#and if someone trusted me enough to share that level of vulnerability with them i would be beyond honored

[opticsel]

crazy to think that people my age want to have sex… and that many of them have had sex before… and that they are actively seeking out people to have sex with….. and that they talk about sex with their other sex-having friends……. couldn’t be me but y’all have fun tho! stay safe out there and stuff

[night-raven-tattler]

The pains of being human

Summary: You're dealing with period related misfortunes, and you feel vulnerable... mostly because you reached a point where you had to share your predicament with someone you trusted (?).

Characters: Deuce, Floyd, Lilia and GN!Reader (separate, vague)

Warnings: mentions of menstrual products, food, medicine; discussions of periods and related symptoms (such as: bleeding, cramps, nausea, mood swings.)

By opening the document, you agree to Mx Tattly's terms of source confidentiality.

-ˋˏ’✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

You were in your dorm room, stuck in a real predicament: not stocking up on your menstrual products, and leaving the room to buy yourself some seemed too risky, fearing you might get a stain and embarass yourself in front of the whole school

It wasn't a very likely situation, but the anxiety was not worth it, so you relied the first person you were close enough with to help you out: Deuce

You shot him a simple text

"i am on my period, can you buy me some products? i'll pay you back when you get here"

and expected an awkward but supportive reply, since teenage boys and periods can be like oil and water sometimes or demons and cruxes...

But the text you received in return was... mildly surprising.

"yeah sure. pads? tampons?"

"what size do you need?"

"anything else you need? painkillers? something sweet?"

You even double checked the number to make sure you didn't text anyone else

He even knew about sizes! And he thought about painkillers! You were more and more touched with each message coming through

And, with the proper instructions, Deuce was on his way to Sam's

He was not embarassed for even a second: he was there on a mission, and he accomplished it successfully without any missteps

...Well, except of his little delay, caused by a pair of nosy boys, who received their proper threats from Deuce for interrupting his mission with their toxic masculinity

He knocked at your door, and for a second he was expecting his mother to open the door; after all, she was the only one he has ever bought these things for before you

You gratefully welcomed him in, waddling your way back to your bed as you inspected the bag he brought you

"Thank you, Deuce. You're a livesaver... How much did everything cost you?"

Deuce saw the tired look on your face, the heavy lids that indicated a lack of proper sleep, and he shook his head

"It's on me this time."

You scoffed, knowing Deuce was also on a budget; as much of a sweetheart and an honors student he was, Deuce deserved to be rewarded

"...I wanna think of a compromise, but my brain is too tired right now."

You groaned, closing your eyes as you rested them for a few seconds

Deuce shook his head at you again and clicked his tongue in fond exasperation

He wanted to be nice and offer you an out, but you were dead set on being nice to him...

"...A latte."

You opened your eyes, looking at Deuce in confusion

"I'm sorry?"

"I want a latte. One of those fancy ones from that café in town. When you're done with the, uh... bear week."

A small snort escaped you as you gave Deuce an amused look

"Bear week? Not shark week?"

Deuce's eyes widened slightly, and he looked away as his cheeks grew warmer

"...Mom never called it that. She always said that fighting a bear is more likely to happen than fighting a shark... and that it sounds cooler."

You nodded, feeling very inclined to agree with his mom, and decided to steal that phrase

You were very relieved to have someone as reliable as Deuce near you, and despite the fact that Deuce wasn't the most diligent person, he always made sure to carry one of your preffered products with him at all times

No matter what kind of teases he received from anyone for it, he knew he was showing a level of care not many would

And while helping you... he was helping himself

He was still dealing with the guilt of being so embarassed when his own mom sent him to buy pads; he couldn't help his mom with such a simple thing even after everything she's done

But he can be more careful this time... more appreciative

『••✎••』

The moment Floyd spotted you in the hallways was when things went downhill: Floyd didn't really bring sunshine and rainbows around with himself

By that point you were used to his shenanigans, but you still gave some interesting reactions

A gasp, a swat to his hand... but never tears

He wouldn't have yelled in your ear if he knew you'd burst into tears: he wasn't in the mood to deal with the aftermath

But he quickly put two and two together, seeing the way you were frozen on the spot, almost trying to pick between scolding him and saying something else

Unbeknownst to Floyd, you were simply trying to get back to your dorm after noticing a pretty sizeable stain on your pants from your period

And the anxiety from trying to go unnoticed put you on edge, making your reaction to Floyd so much worse

"...Please just get me out of here."

Your small plea came after a tense silence, in which Floyd was reading your expression with an almost uninterested look

But he still hoisted you over his shoulder without any hesitation, much to your embarassment

"Floyd...! Not like this, put me down!"

"Eh~? You're so hard to please, little discus!"

Floyd did not put you down, of course

It was causing a bit of a scene, so you decided that, in the end, you'll take whatever got you to your dorm room the fastest

"Alright, fine...! Just get me to my dorm then!"

"Boooring! Why can't we go somewhere more fun?"

Floyd complained while going in the direction of your dorm

"Because I'm not in the mood for fun, Floyd! I..."

Your cheeks turned red, realising you almost revealed something too personal

To your surprise, Floyd didn't point it out; he just pouted as he walked towards your dorm

You reached your dorm room soon thanks to Floyd's long legs, and you were able to change into fresh clothes, easing your anxiety and making you feel like crying from relief

Until you realised Floyd was still in your room, even after you told him you'd be having no fun together today

He looked you up and down, his face betraying his confusion

"Now can you tell me why you were smelling like blood? Did anyone do something? Do I get to deliver a revenge plan and squeeze some aquarium fish?"

Floyd's almost sadistic delivery did not phase you at all, and all you were thinking was that of course Floyd noticed

You had no other option but to explain

"I just... got a blood stain from my, uh... my period..."

Silence.

"...What do classes have to do with that?"

Your eyes widened as you came to a horrifying conclusion: Floyd couldn't know what period were, because he was a merman

You saw your short life flash before your eyes in horror at the prospect of having to explain periods to a teenager... when Floyd just burst into laughter

"Oh, you actually believe that! You are so funny!"

Much to your relief, Floyd's confusion was just a prank; he figured you had your period before you even said anything

He revealed that he took classes about humans, their customs and anatomy when he first decided to come on land

And he also dodged the pillows you threw at him with practiced ease

It was the last time you even talked about it: neither of you brough it up again, and you didn't know how to feel about it

On one hand, you were relieved, but on the other hand, you expected Floyd of all people to ask questions and be all annoying about it

But Floyd didn't really care about things like that

In fact, he found your periods hilarious: your mood swins in particular were funny, and he almost enjoyed making things that you could digest

And he would never admit it, but he felt proud when you seemed to feel a bit better after he helped you during your period

『••✎••』

Every once in a while, you found yourself being enveloped in a hug from behind from the old bat

He would either hand you a piece of homemade chocolate by him or some cute trinket he thought sould cheer you up

Lilia was a very cute individual, and he was surprisingly affectionate for someone who was definitely a teenager and not a retired war veteran attending highschool, so you never questioned it

...until you found Lilia wrapping his jacket around your torso gingerly from behind

"...There we go. Not too tight?"

His cute, softer voice vibrated through your back as he still was glued to you

"It's... not, but why did you..."

"Oh, haven't you heard? Jackets wrapped around waists are the latest fad! It's cool and chic!"

You didn't argue with him on it, especially after you tried to untie the jacket from your waist and were blocked by Lilia, who was still holding you from behind

The proximity was getting to you, and you felt your cheeks flushing, your knees growing a bit weak, your stomach doing flips-

Wait, no. That wasn't butterflies in your stomach, that was a sharp pain from... lower

As you put two and two together, Lilia started walking you down the hallway into a secluded classroom, his hand around your waist and making you two look as casual and unassuming as always

The moment Lilia closed the door of the abandoned classroom, you his your face in your hands from embarassment

"Oh, my god... This can't be happening to me..."

The tone in your voice betrayed how mortified you felt, but was glad that you had this realisation away from prying eyes

You didn't even realise the leak, since you were already using products, and it already felt like you leaked blood all the time...

Lilia only chucked at your realisation

"Khee hee... Someone was a bit caught off guard today, huh?"

Your pathetic whimper was the only answer Lilia received, and his eyes sparkled with mirth

He still brought out his magical pen and waved it gently in the air, muttering something under his breath

"Take that jacket off and turn around for me?"

You did as he instructed, but only because you felt more... dry, all of a sudden

Lilia hummed in delight as he saw the spot being gone, his spell working

"Good. No more damning evidence... Now all you gotta do is go on your merry way."

You sighed in relief and slipped onto an empty chair, letting the small rollercoaster of emotions settle down within you

Lilia was nothing short of a lifesaver, and he handled the situation with so much grace that it left you speechless

When you asked about it, he just laughed

"I'm no stranger to blood."

That was all he said... Not ominous at all /s

Still, you were very grateful at the way Lilia handled everything

Since then, he started being even more doting on you whenever you were in your period

He was almost... motherly in a way

And for some reason, the idea of Lilia as a parental figure didn't seem too far fetched...

He always was on the lookout for any other accidents and even tried talking you into trying the reusable alternatives for your products

What surprised no one was when he became even more eager to supplement you with nutritional food whenever you were low on energy

And so much more disappointed when your nausea made his food somehow even worse to be around

『••✎••』

[bullet-prooflove]

Say It With Flowers: Harry Wilson x Reader

Tagging: @kmc1989 @buckysteveloki-me @hagarsays @misskrose @pascal-rascal424

Summary: Harry gets a surprise when he discovers a dozen red roses sitting on your breakfast bar.

Companion piece to:

Sugar - You're Harry's first stop when he makes it back to New Orleans.

Bourbon (NSFW) - The things you and Harry get up to with a 10k bottle of bourbon... it's sinful.

Court Days - Court days are your favourite days.

The Corkscrew - You realise Harry isn't the person you thought he is when you see him on a date with another man.

The Fixer - Harry returns to the place it all started in an attempt to reconnect wiith you.

A Southern Man - Harry and you discuss his revealation.

Roses aren’t your thing, which is why Harry is surprised when he steps inside your house the next morning to find two dozen of them sitting on the breakfast bar, residing in a crystal vase, you certainly don’t own.

“You got someone else courting you darlin’?” He signs to you because you’ve just gotten out of the shower and you aren’t wearing your hearing aids.

You sigh, plucking the card from within the flowers and pushing it towards him. He picks it up, frowning as he studies the words written in block capitals.

“Oh.” He says, keeping his head tilted up so that you can read his lips. “They’re from Neal. I mentioned I was spending some time at the horse sanctuary because rehabilitating racehorses was my character Arthur’s passion. He’s been texting me all night. I had to give Breanna the phone because it was driving me crazy”

Neal, is the man they’ve been running the con on, the one you saw holding Harry’s hand the other night. He’s been using romance scams to scam people out of thousands of dollars, breaking their hearts and their banks.

“Hm.” You respond before signing. “Neal is a real thirsty bitch.”

“He certainly is.” Harry signs back after placing the card back down on the breakfast bar. “Look, I want to reassure you that you have absolutely nothing to worry about, if you remember what I was telling you about Mardi Gras, he isn’t even my type-”

You snort and Harry’s heart sinks until you use your hand to shift the roses to the right, revealing a pretty hand painted water jug of windflowers. It’s a beautiful colourful summer bloom that looks like a cross between a poppy and a daisy. Each flower is bright and vibrant, from the crisp white to the rich burgundy to that stunning cornflower blue hue that just pops between them.

“If he doesn’t know you well enough to buy your favourite flowers, he doesn’t deserve you.” You sign and he can tell you’re teasing him by the way the left side of your mouth quirks up.

“Did you go to the flower market especially for me?” Harry asks, feeling a swell of emotion raising up in chest. He cannot vocalise just how much this means to him. His ex-wife she never focused on the little things, the things that tell someone how much you care for them. You, you’re all about that, you live in a world where actions can be more powerful than words and he cherishes every small gesture you make in the relationship.

“I thought they would make you smile.” You tell him simply. “This con is tough on you because of our relationship and I wanted to reassure you that I’m still going to be there at the end of the day when you’re done with Neal.”

You put extra emphasis on the name to show your distain for the man. Romance scams, they’re heart breaking on so many levels, it takes a real prick to play on people’s vulnerabilities to take their trust and to shatter it into a million pieces.

“You know what Sugar, I’ve just had a thought.” Harry signs before a smile crosses his handsome features. “Why don’t you come see me in action, witness Neal’s downfall in real time?”

“Are you serious?” He can tell you’re excited by the speed your hands move, it takes his brain a moment to catch up once you’ve finished.

“Yeah.” He says, feeling his own excitement rise up because he wants to share this part of his life with you, he wants to share every part of his life with you. “Let’s pull back the curtain, show you the art of the con.”

Love Harry? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.

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Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[montybooks]

Hiii

first of all I wanted to thank you for your AMAZING Light headcanons! I really like how you characterised reader :).

I've recently got into death note and I wanted to ask if you could do similar headcanons with L ? (Im not rlly far into the story so pls no major spoilers)

Some headcanons! Eat my child eat it up!!!

⸻

🍰 L Lawliet x Shy, Quiet, Weird/Freaky!Reader Headcanons

(I kept it similar to the light headcanons in a way! Especially how reader is characterised!)

⸻

1. First Impressions:

• L is instantly drawn to you because you’re one of the few people in the room who isn’t trying to hide how strange you are. You just… exist in your own weird little bubble, and that makes you fascinating.

• You say something odd during a group conversation—like comparing people to moths or muttering about how blood looks under a microscope—and he zeroes in on you.

• You don’t try to impress him, and that alone makes him want to know more.

⸻

2. A Connection Beyond Words:

• Your quietness doesn’t put him off. L finds comfort in silence. In fact, some of your best “conversations” are just long periods of shared space—him working, you doing your thing beside him.

• When you do speak, it’s either unsettlingly insightful or deeply strange. He loves the unpredictability of it.

• “Do you think ghosts ever get tired of haunting the same place?” you ask once, eyes on the ceiling. L doesn’t even blink—he gives you a ten-minute theory on ghost fatigue.

⸻

3. Your Weirdness Matches His:

• You once gave him a gift that made most people uncomfortable: a perfectly preserved animal bone or a poem that read more like a curse. L thought it was “wonderfully unique.”

• You’re both emotionally strange. You’re not outwardly affectionate, and neither is he, but you understand each other—a glance, a shift in posture, a shared look is enough.

• He watches you when you’re doing something odd, like talking to a plant or sketching morbid doodles, and you catch him smiling with his eyes.

⸻

4. Daily Life Together:

• You get him weird snacks he didn’t know he needed. “Try this; it tastes like depression and sugar.” He’s obsessed.

• He lets you sit on the floor with him, knees tucked up, eating sweets and talking about existential fears like they’re casual weather updates.

• When you’re anxious or overstimulated, he doesn’t press you. He offers you quiet, a hoodie, and a gentle pat on the head with a “There, there,” like a cat.

⸻

5. His Possessive Side:

• L doesn’t do jealousy in a traditional sense. He just watches very closely when someone else talks to you—analyzing everything about their intentions, behavior, and risk level.

• If someone flirts with you, L doesn’t confront them. They just find their secrets mysteriously exposed on a public database days later.

• He never outright says “you’re mine,” but he’ll drop a spoonful of cake into your mouth while staring someone else in the eye.

⸻

6. Emotional Vulnerability:

• You’re one of the few people who can get L to sleep—because he only sleeps when you’re nearby. It’s a trust thing.

• You once found him awake at 4 a.m., sitting in the dark, overthinking a case. You simply sat beside him and said, “It’s okay to be a person sometimes.”

• That moment? Core memory. He talks about it once in a rare emotional slip: “You said something once. I think it saved me.”

⸻

7. You Notice Things Others Don’t:

• You’re observant in a weird way. You once asked, “Why do you look sad even when you smile with your eyes?” and he stopped typing.

• You pick up on his burnout, his loneliness, the way he avoids touch like it might hurt. You don’t try to fix it—you just exist beside it, and that’s more healing than he expects.

⸻

8. Freaky-Soulmate Vibes:

• You both say things at the same time sometimes, usually something grim or bizarre, and just accept it without comment.

• Your love language is weird comfort: bringing him something unsettling that made you think of him, or drawing creepy doodles on his notebooks.

• You once asked, “If you had a Death Note, would you tell me?” He replied, “Only if I was sure you wouldn’t turn me in… or take it for yourself.” Neither of you broke eye contact for five seconds straight.

⸻

9. Physical Affection (When It Happens):

• L isn’t great at physical affection, but he allows you to lean on him, braid his hair absentmindedly, or rest your head on his shoulder while he types.

• You touch him like he’s fragile porcelain, which unnerves him at first… until he realizes how safe it feels.

• Sometimes you fall asleep with your arms around his waist while he’s still crouched at the computer. He doesn’t move for hours.

⸻

10. If You Ever Left Him:

• He wouldn’t beg. He’d just… watch you go. And then lose interest in everything else for days. Weeks, maybe.

• You’d get strange messages in your inbox—photos of cats, an old inside joke, maybe a cryptic puzzle only you could solve.

• He wouldn’t let go emotionally. He’d carry the idea of you like a ghost—his favorite haunting.

⸻

I made sure no spoilers were in here!!! Hope you looooove this one!

[httpwintersoldier]

『 freak. pt1 | b. barnes x reader 』

pairing: bucky barnes x afab!reader words: mega words summary: after suppressing his feelings and emotions for so long, Bucky found himself at a romantic standstill, unable to form a connection due to his discomfort with anything related to the matters of the heart and the mind. That is, until he met you, someone with the same problem, looking for the same solution. a slow burn between two people who didn't allow themselves to love.

fluff ; angst ; smut

James Barnes was convinced he had seen and experienced just about every single terrifying experience. Being drafted to war, captured by Nazis, experimented on, forced to kill, attacked by aliens...

And yet fear overcame him whenever the topic of dating came up.

He had tried to date, his therapist had encouraged him to - "creating connections with people", and all. But Bucky wondered if it had done any good, he wondered if it had made it worse, actually. He could handle taking care of someone else, being romantic, protecting and being chivalrous towards someone else came pretty natural to him (even after nearly a century of being single), it was the rest that he found complicated.

The man didn't mind consoling people and wiping their tears, giving them a friendly shoulder to cry on, and although the display of emotions could make him uncomfortable sometimes, he was happy to help, more than anything. It was when his partners asked him to be vulnerable that all Hell broke loose.

It's not that he didn't trust the people he dated, he didn't have any secrets - much to his distaste, his past was very public and anyone could just make themselves known of his trauma if they so pleased - but he did not want to dissect anything. Bucky did not want to think about it, much less talk about it, and he wanted to explain his feelings even less. He'd soon find out that his partners disliked that in him, they loved how caring he was, but they felt as if Bucky was only attentive as a way to make up for hi emotional unavailability, to make up for not being able to let anyone in other than at a surface level.

Multiple people had explained it to him, they told him that people felt hurt when they would expose so much of themselves and not get the same amount of trust back, and Bucky understood it (he wasn't a robot, after all, human emotions and behaviours weren't foreign to him), but the man still couldn't bring himself to open his heart up to anyone.

Whenever he did do it, on his last relationship, it wasn't enough, and it sent him spiraling.

He was sitting on the couch, arm lazily draped over the shoulders of the pretty girl he had taken on a few dates. She was beautiful, kind, genuine, mature... Everything was right with her, Bucky really wanted to make it work. The girl was telling him a story, he could no longer remember what it was about, something about feeling lonely in the world and trying to overcome it by putting herself out there.

Then came his turn to share. Ah. He recognized the look in her eyes, as if silently asking "can you relate to what I'm saying?". It would be cocky (and a lie) to say that he couldn't see himself in what she said, he had to respond, he knew he had to say something, to share.

"I was an army brat, my family moved around a bunch so I didn't have many friends growing up, I only met Steve when I was around thirteen, but up until then moving around had me feeling pretty lonely." Bucky had a small smile as he told the story, remembering his old friend, whom at the time was but a frail boy that needed much protection.

The girl to his side, however, scrunched her nose. He could tell she wasn't happy about the answer.

"Haven't you felt lonely... recently?" She asked, more specifically.

Bucky tried to fight it, but he couldn't help the way his body stiffened at the question. Of course his answer was an attempt at dodging the question, he wasn't actually sharing something vulnerable, just as she had, he was simply sharing a memory from a time when he was happy and comfortable, the girl wanted something that told her what kind of person he was in the present.

Millions of thoughts ran through his head - the cold walls of the H.Y.D.R.A dungeon where he was tortured and treated as less than, the small apartment in Bucharest where he hid while trying to figure out who he was, the time he spent in the Avengers tower, getting side eyes and being seen as some "unstable threat one wrong move away from snapping" by everyone, the flat he rented and slept alone in after Steve left. Bucky had felt lonely plenty of times - most of his life, really, but it wasn't something he was willing to explore, it was too deep, too real, and too soon.

The man smiled and chuckled dryly, trying to mask the discomfort of the situation.

"More recent? Are you calling me old?"

He tried cracking a joke to shake away the tension he had unknowingly created in the air, desperately licking his lips and brushing his hair back with one hand to distract himself (and her) from the fact that he was trying to stray away from the girl's question.

Upon hearing his comment, she straightened herself on the couch and turned her body to look at Bucky.

"Listen, James, you're a great guy, you don't find many people like you nowadays, so I tried my best and I stuck around because of that, but you've built this... wall. And it's impenetrable. No matter how much I try to get to know you under the surface level, no matter how much I share of me, I don't get the same from you. And- and this isn't an insult to you, but I need more, I can't be wondering what you're thinking and feeling all the time, and I can't be guessing what triggers you or not every day, I'm sorry."

That conversation lived in his head every day. Bucky apologized, it was all he could do, really. He gave her a reassuring hug and yet another woman walked out of his front door to never come back, leaving a sour taste on his mouth and a heavy feeling of disappointment on his chest, as if he was a freak, as if something was deeply wrong with him.

Months passed, Bucky sat with himself and his thoughts on his couch, alone, with a glass of bourbon in hand, wondering if he'd ever find a partner, if he'd ever be able to free himself from the muzzle that kept him from speaking, if he'd ever be able to tear down the wall within him that everyone criticized so much.

Bucky couldn't get drunk, one of the unfortunate side effects of the serum that had been given to him - yet another thing that helped make people vulnerable and it didn't work on him. But he was still human, and, one dark night, the amount alcohol he consumed was too much, and he got sick, so much so that the air coming in from the open windows wasn't enough. He opened his front door and dragged himself to the rooftop, thinking the cold breeze would do him some good.

There wasn't a single cloud in the sky, only bright stars and the occasional blinking lights of a plane passing overhead. Bucky preferred the natural sounds of Wakanda, or the ones from Brooklyn in the 30's, they were both much quieter, but he had learned to find peace in the busy city noises. The cold hair hit him in the face and helped the sickness substantially - he hadn't noticed how stuffy his apartment had gotten, be it from the heat, or from all of the tension and sulking he had been doing within those four walls.

"Got a lighter?"

The voice startled him - which was surprising, he was usually very aware and observant, he just didn't expect to find anyone up there, alone, at such a late hour.

He looked in the direction of the voice, finding you sitting down against a wall, with a blunt between your lips, smacking the lighter against your palm.

Bucky patted his pockets, hinting at the fact that he brought nothing with him.

"Don't smoke, sorry." He responded dryly.

You shrugged, and tried lighting your blunt again. You flicked the wheel of the lighter, the rasping sound and small sparks filling the air, but no flame.

"Can I?" Bucky offered, finally, extending his hand your way.

He disliked not being useful, so he would at least try to help whenever he could.

Your eyes flickered between the man and the lighter, before you shrugged, stood up and handed him the items.

You watched as he took it, placing the blunt between his lips. He covered the joint and lighter with the palm of his free hand, and the flicking, metallic sounds resumed. After a few tries, a small flame ignited, big enough to light the poorly-rolled blunt. Bucky breathed in the smoke as he lit it up, then breathing it out, and a small cloud separated the two of them before the man used two fingers to take the joint from his lips, handing it back to you, as well as the lighter.

"Thanks," you said, taken aback by his skill "I thought you said you didn't smoke."

You took a hit and blew out the smoke, then turning your head to look at him.

"For someone who doesn't do this, you sure know your way around it." You joked.

The man curved the corner of his lips in a half smile and chuckled.

"When you're a hundred years old, there isn't much you haven't tried." Bucky responded.

He didn't know if you knew who he was, but he suspected as much - he'd heard the whispers in the hallways and around the corners when he moved in, and they hadn't stopped, so the man guessed you had heard them too.

You blinked a few times and tapped the side of the joint with your index finger.

"Are you actually a hundred?"

His half smile expanded into a full smile.

"Well, I fought in the second World War, so I gotta be over a hundred."

"Damn..." You covered your mouth with your hand quickly once you realized what you had said, but Bucky had already burst out laughing.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to... you know. It's just that the people around here say a lot of stuff and it's kind of hard to distinguish truth from farse."

Bucky's smile faltered a little, not because he was sad, but because for the first time, he met someone who questioned what they heard, someone who didn't instantly believe every horror story and every rumor about him.

"Well, what did you hear?" The man asked.

You shrugged, you didn't really want to throw all of the awful things you'd heard to his face, especially because you questioned the veracity of most of them.

"I heard you're a ladies man."

Bucky threw his head back with laughter, something he hadn't done in a long time. He expected it to be something dark, something vile and horrendous, like the rumor of his mind still being controlled by H.Y.D.R.A, but your sincere, genuine tone about something so silly... it was refreshing, and it caught him off guard (in a good way).

"Ms. Dolores from down the hall sees everything, you know? And she tells everyone's business to everyone."

The male brushed his hair back with one hand, and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"I used to be." He admitted, flatly, memories of his young self back in Brooklyn suddenly flooding his memory.

"Well, if a stud like you is having a hard time, then it's curtains for the rest of us, common folk." You joked, blowing yet another cloud of smoke in front of you.

The soldier laughed again, and a small, involuntary blush spread on his cheeks.

"Well, unfortunately it's not all about looks." Bucky commented, and you nodded, taking a long drag from the joint.

You read between the lines of what he was saying, the underlying sad tone that told you he had a hard time finding a connection with someone. You'd seen him before, feeding the cats in the alley next to your building, leaving medicine and food by the doorstep of the elderly neighbours when they were sick, recycling... You knew he wasn't a bad person, so you assumed his lack of connections stemmed from his history.

"The words get stuck in your throat, and they don't wanna come out. You try to speak, but it feels heavy in your chest. Right?" You said.

You'd been there before, you had a relationship several years prior, one where you shared everything, you poured your heart out to that person and they weaponized it against you at the very end. They threw it back in your face and used your deepest, darkest fears as flaws, as a reason not to date you, as a reason to call you a freak.

It took a long time before you were able to trust anyone again, several therapy sessions before you could actually speak to the therapist about the very reason why you sat in her office. It was her that prescribed the weed, at first, for the anxiety. It was meant to be for that, but it had been two years and you had gotten accustomed to using weed as a way to escape from feeling... well, anything. But the pretty boy next door didn't need to know that.

You were able to trust your friends again, to tell them your thoughts and emotions, but after that you remained single, never able to confide in someone with your heart.

Bucky licked his lips and chuckled - a humourless chuckle, he was in disbelief to be understood, for the first time.

"Right."

You were stuck on his mind, after that night, every single aspect of you, but mostly, how he felt seen by you. He wouldn't admit it though, and he'd never knock on your door and ask to hang out because he was afraid that something that went so well organically would be awkward if forced.

He didn't believe in soulmates, much less in the whole "meant to be" thing, but truth was, he felt attracted to you, in a way that transcended the usual physical attraction that drew him to most women.

Bucky wanted to see you, he wanted to talk to you and go deeper into your mind, to know how much you could relate to him - but how? Would it be too on the nose if he went up to the roof again?

He had no way of knowing that you were already up there waiting for him - it was unconscious, you used to hang out and smoke there because your landlord didn't allow smoking in the apartment (and the meticulous little shit always seemed to know when you did), but you found yourself looking at the heavy metal door, waiting for a certain big, blue-eyed man to come through it.

But Bucky didn't come, too scared to just follow his heart - after H.Y.D.R.A, he had taken a logical, practical approach to life, there had to be a proper reason for every of his actions, and he didn't accept "because I want to see them" as reason enough to go up those stairs and look for you.

A week passed and you didn't see him again. You also didn't go looking for him, you suspected he knew where to find you, and if Bucky didn't come, it was because he hadn't enjoyed your company all that much.

Fate (or convenience) seemed to be determined on bringing you together, however.

Your sink was clogged, you had watched a Youtube video on how to fix it and then stood in front of it, wondering if you wanted to take the chance to save money and do it yourself (and then possibly spend hundreds to have a handyman fix your mess), or if you should just skip straight to the handyman part.

You sighed, eventually deciding on saving yourself the time and the trouble.

"Hi, Ms. Dolores! Do you happen to have the number of any affordable handymen? My kitchen sink is clogged and I don't want to risk calling some random guy that's going to overcharge me." You asked your elderly neighbour, hoping she'd have some advice.

"Hello, dear! I could give you the number of my plumber, but the young man at the end of the hallway, the soldier boy, he fixed my plumbing issues last time I had them, why don't you give him a try, hm? I bet he wouldn't say no to a pretty face like yours!" The woman said with a smile, reaching up to pinch your bashful cheek.

"Thank you, Ms. Dolores." You said quietly, and bid goodbye.

You didn't move, however, standing in front of the woman's closed door as you looked at the outside of Bucky's apartment. Couldn't hurt to try, it's not like you were going over there to ask to be friends, you were simply asking for a favour - well, another one, given he'd been kind enough to light your blunt for you. You were walking over there for a logical reason, there were no feelings behind it, or so you told yourself.

Before you knew it, your body had already decided for you, and you knocked on his door, softly but loud enough for anyone inside to hear.

Bucky didn't get many visitors, so he was surprised to hear the knock. He was even more surprised to find you on the other side of the door.

The man had never taken a good look at you, he had never paid attention, not even that day on the roof, since you were wearing a big, large sweater with your hood up to protect yourself from the cold, but now that you stood in front of him he couldn't help but to note every feature of your face that had gone unnoticed by him - every single one of your beautiful traits.

"Hey!... You?" He realized suddenly he hadn't asked for your name, and embarrassment struck him.

"Y/N." You introduced, shyly realizing that you had a conversation with the man without ever saying your name.

"Right, Y/N, sorry about that." Bucky laughed awkwardly "What can I do for you? Got another blunt that needs lighting?"

The man chuckled and crossed his arms in front of his chest. The corners of his eyes crinkled and his lips formed the most beautiful, charming smile. You were caught in a trance for a second, but masked it by awkwardly laughing at his joke.

"Well, actually, I think a pipe is clogged in my kitchen and Ms. Dolores very charitably recommended your services, but if you're busy I can just call someone else!" You explained.

"On a Sunday? No one's picking up that phone call, sweetheart. Let me just get my tools and I'll be right there, okay?"

The nickname came out naturally, and you could tell it was a pet name he used on the regular, that it probably didn't carry any real weight, but it still made your heart skip a beat.

"Right... The days of the week get jumbled in my mind sometimes." You laughed awkwardly "I'm two doors down, just knock whenever you arrive! Oh, and thank you!"

If you weren't already attracted to Bucky, seeing him all sweaty in a tight, white tank top would've done it for you.

"I didn't know you were a repairman, James." You said, leaning against your kitchen table.

The man got startled by the name, and banged his head against the pipes as he came out from under the sink to look at you.

"Ow! James?" He asked, softly rubbing the sore spot on his temple.

"Yeah, it's your name, right?"

A million scenarios ran through your head, what if you had misheard his name? What if you read his name wrong at the museum and James was someone else? Oh God, you had messed up.

The man just laughed and licked his lips.

"Yeah, it's my first name, but no one's used it in... well, ever, really. It's always been Bucky, or Sergeant Barnes." He explained, cleaning his hands on an old rag he had brought along as he reached for a different tool in his toolbox.

"Bucky? How the fuck do you get 'Bucky' from the name James?" You asked, with furrowed brows and a confused voice.

"You don't," he said and chuckled lightly "it comes from my middle name, Buchanan."

You opened your mouth and a small "oh" came from it, as he explained the nickname.

"But about what you said, I work in a garage. Fixing bikes and cars mostly, but sometimes people bring old junk around for me to fix, dishwashers and all, once you get the hang of it, everything feels like pretty much the same."

He picked up a wrench, and you couldn't peel your eyes away from the way his muscles flexed as he tightened the loose parts that connected the pipes. You swallowed and blinked rapidly, forcing your gaze away from him before it became awkward.

"Bikes, hm? You ride?"

"I do." Bucky smiled softly "But bikes and cars don't talk, makes it easier to work. I tried bartending before, but there was too much socializing."

That was somewhat... calming. Maybe Bucky didn't strike a conversation with you again because he wasn't very social, or because he didn't feel very comfortable around people - maybe you weren't the problem.

You were usually good at dissecting people from a distance, but you could never tell when it came to people's attitude towards you... you simply couldn't put your finger on it. You always blamed yourself, saw yourself as the problem, so it was easier to walk away and not even try, rather than getting hurt once again.

"Don't costumers talk?" You asked, trying to get the conversation going.

He chuckled.

"We got someone for that. Some young guy looking for a job came in, talked his ass off, monologued for about five minutes about giving him an opportunity. Bob's a good kid but he blabbers a lot - which is good for costumer service, something I'd rather pay someone to do."

You nodded along to what he said - he definitely wasn't a people person then, which was odd, he seemed great at conversation...

"I swear I'm not rude, I'm just no good at small talk." Bucky explained, as he realized how antisocial he must've sounded.

He didn't want you thinking he was some weirdo who couldn't talk to people (or didn't want to), Bucky just wasn't very good at faking interest or kindness. He had once been good at that, and you could tell that he was a charming man from the way he spoke to you, but life hadn't been kind to him and the young, flirty kid from Brooklyn that he had once been was locked away behind the big heavy walls he had unknowingly built.

"How much do I owe you?" You asked, as soon as he began putting away his tools.

Bucky looked up at you with his pretty blue eyes, a hint of mischief that told you there was no way he would let you pay, and then looked back at his toolbox as he shut it.

"Don't worry about it." The man said, confirming your suspicions.

He loved to help, Bucky loved to feel useful, as a way of compensating for not being good with words, for not being very warm and inviting when it came to his looks.

"What? No way, Bucky-" You began complaining, but he cut you off almost instantly.

"I mean it, it was no problem, took me like, twenty minutes."

He was too kind, as you had guessed, from all of the things you had seen him do. But that felt like taking advantage of his kindness, you felt like you owed him, and you didn't like owing anyone.

"At least let me offer you a drink then. Wine?"

Bucky stood up, towering over you, and smiled. He knew you wouldn't back down (thankfully), and that was just the chance he needed (and wanted) to talk to you, something he had been wanting to do ever since you exchanged your first couple of words.

"How about I wash up first, and we can have that drink then?"

You wouldn't have minded sweaty Bucky next to you, his glistening, golden skin, and his sweaty strands of hair that he constantly brushed back in a way that shouldn't be sensual - but it was.

"I'll be waiting for you on the roof."

You wondered if he had worn those grey sweatpants just for you, if he knew of your adoration for those pants. When he waltzed outside, in his unholy form, your eyes couldn't stop themselves from wandering.

The white t-shirt he wore was tight on his chest and shoulders, not leaving much to the imagination, and his sweatpants hung dangerously low on his hips - whenever he raised his hand to brush his hair back you could see a glimpse of his skin, a tad of his hip bones peeking out in the most tempting way.

You nervously picked up the two glasses you had bought and extended him one, as the male took a seat beside you, back against the brick wall just like you.

"I hope you enjoy this eight dollar wine that I carefully picked out from the clearance aisle."

Bucky flashed a smile that you caught from the corner of your eye as you focused on pouring him drink.

When both of your glasses had a decent amount of wine, you clinked them together and said "cheers" in unison. Both of you took a sip, and although Bucky tried to mask the disgust, you could see his brows twitch slightly as soon as he took a sip.

The sour, unpleasant taste danced on your tongue and you winced, almost as if it pained you to savour something like that. You smacked your tongue against the roof of your mouth a couple of times, trying to get rid of the nasty aftertaste, and set the glass down in front of you.

"That's eight dollars alright... Sorry." You apologised.

"No, no, it's... good?" Bucky said, and you would've thought someone so old would've learned to lie at some point.

You cocked your head to the side and raised a brow at him, clearly not believing those words (especially in the tone they were delivered in).

"Okay, fine, it sucks." He admitted, setting the glass down by his side as well.

"I guess we won't be getting drunk tonight." You sighed, and leaned your head back against the brick wall.

"Ah, well, I can't get drunk anyways." Bucky blurted out.

He didn't mean to admit that, he didn't mean to say something that would lead to a part of his life that he did not want to reveal, but in an attempt to make you feel better about the poor choice in wine, it just came out, naturally (which was very uncharacteristic of him).

"Are you on antibiotics or something?"

Bucky chuckled at the sweet innocence of your question, finding it amusing how you seemed to overlook the fact that he was a super soldier - he wondered if you did it on purpose, in attempt to make him feel normal, or if it was genuine forgetfulness. Whatever it was, he appreciated it.

"Yeah, an antibiotic called super soldier serum." The male joked, catching you off guard.

"So you can't get drunk? Like, ever? Is that why you rejected the blunt the other day? You can't get high?"

"Touché, sweetheart. Everything is enhanced, including our metabolism. Can't get drunk, can't get high."

Bucky expected more questions, it always happened. He didn't blame people for being curious about his person, it wasn't like he was some average Joe after all, but it bothered him - it felt like they were dissecting him. He felt exposed and vulnerable, which made him uncomfortable.

What he didn't expect, however, was the question that followed.

"Is it harder for you to cum?"

His head snapped to look at you, with wide eyes, raised eyebrows and a shocked expression that Bucky couldn't control. To his surprise, you were looking at him with the exact same amount of shock and surprise, as if what you had just said was a rogue thought that had escaped past your lips.

"I'm sorry- I'm- I don't know what I was thinking, that was so inappropriate-"

Before you could apologize once more, Bucky threw his head back in boisterous laughter, his hand was over his chest and small tears formed on the corner of his eyes. The sound was simply marvelous, and you couldn't help but join in with shy giggles.

The male took a deep breath and turned to look at you, head still rested against the cold wall behind you.

"I haven't laughed like that in years, Y/N, thank you."

"So... you're not offended that I asked that?"

He shook his head no, a devious smile playing on his lips.

"And the answer is no, but I do have more stamina." He winked as he finished the sentence.

You didn't expect an actual response to the question, let alone one so raunchy and flirty, one that made your thighs press together as you imagined what promise hid behind those words.

From that night on, it was pretty clear to the both of you that you enjoyed each other's company - you just didn't know to what extent.

You both dipped your toes in the pool further and further each day - Bucky would place his hand on your lower back to guide you, you'd brush your thigh against his when sitting down, his touch would linger on you longer than necessary...

The visits to the roof became more frequent, it somehow seemed more intimate than inviting each other over for a drink inside, as if that was your secret spot, hidden away from everyone, where you could look at the stars and take in the breeze of the night and the cold air.

"Hey."

You hugged you legs against your chest and rested your chin on your knees as you waited for Bucky and, when you heard his voice, it was almost like a trigger to your happiness. You couldn't help the smile from spreading on your face, and the warm feeling on your chest, or the way your heart beat faster. You ignored it all.

"Hey there!"

Bucky sat next to you and extended a glass, before waving a bottle of Cutty Sark in the air playfully.

"I don't trust it, Sarge. What if you replaced what's inside to get back at me for that wine?" You joked, as you extended your glass for him to pour the scotch in.

The male's face contorted in disgust upon remembering the bitter taste from some nights ago.

"No one deserves anything like that, dollface."

You nudged him softly with your elbow, as you pretended to be insulted by the dig he took at your cheap wine, and you hoped he couldn't see the small smile that crept up on your face upon hearing the pet name.

"So... my friend set me up on a blind date the other day..." You said, breaking the comfortable silence that the two of you would often sit in.

You didn't know what had pushed you to say that, but you found yourself wondering if you'd be able to maintain the friendship with Bucky if you were to suddenly get a boyfriend. You weren't sure if it could be called a friendship yet, it had only been a couple of weeks since the two of you had spoken for the first time, but there was an underlying layer of understanding between the two of you, something that made whatever the two of you had transcend past "just acquaintances".

"Yeah? How'd it go?" The male asked, out of instinct.

"Well," you began, looking down at your glass as you swirled the drink within it "it's Saturday night and I'm sitting on a rooftop drinking with you instead of hanging out with him, so I'll let you guess."

Bucky chuckled as he took a swing of the scotch. He felt sorry, but at the same time relieved that your date hadn't gone anywhere.

"You know, I don't know what's worse, getting through the small talk in the beginning, or feeling forced to share deep parts of your life just on the off chance that you might click." You admitted, thinking back to your date.

Bucky sighed and nodded in agreement - his desperation to prove himself worthy of love had lead him to a fruitless and forceful pursuit of connection. Your refusal to fully trust anyone with yourself, with your heart and your vulnerabilities, had lead you to the same dead end, and so the two of you found yourselves lonely and alone, together.

There was suddenly a shift in the mood, it became heavy and stuffy, as if your bad date confession had taken the two of you to consider your love life, and where it had gone wrong.

But even then, even when the you both knew you could relate to each other's emptiness and loneliness, you refused to share any feelings.

"How about we finish this drink and I take you on a ride down to my shop?" Bucky suggested, unsettled by the atmosphere that had ensued, and unsure of how else to break it.

"Your shop? Look at Mr. Successful over here." You mocked.

Bucky licked his lips and rolled his eyes in the most enticing way you had ever seen.

"Do you want to or not, sweetheart?"

There he was again with the pet names. If only he knew how those made your stomach flip and turn...

You downed the remaining drink in your cup and Bucky widened his eyes at you.

"Woah there cowgirl, easy on the drinks!" He joked, as he stood up and extended his hand for you to take.

You stood up, with his help, and pushed the empty glass against his chest.

"I'll be fine!" You said (or hoped).

You could feel Bucky's muscles flex under your touch as you wrapped your arms around his torso.

"You good back there?" He asked, looking over his shoulder.

You nodded, and a couple seconds after you heard the roaring from the motorcycle's engine. Your bodies were glued together, your chest pressed against his toned back, arms circled around his waist and thighs squeezing his legs from the nerves and excitement.

Bucky found freedom in riding his bike, the wind on his face, cutting through the elements with whatever speed he pleased, on his way going nowhere and everywhere. That night he had to go slower, he had to control his movements a lot more because you were in the back and he didn't want to scare (or hurt) you, but he didn't miss the adrenaline, he found comfort in your presence.

He couldn't help but to smile at the sound of small giggles coming from you. The male would sometimes speed up slightly or do a curve a little too recklessly because he found your reactions simply adorable.

The motorcycle soon came to a halt, in front a somewhat large brick building with two big garage doors and a regular front door in between.

You climbed down from the bike, fixing your hair as you removed the helmet Bucky had given you. You looked up and saw the sign with the name of the establishment.

"The Garage..." You read "Creative!"

Bucky, whom was already heading towards the door of the shop, looked over his shoulder.

"Funny. I'm not good with names, and I thought it should be straightforward, you know? It's a garage, I fix automobiles, that's enough!" He explained, as he reached for his back pocket to grab the keys to the entrance.

He slid the metal into the lock and turned it a couple of times. Bucky gripped the handle of the door and pushed it open, then stepping aside and giving you space to walk inside before him. You didn't expect someone who was so socially awkward to be so polite and gentleman-like. You had assumed, to a certain point, that he had lost some manners along the way, that he'd forgotten certain social cues, but you were proven very wrong.

"This is where I work, used to be a smaller place close to home but more people started bringing in stuff for me to fix, so I had to expand the place. And the team too."

Bucky leaned against one of the cars and stared as you walked through the shop and curiously looked around.

"Do you need to use a jack or can you just lift the car with that shiny arm of yours?" You asked, pointing at his vibranium arm.

The male found it amusing how you always had the strangest questions about his abilities - they were always things no one had ever thought to ask, things that didn't really matter, and he appreciated that.

"I can lift them up, but I still need to use the jack while I'm working." Bucky explained.

"Show me!"

Bucky raised his eyebrows at you and licked his lips to mask an amused smile.

"You want me to lift a car, right now?" He questioned.

You walked over to him and knocked on his vibranium arm, almost expecting it to make the sound of an empty trashcan when knocked over.

"It's not like it's gonna hurt your arm." You joked with a giggle.

"I guess you're right." Bucky agreed, and pushed himself off the car.

The man walked around the vehicle and stood behind it. His enhanced arm reached underneath the machine and pulled it up, successfully lifting up the back of the car, as if it was nothing, as if he was lifting up a pen from a desk.

Your mouth was agape as you stared in awe. You couldn't see his bicep flex as the arm was machine-made, but something about the whirring sound and the vibranium twisting and turning made you feel things in the pit of your stomach - not quite the butterflies a teenage girl would feel when walking by her crush, definitely not that. Bucky's constant display of strength and virility ignited something much more animalistic inside of you.

Your gaze followed his movements as Bucky slowly placed the car down, not wanting to be too rough and risk messing up the client's car.

Before you could process it, your feet walked over to him on their own. Your eyes were glued to his arm, and you mindlessly traced it with your index finger. Bucky watched you carefully, entertained by the sight, excitedly waiting for you next move - he could never tell what you were thinking, what you'd do next, which made being in your company that much more fun.

You looked up at him, there wasn't much of a distance between your faces, you could smell his cologne and his natural musk - a combination you found yourself hypnotized by.

"I wonder what else those hands can do..." You blurted out.

Your face felt hot, you slowly looked away, too shy to meet his gaze after your dirty comment, but you didn't move, you didn't dare step back and neither did he.

Suddenly, Bucky's hand grabbed your chin and made you look at him - the grip wasn't rough, it was tender, but firm, as if saying "you can leave, but I really don't want you to".

"Is this the scotch talking?" The male asked in a low, husky voice, as he turned his head to the side slightly.

His eyes shifted between your eyes and lips, his intentions were clear, but Bucky didn't intend to hide them.

"Sure, let's say that." You responded, hinting at the fact that it most definitely wasn't the alcohol, but something else that had been building up within you.

The two of you knew the implications in what you were about to engage, you knew that one kiss would change everything, it would open the doors to something. You weren't quite sure what, but you wondered if there could be a wall between your emotional connection and your sexual relationship (if that were to happen), if the two things could co-exist without getting mixed and intertwined.

Your faces inched closer, moving out of their own volition, ignoring whatever thoughts crossed their minds.

At first it was just a peck. Your lips touched momentarily, in a kiss that could be seen almost as negligible. It was an experiment, a trial to make sure that you two definitely wanted to do that, that it wasn't just from the proximity, from the hormones, from the moon shining down on you from the big window to your left, or from the dim lighting of the room.

The moment your lips met, it felt like throwing gasoline on a flame - the fire ignited even more, it was now wild and out of control.

It escalated quickly and violently. Bucky's body pushed you against the hood of the car, until you were leaning against it. He forced your legs open with his knee so he could stand between them, his hands grabbed your ass and brought your body against his so he could feel your cunt pressed against his hardening cock.

Your hands were entangled in his hair, making a mess of it as he made a mess of you.

The small groans he let slip every so often sounded like Heaven, they were like nothing you had ever heard before, and you were sure you could get yourself off to that alone.

You pulled away for a second, and your fiery, hungry gazes were locked on each other - begging for more, needing more. Bucky wanted to take you back home and fuck you properly, but he didn't know if he could wait, the man would happily take you on the hood of the car as well, and then take you back home for a second round.

From the corner of your eye, however, you could see something... no, not something, but someone.

"Oh my God who is that?!" You shrieked, as your eyes widened in horror.

Bucky turned around quickly, and looked in the direction of your gaze, to find a man, on the corner of the room, standing awkwardly and waving stiffly with a goofy smile on his face.

"Bob? Bob, what are you doing there- what are you doing here? The shop has been closed for hours."

"John left and I guess he forgot I was in here as well, he locked me in." Bob said, and he sounded just as uncomfortable as you felt.

"And you didn't think to call anyone?" Bucky asked, annoying and irritated at the situation that had ensued.

"Oh, none of you gave me your number."

Bucky held the bridge of his nose between his thumb and index finger and placed the other hand on his hip as he sighed - public displays of affection were his worst nightmare, let alone in front of co-workers. He was mortified, trying to stand in a way that would make his boner less obvious to his co-worker - Bob had already heard too much, he didn't need to see it too.

"Door's open, Bob. You could've just left." Bucky said, looking down at the ground still.

"Yeah but then you were lifting the car and that was super cool so I wanted to watch. But then-"

"I know what happened after, Bob. You don't need to tell us just- please go." The male cut off his co-worker as he finally looked up, unable to look Bob in the eye.

"See you tomorrow, Boss!"

You were left in awe as Bob's steps echoed in the building and then faded into obscurity after the door shut behind him. You didn't know what to say, or think. You weren't even sure of how to feel, but one look at Bucky told you he was not happy.

Not at all, he was stiff as a board, his eyebrows were furrowed and he had that terrifying, locked expression that he usually walked around with. He sighed, finally, ran his fingers through his hair and extended you one hand.

"Come on, let's get you home."

"minors do not interact" banner credit: @cafekitsune

[im-not-a-ghost]

Crush series : What would happen if you confessed your feelings?

This reading is to be used with caution. Tarot is a tool to highlight possibilities. As energies are constantly in movement, no outcome is ever set in stone. Thus, always use your discernment when consuming such content.

Group 1 - Why do you still love me? Temperance, Ace of pentacles, 2 of wands, the Wheel of fortune

I get that for many of you, the person you’re thinking about has no idea about your feelings for them. You may have tried to give them signals but it seems like either this person ignored them or were not able to read them. So you confessing your feelings would definitely surprise them and throw them off. At first, they would be intimidated. They would possibly doubt the sincerity of your words. But quickly, they would try to see the brighter side of things and would feel curious about what this heralds for both of you. Eventually, they would want to give this connection a try. I feel like this person would tip toe around the matter for fear that it could stop at any moment and be taken away from them. I feel like this person is not used to things going in their favor so every time something good happens to them they automatically raise their guards up and doubt it is real. I feel like they would be giddy about it and when they’d be alone, they’d definitely feel excited but they wouldn’t show it in front of you. It would take time for this person to fully open up and trust you. But overall the outcome feels rather positive for this group.

Signs : Sagittarius, Taurus, Scorpio, Aquarius, Leo

Group 2 - Long as we keep this low key

Lovers, ace of wands, king of swords, Judgment

This person wouldn’t hesitate compared to group 1. I feel like this is a long time coming. This person was possibly waiting for you to make a move because they were unable to. I feel like they would give in to the connection right away, but only on a physical level. Emotionally, they would still feel distant because this person fears intimacy oddly enough. Being close physically isn’t a problem to them but having someone deeply understanding them and caring for them scares the shit out of them. This person isn’t fond of grand gestures and being vulnerable in front of others. They are the type of person that would keep a relationship private, even to their family. It could be that this person is already committed to someone else, for some of you. If not that, maybe it is a matter of reputation or acceptance among peers. Either way, I feel like the connection with them might not be as fulfilling as you’d hope. But they’d answer somewhat positively to it.

Signs : Gemini, Scorpio, Aquarius, Aries

Group 3 - Amazing grace

2 of wands, 3 of pentacles, 6 of pentacles, 7 of wands

I feel like right from the get go this person would be very happy about your confession. Out of the 3 groups this feels like the most sane and healthy reaction. They would be cautious about it but they wouldn’t feel ashamed or fearful of what you feel for them. They seem very open minded and accepting of your point of view. This person would quickly think of ways to make this work for both of you. They would want to get to know you better, to find a balance between your expectations and theirs. They would be planning every step of the relationship because it matters to them and they feel like they have to protect what you share at all costs. This is a person that doesn’t want you to regret choosing them. They want to feel worthy of your attention and care. They want to honor your feelings. They could feel a bit stressed sometimes because of the pressure they put on themselves to impress and satisfy you. Their intentions would be very good and pure. I get a very lovely energy from this group.

Signs: Taurus, Virgo, Leo

[crk-kr-to-en]

I’m thinking about what you said (at least, I think it was you?) about English Shamil being like Walmart Bill Cipher/Discord. I largely do agree but with one suggested correction- EN Shamil is like the fanon/surface level interpretation of these two characters. Ya see, I’ve been in both those fandoms and engaged with and enjoyed the shows for both- but what I’ve been seeing from your translations from Korean is that Shamil is an incredibly desperate character- and so are Bill Cipher and Discord! What the EN translation turned into “haha look at me I’m crrrraaaaaaaazy 🤪 killing and chaos is fun, who needs a reason?” from the KR source of “Pay attention to me or I’ll blow this whole building up. Also I don’t actually know what I even want and I’ll crash tf out if confronted on it in a way I can’t just lie out of,” is INCREDIBLY similar to Bill Cipher and Discord. Problem is, it is wholly UNLIKE early fanon interpretations of those two. Really, the fanon interpretations of Bill and Discord + the EN Shamil are how they want to be perceived, because of their insecurities (well not Discord by the end because he’s the only one who did NOT fumble a baddie but that’s a different discussion).

In conclusion, all three of them are incredibly desperate and lonely characters who want nothing more to be known, seen, and loved for who they are by someone who can keep up with them but will literally die before they allow themselves to become vulnerable and trusting enough to let that happen, even and especially when it comes to admitting it to themselves (except for Discord everyone say Congrats Discord for actually changing /j).

Hope I didn’t misinterpret Shadow Milk Cookie and that this analysis made sense and was relevant.

Yessss!!! You're right!!!!! (Approved by me and my friend who are certified Korean Shamil enjoyers lol.)

"Discord by the end because he’s the only one who did NOT fumble a baddie" RIGHT!!! HELL YEAH!! LET'S GO DISCORD!!!! I did use Discord as a comparison example for him but only on a comment lol. Anyway, they all share the blueprint of control freak(or emo, edgy and depressed) x some random guy who holds the kindness of a thousands suns(bonus if Jesus coded) in different flavors.

[otomes-and-tears]

*grip you by the shoulder* I need your analysis of the relationship between vesper and Keir-

Pretty please 💗

! CHAPTER TWO SPOILERS !

I think the most interesting aspect of Keir and Vesper's relationship is how, despite the circumstances that brought them together, Keir treats Vesper with a surprising level of respect and openness. It’s not something you’d expect in a dynamic like theirs, especially in a setting like the marketplace, where trusting someone—anyone—can be a massive liability.

Vesper is a big liability, after all. Even if they're being blackmailed, even if the reason Keir picks them is because they're disposable, but show promise, it's still a risky decision that doesn't only put his life at risk, but potentially the people in the mouse hole, which he deeply cares about! But the still puts some level of trust in them. Vesper's followed, sure, but he feeds and houses them. He indulges them in banter, lets them poke fun at him even if he complains about how annoying it all is, And most importantly, he answers their questions.

In a place where no one shows their real face, where people don’t even share their real names, information is currency. It’s survival. But he lets Vesper in, just a little. He tells them about himself, about life underground, and makes sure they know enough to stay safe. Even when he withholds things, like the origins of the Ichor, it’s a difficult choice made for a reason.

I think that has a lot to do with, not only his feelings for Vesper, but the community he's surrounded by and how much those values have shaped him. Both his pursuit of doing good or at the very least as good as he can to help as many people as possible and his inherent kindness. As much as Keir insists he isn't a good man, I think it's really fucking clear that he has a strong moral compass, and most of all, a strong will to keep vulnerable, outcasts safe. He goes above and beyond for that goal, and all his actions are informed by that desire to take care of his community.

Vesper is now a part of his community, for better or for worse, and therefore he extends to them the same level of care and respect he'd show to the others. I think one of the things that really struck me was how we get to see the people in the mouse hole, and most importantly, Keir's inner circle, warming up to Vesper! They include them in their day-to-day chores and welcome them relatively quickly. They're all keeping an eye out for the ichor they oh so desperately need, because in a lot of ways, Vesper is just like them. Another outcast, another person in desperate need of that support and community. I like to think that maybe Keir saw that in them too.

They might not fully realise the weight of it, seeing as how the marketplace's culture differs from the surface's, but Keir is painfully aware of all of this all along.

I think especially of the scene where Vesper opens up about their condition. It's a pivotal moment. In a place like the marketplace, that kind of information falling into the wrong hands could be downright catastrophic. But it's easy for them to open up about it, to show Keir that level of trust. This information exposes their fragility, their desperation. And most of all, they're exposing it to their blackmailer. It would be so easy for Keir to turn this show of trust against them, it's easy ammo. But he doesn't. He listens, he empathises.

I think that's the point where things really shift for them. It's a little moment but I think it's so important to shape how their subsequent relationship, and most of all, I think it's what makes his betrayal by keeping the truth about lunar ichor even more painful to Vesper.

[thatfandomslut]

No Matter What

Regine George x Reader

Word Count: 1.1k

Trigger Warning: insecurity

Request:

Valentine's / Follower Celebration Request; Regina George w/ quote 51 and piece of chocolate 5. Or: “In my opinion, the best thing you can do is find someone who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you.” w/ arguing

Valentine's / Follower Celebration Requests are closed.

"So, what happened?" Cady asked as she passed (Y/n) the glass of water from her counter. What is usually the time that Cady takes to tutor (Y/n) has turned into a therapy session since (Y/n) and Regina are arguing. This was a very rare occasion as they typically settled things in private but Regina brought Karen and Gretchen into it, so (Y/n) has come to Cady. Hence why there was a math book and homework, that was twenty-five percent finished, scattered on the table.

(Y/n) accepted the water gratefully, sighing as she wiped the tears streaming down her cheeks. "I told her I felt uncomfortable with her relationship with Shane Omen. I never said they couldn't be friends. I wouldn't ever tell anyone who to be friends with or they couldn't be friends with. However, she does that for me all the time. That's why I felt like I had the right to at least let her know that the way she was still friends with her ex-boyfriend, the boy she cheated on Aaron with, makes me uncomfortable. Maybe I'm just insecure, but them having a relationship worries me." (Y/n) explained, hoping she didn't sound bitter.

There was a hum that escaped Cady as she listened, nodding carefully. (Y/n) She could see that she was thinking, which made her dread that maybe she had no one on her side. "I understand your worries. I wouldn't feel comfortable either. I think it's actually very healthy to establish boundaries. I also don't think it's fair that Regina has made you unfriend people and then get mad when you express your discomfort with her and Shane." Cady sat beside her, putting a comforting hand on her arm. (Y/n) felt validated by Cady's words, happy to finally have someone who sees the disagreement from her point of view.

"I feel like it wouldn't matter if she didn't cheat on someone else with him. I don't care that she's friends with Aaron or her other exes. It's just Shane." (Y/n) told Cady, leaning back in her seat. She felt a bit embarrassed by how insecure she was, but she knew Cady wasn't judging her. "I just sometimes don't even feel good enough for Regina. Then, I find out she's hanging out with Shane Omen. What am I supposed to think? I know it's bad for me. I'm supposed to trust her. I do trust her. I'm just being insecure. I just really love her."

Cady rubbed her back softly. She understood what (Y/n) was saying. Oftentimes, she felt insecure around the girls herself. But, she knew it was a different level since she was in an actual relationship with Regina. "In my opinion, the best thing you can do is find someone who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you. I honestly feel like that is the love that you and Regina have. Maybe, you two just need to sit down, and maybe you can try to be vulnerable with her like you were with me." She offered softly.

She was right, too. (Y/n) and Regina did share a love that would overcome this. (Y/n) did love Regina despite all of her moods. She loved her in the morning when her hair was messy, she loved her in the afternoon when she was at lunch looking her most confident. "You're right," (Y/n) said softly, looking at her homework. "But first, I really do need help with my homework." They shared a small fit of laughter before Cady helped her finish her work.

After tutoring, she headed to Regina, wondering what she was going to say. Admittedly, (Y/n) felt a bit nervous. She wasn't the best at confrontation. That's why she sat in her car for ten minutes. Eventually, she pried herself from the driver's seat and made her way to Regina's front door. Before (Y/n) could knock or ring the doorbell, Regina opened the door with flushed cheeks. She stared at (Y/n) for a moment before running a manicured hand through her blonde hair. "I saw you sitting in your car for a while." She confessed, looking away a bit.

There was a moment of silence between the two of them, but there was no tension. It was just a thick heaviness of nervousness in the air. "I'm sorry," the two of them said in sync before laughing softly, a bit of awkwardness lifting off their shoulders. It was nice to see their anger over their last argument has finally worn off. (Y/n) always hated when Regina was angry, and Regina always tried to make sure (Y/n) was never angry. They worked together like that, always trying to protect each other's feelings while communicating and telling the truth. Sometimes, it led to little arguments, but the Shane Omen one was one of their bigger blow-ups.

Regina led her into the house, all the way to her room. "I want you to know that I cut off Shane. I realized that you had every right to feel uncomfortable. I'm sorry for invalidating your feelings the way that I did. I hope that you'll be able to forgive me." Regina said with a soft smile. (Y/n) only saw that smile when Regina was feeling vulnerable with her. Unlike (Y/n), Regina wasn't someone who wore her heart on her sleeve. So, when she apologizes, it means she took a lot of time out of her day to consider the things that have happened.

(Y/n) sighed, noticing that Regina's hand was taken into hers still. She laced their fingers together as she got the words sorted in her mind. "I'm sorry, too. I realized that I was just jealous and insecure. I trust you, and I should've made that clear. Instead, I let my fear control me." She explained, feeling tears brim in her eyes as she began to feel embarrassed again. She grew even more embarrassed when the tears began to fall down her cheeks.

Regina wiped the tears away softly, kissing (Y/n) gently on the lips. "(Y/n), I love you. No matter what I love you. I love so much it's crazy. You were valid to feel everything that you felt. The truth is, I should've cut him off a long time ago. None of this was fair to you." She said carefully, pulling away, but letting her hands stay to rub away any stray tear that continued to cascade down her girlfriend's cheeks.

There was a soft smile that pulled at the corners of (Y/n)'s lips as she sniffed. "I love you, too, Regina. No matter what." She said softly, moving in to kiss Regina once more.

[a-d-nox]

pac/pap: message from your past lover/crush

take what resonates leave what doesn't - nothing is 100% for you because these aren't personalized so please no angry comments or dms about what i am saying not being a good fit for you or that you "don't claim" just keep scrolling if that is the case. be kind, self reflect, and have fun.

last pac/pap: message from your future spouse/partner

return to the masterlist of pap/pac posts

paid reading options: astrology menu & cartomancy menu

enjoy my work? help me continue creating by tipping on ko-fi or paypal. your support keeps the magic alive!

pile 1

you two couldn't be together because the universe was testing you both as to whether or not you were ready for a new level of relationship. the universe wanted to see if you could break old patterns - i sense that you both accomplished this test. now it is up to you both to make peace with your past relationships, so you can continue to welcome new energy into your romantic lives. if you are wondering why this person couldn't be here, it was because you both had different visions for the future. their's wasn't a shared common plan or even a solid foundation to keep you together through this part of life.

what they want to let you know is that they were too worried about status and reaching milestones (in life and romantically) to even try and slow down to enjoy a connection with you. they couldn't be in the moment and simply enjoy life - they were too in their head and they are sorry about it. they hope that you find the right relationship at the right time - just be patient and continue to take care of yourself.

staying together or trying to be together would have lead to delusions. things would not have been as they appeared. at first, things would have been too good to be true and quickly you would have learned why. rapid movement often leads to the fizzling out of emotions... too much good leads to a boring connection for a majority of people - you need some conflict to keep the connection interesting and evolving.

i feel like your unrealistic expectation for them was that they were ready to settle down and establish themselves. they weren't. you wanted them to be ready, and you were determined to believe that they were when they weren't. they weren't ready to be with you, you just wanted them to be ready.

its good you aren't together because someone exciting is going to be entering your life, perhaps via a friend. put yourself out there - participate in activities. you might meet them on a vacation, if that is coming up for you. be open to people who you wouldn't typically think of because you assume they will be temporary or that you would assume it would only amount to a fling with them.

what you learned from them was how to take a leap of faith and trust that the universe won't steer you wrong long term. you know now that you can't fear the unknown - everything is just lessons that are meant to expand your consciousness and present you with opportunities. everything that happens to you in the romantic sense is just a part of your personal and spiritual evolution.

the deck says that in 8 weeks or the fall is when you will be ready for the next chapter.

pile 2

you can't be together and you know exactly why. you are confident in yourself and you know your worth. you are worth much more than you were receiving. so it is time that you put yourself out there to meet new people - don't be afraid to show your vulnerability with new people. you need to be open about what you perviously experienced so that you can avoid repeated lessons and reasons for breakups. you latest crush/relationship was tore about you because they were intimidated by your intelligence and your effectiveness in communication was too much for them. they weren't mature enough to match your energy, so they likely ghosted you.

something they never got to say to you was that you shouldn't be as sure as you are. a person is never done learning. you might have came across as cocky and unwilling to understand their perception. there is something to learn in every situation and from every perspective - you just need to be open to do so.

if you tried to make the connection work, you would have lost your spunk. eventually, you would have found yourself incapable of being able to fully express yourself. you would have been incapable of finding joy, playing around, and even be present - you would have become too stoic and wrapped up in your unhappiness and incapable of having fun and laughing.

your unrealistic expectation was that you would never argue or have conflict with them - all relationships have conflict where both sides are heard. it is more about how you manage yourself than it is the fight itself. it helps you to evolve and learn each others triggers - to not fight is to remain ignorant of each other issues, triggers, etc. you want to have a relationship that grows and blossoms, then be open to arguments.

it's for the best that you aren't together because the connection moved too quickly. you both let your excitement of what could happen cloud the reality of the situation. i also sense that they were not just being pursued by you - they had several people's interest.

what you can learn from this experience is that a situation can change at any moment in time, so enjoy it while it lasts. let go of what out stays its welcome - whether it is behavior that is not right or dating patterns. you need to make space for new possibilities when your situation is starting to feel stale.

the deck says that in 5 days (or rather you should have been ready 5 days ago during the aquarius new moon when i was writing/editing this) or spring is when you will be ready for the next chapter.

pile 3

you couldn't be together because there was an imbalance in the connection. I sense that someone was a bit too codependent in this connection. they relied too heavily on their partner to fulfill their needs and had unrealistic expectation for the relationship. in order for any connection to world you have to be able to find your own happiness without depending on another person to provide you with this happiness you seek. someone was too greedy in this connection and someone was too hard on themselves because they tried to make the connection work for a very long time and it just wasn't working. someone cared about how they appeared together more than the other person did - perhaps they were a bit too self-centered. someone still needs to work on their generosity.

something they never got to say to you was that they love you. they truly loved you - they weren't ready to say it at the time but it is true. they really do wish you well. they hope you are happier now than you were with them. they hope you are out somewhere having fun and doing what you have always dreamed to. they also kind of hope that maybe someday you will reconnect with them and if it can't be romantic than at least you can be friends with one another.

this is a connection that had it coming; it just had to end. you both were not ready. you were in two very different places in life and two very different states of mind. you weren't ready for the connection to be what it was. you were both clinging to each other for a very different reason thus it had to end. it is okay they you don't reach out to them. hell it is okay, if you don't reach out to them for a long long time. they love you. they just know that you both need to start fresh and see what else is out there.

your unrealistic expectation of them was that your disputes/disagreements would move to some sort of resolution. you are both very different people and very different people have very different manners of dealing with things. you wanted to move forward and they didn't want to. you might have been an agree to disagree person, while they wanted you to see things from their point of view. one side was always unheard in the connection and it just strained the connection. there was no moving on - to expect that you could was silly in their eyes. perhaps one of your arguments crossed a line you weren't fully aware existed.

it's for the best that you aren't together because someone felt hesitant about taking action and moving forward with the relationship. you should never have to think about whether or not you want to be with someone - the second you have to wait for a moment and think means that you should be on your own to contemplate romantic partnership in general. there was a fear about timing and being out of the comfort zone that each of you knew romantically. passion alone is often not enough when it comes to a partnership.

what you can learn from this experience is that there is a disconnection between you and the other person in most of your relationships. it is okay to admit that too. perhaps you are someone who has a lot of faith that things will just work or one day they will be ready or one day they will commit. it is okay to have faith, but again, if you aren't connecting and hearing what the person is saying (for example, maybe they did tell you they weren't interested in committing to a relationship) then perhaps that is something to reflect on. don't give up - your partner is out there. in the meantime, listen to what others are saying and trust that they mean what they say. it is okay if the truth hurts - you have the power to heal.

the deck says that in 4 months or summer is when you will be ready for the next chapter or to reconnection with this person like I said earlier.

[bootlegramdomneess]

Hello! If is okay I would like to ask you something about how you interpret this aspect of show as a therapist.

Why do you think is Sydney the one that calls Carmy’s panick attacks? (the one in opening day, and that moment in “doors” when she calms him down when he is screaming they are to slow, and because of her, he calms down and the frantic music stops)

Does it had to do with love (even though I also think they are in love) or is because of trust and the bond they share? Secure attachment kind of thing? Is it because the particular type of abuse he has suffered? Or is something about Sydney’s personality? Would love your take on that.

Thank you 🙏🏼

ooo. Thanks for the question. Okay, there are a lot of layers to this

In season one we see Sydney coming into the beef during a time where Carmy was trying to get everyone to understand what he was trying to do, and meeting Sydney, he saw she understood where he was coming from. It had to be a big relief. I think Carmy comes from a space of feeling as though no one truly understands him or who he is. I think meeting Sydney was a shock to his system because here was someone who understood what he was trying to do at the Beef. Here was someone who shared the same vision as him. Similar ideas. Similar plans. Who is passionate about cooking. Here was a person who knew the part of his life (Being a chef) he didn't share with anyone. As time went on, he connected with her on a professional level, he depended on her, he relied on her in a way, i think, he never has with anyone in the kitchen. Sydney has this way about her that can be very disarming. Disarming to the point where he felt comfortable enough to be vulnerable with her in telling her about his Al-anon meetings. I think by the end of the season, he tried to subconsciously sabotage this relationship by exploding on her, but still invited her back into his life---despite her challenging his core beliefs of no one understanding him or he has to do things on his own. Or he can't get close to anyone.

2. In season 2 we see a shift in their dynamic where trust has been built. They've grown closer. They're having conversations about their personal lives. They're giving each other advice. They've built this little family inside the restaurant. Sydney is slowly now integrated into his family. They're literally building their future together. But here Carmy goes, sabotaging things (by bringing the C person into the dynamic) again because his relationship with Sydney is once again challenging his core beliefs. This is the theme I'm starting to notice.

3. Carmy admires Sydney. He values her opinion. He sees interpersonal skills she brings into the kitchen, and into their dynamic, that he wants to mirror himself. (This is partway why he is ALWAYS watching her)

He constantly asks if things are okay between them. He doesn't lie to her. (outside of omitting who the C person was). He tries his best to articulate his feelings to her without her prompting. When he said "I don't want to do this without you. I can't do this without you. You make me better at this." He meant that shit. That is so hard to admit out loud for him because the emotional stakes and the fear of rejection is so high for him. it's obvious he holds her in such high regard because he does not do or say any of those things to anyone else in his life. He ignores them. He shuts them out. He avoids. He doesn't communicate. (Just look at his entire dynamic with the C person. Just look at how he's shut her out completely).

4.This season he feels so ashamed and upset that he left Sydney alone. "I left you alone." After promising to her various times, he won't do that. He is devastated by this. he was yelling GET SYDNEY when he was locked in the freezer because he left her alone. So now he's gone into the extreme mode to try and fix it the things between them even though she didn't feel he abandoned her.

He told Sydney to check him if he's fucking up. He trusts he will listen to her when she does and correct himself. We are now at a point where he does not want to fuck shit up with her anymore. He is now allowing Sydney's presence in his life to challenge his core belief without sabotaging it. I think, Carmy has already casually admitted in his mind that he has strong feelings for Sydney, but I think he's put it in a deli and stored it on a shelf for various Carmy reasons.

So, when Sydney checks him in the kitchen, tells him to calm down, he listens. Sydney doesn't view Carmy as broken. Despite knowing he has anxiety and panic attacks. Despite his emotional issues, despite his family dysfunction. I think Sydney views him as someone who can hold it together. She doesn't coddle him because she sees he is trying and has the ability to get his act together. When she says: "So don't fuck up" is a great example of that.

Sydney is clear in her expectations of him. She holds him accountable. Sydney is gentle and disarming and forgiving in a way he is not with himself and he recognizes he needs that. Him being able to calm down when she tells him to, is her shaping his behavior. His thoughts of her helping him calm from a panic attack is because he trusts her voice. She is the port in the storm. She is the only one he trusts enough to be this way with him. Because he is in love with her.

[tenebraevesper]

Five Nights at Freddy's: Obsolete, Night 24: Reunion

''We can only roam when the monster's put to rest. I just want to go back home and get rid of all this stress. Now I'm all alone, seeing nothing but the dark. I walk without the fear that'll only go so far.''

– Afton Family by KryFuZe & APAngryPiggy

xXxXxXx

''I… I think I saw Glitchtrap.''

Springtrap and Emma stared at Sam, looking shocked when she confessed. Both immediately got on their feet, walking over to Sam, with Emma placing her hands on her shoulders as if shielding her, while Springtrap knelt down to be at her eye-level and held her hands, as if fearing that someone might take her away from him and Emma.

''Sam, are you okay? Perhaps you should sit down,'' Emma suggested. Having been dealing with the supernatural and learning more about Sam and Springtrap's work, she already understood that this was serious. Sam shook her head.

''I wanted to tell you that back when Theresa bullied me, I would either feel Glitchtrap's presence or even see him, and I would have those moments when I'd black out and feel this sudden urge to just end the lives of those who make me miserable,'' Sam said, forcing herself to admit everything she had been going through.

''But, you didn't fall for it,'' Springtrap said, with Sam shaking her head again.

''No, because I knew what was going on and I wasn't going to give in so easily,'' she said in a steady tone, although Springtrap could feel her fingers tremble.

''That's a relief,'' Emma said.

''I'm sorry for keeping this a secret, Mum,'' Sam told her mother, who just smiled back assuringly.

''Don't worry, sweetheart. I'm happy that you trust me enough to share that with me,'' Emma replied, sighing. ''Honestly, it would've been worse if you told me that you've been drinking and smoking behind my back instead of dealing with the supernatural.''

''You can't be serious,'' Sam pouted, rolling her eyes. She did smile in spite of herself, something Springtrap took note of. He knew that Emma just wanted to lighten the mood to make sure that her daughter felt comfortable talking about this stuff.

''You said that you saw and sensed Glitchtrap whenever you were in a stressful situation in the presence of someone whom you hated,'' Springtrap said, drawing their attention. Sam nodded sharply. ''Then, I guess that I don't have to tell you what that means.''

''I know. It's not all too different from those children trying to harm me, although Glitchtrap is in a whole another league,'' Sam said.

''Then, what do you want to do?'' Emma asked, ready to help her daughter no matter how.

''Unfortunately, there isn't anything that we can do,'' Springtrap said, earning a glare from Emma that screamed 'Really?! You got nothing?!'. He got up, staring at the two. ''Unless a spirit has direct access to their victim, they can only manipulate them when they are at their weakest. Sam had shown emotional vulnerability, which allowed Glitchtrap to target her. At the same time, she has shown resilience, meaning that she won't fall victim to any kind of possession, at least not without a fight. Me and you know about her situation also guarantees that we'll know what to do if this happens again.''

''So, there is no imminent solution?'' Emma asked. Sam shifted her gaze from her mother to Springtrap.

''There are only two ways to stop this from happening. Either Glitchtrap loses interest in Sam, which I doubt will happen, or we eliminate him, which is going to be even harder to do since we're dealing with a piece of soul that somehow gained its own individuality and can use a video game to influence people,'' Springtrap replied. Emma took a deep breath, glancing at Sam.

''How do you feel?'' she asked. Sam shrugged, still looking weary, with Emma adding. ''If you want to skip school for the sake of your mental health, I can call your teacher. Just tell me how long you want to stay at home.''

Sam was baffled, and even Springtrap gave Emma a bewildered look. He frowned. ''Who are you and what did you do to Emma?''

Emma shot him an annoyed look. ''Point is, you've been dealing with a lot of stuff. The most I can do is to excuse your school absence and give you time to recover. How you're going to use it is up to you.''

''Thanks, Mum,'' Sam replied with a smile, looking relieved. ''Then, I want the rest of the week off.''

''Sounds reasonable enough,'' Emma said. Sam then left, going back to sleep, with Springtrap turning to Emma.

''You know that she'll be immediately going to Freddy's now that she has free time,'' he told her.

''I know, and I think she needs this. She had been spending months avoiding talking about what had happened after you were gone, and her mental health got worse. Now that she's confronting all of this, she's getting better. It may sound contradictory, but it is what it is,'' Emma explained. ''Not to mention, you'll be keeping an eye on her.''

''True… Still, are you sure you're the real Emma? Because there is no way the real Emma would trust me so easily,'' Springtrap asked, with Emma glaring at him.

''You know, maybe I could put that flamethrower I have to good use now…'' Emma started, with Springtrap giving her a dubious look.

''You're lying.''

''Am I? You find all kinds of stuff at yard sales.'' Emma shrugged, walking upstairs, adding in a sing-song voice, ''Good night~!''

Springtrap couldn't help but feel a sudden chill.

xXx

''Why is that area sectioned off?'' Glamrock Freddy asked, walking up to Glamrock Bonnie. It was early in the morning and they still had some time before the Pizzaplex opened for business, so the Glamrocks ended up roaming around along and observe the human employees.

''A technician told me that they wanted to add more attractions, like an AR Dome, a VR attraction and an Urban Legends Role Play Auditorium,'' Bonnie explained.

''What are you two talking about?'' Glamrock Chica and Roxanne Wolf suddenly approached the two, curious about the commotion.

''It seems like we'll be getting new attractions,'' Bonnie told them.

''Already? But the Pizzaplex had only been open for a couple of days,'' Chica pointed out.

''That means that the Pizzaplex is successful if they want to expand, right?'' Freddy asked.

''Correction. We are successful,'' Roxy said, pointing at herself before folding her arms across her chest. ''The main reason why people come to this place is because they want to see us. As long as this new attraction doesn't overshadow me, I don't care what they're doing.''

''Somebody should also tell Monty, DJ Music Man and the Daycare Attendant about this,'' Freddy said, with the other three giving him dubious looks.

''I'll volunteer for Monty,'' Bonnie said, raising his hand, with Chica and Roxy exchanging glances and Roxy slowly raising her hand.

''I volunteer Freddy to tell the Daycare Attendant,'' Roxy said, much to Freddy's disbelief and everyone else's approval.

''Wait, why did you volunteer me?'' Freddy asked.

''Because I am busy and you were the one who suggested that we tell it,'' Roxy replied, flipping her hair. A sense of tension hung in the air as the rest of the conversation was left unspoken, specifically that none of the Glamrock Animatronics were fond of the Daycare Attendant, considering him creepy, if not even unhinged. They all stayed away from the daycare area whenever they could.

While Freddy did agree with Roxy's sentiment about taking responsibility, he still didn't like the idea of having to visit the Daycare Attendant, even wondering if he could ask the employees whether they could tell it about the new additions. In the end, all he could do is sigh in resignation and walk off to the Superstar Daycare, hoping that the Attendant won't act… weird.

The walk to that area was shorter than he hoped it would be, even after dragging his feet and walking as slowly as possible. Freddy always held the belief that, as the main mascot of the Mega Pizzaplex and leader of the Glamrock Animatronics, he should befriend his fellow animatronics and treat them with kindness. He had success with most of them, even the more isolated Monty, but he simply couldn't extend the same courtesy to the Daycare Attendant. He even tried to call him by his name rather than his title and tried to see as a person rather than just a robot, but he couldn't deny anymore that there was something unsettling about that animatronic. It also didn't help that yesterday, he heard that there was an incident at the daycare where a toddler was found crying in the corner and screaming in fear whenever the Daycare Attendant tried to get close to him. Nobody knew what happened and the Daycare Attendant told the parents that they were just playing when the lights suddenly went out. As for what happened in-between the lights going out and turning on, nobody knew, and Freddy doubted anyone wanted to know.

Despite just being an animatronic with an extremely advanced AI, Freddy couldn't help but note how the emotions he felt were similar to that of a human with a severe case of anxiety as she stood in front of the daycare. He tried to calm down, taking note of how it was open and ready to accept all the small children and toddlers who needed proper supervision that couldn't be provided by their parents or caretakers. He steeled his resolve, entering the daycare area and immediately spotted the Daycare Attendant giving instructions to another robot that was assigned to this area.

That robot in question was the Helpful Automated Pipe Protection Server, also known as Happs, an animatronic built for janitorial and maintenance duties of the tube maze at the far side of the playground which, going by the sign, was supposed to be expanded soon, possibly extend to areas outside the daycare. Freddy rubbed his head, his circuits and wires already feeling overwhelmed by the sheer scale of Fazbear Entertainment's future plans for the Pizzaplex.

''Hello, you two!''

The Daycare Attendant, now in the form of Sun, and Happs, turned to Glamrock Freddy curiously, clearly not expecting his presence at the daycare.

''Hello, Freddy! What are you doing here?'' Sun asked.

''I wanted to inform you about Fazbear Entertainment adding new attractions to the Pizzaplex, but it seems that you are already aware of it,'' Freddy said, pointing at the sign on the tube maze.

''Right, right! But this only means there will be more children who will come to play with me. My excitement can be barely contained!'' Sun replied happily, only to take note of Freddy's uncomfortable look. His cheerful demeanor immediately changed as he asked flatly, ''What?''

''Oh, it is nothing. I am glad that you have no issues with the upcoming changes,'' Freddy replied, trying not to show how nervous he was. ''I should go check on the others now. The Pizzaplex will open soon.''

Sun stared at Glamrock Freddy as he left quickly, then glanced at Happs. ''If I had a nickel every time I got those weird looks from people, I'd have two nickles, which isn't a lot, but tells me that it will happen more often in the future.''

Happs just stared at Sun, not responding. He had no clue what was going on and he didn't care, since he was only here to clean and maintain the area.

xXx

''Monty! Hey, where are you?'' Glamrock Bonnie was walking through the golf course in search for the elusive reptile animatronic, unaware that Monty was hiding in the bushes and ferns with a golf club in his hands and a wide smirk on his snout. If he managed to smash Bonnie into pieces, a new spot in the Glamrock Band would open and he could easily fill it. He just needed the right opportunity, which luckily presented itself. They were both alone here, no employees nor annoying S.T.A.F.F. Bots to keep an eye on them.

Monty observed Bonnie as he walked past his hiding place and slowly approached the bunny animatronic, lifting up the golf club high, his eyes flashing maliciously.

''What are you doing Monty?''

Monty felt as if all of his systems almost crashed down, getting startled by Freddy, who appeared seemingly out of nowhere right behind him. He quickly lowered the golf club before Bonnie could notice him. ''Oh, I was… I was practicing my swingin'. Ya know, to show the kids how a professional golfer hits a hole in one.'' Monty then did a few practice swings as if to demonstrate what he was doing earlier. ''Gotta make sure I don't get rusty.''

Freddy stared at him for a moment, then nodded approvingly. ''That is good. I just wanted to tell you that we will be getting new attractions soon.''

''New attractions?'' Monty lowered the golf club, giving Freddy a look of disbelief. ''Why would they add new attractions? Ain't the ones we have enough?''

Freddy rubbed the back of his head. ''I am not sure. I guess Fazbear Entertainment has deemed the Pizzaplex successful enough to add more attractions.''

''I see… They're gonna give the kids other places they can go to 'n have fun,'' Monty muttered, sounding crestfallen. He lifted his head when Freddy put a hand on his shoulder.

''Do not worry. I am sure that people will see the value of Monty's Gator Golf. You simply do what you always do. You are also a superstar, just like me and the other Glamrocks,'' Freddy assured him. Monty nodded, only for the two to get interrupted by Bonnie. Freddy was happy to see his close friend, while Monty glared at the bunny animatronic, wondering what Bonnie had that made him part of the main band, while he was stuck at this attraction. He gripped the golf club tightly, almost bending it as he watched the two leave, his red eyes glowing in anger and desire to be more than he was now.

Perhaps, one day, he would be the one standing on the main stage.

xXx

Sam took a deep breath, leaning against the rail as she overlooked the Atrium. ''I guess that so far, there is no sign of Glitchtrap… or any murderous activities.''

''If I were you, I'd be more worried whether someone from your school will see you. You are supposed to be at home resting,'' Springtrap, who was standing next to her, said. Sam shot him a glare.

''You're sounding like Mum,'' she grumbled.

''If I'm sounding like Emma, I suppose that means that I'm one step closer to actually sounding like a caring parent,'' Springtrap replied in a snarky tone. Sam just rolled her eyes.

''I guess I could go to Monty's Gator Golf, since there don't seem to be that many people. I did promise Monty a match,'' Sam said. ''Do you want to come along or explore the place on your own?''

''Do you want me to accompany you?'' Springtrap asked. Sam paused for a moment.

''I think I'll be fine on my own. Besides, this is a place where I won't be feeling any negative emotions for Glitchtrap to exploit,'' Sam replied. Springtrap nodded, observing her leave for Monty's Gator Golf. Once she was gone, he went down to the Atrium and continued to walk towards the more secluded areas, parts of the building he knew were not accessible to regular visitors. He knew that if he wanted to learn more about Fazbear Entertainment's plans for this place, he would have to go to the employee-only areas. Even then, it would be difficult to be granted any access, as he figured that he needed to have a special pass, which he doubted they would give to an animatronic.

Fortunately, he was not just any animatronic, but the co-founder of this franchise and knew the inner workings of Fazbear Entertainment better than anyone else. They didn't care too much about their security and would cover up any incidents, whether they were accidental or deliberate. This meant that this place was perfect for a supernatural sentient AI to infiltrate it without anyone noticing.

Well, maybe it is not as easy as I thought. Springtrap's eyes narrowed as he spotted a couple of S.T.A.F.F. Bots patrolling the hallway leading to the employee-only area. The actually reacted to his presence, blocking his path and not allowing him to go further. Frankly, he could just easily take care of them, but something else caught his attention. He spotted a figure further away dashing into another hallway. Ignoring the S.TA.F.F. Bots telling him to turn around, he quickly followed the figure, trying to track it down. He could sense that something about that figure was familiar, but he needed to make sure it wasn't a hallucination.

He turned a corner, only stop and stare at the small figure who was pouting as she observed a vending machine, clearly irritated that she couldn't get anything to drink or the snack she wanted. She then turned around when she sensed Springtrap's presence, her jaw dropping slightly in surprise, her eyes wide as she met the animatronic's gaze.

''Daddy?''

''Elizabeth? What are you doing here?'' Springtrap was stunned to see his daughter, who quickly ran up to him.

''What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in Hell?'' Elizabeth asked in return. Springtrap winced when his daughter gave him a suspicious stare.

''It's… complicated, but I do have a good reason of coming back this time,'' he told her. ''Where are Michael and Sammy?''

''They were with me moments ago. I think they got lost,'' Elizabeth replied, only to be met with a dubious look from her father.

''Really? Are you sure you weren't the one who got lost?'' he asked, with Elizabeth giving him a mischievous grin.

''Nope! I knew where I was going, but maybe we should go find Mike and Sammy. I'm sure they'd want to see you too,'' Elizabeth replied.

''That's a good idea,'' Springtrap replied, walking ahead, with Elizabeth following him. He had to admit that learning about his children have also returned to the realm of the living was quite a surprise, but it was a pleasant surprise. Going by Elizabeth's reaction, they didn't know that he was here too, meaning that they have returned for a different reason.

The two eventually found their way back to the Atrium, looking around for Michael and Sammy. It took them a while, but Springtrap, being a spirit himself, could sense their presence once he focused on them and eventually found them upstairs, with the two brothers looking quite concerned over losing their sister.

''Mike, look!'' Sammy suddenly jabbed Michael's arm, pointing at the two figures approaching them. Michael was relieved to see his sister, only for a look of disbelief to appear on his expression, him and Sammy exchanging glances when they realized who was accompanying her.

''Father?!''

''Dad, what are you doing here?''

The Afton brothers was completely baffled by this sudden family reunion, with Springtrap replying, ''I could ask you two the same question.''

''I think it is more concerning that you are here,'' Michael replied in a snarky tone.

''It is, but not for the reasons you think,'' Springtrap said, beckoning the three to follow him. ''Let's go find a more secluded place to talk before people start wondering why I'm talking to no one.''

''The one advantage of being a ghost is that you can make people believe they're going crazy,'' Elizabeth said with a smirk as they followed Springtrap towards another part of the upper floor, one that had not many people. They eventually ended up at El Chip's restaurant, which didn't seem to be as much of a hot spot as the pizza place. They sat at a table that was the furthest away from any other visitors.

''How come you three are here?'' Springtrap asked. ''Going by your reaction, none of you knew that I came back.''

''It is hard to explain, but we just had this strange sensation that we should be here,'' Michael replied.

''We also saw a figure of… I think it was a bunny? But, it looked really weird, as if it couldn't take a form,'' Sammy added.

''We decided that we should follow both the sensation and the bunny, and we ended up here,'' Elizabeth added. ''Mike and Sammy then got lost.''

''You were the one who ran off!'' Sammy protested, but Elizabeth just stuck out her tongue in defiance.

''So, to recap, you came here because not only did you sense that you needed to be here, but also because you saw a weird bunny figure?'' Springtrap said, with all three nodding.

''What about you?'' Michael asked. ''Weren't you supposed to be stuck in Hell for good?''

''I was, until I realized that I have the ability to return whenever I want,'' Springtrap explained. ''As long as I am tethered to this realm, I will always come back. Unfortunately, I am not here just for a visit.''

''What did you do this time?'' Michael asked, furrowing a brow. Springtrap looked a little irked that his eldest son immediately suspected him of doing something bad, even though he knew there was a good reason for that.

''I haven't done anything… yet. The issue here was that my stay in that Hell and the torture I had undergone through has fractured my soul. That resulted in an entity separate from myself called Glitchtrap appearing. This entity now wants to continue the legacy I have abandoned,'' Springtrap explained.

''That's not good,'' Sammy said, looking troubled by the news. ''Wait, does this mean we also might've seen Glitchtrap?''

''That may be the case, but for what reason, I can't tell,'' Springtrap replied. ''Rest assured, I don't want either of you three to put yourself into danger. You know what I'm capable of, so assume that Glitchtrap is capable of the same thing, if not even worse.'' He was met by a stunned stare coming from all three of them. ''What's the matter?''

''It is still a little surprising to hear you care about us. We're not used to that,'' Michael replied, with Sammy and Elizabeth nodding in agreement.

''That's fair…'' Springtrap muttered.

''What about Sam? Does she know?'' Elizabeth asked.

''She does. In fact, she had been targeted by Glitchtrap,'' Springtrap explained.

''She must've been really happy to see you,'' Elizabeth said without a shred of irony.

''Actually, she was quite furious to see me, to the point that she refused to talk to me,'' Springtrap told her with a look of guilt.

''That's a more appropriate reaction,'' Michael said with a chuckle. ''Is she here?''

''Yes. She said she'd be at Monty's Gator Golf. She has also become an employee at the Pizzaplex,'' Springtrap added. ''She also knows everything about what's going on and she is determined to deal with Glitchtrap just as much as I am.''

''Then let's pay her a visit!'' Elizabeth exclaimed.

xXx

''Woah, nice shot, Monty,'' Sam praised the alligator as he managed to get ahead of her by two points. ''I guess I lost.''

''That's what happens when you face the golf master,'' Monty said proudly, with Sam giving him the golf club back. His expression turned to disappointment. ''What? You're already leaving ol' Monty?''

''I'm sorry, but I still have some work to do. I just needed some quiet time to calm my nerves,'' Sam replied.

''I guess the other Glamrocks take priority over me, don't they?'' Monty muttered. Sam felt bad for him.

''You really want to become a member of the Glamrock Band, don't you?'' she said.

''I do, but there's nothin' that can be done. Fazbear Entertainment only wants four band members, not five,'' Monty replied.

''Maybe they will change their mind in time,'' Sam said.

''I doubt it.'' Monty shook his head. Sam then turned her attention to the figure approaching them, with Monty taking note of her look of surprise. He followed her gaze, spotting Springtrap beckoning her to join him.

''I have to go now. See you later.'' Sam waved at him, leaving the golf course. Unlike Monty, she saw three more people standing beside Springtrap.

''Mike, Sammy, Elizabeth, what are you doing here?'' she asked, stunned to see the Afton siblings.

''It's a long story,'' Michael replied as they continued their walk. With Sam accompanying Springtrap, their conversation wouldn't draw any weird looks. ''How are you doing?''

''I'm doing better now than I did before,'' Sam replied, happy to see them.

''I guess we should've checked on you,'' Sammy said, him and his siblings feeling a little guilty that they too just abandoned her without telling her anything.

''It's fine. You guys deserved some peace after everything that happened. As for me, I suppose I can't help it but always come back to Freddy's to solve any new mysteries,'' Sam replied.

''I guess that since we're here, we can help you. It's not like we have anything better to do,'' Elizabeth said.

''Thanks.'' Sam smiled. The joy didn't last too long, because they eventually came across an employee carrying a first aid kit while running past them. ''Did something happen?''

''Only one way to find out,'' Springtrap said. The group followed the employee to the back of the building, eventually hearing a man whine and gasp and curse, with red droplets covering the ground and leading up to another employee sitting on the ground while clutching his stomach. Further away from him was a S.T.A.F.F. Bot holding a bloody knife. Sam, Springtrap, Michael, Sammy and Elizabeth hid around the corner, watching the man with the first aid kit tending to the other man's wound.

''Damn those robots! This one just snuck up on me- aghhhh!'' The man hissed in pain.

''Keep your voice down!'' the other man replied, sounding more irritated than worried. ''Fazbear Entertainment doesn't pay you to writhe on the ground.''

''That thing stabbed me!''

''Yeah, so what? You probably provoked it.''

''No, I didn't!''

''Then it's malfunctioning!''

''I don't care, I'm bleeding out there!''

''You did sign a waiver that Fazbear Entertainment isn't responsible for any work-related injuries.''

''Oh, screw you and that waiver!''

Sam and Springtrap exchanged glances, with Sam gesturing for them to leave. Once they were away from the two employees, Michael said in a rather sarcastic tone, ''I'm glad to see that Fazbear Entertainment hasn't changed their approach to how they handle their employees.''

''I'm more curious about that robot. Was it really malfunctioning or was it intentionally programmed to attack?'' Sammy said.

''I don't know, but I hope that it was just an accident, because I don't like the alternative,'' Sam said.

''I guess this means there is going to be a lot more accidents,'' Elizabeth said, glancing at her father.

''You're right. This is just the beginning,'' Springtrap said.

xXx

Vanessa took a deep breath, rubbing her eyes as she felt the fatigue. She stared at the monitor, scrolling down a set of security documents. Thanks to her… partner and his influence, she was allowed access to many things she didn't even know about, including Fazbear Entertainment's future projects. Her partner wanted her to grant him full control over all of those projects, planning on infecting them and corrupting them completely. He claimed that the entire Pizzaplex belonged solely to him and that it was his right to have control over all of the creations.

Vanessa could do nothing else but follow his orders. After all, she too belonged to him now, being nothing more but a tool in his hands. These nightmares would never stop, no matter what she did. He didn't care about her suffering, and she shouldn't care about the people she would make suffer.

Right, all she needed to do was to give into that control. Even if she talked to a therapist about what was really troubling her, it would not matter. No one would believe her.

Well, she could still talk to Luis. Sure, she was initially irritated because he would constantly question her about 'Brad', the alias that was given to her partner, but she guessed that he was a nice guy. He never told the higher ups about her strange behavior and even allowed her access to the IT department, allowing her to hack the system. He was certainly useful.

I haven't heard anything from Luis in a while.

Vanessa shook her head, her eyes narrowing. No, right now she didn't have time for any conversations with him. She had to screen through the e-mails and documents, eventually finding one about a box of costumes being shipped to the Pizzaplex. She read the list, realizing that this box contained very old animatronic costumes, some going as far as 1979.

''Why would they need animatronic costumes that are so old?'' Vanessa muttered under her breath, only to hear an eerie voice talk in her head.

''Because, they don't make these kinds of animatronic suits anymore. At least not the ones that can be worn by both animatronics and humans.''

''What?'' Vanessa groaned, her head aching as she rubbed her temple. ''Is there any value to them?''

''Indeed. I was one of their creators.''

Vanessa sighed, closing the e-mail and checking another one. It was a complaint to the upper management of Fazbear Entertainment about a staff member getting attacked by a S.T.A.F.F. Bot. Even though she held some responsibility for suggesting that the S.T.A.F.F. Bots take on more work so Fazbear Entertainment wouldn't have to pay for the employees, this didn't concern her. If the staff members couldn't deal with the robots, that wasn't her fault.

Vanessa leaned back in her swivel chair, sighing once more. There was so much work to do and the week hasn't begun yet. Not to mention, she still had to keep an eye on Samantha Blackburn, as per her partner's instructions. Although, it seemed that he was doing a good job himself. She still had no answer in regards to his obsession with her, and frankly, she doubted she ever wanted to know.

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[undomesticated-animal]

Evolution of a Rope Bunny

Tragically, and once more confirming I will never beat the bimbo allegations, I forgot to ask anyone to take pictures of this. But I had an absolutely AMAZING time and my guide through my first suspension was an absolute sweetheart and a riot, and the other rope bunnies were incredible and so friendly.

I've done rope bondage for restraints before, and I've done some [simpler] aesthetic ties and body harnesses over the years, but after yesterday I know that I'm gonna be chasing the feeling of suspension for the rest of my life. I'd be tempted to say it's the most fun I've had with my clothes on if it weren't for how often I have sex fully clothed in the backseat of my car 😅

Now that I've had some time to process it and really settle into how it felt, I figured I'd do a little journal type post about it here.

It's always obvious once it's said out loud, but the start of it is feeling safe enough to let someone literally sweep you off your feet. Where you are, who you're with, how they talk to you, how they take a no or a question, how others react to them. It all comes together into an energy that made me feel a little giddy. That bubbly feeling in your stomach when you're first vulnerable and raw in front of a new person. You want it so badly that you can taste it, and then there's that hard edge on the back end where you hope you can trust your own judgement. The right kind of person can walk alongside at your pace and arrive safely and comfortably at "ready? Great, I appreciate the trust."

I didn't go to the event planning to even ask about getting rigged up, let alone actually doing it. I just know that ever since finding out about the demo I attended I've been thinking about how much I love restraints and rope and that feeling of finally setting down the rigid and tight-laced self-control of my day job. Of actually relaxing and letting go of the day, the week, the lifetime of caring for and guiding others. Of the moment I feel responsible for nothing but myself in a moment of joy and freedom.

Suspension has always sounded like heaven if you had to crawl through hell to get to it.

Turns out sometimes it's just a walk up a gentle sloping hill with lovely people.

Wearing medical corsets has always meant I can bear a lot of weight on my waist, my ribs, my hips, my back, without much if any discomfort. And as the rope was being tied onto me, I felt the pressure spreading out across the full corset, wrapping me tighter than my gear ever could on its own. I felt that clarity in my mind, my vision, the colors were brighter and the world was louder, the way it usually only is on days I get my IV drips. Having proper oxygen levels in your brain is a helluva drug folks take for granted, and I was reveling in it. The more of myself I lost to the rope ties, the more relaxed I became. I was hanging my weight off the suspension anchor with my head dropped and the biggest fuckin smile on my face. I was able to try a full suspension, and I felt weightless. I had just enough control and movement left to spin around a bit and I was giggling like crazy the whole time. I felt so calm and soft and loose, and I think if I could live like that for the rest of my life I'd seriously consider it.

I got to hang there for a while, spinning and laughing and generally being a fun sight for the other folks at the event. By the end I was so blissed out I was having some trouble understanding people when they spoke to me, and the person who had done my rigging started checking in more pointedly 😅 I think I may have worried folks slightly, or at least amused them with how fast and hard I dropped. I certainly came down from the rig feeling wobbly and sleepy and snuggly. It was nice to get to hang out with the others at the demo after and sort of come back to myself in a shared and friendly/kind space.

I'm definitely a little in love with how it all felt. It was absolutely a "people and environment making the experience and energy in the moment" situation. I can't imagine circumstances better suited to giving someone a first try at suspension and I've just been feeling so honored to have gotten the opportunity to be a part of it.

I think I need to make sure that at some point I get to be tied and suspended under circumstances that end with me in bed with Stud or Cielo afterwards [I don't dare hope for both right now but fuck, that would ruin me in all the best ways]. I love the idea of getting dropped like that right before I get the time and space to throw myself at a lover like a bitch in heat. I can literally only imagine how free to act and react to my partner I would feel in that headspace, how my mind can't stop me from chasing what I want and need if it's leaked out my ears from hanging upside down in rigging beforehand. That feels like a moment where I wouldn't even be afraid of my feelings, where the idea of telling someone how I want to be loved feels like a natural decision to make rather than the scariest thing I could ever do.

It has been such a gift these past months to start learning what real safety and care can look like in a life where that has always been complicated. I feel like I have taken a little of so much and so many into this moment, and the joyful static of reveling in suspension was a moment of settling sands, of permanence in the new self I have been building since finally leaving behind the domestic violence that had been my constant for so long. It felt like a final step - maybe not THE final step, but somewhere in that last stretch - in my process of learning to trust others again.

Without question I want to feel that certain sense of security again, and preferrably soon and often. So I guess I'm adding "suspension anchors" to Stud's list of home improvements so I can lean into my evolving 🐇 behaviors~

[tippertot]

I just got caught up on interpolation and I have to say I seriously seriously love that fics version of Chert

If there's anything you can share about them that's not spoilers for future parts of the fic I would seriously love to read it because I'm so curious about their history (and their relationship with Gabbro and their hallucinations and everything about them)

If you don't want to share anything about them I just seriously have to say how much I appreciate the way they're written I haven't been able to stop thinking about them since I read chapter 20 and like oh my god I can't express how much I love them and idk thank you for making me cry ::)

CHERT!!!

Chert is so important to me. i remember meeting them in-game and asking all these questions like "what is a supernova? ::)" that I, an ASTRONAUT should DEFINITELY ALREADY KNOW. but i was impressed by how they answered, really simply but also not dumbing anything down or teasing you/going off on you for asking (unlike SOME npcs (Slate)). i was immediately like "wow you're nice! i like you! sorry about the trauma!"

as far as my fic goes, they've had issues with properly interpreting reality for the past several years. this more typically shows itself as paranoia, feeling like other people are against them or wish them ill or are trying to sabotage them, but when stressed can escalate to visual and auditory hallucinations. (this whole concept stems from me seeing the notes the would leave around in the game that would say like PROPERTY OF CHERT and then me overblowing that into a whole thing lol)

as it gradually got worse, a support team was formed for them, and it was eventually realized that these were symptoms of mental illness. so from there they started the process of trying different formulas of medications to deal with the symptoms. and they were at least partially successful!

Chert now has a relatively good understanding of the way their brain works and the have a good support system and coping mechanisms they can use to help when they're in a bad mental place, but this is all still pretty new for them and their mental illness isn't 100% managed yet.

while Chert can be rather private about the specific details (mainly because of their paranoia and prevent accidental interference with coping mechanisms), they don't have any problem openly discussing their mental illness on a big-picture level. there is no stigma in the community related to it, and it did not affect their ability to join OWV.

around the time Chert was in the middle of getting all this figured out, they were spending time with Tektite outside the village. Tektite (closest thing the Hearthians got to a therapist) was the one that figured out that Chert's issues might benefit from a more medically-inclined intervention and proposed the support team, which included Gneiss and Porphy.

at the same time as this, Tektite picked up on Gabbro also having some issues and started bringing them under their wing. and Chert just like pointed excitedly at Gabbro like "oh! you're mentally ill too!" and the two of them + Tektite became a little Mental Illness Club.

Gabbro was an a pretty vulnerable period in their life that involved a lot of self-doubt, so having someone like Chert around who could happily and casually chat about brains not working right was a big help for them. and Gabbro is very good at listening and not being judgmental, so as they spent more time together, Gabbro joined the short list of people that Chert trusts enough to get into the gritty details of what they're dealing with.

we will be focusing in on both Gabbro and Chert in a couple of upcoming chapters!

[goldenversekook]

OFF LIMITS

Chapter 11: “Opening Up”Pairing: Jungkook × Reader (Y/N)Genre: Emotional Depth | Vulnerability | Relationship GrowthRating: 💕 (Intimate conversations, emotional closeness, connection)

-

The rain had long stopped, leaving the world outside quieter than it had been all day. The fairy lights inside the blanket fort twinkled softly, casting a warm glow over your faces as you and Jungkook sat close, surrounded by the cocoon of blankets and cushions. You were wrapped in his arms, his presence like a steady anchor, a calming force you never wanted to let go of.

You were content, just being in this moment with him. The world outside might be chaotic, but here in this little fort, you felt safe. No distractions, no expectations—just you and him. But you could sense that there was more Jungkook wanted to say, something deeper than the surface-level jokes and playful banter you’d shared so far.

His thumb traced slow circles on your arm, and you looked up at him. His eyes were soft, distant for a moment, like he was gathering his thoughts before saying something important.

“Hey,” you murmured, your voice quiet in the cozy atmosphere. “What’s on your mind?”

He hesitated for a second, and you could see the internal battle playing out behind his eyes. You didn’t want to push him, but you also knew Jungkook well enough by now to understand when he needed to talk.

He let out a slow breath and looked down at his hands, his fingers still playing with the edges of your sweater. “I’ve just been thinking a lot lately,” he began, his voice quieter than usual. “About everything. About us.”

You tilted your head, trying to meet his gaze. “What about us?”

He chewed on his bottom lip for a moment before finally speaking, his eyes meeting yours, raw and unguarded. “I don’t know if I’ve ever really let myself believe that something like this could be real. A relationship like this. A realconnection. It’s always been easier for me to keep things light, you know? Keep people at arm’s length so I don’t get hurt.”

You watched him carefully, feeling a tightness in your chest at his vulnerability. He was sharing something with you that he hadn’t with anyone else, and you could feel the weight of it in the air between you.

“I get that,” you said softly. “It’s easy to keep things casual, to avoid getting too close to anyone. But, Jungkook… you don’t have to do that with me.”

His smile was small, a bit sad. “I know. But I guess I’ve always been scared. I’ve seen what happens when people get too close, when they let their guard down. Things get messy. People get hurt. And I don’t want to be the one who causes that.”

You reached up, cupping his face gently with your hand. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m not afraid of getting hurt. I trust you, Jungkook.”

His eyes softened, his breath hitching for a moment before he continued. “I don’t know how to do this. How to be the kind of person who lets someone in. Who lets them see the real me. It’s like I’ve built all these walls, and now I don’t know how to let them down.”

You smiled, your thumb gently brushing over his cheek. “You don’t have to have it all figured out. We can figure it out together.”

Jungkook’s eyes were glassy now, the vulnerability in them more evident than ever. He closed his eyes for a moment, like he was gathering the strength to say something he’d kept hidden for a long time.

“I’ve always been afraid of not being good enough. For anyone. Not just in relationships, but in everything. My career, my family, my friendships... I’ve always felt like I’m not enough.” His voice cracked slightly, and you could feel the heaviness in his words. “I’ve never been good enough for the people who mattered to me.”

You squeezed his hand, your heart breaking for him. “You don’t have to be perfect, Jungkook. You’re enough. Just as you are.”

He opened his eyes, looking at you with a mixture of hope and uncertainty. “Do you really think that? That I’m enough?”

“More than enough,” you whispered, leaning in to kiss him gently, your lips lingering against his. When you pulled away, you saw the weight in his eyes start to lift, just a little. “You don’t need to prove anything to me. I’m here because I want to be. Because I care about you.”

Jungkook’s shoulders relaxed, the tension slowly leaving his body. He took a deep breath, the relief palpable in the way he exhaled.

“Thank you,” he said softly, his hand brushing through your hair, his touch gentle. “I’ve never been able to say that to anyone before. That I’m not perfect. That I’ve got so many flaws. But with you… I feel like I can be me. Just me.”

You smiled at him, your heart swelling with affection. “That’s all I want, Jungkook. I just want the real you. No masks, no walls. Just you.”

He leaned his forehead against yours, his voice barely above a whisper. “I think I’m starting to believe that. That I can be real with you. That I don’t have to hide.”

You both sat there in the soft glow of the fairy lights, the world outside forgotten, lost in the quiet comfort of each other’s presence. It was in these moments—when the silence was full of meaning, when words were exchanged that felt like tiny pieces of your soul being shared—that you realized just how much you had come to mean to each other.

“I’m not saying it’s going to be easy,” Jungkook continued, his voice steady now. “But I’m willing to try. For us. I want to be the person you deserve.”

You smiled softly, your heart racing in your chest. “You already are. I’m proud of you, Jungkook. For opening up to me.”

His eyes softened, and for a moment, the playful, confident Jungkook was replaced with someone a little more vulnerable, a little more human. It was the side of him that only you had seen—the side that made your heart ache with love for him.

“You’ve always made me feel safe,” he said quietly. “Safe enough to be myself.”

You cupped his face again, gently guiding him in for another kiss. This time, it was deeper, more tender—full of all the things left unsaid, the promises you were both making to each other without needing to speak them out loud.

Later that night, as you both lay side by side in the fort, the glow of the fairy lights casting soft shadows across your faces, you knew that something had changed between you. The walls that had once separated you were no longer there. Jungkook had opened up to you, allowing himself to be vulnerable, and in return, you had given him the safety to be himself without fear.

You ran your fingers through his hair, tracing the familiar contours of his face. “You’re going to be okay, Jungkook. We’re going to be okay.”

He smiled softly, closing his eyes as he rested his head on your chest. “Yeah, I think so.”

The world outside was quiet now, the rain gone, but the feeling of peace remained. And for the first time, you felt like you were exactly where you were meant to be.

[encantresse]

♡!

Send ♡ to see what my muse thinks of yours

●●●●○ | ATTRACTION (thinks yurikins is indeed gonjous! she sees that meticulous upkeep 🤝 ) ●●●○○ | AFFECTION ●●●○○ | INTEREST ●●●●○ | LOYALTY ●●●●● | TRUST

"i feel like we're kindred spirits, yurikins and i. it's hard not to think otherwise. people like us fall through the cracks all the time. it's easy to feel like our lives don't matter... and they don't to some people. the nobility will never understand the sort of things we've gone through, and i daresay most won't even care enough to make the effort to. so it's a comfort to have a friend in yuri. i never though i'd find someone here who'd get it."

"i'd never pry, but i do hope they know i'll always be here for them if they want to talk. always having to carry things on your own is unbearable...especially the kinds of secrets i suspect we both share."

*more notes under the cut

the unsaid (but implied) things:

granted my support page is down at the moment, but there's a reason why yuri is attributed with the line, "in you, a mirror — one that shows a reflection i do not turn away from." :softsmile:

for all of dorothea's self-loathing, which is rooted in the exploitation and abuse she's experienced in life, yuri as a presence is incredibly validating to her. she's always been receptive and fond of them in their supports, but that holds especially true in toaverse. ESPECIALLY after everything they went through in happyland. will it take years for her to fully accept herself and come to terms with everything that’s happened???? yeah. but the conversation they had was a step forward in that direction :')

even though there's still so much she doesn't know outright about yuri, they have her full trust because of that "i'm just like you/you're just like me" barbie princess moment they had. the fact that yuri defended them both on east island and stepped in to take care of dorothea while she was shutting down emotionally earned them a loooooot of trust points. it was an incredibly vulnerable/triggering moment for her and honestly i think she would have broken down if yuri hadn’t been there :crylaugh: not to mention she's always seen herself in them through mannerisms/things said so this was just confirmation that yuri's the real deal in he rmind

i feel like i need to explain affection and interest here because she is evidently very fond of yuri but the points don’t fully reflect that asjhdfg. she adooooores yuri, but the 3/5 points here solely reflect the distance she feels. while she knows they've got a solid friendship going on, she does acknowledge that they could be a lot closer (and it's something she's hoping for in the future)

as for her interest, she's definitely invested in yuri on a personal level and wants to get to know them better!! however, here she's differentiating between types of interest. she’s interested in spending time with them because she enjoys their company vs. the usual interest she takes in other people which is more necessity-driven