#and certain things come about not because of a certain event

[rametarin]

I come to you as a kid born in the 80s that was learning about the things that came before me (the pre and post WW2 world, the acting powers, the games they played and the tools, or weapons, of choice, and what that meant) and what waited me ahead in life.

It was a world that anticipated many already happening, ongoing problems and presented few solutions to them but doom and gloom. People that were oh so happy to tell you about pollution, global warming, or climate change, acid rain, melting of the polar ice caps, the scenario of all dead marine life and deforestation leaving earth a brown, plantless, lifeless, suffocating and starving rock.

It's not just being informed about events, it's about being informed about their significance, the players involved, what new people are trying to do for them, and get this: A few of them have reasons to portray these events and circumstances to you in the ways that they do. They aren't always trying to sell you products. Some are trying to sell you on despair and convince you the situation will be devestation and catastrophe unless another group of people, loosely affiliated and in spiritual cahoots with them, get their way.

If you only delve linearly, if you only keep focused on the same level, you will never learn beyond what certain people want you to know. You will never have enough information to make decisions or support things that can actually benefit or change a bad circumstance to something better. Only feel and make decisions based on what they want you to believe, and operate based on the available information (while their carefully curated interpretation allowing you to put the facts together yourself gives you the shape they want you to conclude), knowing you've convinced yourself by the presented evidence exactly what they want you to think and feel. Because you've invested in that conclusion.

That grimness itself is a call to action of the ignorant to move towards goals based on that ignorance.

For example: We had supposed "green movement" people that opposed western nations developing nuclear power. Why? Nuclear power has the smallest carbon footprint, it has the fewest industry fatalities. It has the greatest base load power. So then, you'd think the people so opposed to coal burning power plants and the burning of gasoline and other fuels would be over the moon for this source of electric power.

Not so. You learn some of the biggest detractors and opposition for nuclear power are these supposed "green" groups. People that supposedly hate the greed of "western corporations and former colonial powers," hate nuclear power on an ideological basis, because it's not, "transformative enough, socially." And unpacking that, you discover their contention is that it doesn't put power and utility in the hands of the government, exclusively, forcing centralization. That progress and energy independence and security and cheap power has been held back, because it's not the preferred outcome ideologues want.

And those same people will happily publish article after article about acid rain, the negative effects of the greenhouse effect, the detrimental effects of pollution on the food chain, how coal power plants cannot continue, as they're an environmental injustice.

Things are never as boxed in and non-starter or hopeless as they seem. Exaggerating and misrepresenting reality across mass media in the name of education is not an authentic look at the world.

You don't have to choose ignorance or despair. You can choose to observe and then investigate, ask around, take information with a grain of salt.

[eden-axe]

Midnight Critters

Summary: While Sylus is asleep you’re working on a project, when your greatest enemy crawls into the room. Now you must choose the lesser fear, stay with the bug, or wake Sylus.

Note: hihihihi the Caleb fic is coming, but this is a panic post because THERE WAS A HUGE BUG IN MY ROOM AND THAT IS ONE OF MY FEW PHOBIAS AND AHHHHHHHH! This fic is literally based off true events so please enjoy my panicked writing! It will not be proofread that much unless I check tmmr.

It was nearly 1 in the morning, you were working on a report for the Hunter’s Association, and even getting a spreadsheet of your expenses on Sylus’ card done for him. Sylus had gone to take a nap as you had taken him out for a day of fun in Linkon, and he had a few meetings later and he wanted to be as awake as he could for them.

You had been at it for over an hour since, after laying with Sylus until he fell asleep. You put the laptop down onto the couch and relaxed your shoulders, letting out a heavy silent sigh.

‘I can see why Sylus has someone to do his number’s for him.’ You thought, glancing back at the bright screen waiting for you to return. You stretch your arms over your head, and your legs as far as they would reach; accidentally kicking the coffee table as you reposition yourself.

You pick up the computer and laze about the couch, taking up as much space as you could. You reach over to the coffee table to grab your glass of water, and that’s when you see it. A brown, multi-legged beast. You can’t identify it as you toss the laptop across the couch and leap up to a higher place on the couch away from the creepy crawly.

Your hands start to shake as the bug crawls under the table, you can feel your breath become labored and you aren’t even sure you are breathing at certain points. You can feel bile rise up in your throat as you leap away from the couch and into the closest room, your bedroom. Where Sylus was resting.

You had not even noticed you entered that room as you made your way across the room, until you were next to the bed. You watched Sylus sleep peacefully, chest rising and falling at a steady pace, this was one of the few times he was able to relax. Even so, you knew that there were 3 guns, that you know of, that were near or on the bed in case of intruders.

Watching Sylus sleep calms you down a bit, until you realize you were the only one home to take care of the bug, and you know you wouldn’t be able to exist peacefully in the house until you knew it was gone. At the thought your hands started to tremble. You glanced between the door and Sylus, debating if you should wake him up or silently sit on the bed and try not to think of how many bugs were actually in the house that you were not aware of.

You kept reaching your hand to touch Sylus’ shoulder, but pulled back every time, ‘This isn’t his problem. He has more important things to do later, I can just wait until he’s up. But what if it brings friends?’ As you continue this back and forth in your mind and hand, you are suddenly pulled into the bed and brought into a warm embrace.

“You’re shaking, what’s wrong?” Sylus’ husky voice helps to ground you, the way it wraps you in a sense of protection courses you out of your panicked state for a moment.

Your face heats up at remembering how you got here, you try and dismiss it but Sylus tilts your face up. His eyes were focused, you wouldn’t have assumed that he was asleep moments ago, but the way he looks, the concern pouring out of him, you relents.

“You remember my um,” you fiddle with his collar, not knowing how to phrase your predicament, “…phobia?”

At how meek your words were Sylus sat up slowly, he left the bed and rounded it to hold his hand out for you to take. Your shaky hand grabs his firm steady one. You follow him to the door, but as he reaches for the knob, your legs start to feel weak.

Sylus turns around and holds your cheek with his free hand, “Just stay in the doorway and point me in the direction. I know you won’t be able to keep a peaceful mind unless you see it gone yourself.”

You lean into his hand and nod, he waits a moment, smiling at your trust in him before returning back to the true matter at hand: eliminating everything that harms your way of life.

You stop as he crosses the threshold of the bedroom and looks back at you. You point to the coffee table, telling him where you last saw it. He makes quick strides in getting there, kneeling down to glance under. When he rises you feel your heart rate pick up, but when you see Sylus smile your worry lessens, but confusion takes hold. He’s not looking at you.

You follow his gaze to the kitchen island and see Mephisto sitting on one of the chairs, bug in beak. When he knows you have seen the bug laying helplessly in his beak he flies away, to either eat or release somewhere outside, and you’d rather not know.

“I’m not the only one who wants to look out for you kitten.” You jump at how close the voice is, Sylus had walked over to the bedroom while you watched Mephisto leave. “I’ll call someone, maybe the twins, to do a whole search of the house for any more bugs. For now I’ll take you to a safe house near where I’ll be having my meetings, and Mephisto will watch over you until I’m back. Get some rest, wouldn’t want your heart to go into cardiac arrest, I quite enjoy having you around.”

You nod and rush to grab the computer, but before you could even leave the bedroom Sylus picked you up bridal style, “I’ll take care of it, just rest.” You listen and rest your head on his shoulder as you hear his evol move things around and closer to you both. By the time you make it to the car the adrenaline from your near panic attack had drained your energy and you had slept peacefully until dawn, where Sylus rested beside you. Mephisto watched the room diligently, and not a single bug in sight.

[indiaalphawhiskey]

Hello hello! I’m new here but not new to the fandom by any means but I’ll be truthful, I’ve been inactive for years. I saw one of your answers floating around Twitter so I decided to dust off ye ol’ tumblr and have a chat. My question is: does it ever just feel? Overwhelming? I firmly believed in H&L for years but it got to the point where we were analyzing tee shirts for hidden messages (this is post RBB/SBB saga) and celebrating when one of them wore blue or green or certain numbers and it just felt like I was participating in nitpicking. Like the fandom was literally nitpicking tiny things to validate our beliefs. Then I left. You’ve been here for years. It never feels overwhelming at times? Like “what are we doing analyzing tee shirt references or other minute things? Has it really come to this?” I think I struggle with guilt feeling like “are we actually listening to them? Do they want us to do this or are we way overstepping?” And I don’t know how to reconcile those feelings. Your thoughts?

Yeah, of course it feels overwhelming. There have been some particular points that come to mind where I was personally like 'dude, I'm out'.

But, what I'm getting from your ask is that you largely felt overwhelmed based on the content you were surrounded by, and not what was actually happening. And to that I say: a big portion of the fandom remaining somewhat fun is making sure you're getting content from the right people. In other words, people who know their shit -- who know facts, who will honestly differentiate between canon and headcanon, and who are also willing to adapt their understanding of who Larry are now versus who they were in the earlier years.

For example, the blogs I follow don't read into coded clothing anymore, unless it's in an overtly attention calling way, like at Glasto. And, even then, the call to read into Louis' shirt came from a series of events -- liking the tweet + H stunting -- and not just because he was wearing a shirt, you know what I mean?

Sure, the blogs I follow will make memes and jokes, but they know that the coded clothing heyday of Larry is very much over, the same way the era of RBB/SBB is also over.

Longevity in fandom (in any fandom, as I've learned) is down to finding people who can have measured and reality based conversations about things, and who know when to put headcanon and speculation to bed. I think a lot of the more measured takes on Larry have been buried by the Old Guard leaving, because I remember a time when we really really really cultivated a culture of vetting and fact-checking, and it feels like we've largely lost that.

A lot of us have forgotten the reason we got into Larry in the first place, which was to support two people who were asking us to see them and their love. Signaling to us. Fighting for themselves and needing our support to do it.

I think there are much fewer Larries now who hold true to that call, and are willing to adjust their expectations based on what we're reading from older Larry and what they need from us now. Many more people would now prefer to treat this like a huge game of Come Out Clue and then will throw tantrums when they're no closer to "winning" than they were a year ago.

And yeah, if those are the people you're seeing content from, then I'm not surprised it took a toll on you.

[innerclouddaze]

Corrupted TrBBH and Ace transcript of their first conversation (Bad POV)

VOD ID Bad's stream : 2502083599

"The Realm SMP - Day 210 - Learning and Growth"

Time stamp : 01:22:36 - 01:49:21

B = trBadboyhalo (corrupted)

A = trPili/Ace

====================================== B: Hello, Pili Dtowncat.

A: Full name is crazy.

B: What are you up to?

A: Oh, nothing. I'm in my house.

B: Did you need something?

A: I needed to talk to you, yes.

B: Oh, okay. What do you want to talk about?

A: About life, you know. Just in general?

B: How are you feeling?

A: I'm feeling good.

B: Ah, that's good.

A: Um...Bad, are you corrupted?

B: That would be crazy.

A: Yeah, wouldn't it, right?

B: I just had a little snack.

A: You just had a little snack, but you're not...corrupted?

B: Ha ha ha ha. That's a good one, Pili Dtowncat. Why, do you ask?

A: Pangi's concerned about you.

B: Oh. Why?

A: He believes that you're corrupted, and that it's my fault.

B: Is he concerned about you?

A: No.

B: Why?

A: I'm quite the opposite. He actually...I think he's mad at me. You know what? I think Pangi cannot handle being told the truth. That's what I think.

B: Why do you think that?

A: Oh, he just kinda said something amongst the lines of, I don't wanna talk to you anymore. After I told him the exact truth of the situation that was happening.

B: Oh, I see.

A: Uh, yeah. I'm not gonna lie, I'm a little bit disappointed. I thought he'll be a little bit smarter, but he wasn't.

B: Why do you think that?

A: Cuz he is dumb, because he can't comprehend basic things.

B: Hmm...I don't know. He seems very caring.

A: He is caring, but that does not make him smart. At the end of the day, if he can comprehend the real world scenario and how everything really works in life, then what's the point if he's really caring?

B: I see. Do you think he's naive?

A: He lacks experience. I feel like...How I'll describe it is sometimes you're still living inside of a bubble, and you think the world worked in a certain way, and you think that you're doing the right thing, but once you realize in the greater scheme of things, that doesn't really matter that much.

B: Hmm...I see.

A: Hmm...Let's put things like they are. Let's just say, A, there's a scenario where...The world would end up corrupted, right?

B: Yes.

A: But it already is corrupted. The corruption had existed before, now, and it will start existing even in the future. No matter what happens, right?

B: Yes.

A: But also, B. Let's just say that there's a mass extinction event, like the dinosaurs. We can talk about the dinosaurs. Let's say that there's a meteor, a big one, that blows everything up and kills everything in it. What is the difference between a scenario where the world is sending and the corruption is there, or a scenario where the world is sending and everything gets vaporized by a meteor? At the end of the day, the truth is that the world will still spin. Life somehow will make its way with the corruption or without the corruption. And it doesn't matter because they're both mass extinction events. And the people in this world will cease to exist so it doesn't really matter to them because they won't be there anyway.

B: I see. Does it matter if the corruption goes extinct then?

A: The corruption will never go extinct.

B: Why?

A: Because the creators, and the beings that keep us here, they are all made of corruption at the end of the day.

B: Yes.

A: The corruption was here before us, and also be here afterwards. It will always make and find a way to come back.

B: Yeah, hmm...

A: So. I'm gonna ask you...because this is a genuine question.

B: Yes.

A: Are you gonna drop the act?

B: Hmm...Am i acting?

A: Yes.

B: Oh...*looks down and walks behind Ace* *trBBH's tone shifted* I don't know, Pili. I see what you're saying. I think I understand, but...

A: What do you see? What do you feel?

B: I think...that Pangi just cares...a lot. I think he cares about you, and about me.

A: He does not.

B: Hmm... But would it be so bad, Pili?

A: For what?

B: To be cured. What they call cured.

A: *laughs* I would love to see them try.

B: I understand, Pili. What you said...it's true. It's like...having...a big hug from a friend. A friend who's always there. A friend who never leaves you. A friend who always cares about you. That's what it feels like.

A: Yeah, I said that. This is why I like the corruption. And this is why I'm working with the corruption. But I'm also that friend. To you.

B: But is it real? Is the feeling real? Is it worth the pain that it causes Pangi, causes the people who care about us?

A: Well first of all, I don't give a fudge about Pangi at this point.

B: Oh...*looks down and off to the side* Hm...

A: Listen Bad, sometimes you need to realize that you can give everything to someone. But no matter how much you give to them, they will never give that same amount to you. And sometimes it's okay to be selfish. And sometimes it's okay to drop someone, but they don't care about you. As much as you care about them.

B: I see. And you think Pangi is like that.

A: Well, I'm just gonna say that I think if Pangi cared a little bit more, he would've put more effort for this whole thing to be avoided. At the end of the day, he did have a say in this. No, actually, let me backtrack. He did not have a say. He didn't even omit. He didn't even post. He just said, "Okay!". And carried his own way. He could've saved his friend multiple times, yet he didn't.

B: *looks down and up at Ace* You are correct, Pili.

A: Yes. Do you remember all those times where...Pili 2 was around? No one really cared to help him. No one really cared to hear him. There was clearly something wrong with him, yet...Oh, it's okay, you know. He's just like that. There was a moment that maybe this whole thing could have been prevented, stopped. But no one really did anything, just point fingers. Because the truth is that everyone saw him as a bad guy. But in reality, they were making the bad guy everyone's actions. The things that a lot of people did to him were mean. And maybe that's why everything is like it is today. And I'm gonna be honest...I think Pangi...He's confused. He doesn't really know what he wants. He just acts on emotion. He lacks that...rational...thinking...or whatever. He likes to please everyone, but he can't even please himself. And that's why he always ends up losing every single friend. He lost his spirit for his friend, and he keeps fighting his friends and having conflicts and everything, 'cause you have to realize that you can't really please everyone.

B: Hmm...but...I think sometimes, Pili...that...it's possible...that he can realize the mistake he made. That it takes something else happening, for him to realize how bad he treated someone else. And then he can make up for it, and apologize. And I think he's trying to do that, because another one of his friends is being affected.

A: The truth is, he's worried about you, and he's blaming me for it.

B: But is he not also worried about you?

A: No, he's not. In fact, I could feel his anger, his rage, at the words that I was saying, and to some extent, there were moments when I felt like he was going to pull the trigger on me again.

B: Hmm...but isn't that what he should have been doing, trying to cure you the whole time?

A: No. Killing me is what brought me here. Maybe...maybe if he talked more about how he was feeling, or maybe if he expressed himself more in a better way, in a healthy way. Maybe if he stopped being so emotionally driven, and opened his eyes, and think for once, and try and understand the scenario and the situation of what was happening in front of him. Which is kinda crazy to even think that his little boyfriend, uh, creature, Lukey, um...He kinda figured everything out...easily. And he was kinda the newbie. He was here for about, what, like a couple of weeks? He caught on real fast, but somehow Pangi never really realized.

B: Hmm...Yes. They are different. *looks off to the side*

A: Yeah.

B: I think killing Lukey might help Pangi see the mistake he made.

A: Oh, yes! See, now you're saying awesome things, Bad! Do you think killing Lukey will help Pangi? I don't think so.

B: I think it will help him see what he did wrong faster.

A: I mean, to some extent, sometimes it takes someone messing up to realize...I also feel like maybe...Here's the thing, it's just oh my God, can I just even say how much of a- Ooh, I can't swear in here, can I? Oh, Lord. Oh, there's so many times where the little guy just wanted to say what his heart felt and what his mind was thinking, but he just held back and guess what? He's dead and he died because he never spoke his mind. And if he doesn't speak his mind, maybe Lukey's also gonna die. Isn't that crazy? Oh my God. I don't know, Bad. I- do you think killing Lukey will help? Maybe, yeah, maybe it will. Maybe...And-And hear me out! Lukey is on two lives! It doesn't really matter that much. Like one more, one less, right? He'll probably lose it to himself somehow.

B: Hmm...*looks down* I see...I just...I feel like...

A: Do you wanna kill him? What do YOU want, Bad?

B: I want...us to be friends again. I want us to be normal.

A: Who is us?

B: Us.

A: Me and you? We're still friends.

B: Me, you, Pangi, and our new friends. All of us.

A: Why?

B: Because it's important to me.

A: You know that I'm still your friend, regardless, right?

B: Yes.

A: Okay, so, um, I've worked with situations like this before, yeah, we can do this. So what we're gonna do is, we just gotta act like we're fully corrupted, okay? Yeah, no, we-- I am-- I don't know about you, but we gotta act like corrupted, okay? So, um, what we gotta do is, we gotta make them BELIEVE that the corruption is making us act this way. And then we magically get cured and it'll be like, "Yo, oh my god, my dear friends!" You know, it's kinda like when someone gets sick and they get cured and everyone's oh so happy and it's like, Oh, I wanna spend so much time with you now that you're back. Oh, woo! Let's spend eternity together. Let's go grab food and let's make a cake and let's do this and oh, my dear friend is back! Right? Does that sound good to you? Does that work for you?

B: Yes.

A: Okay, good.

B: And we can all be friends again.

A: Yeah, just like, you know, full of like, the protocol or whatever, once you get like, healed and you say like, I'm sorry I did the horrible things I did. I didn't mean it, blah blah blah blah. It was a mistake, blah blah blah blah blah. You know the script, right? Like, you just...Say sorry, whatever.

B: Yes.

A: Okay. So...Does that sound like a plan?

B: But...Is it real?

A: What? What is real?

B: Like Pangi. Will he really...Will our friendship be real?

A: Yes.

B: Okay.

A: Yes. He will because he's a- he's a dumb little guy that completely forgets about situations and completely forgives everyone for everything, so.

B: Oh...*looks down* Hmm...

A: I don't know! What like- what do you- what do you want from me?

B: I don't know...

A: What do you want?

B: What do you want? Both of you.

A: That's a conflicting question.

B: Yes.

A: I just want to have fun. But also to be happy.

B: Oh. Okay.

A: What?

B: I just...I thought understanding would help. But...I don't know if I completely understand.

A: Me?

B: It. This.

A: Corruption?

B: All of it.

A: Does it not make sense to you?

B: It makes a lot of sense. But...it still...isn't clear.

A: Maybe you just need more of it.

B: Maybe.

A: Like...not to be that guy. But you kinda look like Pili 2 when he just brought...got in here.

B: Hmm..

A: I just feel like you need a little bit more...Ooh, a little bit more cooking in the stove, you know what I mean?

B: Oh...Do you think?

A: 'Cause I'm fine! Why wouldn't you be fine? Right?

B: Oh...

A: It makes sense to me, why is it not making sense to you?

B: So, I just need more cooking.

A: Well it did take me a couple...days to get to this state, so...

B: Have you tried...Hmm...*looks off to the side*

A: What?

B: If I tried more corruption, maybe you could try...less.

A: Whoa, you wanna take me off my meds? Do you know what it's gonna do to me?

B: I don't know.

A: That's crazy, man. Okay, I'll do less.

B: Is that what it's like? Is it medication?

A: Maybe. Medication for the pain.

B: The pain Pili 1 went through.

A: The pain that we both have to burden, Bad. The pain that not everyone can understand and empathize with.

B: But won't that hurt Pangi more?

A: But WHY does it matter? Why does it matter? You should be your top priority! You should be selfish! You should put yourself first!

B: Because--

A: What does it matter if Pangi's not happy if you cannot be happy yourself? You have to be happy first to make the others happy.

B: Because he's Pangi.

A: Yes, Bad. Was Pangi happy before? You got like this?

B: Yes.

A: I don't think he was.

B: Oh...*looks off to the side* What is happiness?

A: I think you're asking the wrong guy.

B: Are you not happy?

A: No. I've never been.

B: Then why? Why the corruption? Isn't it a cure for sadness.

A: Yes. But the absence of sadness does not just...It does not equal happiness, Bad. It's just numb.

B: I see. So, this warm blanket is more of a cold blanket.

A: Not really. My situation is different. I cannot feel happiness. I'm sure you can. This does not have to do with the corruption, Bad. This is anything but the corruption.

B: I see.

A: I'm sure you get happiness. I just...I just think you're getting used to the change like I did.

B: Hmm...Maybe. I am learning.

A: Remember, you gotta cook it a little bit more, Bad.

B: Let it grow?

A: Let it grow~ Yeah, like the song.

B: Okay.

*Lukey says good night to everybody and logs off*

A: Urgh this guy! No! Damn it! Oh no. I'm gonna kill him.

B: Well I guess we can talk later.

A: No, it's okay. No, Bad...uh I'm sorry.

B: Yes.....Don't be sorry, Pili. I just want to help.

A: You're helping. Believe me that you are.

B: I am?

A: Yeah, you are helpful. You've always been helpful.

B: Okay. That's good. *nods*

A: I need to ask you, do you really want to be corrupted?

B: I really just want to help.

A: You know how you will help me?

B: How?

A: By killing Lukey.

B: Would that help Pangi too?

A: Yeah.

B: Okay, then I'll do it.

A: On the long run, yes. It'll make him be more grateful. Kinda like a little wake-up call, you know?

B: Okay. *nods once, looks down and walks to the exit*

A: Wait. Bad.

B: Yes?

A: It'll be okay. At the end of the day. If anything happens, feel free to blame me. You can always blame me. Okay?

B: Okay.

A: If anything, it's my fault.

B: Okay. Take care of yourself.

A: You still need to cook a little bit more. Okay?

B: Okay.

A: You'll start to feel better soon. I'll make sure of it.

B: Okay. Thank you, Pili.

A: No worries. That's what friends are for.

B: Yes. *few vigorous nods* Yes. That's what friends are for. *jumps a few times*

A: Exactly.

B: Okay. Thank you, Pili.

A: In fact, I think you'll get more friends soon...in a couple of days.

B: I will? Oh boy. Just like the old times. *looks back and walks to the exit*

A: ...

B: *looks back at Ace*...... See you soon, Pili.

A: See you soon, Bad. I'm always with you.

B: I know.

*Bad leaves*

[thislovintime]

Photo by Ken Whitmore.

“Walking down the street one day [in NYC] — there’s a song there — and I got, I was, I was the recipient of intelligence. Now, I’m not gonna go into the hows and whys and wherefores, you know, it was totally mysterious but I was informed that I was to leave town. I just — ‘Get out of town.’ […] I was informed that I was to get out of town. I go, ‘Okay, I’ll take your word for it.’ And I just said, you know, just let me clear up a few things and then I will go to either L.A. or San Francisco, whichever provides where I can get transportation to and a place to stay in. Well, that turned out to be L.A. I got — these people said, ‘Well, we’re taking a ‘37 Chevy to L.A., you wanna come along?’ And I had a friend who had just moved out there and would put me up, so I said, ‘Sure, L.A., here I come.’ And I jumped in this ‘37 that blew a rod and started spewing smoke just this side of Las Vegas, we hitchhiked the rest of the way, and this was like… I landed in Orange County, California, just the end of June in ‘65, and by August ‘65 I was involved in the auditions for the Monkees.” - Peter Tork, GOLD 104.5 (1999) “[T]here were a number of events leading up to it that lead me to think that there was a certain kind of ordained quality to it all. I’m not a mystic, by any chance, but I’ve seen a lot of connections occur that standard, conventional Western logic isn’t large enough to take in. And I believe that this was pretty much set up somehow. It’s almost as if I had no choice. Things sort of occurred. For instance, Stephen Stills called me and said, ‘Go try out.’ And I said, ‘Yeah, yeah, yeah,’ and hung up and left and didn’t think about it. Well, he called again. Nobody’s ever called me with a suggestion like that twice. Not before, not since.” - Peter Tork, The News and Observer (September 13, 2004) “[T]hen I said [to Bob Rafelson], ‘Listen, I know another guy that’s a lot like me and he’s probably a little brighter, and he might be a little bit quicker and funnier.’ […] I called him [Peter] up. He said, ‘I’ll come down.’ And two days later, I found out that he had gotten the job and he called me to thank me. It was funny. I was amused that he took it because he was kind of a hipster.” - Stephen Stills on recommending Peter Tork for The Monkees, 1988 interview quoted in Canyon of Dreams: The Magic and Music of Laurel Canyon (2009)

[freyafrida]

rilla of ingleside, chapter thirteen

getting to the lusitania, here we go 😬

“But I will say that I would not have minded throwing a few stones myself. One thing is certain—Whiskers-on-the-moon said in the post office the day the news came, in the presence of witnesses, that folks who could not stay home after they had been warned deserved no better”

whiskers BAD pacifists BAD and that's why we should throw rocks at their windows

“Bruce Meredith is worrying over the babies who were drowned. ”

While Bruce is, as a character, super twee and unrealistic (kind of wonder what the purpose of him is? To show the effects of the war on innocent children who just Care Too Much? to make it a kind of 'out of the mouths of babes' situation re: sympathizing with the war effort?), I would be legit worried for him if he were a real kid. He's so distressed over world events he can't do anything about, and his parents make no effort to insulate him because ~that would be lying~ (and ofc in deep irony, half the stuff Bruce is losing sleep over is exaggerated anyway). Cannot say that I'm thinking Rosemary is much improvement over Rev. Meredith, as a parent. It's starting to seem like a miracle that the older Meredith kids are okay.

“You don’t expect me to ask her?” giggled Amy MacAllister, the other member of the committee. “Irene and I haven’t spoken for a hundred years. Irene is always getting ‘insulted’ by somebody. But she is a lovely singer, I’ll admit that, and people would just as soon hear her as Mrs. Channing."

Ayyy Rilla hanging out with girls her own age! I kiiinda get why we don't get much of her having friends -- the book is way more concerned with portraying all the various facets of the war and showing the heroism (heroineism?) not only from girls like Rilla, but also older women like Susan -- but after how detailed every stage of Anne's life is, it just leaves me wanting more of Rilla, you know? I also would have liked to see more focus on the generation that came of age during the war in general, instead of Gertrude and Susan tbh! (Again, I get why we don't, but lettuce discuss how this book could appeal more to me personally lmao.)

Also, occurs to me that in terms of like, how much on-page time they spend together, Rilla's closest friend her own age is Miranda Pryor. LOL.

“there’s even a big party coming out from town”

Town being...Charlottetown? I've always been under the impression the Glen is basically the largest settlement in its area (with over-harbor/Upper Glen/Glen St. Mary being the largest town?) but I guess given that none of those are actually large towns, it would make sense for Charlottetown to still be "the" town.

“I think Irene is the one who should apologize,” said Miss Oliver. “But unfortunately my opinion will not fill the blanks in your program.”

Realism :( Always horrendous to realize that what's right and what's practical are not the same thing. Rilla's reply is once more on the theme that she can't shirk doing things she hates, especially in service of the war effort (getting up a concert), when soldiers are facing the ~Huns.

The bit where Rilla apologizes to Irene is so good -- relatable, tbh (me gritting my teeth and writing "Thanks for catching that! I'll fix it right away!" in the work chat when the person who makes me review 10+ photo batches in per day is like "omg freyafrida there's a speck of dust in this photo!! can't believe you didn't see that!!") and I always love how Rilla is a lot tougher and willing to do what's necessary than she appears. (Honestly, very classic "I'll do it I'm just going to be dramatic about it first" which, same girl.) It's come up before, and I think you can see it again now, that Rilla's honestly pretty...chill, for lack of a better word haha, not prone to holding grudges like her mother -- e.g. she doesn't really let Ken's teasing of her get in the way of liking him (unlike Anne with Gilbert) and here, she pretty much moves on from Irene, accepts that she isn't a good friend, and gets over losing her friendship, even in the face of Irene being passive-aggressive to her.

Do agree that while I can see how she put on two different stockings, I don't know how she put on two different shoes (does she not keep her shoes in pairs?) and somehow walked the whole way to the Upper Glen without noticing her stride was wonky?

“Dear, dear, was Irene at feud with everybody? As for Una Meredith being hateful to anybody, the idea was so farcical that Rilla had much ado to keep from laughing in Irene’s very face.”

you: Walter Slur Mystery; me, an intellectual: Una-Irene Beef Mystery (j/k why not both). Always been curious about this given that everyone else and their mother thinks Una is an angel who's never fought with anyone! I've always headcanoned it as Una possibly being tired/slightly frustrated and maybe being a bit short -- not rude, but perhaps snippy -- with Irene one day and Irene taking it overly personally (also wouldn't be surprised if Irene just like, didn't like Una in general for being kind of plain and boring...and maybe didn't like her for having an in with the Blythes and Walter?). Also love the mention that Una plays piano -- grasping crumbs for character details, lol, but I do like the idea that music is her hobby, since she also wants music lessons really badly in Rainbow Valley.

“And Ingleside was a very charming house to visit, especially when a handsome college student like Walter was home.”

Curious that she's interested in Walter still -- handsome as he is, given how everyone is on his case for not enlisting, it's interesting that reputation-obsessed Irene would like him. (Walter Slur Mystery time: if it was a suggestion Walter is gay, I wonder if Mrs. Burr was, like, "helpfully" trying to warn Irene off since Irene does think Walter is handsome...although Irene is still interested in him here and seems to still think she has a chance if she hangs around Ingleside. That would support Rilla's belief that Irene might not even believe the rumor herself and was just trying to put Rilla down 🤔)

“There is only one thing of importance just now—and that is that the Allies win the war,” she said aloud.”

ok I just googled and the Triple Entente was apparently referred to as "The Allies" through WWI, presumably by their own side. Confusing since the other side was the Triple Alliance!! why would they do this to me, personally, a hundred years in the future

glossary:

Readying Rilla bits:

Draft originally mentions that Mrs. Channing's son is in Halifax with his regiment; Halifax is then replaced with "Kingsport". Pretty sure most people have speculated Kingsport is basically Halifax, which makes the decision to ignore the Halifax explosion later puzzling!

Re: the slur against Walter, it originally says "she [Rilla] could not utter what Irene had reported about Walter", which kinda reads more serious than the final version.

Irene's appearance: her hair is originally described as "golden", which is replaced by "pale, straw-colored" (can't be too flattering to the villain, lol), and instead of "extreme fashion", it's described as the "very latest Charlottetown fashion." ("shallowly-set, insolent" is also added to the description of Irene's eyes, lmao).

Cut bit after Irene says "and sing at your concert?": "She might as well have added, 'that is just why you are apologizing to me' for her tone said it for her. And the worst of it, from Rilla's point of view, was that it was quite true."

Rilla originally suggests "Millicent Arnold" (related to Fred?) to accompany Irene, before Una and Gertrude.

The entire paragraph about Rilla outgrowing Irene isn't in the first draft (it's inserted as a huge chunk in LMM's notes).

Rilla originally gives her full name as "Bertha Marilla Cuthbert Blythe" (muscle memory re: Marilla from LMM?)

[sadsongsandwaltzes]

I am not a psychologist so I have no clue if this is just my own crackpot theory or what. And my apologies if I’m speaking out of my ass here.

We were not made for a fallen world. We were made for Eden. Since we have to live in this world corrupted by sin, the brain does what it has to in order to survive.

A toddler doesn’t know what “hot” means, until one day you warn the child not to touch a plate because it’s “hot,” they touch anyways, they feel the sting, and now they understand what “hot” means. The brain, now acknowledging this is something that can be a threat, has an immediate response to “hot.” Anytime someone says “hot,” we immediately recoil and make sure we don’t touch whatever is believed to be hot. The brain is simply trying to survive.

I think there’s a similar thing happening with trauma response. It’s the brain doing the same thing, but to such an extreme degree that it’s almost impossible to function. If someone survives a near fatal car crash, they may panic when they go near a car. Why? Because the brain has learned this thing to be an immediate and serious threat. The brain is now trained to fear and recoil. If you lived in a war zone and learned to sleep with one eye open so to speak, the brain is now trained to sense danger at every turn, especially when you’re in such a vulnerable state as sleep. You’re living in a constant state of anxiety because you expect a fatal threat. It’s why sudden noises and movements can trigger anxiety.

The brain is doing what it does. It adapts to perceived threats for survival. This heightened state of anxiety is deemed necessary by the brain, but we were not made to live in such a state. We cant. So the brain is, ironically, slowly killing itself. The brain is rewired and burned out and always looking for that next serious threat. It’s always reminding us that the threat looms. It’s where the subconscious lives. It’s why there’s constant anxiety, why there’s nightmares.

Of course, this can be exacerbated if the trauma is accompanied by severe grief or guilt.

This brings me to my point. If you would not tell someone to just pray the cancer away, I don’t think you can tell them to just pray the trauma away. We’re talking about a real physiological problem happening.

I think grief and guilt can be assuaged by the gospel. But the brain’s inner working itself? It’s a medical problem the same as any other. God absolutely can heal trauma same as cancer, but sometimes he doesn’t. Faith can absolutely bring about peace in hardships and give us the strength to carry on, but it’s not a guarantee that God will remove the hardship. That would be prosperity gospel.

And with all of this we can also recognize that certain treatments or habits may help relieve symptoms without fully curing, it exists on a medical spectrum.

And I think this is true about a lot of mental illness.

For the record, I think most mental illness in modern America is actually spiritual illness. And I think most psychologists are looney tunes. But people abusing a certain field of study and being stupid and misdiagnosing doesn’t negate the field of study as a whole.

If every sick person who walks into a doctors office no matter the symptoms gets diagnosed with cancer, it means the doctor is a quack and we have a problem of over diagnosis of a disease. But it doesn’t mean the disease isn’t real and that a certain percentage of the population doesn’t actually suffer from it. That would be a downright foolish thought.

Hormones, brain function, all of it can affect the mind. The brain is a complex organ. We still can’t fully understand it. And I don’t think we ever will. We know the brain can affect the mind. If it didn’t, people with TBIs would never suffer from sudden mental illness or personality shifts.

It seems wholly unchristian to deny the reality of both our body and the fallen state of the world.

[thesweetestsupervillains]

"Ah, Noelle claimed her home dimension was that Saturyne place, correct? So you share a dimension with her?" Hm.

"You know, you speak a lot of contradictions. First you claim you are incapable of anything you weren't made to do, and fair enough, but then you do lots of things that were not commanded of you. You make decisions on your own, all the time. You mourn, you decide to undertake duties, to feel things... It sounds as though you are more of what you made yourselves than what your creator made you to be."

"In any case, I have two theories about things now. The first is that your creator was gifted with the ability to see the future, saw their own ruin, and took steps that it knew would drag others into things in order to cause certain events to occur, and facilitate their return. Ergo, they take a seemingly random action, like removing someone's sound, because they can see the ripple effects and those ripple effects result in what they want."

"The second possibility is that they didn't have the ability to see the future, but they were aware of their own destruction, and sought to find a way to avert it. In this scenario, they took many different actions, as a way of hoping that one of them might work out. The more desperate someone is, the more outlandish their actions become, after all."

"But there's a timeline issue. You claimed earlier that none of your kind knows the creator, and that you don't remember them, and that you don't recall ever meeting them. Yet you know you were created by them. If that's so, then something must have happened to make you come to be without them, or you'd have known them, right?"

"We have no hierarchy. We are all the angels of the Legacy. They didn't tell us to mourn. Our creator didn't tell us to mourn. We all feel the loss deeply and personally."

"Some of us simply mourn openly. Some make it their duty. Others...try to carry on with that sense of abandonment within us."

"Many of us looked for longer than humans lived in Saturyne. Some of us stopped. For some, the search broke them, only emphasizing the absence of the creator."

[theactualsunshinechild]

I think Aventio and Screwtio shippers shouldn't fight. After all, Ratio has two hands!

That's right. Two hands.

One for his chalk.

One for his codex.

Both of which he's holding in an embarrassed death grip as they chat away with each other about him.

[r0semultiverse]

Hey, Jake & Jack fans, is this anything?

Both men imprisoned (literal & metaphorical).

Both offered an out from their current predicament by an outside force (arguably in the case of Brain Ghost Dirk).

Both have loose ties to Lord English visually.

Yellow initial glow & Gamzee involvement too.

Sometimes a guy just needs to explode (same pose too).

Both dual wielding weapons.

That same said weapon type (for Jack Noir) having killed Jane Crocker.

It's really looking like Jake is going to do her in.

I would also like to point out that we've had interactions involving these three (Jane, Jake, and Brain Ghost Dirk) before that consisted of similar topics & themes.

Brain Ghost Dirk implying that he's just there as moral support, a manifestation of Jake's powers, and as a coping mechanism. Jane also talking about ruling an empire with him while talking down to him, similar to how she saw and/or still sees him in Beyond Canon's Candy timeline. Jake also being uncertain about doing anything to harm her despite all the bad things she's doing.

Brain Ghost Dirk going away tells us that Jake's more hopeful than he's ever been. This is the moment where he is the most sure of his decisions than he's ever been in his life, whatever those decisions may be in regards to Jane and how to handle this situation.

He is probably going to shoot Jane down, quite literally. I would also argue that after all this time, the lad isn't beating the Lord English allegations. We might as well have a parallel of him killing Jane much like how Jack Noir killed her right before he got possessed by Lil Cal & given some of Lord English's immense power.

Alternatively maybe we'll get to see what the power of hope or hope bullets can do to someone whose done so much wrong & come so far off the deep end in terms of moral wrongdoings. Maybe with every shot that hits her, she'll begin to be swayed to the side of good & start to self-reflect.

I'm still not fully convinced that Gamzee actually cured Tavros' peanut allergy, I mean just look at the panel.

This could absolutely be interpreted as Jake injecting his hope power into the epipen and by proxy injecting both his power & the epipen into his son! If younger Jake is strong enough to defeat Grimbark Jade, then adult Jake might just be strong enough to defeat a peanut allergy is all I'm saying! In fact, now that I'm rambling about it, this seems like the more likely outcome is Jake's hope power swaying or (in the very least) confusing Jane mid-fight. Hope bullets, they would look cool & would be pretty strong!

The power of believing in others & wanting things to change can be a strong tool indeed, Mister English.

If there's one person who still believes in changing Jane's mind (or bringing her back to proper canonicity depending on how you interpret the recent lore), it would be Jake English, the believer.

Okay, maybe this is something! Tally ho!

[cynicalmusings]

just played through the new amphoreus quest… what have i just witnessed

[creative-hanyou-girl]

I don't know if anyone else feels this way but I think a big reason why I'm so chill about the changes made to the PJO show from the books is because I kind of look at each other as their own seperate canon.

Like, I read a lot of anime and manga, and anime adaptations have a huge habit for changing plot points for various reasons, and as a fan of said anime and manga, I've found that I can enjoy both versions of the same story even with the differences when I look at them as their own universe or canon. That's not to say I don't want them to be faithful or true to the source material, but if a scene or situation plays out differently for a logical or entertaining reason, than I can still appreciate that deviation from the manga even if I still like the other original version of that part more. And I can even like the reversal way if I feel an anime does something better than even the manga. But if I want to, I can look at certain moments as more canon than others because I got 2 different versions of that same scene or moment.

And, I don't know, I kind of apply that reasoning to the PJO series as well, mainly with the books, the show, and even the musical (not the movies put that right back where it came from). So far I'm loving the TV show, and while I miss some of the things they changed (like the pink poodle), this adaptation really is doing a great job with staying true to the heart and spirit of the original book that I personally am not even really bothered by the changes, especially when I remember that the books will always still be there with it's own version, or canon, of events.

Like, I will say 1 thing I adore in the books that isn't really in the show is the fact that a lot of Percy and Annabeth's "rivalry" during TLT has more to do with the rivalry between Poseidon and Athena. I just really like on how this adds a level of "forbidden friendship/love" to their relationship 'cause I personally eat the forbidden relationship trope up, especially when it's done well like with Percabeth.

Yet, even if this isn't really the reason percabeth have beef with each other in the show, I can still appreciate and enjoy that according to the show's canon, they have issues because they genuinely have problems with each other as actual people rather than their parents' rivalry, because at the end of the day, that's the PJO TV show canon, and I can always turn to the books for that version of Percabeth's "rivalry", as that is the PJO book canon.

Same goes for the characters too. I will always have and love my dark haired Percy and blond haired Annabeth in the books, but I can also welcome and love Walker's Percy and Leah's Annabeth from the show. And so far, they along with Aryan are KILLING IT as those characters.

I can love both versions of the characters.

I can love both versions of the same story.

I can look at both versions as they own seperate canon or mix them together if I so wish too (especially since both versions of PJO are written by the same guy)

And that's ok. The adaptation doesn't have to be a complete copy of the books. It doesn't have to have things play out eactly the same way. The characters don't have to look exactly the way they are described as in the books. And that's ok. I will still always have the books to love and appreciate, but I can also start to love and appreciate the new adaptation for it's new spin and twists to the same story that sets it apart as it's own canon while still staying true to the spirit of its predecessor.

Anyway, sorry if I'm not making a lot of sense. I just think the people complaining about the changes in the show are looking at it all the wrong way. The show has it's own canon just as the books have their own canon, or even the musical. At the end of the day, isn't that kind of cool to have different versions of the same story and characters? Doesn't it give you so many more options to look at the story in different ways that you can prefer or choose from? Doesn't it give you new versions of canon that you choose from? And really, as long as the PJO adaptation, or any adaptation for that matter, stays true to the heart and spirit of the original story and characters, do the changes made really matter?

[moafleco]

thanks god that our human memory can just forget anything and everything,, look at me now looking at the evil within screens and getting good old happy warm nostalgia feeling (i fucking hated this game when i played it all the way to the end and it didn't quite fullfilled my expectations on the plot that had so much potential (to be in a way more mysterious i guess, i just don't like the sci-fi stuff and would have prefered it to be not that rushed in the plot and scene sequences in the end). the frustration was so HIGH i tried to block any memory of it but.. visually and some other aspects are still appealing to me.. and now the memory is reoccuring and wow!! the first impression of TEW from the first anounncements + trailers when there was a little info about it + half the part of some chapters that i remembered and liked, the ones i felt pretty intense when playing or liked visually what impression it left on me... and as those little facts started to unveil a little from my memory, all the ones that got positive response from, like made me feel something like a thrill or admiration, as it stared to create a certain imagery/impression from memory (for TEW as a concept), that is most appealing to me and had stuck into it ideas that i liked about it the most.......... yeah i love when you can draw the line between the original work and your impression of it and not smudge them together and then be disappointed that much so you discard your own personal impression that actually built upon the original and made it bloom for you and had your vision.. you know, same as impressions and interpretations from poems where you will imagine completely diffrent imagery or reinterpretation based on your understanding (and filling in the gaps in knowledge with age) or perception (based on your current feeling, life situations, focus on a certain things or themes at the moment) or even more wild imagination (taking the imagery even higher))

[jils-things]

me when i stop caring too hard

[queensparklekitten]

I think I just guaranteed queen of nothing by the crane wives a place in my spotify wrapped tonight because of time princess

[fellhellion]

seeing miguel takes that make u say aloud HE DOES NOT KNOW HE IS A FICTIONAL CHARACTER IN A STORY WHERE THE PLOT IS CONSTRUCTED TO ILLUSTRATE A CERTAIN POINT/MEANING BRO 😭