#ace is always valid

[starchilddante]

Tori is really precious to me because while I love seeing that aroace representation (cause yall deserve it <3) Tori is the first character I've ever seen be cannonically ace without being aro.

It does often feel like it's assumed the two can not be separated. That you can't have love without sex, or sex without romance even. Even though I'm an ace person who occasionally enjoys sexual things, it doesn't change the fact that I'm ace, and that can be a scary thing sometimes. Feeling like no one will stay because sex is supposedly one of the defining factors for a romantic relationship. I can't imagine how much even more scary that must feel to ace folks who don't like or are repulsed by sex. There is love without sex, and Tori is such a comfort to me in my own ace and queer journey, however confusing and scary it can be at times.

Anyway, this is just a Tori love post. There's a lot of great things about her, but her representing those of us from the aspec community who are only aro or only ace is just really validating.

[burnttoastlife]

Narumitsu is funny because I think it’s the only ship in the world where I CANNOT imagine them changing last names. I can’t even entertain the idea. It feels wrong

[donnieisaprettyboy]

asexual and aromantic people are always a welcome part of my queer community

[broodwoof]

probably obvious to everyone/not worth even saying, but i am gonna gently point out that writing lucanis having sexual relationships is not like... remotely acephobic

he's written as demisexual, specifically

[orion-somethings]

Fun fact!

Yeah Min’s Aroace! And if you don’t like that..

THEN GET OFF MY BLOG!

Everyone on the ace-spec IS and ALWAYS WILL BE VALID‼️

[hollow-keys]

🔥 back at you

The "What if love was banned?" trope... annoys me. Firstly, it's usually often as an excuse to have two straight, white, etc people be ~oppressed~ because they're not allowed to love each other instead of... actually telling marginalised people's stories. Like gay people, interracial couples, etc.

Secondly, it shows absolutely no awareness of aro/ace people who are actually minorities for not loving (at least in the normative fashion). In fact, not experiencing love is often framed as soulless. So they're just positioning allos, a group that is privileged in the real world, as oppressed for being ~normal~ and aro/ace people as privileged and heartless instead of actually telling marginalised people's struggles. It's right below "character who previously didn't experience attraction learns to love to show they're becoming more human" in most annoying allo tropes 2 me.

[fake-geek-girl-616]

This is a minor thing, but how freaking cute is it that Roger let Shanks wear both of his hats (especially that one time when he wore them at the same time)?

That's absolutely adorable. Roger was a good dad.

[starchilddante]

You know, I honestly get really stressed about having to constantly explain to people that being ace doesn't mean you don't enjoy sexual acts, whether that be by yourself or with a partner.

Like, bro, I said I'm asexual, not celibate.

You don't get to invalidate my ace experience because I own adult toys or becsuse someone has sex with a partner. Ace is ALWAYS valid.

"Oh, you like that person? Are you SURE? How do you know you're allo? What if your ace and you don't even KNOW? Have you ever tried being ace???"

See how silly that sounds?

Iike bruh. I'm ace. Deal with it.

[professorjirt]

LOSING MY MIND AT HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE SAYING BILBO IS ACE. BILBO BAGGINS NUMBER ONE ACE REPRESENTATION OF ALL TIME BABYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[neverendingford]

hardwood comb project

I forgor to buy a lighter colored wood for the spine/core so I can't keep working on it tonight cause all I've got is the walnut.

[snaggletoothedbastard]

i know this is a thing that Literally Everyone says, but some people really do need to stop viewing their personal headcanons as Facts.

[trailmixtime]

attended some discussion about asexuality this week and it was just so nice :]

[aroacesafeplaceforall]

I just wanted to say thank you because you blog is so fucking positive and informative and just such a good resource for aspec people :)

Thank you so much <3 I strived to help as many as I can because no one helped me and I wish you all the very best in discovering yourself <3

[ceilidhtransing]

It's so good to go through the Ace Week tag and read everyone's different experiences with asexuality and other ace-spectrum identities.

What's particularly interesting to me is when people talk about having had really long and difficult journeys realising they were ace - because for me, it was pretty much instant. As an adolescent I never paid much attention to my sexuality, passively assuming I was some kind of late bloomer, dreading the apparent inevitability that at some point I would have to have sex but rationalising that since everyone does it and everyone likes it then some day I'd feel the same (or at least have to put up with it, because what other option is there), until one day an acquaintance casually mentioned asexuality in conversation. From this first hearing of the word to me fully identifying as ace was about 1-2 days. It was like switching on a light. The fact that I'm ace was just so obvious and unavoidable, and as soon as I heard that what I already felt had A Word and was actually recognised as A Thing, that was it, I knew that was me. Seven and a half years later, that's still how I feel.

So I guess what I want to communicate - aside from just adding one more perspective and experience to the communal discussion that happens every October - is that it's entirely OK if the realisation of your sexuality comes not after a lengthy, agonising process of self-reflection, but rather very quickly after first hearing that a word exists. Your identity feeling so obvious and unquestionable that it required almost zero period of questioning doesn't make it any less real or valid or accurate than an identity reached after years of uncertainty and scrutiny. I think sometimes in the queer community we talk about long, slow realisations more than we talk about these lightbulb "oh, right, that's me" moments, but the latter definitely happen too (as does everything in between!) and you're absolutely valid no matter what journey you took to reach your identity.

[leikeliscomet]

When it comes to asexual allyship a lot of people wanna have their cake and eat it too (pun unintended). People like a lil 'aces are valid' moment but don't actually unpack compulsory sexuality. People see sexless queer representation and always clock puritanism before they ever clock asexuality. No one's actually reading the ace theory and texts coming out. Everyone keeps doing surprised Pikachu faces whenever a conservative or TERF says they're against asexuality despite the fact ace activists have been saying since day conservatives are not anti sex but anti sexual autonomy. 'Aces are queer' until we actually are. Even ace support posts keep ending with some expectation or condition that asexuality is #valid as long as asexuals still perform a small quota of sex/sexual activity. I'm so over 'Aces still have sex!' 'Aces are hot' Aces are sexy' 'Aces aren't virgin vanilla prude sexless puritans!' disguised as support.

Like no. Sorry. Until you accept that some asexual people's no is permanent, that some asexual's singleness is permanent, that some asexual's childless-ness is permanent, that some asexuals are the 'no' in little to no sexual attraction and i'd say most importantly, that queer sexlessness isn't a biological, social or moral failing, I don't believe you'll ever genuinely support asexuality. (In reverse, I also feel similar about aromanticism and romance).

Like a lot of u haven't gone beyond 'the a isn't for ally' and it shows. I don't want people to support asexuals just because we're soooo hot or because we write the best smut apparently or because we could have hypothetical sex or because we could do hypothetical kink or because our minds are soooo dirty actually or because we'd do romance reallllyyyy well or because we can still have kids or because asexuals hand out water bottles at the orgy or some shit. I want people to support asexuality because no sexuality is deviant and it's basic human decency.

EDIT: U lot really like this post huh. Well it's blown up again and the point's been lost so let's wrap that up:

'But op, some asexuals DO have sex/I'm an acespec that has sex/I'm a non asexual person what about meeee :(' pt 2, pt 3

'There's asexual studies OP??/Where's the asexual studies OP?'

EDIT 2: Yeah I'm locking this one up until u lot get better reading comprehension. If you genuinely, unironically, deadass believe this post is anti-sex favourable, anti-demi, anti-grey, pro-gold star/black stripe ace or even TERF rhetoric for saying asexuals don't need to have sex to be supported as human beings then compulsory sexuality has a done an absolute number one you. Read asexual theory. Look at the follow up posts I'm so tired of repeating myself.

[adulthumanproblem]

*sigh*

Implying that trans and other queer people DO something?

Also, that's not the defining feature of all of us, and many of us do fuck, and a lot, actually

Hating asexual people is the most bizarre fucking thing to do. Like there are so many things you could be hating on and I don't care how long your list of things to hate is, what the fuck is your problem that you decide to be offended by the existence of people whose whole defining thing is that they're not doing anything and have no intention nor desire to be doing it in the future, either.