#adhd dissertation

[thatiranianphantom]

it used to be mine (but now it's yours)

“You ruined me.” 

He is supposed to be at the Ozdust with Glinda. That’s what he’d said, taciturn and without looking at her, during their sole interaction that day. 

He’s been like that with her, recently. Not that she’s ever thought of them as particularly close. Not friends, per se, just…two people united by their shared loved one. Two people, if she were being a bit more honest, with what seemed to be a constant, crackling energy between them she’d never been able to explain. 

Not since the lion cub…and that day at the swimming hole near the poppy farm. Sitting on the edge, watching the muscles ripple in his shoulders, filled her with this strange heat she’d never felt before. And then that night, around the fire, where his eyes kept catching hers, the light reflecting this strange gaze in them, something that looked like…longing. 

But it couldn’t have been, could it? Not for her. Entirely wishful thinking, something she had tried very hard to push down. Made easier by the fact that he seemed to be resolutely ignoring her lately. 

Not now, though. After he’d pounded on her door, he’s standing in the doorframe, eyes ablaze, chest heaving as if he’d run here straight from the docks. 

“You ruined me,” he tells her, and Elphaba is smart, one of the smartest in her class, thank you very much, but she cannot for the life of her figure out what he means. 

He blazes into the room, stepping immediately into her side of the huge suite. 

“Fiyero, shouldn’t you be at the Ozdust? With Glinda?” It hurts, it physically hurts to say, but it shouldn’t. He’s not hers. He will never be hers, and the moment with the lion cub…it was just that. A moment. 

Handsome princes don’t take up with antisocial green girls. He’ll marry, if not Glinda, someone equally beautiful and perfect, and she is not that girl. 

He gives a hard nod of his head. “That’s the point. I was supposed to be there. With Glinda. I was supposed to be there, Elphaba, not here!” 

Elphaba cocks her head, eyes narrowing. “Then…why are you here? An hour after you left, looking like you just ran all the way?”

He looks at her incredulously, as if she’s ridiculous for not knowing. “I told you, Elpaba! Because of you!” 

“Because of…me?”

He nods again, as if she’s finally getting it. “You! I was…” he breaks off, running a shaking hand through his hair. “I was fine! I found pretty girls, pretty guys, anyone I wanted! And it was always fine!”

“I don’t want to hear this.” She doesn’t, she really doesn’t. She has no urge to hear about all the people before, all the people there will be after, how easily it all comes to him.

“No!” he seizes her by her shoulders, and suddenly she’s gazing into blue eyes and her heart is pounding. 

“It was fine, Elphaba. I danced through life, and I never thought about it. I never thought…until I met you.”

If possible, her heart picks up more. Until I met you. 

“I met you, and I…now everything is different!” He drops her arms and she feels the lack of warmth suddenly, feels just the tiniest bit emptier. 

“I met you twice, two goddamn times, Elphaba, and you ruined me!” 

Fiyero paces, makes his way between Glinda’s section of the room and hers, and if it were any other time, perhaps she’d see the irony in it. As it is, his words turn over and over in her head. 

Until I met you. 

You ruined me. 

She doesn’t know why she does it, but she reaches out and grabs his hand. Like that day. Like the day things changed. 

It calms him a bit, and that releases something in her. He stares at their joined hands and is silent for long moments, so long that she thinks perhaps he’s done, perhaps he’d just leave and they’d never speak about this again. But then he gives her hand a little tug, and she tumbles the short distance towards him. His other hand lifts, tracing over her hairline, down her cheek, and she’s sure he can hear her heart by this point, how loud it’s pounding. 

“I don’t think about it anymore, Fae,” he whispers. “Any of it. Glinda, the Ozdust, that dance through life…I don’t see it anymore. I don’t see it, because all I see is you.”

[paintedpigeon1]

Are you an adult with ADHD and/or autism?

I’m currently doing a Master's dissertation about how to improve access to public library services for adults with ADHD and/or autism, and I need your input!

If you are over 18, have ADHD and/or autism (edit for clarity: no matter where you live), and would like to help with this, please fill in the survey below by midnight on 8 August 2024.

For more information please contact me on ruth.collard-stayte@city.ac.uk

Even if you're not eligible, please share this post so I can receive as many responses as possible!

(Also you don't want to disappoint the cute brain on the flyer do you?)

[yeonban]

I'm about to take a nap but my dissertation coordinator just started "grading" my latest draft and one of the comments on it was THIS 😭 ohhhhhh chat he wants to kick my ass so badly

[lazy-toad]

Does doing homework make anyone else feel like an animal stuck in a trap or is that something I should speak to someone about mayhaps

[mosswolf]

genuinely the biggest issue with writing this dissertation ive had is being too tired to focus on the screen enough to write. yesterday i was literally struggling to keep my eyes open it was so bad

[melancholyghoul]

Hello my dudes, been thinking about my dissertation for next year, one idea i have in mind is to do a study comparing results from adhd and/or autism questionnaires between those with a clinical diagnosis and those who are self-diagnosed/speculating - in order to show whether or not going undiagnosed is due to a lack of traits or a lack of resources

I have my hypothesis for what it is of course, but the subject seems interesting regardless

There's a possibility I could get published (i doubt it), if it did it could help push for better resources for the neurodivergent community here in the UK (at least that's my hope)

[louferrignojrofficial]

now i’m getting individual support from my university i have even more people to make sure i get my work done plus extra meetings and responsibilities 😃

the biggest upside though is that hopefully i can get someone to write me a letter to support my request for a deferral. but that may not happen until mid march and by then i should have submitted my dissertation draft and have completed my research anyways 😃😃

[ineedfairypee]

Did it! Done! Dusted!

[riversidewings]

How do I finish long-form (book-length) projects despite ADHD? I write drafts by hand first, like I did here in 2015 with my dissertation.

[orpheusbeheld]

Dilemma : caffeine is the only substance that calms the restlessness I feel when sitting still, but I'm also ridiculously sensitive to stimulants.

When I don't have a cup of tea (I can't tolerate coffee), my studying is punctuated by me losing focus every five seconds while also shaking my legs and fidgeting endlessly in my seat because I have never been good at either sustained attention or sitting normally in chairs

But when I do have caffeine there is about a fifty percent chance I will get panicky and jittery so...

[yeonban]

A testament to my ADHD is an academic journal posting on social media today about how they've just published another one of my research papers and I had to think long and hard about when I had even submitted that paper 🤕 cue my reaction in the best possible visual demonstration yet:

[sentientsky]

guess who actually remembered to take their adhd meds again?? ❤️🥰 (me!!) and guess who's totally 100% definitely going to work on actual stuff they need to get done and totally 100% definitely not go on a pharmaceutical-fueled, hyperfocused meta-analysis of crowley's expressions in the job minisode?? (me oh god i hope it's me pls i can't keep living like this it's been three fucking months)

[meljwrites]

No but that's actually so right. I remember seeing Shin Ling and Charlie and thinking it was so chaste. I think soaps have a habit of just having bad kisses for some reason in general and it especially looks bad when you see the gay couples (seriously some are like those bl series where they look like they're drowning mid kiss). Robron and Ben & Callum (sometimes) can be excluded for some reason. 😂

the chosen ones 🤣

i mean this is what happens when you have to film an episode a day, the quality suffers. What they really need to do is kiss like the first malec kiss, now THAT was life changing television. I literally have a shirt with it on

[lonewolflink]

me over the last 48 hours: let's prepare for our 2 day fly out interview/job audition thursday and friday!

my brain: ok but what if we wrote 80% of ch. 16 of hockey au instead, and barely got any sleep

me: NO STOP WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS

my brain: too late

[pondslime]

I love u adhd people and ur drive to make 8393837378383 different numbered and bulleted lists for the dumbest most niche shit that no one other than u, urself, care about

[ineedfairypee]

Final year feels

Let’s hope they last!