#also i'm reading the book 'how to adhd' and this post is inspired by the chapter 'how to motivate your brain'

[studiousandrogynousfox-blog]

we go again!

i had a bit of a breakdown yesterday over studying because i was already way off from my plan after just a couple of study days and preparing for exams already felt like an impossible task. and i just couldn't see anymore why i was even trying to do it and felt so lost and helpless.

but today is a new day and i've found a reason to keep trying: i'm doing it for my dad!

not because he'll be disappointed in me if i don't! he wouldn't be. he'd absolutely understand, because he attempted to get a degree with undiagnosed adhd and no help whatsoever. he dropped out when he had to write the dissertation. so i'm doing it for my dad because he's so proud of me for even trying!

so, dad, this is for you!

[thebibliosphere]

Hi there, ive come from your post about ADHD and emotional disregulation, firstly thank you so much for putting it into words, its such a complicated part of how i deal with emotions and i havent ever been able to articulate how to why.

Secondly, in that post you mentioned how you've used stress as a motivator and how eventually your stress regualtion broke, i was wondering if you'd be willing to talk about that? (If not, its not a problem)

I feel like the same thing has happened to me but until i read your post i had no idea that something had... snapped? I suppose? I struggle with motivation all the time and in the past id have a week or a few days left and id be able to suddently push myself very hard to complete whatever it is before the deadline, just barely making it in most cases. However now it seems that i can't find that motivation anymore, deadlines come and pass and i can't being myself to work on anything, and i just end up spiralling into shame and guilt. That motivation was the only thing that I was able to rely on sometimes for things like uni, and i conviced myself that it was just me growing lazy or trying to get out of responsibility as to why the "last minute panic-mode" doesnt work anymore.

Again, if you don't wanna tackle this can of worms or if it's something youd rather not post online i totally get it, its no biggie! thanks so much for making the original post as well, it means a lot

Hello friend, thanks for the message. I'm sorry you're also dealing with this.

The good news here is that I've already talked about this using the rubber band analogy my therapist gave me. (Stress is like a Rubber Band)

If you don't have the mental bandwidth to read all of it now, the tl;dr is "stress is like a rubber band; it can stretch to hold numerous things in place when you need to, but if you do it too often or keep adding more and more strain under the band, the elastic eventually becomes brittle and snaps, taking your mental and sometimes physical health with it too."

I've been in intensive therapy for this for roughly three years now, and trying to piece my brain back together after my last bout of stress-induced productivity gave me a total mental breakdown.

It's... odd not being able to use stress and having to actively avoid it to avoid a relapse. But it is doable. Medication would help, but alas, I've got weird health issues and am unmedicated at the minute.

(And just in case that sparks anyone to go, "Oh, you do all this unmedicated! Wow, that's so inspiring!" as sometimes parents do to me on here as they then tell me they don't want to medicate their kids, I've unfortunately also written a post about what that kind of success looks like from an unmedicated perspective and the kind of suicidal ideation I deal with on the regular because I cannot take meds. It is not pleasant reading, but it is necessary for some folks, specifically anti-med, "if you just tried harder" people.)

A book you may find helpful is Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle, by Emily and Amelia Nagoski. It was very validating for me to read about other people going through the same things, and made me feel less of a "this is a personal failing on my part" and more of a "Oh okay yeah, no stress literally breaks people."

It helped soothe some of my own internalized "I just need to try harder" and helped cement me on the path I was already going down with my ADHD therapist toward changing how I view myself and how I manage my ADHD.

I hope that helps! If you've got more specific questions or I didn't touch on something in my old post, I can try to answer them :)

[wishfulsketching]

What a year, huh.

I'm not going to talk about how everything is going to shit in the real world, that's not what this post is about.

I can remember that before Gotham, I had a bit of trouble trying to get inspired about art. I did end up doing a lot of original art due to that, tho. Gotham was the nice return to a hyperfixation that got me back to creating, which felt like a saving grace tbh. I draw A LOT, you may have noticed. I thank my ADHD for that. So, when I'm unable draw I do struggle spending my time in any meaningful way.

I also started reading again this year. Murderbot Diaries got me by the throat, I love those books so much. I've also liked T. Kingfisher's books so far, haven't read that many yet, tho. I also read in english, not the translated versions, so it's a nice way to "use" my english skills.

I finally started needle felting this Christmas! I've been meaning to do it for yearsss. Bunnydog was my ever first attempt, Slowpoke was my second.

Arcane season 2. Woohee, I had totally forgotten when it was going to drop! It was a good thing tho, I was saved from a lot of painful waiting around, hah. I might've chickened out of the Zaundads fandom back in the day but it's so much more chill now. Well, kind of. I do see people complain a bit in the tags. Plus I bet it's a lot worse in other sites. ANYWAY!

I feel like that in this short time after season 2, I've gotten better at art and got my groove fully back. I am so grateful for people who just keep being so nice and support me here adsfsdfo! I said it back in 2021/2022 I think but I'll say it again: zaundads fandom has been one of the nicest fandom I've been part of. (I have to mention tho, so is riddlebird fandom)

I'm still a bit overwhelmed with all the attention I'm getting, I admit, but I am also so happy I get to share my unhinged love for this stupid little man.

My next year will start with job hunting and balancing my mental health (I've been "in recovery" for years, it's gonna be a adjustment to start working. I am still very much struggling but not as much so I have to find a job that doesn't kill me in a month lol).I've also made one new years resolution which is that I will more actively display and live my preferred identity and not just go "eh whatever, I know how I actually feel like so". Not gonna be easy because I get embarrassed about everything and will want to backpedal so hard at the start but uhhh...I'll try not to? Eh.

Yea. So a lot of new things for the next year and I already feel tired. But hopeful!

I'll end this post by randomly sharing my fave CJU gameplays because his gameplay vids always help me to relax:

I couldn't find the playlist so here's PART 2 and PART 3. I really love the story in this one.

A game I expected nothing from and now rewatch this playthrough ever so often. PLAYLIST

Love the game, love the commentary, love the vibes! PLAYLIST

[inspirationallybored]

Just a little frustration, but mostly confusion.

(This post is about Generative AI, and I am against its use in creative aspects, but I have a question, so please be respectful).

So, my mom, an English language and literature professor, someone who writes for leisure, someone who loves reading and writing, had decided to write a book of her own comprising of short stories, and once she got the hang of it, publish some books for children and teenagers.

Amazing idea, right?

Well, yes actually. I was joyous to hear it.

Until she told me that she would be using ChatGPT to find the ideas and the baseline for the plot. Of course, she would be changing the actual story flow and the language, but the starting point would be generative AI.

And like, I don't know. I was mad initially (I didn't tell her tho), because it's gen AI, and I have always been against that. I'd rather write down my cringe worthy, indulgent, barely coherent fever dream than even look at ChatGPT.

But here's the thing. I also like to use writing prompts on Tumblr and YouTube as a writing exercise when I'm out of inspiration. Sure, the interpretation is all mine, but so is hers. What's the difference between using a writing prompt from Tumblr and using ChatGPT for a story idea?

I usually procrastinate and spend weeks falling into a rabbit hole on language trade because I was naming one small country with no significance whatsoever, or learn how names affect personalities while naming a minor character. But I also know that people use gen AI to look for names to avoid falling into this very same problem. One of my irl writer friends (who has ADHD btw) used gen AI just to start off on finding a name for this Eldritch DnD world. The name he chooses later is his own mix-and-match, and the concept itself, down to the intricate details, are all his. He didn't rely on ChatGPT for anything except for finding the starting point for a name. And I'm ok with that to be fair, in fact I would love to be able to find a starting point instead of roaming around too (it's a different thing that my experience there has been less than satisfactory).

Some people use gen AI to organise their mess of ideas. Some use it to find an exact word. Some use it as their personal stenographer (actually it's just one person who did that, copying from Google Docs is a pain, so she just sent screenshots to ChatGPT and had it type out for easier transferring to other platforms). And I can understand that.

Of course, if you are using AI to write a story, idea and all, and only tweak a couple of things in there, that's just trash, I condemn that. Using AI to write for you is disrespectful to the vast imagination of the human mind, and to the efforts of people who put in the hard work to create and build an idea into a piece of art.

But now I don't know this: Why am I angry at the usage of an idea from ChatGPT to create a story using your own words, when writing inspiration and prompts are fine? Why can't I use gen AI to look for a word even though I am using Google for the exact same purpose? Where do I draw the line between ChatGPT as a tool, and it as a replacement for creativity?

And before anyone says otherwise, I am strictly against AI for usage in creative writing, or any creative work. I just want to understand nuance instead of being steadfastly stuck on a black and white view.

[thewolvesof1998]

Wolf my beloved!!!

I love your buddie Morse code fic, do a directors cut for that! :)

-❤️🪐

Saturn my love <3

Thank you so much!! I loved revisiting this fic, it's been a while, hope you enjoy!!!

Tapping Morse Code into your heart (2.8k, E, Buddie): Post AO3 Wow okay throwback. This was my fourth fic, I posted it almost two years ago, which is just insane. This was my first fic that wasn’t inspired by a song, I honestly can’t remember what inspired it, probably just the idea that we don’t get a lot of Army Eddie in the canon. Also, just like hyperactive ADHD Buck is my everything.  It was also my first explicit fic, I was so nervous about it, I think I’d written some light smut but this was the first time I was writing smut for people to read. First time writing sub/dom dynamics even if they're pretty light in this fic. Lots of firsts with this one.

"Eddie tapping silent comforts into his skin." I just loved the idea of them having their own little language, I think as a fandom we've always talked about how in sync they are but I just liked that the Morse code was an intentional form of communication. Buck has to learn it to communicate with Eddie. We all know Buck went home and fell down a rabbit hole about the creation of Morse code and info dumped on Eddie the next day. Eddie, already knowing most of this probably just nodded along and listened intently.

"Eddie remembers the feel of his lips pressed against the skin, pressing in words he didn’t know how to say yet. Writing ‘you are mine and I am yours’ into his skin with his mouth." I love this line, I remember writing it and being proud of it. This moment is also one of my favs in this very short fic. I love possessive Eddie, I need to write more of it, I just know when Eddie comes to terms with his sexuality and his attraction to Buck, when they finally get together that man will be so damn possessive. He'll want to shout from the tallest building that Buck is his.

"The sound Buck makes is damn near holy, Eddie’s never been one for worship, that is until he meet Buck, now he could spend the rest of his life at the alter of Buck’s body." How could I not add in some religious imagery, especially when we're in Eddie's POV? Has it been done before, yes, will many of us do it again? Yes.

“Now you're going to get yourself off like this, without touching yourself and if you do it quick enough, I’ll fuck you”  Okay, this is not really punishment, Eddie knows it, Buck knows it, I know it, you know it but Eddie really just wanted to see Buck hump the mattress can you blame him? I find when the writing is flowing it feels like I'm just dictating what the characters want to do. They have their own thoughts and feelings, wants and needs. Sometimes I'll want a story to go one way and the characters will drag me in the other direction. If I remember correctly this fic practically wrote itself, looking at the file I started it on the Friday and posted it on the same day.

"Dot-dot. Dot-dash-dot-dot, dash-dash-dash, dot-dot-dot-dash, dot. Dot-dot-dash. (I love u) Buck says it over and over again, Eddie’s not even sure if he’s doing it on purpose or absentmindedly. He doesn’t care, he would lucky to be absentmindedly loved by Buck for the rest of his life." Two things here, first 'lucky to be absentmindedly loved by Buck for the rest of his life.' I WROTE THAT and I got to pat myself on the back for that banging line. Secondly the the issue of how to write the Morse code. I went back and forth, trying to find the best way to write it, to make sure it's readable but also not too long but still be "Morse code". It was such a headache. The way I ended up doing it is clunky but the easiest to read, for me at least.

"“Do you think you were good? Good enough to get fucked?” Eddie asks" Just to be clear Eddie was always going to fuck Buck, Buck is always a good boy in his books, he just likes teasing him and Buck is a slut for a good tease.

"Buck’s love language is touch and Eddie is always down to prove to him just how much he loves him." Okay, so I still stand by the fact that one of Buck's love languages is touch, the other top two are quality time and acts of service. But you can't tell me that boy - Buck- (and most men) are not touched starved. fuck the Buckley parents.

"Eddie brings up his hand to the board expanse of Buck’s back, to where his heart lies underneath his skin, muscle, and bone. He taps. Dot-dot. Dot-dash-dot-dot, dash-dash-dash, dot-dot-dot-dash, dot. Dot-dot-dash. Dot-dot-dash-dash-dash. (I love u 2) Hoping it will permanently mark the fragile muscles of his heart so that when Buck finds himself second-guessing if this is real, he will always have a reminder of how much Eddie loves him." I do have to say that this is a pretty damn good end to the fic and I love the imagery of these two so wrapped up in each other, both of them having hands over each other hearts, Buck from the front, Eddie from the back. Eddie's wish that Buck will always know how much he is loved despite what his self-sabotaging mind will try and make him believe. A nice sappy ending to porn without plot 😂

Thank you again Saturn, it was really nice to return to such an early fic of mine. <3<3<3<3<3

[scary-pixie]

November 1st = New Tina Year! (secret diary entry and upcoming goals)

I'm mainly writing this down so I don't slack off! Cause if I slack off I can look back on this and think, "wow, you failed terribly. dingus."

Ahem.

Anyways, I am in the process of thinking up some new short term goals now that:

2024 con season is over (with the exception of some smaller events)

Spooky Season is almost over (I like posting non-stop spooky stuff during this delightful time)

Twitter is going inside the toilet

Magazine troubles (more on this below)

I have met the famous man whose inspiration played a big role in both: a) getting back into drawing my old OCs after 15+ years (little round glasses are a bad influence), and b) getting brave enough to be on video after saying I would never do this for god knows how long. (secret: I watched a certain music video with one of his characters the morning before I made my own). BUT HE WILL NEVER KNOW ABOUT THIS AND I WILL NEVER TELL! I AM FULL OF CRINGE!!!

This is what I'm thinking at the moment, in terms of my next creative direction. I appreciate any thoughts or advice!!:

My OC art was an absolute flop in terms of gaining new social media followers. Bluesky seems to be a LITTLE bit better, but it's still early to tell and I haven't posted too many of my OCs there yet either. For the time being, though, I plan to get back to my Schoolism subscription assignments since I've been neglecting them for a bit!

good lord I need to flatten my stomach somehow, as I cannot fit into my preferred fashion choices. I quit watching TV for a while in the summer, which helped a bit (I tend to eat everything in the house while I watch), so I may try this again soon.

arm workouts are going alright I guess, I am gaining a bit of muscle in my armes so they do not look so much like noodles.

Tempted to get back into posting video game screenshots and mini-reviews on social media since people really liked this stuff, but I'm worried it might just add more to my plate.

I'm really enjoying doing videos now, I'm just not sure which direction to take them (or if I even should take them places). I tend to film a lot of myself and a long-time friend in the car just saying stupid shit, but I don't really want to post all of these.

I wish to read more books without falling asleep, jesus christ this is tough.

On a similar note: the magazine I used to write book and comic reviews for has SHUT DOWN GOD DAMN IT so maybe I'll write some new stuff here?? Not sure yet!

I need to get back to my Japanese studies!! I used to do them at lunch and dinner but now I get distracted by all the awful political shit online! Aaaaaaaa!! I really hope America doesn't combust in the next few days but I guess we'll find out soon...

Finally, I need to be more active HERE! It's the best place for longform writing and art that might be a bit too "cringe" for the general public. Let's see if I can stick to it!!

I think that's all I have to SAY for NOW. Wish me luck in sticking to my goals instead of spiralling into ADHD Twitter nonsense, aaaaaaaaaaaa!!

Tagging a couple frands: @prometheus-ghost @fadingdreamerdream @thewebspinner @autolykiss @draganwhorror

Also anyone who actually wants to watch my shitty ass videos, the link is below. I have a bunch more but haven't posted them! https://www.instagram.com/kittensoft39/reels/

[b-ichael]

Bichael 👓

I like to draw (when my brain allows me to! ♡) I usually draw guys in anime-inspired style.

✴ Current Boom:

Blue Lock's Zantetsu which is funny because he looks like me. please send asks pretending I'm Zantetsu

Manga reader and I'm not done reading yet so no spoil!!

Art by grmms_otk on twitter ✨

Last update 07/18/25

she / her because I'm a girl

he / him because my persona is a guy

it / its because I personally identify as a worm

I don't use they / them because I'm singular. You can use any pronouns to be real honest, as long as not in a derogatory manner.

DMs are ok but I'm shy ^^

Please send asks. I want to know how that feels like <~< about what? idk

I reblog random stuff, I post about whatever I'm currently into or thinking about (lots of rant oof!!)

About the lots of rants— it's just me being depressed, if that bothers you, just ignore it..

★ English is not my first language..! (I'm bad at my native language too so es macht nichts)

★ Randomly appears and disappears

★ King of forgetting

★ Undiagnosed ADHD AHAHAHAHAHAHA

★ I love reading mangas (horror and action and whatever) but I'm forced to just read mangas because I have low data : (

┈┈➤ Currently reading (aka procrastinating on reading) fukushuu kyoushitsu, oyasumi punpun, fukushuu something (title's pretty long), etc (so many!)

★ I don't know anything. Seriously, I don't. If you start talking about some show, movie, actors, famous people, games, books, I won't know about it. I won't stop you from talking about them but be prepared to provide context!!

ׂ┈┈➤ Tag Masterlist HERE!

WAN WAN!🐶🐶

♥ SERIOUSED intro blog ♥

(don't talk about it it makes me feel sad)

In short:

I'm very poor and depressed And disabled so help. Help HERE just kidding HERE

I also do kofi commissions HERE but if you can't find any you like there then just dm me and we finna talk.

Will automatically report and block people who asks ME to DM them when they're the ones who want comms. You a faker.

This is me, Bichael.

[thefandommind]

Trying out a higher dose of my ADHD meds has nothing to do with the hour of which I'm writing this but anyways Josef's sword.

I don't think I've made a post about the Heart of War, but I have thoughts on it.

It's an anime sword. Berserk if we're getting technical. And the bit is it doesn't look like a sword. It looks like a fucking joke.

I've drawn it as such, and there are many fanarts featuring this.

Also in Spirit's War it's described as an "iron slab" so the width of the blade makes a lot of sense, especially if you know Rachel Aaron's anime background. Lot of the spirit series makes sense with the context of anime.

When I first read these books at the age of 11 I had not yet gotten into anime, so my interpretation of the Heart and what it looks like is slightly different.

What aids to this confusion is the Heart isn't described as "an iron slab" but instead as "a large iron bar". Bar and Slab is the difference here for me. My father is a construction worker, I knew what rebar looks like, and so child brain went with a cylindrical object.

Where is the edge on a cylinder I hear you ask, well eleven year old me wasn't an idiot, the book described the fucked up looking sword as a vaguely sharpened iron bar and you could barely tell where the edge was and I thought okay, crudely shaped edge, still round tho, it's hard to see.

Add on the "it can cut what it wants to cut" magic, and it can look nothing like a sword and still be a sword.

So the top is sort of how I saw it, with a cross section on the left. Darker blue is handle. Bar with edge. The other is the "slab".

In the first book they hide it in a javelin sheath, and the pole sword made sense to me then. More then the wide slab at least.

And I know, in the first book the Heart "protects his back from attacks from behind" but I wasn't expecting a wide shield of a sword, I always thought they were just horizontal swings to a huge heavy bar sitting more or less vertical, that's protection enough.

And for the "black pitted blade" description I've always pictured the one and only spirit Halloween sword.

This bad girl. I grew up playing with these, thwacking people. If I ever cosplay Josef I'll be taking one of these and hacking off the cross guard. Probably do it up a bit to make it little less plasticey, but that's the Heart of War to me.

Cus of course the Heart doesn't have a guard. Why does it need one, it's magic mountain sword. I don't feel like looking rn but I'm pretty sure Josef doesn't fight with guards? I don't think his short swords have them either.

I could be 100% lying about that, I've thought circles around what historical inspiration Josef takes from, lot of his character design makes me think Germanic, but sometimes it makes me think Greek with Osera specifically, but sometimes it's French, and ofc he could be a dozen different things by nature of how fantasy is created. But my family are sword nerds and so when I think of Josef and his sword choices I think of regional discrepancies.

That being said, as I love Josef and he is greatest swordsman, he is anime protagonist. His magic sword talks and breaks physics, and he's described as using "fencing positions", which is just normal writing decisions, swordfighting scenes can be really hard to describe and choreograph, but there's no way he could use the Heart like that.

And dual swords is a fantasy trope. One I dearly love as much as it's inaccurate. Like yeah it's not at all efficient to use two swords, but it looks cool and it's fun to give your protagonist ambidextary as it's hard to use both hands skillfully. Josef could definitely fight well with his left just as he does with his right.

The spirit series does anime magic sword fighting it's due justice, magic swords allow all sorts of options for character design.

Like Coriano had a rapier, that man was using fencing techniques, and in a fight against a broadsword like Josef's (let alone the Heart), the weight class is just too different. Swishy pokey is meant for swishy fighting, not three inch wide chop sword. BUT magic rapier, cut through big chop sword, so even match.

And that's fun, because Coriano definitely needs a fun swishy sword, that's obviously his aesthetic, and Josef obviously needs heavy sword.

Same with Sted and the League, Sted gets heavy fucking TOOTHED sword because he's a monster and he's anime over powered, and the League get fancy curved swords to fit their crafty but intimidating aesthetic. "Curved sword" could mean a lot of things depending on how creative you get, I've always imagined pirate swords, like a cutlass, but a lot of Asian and Middle Eastern swords are curved, so there's a lot to work with for interpretation there.

Also again, Sted's Iron Avalanche was TOOTHED

I hate it, I love it so much but I hate it it's disgusting. Anime as fuck, but also horrifying. The guy basically had a saw for a sword. It's so unnecessary and impractical and so Sted.

Side note, Coriano, Sted, and Alaric's blades were named. And their names fit within the usual spirit name aesthetic, but they also have translations?

Like Coriano's Dunea, River of White Snow.

Sted's Dunolg, the Iron Avalanche.

And Alaric's Dunelle, Last Sunlight.

They are either translations or titles. If they are translations, translations out of what? Spirit language? Does Durain mean Shaper Mountain? Or is the Shaper Mountain his title?

The Heart of War is noted as having many names but that's the one most people know it by, and the Dead Mountain is another name, and it refers to its brother as Durain. Like imagine the sword/mountain has a spirit name like everything else but we just don't get to know what it is because it uses so many titles.

Do other spirits get titles? Like, Mellinor has many titles, being a Great Spirit and all, but do smaller spirits get names and also titles?

The three blades I name here other then the Heart were made by Slorn, so like he made them and gave them their purpose and name, so is the shaping part part of the title process?

We could kinda assume that larger spirits and spirits that interact with wizards have names. We never get casual spirits who introduced themselves. They are always shaped spirits, wizard companions, or stars and great spirits.

I think not all spirits have proper names or titles.

Anyway the multiple sword types mean multiple sword techniques and I enjoy thinking about discrepancies.

And I think Giuseppe Monpress is a hobby fencer. His one comment about Fenzetti blades being "impossible to fence with" doesn't necessarily mean he himself is experienced with fencing, but the man enjoys fine things like wine and opera and theater, and is a master thief. I think he plays swishy pokey. I also think he taught Eli because a man should know how to defend himself, and while he's good enough to fake it, there's a reason he has his swordsman.

[venusmage]

FAQ Post!

I've gotten a good amount of repeat questions the past few years and thought I'd make an FAQ. No need to RB or anything, this is going to go in my pinned post!

I still always happily will take questions, this is just for folks who might want to just find the answer without going through the extra effort. These are mostly about art and TTRPGs :)

ART STUFF

Can I crosspost your art to other sites?

Yes, as long as credit is given to me in some way!

What brushes/programs/hardware do you use?

Almost all of my regularly used brushes come from either Retro Supply or True Grit Texture Supply! I'm not sponsored or affiliated, just really like the quality of their products. They have sales fairly frequently and I've never had any complaints. I also use quite a few products by Ittai Manero.

Right now I primarily work in Procreate on an iPad Pro. Procreate is my favorite art program and I'm quietly hoping they eventually make a desktop version.

I very recently also got an XPPen Deco 01 V2. Partially because there's some art programs on desktop I want to learn (Aseprite, Blender) or programs that have superior desktop versions as compared to mobile (ClipStudio). I'm also teaching some grade-schoolers digital art and wanted to have the same kind of tablet as them (I haven't used a screenless tablet for over half a decade). As of right now I'm very happy with it! For the price it's an easy recommendation.

I mainly use ClipStudio in this instance, and the brushes linked above both also support the program (aside from Manero). However there's a huge user-base that upload free assets constantly that makes ClipStudio so great. I especially like painting in it for some reason!

What's your opinion on AI art?

I don't like it, obviously, but I get how people who lack the context and education on why it's bad wouldn't get it. I also think that some other artists fearmonger a little too hard regarding it and it has the unintended effect of making the situation and it's nuances even harder to understand. I talked about it here.

Did you go to art school? Would you recommend it?

I did, I have a BFA in illustration and graduated from CCAD in 2018. Every art school is unique and my experience with art school and the benefit it gave me is VERY different from how I believe it may be for others. As of right now I think there's a lot of good cheaper online resources than private art education in general. I did have a wonderful time there though, and it's availability helped me eventually escape a domestic abuse situation - so my feelings are a bit complicated.

Do you have a dream art job?

I'd love to be a college-level art teacher. Funny I know, considering I just said art school isn't always worth it. I just deeply enjoy the craft and discussion surrounding art in general. I'm tempted to make art videos one day to scratch that itch.

What's your favorite/least favorite part of the drawing process?

I hate sitting down and getting the sketch started (hello ADHD...) And flatting. Linework/sketch cleanup and finishing details for color are where it's at for me.

What made you interested in art?

My grandfather was a painter, sculptor, and stained glass maker. He will always be one of my biggest inspirations. In terms of media, there's a ton - but I started internalizing art as a skill after seeing the Shivering Isles DLC concept art by Adam Adamowicz. I started appreciating how art can be weird and beautiful and whatever you want after reading Evan Dahm's Rice Boy (and the rest of his work). I also had a particularly beautiful book cover for A Wrinkle in Time by Leo and Diane Dillon when I was little and their art rewired my brain chemistry. At the time I said Adamowicz was my most impactful inspiration but on reflection I really do think it's the Dillons. I talked a little about it here.

(2023-24) Commissions haven't been updated in a while. Can I get some more information as to why?

I have a post here about it! If you're one of my clients, please feel free to reach out to me if you have any further issues. I apologize for the delay and am more than happy to work out something with you if you're unhappy with the wait. I'd advise messaging me here or on discord - the latter of which is linked in the post.

TTRPG/DND STUFF

What system is your DnD game running?

I'm running my game using a modified 5e ruleset. 5e happened to just be the first TTRPG system I learned and I also really enjoy Forgotten Realms as a setting - though I take extensive liberties with both. I'll probably be moving away from WoTC's products and the system after this campaign, though. I already change lore so much the setting has a lot of differences.

What materials do you use in your DnD game? Do you play online or in person?

As much as I'd adore to get to play IRL with my friends at some point, our game is currently online. For our current campaign I recently made the switch from Roll20 to Foundry VTT. If you're an online exclusive DM and have the money to buy the one time license, I would recommend it!

A list of what I use to run my current game:

Foundry VTT

Discord (A custom server for Voice Chatting/Private DMs/Memes and art sharing/Scheduling)

Epic Isometric (On Patreon. Digital isometric maps and tokens. Have been using them since at least 2020 if not earlier. Will be making tutorial videos soon!)

The Dungeon Sketcher (Also on Patreon. Also isometric maps and tokens. The artist frequents Epic Isometric's discord server where we all share custom assets we've made, too. His stuff blends in pretty seamlessly with EpicIso)

Vile Tiles by Gabriel Pickard (Found on the Roll20 marketplace, but you can use the assets in any VTT. For theater of the mind and RP backgrounds)

Artstation (Our game is not streamed, so I tend to use backgrounds I source from concept artists for RP backgrounds. If you stream a game, obviously always ask the creators of your assets if you can use them.)

Procreate/An art program (I draw the PC/NPC portraits for our game myself)

Milanote/Any note-taking method (Milanote is just what I use to plan the game, since I already use it for other hobbies and commissions as well.)

Do you stream your game? Is there someplace I can find out more about it? Are you looking for players?

I am not looking for players! Our game is also not recorded or streamed - mostly because I'd get some serious DM stage-fright. I also like it being a relaxing experience for myself and my friends where we're performing for ourselves, instead of with the pressure of a potential audience.

However, I do have a toyhou.se world where information on the game is available - including session recaps! If I ever get the time I also want to draw fun comics and little animations of what happens because my friends are very inspiring to me and DMing has quickly become a favorite hobby.

You can also search the words "Seven Asunder" on this blog and you'll find relevant posts here.

Can I use your art/assets/ideas in my own game?

I can't really stop you. If it's not recorded, streamed or monetized and you're not saying you created anything I made yourself, I legitimately don't care! This even includes using character art I've made. I just would like to politely request you don't post any of it publicly to avoid confusion and to respect my players - many of the NPCs in my games are also characters they create and I cannot give permission for them (obviously). It also would kind of suck to see one of my own beloved characters supposedly "belonging" to someone else.

Essentially, I understand taking inspiration and having "placeholder" images/artwork for characters in a game. Not all of us have time or resources to have custom art! Just don't take one of my or my players' OC's designs and start saying they're yours publicly , pretty please :)

Once commissions are over and I find the spare time, I intend to release free-to-use (personally and for streaming) art packs for folks' games. I also highly recommend the patreons I linked above.

[morb-untamed]

Writer Interview Tag

I was tagged by @tavyliasin a pretty long time ago to do this, but I figured I'd finally get to it. Thank you so much for tagging me Lia, I'll try to answer these questions to the best of my abilities! Your interview was as delightful as it was insighting to read. I tag @miradelletarot and @likethelightfromorionabove. But no pressure to fill this at all! This text contains some descriptions of mental illness, and some pretty personal stuff. I don't get into the nitty-gritty of these subjects, but I still wanted to give a heads-up.

When did you start writing?

I cannot really put an exact date to when I started to write to be exact - as I have been imagining and writing stories for as long as I can remember. I know when I was a little child I was writing down stories even though I could barely make an interesting string of words. Unsurprisingly enough, they were about horror and fantastical creatures. So not much has changed in that regard.

Although writing has never been my #1 passion, that goes to drawing. But it has been a constant in my entire life with intervals. Before I actively started writing fanfiction I hadn't written anything creatively for over 6 years I believe! Before that I always tried to create original stories with original characters.

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

This is a hard question to answer, as I have such a hard time reading in comparison to writing. I have ADHD, and either have to struggle to even attempt to finish a page in a book, or read a 500 page novel in one go. There's no in between! Although I have noticed I like to read the same themes and genres as I write about, even if it is to learn about said themes and genres and how to write them. I do have a whole collection of books, but they're mostly about art, art history, plants, nature, flowers, and some comics. Other than that I really like to get more into Warhammer 40k novels, mostly because I really like dark fantasy/sci-fi. I also really want to read more fantasy erotica books, horror (gore, paranormal, and anything that sends chills down my spine), and anything about real life mysteries!

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

Sometimes I say that the things I want to write about are far above my actual writing skills. This rings true for this question as well - as many of my writing friends know, English isn't my native language even though that's the language I write my stories in. I feel like I am far better at conveying my thoughts and emotions into writing in the English language rather than Dutch (and I think it's kinda cringy to write fanfiction in my native tongue to be honest). But this does mean my vocabulary can be lacking any diverse words at times, and grammar can be confusing at times. Thankfully I have a space where people want to help me out, and that thesaurus.com is free.

With that being said, I don't really aim to emulate any other writers. I have come across some amazing writers who post on AO3 who inspire me, but for now I'd like to hone my writing skills and see where my style takes me.

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

I have my own 'work' room in my home I used to write from, but ever since busting my knee even further last May I have found myself to be far more comfortable on the couch so I can keep my leg straight. It also happens to be the calmest place during the times I tend to write the most - which ranges from 8 pm to the early morning hours. But for my own sake I try to not keep it as late as I used to the past few months. Mainly because I don't want to mess up my biological clock too much while I'm stuck at home healing from surgery as of right now.

What's your most effective way to muster up a muse?

It really depends on my mood, what's happening in my personal life, and how inspired I feel at the same time. I always try to make myself as comfortable as I can, and tend to my needs first; am I too hot? Too cold? Do I have coffee, am I hydrated enough, and aren't there too many distractions around me? Sometimes, when I really want to write but feel like I can't I sometimes take my ADHD medication which does the trick. But I only take it if I am sure I feel good both mentally and physically as it can have averse effects if I don't.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

Trauma, angst, inner conflict, and even more trauma! Trauma comes in many forms, expressions, and manifestations. And I am not surprised at all I am writing about it. I am surprised about how much catharsis I experience from writing it, and how often I ended up writing about these themes. You might not be shocked to read that I suffer from C-PTSD and anxiety with some depression on the side. I have dealt with mental illness and traumatic events for most of my life, and it feels like I have some form of control and acceptance if I write about them in my own writing, especially in my fanfiction. With that being said, I have never really written my own specific traumatic events into my writing as that's a bit too much. But they often fall in the same themes, like SA, physical and emotional abuse from family, witnessing horrible events, self-destruction, manipulation, and having to make awful decisions in order to protect yourself. I relate heavily to them, and in some ways it gives me some closure.

What is your reason for writing?

The biggest reason is that I felt this growing need and compulsion to write something specifically I wanted to read about. I have always written for myself, and will continue to do so. This rings especially true for fanfiction, which is also a reclamation for my own wants and needs. I have always wanted to write fanfiction, but for the longest time it was labeled as cringe and stupid in the circles I found myself in. I was so shy and embarrassed of what I wanted to write (and draw) about, so I have never truly been active in a fandom. I was a lurker at most, too scared to show where my imagination and creativity takes me about certain characters - let alone about my own OC's. But thankfully I grew far more comfortable in that ever since stepping foot in the BG3 community, where your OC is literally a part of the story if you want them to be! I remember @tavyliasin and some others literally had to beg me to link them to Weeping Willow as I was so scared of judgement even though I very well know they wouldn't ever make fun of me. Ever since then I have become what one might describe as unhinged in a sense. I have reclaimed being cringe, and happily yap about my oc's, canon characters, in any smutty, angsty and dumb scenario I can come up with. I am not hurting anyone, and I am having fun. And that's what's most important.

But I do admit I still sometimes struggle with the embarrassment of writing fanfiction. I still sometimes get laughed at by friends outside of the internet when I tell them about it, along with being made fun of because of it. But I try to stand my ground, always saying that they can laugh what they want, and rather make them feel weird for making fun of me having fun. It is still a process, but it is a part of reclaiming my love for myself and thus claiming space for myself.

Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?

Honestly? My work doesn't get that much attention at all, so when it does I am beyond elated and often screenshot and save any comments I get on AO3, discord, or tumblr to look back on. But I especially love any comments from readers who are as unhinged about my writing as I am - give me all the caps lock and keysmashing!!

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

Like I said before, I don't have a lot of readers. But I do hope that those who do actively read my work think "Wow, this person really cares about the characters they write about.". I want them to remember me by my passion, weather that's from a heartbreaking scenario, an insanely detailed smut chapter, or something that sparks fire of anger within them as they read about it. That despite my shortcomings in language and ability to describe what I see in my head, they see the love and effort I put into it.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Like I mentioned in the previous question, I truly believe my passion for wanting to put the images I have floating in my head into words to share it with others is what I think is my greatest strength. I never really try to leave anything for the imagination. Aside from that, I think my other strength is that I try no matter my shortcomings. I have heard before that I am very much persevering when it comes to my goals.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely for yourself, or a mix of both?

While I always try to keep in mind what a potential reader might like to read, I usually stick to what I want to read about. As I mentioned before, I started writing again for me, and to reclaim it as a form of self-love.

How do you feel about your own writing?

Honestly? I often feel like I suck at writing, no matter the love I put into it. Even though I know I have improved massively (sometimes I reread the very first chapter of Weeping Willow to see how far I've come), I never feel good enough. I am aware that that's because I'm insanely critical of myself to a torturous degree - something I have to overcome as well. I often feel like I "might as well not do it if I am not the best at something" knowing very well I am never going to be the best at anything as that's not how the world works. But that takes me back that I'm doing this for myself, not for a prestigious title, an award, or recognition from those at the top in this field of writing. Although I do admit I love any validation I get. But reminding myself that I'm doing this for myself, that there is no repercussions if I quit except for regret and that same need to realise my stories into actualisation that made me write in the first place. So I have to keep going, so I won't drive myself crazy with the sense of unfulfilment.

Thank you so much for reading if you've come this far, I feel like these questions were very much needed to remind myself why I'm writing and received motivation to get over any blockades I have as of now. So sad I'm too tired to write right now though :')

[youdontlookautistic]

Inspirational/motivational/religious speakers and being autistic:

This can apply in any sort of religious or political context, I'm currently exploring it from my personal experience angle because I am so far behind on the human train 😭(Strap in cos I don't think this is going to be very motivational)

I wanted to be a speaker for about 30 years before I finally woke up. Growing up in Law of Attraction made me see how motivational speakers were so.... invigorating and alive. They pulsated with so much energy it filled the room and everyone rode the wave (gotta ride that walrus amirite).

Context: I grew up in LoA. This stuff was taught to me from age 4. I believed nothing else.

I wanted to be that person. I felt like I had energy and words and lessons to teach others. Ngl. Still want to be that person.

But there was always that one thing that stopped me. That one little tiny thing that I just couldn't get over in order for me to commit and go. That liiiittle niggling thing at the back of my brain that was

cognitive distortion.

Motivational speakers and their lessons as they grow:

If you're someone whose entire brand is to transform others, the you must do as I say and as I do. You must be the example of your teaching.

Look at Tony Robbins. He has been on this pedestal of glory as the perfect example of how to overcome your challenges and LIVE.

That Oprah gif? My mum did that (like 15 years ago). She went to Tony Robbins, and called me randomly and in happy tears to tell me she loved me, and then walked over hot coals. For real. What a legend.

But Tony Robbins is just a dude. A tall, deep voiced dude who knows how to use his body and voice in a way to convey an idea that gets others to take action. This is a separate post but the cult vibes and techniques of motivational speakers are El Primo.

The catch:

What happens when motivational/life speakers realise they're autistic?

Example: the last author/speaker I really connected with was Mel Robbins.

I read her book 3 years ago and there were answers in it I'd been struggling with for my life. Things around the action and motivation cycle, things like routines and countdowns. She spoke to me. Those techniques still work today.

Well since then Mel has found out she's got ADHD.

I've also found out I've got AuDHD

There's something about the motivational speaking circuit that says neurodivergent to me. Sorta like Silicone Valley, there are certain areas/topics/cultures that naturally attract our kind. It may seem odd, motivational speaking, especially if your idea of an autistic person is someone who doesn't communicate well or is too shy or gets overwhelmed by all that.

No no no, not for me. Speaking is different. Speaking means:

I am in front, and separate to, the crowd

They are specifically here to see me and listen to what I have to say and it's about my special interest so really you're gonna have to drag me away.

Because I love helping people and have a passion for teaching, all that + my excited adrenalin overcomes any hesitancy. I have no issues standing in front of a crowd/group of people, I've done many talks and workshops in my past. I feel like I'm at my best then.

If the lights are bright enough I can't see shit, so I could feel like I'm in a room alone.

I can leave the stage when I'm done and essentially disappear.

With the right set up it can feel like a wonderfully safe and incredibly validating place to be.

A good motivational speaker:

On top of that this is sorta what's required to be an effective and successful motivational speaker in today's day and age (in my humble Tumblr opinion):

A very clear business head to be able to do both business and speaking. Along with marketing, promotions, tours, live streams, admin, etc.

Ability to remain emotionally and mentally detached from your audience and the media, keeping the bigger picture in mind, so that you don't get influenced by them but remain true to your own path. All while interacting with them one on one all the time.

A deep understanding of reading human behaviour, especially on a day to day basis where motivational speaking topics often lie

A constant need to question and probe the reasons why we do what we do. A need to FIND ANSWERS AND FIX THE PUZZLE OF HUMANS.

Belief in what you promote.

Be your authentic self.

That #5 might be a killer cos I believed 150% in what Law of Attraction was. I wanted to be out there and help people and transform their lives.

So what happens when #5 changes for the speaker? What happens to a speaker when they look back at all they've said and done and promoted and realised it was for a specific, niche crowd and not the masses? That some of their lessons weren't helpful and possibly actually quite damaging and hurtful?

I'm really interested because these people are in a role that they themselves have promoted as being self aware, accepting growth, being your authentic self.

Thus the cognitive distortion. I couldn't commit to being a motivational speaker when I didn't ever truly feel like I could live my own truth. Be my authentic self. On stage it's 100% masking. It's still me but I'm numbing a lot of myself so that only certain portions are visible.

How many public people of interest, across history, have had that sort of reflection and then gone on to rectify or change their approach vs doubling down, ignoring the damage behind them, and pretending nothing changed? I'd really like to know this.

There are many authors and 'gurus' I've reflected back on that I loved, and wondered if I connected with them because on some lower level we were both neurodivergent.

Wayne Dyer (RIP), I loved Wayne Dyer. He spent his life in pursuit of spiritual and emotional freedom and I still massively respect him for that. However he came at it from a 'manifesting' angle, since he was LoA, and he passed away from cancer. The guy suffered and died from cancer and all I can think is 'Did he blame himself for that? Did he tell himself that he manifested that cancer because of something he couldn't overcome in himself?'

It's so painful to think those thoughts of someone you so admired. Because what if he was autistic? What if he realised that this desperate need to find answers was actually a scientific, realistic suffering that he never explored? What if he wasn't autistic but something else just as valid?

Not saying Wayne Dyer was autistic. Just using him as an example because of how much he affected me (positively).

History is a pattern of religion/spirituality until it's science.

What happens to the people who are in the positions of power, when the foundations of what they understood now becomes concrete and something totally different?

I want to knoooow

[nailastorm]

There goes my first pinned post!

So I got inspired by @noellecatowo and decided to make a pinned post myself!

Hello there! I'm Naila, but you can call me Nai. I use she/her pronouns.

✨ About Me ✨

🎸 I play guitar, or at least I'm getting back into the habit.

📚 I love reading, especially fantasy and sci-fi, feel free to leave recommendations! :3

✍️ I like writing short stories, with aspirations to pen a novel or novella someday.

🏀 I play basketball and constantly overestimate how far I can walk. Well, more than overestimate, I just tend to think I can walk that far. The farthest I've walked, within my city, is 12.3 km. I also enjoy hiking, though my schedule has limited those outings.

🎲 I enjoy almost every tabletop game, especially those with RPG elements.

🕹️ I play Elder Scrolls Online, or at least I used to when I could spend hours behind a console, and Wild Rift in my free time.

🐍 I like to automate the boring stuff with Python, wink wink, great book, btw, and yeah, it really did help me automate some boring stuff indeed.

💡 A Few More Things

🧠 Diagnosed with ADHD.

🎓 Master’s student (living off a scholarship that barely covers rent).

🌈 Trans & proud!

📖 Favorite Books

📖 The Kingkiller Chronicle (I hope we get the third book soon...)

📖 Gideon the Ninth

I have a lot more books I love, but for some reason, only those came to mind.

💬 Feel free to ask me things! Just don’t ask me for money, I can barely afford my own rent TwT

[tigerlilynoh]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love ❤

Thank you @ambersock for the nudge/inspiration to reflect on things I'm really proud of.

Job & Family This one is definitely top of my list because it’s dear to my heart in so many ways.  I spent 26 months writing this 600k beast.  It has several of my favorite original characters and fight scenes.  I love that act one starts pretty straightforward, then it jumps the rails with the second act (and I love the inherent trust of any reader who is willing to hang on).  The story gave me so much room to world build across multiple planes and dive into the politics and culture of Hell in particular. It’s simply the sandbox I could play in forever.

Beyond the End, There is a Season I often describe this fic as “Job & Family was several seasons of a tv show.  Beyond the End is a movie.”  My goal with the fic was to really dig into pacing and tension to play with suspense.  The main inspiration were 28 Days Later and A Quiet Place— with the added priority of a really mess interpersonal dynamic (post-canonical-betrayal Sam and Ruby).  It’s like 100k with the first 80% being almost entirely just Sam and Ruby having to work together.  Both in that character/relationship study and in individual moments, it lingers in a way I love.  I’m so proud of how it turned out.

Time for a Lesson My version of a dark fic.  It was for a dark fic bang and part of my challenged to myself was not relying on sexual violence to do the heavy lifting of danger.  I wanted to make the most unnerving, menacing Demon!Dean I could, one that would inevitably flay the canonical one.  Sam’s character arc in this one is something I’m very pleased with.  And I delight in this dark fic’s inspiration being Treason by the Book (a historical account of a failed incitement to treason, and specifically the poor bastard who got a target on his back because someone tried to incite him).

Cybernatural I don’t blame anyone for not giving this one a chance; it’s an odd one, but it has a lot of things that I’m so happy with.  The inspiration was, “If I could write a spn spinoff, what would the first season look like?”  This was my attempt at noir (it’s actually neo noir because it’s set in the future with some minor sci-fi tech), a genre that I actually didn't really like prior to writing this, but I studied it as part of the challenge to myself and grew to really appreciate its style.  It was also my attempt at writing an old version of Sam, particularly one struggling with passing the torch and his own insecurities.  I dig its case fic/noir vibe, and I cackled wildly at making readers read through a sex scene involving elderly people… because I often think of myself as your antagonist, here to put you where you never thought you’d be.

The Uncomfortable Adventures of Sam in Law School (WIP) Despite the fact that it is incomplete, this is another instance of world building that I’m so deeply proud of.  Stanford-era Sam getting caught up in the magic subculture of the San Francisco Bay Area.  Magical realism, drugs, lots of sex, Sam having anxiety and major illness, a chapter that delves into hunter culture and Sam’s relationship with his dad and Dean— that chapter is one of my favorite things I’ve ever written. It's a piece that's so special to me that what holds me back most from completing it is fear of letting it down, but I hold out hope that with time and renewed practice (and maybe a couple vacations or ADHD medication to reboot me) I'll grow braver. Time will tell.

[actuallylorelaigilmore]

Hi 👋

I’ve just finished a rewatch of GG, and I’m really in the mood for a Lorelai/Luke baby-fic.

Do you have any recommendations?

Hi friend!!!! I'm sorry it took me so long to reply to this, but I did *research* in preparation for it. And honestly, I am the worst person to ask about this because my ability to focus well enough to read has completely degraded over time--probably due partly to tech-addled distractiveness (it's genuinely alarming how much time I spend on my laptop), but mostly due to the Adderall shortage and how poorly my replacement ADHD meds fill in that gap. So in the last few years, I've almost entirely stopped reading, especially compared to the bookworm child and book hoarding adult I used to be.

I subscribe to amazing authors on AO3, but since I don't feel up to reading, I have a system: whenever I get notifications of their new work in my email, I open the new stories and bookmark them. I therefore have a giant collection at this point on AO3, a 'tbr' pile of fanfic not dissimilar from my endless watchlist or my nearly 8k onetab hoard that needs dealing with. Which will be nice for me someday when I actually explore them, but isn't at all helpful for reccing needs.

The second reason I'm not your best bet for this specific query is that while I have definitely read GG fic, I rarely read baby-fic of any kind. I don't avoid it, but I also don't seek it out...so when you asked, I couldn't recall if I had ever read a Luke/Lorelai one. (Comparatively, I come across them--and have even occasionally written them--for other ships more often, like Josh/Donna.)

So, since my memory isn't that great, but the internet's memory can be very helpful that way, I headed to my AO3 history. I went through fifty-four pages of my entire reading history for you, just to be absolutely sure I wouldn't miss anything. (And while I have read fic that people posted elsewhere, it happens very very rarely, so my AO3 history is a better indicator.)

Therefore, based on my thorough research, I can say that unhelpfully I don't have a single L/L baby-fic to recommend, because I've never read any! Let alone decided on some favorites. So I'm hoping this will inspire anybody who reads this to add *their* recs if they have them, in comments or reblogs or even by sending them to me if that's easier. (Anons go crazy, my submissions are open too.) I hope you find some good ones to read after all. :)

[reikomizuao3]

I prefer multichapter fics because I read too damn fast, lol

both?

My muse and i scream at each other for hours until a chapter gets written. sometimes hours turns into months

mostly in music but sometimes reading other books/fics

I would appreciate more constructive criticism, I don't get very much of it

I am my own beta and it is an extremely important process to me

I prefer third-person narration so that's how all my stories are written

The climax is the best part

I try to comment on every story I read but sometimes I genuinely can't think of anything to say

Nothing came up!

Mama Bear by ArcticVulpix; She's Mine Then by ArcticVulpix; The Liberating Power of Radical Forgiveness by green_carnation_product

Not getting feedback is EXTREMELY UNMOTIVATING. I want to know why people read my stories, I want to know what my readers like and don't like.

writing an idea as soon as it pops up in my head. I have ADHD and am likely to forget the idea within literal seconds

I put myself into the shoes of the characters, I often end up crying

I uh.....have to get off to write smut, and I'm not very good at it

Right now I'm just trying to finish the fics I currently have posted

I like nature, so I tend to go for long walks when I have the opportunity. Mostly just try to get through life until the inspiration strikes again

It depends on the story. most of the time, I'll write a plot summary before the title

"Bad Grandparent Alma Madrigal" and "Alma Madrigal Bashing" kinda go hand in hand together

I noticed that I use Alma from Encanto to vent my anger and trauma from my mother a LOT

I WOULD LOVE TO!! Where oh where are you dear co-author?!?

Incest, pedophilia, rape. Pretty much my worst triggers.

Don't give up, and don't be afraid. There's someone out there who will LOVE your work

I don't think I've ever actually gotten bad writing advice

Bad Miracle. It's an Encanto horror AU, horror is my favorite genre and it's my first time writing a horror story.

Tres Oruguitas. It's my longest fic and I'm currently struggling to finish the final chapter

The actual writing process, lol

Sometimes a sentence, sometimes 3000 words

Refer back to answer 3

NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO SEE MY ROUGH DRAFTS BUT ME

Depends on the story

TheCuriousCalico (RIP), ArcticVulpix, GamerBearMira

I'm currently working on three different novels

Published and living comfortably

Sometimes people are just fucking evil. Not every villain needs a tragic backstory

Very badly

When it feels right

Sounds fun

I REFUSE

@gamerbearmira has done amazing fanart from my fic Whatever it Takes which really warmed my heart!

I'm ALWAYS rereading fics!

Would You Rather? - With Your Lovely Host, Casita! Yes I would recommend

I don't take joy in it, but it's great for venting

Refer back to answer 6

BOTH!!! MUAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

driven by trauma

it depends, lol

Refer back to answer 6

Block and delete

Tres Orguitas at 87,110 words

Total word count: 170,234

I don't always respond to comments, I'm a low energy potato

50/50 split

finally posting a chapter

I just love Mirabel Madrigal so much, she's my little cinnamon roll

I like using big words, call me pretentious

I edit as I write

Brainstorming

I tell everyone, I'm not ashamed

I was a little starstruck, lol. don't have to be a celebrity to get that out of me XD

cause i like it

I have a love/hate relationship with cliffhangers

When a woman's vagina is referred to as "her sex", I click off IMMEDIATELY

lesbians written correctly

I can't wait to finally write the last chapter of Tres Oruguitas

When people pressure me to update, I remind them that I'm a human being and you cannot force me to write faster. Also I WORK FULL TIME, I barely have time to write fanfic!

I love a good prompt. A couple of my stories are inspired continuations of other fics

listen to music, watch tv, take long walks, read books

I'm not embarrassed of any of my current works, though I do think this fic is the worst: The Accident: Alternate Ending (note: If you've never read 'The Accident' by Diane Hoh, you will not understand the context)

ENTHUSIASTIC AS FAWK

I have several notebooks dedicated to each fic and I will fine comb them before updating my stories (but my ADHD will still scramble things up a bit, lol)

most of the time i write the ending first only for the plot to end up completely different

My love of tormenting the Madrigal family (Encanto has become my vent fic fandom XD)

Does it have the "Alma Madrigal bashing" tag? Do the Madrigals suffer before getting a happy ending?

Currently, this last chapter of Tres Oruguitas is KICKING MAH ASSSSSSS

In Tres Oruguitas, Alma was going to have a brief reunion with the family at Antonio's request, but would have been banished/killed by the miracle

In Tres Oruguitas, Bruno and Alejandro cuddling in the library for the first time. Allow me to sample you a snippet:

Deciding he needed more cuddles by virtue of being adorable, Alejandro lifted Bruno up with ease, causing him to yelp loudly as the floor was suddenly no longer beneath him. Alejandro chuckled, cradling the startled man close to his chest as he settled them down on the couch. Bruno clung to him, face redder than the tomatoes in the garden, and only loosened his grip when he was sure he wasn’t going to fall.

“I-uh—heh. You startled me. Maybe a little warning next time?” Bruno hid his face in the large man’s chest, wondering how they’d gone from discussing books to cuddling on the couch.

“That’s fair. I couldn’t help myself, you’re just so cute, and I wanted to cuddle you forever.” He gave Bruno a gentle squeeze, running a hand through his curls.

“U-um, that’s—wow, you think I’m cute?”

“Yeah, you’re my adorable ratoncito.”

Bruno’s face may as well have been glowing at this point, and he let out an embarrassed squeak. Alejandro cooed at him, giving him another gentle squeeze.

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[milkyetoile]

why are there not enough fics about Lapin Cadbury? preferably Theopin, but honestly, I love platonic shit too. do I need to start trying to write for this fandom??? 🤔🤔🤔

jk I still have fics and podfics on my growing to-do list. and I still need to actually work lmao if only I can earn from just doing fandom stuff 🤣

anyway, one of my zine deadlines is coming up. and my ADHD brain, instead of letting me just finish the fic I'm already 70% done with, is convincing me to write a whole new fic with a crack idea inspired by friends from one of the servers I'm in. w h y ??

also, thanks to something work-related, I picked back up a Howl's Moving Castle fic I started more than ten years ago. and now I want to re-read the book since I set it in bookverse. but like?? I haven't thought of how to continue this for more than a decade and now?? I have the part I put up on my LiveJournal in my AO3 drafts now, waiting to be edited as chapter 1.

plus, there's this rather long Merlin fic I originally recorded months ago. I thought I just need to edit it then post...but now I want to just scrap my original recording and re-record it....

I was gonna ask why my brain's so all over the place lately, then I remembered, my ADHD meds is out of stock again on top of my inconsistent work sched lmaoooooo

eh whatever. I'll think about all of these again tomorrow 🙃