#Will this ever get fixed :cccc

[mrp0ssum]

I really hate spotify shuffle cause how do I have 640 liked songs and still hear the same 5 over and over again??????

[disruptivevoib]

Long Ramble about CCCC and my overall feelings on what the album means and such

Something I find important about CCCC is like.

The fact that all three of them are, in some way, trying.

Heart is emotion, he is prone to himself and being reactionary, in the moment. Prone to the past of learned behavior and trauma. Reactive and rapidly changing. He isn't going to make pure sense because he isn't based in logic or in societal ideals or views. He is an instinctual response to the environment and circumstances. His manipulation is not intentional. He has very little control of himself in the end. Its why Mind talks about claiming to relish entropy yet clearly needing help. But, Heart in earnest wants them to be okay and safe. He believes that Mind's control will drain the life from them. It will make things monotonous and the same. Too much order.

Mind in turn, believes Heart is manipulative with intention. He wants to control Soul or wants to just drag them all down with him into this depressive state. Mind is logic, he is the reasoning out of your emotional instinct. Your inner critique, and when unchecked, that inner critique goes from a guiding hand for your emotion to one that debates and bullies it. Invalidating its responses. Ultimately, though. Mind just believes he is helping. He is doing what must be done and telling the "hard truths" to Heart. And that Heart is being the petty child. Which- I mean. Sort of sure. But Mind is definitely fucking petty and childish. He's stubborn! Prideful! So ofc he is. Admitting you're wrong? No.. why would he EVER do that.. nuh uh.

Which is what makes Light so crucial. Mind asking Heart for help- but also. There is Soul.

Who while ambiguous in purpose, is mostly that background voice. Your inner narration. If Mind is Logic and Reason then Heart is Emotion and Instinct,, Soul is all that lives between it. And he is constantly silenced or spoken over or around. He does not get a word in edgewise until TSE. He may show up in the background occasionally but as much as Heart and Mind claim to want to keep him alive and help him, they also fail to actually acknowledge what he says.

Which is that they both are right and wrong. That this fighting is doing directly what they both feared it would. Soul is desperate by the end. He is angry and resentful because.. well. Self hatred due to intense self awareness and reflection is rather ig. Common. Im not a professional here but from personal experience, you get so tired of rehashing the same shit with yourself over and over. It all feels pointless.

The only out, by the end of it all to Soul is that if they cannot be Whole, whats the point? He is desperate. He does not want to die but he feels theres no other solution.

And. About Whole, Soul throughout the album seems to want that. At the beginning, to be Whole or Harmonious is to be mentally healthy, maybe even "normal" by society's standards. To be able to put a mask over your problems and be, again, "normal". It takes the entire album for Soul to realize that this:

1. isnt possible

And

2. There isn't anything evil or wrong with him for that.

Mental health is a struggle. But you are not evil and should not be othered because you struggle. You also do not need to be fixed for being a little different and people's opinion of you is not what matters most so long as you are happy (and not hurting others. Lol).

Thats what Two Wuv is entirely about as a song. Its a "fuck you. Fuck this! I thought I needed to be this! But I DON'T. Stop telling me who I am! How to be! I'm gonna be me!"

His entire arc is parallel to Heart and Mind's and is crucial in the culmination of becoming yourself again and accepting yourself.

But, as mental health will always be, this period of respite and self acceptance is not always forever. And as life continues or as you lapse back into a depressive episode.. you cannot help but forget what it is like when you're not this way- and hell! Vice versa too! Some people have this disconnect between the periods. Where the things from the depressive state seem dramatic or obtuse to you while you are doing better. And from the other end, you just want to be happy again.. but you get so lost in it all you can struggle to feel like you've ever been happy.

The album is about the human experience. It is about self-sabotage, mental illness, self-hatred and reflection and it is, maybe more importantly about self-acceptance and healing. Having a bit of mercy on yourself. Accepting that you are imperfect and that this is okay. And whatever flaws you may have that need to be mended or worked on, can be. And that who you are, for example, if you are queer, is okay. And no one has the right to take that identity from you! That the internalized ideas of how someone should be are not always correct or right. Not for you, at least. Stuff like that.

[sunnydayaoe]

{Dress up}

[CCCC FIC] Contains: Platonic Soul and Whole, sfw Petre[~4,500 words]

Soul really could not be normal. Clutched in His hands, the cutest little calico cat ear headband he'd ever seen. He gestured to himself, to Whole, to them, voice squeaky, "Is that-" for me? He really couldn't finish any sentence today, staring into His eyes: Deep brown and probably considering just how pathetic Soul was being. He shouldn't have asked. He could feel the shame, red like his halo in the midst of cacophony, creeping across his face. -- Dress up!!! Whole buys Soul some cat ears :]

Fic under cut! or on AO3

One would assume, wrongfully, that he would know better than this. He had assumed he knew better than this. Mocking him, taunting even, a little plastic bag carried the cause of his strife. Innocently sitting on his kitchen counter, contents spilling out the slightest bit: calico cat ears and a matching tail.

Pathetic to be so worked up over such a simple thing. It made him infinitely grateful Mind and Heart had left for a walk earlier and his Soul hadn't left its room for the day yet; Whole assumed he was just enjoying some alone time with both its ids and Whole out of the house.

He cringed as his thoughts drifted back to his Soul. The calico themed ensemble had been bought for him, after all.

Nothing was wrong with them, at a glance. Plush, soft to the touch, colored bright and cheery, they seemed exactly what someone who'd buy them would want out of them. What had drawn his eye in the first place, the signature black and orange splotching reminding him terribly of his Soul, looked charming even in the shitty kitchen lighting. He groaned, slumped over the counter, annoyed with how easily he was taken in by them.

It wasn't just that he'd gotten cat ears for his... friend, before he could think better of it. It was that Soul would definitely balk at the idea of wearing them.

He didn't think there was any shame in wearing cat themed paraphernalia, didn't even think Soul would find it shameful to wear them, but that wasn't the problem here. Soul already had fuzzy ears and a short little tail, rendering this wholly unnecessary.

Frankly, he would just look downright goofy in the whole ensemble. Curved, sharp horns with a cat-ear headband at the base, further down real goat's ears, and then even further a fake cat-tail to hang beside its real fawn. And, well... It would look cute. He just didn't think his Soul would have a similar view.

He slid his hand over his face, another noise escaping his lips. This was just embarrassing.

He knew Soul didn't need any new equipment for pet regression: at least, he'd never asked for or made any himself. Doing this, getting him things he definitely didn't want and would probably feel stupid wearing, was another tally in the mess he'd made of his Soul's existence.

He wished there was a guide to being someone’s... to being someone’s.

He'd flipped through article after article about " how to be a good roommate, " " all the things that only your good friends would do for you, " and even several blogs about being a good caretaker, yet none of them seemed to know the answers for all of... this.

He should throw them away. A waste of money, a waste of time, but what wasn't, nowadays? It'd be a bigger waste if Soul saw them and finally realized Whole wasn't worth as much as he clearly thought he was. He could see it so clearly. His Soul's eyes, wide with wonder and adoration darkening with understanding; seeing Whole for who he clearly was, a waste of time and effort.

Maybe that would be a blessing: getting it over with. It probably wouldn't fix anything. Soul- and Heart and Mind- were all stuck with him, their only Whole.

He shook his head. He couldn't be getting bogged down by thoughts like that now.

The bag was in his hand and he was halfway down the hallway before he could start overthinking again. His own trash-can would be best; he could just imagine the reactions if any of the three found his mistake in a more communal trash-can. He'd never live it down.

He made it to his room without interruption, thankfully.

With a 'oomf' he flopped into his desk chair, the bag ending up on the desk itself. He should throw it away, but...

The headband was in his hands, horribly soft. He fidgeted with it, and tried not to imagine them on Soul. Failed, like many other things, but the picture did bring a smile to his face. His Soul would look extremely goofy in them; adding the tail to the mental image brought out a giggle.

He was just having a little thought experiment before he threw them away, that was all. It wasn't hurting anyone.

Maybe this earned him karma's ire though, or maybe it was another bullet on the long list of problems he'd caused. Either way, lady luck was not smiling upon him.

His door creaked open, Soul peeking in, a smile drawing across his face in an instant. "Whole, you're back! Would you like to ha-"

He knew why he stopped.

Single visible eye dilated in, focused on the headband in his hands. It reminded him of that searching look Soul got on his face anytime he hadn't seen Whole for any notably long amount of time; searching, intense- looking for faults, for why he cared about him at all, probably.

"Is that...?" Soul gestured vaguely, like he didn't know what it was trying to say but trusted Whole implicitly to understand.

Whole did Not understand.

------

The day had been going well. Almost unreasonably well.

Heart and Mind had been civil, even affectionate, all morning. They'd left the house together some time early in the evening. A part of him {one he had been listening to less and less as of late} feared they wouldn't be returning, at least not in one piece. Most of him just hoped they got back early enough to join them for dinner.

Most of the unease was centered on the fact that Whole had gone shopping, though.

It made him feel clingy and a bit pathetic to worry so much when all He was doing was a simple errand, but oh, Harmonia, was it hard not to imagine something horrible happening to his Whole while he was not there.

It was fine, he could deal with it! Harmonia would return, probably with a little extra treat He'd gotten while He was out, and a satisfied smile. Getting out would be good for Him. Soul really should just... calm down.

That was what he'd tried to tell himself all morning, anyway.

He could feel the stress sinking in further, and he wanted nothing more than to curl up against Harmonia and forget all the stress of being apart. That would be dreadfully embarrassing though. He was probably going shopping to get away from them for a little bit {and, well... Shop.}, Soul attaching himself to His hip right as He got back would be tantamount to going right against Harmonia's will.

He could be normal! He... he could be normal just as soon as he gave Him a little check in. The footsteps, quiet as they were, let him know Harmonia had gotten back from His little trip. Maybe Soul could ask if He'd want lunch. Maybe they could eat it together...

He slapped his cheeks, shaking his head out like a dog. Getting ahead of himself again, daydreams filling his head. He needed to get a grip!

Just... just be normal, he reminded himself, with a final steadying breath. His door had been left open a crack, and with that note he pushed Harmonia's door open.

"Whole, you're back! Would you like to ha-" the sentence remained unfinished.

He really could not be normal.

Clutched in His hands, the cutest little calico cat ear headband he'd ever seen. He let out a near inaudible noise, though from what he could see He didn't seem to notice.

He gestured to himself, to Whole, to them, voice squeaky, "Is that-" for me? He really couldn't finish any sentence today, could he.

Whoever said that eyes were the window to the soul was clearly lying out of their ass, because what Soul saw in Harmonia’s eyes was not himself. Deep brown and probably considering just how pathetic Soul was being. He shouldn't have asked. He could feel the shame, red like his halo in the midst of cacophony, creeping across his face.

What was he waiting for? Soul to finish his sentence? That ship had clearly sailed and crashed… maybe he was trying to figure out how to let Soul down gently; that made more sense. His Harmonia was so sweet, of course He wouldn't want to be too cruel in His rejection.

Of course those sweet little trinkets wouldn’t be for Soul.

Whole moved, snapping Soul out of his thoughts immediately. Eyes wide, searching for any sign of what Soul was supposed to do. How he could be perfect.

His arms, holding the headband, had curled inwards. Like praying {like Soul}.

Harmonia, Whole, cleared His throat, like He didn't know what to say. He didn't say anything for a moment longer, awkward. Another cough. Soul was slightly worried He might just be sick. Soul's throat ached in sympathy, or maybe that was just because he'd stopped breathing.

"Soul-" He finally started, "This is- I just... I bought these earlier. Ah, while I was doing errands." He cringed, like He didn't really want to be talking about this. Talking to Soul.

Soul should probably answer, "Oh." No sound came out when he tried to continue, so he quickly shut his mouth. Maybe he would Not be answering with more than that. Maybe he should just walk out the door and dig himself a pit to lie in. Maybe Heart had the right idea.

Whole cringed back even further at that; Soul definitely made a mistake. Should he... try talking again? Before Soul could try another attempt at normal conversation, a futile effort, Harmonia was continuing.

"You can, ah, have them. If you want." He made a little motion to come closer; it was kind of an awful effort, motion aborted half-way through like He was embarrassed to be taking up more space than He already was.

It was all Soul needed though, and with a motion more practiced and sure than anything else that evening Soul had stumbled forward and landed on his knees before Him. The position, the cat ears it wasn't even wearing, the fact he'd felt stressed all day... It was hard to stay present, to not regress.

His Whole was already so stressed, He probably didn't want to deal with that right now. Soul could keep it together, for Him. {He knew he couldn't. Everything already felt a little fuzzy. Weak, but maybe Harmonia would forgive him.}

His face was a little twisted up, something sour that quickly smoothed out into calm. "Do you want me to put it on you...?"

Soul thought that was already the plan. He really kept embarrassing himself, didn't he? He did a little almost imperceptible nod, something Harmonia had to lean down to see.

Finally something that wasn't negative; He smiled, sweet and small and lopsided and perfect. "Let me..." He murmured, quiet, before slowly reaching out with the headband. Soul tried to stay still, really, he did. His efforts were fruitless, because the instant His hands dipped around his ears, gently sliding the headband on, he was had.

As if his body and mind were not one {ironic, because he was not the one split in three in this room,} he leaned into the hands with a hum. Warm, soft, kind. He made a noise at that, surprised and amused. With the smallest adjustment to the headband, His hands moved forwards to cup his face instead, tilting it up to stare up at Him.

"Cute...."

Soul's face was bright red. That didn't stop him from leaning in until nearly his entire head was supported by Harmonia's hands though. He scooted the smallest bit closer, head nearly in His lap.

Harmonia's thumb gently rubbing along his cheek was the last straw. He shouldn't have expected not to fall like this, He was just being too indulgent, affectionate. How was he supposed to resist...?

He nuzzled into His hands, shuffling the last few inches closer until he could set his head in His lap. Like a lapdog, or perhaps a very large cat, he looked up at Harmonia, eyes half-lidded. Harmonia seemed taken aback by his boldness, but Soul was too busy enjoying the feeling of His soft denim pants, skin-warmed, against his cheek to notice.

Another moment frozen, a moment where Soul started to almost regret his actions, almost came back up. It only lasted that single second though, His hands beginning to move again. One stayed against his cheek, the other drifting back behind his ear. "Are you a kitty right now...? I should have expected this." A ting of self deprecation, like He couldn't get over how stupid He was.

Soul wouldn't be standing for that, not when Harmonia was the definition of perfection. With a whine he nuzzled against his lap, staring up at Him with large baleful eyes. His arms reached up, paws on his knees. The picture of a pleading kitten.

He laughed, attention redirected back to Soul. "Sorry, sorry. I didn't mean to worry you, bud."

That laugh was nearly angelic. Everything he’d ever need to hear for the rest of his life. He hummed, nuzzling further against Harmonia, trying to elicit more giggles and coos.

Anything to make his Whole happy. Anything to keep Him content to lower Himself to his presence.

It was like that for a few more moments, Harmonia’s hands carding through his hair. His nails were bit short, blunt, but still wonderful against his scalp. Still, like all good things, it could not last.

“Soul,” He started, before stopping. Words coming out before He’d considered them, or maybe the pause added in for some secretive sort of purpose Soul wasn't able to get, world so fuzzy at this point.

The lack of structure was unideal though. He couldn’t help but be reminded of that awful song He would sing when existence became too taxing. Each word drifting further and further from one another…

“Do you want off the floor?” A question interrupted his musing. "You can, ah-" He paused, the hesitance back, His face a bit red, "you can sit in my lap, if you want..."

He nodded with barely a moment's consideration. The floor was nice, if only because he had easy access to Harmonia. His lap, though…? That sounded heavenly.

The right answer, of course. Smiling down at him like a forgiving deity, practically glowing. It made him forget to start moving, just admiring instead. The smile faltered after a beat of him proceeding to do absolutely nothing, confusion clouding His eyes. Seeming to realize Soul wasn't going to be getting up himself, He reached down, arms a bit hesitant as they curled around him.

Of course Soul was nothing but relaxed in His arms, nearly going limp the second he could feel Him supporting him. A faux purr started up, the noise interrupted every other second with a giggle. He needed to calm down- but it was so so hard to, when He kept looking at him like that.

"And there we go!" With one last motion and a little scrabbling from Soul he was finally in His lap. "That better, bud?"

He nodded, face pressed to His shoulder. All the stress that had been plaguing him seemed to melt away in His arms, warm and present and undeniably there. It was hard, at times, to believe this was really his reality, but even dreams didn't feel this nice: undeniable proof that concord had been achieved.

And could anyone blame him? He’d like to see a single person who wouldn’t melt into these arms.

Gentle cooing, hands slowly carding through his hair… on second thought, the idea of someone else getting this instead of him sounded awful.

He cuddled closer, the side of his left horns bumping into Harmonia’s chin. In his haste, he finally noticed a detail about the calico cat ears: they had bells. Little jingly ones that made a sound anytime he moved his head. Delightful!

He shook his head, trying to get more of the clinking noises. This also earned him a squeak from Harmonia as his horns were shaken about as well.

He pushed Soul away the slightest bit, hands gentle on his shoulders, “be a bit more careful, bud? Those horns are sharp…”

He didn’t look too angry though, just amused at his giddiness. So forgiving and perfect! He leaned in to nuzzle his face, careful of His horns this time. His cheeks were warm and only slightly rough with stubble.

Harmonia laughed as he nuzzled against Him, trailing along the side of His head. Tucking his nose into His collarbone, he pressed the rest of his face to His neck. The way he shook and rumbled with laughs felt so nice…

His hands trailed along Soul’s back, lightly scratching just enough to feel through his shirt. Arching into it with a happy little hum, close enough to a purr to make him feel all fuzzy inside.

Then they stopped, leaving Soul to whine in confusion. Removing himself from His very comfortable embrace, head tilted back to look up at Harmonia, he let out another confused noise. Why no petting…? His Whole was smiling, crinkly in the corners like an old wrapper, saying cushy soft little things like, “don’t worry bud…” and “you can keep going,” so Soul probably hadn’t been Bad, so what could it be?

His attention was drawn to movement at the corner of his eye, Harmonia had reached for a bag on his desk. Plastic, probably from his shopping trip earlier… what could… oh!

Stoic and normally so composed, he could do nothing but perk up in excitement; was it a treat? Did He have a treat for the Soul? For being so very good and nice and responsible all the time?

His halo must have brightened at that, because He squinted a little, face scrunched up further, face painted a bit yellow by the light. He looked like what every painting Soul had tried to make strove to be: his Harmonia, bathed in the light of harmony.

He didn’t pay that any mind, more taken in with the possibility of a snack or toy. Shifting around and leaning over Harmonia's arms, using His chair for leverage he tried to stick his face into the bag.

“Wouh!” Harmonia snaked an arm around his waist and pulled him flush against His chest before he could investigate further, the chair wobbling precariously from all the sharp movements the two were doing, “settle down Atlas, I’ll show you in a moment.”

He squirmed and grumbled in His arms for a moment before doing as asked. Even without the treat this was still pretty nice…

With a flourish the treasure was finally presented to him. A matching calico tail to the ears he’d been given, equally adorable and colorful. 

This confidence waned as quickly as it came, the arm around his waist relaxing and the hand holding the tail stiffening a little. “Do you like it…?”

He answered with a happy trill, head butting His hand affectionately, careful not to catch any skin, or the tail, with his horns. Harmonia relaxed into His chair with that, eyes softening with relief as He let His fingers card through Soul’s hair.

“Want help putting it on?”

He nodded, squirming around on Harmonia’s lap until He was in a position where He actually could put it on Soul, half straddling Him. His Whole’s arms reached around him again, one just holding him still against His chest and the other actually clipping the tail to one of his belt loops.

With that, He was done, leaning back to admire His work. Soul tried to do the same, but there wasn’t really much room to do so in Harmonia’s lap. He turned a bit, motions awkward and giving him very little opportunity to actually see the tail or feel it swish around.

Gentle, like He didn’t know if this would net Him a positive reaction, he offered a suggestion. “Would it be easier to see that out of my lap?” He quickly continued, not frantic but not wholly relaxed, “you can always sit with me later… I can just get some work done, and you can enjoy that yourself, on the floor nearby…? I ah… don’t really have any cat-toys…”

The idea of being separated from Harmonia wasn’t the most appealing, but he really did want to move around more… if he really could just come back anytime he wanted, there probably wasn’t any harm in a little play-time; if he didn’t like it he could just come right back.

With that decided, he slipped off Harmonia’s lap and onto the floor, already feeling bereft of His warmth. An encouraging, “have fun bud!” Kept him from returning straight away though; he was going to have fun!

Doing a tight little circle to watch how his tail moved around with the motion, he couldn’t help but feel a little euphoric at the swaying faux fur. It was very very cute. But maybe he went around a few too many times: he ended up a bit dizzy after.

It was very much worth it though, because all the spinning reminded him of the little jingly bells on his cat ears.

He gave it a good shake, admiring how clearly the sound rang out. Batting at it a few times for good measure, knocking it a little loose. Half-on half-off it wasn't as comfortable.

Trying to fix it, he brought his paws back to his head and tried to bat at it again. Of course, this only knocked it off fully. Landing on the floor with a few more little tinkles. He could have probably just grabbed it and put it back on, but it did a little bounce and it just kept Jingling and he was pouncing before he had a conscious thought.

Batting around the improvised cat toy was way more enjoyable than it should have been -maybe because Soul hadn't really gotten to play with toys in kitten space before.

Harmonia had stopped watching him after a little bit, and he let himself fully get into the zone. One, probably too forceful, hit landed the headband on Whole's bed.

He made quick work of scrambling over to the bed and jumping up, enjoying the way his tail trailed behind him when he moved fast enough. The springs protested the motion, but he paid them no mind, seizing his prize.

Mantling over it, he just enjoyed the fact he'd "caught" it. Slowing down like that let him process the fact he was in Harmonia's bed, too. Soft and unmade, it was, overall, extremely normal. That didn't stop a little nervous feeling enveloping him, scared he was doing something wrong.

Looking over, He didn't seem to be paying much attention, though after Soul stayed quiet for a bit He looked over. Apparently not seeing anything amiss, He gave a little wave, before getting back to work.

So this was... allowed. He guessed it makes sense, Whole hadn't made any other fuss about him being on the furniture as a kitten, so this wasn't that strange. Slightly more secure in the fact that he wasn't breaking any rules, he flopped over and cradled the belled headband.

His bed smelled nice {or well... it didn't smell That nice, but it smelled like Him}, and he couldn't resist the urge to roll around a little. He stretched, enjoying the ambience. It was.... pleasant;: calm. He hadn't really let himself relax all day, too many distinct variables to keep track of.

Now though... he could just relax in His bed, content that things were okay. Mind and Heart were still out, but that felt less pressing. He knew they were getting along now, spending time together...

And centering, grounding, Harmonia worked at his computer several feet away. Safe.

It was all just... so very nice.

------

"We're home!"

Heart and Mind had come back, Heart's cheery voice signaling their return. Just as his fingers were starting to cramp too, a sure sign Whole had been working too long.

He stretched out his hands with a groan, taking off his head-set as well. As he got up, his eyes were drawn to his bed, where Soul was sound asleep. He'd assumed the third had left, quiet for so long, but it seems he just tuckered himself out instead.

After a moment's consideration, he decided waking Soul up was probably for the best; it was around dinner time now, and the Sun and Moon probably grabbed food while they were out.

Creeping up to the bed, quiet in a way he probably didn't need to be-- he was going to be waking him up either way-- he sat down next to him.

His Soul was curled around the calico-themed headband, a relaxed smile spanning his entire face, halves mismatched but both softened by concord.

He touched his own face at that, surprised. The darkened half was supposed to mirror his own; he didn't know the last time he'd smiled like that. As if brought on by the attention, he finally noticed how much his face ached from smiling.

He shook his head, knowing he couldn't be dwelling on this. Focusing on the present instead, he shook his shoulder, "Soul? Can you wake up, dude?"

He curled up further, getting further into that catlike ball. Cute, if he didn't worry he was actually annoying him. Maybe he shouldn't be trying to wake him up...

The choice didn't seem up to him though, because there was a harsh knocking against the door. Three sharp raps: Mind. Its voice coming through a second later only confirming that, "We got dinner; get out here soon."

He called back an affirmative, trying to keep his voice down, but the effort was characteristically worthless. Mind wasn't one to control his volume, and he could already see Soul shifting to wakefulness.

"Hey Soul..."

"Urghgh- Harmonia?"

That word, usually he didn't use it out loud. It seems that was who he was to Soul still, "Dinner time, Heart and Mind came back."

He just blinked up at Whole, visible eye half-lidded and sleepy, "You're so pretty..."

He tried to ignore the flutters he set off in his chest, nervous, giggly, "Hey- hey. Eyes on the prize, dinner time."

He hummed, folding out in a cat-like stretch; he seemed to be categorizing the feeling of the bed before, almost like a flip was switched, he froze.

Sitting up like he'd been dragged up, he grinned at Whole, "Ah- morning." A glance at the clock, "Evening, I mean. Sorry to keep you here so long... it's dinner now, right?"

Hoping he wasn't overstepping any bounds, he placed a hand on Soul's shoulder, "Anytime, Soul. I'm just glad you enjoyed the gift."

The thirds hands shot right back to his lap at that, clutching the headband, like he'd forgotten it was there at all; the motion making it jingle all over again. "Yeah... it was nice."

Soul was still a mess from his nap, relaxed in ways he usually didn't allow himself, and Whole couldn't help but admire the way this experience had let him see that. See the way even stripped bare of his mask, he still looked at him like he hung all the stars in the sky. He still didn't know what he'd done to earn that.

He didn't think there was anything he'd ever done that could measure up. Maybe that was okay though. Maybe it was time to accept that he didn't have to earn every scrap of happiness in his life.

Another call from the kitchen, breaking the two out of their reverie.

He didn't mind, trailing after Soul to meet the other two in the kitchen. Warm, soft, another domestic day. He wouldn't have it another way.

[44-moved-44]

( i feel bad for being so bad at healing )

This piece is very personal to me as I've been going through an extremely tough time and Heart is an extremely personal character to me, so making an art piece about my specific AU of him's rough healing journey really helped despite the VICIOUS "(bad thoughts)" as Heart would call it going through my head.

Because of this, just this once, I want to reiterate that I do not want any Jashshippers, pro-shippers/dark-shippers of any kind, conservatives, TERFs, or anyone who takes pleasure/pride in being a bad, mean person (bragging about doing bad things, loving arguing, boasting about trash-talking, etc.). This art means a lot to me and these types of people are the exact types of people that made me spiral while drawing this (mostly pro-shippers), so please, I request that you leave this alone if you are one of those people. We don't have to fight, just please respect my boundaries.

With all that being said, I would be head over heels if any of you were to gush/over-analyse this art immensely. There's a lot to it.

General context: Lost at Sea is about as close-to-canon as my CCCC AUs get, and it's not close to canon at all. It takes place within a condensed Mindscape-island far off the coast of Long Island (formerly Australia, before Soul broke even more) where Heart and Mind had grown up in-isolation. It is generally inaccessible but there is a bus that can go to and from the island, which is how Heart and Mind had interacted with Soul's family and later on leave the Mindscape island itself. For most of Heart and Mind's life, they had only known each other; initially very close, before Soul's self-loathing had spiralled so far that Heart and Mind broke their oath to attempt to make Soul be "whole" again {unknowingly to Soul, Whole already exists; Whole is Soul when he's asleep, and Soul is Whole when Soul's asleep} and begun to become viciously at war with one another, in an attempt to repair Soul with their own ideals.

Heart had been so tired of never having been listened to by Mind or Soul and being simply rejected for being weaker and technically the cause of Soul's dismay that he had led Mind to a gap in the island's earth to shoot him, having come to the last resort that if he were to ever be understood it would need to be through intense violence. This… backfired, with Heart missing and Mind compromising the hole in-order to imprison Heart at the bottom of it; trapped in a large pool of water with chains forever attempting to pull him under, and Heart had fought for many weeks before giving up; allowing himself to "(die)", believing he could never make it and it was for the greater good.

This failed. Heart did not die and was retrieved several months later. He had developed severe pneumonia from the amount of fluid in his lungs and his muscles were severely atrophied, as he had already had underdeveloped muscles in his unique biology but they were now torn and damaged, meaning Heart could never be physically the same again.

Heart was emotionally damaged almost beyond repair. Mind and Soul believed it had "[{fixed}]" him in a way, albeit Soul was much more empathetic than Mind was; Mind was in-denial over how much it hurt to see his sister gone. Heart responded poorly to the coming months of healing, haunted by unending hours spent convincing himself to not give up only to slowly wear down his will and accept that his life was not worth the effort. The pain, the suffocation, the exhaustion, the hunger, it had all worn on him so much, and following his escape he'd lost over a dozen kilos and found little motivation to do much more than sleep and aimlessly scroll on social media.

All of my stories have some sort of sappy happy ending at the end of them because I just can't help myself, they gotta be happy eventually, and Heart does become happy in this AU eventually (he becomes an art therapist in New York City and lives with a few online friends in a cosy apartment!), but the process to recovery is often times harsh.

(REBLOGS > LIKES I WILL ACTUALLY CRY IF THIS FADES TO OBSCURITY BC IT ONLY GOT LIKES)

[synthshenanigans]

Ik its been said multiple times before but Vol. 1 is so interesting to me & its suck sm with how often the actual real parts of it get mischaracterized or just ignored

[theres a LOT of text here i apologize i just rlly like the album]

Gonna rant more about the way ppl characterize HMS more even just specific events people end up misinterpreting. Just using the "tines stabbed through eyes" line as an example, that line is usually given or seen as being about Heart when its not him who says the even says the line, it's Soul. The sides he's talking about IS Heart & Mind, its even in the { } marks to show that.

But aside from that, even just HMS as characters/concepts is misrepresented as well. Op already went into it very well but a major point of the album is showing that the each of the sides aren't perfect & that neither of them are the victim nor the villain of it. [mention of depression & suicide cos yk its CCCC]

Heart isn't some overly emotional child that is willing to kill Mind at any chance he gets. He's the part of Whole that gets so overwhelmed with everything that he lashes out & is pushed to shooting himself [Heart shooting Mind is just Whole shooting at himself, as stated in Mucka Blucka]. You cant just say "Oh well Hearts evil cos he tried to kill Mind" when it also would've just gotten Heart/all of them killed as well.

Good Day & Just Apathy is Heart getting tired of everything to the point where, in Heart Acoustic, he gives up and lies in the hole. Not caring about what happens to himself/Whole anymore.

Mind also isn't the smart one that is just "dealing" with Heart & the things he says and he isn't the villain trying to push Heart down or get rid of him at any point. He's just trying to get out of the depression dip just as much as the other two. But seeing Heart almost get them killed, he views that part of Whole the "wrong" half that will only make things worse. But then shown by Be Born & StAAS, he cant run it all on his own which is what pushes him the the point of Mind Electric where he's also just overwhelmed with everything & panics on the fact he has no idea how to stop it.

[Which speaking of THA & TME, THA is Heart giving a logical outlook on his actions & why he does things his certain way. While TME is Mind emotionally lashing out not knowing how to fix everything. Clearly showing Heart can be logical & Mind can be emotional]

All that just goes into Light. Where the both of then ask the other for help. Mind asking Heart for help on how to understand the things in life & how to get through them ["Languish in the numbers, falling under, drowning in the code. The questions we have pondered, time we've squandered. Don't you feel we're owed? Please, help decipher this life that we lead, for each step that we take the answer takes three].

Heart asking Mind to help him become more stable, not to spiral down so fast and violently. ["Humility's a virtue; pride, a sin or so it has been said. But every time I've hurt you or at least tried to, you've laughed and smiled instead. Kicked, scorned and damned by the forces that be not ever once did you fall to your knees"]

Both need the other to actually get out of the depression pit they've all been in [Which is what Soul tries to tell them before too]. Neither of them are actually evil or good or anything, just struggling to not feel so depressed all the time & just need the other to do that.

Now going into Soul, he main part into it isn't just "i hate my sides i want them dead". its a mixture of Heart & Minds worst answers/ideas that they get to in THA/TME. He can't handle how worse everything keeps getting & gives up on trying to fix it at a certain point, but he has no idea how to actually stop it so he's spiraling just as much as they are. So, as shown in the end of TSE, he decides that its all too much to deal with & decides Tridential Regicide is the only way to "solve" it. The Bidding being him giving them both one last chance to prove death isnt the best way out. He isn't an unstable madman trying to get the other 2 killed, he's just given up on trying to go another day & ends up with the idea that dying is better for them all/Whole ["We will be combined whether that be dead or alive"]

Main thing im also getting to here is that the three of them are just different ways that Whole is dealing with depression. Giving up on doing anything in life so either having something happen like the "Juno Incident" or just lying down, giving up & being unable to do anything [Heart]. Trying to stop it by just trying to push though the days and end up shoving your emotions deep down & spiraling even more downwards, confused and frustrated on how to stop it [Mind]. Then ultimately giving up on it ever getting better & thinking "Tridential Regicide" is the only way to stop it.

You can't really label HMS as wrong or right when its just about Whole's inner struggles & trying to stay out of that depression spiral [the loop that gets mentioned]. It's just complicated since its all about the brain & it dealing with mental health. Which is the ENTIRE reason Whole's line in Light, one of the very few he has in all of Cacophony, is "Sitting in the sight of every eye I believe in you. Open the window, look out and see me. That sad, sulking mess; this human you're being".

Whole is even telling his parts that none of its really their fault, its just something thats very hard to deal with. I went more into it before but that line is just telling them that despite everything before they're still human & are just trying to get out of the depression spike they're in.

This is getting to be 12 paragraphs too many so ill stop here but, the album & HMS are not just some story about 3 guys fighting & hating each other. Its one guy trying to deal with depression & how complicated the brain can be when personified and struggling with everything. The way said characters are shown & made mean a lot to me & it's one of the few things ive seen that deal with it in an interesting way. so i just wish that was known & spread around more than it actually is

Mischaracterization in the CCCC fandom: a yapsesh (alternative title: Erm... What the Gore is Going On?)

Hi. Woaw. I'm actually making that post I talked about.

So. One thing I've noticed in the CCCC fandom is this weird fixation on gore, torture, violence, etc. Usually a level of graphic content that makes your average horror flick look... pretty tame!

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy horror! I even think a horror story based around psychological conflict similar to CCCC could work well!

But is it just me, or has this fandom COMPLETELY lost track of what the characters are like in the source material?

Like. Let's be real. Nowhere in the album does Soul do gruesome surgeries on Mind, nowhere does Mind go ripping people to shreds like Doomguy, et cetera. The closest thing we have to an implication of violence is what most of us call the "Juno incident"- as even "tines stabbed through eyes" is clearly a metaphor with the next line: "that the sides have condemned."

Im gonna talk ab the characters themselves under the cut

I feel the biggest victim of this mischaracterization is Soul. In the album he's... kind of a victim, really. He toughs out being dismissed and fought over and pushed aside and outright dehumanized for so, so long. Are we seriously just... going to characterize him based solely on his lowest point in TSE? Spring and a Storm and Mucka Blucka are also songs where he's present- along with his presence in Just Apathy that the fandom seems to outright deny to keep their characterization of him as some violent, abusive monster. (Which, again, is quite literally never alluded to! He's honestly kind of a victim, if anything!)

Ohhkay. Next topic. Mind. Oh boy I have thoughts on how people characterize Mind.

He's not emotionless. If you believe this, you've fallen for his stoic facade. All of his songs are just. So full of so much rage. Maybe even a little bit of grief and sadness and fear, masked by said rage. He isn't some emotionless robot- (Heart calls him an automaton as an insult, but that's another rant.) and honestly it feels like such a disservice to such an interesting character with so much unexplored depth to portray him as such.

Heart. Oh boy. Where do I start. Heart what did they do to you.

Heart is the emotional side, yes, but that isn't just some... smol innocent uwu baby who cries all the time. Emotions aren't small and cute and timid. They're INTENSE and PASSIONATE and EXHAUSTING. Strong emotions leave you so, so drained, good OR bad. This is so much more interesting than portraying him as some "uwu hai dere!!" type of character. Which is nowhere in the album.

Whole is hardly even a character. Soul worshipping and praying to whole is fanon.

This fandom's weird obsession with creating shock gore and one-upping each other in a violence competition has spiraled pretty far out of control, and it's honestly crazy. How do you go from an album about internal conflict to violence that would make even the cast of Resident Evil cringe? Brah.

Final notes uhhh. Soul is a victim who got pushed to his limit, not an evil heartless abuser. Mind is angry and unstable and hurt, not some emotionless robot. Heart is the entire emotional spectrum, not some innocent baby. Ok i . I think that's all. Have a good one

[nancythedrew]

i’m really actually trying to pay attention to all the layers and subplots in this game because I do think it’s really well done. But do we ever get any sort of answer or resolution regarding how the Rutherford and Daddle families acquired the jade carvings and how legitimate it was (the Rutherfords seem pretty sus; I think it was just like her grandfather was at an excavation site or something and snagged it)? Or even the CCCC or the smugglers? Or the one that’s in the packing container at Beech Hill?

At the end there’s -sorta- a come to Jesus moment where Nancy tells Taylor that the documents in the monolith belong in Mexico, so arguably this conveys to the player that Nancy doesn’t agree with everything the Americans are doing in this game. But there’s the portion in the wrap up letter that’s says the Pacal documents were falsified, it’s returned to Mexico, and Mexican officials are so happy that Americans finally did the bare fucking minimum and didn’t literally rob them that it’s starting a new era with Beech Hill and Mexico. And Joanna learned her lesson about doing “shady deals with people like Taylor” as if literally none of this is Joanna’s fault? That just this one deal was sour but the rest were probably fine?

The game is so fascinating to me because it really does feel kind of “woke” considering when it was released (2002 I believe) by introducing young girls to this idea of colonialism and the way that things legitimately being enjoyed in American(not only in this country, but that’s what’s focused on in this game) don’t necessarily help, and usually end up hurting, the country of origin. Alejandro is kind of a dick, or at least when I was younger I thought so, but with further plays and understanding the bigger picture he’s like the only sane person in it? But then HeR doesn’t fully tie it all together with some definitive statement about how messed up the entire chain of possession is with all those other jade pieces and acts almost as if the Pacal is an anomaly, but aren’t we glad we fixed it up? 

And then characters like Poppy Dada and Prudence Rutherford just sort of get written off as quirky and fun and who knows what next crazy escapade they’re going to be on? Instead of questioning how inherently voyeuristic the act of passing down artifacts from a culture that is not your own is, and also how you could maybe argue that Prudence at least has a high regard for it but HOLY FUCK Poppy Dada? Whether its her parents not teaching her the value of artifacts or her own immaturity, holy fuck I just cannot believe we let this girl get away with some dumb-ass schtick about art moving and breathing and Nancy kind of chastises her but accepts it and gives her a cutesy shout out in the end game letter. I remember as a kid thinking Poppy was so funny and quirky and I loved how she asked Nancy about being a detective but dear lord FUCK POPPY DADA

[lostcybertronian]

helllooo~can we please get some rare ship of host/bing with 44?

Sorry this took so long! Have some winged!Au

Tags: @authorsathenaeum @tiny-yan-an @darkstache-iplier @redraspberrycats @holyshitsnakesandspace @cookieface678 @bing-iplier @storm337 @sketchy-scribs-n-doods @pixelenchanter @itsjustkyss @demonnightmareangel @darkiplurrr

Prompt 44: “I’ll always be there for you. Don’t you know that?”

    He banked right. Then left. Then right again, solely for the purpose of feeling the cool, night air rushing over his face and feathers, blowing back his hair and clothes.

    Pumping his wings sent him higher, sent him hurtling through the sky ever faster, and from behind him he heard a laugh.

    “Wait up, dude!” It was Bing; a solid, warm presence just behind him. “I’m not as fast as you!”

    The Host obliged, settling into smooth glide so that Bing could catch up. His mechanical wings hummed like a hummingbird’s.

    “You really like flying, huh?” He remarked.

    The Host didn’t respond, but he did smile. His wings were fragile; easily damaged by sunlight or rain, so he wasn’t able to fly nearly as often as he wanted to. Only at night, and never alone.

    “I like flying too,” Bing continued, “but my wings don’t hold charge very well. Not as well as Google’s …”

    He trailed off all of a sudden, and somewhere, deep inside his head, the Host heard a tiny beeping noise.

    Then, he shouted, “get down!”

—

    They landed in the field just as the clouds opened up and the rain came down, instantly soaking anything and everything.

    In a blind panic the Host stripped off his trenchcoat, draping it over himself as hard bullets of rain pelted him all over.

    It didn’t help; his coat was drenched in seconds and it chafed, only adding to the pain that made him double over. It felt like hot acid was being poured over him. Felt like his very skin was dissolving.

    He had to get to shelter.

    He began to stumble forward, but then a hand grabbed his wrist and yanked him into a run, nearly dragging him right off his feet.

    “Cccc-ome-come o-OOn, Hos-s-s-st!” Bing’s voice was static-laced and distorted, but it still pierced through the torrential downpour. “Ther-there are tre-e-e-s up ahead!”

    They ran until the ground beneath their feet turned from twisted grass to twigs and dead undergrowth, until the sound of rain against bark and leaves nearly overwhelmed everything else.

    Bing pulled the Host close and for a moment he could hear nothing more than mechanical clicking and groaning. And then the rain wasn’t touching him anymore, and the pain ebbed to a dull throb.

    The Host’s hushed narrations told him that Bing had stretched his wings around his huddled form, shielding him from the rain. The drops hissed and sizzled and sparked when it came into contact with the sensitive metal, but despite this Bing was still protecting him.

    “It’s-s-s-s fine, bruh,” Bing replied through gritted teeth. “I-I-I can-can gee-EEt fixed.”

    “The Host still questions as to why Bing is risking his own safety.”

    “‘S no big deal.” Bing’s core stuttered and his body made a noise like that of a dying laptop. “I-I-I’ll always be th-er-er-ere for ya. Don’tcha kno-o-ow that?”

    Then, his eyes flickered out and he slumped over the Host.

—

    Hours later- hours past the time the Host and Bing were expected back- the Host staggered in, dripping wet and hauling an unconscious Bing along with him and taking everybody by surprise when he himself collapsed to the lobby floor.

[itsybitsylemonsqueezy]

Gotham 4x05: A Liveblog

Phew... long, long day, super delayed liveblog, but here it is, in all its glory. And frankly, after last time, I am not hoping for much : |

TL;DR - So there was a footrub and- HEY LET’S TALK ABOUT SOLOMON GRUNDY!

You know I’m disappointed in Gotham when I have not been chomping at the bit to see the next episode. If they get ANYTHING right today, I'll be pleased

Buuuutch :c my baby, my angel :cccc

...there’s literally location called “Slaughter Swamp” there’s literally... *throws book on floor* *walks out*

And yeah, I'm sure dumping a mostly dead body in... this swamp is Very Safe and will not lead to Anything Weird Ever. After all, it’s not like the waters in this town have literally resurrected people...

HARVEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. HARVEYYYYY *sobs* Oh god and you look so good and your boyfriend has been AN ALL TIME LOW recently and... HARVEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY *cries into 50 pillows*

This season was supposed to be about you two getting married. And instead what do I get? The divorce. I fucking hate how this show writes Jim. HATE.

Is lil Bruce contemplating murder??? Daaaamn boy. Is this show finally actually going to become ABOUT Batman??? Am I actually going to start giving a fuck about Bruce? Jesus, how the turn tables.

Side note: David was younger here, they shot this episode earlier, not later

MMMM, all them good funeral feels for Bruce, MMMMMM. This is fine. I’m sure he’s... fine.

Jim what the fuck, fuck off. None of your shit now.

Oh my GOD Jim, you’re going to lecture ALFRED about PARENTING??? JIM. JIM. REMEMBER WHAT YOUR USELESS ASS WAS DOING FOR LITERALLY ALL OF LAST SEASON? IT WASN’T FUCKING HELPING BRUCE. FUCK YOU.

Why this show is choosing to make me hate Jim is beyond me. Holy fuck.

Bruce, I know you’re not Batman yet but... Batman is No Killing for a reason buddy. *pets* You gotta learn that lesson.

Babs hair this season continues to be... I don’t even know what her style is this season

HOLY FUCK WHY IS RA’S IN A HANNIBAL CAGE. HOLY FUCK OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD.

How Hannibal is this show going to get??? HOly SHIT.

Don’t tell me they gave Babs the fucking “soft paper, no clips, no staples, do not accept anything he hands you” rules (that BY THE BY we used on Frank too and that will NEVER stop being hysterical, although most of you are probably not in that fandom) too??/ HOLY FUCK WHAT THE SHIT

RA’S IS NOT A SERIAL KILLER, HOW THE FUCK DO YOU JUSTIFY THIS... WHAT THE FUCK OH MY GOD

I want to be paid a dollar every time Gotham borrows from Hannibal because... WOW. wow.

Jesus Fucking Christ What Even Just Happened

Oh thank GOD we’re back in Slaughter Swamp, I’m so sorry for what I said about you earlier, NEVER MIND, you are MUCH better than that, VERY welcoming, bless you Slaughter Swamp

...is that Oswald’s murder trailer? Welp, for the purposes of amusing myself, I’m just going to say that it is. Just come full circle on it. That trailer stays in the family.

Apparently none of you have seen Frankenstein or you would know not to wave fire at the recently returned from the dead : ||||

That... I guess that’s as good a way to get a name as any

*groaning about Sofia’s existence*

Is it an f or a ph? does anyone know? Meh

Mmmm... Oswald’s twitchy, he makes bad decisions when he’s twitchy. Of course, why Oswald should be twitchy now is a mystery. I can only hope the decision to abandon Ed isn’t sitting well with him. BUT that might make Too Much Sense because Fuck This Show

Hi Ed. I see your pill addiction is... still a thing. I’m not sure how i feel about the fact that you turn to drugs when you can’t handle shit.

...okay, I kinda love that Ed is now bad at everything in a new and entirely understandable way, as opposed to when he was bad at everything but we were SUPPOSED to think he was oh so smart (personally I think there are WAY better writing angles in that in regards to hubris and you know... actual fucking development but, WHATEVER writers, you do you). I have no idea where this will eventually lead, probably nowhere, because this show sucks and is determined not to make any progress of any kind but rather run us round and round in the same circles for all eternity, but this gets props for being entertaining if nothing else

“Butch, I have never had an issue with you” ...Ed. Edddddd. I’m. I’m just going to sit here silently.

Butch, I love you to death, you are everything, please drag Ed, both figuratively and literally, back to your cave and fix him. I love you so so much, please take care of him and then the two of you can be bros for life

Niiiiice, Alfred in his casual Night on the Town clothes, mmhmmmmmm

JIM SHUT YOUR FUCKING USELESS WHORE MOUTH YOU SELF-ABSORBED PRICK, YOU ARE NOTHING BUT DEAD WEIGHT TO EVERYONE HERE, DON’T YOU DARE PRESUME TO TELL ALFRED HOW TO PARENT YOU UNWANTED CODPIECE

NANANANANANANANA BATHOOK!

...you’re kidding me, I’m supposed to believe Bruce has memorized the changing of the guard at Blackgate? *siiiiiigh*

...yes, I also keep my ceremonial murder weapons stuffed down my shirt. It’s almost like you need a utility belt or something

I hope to god Sean flubbed that line and everyone just went with it

“Under crackers” is now the only way I am going to refer to my under garments and/or genitals

...OKAY SO GRUNDYGMA IS THE NEW NYGMOBBLEPOT WE ALL KNOW THAT RIGHT?

Holy shit, I thought y’all were just being crack but THIS IS SUDDENLY THE BEST THING ABOUT THIS SHOW I AM IN LOVE THIS IS PERFECT PLEASE GOD MAY THEY NOT RUIN IT IMMEDIATELY

Holy shit, ONE good scene, ONE good fucking scene in A MILLION years, oh... sweet jesus THANK YOU, I’ve waited SO LONG for literally ANYTHING to be good again and HERE IT IS

Uhhh... is Sofia gonna murder Oswald over lunch? Because if so: No.

Oh boy, back to overplot

...okay, I have no idea what to make of Ra’s al Ghul, if he’s lying or not, not a clue

Ed... Ed you REALLY need friends right now, would you please just TRY to human being for a second. Jesus. You’re stupid and you’re still SO BAD at EVERYTHING.

Awww, see, there you go! There you go sweetie, you can be friends!You can do it, good job not letting your only friend burn to death, that’s a good step forward!

Uhhhhhh oh, Oswald’s having mom feels. Oh boy.

Alfred, confirmed 300% more useful than Jim ever was

Poor Oswald... damn, without an Ed as a clutch for balance, Oswald’s spinning his wheels. This is 100% what I expected when the season started, but I”m a little upset at the pacing. This should have been obvious and building from day 1 and AGAIN, LAST episode should have had a VERY different emotional tenor. His limp is also atrocious right now, he’s very stressed and jumpy and there are obvious reasons why, but they haven’t PLAYED any of them, which is annoying.

...

...

. . .

The List Of Things I Could Say Right Now. I’m Just.

.

.

.

do you know who fucking else has seen Oswald’s fe-EDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

ALL OF THE ANGRY GIFS IN THE WORLD CANNOT EXPRESS MY RAGE

So uh... are you a mummified corpse in all reflective surfaces and you’ve just been avoiding mirrors, or does this trick only work in puddles?

...really milking that death there Alexander. Which is fair, this is a comic book show after all.

GREAT acting on David’s part tho, mad props

Yes, yes, cute jaw drop, very hammy, good job

Jim, I’m pretty sure this is the first time you two have spoken in like... 2 seasons. Just saying. you don’t know each other that well... or at all really.

Also, I‘m not positive killing someone who was immortal and who wanted to die is really murder either. Especially considering he was The Worst. Like... you shouldn’t feel bad, at all, that he’s dead, you’ve actively saved lives by killing him. Even if this is murder, I”m just saying... probably the best murder you could have done. Good job Bruce? Meh, I really don’t have any investment in this storyline, I'll be real.

Ed, why must you lie to your own and only friend? Why Ed? *siiiigh* Baby steps of friendship I guess, baby steps

...annnnnnnnnnnd there it is.

Knew it was too good to be true, couldn’t have ANYTHING nice this season could we. No, no of course not. Ooof course not.

May the all-consuming void swallow me up whole so I don’t have to deal with This.

[nebris]

Climate Change Isn’t Your Fault. It’s Capitalism’s.

You’re Not the Problem. The System Is. The Global Economy’s Broken, and Self-Blame Isn’t Going to Fix It.

Climate change — the sheer scale of the catastrophe we collectively face — is finally breaking through to mass consciousness. That’s a good thing. Yet accompanying it is a pernicious myth. Climate change is your fault — therefore, solving climate change is a matter of your individual actions.

This myth goes something like this. “I’m going to eat less meat! I’m going to travel less on airplanes!! And anyone who does those things is bad! They must not care about the planet!” It’s a fairy tale, my friends. Like so many myths, its purpose is to shield us from a truth we don’t want to face — or aren’t capable of facing yet.

Now, this is an old American fantasy — the fantasy of individual action. The idea that everything can be fixed by our individual actions — the more heroic, the better. But collective action?Cooperation? Those can never be allowed to exist. It’s the same myth, really, that caused America to end up without a working healthcare, education, or retirement system. Individual action, not collective action — everything’s your fault, and therefore, your responsibility, too. The system can never be at fault. There shouldn’t be a system for anything in the first place, except for anything but profit. Bang! Social collapse.

Here’s the truth.

Climate change isn’t your fault. It’s capitalism’s fault. 70% of carbon emissions come from 100 companies. Let me translate that.

The world’s giant corporations are effectively turning the skies, oceans, forests, and mountains into cold, hard cash. So much money so fast they literally don’t know what do with it, because there’s nothing left to do with it. So much inequality has resulted that it’s destabilizing societies like America and Britain by creating classes of new poor. As result, societies don’t have the resources left to fight problems like…climate change. Capitalism is sucking in nature, turning it into insane, needless, pointless profit — and destroying democracy, the planet, and life as we know it on it along the way.

That also means that there’s nothing whatsoever you can do to stop climate change, individually. You can affect it just the tiniest bit, “at the margin”, as economists sometimes say — certainly not enough to make any real different to it whatsoever. Maybe you can save a beehive in your own town. Good. I applaud you. But eating less meat and taking fewer plane flights? Completely ineffectual. Less than ineffectual, in fact. Feel-good egotism, frankly. Can you stop a mega corporation from wrecking a forest? From annihilating an endangered species? From drying up a great river? I didn’t think so.

That’s precisely because climate change isn’t a problem, a failure, a challenge of individual action. You or I didn’t cause it. We have very little to with it at all, in fact. Climate change is the ultimate problem of collective action. It is a problem of corporations, institutions, economies, bottom lines, objectives, purposes — systems, what they’re organized for, how, and why. The only system we have for collective action — globally, and in the world’s top emitters, like America and China — is capitalism. I don’t mean your brewer or baker. I mean GDP, mega corporations, “shareholder value”, “current accounts”, “free trade” deals. But capitalism is what created this mess — a system that doesn’t count nature, life, animals, trees as things, beings, of inherent, inalienable worth, to begin with.

Let me explain what I mean by all that.

It should be called “capitalism caused climate change”, CCCC, not “anthropogenic climate change”: 70% of carbon emissions come from just 100 companies. In other words, profit-maximizing corporations owned by “shareholders” — capitalist institutions — are what are causing climate change. You aren’t, and I’m not, and some poor family in Burundi isn’t. We’re not directing and controlling those institutions. Are you beginning to see what I mean by “climate change isn’t your fault, it’s capitalism’s?” Even if you eat a steak every day, and fly across the world every week, so what? You aren’t emitting the carbon that’s melting down the Arctic. You aren’t killing off life on the planet systemically, ruthlessly, exploitatively. You aren’t the cause of all this, and reducing your impact, while noble, makes no difference whatsoever.

Capitalism’s megacorporations are what’s causing climate change — or at least the system that shapes their beahviours is. Yes, really. Binaries, it’s often said, don’t help us. But what about when they’re true?

(At this point, many Americans will interject — “but those companies are only trying to serve us! So it’s still our fault — and if we change, we can change them!” Is that true? Of course not. People don’t have any power over corporations — if you did, the world would be a very different place. Corporations have power over people because they are effectively gigantic monopolies, like Amazon, Walmart, Facebook, and Google. If you can’t even stop Facebook from recommending hateful videos…from hacking democracy…good luck getting the entire system to care about the insects, bees, oceans, or skies. Why would it? When next quarter’s profits depend on not caring?

Reflecting that huge power imbalance between people and corporations, corporate profits have never been higher than they are today — at the exact same time that life on the planet is dying, and so is the planet itself. That’s not a coincidence — it’s a causal relationship. It’s that system of profit-maximization, of exploitation, of abusing everything in the name of more, more, more money, that’s really killing the planet and life on it. Yes, really. (And let me say there are even plenty of noble and wise people in them trying to stop it. But they are up against a system they can’t change.)

How do corporations maximize profits? In three ways. First, by paying no taxes. Second, by never really paying higher wages. Third, by charging the highest price they possibly can, while paying the lowest, which includes getting away with whatever they can, whatever form of abuse and destruction is permissible. And all that is really what destroys the planet — not just you demanding nasty, bad stuff from them. (There’s plenty of nasty, bad stuff they don’t give you, because the price is just too high, isn’t there? Porn, drugs, etcetera) The reason that the world’s 100 big corporations are happily destroying the planet and life on it because there’s no price whatsoever to it yet.

Let me make that clear with an example. Amazon pays no taxes. None. So what money is there to replenish the skies, oceans, and forests with? There isn’t. When Walmart doesn’t even pay people enough to live on — what chance do they have to spend money, time, and energy on things that are green and clean, not dirty and toxic, or to contribute (and demand) to a society that’s green and clean? And, of course, when entire industries don’t have to pay for the costs of carbon and extinct species…what reason is there not to deplete, abuse, exploit, plunder?

The gigantic corporations that are responsible for more than 70% of the world’s carbon emissions are also the world’s most profitable. They could internalize the costs of the damage they do, easily — but they don’t have to, because under capitalism’s logic, they shouldn’t: profit is good, remember. You internalizing those costs isn’t the solution to this problem. It won’t fix anything whatsoever — because this isn’t a problem that you created. You can bear those costs, sure — but if the corporations are the ones polluting and exploiting, and you’re the one paying the costs — why would anything change? All that will change is that you live a poorer life. You eat less meat and never travel — and there are the robber barons, laughing at you, while the shoot the last lions and rhinos in the head with high-powered rifles. You internalizing the costs of capitalism destroying the planet and life on it is eminently not the answer to capitalism destroying the planet and life on it — it’s just another, bigger, problem.

The answer really begins with thinking about all this in completely the opposite way of the bizarre American fantasy of individual action, the old hero myth. Thinking about climate change in terms of collective action — of cooperation, of purpose, of mattering.

What are the world’s corporations and capitalists doing with all that money — the most money ever, in human history? Absolutely nothing. Nothing at all, really. Because there’s nothing left to do with it. They’ve got so much money there’s literally nowhere left to put it. Yes, really. They’re buying back shares, mostly — and showering huge, obscene fortunes on CEOs and their minions, who turn right around, and hide it offshore, or stuff it in bank accounts, which is why interest rates are perpetually zero. Do you see what’s happening here?

Let me make the steps of this fatal dance crystal clear. One: gigantic corporations pollute the world’s skies, oceans, and forests. Two: they profit so immensely that they’re drowning in so much money they literally can’t spend it fast enough. Three: there’s nothing — not enough money, time, creativity, energy — left to save the planet or life on it with. Four: instead of connecting the dots, we blame ourselves. It’s our fault — we’re sinful, terrible people!

Maybe we are sinful, terrible people. Lord knows I am. But basic reasoning also tells me that this is a problem of collective action — not individual action. Let me explain.

What would happen if we (wait for it) made those corporations plant a tree every time they chopped one down? Protect a whole species everytime they threatened a forest? Scrub the skies clean, instead of fill them with ash? Well, pretty soon, things would right themselves a little. Now, we don’t do that — because we don’t have a system to do any of that. Note you can’t do any of that by yourself, and it’s a fantasy to imagine that individually, magically, people will — or should have to. It’s not their job, fault, task, or work — nor do they have the money or time to, nor will they ever have the money or time in a capitalist system when most people can barely make ends meet.

That’s a minor lie. We do have one system of collective action that works this century — just one. And it’s not capitalism. The only system of political economy in the world that’s proven itself capable of reducing carbon emissions — and that’s social democracy. Europe is the only region of the world that’s reduced carbon emissions…ever. Everywhere that’s capitalist — America, China, etc — emissions just keep skyrocketing. That’s because social democracy isn’t (just) capitalism. In it, the fundamental goal of society isn’t corporations profiting, while everything else goes (literally) to dust and ashes.

Now think about that on a global level. We don’t have — in the 21st century — a single measure of the world’s forests, oceans, skies, and how much wealth they really represent. So if we don’t measure the wealth they create, are…then is it any surprise capitalism basically plunders them for free? How can we create a system of accounts that charges nations for them, and credits them, too? Are you seeing what I mean a little bit by “problem of collective action”? Building such systems — measures of natural wealth, estimates of how much its been damaged, taxes institutions must pay in restitutions, investments societies should make — is the challenge of this century. Social democracies are beginning to do it. Capitalist societies, societies that stay capitalist, like America and China? They probably never will — because their sole goal is profit, not real wealth.

Let me illustrate.

What would happen if corporations had to pay into a global natural wealth fund? Not a “hedge fund”, but something much more like the World Bank. Depending on how much harm and damage they did. And that fund, in turn, was responsible for nurturing and nourishing the skies, oceans, and trees. Maybe then we’d have a fighting chance. But that system isn’t capitalism — in capitalism, corporations pay no taxes, because, well, that’s the logic of capitalism: profit is the best thing for everyone. Yet without paying taxes, without paying people decent wages, without investing in society, such systems can never be built.

Then there’s the techno-utopian fantasy that goes along with the individualist fantasy. “If we all change our sinful ways — and technology gives us magic meat — we can save the planet!!” What happens if we all start craving eating less meat? Lab grown meat? Sure, corporations will probably give it to us. But that doesn’t solve the problems of climate change or mass extinction. It only hardens them. Capitalism will happily pollute the skies and kill off the animals even faster, sell them dearer, because now you’re happily eating lab grown meat…just in a burning, desolate, arid world. Real meat — only for the super rich! There’s even less reason to care about the planet or the animals if we have capitalist substitutes for its “products.”

This logic — techno-utopianism — is the logic of regress. We can stop eating meat. We can stop using deodorant, shaving, reading books. We can rewind all the way back to the Stone Age. But that’s not really a solution to the problem of climate change. It’s just folly — adding regress to catastrophe. The point isn’t to turn ourselves into peasants and serfs hunting by firelight in the lord’s forests all over again. It’s to fix the climate, and keep some modicum of human progress going too. That’s a tough problem, sure. That’s why solving it is a lot harder than lab-grown meat for the serfs. Let them eat cake doesn’t stop the world burning — it never has.

If you want to be more ecologically minded, good for you. But don’t be under the bizarre American illusion that your individual action is a substitute for collective action, for systemic change. If it makes feel good, that’s necessary, vital, important. Maybe you’ll model the world you want to build. But collective action is a step far beyond that. This world doesn’t need heroes. It just needs working systems.

The world’s megacorporations are effectively turning the skies, oceans, forests, and mountains into cold, hard cash. So much cash so fast they literally don’t know what do with it. You eating less meat isn’t going to change that. What will change it is genuinely transforming the world institutionally. Making them pay their taxes. Punishing them when they are greedy and destructive. And creating very real systems of wealth whereby investing in nourishing and caring for the planet is an obligation, a right, a value, work to be done. Valuing every bee, insect, and tree, as a being with inalienable and inherent worth, that’s reflected in our economic statistics and indicators and bottom lines and organizations.

Do you see the difference? You eating less meat is walking away from a broken system. But it isn’t fixing one. Yet broken systems destroy, harm, and abuse. The problem this century is that our global system of political economy — capitalism — is destroying the planet, and all the life on it. Can you imagine a bigger problem than that?

In an age of broken systems, the problem isn’t you or me, my friends — unless, ironically enough, we think the problem is you or me.

Umair May 2019

https://eand.co/climate-change-isnt-your-fault-it-s-capitalism-s-c7cf340007c4