#and some of the silver age stuff but only ever for the plot not for those characters specifically

[necrotic-nephilim]

What do you think about the fab five polycule

(Dick x donna x wally x garth x roy)

i'll be SO honest i wish i had like. insightful interesting opinions on them but i've always been a Young Justice kid and sort of. breezed past consuming Fab Five Teen Titans content-

but of what i *do* know, from the few comics i've read with these characters is this is one of the best ships for Dick, honestly. it always deeply annoys me when fanon content breezes past the Titans as if they're just some distant teammates and not some of Dick's closest friends, if not a second family. *especially* the Fab Five. for most, if not all of them, it's the first time getting to actually connect with other teen heroes. so there's something fun about how sort of terrible they are at it, at first. they all care about each other a lot. but they're kind of chucked into the deep figuring out how to work with each other and get along with *very* different personalities, so it's fun to see where the conflict comes.

as a ship, i do really love it. the Titans are a family. like we call a lot of teams found families, but for the Fab Five, that shit is the truest. they depend on each other and trust each other. when Dick and Bruce are on outs and Bruce fires him, he goes to the Titans.

i also enjoy how, to an extent, all of them are outsiders of some kind. Donna is alone in a new world she's never experienced, the same as Garth. Roy is still new and awkward to living the rich life with Oliver. Wally doesn't connect to his parents well. and of course, Dick has lost his parents and only has Bruce, who isn't the most emotionally available. of course they're going to cling to each other, as the first people they can really develop connections too. they're very clingy with each other and i think that's both cute and *fun* to explore like, codependency issues with them. how protective they can be of each other, how they default to trusting each other over their mentors, etc. it's all very interesting for a polycule, especially since for most of them, it's their first real relationship. i'm a big fan of "none of us know what dating looks like bc we've had such strange childhoods so we don't understand the Rules very well. we're all just going to date each other bc why would i date only one of you. do teamups count as dates now." vibes with teenage polycules. and the Fab Five just. have that on lock. they each fulfill a different "niche" in the group. Garth is the softer, more emotional one you can go to if you're upset. Donna is the one for planning bright fun trips and making sure you don't wallow. Roy is protective and can pretend to be suave, but he shows affection through gift giving and grand gestures where words fail him. Wally can cheer any of them up with jokes and distractions. and of course Dick is the logical one who makes sure they all keep their heads on and don't drown in the responsibility.

overall i think it's a really cute ship and i do wish i just. knew more about them to be able to write them/read fic of it because i do love their dynamic. and i'm just a firm believer in the Titans being Dick's family, just as important to him as the Batfam. they're a disaster and for that you gotta love them.

[niko-jpeg]

Sooo ur new horizons au...*cough*

Can u plz plz plz drop anything else u have about it 😭🙏 I'm literally so intrigued. I wanna know how they're all like in ur version. It's so rare to find Boom works around here😔

Also u said ask about knux in it so um

Im asking 👁️👁️

what's up with the red boyo (scared)

I have never been so excited to receive an ask in my life. Buckle up, this one’s gonna be a long one.

So; Sonic Boom New Horizons is an au that takes the setting of Sonic Boom and some semblance of the main characters backstories, the mainline games, and aspects of the Archie and IDW comics and blends them together into an au that is secretly about trauma management LMAO. There are two protagonists: Sonic and Silver (“Slipper”, as he goes by in the story). Every ‘arc’, the main character swaps off.

The story picks up with Sonic 06, with Sonic as the focus character. He, Amy, and Tails have saved just enough money to afford their dream trip to Soleanna for their Festival of the Sun, and so just that! 06 more or less follows a similar format as it does in the game, with quality of life improvements and inconsistencies played for a gag, like in the show. There’s only really one major difference: Slipper and Blaze.

See, Slipper is from the future, but the future isn’t actually under attack by Iblis. Iblis is in the Sol Dimension, because Solaris is an inter dimensional god and the barrier between the Sol Dimension and Sonic’s dimension is really thin in Soleanna. The Sonic Rush games don’t actually happen, so it’s the first time that Blaze and Sonic meet, and of course, Slipper too.

So, why is there a Silver there to begin with? Well, he too is an orphaned hedgehog of ambiguous origins, but in his future, he’s a lot less lucky. Because of the weird markings that appear on his body as he ages (in response to psychological distress, making his ability to get stronger a sort of self defense), he was pretty severely bullied and his trust in other people shattered. Mephiles finds him and realizes he’s the perfect candidate to manipulate to kill Sonic, because he’s DESPERATE to escape his life. And so, Meph facilitates a deal between him and Blaze that if Slipper helps get rid of Iblis, she’ll let him stay in her dimension.

Slipper’s lore is really long and would warrant its own post (since he’s the secondary protagonist and all that), so I’ll skip a great deal of the details for now and move on. By the time the timeline is overwritten, Shadow, Sonic, Slipper, and Elise are the only people who remember the events of the previous timeline, and Sonic decides that he can’t go back to Seaside Island anymore. He tries to pretend it’s because Eggman’s ploys are going international and planetary and Seaside Island is too isolated.

But, in reality (and the reason Amy and Tails agree pretty much on the spot to leave and never look back) it’s because the village people treat Sonic and the crew like they’re gods, but nothing they ever do is good enough. They only care about the five of them because they protect the island and only care that they’re acting as an unit, and not for them as people. Knuckles remains on Angle Island (which is anchored above Seaside Island), and Sticks stays behind, but the rest of them begin their new lives as the heroes of the world, and not just of their thankless island.

So, from there it follows the games plots with original stuff here and there to help develop their characters, with the Boom humor turned down a little to mostly just dramatic irony and Teenagers Being Teenagers ™. Because this story is one that’s supposed to sort of bait and switch. You come for the silly Sonic Boom 06 adaptation, you stay for the exploration of childhood trauma and how to heal from it from the rest of the story.

I will mention, just briefly, that Sonic and Slipper are somewhat romantically involved? I almost hesitate to call it that, but by the time frame between Colors and Generations, their relationship is certainly. Hurtling towards something. They work really well as protagonists and as partners. Sonic is pretty much the first person that he ever trusts again, and Slipper stands up for Sonic and refuses to let people walk all over him during the Return to Seaside Island mini arc. Actually allow me to elaborate rq.

So RTSI takes places between Free Riders and Colors, where Sticks calls them back to the Island to solve a mystery and Sonic invites Slipper, Shadow, Rouge, and Omega for a little “beach episode”. This little arc especially shows the way that the five are treated by the island folk, and Slipper is the first to piece together what exactly is happening and what they’re trying to hide and pretend is normal.

They flinch when people raise their voices at them. They apologize a lot. And a whole lot of weird shit that doesn’t happen when they’re not on the island. Slipper picks up on it first because he sees what’s happening as shit that happened to *him*. There’s a specific scene where Sonic is being privately chewed out by the mayor for something and Slipper just snaps, refusing to let Sonic let himself get stepped on because he’s afraid to speak up. It’s a really good moment both for Slipper (refusing to let what happened to him ever happen to anyone he cares about) and Sonic (finding his voice again, even in front of his abusers). And if you think “oh that’s not in character” just trust me. It 100% is, for this timeline’s Sonic.

That’s the funny thing about trauma. It makes you act in ways that are self contradictory or don’t make sense.

OKAY moving on to Knuckles. There’s no smooth way to transition this so I’ll just go ahead and start here. Knuckles is the last echidna of Angle Island and all that, much more closely aligned with his game counterpart than Sonic Boom, just because I wanted it to be.

Knuckles has two “imaginary” friends, Tikal and Chaos, and no one believes that he can see them until the events of Sonic Adventure LMAO. They are tied to the ME, and stick around after SA too. Sonic feels dumb for accusing Knuckles of being too old for Imaginary Friends now lmao.

He’s not really on the best terms with his downstairs neighbors, but whatever. He and Sticks tag team when they need help while the other 3 are gone, and only really gets involved when dragged into things (in the games). There’s just something so somber and sad about being the last of your kind accompanied by two ghosts on an island that floats with an all powerful gemstone that Sonic’s rival’s best friend keeps trying to steal. Would he like to be with the three off on adventures? Probably. But this is his duty. His lonely, lonely duty.

Thank you for letting me ramble about my brainchild, I LOVE talking about it and it’s so much fun. If you want to know more, PLEASE don’t hesitate to ask. It’s a massive story and has a special place in my heart, and it’s just. So much fun

Thanks for reading <3

[thevindicativevordan]

Comics this week ?

Action Comics #1076 - I’m out. I can’t justify buying a weekly series that I’m not enjoying, the cost is too high. Waid delivers at least one good character beat an issue, for Clark anyway, but his plots are terrible. Henry simply doesn’t have enough time to make the art look good. Waid’s Kenan/Kon voices are seriously off-kilter, although Kon becoming Space Emperor of the Khunds is the first interesting direction for him since his return. I continue to enjoy the Kara backup but hopefully I can get a trade of it somewhere. What a disappointment this turned out to be from Waid, serious possibility that LDoLL is the final Superman story from him I buy. I genuinely believe that the election shredding his belief in Silver Age storytelling conventions might be the best thing that has ever happened to him as a writer. It’s time for him to evolve or retire.

World’s Finest #33 - Almost dropped this too but I’m holding off to see if that Jimmy story next issue can hold my interest.

Jenny Sparks #4 - I liked it. Glad Jenny got shocked when Carla actually killed Ronald, she’s been fairly smug and cynical about everything and that can get annoying if it’s never undermined. I’d say contrasting Obama bragging about how killing Bin Laden makes Western civilization safer with Jenny setting up one of the CEOs responsible for causing the Great Recession which basically destroyed millennials chances of upward mobility and revealed the hollowness of American capitalism is pretty heavy handed… except people seem to think King is writing an America Fuck Yeah story so maybe it’s not heavy handed ENOUGH. The point being that the methods of Obama, and Jenny who previously shared them, wherein you kill the “bastards” and use violence to make the world better is completely worthless when the world you’re aiming to protect is rotting from within.

Wonder Woman #15 - For a run that didn’t plan to use the WGs at all initially, King has done more than anyone else in recent memory to make me like them. Diana trusting Cheetah enough to interrogate someone did feel like a stretch, I dunno if I buy that she’d be that quick to trust Barbara to hold back. Great issue, and I loved the backup with Steve. I really am eager to see more of a deep dive into him as a character.

Ultimate Spider-Man #11 - Read this first and it’s probably why I’m harsh on Waid because this might be the platonic ideal of a Spider-Man issue. Perfect mix of superhero action and organic drama. Spidey gets to snark back at the civs who give him grief, show how much he’s grown as a hero via taking down a bunch of henchmen single-handedly, and when he loses it’s not because of incompetence or “Parker Luck”, but because Peter is too compassionate for his own good and doesn’t want to hurt the brainwashed people. Even gets some respect from the villains with Negative immediately recognizing that Spidey is someone he can’t control.

Meanwhile on the drama side, MJ reveals she’s freaking out beneath her mask of calm because seeing Peter arrive home all beaten and bloody hammers how serious the stakes are. Peter and MJ get a heart to heart conversation where they talk about their concerns like adults, and then they get horny because they love each other! With Ben at the end we get the reveal that he knows Peter is Spider-Man, and Ben again drives home how serious the danger is by asking Peter if he’s ready to die, which Peter answers in the negative. It’s great stuff! It’s Hickman deftly predicting every complaint people might have about this slow burn and responding accordingly! The first year of USM has been “the good times”, but now as we enter the second year the story is setting up Spidey for a fall. Someone is going to die, that much is clear, only question is who. Ben is the obvious choice, he even thinks it will be himself based on his talk with Peter, but right now I think it’s going to be Jonah who bites it.

[plasticbag3207]

Alastor and Vox Possibly Knew Each Other in Life

I recently started writing/planning a fic centering around how Alastor and Vox met, and how their friendship turned sour into what their rivalry is today. I’m sure people have already written fics like this but I haven’t seen any (not that I’ve been looking) with this as the main plot and without heavy shipping.

Until literally this morning I wasn’t ever quite able to peg down Alastor and Vox’s ages. I assumed they were at least in their 30s, though it didn’t seem out of the question to say they were older or maybe even a little younger.

That is until I found the leaked character sheets of them. Apparently a year (or two?) ago someone leaked a lot of the character sheets/voice sheets for most of Hazbin Hotel’s cast. Obviously leaking is bad, don’t do it. I also don’t know if everything on those sheets is still canon, so I’m only going to talk about the ages. Also massive thank you to my friend for talking about this with me and helping me come up with stuff :)

(Theories, Headcanons, and Spoilers for the fic below the cut)

According to Alastor’s character sheet, he’s roughly in his 40s, and I’m going to say he was born in 1891. Assuming sinners don’t physically age at all after going to hell (because I’m 90% sure they don’t), that’d make him 42 at his death in 1933. Vox on the other hand, I’m saying was born in 1902, and died in 1955, making him 53 when he died. With these dates Vox and Alastor were only 11 years apart.

In my headcanons Alastor landed his job as a radio host in his mid 20s (1913), and built his way up to being the most popular radio host in New Orleans. By 1918 (27 years old) he had his own full show, which ran for 15 years until his death—and was wildly popular.

My headcanon for Vox on the other hand, is that he started as an actor. He always loved attention, and soon by his early 20s (1924) became a big hit on the silver screen. Very quickly he climbed to the top, becoming beloved by Hollywood and starring in many more movies over his lifespan.

I don’t think Alastor had such a massive disdain for television or visual media yet, though I’m not going to say he loved it. He saw Vox as some attention hound, constantly desperate for more with an insatiable appetite—not unlike himself.

Vox at some point stumbles apon Alastor’s radio show, and instantly loves the guy. He laughs at every joke, loves the creativity of the sound effects, and such. After some tugging of strings he meets Alastor in person and offers to interview him on one of his late night shows. Alastor reluctantly accepts, though the two can’t help but be put off—and even annoyed at times by each others’ presence.

The interview, to say the least, does not go very well. Alastor found it a bit humiliating, Vox being too caught up in the spotlight and not all that willing to share it with Alastor. After that, Al decided that “this face was made for radio” and radio only.

They potentially saw each other in passing, but beyond that their interactions were limited.

Eventually Al dies, and is outed as a serial killer. Vox becomes ever more popular with televisions becoming a household item of the 50s until he dies.

Yippie :)

I’m not 100% sure how much of this is canon compliant, but whatever it’s my fanfic I’ll do what I want with it. Also don’t worry I didn’t spoil the entire thing, just aspects of their human lives. Most of the fic will probably be in Hell. (When/if I post the fic on Ao3 I’ll link it here aswell)

EDIT: I started the fic, it’s a little rough but I’ll polish it up eventually. I also can’t promise I’ll stay 100% true to everything I talked about in this post but it’ll probably be pretty close. Anyways, I hope you enjoy :)

[purrple-bat]

Got to preface that I know literally almost nothing about Honkai Star Rail. I wrote this like 5 months ago and I still know basically nothing about any of the characters. All my knowledge comes from looking at fan arts and mashing them together into a headcanon. This was before I knew Kafka sees Stelle like their child and was fueled by KafStel arts and the possibility of gay angst that Kafka never stays; leading to Stelle always waking up in an empty bed yet still following Kafka and doing whatever she ask of them even if it's hurting them.

I very much do not know the in-game world plot; so it doesn't matter to me.

The Stellaron Hunters is a group of tight knit treasure hunters / thieves.

The Star Rail is a group of traveling benefactors that doesn't work for any governments or groups.

Stelle grew up in the streets, a raccoon trying to do everything to survive. This led them to a lot of crimes and honing their abilities in stealth and good researches to hit bigger and bigger targets almost daily. And that's without talking about their strength; never being afraid to get their hands dirty with blood. Especially with little death fazed them.

Is the Trailblazer an artificial being still? Maybe, maybe not. They definitely have an hard time with emotions but it could as well be due to the way they were raised in the streets. Like I said, they definitely have a hard time understanding or feeling certain emotions; aren't they supposed to feel something when they see the life flicker out of someone's eyes?

Kafka isn't that much older than Stelle and once she set her eyes on the chaotic raccoon, she knew she wanted them by her side. And so they did, no matter what, Stelle is still just a puppy who doesn't know what is right and what is wrong; give them headpats and food and they'll follow you. It takes some time for them to get accustomed to others or for others to get used to them still caring about them even if they don't show it physically. Tho one of the way they do show it is how loyal they are to Kafka, having so much blood on their hands so that she doesn't have to.

It didn't take long for the pair to be approached by like-minded individuals with strong abilities and form what we know as the Stellaron Hunters.

Stelle, the Infiltrator. You'ld be surprised how good at climbing and hiding a raccoon can be. They often are the one to sneak in, gather location informations and get things out quickly. Had their life lead them another way, they could had been an assassin.

Kafka, the Interrogator. Seduction and manipulation is the game. Pull in the right strings and you can make anybody talk, perfect to learn about new leads.

[again, I know basically nothing about the characters, even less the next 3]

Blade, the Weapon. Stelle has all rights to be strong, but Blade is an expert. When things gets dirty, you couldn't be in better hands. Especially when you need a loud distraction.

Silver Wolf, the Hacker. Security will always be an issue in this modern age and someone who lives like the world is a simple game to crack would have fun ever battling security measures.

Firefly, N/A (no jokes, I don't know what would be her motive to join in team when there is no big lore stuff like the Swarm; which, if she was still a creation, would mean she'ld have no reasons to be created)

It all turned to shit when after one bad mission; Stelle being left beaten up and in a critical state. Things didn't turn out right at all and the Hunters can't get their location. The 'cops' are after each of them and they are in no positions to search for their raccoon. Their only have to hope that either they were caught by the pigs which would make sure they would live. Or that they found friendly hands who could keep them hidden and help them survive the night.

Which is what ends up happening.

Himmeko, and the Star Rail Express were on their route when they found a beaten up raccoon passed out on the trail, with no ways to even get to a city without bleeding out first. So they took them in; doing their best to heal the trailblazer. This wouldn't be the first time they found a person in need who would wake up with near zero memories.

Stelle has to learn who they are. They have flashes of memories but it all doesn't make sense. All the while, they help out the Express and travel around to help others in need. They have feelings inner to them that they do not understand. Like their trash digging is ingrained into them as an opportunistic need for survival and search for anything shiny and pretty. Not remembering a lot of the things they went through in life does make them a bit less guarded and curious compared to how cold they were before. But that doesn't change how brutal they can be in combat. Heck, if the Express members didn't know them enough, they would think they were a complete psychopath who showed no expressions as they killed. Definitely took some getting used to and also some lots of talk to be able to reel in Stelle from not always going for the kill. Also part of the weapon choices. Because it's clear Stelle prefers the bat (idk how it works in game but I like to think the glowing part is concentrated magic into a solid form and it can be dismissed so she has only the grip to hide) but at the same time, she wields her bat like a sword. Who knows how even more deadly would she be with an appropriate weapon.

The Stellarons are trying to find them again. After all, they have become a sister to them all and someone Kafka could always have at their side close to her.

So she takes it very rough when she sees them again as the trailblazer, no longer remembering their group at all. Stelle is still curious. They can fill it in their heart the connection they have for this familiar stranger. They don't understand it, but they are longing for them. They want to know who Kafka was to them.

That's all prelude to my first original angst idea. With Kafka staying close to Stelle yet having an hard time to think of them as the same Stelle they were close in the past. All the while, Stelle gets their hands dirty, doing things that feels out of their new moral codes just to please Kafka and get any informations of their past. It hurts Stelle so much, waking up in the morning in an empty bed. Yet, their heart still feel like following her. No matter how much it hurts, they would do anything for Kafka, even if they don't fully remember why no matter how deep the pool of blood is getting at their feet.

[monsterhunting]

I like your fanfic and we share some of the same ships. Do you have any book recs? My tbr list is long but I don't mind adding more books

firstly: thank you so much!!! secondly i have TONS of book recs. honestly i could’ve kept going but i was getting a little crazy so lemme stop here. thank you for asking!!!

fiction:

the lincoln highway by amor towles: bildungsroman, beautiful story, satisfying ending, long but worth it

ask again yes by mary beth keane: family drama, turning point halfway thru that made me gasp and screech

such a fun age by kiley reid: a Black babysitter gets stopped by a grocery store security guard and a video of it goes viral and a bunch of other stuff also happens. lots of really good discussions on racism. her other book that just came out this year was really good too!!!

fantasy/sci-fi:

the last binding trilogy by freya marske: finally read these a few months ago and i loved them so much 😭 great romance great characters exciting plot with high stakes FOUND FAMILY!!

silver under nightfall by rin chupeco (and the sequel court of wanderers)… vampire couple x vampire hunter throuple of my dreams what more can you want

ocean’s echo / winter’s orbit by everina maxwell: queer scifi romance!!!! stand-alones set in the same universe but both are great

station eleven by emily st. john mandel: this is a pretty well known book but it was GOOD! takes place in a post-apocalyptic world and centers on the importance of living as opposed to just surviving and also the beauty of creating and sharing art ❤️

romance:

cat sebastian writes really good queer historical romance, I’ve read like 6 of her books this year. we could be so good and the ruin of a rake are my favorites so far

lex croucher!!! she has three historical novels, one is a sapphic romance (I’ve only read two) and then she has a YA called Gwen & art are not in love that’s a queer Arthurian legend retelling

love hate & clickbait by liz bowery: m/m fake dating where the two MCs are politicians who kinda suck and are trapped in a PR stunt. a better red white & royal blue. i’ve read it like 3 times

sarah hogle is my oomf but also writes great romance. you deserve each other and just like magic specifically

the charm offensive by alison cochrun: the new bachelor falls for the producer of the reality show instead of his contestants. probably my favorite romance ever. also great asexual rep!!

horror:

the lost village by camilla sten: a group of people filming a documentary go to an abandoned village where everyone in the town just up and disappeared one day and were never seen again and weird stuff starts happening. i read this in like 2 days. also i based the town in the stoncy ghost files au off of this lmao

the whisper man and the shadows by alex north: crazy as fuck plot twists that made me close the book and run around my house. he has a third book too but unfortunately I didn’t like it very much

night film by marisha pessl: reporter obsessed with elusive director who’s daughter just mysteriously died investigates director and his family. very good mixed media element and very immersive

mister magic by kiersten white: child actors from children’s tv show mister magic — a tv show that ended suddenly and tragically, with no surviving video footage or evidence of the creative team behind the show whatsoever — gather together for a reunion as adults. kinda like if IT by stephen king was combined with a weird creeypasta and throw in some religious trauma also. sooooo good

graphic novels:

check please! by ngozi ukazu: duh

bubble by jordan morris: guardians of the galaxy esque but also a criticism of capitalism. very fun

hooky by miriam bonastre tur: i DEVOURED these last october. perfect cozy fall vibes. just a cute fun story. they’re technically for children but idc 😭 so many characters and i loved them all, i can’t wait to reread again in the fall

[booktomoviebrawl]

We are not judging how bad the movie is, we are judging which adapted the book the worst. There are good movies that are bad adaptions.

Propaganda below the cut (spoilers may apply)

The Seeker: The Dark is Rising:

Painfully generic-dumbed-down-fantasy-action trying to channel better film franchises instead of the atmospheric, mythopoetic and lyrical children’s book it is technically based on. Bonus points for the open contempt people involved had for the source material, both in how they treated it and what they said about it.

BAD. Bad bad bad!! They completely changed Will's character. In the books he does get frustrated sometimes, but is mostly kind and patient and really makes you believe that he is both an ancient being and an 11 year old boy and in the movie they changed it so he's like really mad and angsty and just the total opposite of his actual character!! Absolute butchery. And they cut the Wild Hunt! And changed a bunch of other plot stuff and it overall just sucked.

where do I even begin. they made the main character American for no reason (this is perhaps the most egregious change), aged him up to 14, and added a straight romance subplot. they were so indecisive during production that they CUT AN ENTIRE MAIN CHARACTER in the time between the trailer and the actual film release. they completely fucked up all of Will’s family stuff. in pursuit of “relatability” they got rid of everything that makes the book good and put in THE most generic, poorly written, poorly acted (except Christopher Eccleston, who did okay), and poorly produced garbage. it was in theaters for like…less than a week; we were supposed to see it for my birthday but it was already gone. it doesn’t even have, like, half-decent special effects. it is an insult.

Seventh Son (originally The Spook's Apprentice):

The book is a dark fantasy book for children, with fantastical elements that ring true to folklore but still have their own distinct flair, really well written horror centered on the fact that the protagonist is still just a boy, and a very strong theme that the spook opposes the forces of darkness and evil with knowledge and wits rather than heroics. The series as a whole has a lot of digs at established powers, both the Church or the nobles. It also has a mentor that is showed as imperfect from the get-go because of sexist tropes, and a protagonist who criticizes it even at the beginning when he's just a boy. The movie makes the protagonist an adult, turns the spook from an old wise man who practices using a stick (peasant weapon!) to fight and throwing silver chains to immobilize supernatural creatures, into the SURVIVOR of an ORDER OF KNIGHTS, and generally removes all the slow creeping horror to turn it into generic shitty fantasy movie #493, with bad acting on top. And it bombed so bad it probably RUINED the Spook's series chances to ever get a good adaptation, damnit!

Mentor gets changed from being part of a long line of people with a cool fantasy job to a discount Templar, cool methods of handling monsters got reduced to just killing them, awesome assassin grandma changed to Default Movie Witch, and more! It's pretty much not the story anymore.

It takes pretty much nothing that I liked from the books with the initial premise and some names being pretty much the only things kept intact.

The plot and world were completely changed. Most of the changes make for a much more generic and, in my opinion, worse story. Spooks in the books are seventh sons of seventh sons who are trained to fight creatures of the dark because seventh sons of seventh sons are able to sense the supernatural. They are hired for jobs by ordinary people, usually exorcising ghosts or capturing creatures like boggarts and witches. In the movie, the Spooks are also seventh sons of seventh sons, but for some reason, they are an order of knights. In the books lot of people think Spooks are charlatans until they come face to face with a ghost or creature of the dark because the world is usually pretty ordinary and peaceful. The setting is inspired by Lancashire and the world feels pretty unique. The setting in the movie is Generic CGI Fantasy Land where everyone has American accents and big CGI monsters are everywhere.

The protagonist Tom and Alice, his friend and later love interest, were aged up like in the Percy Jackson movies. In the books, Tom starts out as a 12-year-old and grows up as the series continues. He starts out very uncertain and wants to stay on his family farm. He only becomes a Spook because he knows he has to get a job to ease the financial burden on his family. He grows into his role as a Spook's apprentice over time. Alice is a pretty interesting character in the books, she is naturally very talented as a witch but struggles with the darker side of her powers over the course of the series. In the movie, they became incredibly generic Hero and Love Interest characters with pretty much no personality and instantly fall in love.

Mother Malkin was a first-book villain, who was mostly only such a threat because Tom was an extremely inexperienced 12-year-old at this point who accidentally released her and didn't realise how dangerous she was. She was monstrous and decrepit and fed on blood. In the movie she is turned into a beautiful seductress and a world-ending threat who can turn into a dragon. They also made her the Spook's lover for some reason.

Tom's mother is a really cool character in the books who pushes him to become a Spook despite him being reluctant and plays a larger role in the later books. In the movie, Tom is the one who wants to be a Spook and his mother doesn't want him to.

I think the character who got it worst was the Spook himself, John Gregory. In the books, he is a former priest at the end of his career as a Spook, he is incredibly uptight and disciplined to an extent that other Spooks find over the top. For example, he has a rule of fasting before a battle that he makes his apprentices follow and he only kills as a last resort. He's tough but usually pretty fair to Tom and explains things to him so he doesn't get hurt. In the movie he is pretty much the complete opposite, he's a drunkard who spends the whole movie making getting angry and fighting and doesn't seem very interested in teaching Tom how to be a Spook. Also, the accent that Jeff Bridges uses is terrible.

I'm not sure the movie would be enjoyable if you hadn't read the books, having read them I hated it, but I feel like it would be mediocre at best even without the comparison. The acting is pretty bad despite the big-name cast. I think you could maybe enjoy it in a so bad it's good kind of way. The books were spooky and pretty charming from what I remember and I think if they had been adapted more accurately, preferably as a TV show, it could have been pretty good. Sorry this is such an essay, I've never hated an adaptation more. It's been a long time since I've both read the books and seen the movie, so if anyone wants to correct anything feel free.

[vaultsixtynine]

magda's fighting style (if we wanna call it that at this age) when she was younger was OVERLY reliant on magic and distractions and little crafted things, all flash and pomp bc it was exciting and her life was almost never genuinely threatened. her mother had some magical talent so it was assumed she was similar, and the reality of her pact honestly didn't really hit her until The Actual Main Plot of nwn2. it wasn't something she ever had to think about. magic was always available to her, and easier and stronger than picking up a sword.

by the time of the main campaign she's picked up more roguish tendencies - getting into places she shouldn't be, 'borrowing' things that aren't hers if she likes them, hiding from stuff she doesn't wanna do, still leaning hard into her pre-artificers-being-real artificer streak (making weird statues in the forest out of old furniture that scare random townsfolk half to death, etc). people in town tolerated her, but only just - when she left to apprentice in highcliff, it was a bit of a relief for everyone.

she taught herself how to throw daggers when she was younger and bored and daggers remain a favored weapon into adulthood - it annoyed daeghun (and any interaction w him was positive for her, even when it's annoyedly telling her for the 500th time she needs to learn how to pick up a bow and hunt) and was flashy enough to make her has-something-to-prove streak happy. the best part is that she can throw spells and daggers at the same time, body and mind moving in concert.

so when she gets the full silver sword situation, it rarely is An Entire Sword. instead, she uses the shards of it (compliant to her will and whims and her newfound skill in telekinetics) as individual thrown daggers that can still act in concert if needed - it's honestly pretty dope and she knows it; better yet, it's very effective. she's used to having her life grievously threatened by now, and between the sword and her spells she feels safe in her own power.

then motb hits like a ton of bricks and she has no magic - has to restart with cantrips, excavate latent ability from 2 decades of a patron shaping and overshadowing her, and it's Agonizing - and suddenly no magical shard sword. just. two daggers in her hands and more tucked away in sheaths all over her person, just like the bad old days. it'll have to do.

[priwenshallprevail]

GETTING TO KNOW YOU.

respond to the following prompts out of character. then, tag others that you'd like to get to know a little bit better!

( Picture optional )

ROLEPLAYER NAME: Mjodvitnir , or Wraith to some.

ROLEPLAYER PRONOUNS: He/Him/They/Monster

MUSE NAME: Geoffrey Aodhán McCullum

PREFERRED COMMUNICATION: Tumblr messages, or even Discord if you'd prefer. If you want my discord, just ask. Whatever is easier for my partners.

EXPERIENCE: At the very least 20 years of experience in role playing. Back in the chatrooms of american online, or myspace. Am I showing my age yet ? I know, it's such cringe. I want to say my first three characters I ever role played was Rufus Shinra from Final Fantasy VII and two oc characters, one VtM relative , the other Werewolf. I'm wanting to say my character had been Tremere clan. Can't remember my generation I had him under, though. My werewolf was from the tribe Silver Fangs. An Ahroun if I can remember correctly.

PREFERRED ROLEPLAY TYPE: Well... absolutely everything! Dark, torturous gritty, gore-infested, action, combat, drama, comedy, angst, fast paced, slow paced, smut, fluff, one shots. I enjoy them all ! Hit me with all the above !

PET PEEVES & DEALBREAKERS: I don't have many, but the few I do hold -- are more toward general respect for your partners. Don't be a dick.

God moding/meta-ing the RP. Don't use any info your character wouldn't have the slightest clue on. Unless it was discussed on how they may have acquired it prior , or planned through other threads. What remains in a thought collective, stays in the mind. Unless your muse holds telepathy in some aspect. Then it's a different story.

Judgement of writing style. My writing is far from perfect, and I often have one hell of a time judging myself. I don't need others on top of that, adding to my horrendous insecurities. I like detailing things, from the environment, to facial expressions, or even course of actions. I sometimes hyper focus on one thing and become brief with another. I don't understand it myself, nor always catch myself doing it. I hold horrible habit of having issue with repeating a certain word when writing my own posts, and I do sometimes get carried away over different synonyms to these said words. To the point that not every definition becomes so literal. How, or when I developed this habit, I do not know. It's a tick that only happens on my own writing, never on any of my partners. I judge myself too harshly in everything, not just writing. However, if I flood you with a lot of paragraphs -- that usually just means you struck my muse in a massive way and I wish to shower you with love. That I want to engage with you at what my brain considers my best. No body ever has to match whatever length I spew out. Please remember that. Also note, that even if my muse is struck so highly for your muse. My brain can still muck it up. It's a fickle beast. But that is adhd in a nutshell.

Judgement over ships/shipping. ... This one, the more I think on it, is a big one. I have been judged on ships in the past. On several accounts, actually.. some more recent. That it has gotten me reluctant to approach anyone to ask " hey lets try to smoosh these two together ! ?" Judging someone's ship is a disgusting form of shaming someone because they didn't conform to your ideals of said characters. Judgement with narcissistic attempts to push stuff a certain way -- yeah, no. Don't do it. Also, don't try to force ships . I support McReid, but if a Reid does not ? You back the fuck off the suggestion. It's really that simple. Respect. Your. Partners. Not everything revolves around romance anyways. Plenty of other relationships they can aim for. Friendships are a beautiful thing too. I mean -- platonic is also a thing as well, you know. It can bloom just as heavenly.

Constructive feedback though is more than welcome.

PLOTS OR MEMES: Yes ! I enjoy everything you're willing to throw at me, and will happily plan entire story lines to multiple connectives we can later link if that's what you'd like.

LONG REPLIES OR SHORT REPLIES: The in-betweeners. I love doing long replies when muse hits like a freight train, but if my muse isn't as strong -- or if my brain struggles to focus. Which it does, trust me. It'll be between that short and long range, or sometimes drop short all together. I don't ever expect you to match length if you don't wish to. That is not a requirement with me. As long as you can provide me with a paragraph to work with , I'm more than game.

BEST TIME TO WRITE: This is .. .. a tricky one for me. Cause my adhd makes it hard for me to write when everyone else is up in this household. So it would be somewhere between late night and early morn, for me. Eastern time.

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSES: I'm honestly not sure if it's the we have similarities, or if my constant processing of what can be done to improve role play, suddenly bleeds into my own characteristics on a daily basis. Taking a bit of my characters with me every time. I'm a little withdrawn, keep a lot of my emotions on the inside, sometimes quick to become surly with forced authority types, described grumpy often , can be witty with the usual sarcastic bites -- if that accounts to anything.

Tagged by : I stolez it, but I don't remember from who. o.o;

Tagging : @fangsforhire , @coivi , @arcanescholxr , @anedendarkly , @undeadunalive , @astridnorddottir , @luposcainus

[littleeyesofpallas]

I kind of want to design a giant obnoxious faux-retro RPG sorta thing where the story itself is pretty straight forward between familiar genre cliches and coming of age story/hero's journey stuff, but to facilitate the actual themes about growing up the obnoxious length is actually there to facilitate your hero aging throughout the plot and not just facing a linear escalation of challenges.

Like I want the actual process of learning new things, adapting, and growing to be a challenge. it would have to utilize a kind of under the hood rouge-like aspect where there would be a lot of modular game aspects that would randomize themselves for every player and every save occasionally introducing new aspects at fixed intervals but ones covertly out of synch with their relevance. So like you'd get a new magic type or something but the game would be flagged to generate said random new aspect hours before it ever became relevant so save scumming it would just be a massive pain in the ass,. mix and match basic mechanical RPG aspects to create unique skill trees, but also have them grow and drop off or dead end at different rates. So maybe your teen hero specs into holy magic, but then at age 30 monsters just stop having holy magic weaknesses entirely. or a certain sword skill has like 6 levels of complexity but the last 3 actually don't increase damage output at all, but you can't tell form the flavor text. Bait and then punish forming unconscious habits in gameplay and strategy. if any one skill turns out to be more than 50% of your used commands in battle the subsequent skills in the related family get nerfed. You mechanically have to branch out and learn new things, because relying on any one singular skill set expecting it to stay broken and exploitable will actually actively trigger the game to make it suboptimal. Have some useless skill tree at early levels plateau super early but then become super useful or relevant when your character hits like 50yo. But again breakdown and build these skills into tiny modular aspects and build them around archetypes so that they don't actually all function the same across different files. Have whole stats that potentially go unused for long stretches of the game with no clear indication if they'll ever become relevant again. have a tutorial system that keeps coming back suspiciously late into the core of the game, but then vanishes and becomes just a little innocuous flag in the back of your menu that is there to teach you new mechanics but only if you actually go looking for the help --because you're an adult now and you'r expected to know what your doing or otherwise help yourself, and you don't just get things handed to you on a silver platter like when you were adventuring school. And make the whole damn thing ironman mode. Have a lot of opportunities to avoid immediate character death obviously, but also when you do die for real for real the whole thing is just over.

Teach the players that memorizing singular correct solutions, falling into first order optimal strategy traps, and relying on guides and the community before you to give you all the answers was never going to be a valid strategy. That and just really torture people who write game FAQs and walkthroughs. Make a game where the difficulty curve isn't ""skill"" based but circumstantial and contextual. Where learning to learn is the actual hurdle and not just the mindless repetition of a few scant patterns.

And like, i know this sounds like an absolutely abysmal game to actually play. it would be. and that would be the point. Youd be forced to play suboptimally the whole way through, by design. you'd always be wasting some amount of time or resources. and you'd never get the chance to go back and do it optimally. Like in life you don't get a real do over. There is no reincarnation meta narrative. no multiverse where things are just a "little" different. all your experiences are unique to a point of existential solitary confinement. Your unique procedurally generated cocktail of experiences and struggles would be ultimately unknowable. It would be un fucking speed runnable. Just a tesseract of stats and mechanics moving goalposts in 4 dimensions.

its a good thing i only barely dabbled in programming and software design in college, because i feel like i would be an insufferable game dev. like the best case scenario would be me just never finishing a project and fading into obscurity. and the worst case would be actually putting games out and them getting attention and me just blasting the internet at large with obnoxious artist theses about a game no one enjoys playing

[the-final-knight]

Knight Log, volume 2:

It has been a few days since I last wrote in this book, I have been very busy.

There is a plot to assassinate me, Drewp, and The Queen and I am trying to stop them. I think that ive come up with a unique and cunning plan though that may give me the advantage. I shant disclose it here as I fear I am being watched.

The assassin is very clever but some sort of moral code has kept them from killing me thus far. They left me quite wounded from our last battle but I did the same to them. Hopefully it shall be a little bit until our next battle.

The Queen has asked me to accompany her and Drewp to the capital city of Yevrin, which I find very exciting. We are, however, riding in a Zeppelin which I find a little daunting. It's been ages since I've been up that high and I am admittedly slightly afraid of doing again. The Queen has assured me it's safe though and I trust her.

On the subject of The Queen I must say I am quite fond of her. She is definitely the nicest ruler I have served under and she tolerates my slip ups. She's been incredibly kind to me and even went searching in the forest for me after a nasty battle with that assassin. My leg still hurts from that, and I have a limp from it, but luckily no one has caught onto that. A knight must be strong through their pain in order to succeed, that is the lesson I have always known to be true.

I have sparring with people and am beginning to learn ways of how to counter magic uses, these are the most important things I've learned thus far:

Never let them have use of their hands or mouth

Resist mind control

Analyze their movements to prepare for any spell they may cast

Thankfully I have yet to face a magic user who actually has intent to harm me, that's lucky, but luck always runs out.

And now for what is by far the most interesting thing to happen in my life.

Someone is... Trying to romance me. I know, it sounds just as crazy to me as it must to you, imaginary reader. They have been keeping their identity a secret so far but have given me the name Augustus to call them by. Now, this is between you, the book, and me, but this is truly the scariest thing to ever happen to me. Never has someone called me the things they call me. Never has anyone gone out of their way and given me something such as what they have.

They gifted me a golden Zweihander. Can you believe that? Neither can I. I don't even know what to say to such a lavish gift. Thankyou is certainly not enough I know that, but I also have hardly anything myself. Before I came to this island I had only the clothes on my back and a few silver pieces. Now everything has changed for me and people actually seem to care about me.

Needless to say it's overwhelming. But also intoxicating. The Queen said that their pattern of gift giving and masquerading follows that of an old Yervin play. And on the fourth day they will reveal themself. If that's the case I don't have much time to think of something to do for them in return. I don't have much to offer someone like that I think, I have no money or promise. I hope they'll forgive me for that, if not I suppose I can give them their sword back.

Alright I think that's a nice wrap up of the past few days, I'm obviously leaving stuff out because of how much has happened but yeah. Have a good day book, farewell.

Ps: I hope the Augustus will forgive me for threatening to slice their throat.

[shrimpalbuspotter]

I absolutely adore the first one, and my head took it on and added stuff, so now I'm going to say them here in this reblog (because I can)

Plot twist is that they still all go to the same school together, muggle au, but none of them know who any of their online friends are in real life. Everyone plays the game but they also all hide it because the general consensus is that its cringy and weird (it is not. I have, however, met people who think it is).

As a result, the meetup is insane. Sirius realises the person he was edating was actually that one friend who he only really knew through James and who he thought was kind of a Nerd but in a funny way that made Sirius enjoy him being around. Remus realises his Real Crush was also the guy he was E Dating as a joke (sirius didn't think it was a joke) and panics.

James is just scared. He's SCARED. Because he spent AGES crafting his persona of the popular footie player who was friends with everyone (except from the dorks, like Snivellus and the other pretentious prats in Slytherin) and who all the teachers liked, and now his little secret was out. He was the leader of their damn clan. He was the highest leveled member of the clan, he was an Elvin Warrior, he had a carefully crafted character page linked to his profile with detailed backstory and lore.

Lily is peeved at the fact she's stuck in the middle of this. She only downloaded the game after Sev had shyly asked her to join through his link so he got silver, and when she met his "guild" members (or "Clan", as SirProngs called it, she fondly remembered arguments she'd watched Sev have with him over what the label for their alliance was. She'd never seen him type so quick before.) it turned out the most annoying one was also the most annoyingly persistent boy she'd ever met in real life. Did James just haunt her?

Peter was aware everyone played, and who everyone was. For godssake, their usernames are the nicknames they gave eachother in Primary, but which wore off when they entered Secondary and they began getting a few poking teases over it. It was so obvious. What was worse, though, is that he had technically left their guild ("it's clan, Wormy, gods, Princey is a truly horrid influence") a month prior, because another one had offered him alot of Gold if he'd join their Guild("Do you want me to shoot you?") as Distraction when they went on quests, and despite staying friends with everyone, they still called him traitor instead of his username.

Severus had a mini panic attack when he walked up to the spot him and Lily were told to go to to meet their online friends. He was quite excited, actually. His only real friend was Lily, the boys in his House only ever really hung out with him so that he did their homework, or their essays. But by god, seeing that their little rebel alliance (He had a sudden memory of sitting muted in a discord call on their Guild Server as LordPadFoot streamed a Starwars Marathon, and who briefly unmuted himself to say, with a voice changer he was mocked ruthlessly for everytime, "we're a bit like the Rebel Alliance, aren't we?" ) consisted of the 4 people he despised more than anyone in their school, made him almost sob. To be fair though, everybody seemed quite shocked to see eachother, so he doubted this was some planned attack against him.

Everyone is shocked, confused, kind of angry, upset, and a little happy. They still all go through with the plans they made a day prior, reaching an unspoken consensus that they'd just act like they would online, even referring to eachother as their usernames (A strangely warm feeling built up in each Marauders chest at the old nicknames. Sev felt pretty special being called Prince. Lily was going to throttle the next person who called her Princess.)

In my head I kinda skimmed past the whole hating eachother fine with Sev and the Marauders because for this I'd imagine it as more of a "we hate eachother because of something that happened in the last year of Primary and the animosity simply never left" situation. Also I mostly thought of it as fluffy and wholesome and funny.

Thank you for planting this worm in my brain I appreciate it so much

i have so many fic ideas bouncing around in my head and so little brain power. soooo what should i try to write about next?? - MMO AU! Everyone plays together and have been online friends for ages. They all decide to meet up IRL and shenanigans ensue, maybe? Prolly Wolfstar-centric for this one. Sev is there but for some reason my brain made him a little bit of a comedic presence here lol. - Stranded on an island AU where everyone has to work together to survive! Mostly I just want to write about everyone having to learn to live off the land, wilderness survival stories are always fun. Multiple pairings but it's less of a shippy story in my head tbh. - Severitus story where Sev/Rem/Siri is the endgame, but it's also a no-magic AU where Sirius was actually in prison for some blue collar crime that had to do with his family lol. Sev somehow ended up taking harry when he was like 10 and now he's an angsty teen. Sirius got out of prison and wants to be in his godsons life. Remus is a concerned teacher who ends up taking a personal interest in Harrys mental health. Help!?

[arthenaa]

carnal — sebastian sallow x fem!reader x ominis gaunt

plot summary: Challenging two renowned Aurors responsible for almost half of the imprisonment of numerous dark wizards leads to you experiencing being hunted for your life during a celebratory party at the ministry.

warnings: 18+, explicit sexual content, dark themes, slight plot with porn, aged up characters (silver trio are in their mid 20's), sebastian and ominis are aurors, random ocs mentioned (i just shit out names tbh), random hp shit as well not sure some of them exist in the canon lore, reader is a magizoologist in a partnership w the ministry, they hunt u down (its all roleplay), dominis, switch seb, bottom reader, she/her prns is used for reader, ominis, you and seb like pulling each others hair lmfao, oral sex, p in v sex, choking, all the nasty stuff.

notes: inspired by @/pseudonymmcwriter i love prns fics pls you should check them out if ur into detroit become human <3 minors are highly discouraged from reading. read at your own risk. pt 2 of carnal.

It was supposed to be a joke.

A jest at their occupation. You didn't mean to talk shit about their jobs as Aurors. You were merely joking around, influenced by the festivities around you. Although, you suppose you shouldn't have tried to joke around Slytherins at all. It was a celebratory party for the new head Auror, Ryona Bassett, who was praised for her leadership skills and achievements in finally capturing a dark wizard creating havoc in the wizarding world. It was due to this that she had gotten her promotion, a well-earned position on her part.

Of course, she couldn't have done it herself. As part of her plan to capture said wizard, she had formed a group of talented wizards and witches to aid her. Part of that group was you. The wise witch had apparated in front of your apartment in London, sitting on the bench like the menace that she is in hopes of recruiting you as part of her team (You had almost jumped out of your skin at the creepy sight).

It was because of your skills and experience in the field of magical creatures that led you to be recruited by Ryona Bassett. Dragons were said to be one of the weapons used in the dark wizard's plan, and well, who'd be perfect for the job other than you? As a magizoologist, your job enabled you to mostly work alone as it required intensive travel all over the world. Although you worked for the Care of the Magical Creatures department, you were more of a partner rather than an employee of the ministry. You saved Hogwarts during your 5th year, rescued the fate of the wizarding world after a dark wizard had tried yet again to sabotage the election of a new leader, and also nurtured and rescued beasts in your care.

Basically, you were a big shot, and y'know that big shots like you always get called for the important stuff, which is why you're where you are today.

Part of the said group was also none other than your two dearest friends; Sebastian Sallow and Ominis Gaunt, Aurors at the British Ministry of Magic. Sebastian and Ominis were the two people who Ryona had at her beck and call given that they did work in her division. However, these weren't the only reasons why she had chosen the two. They both had risen the ranks at a much faster rate than others ever since they joined the Auror office. This wasn't to your surprise considering the two often sneaked out in the safety of the Undercroft to practice spells out of Hogwarts' jurisdiction. Sebastian Sallow was known for his magical prowess in dueling and knowledge of the dark arts whilst Ominis Gaunt excelled more in tracking and hunting through magical traces. Despite his blindness, he had formed a unique connection to his wand, allowing him to sense and feel magic more sensitively than others. The two are quite formidable Aurors and built up a reputation as one.

They were also known to be the pair who almost filled half of Azkaban. They were that good.

It didn't help that they were also attractive. They were deemed to be the ministry's most desired bachelors of this era. You couldn't agree more.

It had been a while since the three of you were together in the same room. You kept your friendship low maintenance and would send an owl to each other here and there. To be honest, the low-maintenance friendship was more of you and them, but we don't need the specifics. After a long month of trying to catch Hugo Blaire (the dark wizard, yes), it wasn't a huge surprise that a party would be done in honor of the group's efforts and contribution to making another safe and sound day for the wizarding world.

You don't know how many glasses of champagne you had downed in the past hour, but you sure as hell won't be counting. You've been scanning the crowd, looking for a particular brunette and blonde amongst a sea of unfamiliar people.

It was tiring trying to keep up with the greetings and the conversations. You probably mispronounced multiple last names at this point, and you couldn't care any less at how many eye twitches and failed to keep horrified expressions you've seen in the past hour. Your assistant, Judy Beckham, decided to be your spokesperson at the start as she noticed that the glass on your hand seemed to have no plans leaving your grasp. It was funny seeing her play as your publicist as you had yet again purposefully mispronounced "Yaxley" to "Yackley? Yatley? Yale? Shitley?" (It was well deserved, to be honest. He was on your shitlist after he had tried to order your imprisonment when you were trying to rescue a Zouwu who had wreaked havoc in the streets of London. He claimed you were the one responsible for the mess... Which was partially true... But not all of it!)

"And that should be your final drink." A voice interrupted your thoughts before a hand grabbed the refillable glass in your hand, moving it away from your grasp. The scent of musk and wood immediately infiltrated your senses as your back feels the presence of another. You turn to face the culprit, smiling at him.

"Sebastian." You softly reply as you place a hand on his arm. "I was looking for you."

"As have I, darling." He chuckles before glancing at the glass in his hand, watching as it filled back up with champagne. "Though it seems you've already started to enjoy yourself."

"Refillable charms are a crime." You softly laugh in response. The Auror has a soft look on his face. You glance back at the center of the ball where Ryona stood alongside the rest of the crew, entertaining guests. "Aren't you supposed to be there?"

"You mean we?" He corrects as he places a hand on your waist. You feel butterflies in your stomach. You push it away.

"... Right."

"Where's the little redhead you're with?" Sebastian doesn't need to crane his head to survey the room. He was a tall motherfucker who was gifted with the lucky genes. You didn't know how much a person could grow knowing that he was the same height as you in your fifth year, then you were at his shoulder in your 7th. He was tall and attractive. A direct shit to your face.

"You mean Judy?" You raise an eyebrow at him despite mentioning her multiple times in your letters. He smiles a boyish grin at you.

"I saw her a moment ago trying to calm down August Yaxley from transfiguring you then and there. What'd you do this time?" You feel his thumb rubbing the material of your dress on your waist. His stare was unwavering as he encouraged a response out of you.

"Mispronounced his name. It was quite funny seeing the number of expressions running through his face. Quite a life-changing experience, if I do say so myself. As for Judy, she just gave up on me. She's probably drinking herself to death somewhere." You jest. He chuckles at your response before pulling his hand away from your waist. It almost made you whine at the loss, but you remember this is your best friend, and you shouldn't be whining like a submissive bitch in heat at the loss of his touch. "Where's Ominis?"

"Ah." He places the glass on the waiter's tray as one passes by before crossing his arms over his chest. He looks so attractive in his black three-piece suit with a silver chain hanging on his vest. It didn't help with the way the material of his coat stretched along his arms, fitting his physique perfectly. You wanted to drool. "He'll be here in a minute."

"That sounds oddly vague." You rest your weight on one leg as you copy his form. "What's he really doing?"

Sebastian rolls his eyes before raising his arms in defense. "You got me. He's finishing writing up and collecting final intel on another case."

"That quick? Damn." Your eyes widen in amusement.

"Remember that church we went to last week? A couple of days before Blaire's capture? The one in Glasgow." He recalls. You hum, remembering the place. "Turns out, there were other traces of dark magic there different from Blaire's lot. It was an infamous place for dark wizards to gather, and we were lucky enough to be able to hit two birds with one stone. Ominis was able to decipher the similarities of that dark magic to the ones he received from that hacienda back in the Philippines."

"That's amazing." You marvel at Ominis's tracking skills.

"I know. Bassett put us on the case right after this." Sebastian sighs. "Not sure if that's a blessing or a curse."

"Just shows how talented you guys are." You bite your lip as you pat his arm. Sebastian shakes his head.

"You had a hand in this, too." He gives you a pointed look. "If it weren't for our daring escapades, I wouldn't be where I am today."

"Yeah, right. If I recall correctly, you were the mastermind of it all."

"I wouldn't have done it if I didn't witness your magical prowess in ancient magic, Ms. Hero of Hogwarts." He leans in, pinching your cheek as he teases you. You flush in embarrassment at the title, trying to forget after years of hearing it multiple times to the point where all you wanted to do is obliviate the whole damn school. Wasn't it so hard to just say you saved the school? Why'd they have to press in the title 'Hero'? Thankfully, Sebastian's proximity made you forget an incoming war flashback of your time at Hogwarts. You would've died from cringe there and then.

"You two look cozy with each other. If I were from Daily Prophet, I'd already made millions from using this as gossip material." A new presence has arrived, startling you two out of your comfortable conversation. Sebastian sighs dramatically at his entrance.

"Ominis. You're late." Sebastian chastises jokingly as he watches his best friend glare in the direction of his voice. You might've laughed at Sebastian trying to act like a disappointed mother, but you were taking your time checking out the new addition to your little group. Similar to Sebastian, Ominis had also experienced a growth spurt. Nearly at the same height as the brunette beside you, the man embodies the essence of elegance and gallantry. His hair is in his usual slicked-back hairdo and wearing a dark blue three-piece set that matched his cloudy blue eyes. Ominis adjusts the tie on his neck with his free hand before moving close to you two with the guide of his wand.

"Thanks, Sebastian, for the obvious observation." He sarcastically replies before feeling for your hand and pressing a soft kiss on the back of it. "Hello, love."

"You two practicing on your courting game or something?" You joke as you watch Ominis put down your hand gently. Sebastian tucks his hands into the pockets of his slacks as he moves close to stand behind you. "I feel so flattered."

"It's just the bare minimum, dove." Sebastian leans in to whisper against your ear. He laughs softly as you move back, tickled by his breath. Ominis wasn't able to hear what the other Auror said and could only sigh in exasperation at Sebastian's antics.

"I heard you were finishing an intel report on a new case, Ominis." You change the subject as you rest your hand on his arm. Ominis places a hand on top of yours.

"Yes. Did Sebastian mess up again?" He turns to the direction of your voice with an accusing tone. "Don't answer. Of course he did."

"Hey! That's unfair of you to assume." Sebastian pouts.

"Am I wrong?" Ominis raises his eyebrow. Sebastian falls silent. "Thought so."

"Shut up."

"I am quite curious, though, did you ever have an instance that you weren't able to track someone?" You ask out of curiosity as your arm intertwines with Ominis's. You glance between the two as they pause to think. These two were deemed the best in the industry. Surely, the praises were exaggerated, right? You had a hard time tracking poacher locations, and you already had possession of ancient magic. Being the best doesn't entail 100% success.

"Nah." Sebastian answers nonchalantly. Ominis nods in agreement. "Sure, some took more time than others but everything's trackable."

You pause for a moment at their answers. "Really?"

"Yes. Everyone leaves tracks of magic every day. It's quite easy to decipher once you're used to it." Ominis adds, trying to convince you further. You hum, still unconvinced by their claims. Sebastian turns to you, looking at you with an unwavering stare. You tried to look back, but you could only glance away, not able to return it.

There's a moment of silence before the brunette breaks it off.

"You don't believe us, do you?" Sebastian says with his eyes wide and eyebrows raised in amusement. Ominis has an unreadable look on his face. You feel like you've offended them both with the way Sebastian's staring at you and Ominis's tense body.

"Well— I mean, surely not all right?" You sheepishly smile at him. Sebastian scoffs at you.

"I assure you, Y/N. When I track something, I get it done." Ominis turns his body towards you, causing your arm to fall from his. You look between the two as they continue to look at you with unreadable looks. You feel as though you've suddenly been cornered. Like you've done something worthy of their attention as Aurors and not as Sebastian and Ominis. This shouldn't excite you, but it did, and so you stupidly continued your plan on pissing them off.

Slytherins are known for one thing, and that's their drive for ambition and winning in competitive environments. What more to entertain yourself by pissing off not one but two snakes?

"Bullshit." You've resorted to using harsh methods. You could see the way Ominis's eye twitched and Sebastian's sudden change of posture. You were glad you met those boring guests back then, it certainly helped maintain a straight face. "Not even once?"

"Y/N." Sebastian takes a step close. "We're not kidding."

"Sure you are." You let out a giggle as you move a step back, trying to gauge their reactions. Ominis steps close to Sebastian's side as he clenches his jaw. This is fun.

Now, this is where the actual problem starts. You were having way too much fun trying to get a rise out of them that the words spewing out of your mouth were thought half-assed. You were joking but they we're taking it seriously.

"I'd bet my whole fucking body you won't be able to catch me. Even Bassett has a hard time getting me these days. What more of a challenge than a magizoologist to track, hm?" You laughed.

Bad move.

Bad fucking move, because all of a sudden, you could feel the tenacity of their stare. Even Ominis seemed like at that specific moment could see you and stare straight into your soul. You felt your body go rigid with nervousness.

The silence was long and uncomfortable. Both of them stood there, postures domineering and authoritative. You felt scared but at the same time, excited. You decided to make the first move.

"Guys?"

Sebastian licks his lips as he looks at Ominis before leaning close to his ear and whispering. The other Auror blinks slowly as he listens to him before nodding. Sebastian moves forward first.

"What's the bet again?" Sebastian smugly asks. You furrow your eyebrows in confusion.

"I'm afraid I'm not following—"

"You said you'd bet your whole body, right?" He reminds you. Your eyes widen in response.

"I wasn't serious about it." You try to reason with them.

"We weren't joking in the first place. You know we've always liked you. Why not take advantage of a little opportunity, hm?" Sebastian says with a low voice as he raises a hand to tuck a stray hair behind your ear. He looks down at you with eyes that seemed to mock you. You felt slightly ashamed but tried to keep your confidence afloat.

It was common knowledge that the two best friends pined after you. Ever since your 5th year, the two had fallen irrevocably in love with everything about you. You knew. They knew you knew and yet a silent pact was made between the two to never make a move on you as they didn't know how you felt and didn't deem it worthy as the fall of their friendship. You were glad somehow but also saddened because you never really chose between them. You liked them both. But they didn't need to know that. Right?

Well, it seems as if they're testing you right now, and with the amount of alcohol in your system combined with their dark looks trained on you, you wouldn't be surprised if you did admit your attraction to both of your best friends.

"Aw, are you scared?" Sebastian taunts. Ominis only stands behind him, posture calm and collected as he listens to his partner speak for him.

"Shut the fuck up." You reply in a weak voice, feeling intimidated by their aura. Ominis lets out a soft laugh. "I was joking about it in the first place—"

"Ah, ah." Sebastian grasps your chin in his hand, turning your face towards him. "You said it first. We're just finishing the job."

You let out a shaky breath as they continue to move closer and into your space. Sebastian's thumb caresses your bottom lip as he stares at you with want and desire.

"Let's be clear here, darling. The only reason why Bassett can't properly find you is that it's her that's finding you." Sebastian mumbles lowly. You could feel the grip on your chin tightening. Your knees tremble at his domineering hold on your face as your core begins to burn with arousal. "You've never had us."

Shit.

It's Ominis that sets the final nail in the coffin. He leans down to whisper in your ear. "Ryona's going to give a final speech in the next few minutes."

A hand slithers across the small of your back before grabbing your waist, pulling you close to him. You let out a small moan at the harsh movement before the lips against your ear continue to move. "We're going to give you 30 seconds to move. You got that, sweetheart?"

A soft kiss placed on both sides of your neck makes you whimper as both of them pull away from you. You watch as Sebastian casts a final look at you before both of them disappear into the crowd. You stand with knees weak and mind in shambles as you hear the crowd cheer at Ryona's entrance. She waves into the crowd and suddenly you're face with an existential crisis.

We're you suppose to move during? Or after? Did you have to hide? Fuck, did the 30 seconds already start? You couldn't grasp a single thing in your mind as your eyes tried to find the familiar backs of the two. It seemed all the eerier that you didn't know where they were. It was like a predator hiding and waiting for the perfect chance to pounce. So as the submissive prey that you are, you began to move.

You squeezed your way through heaps of people. Ryona's speech was already considered background noise for you. You had reached the east entrance, sighing in relief before a pair of hands stop you from reaching freedom. You could almost feel your heart drop before exhaling a big breath at the sight of your assistant, Judy Beckham.

"Where were you? I was looking everywhere for you!" Judy worries like the inner mother that she is. You could almost coo at her concern over your well-being but the thought of two Aurors after your ass was more pressing than the worried redhead in front of you.

"Listen, Judy. If ever you come across Sebastian and Ominis, tell them I went to the west side of the building." You smile widely as you hold her arms tight within your grasp. Judy raises her eyebrow in confusion.

"Y/N, you're not making sense—"

"Please!" You plead as you pull her closer to your face. The girl cranes her head back at the proximity. "I'm in grave danger if those two ever find me. Be a gal and lie, okay?"

Judy stares at you for a few seconds before sighing. "West. Got it."

"Thank you!" You grab her for a quick hug before bolting through the doors. Your heels clack noisily on the marble floor as you rushed through the partially empty corridors of the ministry. You pass by familiar faces who you kindly shoot a smile at.

"Fucking heels—" You groan as you reach for the devil traps on your feet, pulling them off and continuing your escape barefoot. You manage to reach the hallway to the elevator before a voice causes you to pause and crouch down to hide.

"Y/N." Ominis's tender voice echoes throughout the empty corridor. You hide in a corner as you watch his figure pass by the elevator. Great, the easiest way out was already guarded. You should've thought that ahead. "I know you're here."

You remain silent as you watch Ominis pace back and forth slowly, face looking calm and collected. You assess your surroundings, looking for a way to escape.

"Do you want to know why I know you're here?" Ominis asks which catches your attention. You check behind you to ensure that no Sebastian was sneaking up on you to catch you off guard. You wait for him to reply. "You've always had a particular magical aura. I sensed a glimpse of it when you entered the doors of the Great Hall in our 5th year, then it grew bigger and stronger when I saw you exit the Undercroft. Magical auras tend to vary according to a wizard or witch's personality and most of them feel loud and ... unnerving. You, however, shine like sunlight on a sunny day. A gentle breeze at the start of autumn."

Your breath hitched as you hear his footsteps halt. You feel your cheeks heat up at his declaration, you bite your lip as you wait to hear more. "I felt attached to you because of it. Like a moth to a flame. Do you think spending years by your side that I haven't got your aura ingrained in my head? I suppose that's what I get for falling for you."

Fuck. You don't know where he went. It seems as if one moment you knew he was there and then the next he was gone. You peek into the hallway, glancing back and forth.

You knew you shouldn't have let your guard down. You knew that you were faced with someone who was so used to tracking and feeling magic differently and more sensitively than others that it became an extra sense to them. You feel his breath before his touch.

"It's the very reason why I sense you right away. You're leaking your tracks everywhere, love." He speaks lowly against your ear. With a harsh shove and a twist of your arm to your back, he pushes you against the wall with your front against the hard surface.

"O-Ominis, wait!—" You try to plead but the Auror only presses you more against the wall. He had your arm twisted against your back with a hold of your wrist. His chest pressed against yours and his face on the side of your neck.

"That fast?" He mocks you as he laughs closely against your ear. You try to push back against his grip but you remain defenseless.

"Fuck you."

"You wish." He mumbles lowly in your ear. He buries his face in the crook of your neck, inhaling your scent before placing possessive kisses against it. You let out sighs of pleasure before groaning in pain as Ominis grabs your head by your hair and angles it for more room on your neck.

"Let me go." You breathlessly beg as you allow him to pepper kisses against your neck. You wish to stay there and then but you knew that the boys wanted a bit more fun. After all, you wanted to get the most out of this once-in-a-lifetime situation.

"Now, why would I do that?" Ominis bites your ear lobe as he grinds his hips against your ass. You try to turn your head towards him.

"Cause you love a good chase, right? This barely counts as one." You tempt him, grinding back against his moving hips. He lets out an amused laugh, letting go of your wrist as he encloses his arms around your waist, hugging you tightly against him. You bask in his presence, head falling back on his shoulder. He turns his head to the side, placing more kisses on your neck before biting on your shoulder. You let out a soft moan.

"I'm giving you another 15 seconds. Run as fast as you can." He whispers in your ear before sensually moving his arms off your waist. He takes 5 steps back before motioning the empty corridor with a nudge of his hand. You lick your lips before running away from him.

Ominis tilts his head back as he pants from the arousal, running his fingers through his neatly styled hair before a voice enters his mind.

"Are you on your way?" Sebastian asks. Ominis rolls his eyes before fixing his coat. Sebastian often flexed his magical abilities, especially this one he had learned recently. The ability to communicate through the mind. His best friend was a natural student of magic, curious to the wizarding world and desperate in learning all of it as he is a son to two former educators. This was also what made him a pain in the ass.

"I let her go. She's on her way to you." He replies as he takes his time following your trail. He's sure if he made a run for it now, he'd get you in no time. But he decides to play by your rules.

"Fucker. Did you get a taste?" He hears Sebastian chuckle through their shared mind connection.

"Get the fuck out of my head before I get her myself."

"You're hot when you're angry, y'know?" Sebastian purrs. Ominis grunts at his flirt. "Got it, sir."

You don't know how long you've run. Most of the ministry departments were empty due to the large celebration on one of the building's halls. Everyone was there and the only creatures patrolling the halls were Matagots. They were formidable creatures who easily sensed intruders so if there was a breach in security, a single spell cast on a Matagot would immediately alert all of you. You've decided to stop at the Department of Magical Law Enforcement as you deduced that Sebastian would probably be on standby in front of the elevator when it reached the ground level. At least here, you were close to the ground floor and there's a passageway that leads you down to the ground floor discreetly (you'd have to thank Hank, the house elf in charge of the elevator for that one).

Also because you've chosen this floor, consequently you knew you were on the floor where the Auror office is located. Which means, Sebastian and Ominis's floor. This is probably the least floor to logically be on but you probably (emphasis on probably) knew that they wouldn't check here. The passageway was located at the Head Auror's office and so you just need to sneak your way in and easily escape.

Unfortunately, Merlin was being a bitch.

As soon as you opened the entrance to the Auror division, you gasp quietly at Sebastian leaning against the doors to the Head Auror's office, twirling his wand elegantly between his fingers.

"Fancy seeing you here." Sebastian smiles so innocently. You stand on alert as he moves away from the double doors and towards you with careful steps.

"How'd you know?" You ask as you take steps back with every step forward from the man in front of you. Sebastian shrugs.

"When you're well versed with the dark arts, it's quite easy to detect certain things." Sebastian hums. "Or maybe it's just basic logic. After all, you have to think ahead of your opponent."

You continue to take a step back before your back meets a surface that wasn't originally there. You turn around to see the very same man who had given you a moment of mercy.

"Again?" Ominis smiles with pity, pretending to have no clue as to why he found you yet again. You let out a loud gasp before rushing to the one side of the room to move away from them both. The two stalk toward you like predators. You could feel your breath shortening with nervousness as they cornered you to a wall. You had no way out. You discreetly glance around you before seeing an opening to the Head Auror's office. In a moment of panic and sheer bravery, you bolt down towards the double doors leading to your escape, trying to get one last chance to run away.

Sebastian snarls as he runs after you. Ominis stands behind, arms behind his back as he lets his partner handle the work. You could feel the fast thumps of his foot against carpeted floor as your hands try to open the overly complicated entrance. You clumsily open the door before a set of strong arms grab your waist and pull you away from your only chance of escaping. You scream in retaliation before a hand covers your mouth.

"Bad, bad girl." Sebastian huffs as he presses you against his chest, hand on your mouth as he watches you fight back in his grasp. His hands then move to reposition themselves. One hand wraps around your waist while the other grabs your neck and grips it back to lay your head back against his shoulder. "Should I cast Oscausi on you for being so fucking loud, hm?"

"Sebastian." Ominis calls his attention before nodding to one of the open and empty offices. He moves towards the two of you as Sebastian pulls you to the empty roomwith Ominis locking the door behind him. "Stop scaring her."

"Do you think she looks scared?" Sebastian raises his eyebrow as he settles on a desk, pulling you to his lap. You shake, riddled with sensitivity as Sebastian continues to grip your neck. Ominis raises his hands, gliding up your arms before feeling Sebastian's hold on your neck and then moving up to your face. He feels the heat from your cheeks, the dryness of your lips and hears the soft little gasps and moans escaping your mouth. You were aroused and completely at their mercy. Ominis smiles as he runs his thumb against your bottom lip before leaning in close.

"We won, little dove. Are you ready?" He gently asks. Sebastian gently eases on his grip but remains his hold on your neck. You look up at Ominis and softly brush your lips against his.

"Just fuck me already." You pant, blunt with your response as the two fall into silence.

"Fuck." Ominis curses before surging in to press his lips against yours. Sebastian almost falls back at the sudden pressure but recollects himself as he busies with kissing your neck.

Hands begin to grope at your body. Sebastian's hands gripped your waist as he moved his hips up against yours, his bulge rubbing against your heat. Ominis cups the nape of your neck to angle you for a deeper kiss. You open your mouth, allowing the blonde to intertwine his tongue with yours.

"You're so fucking pretty," Sebastian mumbles shakily as he continues to place more marks on your neck, taking advantage of a sweet spot as you moan in surprise. "She's so fucking beautiful, Ominis."

"Yeah?" Ominis responds breathlessly as he pulls away for a moment before diving in for more. "Of course, she is."

Your hands find their way into their respective hairs. Gripping the roots tightly as you pull them closer to you. The two groan in pleasure. The three of you continue to make out before Ominis pulls you back with a tug on your hair.

"On your knees, baby." He licks his lips, savoring your taste on his lips. "Suck Sebastian off."

You pant as you look back at the brunette behind you who looks at you two with lust in his eyes. Sebastian smiles smugly. "You heard the man."

You giggle before rising from his lap, placing a chaste kiss on Sebastian's lips before kneeling in between his legs. Ominis moves to your left as you unbuckle his slacks before pulling down to expose his member, watching as it slapped heavily in between his thighs. Taking his cock in your hands, you gather your drool in your tongue before dripping it down your mouth as a form of lubricant. You perform swift up-and-down motions to start it off.

"Fuck, that's it." Sebastian moans as he runs his hands through your disheveled hair. Ominis listens to his moans before feeling his way up Sebastian's shoulder and finding it's way into his curls. He grips his hair and crane his head towards him. Sebastian moans loudly at Ominis's hold on him.

"Tell me what she looks like," Ominis whispers into his ear as he places wet kisses on his jaw before biting his earlobe. He then harshly pushes his head down towards you which gives you a signal to start using your mouth on him. You lean down to take his cock in your mouth, bobbing your head up and down as you use your hands to take what you can't fit in.

Sebastian chokes his moan as he feels Ominis's grip on his head become tighter. "S-She's taking it all in. Like a good fucking girl."

Ominis hums at his response. You look up towards Sebastian innocently as you pull slightly back, sucking on his tip before you twirl your tongue around it like a lollipop.

"F-fuck— Ah. She— She looks so perfect with my cock in her— A-ah! I-In her mouth. Look's so fucking pretty— Merlin's beard." Sebastian stumbles over his words as you bob your head faster. Ominis smirks against Sebastian's cheek before he speaks parseltongue into the brunette's ear. You feel the shiver and twitch of Sebastian's hips as his face becomes flushed red at Ominis's hypnotic speaking of the language of snakes.

It seems as if Sebastian enjoyed it too much as a hand wraps itself around his neck, gripping it tight as Ominis continues to speak in tongues to his ear. Sebastian whimpers, eyes rolling back before the blonde moves his grip on his neck to his jaw to pull him into a deep kiss.

You moan at the sight of the two making out, encouraging you to give the best fucking head Sebastian Sallow has ever fucking had in his life. With a twist of your hand and fast bobs of your head, Sebastian archs his back in sensitivity, breaking away from his kiss with Ominis. His body curls as he grips your hair, pulling you away from his dick.

"F-fuck wait." Sebastian whines as he pants, not handling the intense pleasure from your mouth on his dick and Ominis's mouth on his, especially the fucking parseltongue. He almost came in your mouth if it weren't for his swift reaction. You twist your hand over his tip to tease him. He then transfers his hand from your hair to your neck, gripping it firmly. "I said wait. Can't follow simple fucking instructions. Get up."

You whimper as Sebastian pulls you up from the floor through the grip on your neck before moving his hands to grip the back of your thighs to carry up you and wrap them against his waist. He settles you down on the desk before pushing you back to lie down on it. Ominis moves to the other side of the desk where your head is placed. The two make haste on pulling your clothes off of you, leaving you bare and naked on the wooden surface.

"Fucking gorgeous," Sebastian mutters under his breath as he runs his hands on your thighs before pulling them apart to stare at your pussy. Ominis runs his hands on your chest, groping your breasts into his hands. The blonde groans at the feeling of your body within his grasp. He remembers dreaming of this very moment and it's now within the palms of his hands (literally).

Sebastian pushes your thighs up against your chest and you whine in embarrassment at the exposing position. Sebastian chuckles at your sudden shy behavior. "Don't worry, it'll pass. I'll make sure of it."

You could barely process Ominis's groping on your upper body before you feel Sebastian's tongue on your cunt. You gasp at the sudden feeling which makes Ominis smile.

"Sebastian, wait—"

"I told you to wait awhile ago, why would I do that?" Sebastian retorts before diving in and devouring your pussy like a man finally quenching his thirst. His tongue licks back and forth on your clit before sucking it. He then presses the flat of his tongue, moving it up and down before using the tip and move in circular motions. He slurps the juices dripping out of your pussy, moaning at the taste. The vibration of his moan causes you to moan loudly in pleasure.

"Sebastian— Oh fuck! fuck.. fuck!" You pant as you grip Ominis's arms, taking what Sebastian's giving. "Don't stop, please please please please!"

"Yeah?" Ominis leans down to caress your face, feeling the tears drip down the side of your face. "Little dove crying because you feel too good, hm? Poor girl."

You sob as Sebastian continues to assault your pussy with his tongue. Pleasure courses through your veins as the brunette between your legs manhandle you into the position he desires. Ominis basks in the sounds of your moans and the wet and messy slurps of Sebastian's work. His cock twitches against his pants. He eases the pain by using his free hand to rub against the front of his slacks. You look up at Ominis who continues to caress your face. "Ominis..."

"Hm?"

"Kiss me." You whine softly as you feel a knot slowly build up in your stomach. Sebastian continues to eat you up and a building pressure reveals itself in the process. Ominis smiles at you before leaning to place a kiss on your lips, upside down. He swallows your moans of pleasure as he pushes in his tongue, slowly and passionately kissing you deeply.

Sebastian glances up from his position, furrowing his eyebrows at the loss of your pathetic moaning. He smirks as he sees you focused on kissing Ominis before deciding to take matters into his own hands. He moves up to your clit, focusing the attention of his tongue there before adding the usage of his hand, gently rubbing the entrance of your cunt. You gasp at the sensation before yelping at the insertion of a finger inside.

"Ah!" You pull away from Ominis in the process as Sebastian eases his fingers into you. The brunette glances at the blonde with a smirk and a light chuckle. Ominis definitely heard that.

"Feel good, pretty girl?" Sebastian hums against the side of your thigh as he watches his finger go in and out of you before adding another one. You let out a measly moan in response. "I need to hear an answer."

"M-Mhm." You moaned out as he begins to curl his fingers up, pushing it deep within you. Sebastian pushes back against your clit, sucking it and licking it well for you. The sensation of his tongue and fingers begin to bring you closer to the edge. "Oh, fuck."

"Close?" Ominis whispers as he leans down against your ear. You let out short breaths as you feel the knot slowly unravel. Sebastian enters another finger as he speeds up the process. His fingers begin to reach depths even yours couldn't reach. It felt so fucking good as the tips of his fingers brush against a sensitive spot within you that jolts your back into an arch. It was there yet it wasn't. Sebastian's tongue flicks and sucks faster against your clit as you descend rapidly into the madness.

"Let me cum, please. please." You whined as your hand reaches up to intertwine with Ominis's locks. The blonde torments you from above as he sucks marks alongside Sebastian's work during his time on your neck from awhile ago.

"Go ahead, pretty girl," Ominis whispers in your ear alongside Sebastian's ministrations. The knot unravels fast as your body shakes violently in their care. Your orgasm is hard and slow as Sebastian does his best to lengthen it, your thighs crushing his head close against your heat. You let out long and loud moans as your body rises from the desk in the process. Ominis grabs you against his chest, kissing the side of your head softly as Sebastian continues his assault between your thighs, making sure to slurp every last bit of your release. "There you go."

"Stop, stop!" You reach a hand down, trying to push his face away from your heat. You let out a small laugh from the sensitivity as he continues to mouth your cunt.

"Tastes so fucking good," Sebastian growls as he pulls away, lips red and chin dripping with your arousal. He places a gentle kiss on your clit as you twitch in sensitivity at the action before kissing his way upwards and pulling you into a deep kiss. Your tongues intertwine as your back rests against Ominis's chest. The blonde's hand runs through Sebastian's locks, gently petting his head as the two of you kiss. His free hand moves to where your lips are connected, probing his index finger within your tongue as he tries to feel you two kiss. Ominis lets out a shaky sigh at the feel of your tongues moving against one another before you two pull away.

The brunette looks up at you with a smile. "How'd you want us?"

You take a breath as Sebastian places a chaste kiss on your cheek while Ominis places one on the side of your head. "Ominis inside. You get my mouth. He's been on the sidelines for way too long."

Sebastian nods with a cheeky grin. "Got no complaints there."

Ominis places a kiss on your forehead as he helps you up before exchanging places with Sebastian. The brunette sits on the desk as you stand between them with Ominis behind you. You hear the rustling of clothes behind you before turning around to look. Ominis had taken off his coat and bottoms, leaving him bare from the waist down. His cock slaps heavily up against his stomach, dripping pre-cum from the amount of waiting he had done. Throughout your sexual escapade, Ominis opted to listen in on your and Sebastian's pleasure than himself. He was more of a observer, preferred ordering the two of you and revel in the moans and pants pulled by pleasure. You take a note to spoil him further in the future.

He pulls you back against his chest as he moves close to you and Sebastian. The brunette cups your cheek, placing a peck on your lips before he travels his hand to the top of your head and pushing you down gently to his cock. You eagerly use your mouth to pleasure him, slipping it inside and try to take him all in.

"Damn, fuck. Can never get used to this. Your mouth is a fucking haven, baby." Sebastian curses as he feels the tip of his cock reaches the back of your throat. You choke slightly at the deepness of his dick before bobbing up and then down, forming a rhythm. The brunette tilts his head back in pleasure, letting out soft moans as his fingers tighten within your locks. Ominis listens in on his moans as he uses his wand to conjure a lubricating charm before pumping his dick for a bit of stimulation. He lets out a moan before pressing the his cock against your folds.

You moan at the feeling of a new sensation against your heat. Ominis places a hand on his shaft, rubbing the tip against your folds. He slides it against your clit, moving it in circular motions and hears your appreciative moan. His free hand then grabs your waist as leverage before finally positioning the tip against your entrance. "I'm pushing in, love."

You hum against Sebastian's dick in response before feeling the pressure of Ominis's cock split you open. He was a bit longer than Sebastian but the brunette was thicker. The two were already considered big and the moment that you felt the two of them inside you made you all the more conscious of their size. You whimper against Sebastian's cock, unable to move as Ominis continues to slide in his cock.

Sebastian glances down at your tear-stricken face, eyes closed and eyebrows furrowed in pleasure. Ominis bottoms out with a groan, letting you adjust for a moment before beginning to move. The jostle of Ominis's hips propels your forward causing Sebastian's dick to go deeper inside your mouth.

"Yeah. Liked getting fucked by Ominis?" Sebastian taunts as he brushes your hair away from your face. A bruising grip on your hips that you're sure will mark you in the morning, pulls you back with every thrust. Ominis's cock reaches depths farther than Sebastian's fingers, the curve of his dick and the ridges alongside it brushes deliciously against the soft walls of your pussy.

You moan in response as Sebastian begins to move his hips, thrusting into your mouth. You choke as you feel his throat touch the back of your throat once again.

"Support her upper body." Ominis orders. Sebastian places a hand on your shoulders as Ominis grabs both of your hands, twisting them against your lower back, holding them both with one hand as he suspends your upper body in the air with Sebastian's help. The position allows you to be completely at their mercy as Sebastian fucks your mouth at this point and Ominis's thrusts go deeper, faster and harsher.

You can only shriek and moan against Sebastian's cock as you take what they give you. Sebastian feels his release fast approaching, hips stuttering. "Holy fuck, I'm close."

You allow him to use your mouth as he pleases, thrusting fast into your mouth as he moans loudly at the process. Ominis leans down, placing a kiss on your shoulder before growling in your ear. "Don't waste a single fucking drop."

His deep voice sends a shiver down your spine and it seems as if Sebastian also heard it. The brunette releases with a choked moan, spurting his release into your mouth. He moans as his hips jerk in sensitivity, emptying it all before slumping on the desk. You swallow it all before coughing, finally being able to breathe.

Ominis takes this as an opportunity to fuck you harder.

"O-Ominis!" Your voice raises in pitch as his hips hammer against yours. He releases your arms, opting to pull you up against his chest. His hands busy themselves with your breasts as he grunts into the crook of your neck. "O-Oh fuck. Right there."

Sebastian smiles lazily as he watches his best friend rail you to the point that your eyes roll back in pleasure. To give you a more pleasurable experience, he raises a hand to wrap his fingers around your throat, gripping it with enough pressure to hear you whine and moan.

"Yeah, that's fucking right baby. Sebastian's choking you again? You love that shit." Ominis growls against your ear as he pounds your tight pussy. He angles his hips to hit that spot that Sebastian grazed over with his fingers, pulling louder moans from you. Your eyes lock with Sebastian's as Ominis fucks you from behind.

"Pretty girl's crying because you're fucking her too good." Sebastian laughs as he leans forward to kiss your tears away. Ominis chuckles against your neck. You could feel your release fast approaching as a hand makes it's way down to where you're connected.

"Mm, stretched so fucking well for me." Ominis hums before moving to your clit and circling it fast deliciously. Your moans get louder.

"Ominis, Sebastian!" You whine as you feel your release fast approaching. Sebastian tightens his grip on your throat making your moans choked as Ominis fucks you faster and deeper.

Already feeling the edge of his release, Ominis rubs faster as his hips stutter. His pace becomes harder and harsher. "Cum baby. Cum."

You let out a high-pitched whine before finally reaching your climax. Your knees shake, almost giving you up before Ominis grips you up, supporting you against his chest. You let out loud moans as your orgasm wreaks havoc throughout your body in violent shakes. Tears stream down your face at the intensity of your release and Sebastian smiles at the beauty of it all. Ominis continues to pump his cock inside, reaching for his release. "Where?"

"Inside. I-I'm on the potion. Please, cum inside." You moan as you lock eyes once again with Sebastian, his grip loosening from your neck as he pulls you into a kiss. Ominis grunts before releasing inside. He moans loudly, bottoming out as he orgasms. "Good girl."

You rest your upper body in Sebastian's embrace, waiting for Ominis to finish before whimpering as the blonde pulls out. Ominis runs a hand down to your cunt before pushing the cum back in. Sebastian chuckles as he hears you let out another weak moan.

There's a moment of comfortable silence as you three catch you breath from the amount of strenuous activities you've done in the past few hours.

"Damn, that was probably the best sex of my life." Sebastian chuckles, breaking the silence as he pulls you fully into his embrace. You rest your head on the crook of his neck while Ominis runs a hand through his hair.

"I'm so tired." You groan in exhaustion. "I'm not moving a single fucking muscle. This is both of your fault."

"Me too? It's Ominis who you should be blaming. The man was railing you to fucking oblivion." Sebastian jests which receives a harsh smack on the back of his head. You chuckle at the crisp sound of Ominis's palm hitting Sebastian's head.

"You literally fucked my throat. Sore throats are a bitch to cure." You weakly pull away from Sebastian's embrace, feeling the ache on your ass. Ominis notices your discomfort from your grunts of pain.

"Did I go too far?" The blonde shyly asks. You turn to look at him with a soft smile. You had the hardest and best fucking orgasm of your life and now this man was acting all shy and cute after he had just practically destroyed any other chance of another person reaching that kind of level with you. You couldn't really blame him after he had just ascended you to a different realm with his dick. Sebastian helps you up before you place a kiss on Ominis's lips.

"Don't worry. I loved it." You reassure him. Sebastian and Ominis help you get dressed before the two focus on their garments. Sebastian casts a cleaning charm to any suspicious fluids that might have touched any surface while Ominis casts Reparo to the destroyed piles of paper scattered on the floor (a product of their haste to fuck you moments ago).

There's a moment of silence after cleaning up as the three of you stand, fully clothed in the empty office space. This time, Ominis makes the first move. "I assume from all that's happened that you know we're still pretty much in touch with our feelings for you."

Sebastian looks at you, assessing your facial expressions as you looked at them both. Sebastian continues. "This can be a one-time thing if you don't want to delve deeper into it. We also don't mind if you prefer one over the other. Our friendship will remain intact, that I assure you."

You look at them both as their body language speaks of nervousness and fear of rejection. You doubt your friendship will ever be fixed if you chose one of them. You roll your eyes playfully. "I literally just got fucked by both of you and you're telling me to choose one?"

"I— well." Ominis tries to reason. Sebastian is silent for a moment before shrugging in agreement.

"I mean she's got a point." The brunette chuckles. You limp towards them, Sebastian's hand reaching out for you while Ominis's arm wraps around your waist.

"I assume you're choosing us both, correct?" Ominis clarifies. You chuckle at his need for reassurance before reaching up to place a kiss on his lips before turning to Sebastian to give him one as well.

"Yes. I am." You firmly answer. Ominis lets out a smile while Sebastian laughs softly. "Now please apparate me home, I'm not walking another fucking corridor after what you guys put me through."

"Yes Ma'am."

A/N: ITS DONE OFMHDHDH this took way too long but I had fun writing it. It's my first time writing filth and I hope it was up to satisfaction 😭🧎‍♂️🫶 will probs cringe at this in the future. TYSM.

[yallemagne]

Now, I know that people here probably definitely know what happened in Dracula, but for those who don’t know what Tanz der Vampire is, it’s a German musical adaptation of The Fearless Vampire Killers. I still haven’t watched the movie, to be honest, but I’ve watched this musical several times. A professor and his assistant are in Transylvania and come across an inn. The assistant falls for the innkeeper’s daughter, but she gets whisked away by an obvious vampire count and hijinks ensue. It’s a comedy, they sing Total Eclipse of the Heart. 

Now, a Tanz der Vampire/Dracula crossover could go one of two ways (truthfully, it could go several different ways,, but for the sake of simplicity, two): 

Option one: Jonathan Harker on his journey to Castle Dracula meets the eccentric Professor Abronsius and his assistant Alfred (both aged a year or so down bc I headcanon TDV to take place maybe a few years after Dracula), and the Professor kind of bullies Jonathan into letting the two of them hitch a ride. 

Has the potential to be crack treated seriously. Jonathan and Alfred could bond over being young and underpaid... and Jonathan would prove to be much more competent than Alfred in killing vampires. He had the perfect opportunity to stake Dracula on the 30th but just didn’t know what that was yet. If he had an old man hovering over his shoulder like “stab him right between the sixth and seventh rib” he’d do it.

Option two: Jonathan is the solicitor to Graf von Krolock instead of Count Dracula. I’m not sure why Krolock would want to move, he’s kinda got everything that he needs. He even has a specific village he torments and forces to supply him with candles and stuff for his parties. Perhaps he just wanted takeout. 

Krolock does things differently from Dracula. He seduces his victims because that makes the blood taste better, I guess. And he’s got a son. Herbert is kind of a parody of the sexy vampire ladies, but he’s not the only other one in the castle. Krolock has a whole graveyard of exes that he hardly feeds except for when he throws extravagant parties.

Krolock is... less of a threat, really. Rather than gorge himself on several people against their wills, he invites people to his castle with promises of freedom and pretty dresses. Aaaand when he’s done with you, you get to join his exes in the graveyard. TDV doesn’t treat itself seriously, so this second crossover is a bit less scary than Dracula unless you’re willing to twist it into something more serious (since Krolock is basically grooming people). Some slash potential, I suppose. 

LIGHTNING ROUND OPTION THREE, I LIED WHEN I SAID TWO: The Crew of Light travel back to the Carpathians and... oh no, there’s another one??? Now, they only return to Castle Dracula seven years later, so all the plot of TDV (at least in my headcanon) is said and done. Though... time is an illusion and I can set TDV any time after Dracula. 

They’re here just... you know, to spit on Dracula’s grave and honour Quincey’s sacrifice, but then they get caught in a storm and have to stay in an inn where these two Prussian researchers are causing a fuss (the older of which recognizes Van Helsing and gushes over his writings), and then the daughter of the innkeeper, Sarah, runs away to the nearby vampire castle and our team says “Fuck NO.”

And... yeah, they’d completely destroy Schloss von Krolock. None of those vampires would make it out alive, but Alfred and Sarah would so... silver linings. Imagine the utter delight with which a vampire would invite an entire posse of foreigners into his home under the assumption he’s hit jackpot... and then the white-haired twunk murders him. What a twist, how tragic for this bitch. 

Abronsius: “Stake them, boy!!”

Alfred: “I-I can’t!”

Jonathan: “Bloody-- give me that.” 

Jonathan: *stakes Krolock with cold-blooded ease*

Abronsius: “... would you consider becoming my research assistant?”

Mina: *stakes Herbert* “Have either of you ever even hunted a vampire?”

Alfred: “We weren’t really sure they existed until now...”

Seward: “... oh my god, you would have died without us here...”

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Life Goes On

This if for @buckybarnesplumwhore​

Warnings: non-consent sex and rape; grieving, funeral, breeding, handcuffs, warnings are not exhaustive so read at your own discretion.

This is dark! Andy Barber x reader and explicit. 18+ only.  Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Synopsis: You volunteer at the local youth center but when one of the kids meets an unfortunate end, you cross paths with his father. No stranger to grief, you try to help him cope but find it a bigger than task that you expected.

Note: When I started writing, I had no plan. When I kept writing, there was still no plan. And then it just all kinda happened.

Thanks to everyone for sticking around and putting up with me and thanks in advance for all your feedback. :)

I really hope you enjoy. 💋

<3 Let me know what you think with a like or reblog or reply or an ask! Love ya!

It was too sunny for a funeral. A funeral come too soon.

The service was held out in the sun, rows of wooden chairs and a sombre old priest. You never knew if the Barbers were religious but it was easy to find a holy man in Massachusetts, as easy as those early years of settlement found in textbooks. 

There were no flowers, only two oblong caskets shrouded in black cloth, the name of each of the dead on silver placards, no pictures, no souvenir of who they were.

It was like Andy was already trying to forget them. He was at the front, the grieving widower and father. You were lost somewhere in the middle with his co-workers, there out of propriety more than empathy, and distant relatives who attended out of courtesy, some passing acquaintances who followed the story in the papers more than out of compassion. It was a spectacle and Andy had done his best from feeding the leering onlookers.

You knew Jacob more than his parents. He was younger than you, almost ten years apart. You knew him from the youth group you volunteered for, the same one you'd been in at his age. He was out of place there, he was from a better neighbourhood than the other kids, they called him the rich brat, and he resented himself more for it than he did them.

His attendance kept his mother happy. He didn't like the individual counseling, he didn't talk, so she put him in the group and he talked there. Sometimes. The kids never went on philosophical monologues but they understood each other and shared what they needed to.

Laurie was always late to pick him up. So he stayed to help stack the chairs and you ended up waiting with him, making sure he wasn't alone in the dark. He hated that at first too, until he realised you weren't on the stoop to council or judge. You were just two people, chatting to pass the time.

Sometimes Andy picked him up. He was friendlier than Laurie. Jacob's mother was always in a rush, even on her way home where there was no deadline. She said thanks, maybe, and drove off as she began to lecture Jacob about how he wore his hat. Andy offered you a ride, every time, as if he had some compulsion to be the good guy, the saviour. You always said no, the bus was a five minute ride to your building, fifteen minutes if you walked.

Now Jacob was dead, his mother too. Another tragedy inflicted upon those least likely. Even death didn't stop the whispers, even that venue, the priest's collar, the Biblical dirges, the grim family man in black did not silence them. It sickened you as the service ended and the people rose in a hushed murmur.

Andy left without talking to anyone. The procession of cars would drive through the streets with flags to mark the grieving on their way to the interment. It was as if Andy was doing what was expected more than what he felt he owed the deceased. He was ever the lawyer, formal and curt.

You followed the grey parade. Not out of obligation but out of genuine regret. Jacob seemed like a lost kid, even in death. The rumours, the accusations, the suspicion, followed him. The people didn't watch the dirt fall from the shovel to see him at peace, they watched it as some grand finale to the great show of the Barbers.

When the metal no longer cut and scattered the soil, the crowd thinned out. You stayed as the diggers packed up. You were sad for Jacob, for Laurie. Andy hadn't been there to see the burial. You couldn't blame him but you were surprised. He just disappeared after the service, apparently done with his part in the play. 

You went closer and stared at the new stone that stretched above both plots. Laurie Barber… and her son, Jacob Barber. May they rest. It was as short, as minimal as anything else about the affair. You wiped your eyes with the back of your hand. You didn't know if Jacob was a bad seed, it wasn't your job to make that call, but he had just been a kid and all that potential was now six feet down.

"Didn't think anyone would stick around," the dark figure stepped up beside you, his steps muted by the grass, "least of all, you."

"I'm sorry, I…" you looked at Andy and then the dirt, "I'll go."

"Wait," he said before you could move, "I thought-- I thought I wanted to be alone for this…" he shoved his hand in his pocket, "but I've been alone since it happened and I'm realising, I'm gonna be alone from here on out."

You didn't say a word. You didn't know what you could say. He'd heard a hundred apologies, a hundred condolences.

"I'm happy someone stayed, that someone cared," he cleared his throat, "thank you."

You nodded and played with the buttons on your cardigan.

"He was too. Happy, you know, that someone cared. I think back now and I realise that you probably saw him more than me. He was always excited to go to the centre but he got in that car and he just… deflated." He shook his head, "maybe this is better. One way or the other, he wanted to get away from me but he never could get away from Laurie. She wouldn't let him go."

He chuckled sardonically but it quickly fizzled in his throat.

"Sorry, I'm rambling…"

"You're processing," you said, "a lot of the kids down at the centre, they lost parents, one way or the other, orphans, fosters… I always told them that they didn't have to make sense because grief never really does."

"Now that makes a lot of sense," he said, "but you shouldn't have to listen to me."

"I shouldn't or you don't think you should say any of it?"

"Hmmm," he hummed, "yeah, maybe."

"I don't get paid to listen to those kids, I just get a time and a place to do so. This isn't different. It's just talking and a lot of that is just figuring things out. Listening is easy, you're doing the hard part."

"Jeez, you come up with this stuff on your own or is there some sort of how-to book?"

You lifted your chin and sucked in your lip. You could tell where Jacob got the bite from.

"Sorry, that was… mean," he said after the silence settled with the dirt, "can I ask you something?"

"Sure," you said.

"You got somewhere to be?"

"No…" you answered cautiously.

"Do you think you might wanna listen to me a little more? I'll buy you a coffee for the trouble."

"You wanna talk? To me?"

"Better than anyone I do know," he snorted, "they all just give me that dumb look. They pity me, judge me. You don't have to say yes but I started now, if I stop, I'll...stop."

"Coffee?" You glanced over at him, "I'd rather tea."

"I'm sure they got that too," he fiddled with the trim of his pocket, "anytime you wanna bail, let me know."

"If I can handle teen angst, I think I can handle you."

🖤

That afternoon wasted away in the corner of a café. It felt like any other day but for Andy, you knew, it was likely the worst day of his life. Likely a day he wouldn’t forget. You sat patiently until the last of your tea was cold. He didn’t finish his coffee, he hardly even touched it. When you checked the time, he looked down embarrassed.

“It’s late,” he said, “I… I’m sorry for keeping you so long.”

“I didn’t have anything to do. I doubt you did either,” you swept up the paper cup and your purse.

“No, really, I mean, you don’t know me. You knew Jacob and I just sat here and talked your ear off for hours. I--” he looked out the window, “I know that when I go home, the house will still be empty. That’s why I’m here.”

You looked past him as he turned back. You chewed your lip, “Andy, have you looked into counseling yet?”

“It feels… too early for that.”

“Too early?”

“I don’t want to let it go. Don’t want to let them go,” he sucked his hands in his pockets, “if I go, that’s what they’ll tell me to do.”

“No, they’d help you live with it, not forget it,” you said, “but I know, it’s scary. Have you done anything? Read anything?”

“Read?”

“Self-help isn’t for everyone and those dummy books aren’t great I admit, but sometimes a start is better than nothing. What about… a routine? Do you have one?”

“I work, I come home, I sleep, and try not to notice they’re gone,” he shrugged, “and repeat. Lot of overtime.”

“You’re still working?” you went to the door and he followed.

“Well, I talked to you. That’s what I’m going to do about it.”

You stepped out into the evening din and spun to look at him. You crossed your arms and stood across from him on the pavement.

“Well, unfortunately there’s an age limit down at the centre,” you said, “but I could give you a number for an adult group.”

“No, I don’t wanna talk to a group of sad parents and widowers. Just remind me how pathetic I really am,” he scoffed.

“Do you think that what you’re doing right now is better?”

“Do you have a degree in this?” he wondered, “what are you doing down at that youth centre talking to degenerates?”

“I have a certificate that says I’m good at listening, but no, I couldn’t afford a degree,” you dropped your arms, “but, will you come down? Sit in on a session. Just listen… for Jacob? It helped him, I think, after a while?”

“With the kids?”

“Yeah, with the kids,” you said, “maybe it will help you decide.”

“Decide what?”

“If you’re going to keep doing what you're doing; nothing, or if you’re going to try. Trust me, after a while, just sitting there, ignoring it, it gets old and it won’t get better.”

He looked down and stared at his leather shoe as he ground his toe into the pavement, “is that allowed? Am I allowed to do that?”

“I don’t see why not. I have parents sit in all the time.”

“But I’m not-- not anymore,” he gulped.

“You are,” you patted his arm gently, “you always will be.”

“What time?” he raised his head.

“Tuesdays and Thursdays at four-thirty. We do accept late arrivals. Kids come in and out. Usually hang out til seven before I let them go.”

“I think I can make that work,” he exhaled deeply, “thank you.”

“For what?”

“For putting up with me.”

You nodded and gave a bittersweet smile, “I miss Jacob too. I might be little more than a glorified babysitter but it means something to me. The kids… they feel like they’re mine sometimes. At least on those two nights a week.”

“Well…” he peered down the street, “you need a ride?”

You chuckled quietly, “you now, I think this time, I do.”

🖤

Andy was early. He took a chair near the wall as the kids flopped on the low sofas and into the colourful armchairs. A government grant had seen an upgrade in the lounge, although the kitchen needed some work as the cooking classes were still short on supplies. Dark circles darkened his eyes and the hairline wrinkles around them added to the hollow effect. He wasn’t sleeping.

You waited for the room to quiet. You greeted the kids and went through the usual ice breaker; one bad thing, one good thing, and one way they could improve the bad. Many of them were reluctant at first, they resisted what they thought were cheesy and inane exercises but they all came around. They were able to voice things that otherwise would be kept to themselves and they were afforded a respectful and often rapt audience.

When you finished, you kept from naming your own three. You looked at Andy.

“I’m sorry, everyone, I’m so forgetful. This is Andy,” you gestured to him, “he’s sitting in with us today. Andy, why don’t you tell us your bad thing, your good thing, and one thing you can do to improve the bad.”

He looked startled but he stood and cleared his throat. He glanced around at the kids and the shadow left his face. “Well, I lost a file, there were free bagels at work, and… I guess I could try to look again tomorrow.”

“Very good,” you smiled, “alright, my turn at last. My bad thing is I spilled tea on my shirt, my good thing is it’s a dark shirt, and my thing to improve is… wear a bib.” You laughed as you audience stay stone faced, “alright, alright, I’ll just be more careful and not run with hot liquids.”

You sat and started with Danica. She was always the most talkative, that encouraged the other kids. Today was no exception and you had to remind her to save some time for everyone else. Erik was next, then Andre, and Shamea. You almost didn’t notice Andy as he stood and sidled against the wall. Not until he was at the door, he looked back darkly and you saw his chest fall heavily. His nostrils flared and he was gone.

You tried not to show your disappointment, tried not to let the kids notice. They were all caught up in the circle and breaking it was never good. Shamea passed the stuffed bunny to Naima and you focused on her. Maybe it was too soon for Andy, you understood that, but you hoped too that he might have found a piece of Jacob there.

Before the kids left, you handed out the coloured markers and they each scribbled down a few words before a high-five. They passed through the open door in pairs and singles, and you bent to add your own note. You tucked the card into your bag and locked up. Jacob was usually the only one to hang around. Not anymore.

You headed out the front door with a wave to Martha at the front desk and took a gulp of the fresh evening air. There was someone sat on the flat stone at the bottom of the broad rail of the stairs. You recognised Andy as you neared, much too big to be a teen.

“I’m sorry,” he dabbed his nose with his sleeve, “I couldn’t… I couldn’t stay in that room.”

“But you’re still here,” you said.

“I didn’t wanna just leave you hanging but… they all remind me of him,” he stood, “I’m sorry.”

“No more apologies,” you opened your purse and searched, “I had the kids put this together. Actually, it was Milo’s idea. He didn’t know it was you but he wanted to send it in the mail--”

“What?” he took the card and opened it. He turned so he could read it in the yellow light of the street lamp, “oh my god.”

“Is it too much?”

“No, no,” he ran his thumb over the ink, “it’s…” he closed it and tucked it into his jacket, “the only other thing I’ve got is the bill for the caskets. It’s… amazing. Thank you.”

“Not at all. They always surprise me,” you said, “most of the time, in good ways.”

“You need a ride?” he checked his watch.

“I don’t live far,” you waved him off, “but I always appreciate the offer.”

He nodded and frowned, “and if… if I didn’t want to be alone? Would you grab a burger with me? Have you eaten?”

“Not since lunch, I, uh… I guess it couldn’t hurt,” you said.

“You gotta be up early?”

“Nah, not too early.”

“What do you do? I mean, outside of this?” he turned and directed you to his car.

“Data entry,” you sighed, “it’s not very exciting but I work remotely and the pay is decent and I still have time for the kids.”

“It’s a living,” he said as the door locks clicked and you grabbed the handle, “no judgment. Trust me, being a lawyer, it’s really not as glamourous as it seems.”

🖤

Andy’s routine changed. He came around every Thursday and listened. After a few weeks, the kids figured out who he was. They didn’t treat him any differently and even invited him to join in on the teambuilding games you arranged. He wasn’t bad help as you welcomed a few new members from the group home.

That night, you weren’t feeling great. Even the kids hadn’t helped much. You were exhausted and nauseous. You blamed it on the late night shawarma. You said goodbye to the kids and packed up. Andy stacked the chairs without you asking, even when you told him not to.

You leaned heavily on the table and checked your phone before slipping it into your bag. You wiped your forehead and shivered. Some gravol, ginger ale, and sleep would be your indulgence that night.

“You okay?” Andy asked.

“Stomach thing,” you rubbed your middle, “nothing major.”

“You don’t look great,” he said, “well, I don’t mean it like-- are you sure--”

“Oh, gee,” you slid past him and out the door.

You ran to the restroom across the hall and into a stall. You wretched and the acid seared your throat. The bile bubbled in the toilet water and you shuddered. You heaved a few more times and rinsed your mouth in the sink.

Andy was waiting for you in the hall, “let me drive you tonight,” he insisted, “even if it’s just a block away.”

“I can’t even say no,” you grumbled as he handed you your purse.

“What’s wrong? You eat something?”

“I think,” you groaned as he held the door open and the cool air outside chilled the sweat on your neck, “urgh, I hope it’s only that.”

You got to his car and fell heavily into the seat. You slumped against the console as he started the car. He paused as the engine idled and felt your forehead. He nudged you back against the seat and turned his hand to press the back of his fingers to your cheek.

“You got a fever,” he said, “I don’t think it’s food poisoning.”

“Oh, those kids carry bugs like rats,” you muttered, “just take me home, I’ll get over it.”

He pulled out of his spot and you closed your eyes. You leaned against the window, frigid against your forehead and hugged yourself. You dozed off before he even turned out of the lot, the belt keeping you from folding over entirely.

🖤

You woke up between fresh linen. The sunlight was soft in its early hues. It wasn't your bed. You rolled onto your side and your stomach ached from how empty it was. You pushed back the thick duvet, you were sweating. You didn't remember more than the car ride and a few fuzzy glimpses of the bottom of a bucket. 

You were cold again and pulled the blanket back. The door was open and Andy filled it as if he'd heard your grumbles. He stood at the bottom of the bed in a pair of plaid pants and a blue tee.

"Why am I here?" You asked. 

"You fell asleep. You're sick. I couldn't just leave you outside your building," he said, "how are you feeling?"

"Bad," you replied curtly, "I can go," you sat up, "stop by the pharmacy, go hide in my own bed."

"You should stay here," he insisted, "just until the fever breaks."

"Really… ugh," you moaned as your belly clenched, "Andy, I should--"

"Lay down?" He came around and caught your shoulder, "I used to call in sometimes when Jacob was home sick. When he was a lot younger and… I stir up a man cup of noodles."

"You don't have to--"

"It's completely selfish," he interrupted, "it's been a long time since I had someone to take care of or at least it feels like it."

You were light-headed as you tried to stand but he kept you from getting to your feet, "I guess I can stay a little longer."

"Don't act like I don't owe you," he tutted, "now relax. I'll get you some soup. You need something in your system. I got some anti-nausea pills in the cupboard, too."

"Thanks but you don't owe me anything. I'm gonna owe you big."

"Why don't we just call it even then," he backed up, "seeing as that's my bed and my couch, it's really not made for sleeping." He stretched his arms and his shoulders cracked, "especially at my age."

🖤

You stayed another night. You tried to convince Andy to let you take the couch instead but he was a lawyer and rarely lost an argument. It was easier to eat by the evening but you were still dizzy and you couldn't stop yawning. You'd never been so tired.

Despite your uneasiness at overstaying your welcome, you slept more heavily than before. Your guilt didn't keep you awake for long as you sank into a deep sleep and you woke slowly, a murmur escaping your lips as grogginess weighed you down. You were still so very tired but it was already morning.

You stretched and your wrist caught. You winced and tugged at your arm. You sat up in horror as you stared at the metal cuff attached to the hoop drilled into the headboard. You tugged until your arm hurt and your hand throbbed. What the fuck.

"Andy! Andy! What--"

"Shhhhh," Andy hushed you as he entered, "it's okay, you're okay."

"No, I'm not. What did you do?" You pulled again and the metal pinched your skin.

"You're going to hurt yourself," he said calmly.

"Unlock it. Let me go," you struggled as you kicked off the blankets, "Andy, what the fuck?"

"Hey, don't talk like that. It's...nasty."

"I don't understand," you began to pant, "why are you doing this?"

The panic crawled like tendrils up your neck and back. You twisted and pulled but the metal cuff didn't budge. You felt the bed shift and Andy grabbed your shoulder. He forced you down, pinning your other hand beside your head.

"I'm taking care of you," he said, "don't be so ungrateful."

"I can take care of myself. Let me go, please."

"No, you need me," he snarled, "like I need you."

"Andy, you're wrong--"

"Stop!" He covered your mouth, "stop! You don't know what you need. Now be still. Be quiet." He squeezed until your jaw hurt, "don't make this difficult."

He slowly lifted his hand and you didn’t move. You stared at his hand then looked at his face. There was a desperate anger in the depths of his oceanic eyes. He sat back and his jaw clenched as he watched you.

"I'm going to make breakfast. Be good. You need to eat." He backed off the bed and went to the door, "I mean it."

He left you and you listened until pans clinked and clanged in the kitchen below. You folded your thumb against your palm and tried to wiggle free of the cuff. It was too tight. There was only one other way out and you couldn't do it alone.

"HELP! HELP! SOMEONE PLEASE!" You screamed, "someone help me!"

The footsteps hammered up the stairs and Andy stormed in. He grabbed you and clamped his hand over your mouth again.

"Listen, no one can hear you, you got that? Windows are soundproof, but I really don't want to hear it so it's up to you if I gag you."

You blinked and your lip trembled against his hand. Your eyes rounded and you nodded stiffly. He tore his hand away and sighed as he clapped his hands on his legs in frustration.

"Good," he said quietly, "now, let's just hope," he stood and strode to the door, "that the bacon didn't burn."

🖤

You fell asleep again shortly after eating, even with the adrenaline and panic surging through your veins. You woke again in the afternoon. Your limbs were heavy but the fever was gone and your stomach felt better but you were still terribly tired. 

Andy was there. He had a leather file in his lap as he looked over papers and scratched his beard. He sensed your movement and looked over at you.

"Hungry?" He asked, "you slept through lunch."

"No," you smelled your sweat on the duvet, "but… can I have a shower? I haven't...since I got here."

"A shower?" He closed the folder and stood. He set it down and pursed his lips as he thought. "Fifteen minutes," he said as he dug around in his pocket, "I'll be here."

He unlocked the cuff and you rubbed your wrist as you sat up. He stayed close as you rose and stayed between you and the bedroom door as he pointed you to the bathroom.

"I don't have much for you to wear yet but you can take another one of my shirts," he said.

You nodded and closed the door between you. You closed your eyes and pressed yourself to the wind. How was this the same man that you spoke to that day at the cemetery?

🖤

He slept beside you that night. You were on your side, your arm bound again by the cuff with the pillow between it and your head. You were uncomfortable, more so with him against your back. He wore only a pair of boxers. You shied away when he undressed and never looked at him again.

You dozed despite your nerves. You couldn't shake the drowsiness. You just felt more and more tired. When you opened your eyes, his arm was around you. He ran his fingers over your stomach, fingers crawling beneath the baggy tee shirt. You shivered and he nuzzled the back of your neck.

"I was thinking… well, I've been thinking for a while now, how happy we could be," he said, "I'm still young enough to try again, do it right and you… you're young, ready." His hand brushed up to your chest and he cupped your tit, "you're kind, you're caring, you're...beautiful. You’re my second chance."

“Andy,” your voice was brittle as your pulse beat furiously, “what you’re doing, it’s not right. You need to let me go.”

He went rigid and his hand stopped. He unsnaked his arm from around you and the springs coiled as he fell heavily onto his back. In the silence, you could only hear his steady breaths and a low growl.

“No, I’m helping you,” he said, “like you’ve helped me.”

“Andy, please,” you eased onto your back and looked over at him, “this isn’t how you fix this.”

“How do I?” he snarled, “huh? How? You don’t know!” he sat up and glared down at you, “you can’t know.”

“You think hurting me is helping me? That’s what you’re doing.”

“No, no, no,” he bent his legs as he grasped his head and gripped it as if it would crack, “No! I haven’t hurt you. I feed you, I keep you clean, I… I take care of you!”

“Andy,” you reached over shakily and touched his bare shoulder, “this isn’t what I want and I know you don’t want it either. You want someone who really loves you--”

“You love me!” he turned so quickly you yelped. He gripped your jaw tightly as he held himself against you, “you love me,” he pressed his lips to yours and you murmured in surprise, “you love me,” it was a maddened chant as he pulled back, “...love me.”

“And--”

His hand flew up to smother you and he lifted himself over you. His knees pressed to your legs until they parted and his other hand explored your curves through the rumpled cotton. You squeaked and tensed against his touch, your wrist chafing from the cuff.

“Shhh,” he hushed as he pushed the shirt up.

He kept his hand on your mouth as he slid down your body and left a trail of kisses along your torso as he unveiled it. He bunched the tee above your chest and bent to dote on your tits. You shuddered and pushed on his head as you mumbled into his palm.

His fingers tickled along your side and hooked into the side of the drawstring shorts he gave you. He tugged until the string snapped and edged them down as he continued to tend to your chest. You kicked around him and felt his bulge as he leaned into you.

He ripped his hand away and sat up. He grabbed the waist of the shorts and wrenched them down your legs, quickly taking his between them again. You wriggled and batted out at his chest as his thumbs pressed against your hip bones and his hands crept down to knead your thighs.

“I can start again,” he brushed his fingers down your vee and you trembled as they danced along your cunt.

“No, Andy, please, you can still stop--”

“Shhhh, honey,” he pushed between your folds and you gasped, “it’s okay. I’ll still take care of you,” he glided over your cunt and made you twitch, “and the baby.”

He poked along your entrance and you whined helplessly as you reached to the cuff and pulled with both arms. Every muscles in your strained as you tried to break free of the headboard. He pushed a finger inside of you and you cried out.

“Andy, stop, please, no--”

He added another finger and slipped them in and out of you as he purred. You looked at his face and it sent a chill through you. His eyes were dark and clung to the movement of his hand, his brow set and his jaw squared with his intent. He wasn’t the grieving widower, he wasn’t the man lost and lonely, he was a monster.

“That’s it,” he turned his hand and flicked your clit with his thumb, “you want me. I feel it.”

You looked away as your wetness spread to his knuckles and along your folds. He kept his thumb moved as he curled his fingers inside of you and the pressure built as the tip of his touch. You gritted your teeth and shook your head helplessly.

“No,” you whispered, “no, no, no…”

He took his hand away suddenly and you felt empty. He lifted himself on his knees and rolled down his boxers. You didn’t look at him, you couldn’t, you only saw the silhouette of his nudity.

He pushed your thighs apart and spread himself over you, his elbow just beside you as he felt around between your bodies. His hot breath grazed your cheek and he kissed it firmly as he angled his tip between your folds. Your thighs clenched around him in a futile act of resistance as he found your entrance.

He pushed inside slowly and brought his other arm up beside you. He forced your head straight and you squeezed your eyes shut. He cradled your head between his hands and his lips brushed yours as he spoke, “open your eyes. Look at me.”

“Andy,” you murmured as he slowly got deeper, “please--”

“Look at me,” he demanded, “look at me!”

Your eyes snapped open and met his stormy blue ones. He bucked his hips and impaled you completely. You exclaimed and grasped his thick bicep in shock, your other hand balled above the cuff. Your legs bent around his thick thighs as you tried to stop him.

“God, you feel so good,” he purred as he began to rock, “don’t I feel good too?”

Your lashes fluttered away the rising tears and you sucked your lip in to keep from making a sound. You could look away as he held your head straight, his hand clamping around your jaw as he other arm bent beneath yours.

The room echoed with the noise of his flesh slapping yours as he sped up, his grunts and groans interlaced with the sickening symphony. You quivered as his pelvis rubbed against yours and stoked the heat in your core. You could not hold back the illicit response of your body as he ravaged it.

Your breath grew heavier and he gulped it down as he kissed you again, forcing his tongue between your lips as he devoured you. The whole bed moved in time with your body and the headboard knocked against the wall as his thrusts came closer and closer together and he buried himself as deep as he could with each tilt of his hips.

He drew his mouth away and pressed his cheek to yours as his muscles tensed and he puffed into the pillow, “this is it, honey. It all starts here.”

“Ah, please…” your voice fizzled and smothered your moan against his shoulder as your body spasmed. Your legs bent around him firmly as you orgasmed and your body arched beneath his desperately.

“That’s it,” he cooed, “that’s it. You take me so well. See… it was meant to… be.”

His breaths grew more rampant with his rhythm. His hand slipped down to cradle your cheek and his thumb stroked your flesh tenderly as he dipped into you over and over. His deep groans grew louder around you. He jerked into you sharply and his motion stuttered. He gripped your hip and held you down as he sheathed himself in your walls. 

He quaked as his hips slowed and he flooded you. He exhaled and as his lungs emptied, the strength left him entirely and he lowered himself over you weakly. His body pressed yours into the mattress, your sweat and his turned sticky as the air settled over you.

He stayed like that for what felt like forever. He moved slowly to lift himself up and he sat back, watching his dick slide out of you. Your thighs shook as your legs splayed around him. You felt his cum leak from you and he dragged his fingers along your cunt and scooped it back into you, coating his fingers in as he pushed them past your entrance once more. He smiled at the wet sounds of your cunt.

“That felt like the one,” he said, “but we can try again...”

He pulled his fingers out of you and admired the slickness that glistened over them. He reached down and gripped his dick, half-soft and spent. He winced as he began to stroke himself and let out stifled moans between his teeth.

“Maybe this time,” he purred as he angled himself inside of you again and lifted your legs against his torso. He bit his lips as he trembled, his cock oversensitive and overworked, “as many times as it takes, honey.”

[seagull-energy]

I am shaking your hand so hard at "reading whatever was in dad's study"!!! My dad is a huge legion collector and has a bunch of original issues, but those were kept away from light and dangerous child fingers so all I had access to was his 2 collections of 60s legion stories and legion lost from 2000 (which sure was some tonal whiplash when I read them back to back at age 8 lol) Threeboot is alright!! I can never completely vibe with continuities in which Brainy is an "I don't get emotions" asshole, but Mark Waid's writing is always solid and it had some really interesting ideas. Also I liked the focus on Dream Girl because she's always been a character that fascinates me. I did also really enjoy the later reboot stuff! (although I haven't gotten around to the early bits yet) Lots of great character drama there, and also several new characters who I think should be permanent additions to the roster and I don't know why later 'boots decided to drop them :( (thinking of Kid Quantum, XS, and Monstress here) Writing-wise reboot era is probably my favorite that I've read, although silver age still beats it in overall favorite status bc of a mix of nostalgia and having read more of it X) The silver age is bonkers and I love it. It's kind of lacking on the character development compared to later stuff, but it's a lot of fun and has some of the best goofy sci-fi plots I've ever seen. My favorite example is that there's a story where the Legion is being spied on and they can't figure out how it's happening, only for it to be revealed that the spy is a minaturized man with a radio hiding inside a medicinal capsule in Sun Boy's ankle. Like who comes up with stuff like that??? Is it cheesy and very of-the-time? Yes. Do I love it anyway? Also yes. Also the outfits are great and I will fight for them. I could collect issue recommendations if you like, but tbh I think tracking down the archive volumes at a library or something would be ideal because they're a great intro to the silver age vibe. Sorry for the massive essay of unstructured rambling lol, literally no one I know except my dad reads Legion and they're my favorite corner of dc comics so I'm always itching to talk about them. Also I spent the spring doing redesigns of the entire silver age team so I'm even more !!!!! about them than usual

YOU'RE A LEGION OF SUPERHEROES FAN HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS ALREADY?????? WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ERA??? MINE IS SILVER AGE BC I READ THE ARCHIVE EDITIONS A LOT AS A KID

SDKFJGHSKDJFGHSJKDGH YOU'RE A LEGION OF SUPER-HEROES FAN??? RIGHT BACK AT YOU

i don't talk about it much partly because it's one of my most niche comics interests (and partly because i don't talk about my comics interests very much at all); also bc my relationship with the various eras/continuities is....... complicated? all my comics knowledge comes from reading whatever i found in my dad's study growing up. in this case that means i started with mark-waid-era threeboot, which i still have a nostalgic attachment to but also an ongoing feud with, before later discovering DnA-era reboot continuity, which i think is probably still my favourite. earlier reboot stuff i've read a bit of but don't know that well, and i'm not sure i know any silver-age stuff (though could be talked into trying some!)