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rvexillology · 5 years ago

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Decided to make a flag for every galaxies of Super Mario Galaxy

from /r/vexillology Top comment: Explanations : All the flags have a 2:3 ratio (except one) for no particular reason. The galaxies are sorted by how soon they appear in the game. The 5 (or 4) galaxies of the "room" (Terrace, Kitchen,...) and the external bonus galaxy near it. And at the end, the three green star challenges, the last boss galaxy and the final bonus galaxy. Sorry for the text mistakes, non native English. Meanings : Good Egg Galaxy : The green represents the grass present everywhere in the galaxy. The turquoise cylinder represents the glass cylinder, a distinctive planet of the galaxy. The white circle is for the egg, and the yellow star is shaped on the yellow star planet at the end of star 2. Honyhive Galaxy : The yellow and brown stripes are for the bees fur. The hexagonal shield and its design are based on bees wings and alveolus. It is in a shield shape because the bees are showed as a warrior race, wearing weapons and defending their queen. Loopdeeloop Galaxy : The circles are based on the gates we cross during the race. And the big blue one is for the water path of the race. Flipswitch Galaxy : The pattern is based on the level itself, made of blue and yellow panels. The green one is for the end of the level, where all panels become green. Bowser Jr's Robot Reactor : Every Boss fight galaxy flags are made like colony flags, because they are owned by Bowser. The logo next to it is the shape of the giant robot boss. Sweet Sweet Galaxy : The stripes represents the different colors of cake toppings we see in the level. Space Junk Galaxy : The dark blue with blue lines sides of the flag are based of the average platform in this level. The blue star shaped ball is based on the one introduced in this level and very present in it. Battlerock Galaxy : The black represents space and the dark colors of technological elements. The red represents the rock environment and the color of some structures in the level. These two colors combined with the diagonal with beam gives a feeling of combativeness and power, the same aura as in the level (One of my proudest) Rolling Green Galaxy : The lime is for the grass. The two gray lines are for the ball rail present across the level. And the ball with its yellow star represents the ball, main element of the level. Hurry-Scurry Galaxy : The turquoise is for the sky. The green octogon is for the main planet of the level. And the star is placed in the middle of the octogon, to show how it is placed in the level. Bowser's Star Reactor : The logo has two arrows showing the gravity being modified and showed on the walls of the level by arrows. The orange circles are for the fire rays, very present in the level. Sling Pod Galaxy : The black is for the space. The blue and yellow circle are for the metal plates surrounding the star which have the same colors. The gray shaped is the pod, main element of gameplay of the level. Beach Bowl Galaxy : The white is for the sand. The blue is for the water. The turquoise is for the sky. The lines are placed like a landscape, the horizon being the border of the bowl. Ghostly Galaxy : The purple is for the main color of the manor. The gray is for the exterior of the manor. The shape of the gray stripe represents the manor itself. The boo logo is for the main "living" beings of the level. Bouy Base Galaxy : The blue is for the sky/space. The red and white circles is for the top planet of the level. The black is for the tower. Its shape is like if it was seen from the bottom, elevating and pointing to the sky. Bubble Breeze Galaxy : The purple is for the poisonous fluid present everywhere in the level. The logo is a bubble and the spikes are for the one present in the level, threatening the bubble. Bowser Jr's Airship Armada : The anchor is a simple space like redesign of a marine anchor Drip Drop Galaxy : The turquoise is for the water surrounding the planet. The grayish brown is for the planet itself and its boats. The white shape represents the planet. Gusty Garden Galaxy : The two shades of green if for the different types of vegetation. The logo is a modification of a Question mark, shape of an iconic planet of the galaxy. Freezeflame Galaxy : The red and white are for the lava and ice environment. The black is for the rocks, common element of both environment. The shape of the flag is for the big ice mountain. Dusty Dune Galaxy : The yellow is for the sand present everywhere in the galaxy. The green star has different meaning. It is a star because this is the galaxy with the biggest amount of stars in the game (with Battlerock Galaxy). It is green because of the cactuses. It is a green star beacause this level contains one of the few green stars in the game. Honeyclimb Galaxy : The turquoise is for the sky. The yellow logo is made of the same hexagons as from the Honeyhive Galaxy, to show the presence of the bees. It also symbolizes the walls filled with alveolus in the level. Bowser's Dark Matter Plant : The logo is four arrows each pointing in different directions. This level includes the same gravity changers with the walls showing it. This level however uses more this gameplay and in every direction. Bigmouth Galaxy : The blue is for the space surrounding the fish, and for the water. This white diagonal represents the fish, and the missing corner makes the shape of the mouth. In the mouth is the golden star, the same location as is the game. Toy Time Galaxy : The steps are for the different layer of the cake, important element in the level. It also makes little squares, green, red and yellow, like the ones on the Mario pixel art, other important element of the level. Gold Leaf Galaxy : The hexagons are for the presence of the Bees. The gold leaf is here for obvious reasons. The white is for the snowy floor seen at some places on the main planet. Sea Slide Galaxy : The blue circle and the lime circles are like the shape of the surrounding planet. The center circle is for the central planet of the galaxy. The white hexagon is for the bees . Bonefin Galaxy : The Blue is for the water. The black is for the shell of the planet. The white is for the bones of the Skeleton Shark boss. Bowser Jr's Lava Reactor : The hexagons are not for the bees, but for the platforms surrounding the lava boss. And the star is placed in the middle, where the boss who drops it normally is. Sand Spiral Galaxy : The white and the Yellow are for the Boo and Bee powerups offered as a choice at the begging of the level. The dark yellow is for the sand. The logo is made of a white circle, which represents the rings around the little moon. The moon also represented in the center of the logo. Gateway Galaxy : There is two stars. One surrounded by yellow, the other by red. It is because the level has no real identity, but is used for two stars : The first star of the game, a yellow one. And the only red star of the game. Boo's Boneyard Galaxy : This flag is in a triangular shape, it symbolizes the usual flags of races. It is gray because of the main color of the level. There is a boo logo because the opponent is a boo. Deep Dark Galaxy : The triangular arc represents the cave. The blue is for the water present in the level. The white is for the ghosts and the ghostly aura. Dreadnought Galaxy : The design gives an imperial and combative aura, the stars are here to reinforce this meaning. The yellow bars are for the lasers crossing everywhere is the level. The dark blue is for the average color of the level. Melt Molten Galaxy : The shape is for the volcano in the level. The colors are warm colors, showing the hot atmosphere of the galaxy. Matter Splatter Galaxy : The lime is for the main color of the level. The gray is for the stone platforms in the level. The turquoise is for the little water rays which summons the platform in the galaxy. Snow Cap Galaxy : The turquoise is for the space. The is for the snow and the shape is for the shape of the planet. The green is for the grass and is shaped as a rabbit. Rolling Gizmo Galaxy : These three flags are made of the three green stars required to unlock, and the element of gameplay in the level. The stars are arranged in the same shape as the little planet on which you access these levels. This one has the star ball. Bubble Blast Galaxy : This one has the spiked bubble. Loopdeeswoop Galaxy : This one has the circles of the water race. Bowser's Galaxy Reactor : It is based on the flag present in the level itself, with the same Bowser face as on the previous flags. https://twitter.com/MarioBrothBlog/status/941818968737640448?s=19 Grand Finale Galaxy : It is made of the Mushroom Kingdom Flag inspired of the one in the game. It is divided with a purple side, representing the purple coins to collect in the level.

#Decided #make #flag #every #galaxies #Super #Mario #Galaxy #flags #vexillology

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bioticgoddess · 4 years ago

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Destiny One-Shot: Schrodinger’s Warlock

I read the lore about Praedyth and the first VOG Fire Team. I had a brain wave. I’m not sorry.

Generic Warning: Didn’t proof read. No beta reader. I’m sorry if there’s typos and stuff. I wrote this mostly in one go late at night.

Shroedinger’s Warlock

He knew time in the Vault didn’t follow the rules as time in hundreds of timelines simulated by the Vex. Here, it all happened at once, in simultaneous play. Out there, while that remained true, they were discrete and different and he had kept track of them for Traveler only knew how long. Why or how the Vex had kept him alive without his Ghost and kept him from a similar fate to Kabr...well he didn’t want to try and contemplate that. Not now. Not when his salvation and escape from this hell was so close.

Something about this Fireteam, these six guardians who stole into the Vault and had fought their way to one of his thousand skeletons, was different. They’d taken refuge in the small room while the Gorgon Harpies patrolled the maze. Quietly studying the records and maps of the countless other excursions who’d come to slay Atheon. They passed cantees between them, water and food carefully rationed to ensure they could make it through.

He could have killed for a bit of one of those terrible hardtacks but dared not approach.

Parallelling his thoughts, one of the Warlocks - an Awoken Woman - sighed, “I’d kill for caffeine.”

The shorter of the two Titans elbowed her, “When we get out of here, more than coffee is on me.”

“We made it this far,” yawned a hunter, he stretched until his spine popped.

The others murmured in agreement - another warlock, titan, and hunter respectively. He could just hear the hum of their Ghosts as they unfolded from Transmat to heal their wounds. He missed his ghost, her questions about his research and motherly nagging about his health and safety. One of the little Traveler born drones announced, “The temporal markers are all still synced up. Everything is in the green.”

“Good,” the taller Titan nodded. “Five minutes everyone, then we move out.”

Another round of agreeing murmurs. The female Hunter put her hand over what had been his in another timeline. She whispered, pulling her helmet on, “Eyes up Praedyth.”

They knew! He didn’t know what but he knew! None of the other Fireteams over the uncountable years here had ever said his name over any of his bones. Not one! He was an unacknowledged ghost wandering this purgatory.

Something had changed, it was different and the Vex hadn’t been able to predict it! He could have laughed, sang even if he hadn’t been so terrified that doing more than watch would result in this Fireteam’s deaths. That it wouldn’t result in someone else being trapped here with him - a fate he wished on no one. Perhaps more so than he wished none of them to face Kabr’s fate. At least Pahanin had gotten out. He was free.

So long down here, he knew the route. Stay close to the right hand wall. Spiral down. Don't look at the Gorgons and keep as much distance as possible from them. Careful to go down into the dark, the deep, across the cavern and to the central chamber where the Gatekeeper and then Atheon lay in wait. Stay outside the door til after the Six Guardians enter. Then up the right hand side of the wall along what looked like little more than pock marks in the way. Grips he’d carved as he’d tried desperately to sneak past the vex and out to freedom.

Up along the door, just shy of where the ceiling dropped down, there was a crack in the stone that he’d be able to squeeze through, to hide where he’d be out of sight. Time’s Conflux wouldn’t send him to what he’d heard others call Mars or Venus; though which Mars and Venus was up for intense debate.

For a moment, as grenades flew and ammo bricks were passed between teammates, he could see the others, his old team. The shorter Titan leapt up on what was the Martian control Plate and threw his barricade up. A rift went down a few seconds later and the warlock, back to back with him, dropped an arc grenade into the sea of grounded Harpies. The thunder cracked and each of the little pseudo-robots shattered and broke across the stone.

Then he saw it. The moment when a half dozen Guardians launched their most powerful attacks - Lightborne and weapon based - at Atheon. The giant Minotaur roared. It’s body groaned and crashed to his knees. The frame shuddered and the chamber holding its radiolarian fluid pooled around the metal. It crackled with the ghost of electricity. He hadn seen the giant beaten before but never like this.

The Vex had not predicted these Guardians.

Carefully, the six collected what weapons and gear they could find in the room as the gateway out of the Vault opened and the warm air of Venus filled the chamber. The grin on the shorter Titan’s face carried to his voice, “And, we are synced!”

“Wolf, we have a full count,” the second warlock, also a woman, was surprised. It was that giddy surprise that he recognized, like she hadn’t expected it to happen.

“Full count. Seven by seven!”

The warlock whooped. Both hunters began searching the cavernous room more intently, careful to avoid the remaining pools of radiolarian fluid.

Seven? He’d only seen these six enter the Vault. Only seen their six Ghosts flit in and out of sight and safety. It couldn’t be Pahanin, no matter how badly he wanted to see his old friend again. He’d seen him fall to Dredgen Yor just like he’d seen Toland and Eris and all the others fall on the Moon. The Vex used their deaths as yet another way to torment him. Another way to study and learn from his reactions so they could better combat the Guardians.

“He’s up here,” the tiny voice of a Ghost chirped.

Swallowing, Praedyth pointed to himself.

“Yes you, we came here to bring you home,” The little drone’s voice was filled with smiles. He bobbed and his shell spun with excitement. “Oh! You made it too! Excellent!”

Praedyth looked to the left, following the Ghost’s shifting gaze.

Just shy of where his hand would be if he expected his Ghost to appear. He could feel the familiar buzz of transmat. Reaching out, hand tingling, and he felt the weight of a Ghost on his shoulders. It was a snap, the pop where she materialized in his full. A steel and amber painted shell and her bright blue iris, blinking as only a Ghost could.

“I found you,” she cried, elated and overwhelmed and it sounded like she’d cry if she could.

Hand wrapping around her shell gently, he pulled his Ghost to his chest. Not now. They could cry together later. They’d been lost together and now, not anymore. Of all the things he’d hoped for, finding her hadn’t been something he’d dared dream about any more than getting out of this hellscape. His lost little Spectre, she’d come back.

“Well, come on,” the other Ghost bobbed, nodding back down to the others. “It’s time to go.”

Afraid a Harpy would come for him, the Vault’s longest non-Vex resident pushed off from his perch, slowing his fall with a late jump. Once his feet hit the floor, he scrambled across the stone and metal floor. Stopping only when he was surrounded by the Fire Team, Spectre still clutched in his hand, pressed to his war torn breastplate. She hummed and he knew this was real. He knew this was real because it smelled real; the gun oil, the burned ozone, the charred metal, even the sweat. Then, like a pre-Golden Age freight train, the strange mix of smells that were the desert, jungle, and beach that wafted through the open door and hit him.

He whispered, “This is real.”

Three hundred more steps and the sun warmed his bare face. Helmet long ago cannibalized for parts. Another fifty and the drop ship grabbed them up in transmat, all seven of them. His ghost hummed against his chest, she didn’t believe it either. Likely wouldn’t really believe it until they stood beneath the Traveler again.

---

The apartment the Warlock Vanguard, Ikora, had ushered him to was quiet. It looked out over the city and the gardens that were several levels below and for the first time, he didn’t feel trapped.

There were half a dozen people he’d need to speak with in the coming days, most of them current and former Vanguard. That would be a problem for tomorrow, today he was going to rest and catch up with his Ghost. Tomorrow, Praedyth the Timelost, would decide what his future held.

-----------------------------------------

Notes: I named his Ghost Spectre since YW is technically on this Fireteam and I can only keep Ghost’s named Ghost straight when I’m dealing with Drifter and YW.

#destiny fanfiction #praedyth #vault of glass #vog fanfic #destiny 2

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ayankun · 4 years ago

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WandaVision episode 6

FIRST OFF

Whenever I go back to pause things for clues, and find exactly what I’m looking for, I don’t feel justified, I feel that much more insane:

It’s really hard to make out, but I had an alright look at it on my folks’ QLED, and it’s definitely a flying saucer doing an alien abduction on what looks to be a person inside an old CRT TV (with some kind of robot head/boombox on top???) There are secret aliens in this show, you guys, the facts don’t lie.

HmmmMMMM I wonder if Agnes is as innocent as she looks:

Also, I didn’t see that she was wearing the brooch in this ep, and I was majorly disappointed in that.

Two things here:

No, that’s not a twins joke.

Another Moonmen Confirmed

I know green is his color or whatever, but that hat is literally 10 years ahead of its time

Also, I took the playing-DDR-at-home scenario at face value, and only on the first rewatch did I realize it was a very pointed turn-of-the-century reference. I am an Old.

There’s a good, subtle Rule of Threes in this ep. The Setup:

The Sokovian Halloween flashback works on so many levels. It’s so funny:

The fact that they went trick-or-treating at all

The “speaking Sokovian”

The treat being a fish

They have to share the fish

The concept that this event gave them an infectious disease

“You probably suppressed a lot of the trauma” -- it’s a good sitcom joke but. the trauma is the joke. The joke IS THE TRAUMA!!!

Elizabeth Olson is a dream with all her wonderful faces she has this ep.

Vision’s unsettling passive-aggression-sitcom-cooperation whiplash is WOW, consider me unsettled!!!!!! “Be. Good.” UGH.

(Just noticed one here, but there are a number of continuity errors in this episode, enough to be distracting later on, and is this a deliberate choice? Please let it be deliberate. I didn’t watch a whole lot of Malcolm in the Middle, is it known for its continuity errors?

)

“It’s their first Halloween.” LOLOLOL they are TEN YEARS OLD and this is their FIRST halloween I LOVE IT

DOUBLE RED HERRING CONFIRRRRRRRRMED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Agent Jimmy Woo accidentally identifying himself as the sassy best friend added 20 years to my life.

Found. FOUND. Not “created,” “manifested,” “willed into being using my insane witch powers.” Third Party Confirmed.

I like that it’s the 90s and we can swear on TV now. “Hell” “kick-ass” “damn it” “fu---dge”

I think the most biting part of Vision finding the whacked out folks is that the soundtrack just kind of ... ignores that anything’s wrong. Yeah, it’s kinda-spooky Halloween music, but it’s still 100% in-world kinda-spooky-sitcom-Halloween-episode music.

OKAY LET’S TALK ABOUT THE AD:

As a 90s child, let me tell you, this is a blisteringly accurate representation of children’s marketing from the period. The shark is wearing sunglasses AND he has a surfboard!!! And he’s selling you yogurt of all things!!!!! This is the supreme distillation of what being a child in the 90s was like.

How disappointed I am that they went with crab instead of lobster.

Heard it through the grapevine that this is a representative of Wanda’s imprisonment on the Raft. That happened in Civil War, right? So the next ad is The Snap? We’re running out of iconic decades, too. so, hold on, new thought.

90s: Civil War

00s: Infinity War

10s?????: Endgame???? or?????????

??: Whatever happened between Endgame and WandaVision, given that the ads are stepping forward through Wanda’s IRL life events!!

I don’t want to know how many episodes are planned/announced, but I don’t know what to expect from the format after they run out of decades from which to draw. Maybe there are only one or possibly two “sitcom” episodes left. Maybe after that it just breaks down and they can pick and choose from the worlds/styles we’ve already established. That’d be p neat. A very unique kind of chaos.

god she’s so cute

Okay, somebody explain to me Pietro. I honestly walked away from last week thinking he was just some townsperson chump, but then I was reminded that this is the Quicksilver actor from all those X-Mans movies I never watched, soooo people are saying Multiverse Confirmed? But, if this is X-Mans’ Pietro, then why did he die the same as MCU Pietro? Or is he literally MCU!Pietro’s corpse, given that he looked all dead same as when she saw Vision’s corpse? If MCU!Pietro, then why different face???

????????????????

Also I found him highly suspicious, what with all the questions he was asking. But the only sort of person who would truly want to know the answers to those questions would be someone who already had them ... so I think he was just asking on behalf of the audience, and the delivery was all wonked out.

Rule of Threes - The Reference:

Ok, real talk, whenever computers/networks/data/encryption/servers/mainframes et al come up in mainstream media, I just look away. I don’t need the kind of psychic damage that comes with such egregious mishandling of the topic.

That being said, does Hayward having eyes through the barrier mean that he could possibly be involved in getting it set up? Because look. If Hayward-after-Hayward’s-Villianous-Ends is one antagonizing force, then is there really room for the Third Party (Confirmed) antagonizing force that’s lurking in the negative space silhouette of the Inciting Incident? With Wanda as the Red Herring antagonizing force, that’s just. There’s just too many villains, alright? We gotta start merging these plotlines.

(then again, when I just said “eyes” I realize probably understanding the true nature of his new secret “CATARACT” project will clear a lot of things up. I’ll wait for enlightenment)

Agnes’ license plate in this episode is 0A1-B2C, which I think is a reference to the way reality is getting pared down to bare bones at the edge of town. Note that this is not the same license plate number as seen last ep.

ALSO, I drove home behind a NJ plate just an hour ago, and was staring at it for a long time, trying to fit it into the puzzle before A) realizing that this was Real Life and not part of the show and B) WTF is a NJ plate doing in front of me in California. In any case, I can confirm that NJ plates do not appear to have this number-letter repeating format.

So let’s talk Agnes.

Demonstrated knowledge of the situation in ways others haven’t (”There’s the star of the show” “kids, you can’t control ‘em”)

Shows up when needed most (explained as being Wanda’s doing, but is it)

When Wanda was having her babies, though, who was trustworthy enough to be summoned? Was it Agnes?

Wanted to babysit REAL BAD

Was in the opening credits framed possessively with the twins

Doesn’t appear to have an IRL identity according to Jimmy’s crime board

Keeps talking about her husband but we’ve never seen him. Highly unlikely that he’s real

Was the one to find Sparky “dead” - internet thinks she was lying to Wanda about how or possibly if he was dead (I’m trying not to read the theories, so idk exactly what the angle is there)

In an episode where everyone is wearing their original comic outfits, Agnes is dressed as (and laughs like!) a witch

She name-drops Wanda as the one controlling everyone; Norm (or the guy playing Norm) only said “she” and “her” -- meaning Agnes?

Naughty

So we’re 99% sure Agnes is Agatha Harkness, right? I never read no comics, so I’m taking the internet’s word for it, but from what I can tell, I think we must be right. If that’s the case, then I’m thinking it’s not impossible for her to be pulling some strings around here (giving Wanda a justification for her “that wasn’t me” doorbell ring, for example, and pulling a double red herring on the fact that she shows up whenever the narrative Wanda her nefarious scheme calls for it).

To devil’s advocate myself, though, we also have Monica’s word that it was Wanda in her mind, lessening the impact of Agnes falsely confirming what Norm only implied. Also she’d have to be acting for Vision’s sake (and ours) and, if so, then what did Vision’s brain-touch really do, and how did she know he’d find her there, and what did she intend as the result of that interaction etc etc.

If Wanda’s (or Wanda + Third Party Confirmed (Agnes??)’s) powers aren’t enough to sustain the simulation of life on the edges of town, how much worse is it going to be now that there is even more area to try to control???

I don’t know if this is strictly an intended read, but the idea of Halloween as a fun, scares-for-entertainment’s sake type holiday, the rounding off the edges of concepts like “skeletons and ghosts are what people are after they die, let’s decorate the town with them and have a good time” kind of is a haunting parallel to the nature of Wanda (et al) covering up the horrible truth of the situation with this happy-go-lucky sitcom glamour.

How much does one hate seeing Vision giving his life for the greater good (the greater good) for the second time? In other news, I think I’m seeing some specifically Mind Stone type energy-colors coming off of him, and very little Wanda type energy-colors. Third Party Confirmed.

Also, I was thinking from last week that perhaps Hayward’s Villainous Ends included capturing the reanimated Vision to be one of those Sentient Weapons his organization is all about, but I Do Not Think his reaction to seeing that sought-after prize disintegrate in front of his eyes really matches up with that theory. Again, will be patiently waiting for Jimmy to check his email to see what CATARACT is all about!

Rule of Threes - The Payoff:

Also, anyone ID the movie playing in the background?

Ok, final thought. I watched this about four times today, and on the big-ass TV at my parents’ house finally paused and got up close to see what that white shape is in the reflection. Thought it might be a skull, but, it’s worse.

These caps do not contain enough data to verify my claim, but I PROMISE YOU it’s a TV

A square old thing with a round screen and antenna on top.

I SWEAR to you, when I looked into the TV, into Wanda’s eyes, only to see the reflection of a TV, of her looking at me looking at her I had a visceral fear reaction. Like. LEGIT nauseous skin crawl.

(All the other episodes have ended with our POV as the fourth wall, from the general (or exact!!!) position their household TV is known to be.)

This is my favorite show Of All Time.

#WandaVision #1x06 #All-New Halloween Spooktacular!

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reginaldqueribundus · 5 years ago

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what is a star wars?

Star Wars is about humans and aliens flying around space wisecracking and shooting at each other and befriending adorable robots, and exists primarily to make people argue on the internet. It takes place in a faraway galaxy where you can have a ray gun, a cool spaceship and your own mechanical slave, and maybe even mystical psychic powers (in which case you will most likely join a cult or get murdered). But the whole place gets torn apart every couple of decades in galactic wars caused by two tribes of space wizards, one of which is Good™ but slightly stupid, and the other of which is Evil and obsessed with giant death lasers. One wizard family in particular keeps fucking things up for everyone and then trying to fix it.

Wildlife consists of cute marketable pets or enormous monsters who try to kill you, people primarily communicate via holograms, and there are robots literally everywhere and so many assassins they probably have their own section in the phone book, but no paper.

Available jobs are space wizard, bounty hunter, Nazi, royalty, smartass pilot, or foot soldier who dies in ten seconds. The whole galaxy is run by a) a bunch of bureaucrats who are all corrupt and never get anything done, or b) a dictatorship controlled by an immortal space warlock, both simultaneously with shit ton of overpowered crime syndicates that never really seem to go away. The dictatorship actually only lasts like 20 years but people spend forever trying to bring it back.

Star Wars mostly comes in three main flavours:

Original Flavour (episodes 4-6): the first three Star Wars movies from the 80s, in which Space fascists have built a giant flying ball that kills planets. A rebel princess with giant cinnamon buns for hair gets a diagram of the ball and wants to blow it up but she gets caught by a cyborg with asthma so she gives the diagram to two robots: a garbage can who just beeps and a gay one who translates everything the trash can says. They get mugged by tiny people in hoods and sold to a twink who lives on a farm in the desert. He takes the robots to see a crazy old hobo who gives him a laser sword and tells him to learn space magic. The twink is reluctant but gives in after the fascists turn his aunt and uncle into skeletons. They hire a getaway driver and his friend Bigfoot to take them to the princess’s planet but it got blown up so they rescue her from the Planet Killing Ball and blow it up. The hobo turns into a ghost so the twink learns magic from a weird little goblin who lives in a swamp. Then he finds out the cyborg is his dad but evil while his friends hang out in a flying city with the only black man in the galaxy. Jetpack Man shoves their getaway driver into a slab of concrete because he owes a ton of money to a mafia boss who is a giant slug but they rescue him and blow up the slug’s yacht. A gross old man tries to get the twink to be evil but he just wants to bond with his dad while his friends fuck around in the woods with some teddy bears. The space death ball comes back but they blow it up again and the princess fucks their getaway driver because the twink was her brother all along.

Greenscreen Flavour (eps 1-3): the prequels from 20 years ago. we meet the evil cyborg before he was evil or a cyborg and just an annoying little kid in a bowl cut who likes to drive in DEATH RACES. He meets a teenage queen with an even more ridiculous haircut and saves her planet from an army of robots. The Good space wizards kidnap him and turn him into a warrior monk because they think he is the Chosen One but then he grows up and gets hot and starts boning the queen who is now a space politician. Then more robots come and an army of clones comes out of nowhere to fight the robots and there are Politics and Christopher Lee. Jetpack Man’s dad shows up and immediately dies. The hobo is younger and hotter and looks like Jesus and says “hello there” and he tries to make the boy be a Good wizard but he fucks it all up and they fight in a volcano after the creepy old man turns the boy evil by telling him fairy tales at the opera. After murdering all the wizards except the goblin and the hobo the old man sticks the boy in an iron lung suit and tricks everybody into doing fascism so he can wear big comfy robes all the time.

Disney Flavour (eps 7-9): the sequel trilogy that just finished. 30 years after the originals the princess has a dumbass incel son who works for these neo-nazis led by a corpse in a gold bathrobe and a ginger who screams all the time and they built a planet that kills other planets. The princess tries to fight them but the getaway driver is dicking around in space with bigfoot and the twink fucked up so bad he ran off to milk dinosaur tiddies in the middle of nowhere. One bad guy foot soldier switches sides because he’s gay for the princess’s best pilot and they run away together and meet a random scavenger girl and help her look for the original characters so they can blow up the killer planet. The incel kills his dad so the girl cuts his face off but later they start magic-Skyping somehow and maybe want to bone?? The good guys spend a whole movie getting chased around by the bad guys while the ex-soldier and a janitor trash a casino and the scavenger tries to get the twink to please teach her some space magic but he just mopes around until she gets bored and runs off to see the incel but he sucks too so she gets the princess to teach her instead. The goblin’s ghost shows up, tells the twink he’s a failure and sets his treehouse on fire, so the twink kills himself by astral projecting across the galaxy to fuck with his nephew. The princess gets tired of her son’s bullshit and also kills herself by bothering him from across the galaxy so he’ll get stabbed and hopefully die, but the scavenger girl wants to turn him good so they can have sex. Then it turns out the old man was behind it all and the girl is his granddaughter so they hunt him down and kill him again.

And then the other flavours:

Buffet Flavour (Legends): after the original movies came out there were a shit ton of books and comics that continued the story. The princess has more kids who aren’t all dumbasses and she tries really hard to make democracy stick while learning space magic. A Smug Blue Douchebag tries to bring back the dictatorship while mansplaining everyone’s culture to them, and the twink finally gets a girlfriend and tries to start his own space wizard school but fucks it up by building it on a haunted graveyard so an evil ghost messes with his students until one of them steals a ship that blows up suns. The fascists are still kind of hanging around harassing everyone and people keep trying to build giant death lasers. Later a shit ton of space orcs who are immune to magic show up and try to kill everyone with organic technology. Then Mickey Mouse came along and dunked the whole thing in the trash, but luckily you can still read it!

Extra Flavour Packets: these fall into two categories: the “Star Wars Story” prequels from a few years ago, and the animated shows (released through the late 2000s and 2010s) that take place between the movies.

The extra prequels: Solo is all about how the getaway driver became a getaway driver and became friends with Sasquatch and stole his crappy ship from a poker player who fucks robots. They steal a bunch of space gasoline to defeat a rival biker gang. Rogue One is about a scrappy girl whose dad built the giant space laser ball and wants her to destroy it, so she teams up with a sexy terrorist, a space trucker, a blind guy and his husband, and a robot cop who got hacked into being good so they can steal the blueprints to the laser ball so someone else can blow it up in a different movie. They all definitely live happily ever after!!

The animated shows: In Star Wars: The Clone Wars, during the big robots-vs.-clones war the Chosen One gets his own child soldier to keep as a pet and they hang out with Young Hobo Jesus and the goblin and Bald Black Wizard Guy. They have many adventures getting to know their clones, somehow never figuring out the old man is behind it all, and fighting Christopher Lee and his pet goth chick and a bionic weed whacker whose name literally means “bad”. Then 20 years later (Star Wars Rebels) a kid with blue hair meets a student space wizard who survived the big wizard purge and they get together with a green lady pilot, a punk warrior graffiti artist, a different Bigfoot and a robot who is an asshole, and fly around the galaxy trying to convince people to fight oppression, the Smug Blue Douchebag and a lady with a shitty haircut. Throughout it all, the Satanic-looking ninja wizard guy who got chopped in half in the prequels comes back somehow and keeps bothering everyone, plus there is a goofy space pirate who wants to be everyone’s friend and maybe steal their wallets. (There’s another show called Star Wars Resistance but I haven’t seen that one. It’s about… pilots?)

Dusty Flavour (The Mandalorian): the only live-action show! This one is still going. Five years after the original movies a grouchy mercenary from the Jetpack Tribe who never takes his kickass helmet off bcuz religion gets hired by Werner Herzog to kidnap a baby goblin wizard because the leftover fascists want it for some reason. Helmet man decides he is going to take the baby home instead and he makes friends with a pig man and a lady with giant biceps and a huge gun. Every single bounty hunter in the entire galaxy tries to kill him but he is so cool he keeps going.

As with Star Trek, there are many, many, so many people who will tell you which flavours are Bad. Try each one for yourself, and you can find out which one you like! Just…just don’t watch the holiday special.

————————————————————————

see more “Sam Explains Pop Culture” here

#star wars #the mandalorian #sequel trilogy #prequel trilogy #original trilogy #star wars the clone wars #star wars rebels #star wars legends #solo a star wars story #rogue one #a post by me™#sam explains a thing #pop culture #reposting this because the original isn't showing in the tags for some reason

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kimera20 · 5 years ago

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Bones

Dannymay 2020 day 16

Also in AO3 and FF

“Those are a lot of bones” Danny said.

“Indeed” Pandora nodded.

“And all of those are mine?” Danny asked awed.

“By the wording our laws yes, they are. We only came to make sure that they would respond to you” Pandora said.

A few weeks ago Danny received a message indicating that for the ‘Right of Conquest’ everything of Pariah Dark was now his. It included his lair, treasures, weapons, army and title, so now Danny could be known as the Ghost King Phantom. Danny’s response was a rotund no, he didn't want to be the ghost king at all.

After the reassurance of Clockwork, Frostbite, Princess Dora and Pandora that he didn't have to govern them, after all they been without a king for thousands of years and know how to govern their own places, and that he didn't have more responsibilities. Only then Danny accepted it.

The first thing he did was explore the lair, it was a huge castle but empty and dready, lucky the sarcophagus with the previous king wasn't anywhere in the castle, Clockwork later told him it had been moved to a secure location. The decor wasn't really his stile, probably Sam but she would want other colors than red and black, just as he finished the thought the color of the castle changed to a base black with white decor, Danny liked that some of the details looked like stars.

He then found the treasure room, more like a basement filled with gold and precious gems. Apparently he was rich now though he had to ask for help to use it in earth, there was no way people don't question him in the origin of it, maybe Tucker would know, he was really good at business, just not very lucky on them.

The last location was the outside, where the skeleton army of the Ghost King rested and defended the castle in case of attack, problem was Danny didn't know how to wake them up, or what to do with them in cse they woke up. That’s why he had asked for help and Pandora was the one to respond, being the closer to his new lair and having an army of her own made her the best choice.

“So what do I do?” Danny asked looking clueless at her.

“Tell them to rise to your service” Pandora said.

“Um… rise?” Danny said to the semi buried skeletons getting no response.

“Try to say it in a commanding voice” Pandora suggested amused.

“Urgh alright. But don't laugh” Danny pleaded embarrassed.

“Of course” Pandora said trying to hide a smile with one of her hands.

Danny cleared his throat before screaming “RISE!”

The ground trembled while the undead army stood in front of its commander. There were thousand of them, the great majority were made of human skeletons, armed with swords and bows, some even had axes. There were some animals mostly horses, dogs, five unidentifiable masses of bones put together to make quadruped beasts the size of elephants and two dragons a little smaller than Princess Dora. All with their bones bright green of ectoplasm and ready for they orders.

“Now what?” Danny asked in awe of the sheer numbers of skeletons.

“Now you order and they do what you say” Pandora said.

“So if I say to bow woul-” Danny was interrupted by the sound of thousands of bones moving at the same time, his army bowing to him.

“Alright. You can rest now, return to sleep” Danny ordered and his army obeyed.

“They will do anything I say even if it wasn't an order right?” Danny asked.

“It’s that way with non sentient soldiers. I prefer mine to think and learn, that's why I reclute others that want to fight for me” Pandora explained.

“Oh like a robot army” Danny said.

“I don't know what are those but if it helps you understand then yes, like that” Pandora said slightly confused, she’ll have to ask later.

“Wait, what would happen if I wake them in Amity Park?” Danny asked.

“They will appear there, probably rising like you saw here” Pandora said.

“I don't want the whole army to appear if I need like only three of them” Danny said worried, he didn’t want to swarm the town with green skeletons.

“Hm… try to be more specific in your sumon” Pandora suggested.

“Alright. Three rise!” Danny exclaimed.

Three skeletons woke up, two humans with swords and one animal, it looked like a horse but with fangs.

“Yes! It worked! You can rest now” Danny said and the skeletons obeyed.

“Thanks Pandora” Danny said, he didn't want to imagine all the mistakes he would had made without help.

“You are welcome friend. Though just for curiosity, what do you plan to do with your army?” Pandora asked.

“Well, not much, maybe help me fight other ghosts in Amity. I don't have a lot of ideas right now” Danny said.

“I see. Well I have to return to my place, feel free to visit anytime you want” Pandora said.

“Sure, see you later. I better go and finish to explore the castle I want to show my friends all of it” Danny said excited.

“Good luck with that” Pandora said waving, she was glad that over all ghosts it was Phantom the one to defeat the tyrant king. An army that big in the hands of the most compassionate ghost she had seen in decades would do good to everyone.

#Danny Phantom #dannymay2020

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pomrania · 6 years ago

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Halloween monster races

Ever want to play as a monster? Of course you do, it'd be fun. But the statblocks you find for "monsters" aren't designed to work for player characters, and some of them are, well... "dumb as bricks" is one way of putting it. Here's a better alternative: reflavour the various PC races to get something that's nice and monster, and then stat up your monster character with class and background, as you wish.

This is specifically for D&D 5E; I looked at the mechanics of each race, to find ones that could fit well for the concepts. With different gaming systems, those exact things would probably not work; but hopefully this can provide inspiration.

Werewolf: shifter This isn't even sporting, as shifters are designed, both in mechanics and in flavour, as Lycanthrope Lite.

Ghost: eladrin or shadar-kai So they're not intangible, but teleportation can mimic that effect, somewhat; and the Dexterity bonus from elves also makes them harder to hit in general.

Zombie: half-orc You know how sometimes zombies get back up after you've killed them? Half-orcs have a thing that's pretty close to that.

Skeleton: any Listen, mechanics-wise, skeletons in D&D are pretty boring; pick whatever race you want, just say "and also this character has no flesh and their body is just bones".

Vampire: tiefling The "standard" tiefling gets Drama: The Cantrip at first level, which is great for any gothic mood-setting; but the different tiefling variants also fit with different vampire "focuses". Other races to consider, minimal-to-no reflavouring needed: changeling kenku tabaxi lizardfolk warforged Further details below the cut. Trans rights are human rights, and black lives matter.

((Also posted on Pillowfort, here.))

Werewolf (shifter)

The only thing difficult about using this, is getting the sourcebook; the shifter race is found in the Eberron stuff, and not the more setting-agnostic books. But once you have access to that, it's so easy it's barely worth going through. Depending on what type of "werewolf" you're basing this off of, it could be any of the subraces.

Suggested change/s: Maybe add something to the flavour, that the character looks barely humanoid while shifted? That's about it.

Ghost (eladrin or shadar-kai)

Both of these options are from Mordenkainen's Tome of Foes, and they're elf subraces. Let's start with the "elf" bit first. Bonus to Dexterity makes them harder to hit, not sleeping is a pretty ghostly trait, and advantage on saves against being charmed could be played as "I'm dead, why would I care".

Both potential subraces have teleportation, but shadar-kai can only do that once per long rest while eladrin have it once per short rest. (However, shadar-kai resist necrotic damage, which is a very ghostly thing to do.) At third level, both of them get nice extras when they teleport; shadar-kai get more ghostly, with resistance to ALL damage, while for eladrin it depends on essentially their emotional state. It all depends on what type of ghost you want to play.

Suggested change/s: Swap the Elvish language proficiency for another language the character learned in life, or after death, if necessary. Describe the "teleportation" as going intangible and quickly moving.

Zombie (half-orc)

"Relentless Endurance" is the main mechanic draw to this race. Once per long rest, if they'd drop to 0hp, they can drop to 1hp instead. The bonus to Strength and Constitution also fit nicely with undead toughness. Proficiency in Intimidation is easily explained as being a creepy-looking dead thing.

Suggested change/s: swap the Orc language proficiency for any other languages that might fit better with the setting; if that happens to still be Orc, so be it. If you want to better represent how durable zombies are, swap the stat bonuses so it's +2 to Constitution and +1 to Strength.

Skeleton (any)

As stated above, skeletons in 5E are mechanically BORING. The only thing to distinguish them, really, is that they're vulnerable to bludgeoning damage, and that's not something that any race has, for the very good reason that it would make a character easy to kill at low levels. Focus on the descriptive aspects of this instead; describe how any blow resonates through the character's exposed bones.

Vampire (tiefling)

This one is a little involved, so bear with me here. As I said, Thaumaturgy is basically Gothic Drama in cantrip form; if you just want to use the PHB tiefling, this is a very good reason, and also the Charisma increase fits well with vampiric charm.

Mordenkainen's Tome of Foes however has tiefling variants, some of which might fit better with the kind of vampire you want to play. The Fierna variant is what you'd want if your vampiric vision is more about controlling others; it swaps out Thaumaturgy for Friends, and its spells are Charm Person and Suggestion. The Baalzebul, Dispater, and Zariel variants all keep Thaumaturgy as their cantrip, and only change the non-Charisma ability increase and the spells at levels three and five; since those traits weren't very vampire-centric to begin with, they're all just as viable as the "standard" tiefling. As for the others... listen, there's a LOT of vampire fiction out there, I can GUARANTEE that someone has published a book where ANY of those abilities are given as "standard vampiric traits".

Suggested change/s: Alter Hellish Resistance so it gives resistance to cold, instead of fire, damage; the undead are more known for going out in winter without a coat, than they are for their ability to be set on fire and not harmed. (Both fire and cold are "elemental" damage types, so it shouldn't mess with the balance.) Instead of "dies in sunlight", take the drow Sunlight Sensitivity; and bring Superior Darkvision along with it, to keep it from being too much of a burden. Have the unarmed attack deal one point of piercing damage, as opposed to bludgeoning damage, from the character's fangs; those are for feeding on prey, not killing their foe. Adjust the "racial" languages as appropriate.

Other stuff

Now, onto the other player races that work quite well as "monsters", without having to really do anything to them. (I know that "shifter" probably belonged here, but werewolves are too iconic to relegate to "and also" status.)

Changeling: They can change their physical features whenever they want. Off the top of my head, I can think of three completely different movies which have that as the gimmick of the main villain, and I don't watch that many movies.

Kenku: Mostly this is just that their lore is Messed Up, and I think they would be really cool as an Igor type of mad scientist's assistant. Also there's that potential plague doctor aesthetic.

Tabaxi: ...listen. Cat-people weren't always considered to be PRIMARILY the vehicle of furry fetishes.

Lizardfolk: They look like lizards and they come from swamps, you do the math.

Warforged: Let's get one thing straight: warforged are not robots. However, they fill many of the same ROLES as robots. Created for a specific purpose, not needing to eat or drink or sleep or breathe, tough physical form.... There's also some similarities to Frankenstein's Monster, if you want to go that way.

#gaming #monsters and others #original content #not a reblog

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nocturnalsleeper · 5 years ago

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500 Drawing Prompts

waterfall

wizard's staff

zombies

sandcastle

fangs

tattoo

family crest

spaceship

mythical beast

spooky tree

alien

tropical cocktail

robot

dragon

tombstone

medieval goblets

king's throne

mermaid

vampire

witch's cauldron

tooth fairy

deep sea monster

magic carpet

sculpture

coral reef

wine bottle

statue of liberty

beast

beauty

elephant

Mayan ruins

birds

cameras

bowl of soup

breakfast

lunch

snack

dinner

flower vase

ladder

full moon

bright sun

autumn

summer

spring

winter

butterfly

caterpillar

troll

roller skates

rain boots

weeds

flowers

bedroom

kitchen

dining room

bathroom

egg hatching

wrist watch

night

harvest

pond

raincoat

hat

water bottle

flashlight

sailboat

dandelion

earthworm

bank robber

policeman

superhero

villain

view out a window

cactus

sunflower

mosquito

spider web

star fish

flip flops

lawn chair

trampolines

pots and pans

sword

lighthouse

pie on a windowsill

house plant

soldier

chimney

barbed wire

squirrels

hot sauce

chain

beehive

helicopter

hot dog

venus flytrap

stained glass

sphinx

skateboard

serenity

open book

werewolf

hourglass

tower

camel

Cleopatra

favorite book character

desert

forest

mountains

ocean

pumpkin seed

pine cone

octopus

mannequin

lollipop

something sticky

footprints

tractor

slime

island paradise

sand dune

archer

my favorite outfit

trophies

fishing fly

black hole

cyclops

swan

mirror

microphone

pretzels

newspaper

submarine

scrambled eggs

eel

wave

bike

leather boots

keys

coffee cup

self portrait

snake charmer

playground

sumo wrestler

crystal chandelier

eight ball

secrets

treasure chest

children's toy

something that sparkles

penguin

unicorn

pirate

tribal pattern

suit of armor

pinball machine

erupting volcano

seahorse

ninja

happy monster

futuristic car

three little pigs

magic amulet

yeti

toolbox

fish bones

zipper

carpenter

handcuffs

doll house

mask

telescope

piano

windmill

double sided axe

samurai

ghost

hot air balloon

bubbles

polka dots

plate of cookies

snake scales

pair of socks

high dive

belt

figure skater

fisherman

space

jack-o-lantern

Cinderella's glass slipper

hay bale

bumper cars

cover wagon

spy

fighter jet

parachute

tree bark

radio

art gallery

bow and arrow

pepperoni pizza

snail

bushel of apples

doorknob

talking object

harp

chess pieces

sprinkler

electricity

computer keyboard

presents

barn

plaid

jewelry

ballet

curtains

tripod

sunglasses

bow tie

Saturn's rings

birdcage

swap creature

horse and carriage

banana peel

stapler

toothpaste

thunder storm

movie poster

video game controller

cinnamon sticks

target

skull

elf

alien plant life

first love

new baby

kids jumping

glaciers

shark

scarf

wheelchair

blacksmith

four wheeler

cowboy

crossroads

pedestal

police car

pug

someone who is full of joy

what's under your bed

hieroglyph

dolphin

wooden shield

laughing

jump rope

desk

something big next to something small

taxi

staircase

tomahawk

hummingbird

hedgehog

gorilla

firetruck

soda can

teddy bear

fortune cookie

fruit basket

smirk

game of marbles

crumpled paper

swordfish

alarm clock

goldfish

puppet

salt and pepper shakers

jet pack

time machine

hands

wood fencing

cave mouth

milkshake

high heeled shoes

music

smile

mad scientist

telephone booth

skyscraper

gargoyle

diamond

sushi

brier patch

something that comes in pairs

box of chocolates

brick wall

bat

chicken

bonsai tree

headphones

a new typeface

jellyfish

candy canes

lawn mower

rain puddles

school

lamb

wolf

bed

bowl of popcorn

lampshade

peacock

turtle

bear

ceiling fan

yo-yo

oil spill

kite

invisible man

casino

Abraham Lincoln

ice cream cone

corn on the cob

claws

beekeeper

coins

watermelon

landing on the moon

rotary telephone

brain

rocks

needle in a haystack

picnic basket

fireplace

bottle of poison

genie in a bottle

knight

hammer

acorn

orange

owl

hair

wheel barrel

pyramids

exploding dynamite

shrimp

guitarist

keyboardist

drummer

singer

griffin

carousel horse

bunnies

puppies

board game

a famous painting

stone walkway

maple leaf

lizard

eyes

ears

nose

mouth

leopard

record player

bulldozer

bride

snowman

feather headdress

playing cards

windy day

sleeping bag

dancing skeleton

piggy bank

wizard

evil prince

lantern

beach ball

cherub

sprout

aircraft carrier

olympic swimmer

wedding dress

feather

baseball glove

noodles

cat

dog

happy

sad

angry

relaxed

graffiti

motorcycle

tornado

caveman

pineapple

Lock Ness monster

flag

gas mask

starry sky

dream house

deer

Goldilocks

frog

tadpole

swing

circus clown

earth

cupcake

lace

rocking chair

bravery

Big Ben

doctor

railroad car

parade

Christmas sweater

Ferris wheel

sci-fi gun

medicine cabinet

birthday party

cutlery

great wall of china

umbrella

traffic sign

catapult

light bulb

bamboo

heart

moon colony

sandwiches

juice box

lake house

bushes

hard candy

camouflage

platypus

football helmet

soccer game

balloons

astronaut

missing teeth

memory

jukebox

tulip

ladybug

birthday cake

t-shirt

igloo

golf ball

fossils

your least favorite food

pencil cup

half eaten apple

food with a face

horseshoe

daffodil

castle

tea party

scared

bag of chips

camping

cabin

bonfire

ship

watering can

palm tree

wind chimes

armchair

fireworks

knife

wine cork

waitress

farmer

fountain

last leaf on a tree

saber toothed tiger

grocery store

rainbow

typewriter

engine

bluebird

shooting star

a new invention

school of fish

bearded lady

secret garden

suspension bridge

viking artifact

Eiffel tower

a feast for a king

guitar

tree house

seashell

dinosaur

sea lion

Taj Mahal

your favorite animal in a tuxedo

#art prompt #drawing #drawing prompt #challenge

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nugothrhythms · 6 years ago

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Nugoth Band List

I started this blog specifically for all those people out there tired seeing goth blogs listing all of the same five bands from the eighties that aren’t active anymore, looking for something different and something that still exists. This list will have bands most of which started no later than 2010 (not even that new at the time that this list is being made) and that are still active. They will be arranged according to subgenre. I will update this list accordingly.

Last updated: December 2, 2020

Postpunk/General Goth

-Astari Nite

-Secret Shame

-Masquerade

-Mtvaris Dabneleba

-Cliff and Ivy

-Shadow Age

-Scary Black

-Creux Lies

-Frozen Charlottes

-Esses

-Dignitary

-Swan Wash

-La Scaltra

-This Cold Night

-Whispering Sons

-Bleib Modern

-Ritual Howl

-Wisteria

-Trashlight

-The Objects

-Slaughterstein

-Screature

-DETOXI

-Fearing

-Publicist UK

-Aztec Death

-Leding

-Blotter

-Sleeping Pills

-The Misery Coven

-Deth Crux

-Meldamour

-Over

-Gizzards

-Ghost Painted Sky

- Diavol Strâin

-Molchat Doma

-Dividing Lines

-Hände

-Jenni Sex

-Final Body

-Wires & Lights

-The Horror Club

-Ozan Çam

-The Necromancers Union

-And So We Weep

-Dead Man’s Dream

-Merry’s Funeral

-Sweet Ermengarde

-Ganser

-Twin Graves

-Black Angel

-No Gossip in Braille

-ghostland

-Old Providence

-Ill Humans

-Freedom Curse

-Programmed For Pleasure

-Belfast

-Final Body

-Dehet Sinn

-Blind Seagull

-Dystt

-Succubus

-Camlann

-Pullo

-Silent Age

-Strangers

-Pilgrims of Yearning

-The Dead Souls

-Numb.er

-The Tacks

-Sounds Like Winter

-She Lost Control

Gothic Rock

-Her Despair

-Wisborg

-October Burns Black

-Ariel Maniki and the Black Halos

-Sonsombre

-Angels of Liberty

-The Wake

-Padkarosda

-Ground Nero

-The Gnosis

-Long Night

-Naut

-Gloom Room

-Rosegarden Funeral Party

-Then Comes Silence

-The Glass House Museum

-Cult Strange

-Then Comes Silence

-Slow Decay

-Dreamtime

-Dawn of Elysium

-The Miserablist

Darkwave/Coldwave

-Ash Code

-Milliken Chamber

-TR/ST

-Drab Majesty

-Twin Tribes

-She Past Away (technically started in 2008, but they weren’t really active until the 2010s, so they still count)

-Adorns

-Boy Harsher

-Selofan

-Light Asylum

-Vandal Moon

-Night Nail

-Wingtips

-Black Marble

-Actors

-Lebanon Hanover

-Zanias

-The Soft Moon

-Lifeless Past

-Blu Anxxiety

-Bragolin

-Christine Plays Viola

-Principe Valiente

-Panic Priest

-Saigon Blue Rain

-The Agnes Circle

-Azar Swan

-Hide

-Skeleton Hands

-The Shyness

-Kriistal Ann

-Night Sins

-Aurat

-Death Loves Veronica

-Paradox Obscur

-Three Rose Charm

-Forever Grey

-Replicant

-Vice Device

-Bootblacks

-Child of Night

-Push/Button/Press

-Korine

-Profit Prison

-Lucky+Love

-Riki

-Caress

-Nuovo Testamento

-Xostume

-Red Mecca

-Mannequin

-Affet Robot

-Jakuzi

-Elz and Cult

-Buzz Kull

-Monde Cruel

-Rain to Rust

-Chaude Zéro

-Un Hombre Solo

-VR SEX

-Geometric Vision

-Body of Light

-I Tpame I Tvrame

-Bedless Bones

-Pass/Ages

-Born Days

-Black Arcade

-The Rope

-Empathy Test

-Minuit Machine

-Totem

-Contravveleno

-Child of Night

-La Mécanique

-Brandy Kills

-Silent EM

-A Cloud of Ravens

-Suffering for Kisses

-The Stave Church

-Cerulean Veins

-Deaf Dance

-Tearful Moon

-Sydney Vallete

-The Seance

-Breath Play

-Qyburn

-Mareux

-Red Sol

-The Midnight Computers

-Leathers

-Palais Ideal

-Hoffen

-Błogie Milczenie

-Dancing Plague

-Factice Factory

-Shanghai Beach

-Void Lust

-Post Tropic

-Cold Choir

-Blood Dance

-Pitch After Dark

-NATURE

-Gil’otina

-Rosy Cheeks

-Hallows

-Amrou Kithkin

-El Muertho de Tijuana

Deathrock/Horror Punk

-The Ire

-Ötzi

-Vueltas

-Radio Scarlet

-Nox Novacula

-Catholic Spit

-Medusa Stare

-Mystic Priestess

-False Figure

-Virgin in Veil

-Cemetery

-The Phantom Limbs

-Tragic Black

-The Bellicose Minds

-The Exorcists

-Lost Tribe

-Dead Cult

-Autonomy

-Adrenochrome

-Headdress

-Totenwald

-Shrouds

-Rubella Ballet

-B Ward

-Horror Vacui

-New Skeletal Faces

-Crimson Scarlet

-Coffin Moth

-MAäSK

-Arcanasphere

-Rot Remains

-Slimy Member

-Lord Travvis

-The Psychosomatics

-Annex

-The Wraith

-Twin Schism

-Echo People

-Tango Mangalore

-Mark E Moon

-The Dirty Horror

-Deep Cavity

-Love Loss

-Twins Killed Last December

-The Objects

-Dead Cult

-GAST

-Fin del Mundo

-Bastet

-Skeletal Bats

Ethereal

-Friends of Alice Ivy

-Kælan Mikla

-Girl Grave

-Hante.

-Silence in the Snow

-Venetian Veil

-Witch of the Vale

-Violet Sky

-The Eden House

-Purple Dynamine

-Red Apple Cvlt

Gothgaze

-Echolust

-SRSQ

-Choir Boy

-Traitrs

-All Your Sisters

-Reduction Plan

-Single Lash

-Second Still

-Pink Milk

-Soft Kill

-Staring Problem

-Dead Serpent

-Terremoto

-Fever Dream Horror Scene

-Schonwald

Dark Cabaret/Neo-Classical

-Tarantella

-Orphans Cabaret

-The Parlour Trick

-Venus de Vilo

-The Narcoleptor

-Mina’s Veil

Gothabilly

-Karling and the Kadavers

-Voodoo Eyes

-The Phantom Cowboys

-Screamin’ Sins

-Madame St. Beatrice

Experimental/Eclectic/Other

-S.A.D. (Sudden Axis Disorder)

-Baical

-The Bedroom Witch

-La Reina de los Condenados

-The Long Losts

-Lust Era

-Morgue Poetry

-New Evil

-My Own Burial

-Fotocrime

-VOWWS

-Cold Showers

-Terminal A

-Gross Net

-Jaye Jayle

-Mercury’s Butterfly

-Delphine Coma

-Echoberyl

-Hyoscyamus Niger

-Bambara

-Nutopians

-Deathtrippers

-Okandi

-Nass Zuruck

-Secret Mutilator

-Of Mermaids

#gothgoth #goth #nugoth #deathrock #darkwave

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argentdandelion · 6 years ago

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Cross-Fandom Analysis: “I’m Bad, and That’s Good”

Or, “How to Not Die by Falling into Not-Lava”.

Thesis: Ralph’s speech of “I’m bad, and that’s good. I will never be good, and that’s not bad. There’s no one I’d rather be...than me.” also applies to W.D. Gaster of Handplates, but in an opposite moral direction.

(For simplicity’s sake, this article will not be considering the sequel Ralph Wrecks the Internet)

Ralph Context

Ralph: “Sure must be nice, being the good guy.” Ralph: “Here’s the thing. I don’t want to be the bad guy anymore.” Clyde (the orange ghost in Pac-Man): “Ralph, Ralph. We get it. But we can’t change who we are. The sooner you accept that, the better off your game and your life will be.”

History

In the film Wreck-it Ralph, Ralph, who's been the "bad guy" of a Donkey Kong-esque arcade game for decades, doesn't want to be the "bad guy" any more. He's tired of getting defeated by his game's protagonist, Fix-it Felix, over and over and being excluded and not appreciated by everyone in his game. He doesn’t seem to have any friends; when he shows up to Bad Anon at the film’s beginning, it’s his first time.

In his game, Felix gets a medal for his heroism after defeating Ralph; to prove he can be a good guy, Ralph ventures to another game to get himself a medal. In the process, he accidentally brings a mindless killer robot to the helpless game Sugar Rush. Though thought destroyed, the robot actually survived and multiplied underground. He also loses his newfound medal, and in his quest to get it back, he befriends one of Sugar Rush's characters: Vanellope.

Motives

Ralph’s bad-guy status was externally-imposed: he was created for the role of being the bad guy in an arcade game, and the game literally puts words in his mouth to accomplish this. Refusing to play out his role or even just leaving his game for too long comes with the risk of making the arcade game seem broken, and if people think it's broken, it will be unplugged and its characters will become homeless; therefore it is selfish.

Ralph’s initial motives are selfish. The other characters in the game Wreck-it Ralph don’t believe he can ever get a medal because he’ll never be any more than a bad guy. When he gets a medal (by basically cheating rather than earning it), he figures he’ll come back to the admiration of the other game characters.

Execution of Motives

While Ralph’s initial motives for helping Vanellope are selfish, (he wants his hero’s medal back and helping Vanellope win a race will do it) he nonetheless does some kind, altruistic (arguably heroic) things to help Vanellope even before he gets his medal back.

When the other Sugar Rush characters harass Vanellope and tear apart her homemade cart, Ralph (who doesn’t even like her, at this point) charges down and scares the other racers off. He’ll get the medal back if Vanellope wins a race, but Vanellope doesn’t have a car or some place to practice. So he uses his super-strength to break into a car-making minigame facility and help Vanellope make a car, and also creates a racetrack for her to practice on.

Later, he unexpectedly gets his medal back before Vanellope races. the film’s antagonist also tricks him into believing that if Vanellope does win a race, Sugar Rush’s plug will be pulled, causing everyone to flee the game and become homeless game characters. Yet, Vanellope, as a glitch, cannot escape her game: she’ll die.

Ralph thus wrecks Vanellope’s cart so she can’t race, avoiding the outcome that will result in her death. (The scene is emotionally devastating; the author still always fast-forwards through that scene.) Later on, he breaks into prison to rescue Felix, the hero of the game Wreck-it Ralph, for Felix’s magic hammer can fix anything and thus can reassemble the remains of Vanellope’s car.

Speech Interpretation

At the film’s climax, Ralph learns a mindless killer robot (a Cy-Bug) he accidentally brought in from another game survived the crash of the escape pod that brought him to Sugar Rush. Not only that, but it multiplied into a massive army, in a game where there are no built-in controls to its spread. Vanellope, as a glitch character, cannot escape Sugar Rush. The film’s villain holds Ralph high in the air, trying to get him to watch Vanellope die. That’s when Ralph realizes he’s above a mountain of Mentos and lava-like diet cola. He escapes the villain’s clutches, intending to punch the entire layer of Mentos in the mountain into the boiling diet cola: the eruption would draw the Cy-Bugs in like moths to a flame and destroy them.

When Ralph is falling to his (presumed) death, it’s likely he believes he’s brought a lot of suffering onto Vanellope, such as bringing a Cy-Bug in (accidentally) and breaking her cart to start with. It’s likely he believes his sacrifice is the only way to save her.

Therefore, Ralph’s interpretation of the Bad Guy Affirmation would be: “I’ve messed up, and I’m doomed to be a villain. I accept that. At least Vanellope cares about me [he looks at his candy medal during this line], and this is the only thing I can do to save her.”

Handplates Context

Gaster: “It does not matter if they [the test subjects] can understand. It does not matter what they look like, or if they can think, or what they feel.” Gaster: “To even consider...[abandoning the experiment and raising the test subjects more-or-less normally]...such selfish sentimentality gets people killed. There is only one choice.”

History

In the Undertale fan comic Handplates (by Zarla-s), monsters were sealed underground with a magical barrier after losing a war millennia ago. When his son was killed by humans, Asgore, king of the monsters, declared war on humanity. He declared that any humans who fell into monsters’ underground realm would be killed, and their souls used to break the magical barrier keeping them all underground. However, Asgore is a kind pushover of a king, who once adopted human child himself. Going through with his declaration causes him a lot of emotional suffering. To ease his pain, the royal scientist W.D. Gaster tries to find some way to break or bypass the barrier without having the king kill any humans.

To this end, he cut out disks of bone from his hands to grow into “living tools” for his experiments. Yet, they unexpectedly became sentient monster children, causing some ethical problems.

W.D. Gaster, in some ways, is the opposite of Ralph. Though his whole family (and all other skeletons) were killed off in the war, he was de facto adopted by King Asgore and Queen Toriel, who loved him very much. He grew up to be a scientist, and helped the whole Underground with his inventions. Indeed, he gained the singularly esteemed position of royal scientist, with immense resources for whatever project he needed.

However, like Ralph, W.D. Gaster has very few friends. While he’s been alive for thousands of years (Ralph’s been alive for 30), he seems close to only three people: Alphys, Asgore, and Toriel. (and for most of the comic, he believes Toriel is dead)

Motives

W.D. Gaster’s bad-guy status was internally-imposed. Nobody is making him do cruel things. In fact, nobody other than himself and his test subjects even know he’s doing cruel things. He believes he is the only person who can do what he thinks must be done, for the greater good, so his motives are initially altruistic. While his devotion to Asgore and willingness to suffer for monsterkind’s sake is admirable, the way he goes about it is definitely a bad guy thing.

In contrast to Ralph, W.D. Gaster’s initial motives weren’t selfish. He wanted to free all monsters from their underground realm and soothe Asgore’s suffering however he could. Nobody considered him a “bad guy”: he was already admired and had people who cared about him.

Execution of Motives

After a brief period of a more-or-less happy childhood/toddler-hood (Gaster was emotionally unavailable, but not hostile), Gaster believed his “objectivity” was “at risk of being compromised”. He drilled in metal plates into the test subjects’ hands, starting a long chain of very painful experiments. Sometimes, he would perform these experiments not to serve his greater, ostensibly noble goal, but for no other reason than his own curiosity. (e.g., breaking one of Papyrus’s bones to see how long it would take to heal) Indeed, while he told himself he would do what he needed to do (including very painful experiments), sometimes his cruelty (e.g., not giving anesthesia) just isn’t pragmatic.

Speech Interpretation

Therefore, Gaster’s interpretation of the Bad Guy Affirmation would be: “I am, and am doomed to be, callous, unloving, and unworthy of love in turn, but that is good: it means I am able to do whatever is necessary to remove Asgore's need to kill again, and free monsterkind. My actions are unforgivable, but I have no choice to turn away from this course: in the end monsters will be freed, and I am willing to accept any punishment afterward for that goal. I do what I must, because I am the only one who can.”

Final Comparison and Results

(Ralph gets cake. Gaster not only does not get cake, but is erased from reality and forgotten by everyone.)

Both have an extended falling sequence into not-lava: lava-like boiling diet cola for Ralph, and magic “lava” (it’s unclear) in a power plant for Gaster. Both have someone who knows them well trying to save them during this sequence; for Ralph, it’s Vanellope, and for Gaster, it’s one of his test subjects, Papyrus (2-P).

Vanellope uses her glitch powers to glitch through the walls of the mountain on her cart, saving Ralph. (Incidentally, Ralph helped her with her glitch powers and cart driving.) Papyrus (called 2-P) tries to save Gaster from falling into the not-lava using gravity-altering blue magic. However, Gaster told him earlier that if he and his brother ever tried to use blue magic on him, they’d be severely punished, and Gaster proceeds to “demonstrate” by breaking quite a lot of Papyrus’s bones. This experience makes Papyrus hesitate, and so he’s too late to save Gaster.

Yet, despite sharing these similarities, their motives, character development, and actions are almost the opposite of each other. Ralph fell to begin with out of a heroic sacrifice to save Vanellope, while Gaster fell because one of his test subjects, Sans (1-S), who resented him for his cruelty, shoved him off a catwalk in the power plant. This, while the Bad Guy affirmation applies to both of them equally, one shows the descent of a “good guy” into villainy, and another shows the ascent of a “bad guy” into heroism.

#Undertale #Handplates #W.D. Gaster #Gaster #Wreck-it Ralph #Handplates Gaster #Zarla #Ralph (Wreck-it Ralph)

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braveskyered · 6 years ago

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Knights (Part 4)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Arthur's mind is pretty cluttered.

I need a clue.

Part 4: It’s Got Me Reeling

Arthur is in the fifth garage that's usually closed off in Four of a Kind Queens, taking apart a car engine with a baby monitor on the desk nearby. He would glance at it every now and then, and see the twins sleeping together in their crib on the tiny little screen. It could also detect sound, which made Arthur easily hear the lullaby music and sea sounds the little aquarium light in the crib plays. Whenever he heard the sound of either of them crying, he could quickly clean himself up and tend to them, assuming Vivienne doesn't get to them first.

Turning away from the monitor, he went back to work and his mind drifted to the the series of events that led to him leaving Tempo. First he arrived in Cantabile, then he met Elaine hours after doing so. Then he got hired by her grandmother as a mechanic right then and there after he found a major case of vehicular sabotage... and then Elaine suddenly asked him out on a date three months later.

Instead of a typical dinner or movie date, she invited him to attend a robotics convention a few hours away with her family. It was there that Arthur discovered that he has a new partial fear: crowds. He learned to manage it as long as he remained with someone he knew, because if when he remained alone, he could've sworn he saw either Lewis or Mystery or even Vivi peering at him from the corner of his eye. When Elaine learned of his newfound fear, she remained with him for the remainder of the trip.

Elaine may not know anything about Vivi or Lewis, or the Mystery Skulls in general, since Arthur never told her or the Knights family their names, but he is happy that she wanted to help him all the same. He still hasn't told her about the exact circumstances that made him leave Tempo, but Elaine never pressed for details, and the rest of the Knights left it alone, too.

As he got to know them, Arthur learned that the Knights are actually a family clan that specialize in monster hunting, and they happen to be monsters that hunt their own kind in a sense. They actively fight the monsters with the very power in their bloodline. It's not just ghosts they handle, but anything supernatural and malicious in general. So essentially, they're like the Mystery Skulls, but instead of merely investigating any strange occurrences, they actively hunt for the reasons things become haunted or people disappearing.

He remembered being afraid of Elaine, and by extension, the Knights family for two whole weeks after learning their secret.

- - - - - - -

Arthur knew that he is at Elaine's mercy, he felt numb, unable to feel the stinging from the alcohol used to disinfect his wounds. He struggled to keep the fear down his throat, and used every last bit of restraint to keep himself from running away. After Elaine rescued him, she quickly took him back to her van to assess his injuries. With the cult's drug still in his system, he had difficulty walking straight, so Elaine guided him to the small cot in the back of the van and took out the first aid supplies.

Elaine looked down, tears beginning to form, “I... I was going to tell you once we reached our seven month anniversary, but I guess this renders that pointless.”

It definitely explains things. The reason they're so efficient at hunting monsters is that they are monsters themselves. Monsters with human ancestry, humans with strong magic, or humans with monster ancestry...? How that is possible, Arthur couldn't even start trying to figure that out.

“I... I know you're afraid. I can feel your fear, and I wouldn't be surprised if you're afraid of me right now,” she gave a dark chuckle to hold her tears back, “I'm not used to being feared, since I never had to use my power like that before, but I... I just only wanted to save you. I-if you don't want to be with me anymore... I will understand,” she wiped at her face with her hand.

Arthur isn't sure what to think anymore. After having a vengeful wraith try to kill him, a wraith of his former best friend at that, Arthur developed a fear of the many different kinds of ghosts and monsters that exist in the paranormal even though he still continued the path of being an investigator. Not even Arthur himself knows why he still keeps investigating the paranormal despite his fears, although part of him assumed that it, along with his talent at robotics and engineering, are the only things he's good at.

Even though he is afraid, it is only through sheer willpower that he keeps going despite his hands always shaking with fear. However, the trust Arthur thought he had with the Mystery Skulls themselves is long shattered and damaged beyond repair, and he knew that it's all his fault. It's why he left, and why he could never go back to what he once was.

When he was taken by the cult, he didn't expect that Elaine would turn into a giant skeleton monster that would then slaughter most of the cult itself, leaving few survivors in her wake.

He had only heard of the Gashadokuro a few times from Vivi before the cave. According to her, it is a powerful and frightening yokai that originated from Japan, made from the souls of masses of people that never received their last rites, their bones eventually developing into a giant skeleton, their collective consciousness becoming one. How Elaine could turn into one is beyond him, but it still didn't change the fact that she is a monster like Lewis and Mystery are. Despite Elaine's pleading for him to wait as she spoke in that form, Arthur tried to run, tears streaming down his face with fear, but fell down.

Even though he's afraid, she still helped him. The Gashadokuro are known to kill and eat humans and drink their blood, and Arthur knew as he clenched his teeth in angered despair that his soul is considered delicious prey for predators, so why wouldn't this monster just kill and eat him already if he's meant to be its prey?!

“Arthur... i-it's okay if... if you don't want to be with me anymore... it's okay if you're af-afraid... you can leave me... if that's what you want...”

Elaine is crying openly at him, snapping Arthur out of the numbness.

“Just... don't hate me... Please...!”

- - - - - - -

Arthur has to admit that he isn't really proud of that memory. If there is one thing he wanted to avoid, it's to see his wife cry so brokenly like that again. Granted, the two weeks after that were rough, but thankfully, he and the Knights family were able to... clear up the misunderstandings after many a trial, much to the family's happiness. The irony of Arthur having a paranormal significant other isn't lost to him, but the only difference is that Elaine isn't dead.

I'm sorry, Lewis...

Within a year after that, after many weekly dates and knowing each other through their mechanical work and paranormal investigations, Arthur realized, to both his joy and horror, that he had slowly fallen for Elaine once he fully accepted her for who and what she is. He briefly considered wanting to go to the next level in their relationship, but immediately threw the thought out, knowing that he doesn't deserve such a bond, and that he knew that she wouldn't want him. They only went as far as holding hands or the occasional hug, and Arthur knew that she could easily toss him aside like Vivi and Lewis did, despite her saying that she loved him.

Arthur scoffed at the memory of thinking like that, considering their current status now.

He thought back to the time he confessed to her despite knowing that he wouldn't receive any feeling of reciprocity, and remembered giving Elaine his treasured star pin as a romantic symbol of love, for he didn't have anything else to give her. But then he remembered Elaine's thrilled grin as she put the star pin on her jacket, and later that week she gave him a different pin representing a violet crescent moon made with amethyst with a white outline made from nacre. The pin is something she made with her own two hands, which threw any feelings of expected rejection out the window.

Arthur fingered the moon pin in question on his vest. Taking it off briefly, he turned the pin to see the back and looked at the four little stones, a black tourmaline, a black jet, a turquoise, and a rose quartz pressed inwards. He then saw the words engraved among them...

Arthur placed the pin back on, smiling slightly. Despite his many flaws, and the many secrets and guilt he hides, there is someone that loves him, and that is enough. With his current family, he knew that he can finally heal, one day at a time.

You are okay. This is your life now. Live for the twins. Defy those who wanted your life to end, and live on. You matter to someone, and they need you. You are okay.

He decided to stop reminiscing once again and went back to work. He had to dismantle the engine to find the crack on the head gasket, repair it, then put it back together before it's put back in the car itself. Apparently, the more wealthy regulars Four of a Kind Queens get every now and then prefer to just pay for the more expensive repair than purchase a new car entirely. He could think of two things, which is either one, they really really like that car, or two, buying a new car just isn't worth the hassle. He figured he could understand the second part, but still, either option is expensive.

Arthur thought a part went missing and glanced around briefly to look for Galahad, then reminded himself that the hamster wouldn't be going around stealing screws anymore. Even though it has been a little over a year ago, little Gally had passed away about a month after Arthur and Elaine were married due to old age, which devastated Arthur greatly. He knew it was coming since hamsters like Galahad have a lifespan of three years at the known max, but it still hurt when it actually happened.

He remembered Elaine being thoughtful enough to give Galahad a small burial, unusual it may have been. As the ground back then was too frozen to dig a small grave, Elaine instead took an oak sapling and carefully wrapped the deceased hamster, wheels and all, within the roots, then planted the tree in a large flower pot. Once spring came, she then planted the sapling itself alongside many other small trees in Vivienne's backyard, letting Galahad return to nature. He then remembered thanking her for her effort, knowing that it helped him move on from Galahad's passing.

With the twins being a higher priority, Arthur didn't get another hamster after Galahad. Maybe when the twins are older.

The work with dismantling the engine done, Arthur glanced at the baby monitor, and saw that the twins were still asleep, although Gwen is occasionally twitching her arms. Maybe she's dreaming? He hoped it wasn't a nightmare before wondering briefly if babies could get nightmares. Hopefully not, because he didn't want to fail the twins before they were old enough to remember things.

Arthur shook his head and chuckled at his daughter's movement, “Always the active one, aren't you, Gwen?”

Percy is usually the quiet one, only crying when he needed something. Gwen, on the other hand, is almost always active, babbling whether it's night or day, and crying at random intervals. Arthur didn't mind it most of the time, since tending to her usually distracted him from any nightmares he would wake from in the middle of the night, although he did wonder how Percy could sleep past Gwen's crying when a mere creak on the floor is enough to wake him.

Then again, babies are unpredictable.

Later that day, after finishing up the repair of the engine, Arthur went to clean himself up before tending to the twins. Elaine wouldn't be home until later tonight, so he had to make up for her absence. The twins had been fed and tended to by Elaine's grandmother Vivienne while he was working, which he is grateful for. Being a parent is no easy task, and Arthur knew it. Having Elaine's family help out every now and then has been a godsend, especially considering how close-knit they are. They all lived nearby, while Vivienne lived in the auto shop itself. It made sense, since she's the current matriarch of the Knights family and the owner of the repair shop itself.

“Hey, Arthur,” the old woman turned to him when he reached the living room, holding a somewhat squirming Gwen, “Everything turn out okay?”

“There's a crack in the main gasket like you said,” Arthur placed his good hand on the back of his neck, “We can replace the part, but it'll take all day to put everything back together after that once the part arrives. I already sent the report to Morgan, so hopefully we can get the repair done by the end of the week. Where's Percy?”

“He's still asleep,” Vivienne nodded to the direction of the guest bedroom where their crib is before looking down at Gwen, who stared at her father, “This one was getting a little fussy. I think she wants you now.”

Arthur let out a small smile before taking his daughter from his grandmother-in-law. The baby girl immediately cooed and tried to reach upward. He held out a finger from his left hand for Gwen to take, and she held it with both her hands.

“If this doesn't prove that you're a good father, I don't know what will,” Vivienne said as she used her phone to take a picture of the father and daughter, “I remember you being so nervous before they were born.”

Arthur didn't reply at first, instead focusing on his baby girl. Sitting down on the sofa nearby, he held Gwen close to let her hear his heartbeat, “I still am, to be honest,” he shifted his gaze over to Vivienne, and saw her using her phone to take more pictures, “You're not going to post those, are you?”

“Of course not!” Vivienne grinned impishly, although a concerned tone betrayed her mood, “You'd never let me take a picture of you if I did. I know you're camera shy in more ways than one, Arthur.”

“I just... I don't want them to find me, you know?” he rubbed a thumb over Gwen's cheek, “I had to get away from them. If they find out that I'm here, I don't know what they'll do.”

Vivienne lowered her phone before placing a hand on Arthur's left shoulder, “I know. You did a good thing to get away from an abusive relationship, and your scars are healing, just keep using the ointments like the doctor said and before you know it, they'll fade away. I still remember the first time we saw them when we first actually talked. Remember the look on Elaine's face? She looked like she was about to maim someone when she found out.”

Arthur narrowed his eyes, trying not to smile. He did remember his first conversation with Vivienne, at how he had to leave home and was looking for a motel to sleep at, and had let slip that he had to leave a friendship that soured, which made Vivienne call it an abusive relationship instead. Arthur isn't sure if what he had with Lewis and Vivi should be considered abusive, but he didn't know what else to describe it. They didn't want him, Lewis would inflict those injuries on him when they were alone, and he felt isolated, so he left without telling anyone. That's all there is to it.

Arthur knew Vivi wouldn't hurt him on purpose, but he didn't want to take any chances with harming her love for Lewis, and thus suffer the wraith's vengeful temper. He had already taken away her and Lewis's chance at having a normal life after getting possessed in that cavern, and being with them even after they reunited and sorted out the facts only made things awkward. To Arthur, he didn't deserve anything from them anymore after the events at the cavern. Even though Lewis's murder was done unwillingly, it is the sort of thing that would gnaw at one's soul, throbbing the heart with pain and suffering.

Yet, Arthur endured, too afraid to end it all. He could only run away, much to his self disgust.

Elaine and her family didn't pursue the matter any further when Arthur asked them not to, wanting to leave it behind him and move on, or so he claims. Otherwise, he didn't know how else to cope with the fear of being found and hurt by them again.

It didn't take much to convince Vivienne that Arthur had nowhere to go, so she let him work in the family business, even though they didn't have any official openings, so he would have a way to pay rent for a small apartment she found for him (how she found it at such short notice, Arthur had no idea). The rest of the family except for Elaine were skeptical at letting a complete stranger work for them, but since Vivienne is the matriarch, what she says goes.

Now, if anything, Elaine is too good for him. She's too trusting, and Arthur wondered more than once at what exactly did she see in him, and why did the Knights family accept him so easily even though he was a complete stranger to them. He had a hard time believing that they would work so hard to help him, a stranger, get back on his feet.

...Why?

Arthur didn't get an answer until he heard his son cry from the guest bedroom. He shook his head in slight amusement before standing up, “I'll go get him. Could you hold Gwen for me in the meantime?”

“Of course,” Vivienne took the baby girl to her arms, “I'm always looking forward to being able to hold my great-grandkids.”

As Arthur went over to the guest bedroom to take Percy out of the crib, he felt a tightening feeling in his chest. Holding his son close, Arthur knew why he felt so guilty.

Holding Percy with one arm, he held a hand over his face to keep himself from breaking down. He hated the fact that he had to leave Tempo, the place he was always familiar with, to escape the pain and suffering he knew he would cause.

He wondered how the Mystery Skulls are faring for a moment before immediately shaking the thought out the window.

Wiping the tears from his eyes, Arthur cuddled Percy protectively, positioning his son's head to his chest so he could allow the small babe to hear his heartbeat like he had with Gwen. For some reason, the twins always liked it, and it usually kept them calm. Humming the song he learned so many years ago, Percy was lulled back to sleep.

Elaine often complained at how Arthur was better at soothing the twins than her, prompting him to point out that she's better at feeding and changing them than he is.

Thinking back, he took a deep breath to ease the guilt away. Lance will never be able to love the twins as their grand uncle. If everything hadn't gone so wrong, then maybe Vivi and a living Lewis could dote on them, too...

Even though Arthur left the Mystery Skulls, and by extension Tempo, he still cared about them. Although he didn't want to go back, he can't just forget all the memories he built with them.

It's his punishment for leaving.

- - - - - - -

Notes: Who do you think is wrong?

Hamsters usually don't live past two and a half years, so Galahad probably broke a record or two.

Also, the drawing in this chapter is actually the first one I made for Knights. Here, I was trying to stick to the original style as much a possible, which is why I drew Arthur’s hand with four fingers. However, it is really hard for me to do that since it looks so alien every time I draw it, so I gave up and started drawing everyone with five fingers after that.

Knights Part 5

#msa knights #msa fanfic #mystery skulls animated #fanfic #arthur kingsmen #msa arthur

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google-searchhistory-official · 2 years ago

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Pepsi Caleb Grimm is a cursed and awful creature. He is a monster with a fragmented and broken soul. His is demonic in nature, barely human, mostly empty and fully monstrous. The void keeps him from eternal death and gives him form anew whenever death claims him. He remembers the pain each time, his death is never pleasant, he passively bans himself from any afterlife. When he dies he does not leave, his soul remains as a ghost and is called to his rotting and frozen corpse. When he repossesses it he feels it's immense hunger, it's invisible radiation sickness, it's familiar emptiness. There is no peace to be found for this unholy bastard. His past only he remembers for it was changed. He lives having no family to fall upon, his sister was erased from all existence and his parents never had him. Despite this he still has memories of them that even his creations remember. He was in an endless cycle of suffocation and revival for uncountable years, much longer than any estimate for the universe's lifespan. Despite this he is back in a similar universe only aged three years after he initially left. He refuses his instinct to eat or drink and stays on the edge of death while puppeteering his barely living corpse. His voice is dull and monotone, it is filled with the static of cosmic background radiation. His presence is unsettling due to much of this. He is eternal and much older than should be possible. All that comprises him should have been lost to atomic decay and the great crunch, yet he survived and existed in absolute nothing. He is outside of time and does not age past thirty, his memories are few but strong. His mind should have been broken and leave him an incomprehensible mess. Yet remains a strong semblance of sanity, an illusion only broken by his lack of self preservation. But again, he is an awful monster, who's to know how he's supposed to act? Oh by the way, a robot he's made put a robotic skeleton inside his own skeleton that forces him to move against his will, tears up his insides, and amps his regeneration to keep him alive. To some towns he is known as the crackling beast, his bones crack and joints pop as he resists the robot's orders to kill. He is nothing more than a test subject of a monster with no hope for anything better. And so he allows it, the pain and the torture. He only fights it to keep himself entertained with the pain inflicted upon him.

#wall of text #i don't know how to break it up to make it easier to read #but its pepsi so like. whatever

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godess-of-the-void · 7 years ago

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Numinetale Chapter 4

They group got the call from Mettaton that everything was ready at New Home Square. And before the Monsters blinked they were already there. Sans looked at VI who was still wearing her red punk outfit.

How much power does she have? I can't bring that many people through a 'shortcut', barely two others besides me! Yet she can bring this large group through one without breaking a sweat!

"Darlings! Over here!" Mettaton wheeled himself over to the group. "The stage is ready when you are! And may I say, love the puck rock look."

"Thank you Mettaton for your help. This will do quite nicely with braking the Barrier... The second time around." VI let out a sigh.

Mettaton patted the woman's shoulder, "Yes Everyone in New Home noticed that the Barrier was back. So how are we going to break it with a concert?"

"Mettaton! Mettaton!" VI wrapped her arm around the rectangular robot. "This is no ordinary concert. This is also a rematch between you and... Frisk!"

Frisk eyes lit up. They took out a pair of sunglasses out of their inventory and did a dramatic pose. They then snapped their fingers and asked for some MTT brand foods from Mettaton. You know, for ratings. Mettaton was happy to give the ambassador a Starfait and a Glamburger.

Toriel had a thoughtful look to her face. "This have something to do with SOULS growth, does it not?"

The woman giggled as she looked away from the young teen and gave the Monster Boss her full attention. "RUNE is also a video camera and will show live footage to the Surface while we are doing the show. Mettaton. We will do a warm-up with Blooky and me doing a instrumental duet." At the mentioned of his name, Napstablook appeared. "I have practice playing 'Spooktunes' with my guitar, if that's ok with you." Napstablook gave a sad looking wink and disappeared. "Then I'll sing a solo to heal and humans SOULS that is fractured to increase our chances of getting SOUL PARTICLES. Then the dance off. I will be playing my guitar during the rematch to set mood and to gather the Particles to the Underground. Any questions?"

"What are SOUL PARTICLES?" Mettaton asked.

"Napstablook! Are you set? I want to play with you before the concert to do sound check." Napstablook waved at VI from the stage. The strange woman joined the Ghost Monster. They started playing one of DJ's songs for the sound check.

Damn, they sound good! Even if it was a sound check with just a DJ turntable and a guitar, they were killing it.

Mettaton looked at his cousin with pride. But it was short lived when he remembered that no one answered his question. "What the hell are SOUL PARTICLES!?!"

***

Napstablook and VI finished their part and the plan seem to work. While VI didn't out staged the Ghost, in fact quite the opposite actually. She have the whole stage to the DJ and played mainly back up. But it was enough for some SOULS, both Monster and a few Humans, appeared over the stage.

They joined the others, "Hey, Mettaton. How's the ratings?"

The robot was ecstatic! "This little RUNE sweetheart is the best! I must have Alphys make a replica. If only we had him three years ago. Our ratings just started but a good amount of them are from the Surface!"

VI smiled and lifted her guitar, "Cleft Sharp. Lime Light. Activate." Red Electric changed to a green pop singer costume with cat ears and tail. Her guitar changed to a microphone. She returned to the stage. Her voice was strong and beautiful.

Her song was sad and uplifting. Even though it didn't seem to make sense why the song have a happy tune, there was saddness to it. The lyrics had a rhythm and flow of enthusiasms.

Muster up your courage, child

And gather your determination

You've still got a fight to win

Your journey isn't over yet

Someday I'll forget the pain of

Living in eternal darkness

Hopes and dreams will save the world

And you will be the one to do it!

VI kept singing. SOULS of the Surface and Underground was being healed. They even glowed with brighten light.

Just know, baby, I'm sorry

To put an end to our story

I know someday you'll find a way back home.

So dry your eyes, no time to cry,

Just go and save the world!

Everyone in the Underground and on the Surface felt their SOULS grew.

Muster up your courage, child

And gather your determination

You've still got a fight to win,

Your journey isn't over yet.

Though I hate to say goodbye,

I'm glad I learned to love again

I'll be gone, but you'll live on,

Just say you will.

As VI wrapped up the song not a single eye was dry. She stepped down from the stage and winked at Frisk and Mettaton. "You guys are ready?" Frisk gave a thumbs up after wiping a tear from their face. VI changed back to her Red Electric form. Mettaton also changed to his other form.

VI was the first to the stage and started to play 'Death by Glamour.' Frisk was next waving at the crowd and the RUNES followed by Mettaton Ex. The two friends struck a dramatic pose and smiled. For every heel turn they struts their stuff.

The dance was epic. And everytime the ratings dipped Frisk did an impressive pose while taking a bit out of the Glamburger or Starfait. The two swirled, dipped, and sway in extraordinary timeing and grace. But Frisk was wearing out. So the brought out of their inventory a MTT Facesteack. The ratings where off the grid and the air above the stage was filled with cartoon heart shaped SOULS of many colors and white.

VI looked above her to count the number of SOULS there and was pleased to see that she now have more than enough for bringing back the dead and breaking the Barrier.

***

Mettaton and Napstablook was playing music and dancing on stage while VI was collecting SOUL backstage. VI was contently giggling to herself, "One of each color and a Boss SOUL for the Barrier. And another one of each color with a Boss Mon-"

"You idiot! Stop! Right! Now!" VI looked at the flower with a questioning nit on her brow. "And stop looking at me like that!"

VI giggled, "Flowery, why don't you want a SOUL?"

Flowery's face puffed up, "It's not that I don't want a SOUL. It's that I don't want to give everyone false hope. Besides even if you do brought Asriel back there is the issue with Chara!"

VI scratched Flowery behind one of his petals, "I think being around so many SOULS have made a SOULESS plant have empathy." VI got up at walked back to gather more SOULS.

Color formed under Flowery's eyes, "Hey! Get back here! Idiot! You aren't even listening to me are you?" Frisk joined Flowery and asked if he was alright. "No! I am not alright! I don't want to give everyone's hopes and dreams to shatter... AGAIN!"

Flowery felt a weight of someone sitting next to him, "i can relate, bud. the unknown can be scary. losing hope is terrible. but sometimes you just have to be there, doing all that you can. sometimes you have to believe that everything is going to be alright, petals."

Flowery faced the short skeleton. He knew what he was saying. Even though Sans himself was in a dark place, he still stand tall for his loved ones. Even if it was pretend, Flowery knew. The souless plant wrapped Sans with his vines. Sans'body tensed up but only for a moment before he realised that Flowery was hugging him.

****

This will work. It has to work! Flowery was right to be concerned about Chara. This is a dangerous game I am playing.

VI was a giggling mess. All the Monster SOULS in the Underground equals to on human SOUL. Not only should the Barrier break from seven SOULS and a Boss Monster Soul, but that rule should apply also to Asriel. Easy Pesy. But what Flowery said about Chara hit her hard. And she can't stop her annoying giggling!

"VOID HUMAN! WHAT IS WRONG! YOU SEEM TO BE NERVOUS!" The taller skeleton was behind her with Undyne and Alphys.

VI smiled at the trio of friends in front of her, "Nervous, nonsense!"

"Y-you ju-just giggled..." Alphys looked at the woman. "Y-you gi-giggle when y-you are ner-nervous."

"And don't even try to deny it! I have be with my bae for to long to not notice a nervous tick!" Undyne glared at VI, "Now spill your guts, Punk!"

Alphys waved her arms at her girlfriend nervously, "U-UNDYNE! Y-you ca-can't be forceful. B-but she is r-right ab-bout your ne-nervous tick."

Sans probably noticed as well, but have more tack not to say even a pun about it...

"Guys. I think Sans is more important than my tick right now." Papyrus looked at VI with curiosity, "Papyrus, when was the last time Sans made a pun?"

Papyrus' eyes bulged out and he started to run to where he saw Sans last. Everyone followed him. The Dreemers saw them rushing somewhere and decided to go with the group. They found Sans, wrapped in vines and a teenager's arms. All three of them with tear stains on their faces.

VI sat behind the skeleton. "Well, I am truly not helping your PTSD." Sans made a noise with his non-existent throat.

"Wh-what do you m-mean PTSD? As in po-post tr-traumatic s-stress disorder?" Alphys looks at Sans with worry and guilt in her eyes. "S-sans, wh-why you didn't t-tell a-anyone?"

VI groaned, "Sorry, Sans. I take it you didn't tell them everything about the Resets."

"tibia honest, I didn't thought it was such a bonehead of a move to keep some of the Resets a secret." Sans winked.

"You don't fool me, I see right through you!" VI elbowed Sans' ribs. "You're just a boney phoney with no guts to tell anyone anything. Now everyone has a bone to pick with you."

"you really know how to get under my skin, don't you." Toriel and Frisk tried to hold back their laughter while everyone else was groaning but smiling. Sans and VI did a little staring contest before Sans got up, "fine! but only if the kid and flower helps me tell them about the Genocide Runs."

Flowery unwrap his vines from Sans body, "Deal!" Frisk not only agreed but shook Sans hand. The three told their friends everything.

***

"I-I d-don't like it! N-not one bit!" Alphys was cross about the dangers of ripping a demonic spirit of a human's body.

Toriel was deviated. One of her children is a SOULESS plant, another is a vengeful ghost, and the other possessed by said vengeful ghost. And all three are murderers. Papyrus was crestfallen that his brother was still keeping things from him. Algore felt the story was very ironic that his children killed, but felt their actions were more justified then his.

Undyne, who always seem to headbutt her way through any problem was the first to asked, "Now what?"

VI got off the ground and dusted herself off, "Time to bring back the dead!" She activated another form, this time she looks like a cross from a mad scientist and a phantom of the Opera. Behind her was a pipe organ. "This form is called Purple Keys. This can formulate or make concentrations of Souls. For example mixing one of each color of human SOULS and one Boss SOUL can either break the Barrier or change Flowery back to Asriel."

VI put the gathered SOULS in the little drawers attached to the pipes. "Or combining seven SOULS of DETERMINATION with a Boss SOUL can, in theory, will drive Chara out of Frisk's body. They will absorb the concentrated SOUL and the will to live will be so strong it will form a new human body."

She moved Flowery to a spot in front of the organ, "Don't worry Flowery. If Chara goes all Genocide, Sans will Karmic Retribution their ass."

"Most likely their be a Hyper Goner." Smirked the flower. Frisk just asked Flowery if that was a pun. "Yes, yes it was."

VI started to play on the keys. The Boss Monster SOUL glowed brightly as it was absorbing the human SOULS. Flowery still in position looked at the Boss SOUL with DETERMINATION. The Boss SOUL now filled out by the human SOULS started to move to the spot the flower was rooted. With tears in his eyes, he claimed the new SOUL.

A bright flash of light filled the area. A little goat child stands where the flower used to be. Asriel looked at his parents and hugged them with all his might. Frisk and the skeleton brothers joined in when Asriel waved them over. A defening roar of cheers appeared out of nowhere!

"Darlings! I am so sorry, but I had to use RUNE to broadcast what you all was up to." The robot explained with RUNE hovering over him.

VI marched over to Mettaton, "How dare you use my RUNE to broadcast a touching moment!" VI grabbed the metal star by the neck and whispered, "How much did you broadcast? How is the ratings? How could I have forgotten RUNE! I am so proud of you!"

A glint appeared in the robot's eyes as he whispered back, "The ratings are sky high! Everyone from here to the Surface was watching, is watching! And I started broadcasting long before Sans, the flower, and Ambassador Frisk confessed to the Genocide Runs."

VI returned to her companions, "We are not out of the woods yet! We still have Chara to bring back! In case they are planning to go Genocide on us, we better brace ourselves!"

Frisk stand at the same spot as Flowery stood. VI placed seven SOULS of DETERMINATION and the Boss SOUL in the drawers in the pipes. VI gave everyone a thumbs up. The Boss Monsters conjured their weapons and magic. Even Asriel conjured his Chaos Blades, preparing for the worse. VI played on the pipe organ. Again the Boss SOUL absorb the human SOULS, but this time the Monster SOUL have changed to a human SOUL.

The red SOUL became bright flash and a red haired child in a green and yellow sweater stepped out of the light. "Hey, Partner." They looked at the Monsters that are ready for battle. "I am not going to do anything. Don't get me wrong, I still hate humans. But, Partner, you did what Ariel and I never could. You freed the Monsters and lived in peace with the humans for three whole years." Chara hugged Frisk, "Thank you for bringing my family back."

***

My daughter is doing well I think. But there will be problems. I will make sure of that. Let's bring in more friends into the mix.

#undertale #vi #void #story #numinetale

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reginaldqueribundus · 5 years ago

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what is a Star Wars?

@originaljediinjeans replied to your post “what is a Star Trek?”

Is there a post like this for Star Wars because I need it!

Star Wars is about humans and aliens flying around space making wisecracks and shooting at each other and exists primarily to make people argue on the internet. It takes place in a faraway galaxy where pretty much anyone gets to have a robot and a spaceship and a ray gun but the whole place gets torn apart every couple of decades in massive wars started by two tribes of space wizards, one of which is Good but very stupid, and the other is Evil™ and obsessed with giant death lasers and fascism. Available jobs are space wizard, bounty hunter, Nazi, snarky pilot, royalty, or foot soldier who gets killed in the crossfire. For a really long time there was a Republic, but then for awhile there was an Empire, then a Republic again but people constantly try to bring the Empire back forever. This one wizard family in particular keeps fucking things up for everybody and then trying to fix it.

Star Wars comes in three main flavours and a few smaller ones:

Original Flavour (episodes 4-6): the original three Star Wars movies from the 80s. Space fascists have built a giant flying ball that kills planets. A rebel princess with giant cinnamon buns for hair gets a diagram of the ball and wants to blow it up but she gets caught by a cyborg with asthma so she gives the diagram to two robots: a garbage can who just beeps and a gay one who translates everything the trash can says. They get mugged by tiny people in hoods and sold to a twink who lives on a farm in the desert. He takes the robots to see a crazy old hobo who gives him a laser sword and tells him to learn space magic. The twink is reluctant but gives in after the fascists turn his aunt and uncle into skeletons. They hire a getaway driver and his friend Bigfoot to take them to the princess’s planet but it got blown up so they rescue her from the Planet Killing Ball and blow it up. The hobo turns into a ghost so the twink learns magic from a weird little goblin who lives in a swamp. Then he finds out the cyborg is his dad but evil, they meet the suavest man in the galaxy who is mayor of a floating city and find out their getaway driver owes a ton of money to the boss of the giant slug mafia. A gross old man tries to get the twink to be evil but he just wants to bond with his dad while his friends fuck around in the woods with some teddy bears. The space death ball comes back but they blow it up again and the princess fucks their getaway driver because the twink was her brother all along.

Greenscreen Flavour (eps 1-3): the 3 prequel movies from 20 years ago. we meet the evil cyborg before he was evil or a cyborg and just an annoying little kid in a bowl cut who likes to drive in DEATH RACES. He meets a teenage queen with an even more ridiculous haircut and saves her planet from an army of robots. The Good space wizards kidnap him and turn him into a child soldier because they think he is the Chosen One but then he grows up and gets hot and starts boning the queen who is now a space politician. He turns evil and the creepy old man seduces him (eww) by telling him fairy tales at the opera. The hobo is younger and hotter and looks like Jesus and says “hello there” and he tries to make the boy into a Good wizard but he fucks it all up and they fight in a volcano. There’s a bunch of other wild shit with a ninja wizard who looks like Satan and more robot armies and an army of clones comes out of nowhere to fight the robots and there are Politics and Christopher Lee. Eventually the old man tricks everyone into doing fascism so he can murder all the Good wizards and wear robes with big hoods all the time.

Disney Flavour (eps 7-9): the newest 3 movies. 30 years after the originals the princess has a dumbass incel son who works for these neo-nazis led by a corpse in a gold bathrobe and a ginger who screams all the time and they built a planet that kills other planets. The princess tries to fight them, the getaway driver is fucking around in space with bigfoot and the twink fucked up so bad he ran off to an island of oompa-loompa nuns to milk dinosaur tiddies. One of the bad guys’ foot soldiers switches sides because he is gay for a pilot who works for the princess. They run away together and meet a random scavenger girl who later turns out to be the creepy old man’s granddaughter and all three of them help blow up the killer planet. The incel kills his dad and the scavenger cuts his face off but later they start magic-Skyping somehow and maybe want to bone?? The good guys spend a whole movie getting chased around by the bad guys while the ex-soldier and a janitor trash a casino and the scavenger tries to get the twink to please teach her some space magic but he just mopes around until she gets bored and runs off to see the incel but he sucks too so she gets the princess to teach her instead. The goblin’s ghost shows up, tells the twink he’s a failure and sets his treehouse on fire, so the twink astral projects across the galaxy just to mess with his nephew. Then it turns out the old man was behind it all so they kill him again.

Anthology Flavour (the Star Wars Story movies): there are two other prequels from a few years ago. “Solo” is all about how the getaway driver became a getaway driver and met his friend bigfoot and stole his crappy ship from a poker player who fucks robots. “Rogue One” is about a scrappy girl whose dad built the giant space laser ball which was powered by crystals, and she teams up with a sexy terrorist and a space trucker and a blind guy and his husband and a robot cop who got hacked into working for the good guys, so they can steal the blueprints to the laser ball so someone else can blow it up in a different movie. They all definitely live happily ever after!!

Buffet Flavour (Legends): hoo boy where to BEGIN. There are a shit ton of books and comics, but a lot of them came out in the 90s and take place after the original trilogy. The princess has more kids who aren’t all dumbasses and she tries really hard to make democracy stick while learning space magic. A Smug Blue Asshole shows up and tries to psychoanalyze everyone by mansplaining their own culture to them. The twink finally gets a girlfriend and tries to start his own space wizard school but fucks it up by building it on a haunted graveyard and an evil ghost messes with his students until one of them steals a ship that blows up suns. Everyone keeps trying to build giant lasers and the fascists are hanging around harassing everyone. Later a shit ton of space orcs who are immune to space magic show up and try to kill everyone with organic technology. Then Mickey Mouse came along and dunked the whole thing in the trash, but luckily you can still read it!

Extra Flavour Packets (Star Wars The Clone Wars and Star Wars Rebels): animated shows released through the late 2000s and 2010s. In TCW, during the big robots-vs.-clones war the Chosen One gets his own child soldier to keep as a pet and they hang out with Young Hobo Jesus and the goblin and Bald Black Wizard Guy. They have many adventures getting to know their clones, fighting Christopher Lee and his pet goth chick and a bionic weed whacker whose name literally means “bad” and somehow never figuring out the old man is behind it all. Then 20 years later (in Rebels) a kid with blue hair meets a student space wizard who survived the big wizard purge and they go on adventures with a green lady pilot and a punk warrior graffiti artist and a different bigfoot and a robot who is an Asshole. They fly around the galaxy trying to convince people to fight oppression and outwit the Smug Blue Asshole. Throughout it all there is a goofy space pirate who wants to be everyone’s friend and maybe steal their wallets, and the ninja demon guy who got chopped in half keeps coming back as well. There is another one called Star Wars Resistance (it has pilots) but I haven’t seen that one.

Dusty Flavour (The Mandalorian): the only live-action show! This one is still going. 5 years after the original movies a grouchy mercenary from a tribe of jetpack warriors who never take their cool helmets off bcuz religion finds a baby goblin wizard and decides he is going to take care of it. Every bounty hunter in the entire galaxy chases him but he is so cool he keeps going and makes friends with a pig man and a war veteran who can literally kill you but the space fascists are still hanging around and they want the baby for some reason.

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As with Star Trek, there are many, many, so many people who will tell you which flavours are Bad. Just try each one for yourself, and you can find out which one you like! Just…just don’t watch the holiday special.

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