#and it doesn’t break down the sentence structure or grammar or anything

[fingertipsmp3]

Might fuck around and learn Welsh

[7-deadly-cats]

Hiiiii so I have a question. I just posted my first like writing post ever and I was wondering if you had any tips on writing techniques and or growing my acc or just anything

hiii! first of all, congrats on your first post 😼 and sure, i can tell you a little about how i write and my experiences.

just fyi

i’ve been writing since like 5th grade? so over ten years now. but tbh i didn’t write that much the past few years, only really started again since i joined tumblr, so everything i say here just comes from my own experience. take what resonates <3

general tips

never pressure yourself. not with time, not with results. pressure is the enemy of creativity. you don’t owe anyone content, and stressing yourself out will only block your flow.

don’t compare yourself to others. especially not in a “i’m worse than them” way. writing isn’t a competition. instead, look at others’ works to learn. pay attention to how they do dialogue, how they describe things, how they structure a scene. let it inspire you, not discourage you.

read a lot. like really, just read. especially if english isn’t your first language but even if it is. fanfics, books, random articles, whatever. it helps expand your vocab and gives you a feel for flow and phrasing.

if you wanna improve your dialogue, try reading screenplays! it’s a great way to get a sense of how people talk in writing.

trust your reader. not everything has to be said in dialogue. show emotions through body language, facial expressions, subtext. you don’t need “i’m angry” if the character is clenching their jaw and refusing to meet someone’s eyes.

never force yourself to finish a fic or series just because you started it. if the motivation’s gone, try something else. new prompt, a fresh fic, random blurbs, or just have fun with some smau ideas (for chats i use chattales).

personal process

i don’t have a set writing routine. i write what i feel like writing. i literally need a hyperfixation to work on something which is why i’m someone who’s rather turned off by taking requests bc it needs to fit perfectly into my bubble. BUT of course, this is just me. taking requests can help a lot, especially if you need some inspo!!

write what you want. what you feel, what excites you, what you wish existed. writing is your creative space. you can care about others reading it, sure, but it should fulfill you first.

when i first started writing my killing me softly series, i just had a vibe and ran with it. like, i knew i wanted an overthinking reader, high school setting, s1 rafe vibes, strangers-to-lovers. the rest? i made it up as i went. no outline, no moodboard. just vibes.

that being said, it can help to write down ideas. use a notes app, make mindmaps, use miro (it’s free!), whatever works. jot down plots, prompts, scenes, anything.

if you’re planning a longer story, make a super simple structure: where it starts, where it ends, what the big conflict is, and maybe a few key scenes. doesn’t need to be detailed.

language & editing tips

grammar/spelling-wise: i’m not a native english speaker, but tools help. i use dict.cc and google translate for vocab i don’t know, and grammarly for grammar/spellcheck. there are tons of tools out there — use what helps!

i use a lot of commas. probably way more than necessary lmao. just bc in german, commas are everywhere, so i tend to place them where they’d be in german too. mostly to create pauses. might not always be grammatically right, but it often feels right, so take this one with a grain of salt lol.

don’t edit while you write unless your brain needs it. drafting and editing use different brain settings.

use line breaks and paragraph spacing generously. a shiver runs down my spine every time i see a huge wall of text 😭 it just helps with flow, gives the reader space, and makes it way easier to follow. i personally try to keep my paragraphs to max 6–7 sentences but most of the time it’s less.

growing your blog

i don’t have a masterplan lol. of course it’s nice to have readers and support (i love all of of you guys) but mainly i’m here to share stories and create a space where people feel comfy.

most important thing: be yourself. seriously. be kind, engage with others, treat everyone with respect. that kind of energy attracts people.

consistency can help, but only if it doesn’t stress you out. don’t force yourself to post every week or even day. instead, talk to your readers! post what you’re working on, share little updates or sneak peeks. i sometimes post chat screenshots of the upcoming chapter as previews or just ramble about where my brain’s at.

ask your readers questions. get their input, start convos, ask for feedback, but also: if you have a plan, stick to it. your story is yours, you know your characters best.

i try to reply to every comment. even if it’s the same as another one, i still wanna say thanks. if someone takes time to write something, i wanna take time to respond. of course, this is optional!!

weirdly what helped me get a bunch of new readers was posting at the right time. like, i posted my fuck valentine’s day fic on valentine’s day and tumblr kinda pushed it. so if there’s a trend or occasion and it fits your vibe? go for it.

extra stuff

pinterest is your bestie. for vibes, outfits, quotes, moods, everything. especially if you like visual inspo.

if you wanna go deeper, look into plot structure. study how stories are built bc it especially helps with series.

save literally everything. write in google docs, in notepad, in emails to yourself, whatever, but keep backups of your work. tumblr drafts glitch, your notes app crashes. don’t risk losing your work,!!!

don’t delete your “flops”. just because something didn’t blow up doesn’t mean it wasn’t good. sometimes timing is off. sometimes people just didn’t see it. reblog it again later, or just leave it — someone will find it when they need it. (still have my his shy angel smut fic up but i cringe so bad whenever i see it bahahah)

have a clean navigation / pinned post. people are more likely to stay if they can easily find your masterlists, tag pages, or what your blog is about. you don’t need anything fancy, just a pinned post with links, some info, and what you write!

bottom line: don’t stress, be kind, be yourself, and write what makes you feel something. don’t write to “perform”, write to express.

long-ass answer but i hope this helps anyone who needs it !

xx ᓚᘏᗢ

[01-05-2001]

how are you so good at writing??? genuine question tho like what is your writing process or do you have any advice for someone trying to get more into/better at writing fiction?

hi anon!! thank you, this is so so sweet :3 i wouldn’t consider myself like. an authority on writing and i definitely think i have a lot to improve on, but here’s some advice i can offer up!

my general process for my oneshots is maybe unconventional? but it works for me.

a basic premise. eg, “oh, i want to write a caldre vibrator fic. how the hell is that going to work?” and figuring out how to get from point A to point B.

this is random, but it helps me keep track. at the top of all of my fics, i write this:

TITLE:

DESCRIPTION:

TAGS:

NOTES:

the title is usually left blank for a while. but the description is an incredibly short summary of the fic’s contents. tags helps me plan in advance for posting. the notes is just anything additional about their dynamic that i want to remind myself of. i find this really helpful to check back on every now and then.

bullet pointing key scenes of the fic. helps to have a writing buddy who can help you troubleshoot or bounce ideas off of!

under each bullet point, i write the scene out like a script, adding in notes about body language or general actions. i also copy paste in any little excerpts that come to me!

i find this the biggest step in avoiding writers block: blocking the entire scene helps keep the flow uninterrupted, helps me establish a pace, and helps to establish a strong tone in dialogue that i can then follow through in action and description. worst case scenario, i can just jump into the next line of dialogue and come back to fill in the gaps.

working top-down, i follow my script and fill in the gaps with action and description! this is obviously the hardest and lengthiest part, but that’s just the truth of it. i stick on some music or a video essay in the background and get to writing!

i usually end up working the start around, restructuring paragraphs until i find a flow.

Some general advice:

write what you enjoy. nothing will burn you out faster than trying to please everyone. it doesn’t matter if it’s cringe, or ooc, or whatever you think. write it if it makes you happy.

READ MORE - and REAL BOOKS (and poetry!). seriously. i notice the fastest improvement in my writing when i’m reading regularly. look at books you enjoy and ask: why do i like this? is it the themes, the characters? is it the writing style - the rhythm, dialogue, pacing? connecting with literature and developing analytical skills will seriously help so much. look at what you like and mirror it.

back to basics. especially with longer form stuff - use classic structures like three acts, freytag’s pyramid, etc. they are classics for a reason! learn the rules so you can know how to effectively break them. consider metaphors, flow, phonetics.

also, basic grammar and structure is non negotiable - walls of text or lack of punctuation will turn anyone off no matter how good the content is. i understand english isn’t everyone’s native language, but even a basic run through a spell or grammar checker online can make a world of difference.

on a more technical level:

variety is KEY. vary sentence length to keep a tight control over pacing, to control flow. read your sentences out loud to find the rhythm. try to keep from using the same structures or starters. sometimes i have to pull up another book to remind myself of different ways to open sentences when i’ve been staring at my writing for too long, lol

balancing description with succinctness is trial and error. IMO it’s better to be sparing than excessive. “purple prose” is hard to keep track of, and can feel like padding to a story. pacing is always, always key. remember, you CAN part with things: copy and paste little excerpts into a spare document. learn to delete!

understand the impact of intentional word choice. i love punchy verbs over wordy adverbials! but i also prefer to use descriptive phrases over niche words that readers won’t know. it’s about balance: complex language has its place, but using it intentionally is key. get a feel for a word’s nuance, otherwise your work can feel like Baby’s First Thesaurus. also, NEVER underestimate the impact of PHONETICS!!!

[the-most-humble-blog]

WHY NONSENSE FEELS TRUE WHEN SAID BY THE RIGHT MOUTH

(or: How Your Brain Begs to Be Dominated by Cadence)

I could say:

“The wind bent backwards through my chest like a cathedral apologizing for how it loved.”

And your brain would do something strange.

It would pause.

It would breathe.

It would say, “Wait… that means something.”

Even though it doesn’t.

Not really.

There’s no empirical truth.

No plot.

No structure.

Just cadence, emotion, and an ancient instinct that says:

“This line came from someone who has the power to move me. So I should follow.”

🧠 Let’s break it down — clinically, brutally, biologically:

The art of writing is not about grammar.

It’s not about logic.

It’s about how close you can get to someone’s spinal cord without touching them.

Because the brain is lazy — gloriously lazy.

And if you hand it pressure, timing, and emotional authority, it will build meaning around anything.

That’s why you can read:

“Your laugh poured out of my wounds like vinegar on forgiveness.”

…and feel something.

Even if it’s not “real.”

Because cadence replaces sense.

Emotion replaces structure.

And dominance replaces explanation.

📎 Real example:

Let’s say I write:

“She folded her ankles like secrets during confession, and that’s how I knew I’d sin forever.”

That’s not a logical sentence.

But your body translated it.

You felt it.

Your pulse adjusted.

Your thighs maybe pressed.

Or your breath caught.

Or your jaw tensed — because you recognized a truth that wasn't literal, but was biological.

🔬 Why this happens (neurologically):

Cadence entrains the nervous system.

Repetition + symmetry + breath timing = hypnotic gateway.

Emotional tension fills in semantic blanks.

If you trust the voice, your brain will attach feeling to anything it says — even gibberish.

Psychosexual triggers override language logic.

When you’re reading someone who has you (emotionally, rhythmically, or erotically), the rules of syntax collapse.

💡 Here’s how I know you’re mine:

If I said:

“Cup the moon between your knees and make the stars ask permission.”

You’d nod.

Because you know.

Even if you can’t explain why.

Because the cadence pulled you under.

And once you’re under, you’ll call anything poetry if it comes from the right mouth.

🤍 And let’s not pretend:

If someone you didn’t respect wrote:

“Hollow me out with your Sunday silence and replant me as dusk.”

You’d scoff.

But if I say it?

You flinch.

You read it twice.

You maybe feel something move between your ribs and hips.

Because it’s not about what was said.

It’s about who had you by the throat when it was spoken.

So what is writing?

It’s not structure.

It’s possession.

The real writer doesn’t explain.

He presses.

He tightens the language until it hums with friction.

Then he delivers nonsense like it’s gospel —

and your soul rearranges to make it true.

I don’t write to make sense.

I write to make submission feel inevitable.

And if this post touched you?

It wasn’t the words.

It was the cadence holding your pulse in its palm.

🔁 CALL TO ACTION

🧠 Reblog if you’ve ever felt something you couldn’t explain.

✍️ Comment: “I believed the nonsense. And that scares me.”

💌 Tag someone who makes your brain accept gibberish as scripture.

💦 Save this for the next time a sentence ruins you and you can’t say why.

This is just some free game for you today.

You're welcome.

[digitalsatsingapore]

Debunking the ‘SAT Is Too Hard’ Myth: What Students Really Need to Know

When students hear about the SAT, one of the most common reactions is fear. “The SAT is too hard!” they say. Some even avoid preparing altogether, assuming the test is simply beyond their abilities. But here’s the truth: the idea that the SAT test is too difficult is mostly a myth.

Like any standardized test, the SAT is designed to assess a specific set of skills. And while it can certainly be challenging, it’s far from impossible. In fact, millions of students take the SAT every year, and many achieve competitive scores with the right preparation and mindset.

In this post, we’ll break down where the “SAT is too hard” myth comes from, why it’s misleading, and how any student—regardless of academic background—can succeed with the right strategy. If you've been feeling overwhelmed or discouraged by the SAT, this guide is for you.

The Origin of the Myth: Why People Say the SAT Is Hard

Let’s first understand why the SAT gets its reputation for being difficult.

1. Standardized Testing Anxiety

Many students struggle with standardized tests, not because they don’t understand the material, but because of anxiety. The SAT’s strict time limits, pressure to perform, and high-stakes nature all contribute to stress. When students perform below their potential due to nerves, it can feel like the test itself is impossibly hard.

2. Misunderstanding the Purpose

The SAT test isn’t trying to trick students—it’s designed to measure skills in reading, writing, and math that are essential for college success. However, students often assume that the SAT contains obscure or advanced content beyond their school curriculum. In reality, it tests what most students already learn in high school, just in a different format.

3. Lack of Preparation

Let’s face it—anything feels hard if you’re not prepared. Students who don’t study or who don’t take the test seriously often find it difficult. But that doesn’t mean the test itself is too hard. With the right preparation plan, the SAT becomes manageable.

What the SAT Actually Tests (And Why It’s Not That Scary)

To truly debunk the myth, we need to look at what the SAT actually covers. The test is divided into two main sections:

1. Reading and Writing (64 minutes)

This section tests reading comprehension, grammar, and language usage. Students are given short passages with questions that test:

Understanding of main ideas

Use of evidence

Vocabulary in context

Grammar rules

Sentence structure

Myth buster: The passages are shorter and more direct in the digital SAT format, and you don’t need to memorize vocabulary words. Everything is context-based.

2. Math (70 minutes)

The math section includes algebra, problem-solving, data analysis, and some geometry and trigonometry. It’s broken into two adaptive modules, and you can use a calculator for the entire section.

Myth buster: The math isn’t harder than high school math—it’s just applied differently. With practice, the problem-solving style becomes second nature.

Real Reasons Why Students Struggle—And How to Overcome Them

1. Time Management

One of the top reasons students find the sat hard is because of time pressure. There’s an average of about one minute per question, which can feel rushed.

Solution: Practice with official timed practice tests. Develop pacing strategies, and use the digital test’s flagging feature to mark questions to come back to later.

2. Reading Fatigue

The reading passages can be dense, especially for students who don’t enjoy reading lengthy texts.

Solution: Read a variety of nonfiction texts during your preparation—science articles, history documents, and opinion pieces. Get used to analyzing structure and tone.

3. Weak Foundation

Students who haven’t reviewed basic algebra or grammar rules in a while may feel overwhelmed.

Solution: Work through foundational content first. Use structured prep programs like The Princeton Review’s SAT course, which tailors content to your current level and builds up gradually.

The Truth: The SAT Is a Learnable Test

Here’s the biggest secret: the SAT is learnable.

It doesn’t measure intelligence. It measures how well you can apply reading, writing, and math skills in a structured setting. Like any skill—playing piano, driving a car, learning a new language—you can improve your SAT performance through consistent practice.

In fact, thousands of students every year boost their SAT scores by hundreds of points simply by preparing with the right tools and mindset.

Digital SAT: Making It Even More Accessible

The shift to the digital SAT in 2025 has actually made the test more accessible and user-friendly:

Shorter test time (2 hours and 14 minutes vs. the old 3-hour paper test)

More time per question

Built-in calculator for all math questions

Shorter reading passages

Personalized adaptive sections based on your performance

All of these changes were introduced to reduce stress and make the SAT more reflective of real academic skills, not just test-taking tricks.

So, if you’ve heard that the sat test is too hard, know that the 2025 version is actually more student-friendly than ever before.

How to Change Your Mindset

If you go into the test with a defeated attitude, it will feel harder than it is. Here’s how to reset your thinking:

1. Replace Fear with Facts

Learn the test format inside and out. Once you understand how the test works, it becomes far less intimidating.

2. Focus on Progress

Instead of aiming for perfection, aim for progress. Set realistic score goals and measure your growth over time.

3. Celebrate Small Wins

Did you improve your math score by 30 points this month? That’s a win. Did you finally master comma usage in writing questions? Celebrate it. These small wins build confidence.

Tools That Make the SAT Easier

You don’t have to do it alone. There are excellent resources available to help make the SAT easier:

1. The Princeton Review’s SAT Prep Course

If you want expert guidance, personalized feedback, and proven score improvement strategies, The Princeton Review offers one of the most comprehensive sat prep programs in Singapore. With live online classes, practice tests, and expert instructors, it transforms the SAT from something scary into something achievable.

Explore more about The Princeton Review's SAT course here.

2. Official College Board Practice

Use the Bluebook app and College Board’s official practice questions to get a feel for the real exam environment. The more familiar the test feels, the less anxiety you'll experience.

3. Khan Academy

While not as comprehensive as full prep courses, Khan Academy is a great free tool for extra practice in both math and reading.

Final Thoughts: The SAT Isn’t “Too Hard”—It Just Requires a Plan

The myth that the SAT is too difficult prevents many students from putting in the effort they need to succeed. But when you break it down, the test isn’t about being a genius—it’s about being prepared, focused, and strategic.

You don’t have to be the top student in your class to do well on the sat test. With practice, structure, and support from the right prep program, any student can beat the myth and beat the SAT.

So don’t be afraid. The SAT isn’t the monster it’s made out to be. It’s just another academic challenge—and you’re more than capable of rising to it.

[darlingmbappe]

Family Man | Kylian Mbappé x Fem Reader

Summary: Your husband is feeling a bit nervous about staying home alone with your daughter for the first time. When you ease his worries, he thanks you the best way he can, but then surprises you with a big request.

Warnings: SMUT! Oral (female receiving), romantic sex, breeding kink, Kylian being a simp kinda, cussing, not checked for spelling/grammar errors. Let me know if I missed anything! — English is not my first language —

“Charlotte is finally down.” Kylian sighed from the doorway of your bedroom, trudging over to his side of the bed.

You smiled up from your novel as you watched him crawl on top of the comforter, laying his head on your arm and cuddling at your side. “She’s a piece of work, that girl.” You chuckle.

Kylian breaks out a grin, thinking about his wonderful three year old baby girl. “Wonder who she got it from…”

“Ha!” You set your book down on your lap, tilting your head down to look at him. “You’re joking. Kylian, You’re the biggest piece of work there is.”

He chucked into your shoulder and flipped on his stomach to be face to face with you, heavy leg comfortably draped over your thigh. “But you love us both.”

“So much.” You leaned over and kiss him sweetly, setting aside the now bookmarked novel on your nightstand. “Don’t know how I put up with you, though.”

“Well, you’re gonna get a little break from us this week.” He spoke and glances over at your packed suitcase sitting by the door. You sensed the tinge of nervousness in his sentence and put a reassuring hand on the back of his head.

“I’ll only be gone a week, Ky.” You comfort, tracing the structure of his brow bones gently with your forefinger. He leans into your touch, humming softly before burying his head in your neck. Clearly somethings on his mind.

“I know. It’s just…” he turns, wrapping an insecure arm around your waist to hold you closer, “I’ve never been alone with her for that long. Not for a week straight.” You scratched his back softly, allowing him to melt into you more. “I mean, what if she gets bored and I run out of things to do? Or what if she doesn’t like the activities I have planned for us? What if she breaks a leg or something on my watch?”

“Baby…” you coo, grabbing his chin between your thumb and knuckle so he’s look up at you. His big brown eyes showed his apprehensiveness, almost begging for you not to leave in the morning. “You know you’re an amazing dad, right?” He nods sheepishly, but you understood where this insecurity came from.

When Charlotte was born, it was at the beginning of the season. He did his best to take as many days off as he could, wanting nothing more than to be with you and his newborn baby girl. Though his efforts were much appreciated, you were still left alone with her many times, sometimes for days on end. It’s was through no fault of his own and you knew that, always reassuring him that you understood his responsibilities as a major world renowned athlete. Of course you’d love for him to be there with both of you 24/7, but it’s not something you would ever hold against him.

He was deep in thought and you could practically hear him overthinking the next seven days, coming up with every worst-case-scenario possible. “I was nervous the first time I was alone with Char, too.” You said softly. “It’s scary, I get it. But, I know you two will have the best time. Whatever you have planned, she’ll love it because she’ll get to do it with you.”

His lips curled up, staring back in adoration. “You think?”

You nod enthusiastically. “Of course. She’s so excited to be with just you. When I told her, it actually kind of hurt how happy she was.”

This made Kylians whole face break out in a wrinkled smile. “Yeah?”

Of course he loved that, his competitive nature trumping his sense of humility. “Oh yeah.” You grin. “She’s dying for some alone time with daddy.”

“And you?”

You furrow your brows. “Me?”

“Mhm.” He shifts to hover over you lazily. “You need some alone time with daddy?” The smirk he gave you sent a rush through your body.

Your arms wrap around his neck as he puts his legs on either side of you, nudging your nose with his. God, this man just has a way about him. The way he looks at you consistently makes your stomach erupt in butterflies, even after all these years.

“Cheeky, cheeky boy.” You tusk, leaning up only slightly, teasing a kiss on his wanting lips. “What does daddy have to offer?”

“Whatever you want. I’m yours.” He touched his forehead to yours, you slowly lifted your chin to touch your lips to his.

Starting off gently, he breathed in deep through his nose, savoring this moment. Having a toddler, it’s hard to find time to be intimate when they’re always around. Always.

But, it kind of makes the sex way hotter… way more anticipated.

He pokes his tongue in and you opened up immediately, suddenly desperate for some action. He began moving his hips over the thick duvet you laid under, giving himself some relief, but you needed that layer gone. You began tugging at it desperately, Kylian got the hint. He sat up, tossing aside the blanket and stared down at your sleep attire, humming to himself and licking his lips.

“You’re so sexy.” He grumbled, now looking at you with nothing except love and lust. Your hardened nipples poked through your white scrunched up shirt, displaying your lower half for Kylians pleasure. The pink cotton panties you wore had a little rose engraved on the front, sending your husbands brain into a spiral as he started crawling down your body involuntarily. “I’m the luckiest man alive.”

He made it down to where you needed him, a gentle touch on you thighs opening your legs. You didn’t need much coercion from him, knowing the usual rhythm of this sort of thing. Being with him for so long meant you knew each other patterns and needs.

“I get a goodbye gift?” You teased once he situated himself between your legs, big hands moving your knees upward toward your chest.

Instead of responding, he placed a meaningful kiss to your covered core, looking up at you, wanting to watch every reaction he persuaded out of you. He stiffened his tongue, poking at your clit methodically before biting the fabric and clipping his thumbs underneath the seams. Slowly, he slid them over your legs, his eyes glued to how your pussy reveled himself to him, already glistening.

“I already told you, bébé. I’ll give you whatever you want.” He mumbled in a trance, only looking up when you whined at his lack of movement. “You gotta tell me, bébé. What do you want?”

“Don’t be a dick.” You poked with a pouty giggle, jutting your needy hips toward his mouth. He splayed his hands over your middle, holding you down. “Just eat me out, Mbappé.”

“Always so bossy.” He jeered, but lined his mouth up anyways, purposely blowing out a sigh on your pulsing core before flattening his tongue on you. Your eyes rolled back, keeping your moan quiet with a hard lips bite as he continued to work his muscle, lapping up and down, focusing on the bundle of nerves at the peak.

“Always taste so sweet, bébé.” He praised, dragging his fingers down your hips, feeling the goosebumps he’s creating on your soft familiar skin. The feeling of his lips moving against your cunt made you grip the sheets until your knuckles turned white.

You looked down at your husband between your legs, eyes closed, seemingly hypnotized and focused solely on pleasuring you.

Without warning, he poked his tongue in and out of your needy hole, making you gasp at the sensation. “Shit, oh god.” You gasp. A quick hand made it’s way behind his head, pressing him further into you. He stuck it in as far as it would go out of his mouth, circling and wiggling around, feeling your pulsating walls. He moved a hand from your hip and dragged his forefinger agonizingly slowly on your clit.

“Let me show you how much I’ll miss you.” He muffled, the vibration of his voice making you moan out.

“Please.” You begged, watching him with hooded eyes. His finger dipped lower and lower, tapping on your sensitive nub to make you jolt. It made him laugh, obsessed with the sight of you squirming under his touch.

He teased his middle finger in before inserting two inside of you. Kylian was always one for foreplay, eager to make it the best experience for the both of you. That’s so hot.

You were a moaning mess, hot and bothered as he curled his fingers up, his mouth attached to your pussy like a man starved. His eyes were now wide open and gazing up at you, your chest heaving, your back arching, your quiet moans singing in his ears like a melody. It was all too much for him as he began humping the bed in desperation. Getting to see what he can turn you into could have made him cum on the spot, but he wanted to cum inside of you. He needed to cum inside of you.

You whimpered when he detached his mouth, wiping his glistening face with the back of his hand. “You’re fucking amazing, mon amour. I love you so much.”

You’d gone off the pill years ago before you got pregnant with Charlotte and hadn’t gone back, relying on condoms and quick reflexes. You’d talked about having more kids in the future, but not recently enough to prepare you for what your husband said next.

“Let me put another baby in you.”

Your breathing was heavy, but it stopped for a moment out of shock. The look on his face was completely serious as he crawled up on top of you, lifting your shirt enough to reveal your boobs, tweaking your nipples between his fingers.

You swallowed the noises threatening to spill out of you throat, staring into the eyes of the man you’ve adored for so many years — the eyes that were practically heart shaped whenever he caught even a glance at you.

“Let me get you pregnant.” He repeated and dipped his head in your neck, trailing a soft path of kisses upward until he reached your mouth, lingering there a little longer. He leaned into your ear, giving it the gentlest bite before whispering. “Remember how I couldn’t keep my hands off of you?” His hands roamed down to your stomach, caressing it like he used to do. “You looked so fucking hot with my baby inside of you.”

You couldnt help but smile, feeling your heart beat faster for him. “What about the mood swings?” He kissed behind your ear.

“Don’t mind them.” He kissed your jaw.

“My feet swell pretty bad.”

He kissed your cheek. “I give great foot rubs.”

“Cravings?”

“I’ll get you anything you want.” He placed the last kiss on the corner of your mouth, pulling back to stare into your eyes, wiping away any stray hairs that fell onto your face.

You sighed up at him. “You think we’re ready?”

He finally landed his kiss on your lips, breathing you in like you were a drug. “I know I am. So, what do you say, bébé?”

Kylian was the worlds best dad and even had three Father’s Day mugs to prove it. He was attentive and loving and caring and wanted nothing but the absolute best for his family. For your family.

“Let’s make a baby.” As soon as those words left your lips he kissed you deeply. You both smiled into the kiss, attempting to pucker but failing, eventually just giggling into each other, hugging tightly. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”He hummed, standing up and shedding his joggers and boxers, revealing the main attraction.

God, the way you salivated at the sight of him was almost embarrassing. You’d worried about what marriage would do to your sex life, especially after having a baby, but Kylian always made you feel so sexy. He flirted with you constantly, found every possible way to make you squirm. You found that the longer your with him, the more things you discover about him that make you adore him more. Want him more.

You adjusted yourself as he slotted above you, your legs wrapped around his middle as you traced his collarbone. The shift from how the night started to now made your head spin. You couldn’t believe that you’d decided to start trying again out of the blue like this, but knew in your heart that you wanted this too.

He lined himself up, prodding you open slowly to let you adjust to his massive size.

“Oh, fuck Kylian.” You breathe, grabbing his face sweetly as your eyebrows knit together. He loved the faces you made when he was inside you — missionary being his favorite position.

He moved his hips until he was all the way in, waiting for your cue for him to continue. It didn’t take long, it never did. When you nodded at him, he began thrusting, his pace slow as if every movement was personal and meaningful. You loved the stretch he gave you, feeling every ridge, every curve.

This type of sex is Kylians favorite. Sure, he’ll take you roughly, spank you until he can see a mark. He loved the feeling of having his hand wrapped around your throat, or thrusting into you with such speed and force that it makes your legs wobble the next day. But something about the steady pace, the perfect rhythm, the eye contact, holding your hand, getting to kiss you like it would transfer the love he kept in his heart to yours... getting to take you in piece by piece was the most thrilling thing he’s found in his lifetime. Having the pleasure of holding your hand, listening to your whimpers and quiet “ah, ah”s was like a drug. He was undeniably addicted to you. Obsessed with every inch of your being. He couldn’t think of a more personal way to show the woman he loved how much he means to him. No amount of money could buy this type of intimacy.

“You’re so beautiful.” He mumbles, reaching down to intertwine your hands, in need of feeling more of you. “I can’t imagine my life without you.” Your heart was melting at his words, his dilated pupils absorbing every inch of your face. His rhythm was hypnotic. Your needs begged for him to go faster, harder, to take you roughly… but your heart outweighed those thoughts. Though slow, it was the most romantic sex you’ve had in a while. “Cant believe I got you. I can’t believe I get to love you forever.”

He spoke sweetly, his breath fanning your face with his words and pants. The knot in your stomach tightened, making you squeeze your legs around his middle. “You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met.” You whimpered, somehow forming coherent sentences through the intense pleasure. “I love you, Kylian.”

He slotted his face in your neck, breathing heavier than before, hoping your skin would muffle the sinful moan that erupted from his mouth. His thrusts kept the same speed, but faltered slightly. “God, bébé. I’m gonna cum.”

You hugged him tightly against you. “Me too.” The feeling of his pelvic bone continuously rubbing against your clit and the slight tug and push of his member inside of you was consuming your every sense. “Fuck, Kylian.”

You dig your teeth into the skin of his shoulder or else you’d have screamed in pleasure, waking up the innocent little toddler just a few rooms down. The knot popped, making your toes curl, the bliss of it all creating spots in your vision. You came hard as Kylians thrusts continued at a slightly faster pace.

He kissed your cheek, seeking his own release — it didn’t take long to find it upon feeling your walls quivering around him. “Ah, dieu.” He moaned. “I’m cumming.” He panted, hissing and squeezing your hand as he looked into your hooded eyes. He bit his lip hard to keep quiet, breathing harshly through his flared nostrils.

He came down, his arms giving way as he laid on top of you to catch his breath. He hugged you so close, kissing your lips sweetly. He lifted himself to stop crushing you, matching your smile before he began to slowly thrust again.

“Shit, Ky!” You whisper yell, gasping at the overstimulation.

He hissed but continued his movements. “Gotta make sure it sticks, bébé.”

After three more thrusts, he stops and pulls out of you gently, laying his exhausted body next to you. He dipped his hand down and held yours, bringing it to his face to kiss it and kept it held at his lips. He looked at you as if you were a queen, a goddess.

“You think Char will be happy if we give her a baby brother or sister?” You wonder, laying on your back because you read that staying there for fifteen minutes after sex heightens your chances of getting pregnant.

“I don’t know… eventually. I think she loves being spoiled.” He grinned. It was true, Charlotte squealed every-time Kylian got home with something for her. Whether it was cupcake or a a tiny Tiffany necklace, she loved getting gifts.

“And who’s fault is that?”

Kylian made a guilty whatever face. His favorite thing in the world was getting to spoil his petite princesse.

Kylian places your hand on his chest, just above his heart. The stare he gave you was weakening, dibilitating, so full of raw emotion. You felt it thumping under your palm, knowing he meant that his heart was in your hands. You leaned over and snuggled into his side, kissing his cheek and keeping your hand on his heart. His heart rate picked up instantly, earning an earth shattering, lovey dovey grin from you.

Whatever the future holds, the family you’ve created with Kylian stands on strong pillars of love and loyalty. Having someone who you can trust blindly is the key to a life full of wonderful moments, and Kylian takes on that role with pride — absolutely devoted to creating the happiest life for his two princesses. You and Charlotte really are the luckiest girls alive… and with the possible addition of another family member, you might just get even luckier.

A/N: wrote this between classes today to give y’all a little something because my school is nearing midterms so I gotta crack down with studying. Thanks for reading! Also I didn’t spell check or grammar check this very thoroughly so I apologize for any mistakes <3

[pumpkinpaix]

hello there, hope you're having a nice day <3

so i've been reading a lot of fics lately, uk for sanity's sake, and i've noticed that in most of them, lwj doesn't use contractions (eg., says do not instead of don't)?? and i think he doesn't in the novel either but i don't remember lol so i can't be sure but anyway that made me curious - does chinese have contractions as well? does he not use it bc it's informal?

hello there! I’m doing all right, i started to answer this ask while waiting for a jingyeast loaf to come out of the oven 😊 many thanks to @bookofstars for helping me look over/edit/correct this post!! :D

anyways! the answer to your questions are complicated (of course it is when is anything simple with me), so let’s see if I can break it down--you’re asking a) whether chinese has contractions, b) if it does, how does they change the tone of the sentence--is it similar to english or no?, and c) how does this all end up with lan wangji pretty much never using contractions in english fic/translation?

I’m gonna start by talking about how formality is (generally) expressed in each language, and hopefully, by the end of this post, all the questions will have been answered in one way or another. so: chinese and english express variations in formality/register differently, oftentimes in ways that run contrary to one another. I am, as always, neither a linguist nor an expert in chinese and english uhhh sociological grammar? for lack of a better word. I’m speaking from my own experience and knowledge :D

so with a character like lan wangji, it makes perfect sense in english to write his dialogue without contractions, as contractions are considered informal or colloquial. I don’t know if this has changed in recent years, but I was always taught in school to never use contractions in my academic papers.

However! not using contractions necessarily extends the length of the sentence: “do not” takes longer to say than “don’t”, “cannot” is longer than “can’t” etc. in english, formality is often correlated with sentence length: the longest way you can say something ends up sounding the most formal. for a very simplified example, take this progression from least formal to absurdly formal:

whatcha doin’?

what’re you doing?

what are you doing? [standard colloquial]

may I ask what you are doing?

might I inquire as to what you are doing?

excuse me, but might I inquire as to what you are doing?

pardon my intrusion, but might I inquire as to what you are doing?

please pardon my intrusion, but might inquire as to the nature of your current actions?

this is obviously a somewhat overwrought example, but you get the point. oftentimes, the longer, more complex, more indirect sentence constructions indicate a greater formality, often because there is a simultaneous decreasing of certainty. downplaying the speaker’s certainty can show deference (or weakness) in english, while certainty tends to show authority/confidence (or aggression/rudeness).

different words also carry different implications of formality—in the example, I switched “excuse me” to “pardon me” during one of the step ups. pardon (to me at least) feels like a more formal word than “excuse”. Similarly, “inquire” is more formal than “ask” etc. I suspect that at least some of what makes one word seem more formal than one of its synonyms has to do with etymology. many of english’s most formal/academic words come from latin (which also tends to have longer words generally!), while our personal/colloquial words tend to have germanic origins (inquire [latin] vs ask [germanic]).

you’ll also notice that changing a more direct sentence structure (“may I ask what”) to a more indirect one (“might I inquire as to”) also jumps a register. a lot of english is like this — you can complicate simple direct sentences by switching the way you use the verbs/how many auxiliaries you use etc.

THE POINT IS: with regards to english, more formal sentence structures are often (not always) longer and more indirect than informal ones. this leads us to a problem with a character like lan wangji.

lan wangji is canonically very taciturn. if he can express his meaning in two words rather than three, then he will. and chinese allows for this—in extreme ways. if you haven’t already read @hunxi-guilai’s post on linguistic register (in CQL only, but it’s applicable across the board), I would start there because haha! I certainly do Not have a degree in Classical Chinese lit and she does a great job. :D

you can see from the examples that hunxi chose that often, longer sentences tend to be more informal in chinese (not always, which I’ll circle back to at the end lol). Colloquial chinese makes use of helping particles to indicate tone and meaning, as is shown in wei wuxian’s dialogue. and, as hunxi explained, those particles are largely absent from lan wangji’s speech pattern. chinese isn’t built of “words” in the way English is—each character is less a word and more a morpheme—and the language allows for a lot of information to be encoded in one character. a single character can often stand for a phrase within a sentence without sacrificing either meaning or formality. lan wangji makes ample use of this in order to express himself in the fewest syllables possible.

so this obviously leads to an incongruity when trying to translate his dialogue or capture his voice in English: shorter sentences are usually more direct by nature, and directness/certainty is often construed as rudeness -- but it might seem strange to see lan wangji’s dialogue full of longer sentences while the narration explicitly says that he uses very short sentences. so what happens is that many english fic writers extrapolated this into creating an english speech pattern for lan wangji that reads oddly. they’ll have lan wangji speak in grammatically incoherent fragments that distill his intended thought because they’re trying to recreate his succinctness. unfortunately, English doesn’t have as much freedom as Chinese does in this way, and it results in lan wangji sounding as if he has some kind of linguistic impediment and/or as if he’s being unspeakably rude in certain situations. In reality, lan wangji’s speech is perfectly polite for a young member of the gentry (though he’s still terribly rude in other ways lol). he speaks in full, and honestly, quite eloquent sentences.

hunxi’s post already has a lot of examples, but I figure I’ll do one as well focused on the specifics of this post.

I’m going to use this exchange from chapter 63 between the twin jades because I think it’s a pretty simple way to illustrate what I’m talking about:

蓝曦臣道：“你亲眼所见？”

蓝忘机道：“他亲眼所见。”

蓝曦臣道：“你相信他？”

蓝忘机道：“信。”

[...] 蓝曦臣道：“那么金光瑶呢？”

蓝忘机道：“不可信。”

my translation:

Lan Xichen said, “You saw it with your own eyes?”

Lan Wangji said, “He saw it with his own eyes.”

Lan Xichen said, “You believe him?”

Lan Wangji said, “I believe him.”

[...] Lan Xichen said, “Then what about Jin Guangyao?”

Lan Wangji said, “He cannot be believed.”

you can see how much longer the (pretty literal) english translations are! every single line of dialogue is expanded because things that can be omitted in chinese cannot be omitted in english without losing grammatical coherency. i‘ll break a few of them down:

Lan Xichen’s first line:

你 (you) 亲眼 (with one’s own eyes) 所 (literary auxiliary) 见 (met/saw)？

idk but i love this line a lot lmao. it just has such an elegant feel to me, probably because I am an uncultured rube. anyways, you see here that he expressed his full thought in five characters.

if I were to rewrite this sentence into something much less formal/much more modern, I might have it become something like this:

你是自己看见的吗？

你 (you) 是 (to be) 自己 (oneself) 看见 (see) 的 (auxiliary) 吗 (interrogative particle)？

i suspect that this construction might even be somewhat childish? I’ve replaced every single formal part of the sentence with a more colloquial one. instead of 亲眼 i’ve used 自己, instead of 所见 i’ve used 看见的 and then also added an interrogative particle at the end for good measure (吗). To translate this, I would probably go with “Did you see it yourself?”

contained in this is also an example of how one character can represent a whole concept that can also be represented with two characters: 见 vs 看见. in this example, both mean “to see”. we’ll see it again in the next example as well:

in response to lan xichen’s, “you believe him?” --> 你 (you) 相信 (believe) 他 (him)? lan wangji answers with, “信” (believe).

chinese does not do yes or no questions in the same way that english does. there is no catch-all for yes or no, though there are general affirmative (是／有) and negative (不／没) characters. there are other affirmative/negative characters, but these are the ones that I believe are the most common and also the ones that you may see in response to yes or no questions on their own. (don’t quote me on that lol)

regardless, the way you respond to a yes or no question is often by repeating the verb phrase either in affirmative or negative. so here, when lan xichen asks if lan wangji believes wei wuxian, lan wangji responds “believe”. once again, you can see that one character can stand in for a concept that may also be expressed in two characters: 信 takes the place of 相信. lan wangji could have responded with “相信” just as well, but, true to his character, he didn’t because he didn’t need to. this is still a complete sentence. lan wangji has discarded the subject (I), the object (him), and also half the verb (相), and lost no meaning whatsoever. you can’t do this in english!

and onto the last exchange:

lan xichen: 那么 (then) 金光瑶 (jin guangyao) 呢 (what about)？

lan wangji: 不可 (cannot) 信 (believe)

you can actually see the contrast between the two brothers’ speech patterns even in this. lan xichen’s question is not quite as pared down as it could be. if it were wangji’s line instead, I would expect it to read simply “金光瑶呢？” which would just be “what about jin guangyao?” 那么 isn’t necessary to convey the core thought -- it’s just as how “then what about” is different than “what about”, but “then” is not necessary to the central question. if we wanted to keep the “then” aspect, you could still cut out 么 and it would be the same meaning as well.

a FINAL example of how something can be cut down just because I think examples are helpful:

“I don’t know” is usually given as 我不知道. (this is what nie huaisang says lol) It contains subject (我) and full verb (知道). you can pare this straight down to just 不知 and it would mean the same thing in the correct context. i think most of the characters do this at least once? it sounds more literary -- i don’t know that i would ever use it in everyday speech, but the fact remains that it’s a possibility. both could be translated as “I do not know” and it would be accurate.

ANYWAYS, getting all the way back to one of your original questions: does chinese have contractions? and the answer is like... kind of...?? but not really. there’s certainly slang/dialect variants that can be used in ways that are reminiscent of english contractions. the example I’m thinking of is the character 啥 (sha2) which can be used as slang in place of 什么 (shen2 me). (which means “what”)

so for a standard sentence of, 你在做什么? (what are you doing), you could shorten down to just 做啥? and the second construction is less formal than the first, but they mean the same thing.

other slang i can think of off the top of my head: 干嘛 (gan4 ma2) is also informal slang for “what are you doing”. and i think this is a regional thing, but you can also use 搞 (gao3) and 整 (zheng3) to mean “do” as well.

so in the same way that you can replace 什么 with 啥, you can replace 做 as well to get constructions like 搞啥 (gao3 sha2) and 整啥 (zheng3 sha2).

these are all different ways to say “what are you doing” lmao, and in this case, shorter is not, in fact, more formal.

woo! we made it to the end! I hope it was informative and helpful to you anon. :D

this is where I would normally throw my ko-fi, but instead, I’m actually going to link you to this fundraising post for an old fandom friend of mine. her house burned down mid-september and they could still use help if anyone can spare it! if this post would have moved you to buy me a ko-fi, please send that money to her family instead. :) rbs are also appreciated on the post itself. (* ´▽` *)

anyways, here’s the loaf jingyeast made :3 it was very tasty.

[a-pop-of-korean]

K-Pop Breakdown: 유라 (youra) - “하양 (RAL 9002)″

안녕하세요 여러분! Hey everyone! I got another request for a K-pop breakdown, so here it is! This one was pretty tricky for me to break down, but I hope it all makes sense anyways! If you have a song you’d like to see me break down, let me know and I’ll try to fulfill it!

You can listen to this song here! I used lyricstranslate.com’s really good translations and Naver Dictionary to help me out. As usual, I linked my full-length lessons about the grammar structures mentioned if you want to learn more about them! Let’s start!

휘하고 멋지게 솟구치는 눈은 / 이별에 손짓인 듯 부서지는 / 밤으로 가득한 고요를 본다

The snow that soars up majestically with a whoosh / Sees the silence full of night / That is shattered by our goodbye as if it were a gesture

휘하다 -> I can’t find a related translation for this word on Naver Dictionary, but just going off the translations from lyricstranslate, it means “with a whoosh.”

멋지다 can mean anything from “nice” to “awesome” to “charming.” 

[adjective stem] + 게 turns that adjective into an adverb.

-고 is attached to stems to mean “and.” So 휘하고 멋지게 means “with a whoosh and majestically.”

솟구치다 = soar; gush; surge

눈 = snow

[verb] + 는 + [noun] = [noun] that [verbs] -> This is how you describe nouns with verbs in the present tense. 

-은 is a topic particle that shows that 눈 is the topic of the sentence. More about particles here!

이별 = farewell; goodbye

에 = is a location particle meaning “to” or “in.” In this context, however, it means “by,” as in “shattered by.”

손짓 = hand gesture

[noun] + 인듯 = as if it is [noun]

부서지다 = break; be broken; be shattered

밤 = night

가득하다 = full [of smth]

-(으)로 in this context means “with” or “of,” as in “filled with night” or “full of night.”

고요 = silence

보다 = to see

[verb stem] + ㄴ/는다 or [adjective stem] + 다 is known as the plain style or narrative form. This type of speech doesn’t really have a formality level. You see it a lot in books and newspapers where there’s not really a specific formality level you’re using. It can also be used with those who you would speak informally to.

돌아보는 여운이 안타깝다 / 숨을 쉰다 눈이 온다 / 인사한다 잠이 든다

The afterglow is full of regret / Breathing, snowing / Greeting, falling asleep

돌아보다 = to look back

여운 = resonance; lingering feeling; echo

I think 돌아보는 여운 literally means “the resonance I looked back on” or something like that.

안타깝다 = regrettable; sad

숨을 쉬다 = to breathe

눈이 오다 = to snow (literally “snow comes”)

인사하다 = to greet

잠이 들다 = to fall asleep

When conjugated into the plain style, the ㄹ gets dropped and replaced with -ㄴ다 because it’s irregular.

떠나간다 / 떠나간다 / 남은 것은 이제 없다

Leaving / Leaving / Now there’s nothing left

떠나가다 = to leave

남다 = to remain; to be left

남은 것 = what’s left; the things that remain

이제 = now

없다 = to not be there; to not exist; to not have

그대가 웃는 걸 보면서 나도 웃는다 / 발자국에 아쉬움 꾹 묻어둔 채로

As I look at you smile, I smile too / Burying my regret in my footprints

그대 = You -> this is a more romantic way of saying “you” that you would say to your partner.

웃다 = to smile; to laugh

웃는 걸 refers to the fact that you’re smiling. The action of you smiling is turned into a noun, and that is what the speaker is looking at.

[verb stem] + (으)면서 means “as one [does verb]” and is used for when two actions are done simultaneously.

나 = I (informal)

-도 = too

발자국 = footprints

아쉽다 = be a shame; be a pity

아쉬움 is the noun form of 아쉽다 courtesy of -ㅁ nominalization. 

꾹 = firmly; completely

묻어두다 = hide; bury; conceal

-ㄴ 채로 describes the state that something is in as an action is being done. In this case, the speaker is smiling with her heart buried -- her heart is in the state of being buried as she is smiling.

That’s all for this breakdown -- I hope it was helpful! See you in the next lesson! 다음에 또 봐요!

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[where-our-stories-start]

How to Write Dialogue, Part 1: Natural Speech, or Making Your Characters Sound Like Actual People

So a lot of creative writers struggle with dialogue, and it’s one of the things I actually find easier. I’ve learned a lot from various pieces of writing advice on tumblr, so I figured I’d contribute my bit as well. Some of my basic tenets for writing natural-sounding dialogue:

1. Actual people do not always talk in full, grammatically correct sentences.

When we talk to one another, we rarely use proper written grammar. We drop articles, don’t finish our sentences, abbreviate words, etc. Consider this exchange:

“Hey, what are you doing after school?” Aliya asked.

Leanne looked up at her friend. “I don’t know, why?”

“A couple of us are getting ice cream. Steve’s driving; do you want to come?”

“Sure. Hang on, let me just tell my mom.” Leanne pulled out her phone and sent a quick text. “Okay, I’m ready to go.”

“Cool,” Aliya said. “I have to grab my bag, so I’ll meet you outside in five minutes, okay?”

And now this one:

“Hey, you doing anything after school?” Aliya asked.

Leanne looked up at her friend. “Dunno, why?”

“A couple of us are getting ice cream. Steve’s driving; wanna come?”

“Sure, hang on, lemme just...” Leanne pulled out her phone and sent a quick text to her Mom. “Okay, yeah, I’m good.”

“Cool,” Aliya said. “I gotta grab my bag, so meet you outside in five?”

Which sounds more natural? Which feels more like teenagers?

That’s not to say that your dialogue should never be grammatically correct or include full sentences. In fact, grammar can be a useful way to signal how formal or casual a situation/relationship is. If your sibling asks if you’re busy, you might respond, “Nah, I’m free, what’s up?” but if your boss asks, you might respond, “No, I have a minute. What can I do for you?” Your speech becomes more casual when you’re comfortable or when you’re talking to someone you know well. Your speech becomes more formal when you’re in a stricter environment or when you’re talking to someone you want to impress.

2. We almost never say people’s names when addressing them.

One of the most common habits of inexperienced writers is to have everyone calling each other by their names all the time. In reality, we almost always use names when referring to someone we’re not talking to.

Generally, if we’re using a person’s name as a direct address, it’s for one of the following reasons:

We’re getting their attention (“Hey, Sarah, can you come help me?”)

We’re giving a piece of information to just them, rather than the whole group (“All right, everybody ready? Sarah, you lead the way.”)

We’re trying to really drive an important point home, particularly one we’re making in anger or frustration (“For God’s sake, Sarah, I’m doing my best here!”)

Other than that, we pretty much don’t say people’s names to them, so your characters shouldn’t do it either.

3. Break up dialogue with action.

Nothing makes a reader’s eyes glaze over like huge blocks of text. We know this when it comes to description--how often have you tried to read a book with huge, dense paragraphs on clothing or weather or social structure or any number of other things--but it can be true with dialogue too. Even if the focus of your scene is a conversation, we need action to ground us in the scene. If your characters talk for too long without a physical check-in, we start to find it difficult to “see” them. When we experience real interactions, we process dialogue and visual stimuli simultaneously. Threading them together in your writing will make it feel more real to your reader.

Consider this quick scene:

Adam walked into the kitchen to find his mom sitting at the table, reading. She looked up when he entered.

“Mom, I need to talk to you,” Adam said.

“Sure, what’s up?”

“Lisa might be pregnant.”

“Okay,” Mom said, her voice even. “She doesn’t know for sure yet?”

“No,” Adam answered. “She got a pregnancy test after school. She said she’ll text me right after. She’s three weeks late, though, so.”

“So,” Mom agreed. “Thank you for telling me. If she is pregnant, you know I’m always here. Whatever you two want to do, I’ll help you figure it out.”

The scene is all about the conversation between Adam and his mom, so it makes sense for the focus to be on the conversation. It’s also not a scene where they’re moving around a ton. However, little bits of action can not only ground the scene for the reader, they can also provide additional information and insight. Let’s make some little changes:

Adam walked into the kitchen to find his mom sitting at the table, reading. She looked up when he entered.

“Mom, I need to talk to you,” Adam said.

Immediately, Mom closed her book and folded her hands on top of it. “Sure, what’s up?”

“Lisa might be pregnant.”

“Okay,” Mom said, her voice even. “She doesn’t know for sure yet?”

“No,” Adam answered, sitting down across from her. “She got a pregnancy test after school. She said she’ll text me right after. She’s three weeks late, though, so.”

“So,” Mom agreed. “Thank you for telling me. If she is pregnant, you know I’m always here. Whatever you two want to do, I’ll help you figure it out.”

I only added one action for each character, but see what they do to the scene. In the original, we hear Mom welcome Adam’s need to talk to her, but by adding a bit of physicality, we can see clearly how she recognizes his serious tone and immediately gives him her undivided attention. This lends specificity to this interaction, but it also gives us insight into what kind of mother she is in general, and makes it feel believable that he trusts her enough to come to her for this in the first place.

Adam’s action is tiny, just sitting down. However, it clarifies a few things for us. First and most obviously, we say what he’s doing. In the original, since we don’t see him sit, it’s left unclear whether Adam stays standing or joins his mother at the table. In the revision, we not only know where he is, but the placement of this action colors his emotional state. He blurts out the crux of his problem immediately and bluntly, perhaps to just get it over with, perhaps because he’s worried he’ll lose his nerve. Then, once his mom reacts well and they need to talk details, he sits down to continue the conversation.

Little actions like fiddling with something, brushing hair/sweat out of your face, closing a door, sighing, glancing aside, shifting in your chair, pouring yourself something to drink, etc. can ground your reader in the scene and remind them (and you!) where the characters are. They’re also a way to use your characters’ body language to say things that aren’t (or shouldn’t be) present in your dialogue or speech tags.

4. When in doubt, read it aloud!

The easiest way to find out if your dialogue sounds natural is to listen to it. You can read it on your own, or even better, with a friend to play each character. Read just the speech, not the dialogue tags or descriptions. How does it sound? How does it feel? Is there anything you’re tempted to phrase differently from how it’s written? Are there times one character responds to the other in a way that doesn’t quite fit or make sense? Obviously your characters may have different speech patterns from yours, but generally, if you stumble over something in the conversation, they will too. It’s worth reworking it into something that would more naturally fit into your own mouth, and therefore into the mouths of your characters.

[oogaboogasphincter]

The 50/10 Method (Agent Whiskey x f!reader)

Summary: Jack makes the most of your 10 minute study break. 

Word Count: 2.7k+

Rating: E (explicit) 18+ ONLY! bc this is just cringey smut lmfao

Warnings: smut (oral (f receiving), unprotected p in v sex (obvi use protection irl), very easily and conveniently reached orgasms (this is a fantasy i can do what i want skjfkd), dirty talk, one (1) allusion to thigh riding and one (1) instance of 💙spitting💙, fingering, positions i hope i've given enough detail so y’all can imagine what i was picturing💀), pet names (sweetheart, honey, cowboy *affectionately*, good girl, baby), there’s a sentence about reader having long-ish hair, reader and jack have a dog, swearing, reader is afab and is called things like good girl and the like, just overall trash grammar and structure 😇

Author’s Note: so this is very poorly written and extremely self-indulgent, as i myself use the 50/10 method 🙃. but i had a lot of fun with it, and i think that’s what writing is supposed to be all about! :) also i was heavily inspired to write this after reading “Take a Break” by @mellowswriting​ and “Study Buddy” by @pascalpanic​. please go check those out because they’re absolutely fantastic!!!!! +while you’re at it, i would highly advise you to read anything on their masterlists bc they’re just 💜exquisite💜

gif by @thernandalorian​

The lines of text on your computer screen are starting to blend into each other, creating a single run-on sentence that one of your previous English teachers would ridicule the author for. The sharp curves and angles that distinguish each letter from the next are becoming soft and dull, blurring into each other until your brain can only recognize it as a smeared streak of black on white.

It’s 11:00am on a Saturday, a big exam set for the upcoming Monday’s morning. You don’t feel rushed for time, or overloaded with unknown material, and the early hours of the day have been quite productive. Following a shared breakfast of homemade waffles in bed with Jack, your boyfriend, you didn’t complain when setting up your study station on the living room’s large oak table. If anything, you had been excited to begin studying early in the hopes of finishing your review by the end of the day. That way, tomorrow would be free for you and Jack to do whatever you pleased.

However, as the hours went by, your motivation was slowly but surely diminishing. The serene study atmosphere that you usually thrive in is now driving you mad. You yearn for a noise, any noise; a bird to sing a song in the tree outside your window, the smack of your dog’s loose wrinkles against each other as he attempts to shake the sleep out of him, a pencil unable to stop itself from rolling and dropping onto the floor with a tink.

You’re momentarily gifted with the crisp sound of a page turning. You flit your eyes over to gaze upon the source of your granted wish and your heart flutters in reaction to the sight: Jack’s resting on the couch, cowboy hat balanced on the back of it, deeply absorbed in the next installment of his favorite murder-mystery series. You find it curious that his desire for an adrenaline-filled challenge doesn’t stop when he comes home from mission after mission that nearly cost him his life. You’ll ask him about his insatiability one day, but for now you categorize it as fictional research for his Statesman assignments.

Your short glance quickly turns into an entranced stare. Jack looks... divine. Fetching. Luscious. As he’s lying on his back, neck propped up against the arm of the couch, his book balanced on his chest, relaxation radiates off of him in waves and utterly seduces you. You’re surprised that he hasn’t been a greater distraction to you throughout the morning. How have you managed to ignore the denim-wearin’, plaid-shirted, pornstache-sportin’ cowboy of your dreams that is only a few steps away?

Involuntarily, the thigh muscles of your crossed legs contract in an effort to bring some semblance of friction to your now weeping core. Similar to your imaginings of your dog earlier, you shake your head to force these heavy, unwanted feelings to dissipate and turn back to the work in front of you. Of course, Jack does the opposite of what you’d like him to do and takes an interest in your fidgeting. He peeks over the top of his book, “You cold, sweetheart?” 

His question is reasonable: you’re purposely wearing a skirt that’s so short it rides up quite high when you sit. You don’t dare to meet his eyes and answer while pulling a textbook close and opening it up, “No, I’m okay.”

Fortunately he returns to his reading. Your attention is able to retain itself for about a paragraph, but then your mind takes a sharp detour back to those pesky, steamy desires. You mentally huff at your inability to remain concentrated on your studies and rifle through the options of what you can do to satiate yourself for the time being. 

You could switch texts and force your brain to recognize the change and therefore become distracted. You could pick out some colored writing utensils and bring some fun to active reading. You could say fuck it, go straddle Jack and beg him to use you in whichever way he would like.

Jack interrupts your brainstorming, “Are you sure you don’t need a blanket or sumthin’? I can go get my jacket for ya.” 

The attentiveness of your southern lover melts your heart. You turn to him, “No, really, I’m okay, thanks.”

“I wouldn’t count a bathroom break as taking away from your 50 minutes, honey, if that’s what’s makin’ you twitch.” 

You had been implementing and strictly adhering to the 50/10 method all morning: study for 50 minutes, take a break for ten. Its effectiveness was never doubted, as it has proven to work for you for years. Only ten minutes into this 50 minute period, the devil of restlessness pokes at you and makes you think could time go by any slower? A hand comes up to cover the blush creeping across your cheek as you dismiss Jack’s suggestion, “No, that’s not it.”

Behind your embarrassed hand, Jack cocks an eyebrow at you. Your simple choice of words has given the Agent a hint, that there is something that’s bothering you, he just hasn’t figured it out yet and you don’t want to admit what it is for some reason. He returns to his book, however lost in thought about what your problem could be, while you task every cell in your body to pay attention to your studies. 

35 minutes remain on the clock, and Jack guesses, “Did you have too much coffee?”

You can’t help but grin at his sleuthing, “No, I just had my regular.”

He conjures up another possible solution five minutes later, “Are you itchin’ to get out of the house? We haven’t left in two days.”

He’s getting warmer. Both of you know exactly why you haven’t left the house in two days: you’d been occupied with activities of the sinful variety. You can’t gauge yet whether or not he knows he’s dancing around the answer, “Baby, you’re distracting me. And nope, it’s not that.” 

He smiles apologetically, “Sorry,” and uses his book as a partition, blocking your ability to procrastinate and just visually drool all over him.

Silence fills the next 20 minutes. Even though Jack is out of your sight, details from your observations exaggerate themselves in your mind to the point that they’re all encompassing, intoxicating. The way his jeans wrap around his legs ever so perfectly, the worn denim hugging those muscular thighs that he loves for you to grind yourself against when you’re feeling especially desperate (like now). How his plaid flannel slopes over the swell of his belly, stretching tight against his skin as his diaphragm contracts and deflating when he exhales. Even his large feet, strewn about lazily on the couch, his toes pointing in different directions, amuse you. 

Ten minutes remain in your study session. Feeling guilty about spending the majority of the last hour envisioning the seductive intricacies of your boyfriend, you actually start to study. 

“How many times do you think I can make you cum in ten minutes?”

Your eyes are ripped from your material and land on the menace lazing on the couch. He’s put his book down, one arm behind his head while the other is crooked, allowing himself to palm his cock through his pants. Jack’s wearing a shit-eating grin, bewitching your crossed legs to switch which one is on top; an excuse to apply more pressure to the yearning area between them. You fidget in the chair, shamefully trying to get the seam of your underwear to rub against you in just the right way. You shrug, “I-I’m not sure.”

He gets up and comes over to you, standing behind you and leaning forward to rest his chin on your shoulder. He murmurs in your ear, “I think we should find out during your next break.”

You turn to face him, “I think so too.”

He gives you a quick kiss, “Well, you better be a good girl and study for these last few minutes. Earn that break.” He places his large hands on either side of your head and turns it toward your materials, making you both laugh.

Somehow, you’re able to pay attention. Jack’s impending promise of ravaging you for ten minutes straight quells your jittering nerves and gives you something specific to look forward to. Before you know it, your alarm is beeping, alerting you that your break has commenced. Jack cages you by reaching forward and grabs the clock, programs it to ten minutes and keeps it in his hand. He grips the sides of your swivel chair, pulls it back from the table and spins you around to face him, the speed of the turn making your hair swoosh across your shoulders. Through mutual giggles, Jack lifts you up, winding your legs around his waist, your arms doing the same around his neck. “I want you to count for me how many times you cum.”

Breathlessly, you simply obey, “Okay.”

He practically runs to the bedroom. He sets the clock on the nightstand and turns the face towards the mattress so you don’t lose out on studying time. Tossing you onto the bed, your giggling continues as you bounce from the force. Jack hooks his fingers in your underwear and yanks them down, pulling them out from under your skirt and over your shoes. The way he wastes no time ridding you of any other garment makes blood and heat flood your center and air rush out of your lungs. He pushes your lost air back into your mouth with a kiss and then immediately retreats back to in between your legs.

He flicks the fabric of your skirt up onto your belly, letting himself have complete, unobstructed access to his early lunch. His fingers fondle your folds while his lips place sloppy kisses along the inside of your thighs. After he’s had his fill of that step, he sits back and stares at you: spread out for him, more than willing to take anything he wants to give to you. He blows out a whistle, eyeing your core, and you say, “Hey, you’re on the clock, cowboy. No time for dramatics.”

He nods, a smirk pulling at one side of his mouth, “You’re right, sweetheart.”

He spits onto your cunt, forgoing his usual gentle licks to adequately wet your pussy. A quiet fuck escapes your mouth as he plunges his tongue into you. Your fingers wind themselves in his chocolatey locks and pull, extracting an excited moan from your lover. His fingers knead the soft flesh on the backs of your thighs as he eats and when his mustache starts to tickle your clit, you’re done for. Your grip on his hair becomes vice-like and your whole body seizes up, constricted by enrapturing pleasure. You strangle out, “One.”

Jack unlatches his mouth only once he’s certain your first orgasm is complete. He stands, admires your wrecked expression, takes his cock out, spits into his hand and pumps his dick a few times. Hands slithering around your waist, he flips you onto your stomach and pulls your ass up, positioning you on your hands and knees. You’re a little bit dizzied by his manhandling in combination with his expert tongue, but this type of vertigo is the most enjoyable you’ve ever experienced. 

When he pushes into you, it’s a bit of a stretch because he hadn’t warmed you up with his fingers. He relaxes you by leaning forward, pressing his chest against your back and peppering soft kisses to your shoulder blades. The clink of his belt comically punctuates his thrusts, but your laughs are swallowed by intoxicated groans. You don’t know, and you don’t really care to figure out, how he already has you teetering on the edge of cumming again. Heightened senses tell you that you’re close; the fabric of his shirt feels unearthly soft as it brushes against patches of exposed skin, his fingertips are delightful lead in their clamp on you, his grunts and pants angelically reverberate in your skull. And then, suddenly and all at once, “Two.”

Jack’s pride shows itself in a smirk while he flips you onto your back. He makes a show of hooking your calves over his shoulders, eliciting laughter from the both of you. Resting almost all of his weight on top of you, your knees find your chest and his hands find your hair. The intimacy of it all is almost too much; his thumbs stroke your temples, palms cradle your head, those goddamned puppy-dog eyes bore into you. You turn your head in his grasp to check your timing: five minutes left. 

Jack’s tongue darts out to lick the pads of his fingers before he snakes it down in between the two of you to rub your clit. Your moans come out uncontrollably, your eyelids stutter and he eggs you on, “That’s it, sweetheart. Give me another one.”

Hearty moans are reduced to desperate gasps and you’re unable to verbally acknowledge the third orgasm that rips through you. Nonetheless, Jack can tell from the way your eyes roll into the back of your head and his name tumbles ferociously out of your mouth that you’re cumming. “’Atta girl.”

Jack takes his cock out of you and the whine that escapes your lips embarrasses you. He can’t help but laugh at your whimpering before he scoots down the bed and starts to eat you out again, framing his head with your quaking thighs. You find the strength to check the time, “Jack, there’s only a minute and a half left.”

He moans deeply into you, unaffected by your comment, and eases three fingers into your fluttering center. Like earlier, your hands fly to his hair like a magnet and find purchase so tight it makes your knuckles go pale. In a matter of seconds, circling your clit with his sopping tongue and tapping your g-spot with his deft fingers, Jack has you cumming yet again. This time you yell out the count, “Four!”

The sounds his ministrations make are lewd and exhilarating, pushing himself to his own precipice. You look down your body to find Jack’s other hand jerking his cock and his seed spilling out of him moments later. He groans into your pussy while you pet his hair, praising him for his efforts. 

Simultaneously, you both remember that you’re being timed. Your eyes meet the clock at the same time: 30 seconds. Jack springs from the bed and pulls you up with him, grabbing your discarded panties. He squats and taps your ankles so you lift your legs up, sliding each leg hole over your body and pulling your underwear up underneath your skirt. 

You fumble with his mussed clothes, stuffing his still-hard cock into his boxers, hiking his jeans up over his ass and zip and button them closed. You snake his belt around his waist and let his fingers do the work of buckling it before he picks you up bridal style and ushers you out of the bedroom, grabbing the clock off of the nightstand on your way out. 

Unhinged cackles follow you two down the hallway as you return to the living room. He plops you down in your chair, straightens you out, gives you a kiss on the cheek and then your alarm goes off. You raise your eyebrows at him, “Jeez, you didn’t waste a second.” 

He hums, then mumbles, “You get back to work now, babygirl,” and leaves you with a yearning kiss on the part of your hair.

Both of you return to your respective readings, hopelessly trying to downgrade your panting gasps to normal breaths. The absence of Jack’s warmth is already painful. But you rationalize that the indulgence of the last ten minutes is more than enough to get you through this next hour of studying, if not for longer.

Little do you know that Jack feels the same pain. His ache for your touch, sexual or not, will overtake him later and he’ll be unable to resist the temptation of coming over and distracting you again. Determined to finish your studying, you’ll propose a compromise: you can sit in his lap while he is lulled to sleep by the ambience of the afternoon rain and the enveloping comfort of you. The two of you can try to beat the record of four orgasms next semester. 

💘taglist: @pascalpanic​, @mellowswriting​

[psychologicharacters]

Writing Realistic Dialogue

Hey, y’all.  One of the things I see people having difficulty with the most when they’re starting out writing -- whether it’s fanfic, original stories, film/play scripts, or otherwise -- is dialogue.  Dialogue is usually defined in literature as spoken communication between characters.  This can be the most difficult part for some people, but it’s also one of the most important things to master for believable, engaging, and professional writing.

The main aspects of dialogue I pay attention to are realism and significance.  When writing dialogue-driven works like scripts or transcripts, these aspects are especially important.  Here are some of my tips for dialogue writing.

Grammar and Punctuation

Before anything else, punctuation and sentence structure are important to any piece of writing.  Grammar and punctuation in dialogue, however, are pretty necessary to nail down for clarity and smoothness of reading.  A few grammar and punctuation rules and examples:

- know your punctuation before you start writing.  review basic punctuation and the functions and connotations of each type so you can use it to communicate your ideas as engagingly and realistically as possible.  (a resource: https://www.thepunctuationguide.com)

- quotation marks are necessary anytime someone is physically speaking.  the punctuation goes inside the quotation marks, “like this.”  (the exception is if someone is speaking in their head or as the narrator -- then it’s fine to not use quotes.  many people use something else to replace the quotes, such as italicizing, bolding, or using parentheses, which I'm doing this exact second.)

- it’s either “should have” or “should’ve,” not “should of.”  “should of” and “could of” aren’t real things.  it’s “should have” and “could have”.  whether or not you pronounce it more like “of” doesn’t matter; it’s not grammatically correct.  if you really want us to know it’s pronounced like “of”, you can use the conjunction and write “should’ve,” which is the same sound but is grammatically correct.

- when you end dialogue and there’s a phrase afterwards, put a comma there.  “It’s like this,” I demonstrated.  “You also need to do this when breaking up sentences or phrases,” I continued, “and put a comma after the joining phrase.”

- one space after a comma, two spaces after a period.  your grade school teachers might not have cared about this, but your readers do; it helps a lot with reading comprehension and the overall appearance of your writing.

Realism of Dialogue: The Casual/Formal Spectrum

Now that we’ve covered some grammar and punctuation, we’re ready to talk about realism of dialogue.  One of the most helpful tools in my box is the idea of casualness vs. formality.  This applies to both the sentence structure (in what way or how casually/formally are they saying this?) and the word choice (how casual/formal are the words and phrases they’re using?).  Ideally, you want to be somewhere in between the two extremes below, depending on the character you're writing for.  This is a delicate balance because you want to make the dialogue sound real while still writing in a grammatically correct manner.  Here are my tips for avoiding both ends of the spectrum:

- writing dialogue isn’t like text-talking.  i text very differently from how i write formally, often excluding punctuation and capitalization, but formal writing looks unprofessional and disrupted without those things.  instead of writing someone saying “um ok are you coming or not” it would be “Um, okay...are you coming, or not?”  

- on the other hand, people don’t always talk in full, correct sentences.  this one is tricky because it depends on cultural factors, such as place and time, but for the most part, modern people use a combination of full sentences and sentence fragments.  a teenage character probably wouldn’t say something like “Would you like to come with me to the dining hall tonight?” so much as “Wanna hit the dining hall?” or even just “Dining hall tonight?”  *NOTE: both of those last two alternatives are informal, but for different reasons: the first one is a grammatically correct sentence with informal words, and the second is a grammatically incorrect sentence with formal words.  people use both of these combinations all the time in verbal communication, and your dialogue will sound much more natural if you’re mindful of realistic speech patterns.

Now that you know some guidelines of realistic dialogue, the real trick is to find/develop your characters’ voices and unique balances between these extremes.  My goal when moving from realistic to characterizating dialogue is usually to move from “yeah, someone would say that” to “yeah, (insert character) would say that.”

Significance of Dialogue

The other piece of the dialogue puzzle is its significance, or why your characters are saying what they’re saying.  Dialogue is a tool that can be used for many different important functions in your work.  It can function as characterization, exposition, plot furthering, or emotional stimulation for you, your characters, and your audience.  Here are some questions to ask yourself when writing and editing your work.

- why is your character saying this instead of 1) saying something else or 2) another character saying it?  

- does it make sense grammatically and in context?

- is it necessary?  one of the things that makes me lose focus and interest is when there’s too much unnecessary dialogue where body language, literary narration, cinematography, editing, or just fewer words would convey the same message better.  so consider: is dialogue the best way to convey your idea(s)?  if so, what is the most efficient and effective way to structure it?

- does it give insight into the character?  if it’s already significant to the plot, you can make it even more significant by making it characterizing as well.  does your character speak with a lot of pop culture or literary references?  do they tend to ask questions, or state their opinion and wait for someone else to jump in?  do they like to talk or do they not talk much?  are they rude?  sarcastic?  kind?  educated?  is their head in the clouds?  what does their dialogue reveal?

- is it too expositional?  exposition is essential, mostly background, information on the characters and the plot.  the golden rule of writing, “show, don’t tell,” is a warning against heavy exposition because it can get boring.  instead of a character asking, “Did you go to your appointment and get your medication like you do every Tuesday?” they could say, “How was your appointment?” and the other character could show them a pill bottle and say, “Just like every Tuesday.”  those are both expositional, but one is more interesting and “shows” the audience what’s happening more than “telling” them.

- is there some effect that you want that is missing?  try different word choice, a different tone or emotion, another type of dialogue, or switching from dialogue to another mode of writing.  play around with those until you get the vibe you’re looking for.

Overall (tl;dr)

Dialogue is one of the trickiest components of creative writing, but with time and practice, it can be one of the most useful and exciting as well.  Consider who, what, and why at every step of the process to maximize the effectiveness of your dialogue.  Remember your grammar and punctuation and then go back and edit for significance and clarity.  

Feel free to ask questions about this post or any of my other posts.  I’m always glad to talk about anything on this blog.  Happy writing!

[writing-with-olive]

A starting place for self-editing your novel

I wrote this in a reblog to one of @boy-who-can-fly​‘s posts, but as I couldn’t add any tags to that that would make it findable to more than just my followers, I figured I’d make the same content in an original post because YAY TAGS!

Without further ado...

1) Take a break.

Some authors have suggested taking a break for six or so weeks, but I find anything longer than three makes me too distanced from my story, and I have to work a lot harder to get back into my protagonist’s head. During this break, don’t so much as look at your story. Instead, focus on something else. Maybe growing your author platform, planning or developing another wip, or researching the publishing industry if publishing is the end goal for your book (this goes for both traditional and self pub). The point of this is that without some distance, it’s going to be a lot harder to see larger developmental flaws.

(this is a very long post, so the rest of the steps are below the break)

2) The first read-through.

After your break has ended, and you’ve got to be a little stern with yourself not to extend it farther than what you set, or else you’ll never return to it, do a readthrough. This means either just reading it off you’re computer or kindle, or going to somewhere like staples and getting it printed and spiral bound (this costs money, but I found it helpful down the line). Two rules: 1) no editing. 2) look at the first rule. This read-through is going to help give you a general sense of what is and isn’t working in your book; the problems you notice here are likely going to be the biggest ones. (if you want, you can combine this step with step three, but I found it more helpful to keep them seperate)

3) Outline.

It doesn’t matter whether you outlined before, or whether you decided to pants it. By the time you get to editing, you need to have an outline that’s reflective of what you actually put on the page. Go through your story, chapter by chapter, and for each new scene write down

what is your character’s goal in this scene

what is standing in their way

what is the outcome of the scene.

This list should not go into depth; one short sentece per point, MAX. That being said, make sure to keep things specific, so “MC wants to convice X to go with them to Y.” is going to be a lot more useful to you later on than “MC tries to convince them to go.” This outline is going to help you objectively look at your story structure, as you can see a lot more of what’s happening at once, without being quite so overwhelmed by the sheer mass of the words you wrote. Yes, this step can be a bit tedious, but it is so, so worth it.

4) Sort out what you need to fix, aka start making a game plan for your edits.

Now that you’ve read through your wip at least once through, and probably twice, you probably have a pretty good idea of what you need to fix. The key here is that right now, you want to be fixing on the global edits - the things that span beyond just a single scene or chapter. The reason why is that you don’t want to be spending hours perfecting a scene that you’re just going to need to cut later because it doesn’t advance the plot.

In a new document or spreadsheet (whatever you think will work better for you, I liked using a google doc), write issues you see with:

Each of your main cast (regarding character development, motivations voice, etc)

Setting/s (consistancy, realism for your world)

General worldbuilding (consistancy, things poorly explained/set up)

Main plot (following a given plot structure, building tension, etc)

Each subplot (how it intertwines with the main plot, plot structure, building tension, etc)

Other major things you noticed during your readthroughs

These things tend to be larger scope, and generally are worth addressing first.

5) Picking your edit.

Look at the list of edits, and see which one is going to cause the most ripples through your story. This is going to be the first thing you look at to fix. If there are more than one edits that will all have major impacts on the story, think about which edit would make the other ones easier.

For example, in my wip, Project Toxin, my plot was, well, a trainwreck and a dumpster fire’s love child. But my characterization for my MC was also a wreck. Still, getting the overall plot more in order would make it easier for me to edit my MC, so I chose plot first.

6) Make a game plan for your edit.

Before diving in and ripping through your first draft, come up with a game plan. Brainstorm possible solutions to the edit you’ve chosen, and look at what ripples it would cause. You want to make sure that what route you take isn’t going to upset something major or crucial to your story. Most likely whatever solution you choose will cause some other upsets, so just make sure to think through what makes most sense for your story.

For example, when working on my story, I was fixing plot first. Figuring out my game plan meant looking at my scene list and moving things around/adding/cutting content until I had a plot that was much more satisfactory, and that was, in my mind, not a wreck.

Possible game plans for different types of edits:

1. Plot:

Look at your scene list. What helps to advance the plot? What is dragging the pacing. Are there any elements that you are adding or cutting in your overall story that need to be accounted for? With this in mind, cross out scenes that you want to cut, move scenes around that need to come in a different order, add scenes that need to be added, and mark scenes that need to be combined into one.

2. Characters:

For each of your characters, look at their character development. It’s going to be hard to make them come to life better on the page unless you’ve got a grasp of who they are, even if you didn’t plan them out originally. If you have not, consider listing in a spreadsheet or google doc what their backstory is, what their goals are, why they want those goals, and what a few of their strengths and weaknesses are. Also think about their voice: what words do they use more often? Sentence structures? What do they sound like when they’re talking? Stuff like that. If your character is inconsistant, pick one version of them that you want to follow (knowing that they will likely change over the course of the story), and look at what parts of them you will need to change to accomodate that.

3. Setting/Worldbuilding:

I’ve put these together here as they’re somewhat similar. For poorly explained aspects of worldbuilding, look at where you might add in little details so you can better set that foundation (this is not usually a global edit). If things are inconsistant, look at what makes the most sense for your story, and like what we talked about with characters, alter the rest to accomodate that.

7) Making edits.

This is where you really get to dig in and really move things around. Using the edit you’ve picked and the game plan you’ve developed, go through scene by scene and make the changes. I strongly recommend having a seperate doc from your rough draft to store your second draft in. Currently, my process is to have both open at the same time, and if a scene is already fine, I’ll just copy/paste it over. At least for me, however, it’s usually not, and I’ll either make tweaks to fix it up, or, more often at this early stage, I’ll rewrite it. As an added bonus, I also find that rewriting it makes my prose a lot stronger, since I’ve grown so much as a writer since I originally wrote the scene.

Since you know your story better, you may find other elements that you want to change are improving as you edit. If not though, don’t worry - they’ll get their own editing pass.

8) Repeat steps 5-7

You made a list of edits you needed to make back in step four. Now, follow steps 5-7 to make all of those edits and changes.

9) Repeat steps 2-8

Two steps telling you to repeat in a row? Yes. The deal now is that you want to make sure you’ve cleaned up any global edits before moving on to anything smaller. If you’ve been thourough thus far, this will be a very fast step. If not, think of this step as a safety net. There may have been ripples that you didn’t notice earlier on, and it’s a good thing you’re catching them now.

10) Chapter edits

At this point, we’ve cleaned up all the big edits. Now we’re going to look at each chapter. Within each chapter, there needs to be a mini-arc. A beginning, middle, and end. This is the time to really focus on that. Also focus on things like tightening up prose, combining or compressing paragraphs, making sure you’ve adequately set the scene, etc. If you’re over the word count limit regarding your genre, also focus on cutting a certain number of words from each chapter to put your story back within those limits.

11) The little things

This is about combing through your wip to find all of the little errors that have made their way through edits. Typos, weird or incorrect grammar, useless adverbs, things like that. At this point, everything is on a more superficial level.

Beta Readers

Given that this has gotten quite long, I’m not going to go in depth about beta readers here, but around step 10/11, you’re going to start recruiting beta readers (you’re going to want to try and have multiple rounds of somewhere around 10 betas each, which is why having a good author platform is useful: recruiting is easier). Between each round, you’re going to look at their feedback and make the necessary edits. After several rounds of beta readers, you’re going to look it over a few more times, and then if you��re going the traditional publishing route, you’re going to query agents. If you’re going the self-pub route you’re going to look to hire a professional editor. If you’re not looking to publish, this may be the end of the line.

Good luck editing!

[scribeofred]

Hi! I was just wondering what advice you would give to first time writers.

Hi there!

Depending on time of day, mood, and what I’ve been editing and/or reading recently, my answer to this sort of question changes. Today, I’ve gone full prose, and I’m not sure how strictly helpful this is going to be, but hopefully you’ll be able to glean something useful!

That said.

One of the most important things—if not the most important thing—a new writer can do is WRITE. Just write. Fiction? Absolutely. Nonfiction? Sure, why not. Poetry? If you’re so inclined! Song lyrics? You’re a more brilliant writer than I. Essays? Analyses? Any series of words that comes to mind? Yes, yes, and yes.

Write. Experiment. Break any rules you’re currently aware of and a whole ton you don’t even know exist. Play with language. Get comfortable with using enormous words, tiny words, strong words, weak words; feel the rhythm of language and of different sentence constructions. Hone your ear, really listen to how words sound, look at their appearances, hold the shapes of them in your mouth, let them sit heavy in your gut and flutter the tips of your fingers. (If you really attune yourself to the English language, there should be no such thing as a synonym because no two words mean exactly the same thing.)

Mess about with storytelling. Write as many different kinds of characters and situations as you can. Become aware of what parts of writing you find superbly easy and what parts you want to torch with a flamethrower. Push yourself. Write raw, write real, write those things that scare you, don’t be afraid of doing this writing thing wrong. Not yet (maybe not ever). Don’t don’t don’t DON’T let yourself become paralyzed by all the writing advice out there, all the rules, all the dos and don’ts, all the this-is-how-real-writers-do-it. (Related: I am currently reading a book on writing that I think is excellent—except for the author’s approach to organic plotting. I hate the method he champions. It doesn’t mesh with my style at all. But the rest of the information in the book is A+ and I can’t discount all of it just because that writer and I have different drafting methodologies.) On that note, if anything I say doesn’t jive with your style, ignore it! There’s nothing wrong with cherry-picking writing advice, especially when it’s come from an informal setting like this.

Don’t immediately seek out feedback or editing or publication. It’s so tempting to do that—getting feedback can be addictive, I know—but you need to discover what works for you first and foremost, what makes you excited to write, what causes your unique words to bubble up like a spring. Your early writing might suck. In fact, it almost certainly will suck. I can’t read anything I wrote more than eight years ago because it’s just too cringy. And that’s okay! Every word you put down is a new stepping-stone, and one day you’re going to look back and realize that while many of those stones are shrouded in the fog of time, they’re still there—they still carried you to where you are now—and there are more ahead of you as long as you keep laying words down.

Enjoy yourself! Have fun! Those first two or so years of writing are pure magic, a budding infatuation with all the possibilities that are available to you via this new world of your own creation. Go mad with power. Get drunk on language.

If you really want to, begin learning about the craft of storytelling, about the rules of grammar, about writing in general. Don’t let any of that learning shove you into a box and tape you inside. The best writers break the rules somewhere, somehow—you just need to determine what rules you want to flout and why, and you won’t know that until you actually begin writing for yourself. (If you want a couple of excellent books that aren’t prescriptive, I highly recommend Spellbinding Sentences by Barbara Baig and Mastering the Craft of Writing by Stephen Wilbers.)

Don’t pressure yourself into finishing everything. Don’t feel guilty about not finishing every project you begin. Words aren’t wasted, and sometimes you might only write down a few sentences of a story before getting swept up in the heady elation of a new idea. That’s okay! Similarly, do occasionally finish projects. If you need to set the bar really low, that’s fine. Write a story in exactly 100 words. Exactly 200 words. Exactly 500 words. 1,500 words. Learn how to feel the weight of an idea—and learn your own tendencies. Some writers naturally come up with novels; others naturally come up with short stories. Novel ideas and short story ideas are not the same thing. Play around and discover the differences. Build the habit of finishing projects, though. Not all projects, but some. Revel in the accomplishment—you have completed a story! That’s wild, not every writer can say that! Treat yourself to something delicious or that ultraglittery bath bomb you’ve been eyeing or a pair of snuggly socks or anything. Just make it good, make it a proper reward.

Test out the method of highly structured plotting; then, for the next story, abandon yourself to the whims of your imagination. You’ll probably land somewhere in the middle—most writers do—but you’ll never know unless you try. Discover what you hate about writing, those things that make you want to flip your laptop or phone through the window; circumvent what issues you can, and learn how to mitigate the others. Alternately, force yourself to write something you absolutely hate—if you can do that without letting it crush your spark. Nurture that little flame, feed it tantalizing ideas and engaging characters and the most beautiful words you can find until it’s a roaring fire that cannot be quenched. Discover what you do love to write—and write it!

The world needs your words, your unique voice, your particular storytelling flair. Put pen to paper, fingers to keyboard, thumbs to screen—and write. Anything. Everything. Pure nonsense, your deepest fears and grievances, gossamer words so fragile they dissolve in the eddying breeze, the very truest sentence you know how to write. Don’t lie. Don’t pretend to write as someone you aren’t. Spend time mimicking other writers’ styles, sampling their voices like you’d sample an enormous buffet laid out before you, but don’t stay there. Carve out your own hobbit hole where you’re comfortable, where things are familiar and nourishing, where you’re at home. Occasionally bust down those walls, rearrange the furniture, write literary cubism one day, purple prose the next, stark, bleak, bone-dry reality the day after. Writing is a long, long, long journey, it takes a lifetime to master, so spend those early days and years playing. Delight in the process of creation. Delight in reaching your goals.

Create. Have fun. Don’t take yourself too seriously, and don’t open yourself up to criticism or spark-snuffing feedback too soon. Writing is an intensely personal thing, and you need to get comfortable with it before you can put it on display for the world. Keep laying words down, one stone after another, even when you know you’re not writing as well as you want to be or think you can. Developing your skills takes time—be aware that you’re going to need months, probably even years, before you’re going to have a solid grasp on your own writing tendencies. Work on building that foundation for yourself so you can keep reaching higher, farther, to more fantastical and amazing places.

Give yourself time; don’t expect yourself to be perfect immediately. Be gracious with yourself as you build your skills. Don’t compare yourself to other writers. Stay spongy; always be ready to learn. And—most important—have fun and don’t ever give up!

[indreamsink]

Hello! Sorry if this sounds annoying, but I'm an aspiring writer on AO3 and you're my favorite Dramione author!Do you have any writing advice, specially regarding the pacing of the stories? I feel like I can't balance scenes descriptions and dialogue correctly, but you're amazing at making your stories flow seamlessly!

Well hi, thank you so much! I really appreciate you. <3

Thanks for reaching out, and sorry it’s taken me a few days to get to this ask. I wanted to be sure I had time to actually sit down and go through some old notes and take some time to properly respond (it got a little long, sorry x). Here are a few things I try to keep in mind when I’m writing that I’ve learned over the years - and please note, this is just my own personal opinion on these things, and I’m by no means an expert. <3

I think one of the biggest things about good pacing is to keep the reader engaged. To create and hold tension, the story always needs to be moving forward in some way or another (this doesn’t mean there can’t be setbacks, but that the situation needs to evolve in plot/character development).

Conflict - this lies at the heart of every story, but can take a number of forms. What does your character want, and how will they seek to achieve it? Is the goal internal, external, or both? Do others stand in the way? These are important questions to ask yourself and to understand, even if some of it never makes it to the page. Your implicit knowledge will often embed itself more than you might think. 

As the stakes raise, the conflict needs to follow suit or the circumstances could grow dull and incongruent - ie drastic consequences for something that isn’t a big deal.

Conversely, non-stop conflict and tension can become tedious and tiresome to read. Allow your characters a break now and again. Shifts in pace will keep the story feeling fresh.

Keep track of your threads and try to avoid plot holes or noticeable discrepancies, which can jar a reader out of the story.

If your characters are likeable or relatable (not necessarily both) the reader will tend to care more about them and likewise become more invested.

Storytelling - this encompasses a number of things. You can lose a lot by way of pace with too much unnecessary infodumping. Let things unfold naturally, and not everything needs to be shared all at once. A little ambiguity can keep interest in the back of the reader’s mind, so that when information comes out down the road it’s that much more rewarding. The things left unsaid can often add a lot. 

Jumping right in on the action can often catch a reader’s attention right away, instead of a bunch of exposition.

Revealing information through dialogue can help to advance the story between characters, without feeling like a heavy block of narrative or description. 

Not every scene needs to be fully expanded on. If all the points of consequence have been shared, the scene can cut to the next without any significant loss in plot. 

Reflections can be used in place of fully fleshed out scenes to keep things moving. 

If you’re jumping between perspectives/POVs, you don’t need to re-tell the same scenes twice from different perspectives unless you’re purposely intending to reveal something that maybe one character missed that’s vital to the progression of the story. Also keep in mind that by splitting POVs the reader will know more than any one character will.

Word choice goes a long way. Short, crisp sentences will keep things moving faster (something I struggle with personally), whereas longer, flowing sentences can slow things down a little. I try to mix it up to keep a good flow. Check you aren’t structuring all your sentences in the same way, and don’t be afraid to break up your paragraphs - large blocks of text can sometimes be tedious.

SHOW, don’t tell. Instead of having a character say something angrily, demonstrate it. Is their hand curled into a fist? Their jaw clenched? Their face flushed? Making reactions visual and visceral can go a long way, not only in keeping the reader emotionally engaged, but also in preventing bland description.

There are so many “rules” of writing, many of which are subjective, and I try to be mindful of a number of them. But I think the biggest thing in writing, like in any craft, is always striving to improve and recognize learning opportunities. I do things in my writing now that I never considered even a year or two ago. The best way to improve, honestly, is just to keep working at it. Read, write, read, write, and so on. If you’re just starting out, stick with fleshing out a short piece to dip your feet in before digging into anything too substantial. 

If you haven’t already, try and track down an alpha or beta reader. An alpha is someone who reads at a bigger picture level - plot holes, characterization, storyline, pacing; a beta is the person who goes through to catch the spelling, grammar, punctuation, and sometimes wording/sentence structure. Just having a second, objective set of eyes can go a really long way in determining where you’re doing well and where you could stand to improve. Writing is a neverending pursuit, and you’ll probably never feel like you’re where you want to be, but that’s part of the joy of it (most of the time). 

I hope some of this was helpful!! I wish you the best in your writing (and I apologize for this novel of a response). <3

[dolls-self-ships]

Groupchat with me and the Penguins headcanons

* First, I would need to teach them all how to read, write, and text

* After that excruciatingly long process, we all have a vote on what our gc name should be

* Skipper wanted smthn professional but cool, something James Bond would pick

* Kowalski wanted a punny name bc he’s a huge dork

* Rico just wanted it to be an amalgamation of emojis and symbols bc that’s his favourite keyboard mode. No structure only chaos

* Private wanted something cute and sweet like “best friends gc” with little unicorn emojis

* I suggested “Penguin Frat House HQ” and they all immediately loved it

* We all have private phones w their own data/wifi specially crafted by Kowalski bc Skipper is not abt to put himself on the grid no fucking thank you

* They all utilize the chat VERY differently

* Skipper is like a mom when it comes to figuring out technology. “How do I hold this thing?” “Where’s the on button?” “Why is private sending me little faces?” He holds it far away from his face and then really close as he types awkwardly slow

* Soon figures out he needs reading glasses

* Private love love loves those heart and ‘love and affection’ memes and he sends them frequently, the guys refuse to admit that they’re always a little touched by them even if they do show up after every three text messages

* also 💕❤️🦄😫uses 😍💕😛✨a lot😸 🥰🤩😵💋of unnecessary 👅 🐡💕emojis 😤🐬🥺❤️😘

* everyone’s like “private wtf does cheese grater, dancing lady and strand of DNA mean?”

* “idk I just thought they looked cute”

* Rico is all about those cursed emoji reaction photos and obscure Instagram memes with the colour fonts over photos of sonic the hedgehog or Mario

* He’s definitely broken his phone multiple times bc careful isn’t in his vocabulary

* I use those twitter stan reaction photos of girls sipping tea and comically warped/exaggerated expressions

* Kowalski is the 3am meme and science pun supplier

* queue Kowalski snorting at his own joke and us yelling at him to go to fucking sleep

* He also will find any excuse to bring trivia into the conversation, we could be talking about literally anything and he’d suddenly text “you know fun fact about (insert topic of discussion here) and it will always be followed by actually several facts. whether they’re fun or not is up for debate

* Skipper only uses the chat for business reasons and doesn’t even type in multiple sentences. Just singular statements like “meeting at 5.” “Training at 11.”

* I know they usually exclude me unless he mentions “you too, Cass.”

* He’s also a bit of a dad and will occasionally check up on me and the guys. “Cassandra, are you studying?” “Private, make sure you have something healthy after all that candy. There’s fish in the fridge.” “Kowalski, go to bed.” “Rico, no explosives in the house.” Cute stuff like that.

* even though I taught them all how to type, internet lingo still alludes them

* they don’t understand how me smashing down on the key board equates to laughing

* “it’s MORE than laughing though. It’s like the chaotic feelings you get when you see something that makes you go !!!”

* they’re all like “hi yeah what the FUCK does that mean”

* Kowalski specifically doesn’t get internet lingo because it goes against everything he learned about grammar. Like why would you make all these language rules just to break them?????

* Whenever he uses acronyms like “lol” or “wtf” he HAS to and I mean has to put them in all caps and use proper punctuation by putting the periods in between each letter. If not he will go insane

* Rico picked up using multiple exclamation points and question marks in unnecessary places from me

* Private will send little messages at random saying things like “just a reminder that I Iove you all ❤️” and “remember to drink some water 🤗” because he’s fuckin babey

[okay-victoria]

Writing Dialogue

While some choices in dialogue will come down to style preference, most fanfic dialogue suffers from a much earlier problem of being done incorrectly, no matter what the stylistic preference. Once basic spelling & grammar is mastered, and assuming the fic contains more than a handful of dialogue, I think bad dialogue is the thing that kills my enjoyment the fastest. I can handwave plotholes and understand emotions that weren’t conveyed right, but I can’t read people having a conversation that doesn’t look anything like an actual human conversation.

Problem 1: Too Much Drama

We want our scenes to pulse with energy! Of course we want the dialogue to be dramatic! The problem here is, what makes for good dramatic dialogue is not people yelling powerful words at each other very passionately. What makes for dramatic dialogue is mostly the importance of that scene to the plot & the characters, so to achieve dramatic dialogue, the best thing you can do is not overly rely on the dialogue itself to be dramatic. Set up a dramatic situation, and then people don’t have to yell. They can say a few basic sentences and the audience already knows why it is important and why the characters care so much.

Have you ever seen the scene in The Room where Tommy Wiseau yells “You’re tearing me apart, Lisa!” Did you actually find that dramatic or did it just make you laugh because it was overdramatized? That’s what dramatic dialogue does to a story. Unless your characters are middle schoolers exclaiming it out in the hall between classes, chances are, older and more mature characters aren’t going to do a lot of yelling or make weirdly dramatic statements like the world is ending.

One of the biggest offenses on this count is overusing exclamation points and overusing emphasis. Exclamation points should be used very, very rarely, as should telling your reader what words are meant to be emphasized. Your character’s mood should primarily come through action - are they slamming doors, pacing back and forth, collapsing into a chair? Dialogue tags like “shouted” or “replied angrily” can be used to help, but should not stand on their own as the only thing portraying mood.

Instead of looking like this: “OMG! Can you believe it! Drama! Let me scream all the drama out in a monologue!” Lisa screamed, it should look like *Lisa kicks off her shoes, one leaves a mark on the wall* *Lisa slams bag down on counter, opens fridge for beer* *Lisa’s boyfriend stands frozen, as this is not normally how Lisa comes home from work. “This thing happened.” *Lisa collapses into kitchen chair and sticks head in her hands.* *Lisa’s boyfriend comes to put a hand on her back*. “One sentence reminding reader why Lisa is upset about this”.

Problem 2: Too Little Drama

Alternatively, you get scenes that sometimes look like two college roommates got high and are trying to acquire a pizza with as little effort as possible. Let’s say, for example, you have one character that has a crush on another character, and they are trying to find out information about them. While maybe the character learning this information is going to do something with it, so it’s important to the plot in another way, so the conversation itself does not need to be dramatic, it might end up looking like this:

I met Crush after class and we walked together. “What’s your favorite color?” - “Red” - “Do you like dogs?” - “Yes. Did you do the homework?” - “Yes. Math is my favorite class. How about you?” - “P.E.”

Like with the above, setup and action are everything. If you set up the scene where we know in advance how long it has taken Karen to get up the courage to talk to Chad and things like that, and then include actions in between the dialogue to show that she is nervous and therefore not very talkative, like her glancing up at him briefly but looking away as soon as he makes eye contact, or have her analyze Chad’s mood and wonder if he’s annoyed, etc, the scene can be made much more meaningful without needing to be a “dramatic” scene.

Problem 3: Dialogue is written like exposition

This tends to go unnoticed by some authors who are otherwise decent, and for me really ruins an otherwise decent story. The writing within the dialogue tags is written well, it just isn’t written like dialogue. It is written like exposition/narration.

In exposition: This project was doomed from the beginning. The improvements might look nice on paper, but the law of diminishing returns was going to stop it before it really started. Sounds...not excellent, I just pulled an example out of my ass, but fine.

In dialogue: “I think this project is doomed already,” Bob said, looking around the meeting room. “The improvements might look nice on paper, but the law of diminishing returns is going to stop it before it really starts.”

...sounds like Bob is kind of a psycho, or possibly your most pompous and hated coworker. Who the hell says “Law of Diminishing Returns” out loud if they aren’t a professor? The longer the dialogue and more flowery/technical/big vocab it becomes, which often *adds* to exposition, the worse and more unnatural the dialogue becomes.

Dialogue should not feel the same as the “speech” when a character is thinking. We tend to be fairly limited in how we express ourselves, use shorter and more simple sentence structures, more basic vocabulary, and haven’t memorized what we are going to say, so it doesn’t come out eloquently.

The one real exception to this that isn’t really dialogue, but is speech, is if you have a character making a speech or presentation, which they have prepared for in advance, and it is reasonable for them to give it uninterrupted.

If you want to make a point of one of your characters sounding like a total tool when they speak, you can also do this to achieve that and make it immediately clear to the audience why everyone hates them, but unless that’s what you’re going for, avoid this at all costs.

Problem 4: Dialogue is otherwise unnatural

Always, always, until you’re pretty damn sure you’re pretty damn good at it, say your dialogue out loud.

Would that personally really say “What is that?” or is it “What’s that?” Along the lines of not needing to use emphasis as much as you might think, if you were, say, in Scotland and just saw the Loch Ness monster pop out and want to ask your companion what it is, “What is that?” is fairly unnecessary. “What is that?” suffices. The simple fact that you didn’t use the standard contraction means the character emphasized the “is”. If you just see a piece of mail on someone’s desk that you are curious about, you’re going to say “What’s that?” and it won’t sound like you are dramatically asking about a generic piece of mail.

There are lots of very minor and small things that can easily go wrong in dialogue of this nature. It’s really important to say to yourself: if I was in this situation, how would I say it? Read it like you are acting it out in a movie and see. Also, question if a person would even say a sentence like that to begin with, or if they would be more or less direct in their approach. More direct is appropriate in many cases because people are usually trying to communicate clearly. Even if they are lying, they usually just say a direct statement that is a lie, they don’t dance around it indirectly and give hints to the other character. More indirect is appropriate when a character is trying to have a difficult conversation - we don’t tend to give tough advice or be directly rude, we try to work around it to make it sound better.

Because people want to have “exciting” or “cool” dialogue, they will often also give characters great rebuttals all the time, where they have these snappy conversations. This *can* work, but it’s really hard to pull off well, so in general I’d limit it to having a character having the occasional good rebuttal than a conversation of back-and-forth snark. Honestly, most of us just can’t think on our feet that well, and unless you’ve built the case that these characters can [ie, they’ve been married 20 years and are having the same arguments over and over so have it all thought out] it just seems very unrealistic.

Problem 5: Underutilizing dialogue tags

If you have two characters speaking, theoretically, if we know who the first speaker is and they switch off, a reader can follow the conversation indefinitely and know who is speaking.

In practice, that doesn’t happen. We like to be occasionally reminded. Personally, I try to max out at four consecutive lines of untagged speech, so no more than:

“Hey” said Kyle when he saw Brad.

“Hey.”

“What are you doing tonight?”

“Partying, bro, what did you think?”

“Haha, true. Do you think Lindsey will be there?”

“Man, you have such a crush on her,” Brad laughed.

Problem 6: Overusing dialogue tags

Conversely, in a conversation that is easy to follow, every single line does not need to be followed by a variation of “X person said”. If you are going for a tight back and forth conversation where neither character is thinking in between, you want to gum it up as little as possible with extraneous non-conversation. Hit us with occasional dialogue tags, and that’s it.

Problem 7: Not breaking dialogue up

This is somewhat of a style question, but in general, conversations should only be quick back and forth when that’s the point, but otherwise should generally pause briefly to “show” people doing actions, give some character thoughts, or otherwise break it up so the entire scene isn’t just a conversation.

Also, you can use these pauses as a way of showing hesitation/actual pauses that happen in the conversation.

Problem 8: Huge breaks between dialogue

This is something I am probably the *most* guilty of myself, because I’m writing a story where characters analyze the other characters a lot, so sometimes they’ll pause and think for a while in between. I haven’t quite arrived at the level where I’ve figured out how to get that all to flow in a way that breaks the dialogue up nicely, but not so much it is jarring and you’ve forgotten what the last thing a character said was.

But, anyway, definitely something to keep in mind. While a scene shouldn’t usually be all conversation, breaking the conversation up too much makes it feel like it isn’t a conversation at all.