#and it is fine to be specific
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hi! I've had this blog for a while, and so I wanted to check because obviously, I have so many options when doing my replies, so I wanted to add some affiliates, that way I know who I can always reply to next, or reply as soon as I have a muse for the thread/threads. I’ve never done this, but I can understand the appeal. So if you like this, I will add you to my pinned post as someone I can always reply to, send memes to, answer to etc. Because I am a multimuse you can be specific for a character, and also even if we have never written before, this can be okay to like, just be specific. This is only for mutuals!
#outofmuses#you do not have to add me to your blog#this is just for me like a permanent call for those that want me to reply to them first#and it is fine to be specific#again this is so very common but for me it is a new thing
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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10 years later
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuji itadori#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#itafushi#itafushikugi#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#least heterosexual group photo ive ever drawn tbh#u have the kings of subtle pda and their judgy lesbian third wheel#this does remind me a lot of the kind of art i used to do jhgdjghdfj#specifically that one furuba main trio piece i did forever ago. same vibe better art#anyway......i tried my best........ i tried so hard#i do not know how old they look . the goal was 25/26 but atp i've gaslit myself into thinking they look the same#especially megumi im so . throws hands in the air in defeat#but idk what else i can do cries at least i like it??? i think???????#i don't know!!! if they look younger than 25 whatever!!!!!!!!#why is it so hard fr me to make chars look older im gna slam my head against the door#maybe its fine. idc <- (lie)#in other news itfs are married fight me abt it . yuuji rockin the right hand ring fr Lack Of Finger reasons#also i am Eating nobara's fit . she might also look a bit younger than intended the more i look at her gDI why cant i have nice things#new hairstyle carrying tbh. i think she would a. grow it out and b. switch the side she parts it on to make Seeing easier#god just take it all tht really matters 2 me is low pony nobara and Rings On Fingers itfs#i did my time in yoi i know how to make wedding bands Work
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"This is some gay shit" Good. Silly. Fair enough. Doesn't inherently invalidate other interpretations of the relationship. Honestly yeah, it is kind of gay regardless of their canonical relationship status
"There's literally no platonic explanation for th-" WRONG!! KILLING YOU WITH AMATANORMATIVITY KILLING LOBSTERS 🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞🦞
#i like a good ship as much as the next guy. in fact im mostly a shipper but good lord this phrase pisses me off sometimes#especially when its a relationship that canonically is explicitly platonic to highlight the importance of platonic relationships. COUGH#malevolent#COUGH. <- i ship private eyes. i dont have an issue with it. i think its just when people phrase like that specifically that its a bit HHHH#uhm uhm uhhhh. slips.#jayvik#WOAH. how did that get there (obligatory: i literally ship them. again its just.. the phrasings kind of insanely dismissive of friendships)#amatanormativity#fandom critical#fandom discourse#txt#johnlock#<- AS IN LITERATURE. LIKE. LIKE NOT BBC SPECIFIC (BECAUSE THAT WAS A QUEERBAIT I'M AFRAID)#sashannarcy#<- theyre like. in a polycule to me but that doesnt mean their canonical friendship isnt worth celebrating#dare i say#bnha#mha#rwby#<- I SHIP BUMBLEBY THIS IS NOT ABOUT THEM#lord of the rings#<- again not the ships specifically thats the issue but its just the implication that a romantic reading is like inherently superior#to a platonic one#this isnt even a critique of shipping. i think shippings fine as long as youre willing to acknowledge its not inherently canon (and doesn't#have to be) and dont invalidate or devalue non romantic interpretations#9/6/25 update:#DELTARUNE
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red crowned crane grian
#i started this one so long ago. months#i fully intended for it to be line and color#i do not know what happened but i got like possessed or something to draw a full background#so i ended up spending far too long on it and going through many stages of hate love pain joy and suffering#the thing i was caught up on the most was the water#it still doesn't look right but shhhhhh im not dealing with it any longer#it looks fine enough as is#my favorite part was adding the clouds#oh god that was so fun!!! the sky was feeling kinda bland then i added the clouds#they were so pleasant to do#also you cant really see it well but im very happy with the fish#it is a perch specifically#fish <3#overall im quite happy with this despite the ups and downs#it feels calm#grian#grian fanart#hermitcraft#raff's art
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the nineties and the early aughts television landscape really was defined by long deployment of "will they won't they" dynamics people these days would not be able to handle network television writers' rooms teasing ships for multiple years only to more often than not be given the answer "they will not. <3 hope this helps"
#i have made a variation on this exact post specifically about ER because that show is egregious but the will they won't they of it all is a#fine art that has been so lost these days!#even when the ships do end up together the shows made you suffer for it! for years!#see: doug and carol‚ rachel and ross‚ mulder and scully‚ etc. etc.#the biggest crime really is benson and stabler#but also i don't know what getting them together would actually do for me!
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bad dreams 🌙
#cod#call of duty#john soap mactavish#simon ghost riley#soapghost#my art#specifically for that tumblr anon who read my mind yesterday 🤝#6'4 man tries to climb into his bf's lap to feel like a small child again :'D this is fine
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Continued my indulgent concept work spree, this time focusing the momentum on updating some concepts from one of my projects (Wind Through the Grass).
#cuttledreams#wind through the grass#oc#more bug creatures#plus others#all of these are plot-specific except the ceratopsian beetle#but tbh all these bug dinos are probably going to be included in the world#as an aside#seeing how many people liked my previous concept sketches has been unexpected#My work outside of bugs generally isn't liked that much#I don't think this set will hit for people the same way the first one did as these have a different vibe#but that's fine since I made a lot of development progress while working on these#been struggling with some of these designs for a long time#all that said yeah have more Guys tm
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If you’re reaction to this Neil Gaiman stuff is to crow how “I always hated his work” or “I knew he had bad vibes” I want you to stop, and understand what I hear, which is “they deserved it”
“But no” you say! That wasn’t what you meant. You just wanted to-
What? Talk about how you always knew better? That you were above falling for the act? That you always knew something was off? You are good enough to know evil when you see it?
Cool. So they were too stupid to know better? That they fell for the act? That they should have known something was off like you? That they weren’t good enough to spot this coming?
“That’s not what I meant! I meant his fans!”
Some of his fans were his victims. So only they deserved it?
“Not his fans who were his victims but his annoying fans-“
That’s what you’re getting from this? That you can finally brag to those annoying fans about how stupid they were for liking his work because…. a monstrous level of abuse happened. Glad you’re enjoying putting those fans in their place with….a bunch of horrific sex crimes.
Anyway, people who are making this about Gaiman’s work or his characters have lost the plot, I agree there. But people making this about how smart they were, how they knew better?
Think about what you’re actually saying and maybe shut the fuck up.
#iz rambles#neil gaiman#tw sa mention#tw victim blaming#this is specifically about bragging people should have known or you knew better#it’s fine if you never liked him or thought something was off#the issue is verbalizing it in a way that implies people SHOULD have known#anyway posting this chucking I’m in danger#I am not making up a guy to be mad at I have seen this
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don't you want to be a cult leader? - danyal al ghul au
this is mostly a joke post but i thought it was funny and had to share so--
his first mistake was, obviously, inheriting his father's inability to see an injustice and stand still. -- actually, danyal's first mistake was his lair being so big. a mountainous island with a large temple in the center resembling his old home in Nanda Parbat? With sprawling foliage and rivers and streams and waterfalls galore? What was he going to do with all that space? Let it go to waste? He had plants there! Native trees of the ghost zone growing from the soil! He couldn't let it all be left unchecked!
So naturally after helping a fellow teenage assassin ghost -- who he later learns is named Akihiko, -- from Walker of all people, he sent them over to hang low at his lair until it was safe enough for them to wander around the Zone. Walker couldn't get through Danyal's astrofield if his life depended on it, and trust him -- he's tried. Danny was clearing out debris from his stupid transport vans for weeks.
Honestly it wasn't so bad, he and Aki really quickly became fast friends and Danny loves having a sparring partner close to his level again -- he hasn't had this much fun fighting since he left the League. Aki was very dedicated and levelheaded, the both of them clicked really well because of it.
Nonono, the real trouble began after Danyal met some long-passed League members and allowed them to come join his island as well. Apparently they had made a few enemies of the zone, and maybe Danyal still felt some loyalty to the League. He couldn't just let them be left to rot. Their zealotry could be overlooked so long as they kept it contained and helped him take care of his island.
And it.. snowballs from there? He meets a teen squire aptly calling himself Ambroise -- whether that was his living name or not is yet to be seen -- who died during feudal france, who is just about as dramatic and passionate as every french stereotype makes them out to be. He calls Danyal "my moon and great muse" -- which is both flattering and little uncomfortable, but Danyal's grown up in the League as the Grandson of the Demon Head, he is used to mild worship. he passes it off as nothing more, nothing less. -- and while his energy is overwhelming on the worst of days, he helps Danny draw out of his shell more in ways that Sam and Tucker still struggle with.
Him and Aki butt heads a lot, but the two seem to hold the other in at least some positive regard, so Danny doesn't worry too much about them fighting while he's gone. It only becomes a mild issue when Aki also begins calling Danny "my moon". It's a little sweet, so Danyal brushes it off.
Then he takes in a troupe of ghosts some time after he defeats Pariah Dark and they begin calling him "great one" just as the yetis do in the far frozen. This is where he meets the twins -- a pair of sibling ghosts who call themselves Trixie and Missy (short for Trick and Mislead) -- who aren't quite as passionate as Ambroise but more energetic than Aki. Eventually they also start calling Danyal "my moon" and attach themselves to his hip, even within the living. They like to hide in his shadow and cause trouble for the rest of the students. He makes sure they don't hurt anyone.
He's pretty sure Aki is jealous, same with Ambroise, but he can't be too certain other than the fact that they become much more lingering (re: clingy) whenever he visits the island.. Something he's trying to do much more often these days due to the increasing amount of people living there now. Since when did he become so popular?
Then there's Pēnelópeia from the Greater Athens, who ran away from home and joined his Island after he ran into her while she was being chased by Skulker -- and he's pretty sure the reason was because of her chimeric appearance. Her strange eyes and mismatched wings and lion's tail and talons. She assimilates into his friend group very easily, she gets along well with Ambroise and Trixie and Danny usually finds the three of them climbing the trees to pluck the most fruit from the top. They can fly and he knows it, but they prefer to climb.
Then finally there's silent poet Akkara who comes from ancient mesopotamia, who gets along most with Aki -- which is no surprise there considering their similar personality dispositions. he watches Aki and Danyal fight each other and leaves comments on this or that that he notices. He writes Danyal poems on clay tablets and leaves them by his room.
They're one big mismatched group of outcasts, and Danny's got the other ghosts on his island to tend to, because they're living on his island and he wants to be hospitable even if he struggles with that. But he spends the most of his time with them.
Sam and Tucker are making fun of him. Tucker jokingly tells him 'careful Danny, at this rate you're gonna start a cult'. Danny really wishes he had taken that joke more seriously.
He just. keeps. collecting people. Wayward souls lost in the zone, looking for shelter or refuge from something or other -- whether that be another hostile ghost, or a past afterlife, or just a purpose. Danyal finds them, he takes them in, offers them a place on his island until they are ready to leave. Many seldom do. He's not complaining -- he has the space, and it feels like it's only ever growing.
His close friends, his "inner circle" as he's heard the others call them, keep insistently calling him "my moon". He starts calling them his stars, because then it only feels fair. They're his stars, this is his constellation. It becomes a thing; little star halos begin forming behind their heads, picking them out from the rest. He loves them so much, it's hard to place. Sam and Tucker are also his stars, but they reside in the living realm, they're his tie to Life. Meanwhile, his friends here know what it's like to be dead, and sometimes its nice to relate.
Those living on his island keep calling him "Great One" and he's beginning to notice zealotry in their care for his island. He really, deeply appreciates it. His close friends gain nicknames -- as his stars, it's only natural for him to pick them out from the cluster in the skies. Akihiko, his Sirius and bright star. Trix and Missy, Castor and Pollux, the twins and troublemakers. Ambroise, his zealous Antares and close friend. Penelopeia, chimeric and loyal Vega. And Akkara, his Arcturus and strength.
It's ridiculous how long it takes for him to notice; he is, of course, a deadly trained assassin. He is meant to be observant -- and normally he is! But somehow this becomes a blind spot. One that becomes too big to be dealt with by the time he realizes it.
He should've noticed when Aki, his Sirius, stood beside him one day while Danyal looked over his island and saw the sprawling spirits carrying on about their afterlife and bowing to him as they saw him, and said: "I looked down into the depths when I met you; I couldn't measure it." They aren't one for flowing prose, it took him so off guard he was silent for over a minute before he finally spoke.
Danyal should've recognized devotion for what it is, and yet he didn't. He should've recognized it when Antares began spouting praises about him, crowing about his radiance and resplendence to the heavens. He just brushed it off as Ambroise being Ambroise. He should've recognized it when Trix and Missy nearly broke Dash's leg after he knocked Danyal's books out of his hands, he excused it as them being protective. Of them coming from times where such violence may have been customary -- after all, that's what he used to be like. What he was still like, sometimes, when his emotions nearly got the better of him.
He should've noticed it when the people living on his island followed his word like gospel, looked at him like he hung the stars in the sky. When his friends gifted him a shawl with the moon phases delicately embroidered into it, with silver, shimmering thread and moving stars lovingly stitched into it. Their constellations seen clear as day in the dark fabric. When he found small shrines dedicated to him -- but they lacked any image of him beyond stones carved to look like moons, so he ignored it. When the religious imagery began popping up.
He really, really should've noticed it when a bunch of cultists accidentally summoned Antares, and Antares had turned to him when he arrived and called them heretics. But he was so centered on the fact that they had kidnapped one of his stars, that he hadn't paid much attention to what Ambroise had said.
Sages say that faith is blind, they should also say faith in you is even blinder.
It really only hits him one afternoon while he's sitting in Sam's room studying with Tucker, Missy and Trixie lounging at his feet, Aki sat on his right, Penelopeia braiding his hair, Ambroise draped against him, and Akkara lurking over him. Its one of the rare few times they're all in one room together.
It hits him like a bolt of lightning. He looks up from his textbook. "Oh Ancients," he says in no amounting shock. Everyone looks up to him.
"I've become my grandfather."
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#danyal al ghul au#dpxdc au#dp x dc au#dpxdc prompt#ive been playing cult of the lamb recently and you can tell#anyways i thought this was funny to think about. its specifically danyal al ghul bc that makes it even funnier#tfw you accidentally become a cult leader. rip to you danny you have a cult following#not at ALL an accurate depiction of a cult but i still think its funny. innaccurate cult depictions. ur in too deep to change it now danno#sam and tucker: hey dude... this is a cult | danny still learning how to People: what. no. these are all my friends and refugees.#his inner circle are all Insane about him they just show it in different ways. Sirius is as equally zealous as the rest they just don't#show it as much. which has mistakenly convinced danyal that they are the more logical one. no danny. they would kill for you#danny: i am being hospitable | sam: you created a cult | danny: i am being hosPITABLE#i dont like ghost king aus but i love danny being in positions of power it just has to feel earned. 'accidental kingdom acquisition' is my#favorite trope it just has to be done correctly. 🫵 build that bitch up with your bare hands and not realize until its too late you fool#'becoming a world power by accident and im in too deep to back out now'#danyal. a raised assassin (has no threshold for normal behavior): *sees utter devotion towards him* yeah this is fine and normal.#danyal: yk i dont see this ending horribly. *goes and collects more followers* yeah this is totally cool. welcome to the constellation#danyal: *saves a few people and houses them in his lair* (everyone liked that [to a worrying degree actually])#his inner circle: my moon! | danny: my stars :]#danny: ive become my grandfather. | danny: ... | danny: idk how to feel about that honestly.#those poor cultists that kidnapped antares were subjected to a 3hr tangent about 'the radiance of the Moon and his resplendent generosity'#before danyal found him and got him home. who were the cultists summoning? who knows! but they got Objectively the Worst out of the#constellation to summon by accident. actually they're all bad there's no picking who. they're all various amounts of Unhinged Danny just#Never Realizes It because he is also Unhinged and thinks some of this shit is normal.#like yeah thats totally normal behavior he has no questions whatsoever. this seems like Typical People Stuff.
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Hi, just wanted to share a funny thing that just happened.
So, my parents have been giving me this "You have to be careful who you decide to date because you don't know if one day they're going to murder you," talk, and it's been a thing they bring up every once in a while since I was like 8. (For context, I'm early 20s. I've never dated anyone and am not looking to date anyone right now. I'm not aro, but I am probably somewhere on the ace-spectrum.)
Most of the time, i just get stuck in a 10-20min unskippable cutscene where I just have to wait for them to finish or change the subject (bit difficult when they're feeding off each other's points).
This time, my parents have somehow ended up finishing the conversation with "actually... maybe you shouldn't date anyone. You know what, you can always raise your brother's future children if you want a kid."
And I know they didn't mean it this way (it was probably meant to be "help raise"), but it sounds like they want me to steal the possible future child. It feels like I am being set up as the secret villain who had stolen the protagonist/important character and raised them to betray and overthrow the kingdom.
If my parents never bring up this type of conversation again, this is the funniest way to end it. It'll be something that is seen in dramatic flashbacks about my path to villainy
I mean
“not if I kill them first” is a pretty solid response, but seeing as they suspect you will want kids you do have the option of suggesting the non-dating alternative path of unprotected one night stands
#Legit though were your parents murdered by bad dates in 1974 or#Cause that is such a strange and specific fear#That is not normal#And your BROTHER is fine?#Do they not give a shit about him or do they just think you’re extra murderable#Unrelated but I had an auntie who didn’t want to date but still wanted to be a mom so she drove out of town and found a dude at a bar#To be fair she told him the plan and he agreed to be the donor so it all worked out
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'some zoos pair their cheetahs up with dogs' is one of the worst things to have ever blown up on tumblr
#people are woobifying cheetahs now. actually they have been for years but i've been seeing it a lot recently#“cheetahs aren't actually big cats!” big cats are paraphyletic group; yes they are#“cheetahs are too nervous to breed with each other and that's why they're going extinct”#cheetahs in the wild can breed just fine#nervousness resulting in reluctance to breed is an issue with specific individual captive cheetahs not all cheetahs ever#“they get service dogs” they're not service dogs#“cheetahs have anxiety” cheetahs can't get anxiety; they're animals#the “cheetahs aren't big cats” thing screws with me the most because people always try to define “big cat” as “cat that can roar”#and then they make that synonymous with the panthera genus and say that only panthera cats are big cats because all of the panthera cats#are the only cats that can roar#but by their own definition they are wrong#because snow leopards are panthera and can't roar
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“things were so hard with dad in recent years...how did he go from paparapluie to père? i wish i could face him and understand, but while he was still here i didn't dare try to tell him [any of my feelings] and now...it's too late.” * paparapluie is a pun on the words papa and parapluie (umbrella) since the plush is a frog. père is the french word for 'father.'
#ml spoilers#ml s6 spoilers#miraculous spoilers#ml el toro de piedra#mledit#miraculous#miraculous ladybug#miraculous lb#miraculousedit#adrien agreste#adrienette#adrinette#my edits#fascinated at umbrellas constantly being a motif for protection in this show. the theme is “in the rain” because marinette fell for adrien#in the rain but he offered her an umbrella (an act of kindness and protection from the weather). next to how#adrien's father used a pun about umbrellas as his own nickname when adrien was younger and he was still caring for him as a dad should#but as he got older his father stopped protecting him so the nickname (and also any form of 'papa') fell through in favor of the#cold + formal + distant 'père.' this specific pun between parapluie and papa might also come from the french poem un papa by pierre ruaud#which is a poem about papas serving as protection and a sort of shelter for their children. so ig ml is saying gabriel started this way too#i think the fandom glosses over the complexity of adrien's feelings for his father bc in earlier seasons he defended + made excuses for him#part of this is because he was sheltered + didn't know better but it's also bc he DOES recall a time before his mother's illness grew worse#(some time between age 6 and the werepapas flashback) when he didn't have an absentee father. the show writes gabriel agreste#inconsistently: in earlier seasons he had moments of concern for his son before he became awful all the time. and these on/off moments give#adrien whiplash because he's left doing things like becoming a model for his father (i'm choosing to believe gabriel didn't use the rings#until later bc much of the earlier seasons make no sense if he was controlling adrien) in the hopes that they'll bond only to realize#his father still won't spend time with him even for a meal. s5 has gabriel making him pancakes (the wrong way) and asking about his day#and his friends and interests only for him to become even more controlling and mean. how he let him quit modeling only to create an#AI version of him without his consent and when he said that made him feel uncomfortable gabriel convinced him it was fine bc now he had#more free time! only to still control how he spent that free time. adrien didn't start grappling with these things until s5#and now he laments the things he never actually got to say about the papa he misses and the father he wished had unconditionally loved him
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#squidgamegif#squidgameedit#squid game#hwang in ho#look at this dramatic ass emo mf giving blue steel to his own reflection#what is he THINKING whats going on in his mind crack it open and show me please i need to know i need to dissect him like a frog#shoutout to hooptedoodley for pointing out how fine lbh looks in this scene this is not something i specifically noticed before but OMG?#balgif
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i feel like harrow would be like, on some site like neopets or flight rising and just have the game’s marketplace in her pocket. just a fucking, billionaire tycoon on some low stakes virtual pet game. blows off steam manipulating the economy and fine tuning her creatures to be Perfectly Goth with the same account she had since she was 10 named xXgl00m_m1str3ssXx
yes she is using gideons gaming chair and headphones
#tlt#crandairy art#tlt art#harrowhark nonagesimus#modern tlt au#the locked tomb#also say hi to alecto the cat#i dont know as much about neopets since i was a webkinz kid but i Do know a lot abt fligt rising#she would have All of the familiars and the most fine tuned beautiful dragons youve ever scene. tastefully decked out in clothing#im guessing shed be in the shadow clan tbh to get the vibes. But she would rent out nests for eye color strains#specifically the light clan for their gold eyed dragons. talk to me abt flight rising
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so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.
first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.
it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.
and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.
you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.
and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.
your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.
in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.
in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.
so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.
you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.
once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.
and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"
you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?
hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!
you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.
we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?
#where's the word woman in this u might wonder if u suck#good news i am nonbinary and have a uterus so that is something that can happen#im also gender fluid tho which means im immune to certain psychic damage bc if u call me a woman i'll be like <3 okay <3#writeblr#the tightrope of ''ppl need access to this''#and like also#''what the fuck is going on over there'' is like. so difficult as an activist#i was <3 punctured <3 during mine#and almost bled out on the table :) they didn't have anyone standing by bc it's ''just a little insertion''#so i started crashing and i vaguely remember apologizing for the fuss as i heard my heart rate monitor start going <3 tachycardic <3#she wasn't even a bad doctor tbh#ps btw the reason i even HAD a heart monitor is that i have a genuine heart condition and they knew GOING IN that there was a chance#i'd crash on the table#like my heart just likes to do fun little tricks and <3 stop working <3 (i do not want to discuss the specifics ty i am okay im ontop of it#and they were like 'oh u will be fine' and then she did do a puncture thru my uterus . pop!#and im sitting there dizzy and feeling my heartrate start to drop bc it feels almost. beautiful. like. the whole ground just#woosh! out from under you. and shit is like grey's anatomy. i'm looking up at her grey eyes#she's old she wears this nice shawl she's like got Cool Lesbian vibes and people are sprinting into the room#from other parts of the clinic unrelated to me. while the monitor is like a little aria singing#and shes like hey youre okay stay awake stay with me something went wrong we have to keep trying#and i remember thinking - i was trying to think of nice things. i have so many beautiful places that now overlap#with this terrible memory#i became dimly aware that there was too much on her wrists and hands. like#that was too many liters#and then when they had finished all this. i packed up and drove myself home#i have had (bad thing) happen to me. and the same feeling happened after#that numb almost lamblike bleating. you cry without noise. like. ur body is so shocked and ur mind so empty#you just stare at the road and everything everything is happening behind glass and static and you are standing so far away from it#while you hold ur hands at 10 and 2. and something in ur brain is SCREAMING at you - IT WAS BAD AND IT SHOULDNT HAVE HAPPENED#and ur just watching the alarms in your body going off and youre thinking. a little pinch! ha. i think i just lost something important.
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