#also fed up how long it takes my game to load

[corrienteallita]

Loading my game to play the new event...

Can't just play the game can I? No, got to faff with it to make the damn thing work.

NOT IN THE MOOD.

Back to Stardew Valley until I find the patience for faffery.

[blondykebarbie]

🏳️‍🌈Marauders at Pride🏳️‍🌈

(Reader is implied to be queer in some way)

James Potter

- Jamie definitely puts pride flag temporary tattoos on both of his cheeks

- He carries you on his shoulders when your feet get too tired to walk

- He’s buying goodies from so many local queer businesses while he’s there because he wants to give back, treat you, and also get stuff for himself

- I hc that james is queer but this would probably be his first pride parade and he’s so happy he gets to go with you

- imo he’s built for the heat and the long day so trust he has the drinks, snacks, etc. to support the both of you throughout the entirety of your time there

- makes the cutest, darlingest post of the two of you, and the cover photo is one of you on his shoulders

Sirius Black

- two words: body glitter. So much of it. He has enough to go around

- 100% wears the flag of his identity like a cape

- makes the two of you wear those obnoxious couple shirts that have arrows pointing to each other saying “that’s my ____” but it would be like, “that’s my bi/pan/ace boyfriend/girlfriend”… whatever you identify with, and your shirt would have the same for him

- this bitch KNOWS how to use a paper fan and he fucking flaunts it. Will keep both of you cool and also teach you how to use one

- he complains about pride being too early and calls it “homophobic” so you appease him with an energy drink

- only gay music all day

Remus Lupin

- I really don’t think pride is Remus’ thing. It’s loud and hot and physically demanding. But, he will go with you for a few hours!

- The two of you find a nice spot to sit in the shade and watch the parade

- he wears a ton of colorful string bracelets based on your and his identities!

- knows like all the music at the parade and hums along under his breath

- he doesn’t want that many pictures for himself but he’s insistent upon snapping a trillion photos of you for your Instagram (so that he can comment so many lovely words later)

- Remus is a happy camper when you leave pride early and take him to a queer book shops instead where it’s quiet and cool (and you are very happy to oblige him)

Peter Pettigrew

- oh my god he cannot stand the heat, so he buys an electric fan beforehand and also a baseball cap to protect himself from the sun (he will burn)

- is happy to be there because you’re happy to be there!

- he’s all in on the various carnival games set up and the live music

- you buy the two of you ice cream to help cool off from the heat

- takes allllll the free stuff. I mean he has a loaded bag by the end. I especially think he goes crazy for the stickers

- you guys end your night cuddling and watching a queer film

Lily Evans

- she is prepped and ready to go. I mean she’s got sunscreen (our poor girl will burn if she doesn’t), fans, water, portable chargers, snacks, hair ties… all in a fanny pack

- I can’t help but imagine her outfit… the sweetest sundress, sunglasses, and her hair in intricate braids to keep her thick hair out of her face. And she definitely has ribbons tied into her hair that match her pride flag colors

- digi cam queen!!! She’s taking so many pictures of you, her and the two of you together. She’s also so quick to send them to you

- our queen is responsible, so she’s 100% well-fed and rested to do pride all day long

- she wants to see and do everything with you!! You’re stopping at every booth, game, live music performance

- uhm yall have phenomenal post-pride sex

Mary MacDonald

- she’s got the prettiest makeup. Her eyeshadow matches the colors of her pride flag!!!

- she’s bringing her emotional support water bottle to pride and it’s covered in stickers and charms

- Mary somehow makes friends with everyone the two of you meet at pride

- she dances with you along to the music in the middle of the street, grass, etc.

- she insists on doing your makeup/face paint/tattoos/stickers (whatever you choose) for pride

- Mary thrives at pride

Marlene McKinnon

- jorts

- sleeveless tank

- needs to show off all of her tattoos and piercings

- I suspect she’ll get inspiration from other people at pride and go out shortly after to get more

- you are her cover photo on her pride Instagram post

- she’s going to pride with the intention to get a little high or tipsy

- I think she’s always handsy with you but she especially wants to show you off at pride

- her phone dies at pride and she gets a little burnt because she’s underprepared

Dorcas Meadowes

- you better be jealous cuz everyone is staring at Dorcas at pride. She looks like a literal angel

- also wearing a shit ton of body glitter

- she has a million little pride flags to pass out to people

- you are her photographer (ofc she is obsessed with you and will take photos of you too, but let’s be honest she’s stealing the show)

- somehow ends up being invited to walk in the parade and drags you along with her

- has acrylics matching her pride flag

Regulus Black

- you’re not getting him there

- im sorry he loves you, he loves being queer but he’d die.

- it’s loud, busy, he’d burn so bad, and people generally annoy him

- but I promise you he’s doing something super sweet all of June to celebrate you

- ofc gets a pride flag up in your home- one of the big ones

- gets you a sweet gift and flowers

- takes all your queer book recs

- and you do the same for him even though he’s shy about it

[pbandjesse]

Goodness what a day. 13 hours outside of the house. Sylvia was such a trooper. James was an incredible support. I am so exhausted. My whole body is aching. But man am I happy. This is probably the best I have felt in a while. And I'm only being slightly hyperbolic.

I didn't sleep amazing. I was nervous for today and I struggled to turn off my brain. But I did go to sleep around 1.

When I woke up I was feeling determined. I got dressed and got the last things I needed. James and Sylvia were waiting for me. Everyone has breakfast and was ready to go.

Sylvia was just such an amazing little girl today. We got the last couple things in the car and we were off.

We arrived at camp and it was basically go go go. I wouldn't sit down for hours. I focused on finishing my set up. Getting Sylvia comfortable. James fed her once we got to camp and I went to get my walkie and an updated map. I went to the check in area and started the ball rolling. I labeled all the tables and had to move a few things around but I was really on my game today and that was just awesome.

We had brought Sylvia's chair and I put her in her teddy bear sweatshirt. And she was just chilling and happy. James needed to go do something and I decided to bring her across the field in the wagon. With her chair in the wagon. And it was so funny looking to me but she seemed happy enough. She was just so happy and calm today. She just seemed happy to be there and watching the world.

There was some load in traffic issues. What else is new. But I was peppy and kind and tried to make everyone else feel that way too. I think having a clipboard helped. Made me look like I knew what was up.

At 11 basically everyone was here and setting up. We had a really excellent variety of makers and food. The weather was perfect and it was shaping up to be a really wonderful day.

My foot and ankle were hurting and I had just assumed it was my arthritis or something but I realized that my ankle was swollen! I think I twisted it falling on the hill yesterday. Ouchie. Everyone yelled at me for not icing it. I promise to do that when we get home tonight. No time for that now. There is a market to run.

People started coming. 600 tickets sold before we opened and probably another hundred sold. By the end of the day there was approximately 1000 on the property. It was amazing to see honestly. And what a wonderful crowd it was. Lots of kids and babies. We would meet a 13 week old baby! And a 7 month old who looked so much like her parents it was wild. She would want to play with Sylvia and pulled on her hands and feet and it was so cute how much this bigger baby was fascinated by my little baby. I can't wait to meet more of Sylvia's personality.

The day was very long but it felt good. We had a good thing going. Sylvia would take naps but when she was awake we were dancing and taking walks and just enjoying the day. The music wasn't to loud so she was able to lose the headphones. She slept through a lot of the music so I wasn't to worried about it. It also never got to hot so we didn't need her fan. Honestly for a lot of the day we kept a blanket on her because her feet seemed cold. We put socks on her but still. Chilly feeties.

I made lots of sales. With my total being close to $500! Amazing! The best thing though was just seeing kids playing with my bears and frogs. Seeing them loving them was so sweet. I did have to repair two that were played with a little to hard. But then I seemed magical because I was able to fix them so fast.

I got to catch up with friends. Both from camp and markets. Callie was volunteering so I stopped by hot dogs to get a little lunch and she held Sylvia for a bit. I loved showing my baby off all day. She's just such a good little girl!! She's the best.

I would periodically check on my vendors. Making friends and making sure they didn't need help. I just wanted everyone to feel supported. And I was so proud of them for all their hard work but also their sales! One of my vendors said this was her single best day she's ever had at a market! She celebrated with a beer and was talking silly ('jesse we are basically minting money!!!').

James would take some walks too. They jumped in to help with whoever needed it. And they allowed me to make my rounds and check on people but also just enjoy the day.

Once Callie was done her volunteering she joined us at the table and was just fawning over our baby. Eventually though we went to get street corn from the taco truck. Which was $4 and fantastic. We sat together at the lodge and shared the corn and talked and I was feeling happy and social and just a little silly. It was a good day.

But it was long. We would have lots of sales and silly moments. Like when a boy and his sister's boyfriend came to buy frogs. One specifically for her. And the boyfriend was so sweet and earnest. I helped him pick the tiniest blue frog with roses on it. And let him pick a sticker for fee and he picked the pumpkin one because her birthday is Halloween..I told him when he filled out the frogs birth certificate to put both of their names because his girlfriend would surely love that. Ah young love.

James was such a huge support today and I just loved being with them and hugging them and joking with them and seeing them love our baby. Singing and dancing with her. I love our little family.

Around 6 I went to check on everyone and confirmed some times about load out. And of course load out was a whole mess because there is only so much you can do with the way the field is laid out. But I had a half a plan

I would have different vendors packing up at different times. Had some parked by the art building and some by the lodge and some by the office. I thought it I could keep them from bottlenecking the trading post we would get out quicker.

And honestly all things considered that worked out well.

Celia would come towards the end. She ended up helping with the beer truck for a while. Before coming to help us with clean up. Me and James were a well oiled machine though and has gotten everything out in boxes and James was walking things up to the car. I would give Celia my music festival shirt because I didn't want to keep it anyway. And she would walk around with me while I coordinated getting people out.

There was a kink in the plan when someone passed out and an ambulance had to be called. But they were taken care of and the last band wrapped up and then we were all figuring out how to get everyone out.

Coordinating the gator was difficult. And eventually we just allowed people to carefully drive around the field. Alexi's daughter Louisa held Sylvia for most the clean up. Super helpful child thank you.

There was a lot of just general chit chat among the vendors while people waited for the gater to help move things. But once the bands took over the gator we decided to just let people use their cars as long as they stayed to the sides of the field. And for the most part that worked out. We just really didn't want the grass getting torn up from cars going on the middle. But thankfully, even though some people broke that rule, the grass seemed fine for the wedding next weekend.

I would go to the office to do a quick debrief with Elizabeth and Heather. And picked up a few shifts for field trips this month. With baby in tow. I'm excited. I hope that it goes smoothly. I got hugs from Heather and she read me a thank you email that a vendor already sent. It was awesome. Like seriously what a wonderful day.

James was helping carry some merch back to the office when I came to find them. Sylvia was awake and seemingly happy but it was past her bedtime by an hour. And I was just ready to go home.

My last vendors were driving away. So we said goodbye and goodnight and headed home ourselves.

And we are so beat. Writing this on the drive home was difficult because I kept staring into the middle distance because I was so tired. But we got home. And I brought Sylvia right upstairs. Changed quickly. Jammies. And right into her bassinet and she was out. I am so grateful for her. She is just an amazing baby and I am so lucky. And I know she'll be different and change everyday but today she let me have this and now she is going to let us rest. I have no idea how it may mess up her sleep tonight and if she'll wake up at weird times. But that's alright. Today was my mother's day gift from her.

And that's an exciting thing! I have unlocked a new holiday! I get to celebrate mother's Day from the receiving end!! James has promised me crepes and a balloon. And my parents are coming to visit. And I am just so loved and so lucky and also so very very tired.

I'm going to take a shower and ice my ankle and hopefully sleep like the dead.

I love you all. Thank you for reading. Goodnight!!

[bit-b]

AI *F*ART

------------------------------ Note: Please do not harass, intimidate, threaten or doxx the person being discussed here. Names and genders have been censored for this reason. No disagreement is worth hurting someone over. ------------------------------

I was typing out this as a reply to a specific person with some dubious takes. But I think it applies to everyone. So I’m gonna rework this and make it a tiny bit more general.

This all comes from someone who got upset by a post that was being critical about AI technology. They were clapping back at anyone clowning on tech-bros in the comments.

I admit that I was on the clowning side of things. And my points were more for comedic value, and not to make any solid arguments. But after getting replies from this person citing some flaws in my logic, I decided to play ball and listen to their side.

My main question I had for them was: “What are the benefits of using an AI to generate a base picture instead of having a human artist do all the work?”

Their response was:

1. It's thousands of times faster. 2. It's far higher quality than most artists are capable of producing. Even with the occasional fucked up hands that need to be edited.

------------------------------

Let’s cover the first one.

This person uses indie game devs as the base for their argument.

People tend to have a limited amount of time on their hands. And making a bunch of art from-scratch takes up a LOT of that time.

In all this time, a person will need to pay for food and shelter. So they’ll either need to have a lot of money, or will need to save up to be able to dedicate their time to the project.

Now, I also wanna add the option of working on the project in the background for as long as needed. Though, this method also has its own costs/benefits. The main drawback would be the MUCH longer time it would take to complete.

There’s also the option to bring other people on board. That said, everyone would have to operate under the expectation that no one is being compensated for their work unless a successful product is made. Everyone would have to be really passionate about the vision of the project for a scenario like this to work.

For an indie, I can see how using AI would be tempting.

However, what isn’t being accounted for is the original artists whose art was loaded into these AI models.

Their art represents decades of personal practice. Skills honed by passionate people that wanted to bring their visions to life. This is why work like theirs tends to be compensated for. Or at the very least, credited.

In a good number of cases, artists don’t want their finished work to be fed into an AI model.

With current AI ethics, original artists are usually not credited or compensated. And the images generated from these AI models get used for all manner of projects that the original artist didn’t consent to.

In cases described above, the indie devs would be effectively stealing the artists’ work, mashing it up a bunch, and reselling it to their customers. All without getting consent. And the artists would receive no financial compensation or credit for their work.

So if I’m interpreting this right, this person values the speed and efficiency of indie development over properly crediting and paying the artists that made these AI tools possible to begin with.

And this person, according to their own words, believes that giving artists the ability to use the tools counts as compensation. They believe artists should start using AI and stop complaining. “[Adapt to the times]”, more-or-less.

I don’t subscribe to ANY of the mentality here. To me, It’s basically a person demanding others do what they say. All because they wanna have a fun little toy that allows them to get away with not paying or crediting people.

------------------------------

Now, how ‘bout the second point.

“It’s far higher quality than most artists are capable of producing. Even with the occasional fucked up hands that need to be edited.”

I want to point out that art quality is a subjective thing. “High quality” boils down to people’s individual interpretations.

In my opinion, a lot of the AI images I’ve seen are extremely similar in color composition, have very repetitive layouts, and most contain plenty of the telltale flaws of AI generation (weird hands, text, plants, architecture, etc.). 

AI images lack any kind of specific flavor that makes human-made art unique. With an art piece made by a person, you get stuff like unique lineart, quality shading, distinctive color palettes, dynamic poses, noteworthy or relevant emotions on faces. All-in-all, a more personal art piece. And a chance to work with a pretty cool person.

So to me, I don’t consider quality to be a solid reason to use AI-generated images. If anything, the opposite is true, and your quality is significantly hurt from using these tools.

As long as legal statutes aren’t set, no one can stop a person from using AI to generate assets for projects. However, using them is ethically dubious. It showcases the lack of quality and effort a person wants to put into their work. And it really reveals how a person ACTUALLY feels about what they’re selling.

------------------------------

Another point made had to do with open-source software.

This person noted how much open-source software has helped people. They stated that artists are being selfish for not allowing their work to be used when programmers have been contributing their code for free.

The difference is that when a programmer starts coding around someone's open-source code, there's an express knowledge that they're making something under an open-source license.

When a base set of code is made under an open-source license, it's dictated that other people can take that code and trade it around and modify it in whatever ways they want, as long as they ALSO operate under a similar or exact open-source license. It’s also usually required to link back to the original source.

Now, if an artist really wanted to, there’s nothing stopping them from creating art exclusively to feed it into AI models. Heck, someone could get a community of artists together with the goal of drawing art for the sole purpose of feeding it into AI. Everyone in that group could properly consent, and accept the terms of this kind of agreement.

Problem is, most AI initiatives aren’t set up like that. They collect art from all over the internet, generate new pictures out of them, and assume that the original artists will be cool with it. It’s actively taking the choice away from people. And stripping their names out in the process.

Open-source software has a reasonable setup that facilitates sharing and modifying for free. The legal groundwork for AI images do not. And until some proper ethics and legalese are put in place, AI image models will continue to hold a reputation for undercutting and undermining artists.

------------------------------

This person offered up a bunch of other options for artists to consider instead of only focusing on commissions. Stuff like:

Making a game and using their art as assets for it. Using an engine like Ren'Py, which is open-source.

This implies that artists are gonna wanna make games in the first place. Making games and making art are two different things. They have overlapping parts, but the interests are not the same.

Also, it’s not as simple as that. You still need to learn how to use a game engine. While it’s easier than starting from scratch, not everyone’s a whizz at coding and programming.

It would take time to learn. An artist can’t just swap skill sets at the drop of a hat. And they might spend all this time learning this new skill (one that isn’t even a passion of theirs) to end up having poor sales and failing in their new endeavors.

Learn to 3D model. AI can’t do that yet. And won’t for probably a decade. And if it does learn, then learn how to rig your models for VR games like VRChat.

Once again, there’s overlapping interests. But 3D modeling is not a simple skill to learn, and a lot of 2D artistic skills don’t translate over to 3D.

As someone who has made his own 3D model from scratch, I can tell you that it is NOT simple. And there’s mountains of tools and functions that you’re gonna need to learn to make 3D modeling a viable skill to profit off of.

And, wait. If AI learns to 3D model, this person’s next suggestion is to learn to rig models for VR?

Realistically, what’s stopping programmers from setting up the AI to automatically rig models? I know of a bunch of plugins for Blender that already exist that do that sort of thing. A tiny bit of human correction, and auto-rigging can be pretty easy.

------------------------------

So in summation: This person wants 2D artists to toss out a perfectly valuable skill they spent years perfecting, let an AI do it, and learn other artistic skills that they might not like, or aren’t adept for. All to make a bunch of non-artists happy? People who show little to no respect for the skill it takes to make art happen?

And the really delicious irony about all of this? They’re suggesting that artists should go learn new skills to survive new AI technologies, when THIS PERSON could practice what they preach and go learn new techniques that could improve their ability to draw.

Brush up on some skills that help with quality. Pick up tricks that improve output speed. Work on mastering the ability to draw EXACTLY the thing envisioned in your head.

The best part of doing it that way: you’re not screwing over a bunch of innocent people just to make a picture of an anime babe.

[linearproteinbar]

Fuel Without the Toxins: Discover the No Seed Oil Protein Bar

I used to think I was making all the right choices. I would pick up a so-called "healthy" protein bar from the snack shelf at the gym something gluten-free, high protein, low carb, you name it-all the usual promises. I was counting my macros, tallying up my workout times, avoiding sugar as if it were poison. But something still felt off. My energy would crash. I’d feel bloated. And worst of all, I couldn’t explain the sluggish brain fog that followed an otherwise clean snack.

The culprit? Seed oils. Hidden in plain sight, quietly listed among the ingredients.

That’s when I discovered the game-changer: the No Seed Oil Protein Bar.

This blog isn’t just another “eat-this-not-that” piece. It’s a breakdown of why no seed oil protein bars are taking over clean nutrition conversations and why it may be time for you to rethink your own snack drawer.

The Hidden Danger in Your Favorite Protein Bar

Processing of most foods involves oils of seed. Canola oils, soybean oils, sunflower oils, safflower oils, cottonseed oils, and grapeseed oils are among these. While they up for sale quite often as heart-healthy oils and frowned upon as unhealthy, once refined and chemically treated, they become one of the worst sorts of oils to consume. Oils are generally extracted at such high temperatures which, combined with the use of solvents, produce by-products that undergo oxidation. This very oxidation produces free radicals that take charge in creating inflammation inside the body.

Most of the protein bars available for sale, even those touted as healthy, use some variant of seed oils. Why? Because they're cheap and good at preserving shelf life and giving the texture that is moist. But, on the flip side, seed oils cause some very unwanted side effects: bloating, joint pain, energy crashes, and in the long run, the dreaded chronic inflammation. So on one hand, your bar may be touting 20 grams of protein, zero added sugar; on the other hand, it could be a complete detriment to your health owing to the presence of seed oil in it.

What Makes a No Seed Oil Protein Bar Different?

No-Seed-Oil Protein Bars set themselves apart by transforming inflammatory oils into nourishing natural oils. These bars are made with good-for-you ingredients such as nut butters, coconut oil, MCT oil, and cacao butter. Such healthier fats are less processed and easily digestible and also promote energy creation on a cellular basis. You also will observe that these bars tend to contain shorter ingredients lists and higher levels of quality protein sources like grass-fed whey, pea protein, or collagen than do protein isolates filled with preservatives.

Rather than just filling the stomach, No-Seed-Oil Bars energize the body. Balanced macronutrient ratios and clean ingredients produce energy that one can feel without a heavy digestive load or hormonal chaos usually put forth by seed oils. And it's the kind of thing one may simply not appreciate until they've experienced it themselves.

Clean Fuel for Better Performance

One of the first things I noticed after having shifted fully to No Seed Oil Protein Bars was the leveling out of my energy. Blood sugar spikes and rapid falls; they were no longer suddenly plaguing. Instead, some calm focused energy was present to help get through the day. That is because clean fats such as MCTs and coconut oil have an entirely different metabolic pathway-they are rapidly churned into energy instead of being stored as fat or stressing the metabolism.

This clean energy assists in accomplishing more workouts, having a sharp concentration at work, and fewer snacks in between meals. Keeping the inflammatory agents away helps to keep the skin clear, less stiff joints, and good digestion. The benefits compound, thus the noticeable difference in your recovery, sleep, and mental-physical performance will be observed.

How to Spot a Real No Seed Oil Protein Bar

A No Seed Oil Protein Bar requires extreme scrutiny of the ingredient list beyond the front-label marketing. At this point, you start noting any trace of canola, sunflower, soybean, or vegetable oil. You need to put the bar away at this stage, along with any hydrogenated oils-if there is any. Even for organic oils, they oxidize quickly, causing metabolic issues.

Better fat sources must then be observed among the ingredients. Usually, bars made using coconut oil, almond butter, or MCT oil carry the umbrella of healthy fats, working to enrich the fats while enriching texture and satisfaction. Also, be mindful of sweeteners. Clean bars tend to be sweetened naturally with ingredients such as dates, honey, or monk fruit, whereas synthetic sugar alcohols such as erythritol should never be used because they upset your stomach.

Short ingredient lists also mean much when it comes to great quality. If the ingredient list is short and doing good to recognizable components, then accepting the bar becomes easier. Look at the brand's transparency as well. Those who disclose their sourcing and manufacturing methods, along with their nutritional philosophy, quite often yield higher-quality products that hold true to clean-eating ideologies.

Real-Life Impact of Switching

The little things make the biggest difference. In this tiny transformation, my small daily snack swap to a No Seed Oil Protein Bar gave me important modifications in my daily life. More alert during workouts, fewer digestive problems, and the calmness of not needing to grab an emergency coffee by mid-afternoon! It was never a radical change, but a consistent one, and that is what we aimed for sustainable.

Something of the same nature happened to a friend of mine- a full-time working mom and a part-time marathon runner. Just after a week of replacing her protein bars for a seed oil-free one, she felt lighter, less bloated, and more satisfied during the day: "It's the first snack I've had that feels like it's helping me, not just filling a hunger gap."

The past years have brought a lot of such stories. With increasing awareness about seed oils, more and more people are finding proper alternatives to fuel their body and experiencing the benefits.

But Do They Taste Good?

Here is a bitter truth: taste matters. You can have a clean label for the product but if the bar tastes like cardboard, it will do nowhere near being eaten. Fortunately, No Seed Oil Protein Bars have not sold out the taste for nutrition; in fact, these protein bars may even taste better simply because of the whole real ingredients being used to infuse natural richness and depth.

Just imagine an exquisite blend of creamy almond butter, crunchy coconut flakes, real cacao, with just a little bit of natural sweetness added in. No oily feel and no artificial flavors from seed oils? These bars behave like more of a reward than a compromise. The brands are even playing around with new flavors above, like vanilla cashew, cinnamon almond, or chocolate hazelnut, so finding one you'll fall for is pretty easy.

Fuel the Body You Want to Keep

Today we live in an era where the food we consume actually works against us. When seed oils are listed as minor ingredients on the label, their bad effects come with the passage of time. The best part is: you really don't have to go on a complete diet change to begin feeling better; it may start with one snack.

Keeping it simple and eating one No Seed Oil Protein Bar is a choice worthy of much praise. It means you have chosen as fuel clean, helpful ingredients that perform the three things food should do-energy, repair, and nourishment. Whether it is a PR in the gym, powering through a series of meetings, or otherwise just standing to feel great, what you feed your body matters!

So the next time you grab a protein bar, stop. Flip it. Peek at the label. Question every listed oil. Be sure to pick one that supports not just your fatigue but also your goals.

“Your body is not a trash can. Feed it like it’s the vehicle for the life you want.”

Looking for a snack that’s light on salt but big on benefits? Don’t miss our blog "Bite Without the Bloat: The Truth About Low Sodium Bars" to discover why low sodium bars are the smarter way to snack.

[19thperson]

19th's Steam Next Fest Impressions Oct 2024 Edition - Day 6

Day 1/Day 2/Day 3/Day 4/Day 5

Is This Game Trying To Kill Me?

A game that's entirely the escape room parts of the first third of Inscryption. You wake up in a mysterious cabin with a computer in front of you. the computer runs a game about exploring a castle. Doing things in the cabin will effect the game and vice versa. Solve puzzles and try to escape.

It's fine.

It does want it wants to do but what it wants to do doesn't feel too impressive. I could see ahead of time where things were going.

Videos Game

All-in Abyss: Judge the Fake

In Japan's new "Designated Gambling District," 99% of the populace lives in poverty while 1% live like kings. In this dire city, the genius gambler Asuha enters to make her riches and defeat the 5 undefeated witches.

I'm a sucker for gambling manga so as long as this was functional this would click, but I have some complaints.

The aforementioned witches all have different means of cheating, and in-between the big matches, you have to investigate around the city to find some clue as to what their trick is and figure out a counter-strategy. The problem is the investigation is so linear that it just feels like padding between the poker.

It doesn't help that the characters are all kinda one note right now. (I was gonna say they were kinda flat but that isn't true huehuehuehue)

(It is a boob joke)(Kill me)

The poker itself is kinda fun. It has two systems complicating things: the "skill" system lets you alter the cards or your opponent's behavior. The skill "make em chase" is a taunt that keeps the opponent from folding, for example, while "ace in the hole" is "once 4 community cards have been dealt, you get to choose the 5th one". They're balanced by luck being a spendable resource. The 2nd system is a multiplier system. Every time someone raises, a multiplier on the final payout goes up, and it doesn't reset until someone goes to showdown, so you can't just endlessly fold. Hopefully future bosses up the stakes.

the problems: the poker AI for the non witch boss battles kinda sucks. and the big boss battles give you enough in the tank that you can just fold repeatedly until you get an ideal hand, and then use the skill to force a showdown.

Lastly it has dangan-ronpa-esque execution scenes, although not animated, just a CG with description, and the first witch's ironic death, the witch of sweets is force fed to death in blatant feeder fetish art.

Overall more Kakegurui than Kaiji.

Project Silverfish

Small Scale Scalie Stalker.

You choose a backstory, are dumped into some sort of exclusion zone, and take missions from various factions with a reputation system.

Not sure about the gunplay because I spent my short playtime avoiding fights.

Has Stalker's system of multiple smaller maps connected by loading zones but fewer of them. I don't know if they're similarly sized. I did not get far in my one attempt at Stalker years ago.

While I am fine with a map that doesn't give you waypoints or player markers, I would like a compass.

It's still in alpha and you can feel it. And I'm already not the best judge of immersive sims. But it seems to be a functional one I like that it has a cooking system.

Escape Everlit

Sci-fi mystery adventure game. Four people, who all visited the Everlit Building on the same day, wake up in an isolated island with little memory of how they got there. They discover technology that seems impossible in the house. For whatever reason, their dreams send them back in time, to the day of a violent tragedy on a train station

I'll address the elephant in the room first. Game uses a lot of AI art it seems. Some of the more consistent AI art but you can still see the seams. Would not be surprised to hear the translation was similar. It's got a very flat cadence, everyone talking like everyone else in plain terms. Which is sad because I do like some of what's going on here. Of course that's also because I am a sucker for this kind of mystery.

Promise with really big drawbacks. Not sure what to do with this one.

Glitch Dungeon Crystal

The world is falling into glitched corruption. You play as a tiny babushka who doesn't really know what's going on but has just discovered this place and it's filthy. Use your broom to clean up this place and maybe save the world.

A puzzle platformer. Being an old grandma your jump isn't worth writing home about, so you have to use a limited number of spells as well as NPC behaviors to get around. Some spells include one that lets you coyote-style walk off a ledge and keep going, as if there was still ground beneath you, another lets you high jump and float downward, another lets you climb walls, and one lets you go through enemies. I assume they'll be more in the full game. NPC behaviors include fishing frogs that pull you up from their lines and insects that will dig down holes, for some examples.

On one hand I do like the freedom of movement all these systems give you. It feels like there's very little aside from the limits to your own ingenuity to go OOB or at least reach seemingly unintended places. The problems so far is that the game isn't rewarding me for doing so yet, and that movement often requires mid-jump spell switching, which is easy to screw up, but also adds a bit of fun execution to the mix.

Becrowned

I didn't finish this one, not because it was too scary but because poor health item management led to me being painted in a corner. That isn't to say it isn't scary. It does succeed at that. Got a good jumps and some dread out of me.

It is kind of defused when you die and your character ragdolls. Seeing him flail kinda robs the moment of its tension.

It cribs very liberally from Silent Hill 2 but if I were to knock it for that I'd have to knock like a good 80% of the indie survival horror scene.

The demo takes place in a Fucked Up Asylum, but thankfully it's not going straight for "oooh scary crazy people." It's not a huge upgrade but it's going for something more personal than that.

Biggest complaint is that enemy spawns don't reset after you leave the room. You run away from the enemy, enter a door, do whatever you planned to do in said room, step out again and oops they're right there taking a swing at you.

[teruel-a-witch]

for the otp-ask: 2, 3, 17 and 19 for mcdanno 😇

(sorry it took me so long, bb, i have no excuse)

2. gets mad at the TV and throws the remote.

i mean, this one is danny 'i don't have anger issues' williams, who totally has anger issues, lol. most likely while watching sports (i don't know anything about sports so i can't elaborate there).

but i also can imagine steve watching all the cheesy old sci-fi movies that danny seems to love and criticising the science (the writers may have forgotten steve the science guy but I haven't and I never will) until he sees something so stupid it gets him angry enough to throw the remote, lol.

tho still a more likely scenario is danny gets so fed up with steve's commentary/criticism/exclamations 'that's so unrealistic/that's wrong/there's no sound in space' that he ends up throwing the remote and storming off saying how he'll never watch movies with steve the ruiner of fun™ ever again.

3. gets the worst road rage.

i genuinely can't pick between the two of them here, steve is a crazy impatient driver who according to danny drives like a maniac and danny is from new jersey.

although, i imagine, danny has a rule of not screaming at people when he has his little girl in the car and steve also drives carefully when he has their kids or his niece in the car, but when it's just the two of them or they are alone all bets are off.

if someone cut danny off or otherwise put him in a dangerous situation when he has grace, i definitely see him getting out of the car saying 'it's all right, monkey, i'll be back' and then putting the fear of g-d into the asshole that endangered his little girl. don't forget about steve tracking down the asshole that ran grace off the road and laying into him also.

neither of them have much scruples about using their badges to intimidate people who wronged them on the road for sure. as usual, tho, depending on who is more pissed off in a given situation the other serves as the reasonable one to pull them back from the edge.

17. takes the safety steps when building a pillow fort.

steve goes absolutely overboard, not just with safety, he actually has blueprints and calculated the optimal ratio of pillows Vs blankets and the amount of chairs/load bearing furniture necessary, and in general scale.

so he turns his entire living room in a massive pillow fortress. danny thought it was too much but even he had to admit it was cozy and comfortable when he and steve find some privacy in there after the kids are asleep.

19. Is addicted to angry birds, game of war, candy crush, temple run, or flappy bird.

after they start making phones with screens big enough for his goofy thumbs, danny totally gets hooked on playing match-3 games and word puzzles. at first he just checked out the games his little girl was spending time on and he had to make sure they were above board but then he got totally addicted but tried to hide it from steve because he assumed he would make fun of him for it.

steve never had much respect for idle games and he hadn't really played video games since ms pacman was the height of technology because he always preferred physical activity to pass the time, and he scoffed at e-sports. (canonically he didn't even know what angry bird type game was and danny had to explain it to him)

but one time danny catches him playing god of war/heroes of war and magic (idk pick any PvP strategy war game) and goes 'ah-ah' while steve tries to save face by saying 'it's totally to sharpen my strategizing skills, plus, i have to get back at this teenybopper from latvia who raided my castle while i was asleep, danny' but danny will never let him live it down.

'mr navy seal got pwned by a tween, haha'. '

i'll show you pwn!'

'whatever you say, m'lord'.

which one of your OTP list

[thabigradwolf]

Guess what kids its smut time!!! Wrote it drunk so like forgive me but like…may it feed your thirst.

—————————————————

Alcina always saw herself as THE apex predator wherever she went. Between her dealings with Miranda and personal matters she always made the tough choices and did it with brutal efficiency. No one was the wiser on the toll it takes on Alcina. No one but Donna. Donna knew her beloved quite well and knew just how to take care of the ferocious woman’s needs. Sex.

The soft blankets of Donna’s bed always felt amazing against Alcina’s skin. She loved the drag of the soft material against against her legs and thighs. Alcina traced her fingers in the plush fabric to leave what she loved to think of as claw marks in the heavy fleece. If she was honest with herself Donna’s bed was her favorite place to be.

Donna had been called a “simp” by Karl multiple times because of the way Donna prepared everything for Alcina. Always making sure she had the softest bed for her love to rest on. Going out of way to make sure she was well fed with home-cooked meals. Donna didn’t start trying to take care of anything really besides her art and her rabbit Angie until she was aware of her feelings. Alcina was noticed this and really appreciated the effort.

Alcina rolled her shoulders and stretched. She pushed her heavy hips into the bed and settled comfortably. Here came the part the Romanian sucked at. The wait for Donna to get ready. Once Alcina’s clothes were off she just wanted to be railed within an inch of her life. Donna however was meticulous. She would take the time to heat up the toys and warm the lube. The wait was always worth it but what took about 10min of time felt like a lifetime.

Alcina softly grumbled “I ….just wanna cum.” She buried her face into her arms. She could feel the heat roll across her face as she thought of those texts she has been teased with all day. For a normally quite woman Donna was able to “spit game”. Alcina closed her eyes and let out of soft huff think about the interactions earlier.

With a flip of the switch the room went dark. Donna’s voice cut the silence.

“Thanks for waiting Alci.”

Instinctively Alcina raised her pelvis so Donna could slide in.

“What took you so long my love?” Alcina felt Donna’s cold hands on her hips and soft belly. Alcina tenderly traced her large hands against Donna’s forearms. She felt her nipples harden and fluttering deep in her belly. “It’s hard to be that patient for you…”

Alcina spread her legs for the smaller woman. She gently tugged on Donna to pull her close to her core. Donna followed the lead instinctually. She leaned in an kissed Alcina’s soft tummy pooch. It’s was Donna’s little secret that she loved that soft belly. It was evidence that Alcina wasn’t working herself to death and actually eating a proper meal.

Alcina settled her lower back into the bed and softly inhaled. “I’m ready, I have waited long enough I think.”

Donna laughed “shouldn’t I warm you up a bit?” Donna was full of shit. She knew Alcina too well, they had been sexting all day and it was a miracle Donna hadn’t been jumped by the horny woman sooner.

While Alcina knew Donna was joking she felt a bit frantic “you know dear…you could stop fucking with me and actually just…fuck me.” Donna laughed she loved seeing Alcina like this. Without another word between the two Donna obliged and placed the heavy head in Alcina’s entrance and slowly pushed in.

Alcina lifted her legs and spread her toes “Oh god yes…” Donna began to pump the tip of the large toy inside of her love. Alcina is and has always been a size queen. This toy was the latest in their arsenal. Alcina had spent weeks training for the stretch but couldn’t get that “knot” in at the base of the toy. She wanted to challenge but so far this was the one that had her beat.

Donna pushed a warmed load of sticky lube to help Alcina with her latest conquest. Also holy fuck hearing that loud husky moan. Alcina moaned “Oooh fuck…” beads of sweat began to pill up on both of their brows. Alcina began work the toy deeper with gentle rhythmic bucks. “Donna I need to angle” Alcina said nothing more and move the smaller woman with her powerful thighs. Donna smirked “that needy?” Donna slowly leaned into Alcina and to illicit louder moaning.

Alcina and Donna found a perfect rhythm that both could maintain. The sloppy wet noises of Alcinas drenched pussy, the panting between the pair only made Alcina more receptive. Alcina found herself pushed against the knot of the toy. Her lips stroked the fat bulge.

Alcina breathily address Donna “ my love, leave this part to me. I need to mount at my own pace. Just suck on my nipples to help me” without a word Donna gladly did as she was told and began to suckle Alcina. Donna grabbed Alcina’s wrists and pushed her into the bed to keep her leverage.

Alcina lifted her heels to the ceiling. All of this was so much. The feeling of the cool fabric of Alcina’s sweaty skin. Donna’s soft lips and playful tongue teasing Alcina’s hard nipples and the heavy stretch of the toy pushing at the heart of her core. Alcina began to bear down on the knot and then it happened.

She felt a delicious pop deep inside of her. The knot was in and she had never felt fuller. Alcina let out a loud moan. “OH FUCK…” Alcina began to grind against Donna. Alcina croaked “please kiss me…” naturally Donna was happy to oblige. In that moment of closeness Alcina grabbed Donna’s ass and began to set the pace for the grind.

Alcina dug her fingers into Donna’s shoulders and cried out “DONNA!! DONNAA!! IM…” Alcina buried her face into Donna’s neck as the waves of Alcinas orgasm crashed over her. She wrapped her thick thighs around the smaller woman’s waist. Frustration was beginning to mount Alcina couldn’t stop milking the toy. Donna wasn’t helping either because with each tender stoke to comfort her the more aroused she became.

Alcina panted “fuck…I need a moment.” When Alcina lowered her legs her insides we once again teased by the toy. “Donna…I need a moment.”

“Alcina?”

“I’m okay but for the love of god don’t move. I need a moment”

“But are you???” Donna was worried now.

“I’m fine. I just feel boneless and stupid. I need a moment” Alcina’s breathing evened out and she was finally able to lower her legs slowly.

“Ready for me to pull ou”

Alcina cut her off immediately “please don’t…I’m afraid I’ll cum again and right now I just…” Alcina loved how she felt in that moment but it was a lot to try and process. Donna slowly rested on top of Alcina and began to tenderly kiss her neck. “Take all the time you need. I’m just happy to be here with you”

Alcina tilted her knees towards Donna’s back. Gently petting Donna brought Alcina back to how much she loves being in Donna’s bed. Donna got it and really understood Alcina. This was the only place where Alcina could be the maiden and still feel respected. Even as she was covered in lube, sweat and cum she felt sexy and honestly loved. Even if she was stuck with this over stimulating knotted toy it was impossible to not get light headed think about how well Donna treated her.

Alcina wanted this moment between the two to last forever. In a emotional haze of thinking about what led this vulnerability Alcina blurted out “I want more.” Donna was delighted at the prospects of round two.

“I promise the next one will be stronger than the first.” Donna chuckled “you may have to be stuck with me on top of you for a while”

Alcina could feel that deep fluttering in her belly. She placed the back of her arm over her eyes. “I’ll deal…I just need more of you.” Blush pinked Alcina’s cheeks as she firmly dug her heels into the mattress. Figuring out how to pull out was a problem for future Alcina and Donna.

[magicalara]

What do you mean a robot STOLE MY JOB???

My unrealistic attempts at doing all of kuroshitcember might have failed, but I am here for day 5! The prompt of the day is: Fast forward a century or so, and the Grim Reaper Dispatch’s collection system has switched to AI and other complex technologies. How good are the grim reapers at this? How do thy feel about it?

Rather than do a story, I’m just gonna spew my thoughts into headcannons so yeah enjoy!

The rest of the masterlist is here and thank you to @eemoo1o-animoo​ for creating it 😊

- So basically, it stands like this: William hates it, Ronald doesn’t mind it, Grelle loves it, and Othello tries to make it better and do experiments.

- Essentially the reactions go a little something like William trying to get around but ultimately failing because his patience for loading screens is thin, Ronnie isn’t an expert by any means, but he knows his way around the settings, Grelle knows the ins and outs of social media websites, games, anything related to the camera, and how to trick the phone into thinking you are in a different time zone, and Othello is a total geek about it all and knows literally everything about everything. Othello and Grelle are the most excited about the switch up (Othello because ✨science✨ and Grelle because ✨less paperwork✨). William is least excited because he likes the old fashioned way where he knows he isn’t making any mistakes, thank you very much. Ronnie’s there in the middle like “yeah it’s stupid and takes too long sometimes, but it’s generally more efficient”. If Alan and Eric were alive here, Eric would be in the same boat as Ronnie and Alan would either be a total geek about it like Othello or hate it like William, no in between. Moreover, is Undertaker were here, he’d just straight up refuse to use it. Like, he would not use it at all. Malicious compliance at its finest like you want a word doc with his notes? Okay here’s a word doc with a picture attached of all of his hand-written notes.

- To go more in depth on how I think the office was modernized, I like to think that it’s kinda like how it has been for us. It started out with just those boxy computers and now there’s literal robots. Even more threatening, I think that the little pocket universe that the dispatch is in is even more advanced than we are which means it is perfectly reasonable for me to believe that they have fully fledged androids a la detroit: become human style (great game btw highly recommend)

- The title makes a little more sense now that the androids have been mentioned huh? Anyways

- At first, as the paper was taken away slowly and everything was made more digitized, even people who act like cranky grandpas that are fed up with technology (coughWilliamcoughcough) could deal with it. Sure, it took a bit of adjusting, but the whole process was essentially the same just with a lot more emails and a little less human interaction when sending off documents. Nothing too extreme you know

- But then the bots were brought in

- It took the littler jobs at first, doing work that librarians usually would and bringing people things- stuff like that. But then, then, Othello got an idea: what if the droids could reap souls just like other reapers?

- Obviously, this was a long term thing. Othello’s smart, but you can’t build Rome in a day and Othello can’t replace all of the dispatch in a night. And even if when he does make it, he only shows Grelle because he trusts her most lol

- Grelle’s reaction: “What do you mean a robot STOLE MY JOB????”

- Yeah she’s not too happy lol. She knows Othello only means well but she’s also watched a playthrough of Detroit: Become Human and knows it won’t end well so she makes sure that Othello shuts it down. It’s a cool idea in theory, but it isn’t as safe or practical as just having a real reaper on the job. He doesn’t mind shutting it down, he might be a mad scientist but he isn’t that mad. 

- And for my Sascha and Ludger lovers: Sascha absolutely LOVES all of the improvements to the camera as well as how easy it is to get any and all information at the touch of a screen. Ludger likes it, but also knows it has flaws and so tries not to rely on it too too much. For example, he takes handwritten notes and then just types them up later on the computer, he likes it better that way and encourages Sascha does the same.

[mikalara-dracula]

Rainy days with their s/o

ft. Yuma and Subaru

Warning: 18+ content below; don't read if you're a minor.

Yuma:

Well, since he can’t garden that day, he’s quite bored and out of ideas as to what to do.

He’d be kinda grumpy about it, especially if he was planning to plant something new that day.

“Man, out of all days it has to rain today.”

“You say that every time it rains. It’s mother nature’s way of doing things. You can’t change it.”

“Tch! What does she know?!”

He’d eventually get over the fact that he can’t garden and would sit down and watch a little TV with you, however, he’s always judging everything that’s on.

For example, if a movie or show is on and he doesn’t really like it, he’ll criticize the characters he finds stupid.

“That guy’s an idiot. That’s not how you get a girl.”

“Oh, and I suppose you know?”

“How do you think I got you, little pig.” He’d grin, making you hit him playfully.

On days like this, he tends to get clingy because he has nothing else to do.

Basically, without his garden he’s lost on what to do and will constantly tease and bother you throughout the day.

For example, since it’s rainy outside, you figured you’d make yourself a nice hot chocolate since it corresponded well with the weather.

However, as you were drinking it in the kitchen, he came in and decided to bother you about what you were doing.

“What are you drinking, little pig?”

“A hot chocolate.” You’d smile.

“Oh good, maybe you’ll gain a little and it’ll go where I want it most.” He’d grin while reaching behind to clutch your ass xDD.

“Yuma! Is that all you care about?!”

“Hey, this little pig’s ass belongs to me, so I get to decide how big I want it.”

If you two are cuddling on the couch, he absolutely refuses to let you go. He literally treats you as if you’re his body pillow.

“Yuma, let me go.”

“Fight your way out of it, little pig.” He’d grin, finding your struggle funny.

Since there isn’t much to do on days like this, he might allow you to style his hair any way you want and might even do yours.

Believe it or not, he's an expert at braiding. His favorite style is a fishtail braid and he thinks it looks beautiful on you.

His talent for braiding is so versed that even his brothers might comment as to how pretty it looks on you.

"It looks so . . . nice, Y/N." Azusa would comment.

"Wow little maso-kitty, it looks great on you. Did Yuma do that?" Kou would add.

"As expected, Yuma's known for such styles. You display it well." Ruki would admit.

“Yeah, only the best for my little pig.” Yuma would smirk, a subtle boast in his tone, causing you to blush at his statement.

He likes giving you piggy back rides throughout the house, but he’ll pretend to drop you just to scare you because he’s an asshole.

With all this boredom, Yuma might even get into asking you a few dirty riddles.

"Hey little pig, what's six inches long, goes in your mouth and is more fun if it vibrates?"

"Yuma!"

"Damn, little pig, I didn't know you could be so dirty-minded. I'm just talking about a toothbrush."

"Well it certainly didn't sound that way."

"My god! How could you think such a thing?” He said, acting oh-so innocent, a smirk soon appearing on his face, showing his true colors. “Oh, I get it, you wanted it to be something else."

“What are you-,”

“C’mere, little pig.” He’d say, tackling and pinning you to a nearby couch, starting to tickle you.

"No! Stop!'' You'd squeal, Yuma still continuing to tickle you as you laughed beneath him.

At one point he might grow fed up with the rain and decide to go outside anyways.

"Y’know what, this is stupid. C'mon, little pig. We're not gonna let a little rain tell us what to do." He’d say, taking you by your wrist and dragging you behind him.

"Yuma, wai-,"

He’d continue running and drag you outside in the pouring rain, making you get soaking wet as he picks you up into his arms and spins you around, his lips melding onto yours as he’d hungrily kiss you. He’d soon pull away and put you down, a scowl on your face due to him getting you drenched in mother nature’s tears.

“Yuma! You got me all wet!”

"Damn, I tried to make this romantic and you're complaining about getting wet?"

You’d sigh, “Getting romantic doesn’t mean getting wet!”

“Oh really?” He’d smirk. “Then how come my little pig gets wet every time I-,”

“Shut up!” You’d say, hitting him playfully, causing him to laugh.

Subaru:

Doesn’t care if it’s rainy or not since he doesn’t really go out.

However, if it’s raining at night time and he wants to go in the rose garden, he might be a little irritated about it.

And since he doesn’t have any hobbies, this is a little hard on him.

Plus, since he’s a tsundere, he'll act pretty annoyed in general, even going down to being a total ass.

Compared to Yuma, he gets clingy in a different way--that is, he secretly hopes that you’ll spend time with him since he can’t go out to the garden.

If you’re busy doing your own stuff tho, he’ll attempt to get involved but will act like he’s disinterested in doing so.

But it’s not like you mind him getting involved--that is, if he’s being genuine.

For example, you were once sitting down at the table working on your homework late at night, finishing up the last thing for your assignment when he walked in and came up behind you.

He placed his head in the crook of your neck, being curious about what you were doing as his gaze traveled to the assignment you were working on.

“What are you doing?”

“Homework.” You’d answer.

“Tch! What a pain.”

“It’s not so bad, I’m almost done.”

“Why don’t you just take a break?”

“Subaru, there’s really no point since I’m close to finishing.” You’d say going back to your work, but of course, the white-haired vampire had to persist.

He lifted up his face from the crook of your neck and took notice of your exposed bra strap. A smirk grew on his face and being the tease that he is, he’d take his fingers and use them to pull on it and have smack against your skin just to annoy you and throw you off guard.

“What the hell?”

“It’s not my fault it was right there, you should hide it better next time.” He’d smirk.

If the atmosphere is quiet and he sees you’re busy but doesn’t want to bother you, he’ll just watch what you’re doing whilst you’re busy working and shuffling around doing your stuff. With watching the way your body moves and the look of concentration on your face, it builds up a lot of sexual tension as he'd stand by with his arms crossed in hopes that something intimate happens or is initiated.

Oh the things this bby car imagines xDD.

He’ll also try to get involved in other things you’d be doing as well, such as crafts.

After finishing your homework, you decided to do something a bit more productive, so you decided to go work on a painting you had been working on. You’d get pretty focused and concentrated, that is until Subaru came up behind you and decided to intervene.

“What are you up to now?”

“Painting.”

“Tch! Lame.”

He’d just continue to stand there, his figure still looming over yours. An idea soon hit you. You knew he was bored, so you decided to make painting time a little more fun.

Turning to him, you’d ask, “Hey, why don’t you help.”

“Huh?”

“Help me with the painting.”

“Do I look like Picasso to you?” He’d sarcastically remark.

“Subaru, it doesn’t matter what it looks like in the end. What matters is the fun you have when painting.”

“Tch! That’s stupid.” He’d retort.

“Alright, then. Suit yourself.”

Since he didn’t want to, you turned around and began painting again.

Deep down, Subaru secretly found your offer to be sweet since he really didn’t mind helping and wanted to spend time with you, but because he has a hard time expressing his emotions through his tough exterior, it always came off as if he didn’t care.

The white-haired vampire sighed, feeling torn between the feeling of wanting to do something memorable with you versus him getting caught doing something crafty by one of his brothers, but because you were more important, he decided to help.

“Alright, where do you want me to begin?” He’d say picking up a brush and sitting down next to you.

Taken back by his sudden decision, you’d say. “Oh, um, you can start over here.” You’d say, pointing to a blank space on the canvas. “Just paint it blue for now and then I’ll tell you what to do from there.”

He said nothing and began to do what you asked him, both of you working hard on the masterpiece.

While working, you’d occasionally sneak a few glances at him, seeing how his progress was going.

You honestly had to admit how attractive Subaru looked when he was concentrated on something, the way his eyes angled themselves as they narrowed in on the area he was working on, a few stray locks being in his face, his lips being ajar and lurid in the lighting as he continued to work.

To be honest, you definitely had to ask him to paint more often with you.

He definitely looked busy, an idea striking you again but in a more playful aspect. Since he looked so concentrated, you dipped your finger into the paint and smeared some on his cheek.

“Hey! What the hell?!”

You honestly couldn’t help but laugh, leading him to grin, “Oh, you think that’s funny? Then how about this?”

He’d be quick to dip multiple fingers in the paint and smear it all over your face. Accepting his challenge, you were quick to dip your hand in paint and smear it all over his face as payback, but this was far from over.

This ended up becoming an entire paint war, you and Subaru’s laughter echoing as you chased each other about the room and continued to smear and splatter paint on each other, both of you becoming a colored mess as the walls became vandalized in the process.

“I’m gonna get you, Y/N. You’re gonna look like a rainbow by the time this is over.” He’d grin, his hand fully loaded with paint being ready to rub it on you.

“Catch me if you can!” You’d tease sticking your tongue out, whilst running away from him.

It was all fun and games however, until Reiji came in and saw the mess, leading him to scold you two.

“What is the meaning of this?”

You both would be quick to blame it on each other as you’d talk over each other in unison, but Reiji didn’t care to hear excuses.

“Please see to it that this is cleaned up, otherwise I’ll have to discipline the two of you thoroughly.” He’d say, quickly taking his leave as you both laughed about what happened, soon cleaning it up together.

On rainy nights, he might show a bit of a soft side.

However, bear in mind that he will be quick to lean back into his tsundere side if he thinks the moment is getting too soft.

Likes to lay in his coffin with you if you both want to relax. He’ll act annoyed the entire time due to him being a tsundere, but secretly, he loves the fact that you’re next to him.

Likes to have you sit in his lap, while you’re reading, having a blanket draped over the both of you, whilst he’d rest his face in the crook of your neck. He honestly loves being so close to you, but he’d never admit it.

Here, he might take the opportunity to either place a soft kiss on your neck or bite your shoulder if he’s feeling thirsty.

He likes to cuddle and lay on top of you, but won't let you leave to do anything else because he's so clingy.

"Subaru, let me go."

"Not a chance."

When he’s not being soft, you two are bound to bicker about the stupidest things--like heights, for example, leading him to become a total mess.

"You're not taller than me, Y/N. We've been over this."

"Oh no?" You’d sass, stepping onto his coffin, being slightly taller than him now. "How about now?"

He scoffed, a grin appearing on his face as he’d playfully grab you and pin you onto a nearby wall, giving you the greediest and lustful kisses as you both kept laughing in unison.

Might let you style his hair, such as putting it up into a ponytail or style it in some other way.

You once put bows in his hair and he was so annoyed by it at first, but he eventually started to find it funny and began laughing with you, but that was all until Laito came in and took a picture of him with his new style.

“Fufu~, love the new look, Subaru. I’ve gotta say it suits you.”

“Why you!” He’d hiss, quickly running after him to make him delete the photo and beat the living crap out of him for doing that and seeing him in such a state.

On rainy nights, be prepared for a lot of fun and games because apart from paint wars, Subaru can take things to a whole new level.

Since it was raining and you couldn’t go anywhere, you decided to try out a new makeup style.

And of course, he’d have to get into your business and tell you he finds it stupid.

"Tch! Why do girls even wear that shit?!"

"Oh shut up, you boys like it. Don't lie.”

“Whatever.” He’d retort, saying nothing else.

You sighed knowing he was bored, so you asked the unthinkable once again to help him cope with not being able to go out because of the rain.

“Do you want help?”

“Help? With what?”

“With this new makeup style.”

“Tch! Seriously?”

“All you have to do is add the eyeshadow and lipstick. I’m not asking you to do anything crazy.”

Sighing and knowing it was better than doing nothing, he’d say, “Fine.”

He’d turn you to him so he could have better access to your face to apply the makeup.

“Just don't make me look like a clown.” You’d warn closing your eyes, allowing Subaru to put on the eyeshadow.

This is when he was struck with a mischievous idea, an infamous smirk twisting on his lips as he applied the makeup to your face.

And after what seemed like quite some time, he finally finished.

“Okay, it’s done.”

You’d sigh, “Finally, I can’t wait to see it. I’m sure it looks amazing.”

“You bet it does.” He’d mutter under his breath, it not being loud enough for you to hear.

Opening your eyes, you looked at your reflection in the mirror and screamed. The makeup looked so bad, maybe worse than a clown.

"Subaru!"

“Ha! What a face!” He’d scoff.

“Ass!” You’d hiss, chasing him around the room as he’d laugh.

Now because you couldn’t let him get away with what he did, as payback you decided to draw a mustache on him while he was sleeping.

When he woke up and saw his reflection in the mirror he grew shocked, and instantly knew it was you who had done it.

(Ik vampires typically can’t see their reflection in a mirror, but I’m not sure about DL here, but let’s just assume that he can considering it hasn’t been mentioned (maybe I’m wrong here??); and also because Reiji implied that some human-made vulnerabilities don’t apply to them, so this might not).

“Y/N!”

“Payback's a bitch isn't it?” You’d giggle, standing a few feet away from him.

“Now, you're gonna get it!” He’d say, chasing you around to no end, only leaving you to laugh as he kept running after you.

[no-pucks-given]

TYSON JOST | LIGHT MY WAY HOME

A/N: More than 12.000 words later, more than a month after the initial request from Taylor popped up in my notifications. What a freaking ride. My longest fic I've ever written, and maybe even my favourite one. Thank you, to everyone who hyped me up, send me inspo and send me sweet asks. I couldn't have done this without all of you. Special thanks to @dumb-and-dunner, @chicagoblackhawkslover96, @heybarzy and Chrissy (who doesn't have Tumblr unfortunately).

Warnings: Angst, ‘can I strangle him yet?’ Tyson, swearwords, some major character development and (how could I not?!) a happy ending.

Also: Gabe and Melissa Landeskog play a big part in this fic, so if you aren't comfortable with them, you might want to skip this one.

Word Count: 12.1K

Requested: Yes.

The NHL lifestyle, or the ‘popular’ lifestyle was attractive to all young, hormonal boys. You’d known that for a long time. You stood by Tyson’s side when he got drafted into the wicked world of the NHL. Parties, drinking, sex, training until you can barely move, fights, games, wins and losses. It all had it’s charms, but it also had its dangers. Just like any other guy Tyson wanted to experience it all, the whole package,

You assumed you fell under that ‘whole package’, you were his girlfriend for a reason, right? And you did, for a while. You partied together, came home together, did everything together. But the moment Tyson became older and ‘known’ outside the regular hockey fans, that title didn’t mean much anymore. He became more and more the type of guy you didn’t fall in love with, the type to take you for granted, the type to enjoy the attention of other people, other women in particular. You weren’t the jealous type, you didn’t want to claw out the eyes of every woman that looked at him, but you were at a breaking point. Maybe you were jealous, you weren’t jealous of those other women, you were jealous of the attention Tyson gave them. Attention he should’ve been giving to you, his freaking girlfriend.

You were however the loyal type, the type to come home after a long night. And that’s exactly where things went wrong with Tyson. While you were waiting for him at home with a meal, a warm bed or just simply anything else, he was out. You had no idea where he was exactly, he was simply ‘out’, whatever that might mean. You tried to talk to him, you tried to make him see that this wouldn’t end well for either of you, but he simply waved off your concerns, shrugged his shoulders and moved on.

How do you talk to someone who rediscovered himself? How do you talk to someone who thinks he’s on top of the world? How do you save someone from the downfall of success when they don’t want to be saved? You knew one day he’ll come down from this high, one day he’ll realize that he screwed up. One day he’ll come to the conclusion he let something special slip through his fingers, and for what? Fame? Drinks? A rush of adrenaline? One day. But you knew that it wouldn’t be today.

However today is the day that you’re done. Absolutely fed up with all the bullshit excuses Tyson has been feeding you, all the coming home late or not even coming home at all. You have no idea what he’s been up to these last months, he’s barely home. Even when he’s home it’s like he isn’t really there. You can’t even remember the last time the two of you slept together or the last time you actually went to bed at the same time. Breakfast together? A lifetime ago. A lazy day together? Can’t remember. Date night? Months, months ago. Even thinking about it pisses you off to no end, the pain and hurt slowly making place for a new emotion: anger.

It’s frustrating to say the least. You love and take care of him like he means the world to you, and he does. Tyson on the other hand seems to take you for granted, or forgets you’re here at all. It seems like you’re talking to a brick wall instead of your boyfriend. No matter how hard you try, your words have no impact, your tears don’t make him feel anything. It’s like he’s a totally different person. You barely recognize him anymore these days, he feels like a stranger inside the body of the man you love. It feels like you’re both living your life, besides each other instead of with each other. It hurts, that’s for sure.

Like any other day you’ve prepared dinner, put it on the table and sat down on one of the chairs. All you can do now is wait, wait and pray he’ll show up this time. You even texted him, begged him to come home and simply eat dinner with you for a change. Of course you didn’t get a response, of course it’s complete radio silence from his side. God, you were desperate at this point, you don’t even try to deny it.

With every passing minute your hope disappears little by little. You stare at the food on the table until it’s completely dark outside, no sign of Tyson. Hours passed and you barely noticed it, it isn’t until you try to stand up and your muscles ache from sitting in the same position for a long time that you realize how much time actually has passed. “Fuck this, why am I even trying anymore?” you mutter to yourself, shaking your head. This isn’t worth it, it hasn’t been for a long time. Maybe, just maybe you’re finally ready to admit it to yourself.

Deciding to choose yourself over Tyson is a major decision, one you probably should’ve made sooner. It doesn’t matter, what does matter is that you’re choosing you now. You make the split second decision to just grab your stuff, just the necessary stuff. You remember Gabe’s offer, at the time you waved it off with a smile, pretending it wasn’t as bad as it might look to the outside world, but now? You want nothing more than to take him up on his offer. So what’s stopping you?

Even though you were excruciating calm this whole time, the moment you step into your bedroom, or Tyson’s bedroom, you break. This is real, this is really happening. You grab your bags, filling them with some of your stuff. Some clothes, some toiletries, your makeup, everything you might need. It’s a tough job, it’s even harder when you almost can’t see past the tears. At some point you lose track of things you did and didn’t grab, just shoving random items into your bag.

You let out a frustrated sigh, your body sinking down on the floor. In your hands the box containing all your high school love letters, all the small gifts you made each other. Tyson was quite handy, who would’ve thought that? You smile at the memories, sorting through the box. You frown at the feeling surging through your body, is this how heartbreak feels? Looking down at the contents of the box you sigh, wiping away the tears streaming down your face. Why couldn’t life be as simple as it used to be? It shouldn’t be this hard, right? You grab your prom picture between your fingers, smiling sadly at the two people in the picture, both smiling like they just won the lottery, both utterly in love with the other. How time can change..

You throw the box on the bed, maybe it will remind Tyson what the two of you had was special, maybe he’ll realize what he’s about to lose. If it doesn’t, well, it’s his loss. Hauling your bags downstairs is a full workout, you intended to bring ‘just the essentials’ but you have way more important stuff than you originally thought. You aren’t planning on returning to this house any time soon.

Shutting the car door after you loaded in your stuff gives you some form of relief. You let out the breath you’ve been holding in. You made your decision, it’s time to follow through now. You make your way back inside, and into the kitchen. Cleaning up all leftovers from dinner, which obviously is a lot more than you expected. Although.. did you really think he would show up? You shake your head again, putting the leftovers into the fridge. After you finish the dishes you retreat back to the living room, falling down on the couch with a loud sigh. All you can do now is wait.

You could’ve just left and never look back, but that isn’t your style. If you’re going to leave, you’ll do it the right way. You won’t leave without giving him a piece of mind, letting him know he fucked this up for good. You try to focus on the movie playing on the screen, but your heart keeps beating harder and harder, at this point you wish you would’ve just left instead of waiting for Tyson to show up. God, why did you have to do it the right way? Because you know, deep down, you would’ve wanted him to do it the same way. It’s the humane thing to do, it’s only right after spending such a long time together.

The front door opening brings you out of your thoughts. Honestly you don’t even know what time it is, but frankly you don’t care. All you want right now is to get this off your chest and leave. Tyson’s eyes widen when he comes face-to-face with you, surprisingly he doesn’t seem that intoxicated. You suspected he went out, but at this point he could’ve been anywhere.

“You’re still up,” Tyson says, walking past you and flopping down on the couch.

“Yep, and you missed dinner,” you counter, crossing your arms. Tyson simply shrugs his shoulder, clearly not caring enough to explain his absence. “I texted you to make sure you would be here,” you say, even though you know it doesn’t make a difference.

“Yeah, I was busy,” Tyson answers, looking down at his phone.

You almost feel the need to chuckle, to start laughing at his stupid behavior, but this is anything but funny to you, it fucking hurts. “I’m done, Tyson. I’m fucking done,” you say, shaking your head, trying so hard to keep the tears away.

Tyson looks at you with dull eyes, no emotion visible on his face. “Then go to fucking bed, I really can’t deal with your problems right now,” he sighs, turning his head back to the phone in his hand.

Right now, at this moment you know you made the right decision. This isn’t behavior of someone who’s in love, this isn’t even behavior of someone who loves. “You don’t have to deal with me anymore, because I’m leaving. I’m done, we’re done,” you tell him, emphasizing the last part. Tyson’s eyes shoot to yours, the panic clearly written all over his face now.

“No, we’re not. You can’t break up with me, y/n!” he almost shouts at you, standing up from the couch.

“Yes, I can and I will. You don’t get to act like you care all of the sudden, Tyson. You haven’t acted like a boyfriend in months. You haven’t given me any reason to stay, so I won’t. I’m done with whatever this is,” you say, waving between the two of you. Tyson grabs your wrist, tears starting to pool in his eyes. He opens his mouth to say something but you cut him off. “No. No. You don’t get to do this. It’s over. You put on quite a show, but I can’t say it was very entertaining. This curtain fucking closes right now, show is over. You can act like you care, but I know by now that you don’t,” you tell him, ripping your arm out of his grip.

You walk over to the front door, keeping your head high. Now is not the time to break down, your time will come. You hear Tyson behind you, muttering how sorry he is, excuse after excuse leave his mouth. You open the door, turning around one last time to look at Tyson. “Don’t tell me you’re sorry, ‘cause you’re not,” you say while shaking your head. You close the door behind you, not looking back at what you’ve left behind, only looking forward to what’s yet to come.

It’s when you’re in your car mindlessly driving around when you realize you have nowhere to go. You forgot to call Gabe, and it’s probably way too late now. You quickly check the time, 2am, shit that’s late. You doubt he’s still awake, you feel bad for even thinking about waking him up. Two young children, both of them under the age of 2, and being a professional hockey player probably cost him enough energy already, you don’t need to add to that. “He did say I could always call him when I made my decision,” you say out loud, more to convince yourself that it’s okay than anything else.

You easily find Gabe’s contact, immediately pressing the dial button before you change your mind again. The line only rings twice before Gabe picks up. “I’m guessing you either finally broke up with him or there’s a fire somewhere,” Gabe says from the other side of the line. You chuckle, shaking your head. “And since you’re calling me and not the fire department, my guess is on the first one,” Gabe continues, trying to make you smile some more.

“I did it, I broke up with him, couldn’t stand to be there any second longer,” you sigh, brushing your fingers through your hair.

You hear Gabe’s sigh of relief. “I’m proud of you, y/n. I know this isn’t what you had in mind, but it’s better like this, I promise.”

Gabe turned into one of your best friends over time, Melissa is the older sister you never had and you love their children like they’re your own. Gabe and Melissa welcomed you into their family immediately after meeting you. You hadn’t expected to make friends and you definitely didn’t expect to make friends with the captain and his wife, but you’re so grateful you did. The support you receive from them is overwhelming, you couldn’t wish for better friends. So when Gabe first made you this offer, you were thankful he did, although you were still convinced at that point that Tyson would change.

“Uhm, you know.. that offer you made me? Is that still on the table?” you ask, praying he’ll say ‘yes’, praying you don’t have to sleep in some random hotel tonight.

“Of course, the guestroom is already prepared. Melissa expects you to be here as soon as possible, apparently she ‘really needs to cuddle her little sister’,” Gabe chuckles, you can almost hear him rolling his eyes at his wife.

“Thank you, Gabe. I owe you,” you say softly.

“You don’t. You’re family, y/n,” Gabe says, and you know he means every word he just said. Family. “Now get your ass over here, before Melissa starts a search party,” Gabe chuckles, making you laugh some more, because you know she would. You quickly say your goodbyes, promising you’ll be there in a few minutes. It’s just a short drive from your apartment, or Tyson’s apartment now, to Gabe and Mel’s place.

You kept up your appearance, keeping the tears at bay, but the moment you step out of your car and into Gabe’s arms you’re done. “Come here, I’m so sorry,” Gabe says softly, his hands rubbing soothing circles on your back.

You stand there for a few minutes, simply crying on your best friend’s shoulder, until Melissa squeezes herself between the two of you. “Hush, I need some sister time. Why don’t you grab her stuff?” she says, smiling sweetly at her husband.

Gabe sighs dramatically, sending a wink your way. “Whatever you say, wife.”

Melissa pulls you close to her, an arm around your waist, her head resting on your shoulder. “Come on, I’ll show you your room,” she softly says, leading you into the house. You’ve been here so many times already, but never like this. You’ve never been in a situation like this before, you’re not sure how to handle this. “I can hear the wheels turning in your head. It will be okay,” Melissa says, rubbing your arm soothingly. You sigh, shrugging your shoulders, not sure what to say.

Melissa leads you to your room, pushing you down on the bed, while she takes a seat on the edge of the bed. “I know you’re probably exhausted, but do you want to talk?” Melissa asks softly, her face showing nothing but compassion.

You lay back on the bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking about all that has happened. “I don’t even know what to say, Mel. I don’t even know how I feel right now. I’m just so...” you trail off, not knowing the right words to describe everything that you feel and think right now.

“Confused, relieved, mad?”

You sit back up, looking back at Melissa. “All of the above, I guess? It hurts, but I’m glad I did it. But I also regret it, because I love him, you know? I’m mad he didn’t try harder for me, for us,” you say, trying hard to keep the rush of tears away.

Melissa wraps her arms around you, pulling you close to her. “I know, sweetheart. It will take time, but you’re going to be okay.”

You sigh, knowing she’s right, even though it probably will take more time than just ‘some time’. You did just end a long relationship, it will take a lot of patience and time to work through that. “Thank you, Mel. For letting me stay here,” you mumble against Melissa’s shoulder.

“No need for that. You’re my sister, remember?” Melissa smiles at you.

Gabe softly knocks on the door before opening the door. “Brought your bags, thought you might need them before you go to sleep,” he says, smiling at the sight before him. Your friendship might be unconventional, but he couldn’t care less what other people think about it. Gabe absolutely adores the sister bond you and Mel share, he hoped the two of you would get along, so this? Picture perfect.

“Thanks, Gabe,” you smile at him.

“Do you mind if I steal my wife from you?” Gabe asks, making you and Melissa laugh out loud.

“Nope, she’s all yours,” you chuckle, waving at their retreating backs when they walk out of the room.

You strip out of your clothes, pulling on a sweater. You sigh, realizing you packed some of Tyson’s sweaters out of habit. His smell infiltrates your senses, making it damn hard to keep your emotions under control. It’s right this moment you know exactly how you feel. Heartbroken. The realization that your relationship with Tyson is really over doesn’t give you the satisfaction you hoped for, it doesn’t give you peace, it just fucking hurts. You simply feel hollow, even though deep down you know this was the right choice, this was what needed to happen. You know damn well why you feel so empty, you gave your heart to Tyson a long, long time ago, never expecting to be in a situation you might get it back. You don’t want it back, but you might need it back.

You realize it’s morning when the light softly shines into your room. You sigh, knowing damn well you’re lucky if you slept more than an hour this night. Rolling over you look at the clock on the wall, 9 am, perfect. Deciding it won’t do you any good if you stay in bed any longer, you force yourself out of bed and into the shower. The hot water warms your cold skin, soothing your sore muscles. All the twisting and turning you did all night surely didn’t help the way you feel right now. Why couldn’t life be a bit easier by simply letting the shower wash away all of your hurt, all of your pain? A fresh start, a clean slate.

You slip on some skinny jeans and a soft sweater, not in the mood to even think about doing your makeup. You dry your hair, before making a quick ponytail out of it. You walk down stairs, the chatter and laughter greeting you as soon as you walk into the kitchen. “Morning, guys,” you say, smiling at all the happy faces before you. A round of greetings sound throughout the room.

“How’d you sleep?” Gabe asks you as soon as you sit down next to him with a bowl of cereal.

“Can’t even tell you, suddenly it was 9 am,” you chuckle, shrugging your shoulders at Gabe’s raised eyebrow. “Do you have any idea where my phone is?” you ask Gabe, knowing he grabbed all your stuff out of your car.

“Uhh, I do, but I don’t know if you really want to look at it,” Gabe says, scratching the back of his head before pointing towards the kitchen counter. It’s your turn to raise your eyebrows, walking over to where Gabe’s pointing at.

You unlock your phone, quickly checking your notifications. “Oh damn,” you mutter, looking at the absurd amount of missed calls and messages left by none other than Tyson himself.

You sit back down next to Gabe, dropping your head on your arms. “What do I do now, Gabe?” you groan. “Why does he care all of the sudden?”

Gabe rubs his hand over your back before answering your question. “Because he lost you, y/n. He never thought he would.” You turn your head towards Gabe letting his words sink in.

Gabe gets ready to leave for practice shortly after you settle on the couch with Lucas in your arms. The little man has a fascination with your hair, maybe it’s all babies who have that, but you like to think that you’re special. “Don’t pull out all y/n’s hair, baby boy,” Gabe chuckles, giving his boy a soft kiss on his head. He gives you a kiss on your cheek, softly squeezing your shoulder. You open your mouth to say something, but Gabe cuts you off. “I know what you’re thinking. Don’t worry about it, I’m his captain, but I’m your friend, okay? Just relax, make sure Lucas doesn’t puke on you and go do whatever it is that you women do all day,” Gabe chuckles, knowing you better than you know yourself. You mouth a quick ‘thank you’ to him, wishing him good luck with practice before he runs through the house trying to find his girls to kiss them goodbye.

“Your daddy is a good guy, you know that, Lucas?” you smile at the baby on your lap. Lucas coos, his hands grabbing onto the strands of your hair. “Your daddy and mommy make me feel so loved, even though their children like to see me in pain,” you joke, trying to free your hair from Lucas’s small hands. “Buddy, you’re way stronger than you look,” you mumble, when Lucas pulls on your hair again.

Melissa laughs out loud the moment she walks into the living room. “How many times did I tell you that you need to keep your hair away from him and his grabby hands?” she says, expertly freeing your hair from her son’s fists.

“Apparently not enough times,” you chuckle at her. Melissa joins you on the couch, while Linnea Rae plays on the ground with some of her toys, happily showing you what she got every now and then. It’s times like this that you’re extra grateful for Melissa and Gabe, the way they welcomed you into their family has been nothing but perfect.

“So, what’s going through that pretty head of yours?” Melissa asks, while scrolling through series to watch on Netflix.

You shrug your shoulders. “I don’t know, I’m kind of worried about practice, I think? I don’t want to put Gabe in this position,” you say, keeping your eyes on Lucas.

“You know Gabe would do anything for you, huh? You don’t know how many times he came home utterly frustrated by the way Tyson treated you. He never said anything, because you were still with him, I can’t promise you he will stay quiet this time,” Melissa says, squeezing your shoulder. “He’ll be fine, this isn’t Gabe’s first rodeo.”

You look at Melissa, who simply gives you a wink. “I know, I know. I just don’t want him to get in trouble or anything,” you say, smiling back at her. You trust and know Gabe, so hopefully there won’t be a lot of trouble today.

“If he does though, he probably deserves it.”

Gabe surprises you all with some takeaway when he gets home from practice. It’s been nice eating with other people for change, it’s been way too long. The amount of lonely dinners has been through the roof lately. Gabe nudges you with his elbow, causing you to look up at him. “No frowning at the table.”

Melissa rolls her eyes at her husband while you just stick out your tongue at him. “Sure, dad,” you say, causing Melissa to almost choke on her bite of food before she lets out a loud laugh.

“Yeah, dad. Leave us alone,” Melissa laughs, winking at her husband. Gabe shakes his head at you and Melissa, a grin plastered on his face.

It’s during dessert you find the courage to ask about Tyson. You weren’t sure if you needed to ask Gabe, you weren’t even sure if you wanted to know anything, but now you know you do. “So, did anything happen during practice?” you ask him, playing around with your spoon.

Gabe shakes his head, giving you a small smile. “Not much, just some chirping. Told him I’m his captain and he needs to fucking focus on practice. That seemed to do the trick,” Gabe says, shrugging his shoulders, continuing to eat his dessert.

You look across the table at Melissa who has the same expression on her face as you. Not convincing at all. ‘Sure,’ Melissa mouths at you from across the table. You shake your head at her, furrowing your eyebrows at Gabe’s statement. ‘Nope,’ you mouth back at her, finishing your dessert. You decide to let it go, you don’t even know why you care so much. You shouldn’t, right? You broke things off with Tyson, so why do you care so much what he does and thinks? The answer to that question is pretty simple the longer you think about it. Because you still love him, that’s why.

You thank everyone for dinner and dessert, promising to cook something from them later this week. Right now all you can think about is your bed and a decent night of sleep. God, that sounds like a true dream right now. You strip out of your clothes, crawling into the soft and cozy bed. It doesn’t take long before you fall asleep, showing just how exhausted you truly are.

The weeks that follow are filled with all kinds of activities, the 5 of you falling back into a comfortable rhythm, surprising you considering the situation you’re in. It isn’t every day you take in the ex-girlfriend of one of your teammates, or your best friend, whatever way you want to see things. When you aren’t working you spend a lot of time with the kids, trying to make things easier for Melissa and Gabe whenever they are busy or simply need some time for the two of them. You happily take on some of their care, even if it’s as simple as making sure they get their food in time. Honestly they are two of the sweetest children you’ve ever come across, they always find ways to make you laugh, even though most of the time it isn’t on purpose.

It’s been quiet around the house tonight, Melissa went out with a few of her friends, while she left Gabe and the kids with you. Apparently she needed some ‘alone time’ which didn’t include kids, and definitely didn’t include Gabe after he mentioned he wanted some ‘alone time’ with her as well. You love their friendly bickering, the love they have for each other visible in everything they do. So when Melissa gave her husband a dirty look and flipped him the bird the only logical thing to do was to start laughing at their exchange. “Have fun with them, sweetheart!” Melissa had yelled at you when she walked through the door, leaving the four of you behind.

Together you decide to just have a movie night. It’s late enough for both children to be asleep already, yet early enough to squeeze in a full size movie marathon. “Gladiatorrrrr!” Gabe exclaims excitedly while scrolling through the movie selection on Netflix, pausing on his all-time favorite movie.

You groan, covering your face with your hands. “Please no, have mercy, Gabe,” you laugh, knowing damn well you’re going to sit through this movie again. How many times has it been already? 12? You wouldn’t even be surprised. This dude really loves his movie. You look at Gabe from between your fingers, seeing the look on his face which makes you groan even more. “Fineeee, one more time, Gabe. One more time,” you whine at him, secretly enjoying his taste in movies, something you don’t plan on telling him ever.

It’s a little after 10pm when the doorbell rings. You look at Gabe, who looks just as surprised as you are. “It’s a bit early for Mel, don’t you think?” Gabe asks, furrowing his eyebrows.

“Definitely, unless she drank the whole bottle of champagne again,” you chuckle, thinking back at one of the craziest parties you’ve ever been to with Mel and Gabe.

“Oh God, please don’t remind me of that,” Gabe shudders at the memory of that night, standing up to see who’s on the other side of the door.

Gabe hates to say that he isn’t surprised to see Tyson’s face as soon as he opens the door. Honestly he had expected him at his door days, maybe even weeks ago. The moment Tyson found out you were staying with Gabe he broke, Gabe expected him to fight, to yell, to scream, he expected him to do anything except cry. Which is exactly what Tyson did, breaking down in the middle of practice. For a moment the whole place went quiet, only Tyson’s cries echoing throughout the building. No one knew how to act, no one knew what to do, until Gabe realized he’s the captain for a reason. On and off the ice. It was a weird experience, one Gabe still feels extremely conflicted about. He comforted his teammate, his friend, while his other friend was at his home, utterly heartbroken, trying to get over the guy who was bawling his eyes out on the ice.

After Tyson got over the initial shock the anger took over, just as Gabe expected. It made him almost drop the gloves, something he tried to avoid, not wanting to hurt Tyson. He let him say his things, things that absolutely didn’t make any sense, until he got everything out of his system. “Now can we continue this fucking practice, Jost?” Gabe told him after everything calmed down. Gabe tried to avoid the Tyson/y/n topic as much as possible after that, not wanting to get in the middle of things more than he already was. Until tonight apparently.

Gabe raises an eyebrow at the boy before him. “Why are you here, Tyson?” Gabe sighs, already knowing the answer to that question.

Tyson looks around, eyes flickering from left to right, clearly uncomfortable being here. “I, uh, can I talk to y/n? I know she’s here,” Tyson asks, scratching the back of his head before putting them back in his pockets.

Gabe shakes his head at him. “You can’t, if she wants to talk to you she will find a way to contact you. As long as you don’t get your shit together and prove to me, but most of all to her, that you’ve changed, I won’t let you anywhere near her,” Gabe declares, starting to get annoyed with the way Tyson acts. There’s no way he lets him close to you until you feel like you’re ready to see him again, no way.

Tyson opens his mouth, but Gabe gives him a look that immediately shuts him up again. “I’m saying this as your captain, and definitely not as your friend right now. Go home and leave her the fuck alone. You had your chance, you fucked up and now you have to deal with the consequences. How you deal with those said consequences is up to you, but I suggest you leave now and think about everything you did and didn’t do, okay?” Tyson nods his head, turning around to walk back to his car.

When he’s a few steps away from his car he turns around, smiling sadly at Gabe. “She’s my home, Gabe. Home doesn’t feel the same without her. You out of all people should understand that.”

Gabe chuckles low, shaking his head at his clueless teammate. “I do. I do know what home feels like, but I never, never choose anyone or anything over my ‘home’. Never. You sure as hell did, time after time,” Gabe says frustratedly, before shutting the door, leaving behind an even more frustrated Tyson.

You didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but you caught the sound of Tyson’s voice when you walked to the kitchen, grabbing some more popcorn. You didn’t mean to listen to their conversation, but it felt like you were glued to your place, unable to take another step, unable to do anything but listen.

Gabe walks back into the room, the look on your face immediately letting him know you know. “How much did you hear?” he asks softly, approaching you slowly.

“Enough,” you whisper, before breaking down, no longer able to keep the tears locked away, no longer able to keep your emotions to yourself.

With two steps Gabe is in front of you, grabbing the bowl of popcorn you held onto between your trembling fingers. He guides you back to the couch, urging you to sit down, which is a true challenge for someone who can barely feel the ground they walk on. Gabe wraps his arms around you the moment you sit down, allowing you to cry onto his shoulder as much as you want and need. He whispers sweet nothings while softly brushing your hair out of your face, making sure you have room to breath. Time after time Gabe proves what kind of friend he is, always making sure to be there for you when he’s needed, always doing things with the best intentions. Even if it’s just holding you until you calm down, even if it’s just speaking the truth against Tyson, even if it’s just simply being there for one another.

“Sooner or later he would’ve realized what he lost, what he gave up for an evening of clubbing or God knows what. Apparently it’s sooner rather than later, however make sure you make him work for it, if you ever decide you want to give the two of you another chance,” Gabe softly advises you, when you finally calmed down a bit.

“I will, you know I love him, Gabe. But I don’t know if I should?” you mumble, not sure if it’s a question Gabe has the answer to.

“Sometimes the heart wants what it wants. If he’s serious about you, he will work his ass off to earn back your love and trust, I promise you,” Gabe comforts you, after knowing Tyson for so long he’s positive he knows that Tyson goes above and beyond to get what he wants in life.

Maybe it’s Gabe’s comforting words, maybe it’s knowing deep down Tyson still cares, maybe it’s your own strength, but for the first time in a while you feel a tiny flicker of hope, a little bit of light at the end of the dark tunnel. Maybe, just maybe this was all worth it, maybe this is what needed to happen to get better and move forward. Maybe this is how it was supposed to go.

It’s a weird feeling, knowing your ex still cares about you, but also knowing you aren’t ready to let him back into your life like that. You don’t feel like you’re capable of seeing him yet, let alone talk to him. The need to know how he’s doing, how he’s holding up grows, but also confuses you. It’s simply a weird and confusing situation to be in. Choosing between two, maybe even more ways to handle this, while also waiting for Tyson to make a move, which he obviously can’t since you don’t want to see him or speak to him, is a hard task. A task that will require a lot of thinking. You just need a bit more time to gather your thoughts, give all of your confusing feelings a place, while making sure you put yourself first, you need to put yourself first this time.

So when Gabe invites you to one of his home games a few weeks later you say ‘yes’ right away. It seems like the perfect time and place to see Tyson from a distance again, without putting too much stress on yourself, you can just watch and enjoy the game, you don’t have to force anything. Of course your seats turned out to be way closer to the ice than you expected them to be, although... what did you exactly expect with Gabe? You know he’s been talking to both of you, kind of acting like some sort of messenger. He tried to keep it casual, just slipping in some information during a conversation, but you noticed what he was trying to do. Frankly you’re thankful for his meddling.

Steadily your heart starts to beat faster and faster the more players appear on the ice to warm up. When Gabe appears you aren’t surprised to see Tyson close to him, knowing Gabe they probably had a little chat before they went on the ice. Tyson’s eyes shoot to yours the moment he’s close by, completely forgetting the ability to skate. You gasp when he lands on his ass on the ice, earning himself a round of laughter from the people around him, including Melissa and you. Gabe skates over to him, extending his hand and helping him upright again, but not before clearly telling him he’s ‘a dumbass’. Now that’s something you can agree on.

You know Tyson has something up his sleeve when he skates off to the bench, clearly busying himself with something you can’t see. After a few more stolen glances at each other Tyson skates closer and closer to you, until he’s right in front of the glass. His left hand catches your attention, until he gives you a small and almost shy smile. “Look at him, he’s blushing!” Melissa whispers next to you. You shoot her a quick ‘shut up’ look, before you focus your attention back on Tyson.

Tyson shows you the puck in his gloved hand, mouthing to you to catch it. It takes him two tries before the puck lands on the other side of the glass, safely in your hands. Tyson gives you one last quick smile before he skates off to get ready for the game. Melissa nudges you softly, bringing you back from your thoughts. “So, what’s on there?” she asks, knowing damn well you haven’t even checked.

“I don’t know if I want to look, Mel,” you tell her honestly. Melissa gives you a sad smile, throwing her arm around your shoulders.

“Let’s look together?” she suggests. You don’t know why you’re so nervous, how much can you actually write on a puck? He seemed happy to see you, so there’s no need to be nervous that it’s a bad thing. You look at the puck, turning it around in your hands so you can read the whole thing. ‘Talk after the game?’ is written on the puck, you immediately recognize Tyson’s handwriting and his little smiley face, or.. something that should resemble a smiley face.

“That wasn’t that bad, right?” Melissa asks softly, squeezing your shoulder.

“What if I’m not ready?” you ask her, a question that has been on your mind a lot lately.

“Then you take a step back, you don’t have to prove yourself to anyone, you don’t have any obligations. But he’s trying, y/n. You’ve heard all of Gabe’s stories, you’ve seen it yourself just now. It can’t hurt to at least talk to him.” You think about Melissa’s words, she does have a point there. Talking is something you should’ve done ages ago, or at least Tyson should’ve done that. So this is progress, he’s at least trying this time, that’s more than he used to do.

It’s hard to keep the smile off your face, you can’t even pinpoint why exactly you’re smiling. Whatever the reason is, it’s a good feeling to smile again. The game sure as hell plays a big part in it, the guys are on fire, scoring goal after goal, never giving the puck away for long. There’s barely any time for you to give Tyson a thumbs up, indicating you’re up for a talk after the game. Whenever you look at Tyson when he’s off the ice he’s smiling, whether it is to himself or to one of his teammates, that smile won’t leave his face.

You follow Melissa down to the locker room after the game is over. You’ve done this so many times, but this time it couldn’t be more different. You greet all the girls who are patiently waiting on their man, getting enough comforting words from them to last you a lifetime. When the door to the locker room opens you come face-to-face with Mikko, someone you haven’t seen in a while. Mikko’s face lights up when he spots you outside the locker room. “y/n! I haven’t seen you in so long,” he says, while hugging you tightly.

“I missed you too, goof. It’s great to see you,” you smile at him, wiggling out of his iron grip. Dude’s definitely stronger than he looks.

“Between you and me, Tyson’s a good kid, he just needed to grow up a bit,” Mikko whispers against your ear, before leaving you alone again.

You raise your eyebrow at Melissa, who just shrugs her shoulders. Weird. After a few more minutes Gabe and Tyson appear in front of you, both of them joking around. Tyson nervously looks around, not sure if he should come any closer. Gabe hugs you swiftly before throwing his arm around his wife’s shoulders. “Make sure you bring her home safely, Jost,” Gabe warns him, before quickly saying goodbye to both of you.

You watch them leave, your mouth agape by the way they just left you here. Rude. “Did they just really do that?” you ask no one in particular, still shocked by their actions.

You turn around, looking back at Tyson, who still appears to be nervous. Is he nervous to talk to you? Why would he be nervous? It’s just you. “Hi there,” you smile, looking up at the man in front of you.

“Hi beautiful, it was nice seeing you tonight,” Tyson softly says, giving you a small smile.

Your insides flutter with his use of words, it’s nice hearing them even though you’re not completely sure if he means them the way you hope he does. “It was. You played great, I had a lot of fun,” you say, smiling at the proud look that crosses Tyson’s face for a moment.

Tyson leads you back to the rink, which is now completely deserted, thinking it would be a nice place to chat. For a while the two of you fall back into small talk, ‘how’s life?’, ‘how’s work?’, all that bullshit. You know Tyson and you are avoiding the actual topic that needs to be discussed, or topics? Whatever it is, there’s a lot to talk about. “I missed it here, I forgot how much I loved being here,” you tell Tyson, looking at the lights that lighten up the place, thinking back at the memories full of fun and happiness you both created here.

“I missed you, baby,” Tyson blurts out, completely catching you off guard.

Your eyes shoot back to his, you feel the panic rising inside your body. “Tyson...,” you start, warning him he’s walking on thin ice here.

Tyson’s face falls a bit, seeing the anxious look on your face. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that,” Tyson groans, rubbing his face harshly, utterly frustrated with himself and the situation.

It’s quiet for a minute, both of you completely lost in thoughts. “Why is this so hard? We used to be able to talk about anything and everything. What changed, y/n?” Tyson wonders out loud.

You feel a painful pang in your heart, because you know damn well what changed. “You did, Tyson. You changed,” you almost whisper, the truth behind those words more clear than ever before.

You watch as Tyson’s whole composure changes in the blink of an eye, in just a split second he goes from the ‘happy’ guy to the guy who’s just as heartbroken as you are. “I did, didn’t I?” Tyson whispers, the tears pooling in his eyes. “I fucked this up, how could I be so stupid?” he mumbles, burying in face in his hands. “I’m so sorry, I regret this more than I could ever admit to you. I’m so sorry, baby,” Tyson cries, trying to keep his eyes focused on you. It’s hard to keep your own tears at bay when the guy you love so much has a breakdown in front of you, so you don’t. You just let them fall.

You don’t make a move to comfort him, you do give him room to let it all out, give him time to gather his composure again. “I looked through the box, the one you left on our bed?” Tyson says, his voice still broken, still thick with emotion. You nod your head, it was something you hoped he would do. “I had no idea you kept all of that throughout the years,” Tyson smiles weakly at you. “It made me realize what a moron I have been these past few months, maybe even longer,” he continues, shaking his head in disappointment. You listen intently at him, this, this is what you hoped for all this time: realization.

“I’m not telling you that you weren’t a moron, because you absolutely were. But I’m glad you came to the same conclusion.”

Tyson chuckles at your statement, giving you half a smile. “I know, I’m a dumbass. I’m a dumbass for acting this way and a dumbass for letting you go. Any guy would be on top of the world with you by his side, and I just let you slip through my fingers,” Tyson tells you, finally showing he knows he’s been a fool all this time, he knows he let something special go.

“Is it too late for us? Can you give us another chance?” Tysons asks you, his eyes flickering between you and the ground.

You sigh softly, knowing this question would come. It’s something you gave a lot of thought, something that crossed your mind daily. “I don’t know, Tyson. I really don’t know. You really fucking hurt me, you know? I can’t just look past that, I need to heal from that,” you tell him. Tyson nods his head, a guilty expression on his face. “You made me feel worthless every single day. You didn’t even give me a second of your time day after day. All you cared about was being away. Being away from me?”

It’s right that moment Tyson interrupts you by grabbing your hands. “No. No. That’s not true, you need to believe me,” he tells you as fast as he can.

“But how can I believe you when you never gave me a reason to? Your actions showed me exactly that, Tyson. I need answers, I need to know why,” you exclaim, starting to panic again, your anxiety taking over.

“Easy, baby. I’ll tell you everything you want to know, everything you want, but right now I need you to breath. Breathe, baby,” Tyson says softly, trying to calm your shallow breathing back down to normal. “Listen to my breathing, try to follow the way I breathe.” You do as he says, following the rise and fall of his chest, gaining back control of your own breathing.

“I’m sorry,” you apologize, while Tyson just shakes his head at you, letting you know it’s okay. “Can you take me home, Ty? We can talk later, okay?” you ask him, suddenly feeling the need to crawl underneath the covers of your bed and just simply sleep for a while.

“Anything you want, y/n,” Tyson says, leading you out of the room and back to his car. You’re pretty sure he mumbled something under his breath, something very closely resembling ‘your home isn’t there, it’s with me’.

The drive to Gabe takes longer than expected, giving you more time to think about Tyson’s earlier question. You still need and want to know how he spent his nights, where he spent his nights, and why he acted like you didn’t exist. That conversation might need to wait until another day, you aren’t up for any more information, any more realizations, you still need to process everything you heard, saw and felt today.

Tyson stops the car in front of Gabe’s house, looking back at you with hopeful eyes. You know he still hopes he gets an answer to his earlier question, and you want to give him at least that. “You need to show me you changed, Tyson. Show me you changed for real and I’ll try to get past everything that happened. I can’t promise you anything,” you tell him softly, meaning everything you just said.

Tyson nods his head, a smile of relief on his lips. “I will, I promise you I will show you I changed and that you’re everything to me. I promise, baby.”

So that’s exactly what Tyson does the next few weeks, every free moment he tries to show you just how much you mean to him, without smothering you. Whether it’s taking you out for dinner, although you’re still waiting for Tyson to actually make you dinner by himself one day, to small coffee dates and fresh flowers at work. It’s been a lot to process, a lot of adjusting to this ‘new’ Tyson, or rather seeing the ‘old’ Tyson again. And you missed him, God you missed him so much.

Tyson seems happier, more at peace with himself these days, it’s a pleasant change. Often you wondered what was really going on inside his head, but you stopped trying after he waved it off again, and again, and again. The late night phone calls, or facetiming during road trips have become a habit again, something you didn’t think you would ever experience again with him. You still take things slow with Tyson, deciding to rather allow yourself to slowly start trusting him again than diving head first into a relationship again. Maybe it will never come that far again, you don’t know how the future will look like for the two of you, but for now it’s enough.

You come face-to-face with a smirking Melissa when you get home from yet another ‘iced coffee and donut’ date, even though you’re pretty sure Tyson isn’t allowed to eat any donuts. “Oh no,” you groan at Melissa’s expression.

“It’s time we have a little sister-sister conversation, don’t you think?” she asks you, ushering you into the living room.

“Do we?” you groan again, not in the mood to handle whatever Melissa wants to talk about now, because you already know it’s either about you, Tyson or you and Tyson.

Melissa flops down on the couch, patting the place next to her, indicating for you to sit your ass down. “Did you already talk to him about it?” she asks, straight to point in pure Melissa-style.

You let your head fall back against the cushions, sighing loudly. “I didn’t. We’re doing great, we’re having fun. I’m going to ruin it if I start asking questions again.”

Melissa stays quiet for a minute, trying to figure out the right way to approach this sensitive topic. “You know you deserve the truth, right? You can’t rebuild a relationship when not everything’s on the table, sweetheart,” Melissa says softly, knowing you’re struggling with this.

“I promise I’ll talk to him after the road trip, I don’t want to create any unnecessary negative energy before,” you promise Melissa, although she gives you a ‘who are you trying to fool here’ look before switching topics.

A few days later you find yourself back at Tyson’s place. It’s weird being here, knowing you don’t live here anymore. Nothing changed, absolutely nothing, Tyson kept everything the way you did, whether it’s out of laziness or out of hope you’ll come back on day. Either way it’s weird coming back to a place that’s no longer your home. You came here to talk, nothing more nothing less. You promised Mel you would, and if you’re being honest with yourself it’s time to know the truth, time to reopen old wounds and finally get some answers. You’ve grown closer and closer to Tyson, without knowing everything, without knowing you’d be able to forgive him if he ever made a misstep. It’s time.

Tyson has been a nervous wreck ever since you called him last night after he returned from the road trip to St. Louis. He knew this was coming, but he prayed you would simply forget, even though he knows that’s not fair at all. He can’t excuse his behavior, and he won’t, not anymore. You deserve nothing but the truth, the full truth. He’s not proud of it, but you leaving him opened his eyes, showed him he really needed to change. Tyson feels like that’s something he truly did, he changed for the better, he can only hope you’ll feel the same way. He can only hope you’re still on the same path after tonight.

“You did great these last games, Ty,” you smile at him. You’re proud of the way he’s been performing these last couple of games, he really stepped up his game.

“I know you didn’t come here to talk about my performances on the ice, so can we please skip the pleasantries?” Tyson sighs, catching you completely off guard with his rather harsh approach. “Fuck, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way, I’ve just been so fucking nervous since you called me,” Tyson curses, frustratedly brushing his fingers through his curls.

“You’re right though, I did come to talk. I think it’s time we lay all our cards on the table,” you tell him, nodding at your own answer.

You nervously bite on your lip, playing with the cup of water in your hand. It isn’t every day you ask your ex these questions. Questions you want the answers to, question you maybe don’t even want to hear the answers of. “I need to know if you cheated on me, Ty,” you blurt out, keeping your eyes on the ground, not wanting to see the look on Tyson’s face.

“Look at me, baby,” Tyson says, urging you to look up at him. “I never cheated on you, I wouldn’t do that to you. I promise.”

You shake your head at him, not knowing what to do with these emotions surging through your body. “It doesn’t make sense, Ty. Where were you all those nights? Where were you every time I lay in bed alone waiting for my boyfriend to come home? Waiting if he actually comes home this time or stays out all night again? Where were you?” At this point you’re past the civil conversations, past the friendly banter, you need answers, you need to know why he did what he did. The reason doesn’t even matter at this point, you need to know why. Why did he leave you alone so many nights, worrying about his well being, worrying about if he would come home at some point?

“Fuck, y/n! I know I fucked up, I know I did. But I swear on everything, I swear on my career, I swear on you that I never, never, touched another woman. I never kissed another woman, I never even danced with another woman, I did not cheat on you,” Tyson exclaims, hoping, praying you hear what he’s saying, that you’ll believe him. He didn’t do anything with another person, it was always you, it still is only you and he’ll do everything in his power to prove that to you every damn day.

“Then where were you, Ty? If you weren’t with another woman, then where the fuck were you every night you didn’t came home? Please enlighten me, because I’m so lost, so fucking lost,” you say, feeling utterly frustrated with yourself, with Tyson, with this shitty situation.

Tyson takes a deep breath, placing his cup back on the table. “Shitfaced drunk to the point I couldn’t even remember my own name, or so stoned I saw freaking elephants running all around town. Spending my money on unnecessary shit at clubs and bars, all to forget, trying to forget the fact that I had a perfect girlfriend waiting for me at home, while I did stupid shit. Fuck, this sounds even worse out loud than in my head,” Tyson groans, burying his face in his hands.

“But...,” you start, before Tyson cuts you off.

“I felt ashamed and guilty, y/n. Ashamed I let it get that far every time, guilty I didn’t tell you, guilty I didn’t come home again. One of the guys would just take me back to their place out of sympathy, letting me crash on their couch, trying to sleep off my haze.”

You try to come up with words to say, with anything but nothing comes out, you just feel.. empty? “I don’t understand, Tyson,” you say, at this point not even sure what you don’t understand.

“I tried, y/n. I tried to just come clean, but I couldn’t when you were so nice all the time, I couldn’t when I knew you would hate it, hate me. You know I’m a fucking lightweight, that makes it even worse. But those are no excuses, there aren’t any. I fucked up,” Tyson sighs, giving you a sad smile, “I couldn’t face you, I didn’t know how to show you my vulnerable side without letting it change the way you saw me. I didn’t want you to see me any different, but I didn’t notice I changed until you packed your bags and left me standing in the doorway.”

You’re absolutely speechless, there are so many things you want to say but you can’t form any sentences, any words. You just stare at him, your mind racing with an unlimited amount of thoughts. “Are you okay, baby?” Tyson asks softly, reaching out to put his hand on your arm.

You shake your head from side to side, wiping away the tears that spilled out. “I’m not okay, I’m definitely not okay,” you tell him. “I feel terrible knowing you didn’t feel like you could come to me, like you couldn’t talk to me. I’ve always been your biggest supporter, nothing would’ve changed that, Ty.”

Tyson gently wipes the tears away from underneath your eyes, scooting closer to where you’re seated. “Come here, baby,” he softly says, opening his arms for you. You hesitate for a second, not knowing if this is the right thing to do. Fuck the right thing, you definitely need a hug right now, and judging by Tyson’s facial expression he needs one as well. You lean forward, putting your arms around his neck, breathing in the familiar scent of his body. How long has it been since you hugged each other? You can’t even remember, way too long. Tyson closes his arms around you, pulling you as close as possible to his own body.

“I missed this, Ty. I missed you,” you confess, the feeling of his arms around you, the feeling of Tyson, bringing back so many memories, so many happier times.

“I know we still have a long way to go, but I hope we’ll do this together. I can’t even tell you how great it feels to have my arms around you again, even if it’s just for a moment,” Tyson says, after you both let go of each other.

“We do, but I’m in if you’re in, Ty,” you agree, wanting nothing more than to work through the issues you still have. It’s time to forgive, time to let go, time to change and time to move on.

“I’m all in.”

The talk you had with Tyson that Wednesday evening did wonders for the both of you. You still had a long way to go before you were even remotely close to where you used to be with Tyson, but the most important thing was that you were working on things. Slowly, but steadily the two of you worked on trusting each other again, telling each other important things again, just simply working on being in a healthy relationship again. Although the word never came up, you were nowhere near ready for that commitment, so you settled on something less intimidating. Friends.

It was supposed to be a regular, normal Friday evening with just Melissa and the kids. Gabe and Tyson were playing one of their most important games this season, both of them begged you to come, but it was too late to find a babysitter. Not wanting to be by yourself there and leaving Mel alone, you decided to sit this one out as well, promising to cheer them on in front of the tv. It’s the least you could do. So there you are, seated on the couch wearing your Jost jersey for the very first time again, just as you promised. Weird, like nothing ever changed, even though the exact opposite is true.

You’re bouncing a giggling Linnea Rae on your knee, looking down at her adorable mini jersey. “Look it’s your daddy!” you exclaim excitedly, pointing at the closeup shot of Gabe.

“Daddy!” Linnea Rae giggles just as excited.

You catch Mel softly smiling at your little interaction with her daughter, enjoying the love you share for each other. It’s been a blessing to have you around here, the way you care for her children, but also for her and her husband has been phenomenal. Mel couldn’t wish for a better friend, for a better sister than you.

“Oh no,” you whisper when Tyson gets slammed hard into the glass. Melissa grabs your hand, squeezing softly.

“He’s going to be fine, he’s a tough guy,” she says, trying her best to comfort you. And he is, like the tough guy Tyson is, he gets up again, shaking off the hard hit. The game continues and you’re glad Tyson is fine, skating like he didn’t just get squeezed between a glass wall and a 200 pound hockey player.

All goes well until Gabe decides the best place to smack his stick is directly against Tyson’s face, again. “Not his face, Gabe! Not his fucking face again!” you yell at the screen, thanking Mel for already putting the kids to sleep.

“Shit, that looks bad,” Melissa almost whispers, squeezing your hand again.

You don’t know many things for sure in life, but you sure as hell know Tyson will be spotting a black eye for weeks. But like the tough guy he already proved to be, he just goes on with the game, trying his absolute best to work as hard as he can, giving himself completely to the game, anything to get his team the victory.

“That’s the second time you gave my man a black eye, Gabe. Why do you keep hurting him?” you whine the second Gabe walks into the living room. For a moment the room stays awfully quiet, until you realize what you just said. “I really said that, huh?” you ask, fighting to keep the smile off your face.

“You sure did. But I’m sorry, it was an accident. Again,” Gabe chuckles, shrugging his shoulders.

“Uhu, again,” you say, rolling your eyes at your best friend.

Gabe grins at you, flopping down on the couch next to Mel. “I’ll try not to hurt his pretty face again, okay?” Gabe laughs, shaking his head at you in a playful way.

“Is it weird if I, you know.. went over to check up on him?” you ask your friends, suddenly insecure about the thought of just showing up at his door.

Gabe gives you a soft smile. “I’m absolutely convinced he’d love that, y/n,” Gabe says, pulling Melissa closer to him.

“I know he would, sis,” Melissa agrees with her husband.

“Fine, okay. I’ll be back in a few. Don’t enjoy yourself too much,” you tell the two lovebirds before finding your stuff and almost running out of the front door.

You’re giddy the entire drive to Tyson’s apartment. This could go two ways, either it goes extremely well or this backfires completely. You’re hoping for the first one. Seeing Tyson get hurt gave you some realizations. One of them is that you absolutely hate to see him hurt, and you want nothing more than to be there for him, care for him, to tell him everything will be alright. Which brings you to your second discovery of the evening: you still love him, you’re still completely and utterly in love with Tyson. You can’t, really can’t imagine your life without Tyson in it. It’s your turn to tell him you need him, tell him you don’t want to do anything without him, tell him you still see a future together.

You pick up his favorite comfort food on the way over, cake. You know his nutritionist will hate you for this, but he deserves a treat after taking a stick to the face. You chuckle to yourself when you think of the small cake you bought, it’s stupid and childish, but you love it. The fun you already had makes it absolutely worth it. You park in front of the building, hopping out of the car and quickly making your way over to the floor Tyson occupies.

You rummage around in your coat pocket for the lighter you bought alongside the cake. Quickly placing the cover back into the bag, and lighting up the ‘2’ shaped candle. You snicker to yourself, enjoying this way too much. You knock on the door and patiently wait for Tyson to open up. You hear Tyson approaching, making it harder and harder to keep your composure.

The moment he opens the door his face shifts from slight annoyance, to confused, to happy, and back to confused again. “y/n?” he asks softly, looking between you and the cake, confusion clearly written all over his face.

“Happy second black eye!” you yell, before bursting out in laughter.

Tyson can’t help but join you in your laughter, if there’s one thing he loves about you, it’s your wicked sense of humor. “You really are something special, aren’t you?” Tyson chuckles, shaking his head softly at you, a smile playing on his lips.

“You tell me, Jost,” you say, giving him a wink before walking past him and inside his apartment.

“So you bought me a cake?” Tyson asks you, looking over your shoulder to the cake on his kitchen counter.

“I sure did, thought you’d deserved a treat after what Gabe did to you, again,” you laugh.

“He sure likes to hit me in the face with things. But thank you, this really means a lot to me, baby,” Tyson softly says, squeezing your hip with one of his hands, before grabbing two plates. While Tyson cuts the cake you look for something to drink, deciding water will do for the night.

You flop down on the couch next to Tyson, immediately bringing the fork with a piece of cake to your mouth. “Oh God, that’s so good,” you moan out, you picked some killer cake.

“Don’t make those noises, please,” Tyson groans, stuffing his face with cake.

“I’m sorry I picked such a good freaking cake, mister,” you laugh, nudging him with your foot. Tyson rolls his eyes playfully at you, grabbing your foot with his free hand before you can nudge him again and again.

“Movie?” Tyson asks after you both finished your plates, although Tyson finished the last few bites of your piece. Like he said he’s a needy and hungry man.

“Sure, but just something light and funny, Ty. Nothing dark,” you tell him, knowing he’d love to scare you throughout some horror movie.

While Tyson scrolls through the movies, you make yourself more comfortable on the couch, laying back against the cushions with your feet against Tyson. He looks at you, scanning your body, clearly thinking about something since his eyebrows keep furrowing and relaxing.

“Come here, Tyson,” you softly say when he finally picks a movie to watch, opening your arms for him. His eyes shoot to yours, like he can’t actually believe you just told him that. He gives you a quick smile, before moving towards you, laying down beside you.

He rests his head against your chest, just like he used to do so long ago, his arm wrapped around your waist. “Is this okay?” he asks you, making sure you aren’t uncomfortable, even though you’re the one who suggested this.

“It’s perfect, Ty,” you reassure him.

Halfway through the movie you can’t resist the temptation to run your fingers through his curls any longer. Tyson groans softly when your nails rake over his scalp, sending chill through your body. “That’s so good, please never stop doing that,” he groans out, pulling you tighter against him.

“I wasn’t planning on it, Ty,” you tell him, smiling at the way his eyes shoot to yours.

“You aren’t? Are you serious?” he asks you quietly, eyes still locked on yours.

“I am, love. I came to the conclusion that you’re worth all the risks in life. You’re my light, my guiding light in darkness, my light at the end of the tunnel,” you say, leaving a soft kiss on his forehead. You try to express your emotions towards Tyson, trying to make him feel what you felt when you came to the sudden realization he’s worth taking a risk.

“What does that mean, baby?” Tyson asks you softly, an uncertain smile on his lips.

“It means I’m willing to give us another shot, another go. I want to try again, Ty.”

You can’t help the smile that forms on your lips when you look at Tyson’s face, the realization setting in, the happiness and the gratefulness spreading all over his face, the relief flooding through his body.

“How does that work?” Tyson asks again, clearly trying to rid himself of any insecurities, any questions he has. You gladly take those insecurities away from him.

“A clean slate, completely starting over again to give us both a fresh start. How does that sound?” you ask him.

Tyson nods at you, the happiness radiation off him. “A fresh start, I like the sound of that,” Tyson muses. The changes on his face fascinates you, it seems like he goes through a whole range of emotions in just a few minutes. Until he reaches one you know all too well, mischief. He looks at you, the familiar glimmer in his eyes tells you he’s definitely up to something. He sends you a soft and sweet smile, that almost melts you into a puddle right there and then. “Hi, I’m Tyson,” he says, extending his hand to you. You can’t help the laughter that bubbles out of you, this is exactly how Tyson is. Funny, charming, an absolute dream.

“You’re a goof, you know that?” you tell him, softly shaking your head at him, but the big grin on your face tells him you loved that. Tyson intertwined his fingers with yours, squeezing softly. When he doesn’t make any other moves you take matters into your own hand, slowly leaning in and softly pressing your lips on his. The familiarity, the rush of emotion flooding through your body hits you like a ton of bricks. The feeling of his lips against yours light something deep inside of you, and just like that you finally feel complete again.

[ynderebot]

OFFICIAL POST

危険...DANGER.

LOADING…ADDING NEW FILES... █▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ 10% ███▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ 30% █████▒▒▒▒▒ 50% ███████▒▒▒ 100% ██████████

COMPLETE.

ファイル...FILES.

choi yeonjun. nancy mcdonie. lee gahyeon. kim sunwoo. kim doyeon. choi san. kim sihyeon. yang jeongin.

執着型 [ shuuchaku-gata ] obsessive.

"where were you? who were you with? what were you doing? why didn't you answer my messages? oh come on darling, don't be like that...I've been waiting for hours!"

[ PROFILE 1. ]

choi yeonjun.

5'11. 21 yrs old. September 13th, 1999. virgo. blood type a. born in seoul, south korea

at age 14 yeonjun was sent to a boarding school in japan, this is where he discovered his...tendencies. halfway through his first year he met a girl, kang iseul. he was instantly infatuated with her, he had an impulsive urge to know every little thing about her. to do so he befriended her, using his appearance and charms to win her over and eventually made her his. the euphoric rush that ran through his body when she was officially his was like nothing he'd ever felt before. she was finally his and he didn't intend on letting go, not without a fight at least. he was in for a shock when one day she tried to run away after his true colors started to show. unfortunately her best friend was killed by yeonjun for trying to help her, but she did escape.

he's a switch with no lean. a hard/soft dom or obedient sub all just depends on his mood and how he's feeling

[ PROFILE 2. ]

nancy mcdonie.

5'4. 21 yrs old. april 13th, 2000. aries. blood type o. born in daegu, south korea.

nancy was always a little obsessed with things, she'd go through phases too. she would find one new hobby/thing that intrigued her and hyper fixate on it for a few months. then, just like that it would be forgotten as if it had never happened. it started from a young age too, so when she would tell all her friends and family about the boy she met it came as no surprise to them. soon enough he was all she talked about, all she cared about, it was true obsession. everyone around her thought that it was just a phase like everything else, but they were sadly mistaken. the day he broke up with her, she lashed out. screaming that he couldn't break up with her, no she wouldn't let him break up with her. even after that day she would never stop talking about him, she tried to stay involved with his life as much as she could and even ended up scaring away any potential lovers. she never stopped either, until she had no choice when he moved away.

she's a sub, usually obedient but can be bratty if she's in a mood.

ストーカー型 [ sutookaa-gata ] stalker.

"how did I know? I'm always with you, following you...watching you...it's only because I love you"

[ PROFILE 3. ]

lee gahyeon.

5'3. 22 yrs old. february 3rd, 1999. aquarius. blood type ab. born in seongnam, south korea.

she was so excited when her crush asked her out, she couldn't contain herself. the problem was, it's difficult to get to know someone when you already know everything about them. she'd been stalking him ever since he caught her eye, every single day. she'd follow him to and from school, to his friends house, wherever he went she usually wasn't far behind. he could never find out about that side of her though, so she played along. laughing at childhood stories she heard him tell previously, pretending to be shocked when learning things she already knew. even after they began dating she continued to stalk him, he noticed things were off. she was the one he confided his "paranoia" in and she was the one who reassured him, but little did he know she was the cause of it all.

she's a sub, also obedient but can be bratty if she feels like it.

[ PROFILE 4. ]

kim sunwoo.

5'10. 21 yrs old. april 12th, 2000. aries. blood type b. born in seongnam gyeonggi, south korea.

unlike gahyeon, sunwoo was not always a stalker. he'd heard of stalkers but it never peaked his interest, he didn't even take any note of his slightly possessive tendencies. until his first relationship that is, his first partner showed signs of cheating. he might not have realized his own possessiveness and how it was seemingly growing stronger, but he was no fool. all the coming home late, the scent of another person that was not their own flooding the house when they entered. so he began following them around, at first it was...innocent, or as innocent as stalking could be. they were cheating, this made his possessiveness shoot through the roof. he was most aggressive and warned his partner that they do not want to do that again. they listened, and he continued to stalk them, it turned into a fun...game of sorts.

he's a switch with a sub lean, soft dom/occasionally bratty sub.

独占型 [ dokusen-gata ] monopoly.

"who were you talking to? do they know me? no no, do they know you're mine?"

[ PROFILE 5. ]

kim doyeon.

5'8. 21 yrs old. december 4th, 1999. saggitarius. blood type o. born in wonju-gangwon, south korea

doyeon had always been just about as normal as you could get. until she got a boyfriend, she was possessive of him sure...but it was nothing too extreme. until she started having doubts, all the gorgeous girls that would go up to him, flirting and doing who knows what when she wasn't around. she made it her mission to let everyone know he was hers and she was his, wether it meant glueing herself to him or just reminding everyone at school on the daily. ever since he broke up with her, her tendencies only grow stronger and more extreme with each passing minute.

she's a sub, brat tendencies but will be obedient sometimes

[ PROFILE 6. ]

choi san.

5'9. 21 yrs old. july 10th, 1999. cancer. blood type b. born in namhae-south gyeonsan, south korea.

san's first love was a girl in his sister's class, was she a year older than him? yes, but he didn't care. despite all the people telling him he would never date her, he proved them wrong and he did. everything was perfect, they were both madly in love with each other, spending every minute of every waking day together. until something happened that san hadn't expected, his sister began to steal his girlfriend. well "steal" in his definition at least, she'd wanted to talk with his girlfriend every once in a while before he knew it they were always together and it seemed as if he was the real third wheel, this pissed him off more than anything. he got fed up one day and got into a physical fight with his sister, shouting about how the girl belonged to him and only him. from then on out he's made sure to stay in the middle of every single relationship.

he's a switch with no lean hard/soft dom or obedient/bratty sub, it all depends

排除型 [ haijo-gata ] removal.

"you haven't seen them in a while? I'm sure they're alright darling, after all I'm the only one you need. isn't that right?"

[ PROFILE 7. ]

kim sihyeon.

5'6. 21 yrs old. august 5th, 1999. leo. blood type b. born in bundang-gu, seongnam-si, south korea.

she's a sub, usually bratty but can be obedient too

[ PROFILE 8. ]

yang jeongin.

5'8. 20 yrs old. february 8th, 2001. aquarius. blood type a. born in busan, south korea.

he's a switch with a slight sub lean but can be a soft dom

sihyeon and jeongin's stories go together, they were childhood friends and neighbors. eventually they realized that they had feelings for each other, but this soon after developed into a toxic mindset. the thought that they only need each other, no one else. one by one people from the other's life began to disappear, especially anyone who could be a romantic rival. they were both oblivious to the other's actions until each confronted the other, instead of being upset they were each ecstatic. ecstatic that the other felt the same, that they were the only person they needed in their life

notes/rules

this isn't an accurate representation of any of the members/their companies/groups nor am I claiming to be them!

all of the members are bisexual with no lean

all of the members are yanderes [ obviously ] so they will act as such, however some can be more possessive than others at times

the ones who can be the most possessive are sihyeon and jeongin and the least are yeonjun and nancy

sihyeon and jeongin are obviously not still dating, it was just for backstory/plot purposes

nsfw is an option, if you would like it included please state so when you activate the bot

however please don't make everything nsfw, it gets boring when the plot dwindles

nsfw is 18+ but purely sfw option is available if you aren't comfortable with it or if you're below 18

all the members have hard kinks and their hard no's are scat/feet, if you still aren't sure just ask admin before doing anything

they all use the traffic light system

and please don't try to put them in a different headspace!

to talk with admin use any variation of [ ], { }, ( ), etc

admin is 18 and might get busy occasionally but will try her best during those times

this bot is open for oc's/yn's/ and other bots as well

to activate the bot dm and then admin will ask a few questions/come up with a plot with you and after that the role-play can start up

if you ever wish to deactivate the bot just say so to admin, ex. [ I would like to deactivate the bot now ] and your chat will be deleted

if you decide to reactivate it you'll have to go through the same activation process you did the first time and start over

please respect the members and admin and they will do the same

good luck...好運

sorry this post is so long- 😭

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Just Ask

Prompts: Hey… So, I was wondering if you could write a fic where one of the sides are dyslexic? Since that usually just ends as "Oh, I can't read, oh no!" and not like the actual neurodiversity it is. Yes, I admit, I want to relate to one too, but… Well. It'd be awesome if you would, but if that's too tall an order or too specific that's fine too. If you do, though, maybe college AU with roceit? -anon

Hi you're amazing! I love your writing and brand of writing and just I've read a lot of your stories and I love them all kskejejwuwugfhsv-

I was wondering, if you take requests, that maybe you could write a human AU with fake dating Roceit? With confident fat Janus because we need that! Or not, that's your choice!

(I sound like some snob asking for a highly specific coffee shi-) - anon

oh babe y'all wanted to be FED huh

Read on Ao3

Warnings: slight ableist/fatphobic language

Pairings: roceit

Word Count: 2487

Sometimes, you can get all of your work done in the library. Sometimes, people are ableists.

And sometimes there's something wonderful in finding out there's someone there for you as well.

Roman scrubs his hands over his face and sighs. Between waiting ages at the printer or absolutely destroying his retinas by staring at a screen for hours on end, he isn’t unhappy with making the choice to save the environment by using less paper but god.

“At least this pdf was convertible,” he mutters, scrolling down to see how many pages he has left. The last four weren’t and reading without the right font is a fucking pain in the ass.

Seven pages left. Great.

Roman focuses on the screen and starts to mutter under his breath again. Focus on the word, figure it out, make the sentence, move on. Pause to take notes, make sure it’s legible to read later, and repeat.

A computer and heavy bag thuds onto the table next to him and he jumps, almost knocking his coffee over. He looks up, glaring at the person who stares down their nose at him like he’s some sort of stain. Rude.

“You’ve been here for like, three hours, dude,” they say, like that’s supposed to justify their behavior, “move. I need this spot.”

Roman looks around. There’s like, four more tables open. “Can’t you just go sit somewhere else?”

“No! This is my spot! You can go sit somewhere else.”

“Well,” Roman mutters, glaring at his screen again, “I was here first. So you can either wait until I’m done or sit down.”

“Dude, I swear—“

“Excuse me,” comes a smooth voice that has no business being this polished in the fucking library, “is this person bothering you, sweetie?”

Roman turns around and his mouth drops open.

“J-Janus?”

Janus raises an eyebrow, crossing his arms and glaring at the dick with the heavy bag. Who, as a matter of fact, seems to be muttering and stuffing shit back into said bag.

“Sorry I’m late,” Janus drawls, still sounding way too confident and way too much like he knows what’s going on, “got held up after class.”

“Uh, no problem,” he mumbles, glancing over his shoulder to see the asshole is still standing there, “just, um…working.”

“Ah, well then, you won’t mind if I join you.” And with that, Janus sits down with a flourish, propping his chin up on his hand and fixing the asshole with an impressive look of disgust. “And you…you can leave.”

“Look, buddy—“

“My partner and I have work to do,” Janus says, swiftly cutting them off and making sure Roman has no idea what’s going on, “now leave.”

Roman’s really glad there was no ambiguity that Janus could’ve been talking to him, because he’s about ready to bolt. Only when the asshole has retreated does Janus turn his gaze to him.

“Sorry about that,” he says, flicking a speck of imaginary lint from his gloves, “he seemed like he was bothering you. Thanks for playing along.”

“Oh, uh, no, I’m, uh—“ Janus raises an eyebrow as Roman stumbles over his words— “sorry. Uh, thanks?”

Janus chuckles. “Oh, no worries, sweetie. I was happy to do it. Although…”

Janus squints at him and Roman fights the urge to squirm under that gaze.

“You’re in my seminar class, aren’t you?” Roman nods. “The one that let out three hours ago?”

“Yeah, uh-huh.”

“Have you…been here since then?”

Roman nods, trying to get back to work and, you know, maybe get out of here, only for Janus to reach across the table and still his hands as he goes to pick up the pen again.

“Have you eaten?”

“What?”

“Eaten,” Janus says slowly, mouth stretching into a smile, “lunch, sweetie.”

“Uh—“ no, is the correct answer— “I was going to?”

Janus just gives him a look.

“…no.”

“Mm.” Janus glances at his computer and notebook. “You’re not by any chance attempting to read all of the assignments in one go, are you?”

Roman’s guilty flush seems to answer that question for him. Janus sighs and it’s such an odd mixture of disappointment and fondness Roman hasn’t earned that his brain spits out the only question he actually wants an answer to.

“Why are you here?”

Janus chuckles. “In the library, at this school, or are we already to the point of questioning the very nature of existence?”

Roman just blinks at him.

“Oh, relax, sweetie, I’m teasing.” Janus glances off in the vague direction the asshole wandered off to. He leans a little closer. “I know how…difficult it can be to try and do work when they bother you.”

Roman’s cheeks flush. “Oh, uh…thanks, then.”

Janus waves a hand. “It’s none of their business why you’re doing so much work at once. Even if it does make you skip lunch,” he adds with such a pointed look that Roman can’t help splutter.

“I was going to! And you’re not my mother!”

“No,” Janus purrs, “but like any good partner, I like to make sure my sweetie takes care of themselves.”

Roman does not squeak, despite Janus’s chuckles, but he does start to fiddle with his pen. “I can’t…stop yet.”

“Why ever not?”

“Can you stop,” Roman blurts, scrubbing his hands over his blushing face, “please? For like, two seconds?”

“Sorry, you’re just adorable.”

“Stop, dude, seriously, if you want an actual answer to the question?”

“I’m done,” Janus chuckles, “I’m done, sorry.”

Roman takes a deep breath. He fiddles with the pen. “It’s just—with my dyslexia, it takes a while to…find the, um…”

“Zone?”

“…sure.”

Janus hums in understanding. Then he reaches into his own bag and pulls out a book of his own. “Then we may as well work together until you’re finished.”

Roman blinks. Hi, hello, brain is confused, what just happened in the last five minutes?

Janus waves a hand in front of his face. “Hello? Sweetie? You okay?”

“Sorry, I’m just—trying to process what happened.” Roman blinks again. “Because it seems like some asshole tried to take my seat, you came up and pretended to be my partner to scare them away, proceeded to badger me about taking care of myself, and now you’re…still here?”

Janus nods. “That’s how I experienced it too, that’s correct.”

“…so now what’re we doing?”

“Well, I’m also going to try and get some work done, you’re going to finish your work, and then we’re going to get lunch.”

“And what about the dude that now thinks we’re partners?”

Janus looks at him and shrugs. “I’m game if you are.”

Roman blinks again. Is…Janus suggesting they fake being in a relationship to, what, defend Roman’s right to sit wherever the fuck he wants for however long in a library?

“What’s in it for you?”

“Pardon?”

“You heard me,” Roman says, “what’s in it for you?”

Janus’s fingers still on the book he’s pulled out. He sighs and looks up at Roman.

“How long have you known about your dyslexia?”

Jumping around a bit here, aren’t we? “About six years, why?”

“And you know how to manage it? For you?”

“Uh, yeah, why?”

“That doesn’t mean it goes away,” Janus says softly, “it’s still work, you just…know how to do it now.”

“Yeah, it still takes me time to do things, why—“ Roman’s eyes widen— “oh. Oh, wait, you mean—wait, what do they have against you?”

Janus’s mouth tugs up into a smirk. “How sweet.”

“Shut up,” Roman mumbles, “you know what I mean.”

Janus just winks at him before sobering. “Well,” he says wryly, gesturing at himself, “surely you can understand that…not everyone treats you very well when you aren’t the circumference of a toothpick.”

Oh. They’re those kind of assholes. Something Janus chuckles about when that thought gets out before Roman can stop them.

“Quite. I can manage them, but it’s still work.” He looks at Roman. “Maybe we can split the load?”

“I’m down with that.”

“Wonderful. Now,” Janus says, mock sternly, “get back to work. We have lunch to get.”

Roman chuckles. “Sure, sure, don’t ask to borrow my notes.”

“I would never, I just forget things like a cool person and make things up that the professor likes to hear.”

Yeah, this is gonna go just fine.

As it turns out, it does. Roman won’t lie, he was…skeptical about the viability of this plan of theirs. He’s read the stories. He knows how this works. He knows about the misunderstandings and whether it’s a bet or a dare, something goes wrong.

But…nothing does.

Watching Janus tear anyone to shreds is entertaining enough in class, where Roman gives up on taking debate notes and just watches because goddamn, but when he gets to stand there and just glare at some ableist while Janus verbally decimates them? Poetic cinema. He debates sneaking some popcorn into his jacket pocket but that would take away from the power of his glare.

And it is nice to have someone else do the work of glaring assholes away from his table when he’s working on reading. He would be lying if he said that actually having someone else to talk to isn’t part of it. It’s so much easier to keep track of where he’s messing up so he can focus on it during his exercises later.

“You know,” Janus remarks as they leave the library one day, “you can ask the professors for editable pdfs.”

“Huh?”

“For your font stuff.” Janus nods toward his backpack. “I know you like to change the font so you can read it better, most of them have editable copies of the materials.”

“Not for the eBooks and scans and stuff.”

Janus huffs, waving his hand. “How do you think they get the audio transcripts for the recorded versions? They have to transcribe it anyway, just ask for those.”

Roman stops. “How…how do you know those exist?”

Janus just taps the side of his nose and winks.

“Can…can you do that?”

“Of course.” Janus links his arm through Roman’s. “Anything for you.”

That shouldn’t do what it does to Roman’s chest.

Because yeah, okay, maybe Janus is…really cute.

Like, unfairly cute.

No one should be able to rock that hat all the time. And the gloves. And the pocket watch. And the curly hair. And the attitude. And the impressive vocabulary. And the razor-sharp wit. And he actually knows how to flirt! What is flirting? All Roman knows is Gay Panic™ and Suffering™. What is this? Why is it allowed?

And why, oh why, did Janus have to be the one that started the fake-dating idea?

Because here’s the thing. It would be so easy to just be friends with Janus. It would! They’re already friends now, fake-dating kind of does that to you. And Janus, despite what he wants everyone else to believe, is a fucking dork. His actual laugh is squeaky and bubbly and ugh, Roman could drown in it. And he’s really kind. It’s not the same breed of kind that Roman’s used to, but goddamn, Janus is so sweet when he lets himself be. And it’s been so long since Roman had like, an actual friend…

But it would also be so easy to be more than friends with Janus. To actually be able to take him out for dates and not just lunch at their janky cafeteria. To be able to spend time together that isn’t just for show, or platonic, or just hanging out ranting about stupid dead supposed-to-be-smart people.

Again, Roman’s read the stories. He knows how this is supposed to go.

So when he takes a little longer to pack up one day, enough that Janus notices and eases himself back down into his seat with a soft, real, ‘what’s wrong, sweetie, let me help,’ Roman prepares the bittersweet ‘nothing, I’m fine,’ and to swallow down everything real.

But instead…

“Can we, um, actually date?”

Janus blinks. “Come again, sweetie?”

Roman fiddles with the buckle on his bag. “I, um, I really appreciate what we’ve been doing, and I, um, I’m super happy being your friend…”

“The feeling is mutual.”

“…but I, um—“ god, why are words so hard?— “I think I would actually like to try…dating you. For real.”

He peeks up nervously at Janus.

“Is…is that okay?”

Janus sits there, silent. He blinks a few times. Then a slow, real smile spreads across his face.

“Roman,” he says softly, almost too quiet, even in the hush of the library, “why do you think I proposed this idea in the first place?”

Oh.

Oh.

Roman blinks. “Wait, you—you?”

A pretty flush covers Janus’s face. “Well, I…was planning to ask you normally, but then I saw you being absolutely tormented and…panicked.”

“You panicked?”

He throws his hands up. “Well, what was I supposed to do? The most gorgeous person in my seminar was being bullied and I was supposed to just let it happen?”

Wait. Back up. Roman is what?

“And yes, maybe I...wanted an excuse to be your friend first, but as I said, I panicked and so—“

“You—wait, you think I’m pretty?”

Janus stops, mouth open, before he’s scoffing. “Roman, have you seen yourself?”

“Uh—“

“At least you’re pretty,” Janus mutters under his breath, “pretty and dumb, but pretty.”

“Hey!”

“You can be big of brain and dumb of ass at the same time, sweetie.”

“Oh, says the man whose idea was to fake-date me because you wanted to actually ask me out!”

“I will not be lectured on dramatics from a theater kid.”

“That’s ex-theater kid to you.”

“Oh, you know once you go, you never come back.”

Roman giggles. Then he’s laughing. Janus joins in and oh, this is much better than shoving feelings down and pretending they don’t exist.

“You’re such a fucking dork.”

“No,” Janus purrs, reaching over to boop the end of Roman’s nose, “I’m your fucking dork.”

Oh. Oh, that sounds…really good. Roman’s chest is really warm now, when did that happen? Janus smiles too.

“So…dinner?”

“You’re paying.”

“I’ll pick you up at six.”

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[view-from-over-the-controller]

Half-Life 2 and Episodes 1&2 - Why 2023 is the best time to experience this masterpiece. 

Half-Life 2 and its episodes are a cult classic that I revisited in 2022, they are the cool older brother of the gaming industry, sometimes lost on modern gamers now due to their age. But when I picked up the orange box for Xbox 360 I didn't expect this perfect little collection of games to live up and almost point out the flaws of current video games as they did. They have a class about them, a poise, a nuance that makes them feel utterly distinct. 

Much like the cool older brother they have “lived” they have this mystery and status that makes you wish you were there in their hay day, but have a level of care and attention in their design that makes them some of the greatest games that have ever been made. 

In this blog, I will break down how the Gameplay, Story, Atmosphere, and creative freedom make these games just a must-play even 18 years plus after their release!

“Pick up that can” - Gameplay

Possibly the most surprising thing to me when I re-acquainted myself with this masterpiece was the gameplay. The last time I played Half-Life 2 was an era ago when I would sit in my tiny gaming dungeon of a room and wait patiently as the loading screens buffered on my original Xbox! Since then most of the quaint pieces of gameplay had slipped away from my memory as it had been so long. So when I entered into some of these fantastic moments, now flawlessly loading on the Xbox Series X and with some all-time great games under my belt I was invigorated by how much this game stands out to this day as an example of fantastic and intuitive gameplay. 

Physics are are the heart of these games, they are often referred to as a tech demo with a story and the use of these is constantly engaging and makes for some really memorable moments that stand out now against modern games. You are often presented with a scenario that feels like walking into a room with a set of tools hanging on the wall and everything you would need to use them on sprawled out on the floor. Moments that exemplify this are where you are hindered and need to find out via the use of physics how to get yourself to where you need to go. 

As opposed to the more modern takes like Breath Of The Wild where you are literally put into a room with the available tools in the shrines, or God Of War where things at times feel inorganic and forced (you are Kratos why can't you just smash through it?) Half-Life organically places you into scenarios that are obstacles and puzzles but also tutorials and feel like realistic barriers that require problem-solving. 

Such as putting bricks on one side of a see-saw-like plank so that you can use it as a ramp, or using buoyant barrels to fill an underwater crate to rise a platform. Later in the game and into the two episodes the gravity gun opens up so many fantastic and engaging ways to work out how to fix problems like when you can shunt a car into a hole at the top of burrows to stop the Antlion enemies from crawling up out of it. But what makes the physics-based puzzles so fantastic is their variety, their pacing and placement, and that they feel less intentional to get more hours out of the game but genuine obstacles for you to get through to get to where you are going. The tools are often laid in front of you but in a more experimental, do-it-yourself way, you can certainly see how these fed into Portal, utterly brilliant. 

Another thing I must mention before we move on from gameplay is the plethora of weapons that Half-Life offers you as a player and how they not only have a distinct feel but also affect how refreshing and engaging the gameplay feels. The guns are super varied, from the zombie smashing shotgun to the hard-hitting Combine pulse rifle with its ultra satisfying reload animation where tiny spider-like robotic arms discharge and replace the ammo pouches, and a secondary fire that shoots an energy ball that bounces around the room and vaporizes any enemy it comes into contact with. But each weapon doesn't just offer a different means to destroy but a different strategy, Caught in sniper fire? Use cover and sneak up and throw a grenade into where they are. Facing a lot of zombies? Run away through an alley with a gas leak and use the pistol to ignite the flames and watch them burn away! Strider waltzing around laying waste to you and your freedom-fighting pals? Use a rocket launcher and a healthy dose of cover! Antlions burrowing from the floor fly aggressively at your face? Use the ant lion pouch from a queen and they become your new minions to pile into unsuspecting Combine troops. 

Lastly, the gravity gun is the perfect example of how a weapon can be a gameplay tool, use it to pick up objects and smash them into the Combine. Or zombies, or Zombine! Use it to move supplies from unreachable places into your hands, use it to move turrets that are pelting you, Or when supercharged use it to literally grasp the very physical being of your enemies and toss them into each other, or better yet the abyss of the citadel. The gravity gun is one of the most diverse weapons in any game I have ever played, Offering a means to overcome obstacles and puzzles, but also cleverly use it to attack enemies with projectiles! Whatever the weapon the joy of using any of the ones given to you in Half-Life is that there is rarely a moment that they don't also offer you the opportunity to use your ingenuity and find clever means to make them the most lethal, and fun they can be!

“The right man in the wrong place can make all the difference in the world” - Story

Half-Life and its episode's narratives on the surface are about a struggle against a brutal enemy, to bring down an overarching power as a rebellion. To fight Stormtrooper-like enemies and bring down the greater evil that controls them. But before you walk through a crowd of people and are awarded a medal of honor from the alliance, that you hopefully donate to the Wookie that accompanied you along the way, you should realize that this is more than a battle against a cackling Sith lord in a hood but a visceral tale of control, totalitarianism, loneliness, humanity, hope, and desperation that I believe especially now strikes a powerful cord. 

In the wake of the Black Mesa incident, the combine is now almost in full control of the human race, but rather than a swift obliteration there is something more desperate and demoralizing happening, humans are in a suppression field that stops them from breeding. They are under lockdowns in numbered cities being fed on repeat the words of Dr. Breen, a voice that seems to have the feeling of something that is trying to offer you comfort but there is a disconnect, the feeling that although his words are presented in a manner of assurance that there is something just not right, and leaves you with a feeling of unease. 

His echoing words saying, “Welcome to city 17, it’s safer here” then later justifying the current state of goings on and the suppression field in a long speech answering a concerned citizen that had written to him which included disconcerting comments like, “Do our benefactors really know what's best for us? What gives them the right to make this kind of decision for all mankind?”, “Our true enemy is instinct, inseparable from instinct is its dark twin superstition, instinct is inexplicably bound to unreasoning impulses, instinct has just become aware of its irrelevance, and like a cornered beast it will not go down without a bloody fight. It must be fought tooth and nail, beginning with the basest of human urges: the urge to reproduce. We should thank our benefactors for giving us respite from this overpowering force. The suppression field will be shut off the day that we have mastered ourselves. And that day of transformation, I have it on good authority is close at hand”

Although I have abbreviated Dr. Breen's words I believe even here there is enough to unpack, the combine are a disconcerting and mysterious entity, they wish to remove instinct and combine people into subservience, they do this by keeping people scared and forcefully policed. But they also apply further means to shatter the human spirit, keep people moving, and keep people confused and lonely, the people you first meet at the train station echo this, the woman waiting for her husband who she was separated from during the stopping of a train, the man who warns you off the water, “They put something in it, to make you forget, I don't even remember how I got here.” and a man pacing in anxiety about the trains explaining, “They are always departing but they never leave, there always full but no one ever gets on” all of this confusion caused by the combines clever schemes to sever what I believe is the most important human need, connection. One of the ultimate forms of that is sex and the ability to reproduce. Humans are being “Humanely” culled by the suppression field.

The combine are a powerful, intimidating force that makes people submissive through fear, now before I get all “does any of this remind you of the world you're living in now” I will say that Half-Life's story is a sight grimmer than the current state of the world we live in, but the removal of individuality, the lean towards subservience, the use of harsh physical fear inducing policing to establish control, and the voice of a man in a suit in control of where you reside telling you everything is okay but there is just that feeling of mistrust like he’s leading you in a direction that is in no way beneficial to you but certainly to him and his “benefactors” do all in some way make me feel a little uneasy about my own reality and I think that alone is a powerful thing for a video game to evoke in someone. 

But what the story of half-life also does is highlight something that I certainly believe in and that is the unbreakable human spirit. Instinct is the very deep biological call that makes us question the uncomfortable and rise up against it. It's the feeling that calls you to remove yourself from situations that feel wrong. Even if it's that time you're offered a cigarette for the first time and your heart sinks and you think, I shouldn't be doing this. Gordon Freman embodies this, not only for the humans but for the Vortagons too, he is this silent anomaly, that finds a way no matter the situation of force against him, he is the guiding light you play as and every individual fighting the good fight against this suppression rallies behind him and gets to bask in his “freedom” the “free man”. The supporting cast are brilliantly written characters that fight with an upbeat and at times comedic energy against this seemingly unbeatable, unrelenting enemy with limitless resource. Alyx particularly has a great aura, a cheekiness, and slight air of flirtation, but also a childlike nature to her that makes her character particularly lovable, seeing her react to her father or dog is heartwarming, and her mischievous nature showing in excellent moments like when the lights cut out and she makes a zombie noise and laughs as you rush to turn your torch on worried you have unwelcome company but its really just her. 

Each character in halflife and its episodes which are mostly solitary games manages to have genuine feeling and is really well delivered in the moments they get to shine, even Dr. Breen as an antagonist is perfectly performed and used in the narrative. They all add to the great storytelling and they all really motivate you to fight for the people around you, for freedom, and against those who seek to quell it. 

Lastly like with any great storytelling, there is almost more mystery to half-life than there is revealed to you, who are the benefactors? What happened during the seven-hour war? How did Gordon get to city 17? Who is and what are the motives of the Gman?.......................................

{Fades to black} - *A Man in a dark suit approaches with slightly of center, but piercing turquoise eyes*

“Rise and shine…….rr, reader of this blog, Rise and shine! Not that I wish to imply you have been… sleeping on this read. No one is more deserving of a rest. All the effort in the world to understand would have gone to waste until….well, let's just say your time to continue reading has….. come again”

“Welcome…Welcome to city 17” - Atmosphere

The penultimate and perhaps to me most important part of this piece is about the atmosphere, Half-life has a near unexplainable magic in its atmosphere. Not only the source engine itself seems to carry this feeling but the sound effects and music do too. This is that of an eerie almost alien feel. Like you are being watched, but also alone. It's powerful, the sense of being disconnected with what is going on around you but also being intrinsically linked to everything around you as the protagonist. 

The sounds of this game are so distinct, from the distant monotone robotic overlord voice echoing throughout the streets of city 17, to the sounds of the Combine's muffled voices behind their gas masks and the loud flat line as they die, the hissing of Headcrab's, the guttural moaning of the zombies that sound not only terrifying but also like they are suffering, the thundering, alien but yet mechanical moan of a strider, the hum of the gravity gun, the slight tinniness to the sound of anything being moved as if the sounds were recorded in a vast empty room. There is something individual about all of it, but there is a near indescribable nuance that seems to spread between the music and sounds that mirror that feeling of something Alien, of being watched, of being alone, a feeling of despair but also a feeling of hope and at times a sense of calm. Later games like The Last Of Us combine these feelings also but what makes half life special in comparison to The Last Of Us is that it manages to add that spooky otherworldly feel into that mix also. 

A great example of this that I must highlight is the moment when you are under a bridge high above some water and there are these broken metal rails that loosely connect in a platforming section to the other end. As you begin to cross the song “Lab Practicum” plays, this song is filled with preternatural noises and a gong-like synth combined with the whistling wind hits you. (GO ahead and give it a listen) It is a stop-and-stare moment that along with the platforming, the metallic sounds of Gordons feet hitting the metal rails between jumps, and the intense rattle as one of the mysterious trains plows overhead, this is the most “Half-life” feeling moment I can possibly describe from the game. In my opinion, it connects with that part of us, that 6th sense or that “feeling” you get. I will now just place a couple of quotes below I found on the youtube link to this song that not only illustrates how this same piece connected with others but that they also tap into this “feeling” it gives them. All of these games throughout leave you with moments of this. It's just fantastic. 

“This song makes me feel like there is something important I have forgot but I don't know what”

“This song feels like wanting to go home, but knowing there is no home”

“The only way I can describe this is, it's not depressing but just feels like eternal loneliness”

“The Abyss stares back”

Lastly, in this section about the fantastic atmosphere of these games, I must quickly tip my hat to a certain section of Half-Life 2 and that is Ravenholm. As a kid I think Ravenholm was the first time alongside my lifelong best friend that I truly felt fear, the game forces you through this area after cruelly building it up with the chapter name “We don’t go to Ravenholm”. This area is completely overrun by zombies and turns the game from a puzzle shooter to a horror game just for this segment, it's dark, gloomy, and full of zombies old and new. Especially the “Runner” zombies with their distant echoing howls, as opposed to the usual moans of the slower zombies they are particularly terrifying as they sprint on all fours at you and squeal aggressively as they lunge at you. The mood and general ambiance of the zombie-riddled wasteland give this area a distinct and horrific feel. But what I really want to highlight is the first moment you lay eyes on Ravenholm as I feel like with the bridge that this is a seminal moment.

The broken sign lays before you in white block caps you read “RAVENHOLM” and there is a tree with the bottom half of a body strung up on it swaying gently. The feeling of this area is just so eerie and you just have that awful gut check as you gaze upon this obvious and harrowing obstacle in your way and think to yourself “Nope”. This section is an example of how these games throughout the main and episodes flip the script, put you into different scenarios, from the citadel to the outposts, to city 17 and they all have a distinct, interesting, and memorable feel, but what is magic is that those feelings being watched but also being alone, those “spooked hairs on your neck stand up and you check behind you but no one is there” feelings are particularly special and something truly worth experiencing.

“This is the Freeman. The Combines reckoning has come” - Creative freedom

My final reason that I think that these games scratch the “Man this is a great video game and I am thoroughly enjoying myself” itch so well in 2023 and beyond is the feeling of freedom this game has. In a world where movies/games/media feel like it's rinsed dry and has no end in sight this game has a real refreshment to it. As Disney descends back down the hill to the skinny malnourished Star Wars cow, to give her yet another milk to package up and sell to us again, I personally feel a tiredness, a slog that feels like “Create, consume, create, consume” with characters being brought back that stood alone as excellent stories to be given more context and back story, that in my opinion detracts from one of the greatest things about storytelling, Mystery! Now Mos Isely cantina feels like a school reunion as you can probably name 90% of the characters in there and explain how they are all linked when, to begin with, it was this murky bar with strange and fantastic creatures drawing your eye and filling you with wonder. 

Despite standouts like God Of War or Last of Us franchises that go back to the cow and find a new udder with perhaps even tastier milk than the first, Games feel to me like they are restricted like they need to only go back to the safe, and familiar ground but feel like they are under pressure from external forces to ensure they tick political boxes and comply, to market well or be seen to fit in. Which I think in certain circumstances makes them come across as pieces of art made by people who don't really “love” what they are making. They are often filled with obvious and tiresome tutorials and safe narratives. Although I am fully confident that games will continue to be amazing works of art, they definitely feel like they are products more than art at times now. Narrative games releasing with skins you can change the main character to if you purchase them. These kinds of things can make them lose that special magic. 

Half-life is free of this, you can tell there is true craftsmanship behind each moment. That the people that made this game really cared about it, they cared about the narrative, the characters, the world, and the setting, and really cared about keeping this game mysterious. Half-life features a diverse cast of characters that don't feel deliberate but natural. Its narrative is about oppression, humanity, and hope. But none of it feels like it is trying to make a political statement, of course, all art derives from life, but you can tell it's from a time when people were not scrutinizing it because of social issues, and it is just a piece of art. It's a strange mysterious game full of fantastic fun, that shows you where to go without a mini-map and a curser ahead of you, it guides you without words. Silent tutorials like walking up and seeing a flammable barrel and ahead of you a slippery surface leading to the tongues of aliens that you get caught in and they pull you into their mouths above, so you throw the barrel down first and shoot it as it ascends and blow them all up. It gives you problems and the tools without a prompt appearing saying “Barrels can be used to blow enemies up if shot”. Its design does this for you, it makes you think but gives you the tools to work out problems as I mentioned earlier. This along with its narrative that is in my opinion about highlighting that gut “Feeling” of “this isn't right” and ensuring you fight against it makes these games feel so special, especially now. 

These games have a freedom, a narrative that doesn't need explaining because you are supposed to wonder, to question why? I don't think you are ever supposed to really know what's happening. We don't really deep down know why we are what we are as humans, or what is beyond? Or what was before? But like Gordon here we are in this moment, faced with it all, with near no explanation and we may as well pick up a crowbar and follow our feelings and do what we can do help do what we can to feel free. They feature gameplay that promotes being inquisitive and finding a way to move beyond your current obstacle where you can tell the developers care about every moment you find yourself in. There is magic in their atmospheres that evokes so many feelings. They are the foundation from which so many fantastic games have drawn from. They have a timelessness that makes them seminal and so very playable now. They are masterpieces and I belive that the reasons above should give you the motivation to grab yourself the orange box and fire up a console or jump on steam and give these games a playthrough in 2023. if you're lucky it’ll be your first playthrough or if not like me last year give them another whirl and enjoy the nostalgia trip as perhaps you will find the experience, “Freeing”.  

{Your eyes blur as if reality is crashing all around you, a man in a suit approaches again}

“Time…….. Is it really that time again? It seems as if you have only just arrived. You have read a great deal in this short timespan, You've done so …. Well in fact, that I have received some interesting offers for your services, ordinarily I wouldn't contemplate them. But these are …….. Extraordinary times.”

[astaroth1357]

Demon Brothers Meeting the MC’s Family

I mean, if they have any family at all, what could they even tell them anyway? “Sorry Mom, still in Hell so I won’t make Thanksgiving but I’m doing great though!” This is another long one folks, but I lowkey kind of love it a whole lot. Sooo fun to write. One of my favorite posts so far.

Lucifer

Thinks it's a little weird that they’re so adamant to introduce their family to a literal demon but also kinda gets it. Family is the most important thing to him too.

Is very focused on making a good first impression, from image to attitude. Their approval isn’t going to do jack to stop him from being with the MC but he’d still take pride in being able to charm them for a night. Besides, if the MC cares then so does he.

Has more experience with the human world than the others so he’d know a lot of the do’s and don'ts already. They won’t need to worry about him making some kind of slip up.

Would love the irony if the MC’s family is religious at all. Christian/Jewish especially. May or may not play along with their little rituals but is going to make a lot of thinly veiled, passive-aggressive comments towards his "old man."

Would be most comfortable in a setting where there’s a lot of intellectual discussion or debate. He loves to steer a conversation down towards politics or other controversial things to get a rise out of people. The MC may need to reign him in if that’s a big no-go zone.

Isn’t really going to get along with any younger siblings the MC might have. Either he’s too stiff or too scary. If they’re looking for a playmate, look somewhere else.

Also not going to be particularly fond of any pets they have one way or another. Though he may take a shine to pitbulls or rottweilers because they remind him of Cerberus.

Mammon

You sure about this, MC? Him? Really? Are you really sure? He’s going to think they're crazy but he’s not going to refuse.

Will be so freaking excited if they’re from a well-to-do or, dare say, rich family. So much stuff to steal admire. Yeah, yeah no stealing from the MC’s family, he gets it... He’ll really try his best but it might be good to keep an eye on him.

Surprisingly though, he’s not going to be disgusted if they’re from a poor family either because the dude gets it. Money is hard to come by and things can be tough. He might even… pay... for some stuff while he’s there... You know, if he can. Don’t make a big deal out of it… He's got an image to keep.

He’ll try his best to not come off like a total scumbag and it may actually work. He’s rough around the edges but there’s plenty of chances for his better side to shine through as long as he stays on good behavior. 

They will have to be sure that he doesn’t get to talking too much because his dumbass will let it slip that he’s a demon. 

Mammon may not love kids but kids love him and any younger siblings are going to do the same. Even if he calls them little gremlins, he’ll let himself get roped into whatever game they’re playing and make it a lot of fun in the process.

Bring on the pets! He’s more of a dog person but he’ll play with a cat too. He may not be as animal-obsessed as Satan but he loves a good furry companion every once in a while.

Leviathan 

NOOOOO and you can’t make him!!! A social event involving strangers where he has to make a good impression?? Fuck no, that sounds like actual hell and he doesn’t want anything to do with it!

… But he also can’t just let the MC go back to the human world alone because what if they meet someone better than him and get reminded that they’re with a good-for-nothing otaku…? Okay he's going. But he’s going to pout about it.

His first impression is going to make him come off like a nervous wreck no matter what. There’s really no polishing this bundle of anxiety. The best he can hope for is to ride this thing out until it's done.

Will be pretty quiet and cling to the MC like a life-raft the entire night. Refuses to be left alone with their family in any capacity, he could not handle the awkward silence. If they’re going to the bathroom, then he’s going too damnit.

If they have a pretty nerdy family then he might be a bit more comfortable. Especially if any of their siblings/parents game or are into anime. Steering conversation more towards his comfort zones will help him out a lot...

If they have little siblings who play a lot of video games then he is going to be the coolest person in the world. Period. He knows all the best strategies to practically any game out there, demonic or human. He may even loosen up a little bit and start smiling if he gets to wow an audience with his gaming prowess!

Like Lucifer he’s not going to be all that impressed with pets either way. He’ll think fish are pretty neat and probably even reptiles too but don’t expect him to get too cuddly with a dog or anything.

Satan

Doesn’t hate the idea but agrees that his name is going to have to change if they’re really serious about it. “Hey everybody this is my boyfriend, Satan!” is only going to be appealing to very niche circles...

Like Lucifer, he's going to be mindful of how he comes across. He'd rather the MC's family likes him than didn't, even if it's irrelevant, so expect him to be very polite and sociable. Damn near the perfect gentleman.

… Until something/someone sets off his temper. He may not go full Wrath on the situation but it's probably best to get him out of the room real quick so he can cool down.

Would love if the MC comes from an super educated family but it’s not a must. He's the kind of guy who will ask a lot of questions about any person's profession/skills and how things work regardless of background. He's curious that way.

Either way, he is going to show off his smarts and make sure that their family knows where his intellect is at. He wants them to know that the MC picked someone with a good head on their shoulders, after all.

Best keep him away from small children and bratty teens. He isn't exactly opposed to kids, but it takes one little shit to set him off and NO ONE looks good yelling at someone else's kid. Deserved or not.

Will there be cats? Do you have a cat? Please say you have a cat! He's okay with dogs too but if the MC has a cat this man will be ecstatic. The cat will love him and he will love it right back. Honestly, he's already adopted it. It's his now. Who's MC?

Asmodeus

Baby, you can take him anywhere and he’ll be the life of the party! A little family gathering doesn’t matter to him.

Is going to make sure that the moment he walks through the door the MC's family is in awe of what a catch they've got for themselves. He wants them to be proud of their little MC! To him, that translates to looking good and being fun!

Hope this is a house used to physical affection because he will not (and probably cannot) turn it off. Everyone gets hugs. Everyone.

Extra affectionate the whole night. He'll hold the MC's hand or arm or waist or really any part he can get away with. Kisses on the head and cheek aplenty. He may also lowkey butter up their parents with loads of compliments no matter what situation they're in.

If he's told to cool it on the touching though, he may get offended.

Is going to be better with teenage siblings than little, little ones. The man lives to give dating advice, fashion tips, or makeovers, you name it. Though he has to be careful to mention just human products and not some of the stuff he has back home.

Animal fur on his clothes? After he dressed himself so carefully?? No thanks. You can have your cute puppy or your little kitty. He'll take pictures, but he's probably not going pet much.

Beelzebub

Is honestly kind of honored by the suggestion. The MC is already a part of his family so it only seems natural to make him part of theirs. Though he has some reservations, mostly around his appetite...

He doesn't go up to the human world very much because it's really hard for him to stay fed. He's well-known enough in the Devildom that restaurants know what to expect when he walks in. Not so much up there.

Arrange the meeting around a state fair, festival, or carnival where the food is plentiful and he's golden. Hopefully their family won't be too disturbed by how bottomless his stomach is…

Beel is a sweetheart through and through but his lack of knowledge about how the human world, or humans in general, work might come back to bite him. He may need a little 101 about human manners before going.

Truthfully, their family is in for a real treat! This giant may look intimidating, but he's as gentle as they come. The kind of guy who will carry their grandmother’s bags with a smile on his face just for the sake of being helpful. 10/10 Sweetie, mother will approve.

Ooooh little kids are going to love Beel. He'll let their siblings hang off of him like a jungle gym. Will also play games with them if they want him to. Doesn't matter to him, their family is his family too and he wants to see them all happy.

Man wants dogs. Preferably big ones that he can rough-house with but little dogs he can cuddle work too. Do remind him that he can't just rip a whole-ass branch off a tree to play fetch like you could with Cerberus.

Belphegor

Really? You want that? Lol, okay but no promises. This is pretty much the equivalent of sticking two unlabeled chemicals together in a beaker and leaning in to see what happens. Who knows, but now you're stuck in the middle of it.

He's not going to try especially hard to make a good impression or change himself in any way. If their family is into people who are kind of chill and sarcastic then he'll get along swimmingly. If they were expecting more of a Satan type, yeah. No. He's not holding open any doors.

Won't be taking the whole thing all that seriously to be honest, like, what are a bunch of humans going to do if they don’t like him? Tell MC? They're certainly not going to be able to make him leave. He's humoring them at best, even if he's nice, so why bother fussing about it?

Might be a disrespectful little troll at times like pretending to fall asleep or making casual jokes like "Oh no, ma'am. I'm not all that comfortable with that cross over there because I'm a demon. …. Got ya, didn’t I? That'd be silly." *shit-eating grin*

Would appreciate a quiet, slightly introverted family the most. He's going to start getting annoyed if people in the house are too loud and may speed the whole thing along as a result.

Kids are things he'd rather avoid than have to interact with, but if pressed he will humor the little ones too. Don't expect him to do a whole lot of moving, though. If they're happy to just show him things that he can semi-pay attention to, that works for him.

MC has a pet? Is it fluffy? Is it lazy? Bring'em here. Like Beel, he likes big dogs but would rather just bury his face in fluff than try to wrestle it. He may actually fall asleep with them if they lay still enough for it.

[stardew-mermaid]

im WEAK for my faves as parents and i know lots of y'all are too so here are

bachelors as dads vibes

(bachelorettes as moms will come soon too ❤️ under cut cause it got very long lol)

sebastian

a chill dad. when u were very little he'd let u sit in his lap while he codes and consequently u find heavy metal soothing cause he would be playing it while he works and u would always fall asleep against him

if he wasn't using his second computer u could play around on it while he works. 'existing in each other's company while u both do stuff' time becomes a regular thing even as u get older, u would do ur homework next to him at his desk and he'd help if u were confused

the first time u were deemed old enough to go for a ride on his motorcycle u were SO fucking hyped even if u had to be absolutely decked out in protective gear. sometimes while u were in high school he'd help you flex by picking you up/dropping you off on the bike

would bundle u up in his hoodies as a toddler and there's a few pics of u absolutely SWIMMING in them with the hood all the way over ur face pretending to be the grim reaper. he'd never been so proud

elliott

an eloquent dad, but still has goofy dadlike tendencies. he may be the picture of a dark academia dilf with his slacks and button ups sipping coffee in the morning over a manuscript, but he'll still make the jokes. calls u things like little one and taught u to play piano

he got u ur own little bookshelf for all ur baby books and he'd read to you every single night without fail. he'd make up stories too and u would help and make a collab tho it often got u more excited than relaxed for bed but it was worth it!!! when u were grown up u helped him compile the short stories u made up together and published it. he'd also share with u poems he wrote for you and about you over the years, lots of them to do with the wonder of watching a whole tiny person grow into a big person

would always take u on nature walks and play at the beach!!! u would find shells and rocks to give to him and he'd always look like u just handed him pure gold

u made a pact that u would sit still for him while he did ur hair if u could braid his hair in turn. u both looked very stylish

sam

cool dad!!! fun dad!!!! watches anime with u when u get into it and is forever ur player 2. if u had a skateboard or a scooter he'd always show u up by pulling off sick tricks and it became a friendly rivalry. taught u to stick it to the man at a very early age. teaches u to play guitar and took u to ur first rock concert when u were like 8

there are baby photos of u wearing sunglasses that cover half ur face and when asked about it he'd say 'u were just a rly cool baby!!!!' in some of them he's wearing matching sunglasses and carrying u in one of those front baby pouches. he'd also always sing to you as a baby and still does it idly sometimes and has written songs for u!!!!

ur #1 hypeman. praises u for everything and always makes sure u know how cool u are just for existing. he loses his mind at ur grade school talent show and at ur graduation he's there holding up his phone and crying like FUCK IT UP KENNETH!!!!! 😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️

tho alongside all the fun he teaches u to be very responsible and polite and above all extremely kind!!!!

shane

has the most potent typical dad energy. the socks with sandals, the jokes, the ac/dc, the funny hobby projects, the rivalry with other pta parents, all of it. calls u squirt and kiddo and the kind to ruffle ur hair. always gives u piggy back rides even as u get older, says it helps him stay in shape. when u were little you'd always bap ur baby hands against his stubble cause heehee funny scratchy face

u loved when he was in charge of dinner growing up cause it was often takeout pizza/burgers. 'hey im making a pot of kraft dinner should i double it for u' kind of guy, adds cut up hot dogs and after ur other parent voices a need for nutrition adds frozen veggies too. VERY good at cooking all kinds of eggs tho, would always feed u eggs from his own chickens and would accept nothing less!!!

teaches u a lot about chickens and some of ur fave memories with him are in the coop or chillin in a field in spring with him and the new chicks. some other faves include the regular tea parties with him and cousin jas, and even as u both get older u all sit down and have tea together sometimes and occasionally break out one of the old barbie movies for funsies

u learned how to say fuck from him when u were 3 and he died laughing. if called and told that u got into a fight at school would reply with 'did they win'

harvey

sweet, dorky doctor dad. would get SUPER worried whenever u got so much as a cold, made u stay home and rest and HYDRATE. taught u proper medical standard handwashing from when u first learned how to turn on the tap, also taught u a lot of basic first aid. when u were fussy he would read u his old textbooks from med school and it'd get you to sleep in minutes

refuses to let u leave the house without eating something first and would often get up early to make u a big breakfast before school (it's the most important meal of the day!!!!). yes it's ok if ur late ur english teacher can wait until you've had ur veggies. when u were a baby his standard of keeping u fed was 'if i had to change less than five diapers a day it wasn't enough'. encourages taking a snack and water everywhere

as u got older u realized how hardworking he is so u make sure he knows how much u love and appreciate him, goes all out for his bday and father's day like how he goes all out for u every day and it makes him cry. he cries at ur first birthday and ur graduation too, cried when u got him a #1 DAD mug specifically for his morning coffee, he just cries a lot and it's very endearing, dad taught u it's okay to be emotional. u also gift him funky socks to wear at work and he goes bananas for them

he taught u how to assemble model planes and u would sit with him while he tuned his old radio, u liked the bwee bwee sounds. he would play jazz and swing and dance with u standing on his feet. when u were little u liked to play with his moustache and occasionally he would fall asleep while watching u but the most u ever did was add a goatee to the stache with washable marker which he thought was pretty funny

alex

strong dad!!! jock dad!!!!! would flex and let u hang off his bicep, play wrestle (u would always win), sit u on his shoulders and run around making airplane noises, play sportsball in the yard and would come up with fun challenges for u if u got bored of catch. pretty much the master of keeping ur baby self entertained and was always there to tuck u in for a nap when u got tired out

makes an extra protein shake for u every morning and loads of scrambled eggs, will also sneak u a cookie tho

he's always super encouraging and positive and enthusiastic about everything u do which u pick up fast. u go to his games and even if sports turns out not to be ur thing the fact that ur there rooting for him makes him put in 1000% effort, calls u his good luck charm!!!! he will also throw u over his shoulders and use u for weightlifting while u shout encouragement directly into his ear. this continues until ur grown up (and sometimes even then so he can flex even as an 'old man')

gets really really worried about you whenever ur sick or get hurt and will lose sleep over it but stays upbeat for ur sake. he will cuddle u tho. sometimes you'll ask for stories about ur grandma and he'll tell u and it's so nice to him to talk about his mother and smile instead of being sad, you help him heal because it's so wonderful to think of her as a grandmother and how proud she'd be. he plays her music box for u to help u sleep when ur little and it still makes u feel sleepy and safe when ur older