#all these years and I still dont know which tag Im supposed to use...

[deeply-unserious-fellow]

I lowkey wanna redraw all that fanart I did for the Mercs For Money and Their Quest to Save Deadpool's Imaginary Boyfriend. Partly bcuz Im a much better artist now and partly bcuz I miss the Mercs man Idk :(

(Also I think everybody who hasnt read that fic b4 should absolutely check it out bcuz its so fucking good omfg)

[connormoving]

having a midlife crisis atm i think i might start reading [redacted] this is rly scary for me keep me in your thoughts

[zeropro]

So I’ve seen you draw and tag a couple of different ships, just wondering which are your favorite???

Love your art btw :D

Thank you!

I don’t have a specific ship i'm particularly loyal to, so I guess I’ll rate them and also provide my own headcanons:

(disclaimer i dont know ship names so imma just try my best)

Trine-shipping: yes, put the three of them together, I don’t care. familial, sexual, romantic, platonic, its all good. I go crazy seeing them stand next to each other in the cartoon what do you want from me.

thunderwarp: I see this one a lot and I quite like it. these two being mates with starscream doing his own thing kinda makes sense considering starscream has a bunch of other ships. also makes it fun when something happens to one of them and starscream is left in the awkward position of having to deal with that.

thunderstar: been thinking about this one more lately. they’re like foils to each other. thundercracker’s a good boy to starscream’s bad boy, and he does such a concern about all the morally dubious stuff starscream gets up to. but at the same time, he admires starscream’s ambition and rizz and starscream the kinda bot that would pull you so high if you followed him. I think out of anyone, starscream is the closest to actually trusting thundercracker. 

starwarp: i had this thought one time of what if skywarp is like the horniest asexual and starscream is the most traumatized aromantic, and how would that even work XD nothing solid in the works just an idea that I had. ive seen these two less often outside of trine shipping but it can be pretty hot. I like when they are being protective of each other. I always see skywarp as more emotionally open than his trinemates and starscream can use some of that open and honest emotional love and care. someone to forcfully make him accept being loved. someone who will actually push back when he’s being stupid. and with skywarp being loyal to megatron, so much angst potential for both of them.

starbee: im a sucker for the whole ghost bee starscream dynamic. I already made a post about these two, and after all this time I still really enjoy this ship. I think characters that don’t actually like each other at first but grow into a mutual respect is so tasty. I think some people don’t like the ship because they headcanon bee as too young? well, starscream is actually younger in my fic lmao, but also they’re like 6 million years old and are born with full adult processing capabilities, I don’t think age matters here :P its less about intimacy for me anyway. I like them together because of how much it takes to get there. 

starwavewave: okay this one is 100% fueled by tfone but guyssss guysss theyre married and megatron is their son and im just aaaagh dont seperate them! such a kookie dynamic, the cool headed soundwave, the emotionally volatile shockwave, the arrogant yet cowardly starscream, all being fail dads to their little scamp leader. hahaha. high command polycule 

megastar: gasp, rated above skystar. yes, I just find this dynamic more interesting. I like an abusive ship sometimes for the angst but I also enjoy seeing megatron when he isnt abusive? kinda catharsis maybe. I read a fic once where the war is over and starscream invites megatron to one of optimus’ high profile parties and is appalled at megatron showing up in robot equivalent of underdressed, meanwhile megatron the working class miner is like “I washed, what else was I supposed to do” XD and I just love that haha. theres just so many ways to take it. I wont be doing any megastar in my au, I just tag anything that has megatron and starscream interacting with megastar cuz thats the dynamic to me

skystar/jetstar: iddkkkkk i know this is the most popular ship but it’s just!! idk! its not as interesting to me haha. I love this as a past ship, they were roommates in college, starscream opened himself to someone, chose to become close and then was hurt by it. just another wound on starscream’s spark before he ever even meets megatron. I don’t think theyd get back together after the ice. idk how well I can write this so I’ll just explain how it happens in my au here: skyfire died and starscream created this version of skyfire in his mind that was perfect, he memorialised him because he was dead! you just cant live up to how someone remembers you. I think that was part of the reason why starscream reacts so badly when skyfire ���betrayed” him. unlike thundercracker, skyfire knows how to set healthy boundaries. not to mention he’d been on ice for four million years, lost his entire life, everyone he knows, and his entire civilisation, planet, and culture to a war he had no part in. bot’s gonna be upset. pissed off even. skyfire shouldnt have to be some soft sparked punching bag for starscream, he’s kind and a pacifist but he’s also going to get upset and have feelings. I think starscream’s betrayal would hit pretty hard, he’d gonna be upset about how much starscream’s changed, how much damage starscream helped cause during the war, and also starscream shooting him in the back for wanting to protect the native wildlife! when they properly talk to each other again it’s going to be heated on both sides, and I think after some hard work from both sides they could end up in a place where they are willing to be friends again, but I don’t think they’d conjunx. skystar isnt end game to me, but it is canon and an important part of the story

starop: I think ive read one fic where I really liked this ship. it’s just such a random pairing. my initial reaction is just noooo optimus prime?? but that guy’s everyone’s dad! Ive been told a big part of it is they’re both megatron’s ex’s and that’s pretty funny. not for me sadly haha (opxmegatronoldmanyaoiotpfrfr)

starjack…wheelstar? whatever the starscream and wheeljack one is. I’m not into this one. I see where people are coming from with it, but wheeljack isnt an interesting character to me. they can be science bros tho

starscream and windblade: ive seen this like once or twice. not for me. windblade is like, starscream’s daughter or something idk XD 

soundstar: uuuh i dont see it. sorry! i legit have no thoughts on soundstar. theyre coworkers XD. ive seen fics where the seekers are really young and soundwave moms them, and that’s really cute. okay, I like soundwave as a caretaker if the seekers are young, but yeah I don’t think I understand this one. 

shockstar: nooooooo. tho ironically theres more canon content there to fuel this one than soundstar (is this emotion?) but still no XD I don’t even hate shockwave! let him be sunstorm’s dad, that’s cute. but no, shockewave too creepy. no ship. they are also coworkers

what other ship is there even? oh yeah

starprowl: this is apparently a really popular ship?! I guess in a way prowl is sort of like the autobot’s starscream, undermining his leader, arrogant, willing to do the dubious play. they’re both ruthless. I like this one better than starjacked, but its still an odd pairing to me.

oh! knockout and starscream, i can kinda see it? like, as a rebound after breakdown? I like knock out and breakdown, so I’d only see these two as like friends or if something happened to breakdown. they’re a LOT of fun when they interact tho heh heh, perfectly clashing personalities

on the topic of tfp, I guess starscream and arcee is a ship? I can see this similar to my enjoyment of starbee, they’d have to work reeaally hard for this one to work but they have had potentially positive interactions in the show (before starscream screws it up) so its possible in a better world where starscream doesnt suck they could become friends. him killing cliffjumper is gonna be a huge hurdle tho! 

dont talk to me about airachnid

do people ship starscream and ratchet? I don’t ship it, but I do really like interactions between them. starscream is so terrible but he also gets hurt a lot. ratchet is grumpy and prejudice but he’s the best doctor and he’ll fix him up! I like when something terrible happens to starscream and ratchet cant help but feel bad for the guy. that’s the good stuff.

lastly i have been asked a few times on trinebee. im assuming this is bumblebee and the trine. i hadnt thought about it but it makes sense! if youre a starbee shipper, but you also support trine propaganda, then it only makes sense to bring bee into the trine. also bee and thundercracker are friends! the only ones who havent really had any interaction is bee and warp, and honestly idk if I see those two getting along but bumblebee is everybody’s friend so XD I’m sure it’ll work out!

and i think those are all the thoughts i have on the ships! 

no hate on anyone who ships any of these!!! you all do what you do, these are just my opinions, and honestly I’m just not a huge shipper to begin with haha. I am…unsure if there will be any shipping content in my au, I write my scenarios very much “canon but to the left” and so it comes out very sex-less because romance and intimacy is just not the type of content I’m in the business of writing. but, idk, i think about it sometimes. sometimes I think about the end of chapter one of thundercracker’s origin, the night starscream took thundercracker out on a not-date. i think, who knows, in some version of the story maybe they shared a kiss? maybe they went back to the apartment and things went further? maybe. but of course, in every version of the story, starscream is gone the next morning. 

happy valentrine’s day!

[ven0moir]

Clearing the air on the “Bychance vs Byler Civil War”

Bylers vs Bychancers? More like Bylers & Bychancers vs The Miscommunication Trope ( something like that ).

Why this is what i think is actually going on:  

This is NOT Mileven vs Byler 2.0 at all because bychance has not ONCE been proposed as a replacement for Byler, at least not from myself or @cypherheartnokey which are ( as far as im aware ) the main people theorizing about it right now. I personally don’t even see it as a real ship, but that’s just me. 

HOW THIS WHOLE THING STARTED ( as far as i know )

So a few days ago, i made this post:

I used the Byler tag and have continued to do so bc skeptic ( and even full on anti-bychance ) Bylers were my intended TARGET AUDIENCE for this. I knew there was a risk I would get some hate for taking it seriously since Bychance was never supposed to be more than just a silly and fun crackship that the fandom made up. (😭im not even gonna pretend I don't go into laughing fits over how absolutely bonkers I sound to myself most days. cypherheartnokey and others --you pookies know who you are <3-- who See The Things Im Seeing keep me sane istg my ride or die fr ) 

It was just supposed to be a fun writing exercise to see if my current ideas held up under scrutiny from bylers. To test myself, basically. 

MY INITIAL ASSUMPTION 

Before I posted, I thought the risk of getting dogpiled on & getting called 'delusional' & whatever else was worth it bc, to my surprise, my earlier Bychance analyses had been well received–even though some of the Bylers engaging with them don’t really think Bychance will happen, they still think the theories about it are entertaining and fun to read and offer input on. This has led to some interesting conversations about Mike and Will’s arcs, and it’s been nice through this content drought. 

However, what i did NOT anticipate was to cause a ‘ship war��--I really didn’t think this would cause harm and that anyone would stoop so low as to send death threats over differing opinions on hypothetical ships that may or may not even happen in the show & even if they do, nothing guarantees they’ll happen in a way we’re perfectly happy with, let’s please be real about our expectations here since we have 0 control over the creative direction the duffers will actually take. 

All we can hope for is that us Bylers truly are amongst their intended target audience and that the show delivers a satisfying closure.  

MY INTENTIONS & WHY I WILL CONTINUE TO USE THE BYLER TAG ( with discretion )

Using the Byler tag allows like-minded Bylers to find my theories–without the tag, it'd be harder for them to find them. 

However, I WILL be extra thoughtful with my use of the tag going forward, and make sure I'm using it when the conversation centers Byler/Mike/Will and other themes pertaining to Byler.

MY CURRENT STANCE

for anyone receiving death threats or insults on behalf of “bychance shippers”, you DO NOT deserve that. Please report and block, if possible. these people are saboteurs, and just want to stir drama without caring about the harm they cause to the community. In fact, they probably enjoy it tbh. 

i do also have to say that i am no authority here and cannot be tone policing other bychancers. i also can’t pretend i am entirely neutral in this scenario since from what I've observed, my bychance mutuals and anons are REACTING to hate we’re getting from bylers. And whereas I'm aware that type of hate is only coming from a handful of people in the community, not all of us will be patient and graceful at all times, we’re human after all.

I dont care if a mileven calls me delusional, i laugh. But when bylers i have admired and learned from for years call one of us stupid for thinking/suspecting X theory might be hinted at and getting stomped on for trying to bring the conversation to the table, yeah I can't guarantee that's not gonna trigger a defense mechanism over time.

Do you personally have to like Bychance or agree? Absolutely not, nobody is saying that. And good faith critiques of the theory are always welcomed and I actually encourage it in my space as long as we keep it civil and follow fandom etiquette, since it keeps fandom alive.  

FINAL THOUGHTS 

The very message of the show we’re discussing is to choose love in the face of fear, and to not let it drive our choices and unawarely continue to feed the cycle of abuse and trauma. Let's do our best to not keep repeating, amongst each other, what we have already been subjected to by the most hateful parts of the ST fandom. 

i'm here to learn and have fun, not to cause wars, discourse or division--bychance as a theory is just the jumpstart and can change over time and maybe even become something else entirely. the goal is just to open the door for those curious enough to investigate, share and discuss any findings. Whether or not you go in, it's up to you. Just don't be mean to the ones that do.

[melkor-did-nothing-wrong]

hi!! i read your tags on your latest rb (the one about the angbang child) and idk if you posted about it in the past but i would love to hear more!! i also have my own hcs and im always interested in hearing other peoples ideas <3

(from what i read in your tags, if you dont feel comfortable talking about this, i understand, or if youd prefer, my dms are always open if you dont wanna reply publicly to this)

Ok I am going to start by apologizing for taking a long time to answer, as well as thanking you for sending the ask in the first place. I still don't know if I should answer this publicly, but after years of either being told off for it being "boring" or "not canon" or "ooc" or even seeing people leaving the conversations on read every time I mention angbang with a baby of their own, I really really do want to yap while having the opportunity of saying: "well, as you can see, someone asked, so I'm just answering! clearly that's for the asker!". So thanks for the opportunity and the encouragement. I'm going to put these events/developments in a numbered list, so you'll have an easier time asking me to elaborate on anything specific later on if you so choose. They're not perfectly coherent but it is what it is, you know?

(Also: People who think the whole concept is bad or cringe, don't interact with this post. I've been hearing this for years but if y'all are allowed to make your own fankids for literally every other ship ever, then so am I!)

First of all, I'm gonna be using terms like "having a baby" but I want to clarify it's actually weirder (and arguably sillier, depending on who you ask) than that. I am not talking about developing another person's body to birth here. I am talking about developing another spirit or soul, which will only get a body when the whole process is done. I am just using terms that will be familiar to us as people even if the process isn't identical (the same way people would sometimes talk about birds or reptiles being "born" even when everyone collectively knows they just hatch from an egg).

So obviously at the end of the WoW, the army of valinor comes over to arrest Melkor and drag him through the doors of night

Melkor immediately throws his hands up like "Nope, you guys really shouldn't kill me. I'm going to have a baby and it'd be incredibly rude of you to kill me given the circumstance"

Exhausted collective sighs. Obviously that's typical Melkor BS so we're not gonna believe that, but I suppose disproving it publicly back at home and putting an end to the bs will not be a huge amount of time wasted. whatever.

Yeah sure ok Melkor whatever you say. we can drag you back west to officially call the bluff and get rid of you there.

Drag Melkor back. Whatever. just end this farce please.

Wait. Wait what the fuck. What the fuck do you mean there actually IS a baby??? HUH???????? How come???? WHY?????

Ok fine whatever UGH you are SO annoying. Fine. you can stay in jail until you have it and we'll kill you AFTER. Whatever.

Manwe is just. Trying to ask Melkor wtf is going on. Melkor, who is having a very very bad time in prison, predictably tells his brother to flock off.

Meanwhile, Mairon, who has just learned of that development, sighs and makes an effort to get to Valinor to drag his annoying (but beloved) hubby out of there.

Shortly after Melkor has the baby and manages to configure a physical form for him, Mairon commits a few acts of terrorism around as a distraction, then shows up in front of Melkor in dragon form like "Get on, we're leaving".

They make it east, and have to start living on the run from place to place out of fear of being pursued, as well as trying to find any remaining allies.

Eventually when they realize there are most likely no immediate plans of attack or attempts to retrieve them, Melkor and Mairon decide to temporarily settle near a settlement of humans who were on Melkor's side in the war, partially because they won't be kicked out by allies and partially in hopes of discouraging Manwe from ordering any attacks due to the fear of human casualties.

What follows is a lot of trial and error in raising what is essentially an immortal Ainu who is both completely new to this world but is simultaneously technically an ancient spirit who has partial knowledge of all things but can't make sense of them.

Another part of the life they build raising a kid is Melkor having to deal with the personal trauma of basically everything and everyone else being gone- it's a significant struggle for him to go from doing whatever he wanted pretty much consequence free, while having the support of his entire court, to just sitting here with Mairon and the baby, just the three of them. He genuinely thought it would happen sooner, that their son would grow up a prince, safe as can be, surrounded by friends and be as adored by all as he himself was. Unfortunately that was not the case, and now he has to raise him very differently while knowing he'll never meet any of the people Melkor had called friends or had any sort of fondness for. You know. Because they're all dead and it's mostly his own fault.

Mairon on the other hand is less affected by it all that much. He always liked being alone just fine, he isn't exactly a huge fan of big crowds. It's difficult for him too, starting over somewhere new and knowing all the people he knew are dead, and also having to keep in mind that he might have to hop around every so often to evade his weird immortal ex-employers, but if there's anything that mf can do is dodge taxes. You're never gonna Al-Capone him. Ever. Can't put him in jail if you can't find him etc. And he's very good at not being found. He's also mostly okay with not being bothered as much. He has his own thoughts on the matter but he doesn't have the time to be an angstlord because now he's got to watch out for double the troublemaking chaotic Ainur and has to make an effort to prevent them from getting into too much trouble. Honestly it's not that different from runing a fortress, in terms of how busy he gets, if you ask him. Anyway he is very fascinated by the baby because unlike Valar (Melkor and Manwe, Yavanna and Vana, Nienna Namo and Irmo, Nessa and Orome…) Maiar are not created in sets of siblings, so Mairon is familiar in theory, but not familiar in practice, with the idea of a family unit. He doesn't entirely understand what it's like to have a connection with someone that runs this deep but he's absolutely fascinated by this little family of his.

Considering how Melkor is "No longer counted among the Valar" specifically, and considering the original plan was 15 Valar, I like to think of the kid as the Vala who will eventually gain the role of replacing Melkor. To that end, I needed an aspect for him to embody that is at least slightly similar to how I view Melkor (as an aspect of change and transformation), as something that can be associated with the creative process like Mairon, and as a bonus, something that Tolkien himself would consider at least a little bit negative. In the end I have decided to settle on that thing being Technology. It can be used creatively to innovate and streamline tedious or difficult processes, but can also be used for evil/selfish ends (especially these days…)

Last but not least, because I can't stress this enough - just because I prefer Melkor and Mairon to be loving partners to eachother and loving parents to their son, that does NOT mean they're suddenly "good" or "kind" or "redeemed" or any of the thousand other words used to describe either post first age Mairon or post fourth/whichever age Melkor. I am not opposed to the idea in general, in fact not only do I get the appeal, I even love it because I love reading about these evil little feral creatures being happy together. but to me personally just because they love their own boy and are cordial to allies who were dying for their cause during the recent war in this specific AU, it doesn't mean they're suddenly going to be good and nice and friendly towards any and every person they come across in the rest of it. In other AUs, sure, in other projects written by other people, absolutely, in other nonsense written by me, even, yeah absolutely I'll allow them to be nice. But here specifically they're still annoying evil disaster creatures who might kill any mortal for the heck of it just to see what happens. They just do it less often because they don't have a thousand Umaiar, ten thousand Orcs and a hundred dragons to back them up this time. So if they do the killing they'll have to face consequences this time, and they really wouldn't like that, so they play nice for the sake of, you know, not being murdered in their outnumbered, outmatched current state lmao.

[oetscop]

okay so im making a new post abt this since its a little different from my last analysis post. but @petscopping brought up a very interesting point in the tags! that being "nobody is innocent" and he is so fucking right abt that

that was in regards to the objectification of care, and how paul also contributes to that. but like, even characters that aren't explicitly on screen are culpable. specifically belle.

i always get this impression that shes hiding something. she knows far more than she lets on, and i almost have to wonder if its in a way to protect paul? which is interesting since we know how in denial he is about Literally Everything, which is actively harming himself in some way.

she knows. a LOT about this game. like, paul is only recording gameplay to prove that hes "not lying" about the weird game he found. then later down the line after paul gets to the other side of the quitters room and tells her tiara is gone and her reply is "of course." the way paul replies to that too is telling since hes confused as to why she knows somethings up. even earlier than that paul mentions how he was shocked to find "his room" but isnt anymore since it makes sense that the game would be connected to him through belle. not to mention she knows an older version of the game that had the passageway to the caskets. she had played it as recently as 2004. why lie at first?

a little tangential, but i really gotta wonder about her connection to rainer. obviously they were close enough for him to be doing...whatever the fuck happens during a rebirthing event. or whatever he thinks is supposed to happen, i should say. shes heavily connected to tiara in some way, and has a stupid amount of play time on the damn game. if you ascribe to the theory that tiara and in game marvin are based entirely off in game behaviors of real people playing the game, its no wonder tiara seems to be almost...sentient? all marvin does is run around and say shit and like be weird and the game was literally made for him. tiara like. can edit texture maps, and use that to also speak directly to paul thru tool. and because of that, she can speak more directly, and isnt hindered by the p2 to talk mechanic like marvin is.

point is, belle has logged a crazy amount of time into the game. sure you could probably say the hours played is inaccurate, maybe she just had the game left open on a console for what. 17 years was it? even rainer admits its dubious. but imo, it feels more...symbolic? like sure maybe she wasnt playing it for that long. but she had some kind of passive connection to the game in that time. she is/was in contact with rainer. she HAD to be. (this also might imply the game was still being worked on after 2000. but thats a whole nother can of worms)

i cant think of any other motive for her lying about that other than to protect paul in some way. which, in a way, ties back to cares objectification. paul is absolutely denying any humanity to his child self. its ingrained in the very code of the game.

and in some way, belle is also participating. maybe im reading too far into that, but with how much the series is able to tell us abt characters who dont even fucking talk is really impressive so its not completely unrealistic.

[goldencuffs]

I was wondering about how you feel about amw. From some of the posts when you came back, and some of the tags, I get the impression that it's not a fic you vibe with. Maybe bc your tastes/mindset has changed since you started it, that's definitely happened to me in what fic I prefer to read.

So I was wondering whether you dislike writing it bc the theme isn't something you find enjoyable to write anymore or bc you just don't like the story point blank, but we love it so you continue for us so it's finished and there's resolution for the amw readers. Or if it's bc you dislike having a fic in limbo that's partially posted for your own sake. Like, it's something that hangs over you, but if you finish it, it's finally done and it won't lurk in your thoughts any longer.

I know when I have a task to do, it hovers over me and if I don't do the thing, I start to get anxious about it. And the anxiety grows every time it pops into my thoughts, but once I cross it off my list, I feel *free* and able to breathe again.

I only ask bc sometimes it seems like you don't want to write it or that it's become an arduous task for you.

I'm genuinely grateful that you've chosen to finish writing it, and I don't mean anything negative about this ask. It's just something I noticed and wanted to understand better. I adore your writing and reading your interactions/reactions with everyone. You're the only reason I still use Tumblr. I hope my question(s) don't upset you, if that is the impact, then I am truly sorry. I hope you have a beautiful weekend 💖💖💖 - all the love from another Aaron Dessner girlie 🤍

this is literally the sweetest most thoughtful ask oh my god 😭🥺

for me, all my words was honestly just supposed to be a one shot. and then it grew longer and longer and i was writing it alongside in the absence of a king which is my baby and (in my opinion) the best thing i've ever written so it was exhausting continuing the two together. especially because i dont think amw is good writing/my best writing. you can especially see that in the first few chapters, which are pretty directionless.

when i left on my hiatus i was dealing with a very tough situation with my family (which is still ongoing unfortunately) but i never truly planned on ever abandoning ITAOAK. i ALWAYS knew i was going to finish it, which is why i tried working on it as much as possible over the last two years. i wanted to especially finish it for me, bc like i said i loved it and i wrote it for myself and i was the ideal target audience lmaoooo

so in comparison - while i still definitely vibe with amw's concept/storyline - it just truly paled in comparison for ITAOAK. also i've always been worried about amw's ending. i know people have certain expectations for this kind of au and i..... have not written it the way people would want. like i said, it's unrealistic and not... great. so. that is still making me very nervous too.

ALSO i have new stories im excited for and just wanted to put those up right away and i was feeling trapped by amw being incomplete.

that being said - i am so unbelievably grateful for everyone's support and the fact that people still want to read it. it definitely played a huge part in me continuing the story and now i can move on in peace with zero unfinished works!!! 😍🤗💖

[fictionkinfessions]

GOD (haha thats my dad) i miss my bros. my siblings. every last one of them. like yeah, i totally dipped out on my responsibilities and shit. but i still missed them, even if they were honestly terrible at times.

yea, we were angels, but that didnt make us any better than dads other creations.

dad wasnt supposed to play favorites, but he obviously favored lucifer, even after everything. he didnt give a shit about me or raphael, and godforbid anyone bring up uriel or zadkiel or literally any of the other archangels. those guys got the worst of it considering literally no one remembered them.

but he had such "big plans" for mike and luce. which was literally hey boys, in a few million years im gonna have you both fight to the death!! and IM the "irresponsible one" out of all of us bc i was tired of the fighting and the bullshit after dad left? whatever dude. i didnt WANT to be in charge, i NEVER asked to be a general or whatever, that was just something i was made to be.

anyways. besides that. uhh. sorry to sam winchester for torturing you and your bro for like. years that one day. honestly you got kinda pathetic towards the end there and thats totally on me, but like rlly dude? dad wasnt rlly going to let one of you die forever back then, that much should've been obvious. esp considering most people who died actually stayed dead. no one dies that much & comes back without godtier plot armor.

i still loved you, lu. even after all the shit i said about you to your face (though it was kinda deserved). you were my big bro, you taught all of us everything we didnt know. i miss playing games and pulling pranks with you.

and, despite it all. i still loved dad. i dont know if he hated me in the end, probably. but how could i not love him? we were made that way, to love him.

damn, this got long.

anyways. uhh. fuck apocalypse michael, i hope you step on a lego and you always have that itchy feeling in your hand that you have to bite.

archangel gabriel out

(tag as fictive please + gonna take #🪖 for our sys if its open haha)

x

[rainderthesomeone]

Its official :>

I know I've said it here and there on a few posts on transgender stuff, but its a official, I'm trans :D

TW: I talk about abuse and body dysphoria in this post, you dont have to read the rest, this section is just me sharing my experiences in my teenage years with a homophobic as hell republican as a father.

I've known for a while like ever since I was in Middle School, I had a really hard time fitting in with other girls, I tried making friends with them but they were all into make up and dress's and talking about boys and other stuff, I made at least one friend in middle school but they left me for a group of girly girls, and I wasn't interested in what they liked, I was into a lot of things they were not interested in, I was a huge nerd, I liked games, Godzilla, movie production, comics, marvel, star wars, fnaf, dinosaurs, bendy, (not saying girls dont like these things, girls can like anything guys :D women are amazing I know a lot of amazing girls now :>) nothing they liked and when they saw that they weren't interested in me anymore, but I connected with the guys a lot more, but they always saw me as the girl who tagged along and needed to be treated gently, at first I had no interest in the lgbtq community or the idea of being something else other than what I already was, I couldn't even really talk about, since the topic of gay and gender ideology wasn't allowed in the house I used to live in, my father hated gay people, said they were wired, and shouldn't be his words not mine "frolicking around and being queer" da hell dose that mean? im still baffled by that, he's also that kind man who thinks lesbians are cool and gay men shouldn't exist, it was that level of misogyny and homophobia, looking at it now, it was really disgusting and disturbing, but I was 12 I didn't know any better.

but than as I got older I became more aware, and started questioning things, I was 13 in my room, on my phone, and I found this artist who was drawing deltarune characters, deltarune was also a huge eye opener to the lgbtq comunity for me, since kris identified as none binary, but I found one of the oc's the artist made and they identified as A gender, and I was like whats that and looked into it more and more, and than I went from I dont know who or what I am, to maybe im a demi girl, maybe im A Gender, maybe im none binary and than boom, it clicked, I went with they/them/there's for a while, but I began to feel uncomfortable, by being refred to as her, she, I started hating wearing a braw and how scratchy and annoying it felt, I began hating my chest, I stopped wearing shorts due to my legs being abnormally hairy and that girls arent supposed to be hairy, at one point my dad was going to put me through a hole body hair removal process which would have removed all my body hair, and he was going to do it without me knowing, until my mother told me, she was the most supportive person I had while going through this, I was litteraly terrified to say no to my dad, but eventully he didint go through with it, but I still wasnt allowed to have body hair, every time we went shoe shopping he tried to get me pink shoes, and brands women would only use, we went on a cruise and we had to dress up, but I didint want to since I would have had to wear a dress, blue jeans were the only thing I had that was close to guy clothes, I wasnt allowed anything remotley masculine, only my mom would let me have products like old spice, and she took me guy clothe shopping but it had to be in secret from my father, who would hurt me and my mother if he found out, not physically well he would probably slap me, but only yell at my mother, which still wasnt good, eventully we left his sad ass, and now me and my mom live in a apartment together, and from there I could freely explore who I was, a month later I came out as trans to my mother right after we left, and im in therapy with an amazing therapist and I have amazing friends who dont fully understand but support me in every direction, only triggering thing Ive experinced so far was not being able to change my pronouns to he him lol, Curse you school bored! XD

anyway sorry for the lenghty slightly depressing post, I just wanted to share my story here since I have the platform to do so now, the freedom of speech is very rewarding and validating lol, origanlly this was going to be a post about "guys I got my first chest binder oh and btw im ftm" but I wanted to get this off my chest no pun intended and open myself up more on here, the trans comunity on tumblr has been amazing so far, especially the tf2 comunity on here, I truly feel welcomed and comfortable being here.

lot of grammar issues in here, grammars not my strong suit plus its 11 pm for me right now, im heading to bed lol, good night everyone!

[quad-nova]

im a mail carrier. i work in a smallish town outside of a major us city on the east coast. my office has 24 routes, and only 16 full time regular carriers. i work 6 days a week. im supposed to get a rotating drop day as my second day off every week, but we dont have enough staff to cover my route and i get forced to come in more often than not. that article is talking about retirement buy outs, where if you are close to meeting the retirement thresholds you can take a slightly lesser pension but retire sooner. so while no one is getting fired, people are being pressured into taking the buyout and just not being replaced. its going to be a problem in my home office soon, there’s a couple of guys that are getting up to 30 years of service and are starting to get pushed into retiring early. im the first new carrier my office has gotten in over a year and a half. we don’t have the people to fill the open spots we already have. management can claim its about cutting costs all they want, but instead of paying one guy 8 hours to work, you end up paying out 7 hours of extra work onto everyone else, which accounting for overtime is paid like its 10 hours.

also fuck dejoy. hes out here in this article calling uniform funds and workers comp mismanaged?

dude i have been off probabtion for two months, and i still haven’t gotten my uniform allowance yet. i walk 13 miles on my route, i completely wore through my first pair of boots in four months from brand new to the soles being paper thin. green tag postal shoes cost 200 bucks a pair. i cant pay that out of pocket. also? idk who the fuck dejoy is looking at when hes talking about workmans comp, bc i know pleanty of people who work through sprains and pulled muscles and everything you can possibly treat with tylenol. bc unless you get hurt on the job by god litteraly smacking you upside the head in full view of your superviser, they will try and blame your injury on you. i even know someone with like some repetitive strain injury in her shoulder who is getting our shop steward involved bc management is arguing that its a not stretching properly problem and not a side effect of casing mail for 10 years problem. the usps reports more severe injuries than any other employer but its hell to try and get any comp for them

support your local postal workers. carriers and clerks and mail handlers do a lot of good work. if you ever have issues with getting misorted mail delivered or not having mail forwarded correctly, its not because they dont care enough to do their jobs, its likely due to overwork and understaffing. a lot of people still rely on physical mail as their primary form of communication. a lot of older people’s only daily interaction with others is when their mail carrier comes by. everyone ive met so far in this jobs cares alot. were just struggling to keep our heads above water when management is voting to encourage drowing

call your government officials and tell them to support the postal service. buy stamps, from a physical post office if possible. if you have to ship anything, check usps pricing since we are not a business, we are a service, and we are often the cheapest option.

and as for what to tell conservative family members - the usps is the third largest employer in the country, with over half a million employees. 15% of the usps is made up of veterans, triple the national average. in some states like alaska, hawaii, and nevada, a third of the postal service is made up of veterans. to be anti postal service is to be anti veteran and anti america

(sorry if this got long and rambly, i wrote it on the way home form my 12 hour day of delivering mail)

Next time you're around when the mail gets delivered, ask your delivery person if they're understaffed or not.

But don't hold them up too much, they have a lot of work to do.

[primaviva]

oki first of all, hai !!! its been sosososo long since ive sent an ask lolololol [i think it was last blog theme], but i just wanted 2 ask u a question bcuz uve written abt minors as a minor before and i have my own writing blog on the side n so far ive only ever written abt characters that r adults in canon but ive been wanting 2 branch out 2 other minor characters [IM A MINOR MYSELF BTW . the link in my bio 4 info abt me is being wack n gross, but i am a minor TRUST]

but back 2 my question, how should i deal with potential backlash ? when i write n publish my stuff abt canonically minor characters, im planning on just putting an adults dni at the top or smthn [bcuz the idea of adults engaging w the potential content of minors i put out makes me feel a lil sick 2 my stomach ngl] but i feel like some ppl r gonna see it n start 2 get defensive abt it which i . rlly dont want 2 deal w [but i probably will tho lololol]

OK . yeah . thats it . ik u havent posted anything since february but ur the only person i could think of 4 a question like that

thank u !!! have a good day ^_^ [n i hope this made sense !! pretty please reach out 2 me in any way possible if smthn didnt make sense !!]

BANAHHAHAA THANK YOU FOR THINKING OF ME omg im so sorry for being like a week late to this ask buttttttt honestly my advice to you is to do nothing. that sounds weird but LEMME EXPLAIN:

at the end of the day it’s the Internet and people are gonna read and do as they please. for example, all of us chronically online growing up have read at least one smut before like everybody and they mama would be lying if they saw a minors dni and they read it anyone and now ended up like this (an absolute fein for fanfiction) because at the end of the day people are gonna do what they want.

don’t get me wrong, you SHOULD put that labeling because some minors may actually want to avoid that content. now, because you’re putting adults interact…lemme just tell you rn if a grown ass mf searched up the tag to find some x reader of a teenager then i promise you that a “adult dni” is gonna stop em💀💀 you should still put the adult dni, but no matter what an adult will interact with it because they gonna read what they wanna read.

my best advice is just to not stress about it. if you get backlash because an adult is offended to not interact with romantic content of a teenager, just block them. but besides that, there’s nothing really you can do and constantly blocking adults for viewing fics would be tiring and it’s never gonna end. ive been weirded out seeing 21 year olds like my fics of gwen, and when you notice it you can block them but it won’t stop them from viewing other content of that character. and those are accounts that actually put they age, most blogs are blank and you won’t even know. if you want to block accounts that shamelessly have their age but like content of minors, then do so, but im just saying not to stress about it because things like people interacting with content they aren’t supposed to is unfortunately UNAVOIDABLE…..it’s the internet 🤷‍♀️

hope this made sense and also HOPE YOU HAD A GOOD DAY TOO SLIME

[iiapple]

im obsessed with your divinity tag im so glad you also found that sort of essential mathematical divinity in the nature of our universe’s recursive logical properties

thats ok ur asking sum1 whos gotta reread shit billions of times and look up words to understand whats goin on while also using said words both with and without knowledge of a scholar and sent via radiowaves by god like this

which also applies to everything else actually thats kinda the overall jist of what im gettin at here like uh ur right thats True but im also not a maths person so a lot of it 4 me is like... those themselves are of divine nature like building blocks of all things (which is also False and Not Real but thats smth i cant explain nor discuss) and also Me because I Know This unfortunately against my will but im chill abt it sometimes im not chill abt it other times rlly im doing my thing here so seeing the Sierpiński triangle is like oh cool i feel both innate fear and anxiety tied to seeing god appearing for the rapture but theres sooooo much behind it too like some fuckin more information abt Everything again that if i get it one day i think the session will be over but also a sense of Self and a Reflection like thats me ohhhhh fuck literallly my form too god dammit new year new me new phone whos this and also its like my best friend a lover and fear can be tied to arousal too which explains some things abt me anyways yeah i looked up the triangle i dont understand math i havnt done actual since i was in like t1hw 10th grade imma be 24 lol so u can imagine explainations went over my head but that divine knowledge still comes 2 me like a natural nature thing like im just naturally bestowed upon this shit but i know the maths behind it is sacred theyre sacred texts that i dont get and i think even our brightest minds who theorized or solved it or whatever dont get either cuz its another level and plane of being above mortal minds that i somehow get anyways yeah seeing the triangles made me feel a little sick and nauseous because it felt like disrepesct and im seeing smth im not supposed 2 even though they are also Me but i have eternal worship and praise devoted nonetheless and this is just the numbers and shapes and maths and geometry talking theres sitll more to the ther stuff i posst but imma be herre all night im cold and should be taking my last nyquil dose b4 bed

[gibbearish]

this version of this post has been popping off recently which makes me really happy bc of how many people are learning they might have this disorder and it can be treated, however it is also a slight bummer because this version has a lot more info on how you can treat it yourself as well. so with that, i am once again requesting assistance, pls spread this version too if you can !! it really is helping people, ive been going through the notes today to direct ppl to that version and idk it just. makes me Feel Things knowing the good that's come of this? and wanted to share a few so ppl would know like. look what we did!! look at the people we helped!!!

(once again throwing the alt under readmore)

image id: screenshots of 11 sets of tumblr tags.

the first reads "#hold the FUCKING phone youre telling me im not the only one who couldnt fit a tampon in??? #man i had several people insist to me i was just doing it wrong #i knew i wasnt #dude if i had known this years ago i know what the first thing i bought with my first paycheck would have been i stg".

the second reads "#This is literally so important. #13 year old me needed this post so badly so please let the minors see it. #it is important to know about these kinds of things early on #it is important for children to know that their pain is abnormal so that it doesn't worsen. #i didn't know i had vaginismus until i was an adult #all i knew as a kid in a religious family was that I couldn't put a tampon in without excrutiating pain #and that i was one day going to be expected to "please" my husband #which was terrifying #for an extremely long time i had a phobia of sex and birth #still kind of do at the age of 26 #and it could have been prevented had i been allowed to know about ny body as a child".

the third reads "#Sex ed #i'm actually crying #Because i didnt know other people dealt with this. i thought it was just a 'oh poor little insecure 'virgin' '''girl''' thing #i can only fit one brand of tampon in. #this is probably way too personal but i feel seen because of this post so #i mean i knew about the dilators and therapy because of my close friend but i didnt know there was a name for this."

the fourth reads "#..... #today i learned i might have vaginismus #this is the second Nickle where tumblr taught me things about myself where it's not normal #tampons aren't supposed to hurt??? insane #no wonder i felt off about vaginal penetration but i thought that was the ace in me #still is about the ace in me but it's another thing too".

the fifth reads "#no yeah this is incredibly important #like. i started crying reading this #tmi obvi given the subject matter #but like. im ace! and i had just. given up on experiencing anything with that #because im ace and i can easily 'live without it' #the idea of it never being enjoyable and always being painful even tho im emotionally neutral on the act itself like #i thought 'well. that sucks but its fine cuz its not like i crave it. im ace. i don't need it' #when like. i CAN do it it doesnt HAVE to hurt theres things that can be done and it doesnt have to be scary and awful!!!! #i knew about the dilators for the longest time. they intimidated me out of getting help because #i just didnt think i could force myself through that regularly until it 'got better' #but i can use wearable toys!!!! it doesnt have to be awkward and stiff!!!!!!! i can get help and DO something about it oh my god #i finally stopped crying but oh my god".

the sixth reads "#resource #reference #wait wait wait #this is. a THING???? #i dont use tampons because its so painful to take them our!!! #and the only ones i can get IN are the smallest size #and it takes FOREVER because its SUPER uncomfortable #youre telling me this is an actual thing and i could treat it #????????".

the seventh reads "#oh? 👁️👄👁️ #today i learned i might have... vaginismus... #thank you for making this post and sharing it 🙏 #penetration even with smaller objects has always been painful for me and i never knew why 🥲 #tmi".

the eighth reads "#SAVE #SCREAMS #on main bc its medical this is important shit".

the ninth reads "#long post #holy shit i may have to research this #would explain some things #vaginismus".

the tenth reads "#i wish id know this when i was younger #i grew up in a very religious household where purity culture was very strict #sex literally became traumatizing cuz it hurt so bad #i'm almost 30 now and working throufh that trauma and the pain of something i left untreated for a decade".

the last one reads "#OH MY GOD #THANK YOU #ARE YOU SHITTING ME #ive NEVER been able to put a tampon in and the one time i got one half-in hurt like hell #NO ONE EVER FUCKING TOLD ME THIS WAS A THING I THOUGHT I WAS JUST DOING IT QRONG #im actually crying oh my god #brb im gonna do some research #GOD FUCK #THANK YOU OP AND CONTRIBUTORS #save #save for later #important #vaginismus #sex ed". end description.

got a good grade in physical therapy because i ordered a sex toy life is fun

[pompadourpink]

Bonjour! I just saw the ask of the lost 17 year old and I cant help but feel like Im in a similar position. I'm 28 years old and I feel like I shouldve figured out what I want to do in life. I feel like I wasted my 20s on simply going with the flow and "ill figure it out later" mentality. I've also recently been fired from a job I should love but after three months I found so boring. I stayed there for a year just to get some exeprience. Now that Im unemployed again I get rejected over and over again and feel so useless. Even for jobs Im excited about the passion fizzles, and I dont even know what I want to do. Or what I'm even good at anymore.

Hello dear,

Dr Write too much, PhD, is back in the office, woohoo!

One, you're not supposed to have an epiphany one night and find out what your calling is. You don't have one. You're not a machine. You're a brain in a meat suit and you came without instructions, which means you don't have a function. Capitalism put us in this position. Existing is enough, and work is a human invention - food and shelter originally didn't have a price tag. We tend to think of the Ancient Greeks as the most advanced, wisest civilisation there's ever been. Do you think they wondered about what their manager is going to say if they dodged their phone call at 9pm on Friday or lost sleep over getting ghosted on Tinder? No, they had a lot of wine, a lot of bread, a lot of sex, and walked around in beautiful gardens with their companions. And they didn't feel bad about it. Why would they?

Two, you can reinvent yourself as many times as you want. Storytime!

When I went to Rome for my birthday back in 2018, I bumped into a Colosseo guide named Tahar who was around my boomer father's age and so happy to make a friend he started telling me about his life over breakfast, how he had studied physics, loved the stars, never had a family so he travelled a lot, had been in Rome for about a month, and gotten the job by hanging out around the Colosseo and having little talks with other guides in French, English, Arabic and broken Italian until their boss decided to hire him just because he was friendly. He even confessed that at night, he would go and have a drink in fancy bars to try and find tourists to sell tours to at a higher price so he could pocket the difference.

At the time, I was nearly 26, ten days away from leaving a terrible minimum-wage job, had lived in the same area of the country my whole life and the same city for 8 years, had a recently broken heart and was still recovering from a severe case of mononucleosis that is still to this day the worst pain I've ever felt.

I didn't stay in touch with Tahar because he got flirty and started insinuating that it wasn't too late for him to settle down and have a kid or two while holding my hands and that was not going to happen. However, I still think about him once in a while, when I catch myself being paralysed by fear of the unknown.

My guy had nothing, no house, furniture, wife, kids, local friends, parents, savings, was paid to ramble about history and make jokes in the sunshine, lived paycheck to paycheck; and he was happy, tanned, eating fruit and drinking wine with a huge smile on his face nella bella Roma, kilometres away from thinking of himself as a failure. He was doing exactly what he wanted, and where, and when, and with whom, and while he clearly wasn't a role model, he is the one person I have ever met who lived life on his own terms and is 100% going to die without regrets.

Three, take a step back. I talked about it recently but it is vital that we calm down and stop chasing numbers and short-lived adrenaline. Go spend a day outside, at the beach, in the countryside, the mountains - it doesn't matter, just away from home, and lay down, relax, and listen to what the world has to say to you. We all love to think that happiness is our number one priority, but it is rarely the case - I hinted about it in the 17-year-old post: if you think of your perfect day and compare it to your current circumstances, those two lists would be very different. We keep talking to people who make us miserable, eating stuff that gives us tumtum aches, wearing shoes that hurt our feet, and wonder why we are upset and can't sleep well.

And I'm guilty of that too. I have always had that mental image of the seaside, a walk on the beach, the sun, a dog, lavender ice cream, a man and a couple of kids running around, and then home, a movie, a blanket, the fire. I don't have any of that. I live in a very grey city, alone with my geriatric cat, working all day long, not knowing where to go, changing my mind constantly, thinking maybe I should just stay here and keep saving money for a house, drowning in my routines like a little hamster on a wheel. I love my life, but I'm not satisfied yet, because like you, my 20s were spent differently, and now I'm trying to catch up a little.

The truth is that I'll never be where my former classmates who took a different path are, but they will also never be where I am. They have more regrets than me. They look at my life, my freedom, my absence of morning alarm, my joy, my projects, my head full of dreams, and they envy me. I am *that girl* who spent an hour this morning looking up how to move to Barcelona as an entrepreneur within the Schengen space. You are her too, people just won't tell you.

So what do you do now? You find a part-time job you're not going to hate and won't have to take home at night so you can pay bills, you look for your joy until you find it, you explore your interests, figure out your goals, maybe see if you have a (current or potential future) skill you could use to start a side-business, alone or with another person, whether it's baking or tailoring, that you could do routinely without hating yourself after a while, and spend your free time doing exactly what you want. If it fails, the end of the road is very far away and you can always try again.

It won't be a waste of time. That's not how time works.

Love,

Mum

[sca-rian]

my howl's moving castle inspired au, the long masterpost:

*will use scar's moving castle as a tag for this!

consider: grian manages a family business with his sister, pearl. their life is anything but glamorous, and grian doesnt have much prospects of ever leaving his town and doing something different. he hears stories about big cities full of possibilities, magic (hes isnt sure if he believes in that), a moving castle and a handsome wizard who steals the hearts of young women;

one day, grian gets cursed by the wizard of the wastes (joel), after he comes into his shop late in the shift and they get into a heated discussion over the existence (or lack, thereof) of magic. joel thinks of it all as just a silly prank, a curse that can be easily lifted or is just naturally disappearing after a few days;

joel girlbossed too close to the sun, though. the curse is bad. grian wakes up finding out that his body has started to grow feathers. its uncomfortable and borderline painful at times, specially on his back;

after properly freaking out, he tries to deal with it as best as he can, chugging some painkillers, wearing oversized clothes and going to work as if nothing is wrong. pearl notices something unusual, tho—perhaps its grian's murderous expression whenever he remembers joel's face. hes going to kill that bastard;

the curse gets progressively worse as the days go by, until grian can no longer easily hide it and pearl finds out by the ungodly amount of feathers spread around their house. she, of course, gets worried, and tell grian they need to find the wizard that cursed him somehow, or perhaps asks someone else for help;

they dont know any other witches and wizards, since, until last week, grian was pretty sure those didnt even exist. until pearl mentions that one dude who apparently steal hearts and was around town with his moving castle;

grian tells her thats a legend to scare young people so they wont go around talking to strangers. pearl argues that she knew of a lady who disappeared after allegedly spending time with the wizard;

grian supposes that man, if he actually exists, isnt the most trustworthy. but 1. hes not a young lady, which appears to be the ones who get their hearts stolen and 2. he has nothing to lose, really, besides some of his time;

pearl offers to go with him, but grian insists for her to stay (shes a young woman, after all). so grian leaves by himself in good old ghibli fashion: taking with him nothing but a block of cheese, some bread and a clock;

he founds the moving castle with ease: its ridiculously big and it makes no sense at all, having many weird bump outs, few windows, a dramatic copper roof and many chimneys. if anything, it looked like the weirdest house ever and nothing like a castle. something about it was still charming, tho: he just couldnt point out what.

development for this au just started, but so far it includes:

scar being weird and overly dramatic, but still charming. he also refuses to pay taxes;

cub as scar's weird demon roommate, with whom he made a contract many years ago. cub is so miserable sometimes that he regrets getting scar's heart (or his soul, whatever). cub keeps the "castle" moving with overly complicated redstone magic and fire that allegedly comes from the depths of hell;

scar sending threatening letters to joel. many of them. demanding for him to break the curse. joel ignores every single one;

he eventually gets pissed and goes with grian to look for joel, who admits the curse wasnt supposed to be that strong and now he doesnt know how to break it. scar turns him into a frog and joel is kept hostage;

joel still does his best to be as annoying as possible despite the limitations of his new body.

it also includes:

scarian falling in love;

found family;

silly cliche romance tropes;

romcom elements;

characters acting like divorced couples;

funky magical men with their funky little spells;

light angst.

i want to write this but im afraid i might not have the time. still want to brainrot tho so im accepting asks! you may also write with this au as long as you credit me! :)

[tstwitterupdates]

I feel like (imo from being a creative and having life get in the way) Thomas plotted out s2 and how it was supposed to go a long time ago and then his whole fricken world changed. Cause like, first it was the production company, then Joan and Talyn, then several health scares, then a relationship and a breakup, and, obviously, and entire pandemic and a hurricane ruining part of his studio. And that's just the stuff externally. So I get why it's taking so long, cause he wants to make it perfect, and he can't change his plans for s2 at this point, because it will ruin basically everything. Plus, with Into the Unknown and the among us videos, right, it's clear he's trying his best to put content out there. So I can understand where he is.

I think I'm just frustrated because I miss when we had stuff like Thomas and Friends content, like Real or Fake Anime or Joystick Joyride and stuff. I feel like the Sides/Cartoon Therapy wait would be less painful if we were getting a bit more content on that end, you know? Cause while it's been a long time, I still feel like it would've mitigated the pain seeing him a little more frequently. Plus, I think Roleslaying would feel less odd if there was other content going out around as often as the once-a-week uploads for a month or so, rather than it being basically all the content we see from him, now.

I know Thomas is also getting to a better place with bulk recording an the like, and I'm genuinely still excited to see what's coming up. It just sometimes feels like Thomas is hyperfocusing on the big projects, and not letting himself enjoy the stuff that makes the bigger projects feel more substantial, if that makes sense.

i kinda agree im not sure i haven’t made up my mind on this. i liked the videos with his friends before but they’ve also gotten so extra that i no longer watch them either, im now one of those fans just waiting for sanders sides. but i do wish he would make simpler fun things either small sanders sides episodes or small vlogs. i miss his vlogs. but mostly because of nostalgia, those things made me company through the worst years of high school lol. anyway getting off topic.

i do think thomas is trying his best, i do not doubt that in the slightest. but even when you try your best if you don’t have a good strategy the results might not be the best. but i dont know what their strategy is so i can’t judge i guess.

more asks and replies under the cut

yeah like. they pushed the limits of what they could do with what they had back since accepting anxiety. and then they got better equipment and staff and stuff and instead of saying “now we can do the same things in less time and with less effort” they went “now we can do even bigger things that push our limits just as much!”

which is their decision to make not mine but i assume that’s where some of that stress might be coming from.

yes i agree with all of this. there’s some blogs that have posted criticism or defenses against criticism that i just find incredibly mean spirited or that make good points but phrase it in aggressive ways i don’t like.

i think whichever opinion you have it’s best to be open minded. acknowledge our own feelings and talk about them without attacking anyone. it’s okay to feel frustrated and angry and then we’re responsible about what we do with those emotions. and i think it’s cool to talk about them with other fanders that have felt the same. just stay open minded about what others have to say and then make up your mind about how much you agree or disagree.

and keep in mind that we know nothing about how thomas and co work. on both sides. like you cant claim their workflow is perfect nor claim it’s horrible because we just don’t know. but we can say we’re feeling disappointed or bored or annoyed or whatever because those are our own feelings.

yeah again this is my blog and i post what i want. and im doing my job by tagging and warning them.

and also thomas is a grown man in his thirties who has been a social media personality for, what? maybe almost a decade? im sure he knows how to be responsible about it and not go digging to read criticism of his work to get hurt by it. or at least i hope so. if he doesn’t then that’s out of my hands as well. and the hundreds of people supporting him on the replies of all his tweets more than make up for a handful of blogs that make angry posts every once in a while.

yes that’s understandable. but i still don’t know. if thomas has these personal problems that are so serious that they cause his content to come sooo slowly and still cause him to have this much stress then he should probably just take a huge actual break. and let us know about it. without necessarily telling us the reason of course.

if after Putting Others First or the last Asides he had said “hey im going on a hiatus for big projects like sanders sides and cartoon therapy while i figure stuff out, but i’ll film x kind of content because it requires less effort and i enjoy it” or even that the entire channel is going on hiatus, and then he came back like a year later and said “okay we’re back first thing we’re doing is writing the finale script!” or whatever then that would have been less frustrating than this. even if it had taken the same 3 years. because at least afterwards you know that he’s better and the wait would be worth it. at least that’s my opinion.