was now looking straight at him. Expression blank, just... staring.

He had taken off his glasses and hat, revealing the short green hair that was so prominent in the pictures on his profile. He looked so different when he wasn't smiling and wearing glasses or maybe it was just that Sanji had the talent to make his own life miserable...

The man typed out something on his phone, breaking eye-contact for a mere second, hitting send just to look Sanji in the eye when his phone pinged. A feral grin split his face as he approached Sanji's table.

The cook glanced down to see the notification saying "i think i c u" and cursed himself a bit.

"So what was the plan, exactly..." Zoro crossed his arms, making Sanji's eyes dart to his chest. And now that he was looking, really looking, the man was... handsome to say the least. He had a sharp jaw, he was toned and his chest was wide and muscly, squished like that it almost resembled breasts...

"What, is this a hook up thing or are you actually a scam artist..." Zoro said again, drawing Sanji out of his daze. He was no longer smiling, genuinely pissed off.

The cook's eyes involuntarily darted to the man's chest once more, double, triple take, because damn he was big when he had his arms crossed like that.

"You got a problem with eye-contact there, buddy?" Zoro snarled once more,

If Sanji didn't feel like he had a nosebleed coming along just from looking at him, he would have jumped at the chance to fight him. But bleeding before the fight was far too humiliating. "S- sorry. It's had to- give me a second." He covered his nose and mouth with his hand and looked at anything and everything that wasn't in Zoro's direction. "It's not a "hook up thing", I actually need a fake date..." Sanji kept on looking away.

When he got no response, he dared to look at the man in front of him again. With great displeasure, he found he was giving him the most disbelieving and annoyed look known to man kind.

"Hey!" Sanji shouted. "What the hell is that look for!"

The brute rolled his eye. "This all seems like too much trouble. Why shouldn't I just leave?"

"Because you're here in the first place and if I'm right, your not the type to fo things half-assed."

Zoro smirked.

"And uh..." Sanji looked away. "It's in two days and I don't have time to look for anyone else."

Zoro's smirk disappeared. "Before I give you a yes or no, I need to see your hand."

"What!?" Sanji squeeked. Shrinking into himself as heads started tiring to them.

"Hand." Zoro extended his palm in expectation.

"This is so demeaning." Sanji sighed. He gave his left hand letting the mosshead take it. The cook wasn't sure what he expected but it wasn't to have his hand held with warm hands being turned this way and that. Despite the unhappy look on the man's face, Zoro was... surprisingly gentle.

"No."

"No?" Sanji echoed.

"The other one." He looked at the cook with such determination that it was hard to say anything in response. Speechless, Sanji placed his other hand into thw gentle, rough hands. He watched Zoro look at his hand, running his finger over the knuckle of his thumb. A small smile, barely noticeable to anyone who wasn't staring at Zoro, appeared on his face. It was such a faint thing and yet it softened the man's face, suddenly, the beautiful man in those pictures was in front of Sanji.

"Okay." Zoro hummed. He looked up at the cook again.

He was still holding Sanji's hand.

"Okay, what?" The blond pulled his hand away, regretting the loss of the other's warmth immediately. His face felt hot.

"I'll do it. Your family thing."

"Oh? Great!" Sanji beamed. "I prepared a little... uh... thing." He took out a piece of paper. "Before that, I just want to say we should probably put down some boundaries. Whatever you do is fine if it'll help with the convincing. Please do tour best not to get into any physical altercations..."

"They've said I look aggressive but-"

"No, no. It's... well, my brothers are kind of assholes to put it lightly. I really don't give a fuck how you treat them, but leave my sister out of it."

Despite the fact that Zoro's lack of reaction, Sanji decided to continue.

"I took out a few questions to make this more believable. So if we can memorize a few facts about each other-"

"What?" Zoro shot his eye to the blond.

"What."

"You want me to study for this thing? Why would I want to deal with shitty people and-"

"I'll pay you."

Zoro's eyebrow twitched ever the slightest. But Sanji knew. He was interested. Or at least that was what Sanji hoped it was.

"I can pay you if you survive at least two hours at the party. And if you don't fuck anything up for me and convince them well enough of course."

Zoro hummed. If it was enough to cover his debt to the witch... Damn it. He was going to do it in anyway, but this was a very welcome bonus.

"How much are we talking?" Zoro asked.

"You sound like a loan shark."

The green haired man almost chuckled at the irony.

"I'm kind of in a tight spot, myself... so how does a thousand berry sound?"

"A thousand?" Zoro raised an eyebrow.

The blond looked at him with slight disappointment at himself. "No? How about two thousand?"

Damn... Zoro never considered this guy could be rich. "And the free booze?"

"Of course."

Zoro did a half-nod. He reached over and grabbed the paper from the man's hands. "Okay, let's get this over with." He put on his glasses and squinted for a moment as he was reading. "These are some of the dumbest questions I've- what is this?" He looked up at Curlybrows with a mocking smile. "What is this, some kind of "need to know basis to know my lover" questionnaire?" He cleared his throat and started reading. "Number three - Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why? Oh. Or this one -" He pointed at the list as if the other could see what he was showing. "The eighth one: Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common." He laughed. "We just met."

The blond's face became a bright red.

"Oh my God, it is..."

The blond snatched the list out of the green-haired man's hands and stood up. With angry and hurried movements he got dressed and left the building.

Ah. Fuck.

Zoro left his things and ran out after the man. "Hey, wait." He tried but the other seemed to ignore him. He realized he had no idea what the other other person's name was. "Prince!" He yelled, a few meters away.

The snow was starting to pile up, lightly raining and falling on his bare shoulders. It was starting to sting a little, not that it bothered him.

"Prince, wait! Curlybrows, hold on, I'm sorry, okay-" Zoro put a hand on the other's shoulder.

In a flash of movement, unknown how, when or from where, Zoro felt something conecting with his jaw. Painful and unexpected. Zoro stumbled back, if it was him just an year ago, he would have fallen flat on his ass, whatever- whatever hit him-

He looked at the blond man in front of him - leg held in the air and a mean look.

"Fuck off!"

If it weren't all hanging on a thread, Zoro would have tried sparing with the man, but not the place or time... "Curly, look, we're not gonna get to know each other from a morning of twenty-one questions." He dusted himself off, standing up.

The silence he got as an answer was enough to make him continue.

"Clear a day and find a less crowded place and I'll tell you what you want to know." The blond opened his mouth to speakbugot cut off. "What you want to know. Not some pop quiz."

Curlybrows sealed his mouth into a thin line and huffed. "Fine." He shuffled a bit before continuing. "Go back inside before you freez to death."

"I'm fine." Zoro rolled his eye.

"Sure." A sarcastic snarl.

It was almost a year ago.

Zoro was used to going to Luffy's crazy parties, it was a best friend's duty to make sure he didn't break his skull. For some reason, that new year's eve party, Luffy had decided to invite everyone he knows.

It was a mess to say the least.

Zoro lost Luffy in the sea of people within the first hour. He wasn't too worried though, because as far as he heard, he was somewhere with Usopp and that man had as much self-preservation as Luffy had energy. He was at least sure that they weren't going to have to call a hospital this time.

A bit into the night, he remembered a firy ginger-haired girl who bet that she could out-drink him. She introduced herself as Nami, monopolizing the bar area. To her credit - she already seemed a bit buzzed, so when he won, he wasn't too surprised. True, it was her girlfriend, who had called it quits, but it wasn't like she would have lasted much longer anyway.

Zoro had never been a light weight, but the girl had some backbone on her and had him swaying a bit near the end of their drink-off.

He wasn't drunk. No. He could remember almost everything from that night and he had full control of his body. It was just that his brain to mouth filter was even shorter and his reactions seemed slightly slower.

Nonetheless, it was fine.

It was more than fine because that night was about to become the most amazing night in his life.

Umsure of where he was going, Zoro walked around the house, looking for Luffy. There was no sight of him in the past hour or so and it starting to worry the man.

He stood in the midst of one of the larger rooms, looking around. He felt someone bump into him. By the time he had to turn around and see who it was, Zoro barely managed to dodge a knee to his stomach.

There was a blond man in front of him, the most vibrant blue eyes and soft-looking lips, redness in his cheeks and a heaviness in his eyelids - he was clearly drunk. And yet, the blond looked ready to murder him. What a sight.

"Watch where're goin'... " The man slurred his speech.

Zoro didn't have the time to say anything before someone else bumped into them, causing the fall of a plate that Zoro hadn't noticed im the other's hands.

The blond looked down at the fallen food, his eyes quickly becoming red and wet with unshed tears. "Who's gonna eat my cooking now?" He sniffled. " 's all y'ur fault!" He poked at Zoro.

Not minding the comment, Zoro grabbed the plate and knelt down and started collecting the dropped food off the ground. It looked like some kind of pastrie. One of it was stepped on, chocolate spilling from it's side.

When Zoro stood up again, he pretended not to notice that he was being tracked by the bright blue eyes. The blond man reached out to take the plate but stopped when he saw Zoro grabbing a handfull of the pasties and starting to eat them. Not leaving one on the plate, Zoro expected to get scolded for eating dirty food, or maybe the man was drunk enough to get mad for having his food eaten.

But no, he was just watching the other with wide eyes.

"I wanna kiss you..." The blond said, barely above a whisper.

And since his body seemed to move faster than his brain, "You're beautiful" was all Zoro could say in response.

"I'm really tired." After a small pause. "How was it?"

"Delicious. I hate chocolate." Before the blond could comprehend thw comment, Zoro continued. "You made those?"

"Yeah." He nodded. Adorable. " 'm a chef!"

"No wonder you're Luffy's friend." Zoro laughed.

"Imma get my own rest'rant soon!" His eyes sparked. " 's gonna be big an' blue, an' we'll never leave anyone hungry."

Zoro raised an eyebrow, apparently an indication for the other to continue. Small side steps out of the way of one or another person had them somehow on one of the couches. The blond leaning in, enthusiastically talking about cooking with a passion that filled Zoro with warmth he hadn't felt in a while. Even though the drowsiness and fatigue of the night, the man carried on with the intricacies of each dish, product or cooking utensil.

Half-asleep on Zoro's chest, still talking, letting the green-haired man pay with his right hand. Commiting to memory every little cut and mole - like the one on his thumb, or the little calluses on his fingers from holding a knife for hours on end.

When he looked out to see there was snow piling, he couldn't care for it much. He'd never felt warmer.

In the morning, Zoro had gotten up to roam about the house in search of something to drink. One of the things he regretted most. The next thing he knew, he was coming back to an empty couch and Luffy - stuffing his face with eggs that smelled far too amazing to be made by him.

"Luffy, where did the blond cook go?"

Still chewing, Luffy grinned. " 'oro! 'Anji 'e't 'or 'ork."

He left for work?

Zoro had been resigned to the thought of never seeing him again. All until he saw a familiar looking hand on an app he hadn't used in months. But it couldn't be him, right? That would be too good to be true.

#zosan #fake dating au #modern au #zoro x sanji #zoro's kinda an asshole in this one #op #wip fic #unfinished wip

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