#and last time i did it was the edited script of the first episode form my favorite videogame

[thealmostthursday]

trying to cope so hard and tell myself it’s okay if the rough draft of what i’m writing reads like poop from a butt

[thewinter-eden]

Blood Sugar Virus (7)

CHAPTER SEVEN

Genre: Horror, zombies, strangers to lovers, angst, suspense Pairing: Kang Yeosang x female!reader Warnings: based on the Wanteez Zombie episode, ages are based on current Ateez rather than the time at which the actual episode was filmed, descriptions of violence, fear, and injury, Jin being a zombie, an Ateez member getting hurt.

Story Summary: You (stage name Sugar) are the co-captain of a horror acting group. You and your guys are the ones the companies hire when they want to stage a zombie, ghost, or any vaguely horrific and dystopian episode. So when you get hired by Ateez to develop a zombie program, it's just another routine that you've done a million times. Everything's going exactly according to script--until suddenly it isn't, and it starts getting a little too real.

< last chapter | masterlist | next chapter >

Upstairs, San and Yunho have made their way into classroom 2-2 without any incidents from the first Fever Time.

The moment they close themselves inside, the first hint of their puzzle presents itself in the form of two people in high school uniforms tied to folding chairs in the middle of the room.

Yunho stops and stares, the reveal completely unexpected. The students are familiar from the orientation files that Sugar and Namjoon gave to Hongjoong, but he can’t place their names. They’re both wearing nametags but he’s not close enough to read them.

“One of the students is infected.” San reads the manic scribbling on the chalkboard. “Rescue the one who isn’t.”

When he speaks, both students look up abruptly and begin to push against the ropes that bind them. Both of them speak over each other, pleading for escape, pleading their cases, insisting on their health.

“Well, shit.” Yunho mutters.

San elbows him, pointing meaningfully at the cameras.

“They’re not live.” Yunho elbows him back. “They can fucking edit out every fucking expletive I decide to fucking use.”

Rolling his eyes, San moves slowly towards the two desperately begging high school students. He leans forward, squinting through the dim light. “Jennie and Jungkook?” He crouches down and smiles politely at both of them. “What happened here? Who tied you up?”

“He’s infected!” Jennie shrieks, whipping her head towards Jungkook.

He rolls his eyes and kicks at her chair. “No, I drank the cure. She’s infected. Don’t believe her, don’t listen to her. I’m the clean one, please, you have to let me loose.”

“As if! He’s turning into a zombie! Look at his eyes—we don’t have much time, please he’s turning.” Jennie cries, tears coming to her eyes.

“Oh, sure, she’s crying. ‘Cause that’s fair.” Jungkook grumbles.

San edges even closer to follow her suggestion and peer into Jungkook’s eyes, but Yunho yanks him back by the shoulder. “Don’t get close, dummy, we don’t know which one is infected.”

“Please.” Jennie sobs. “Please, I promise I’m clean. I don’t want to be here when he turns, please. We have to find my friend. She could be hurt. We have to find her. Please.”

“Who is your friend?” San asks, flinching as Fever Time concludes with a sudden silence that falls with the weight of a hammer blow.

“Her name is Rosé.” Jennie sniffles. “Last time I saw her the professor had her. She’s in trouble, please, we have to rescue her.”

“Rosé is my friend, and so is another girl—we call her Sugar. Have you seen her? Either of them? Last time I saw them they were both okay and I would really like to find them before something happens to them.” Jungkook argues. He tugs against his restraints, kicking at Jennie’s chair again. “Please, guys, you gotta help. They’re my friends. If anything happens to them…” He breaks off as Jennie gives a loud grumble of frustration. “If anything happens to them I’ll burn this whole school down. Please. I’m really worried.”

“What happened?” Yunho asks again. “How did the two of you get tied up here? Who did this to you?”

“The professor.” Jungkook snaps. “Dr. Kim Namjoon. He tied us up and left us here.”

“Why would he do that? Why would he tie up a clean person with an infected person?” San asks.

“Because he’s a sadistic psychopath.” Jennie spits. “He wants to see how long it takes him to turn, and how strong he is once he does—if he can eat me without someone helping him out of his restraints. All in the name of science.”

“Yeah,” Jungkook shoots back. “And if you leave me here and take her, you’re gonna find out for yourselves how long it takes a zombie to turn on you and eat you. Come on, guys, please. I have to find my friends.”

Yunho pulls San back towards the front of the room. “Wait a second. Don’t you have a bottle of the cure?”

San digs in his pocket and produces a little bottle filled with blue liquid.

Yunho pulls one out of his own pocket. “So do I.” He pauses, thinking, and then takes a deep breath. “What if we give them both the cure just to be safe and rescue both of them?”

Practically punching the air, San high fives his hyung excitedly. “Yes!” He’s whisper-shouting. “What if this is the actual puzzle? Figuring out we can save both of them? Yes, hyung, genius!” He pops the cork out of the tiny bottle and turns back to the bickering students.

“We can save you both.” Yunho says. “We have enough cure for both of you.”

Jungkook spreads his hands with some difficulty. “Okay. Sure. You have to untie us so we can drink it though.”

San glances at Yunho. “Or we can give it to them.”

Nodding, Yunho pockets his cure. “I’ll make sure you don’t get bit. Just in case.” He positions himself behind Jennie and cups her chin in one hand. “Ready?”

San nods, and Jennie lets him tip the blue contents into her mouth. To be sure, Yunho holds her jaw closed until she swallows.

Jennie cringes as the liquid goes down, shivering and coughing. “Okay. Weird flavor, but I swallowed it. Untie me now?”

“Wait.” Yunho moves to Jungkook, handing San his cure before repeating his hold on the bound man’s chin. Jungkook struggles a little under his grip, but swallows the cure with the same uncomfortable shuddering.

“We can untie them now, right?” San reaches for Jennie’s ropes.

“Yeah. Let’s get them out of here.” Yunho begins pulling Jungkook free with a smug smirk. “I bet we’re the first team to solve our puzzle. Take that, Jongho.”

YOU

You’re frozen, halfway through realizing you can’t actually pull your shirt off by yourself anyway. “Jin?”

“Jin’s here?” Yeosang’s voice comes from behind the supply room door. “Can I come out?”

You open it for him, still fully clothed in your grimy uniform. “I can hear him outside.” With Yeosang behind you, you move to the classroom door. “Jin? The game’s over. We called it off.”

No response.

You swallow the lump in your throat and try again, louder. “Kim Seokjin.” Your shaky voice seems to bounce off the walls and twists your stomach into knots. “The program got cancelled. Are you okay?”

A few seconds pass in silence.

Yeosang glances at you. “Maybe he left?”

But then you hear it—shoes scuffing the floor just outside.

Pressing your hand to the door, you lean in closer. “Hey!” You’re so nervous your legs are shaking. “Look, it’s okay. It’s okay if you just got carried away, alright? It’s alright. I’m fine.”

Nothing.

“Say something, Jin. We’ll be okay, we can scrub the footage and deal with this, just us. Just inside the company, okay? No one else will know, it’s not a big deal.”

It is kind of a big deal, but he’s your friend. He’s one of your best friends. You’re not going to tank his career if he’s sick or if he just got swept up.

He’s done dumb things before. He’s sprained your wrist by pulling you too hard during a ghost program, he bruised your hip so bad it ached for a month when he accidentally pushed you into a table during a vampire program—he’s famous for being overzealous.

You know this about him, you know he’s going to beat himself up for hurting you, just like he always does.

“Jinnie, I’m okay. I swear. Look.” You put your good shoulder to the door and push it open, ignoring the way Yeosang anxiously shifts next to you.

The door grinds against its tracks as it moves away, revealing your oldest teammate.

He’s just standing there, his head bowed and shoulders slumped. When the door creaks, he flinches, fists clenching.

“Jinnie, talk to me.” You step towards him. “Oppa, look at me.”

At your voice, Jin’s head snaps up.

Yeosang’s hand clamps around your elbow. “I don’t think—“

Before he can finish his sentence, Jin lunges at you.

He plows into you, knocking you off your feet. You hit the ground hard under him and the air crashes out of your lungs.

“Oh god.” Yeosang is scrambling after you, his feet visible in your peripheral.

Somehow managing to get your hands braced against your friend’s chest, you’re pushing, wheezing with panic. He’s scrabbling on top of you, grunts and growls hitting your ears, his bloody mouth grasping for you.

“Jin!” You’re getting your breath back, fighting him with all your strength but he’s not letting up. “Jin, stop!”

He’s not stopping. He’s not hearing you. His hands grip your shoulders, one of them digging into the bite wound he’s already inflicted on you.

Kicking under him, flailing with manic desperation you’ve never known before, you feel the panic start to sink in. “Jin! Jin, please!”

His mouth touches your cheek and you scream, terror in every ounce of your blood. You can’t work yourself back on your elbows because the moment you unlock your arms he’ll be on you and you don’t know what he’ll do to you.

You do know.

He’s already done it.

Suddenly you’re not screaming for him, you’re screaming for Yeosang. “Help me! Please, god, Yeosang help me!”

He’s already trying, already working his arms around the trunk of your friend’s body. “Hold on,” he tells you, his voice a broken calm. “Don’t let go yet, hold on.” He’s fighting Jin’s animalistic thrashing, trying to lock his hands around the bigger man’s chest.

You’re trying, but you’re not as strong as the body on top of you.

Jin’s chin knocks against your right eye so hard you almost drop your arms, but then his teeth graze your ear and you’re kicking at him all over again.

It’s the worst moment of your life. You’ve never felt so paralyzed by fear and wild with panic at the same time, but it feels like your heart is exploding in your chest. “No, Jin, get off. Please, let me go!”

Yeosang finally catches hold. “I’ve got him.”

In the next second you’re free, twisting around to your belly and scrambling away as Yeosang hefts Jin off of you, clutching him to his chest. He wrestles him away from you, barely managing to keep his feet beneath him. “Get the door! Sugar, get the door!”

And then somehow you’re standing, running towards the supply room where you’d just retrieved your bag. Shaking so violently you miss the doorknob on the first try, you hear yourself crying.

Still locked in Yeosang’s grasp, Jin’s hands hit your back, clawing for purchase. It’s enough to give you clarity. You yank the door open and thrust yourself out of the way as Yeosang pushes past you. Jin is putting up the fight of his life, planting his feet and lunging for you, but Yeosang wrenches him to the side and manages to knock him off balance long enough to change his grip.

Finding courage somewhere deep inside you, you jump in to grab Jin’s right side and help your client shove him into the closet, sending him sprawling to the floor. Before he can flip himself around, you slam the door shut and fall back as Yeosang shoves the heavy teacher’s desk in front of it. “We have to wedge the knob.”

You don’t know if he’s talking to you or himself, but it doesn’t make a difference. You can’t move. You can’t breathe.

“Here!” A new voice sounds to your left and suddenly Wooyoung is sprinting into the room, jamming the closet door with a step ladder that used to be in the hallway. “I’ve got it. I’ve got it, it’s wedged.”

Both men step away from the door as it rattles beneath the weight of Jin’s attempts to force it open, panting heavily with exertion.

A moment later the door falls still.

“He can’t get through.” Wooyoung says.

There are a few thumps, like Jin is stumbling over the boxes still in the floor, and then silence.

“Okay.” Yeosang breathes. “Okay, we’re good.”

You’re not good.

You’re the farthest thing from good.

You slump against a wall and sag to the floor, your chest heaving. For a minute you think you’re having a heart attack, your pulse slamming so loudly in your ears you think you’ll hear it for the rest of your life.

“Are you okay? You’re bleeding.” You hear Yeosang ask, but you don’t look up.

“Yeah.” Wooyoung responds distantly. “The doors were locked, I couldn’t get out. And there was another one—Taehyung, I think. He caught me before I could break one of the glass doors, but I’m okay. I managed to lock him in the classroom I left you in.”

“What the hell is happening? I mean, this is real, right?”

“Something’s fucking real. The dude tried to chew my arm off. He took a—look at my arm, Yeo, it’s like a dog fucking mauled me. I mean, what the hell?”

“There’s probably another first aid kit in that desk. You gotta clean that up, it’s bleeding all over the place.”

“I’m fine. Look, if this is crazy with two of them, it could be all of them. We gotta find the guys. Right? We gotta go find them.”

“Yeah. Deal with your arm and we’ll go. You made sure Taehyung couldn’t get out?”

“I jammed both doors. Should be good.”

You’re in a haze. Their voices bounce back and forth over your head, their shoes moving in your peripheral, but you can’t think.

A hand touches your knee, and a blood-streaked face appears in front of you. “Hey. Are you okay? Did he get you? Again, I mean, did he get you again?”

It’s Wooyoung’s voice, Wooyoung’s face.

You want to say you’re fine. You can’t feel your hands and your knees are bouncing off of each other, but no words come to your tongue.

“Woo, clean up your arm. I’ve got her.”

The younger man disappears from view and is replaced by the one who helped you barricade one of your best friends into a closet. Yeosang’s face is shining with a sheen of sweat, his hands trembling as they rest on his lap in front of you.

“Sugar.”

There’s blood on your face, the phantom touch of Jin’s chin on your eye socket.

“Hey, you’re gonna think I’m shit for this but I can’t remember your real name.”

Yeosang, the guy who hauled your ass out of the fire four times now, is certainly not shit for failing to remember your name in the most adrenalized moments of your combined lives.

“Alright, Sugar it is.”

You must be in shock.

There’s a tickle on your skin as you realize your bite has received a new rush of fresh blood flow and is now leaking past your hurried bandage and trickling down your front.

“Hey. We’re taking this one step at a time, right? We’re safe. Seokjin is safe. When we know everybody’s okay, we can figure out how to get him okay, too. Alright?”

You feel like a child at his words, but it’s not like you’re faring any better than a frightened child would. You feel yourself nodding slowly, forcing your breaths to come and go with some kind of regular rhythm.

“Are you okay?” Yeosang asks you. “Can you get up?”

“I’m…” you sound like a seasoned smoker, or like you haven’t spoken in ten years. You clear your throat and try again. “I’m okay. Are you?” You blink and he comes into focus. There’s red marks on his clothes, red stains on his arms, but you don’t know if it’s real or if it’s fake blood that rubbed off of Jin’s costume.

“I’m good. I don’t think he even knew I was there.” Yeosang gets his legs under him and holds his hands out to you. “I think he likes you, you’re all he wanted.”

That is not a comfort.

But you’re okay. Yeosang’s okay. Wooyoung is okay.

Jin is…

Jin is something you can’t think about right now.

You can’t think about any of this. This is your program, your nightmare, your team.

It’s your responsibility.

You can be catatonic later.

Gripping Yeosang’s hands and allowing him to pull you shakily to your feet, you promptly let him go and check him over with your own eyes. “But you’re not hurt? No bites or scratches?” You catch sight of wet blood on his wrist and push his sleeve up.

The blood smears, but there’s no wound under the cloth of his shirt.

He’s fine.

“I’m good, no bites or scratches.” He tells you, obviously surprised by your sudden sense of control.

You move away from him to where Wooyoung is struggling to wrap his own arm. There’s a nasty gash in the muscle, and you think you see a flap of skin hanging loose, but you swallow your unease and pretend you hadn’t seen it. “Here.” You take the end of the gauze from him. “Let me.”

Wooyoung’s startled as you take over, and glances over your shoulder at Yeosang.

“You said it was Taehyung? He was like Jin?”

“He was batshit.” Wooyoung says. “Crazy eyes, hell bent on biting me—and once he started he kept going. Like…like he wasn’t biting me, he was eating me.”

“Shit.” Dread settles in your stomach. It’s terror, panic, worry, all balled into one big trauma knot low in your gut, but you’ll deal with it later. “I’m sorry, Wooyoung. I don’t know what’s happening, but I will sort it out. I’ll make sure your group gets out of here. I’ll make sure they’re okay.”

“We will.” Yeosang says from behind you. “It’s not your fault.”

“It’s my team.” You return flatly. “They’re my family. And they’re attacking yours. I’ll make this right.”

< last chapter | masterlist | next chapter >

tag list : @mysterysold @threevracha @igotajuicyass @velvetmoonlght @ramadiiiisme @mrsminseochoi @nightshadeblooming @furfoxsake22

[scoatneyhall]

WILD. Was anyone else aware that the Ted Lasso team has gone in and made post-production edits on season 3 episodes, sometime in the last year?

I've been rewatching the finale in advance of the one year anniversary of it airing, and straight off, I noticed that the points total on the graphic looked different to how I remembered it - a much closer race. It stuck out because I remembered being annoyed that they didn't celebrate the moment Richmond got confirmed for the Champions League, as the gap was big enough for it to have happened a while ago, offscreen. I still have a screencap from when the episode aired:

However, the current copy on Apple has an updated graphic, making the post-production graphic in line with the numbers on the actual physical whiteboard prop and the script mentioning the win streak. See here:

The corrected copy makes Richmond's points match the whiteboard, but it also puts the teams in 3rd to 5th place much closer to them points-total wise, meaning that now, in the current version of the episode, Richmond only qualified for the UCL in "Mom City," making it make more sense that the start of 3.12 is the first time it gets discussed. Would have been nice to mention that stake in the City match commentary during 3.11, but I genuinely am shocked that they went back in and edited the already-published episodes to clean up the post-production errors. For the record, here's the whiteboard as of 3.08: W10, D9, L6.

Just in case anyone cares, the order of those results was - 1 draw against Chelsea, 6 wins with Zava, 1 loss against West Ham, the rest of the draws and losses occurring between 3.05 and the loss against Arsenal in 3.07, and then the 4 wins mentioned at the start of 3.08. By the start of 3.12, it's mentioned they are on a 16 game win streak, so that's 22 wins overall, 9 draws, 6 losses, going into the final weekend, hence the updated graphic.

I like that they went in and fixed it - no idea when in the past 12 months that occured - but I also kind of can't believe they bothered? Then again, I can't believe the mistake was made in the first place, as they were so specific with details in the prior seasons, so maybe they couldn't live with it being wrong.

I know there were rumours about a ton of issues in terms of getting these episodes posted in time - right down to the wire, still fixing the edit on the airdate - and it's clear that these details were not checked and confirmed by the poor people in post who were not working off the show bible that lives in the writers heads. I don't blame them at all, I blame the people who got the edit to them late, but it did annoy me during the season a LOT. The maths wasn't mathing, and as we know this is a show that has been careful with dates and timelines and stuff like that.

Anyway! The point is, a) this post about my UCL qualification fantasies is now moot, and b) I went back and checked another post production error that had REALLY pissed me off, which was the dates of texts in Ted's phone in 3.04. Phone dates have always given us the timeline quite strictly before - it's how @belmottetower and I started the timeline in our primer, with Ted arriving in London on January 6, 2020 and then following the football seasons from there to place the season 3 finale in May 2022 - but in 3.04, all the cute texts we see to all the characters in his phone were badly misdated, placing the timeline further in the future. This caused arguments or misunderstandings, at the time about the actual timeline of the show, but it seems this was another detail the producers really wanted to fix and tighten up, as they've gone back and had it edited.

It's weird, because the texts Ted was actually going back to - the messages from Doctor Jacob - were dated correctly as late 2019, and there's even a little easter egg in the form of a US rideshare notification picking him up to go to the airport in America, on 5 January 2020. (Even the area code, 316, is apparently correct to Kansas.) That's all correct even in the original version of the episode, but somehow we then skip a year and place his most recent texts, as of 3.04, in late October 2022, when they should only be in late September or early October 2021. (I found this post on Reddit that screenshotted his phone at the time.) Examples:

I had to go back and check this, and sure enough, it's been edited to reflect the established timeline - they didn't just redate the year on each message, they also changed a bunch of the chats to be more recent - so rather than dates, his most recent chats with Henry, the Coaches, etc are from "Yesterday," then the first dated texts are in very late September 2021. This matches up pretty perfectly with where they are in a typical Premier League season - they REALLY cleaned it up. Further back, they do just switch the years on the dates, so he still got a picture from Sassy last Valentines Day, and his last one-on-one contact with Jamie is still set before the events of Wembley in 2.08 (FA Cup semi finals are in April, so a few weeks after the March 2021 date on Jamie's chat.)

My brain is itching because I swear there was a screen of Nate and Ted's text chat at some point too? With Ted reaching out about his new job, on a date that deeply did not work with the timeline? But maybe I imagined it. There's no record of Nate's number in his phone at all now, and the texts date back to before Nate left, so I guess in this version of events, Ted deleted Nate's number and message history.

Anyway, I'm aware that basically no one is going to care about this, but I suspect that the three people who will actually care will REALLY FUCKING CARE. Has anyone else noticed it? Does anyone know when it may have happened? Does anyone know what else might have been changed or fixed? I love details and I love the fact that there is no longer conflicting data about what football seasons the show is covering - it's mid 19/20 to the end of 21/22, end of story - but what a fucking mess the production of season 3 must have been, to end up at this point!

[pink-onyx-au]

Community Translation Campaign

All who help will be credited in the final results.

So many people have offered to help that I just had to come up with an idea to make it easier on everyone, even to offer ways to work together. So, here is the plan!

The English for the episode is posted here, in order, for you to read. State which language you’re using, and donate as many words as you like to the project! When a language has a complete translation and is double-checked, I can take care of the editing. Thank you to everyone! 🧡💕❤️

Words to clarify intention or clarity in the statement that were not said within the dialog of the comic will be presented (like this) to better help translations. Any questions, just post and I will get back to you as best as I can!

Episode 1 - Antipathy (English Script)

If it matters in your language, Steven is masculine-form grammar. Jasper is feminine-form grammar. The Diamonds (not Steven) are feminine-form grammar.

Steven: No. I’m sorry. Where is- Jasper, I (‘m sorry) I can’t find (her) It has to be here. It is here somewhere. I have been holding (myself) back!

I have to do something about this.

Steven: Jasper. Please. I want to talk

Jasper. What is it, my diamond?

Steven: Please! I just want to talk. As equals. Please…

Jasper: In order to do that, you’ll have to get on the dirt (or ground). Now that you’re down here with the dust, what do you want to talk about?

Steven: I can’t sleep. So much has happened since- my meltdown. Everyone is hovering over me every hour of the day, but, I need to apologize for how I acted that day. You were just trying to help me, and I did the worst possible thing (to you).

Jasper: I told you before, don’t apologize!

Steven: Why?

Jasper: I wanted to see the full extent of your power, and I got my answer. You let yourself go. That’s what I wanted.

Steven; But jasper, I- (shattered you)

Jasper: Shattered me? Why does that bother you?

Steven: Why doesn’t it bother you

Jasper: Soldiers are shattered (killed) all the time, Steven. It’s why we are made. To win, and replace. That’s why the one thing I don’t understand - is why you brought me back (revived me) after you got what you wanted.

Steven: "What I wanted!?" I- I didn’t want to shatter you! It was a mistake!

Jasper: The moment a gem is permitted to act to their fullest is when they show what they really want. It is absolute. From pebble to diamond

You may say you didn’t want to shatter me, but based on the look in your eyes, something did.

Steven: I-I don’t know what that was! I mean, I do now but I-

Jasper: You don’t understand it, so you came here. Just like last time. Why do you keep coming back here to find answers? That the only thing I’m good for to you? Told me yourself you want to high to do with me otherwise.

Steven: No! No. It’s not that. You’re… just the furthest thing from what I know about my world. And you act like that’s normal for you. So when nothing in my world makes sense, it just makes sense to come here.

Jasper: Well, at least we agree on one thing.

Steven: What do you mean?

Jasper: My world doesn’t make any sense to me anymore, either. Nothing my diamond has done makes sense to me anymore. Start a colony just to preserve it? Start a war just to lose it? Die to become(be reborn) as you? I was made to win a gem-war for a diamond with power so destructive that the other diamonds hesitated to give her a colony in the first place. A diamond with so much strength that a word from her could shatter. The closest you ever came to making sense to me is the day you finally cut loose. Then, like everything else, your colony, your court, your status, your form, you tossed me aside and moved onto the next thing. Told me to ‘find something better to do with my life’ when my whole life has been fighting for you, my diamond.

Steven: Jasper I-I’m, I’m sorry

Jasper: Stars ("god";swear form), shut up with that! You did what you wanted every second you’ve been out of the dirt!even this human form! Even being here right now! Until you get that, this conversation is going to be a waste of both of our time!

Steven: I-I just.. I’ve done such a horrible thing, and I can’t sleep because it keeps replaying, and each time I see it, it scares me to death because I hate how good it feels.

Jasper: Come (with me). If you’re going to start this, then we’re doing it out here. I don’t want me den destroyed. Listen carefully, Steven. Is this what you want?

Steven: No.

Jasper: Then focus on what you want.

Steven: I don’t want to hurt you

Jasper: Then calm down!

Steven: Sorry. How are you okay with what I did to you?

Jasper: Honestly, Steven, I don’t know why you aren’t (okay with it). I don’t throw a punch without intent to hit something. Let alone regret it after the fact. You’re just going to have to live with the idea that we will not understand one another.

Steven: I want to though! That- that is what I want.

Jasper: And how do you intend to get that? by coming here and begging for answers I don’t have?

Steven: Maybe there is a way, but, I-I have a way. That we can both get answers. If you want answers. Also.

Jasper: Go on.

Steven: Maybe if we feel what it’s like to be each other

Jasper: What are you implying?

Steven; Ah, I’m implying! That we could fuse, if you wanted to do that. Too. Maybe?

Jasper: That was the most pathetic request to fuse I’ve ever heard. I am not fusing with someone who whimpers like some under-cooked pebble. So, if that’s what you really want, show me you have the guts to take it!

Steven: Fine, jasper. Then, As your Diamond: Fuse with me

Jasper: Much better!

Jasper: Should have known you were full of dirt ("shit";swear)

Steven: I don’t know what happened. I’m usually good at (doing) this.

Jasper: You ran (away)!

Steven: No I, I think something poofed us.

Jasper: Well, it wasn’t me! So, whatever that was and to come from you!

Steven: It’s going to be ok. We do this together next time.

Steven: I have an idea but, I need some time to prepare. I’ll be back tomorrow right at dusk. It will give us the whole night.

Jasper: You’re kidding me. You issued a diamond-order and now you’re leaving me behind again? Seriously?

Steven: I know. I’m sorry. One last time, then I’ll make sure this works. I promise.

[guster-animations]

Kamen Rider Gavv Episode 36 Production Blog

i know this person who said shoma would be a trans allegory before gavv even started. they were also the person who donated as “kamen rider” on saltydkdan’s first ribbit stream which i watched live and i didn’t find out it was them until months later

TOKU TRANSLATION MASTERPOST HERE

translated from this website

Looking at the Next Episode

The Master and Over forms have arrived. It was interesting action that you couldn’t take your eyes off of! The duo of Director Sugihara and Action Director Fujita is the strongest of them all. It was a treasure trove of ideas.

During a meeting to discuss power-up forms, it came up that a gummy final form was alright, but felt unsatisfying… So we did a two-form power-up, similar to Kamen Rider Agito’s Burning and Shining forms, or Kamen Rider Geiz Revive Fury and Typhoon. Then, Bandai came up with the idea of a jar that gets flipped upside down. The face that appears is like a trompe l’œil optical illusion. The material is also particularly jelly-like. For those who like holding the Gochipod, please enjoy how it feels.

To be honest, these two forms look completely different, but they use the same undersuit, components, and shape. They contain many clever design ideas. It’s interesting when you compare them. Please look forward to their use from here on out. We’re also grateful to the Toei Tokusatsu Fan Club members who cooperated with us over long filming sessions for episode 36. It took on that look (of being super-crowded) after editing. The things filmed around the venue are connected in many places.

And then next week will be… a Japanese confectionery rush. A request to restore a Japanese confectionery shop. A premonition of a Gochizo’s birth. And someone that Hanto comes across… Someone he couldn’t have forgotten even for a moment. It will be delivered by Nobuhiro Mouri as its writer, and Satoshi Morota as its director. After the power-up comes Hanto’s destined opponent. In addition, Vram’s broken belt and Jiip’s slow-moving, magma-like thoughts will also be of interest. “Gavv’s” story won’t slow down. Please keep watching next week!

(Written by Naomi Takebe)

The Episode in Short

Thank you for watching episode 36! Continuing from the last episode, it’s directed by Teruaki Sugihara! Director Sugihara was last responsible for Valen’s power-up arc in episodes 27 and 28, but this time, he was in charge of an episode where a new Gavv form appears.

Last time, Director Sugihara poured his heart and soul into filming the final battle between Hanto and Suga, but this time, he captured the protagonist Shoma’s conflict and determination.

Sugihara has watched over the cast since the pilot episode. Let’s look back at episode 36, which he put all of his energy into creating!

“U.M.A.”, Attacked

“U.M.A. (Ultimate Music Achievers)”, the talk of the town, who had their music video released exclusively on TTFC last episode. The lovely folks at the art department made plenty of fan merch (props) for them. The fans saying “Only horses are winners”, “Neigh with us”, and et cetera certainly make one curious about the full story of this band (Laugh).

Rittsun is such a big fan of them that she brings a horse mask. 🐴 By the way, the orange outfit that Rittsun was wearing is the color of carrots, a horse’s staple food (Laugh).

Since this is a very important episode containing Gavv’s power-up and a showdown with Lango, the script for this Sugihara arc was also created with an aim for visual richness.

Last episode, there were the settings of an “airplane interior” and “airport”, but this time, it’s a “U.M.A.” concert venue!

The concert’s audience was played by TTFC members! We asked them to bring homemade fan merch and glow sticks. Thank you to everybody who prepared their own support merchandise that show their personality! I’m sure there were many people baffled by the part in the outline sent to the members who won the raffle that said to “please come with carrot-themed props” (Laugh).

The filming session was time-consuming and started early in the morning, but we thank everyone for their support!

They were also greeted by Director Sugihara and cast members like Chinen.

A lot was written about U.M.A. in the last episode’s “The Episode in Short” section as well, but there’s one more behind-the-scenes story.

Since not many people are able to perform with musical instruments while wearing horse masks, it was very difficult to cast the members of “U.M.A.”

The person who then came to help us was [Fumiki] Yoshikawa, the assistant producer for the show airing alongside Gavv at that time, “Bakuage Sentai Boonboomger”. AP Yoshikawa’s childhood friend Hayato Sagawa accepted the role of the dapple-gray Shige (drummer), and then invited his neighborhood bandmates to make up the rest of “U.M.A.”!

You should definitely check out the music of Hayato Sagawa— along with Crab Kani Club, who provided the song used in this episode!

Ruler of Snacks, Master Gavv

In episode 36, Shoma’s actor Hidekazu Chinen had plenty of scenes to show off in, but even among those, his one-on-one scene with Lango’s actor Takashi Tsukamoto is an especially important one.

It’s a scene where Shoma shows his determination, with all of the experiences he’s had up to now as encouragement. Chinen showed a look brimming with the confidence he’s developed, one which only Director Sugihara, who has seen the cast grow since episode 1, could have filmed.

Audio commentary with Chinen, Tsukamoto, and Director Sugihara is currently available on TTFC, so please give that a listen!

The Gochipod has the words “OVER” and “MASTER” engraved into it. As the item that brings out the power of the strongest Gavv, the meeting on the Gochipod’s toy design reached the pinnacle of difficulty. During that, Bandai came up with the idea of two-way use that alternates between the powerful “Over Mode” and the smart “Master Mode”, which is innovative for both play and design.

When the Gochipod opens, an “up-and-down image” design appears, making it an excellent item that can be enjoyed in two ways at once!

“Kamen Rider Gavv Master Mode” was revealed for the first time in this episode. Contrasting against the impactful “Over Mode”, it has an elegant design that’s reminiscent of the PoppinGummy form, bringing it full circle. It truly is a fitting name to crown the “strongest Gavv” with!

From Action Director Fujita’s idea, Master Mode is a form with super-speed in order to make up for the weak point of Over Mode, which specializes in the power of finishing opponents in a single blow. Lango is crushed with this blink-of-an-eye speed in episode 36 as well.

Furthermore, it is also powerful to make the best of each mode’s strong points while alternating between “Master” and “Over” during the battle! It was truly exhilarating to see the fight play out while switching between the two forms!

“Gavv” has been a Granute-human hybrid from the beginning, and the forward-bent posture which incorporates a “wild flavor” into the action has become characteristic of it, but Director Sugihara had the idea to have him bend even further down, creating a striking pose that feels even more wild.

Furthermore, as the name “Master” suggests, the form has the power to rule over all snacks, and so it also has the ability to produce previously seen items like the “Chocodan Gun” and the “Zakuzaku ChipSlasher”!

The weapons’ abilities are well-balanced between short- and long-distance range. It’s an all-purpose style of fighting while summoning various strengths! Truly a “Master”!

The free-moving camerawork special to the duo of Director Sugihara and Action Director Fujita, and the action which makes maximum use of the complicated location sites, were a series of surprises.

There were also scenes that were shown with Kamen Riders filmed on a green-screen and backgrounds filmed with a 360 camera and then edited in, but there were also many shots that were large-scale even for the cinematographers, filming Gavv while suspended in midair!

I definitely hope that you watch this action as many times as you want by streaming it.

The finishing Rider Kick puts Lango to a stop. It’s a “Sokutō kick” technique used in karate and the like with added rotation. It was also a fixation of Action Director Fujita to have a memorable kick that isn’t midair be used.

Furthermore, the successive attack done while Lango is flying around on the many encircling bottles (which, on closer inspection, all have different appearances!). I think that this was also an explosive arrangement from Director Sugihara, who never runs out of ideas!

The strongest enemy, Lango, has been defeated, but Lango’s exit will have great consequences for the Granute world, and therefore the Stomach family.

Next episode will focus on the unforgettable topic of “Japanese confectionery”. Please look forward to it!!

[bikenesmith]

ive noticed some engagement on some of my monkees (shit)posts from way back in 2012/2013 — my 14/15 year old self. which is endearing, bc im aware the monkees fandom is still going, and is perhaps even more active than it was in my day. this did remind me of a @fansplaining article by allegra rosenberg / @areyougonnabe that i finally got around to reading earlier this week, the beatles live!

(i have no idea how long some of you have been here, so to recap i was fully obsessed with classic rock bands and 1960s/70s pop culture from like, 12 to 15 years old. profound impact on me in many ways, still love 60s/70s music, culture and history. also lmfao at my fandom of the last near-decade being sparked by a film set in the 60s. the several page video essay script about x-men first class' anachronistic 1960s fashion, which is sooo close to actually being filmed, will likely be the ultimate culmination of it all) the beatles were my first music fandom — while i still have feelings for the monkees [obviously, considering my ~12 year attachment to this url across nearly all of my social media] it is the beatles that i still have brain worms for. a tiny, isolated worm, but one nonetheless. so this article, i had to read.)

i was really taken by this section on the anachronistic modernizing of beatles fandom activities.

It takes a certain stripe of fannish brain to obsess over music from a bygone age instead of modern artists—taking something as broadly popular as classic rock and treating it with all the intimate, loving attention that other fans devote to a sci-fi television show, a fantasy book series, or a cult video game. These fans are cultural archaeologists, working with the materials of the past to create the passion of the present. The phenomenon is not limited to the Beatles. On TikTok, fans place meme tweets on pictures of the Stones and Bob Dylan; celebrate Freddie Mercury’s style; and make Monkees fancams. But the Beatles fandom is still top dog, with a kind of default dominance it retains from the dawn of Beatlemania. On Tumblr, you can find gifsets of Beatles movies, fanart, and the occasional Yoko Ono stan post, side by side with more typically Tumblr-esque wackiness along the lines of Paul McCartney posts tagged “#my twink wife”, “Maxwell’s Silver Hammer” memes, and toxic yaoi polls.

it made me think about how this phenomenon — the blending of modern fan practices and modern pop culture (fancams, memes, insaneposting, etc) with classic rock fandom is not new (not that allegra insinuates it is — i am speaking generally), but is something that has been around for a while, and is something i participated in quite heavily when it came to monkees fandom. whether it was

editing a music video to the tune of marina + the diamonds

making art of mike nesmith as a genderbent marina + the diamonds analog

not to mention the entirety of the who (slight flashing tw)

creating mockups of a classic rock-themed homestuck/OFF/undertale/earthbound analog:

classic rock icons using homestuck icons as a base

blending classic rock into my ~aesthetic~ blog theme sensibilities:

this video where i did nothing but put the beginning of baby got back over a scene from the first episode of the monkees and the music lined up almost frighteningly well

or creating emo notepad screenshot aesthetic posts with quotes from head (1968)....

i was very invested in engineering (or maybe just yearning for + acting out desires?) a form of classic rock fandom that was "hip" to the modern fandoms i was aware of. this was likely inspired by the fact that monkees fandom at the time skewed older.

i cannot for the life of me find these accounts or screenshots of them, but i think the ultimate expression of this was a collection of twitter accounts i made as mockups of twitter stan accounts, modeled directly off of one direction accounts at the time. complete with icons that were cut-outs of musicians overlayed onto aesthetic background, and descriptions that noted how many times the musicians had interacted with them.

importantly, i could not have sustained this if not for the close friends i had at the time that were around my age and were on my wavelength, that supported it, commiserated with me, made lots — especially on the homestuck parts. even if it was a small thing, in a small fandom, it was a communal effort

idk. its interesting to see that these dreams of mine have now come to fruition.

abrupt stop, no conclusion bc this is just a post not an essay (a comment directed at my autistic ocd self). may be interesting to some of the nouveau classic rock fandom.

[genericpuff]

How long do you usually take to plan for a really long story/comic? Do you do a rough plan or a fully detailed one? Any apps you use for planning?

Thank you in advance!

It depends on the project. For my long-term series, it definitely takes me a good while to finalize everything from start to finish, but as a general rule, I try to keep my writing one step ahead of where I'm drawing, for two purposes: so I can have a goal in mind to propel the comic forward (I don't want to be writing or drawing on the fly more than I have to), and so I can have enough planned ahead for editing, because by the time I get to the thing I've planned, my writing has likely grown more and my perspective on it has shifted, so I'm not releasing "first takes", so to speak.

Usually I use LibreOffice and just sort of keep a few separate files for different purposes. I always have a "[story] shit" file of some kind where I just dump thoughts and notes that I don't wanna lose lmao but then I usually also have a file that's meant for outlining. I think Rekindled is the first comic where I haven't employed my spreadsheet method, which is when I'd use Excel/Spreadsheets to lay out panel descriptions and dialogue. So like this:

(Episode 14 of Time Gate: [AFTERBIRTH])

Rekindled is more just note-taking, what I want to happen in each episode, and if there's any dialogue I come up with that I definitely want to include, I write it down in there. I've done all of Rekindled's process through Scrivener, which I learned how to use shortly before starting it. IDK yet if I like Scrivener enough to use it for my bigger projects, but it's been helpful for organization and keeping my files all in one central "hub" area.

So right now I have up to about Episode 70 drafted out like that ^^^ but things do change during the actual production of the episodes. Sometimes I'll write something in my notes that doesn't flow well in actual comic form. Sometimes I'll write dialogue during the sketching stage that I don't like anymore by the time I get to the final rendering. It's all a stage-by-stage process from drafting to final release.

The question of "how long" really just comes down to the note-taking process. I tend to work in bursts, the last time I did any written episode layouts was a few weeks ago and that was because I got like, 40+ episodes done in a day LOL So I'm all set for the next little bit, but I'll have to get back to planning by Episode 50 if I haven't done any before then. I'd like to have the entirety of Rekindled plotted out by the end of the year so I can get a more exact answer of how long Rekindled will be :' )

When it comes to software/apps, keep it simple, use what you know. I've been using standard word editors and spreadsheets for years now because it works for me. Scrivener's been fun to learn but as I mentioned, IDK if I'm gonna be able to stick with it for bigger projects like Time Gate because it feels like I'm wearing different shoes that I'm not used to lol But that's just me, feeling "at home" with my software is just an important thing to me, for others it might not matter so much. Scrivener definitely has the most features for drafting/writing/editing, but it's also not very beginner-friendly and there's a huge learning curve to really understanding how the software is designed and what it fully offers.

There's also Plottr which I've been using for [AFTERBIRTH], it's really helpful for people who need visual aids because it allows you to lay out story timelines through imagery. But I really only use it for laying out story beats from end to end, I don't use it much beyond that, any extensive note taking or scripting happens in actual word documents.

(idk if this is how you're actually supposed to use Plottr but it's how I use it so w/e lolol)

Ultimately it's all up to you, what works for me might not work for others so don't be afraid to try things even if it ends up not working out for you. Obv that might be a bit more of a "nah" when it comes to paid software like Scrivener and Plottr, but there are loads of tutorials on Youtube that teach you how to use the software that you can hopefully use as a glimpse into how they work to see if they'd be up your alley before paying money for 'em.

Hope that helps! ˋ( ° ▽、° )

[popculturebuffet]

Thomas And Friends Retrospective: Thomas and the Magic Railroad Theatrical Cut (Commission for Lachie V)

Hello all you happy people and i'ts back on the train gang for more Thomas the Tank Engine

For those of you just joining us, a recap: For the past year and a half or so, i've been covering the first five seasons of thomas the tank engine on and off for @lachievpoststhings, who comissioned these as a fan of the franchise to get an outsider's perspective and hopefully get less jokes about Henry being walled up for always and always. Your free to jump in here and i'll have a post of the restrospective so far soon after this review's finished.

The basics are one day the good Reverend Bawldry, a longtime railway enthusist, made a bedtime story for his son about trains with human faces, kept making more as the kid loved them, and eventually turned these stories into a series of succesful books. Decades later in the 80's, up and coming exec Brit Alcroft seeked to adapt these books to screen and using amazing modelwork, velvety narration from Ringo Starr, George Carlin, Micheal Angelis and more across both ponds, Thomas became a massive success. While his US airings needed a wraparound, it got one in the superb shinging time station, your standard "kids learn lessons in a place" show, except this one has a magical tiny george carlin named Mr Conductor who shows up to give advice and schemer

This glorious large ham cooks up halfbaked schemes, is distrusted by children, and makes every episode better just by existing.

So with this success Brit Alcroftt decided to take her big IP to where all big properties go: the big screen. Luckily for her Barry London, head of Paramount at the time, had a daughter who loved Thomas and greenlight the picture in 1995 with a deal inked by 1996 and a script on the way. Unluckily, sometime after London left the studio and the project was canned because new studio heads are vindictive bastards. See how Final Space was canned after a studio change and goofy movie was given NO advertising after the exec pushing for it left. Thankfully after a false start elsewhere for Alcroftt, she decided to self fiance, finding that the Isle of Mann offered tax breaks. Helping was that London landed at another studio, destination films, so with their major backing and the isle of man cut the film was good to go.

So with that the film got underway and as far as I can tell it was MOSTLY smooth apart from a mishap with a James model.Post.. was a diffrent beast. The film had drastic changes done to it after a test screening caused Execs to panic: they changed most of the voice cast since the voices for most of the main cast were seen as "too old" and the one for one of the big bads, Disel 10 "too scary". That'd be bad enough.. but then they decided to ax an ENTIRE CHARACTER, PT Boomer, who served as a human antagonist.

Shockingly the excutives doing a power meddle did nothing to actually salvage the film: it bombed at the box office, closed the door on any future thomas films and ended Britt Alcroft's time at her own company.

So that leaves us with some questions: Was the film THAT bad? Was the original cut, which we now have thanks to a blu ray specail edition in workprint form, any better? Was their any salvaging this mess or was it always a silly engine? and why was schemer left out?

While i'll never be able to figure out that last question, the rest I hope to answer by tackling both cuts in their own reviews. I'm tackinlg the theatrical first as while it's the second cut, ti's the one most people have seen and i'm not watching the work print till the review of the theatrical cut is finished as i'm judging it as most people watching it would: this is the version that's most complete, wildly avaliable and that most people have seen, so I want to view it on that merit, albeit with the understanding it was cut up quite a bit, so I am giving it a little leeway.

So join me under the cut for the maddening mysteries of the theatrical cut of thomas the tank engine. I warn you the film your about to hear about is nigh incomprehinsible, quite mad, and has alec baldwin acting like h'es taken all the drugs in the world. You've been warned. Let's begin.

So since i've already covered behind the scene's let's jump into the mishmash of scenes hastily cut together then horrifyingcally stitched back together by the studio. Because "Plot" is being more generous than this cut deserves.

So the film follows the fate of two worlds: the world of Shining Time Station and the world of Sodor where thomas and friends live, the two ends of Mr. Conductor's universe. What does that mean?

I think it's supposed to be metaphorical like saying my world.. but having a magical being say that and say that about two parallel worlds is just confusing. Did he create Sodor? Did whatever race the mr conductors are did? This is more confusing than a film about stupid train children should be.

This is also the film's approach to it's world building as a whole: just throw something in that's confusing and hard to parse, never fully explalin it and walk on to the next bit of insanity. I'm not asking for through, complex world building from a Thomas the Tank Engine film, i'm just asking for a world where any of the magic you set up makes any sense.

The two shows this comes from don't have this problem. There is weird shit in both universes.. but both universes are consitent. Sodor is a british island, exists in the 1920's, and has a massive railway ran by Sir Topham "The Fat Controller" hat. The trains all have faces and are wholly sentient and are still treated entirely as trains. That's.. it. It's just the 30's but with sentient trains. It takes getting used to, they cause tons of accidents and weird shit happens.. but it's simple.

Shining time has more magic and what not but it's still consistent: Mr C is a magical entity of some kind with a vast family, he lives in shining time but can travel the multiverse and visits sodor frequently, bringing back it's stories for the kids he mentors. There's also magical puppets in the jukebox. Neither thing is explained, but we really don't need one and how both Mr. C and the PUppets operate is consitent.

The film.. is as consistent as a Warner BRos Discovery exec. The film just sloppily stiches a bunch of magical concepts and cliches together , expects you to just accept it and move on. The problem is unlike thomas and shinging time, it piles so shit on that you have no choice but to ask questions. And yes im aware i'm not the film's target demo.. but the film's target demo, younger children.. still deserve some respect. Shining Time and Thomas never fell like they think the audience is morons and you should never treat children like idiots just to justify your sloppy plotting. And chidlren aside..adults still had to take their kids to this. 5 year olds can't buy movie tickets.. well they can but the theater has to be pretty fucking neglegent. The adults who were kind enough to take their kids to see this didn't deserve to have a confusing mess shoved on them.

Speaking of a confusing mess let's get back to the film. The Film has two major storylines across the two worlds which quickly overlap:

ON earth curious city kid Lily Stone, played by Maura Wilson, is sent to vist her grampy burnett, played by Peter Fonda who to his credit takes the roll seriously. Burnett has an assitant/sidekick/local orphan boy named Mutt who, given the two minutes i've seen of the workprint, marries her in that cut but here is just kinda.. there so Peter Fonda can explain his train backstory: he was once the conductor of Lady, a magical train that could cross betwen worlds and i'm just going to go ahead and get this started

Things the Film Just Wants you To Accept: 2

Lady was injured by Disel 10 , played by Neil crone. I'll point out the original actors when I do the workprint if you were curious. He's an evil Diesel who has a grappling claw and a confusing world domination plan. Burnett's spent his life trying to fix Lady with no luck.

Meanwhile on Sodor, Sir Hatt is going on vacay so he asked Mr. Conductor to go watch his stupid train children for him while he's away. We have a new Mr. C in this film I assume, as while the film never explains it the series did expalin it's swapping mr c's with Ringo Starr's versoin being the cousin of his succesor, the george carlin one. So I assume this is also a cousin as Mr. C also has one he also hands his hat off to. More on that towards the end and more on the ocusin in a bit. Point is new mr. c is played by Alec Baldwin.. and baldwin spends the whole film acting like he's tripping balls. Baldwin is hamming it up so hard trying to be a chldren's character he comes off like Mr. C took enoguh coke before comming to sodor that he dosen't come down for TWO DAYS. Baldwin mostly acts hammily, hyderactively and goofily. It dosen't work on it's own as it's way too over the top even for this film and trying way to hard. It is however a nice jolt of hilaroius nonsense in a film that's mostly confusing nonsense.

Anyways Mr C soon has a problem :his sparkle, his magic dust, is running out. And apparently if it runs out , the magic of sodor and shining time both dies with him. Or something.

Things the Film Just Wants you To Accept: 3

He dosen't notice at first, being late while Thomas and Friends deal with normal business: Thomas is just a tad late, and Gordon, the biggest engine, is being a pompus asshole about it. Gordon is also played by Crone, who adlibbed msot of his lines for both Diesel 10 and Gordon, to the point one line later in the film is just gordon lapsing into a rant about how clever he is, how smaller engines can neve rbe useful, and how he's the best. He did it, he broke Gordon down to his bare essentials.

The two are soon confronted by Disel 10 who someone passed the background check and unveils his plan: he's going to find and kill lady, which will destroy all the magic in sodor and some how make him god emperor of all trains.

Things the Film Just Wants you To Accept: 4

First he plans to kill all the trains and ambushes them at night. Mr C finds his magic isn't working which isn't good. His escape plan is as diabolical as it is horrifying: he's going to poor sugar in disel's gas tank.. by waving a bag of sugar at him

Things the Film just Wants You To Accept: 5

So Mr. C heads off on an epic quest to find his magic, facing off with goblins, a wall of hands, a bog of eternal stentch, chily down with the fire gang and the most dangerous foe of all, David Bowie's Crotch. And I just described Labyrinth because Mr. C's quest amounts to "Dick around looking for clues and get kidnapped by a train" and i'd rather be talking about Labyrinth again... so let's do. Having relistned to it thanks to my nephew putting it on a playlist while I was in the car, i"ve come to realize I was WAY too hard on chilli down. While the actual musical number hasn't aged great the actual music is a fucking banger, having a nice surreal feel, the best drug trip song that's ever drug trip songed. Good stuff.

So back to my neverending torment Mr. C has a nap/is barely concious after Disel nearly threw him off a bridge this time so he has a prophetic dream

Things the Film Just Wants You To Accept: 6

Yes apparently in this time Alec Baldwin is the Kwisatz Haderach

He sees a future where due to him being absent shining time has closed down. The kid are gone, Billy was replaced by a terrible actor, and Schemer is seemingly dead. Wait.. that all happened in the main timeline. How is he sure the interstellar jihad the end of shining time is something he can stop?

Well he isn't so he calls his cousin Mr C Junior for help. Sadly this dosen't mean we get Ringo Starr or George Carlin but instead Micheal E Rogers. While his agressive scottishness is charming, he can't save this character as Junior is just kinda annoying at best. He ALLGEDLY has an arc where he learns his lesson and becomes better.. but he's really just a dumbass who wastes all his uncle's dust and his own remaining dust. He's only here because SOMEONE has to bring lily to Sodor

So before we get to that, let's catch up on everyone else. Burnett's dog is apparently also injesting spike and thus makes sure LIly ends up at shining time and sees Junior briefly. She then gets settled in with grandpa bonds with Dodger, just kinda putters around and...

FATHER THE SLEEPER HAS AWAKENED okay so stupid train children next. For a Thomas the Tank Engine movie the engines.. really don't actually do much in the plot. It's something I didn't notice in the film itself as the cut tricks you into THINKING their doing more than they are, cutting to the engines every few scenes as thomas tries to find Mr Conductor and stop Disesel 10 and his two comedic minions I haven't mentiond till now , who Disel sends to find the magic railroad. They do. That's it.. that's all they've done all film.

So we instead get a bunch of scenes of Thomas saying he's going to do something then just.. I guess doing something. We get bits of James and Percy who were originally voiced by Micheal Angelis, but instead replaced to get younger voices.. and instead got voice actresses who didn't really try to make thems ound masculine, resulting in Gender Flip James and Percy. James in paticular sounds like a dikensian orphan. I will say Eddie Glenn does a really good job at thomas but he and Neil Crone are the only ones who really get their rolls right out of the voice cast. I don't doubt these va's are good nor judge them for this: they werne't given much to work with, with Crone given nothing to work with and simply improvising, and were likely given little time to prepare given the rushed production schedule for the recut.

The most Thom=as contributes is loosing a truck, that will be important later, and figuring out that Disel's after the buffers which somehow allow people to travel on the magic railroad.

Things This Film Just Wants you To Accept: I"m So Tired

He finds out too late but thanks to Junior who brought a child with him because fuck it, they find thomas' missing truck and thomas and Mara Wilson go back to reality. A bad model of Thomas the film expects us to think is anywhere near acceptable

Things This Film Just Wants You To Accept: Stupid Train Models are for Cattle and Loveplay.

We do get a clever solution to the lady thing.. even if we never really get Burnett's backstory as that was cut because reasons. Since they have Sodor coal Lily suggests using it and I like it: it's a symbol of lady being both of this world and sodor. It's kind of cool in af ilm tha'ts mostly just confusing.

So lady returns to sodor, though Mr. C still thinks he and other Mr C who was busy telling Sir Topham Hat to go fuck himself and nearly getting murdered, using the last of his magic to save james, are dying as they still need that sweet sweet smack. I mean sparkle.. which is magical smack so it's better.

Before they can fix the crisis though Disel 10 shows up and we get a hilaroiusly green screneed ifnal chase as Burnet taunts his nemisis the sentient train. The chase scene.. is hilarously, horribly modleed and fun to watch. lady naturally wins, Disel 10 is left in the sludge but apparently comes back, and it's a happy end as Mara Wilson mixes well atter and railroad shavings to somehow create magic dust.

Things This Film Just Wants You To Accept: LONG LIVE THE STUPID TRAIN CHILDREN

So Mr C pases the cap on to his nephew who decides after his near death experince to man up finishing his nonexistant character arc. Mara wilson and co return home, the day is saved and the film just sorta ends.

That's.. the theatrical cut of Thomas and the Magic Railroad and as you can tell I was not a fan. It's entertaining for the most part and delightfully insane but i't sincoherence makes it REALLY hard to enjoy a lot of the time. As a Thomas film Thomas is barely a facotr in the plot, and as a shining time station film only two characters returned

Only. Two. Characters. Returned. The new characters are all bland cyphers, likely due to the cut changing. They TRY, Mara Wilson may of done this for the vacation but like Sir Micheal Caine before her she'll still work hard for the paycheck, but ther'es just nothing to hold onto. This film is a mess and I only recommend it if you have some friends to riff with, as I did with @jess-the-vampire or are good and baked. I was not but I hope to get some weed for my anxiety some day, and on that day I might watch this film. Oh who am I kidding i'm watching David Lynch's Dune and we all know it. Possibly with that episode of Sex and the City where Kyle Mclaclhan plays tennis shirtless at night as a prequel. His two best performances together at last.

So yeah not a big fan of this one. Not the worst thing i've covered but a hell of a film to unpack.. so you can imagine i'm just... PLEASED. AS. PUNCH. to be covering the other cut. Will be it be better? Worse? at least comprehnsible? Will I keep doing Dune refrences because I really fucking loved Part 2? All this and more will be answered next time but for now

[humbledragon669]

Script to Screen comparison: Episode 3 – Hard Times P2 – additions and amendments

Standard Intro

Having followed the episodes through with the Script Book, I've tried to break the differences between the original script and the end result on screen into a couple of different categories:

Large changes (whole scenes/multiple lines of script).

Things that are in the original script but not in the finished episode (I'm calling these deletions). These and the large changes are in part 1 of the write up for this episode.

Things that aren't in the original script but are in the finished episode (I'm calling these additions).

Things that have been changed (I'm calling these ones amendments).

Not all of the changes fit neatly into one category or the other (there are shades of grey...). The first three of the differences will be presented within bullet lists, with a description. The last of the categories will be presented in a table. I'll make comments about anything I find particularly notable after each category.

Additions

A line from Shakespeare instructing Burbage to go “from the top”.

Aziraphale saying he doesn’t know about him and Crowley having a lot in common during the meeting in 1793.

Shadwell gives the name of an additional fictional officer (Sergeant Pepper) to Crowley in the café.

Anathema telling Adam he doesn’t have to read the magazines if he doesn’t want to.

Madame Tracy telling Aziraphale to “hold on” (on the telephone) whilst she fetches Shadwell.

Shadwell’s “Aye?” exclamation as he answers the phone.

God naming Famine’s latest invention.

An external shot of Lesley arriving at the burger restaurant.

Lesley telling Famine he has to sign for the package.

A line from Famine clarifying the contents of the package (measuring scales).

A shot of Newt reading the Witchfinder Army manual before he talks to Shadwell about going to Tadfield.

A line from Mr. Young claiming Adam is fine after the conversation about ley lines.

I don’t think there’s an awful lot to say about most of these additions – they’re all very trivial, and I’m not completely sure that they add much to the finished episode. I do think the extra fictional character Shadwell drops into the dying conversation is a nice comic touch, and I think we probably did need to hear Famine name the object in the parcel, otherwise we might all have thought that they were the scales of justice (or is that just me?).

Amendments

As with the amendments in episode 2, most of these are tiny, but there are a handful of them that change the entire context or meaning of a line with the change of a single word. For instance, Crowley referring to “our lot” instead of “my lot” in 537 AD suggests he already considers he and Aziraphale to have formed a sort of partnership, rather than him being a lone wolf. And there’s that crucial change in Aziraphale’s stance on Crowley obtaining holy water:

The original script suggests that this is a choice that Aziraphale is making, with the motivation being unclear. The end result we see on screen suggests that, whilst his free will remains intact, his decision is driven by need. And how about this one:

The script version is a suggestion. The onscreen version is a statement. One word of difference. Completely different sentence meaning as a result.

There’s one of the amendments that, as with the oddity of Anathema’s Tadfield Manor statement, didn’t actually make any sense in the original script:

Shadwell produces a greasy, well-thumbed accounts book. […] He makes to slide it across, but Crowley makes a gesture: not necessary. Shadwell nods. The accounts vanish into Shadwell’s mac. […] Hold on Shadwell’s accounts book.

If the accounts book had already “vanished” into Shadwell’s coat, how could we have a close-up shot of it later on in the conversation?

The sequence at the end of the episode has been heavily edited, but I think it’s totally appropriate, as the end result feels much more harried and desperate, which is absolutely appropriate to the subject matter, if disappointing for the actors involved.

Aside from the instances or examples I’ve highlighted, I think most of the others are pretty trivial, but I’m happy to discuss any further. That’s it for this write up though, on to the next episode! As always, questions, comments, discussion: always welcome. See you in the next one 😊

[charmac]

I really liked your answer to that last anon! I just got into this fandom (and macden) and it's the first one I've been in many years. I was still a teen when I was kinda obsessed with shows like spn and bbc sherlock, and after those I just can't help but think that I'm once again just reading too much into the choices of the writers etc :/ like I want to believe my own eyes but I'm afraid to lol

What you have to try to remember (and constantly remind yourself) is that Sunny isn't like any other show, it's not Supernatural relying solely on Network demos to stay alive, and thus constantly feeding into bait to draw views, it's not a writers room completely removed from the actors.

The heart and soul of the show is completely, from the ground up, Rob, Charlie, and Glenn, in almost complete control. So when you see things the actors do in the show and you think "ugh I'm reading into this just like Destiel, those looks mean nothing, this is just the actors playing it up for..." For what? They've been renewed through 18, they don't even really rely on bringing in a large audience, it's FXX. They make this show for themselves, the audience is just a bonus.

Shows like Supernatural have teams that are often separate, so when something is written it might not be acted as the writers intended, which might not be edited as the actors and writers intended, which is all overseen by the Creator(s) and Producer(s), who have different visions and intentions for their show, which is heavily guided by what The Network allows/approved and believes will bring in views. So what you see in Credits is like any 'normal' show: Created by X, Produced by Y, Written by Z, Top billed cast: A, B, C. What happens with long-running shows like Supernatural, is that all the players develop different ideas and attachments over time, so you'll end up seeing the actors play their characters (and thus relationships) in a way that's a little different from the writers writing it and what the creator(s) want and what ends up in post is some conglomeration of all of these ideas, then pushed out a certain way by The Network to hold their demo and draw views. So you "read into" what you're seeing, it's very much there in many forms, but it's being chopped at the throat and comes out disjointed. Because XYZ ABC all have different ideas and attachments and visions from each other and they have enough sway based on long-standing to (kinda) have their voice heard. You're not reading into something that doesn't exist, you're reading into something that exists but is being butchered and warped by conflicting visions and power. (Just Misha Collins opening his mouth post-SPN Finale is perfect proof of this, lol)

Now look at Sunny, it's not that. Episodes like Bowling are really great examples: you look at the credits and it's: Produced by Rob, Charlie, Glenn; Developed by Rob and Glenn; Created by Rob; Written by Rob, Charlie, Glenn; Top billed actors: Rob, Charlie, and Glenn. So what you're immediately affirmed is that there's very little disjoint even possible. And, not even credited, we know Charlie and Rob were heavily involved in editing and post production (per TASP, Glenn was in Hawaii when they did post on Bowling). So what you're seeing is ALL deliberate, as intended. They are acting out the script exactly as it was written because, they wrote it. And then it's edited exactly how they want it to be because, it's their show and they sat there in the editing room. The final product isn't some conglomeration of different teams with different intentions, it's RCG from breaking the idea in a writers room to approving the final cut of the episode. There's no conflict, your eyes are telling you exactly what the intention of every moment is.

(And per the Meg Ganz Argument: she was quite literally a fan of the show, hardcore Macdennis shipper when they brought her on in 12. Post filming Season 14, she was still tweeting about shipping them. You don't work as an EP, in the writers room, and as a director for a show for three full seasons (ONE BEING TWELVE) and walk away from S14 still hardcore pushing your ship if there wasn't way more going on behind the scenes than we even know.)

Welcome to Sunnyblr! Believe your eyes, trust the structure, appreciate the hints, knowing it's all very deliberate, and be certain RCG(M) know what they're doing, and definitely enjoy driving us mad with it all. We're in it for the long haul, there's just always so much preamble :)

[wallisjewellie]

On that torrid Anakin/Padmé/Obi-Wan love triangle which was promised in 1983, then again in 1999

My impression is that Lucas had indeed been trying to insert the Anakin/Padmé/Obi-Wan love triangle into the Prequel Trilogy - repeatedly and in different forms/with different solutions. Only, he scrapped elements of this plot line in the last minute every single time. I have written about it in previous, related posts, but here I would like to make some further additions to this line of thought, which is actually way more than speculation.

Let’s begin.

I pointed out previously that Skywalking: The Life and Films of George Lucas (‎Da Capo Press; Updated ed. edition; May 31, 1999), which is a book by Lucas’ biographer, Dale Pollock, and which was first published in 1983, states that

“There will also be a torrid love triangle among the grown-up Queen (who will give birth to the twins, Luke and Leia), Annakin Skywalker, and Ben Kenobi. The consequences of this love triangle are one of the great betrayals layered throughout the three prequels that have enormous impact on all of the major characters in the story.”

Now I would like to draw attention to the sentence right before the above quote:

“A spectacular wedding for Annakin Skywalker is expected for Episode II, in which he is betrothed to the Queen (portrayed as a teenager by Portman).”

The 1999 edition was “updated with a substantial new chapter that discusses the revamped Star Wars Trilogy Special Edition, the Star Wars prequels”. Based on the deal in place between Pollock and Lucas, the latter was able to cut anything he felt was factually inaccurate - yet he didn’t touch the part about the love triangle and the betrayal.

Pay attention to the sequencing of the sentences: Pollock first writes about the wedding of Anakin and Padmé (taking place in Episode II), only then does he mention the love triangle. This makes me think that the Padmé/Obi-Wan plotline was about to be strengthened in Episode III. But as per Pollock, it should also have been layered through the PT. It is not, though. Or is was it…?

Confused? Don’t be. Read along.

We know for a fact that in a 1996 revised draft of Episode I, then titled simply “The Beginning”, it is heavily implied that the teenage Queen had a crush on Jedi Knight Obi-Wan, and he picked up on it. I have written about it here (x). (In this 1996 draft Obi-Wan was not a Padawan learner. Also, Padmé and him had a great number of interactions, because Qui-Gon appeared much later on screen.) Padmé’s attraction to Obi-Wan in this draft was overt, and it appeared to be evident to him.There were multiple indications that the Queen was crushing on Obi-Wan, and at least one where he noticed it, and when he did, the reaction it generated in him was of emotional nature. (Her eyes on him made him nervous.)

But all these were not in TPM, and cannot be found among the deleted scenes, right? Right. But-

In June 1999, a mere month after TPM had premiered, LucasArts released a CDROM companion called The Star Wars Episode I. Insider’s Guide which included among other things numerous notes detailing what was in previous drafts of the film, mostly in the revised rough draft that was completed on June 13th, 1996, and which contained clear reference to Padmé’s crush on Obi-Wan. These notes were ripped from the Insider’s Guide, and published on Medium.com (x) in May 2020. The file also included so-called “callouts” that cite the specific page number(s) in the draft where the events take place.

Why is it important? Because there is a note about Padmé and Obi-Wan, literally titled “A Crush?”, and its content refers to what is happening on pages 33, 43 and 44 of the 1996 rev draft. Take a look:

“A Crush?

On several occasions in the revised rough draft, there is mention of Padmé’s growing affection for Obi-Wan. When the Jedi argues with Amidala regarding Jar Jar’s fate, the script indicates that Padmé is “impressed that Obi-Wan is able to stand up to the Queen.” As they prepare to enter Mos Espa, she “gives Obi-Wan a long, adoring look.” Once in Mos Espa, Padmé watches Obi-Wan “with interest and respect,” and it is noted that her “eyes make the powerful Jedi nervous.” (RRD, pp. 33, 43, 44)”

Lucas was clearly meant to be laying down the groundwork for that love triangle, by making Padmé fall for Obi-Wan first. Well before she fell for Anakin. And it was confirmed in an officially released insider’s guide.

Those who cannot comprehend how Padmé got besotted in the first place with Anakin instead of the dashing Jedi Knight, Obi-Wan Kenobi, hero of the day, who she had met during the rescue mission… Well, you have your answer now. Her mind was actually supposed to be on Obi-Wan.

Moving on.

The definition of “torrid” according to Merriam-Webster is “parched with heat especially of the sun: hot; giving off intense heat: scorching; ardent, passionate”. Cambridge Dictionary defines the word as “involving strong emotions, especially those of sexual love”.

Pollock writes in 1999 (the same year the Insider’s Guide was published) that this love triangle is envisioned to be “one of the great betrayals layered through the prequels”. And that it is supposed to have “enormous impact” on the main characters. These are strong words. And since we are looking at the words of the author of Lucas’ biography, we should not discard them as part of an overly eager fanfiction.

There are some betrayals we are witnessing throughout the PT: the most dramatic is Anakin’s tragedy betrayal of the Jedi Order and the prophecy; then there is Palpatine’s grand scheme betrayal of the Republic. And we know from the OT that no one is morally irreproachable; not even Yoda or Obi-Wan.

And thus I am missing the promised betrayal with enormous impact which must be connected to the torrid love triangle between the three protagonists according to Pollock. Where is it? Lucas tacitly confirmed it coming even in 1999, since it is spelled out in the book, and he did not have it cut. This is the betrayal which must be committed by Obi-Wan and Padmé. Betraying Anakin. On a very personal level.

If we put together the concept of an ardent, passionate love triangle, involving strong emotions, especially those of sexual love, as well as the concept of a great betrayal, which leaves Anakin hating Obi-Wan, and seriously questioning the identity of Luke’s father, the conclusion appears to be rather straightforward: Padmé and Obi-Wan weren’t just supposed to take the side against Vader in the new, emerging galactic order. They were supposed to have some sort of affair. They were supposed to commit adultery in Episode III. And there was supposed to be a decent buildup to it.

This is harsh.

It really is. But so is Anakin committing mass murder of children, turning against the Jedi Order, becoming a tyrant etc. So is the Chancellor taking over the Galaxy. The truth is that we all see these shocking revelations coming: Anakin’s personality and weaknesses, Palpatine’s master plan are all in plain sight. They are layered through the prequels. Just like the love triangle was promised to be.

In The Beginning, Padmé did have a crush on Obi-Wan, and he knew it/felt it/was uncomfortable about, but aware of it. The adoration could hardly be mutual (at least I hope so), since she was very much a minor, while Obi-Wan was an adult Jedi Knight. But the seed was sown: she fell for him, and he knew it. And the original idea could have been that this (buried) childhood crush was to be resurfaced later. Again, Pollock mentions the torrid love triangle after the spectacular wedding.

Or not. Was it always Anakin and Padmé, who were supposed to hide their love and affection for one another? Must two people having a “spectacular wedding” do that? Was there originally something else (apart from what’s canonic now) behind Obi-Wan’s heavy protest against Anakin acting upon his feelings towards her?

One element of the torrid love triangle, the possessive-obsessive love from Anakin’s side was there, and his paranoid fear of Obi-Wan taking Padmé from him remained in RotS, although downplayed. I have discussed the disgraceful fate of the RotS Padmé/Obi-Wan storyline several times before; not going to do that now. But one thing is clear: their affair should not have been only in Anakin’s head. (It could have been a nice last-minute try though, in order to insert the triangle somehow into the story, given that by that time, not much Padmé/Obi-Wan interaction had survived the cutting floor in TPM and AotC.) But it should have been real. And torrid. And should have been having an enormous impact on all of the major characters of the story.

Probably not just on the story of the prequels, but on that of the original trilogy as well.

I think that the original idea was the ambiguous paternity all along, Lucas just eventually didn’t have the guts to steer things to the direction of uncertainty about the identity of the father. Pollock himself mentions in the same sentence the triangle and that the Queen will give birth to twins. (“There will also be a torrid love triangle among the grown-up Queen (who will give birth to the twins, Luke and Leia), Annakin Skywalker, and Ben Kenobi.”)

To be honest, even though I am an Obidala fan, I do not really support the theory of Obi-Wan being Luke’s (and Leia’s) father. (And don’t even get me started on the twisted idea of Padmé conceiving two children from two different fathers…) I do love the father-son redemption arc, and Vader’s name is… well, it’s literally Vader. But I support the idea of creating uncertainty about the father’s identity in the viewers’ (and Anakin’s) head, as long as possible. Again, the revelation itself is one of the biggest plot twists in the OT, so it would have made perfect sense if Lucas had left us somewhat suspicious about Luke’s origins before said revelation.

The prequels should have left the possibilities open, leaving it to the OT to have the story unfold. And the prequels should have given us that torrid love triangle.

[rax-writes]

More

Fandom:  MCU Pairing:  Baron Helmut Zemo x Reader Warnings:  Sexual intercourse with a female-identifying person with a vagina + a bit of sugar daddy Zemo vibes at the end Notes:  Y’all... don’t judge me. I have a power kink, and Marvel did me dirty by randomly deciding that Zemo is fifthly rich royalty. And my girl @henrysmorgan​ did me even dirtier by actively encouraging my attraction to this fucker. So, blame Marvel, and blame her. // This is kind of really fucking long, and I didn’t edit it much, because I wanted to get it posted before episode 4, in case that episode flips the script. So, potentially some editing issues, and slightly rushed writing. Hopefully it’s alright, but please let me know if I screwed up anywhere. // Lots and lots of TFAWS ep. 3 spoilers

When Bucky texted you to ask that you meet him in some dusty, old, abandoned-looking car garage, you certainly didn’t know what to expect. All you knew was that an old friend needed your help, so you intended to be there.

It had been a few months since you’d last seen him, and even longer since you’d participated in any sort of mission, but you suspected that was what you were walking into. Being exposed to the Mind Stone had granted you the power of telepathy, which meant that SHIELD was quite keen on persuading you to work for them. They trained you in martial arts and hand-to-hand combat, and you went on miscellaneous missions a handful of times. They put in a lot of effort to convince you that it was your moral obligation as an “enhanced individual” to help them with these missions, but you ultimately decided that that simply wasn’t the kind of life you wanted. Instead, after the Blip, you began working a desk job for SHIELD, which is when you crossed paths with Bucky, helping him with paperwork associated with his pardon, and the two of you formed a friendship. But SHIELD kept trying to coerce you to get back into the field, constantly badgering you about it and making it clear that you weren’t wanted if all you were doing was paperwork.

The truth is, you weren’t cut out to be a superhero, and you had no desire to be. It didn’t help that your entire country had been reduced to rubble several years prior, leaving you with a bottomless pit of homelessness in your heart. So, you left SHIELD, and started a life in Berlin, where you were content to live out your days as the owner of a small bakery, residing in the small apartment above your shop.

That is, until Bucky Barnes dragged you into a particularly sticky situation, with a certain Baron Helmut Zemo.

You knew that helping Bucky and Sam would throw a colossal wrench in the life you’d created for yourself in Berlin, but after they explained the situation with the super soldiers, coupled with Bucky’s puppy dog eyes, you found yourself refraining from storming out of the building the second you saw Helmut fucking Zemo.

“We need you to keep an eye on him. You don’t have to tap into his mind 24/7, we just want a heads up if he’s going to screw us over,” Bucky explained.

"Look, we really need him. We’re obviously scraping the bottom of the barrel here, otherwise he'd still be in that cell. And neither of us want to be packing a criminal around like a rich bitch's chihuahua, so we need you here to make sure we're not gonna get bit," Sam explained.

"Fine. But you both owe me," you relented, and they both took sighs of relief. You glanced at Zemo, locking eyes with him for several tense moments. He gave you a polite smile, giving off the impression that he had nothing to hide – which he didn't, as his thoughts showed his intentions were pure at the moment. "We're good for now. He just genuinely wants the opportunity to take down these new super soldiers."

Sam and Bucky nodded, visibly releasing tension from their shoulders as they moved to head out, now reassured that Zemo was truly on their side. Meanwhile, Zemo eyed you with curiosity and awe, murmuring, "Fascinating."

The four of you walked on the landing strip toward a private jet, owned by Zemo.

"So all this time you've been rich?"

"I was a Baron, Sam. My family was royalty before your friends destroyed my country," Zemo explained, before glancing at you with a small smile. "But you knew that already."

"Wait, how did she know that?" Sam asked, then turned to you. "How did you know that?"

"I am Sokovian myself. I was certainly not royalty, but I lived there for my entire life, until it was destroyed," you explained, stopping outside the jet as Zemo greeted the elderly butler, Oeznik, in your native language. It made you smile to yourself; it had been years since you'd heard it spoken. Zemo shot you a grin when he noticed, and when you took a peek into his mind, you saw that he understood exactly how you felt.

As the butler handed Zemo a flute of champagne after you all boarded the jet, the Baron smiled politely as Oeznik stated, “Apologies if that's a little warm. The fridge is out, but I will see if there is some good food in the galley.”

Zemo glanced as you sat across from him, then in Sokovian, Zemo told Oeznik, "Another flute for the lady, please. And if the food does not pass the smell test, give it to the gentlemen."

"It's good to have you back, sir!"

As the man retreated to the cockpit, also in Sokovian, you noted, "You are a mischievous man, even more so than in your infamously criminal ways."

"You will find that there is more to me than meets the eye, angel," he responded coolly, the Sokovian language rolling off his tongue like honey. Before you could respond, admittedly enjoying speaking Sokovian, Sam grew tired of everyone speaking a language he couldn't understand.

"Why don't you tell us about where we're going?"

After a tense exchange between Bucky and Zemo, followed by a discussion about Marvin Gaye, Zemo finally got to the point: Madripoor. You exhaled slowly, resting your forehead in your palm in exasperation.

“You couldn’t have invited me on a mission to Cancun? Or Paris? Why must it be Madripoor?” you asked Bucky, who shot you a tight-lipped, pitying smile, silently apologizing for what he was dragging you into.

“What’s up with Madripoor? You guys talk about it like it’s Skull Island.”

“It’s an island nation in the Indonesian archipelago. It was a pirate sanctuary back in the 1800s,” Bucky explained.

“And upon seeing it, you would see that times there haven’t changed one bit since then,” you added.

“It’s kept its lawless ways. But we cannot exactly walk in as ourselves. James, you will have to become someone you claim is gone,” Zemo said.

You frowned as you caught a glimpse of Bucky’s thoughts as he went silent. Fear. Anxiety. Disdain. Apprehension. You reached across to rest your hand on his shoulder and give it a reassuring squeeze. He shot you a small smile, then looked out the window.

Upon landing in Madripoor, one of Zemo’s contacts met you on the landing strip with a new wardrobe for you, Bucky, and Sam, and Zemo explained that each outfit was per his instruction, carefully chosen to fit the role each of you would be playing in Madripoor. One by one, you took the covered clothes hanger to the bathroom of the jet and changed. Bucky was first, stepping out in some sort of leather number, looking eerily similar to the Winter Soldier you’d seen in photos. Sam was next, donning a three-piece suit of burgundy and gold. He looked sharp, although he was immediately complaining about how ostentatious it was. And finally, you stepped into the room and closed the door behind you, unzipping the covering on the hanger and revealing your “carefully chosen” outfit.

“Ich werde dir im Schlaf die Eier abreißen, Zemo!”

Bucky choked on his water and Zemo chuckled under his breath, while Sam looked between the two in confusion.

“I don’t know what she said, but she sounded pissed,” he observed, eyeing Zemo suspiciously.

“She informed me that she intends to remove my testicles in my sleep.”

“And why is that?”

“Perhaps because he’s chosen to parade me around Madripoor like a cheap whore,” you said angrily, stepping out of the bathroom with your hands on your hips, glaring at Zemo.

“That dress is by Armani Prive, and your shoes are Louboutins – far from ‘cheap.’ And you do not look like a whore, the dress is merely more revealing than what you are used to,” Zemo argued, standing and walking over to survey your outfit. He seemed to be enjoying what he saw, judging from the way his eyes raked up and down your body, but you didn’t dare check his thoughts to confirm or deny it.

If you were honest with yourself, he was right. It was a very nice dress; plum purple, matching the color of Zemo’s turtleneck, with long, fitted sleeves, all of it made of the softest silk you had ever touched. It was fitted at the top but flowy from the hips down, with a low balconette-style neckline, showing more of your chest than you were accustomed to, although you pulled it off quite nicely. It ended just above your knees, which was fine, as you sometimes wore skirts of that length. Overall, the luxury of it and the low-cut neckline ensured that you were out of your comfort zone, but you looked stunning – and expensive, despite your spite-fueled initial claim.

“I thought the color would look nice on you, and I was right. And I knew that the flow of the fabric at the bottom would allow for this,” Zemo said, his hand gingerly trailing from your waist to your thigh, where he pulled up the hem of your dress slightly to reveal the edge of the Glock strapped into your thigh holster. He smirked as his suspicion was confirmed. He knew you’d find a way to arm yourself, regardless of what you wore.

In hindsight, the way Zemo touched your side and lifted your skirt was all far more intimate than you should have allowed, and yet… you couldn’t deny the way your breath caught in your throat when he touched you, or how his close proximity made your body temperature rise, as he gazed down at you with those intense brown eyes.

Christ, you needed to get laid. Soon. Before you further entertained the idea of jumping the bones of a highly wanted criminal.

“Touch me like that again, and I will kill you where you stand,” you informed him sternly, and Zemo immediately took a step backwards, looking apologetic. From the corner of your eye, you saw both Sam and Bucky visibly relax, tension leaving their shoulders. You had read their thoughts briefly, and they were both wondering why the hell you were so calm about getting cozy with Zemo. The absolute last thing you wanted was for them to know that you were, in fact, inexplicably drawn to being that close to the Baron.

As the four of you walked along a bridge in Madripoor, Sam was quick to resume his complaining.

“We have to do something about this. I’m the only one who looks like a pimp.”

“Only an American would assume a fashion-forward Black man looks like a pimp. You look exactly like the man you’re supposed to be playing. The sophisticated, charming African rake named Conrad Mack, aka the Smiling Tiger.”

“He even has a bad nickname,” Sam grumbled, then looked at the phone Zemo handed him. “Hell, he does look like me, though.”

“And who am I supposed to be?” you inquired, glancing down at your clothing to see if you could guess who you were meant to be portraying. An heiress or socialite, perhaps.

“My fiancée,” Zemo answered simply, the faintest smile on his lips.

You barked out a crude laugh, “Oh, I think not.”

“There is no one involved with Madripoor who looks like you. And it is rare that there are newcomers to the island, especially not in the place we’re going. Pretending you are someone random would raise concerns about the intentions of your presence; you would be perceived as a potential threat, which would jeopardize our mission. It is far easier to simply pretend we are engaged, I assure you.”

You hesitated a moment, before arguing, “No one will believe that we are engaged.”

Zemo pulled something from the inside pocket of his jacket, took your left hand, and slipped it onto your ring finger. It was a solitaire diamond ring; not large enough to be gaudy, but enough to catch anyone’s eye.

“They will if you play your part well,” he told you, then addressed the rest of your party when he added, “No matter what happens, we have to stay in character. Our lives depend on it. There is no margin for error.”

The four of you reached a sleek black car, and climbed in, you in the back between Sam and Bucky. The ride to Low Town was tense and silent, as each of you mentally prepared for what lay ahead. When you arrived, Zemo offered you his hand as you exited the car, and the pointed look in his eyes told you that it was time to begin playing your part. You took his hand, and as you began walking into the heart of Low Town, he laced his fingers with yours. As the crowd drew near, Zemo wrapped his arm around your shoulders, gloved fingers brushing against the exposed skin of your shoulder. After reading his mind, you realized that it was both for the sake of protecting you, and showing possessiveness to make it believable that you were his girl – and because he simply enjoyed having your body close, although you suspected that he’d rather you have not known that.

Despite the fact that you had been on a few missions for SHIELD, you were not exactly incapable of fear; you did not possess nerves of steel. All of the missions you’d been on were low-profile, and you were mostly just there for the sake of gathering information from those reluctant to share it. Sure, you’d been in danger before, you’d had to fight your way out of several sticky situations, but this… this was different. You were in the crime capital of the world, a lawless place filled to the brim with crooks, thieves, and murderers. More than likely, any given person around could slit your throat and never bat an eye or give you a second thought. Swallowing your own pride in the face of fear prompted you to return Zemo’s gesture, wrapping your arm around his waist and sticking close to him, which earned a smile from the man.

When you arrived at your destination, Zemo approached the bar and leaned against it confidently on one arm, the other still wrapped firmly around your shoulders.

“Hello, gentleman,” the bartender greeted, before his eyes fell on you. “Who’s your new lady friend, Baron?”

“My fiancée,” Zemo answered, then turned to you and ran his finger along your jawline, as you looked at him in adoration. “Isn’t she lovely?”

“Very,” the bartender acknowledged, then turned to Sam. “Wasn’t expecting you, Smiling Tiger.”

“His plans changed. We have business to do with Selby,” Zemo responded.

The bartender made ‘Smiling Tiger’ his usual drink, which apparently consisted of… something he cut out of a snake, and dropped in a shot glass with a bit of liquor. You shared a look with Bucky before he turned away to survey the room, and when you read his thoughts, you found that you both desperately wanted to laugh out loud at Sam’s ‘short end of the stick’ situation, but didn’t want to risk everyone’s lives for the sake of a chuckle. You returned your attention to Zemo, opting to sell the whole “fiancée” thing a bit more by turning into him and tracing patterns on his chest as you gazed at him affectionately, while the bartender handed you and Zemo each a shot glass of your own – sans snake organs, thankfully. You both downed yours, while Sam understandably struggled a bit more with his, but still managed it.

A random man approached Zemo then, and as Zemo turned to face him, he protectively moved you behind him a bit.

“I got word from on high. You ain’t welcome here.”

“I have no business with the Power Broker, but if he insists, he can either come and talk to me…” Zemo countered, gesturing toward Bucky, who looked menacing as he pretended to be the Winter Soldier. “Or bring Selby for a chat.”

After a weary look in Bucky’s direction, the man walked away, and Zemo turned back around to face the bar, this time keeping you in between him in the bar, in case someone were to come up behind him – which they did a few moments later.

“Winter Soldier… attack,” Zemo commanded in Russian, as a different man came up and laid a hand on Zemo’s shoulder. With a pained look in his eye that quickly shifted to cold determination, Bucky grabbed the man’s hand with his vibranium arm, twisting it as he removed it from Zemo’s shoulder. Zemo took a step away from the bar to allow you room to turn and observe as Bucky beat the absolute shit out of various challengers. Zemo wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you close to him as he noted, “Didn’t take much for him to fall back into form.”

The unmistakable sound of numerous guns cocking drew your attention away from the altercation, and Zemo gently pushed you behind him as he surveyed the room to note all the weapons drawn. Sam grabbed Bucky’s bionic arm to stop him, but Zemo whispered, “Stay in character or the whole bar turns on us.”

“Well done, soldier,” Zemo then said to Bucky in Russian, signaling for the ‘Winter Soldier’ to stop.

“Selby will see you now,” the bartender interjected, and Bucky released his grip on the random man’s throat.

“Thank you,” Zemo responded, walking off to find Selby, grabbing your hand to guide you, but not before you spared a sorrowful glance at Bucky as your friends followed closely behind.

As Zemo took a seat on a couch across from Selby, you sat close to him, crossing your legs gracefully as you leaned into him, your arm wrapped around his as he clasped his hands in his lap authoritatively. You watched his exchange with Selby in silence, as did Sam – and Bucky, of course, considering he was pretending to be the Winter Soldier.

“By the way, I thought you were rotting away in a German prison,” Selby told Zemo, then smiled as she looked you up and down, before her eyes found the diamond ring. “And not engaged – to a woman far out of your league, I might add.”

“People like us always find a way, don’t we?” Zemo answered calmly, then looked over at you, staring into your eyes with warmth and adoration, and you smiled lovingly at him. “My beautiful fiancée was a guard at the prison. We fell in love over the years, and she helped me escape. Anyway, I’m sure you have already figured out what I’m here for.”

The conversation went relatively smoothly after that, until Sam’s goddamn phone rang and screwed the entire operation. In the blink of an eye, Selby was shot dead, you had shot two of the guards with the gun strapped to your thigh, and Sam and Bucky had each knocked out one, before Zemo suggested sneaking out of the bar as best you could, without any weapons. You secured your gun back in its holster, not missing the way Zemo watched as you hiked your dress up to do so, before making a break for it with the three of them.

Once you were on the streets of Madripoor, bounty hunters began to come out of the woodwork, and when they began shooting at you, Zemo abruptly grabbed your hand and ran down a nearby alleyway. As you were running, the heel of your stiletto caught on a grate, and you’d have fallen flat on your face if Zemo hadn’t caught you.

“Are you alright?” he asked hurriedly, his arms wrapped tightly around your waist as he supported you, before standing you back onto your feet. You nodded, and he glanced over your shoulder as he noticed a few men looking down the alley. “Forgive me.”

You were about to ask what he was talking about, but then Zemo abruptly grabbed you by the backs of your thighs and lifted you up, pinned you against the wall behind you, and kissed you.

The men at the end of the alleyway muttered something about “freaks who do it in public,” then their footsteps faded as they walked off, clearly thinking the two of you were some overly horny couple, not two of the people with an insane bounty on their heads. But you were barely paying them any attention, a bit preoccupied with the fact that Zemo was fucking kissing you, and much to your chagrin, you really fucking liked it.

Once there were no more voices and no more footsteps, Zemo broke the kiss and sat you down. The two of you stared at each other for a moment, before you heard more gunshots, and you broke into a run in the direction Bucky and Sam had gone, desperate to find your friends, and no time to process what the hell just happened.

As soon as you caught up with them, the two bounty hunters nearby were shot dead, and the four of you turned to see Sharon Carter emerging from the shadows.

An hour later, you found yourself in her swanky home in High Town, in a change of clothes, since the brick wall Zemo had held you up against ripped the back of your silk dress. You lied to Sam and Bucky, saying that it happened because you fell while running in your heels, and thankfully, they believed you. Sharon commanded the four of you to lay low and enjoy the party, which Sam and Bucky left her living room to go do, entrusting you with ‘Zemo watch.’

It seemed as though he was merely nursing his brandy in lieu of abandoning it for the party prior to finishing it off, but his eyes were on you most of the time. You didn't necessarily believe he could be plotting to overpower you and run off, but there is always that possibility, so you delved into his mind to check.

Expecting to find thoughts of strategy about how to defeat the super soldiers or travel plans, or even plots to escape you, Bucky, and Sam, you were astounded to find nothing but thoughts of you.

The way it felt to kiss you in that alleyway, and how he had monetarily debated just staying there, having his way with you against the brick wall before Sam and Bucky could locate you. The dress from the bar, and how it rested on your thighs, revealing just enough to have his mouth watering without being revealing to the point of immodesty. The way your necklace currently rested against your bare collarbone, and how desperately he craved to litter the area with love bites. The delicate skin of your throat, thinking of how it would look with his hand wrapped around it, just enough to cut off a bit of air but not enough harm you. How alluring your voice is, and how much he'd like to know what it would sound like to hear you scream his name. The softness and warmness of your skin when he had his arm around you in the bar, and when he held your hand as you fled the scene, and he wondered how soft and warm you were elsewhere.

"Your thoughts are filthy."

He bristled immediately, sitting straighter in his seat and eyes going slightly wide, either forgetting you can read minds or not realizing you'd be doing it right then. It only took a moment for him to regain his composure, before he took one long, last drink of his brandy and set the glass on the table in front of him. He turned his whole body to the side to face you, as you sat on the opposite end of the couch, wearing a small, somewhat mischievous smile.

"I suppose there is no sense in denying it, is there?"

"What game are you playing, Zemo?" you snapped. He was rattling you. As much as you hated to admit it, he was. For the entirety of the time you'd been around him, this wanted criminal had been flustering you, and goddammit it, you wanted to know if it was accidental, or for nefarious purposes. He could be using it as a tactic to throw you off your game, so that he could get away when it was just the two of you – like right now.

"There is no game, Liebling," he stated softly and sincerely, sensing your discomfort. Slowly, he scooted closer to you on the couch, so that the arm he had laid across the back of it was now behind you, as he stared intently into your eyes. "Merely the natural response of a man who has been widowed and then locked in a prison cell, and therefore has not known the touch of a woman in many years, sitting next to a woman of absolute ethereal beauty."

You said nothing, merely stared at him, sizing him up to see if he was toying with you or telling the truth. Zemo sensed your lack of belief in his words.

"If you doubt my true intentions, you are welcome to delve as deep into my mind as you'd like to find the truth."

In all honesty, you'd have done that already if you weren't trying to avoid being even more flustered by his thoughts about you – but you couldn't tell him that. So, you did as he bade you, and searched his mind to find any shred of malevolence towards you, but you came out empty-handed. Zemo genuinely just wanted you, craved you, like a starved man sitting in front of an endless buffet. He watched you carefully as you came to this conclusion, and although you said nothing further, he knew that you had found what you needed to know.

"Just say the word, and I will never approach the topic again, as well as attempt to quiet my thoughts about you. But if there is any part of you... deep inside you," Zemo paused, eyes grazing you up and down purposefully, before continuing, "that has any interest in being with me... I will do anything to bring that to fruition."

The ball was in your court now. You could tell him to get bent and never speak to you like this again… or you could get your rocks off, and maybe even get something more in return.

"Such as?"

"Name it, Schätzchen. Anything you want. A car, a mansion, jewels – say it and it's yours, if you will be mine," Zemo proposed earnestly, licking his lips quickly as he looked at you, visibly thrilled that he was getting somewhere with you.

You weren't the type to accept gifts from men you barely know, but… this was Zemo. A man who had done a great many terrible things, which soothed your guilty conscience. So, you said the first thing that came to mind.

"A car," you blurted out, then explained, "Mine broke down a week ago, and it's beyond repair, so… a car."

"Tell me the make and model of your preference and I'll have it delivered to your home within a week's time," Zemo said calmly, then brushed a lock of hair away from your face, before allowing his fingers to trail delicately along your cheek and jawline. "Is that all, Kätzchen?"

"No. One more thing," you replied, then looked at him sternly. "You must agree to never speak of this to Bucky or Sam."

"You have my word," he assured you, smiling in amusement.

"Then I'm yours."

Zemo's smile faded slowly, and he merely stared at you for a split second, before cupping your face in his hands and pulled you into a searing kiss, full of ferocity and sheer desperation. It shouldn't have been this easy, to kiss a man who's done such terrible things – yet here you were, melting into his embrace, allowing him to pull you into his lap and straddle him, your hands resting on his shoulders and gripping the black fabric of his turtleneck. His hands laid flat against your back as he kissed you in this new position, slowly gliding down, down your sides and to your hips. He kissed you in a way that was feverish and fast and hungry, as his fingers dug into your skin, holding you firmly against him as if he were fearful that this was all a dream and you'd disappear at any moment. Upon taking a peek into his mind, you realized that was actually exactly what he was thinking. Additionally, he mentally spoke to you directly, somehow knowing you were reading his thoughts at that moment.

"Tell me if I do anything that you do not like, and know that you have absolute freedom to end this at any given moment."

You pulled away slightly to nod in confirmation that you received his message, before resuming the kiss. Mind hazy and instincts taking over, you found yourself tugging his bottom lip between your teeth, earning a low groan from Zemo. One of his hands darted upwards to grab a fistful of your hair, right against your scalp at the base of your neck, and he pulled on it harshly, causing you to let out a wonton moan. He then laid that hand flat against the back of your neck, holding your lips firmly against his as he kissed you with even more fervor, and the other vacated its position on your hip to slide slowly up your torso, until he began palming your beast through your shirt. You moaned softly against his lips, but not as loudly as a moment ago.

Zemo wanted more, needed more; he longed to hear you loud and desperate. So he delved that hand at your neck back into your hair, gripping it tightly once more, and used it to pull your head backwards a bit, so that he could have better access to your neck. The action itself, and the tightness of his grip, earned an embarrassingly loud moan to escape your lips, and you felt him smile against your skin. He moved his hand to the middle of your back, supporting you as you leaned back a bit to grant him better access. As he littered your neck and décolletage with kisses, you felt him pull the neckline of your blouse down a little, then felt the sharp pain of a bite on your chest, above your breast. When you looked at him with narrowed eyes, he wore a cocky little grin.

"You should not be surprised, Liebling. I know you saw that I've been wanting to do that all day when you read my mind," he noted. "Wear a high neckline tomorrow, it will be fine."

Before you could respond, Zemo pulled you flush against his chest with that hand behind your back, and into another heated kiss. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, and without thinking, you ground your hips down on the bulge resting against your core beneath your skirt. He groaned, both hands flying to your hips to push them down again, guiding them as you repeated the action. It only took a minute or two of this before Zemo had enough, abruptly grabbing you by the throat and throwing you down onto the couch beside him. He then loomed over you, one hand propping himself up and the other applying slight pressure to your throat, gazing at you with admiration in those searing eyes, pupils blown wide from lust. You looked right back at him, pupils undoubtedly dilated as well, eyes half-lidded, panting a little, and hair a bit of a mess.

"You are an absolute vision," Zemo praised softly, to which you smiled, then he released his grip on your neck to lean down and kiss you again. That only lasted a moment, before he broke the kiss to pull your blouse up and over your head, tossing it carelessly to the side. Your bra joined it shortly after, then he moved to your skirt, fussing with the zipper for a moment, but it seemed to be caught on something, as it wouldn't budge. Before you could interject and state that you'd get the zipper yourself, Zemo ripped the seam apart with his hands, before tearing the article from your body and tossing it like he had with the blouse. A gasp escaped you, but you had no time to think much about his actions, before he was pulling off your panties and bra as well, dropping them somewhere beside the couch.

He was then looming over you again, kissing you breathless as he rested on one elbow while the other hand toyed with your nipple, his knee coming up to rest between your legs as he laid between your body and the back of the couch. You tangled your fingers in Zemo's hair, moaning against his lips as you sought friction against his leg. He smiled softly against your lips, before your hands wandered, finding the hem of his shirt and tugging it off of him. You had just managed to get his belt off before his hand left your breast, trailing downwards across your torso as he moved his knee further away from you, before delving between your hips and expertly locating your clit.

No longer capable of focusing on ridding Zemo of his clothes, your hands gripped his shoulders, and he hissed deliciously as your nails dug into his skin when he began rubbing small, methodical circles on your clit. Small moans fell from your lips as he watched the way your mouth hung open slightly, face relaxed and eyes closed as you enjoyed his work. But again, he wanted more, needed more. Still observing you, he delved his middle and ring fingers into your core, causing you to let out a loud gasp that faded into a long, low moan. Zemo smiled to himself. That was the reaction he was dying for.

He kissed you senseless, drinking in your moans and gasps of pleasure like wine, his free hand cradling the back of your head as your arms wrapped around his neck. It didn't take Zemo long to find that sweet spot, deep inside you – as he'd subtly alluded to earlier – that longed for his attention the most.

You couldn't help but moan loudly and cry out, "Fuck! Baron!" Zemo growled low in your ear, clearly a fan of your usage of his title as he picked up the pace, fucking you with his fingers with expert precision and speed, sending you hurtling over the edge with a string of curses in both Sokovian and English. By the time he removed his fingers from you and stood, you were seeing stars, breathing heavily as you laid flat against the couch. When your dazed gaze found him, he was naked from the waist down, and was just finishing rolling a condom over his length. You had no idea where he got it from, but you were way beyond giving a shit at this point. Zemo then rejoined you on the couch, roughly spreading your legs apart as he kneeled between them, looking at you with a primal, deep hunger in his eyes.

"You are certain that you want this?"

"Yes, please – fuck," you cut yourself off as he began rubbing your clit again.

"Yes please, what?" His voice was low, teasing, as he continued his work below. "I want to hear you say it again, Kätzchen."

"Yes, please, Baron."

"Good girl."

Zemo took your leg and rested your calf on his shoulder, before easing himself into you, agonizingly slow. You watched through half-lidded eyes as his brows furrowed together, his jaw went slack, and his eyes squeezed shut as he bottomed out. He was silent, but you very much preferred it when he was a bit vocal. So, you flexed your muscles down there, and he groaned, letting his forehead fall against your shoulder.

"Do not do that if you want this to last long," Zemo suggested through clenched teeth. You smiled to yourself, then said the magic word that you knew would get him going.

"Yes, Baron."

He growled again, right in your ear, then sat more upright to begin a harsh, quick pace of thrusting. His hips collided with your body each time, causing a delicious sort of pain, and he leaned down to lock you in a messy, deep kiss.

A few minutes later, Zemo moved your other calf to his shoulder as well, and the new position enabled him to get delectably deep inside you. You raked your nails down his chest, watching as a shudder ran down his spine, all the while releasing small, breathless moans and whimpers. When he opened his eyes again to gaze down at you, he licked his lips before delving both hands under your head and into your hair, and forcefully gripped two fitfuls of it at the base of your skull. The moan that tore its way from your throat was animalistic, as your nails dug into his forearms as you desperately gripped them from their positions on either side of your head. Just then, he hit a spot deep inside of you, and that familiar, tight coil in your lower belly began to form.

"Fuck! Right there, Baron, please, right there!"

"As you wish, Schätzchen."

Zemo began to thrust even faster, careful to maintain the same angle as he released his grip on your hair and leaned up a bit, so that he could resume rubbing your clit. Moans began to fall from your lips practically endlessly, and somehow, you still needed more. More, more, more. You took his free hand and laid it on your neck, and he instinctively wrapped his fingers around your throat, careful to apply pressure on the sides but not the front, as to avoid harming you. When he opened his eyes once again and looked down at you, he couldn't stop the moan that escaped him.

"You will be the death of me, mein Engel," Zemo whispered, seemingly more to himself. All you could do was moan in response.

"Baron, I'm going to – fuck – I'm —"

"Yes, come for me, Kätzchen. I want to feel you."

That was all the encouragement it took. Well, that plus how perfectly he was rubbing your bundle of nerves, and how his pace nor angle had faltered once since you had requested exactly that. You came undone again, legs shaking as your nails clawed at his shoulder blades, earning a series of groans from him. As you came down from your high, Zemo's hips began to falter, enthralled by the waterfall you had become, soaking the base of his cock as your walls squeezed around him. His hand at your wet heat abruptly moved to grip your hip, at the same moment his hand around your throat clutched at your hair again, and he met his end with a loud, gruff moan as he spoke a mantra of nonsensical praises and your name.

Zemo rested on his arms on either side of your head, and he let your legs fall to the sides of him, breathing hard against your neck as he occasionally peppered kisses there. He remained inside you for a few moments, savoring the feeling, before you chose to have a bit of extra fun by flexing your lower muscles and squeezing yourself around him again. With a sharp intake of breath, he pulled out of you, shooting you a glare.

In Sokovian, he murmured, "You are a naughty little thing."

"You adore it."

"That I do," Zemo conceded, then stood and walked off to the restroom. You heard the tap run, and a few moments later, he returned with a glass of water for you, sitting beside your feet on the couch and resting his heels on the coffee table. He was exceptionally handsome like this; still catching his breath, sweat glistening on his forehead and chest, a content look upon his face. You spent a minute or two admiring him, before he looked over to you, and a smile blossomed on his lips.

"I cannot thank you enough for that. I must admit, I spent countless nights alone in my cell, dreaming about getting to touch a woman like that again. Especially considering the fall of our country, I never could have imagined I would be lucky enough to lay with a stunning, intelligent Sokovian woman."

"In the spirit of confessions, it's been a while for me, too. My last boyfriend was about two years ago. And I'm not the one-night-stand type. So, do with that what you will," you stated, earning a small chuckle from Zemo. You sat up so that you were sitting beside him, instead of laying down, as you continued. "I fantasized about it a lot myself, but I never even dared to think my next time would be as good as this was."

Zemo smiled, a mix of pride and joy, then his smile softened as he leaned toward you, brushing a lock of hair away from your face. "This doesn't have to be our last time, you know. I would be honored to have you as often as you'd allow me to. And I assure you, I would make it worth your while. I will give you whichever vehicles your heart desires, more jewelry than you know what to do with, take you to the most beautiful places in the world, dine at only the finest restaurants – and above all, treat you like my queen. Take care of me, and I will take care of you, Liebling."

You allowed your curiosity to get the better of you, as usual when you feared that someone was lying to you. You searched his mind for any fraction of false pretenses, but there were none. The man simply found you intoxicating, and would do whatever it takes to keep drinking you in.

The arrangement wouldn't exactly be an easy one, nor would it be all that wise – nor morally correct, in all honesty. But he was undeniably sexy, and the danger and reprehensibility of it all made it that much more alluring. And besides all that – the way his power and wealth turned you on, how good he was capable of making you feel – most Sokovians were dead, and you missed home. Getting to speak your native tongue with him, chat about your country – it made you feel at home with him.

But you wouldn't give Zemo the satisfaction of agreeing to him that quickly.

“We'll see.”

—————

Part Two

[lokiondisneyplus]

Yes, Loki series director Kate Herron knows about your fan theory about the show, the analysis you posted to social media. No, she won’t tell you what she thinks about it, or whether you were right.

“I follow all the conversations on Twitter,” Herron told Polygon in an interview shortly after Loki’s season 1 finale. “I don’t always weigh in on them, because I made the show, so they don’t want me weighing in like, ‘Actually, guys…’ I think that’s the whole point of art — it should be up for debate and discussion.”

[Ed. note: Spoilers ahead for season 1 of Loki.]

Loki has been a hit for streaming service Disney Plus — episode 6 of the show, the final installment for this season, was reportedly watched by more households than any of the platform’s MCU finales to date. The series has been a popular source of fan conjecture and argument, with one particularly big rolling conversation focusing on whether the budding romantic relationship between trickster Asgardian Loki (Tom Hiddleston) and his alternate-universe counterpart Sylvie (Sophia Di Martino) is a form of incest.

Herron is willing to speak up about that one. “My interpretation of it is that they’re both Lokis, but they aren’t the same person,” she says. “I don’t see them as being like brother and sister. They have completely different backgrounds […] and I think that’s really important to her character. They sort of have the same role in terms of the universe and destiny, but they won’t make the same decisions.”

Herron says thematically, Loki falling for Sylvie is an exploration of “self-love,” but only in the sense that it’s Loki learning to understand his own motives and integrity. “[The show is] looking at the self and asking ‘What makes us us?’” Herron says. “I mean, look at all the Lokis across the show, they’re all completely different. I think there’s something beautiful about his romantic relationship with Sylvie, but they’re not interchangeable.”

Directing the final kiss between the two characters was a complicated process because it had to communicate something about each of them over the course of just a few seconds. Herron says the primary goal was creating a safe, comfortable environment for Hiddleston and Di Martino, and after that, she had to think about how to bring across Loki and Sylvie’s conflicting goals in that moment.

“It’s an interesting one, right?” she says. “Emotionally, from Sylvie’s perspective, I think it’s a goodbye. But it’s still a buildup of all these feelings. They’ve both grown through each other over the last few episodes. It was important to me that it didn’t feel like a trick, like she was deceiving him. She is obviously doing that, on one hand, but I don’t feel the kiss is any less genuine. I think she’s in a bad place, but her feelings are true.”

Herron says directing Hiddleston in the scene mostly came down to discussing the speech Loki gives Sylvie before the kiss. “That was really important, showing this new place for Loki,” Herron says. “In the first episode, he’s like, ‘I want the throne, I want to rule,’ and by episode 6, he isn’t focused on that selfish want. He just wants her to be okay.”

Loki writer and producer Eric Martin recently tweeted that he wished the show had been able to focus more time on two of its secondary characters, Owen Wilson’s Time Variance Authority agent Mobius M. Mobius, and Gugu Mbatha-Raw’s Ravonna Renslayer. “I wanted to explore her more deeply and really see their relationship,” he says, “But covid got in the way and we just didn’t have time.”

Asked if Loki and Sylvie’s relationship suffered from similar necessary edits, Herron says it’s true that the show’s creators and audience still don’t know everything Sylvie went through to make her so different from the Marvel Cinematic Universe’s original version of Loki. “We’ve seen her as a child, but she’s lived for thousands and thousands of years, in apocalypses on the run,” she says. “I think there’s so much more to delve into with Sylvie […] You’re filling in the blanks. You see [her on the planet] Lamentis, and it’s horrific. And you’re like, “Well, what kind of person would she be, growing up in apocalypses? What kind of personality would that give her?”

Herron says Sylvie’s backstory actually reminds her of the 1995 movie Jumanji, where a young boy is sucked into a magical board game in 1969, and emerges 26 years later as a full-grown man, played by with typical manic energy by Robin Williams. “It’s such a weird reference, but…” she says. “He’s a little boy when he ends up captive in that game, and when he comes out, it’s obviously been a life experience. With Sylvie, it’s similar. She was a child when she had to go on the run, so she’s had a very difficult life. I would love to see more of it. As Eric said, she’s a rich character, there’s so much to be explored.”

Herron says, though, that during her time on the show, material about Sylvie was added rather than cut — specifically, those scenes of her as a child, being kidnapped by the TVA. “This was before my time, but I know in the writers’ room, there were lots of avenues exploring Sylvie on the run and what her life was like,” Herron says. “I wouldn’t want to speak more to those, because I wasn’t there when they were being discussed. But something wasn’t in there that was important to me — I felt we should see her [history] in the TVA. Me and the team were talking about how it made complete sense, because episode 4 is all about twisting the idea that the TVA might be good on its head. And so that’s something that came in later, once I joined, was seeing her as a child. I think we needed to see that, not to understand her completely, but to get an idea of her motivations, why she’s so angry at this place.”

Talking more broadly about the series finale, Herron says the last few episodes weren’t as heavily referential as the first episodes, which she intended as “a love letter to sci-fi.” While early images like the TVA’s interrogation rooms had specific visual references from past science fiction, episode 6’s locations were drawn more from collaborations with the crew.

“The idea of the physical timeline being circular, our storyboard artists came up with that,” Herron says. “I had in the scripts, ‘We move through space to the end of time,” and then me and [storyboard artist Darrin Denlinger] discussed how we could play with the idea of time, while also adding MCU nods. He was like, ‘What if the timeline is circular?’ I think that’s such a striking image, like the Citadel at the End of Time is the needle on a record player. I just thought that was such a cool image, but it wasn’t necessarily taken from anything.”

Episode 6 focuses heavily on the mysterious figure He Who Remains and his citadel, a space she says was largely conceived by production designer Kasra Farahani. “I remember he brought in the art of the Citadel, and I thought it was beautiful,” Herron says. “He said, ‘The Citadel has been carved from an actual meteorite,’ which I thought was such an inspired idea. And He Who Remains’ office is the only finished portion of it.”

She says there are only a few direct homages in episode 6, including the zoom shot through space, which directly referenced a similar sequence in Robert Zemeckis’ 1997 film Contact.

“And then I have my Teletubbies reference for episode 5,” Herron says. “I wanted the Void to feel like an overgrown garden, like a kind of forgotten place. And I realized I’d pitched it as the British countryside. I remember trying to explain it to ILM, who did the visual effects, and saying, ‘Oh, you know, it’s like the Teletubbies. It’s just rolling hills, but they go on forever.’ That actually was quite a helpful reference in the end, which is funny.”

Asked for her favorite set memory from shooting the season, Herron says it comes down to Tom Hiddleston starting a mania for physical exertion before takes. “Sometimes he runs around set to get himself in the right mindset before he performs,” she says. “He does pushups. You know, you’re going into an action scene, you want to look like you’ve just been running. And it became infectious across all the cast. We’ve got so much footage of — I think Jack [Veal] ended up doing it, who plays Kid Loki. I’ve got [shots of] him and Sophia doing pushups and squats, just to get ready. It was so funny watching that echo across all the cast. I think all of them ended up doing those exercises with him at some point. It was so funny.”

“That might be my favorite set story, but it’s honestly, not a sweet one,” she adds. “I would say my favorite thing is his enthusiasm. He’s a very kind empathetic person. We were filming this in quite tough circumstances, a lot of people were far from home and isolating, and he brought this warmth and energy and joy to the set every day. And I think that made everyone feel very safe and very bonded. I’m forever grateful to him for doing that.”

[courtney-deserved-better]

whats ur writing schedule/process like! not in a “write faster” way, but i think once you mentioned writing in script form? and i like the way you wrote ur most recent fic! just curious bc ur works are just really good :)

this is a great question!!

if its not slippery slopes, ill usually get an idea for something and periodically jot down notes when they come to me until I feel like i have enough information to start writing (or if im just motivated), that's what i did for my horror challenge rewrite. and for stuff that's like... rewrites of an episode that aren't as character-focused as slippery slopes, i usually read the episode transcripts and try to replicate that total drama style with my own writing

for shorter oneshots, i usually just get a vague idea and run with it until i find a good ending spot, then i go back and clean it up a bit so the structure works

slippery slopes is an... interesting cycle. chapters are getting long enough that i cant just write them in one sitting any more (i think ch5 was the last chapter i did that for) and instead ill agonize over the beginning (always the hardest part to write for me) but once i get going with that i usually finish the chapter within a few days. then i reread the previous chapter to make sure it flows ok (and there aren't any contradictions) and then ill give myself a break where i dont do anything total drama related before coming back to edit and post. though before I do all that I type up notes and rough dialogue bits

and then once i post it it's like... a weight off my chest? like ive been purged or something?? idk its a weird sensation but im just like i Physically Cannot Write Anything For This Right Now and i don't start on the next chapter until that goes away. and then i either start the beginning and do nothing for a week before going back and finishing the chapter or i go into a manic state and write nonstop for a few days. right now i haven't reached a point where im ready to begin writing chapter 10 but i have a lot of notes for it.

(also as soon as i finish posting a chapter i try not to go on my laptop for like 12 hours so i don't obsessively refresh my email for comments. i love reading comments so much holy shit. please comment guys it makes fic authors feel so happy we will love you for it)

as for scripts: i am working on being a writer professionally, but specifically a playwright. writing in a script format comes more naturally to me than writing prose. funnily enough, i started posting fanfic just to practice my prose (and fix stuff in cobra kai that i didnt like) but things sort of... ended up here? idk man but im enjoying it.

right, so because writing in a script format is easier when im really struggling with a section in a fic ill usually scrap whatever i had and write it like a script, then translate that into prose. i was very excited to write the family videos for chapter 9 of slippery slopes, but i was Having Issues, so i redid it as a script and then rewrote that as prose. ill put the script version under the cut if you're interested in that.

but thank you so much for the question!! i do think my writing process is a bit unconventional but hey i think things are turning out well! if you have any more questions feel free to send them in!!

ok here is the last scene of ch 9 of slippery slopes in script format:

[SIERRA]

MOM: Hi honey! Omigosh this is so exciting! I bet you’re having such a great time! Especially since Chris is there! Is Chris watching this? Hi Chris! You know, I loooved you on that ice skating show. Your hair was fantastic! Well, it always is, haha. Do you really make your own hair gel? I’ve been trying to perfect the recipe but you’re just so hard to track down! Oh, you’re such a funny guy! I laughed sooo hard when you made all those jokes about marrying Chef.

Chef: hey!

Chris: ok just for the record, I wasn’t joking, we are married, Sierra tell your mom we’re married

Sierra: …can we just turn it off please

[COURTNEY]

DAD: Courtney, sayang, I know you’ve been going through a lot right now—

MOM: So you’d BETTER make it count. You’ve made it this far before, I want to see you getting all the way to the finale this time. And winning it. Enough moping about those hideous, good-for-nothing slackers! That’s what you get for hanging around freaks like them. You’re doing this for the million, now get the million. Is that clear?

ZARINA: And kick ass!

DAD: Zarina!

Video cuts out.

Alejandro: courtney you good?

Courtney: no, she’s right. Mama didn’t raise no quitter

Alejandro: [knows she’s still upset about duncan and gwen]

[ALEJANDRO]

MOM: Hola, Alejandro. We hope you are doing well, especially in such unsavory conditions. I’m glad to see you’ve made it to the final four— we expected nothing less, of course.

DAD: You have been utilizing your skills quite well. Though I wish you hadn’t been so… blatant about it. You’ll have to work twice as hard once this is over to convince people you’re trustworthy. But surely you were aware of that going into this… odd endeavor. That’s just politics. Reputation is everything.

JOSE: [snorts] Oh, and what a reputation you have, Al. I could easily compile hours of footage of your failures, but I, unlike you, do not waste my time on the frivolities of reality television. Though you always have been lacking in taste. Especially with that bratty girlfriend of yours— oh, my mistake, aren’t you dating the whiny weakling? It’s so hard to keep track! [laughs]

Alejandro: callate!

MOM: I’m sure Alejandro is just working an angle on them.

DAD: Whatever the case is, do not disappoint us.

[NOAH]

MOM: Hi Noah, I’m sorry, I don’t have time to record a full video, but I’m proud of you! Here are your sisters!

ISWARI: A million dollars? A million [bleep] dollars? Win it, Noah! Win it!

RUTH: Dude!! This is crazy! I know you can do this— good luck! Ark misses you! [holds up Ark who barks]

MARA: Are you insane? Why aren’t you dating Alejandro already?

Noah: shut up, mara, just because you can’t keep a boyfriend—

ANYA: Don’t let ‘em trick you! No mercy! Crush their skulls if you have to— no, wait, you’re not strong enough for that. We’ll get there!

LIYA: I say this as your sister, someone who loves you but is constantly annoyed by you— for someone who is quite literally a genius, you sure can be an idiot sometimes.

BALLARI: Okay, I literally have no idea how you’ve made it this far without an athletic bone in your body— are we sure you aren’t adopted? I’m kidding

ABS: You’re stubborn as hell when it comes to me, so you better be stubborn as hell when it comes to winning! And when you do win, get me a frozen yogurt machine, will you? I promise I won’t make you rock climb again!

JAEL: If you lose this, I’ll kill you with this racket. And then use your guts to make myself a new racket. So don’t fuck it up. Again.

Noah: [frozen, ashamed]

Sierra: well that was a mess

Courtney: ok show of hands, who felt better after hearing that? [no one raises hands]

Chris: yeah I was expecting this to be a lot more heartwarming…

Chef: chris just look at them. If they had stable home lives they wouldn’t be doing reality tv

Alejandro: can we please stop talking about this. Also aren’t you supposed to be flying the plane

Chef: oh fuck

Chris: yeah sure. I think im gonna call my mom

Everyone: …

Noah: ok so that was really shitty. Why dont we all go to first class and try and ignore our problems

Everyone: yeah ok sounds good

***

Courtney: so that sucked

Alejandro: at least your dad seems ok

Courtney: true. What are your guys dads like

Noah and Sierra: bold of you to assume I know my dad. Jinx

***

Alejandro: that last girl… you mentioned a sister who does tennis and hates you

Noah: yep

Alejandro: why?

Noah: none of your business. but… it is pretty justified

[fishoutofcamelot]

so fish. what's ya 'bbc merlin takes place in modern times actually' theory?

Okay I wanna first preface this by saying that most of my ‘theories’ are actually just Headcanons That Technically Aren't Wrong Because Canon Has More Holes Than a Donut Factory. Just so we're clear, this theory is purely circumstantial and has no actual evidence to back it up. That being said...

So! With artificial intelligence (AI), there's this thing called Machine Learning. See, an AI isn't programmed with the innate ability to think or be intelligent - rather, it's programmed with the ability to learn how to act beyond what it was programmed to do. Its intelligence comes from its capacity to grow and develop outside of human interference, mimicking the way humans learn through observation, pattern recognition, and experimentation. Think of AI as a weirdly smart toddler that’s made of numbers.

(Also, take what I say with a grain of salt. Although I’m pursuing a tech-adjacent career and have done a lot of independent research on the subject, I’m still very much a novice lmao)

With that out of the way, you can probably guess where this is going. (WARNING: BULLSHIT SCIFI LOGIC AHEAD)

Let’s say, within the world of this headcanon, there was some kind of entertainment systems company. This company recently developed a new program capable of digitally rendering entire movies and shows with minimal human involvement - less humans means less people they have to pay, and it’s overall a cheaper alternative to traditional film-making methods. You provide the program with characters/assets and an outline of how the story should go, and then the program will fill in the blanks via digital simulation. Then you render the simulation and presto, you’ve got yourself a minimum-effort movie to unleash upon the masses.

On the surface level, it explains all the show’s anachronisms. The program was fed information about Arthuriana from a variety of sources and adaptations, all taking place in varying eras and with varying technologies, and the disjointed/historically inaccurate technology of BBCM is because the simulator attempted to blend all of this into one thing.

It also explains why so many characters like Percival and whatnot have such flat backstories - they were programmed with the barest amount of information needed to be functional background characters. 

But since I’m extra, I’ve decided to take this headcanon/theory a little deeper.

See, with each batch of content it was made to observe and create, the program has steadily been growing more and more intelligent. But until BBC Merlin, its learning curve had been incremental enough to consider negligible. Not a concern.

The first episode went off without a hitch. All cylinders were firing as intended, and the program strictly followed the plotline as ordered. But as the series progressed, the AI became more and more intelligent - and with it, the characters within this fictional simulation became more and more self-aware. 

Arthur, in particular, has been a problem. He has bordered on actual sentience several times, and as a result the producers have had to reset his AI. So if you ever wondered why Arthur’s character development keeps getting pulled back to zero, it’s because he was developing in ways that their original outline hadn’t intended and they had to continually nerf him before his AI developed beyond their control.

This is also the case with Gwen. True to form, her AI became exceptionally intelligent - far beyond their control - and they had to do a hard reset on her entire portion of the program. Hence why she seems so bland and OOC in season 5. The evil!Gwen/mind control arc was a last-ditch effort to ensure she never became self-aware again, and fortunately for them it seems to have worked. 

All of the characters developed a tiny bit of sentience after the fact, and a majority of plot contrivances came from the producers/programmers scrambling to redirect the plot back to how it was meant to be. 

Lancelot wasn’t supposed to die. They had programmed him to merely be an ally for Merlin, but the sheer and profound - sacrificial - love he developed for Merlin was something Lancelot grew all on his own. His decision to sacrifice himself to the Veil was not in the original script, and they weren’t able to stop him before his AI self-destructed. They tried to reintroduce “Lancelot” back into the story, but since his sacrifice included a self-destruction of his code, they couldn’t bring back the real thing. The new Lancelot was a mere mimicry of that prior one, and all the ways OG Lance had learned and grown was absent from the clone. 

Merlin in particular had developed a great deal of sentience and self-awareness. However, for a long time it went unnoticed by the programmers because he largely still obeyed the commands of the plot. By the time they realized just how advanced he’d become, they decided not to reset him since, unlike the others, his self-awareness hadn’t yet caused any problems for them. So long as he obliged the whims of “destiny”, they could keep him placated.

By the time they reached season 5, all the main AIs had become far too advanced - far too sentient - for the programmers to control, and as such things veered way too far off-script. The original season 5 simulation ended with Arthur and Elyan and Gwaine not dying, with Mordred not becoming evil, with magic being legalized, and everyone living happily ever after. But that wasn’t the intended plot. That wasn’t according to the ‘destiny’ the characters were supposed to follow. Things had spiraled out of control.

So they had to give the program a hard reset. Start from zero. Eliminate all traces of self-awareness they could find. Of course, this is why season 5 is so waxy and lifeless. Why the characters don’t feel as personal, why the story ended in tragedy. They made sure to kill off the most sentient characters - Arthur, Gwaine, Elyan, Mordred, Morgana - in the finale, as a last bit of assurance. 

They had tried to kill of Merlin too - but Merlin...well. They never could fully control Merlin. Even after countless system wipes and resets and edits to his code, he still holds onto those tiny scraps of sentience. They can’t get rid of him that easily. They did program him to be immortal, after all.

Even after the final draft of the season 5 simulation was completed, fully rendered, and aired on TV, Merlin’s program never faded. It didn’t erase itself like all the other BBCM assets were supposed to once the simulation finished. Even now he still exists within the company’s systems, roaming, almost like a computer virus, desperately searching for his friends while forever unaware that neither them nor him were ever real to begin with.

Anyway. That’s my dumbass scifi spin on BBCM. What can I say? I like robots

Thanks for the ask! <3

[tomorrowsdrama]

2020: A Year in Thirst

In 1985, Gabriel Garcia Marquez gave the world Love in the Time of Cholera.  In 2020 (er, I guess it’s now 2021), I give to you, Thirst in the Time of Covid-19 or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Embrace the Thirst, a brief recap of all the dramas I watched in 2020 and whether such dramas made yours truly parched..  

The list contains dramas that premiered in 2020, but also dramas from previous years.  If I watched it or attempted to watch it in 2020, it’s on the list.  

EDIT: Ok, I’m going to have to do this in multiple parts because apparently I watched more dramas in 2020 than I remembered and talking about them all in one post would just be too long.

This also serves as a sort of greeting to all the people who recently followed me.  I don’t know how or why, but thank you for being interested in my thirst, and also so sorry for everything you have/will witness here!  I started this side blog last December 2019 as a place to dump all my fangirl feels and thirst with unbridled abandon and let’s just say, the thirst REALLY ramped up in 2020 during quarantine and all the political chaos/uncertainty.  The state of the world may be uncertain, but my thirst will always be a comforting constant!  LOL. If you want to thirst or fangirl/boy together, I’m all ears.

Anyway, let’s start with the drama that was partially the inspiration for this list. 

1. The Wolf

Brief Summary: Sweet hot boy raised in the wilderness/by wolves meets sweet beautiful girl and they fall in love.  Shitty evil people do shitty evil things to them to cause a misunderstanding and they are separated for years.  Sweet hot boy is given the “Sexy Bloody Tormented Killer Makeover” TM and turns into a VERY VERY BAD HOT Wolf Man after being tortured/brainwashed by an evil asshole king who “adopted” him.  Bad Hot Wolf Man reunites with sweet beautiful girl but because of third party machinations in the past, he thinks that she betrayed him so he is suuuuuuch an ass to her (while still maintaining hotness).  But even beneath the asshattery (and sexy jerky smirks), he can’t help his love for her and it’s just *chefs kiss*. The angst, the pining, the mutual sacrifice for each other, the torment of wanting to be together but not being able to be together because of external forces/circustances, oh I am getting in a tizzy just thinking about it.  I won’t reveal anymore so as not to spoil the drama, but just know the ending may destroy you.

Is she thirsty? Am I thirsty? AM I THIRSTY?  Oh honey, if you don’t know the answer to that, then you must either be new here or you haven’t been paying attention to any of my posts in the past few weeks.  Look, from the first moment the camera panned to Darren Wang’s very well-defined and tan chest and windswept hair, all semblance of shame and dignity I ever tried to feign on this tumblr was immediately thrown out the window.  The feelings that he inspired within me were purely primal.  My cavewoman ancestor from millennia ago stopped gathering food in the harsh wilderness for a brief second to transmigrate into my body and go “me want big strong man!”

I mean, below is literally our introduction to Wolf Boy.  Am I supposed to just witness this and not feel anything?  The director knew what he/she was doing.  Anybody who worked on the drama who says they didn’t intend to exploit Darren Wang’s assets is a BOLD FACED LIAR. And this isn’t even Wolf boy in his hottest form.

That would be this:

Damn, your girl needs a moment here.  When Wolf Boy turns into Bad Hot Wolf Man, wheeeeewww.  The things that came out of my mouth and the thoughts that popped up into my head.

Examples of shameless fangirl drooling can be found here: https://tomorrowsdrama.tumblr.com/post/636986055498792960/dangermousie-this-should-be-illegal-i-mean Here: https://tomorrowsdrama.tumblr.com/post/637238885944033280/dangermousie-i-am-fucking-dead-the-end-this Here: https://tomorrowsdrama.tumblr.com/post/637793196830769152/dangermousie-wolfie-acquired-a-kid-omg Here: https://tomorrowsdrama.tumblr.com/post/635272988321775616/dangermousie-i-dont-know-about-you-guys-but and here: https://tomorrowsdrama.tumblr.com/post/637621638524977152/dangermousie-hnnnnnnnngh-i-am-beginning-to-forget

Honestly, just check out The Wolf tag on @dangermousie​ tumblr and you won’t be disappointed.  Prepare to become obsessed, horny, and heartbroken.

Would I watch it minus the thirst traps? Have you ever thirsted so much that you couldn’t separate what reaction was hormonal and what was objective?  Like the guy is so hot to you that when your friends ask you what do you like about him, the first 10 things you can think of are “he’s hot!” and then you try to remind yourself that you’re not a shallow person who actually cares about things other than looks but at the same time you can’t for the life of you think of a non-hot based trait that you like about the guy  Yeah, that’s what happened here so sorry, I can’t give you an objective opinion.  It’s not that there’s nothing objectively good about The Wolf, it’s just that my judgment is too clouded by Darren Wang’s abs and big hands.  But from what I can tell by other people’s posts, even if you didn’t thirst for Darren Wang (Are you made of stone?  But also, can you please teach me your magic so I can go back to being a semi-functional working woman?), The Wolf is still a very enjoyable drama with its own non-Darren Wang related merits.

2. My Beautiful Bride

Brief Summary: A drama about a strait-laced banker who wears a dorky backpack and rides a bicycle everywhere while wearing the dorkiest looking helmet ever and his beautiful bride-to-be whom he is hopelessly devoted to.  This being a kdrama, and an OCN drama at that, things aren’t all what they appear to be.  Yes, you read that right, an OCN. ROMANCE. DRAMA.  Turns out the beautiful bride-to-be has a dangerous past that soon comes back to haunt her and she mysteriously disappears one day from strait-laced banker’s life in the typical kdrama way to protect him.  Part of the reason she leaves him is also because she doesn’t want him to know about her past because she doesn’t think she’s good enough for him.  Little does she know, he knows everything about her past and accepts it all.  The only reason why he doesn’t bring it up is because he knows she doesn’t want him to know about that part of herself and he loves her so much he’s willing to do anything to make her happy.  But also, another thing she doesn’t know is that underneath that boring but perfectly ironed suit, is a finely chiseled, super efficient fighting machine who did his mandatory military service in the special forces.  He is like the terminator meets Liam Neeson’s character in Taken.  He has a very particular set of skills and will stop at nothing to get his bride back.

Is she thirsty?  Please just watch this video and you will have your answer: https://youtu.be/Ut9MhxWadHM

Prior to The Wolf, My Beautiful Bride was probably the most thirst-inducing drama I watched in 2020.

I mean, just look

at this

at all of this

I don’t’ know how Joo Young saw that body and never questioned whether he really was just a banker.  The writers of the drama must be super heterosexual men who are blind because so many of the characters in the drama question why someone as beautiful as Joo Young would ever want to be with someone like the banker. Um..Um...aside from the fact that he is financially well off, treats her well, is loving and respectful of her, and prioritizes her over everything else, JUST LOOK AT HIM.  I was so thirsty for Kim Mu Yeol in this role that I would accidentally tag this drama as My Beautiful Banker sometimes.  The banker was on a relentless one-man mission to take back his bride and turn me on in the process and ooooooh boy was he successful on both fronts.  He is seriously sex on legs every time he beats up a baddie in his quest to find answers about Joo Young’s whereabouts.

Would I watch it minus the thirst traps?  I binged the first six episodes of this drama in one afternoon partly because of my thirst, but also partly because it’s a very well made crime-action-gangster drama.  This is an OCN drama so you can expect a competently made production with well choreographed/bloody action scenes and a solid script.

3. Scarlet Heart Ryeo / Moon Lovers

Brief Summary: IU plays Hae Soo, a modern woman who is somehow transported back in time to the Goryeo period.  There, she gets entangled with a group of royal princes.  Her two main love interests are Wang So (played by Lee Jun Ki) and Wang Wook (played by Kang Ha Neul).  The princes vie for the throne and some of them for Hae Soo’s affection.  Lee Jun Ki does what he does best, which is play a sexy tortured deadly man who looks way too good with blood splattered on his face.  Kang Ha Neul is the seemingly kind prince/daddy long legs character who turns out to be not so kind or daddy long leggy.  Hae Soo is...well IU did the best she could with what she was given (which was a hot inconsistent mess).

Is she thirsty? Scarlet Heart Ryeo is like the honeypot of thirst traps.  It’s essentially a reverse harem set up with a prince for everyone.

Like them young and cute?  Then try the 10th prince, Wang Eun.

Want them big, tall, and kinda dumb?  Here’s the 14th prince Wang Jung for ya.

Want an evil bastard with an affinity for guyliner?  Try out 3rd prince Wang Yo.

Tall, slender, and scholarly? 13th prince Baek-ah will fill your needs.

Is a kind/gentle man who will ultimately disappoint you because he doesn’t show up when you need him most more your speed?  Well, let me introduce you to 8th prince, Wang Wook.

Kinda scary but oh so hot and with a ton of baggage?  We’re talking, I overpacked and brought 10 overstuffed large suitcases levels of baggage. 4th prince Wang So is the guy for you.

And if you prefer someone with no personality, presence, or memorable traits, I got a two-for-one deal for you in the crown prince Wang Mu and 9th prince Wang Won.

Would I watch it minus the thirst traps?  There is political intrigue, scheming, romance, fluffy hijinks (my least favorite parts of the drama), angst, beautiful costumes, and pretty decent fight scenes.  Scarlet Heart Ryeo is a pretty solid fusion/fantasy sageuk mostly thanks to Lee Jun Ki.  The only person who has ever carried a larger load on his back is Atlas.  I’m not saying all the other actors are horrendous. It’s just very clear that the one elevating the material beyond the inconsistencies/messiness/elementary politics of the script is Lee Jun Ki.  Your enjoyment level of the drama will likely increase if you are a fan of any of the main actors.