#and some side plot that would be a conflict

[maccakgae]

seeing this comment made me realize how utterly... boring a mil*ven endgame would be.

isn't it just odd for all of the romance subplots of the series to just get resolved in the fourth season out of five, way before the climax of the story, making them completely detached from its thematic framework?

stranger things is a coming-of-age story, just as it's horror and sci-fi, it's character-driven and character-focused, its supernatural elements mirror and support internal and interpersonal struggles of the cast. finishing off all the romance this early without weaving it into the overall plot would render it all obsolete — they'd be better off not including it to begin with. having romance nothing to do with the literal climax and resolution would mean all of the romantic subplots of the previous seasons were just meaningless filler, drama to keep the audience entertained. it would mean that for four seasons straight, they've been focusing on inconsequential fluff, wasting screen time and not developing parts of the narrative that actually have something to do with what the story is about.

it's shit writing, period.

+ also

you might ask, why can't established mil*ven be its own romance plot? simple! if we assume that mil*ven are not heading towards a break up, they've had their climax already. if mike's declaration of love is to be taken at face value (and that's the only way to view it that supports mil*ven endgame), it's the highest point of their subplot. what else is there to come? mike proposes to el? let's not be ridiculous.

s4 had created a conflict in their relationship that came to a head in the finale and culminated in mike's monologue. so either it has fixed things and mileven enter s5 solid and secure, and their plot is done with, or it hasn't. if mike literally professing to el that he loves her didn't get rid of the issue at the root, not much can be done for them.

(side note to add that i'm not insinuating that saying ily is a fix-all. it's entirely possible to tell a story about a couple learning to communicate better or whatnot, but mil*ven is not that story. they are two teenagers in their first romantic relationship fighting ancient evil that hates them personally, figuring out their love language and healthy boundaries is NOT a good fit for them thematically)

nancy and jonathan have some unresolved issues, that's true, but nancy and jonathan are also not the main characters. they have a lot of screen time, for sure, but they are supporting characters narratively speaking. the main characters are and always have been willelmike, and let me remind you that for the last two seasons both will and mike have been locked into the relationship drama plot. it's especially apparent with s4, they have almost nothing to do but talk around their feelings — meaning it's vital! it's a setup for the next season! it is their plot, and in s5 all of that will get a resolution! no matter how it ends, endgame or not, season 5 is about byler and there's nothing that can be done about it.

[lakecoded]

okay honestly. and i promise i will stop thinking about the deeply mediocre film argylle after this. but people have been talking about how confusing and how meta it is. but it isn't even that weird or meta????? like grow up! watch weirder movies

[themyscirah]

Was thinking about how I would write a Suicide Squad book if I got the chance to post (hypothetical) Absolute Power and like... I would totally rock this guys

Won't go totally into it here I don't think because time and also feeling pumped about the idea so may write something for it (which I have an AWFUL track record for finishing, but also if current Waller appearances piss me off enough who knows) but anyways it would have Amanda Waller and Ben Turner (Bronze Tiger) as dueteragonists, (especially for the first few arcs, although moving to a greater Waller focus [at least for a bit] around issue 10? 15? When she really starts to do things). Anyways the main story (at least at the beginning) would follow Ben Turner as he leads the squad both in the field and at home (essentially acting as the "Waller" along with his normal field leader duties) while secretly having Waller herself in residence at Belle Reve pretending to be a prisoner.

Early issues would focus on Ben saving the world (and keeping the squad in check) while also struggling to hide Waller from the government, heroes, and the rest of Belle Reve (save an accomplice or two). This of course works great, until it doesn't

[arolesbianism]

Thinking abt my salmonid ocs again... I need to design them soooo bad but at the same time I have yet to decide what to do with their clothes as while the traditional battle salmon pant would suffice my need to do needless extra work for the sake of worldbuilding is powerful indeed

[unproduciblesmackdown]

fr both taylor's quants as mirrors to themself. rian Seen as so meritous and deserving and talked to and tasked with and advised and considered but apparently rian's whole thing is going "huh. wha" and having wendy's level of self-reflection (none). winston who is begrudgingly allowed to sit in his corner and ignored b/c he's undeserving so he can't really be meritous and nobody would look in that mirror b/c it's gonna be So not their reflection. while he just won't stop cassandraing and having all these insights and perception and observations nobody even asked or told him to have and is peak taylor understander and just like taylor: isn't guided by a paper-thin ego but also will take criticism / blame / mistreatment Too Much for his own good

[inthelittlewood]

Questions about Eyes And Ears AU

I had somebody ask for a brief interview regarding my storytelling for their university project and thought I'd lend a hand.

I thought those of you that follow the story might like the insight too, so here ya go:

When you first introduced the Listeners in Evo SMP, did you have a broader narrative or concept in mind, or were they more of an atmospheric element at that point?

The honest answer is that I didn't want to write too much about somebody else's character(s), that being Grian's Watchers. If I could write the conflict from the side of the Listeners then we could continue the narrative with a pre-designed opposing force but have them be relatively mute for the most part. Partly to build anticipation of when they might act or retaliate but it also worked for behind the scenes purposes too. If the series hadn't slowed/stopped as suddenly as it did, I definitely would have poked Grian to pick his brain about what story elements fit his original imagining of the Watchers. So it was mostly narrative reasoning but they also served a mechanical behind the scenes purpose of transporting us to a new area which was necessary due to bugs we'd encountered with world gen etc.

What inspired you to flesh out the Eyes and Ears AU more in recent years? Was that mostly a personal creative decision, or was it influenced by fan interest?

Honestly I hadn't premeditated too much their reintroduction into anything that I was working on. Sure I'd seen a little chattering here and there about the Watchers but I honestly just wanted to write an individual story beat (albeit a tropey one) of c!Martyn snapping and turning on Ren but that never came to fruition due to Scar taking us out. The plan was always to backstab Ren then say a cool line like "Red Winter is over, Red Spring has begun" or something else punny. Seeing the fevered reaction of the audience though gave me some confidence that I could try my hand at some layered or entirely post-production storytelling, so heading into Last Life I was all guns blazing.

The Eyes and Ears AU is quite open-ended — do you intentionally approach it with the idea of leaving narrative space for fan interpretation?

It really is right? Yes, it's a very mindful decision to leave it open-ended but not so much for the audience's benefit or interpretations, but to give myself creative freedom to take the story wherever I'd like to. Committing to too many power scale, multiverse or narrative shackles early can really strangle stories I've noticed (from reading comics and manga) meaning back pedalling or aggressive retcons are required to explore certain paths, which is rarely a good experience for the reader. I do enjoy their versatility and capability to be applied to any Minecraft or adjacent story too. Some might call it too broad, I call it malleable.

How do you feel about fans expanding the lore through headcanons and theories? Have any fan interpretations stood out or surprised you?

I think it's brilliant! People inundate my inbox on Tumblr seeking permission to write stories or create characters / AUs but I've literally no authority on that. I suppose it might be a different conversation if they were profiting off of those works, but 99% of people simply want to write for fun which I highly encourage!! I'll be honest that I haven't read a great deal of AUs or headcanons, my exposure to them is mostly via chat messages during lore talk streams or questions that come through regarding the Eyes And Ears AU. As a general rule I try to avoid reading too much of other people's works on the topic because I worry I'll accidentally regurgitate it in some way then stumble into plagiarism, you know? It's why I focus more on digesting stories outside the fandom whether it's manga, Sanderson books, reading old Japanese folk tales and the like. I can source inspiration from those on how to weave narrative and execute plot twists without having to glance in my front yard.

Has fan content (art, theories, animatics, etc.) ever influenced how you think about or approach the AU?

Oh for sure they have. It's literally why after every season we'll do a sit down stream and talk about the lore in detail. Figure out the puzzle and potential trip wires of plot points from the episodes and how we can neatly pack them into the pre-existing story. A lot of people wouldn't do that as they'd be precious about their work and believe their opinion is th only correct one, but I looooove soundboarding with the audience on it. I also take that mindset in game and sometimes think about the scenery of an impactful moment whenever I'm able to control / design it. I'll have little quips or quotes cooked in my mind for how I'd ideally deliver a blow or plot twist, buuuuut given the nature of the Life series you very rarely get to execute things how you'd like haha! I definitely wouldn't have done as many of the poems had their not been such a positive reaction to those. I often see individual lines or entire passages make their way into art pieces as typography or highlighted in animatics which is really gratifying. It's why I also put such an emphasis and priority on audio production in my editing. If I can craft something that feels atmospheric, driving and punctuating with music, staggering vocals or sound effects then the auditory portion is already done, they can focus solely on the visual aspect of things. I try and be as cinematic / TV like as my skillset allows for that reason.

You’ve mentioned trying not to fully canonise the AU, but still referencing it consistently — how do you balance telling your own story effectively, while trying not to involve other creators, particularly on the Life Series, when a lot of your time is spent in a group?

The easiest way to do this, is to not do it. For the most part the only storytelling done with the AU is done in post-production. I never name drop the Watchers or Listeners in world (believe me, I was as surprised as all of you when I saw that Secret Keeper statue in Secret Life!!) and in recent seasons they haven't even reared their head as an influence whatsoever. They're on holiday, they deserve it. But when they do whisper in my ear, they're motivated decisions that I would likely make as a player/character anyway because the win objective is always the thing I'm striving towards. I can just pepper angst around it to make things seem more manipulated rather than selfish ha. I think that's why the open ended nature of the Watchers has served me well because as much as they have a singular motive which is to feed on negative emotions, that can be achieved in so many ways ranging from bloodlust to deception, heartbreak to panic. It's versatile for storytelling. It can be in your face, or a slow burn.

What do the Watchers and Listeners represent to you, symbolically or narratively? Do they serve a specific function in the stories you tell?

The Watchers used to represent the audience when Grian first introduced them, but after departing EVO I've definitely breathed more of an egotistical and sinister air into them. They're very much a unique entity / faction now, they in some ways represent gluttony, selfishness and neglect in achieving their goals. The Listeners on the other hand, are a lot of the opposite traits, but I'm still wanting to explore how being the hard end of most conflicts can be dangerous. I want to explore that at some point, whether it be with infighting or failures. They shouldn't be seen as simply bad/good, they're just, different. It shouldn't be too hard navigating that nuance but I want it to reflect elements and motives that we find in our own lives.

[choshashio]

12 Writing Exercises to help develop your character and their voice.

Editors note - There's a lot of boring writers drivel. So, to spare you from the headache if you're not interested, your characters individual voices and personalities are important for engaging stories and interesting plots. You can skip down to the end for the exercises.

Think about the people you know, the people you love. What's one thing they have in common, besides the obvious? They're all uniquely different. Everyone in the world is different in some way, even in media. Books and movies all have unique sounding characters that are different from each other. In Harry Potter, for example, All of the characters have their own voice, even the Weasley twins are different in their own ways.

Complex and unique characters that sound different, interact and speak differently, make for engaging books and dynamics.

I don't know anybody who would want to read a 50,000 word novel about two boring characters, who're exactly alike, and talk in the same monotonous tone. You can have a character who is "boring." who speaks monotonously and still have an interesting novel that people would read.

Having different characters who come together to create funny, interesting, or weird dynamics makes for a readable piece. Take your monotonous character, by themselves, they're kind of boring. They're not engaging to follow. But, introducing different characters to come and interact with your "boring" character, creates funny and memorable dynamics.

Think the anime Saiki K, or Veronica Sawyer from Heathers. If you took only those two characters, and stripped away all of the background characters, they wouldn't make for very interesting stories. Saiki would be happy, living his days in peace and quiet. Veronica would just be a normal edgy high school girl. But if you bring the side characters back, you bring the story and their conflicts back. Saiki goes back to being annoyed by his weird and goofy friends, wishing for peace and quiet. Veronica goes back to being tormented by JD and the group dynamic in the Heathers clique.

These stories utilize background characters to create conflict in their main characters' lives, and makes fun and interesting stories and dynamics with them.

Without further ado, here are 12 exercises to help you develop your characters, and get you thinking.

Ask your character what they want, and have them monologue about it.

Think about who, in your life, does your character remind you of.

Ask yourself, What does my character want, and what does my character need? How do they conflict with each other, and how does this affect my story?

A good exercise to help you write characters interacting, and practice dialogue is to do the ABCD exercise. 

The ABCD exercise is writing a full page, or 500 words, of dialogue between two characters, character a and character b, talking about what they think character c thinks of character d. Then, write another page depicting how character c actually interacts with character d.

Write journal entries from the pov of your character.

Think about your character's habits, nervous tics, or tells, and write out a page where they do those things.

Think about something your character holds dear to them, and give the item a backstory.

Think about how your character interacts with other characters, and write a page for each interaction. 

Think about a belief or opinion your character has, and write a page of dialogue, where your character is explaining their belief, and why they believe in it, to another character.

Write a page about your character reminiscing, or talking, about a cherished memory from their past, or childhood.

Write a page of dialogue about character a telling character c about character b, whom c has never met before, what kind of things do they say? What do they think of b? Then write another page from character c’s point of view, what are they thinking? How do their thoughts of b change? What do they think of character a? How do they imagine character a and b’s relationship?

Write a page about a character being forced into a situation with their greatest fear. Then, if you want to go a step further, write a page of the same thing, but introduce another character that the first holds dear to them, or wants to protect.

[letjungk09k]

Forgive me, kitten?

Main Masterlist

.ᐟ pairing. ⤑ Sylus x Reader (no use of y/n).

.ᐟ synopsis. ⤑ After a loss in Kitty Cards, Sylus is determined to make it up to you in the most unforgettable way.

.ᐟ word count. ⤑ 6k posted on my ao3

.ᐟ WARNINGS, mdni!!. ⤑ explicit sexual content, porn with plot, soft sylus mixed with dom sylus, light dom/sub play, sylus is WHIPPED for you, fwb kinda situation but unestablished relationship, seduction, clit rubbing, p in v sex, clothed sex, rough sex, unprotected sex, praise kink, dirty talk, size difference, size kink, belly bulge!!, sylus being soft as fuck at the end, use of "kitten" (sorry but i love it).

You were sulking.

You couldn't help it and you knew it was definitely childish of you to do so, but fuck you hated losing. You swore it was rigged, it had to be right? Every time you drew a card you felt like the world was against you. A bad streak, that’s all it was. There was no way you were this unlucky... not that many times in a row.

You had told yourself it was just a fun and light hearted way to pass the time but now? you wish you never agreed to it. You’d tried to keep it cool, tried to brush it off as nothing but the moment the Kitty Card's game had ended you had just snapped. Well, not snapped exactly but you had definitely mentally checked out. Arms crossed tightly over your chest, your lips forming a pout so exaggerated it almost hurt and you had been silent ever since.

You were silent all night, silent up until the moment you made it to your bedroom and angrily changed into your pyjamas. Your home was big enough to walk out your anger but you somehow still felt relentless.

Home.. it wasn't your home, more like a temporary home? Hell, you didn't know. You had regretted agreeing to stay with Sylus in the N109 zone already, despite only being here a month. A month too long...

Speaking of Sylus.

You didn't even want to look in his direction never mind speak to him. The silence in the living room was suffocating before you left and it seemed to drag on longer than it should’ve before the night started. It wasn’t like you hated being with him, that would’ve been easier. No, it was the complexity of your situation that left you conflicted. You didn’t even know what was happening anymore.

One moment, everything had been so simple - you had agreed to stay with him temporarily, just while he tried to convince you to join Onychinus and the next... well. You hadn't planned it, definitely not and you didn't even know how it had happened. 

You'd grown obsessed with him.

He’d made it clear that he wanted you to join Onychinus, but also understood it was a big commitment and he knew that you weren't ready to make that leap, not yet at least. So instead he offered you a place to stay, to show you what your life could be. He never pushed, for that you were grateful and you had to admit life wasn't too bad here in the N109 zone. You felt more at ease that was for sure.

You made a deal with him that first night he offered, that you would stay with him as long as he never let you go bored. As long as he kept you occupied and kept your mind busy. You were used to that, being a deepspace hunter meant you were busy constantly and your mind was never at rest. It was nice to be relaxed, nice not to do so much as you did back in Linkon but sometimes you found yourself too relaxed. Especially as of late.

For the most part Sylus kept his word of never letting you grow bored. He'd spent some days riding his bike around the city with you behind him, giving you a tour almost. Sometimes he'd take you into meetings, there you'd see his real leader side come out, and it was thanks to him that you grew fond of Kitty Cards. Until you weren't, until today.

He also kept you occupied in.. other ways.

One night two weeks ago you were both half a wine glass into your conversation, it had been a long day and you were tired but relaxed and content on the couch... until you grew restless and his lips looked too inviting. 

It was your fault, you knew that. You could blame it on his kindness while you stayed with him, or how gentle he was despite looking the opposite. You could blame it on his smooth voice, the way he was patient with you but you had no one to blame but yourself. You had stared at him for a second too long, a second too long to not even think about what you were doing.

One second you were next to him listening to him talk away about his plans for the week regarding business and the next thing you knew was that your hand was on his unfairly perfect jaw before bringing his lips to yours. It had happened so quickly, and you hadn't meant to kiss him but he had a certain pull to him that you couldn't resist so you acted in the moment.

You didn't imagine that it would go from a simple kiss to something that made you feel so alive. He had questioned you, asked your permission a few times before he was sliding into you and telling you how good you felt. He was determined even in bed, and you swear you've never had sex so good in your life it was addicting. He was addicting.

Everything about him was. His touch, his presence, the way he made you feel alive in ways you had long forgotten and you didn’t regret it, not really.. but you couldn’t help the way your thoughts had gotten tangled up since that night because recently you found yourself in his bed, pinned underneath him while his cock drove in and out of you.

But tonight, he'd pushed you too far.

He knew you hated losing, but even if he didn't he definitely knew now. That stupid smug look that looked really good on his face pissed you off to no end. This was a whole new level of frustration, and it only made you think about how childish you were being but you didn't care. It was embarrassing! How could he be so good, so lucky and you the opposite?

You’d never been great at hiding your emotions and right now, you felt like a sulking child. You could almost hear his voice in your head, the teasing and his stupid victorious tone when he told you I told you I was better as he packed away the cards. You thought you had moved past the competitive part of yourself, that part of you that always needed to win but apparently that was a lie.

You threw your pyjamas on with more force than necessary, the soft fabric feeling too suffocating against your skin before you threw yourself into bed, pulling the cover over your body. Stupid man.

You hadn’t heard him approach your room at first but you sensed him before the door was knocked and creaked open. You had heard a soft sigh, or maybe it was a playful scoff, you couldn't be sure but you were aware of the footsteps moving towards your bed. You tensed slightly, not willing to admit to him how childish you were being.

You were overreacting for sure, but maybe a small part of you wanted his attention.

For a moment, neither of you spoke and you couldn't see him, couldn't see the way he was studying you from behind but you could feel his eyes burning into your back.

Finally his voice broke the silence and his tone had a hint of amusement that you weren't sure you could stomach right now.

"Still sulking, hm?" You rolled your eyes at his tone "You know, I didn’t think that you were the type to hold a grudge, kitten"

Asshole.

You felt the muscles in your back tighten at his words but you kept your eyes fixed firmly ahead, unwilling to give him the satisfaction.

"Shut up.." you muttered and he would have just missed it if he wasn't paying so much attention to you. 

He let out a small laugh, shaking his head before staring at the ground, making his way toward your bed. You heard him move closer, the bed shifting beneath his weight as he settled down behind you and you clenched your jaw, feeling his warmth on your back.

His presence was suffocating but it was also frustratingly intoxicating. Sylus wasn’t the type to back off and he for sure wasn’t the type to leave you in peace either if he knew something was bothering you. 

His hand grazed the edge of the blanket, then it slowly crept toward your side, the lightest touch skimming near your arm. You sucked in a breath at the contact, instantly regretting it. He didn’t need any more encouragement.

"You're cute when you're upset," he murmured, his voice was low as he spoke "But I can’t let you stew in here all alone, kitten"

His fingers brushed the side of your arm, fiddling with the sleeve of your pyjama and you resisted the urge to shudder. 

"You don’t need to be here.."  you replied but even to your own ears it was weak, no fight at all. Your body betrayed you, inching slightly closer to him as if seeking the heat of his presence, even though your mind was still fighting to stay distant.

But Sylus was patient, always patient with you and he had an uncanny way of sensing when you were close to breaking. He didn’t push but he didn’t retreat from you either. His fingers slid just a fraction higher, brushing along your arm in a way that made you feel it everywhere.. beneath your skin, in the pit of your stomach.

He let the silence linger for a moment, savouring the way your breath hitched before his voice was back.

"Tell me kitten, what’s really bothering you?" His breath was hot against your ear, his lips brushing just close enough to your skin "Is it the game, or is it me?"

"It’s nothing.." you said. Liar. You didn’t need him to touch you like this, didn’t need the dangerous heat in his voice but every cell in your body was screaming for him to keep going.

His hand shifted again, moving with deliberate slowness as his fingers slid across your collarbone. He was so so gentle with you.. this big scary Onychinus leader here in your bed and skimming his hands over your skin like you were a delicate piece of art.

"You’re lying," he said softly and his usual smirk was unmistakable in his voice "But you don't have to tell me... I can figure it out on my own"

He moved slightly behind you, close enough that you could feel the warmth of his body pressed to your back, just inches from your skin. The temptation to lean into him, to let him pull you into him was overwhelming but you stayed still, fighting against it even though every part of you screamed to give in.

His hand slowly slipped over your shoulder, his fingers skating across the edge of your skin just grazing the side of your neck. 

"I think you’re just angry that you lost," he said, his words were teasing you as much as his hands were "But maybe.. maybe I can make it up to you"

You didn’t respond, you couldn’t. Your heart was racing and your body was betraying every instinct to stay in control. He knew exactly what he was doing, how to play with you, how to make you feel both frustrated and desperate for him at the same time. His lips hovered just above the soft curve of your neck and you felt the warmth of his breath.

"Let me make you forget," he whispered "Forget the game. Forget everything except... this. Us"

Your pulse quickened, your body trembling ever so slightly but you couldn’t help it. His presence, his touch, the heat radiating off of him it was too much. You were fighting against it but with every subtle movement, with every teasing caress, Sylus was making it harder and harder to resist.

His lips left a small kiss on your neck before his chest was fully against your back. His hand had reached your waist and you were aware of every second passing as it slipped lower and lower, beneath the blanket before his middle finger grazed the top of your shorts. Fuck him and his smooth talking.

You couldn’t help it. Your breath caught in your throat, a soft gasp slipping out before you could stop it. It was the slightest of sounds but it was enough, enough to make him pause, to make him smile against your skin knowing that you were crumbling.

"You’re not as good at pretending as you think kitten," he murmured, his lips brushing over your ear once more as his breath made your skin tingle "You want this. Don’t you?"

Yes. You did, so deliciously so.

"Sylus.."

His hand was between your legs before you knew it and he smiled against you as you gasped. His middle finger instantly on your clit and your own hand found its way to his wrist holding him there and you couldn’t stop the shiver that wracked your body.

He moved slowly at first, like he was mindlessly drawing circles on your skin but nothing about this was mindless. No, he knew what he was doing, he knew how to touch you right and he knew how to get under your skin. If he really wanted to you'd let him peel you apart just so he could crawl inside you.

You whimpered as he sped up, hips bucking involuntarily against his hand despite your best efforts to stay composed. You heard a hum of approval next to your ear before his teeth were attacking your lobe, your neck, your shoulder just anything he could reach and the feeling was overwhelming.

You gasped again when his fingers pressed just a little harder against you, more slick escaping you and no doubt ruining your shorts and thank god you had decided not to wear panties tonight.

"That’s it sweetheart," he whispered, his voice almost too soft to handle "Just let me take care of you"

You tried to shift your hips, seeking more from him but he tutted against your ear as if warning you not to do anything and now you were completely at his mercy. You whimpered in frustration and the low, wicked chuckle he gave in response made your stomach twist.

"Sylus, please.."

His fingers sped up at your plea and your mouth dropped open, your walls tightening around nothing as your clit gained all his attention. He pressed a firmer circle against you and your hands fisted the blankets desperately as your body bowed back into him, helpless against the way he was pulling you apart with such devastating ease.

His fingers moved in relentless circles now, keeping you teetering right at the edge of your orgasm and it was shameless how quickly you were almost there, how much power he had over your body in this moment. His other hand shifted underneath you, pushing in between the bed and your body before it slithered up and gripped your chin.

He twisted your head towards him, eyes meeting your own and he smiled at the dazed look on your face knowing it was him doing this to you.

"You don't even know how beautiful you are like this," he murmured, ruby eyes glancing down to your parted lips "So responsive... so perfect"

He pressed harder, quickened his pace and you were twitching now. The way he was holding you against him, your smaller frame at his mercy and the way his eyes were watching you like he was in a trance combined with how his hand was relentless against your clit.. it was too much for you to bear, too much for you to even function a thought never mind words.

You arched into him, seeking him out and needing more and the sight made him groan. You could do nothing but take it, grip his wrist tighter as his fingers burned against you. More Sylus, give me more...

You squeezed your eyes shut, fighting the burning in your throat and the overwhelming need curling tight in your chest. 

He was rubbing you with two fingers now and hissed at the feeling of you digging your nails into his wrist. He could tell you were close, from the way you twitching against him, the wetter his fingers got fuck you were a dream and he was utterly obsessed with you.

"I-Fuck I'm.." you couldn't even muster a sentence and you shifted your hips slightly.

His fingers were relentless now. Rubbing tight, merciless circles over your clit until your thighs were shaking, until you were clawing at the sheets before your whole body went tense as you finally met your end and thank god he decided not to edge you.

He held you tightly as you came, his fingers speeding up and helping you ride out a mind shattering orgasm, an orgasm that your own fingers could never bring. He pushed his head against yours, forehead meeting your cheek and he was panting against your skin, his wrist beginning to burn from his pace but there would be nothing that could stop him.

No matter how many times you shared moments like this, you'd never grow tired of the feeling of his fingers on you. Even now when your thighs were closed tightly against him, even as they slowed down their pace as you grew overstimulated.

You shivered against him, your body easing into his warmth and you opened your eyes to look at him. 

Sylus shifted behind you, his chest still pressed against your back, the rise and fall of his breathing slowly syncing with yours. You could feel his fingertips as they brushed down from your chin and over your neck, the gentle touch a contrast to the intensity of moments before. His movements were lazy now but they were deliberate in being tender with you.

"Hey," he whispered softly, your thighs still holding one of his hands hostage "You okay?"

You couldn't help but laugh slightly.

"Yeah.. Yeah I'm fine," you told him, grinning tiredly "I might have to let you beat me in Kitty Cards more often if this is my consolation.."

Sylus huffed a laugh, forehead pressing against yours.

"Yeah?" he replied, kissing your jaw, your cheek and finally your shoulder "If this is my reward kitten, you can lose every damn time"

"Although, I think.." you shifted again, feeling the hardness of his cock against your back. Your nose brushed against his, lips dangerously close to his own "I think you still have some making up to do"

"Is that so?" His gaze flickered down to your lips before meeting your eyes again.

"Mmhm," you murmured, his cock twitched at the softness in your voice but your eyes.. the way they were pleading at him had his heart beating out his chest "You're not off the hook just yet"

"Fuck, kitten.." his fingers rubbed against your clit lazily and you whimpered at the feeling, still too sensitive but you had no thoughts of stopping him "You don’t even realize what you do to me"

He was moving before you knew it, hand shifting from between the warmth of your thighs and he lay you down on your back, hovering over you with that familiar hunger in his eyes.

His hands were rough now, tearing the blanket away from your body and gripping your thighs to yank them apart like he couldn’t get enough of you and you let him, no resistance left, nothing but surrender and you couldn't help but smile up at him.

His lips met yours, gently at first as he savoured the taste of you and you let out a soft sigh, body responding to the warmth of his touch and annoyingly how perfect his lips fitted against your own. It didn't stay gentle for long, and the slow movements of his lips against yours turned rough, they turned desperate.

He moved over you further, body pressing down into you and rolling his hips over yours. He ensured that there was no space left between you and you were grateful for that, not wanting to be a centimetre away from him. The heat between you escalated and your breath caught, heart racing as his kiss grew more urgent, his tongue teasing at the seam of your lips demanding entry.

You couldn’t help but give in, opening your mouth and welcoming him in and of course his taste was intoxicating, it always was. You couldn't get enough of him, he could tell from how you eagerly responded to him, hands finding his shoulders, nails scratching his neck and any bit of skin you could get your hands on.

His lips left yours, trailing down your jaw, over your neck, his teeth grazing your skin in a way that made your breath catch. Every touch felt like fire and you wanted more, you needed more. 

Your head fell back against the pillow, exposing more of your skin to him. His hands slid to your waist, pulling you closer and your bodies were glued together, feeling everything. You could feel the hard press of his cock against your pussy, you felt his muscles against yours and it made you ache inside.

Your fingers threaded through his hair, tugging him up to meet your lips again. This kiss was desperate, it was as though you were both trying to consume each other whole and you wanted nothing more than that. He smiled against your lips, fingers skimming over the curve of your waist and up to your chest, pinching your nipples through your shirt and you whined against him. 

"Can't.. hm-can't wait anymore," your words were muffled and drowned out by his lips, he seemed to refuse to move them away from yours and as much as you weren't going to complain you needed him to do something "Need you, Sylus.. please"

A rough growl tore from his chest and his hands were off you in a second, rushing down to his waist before fiddling with his belt. You peppered his neck with kisses as he fought against his clothes, the leather around his waist proving to be a challenge and it was annoying him how much his hands were shaking from being here, from being here with you.

He cursed under his breath, still struggling and his cock twitched again when he heard you giggle against his neck.

"Sweetheart-"

"You strugglin, baby?"

He swore he could have came just from that, the weight of your words.. teasing him, calling him baby as your lips that he loved so much painted his neck in bruises but you made no move to help him.

He was beginning to ache and he had no idea why his belt was fighting so much against him when all he wanted was to be inside you, to please you like he always tried to do even out of the bedroom. He wanted to make you the happiest you had ever been, not just so you'd join Onychinus but so you'd stay here, with him.

Your hands distracted him as they pushed against his chest, making him lean back until he was kneeling on the bed and you were now sat up in front of him. His face was flushed, cheeks red with his hands falling away from his belt as he stared at you, the gentle smile you sent his way warmed his heart.

His face flushed deeper as he watched you, heart pounding in his chest. There was something about your smile, that warmth in your eyes that made him feel both exposed and wanted. He wasn't used to being this vulnerable, especially not with someone he cared about so much.

"You're beautiful, you know that?" he murmured, his voice rougher than he meant.

The rawness of it caught him (and you) off guard but it was the truth. Every inch of you, every little detail that made you who you were and he hadn’t realized just how much he needed to say it until now, until this moment when his heart was so loud in his chest that he thought it might burst.

His eyes drifted down to your lips, your skin, the soft curve of your neck where he had left marks only moments before.

"Is that part of you making it up to me?" you whispered and he chuckled, shaking his head.

His hands reached out, holding your face gently before he leant in, kissing your lips  with a tender care that took your breath away.

"No just.. needed you to know sweetheart," he smiled then, pecking your lips once more before sighing against you "I am going to need your help with my belt though"

You couldn’t help but smile brightly at his words, leaning in to kiss him again. Your hands moved to his belt as you kissed him, unbuckling it slowly and moaning lightly against his lips. Sylus let out a soft groan as he felt the leather loosen, your small fingers moving the buttons of his trousers and he didn't give you a second to think before he was pushing you back down on the bed.

His hips rolled into yours and you both sighed at the feeling. His trousers were pushed down, resting in the middle of his thighs before you made quick work of pushing his boxers down to free his cock. It slapped his stomach after being released and he bit your bottom lip gently at the feeling, the head was pumping with adrenaline and desperate need to be inside you.

It seemed like you wanted the same thing, and you didn't let him or you get undressed. Your hand was wrapped around his cock before he knew it, giving him a few pumps before moving your shorts to the side and exposing your slick pussy to him.

It was a sight to see.. you in your pyjamas still, shorts pushed to the side while Sylus was also still dressed above you. Trousers and boxers resting on his thighs just enough to free his cock, hands all over you as you lined him up to your entrance.

He was pushing into you bit by bit, the stretch of him inside you felt amazing and it always did. You remember it was a struggle the first time he fucked you, but now your body was growing used to him. It still felt good though, the way he stretched you out the further he sank inside you and when he was fully inside you you had never felt so full.

He rested inside you for a moment, feeling the way he fit perfectly inside you, like you were made for him.

"Sy-"

Your words were cut off with a gasp as he thrusted hard, the wind being knocked from you as he snapped his hips forward. He pulled out once more before burying himself back inside you and you cried out from the feeling, nails digging into his skin and he groaned from the feeling of it.

You tried, you really tried to hold yourself together but it was useless.

Sylus was thrusting into you like his life depended on it, like the speed and roughness of his thrusts were crucial for him to breathe. There were no complaints from you...

Your breasts shifted under your shirt each time he thrusted and he watched carefully, one hand coming up to grip one of your nipples and you whimpered against him.

"C-Can't... fuck-you feel so good" his other hand was fisted in the sheets beside your head as he continued his thrusts and your ears perked up at the way he was whining against you "So good to me.. s'good sweetheart"

His voice broke into a groan when you clenched around him, his hips stuttering before he drove himself even deeper, grinding against you so hard you could feel the tremble in his thighs.

You could feel him in your stomach, the tip of him pushing against your insides and you knew if you looked down you'd see him there. Your stomach bulged out from the sheer size of him and you moaned when he rocked into you faster, forehead pressing against yours.

Sylus’ pace stuttered slightly, his breath coming in broken pants as he tried to slow down but your body squeezed him tighter, encouraging him to keep going. You felt the weight of his hips pressing down on yours, sending shocks of pleasure through your every nerve.

You arched up into him breathless, eyes half lidded as you moaned his name like a prayer.

"Sylus... please... harder"

His entire body tensed above you and without warning, his thrusts became erratic and frantic. He wasn't even sure if he could go harder but when you pulled his hair from a series of thrusts he did he knew he was doing what was asked. He'd do anything you asked.

His thrusts were fast and brutal and you could hear the wet, filthy sounds of him moving inside you, the bed creaking under the desperation of his pace. He was trembling, full body shaking above you and still, still he couldn't stop.. like the idea of pulling away from you would kill him on the spot.

He kissed you then, desperate and sloppy with teeth clashing against each other as you were both breathing so hard it felt like he was going to break apart and when you moaned into his mouth, he groaned so loud it vibrated against your ribs.

"I need-" he rasped, lips ghosting over your jaw "need to give you everything, baby.. need you to take it, need you to let me.. give it please"

The way he begged against your skin, the pure desperation in his voice made your entire body tighten around him and he felt it, he cried out against your throat as he drove into you harder, like he was pouring every piece of himself into you.

You moved against him instinctively, your body searching for that sweet friction that would finally bring relief. Sylus’ eyes locked with yours and in that moment, you saw the raw intensity reflected back at you.

"Can feel you, Sylus.." you held the top of his hand that was on your breast, moving it down your body and to your stomach and he felt the way that he was pushing your stomach up with each thrust.

Fuck.

"You’re-" a harsh grunt tore from him when your nails raked down his back "fuck, you're perfect... so perfect, made for me, made just for me"

His hand found your face, thumb stroking your cheek in a shaky motion while the other hand stayed on your stomach, pushing against his cock inside you and the whine that poured from your lips had him second guessing the thought of kissing you. He wanted to hear you, needed to hear you, needed to hear the sweet sounds fall from your mouth as he fucked you.

Your legs wrapped around his waist, urging him deeper and his groan echoed through the room.

"Sylus," Your voice broke as the tension inside you coiled tighter, your chest heaving with each breath "I’m... I’m so close..."

He was moving like a man starved at this point, like the rough speed of his thrusts was the only thing keeping him alive. Your walls clenched around him even tighter and he almost sobbed against your skin, burying his head into your neck and his thrusts grew messier, less coordinated. He was falling apart inside you and it only made you cling to him harder.

"Yeah, that's it," he rasped against your ear, his thrusts growing just the tiniest bit deeper and dragging through your soaked cunt like he was savouring it. He felt you grow tighter and tighter around him "That's it.. just like that. My sweet sweet girl..."

The words spilled from him like a confession and you couldn’t stop the whimper that escaped your throat as his rhythm grew wild, more desperate. 

You were gone. You could barely breathe, barely think, reduced to soft whines and gasps as he fucked you fast and deep, like he was determined to melt you down until there was nothing left but the feeling of him inside you.

The way his body moved against yours, the rhythmic grind of his hips, the feel of his hands on you, pushing against the bulge in your stomach it all blurred together into one single, intoxicating movement. He was pulling more from you than you knew you could give but you couldn’t stop, couldn’t hold back. You wanted him, needed him to fill you completely.

"Don't stop-god please don't stop.."

"Cum for me, sweetheart"

And you did, you shattered around him with a broken cry, clinging to him like you were drowning and he was the only thing keeping you afloat. Your body convulsed around him, squeezing him so tight that he swore viciously against your neck. You were completely lost to him, your mind clouded by the overwhelming pleasure.

Your whole body was twitching underneath him and when your nails raked down his back under his shirt he found himself spilling inside you with a low groan, face pushing against your throat like he needed to hide his vulnerability away from you in that moment but he knew he shouldn't, he knew he should never hide from you.

For a moment neither of you moved, the two of you pressed together, breathing heavy and laboured. Sylus was still nested deep inside you, his body weight settling gently against yours as if unwilling to pull away and it felt as though the world outside no longer existed.

Sylus kissed your neck, then moved up to your cheek and finally met your lips, each kiss gentle compared to the rough thrusts he just delivered and you had to pull away to catch your breath.

"Wow.." you found yourself saying, earning a quiet chuckle from the man above you.

"Wow," he repeated, smiling down at you and brushing his thumb against your cheek "Am I forgiven now, kitten?"

You couldn't help but laugh, truly laugh at his response and the movement made his cock shift inside you, softening now. You looked like a dream beneath him, hair spread out on the pillow, cheeks flushed and lips red from where he had kissed you. If he could frame this moment, he would.

"I'm considering it.." your tone was softer now, hand coming up and brushing away the hair that stuck to his forehead as you stared at him "You're beautiful, Sylus"

His breath caught in his chest. Beautiful? The word felt foreign when attached to him but hearing it from you, with that softness in your voice, made his chest tighten. He swallowed hard, unsure of what to say.

His gaze dropped for a brief moment, his eyes flicking over the way your body was still pressed under his, the way you had opened up to him, both physically and emotionally. There was no pretending, no facades between the two of you right now and it felt real. The fact that you found him beautiful.. well, it made something inside him soften in a way he hadn’t expected. 

Sylus finally let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding and he lowered his head, resting it lightly against your shoulder, he couldn’t help but let his guard down a little more.

"You're..." He paused, gathering his thoughts and then he chuckled softly "You're something else, kitten"

His hand came up, blindly brushing your hair back from your face, his thumb tracing the line of your jaw and you let him. If this moment right here was a special perk of staying in the N109 zone, then you'd take up his offer of joining Onychinus any day. 

And maybe, just maybe.. you should let him beat you in Kitty Cards more often.

[sungchanphile]

way back home ❆ park sunghoon

⋆⁺₊❅. WORD COUNT: 22.4k ⋆⁺₊❅. PAIRING: enhypen's park sunghoon x female!reader ⋆⁺₊❅. TAGS & WARNINGS: figure skating!au, skater!sunghoon, skater!reader, enemies to lovers!au, ex bsf!au, kind of second chance romance!au, a lot of fluff, a little smidge of angst, a dash of fake dating blink and you'll miss, you used to stake for korea (more abt nationality than ethnicity), some inner conflict, burnout themes, tbz eric as a plot device oops, some heated making out

⋆⁺₊❅. SYNOPSIS: at the age of 5, you thought that you had made a life-long friend in park sunghoon. at the age of 16, you found out that life-long meant 11 years before you decided he was going to be your life-long enemy. but at 21, you're confronted with your past together as your figure skating coach decides to move back home to where you used to skate together after almost 6 years away abroad.

⋆⁺₊❅. NOTES: i've been attempting to write a hoonie ice skating fic for years and years since ice skating has been one of my big interests (watching, not doing) even before enha debuted- that contributed to the fact that hoon was my first bias. it's finally come to fruition and the wc just kept getting longer and longer- hope it's not too boring! i just wanted to write some mostly cute fluffy skater hoon!!

⋆꙳•❅*°⋆❆.ೃ࿔*:･*❆ ₊⋆

At the age of 5, you thought that you had made a life-long friend in Park Sunghoon. At the age of 16, you found out that life-long meant 11 years before you decided he was going to be your life-long enemy. You meant it this time, you had told yourself in the mirror of the rink's female bathroom while your hands were gripping the sides of the sink so hard that your knuckles were turning white.

Since that moment that led you to stomping out of the rink while still wearing your skates (thankfully with the guards on) all the way home, you've seen Park Sunghoon a total of 3 times. You're 21 now, but every time you think back to that moment of your falling out, the dull ache lingering in your heart still explodes into a fireball and you have to remind yourself that you'll never let him hurt you the same again.

Your body is set aflame as the president of the ISU gestures with his arms in front of a sold-out crowd for you to skate towards him for the photographers to grab a shot. You're no stranger to pictures with President Kim, but he's also beckoning over the newly crowned 2023-2024 Grand Prix Final Men's champion in Park Sunghoon.

"Aw, my two favourites," Mr. Kim coos as he wraps an arm around each of your shoulders' and grins to the camera, "I always knew it was only a matter of time before I would have two Korean skaters at the top again."

You groan internally at the consequences of being in the same frame as Park Sunghoon. Ever since one of your former classmates anonymously shared to a huge figure skating fan account that you and Sunghoon used to be best friends, you've been receiving demands to share stories about each other, not knowing your current relationship. Well, they must know from the fact that you two don't even follow each other on Instagram. On the flip side, you've also amassed unfathomable hate from his crazy, obsessed fans to stay away. There's always those people.

You paid no mind to them anyway, since being near Park Sunghoon voluntarily was the last thing on your wish list.

Sunghoon keeps the fake smile plastered on his face but snarks out through his teeth, "She doesn't skate for our country anymore. She hasn't in 5 years."

Mr. Kim chortles as if he believed Sunghoon's words to just be banter, "Don't be so unwelcoming, Sunghoon. Y/N is still part of our family."

You held back a scoff, letting out a sigh instead when the photographer finally turned his attention away from the three of you, "Mr President, don't you think you should root for all countries? You're no longer just the president of the Korean Skating Union."

He laughs obliviously, "I know, I know. I guess I should. I love my country of course, but I'll always cheer for you too Y/N. You broke all of our hearts when you switched nationalities."

You refuse to turn your head to your former acquaintance who makes a sound crossed between a scoff and a pained laugh, "Yeah, she sure did. Goodbye, Mr. Kim." Sunghoon bows his body completely at a right angle, pressing the bouquet of flowers he was holding for his win up to his chest before skating away without another glance at you.

Mr. Kim looks at you sheepishly, "You guys are still not on good terms?"

"I don't think we ever will be," you subtly roll your eyes at the hostility from Sunghoon, "I'm sorry he's like that."

"It wasn't all that long ago that you would race each other around the rink at junior nationals after the gala would end," he reminisces fondly, "It would be such a shame for you to have to look back on your friendship with regret."

"The damage is done, Sir," you tap your blade repeatedly on the ice to distract yourself from the pain you felt every time you thought about your friendship, "I hope to see you here again next year."

"Congratulations on your win, my dear," he smiles graciously and lets you skate away after bowing goodbye.

While you were ecstatic about winning your second Grand Prix Final gold medal in a row, you were also happy to share the podium with two friends that you have gotten close and closer to as you spent more time on the circuit. You glided back towards them as they took selfies with their flowers and their medals, trying to ignore the burning feeling on your back as if someone was looking at you from afar.

⋆꙳•❅*°⋆❆.ೃ࿔*:･*❆ ₊⋆

You liked to limit your interaction with Park Sunghoon to seeing him from afar once a year at the exhibition gala of the grand prix final or world's. It's only been two years that he's made the final, but you enjoyed another two without his villainous aura before that. Whatever deity you believed in had blessed you for the past 5 years; you hadn't been seeded to a single assignment with him through the seasons. There was definitely a force trying to keep you apart for the greater good of peace. You definitely took it as a sign that he wasn't meant to be back in your life anyway.

You thought that you had filled your quota this year with that little interaction with the president. You thought that you were finally in the clear for another year and you could move on with your life again without this god-awful memory weighing down on your chest every time you were in the same vicinity as him.

But Park Sunghoon stands before you, or more like crouches, as he tries to get a cola lollipop from the machine in the arcade of the hotel. It's not even been 24 hours since you last saw him.

When you spot him on the floor, you immediately turn on your heel to flee without being noticed. He has other plans, it seems.

"Did you know that you stomp like an elephant? For a figure skater, you're not very elegant on normal floors," Sunghoon doesn't take his eyes off the machine, watching as the conveyor belt trying to capture a lollipop turned and turned.

"Eat my ass, Park," you snipe back.

An amused smirk forms on his face as he turns his chin towards you, "Who knew you'd grow up so vulgar? That's quite unbecoming of you, Y/N."

"Don't say my name," you grunt, looking around for someone you know so you could exit this interaction, "In fact, don't even talk to me."

"As if you're the one who should be hurt. You moved continents and changed nationalities without a word," he scoffs, standing up and unwrapping the cola lollipop he had finally acquired, "Moving training locations, fine. But changing nationalities and not even warning your friends?"

If cartoon effects were real, there would be smoke coming out of your ears. You ball your fists tight and keep them glued to your side, "You were the one who broke my heart."

Sunghoon furrows his thick eyebrows together, halting the way he was moving the sweet between his lips. He takes it out and lets out an exasperated sound, "You never let me explai-"

You raise a hand to his face, "Save the bullshit, Park."

As much as a part of you wants to hear what he has to say, it still feels like the wound he inflected 5 years ago opens up anytime you hear his voice. All you could think about was that moment on the ice and the words he said that were sharper than his blades enough to cut deep into your heart. Honestly, you've tried to forgive him, or at least forget, but meeting his eyes now- you want to just run.

There's no longer any amusement in his expression, just frustration. You're satisfied with this, lunging forward to grab an unwrapped orange lollipop from his hand and walking away before he could register what you said or did.

You're breathing heavy; you hadn't let him affect you this way in years, but the anger is rising and the pain is overflowing out of the tiny box you kept it in and stored in the back of your heart. You sort of wish he'd run after you, grab your wrist and call your name, but you know that if you turn around right now, he'd still be in the same position.

It's been 5 years since you spoke to him, nearly 1 since you last saw him at the exhibition gala at the last World's. You don't intend to make a habit of Park Sunghoon again.

⋆꙳•❅*°⋆❆.ೃ࿔*:･*❆ ₊⋆

Your best friend Chaehyun twizzles around you in what you think is the shape of a heart. She's been trying out fun tricks to go along with the new go-pro that her coach bought for monitoring her training. It flies above the two of you with a prominent buzz that you've learned to tune out. You're standing in the middle of the rink, looking up and visualising the crowd you'll face tomorrow when you start the competition.

"Excited? Nervous?" Chaehyun's voice is naturally sing-songy but it vibrates as she moves at lightning speed around you.

"The same," your breath condenses into a cloud in front of you, "Just getting bored, a bit."

"Yeah, must be boring winning gold every single year for the past 4 years," Chaehyun snides, but not unkindly, "Do me a favour and fall on your axel tomorrow? I wouldn't mind having a world's medal."

"I would, but," you trail off and follow her with your eyes, "I want to go out with a bang."

Chaehyun immediately comes to a stop and rushes over to you, "What? What did you say?"

"I don't know if I should retire at the end of this season," you admit gingerly, gnawing on your bottom lip, "I'm just kind of exhausted."

Chaehyun gives you a weary look, "This doesn't have anything to do with seeing Sunghoon again in Beijing right?"

Your eyes widen at the mention of his name, "Chae, what? No! Why would it be?"

"Well, you cried all night after seeing him in the hotel," she reminded you, "And your coach wants to move back to Korea again."

"She does and I don't want to have to switch coaches. She's been with me since I was a junior, but I really can't move back to Seoul again," you tell her, "It's partly because of Sunghoon; all the memories would just hurt me over and over again the second I step foot in the country. Other than that, I've built a life on this side of the world."

Chaehyun scoffs at you, "Built a life? Your family is still in Korea and me, your best friend, is too. Your parents are getting older and you make them fly out to you every occasion. You shouldn't let Sunghoon dictate your life like this. You literally told me that you want an Olympic gold."

Your memories flash back to August, when you were vacationing with your best friend and drinking margaritas by the seaside, "2026 is really far away."

She gives you a strong side eye, "We can talk about this over dinner. You're literally the best female skater right now; you can't just retire at 21!"

"Alysa Liu retired at 16," you mumble.

Chaehyun smirks vindictively, "And Alysa Liu just announced her return at 19. Look, take a break, do what you need, but please don't give up on your dream so early."

Before you could say another word, a voice echoes in the arena, "Hey, it's our turn to practice."

Both of your heads whip around to the tunnel, where a few tall figures came into the light. Your head moves to the sudden movement of your coach, beckoning you to come off the ice after the end of the senior women's practice. You had wondered why there was no one kicking you off after your slot had finished.

"Heeseung," you grin at the sight of the cherry-haired boy, skating over to him and ignoring the presence of one ex-best friend beside him, "I haven't seen you in forever."

You clasp the boards tightly, swinging the gate open and sliding the guards over your skates. Heeseung is 3, 2, 1 step away from you and he takes you into a warm hug.

"I know," he coos into your hair, "It's a shame that Sunoo got injured and had to withdraw, but here I am in his place!"

You had known Heeseung nearly as long as you knew the boy beside him. When you and Sunghoon joined your skating club, Heeseung had been there for a year already. Through the years, he grew into a sort of older brother figure for the both of you and you never lost contact with him. The past season, he had been struggling with an injury and took off time to heal, but he recovered in time for nationals and placed 4th. Sunghoon had won the gold, Sunoo the silver and Jungwon the bronze. As Sunoo fell victim to an injury in practice in between nationals and World's, Heeseung had been invited to fill the country's berth at the championships.

In the middle of your conversation with Heeseung, you notice Sunghoon stalk away behind you to step onto the rink. You hear him greet Chaehyun happily as he passed by.

"I heard you might be moving back to Korea," Heeseung mumbles lowly under his breath.

"How do you know that?" you furrow your eyebrows at him. Had he overheard you? Did Sunghoon overhear too?

Heeseung shakes his head, his bangs falling into his eyes, "Our coaches used to be partners, remember?"

You flick your gaze to your coach, who was happily catching up with her ex-pairs skating partner of nearly 2 decades. They used to coach at the same rink, but when your coach fancied a change of scenery and was offered a role she couldn't turn down, you followed her across the world. Of course she couldn't keep a secret from her very best friend despite you begging her not to tell anyone yet.

"Does Sunghoon know?" Thankfully, Sunghoon's coach was different and not very close to your coach as Heeseung's coach is.

Heeseung denies this again, "I wanted to talk to you first. What's up with that?"

"Taeyeon's missing home and she feels like she's learned all she could have from head coach," you sigh, "I miss home too, but I don't really want to move. I also think I might take a break for a season instead; I'm feeling burnt out."

5 years ago, your coach was offered to be mentored by the most successful coach in the world of figure skating. While you trusted her already with your life, you both agreed that being under a 2x Olympic winning coach would be beneficial, so you didn't hesitate packing your bags despite the distance it put between your home and your family.

Heeseung looks at you with sincere empathy, wrapping you up again in his arms, "I'm sorry you're feeling that way. Have you spoken to your coach about it?"

"Kind-of. She's going to take on more students when she moves back home so she won't suffer in that regard and she said if I do follow her, I can help coach and maybe get a certificate," you nod, plonking your face straight into his chest, "I don't know what to do, Heeseung."

"I'm not very good at giving pep talks or advice, but I trust you'll make the decision that's best for you," Heeseung murmurs, "Just follow your heart, I guess. Wherever your heart is being pulled to, there must be a reason."

"Hey! You're wasting time!" a sharp, deep voice resonates behind you, causing you to turn your head to watch Sunghoon glaring at the two of you like you just sabotaged Heeseung's career keeping him at the sideline.

"I'll be there in a sec, Hoon," Heeseung remains calm, knowing that his best friend always gets in a mood whenever you're around or you're mentioned near him. He turns back to you, "Are you busy? Do you want to watch us practise?"

To the side of you, Chaehyun is hunching over an iPad with her coach, deep in monitoring. Your coach waves your own device at you when you catch her eye.

"I guess we can monitor here," you tell him reluctantly, to which he smiles, "But if he says anything, let me know so I can leave. I don't want to deal with him right now."

Heeseung squeezes your shoulders and moves past you to reach the gate. Still unsure if you were making the right decision by staying when Sunghoon was under the same room, you make your way gingerly to your coach.

"What a lovely reunion," Taeyeon exhales happily, "Kibum's pretending he's not overjoyed I'm moving back to Seoul."

Kibum is standing shoulder to shoulder at the edge of the rink with Junho, Sunghoon's coach, and they chat animatedly while the boys warm up.

"That's nice," you mumble, fiddling with the iPad to get up your practice run.

Taeyeon continues beside you, "I think you should make up with Sunghoon if you're going to move back home. It'll just be a better atmosphere in the rink."

"I don't know if I will go back," you remind her, "And what's wrong with the atmosphere? We're not affecting anyone."

Your coach lets out the most dramatic scoff you think has ever been produced, "Y/N, sweetheart. The freaking glare that Sunghoon was giving you and Heeseung when you were talking and hugging could have evaporated all the ice in this building. I was scared and he wasn't even looking at me!"

Your eyes dart to him on the ice, slowly speeding up his camel spin. You get that he didn't like you, but what reason did he have for glaring at you when you weren't even looking his way? Unprofessional, you thought to yourself.

"That's his problem, not mine," you jeer, "Can we review?"

Taeyeon giggles at your attitude, "Okay, feisty. Look, all I'm saying is that I watched the two of you grow up together. You had such a special bond and yeah, 5 years is a long time to not be friends from your point right now, but when you're older, that's not gonna be anything if you make up now."

"It's not my choice, Taeyeon," you tap your fingers against the glass screen, "I really hate talking about this."

"One day I'll get it out of you what happened when you fell out," Taeyeon hums off-handedly, "Okay, monitoring. Your spins were great, but you were a bit wobbly on the-"

Despite being the one to encourage focus, you begin to tune her out when you notice in the corner of your eye that Sunghoon was warming up his jumps. You watch him breathe deeply and the way he keeps his eyes up and on the ice to visualise the jump he was going to do. You can't take your eyes off him as he takes off and you hold your breath watching him rotate so quickly in the air. The breath only escapes when his blade collides with the ice and he lands the quad lutz perfectly.

It takes you back to when you were 16 and he was struggling so hard to land this exact jump- one that even Heeseung was yet to master. You remember him falling over and over and over again, training it into the late hours of the evening when you were supposed to be at home and resting. You remember him kicking up ice with his blades in frustration, on the verge of giving up. You remember cooing a pep talk into his ear until he was motivated enough to try again for the last time and finally land it in your presence.

"Y/N," Taeyeon snaps in your ear, "You're actually a walking oxymoron."

"I may dislike him, but I never said he's a bad skater. If there's a good jump about to happen in front of me, I wouldn't ignore it," you fight back, "Okay, sorry, sorry. Focus."

"I'm getting dinner tonight with Kibum and Junho," she tells you suddenly, "Do you want me to not talk about moving back? In case Junho says anything to Sunghoon?"

You let your eyes flutter close as your head spins with all the decisions you had to make soon. Sometimes, you have no idea where you were going next or what event you're training for. It's times like those that you're desperate for the world to freeze at your command.

"I just need some time to think before I make any decisions."

⋆꙳•❅*°⋆❆.ೃ࿔*:･*❆ ₊⋆

You don't know where it all went wrong, to be honest. It probably started with the gold medal hanging around your neck and the hundreds of pairs of eyes peering up at you with their hands typing at the speed of lightning on their computers.

The journalist chosen to ask the next question has these sharp, inquisitive eyes.

"Your former nation, the Korean Skating Union has just published their congratulations on your gold medal and celebrating the return of coach Lee Taeyeon to Taereung National Training Center."

Your world stops and even the flashes don't affect your eyes anymore. You'll probably see these photos of you from the press conference all over figure skating twitter in a few minutes. Peripherally, you see Taeyeon's face contort into true horror as she scrambles to the mic.

"How is this going to affect your training? Are you relocating back to Korea with your coach?" the journalist finished up with a smile, as if she didn't just drop the biggest bomb with no warning. You guess it's not her fault; the KSU had spoiled the news too early.

In the grand scheme of things, it doesn't matter much. Skaters move locations and change coaches frequently; you'd done it once already. The only problem is you haven't told your family just yet... or Sunghoon, who still trained at Taereung with Heeseung and Chaehyun.

"We don't have any comments on that question as of now," Taeyeon pressed her lips together in a tense half-smile and motions for them to choose the next question.

You haven't moved since the question was asked, palms gripping the gold medal around your neck tightly. You don't remember answering many more questions actually and the next thing you know, you're sitting at the end of your hotel bed still in your national team tracksuit.

A rapid knocking begins at your door.

It takes you a few seconds to compose yourself and trudge over, but you sigh in relief when you see it's Chaehyun through the peephole.

"Chae, I'm so glad you're here," you exhale as you unlock the latches and open the door.

She gives you the most painful puppy dog eyes you've ever seen, "I'm so sorry."

"About what?"

Your heart stops again when Park Sunghoon steps into view from where he was hidden from the peephole. Immediately, your instinct is to close the door on both of them, but Sunghoon is quick to wedge his foot where the door is about to slam.

"Shit, shit, that hurts. I fucking have free skate tomorrow," Sunghoon curses under his breath with a hiss.

"I'm sorry, he's really convincing," Chaehyun tries to plead as you give her menacing looks.

Sunghoon crosses his arm and scoffs, still keeping his foot between the door and the frame, "All I asked was where her room was and you came up with the plan of pretending it was just you."

Chaehyun flushes pale and she pinches his arm, "Shut up! You said you wouldn't say!"

"Whatever this is-" you interrupt them harshly, "I don't care for it. So please leave."

Sunghoon rolls his brown eyes, finally using all of his muscle to push on the door and then on your shoulder to move you out of the way. He walks into your hotel room like it's his and gives you a smug look as he stands in the middle.

"Look, I think you two should talk," Chaehyun huffs finally, grabbing on the door handle from her side and pulling it shut, "Sorry, forgive me!"

The electronic door handle plays a quiet jingle as it locks and you're left in the room with your former best friend.

"I don't know what delusion is going through your head to make you think I'm going to stay in this room with you," you sneer, hurriedly budging past him to grab your phone, a hat and a jacket.

"Y/N-"

"Sunghoon, please," you yelp as his fingers clasp around your wrist, "What do you want from me?"

"I just want to talk," his voice is shaky, unsure, hesitant, but his grip is firm and his eyes search yours desperately.

"You want to talk? After 5 years of radio silence you want to talk?" you're frustrated as you snatch your arm back and shove him lightly on his shoulder, "I could have forgiven you if it was six months- a year, even. But 5? We're nothing more than strangers, Park Sunghoon."

Sunghoon winces visibly at your words, shutting his eyes for a second before giving you a pitiful expression, "Are you really moving back to Korea?"

You throw your hands up in the air and laugh dryly, "Are you being serious? You only care about me and want to be friends if I'm close by? As if you have no use for me if I'm somewhere else?"

"Y/N, don't put words in my mouth," Sunghoon begs. Every time he tries to step closer to you, you take a leap back. At this point, you're nearly pressed against the hotel room door, "I've always cared about you-"

"That's bullshit," you spit at him, "How can you say you've always cared about me when you're snappy at best whenever we see each other? How can you say you've always cared about me when you never called, not once, in 5 years?"

You can see his usual ice-cold, nonchalant front cracking in front of you, "I wanted to."

Hot tears sweltered on your water line, just a second away from escaping. They start streaming down your face when you begin to shove at him repeatedly, "You wanted to? Then why didn't you? Why didn't you fucking call, Sunghoon?"

Sunghoon's resolve shatters as he halts your wrist with his own and crushes you in a tight embrace that you try to fight your way out of, "I was angry, okay? I was angry that my first love practically left without warning before I could even tell her what she meant to me. I was angry that you only told me the day before you were leaving. I was angry that there was nothing I could do or say to make you stay. I was angry at the fact that you were going to be thousands of miles away from me, in a different time zone when I'd never known what life was like without you and suddenly I felt like I was being abandoned. I was angry because in all of my conscious memory up until then, you and skating were the only constant things in my life that made me happy. I didn't know what to do with myself without you."

You stop squirming against his body nearly immediately at the revelation, listening to his speech in near medical shock.

"W- what?" your voice is muffled into the material of his Team Korea fleece.

"That's all I wanted to say all these years," Sunghoon exhales like a weight is lifted off his shoulder, "I didn't know how to tell you."

"And if I don't move back to Korea, what are you going to do?" you're still crying, but you regain enough strength to pull away from his warm grip and look into his eyes that begin to flood identically, "How do you think that's going to fix anything?"

You're less than metre away from Sunghoon, but to him, you couldn't be any further apart with a rift in between you. He looks at you and you almost look exactly the same as five years ago. He knows that you're a much different person after the way he hurt you.

"I want to make it up to you, Y/N," he whispers unsurely, "I just-"

"Why did it take you 5 years and me potentially moving home to realise that?"

"I overheard Heeseung and Chaehyun talking about how you were considering retirement or a break," Sunghoon admits guiltily, "I didn't want to ruin anything for you trying to come back into your life when it all seemed so great in America. You've won nearly every medal there is to win. But I had no idea you've been struggling and it's killing me that I wasn't by your side and was adding to your hurt instead."

You make a mental note to bang your two friends' heads together the next time you see them.

"And what makes you think I want you to be by my side?" Sunghoon is the one squirming now, probably not expecting you to be relentless in your grilling. You're a different person than you were 5 years ago; you learned not to give in so easily when even those closest to you had the potential to hurt you.

"Just give me a chance to make it up to you," Sunghoon looks down at you with eyes full of sorrow. His lips are pulled downwards, and in another time, you would have been tugging on his hand to take him to the arcade, or the rink, or the park, or the river- to anywhere that would make him forget whatever was causing him woe, "Whether you're home or not."

You cross your arms and tilt your head to look away from him. You catch sight of the clock on your wall and see that it's nearing 11pm.

You manoeuvre around Sunghoon and begin to push him in the direction of the door, "You have your free skate tomorrow. This conversation isn't going to be the reason you lose; please go back to your hotel room and get some rest. Junho would kill me if he found out you were here this late."

Sunghoon is more than willing to comply with you now, "You're not gonna give me an answer tonight?"

"I can't, Sunghoon," you tell him honestly, "I need to think about this; I need to think about so many things. It feels like my head's not even screwed on the right way right now."

"I'm sorry," he whispers as he turns the handle and opens the door wide, "Good night, Y/N. Thanks for listening to me even though I didn't give you a choice and congratulations on the gold."

Sunghoon makes it three steps away before you call out his name softly.

"Hm?" he turns around to see you half hidden by the door, chewing on your lip as you decide whether to spew out what you were going to say.

"You were my first love too. Anyway, good luck tomorrow."

The door handle jingles and Sunghoon is left alone in the hallway of the hotel, feeling as if his life had just turned around again. At the centre of it, there was always you.

⋆꙳•❅*°⋆❆.ೃ࿔*:･*❆ ₊⋆

"You should go home and rest first," Taeyeon pretends to scold you as she reverses into the parking space. She's been giving the same spiel over and over again since she picked you up from the airport, but you knew she didn't mean it from the way she was still driving you to your desired destination.

"I got plenty of rest on the plane and my parents aren't back from work until later," you retort again and then smile, "The KSU gave you a big raise, huh?"

Taeyeon laughs airily and the grin doesn't fade from her face, "I want only the best for my favourite skater."

You nudge her softly when she puts the car into park, "Thank you for paying for my flight. You really didn't have to."

"I get it, you're richer than me," she rolls her eyes, "Let a coach do a nice thing for her student, okay?"

Technically, you're not Taeyeon's student right now, but as her very first and most successful one, you'll always be her favourite. In reality, the fact that the two of you lived alone together and took care of each other in America made you more like family. She was a cross between a mother and an older sister to you and Taeyeon doted on you so that you never felt alone in America. Well, mostly.

She beckons you out of the car and you take the elevator up to the ground floor from the underground car park. There's a bunch of checks that you have to pass upstairs and it feels foreign to you to have a lanyard with the words 'GUEST' printed on them repeatedly. Once upon a time, you ruled this place.

"They're gonna come back from lunch soon. I made Kibum tell them all to come for an announcement after lunch," Taeyeon giggles to herself as she explains her own conspiring.

You chuckle along with her, "You're more of a sucker for this kind of stuff than I am! Telling me to go home and rest when you've been working behind the scenes without me..."

Taeyeon slides her arm around your waist and squeezes you against her side. You pass the double doors into the rink that takes your breath away.

"I'm just glad you're home, Y/N."

Strangely, it looks pretty much exactly the same as when you last saw it. Sure, the seats are getting a little worn and the floors have new scratches from dropped skates or dragging equipment, but the ice is as pristine as ever. It's sparkling white and perfectly surfaced- though you note that's probably due to ahjussi and his zamboni that you see disappearing into the tunnel on the other side of the rink. Chaehyun updates you that your favourite caretaker who's been working at Taereung since you joined is still there and you hope it's him. It would be nice to say hello in person again after nearly 6 years of occasional hello's when you video call your best friend at her training.

Kibum spots you first and jogs around to give you a big hug, "Welcome back to Korea, Y/N. I'm so happy you're here."

"Thanks Kibum," you smile sincerely at him. Since all the coaches at Taereung were so close, having been partners or friends since their own professional days, their students naturally got to know the other coaches too. While Taeyeon excelled at guiding you on techniques, spins and jumps, Kibum used to help fill out and polish your program with flair, charisma and poise. There was a reason that Heeseung always had some of the highest grade of execution scores in every competition. You had definitely missed his input while you were away.

"They should be here soon. I think I can hear Chaehyun," Kibum points to the direction you came in from, "Are you gonna hide or-"

"Shut up. Shut up!"

You spin to see your best friend frozen at the entrance of the rink, her hands over her gaping mouth, "I think it's too late for that."

"Y/N!" Chaehyun breaks out into a sprint and throws her arms around you, knocking you nearly off balance and having to take a few steps back, "What are you doing here?"

"Surprise?" you laugh weakly into her hair, "Aren't you happy I'm here?"

"I'm so happy! How long are you staying? There's so much to do now!" she pulls away from you excitedly and looks at the two coaches, "Where's coach? Do you think she'll let me take a week off?"

"Chae," you stop her bouncing by pressing down on her shoulders, "Relax. I'm moving here. Until the end of this upcoming season, at least."

Chaehyun gasps in delight and embraces you again, "Oh my God, this is the best news ever!"

"We're here too, by the way," Heeseung coughs behind Chaehyun, "We're also happy to see her, so can you share?"

Chaehyun spins and sticks her tongue out at Heeseung, but moves anyway. His hair is black again and longer than the last time you saw him. Despite that, his hug is familiar and you're always comfortable in his presence.

"I knew you'd come sooner than later after Taeyeon came back," Heeseung teases you, "I'm happy to have you around again, sweets."

"Sweets was my nickname for her," Sunghoon's deep voice called out behind the two of you. He's standing kind of awkwardly- leaning against the side of the stands as to act casual.

You remember when you started getting pocket money from your parents. Instead of saving it to buy a new plush or makeup from the mall, you would instead use it to smuggle vending machine sweets to practice. You would secretly slip some to your best friend here and there, and you were always getting scolded by your coach for your incessant sweet tooth despite needing to keep fit and healthy as an athlete.

"Hi Sunghoon," you greet him simply, a soft half-smile pulling on your lips. You immediately notice the change in his appearance, "Love the blonde."

He's a few metres away from you and you can feel all your audience's eyes on you. His own eyes widen slightly at the compliment and he shyly runs his fingers through the platinum locks, "Thanks, Y/N. I'm glad that you're back."

Chaehyun seals her hand over her mouth, but you can still hear the, "aw!" that escaped through the cracks. You spin your head so fast to glare at her that it nearly gives you whiplash.

"Coach, can we at least have the rest of the day off and catch up with Y/N?" Heeseung turns to face Kibum and then at you, "You're not busy, right?"

"You can finish practice now, but Y/N literally just got off the plane, so let her rest if she's tired," Kibum warns the three skaters, "And tomorrow, business as usual, unfortunately."

Chaehyun claps her hands together and drags you with her, calling over her shoulder that she was going to change and they should too. The locker room is still as sterile as you remember it to be- your old locker now devoid of the stickers you used to plaster all over the front.

"So?" Chaehyun quirks an eyebrow expectantly at you as she removed all of her training gear.

"So what, Chaehyun?" you roll your eyes at the girl, tapping at your cheek with your chin in your hand.

"Please, you saw the way Sunghoon was looking at you," Chaehyun laughs in glee, "Oh, I've been waiting for this moment forever."

You ignore the blush creeping up your cheeks, "This is moving too fast. I can't be hating him the last time I saw him to now being buddy-buddy. We talked a bit, yeah, but he still hurt me a lot and we're not in the clear yet. Of course, our relationship will probably never be the same."

"It's been 4 months since World's," Chaehyun notes, "You haven't thought about what you want to happen since then?"

You cock your head and hum in thought, "A little, but I've been distracting myself with the ice shows and every time I think about the situation, it just hurts, so I prefer not to."

"Hoon seems more repentant these days, to be honest. He's kinda sulky every time he sees Taeyeon and you're not by her side. He keeps asking her if you're going to come too," she stifles a laugh in remembrance of his antics.

"Taeyeon never told me that," you raise your eyebrows in surprise.

Chaehyun zips up her training bag as she finishes changing into more summer-appropriate clothes, "All I can tell you is that I'm sure Sunghoon wants to reconcile."

You ponder on it thoughtfully, trying to consider the implications of making up and how you were to go about doing that. It's never as simple as saying sorry and hugging it out; you've been living with the hurt and resentment for 5 years now. It was more second nature to ache whenever you thought of him than to smile. Undoing that is never going to be easy, no matter how much you want to forget the past in an instant and move forward.

"Come on, let's go get drinks," Chaehyun interrupts your thoughts by locking her arm with yours and tugging to exit the locker room.

⋆꙳•❅*°⋆❆.ೃ࿔*:･*❆ ₊⋆

When the news came out that you were going to take a break in the next figure skating season, it was safe to say that the whole industry was shocked. You just finished the best run of your career and showed no signs of slowing down. You hadn't even had to withdraw from any events for injury in 2 seasons!

Everyone was asking why- were you injured? Were you depressed? Were you pregnant? That one made you kick your fellow countryman Eric's heel from behind.

The press conference wasn't easy- how were you supposed to just say that you were exhausted and needed a break? Every skater was exhausted, right? There was even more speculation that you were going to switch nationalities again as your coach moved back to Korea and this break was just to hide the fact that you were riding out ISU's one year waiting period. You were glad to quickly shut that down.

For the past four months, you occupied yourself by participating in every ice show and tour imaginable; you loved skating just for the fans and their entertainment when there wasn't judges critiquing every inch of your movement. It took you a long, long time to make up your mind on what to do during your break. While it was so tempting to just stay in America and ignore everything waiting for you on this side of the world, your best friends and family were able to convince you that 5 years was a long time to be away from home. Another option was to just keep pushing on with a different coach at your rink, but you couldn't bring yourself to trust anyone else other than Taeyeon and the team you had already built and just thinking about facing the next season alone left a bad taste in your mouth.

You never informed Chaehyun of your final decision because you knew seeing her reaction in person would be worth it.

Chaehyun had been there to pick up all the pieces after your fallout with Sunghoon. The two of you had known each other for a while since you both skated at the National Training Center since you were juniors, but she was the only one from the rink that reached out after you moved. When you felt isolated in the US after you first moved, Chaehyun had been the one to call you every day despite the time difference to make sure you didn't feel so alone. While you were friends before, Chaehyun became a sister to you thereafter.

It's weird to see all the people you considered best friends or once best friends all around you at the same table.

"Where are you staying?" Heeseung sips on his iced tea casually. He's sitting in front of you, with Sunghoon next to him.

You shrug, "Probably with my parents. It's easier and free."

Chaehyun pouts, "I wish I had a spare room for you!" and then she looks at Heeseung and Sunghoon, "If you two sleep together in the same bed, Y/N can take the other room!"

Heeseung reaches over to flick Chaehyun's forehead, "Why don't you give up your bed then? Plus Hoon snores."

"And you sleep talk," Sunghoon scoffs at his house mate. It's the first words he's said since he sat down at the table.

"You should get an apartment in our building, Y/N," Chaehyun suggests.

"I don't know what I'm going to be doing tomorrow, let alone a year's time, so getting tied down to a lease sounds irresponsible," you admit, "Realistically, I need to go back to America to train cause I don't think the KSU would be very happy about me training at their risk for national team members."

"Oh come on, you know the KSU still loves you!" Heeseung counters.

"That's all fine for appearances, but I don't make them any money so using their facilities is a different ball game," you say, "There's other rinks, of course. I just don't know what to do yet."

"There's no rush," Sunghoon offers hesitantly, "You're on your break to relax, so don't worry about what comes next just yet."

You're taken aback by his contribution; his words are much more comforting than you thought they would be considering where your relationship stood. A few months ago, you and Sunghoon were on opposite sides of a plate with a rift between you that you thought was getting larger and pulling apart as the years went by. Now, it feels like you're both hanging in the air in limbo, waiting for the next move to determine what comes next.

"Thanks Sunghoon," you nod simply, taking a sip of your drink. You don't fail to notice the unsure look that Chaehyun and Heeseung give each other before Chaehyun scrambles to change the topic of conversation.

"Y/N, you haven't seen your parents right? Can I come with you when you go home?" Chaehyun coughs, "It's been a while since I saw them too and I miss your mom's cooking."

Despite Chaehyun's greatest effort to tread into a more neutral conversation, Sunghoon's stomach turns in longing. He too misses your mom's cooking. He misses you too.

⋆꙳•❅*°⋆❆.ೃ࿔*:･*❆ ₊⋆

You thought that being Taeyeon's assistant coach-in-training was going to be light work. After all, you'd been on the receiving end of it for many years, so being on the other side should be a breeze, right?

You were terribly, terribly mistaken. And you think that you should give Taeyeon an even bigger raise once the season after this one starts again.

Look, you've always known how hard your coach works. You genuinely do owe your entire career to her and you can't imagine where you would have ended up if it wasn't for her. You just didn't know how much she did behind the scenes in addition to everything she did for you on the ice.

The two of you are sitting in her office at Taereung, crowded around two computer screens side by side. Her office is narrow and small- just a desk, a chair and a few cabinets to keep papers, but the window stretching from the ceiling to the floor overlooking the mountains and hills of Seoul makes it feel much bigger. A few of her medals from her professional career are framed and hung on the wall opposite the desk, and there's picture frames of the two of you, as well as of her and Key when they won their first World's of many, interspersed with her medals.

"What's wrong with her form in this one?" Taeyeon quizzes you, tapping her pen on the freeze frame blown up on one of the screens. It's a still of her oldest student Boeun in the air. At 16 years old, Boeun's already achieved many great things for her country. The upcoming season was around the corner and it was Boeun's first year competing in the senior division, so her training was getting even more intense.

"Her arms aren't tucked in enough," you note slowly, "That's gonna creat resistance and slow her spin, so she might land wobbly or under-rotate."

"Good," Taeyeon nods in satisfaction. The two of you have been at this for hours and you're barely halfway through her free skate. Taeyeon's mostly been explaining to you her own thought processes, but whenever she senses you zoning out or getting bored, she's quick to fire questions at you, "Okay, you can go now."

You do a double take at your coach, "Huh, what? An I really bothering you that much? We're only halfway through the program!"

Taeyeon chuckles dismissively, "You're amazing, Y/N. It's just that it's 3pm and you should be enjoying your season off. I know that you want to gain experience coaching, but it's only the start of the year and we have a long time."

You pout at her request, but end up nodding hesitantly, "Okay, if you say so."

Spinning casually in her chair, Taeyeon murmurs off handedly, "You should catch Sunghoon downstairs; he finishes around this time. Maybe ask him to get some coffee."

Narrowing your eyes at her, you packed up your things, "Is this you meddling?"

"Maybe," she smirked, drumming her pen on the table, "It's not my fault I know the skaters' schedules."

"Stop rewatching Our Beloved Summer. Not every one gets a second chance," she'd been talking your ear off all week about the K-drama she watches every time summer rolled around despite knowing the plot line by heart.

A ghost of a smile flutters on her face, "Maybe, but I think you do. There must be a reason you ended up back in Seoul all this time."

You quirk your eyebrow at her, "And the reason is you moving back here. Whatever, I guess I can see if I can find him, but if he left already, it's not my issue."

You say goodbye to your coach, tugging on your jacket and slipping out of the door. You completely miss the way she scrambled to her phone to text one particular Lee Junho.

Racing down the stairs, you prepare yourself to face Sunghoon alone for the first time since he came to your hotel room. You're somewhat glad that he didn't pester you all these months, instead choosing to use your mutual friends to keep up on you. On the other hand, there's a selfish part of you that wished he would keep chasing.

There's a gaggle of juniors that are on the youngest side all propped up on the boards and watching Sunghoon finish some jump training when you walk into the rink. They're all peering up at him with wide, sparkly, awe-filled eyes as he traverses through the air with a grace you know that's only reserved by him. You used to look at your seniors the same way too; you and Sunghoon would come in early for your shared conditioning training and just perch on the stands watching whoever was on the ice. It was a way to learn, but it was mostly just a way you kept your love for skating alive among all the hardships.

There was never anything better than watching someone you aspired to be, knowing one day, you'll be the one inspiring the next generation. As long as you worked hard, of course.

"Y/N Y/L/N?" a tiny girl with her hair slicked back into a neat bun catches sight of you, gasping in amazement.

Sunghoon pauses on the ice, head snapping around to find you. You give him a small wave and a subtle smile, motioning for him to carry on as you addressed the kids that were one by one realising who you were.

"Hi, how's it going?" you smile genuinely, "What are you guys doing here?"

"We're working in the gym, but we're on a break right now. Coach said that Sunghoon-oppa was on the ice, so we came to watch," the three girls giggle with each other, but there's a soft smile resting on the two boys's flushed cheeks. The one that noticed you steps up against the rest, "I'm a really big fan of you. Coach said that you used to train here and came back, so I've been waiting to meet you. Do you think I could get an autograph?"

She's playing with the hem of her pastel pink training top, but you can tell that she's trying to keep her voice stable. The kids aren't carrying anything themselves, so you take out a notebook and pen from the front pocket of your bag.

"What's your name?" they're all a bit shorter than you, so you bend at the knees to meet her gaze. She grins at you with her brace-adorned teeth and tells you her name.

You sign quickly, leaving an encouraging message of well-wishes, tearing off the paper and handing it to her. The other kids have formed a queue behind her and are looking at you expectantly and so shyly that your heart bursts with happiness. You didn't have many juniors around at your old rink and certainly not ones who truly knew who you were and where you came from.

"I'll be around all season," you tell them as you sign the last piece of paper, "Don't be shy to talk to me, okay? It's my job after all to make sure you guys all become the best skaters you can be. No one knows this life better than your seniors, so make use of us."

Their grins are splitting their faces as they nod excitedly and run off to wherever their coach had appeared from. She gives you a grateful nod for entertaining them and by this time, you notice Sunghoon walking over to you, skates already off.

"You sure have a fanclub here," Sunghoon muses lightly.

"Ha, I didn't mean to conduct my very own meet and greet, but they're all so adorable," you say fondly.

Sunghoon mirrors your expression as nostalgia clouds his eyes, "Remember when we saw Jaejoong-sunbae in our first week here and snuck out of lesson to find him in the building?"

You clap your hands together at the forgotten memory being pulled to the forefront of your brain, "Oh my gosh and our coaches scolded us so much when they hunted us down and found us making him sign our skates and our bags!"

"Junho was just salty that Jaejoong was the face of figure skating at their time and not him," Sunghoon watches his coach disappear into a tunnel on the other side of the rink, "I bet they did that to their seniors whenever they came to Taereung!"

"Yeah," you agree, "Have they already got your signature?"

His eyes twinkle, "Yeah, the girls always watch whenever they're here."

"Sounds like they have a crush," you fold your arms and chuckle, "Let them down gently, yeah?"

"Ah, don't want a reputation as a heart breaker around here now, do I?" Sunghoon laughs easily, but then he realises the words that slip out and he slaps a hand to his mouth, "Wait. Um."

"It's cool," you giggle, "Taeyeon told me you were about to finish training for the day. I thought that maybe we could get a drink somewhere?"

Sunghoon's eyes widen in surprise, "Really?" you nod, "Oh yeah, of course. Wait here; I'll grab my stuff from the locker room and we can go."

⋆꙳•❅*°⋆❆.ೃ࿔*:･*❆ ₊⋆

Something you never really thought about much was the fact that you and Sunghoon fell apart as teenagers. It was silly to say, but you had never considered the fact that now you're adults, your lives were very different.

Sunghoon was cruising down the highway with one hand on the wheel and the other propped up onto the door. His car is modern and shiny and his side profile from your view is exquisite- wait, what?

"When did you learn to drive?" you ask quietly, trying to keep your eyes on the road in front. There wasn't that much to do around the training centre, so Sunghoon suggested to go into the city and find a nice café in Hongdae to explore.

"It's been a couple of years. It was kind of necessary to get to Taereung when I moved out of the dorms," Sunghoon hums, "Do you know how to drive in the US?"

"I got my license, but I never really drove. Taeyeon and I lived together, so she would just drive the two of us everywhere," you recount, "She made me get my license cause it's easy over there. I'm not sure how well my skills will translate over here."

Sunghoon runs his free fingers through the platinum strands of his hair, "Let me know if you wanna go for a drive to learn. I can help you."

Trying to ignore the flush in your cheeks, you scoff playfully, "You would trust me with your nice car?"

Sunghoon meets your eyes and it burns through you so intensely that you immediately look away. Internally, you're beating yourself up for acting so pathetic around him.

He lets out a sound that's a cross between a laugh and an exhale, "I used to trust you with my life."

Dumbstruck, you keep quiet and chew on your bottom lip. Sunghoon doesn't press any further and the two of you just listen to the smooth r&b playing on the radio. Until you get to the parking space, it's silent, but you don't know what else to say to act casual around him. You stopped being casual with him 5 years ago.

By the time that you wrestle your seatbelt off and collect your bags from the floor of his car, Sunghoon has jumped out and raced around to open the door for you. It takes everything in you to not crumble.

"Thanks," you smile slightly. Sunghoon's stare remains intense and piercing.

He directs you into the café and the two of you awe and marvel at the array of cakes and pastries all decorated to look like animals or objects. He doesn't fight you when you breach the topic of paying for your own drink and confectionary, but he does carry the tray with both of your items over to a table by a window.

"Thanks for coming to see me and inviting me out," Sunghoon purses his lips hesitantly, not knowing whether to dive so deep so quickly.

You jam a fork into the chocolate cake dressed up as a bear, "I've made you wait long enough since World's. And I think nearly 6 years is a long enough time of enduring all this angst."

"You're right," Sunghoon utters, sighing deeply, "I just- I just don't even know where to start."

"The very start, I guess," you say sheepishly, "I never meant to wait until the day before to tell you I was leaving. The whole time that Taeyeon was convincing me to go with her, I was completely in denial about leaving. I think that I didn't want to tell you, because if I did, it would seem real that I was leaving you. You were the hardest thing I was leaving behind."

"Wonder what your parents would say to that," Sunghoon tried to joke, but he sounds more sad than anything as you delve back into the past, "I heard rumours about it, but I didn't want to confront you about leaving either. I just thought that there was really no way that we could ever be apart. I mean, our coaches had to schedule all of our training back to back because we were just so attached at the hip."

When you were young, everywhere you went, Sunghoon would be right beside you. School, the rink, the mall, the playground, the gym, the cafeteria- everywhere. You were like each other's lifeline.

"I was going to ask you to call, to keep in touch-"

Sunghoon's eyelids flutter close in regret, "And then I called you selfish before you could even say that. And I said so many words that I definitely did not mean. I'm sorry for that, Y/N. Please know that I really am."

Your eyes brim with stinging tears, so you crane your neck down and sip at your milkshake to calm down.

The hardest thing through the years was whenever you were left alone with your thoughts. Somehow, everything always led back to the boy that was now sitting in front of you. But for years, you couldn't escape the heartbreaking feeling every time you remembered the look of betrayal on his face when you told him you were leaving, and then the anger that seeped into his features.

"We were just kids," you bite your lip and swipe at your lash-line, "I wish I could go back in time and say goodbye properly."

Sunghoon pushed a piece of his cake around with his fork on the plate, "I was angry that you were leaving because I was going to confess to you that week."

Your gaze snaps up to his, "Really?"

"Mhm, I had been planning it and trying to work up the courage for so long at that point," he chuckles bitterly, "The fairground was opening up for the summer that week, if I remember correctly. I was gonna ask you if you wanted to go and I was gonna try and confess then. You leaving so abruptly just broke my heart. I know it's not your fault though."

Your own heart cracks at the revelation, "I'm sorry, Hoon."

"And then I found out through Chaehyun that you were switching nationalities and it felt like we were two worlds apart," Sunghoon admits reluctantly.

You think back to when you were 17, being lured in by the country you held dual citizenship for and knowing that the deadline to choose a nationality was looming close, "There was so much depth in the Korean senior women's field. Taeyeon encouraged me to switch to increase the likelihood of winning national titles and getting spots at the Olympics. And they were willing to pump so much money into my training and paying Taeyeon that I couldn't say no."

"I know," Hoon nods affirmatively, "You don't have to explain yourself for that. You made the right choice and you're an Olympic silver medalist for it."

You smile weakly.

He continues, "The training centre felt so empty without you. For the first time, I actually had to make an effort to talk to the other athletes and none of them could measure up to you."

"I was really lonely in America," you confess in a small voice, "There were so many days that I almost called even though we left on such bad terms. I just wanted to hear your voice sometimes."

Sunghoon's eyes soften and his eyebrows pull together in regret, "I'm so sorry, Y/N. I missed you so much and I'm willing to do anything and everything to fix this- to fix us."

"And if I have to leave after this season?"

Sunghoon reaches over suddenly and wipes his thumb at the corner of your mouth. His finger ghosts over your lips for a second and your heart skips a beat and then begins to race.

"Sorry, you had some cake there," Sunghoon murmurs, "If you end up on the moon next season, I'll personally build a rocket to get to you."

Unconsciously, you let out a full laugh that causes a smile to invade his face. You bat at his arm, "Now, come on. That's too cheesy."

Sunghoon waits for you to stop laughing when he connects your eyes together, "But I mean it, Y/N. I need you in my life."

The steady, but quick thrum of your heartbeat pulses against your chest wall. All you can focus on is the adoring look that Park Sunghoon is directing at you. It feels like that's all you need.

⋆꙳•❅*°⋆❆.ೃ࿔*:･*❆ ₊⋆

For someone who spent their whole life on frozen water, you certainly didn't spend much time with it... unfrozen. But Seoul in the peak of summer is something akin to hell on earth- you couldn't walk more than a few blocks without having to duck into a convenience store or any shop that had air conditioning. As much as you wanted to wear as little as possible to avoid soaked fabrics sticking to your skin, you recognised that you weren't in America anymore and the looks you'd get from the sweaty grannies was frankly guilt-tripping. Even hanging around the rink on those hottest days wasn't any fun- the ice was more temperamental than usual and the shock you felt the second you step outside after spending time somewhere relatively cool just intensifies.

On your day off, Chaehyun magically appears at your familial home, giving you a mischievous smile.

"Heeseung has a friend of a friend of a friend-"

You give her a pointed look, "You want us to crash a stranger's house party just so we can use their pool?"

Chaehyun humphs, "No! We're invited. Heeseung and Sunghoon are already on their way there, so get your ass in a bikini so we can go!"

"Sunghoon's coming?" your heart began to race a little faster at the thought, but Chaehyun throws a pillow at you before you can even collect yourself.

"You lovesick loser."

You catapult the pillow back, "Am not! I don't like him like that anymore."

"Tell that to the heart eyes you get anytime he's around. Since the two of you made up, you've both been insufferable dancing around each other," Chaehyun's voice takes on a mocking tone as she mimics you, "'Oh Chae, his triple axel is so pretty today!' or 'oh Chae his training top fits him so well! or 'oh Chae, he brought me coffee today!'"

You ignore the giggling girl behind you in favour of packing some towels and a change of clothes into your bag. Over the past few weeks since you resolved things with Sunghoon in the café, he's made it a mission to make your life hell- well, he doesn't know that.

You thought that there was no way you could ever like-like him again after all the hurt that you grew to associate with him, but recently, your head and your heart have been all over the place. It's been hard to see each other super often since your schedules didn't overlap much, but he went out of his way to do nice things for you, such as getting you drinks after he finished training and you were still working or dropping by little snacks with encouraging notes to the office for you to encounter once you came in.

There was also the glaringly obvious change in your dynamics in the fact that he grew up hot. Sunghoon had always been handsome even when you were kids (it's one of the reasons you developed a raging crush on him), but it's different now that you're adults. Your brain worked differently now and his appearance and the way he commanded the ice all while making training gear look like designer had you feeling some kind of way.

"Hurry up," your best friend whined from your bed. You humph noisily and speed up shoving random items that you think you'll need into the bag until she has enough and starts tugging on your arm. I mean, it's her fault she only gave you a few minute's notice from when she turned up at your door.

Chaehyun drives like a mad-man all the way to this elusive friend of a friend of a friend's house that you start thinking you might need to get your own car to get you to places in this city. But then you remember how pretty Sunghoon's profile looked from the passenger seat-

"Why are you smiling like that?" Chaehyun laughs, "You look like an idiot."

You roll your eyes, "I'm just happy to be going to a pool party."

"You're happy to go to a pool party so you can see Sunghoon shirtless-" you reach over and she yelps, "Yah! Don't hit the driver! I'm gonna drive us off this cliff!"

You retract your arm away from her, "Don't say stupid shit, Chaehyun."

"I better not see you staring later then," she murmurs under her breath as she pulls into a parking space near the house. You text Heeseung to come and get the two of you outside because you didn't want to walk straight into this guy's garden without the ones who invited you.

He meets you promptly, a cup of something in hand and sunglasses hanging on the tip of his nose, "Urgh, finally. Hoon and I were waiting until you two got here so we could swim. It's so hot!"

You've only been outside of the car for a couple of minutes, but there's sweat forming in beads on your hairline already. You follow Heeseung through the side gate towards the direction of blaring music and the smell of barbecue. It truly was a party, because you couldn't even locate Sunghoon once you stepped into the clearing.

There were people crowded on loungers and people hovering by the barbecue and even more surrounding a ping pong table that was being used for beer pong. The pool wasn't super crowded, mainly for the fact that this guy lived in a mansion and his pool was practically Olympic sized.

"Jay!" Heeseung calls over a tall man with slick back hair and a sharp jawline, who smiles kindly to the two of you, "These are my friends Y/N and Chaehyun. Guys, this is Jay's house."

"You have an amazing house," Chaehyun gawks, "What do you do?

"He's a model," Heeseung answers for him hurriedly, "Y/N, Sunghoon's over there, go get him."

Heeseung points to the opposite corner of the garden where you could make out a group of people sat on outdoor couches around an unlit fire-pit. You squint and try to focus, seeing Sunghoon conversing with a girl that was leaning her whole body into him.

You pull a sour face, "I think he's busy."

"Get him," Chaehyun nudges you encouragingly, "He doesn't even look happy to be there."

You huff loudly, already sensing their meddling from a million miles away. What could you do though? It was basically law that best friends would tease two ex friends who had feelings for each other in the past to get together.

Quickly muttering a goodbye to the host, who flashes you a charming grin, you stalk all the way over to fire-pit. As you get closer, you begin to hear their conversation.

"Your arms are really big," this girl runs the tips of her fingers along his arm that was stretched out on the couch behind this girl, but Sunghoon visibly recoils from her touch, "Aw, am I making you shy?"

You nearly puke at her sugar sweet tone and halt your steps instead to watch how Sunghoon would react. You didn't want to cock-block the guy if he was actually interested and you were reading the situation wrong.

"Um, thanks?" his voice is awkward and he takes  a swig of the liquid in his cup.

"What are you doing tomorrow? My friends and I are hosting a party at my house if you wanna come," she continues on, "It'll be really fun!"

"Ah, I'm not really into parties."

The girl pouts her glossy lips, "Really? How about we hangout alone then?"

"I told you that I-"

Annoyed at the thought of having to hear any more of this conversation, you clear your throat, causing Sunghoon's head to fly in the direction of the sound. He does a quick double take, but his face lights up all the way to his crinkled eyes once he realises it's you. You don't think you've ever seen a man stand up so quickly and this girl jumps back on the couch, clearly offended.

"Y/N, baby, you're here!" your eyes bulge out of socket when Sunghoon wraps his defined arms around your waist, making contact with the skin exposed by your cropped shirt. He nuzzles his head into your neck and leans up to whisper into your ear, "Play along, please?"

The girl on the couch scoffs at Sunghoon, "I thought you were just trying to brush me off when you said you had a girlfriend."

You narrow your eyes at her as Hoon settles beside you, keeping one hand squeezing your waist, "Then why didn't you get the hint? Do you wanna be a homewrecker?"

The girl stands up and rolls her eyes at you, "Whatever," she stomps away, stopping at a group of girls that are all staring at you menacingly.

"What was that?" you mumble to Sunghoon, who is smiling at you sheepishly and taking his arm off you.

He scratches the back of his neck, "Ah, sorry Y/N. She wouldn't leave me alone so I said I had a girlfriend."

"That didn't seem to work anyway," you retort in amusement, "And you were letting her get awfully close and touchy for someone who had a so-called girlfriend."

Sunghoon opens his mouth to apologise again, but a glimmer appears in his eyes that causes him to hold back and smirk, "Ah, why- were you jealous, Y/N?"

You grit your teeth and smack his chest, "In your dreams, Park. Let's go in the pool- it's so hot."

Mercifully, Sunghoon decides not to say anything else as he watches you put down your bag on the couch he was occupying and tug at your clothes.

"Look away," you murmur, causing Sunghoon's cheeks to redden. Thankfully, he could use the alcohol he was sipping on as an excuse as to why his face was so flushed as he turns around and pulls his own shirt over his head. He hears you unzip your skirt and drop it onto the couch, and then the pitter patter of your flip flops towards the pool, "Come on!"

Sunghoon only turns in time to see you slide into the pool off the side, so he quickly ducks down and follows. The heat is absolutely battering your skin, so you briefly plunge your entire body and resurface to find him smiling goofily at you.

"What?" you interrogate curiously.

Sunghoon shakes his head and splashes water up to his face, "Nothing, nothing. Aren't you glad that you came?"

"Well, I was forced to," you grin, splashing cheekily at him.

Sumghoon pouts and splashes back at you, "Are we playing this game?"

Cocking your head to the side in fake innocence, you peer up at him, "What game?" you scoop with your cupped palms and flick the amassed water over his body.

A mischievous look creeps up on his features and he smirks at you, "You don't know what you're getting into, Y/N."

You turn as quickly as you can in the water, launching off in a random direction in a pathetic paddle/waddle considering the fact you're not a great swimmer. His laugh echoes in the air as he dives and chases after you, and before you realise, his arms snake around your exposed waist and he drags and dunks you under the water. Thrashing, you kick against him, but Sunghoon's hold is too strong on your body even after you surface. You splutter the water out and rub at your eyes to get the chlorine water and your sticking hair away.

When you open your eyes, you realise that your bodies are pressed up against each other, him clinging to you, with your faces just mere centimetres apart. You're breathing heavy from your underwater struggle, lips parted and exhaling. Intently, you watch as Sunghoon's eyes peer into yours and then flash down to your lips before he cracks a grin.

"I guess I win?"

You grunt, pushing him away, "You have 5 seconds to run, Park."

⋆꙳•❅*°⋆❆.ೃ࿔*:･*❆ ₊⋆

Summer ceases for another year in the blink of an eye and autumn creeps in slowly, and then all at once. The leaves on the trees surrounding Taereung have long changed colours, now making their home on the ground in piles of yellows, oranges and reds. You're both eagerly anticipating and dreading the snow, mindful of the fact you haven't lived through a Korean winter in a long, long time.

You try to appreciate the chilly breeze with clear skies, but it's hard when you had gotten used to the same mild or scorching temperature year around.

Sunghoon sighs as he steps in front of you, watching you tug your gloved hands on the neck of your jacket, "You've forgotten all about our autumn and winter, haven't you?" He unwraps the wool scarf that was adorning his neck and places it around your own. You hope that he'll put down the flush on your cheeks to the weather.

"Hoon, it's fine. We're not even going to be walking far," you insist, moving to take it off, but he places a hand over yours and gives you a sharp look that has you backing down.

He takes the handle of the suitcase away from your grip and walks in front of you. You huff and chase after him, "Seriously, Sunghoon. What if you get sick? I'm not the one competing."

He flashes you a prince-like smile, "Then you'll just have to take care of me- ow!" he flinches as you swat at him, "It's fine, Y/N. This weather is nothing to me and I mainly brought it for you. I knew you wouldn't be prepared."

You quieten down and ponder on his words. You shouldn't be surprised- even when you were young, Sunghoon was always attentive to your needs. Not much had changed since and you feel like you've fallen into the routine of your old friendship again, with a hint of flirtatious remarks from him then and now.

It's a nice feeling to be getting along with him again. It's filled up and healed a crack in your heart that appeared when you left and was never mended until now. Even though it was hard at first to be open with him, he's doing a diligent job breaking down your walls and occupying the space beside you like he once did.

The walk from the airport drop-off to the entrance is decently long, but Sunghoon rolls the two carry-on suitcases beside him, while you just haul your handbag. You're meeting the rest of Team Korea seeded to this competition at the airport, which makes you nervous. There's one other women's skater and a pair of ice dancers travelling to America with their coaches and staff and they're so young that you don't know them from your junior days. As much as Sunghoon, your friends and your coach try to convince you otherwise, you're not a part of their country's staff and a lot of them are likely reluctant to talk to you about strategy and programs- especially the skater that you would compete against on the circuit.

Lee Yunah fakes a smile at you when the two of you join the team at the check in desk. She grins over at your companion and tells him that they're sitting next to each other in business class. You're preparing yourself for a near 13 hour flight in economy next to Junho, Sunghoon's coach. It was definitely nice of Team Korea to fly out their skaters in business class on the way to competitions- something you were also used to with your federation.

You don't really know why Lee Yunah isn't fond of you. Of course, she's never mean or outwardly vicious, but you get the feeling through her pointed looks and tight-lipped smiles that you weren't her favourite person. Most girls you know in the circuit are so sweet- they always congratulate you and make conversation whenever they see you, but you've never had a full on chat with her despite sharing a language. You know that she's a couple years younger than you, but only came to Taereung 2 years ago after training someplace abroad.

You're heading to Skate America with the team because you figured you could watch and then travel to your home to get some things you left behind and check on your apartment. It was currently left half-empty after Taeyeon moved all of her things out, but your belongings were still there. You had a cleaner come every month to make sure the apartment was still standing and wasn't being infested while you were gone, but you thought it wouldn't hurt to come and see it for yourself and maybe see a few friends.

You and Sunghoon mostly just sit in silence at the gate after you pass security, texting your families your whereabouts and telling anyone relevant that you were going to be off your phones for the duration of the flight. You queue up your playlist and try to search online the movies available on the flight to save some time picking on the plane.

At one point, he excuses himself to the bathroom and returns with your favourite drink in his hand.

"Saw it in the vending machine by the toilets," he shrugs casually, to which you thank him profusely. You're a big fan of airplane food, much to everyone's chagrin, but you absolutely loathe the small selection of drinks they have to offer. The iced tea will definitely carry you through the flight.

When you finally get onto the aircraft, you're delighted to find that only you and Junho are in the row of 4 seats, so he shuffles to the other end to give the two of you space in the middle. While it's not the window seat where you could rest your head on the side, you and Junho can definitely take turns stretching out across the unoccupied seats and having a better sleep. It's a night flight, so you're definitely going to be exhausted in a few hours.

Before you turn your phone to airplane mode, Sunghoon texts you a selfie from his seat, looking sad with an exaggerated pout despite the fact that he's in a lie-flat seat with a screen twice the size of yours. You send him multiple eye roll emojis before telling him to get some good rest on the flight.

It takes around 40 minutes for the plane to taxi, take off and climb before the seatbelt sign turns off and the plane reaches a constant altitude. The plot of the movie you chose is dragging on a bit, causing your eyes to droop already, when a figure appears from Junho's side and leans down next to him. You watch curiously as Junho stands up from his seat into the aisle and as Sunghoon crosses two other seats to plop down next to you.

"Hi," he breathes out.

"What are you doing here?" you pause the movie and quirk an eyebrow at him.

"Yunah wouldn't stop talking my ear off!" he grumbles, settling into the seat, "Even when I put the partition up, she put it down after 5 minutes."

"So what?" you muse, "Are you giving up your lavish life in business class to be uncomfortable in economy?"

"I don't wanna sit next to her," Sunghoon whines, "Her crush on me is suffocating. I thought she would have moved on by now."

Ah, there it was. It was pretty obvious to anyone that had eyes that Yunah had a big, fat crush on your friend. You also knew that Sunghoon was pretty oblivious when it came to things like this- or he was when you were younger. That's why it came as a surprise that he already knew.

"She confessed?"

Sunghoon lets his eyes flutter closed, his long lashes kissing the tip of his cheeks, "Mhm, maybe a couple weeks before you came to Seoul? I rejected her then, but she hasn't given up, it seems."

You tear your eyes away from him, afraid you'll do something stupid like brush the fallen lash that sits on his cheekbone with your thumb, "Why did you reject her? She seems like a nice enough girl to you."

"She's not who I want," Sunghoon murmurs without missing a beat. He doesn't even let you ponder on his words before he opens his eyes and turns to his coach, poking him with his finger, "Hyung, can you take my seat? I wanna lie down here."

Junho gives him a funny look and they exchange a few words that you tune out as you think about what Sunghoon means. Does that mean there's someone in his head that he's decided on? Someone he's crushing on?

As Junho happily waddles out of economy to occupy his newly upgraded seat, Sunghoon stretches out across the seats. You notice that his feet ever so slightly dangle to the side into the footwell, so you grab a pillow and place it on your lap.

"Sunghoon, put your head here," you pat the squishy fabric.

He looks up at you with big, shiny eyes that had the ice in your heart melting, "Are you sure?"

You give him an affirmative nod and watch as he shuffles his head up to your lap and nuzzles to get comfortable. There's a light, resting smile on his lips and you softly brush the hair out of his eyes.

"Goodnigh, Y/N. Wake me up when you wanna swap," he breathes out, eyes already squeezed shut.

"Goodnight, Hoonie."

⋆꙳•❅*°⋆❆.ೃ࿔*:･*❆ ₊⋆

The gold medal hanging around Sunghoon's neck compliments the beam on his face as he poses for photos on the podium. Your heart squeezes in pride; you've been noticing how he's getting more and more consistent with his wins over the past two seasons and it's starting to look like he's going to dominate the male field single handedly. This was all you ever dreamed of when you were young and aspiring; winning and winning some more and being by each other's side. There were some bumps on the road with that, such as Sunghoon's run in with a bad form early on of his senior career, while you were experiencing the opposite. You sigh contently at the universe's plan to move everything around you as everything fell into place.

"Gold looks good on you, Park," Sunghoon is grinning at you as he walks over to you after the press conference, a while later.

"Do you ever get tired of it?" Sungjoon holds up the medal hanging around his neck delicately like it's a baby and the most precious thing he's laid his eyes on.

You nudge his arm with your elbow, "Don't act like this is your first; you're not that far behind me."

While you exploded on the scene as soon as you made your transition to seniors, Sunghoon's growth was gradual and more sustainable. He worked hard and steadily over the years, waiting patiently to reap his rewards. Now, he was decorated with nearly every medal in quick succession.

"Nah, you're miles ahead, sweets," he drops the term so casually you almost don't react, but by the time you realise, Junho is telling him it's almost time to warm up and run through his exhibition gala routine.

Sunghoon turns to you as he pulls the medal off his body and drops it around your shoulders, "Can you keep this safe for me? I'll see you after the gala, yeah?" his left eye drops into a wink before he takes off on a jog back into the direction of the rink.

You're stood there dumbfounded, fingers clasping the fabric of the medal. Junho stifles a laugh at you, making a note in his head to tell Taeyeon how your relationship has progressed in just a short time from the airport to now.

⋆꙳•❅*°⋆❆.ೃ࿔*:･*❆ ₊⋆

"Welcome to my home sweet home," you breathe out as you step foot in your apartment for the first time in months.

It's a little chilly and the air is a bit stagnant, but otherwise, the apartment has been maintained well by your caretaker. You quickly turn on the heating and A/C to circulate the air while Sunghoon rolls his small suitcase in and takes off his shoes by the door. It's the first time you've seen shoes that weren't Taeyeon's next to yours in this apartment and it endears you to see it's Sunghoon's beat up shoes from when you were younger.

"You need new shoes, Hoon," you mumble pointedly at the raggedy pair.

He pouts cutely, "They're my favourite! They're perfectly moulded to my feet and we bought them together at the department store on my 16th birthday, remember?"

"And you are 21 now, Park Sunghoon," you crinkle your nose at him, "I think you can afford to part ways with them."

"It's not about affording, it's about our emotional bond!" he protests while he taps his sock-covered feet on the leather that was about to peel.

"Whatever. That is Taeyeon's old room. Put your stuff in there and I'll find some bed sheets," you point at the door on one side of the living room. You cross the shared area to reach your own bedroom and the linen closet.

By the time that you managed to pair up two sets of everything to adorn your stripped beds, you find Sunghoon in the kitchen, snooping through your cupboards. You doubt that he would find anything; fresh food hasn't crossed the threshold since you left and you did a freezer clear-out of most things too.

"Are you hungry? There's not gonna be any food, so we can order in," you pass by behind him as you go to drop the sheets in the room.

The two of you had breakfast in the hotel buffet in the morning with the rest of Team Korea, but after that, you were busy packing your bags and stressing about making it to the airport in time to eat between Texas and your home. It's creeping up on dinner time, so as athletes, you were starving.

"Can we order Korean food?" Sunghoon's tone has a cheeky lilt to it, which you don't understand until he turns around and you find green bottles in his grasp.

You gasp, "I left soju here? I thought I drank them all when I had a goodbye get together with my friends. What a nice surprise, but should we be drinking?"

Sunghoon shrugs and places three bottles on the dining room table, "Why not? I just won Skate America so we can celebrate, I guess. And we don't have any schedules or training for the next few days."

You always planned to visit your apartment after the competition even if it required a short plane ride to a different state. What you hadn't initially decided was whether you would invite Sunghoon or not. In your head, it was going to be a bit awkward inviting Sunghoon to a trip just alone straight off the bat without any of your friends first, but Chaehyun convinced you that there was nothing wrong inviting your friend. At one point, you considered each other best friends and you wouldn't have hesitated in the past, even when you did have a crush on him.

Convincing Heeseung and Chaehyun to fly to the States and make it a group treat came to no avail as they were both going to Skate Canada just a few days after Skate America and therefore would need to be using this time intensely training. You considered taking a trip over to Halifax and watching your other best friends too, and then trying to convince them to come back with you, but going coast to coast back and forth was tiring and time-wasting. You don't think that Taeyeon would appreciate you skipping out on more days of work back in Korea just because you couldn't stomach the thought of being alone with Sunghoon in a private place.

In the months you've been in Korea, you've definitely been alone with Sunghoon- you eat together often, you work out together often, you walk around shopping districts and café hunt together often, but you haven't been alone with him with nowhere to run to yet. This is your apartment after all.

After you order the food, you convince Sunghoon to go and set up the bed and unpack his belongings a little, while you did the same in your room. Apart from the stripped bed, the room seemed largely untouched and a little empty. Still, you left behind some memorabilia such as some of your competition gifts (all the medals and trophies were in the living room, as they were celebrating both you and your coach), pictures with your friends and team on this side of the world and a heap of plushies that you couldn't justify hauling with you all the way to Korea.

You took most of your clothes to Korea, but you left behind your competition dresses that were displayed on a rail. Fondly, you inspected each of them and let the warmth of the memory fill your heart. While you were missing competing already, you know in your heart that this break is what you need so you don't burn out too fast; you want to be with the sport for as long as possible, even if you did foolishly contemplate retiring at first.

After intense and thought-provoking conversations with your coach and your best friends, you came to the decision that taking a break was a much easier and less-permanent step than announcing you were retiring off the bat. You know you made the right decision when the thought of coming back on the ice made you feel excited, instead of dread.

Your door was ajar, but you still get shocked when Sunghoon knocks on the wood to let you know of his presence, "The food came, Y/N."

"Oh, really? Sorry, I didn't hear it but thanks for getting it," you furrow your eyebrows at how you spaced out.

Sunghoon steps further into your bedroom, which has you training your eyes on him carefully as he perches on the end of your bed, "It's weird not knowing what your bedroom looks like now, when I used to have them all memorised."

Your heart clenches at the thought. When you still lived at home with your parents, Sunghoon lived nearby and was always around for play dates in your room or house. As you grew up, the two of you would study together on your large desk side by side with the chair that he stole out of your parents' office. When you both moved into the dorms briefly, you would find ways to sneak him into your room even when boys weren't allowed in the girls' dormitory. He spent a lot of time in your dorm room napping while you did online school before the two of you would head over to the rinks for training.

You hang your costume from the last Olympics back onto the white rail, "Well, now you know."

Sunghoon takes this as an invitation to inspect more purposefully. There's a printed picture of you, Chaehyun and Heeseung on the pin board above your desk. From Heeseung's hair colour, Sunghoon could tell it was from a couple of years ago. There's a few newspaper clippings up about your victories and a few childhood photos of you on the ice. When he finds that there's nothing to indicate his previous presence in your life, he feels a little guilt, even though he expected it.

He was such a big part of your life once- and you to his- but misunderstandings had forced the two of you apart, mainly due to his own angst. If he wasn't so stupid and young, maybe his face would appear on your pinboard too to signify his importance.

"I can feel you thinking over there," you chuckle and sit next to him, "What's up?"

Sunghoon's eyebrows are knitted together in some kind of frustration, "I missed so much of your life because I was so up my own ass. You achieved all the things we talked and dreamed about for so long and I couldn't even celebrate with you or tell you how proud I am of you. I'm sorry, Y/N."

His words take you aback and you instinctively lean into his body, "Stop saying sorry, Hoon. We agreed to move past it, remember?"

He kisses his teeth, "I know, but I'm still so angry at myself for doing that to us and pushing us apart when it was the exact opposite of what I really wanted."

Your heart begins to race as it so often does when you're faced with Park Sunghoon. You turn your head towards him to find him already looking at you with parted lips. You fight with your might to keep your eyes up as your fingers grasp the bedsheets.

His words nearly echo what he said on the plane about Yunah not being the one he wants.

"What did you really want?" your voice drops to a whisper, reluctant to ask in fear of having to face his answer.

There's a moment when his eyes scan down your face and land somewhere lower, but he's meeting your gaze again quickly as a knowing smile stretches across his lips, "Are you sure you wanna hear it?"

There's a churning in your stomach as you examine his expression. It's so unreadable and unfamiliar to you that something inside you snaps and you jump up, "The food is gonna go cold. And the soju's gonna go warm," you speed walk out of the room and leave behind a chuckling Sunghoon.

⋆꙳•❅*°⋆❆.ೃ࿔*:･*❆ ₊⋆

Spending your teen years in America where you just barely became legal to drink meant that you didn't get a chance to build up your alcohol tolerance the same way Korean teens did. While you vehemently do not condone drinking if Taeyeon asks, you still know that in Korea's heavy-drinking culture, teens were able to access alcohol much earlier and easier and drank a lot more than you and your same-aged friends you made in America. At the same time, you didn't go to a physical college to be able to engage in questionable behaviours like underage drinking at parties or with college friends since most of your friends were fellow athletes who had it drilled in them to take care of their bodies. While in Korea, it was practically a rite of passage to sneak in alcohol for special occasions and not so special occasions to the dormitories once the lights went out and the adults went to sleep.

You're a testament of that cultural and social gap as your head lulls heavily in the air, while Sunghoon watches you in half amusement, half concern. You seemed okay for a while, matching his pace with shots as you talked casually and ate the takeout and then suddenly it seemed to hit you all at once and you were slurring and giggling at nothing and dropping your head. Although you protested, he managed to cut off your alcohol and even poured down the remaining liquid down the sink so there was no chance of you getting any further gone.

Sunghoon was definitely buzzed too, to the point that risky decisions seemed appealing to him now, but his concern for you overtook any feeling.

"We should get you to bed now, Y/N-ie," Sunghoon hums as he pats your head flopped on the table, "Let's get up."

"No!" you bang your fist on the table softly, "I don't wanna. I wanna spend time with you!"

Sunghoon's heart leaps out of his chest hearing those words, "We have all day tomorrow and the day after and then we have the whole ride back to Korea. Plus, we practically work together."

You murmur something incoherent into the table and Sunghoon has to urge you to lift your head up.

"I said that we barely see each other at the rink," you mumble again, peering up at him adorably.

Since the season kicked off, your schedules were busier, but it endears Sunghoon to know that you were thinking about him, "I'll make more of an effort to see you more often then. But we should get your drunk ass to bed now."

"I'm not drunk," you hiccup cutely as your face scrunches up and then relaxes as you examine his features, "Has anyone ever told you that your moles are really pretty?"

Sunghoon is struck silent by you so suddenly and he thinks he's forgotten how to breathe when your hands reach up to cup his face. Your expression is so soft yet determined as your fingers ghost over the placement of the marks- over his nose, under his eyes and then the pad of your thumb presses gently into his skin just a few centimetres away from the corner of his lips.

Your touch on him is kickstarting his heart into gear and his heart is beating out of his chest. It's almost like all at once, you've completely undone all his resolve when this whole time, he's been trying to push his feelings away in order to restore and rekindle his previous friendship with you.

But let's face it, Sunghoon doesn't want to be your friend.

Or at least he doesn't want to be just your friend anymore.

"Y/N, what are you doing?" his own hands find their way up to cup your hands, which makes your fingers press deeper into his skin.

"You're so handsome, Hoonie. You grew up so well," your voice is so dreamy that Sunghoon becomes hyper aware that you might not say these things when you're sober. He tries to pull your hands off him, but you just bat away at his grasp, "So, so pretty. Makes me want you all to myself."

Your table is abnormally narrow, or so it feels like. With the way that you're leaning up to him, he only needs to move a little to meet you and maybe press his lips into yours-

Sunghoon shakes away his tipsy thoughts as he forcefully removes himself from your caress and walks around the table to hoist you up, "Let's get you to bed, Y/N. Seriously."

The walk to your room is precarious. Sunghoon feels like he's getting more drunk with every step he takes trying to manoeuvre your unwilling body. You're clinging onto him for life, groaning and complaining about not wanting the night to end, but he tunes you out to prioritise taking care of you. You both got changed into pyjamas after your second shot, foreseeing the night to end a bit tipsy and therefore likely disinhibited from normal tasks. All Sunghoon has to do is peel back the covers and coax you into lying down.

He brushes the hair out of your shining eyes once he gets you to settle on the bed, "I'm gonna get you some water, okay? Stay here."

Your hands clutch at his bicep, not even going all the way around, "Hoonie, I missed you."

He smiles fondly at you, "I missed you too, Y/N. I really did."

When you let your heavy eyelids fall, you also let a smile grace your face. Sunghoon captures this moment in his mind to store in the part of his brain that you've made home in and he decides that no matter what and if it is up to him, he'll never leave your side again.

⋆꙳•❅*°⋆❆.ೃ࿔*:･*❆ ₊⋆

"Sunghoon, this is Eric," you gesture between the blonde haired guy beside you and the pink haired one in front of you, "Have you guys met before?"

"In passing when I would give him dirty looks on behalf of you," Eric snorts, "And we've met a few times on the podium, right?"

Sunghoon nods stiffly, "Yeah, a few."

Eric quirks his eyebrow, "Well, anyway, it's good to finally meet the elusive Park Sunghoon. I've heard lots about you, not good things as you imagine."

You reach over to smack Eric's arm with a scalding expression, "Eric, behave."

He lets out a boisterous laugh that has introverted Sunghoon squirming in his seat, "Relax, i'm just playing. Really. I'm glad that you two are on good terms again. Y/N-ie always talked about you and while it was out of anger mostly, I could tell that behind it all, she missed you."

"This is not behaving either," you mutter with a glare at your friend.

Eric was a fellow skater at your club. He joined the year after you came from a different club in the city to work with your coach's mentor. The two of you became fast friends despite him being a couple years older than you and he was one of the friends you were missing since moving back home.

Over the years, you grew more comfortable in confiding in Eric about your friends back home and specifically about Sunghoon after he witnessed a little spat between you a few World's ago.

Sunghoon has always been the shy and quiet type, which is one of the reasons why he struggled so much without you- you were practically his only friend then. Eric, on the other hand, is too extroverted and talkative for his own good. You like to think you're a happy medium in between them both. However, you know that this meeting won't go off without a hitch.

"Y/N-ie, do you know yet if you're gonna come back next season?" Eric takes a sip out of his cocktail. The three of you are sitting on a shaded table on the porch of a brunch spot, basking in the slight warmth of the October sun. It's a stark contrast to what you'll come home to, "We all miss you so much over here."

You feel Sunghoon stiffen up beside you and you cast a quick glance at him. He's trying to play it cool by mixing around the mojito he ordered with the straw.

"I'm not sure yet. It feels like I just got to Korea, to be honest," you skirt around the question to avoid making Sunghoon uncomfortable. In all honesty, it was the truth. You wanted to focus on enjoying your time there without worrying too much about the future. Then again, you had to make sure that your team was ready for you wherever you were going to end up in the world. While Taeyeon was arguably the most important part of the team, there were so many more people behind the scenes that shaped your career.

"We really love having Y/N around," Sunghoon adds on nonchalantly. You can tell that he's trying to avoid voicing out his real opinion in favour of supporting whatever decision you'll come to make.

"So do we," Eric grins, "I miss having my partner in crime around."

Sunghoon resists the urge to roll his eyes out of his head. You were his partner in crime first. Plus, you never even mention Eric much around him. How close were the two of you really?

"The staff are probably so happy that we're separated," you giggle in acknowledgement, "Who are you stealing the Zamboni with now?"

A memory flashes through the forefront of Sunghoon's mind when you first broke into the Zamboni cupboard and stole the keys. You two were practically punished for days when you were caught lapping the rink in circles at the age of 14 and subsequently ruining the work of the driver. Thankfully, you did learn over the years at your new rink how to operate the machine, so stealing it with Eric was mostly just for the thrill.

If emotions could manifest in real life, Sunghoon was green with envy. He would never accuse you of replacing him when the fall out was his fault anyway, but the thought that you did things with Eric that you used to do with him made him feel so sick.

The way that Eric addressed you with soft nicknames and a teasing tone had Sunghoon's stomach churning. He practically sat through the brunch seething in silence, only speaking when you addressed him and asked him a question.

What was even worse was that you hadn't talked about the events of the previous night at all. By the time that Sunghoon returned to your room after fetching your glass of water and trying to calm himself down in the kitchen, you were already fast asleep in dreamland. In the other room, Sunghoon seemingly couldn't sleep a wink until the next thing he knew, he was being shaken awake by you frantically telling him to get up as you were gonna be late to meeting Eric.

So here you all were, nursing your hangovers with even more alcohol and a whole lot of carbs.

Eventually, Eric had to run for his final fitting for his costume that he was debuting at the Grand Prix de France in a few weeks, leaving you and Sunghoon to stroll along the streets lined with brunch spots and themed cafés.

"How'd you find Eric? I know he's kind of a lot at first..." you chuckled awkwardly, sensing only halfway through the meeting that it was probably not a good idea to have them meet just yet.

"I'm just glad that you had some friends over here," Sunghoon said sincerely.

"It was hard at first, but once Eric came, he dragged many people into our little group of friends," you agree quietly. Sunghoon is walking tensely beside you, fingers clasped behind his back instead of swinging by your side like usual.

"Mhm."

"You're not jealous, are you?" you ask hesitantly, looking straight ahead at the strip in front of you.

"A little," his confession takes you by surprise. You halt your step and catch his arm.

"Eric is flirty but he doesn't actually mean anything by it."

Sunghoon lets out a deep sigh and gestures for the two of you to sit on a nearby bench. It's a weekday morning, so there's not that many people hanging around the streets. People were mainly just walking past with a purpose to reach a certain shop instead of walking casually like the two of you were.

"After last night, I don't know where we stand," Sunghoon gnaws at his lip nervously. As much as he'd love to pretend nothing was changing between the two of you to preserve the good terms you were on, he feels like he can't carry on any longer.

The memories of the previous night come rushing back to you, not having been able to think about it beforehand due to your rush to meet Eric. You fold into yourself in embarrassment and move away from Sunghoon. You're not even internalising the meaning to his words, too preoccupied with cringing internally at your actions- there was a reason why you didn't drink much.

"Y/N," Sunghoon scoots closer to you, "Did you hear what I said?"

You peak at him through your hands covering your face in shame, "Hm?"

Sunghoon laughs softly at you as he moves your hands away from your face gently, "I said I don't know where we stand."

You cock your head at him, "Are you asking me what are we?"

Sunghoon's face heats up, "I'm just as nervous and embarrassed as you are about this, Y/N. Just give me a straight answer."

His candour inspires a bout of bravery in you as you give him a confident smile, "As I said last night, I want you all to myself."

You can practically see the moment a glimmer of hope sparkles in his eyes as he shuffles even closer to you. Your thighs are touching at this point, body twisted towards one another.

"Really? In what way?" he presses on.

You try to look away, intending to evade the conversation and point out something irrelevant, but Sunghoon reaches up to your cheeks and keeps your face straight at him. His expression tells you everything you need to know.

He's been waiting for your answer for practically 6 years.

"In the way that I'm in love with you," you confess.

When you spent countless nights pondering on what exactly your feelings were for Park Sunghoon, you always imagined that telling him would be hard. When you were young teens, confessing to your best friend was something that had you panicked and flustered, not even once entertaining the idea in fear of ruining your friendship over a crush.

But looking up at him now with that pleading and hopeful look on his face had the words falling out of your mouth.

It felt so natural to tell him, the same way that breathing came easy to any human. You used to always tell each other that you loved each other, but telling him you're in love with him? It was as automatic as your heart beating.

"Okay, good," Sunghoon is completely drowning in you, but is trying to keep his composure, "Cause I definitely want you all to myself in the way that I've been in love with you for years and years and I don't intend in sharing."

You chuckle at him, "We're going to have to work on that, I think."

Sunghoon scoffs and suddenly lunges forward on the bench. His nose bumps against yours, "You're mine, Y/N. And I'm yours too."

His breath fans over your lips and you're so desperate to push your face forward and connect your mouths together, but he places a teasing thumb between your lips.

"Sunghoon," you grumble.

"Yes, sweets?"

"Can you just kiss me now?"

A smirk envelops his facade as he moves his thumb out of the way, "My pleasure."

Your lips slot together so naturally that you don't know how you've gone this long without connecting the other piece of the puzzle. You're thankful that the street is deserted as Sunghoon presses his lips on yours gently at first, but then more purposeful and deeper as you reciprocate and move your lips against his.

Kissing Sunghoon feels like fireworks exploding, butterflies in your stomach and the comforting  feeling of home all at once. One hand is caressing his cheeks, moving over the mole just under his eye on top of his cheek bone and the other is running through his hair. Sunghoon's hands are clasping your cheeks like he's afraid you're going to run or disappear as he deepens the kiss and slides his tongue into your mouth.

You whimper into his hold and let him take the lead. Everything has been leading up to this moment. You knew that time when you took him to a café to talk that this was going to be inevitable. Your heart was always going to be pulled to Sunghoon's and there was no use fighting it.

The famous saying that there's a very fine line between love and hate was all too true. The changes in your relationship over the years were always just sides on the same coin. At the end of the day, you completed each other.

"I love you, Y/N. You don't know how long I've been wanting to tell you that," Sunghoon mutters against your lips.

"Likewise, Hoonie," you press a soft and fleeting kiss on his swollen lips before you pull away properly, "But we should go somewhere more private."

Sunghoon coughs in surprise and begins to splutter, "O-oh? Damn, take me out on a date first!"

You rise to your feet and give him a disgusted expression, "Shit, Hoon. Not like that! Urgh, I'm taking it back."

Sunghoon chases after you in glee as you stomp away, "Wait, Y/N! Come back! You still haven't answered- what are we?"

"Back to enemies," you turn your upper body to glare at him, flipping him off with your middle fingers, "Boyfriend privileges revoked before they even started!"

You're practically sprinting away from him at this point and Sunghoon has never been happier running after someone as he feels his heart leaping out from his chest, "Boyfriend? Y/N, come back!"

"No!"

⋆꙳•❅*°⋆❆.ೃ࿔*:･*❆ ₊⋆

You watch from the stands as Sunghoon finishes up another run through of his free program after a small tweak to one of his elements. As he hits the final pose, you explode into claps and cheers.

"That was so clean," you praise beside Junho who was nodding approvingly.

Sunghoon skates over to the gate and sighs contently. Junho claps him on the back, "You're all done for the day, then. Good job, Sunghoon."

"Thanks, hyung," Sunghoon grins, "Is there anyone using the rink after me?"

"Hm, I don't think so? Usually it'd be Heeseung but they're not back yet from Canada," Junho ponders the question, "Are you gonna keep practising? Don't overwork yourself."

"No, I just thought I'd drag Y/N onto the ice today," he looks over at you, your expression turning into surprise, "You have your blades on you?"

Junho bids the two of you goodbye, reminding Sunghoon that he had some schedule tomorrow with a sponsor. You eye Sunghoon nervously, "Why do you wanna skate together?"

He shrugs nonchalantly, "It's been a while since we've properly shared the ice. I thought it'd be fun."

You leave him skating laps around the oval as you fetch your shoes from the locker room. Since you arrived in Seoul all those months ago, you've barely been skating- maybe twice a week when helping some of the younger girls you've been coaching. You're definitely out of practice, but you figure that you still have a little time left before you had to start getting used to skating all day, every day again ahead of the new season.

The shoes are a second skin to you and it will never feel foreign slipping them on no matter how long it's been. Your first steps on the ice are still confident - you haven't lost touch at all.

"Do you think we could have been a good pairs team?" you ask Sunghoon in amusement as he reached out a hand to you skating towards him. You crash into his body with a big 'oof!' as he envelops you into a warm hug. Thankfully, you're pretty appropriately dressed for the ice today.

"We probably could've been the best," Sunghoon nods along, "We trusted each other so much."

His past tense has your face falling in a frown that he quickly catches, "And I still trust you with my life. I'm working to make sure you will trust me again too."

Sunghoon's voice is soft as he releases you, but slides his fingers in between yours. He starts pulling you along side him slowly, just gliding beside each other.

"I love you, Sunghoon," you tell him suddenly, feeling so overjoyed at being by his side again on the ice at the second rink you called home together, "Thank you for trying with me again."

"No, thank you for letting me come back into your life," Sunghoon bounces back, sending you into a spin and then capturing your grip again, "Being with you makes me want to be better every day for you."

You feel so warm inside despite the temperature of the indoor arena as you move together in tandem. If you close your eyes, you can picture your 15 year old selves holding hands and leisurely skating around like couples at pop-up Christmas-time ice skating rinks. Instead, you were just two kids with the weight of the figure skating world's expectations on you, holding onto each other for support. 

"I don't think I want to leave at the end of this season," you admit quietly to him, "Everyone I love is here and I don't have any reasons to go back. I'll do my best to convince my federation and team, but I'm sure Taeyeon will find a rink for me in Seoul or lobby to have me here if there's space."

Sunghoon squeezes your hands assuringly, "Whatever decision that you make, I'll support you. If you're not allowed or it will take another season to sort everything, don't stress or worry about it. I'll be by your side."

You give him an appreciative look and nuzzle your head into his neck. Sunghoon twists to drop a searing kiss on your temple.

Time passes quickly as the two of you skate- at one point, you were playing a game of tag chasing each other all around the rink and pulling out your best tricks. Sunghoon was then curious on trying to pull off some pairs skating stunts, which you indulged for a bit like that couple's yoga challenge, but quickly had to shut down when he was getting too ambitious. Maybe you'll ask Taeyeon and Kibum to show you guys a few tricks one day.

As you were also done for the day, Sunghoon convinces you to come over to his apartment to watch a movie and have some dinner. Heeseung and Chaehyun were coming back later in the evening from Canada, so he proposed that you would tell your two best friends then the new update in your relationship. It's been a week since you got back from the states, but you had just missed your other best friends going to their own competition and they were far too preoccupied to talk.

"If you're gonna stay in Seoul, do you think you'll want to move out?" Sunghoon asks you as he prepares the food on the stove. Apparently, Sunghoon has been attempting to learn how to cook, but you'll be the judge of that since he used to be wary of going near the kitchen after a tragic ramen fire.

You're sitting on a stool at the breakfast bar, watching him work from the side. You volunteered to help, but Sunghoon was determined to cook for you himself, "Maybe Chae and I could move in together if her lease is up soon. We've always talked about doing that one day."

Your childhood home wasn't horrifically far, but anything closer to the rink and to your friends would always be more convenient. You've enjoyed spending time with your family again after all that lost time, but you think that it wouldn't hurt to move out again if you were going to stay in the city. It was just something you had to discuss with Taeyeon once you thought about it some more.

"Mhm, you two could move into a 2 bed in the building if there's one available," Sunghoon agrees, "Or maybe the 4 of us could get a house somewhere or something."

You raise an eyebrow at him, "Woah, take me out on a date first!"

Sunghoon groans at your teasing tone as he stirs the stew on the pot, "Speaking of, will you let me finally take you out this weekend?"

After you got back from the States, the two of you had been swarmed with work and haven't been able to fully explore the relationship that blossomed between you while you were away. You saw each other daily at Taereung, but you hadn't had time to go out together on an official date.

"Looking forward to it, Park," you chirp, "Is it gonna be a surprise?"

He nods knowingly and turns around to bring the pot of kimchi-jjigae over to the pot holder in front of you. The smell is inviting, warm and comforting, perfect for a chilly evening as it was outside. It smells like home and watching Sunghoon buzz around the kitchen collecting the cutlery and bowls feels all the more domestic. You could definitely get used to this.

"I really hope it tastes good," Sunghoon exhales as he takes the bar stool beside you and scoops out a portion of soup and rice for you, "Eat up, my Y/N."

You take the first scoop tentatively, still a bit unsure of how good his cooking will actually be, but when the flavours melt in your mouth and tingle your tastebuds, you squeeze your eyes shut in glee, "Urgh, Hoon, it's good. I'm surprised."

Sunghoon claps joyfully and begins to portion out his food too, "I can't wait for you to see all the tricks I have up my sleeve. I've had to learn a few things about life."

You watch him eat fondly, thinking about how exciting it is to learn about each other again and how you grew as people in the time apart. Knowing everything about a person isn't as exciting as the adventure of slowly discovering new things about each other that makes the person who they are now. The fall out isn't something you'd ever wish for again, but it's time to consider the positives instead of dwelling in sorrow.

"Do you want to stay over tonight?" Sunghoon presents casually as he slurps some broth.

His question has you choking on a piece of kimchi. Sunghoon simply laughs at you and pats your back almost teasingly. When you were in America, you maintained your boundaries in separate rooms as you didn't want to rush into anything, but you must've told Sunghoon that you had a late start the following morning and so did he.

You used to hold sleepovers as kids all the time until you hit puberty and your parents had to pull back on that. When you were in the dorms, you were spending so much time with each other anyway that it didn't feel necessary to have sleep overs. Why cram in one room when Sunghoon could just sneak back a few minutes to his own bed whenever you finished what you were doing?

"Nevermind," Sunghoon giggles melodiously as you eye him.

"No, no- I do. It's just that I've never stayed around a guy's place before," you're likely blushing as Sunghoon squeezes your cheeks.

"You're so cute, Y/N-ah," he coos at you, "But this is the kind of stuff we do while dating, right?"

"Us dating still seems so foreign," you wrinkle your face tight, "It makes me happy, but it's so strange."

Thankfully, Sunghoon doesn't take offence, "I know what you mean; it's definitely going to be a transition, but it's all I ever wanted so we're just gonna have to fight the awkwardness. We can start by overcoming cuddling tonight."

The way he phrases his words has you chortling along with him and he just rolls his eyes and urges you to eat up so you could get ready for the evening ahead. Once you finished your bowl,  packed up the leftovers in the fridge for Heeseung and washed the dishes while he dried, Sunghoon was rummaging through his room to find spares of everything to lend you since you were unprepared.

He had better skincare than you, so that wasn't a problem and his scents in his toiletries weren't so musky and masculine that it hurt your nose when you used them in the shower. Sunghoon was glad to remember that he bought his toothbrush in a pack previously, so you brushed your teeth together bumping hips and competing with each other to see who would spit first. He picked out a baggy shirt for you and some joggers that had a drawstring so you could be comfortable.

Eventually, you found yourselves with your legs tangled together on the couch after he dragged his duvet out to the living room. They had one of those modular couches that was L-shaped in the day, but could be moved around to create a sort-of bed situation that was perfect for movie nights. He had put on the latest Spider-Man film, remembering how you used to watch Andrew Garfield's franchise back when you were younger and you used to think he was so cute.

"Do you still think he's the best Spider-Man?" Sunghoon hums as he appears on the screen in what was once one of the exciting appearances in cinema.

"Yeah, but Tom Holland has played his version in so many movies now and he's really good," you reply after some thought, turning to find him incredibly close to your face, "Woah."

Sunghoon's arms were wrapped around your middle, but he pulled you closer to snuggle tighter, "You're so cold, baby."

You hide your face into his chest and muffle your voice against his shirt, "You're making me shy."

His body begins to vibrate as he breaks out in fits of giggles, "Trust me, I feel shy around you too. You honestly make my heart do crazy things without even trying."

You pound your fist against him, "Hoon, stop!"

"What?" he whines defensively, moving his hand up to your chin to guide you out of hiding, "Look at me."

Your cheeks are permanently red around your best friend as he gazes down at you with all the fondness in the world in his eyes, "Stop it or I'll leave!"

Sunghoon rolls his gleaming eyes playfully and nudges his nose against yours- something you quickly learned he loved to do before kissing you, "Nah, you love me too much to leave."

Instead of answering him, you just connect your lips together again, letting his natural warmth spread to your cold body. His arms tighten around you, pressing you up against him as he pressed rougher. He tasted like the sharp mint from your toothpaste, combined with his cherry lip balm that he had applied after, but there was also his own very distinct taste that you were growing more addicted to.

You feel him smile into the kiss before he squeezes at your waist and moves so that he was more hovering over you instead of beside you. Your heartbeat was thudding rapidly in your chest as he pulled away but then immediately attached his lips onto your neck in a spot that had you breathing out his name like it was sacred.

You must have been so preoccupied in Sunghoon that both of you missed the beeping of the keypad and the sound of the handle turning.

"Oh shit," Heeseung gasps as the front door swings open to give him a perfect view of the two of you.

You and Sunghoon let out a yelp that was more surprised from you but frustrated from him. He shoots the fellow skater a menacing glare, "Do you know how to knock?"

Heeseung scoffs at the two of you, "Well, yes. Except that you're in the living room and this is also my apartment. So happy you guys made up but can you keep making out in your room, please?"

At this point, you've shuffled so far away from Sunghoon and are hiding your face in the comforter in embarrassment. You wanted to tell them you were together, but that didn't mean you wanted Heeseung to catch you two.

"Who's making out?" you hear a familiar voice fade in behind Heeseung, "You left your passport with me, Heeseung-"

Chaehyun stops in her tracks when her eyes land on you on the couch, looking all bashful with Sunghoon emitting an annoyed aura. She presses Heeseung's passport into his chest without breaking eye contact with you as she approaches you menacingly.

"Y/N, Sunghoon. Do you have something to tell us?"

"Yes, but Hee walked in before we could get a warning that you were back," you sheepishly say.

"I actually texted the groupchat when we pulled up to the parking garage," Heeseung interjects, but Sunghoon just flips him off.

"This-" she points between you and Sunghoon, "Must have happened in America, right?"

"Yeah, we just wanted to wait until you two got back," Sunghoon shrugs, "Speaking of which, congrats on bringing home two golds guys."

Your eyes widen in remembrance as you leap up to crush your best friend in a hug, "Oh my God, yeah! I'm so happy for you Chae. And you, Hee."

Chaehyun rubs your back and nuzzles herself into you, "I guess there's much to celebrate tonight. Do you guys wanna drink? I'm really happy for the two of you as well."

You pull back from Chaehyun and direct your sparkling eyes over to your boyfriend, "Yeah, me too."

Your eyes dart over to Heeseung as well, who was on a sudden mission to find any and all alcoholic beverages he had in the apartment. Sunghoon springs up from his position, already scolding his elder for the mess he was making in the cupboards trying to investigate. Chaehyun is beaming at you and you feel the sincerity in her expression. Having seen you at the lowest points in your life, it's a happy departure to where you are now.

She can feel you start to get emotional and reminiscent, so Chaehyun simply pulls you back into a warm embrace. The happiness you feel is so new, just like your relationship with Sunghoon, but you would never trade it for the whole world.

The road to this moment was rocky and it felt never-ending at times. There were so many moments you felt so lost on your place in the world, but as Sunghoon returns to you and pulls you into his body, your heartbeats syncing together slowly, you feel that your way back home was worth it. 

a/n: thank you millions for reading. find my masterlist here & all likes, comments, reblogs and feedback are so, so appreciated <3

[alloftheimaginesblog]

ready (klaus mikaelson)

plot: klaus always knew that one day you'd take him up on his offer.

character: female vampire reader x klaus mikaelson

inspired by something similar he says to caroline

"One day, love, you'll come to me. Might be in two years, might be two hundred but mark my words, you'll realise I was right along. I am the only one who can fulfil your wildest desires and your largest dreams. When you realise that, you'll come knocking on my door and then... well, love, then I'll give you the world."

It had been three and a half years since Klaus Mikaelson had said this to you. Three long years. He'd came into your life as a villain, you were supposed to hate him. He had killed, harmed and tortured so many of your friends (and his sister had tortured you a fair few times) and yet, he was always so delicate and gentle with you. He'd been interested in you pretty much ever since he came to Mystic Falls. You'd hated him... or at least, you tried.

He had gotten under your skin all of those years ago. He'd saved you too many times to count. He had shown you kindness and compassion, had recognised you for who you were; Klaus had seen you. You'd gotten to see a glimpse of the human side to him, not the scary big bad wolf, you'd started to see him. And when he left, with an invite extended your way, it took everything in you to say no.

Klaus hadn't stepped foot in Mystic Falls since he left and yet, every few months or so, he would write to you. Seldom did you respond but you enjoyed reading about his travels. Each time he wrote, he would send photos of the new place he was visiting usually with a list of reasons as to why you'd love it there with drawings he'd done and every single time he wrote, he attached a plane ticket to whatever destination with your name on it. You never used them, instead they gathered dust in a drawer which was full of his old letters. Klaus also always wrote exactly where he was staying at the end of the letter so you knew exactly how to get to him. Periodically, you'd go through and read some of them. They always smelled like him and had the same send off each time.

'Unequivocally yours, Klaus'

You knew that if you needed him, he would be there immediately. He had promised you as such. And the one time you called for help when Caroline got bit by a werewolf, Klaus couldn't be there in person but he sent Elijah with a few vials of his blood (extras for any future emergencies). He would do anything for you and all he wanted was the chance to show you as such.

So when this month's letter arrived with details of his new adventure complete with a plane ticket to Italy, you decided to take the chance you'd regretted not taking three and a half years prior. Your friends were oddly supportive which surprised you but Bonnie had told you she wanted you to be happy and if he's what made you happy then so be it. Damon wasn't impressed but he rarely ever was. Stefan urged you to your happy ending. Caroline approved, she'd seen the way Klaus would've done anything for you so even though she didn't like him, she knew that he was the real deal. Elena was supportive, she'd gone for the 'bad guy' in Damon so she understood the inner conflict and told you that it was okay to let yourself be happy.

So, you packed a bag and headed to Italy.

Getting there was the easy bit; the hard bit was finding the courage to knock on the front door. Your heart hammered in your chest as you stood on the grounds of what you could only describe as a small castle. It was beautiful, with glorious gardens and fragrant flowers. You swallowed hard before taking a breath, this is what you came for, and you knocked three times.

After a few seconds, you could hear someone's voice approaching. Klaus.

"-I didn't ask you to go to such lengths, brother, though I have to say I do appreciate it-"

He opened the door and his expression turned from one of mild annoyance to complete shock.

"Elijah, more important matters have emerged, I'll speak to you later." He hung up, pocketing his phone quickly. He looked good. The Italian sun suited him, turning his hair a shade blonder and making his blue eyes pop, "(y/n)..." A slow, wide smile spread onto his face.

You swallowed hard, "Hi, Klaus."

He stepped aside, silently inviting you into his castle, and with a small smile you breezed past him. He closed the door and led you through to a grand room with various couches and paintings. You looked around incredulously, "This place... it's incredible."

Klaus smiled, "I told you that you'd like this one."

You looked at him and felt nerves bubble in your stomach. You'd came all this way and now... you didn't know what to do. Klaus eyed you curiously, trying to gauge how you were feeling, "Do you need something?" Oh, how he hoped that you were here for him but he had to be sure.

You shook your head, finding words too hard to find, and instead looked back to the paintings, "These are beautiful, did you do these?"

Klaus appeared at your side, making you jump slightly, "Sorry, love," he smirked. He was so close to you, so near that you could smell his cologne. Your heart raced. His hand reached out past you to touch the painting, "I painted all of these, yes. This one is my favourite."

"The colours are lovely," you nodded.

Klaus smiled, quickly vanishing and then returning to your side, "Here, look in the mirror and then look at the painting."

You frowned at him but complied regardless of your confusion. He handed you a small hand mirror which you looked into and then at the painting, "I don't get it," you said to which he urged you to look again and then you realised, "my eyes."

Klaus grinned, "There we go, love," he beamed proudly, "my favourite colours and shades to use. They crop up a lot in my paintings. Go, look," he encouraged you forwards, "take a look and you'll see how often you feature in my paintings."

For a moment, you walked around the room, soaking in the subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) hints of your eye colour in every single one of his paintings. It touched you causing you to feel warm inside and you couldn't understand why. You looked at him. He stood on the other side of the room watching you with awe filled eyes, "But why?" You asked softly with tears filling your eyes, "Why me?"

In an instant, he was in front of you, chest touching yours, with his eyes locked with yours, "Oh, love," he whispered, hand reaching out to graze your cheek softly, "It's always been you."

You looked up at him, "You asked me if I needed something earlier." Klaus's brow furrowed and his hand stilled - fear; fear that you weren't here for him, fear that you needed something and then you'd disappear again. "I do need something, Klaus."

"Anything."

"I want... I need you." Your admission was quiet but he heard you loud and clear, "For years, I've regretted saying no to your offer to come with you. I want to live, Klaus. I want to be free. I want to be happy and that means letting myself be happy with... you."

"Me?" Klaus asked.

You nodded as your own hand found its way to rest on his chest, "I'm ready to fall in love with you, Klaus. I just hope I'm not too late."

He grinned, wider than you'd ever seen him smile, "You're right on time, love," he said before his lips crashed to yours. And for the first time ever, you let yourself give in.

[pellucid-constellations]

Liminality

Pairing: Azriel x Rhysand's Sister!Reader

Summary: Feyre has learned something about Rhysand's late sister. She decides to speak to Azriel about it—to learn more about the small flecks of grief painted on Azriel's face. She's left with far more than she can cope with.

Word count: 1.2k

Warnings: Angst!! Sadness!! Grief!! (and I might want to fix it)

a/n: I kind of changed things with the timeline of Rhysand's family so that's shifted a bit. I really enjoy the theory that his sister is Azriel's mate so here's part of my take! And what if I poke holes in the plot and make her come back to life what then??

prequel to this fic

Main Masterlist ♡

~~

Feyre thinks that in another life she would be able to ask him outright. Azriel sits across from her at the table, a small smile playing at his lips as the rest of the room pokes fun at Cassian, and Feyre feels the words teetering on the tip of her tongue. She couldn’t—wouldn’t. 

Rhysand had told her in confidence. Well, Rhysand had told her in an entirely different context, desperate to share more about his sister on a night that felt too difficult to cope alone. She supposes it would have come out eventually—that Rhysand’s sister was also Azriel’s mate. 

Feyre could not imagine the pain funneling through Azriel every day. Feyre could not conceptualize what it would have felt like to lose Rhys and lose him for good, with no Cauldron to bring him back from the beyond. She did not know how he was standing or breathing or smiling at the table with the rest of their family. 

Granted, Feyre also understands that it had been several years since her death—since your death. Feyre is not judging Azriel, nor is she expecting him to be a shell of himself for eternity just because you were dead. But Feyre wants to ask him something because very little about this situation makes sense to her. She had only learned that you were his mate last night. 

So, later in the night, when almost everyone has gone to bed, Rhysand presses his lips to Feyre’s forehead with a knowing look. She hums out a goodbye and remains sitting with Azriel on the balcony of the house, a bristling chill revealing her secrets as Azriel casually glances over at her. 

“Let's hear it,” he prompts, some of the joy from the room still lingering in his tone. 

Feyre thinks about feigning confusion, but it would be pointless in the face of the spymaster. She pivots until she’s leaning her side against the back of her chair. Azriel raises an amused brow. 

“You don’t—You don’t have to talk about this if it makes you uncomfortable.” His amused brow shifts into intrigue. Feyre continues, “Rhys told me more about his sister. About y/n—how she was your mate. And I was just wondering… well I’ve never heard you talk about her.” 

Several emotions flit across Azriel’s face. Feyre has a hard time isolating each one, but she finds pain and fondness and conflict within the picture. 

She wants to take the words back. She knows she shouldn't have asked, and the cycle of emotions Azriel seems to be experiencing confirms that truth so glaringly. She opens her mouth to rectify the damage—to say anything that might suck her words back into the cage of her mind, when Azriel speaks. 

“Is,” he nods, his head turned in her direction while his gaze roots on a point along the ground. “She is my mate. Then and now. And I don’t mind talking about her, Feyre. It’s not a bad thing to remember her. I can see how nervous you are.” 

“I just didn’t want to bring anything up that you might not want to remember,” Feyre extends. 

Azriel smiles, soft, bittersweet. “I want to remember everything about her.” 

“Will you tell me about her, then? I’ve heard Rhys’s recount, but I have a feeling yours may be different.” 

Azriel chuckles, the sound echoing in the shifting of his shoulders, and then he pauses, his brows coming together. He leans forward until his elbows rest on his knees and his hands meet in prayer over his mouth. Contemplation, Feyre deduces, but also grief and love and the myriad of other feelings she’s asking him to experience.

“She was everything,” Azriel begins. “She was headstrong and hated being told what to do, but she also cared about everyone and everything far more than she let on. Far more than she should have.” 

“Sounds familiar.”

Azriel’s laugh was a sardonic breath this time around. “Yes, a family trait, I’d guess.” 

“What about when you knew you were mated,” Feyre asks, voice low. 

“I’d known her for several decades by that time. I wasn’t around when she was born or growing up, but things had settled more by the time we met. She was around thirty, I think,” he considers, taking pauses to think and reminisce. “And so she was nearing her centennial when it snapped. Of course, I’d already been in love with her for most of her life, and she’d already been sworn off men by her brother for the rest of it.” 

“Typical,” Feyre scoffs. 

“Yes, he never has quite kicked that overprotectiveness.” 

Azriel wets his lips and then leans back once more, hands splayed out on the arms of the chair. His wings are casually draped along the back, but Feyre can tell by the way his shadows are whizzing around him that Azriel is struggling in some capacity. 

“When it snapped Rhysand obviously punched me in the face.” Feyre stifled a laugh that was mirrored in Azriel’s smirk. His expression then shifted. “But, Gods, I would have let him hit me a hundred times if it meant having her. I can’t remember a time I felt happier, even with the massive bruise under my eye. And Rhys came around, obviously—after he remembered who I was and that my intentions with his sister were never going to be sinister.” 

And then Feyre asked a stupid question, one she would beat herself up over for months to come. “Do you miss her?” 

Azriel’s brows pinched together once more. “Yes,” he replied, voice gravelly and sounding lost. “I don’t know if that’s what you would call this feeling, actually. I feel as if… it feels like the days are never actually over. Like I’m constantly waiting for something. It’s visceral, almost. I… I’ve never said I miss her out loud.” 

The hollow feeling inside of Feyre feels all-consuming. Each breath she releases feels as if it’s sucked out of her near the end and then difficult to catch once restarted. Feyre gently clutches the material at her chest and then places her other hand on Azriel’s knee. 

“I’m sorry—” 

“No, don’t be,” Azriel interrupts, clearing his throat and scrubbing a hand over his face. He leans a bit, placing his hand over hers. “I don’t get to talk about her enough. Others are afraid. I… I miss her. I miss talking about her.” 

Feyre wants to say more; her throat feels tight and she doesn’t know what words might make him feel better, but she has the overwhelming desire to try. Nothing comes out. She doesn’t know what to say and doesn’t think she ever will. 

The bittersweet sadness on Azriel’s face is making her feel nauseated. There has to be some way to fix this for him, she begins to think, but the only solution is to bring you back. Feyre can do many things, but she can’t do that. She can’t do anything but sit with him as the wind continues to gently glide over their skin and wonder what he’s thinking about. Wonder if he’s thinking about you and everything he was missing. Wonder if this stage of liminality will ever pass for him. If he wants it to.

read the prequel to this fic

[lenneygirl4ever]

the alchemy || Will Lenney

“where’s the trophy? he just comes running over to me”

part one of THE ALCHEMY. part two here

pairing: will lenney x fem!reader

warnings & tags: friends to lovers. idiots with tension. idiots in denial. slowish burn. lots of nerdy football talk + a side of Willne.

summary: The two times you were recruited to play in a Sidemen charity match, and the one time you score.

a/n: hello!!! this is based on the 2022 sidemen charity match, but for convenience purposes, it's set in 2023. for the plot, of course.

also, i’m tired of looking at this so this is being posted without review! i promise part two will have more will, i’m just setting us up for success in part one. you’ll absolutely love it.

please enjoy <3

wc: idek at this point

The buzz that interrupted your sleep wasn’t what concerned you, it’s the fact that after you had hung up the first and second time, there was a third call. Begrudgingly, you toss your sheets aside and sit up, eyeing the phone on the bedside table. To no surprise, it was Simon.

You were no stranger when it came to working with the Sidemen. Starting off as a crew member who was good with a camera, slowly you were incorporated into videos, and eventually had the confidence to create your own platform. After leaving the Sidemen to focus on building your solo career, most of your audience didn't know where you gained your footing, becoming a bigger public figure outside of their work.

Getting a phone call from Simon wasn't uncommon, needless to say. You were always ready to film, to bring in new ideas for them, to be on set. After all, you had been friends with the lads for years.

"Hello?" you croak, trying to smooth down the hair that was knotted in the back of your head.

"Y/n! How are you, mate?" Simon's voice was overly chipper and sweet, too sweet. You eye your phone for a moment before pressing it back up to your ear. It was too early in the morning for either of you to be awake.

"Christ, Simon, I know you aren't just calling me at seven in the morning to ask how I am," you replied. Simon sighs briefly before letting out an airy chuckle.

"Alright, I need to ask you for a favor." That's what you were expecting. His voice hesitant and low, it made you wonder what this could really be about.

"Okay, go on then," you yawn. You weren't sure why Simon was being so ominous; you had done the lad loads of favors in the past. Bringing in extra camera crew, reaching out to other influencers, helping plan out events-

"Would you sub in for Andres for the charity match next week? I know it's last minute, but he had other conflicts, and you're one of my best mates. You-" Simon rambles before you swiftly interject.

"Simon, what are you waffling on about? You can't be serious," you say seriously. The grogginess from waking up immediately disappears, and you begin to regret picking up the phone.

"I know it's mad, but we've tossed around a ball quite a bit before-"

"I haven't seriously played footy since I was in high school! I can't imagine the shit I'd get if I were to even step foot into that stadium."

"I know-"

"And I'm the only girl! That's like a misogynist's nightmare, a woman who can think and compete!" Getting on your feet, you pace around your room like a madman. Your free hand finds its way into your hair, coarsing through it multiple times, stressfully.

"Would you let me finish? Then you can decide if it's bollocks or not," Simon asked finally. You heave out a breath of air and then hum in response. The least you could do is give him time to try to convince you.

"Look, it's the first time a lot of them have played football, and some of them play like it's the first time. It's really about having a good time, " he explains, which admittedly puts some of your worries at ease- and gets a small laugh out of you.

"Also.." he says hesitantly, hitching his breath as he trails off. You roll your eyes and groan. Of course, there's more to it; there always is. You sit back onto the edge of the bed, foot impatiently tapping on the wood floor.

"I may have called Will, and he may have told me to ask you; he promised me that with enough begging.. you'd say yes," he says, almost like a question. There's a small hint of teasing when he says it, and you can practically see the prat smiling through the screen.

Your end of the call goes silent. A flush starting at the tips of your ears and growing at the bulbs of your cheeks.

..

In 2018, the day before the charity match, you met Will in person for the first time. You knew of him through brief passing and mentions of him from Cal and the other Sidemen. Yet you never spoke to him until you were messing around with your camera during practice, getting ready to film the match the next day.

"This is who I was telling you about, Will," Cal smiles, grabbing your attention from the camera. You peer over your shoulder to see a younger lad with dark hair standing beside him. You politely set the camera down on the bench and extend your hand out to him.

"Hi, I'm y/n, I've heard good things about you!" you smile, and he leans down, weakly taking your hand and shaking it.

"Hello," he responds, his once loud chatter with Cal made you assume he'd be much more talkative. But now he is quiet and fidgety, and it makes you wonder if you've already made a bad first impression.

"Y/n is our best camerawomen. I ought to get you familiar with her; maybe you can get some good screen time." Cal smirked. Will shoves him lightly with a chuckle.

"I'm not all bad, I reckon," he insists, and you put your hands up defensively.

"Hey, we'll just have to see on the field, won't we?" you express, grabbing the large equipment and getting ready to move it inside. You stand up, getting a better look at his face. He's tall, his hair short and freshly cut, his jawline is carved out sharply, making it hard to go unnoticed.

"Cheeky," Will commented, crossing his arms over each other. And unknowingly, a grin had worked its way onto your face, your tongue pressing against the inside of your cheek. You shrug,

"I gotta get going, it was nice meeting you Will,"

..

Since then, you and Will have kept in contact frequently. He interacted with you on social media, had you come to feature in his videos, and texted you almost every day. Seeing one another once every few months had become every weekend when you moved closer to London. And you can bet that this didn't go unnoticed by anyone. Sharing clothes, traveling together, posting each other, seeing each other more than your own family— you can only assume why everyone has their presumptions.

Yet, you were great at denying, avoiding, and more importantly ignoring these blistering questions on if they or won’t they.

"So.. you called Will first, before calling me?" you ask slowly, processing it yourself. The pads of your fingers rub against your temple, then smoothing your palm across your cheek hoping it would brush away the pink that dusted your face.

"Yeah," Simon says quickly. "Is it more convincing now? "

"Fuck off,"

"I know it is," he insists. You mutter profanities under your breath before letting it go silent.

Because it is much more convincing knowing that Will had that kind of faith and trust in you. It's more convincing knowing the person closest to you would be right by your side. You weigh out the options in your head. If you do play, you'll get to say you played in front of 30,000 people, raised money for charity, and more importantly, were able to help out some of your closest friends.

"Simon, I don't know.." You mutter hesitantly, biting the nail on your thumb. Sure, you had played footy competitively in high school and tossed a ball around here and there with the lads, but other than that, you hadn't really played in a few years now.

"C'mon, you don't have to be any good, it's for charity y/n! You have to! There will be loads of fans happy that you're playing!" Simon coaxed. You shake your head instantly, knowing that half the boys lived and breathed football.

“You can’t say I don’t have to be any good when you’re probably one of the best players out there.” Countering his argument, you can tell you're at the breaking point. He's cracked you down efficiently, being nice, complimenting you, bringing Will into it- It's working so well you almost hate him for it.

“I’ve exhausted my options, y/n, please, this one time, and I’ll never ask again.” Simon protests. You huff, exasperated, and without letting another beat pass,

"Alright,"

"Alright?" he repeats, the surprise evident in his tone. You gnaw at your bottom lip, adn squeezed your eyes shut before speaking again.

"Yeah, okay, put me in." You decide finally. You can hear movement on the other end and a few other voices shout in delight. Of course, he couldn't be alone when he made the phone call.

"Oh my god, this will be legendary, thank you, thank you, thank you," Simon begins excitedly, which brings a smile to your face. Simon, even though he always was teetering on the edge of your limit, was charming and kind and that's what makes it hard to deny him.

"You're playing center, by the way. See you in a week mate!" and the phone call clicks. There, you're left to stare at your phone screen, watching as you get added to a group chat and texts start to roll in.

One week, seven days, to magically get good at football again. Right, well, it’s much too late to turn back now.

"Cheers," muttering to yourself. You fall back onto the bed, checking your messages to see a new one from Will.

"wanna show this novice the ropes?"

Word obviously spreads fast, is the first thing you think. And then you snort, with a quick eye roll, the pads of your fingers drumming against the screen.

"fuck off" you begin to type but instead you text back,

“pitch at 6 sharp"

And almost immediately Will texts back,

“wouldn’t miss it :)”

⚽️...

You arrive to the pitch first, bringing an old ball covered in dirt from when you had last dribbled with Chris. Will arrives shortly after, a wide smile and an excited pep to his jog.

“Six sharp!” he says, checking his watch to show you it's exactly 6pm. Will is very timely; he’s considerate of people's time and even makes an extra effort to arrive early. He never wants to be the wanker who shows up late and wastes others time and efforts.

"That ball is just filthy, innit?" he comments, his true Geordie accent making a clear appearance. You roll your eyes quickly.

“I don't see yours anywhere,” you respond, finishing up tying the laces of your shoes. You rock on your feet a few times, creasing the shoe and getting it to warp around your feet snugly.

"Fair enough." Immediately, Will picks the ball up and twirls it between his fingers. "What should we do first?"

You both practice dribbling, passing, and shooting. Eventually, moving on to striking and stealing, which gets aggressive, causing you to have bruises all along your legs. Will thinks that after a while, it's a good idea to mess around so you both don't end up hating each other. The time passes by swiftly, the sun setting behind you both before you realize it.

The sky is highlighted with hues of orange, yellow, and a deep red in the horizon. You turn to look at Will; his shoulder grazes your side, and as if on cue, he looks at you, too.

He silently smiles, and for a second it’s all it is, but then his hand comes up and brushes the cool of your cheekbone. He brushes the stray hair that fell, tucking it behind your ear. Smoothing down any hairs that stuck out on the back of your head with his palm.

Will always find an excuse to touch you, to be physically closer. He’s an affectionate person, you’ve always riddled it as. Oh, there’s a stray hair on your face, oh a piece of fuzz on your sweater, don’t worry if you’re nervous— his hand crawls its way onto the small of your back. And every time he did something like this, your feelings soared and free-fall in the air. You don’t know how much longer you can swallow down the shyness you feel when it happens.

Instead, you give him a small shove.

“Stop it,”

“I was just helpin’ ya,” his voice squeaks.

“Just like how you helped get Simon to convince me to play in the match next week?” You shove the ball into his chest, backing up, motioning him to play. He lets out an airy chuckle, rolling the ball onto the field and dribbling it between his feet.

“Heard about that didn’t you?”

He kicks it toward you.

“Mhmm. “

And you kick it, hard, right back.

“I didn’t help him; all I did was suggest that he ask you because you’re reliable.” Will tried to dribble around you, but it rolled just far away enough for you to steal it.

Will runs towards the goal post, attempting to block you or maybe even tackle you, you aren’t sure. From the times you’ve watched Will play, his limbs tend to fly around and it’s like he’s just experienced walking for the first time.

“And not because you know I wouldn’t say no to the prat?”

“Look, to make it up to you I’ll score you a goal at the game,” Will offers, making you raise your eyebrows. He says semiseriously, but you have a feeling it’s more joking than anything. He was always good with banter anyway.

“Yeah right,” You walk back, running up to the ball and kicking it with the side of your foot— flying into the right corner of the net.

Wills eyes widen as he watches you jog over to grab the ball again.

“And you’re the one who needs practice?” he pipes, forgetting about the conversation. You smile shyly and shake your head, grabbing the ball and handing it to Will.

"You think too highly of me, Will." His hands cup yours, causing you to look up at him. The eye contact is soft, yet his eyes squint, and you notice the small clench of his jaw.

"I don't think so. I reckon others think the world of you as well, " Will retorted seriously.

There it is again. What is so small and meaningless to him is the grandest gesture you could ever receive. Whatever way you feel is growing, and you're letting it kill you. You can hear it in the silence, see it with the lights off, and feel it when he steps into a room. It has never been clearer to you than now.

Will notes the silence on your end, reeling back his hands and letting the ball drop to the ground. He scratches the back of his neck before sweeping the ball between his feet and turning around.

"We should focus, shouldn't we? Keep practicing," he mutters absentmindedly. The words are caught in your throat, itching on the tip of your tongue. It takes every atom of your being not to blurt out your every thought. You try to ground yourself by moving your fingers, shaking off the tingling feeling Will left. Your mouth opens to say something, anything, but it snaps shut at the sight of the geordie man looking back at you.

So, instead, you ignore the interaction completely.

"Yeah, let's do that, practice."

And that’s what you did. Every day for a week, you both played until your fingers were numb and noses pink from the chill. The sun would be long gone, the stars visible in the dark, the dim lights that lit the field flickering during the times when they were ready to turn off.

And every night, when Will offered to take you home, you said yes. Will would walk on the side of the sidewalk closest to the road, his shoulder would bump into yours, and you would listen quietly to anything he had to say. He would go on and on and on the entire way home, and you still would ask if he wanted to come inside your flat for a few.

A few minutes would be you showing him your next video, and then you would cook together, and he would sit on your couch and scroll through his phone. The time moved quicker than it did on the field, causing you both to stay up late into the night.

“Where are you going?” You question from the couch, eyeing the way he begins to walk over to the door. He stands up straighter than before, looking at his phone, and then back up at you.

“Home, it’s late,” he reminded.

“Exactly. Stay, don’t act like you haven’t before,” you insist, already going to grab a few blankets and pillows for Will on the couch.

Some nights weren’t always like this. Sometimes, you’d watch something on the telly, and he’d scroll through his phone. Your body would press against his casually, like you two have done for months. Except you're more weary and hesitant, feeling like your every move was a gesture of something more.

For a week it felt like you two were playing house. It was odd, and you knew it. Everyone knew it. When James would call Will there would be quiet snickering, loud teasing. Faith and Sabina would ask for updates after seeing both of your story posts. When Simon called Will to see if he was coming to training day, he asked to speak to you knowing you’d be around.

Yet this didn’t stop the overnights at your flat, it didn’t stop Will from doing his work from your room, it didn’t prevent you from doing loads of laundry together, and it definitely didn’t stop you both from taking the train together to the hotel the day before the match.

⚽️…

The ground below you rumbles from the audience in the stadium. As the time passes you know it’s getting closer and closer to the start of the match. Your leg bounces up and down as you stretch in your own locker room, your hands shake putting on the red uniform, there’s a dryness in your throat that not even all the water in the world could wash away.

“You alright?” Wills asks quietly as his hand slips onto your shoulder. He’d been asking if you were okay ever since you lot left the hotel. And everytime you responded,

“Yeah, yeah,” except your eyebrows were knitted together, your hands picked at the beds of your nails, and you could barely interact with anyone without feeling like passing out.

“Don’t psyche yourself out, darlin. I make a fool of myself every year, all you have to do is show up and you’ve done your part!” he says delicately. You inhale through your nose at the nickname, jaw clenching to focus on breathing. All you do is nod, giving him a small smile.

You aren’t sure what will kill you first, the charity match, or the yearning in your heart. And hopefully, it’ll be the charity match.

Once everyone begins to stand, it’s three o’clock, and just like that the world begins to move incredibly fast. The lads begin two straight lines, moving through the tunnel swiftly. They all seem so confident and excited and you don’t think you even remember how to run. With Will standing infront of you, he’s the only thing that is blocking you and your vision from the roaring crowd outside.

Forgetting his gopro is on, you tap on Wills shoulder

“I’m literally shitting myself right now Will,” he laughs and he takes your hand in to his for a moment with a small squeeze,

“We’ll be all right, swear,” and by the time he turns around, you’re out in the field and the roar of the audience is jarring. You’re convinced your head whips an entire 360 to get a good look at how big the crowd was.

Once you’re down the field, you’re shaking hands with the opposing team. You nod politely and greet your friends, making polite, quick, small talks with JJ, Vik, Josh, Harry, and then Simon. You brief him with a handshake and shove at him lightly,

“God if this goes to shit, i’m blaming it all on you, ya know that?” you joke and he laughs loudly.

“I’ll keep that in mind, y/n”

You greet Chris, Tobi, and Jimmy finally before jogging your way to center to get ready for the kick off. You look back and squint your eyes to see Will as right wing, he can see you and he shows you a thumbs up. And for a moment, it washes away your nerves, until the whistle blows and the game has begun.

..

The first half of the match goes by incredibly fast. Chunkz and Niko make the first goals of the match, allowing for the teams spirits to remain high. You’re able to say that you helped assist Niko with his goal, tackling the ball under four large men. The next goal was made by Vik, and as a good sport, and friend, you made your way over to congratulate him properly.

You stay close to Hp and Chunkz during this time, the only two you feel like trust you enough with the ball. The banter is great but the encouragement they give you is better.

As the sweat beads on your forehead, your chest rises and falls quickly. Everytime you manage to catch your breath, you’re off running again. Your eyes squint looking towards Danny, seeing him get ready for the throw-in. You look around at your team and you eyes are quickly looking for Will, to see he’s already looking at you.

There’s a small smile followed by a little wave. You feel your chest tighten again, this overwhelming feeling is all so sudden and new. The sweaty palms, the overthinking, the flush on your neck. Hopefully it’s all from nerves, and not just from the Geordie man.

The moment ended as quick as the moment came, because Danny Aaron’s then throws the ball into the field. Luckily for you, you were on the edge of the box. The ball comes rolling toward you fast, you’re able to dribble it between your feet, swiftly moving past Callux. You decide to create space between the two of you, but with the other team circling in on you, the only thing to do was shoot.

So, you shoot.

The ball is headed straight towards the net and looks like it could make it past the post, but to your disappointment, the ball bounces off the post and goes right back onto the field.

“Shit,” you mutter out, a hand wracking through your hair ready to run after the ball again. But, Theo is quick to take the ball from under one of the lads on the opposing team, making a quick recovery by striking and making the goal.

A breath you didn’t know you’d been holding finally came out. While you smile and clap for Theo, your energy is low and you are so tired.

“Y/n!” a familiar voice yells from behind you, and you’re quick to turn around. Wills hair is pushed back and sweaty, yet he doesn’t think twice before engulfing you into a bone crushing hug.

“Not making a fool of myself am I?” you ask, pulling away to look at him. Will chuckles and shakes his head immediately,

“That’s a joke, right? You’re ridiculous,” he says sincerely and breathlessly. You thank him briefly before substitutions start to happen, allowing there to be some down time.

Which give you the time to remember what he said to you the first time you had practiced together.

“You still promised me a goal,” You mention, before looking into the gopro on his chest, “Will owes me a goal today, and I better get it,”

“I didn’t promise anything,” he counters quickly. Your head tilts at this, with wide eyes, and he nervously laughs and rubs his neck. Even though he knows you’re joking, he still feels the need to fulfill it.

“You know what, I’ll.. do my best to. I can promise you that, y/n.” And without warning, the lot of you are off again.

…

4 - 3

After the first half of the match, it’s looking promising for your team. Theo scored another goal, and spirits were still high. You were able to switch out and take a needed breather. But after the second half of the match started, that’s when your team started to take a tumble.

You were off the pitch until Pinero got injured, and needed a substitute. So with half a bottle of gatorade and an electrolyte packet in your system, you hopped to your feet and ran back on the field. Once you hear that Simon is getting switched out with Chris, you sigh.

“Fuckin’ hell,” you mutter under your breath, knowing that Chris is a force to be reckoned with. Speed also gets switched off the field, and you’re not sure without him you guys could win. You look around hoping to find a familiar face, but for some reason you can’t find him. Where is the left wing player?

Your thoughts are interrupted by the blow of the whistle, allowing the match to continue. You see the ball fly in the air, and you’re on your feet, going wide incase someone needs to pass. But the ball goes farther and faster than you could run, that’s when you see Will.

Will runs from left back and goes towards the net like he’s a striker. He runs right past Ethan and Harry, getting a close range of the ball. Once Chunkz taps it down, Will slides toward the ball, knocking it into the net.

In the 80’ minute, Will scores what could be the final goal of the match.

“Oh my god,” you say aloud, mouth agape.

In the moment you got tunnel vision. All you could see is Will getting on his feet and spin on his heels looking for something, someone. Everyone starts to run towards Will, to congratulate him, to dogpile on him. But when his eyes land on you, he bolts toward you with all his might.

As he’s running, he’s yelling something, pointing at you. He says it multiple times, too quick for you to make out.

“What!?” You yell breathlessly, leaning forward like you were going to be able to magically tell what he said. But without warning Will comes crashing into you, the impact causing you to stumble backwards, almost losing your footing.

Guess you’ll have to find out what he said later.

When you pull away, you grab onto his shoulders firmly, bouncing with delight.

“Did you see that? I haven’t scored a goal like that ever, i’ve always been in the back—“

“I know! I know!” you cut in between his excitement.

“I’m so glad you were here to see that—“ He’s quickly cut off by the rest of the team congratulating him. Patting him on the shoulder, squeezing him into a brief hug, Chris even comes over and says he’s done well.

You begin to back off to get back into the center field, watching as the smile on Wills face takes over him completely. He radiates warmth, sunshine, and complexities. The ache with quiet yearning, watching him celebrate. There was nothing in the world like it, and if it meant having Will this way rather than not at all- you’ll live with this ache forever.

8 - 7

The match finishes briefly after Will scores. Manny scoring at the 86’ minute tying up the two teams. And Simon, of course, gets the last goal of the match putting his team first. Your team is able to score another point, Theo ends up stepping up to kick the ball and Pie face blocks it from the net. Meaning, the Sidemen have won. Regardless, everyone is in a good mood no matter the turnout. All the players rush towards the field, congratulating each other, briefing the match that just ended.

You thank Hp and Chunkz for a good game, and shake Theos hand for being another good defensive player with you.

Simon makes his way over to you and he puts his hands on the tops of your shoulders, shaking you gently.

“See! It wasn’t so bad was it?” he teased. You roll your eyes and lick the dryness off your lips, admittedly, it wasn’t so bad. After you got over the burning in your chest, the ache in your sides, and the soreness in your thighs.

“Uh no, no, wasn’t too bad. I stayed with Hp and Chunkz a lot of the time, we were all playing really well,” you say before asking how Simon think he did.

“I got a hat trick and three assist, what more could I have asked for?”

“That’s fair,” is all you can respond with. All you can think of is the times you could’ve tried to score, the times you weren’t able to make a good pass, or interfere a pass. Simon reads your mind as he sees the conflict on your face, quick to bring you back to reality.

“I mean you were really great. A few assists, you and Theo on defense was a nightmare, there is no complaints on my end. I hope you consider coming back and playing again, Y/n, seriously.” Simon squeezes your shoulder one last time before he sees Harry, the two rushing towards one another excitedly.

You turn around to see Elz and Munga coming up to you with their mics, a cameraman following. They pull you away from the group of lads whilst everyone gets ready to clap around the stadium. Taking a step back upon seeing the camera, a lopsided smile creeps up on your face.

"Y/n, what an incredible match. You were all over the pitch this game! Can you give us some words about your first time playing in a Sidemen charity match and how it felt?" The mic comes in your face, and you let out an airy chuckle.

"Yeah..um, I haven't played footy since high school, really. When Simon asked for me to play, I was.. reluctant at first, you know, but now I'm really glad I said yes." You rattled on.

"We saw some great strikes on the pitch. How do you feel about barely missing the goal during the first half?" Munya asks.

Licking your lips, you let a beat go by for a moment so you can think. The question poses room for scrutiny from the audience; you can feel your stomach churn, anxiety creeping up on the hairs on the back of the neck. You knew if you seemed too confident, people would not like that, but if you seemed too humble, people would condemn you too.

"Uhm... That's a great question," you begin to say, craning your neck to look for comfort. Your eyes try to find someone in the swarm of people, desperate to get away from the hosts.

"It was my first time! I definitely could've made it if I had been a bit closer or wasn’t getting closed in on,” you finish honestly. There, you see Will is staying back to wait for you. His eyes are wide, and his head is slightly tilted; it's a tender look that was being reserved for you.

"We are thrilled to have you here, and we hope you come back next year,” Elz says and you thank them both quickly before jogging over to Will.

He doesn’t say anything, instead all he does is wrap his arm around your shoulder and guides you to where everyone else is doing their claps around the stadium. You’re curious to see if this moment will make the video, or any of the other ones between the two of you, after all it is up to Mikey.

You find yourself smiling at the crowd, the people, the cameras. In that moment, you truly felt like you belonged and deserved to be there. Saying hello to fans, signing papers, and receiving handmade items. Although, you knew that once this was over, you'd be under mass criticism. You'd go on Twitter and see everyone criticizing how you played, but getting the validation from your mates was all the resignation you needed to tune those other voices out.

“Why the sour face?” Will leans down to whisper to you, amongst the ruckus the lot is making as they leave the pitch.

“Nothing gets past you,” commenting, crossing your arms over on another. He rolls his eyes and groans at this.

“I know you,”

For a second you debate sucking it up, going to the pubs to celebrate with everyone after. Or, going back to the hotel room for the night, and getting ready to leave as soon as possible to see your cats back at home.

“All I want to do is go home, really,” you sigh. Wills face doesn’t change, all he does is hum in response before looking at his phone to see the time.

“Yeah? Why don’t we go back to the hotel and get going,” he suggests simply. You quirk an eyebrow, knowing that prior he was more than willing to go to the pubs with everyone.

“Is.. that what you want?” asking hesitantly. Giving him time to think, and change his mind. But without another beat passing he nods his head.

“Not what about what I want, let’s get home,”

He flashes you a soft, genuine smile that makes the corner of his eyes crinkle. Will smooths your hair done with his palm like always, before silently walking to the locker room to change.

You’re left to stand there, cheeks flushing. Home. Insinuating that home is with you. All of this feels so natural, the soft touches, the quiet intimacy, the longing stares. You wonder how long it’s going to take for you to crack, to risk it all and reveal the raw truth. But, for another day, you can hold on to the pieces of Will that you already have.

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[nanaslutt]

Bathtime

synopsis: When Uraume informs you about Sukuna's ability to lactate but his disdain for emptying his tits, you know exactly what to do to help

contains: fem reader, you're Sukuna's assistant, true form Sukuna, nipple play, lactation kink, masturbation, dry humping, mention of blood, dirty talk, sexual tension, porn with plot // wc: 6.6k

MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DNI

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ

Sukuna had grown quite irritable lately, more so than usual. It had been a few days since he started acting out, and you had no idea how to get closer to him to find out what was wrong. Sukuna wouldn't even let Uraume into his chambers to drop off his food, always making them leave it outside the door. It was a gamble whether he would even eat the food at all. 

Sukuna spent the majority of his time locked up in his room, or down the way at a nearby village, blowing off steam. This time when he came back though, he looked worse for wear. His face was in a permanent scowl, his muscles were twitching under his skin, and blood was coating every inch of his body. Not his, but he still looked rough. 

"Sukuna let me-" The king bumps his into your smaller body, making you fall back against the wall behind you, your arms reaching back to brace yourself. Uraume stood opposite from you in the room, catching your eyes before they fell to the floor. They kept their hands together in front of them, watching Sukuna's silhouette disappear from their peripheral vision. When the door to his chambers slammed shut, the loud sound echoing through the halls, Uraume let their gaze drift up as they made their way over to you.

"Are you alright?" They asked, brushing the dust off of your kimono. You ignored their question, your eyes latching on the outside of his chamber doors. "What is his problem? He's always grumpy but... this is new." You said, rubbing the ache from the back of your neck. Uraume sighed and placed their hands back together in front of them, putting some distance between the two of you.

"I know you haven't been this close to Sukuna-sama for very long, but this isn't out of character for him at times. There's a reason for it." You looked back over to Uraume, confusion evident on your features as you tilted your head to the side. "He- He doesn't like to acknowledge it, he's stubborn," Uraume said, averting their gaze. Their expression looked conflicted, their nose scrunched as they stared at the floor.

"Acknowledge what?" You asked, prying further. "Sukuna, he-" Uraume paused to clear their throat before they finished, "he lactates." It took a moment for their words to register in your head, but once they did, your jaw dropped. Just when you were about to question them further, they spoke again. "He knows he needs to drain them, but he hates the act of doing so. Which makes him ignore his problem. As a result, as you can imagine, the feeling is quite uncomfortable for him, making him more... grumpy than usual." Uraume explained, using the word you used earlier.

You opened and closed your mouth like a fish out of water, trying to find the right words before you spoke. "How long do these fits of his last?" You asked Uraume. The white-haired chef looked around at the walls that surrounded them, pondering. "His longest fit was two months. It was excruciating to try and care for him during that time, it always is." Uraume said, sighing. They sounded exhausted. 

You wanted to pat them on the back, you didn't know how they dealt with his attitude so well sometimes. "How does he go back to normal?" You ask, fidgeting with the fabric of your kimono absentmindedly as you speak. "All he has to do is relieve himself. He has pumps I keep in the kitchen. If he's ready, he'll come find them." Uraume said, suppressing an eye roll.

You felt bad the chef had to deal with this for decades. Just how many fits of his has he gone through while Uraume was at his side? He probably never thanked them either. You've always looked up to Uraume. They had the kind of elegance and patience you could only dream of achieving someday. You stared at the freshly swept floors of Sukuna's residence. The shiny black tile reflects the light from the chandeliers above you, blinding you. 

"I'll take care of it," You said vaguely, determination laced in your tone. Uraume's eyebrows furrowed together as they looked at you quizzically. "I hate to see you get treated so roughly by him all because he refuses to milk his tits." Uraume's eyes went wide, their hand shot up to block their expression from you, hiding the blush that crept up their face from your use of anatomy language for the man. 

"You- I don't know if you'll have much luck. He's a stubborn man." Uraume said, sounding like they were dismissing your idea. You were about to try and press them further when they spoke before you. "But if you really want to give it a go, I'll take you to where I keep his pumps." Uraume could swear your eyes shimmered at their words.

--

You took a deep breath before rapping your knuckles against the king's quarters, immediately dropping to your knees, the pump tucked away in a bag, slung around your shoulder. "Sukuna-Sama, I ran a bath for you and I-" The door swung open before you could finish your sentence. The door slammed hard against the wall, making you close your eyes, your body tensing reflexively. You saw two sock and sandal-covered feet in your line of sight, making your heart race. 

"Let me help you wash up Sukuna." It wasn't uncommon for you to help Skuna in the bath, help him get dressed, other mundane tasks, so your proposal didn't seem out of the blue. You wanted to give your reason for asking, as you usually just assumed you would unless he said otherwise. But you guessed if you had added that you wanted to help him because he seemed like he was having a hard time lately, he would mistake it for pity, and your head would be severed from your body.

Only Sukuna truly knew your worth to him, so he would never do such a thing, but you thought otherwise. Sukuna huffed out a breath before he walked past you and took a sharp left, heading to the bathroom, where you had already drawn him a bath.

You sighed in relief when he turned another corner, now out of your view. You briefly wondered what the hell you were doing. Hands clasped together in front of you, you pushed open the cracked door of the bathroom. You were met with Sukuna's rippling back, covered in now dried blood from his earlier massacre, contrasting nicely against his pale skin. Your eyes dared to travel down further, starting from his heels, up the strong muscles of his calves, and the tight muscles of his as- 

Sukuna's glowing red eyes peered at you from over his shoulder, making you swiftly avert your eyes, finding the floor of the bathroom. It was hot in the room as you shut the door behind you, locking yourself in with your king. You couldn't tell if the heat you felt creeping through your body was from the steam around you, or something else. 

Splashing of water took you out of your trance and back to the man in front of you as he descended into the tub, the clear fluid overflowing around him, creating a mess on the floor. Swallowing whatever saliva was left in your dry mouth, you walked forward, making sure not to sneak up on him and instead walking around the side of the bath to set your bag on the chair in the corner of the room, a few feet in front of the bath.

You didn't dare to look, but you could feel Sukuna's eyes tracking your every move from the moment you were in his sights. You squeezed your fists into the fabric of the bag, closing your eyes and taking a deep breath as you tried to ready yourself to turn around and face him. 

"You're nervous." Sukuna's deep voice cut through the tense, hot room, creating goosebumps along your flesh. You turned on your heels, making eye contact with him. You tried to ignore the now pinkish color of the skin of his chest in your peripherals, his body warmed by the water around him. "Nonsense, it's just a little hot in here." You explained, making your way towards the tub.

When you reached the side of the bath centered in the room, you reached out to grab the washcloth hanging off the side, half submerged in the water. Sukuna's hand gripped your wrist entirely, his stronghold keeping you in your place. you didn't dare to even breathe. "Lie to me again, you won't like the consequences." You tried to keep your breathing steady as your eyes traced the rippled in the water around his knee.

You nodded, still averting your gaze. The only thing you could hear was how intense your heartbeat sounded in your ears. His touch had been so unexpected. If you weren't nervous before, you certainly were now. Sukuna squeezed your small wrist, cutting off your blood flow entirely for a moment, your hand throbbing at the loss of it. You could feel his eyes cutting daggers through the side of your face. Finally, he released you, placing his heavy hand back along the side of the tub.

You took the washcloth in your hand and walked around the tub until you were met with his wide back. You took deep breaths behind him, trying to steady your racing heart now that you were out of his sight at least. Unfolding the washcloth, already hot and damp with water, you reached out and placed it against Sukuna's skin, not missing the way his muscles contracted under your touch.

Taking care of Sukuna relaxed you, you felt most at a place like this. Your eyes traced the markings on his skin as you rubbed the dried blood from his body, collecting it on the washcloth. You leaned down to your side, crouching a bit as you dipped the rag in a smaller bucket of water, cleaning the blood off of it before you went in again. The water turned a pinkish color from the first wipe. 

"Relax Sukuna, you did a lot of work today." You said, trying to ease him as you rubbed the rag over his shoulders, your other hand holding atop his other shoulder. Sukuna all but grunted at your words, his eyes darting around in front of him, trying to find something worthy of stimulating his vision. Your body relaxed from his tame reaction, the hot water must be doing wonders on his chest. You decided to push your luck.

Moving to the side of him, you brought the rag over his shoulder and around his collarbones, ridding him of the crimson blood there. The water was a big moggy from the blood that had coated the rest of his body, making it hard to see into the water. You could only see blurry shots of his body parts when you dipped the rag into the water.

Sukuna was watching you again, and this time you hadn't noticed. You were too focused on your job at hand, that you failed to notice the piercing red eyes tracking you. You leaned over the tub slightly, reaching the blood that stained his other collarbone. Sukuna was exhausted. The hot water bordering on boiling his skin combined with your soft touch was lulling him away into a calmer headspace.

His chest ached, the feeling standing out like a sore thumb compared to how relaxed the rest of his body was. You noticed his hand on the tub opposite from you had relaxed, his arm now just resting along the side instead of gripping it. You peeked your eyes over at his neck, looking at his face through the corners of your eyes. Sukuna's breathing was even, and his face was still, his eyes shut. You knew he wasn't completely unguarded, he never was, but he was relaxing.

You dipped your hand into the hot water of his tub, your gaze finding his hard chest as you rang out the towel. You couldn't tell if his nipples were red from the hot water, or from his little predicament. Seeing as how his chest was above water though, you could make an educated guess. 

It looked so swollen. Sukuna's muscles were impressive, yes, but you were extremely familiar with his body, and his chest was larger than before. He had kept you away from him for almost a week, so you had failed to notice it before. The skin of his chest looked taut and almost stretched. You placed the rag just above his chest, your eyes finding his face to check if he noticed or felt anything displeasing.

When he gave you no reaction, you dragged the rag down his chest, maybe pressing a little too hard as you went down, but you were determined to ease his ache. You only made it about halfway down his chest before you were being restrained again. This time, Sukuna was more dramatic.

He shot up from the tub, the water reaching about his knees as he kept a strong hold on your arm, distancing you from his chest. Your heart had started racing again, this level of stress seriously couldn't be good for your health. Sukuna's lip twitched in disdain, his eyes sharp and pointed as he glared at you, his jaw muscles clenching under the weight of his teeth. 

You forced yourself to speak, "S-sukuna are you alright?" You asked, feigning ignorance the best you could with how in shock you were from his abrupt actions. Sukuna's breathing stayed quick, his gaze angry. He looked as if he was trying to see if you were being honest, if your words were genuine. More time went by, and his nails digging into your skin hurt you more than you cared to admit. Your arm throbbing where he grabbed you.

"Not. Not there." Sukuna said, sucking in a deep breath. You stayed quiet, mustering a confused look on your face. "My pecs. Do not touch them." He clarified, seeing as how you didn't understand his words the first time. You nodded quickly, keeping your lips firmly shut. It was only then that you realized you were face to face with his crotch.

Sukuna had been naked in front of you countless times, but that doesn't mean you got any more used to it. You've never fully got a glance at his... down there, always stopping yourself from leaning into your desires and looking at him. For some reason in this atmosphere, you wanted to look so bad. More so than you ever have before. You were usually good at curbing your arousal for the king, but it was growing harder and harder the more time you spent with him.

Sukuna squinted his eyes at you before he crouched back down, two of his hands grabbing the sides of the tub as he descended back down, his face now coming more level with your own. You softly pulled back against his hand, reminding him he needed to let you go.

He obeyed seconds later, his eyes staying locked on your face the whole time. Dipping the rag in the water, you swirled it around, pretending you were cleaning it off good before you spoke. "Sukuna-sama, may I ask you something?" You said softly, not wanting to irritate him further. Sukuna stayed silent. Your eyes found his when he failed to answer, that's when you noticed the curt nod he gave you.

Looking back at the rag, you rang it out with two hands, the water droplets creating rings on the surface. "Forgive me for asking, but why am I not allowed to wash you there?" You asked, furrowing your eyebrows as you spoke, trying to give him the impression you really didn't know his situation. "You're... there's still blood on your chest." You added.

Sukuna's eyes stayed locked on yours, an unreadable expression on his features. "The water will wash it away." He responded, ignoring your question. You returned his words with a short nod of understanding. You knew better than to expect Sukuna to admit to you he was in pain. He wouldn't even admit it to himself. 

You dragged the washcloth along the side of his torso, along his ribs just under his arm. Sukuna's lip twitched, the pressure from his chest extended to the side of his pecs as well, making your touch irritable, but Sukuna was able to control his reaction, miraculously. 

You noticed the water shift with him as he pushed his hips forward, sliding down into the water more as you scrubbed his body clean of the blood. "Would you like me to abstain from touching you here too?" You asked, keeping your eyes on his chest instead of his face when you asked the question. "If I don't want you touching me somewhere, you will know," Sukuna said, his eyes squinting at you as he spoke.

Before you could stop yourself, you let out a soft laugh. More like a soft breath of air passing through your nose, but the small smile on your face made the sound have a direct correlation. You corrected yourself immediately, clearing your throat you distanced yourself from his body a bit and dipped the towel back into the water.

Walking around the other side of the tub, going behind him to escape his gaze for a moment, you started cleaning the blood off of his left side. You pressed your fingers along the sides of his ribs, making small circle motions almost at the end of his pec, giving him small relief through the discomfort. Sukuna was now staring at the ceiling, his jaw bulging under the weight of his teeth each time you pressed against the side of his sore pec.

Just when you were about to move on to another part of him, as you were dragging your hand away from the underside of his chest, a small white drop of fluid dripped down his chest and met with the water below him, right next to your hand. You froze in place, watching how the milky color faded into the crimson water, becoming the same shade.

You peeked your eyes up and noticed Sukuna was still looking away, meaning you could investigate a little. Biting your lip, you repeated the same action, rubbing right under his chest. This time though, you kept your eyes on his red nipples, as you had a pretty strong indication of what had happened, and you didn't want to miss it this time.

As you pressed against him, sure enough, another white droplet dripped down his chest, following the same trail as the last. The small droplet left an off-white streak along his pale skin. You pressed your thighs together, you had no idea the sight would be so erotic. Hell, you were starting to think you were going to be unsuccessful in your endeavors with getting to relieve Sukuna.

While you were ogling his tits and subtly rubbing your thighs together, trying to diminish the heat that was forming between your legs, Sukuna had dropped his eyes on you. You were foolish to think he wouldn't feel himself lactating, and especially stupid if you didnt think he wouldn't pick up on how you repeatedly rubbed him in the same spot.

Sukuna watched carefully as milk spilled from his chest, your watchful, lidded eyes not missing a single second of it. "Are you having fun?" His voice echoed in the hot room, making your hair stand on edge at the sound. You swallowed hard, slowly retreating your hand away from him. You let your eyes trace his tattooed skin up and up and up, until you were met with his face, which looked almost amused.

"You planned to do this all along didn't you?" He accused, making your eyebrows shoot up in shock. You distanced yourself, dropping the rag in the tub with him as you waved your hands in front of yourself. "N-no Sukuna, I just- I noticed it just now." You explained, looking anywhere but his face. "I put the pieces together just now. Y-you told me not to touch your t-" You quickly corrected yourself, about to use an extremely inappropriate word to describe your boss's pecs.

You cleared your throat before you spoke. "-Chest, and when I saw the liquid just now I-" "What did I say about lying?" Sukuna interrupted, making you find his eyes swiftly. You furrowed your eyebrows together, a drop of sweat sliding down your face. "Do you think I wouldn't hear you talking to Uraume in the hall? You were a mere ten feet away from my quarters, you think my hearing is so inefficient?" 

You felt all the blood drain from your face, your jaw falling open in tandem, you were going to die here. "Looks like I wasn't hearing things then," Sukuna smirked, your reaction giving everything away. Your skin was vibrating, and the heat you felt between your legs was gone in an instant, only fear remained inside of you.

Sukuna smiled, resting his head in his hand as he looked you up and down. "Well? Aren't you going to defend yourself?" He asked, a smug look on his face. 

You decided it was now or never, he was already for sure going to kill you. Might as well fess up. "I- if you knew, why did you let me go when I touched your chest the first time? Surely you knew my intentions." You asked, keeping your distance. Sukuna's smile grew, smile lines forming around it. "It's fun to tease you." He said shamelessly like the sadist he is. You swallowed hard, resisting the urge to look away from his intense gaze.

"Uraume tried to talk me out of it. If you're going to take this out on anyone, take it out on me. I couldn't stand seeing you treat them so harshly, so I took your pumps and ran you a bath, hoping I would be able to relieve you somehow." You blabbed, keeping your hands firmly in front of yourself. Sukuna clicked his tongue in his mouth, his eyes having a darker look in them after your confession.

"I half-assed ambush." He responded. "Just how did you think you were going to get those horrid things on my chest without me noticing? Hm?" Sukuna asked, his tone becoming harsher when he spoke of the pumps. You took in a deep breath and turned your head to the side, looking at your bag which had the pumps tucked away.

"Worst case I was going to ask you straight up and see if you cut my head off or not." You replied. Sukuna laughed at how casually you spoke to him, you must really think you were going to die. "But you surmised deceiving me would be better than being direct?" Sukuna challenged, his eyes giving you a one-over while you weren't looking. 

The atmosphere had gotten hot again. The heat started returning to your body the longer you stayed alive. Why hadn't he taken your life yet? You looked back to him and nodded, not giving him any more of your reasons, you had spoken enough. Sukuna dropped his hand back down along the side of the tub and tipped his head back, his slanted eyes staring at you from behind his bottom lashes.

"Ask." He said curtly, his fingers tapping along the side of the tub. You blinked at him, considering his words carefully. After a long beat of silence, you spoke. "Sukuna-Sama, may I help you relieve yourself with the pumps?" You asked, keeping your eyes on his. His toothy grin made you throb under your robe. "No." He replied. You still kept your eyes on him, challenging him.

"Ask again." He demanded, tipping his head to the side. "Sukuna-Sama." You paused at his name as you figured out the meaning behind his words. His disdain while he spoke about the pumps must mean he didn't want to use them, but what other way was there? Possibly he couldn't mean...

"Can I relieve you?" You asked, leaving out the part about the pumps. Sukuna released a soft laugh, amused and impressed at how quickly you had figured out what he wanted you to ask. "And how will you relieve me?" He pushed further.

The vagueness in his words made you fight the urge to press your thighs together, a fire burning hot between them. "Anyway, you'd like me to, Sukuna." You replied, not even daring to blink as you tested him. Sukuna licked his lips before tipping his head back down, looking at you straight on. "What are you waiting for then?" He challenged, his knees poking out the top of the water spreading to make room for... something, or someone.

You slowly walked up to the tub, your eyes never once leaving his. "Perhaps we should change the water first." You replied, leaning down to the drain on the outside of the tub. Sukuna's hand grabbed the back of your neck firmly as you leaned down, stopping you from moving any further. "That won't be necessary." He replied, pulling you upwards.

"You aren't afraid of a little blood are you?" He teased, one of his eyebrows raising in amusement. You shook your head, placing your hand on his that still held the back of your neck. Sukuna released you, the smile still evident on his face. Your heart was racing a million miles a minute. He wanted you to get in the tub with him right? That's why he said that? What if you were interpreting his words wrong? What if-"

"Get it. Keep me waiting for another second and I'm changing my mind." Sukuna's deep voice reverberated through your body, shutting down any insecure thought that popped into your head. He was fibbing, there was no way he could go any longer without having his chest milked, he was so sore but his teasing was the only way to get you to hurry up.

You pulled the bow keeping your robe together undone, the thick fabric falling off of your body, exposing a thinner, white robe underneath. Sukuna felt saliva start to pool in his mouth, he could see the figure of your body almost perfectly now, and he would see it even clearer once you got in the water with him. You kicked the kimono to the side and grabbed the edge of the tub.

You swung your leg over it, dipping it into the blood-stained water. Immediately the temperature made you tense the muscles in your leg as you inhaled a sharp breath. "There you go." Sukuna said softly, his large hand grabbing your thigh, pulling you into the bath with him. If the atmosphere didnt feel tense and intimate earlier, it sure as hell did now.

You slipped on the bottom of the tub when your foot reached the bottom, your kimono getting drenched with the water around you, making the fabric sheer as you reached out and Grabbed Sukuna's shoulders, bracing yourself. Sukuna tsked, blinking away the water that had splashed in his eye before your waist was being grabbed with two hands and you were pulled into the water, your thighs straddling his pelvis, just above his...

"Didn't know you could be so clumsy." Sukuna teased, making your face turn bright red as you retracted your hands from his shoulders, sitting back. He kept a strong hold on your waist, keeping you against him. "I wonder what else you're hiding from me." Sukuna purred, tiping his head at you. You swallowed hard before looking down at his chest, swollen and irritated.

It felt like millions of little needles were pricking your skin from the heat, but the sight of Sukuna's chest in front of you distracted you enough for the pain to not feel unbearable. "How- how do I go about..." You stuttered softly, fidgeting with your hands in front of you. "Ask your question in a way I can understand. You aren't a child." Sukuna retorted, making you scrunch your eyebrows together in embarrassment.

His glowing eyes on you didnt help how nervous you were feeling. "The liquid that came out of them earlier, what was it?" You asked, backtracking to make sure you knew exactly what you were dealing with. Sukuna looked unimpressed, staring at you like you were dumb. "What do you think? Surely you can't be that dense," he responded. You felt the vein in your head throb, was he incapable of answering a question straight on?

You were hesitant to ask your next question. How you should get the milk out. Usually, mothers would breastfeed or use a pump to get the milk out, was it really the same for Sukuna? "Why do you produce... milk?" You asked, reaching out slowly before softly placing your hands on his chest with featherlight pressure.

"I'm not a mother if that's what you're asking," Sukuna said, a hint of humor behind his deadpanned answer. You didn't even know he was capable of making jokes. "Of course not." You responded, softly squeezing his chest, resulting in a long inhale from the man underneath you, his nails digging into your waist.

Sukuna's eyes fell to your chest, which was not soaked with the water and sheer. Unfortunately for him, you were wearing a bra, but the sight of it through your now-see-through clothes was a treat nonetheless. "Just do what you feel is right." He answered your unspoken question, his eyes lazily sliding back up to find yours.

With a nod, your eyes left him and dropped down to his tatted chest. You unknowingly wiggled on his lap before you groped his chest harder, resulting in Sukuna rolling his head to the side. You pressed the tight muscles together, rubbing his chest in circles, trying to increase his blood flow there. Sukuna's eyes shut halfway at the painfully pleasureful. 

You worked your hands from the outside of his chest inward until you reached his nipples. You felt yourself throb between the legs repeatedly, the pace almost matching that of your heartbeat. You had no idea how worked up this would make you. Sukuna winced, almost unnoticeably, when you squeezed your hands right around his nipples, a white stream trickling down his chest.

You wanted to apologize, but once again didnt want him to feel self-conscious about feeling the pain. Sukuna rolled his eyes, his lip twitching at the feeling of his tits being milked bringing him relief in more ways than one. His cock had been hard from the moment you had started bathing him, his teasing and your facade of not knowing what you were doing to him only riled him up more. 

The pressure of your hands stimulating his irritated chest outweighed the pleasure with the discomfort, leading Sukuna to grip your waist harder and groan. "Use your mouth, this method is insufficient." He growled, his voice coming out more hoarse than before.

He wanted you to... suck his nipples? You knew better than to ask any follow-up questions, Sukuna was clearly irritated enough. He was at his breaking point. You squeezed your thighs around his torso, trying to press your clit against his lower tummy to bring yourself some relief, completely forgetting that his body was a part of him and he could feel everything you were doing.

Sukuna stayed silent about your arousal for now. With a soft nod, you leaned forward and latched your lips around his nipple, waiting a brief moment to gather yourself before you sucked. Sukuna immediately groaned, and you made a noise of surprise as his milk flooded your mouth, the taste of it sweeter than you imagined.

Sukuna's hand pressed firmly against the back of your head, his low groans filling the bathroom as you sucked harder, your tongue lapping over his nipple occasionally, soothing the bud. Sukuna groaned through his teeth, his head tipping back as he relished in the feeling of his chest being milked. 

Countless times he's had to relieve himself with the pump, and never once has it ever felt like this. Sukuna's cock twitched repeatedly with the need for attention each time you suckled around his nipple. "Yeahhhh, yeah this is doin' it." Sukuna groaned, shaking his head back and forth as he looked down at you. You peeked up at him, moaning around his nipple as you did your best to make eye contact with him, your eyebrows furrowed.

"Can't tell who this is for with how much yer rubbin' on me." Sukuna teased. He was right, you had been so absorbed in sucking on his chest that you failed to realize you had been steadily humping against his lower abdomen, giving your clit some much-needed friction. You stopped and pulled off of his chest the moment he exposed you, his hand still holding the back of your head.

Milk dripped out from his nipple, running down his chest. "I didn't say you had to stop, did I?" He corrected, raising his eyebrows in an unimpressed manner. "I told you, didn't I? Do what you have to do." 

You nodded quickly with a hot face before you leaned down and latched your lips around his other nipple. A loud, long groan was released from Sukuna's longs as you started sucking, some of the milk you were unable to swallow spilling out from your lips and down your chest. Sukuna pulled his lower lip between his teeth, his eyes threatening to roll back in his head at the nipple stimulation.

You heard a sloshing sound behind you. At first, you thought it was your body creating the noise now that you were grinding your cunt on his pelvis freely, but you quickly realized it was something much different when you felt his hand repeatedly bumping against your back. Sukuna was jerking off. 

"So eager huh?" Sukuna teased, his voice much darker and needier now. Sukuna was wasting no time with teasing himself by taking things slow, your tongue flicking against his nipples made his balls ache with the need to drain them, so that was exactly what he was going to do. Pulling back from his chest you sat up and began tweaking with the swollen buds, making milk leak down them.

Sukuna's hips jolted under yours, making your body jump against him. "Almost there, they're almost empty." Sukuna nodded, his eyes fluttering in their sockets. You weren't sure if he was talking about his situation under the water, or his chest. Nonetheless, you leaned forward and took a nipple back into your mouth again, sucking harder, trying to drain him completely. 

Your own humping was thrown off as Sukuna began fucking up into his fist, the tip of his cock poking you in the back each time he did so. The water sloshed around you, spilling out on the floor from the tub. "Uh-huh. uh-huh, keep sucking, keeeeep fucking sucking." Sukuna demanded, his head falling back along with his jaw.

His jerking was sporadic now. You moaned and whined around his nipple, your sounds coming out choppy and high-pitched from the movement of his body under yours. His pelvis was bumping forcefully against your clit, it almost felt like he was fucking you like this. "The other one, suck the other one, do it now." Sukuna groaned, his nails digging against your scalp, leaving a mean tingling sensation against it.

Sukuna's chest felt empty and much less taught than before, the previous throbbing all gone, save for the throbbing of his nipples from the pleasure you were giving him. Your lithe fingers tweaked the nipple you weren't sucking as you obeyed him and switched to the other, only getting small drops on your tongue now. You had truly sucked him dry. 

Sukuna's hips lost their rhythm, his body going taught under you as his arm went stiff, doing the best he could to jerk himself up to his high. His jaw fell open further and his eyes rolled back in his head. A long, deep groan was released as he came. Long white ropes of cum shot out from his cock right against your back. He rubbed his tip against your skin while he jerked himself off, working himself through it with your help.

His cum mixed in with the water around him. His balls twitched and clenched as they pushed out every last drop of his cum. Pulling away from Sukuna's nipple you pressed both hands against his now empty chest and started humping against his lower stomach, his hard pelvis muscles rubbing perfectly against your clit, making your head spin.

"Nghhh- S-sukuna-" You cried absentmindedly, resulting in a large hand smacking over your mouth, followed by an amused laugh. "Yeah yeah, get yourself off on me but be quiet about it, don't need anyone else hearin' you cry my name," Sukuna said breathlessly, his hand still holding the base of his now spent cock as he watched you finish yourself off.

His hands around your waist tightened and helped you rub yourself along his muscles when he noticed you were having a little trouble the closer you got. "You gonna cum?" He asked, furrowing his eyebrows at you, a hint of neediness in his voice. You nodded, your moans getting muffled by his hand. "Cum then, I'll help you," Sukuna said, pressing you harder against him, bringing more friction to your sensitive clit.

Your eyes rolled back in your head at the feeling, now only seconds from crashing down into your high as you rubbed your needy pussy on him. Sukuna nodded at you, his jaw falling open in a small o, occasionally cracking into a small smile as he watched your eyes and eyebrows twitch and furrow in tandem. 

Your hand left his chest to wrap around his arm at the last second to ground yourself as your orgasm hit you. "There you go." Sukuna drawled, smiling to himself as your body jerked forward and your hips stopped moving on your own. He helped you move against him. Each time your throbbing clit bumped into his lower abs while you came another loud muffled moan was caught behind his hand. 

When you tapped repeatedly against his large arm, he loosened his grip on your waist and released your mouth. A string of saliva connected from your lips to his hand, something you would've been embarrassed about if you were in a clearer mindset. 

Sukuna pat your ass a few times under the water, trying to coax you back into the real world. "That felt good, huh? Looked like it felt good." Sukuna teased. Your eyes were all out of focus and your chest rose and fell heavily with every deep breath you took. "Don't get sleepy on me now, still gotta clean this mess up." 

You wanted to roll your eyes at his audacity. You just drained his tits and came on him and he was already telling you to clean up? "A...A thank you would be nice." You said, wiping your hand over your eyes, getting the sweat off of your face. Sukuna smiled before his hand gripped your chin firmly, shaking your face back and forth. 

"I think the cum I spilled was thank you enough." He said snarkily, making you sigh. He laughed at your irritation, glad to see you were coming back. "Have Uraume throw the pumps away when you get finished here." He said, making you tip your head to the side and look at him funny. 

"I don't think I'm going to need them anymore."

[soldiersgirl]

THE NURSE WILL SEE YOU NOW.ᐟ

summary ⭑ soldier boy was wounded, his heart broken that no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't seem to get on your good side. luckily, the nurse had time to bandage him up and remind him who he really was. (part one / part two.) cw ⭑ pornstar!reader x pornstar!soldier boy. payback era. 18+ smut (MDNI). porn with some plot. corny porn names. mean soldier boy. nurse x wounded soldier dynamic. swearing. manipulation. arguing. insults. mentions of drug-taking, smoking and drinking. kissing. gaslighting. fake injuries. light slapping. degradation. praise. dirty talk. begging. tit job. choking. oral (fem & m receiving). fingering. protected p in v (safe sex work is important). overstimulation. riding. missionary. name calling (doll, dollface, angel, baby, princess, sweetheart, bitch, whore). word count 5,781 words

soldier boy didn't let up. like any good soldier, he never gave up; he persevered. anything to see you just once more. to feel you, taste you. his dislike for you had been overtaken by his need to be liked by you. all women fell at his feet, adored the ground he walked upon in his maroon supe-boots with his heavy shield resting on his back; like an old friend resting a comforting hand on him. he invited the familiarity of his most trusted companion that soothed him in his times of emotional turmoil that ripped through him and manifested in throwing tantrums in vought board rooms and tearing down the ego's of the board members, who believed they could control him. no matter how much they tried to convince him that his numbers were fine and he didn't have to film with you again, he wouldn't listen. he needed to film with you again.

but you didn't share the need. not at all. vought interns constantly called you, knocked on your door and, almost, harassed your manager. she begged you to finally listen to them seeing as "hearing them out won't cost you a dime.", only making you roll your eyes and reluctantly agree. you finally sat down with them and agreed to one final film together, but only if you finally got some of that creative authority you so craved. you got to pick the set, the dynamic, the costumes. when news returned to you that soldier boy agreed to your conditions, you couldn't believe it. captain control let you decide something? the power was finally in your hands and you knew exactly what you had to do.

after a few days of planning and coordinating with vought, the set had been made, the costumes had been tried on and fitted and the script, that had just come off the printing press, was a warm comfort in your hands. your body surged with excitement. soldier boy had been kept in the dark, as part of your agreement to this last film, and his face gave it all away when he stepped onto your intricately planned set.

an old infirmary tent had been pitched up in one of vought's studios, the classic red cross splashed across the outside, and the entrance flap buckled open to reveal the infirmary beds that soldier boy recognises immediately, during his pr stunts– no, sorry, during his service to his country. the country that he, supposedly, had fought for during countless wars, battles, and conflicts. his eyebrow twitched and his skin prickled as he strode into the middle of the tent and felt nausea hit him like a wave. you were mocking him. this was all one big joke to you. he now understood why he wasn't allowed to know one single detail, because if he had known it would've been this? this would've never happened. over his own dead body. the familiar bustle and clangs of a med-cart rush past him, stuffed with gauzes, band-aids and fake needles as the other interns set up an IV with a fake-saline drip next to the only bed with pink bed-sheets and a vase of matching pink flowers on the bedside table. he scoffs to himself. this simply has to be a fucking joke. the board members can't have approved this, this would make him a laughing stock. but... they had. soldier boy's words ring in his own head.

"i want this to happen, no matter the fuckin' cost. so don't come to me with ur pathetic what ifs and buts. make it happen or somebody's gettin' thrown through a fuckin' window." followed by their pathetic nods and almost silent "yes sir"'s.

soldier boy had just never expected that you would take it this low, make a mockery of him; america's #1. most beloved supe of his time. he wasn't going to stand for this. he straightens his shoulders, lifts his head and prepares himself to confront you, give you a piece of his unstable mind. until his eyes fall upon you, in a baby-pink scrub dress that clung onto your body and that lace that hugged your waist, like he wishes he could, whilst you chatted with the set crew to make sure the last things were in order. you had planned this to make him feel more comfortable, more at home. you, of course, believed the lies that vought had spoon-fed the public over the years about soldier boy's bravery and heroism. sure, he was the biggest asshole you had ever met, but a national hero nonetheless and you wanted your last movie to reflect that. but this idea had clearly fallen up deaf ears, and eyes, as he stood in front of you, seething. the anger and embarrassment seeping out of every pore. you gently greet him with a soft smile and rest your hand on his bicep, unable to fully read him, misunderstanding his reluctance for reminiscing.

"does it look real? i tried replicate what they had during world war two, i know you served during it." you gaze around the set with an appreciative smile. you could admit that even though you knew you two would never see eye to eye, he had helped your career and you wanted to recognise what you both had done for each other. you were only met with a deep sneer and furrowed brow followed by a short scoff as he brushed off your hand. "i watched some of your movies for inspiration, wanted it to be accurate. even watched red thunder, your newest one. i don't usually like war movies, but i was impressed." you hesitantly admitted as you glanced up at him, waiting for his usual smirk to grace his face, but your expectations fall short. his jaw was tense and his crow's eyes deepened as he squinted and gazed upon the set with disdain.

"hm." not the answer you were expecting.

"is something wrong? it– it can be changed." you warily glance around, not noticing anything out of place. you had studied and researched, wanting to pay homage to soldier boy's career. you had concluded that being on his good side paid off better than being on his warpath, so you made an effort to minimise your snide remarks. even though they slipped off your tongue with ease. "you don't like your surprise?" your voice uncharacteristically falters, getting caught in your throat.

"let's just get this over with, yeah? then i don't gotta see your mug again." sighing, he brushes past you, towards make-up and costume to have his suit polished and hair touched-up. you flinch at his words and waste no time stomping after him, mirroring his sneer.

"what is up your ass this morning, huh? i did this for you! to make you feel comfortable, happy." you reach up and try your best to shove his broad shoulder. he doesn't even give you the satisfaction of reacting before settling in the make-up chair and winking at the artists before they get him ready. you grind your teeth, staring at him in disbelief before turning around, preparing to walk away but his words make you freeze.

"no one fuckin' asked you to, yeah? do me a favour, dollface, and drop the fuckin' act. i see what you're doing, alright? i see it all." he says with such ease, fully believing each of his own words. you whip back around, push aside the make-up artist and look him directly in emerald eyes. he seizes up for a second, enough for you to notice, before he regains his bravado persona and stares back into yours.

"i don't know what kind of messed up coke you snorted this morning, but not everyone is out to get you all the time. i did this as a thanks, to you, you world-class asshole." you hiss as you lean in, your lips inches away from his. his eyes can't help but flicker between and you have to suppress your want to smirk. "so put on your shitty little helmet, read the script, memorise it and deal with it. in..." you glance over at the wall clock. " two hours, we'll never have to see each other again. alright?" you reach for one of the script copies and messily shove it onto his lap before storming away without another word. you had never met a man as complicated as him, as changing and impulsive. as dangerous. but that's not what scared you. what truly scared you was the way your heart clenched at his disappointment.

"hey...! hey!" he called after you but all you could hear was your rapid heartbeat and the hushed giggles of the make-up artists before soldier boy impatiently snaps his finger and they continue getting him ready. he flicked through the script, his eyes dancing over the page but nothing stuck. all he could focus on was the harsh wringing of his hands, the ferocity of which you spoke with, your adamant tone of voice. for once, he could admit, that he might've fucked up.

he sat motionless as the make-up artists dabbed on deep purples and burgundy splotches to imitate a black eye and bruises across his high cheekbones and chiseled jaw. it had been years, decades, since he had seen himself battered. not since his boarding school days. for a second, he saw the young, terrified ben looking back at him in the studio mirror. his wild, wide eyes, his breath ragged and lust for violence ignited. a feeling of guilt spread through him, like a timid wave on a quiet beach, as he got up and slotted on his trusted helmet and nodded to himself in the mirror. he was america's #1 and it was time to fucking act like it.

to your surprise, as you stepped back onto set, after taking some time to curse soldier boy under your breath and stress-smoke a cigarette in peace, you find him sitting on the pink infirmary bed like a docile lamb. his features softened, his full costume on and the script resting in his large hands as his eyes scanned the pages, whilst he muttered and nodded to himself. his fingers ran over his trimmed pornstache, smoothing it over before resting his palm against his stubbled chin, his fingers grazing his cheeks as he continued to read. even though he looked calm, you knew better than to assume and approached him slowly, letting out a small sigh before sitting down next to him on the bed. beneath his worn helmet and bloody makeup, he offered you a soft smile, putting the script aside and resting his herculean hand on your bare thigh. you freeze, not because his touch was unwanted but because it was unexpectedly soft, caring. unlike him.

"the set is really good, feels like i'm almost back there. except for, of course," he laughs before leaning back, laying down and resting his arms behind his head. "the girly bed-sheets and a nurse as fuckin' breath-taking as yerself." there it was, his signature smirk. you couldn't decide if you hated or loved it, so you play indifferent and shake your head at his compliment attempt.

"i'm still mad at you." you glance back at him, a smile toying on your lips. "actually wanted to be nice to you, seeing as it's our last." you click your heels against the floor and look out over at the crew placing the cameras and testing the sound. "you got another stupid porn name ready?" a sigh from you and a chuckle from him.

"who would i be if i didn't, sweetheart?" his voice gruff as he rises up to his full height, reaches over for the patient chart and scribbles a name on top with the pen that follows. the set crew had really thought of it all. he slots it back into place at the end of the bed and gives you a wink. "gotta keep it exciting, eh? the script takes away all the fun." he slides back down next to you and stretches out on the bed, getting himself comfortable for the first scene.

"i've only ever done scripts. so everyone knows what's gonna happen and no sudden surprises." you raise an eyebrow, whilst a loud laugh escapes soldier boy as he throws his head back.

"you certainly haven't fucking complained, no matter what i've done." he states and he's got you stumped. you try to think of a retort, a comeback, but you fall short.

"just... shut up and lay down." you give his knee a light slap, he reaches forward and grabs your hand. a soft, fluttering kiss is placed against your knuckles as his deep, emerald eyes under his thick lashes draw you in. you should've told vought to go fuck themselves when you had the chance, because as your heart pounded like a war drum, you knew it was too late. he called to you, like the merciless sea to a captain and you wanted to drown in his waves.

"ACTION!"

some interns were dressed in era-appropriate nurse uniforms—opal blue dresses, crisp white pinafores, and matching caps—as they bustled around the infirmary, tending to fellow interns costumed as wounded soldiers. the camera slowly zoomed in and panned until it landed on soldier boy. the other interns file away, leaving only soldier boy and you, waiting on the side for your cue. he lies and looks longingly around the tent in his supe-suit and scratched up-helmet, sporting his bruises and groaning in agony. clutching his sides, chest heaving, teeth barred in pain until he hears the familiar clicks of your platform heels across the set, stopping in front of him. the metallic clink of the patient chart, a loud click of the pen and a small sigh from you as you read the name he had messily scribbled earlier.

"corporal punishment?" your eyes catch his and you can see him struggling to keep his face scrunched in pain, a smile fighting its way forward. he coughs to stifle a laugh before nodding and throwing his head back onto the baby-pink pillow with a groan.

"yes ma'am, that's me." he groans louder. "corporal punishment from battalion 69." he weakly raises his hand and salutes before clutching his sides again with a dramatic flair. you slide the patient chart into place and kneel down next to his bed with a sheer lock of concern for the brave soldier. you run a comforting hand across his cheek, cradling it and caressing.

"you're so brave." you gush over him "thank you for your service, corporal punishment. without you, i wouldn't be here to help you and the rest of your battalion."

"no need to thank me, young miss. just doing my duty, like you, for the greatest country on earth." his large hand swallows yours as he holds it against his beating heart.

"now... let me patch you up, corporal. can't have a man as important as you just laying here." you ran your hands over his defined chest as you stand up, feeling his rugged supe-suit under your fingertips, slowly tugging away at it. as each piece was either buttoned down or zipped open, your fingers danced across his flushed skin. his groans of pain become groans of growing arousal, his impatience growing like a tide rushing in. you unwrap your pastel-pink stethoscope, lean over him and rest it on his sculpted pec. you listen intently as his heartbeat quickens, shamelessly ogling your chest in your barely zipped up scrub. with just a simple tug of the zip, your breasts could be his and it took soldier boy everything to restrain himself. he had been thinking about these moments for months, dreaming about it, stroking himself senseless to it.

"your heart rate is rather high... too high." you mutter as you reach over and scan the patient chart. "that hasn't been an issue before, hm." you drop it onto the bedside table and gaze over soldier boy, his deep-green suit a contrast to the pink hues surrounding him. greed against innocence. "i'm going to have to check your temperature, corporal... may i?" your hands rest on either side of his helmet.

"you may do whatever you need, miss. i'm in your, i assume, more than capable hands." he gives you a wink followed by a reassuring nod, feigning flinching and hissing as you expertly unbuckle his helmet and lay it to the side. you draw in a breath and fake stumble as your eyes rest on his fake wounds and bruises. tutting as your fingers barely even graze the cuts and shadowed patches. the deep purples, burgundy reds and blossoming yellows compliment his freckled, rosy cheeks and honey-skin.

"oh, you poor, poor man. what did they do to you?" a quiet sigh escapes you, filled with unspoken sympathy.

"ha!" a loud guffaw followed by a wince and sharp inhale. "you should see the other guy!" you roll your eyes before leaning back in, closer this time, reaching into your pocket and pulling out a thermometer.

"now, be a good soldier and open your mouth." and like a good soldier does, he opens his mouth without complaint and wraps his plush lips around the metal tip. "such a good boy." you purr as he gazes up at you, whilst you read the thermometer and rest your other hand against his forehead, tapping your feet with impatience. "oh dear... it's worse than it looks, corporal punishment. increased heart-rate and high temperature, you're going to need some serious treatment." you tut and shake your head. "luckily for you, you got the best damn nurse in this tent and my patients always leave satisfied."

"yeah, i bet they fucking do, sweetheart." a low murmur and eyes filled with hope. you lean in and ghost your lips over his, teasing. a hushed growl and barred teeth, he was ready to pounce and devour but you were keeping him on a tight leash.

"are you ready for your treatment, corporal punishment?" your eyes roam his face, enjoying having the control for once. but a caged animal, never stays caged for long.

"more than fuckin' ready, sweetheart. gonna finally show me what those fuckin' hands can do, aren't ya?" with each passing second, his chest heaves and hands start to twitch. a white hue passes over his knuckles as he clutches the sheet in a desperate attempt to keep himself contained.

"i know your country needs you, but i need you more, corporal." you purr as your hands scrape down his chest followed by a suppressed growl as your hands finally come down to rest on his ignored bulge, threatening to explode through its confines at any second. you coo as your run your hands over it, squeezing and tugging on his clothed, tortured cock with a devious smile. you take your time undoing on his belt, pulling down his zipper and pushing the pants to the side just enough to reveal his precum-stained underwear and his constrained cock. you hum with appreciation as you drag your nails over the member, feeling it twitch under your touch as he writhes and moans in desperation.

"are all nurses such fuckin' cock-teases?" he groans as he barely lifts his head and meets your teasing smile with an unimpressed grin.

"all soldiers so impatient?" you retort as you lean down and press a chaste kiss to his clothed tip followed by a strong lick, your tongue dragging over his "VOUGHT" boxers with a smile. a hushed "fuck" falls past soldier boy's slick lips, his tongue constantly darting out to wet them as his shallow breathing deepens. your fingers dip beneath his boxers and tug them down to the top of his thighs as you both sigh. you in anticipation and him with relief as his cock is finally freed, silently begging for attention as pre-cum smeared the tip and the veins bulged. he uses one hand to slowly jerk himself off, using the other to switch positions so he was sitting on the edge of the bed, as you kneel next to him, watching his every move with your wide eyes.

"now, help the brave soldier feel better and show me what those hands and lips can do, hm?" he softly pats your head before running his hands carefully through your hair and resting on the nape of your neck, tugging you closer to him with a soft smile as he pushes his tip against your waiting lips. tapping one, two, three times, as if asking for entrance and you stuck out your tongue, inviting him in to the warmth of your mouth. he drags his tip over your tongue, coating your tongue with his essence. a repressed groan travels from deep within soldier boy as your tongue licks a trail over and under his tip before sucking on the blushing-pink end. your hands take over his slow jerking motion as your tongue runs over every divot and fold, eliciting hisses from him as he watches you in awe. his mouth agape and his stare greedy, your lips swollen and breath shallow. you lick and kiss your way from the base to the tip before fully enveloping his bulging member. drool runs down the side of your mouth, coating his cock as you take him deeper. one hand plays with his balls, massaging and tugging on them as the other follows the rhythm of your mouth. "cock-hungry lil' nurse, aren't ya? bet you suck all the soldiers like this, huh?" he mutters as he condescendingly pats your head as your nose rests on his base, his hairs tickling your nose. you come back up and gasp for air, continuing your slow strokes as you stared back at him.

"nuh-uh, only the bravest like you, corporal." you shake your head and speak against his tip before giving him another kitten lick. you push his chest back and down and he immediately gets the message. he reaches up and rests his arms behind his head as he becomes consumed in sensation of you. your talented tongue, soft hands, garbled whimpers. with each stroke of your hand and suckle of your plush lips, he can't help but thank god and release strangled moans. hips bucked and eyes screwed shut; this was paradise, he was sure of it. the sound of a zipper brought him back to reality. he lifts his heavy head and squints before a whispered "fuck, doll...". you had pulled your tits and nestled his saliva-covered cock between them, almost like they were made for one another. you silently watched each other as you pushed your breasts together and effortlessly glided them and down the sides of his cock. a lazy smirk grew as he rested himself on the back of his elbows, enjoying the show you were putting on for him.

you slowed down, you quickened your pace. you knew exactly how to tease and torment, leaving him torn between gratitude and frustration. leaning forward with teeth gritted and impulses taking over, he reaches out and cups your breasts with the care reserved for fine china. your strokes slow as he starts to buck his hips, taking over and giving you a moment to regain your breath. his cock slid between your breasts with ease, his ridges and veins hugged by the warmth of your tits. he pulled and tugged on your nipples as you threw your head back and hissed.

"these tits were made for me, look at them. fuck, lookin' so good wrapped around my cock like this." he wets his thumb and rubs it over your erect bud, you twitch and whine in response. "bet you're doing to get touched, doll. wanna get fucked by a real soldier? a real man? gonna show you how you deserve to get railed, baby." almost cooing, his condescending tone causing shivers down your spin. his hands fall from your chest and cups your jaw, his thumb softly caressing as he guides you to sit next to him. "tell me how badly you wanna get fucked, baby." he whispers against your lips before placing them against his. the kisses slow and languid, words harsh and dominant. you bit his lip, dragging your teeth across his pillowy bottom lip as his eyes fluttered. he rarely gets to feel pain, but he welcomes it with open arms if you're the one causing it.

"i'm dying for it." a high whine. "i've been working so hard and no one takes care of me." hungry kissing, tongues fighting for dominance. "please, corporal. help me, i'm so soaked." soldier boy shoves you onto your back and yanks your legs up onto the bed, pushing up your scrubs.

"no underwear while you're workin'?" he mutters as he lowers himself, eye-level with your glistening cunt; the folds puffy and clit engorged. a low chuckle followed by a loud gasp as he licked up between your folds, his tongue delving in and enjoying the familiarity of your thighs resting against his stubbled cheeks. "filthy fuckin' nurse. dirty bitch." each degradation followed by a swift kiss on your bundle of nerves. a glob of spit lands on your pussy before he feverishly devours you, humming and groaning against your folds. he slaps your pussy in quick successions, dripping more spit down and sliding his fingertips over your tortured clit. your one leg falters and falls off the bed, exposing you more to him and the camera behind him, as he feasts on you. dining on each whimper and plea he can pull from you.

"corpor- please, oh fuck!" one finger pushes past your entrance and a second swiftly follows, curving and hitting your cervix. teetering on the edge, tears build and pleas grow louder. "oh my god, please, i can't, i can't, no–!" you hands tangle in his chestnut locks, trying to pry him away from you, but your strength was no match to his.

"fuckin' take it. c'mon, doll, you can do it. cum for me, on my fuckin' tongue. give it to me, can take it. please." he breathes out against your folds, his tongue circling and fingers thrusting at an inhumane pace. the added and unexpected "please" is what tips you over, his ounce of humanity pulling your building orgasm out of you. "that's it, that's fucking it. such a good fuckin' girl, ain't ya? huh?" he grins, giving you one final, harsh suck on your clit as you cream all over his fingers. but he was nowhere near done, he was a man on a mission. he raises up, pushing your back further into the white metallic barriers of the bed, resting his damp forehead against yours. his slick moustache brushing against your top lip as his fingers sped in and out of you. strangled gasps and "i can't"'s roll off your tongue like a mantra and all you're met with is a gruff "you can do it and you will". his lips, hungry and wild on yours, swallowing your protests as he pulls out his fingers, slaps them against your suffering clit, rubbing his palm over it and stuffing them back in with a grunt.

"c'mon, baby, show me how good i make you feel. show me, please, i know you can." his words and actions a complete dichotomy to one another and you fall victim to his wishes as another wave of pleasure crescendoes and crashes over you. a plethora of "oh my god"'s and "fuck"'s are groaned against soldier boy's lips, which a curled in a devilish smirk as you slowly come down from your high. your drowsy eyes paired with a lazy smile cause him to stifle another laugh, but you quickly recover. pushing soldier boy back, his head hitting the plush, pink pillow with a soft thud as you clamber over him and reach for the nightstand. you shuffle around for a second, pulling out a condom and, with practised hands, rolling it down his stiff member. you hike your scrubs that rested around your waist as you positioned yourself over him and with hands resting on his broad shoulders, you carefully sink down onto him. despite his best efforts, you hissed in pain as you struggled to accommodate his size, which was an issue every time. you took a second to breathe as you reached his hilt, soldier boy comfortingly stroking your cheek before you slowly started to rock your hips.

"got me wonderin' what else they're fuckin' teaching in nursing school." soldier boy mumbles as his hands grip and tug on the supple skin of your hips, expertly guiding your pussy so he's hitting all the right angles. in the midst of it all, it feels like just the two of you, alone in the world, exploring each other. his dark eyes keep you hypnotised, unable to look away as his hips meet yours in a steady pace. for a minute, you're able to forget who he is, what he's done. his, albeit fake, bruises, black eye and cut lip were something you knew you'd never see again, but glimpses of his humanity would slip through and it captured you. intrigued you. it hadn't crossed your mind before, but there was more to soldier boy than met the eye. more than his macho, big-dick-swinging, whiskey-drinking and drug-snorting attitude and it honestly surprised you. maybe he had forgotten it, too.

a light slap to your face pulled you out of it all and you were brought right back to reality. a vice grip around your neck held you tight as he fucked himself up into you, hitting your cervix with a precision that made your eyes roll and body go limp. the only sounds in the room were the smacking of skin against skin and your pornographic moans of pleasure and rapture. you held onto his wrist for support as you carelessly bounced on his cock, his eyes centring in on where your damp bodies met as his hair fell and blocks his favourite view. without warning, he lifts you up and places you on the bed before tucking your knees into your chest and sliding back into your warm cunt with a nod of his head.

"this pussy was definitely made for me, princess. suckin' me in like that, so fuckin' greedy. greedy little whore." he degrades into the open as he pushes himself deeper with each calculated thrust of his hips. no matter how much you deny and shake your head, you know the truth. his hidden and tucked away dog tags dangle in front of your blown-out pupils, a clink following each stroke. a whimper following each depraved comment. "they call me corporal punishment for a motherfuckin' reason, angel. so keep those peepers on me or you're gonna fuckin' find out why." but as soon those words left his mouth, his thumb dangerously circled your clit and your eyelids instinctively fluttered. a slight slap and a small yelp. "thought nurses were all good girls who could take a order, but i was wrong, huh?" he chuckles, pinching at your clit as his other hand held your knees tucked and pushing against your ribcage. half-muttered apologies were not acknowledged as with each pinch and push of your bundled nerves, your eyes clenched shut and your cheeks grew sorer.

"sorry, sor–sorry, corporal, please. i'm so, so c–close." you hiccup, your ribcage aching and pussy throbbing by the sheer weight and size of soldier boy dominating you. he untucks your legs and throws your legs over his shoulder, drilling into you at an immeasurable speed, reaching a depth you didn't know was possible.

"cum for me, doll. cum on this cock. your favourite cock, right?" he slows for a second and moans in pleasure at the sight of the cream ring around his cock. your pleasure undeniable and all-consuming. he moves with an urgency, his own pleasure threatening to burst like a dam. "no one's gonna fuck you like this, baby." and although it was just dirty talk, you both knew the reality of the situation. no one else could and no one else would. nails dug into his biceps and his hips faltered as you reached your highs and soldier boy emptied himself into the condom. his muscles loosened and breath ragged as he pushed down your legs and captured your lips in a heated, deep kiss as he lazily rolled his hips before pulling out and sighing. "i think i'm fixed. whad'dya think, nurse?" he hums.

"you seem to be in great health, corporal." you gasp. "i think you can return to service." you push your hair away from your damp forehead before doing the same to him. "satisfied with your treatment?" you breathlessly laugh.

"more than satisfied. over the fucking moon." a cheeky wink and a soft kiss on your knuckles. you wanted to say more, but the yell of "CUT!" interrupted you and you silently gazed over at soldier boy. as routine, he pulled off the condom, tied it off and chucked it into the bin next to the infirmary bed. you were prepared for him to swagger away like each time before, but instead his calloused hands reached out to pull your pink scrubs down over your thighs, pull the sleeves up and over your shoulders before zipping up the dress.

"oh, thanks."

"no problem." he sighs. "this is really it, huh?" he gazes out over the crew and set as they scramble amongst themselves, their voices filling the previously moan-filled room. "i gotta hand it to ya, you're my favourite co-star." he turns to you with a smile. "don't tell countess i said that, a'right? stays between you and me." his usual stern eyes filled with something you couldn't decipher. you silently nodded as you hugged yourself, unsure of what to say or how to say it.

"you're my favourite, too, soldier boy." you settle on. "i–" you start but he cuts off you.

"how about you start callin' me ben? i think we're there now, don't ya?" he chuckles as you only nod. "i gotta get goin'. got board meetings to snore through." he jokes. a sweet peck on your cheeks had your face heating up and before he could take another step, you reach out, against your better judgement, and grab his wrist.

"if you ever want to just... hang, you can call me." you manage to say, your eyes searching his for a sign of anything, of reciprocation.

"i know, sweetheart. i know." and with that, he leaves, a hidden smirk unfurling across his lips. his mission was successful, he had ruined you for anyone else. just like he had always planned.

a/n: wanted to leave this open-ended. the series is done, for now. who knows if we'll ever meet them again but i want to write some other things for a while, but i never say never. hope u loved this <3 it took me FOREVER. LIKES, FEEDBACK & REBLOGS are appreciated, support your creators. ⭑ millie's masterlist ⭑ -`♡´- tag list: @0ccvltism @adoredawn @angelically-yours @barnes70stark @bejeweledinterludes @blossomingorchids @bluemerakis @briiverse @cowboysandcigarettes @daylighted @deansbeer @deanspookiebear @diawinchester217 @emeraldcrs @faiszt @figthoughts @fitxgrld @frank3nfag @h8aaz @insensiblelimerence @jasvtsc @k-slla @kamisobsessed @lanasgirlfr @legalmente-loca @littlesoulshine @lunaleah @mads-ackles @maneaterarabella @marvelgeeka @missus-ackles @mostlymarvelgirl @nperoconelcositoarriba @plasticflowersinahistorycemetery @samslovebug @sl33pylilbunny @soldierboysdoll @sugardean @sunnyteume @sunsettsam @supernaturaldoll @tinas111 @titsout4jackles @vmiina (comment or inbox me to be added/taken off)

[delicatelymorbid]

Oblivious Feelings

Synopsis - your hidden feelings for ellie had been an untamable headache, so when your friend kat asked for you to hook her up with ellie, hiding those feelings became difficult

Includes - switch!ellie x switch!reader, !!!!yearning!!!!, jealous reader and ellie likes it a little too much, clingy ellie, strap usage r!receiving, SMUT WITH PLOT

Notes - not really proofread, sorry gals but i give you all kisses and hope you enjoy

You and Ellie were close friends, but lately you’d been utterly confused with your feelings. Your glances towards her were turning to longing and yearning stares that would haunt your dreams. Her stupid green eyes and infuriating, pretty freckles would linger in your mind—uninvited. Her stupid and mesmerizing tone would roll off your back in ways nothing else could. The slight rasp that would fall from her pretty lips would send your heart hammering.

It was torture.

But right now, none of it mattered. Because right now, you were watching her from afar at this stupid winter gathering and everything around you blended into her. The gathering actually wasn’t stupid; you were happy and excited to see all your friends and loved ones. But, it was unbearably stupid because of your stupid feelings for a stupid, nerdy girl that made you feel stupid. It was all just fucking stupid.

On the opposite side of the room, Ellie spotted you the second you got there. She hadn’t seen you all day since she had been busy with Joel, so her chest couldn’t help but tighten at the sight of you. She awkwardly ran her finger over the rim of her drink, clearing her throat and fidgeting in her space as she sighed, thinking.

Ellie was conflicted. She couldn’t help but notice the effect you had on her entire being. Your mere presence made her skin light on fire and her brain melt into mush. Your pretty smile and pretty laugh would turn up the corners of her mouth without her permission. Your gorgeous eyes would captivate her in ways like nothing else. It was no doubt that Ellie welcomed her feelings for you. However, Ellie was petrified at the possibility of you never liking her, or rather you not being capable of liking girls.

Ellie never brought it up. Ever. She thinks she’s had this lingering crush on you since you met, but I mean who could blame her. You were wonderful, intoxicatingly kind. You made her boast with love, so there’s no reason why she wouldn’t attract towards you. But, topic of sexuality brought a bad taste to Ellie’s mouth. Not only because of bigoted idiots, but also for rejection. She knew she could trust you, she just didn’t know if she could love you.

You were chatting with your friend, Kat, at the dance. You two weren’t that close but knew each other well enough. As she spoke to you, you every once in a while glanced at Ellie. When you two finally saw each other the same time, you exchanged a warming smile that made you both blush.

Kat began to ramble on, but then looked a little nervous as she was rummaging up the courage to ask you something.

“Hey, I have an odd question,” she asked as she pursed her lips and furrowed her brows at you gently.

“Yeah?” you replied softly, no idea as to what she was going to ask.

“You… You’re, uh, friends with Ellie—that’s her name right? The girl with the short brown hair?” she asked.

Auburn.

“Uh, yeah how come? The one over there right?” you reply tightly, nudging your head to the direction of the bar where Ellie sat, chatting with some random.

Kat’s face lit up and she nodded at you, “Yeah… I’ve been meaning to ask if you know if she’s single. Or, could you… I dunno, try to talk me up to her,” she laughed awkwardly, a small gleam in her eyes.

You couldn’t help but feel your heart ache. Maybe it was the jealousy, or maybe it was the sadness you felt while looking at Kat’s evident romantic interest. The pit in your stomach couldn’t help but feed off your doubt on Ellie; what if she didn’t like you? What if she would like Kat, and not you? It ate at your chest but you smiled at her warmly and nodded. It wasn’t Kat’s fault after all.

“No, yeah, of course!” you softly say with a weak smile. “I’ll go talk to her now,” you nod.

Kat’s smile beams at you and you have to hold back from throwing up. Not literally, but you did feel sick.

You then walked away from her and made your way to Ellie, each step feeling like you were going towards your impending doom.

But all of it sort of washed away with the currents as she turned from her seat and locked eyes with you, smiling softly and looking down at her drink. Your brain felt a little fuzzy as you got closer to her, and eventually you leaned up on the bar, standing next to her as she sat.

“Hi, Ells,” you murmur as you look crookedly at her.

“Hi,” Ellie replied as she leaned on the bar, mirroring you. “Me and Joel missed you today,” she mumbled shyly.

“Yeah? Missed you too,” you say softly as you nudge your elbow gently into her.

You sighed and studied her, watching how her lashes kissed her cheeks and how her hair loosely fell from her messy bun that struggled to stay put.

“My friend thinks you’re cute. She, uh, she asked me to see if you were interested,” you mutter, standing up straight to lean your side against the bar, picking at your nails.

This caught Ellie off guard and she sat up straight, too. Those pretty eyes giving you a confused glance as her brows furrowed, “Who?”

“Kat. That blonde over there,” you say while nudging your head in the direction of Kat, making Ellie’s eyes fall onto a girl with a shy smile, causing Ellie to nod with a tight one in return.

Ellie looked back to you, almost cautiously. “You, uh, you told her I’d be interested?” she asked, seemingly nervous.

Your eyes snapped to hers and you pursed your lips, “I mean, no. I said I’d tell you about her. That’s all really. Why?” you ask ask as your eyes get a little soft, “Would you be interested?”

Ellie noticed your tone and aspect slightly shift, but she couldn’t understand why. Did you not like Kat? Did you think Ellie wasn’t good enough for Kat?

“Well—” Ellie scoffed, “I mean, shit, I dunno. I don’t really know her,” she murmured. “Nah, I don’t… Yeah I don’t think I’m interested. Tell her I’m sorry,” she said after thinking.

This piqued your interest.

“How come?” you asked with a raised brow.

Ellie furrowed her brows at you and turned to look at you, “What do you mean ‘how come’? Do you want me to go over there?” she asked, her tone getting a little snippy.

“Well…” you scoff, looking back at Kat who was now lost in conversation with someone. “No,” you mumble after thinking about how Ellie would look standing next to her, the thought making your head hurt.

This piqued Ellie’s curiosity.

“Why not?” she asked, turning in her bar chair to rest a hand on her knee, looking for your eyes.

You shrug and glance between her eyes, not knowing what to say. “I dunno. She’s… annoying I guess.”

“You guess?” Ellie asked deadpanned, dropping her head slightly to look at you. “Why don’t you want me over there?” she asked softly.

You narrowed your eyes, getting slightly flustered at the direct questions, especially as they got closer to the truth of it all: your feelings for Ellie.

“Well if you wanna be over there with her so badly then you can. I’m not stopping you,” you say as you straighten up, no longer leaning on the bar as you slightly glare at her.

Ellie scoffed and nodded, “Right, right. Forget about it,” she muttered before turning away from you and focusing back on her drink, leaving you alone right beside her.

You sigh and flex your fist, walking away from the bar towards the other end of the place, wanting to go back to your friends. You eventually found Dina and Jesse, spending the rest of the evening with them, sharing laughs and drinks as the music and love from everyone surrounded the air. It was serene, it was everything you needed.

That was until your eyes found their way to the bar, seeing that familiar blonde standing a little too close to Ellie. You squinted, making out Kat’s slightly arched back as she leaned against the bar, leaning against her hand as she spoke to Ellie. Ellie’s drink was empty and she looked interested in the conversation and it made you sick. You knew you shouldn’t have fucking said anything. You cursed under your breath and downed your drink, setting it down on the table before looking back at the bar and this time, Ellie’s green eyes were boring into you as Kat rambled on. Your expression faltered as everyone except the two of you drowned out of the room, and Ellie’s curious expression made you scold. She furrowed her brows at you, as if trying to figure out what the hell was the matter with you.

It angered you. It drove you mad that Ellie knew you completely inside and out. She knew how to comfort you, she knew how to read you. She was so goddamn perfect and it made you feel insane. You loved her so much and she had no fucking clue. You hated it.

You shook your head slightly and darted your eyes away from her, snapping back into reality and grabbing your jacket before saying bye to Jesse and Dina, sneaking your way out the doors before anyone—Ellie—could question it.

Luckily for you, your house isn’t that far of a walk and soon enough you were in the comforting warmth of your home. Your cat, Mochi, greeted you sweetly as you walked through the door. You set your things down and stood in the middle of your kitchen, hands on your hips as you thought long and hard. You thought of Ellie laughing at Kat’s jokes. You thought how sweet Ellie would taste with her lingering alcohol on her pretty lips. You thought how only your mind would be the place those things could occur. You scoffed and opened your fridge, grabbing a water before nearly slamming the door shut and going to your couch, pinching the bridge of your nose as you leaned your head back, cursing yourself for your feelings.

Then, three quick knocks were made on your door and you sighed, knowing damn well who it was. You set your water down and got up, slowly making your way over before turning the knob and seeing Ellie on your porch, hands stuffed in her pockets as she looked at you worriedly.

“Are you mad at me?” she asked, her tone slightly sad but mostly confused.

“What? No, why would I be mad at you?” you reply instantly, opening the door wider as you looked at her with an expression that made her melt.

You were so good with her, she melted every time you reassured her, especially when you looked at her as if she were stupid for thinking whatever crazy thoughts she had.

“I dunno… You seemed mad. I was just messing with you, y’know? I… I didn’t wanna make you mad,” she murmured, referring to her questions regarding Kat earlier at the bar.

You sighed and rubbed your face, nodding, “I know, Ells. Come in,” you softly say, grabbing the sleeve of her jacket and barely pulling her inside.

Ellie didn’t walk in far, she stopped right in front of you leaving little space as you closed your door and looked at her.

“I’m not mad at you. I’m sorry for being mean,” you mumbled, slightly pink cheeks showing your embarrassment and it made Ellie shake her head.

“What’s going on? Did something happen?” Ellie asked gently, looking for your eyes as she wanted to fix whatever was wrong.

“No! You’re good, we’re good! I’m sorry! Things are just, a lot for me right now. I shouldn’t have acted like that and… yeah,” you sigh as you struggle to keep your eyes on her.

“Hey, there’s nothing to apologize for, ‘kay? What’s going on? Talk to me,” she murmured, stepping slightly closer to you as her voice got low and gentle.

Her eyes and soft tone coaxed you in ways nothing else could and you were convinced this was why you fell for her. Ellie was so patient with you, taking every action in deep thought before acting with you. She took care of you like no one else, and it made you feel so fucking loved. You adored her for it.

You blinked and shook your head slightly, whispering, “Nothing’s going on,” trying to not burden her with your feelings.

Ellie shook her head immediately as she wasn’t feeding onto your bullshit and she mumbled, “No, don’t do that. Cmon, talk to me. Tell me what’s wrong. I don’t want you upset.”

You sighed and shrugged, not knowing how to say it. Not knowing how to tell the girl that you’re in love with that you’re in love with her. She was so beautiful and perfect and smart and funny and kind and soft and calming. You hoped with every fiber in your being that she felt even the slightest same as you did. You might die if she didn’t.

“I’m not upset, I’m sorry. It’s just… I dunno. I guess I got… irked by Kat.” you said, embarrassment flushing your cheeks as you looked away from Ellie, too flustered and in your head to make eye contact.

“Irked?” Ellie repeated with a raised brow. “What exactly does that mean, sweetheart?” she asked softly, making your head spin but your expression was deadpanned.

“Fuck, Ellie, I dunno, what do you think it means?” you said sarcastically, your frustration rising as you felt cornered with all these damn questions and that fucking sweet nickname.

Her jaw twitched and she studied you, trying to decipher the little information you gave to piece it together.

“So, you don’t… like Kat is what I’ve gathered. And you don’t want me with her?” she asked, taking it slow with you and truly trying to figure it out.

You gnawed on your lip and nodded slightly, “Yeah. I guess,” you mumbled.

She tilted her head and you nearly fainted.

“Can I ask why?” she asked gently, the words coming out like soft kisses as she didn’t wanna ruin whatever was happening. She wanted you to open up.

“She just… you know,” you say strained, crossing your arms as you shrug.

“No, sweetheart, I don’t know that’s why I’m asking. Is it just Kat in general?”

You shook your head and pursed your lips, “No, not exactly. I just, y’know, I guess there’s better for you. I guess.” you say, an awkward expression on your aspect causing Ellie to furrow her brows.

Ellie rose a brow and silently absorbed your words and expression, trying to not overthink this. Were you the ‘better’? She wanted you to be, but you’ve never insinuated that you liked her, nevertheless liked girls in general. But, she couldn’t help but read into your frustrated sighs. How close she got and how you didn’t back away. The way your hands flexed when she spoke to you lowly and intimately. How your cheeks stained red when she said she missed you. Ellie wanted this so badly, but she didn’t want to mess it up.

“I need you to be more specific with me, baby,” she said soft and raspy, almost as if she were begging for it.

You nearly grunted at the petname, instead sighing sharply and looking down at the ground, “Ellie I can’t,” you huff.

She tilted her head, as if she understood. Finally.

“I don’t… Sweetheart, I don’t wanna mess anything up. I don’t wanna interpret this for something that it’s not,” she said gently, keeping the small distance there between the two of you.

You slowly look up at her and she nearly gave out, those damn eyes making her melt and her breathing slightly staggered.

“I just… got jealous. I don’t want you with anyone else, not just Kat. I don’t want you with anyone,” you say softly.

“Why not?” she asked, lifting her chin and narrowing her eyes with a slight tilt to her head, making you feel hot under her gaze.

“Because,” you say stubbornly, “Why are you making me do this?” you grit through your teeth.

She knew you hated to verbalize your feelings and this felt like complete torture. However, it was also torture for Ellie. She had no fucking clue what you were thinking, and she hoped with every bone in her body that you were trying to say that you liked her.

“Because I’m not a fucking mind reader and I need you to tell me what’s going on so I can understand,” she huffed as she took a step forward.

You couldn’t argue but you rolled your eyes and put your hands on your hips, looking away from her. “For fuck’s sake,” you grumble, “I don’t want you with anyone because I want you with me,” you ramble out as quickly as possible, avoiding her gaze as your cheeks reddened. You hated that she got you to speak your mind so easily. She had you wrapped around her finger.

She froze, staring at you and staying silent as you kept your eyes away from her. “Look at me,” and you sure as hell did. “You want me to be with you? You want us?” she asked, her voice strained as if she were hurt while asking.

You nod and straighten, dropping your hands to your side as you look at her, “I’m sorry,” you whispered. “I… I didn’t wanna tell you, I don’t wanna mess anything up. I’m sorry, I just hate seeing you with other people because I can’t stand the fact that you’re not with me,” the words slightly died in your throat, though after looking at Ellie.

As you spoke, Ellie’s eyes said enough for her and you felt timid. You felt like you did the wrong thing. She looked at you as if you spoke Latin and you shrank in your spot. You definitely fucked up.

Silence fell between the two of you and the embarrassment nearly consumed you, causing you to frown slightly. “Can you please say something?” you asked gently, the words coming out sad and regretful.

Ellie nodded, stepping forward before grabbing your head in her hands and brushing your hair out of your face, walking into you until your back gently met the wall.

“Don’t ever be sorry for wanting to be with me,” she breathed out before leaning forward and connecting her lips to yours, as if your two bodies had been apart for millions of years, waiting to be reunited. “Don’t be sorry for being jealous,” she mumbled against your mouth before kissing the corner of your mouth, one hand snaking down to your jaw to maneuver your head as she pleased. She kissed your cheek and mumbled, “The only thing you need to be sorry for is keeping this from me,” she almost sounded a little angry, pressing into you more and kissing your lips, this time with a little more force to express her feelings. 

You shivered, whimpering slightly into her mouth as she pressed you into the wall, your brain melting in her hold.

“How could you keep this from me?” Ellie hissed, kissing all over your jaw as her mind was on fire. Years of waiting and watching you, all leading up to now. She couldn’t take it. “Do you know how long I’ve waited to fucking do this? How many times I’ve dreamed of you?”

You gasped, shaking your head and furrowing your brows like a puppy at her and she nearly devoured you at the sight. “‘M sorry, Ells,” you mumbled.

She released a staggered sigh, “And that fucking nickname,” she hissed, leaning back into you to kiss your mouth, a moan leaving her mouth and leaking into yours.

You mewled, everything happening too quickly for your brain to keep up but your lips had a mind of their own as they moved with Ellie, earning you soft moans from her.

You broke away, shaking your head and she followed you with her mouth, her gaze low and focused solely on your lips now that she finally had a taste.

She leaned into you again, but you stopped her and she grunted, “Let me kiss you,” she murmured.

“Wait, wait, wait, wait,” you rambled out, flattening your hand on her chest, making her look down at your hand with an incredulous look.

“Are you serious?” she muttered.

You scoffed and nearly laughed, “Yes! Just wait a damn second,” you spoke through a giggle.

You sighed, looking all over her face, feeling flustered under her gaze as her eyes were low.

“You look pretty,” you said breathless, making Ellie drop her head and sigh.

“Baby, I’ve wanted to kiss you since I was fucking thirteen. Can you let me get what I want?” she muttered, slightly strained as she leaned in to smell your neck. She gently stuck out her tongue and glided it, kissing your pulse, causing your brows to knit in pleasure.

“Yeah,” you whispered, leaning your head back against the all as your hand found its way to her hair, undoing her bun to tug on her roots.

“Were you jealous of Kat?” Ellie rasped out, sort of out of the blue and it caused you to snap your eyes to her in confusion.

“What?” you ask in a haze.

“Were you jealous?” she repeated, this time leaning down to kiss over your collarbone as she found her thigh between your legs.

“I… I dunno, I guess so,” you mumble, not wanting to admit it as the embarrassment was evident on your face.

“Tell me,” she rasped, her tone getting more strained by the second as she pressed into you. Her moves were getting fervent and you felt hot.

You looked at Ellie and thought for a second, noticing her demeanor shift. “Are you getting fucking turned on by that? Do you like the fact that I was jealous and I didn’t want Kat near you?” you slightly grit through your teeth, your breathing sharp as you looked at Ellie with hazy eyes.

She looked up at you through her lashes, her lip dragging on your throat as she let up.

“Maybe,” she said softly, tilting her head and pouting at you, “It’s cute.”

“It’s slutty,” you countered, making her blush way more than it should’ve. “You want me to be jealous over you?” you ask, tone dropping in a way that made Ellie nervous.

“No… not necessarily, I just… think it’s hot that you were possessive ‘n shit,” she spoke gently, hands going to your waist to try and seem smaller than she was.

Your eyes slightly sparkled and your lashes fluttered, digesting her words. Ellie watched you, wanting to connect your lips again but waiting for your initiative, not knowing if she turned you off.

“Is that weird?” she asked softly, her fingers snaking under your shirt to touch your warm skin, her hands fitting perfectly on your hips.

You shook your head in response, swallowing dryly before wrapping your arms around her neck, pulling her in, “No, I really like that, even though I shouldn’t,” you murmured as you pulled her in to kiss her, going slow and attentive, making Ellie whimper into your mouth.

You deepened the kiss, dipping your tongue into her mouth and you felt her grip on you tighten in response. Her pretty sounds made your stomach turn and you could feel yourself get wet, and she herself. You got more handsy, pulling her hair harder than you intended, earning you a pretty moan from Ellie. You turned and pressed her against the wall, shoving your thigh between her legs and bringing your hands down to her hips, squeezing the flesh and guiding her to a rhythm on your leg. She gasped, breaking the kiss to look at you like a pretty puppy. You could tell something had shifted, almost as if no one had controlled her like that, or at least no one had done it correctly. Her eyes lit up and her lips parted, a pathetic whimper leaving her mouth as her hands went to your arms, holding onto you.

“What’re you doing?” she mumbled, her hips moving against your thigh in a slow pace.

“You don’t like it?” you tease, tilting your head at her, asking for a response.

She whined, not liking your condescending tone but she still nodded, “I do,” she muttered shyly.

You nodded, watching her pretty face change for every movement made her feel something different. Not to mention, your mocking tone made her head dizzy.

“You’re so fucking pretty,” you say breathlessly before leaning down to catch her mouth in a rough kiss.

You broke away, grabbing Ellie’s hand and taking her back to your room, shutting the door and immediately pressing her against it, your movements fast and rushed as you kissed her. Your hands were angsty, running all over her body as you grabbed handfuls of her shirt, pulling her into you. She then backed off the door, walking you backwards until the back of your legs hit your bed and she gently pushed you down, laying on top of you now.

“Slow down,” she murmured before going to your neck, immediately finding your sweet spot with her tongue, causing your face to twist in pleasure.

“Shut up,” you sighed, grabbing her and turning her onto her back on your bed, straddling her hips as you slowly began to grind on her, throwing your head back as you pressed your hands onto her chest, stopping her from sitting up.

“Let me kiss you,” she begged, taking one of your hands to her mouth, kissing your palm gently.

“Let me use you,” you breathed out, looking down at her and seeing how her face fell, taking the opportunity to gently insert your fingers into her mouth, making her suck on them. You smiled, watching her composure slip as her eyes slightly rolled back with your fingers in her mouth, “There she is,” you softly praise.

Ellie’s eyes darkened and she furrowed her brows at your words, feeling like a slut underneath you with your fingers in her mouth. You were toying with her and she liked it. Fuck. Ellie blushed at the sight of a pretty girl on top of her, grinding on her and bossing her around. It was a total wet dream come true.

You lean down, kissing the corner of her mouth as she continued to suck on your fingers, it almost being a mocking gesture since she couldn’t kiss you back. She whined, you cooed, and the both of you blushed.

“You look pretty like this, letting me do whatever I want,” you breathed out, rolling your hips against her torso and rubbing against your clit through your pants, making you arch your back. “Ellie,” you moan out breathily.

“Fuck… yeah?” she responded, her voice strained as your fingers lazily left her mouth, your hand finding its way to her throat.

“Need to fuck you,” you mumble, slowing your movements as you lean over to your drawer and stumble in it, eventually getting out a… strap?

Ellie’s brows furrowed and she looked at what you had, “What is that?” she said asked softly before sitting up and holding you in her lap. “You want me to wear that?” she asked with a raised brow as she looked between you and the toy.

You were horny. Needy. “Well, yes. But, I wanna… fuck myself on you. Ride you, is what I mean,” you mutter, kissing her cheek as she was close to you.

She grunted and nodded, “Okay, fuck, baby,” she breathed out as she gripped your hips and buried herself in your neck, kissing all over you.

“Take these off,” you murmured, tugging at her belt loops and slowly crawling off of her to sit on your haunches on your mattress, watching her with soft eyes.

Ellie moved frantically, almost making you laugh as she nearly tumbled as she yanked off her jeans. She stood up before you, looking down at you and tucking your hair behind your ear as you started to help her put the strap on. She finished the job, leaning down to kiss you softly, pushing you back onto the mattress so she could lay down beside you. You scooted out of the way, kissing her gently before taking off your top, causing Ellie’s breaths to go sharp.

She reached out, laying out her fingers on your tummy under your ribs before leaning forward to kiss your stomach, “Can I?” she muttered, her fingers toying with the hem of your bra and you nodded. You turned around and felt her hands ghost over your back until she lifted your bra, sitting up to kiss in between your shoulder blades.

Her movements were soft, attentive. Fire laid in her fingers’ wake as she raked down your skin, touching you and mesmerizing how you shivered under her hand. Her mouth kissed your spine but was felt across your entire being, your heart nearly breaking through your chest.

“So pretty,” she murmured, causing you to turn and look back at her, meeting her green eyes in a moment of intimacy that made you melt.

You turned around, cupping her head in your hands and kissing her softly, moving your body to straddle over her. Her hands went to your waist to help you settle, wanting you to be comfortable.

“Tell me if you’re uncomfortable, okay, Baby?” she muttered, breaking the kiss to bring one hand to your face, moving your hair out of the way to lock on your eyes.

You nod, “You too, pretty girl,” you spoke, leaning down to kiss her and she leaned up to meet you.

“Are you sure?” she mumbled, kissing your jaw and holding your waist with her arm.

You smiled, your heart gushing at how she wanted you to feel good and it turning you on even though it was innocent.

“Yes, I’m sure. Are you?” you mutter, leaning up to get a good look at your girl, watching her nod immediately as she licked her lips.

“Yeah, no, yeah. I’m… Fuck, yeah. I’m—yeah,” she rambled out, causing you to softly laugh as you leaned down to kiss her again.

“Okay, pretty girl, I’m gonna start, okay? Just relax for me, sweetheart,” you say, your words coaxing Ellie and causing her brows to knit slightly due to the petnames.

You then sat up, reaching between your legs to center yourself before looking at Ellie, almost in disbelief at the sight.

Ellie was in awe at the sight of you, nearly itching to thrust her hips up to get in the first move but she knew better, and she knew you’d know how to feel good on her. Her hands went to touch you, one on your waist, gentle fingers soothing you and the other hand went to grope your tit, your nipple pinched between her fingers.

You then sank down, just the tip causing you to gasp and Ellie’s breath mirrored yours, watching you swallow the toy slowly caused her to groan.

You watched her, how her brows knitted and how her eyes got low and dark for every inch that disappeared.

“Atta girl,” she breathed out, making you curse under your breath. “Feels good?” she asks, making you shake your head as you sank all the way down.

“Shut up,” you breathed out, settling yourself to accommodate to the stretch.

“What was that?” she asked, her hips bucking up slightly in a teasing manner.

You leaned forward, digging your nails into her torso to whimper, “Fuck, that’s not fair,” you mumble before moving your hips, making Ellie moan at the sight.

“There you go, Baby, fuck yourself just like that,” she whispered, making your mouth form an ‘o’ shape as she spoke to you. “My cock feel good, Love?” she drawled out, her hips meeting yours in an agonizingly slow pace.

Every movement was felt inside you and you struggled to respond, it being too much but you nodded and moaned out, “Yes, fuck, yeah,” it almost sounding like a cry.

“Yeah, Baby, it’s okay. No one ever fucked my girl this good, huh? There you go, Sweetheart, just like that,” she gritted out, her hands going to your ass to grope as she helped you go up and down, watching your face twist in pleasure. “Let it out, feel good for me.”

You nodded, going faster and letting moans leave your mouth. As you picked up your pace, the harness began to rub against Ellie’s clit and she moaned, making you turn red. Hearing her made you nearly faint and your eyes sparkled, wanting to hear more of it. Making it your goal, actually.

“You like watching me fuck myself on your cock, Baby?” you breathed out, watching Ellie throw her head back at your words. Her fingers dug into your skin and one hand going between your legs to rub your clit. The pressure caused your spine to arch and your hand went to her throat, squeezing.

“F— Fuck, fuck, Fuck,” she moaned out, her brain melting as she watched you, it being too much for her. Her clit ached and she wanted more, her hips bucking faster out of her control.

Your eyes rolled back and Ellie grunted, going faster on your clit as seeing you turned on made her ten times hornier.

“Fucking me so nice, Ells,” you whined, it feeling good as you both moved to make the other feel good. “Can… can you cum with me?” you breathed out, struggling to form words.

She scoffed, biting down on her lip, “Tryin’, Sweet girl,” she grunted, “Tryin’ to not cum before you,” she admitted, looking up at you as you moaned from hearing her words.

“‘M close,” you cried out, her fingers circling you clit and her words dragging you close, almost too close to ecstasy.

“Cmon, Baby, give it to me. Cum on my cock. Please? Please, Baby, I want it so bad please give it to me,” she began to whine, causing your jaw to drop at her change in tone and change in aspect.

Her begging you to cum? Fuck.

“Ellie,” you grunted, your hips’ movements going sloppy but she didn’t let up; she made up for what you lacked and she fucked up into you, wanting to make you cum so badly.

“Please, please, give it to me. Just for me, I’ve been so good for you, Love, just cum for me? Please?” she whimpered, the pleasure reaching her too and you leaned down to her without thinking, kissing her messily as the hand around her throat squeezed again, making her moan roughly into your mouth.

“Fuck!” you cried out, “Right there, fuck, Ellie, christ!” and your thighs closed around her waist, signaling Ellie that you were cumming.

She let herself go too, allowing herself to cum at the same time as you and the both of you cried out a harmony of whines and moans. She caught your lips in a kiss and swallowed your sounds, her hips staggering as you began to whimper from overstimulation.

You pinned her wrists, digging yourself into her to stop her movements so you could slowly ride it out for the both of you.

She shook her head, her clit sore and she begged you to stop under her breath and you obliged, slowing to a stop as you buried yourself in her neck, kissing her skin. You throbbed against the toy inside you and you kissed under her jaw.

“You… So good,” you whispered, making her smile and nod, bringing your hand to interlock your fingers as she kissed your wrist.

“You were good too, Baby. Did you feel good?” she asked softly, gently brushing your hair out of your face as she smiled at your fucked out state.

You hum, “Mhm,” as you rise and gasp at the loss of the feeling of her inside you.

You help her take off the harness, putting it on your dresser before going back to her. You brought your blanket over the both of you and you lay your head beside her. You both watched each other, her hand rising to your face, her fingers gently tracing the characteristics of your face, trying to memorize every dip and edge of you.

“You’re so beautiful,” she whispered.

You turned your hand to kiss her palm and you scooted closer, wrapping your arm around her stomach before kissing her mouth, the act being soft and loving.

“Stay with me,” you whispered, looking at her with eyes she could drown in endlessly, never caring how many times she died for it would be worth it.

She nodded, leaning in to kiss you before murmuring, “Always.”

[swordgrace]

& 𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐈’𝐌 𝐂𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐈𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔.

⠀ཾ༵ 𑁍┆ gwayne hightower x wife!reader.

SYNOPSIS: you and your husband decide to take advantage of the quiet gardens near the red keep.

anonymous request.

{ FORMAT: drabble — requested by anonymous.

{ WORD COUNT: 4.1K.

{ WARNINGS: SMUT (mdni), porn with little plot, risk of getting caught, semi-public sex, gwayne is a switch, cunt-drunk gwayne, sex in the red keep gardens, teasing, hair-pulling kink, oral sex (fem!rec), cunnilingus, groping, making out, dirty talk, mild praise kink, p in v sex (unprotected), mild scratching, soft ending.

{ AUTHOR’S NOTE: I am on the Gwayne train right now, I just adore writing for him. This is a smaller story, and I think writing some drabbles might do me a bit of good! I hope that you all enjoy! ❤️ Thanks so much for the love & support!

𝐁𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐩, 𝐠𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐫𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐫’𝐬 𝐞𝐯𝐞, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐑𝐞𝐝 𝐊𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 ����𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐡, 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐚𝐜𝐮𝐥𝐚𝐫 𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐚𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐫𝐚.

The smell was akin to a perfumed dowager, the air thick with roses and honey, petals drifting along in the evening breeze. It was a stark contrast to the pungent scent of the rest of the city — perhaps that is why you favored the gardens.

Orange tendrils of a waning sun spread across the leaves, verdant and bright, turning the gardens all sorts of colors — shades of emerald and gold, intermingling with the many flowers there.

Most souls that had occupied the gardens had made themselves scarce, turning it into a paradise that only you shared with another. You often admired the general splendor even when it was crowded, but now, it gave you a rather unobstructed view.

The various palette of the gardens, particularly any deeper shades of forest-green, matched that of your husband’s doublet, embroidered with golden thread. It was strange to see Gwayne removed from his armor, his silvery vassal that kept him well-protected.

In the aftermath of Rook’s Rest, there were days spent in respite, much to your delight. Though, war would steal him away from you again — you intended on making the most out of each moment, beseeching him to remain by your side. He obliged you, fortunately, and you never objected to it.

A golden hour, brightest before dusk, painted you in shades that Gwayne had committed to memory, your features bathed in dying light. You were swathed in gowns of cerulean, a deeper shade of azure that had brought him to heel when you emerged with it on.

Merrily, he often touted that he had the most beautiful wife in all of the realm, and such a sentiment didn’t change nor waver. It was resolute, done with a fondness that made its way to you.

“Perhaps, once this conflict comes to a close, you and I shall return to Oldtown,” Gwayne’s gallant resonance cut through the contented silence, his timbre often filled with regality, the elegant poise of a well-learned Knight. “I’ve grown surfeited by this grisly place.”

If Gwayne had not been so proficient with a blade, you suspected that a quill and his sharp tongue would’ve done him a world of good in another lifetime. His flowery speech had charmed you time and time again, and you were left captivated.

Oldtown had become your home, a sanctuary of which you and Gwayne had built a peaceful life together. With Prince Daeron in your care, it was something of a family — one that you suspected would grow in the near future.

“As have I,” With a gentle sigh, your fingers danced along his velvet-clad forearm, your arm interlaced with his as he led you through the teeming labyrinth. At twilight, it had become wonderfully quiet, a place of solace away from the bustling hum of the Red Keep. “It is a dour place.”

Dour was a mere understatement — Gwayne knew what harm this city could do, crushed beneath the oppressive weight of the Red Keep. Even in its architectural splendor, it remained a shadow, haunting your every step as it loomed above the both of you.

Even in the sanctuary of the Gardens, one could not escape it. He did not envy his sister for being sequestered here for most of her lifetime — he imagined that it likely led to a path of misfortune and frustration. Being in Oldtown, he could afford many liberties, freedoms that weren’t permitted in King’s Landing.

As you continued on your path, a stone terrace opened before you, a comely overlook with a sizable gazebo, marked by dimly-lit torches. Save for the picturesque view of Blackwater Bay, it was surrounded by foliage and flora on all sides.

Gwayne felt your concern in waves, an unspoken sentiment, knowing that he would be called to leave again. Cole’s armies were rallying to march to Harrenhal, and he was summoned to ride alongside him, the second-in-command. You had made your disdain for this known, and Gwayne couldn’t fault you for it.

“I would sorely dislike it if our time together was to be spent in silence,” He watched you through cerulean hues as you rounded the gazebo, moving toward the overlook. Waves gently lapped at the outcropping of rock, breaking upon it, saltwater kisses peppering your cheeks. “I have a duty, dearest.”

A begrudging sigh tore past your lips, and you staved off the sudden onslaught of turmoil. You had come to-terms with the inevitability of his departure — you had dealt with it once before, but the sting never lessened. “I understand. I loathe you and love you for it.” You murmured, your smile threadbare.

Your answer retained a twinge of lightheartedness to it, in the face of a bleak future. Gwayne couldn’t help but scoff, visage dancing with amusement as he stepped toward one of the massive walls of gardenias. Plucking a pale blossom from its stem, he crossed the stone to you, a gesture of affection.

“Loathe me, is that it?” Gwayne wouldn’t have your last moments together spent in melancholy — and you seemed to be in agreement. He placed the blossom behind your ear, carefully tucking it into place. “Have I vexed you so easily?”

Planting a palm against his chest, you allowed your fingertips to trace across plated velvet, dancing toward the Hightower sigil, embroidered into the collar. He was resplendent in noblemen’s garb, painfully handsome and fresh-faced, save for the healing cut upon his lip and bruised brow.

A taut, muscled arm moved to snake around your waist, effortlessly caging you in against him. Your saccharine scent invaded his senses, swarming around his head like a thick haze, one that he delighted in. Beneath the evening sky, he made his ardor for you known, a real and living thing.

“You are swift to credit yourself, husband. I may resort to knocking you from your pedestal.” You teased, tender voice growing softer, a mere purr to his ears. Gods, you were wonderfully divine — Gwayne brazenly squeezed your hip through your gowns, auburn brows lifting in amusement.

Instead of puffing his chest with a playful retort, Gwayne could no longer resist the tempting curve of your lips, craning down to kiss you. It was a sweet mingling of mouths, slow and exploratory, happy to take their time with one another.

The first inklings of an amorous heat crackled between the both of you, a rapturous hunger that hadn’t been sated since he returned from Rook’s Rest. You simply could not get enough of your beloved husband, hands clamoring from his plush doublet to his mane of copper tresses, gripping them tightly.

Even with the thicker material of your dress, Gwayne greedily grasped at your curves, able to feel the pliant swell of your physique beneath. You had already seduced him with your steep necklace and ample bosom — sometimes, you were more of a salacious minx than you were a maiden. He enjoyed you both ways.

Your chambers in the Red Keep seemed so far away, and neediness began to take root, desire flourishing where propriety could not. As you insistently tugged upon his auburn locks, Gwayne felt his cock stir to life within his trousers, twitching as if to remind him of his carnal need for you.

“Incomparable, I must confess,” Gwayne exhaled, hot breath fluttering across your visage. Hints of wine retained their presence upon his tongue, skin smelling of woodland musk and fine soaps. “Not a single wandering eye to find us here.” His timbre dropped into a delectable purr, lips pressing themselves to the curve of your jaw.

Exhilaration struck at the pit of your stomach, coupled with the familiar wave of arousal, its inklings slick and warm between your legs. “What are you implying, husband?” You asked, breathy and wanton, clinging to him like a drowning woman.

A low, teasing hum slipped betwixt his lips, mouth molding to your flesh, gliding across the slender column of your throat. One hand dropped to cup your derrière through the thicker material of your dress, longing to see it around your feet, instead.

A sheepish moan tore past your mouth, unabashedly stoking the fire that simmered between the both of you. Gwayne greedily lapped at your sweet skin, like a thick honey upon his tongue. “It is just you and I, sweetling. Might you indulge me?” He hummed, desperate to have you now that desire had taken hold.

Gods, you wanted him terribly.

It was a fascinating twist, with Gwayne wanting to have you here, given the publicity of the locale. He was often a man to take you to your chambers in the name of chivalry, but this daring, yearning side to him — you quite enjoyed it, his change of heart.

“Gods, I love you.” You sighed, feeling him relocate the both of you towards one of the thick, stone columns that held the gazebo aloft. It was rough against your back, but you cared little for it, hastily unlacing the bodice of your dress. The silken smallclothes you wore beneath would suffice.

A low, stifled groan escaped Gwayne’s mouth, cerulean hues sharp and amatory, roving over you with a thinly-veiled desire. “Seven Hells, you drive me to the brink of madness, wife.” He murmured, swiftly relieving you of that mound of azure velvet.

The simple slip you wore beneath clung to your curves, accentuating your physique in pale shades of ivory, nipples peeking through the thin material. His hand slithered beneath, seeking to find the slick heat of your cunt, pushing your legs apart with his thigh.

Gathering your slip within your hands, you tugged the material up, until it pooled around the swell of your hips, giving him unhindered access. Gwayne careened forward, mouth colliding with yours, lips desperately craving every fiber of your being.

His other hand moved to cup your breast through your gown, thumb languidly swiping over your pebbled nipple, teasing the bud as he rolled it between his fingers. A sharp, noisy gasp escaped you, followed by the unrestrained sound of a moan.

Your hands clamored to perch atop his shoulders, sinking down into the velvet, longing to see him naked. If you closed your eyes, it was easy to imagine, but you desired the real thing. With haste, your digits slipped toward the line of golden clasps along the front, aiming to get it unbuttoned.

“You minx.” Gwayne panted into your mouth, digits beginning to stroke along your slit. Much to his delight, you were already warmed, wet and honey-thick upon his fingers. Lips twined in hot clashes, and he never allowed it to devolve into something sloppy. Each kiss possessed meaning, a fervent love for you.

As you unclasped his doublet, he moved his arms enough to relinquish the stuffy weight of the fabric, musculature lean and taut, his skin pale and glittering in the gentle twilight. It let you squeeze his shoulders, tracing over the freckles there, reveling in his bare flesh.

Gwayne released a few breathy ‘I love you’s’ into your lips, before he relocated to the sensitive column of your throat. He spoke with reverence, as if he had come to worship his goddess, lay himself down at your feet. Your fingers wove themselves against the nape of his neck, tugging on his copper locks.

Practiced, dexterous digits continued to caress along your cunt, before pushing past your folds. He grazed your clit, sending a rush of goosebumps cascading down the length of your spine. “Gwayne,” You moaned, the sweetest melody to his ears as you rocked forward, desperate for any shred of friction. “Please!”

His cock twitched again within his breeches, aching with something powerful, needing to be inside of you. Patience was his virtue and his agony — he still wanted to taste your first. He continued to knead into your breast, evoking another blissful whine from you.

Despite wearing his honor and chivalry like a coat of armor, he cared little for the consequences of potentially being caught. He would ravish his beloved wife here in these gardens — there was no sin in such an act. Kissing along your jugular, he felt you grip and pull on his hair, filling him with an excitable fire.

“Gods, I must taste you,” Gwayne groaned, voice tinged with an alluring husk, palm continuing to caress the plush swell of your breast. The thin, silken strap of your slip began to sag, and he did not fix it, exposed to the unblemished plane of your collarbone. “If you will permit me to do so.”

“You needn’t ask, husband,” A wanton whimper left you when Gwayne’s digits abandoned your cunt, though it would soon be replaced with the fine heat of his greedy tongue. Through a lovesick gaze, you observed in rapturous silence as Gwayne sank to his knees, as if he were preparing to pray. “I belong to you.”

Watching his auburn crown move towards the apex of your thighs was a most tantalizing sight, causing your breath to hitch within your throat. Molten heat surged within your belly, churning with a violent anticipation as you braced one hand atop his shoulder.

A sight to die for, to kill for — Gwayne would’ve fought a thousand battles if it meant that you were the reward at the very end, a resplendent maiden in all of your glory. He would’ve endured torture unimaginable for you, razed down armies, destroyed cities all for you.

The first lap of his tongue caused your knees to buckle, raking hot embers across your cunt. He wedged his way in between your legs, shoulders keeping you apart just enough. Gwayne was quite candid about his enjoyment of tasting you — thoroughly cunt-struck.

A groan stirred within his chest as your fingers grazed through his copper tresses, finding their purchase near the base of his skull. He did not relent, tongue carefully splitting past your folds, greeted by the saccharine onslaught of your arousal.

“Gwayne.” A breathy sigh tore past your parted lips, lulled into subservience from the steady, exploratory laps of his tongue. He was sluggish, allowing the anticipation to mount, nose brushing along your mound.

Your taste was ambrosial, thick and heady, like a haze that he had no desire to escape from. There were many moments where he’d dreamed of this, on the march to Rook’s Rest, sprawled across his cot, fantasizing of you again and again.

He quite enjoyed the way in which you sighed his name, passion bubbling forth from your chest, head rolled back against the stone column. Careworn palms reached for your haunches, delighted to take their fill of you, caressing along the backs of your thighs.

“Exquisite,” Gwayne exhaled, catching his breath to press a string of kisses all along the inside of your thighs. “By the Seven, you taste divine.” He groaned, drunk and dizzy from your cunt. A soft moan escaped you as you coaxed him back, and he willingly obliged.

With another hot, eager lap of his tongue over your core, your knees rattled like leaves in the breeze, feeling his shoulders bully their way between your legs. A brusque, warm breeze fluttered throughout the gazebo, bathed in the waning light of the sunset. Stars began to glisten overhead, unhindered by the clouds.

Gwayne’s eagerness was palpable, able to be felt as he buried his face into your cunt, cerulean eyes fluttering shut in an expression of bliss. A groan stirred within his throat, fluttering throughout his chest as you fisted his auburn tresses, soft beneath your palms.

You could not get enough of him, keeping your hands on him in whatever way you could, chest heaving with wanton sighs. Carnality and desire permeated the air, the atmosphere thick with desperation. You always treated each moment as if it would be your last.

His mouth fervently worked against your slick cunt, sending pleasant shockwaves into the pit of your stomach. Goosebumps danced along your spine, followed by a shiver that made you moan. Your hips rolled forward, shamelessly grinding yourself into your husband’s waiting lips.

With a flick of his tongue, Gwayne sought the pearl of your cunt, lips eagerly kissing their way to your clit. He planted feather-light kisses around that sensitive clutch of nerves, causing you to tremble, digits tightening within his hair. Your grip was ironclad, but it was pleasurable for him, knowing you were enjoying yourself.

“Gods, Gwayne,” You whined, listening to the lewd noises of your chivalrous paramour suckling on your clit. Another onslaught of molten heat swirled within your stomach, seeping into your bones, manifesting as arousal between your thighs. “Do — Do not stop!” The urgency in your voice had increased exponentially.

If there were any evening stragglers in the Royal Gardens, you prayed to the Seven that they would not stumble upon the both of you.

The sight itself was inherently sinful, with you haplessly pressed against the stone column, gallant dress strewn across the ground, slip sagging along your physique. Gwayne’s emerald doublet had joined your garments below. You reveled in the sight of his head between your thighs, causing you to whimper.

Gwayne could detect when you were accelerating towards your release, able to feel the twitches and tremors in your thighs. He soothingly stroked along your silky flesh, interchanging between the greedy suckling of your clit, to long, broad strokes of his tongue.

His lips glistened with a sticky sheen of your nectar, of a finer stout than many, more delectable than any wine that had befallen his mouth. Gwayne worshiped you, kissed the ground you walked upon, and he did not feel an ounce of shame in it.

His cock throbbed with a desperate ache, precum slick around the head as it strained against his trousers. Your own satisfaction spurred him on, and your delightful noises only sent him spiraling into the depths of depravity. You hadn’t a clue of the things you did to him.

In a brazen maneuver, his tongue prodded against your entrance, gingerly thrusting inside of you. You gasped, biting at the inside of your cheek, digits raking through his auburn locks. You let your grip loosen, hips careening forward into his mouth again.

Gwayne ravished you, with the ravenous appetite of a starving dog. He moved back just enough to lap at your cunt, making a blazing trail from your entrance to your clit. “I’m close,” You huffed, issuing some warning to him before the dam had burst altogether. “Gwayne!”

It was the only word you knew in the present, his name — it rolled from your tongue in a delighted cry, laced with ardor and reverence. You reached your peak, shamelessly spilling yourself upon his tongue, and he was enamored with you.

With careful, sluggish strokes of his tongue, he delicately cleaned the mess he made of you, allowing you to bring yourself down from your peak. Even if the intensity had made you burn at a fever pitch, you were far from finished, tugging on Gwayne’s tresses to get his attention.

“Take me, husband,” It wasn’t a request — it was a demand, a command made upon a yearning wife. Desire glistened like a thick sheen within his cerulean eyes, which happened to widen at the sight of you. “Please.” You didn’t have to beg — Gwayne wanted you just as terribly.

He swiftly rose from between your legs, pupils dilated with lust as he steered you toward the stone bannister of the overlook, wide enough to support you. You sat down, hastily fumbling with the leather ties of his trousers. Gwayne parted your legs again, bending over you as he sought your mouth.

The taste of arousal — yours — fell heavy upon your tongue, lips clashing together as you desperately sought to free his cock from its confines. “I need you,” Gwayne husked against your mouth, pearlescent teeth briefly snagging on your lower lip. “Gods, how I’ve missed this, missed you.”

“Gwayne,” A moan escaped you, intermingling with his husky pants and sonorous groans. His forehead nudged against yours, lips hot and needy, and you were more than happy to reciprocate. “I need you, I …” Your voice tapered off when his cock slid against your folds.

He kept you steady, hands caging you against the bannister, the stone biting into your back as he kept you at an angle. Silk gathered around your hips, friction wafting between the both of you as he thrust forward, cock sinking into you.

Hitching a leg around his waist as best as you could, your hands roamed to his chest, nails digging into his collarbone as he began to find an erratic pace. He was loving and passionate, even still, but there was something inherently quick about his rhythm.

Perspiration glittered along his brow from the warm evening, yet it did not stop him from pounding away at you. His cock filled you perfectly, providing a delectable stretch that made your toes curl. It wasn’t an intimidating thing, but it was pretty, just like the rest of him.

Through his clenched teeth, Gwayne sang your praises, savoring the way in which your cunt constricted around him, as if drawing him in. “Seven Hells, your cunt is perfection,” Such lewd, crass words sounded so eloquent coming from his lips, as debonair as a Prince. “I cannot get enough of you, sweet wife.” He groaned.

Despite his crudely-spoken compliment, you were lost within the throes of your own pleasure, body rocked into submission by each snap of his hips. His cock bottomed out within you, movements swift yet punctuated, as if every thrust possessed meaning.

You loved Gwayne unconditionally — perhaps too much, if such a thing were possible. Your chest heaved with sweet, passionate sighs and gentle moans, forehead occasionally brushing against his. His hands kept themselves firm along your waist, curling into the silk of your slip.

His cock battered away at your slick cunt, aided by your mounting arousal. Everything felt so feverishly warm, as if you had been set ablaze, nerves feeling like they were steeped in fire. “More,” You moaned, and it effectively caught Gwayne’s attention. “Gwayne, please.” He was weak to your soft pleas.

Your beloved husband lacked harshness when it came to intimacy, something you adored about him. Even when his thrusts became desperate and erratic, chasing after his release, he never resorted to using you. His lips sought the column of your throat, nose brushing along your jugular.

A string of kisses peppered themselves against your sweet flesh, with the occasional suckling of his lips to your neck. A myriad of throaty whines and whimpers continued to leave you in droves, cunt pathetically clenching around him.

Buckling forward, Gwayne planted one palm against the stone bannister, the other caging in around you as he continued to pound away into your needy cunt. He kissed you wherever he could, dwindling into desperation and the innate desire to taste your sweet flesh.

His lips parted slightly, a strained grunt escaping him as he thrust forward again, until there was nowhere left for him to go. Gwayne pulled back just enough, the head of his cock still inside of you before he moved forward again. The friction made you shiver, fingers grasping at the nape of his neck.

His name continued to slip from your mouth, over and over again, like a whispered prayer. Your nails left behind red crescents upon his skin, sharp brands of your lovemaking. Gwayne groaned against your throat, desiring to kiss you once more, lips laying claim to yours with a fervor.

With another snap of his hips, Gwayne shuddered, nearly collapsing into you as he reached his peak. Hot ropes of seed brazenly spilled inside of you, warming your insides as he attempted to catch his breath. You pressed your forehead to his, breathing with him, allowing your hands to slack.

Gwayne politely removed himself from you, mindful of your garments as he fixed your gown back into place. The slip itself was disheveled, but he ensured its tidiness before you got dressed again.

“How divine you are,” Gwayne hummed, planting gentle kisses along the side of your face before it ended at the curve of your jaw. “Beautiful beyond comprehension.” He murmured, using two digits to delicately place the strap of your slip back upon your shoulder.

“You flatter me, husband,” Your smile was warm and amiable, the brightness of springtime, bringing a rosy flush to his features. “I quite enjoyed your brazen streak.” Through a smitten confession, Gwayne kissed your brow, lips twitching into a debonair smirk.

“I am not ashamed of ravishing my wife, be it in our chambers or in the garden,” He replied, reaching for his velveteen doublet and your azure dress. It was easy for him to slip back into the stuffy material, and he was more than happy to assist you. “I cannot get enough of you.”

His words were tantalizing, as if intended to bring about another string of salacious thoughts. Gwayne stood behind you as you stepped back into your dress, helping to lace your bodice up again. He planted a kiss along your exposed shoulder, and then to the crook of your neck.

You reached for his hand, letting it drape across your shoulder as you pressed a delicate kiss against his bruised knuckles. “You shall have me, Gwayne — for as long as you desire me.” You sighed, feeling his nose brush along your cheek, the warmth of his body pressing in behind you.

With a kiss to your temple, one oozing with such fondness and ardor that you feared you might melt, Gwayne’s lips hovered near the shell of your ear. In the twinkling dusk, he held you close. “Forever, then.”