#and continued to ask me out
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the funniest thing about the incessant pursuit of a man I’ve expressed disinterest to more than once is he just wordlessly sent me a video of himself playing a mandolin??
#brother said let me whip out my Lute#ah yes#the Ken from Barbie tactic#but with a fucking mandolin lmao#it might’ve worked if I hadn’t. yk. very clearly said hey I don’t want you even a little bit#i use humor to cope#otherwise I’d just be triggered and that’s no fun#bc yk. again. we met in a Dating App but I made my mind change extremely clear#he since then has tried to rematch in the app#and continued to ask me out#so like the mandolin video is so random it feels benign#but#yk.#cis men (/derogatory)#(/mostly j)#maybe he was playing the mandolin platonically#…right?#aroace#greysexual#greyromantic#caedsexual#it’s okay we can laugh#I am judging though#imagine an acquaintance you haven’t spoken to in weeks and don’t plan to speak to again slides into ur DMs w 2 mins of adjacent banjo#(Lo)re#to be clear I’m judging his persistence in the face of rejection and not the creative expression part#consent and boundaries are ✨ touchy ✨ for me#this genuinely stopped me from going to sleep bc of the rumination
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HOW ARE WE FEELING ABOUT THE NEW DELTARUNE NEWS???!! Just two months more...
I wanted to make something to celebrate, but I have NO time soooo here's another WIP for the animation I'm working on hehe
#School is STILL kicking my ass#But I'm making a cool animation for homework so it's worth it#Gonna try to use my vacations to continue working on the comic hehe#again I am so sorry about the lack of updates#Moving out + school has been a lot but I hope to organize myself better next quarter c:#+ apparently I got one of the harder teachers in TWO classes and classes are not usually THIS hard??? I just got bad luck lol but it's stil#been great so far!!#ANYWAYS#THE ACTUAL GOOD NEWS#DELTARUNE ACTUALLY WAS TODAY OH MY GOD#I WOKE UP WITH THE NEWS#IT WAS AMAZING I AM SO HAPPY#btw a lot of people have sent me asks lately and I haven't been able to answer...#as soon as I'm done with finals I'll work on answering asks ! Thanks for your patience! :D
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First art of the new year is all about re-structuring your internal monologue.
In my early 20s I was working full time in London with many social commitments and a variety of hustles and side projects.
In my later mid 20s I cater to many sensory and social drain needs I have and indulge in special interests while respecting my lower energy reserves and celebrating my different way of processing the world.
Did I get more autistic? Nah. I got less fake.
-
[Art description: Three panels showing figures on a black background. Long descriptions follow.
1. A drawing of OP as a person with hip-length hair and a dress standing sadly with her hands clapsed together in front of her. She is coloured a muted rainbow gradient. Behind her, two pairs of nondescript figures chat while smiling. White text says, ‘I’m getting more and more autistic the older I get.’ 2. OP’s colours are brighter, and her expression looks happier. Crayon-like scribbles have crossed out the text from the previous panel. 3. OP’s colours are vibrant, and she balances on one leg and throws her arms out as she dances. The text above has changed to say, ‘I’m becoming more and more myself the older I get.’ \End descriptions]
#urchin art#autism#autistic#neurodivergent#neurodiversity#actually autistic#autistic things#autistic adult#autistic artist#autistic community#listen- the process of unmasking every fiber of your fabricated being is difficult#figuring out who you are behind the mask is scary#but continuing to act in a play where only you got no script is officially cringe#(this is me waxing poetic I am very aware of the safety needs of masking but that's not the point)#the point is ask yourself#are you getting MORE xyz?#Or are you becoming MORE of you?
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theyre soft your honour
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#okkotsu yuuta#inumaki toge#inuokko#inumaki#yuuta#fanart#jjk fanart#timelapse#long time no canon fits !!!#still having the time of my life playing with these brushes#i was just gna do a regular draws to slap on the ask i just got but i decided 2 record it last minute fgdgd#didnt know if an mp4 file would cooperate if i tried to put it under an ask so i played it safe#but know this is fr u anon <3#i ..... cannot believe i am continuing my streak from last night of Forgetting very key and very obvious design elements#last night it was yuuij's sukuna scars.... today it is inumaki's tattoos.......#smh im Slipping fr#breaking news tumblr user hinamie fake jjk fan And fake fanartist :C#its ok tho ! crisis averted!! me forgetting them may be caught in 4k but i Did catch myself before posting th video#that would have been tragic i would have been chased out of this fandom with pitchforks. i wld have been pelted with rocks#anyway i like this piece a lot i like them i like the black/white/blue#VERY happy i got yuuta's hair right without too much hassel#turns out i know how to draw and references r a godsend <3#oh also !!! @ the person who asked about my colouring process this is what i was talking abt re: painting with an underpaint layer#helps everything look cohesive :3
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chosen ones
#mcyt#pvp civilization#pvpciv#ferremc#evbo#tabimc#clownpierce#if nobody else including ccevbo wants to give pvpferre attention then /I/ Will..........#I think not enough people talk abt the fact that ferre was the original intended chosen one. and he didnt even willingly step down#he had his hand forced! theres not really even any indicators that he even agrees with the direction that evbo is taking things-#-or ever had a change of heart from his original mindset. for all we know he could be silently seething the entire time#by assisting evbo (bc clown threatened him) ferre kinda locks himself into a position where he can't--or atleast is limited from-#-doing the one thing he wants to do. pvp. this is me referencing outside sources but usually his main motivation is something-#-along the lines of 'I want to fight people'. at every turn ferre is prevented from getting into any proper fights#forfeiting the respawn ability means he has to actually preserve his sword durability and refrain from fighting.#evbo is the one getting sent out while the dia swords stay behind and wait.#the dia swords are specifically requested by evbo to not participate in the big final battle and to instead guard his room.#this is maybe the WORST position a ferre could be put in.#I lowkey have more to say but these tags are getting really embarrassingly long ok bye#I drew this whole thing just so I could talk about pvpferre bro :sob: anyw if anyone gaf feel free to send me an ask and I will continue.
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Prowl's hand name. This one might mean something in real sign language but like I said- I'M MAKING EM UP! gotta think like "what would Bee choose to represent his friends?" So... Eyebrow-horns...
#A Bee's Last Sound#transformers one#digital art#b 127#bumblebee#art#maccadam#prowl#transformers prowl#we all like prowl#but he don like u#first time drawing him#I wanna continue the fic a bit#just autobots reacting to their names#or interacting with this Bee#would give me the opportunity to figure out more names#a couple people asked for that#I might do it#I KNOW I'm already super busy#but I must CREATE
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legilimency

pairing: Ominis Gaunt x f!MC
word count: 1,7k
summary: (His parents and Marvolo insist it’s a gift handed down from Slytherin himself, just like the Parseltongue Ominis despises. It is not. It is a curse.)
or: The Gryffindor student has caught on that Ominis can read her thoughts and decides to get her revenge.
(rated M for some language)
tags: I headcanon Ominis is a natural legilimens (I go into what I believe this entails in more detail in my Ominis longfic), fluff, some mature language, but mostly this is silly :)
a/n: It's the one-year anniversary of the day rode the train to the mountains and wrote this up in one sitting. This is the first oneshot I ever wrote, and my first attempts at writing Ominis POV🫶 I hope you enjoy, and if you’re rereading THANK YOU♥️
Ominis Gaunt is a lost case - lost to the whims of one very determined Gryffindor sitting at his side.
They sit in the back of the History of Magic classroom, the only two students not lulled to somnolence by their professor. He: trying his hardest to focus on Professor Binns' droning (easier said than done). She: trying her hardest to distract Ominis while not being entirely sure of being successful or not (easier attempted than understood).
Professor Binns is completely insufferable, of course. Ominis wonders if the ghost is as blind as he is: Binns willfully ignores the fact that all of his students use his class as an excuse to get a nap in (maybe he simply doesn't see them sleeping - only one of many reasons why Ominis has decided he could never be a professor), rambling on and on in the most boring way possible. As if he were trying to be as dull as possible (maybe he does it to avoid interacting with the students which...can't be to blame). In a different life, Ominis could see himself quite liking the subject, but as things stand he despises it.
Especially now.
Ominis fervently wishes that he could fall asleep.
Then, he might avoid hearing her thoughts - they're consuming him and he can't ignore them as much as he would like to.
Normally, he loves this class - not the subject, obviously - but the class itself, for the sheer fact that it is the only time where he gets some peace and quiet. Everyone's minds nice and quiet and shut off for the time being while they sleep. Although he has gotten used to ignoring the thoughts of everyone around him, their various voices mixing and mingling with each other into a dull thrum in the back of his mind, it is nice to have some quiet once in a while.
But right now with everyone asleep except for the Gryffindor at his side, her thoughts are so loud it's like she's screaming at him.
So here he is, wishing he could fall asleep, leave the class, maybe turn off the infernal legilimency that has haunted him his whole life.
(His parents and Marvolo insist it's a gift handed down from Slytherin himself, just like the Parseltongue Ominis despises. It is not. It is a curse.)
He is stuck listening to her.
It doesn't help that she seems to have caught on to him - something he had managed to avoid until now. Nobody else, not even Sebastian or Anne, has ever suspected a thing. But, in all fairness, those two are extremely loud and say every single thought that passes through their minds out loud even when they should remain quiet, and nobody else has had the opportunity to spend enough time with Ominis to begin to suspect anything.
Until her.
He had to go and let that blasted girl worm her way into his life, not leaving him alone ever, always looking for excuses to talk and ask his opinion, and being so intelligent that he wanted to invite her to study with him and talk with him and...
Since it happened a few nights ago, he hasn't stopped cursing himself for that stupid offhand comment he made. They had been studying in silence in the library together, by the history books where nobody else ever ventures (thank you, Professor Binns), and he could have sworn that she asked him if he was finally going to walk her back to her common room (he blames a lack of sleep and wishful thinking for this mishap). His traitorous face had flushed and he had jumped at the chance to escort her - maybe she would let him carry her bag, or... - only to feel his whole body go cold and his stomach drop when her response wasn't what he'd expected.
A pause: then: a confused voice: 'Ominis, I didn't say anything.'
His Gryffindor wasn't stupid like Gryffindors were normally wont to be. He knew her, and he knew that after his monumental mistake, the gears in her brain were turning and he was terrified that somehow she had figured it out.
(His Gryffindor?)
She had been unusually quiet around him since then, although he bitterly noticed that she was still acting normally with everyone else. Still finding every opportunity to punch Sebastian in the shoulder and laugh with Anne, still whispering with Natsai about Merlin knows what, still...
But she had been avoiding Ominis. He couldn't stand it.
Well, avoiding him right until this stupid class, when she had to go and sit right next to him (ignoring the fact that she always sits next to him in History of Magic, that everyone already has and adheres to their unofficial seats), and he can't ignore her.
She's pretending to take studious notes, but he knows better. The scratching of her quill blending with the droning of Professor Binns' voice but not drowning out her thoughts. They float above the other noises, her voice sweet and piercing. Ominis wonders vaguely what she's actually writing, because he's positive it isn't notes.
Professor Binns looks so sexy right now with his medieval hat, talking about...whatever it is he's passionate about. I wonder if he would let me talk to him after class without floating through me like he normally does...
Ominis is determined not to react. She's obviously trying to bait him. But...what if she is attracted to Professor Binns? Is he an attractive man? At the thought, the fist that's resting on top of his desk clenches, but he works to make sure his face remains impassive. Apart from a twitch of his lips, he thinks he's been quite successful.
She: huffing and shifting in her chair, her robes rustling as she crosses her legs. He: keeping his head facing forward, steadfastly ignoring her.
She changes tactics.
Maybe she's just as insufferable as the other Gryffindors, after all.
I wonder what Ominis would say if he knew I woke up moaning today after a dream about him -
He shifts slightly in his seat, hoping that she's so busy taking notes (who's he kidding) that she won't notice his discomfort as his trousers tighten -
...the girls in my dorm have been bothering me nonstop about who I've been mooning over but I don't want them to...
His hand is in such a tight fist it's a wonder he's not breaking any fingers as he tries to remain as still as possible, but his traitorous arousal is making her thoughts harder and harder to ignore. Had he ever been able to ignore her?
...his tongue was deep inside my cunt as I screamed his name...
He feels his face heat up at the thought - where had she learned such vulgar language? - and his whole body stiffens. He's sure that she can feel the tension and warmth radiating off of him in waves but that...she...his insane little lion keeps shouting at him in the silence of the classroom. She's now stopped all pretense of taking notes and is sitting stock still.
...his cock deep inside of me as...wait...what else did I hear Garreth say to Leander that night?...um... She shifts uncomfortably, her knee grazing Ominis's as she moves to squeeze her legs together. It's all he can do to not groan and remain impassive. Oh god...I...what's that feeling? This was just supposed to get back at him for probably - maybe - reading my thoughts and I'm officially insane because how would he even be able to do that?...his ears turning red from embarrassment are so adorable and I can't stand this anymore and...
Ominis tries his hardest not to move his head in her direction. His jaw flexes. Maybe he can drown her out if he starts reciting potions ingredients, or if he focuses on what Professor Binns is saying, but even he knows its futile. He's hanging on to her every word - thought? - and his head slowly turns in her direction as she keeps going.
...does he know how much I think about him? Oh god, what if he dreams of me the same way I...
He slams the open book in front of him shut, the loud noise causing Sebastian to jerk awake and babble incoherently for a moment before slumping back over his desk, drooling and snoring lightly. Nobody else in the class seems to notice except her of course. Blissfully, she has stopped talking - thinking - and he can finally -
It's no use. He needs to get out of there. She has invaded his mind and...What if she starts up again with her filthy thoughts that are bleeding into his own and -
Did he hear me? I didn't actually think...oh god, can he hear me now? What have I done?
Ominis very slowly brings his hand over to where he knows hers is. The quill falls out of her hand and he hears a sharp intake of breath at their contact. His fingers trace her knuckles and then he slowly trails them up her arm. His fingertips are so sensitive that he could swear that he feels every thread that he passes, her skin warm and alive underneath the fabric. Then to her neck, her throat bobs and he feels her erratic heartbeat. Finally, he reaches her face. She remains very, very still as his fingers brush over her features for the first time.
He has never touched someone like this before.
Her skin is like velvet, soft everywhere he touches. Now that he knows what it feels like he's not sure he can go back to before. His fingers trace the curve of her eyebrows - he finds that her nose is straight before it flares up a tiny bit at the tip - his fingers ghost over her impossibly soft lips. He drags his thumb across her bottom lip as her tongue darts out to wet them. It's impossibly intimate and the world has melted away and it's just the two of them in that moment.
He leans forward.
"Ominis, I..." she whispers, stricken.
His hand moves to tuck some of her loose hair away from her face - does she always wear it like this? - and his lips brush against her ear. He inhales deeply, her sweet smell invading his senses. She shivers under his touch and he breathes, "I heard everything."
#I HOPE YOU ENJOY !!#Im the worst tagger in the history of tagging so I apologize if I’ve forgot something & please let me know🙏#I still really love this oneshot & I still get comments and people asking if I’m going to continue this#(the answer is YES🤭 I have it all plotted out#just need to continue dragging myself out of this wretched writer’s block and lack of motivation♥️#hogwarts legacy#hphl#hogwarts legacy fanart#hogwarts legacy mc#hogwarts legacy oc#ominis gaunt fanfiction#ominis gaunt#hogwarts legacy fandom#hogwarts legacy fanfic#ominis gaunt fanart#ominis gaunt x mc#ominis gaunt x reader#ominis gaunt x you#this mc is ALSO dear to my heart she is a wild girl where Eloise is more reserved#she’s honestly so funny and sweet so I’m excited to post more about her🤲#going back to the original fanart for this one too !!!! 🤭♥️
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can you…can you draw the bay turtles ever
or is that too traumatic lol
I CANT

AAAAHHHH

AAAAAAHHHHHH
I hate my life. Thanks anon
#stop making me do shit like this#traumatised myself#they’re so UGLY#I love them tho#i did them no justice with my art(?) style(?)#tmnt#tmnt fanart#tmnt mikey#fan art#digital art#fanart#tmnt donnie#tmnt bayverse#tmnt art#art#is this art tho#sketches#tmnt sketches#bayverse donnie#bayverse mikey#tmnt mikey fanart#tmnt donnie fanart#the roughest sketches known to man#i was not continuing this#but I need to figure this out because I have comics planned with them in DAMMIT#tmnt asks#anon asks#asks and replies
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happy house~
#seungmin seemingly unconsciously cracking out aegyo voice 3 times in sydney continues being funny to me#someone asked on his last live about the changbin one and he was like ........... i dont know why i did that....................... :|#lmaooo#lee felix#kim seungmin#seungmin#bystay#stray kids#skz#skz gifs#jesskz#skzedit#createskz#stray kids gifs#felix
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Hear me out... We got Yandere Burning spice...what about Yandere Herald of Change

Oh God... That would be so horrible lol. If we're working with the Herald of Change from the time travel AU, theeeeeeeen he would have to be closer to corruption than he is in the actual story (Golden Cheese is transported to a time where Burning Spice was still a genuine good guy). Yandere Herald would be different from Yandere Beast in that he wants to have Golden Cheese to himself forever, but is more... discreet about it. He tries harder to pretend to be normal, because he's actually aware that he'd drive her away if he didn't. But his mask would start slipping with time, because Golden Cheese wants to go home and he doesn't want that. He wants her to stay. He doesn't actually know or understand where her home is (Time Travel AU Spice doesn't know she came from the future, only that she's lost), but does it really matter? Why can't she make a new home here with him? Why can't she stay with him? She should stay with him. He'll convince her to stay with him. She'll understand and agree. And if she doesn't? If she doesn't... No, of course she will. Won't she? Why wouldn't she? That kingdom she's mentioned? Those people? They don't need her like he does. He's sure they're doing ok without her. Worse comes to worst, they can make a new kingdom together. That's his job, after all: to build and nurture civilizations. They can have one of their own, they can be king and queen. They can be happy. She can be happy. She just has to stay. She has to stay. She has to stay. She has to stay.
If she still doesn't want to stay...?
Fine. It's fine. He'll make her stay.
#ok no more Herald talk. gotta wait for the first chapter of the AU to drop#i was supposed to have finished it last weekend but things got and continue to get in my way... hopefully THIS weekend is the one#(I owe my artist friend several bouquets of flowers in apology at this point lol)#Herald doesn't know GC is from the future. there's your one little lore crumb pre-story launch#whether or not he ever finds out is... for me to know and for you to find out eventually haha#but yeah Yandere Herald would be a bit like Eternal Sugar in his behavior/mindset i think#but start falling into Yandere Spice behavior if he feels like she's slipping away#also Yandere Spice and Yandere Herald would fight each other to the death over her lol#cookie run kingdom#burningcheese#goldenspice#cookie run au#might as well tag that ig#merchant asks#also none of this is canon just making that clear haha#Herald is a good guy his crush/love is healthy and genuine. worst thing he is is just persistent haha
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I have a question
How do you feel about mother spore in a Victorian dress? Like those big fancy dresses? I got it stuck in my head and now I can't stop thinking about it




#sporelings au#asks#myart#mycelium resistance#hermitcraft#grian#motherspore#sooo... I've actually been redrawing how I wanted this whole au is gonna go but I was never satisfied with it#So i just end up redoing it over and over again until I realised it will never be “perfect” to me#and if I don't stop nothing will ever come out of this and I'll just give up#So here it is#I hope it looks alright and don't worry I plan to continue just pls be patient with me#as I work slow anddd have a problem with redrawing 😭😭😭#watch me proceed to fall off the face of the earth until the next few months#hopefully the next one wont take too long#as i want to put some actual storyline going on
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Hey, do you have the next part of idiots in inaba in mind? Just asking because if you post it in the next few months, it will be an annual event, and I think that'd be funny.
(this is part 4 of my anne in inaba au, you can find the previous posts here: [part 1, part 2, part 3])
#inabanne au#gryffin's aus#asks & requests#comics#the way this got me off my ass lmao#i didnt have any concrete plans and i got this ask and it Worked. idk if ill continue past this point#but the idea of me having two annual 'series' and both of them being about anne was so funny to me i had to make something#maybe if i think of a continuation it will happen but im out rn x.x#persona 5#p5#shiho suzui#ann takamaki#akira kurusu#ren amamiya#p5r
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saying this as respectfully as possible but. Do not put fandom content creators on a pedestal. We are also just fans contributing to a community just as you are. We have boundary on our own work and that’s it. What I say is not and should not be considered sth the whole fandom should listen to. I’m just a normal ass person ranting about things on my blog. If it does not have a fandom tag for others to engage in, do not make it out to be me trying to start fights or addressing the whole community. Because it’s not.
I’ve said it before and I will say it again, my art, my lore talk, is biased. I’ve never tried to hide that I view Marika a certain way and will always develop my theory following that base assumption.
Aside from translation stuffs and pointing out in-game items, everything else I say you can look at it, agree or disagree, and move on to form your own opinions. Just because I draw stuffs doesn’t mean you get to saddle me with responsibilities about managing fandom expectations. What the hell? I’m a fan artist, I’m the last person who you should look at for “leaderism” (?) WHAT?
I can and will be a hater in my own space, like I know sometimes other artists will just post their stuffs and not engage too heavily with fandom, and for a while I did try to do that here (because I’m already a dramatic ass on twitter), that’s just not me though.
You will get art and you will get my opinions as well.

#asking ppl to [celebrate different takes] is... WHAT?#different takes as in well I think she likes apples and you think she likes grapes. yeah that’s some fun discussion to be have#but different takes as in the fundamental of a character’s drive and personality??? NO#let’s put that down very clear here#I can still read fics where Marika is cold and calculate and manipulative as long as I can see there’re layers to it and the author#set it up in a way that I can see they got her backstory and build those layers based on that#and then there are ppl who literally only portray her as omg evil girlboss 101 let’s blame everything on this cardboard character#then I click back.#and there r ppl who might not vibe with how i portray her and they can ignore me. THAT'S OK TOO. we r in our own space.#it’s as simple as that!#ever since the dlc is out i literally could see the amount of ppl blocking me go up and im just “ok” because i do go around muting ppl too.#that's normal fandom space managing experience. pls do that#lore discussion is for ppl to engage in so u say ur piece i say mine and we can continue or not depending on situation#but FANWORK? leave each other alone or be a hater in ur own space ok?#personal#also where are these ppl who have been defending Marika at... because if u exclude me#and some others i can count on one hand. where are these ppl?#ppl saying headass stuffs about the HS aren't even Marika fans or engage too much in fandom to begin with#meanwhile u can't even find one youtube lore essay that says anything good about her#ppl are even trying to give Messmer's mother position to GEQ for no goddamn reason#like where is this overwhelming support for Marika at cuz as the active Marika stan around im not seeing it
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there was another wave of caleb drama on the bird app the other day about him not wanting to be ur gege at all which was lowkey super dumb bc its not true but now its making me think of an au where mc and caleb don't grow up together and meet as adults but caleb's still delusional and crazy enough to want to have that type of dynamic... like just irrationally mad that he isn't the one who raised u LMAO i always saw him as the type to just want to be your everything not Just a brother not Just a lover... it tickles my brain.. love and obsession so all-encompassing that he has to be everything in ur life
..Oh brother 😒 no pun intended. I agree with u tho nonnie 💯 Bro needs to be her everything, & if he isnt he feels worthless.
Prepare thyselfs
Alright, yall already know by know that im a big gege truther- however im perfectly fine with the people who wanna see caleb as the ‘childhood friend’- which the anglicized version essentially goes off on. Now i do believe those individuals dont see all of caleb’s unique little nuances- just because so much of them stem from the brotherly role he was ‘forced’ to fill for mc all throughout childhood- and i think they fail to recognize the paramount correlation it has to their ‘forbidden’ romance (which both he & mc ACKNOWLEDGE in the story; but ig they’re just whiting out the bits they dont wanna hear) but im not gonna flame ppl if they wanna see bro as the friends to lovers trope.
i dont agree with it, but its more or less okay with me bc i understand lots of ppl are icked out by the pseudo trope (reasonable) yet still want to appreciate xia yizhou in their own way— even if ignoring the original intention inevitably brings a certain distance to that for the lack of comprehension over his, well, ahem GEGEISM™️
The way some of them wanna DENY the asian/original canon tho is pretty insane ngl. Like homie u can still enjoy ur own (english localized) idea of caleb- but to try to erase the obvious gege/meimei implications of the chinese version is funny only because its just that stupid. Again im definitely not one of the ppl who’ll yell and shame others for not fucking with the gege vibes, but cmon… its pretty obvious that is in the canon.
And now im yapping at this point but as to whether or not caleb WANTS to be mc’s brother figure? ..Honestly i feel like that is complicated in itself, and i think the answer will vary from person to person. But for me i think its both a yes and a no. He definitely acts as her brother, thinks as her brother, regards himself as her brother. And the self awareness is absolutely there for him- as in he knows its wrong to romantically pine for mc because he truly does- in his own way- naturally see mc as his meimei as well, even if he tries to separate himself from it the more his yearning grows. I think calebs emotions revolving this are super complex. I can barely even put it into words.
He wants the full right, if u will, that the gege title grants him over her— the closeness, the responsibility, the bond— but it ultimately gets in the way when he stares at her in admiration for a little too long or leans a little too much into the fantasy of pretend girlfriend and boyfriend. Growing up, whenever he humored her and they played house, he never had to feign the part of ‘husband’ bc he already carried all that love with him. In a way, a lil piece of him kind of blames mc for ‘asserting’ the gege role on him, but he’s still just as guilty bc he happily gave in to it all throughout their growing up. He liked it, even, in those moments he could almost forget his own pathetic desires.
I truly do believe that caleb feels regretful over the brotherly role he operated under for just about all his life… But i also truly believe that he would have it no other way— the smallest idea of anybody else assuming that spot in her life makes him furious. Because again, he wants to take care of her, he wants to protect her, to bandage her scraped knees and hush away her tears, to cook breakfast lunch and dinner for her and have almost as much of a say in her life as gran does. (…past tense.) He wants the proximity, the domestic life with her, the casual closeness and again, the slight dominion the ‘brother’ role gives him over her.
Lets not forget that in all of this, for all his cheerful, reassuring smiles and easy quipping comments, that there’s a little worm in the back of caleb’s head that wants ultimate control over his meimei. and yes, even just in calling her his ‘meimei’— or her running face first into his strong arms bc she knows, as family, he’ll always have her back— some of that control is given. Its so hard to articulate this pls kill me. But i hope u know what i mean.
At the end of the day, for all his reservations about it- and the actual blame he lowkey tries to put on mc for it- Caleb does and always wanted to be her gege.
Because if he was never her gege, he’d be nothing. His responsibility over his meimei— his sister, his friend, his closest confidant and hopefully, one day, his wife— is frankly all that gives him purpose.
And yeah maybe he is a little crazy because of it... But he knows she loves him too, deep down. He knows her better than anybody else, after all. The same can be said about his love for her: nobody in this world could ever hold even a fraction of all that Caleb both internally & physically shoulders for her.
It’s as much of an ugly curse as it is a beautiful gift.
Duality my friends, duality
#mailbox#caleb love and deepspace#just tagging this as caleb so i can easily go back to this later if i want#ive always wanted to talk about this with yall but never had an excuse to open my mouth#so im soooo happy u sent this ask lil nonnie but at the same time i apologize for rambling ur ear off LOL 😖❤️🩹#this man makes me feel such insane things#analyzing his character feels like a nosedive down a rabbit hole#my shoes is sticking out the top like the cavediver memes lol#anyways i could talk about this for DAYS but i will spare yall the agony of listening to me 💀#also the day twitter burns to the ground will be a good one imo#i deadass thought after elon took it over that ppl said they were gonna leave??#so why are they still there causing needless beef & drama 💀#i only really only use youtube and tumblr in terms of social media so 🤷🏻♀️#im kinda under a rock to some stuff i guess but#more peace to me lol#nonnie i hope u know this ask actually made me gear up tho like i was rubbing my hands to answer this one#but idk lemme know yalls opinions on this#again i know interpretations on his chara can vary bc hes so fricking complex#but do yall think he WANTS to be her brother? hates it? both?#i think he’d be 100% fine with it if it didnt score him all those dirty incredulous looks from onlookers (and mc) :]#what do u mean i cant be in love with my meimei?? Fine. then she’s not my meimei (continues to treat her exactly like his meimei)#(minus the acknowledgment)#Aight ima shut up
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okay here's part 6! this literally was not meant to be as long as it is, but i got carried away while doing some archery research... and here we are.
hope you guys enjoy! part 7 will be uploaded tomorrow!
(p.s if you're an archer/know archery and i get stuff wrong please don't yell at me, google can only give me so much info hdshdshdh)
the post/thread that started this whole au
dinner scene: part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 7 | part 8
there's a masterlist now!
*athena had left not long after midday, but not before saying she’d see them all later at dinner*
*telemachus, odysseus & penelope are all together in the palace gardens*
*penelope is sitting on a bench, with odysseus also laying on it & his head in her lap as they watch telemachus practice using a bow and arrow*
telemachus: *trying to aim for the centre of the target in front of him*
telemachus: *struggling but wants to show his parents what his training with athena is doing for him*
telemachus: *lets the bowstring go*
*the arrow flies through the air, but misses the centre of the target completely and hits the edge of the target*
telemachus: *drops the arm holding his bow to his side and sighs in disappointment*
penelope: *looks at her son and then looks down at odysseus*
odysseus: *looks up from his son to meet penelope’s eyes*
*both seem to have a conversation through their eyes*
odysseus: *smiles and nods at penelope*
odysseus: *gets up from penelope’s lap and walks over to telemachus*
penelope: *smiles while watching odysseus head over to their son*
odysseus: don’t be disappointed son, go ahead and nock another arrow
telemachus: *does as his father says*
odysseus: now draw and anchor, as you normally would
telemachus: *again does what odysseus asks*
odysseus: *looks at his son’s pose* ah i see some of the problem
odysseus: *gently takes hold of telemachus’ drawn back elbow*
odysseus: ok your elbow needs to be a bit higher, and just straighten your back a little…
telemachus: *follows odysseus’ instructions*
odysseus: *stepping back so he’s not in the way* that's perfect! now breathe in as you would, but not to the point it hurts!
odysseus: and then as you go to let the string go breathe out but not all the way, about only half way
telemachus: *breathes in as he aims for the centre of the target again*
telemachus: *steadily breathes out and releases the string*
*the arrow flies through the air again… and hits just slightly off the centre of of the target*
telemachus: *looks at the target in disbelief but in also joy*
odysseus: *cheers in happiness for his son* you did it!
penelope: *clapping and calling out to her son* well done telemachus!
telemachus: *drops his bow and turns to his father*
telemachus: *gives odysseus a hug* thank you father!
odysseus: *hugging his son back* no need to thank me, i’m happy to be able to help teach you!
telemachus: *lets odysseus go while smiling*
odysseus: *looks down at telemachus’ bow then picks up it up and grabs an arrow*
odysseus: *nocks it with ease and shoots it in the blink of an eye*
*the arrow hits the dead centre of the target*
odysseus: *turns and hands the bow back to telemachus*
odysseus: now, how about you keep practising? once you have this completely down i’ll teach you other things you can do with a bow
odysseus: *hand under his chin in thought* i’ll have to get an archer’s ring commissioned for you
telemachus: *stares at his father in shock at how easy he made that look* i didn't know you knew so much about archery- i mean…
telemachus: *thinks back to when odysseus shot an arrow through 12 axe heads*
penelope: *giggles to herself as she realises even their son doesn’t know about his father’s mastery & skill with a bow*
odysseus: *looks over at penelope, and then he understands just why she's giggling*
odysseus: *now looks at telemachus with an amused expression*
telemachus: *sees his father’s expression*
telemachus: *holds his hands (with the bow still in one of them) up hoping he hasn’t offended his father*
telemachus: not saying you didn’t know how to use one!
telemachus: i thought you just knew the basics and that ‘trick’ you did to prove yourself, was originally just to impress mother?
telemachus: *puts his arms down and then looks down towards his father’s hands* besides, that ring you wear on your thumb is just a normal one like the other’s you wear isn’t it?
telemachus: it certainly doesn’t look like any archer ring i've seen before at the markets…
odysseus: *laughs to himself and holds up his hand* oh this? you’re right it doesn’t look like an archer ring.
odysseus: *rubs his thumb along his index finger* that's because it isn’t a normal one
telemachus: *looks again at his father’s ring to see it now has a point to it like any standard archer ring*
telemachus: *looks up at odysseus’ face, then back down to his hand and then back up to his face again*
telemachus: but- you- it- hOW?
odysseus: *rubs his thumb against his index finger again and the ring is back to looking like any standard ring*
odysseus: *looks from telemachus to penelope* ask your mother, it was a gift from her
telemachus: *immediately swivels to face her*
penelope: well, as you’ve now found out…your father isn't one to let people know he’s a skilled archer, so i ‘commissioned’ an archer ring to be made for him that could hide as a normal ring when not needed.
telemachus: wow! the jeweller who made this certainly is skilled then
penelope: *thinks back to asking athena if she could try to get hephaestus to make one*
penelope: yeah skilled indeed
telemachus: *turns back to odysseus* so why didn’t you want people to know? about your skills as an archer i mean.
odysseus: sometimes it's best to not reveal all your strengths
odysseus: *grins while shrugging* keeping people guessing is also fun
odysseus: *walks to telemachus and ruffles his hair* anyway, back to practising! i’m going to head back over to your mother, but call me if you want me to assist with anything ok?
telemachus: ok!
*time passes as telemachus keeps on practising, odysseus is back to laying in penelope’s lap while she caresses his hair*
*odysseus wants to keep watching his son but is struggling to not fall asleep from penelope's motions*
*telemachus notices so decides to discuss some final dinner plans with his mother*
telemachus: so the cooks have everything they need for tonight, right? are you sure you don’t need me to quickly run down to the market for anything?
penelope: *smiles reassuringly at telemachus* they do, and if on the off chance they don’t i'm sure one of them will go to the market themselves. no need to worry yourself my son.
telemachus: *nods while getting another arrow ready*
telemachus: *starts pulling the string back when he has another thought*
telemachus: oh what about the seating plan? i should probably tell fathe-
penelope: *who knows about athena’s seating plan, and also knows that odysseus doesn’t (hey she wants to have some fun too ok?)*
penelope: *forgetting about her husband peacefully half-asleep in her lap*
penelope: *jumping up from the bench* NO-
telemachus: *not expecting his mother’s outburst*
telemachus: *lets the string go accidentally and also having lost his aim*
odysseus: *falls off penelope’s lap and the bench with a startled yelp*
*meanwhile the loose arrow now wizzes straight past the target, through the garden trees and over the palace cliffs, heading into what looks to be its final destination of…. the sea*
telemachus: *turns to face his parents* mother, are you ok? why did you yell no?
penelope: oh um… i’m sorry for shouting telemachus
penelope: what i meant to say was, there's no need to spoil anything. we’ll keep it as a surprise!
telemachus: uh ok…
odysseus: *face down on the ground and groaning from the sudden series of events*
odysseus: *pushes himself up and looks at his wife*
odysseus: penelope why?
penelope: *laughs a little at odysseus’ rumpled state*
penelope: *helps him up*
penelope: i’m sorry my love *kisses him on the cheek*
odysseus: *smiles at the kiss and then brushes his clothing free of dust*
odysseus: what were you two talking about anyway?
telemachus: uhh-
penelope: -the final bits for dinner! speaking of which, we should all go and start getting ready!
penelope: *points at the sun starting to set* helios is not long from being done for the day, and i'm sure when selene takes to the skies, our dinner guests won't be long!
penelope: *starts to head inside* come along you two!
telemachus: *to odysseus* what about the archery equipment?
odysseus: *shrugs* we’ll deal with it later
*telemachus & odysseus follow penelope back into the palace*
#*meanwhile in poseidon’s palace*#poseidon: *who is getting ready for dinner with the help of amphitrite*#amphitrite: *brushing poseidon’s long hair for him* did you want me to put your hair in a more formal style? or leave it as normal?#poseidon: *in the midst of fastening his chiton* normal will be fine but maybe add in some-#poseidon: *jolts and blinks* what was that?#amphitrite: *continues brushing used to poseidon’s antics now* what was what?#poseidon: i felt something hit that ithacan cove i use#poseidon: *holds his hand out to summon said thing*#poseidon: *looks at the summoned item* is that… an arrow? who shoots arrows into the sea?!#amphitrite: did you upset odysseus with anything?#poseidon: why is that always your first assumption?#amphitrite: *gives poseidon a look*#poseidon: well not that i know of! forget it- i’ll ask him when i get there#i believe that odysseus doesn't like revealing his skill as an archer#only a certain few know (or knew -rip-) that he's a master with a bow#and athena totally lied to hephaestus about who the ring was for#she didn't want him to know it was for her fav sneaky trickster of a mortal#and yes he totally learnt the axe head trick in addition to his archery skill so he could use it to woo penelope#odysseus epic#odysseus#penelope epic the musical#telemachus epic#telemachus#friends in higher places au?#epic the musical#epic: the musical#nonsense thoughts
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On top of everything else that's happened in the last month or so
(girlfriend breaking up with me / me running off in the night w the friend I was supposed to be maid of honor with bc her (now ex) fiance came home drunk and scared us, while ofc we also both were in swimsuits and had like NO money or even shoes due to incredibly poor timing / Getting stuck in Dallas for TWO MONTHS longer than I meant to be due to bullshit work transfer systems (and admitedly my own inability to remember that deadlines exist) / that same friend going BACK to her shit boyfriend alone to a city 4 hours away from anyone she may call for help if things go wrong / me now no longer having a place in dallas to stay for these next 2 months bc I was SUPPOSED to stay with that friend but her bastard boyfriend doesn't want me in his house anymore bc he knows I'd tell his girlfriend to dump his ass)
I have now lost my fucking house keys.
Anyways I may or may not be way less active for a bit so this is the formal apology and explanation for that. Sorry guys, we are NOT going back to ur normally scheduled rapid fire ninja content as promised for like. A minute. Possibly. We'll see. Sometimes my own motivation wave surprises me.
Tbh it's my own fault for daring to become a fanfic author tbh. Should have known the "sorry I didn't update, my house burned down teehee <3" curse would come for my ass
#this blog will go bafk to normal eventually. as soon as I stop getting hit by bricks. and can think properly.#im going through a lot rn idk#no one look at me#chances are I will go back to normal soon but rn Im burnt out as hell and feeling it in my bones#the hyperfixation isnt healing me like it should#i wanna go back to chicago so bad oh my god#im staying in my parents house for now on my days off and it looks like ill have to do that for the next few months#but its the fucking worse bc that commute is like 2 fucking hours for me MINIMUM on a good day#Also I forgot how many fucking bugs live in this house and how much harder it is to convince myself to eat while living here#man.#sorry this has half turned into a vent post at this point#but also like. whatever. its my blog.#its also 1am and I get up to work in 3 hours. so.#yippie#the next 2 months are going to be wonderful for me.#im sure.#uhhhhh actual fic updates + my art commissions will probably continue as normal#mostly also bc I have hella shit half written already#i just may be quieter than usual on here / not post much au things#which have been slowing down anyways#coincidentally timing well with my girlfriend breaking up with me. but. yk.#happens to the best of us.#anyways stay tuned for fic updates but yeah fewer au posts and art probably#apology also to those sending me asks I really do want to answer#but fatigue and depression has placed its cold hands on the back of my neck which makes me hesitate to do much here#anyways.#birds rambles#should I tag this vent I feel like I should just in case someone has that tag blocked and wouldnt wanna see this#just in case#vent
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