#What Once Was

[tklsh-love]

randomly mourning the 2018-ish era of tickle tumblr, where everybody randomly made hot af long-form written content and teasy audios on the regular. like that was the fucking renaissance. we were all in our creative peak.

petition to bring that back, pls n thank.

[stormimur]

me: oh ya imma just work 4 days a week for a month or two to help me afford my yarn addiction

also me, in the midst of it: scream crying

[beebisbeeble]

This is it. The last world.

[greenandsorrow]

What once was.

the secret history fanfic

"One likes to think there's something in it, that old platitude amor vincit omnia. But if I've learned one thing in my short sad life, it is that that particular platitude is a lie. Love doesn't conquer everything. And whoever thinks it does is a fool."

I'm a fool... Richard was right. Love has the power to conquer many things, it can make the shy act brave and the brave act shy, but it cannot conquer death. I used to think Henry could not be conquered by neither love or death. I such was a fool.

Author's note 🦋

This story will be very self indulgent and maybe not for everyone! I am aware that the characters of the book aren't meant to be romanticised and I'm also aware of all the elitism and pretense that's portrayed in the book, but I still love it. If you love it too, you'll excuse me, I know it. 🏛️☕

No Bacchanal will take place in this fic. The characters will still be messed up, but not guilty of murder. Richard won't be the narrator. Another mention, this is Henry centred!

The Secret History left a big impression on me when I first read it (I've read it three times so far) because: I) I'm greek, live in Greece & speak greek, II) during high school I had to study ancient greek and latin to death III) I have a morbid longing for the picturesque at all costs.

I hope you'll like my attempt at inserting a new character. Obviously, this isn't even trying to compare to Donna Tart's exquisite talent, it's just fanfiction.

That's just an introduction. I'm a bit insecure about writing something I aspire to be a bit more "serious", especially when it comes to my use of the English language, but it's fine I guess.

The title is basically "What once was" by Her's.

My OC, Rita, is definitely my shameless self insert. I didn't want to make her flawless, without any negative traits. I also wanted to explore the contradiction between a raw, almost bohemian person against Henry's perfectionistic and almost non-human at times personality. Rita is genuine, she is simple but in a complicated way (like all of us). She shares the same passion of the ancient world with her classmates, but not in their flamboyant manner. In a way it's her heritage, Plato, Homer & the twelve Gods of Olympus, but she embraces the fact in a grounded way, not in an obsessive one.

Just like the title is inspired by a song, so is Henry & Rita's backstory. The childhood I'll be referring to is inspired by Taylor Swift's song "seven". You don't have to be a Swiftie to enjoy this fic, but do listen to the song. It describes the purity of childhood friendships. Childhood friends that get separated for years only to find each other by chance (or fate) is all the information you need for now.

Warnings; possibility of smut/ nsfw content, mentions of childhood trauma and abandonment, triggering themes in general, physical injuries, mental issues, self harm, homophobic people from the 80's, some cute moments that might be out of character for the gang, stereotypes that I don't resign with but are part of the plot, dark themes that might have to do with death, pov changes

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[rebeccawritesbooks]

What Once Was Snippet: Chapter 3

Giving you guys more content for this novel draft because I don't have a beta reader and I need someone else's eyes on it.

Marcus walked out onto the road and grabbed his phone from his pocket: 12:01 AM. Mom and Dad were already asleep at this point. He’d feel guilty calling them to pick him up. He ran his finger through his hair and sighed. Maybe he should just suck up his social anxiety and talk to people.

But right as he turned to go back inside, headlights came down the road. They were obnoxiously bright, and Marcus had to shield his eyes. A black SUV slowed to a stop right next to him. He backed away a little.

The window rolled down. A man smiles at Marcus, his brown eyes warm. He gestured for Marcus to move closer, and he did. He was older, probably around his dad’s age.

“Hey kid, you okay?” he asked.

Marcus nods. “Yeah, just trying to see if my friend’s ready to go home yet.”

The man looked at Marcus with an expression he couldn’t read. “Are you? ‘Cause I can give you a ride home if that’s okay.”

Marcus’s stomach knotted a little. When he was in kindergarten, there were so many stranger danger talks. He used to be terrified of strangers. Until he got older and realized that most danger was within your inner circle. Yet even now, he was still wary.

“Um…”

“It’s okay. I live down a little further that way,” the man said, pointing behind him. “Caleb’s family knows me.”

Marcus pursed his lips. He mentioned Caleb by name. And he looked friendly enough. The man’s eyes didn’t have any malice behind them. Marcus looked back at the house one more time; Christian definitely wasn’t coming out of there anytime soon.

“Sure, thanks.” Marcus popped open the backseat door. The car smelled like new leather and something he couldn’t quite place. The car gently chimed until he put on a seatbelt. There was a black bag in the passenger seat. From this angle, the guy’s hair looked kind of messy.

“So, where are we headed?” he asked.

“Uh, Lakemont. Do you need directions, or–”

“I know where I’m going,” the man said shortly. Marcus winced a little at his tone. The man glanced in the rearview mirror and smiled. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s no problem,” Marcus mumbled. The shapes of trees and brush crept by as they moved. A song played softly on the radio, but he couldn’t quite make out what it was. The man tapped his finger along to it and hummed.

“So, you look a little younger than the other folks there. How old are you?”

“I turned sixteen a couple weeks ago,” Marcus replied.

The man nodded. “Well, happy late birthday.” Marcus didn’t know how to respond to that. “So, you got anyone waiting up for you?”

Marcus snorted. “My sister, maybe. But my parents are definitely asleep.”

The man raised his brow in the rearview mirror. “Really?”

Marcus’s stomach twisted. His hands slowly crept to the door handle. “Yeah. My dad might still be working, though.”

The man hummed. His hands tapped against the steering wheel. “So, Marcus, how is your mom doing?”

Marcus’s heart practically stopped. What? “I didn’t tell you my name,” he whispered.

The man nodded. “I know.”

The car pulled over to the side of the road. Marcus’s hand latched around the door handle and tugged. Nothing happened. He tugged again. Nothing; it was locked. Panic began to surge in Marcus. Oh god, he’s going to die!

The car pulled to a stop near a bunch of tall bushes. The man turned around, the kindness in his eyes long gone. No, now they were cold, calculating. Marcus pulled at the door handle. 

“Who are you?” Marcus asked, his voice desperate.

The man smiled at him. “You don’t recognize your old man?”

[sheltiechicago]

David van Dartel: Billiew en Paduey II, from the series What Once Was

Dutch photographer David van Dartel’s series explores friendship and masculinity through portraits of young adults in European countries. Brothers Billiew and Paduey fled Sudan at a young age, settling in Glasgow. They were photographed on a trip to Loch Lomond, the first time they had visited the Scottish Highlands. Van Dartel’s portrait expresses the emotional intimacy, trust and vulnerability shared by the brothers, as a counterpoint to more traditional representations of masculine friendships

Taylor Wessing portrait prize

[ahollowgrave]

Thinking about Odette's ancient form again... I don't think it was Azem but admittedly I don't have much. I know her name is/was Leuce/Leuke and she works under Hades/Emet.

I don't ship Hades/Odette-in-any-form because I just... can't. I like him as a character and I find him interesting in a 'pin him under glass' kind of way. (Odette is a lesbian, also, but I don't think all shards need to have the same sexuality because why would they. But that said I def don't ship Leuke/Hades as it just doesn't satisfy me the way I like ships to) In Greco-Roman mythology, Leuke was a nymph (an Oceanid) that Hades fell in love with and spirited away to the underworld. This feels familiar. When she eventually passes, after her full life, Hades turns her body into a white popular tree in the Elysian Fields. As such, white poplars became a symbol of those we loved who have died as well as hope for a peaceful afterlife. (This is why I mentioned shipping.) I think, rather than Emet-Selch being in love with Leuke he see's her as someone he can groom to be his eventual replacement. Death's apprentice. (Less love, still spiriting away to the Underworld) In current time, Odette's eyes "started out" as an icy blue and as she grew into her abilities as a psychopmp one of them shifted to lavender. Her vision also altered -- I say she can see ghosts and other hidden things and I am beginning to think it's not so different from Hades' soul sight. Albeit a much weaker and less useful version, given the sundered state of it all? I do think Leuce had soul sight, as well, likely part of the reason Hades picks her to work so closely with him. Mayhap it was weak and she spent most of her time trying to find ways to enhance it. As well as any work delegated to her by Emet-Selch, of course. Personality wise I'm still rock tumbling her. I do think she and Emet have a very Uncle/Niece relationship, but also does that make sense for ancients?????? I'm gonna have to do more thinking and reading to really build this. I know I don't want her to be Odette But To The Left.

Much to think about.

[amongthefallingstar]

Baby, I've been there before

I was at the point where all I really wanted was someone

And now I'm still hanging on

I was at the end of every tether waiting for what once was.

[hanna-oc-irl]

Sigh.

The fsm or literally just fate itself must really hate it when I get some kinda peace.

Anyway.

Happy day of the departed everyone.

I'm going to mourn what once was and cuddle with void

[traveling-paradise]

This song makes me both happy and also a little melancholic💜

[lunathis-thoughts]

ugh i remember the first time i heard the song, "what once was" and was so excited to see more about the band only to find out they passed away... the biggest heartbreak it's so unfair 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

[sheltiechicago]

The Beauty Of Friendship

David van Dartel (b. 1995) is an acclaimed Dutch photographer whose work focuses on friendship and masculinity. Two of his series, On Vlieland and What Once Was, are making their New York debut at Klompching Gallery, in collaboration with Elliot Gallery, Amsterdam. Dartel sets his subjects within peaceful landscapes, shining a light on the beauty of platonic intimacy and tenderness.

[kickdrumheart68]

Band Of Horses - No One's Gonna Love You [OFFICIAL VIDEO]