#and also hallucinations and delusions
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It's: "Insanity fills the will of my role"
Now Introducing the: Head Archivist
This is still being written. I'm trying to subtly allude to most if not all the fears in this song without it being obvious.
Taglist: @cameforstuff @greenbunny7 @bren-the-chicken @randomnerd737
Elias Bouchard:
[Spoken] And here, Jonathan Sims, is your archive.
[Door slams shut]
Jonathan Sims:
[Sung]
…
Why, oh why, is this place askew The previous Head Archivist Had one job to do
I have been placed in charge By Elias Bouchard
After Gertrude's death I stepped up to the mark Of getting things straight In this hell of a loft
Someone half decent could do this correct Gertrude, it seems, was less than equipped Wonderful, oh wonderful, that he chose me I'll get this place in order, just wait and see
Uploading these stories, although most of them fables, To the digital world, where then we're able To keep track and understand the less than quick People who submit tales of woe and object Insanity fills the will of my role
While some cases of supernatural activity Have place for credence and stability Most who submit a statement Are wrong in their suppositions
#glacier rambles#spiral's more to do with questioning everything around you#wondering whether you're actually friends with someone#wondering whether this is actually the right path#and also hallucinations and delusions#things like that#while the domains to overlap#sometimes#anyways he's doing the same thing over and over and over again#and that#when i'm off my meds#can make me go insane
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I'm totally headcannoning Mutsumi to have DID. She's dissociating literally all the time, she has flashbacks, has issues with boundaries and codependency, she literally split and switched in Ave Mujica's performance, she has an emotionally neglectful family, and yeah. She has DID, she has a dissociative disorder. People think DID is just about the alters, but no it's not, it's about the dissociation. I will also say she probably has other comorbid disorders, such as social anxiety and selective mutism. She also has psychotic features, but I don't know enough about it to really determine which one it is.
#mutsumi wakaba#wakaba mutsumi#ave mujica#bandori#i also have DID and developed SM because of trauma#for those who don't know- psychotic features/psychosis is both hallucinations and delusions#it does not mean she has anti social pd#she probably has a cluster a pd though#ALSO SHE HAS STRAIGHT UP AUTISM SHE IS FLAT AFFECT WITH AUTISM BYE
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I've seen a few people speculating as to why we never saw Primo, Secondo and Terzo's Ghosts around and while there are some cool theories i feell like evryone has forgotten the actual established reason for Ghosts: unfinished business.
Primo and Secondo were definitely done being Papa - they handed the mics over without complaint- and while Terzo was dragged off stage i don't think he would particularly want to hang around on this plane. He was finished. Jaded old dude was ready to move on, in my opinion. Nihil was definitely waiting for Sister, of that i have absolutely no doubt, and Sister wanted to make sure Cardi would cope with his new position. She wanted to see him through the transition at the very least. Not sure about the twins, but they were so young, they probably had a lot of life left to life and felt unfinished, or at the very least want to move on with Sister and Nihil.
This seems the most logical reasoning, the three Papas moved on to the great beyond but Nihil, Seestor and the twins had shit to do.
#that or Sister Imperator did some black magick soul trap shit on the papas to prevent them coming bavk#back*#who knows#i like traditional ghosts though#also a fan of them being Copia's delusions#he is unwell#but i dont think thats canon#mr psaltarian acknowledges Nihil#and Nihil is revived on stage#so probably not a hallucination#unless copia is THAT unreliable#but unlikely#primo#secondo#terzo#copia#nihil#sister imperator#the papas#papa i#papa ii#papa iii#papa iv#papa nihil#ghost#the band ghost#cardinal's thoughts
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wow, two similar but unrelated events coincided in a very convenient way! how nice! i wonder what the paranoia brain has to say about this
#“THOSE TWO PEOPLE ARE CONSPIRING TOGETHER ITS ALL A TRICK. YOU’RE IN THE TRUMAN SHOW EVERYTHING IS A LIE”#okay bud so we’re gonna get some food and then we’re gonna go for a walk ok :)#i like that a lot of my delusions are like “everyone around you is conspiring together against you. but also everything isn’t real you’re-#hallucinating all of it. but ALSO—“ like we’re contradictingggggg can we pick a lane#sparks speaks#delete later maybe making fun of this just helps me ignore it#no sense of thematic consistency…
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also, vi and jinx are schizophrenic and that's why they both rely on substance abuse. send post
#we see vi hallucinate on multiple occasions. “that was shimmer/blood loss/alcohol” I'LL KILL YOU#also y'all trying to give jinx other disorders BUT schizophrenia will rot in hell. you hate mentally ill people so much#(i do think jinx has bpd/ptsd amd was thought that way but y'all would do everything but day you're favorite character has schizophrenia#even when said character is shown having hallucinations amd delusions)#a character would scream I AM SCHIZOPHRENIC and you'd still say nahhh they're autistic#og
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She fucking steamrolled me.
#i got my meds but at what cost#idk of this is even the right thing#i feel like she wasn’t really listening to me#and which symptoms are actually troubling me#it’s mostly that i can’t think right and am having delusions#she focused a lot on halluvinations#most of my hallucinations are benign#fd ramblings#also she misgendered me a lot so that wasn’t fun#vent cw#saneism cw#ableism cw
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danlou 'all of us strangers' AU btw. if you even care
#iwtv#thunder rambles#idr their names but louis is andrew scott's character and daniel is paul mescal's character#between the commitment to delusions and hallucinations to cope and the drug abuse......#also something about the generational difference in the experience of queerness makes me rly soft when i think abt danlou#danlou
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i think a reason i dissociate or think im a ghost so much is because a lot of people found me annoying as a kid so theyd pretend i didnt exist and just not respond to me. like my dad is the main culprit but it happened at school too and honestly i cant even remember the reason i just remember kinda giving up on people at some point and not really making friends
#vampyrehospital#there was also the classic nuerodivergent experience of people “befriending” me just to laugh at me constantly#didnt help that i had delusions and hallucinations that made me look even weirder
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Have a Dimitri because juggling hyper fixations is almost all I do now.
#dimitri alexandre blaiddyd#lambert egitte blaiddyd#(a hallucination of him anyway)#also can we take a moment to appreciate that no-one called dimitri crazy or insane or evil for hallucinations or psychosis#also no-one dismissing his delusions and telling him he was stupid but no-one saying his delusions were right and people gently correcting#like I love it#and as a side note#I've got (fairly mild) psychosis induced by stress and seeing my little guy/ the skrungly having a (considerably worse) thing similar to me#that wasn't villain-y or shown to be a really creepy or wacko thing to have#like do you know how many people in games and media are evil because of '!!the voices inside their heads!!' oooh creepy#like dang it come on psychosis doesn't make you evil or creepy it's just a symptom of varying conditions#or sometimes just something some people get#like I love Veronica (fe heroes) but the being possessed after hearing voices come on IS there are better ways to do things you morons#anyway enough about that#fire emblem#fire emblem three houses#creativesplat draws
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Just to make it excessively clear, my blog is and will always be a safe space for physical therians, clinical zoanthropes, and p-shifters. Although I personaly percieve my body as biologically human, my experience isnt universal. If you tell me you physically become a creature in a way that both of us can see and experience, thats incredible and I am very happy for you. I will never question or doubt someone's lived experience of reality.
#I have delusions and hallucinations + also being a therian#So its pretty easy. I dont know how some therians refuse to accept our siblings who experience physical shifts#I have many friends who experience things that others claim are not real but it is real for them and thats what matters#If you tell me something is true for you in your life#Saying you are not physically what you are is like someone telling me I cannot communicate with my god#And she is not real. Not only is it provably false it is also just a horrifically rude thing to say#If you do not support and love our physical kin#coyote yipping incessantly
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how can it be possible to try a child as an adult. isn't the point of having separate legal processes for children and adults that children are. different from adults. like if you want to just argue that that's not true and children are exactly the same as adults and if they do bad things then they should be held to the same standards as adults who do bad things that's one thing. I don't agree but I guess the justice system is arbitrary enough already that you could argue it. but given that that's not the case and that there's legally such a thing as a juvenile how can you then be like "but THIS twelve year old child, we feel, is a real piece of work. so much so that for the purposes of punishment I think we should all agree to pretend they're twenty." and the court system is like "word. for the purposes of this trial they are twenty." like what the actual fuck
#psir#i am upsetting myself reading about the slenderman murder babies#who were not only twelve year old girls and therefore for all practical purposes insane#but at least one of them was also actually clinically psychotic. like having hallucinations and delusions and the whole nine yards#i can't believe how fucked up their treatment in the system was
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god i love characters that haunt the narrative <- being very normal about next to normal
#watching several productions simultaneously and god#all of them are good in their own ways but aaron tveit is an absolute standout#so fluid and almost inhuman with the way he morphs into different versions of himself depending on who diana interacts with#like even in the first part of the musical he feels less like *just* a hallucinated son but also an entity of his mother’s projection.#the way he comes between her and dan possessively during i am the one.i'd hesitate to use the word but it was almost-lover like.#which makes sense because the resentment she harbours for her husband already manifests in these sexually charged delusions with her doctor#and then in front of natalie during superboy & the invisible girl he’s more childish & cruel. because she will never be him.#something something der tod from elisabeth but as a son but also more mentally ill (because he IS her)
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The Oncler is trans, but is the Lorax trans as well or is he just a cis hating a trans person having hobbies(Polluting the world heavily) because hes lame
he's actually the onceler from the future after he transitioned.
#asks#ihategenders#also btw i got an ask the other day directed towards you#it said that you shouldnt use the word “delulu” or “delusional” because it makes light of people who actually get delusions/hallucinations#just fyi#:]
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Day 244 | id in alt
Even a girlboss needs a forehead kiss sometimes.
#dailykugisaki#jjk#kugisaki nobara#i mignt start actually fucking tweaking again#will rewatch jjk just for Kugisaki mayhaps its gotten that bad#hallucinating is not doing me justice#where is my oomf. and will oomf allow pure delusion that is any au and vision i have#big maybe but ayo im about to like-#ACTUALLY. i might add yuki in here somewhere because im also kinda ill about her#not as bad as Kugisaki but its still prevalent#i also like hearing big words and looking them up#quite the activity#SORRY FOR THE GORE BTWWEE#i jusy like trying random shit yall be knowing this ever since yall signed up for my bullshit
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ADHD is one of those weird neurodivergencies that's like. yeah you usually Can be a fully functional adult but your lifespan still might be shortened
#like. it's like a harmless disorder and not at the same time#i guess#in the sense that like. I don't have seizures. I don't really have hallucinations from ADHD except when I was over medicated#I don't really have strong delusions or anything like that from ADHD#but also I'm going to be more reckless at times. I'm always going to forget medications. I'm going to forget to take care of myself at times#and you're more likely to forget things like whether the stove is on so I can see why it's a thing
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Is drawing Dusk with eye shaped things inside his skull a style choice or is there a lore reason for that?
Ooh inchresting question... Yes and no. Partially it's just because I thought it looked cool, but also partially because Sans's judgement eye is Eye Shaped, and I always thought that was sick as hell, and I liked to hc Papyrus has a flashy eye himself, but it's actually vertical, rather than horizontal (I think I've only drawn it a couple of times, but most notably here, and should be stated that I think this rings true of any Papyrus).
Anyways, that's the origin of the shape, however I typically draw him specifically with six-nine eyelights as symbolic representation of the plot relevant humans and how their "ghosts" torment him teehee <3
#ghosts not entirely in a literal sense. only Chara's ghost does that. and I guess a little bit frisk's. wanna emphasize it's Psychosis#I feel like I'm just making it sound more confusing#uf papyrus could see and interact with Chara's ghost and to a lesser extent the other humans' (they weren't conscious ghosts the way Chara#was more like echos) due to being made with an excess of DT (also why his magic is Red) but their ghost has been gone since Frisk left#they didn't die either I mean he's haunted more by their memory and how disappointed they'd be in him. of course not in like a totally self#aware way. back underground I cannot emphasize enough he is Super fucked in the head#he’s hallucinating or experiencing delusions or both the majority of the time#and this is not benefited in any way by the fact he Can still see Code and 'in between' stuff (like the followers) so some of it isn't even#hallucinating. but how the hell would he know which is which??#my guy was struggling VERY badly things were Not going well#and the Other Ghosts in question are just Far More Symbolic in how Frisk made him question everything about the war on humans and what the#other humans were truly like now that he has a better idea of the circumstances. so even though he had nothing to do with their deaths the#whole thing haunts him. so in a sense it's also symbolic of the humans who have died since too because he has a different view of things#but is too detached to really be aware of what's going on. but deep deep within his subconscious *some* part of him knows...#<- normal things to say and think about#ok. bye#hf dusk#horrorfell papyrus#horrorfell#sun spots#anonymous#clear sky sunset#tyyy sorry if this got Weird
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