#because if the brain is wired wrongly

[sadsongsandwaltzes]

I am not a psychologist so I have no clue if this is just my own crackpot theory or what. And my apologies if I’m speaking out of my ass here.

We were not made for a fallen world. We were made for Eden. Since we have to live in this world corrupted by sin, the brain does what it has to in order to survive.

A toddler doesn’t know what “hot” means, until one day you warn the child not to touch a plate because it’s “hot,” they touch anyways, they feel the sting, and now they understand what “hot” means. The brain, now acknowledging this is something that can be a threat, has an immediate response to “hot.” Anytime someone says “hot,” we immediately recoil and make sure we don’t touch whatever is believed to be hot. The brain is simply trying to survive.

I think there’s a similar thing happening with trauma response. It’s the brain doing the same thing, but to such an extreme degree that it’s almost impossible to function. If someone survives a near fatal car crash, they may panic when they go near a car. Why? Because the brain has learned this thing to be an immediate and serious threat. The brain is now trained to fear and recoil. If you lived in a war zone and learned to sleep with one eye open so to speak, the brain is now trained to sense danger at every turn, especially when you’re in such a vulnerable state as sleep. You’re living in a constant state of anxiety because you expect a fatal threat. It’s why sudden noises and movements can trigger anxiety.

The brain is doing what it does. It adapts to perceived threats for survival. This heightened state of anxiety is deemed necessary by the brain, but we were not made to live in such a state. We cant. So the brain is, ironically, slowly killing itself. The brain is rewired and burned out and always looking for that next serious threat. It’s always reminding us that the threat looms. It’s where the subconscious lives. It’s why there’s constant anxiety, why there’s nightmares.

Of course, this can be exacerbated if the trauma is accompanied by severe grief or guilt.

This brings me to my point. If you would not tell someone to just pray the cancer away, I don’t think you can tell them to just pray the trauma away. We’re talking about a real physiological problem happening.

I think grief and guilt can be assuaged by the gospel. But the brain’s inner working itself? It’s a medical problem the same as any other. God absolutely can heal trauma same as cancer, but sometimes he doesn’t. Faith can absolutely bring about peace in hardships and give us the strength to carry on, but it’s not a guarantee that God will remove the hardship. That would be prosperity gospel.

And with all of this we can also recognize that certain treatments or habits may help relieve symptoms without fully curing, it exists on a medical spectrum.

And I think this is true about a lot of mental illness.

For the record, I think most mental illness in modern America is actually spiritual illness. And I think most psychologists are looney tunes. But people abusing a certain field of study and being stupid and misdiagnosing doesn’t negate the field of study as a whole.

If every sick person who walks into a doctors office no matter the symptoms gets diagnosed with cancer, it means the doctor is a quack and we have a problem of over diagnosis of a disease. But it doesn’t mean the disease isn’t real and that a certain percentage of the population doesn’t actually suffer from it. That would be a downright foolish thought.

Hormones, brain function, all of it can affect the mind. The brain is a complex organ. We still can’t fully understand it. And I don’t think we ever will. We know the brain can affect the mind. If it didn’t, people with TBIs would never suffer from sudden mental illness or personality shifts.

It seems wholly unchristian to deny the reality of both our body and the fallen state of the world.

[thorntopieces]

country boy cloud who does his damnest to lose his accent when he first gets to midgar, half because he gets teased for it and half because the uppity midgar born and raised just can't understand his nibel-accented common. he's in midgar to become a SOLDIER, and sentiments from back home can't help him so he tries to kill the accent and doesn't speak the nibel language unless he's completely alone

meeting zack changes everything - zack's been in midgar long enough that his native gongagan accent has softened a little, some words pronounced differently in accordance with midgar common. but it's still there and he's proud of it, having learnt from angeal and genesis that having an accent isn't bad. only with zack does cloud allow himself to truly speak without worrying about his vowels being clear enough

zack's death changes everything. his brain jumbles, wires crossing wrongly and hurting. he reverts to the overly clean, overly forced midgar common - the sounds of it clear in his head from listening to so many of sephiroth's radio speeches in his youth. it becomes impossible for him to speak with the nibel accent and even his nibel language sounds odd. the midgar common becomes his default

but it's not entirely perfect and when it isn't, it's wrong. instead of defaulting to a nibel-tinted common when upset he now mimics zack's gongagan almost perfectly. it unsettles tifa and aerith both for different reasons

he can't answer any questions about it when asked, only knows that he speaks nibel still but also enough gongagan to converse comfortably (or at least as comfortable as he can ever be during a social interaction). when travelling around mideel, the locals ask him where he learnt banoran mideelian and he can't answer (zack knew it, zack taught him some, it's in his memories, forced to the front when triggered)

having his memories sorted out with the help of tifa, the dissociative amnesia barriers lowered but not entirely gone, lets the nibel accent come out in full force again. it's even stronger than tifa's and while the crew really has no business being surprised by anything he does anymore (hasn't he been so inconsistent that they should be taking anything in stride now?), they get really caught off guard by it

it's not always perfect and consistency is something cloud will never have, and some days the nibel accent is unaccessible to him, some days he defaults to midgar common and some days he doesn't speak at all because no matter what comes out of his mouth it won't be right. but that doesn't matter

[evelhak]

Ok every time I see a pantser post I assume it's just people celebrating being a pantser and I chime in but then when something makes me look at the notes it seems like there's always still people in there who think there's a right way to do writing...? Seriously, do people still fight over whether you should be a pantser or a plotter or a combo of them...? Obviously you should do what your brain was wired for. It just doesn't even occur to me that you should take writing advice as universal. Writing advice is only supposed to be followed if it works for your brain. Like it would never occur to me that an op of a pantser or a plotter post would literally mean that this advice is for everyone but when I see that in the notes there are a ton of people treating it as universal advice, either agreeing this is what everyone should do or disagreeing saying you should not, I start thinking, wait what, could this post have actually been meant that way too? I don't know it just takes me by surprise every time because I would never suggest my writing style should work for everyone and if I see writing advice I disagree with I just ignore it because it's not for me it's for someone else. It's just so weird to me that people would still be fighting over this age old and well known concept. And it makes me confused because I don't know if it's because people still can't tell the difference between a post that claims their truth is universal versus a post that simply isn't about you, or if I'm the one who wrongly assumes the posts are just about people's experiences.

[nursingscience]

ADHD

(Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder)

ADHD along with anxiety disorder, ODD, conduct disorder, depression, sleeping disorder, ASD, dyspraxia, epilepsy, tourette syndrome, dyslexia, autism etc. are brain related disorders which affects children & untreated or carelessness, giving steroidal drugs, wrong diagnosis etc. makes child's life challenging later on.

ADHD is a developmental impairment of the brain executive functions & not a mental disorder or learning & behaviour disability. It is also called attention deficit hyperactivity disorder & it is one of the most common neurodevelopmental disorders in children. Most of the ADHD cases are diagnosed between 3 to 7 years of age.

There are three main types of ADHD:

i) ADHD (Hyperactive type)

ii) ADHD (Inattentive type)

iii) ADHD (Combined type)

Most of the patients I treated so far were diagnosed with ADHD combined condition. Thus symptoms of ADHD may vary in patients accordingly.

Here are some symptoms related to ADHD & other neurodevelopmental disorders that could be noticed:

- Short attention & being easily distracted.

- Carelessness & making silly mistakes.

- Forgetfulness or losing things easily.

- Avoiding time-consuming tasks or inability to complete the tasks.

- Unable to listen to instructions.

- Changing tasks or activities very frequently.

- Not able to organise tasks or activities.

- Not able to sit constantly in a place.

- Disliking a calm or quiet environment.

- Constantly fidgeting or flipping fingers.

- Not able to focus or concentrate on a task.

- Excessive physical movements & talking.

- Impatience, not able to wait for their turn.

- Acts without thinking & weird sometimes.

- Incomplete & interrupted conversations.

- Less or lack a sense of danger.

- Impulsive behavior, getting quick anger.

- Lack of coordination & communication gap.

- Affection/attraction with certain objects for the long term.

And the list goes on...

An ADHD brain is wired differently from other brains & chemical free, no sugar, no colors, Ayurveda nano herbal formulation, compatible foods, gluten & screen free diet etc. is going to rewire the brain & restore the health.

“Instead of expecting the children to do better, first adults must do better. Then the children will feel better, then they can learn the skills they need, and only then can they do better.”

Avoid steroid based medications, sleeping pills, brain weakening medications, wrongly diagnosed treatment etc. Because it is the matter of your child's life. Come forward, don't hide your child's condition, speak about it & care for it.

Does yours or someone else's child suffer with special conditions of ADHD, Autism, Anxiety disorder, ODD, Conduct disorder, Depression, Sleeping disorder, ASD, Dyspraxia, Epilepsy, Tourette syndrome, Dyslexia etc.

Choosing the right treatment can improve daily functioning, rewiring the brain, boosts self-concept, increases learning & communication abilities, reduces the risk of negative outcomes & improves quality of life.

[evashogouki-01]

I feel like this completely overlooks the complexity of the human mind and neurology and the potentially radical differences in our perspectives that are shaped in no small degree (though certainly not entirely) by our experiences. Our own biases, whether informed by our own physiology or our experiences, can drastically distort our perceptions of really anything. Just because many people resisted hateful and destructive beliefs despite their environments doesn't mean that everyone is equally able to. We recognize that not everyone can survive severely adverse conditions despite billions doing so for a variety of both physiological and psychological reasons. We don't say "well it's because they simply chose to die or they didn't try hard enough or they were just stupid" about those that don't survive. But the ability to understand what is necessarily good versus evil is not remotely as simple as knowing how to survive, even with all the complex variations in our bodies. Even the concept of there being an objective right versus wrong isn't something we can quantify or agree on. And then you throw into the mix research that's emerged in the last decade or so about some people's brains being wired to favor conservative thinking and the effects of long term propaganda on people who KNOW what they are being presented with is propaganda to say nothing about the neurological damage we know trauma causes and we get an understanding that's more murky than ever.

And this is not to say that "no one is responsible for their actions and beliefs" but at the same time things are extremely complex because we are all perceiving reality through our very uniquely different lenses that can make even understanding basics about our reality enormously challenging. Basically just be careful about judging too harshly as we're not perfectly perceiving our infinitesimally slim view of life, the universe and everything perfectly either and that humans have, countless times throughout history, wrongly believed that our perspectives and judgments were without error.

"nazis and bigots could be you or I if under the right conditions" no actually because to sign off your humanity is a choice. People under much more dire conditions or much more dire brainwashing attempts still don't fall into dehumanizing other human beings for their identities. Why are you all so obsessed on proving that to become a monster is something that happens by no choice of the person when it very much is not. Just look at any white freedom fighters and allies in places meant to satisfy their every need who CHOSE to say "no, I won't follow you down the path of dehumanizing myself through dehumanizing others". To hate is a CHOICE that one makes because it sees a benefit for themselves in it. It takes a lot of (in)action to make sure evil happens, and everybody chooses what they believe in.

[mednerds]

A Neuroscientist’s Strategy for Controlling Your Emotions

It turns out there’s a right way to second-guess yourself happens lightning-fast. Someone on your Twitter feed makes a big announcement about their career — a cool new staff writing job or a book deal—and before you have a chance to think about it, you’re seething with jealousy. Or are you? 

It might feel like your emotions pop up automatically, but according to renowned neuroscientist Lisa Feldman Barrett, author of How Emotions Are Made, you have a lot more power over your feelings than you think. And that understanding alone is one of the most important tools for gaining control of the feelings that keep you down and hold you back.

Emotions, Feldman Barrett argues, aren’t hard-wired in your brain. Instead, they’re made in the moment. Typically, feelings are the result of three things: your body, your past, and your environment. Using physical sensations, memories, or present stimuli as context clues, your brain forms emotions as “guesses” in response to circumstances. And as with all conjectures, your brain isn’t always right the first time.

Annoying as that reality is, it helps to remember your brain’s entire purpose: to keep you alive. Your emotions tend to jump to extremes in order to protect you, even if those feelings don’t exactly serve you in the moment.

Imagine, for example, you got in a fender-bender a few years ago — and now, every time you ride in a car or hear screeching tires, your brain triggers your fight-or-flight response (and the overwhelming emotions that come with it) because it’s guessing you’re in danger. It’s a fair guess, but it may not be the right one.

Or, say your last boss used to criticize you a lot, and you feel shame about it. Now, you have a new job, but you feel like you don’t deserve it, and you’re always feel worried your supervisor is going to take a jab at you. Is it more likely your brain is wrongly guessing about what to feel, or that your boss is actually a jerk who sees the worst in you?

Of course, it’s not always possible to control your feelings, especially in the case of clinical depression or anxiety. And it’s well-known that numbing feelings isn’t helpful, either. Sometimes, riding out feelings with mindful self-compassion is the best way to move forward.

But if you find yourself feeling emotions that don’t seem accurate (or helpful) for the present moment, you can use your brain to tell yourself a new story. Start with curiosity in those moments. Ask yourself, “Is this how I really feel, or is my brain guessing incorrectly?” Remind yourself your mind is capable of spinning the wrong narrative, and that the inciting event happened in the past.

Or, as Feldman Barrett encourages, you can create totally new experiences. Rather than fixating on a past memory, you can allow yourself to live in the present moment. Your brain, eventually, may override the past association, re-aligning the experience to a different emotion and even changing your “future forecast” to expect different things.

Remember: Most emotions are neither good nor bad; they’re simply clues about what might be happening in your inner world. Second-guessing those clues might lead you to better insight about yourself and, just as importantly, what you need.

By Ashley Abramson (Medium). Photo by Jessica Ticozzelli from Pexels.

[shallowseeker]

Vintage disillusionment Dean and Cas using break up language way too early and just being mean-spirited and gloriously catty to one another:

4x22

CASTIEL: I do that, we will all be hunted. We'll all be killed.

DEAN: If there is anything worth dying for... this is it. (CASTIEL shakes his head and looks down) You spineless... (DEAN turns and walks away) …soulless son of a bitch. What do you care about dying? You're already dead. We're done.

CASTIEL: Dean --

DEAN: We're done!

DEAN turns to look behind him, but CASTIEL has disappeared.

///

5x18

DEAN: Well, that's insane.

CASTIEL: Not necessarily. Maybe they're moving on from you, Dean

DEAN: Well you gotta be kidding me.

SAM: Why would they do this?

CASTIEL: Maybe they're desperate. Maybe they wrongly assumed Dean would be brave enough to withstand them.

DEAN: Alright, you know what? Blow me, Cas.

///

DEAN: We're working on "the power of love.”

ADAM: How's that going?

DEAN: Mmm. Not good.

///

DEAN: Well, Cas, not for nothing, but the last person who looked at me like that…I got laid.

///

CASTIEL: Dean? Dean?

DEAN: Cas.

DEAN has an angel banishing sigil drawn on the inside of a cabinet. He presses his hand to it, sending CASTIEL away screaming. DEAN escapes.

///

CASTIEL touches the PREACHER and he falls to the ground, unconscious. He drags DEAN into the nearby alley and beats him up.

DEAN: What, are you crazy?

CASTIEL: I rebelled for this?! So that you could surrender to them?

DEAN: Cas! Please!

CASTIEL: I gave everything for you. And this is what you give to me.

DEAN: Do it. Just do it!

CASTIEL unclenches his fist and touches DEAN’s shoulder, knocking him out.

///

SAM: Tell me again why you don’t just grab Adam and shazam the hell out of there.

CASTIEL: Because there are at least five angels in there.

DEAN: So? You’re fast.

CASTIEL: They’re faster.

CASTIEL takes off his tie and wraps it around his palm.

CASTIEL: I’ll clear them out. You two grab the boy. This is our only chance.

DEAN: Whoa, wait. You’re gonna take on five angels?

CASTIEL: Yes.

DEAN: Isn’t that suicide?

CASTIEL: Maybe it is. But then I won’t have to watch you fail. I’m sorry, Dean. I don’t have the same faith in you that Sam does.

///

5x20

DEAN We all thought you were Dead. Where the hell are you, man?

(cut to Castiel in a hospital bed)

CASTIEL: A hospital.

DEAN: Are you okay?

CASTIEL: No.

DEAN: You want to elaborate?

CASTIEL: I just woke up here. The doctors were fairly surprised. They thought I was brain-dead.

CASTIEL: I can't "zap" anywhere.

DEAN: What do you mean?

CASTIEL: You could say my batteries are -- are drained.

DEAN: What do you mean? You're out of angel mojo?

CASTIEL: I'm saying that I am thirsty and my head aches. I have a bug bite that itches no matter how much I scratch it, and I'm saying that I'm just incredibly...

DEAN: Human. Wow. Sorry.

CASTIEL: Well, my point is -- I can't go anywhere without money for...an airplane ride. And food. And more pain medication, ideally.

DEAN: All right. Well, look, no worries. Uh, Bobby's here. He'll wire you the cash.

CASTIEL: Dean, wait.

BOBBY: I will?

CASTIEL: You said "no" to Michael. I owe you an apology.

DEAN Cas...I-it's okay.

CASTIEL: You are not the burnt and broken shell of a man that I believed you to be.

DEAN: Thank you. I appreciate that.

CASTIEL: You're welcome.

///

CASTIEL: It's starting.

DEAN: Yeah, you think, genius?

CASTIEL: You don't have to be mean.

DEAN: So what do we do now?

CASTIEL: I suggest we imbibe copious quantities of alcohol... Just wait for the inevitable blast wave.

DEAN: Yeah, swell. Thank you, Bukowski. I-I mean, how do we stop it?

CASTIEL: We don't. Lucifer will meet Michael on the chosen field, and the battle of Armageddon begins.

DEAN: Okay, well, where's this chosen field?

CASTIEL: I don't know.

DEAN: Well, there's got to be something that we can do.

CASTIEL: I'm sorry, Dean. This is over.

DEAN: You listen to me, you junkless sissy – we are not giving up! Bobby? Bobby?

BOBBY: There was never much hope to begin with. I don't know what to do.

///

DEAN: So, what, you're the new sheriff in town?

CASTIEL: I like that. Yeah. I suppose I am.

DEAN: Wow. God gives you a brand-new, shiny set of wings, and suddenly you're his bitch again.

CASTIEL: I don't know what God wants. I don't know if he'll even return. It just... seems like the right thing to do.

DEAN: Well, if you do see him, you tell him I'm coming for him next.

CASTIEL: You're angry.

DEAN: That's an understatement.

CASTIEL: He helped. Maybe even more than we realize.

DEAN: That's easy for you to say. He brought you back. But what about Sam? What about me, huh? Where's my grand prize? All I got is my brother in a hole!

CASTIEL: You got what you asked for, Dean. No paradise. No hell. Just more of the same. I mean it, Dean. What would you rather have? Peace or freedom?

When DEAN looks over, CASTIEL is gone.

DEAN: Well, you really suck at goodbyes, you know that?

[cor-ardens-archive]

the loved ones. the finger sucking scene. it looked like they were both into it until they were interrupted by the dad. all the torture scenes did something to me honestly, i was wayyyy to young and it wired my brain wrongly.

i used to really like that movie! can't say it appealed to me in that way because i think i thought the whole thing was kind of gross, but not gross in that appealing way. but i understand, given the other kind of gross movies that get to me!

[ducknotinarow]

[Because Steve hasn't had a lot of interaction with this whole plot yet ;3;]

Peggy frowned, bags beneath her eyes as she stared at Steve through the glass cell. She didn't agree with him being locked up for having emotions, for being, understandably, angry and upset, at what Red Skull has done. She had attempted to get JARVIS to open the Cell door, but, Tony had given strict instructions: the AI can only free Steve from 'time out' when either Tony, or Brooklyn herself, gives the okay.

Sighing, she rests her head against the side of the glass, brunette hair a complete mess. The team was, well, wasn't handling any of it well. It's bad enough when an innocent is hurt, yet it dug deeper when one of their own hangs in such a balance,

"I'm sorry Steve, nothing to report," She mutters, "There's still brain activity, but she isn't awake yet..."

Peggy couldn't wait for the moment she could tell Steve Brooklyn was okay. They were all waiting though. Peggy was concerned for Brooklyn, of course, but she also worried deeply for both Nina and Steve - especially Steve, considering where he was right now,

"Do you need to talk?" Peggy offers, "A dumb question, I know, but it can't be good being locked up in here..."

| Muse interaction A red gloved fist slammed in against the glass casing of the 'Hulk cage' with hardly any reaction, Of course, this was built with the intention of being able to contain Bruce when he was Hulked out. Hard to say for sure if it would be enough to actually hold them when in a Hulk-level rage. It ended up being used for other uses and reasons it may not hold Hulk in the end but it was still strong enough to stand up to A Captain America level of rage. Annoyed by the fact, that he couldn't bust right out of here no matter how mad he got. They even took his shield from him, just in case the metal of the vibranium shield would in the least crack it enough for Steve to take advantage of. Moving to sit down on the ground legs kicked out from under him as his back pressed to the glass.

Steve, was forced into the cage due to his out lashing about putting a hole through Red Skull as payback for what he had done to his daughter. To the rest of the team, he was reacting in his anger. Maybe in part that was true. It wasn't the driving force for him though.

Eye's focused on his hand as he flexed his fingers in and out into a closed fist a few times over and over again. He would love to hit them right across that ugly mug of thiers. He took her from his hold so long ago, took her hand and they walked out of that base together that should..that should have been the end of all her pain and torture he put her through. Steve knew Brooklyn was weak and fragile he even was maybe foolish enough to believe the second she promised Nina she would be okay that well she would be okay in the end. Brooklyn was built of tougher stuff than most would ever give her credit for. She would pull through. But the moment he saw her in the bed wires and machines were all connected and hooked up to his baby. How pale her skin was, eyes wide and full of wonder nearly able to keep open drained and needing sleep. Steve just saw his daughter who needed him but Steve couldn’t do anything about her condition can’t make her just better. Hell not even Tony ca do that, what he could do though? Is taken down Skull and lock him up for good then he can never, NEVER. Do something like this to his daughter again. Head learning back feel the glass of the cage press against blonde locks of hair. Steve couldn’t even do that right now..is daughter needed him how was he meant to be there for her when he was wrongly being locked up like this.

From the corner of his eye though he seen brown hair, turning a bit as if they were resting their head against the other he found Peggy, seemed she wasn’t able to get him out still. Thanks Tony. Steve couldn’t recall a time her hair was such a mess like it was right now, he could even make out the bags under her eyes guess she was missing out on catching z’s herself. He knew she didn’t have good news from the frown on her face, but he was dumb enough to hope it was fatigue catching up to her to make it hard for her to smile in that moment.

"I'm sorry Steve, nothing to report,"

Was it possible to still be disappointed when in part you weren’t expecting any good news in the first place. Instead Steve just turned letting the back of his head rest to the glass once more. How long was she going to b asleep? How long has it been since she went into her coma? A couple of weeks right?

"There's still brain activity, but she isn't awake yet..."

“That’s good.” He mumbled out, leaning forward some what now as he held on the the sides of his head, letting fringes cradle through his hair. Foot began to tap against the floor. He was growing restless, just sitting here four hours. Day after day passing by at such an incredibly slow pace and Brook wasn’t getting better well she didn’t have a hole in her chest that was better but to Steve better was awake at least. She was still lost away in sleep part of him wanted to crack a joke that this was because of all the nights she spent not sleeping catching up to her finally. Wasn’t easy to make a joke though, he wished Nina was here she always seemed to know how to work one a smile to Steve even when he was mad at her. Last time he saw her though she looked well hopeless. Steve needed to be there for her too yet here he was locked up couldn’t even offer her some support she hadn’t come to see him. Nina must be a wreck right now, she may be putting on a tough act but Steve knew she was in need of a shoulder herself. Great he could do anything for either of his girls right now.

"Do you need to talk?"

Letting his hands drop when listening to Peggy offer

"A dumb question, I know, but it can't be good being locked up in here..."

“Of course it’s not I can’t be there for either of them Pegs.” He said defeat heavily in his tone, “Why does he always find a way to take things from me? If it wasn’t for him I wouldn’t have lost out on everything but at the same time, I wouldn’t be here now or have my girls. Be stuck in this cage because he just won't let her live. Why? Because he feels he has a claim on her life? it's here life Peggy. It's her to do with what she wants. To read all the strange books she wants, to combine weird food and call it good. That's what she should be doing..not being laid up in bed like this. Frustration was running high one more.

"Pegs?" a crack in his tone the frustration was still there but so was a deep-seated sadness he often didn't look to but every so often this fear came to the soldier. "You can't save everyone....I've learned that the hard way I still try though but some do slip through the cracks...what if she's one of the ones I can't?"

[justanothersyscourse]

Sorry if I word this really badly I honestly have no idea how to phrase this... concept? Its something I've only really seen in I guess system oriented spaces.

But its like this idea that once you I guess achieved healthy multiplicity or such then you arent disordered. Or something like that. Like one person we saw said that they would stop calling themselves an osdd system and instead will call themselves plural once they achieve that.

We genuinely want to hear your opinion cause I dont knkw if we missed something about this but we really don't understand this idea?

From our understanding you dont just stop having a disorder just cause it doesnt cause you that or any problems anymore?

Does this have something to do with people attributing their systemhood to an identity?

I genuinely mean no malice or hate. I am just so very confused here!

This is a FANTASTIC question-- I absolutely love it. Seriously.

And it’s actually got a very simple answer!

No. That’s not how it works.

LOL!

Normally, when people say this, they’re referring to criteria C for dysfunction. Many wrongly assume that (1) the alters are what are causing dysfunction, and (2) that dysfunction is something measurable and noticeable. Once they’re “functional” they can lose the diagnosis.

But no, that’s not how it works. 

Even if you integrate or -gasp- reach final fusion, you wouldn’t necessarily lose your diagnosis, because you can continue to “split” for the rest of your life. You can fuse every single alter you have currently, and 10 years from now, encounter a stressful situation and split a new alter. Once you initially split in childhood, you will always be DID/OSDD simply by virtue of brain formation and your ability to continue to split.

For those who reach “optimal functionality”-- this is a state that may not last. The addition of new alters can throw the system back into disarray, and the brain handles stress differently at a basic level. Like with any disorder, just because it goes into remission, or you find you “suffer” less from different aspects of the disorder, doesn’t mean you’re suddenly NOT X. You’re still wired differently and it can present in different ways as you get older. 

If you also look at this post, as I said, “dysfunction” isn’t something that can be measured. The DSM itself accounts for “high functioning” disordered systems. Just because you’re functioning doesn’t mean you’re not disordered. You’re disordered by virtue of the changes to your brain and your multiplicity. Criteria C is a redundant, circular criterion meant only to signify that “a disorder is a disorder”. It doesn’t actually mean anything. 

I hope this made sense, if you want any clarifications or any further information, please don’t hesitate to reach out!

And again, this was an amazing ask. Thank you!

[irrfahrer]

“Close To You” (being stuck in a closet or something lmao)

Send me “Close To You” for my muse’s reaction to our muses being caught in a scenario where they are stuck in a small space together, pressed up against one another will little to no space between them. Hands brush against each other, noses touch, breath is felt.

Breath in , Breath out, Ziv Forced herself to breath in and Breath out. Breath in, breath out, although her small paws were shaking  Ziv Forced herself to breath in and breath out. Breath in, breath out, although the panic was closin aorund her throat like a brutal hand  Ziv Forced herself to breath in and breath out. The Tynnan had to crane her neck and point her snout up to be able to stand for if she would look infront of her her muzzle would not fit between her and Ariadne and the durasteelwall of the closet in her back. A thin wire of pain turned from the back of her head down to her hips along her spine and boring its way down into her knees and hindpaws. "You know, I love beeing close to people I like-” ; just because she was desperate Ziv again reached to the side in a try to push open the small closets door, but the cleaning droid on the other side was still all so accidentally leaned against it while they were scrubbing the durasteeltiles of the floor. The closet around them had a grey ceiling, grey walls, a grey floor and a grey door that wrapped around them like prisonwalls that  came closer, came closer, came closer. “-and my kriffing touch-starved self has nothing against some kriffing close physical contact as in fact I kriffing love it and in the right situations I have nothing against my face beeing pressed in the bellys of other people, but right now this is really not kriffing sexy in the kriffing slightest, nothing against you, pup, but-" Breath in , Breath out, although her throat was too thight to speak Ziv forced herself to breath in and breath out. Breath in, breath out, although she technically knew that she was safe  Ziv forced herself to breath in and breath out. Breath in, breath out, although she knew it was stupidto react like this Ziv forced herself to breath in and breath out. In the logical part of her brain the young woman was keenly aware that what she was thinking was stupid and yet she also was so very aware that she was in a literal big tin in the middle of space, that at every second it only needed one single not working wire that could disturb the artificial atmosphere  to turn this shell into her coffin, that she was trapped in this steel shell for everything beyond its walls was soundless  and airless and frozen dead, that those walls were so close and seemed to come closer. "-I could imagine like a kriffing dozen other places where I would totally kriffing enjoy that my snout is right there on you, yet this is just so kriffing kriffed up-" the brutal hand of panic closed around her throat tighter, tighter, tighter. The Tynnan knew that there were million over million of people traveling through space and living on starstations right now at this second and that there was no chance that anything in this starstations wires in tis second could work wrongly, yet still Ziv felt like this, yet still Ziv feared it, yet still Ziv paniced over the possibility.

"....ahhahhhahhhahhh...-", the young woman did not scream, but her quiet sigh was trembling from a laughter that was much too tensed and helpless to be real.  The panic turned in her guts like a parasite and she culd not breath, could not breath, could not breath. Ziv forced herself to breath iin, then out, breath iin, then out, breath in, then out while every breath hurted as if she was breathin acid : "...this is really not kriffing nice, Love."

[lilallama]

(Sorry if I spell something wrongly lol) Idk, This is my opinion? Gryffindor, Jungkook. Hufflepuff, Taehyung & Yoongi. Ravenclaw, Namjoon & Jin. Slytherin, Jimin & Hobi??? I literally just searched the meaning of each house and just picked one based on the personality shown. Also, If you don't think this matches them, Sorry ;-;

[Don't worry, sweetie ^^. You don't have to apologise! 💕🍑]

Hoseok is a lot more two faced than I actually tend to show. The way he presents himself is mostly a mask. While he seems mostly calm on the outside, he's actually quite the opposite on the inside. Out of all the boys it'd be easiest for him to manipulate/influence Y/n (@bangtans-apollo Tae is quacking-) and he's aware of that. That's one of the reasons why they started the club 1. To protect Y/n, 2. The club concept came because it'd be easier to meet up and they would automatically get a clubroom and 3. Hoseok threatened to tell on them if they don't join, he'd make Y/n despise each one of them.

He is a strong leader (one of the Slytherin traits), I try to make him resourceful (but I am not myself so that might not shine through too much), he is definitely cunning. The whole ordeal with wanting to be with Y/n no matter what is pretty ambitious, I'd say. And lastly the traditionalism trait, he is very into tradition and has to keep his domestic fantasies with Y/n a secret. His parents raised him very traditional, he would hate it if (female) Y/n would ask him out first or would propose first and would at first frown upon his attention to (male or non binary) Y/n.

All in all Slytherin seems very accurate.

Now concerning Jimin; similar to Hoseok he too can be a two faced snake. He doesn't hide his true thoughts from Y/n or the boys, if anything he overshares sometimes (one time he started talking to Taehyung about some... rather inappropriate things concerning Y/n. That got his Y/n privilege taken away for a whole month). And despite practically pleading to be the "dumb bimbo" stereotype, he is surprisingly clever and intelligent. Before Highschool, before he made his first experiences with popular boys, he was a straight A's and B's student. Yet once he had his first boyfriend, he discovered that the people surrounding him typically preferred the dumb blondes. (He actually broke up with the captain of the football team for Y/n.)

He also sometimes displays ambitious, just in a whiney sort of way. Self preservation is definitely something. Unlike Taehyung, Yoongi, Namjoon or Jeongguk, he wouldn't let himself be killed for Y/n's sake. If Y/n were to be killed he would end up deluding himself into thinking a person who looks similar to them is them and would force Y/n's personality and style on them. Cunningness is 100% accurate. He's fake. He pretends to be a silly sweetheart who loves everyone but will spread rumours about you, blame things on you etc. and everyone believes him. His cunningness concerning Y/n is more whiney than anything.

So I do think Jimin fits Slytherin.

Namjoon was raised by strict parents who forbade him a tremendous amount of things and painted his world for him. It was engraved in his head, he was going to be the CEO of their company one day. Yet despite everything he still had a head of his own. Maye it was because if his high IQ that he understood that his parents weren't the only opinion in his life. Don't get me wrong, they still left him scarred (sadly literally, as his father once hit him bloody) and traumatised but not without a mind of his own. Ever since he was small creativity and originality was something he admired and loved. It was partly reason of why he fell for Y/n, their individuality, their mind, their heart, their soul.

We will not need to discuss intelligence, it's a trait he undoubtedly has. He is always willing to learn and showed interest in many different things before Y/n captured his focus. He is most likely one of the wisest members as he is aware of how twisted his love for them truly is (once again something I tend to fail at portraying) and tried to stop it when it started. But somehow that only made everything worse and by now he doesn't care anymore at all. When he was a child he used to be more openly curious than nowadays (as it caused him many punishments from his parents).

I feel that Namjoon would fit Ravenclaw.

Seokjin was spoiled all his life. His parents adored him, other kids adored him, everyone adored him. While he might've acted oblivious he knew that it's because of his money. Similar to Jimin, Seokjin changed when he entered high school. While he always was a pretty intelligent and well behaved student (still very arrogant though) he then became less concerned with studies and once made a teacher cry (that was before he met Y/n). He loves standing out as an individual, that includes making anyone change who crosses his path with the same outfit (not in school as they wear a school uniform. But outside, yes, he has that much power. Everyone knows Kim Seokjin).

As said before, Seokjin is far from stupid. He is a very intelligent individual but doesn't show the extent of his nolage. Instead aiming for a cool "Queen B" persona. He is witty with his comebacks (something I cannot write because I do not possess that superpower), he's quick with his words. He holds respect for people who are 60+ years old as he believes they've been through a lot in life already. These people have wisdom he could only gain by experience and that he respects (there is one very sweet lady that lives alone in a very big mansion a few streets away from his penthouse. He always visits her because he loves her genuine kindness. When he met Y/n she recently passed away and he saw a part of her in them).

Seokjin could qualify for a Ravenclaw.

Taehyung was raised by a very Christian family that he still cherishes very much. Because of their intense belief he was raised to worship. He never fell in love, so when Y/n crossed paths with his, he started showing love how he's used to it (Out of all the boys Taehyung is straight up insane. Something in his brain might be wired wrong, there is no explanation on why he likes them, on why he believed that's what love is because his parents treated him with normal, familiar love. So he is simply sick, there is no "saving" him. He's better of in a mental hospital). But he was always a very kind boy. Giving instead of taking, never wanting anything in return. Out of everyone, Taehyung was the one who welcomed new students and made tons of friends. But he grew out of it as his focus turned to art. He aimed to make his parents proud so he didn't have time for friends.

His loyalty is unlike any other. You could torture him half dead and he'd still forgive you, stay loyal to you, serve you. He is Y/n's servant. He works hard on improving his artistic abilities and also to maintain fairly good grades. For Y/n any labour he'd have to be put through would seem like a blessing. Another trait for Hufflepuff would be fairness and he surely is fair. As one of the least jealous members of the club he really only cares if Y/n's okay with what's happening or could get hurt (he always kets the other members have more privileges than he has because he believes it'd be not only greedy but prideful to want Y/n to hinself. He avoids any sin when it comes to Y/n, envy, wrath, pride, sloth, nothing will ever come near his modern day Jesus).

Taehyung definitely is a Hufflepuff.

If the boy who works two parttime jobs, to pay for rent, bills and food, cleans the shabby apartment by himself because his alcoholic mother is busy messing it up again, yet still treats his mother with kindness, only to be treated like trash by seven more powerful and successful guys in his school who all like the same person he does and still manages to maintain the position as intern and honour roll student at a prestigious school for roch people, isn't in Hufflepuff then I don't know what. This poor soul is incredibly sensitive and kind. He isn't judgemental (as he himself is used to people judging him). All round very sweet.

I think it's very clear that he's very diligent and hard working. He holds great passion for music and enjoys writing poetry, a very sensitive soul. Yoongi isn't someone to complain about something being unfair (cough cough Jimin cough cough) or try and steal Y/n away from them. His day dreams consist of imagining Y/n liking him back, but he is certain that would never happen (according to you guys, it seems a lot of you would pick Yoongi if you'd get to decide). Not only is Yoongi kind but loyal as well, he'd never imagine leaving anyone behind even his useless mother.

Yoongi is 1000% a Hufflepuff.

Jeongguk tends to be hot tempered, he goes from zero to a hundred in a matter of seconds. Everything in life seems like a challenge to prove he's better than others think (his father was a notorious serial killer who killed twenty one people yet got away with a ten year prison sentence and got released after six, ten months later Jeongguk was born). In truth he did not care for anyone else, only Y/n. So all tge chivalry he could muster was directed at them.

He is one brave guy who doesn't get easily scared (I guess living with as well as being a serial killer at sixteen years old desensitised him). Jeongguk is courageous just not in/for a positive way/purpose. He deluted himself into thinking that Y/n needs protection, HIS protection. He once attacked a teacher because they were helping Y/n with a question, that's very daring (more like stupid) just not in a good way. A (still not) more positive example of his daringness is when he wants to impress Y/n. He hung from a skyscraper for five minutes doing pullups, just to inpress them. One time he also jumped across his luxurious pool at home (and almost slipped, almost bashing his head in) just to prove that he can jump further than someone they talked about.

I could very much picture him as a Griffendor.

If you enjoyed reading my work, please consider reblogging it. Thank you for reading

[roses-ruby]

Come Home To Me Darling | Drabble

So aha I am a scammer cause I said I wouldn’t do this but here we are 🤡 Actually I just have pretty bad writer's block for most of my other WIPs so yeet anything that makes me feel like a real writer right now really helps. The drabble originated from this ask.

Based off of this original story: CHTMD

Genre: Fluff, Slight Angst

Word Count: 3k

“And so that’s how I got my hands on those beautiful roses.”

The bunny toothed man smiles and messes with his hair for the third time – pinching the edges of his side bangs and straightening his back even further. He was nervous, maybe even more than you.

“Your sister sounds very kind.” You giggle

“She is! Both her and my mother…they would love to meet you.”

The sincerity in his voice melts your heart, even though you felt yourself tense at the very thought of meeting his family. This was obviously not something you had to fret over at the moment, but your feverish mind continues to plague you with useless concerns. Like if your hair was out of place, or if you had something on your teeth or if you should touch up your makeup again.

And one from further below, asking you where he went after you left. As if you ever knew.

“___?” You hear a sweet voice gently call out your name. The silk warmth of a large hand drapes over yours that lies perfectly still on the creamy tablecloth.

“Hmm?”

“Are you alright? You seem distracted…”

“Oh! N-No- I mean yes, I’m fine.” With rushed words, you squeeze his hand back. Your heart pounding loudly when he blushes and beams.

Although that was a lie and more than anything, you wished you could tell him the truth. About how uncertain you were of everything right now. How much it hurt to sit still. It was just a few days ago that you officially ended your seven-year relationship, and nothing made sense anymore. Everything inside you was antsy.

“I hope this place is alright for you.” Jungkook quips, as bright as ever.

“It’s wonderful.” You smile with your eyes as you watch him purse his lips. Jimin never said anything like that when you went out. For him…he always had this confident air about him, and some might say he was filled to the brim with arrogance when it concerned you. That there wasn’t a doubt in his mind when he was with you. Perhaps all of it could be blamed on your submission for the vixen. Submission you’ve grown to resent.

“I know you’ll love this place.”

He’d say whenever he took you out. The small amount of times he did, that is. And maybe that’s why you remember all of them so well – since there wasn’t much to remember. Not much but him...the way he’d smile, the twinkle in his eyes. But unlike most times, thinking about him didn’t bring you any happiness. Instead you felt a bitter taste around your mouth. Something you wanted to wash away quickly.

“Wine.” Whispering out loud, you stare at the empty wine glass beside your cutlery. The fidgeting man in front of you gasps underneath his breath, quickly gesturing for a waiter. You were awfully thankful he did since you were never good at even these tiny public interactions. Jimin always did everything for you too.

The waiter hurried over, standing with his hand behind his back like a true professional. Jungkook asked for the finest bottle of wine and you had to hide a grin at him trying to impress you with his wine knowledge. When the waiter brought over a Nebbiolo, he insisted on opening it himself.

“J-Jungkook…” You say quietly, watching the muscle bunny struggle with the cork. “Maybe we should call for the waiter again.”

“It’s alright!” He says, furrowing his brows in concentration. “I got it. I’ve opened many…many wines before.”

Right…you forgot how competitive he was, you think as you try not to break into laughter at his earnestness. Would Jimin do something like this? You don’t think you’ve ever had to watch Jimin struggle for anything. Except for the day you left him. Inevitably your mind wandered back to your apartment and you couldn’t help but wonder where he was, right now, in this moment. For some reason you were worried…it wasn’t like you heard anything back from him. Which was an occurrence you thought you’d be used to by now.

What did you expect him to say though? Of course, you wouldn’t see him again. You laid your feelings – or lack thereof out for him clearly and that chapter of your life was now closed. So, what were you expecting? Maybe a part of you wanted the grand Hollywood ending. One where the guy realizes his mistakes and apologizes for hurting you.

Because that was the main truth wasn’t it…you were hurt, weren’t you?

You were startled out of your thoughts when you heard a loud pop and the icky sensation of something wet splashing all over you. Your jaw drops open as you make eye contact with Jungkook who had a similar expression – if not one more horrified.

_

“I’m so, so, so, so, sorry.”

“I know, I know, I get it Jungkook. You don’t have to apologize a million times.” You couldn’t help but laugh at the pain in the assailant’s voice. He sounded like he was about to cry.

A white blouse may have been a bad idea for a first date after all. What did you wear on your first date with Jimin? Green, wasn’t it?

You remove your top, cringing at the way the soiled cloth stuck to your skin. The cramped stall of the restroom reminded you of that night – for the shortest second before you shook your head awake. No way did you want to recall that horrible night where you lost yourself for a moment…in that space…with that man….and his talented fingers.

Taehyung…

Again, you shake your body in denial to wake yourself up and end up hitting your elbow against the wall. You bite your lip to hold yourself back from screaming out in agony.

“___? Are you alright?” Comes the concerned voice of Jeon Jungkook.

“Mm- Just fine!” You chuckle awkwardly, trying to conceal the wound in your own voice.

With a sigh, you hold up your blouse in front of you, checking on the damage. Those hours you spent fretting and whining about your first date outfit were officially for nothing. Irene was gonna kill you. And you didn’t even have anything extra to cover yourself with.

As soon as you think that, an overhead draping sound distracts you from the issue in your hands. You look up, surprised to see Jungkook’s black coat hanging on the wall.

“W…wear my coat for now…just until we get the stain out of your shirt…”

“…Alright. T-thank you.”

Hesitantly, you pull down his coat and hold it in your hands. Oh…it smells like him. Not wanting Jungkook to wait outside any longer, you quickly put the coat on and button it up, trying to ignore the way his cologne engulfed your senses.

You step out slowly, mingling with the fabric of your blouse until you meet Jungkook’s gaze.

“O-oh…” He breathes out, his eyes widening and hand rushing up to itch the back of his head. There was a lot he had to say about the way you looked, wrapped up in his coat…the way you had to roll up the sleeves, and the way the collar was too loose, but the words seemed stuck in his throat. Jungkook always wore baggy clothes but he didn’t realize just how big they’d be on other people. More specifically, you.

“The…umm…your short- I mean shirt- ahem shirt,” He coughs, extending his hand, “I’ll take care of it.”

You raise an eyebrow at him. What did he mean ‘take care of it’?

Nonetheless, you hand it to him.

He rushes to the sink and your face falls when he turns on the faucet.

“Jungkook!” You run up behind him. He rolls up his dress sleeves and you couldn’t help but peek at the veins protruding in his arms. Just for a teeny second.

“I-I don’t think, aha I mean- I just bought this today!” You laugh breathlessly, “I can just you know…d-d-dry cleaning is a thing, you know that, right? Dry cleaning?”

“I couldn’t allow you to waste your money because of me!” He states assuringly, “Don’t worry, I am a god at laundry. Back home – I do all the clothes, my mom and sister’s too. I’ve cleaned many things, don’t worry!”

Your mouth opens and closes like a fish as you receive déjà vu from a similar situation just a few minutes ago. But while you’re meditating on what to say, he dips your blouse underneath the open faucet and begins scrubbing away vigorously. All that was left to do was watch.

Helplessly.

As your top becomes sopping wet. As the restroom slowly starts resembling a crime scene. As the red liquid spreads everywhere – the rest of your blouse, the ceramic sink, the bunny’s hands.

Soon, the faucet is turned off and you’re left in the silence of the laundry disaster aftermath.

You scoff, staring at your irreversibly ruined blouse.

Jungkook gulps, holding the wet mesh still as the water drips into the sink and down the drain.

“I…again, I’m so sorry. I’ll pay for dry cleaning- actually that’s what I should have offered in the first place, I-I don’t know why I didn’t think of it. A-actually sometimes I can be pretty dumb! My sister says that I should probably learn to understand facial cues, but I-I don’t know, I’m pretty dense you know? I-”

“Pfft.” You purse your lips.

“Huh?”

Another snicker leaves you at his petrified doe eyes. His own shirt was slightly ruined with wine splatters and his hair was fussed up with how much energy he spent in scrubbing your shirt. He looked so silly holding your blob of a top over the sink and rambling on with a voice that stuttered and squeaked.

Your shoulders start shaking the more you try to stop yourself. But it fails and suddenly, you burst out into a colorful shade of laughter.

Jungkook stares at you with a blank expression.

“I-I’m sorr-” You manage to make out, “I-It’s just…well…I thought I was bad at dates…”

You stiffen up after your confession, wondering how he would react. The truth was, Jungkook was too damn cute and there was no way you could be mad at him and his sincerity. Knowing your now ex, he’d throw a whiny tantrum. So, for a second- because your brain was still wrongly wired, you prepare for that particular situation. For him to whine like Jimin.

But it never comes. Instead, you watch your date break out into the biggest smile of his own. Complete with the bunny teeth and dimples.

“I guess…I am pretty bad at dates…” He chuckles and you nod, laughing along.

Huh…it was different.

You both stand there; you with your soaked bra and men’s coat and him with his colored dress shirt and arms dampened with watery red – like the two biggest dorks with the biggest grins on your faces. Like there was no one else in the world. And you can’t remember a similar time where you’ve laughed like this with Jimin. But actually…you don’t care.

Until you hear the door open and the sound of heels step into the foyer. You both whirl your heads towards the restaurant’s restroom doorway and spot an old lady in heavy makeup, who stops in her tracks when she spots you both and stares back with an equally startled expression.

Her confusion turns to horror and she gasps as she glances at the bloody wine-stained blouse in Jungkook’s hands.

You turn back to Jungkook with wide eyes, who immediately turns back to you.

“We should go.”

“Right. I’ll walk you home.”

_

The wind blows through your strands and you hold Jungkook’s hand just a little bit tighter to stop yourself from feeling a chill.

You weren’t sure what it was, but the city was brighter than usual tonight. The reason was most likely the fact that you don’t get out much – or you haven’t until just recently. There was an amorous muted illumination on the streets you walked along. Since you were so used to a certain confined area, when you stepped out into the fast-paced world, you were much more observant. Of all the vivid colors and gales of the night. And of the tall buildings that laid asleep, and the pavement against your feet.

And especially of the quiet man next to you.

It wasn’t hauntingly soundless or lonely as your days on the terrace either. Many people still lingered the perimeter since your date was cut short by some special accidents and it was still early out. Compared to them, you and Jungkook moved at a much slower rate, in a hush as if to stall the moment. Make it last for a second- a minute- a while longer.

Was Jimin’s silence this serene? No, it wasn’t. You often spent time hating yourself between the hushed cracks of your relationship. When he was speaking, all you could think about was him. How you’d do anything for him. When he wasn’t…you wanted to strangle the pain out of your heart. The pain caused by his lies and infidelity.

“This is it…” You say, as you look up at Irene’s apartment building.

“You live here with your friend, right?”

“Mhm, my friend who’s going to kill me for coming back early. Maybe that’s for the best since that lady thinks I’m a murderer now. Her and whoever finds my shirt in the restroom’s trash.”

Jungkook lets out a breathless laugh, “I know I’m just repeating myself, but I really am sorry about spilling wine on you, and then ruining your shirt. And not knowing that you were my boss- My god! I mean I just spoke to you so casually arghh-”

He begins to ruffle his hair in frustration and embarrassment, but you step close to him and grab his wrists.

“Oh please, Jungkook, I’m the one who should have told you straight up! I think…I just enjoyed how casual you were around me. It didn’t feel like I was putting up a false pretense, even if I was. I had fun…I always have fun with you.”

I’m always me when I’m with you. Jungkook removes his arms from his face so he could take a good look at you, watching the way the night air played with your hair. You were so beautiful, so graceful, and he wondered if you knew it.

“Me too…I have fun with you. That one pretty donut really sparked up the best challenge.”

You smile at his reply and he had to do everything in his power to stop himself from kissing you.

“Hey, uhm…” Jungkook stares at the ground, replacing the wrists in your hands with his palms. “I don’t know if…would you like to see me again? S-soon? I mean…i-if you want.”

He really was the most endearing man, you think, as you watch him stutter. The complete opposite of your ex-husband.

Your smile falls.

When you don’t answer, Jungkook looks back up at you apprehensively.

“___? Do you not want to see me again?”

You still didn’t answer him…you couldn’t. Even the night couldn’t stop him from glowing. From the scar on his cheek, to his fluffy mess of hair, to his pink lips you tried your best not to leer at. He was undeniably handsome. Here was this beautiful young soul who gave you true laughter and a swooning heart for the first time in seven years, and then here was you. Someone who compared him to her ex the whole date.

Someone who thought about her ex the whole date.

And why was that? Didn’t you say that you didn’t love Jimin? That was true. You spent many hours in conversation with yourself and when you look inside, you don’t love Park Jimin. But it’s not so easy to forget everything else, is it? Seven years isn’t just some passed time – it’s a way of life.

You were someone for seven years and that someone happened to be the woman who loved Park Jimin.

It wasn’t easy to forget, no matter how desperately you wanted to. The thing that infuriated you the most was that you had done nothing wrong. Why were you the one so broken inside? You didn’t cheat, you didn’t lie, you did nothing that was considered erroneous. So why you and not him? He should be the one who has to second guess everything…the one who feels scared and helpless and lost.

The one who has to carry all the pain.

You wish you could easily hand over your heart because it’s too big of a burden for you. There was a slight chance that the man in front of you could hold onto it safely.

But in reality, it was a broken and damaged heart. The shards carried more weight than anyone should bear. You were still caught in your feelings and Jungkook didn’t deserve that. Neither did you.

In the end, it was your responsibility. No matter how unfair it was and how resentful you felt towards Park Jimin. You made a mental note to mention about all these matters to Lin on your next appointment.

“__-”

“Jungkook I-”

You both interrupt each other’s thoughts. When you catch his eyes, Jungkook silently urges you to continue.

“Jungkook…I…I just got out of a seven-year relationship.”

For a moment, you wait for his reaction. He looks slightly taken aback, but nothing too extreme.

“And I’m…I’m not…ready yet. I’m not ready for another one.”

Jungkook nods, staring at you and then back at the pavement. It hurt your chest to reject him like this, but he deserved the truth.

“D-do you still-”

“He was my husband.”

His eyes shoot back to you, shock written along his young features. You look deep into his shiny orbs, before tightening the hold on his hands.

“Jungkook, I really, really like you. But I’m not ready yet…can you understand me?”

An unreadable silence falls upon you both. Jungkook stood there quietly, not breaking his gaze off you and you were certain that he knew you weren’t ready to speak to him about it. Not yet. A few seconds felt like hours as you planted your feet further against the sidewalk, nervously waiting for his reply. This was a lot of pressure to put upon someone, and you knew that. He deserved better. Which is why you would respect whatever Jungkook would say next…but you aren’t going to lie, if he left you right now, it would really hurt.

“I understand…I’ll wait for you.”

For a second you thought you hallucinated his answer, but when he smiled that bunny toothed smile you’ve come to love in such a short time, you felt tears well up in the corner of your eyes. You breathe out a laugh of relief.

Closing your eyelids, you try to hide your tears in case he misunderstands.

“I-I’m glad…thank you Jungkook.”

“No, thank you…for giving me a chance when you were still struggling to pick yourself up. I mean I am moving too fast, asking my former boss’ number out of nowhere and then kind of cheating on the challenge.” He says lightheartedly, “It’s why my offer still stands you know…I’ll still be your servant for a week if you want.”

“Shut up!” You hit his chest lightly with your fist, even though your cheeks felt like they would burst with your smile.

His large sleeves dangle on you as you move your wrists and you instantly remember you were still in his coat.

You gasp, “Jungkook, just wait here. I’ll go get changed and return your coat, alright?”

He shakes his head.

“No, keep it.”

You furrow your eyebrows at him.

“It looks expensive, Jungkook…I’ll just go take it off quickly.”

“No, it’s fine.”

You scoff, “Bu-”

“It gives you a reason to see me again.” He smirks

You didn’t even have time to respond before his lips were on you. Your mouth drops open as you feel him kiss your forehead and then pull back with the widest grin.

“See you around.” He says, before running off into the night.

You stand there, in front of your apartment building, in Jungkook’s coat, still trying to piece together the whole night. Even though your legs hurt from standing, you don’t regret it one bit. He was so strange…you would have wanted to see him again no matter what. With another scoff, you begin to laugh. Something you were doing a lot more of these days.

It was a nice feeling. Better than your past.

There was a lot of uncertainty moving forward. You were out of a job, living with your best friend, soon to be a divorcee who might own a bistro. Oh, and you had new peculiar friends like Yoongi, Taehyung and of course Jungkook. This date had officially been your first big step.

It was everything you didn’t imagine, but you loved it. Not for a second did you have to think about how to make your date happy…how to get him to pay attention to you. He was sincerely happy to be with you. And to you, that means everything.

Still, you wonder if he liked ratatouille. You didn’t want to have perfect that dish for nothing.

Looking back up at where Jungkook once stood, you relish the night wind for just a little while longer.

“Goodnight, Jeon Jungkook. Thank you for the roses.”

[dangermousie]

Hi hi I saw you taking asks about FoE and just really wanted to vent something I hope that’s ok!! I think ji won believing his words that he doesn’t love her shows the downside of her emotional drive because like any normal person that’s a stab in the gut. But it’s not really a confession! Because he says right after he doesn’t know how that feels! So how can he be certain? He’s working off assumptions from all his abound and it’s the same basis he has for thinking he doesn’t really love (cont)

(cont) love his sister or daughter either but that’s so clearly not true! His instinct has been to protect his sister above and beyond. We’ve SEEN him smiling and gentle and worried about his daughter when no ones around to impress or he’s caught off guard that eun ha notices so he’s not trying to impress her. It’s just tragically ironic that ji won believes his words because the act of saying ily is such a pivotal one in society that she lets that distract her over his actions 😭😭😭

Me: It’s more than OK, and not just because I agree 100%!

I love when he says that he doesn’t know what it [love] feels like. Because Ji Won, not unreasonably, interprets it as he doesn’t know what loving Ji Won feels like because he never felt love for her. But the audience can interpret it the way he really means it (even if he himself doesn’t realize this is how he means it) - he has never felt love before her so he has no basis of comparison or analysis that what he feels is love. (And yes, he clearly loved Hae Soo too, but once again, his brain has been so scrambled by his life, he couldn’t recognize that either.)

The thing is if someone actually drew him out about Ji Won, the way Hae Soo did in that scene in Moo Jin’s apartment when she kept pushing him to express how he felt even though he kept denying he felt anything - and of course he ultimately was able to put things into words and he felt plenty. If someone did that, Ji Won would realize he loves her even though this word wouldn’t occur to him for himself. He enjoys taking care of and spending time with her, he feels safe with her, he needs her on a basic level (she literally keeps the visions of his abusive father at bay), the thought of losing her gives him panic attacks, being with her has made him a lot more secure and attuned to emotions, and he obviously physically wants her too. And if all this combined isn’t love, then what is?

I do get why she was able to push back 14 years ago but not now - back then she was young and brash and frankly with less at stake. But they have been together for 14 years and he still says point blank to his sister he feels nothing (and not in a mean way designed to hurt but matter of fact), not to mention his file said he may not be able to feel at all. For a woman to realize (wrongly but reasonably) that she was the only one who felt love in this relationship and she lived next to a man who felt nothing - I can see why she is distraught.

The thing is I don’t know if he will ever be able to say “I love you” to her and feel he means it (because to him it’s like a dog trying to talk about Ancient Greece - doesn’t compute in his brain as something that is possible) but I think the drama will make it clear to her through their interactions that he does love her truly.

And the thing is - Hae Soo, for example, is able to interpret ‘Hyun Soo speak’ just fine because she grew up with him. He says “noona, I never thought of you, I did all of it for myself” and clearly doesn’t think he is lying and yet she’s reading “he threw away his life to take the blame for the crime I committed on himself and never even sought acknowledgment or gratitude and if that is not love, what is.” That is why he wants to walk away in Moo Jin’s apartment, insisting he feels nothing but she keeps pushing and pushing because she knows what he really means is “I am hurt and scared and have no idea how to process it” and he actually manages to express that!

Honestly, by the end of the ep, even denser than a cement block Moo Jin I think realizes Hyun Soo is capable of feeling, he just is horrifyingly bad at expressing them even to himself. 

So I hope Ji Won will join that club soon. Because he really needs to know she knows who he is and still loves him and will stick by him. His brain has been so messed up that while on one level he can believe Hae Soo loves him, he can totally interpret it away as “well she grew up with me and is my noona, so she is biologically obligated to“ (same as with Eun Ha - he brought her up from birth and takes care of her every need, of course she “has” to love him due to basic biology wiring.) But with Ji Won there is no such excuse - she is not his sister or his daughter, she does not have to love him. She chose to do so. And once he realizes she chooses to do so despite knowing who he is and what he is, maybe he will finally be able to realize he’s worth loving and, in turn, it means he can love back.

[avenging-criminal-bones]

You Got ‘Em

Irondad & Spiderson

Word Count: 1001

Warnings: plane crash, whump, angst

Summary: Sometimes you have to hurt in order to help.

* * * * *

The awful thing was that Peter actually felt it, when his shoulder slipped out of place. Bones sliding uncomfortably against each other in ways that they never ever should.

Peter was barely able to stifle his cries as Toomes had dragged his arm further and further out of its socket.

“I’m trying to save you!” Peter had screamed. And he did. Save him, that is.

But now, standing above Vulture’s unconscious body, Peter wanted it to feel more like a win. He hadn’t realized, it though. Realized that this ‘job’ wasn’t always bike thefts and cool flips.

Sometimes it was ugly. Sometimes it was broken families and fire.

Speaking of fire, Peter had really started to feel the smoke in his lungs.On top of what felt like broken ribs, you could imagine that it wasn’t fun. Satisfied with his webbed handcuffs and sloppily written note, Peter stumbled towards the big billboard to hide from the authorities. He wasn’t sure where his mask had been dropped and he wasn’t about to risk his identity. Not like this. It all just felt so pointless.

Peter wasn’t sure if it was the lack of oxygen or his badly dislocated shoulder, but whatever it was had gotten him good. The boy had barely made it past the fire when he was collapsing in an exhausted heap. Desperately trying to regain his breath, Peter dropped his head into his hands and let his eyes wire shut.

The boy wasn’t sure how much time passed. His mind was racing as he tried to sort out everything that was happening in his non-vigilante life. There is a dance that May is going to ask about. The dance that he was going to have to lie about to May. Liz is going to hate him. Or God. Liz. Her dad! Peter groaned quietly, the pain of the night finally weighing on him.

Peter drifted in and out of consciousness. The whole time just focusing on not giving into the pain of his shoulder. His bruised body was just screaming at him to give it a break. He was so out of it that he didn’t even hear sirens from the police that were there now.

“…eter?! Kid?! Talk to me, c'mon…”

Peter felt his head being lifted by someone. Someone with strong, yet gentle hands. He groaned, his shoulder pulsing miserably.

“Hey, hey, hey, you can’t sleep here Vanwinkle, c'mon.” Fingers tapping harshly against his face to match the tone of voice. Peter jerking away from them.

The injured boy shakes his head slowly, trying to get away from this new attacker. “S-Stop…”. He tried to bring his hands up protectively over his face, but his wrongly-healing shoulder was not having that. He let out a pained cry which got the soft hand’s attention.

“Whoa, whoa…” The voice above Peters head was softer this time. “Lemme see kid, lemme see… Jesus…”

Peter was about to wrench himself away from the probing hands again, but loud footsteps distracted him. Dazed and confused, Peter dug his heels into the sand and shoved himself further into the corner he’d been hiding in.

“What happened?” Different voice. Familiar voice.

“I don’t know, but his shoulders dislocated.”

“Shit.”

“It’s bad, I gotta set it now, he’s already healing wrong.”

Peter tried to process the fast paced conversation, but his brain felt like it was full of marbles. Everything was heavy and confusing. He could barely even figure out who was talking, much less what they were talking about.

He couldn’t think about it anymore though, because now there were hands on him again. One bracing itself on his chest, one gently gripping his bad shoulder. And it hur and it hurt like Hell.

Peter was trying to scramble away, vaguely aware of the stream of weak pleas leaving his mouth.

“Stop it stop it let go of me please–!”

Suddenly the last few hours of the intense battle came rushing back and Peter felt his brain arguing over fight or flight.

“PUT ME DOWN! PUT ME DOWN!” He screeched like a child, fighting back with any strength he had left. It wasn’t enough.

“Shh, shh, kid we’re trying help you, it’s okay, it’s okay… God, just hold still alright? It’ll be over soon I promise, just hold still.” Wait. Tony. That was Tony. “One… two… thr–”

The boy’s vision went white as a sickening crack resonated throughout the small corner. He was aware of a scream, but didn’t realize that it was coming from him. His scream, that slowly devolved into quiet sobs as he pulled his re-broken arm into his chest.

After a moment, Peter was guided forward into gentle, waiting arms.

“M-Mr. Sta-ark…?”

“Yeah. I gotcha, kid. Ambulance is coming, it’s okay…” Tony draped a thick blanket over Peter’s shivering form. “It’s alright, it’s just the shock, it’ll ease up.”

“I’m sorry–” Peter and Tony spoke in unison.

They paused, Peter still burying his face in his mentors shoulder. Tony spoke first, his voice coming out in gruff, emotional fragments. “Kid, I shouldn’t have taken your suit. This is my fault.”

Peter shook his head. “I-I shouldn’t h-have– I was s-stupid…”

Tony huffed a quiet laugh. “Yeah, well… it doesn’t matter.” He paused. “Where else you hurt, huh?”

Peter breathed shakily. “Um– I-I don’t know… everywhere?” He laughed an unamused laugh.

Tony grimaced, rubbing Peter’s back. He sucked in a breath at the sight of the boy’s tattered old suit. Burn marks and tears marring the soft fabric. God, the kid crashed a plane in fucking pajamas.

“Mr. Stark?” Peter asked.

“Yeah?”

“I got him… right?”

“Yeah. You got him.“ Tony nodded, pulling the battered teenager just a little closer. “You did good, kid. It’s all over now.”

[imagining-supernatural]

Avenging Angel: Part 42

Summary: You’ve spent the last five years on a dangerous mission to solve the crime that wrongly imprisoned your father. When the Winchesters find you half-frozen on the side of a mountain, they make it their own mission to save your life and make sure you stay alive. But after five years of uncovering horribly dark secrets, you’ve learned not to trust anyone. Especially people who seem like they have good intentions.

Word Count: 1714

Warnings: None

Avenging Angel Series Masterlist

*****

StonyGurl499: How’s the rich life treating you? ~t9

It had been a while since you’d been able to talk to t9. Ever since moving in with Braxton, finding time alone was hard. Any time you had to yourself, you used to snoop through his family’s life.

You had to find answers about your family somewhere.

You just had to.

LivingForFlyFishing: They use salad forks ~Up6Dn

LivingForFlyFishing: Like, for every meal

LivingForFlyFishing: Then they hire someone to wash the salad forks so they don’t have to do it themselves

LivingForFlyFishing: Because they can afford that shit

StonyGurl499: Wanted: Salad Fork Washer. Duties Include: Washing salad forks only. Not the soup spoons or dessert plates. Just the salad forks.

God, you’d missed joking with t9. It was a relief to have this moment, untouched by the gross manipulation you’d been weaving. Sure, you knew very little about t9, but they were your friend. You weren’t lying to them. They weren’t lying to you. There was no reason for them to lie to you.

LivingForFlyFishing: Shut up

LivingForFlyFishing: Have you found anything on the Cs?

StonyGurl499: I’m sure you’ve found more than I have

StonyGurl499: Dad C just seems like a sleazy businessman. Par for his course though

StonyGurl499: Your beau is pretty normal, as far as rich dudes go

Beau? That was a dated term if you’d ever heard one.

LivingForFlyFishing: Yeah, B seems normal. He’s nice. I hate doing this to him.

StonyGurl499: But you have to. For your dad. Right?

You barely spoke of your dad to t9. Sure, t9 was your friend, but your dad was the topic that you held closest to your heart. Beyond the hacktivist group you and t9 ran for a few months, you barely knew anything about them.

Except that they were rich enough to just wire you ten thousand dollars on a whim, whenever you needed it.

LivingForFlyFishing: Yeah. For my dad. I still feel slimy when I use the credit card B gave me. Feels like I’m committing fraud.

LivingForFlyFishing: When you gave me money, it wasn’t slimy

LivingForFlyFishing: How’d you get so much so fast anyway?

You trusted t9, sure. But that didn’t mean you were wary of them. Why they had decided to help you out was a mystery and you weren’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth… but I suppose you could try to take a peek.

StonyGurl499: Wired it from the Cs bank acct. Trust me. They’ll never notice my hack

LivingForFlyFishing: Haha. V funny. Keep your secrets if you want.

LivingForFlyFishing: but if you find something on the Cs and don’t share, Imma disown you

*****

*****

“You know, Y/N,” Dean started, purposefully not looking at you.

He had to keep going, right? Like, he couldn’t just stop once he started something. Not now. Not while you were stopped in the middle of nowhere getting gas on your way to kill your mother with your ex-boyfriend.

Besides, you only had a few minutes until Sam came out from the bathroom.

“Yes, Dean?” You prompted. You’d been on the road for hours, and this was the first time the two of you were alone. Obviously, Dean had waited until Sam left.

Dean huffed a deep sigh and rubbed the back of his neck. “You and I… We… well, we haven’t really had it easy. We haven’t always gotten along.”

“This is not news to me, dude.”

“Would you shut up and let me finish?” He whirled around and finally faced you. Exasperation, you’d found, was the easiest way to get Dean to stop procrastinating.

“I would if you would actually get to the point.”

“The point is that I actually think I like you. You’re good for Sam.”

How could words make you feel so warm? And so quickly? Your brain hadn’t even processed the words, but your heart felt warm. “Thanks, Dean. That… that’s really sweet.”

“Yeah, yeah. I just felt like I should say that. Just—just in case. You know, just in case…”

“Shit happens. I get it. I just… I don’t know. You’re the feel emotions in silence kind of person. Didn’t expect you to get all gushy.”

“Shut up,” he rolled his eyes and finished gassing up the car. And things were back to normal.

“No, seriously, while we’re doing this, you wanna, like confess anything else? Like… I don’t really know. But you’re already being all—”

“Fuck, Y/N, I try to be serious one time…”

“I like you too, asshole,” you said, laying a hand on his arm for a second before walking around the car. As soon as you had the barrier of the car between you, you leaned against the frame and looked him straight in the eyes. “I feel like this is it, Dean. By this time next week, everything is going to be done. It’ll be over with. So, I want you to know that even though we never really got along, I like you. And in a weird way, I even respect you.”

“You’re gonna make me say it too, aren’t you?”

“No,” you answered his question quickly. “And I’m not selfish enough to think that the few weeks I’ve spent with Sam will mean anything in the long run, but if something happens to me…”

“I’ll keep an eye on him,” Dean promised, eyes locked on yours. “I’m his big brother. It’s what I’ve always done.”

You managed a stiff smile. “He’s lucky to have you.”

“I could say the same about you.”

You were so done with this conversation. “You ready for this? Whatever comes next?”

“Sweetheart,” Dean replied, leaning against the other side of the car. “One thing I’ve learned is that we’re never ready for what comes next. But we’re gonna give it our all anyway.”

“Give it our all,” you repeated softly. “I guess the last five years of my life have built to this, hasn’t it?”

“One way or another, it’s all gonna end.” Dean let you turn those words over in your head while he finished up gassing up the car before he turned to you again. “You think you can handle it?”

The bell over the door to the gas station rang and you looked up to see Sam walking towards the two of you.

“I don’t know. Dean, I have no idea what I’ll do next. I mean, I started this insane mission to prove that my dad was innocent and… well… he’s d-dead. And I can barely believe everything I’ve learned since. And… I just don’t know.”

He nodded just as Sam reached your side.

“We good to go?” Sam asked, snaking his arm around your waist.

“At this point,” you said softly, keeping your eyes locked on Dean’s, “we don’t have an option, do we?”

“Let’s go.” Dean finished filling up the gas tank while Sam held open the back door of the Impala for you to get into.

The immediate second after Sam closed the door behind you, your phone rang. And you nearly ignored the call, but Braxton’s name lit up the screen and you answered after a deep breath. “Hey Brax. We’re, like, six hours away.”

“Change of plans, Y/N,” he replied. Dean and Sam both got into the car and looked back at you at the same time, immediately keying into the change in tone. As soon as the door were closed, neither spoke, waiting for your cue. And you waited for Braxton to explain. “We have an eye-witness placing your mom back in Virginia. She’s mobilizing her forces now. I’ve started moving my armies that way.”

“Armies,” you muttered under your breath. You hadn’t thought of the upcoming conflict as a battle, but I guess it was time to overcome your denial. “Right. Okay. So Virginia. I, uh, We’re not even close.”

“Tell me where you are and I can send a jet to you.”

You asked Dean where you were, since you’d been paying more attention to poring over your Dad’s research than the road. “Just outside of Grand Junction, Colorado.”

He repeated your location to someone beside him before returning to your conversation. “Drive to the Grand Junction airport. I have a jet in Denver that I’ll send to pick you up there.” There was a loud crash and he hurried to finish up the conversation. “Listen, I gotta go. I’ll talk to you when you’re on the jet, okay? It’ll be at the airport in just over an hour.”

“Okay.” What else do you say in these scenarios? “Be safe, Brax.”

“You too,” he said shortly, obviously distracted by whatever was happening where he was. “Talk to you soon. Love you. Bye.”

“I—yeah. Bye.” Love you? You literally just stabbed him. Like, not figuratively. You had a knife and you plunged it into his arm. “Uh,” you said, catching sight of the boys watching you expectantly. “He’s sending a jet. It’ll be at the Grand Junction airport in about an hour.”

“Airport?” Sam looked between you and Dean and sighed. “You gonna be good with that?”

The reminder at your HELLicopter ride made you want to reflexively punch him for subjecting you to the memory, but you managed to refrain. “Yeah. I’m good on planes. You can, you know, close the window and pretend you’re not in the air. Helicopters are just torture devices.”

Sam nodded slowly, clearly not fully convinced.

Then you caught sight of Dean shifting in the front seat and avoiding all eye contact.

“Dean?” You asked. His eyes flashed to yours briefly before he started fumbling with the keys, turning the car on. “Holy shit. You’re scared of flying.”

“Shut up.”

You couldn’t exactly tease him for his fear, since yours was so similar, so you just sat back.

Sam, however, had no such qualms. “Just my luck. I’ve gotta fly across the country with two people scared of flying. Got my brother scared of planes, my girlfriend scared of helicopters, and here I am. Scared of nothing.”

He smirked at the both of you, clearly teasing, yet enjoying himself all the same.

Dean, however, was not about to let his little brother get away with it. He turned, looked Sam right in the eyes, and simply stated: “Clowns.”

Which shut Sam up right up.

*****

Add Yourself To My Taglist Here!

Mobile Masterlist

Superantural Tags: @riversong-sam @missthang2734 @hugwinchester @iamnotsaneatall @angelicshinigami @youtubehelpsmesurvive @sgarrett49 @li-ssu @mogaruke @castiel-loves-them-bees @yoursmilemakesmeloveyou @sandlee44 @goldenolaf25 @smoothdogsgirl @ocholove @valisiofdauntless @emoryhemsworth @carryonmyswansong @dixonwinchesterlover @percussiongirl2017 @x-waywardaf-x @babynovak05 @kleinkariertebetrachter @sshort128 @akshi8278 @insomniac-with-a-juice-pouch @rosepetalsalongmydesk @calaofnoldor @mylovelydame21