#and more hypotheses kept coming to mind

[pigeons-paintbrush]

papyrus and gaster are opposites, almost, in a way. and yet the pieces fit together so well. im talking about how gasters name is mostly forgotten after his death, and how papyrus name is mostly forgotten until after he's killed.

i dont know what to make of it, but theres something there. perhaps that gaster is forgotten because he was meant to be there, and papyrus is forgotten because he isn't meant to be there. that both names arent spoken by most, until after they're both gone. the public doesnt say papyrus' name, but none of the main characters speak gaster's. maybe that they are the same person and changed after an accident, or perhaps they merged across timelines and worlds, putting themselves both into a situation they do not belong in. maybe papyrus somehow accidentally took gaster's place in this timeline, and thats why he doesnt belong.

but it's only after they have both left that the universe deems it appropriate they be remembered by a name. no ones supposed to be there any more. no ones supposed to not exist. the paradox, the contradiction- it's solved now. they are both dead. is this anythign

@sunsestart @forgettable-au

What do you two think?

[alastorss]

Hi! I hope you're having a good day! I've been thinking, how would Alastor react to the reader casually saying stuff like "I like your laugh, it's nice," and "You voice is really soothing," out of the blue.

a/n: oh i loooooved writing this ^ ^ he would 100% be the type to try and hide that he actually likes the compliments but fail miserably. thank you and i hope you like this!

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

You'd like to say you know everything about Alastor, but that's far from the truth.

You know his mother's jambalaya recipe, sure, and that he takes his coffee black. You've memorized the intro of his morning broadcast, and learned the feeling of his chin propped on your shoulder.

There are pieces of Alastor you know like the back of your hand, but somehow you've never even scratched the surface of deciphering him. He was just like that, you suppose—an enigma wrapped in another mystery that would take a lifetime to unravel.

The only thing he liked more than his secrets was keeping them, after all.

And he especially enjoyed toying with you—dangling little tidbits of trivia about him in front of your face and snatching it away when you inevitably took the bait. He'd laugh about it, too, saying you were so adorable for trying.

For some time you had hypothesized that his ears were a good way of gauging his real thoughts about matters, but he was irritatingly good at controlling those as well. Not even the slightest twitch to give away his inner monologue.

"You are so annoying, you know that?" You once told him while brushing your teeth, words coming out muffled from your toothbrush. Minty foam gathered at your mouth while you glared at him through the reflection in the mirror.

He only laughed, as he always did, and propped his chin on your shoulder.

"How rude!" He chastised you playfully.

You leaned down to rinse your mouth. "I'm just saying," you muttered after standing tall again, "I wish I knew what was going through that head of yours sometimes."

Unsurprisingly, Alastor's expression was unreadable.

He opted to bite your cheek and walk away from the conversation after that, not bothering to enlighten you even slightly.

You watched him from across the bathroom, eyeing the way his shadow danced around him with a mind of its own before it disappeared into the darkness.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

His downfall began with a comment you made after you ended up falling asleep with your head on his shoulder.

He had been reading the latest article about the Vees to you out loud, practically singing his amusement with how terrible this column had painted out Vox to be. With fame came criticism, of course, and Alastor would happily sit there and criticize Vox all day if he could.

Your head hit his shoulder quick and he sighed, ears perking at the familiar sound of your slowing breaths. (He didn't bother waking you. It's not like he had much else to do at the time.)

"Your voice is so soothing," you shrugged when you finally awoke. "The static is like... comforting white noise for me, or something."

'Or something?' he wanted to ask.

He didn't, because he didn't really care for an explanation further than that. (He definitely didn't avoid prying because he felt something warm in his chest knowing you thought that way about him.)

It kept happening after that, as much as he wishes it didn't.

Little comments you slid into conversation so casually—tiny compliments and teases that drove him up the wall. They were softening him up, flattering him in dangerous ways.

The demon felt his sanity wearing thin with each passing day, making tremendous efforts to hide the way your slips made him warm.

He's sure he is about to crack. At any moment, his ears will flick or his cheeks will cherub with genuine joy because you can't keep your words to yourself. But he's done well for himself thus far, pat on the back, for not gratifying you.

He mentally groans when you join him at the bar, eyeing his drink. "It's the middle of the day," you point out.

"And you've come to scold me?" He tuts.

"I've come to join you, actually."

Alastor chuckles, voice missing it's usual static filter. He reaches over to pour you a glass when you smile at him.

"You have a nice laugh."

He nearly shatters the glass in his hands.

You snicker quietly, leaning over the bar to creep under his face which is scrunched up in concentration.

"What's wrong? I like your laugh, you should do it more!"

Taking a deep breath, the Radio Demon reaches over to pinch your nose. You yelp and jerk away from him, glaring.

"Flattery will get you nowhere~" he sings.

Your head tilts to the side in confusion. There's a smugness to your gaze that makes him feel like a trapped animal, and he realizes that you've known all along what you've done to him.

"Oh, but I think it does," you laugh, nodding to his shadow burned into the floor.

Its smile is uncharacteristically soft, missing all semblance of its usual fangs and sharp edges. Howling in embarrassment, the shadow dives away, abandoning its owner to confront you alone.

All this time, his shadow had been the one betraying him. Through all the times he had forced his ears to stay rigid, with all the effort to maintain his mask of indifference, you'd seen where he had overlooked.

His jaw clenches so hard he can feel his teeth grinding into each other. "You are perceptive, my dear."

"No," you giggle. "You're just bad at hiding how you feel. I think it's cute."

Alastor glowers at you, but his ears flop back and forth atop his head at your praise anyway.

~

taglist (i totally forgot i'm sorry!!): @the-lake-is-calling @dragons-and-dwarves-are-nice @averylonelysea @bri22222 @cxrsedwxrlds @amarokofficial @anae-naea-zacheria @for-hearthand-home @fantasy-is-best @angixyc @th3-st4r-gur1 (send and ask to be added!)

[docochocart]

DOCORONPA R

CHAPTER SIX

[ daily ]

Drummer had to be dragged out of the courtroom following the unexplained dismissal of the fifth trial. She kicked and screamed the whole way back to camp.

Once again, a firm slap from PT would stun her enough for her only remaining cabin-mate to get through:

"Go the fuck to sleep. You're acting bananas bro. For real."

Drummer wanted to return the slap so badly for a moment, PT's dismissal of her grief boiling in her racing mind. Instead she decided to lay back and hold her tongue. Even she knew PT was right, she was acting bananas.

She lay facing the wall completely still as Ice Skater entered the cabin and settled into her bunk. This wasn't the time for confrontation.

Drummer tried her best to settle down after the sharp intervention from PT. While her body lay still, her mind raced on manically.

Things would be different tomorrow.

...

Drummer's eyes cracked open, reacting to the sound of PT's morning stretches. Surprisingly, she'd managed to get a decent amount of sleep that night.

It took Drummer sitting up for PT to notice she'd awoken the girl, profusely apologizing for doing so.

By the time PT had finished stammering out her desperate apology, Drummer had fully gained consciousness. She ignored her friend's pleas, simply asking:

"Where is Ice Skater?"

...

Personal Trainer anxiously followed in the wake of Drummer's determined march to the Craft Hall. She could barely get out her "no wait-" before Drummer had violently kicked in the entry door.

Drummer stood wide legged in the doorway, blocking PT out on the other side. The towering girl anxiously waited behind her, not wanting to poke the bear.

As she'd hoped, everybody else had already gathered for breakfast. It seemed like nobody wanted to risk being alone after last week's events.

Drummer spoke diligently and sharply, cutting to the point without hesitation:

"Unless we all want to die here we have to work as a team. If anybody here doesn't understand that, they don't deserve our community."

Rebel crooked an eyebrow at her pointed remark, but was kept at bay by a gesture from Ice Skater. Given the silence, Drummer continued:

"Working as a team means complete and total honesty. No more secrets without consequences."

Ice Skater finally chimed in, shocking even Rebel with her response:

"I agree."

Drummer didn't waste a second pouncing on this opportunity, egging her on:

"Then tell us what you know."

Without a beat, Ice Skater did just that:

"There's been a traitor in our midst."

This didn't come as much of a shock to anybody but Sailor, who'd seemed to not understand any of the previous night's events.

Ice Skater continued on, explaining that her and Rebel had begun colluding information relatively early into the game.

Their main findings were the many entrances to the system of tunnels scattered throughout the camp, each of which they had marked for further investigation.

Rebel explained that the first time he'd found one open was following the first trial. Upon entering, he'd followed it through to an exit on the other side of camp. This was his first suspicion of foul play amongst the campers.

The second time he'd found one open was following the second trial. He once again took the opportunity to potentially escape outside of camp, this time succeeding and winding up on the farm.

Ice Skater retook the floor, divulging her theory that the traitor had left these tunnels open on purpose. She hypothesized that it would be an easy way to guide the group and drive suspicion onto Rebel.

Rebel angrily dismissed that idea, claiming that it was probably just a bug in the system.

Ignoring his retort, Ice Skater moved on to their second major finding:

"Everybody here has an implant just behind their ear."

Once again, this was sort of old news at this point. The group still waited on baited breath for some clarity on this horrific notion.

Ice Skater explained that one morning while Marine Biologist was styling her hair, she asked how she'd gotten her scar. Ice Skater had swallowed the shock in that moment and lied that she had taken a nasty fall on the ice.

Of course, she was lying. She'd never had a scar there and immediately sensed something was very wrong.

Knowing better than to share this fear with Marine Biologist, she took the concerning scar to Rebel. They would quickly discover the same scar behind his ear, leading them to begin rattling off ideas.

After the events on the farm, it was nearly cemented in their minds that they had been chipped with something. It would explain the strange effects the frequencies played over the loudspeakers had on them.

According to Ice Skater, Marine Biologist had discovered her scar on her own following the fourth trial. Drummer wasn't quick to buy this explanation, but let her continue:

"Our theory is that the traitor is not in the remaining body of campers. We believe they reside below in the tunnels."

She continued, positing that their "implants" were used to affect their mental states. She coldly gestured to a still shaken Drummer as an example.

She finished her dissertation with the statement that "their goal is to keep us divided." Referring to the fifth trials clear attempt at framing the least popular among them as an example.

After making her very compelling evaluation on the inner workings of this game, it was Drummers turn to formulate a plan:

"We're going to burn this camp to the fucking ground."

For a moment everyone seemed to assume this to be hyperbole, pausing to react. Once understanding how serious she was, the least determined amongst them began their predictable protest.

Sailor and Welder both harshly rejected the idea, questioning where they would sleep and eat. Drummer sharply spoke over their whining:

"It sounds like you want to die here. Is your comfort more important than your life?"

Before the two buffoons could get another word in, Ice Skater once again shocked the room with her interjection:

"She's right."

Sailor and Welder shuddered at this response, understanding that the two biggest powers in the room were in full agreement. Resistance was likely futile.

Even with the sudden lack of push back from the gruesome twosome, Drummer justified the idea to the room:

"We're here for a reason. They need us here. They've built an entire system around keeping us alive, controlled and sustained here. We can't take any part in it. Not until we have some answers."

Sailor let out a deep sigh before angrily grunting:

"Fine, fine. We'll burn down the fucking camp."

...

Drummer's merciless leadership was in full swing. She had full control over this operation, dictating everybody's jobs and how they were to be done. The list went as followed:

Welder would spend their time gathering any dead leaves or pine needles they could find, raking them into large piles.

Sailor and Personal Trainer would then carry those piles back to the camp in loads, each competing for who could lift more.

Rebel and Ice Skater would then strategically spread the dead brush throughout the camp to guide the flame. Without the aid of gasoline this was their best shot for maximum destruction.

Drummer guided the expedition with a fiery passion.

MonoMaton half-heartedly pleaded with the class to not go through with this while they worked, imploring them to "find a more productive use of their time."

This of course did nothing to stop the campers from following through with their plans, however the sheep persisted:

"No food, no water, no bed to lay your little heads on. Is that what you really want?"

Only Sailor seemed swayed by these deceptions, but he was kept sharp by the barking commands coming from Drummer.

After a few hours of work, the scene was set for their class act of rebellion. There couldn't be a game with nowhere to film it, after all.

Everybody gathered in the center of base camp, where the thickly stacked trails of dead flora met for their approaching ignition.

MonoMaton stood a few meters away, hopelessly bartering for the campers to just stop:

"Is this what you reallllllly want?"

The cast continued ignoring the plush, all gathering around to finally start the flame. When it was completely certain that the camp would go up in flames, MonoMaton finally gave in:

"Fine! Guess we'll do this the hard way."

A new tone blared through the camp, immediately rendering the cast to their knees.

The pain was so great and the tone so loud that Drummer couldn't even make out the screams of her peers. All she could do was suffer.

The following lack of consciousness would come as a relief.

To Be Continued...

[gyrovagi]

Does it strike you as odd that having that utilizing the Seeker ritual isn't ever floated as an option to deal with lyrium addiction in cannon? Seekers do seem to have some resistance to the effects of both blue and red lyrium, while maintaining templar powers. Anyway, do you think that's a solution Caden would have ever attempted for his whole situation? I don't expect it would work for the doylist reason that the man is no fun if he's not suffering, but how do you think it would go? how do you think the Seekers fit into the templar gender politics?

i was in fact thinking about this the other day. it does make sense, in-world, that the chantry kept the seekers small and secretive both due to the apparent difficulty of the ritual and because the templars are more easily controllable through the lyrium supply. but it IS weird that nobody even floats the idea of former templars becoming seekers. granted, the seekers as an order exist in a quantum state post-inquisition, and we don't really know how necessary the whole "full year of fasting, prayer, and separation from all distractions" is to gain their powers, which is obviously an incredibly involved process in comparison to handing out doses of lyrium.

it's also possible that actively taking lyrium interferes with that process, so you have to quit first, and then spend a year in total isolation afterwards (you wouldn't be in the right mindset for total isolation while experiencing withdrawal symptoms anyway), which is a logistical nightmare. lambert was a templar first before he became a seeker though...? i mean, you can brute force the tranquility part with the brand (codex entry seems to indicate seekers get branded but cassandra never mentions that, which seems like something you would mention), but ethical questions of that aside, it's getting the spirit to help out that's the sticking point.

sidebar to hypothesize on how exactly seeker powers work: they're a little bit possessed, right? they can't be possessed by demons or be mind controlled because the spirit of faith is already there, or enough of its influence is left behind to offer resistance. (see: justice emerging to resist corypheus' attempt to control anders.) they're literally doing spirit warrior shit and just being lied to about it. which is an entirely separate ideological hurdle to contend with.

in terms of gender politics, the seekers occupy a strange position that highlights the precarious gender-power hierarchy going on - they're under the direct supervision of the female divine, who uses them to police the templars. when it comes down to it, the seekers identify with the emasculated templars more than anything - the former lord seeker lambert was a templar before he became a seeker, and lucius commandeers the templars before he (or the envy demon imitating him, i guess) derides the chantry's priesthood as scared old women. my feelings about the execution/implications of cassandra's romance aside, she clearly feels that her more 'feminine' interests/leanings are incompatible with her role as a warrior of the faith.

(i do wish the seekers felt like they had more of a unique identity past 'the cooler templars,' if they leaned more into the secret police thing we could get something fun going, be a little gender ambiguous with it. but that didn't happen <3)

as for caden, he has... a lot of very complicated feelings about continuing to take lyrium post-trespasser, and his go-to solution for complicated feelings is to repress them and keep it moving. i could definitely see cassandra suggesting he tries to become a seeker, and he'd agree that it seems like a good idea when (if) it ever looks feasible, but to him it's never going to look feasible. to whatever degree he may resent solas for, from his perspective, forcing him back onto lyrium, it's also sensible to say that you can't really afford to weaken yourself with a world-ending threat at large. and now solas is the world-ending threat at large. and yeah i want him to suffer

[fatuismooches]

So i just read your post about the monster-fox'torre and i got an idea.

Dottore is extremely intelligent, but even geniuses like him sometimes fail - hypotheses turn out to be incorrect, experiements go wrong, etc. Now what if...

As expected, the first Segment creation ended up in failure. Instead of a clone-like copy of himself, he created a black monster-looking creature with a red eye in a middle. Figuring he can't just set the tiny monstrosity lose, he kept it in his lab depths to prevent it from being seen by anyone ever again. But Dottore underestimated the curiosity of bored Fragile!Reader.

One day, Fragile!Reader wakes up feeling much better than usual and takes a stroll around massive laboratory, exploring the endless maze of corridors. That's when they meet *that*. To their own surprise, the little monster doesn't appear hostile in the slightlest and eyes them with just as curious look as the reader. So what does the Fragile Reader does? Yep. They claim the little monster as their property.

Dottore freezes when he walks in on Fragile Reader casually playing with the little fluffy monster in their bed, cuddling it, giving it headpats, telling it how adorable it is. "(Name), where did you find that?". His lover has a beaming smile on their faces and explain themselves but the explanation soon leads to a begging marathon - they want to keep the little monstrosity! After awhile, Dottore gives in.

For Dottore's surprise, after the little monster was adopted by Fragile Reader, their health condition has taken a turn for the better. Much better. They seem a lot happier and the positive emotions keep their illness state stable. How can he not allow the little monstrosity stay, then?

His heart completely melts when he finds reader cuddling the little monster like a severely oversized teddy bear.

- 🐺 (is this emoji taken, btw? I sent an ask previously, but you can ignore it, it is fine 😅)

THIS MADE ME SO HAPPY IT'S ADORABLEEEEE 😭😭💖💖

He knew that the clone making process wasn’t going to be an easy one, but he still didn’t expect to fail this bad. The thing didn’t have anything at all that resembled a human! It was a little abomination, he thought, one mistake of many to come. Though he could destroy it right now, it may have some use in the future. So he just chucked it with his other failed experiments and prototypes, not thinking much of it.

Unfortunately for Dottore, the little creature is more intelligent that he thought and you are also quite adventurous. You always knew Dottore was quite innovative and always working on something new in his lab - oftentimes he’d keep you updated on his progress and frustrations - but you didn’t hear anything about a little creature that didn’t even reach your knees! Admittedly, you were a bit nervous at first, but how could you resist that cute little thing peering at you so cutely! It doesn’t resist when you pat it tentatively, and instead leans into your hand like a touch-starved baby. And it’s so soft and fluffy yet light and you can just scoop it up into your arms! Surely Dottore wouldn’t mind if you just… took it for a bit? If it was important, it wouldn’t be out here roaming the deepest depths of the lab anyway.

He’s initially a bit concerned about you hanging out with this thing because he doesn’t know what it’s capable of, but after a quick examination he deems it relatively harmless. He doesn’t exactly share or understand your fondness (you certainly find strange things to be “cute”… first him, now this little monstrosity) but it seems to make you happy, so he sees no harm in letting you keep it. This wasn’t the first time you took interest in his experiments anyway. And how can he resist when you’re giving him such an adorable look?

He comes to realize that it genuinely makes you happy. The little thing keeps a smile on your face, and it helps you get out of bed sometimes. It’s like your pet, in a way. Even though it doesn’t need to eat. It just requires cuddles, according to you. And it also likes baths, and high-quality shampoo (it has to keep its fur fluffy, once again according to you. Dottore had no clue you were that attached to it.)

…The only problem is that sometimes the little creature decides to lay on the bed while the two of you are cuddling, and every time Dottore tries to kick it out but you don’t let him because you feel bad.

[lokistemptress]

Bruce Banner & Katherine G. Baudelaire head cannons - the clairvoyant

Mostly just getting to know Kat

some of it is nsfw, but it's mostly sfw

she's always been a huge smoker. she's not allowed to smoke in the lab of course, huge fire hazard. but she's always like "i'll just magically put it out' with like an eyeroll, but that's not the point. whenever she smokes (mostly anywhere in the compound, but mostly in the lab), bruce or tony will just pluck it form between her finger tips or lips.

all the mirrors in her house is covered with blankets and cloths. she hates mirrors cause sometimes when she sees her own reflection, she gets premonitions about her future and she never really wants to know.

aside from cigarette smoke, katherine also smells like roses or lavenders depending on the season (rose in spring-summer, lavender in autumn-winter)

she's a big fan of the 60s, loves the jewelry, the hair, the music. there's always some sort of 60s song playing in the background. 

while bruce sometimes has trouble handling his anger, katherine on the other hand can hardly control her sadness. she feels everyone's emotions more than they do, so sometimes she'll just randomly start crying and bruce will freak out every time, but katherine just carries on like nothing's happening. 

if i were to compare katherine to an already physical tv/movie character, i'd say she's most similar to penelope garcia from criminal minds. she also hates going by her full name and prefers kat or katy.

she has such a hard time falling asleep, to strange dreams that come true, to not liking the feeling of relaxation, i think she and bruce enjoy doing yoga or something calming together in the mornings. 

she carries a huge purse with some legal and some illegal pharmaceuticals "you never know what you're gonna need."  "kat this is weed..." "so?"  "we're grocery shopping!"

her powers are pretty similar to wanda's, but she doesn't need to get inside someone's head to know what they're thinking, she can feel it. her personal favorite power is clairvoyancy, which is the ability to touch an object or a person, and see thing's about it. this power more so affects the futuristic aspect, but she also does have the power os psychometry where she can see somthing/someone's past. 

her first time meeting bruce, they shook hands and she had a little moment where she saw them kiss. she still hasn't told him about that though. to her, it looked like a wedding but after discussing it with wanda, natasha, pepper, it's come to the conclusion it was more so a fantasy than reality (lie but whatever)

her other powers consist of mediumship, which helps her connect to her lost loved ones. all she needs is peace and quiet for this, which honestly she hardly ever gets. although once connecting with them, she can't hear or see them in the physical world, when she sleeps she usually dreams and can connect with them there. this is the one that takes the most energy from her because she never truly gets to rest, even when she's asleep.

it wasn't until later in her adult years did she realize she had the power of necromancy as well. now she doesn't like this power at all. when she was 24, her mother died during one of the new york attacks (i'm not calculating which one i'm too lazy), and she would cry about it so bad, that the energy would bring her mom 'back to life'. it scared her a lot, especially because bringing people back from the dead is never a good idea. 

she kinda got lost for a while, seeing her mom every night but she knew she had to quit when she kept hiding it from bruce, telling him he couldn't come over anymore because all she wanted was her mother. eventually, as all dead people do, they begin requesting you to join them. since then, she hasn't really used this power.

her divination power is most useful though. she's a very textbook witch. crystal balls, crystals, tarot cards. almost always can she properly hypothesize what will happen, where it will happen. she often uses it on herself to talk to her guides to help her make decisions. 

to tie into her divination, loki had a tiny infatuation with her for a while because of her alters to the gods. bruce shut that shit down real quick.

anyway, she also creates her own rune protections and has a bunch of tattoos (tiny ones) littered all over her body. she also has them drawn on her walls. sometimes when bruce is working in the lab, kat will just walk in with a marker and doodle a new rune on his hand. he does not wash them off ever.

sometimes if there are candles in a room, and kat walks in, all the lights in the room will turn off and the candles will flicker to life. 

sometimes when she's bored, she'll just create little energy balls in her hand and play with it. once, she was so caught up in her little purple magic that she hadn't notice bruce walk in, and accidentally shot the energy ball at him. 

Due to her extensive amount of powers, she tires herself out a lot, her only weakness (aside from bruce but like duh). sometimes after using her powers too much and not getting enough to sleep or eat or drink, she'll just collapse. bruce has never let her hit the ground.

she met bruce through tony stark, who had been her friend for years. her father was also kind of a mad scientists, and after thing's went a little wonky in her childhood years, she began to see dead people (which faded and came back when her mom died). aside from an accidental energy blast, he had no idea where the divination powers came from. she grew up a lot with tony after her father met with howard stark.

although bruce is only five years older, she calls him old man.

kat absolutely adores a nerdy man. as much as she loves tony, she thinks the quiet ones are the best. 

kat is definitely the freakiest of the bunch (aside from sigyn of course cause have u seen loki?). her first time with bruce was definitely vanilla, but ever since then she's taken a lot of control over the situation. i can just imagine him laying back with his mouth dropped open and eyes wide in shock at the absolute sinister shit she's got going down. 

she feels connected to the woods. when she and the avengers stopped off at clint bartons house, she and bruce talked about running off together, hiding out somewhere in the woods, building a home together. maybe kids were off the table, but they could find some other thing's to do.

although shield doesn't see her as a threat, a lot of citizens do, especially after everything that happened with wanda, they weren't sure they could trust if kat was still a good person.  

i think their favorite position is probably just cowgirl. i think they're favorite place to do it would probably be the couch or the bed. she won't push him to do it anywhere else, but he knows she's thinking about it.

i think the team walks in on them being touchy-feely the most out of the others. it especially happens in the lab, he's talking all his smart stuff and she's just leaning against the table to listen, he keeps stuttering cause her tits are practically spilling out of her low v neck top. she'll just cut him off with a kiss so he stops talking (although she loves when he yaps)

she's never ever been afraid of the hulk. which bruce doesn't really understand why she lacks fear, but i think she and hulk have a certain understanding of each other that bruce probably won't ever catch on to. 

she's kinda messy... she sleeps in her makeup, she always finds a stray bobby pin in her hair, there's glitter everywhere, books strewn on the floor, crystal alters are always a mess.

she shares a playlist with bruce, only soft calming music to keep them both grounded. 

huge fan of floor time. if bruce walks in to her apartment, she's definitely lying on the floor.

i think all her clothes are thrifted or hand made by herself. of course there are pieces she'll buy from like walmart or target or whatever. i also think she prefers wearing skirts and dresses more than pants. but her 'avengers'outfit has pants and she hates it so bad, but at least it's purple so she's fine with that.

whenever they find each other sleeping, they never wake each other up. usually she'll walk into his room in the compound and find him asleep on the bed or at the desk, or maybe in the lab. she won't wake him up if he's asleep in bed or on a couch, but being hunched over a desk or never comfortable. now with kat sleeping, she will sleep anywhere.

for some reason, i can also see her being diabetic. she gets so focused on her powers that she tends to neglect herself that she ate a ton of sugary foods, which was not good for her (i'd think around the time when her mom died, she was just trying to use the sugary foods to bring her mood up), and her blood pressure is always super high from stress.

bruce is absolutely terrified of hurting her, he's terrified of hurting anyone in general, but the thought of hurting her makes him wanna die, even if it hadn't ever happened, he still feels guilty about it. 

she likes to change his contact information in his phone, his wallpaper, basically anything that has to do with her. she'll see that his contact for her is like just 'katherine grace' or 'katherine b' and she immediately changes it. she changes his wallpaper a lot for him, almost every time he leaves his phone somewhere and she finds it, the next time he's picking it up he's like "hey that wasn't my background three minutes ago!"

i think for a long time before they actually dates, bruce called her 'katherine grace' or 'miss baudelaire' as a formality. of course she hated it and always insisted on him just calling her kat or literally anything but her full name. of course he still calls her katherine grace all the time (it's slowly growing on her)

she gives him random trinkets. like "here, this is for your protection, your spirtit guides told me you're being watched by a negative entity" and it's just a box full of herbs, flowers, and bones. he'll smile and nod, not really understanding, "thank you?"

i can also feel like she's not the best at being social. she hates going outside, every time she bumps into someone, she always gets a vision on them. since she hardly ever went outside, she's not really accustomed to thing's like metaphors, innuendos, hints, sarcasm. she just says things how it is, but that doesn't mean she doesn't understand that her being blunt may hurt people (because like i said, she feels everything, every mood shift) she's just not the best at articulating her words right to keep the peace.

with that being said, she's also such an open and honest person. sometimes, if she doesn't know how to explain what she's feeling, she can also touch whoever she's talking too, and they'll kinda get visions to and understand what's wrong. 

i feel like that happens a lot whenever she's really upset though, she'll just shut down. i also think their relationship was a lottttt of back and forth. "we shouldn't be doing this?"   "well why the hell not?" and then like twenty seconds later she's like "I'm sorry we shouldn't have done that" like OK GIRL PICK AND CHOOSE 

i think for work she's either a botanist or a teacher, before being a shield agent/avenger. she has such a big connection to kids and plants as well. she's very earthly. bruce was able to see her work with kids maybe once or twice. she's typically an extraction method to help people get out of places safely. kids trust her a lot cause she can be very gentle. i think animals trust her a lot too, especially birds.

anyway, back to the kids: so i think he probably realized he was in LOVE WITH HER (most definitely knew, but realized here) during age of ultron, once again ty clint for the home in the middle of nowhere, cause when kat was sitting on the floor, she was using her little magic to make the legos float and piece together while the kids watched and laughed. she even touched laura, smiling when she could feel the baby. "he's gonna grow big and strong, just like his daddy. probably a little annoying too." 

she's just so gentle.

but don't get me wrong, the penelope garcia wild side is there! she'll stay out and party all night if bruce lets her. but this mf is strong okay, i can imagine she's dancing with pepper, trying to get her out of her comfort zone a bit, even as the party has winded down. and then bruce and tony step in, tony wrapping an arm around pepper and guiding her away from you, while bruce just dips down and tosses you over his shoulder like nothing.

she loves all creatures, but her fear of frogs is so weird. like even a picture and she's in wide eye'd shock.

anway, i'm out of ideas now. what other thing's do you think they do together?

[istumpysk]

Operation Stumpy Re-Read

TWOW: Alayne I (Sansa I)

My little lovebug! ❤️

She's finally here! 🥺

To celebrate, I might just copy and paste the whole gosh darn thing. You've been warned.

Ladies and gentlemen, brace yourselves for the mind-blowing, heart-stopping, epic conclusion of Operation Stumpy Re-Read Project!

Before we dive in, we need to revisit a theory that I proposed in Jon X, ADWD.

The last time we saw Jon's and Sansa's points of view in the same book was A Storm of Swords. You might recall the deliberate placement of their back-to-back chapters was anything but subtle.

The text was often copied verbatim, the situations were perfectly mirrored, and the topics of love, marriage, and family were prevalent in both.

You can view a quick summary of it all here.

That brings us to this chapter. Some of you might not be aware, but George was originally planning to put Alayne I in A Dance with Dragons.

That Sansa chapter I talked about finishing, for instance. It's still finished, but my editor and I decided it belongs in THE WINDS OF WINTER, not A DANCE WITH DRAGONS, so it's been moved into the next book. Sansa will not appear in DANCE. - Not a Blog

Based on the intentional placement of previous Jon and Sansa chapters, I have hypothesized that it should be possible to determine the original planned position of this Alayne chapter.

Below, I will do my best to argue Alayne I, TWOW was originally indented to appear directly before Jon X, ADWD.

Alright, it's time!

She was reading her little lord a tale of the Winged Knight when Mya Stone came knocking on the door of his bedchamber, clad in boots and riding leathers and smelling strongly of the stable. Mya had straw in her hair and a scowl on her face. That scowl comes of having Mychel Redfort near, Alayne knew.

I'm so slow, I'm only now picking up on the vague hints of Jon and Sansa's connection from the highborn-lowborn divide between Mya and Mychel Redfort.

She sounded so like Sansa, so happy and innocent with her dreams. Catelyn smiled, but the smile was tinged with sadness. The Redforts were an old name in the Vale, she knew, with the blood of the First Men in their veins. His love she might be, but no Redfort would ever wed a bastard. His family would arrange a more suitable match for him, to a Corbray or a Waynwood or a Royce, or perhaps a daughter of some greater house outside the Vale. - Catelyn VI, AGOT

She even had a king for a dad!

+.+.+

Why did she have to mention Harry? Alayne thought. We will never get Sweetrobin out of bed now. The boy slapped a pillow. "Send them away. I never asked them here." Mya looked nonplussed. No one in the Vale was better at handling a mule, but lordlings were another matter. "They were invited," she said uncertainly, "for the tourney. I don't…" Alayne closed her book. "Thank you, Mya. Let me talk with Lord Robert, if you would."

Oh look, 13-year-old Sansa is acting 24 again, and can I just mention she's absolutely fantastic at managing her son cousin.

+.+.+

"I hate that Harry," Sweetrobin said when she was gone. "He calls me cousin, but he's just waiting for me to die so he can take the Eyrie. He thinks I don't know, but I do." "Your lordship should not believe such nonsense," Alayne said. "I'm sure Ser Harrold loves you well." And if the gods are good, he will love me too. Her tummy gave a little flutter.

Back to 13.

Just like Arya and Mercy, you can still find traces of Sansa in Alayne.

+.+.+

"I don't want you to marry him, Alayne. I am the Lord of the Eyrie, and I forbid it." He sounded as if he were about to cry. "You should marry me instead. We could sleep in the same bed every night, and you could read me stories."

In the future, it might be a good idea to ensure that Jon and Sweetrobin are kept apart at all times.

+.+.+

No man can wed me so long as my dwarf husband still lives somewhere in this world. 

I don't know about that.

"Hush, you'll be the death of us. I did nothing. Come, we must away, they'll search for you. Your husband's been arrested."

"Tyrion?" she said, shocked.

"Do you have another husband? The Imp, the dwarf uncle, she thinks he did it." - Sansa V, ASOS

x

When Her Grace suggested that she would be pleased to help arrange marriages for his sons to the daughters of great southern lords, Lord Stark refused brusquely. "We keep the old gods in the North," he told the queen. "When my boys take a wife, they will wed before a heart tree, not in some southron sept." - Fire & Blood

+.+.+

Alayne stroked his fingers. "There, my Sweetrobin, be still now." When the shaking passed, she said, "You must have a proper wife, a trueborn maid of noble birth." "No. I want to marry you, Alayne." Once your lady mother intended that very thing, but I was trueborn then, and noble.

Trust me, this is less than nothing, we're only warming up. I can do way better than this.

(-> -> -> Jon X?)

"Who brings this woman to be wed?" asked Melisandre.

"I do," said Jon. "Now comes Alys of House Karstark, a woman grown and flowered, of noble blood and birth." - Jon X, ADWD

+.+.+

Alayne smoothed his hair. Lady Lysa had never let the servants touch it, and after she had died Robert had suffered terrible shaking fits whenever anyone came near him with a blade, so it had been allowed to grow until it tumbled over his round shoulders and halfway down his flabby white chest. He does have pretty hair. If the gods are good and he lives long enough to wed, his wife will admire his hair, surely. That much she will love about him. 

Mounting evidence that Sansa is plotting to kill Robert Arryn.

Why would he fear a blade?

+.+.+

"The Lord of the Eyrie can do as he likes. Can't I still love you, even if I have to marry her? Ser Harrold has a common woman. Benjicot says she's carrying his bastard." Benjicot should learn to keep his fool's mouth shut.

Lmao.

+.+.+

"Is that what you would have from me? A bastard?" She pulled her fingers from his grasp. "Would you dishonor me that way?" The boy looked stricken. "No. I never meant —" Alayne stood. "If it please my lord, I must go and find my father. Someone needs to greet Lady Waynwood." Before her little lord could find the words to protest, she gave him a quick curtsy and fled the bedchamber [...].

Masterfully done!

This is why I can't have children, I would have locked him in a closet.

+.+.+

When she had left Petyr Baelish that morning he had been breaking his fast with old Oswell who had arrived last night from Gulltown on a lathered horse. 

Did you know that the number of references to Oldtown gradually increases from book to book until it surges in A Storm of Swords, right before the city is formally introduced at the beginning of A Feast for Crows?

Gulltown is on a similar trajectory. The city is referenced nine times in this chapter alone. Nine.

+.+.+

Though snow had blanketed the heights of the Giant's Lance above, below the mountain the autumn lingered and winter wheat was ripening in the fields.

For timeline purposes: Sansa is lagging behind where Brienne and Jon currently are in the story.

Snow in the riverlands. If it was snowing here, it could well be snowing on Lannisport as well, and on King's Landing. Winter is marching south, and half our granaries are empty. Any crops still in the fields were doomed. [...] "I know," Jaime said, "there has been a white raven from the Citadel. Winter has come." - Jaime VII, AFFC

+.+.+

Alayne loved it here. She felt alive again, for the first since her father… since Lord Eddard Stark had died.

Stop.

+.+.+

She hoped they might still be talking, but Petyr's solar proved empty. Someone had left a window open and a stack of papers had blown onto the floor. [...] She closed the window, gathered up the fallen papers, and stacked them on the table. One was a list of the competitors. Four-and-sixty knights had been invited to vie for places amongst Lord Robert Arryn's new Brotherhood of Winged Knights, and four­ and-sixty knights had come to tilt for the right to wear falcon’s wings upon their warhelms and guard their lord.

It is widely speculated she saw something she shouldn't have, but hasn't fully grasped the significance yet.

Did you know there's 64 squares on a chessboard?

+.+.+

The competitors came from all over the Vale, from the mountain valleys and the coast, from Gulltown and the Bloody Gate, even the Three Sisters. Though a few were promised, only three were wed; the eight victors would be expected to spend the next three years at Lord Robert's side, as his own personal guard (Alayne had suggested seven, like the Kingsguard, but Sweetrobin had insisted that he must have more knights than King Tommen), so older men with wives and children had not been invited.

We love a petty king.

so older men with wives and children had not been invited.

Perfect for Blackfish! Where is that former Knight of the Gate? I know he's coming, the ellipsis of truth tells no lies.

And if Ser Brynden should survive this siege, he might be inclined to claim Riverrun in his own name . . . or in the name of young Robert Arryn. - Jaime V, AFFC

Where else is he supposed to go?

Edit:

Oh! @decadelongsummer reminded me that Jaime I, ADWD would have come before this. (<- <- <-)

"Might the Blackfish seek refuge at Raventree?"

"He might seek it, but to find it he'd need to get past my siege lines, and last I heard he hadn't grown wings. [...]" - Jaime I, ADWD

+.+.+

"They're young, eager, hungry for adventure and renown. Lysa would not let them go to war. This is the next best thing. A chance to serve their lord and prove their prowess. They will come. Even Harry the Heir." He had smoothed her hair and kissed her forehead. "What a clever daughter you are."

I will turn your liver into paste, and feed it to cats.

+.+.+

"What a clever daughter you are." It was clever.

✨ Clever girl! ✨

Dontos chuckled. "My Jonquil's a clever girl, isn't she?" - Sansa IV, ACOK

x

"There's a clever girl." He smiled, his thin lips bright red from the pomegranate seeds. - Sansa VI, ASOS

x

"[...] It was clever of you to see it. Though no more than I'd expect of mine own daughter." - Sansa I, AFFC

x

Sers, the Lady Alayne, my natural and very clever daughter . . . - Alayne II, AFFC

+.+.+

The tourney, the prizes, the winged knights, it had all been her own notion. Lord Robert's mother had filled him full of fears, but he always took courage from the tales she read him of Ser Artys Arryn, the Winged Knight of legend, founder of his line. Why not surround him with Winged Knights? She had thought one night, after Sweetrobin had finally drifted off to sleep. His own Kingsguard, to keep him safe and make him brave.

Sounds like something a queen might be responsible for planning.

Unreliable narrator Sansa Stark (or George R. R. Martin). Ser Artys Arryn was not the legendary Winged Knight from the Age of Heroes. Two different people.

I don't know if this is important or not, but while reading the history of Ser Artys, a few things stuck out.

Leading the attack was a champion in silvered steel, with a moon-and-falcon on his shield and wings upon his warhelm. Ser Artys Arryn had clad one of his knights retainer in his spare suit of armor, leaving him in camp whilst he himself took his best horsemen up and around a goat track that he remembered from his childhood, so they might reappear behind the First Men and descend on them from above. - The World of Ice and Fire

While fighting King Robar II Royce, Ser Artys used a decoy of himself, while he snuck up and around a goat track that he remembered from his childhood.

What's interesting about that is that Roose Bolton uses a decoy in ADWD, which fools Ramsay.

When the rider in the dark armor removed his helm, however, the face beneath was not one that Reek knew. Ramsay's smile curdled at the sight, and anger flashed across his face. "What is this, some mockery?" - Reek II, ADWD

But what really stands out is the goat tracks. I know a character who has deep appreciation for goat tracks being used during war.

"Goat tracks?" The king's eyes narrowed. "I speak of moving swiftly, and you waste my time with goat tracks?"

"When the Young Dragon conquered Dorne, he used a goat track to bypass the Dornish watchtowers on the Boneway." - Jon IV, ADWD

I don't know. It involved knights from the Vale, so it made me pause.

+.+.+

Lord Nestor was showing Lady Waxley his prize tapestries, with their scenes of hunt and chase. The same panels had once hung in the Red Keep of King's Landing, when Robert sat the Iron Throne. Joffrey had them taken down and they had languished in some cellar until Petyr Baelish arranged for them to be brought to the Vale as a gift for Nestor Royce. Not only were the hangings beautiful, but the High Steward delighted in telling anyone who'd listen that they had once belonged to a king.

It's the conclusion of the most anticlimactic side plot in the entire series.

"Not as yet. In truth, he seems quite unconcerned. His last letter mentions the rebels only briefly before beseeching me to ship him some old tapestries of Robert's." - Cersei IV, AFFC

x

Petyr laughed. "Perhaps I shall. Or better still, to our sweet Cersei. Though I should not speak harshly of her, she is sending me some splendid tapestries. Isn't that kind of her?" - Alayne I, AFFC

This is nothing. It's only meant to showcase how Littlefinger purchases the loyalty of others.

+.+.+

At the north end of the yard, three quintains had been set up, and some of the competitors were riding at them. Alayne knew them by their shields; the bells of Belmore, green vipers for the Lynderlys, the red sledge of Breakstone, House Tollett’s black and grey pily. Ser Mychel Redfort set one quintain spinning with a perfectly placed blow. He was one of those favored to win wings.

Showing off, as per usual. She's only doing this to make Arya look bad.

+.+.+

"The Lord Protector's daughter," the bald knight announced, all hearty gallantry. He rose ponderously. "And full as lovely as the tales told of her, I see." Not to be outdone, the pimply knight hopped up and said, "Ser Ossifer speaks truly, you are the most beautiful maid in all the Seven Kingdoms." It might have been a sweeter courtesy had he not addressed it to her chest. "And have you seen all those maids yourself, ser?" Alayne asked him. "You are young to be so widely travelled."

"You are even lovelier than I was told, princess," he declared. "The queen has told me much and more of your beauty."

"How odd, when she has never seen me." - Jon XI, ADWD

+.+.+

Alayne could not help but shutter. Myranda's husband had died when he was making love with her. "Those Sistermen who came in yesterday were gallant," she said, to change the subject. "If you don't like Ser Ossifer or Ser Uther, marry one of them instead. I thought the youngest one was very handsome." "The one in the sealskin cloak?" Randa said, incredulous. "One of his brothers, then." Myranda rolled her eyes. "They're from the Sisters. Did you ever know a Sisterman who could joust? They clean their swords with codfish oil and wash in tubs of cold seawater." “Well,” Alayne said, “at least they're clean.”

"Some of them have webs between their toes. [...]"

Uh huh.

Listen to me. Listen to me.

You know why this is here.

Davos: I:

Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.

Remind me, what did we learn in Davos I?

To get home and call his banners, Stark had to cross the mountains to the Fingers and find a fisherman to carry him across the Bite. A storm caught them on the way. The fisherman drowned, but his daughter got Stark to the Sisters before the boat went down.

[...]

Our maester urged us to send Stark's head to Aerys, to prove our loyalty. It would have meant a rich reward.

[...]

That was when Stark said, 'In this world only winter is certain. We may lose our heads, it's true … but what if we prevail?' My father sent him on his way with his head still on his shoulders. 'If you lose,' he told Lord Eddard, 'you were never here.'" - Davos I, ADWD

Right, exactly. Go ahead and remind us of the Three Sisters in a Sansa chapter, George. Nobody can figure out where this is going.

+.+.+

"Some of them have webs between their toes. I'd sooner marry Lord Petyr. Then I'd be your mother. How little is his finger, I ask you?"

Alayne did not dignify that question with an answer.

Totally normal thing you might ask his daughter.

+.+.+

"Is that a promise or a threat?" Myranda said. "The first Lady Waynwood must have been a mare, I think. How else to explain why all the Waynwood men are horse-faced? If I were ever to wed a Waynwood, he would have to swear a vow to don his helm whenever he wished to fuck me, and keep the visor closed." She gave Alayne a pinch on the arm.

Um, I have a theory!

"No," Catelyn agreed. "You must name another heir, until such time as Jeyne gives you a son." She considered a moment. "Your father's father had no siblings, but his father had a sister who married a younger son of Lord Raymar Royce, of the junior branch. They had three daughters, all of whom wed Vale lordlings. A Waynwood and a Corbray, for certain. The youngest . . . it might have been a Templeton, but . . ." - Catelyn V, ASOS

+.+.+

"My Harry will be with them, though. I notice that you left him out. I shall never forgive you for stealing him away from me. He's the boy I want to marry."

"The betrothal was my father's doing," Alayne protested, as she had a hundred times before. She is only teasing, she told herself… but behind the japes, she could hear the hurt.

We can't be certain, but she doesn't give off the same vibes as the other Myranda on the show.

+.+.+

Alayne could not see the front of his shield from where she stood, but his attacker bore three ravens in flight, each clutching a red heart in its claws. Three hearts and three ravens. She knew right then how the fight would end. A few moments later and the big man sprawled dazed in the dust with his helm askew. When his squire undid the fastenings to bare his head, there was blood trickling down his scalp. If the swords had not been blunted, there would be brains as well. That last head blow had been so hard Alayne had winced in sympathy when it fell. Myranda Royce considered the victor thoughtfully. "Do you think if I asked nicely Ser Lyn would kill my suitors for me?" "He might, for a plump bag of gold." Ser Lyn Corbray was forever desperately short of coin, all the Vale knew that.

Based on my powerful foresight, I predict that Lyn Corbray will exhibit violent tendencies in the future, possibly while utilizing his Valyrian steel sword.

Don't ask me who the victim will be.

+.+.+

There is truth in that, Alayne thought, but some demon of mischief was in her that morning, so she gave Ser Lyn a thrust of her own. Smiling sweetly, she said, "My lord father tells me your brother's new wife is with child." Corbray gave her a dark look. "Lyonel sends his regrets. He remains at Heart's Home with his peddler's daughter, watching her belly swell as if he were the first man who ever got a wench pregnant." Oh, that's an open wound, thought Alayne. Lyonel Corbray's first wife had given him nothing but a frail, sickly babe who died in infancy, and during all those years Ser Lyn had remained his brother's heir. When the poor woman finally died, however, Petyr Baelish had stepped in and brokered a new marriage for Lord Corbray. The second Lady Corbray was sixteen, the daughter of a wealthy Gulltown merchant, but she had come with an immense dowry, and men said she was a tall, strapping, healthy girl, with big breasts and good, wide hips. And fertile too, it seems. "We are all praying that the Mother grants Lady Corbray an easy labor and a healthy child," said Myranda. Alayne could not help herself. She smiled and said, "My father is always pleased to be of service to one of Lord Robert's leal bannermen. I'm sure he would be most delighted to help broker a marriage for you as well, Ser Lyn." "How kind of him." Corbray's lips drew back in something that might have been meant as a smile, though it gave Alayne a chill. "But what need have I for heirs when I am landless and like to remain so, thanks to our Lord Protector? No. Tell your lord father I need none of his brood mares." The venom in his voice was so thick that for a moment she almost forgot that Lyn Corbray was actually her father's catspaw, bought and paid for. Or was he? Perhaps, instead of being Petyr's man pretending to be Petyr's foe, he was actually his foe pretending to be his man pretending to be his foe.

Uh oh, Nostradamus senses something. There she goes leaking the plot again!

The king's own fool, the pie-faced simpleton called Moon Boy, danced about on stilts, all in motley, making mock of everyone with such deft cruelty that Sansa wondered if he was simple after all. - Sansa II, AGOT

x

Sansa shuddered. Every time she looked at Ser Ilyn Payne, she shivered. - Sansa III, AGOT

x

Varys was wringing his soft hands together, Grand Maester Pycelle kept his sleepy eyes on the papers in front of him, but she could feel Littlefinger staring. Something about the way the small man looked at her made Sansa feel as though she had no clothes on. Goose bumps pimpled her skin. - Sansa IV, AGOT

x

For his sigil he had taken a bloody spear, gold on a night-black field. The sight of it raised goose prickles up and down Sansa's arms. - Sansa V, AGOT

x

Ser Boros was short-tempered, Ser Meryn cold, and Ser Mandon's strange dead eyes made her uneasy - Sansa I, ACOK

x

"I don't want to." Lollys clutched at her maid, a slender, pretty girl with short dark hair who looked as though she wanted nothing so much as to shove her mistress into the dry moat, onto those iron spikes. "Please, please, I don't want to." - Sansa V, ACOK

x

Besides, the lords of the Trident were sworn to Riverrun and House Tully, and to the King in the North; they would never accept Littlefinger as their liege. Unless they are made to. Unless my brother and my uncle and my grandfather are all cast down and killed. The thought made Sansa anxious, but she told herself she was being silly. - Sansa VIII, ACOK

x

Yet the more she thought about it all, the more she wondered. Joff might restrain himself for a few turns, perhaps as long as a year, but soon or late he will show his claws, and when he does . . . The realm might have a second Kingslayer, and there would be war inside the city, as the men of the lion and the men of the rose made the gutters run red. - Sansa I, ASOS

Believe in Sansa. The bottom line is that Lyn Corbray is a problem, and he's not as loyal to Littlefinger as Littlefinger thinks. Where this goes, I couldn't tell you.

(I desperately wanted to highlight every instance of Daenerys incorrectly reading someone, but I chose to be an adult.)

+.+.+

Alayne turned abruptly from the yard… and bumped into a short, sharp-faced man with a brush of orange hair who had come up behind her. His hand shot out and caught her arm before she could fall. "My lady. My pardons if I took you unawares." "The fault was mine. I did not see you standing there." "We mice are quiet creatures." Ser Shadrich was so short that he might have been taken for a squire, but his face belonged to a much older man. She saw long leagues in the wrinkles at the corner of his mouth, old battles in the scar beneath his ear, and a hardness behind the eyes that no boy would ever have. This was a man grown. Even Randa overtopped him, though. "Will you be seeking wings?" the Royce girl said. "A mouse with wings would be a silly sight." "Perhaps you will try the melee instead?" Alayne suggested. The melee was an afterthought, a sop for all the brothers, uncles, fathers, and friends who had accompanied the competitors to the Gates of the Moon to see them win their silver wings, but there would be prizes for the champions, and a chance to win ransoms. "A good melee is all a hedge knight can hope for, unless he stumbles on a bag of dragons. And that's not likely, is it?"

Speaking of problems.

You know who Varys is, I trust? The eunuch has offered a plump bag of gold for this girl you've never heard of. I am not a greedy man. If some oversized wench would help me find this naughty child, I would split the Spider's coin with her. - Brienne I, AFFC

The following is speculative, but also highly rational in my opinion.

It would be incredibly illogical for the author to introduce Ser Shadrich in Brienne's first chapter, reveal his objective to the reader, have him show up in the Vale near the same book's conclusion, clearly signal to the reader that he's correctly identified Sansa, and then proceed to not utilize him in any meaningful way. This is not what a red herring looks like.

There's probably a reason why Brienne's been gifted the knowledge of his appearance, and his objective. Brienne may not know what Alayne looks like, but she does know what Ser Shadrich looks like.

There's probably a reason why Brienne gauges both of their fighting skills while anticipating a potential encounter. (Come on.)

The Mad Mouse, she thought, at her first sight of him. Somehow he's followed me. Her hand went to her sword hilt, and she found herself wondering if Ser Shadrich would think her easy prey just because she was a woman. [...] If it was Ser Shadrich dogging her heels, she might well have a fight on her hands. She did not intend to partner with the man or let him follow her to Sansa. He had the sort of easy arrogance that comes with skill at arms, she thought, but he was small. I'll have the reach on him, and I should be stronger too. - Brienne II, AFFC

We watched Brienne intercept a Stark daughter three different times on the show.

None of these scenes can happen in the books, but we already know the show creators drew inspiration from canon events, and assigned different characters to the roles.

They gave the role of Biter to the Hound and made Brienne fight him, do you not think it's also possible one of these scenes is inspired by Brienne intercepting Shadrich and Sansa in the books?

"But Brienne's currently captured by Lady Stoneheart near Pennytree, and has a broken arm and face!"

Sansa's 👏 and 👏 Brienne's 👏 storylines 👏 aren't 👏 synchronized.

He told us what Brienne would do! He told us!

The Eyrie would be simpler, and Lady Lysa would surely welcome her sister's daughter . . .

Ahead, the alley bent. Somehow Brienne had taken a wrong turn. She found herself in a dead end, a small muddy yard where three pigs were rooting round a low stone well.

[...]

"I was looking for the Seven Swords."

"Back the way you come. Left at the sept."

"I thank you." Brienne turned to retrace her steps, and walked headfirst into someone hurrying round the bend. - Brienne II, AFFC

Brienne 👏 will 👏 escape! She'll 👏 turn 👏 back!

+.+.+

They made a race of it, dashing headlong across the yard and past the stables, skirts flapping, whilst knights and serving men alike looked on, and pigs and chickens scattered before them. It was most unladylike, but Alayne sound found herself laughing. For just a little while, as she ran, she forget who she was, and where, and found herself remembering bright cold days at Winterfell, when she would race through Winterfell with her friend Jeyne Poole, with Arya running after them trying to keep up.

Always nice seeing her act her age.

+.+.+

Harry the Heir, Alayne thought. My husband-to-be, if he will have me. A sudden terror filled her. She wondered if her face was red. Don't stare at him, she reminded herself, don't stare, don't gape, don't gawk. Look away. Her hair must be a frightful mess after all that running. It took all her will to stop herself from trying to tuck the loose strands back into place. Never mind your stupid hair. Your hair doesn't matter. It's him that matters. Him, and the Waynwoods. Ser Roland was the oldest of the three, though no more than five-and-twenty. He was taller and more muscular than Ser Wallace, but both were long-faced and lantern-jawed, with stringy brown hair and pinched noses. Horsefaced and homely, Alayne thought. Harry, though… My Harry. My lord, my lover, my betrothed.Ser Harrold Hardyng looked every inch a lord-in-waiting; clean-limbed and handsome, straight as a lance, hard with muscle. Men old enough to have known Jon Arryn in his youth said Ser Harrold had his look, she knew. He had a mop of sandy blond hair, pale blue eyes, an aquiline nose. Joffrey was comely too, though, she reminded herself. A comely monster, that’s what he was. Little Lord Tyrion was kinder, twisted though he was.

Wow, how much do you love that?

Sansa directly compares the horse-faced Waynwoods, who have Stark lineage and were once potential heirs to Robb, to the more attractive Harry Hardyng (aka Joffrey).

I'm sorry, you have to see this:

Un-fucking-real. So close. They're always so close.

Yeah guys, why isn't she thinking about Arya? It's obvious we're supposed to be thinking about Arya during this passage. The author's intentions here are clear, the subtext is Arya. Sansa comparing these Stark-ish, likable Waynwood men to the comely yet rude Harry the Heir is totally about Arya. Arya's written all over this. We're so clever to see it.

Side note,

Joffrey was comely too, though, she reminded herself. A comely monster, that's what he was.

x

"Beauty can be treacherous. My brother learned that lesson from Cersei Lannister. [...]." - Jon XI, ASOS

Love when my babies both learn about beauty's hidden dangers!

+.+.+

"I look forward to a spirited discussion." Ser Roland swung down from his horse, turned to Alayne, and smiled. "I had heard that Lord Littlefinger's daughter was fair of face and full of grace, but no one ever told me that she was a thief." "You wrong me, ser. I am no thief!" Ser Roland placed his hand over his heart. "Then how do you explain this hole in my chest, from where you stole my heart?"

Man, these horsey Waynwoods are crushing hard on Sansa. hehehehe.

Instead, he blamed Jon Snow and wondered when Jon's heart had turned to stone. - Samwell III, AFFC

+.+.+

"You are in the Falcon Tower, Ser Harrold," Alayne put in. Far away from Sweetrobin. That was intentional, she knew. Petyr Baelish did not leave such things to chance. "If it please you, I will show you to your chambers myself." This time her eyes met Harry's. She smiled just for him, and said a silent prayer to the Maiden. Please, he doesn't need to love me, just make him like me, just a little, that would be enough for now. Ser Harrold looked down at her coldly. "Why should it please me to be escorted anywhere by Littlefinger's bastard?"

+.+.+

A lady's armor is her courtesy. Alayne could feel the blood rushing to her face. No tears, she prayed. Please, please, I must not cry. "As you wish, ser. And now if you will excuse me, Littlefinger's bastard must find her lord father and let him know that you have come, so we can begin the tourney on the morrow." And may your horse stumble, Harry the Heir, so you fall on your stupid head in your first tilt. She showed the Waynwoods a stone face as they blurted out awkward apologies for their companion. When they were done she turned and fled. Near the keep, she ran headlong into Ser Lothor Brune and almost knocked him off his feet. "Harry the Heir? Harry the Arse, I say. He's just some upjumped squire." Alayne was so grateful that she hugged him. "Thank you. Have you seen my father, ser?"

Oopsie daisy, Nostradamus has returned.

The most terrifying moment of the day came during Ser Gregor's second joust, when his lance rode up and struck a young knight from the Vale under the gorget with such force that it drove through his throat, killing him instantly. The youth fell not ten feet from where Sansa was seated. The point of Ser Gregor's lance had snapped off in his neck, and his life's blood flowed out in slow pulses, each weaker than the one before. His armor was shiny new; a bright streak of fire ran down his outstretched arm, as the steel caught the light. Then the sun went behind a cloud, and it was gone. His cloak was blue, the color of the sky on a clear summer's day, trimmed with a border of crescent moons, but as his blood seeped into it, the cloth darkened and the moons turned red, one by one. - Sansa II, AGOT

x

"Look at that upjumped oaf," Joff hooted, loud enough for half the yard to hear.

[...]

I hope he falls and shames himself, she thought bitterly. I hope Ser Balon kills him. When Joffrey proclaimed her father's death, it had been Janos Slynt who seized Lord Eddard's severed head by the hair and raised it on high for king and crowd to behold, while Sansa wept and screamed.

Morros dropped his lance, fought for balance, and lost. One foot caught in a stirrup as he fell, and the runaway charger dragged the youth to the end of the lists, head bouncing against the ground. Joff hooted derision. Sansa was appalled, wondering if the gods had heard her vengeful prayer. - Sansa I, ACOK

x

At the last possible instant, Ser Humfrey's [Hardyng] stallion reared away from the oncoming point, eyes rolling in terror, but too late, Aerion's lance took the animal just above the armor that protected his breastbone, and exploded out of the back of his neck in a gout of bright blood. Screaming, the horse crashed sideways, knocking the wooden barrier to pieces as he fell. Ser Humfrey [Hardyng] tried to leap free, but a foot caught in a stirrup and they heard his shriek as his leg was crushed between the splintered fence and falling horse. - The Hedge Knight

A knight from the Vale.

Correctly predicting it will happen to an upjumped oaf.

A Hardyng.

There are two certainties in this life: death and Harrold Hardyng falling off his horse. (Plenty of people don't pay their taxes.)

+.+.+

The vaults were large and dark and filthy. Alayne lit a taper and clutched her skirt as she made the descent. Near the bottom, she heard Lord Grafton's booming voice, and followed. "The merchants are clamoring to buy, and the lords are clamoring to sell," the Gulltowner was saying when she found them. Though not a tall man, Grafton was wide, with thick arms and shoulders. His hair was a dirty blond mop. "How am I to stop that, my lord?" "Post guardsmen on the docks. If need be, seize the ships. How does not matter, so long as no food leaves the Vale." "These prices, though," protested fat Lord Belmore," these prices are more than fair." "You say more than fair, my lord. I say less than we would wish. Wait. If need be, buy the food yourself and keep it stored. Winter is coming. Prices must go higher." "Perhaps," said Belmore, doubtfully. "Bronze Yohn will not wait," Grafton complained. "He need not ship through Gulltown, he has his own ports. Whilst we are hoarding our harvest, Royce and the other Lords Declarant will turn theirs into silver, you may be sure of that."

I smell converging storylines!

Our best hope may be the Eyrie. The Vale of Arryn was famously fertile and had gone untouched during the fighting. Jon wondered how Lady Catelyn's sister would feel about feeding Ned Stark's bastard. - Jon IV, ADWD

Someone cut Littlefinger's head off, so everyone can eat.

Anyway, there's more Gulltown. Gulltown, Gulltown, Gulltown!

She might do better to take ship for Gulltown or White Harbor. I could do both, though. - Brienne II, AFFC

x

If the Stinking Goose yields nothing, I will take passage on a ship, she decided. Gulltown was only a short voyage away. From there she could make her way to the Eyrie easily enough. - Brienne III, AFFC

x

"Gulltown next," her captain told her, "thence around the Fingers to Sisterton and White Harbor, if the storms allow. She's a clean ship, 'Strider, not so many rats as most, and we'll have fresh eggs and new-churned butter aboard. Is m'lady seeking passage north?"

"No." Not yet. She was tempted, but . . . - Brienne V, AFFC

NOT YET. NOT YET! GULLTOWN -> SISTERTON -> WHITE HARBOR. HE TOLD US. HE FORESHADOWS EVERYTHING. IT'S RIGHT THERE.

+.+.+

"And is Ser Harrold with them?" Horrible Ser Harrold. "He is." Lord Belmore laughed. "I never thought Royce would let him come. Is he blind, or merely stupid?" "He is honorable. Sometimes it amounts to the same thing. If he denied the lad the chance to prove himself, it could create a rift between them, so why not let him tilt? The boy is nowise skilled enough to win a place amongst the Winged Knights."

Gosh, since his introduction, it seems like we've been constantly reminded that this upjumped squire is rather inept when it comes to sports.

"Our cousin Bronze Yohn had himself a mêlée at Runestone," Myranda Royce went on, oblivious, "a small one, just for squires. It was meant for Harry the Heir to win the honors, and so he did." - Alayne II, AFFC

+.+.+

"Come," Petyr said, "walk with me." He took her by the arm and led her deeper into the vaults, past an empty dungeon.

I will cut your eyelids off.

+.+.+

"Yes," she said, "but why must he be so cruel? He called me your bastard. Right in the yard, in front of everyone." "So far as he knows, that's who you are. This betrothal was never his idea, and Bronze Yohn has no doubt warned him against my wiles. You are my daughter. He does not trust you, and he believes that you're beneath him." "Well, I'm not. He may think he's some great knight, but Ser Lothor says he's just some upjumped squire."

Sansa's acquiring a new perspective through experiential learning: understanding the bastard experience. Aww. <3

+.+.+

Petyr put his arm around her. "So he is, but he is Robert's heir as well. Bringing Harry here was the first step in our plan, but now we need to keep him, and only you can do that. He has a weakness for a pretty face, and whose face is prettier than yours? Charm him. Entrance him. Bewitch him."

Getting to the good stuff.

I'll tell you one thing, I have more faith in Sansa successfully accomplishing this than 6-year-old Alys Karstark.

(-> -> -> Jon X?)

"It is my own fault. My lord father told me I must charm your brother Robb, but I was only six and didn't know how."

Aye, but now you're almost six-and-ten, and we must pray you will know how to charm your new husband. - Jon X, ADWD

I've said it a million times in other Sansa chapters, so I won't elaborate, but if you truly believe Littlefinger's plan is to wed Catelyn 2.0 to imitation Brandon Stark, you might be out of your mind.

Petyr put his arm around her.

I will pluck every hair from your head, and genitals.

+.+.+

"I don't know how," she said miserably. "Oh, I think you do," said Littlefinger, with one of those smiles that did not reach his eyes.

Excluding the instance where she copied Harry's words, that is the only time she calls him Littlefinger in this chapter.

She hasn't forgotten.

+.+.+

"You will be the most beautiful woman in the hall tonight, as lovely as your lady mother at your age. I cannot seat you on the dais, but you'll have a place of honor above the salt and underneath a wall sconce. The fire will be shining in your hair, so everyone will see how fair of face you are. Keep a good long spoon on hand to beat the squires off, sweetling. You will not want green boys underfoot when the knights come round to beg you for your favor." "Who would ask to wear a bastard's favor?"

"Harry, if he has the wits the gods gave a goose… but do not give it to him. Choose some other gallant, and favor him instead. You do not want to seem too eager."

I'd be hesitant to allow fire to shine in Sansa's hair.

This feels like a developing story. I'd love to know who is getting this favor if it's not Harry the Arse.

He had worn her favor in the Battle of the Blackwater, where he'd slain a Myrish crossbowman and a Mullendore man-at-arms. "Alyn said her favor made him fearless," said Megga. "He says he shouted her name for his battle cry, isn't that ever so gallant? Someday I want some champion to wear my favor, and kill a hundred men." - Sansa II, ASOS

x

"Saving yourself for Lord Robert?" Lady Myranda teased. "Or is there some ardent squire dreaming of your favors?" - Alayne II, AFFC

x

Edmure escorted her up the water stair and across the lower bailey, where Petyr Baelish and Brandon Stark had once crossed swords for her favor.  - Catelyn XI, AGOT

+.+.+

"Lady Waynwood will insist that Harry dance with you, I can promise you that much. That will be your chance. Smile at the boy. Touch him when you speak. Tease him, to pique his pride. If he seems to be responding, tell him that you are feeling faint, and ask him to take you outside for a breath of fresh air. No knight could refuse such a request from a fair maiden."

The above won't happen, but in her next chapter, I'll be super on edge whenever she's exposed and there aren't many people around.

+.+.+

Petyr drew her close and kissed her on both cheeks. "The night belongs to you, sweetling, Remember that, always."

I will make you deepthroat a cactus.

+.+.+

The feast proved to be everything her father promised. Sixty-four dishes were served, in honor of the sixty-four competitors who had come so far to contest for silver wings before their lord. From the rivers and the lakes came pike and trout and salmon, from the seas crabs and cod and herring. Ducks there were, and capons, peacocks in their plumage and swans in almond milk. Suckling pigs were served up crackling with apples in their mouths, and three huge aurochs were roasted whole above firepits in the castle yard, since they were too big to get through the kitchen doors. Loaves of hot bread filled the trestle tables in Lord Nestor's hall, and massive wheels of cheese were brought up from the vaults. The butter was fresh-churned, and there were leeks and carrots, roasted onions, beets, turnips, parsnips. And best of all, Lord Nestor's cooks prepared a splendid subtlety, a lemon cake in the shape of the Giant's Lance, twelve feet tall and adorned with an Eyrie made of sugar. For me, Alayne thought, as they wheeled it out. Sweetrobin loved lemon cakes too, but only after she told him that they were her favorites. The cake had required every lemon in the Vale, but Petyr had promised that he would send to Dorne for more.

A splendid subtlety, lol.

Nice, Littlefinger gifted her a giant penis. I wonder if the ones from Dorne taste any better. (I'm sorry.)

Look, it's a feast!

(-> -> -> Jon X?)

The stewards began to bring out the first dish, an onion broth flavored with bits of goat and carrot. Not precisely royal fare, but nourishing; it tasted good enough and warmed the belly. Owen the Oaf took up his fiddle, and several of the free folk joined in with pipes and drums. The same pipes and drums they played to sound Mance Rayder's attack upon the Wall. Jon thought they sounded sweeter now. With the broth came loaves of coarse brown bread, warm from the oven. Salt and butter sat upon the tables. - Jon X, ADWD

+.+.+

When the last course had been served and cleared, the tables were lifted from their trestles to clear the floor for dancing, and musicians were brought in.

[...] "As am I," Coldwater said. Rising, he offered Alayne his hand. "Would you honor me with this dance, my lady?" "You're very kind," she said, as he led her to the floor. He was her first partner of the evening, but far from the last. Just as Petyr had promised, the young knights flocked around her, vying for her favor. After Ben came Andrew Tollett, handsome Ser Byron, red-nosed Ser Morgarth, and Ser Shadrich the Mad Mouse. Then Ser Albar Royce, Myranda's stout dull brother and Lord Nestor's heir. She danced with all three Sunderlands, none of whom had webs between their fingers, though she could not vouch for their toes. Uther Shett appeared to pay her slimy compliments as he trod upon her feet, but Ser Targon the Halfwild proved to be the soul of courtesy. After that Ser Roland Waynwood swept her up and made her laugh with mocking comments about half the other knights in the hall. His uncle Wallace took a turn as well and tried to do the same, but the words would not come. Alayne finally took pity on him and began to chatter happily, to spare him the embarrassment. When the dance was done she excused herself, and went back to her place to have a drink of wine.

Oh my goodness, they're dancing! Ser Jon Waynwood sounds like a hoot.

(-> -> -> Jon X?)

The queen's men outnumbered the queen's ladies three to one, so even the humblest serving girls were pressed into the dance. After a few songs some black brothers remembered skills learned at the courts and castles of their youth, before their sins had sent them to the Wall, and took the floor as well. That old rogue Ulmer of the Kingswood proved as adept at dancing as he was at archery, no doubt regaling his partners with his tales of the Kingswood Brotherhood, when he rode with Simon Toyne and Big Belly Ben and helped Wenda the White Fawn burn her mark in the buttocks of her highborn captives. Satin was all grace, dancing with three serving girls in turn but never presuming to approach a highborn lady. 

[...]

"You could dance with me, you know. It would be only courteous. You danced with me anon."

"Anon?" teased Jon.

"When we were children." She tore off a bit of bread and threw it at him. "As you know well."

"My lady should dance with her husband." - Jon X, ADWD

Dance with me, Jon Snow! You'll dance with me anon.

Don't be offended Alys, you're not the right partner.

When the musicians began to play, she timidly laid her hand on Tyrion's and said, "My lord, should we lead the dance?"

His mouth twisted. "I think we have already given them sufficent amusement for one day, don't you?" - Sansa III, ASOS

And neither was he.

I won't get too deep into each dance partner, because this post is long enough, but I'm sure you can see there's more than a few allusions to Jon (Coldwater, Tollett, Ser Byron, Royce, etc.).

Read more here:

Allusions to Jon in The Dance Partners of TWOW, Alayne I (@cappymightwrite)

+.+.+

And there he stood, Harry the Heir himself; tall, handsome, scowling. "Lady Alayne. May I partner you in this dance?" She considered for a moment. "No. I don't think so." Color rose to his cheeks. "I was unforgivably rude to you in the yard. You must forgive me." "Must?" She tossed her hair, took a sip of wine, made him wait. "How can you forgive someone who is unforgivably rude? Will you explain that to me, ser?" Ser Harrold looked confused. "Please. One dance."

Charm him. Entrance him. Bewitch him. "If you insist."

Boo, hiss. Wrong dance partner!

She'll talk circles around you if you let her.

+.+.+

He nodded, offered his arm, led her out onto the floor. As they waited for the music to resume, Alayne glanced at the dais, where Lord Robert sat staring at them. Please, she prayed, don’t let him start to twitch and shake. Not here. Not now. Maester Coleman would have made certain that he drank a strong dose of sweetmilk before the feast, but even so.

Oh good, the doctor who keeps tempting fate is back.

Just give him a cup of the sweetmilk before we go, and another at the feast, and there should be no trouble."

"Very well." They paused at the foot of the stairs. "But this must be the last. For half a year, or longer." - Alayne II, AFFC

+.+.+

Instead she said, "I have heard that you are about to be a father." It was not something most girls would say to their almost-betrothed, but she wanted to see if Ser Harrold would lie. "For the second time. My daughter Alys is two years old."

Your bastard daughter Alys, Alayne thought, but what she said was, "That one had a different mother, though."

What a totally unique name we've given this kid!

(-> -> -> Jon X?)

Jon turned to Alys Karstark. "My lady. Are you ready?" - Jon X, ADWD

Did I say he's Brandon Stark? I meant Brandon Stark with a little hint of Robert Baratheon.

+.+.+

"Yes. Cissy was a pretty thing when I tumbled her, but childbirth left her as fat as a cow, so Lady Anya arranged for her to marry one of her men-at-arms. It is different with Saffron." "Saffron?" Alayne tried not to laugh. "Truly?" Ser Harrold had the grace to blush. "Her father says she is more precious to him than gold. He's rich, the richest man in Gulltown. A fortune in spices." "What will you name the babe?" she asked. "Cinnamon if she's a girl? Cloves if he's a boy?"

That roast is worthy of applause.

Fun words are everywhere!

(-> -> -> Jon X?)

"Hobb's mulled some wine with cinnamon and cloves. That'll warm us some."

"What's cloves?" asked Owen the Oaf. - Jon X, ADWD

+.+.+

"Saffron is very beautiful, I'll have you know. Tall and slim, with big brown eyes and hair like honey." Alayne raised her head. "More beautiful than me?" Ser Harrold studied her face. "You are comely enough, I grant you. When Lady Anya first told me of this match, I was afraid that you might look like your father." "Little pointy beard and all?" Alayne laughed. "I never meant..." "I hope you joust better than you talk."

I am extremely confident he does not.

Are tall girls with honey in their hair his type? Too bad.

+.+.+

For a moment he looked shocked. But as the song was ending, he burst into a laugh. "No one told me you were clever."

✨ Clever girl! ✨

Melisandre closed her eyes, remembering. "West."

"She is not coming up the kingsroad, then. Clever girl. [...]" - Melisandre I, ADWD

+.+.+

He has good teeth, she thought, straight and white. And when he smiles, he has the nicest dimples. She ran one finger down his cheek. "Should we ever wed, you'll have to send Saffron back to her father. I'll be all the spice you'll want." He grinned. "I will hold you to that promise, my lady. Until that day, may I wear your favor in the tourney?" "You may not. It is promised to… another." She was not sure who as yet, but she knew she would find someone.

Before I get to the last bit, can I tell you something?

I read a sizeable amount of fandom commentary on this chapter, and not one single person contemplated who she's saving her favor for. It didn't come up once.

People are either deliberately avoiding asking themselves that question, or they believe the ending of this chapter is insignificant, and the topic won't resurface again. I'm not sure which one annoys me more.

+.+.+

"You may not. It is promised to… another." She was not sure who as yet, but she knew she would find someone.

Now turn the page.

(-> -> -> Jon X?)

It's the Alys Karstark x Sigorn wedding chapter! Yay.

Interestingly, in the first few pages of that chapter, the author intentionally creates an initial impression that it's Jon Snow who is marrying Alys Karstark. Curious, isn't it?

Let's discuss what we know about the bride, who the author led us to believe Jon Snow was marrying.

According to the fandom, Alys Karstark is Jon Snow's girl in grey. Small problem with that, she never wears grey, and never travels near a body of water to get to Castle Black.

"I saw water. Deep and blue and still, with a thin coat of ice just forming on it. It seemed to go on and on forever."

"Long Lake. What else did you see around this girl?" - Melisandre I, ADWD

However, she was fleeing from a forced marriage. Her great-uncle has assumed the role of Lord of Karhold, and made her a match, despite lacking any rightful claim to the land or castle.

Your uncle … would that be Lord Arnolf?" "He is no lord," Alys said scornfully. [...] Uncle Arnolf is only castellan. - Jon IX, ADWD

↓

"Lysa was murdered before the document could be presented for her signature, so I signed as Lord Protector. I knew that would have been her wish." - Sansa I, AFFC

The marriage is to her uncle, Cregan Karstark. Sorry, I should clarify this uncle isn't actually her uncle, it's just what they call him.

He's my great-uncle, actually, my father's uncle. Cregan is his son. I suppose that makes him a cousin, but we always called him uncle. Now they mean to make me call him husband. - Jon IX, ADWD

↓

"Wed?" Sansa was stunned. "You and my aunt?" - Sansa VI, ASOS

x

"I am Alayne, Father. Who else would I be?" - Sansa I, AFFC

Perhaps you're wondering how we arrived at this point. Long ago, Alys' father desired her to marry the future Lord of Winterfell. Unfortunately, at that time, she was too young to captivate him with her charm.

"It is my own fault. My lord father told me I must charm your brother Robb, but I was only six and didn't know how." - Jon X, ADWD

↓

Charm him. Entrance him. Bewitch him. "If you insist." - Alayne I, TWOW

Instead, she was betrothed to Daryn Hornwood, and they were patiently awaiting her coming of age.

Before the war I was betrothed to Daryn Hornwood. We were only waiting till I flowered to be wed - Jon IX, ADWD

↓

If they do that … why, then we shall know that there is no taint in your blood, and when you come into the flower of your womanhood, you shall wed the king in the Great Sept of Baelor, before the eyes of gods and men. - Sansa IV, AGOT

Sadly, Daryn Hornwood died in the war. Rickard Karstark was forced to find her another lord to marry.

My father wrote that he would find some southron lord to wed me, but he never did. - Jon IX, ADWD

↓

When you're old enough, I will make you a match with a high lord who's worthy of you, someone brave and gentle and strong. - Sansa III, AGOT

Of course all that went to shit when Rickard Karstark got his head cut off.

Your brother Robb cut off his head for killing Lannisters. - Jon IX, ADWD

↓

"But they have the soft hearts of women. So long as I am your king, treason shall never go unpunished. Ser Ilyn, bring me his head!" - Arya V, AGOT

Now, it's worth mentioning that Alys' older brother Harrion is the rightful heir to Karhold. However, if he were to die, Alys would inherit Karhold, which ambitious men like her uncles are aware of.

Should my brother die, Karhold should pass to me, but my uncles want my birthright for their own. - Jon IX, ADWD

↓

"But he does not know you," Dontos insisted, "and he will not love you. Jonquil, Jonquil, open your sweet eyes, these Tyrells care nothing for you. It's your claim they mean to wed."

[...]

She never thought to have a claim, but with Bran and Rickon dead . . . It doesn't matter, there's still Robb, he's a man grown now, and soon he'll wed and have a son. - Sansa II, ASOS

x

"The man who weds Sansa Stark can claim Winterfell in her name," his uncle Kevan put in. "Had that not occurred to you?" - Tyrion IV, ASOS

x

"Winterfell has withstood fiercer enemies than me. It is Winterfell, is it not?"

"Yes," Sansa admitted.

He walked along outside the walls. "I used to dream of it, in those years after Cat went north with Eddard Stark. In my dreams it was ever a dark place, and cold." - Sansa VII, ASOS

Thankfully, most people in this story are familiar with the rules of succession.

If her brother is dead, Karhold belongs to Lady Alys. - Jon X, ADWD

↓

Jon said, "Winterfell belongs to my sister Sansa." - Jon IV, ADWD

Hence, the arranged marriage. Enter Cregan Karstark, a dangerous man who covets her birthright. He has a dark history, having buried multiple wives, and he would no longer need Alys if she ever had his child.

Once Cregan gets a child by me they won't need me anymore. He's buried two wives already. - Jon IX, ADWD

↓

"Only Cat." He gave her a short, sharp shove.

Lysa stumbled backward, her feet slipping on the wet marble. - Sansa VII, ASOS

x

Arya's gone, the same as Bran and Rickon, and they'll kill Sansa too once the dwarf gets a child from her. - Catelyn V, ASOS

Fear not, for this story finds a happy ending. Before her not-uncle can get his hands on her, our hero Jon Snow intervenes and arranges a marriage between Alys and a wildling, ensuring her safety and happiness.

"So," said Alys, as Jon poured, "I am now a woman wed. A wildling husband with his own little wildling army." - Jon X, ADWD

↓

I see what you are, Snow. Half a wolf and half a wildling, baseborn get of a traitor and a whore. - Jon X, ADWD

The guy is such a white knight, he even daydreams of gifting her Cregan's head! (Thank you @that-plo-koon for that one.)

I should make his head a wedding gift for Lady Alys and her Magnar, Jon thought, but dare not take the risk. - Jon X, ADWD

↓

[...] wishing she could hurt him, wishing that some hero would throw him down and cut off his head. - Sansa VI, AGOT

x

"Tromp tromp I'm a giant, I'm a giant," he chanted. "Ho ho ho, open your gates or I'll mash them and smash them." - Sansa VII

[...]

A mad rage seized hold of her. She picked up a broken branch and smashed the torn doll's head down on top of it, then pushed it down atop the shattered gatehouse of her snow castle. The servants looked aghast, but when Littlefinger saw what she'd done he laughed. "If the tales be true, that's not the first giant to end up with his head on Winterfell's walls." - Sansa VII, ASOS

Isn't that a great story? Other than a few amusing nuggets, that mostly covers everything.

My brother Harry is the rightful lord - Jon IX, ADWD [Brother Harry]

↓

"Harry the Heir?" - Alayne II, AFFC [Father Harry]

x

Jon turned to Alys Karstark. "My lady. Are you ready?" - Jon X, ADWD [Sister Alys]

↓

Your bastard daughter Alys, Alayne thought - Alayne I, TWOW [Daughter Alys]

So that's Alys Karstark, the girl George had us believing Jon Snow was marrying, in a chapter likely intended to follow this one.

While we're on the topic of that Jon Snow fakeout wedding, can I tell you what my favourite passage was?

The girl smiled in a way that reminded Jon so much of his little sister that it almost broke his heart. "Let him be scared of me." The snowflakes were melting on her cheeks, but her hair was wrapped in a swirl of lace that Satin had found somewhere, and the snow had begun to collect there, giving her a frosty crown. Her cheeks were flushed and red, and her eyes sparkled. - Jon X, ADWD

Ha ha ha! Me too, bud. I am also reminded of your little sister.

Boy, what a ride that was.

Final thoughts:

Fam,

WE DID IT!

I can't believe I finished.

-> return to menu <-

[dvzaiosamu]

dvzaiosamu here with another silly oneshot! This time the theme is about you being easily frustrated and stressed. And the pair today is no other than fem.reader and dazai!

and guess what inspired me to do this? Exactly! Myself, since it happend to me just now, soooo, I just decided to write something about it.

A blue-gray sky surrounds you as you walk on the tiles under the soles of your shoes. The sun hides behind the gray clouds and you just sigh, trying to relax after an event at work. Your (eye color) colored irises are overwhelmed by such memories, but looking at a pair of cats walking next to you distracts you from that thought and you manage to calm it down a bit.

"Everything is going to be okay... I just have to get home," you say to yourself.

As you continued walking, you ran into familiar people, but you kept your head down to avoid them, not because you didn't want to, it was because you didn't want them to see you so overwhelmed. Your steps accelerate and your gaze stays on the ground, you did not dare to look forward, but this action will have consequences—

—THUD.

You bump into someone. You didn't fall, but you took a step back. Your breath catches in your throat and you immediately look at who's in front of you.

"Dazai...?"

"(First name)?"

You spend a few seconds analyzing what happened. Your eyes look into his, but you try to avoid it, even though it's hard and it seems too obvious that you're nervous. The brown-haired young man looks at you with a raised eyebrow and his hands in his pockets.

"Are you okay? You look burdened," he tells you, his tone seeming soft but keeping his distinctive tone in his voice. "Something happened?"

“It's just a normal day at work, it's nothing,” you try to avoid his question, downplaying your problems with a weak, unconvincing smile.

"I can clearly see that something is happening, (First name)…” he sighs, his eyes softening slightly at your figure. “Come on, I'll walk you home and you can tell me what's wrong. I'm sure you'd prefer that to talking about it here."

"Really? No... I don't want to be a bother, you probably have a different destination, I don't want to delay you," you excuse yourself with one of your hands lazily making a gesture as if you were going to reach for something with your hand.

He smiles. "Don't worry, I don't have to go anywhere, I was just walking to my house. I don't mind going to yours if it means you explain to me what happened."

You sigh, giving Dazai the approval that you've given up making excuses. You take a light breath and look him in the eyes. "Alright, let's go."

He smiles back and turns to walk you to your house, which wasn't too far away. It seems that Osamu suspected from the beginning that something was wrong, whether related to your work or not, but he was aware that you were not at your best.

[TIMESKIP]

While you insert your key into the door of your home you feel as if everything is watching you, you become overwhelmed and turn the key in the opposite direction, all because out of nowhere you got into your head and imagined that, you sigh and feel a warm hand on your your shoulder that helps you concentrate. Finally you turn the key and open the door with a CLACK. You open the door and enter.

You close the door behind you and Dazai takes off his shoes, placing them facing the door and taking some slippers that you sometimes reserved for when he came to visit you, then you do the same and during that time you maintain a long silence.

"Now, are you going to explain to me what's wrong with you, belladonna? I can make my hypotheses, but I lack data to conclude," he tells you as you walk with him to the couch.

"You could say that I will try to explain it to you..." your gaze clouds slightly as you remember his words.

"Focus more, (First name) (Middle name) if you don't want me to fire you! Get to work faster if you don't want to lose your position at this job," his boss said this morning in the office with a rough and harsh tone.

You remember that as if you were living it right now, your eyes crystallize and you begin to feel the characteristic obstructive lump in your throat, a few tears accumulate in your eyes as you sit on the couch, Dazai next to you, noticing this and placing his hand on top of yours.

"Take it easy, don't worry, let those tears flow. You can explain it to me later, it doesn't have to be now," he adds.

As those tears slide down your cheeks, a small tremor takes over your body as the power of the salty tears intensifies. You instinctively hug Dazai, surprisingly he wasn't expecting this, but he agrees to hug you tenderly as he closes his eyes.

He allows you to relax for a few minutes, helping you eliminate stress by crying. Your hands grip his body tightly and the heat of his body helps you calm down.

When you manage to recover, you break away from the hug, still even with teary eyes. "Thank you..."

In response you get a small smile, his hands intertwine with yours in a comforting way and his eyes convey to you the tranquility of an afternoon contemplating the ocean while sitting on the sand.

“About what happened… Yes, you were right, something happened, yes, it was while I was working,” you pause to breathe. "My boss scolded me for not working faster and focusing on tasks, e-even though I just... couldn't keep up with everyone else, but I did my best, and I wasn't too far off on time in comparison to my coworkers."

"Don't worry about that, I know you're doing everything you can. Don't take his words so seriously, let the string of your kite break and you can fly high, without worrying about what you left behind," he smiled. "Do not worry, everything will be fine".

You nod your head and his words make a small smile appear on your lips. "Alright, alright."

Now, Dazai stands up from the couch without comment, this leaves you dumbfounded and you can't help but ask, "Where are you going? Aren't you staying longer?"

"I wish I really would stay, dear..." in that period of time he goes to the door and puts his shoes back on, leaving his slippers well placed, sighs and opens the door, but not before turning to you, and he smiles crookedly. "I have a matter to solve..."

"What matter?" You ask, but he just lets out a sound that sounded like a laugh.

He turns towards the door and just walks away, leaving you with a confused feeling on your face.

Where and what is Osamu going to do now?

No answers.

[sevenrenny]

I might as well ask you this because I enjoy your writing and way of expressing your opinions. Why do you personally ship Sonamy? What got you into Sonamy? What’s your favorite moment between the two? I know this is a very common question, but I hope you don’t mind me asking. 😅

Oh, this ought to be fun XD I don't mind at all. Send all the asks you like, I like to talk about my interests. I tend to ramble, so excuse my long texts. Gonna insert a break line so I don't torture my followers (that sentence makes it sound like I'm running a cult.)

Why do you personally ship Sonamy? What got you into Sonamy?

These two are connected, so it's fair to answer them both in one go. I'm very new to the fandom, unlike most of the people I've met who've been here for as long as they can remember. I originally had no interest in the franchise. Yeah, I played some games and watched the anime a few years back and had some cheap plastic toys from fast-food kiddie meals, but the franchise never stuck with me back then.

I got reintroduced through Sonic Prime around last year, which led to me reading the IDW comics, which is where I started getting into SonAmy. I really liked Amy in particular; surprising, seeing as she hadn't been my favorite character as a child. I liked Tails and Silver more back then, but the comic solidified Amy as my number one. In every fandom I've been in (HTTYD, MHA) I almost always gravitate toward characters who embody love, and that's the core of Amy.

Sonic was harder for me to decipher at first, seeing as he's more of a person who shows his emotions through action rather than words (in some iterations, at least.) But seeing him be more receptive in the comics and treating her better in more recent media portrayals piqued my interest because this wasn't how I remembered these two from when I was a kid. Seeing the progression from how their dynamic started to how it became made me feel proud of them.

And I'm one of those who likes to hypothesize that their affection used to be more one-sided but became mutual over time. Things change. Feelings change. People change. And I love that.

What’s your favorite moment between the two?

This. I think this is when I started seeing the ship as something I'd like. I've inserted the second panel as well because, while I know the first one is a no-brainer for some SonAmy shippers, I don't see many of them bringing up the follow-up panel.

Before this scene, Sonic kept rejecting Amy's proposal to go back to the Resistance with her (he had his reasons, as he saw investigating the circumstances of Eggman's absence and the waves of Badniks as a higher priority. Get to the snake's head to find the root of the problem.) He was in a hurry to get going. It wasn't until Amy told him she loved him for who he was and that she didn't want to change him that he stopped, got a little flustered, and proposed she come with him instead.

And she declined. She, too, had priorities.

Before this moment, it was possible he didn't see having both Amy and his stubborn way of doing things his way possible, but after, it might've finally clicked in his head that, Oh wait, I can have both? He's asked Amy to come along with him for other adventures afterward.

Also, can I just say how much I appreciate Sonic (who has a history of being touch averse) being more welcoming to her affection? Cause I do.

Okay, switching to Frontiers:

This scene is mostly quiet (I like nonverbal communication in general) and I found it too adorable to not mention. It's just for a few seconds, but the way Sonic does a little giddy skip when she waves him over, and the the fact that he just smiled so innocently the whole time he made his way over is just pure sweetness.

This short little misunderstanding/confrontation. This one's just plain fun for me. Sonic's impatience and inability to articulate his reasoning leads to him sounding like he's abandoning the Koco Amy really wants to help. She's putting the Koco before herself when Sonic's just worried about her. As soon as the misunderstanding is cleared up, Amy calms down, seeing it from his point of view now. It's a subtle little exchange, but knowing how these two used to not be great at communication in past games, and seeing them now deescalate a little misunderstanding this calmly brings me joy.

With each Koco the characters help, there's a certain theme associated between the Koco and Sonic's friends. The inventor Koco and Tails, trying to be of use to others; the soldier Kocos and Knuckles, both who had their people wiped out. For Amy, the Koco (the only Koco who goes by they/them, so that's what I'll be using for them here) is trying to reunite with their lover who had gone into battle. Throughout the game, Amy in her ghostly form can't touch anyone, and she expresses symptoms of dissociation, of feeling 'detached', that she's flying in a dream, but she wishes to just land.

Remember, Amy is a physically affectionate person, but she can't do much of anything, let alone feel anyone, in this situation. She has to leave it to her love, Sonic, to go into battles. She knows all too well how the Koco was feeling, being separated from their lover. When Amy and Sonic watch the Koco reunite with their partner for the last time, it hits Amy hard, and Sonic knows how affected she is by this. He gives her some time to grieve because he knows her well enough to understand this hit her hard. He tells her, "They're together now." And that's all that matters. And I love that scene. It's so mild compared to what others in the community might bring up, but I'm a sucker for the quieter moments like this.

I have to stop myself now before this turns into a novel lol

[barbatusart]

putting this below a cut cus it's a whole lot of me yapping about Hypothesized Vampire History lol but some de rerum natura-related thoughts below!

came upon these Wonderful thoughts in response to my last page chunk post, and right off the bat thank you So much for the thoughts folks i love thoughts on the nonsense im sculpting lol. with the matter of casting donnela as emin's (cazador's baby elf name that i picked out of a hat) mother, idk if its ever going to openly come up in de rerum natura, but personally i had it in mind that she explicitly did Not want to turn him into a vampire. im trying in this comic to avoid black&white characterizations and present people as multifaceted as possible, & in the spirit of that i figured that donnela Very much did not want to pass the curse of vampirism on to her son & deliberately kept him mortal, in fact planning on outliving him. maybe out of love, maybe out of not wanting to give up any sort of held power by even risking having her son as a spawn - maybe a fair mix of both, i dont know. vampires kind of present themselves as having a glamour of immortality & eternal youth & all that, but the tragedy of vampirism imho is being forced to step out of time & exist forever in a sort of stasis while the world and its people change around you. i think somewhere deep down, power-hungry ideals aside, i think at her core even though she was a monster in other ways, she couldnt bear to force her boy to suffer the same fate. maybe in her way it was her trying to break the cycle but not being clever enough to fully disengage from it, since she still was making spawn & still was treating them like dogshit. A for effort i guess? also with all that in mind, hopefully that sheds even more light on vellioth going out of his way to turn emin into a spawn & his motivations as one last final fuck-you towards her 😬

with regards to emin's eye color also, i just picked blue as the most opposite of red just to showcase in the very rough roughs that he was still mortal lol but thats subject to change to whatever color. are the szarrs a family of moon elves?? i guess theyre moon elves but they could be sun elves made really pasty by vampirism, who knows lol

also on the matter of "how did a vampire have a kid" - it's DND baby wizardry exists dont worry about it LOL

[gildedworld]

Sleepless Nights Part 2

Of late odd things had been happening. Odder than usual, that was.

Ever since Roasaria had seen Rhiannon's face, she seemed to see Rhiannon everywhere. She was fairly certain that no one else could see Rhiannon - humans and mutants included.

Rhiannon was everywhere, much to Rosaria's annoyance. She was there when Rosaria was awake, and when she slept and when she was awake. She never left Rosaria's mind, constantly hovering over her.

And that wasn't the worst part.

Of late, other things were happening, too. Rosaria seemingly was hearing the thoughts of everyone around her - humans, mutants, and even animals. She heard them thinking in their native language, and somehow, the thoughts were translating to Rosaria's native language within her mind. And these thoughts kept swirling around her mind.

When she was awake, it was annoying, but she could control it by anchoring her thoughts on a sepecific object or person - just as the Professor had taught her. But the problem was when she slept. She still heard their thoughts and they still swirled around in her mind.

What was worse was that depending on what Rosaria was dreaming of, when she awoke the next morning, it would take place. One night in particular, she wanted water and could feel herself drinking it from her bottle during her sleep - she could feel the water in her throat. The next morning, she awoke to find her desk had somehow been transformed into a pool of water, suspended precariously over Rosaria's head.

Rosaria wasn't sure what was going on. From what the Professor had hypothesized, she was going through a sudden surge in her abilities and that only served to scare her further. She knew in the day, it was not a problem because she was awake and in control. But at night..

So far, it was just a table turned into water, but who knew what it would be the next time? She couldn't afford to take that chance and find out. Because of that, Rosaria had resorted to not sleeping off late.

Some nights, Rosaria would lay awake, staring at the ceiling in her room. Other nights, she'd wander through the Academy halls, hoping to occupy herself and make the time pass by faster.

Most nights, everyone else would be asleep. But on some occasions, she would follow the lights to the library to see Alex flipping through another book in the Professor's collection.

Even though Alex wasn't her favorite person by far, she felt a strange kind of comfort with him. She could talk to him, like really talk to him. And he would just listen - he wouldn't judge her, nor would he peach. He would just quietly read, nodding as she spoke.

But at the same time, Rosaria knew he didn't just brush off her words either. She knew he took them seriously. But at the same time, he had never betrayed her trust.

It was hard for her to explain in words. But she felt comfortable around him. Comfortable enough to sleep.

And so, this had become their routine off late - Alex would wait for her in the library, knowing that she couldn't sleep. Rosaria would meet him in the library and inadvertently would fall asleep beside him as he continued to read a book from the Professor's collection.

And come dawn, everything would return back to normal - Alex would wake up Rosaria, and they'd return to their rooms to get ready for the day once more - both of them awake, both of them in control.

[ego-sum-imperator]

What if Caranthir didn’t fled south with Amrod and Amras during Dagor Bragollach and earned his name of « Caranthir », « red face » at that moment?

To begin with, I’ll come back to the etymology of the name of Caranthir is the sindarized version of the name « Carnistir » which mean « red face »and which is the mother-name of the character. (Elves have three names: the mother-name, the father-name and the chosen name (the name they chose when they turn 20 and by which they’re known)).

We can note that this is a rare case of reuse of the mother-name, as it usually the father-name that is kept and considered the most important.

Caranthir (‘s father-name is Morifinwë which mean « Dark Finwë and later he’s known as Caranthir the Dark.

We don’t know exactly why Nerdanel named him « red face »

He was red when he’s born because he cried a lot?

Got a lot of freckles (later in life because we’re not born with)?

Presence of an angioma on his face?

I’m currently drawing the last two hypotheses, but I’ll put them aside for a new one I had for this « What if? ».

During the Dagor Bragollach in F.A. 455 (« Battle of Sudden Flame »), the siege of Angbang is broken and the armies of Morgoth were able to invade and ruin the Northland (Dorthonion, Lothlann, Thargelion, etc.).

In Thargelion, Glaurung come and burned the lands at the foot of Ered Luin while the cohorts of Orcs move more far in the North and took Caranthir’s fortress in Mount Rerir. And when it happen, Caranthir fled South with his brothers.

BUT!!!

What if Caranthir earned his name at that moment?

Before being known as «Caranthir», he was known as Morifinwë or by another name he choose and Carnistir isn’t his mother-name.

In y mind, Glaurung lead the orcs to lake Helevorn where the abode of //Caranthir// is. As a Lord, he’s insured that his people unable to fight were able to flee before leaving with the soldiers in oder to fight the dragon and the orcs. Without sucess…

This bring me to the essential point of this « What if? »

During the battle between Morgoth’s forces and those of //Caranthir’s//, the latter found himself in direct confrontation with Glaurung. A fight in which the elf was badly burned in the face, leaving him with a severer burn later on, hence it’s name « Caranthir », « red face ».

Wounded, //Caranthir// was taken prisoner with some of his soldiers by Glaurung and the orcs, and then imprisoned in Angbang.

No one would have known what had happened to //Caranthir// since neither he nor his soldiers returned from Mount Rerir.

No one would have known that he was alive (albeit in a bad way) in Angbang's prisons and would have been considered dead.

[grisailledreams]

Please put the beauty industry on blast for often treating chronic incurable skin conditions and even stuff like mild temporary acne as things you can just ~solve~ by buying expensive creams/treatments, “drinking more water,” or “not being fat/dirty.” 🙃

OOOOOOOHHHHH MY GOD I WILL BLAST THEM ALL DAY FOR THIS.

Also Christ, I went through so many drafts of this because I just kept rambling because there is SO MUCH to say about this, way more than what I have here. Kristin and I have talked about this kind of thing S O much. Under a cut because it is LONG.

First and foremost: There are no skin conditions that come to mind that involve being fat or dirty. N O N E. As my instructor likes to say, "Did you rub dirt on your face? Then you're not dirty." I won't even elaborate on the fat thing because that's just ridiculous and honestly boils down to the same thing (because of course "Fat People are Dirty Sweaty Grease-Soaked Slobs"). Y'all wanna know what causes most of the common disorders?

Acne - Genetics/hormones, friction, or skin sensitivities. Congrats, you're really good at producing sebum, a vital component of your skin's protective barrier!

Keratosis Pilaris - Genetics, occasionally made worse by harsh exfoliation. Congrats, you're really good at producing keratin, the building block protein that makes up skin, hair, and nails!

Rosacea - Who the Fuck Knows, but the National Rosacea Society hypothesizes that it's either down to the way your immune and neurovascular systems function, serious systemic diseases (none of which are Obesity), or a species of mite that everyone has on their skin already.

Psoriasis - Immune disorder.

Eczema - Who the Fuck Knows, probably a combo of genetics and environmental factors.

HS - Who the Fuck Knows, but probably genetics/hormones.

All of these things have flare-ups or cyclic behavior, btw. Flareups can have a hundred causes, it just depends on the individual! Stress is common across the board, but it's far from the only one. What doesn't happen? Get breakouts or flare-ups by being Dirty or Fat or Eating Poorly. Your skin just Does Stuff. So many genetic disorders come down to "My skin makes More or Less of something than is ideal for my body" or "My body is Very Protective of me." Literally, every disorder pretty much comes down to genetics, illness, or Who the Fuck Knows (because there is not enough research being done on way too many disorders). And none of this is simply "fixed" or "cured" by throwing money at the problem, regardless of what anyone tells you.

Does a skincare routine make your skin feel good? Sure! Soft skin feels nice and might give your mental health a boost because you're doing something nice for yourself most days. Also you do a lot of blood flow stimulation in the process and that might make you feel a bit more energized. But if you have a disorder and you feel like you've Tried Everything to no avail, it is not your fault, either. Skin, entire functioning organ that it is, is so much more complex than a skincare routine makes it seem.

My biggest takeaway from this education has just been Bodies Do Stuff and Everyone's Skin is Different. If you have a skin disorder, including all the hundreds of disorders I didn't mention, you are not dirty or bad or gross. Your skin just Does Stuff and the Beauty and Wellness industries are really bad at saying, accepting, and teaching this - it doesn't make money, after all.

[nknovakwrites]

Hope, Astarion, and Friends on the Road to Baldur's Gate Part Three: I Can't Go Yet, Don't Let Me Die

(This takes place in Act 3, after meeting the Petras and Dalyria in the Rivington flophouse and getting the Elfsong room in the lower city of Baldur's Gate.)

“Here.”

Hope took the scroll that Astarion handed her. “What’s this?” 

“It’s a spell scroll.”

Hope unfurled the scroll to see it was indeed a spell scroll for enchanting an item with daylight. Why?

“You were right,” Astarion added as if reading Hope’s mind. 

“Of course I was,” Hope replied. “What was I right about?”

“The other spawn will warn Cazador we’re here, they might come for me before we get to him so this is just to keep you safe. Keep it on you at all times.”

“Even sleep with it?” Hope asked as a joke.

“Yes,” Astarion responded, very much not joking.

Hope had never seen Astarion this serious about anything.

“Alright, I will.”

The vampire spawn had invaded the camp. Hope was so tired and in such a deep sleep that she wouldn’t have even woken if it wasn’t for Astarion shouting, “get the hells away from me!”

She jumped up and grabbed her short sword and violin, both never far from her. Hope and her allies fought hard but they were at a clear disadvantage! Hope, Astarion, Karlach, and Shadowheart were the only ones in camp, sleeping after being out in Baldur’s Gate since dawn (the others were using the cover of night to scout the steel watch foundry, looking for a way to sneak in the wasn't the guarded front door.) Meanwhile, the spawn were well rested having slept during the day. Hope was especially sloppy; she was tired and scared for Astarion. What should have been hits were all critical misses and she was leaving herself open to attacks from all sides. Shadowheart tried to pull her fearless (if very sleepy) leader into her side so she would be protected by the spirit guardians but before she could, arms wrapped around Hope’s neck.

Astarion, seeing what was happening, tried to run towards her, leaving him open to an opportunity attack from behind. He fell and when he got to his feet again Hope was gone.

The first thing Hope felt was her head pounding. The second thing was something hard and cold under her body, so she wasn’t in bed in camp. She kept her eyes closed as the events of the night swam back into her mind. She was likely in Cazador’s Palace. Okay. That’s okay. Well, not okay. Not at all okay but it could be worse (could it be worse?) Hope forced herself to stay calm and look at the facts. She was alive, as evidenced by her hammering heart and the lack of pain in her neck meant she hadn’t been bitten, but she didn’t know how long she had been in the palace. She hypothesized it couldn’t have been long if her friends had yet to show up and try to save her but it was long enough for them to bound her arms and legs in rope and leave her laying on what Hope could only assume was a marble floor. She had dropped her violin when she was grabbed but she could still feel the spell scroll tucked into her shirt. She-

“I know you’re awake.”

That voice wasn’t familiar and yet Hope knew it was Cazador. He didn’t sound like what she was expecting if she was being honest.

Hope opened her eyes (it was a marble floor) as Hope righted herself so she was kneeling forward rather than laying on her side, made a little more difficult with her bonds, she wondered if Cazador could hear her heartbeat and that’s how he knew she was awake. It was unsettling. Even more unsettling was Cazador himself. This was the first time Hope had laid eyes on him after hearing about him from Astarion. He towered over her, even if Hope hadn’t been on her knees Cazador would still be a head taller than her. His pale skin caused his red eyes to stand out even more. She really hoped he couldn’t hear her heartbeat because if he could he’d know it was hammering, terrified.

“What do you want with me?” Hope asked when she found her voice, trying her best to mask her fear. She stood up against demons and immortals, she could handle a vampire. 

“I didn’t want you. I wanted the boy. My lost son you are traveling with and yet they brought me you. So, I will have to use you as bait.”

Hope shook her head, she should have stopped speaking but she didn’t, “Astarion won’t come to rescue me, not without a plan and the rest of the party right behind him.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes,” Hope said firmly.

“Then, I guess I’ll just have to find someone to replace him for the ritual.”

He grabbed Hope, lifting her by her neck. Enough so she could breathe but just barely. Despite the fear swirling in her gut and the sudden lack of air, Hope felt an idea spark in the back of her mind, a very, very bad idea.

“I thought the last sacrifice had to be a vampire spawn,” Hope croaked out.

“Right, you are, girl.”

“Wait! Don’t!”

Cazador sunk his teeth into Hope’s neck.

Now, Hope had been bitten by Astarion more times than she could count by now, so many times she barely felt it anymore. The first time it hurt a little, but this hurt much more than that!

Luckily, Hope’s blood had recently gone through a change thanks to a woman named Araj Obladra who made Hope’s blood explosive. She barely felt the flames as they spread from her body to Cazador’s but she did feel as he pulled away and the rope which held her was burned off. She jumped away from Cazador’s reach, stopped only to cast daylight on herself, then turned and ran out of the palace.

As Hope bolted down the street, she could feel herself start to become fatigued. Fortunately, the sky was starting to turn pink, the tell-tale sign of dawn. No one should be following her. Still, she fell to her knees in the street. Why was it so hard to breathe all of a sudden? And who had just put their arm on her shoulder?! She grabbed the wrist and looked up to see Astarion. She let out a sigh of relief and felt Astarion pick her up before the world turned black.

Astarion bolted back to the Elfsong with his friends at his side and his Hope in his arms. He didn’t miss the bite marks in her neck. That son of a bitch Cazador bit her, he tried to turn her into one of his spawn! If she turned into a vampire. . . He decided not to think about that, he had to get her to Withers. Astarion was admittedly nervous that Withers wouldn’t be able to do anything for her, if he could cure vampirism you would have thought he would have brought it up before now.

“I cannot cure vampirism,” Withers said, “but Hope isn’t yet a vampire. I can bring her back from the dead, stopping the transformation in its tracks.”

“Then, do it!” Astarion said, losing his patience with every word.

“By doom and dusk I strike thy names from the archives rise,” Withers said, accompanied by some handwaving.

A blue looking magic flowed into Hope’s body turning her stiff and pale body pinker. Within seconds she had taken a deep breath and opened her eyes. She looked up at the companions surrounding her, “hey, guys, did I miss something?”

[unhingedhearties]

Let's Just Do These All At Once

Liz is spiraling and rather than make several posts saving the evidence of her horrible behavior, I'll group a few of them together in one post.

🤷🏽‍♀️ Didn't Erin say she met Ben before working on WCTH? I swear she said something like that during the interview tour her and Kevin did a few months ago.

Also, yeah... people marry people they meet through work. You know why that is? Because we spend the majority of our days working. What a concept! You're not going to meet Mr. Right being hunkered down in your parent's basement.

More CSI investigations on Erin's finger indents. She should start wearing a ring on each finger and thumb. Really throw Liz off.

Liz can't comprehend the idea of Team Lucas and Team Nathan fans sitting together and not acting like chimps. It's such a foreign concept.

"Think about it! To be *that* famous that you need a body guard!"

Yeah, Liz. Think about it. Think about actors from a HALLMARK TV show meeting HALLMARK fans and still feeling so unsafe they need someone to protect them. Imagine the kind of sub-human, serial killer-esque psychopaths they probably have to deal with that have driven them to the point that they feel they need that kind of protection when meeting a roomful of middle-aged women.

Think about it.

Speaking of psycopaths...

No one else in the world is allowed to be happy if Liz is miserable at home. Miserable through her own choices.

And people like Liz think Hallmark should listen and cater to them.

My hope for Season 12 is Hallmark makes decisions that spit in the face of fans like Liz. Anything and everything that would drive them into a tailspin, do it. Troll the hell out of the lowest, scummiest people who call themselves Hearties.

I know Hallmark won't. It's too corporate and clean-cut, but I can dream, right?

Erin no longer wears a corset, something that permanently destroys your body, and instead has a normal, human woman proportion and weight... therefore she must be pregnant.

Let's pretend she was pregnant. I'm going to guess that Erin isn't stupid. I'm also going to guess that the costume designer isn't stupid. I'm going to guess that the entire legal department of WCTH/Hallmark aren't stupid because no one in their right mind would say "You're pregnant? Sure, go ahead and wear a corset. Lol, who knows, but I'm sure it'll be fine." That's a lawsuit waiting to happen.

Also, Liz has constantly been a gross entitled pig when it comes to Erin "being private" (being private in this case apparently meaning that Erin doesn't broadcast every minute and intimate detail about her life). She's constantly screaming about how it's so unfair that she doesn't know everything about Erin, but then hypothesizes that Erin suffered a miscarriage and kept it private and I'm...

I'm baffled. I can not follow this train of thought.

In Liz's mind is Erin supposed to go on Instagram live sitting in the bathroom and announce to her fans that she just had a miscarriage and hashtag it to make sure everyone sees it?

And she has the audacity to wonder why Erin, other cast members and Hallmark/WCTH related accounts have blocked her.

[abs-of-marmalade]

Sprawling Theory Crafting

To start, I want to say that even though a lot of Aziraphale's pitch to Crowley make sense with his character, I don't believe he's thrown away all his character growth at the prospect of returning to heaven. He believes in the world and he believes in Crowley, and he understands both of them eons better now than he had at the start of the season.

I've been thinking, maybe the reason Aziraphale is really desperate for Crowley to come is because he was given the choice of either going to heaven with him or getting his mind erased of him.

I think Metatron saw how powerful the two of them together are (the tiniest combined miracle set off every alarm in heaven??) and needed to separate them. Otherwise they could upset heaven's entire power structure. He wanted to still appear "fair" (keeping up heaven's image) by offering A the option of taking C to heaven knowing C would never accept.

But then why couldn't A tell C about the options? Maybe there was a misguidedly noble reason, which would certainly be in character. But I think he was being watched, because during that final speech A kept looking nervously out the bookshop window. And most likely, telling C would have had consequences. Maybe M said that C had caused such interference in the Divine Plan that he had to be erased from the book of life if he presented any further interference.

When M mentions the Second Coming, A looks alarmed and concerned, not placid. That's his true feelings peeking out. He smiles politely to M, but when he's not being watched you can see his true colors.

When A's finally in the elevator, there's this weird rollercoaster of emotion on his face, like a battle between worry and satisfaction. WHY would he be worried instead of in despair, and WHY would he feel satisfied? I think he's worried C might believe he meant everything he said. But he's not worried about ACTUALLY losing C, otherwise he'd be broken. I think he smiled because in the end things are happening according to his plan, and he trusts C to do what comes next.

REMEMBER EARLIER when Nina asked why he doesn't come up with his own plan and he said "oh I am, but rescuing me makes him so happy." This is being reflected now, as he has his own plan and NEEDS CROWLEY TO THINK HE NEEDS SAVING. That's part of it!

I have a million more thoughts but need to figure out how they all fit in. What do you think?? Are there any holes in my hypotheses so far? Would love to hear more thoughts.