#altruist-works
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th3w1ltedpe0ny · 1 year ago
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◇Meal time◇
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Pairing: Alastor x Fem!Reader
Part two of: Dry humping
Tags: More boring plot between, MDNI, smut, under the table, Husk gets traumatized, semi public, oral (M receiving)
Summary: After your incident in the kitchen, it seems the overlord just didn't have enough of you. So under the table in the dining hall of the new hotel you kept him warm from beneath the table until he sees it fit to take things to the next level.
A/N: I wasn't expecting to make this, but wooah- The last one got so much attention, and I honestly am honored you’d want more from me.
Word count: 1.3k
Request: Yes/No (By: @notalwaysa and my other ducklings~)
Part three at: Satisfaction
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The grip Alastor held on the silver spoon within his clawed fingers tightened enough to bend it in half as his smile tightened. The soft caress he felt on his inner thighs made it happen, your dainty fingers slipped up it to the zipper of his red pants, pulling slowly as Charlie gushed about how much she was enjoying the dinner you'd planned for them all, the flavors all mixing in oddly fond way she couldn't place, she gave a sigh as she took another large bite which earned laughs and giggles from the girls. The wet patch on the crotch of his clothing from your moments just prior remained, his hips lifting ever so slightly to push himself a tad bit towards your grasp made you rather aware of how much he was urging you on, coaxing with mere movements for you to unsheath his steadily aching heat. Your lips drew a flat line when Vaggie inquired on your whereabouts, your hand gradually massaging the easing boner that was reforming in Al's lap. You managed to shuffle even closer until your head was right against the table cloth, breath fanning the fabric as your motions became slowly lighter, a teasing pinpoint from just enough to make his radio static hiss almost enough to catch attention of anyone else. “Yeah, she made this stuff for us, and she ain't even here to see us enjoy it!!” Angel dramatically groaned across from Husk, who was sitting beside Al, whose eyes were flickering around, and ears were on guard. “Uhh- Well..- Hey! Maybe she got tired and went to bed. It must've been exhausting to make this for us, especially when she didn't have to at all, by any means!” Charlie defended with a nervous smile, head looking around as well, “Don't you think so, Al?”
The mention of him made his attention turn from you to the princess, his tight smile easing slightly as he gave a laugh and gently slurped on the Gumbo from his special bowl, his free hand snaking down to place it above your head so he could stroke your hair in an unexpectedly soothing manner, “I believe wholeheartedly that she's here in spirit,” He gave a hum, static prickling the volume to a more unreasonable amount then usual, “Absolutely enthralled that were enjoying such a wonderful meal together.” He nearly strained as Charlie gave a dramatic coo, sparkles practically floating around her as she spoke about how proud she was that he was getting along with you so well. Oh boy, if only she knew just how well.. Suddenly your hair was gripped tightly and you were pulled flush against his crotch, cheek getting rubbed lightly against the lukewarm frabric in a concerningly soft way contrast to the grip you felt on yourself. It was a signal, one you had no problem understanding and acting on as your hand finally pulled his reharddened sticky length from its confines and gave a damp kiss to its base before a long teasing lick all the way up to its slit, burning the lovely sight of it jumping in your hand into your memory. He must've never touched himself, let alone let others, how perfect for you..
*SLAM*
The sudden sound came from the Overlord above, hand hitting the underside of the table after letting go of your hair, supposedly he hadn't expected such an action just yet. You had that to your advantage, giving him a few more soft barely-there licks up to his tip before placing both your lips against the side of his shaft and slowly making firm stroking movements up and down with your hand, lips working what you couldn't fit around your petite fingers. He made a grunt as he manifested a napkin and brought it up from his lap as if that's what he had been grabbing all along, “You okay?” Intruded Husk, his brow raising skeptically as his gaze began to travel down to the legs of the deer demons chair, where he could just barely see a pair bare skinned knees shifting slightly beneath them, he had to blink, looking back at his owner. “Peachy, old pal. Why do you ask?” Alastors nonchalant response urked the barcat, voice rumbling as he gave a, “Er, no reason.. Forget it.” Due to the subtle change in the way his deer had smiled, it's was sharper, strained with an expression that traveled to the dials in his eyes that spoke millions of undeniable threats. He couldn't say anything.
The meal continued with banter, Alastors claws now digging into the underside of the wooden table, eye twitching from your affection from below causing the pre-cum to form at his tip, shaft pulsing lightly as your tongue now played across his skin more confidently. He sighed quietly, ears flicking backwards for but a moment before he heard an annoyed, “Fuck-” From his side, seeing as Husk had dropped his spoon somehow. You took him into your mouth, a sharp breath from above being your cue to keep going until you had about half of him inside, eyes closing momentarily, your mind completely void of everything else around you as you gave a small noise against his hardness as it pushed past your uvual. You hadn't noticed the hand that was searching for the glinting silver below the tablecloth, or how it had brushed over your leg just enough to rise a small swallowed whimper from you, a head and body quickly found its way underneath the table only to jolt to a furry stop at the sight of you in such a not only lewd but shamless position. As your eyes opened, it took you a moment before you caught a glimpse of the bartender beside you gawking in sheer disbelief.
You were such a polite thing, never once had he thought...
But when you did, you stopped completely in your tracks to whip your panting head over to him, tempted to explain yourself, but stopping in the process as it would've alerted everyone. Alastors hand turning you back and against his cock again made you rethink and bat your eyes in thought before you ultimately gave Husk one final glance before setting back to work. The white claws of the former overlord quickly swiped the spoon from the ground before he went to stand up, hitting his head hard on the table which caused everyone to stop talking and laugh a bit as he came back up with a red furry face without his hat. Nothing was said about you, but the hand that was still on your head probably wouldn't have stopped pushing you down either way. The sporadic movements made your vision spotty, throat quickly becoming sore from the painful angle in which he was aiming you at as you almoat silently gagged on him, throat contracting enough for him to shove you down all the way. Almost silently.. Sadly, there had been just enough noise for Angel to hear, and his head perked up, “Am I going crazy or did I hear somethin’?” He said aloud, head on a swivel before Vaggie gave a groan and her hand pinched the bridge of her nose, “No, there's no-” You couldn't hold the soft cough that left you as you ripped yourself back, not having expected the man to give your throat a thick load that dribbled right down your chin onto your chest. “Okay, yeah, I heard that-” The fallen angel added just as Alastor placed his napkin next to his glass of wine, “Well, I must say I did enjoy our little family meal. But I have many things to do this evening, I do hope you discover whatever that odd noise truly was!” With Alastors words being spoken quickly and methodically he sunk into his shadows while grabbing both his cane and the glass of red liquid casually, you coming along with him just as quickly as Charlie bid him goodbye.
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zahri-melitor · 1 year ago
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Hmmmm. Having so many more thoughts about "Damian's stories are about what Batman can do for Robin, while Tim's stories are about what Robin can do for Batman" as a concept.
And look this is partly me simplifying things way way down. Because ofc there are stories for both of them in the other direction, and I can name a bunch of them off the top of my head. But I'm looking at overarching themes.
Because!!! I think part of the divide in whether people feel particularly close to Damian's stories or particularly close to Tim's comes down to their identification over which fantasy and story they want to overlay the concept of Batman and Robin with. Do they want a fantasy about the strength and change a child can bring even to the adults around them? Do they want a fantasy about how a child can grow and be forgiven by adults for everything, even the dark parts of themself they hate?
"Can I fix others" vs "can others fix me" are both deep concepts people identify with, whether or not either impulse is a healthy one.
For instance. I will fully tell you that part of my problem with Dick and Damian as Batman & Robin, apart from the amount of it being written by Morrison, is that in the stories I have read, I see very few that give me a satisfying answer to 'what benefit is Dick getting out of this relationship', and as someone who helped coparent her own much younger sibling to the point my mother rewrote her will during that period to request that I got custody of my brother, not my father, should anything happen, reading a narrative where I'm supposed to celebrate Dick's sacrifices in taking on Damian is one where I want this situation to be rewarding for DICK. Because I know the suckitude of the situation where everyone is telling you how noble you are for making this sacrifice, and I know the joys you find in it, but by god is it hard and it is work that you can find yourself resenting and it is something where I see myself in Dick and I want a fantasy telling me that this was all worth it and the narrative is entirely uninterested in giving that to me.
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korizzybee · 1 year ago
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Tired of yall drawing human Alastor with pale skin and no curls, making him a white man like he ain’t canonly HALF BLACK if you not gon give him curls at least give the man his melanin 🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️
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kyouka-supremacy · 1 month ago
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honestly i dont get dazai. how you gonna find a precious kid like akutagawa and treat him like garbage.
IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME WHO FOUND HIM
That said, they answer the very important question of: what would happen if you brought the most unstable 16 y/o and the most unstable 14 y/o together? (Disaster)
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remiwritesstuffsometimes · 6 months ago
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Solarballs AU, where Earth lost faith in his Earthlings, but Luna still loves them...
How did Luna + Titan react to Earth first saying to Titan that 'moons can't have life' and 'wanting to have life is a stupid dream'?
How would Titan + Ganymede + Europa react during Earth's speech, when they learn that Earth HATES his lifeforms, but keeps them around for Luna's happiness?
How would they react to realizing that Earth WASN'T truely being anti-moon, Earth doesn't want Titan to suffer like he is (although Earth was still rude about it)...
Would Ganymede + Europa still try to encourage the attack? OoO;
1) They react pretty much the same way as in canon, because neither of them would know about Earth’s struggles at this point. Luna may be a bit suspicious because of the “stupid dream” part, as Earth previously always dreamed of having life, but he just chalks it up to Earth’s insecurity.
2) Titan’s main issue with Saturn was that, despite definitely being treated better than all the other moons, he’s seen more as an object than a person, on top of the fact that he only seems to care about Titan. Realizing that Earth loves Luna more than what Titan believed to be his "prized possession" (his Earthlings) would resonate with him. Additionally, learning that Earth actively dislikes his life and only tolerates it for Luna’s sake—paired with the revelation that Earth’s previous words weren’t meant to be hateful, just a (admittedly badly-phrased) warning—would likely cause Titan to side with Earth almost immediately, even sooner than in canon.
Europa and Ganymede… not so much. Sure, they genuinely don’t like the Earth, but killing off his life was just a way to prove to the planets that their equals. They’re not as emotionally invested in it as Titan was.
However, I can see the other moons being way harder to persuade into attacking the Earth after the speech, because why would you attack a guy that’s not only apologizing for the whole situation but is claiming that the whole thing was just a misunderstanding and he’s suffering for the sake of one of your fellow moons??
Sure, Ganymede and Europa may still try to convince them to attack, but they’d all refuse, forcing those two to “forgive” the Earth like in canon, just without the actual fight.
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tearlessrain · 3 months ago
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I think it's good for everyone that my father who had six amazon echos in his home died before AI got big. I don't know if I could have kept tolerating him through that.
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anxiously-sidequesting · 7 months ago
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one characteristic about Duncan that i really like and that im totally not reaching for is his unwavering persistence and hard work
in the original tutorial he was shown to be this lazy kid who wanted to reap the rewards without putting in the effort, he was totally content with letting the wizard do HIS homework. BUT (and his later appearance in the Arcanum aligns with this) in the updated tutorial he seems to WANT to do it only his part, but every single other part and would get frustrated if his skills wouldn't allow him to multitask.
even during his """"""villain arc"""""" (the child-turned-young man who was manipulated and indoctrinated into a cult will never be the bad guy to me sorry! that's my L opinion for the day!) duncan kept that original fire to be the best after working so hard to get it (DESPITE the Schism twisting these thoughts into something more akin to resentment and jealousy, and giving him the illusion of choice. the Schism broke Duncan, but not in a way that diminished his fighting spirit)
and then in the Selenopolis update, he seems to be doing actually pretty well in this transition!!! We only saw him for like less than 2 minutes and most of it was in a comedic light but it's very pleasant that duncan seems to be eager, participating, curious, with (what we see on the surface anyways) none of the trauma and emotional turmoil from his earlier appearances in the Schism
even his unserious little, "Can I be leader? 🥹" made me puff up in pride because NEVER let it be known that Duncan Grimwater never takes his shot and goes for it even when he looks dumb and silly and stupid. he has ALWAYS hit above and beyond and look at him now. he's chilling in the ARCANUM OF ALL PLACES, learning that he's now (relatively) safe. i am so glad that i got to see my favorite little loser in the newest update
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coppercrow · 1 year ago
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Chapter four of Alastor, Altruist is shaping up to be the longest one so far (I'm almost at 3000 words and there are a few more big scenes still to write), so it may not be out till this week.
In consolation, I thought I'd post a little snippet of the chapter ft. Vaggie angst, because I haven't seen enough of that around lately XD
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th3w1ltedpe0ny · 1 year ago
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◇Satisfaction◇
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Pairing: Alastor x Fem!Reader
Summary: THE LAST PART TO DRY HUMPING??? Thank you guys for liking my dumbassery? Craaaaazy to think any of you would liked this weird brain shit I got goin on in this blog.
Warning: Smut, pure, unadulterated smut. Smut smutty smut smut smut! (Just enjoy-)
Word count: Noneeee! Just made this
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“I really am impressed,” Al hissed into your ear as his lips trailed down your neck, fingers working deep into your clenching heat as his other hand kneaded the flesh of your breast from underneath your knitted button-up sweater, “You lasted far longer then I believed you would, but alas you didn't meet my true expectations.” His fingers curled, two digits rocking into the spongey spot right near your entrance, drawing a cry from your lips at the teasing. “I fear you haven't earned me inside you just yet.” Finished with a nip to your ear, tweaking your peak with a roll of his forefinger and thumb as your ground down into his other hand, whines and soft gasps continuing to climb in volume as fireflies hummed and blinked around you both. He'd brought you into the swamplands of his pocket dimensional room, his tie, belt, and cane strewn halfway to where he had worked you up from at the door. Your body relaxed flat against the deer demons chest upon his lap so he could have his way with you as he pleased. It was torture though, the edge that was just close enough to reach always furthering itself as he'd slow his movements or move his thumb from your swollen clit to stop that thread from snapping in two. “N-no- I- But!-” You writhed, hands feverishly trying to find a place to rest as the repetitive edging was starting to become to much. “No, Al.. I'm sorry, I never- I didn't mean—” He hushed you, grinning lips placing another kiss on your skin before he managed to switch your position on his lap, making your legs straddle a single thigh so he could see that begging expression.
That pleading look in your foggy eyes, “I'm afraid I won't be going back on my word, Darling. But I will let you have the release you crave.” He explained while moving his hands from your chest and wet, squelching cunt to your waist, from there he drew your body forward and watched as you jolted and squirmed with a noise of embarrassment from your enjoyment of the feeling. His wicked grin grew, eyes narrowing as his smile twitched until you able to see the blackness that was his gums, “Mm-” Your hips jerked against him, hands coming up to his shoulders as a brace as you began to move yourself, no longer needing Alastors help in the matter as strings of moans and blubbering gasps started up again. Satisfied with your eagerness to please yourself from his teasing attacks on your most sensitive area, he leaned further away, back falling flat onto the grass as his ears flattened against his hair and he growled at the feeling of your wet juices flowing over his pants, your knee grazing his bulge that was oh so noticeable. But not to you. “Fuck- Al.. ‘S not enough.. It's not- I can't..!” You whined, body bending forward so that you were hovering over him, hair coming undone from its once firmly tied place, framing the two of you like a curtain as the radio demons claws slipped behind your head to bring you further down. Your body was laying atop his, hands gripping the grass near the sides of his head as his lips caught you in a kiss that broke your mind in half from the unexpected action and surprising amount of affection placed behind it. He plunged his tongue as far into your mouth as he could, his other hand continuing its guidance of your lower half as your eyes rolled back into your head, and your body began to twitch harder. You were right there, and all he had to do was push you all the way. How lovely for him, to have you in this bind, and not even one with your soul but with your mind. Your leg hiked up and slung over his other thigh, your heat pressing firmly on his straining bulge before you finally could hear a noise bubble from beneath Al's static that crackled. A noise resembling a glitched moan left him, noise transferring into your mouth which you reciprocated as he bit down onto your tongue, blood falling onto his lips which he lapped desperately up before you both flipped over.
You felt the soft grass, hair messy against it as you panted against the man above you’s lips, your legs being tugged upwards as he broke the kiss and buried his face into your shoulder so he could rut down between your legs at a quick pace. “How..” He breathed heavily, eyes failing to focus properly on your blissful expression, “How dare you do this to me.. You filthy thing..!” Those words were dripped in malice, anger from the pleasure you were providing for him when he had only wanted you to break for him. You had, but at what cost to his own pleasure. This grotesquely marvelous feeling he'd detested with his entire soul finally feeling as it should, like he needed it to feel as his hips pushed harder, the throb becoming nearly unbearable. He was there, the gooey warmth finally adding to the damp spot that had nearly dried and then some as it seeped slightly through the fabric, the white stickiness gently coating your lady lips as he continued to rub against you until your own climax hit you like a truck. With a groan of sorts, hands holding him into your chest while your body arched, you came undone against him and allowed your mind to fade as he pulled himself flat down against you with a sigh before darkness consumed you.
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red-winter-is-coming · 24 days ago
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I um. I may have accidentally sped ran creating a crack AU, and then a crackship to match. and now I actually really like the idea of said crackship
(it's Pure Vanilla and Pitaya Dragon, with a side of polyancients so it's not like. super far fetched but what the hell they were supposed to be the driving conflict in this AU why are they now flirting????)
#... the AU was a timeloop based among us AU by the way. specifcially based off alpharad's videos with the modded stuff#some specific AU ideas that inspired this:#1) PV getting imposter and Pitaya getting sheriff. Pitaya holding him at gunpoint; taunting about how he would've ended up here regardless#only for PV to bash their skull in with his staff. Pitaya now both wants to kill him and has a newfound admiration#(this is a couple weeks into the timeloop and they're both pissed about being separating from their friends and have been fighting for days#2)a silly lovers game where PV is altruist and Pitaya is jester; and PV resurrects an imposter willingly to get himself out of this shithol#right when Pitaya was at the perfect point to get voted out#3) talking about the other ancients between games and how much they miss them; only for Pitaya to accidentally compare PV to Hollyberry#which is basically a huge honor because Hollyberry is one of their closed relationships#4) a different lovers game; this time when they're both imposters. it's scary how well they worked together to get the win#5) PV getting sheriff; and for once. for *once*. trusts that Pitaya isn't the imposter this time. despite everything; he can't fully pull#the trigger. so he doesn't and crew wins because of it. because Pitaya was a guardian angel to the imposter#and they tell PV the other after their charge is voted out#crk au#crack au#crackship#crk crackship#cookie run kingdom#crk#pure vanilla crk#pitaya dragon crk#(and on top of that; why can I see them working weirdly well in just a general polyancients situation?#like. PV knowing that Pitaya isn't just a raging monster. Pitaya knowing that Hollyberry likes this strange cookie#they both have been greatly affected by WL and DE combined. they're both possible of more care and distrcution then they realize#PV used to look into dark moon magic. Surely Pitaya would find it interesting that the perfect student; the healer with no flaws; dabbled#in such dangers?#and PV looking at Pitaya; and seeing the kindness that seems inherent in their actions. they're big and they'll fight anything that moves#but they care about their home. about the cookies they choose to associate with. about snapdragon and hollyberry and maybe. *maybe*.#deep down in the farthest depths of their heart; the other dragons)
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keysmashslushy · 2 months ago
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one of these days I need to write the NTT fic in my head that’s like. Bruce is sexually abusing Dick, it is a major factor in the fact that Dick is steadily developing a stress pain in his chest, and Raven. Well Raven knows, of course. She’s walked around in his dreams and also he’s become the equivalent of a walking migraine for her lately. They both know the other knows. They are not talking about it. Every now and then they’ll be alone together and Raven will just go. I can sense a deep pain in your soul and Dick will be like Raven I think I just haven’t slept in three days and then they’ll go back to being silent. And it’s not like the Justice league likes Raven that much anyway so she doesn’t feel optimistic about telling them, and besides she understands the good Batman does and how that would be affected if he were ostracized. She gets it. Dick has a Noble Burden, she gets it. She doesn’t know how to communicate that.
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meganhalsey · 2 months ago
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Really, Dan is just majorly caught in the sunk cost fallacy after Megan dies. He's already sunk so much time and energy into this, and lost so much, and the only way for him to get back what he's lost is to see this through. But after realizing he won't ever get Meg back, it snaps him out of this and he realizes he personally has nothing to gain from the research anymore, which is why he leaves.
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kiwidotcom · 11 months ago
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so apparently I have a hobby of spending $400 a month on charity
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halfbaked00q · 3 months ago
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catboy ask anon here. sorry i didn't mean to make u feel bad!! saw a mention of ficlets in your bio so i thought u wrote fic. mb. dont let me interrupt ur vibing <3
Oooh, hi babes! Thank you for coming back and clarifying the tone/intent/context and yea like I acknowledged,,, it kind of was me being bitchy about it :') and also I think whoopsie it might have been a bit of a NOO THAT'S THE THING IM SENSITIVE ABOUT.jpg kinda thing lmao,,, also since I'm pondering self-reflectedly, ig I don't do well without context due to personal stuff probs (lets face it, it's the mother; when is it not the mother- but yea,, ig when I get not enough context I jump to *narrows eyes* is this a trojan horse...)
but also lol,. Ahhhh okay I see where the confusion may have come from!! Unfortunately lmao, I have nothing so realized or respectable as a ficLET to my name,,. no, you see but alas, the bio says ficBIT,. as in.. crumbs lol. I have like the leftover scraps of cake after you make cake jars. and sometimes I squish them into cake pops!! but often I just serve them up as is,. bone apple teeth <3 still yummy, I hope! but you are indeed spooning alternate mouthfuls of cake bits & frosting here lol
#asks answered#anonymous#oh and also addendum to the smalltext oversharing part. I think perhaps part of my defense mechanism is snark lmao...#which does NOT stem from a childhood trauma also this bit is going off the rails now#let's go back to the cakes metaphor- if we spin it. I am presenting a diy cake pop station!! but you could also just be spooning scraps#of cake directly into your mouth lol#there was something else I wanted to overshare while I had this soapbox...#oh yeah! lmao okay so. maybe I sometimes pretend I am posting this altruistically. for the love of the craft. but rly I am kind of#a fake ho about it and Im doing that *cracks an eye open* applaud me pls#yes pls it's free real estate the thots!!! but also attribution plsss#...how is this related..#o yea the. THATS THE THING IM SENSITIVE ABOUT. like. yea I have to tell MYSELF that there are various roles that are all necessary to#the fandom ecosystem. and that like the voice of Authority or Importance in fandom doesn't start and end with Author#of which I am Failing to Be Successfully. or at all :')#thats also maybe why I like. jump to being a bit defensive about it :')#this technically is a me thing ofc. but with the ask coming - from my pov - out of the blue & with no context to me. yea I let my demons wi#(very Bondian of me actually. smh (LOL))#okay enough off brand humor to try to dispel the situation. anyway yea. thank u and heart emojis back#it's all good I wasn't like UPSET upset I was a sussy ho abt it but like I externalize a lot of the negative stuff so I don't internalize it#and Im also a yapper lmao. but it does mean I can come off as more Worked Up about something than I am at times#but yes hopefully I didn't like. put YOU off or like scare you or make YOU feel bad/too bad either <3 im a sarcastic snarky bitch but like >#it's gucci it's cool we vibin here <3
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blackjackkent · 1 year ago
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Me> [struggling to unravel a very annoying UI bug]
My brain, entirely unprompted> H E Y. IF JAHEIRA HAD USED SOME MORE MINOR VERSION OF THAT RITE OF THE TIMELESS BODY ON RASAAD TO EXTEND HIS LIFESPAN, IT WOULD RESOLVE THE MORE FINICKY TIMELINE ISSUES ABOUT RION BEING THEIR KID.
Me> ...ok? I didn't ask right now but thank you for working that out I guess.
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im-smart-i-swear · 1 year ago
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guy trapped in a hell of his own creation: haha ive never done anything wrong in my entire life. and im always right:] anyway. why did my little brother move out:(
its so funny to me that at first glance tashi seems like hed be the most 'normal' out of all the clones but at least all the others are slowly healing n shit while hes just getting more and more insane each day and one day hell snap and explode and maim someone
#my art#my funky guys#HES SO FUCKING STUPID.#tashi im sorry ily but youre literally the dumbes fucking motherfucker ive ever seen. and a cringe loser. never change king<3#like. this guy realised he was a clone when he was a month old and decided to base his new personality entirely#on the idealised version of the original he made up in his head.#like he did this to himself!!! he chose to revolve his entire personality around being a 'perfect flawless mom friend'!!!!!!!#in his head hes like the most selfless & altruistic person to ever walk the earth but in reality hes a sad selfish mess who just wants to#be loved.#he started out as a pretty nice and level headed guy who wanted to help ppl but then it just spiraled when he made that his entire#personality bc of his inability to move on from a lie he really wanted to be true.#he percieves shiro as this perfect flawless leader figure and he wants DESPERATELY to imitate that. deep down its not enough for him to#simply coparent and share responsibility w the others. no no no he has to be The Leader and do everything himself!#this mindset results in him later on starting to dismiss and undervalue his familys work and commitment to keeping them all alive-#esp soup. like sHE WAS THERE W HIM FROM THE VERY BEGINNING THEY ARE EQUALS THEY ARE BOTH EQUALLY IMPORTRANT#AND HES SO FAR UP HIS ASS HE FORGOT. somewhere along the line he forgot. he missed the point. he spiraled too deep.#and he knows. he knows but hes so terrified of change and growth and admitting he CANT do this alone.#he wants to be a cool epic capable solo leader AND he craves family and connection soooo badly he cant live w/o his loved ones.#so yeah. hes an angry little pathetic freak<3 i love him#despite all that hes not a bad person. just a flawed guy thrown into a situation so stressful and traumatising that he clinged to the only#coping mechanism he had at the time and just sorta. ran with it.#dw he gets better tho! it takes a lot and his and sticks relationship is strained for a LONG time but he slowly gets better. good for him
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