#advice for writing relationships

[creativepromptsforwriting]

Advice for writing relationships

Ship Dynamics

How to create quick chemistry

How to write a polyamorous relationship

How to write a wedding

How to write found family

How to write forbidden love

Introducing partner(s) to family

Honeymoon

Date gone wrong

Fluffy Kiss Scene

Love Language - Showing, not telling

Love Language - Showing you care

Affections without touching

Giving the reader butterflies with your characters

Reasons a couple would divorce on good terms

Reasons for breaking up while still loving each other

Relationship Problems

Relationship Changes

Milestones in a relationship

Platonic activities for friends

Settings for conversations

How to write a love-hate relationship

How to write enemies to lovers

How to write lovers to enemies to lovers

How to write academic rivals to lovers

How to write age difference

Reasons a couple would divorce on good terms

Reasons for having a crush on someone

Ways to sabotage someone else's relationship

Ways a wedding could go wrong

Arranged matrimony for royalty

Signs of a Toxic Relationship

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[lipikkawrites]

A lot will go wrong before everything goes right.

Keep moving forward.

-@lipikkawrites

[sk-lumen]

What a healthy, secure relationship looks like

He communicates consistently and clearly. Replies promptly, doesn't leave you on seen, checks up on you throughout the day/week according to his schedule and in agreement with your needs as well.

He pays attention to your needs and desires and quirks, and makes your life better using said details. Ie. buys your favorite kind of flowers, makes your favorite tea in the morning, remembers your food allergies when having dinner dates, etc.

Disagreements may still appear even in health relationships, and it's ok, as communication is essentual for a healthy dynamic. However, his approach to disagreements is a secure one: each will share their perspective, and if feelings were hurt or mistakes were made, he takes accountability for his side, and makes genuine apologies followed by reparations and direct actions (ie. "I'm sorry I did x, I didn't mean to hurt you. I will be/do y in the future", and then does as he promised).

Promises are kept. His actions are in alignment with his words, and he keeps his words. If he says he'll call you after work, he does. If he says he needs to cool off during an argument and will reopen the conversation in 1h, he does indeed return in 1h to continue the topic.

If you're anxious, he will reassure you and work through it. He doesn't run away or avoid the topic (as an avoidantly attached person would).

If you come forward communicating your needs, or sharing complaints or grievances, he will hear you out and actively seek a way to improve things. He won't freak out, or get angry or run away in response to you having needs or communicating your thoughts; these are normal relationship things you're entitled to, and a securely attached man knows this.

A man that is well-rounded, with a secure attachment style, will have a rich life of his own: hobbies, interests, circles of friends, activities, etc. He will enjoy having his independence and space, and will respect your need for your own. He is not co-dependent, nor gets in the way of you having your own life outside of him. He knows having individually rich lives is important for a healthy relationship. To expand on this, he encourages you to enjoy your selfcare time, your girl's night out, or whatever other activities nourish you.

[3hks]

How to Write SIBLING Relationships

If you're looking to write a sibling relationship but don't fully understand how a sibling relationship actually works, this is for you! As someone who has a younger brother, here are some points you'll want to consider when writing siblings!

Oldest, Middle, and Youngest

First, let's talk about the three types of siblings and explore their general roles, expectations, and characterization within a family!

*Oldest*

Starting with the oldest child, oftentimes, the eldest child is expected to act as the most responsible and as the role model. This doesn't mean they will go out of their way to set an example, but typically, no matter their personality and relationship with their younger siblings, they will have an innate sense of duty and protectiveness over their siblings. They want their siblings to enter the right path.

As the role model, the oldest child normally feels the most stress and anxiety, yet they also try not to show it to avoid worry from others. They highly value independence.

*Middle*

I'm sure you've heard of the jokes that the middle child is invisible child, and while those jokes are often exaggerated, the truth isn't terribly far off.

Between the eldest and youngest child, the middle child has a more difficult time standing out, which may lead to more reckless behavior for attention. They are characterized as more free-spirited and might act as a mediator between the youngest and oldest.

They will likely be more responsible and experienced than the youngest but can act similarly to the youngest.

*Youngest*

The youngest child can look like many things. Sometimes, you'll see the youngest is the most spoiled because they're the parents' favorite, and sometimes they're ignored because they have the least experience. Despite that, they have their fair share of pressures and burdens because they are often expected to meet, if not surpass, the achievements of their older siblings.

The General Dynamic

A sibling relationship differs from a typical friendship. They WILL find each other more annoying, but that doesn't mean they can't get along.

Siblings are also more honest and nit-pickier with each other. For example, if a friend changes the radio without asking, the character might not think too much of it. However, if their brother changes the radio without asking, then the character will likely feel irritated and call them out for it.

And when I say honest, I don't mean that they're super honest with each other emotionally, because that's not always the case. When I mean honest, I mean they're rather honest with each other at a surface, verbal level. They hardly hesitate to say their thoughts and can be pushy about them.

They will have an opinion on everything.

Personalities

If you've ever had some friends that have siblings, I'm sure that you're aware sometimes siblings can be similar and sometimes they're total opposites.

However, this doesn't mean that a pair of "opposite" siblings are ying and yang. While they may seem visibly different, such as fashion sense, and whether they're an introvert or extrovert, there are still shared traits that they hold. This is especially true if they're biological siblings and/or raised in the same environment together.

They influence each other, so there's bound to be some similarities in personality or values no matter how distinct each one is.

Love, Even If Unseen

No matter what, siblings love each other. They might not say it, they might not express it, or they might show it in a toxic and unhealthy way, but there's always an underlying sense of familial love. These are the people that your character has (or was supposed to) grown up with, after all.

There's going to be attachment, they will defend each other, even if they claim to hate the other.

Parents

Okay guys, now let's move on to parents and how they might play a part in sibling relationships!

*Comparisons*

Regardless of whether you have a sibling or not, you've likely experienced what it feels like to be compared to someone else. I'm not saying people with siblings have it worse, but they do have a wider range of people to be compared with.

It's not uncommon for parents to compare their children to each other, and it's not uncommon either for a child to compare themselves to their siblings. Sometimes, outsiders and/or distant family members will also compare the siblings, causing feelings of inferiority and envy.

When siblings have a poor relationship, it can sometimes be because of the parents.

*Fighting and Arguments*

Siblings fight and argue a LOT. However, you'd be mistaken if you thought a parent resolves all of these fights.

The truth is, after a certain age is reached, parents won't step in or resolve a fight unless it's right in front of them. They expect their children to be mature enough to solve their issues out, and honestly? They were tired of breaking up conflicts years ago.

Bonus point: yes, siblings can fight often, but the quarrels are usually forgotten pretty quick too. I've had several fights with my brother in which we were back to normal literally a few hours later the spat. Will I remember it for the next year? Absolutely. But do I care anymore? Not really.

Conclusion

This post may not apply to all siblings--everyone has different types of relationships--but here are some good points to start at!

TL;DR: The eldest sibling has the most responsibility, the middle sibling is a blend between the oldest and youngest and often strives for attention, and while the youngest sibling may look like they have it the easiest, they have their pressures too. Sibling relationship does not mimic a friendship, and they will have similar traits despite distinct personalities. They love and care for each other, even if it doesn't look that way. Having siblings sets up for many comparisons between them, and parents won't always resolve sibling spats.

I'll likely release some posts detailing how to write specific sibling relationships, so let me know if you want to see one in particular! Thank you for making it here!

Happy writing~

3hks <3

[luna-azzurra]

“Fake relationships that stopped being fake” prompts

✩ “Remember, we’re supposed to act like we’re in love.” - “Right. Sorry.” (said as they adjust your hair like you’re fragile glass)

✩ “The way you look at them isn’t very fake.” - “…shut up.”

✩ waking up in their bed—still pretending—and realizing this is the first time you’ve ever felt safe.

✩ at the “end” of the arrangement, they ask, “So… do we stop pretending now?” And your voice cracks when you answer.

✩ “You can kiss me now.” - “What?” - “You’ve wanted to this whole time.”

✩ strangers compliment your relationship. neither of you corrects them.

✩ they laugh like it’s just a role. you laugh like you're about to cry.

[thewriteadviceforwriters]

Any chance you have any for writing, uh, adult scenes? They're really difficult to implement I feel

writing adult scenes that aren’t cringe, soulless, or weirdly mechanical

first of all, SORRY for the delay responding to this!! i've had this sitting in my inbox like a cryptid under a tarp because i wanted to actually give you something thoughtful and helpful (and not just go "lol same" and vanish into the mist). so. let’s talk ✨writing adult scenes✨ in a way that actually works for the story, not just for shock or spice or vibes.

the biggest challenge with adult scenes (and what makes them feel awkward to write) is that they can’t be written in isolation. they need to grow out of character dynamics, narrative tension, pacing, and tone. otherwise, they feel dropped-in or even emotionally hollow. so here’s a breakdown of how i approach them:

🌙 1. what does the scene do for the story? before writing any intimate moment, ask why this scene needs to happen here. is it a turning point in their relationship? a power shift? a moment of vulnerability? a manipulation? a step toward something breaking or healing? → if the only answer is “it’s time for a sexy scene,” pause and reassess. the strongest scenes usually have subtextual contradiction or tension. two characters who want different things. one character who's lying. one who thinks this will fix something. one who wants to feel nothing but feels too much. etc.

🕯️ 2. tone over terminology. you don’t need to use graphic terms to make a scene powerful. and you don’t need to fade to black to keep it tasteful either. it’s all about what suits your voice + genre + POV. → are you going clinical, detached, raw, euphemistic, poetic, awkward, sensory, or restrained? for example, if your POV character is repressed or emotionally numb, describing the absence of feeling can be more impactful than heat. if your POV is hyperfocused or obsessive, then focus in with close detail on one or two things (the way the other person breathes, touches, reacts). use sensory anchoring to make it immersive: temperature shifts, breath patterns, pressure, skin texture, muscle tension, silence vs noise. this doesn’t mean just listing body parts, it means grounding every action in how it’s being experienced.

💔 3. stay in character. your characters don’t become blank slates just because the clothes are off. this is a moment where everything about them should heighten, their pasts, fears, walls, wants, emotional limits. → how do they usually communicate (or avoid communication)? how do they handle vulnerability or control? if one of them is more experienced and the other is nervous, that’ll shape their pacing, their responses, even their internal monologue. if it’s two people with history (or tension or resentment), that should bleed through too. even breath can be laced with emotional weight if you write it in character.

🔥 4. skip the step-by-step. you do not need to narrate every movement or article of clothing. that’s where scenes start to feel mechanical or awkward. → instead: zoom in on a few potent, emotionally-loaded actions or lines of dialogue. linger on what those moments mean to the character. you’re not writing a how-to manual, you’re writing a turning point in intimacy, trust, conflict, or emotional unraveling. if you need to, write the whole thing once clinically just to get the beats down. then go back and revise it for tone and feeling.

💡final notes from me:

if you're writing in 1st person, filter everything through that character’s emotional lens. if they're overwhelmed or dissociating, show that. if they're hyperaware, describe what draws their eye.

awkwardness isn’t bad! sex can be weird or fumbly or vulnerable or funny. don’t sand down the edges unless your characters are perfect robots.

don’t try to make it universal. make it specific. what does this character notice? how do these two people move around each other? what are they afraid to say out loud?

i hope this helps!! and if you ever want examples, writing exercises, or scene critiques, feel free to send more asks 🖤

[featherxquill]

The thing about me is, I’m so rejection sensitive, at least where friendship is concerned, that I have learned to completely ignore the part of my brain that tells me that someone is mad at me or hates me and wants rid of me, essentially granting myself cockroach levels of resilience to passive-aggressive social rejection and ghosting. So yes, I will be That Person. I have absolutely no shame and I will send you 32 things that made me think of you even if you haven’t replied, I will persist in asking you to hang out. Like I choose to believe that everyone is just busy or forgetful or has their own shit going on, it’s the only way I can be a functional human being. So if you want to get rid of me that’s completely fine, but I will take none hints and I’m going to need you to Set Some Clear Boundaries, Ma’am.

[minimalist-quotes]

A lot will go wrong before everything goes right. Keep moving forward

-@lipikkawrites

[novella-november]

Making a much longer post short:

If you are writing a Romance, especially one you want your readers to root for, please make sure you take the time to include lots of little scenes that show that:

your characters actually are *friends* as well as lovers,

they enjoy spending time with each other on a casual basis

they respect as well as love each other

they try to communicate their feelings clearly instead of bottling their ire up til it explodes in violent arguments

neither of your characters are genuinely afraid of the other when they're angry

that they do not threaten each other with bodily harm during arguments, or use physical force

they respect each other's consent, and respect their partner's wants and wishes when it comes to physical affection.

pretty much to sum it up: do your characters actually enjoy being with each other, or is the entire relationship built on lust and dramatic arguments and nothing else?

Because if your relationship is the latter, your readers are more likely to want them to *break up* rather than *stay together*.

[deception-united]

Let's talk about grumpy x sunshine tropes.

Arguably one of the most well-loved tropes in media, for good reason. The dynamic where one character is perpetually cynical, stoic, or irritable while the other is warm, cheerful, and outgoing often makes for good banter and conflict, and it's satisfying to watch the grumpy character's reluctance develop into the relationship as they warm up to the other. But it's important to do it well. Here are some tips.

The Appeal

What makes this trope work?

Contrast = Chemistry

The clashing personalities creates tension as well as opportunities for banter, which adds to the chemistry between the characters; and their differences and areas of disagreement force them both to grow and adapt for the sake of the other.

Vulnerability

As their relationship develops, you'll often see the sunshine character helping the grumpy character to confront their emotional walls, whether by pushing them or when they come down on their own over time as they grow closer to each other. This also leads to the grumpy character softening around the sunshine character.

Humour

This whole dynamic naturally comes with its own comedic situations—whether that be witty retorts, misunderstandings, or the sunshine character's relentless attempts to brighten the grumpy character up.

Dos and Don'ts

Do:

Give them depth. Have reasons for their respective personalities, motivations, goals, who they avoid, how they act around new people—the grumpy character's personality, for example, aside from just being a part of their character, might also have elements that stem from past trauma or a fear of vulnerability, amongst other things. Avoid making them one-dimensional, like just making the grumpy character a jerk and the sunshine character obnoxiously naïve.

Show mutual growth. As their relationship develops, both characters should influence the other in various ways. An obvious example of this would be the sunshine character learning boundaries or resilience, and the grumpy character being able to open up more.

Balance their dynamic. Make the relationship feel like partnership rather than a one-sided emotional rescue mission. Both characters should be contributing to and benefiting from the relationship.

Build it up gradually. A slow burn typically works best with this trope. Let their relationship develop over time, give them reasons to connect and bond and grow. This will make the eventual payoff more satisfying for the reader.

Have balance. Make each character complement the other without dominating the narrative. They should feel like a team rather than one character "fixing" the other.

Create situations that force interaction. Whether they’re co-workers, roommates, or trapped together somewhere, proximity is key to fostering their dynamic, essentially forcing it when their personalities naturally go against each other.

Don't:

Make the sunshine character a doormat. Don't let them exist solely for the purpose of catering to the grumpy character's needs and pushing them for growth—give them agency, independence, and their own goals and motivations.

Have one-sided growth. It’s not just about the sunshine character "fixing" the grumpy character; both should influence and challenge each other.

Overuse miscommunication. Misunderstandings happen in relationships, and likely more when the characters' personalities contrast so drastically, but constant misunderstandings and miscommunication can frustrate readers. Try to use it more sparingly and don't drag out the resolution for conflict that is petty or largely unimportant to the overall plot.

Make the dynamic toxic. Unless this is your intention, of course, but if you're trying to develop a healthy and lovable romance, keep in mind that grumpy doesn't mean cruel. The grumpy character might have certain reservations or personality quirks, but being stoic or unapproachable doesn't inherently equate to being emotionally abusive.

Oversimplify the sunshine character. Cheerful and outgoing shouldn't automatically mean being naïve or oblivious. The sunshine character should be complex in their own right, and capable of experiencing a range of emotions, both positive and negative.

Make the sunshine character too overbearing. A sunshine character who ignores boundaries or forces positivity onto the grump can come across as irritating and socially inept rather than endearing.

Overdone?

Some things are overdone and everyone's tired of them; others are overdone because no one gets tired of them. So:

Overdone, unfortunately:

Unexplained 180: The grumpy character changes overnight with no believable arc.

"You’re the only one who gets me": While sweet in moderation, it can feel contrived if the sunshine character magically understands the grump without effort.

Damsel in distress: Turning the sunshine character into a helpless figure who needs constant saving undermines their strength.

Overdone, but please continue:

Forced proximity: Setups like this are cliché but effective when done well, and fun to read.

Grumpy protects sunshine: The grumpy character reluctantly stepping up to shield the sunshine character is not only adorable but leads to deeper emotional connections.

Soft spot: The grumpy character's’s hidden affection for the sunshine character always lands well if subtle.

Happy writing and thank you all for 3000! ❤

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[teresablogs]

You are capable of achieving the dream that’s been planted in you.

[lipikkawrites]

- @lipikkawrites

[vivsinkpot]

Writing Slow-Burn Relationships That Actually Burn

There’s a difference between a slow romance… and a slow nothing.

A slow-burn isn’t about stretching time—it’s about building tension. It’s about all the almosts, the not yets, the god, they don’t even know moments that ache just right. Below are some key elements to make your slow-burn romance simmer:

1. Tension > Timing

Don’t focus on how long the romance takes. Focus on what builds in that time. What do they risk every time they get closer? What do they deny themselves? That’s your tension.

Example:

She touches his sleeve to get his attention. He doesn’t move. But she doesn’t let go either.

Neither of them mention it.

2. Use Interruptions and Missed Timing

Let other things get in the way — duty, pride, misunderstanding, fear. Give them moments that almost become something… but don’t.

Let them fumble. Let them hesitate. Let the reader scream “JUST KISS ALREADY” at their book.

3. Shared History or Parallel Wounds

Bond them through something deeper than attraction. Shared grief, values, guilt, or a memory they both keep tucked away. That thread keeps pulling them together—even when they don’t know why.

4. Physical Closeness, Emotional Distance

Have them near each other often. Shoulders brushing. Long silences. One bed tropes. But they’re still emotionally guarded. The closeness becomes unbearable. Deliciously so.

5. Payoffs That Feel Earned

When they finally touch, kiss, confess—it should feel like the earth tilts. You want the reader to feel that payoff. To think: yes, finally — but also: this moment matters.

Let the burn be emotional.

Let it be built on unsaid things, on the way they notice each other in a crowded room, on the one moment they almost said it but swallowed it down.

Slow doesn’t mean boring.

Slow means longing.

[3hks]

How to Write a GREEN FLAG Love Interest

As the romance genre grows more and more in popularity, it's hard to not notice the abundance of red flag love interests. And while yes, that makes it fun and interesting, it's still toxic at the end of the day.

So how do you write a love interest that's a green flag, then?

1. Imperfection

Your love interest is not going to start off as the perfect girlfriend or boyfriend. We want them to be the ideal partner, of course, but that doesn't mean they're born without any flaws.

They might have some bad habits, regrets, hesitation, secrets, and boundaries, but they're considered "green flags" because they can overcome those imperfections to contribute positively to their relationship.

2. Communication

Communication is one of the most crucial points in a trusting relationship. Your characters have to be able to talk honestly with one another.

Now, I get it if your character has trust issues or some kind of obstacle that makes it difficult for them to open up, but they should at least be willing to communicate.

3. Patience and Supportiveness

This shouldn't be a huge revelation; any good partner should have patience and support their loved one. These two traits are also key to having a healthy and open relationship.

Patience and communication are also important to highlight when the characters fight. Yes, they might get whisked away in the moment and spew words they don't agree with, but the aftermath should be a healthy resolution in which both parties speak honestly and listen patiently.

Additionally, remember that everyone has boundaries. They have topics they don't wish to talk about or moments they'd rather forget. An ideal relationship would include partners that know each other's vulnerabilities and difficult past events, but it takes work to get there.

The best thing to start with is patience. Your love interest should not force their significant other to talk about sensitive subjects that they don't want to talk about. That's simply being inconsiderate and pushy.

4. Teamwork

A couple is a team. They might not always agree on the same method or ideal, but they should listen to each other and be willing to compromise if necessary.

They need to tackle problems together.

5. Trust

This is a no-brainer. Your characters should trust one another, because what's the point in a relationship where they're constantly skeptical of their partner? Show their faith in each other.

6. Overprotectiveness/Overposessiveness

AVOID EXTREME OVERPROTECTIVENESS.

I know being overprotective is quite romanticized these days, but it's an objectively toxic trait. Being overprotective is controlling--your character is controlling whom their partner can or can't interact with--and it shows a lack of faith in their significant other. It can feel exhausting to the receiver.

7. Love Bombing

Here's another thing to avoid, whether you do it on purpose or not: love bombing.

For those who don't know, love bombing is a manipulation tactic in which one showers their partner with gifts, sweet words, and kind actions for a short period to make their partner attached before the former reverts to their normal self, in which there isn't all of this generosity and pampering.

Yes, being a good partner can mean spoiling your lover and treating them well, but if you cannot keep such actions up for the duration of their relationship, then it's basically love bombing. It's dishonest--it's not genuine.

8. Growth and Effort

Realistically, your character will have some detrimental traits that could harm the relationship. That's reality. A green flag doesn't necessarily need to have all of the characteristics I listed above, but they should be striving to achieve them all.

The greenest flag of them all is putting in actual effort into the relationship and themselves to improve what they have.

Perhaps they're bad at communication but try their best to open up. Maybe they have a bad temper but are working on reining it in and staying calm. That's growth. That's effort. That's respectable.

~~~

For anyone who needed to see this, I hope this has helped!

Happy writing~

3hks <3

[howtomakeyousee]

You can only love them.

You can only console them.

🫶

[thewriteadviceforwriters]

✨writing rant because i’m UNWELL and someone said enemies to lovers is “overdone”✨

okay listen.

i don’t care how “overdone” the trope is. let her fall in love with the enemy prince. let him smile like a knife and lie like a prayer. let her fall anyway. and then let her stab him with a hairpin. a hairpin!! we deserve this.

this isn't about originality. this is about execution and emotional violence and aesthetically pleasing betrayal.

tropes aren’t dead. they’re haunting us in new outfits.

every trope is a reusable little narrative skeleton and you get to dress it in whatever cursed, beautiful, petty, yearning flesh your heart desires. you can take enemies to lovers and make it toxic, or tender, or tragic. you can give them shared trauma. you can make them childhood friends turned enemies turned lovers turned enemies again. you can make the stabbing literal or metaphorical. you can make it an almost-stabbing, where she presses the blade to his throat and doesn’t do it. you can make her do it and then sob in his arms while he bleeds out whispering her name like a prayer he never meant to say out loud.

you can make it GAY.

that’s the power of tropes. they’re not restrictive. they’re launchpads. they give readers expectations so you can BREAK them. or better--fulfill them in devastating, soul-twisting ways.

also. like. if you think a trope is “overdone” maybe it’s not the trope that’s the problem. maybe it’s just being written without any real teeth. no emotional bite. no stakes. no tension. no pain. and that’s not the trope’s fault. that’s just boring writing.

give me the obsessive yearning. give me the knife-to-throat confessions. give me the battlefield truce that turns into a five-second pause before they go right back to trying to kill each other. give me quiet moments in enemy territory where they realize they’re not so different. give me the one bed. give me the i hate you but i’d burn down a kingdom for you and hate myself for it.

let the prince kneel at her feet, kiss her knuckles like he’d never crush them, and then go home and report to his war council like nothing happened. let her wear the hairpin he gave her while plotting his assassination. let them both suffer about it. let them choose each other anyway. or don’t. let them fail. let them fall apart in the final act and still reach for each other across the ashes.

i literally do not care how many times we’ve seen it. i want it again. i want it done well. i want it done with spite and softness and aching inevitability. i want to feel like the betrayal was worth it. i want to scream into my hands and text my writer friends like “why would you do this to me” while secretly living for it.

write your trope. write it the way it’s been done before or write it sideways and backwards and messy. just write it with emotion. and a little hairpin. and blood under their fingernails.

okay bye

Rin T.