#and I'm probably missing loads of fun stuff here

[immortalsins]

potentially got invited to the pub by the people i met last night, not sure if that's on but i'll be paralysed with stress until i know

[halcyone-of-the-sea]

Wow! As the header says, my blog just went past 5k followers - I'd like to extend a heartfelt thank you to everyone who hopped on for this journey; I'm having the time of my life sharing my writing with you all.

In celebration and as a way to have a little fun - I'll be opening my inbox for a day and letting those who want to send in something fill it up!

Now, I know you're probably asking yourself 'Hal, I thought you said requests are going to be closed so you can finish the ones you have and work on the AUs?' And you'd be correct - I did say that. I'm not going to be writing full-length works for this event.

To anyone who sends something in (and follows the rules I have in place on my Request Form (be sure to check it even if you've already read it, I added some more characters and other stuff)) I'll be writing one-to-two page drabbles!

All this being said, after this post is uploaded I'll be opening my inbox up to anyone who would want to participate and closing it exactly one day after!

Thank you again for being the best community ever - I'm incredibly lucky to be surrounded by kind and respectful individuals as well as mutuals who are mind-numbingly sweet. I could not have achieved all of this without you; I think that's beautiful.

This post will also serve as the Masterlist for all of the expected drabbles, so if you'd like to keep updated on what's going to be happening/being written soon, this would be a good place to hang out!

ALL COMPLETED AS OF 11/5/2023

IMAGES USED: A black retriever in an extensive mountainous landscape by Maud Earl & L'angelo, la morte e il diavolo by Roberto Ferri || TOTAL: 5

➣The Perfect One

╰┈➤ ❝ [He stares at the rings under the glass with an acute narrowness to his eyes. He inspects every one as if a bomb might go off at any second, not missing a single detail in the metal.] ❞

➣Get In

╰┈➤ ❝ [Coming home with bruises and stitched wounds, you drag him into the bathroom to wash away the memories.] ❞

➣Hum Me A Tune, Blue-Eyes

╰┈➤ ❝ [You listen to his heartbeat as he keeps you to his chest, his breath tickling your hair.] ❞

➣Here Now

╰┈➤ ❝ [He nearly misses one of the most important moments of your lives together.] ❞

➣Burst Veins

╰┈➤ ❝ [He never noticed you weren't behind him.] ❞

IMAGES USED:  Fallen Angel by Roberto Ferri & Nature of Fear by Nicola Samori || TOTAL: 5

➣Nervous Eyes

╰┈➤ ❝ [No one understands how you two get along - not when you're so different. It makes you second-guess yourself. He notices.] ❞

➣Blood Like Obsidian

╰┈➤ ❝ [Simon can only fight against so many nurses as they shove him back from your operation room.] ❞

➣Supposed To Happen

╰┈➤ ❝ [You died and left him a child he had no idea existed. How can he even begin to try and understand?] ❞

➣Digging Gaze

╰┈➤ ❝ [You indulge in a one-night-stand after you'd both called it quits, only, it leads to more problems. When he sees you again, how will he react to the swelling of your stomach?] ❞

➣Sole Survivor

╰┈➤ ❝ [Your father died years ago, and so you fall under the stiff, and unyielding, protection of your Uncle Simon. But it's not all bad. He can be funny when he wants to be.] ❞

IMAGES USED: White and Black by Vadim Gorbatov & Saint Augustine by Philippe de Champaigne || TOTAL: 7

➣Didn't Mean It

╰┈➤ ❝ [Arguments are rare, certainly ones that leave you in tears.] ❞

➣Him, Her, and the Dog

╰┈➤ ❝ [The woes of pining after a woman whose deadly K9 looks like it hates his guts.] ❞

➣Drunken Sappiness

╰┈➤ ❝ [You can't say you've ever had a boyfriend as perfect as Kyle.] ❞

➣How Do You Listen To That?

╰┈➤ ❝ [It was three a.m. when you all got the call to load up, but what's the best way to wake both yourself and the Sergeant up?] ❞

➣Finally Broken

╰┈➤ ❝ [Childhood friends turned lovers. The realization was far more violent and instantaneous than you'd like to admit.] ❞

➣Don't Look At Her

╰┈➤ ❝ [The bomb starts ticking down, rapidly firing to zero. Gaz won't let Price near you. Not after he'd remembered the Captain's actions when they'd first met.] ❞

➣In His Head

╰┈➤ ❝ [Collection of his SFW and NSFW quirks.] ❞

IMAGES USED: Scene from the Great Flood by Joseph-Désiré Court & Saint Jerome in Prayer by Carlo Dolci || TOTAL: 7

➣Life Snaps By In Flashes

╰┈➤ ❝ [A collection of memories from the second he laid eyes on you. All flashing past in the soft buzzing of the overhead lights.] ❞

➣Heart-Eyes

╰┈➤ ❝ [Being a medic wasn't pretty, but when your boyfriend was the subject under your needle you can't help but enjoy his unwavering gaze. Today, he has something to share with you.] ❞

➣From Ten To Twenty & Beyond

╰┈➤ ❝ [You've known him ever since the incident on the playground, and now you can't help but imagine that same boy as you watch him make supper with flour in his hair.] ❞

➣Find Me

╰┈➤ ❝ [You're finally back in One-Four-One's hands, but that doesn't mean you're saved. Johnny tracks you down after a violent episode.] ❞

➣Still The Same Fools

╰┈➤ ❝ [There was always a rivalry between you two - that hasn't changed even if both of you have. Years later, the boiling point is finally met.] ❞

➣Is This Why?

╰┈➤ ❝ [He finally sees why you never introduced him to your parents.] ❞

➣Oblivious Pining

╰┈➤ ❝ [Johnny hangs off you like a silent beast. Not that you would notice, of course.] ❞

IMAGES USED: King Gustav III of Sweden and His Brothers by Alexander Roslin & Geography lesson by Eduard Karl Gustav Lebrecht Pistorius || TOTAL: 6

KEEGAN P. RUSS:

➣Paint The Dawn; Paint My Eyes

╰┈➤ ❝ [In the midst of war and death, there's little time for pleasure. All you had was a ripped-up sketchbook to call your own, its contents littered with the rough face of your comrade.] ❞

➣Hold Her Close

╰┈➤ ❝ [Keegan cares for his young daughter.] ❞

➣When The Fighting Stops & The Silence Sets In

╰┈➤ ❝ [Continuation of (Don't) Go To War: the aftermath of recovery and a budding relationship.] ❞

➣Movies and Stale Popcorn

╰┈➤ ❝ [Oak and Keegan finally get to watch that movie.] ❞

DAVID 'HESH' WALKER:

➣To The Boy of My Childhood

╰┈➤ ❝ [Ten years came and went fast, but the memory of the Walker boys stayed. One more than the other. You never got to tell him you loved him.] ❞

➣Keep The Sheets Warm, My Love Is Coming Home

╰┈➤ ❝ [If this wasn't enough to prove that you were the only person for Hesh, you didn't know what did.] ❞

IMAGES USED: Saint Catherine of Alexandria by Caravaggio & Amor Vincit Omnia by Caravaggio || TOTAL: 17

CAPTAIN JOHN 'SOAP' MACTAVISH:

➣New Paint

╰┈➤ ❝ [Fighting to forget you, MacTavish finds comfort in whoever he can. Yet, like the layers of paint on the walls, it always peels back to you.] ❞

➣A Song of Gnashing Teeth

╰┈➤ ❝ [There was never a day where the two of you weren't butting heads - everyone was at their wit's end. Of course, you would both be forced to cooperate at some point.] ❞

➣Listen To My Voice

╰┈➤ ❝ [He orders you to focus on him as the sounds outside the cell get closer. He promises nothing will happen to you. You know he's lying.] ❞

➣Look At The Stars; Look At Me

╰┈➤ ❝ [Stargazing in the middle of an overgrown and wild glade.] ❞

➣Alive and Breathing

╰┈➤ ❝ [You're sick. Very sick. John takes drastic action.] ❞

➣I Can See It In Your Eyes

╰┈➤ ❝ [It's finally time to meet the family.] ❞

➣A Green-Eyed Monster

╰┈➤ ❝ [You'd slept together, sure. No strings attached. Then why are you trying to make him jealous? Who cares, the point is that it's working.] ❞

SERGEANT GARY 'ROACH' SANDERSON:

➣Dance With Me Before The Chill Sets In

╰┈➤ ❝ [Tired? Yes, but he's never too tired for you and your loveliness. But maybe you need to remember to lock the door when you're home alone.] ❞

➣Raining Cats and Dogs

╰┈➤ ❝ [Roach has a deep love of storms.] ❞

OPERATION OFFICER ALEX KELLER:

➣Bright-Eyed History Lesson

╰┈➤ ❝ [A librarian with a fascination for war history and a soldier who loves how her eyes light up. Like a dog, he can't stop himself from coming back; smiling like a fool.] ❞

COLONEL ALEJANDRO VARGAS:

➣Hold Me Longer

╰┈➤ ❝ [Mornings spent in the sanctity of warm sunlight and bare skin.] ❞

SERGEANT MAJOR RODOLFO 'RUDY' PARRA:

➣A Love Like Ours Makes Us Strong

╰┈➤ ❝ [Rodolfo came back, alive but bruised. How do you explain how terrified you were?] ❞

COMMANDER PHILLIP GRAVES:

➣Sleeping On The Porch

╰┈➤ ❝ [As it turns out, your husband never really died. It's safe to say you're not overjoyed.] ❞

➣Love Echoes In Silence

╰┈➤ ❝ [You can feel him watching you, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed and a small smile. Humming to yourself, you listen to the birds outside the window.] ❞

SEBASTIAN JOSEF KRUEGER:

➣Ain't Giving Up My Pride

╰┈➤ ❝ [You get on his nerves, partially because you want to. But what happens when he finally snaps?] ❞

ALL 141 INCLUDED (SEPARATE):

➣Count The Hours

╰┈➤ ❝ [Collection of what the One-Four-One do on their down-hours with their Lovers] ❞

➣Wide-Eyed Panic

╰┈➤ ❝ [Why were you behind the couch?] ❞

[gguk-n]

The Sky Between Us (Charles Leclerc x Reader)

Summary- Meeting Charles was an accident, but being with him was a choice. Did Y/N have any say in keeping Charles by her side tho?

Series Masterlist

Chapter 1- Whispers of Adventure

If someone was to tell Y/N 2 years ago that she would be standing in a hotel in Austria involved in a heated argument with her boyfriend, she surely wouldn't have believed you. But here she was, eyes red, mouth dry and tears ready to spill. It wasn't always like that she reminisced.

Y/N was on a girls trip to Monaco, a trip that took months to plan and a lot of saving on their part. But Y/N was happy to be there, between all the glitz and glam. Everyone seemed so rich and wealthy, the 5 girls felt embarrassed asking for the prices of stuff before making the purchase, so they kept to sight seeing and eating food. On the second day of the trip, Y/N was out grabbing coffee for herself while her friends caught up with some sleep when she ran into a man, quite literally. It was like in the movies, her coffee cup, now cold but still half full, had landed smack in the middle of a man's white shirt. It looked horrible, this would stain and she had just ruined a strangers white shirt in all of this. Y/N profusely apologised and offered to either pay for the dry cleaning or buy him a new shirt. He seemed amused at the proposition. "I'm Charles, by the way." he said. "I would like to know the name of the woman about to buy me a new shirt." he asked. Flustered, Y/N raised her hand forward and introduced herself, he was quite attractive, she wasn't going to lie and probably around her age.

There was a garment store down the street, Y/N didn't really pay much heed to the store, how much could a plain white shirt cost, she thought. As the sales clerk pulled the same white shirt he was wearing out of the rack to ring it up, she asked, "Just wondering, it's a dress shirt, right? Must be slightly expensive, hmm." She nodded mostly to herself. Only moments later, Y/N was about to find out that the shirt cost almost 5000 euros, her mouth lay open in shock. She quickly collected herself and moved Charles away from the cashier, "What kind of job do you do that your shirt costs how much I make in a month?" she looked perplexed. "I travel the world due to my work." he replied. "I got that much, but damn dude, I want to apologise to you for ruining your shirt worth 5000 euros, I'll get on my knees and beg but I wouldn't be able to buy you that shirt. Any way I can pay for the dry cleaning. I'm pretty sure it costs in 1000s of euros, anyways." she rambled on. Charles laughed at the anguish of the woman in front of him. "This isn't funny Charles. Fucking hell. I had to go and bump into the hot rich white man while in Monaco at that." she mumbled while running a hand through her hair. Charles smirked, "I have a proposition" he began. "I'm not selling my organs for a shirt. You are fucking loaded, buy it yourself." Y/N cut him off. "Hear me out for a minute" the french accent thick. "Go on a date with me and that's the shirt sorted." he continued. Y/N seemed to mull her options over and agreed to the date.

It had been 6 months since the eventful day when Y/N spilt coffee all over Charles shirt. A quick google after the date let her know that he was a driver for Ferrari in F1; that explained his luxurious taste. Charles had yet to officially tell her about his profession. He kept the answers vague when asked about his work, enough that he didn't give it away but enough to not tell the complete truth. Y/N wasn't going to end his fun, he could tell her when he wanted to, she decided.

Charles wanted to show her what he did and finally stop lying about his career, he thought. So a week before a GP he called her; Y/N answered immediately. "HI CHARLIE" Y/N's voice echoed through the phone. "I missed you," she continued. " Not as much as I missed you." Charles cooed. "That's why I was hoping maybe you would like to come see me." Charles asked hopefully. Y/N smiled. She wouldn't give up the opportunity to see her boyfriend but she wouldn't be able to buy a flight ticket on such short notice. "Ahh, baby, as much as I would love to see you and hug you and kiss you; I won't be able to fly out to Monaco anytime soon." Y/N added. "Who said anything about Monaco?" Charles questioned. "I'm gonna be in Monza, Italy for work, this weekend. You can join me too." Charles said. "Won't your bosses hate me, for disturbing your work trip." Y/N joked. "They wouldn't dare" Charles declared. "On one condition." Y/N said. "And what is that?" Charles asked. "Dinner date at the most fanciest restaurant in Monza on Sunday?!" Y/N said hesitantly. That was the easiest thing. Charles wouldn't mind spending the night with his girlfriend. The perfect end to Ferrari's home race, he thought. "By the way, there's a race this weekend, you might want to keep some casual clothes for the race." Charles said in the most nonchalant way as possible. "OOhhh, races aren't really my thing." Y/N chided. She was in the mood to mess with her Charlie. "Its so boring to watch rich men drive around in circles" she moaned. "I promise you, you'll have fun. Don't worry." Charles tried to reason with her. "If it's required for your 'work' thing, than I can be a supportive partner I guess." she groaned while looking like she was in deep thought.

Friday came around a lot quicker than Y/N expected. Charles had flown her out. At the hotel, they got dressed to leave for media day for the race. "I don't see the charm of going on a day when there are no races." Y/N said as she fixed her white shirt. She had looked up all the Pinterest mood boards for how a Ferrari driver's girlfriend should look and did a bit of shopping. Who knew a Ferrari jacket cost that much, she thought. This was the last time she was gonna tease Charles; she took the Red Bulls Racing hat out and put it on her head. Charles mouth dropped open, "Are you wearing that?" he stuttered out. "My friend said I should support a team, so she lend me her RedBull's hat" Y/N read out from the cap. "I can get you stuff, don't worry about that." Charles was out of words, how could his girlfriend be wearing the opponents merch. He quickly rummaged through his stuff to get his Ferrari shirt out and on himself before his girlfriend jumped ships. Watching Charles made Y/N burst out laughing. "God, I can't keep this up. I was gonna wait for you to tell me." Y/N said in between laughs while putting the Ferrari jacket on and keeping the RedBulls cap away. Charles was now standing in front of her. She knew; the whole time. "I know you are an F1 driver for Ferrari. One quick google search and your face is plastered all over my screen." Y/N said while cupping his face. "Why didn't you tell me that you knew?" Charles enquired. "I was hoping you would tell me what you do, like I told you what I did." Y/N replied matter-of-factly. Charles closed the distance between them and kissed her lips.

All of these good memories seemed to have been over shadowed in both Charles and Y/N's mind as the two stood in the hotel in Austria, 2 years later. Y/N had only told Charles that work was gonna be hectic for the next couple months and she wanted to focus on it since she could be promoted. Charles wasn't willing to reason, he kept up the demand that Y/N drop everything for him. "Why can't you be like the other girlfriends? Who are there to support their boyfriend? I literally have to beg you to be there for me." Charles shouted. Y/N was taken aback, "Baby, I've been there as much as I could be, you know me and work." she tried to reason. "No, I don't and I don't wanna know either. If you love work so much, then why are you even dating me?" Charles asked. "You did not just say that, Charlie, I love you and that's why I take the time out to spend it with you. Obviously, I wanna be there as much as I can but it isn't possible with work and stuff." Y/N answered. "If you can't be there for me when I need you, then I don't need you" Charles said. "You don't mean that" Y/N lips quivered and the tears threatened to spill. "We are done Y/N, have fun with work and all the things more important to you than me." with that Charles left their shared hotel room with all his stuff.

[bfdiredux]

Character proposal: Two

May as well be God. They have a power SO intense that the only number with more than them is 2763-- and that's only because 2763 can suppress Algebralien power.

Casual, easy-going, optimistic, tolerant, and friendly! Two gives others several chances, even if they really don't deserve it. Two is either completely in tune or out of touch with what's happening at any given moment.

ADHD friend! Two has their moments of forgetting about their own power.

They crave validation. They find it easy to get attached and difficult to let go.

When Two is hit with extreme emotions, they are hit HARD. They find it very difficult to recover from negative feelings.

Pre-BFDI Two struggles to keep friends. Stuff just kept happening. In wanting to keep friends, and thus being deeply concerned about what others thought of them, they became easy to push around.

I don't know what One's history with Two looks like in canon. All that's for sure is that she was trapped away somewhere but for the redux, I REALLY like the idea of One and Two being friends before that happened. I'm talking close-- possibly best-- friends. One introduced Two to the Equation Playground.

Following the incident, Two felt very mixed. That is-- was?-- their friend, right? One was good to them, wasn't she? Wasn't she??

Their standing with other Algebraliens either is neutral or positive. They weren't particularly close with many-- although it is easy for them to make friends and get along with others. Two hit it off really well with Eight. Eight is chill, easy to be around. Two likes that.

Two and Eight grew close and became QPPs(queer platonic partners!) Unfortunately, like so many times before, something caused them to split up and stop communicating all together. Maybe it has something to do with Fourteen. Right before Fourteen shows his true colors.

This is their last straw. After so many times failed, Two leaves their planet and goes on adventures. They return once or twice-- long enough to see BFDIA and have a WONDERFUL IDEA.

A sudden spark of motivation.

They should host a gameshow........... Aaaand they find something else interesting.

Hosting a gameshow chews at the back of their mind for years until they decide to use their powers to find the contestants of BFDIA-- they'd be loads of fun!!

They land on Earth in time to stop Spongy and Loser from getting ran over by Four. It's BFB!

Four and Two knew each other in the Redux. They weren't friends but they weren't enemies either. So, Four's quote changes from canon--

"What are YOU doing here? D:<"

Two gives Four a joyful wave, doesn't answer his question, and invites people to join TPOT. For now, it's pretty much the same scene as in BFB 16.

X stays behind. For some reason. Two has a chat with them before some BFBers come in and take them back

It takes a lot of reminders from the TPOT contestants to ACTUALLY start the show-- this becomes a running thing.

Two and Gaty get their time together. New friend unlocked!

After BFB ends, Four and X show up looking for something to do. Two offers them a place at the hotel. Four seems OVERJOYED(totally not plotting to use this as a way to get back at Two for taking his contestants!)

Two's toleration REALLY stands out when they're around Four. He's rightfully upset about Two taking over but the way he behaves back would have most done with him. Four and X get to work the kitchen!

Two is quick to swoop in and save the EXITors from Four when they manage to escape him. Two gives Four a good scold for trapping the EXITors like that and then puts them to work in the hotel diner. Dora responds by breaking a window.

Over the course of TPOT, Two becomes sadder and sadder to see competitors go. Two's made friends with and gotten to understand so many of them.

Eliminated contestants that aren't sent to Two's domain are going missing. Being ever the optimist, Two brushes it off, assuring everyone that the eliminated ones are probably somewhere-- they'll be fine and Two'll just send eliminated contestants to their domain quicker from hereon out.

There are consequences to not thinking things through.

Two and Gaty just keep on getting closer. Two eventually brings up QPRs to Gaty around TPOT 12 and Gaty lights up. They are now in a QPR!!

Gaty is eliminated in TPOT 14. Two is heartbroken and sends her away to the kitchen, leaving the contestants under the impression that she was in Two's domain. But, hey! Two can look on the bright side here-- now they can spend more time with Gaty.

This is the longest and best relationship Two has ever had. It's not perfect-- there's some attachment problems to work out, as well as priorities-- but Two is really happy for once.

TPOT 15: Seasonal Shift.

The timeline is fucked up and Two doesn't know how or why. It's fixed, not by the contestants but a force Two can't perceive, and a few changes carry over. Marker is green, there's a big crack in the sky---

A few changes?

Two RUSHES to the kitchen. It's a mess-- bags are sprawled everywhere, some utensils, and lots of food.

No sign of Gaty.

Shit.

Two snaps their fingers over and over, falling to the ground and covering their face, trying not to cry. Nothing is working. Gaty is gone, it's like she never existed in the first place.

Oh GOD. She never..

Two is left alone again and they can't take it.

Two completely shuts down. It's X who finds them in the kitchen and takes them to their room. Fanny and Ice Cube set up shop in there shortly after.

Two blocks it all out. They stare at their ceiling. They can't bring themself to move.

X brings Two food sometimes. Two doesn't eat until they're alone but it's not enough. They can feel their power draining and they just. Don't care anymore.

What's the point in going on if everything they love will be lost again and again?

This concept sat in my draft for a week 💔 I'm so proud of it

[muffinrecord]

I need to go to bed, but initial thoughts:

I like Magia Record a lot more. I'm having fun but I admit that I feel a little disappointed. I'm going to stick with it but I don't think I'll need to worry about whaling too much on this game.

The combat is growing on me. I prefer Magia Record's combat but I can see how Magidora is going to have more intricate stuff going on that won't just devolve into magia spam/blast spam. Maybe. I dunno? But it's fun and that's good enough. I do like the speed element of it over random disc selection, I think.

I don't really like the 3d bits but I can live with it. Folks keep saying how good the graphics look and to me it looks kinda ugly, but no one ever said I have good taste.

I don't particularly like how exploring labyrinths work. You're not even really exploring, just moving in a straight line looking for the occasional shiny. The labyrinth parts feel like an awkward in-between the content that matters, aka story and combat. I think I'd rather move between menu screens.

Uhhhh story wise.... Hmm. I think one problem I have is that the main story is literally just pmmm but an inferior visual novel version. If I want to read the pmmm story then I can go watch the anime or the movies or even the horrible comics. This doesn't really do it for me.

I'm also a little worried about upcoming event stories for spinoff girls. I straight up hated the Tart events in MR because a lot of them were an extended boring rehash of the manga and if I want to experience the story, I'd rather read the fucking manga, you know? For all the upcoming spinoffs: are they going to do their own thing with new stories like magia record did? Or are they going to be another visual novel version of the comics? Because god I don't really want to go through that???

It was also kind of depressing to get old characters I love, excitedly go to their magical girl stories, and then realize they're probably going to be rehashing what we already know. I mean, they're not copies of the originals and I can see how they might provide new context that we didn't have before, but something about it just makes me really sad.

I also REALLY miss having a homescreen character. There is so much charm in having a character on the homescreen, selecting their outfit, getting excited over new poke quotes. And being able to change your homescreen in general. Getting a new character in magia record wasn't just exciting cause new character but also because you got to put them on the homescreen and see what they were about, you know? Like these are their poke quotes, here are their outfits, look at all their lil animations! I miss it so much. Getting a new character does not feel that exciting to me at all ;_;

Something I never thought about before, but I hate how dark all the menu screens are. MagiReco menus had a lot of color and variations and they weren't just the same dark gray background repeated over and over.

Like look at this. Where's the color? I feel sad looking at this OTL

I think all of this kind of culminates in: it feels like some of my favorite aspects of magireco were taken away, mainly the character-focused nature of it. I'm not going to say Magireco was the pinnacle of writing but it was what drew me to the story in the first place and it's not here.

Last negative thought-- I have absolutely no idea how a person who doesn't know anything about Madoka Magica would feel about the game. The presentation feels kind of weird-- I feel like we're already meant to know who everyone is based on all the videos you see before loading in but then the story kind of treats us like we're brand new and that Mami is supposed to be some sort of surprise.

All of that said, it's early access and we're not even a whole day into it-- I'm not done with the main story so it's possible I'm missing stuff too. Maybe I'll be more into it once I start watching more Magical Girl Stories. The event story is kind of boring so far but it's also pmmm girlies and I love them but-- you know.

I think my greatest fear for the game is that it doesn't bring anything new and it just summarizes stories we already know. I know you have to strike a balance between presenting content that old fans and new fans alike are going to find interesting-- and new fans need to know what's the deal with characters they are unfamiliar with too. But I really hope it gives us new stories, new characters, new things in general.

There are elements I like, I swear that it's not just all negative. It looks like we'll spend a lot of time developing our characters and I like long projects which reward you for patient investment. Again, the combat is growing on me and I'm starting to enjoy it more.

Actually trying to write out the positives makes me think of more things i dislike aklfjsaklfasjfkkasfja

Which is weird, because I'm not not having fun. I am! I dunno.

I don't want to be a huge bummer so I won't put this in the tag. We'll see how I feel about the game in like a week.

At the very least this game looks like it'll be a fun way to waste some time and good god I've been needing something like that lately so if anything, thank the stars for that

[wings-of-ink]

Hear ye, hear ye!

All of you who have been anxiously awaiting Chapter 4 can send a big thank you to the Microsoft mayhem that happened on Friday. Because of it, I have had two entire, unprecedented, days off of work during which all I did was write and edit chapter 4! Stuff like this never happens to me either, so I ate it up. My work computer is still super broken too, so who knows what will happen tomorrow, lol.

So, chapter 4, barring anything disastrous that I do not yet foresee – is coming very soon. Like, any day this week soon. For now, I am looking for bugs and other errors until I feel comfortable getting the update loaded. I will also be updating the warning list and some things on the itch page. I keep feeling like I'm forgetting something I wanted to do, and am having a hell of a time remembering what it was…

Anyway, if it interests you, more details below!

In going through some of the Google Error Reports, I had a couple that I either could not resolve or find.

It was reported that checking player stats in chapter 1 would not work – that it would flash only for a moment. I could not recreate this. If anyone else has seen this, please let me know.

In the end of chapter 2 where there are multiple ways to spend your time there seems to be some issues with how choices become unselectable after certain clicks and it just doesn't seem to function correctly. I have fixed the issues I have found, but could not recreate all of the instances that were reported. This section may get an overhaul in the future since I understand the coding a bit more now.

It was also reported that fonts are not changing. There is definitely a weird issue with this and it will take some time for me to sit down and hammer out. The fonts do change for me, but notably, I don't think they are switching to the correct font types. They don't even appear to be the same fonts from when I first starting this project, lol. This issue is on hold for now.

The last 2 bonus segments for the end of chapter 3 are being pushed aside for the time being. I kept finding myself feeling like I was hammering them into the chapter and it was a little exhausting. If I force it, it will be less enjoyable to read. The segments that are missing are the ones for hanging out with Zahn and Nathanael. Zahn's is easy to wiggle in elsewhere at least, but I'm not sure if Nathan's will make it in or not. We'll see, my motivation was purely for chapter 4, so now that it is ready to go, I'll have another crack at it before I drop or move them completely. They aren't super important to the story, but are just for fun (and if Oswin got his, it's only fair that Zahn gets theirs too). That last section of chapter 3 ended up way too long, so it may get adjusted later anyway.

As with any work in progress, I can't guarantee that your old saves will work. That's probably how we are going to have to roll for a bit until I really get things nice and smooth. Eventually, I will add an option to start from a later chapter and go through and make the (MANY) relevant choices to skip ahead. This may be implemented when Chapter 6 is ready to go since all the ROs will be available.

I also want to figure out how to implement named saves to make it easier for you to sort. I appreciate IFs that feature this, but I do not yet know how to do it, but I'm going to research. I like to play through with several MCs, and I'd like to offer enough info in the saves and/or Stats Menu that you can do this and easily know who you are playing as. Let me know what you would like most in the Player Stats Menu too. Note, that some options do not appear here until you choose them in the story.

Coming up…

Since Chapter 4 is down, I will soon be posting a big poll about future IFs. I've been compiling info for it here and there for a couple weeks on possible options for me to write in conjunction with God-Cursed. So, stay tuned for that in the coming days.

I will FINALLY get to my inbox in earnest as well! I will keep reaction asks paused until further notice since they take me the longest to answer. Feel free to still send in comments or quicker questions. If your question is too spoilery to answer, I will not be able to post about it.

Anyway, hope you are all doing well! I can't wait to see what you think of chapter 4. I hope you enjoy it. I'll get it out just as soon as I feel comfortable enough with it. ^_^

[lemon-russ]

More smutless (for now) Leman Russ fic. Whats important is that I'm having fun and subjecting you all to it lol.

(Thanks @squishyowl for the dividers. Idk if getting tagged every fic bothers you, lmk :,) )

Wolf Mother (Ch. 2)

<Prev. | Next>

Ao3

Leman Russ x Fem OC

CW (not necessarily this chapter but overall): Trauma, anxiety, PTSD, General WH40k violence, Sex, probably breeding kink stuff eventually, if there's something I miss and you want labeled let me know!!

Summary: Wren and Guilliman arrive at The Fang and meet The Wolf King.

Word count: 1,637

Wren Vaille walks down the corridors of the Macragge's Honour to the door of Guilliman's office. He smiles a greeting to her when she opens the door, and walks beisdes her down the hall.

“Thank you for giving this a chance, Captain.” He says with a smile.

She gives a small smile back, walking around him so he walked on her right side where she could see him. “Of course, sir. It would not be very honorable of me to not even attempt to help you.”

Guilliman raises a brow, then glances at her blinded left eye, scar running through it, and has a small look of understanding, moving aside to give her room. “Still it is a huge favor. But I wouldn't send you somewhere you're in danger. My brother may be rowdy, but I think he will like you.” He smiles at her. “You have the same indomitable spirit.”

She scrunches her brows together. “Uh-huh. Sometimes I fear you have a very inflated idea of me, my Lord.” She says with a small chuckle.

Guilliman chuckles back. “I think you have a very under-inflated view of yourself, Captain. You'll handle the space wolves well, I think.” He says with a pat on her shoulder.

She stumbles a little under the sudden weight of his ceramite gauntlet, bionic leg whirring a groaning noise as she tripped and caught herself before falling.”um- thank you, sir, I suppose.”

They reach the bay doors to the hangar, peppered with blue armored forms and uniforms scurrying around gunning ships and thunderhawks.

A thunderhawk near them was being loaded with what few material possesions she had, a few boxes and a large bag. She swallows hard, her mouth dry.

Guilliman waved to a serf, who brought over a folded coat. “Here, I had this brought for you.” He says, holding up a warm looking, fur lined coat in ultramarine blue. “Fenris is bitterly cold, especially for baseline humans. I worried you wouldn't have sufficent layers.” He smiles.

“Oh, thank you my Lord.” She says, taking the warm, insulated coat. She swallows back some emotion. This may be the last Ultramarine thing she'll own. The rest of her uniform would be packed away with her old Auxillia fatigues.

She gives him a tight smile, trying to not get sentimental. “I really appreciate this, it was very thoughtful.” She says as she pulls on the thick coat.

He smiles and pats her shoulder again. “It's ok to feel emotional, Captain. It is the human thing to feel sad at goodbyes.” He says in a softer tone.

She bites her lower lip. “This is probably only temporary, anyways, my Lord.” She says, walking with him toward the thunderhawk. “I doubt I'll be able to actually keep up with space wolves.” She says with a forced smile.

He smiles and offers her a hand to help her up the ramp of the ship. “Of course, Captain Vaille. It's hardly permanent.”

He helps her settle and buckle in, then tells the pilot to head off.

“I'll see you off to my Brother. It's been too long since I visited, anyway.” The primarch says, sitting next to her as much as the small seats allow.

The ride to the surface of Fenris is short enough, and soon they are landing on the landing bays of The Fang, the massive mountain fortress that serves as the seat of the Space Wolves.

An icy blast has Wren clutching her new coat tight around her shoulders and shivering as the doors to the ship open. Guilliman chuckles, patting her back.

“That's why I got you a coat. Come, Leman should be around and he is terrible at sitting still, so we should be quick so he doesn't run off on us.” He says as he helps her down the ramp.

Her bionic leg, junky as ever, immediately tries to seize as the cold air plays havoc on the metal gears and hydraulic pistons. She gives it a couple whacks with the side of her fist and hobbles off after Guilliman.

They enter the Valgard, the uppermost structure of the fortress and the only place with ship bays. The rest of the fortress is in underground tunnels through the mountain. Thankfully the interior of the mountain is a bit more hospitable.

They walk through corridors of metal, wood and cave tunnels, with busy lifts moving Space Wolves and serfs around. Guilliman leads her through a massive, ornate room of pure granite, down a concerning lift, and through more halls until he stops at a door and knocks.

“Skítja, Who knocks in the Aett?” Someone curses in a rough voice, stomping to the door and flinging it open.

“What- Oh!” The Primarch goes from annoyance to joy in a flash. “Ah, Roboute, I was wondering who would be so formal, I forgot you were coming today.” He laughs.

Leman Russ is a couple feet taller than his brother, and grins down at him with a fanged smile. “Come, come- I was just rehashing defense nonsense.” He says, waving Guilliman in to the defense overlook. Wren, seemingly forgotten, scurries after their long strides into a smaller room of cluttered papers, books, scrolls, and maps laying across a table.

Russ flops onto a large wooden high back chair, leg over the arm, grinning and motioning for Guilliman to sit in a similar one. “So, you sent word of some sort of paperwork thrall?” He asks.

Guilliman chuckled under his breath as he sat, and Wren awkwardly stood beside his chair. They call Serfs thralls? That isn’t very reassuring, she thought to herself.

“Not quite, but yes. This is my assistant, Wren Vaille.” Guilliman introduces, and she gives a polite salute. “I want to offer her to you to do what she does for me- Paperwork, scheduling, some logistics, communicating on my behalf with other Primarchs…” he says, patting her back. “Clerical type work that you seem to need.” He adds, eyeing the piles of strewn papers with a tight frown.

Leman looks at her for the first time, eyeing her up and down, then quirks his head to the side in a way that can only be compared to a curious dog. “Where’d the other half of you go, girl?” He asks curiously.

Guilliman’s eyes go wide, “Leman, have some tackt-” he snaps softly, but Wren chuckles a bit. No one every even acknowledges her differences, let alone so boldly. It is always your condition and because of, well, you know.

"Long gone, I’m afraid.” She says with a small smile. “But I assure you I can work just fine with one eye and a bionic leg.”

Guilliman looks embarrassed, but Leman grins his sharp toothed smile at her. “Hah, well I’ll get a story out of you yet girl. No one loses and eye and a leg and walks away without a tale to tell.”

He hops up from his chair and walks over to her, standing close enough it forces her to crane her neck up. He looks her over, walking in circles around her and making her purse her lips nervously at the inspection.

“Any more of you missing?” He asks, bending down to look at her closer.

She raises her brow. “Uh- a kidney? On the left side, but otherwise no just the eye and leg…” she replies, stepping back a step as he gets close to her face.

He hmphs, then sniffs her, making her blush a bit.

Guilliman sighs. “Leman, she’s only here on a trial, please pretend to be civil for 5 minutes…?” He says, gently pulling Wren back toward himself by her shoulders.

Russ huffed through his nose. “What? I can’t smell her? You can tell a lot by someone’s smell.” He grumbled. “My sons will sniff her too, she may as well get used to it…”

Guilliman and Wren made a mirrored uncomfortable look, and Russ rolled his eyes. ”Fine fine. Tell me, thrall, can you fight still?” He asks, quirking his head to the side again.

Guilliman frowns. “She is here to help you file paperwork and make meetings, Leman.” He says sternly.

Russ frowns, furrowing his brow. “Well she obviously fought at some point- it is important to me that this secretary thing can follow me in dangerous places.”

Wren purses her lips. “I can fight, if needed. Not so well with shooting anymore, what with the eye, but, I can defend myself with melee and I can flee.” She says nervously.

He seems satisfied with that, smiling and giving a nod. “Good. We will get you back up in proper fighting shape so you do not get killed the second something looks at you.”

Guilliman sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Remember, this is a trial, Leman. If you scare her off I’ll take her home.”

Russ scoffs, “If she is scared off, she would make a poor assistant to me.” He grins and claps her on the shoulder, making her leg whine mechanically as she stumbled a little from it. “You look sturdy, though, even for a female so small. Humans do not get that amount of scars from twiddling their thumbs.” He turns on his heel, heading for the door. “Come, paper-thrall, I have duties to attend.”

Guilliman lets out a tired sigh, then pats her back gently. “Thank you again, Wren. I’m always a messenger away, if anything happens and you want to return early, you need only ask.” He says gently. She smiles nervously, giving him a nod, before Leman calls again.

“Thrall! Come! I shall not wait for your tiny legs!”

She stiffens and scrambles out the door.

[sincebrooklyns]

★ word on the street with ANGELA FINDLAY ★

first up, roll call: your position at eden and how long have you done it?

"my name is angela, close friends call me ang, and if you're 6'2 and sexy you can call me tonight. make sure you pan in on that wink. i've had the pleasure of working at eden for about six years now. very much second home, second family vibes. but of course, the home is an amazing club and all of my family members are all really hot. — yeah, i had to think about that one for a second too. that's okay. we're movin' right along. i am, to put things simply, the bitch that runs this bitch. i do a little bit of everything, i feel like i'm everybody's go-to girl, and i love it. eden is amazing. i wouldn't want to be doing anything else.

what’s your drink of choice to make for yourself or others? 

 "i'm actually not much of a mixed drink girl. i like to shoot things straight, i like beer and i like claws if we're doin' a little day drinking. the guys at the bar teach me how to make shots all the time though, they're very good at what they do. i'm talking cool looking ones with, like, color gradients and glitter. they're like scientists almost. super duper sexy, scientific things are happening over there."

we’re passing you the aux. what’s your number one club classic?

"deep in my heart and soul, its gotta be something like dancing queen — no, gimme! gimme! gimme!, and there's a light up floor and a mirrorball. and i'd have, like, a massive bush and wear the hair on my head in big beautiful curls every night. here on the physical plane, though, i'd have to think about it. maybe don't tell 'em. or that one that's like ayoooo. something that gets the hips loose, hands up. if the hands are up, you're havin' fun."

what’s your most iconic night out memory?

"one night, this guy i was seeing was supposed to come over but ended up telling me he had a thing. i don't even remember what he told me. it was bogus anyway. , i end up seeing him out with another girl. i confront him, 'cause i'm an aries moon, then me and the girl became fast friends. we danced the night away together. we got mcdonalds and matching star tattoos on our hips. we still follow each other on instagram, i think, too."

what’s your craziest rideshare story?

"okay, so, there was some slight hand stuff that did occur in a lyft once, but i won't say more than that. i got enough hate across all of my group chats to know better. i was under the impression us gals were supposed to support women's rights and wrongs."

what’s your typical fast food order after the clubs close?

"very good question. anywhere. i switch it up all the time. variety is the spice of life! my friend joe doyle — have you guys done joe yet? he owes me food 'cause of a bet we made about sales tonight, so i'll probably make him take me to the loaded fries truck. he has their app so he's always able to track them down. it's the primary reason i keep him around."

you ready to kick this interview up a notch?

"i'm enticed."

truth or dare?

"fun! i'm down for a dare but i won't show you my boobs. i can't. i'm actually on the clock right now."

return the last missed call in your call log right now.

"my only hard no was boobs and you chose to throw me this softball? let's see who we're callin'. oh! it's phoebe. and eli was a minute before her. i got missed calls from both, which is typically how it happens. they've always got questions, my little baby girls. they're my proteges. i'll call pheebs back, but she's on tonight so she won't answer. i tell them to keep their phones in their work lockers, 'cause it's a bad look for all us girls to be on our phones all the time. it's a bit of a "do as i say, no"t as i do" situation but they look up to me, so they listen." [phoebe: "hello?"]

[oidheadh-con-culainn]

I just got to reading a translation of "The wooing of Emer" online. Why is no-one (especially the online encyclopedias) talking about the fact Emer is fomorian?

why aren't the online encyclopaedias talking about it: bc they are not that useful for medieval irish literature most of the time, tbh, being heavily simplified and reliant on secondary sources that are often themselves not particularly reliable (although there have been efforts to improve some pages inc. wikipedia pages). loads of fun details missing from them, always

why isn't anyone else talking about it: eh. probably two main reasons

there's a lot of it around. cú chulainn's got a fomorian grandma (on lug's side) and no one ever really talks about that either. it's not that big a deal. i'm sure he's not the only one; can't throw a rock around here without hitting someone with a fomorian uncle or something. there's a lot more overlap / interaction between them and the tuatha dé danann than a simple oppositional binary would suggest, and family trees get fucky in general. being related to the fomoire doesn't automatically = being fomorian yourself bc belonging and kin-groups and stuff are a bit more complicated than that

i'm pretty sure it's only mentioned in tochmarc emire and only in passing and not directly in relation to emer herself, so it's easily overlooked even if you're dealing with that text and a lot of people will be dealing with other texts. it's also only in the later, longer redaction of the text and not in the earliest one, although so are a lot of things. if the authors thought it was important as part of her heritage -- whether they saw it as a good or a bad thing -- they would bring it up more often, but TE seems to be the only one that bothers to give background information about forgall's family tree, so mostly it looks like they think it's not that relevant. (although as it is not a particular focus of mine, it's entirely possible it comes up somewhere else and i just haven't noticed)

e.g. you might expect it to come up in fled bricrenn but it doesn't

sidenote: why the fuck henderson translations "ben ind fir as dech" as "wife of the best wight" i have no idea. it's just "fer"! it's just man! why are you trying to make cú chulainn sound even weirder than usual! it's a mystery to me. other than the fact it's from 1899 and people did whatever they wanted at that point tbh

(the parenthetical explaining the meaning of "Manach" is also editorial and not in the Irish; the meaning "tricky" may be more suitable bc it might have something to do with clessa, but that's getting into my friend emmet's in-progress research so i won't delve deeper there)

also, tethra, who is supposedly forgall's uncle in TE and who is described in the text as a "king of the fomoire" is a bit of a weird one iirc and there's potentially more going on with him than that phrasing suggests, although i can't remember the details and that's getting into cath maige tuired territory, at which point you're better off asking @margridarnauds bc it's not a topic i know a huge amount about

finally i'll be honest another factor is probably that there hasn't been a huge amount written about emer as a character. there's been a lot written about texts that she's in and her function there, but less on her just like, as a person (bc medieval celtic studies is a very small field, there are a lot of texts and characters, and there hasn't been that much written about anyone really). so lots of things don't get talked about. doesn't mean they're not worth talking about. just means nobody's got around to it yet.

[anheliotrope]

So here's my WR run. It's uncommented so frankly it's kind of boring. I'm going to use this post instead to babble about my Journey.

Hero Beggining

I started out because I saw Nitram and Ramisme doing a DXRando race on YouTube and I thought it was the coolest shit ever.

I've missed the train on a lot of online activities in the past. There are more communities and gaming eras I missed out on than I can count. Largely due to EF or lack of knowledge or just... passivity. I decided I can't let another one just slide past me, so I joined.

The community was very encouraging and after doing my first run at 3h12m I was thinking... damn this shit is exhausting and I can't imagine ever being as good as Ramisme or Nitram!!

3h-2h30m

I kept going though. I didn't want or need to be the best. I was enjoying myself and knew there was a lot of room to improve. By the time I got down to 2h30m I realized I could beat the time of the head developer of the mod. I found the idea very appealing for whatever reason and made it my target.

Feeling like I had so much room to improve and entering this iterative process was amazing. Not a lot of games give you that. You often progress through games and you often add more layers of complexity, but it's actually quite rare for an experience to be centered so much around self-improvement and doing better. It's even rarer that you actually feel that improvement pretty much constantly. I can get significantly better at Starcraft 2, or AoE2, or MOBA, but thanks to EloGPT I'm generally not going to feel it as much. And there's so much stupid bullshit those games throw at you that it often distracts you from being an effective improooover.

2h30m-1h50m

Once I got close to 2h, improving at the game became easier because it took less time to get a complete run. The iterative process became even smoother now. Every run had a dozen low hanging fruits I could get better and better at picking up.

This is where I became better than the devs, which was quite satisfying. Of course, they spent most of their time actually making the game, but I'd take anything I could get! This was still in the range of "any dedicated gamer could probably get this".

Also towards the end of this segment I had memorized all the goal locations (which are exhaustively listed on the wiki and can be seen via an in-game feature too!) and most of the important datacubes. A significant chunk of annoying busywork was now finished and I could focus on the fun stuff.

I would say that 2h10m to 1h40m was the most enjoyable segment overall. It had an ideal balance of exploration and optimization, of enjoyment and tryharding.

1h50m-1h30m

Once I hit 1h50m I was getting closer to the top two runners, but I still thought that there's probably no way I can ever beat them. After all, they'd pump out 1h30m runs on average.

I thought I could at least get to 1h30m. You know, my best could be as good as their average, right? So I made my way there. This segment was weird and still very enjoyable. The weirdness comes from running out of low hanging fruit and having to shift approach gradually.

Getting closer to 1h30m is where a lot of tricks become more relevant. You unlock a plethora of them because earlier it wasn't worth doing them. Saving half a minute when your total time is 2h is nothing, especially since you have more important things to improve on. As you go below 2h, this changes.

You learn how to jump over laser tripwires, where to use thermoptic camo to phase through said tripwires, places to jump to avoid triggers. You learn you can shoot the LAW through solid walls because it spawns the rocket a bit in front of the player model. You learn how to quickly fall down ladders and catch yourself at the last moment. You learn you can go down one path in the game, memorize or write down a code, then load the game so you don't need to spend time backtracking. You learn you can shoot weapons while in water if you emerge from the water in a specific way and shoot at the right time. You learn you can destroy the generator by throwing a LAM in a completely different room because the generator is part of a family of objects in the engine that don't do LOS checks for explosions.

Some of the tricks are annoying to do, others feel good to have in your belt. Overall, the game is mercifully sparse on heavy micro tricks. The developers intentionally made the speed+jump aug cost 1 energy when you activate it, to avoid creating a meta where you activate the aug, jump, deactivate, activate on land, jump again -- this would reduce your energy cost to 0 and make you almost as fast as using the aug the regular way. We lucked out that the base game isn't very micro-exploitable and the devs took decisions to minimize that as well. I really really liked this because it allowed me to focus on the things that felt meaningful in the game.

Race Interlude

At some point I participated in my first race. Just a while ago I was admiring Nitram and Ramisme as shiny gods in that YouTube video of their race. And now I'm racing alongside them! The race was exhilarating and humiliating. I ended up over 10m behind them, which looks really bad when all the video feeds are playing side by side. But I did not regret it and for at least half an hour it looked like I could have kept pace.

1h30m-1h20m

I went back to focusing on speedrunning rather than races. I had joined to do races, but I was hooked on getting closer to the WR. I wanted to see how close I could get. For races you needed to find people to do them with and there was some pressure to broadcast them on Twitch, which made speedrunning the easier activity to reach for.

My behaviour became more competitive and a bit degenerative, but the way I approached it was highly effective. I would quit very eagerly the moment I made a major mistake or knew that the current seed wasn't good enough.

I was told I shouldn't do that because I'll never learn later levels or never learn how to recover from a mistake. This is true, but irrelevant for winning the world record. My goal was to not make mistakes on an ideal seed. As I got closer to the WR, this behaviour intensified.

It made my early game much better than my late game for sure, but that's fine, because the early game is simply more impactful. The pace you establish, the resources you get or miss, these things set the tone for the rest of the game.

This is also where frustration started mounting and managing my emotional state became an actual thing.

The truth is that resetting seeds a lot was the most unfun part of the experience. I developed a whole list of heuristics to decide when to reset a seed. My criteria was brutal compared to the other runners.

Because they would often by streaming, there was probably some social pressure to not reset too much. Since I wasn't streaming most of the time, I felt no such pressure. But yes, there was a part of the game that was hella grindy.

No aug upgrade can in mission 2? Restart. Boat is at Filben's? Restart. No biocells found in UNATCO? Restart. Bad Plasma? Hmm. Bad Plasma and no GEP Gun? Restart. etc.

My approach worked.

This is also where I complained to the devs a lot to try to change the game in ways that will reduce the incentives for resetting early. But the problem is fundamentally unsolvable on a game design level and I can maybe get into why in a different post.

1h20m-WR

Once I got to 1h20m and maybe a bit before that, my attitude changed even more. I had gone from "WR is not something I should even try" to "maybe I could get WR some day" to "it is only a matter of time until I get WR. I'm better at this."

I was overplaying and the grind was a drain. My high level of confidence actually made finding a good seed frustrating. And sometimes when I found an amazing seed, I'd still fuck it up and the level of pain this would generate was immense and maybe a bit delectable. Conversely, managing to improve at this point felt rather momentous.

I was definitely playing more than was optimal for improvement and for enjoyment. There are a lot of activities I've suddenly lost interest in over the course of my life. Never gaming as a whole, but I've definitely had moments where, in a couple of days, I went from really wanting to play a game to not wanting to play it at all. I was terrified this might happen. Or that somehow the community would fall apart or disappear. I wanted to ride this experience for all it was worth now, not later. I didn't want to have another "I wonder what would have been" entry in my life.

When I was on my WR run, I was sleep deprived and somewhat dispirited. I was feeling like the seed is probably not good enough and that I've made way too many mistakes. It was the last run of the day, it was well past midnight.

I had a near WR run where my hands were shaking at the end, something I get rarely. I had a bit of that during the WR run too -- it was caused by getting a lucky break that elevated the run from "hmm probably not good enough" to "oh god, I HAVE to perform now. I CAN'T waste this."

And I didn't waste it! I got the WR! I already don't even remember the feeling well all that well. Being so sleep deprived didn't help. It felt somewhat surreal. I'm not the most emotionally reactive person, but I was definitely happy. I was happy the next day. And the day after. Then I started getting the "oh shit what now" feeling. Which is why it took me so long to even talk about this here.

Closing Remarks

In retrospect, I really wish I could redo my journey before hitting 1h30m or so. It was the most fun I've had in a long time. But you can kind of only do that once. A "you can play Dark Souls the first time only once" sort of thing. Which is why I'd really like to see more people playing, but this is a pretty niche activity.

Because of the grind of resetting runs and finding good seeds, I don't think I will ever target WR like that again. I think speedrun races, where players play the same seed with no advance knowledge are strictly superior. They can be done async provided the runners trust each other. They are a fundamentally healthier and more sustainable way of approaching the game. WR speedrunning gets less fun the more optimized the WR is.

Additionally competing for WR is something only a few people can do. Doing speedrun races is something anyone can do provided they find at least one opponent of a similar skill level. It's an underappreciated and esoteric way of gaming, but it's good!

Speedrung DXRando was a valuable experience and I'm not sure that I could have gotten it from any other game. DXRando is lighting in a bottle! The way you iteratively improve at the game can be likened to Hades or maybe Binding of Isaac in some sense, maybe? The difference is that the former two are roguelite and their action component is entirely different from DXRando. Additionally their time pressure component is highly optional, the game isn't built around it.

DXRando is a very unlikely game to exist. It's very unlikely any gamedevs will make a game that is anywhere similar to DXRando at all in terms of gameplay. It's basically a high time pressure roguelike FPS/RPG. It's possible that for a decade or even my remaining life, I won't see this kind of gaming experience replicated.

The high time pressure part is so important. I cannot overstate how important it is. Deus Ex is a game that is incredibly easy once you have advance knowledge of it. There just isn't that much skill to defeating the AI.

You can wrack your brain trying to think how to fix this from a game design perspective. Imagine you could mod the game however you wanted -- what do you even do so that veteran players still feel engaged? Or even just players that are good at this type of game? You can add more exploration, that always works. But adding things to explore is one of the most costly approaches in terms of game development. It takes a team 8 years to make a new campaign for Deus Ex which I finish in 15-40 hours of gameplay.

Time pressure however solves it extremely well. People tend to hate time pressure, but I think it is severely underexploited. It can turn trivial encounters into harder ones without needing to make the game more complex. It's a niche but very valuable game design tool which is often ignored, frankly for good reason, but in this case it reinvigorated and transfigured a game that I thought had permanently dried out for me in terms of enjoyment.

Maybe something similar already to DXRando already exists out there and I'm ignorant of it. I'm pretty ignorant of most randomizer content. A lot of randomizer stuff comes off as silly. Even DXRando has a very funny memey picture of JC Denton associated to it. But the gameplay value is way beyond that of funny hijinks.

[isa-ghost]

I'm a relatively new crow (only started watching Phil (or any streamers lol) during Purgatory), and I wanted to get your opinion on something, as someone who's been here for longer:

Since it looks like Phil probably won't really be part of qsmp anymore, what's the likelihood of/how long will it probably take for Phil to join another multiplayer server? Like, don't get me wrong, I wasn't just here for qsmp, I love hardcore and other stuff too, I'm here for the long haul, but... I really liked Phil's roleplay, and just watching him play Minecraft with other people was a lot of fun, and I'm not sure if I should be anticipating more of that in the future, or just accept that that's probably over. Because the impression that I get is that osmp was already around when dsmp ended, and Phil was already a part of qsmp when osmp finally bit the dust, but there isn't really anything like that right now so I'm not sure what to expect and was wondering if you had any thoughts on the matter

Feel free to ignore this if you don't want to answer, though

No, this is a totally valid question dw!!

I don't have the most solid answer though, it basically depends on if a) he's invited to an smp or b) if someone close enough to him makes one he's interested in.

But good news! Fit said not too long ago he had an smp idea cooking, and I bet Phil (and loads of other qsmp/ex qsmp members) would be invited in a heartbeat. Keep in mind, none of this is confirmed, it's all Maybes at the moment. But if Fit finishes with qsmp and says fuck it we ball? Then we ball. 😎

I WILL say, in general, we don't have to worry about the end of Phil roleplaying, that's for sure!! He'd gotten a start in dsmp, gotten a small taste and a lil more comfortable in osmp, and got HOOKED in qsmp. He's invested, he's obsessed. He loves killing us too much and loves writing stories too much.

Even if it's months from now, something will come up and he'll give us another old ass emotionally devastating bird man to love and cherish. <3

And I know so many people who have a high chance of being there with him and so many of them are just as likely to lock the fuck in and pop off in rp. *prays for another smp with Phil and Sneeg together*

I can say for sure, I don't miss a single Phil stream. If he says anything about joining something new, I'll be one of the first screaming about it. :)

[normalflying]

First, please forgive me if the format of this post is sloppy. I'm posting this at 4am, I'm on mobile and made this sideblog 10 minutes ago.

Second, the shorthand of this post—I miss roleplay and would love to find a long-term rp partner. However, I'm chatty, so under this here read-more will be loads of information about me, my rp preferences, and other exciting Praise Birdguy details!

Thanks for clicking my link! My name is Praise and I really miss rp! I'd been consistently roleplaying since I was 10 on forum sites, then moved to tumblr rp rings and skype, and had a set rp partner for a long while until we lost touch. Now I'm 21, haven't roleplayed in several years, and really, really miss it. ;_;

I just don't know how to find partners like I used to!! Despite it all, tumblr was a roleplay hub for me for a huge chunk of my life. Thus, I brought my humble hunt here. 🙏🙏

✨

A few writing preferences:

- You must be 18+.

- I can write semi-lit to literate–I prefer the latter, though I am a bit rusty.

- I'll happily write any kind of slash (mxf, fxf, mxm) and never mind doubling up.

- Fandom rp is my forte, but I'd be happy to develop some OCs with you!

- A couple of my favorite fandoms, ones I'd really like to write for right now, are Pokémon (the human characters) and Mahoyaku!

- Discord is my preferred platform for writing. I can make a server for us.

- It's not a necessity I suppose, but I'd really love a long-term rp partner. That does require some chemistry! Want to make sure we click? Never fret. The entire rest of this post will now be fun facts about me.

✨

I'm in CST and a college student. Super social, I'll talk your head off (if you can't tell by me writing hundreds of words in this post entirely to myself). My pronouns are he/him and I'm trans. I love storytelling in games, I love world building, and I adore anything character centric. I'm a big shipper, so if you need somebody to be into literally any pairing, I'm there.

~

I have morals and will not rp anything pedophilic or incestuous. However, beyond those hopefully normal drawn lines, I'm lax! I'd love to establish boundaries with anybody writing with me so we know what's up.

Nsfw/smut is not a requirement, but I'm completely open to it! I can just be a bit shy so you'll have to hype me up or I'll tremble in fear and fall over dead like a prey animal.

~

PKMN and MHYK are my top preferences, but I'm also into plenty of other things: TLOZ, CSM, COE, etc etc. I really value being invested in the same stuff as my rp partner, though–if you're interested in something I know, I'll help you get into it! If you have something you think I'd like, bring me there!

You can probably tell by all this that i'm more drawn to animation/game franchises, which is completely true, but it's okay if you prefer live action series! If we have a lot in common, we'll definitely work something out.

Even more specific takes: I'm big into Legends Arceus right now. I'd roleplay a piece of Hisuian dirt if it meant we could talk about it. But I love all of the mainline games and a handful of characters from each! I'm a Mahoyaku oldhead, so I will teach you the ways of us old fans–Anything Faust or Eastern country adjacent I'll eat up like I'm starved. I love Southern country too, all the teachers... frankly, I love everything about mhyk and would talk/write about anybody in the series.

I mentioned I'd be willing to develop OCs, too! I already have plenty, but I'd prefer to use a fresh slate, that way we can build a unique world around our guys. I love making full casts of characters but would be plenty satisfied with just a pairing, too.

✨

Really, I don't want someone who's just an rp partner. I'd love to make a friend! An important part of the writing process for me has always been a bond. Let's talk about our interests and such outside of long, fictional paragraphs, too.

It's okay if we chat and don't end up meshing in terms of art and interests! I will never, ever harbor hard feelings for you if that's the case! Shoot, even if we find out we're not great writing partners, I'd be happy to spend our time yapping outside of rp.

If you think we'd get on, send me an ask, a message, like this post, anything! I'll give you my discord 🫶 Please remember it's been a little while since I've tried dipping back into roleplay, go easy on me!

Goodnight! 💤

✨ Edited last on 1/17/24.

[osleeplessflowero]

hi!! i JUST finished reading your cowboy!stretch x reader oneshot on ao3 and i absolutely loved it, would you mind making a continuation of it? probably with them riding a horse. thank you so much for writing that i love it so much!!! :D

// HII omg!! I'm so happy you liked the oneshot, that one was super fun to write! I'd be more than happy to write a continuation. Hopefully I do your request justice! (Especially considering it's my first one!!)

🧡You can find the first oneshot Here. :)🧡

❤️ Reader has They/Them pronouns, and their SOUL type is up to you! 🧡 Country AU! Cowboy skeletons my beloved.. 💛 This takes place in a Crossover universe, so common fandom nicknames will be used!

It's been a few weeks since you met that dashing skeleton, Stretch, at Grillby's. After taking a few days, you worked your hardest and finally managed to fix up that old barn. Now she looks good as new, and you..need to find something else to do.

You sit in your house, kicking your legs back and forth as you lie on your stomach on your couch. Some random show plays on the tv in front of it you recognize, but you're not really focusing on it since you're facing your left scrolling through your phone. Nothing really sticks out to you, searching for something of interest before you see a little notification pop down from someone. You miss it the first time, pulling down the top of your screen and realizing it's from Stretch.

You sit up abruptly on your knees, shifting to face the tv and letting your legs rest on the wood floor. It's always nice to see what he's up to.

honey enthusiast🍯 - now -> heya, what are you up to?

You - now <- nothing much, just watching tv and dying of boredom lol ive got nothing to do now that the barns all fixed

honey enthusiast🍯 - now -> you could come over to me and my bro's place, it's just us here today

You - now <- rsally? *really?

honey enthusiast🍯 - now -> rsally

You - now <- stfu

honey enthusiast🍯 - now -> lmaoo but yeah im fr could show you the animals and stuff

You - now <- bet uh idk where you live tho

honey enthusiast🍯 - now -> i'll send you the location or i could just come get u if u want

You - now <- i think ill drive there i wanna remember the way in case i come over again :)

honey enthusiast🍯 - now -> alr sounds good to me lol i'll wait at the front gate for you sent attachment

You hop up from your seat on the couch, petting one of your dogs who'd decided to lie down in front of the couch and walking into your room to change.

"Okay, he..he lives on a ranch?? Well, I guess I should've gotten that from the cowboy getup, huh? I should probably wear somethin' I'm okay with gettin' dirty.." You browse through your closet, picking out some casual clothes that'll keep you cool and comfortable in the summer heat.

"Time to go." You walk out of your room, playing some music from the stereo in your living room and giving your dogs some pets before bidding them goodbye. You walk out to your truck and climb inside, turning the key and beginning to drive to the location you set your GPS to. A few familiar songs play while you make your way down several sets of roads. You promptly bop your head to them, lip syncing some of the words.

You knew you were at the right place the moment you saw it. The house was huge based on what you could see from the gate as you drove up to it, plenty of land surrounding it with fences up to keep any unwanted visitors out. You see a familiar shade of orange pop up as the skeleton opens the gate, walking over to your window and leaning his arms on it.

"howdy. glad you could make it, didn't get lost did you?" "Nope, got here a-okay. This place is massive- are you guys loaded or something?" You ask, flabbergasted. He chuckles at that, looking back at the house. "well, it just kinda happened when we exchanged monster currency for human currency. so I guess you could say we are." "Jesus." "you can go ahead and pull up wherever, it doesn't matter." He stands on the step just below your door, holding on. You smile at the action, driving further in and parking in a spot next to someone else's car.

He jumps down onto the ground and lets you get out, closing the door behind yourself and locking it before jumping down too.

You hear a faint "Hello!" in the distance as someone runs over, grinning wide. A skeleton, a pretty large one at that yet shorter than Stretch. His attire is pretty similar to the former, only his is buttoned up much more neatly and is blue rather than orange. Stretch's top button is currently loose, exposing a little bit of his sternum. You also notice how the two stick to one color scheme, Stretch sticking with orange and this one sticking to blue specifically.

"you're in luck, they just got here." "Yes, I'm Not Late! Hello, There! I'm Stretch's Brother, Blue. We Live Together Close To Some Of Our Friends." "It's nice to meet you, Blue. I'm.." You tell him your name, and the two of you chat about this and that before Stretch steals you away to show you around. You both walk around different parts of the ranch before you decide to go and visit the animals, saying hello to each of them promptly.

"You have so many horses-" "like. ten of them." "JESUS-" You pause, looking towards one, before turning back to him with a smile.

"..what?" He raises a brow, smiling as well with crossed arms as he observes you. "..Can we ride one?" "..you want to ride one?" "Yes- please-" "i mean, yeah, i don't see why not. though, we'd probably have to ride together. are you okay with that? if not, i can figure something out." "I'm okay with that. Won't bother me." "alright, just gimme a sec."

You wait patiently as he goes to get a proper saddle, walking over to a few horses and letting them smell your hands so they know to trust you. One in particular takes a liking to you, a black horse with a stripe of white from its muzzle to its forehead. It nuzzles its nose against the side of your head until Stretch returns, smiling as he walks over.

"somebody's attached. no, you can't bring the horse home with you." "Aww-" You fake pout, before smiling and gently petting its head. "but, you can come back to visit." "You bet I will." A determined look crosses your face. "you wanna ride this one?" He points with his thumb. "Yes- if they are okay with that, of course."

He nods, and after a few seconds the horse is saddled and ready to go.

"so, you're gonna have to sit in front of me. is that alright?" "Yeah, that's fine." "alright, cool."

He helps you get up onto the horse first. It's a bit of a strange sensation at first, but you gradually get used to it. He then climbs up and sits comfortably behind you and the saddle, gently taking hold of the reins. Feeling his arms around your waist has you feeling a bit flushed, your face heating up a bit as you hope he doesn't notice.

"comfortable?" He speaks calmly so as to not spook the horse, his head just above your shoulder. A shiver goes down your spine accompanied by an anxious smile. "Y- ..Yeah, I'm all good." You mutter, cursing yourself internally for stuttering as you hear him chuckle behind you. You don't realize at first when the horse starts to move before you snap out of a daze, looking ahead with a smile.

You feel..safe with his arms around you, even as you're very flushed. You can just blame it on the heat if he asks. What you don't know, however, is that he seems to be fairly flushed himself..a bright shade of orange lightly making its way over his cheekbones. He keeps his lazy smile as he looks over you, making sure you're alright and comfortable.

Blue has a cheeky grin as he watches you both ride around the field, leaning his arms on one of the fences.

His hold on your waist tightens a little when the horse picks up its speed, causing your face to heat up even more before that feeling is overcome by excitement. You cheer as it runs, carrying you both around.

This continues for a little while before both the two of you and the horse become tired. Stretch slides off and helps you jump down, guiding the horse back to where it can rest.

"That was fun! I wouldn't mind doing it again." "..maybe you can, next time you come over." "Yeah." You avert your eyes, your face admittedly still a little flushed. You can't fully bring yourself to meet his gaze until he reaches up to get some grass out of your hair.

"i wouldn't mind." He smirks, his eyes relaxed as he looks at you. You clear your throat. "Yeah, uh..looking forward to it." You smile in return as Blue walks over to greet you both.

"Why Don't You Guys Come Inside? I'd Love For You To Stay For Dinner. We Can Talk More!" He suggests with a friendly smile. You look over briefly at Stretch for a moment before turning back to him.

"Yeah, I'm cool with that. I'd better get home before dark, though. I've got dogs waiting at home for me." "you have dogs?" Stretch perks up, curious. "Yeah, two." "i wanna pet 'em-" "Well, maybe you can visit me next."

He grins as Blue guides you both inside, gently closing the door behind him.

Part 3? Ao3 Link:

[enchanted-teaforest]

"You Made It Weird" — A Rambling, Rambunctious Boundary PSA

Here we go again.. 🙄

I know I come off as bubbly, social, flirty, and silly. I get it. I’m fun. I’m magnetic. People like talking to me—and they get hurt or confused when I don’t want to talk back, hang out, or give them more of my time. Some think I’m fake or selfish. But the truth is… it’s kind of the opposite.

I do like people. I love experiences. I’m curious. I like going out, seeing live music, wandering museums, being spontaneous. I’m not an introvert, and I’m not an extrovert. I just enjoy life—and I’m very selective about who I let into mine.

When I come home after being social, I don’t want more connection. I want my peace. I want to read about animal coloration, rebuild old LEGO sets, reorganize my sticker journal, work out, play dolls, or dance around my kitchen like I’m starring in my own music video. I treasure my alone time like it’s a survival kit. And I’m happy being alone if that’s at the movies or at playing at home.

But sometimes, yeah—I feel lonely. Not the kind of lonely that means I want company. The kind that means I want to feel soft. I want to feel held and safe place to be my little self. I want to let the pressure of “being strong and mature” fall off me for a little while. When I say I’m lonely, I’m not saying I want you. I’m saying I miss softness I miss not masking. There’s a big difference.

Let me make something really clear: just because I’m hypersexual, doesn’t mean I want you.

It doesn’t mean I’m available. It doesn’t mean I’m inviting dirty messages. It doesn’t mean I'm into you just because I’m nice, or because I ask about your life, or because I post about longing. This place—this blog—is an outlet. I say unhinged things here because I’m working through stuff, not because I want to act on it with strangers in my inbox. (Annoyed I have to say this again.)

And please, for the love of god: don’t make it weird. Don’t take my kindness or my curiosity as some sign that I want to jump into a romantic or sexual connection. Just appreciate the moment we had. Be grateful for the version of me you got to meet.

If I don’t talk to you anymore, it’s not because you’re a bad person. I don’t interact at all with people I think are bad. It just means I don’t have the bandwidth to give you anything right now—and that has to be okay.

I’m someone with very little space in my life for emotional demands. If you’re one of the rare people I stay close with, then yeah—feel special. If you're not, it doesn’t mean I hate you. It just means I don’t have the space. It might sting, but it’s the truth.

And—for the love of all things—stop asking me “How was your day?” I can’t stand that question. It immediately makes me shut off. I don’t know why, but it just makes something in me recoil. Maybe it’s because it’s too vague. Too emotionally loaded. Too… default. Usually, my day wasn’t amazing. I mean, unfortunately I am an adult like everyone else—unless I’m on vacation or something special’s happening, my day probably sucked a little. That doesn’t mean I won’t find the good in it. I always find the good. I’m that person. But if you really want to connect with me, ask me something real. Something small. Something specific. 
Did I see something weird or funny today?
What are you building? What am I listening to currently or did I hear a new song I liked? Or what animal am I focused on right now.
Those are the things that open me up.

“How was your day?” just shuts the door. It makes me think of the sucky parts and I feel as if I have to answer it honesty. It feels lazy, even if you mean it kindly. It’s like the conversational equivalent of putting a spotlight on me and expecting a performance. And it demands an answer I’m avoidant enough that I’d rather disappear than answer it.

Yes, I’m selfish. Yes, I’m learning. Yes, I’m growing. Yes, I like sex. No, I don’t want to have sex with you.No, you can’t message me every time I post something about longing. Yes, I care. No, I don’t want to be your therapist. Yes, I’m sweet. No, I don’t want to hear “how was your day?” when I clearly don’t want to talk.

And if you're reading this and thinking “is this about me?”
…then maybe it is.
And if you’re one of the ones who really gets me?Skip this post. You already knew.

If I’ve told you more than once that I need space and you still push, guilt-trip, or pop up uninvited, make blatant sexual requests, or try to degrade me- you made it weird. Once you make it weird, I’m out.

And if I give you my energy, just know it’s because you have touched me deeply. Saying that makes me laugh like Beavis and Butthead. Heh heh… touched me… anyways

Also, and let’s be real for a second:
Nothing you say or do is going to make me suck your dick.
Yeah, I post about longing and I’m orally fixated. Yeah, I write about the unhinged depths of my desire. But that doesn’t mean it’s an invitation. I’ve been celibate for almost a year now. Crazy right?? Surprised I’m not dead honestly. Yeah, I get desires but not for you and I will end the interaction before I put myself in a situation where I’ll make bad choices. It’s like how you don’t see many alcoholics at a bar.

Just because I want doesn’t mean I’m going to act. Just because I’m kind doesn’t mean I want you. Just because I’m curious doesn’t mean you’re invited.

I still I love hearing wild stories. As long as they don’t end with you being sexual with me, I still like to hear it. I still like to watch it. I just don’t want to be involved in it. Tell me weird things. Tell me what made you laugh today. But don’t try to turn it into a gateway for flirting, or emotional labor, or projecting your own fantasy. I’m not here for that.

Everyone seems to come out of the woodwork this time of year, and it always plays out the same. If I made it hard for you to find or contact me, that’s not a challenge. It’s a sign. Respect it. If we had a connection and I haven’t added you back, I don’t want to. That doesn’t mean you’re bad—it just means I don’t have room. And if you feel rejected, then I get it. Move on. Let it go.

To the ones I still talk to—thank you. Thank you for getting me. Thank you for never making me feel guilty. Thank you for knowing that when I disappear, it’s not because I don’t care for you—it’s because I need to float a while. Thank you for asking me more in-depth questions and keeping my curiosity alive, instead of the same tired script. Thank you for letting me be avoidant and messy and weird and still believing I’m worth something.

If you made it this far… good job. This post isn’t for everyone.
Just the ones who don’t make it weird. Stay in your lane.

Maybe I’m a bitch now or maybe I’m conceited but here we are again with it needing to be said to multiple people. I’m getting better at boundaries and I’m proud of myself for that. I feel like it’s groundhogs day each time I write something like this.

[natsaffection]

Now, 🦖. No need to be shy if a discord server is created, I'll make sure everyone feels safe there and YES, I'd totally throw my angry mushrooms at anyone who judges you! Speaking of that... author (please give me a nickname I could call you other than author), could you please steal a rocket launcher for me so I can load it with my angry mushrooms? I've got good aim with my hands but a rocket launcher just seems way more fun to use against mean people 😎 Oh and 🦖, for physics, you should totally tried mind-mapping! Not writing definitions and formulas on one paper or tablet because this would be just a waist of time. If you have to understand a formula, write it down and draw something that represents each part of it. It helps you not just memorize it but actually understand why it works. Always ask yourself: why is this part connected to that part? How do they interact? What's similar and different? I always tell people that they should see this like a staircase: Floor 1 = the basics like the general idea of the subject Floor 2 = more detailed stuff Floor 3 = the hard content You can't get to floor 3 without understanding floors 1 and 2 because trying to jump straight to the hard content without a solid base will just overwhelm you and discourage you. You have to build your stairs step by step and you'll be fine :) You've got this! Also, you seem super fun too so now you're kinda making me want to buy a Switch just so I could play Mario Kart with you. Oh and I did the personality test and I'm an INFP-T (mediator).. so is that what you'd have guessed for me, sweetie? (now that I know you have a weakness for pet names, I just want to tease you with that sorry not sorry) And I'm sorry 🧸 but I laughed when I read how you broke your arm like I can't help but imagine you scolding a patient and then breaking your arm 20s later hahaha! Hope your recovery will be fine tho :) And sorry but your eyes?? freaking gorgeous and I'm a bit jealous here cuz I think we have like the same eyes color like blue and grey but damn yours look much better than mine 👀 And thank you 🧸 for the offer of venting to you. I'm probably going to vent here at some point but I have to disappear again for a few days or weeks so I'm not gonna do that now :/ I just came here today so I wouldn't feel too much overwhelmed with all the posts I've missed! - 🍄

Wow, thank you for sharing! 🫶🏼

And I’d love to see you throw things in game. Maybe we’re getting to it, thanks to 🥋!

And a nickname? Uff…well, 🧸 calls me ‘M,’ so maybe we stick with that?

[blurryfangirlansuke]

Now you maybe wondering that about me being absent one of them is college I can't control that it depends on my degree and planning what I want to do in my adult life. Also I want to get this out of my chest. I'm perfectly fine when people tell my obsession with Duke goes too far causing me to lose friends or just being all over a character that doesn't exist. I understand and I do apologize if I make feel people uncomfortable and when ask people if they can draw myself and Duke together they don't have to I make it very optional and I have plenty of other characters to simp for but Duke is #1 he'll always be. He's the reason why I'm being stable from being lonely and stress between reality and trying to become independent. It's not easy when your autistic and have social anxiety and learning different ways of how to do things. Duke is a comfort and I believe everyone should have a comfort character if not then perhaps your best friend or family .

Whenever I see a picture of Duke or art heck even gifts people draw for me it makes me touched and happy because I love this vampire and yes he's fictional but it's fun to simp and also appreciate the creator who put there heart and soul making characters to adore and even be interested with there stories and series.

Another thing I get so happy is when I commission the creator of the series Duke's plays the lead one along with Missi the vampire who tolerates him. The creator absolutely knows me so well and always spoils me with amazing commissions of me and Duke also she's close and appreciates fans like me for liking character such as Duke . Also buying loads of merchandise from the creator's store and main do I go buck while on everything worse then going to a barns and noble xD.

I am a busy person who gets free time and sometimes not so much. I'm working on my degree, learning the good and bad things in life even if I don't understand. I attend to also write my fanfics whenever I get the chance to take a break on drawing nonstop art of Duke. It also gives me ideas for myself if I ever want to make a character of my own and I know one day the character is going to be inspired by many artists I admire if you see what I usual post xD.

I have dreams of being with Duke in real life like he stays with me in my campus, we go for nightwalks, I lay in his coffin or king size bed and talk for hours. I wake up and he's not there with me. I know this feeling is loneliness which I'm use to since I have a hard time reaching out to people and the art I do might probably not spark interest. I miss my sister who's in college we have a great bond, I love my parents always support me, I have friends and fans online here that support me.

However I really wish I didn't feel this way. I know I attend to seek help with my advisors or talk to my sister it does help. I'm not normal and then okay because hey we all special and unique in our ways. Duke is fictional but he's my happiness and true comfort and I'll always love him even if I want to strangle him.

Yes I've been a little depressed and overwhelmed but that's life we have our good days and bad days. Crying does help me let everything out and start a better day. Eventually this blog will also get more hearts soon and also I have to be present for that to happen which I try. I appreciate you listening to me and I don't want end things sad especially since this is me and Duke's month so I made a healing art piece and color it about us. I really appreciate the support and love you all give me. This helps me to stay motivated and keep going. Don't worry I'll post more things and happy stuff. Letting this vent things pass.

Thank you for listening and much love you all Spooklings 🥰