#and the potential consequences of losing herself...

[starry-kattz]

Is it weird that I'm seeing character parallels between Sayaka Miki (Madoka Magica) and Ragatha (Digital Circus)?

[elleaitch22]

Terms of Endearment

Chapter 4: Terms and Conditions

Pairing: Paige Bueckers x Azzi Fudd

A/N: Hope you love it! Comments and messages motivate me to write faster! xx Elle

Warnings: References to past abusive relationship, self-worth issues, power imbalances

Word Count: 3.7k

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Azzi hadn’t slept well for the rest of the week. She spent her nights tossing and turning, weighing the pros and cons to agreeing with Paige’s offer.

Paige had reverted to her normal, detached self by Wednesday morning, and Azzi was relieved to know that if she accepted the offer, it wouldn’t be obvious to her coworkers.

When Azzi’s answer was still up in the air on Thursday, she spent the night writing an actual pros and cons list.

Pros

Paige was obnoxiously wealthy, so whatever compensation she offered could have Azzi out of debt in months.

She could seem desirable again, even if she wasn’t truly desired by her “partner.”

She wouldn’t always be so lonely, since she’d able to spend more time with Soleil.

She would feel loved, purely loved, by Soleil.

Cons

Azzi is easily attached, and her heart would definitely break when Paige met someone new and decided to end their arrangement.

She would probably forget that everything is fake at some point.

Worst of all, Azzi might find out that Grant had been right about everything. She wasn’t worth anything by being a pretty little trophy.

The potential benefits greatly outweigh the consequences.

She could gain her livelihood, or she could lose her heart. Or worse, she could feel like she belonged somewhere, just to be reminded that she didn’t.

If something doesn’t scare you it’s not worth it, Azzi.

Her mind was made up.

She was going to accept Paige’s offer — and hope, pray, and beg that she wouldn’t fall for the blonde in the meantime.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Azzi felt confident walking toward room 35, or at least that’s what she told herself. She was wearing a short, black corset and her favorite pair of floor shoes. All of her hair had been gathered to sit on the top of her head, intentional in its imperfection. She wore dramatic makeup — a brown smoked out eye and red lip.

Tonight’s look was armor, but her chest still tightened with every step she took.

She walked into the suite at 10:58, heart racing, and froze for a second.

Paige was already there, stretched lazily across the couch, one arm draped along the back, the other nursing a Dirty Shirley.

“Hi, Paige.” Her voice small, but steady.

The woman in question smirked, lifting her drink lazily to her lips. “Good evening, Azzi. I’m assuming you made up your mind?”

Azzi shifts on her feet, fighting the urge to cross her arms. She needs something to do with her hands. Tug at a curl, fix her corset, hide. “Um, yes. I’d like to accept.” She hesitated, then added, “But I would like more information.”

Paige tilted her head, studying the brunette intently. “Well, first,” she said, her voice smooth, low, and disarmingly soft, “I need you to look at me.”

The words slipped into Azzi’s bloodstream like warm liquor, and she was helpless to do anything but obey. Without thinking, she lifted her chin, locking eyes with her — and immediately felt the air leave her lungs. Paige’s gaze was steady, calm, utterly unbothered, like Azzi’s nerves, her overthinking, her entire body were small and manageable things to her.

“Good. Thank you, Azzi.” A beat of silence. “Come sit.”

It wasn’t a command exactly, but Azzi knew it wasn’t a request either.

A blush bloomed high on her cheeks. Every step across the room felt like a giant’s, even though the only audible sound in the room was the low voice of Brent Faiyaz and the light clicking of her shoes.

When she reached the couch, she hesitated for a second, not wanting to sit too close or too far.

Over the next hour, the mood shifted. Azzi had expected teasing, ogling, or inappropriate comments, but Paige had don’t none of those things. Instead, they went through all expectations, like an informal contract.

No signatures, no pens, no pressure, just Paige steadily outlining terms, giving Azzi the space to breathe, question, or push back if she wanted.

Azzi was completely disarmed by the ten-minute mark.

The arrangement would initially last for six months, with the option to renew if both parties agreed. Like any typical job, Azzi would need to give Paige two weeks of notice before ending it.

Azzi didn’t say it, but she was relieved. She would not be trapped. It was a small kindness that meant everything to her.

She listened as Paige explained the appearances she would have to make as Paige’s partner: business events, charity galas, and dinners. There would also be at least one weekly outing with Paige, Soleil, or both for appearances.

Azzi agreed with everything until Paige added, “Apparel will be styled by Jana. All expenses covered.”

Grant used to dress her, and she hated it. “I can pick my own outfits, right?”

There was a playful glint in Paige’s eye, “Of course, J always provides options.”

When the two discussed physical affection, Azzi bit the inside of her pink cheeks.

It wasn’t mandated, but handholding, hugs, cheek kisses – casual intimacy – would be what sold their illusion.

Azzi sent up a silent prayer because God knows Azzi is a sucker for a forehead or cheek kiss. This was going to end very badly for her.

The confidentiality clause came next. Paige offered an NDA, but when she said it wasn’t required, Azzi declined.

“I don’t really have any close friends in the city.”

When the conversation moved to compensation, the first crackle of real tension sparked between them.

“I want to pay you five thousand a week, “Paige said smoothly, swirling the ice in her glass, a tequila soda now. “Minimum”

Azzi choked on the espresso martini Paige had ordered for her. She stared at the blonde, eyes and mouth wide. “Five thousand a month would be more than enough! I don’t –”

Paige’s answering grin was lazy, slow, and pure trouble. “I think you should just accept the offer, Azzi,” she said, melting deeper into the couch. “Because honestly, I wanted to do more.”

Azzi’s hands curled into fists. “You’re being ridiculous. What if I don’t accept?”

“If you don’t want to agree, that’s fine.” Azzi brightened, not noting the smirk covered by the glass. “I’ll just pay off all your shit now.”

Azzi blinked, cheeks burning. “You don’t even have any of my account information.”

Paige lowered her glass a bit, letting Azzi see her smirk. “You really don’t think I could figure it out?” Azzi’s heart stuttered watching Paige take another sip of her drink, “Now I’m tempted to since you doubt me.”

Azzi’s mouth opened, then shut. Her thighs pressed together involuntarily. There was a thrill in the threat. Grant wanted the restrict her money, but Paige wanted to give her more. Her instance helped knock down another wall.

“Please,” Paige added, voice dry as summer heat, “keep arguing, so I can pay you more.”

Azzi folded.

When Paige informed her that she’d be paying an extra thousand dollars for major events, Azzi had to physically restrain herself from crossing her arms and pouting. She muttered something unintelligible under her breath that made Paige laugh, a low and genuine sound that tugged at something vulnerable inside Azzi. “That’s what I thought,” Paige smirked.

They moved through the rest of the agreement without any issues – conduct expectations, social media, and emotional boundaries.

Paige was relaxed a lazily throughout the entire conversation.

But when the subject of perks came up again, Paige shifted slightly. More careful and deliberate now that she had a better understanding of Azzi Fudd.

Azzi listed as Paige explained – the respect, the equal treatment, the way the media would spin the story of Chicago’s favorite bachelorette finally off the market.

It almost reassured her until Paige popped her happy little bubble.

She cleared her through and said, almost casually, “I want you to live in my building.”

Azzi stiffened. She set her martini glass down roughly.

“Absolutely not.”

Paige flushed – the first real crack in her shiny armor – and lifted her hands slightly, almost as if she wanted to show she wasn’t armed. “Hear me out, Azzi. Please.”

Azzi arched a brow and folded her arms across the corset. She fought a smirk at the way Paige’s eyes briefly darted to her cleavage. Another crack in the armor.

“I own the building,” Paige said quickly. “I also –” She hesitated, “I’ve never dated anyone publicly before. Even when I was married, no one knew until after the fact. So, if I’m going to be seen with someone, it’s supposed to be serious. Marriage serious.”

Azzi stared at her, stunned. “No one even knows where I live!”

Paige’s voice sharpened. “You don’t think they’re going to find out?” She pressed her fingers into her temple. “I’m a celebrity, Azzi. They’re going to figure it out. They’re going to know everything about you in a few days.”

A breath.

“I need to protect you. Please let me.”

Paige didn’t command it.

She didn’t even say it like an order.

It was…pleading.

She was pleading to keep Azzi safe.

Something cracked open in Azzi’s chest.

Whether Paige had picked up on her need for safety or simply cared in her own stubborn way, Azzi didn’t know.

But either way – she was sold.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Azzi found out on Saturday morning that Paige Bueckers didn’t do anything halfway. At 7 a.m. sharp, movers were outside her apartment, loading her things into a truck bound for her new home for the next six months.

About thirty minutes in, one of the movers casually mentioned that a car was waiting downstairs.

She scrambled to get dressed, pulling on biker shorts, an oversized t-shirt, and a pair of worn Crocs. She brushed her teeth in a hurry, and her hair was tossed up in an extremely messy ponytail.

Waiting outside the blacked-out Escalade was a tall, slim brunette, way too smiley for this hour. “Good morning Ms. Fudd,” she chirped happily. “My name’s Morgan. Paige assigned me to be your driver.”

Azzi blinked. Obviously, she hadn’t woken up all the way. “Oh. Please call me Azzi. And only for today, right?” She questioned.

“Oh, no,” Morgan shrugged like it was completely normal. “Just whenever she tells me to stop, I guess.”

Her brain buffered. They hadn’t talked about car service. Azzi yanked her phone from where it was tucked in her bra, slowly shutting her eyes and realizing that she didn’t even have Paige’s number. She huffed loudly, stomping to the back door.

“I don’t care what she told you to do, but I need you to take me to her. Now!”

The door opened from the inside.

Paige sat there, legs cross, with a perfectly shaped brow arched like she had been expecting Azzi’s reaction.

“Good morning, Princess,” she smirked.

Azzi climbed in with a scowl, “You didn’t say anything about a driver yesterday.”

“No, but I did say I was going to provide protection.” She turned to the front, “Take us home, Morgan.”

Azzi fastened her seatbelt and crossed her arms dramatically.

“Azzi, the first event is tonight. I meant to tell you last night, but it was a little late. I figured we could kill two birds with one stone. Moving you in and doing your first fitting.”

Azzi glared at the relaxed blonde. “Do we have time for anything I want? Like breakfast?”

“Oh, you’re hangry.” She smiled. Like an honest to God grin. Azzi almost melted. Paige looked to pure, not at all like the hard ass Azzi had been used to seeing.

“We have breakfast together on Saturdays. You can meet the rest of the family. You’ll be interacting at events, so you need to be comfortable with them.” She continued.

The brunette’s mood lifted at the promise of breakfast. She leaned her head back against the seat, the buildings passing in a blur. Of course, Paige owned a building in Downtown Chicago.

But when Morgan finally stopped, Azzi’s jaw dropped.

Paige owned the Aurelia.

Morgan got out and opened the door, giggling at Azzi’s gaping expression. Azzi slid out of the car, jumping slightly at the hand that gently landed on the small of her back.

Paige gently steered Azzi through the lobby. She didn’t speak to anyone, distracted by the fact that she could see her reflection in the glossy, black floors. They had a short trek to the elevator where she pressed her thumb into a seemingly random spot.

“Penthouse 8,” said a soft, robotic voice.

Azzi looked up startled, realizing her gaze had been dropped the entire walk through the lobby. In the mirrored elevator walls, she was able see Paige.

It dawned on her that she hadn’t really looked at Paige since she picked her up this morning. She wasn’t in a flawless suit, there was nothing flawless about her for once. Her gray sweatpants hung low on her hips, and she was swallowed by an old, navy UConn sweatshirt. Her blonde locks were left down, looking effortlessly soft and silky.

She looked soft, not strict. Comfortable, not controlled. Azzi found herself almost craving to see her like this more.

When the elevator doors opened, music filled the metal box. “How Far I’ll Go” was blaring through the surround sound system. Even louder than the music were deep belly laughs.

Azzi’s heart clenched, unable to remember the last time she laughed like that, the last time she could laugh like that. She was frozen in place, unable to move, or breathe, or think.

“You coming?” The sight of Paige’s small smirk snapped Azzi out of her mind.

Azzi was only able to catch glimpses as she followed Paige through the penthouse. There was a dining room that could house a dozen people and a perfectly styled living room, and both were surely untouched.

Though many surfaces were covered in flour, Paige had the kitchen of Azzi’s dreams. The dark sage cabinets brought the kitchen to life without being overpowering. They were beautifully balanced with the large oak island and marble countertops. There were six rust orange bar chairs. The brushed brass added warmth throughout the space. The large gray fridge was completely covered with Soleil’s creations. Handwriting sheets, princess coloring pages, learning activities alike. There were polaroid photos mixed in Soleil’s works. Azzi was able to see some more of the important people and stupidly wondered if she would ever grace the Bueckers Family Fridge. There was a dining nook off the end of the kitchen with floor to ceiling windows casting light over the large round table. It was big enough for six people, and Azzi could almost picture the room being filled with loud laughs, silly stories, and fantastic food like this morning.

Soleil stood with flour on her chest and a grin on her face. Next to her was a tall woman with curly, dark hair. Azzi wondered which aunt this was, KK or Ice.

Then came the squeal. “Mommy!”

Soleil came tearing across the hardwood floors in light blue pajamas, dark curls bouncing. “MS. FUDD!” She gasped, even louder than before.

Azzi had no time to brace herself as the ball of boundless energy buried her face in her legs.

“Good morning, Soleil.” She smiled calmly, a stark contrast to the girl’s energy. She brushed the curls out of her face, heart warming at the affection.

Paige cut their moment short, easily lifting Soleil to her shoulders. “Azzi’s joining us for breakfast today. And after that, Auntie Jana is going to get her a pretty dress for tonight’s dinner.”

Soleil gasped dramatically, turning to her teacher with wide eyes. “You’we coming with us? You can see all my pwetty dwesses!”

“Maybe after breakfast, Lai,” Paige said, gently putting her in a chair at the island. “Everybody’s kinda hungry.”

Azzi crouched by her chair, “I’ll be here all day, Pretty Girl. And guess what,” she lowered her voice like she was sharing her deepest secret, “I just moved into the building, so you’re gonna be seeing a lot more of me.”

Unbeknownst to Azzi, Paige stood in the doorway, watching the two brunettes giggling with each other. Her chest tightened before she turned away to message the other girls.

Paige walked back to the kitchen, locking her phone. When she looked up, she was stuck again. Lei was cuddled into Azzi’s lap, waiting calmly while the woman braided her hair.

“I think I need to hire you full time, she never sits still when I try,” Paige smirks.

“I thought you already did,” Azzi said, her voice soft, eyes flicking up to meet Paige’s just as Soleil interrupted with a dramatic, “But you tug, Mommy.”

Their eyes held for a second longer than necessary. Paige smiled, slow and quiet.

Paige stared at the duo until the elevator chimed loudly.

“Hey girly pops!” KK’s voice rings out, “It smells like syrup and rich people in here!”

A few seconds later, four women step into the kitchen. Azzi remembers Nika and Jana from Maison Noire and the talk one who was in the kitchen earlier, but the loudest one is a new face.

“Is that Azziiiii?” Jana sings excitedly.

Azzi chuckles, letting Soleil slide off her lap to greet her aunts. “It’s nice to see you again, Jana.”

“Auntie KK!” Soleil screams, running into the loud woman’s arms.

“Azzi, that’s KK and that’s Ice, and you remember Nika.” Jana beckoned the curly headed woman to her with a subtle tilt of her head. “Come on, I’ll give you the tour.”

The Bueckers’s home was unexpectedly intimate. It didn’t feel like wealth — it felt like warmth. Like being held. That was the only way Azzi could describe it. She had expected lots of silvers, grays, and sharp edges. The penthouse had light oak floors and warm cream walls. There was an underlying smell of vanilla and lavender in every room Azzi had been in. A space built for laughter and softness. She was happy to know that the almost sterile living and dining room were formal and ignored; the rooms the family actually used were deeper into the penthouse.

The living room was flooded with light from the massive windows. It had big, white, boucle couches that looked like they would be perfect to melt into. There were camel-colored sitting chairs that were butter soft. The accents reminded Azzi of a sunset, soft pinks, purples, oranges, and blues. Chunky knit blankets were piled in a basket, with another on the couch. There was a massive television mounted to an eye-catching slat wall. A sidebar was opened to display bins of playdoh, LEGOs, art supplies, and books. Soleil’s family portrait was framed, sitting proudly on the coffee table. As Azzi looked around, she saw more framed pieces that Soleil had made. A series of off-centered rainbows, unicorns, and butterflies were organized in a beautiful collage over the fireplace. The cabinet behind the couch had drawings of their family, each in a different color. The entire room seemed to be a shrine to praise Soleil.

Jana told funny stories for every room the visited. She was sweet and humble. “I appreciate everything you’re doing to help Paige. She does so much for everyone else, and she never asks for any help. She saved all of us, but no one has ever been able to save her.” She paused, “Even if this arrangement ends, you’re help one of us. You’ll always have a family with us.”

Tears welled in Azzi’s eyes. “You guys don’t even know me.” She sniffled.

“You went to bat for Soleil – that’s more than enough to make you family. Everything else you’re doing is just gravy.” Before Azzi could respond, her stomach let out the loudest growl. “Shit girl, I’m sorry. Let’s get you some food.”

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Soleil stayed cuddled up with Azzi the second she sat down at the table. The girl alternates between eating her French toast sticks and picking at the strawberry and kiwi slices on Azzi’s plate.

The girls made sure she was comfortable. KK and Ice made sure to bring her in on jokes, telling the background stories of all the inside jokes they went through at the table.

Azzi had learned that the women all went through an intense LEGO phase in college. They ate so much Tru Fru that someone had to go to the hospital. After that obsession waned a bit, the Crumbl one started, so intense that there were big arguments about it.

She enjoyed getting a feel for everyone’s personality. Nika spent most of the meal talking with Paige lowly, but she would interject here and there. She was blunt, which Azzi believed added to her charm. KK was loud, energetic, and magnetic. She lightened the mood whenever there was too long of a pause during conversation. She seemed to be the closet with Ice, but physically leaning on Paige several times during breakfast. Ice was warm, always making sure Azzi felt included in the conversation. She spoke with Soleil animatedly and gave a general air of openness. Jana was kind and welcoming. She asked questions and gave Azzi her attention when she answered. She was so smiley, like a mellower version of Soleil. She was realizing that Paige Bueckers is not cold at all. Sure, she had a façade, but that’s all it was. Paige had smiled more today than Azzi had ever seen her smile. It wasn’t for her, but she couldn't shake the warmth she felt each time their eyes met, like being caught in the sun a little too long.

When Soleil lifted a piece of sausage to Azzi’s face without looking, she could almost feel herself latching onto the little girl, to this makeshift family.

Azzi was at war with herself. On one hand, she knew that getting attached to them would lead to months of heartache. But she remembered what Jana had told her earlier; she was already family to them.

Azzi hoped, just for a second, that Jana was right, and that this would be a family she could keep.

[blueskittlesart]

personally im super interested on your thoughts about how noelle holiday is the only character in the world that matters

NOELLE HOLIDAY THE ONLY CHARACTER IN THE WORLD THAT MATTERS. THE ONLY GIRL ON EARTH. JESUS. HOLD ON.

Noelle is the girl-next-door that kris has sort of grown away from over the years. they're friends, but they don't go out of their way to talk to each other, and in a sense, they both somewhat represent what the other has lost, since the event that pushed them away from each other was also (implicitly) the event that broke their respective families--dess's disappearance. We don't know what happened to dess, but we DO know how it affected both the dreemurs and the holidays--asgore lost his job and, as far as he's concerned, he and toriel's marriage fell apart because of it; Carol became neurotic and cold to her family; and both kris and noelle lost a significant portion of their support system when their parents' friend group shattered. Noelle initially describes her and kris's relationship as having been "forced together" as kids because they were neighbors and their parents were friends, but especially with the addition of the new chapters it's pretty clear they were significantly closer than that. The entire holiday family was over at the dreemur house watching tv most nights; dess has asriel's shirts and his retainer in her room; Kris takes pencils from noelle's desk 'out of habit' and she literally has a plant named after them; she makes multiple references to specific pranks and games kris would pull on her when they were kids; etc etc. This is clearly a much deeper relationship than noelle wants it to seem. She is deliberately distancing herself from kris for reasons that are kind of unclear to us, but what we learn in chapter 4 (and especially the weird route) paints a bit of a clearer picture as to why she reacts the way she does.

One of the major things we know about noelle from chapter 2 is that she believes herself to be a coward. she makes repeated reference to dess standing up for her or protecting her and doesn't seem to believe she's capable of doing things on her own. She allows berdly to steamroll over her when it comes to both their group project and her personal feelings about him; she freaks out about the mouse puzzles; etc etc. It very quickly becomes clear in chapter 2 that noelle has MORE than enough potential, but has mental blocks in place that prevent her from standing up for herself. She believes she is too weak and too emotional to be a "strong person"--an ideal which she likely attributes to dess. (and consequently, this is the exact trait that allows the player to abuse her in the weird route, because her lack of faith in herself combined with her trust in kris allows her to be ordered around against her own moral compass.) Compounded onto this is the fact that dess is gone, and she took with her most of what noelle would have considered her "normal" life. She is no longer able to talk to kris like she used to because she is afraid to bring up the elephant in the room that forced them apart in the first place. She couldn't win the spelling bee against berdly because she froze in place, unable to even say her sister's name.

I think noelle is really, really afraid that things will never be normal again. She won't, or CAN'T be close with kris and the dreemurs because it brings up more complicated issues that she knows have the potential to uproot her family dynamic again. She is the only person in the world, up to and including kris's OWN PARENTS, who noticed when kris started being controlled, but she is so terrified of and losing the closest thing to normal she has that she would rather allow her best friend to drift further and further away and become less and less recognizable to her than say something and risk a fight or confrontation. I think it's really telling that when she DOES get especially close to kris in the weird route, it's with the caveat that she is deliberately blocking out the more concerning actions that they're taking together. She is willing to ignore SO MUCH if it means that she'll get her "normal" back. it's actually even possible to abort the weird route after literally REPEATING HER INTERNAL THOUGHTS BACK TO HER. she would rather believe that kris, somehow, as a prank, managed to hear and repeat her THOUGHTS, IN HER BRAIN, than admit that something is wrong. This poor girl is a "freeze" trauma response personified. noelle baby i love you so much i promise i didnt mean it when i did the weird route. berdly will be fine

[ellieslovr]

Isn’t It Messed Up? (How I’m Just Dying To Be Him)

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆ ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡Pairing: Ellie Williams x Abby Anderson x F!Reader

Summary: Listen to Sugar We’re Goin’ Down while reading this pls :D (aka im 2 lazy to summarize)

wc:4,002

warnings: cw: strap on sex, spit roasting, spit kink, size kink, possessive behavior, dumbification, voyeurism, masturbation, knife play, use of pet names,degradation kink, praise kink, overstimulation, face fucking.

a/n:IT’S FINALLY DONE AFTER LIKE TWO MONTHS HOLY FUCK.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆ ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆ ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆ ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡

Ellie could have any girl she wanted. She knew that. So why did she want the one most inaccessible to her? That being, her best friend’s girlfriend.

Sure, her and Abby had messed around before, but that all stopped a while before she got a girlfriend. This wasn’t Ellie’s only problem though. She liked Abby, but she also liked you too. The two of them were roommates, and they usually respected each other’s privacy.

That is, until now.

Abby had “forgotten” to inform Ellie that she’d need the room to herself for a bit, which led to Ellie splayed out across her bed, with one of the shirts you’d left drenched in your perfume. Having your scent filling her lungs made her feel dizzy, and she hurriedly shoved her hand down her pants.

She pulled up a link to some shitty porn video on her phone, but it was enough to do the trick. She was damn near dripping onto her bed sheets as she inserted two fingers inside herself. She was so close, and that’s when she heard the lock turn.

She quickly dressed and jumped up off the bed, and hid in the closet without thinking. Seconds later, you and Abby walked in. The taller girl was hurriedly kissing down your neck, urging you to shut the door. You did so, smiling as you turned around to face her.

“Babe, slow down. You’re gonna get whiplash.” She laughed, leaning down to pull your shirt off. “Shut up, you know I always get riled up when you wear that fucking skirt.” You rolled your eyes, but allowed her to take your shirt off anyways. Ellie couldn’t believe her eyes. Was this really happening?

She could barely see the two of you through the little slits in the closet door, but it provided her with enough to know what was going on. Abby tackled you to the bed, her lips pressed against yours. You pulled her closer, hands tugging at her hair.

She groaned into your mouth and slid her knee between your legs, urging you to grind against it. Ellie tried to resist the urge, she really did. But when you moaned, she slipped a hand beneath the band of her boxers. This was risky, she knew that. “Yeah, but it’s also hot.” The other side of her brain told her. She was more inclined to agree with that.

Her brain was too foggy to think about the potential consequences of her actions, your moans mixed with Abby’s were all she could focus on.

You let out a soft sigh as Abby kissed down your neck. “Alright, I’m losing my patience. Skirt and panties off.” She told you. Ellie held her breath as you pulled your skirt and panties down.

Abby licked her lips. “God, you’re so fucking wet.” She slowly ran two fingers through your folds, marveling at the way your slick dribbled down them.

She brought those same fingers up to her lips, and wrapped her tongue around them. “You taste so sweet.” She practically moaned, leaning down to kiss you.

While you were distracted, she slowly pushed her fingers inside of you, making you whine. “Shh, just gotta get you ready for my cock baby.” Abby cooed, pumping her fingers in and out.

Meanwhile, Ellie had one hand down her pants, and the other muffling her moans. She still couldn’t believe this was happening, it was like one of her wet dreams came true.

She had lost count of how many times Abby would complain to her about one of her shirts missing, only for Ellie to have that same shirt shoved in her face while she was on her bed, knuckle deep inside her wet cunt. She just couldn’t help herself, you and Abby plagued her mind in the best way.

Despite her feelings for both of you, she was happy when you two got into a relationship. The three of you spent a lot of time hanging out, usually smoking weed or watching movies. Ellie was certain there was no coming back from this though. She was positively fucked.

She snapped back to attention when she heard you whine Abby’s name, a desperate plea for her to fuck you. Abby had placed the strap around her hips, and was situated between your legs. “You need me to fuck you?” She asked, gripping your chin with one hand. You nod.

“Please Abby, need your cock. Need you to fuck me, please.” Your cries paused momentarily as Abby pushed into you. “Shit, you’re tight babe.” She grunted as she thrusted into you, sweat dripping down her forehead.

You moan as she speeds up her movements, the sound of her fucking your wet cunt echoing through the room. Ellie fucks herself faster, soft little whimpers escaping her mouth. Abby looked down at you, savoring the way your mouth formed an o with each movement she made.

She cupped the side of your face, and you leaned into her touch. “Bet you wish Ellie was here, huh? You want her to see how much of a whore you are?” She asked with a smirk on her face.

Ellie was floored. You both liked her back? Her brain was too clouded with lust to think about anything that wasn’t sex, so she continued to fuck herself.

“Mhm, want both of you to fuck me. Wanna be your pretty little toy.” Abby groaned. “Fuck you’re such a whore, wanting me and my best friend to slut you out.”

You cried out, clamping down around her strap. “Come on baby, fucking give it to me. Cum for me.” You do just that, back bowing as she continues her assault on you.

Ellie follows soon after, so lost in the throes of pleasure that she forgot to cover her mouth. The sound of someone else’s voice catches both you and Abby off guard, and she leaps up from the bed.

“Did you hear that?” She asked. You nodded. “Sounded like it was nearby.” Abby reached for her pants that had been previously discarded, and pulled out a pocket knife.

“Check the closet.” You tell her. She nods, readying the knife. You sat with bated breath, sheets barely covering your naked body.

She swings the closet door open, and you hear a familiar scream. “Ellie?!” Abby exclaimed, lowering the knife. The other girl had little time to cover herself up, so her pants were bunched down to her ankles, and her boxers were halfway down her thighs.

Abby subconsciously licked her lips, giving her a quick up and down glance. “Abby, I’m so-“ Abby glared at her, and she shut up.

“Didn’t realize you liked my girl that much.” She mused. Ellie shook her head. “I-It’s not like that, I swear.” Abby zeroed in on her, stepping towards her.

Ellie was trapped between the wall of the closet, and Abby’s body. “I think it is like that.” She replied, hot breath wafting across Ellie’s face. The shorter girl shivered. “I didn’t mean to spy on you guys, I swear.” She said.

Abby shot a glance at you, but your eyes were fixed on Ellie. She was a little less muscular than Abby, but still incredibly toned. Freckles trailed all down her body, and you could spot her happy trail peeking out from her haphazardly pulled up boxer shorts.

“It’s fine, Ellie. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say she liked it.” Abby told her. You blush as Ellie flicks her eyes over to you, and nod your head. “I did. I like you a lot, Ellie.” You confess.

Ellie’s cheeks flush. “Really?” You nod. “I feel the same way.” Abby told her. Ellie could’ve sworn she died and went to heaven. Both of her crushes actually liked her back? “What about you?” You ask her, sitting up.

The sheet slid down your body, giving Ellie a full view of your chest. She nodded dumbly, before realizing you were waiting on a response.

“I like you guys too. A lot.” She replied. You breathed a sigh of relief, as did Abby. “I’m glad we got that sorted out. We can talk more about it after.” She told Ellie. The other girl’s eyes wandered over to you, looking you up and down.

“So, what do you wanna do in the meantime?” She asked Abby, eyes still locked on you. Abby chuckled and circled the bed, gesturing for Ellie to follow. “I think you know.”

Abby looped her arms around your waist, moving one hand up to pinch your nipple. You jolted, a gush of wetness following her actions. “You wanna join us?” Abby asked, absentmindedly toying with your nipple, rolling it between her fingers.

Ellie quickly nodded, and Abby raised an eyebrow. “Words.” She said, causing Ellie to blush. “Yes. I want to.” Abby grinned. “Atta girl. Clothes off.” Ellie slipped out of her boxers and shirt, adding them to the pile of clothes on the floor.

You let the sheet drop the rest of the way, and Ellie’s eyes widened. “Jesus.” She breathed. Abby laughed.

“She’s real pretty, isn’t she?” Ellie was nearly drooling at the sight of your soft skin. “Yeah,she is.” She replied. “You wanna touch her?” Abby asked. “Can I?” Ellie replied, addressing both of you.

Instead of answering her, you took her hand and guided it to the valley of your breasts. “Fuck.” Ellie muttered, gliding her hand up and down your chest.

You leaned into her touch, back arching slightly. Her hands were rough with callouses, which made you shiver when she brushed her thumb against your nipple. “You’re so pretty like this.” Ellie murmured.

“Ellie, please.” You cried as her hand slid further down your body. “Tell me what you need, baby.” Ellie replied. You hesitated for a moment, and Abby kissed the top of your head. “Don’t be shy babe, it’s Ellie. You can tell her.”

You gathered up your courage, and decided to just blurt out what was on your mind. “I want both of you to fuck me.” They seemed surprised by this answer. “Are you sure, doll? I don’t wanna overwhelm you.” Ellie replied.

Abby chuckled. “Trust me, you won’t. She’s got stamina.” Ellie nodded. “Alright then, how do you want us?” All of a sudden, Abby shot up off the bed. The two of you watched her as she opened the closet door, and pulled out a black bag. “I have an idea.” She told you two as she sat back down.

She opened the bag, and inside sat a brand new strap on. “I originally bought this for us.” She said, motioning between you and her. “I have a better way to use it though.”

Ellie looked at her quizzically. “How?” Abby opened up the packaging, handing it and a harness to Ellie.

“She said she wants both of us. You fuck her face, I’ll fuck her pussy.” Abby said bluntly. Ellie blushed at her forwardness.

“Are you sure about this baby?” She asked, glancing over at you. You nod your head. “I actually kind of like the overstimulation.” You admit, cheeks flushed.

Ellie smirked at this. “Yeah? Good to know.” You laughed, and she cupped your face in her hands. “Can I kiss you?” You nodded. She leaned in, and her lips brushed against yours.

You shivered and pulled her closer by her shirt, causing her to moan. Before she completely lost control, she pulled away. “You’re a good kisser.” She breathed, forehead leaning against yours.

You laughed. “You’re not so bad yourself.” “I’m gonna try something.” She told you. You watched, curious as to what she would do. She leaned down and pulled your nipple into her mouth, causing you to gasp.

She gently grazed her teeth across it, tongue poking out to lick at the bud. “Oh fuck.” Your voice quivered as you tugged at her hair, urging her to keep going.

Ellie slid one hand down to your stomach, dangerously close to your cunt. “You want her fingers, baby?” Abby asked. You moaned in response, and they took that as a yes. Ellie’s hand traveled down further, brushing lightly against your clit.

It was enough to make you jerk forward, with Abby having to hold you up for support. Ellie slowly pushed two fingers inside of you, reveling in the way your walls clenched around her.

“Shit, you’re so wet.” She grunted, her own slick dripping down her thighs. “Jesus Els, you’re soaked.” Abby teased, leaning over to press a kiss to her neck. She shivered. “Hey! D-Don’t distract me.” Abby grinned.

“Sorry. Continue.” You would’ve giggled at their banter if it weren’t for the way Ellie’s fingers were moving inside you. They were lithe and long, similar to Abby’s, but a bit smaller.

The callouses created a constant friction, one that made you squeeze your legs around her arm.

Yeah, you like that? Feels good?” Ellie asked. She was easily falling into her role, despite not being too experienced.

Ellie brushed her thumb against your clit, causing you to cry out. Without warning, she pulled her fingers out, and you whined in protest.

“Shh, I’m just impatient. Wanna fuck your throat.” She told you, brushing a stray piece of hair out of your face.

Your cunt throbs at the thought of having both of them at the same time, a fantasy you had relayed more than once to Abby as she made you cum numerous times.

“Greedy fucking slut, wanting to take two cocks at once.” She’d grunt, thrusting into you with her hand wrapped around your throat. You were shaken from your thoughts as Ellie attached the harness to herself. Abby did the same, and the two got into position.

“You ready?” Ellie asked, looking down at you. You nodded. She looked so good like this, towering above you. “Alright. Tap either of our legs three times if you need to stop, or if you want air. Got it?” She asked.

“Mhm.” You replied,eager to get started. Abby grabbed a handful of your ass and leaned down, pursing her lips.

She spat directly on you, watching as the glob ran down your thighs. You were plenty wet enough already, but you’d be lying if you said Abby doing that didn’t turn you on. Still, you decided to egg her on a bit.

“Gotta make sure this pretty pussy’s wet enough to take me.” She told you, large hands trailing up and down your thighs.

You laugh, accompanied with an eye roll. “Right, as if you weren’t fucking me ten minutes ago.” Abby raises an eyebrow at your tone and suddenly yanks your head back, forcing you to make eye contact with Ellie.

“Shut her up for me, will you Ellie?” She asked. You couldn’t see her, but you could hear the smirk in her voice.

Ellie licked her lips. “You heard her, baby. Open up.” You let your jaw hang slack, staring up at her with doe eyes.

You wrap your lips around the silicone, and slowly start bobbing your head back and forth. Although Ellie couldn’t actually feel it, your movements did create a slight friction against her clit.

Abby pushed into you agonizingly slowly, marveling at the way your cunt sucked her in. The two began to move in unison, with Ellie thrusting into your mouth.

“Shit, can’t wait to feel your mouth on me. You look so pretty like this, getting your throat fucked.” You moaned around her and Abby sped up, slapping your ass.

“That’s all she’s good for.” She said, fingers reaching down to toy with your clit. “Just a set of holes for us to fuck into, nothing but a needy whore.” You moan at her words, rocking your hips back against her.

Her eyes meet Ellie’s and she launches forward, pressing their lips together.

It’s a messy make out session, one full of teeth and tongues, but it just turns you on even more. Ellie moans into Abby’s mouth, while Abby uses her free hand to push your head down further.

You’re choking at this point, the silicone cock hitting the back of your throat. When they pull away, a thin string of saliva connects them. Ellie looks at you with a grin, pupils blown.

“Making us feel so fucking good baby, you’re such a good girl,” She murmured, running her fingers through your hair.

You melt into her touch and she coos. “There’s our pretty girl. Little bit faster babe, m’ getting close.” You speed up your movements and Ellie grips the back of your head, bucking her hips into your face. She cums finally, a string of curses leaving her lips.

Abby follows soon after, whispering dirty things into your ear as she coaxes you through your own orgasm. You assume she’ll pull out but she keeps thrusting into you, reveling in the hungry look on Ellie’s face as she watches.

She could see the faint white ring of your arousal on Abby’s strap as she fucked into you. Ellie reaches down and takes off her own strap, tossing it to the side. Her wet cunt was in full view,thighs soaked with her cum.

“Can I try something baby?” She asked. You nodded as best as you could with Abby continuing her movements behind you, albeit at a slightly slower pace. Ellie reached down to the pile of clothes and picked up Abby’s pants.

The two of you watched as she pulled out her pocket knife, and your breath hitched. “You trust me?” She asked as she sat back down on the bed and spread her legs.

You nodded. Of course you did. Ellie was someone who you trusted wholeheartedly, along with Abby. You knew she would never do anything if she thought harm would come to you.

“Alright, come here.” She said, patting the space between her thighs. You obliged, making yourself comfortable.

“You’re going to eat me out while I hold this to your neck. If you stop, I’ll cut you.” You shivered at her tone, and although you knew she wouldn’t actually hurt you, the danger was still there.

You lick your lips, and lean down between her legs. She nods towards you, and you lick a gentle stripe up to her clit. Her breath hitches, and the hand that’s holding the knife falters a bit.

The cold metal is pressed right against your neck, and Abby is behind you with her hands in your hair, guiding you as she watches the way your pussy swallows her.

You pull Ellie’s swollen clit into your mouth, and she jerks her hips. “God, you look like such a- oh fuck..” Ellie trailed off as you pushed your tongue inside of her.

You couldn’t believe you hadn’t done this sooner, you could’ve sworn you were in heaven, right here between her legs. “Oh fuck right there, don’t fucking stop.” She groaned.

You moaned as both Abby and Ellie tugged at your hair, while Ellie grinded her hips into her face. Your nose was bumping against her clit, and her chest was heaving up and down.

The salty sweat rolling down her body combined with the sweet honeyed taste of her dripping cunt drove you closer to your own orgasm. You began to grind against the mattress, until Abby stopped you.

“You don’t get to cum until she does.” She told you, gesturing to Ellie. You pulled away from Ellie with a whine, opening your mouth to protest. Instead of entertaining you, Abby shoved your face back between Ellie’s legs.

“I don’t wanna fucking hear it. Get to work and maybe we’ll help you, yeah?” You moaned, sending a vibration throughout Ellie’s entire body. Abby leaned over you and trailed kisses down Ellie’s neck, before sliding her tongue into her mouth.

Ellie moaned as you both continued your assault on her and before she could warn you, she had squirted all over your face. “Fuck, good girl.”

Ellie panted as she came down from her high. She smiled lazily as she slumped down onto the bed. “You gonna leave our girl hanging, Williams?” Abby asked with a smirk.

Ellie laughed, sitting up on her elbows. “Course not. Just needed to catch my breath.” She replied with a smirk of her own.

“I would’ve thought you’d have more stamina than that.” You teased, fingers tracing her abs. “Shut up.” She replied, pulling you into a kiss.

She slowly pushed two fingers into you using her free hand, and moved them in a scissoring motion.

“Oh fuck, right there Ellie.” She laughed, a cocky grin spreading across her face. “Yeah? You still want me to shut up?” She asked.

Meanwhile, Abby pulled one of your nipples into her mouth and rolled the other between her fingers. It was all too much, but in the best way.

You came with a loud cry, listening to the downright filthy things the two were whispering to you. You didn’t even realize you had fallen asleep until you woke up in the bathtub, surrounded by warm soapy water.

“You alright baby? You fell asleep on us.” Abby told you, running her hands through your hair. “Yeah, it just takes up a lot of energy. I’m alright.” You replied, leaning into her touch.

The bathtub was large enough to feasibly fit the three of you comfortably, so you were all almost fully submerged.

Abby was washing your hair, while Ellie was washing the rest of your body. They were gently pressing kisses to your bare skin, savoring the closeness of the moment.

“That was crazy.” You murmured into Ellie’s chest while Abby washed your hair. She grinned. “In a good way or a bad way?” She asked.

Abby finished putting the conditioner in, so you lifted your head up. “A good way.” You told her.

She smiled, wiping a few soap bubbles from your cheek with her thumb. “I’m glad.” She replied.

Abby cupped the water in her hands and began to wash the conditioner out of your hair, while you mustered up the courage to ask Ellie an important question.

You knew she would say yes, but it didn’t make you any less nervous.

She noticed you were lost in thought. “Whatcha thinking about?” She inquired. You avoided her gaze, and she raised an eyebrow. You decided to just ask her.

“Does this mean you’re our girlfriend now?” Ellie’s eyes widened, a blush forming on her face. “Do you guys want me to be?” She replied.

You nodded quickly, and Ellie’s eyes shifted to Abby. “How about you?” She asked. Abby nodded her head as well. “There’s no way this is just gonna be a one off thing. You’re stuck with us now.” She teased with a grin.

Ellie laughed. “Somehow I think I’ll manage.” She replied. You leaned in and pressed a sweet kiss to her lips, catching her slightly off guard. She kissed you back, running her hands through your hair.

You shifted to make room for Abby, who leaned in to kiss Ellie as well. You stood up on shaky legs as the two helped you out of the bath tub and dried you off.

Abby had somehow found the time to change the sheets and blankets, and had even run them through the dryer so they’d be warm.

As you settled into the bed Ellie laid to your left, and Abby to your right. You were already sleepy enough, but the softness of the sheets and the little kisses they were giving you helped lull you further into an almost dreamlike state.

“You can fall asleep baby, we’ll be right here when you wake up.” Abby reassured you. Ellie nodded. “We’ll probably end up falling asleep soon too.” She said, cuddling further into your embrace.

The two girls had placed their hands on your waist, where they lay entwined. They both pressed a single kiss to your cheek and you slowly drifted off to sleep, surrounded by love. It was perfect.

[kuromori4]

I know this comic was very much about Marc and Nath and I very much don't want to take that away from them, but I definitely see the parallels between Rain-Piercer & Sun-heart and Ladybug & Chat Noir.

Maybe it's obvious, but I enjoy analyzing it!

Sun-Heart clearly parallels Adrien/Chat. Blonde/golden hair, the whole 'Sunshine' aspect? AdriChat's bright and sunny disposition?

Then we have Rain-Piercer. Dark hair, more concerned about the consequences of them revealing? And the reference to all of the rain symbolism between Adrienette/LadyNoir?

Lets' break it down:

So this could be taken one of 2 ways:

1) This might be referring to the final battle with Monarch. It's showing us that this could have happened between then and now, That LB and CN discussed revealing after Monarch was defeated. Though since we know they didn't reveal, I'd say it's more likely it's a potential hint to the future--

2) Lila/New Butterfly is the "Deep Darkness" (Though it could also refer to the council stuff) And this is foreshadowing what could happen once they defeat her.

Now they realize that if they reveal, they would have to give everything up. Stop being LB and CN? Maybe even never see each other again if their only connection remains their time as heroes.

Chat is ready to reveal but Ladybug warns him the consequences of revealing their identities.

If Chat Noir reveals himself to Ladybug, then he won't be allowed to be Chat Noir any more.

I'm guessing the Great-Rain is referencing the Celestial Guardian, or maybe the order of the Guardians or something. Maybe even Ladybug herself, as she's the current Guardian. Considering her parallel's name here is Rain-Piercer and the authority in this story is 'the Great Rain' it could very well be that they mean 'Ladybug' and 'Ladybug as Guardian'.

And the sacred armor is obviously the Miraculous.

But Chat is ready to reveal. He's waited so long. He wants this. Like it says, He'd rather lose his powers than his partner, who's always been by his side.

Now we have Ladybug, convinced by Chat that she wants this too. She decides to go through with it. Renounce her burden (With a passion!)

Interestingly enough, this time it says 'powers of the Great-Sun...' which... they just said it was the Great-Rain, so I'm wondering if this is a mistake, or intentional? I'd have to really listen to the french to pick out exactly what's said. Maybe 'Great-Sun' is intentional and means something. I'll come back to this if I figure it out!

And then of course, we get the happy ending and the much-awaited reveal and kiss! So Chat Noir and Ladybug reveal, and they have their beautiful moment!

But.

This is the re-written version.

In their original draft, they both gave up their powers to be together. Nathaniel thought it was unfair that they should lose everything and not have their happy ending.

This is something fans have been discussing for ages. And there's the whole possibility of Ladybug losing her memories if she renounces her Guardianship, which has also been hinted at in this season already.

So Nathaniel changed the ending to ensure they got to keep their powers and have their happy ending.

So is Nathaniel a parallel to the writers themselves? Changing the lore to ensure that Ladybug and Chat Noir can continue their journey even after an identity reveal?

So then this leaves the question of which version we're going to get by the end? Is this their way of showing us that they can continue the show for 12 seasons AND still give us the big reveal?

I mean, how do you continue a show like this for so many seasons and keep the fandom on the line for that long with no reveal? This could be their way of introducing the idea that the story CAN continue post-reveal!

That's just my thoughts on the matter anyway! I hope you enjoyed my breakdown!

[hello-nichya-here]

Think I finally managed to understand why Azula not getting a redemption arc works in the show, but not in the comics (beyond the absurd ableism in the Yang stories that is).

Azula has become the classic case of a villain that keeps being brought back due to popularity despite clearly not belonging in the story anymore.

Her arc as a villain was completed in the show. She's been the backstabber, the relentless pursuer, and the cunning villain that wins through mindgames. She's been in charge, been under someone else's rule, joined forces with another villain, and had her enemies join forces against her.

She's been the villain that wins people through manipulation and/or charisma, or that full on threatens them into submission. She had henchmen that she used and threw away, and henchmen she cared about and was abandoned by. She was arrogant and power hungry, but also desperate for validation. She was the main villain's adored, loyal pet that was eventually kicked aside in the end.

She's been the lesser of two evils when compared to Ozai, and the worse of multiple evils when compared to Zuko, Mai and Ty Lee. She's been the villain that gets back up after a defeat post The Drill, the villain that wins (by corrupting one of the potential heroes, capturing a friend of the protagonist and KILLING said protagonist) in the Ba Sing Se arc, the villain that has both a satisfying AND tragic downfall in Boiling Rock and the finale, and the villain with hints of humanity that she refuses to embrace in The Headband, The Beach and the finale.

She had conflicts with people she had zero personal history with (Aang, Long Feng) leading to both physical and mental battles, and people she had a messy history with (her friends and Zuko) leading to super emotional scenes.

And finally, she's been the cold, calculating villain AND the villain that is a complete wreck mentally/emotionally - that last one only lasting for the finale because Azula's breakdown was not the CAUSE of her evil actions, it was the consequence of it. And said consequence made her be both the villain that is defeated by the heroes and the one that causes her own downfall.

Every single fucking thing that could have been done with her as villain has been done in the show already. Even Spirit Temple, the only comic that understood her character, couldn't do much beyond just repeat stuff we're already seen.

Azula refusing to accept anything she considers weakness or imperfection? We've see that in nearly every scene she was in.

Azula leading an evil squad? Literally what she did for 90% of her screentime on the show.

Azula losing said squad and refusing to take responsibility for it? Literally the Mai and Ty Lee arc, hence the two haunting her mind in that same comic. Only this time it happened MUCH faster because Azula no longer has all the political power she once had, so there's less consequences for crossing, so she's not as threatening to ANYONE.

Azula being pathetic and making a fool out of herself? The Beach exists.

Azula being obsessive to the point that it's almost laughable? Again, 90% of her screentime.

Azula having issues with her mom, desperately wanting love from her family, friends and a potential boyfriend? Again, The Beach exists and so does the finale.

The scene of her being confronted with a hallucination of an angry Zuko and shooting lightning at him? Literally a direct reference to the Last Agni Kai, which was the culmination of both of their arcs.

The ONLY thing that was new in that comic was the short moment in which Azula shows resentment towards her father for turning her into a copy of him, and that wasn't explored further not just because it's a stand-alone comic, but also because doing so would open the can of worms that is "Wait, if she's self-aware and processing trauma, that means she could learn her lesson and change" and since the writers clearly don't wanna go there, the scene is useless.

If the writers insist on keeping Azula an active threat in the story, they're setting themselves up for failure. Either they're gonna keep repeating storylines we've already seen with far less tension and with a villain that got a severe downgrade, essentially making Azula the Tom to their Jerry, or they're gonna pull a Yang and go "Make her crazier to make her scary again!" while ignoring that her days as a villain were cut BECAUSE she went insane, and now that here vil plans make no fucking sense anymore, the heroes just look stupid for not being able to defeat her.

Azula has nothing more to give to the story in the role of a villain, so she should either only appear in flashbacks or quick mentions of "she's being cared for, but it seems it's too little too late", or she should be redeemed to get a new role in the story, with new paths to explore. She just can't keep being put into the role of active threat, when we've all seen said threat was clearly neutralized already.

It. Does. Not. Work.

[bwat5-blog]

Vi's Ending

**Spoilers for all of Arcane**

I have written about and discussed Vi in significant detail. However it was pointed out to me recently that her ending is worth its own detailed discussion and I completely agree. For those who have been sticking with me on these, you already know Vi is my favorite character. She means a lot to me, as she does to many of you for various reasons. So before we dive in let me say this:

Vi is NOT the Jinx

Vi is NOT a bad sister

Vi did NOT get Jinx killed

I have written in great detail defending and explaining each of these points, and because of that I will not detail those here. But if you are interested I'd love for you to check out my other posts and share your thoughts! Ultimately I am just another fan, and I am really enjoying celebrating the achievement in story telling this show has become, and its legendary characters.

The End:

At the end of this story, we find Violet, sitting alone, drinking, humming powder's song from the very first moments of the show. She appears deeply in thought and is curled up on herself, only opening up when her beloved Caitlyn joins her. They share a tender moment where Caitlyn asks her if she is still in this fight, to which Vi responds "I am the dirt under your nails cupcake, nothings gonna clean me out" and lays her head on Caitlyn's shoulder allowing herself to relax as Caitlyn smiles softly looking into the fire. This seems to be our last look at the couple outside of the game if Riot is to be believed (money talks people, keep these characters popular and they may listen!), and it has understandably sparked reactions across the board. For myself, I found it bittersweet. Beautiful and hopeful in many ways, but recognizing the weight of what they have survived, and validating the healing they still need. I view it as Vi finally being on the road to peace, just not quite there yet.

The Heart of Zaun:

I have extensively detailed who Vi is in other posts and therefore will spare you the diatribe here. But to properly appreciate and understand why her ending was so meaningful we do have to understand who she is.

"You've got a good heart. Don't ever lose it, no matter how the world tries to break you"- Vander

Vi is not perfect. She impatient, quick to anger, stubborn beyond belief and impulsive. But these are things born of the dark and angry world she has been forced to survive in all her life. At her core, who is she really?

A Daughter

A Sister

A Warrior

A Guardian

What Vi proves time and time again throughout this story is that she is fiercely loyal, loving, and true. She is tough as nails and brave sure. But we also get these beautiful moments of fragility. Moments where her love, her fear and her hope bleed through the mask she keeps up showing us who she is beneath. Other lessons from Vander plays a major role in who she becomes as well:

"When people look up to you, you don't get to be selfish"

"Who are you willing to lose?"

-- Vander

Vi was already trying to care for the kids around her, and had at a young age been through so much trauma and loss. But as any teenager would, she still displayed a lack of understanding about the potential broader consequences of their actions. After her talks with Vander, almost every decision she makes she is trying to protect those she loves, or trying to atone when she feels she has fallen short. Her own happiness becomes her last priority in almost every situation. And her journey to overcome this, to learn that its okay for her to know tenderness, and peace, and love and that those things don't make her unworthy. This is Vi's inner journey.

She deserves the things she fights so hard to give the people she loves. I meant to re-blog it and hope I did, but another user pointed out something I have never considered. When she and Vander are talking on the bridge, and he gives here these lessons, what does she say is the reason she wants to fight? - that she grew up knowing she was less than, but she wants more for her little sister and will bleed to do it. Even at that young age, before experiencing so much of the pain she goes through, she doesn't see herself as deserving of that same defense as everyone else in her life... She believes is meant to be the shield, and never the shielded.. An inspiring and heroic notion on paper, heartbreaking to recognize in a teenage girl who is only just beginning in life.

Back To The End:

Okay, with that refresher lets return to Vi's ending. We see this beautiful, tender moment between Vi and the woman she loves. And sure, on the surface of the moment alone it appears your standard happy ending. Safe, warm, and in the company of the woman she loves. These are all undoubtedly good things. But context matters. No decision in this show, no plot point, no animation, no detail is accidental. So we need to account for the following factors:

They have just survived a truly terrifying battle which no matter the result in terms of life and death ,would be deeply traumatizing

She and the woman she loves have made it through together its true (thank god). On a purely physical level, Caitlyn's heroic willingness to sacrifice a part of her own body to achieve victory has left her forever changed. And Vi's body has become a tapestry of scars from a life time of sacrifice and struggle

Caitlyn and Vi's reconciliation is a controversial topic in the fandom. I feel that it was justified in terms of us being given the necessary pieces to believe it, but rushed (the whole season was). Like if I asked a student to show me his work on a math equation, he got the correct answer, but he could only show me the beginning of each step he took to solve it. Correct, but incomplete. All of that to say this, their scene in the jail cell was beautiful, and it was full of meaning far more than the spicy quality (although god damn who are we kidding), but we are talking about months of time apart, with both of them living through an extremely dark period, all precipitated by an extremely traumatic "breakup". I don't think it's unreasonable to assume they have more to work through and heal from regarding this issue, although thankfully their love for each other remains strong.

The death toll of this battle is seemingly enormous although we are not given an exact number. The impact of this is obvious. And although I agree his character was not perfectly utilized, I saw Loris as the face of the countless faceless citizens of Piltover and Zaun who died in this conflict. His death right in front of Vi happening so quickly, and brutally.

Vander.. Vi had to watch her adopted father die not once, not twice, but three times. The first time after saving her life, the second time after they seemed so close to saving his, and the third time with him very nearly killing her. I'm not a mental health professional but I don't think I need to be in order to suggest this may leave lasting emotional and mental scars on her

Jinx. Vi's crusade for her sister's soul begins the moment she steps out of Stillwater with Caitlyn. The relationship between Vi and Jinx is far too complex and detailed to cover in a bullet point like this, and is one of the pillars upon which this show came to be. I'm not getting into fault or blame or any of that right now, because what it comes down to is this. Vi loves Jinx and fought so.. so hard to BE her sister again. And finally, right at the end when it seems like they are finally going to be okay, she loses Jinx. again (not dead but Vi doesn't know that). And why? because Vi breaks at the sight at the sight of Vander's body and Jinx sacrifices herself to save her. Vi's breakdown is heartbreaking. It its understandable, its realistic, its painful and its human.. But after a life time punishing herself for how she feels she failed her sister.. it hurts to admit the truth that as things stand now, Vi will probably carry the guilt of Jinx's death for the rest of her life.

I know that is all so bleak, and so heavy. And it hurts because you want to see Vi happy. We want to see her and Jinx living as sisters catching up on the time that was stolen from them. We want to see a world where she and Caitlyn are energetic and happy and healed. We want to see Vi in some way acknowledge that in the end, Jinx's sacrifice was not because Vi failed her. It was because Jinx saw that her sister who had always loved and believed in her, needed her this time. That the woman who had always stood for those she loved needed someone to stand for her. So Jinx became the shield Vi never believed she deserved.

That Vi is a bad-ass is never in dispute. We see her fight countless times in defense of those she loves, and do so quite well. Her journey is not to find her strength. It is to recognize that she is worth more than that. She deserves more. And our hope for her is born of the changes we see. As her relationship with Caitlyn evolves, and she sees her belief in her sister finally validated, She comes to understand she has more to offer than the strength of her arms.

Her relationship with Caitlyn: Their love story is so amazing, and complex, and layered. It is far too much to cover as a bullet point in another post like this and I do intend to deep-dive it soon. But in terms of this discussion, I want to stay this. That Vi and Caitlyn have their ups and downs is obvious. Its not that every moment of their time together is an unending parade of joy and romance, that would be not only bad story telling but not realistic. But the best romantic partners are those people who can fall into the flames together and walk out not untouched, but re-forged into something stronger. These two women are a great example of this. There are many important moments in their relationship that greatly effect Vi, but I am going to focus on just one:

Caitlyn Finds Vi in Jinx's Cell:

As I mentioned previously, this scene is so important for so many reasons. For our purposes, we need to remember what leads up to it. Vi immediately goes to rescue Jinx after confronting Caitlyn over her imprisonment, only for Jinx to stun her and leave her in the cell herself (there is so much context and meaning here in terms of Jinx and Vi/Jinx but we are focusing on Caitlyn right now). Then Caitlyn finds her. Alone. In the cell of the woman who killed her mother. Now there are a lot of ways this could go and Vi is clearly expecting the worst. She laments that she always chooses wrong trusting and believing in Jinx, and that this time its cost her everything. Her sister is gone. She assumes Caitlyn will be enraged, and not to mention she is in this incredibly vulnerable state, in a jail cell, after surviving seven years of false imprisonment that started when she was still in her teens. But it doesn't go how she expects.

"Sorry to say, you've grown a bit predictable"

Vi believes that this part of her, this emotional, trusting, vulnerable part of her is always wrong. But Caitlyn reveals just how much she knows that part of Vi. And not only knows, but accepts it, predicted it, and even stepped in to help the woman she loves, putting aside her own hate and bitterness. Its a powerful moment. It shows Vi just how much she is worth to Caitlyn, and it has nothing to do with her fists. Just her heart. And Vi's response to this revelation shows us maybe the first time in the entire story, where given this tiny seed of evidence that she may deserve to be happy, she chooses to let herself be. Right there in that cell with Caitlyn.

Her Relationship With Jinx:

Like Caitlyn, this relationship could only be explored properly through it's own deep dive. So again, I am going to focus on a single moment between these two as evidence of Vi hard earned affirmation of her refusal to quit on those she loves. When Vi goes to break Jinx out of jail, Jinx stuns her and escapes instead, leaving her locked inside. As Vi panics for her sister, Jinx walks away, pleading with Vi to let herself be happy, and to stop looking for her. This of course leads to the incident we just mentioned in which Vi claims she always chooses wrong in trusting her sister. "I really thought she'd help" Vi says to Caitlyn about her sister when Cait arrives. And how does her belief in her sister shake out? Jinx rides in on a war balloon at the head of an under city army, and saves the day... and then later on, saves Vi's very life at what seems to be (We know better) the expense of her own. Vi was right about her sister all along.. its just that some lessons are hard won indeed..

Conclusion:

Vi is an amazing character who has quite frankly, earned her rest. And that's what the end of the show is sharing with us. Vi is warrior. She has fought, and bled, and lost so much, but she has endured. Through her two most important relationships in her life she has found the road to the recovery from the many, many wounds her existence has left on her, and they are still wounds that need healing. There is grief, and pain, and guilt still dwelling in her. But we have seen the seeds of her self-worth beginning to bloom and it is in them that we place our hope for Vi. Because she has an inkling that what Vander told her, the same thing the woman she loves noticed within hours of of meeting her, and the same reason Jinx knew Vi would never give up on her, has always been a far greater power than her ability to do violence.

[j-sunct]

lose my breath @ HYUNJIN & CHAN

𓂃 if hyunjin hadn't chosen such a boring movie, y/n wouldn't have fingers in her pussy, much less bangchan's dick in her mouth.

❀ chanjinㅤㅤㅤ���' ㅤㅤㅤfem!reader

smutㅤ  ㅤ╱ㅤ    👤ㅤ   minors do not interact

⋆ war'ningsㅤㅤ───ㅤㅤthreesome, chan and hyunjin have a stable relationship with reader, fingering, blowjob, dirty talk, teasing, exhibitionism.

s/n, bangchan and hyunjin had a kind of itinerary for saturdays. they would ALWAYS go see movies together, both to strengthen their relationship since, with the hustle and bustle of the weekdays, they actually ended up forgetting about each other.

today was another one of those movie sessions; popcorn made, and hyunjin was choosing the movie, since this week was his turn.

“i think i found it!" hyun shouted from the living room, ready to press play. s/n returned to the kitchen with a bucket of popcorn, while chan tried to balance three glasses of soda

“wich movie is that?" s/n asked as she sat in the middle of the couch, with the popcorn bowl between her legs.

“honestly, i don't know. i just saw the cover and found it a little interesting.” hwang confessed, leaning over to grab a portion of the popcorn.

meanwhile, bangchan seemed very focused on the movie, "i really hope this movie is good, hyunjin. don't waste our precious time.” he stated, chuckling lightly. not that the movie being bad was a problem, they had the whole weekend to enjoy it.

jinnie joined in the laughter, as well as y/n. “i promise, hyung, that i won't waste our saturday. this movie has potential, trust me." he gave a thumbs up, an attempt to sound confident.

“so, let's get started!” s/n said and finally, played the movie.

—

unfortunately, bangchan was right about his opinion of the movie — that's what hyunjin thought, sighing lightly. he didn't want to show that he was completely bored with it.

the romance was poorly developed, scenes so cliché that they made him roll his eyes. at first, he didn't imagine it was a romance film, but it was. this is like a moral lesson "kids, always read the synopsis before choosing something!”

it really did seem boring until hyunjin noticed how the popcorn bucket was positioned on y/n’s legs. it was like a light bulb went off over his head. why not a fuck?

first of all, he checked her and bangchan's attention... both completely focused on the movie. perfect.

playing innocent, he reached out to "grab some popcorn from the bowl", but no. his hand rested under y/n's crotch, without even any provocation or anything like that.

her eyes widened before slowly drifting towards where hyun's hand was positioned. shit. could he be a little less of a pervert? even over her shorts, his fingertips caused a slight friction that made her sigh. the need to get wet was tempting.

hyunjin's thin fingers wandered over y/n's clothes, now definitely applying a little pressure. it was inevitable for her not to feel her pussy contract a little and the liquid flow out consequently.

bangchan was right there, he could see her at any moment, calling her a "whore" for letting herself be touched so easily... but what could she do? she really wanted to be hyunjin's whore, let him use her for free, wherever he wanted, whenever he wanted.

it was so good, the feeling of the juices starting to run from y/n's little hole, hyunjin's fingers stimulating her clitoris that, even over so many layers of clothing, was capable of making her lose focus of the film.

little by little, hyunjin brought his mouth closer to y/n's ear, just to whisper. “it's good, isn't it? the feeling of knowing you could get caught at any moment.” he laughed, softly. without drawing bangchan's attention. “like, chan can look over at any moment, see you practically begging for dick and just, fuck you. use you.” he continued laughing until he stopped moving his hand and walked away completely.

y/n mumbled in denial, the feeling was too good to be abandoned. why did hyunjin stop?

“chris, i think it's time to get this perversion out of our girl.”

bangchan turned around, a smile already plastered on his face. "from the moment she accepted your touches, hyun.”

y/n was in complete shock, maybe even feeling vulnerable, but still completely wet to receive chan and jinnie. “she doesn't even deny it, does you, love?" the older man placed his hand on her chin, forcing her to look at him.

hyunjin approached from behind, placing his hands on her hips. he saw y/n shake her head. so defenseless. taking advantage of the fact that all her attention was on bangchan now, he approached the waistband of her shorts, slowly lowering them. then he removed her panties, which for a moment remained stuck to the cavity, due to her juices. “naughty girl..." he laughed, almost mockingly.

y/n at the same time that she felt exposed, she felt completely excited, wanting to be touched. she grabbed bangchan's shoulders, when she finally felt hyunjin enter two fingers inside.

“ngl... wait…” y/n muttered, digging her nails into chris' shoulder. “i'm tight…” she whispered, more like a moan, as her pussy sent vibrations into hyunjin's hand.

bangchan took advantage of the moment to unbutton his pants, caressing his own volume over his white underwear. some whispers came out of chris' mouth, his dick looked so big. he was excited, it was a fact. a pool of pre-cum covered his underwear, right at the mark of the head of his cock.

y/n can't help but bite her lips, bangchan practically jerking off right in front of her, while hyunjin fingers her. she finally took action, pulling down his underwear until chan's private parts were visible.

“what a little bitch... can't wait to suck my dick, huh?” bangchan held y/n's face, pressing her cheeks into a sort of pout.

“you should know by now, chris. make her suck your fucking dick and make those ridiculous noises.” hyunjin was eagerly searching for her sweet spot, he wanted to make the girl have all the pleasure in the world and he knew that all that dirty talk only excited her even more. her pulsating hole only confirmed that, tightening more and more around the korean's fingers.

hyunjin went in circular movements, working more where y/n was excited, where she moaned and begged for more of him, until he came out with his fingers completely smeared with her juice.

hyun's fingers were coated in y/n's slick arousal as he worked her tight hole, his movements growing more urgent with each passing second. her moans grew louder, that little body trembling in need.

chan took advantage of the moment, guiding her face towards his throbbing cock. "open wide, baby," he growled, his voice thick with desire. "i'm going to feed you my dick."

y/n eagerly parted her lips, her tongue darting out to lick the tip of christopher's cock. she moaned at the taste of his pre-cum, her eyes fluttering closed in bliss.

bangchan pushed forward, sliding his cock into y/n's warm, wet mouth. she took him deep, her throat contracting around his shaft. channie groaned in pleasure, his hips rocking forward to meet her eager mouth.

hyunjin watched the scene unfold, his own cock throbbing with need. he added a third finger to y/n's pussy, stretching her further. "damn, you're so good taking hyung's dick…" he grunted, his fingers pumping in and out of her slick heat.

her moans vibrated around bangchan's cock, sending shockwaves of pleasure through his body. he grabbed a fistful of her hair, guiding her head as he fucked her mouth. "that's it, baby. take my cock like a good little slut."

jinnie could feel y/n's walls fluttering around his fingers, a telltale sign of her impending orgasm. he rubbed her clit with his thumb, pushing her over the edge.

y/n came hard, her pussy gushing around hyunjin's fingers. she moaned around bangchan's cock, her body shaking with the force of her climax.

bangchan couldn't hold back any longer. with a grunt, he pulled out of her mouth and came, his hot seed splattering across her face and tits.

slowly, hyun removed his fingers from inside the girl, seeing all that juice and sticky cum on his hand. he felt a desire to taste her and, for sure, next time, he would suck her pussy.

“you taste very good, honey.” he stated precisely, his tongue around his long, thin fingers, cleaning them thoroughly.

[hoe4sports]

The patterns in the wallpaper

A/N: A short piece, once again based off my own experiences. You can find more stories here.

Warning: Mentions of abuse, sensitive subjects, read with caution .

If you have struggled or struggles with the same things, please know that I’m always available for a chat. I care about you.

If you find yourself in a psychological emergency; please seek medical attention.

-

As a child, you weren’t really a child. In the surge of your mother’s impulsive decisions and explosive temperament, you suffered your fair share of the consequences. The consequences was piled up in your invisible backpack glued to your shoulder, and over the years; your backpack would get heavier and heavier.

At one point, the backpack was so heavy that you couldn’t get out of bed anymore. Your backpack was above your capacity leaving your attempts at standing up looking like a baby trying to walk for the first time.

The consequences of the imaginary backpack was there when you met Alexia. You met at a coffeeshop. It was the perfect romcom meeting. Alexia ran into you, and dropped her coffee on you. You had subconsciously met a few months earlier in a group therapy session for people dealing with anxiety and depression.

5th of November

One of the assets of Alexia was her face. Her face stood out to you, she didn’t look like she belonged in the room. Sure, mental illness and unwellness dosent have a spesfic look, but if you are attentive and willing to dive; you can see it in their eyes.

The thing about eyes is that it’s the only part of your body that you cannot lie with. Your eyes are like the windows to your soul, to your headspace. When you would look across the room, you would see people’s eyes. Most had drained eyes, eyes that looked like the had seen the most unforgiving of actions.

It was not like your eyes were any different. They were the same. Dull, sad, lost. There are a million ways to describe them, but the most fitting word would be gone.

Your eyes would brighten as the therapy went on. After having a few experiences with Alexia, the light had been sparked again. Like you were finally free to breathe. But, then you got the call.

“Your mother is sick, I don’t know how longs she has left”.

The light in your eyes were simply gone. Just like your mother stole your childhood, your innocence and your magic; she stole the light in your eyes and your adulthood.

It wasn’t the grieving of potentially losing your mother that had hit you. It was the grief of the loss of hope. The hope that one day, she might realise all her wrongs and try to do them right by apologising. That day looked further away than ever. It was just the tiny girl inside of you who were holding on to the hope of an apology like a child holds onto a helium balloon.

You laid in bed, sideways, facing the wall. The wall has patterns in it, carefully chosen by you and Alexia when you built your house a few years ago prior. The wallpaper is unique, you have never seen anything like it.

Alexia didn’t know it back then, but you wanted patterns on your side of the room for a reason. If you ever would spiral down into the state of mentality you had when you met Alexia, you would have something to look at.

10th of November

When your life came crashing down, a regular November night; you stared at the pattern in the wallpaper for hours. As Alexia’s soft snores fills the room bearing evidence of her trust that you are asleep: your eyes were wander to the wallpaper. Eyes heavy with sadness; but somehow also anger.

The anger lasts. It builds up. It turmoils into something bigger. Something heavier.

Anger for how your mother chose to run away from this world instead of dealing with the consequences of robbing your life before it had even begun. Anger for how she made things easier for herself. Anger for how the hope of an apology disappeared into thin air in sync with her existence.

“When i was 7, i would write my mami notes to tell her how sorry i was and how I wouldn’t mind if she gave me away to have someone better than me.”

Alexia looked at you with sadness in her eyes before wrapping her arms around you. The pair of you laying together, close to each other in totally silence and as different. Not a bad kind of different, but a healing kind of different.

“You didn’t deserve that.” Alexia whispers into the top of your head, while your face stares into the wallpaper. “I know” you respond.

25th of November

You don’t really know how to respond, or how to talk about your childhood. Your childhood had been taken out of your backpack after going to therapy for years. The consequences of your mother had been placed into a suitcase before it was thrown up to the loft. You simply forgot about it, for years. But one morning, the suitcase was back in your room filling you with grief of the life and the potential you were supposed to have.

“When I was a kid, my mom would ask me when I would go home again.” You whisper, the memory lingering in your head for a moment before the pattern of the wallpaper takes over again. “You didn’t deserve it, amor” Alexia whispers into your hair.

Alexia never tells you, but each time you share something about your childhood; her heart breaks for the person you were supposed to be. She tends to imagine what you would be like without the struggles,without the consequences of your mother. A part of her hopes that one day, you’ll have a little girl who will grow up to be just like you; but with two loving parents and a safe home.

Christmas is closing in, but you are still staring at the wall. You follow the pattern with your eyes: that’s all you have capacity to do. You never read, watch tiktoks or use your phone. You just stare at the wall, waiting for this to pass. The only issue is that this time; it won’t just pass. You haven’t realised it yet. But Alexia has, already having a list of the best private physiatrist that money could by ready for whenever your mind can hold two thoughts at the same time.

Alexia dosent push. She never does. She’s pacient. She’s consistent. She’s the most reliable asset you have had in the entirely of your life. She waits, and waits and waits; because she knows that one day you’ll be ready to move your gaze away from the wallpaper.

1st of December

“How is it today, amor?” Alexia asks. It’s the same question everytime she gets home from training. She’s just waiting for the day when you have an answer. “I don’t know” is your response. It’s always your response. Like your brain dosent have the ability to answer anything else.

Days become weeks, weeks become a month and a month became multiple months. Months of you laying in bed, waiting for it to get better. Months of you never leaving your bed for more than 5 minutes. Months of having the living room and kitchen being used by only one person.

Alexia is functioning for you, almost on your behalf. She opens your mail, books occasional doctors appointments over the phone, she brushes your hair and she brings you water with ice and a cut up apple every single morning before she leaves for practice. She dosent push it. She just leaves it infront of you.

When she has away games, she haves Alba over. Alba stays in the guest room, and she occasionally checks in on you. Never pressuring you, never making you feel bad. She understands the situation, and she wants to support her sister.

5th of December

Closing up to Christmas, Alexia is at practice tying her cleats. Mapi sits next to her watching as person after person disappears onto the pitch. When it’s only the pair of them left, she looks at Alexia.

“How’s y/n? She hasn’t been at any games this season” she wonders, the memory of you sitting next to her during her injury fresh in her mind.

“She’s alive, that’s all that matters” Alexia responds, quietly cleaning up her spot before getting ready to warm up. She clenches her jaw, not wanting to break in-front of her teammate.

Mapi smiles sadly at her understanding the severity of the situation. Ingrid went through the same thing when her grandmother died.

“I’ll get Ingrid to call her” Mapi says, not a tone of judgement in her voice.

“Anything helps” Alexia responds knowing that you and Ingrid created a special bond when Ingrid was injured. You went home to her and Mapi’s place to take care of her while Mapi went on the US tour with barca. That’s to your nature. Always taking care of others. Always attentive to others feelings.

On the drive home later that day, she dosen’t listen to music like she normally does. It’s quiet. She’s thinking. Her head is filled with worry, hoping that you will find it within you to recover again. Not because she wants you to or because she’s sick of caring for you; but because you deserve to live a life free of worry.

When she pulls up into the driveway, she sees the curtains are pulled in-front of the windows. She does it before she leaves, wanting to shield you from any media or fans. She trusts the fans, but not with you. You are fragile. A small tap, and you’ll break.

She grabs her phone and gets out of the car, walking the few meters to the entryway before locking herself in. Dinner is on her mind, perhaps salmon with pasta? You don’t eat much, but you eat pasta. If she just makes extra pasta, then she can put some pesto on it and have you eat just the pasta.

Her thoughts are spinning trying to find ways to help you without helping you. It’s exhausting, she thinks. Not caring for you, but watching you fade away until an empty shield of what you once were.

She takes off her shoes, and greets your golden retriever. He licks her hands, and wags his tail. Always so happy to see her. Her mind dosent understand how he can be happy of small things like pebble, squirrels and birds.

But then, at the corner of her eye. She sees movement. Her mind instantly brushes it off as the cat, but her curiosity gets the best of her. She rounds the corner, and her breathing stops. She stops in her tracks. Her jaw is on the floor. Her mind is empty. She’s at a loss of words.

Why?

That’s because in the kitchen, she sees you. For the first time since mid October; you look alive again. Like the color has come back into your face. Like the spark in your eyes has returned.

Out of bed, freshly showered in her Barca joggers and a hoodie cooking.

She thinks it’s a dream.

It’s not. You smile at her before pointing to the pot in-front of you.

“I made soup" you say, stirring the caserole of sweetpotato soup.

Alexia’s face soften and her lips smiles

She dosent know what to say.

You embrace her, and look her into her eyes.

She doesn’t know why, how or when Ingrid called you. But, she knows that her patience paid off.

“I love soup” Alexia responds.

7th of December

But the thing about the wallpaper, is that it’s quite the trickster. One day out of bed costs a lot more than the stamina you’ve had since getting familiar with the wallpaper a few months ago.

The wallpaper draws you in again, and for the next few weeks you lay in bed facing the wallpaper. There isn’t a singular emotion in your face. Apathy.

Christmas is closing in. It has always been your favourite holiday. You didn’t love holidays as a child, fearing the consequences of having to be with your mother’s unreliable emotions for en extended period of time.

But Christmas is different. Christmas reminds you of your grandparents. It reminds you of coming to their house, and helping your grandpa with getting the boxes of Christmas decorations from the loft.

The loft has a special smell. It’s usually not a pleasant smell, but you love the smell. It reminds you of nostalgia. It feels safe.

Nobody expects you to feel safe at your mother’s. After all, you would spent all weekends and all holidays at your grandparents. Neglected from your mother’s love and attention.

Perhaps, a part of her passing is knowing that she will never apologise. There will never come a day where she realises her mistakes, and takes responsibility for her actions. Instead, the little girl inside you has to take responsibility of her actions. It drags you down. It feels heavy.

The memory of begging your mom to change her was is still fresh in your mind. A picture of you sitting in your bedroom, tears rolling down your face while brainstorming how to get your mother to change. Maybe if you were just a little nicer? A little more helpful? A little less annoying?

“I wish I could get my mom to change her ways, maybe she would finally care about me?” you whisper out. That’s all you do these days. Whisper. Alexia holds you from behind, her arms wrapped around you like you are some fragile kitten. “The truth is that that no child can save her mother” Alexia hums, gently kissing the top of your head.

11th of December

Alexia’s patience never runs out. She waits. She happily waits for you to find your way out of the maze you have been pulled into. It’s not like you walked into the maze yourself, you were put there against your will.

It’s trial and error. Walking tirelessly to find your way out of your brain. The only thing she can do is wait. You stare at the wallpaper, and she waits. That’s how the days are going by. You stare, and stare and stare. She’s talked to her mami about it, and she supports the wait. It hurts Alexia’s mami to know that you were treated badly by your own birtggiver. She could never imagine doing something neglectful to her own children.

Alexia knows it’s not your fault, any of it really. She knows that you were supposed to be cared for. Loved. Held. But you didn’t get that. You had to figure it out yourself. It’s confusing for a little girl.

The situation confusing for everyone. Patri dosent understand why you aren’t there.

“Why isn’t your girl around anymore? Did you piss her off again?” She jokes.

“No, my wife is sick” she responds, not wanting to shine more light on your situation. She has decided that this is a private matter.

"Sick of you? or of football?" she jokes back. The room is now quiet. Awfully quiet. It’s an unwritten truth that they don’t joke about you. Mapi and Ingrid knows. Caroline and Marta too. Even Fridolina knows about your struggles.

Alexa clenches her jaw, trying her best to cool her anger. Pina tries to get Patri to cut it out, but for some reason; she dosent understand that it’s a serious matter.

“For fucks sake Patri, my wife is sick. Her mother that abused her for years had passed. She’s struggling. Can you leave me and my wife alone?” Alexia snaps, banging her cubby shut before marching out of the room.

Everyone looks at Patri. “Why did you do that?” Ingrid snaps, Patri just shrugges. “I didn’t know she was sick, I was just asking a question!”

Mapi looks at Patri.

“Read the fucking room.”

17th of December

The last game of the year, Alexia forgets her cleats. She had bought new ones after throwing away her old ones. The new ones were bright pink. Nike mad brilliance. Alexia didn’t really want bright pink, but they had the exact same colour as the top you wore on your first date, and the thought of your smile when you would see the cleats with the explanation; that convinced her.

A member of staff offers to go home for her, and get them; but she dosent want to. Even though she needs to eat with the team and do the pre game meeting. No matter how tired, she’s never willing to expose you at your most vulnerable state.

She says her goodbyes before sprinting to the car. Her luck has ran out, and there is traffic making her later than anticipated. The rain is pouring down, making cars drive slower. Her knowledge on the neighbourhoods in Barcelona are to a T after living there for many years. She makes shortcuts before finally pulling up to your street.

The houses passes by. Neighbours like the Ramirez where you would have bbqs and miss Talia where you would be invited for cookies reminds her of better days. Not just how things were a few months ago, but it reminds her of what’s to come when you find yourself back again. When you find your way out of the patterns in the wallpaper. It’s what’s ahead that’s important.

The better days.

Christmas is conveniently here. It adds to the traffic. Normally your house would be all dolled up by now, Christmas gifts and bright lights everywhere. The good old improvised wrapping station you would make taking over Alexia’s office. Normally, she would pretend to be annoyed by it. But, the truth is that she misses it. She misses walking along side you when you try to find this year’s wrapping paper theme. She always pretend to be annoyed by it, but she promises herself that next year; when you feel better, she’ll never complain.

When she pulls up to the house, it’s dark inside. It’s comforting knowing that you haven’t left the house. She knows that you wouldnt do anything dumb, but in the back of her mind the worry of how your mind taking over your rationality lingers.

With quick steps, she moves inside. Your dog greets her in the hallway, like he always does. He’s happy. His butt wiggling from side to side. She’s smiles softly spending a minute petting him, giving him kisses and belly rubs.

“Alexia? Can I come with you to the game?”

Alexia’s eyes widen. It’s like she can’t comprehend what is happening in front of her. You are standing there. Hair done, makeup on. A pair of jeans with her jersey on your upper body.

“Uh” is all she can say.

You laugh softly at her.

Your laugh. She can’t remember when she last heard you laugh before. She’s not sure what to say. If this is a surge or if you are actually feeling better. She separates her lips to speak, it words dosent come out.

You look at her.

She looks at your eyes.

Then she sees it. The sparkle is back. It’s not huge, like a few years ago, yet it’s there. A small twinkle.

“Ale, I think I’m feeling better. I’m gonna talk to the psychiatrist tomorrow”

She smiles, then she nods.

Her frame crashes into yours. Her arms wraps around you, hiding your head in her neck. She can’t remember the last time she hugged you standing up. But she’s grateful.

“My love for you is endless, princesa”

.

[msunitedstatesjames]

The A Woman's Lot DLC in Kingdom Come: Deliverance is so good guys.

First of all, it does what all good DLCs do best, by giving you more of the aspects of the game you like while giving you a unique experience you couldn't have had or that might not necessarily have made sense in the base game. By playing through the opening events of the game from Theresa's perspective, you got all of that. You got more of the middle ages sim feel from the main game, while seeing the world through a whole new perspective.

And that new perspective stood out to me immediately. In the main game Theresa doesn't seem particularly interesting, it often feels like she just exists as a potential romantic interest for Henry or as a connection to his past, but she doesn't have much of interest going on when away from him. This DLC changes that, and from the moment you start it you can feel a shift in the very atmosphere of the world. Theresa is confident in herself and her life, while Henry seems to be fumbling through his day to day, always just dodging trouble or work. Theresa enjoys her life as is, she likes getting up early and doing her chores, she likes spending time with her dog, she likes helping her friends and family even when she thinks they're being ridiculous. Henry, on the other hand, though he loves his family and friends, spends his days dreaming of leaving Skalitz and adventuring, despite the fact that he knows practically nothing of the world around him and has few real skills. Theresa is, in almost every dialogue choice, honest and down to earth, while Henry is often trying to lie his way out of trouble and escape the consequences of his own foolish and immature choices. The only real time Theresa lies is in order to attempt to protect someone else.

And honestly, Theresa's story made me more emotional than anything else up to that point in the base game. Though her circumstances are very similar to Henry in some ways, everything felt heightened through Theresa. Her content is so stressful because she has even less defenses than early game Henry. At least Henry can steal some armor and weapons, Theresa can't wear armor and lacks the strength needed for most melee weapons, forcing her to rely on her limited supply of arrows or stealth. She does have Tinker to help her, but he sometimes is as much a problem as a solution. And playing through the DLC as she slowly loses everyone is just heartbreaking. Her father's death, after her idyllic day of chores and friends is shocking enough, but then she watches her brother die, narrowly escapes an assault, and has to slink through the countryside as she watches her town and friends be ravaged by war. Her brother Samuel's death is particularly painful, as she volunteers to stay back with him, risks everything for healing supplies, sits through a stormy night with him while exposed to the elements, and then wakes to find that he passed in the night despite everything she did for him. And even after all that she chooses to return to town and search for survivors. The scene with Tinker is the one that really got me. It lacks the oppressive menace of earlier scenes, it's just one lone bandit looking to loot, and Tinker just chooses to take a disliking to him, but Theresa is totally helpless to do anything but watch as the man gets irritated and kills the last vestige of her old life. The hoplessness of her tears as her whole world burns around her is awful, and when she chooses to take one final stand to save Henry from the bandits, you somehow cheer for her, even though it's an action that would have killed her if not for happenstance.

I left this DLC loving Theresa. She's braver than almost anyone in the game, she's kind, she's moral, and she'll keep fighting until the bitter end.

[slow-reader-reads-books]

Lesbingyuan au where it’s the normal set up of post extras Bingge dimension traveling into another universe to find his own Shen Yuan. Except the world he arrives in (and is stuck in, can’t opt out of this gender journey) is a slightly genderbent one.

(hidden under a read more bc this turned basically into a wonkily grammatically tensed mini-fic)

Our darling Peerless Cucumber is a 20 something self-proclaimed straight girl with untapped soft butch potential, and is currently recovering from the harrowing trauma of the sunk cost fallacy. She’s spent a lot of time spending money on, reading, and participating in the online fandom of Proud Immortal Demon Way, and she’s currently also dealing with the fact that all her hard work in making herself heard to Great Master Airplane was seemingly for nothing. You see, Shen Yuan had the brilliant idea to create an account that appeared to be a perfectly demographically targeted straight male fan of YY novels who could critique Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky as his fellow but also his better and be listened to and receive great accolades from all frequenters of Zhongdian Literature and be validated for her hate of his writing.

“Airplane’s stupid pen name is a dick joke, I guess I gotta make mine one too… Just to, you know, seem legit and like we have common ground.”

What this charade accomplished was very little, but Peerless Cucumber did become very infamous for three things. One, his nitpicking (“It’s hardly nitpicking if it harms the integrity of the whole story1!!”). Two: his Luo Binghe fanboying (“As a protagonist he’s clearly just a cut above the rest when it comes to soul and wit, the story just rarely ever shows it off”). And three: his skipping of the steamy scenes (“I highly doubt this near identical scenario that also happened twenty chapters back but with a different wife of the week with this exact same cliffside flower giving off the same aphrodisiac mist to Bingge and new wife below will now suddenly be of any plot consequence for the next arc. It didn’t last time either, SKIP!”).

His fervent online activity garnered him the reputation of being an Airplane anti-fan, but also the assumed personality of a submissive simp who hates the easily dominated women that populate Luo Bingge’s harem. 

“lol thats why he must like mingyan so much. she never let bingge push her down. cucumber-bro must want a girlfriend who’ll chain him up and whip him! hes a pervert just like the rest of us, just a worse type kek.” 

Shen Yuan, when looking at such reply comments, gets shiver-inducing flashbacks to when her meimei left her BL comics out for everyone and the Buddha to see. She accidentally witnessed frightening scenes of thin, long-limbed men pushing each other down, tying each other to beds and cracking whips on skin until they shed blood, tears and semen, the shou begging for the gong to stop and the gong never listening. 

Shen Yuan tries to put such things out of her mind if only to preserve in amber the precious, innocent image of her meimei she knows to be true, but also secondarily to focus on the insulted male pride she’s supposed to be feeling after being accused of being a wussy submissive deviant in bed. That sort of accusation requires an in-depth 10,000 character response in order to remain in character as a straight male YY novel connoisseur.

Shen Yuan, as Peerless Cucumber but also as her true self, was undoubtedly straight. Staying in character, Peerless Cucumber made sure to extol the beauty of characters like Liu Mingyan— “She’s an intelligent and cold beauty and is written with a clear and vivid personality! A true equal for our Bingge on the battlefield and in matters of the heart!” As well as occasionally Ning Yingying— “She’s not the boring choice, you all just don’t know the special value a loyal shijie character brings, even if she does lose 99% of her personality to that one singular trait…”

But don’t get it twisted! This is a part of her performance! In real life, logged off and touching grass and breathing fresh outdoor air, she’s your run-of-the-mill average girl who is just a part of the pack. 

Her goals in life are simply not ambitious, is all. If there was a competition with ten available spots to win, she’d have no qualms placing tenth and simply feel honored to have participated. If there are ten girls and nine of them bag a good boyfriend, Shen Yuan doesn’t mind being the tenth who gets unlucky. She’s just kind to her meimeis and jiejies like that! As if she’d take that away from them! They'd probably been wanted those boyfriends for a long time! 

Shen Yuan is hardly a sore loser, and she knows the great importance of girl code and female friendship.

So, Shen Yuan being the normal average and totally straight and cisgender girl that she is decides to wallow in her Airplane-induced misery by going to a con, donning her homemade Mobei-jun cosplay. She worked hours of her life learning how to sew just for this project to the point her family thought she was finally thinking about settling down and learning wifely skills. 

Unfortunately for her ignorant family she’s actually just investing in a really elaborate excuse to cross dress. Well, it’s not really crossdressing, it’s just cosplay! Cosplay is totally different and not about taking on the gender of a character, but their larger identity! She didn’t want to explain this to them, and internally felt afraid and hesitant about it, as if they’d view her as weird for wanting to do this, so she didn’t bother to try at all.

So, Shen Yuan in her 160 centimeter/5 foot 3 inch glory decked out in dark blues and blacks, fur lining the shoulders of her outfit for style points, and wearing a long white wig styled mostly loose but with a few thin braids, chances upon a particularly striking Luo Binghe cosplayer. Not just any Luo Binghe cosplayer, but the best one! He’s tall, must be over 180cm/6 foot but also svelte and willowy in surprising ways. His hair is long and flows down his back from a ponytail ornamented at the base with a thin metal guan. Parts of his cosplay seem very benign, but others seem meticulously crafted and exquisite in quality, especially that sword at his hip! Just looking at it intimidated her, yikes! Job well done, cosplayer!

This Luo Binghe also had the most beautiful and delicately boned face she’d ever seen, eyes dark and deep and highly reflective like that of a lake on a dark and starry night. The cosplayer’s voice was also deeply melodic and enchanting.

This cosplayer… is also a woman! Shen Yuan nodded to herself internally, yes that must be it! No man looks like this in reality, this is a fellow female sufferer of Proud Immortal Demon Way impersonating a fictional man for similar psychological reasons as her. A surge of female loyalty spawns in Shen Yuan’s chest, and she doesn't even bother resisting the urge to walk over and strike up a conversation with this Luo Binghe.

She spat out her name in quick order and immediately started on the topic of female character writing in the novel. The Luo Binghe cosplayer was looking at her quietly and with a heavy amount of gravity, ink-brush eyebrows sitting elegantly low above her eyes in attentive focus. What a good listener this lady is, Shen Yuan thought. She can’t remember when someone last listened to her this closely. She hypocritically chooses to not pay attention to that train of thought any further. “In a world like Proud Immortal Demon Way,” Shen Yuan began with slight smarm, “who would choose to be a woman? I certainly wouldn’t if I wanted to see the interesting parts of the world that drew me into the story in the first place. A male protagonist can explore it freely, but the female characters are all locked away in either the marriage bedroom or the highly isolated harem palaces. Great Master Airplane clearly didn’t eat enough walnuts as a child, he must have some sort of brain deficiency when it comes to writing proper characters— ” 

The tall Luo Binghe cosplayer suddenly spoke up. “Choose?” “Hm? Yeah, I mean, in a world like that, there’s basically no choice, yeah? Gotta serve the narrative and readers and all. But the real world doesn’t have a narrative, we only have ourselves and each other to guide us. So we just do what we want, figure it out as we go. Like us two! We wanted to dress up as these male characters from this asinine story and attend this con and we figured out how to do it! We’re kindred spirits, you and I, we’re zhiyin!” “So when you leave this con, you will also choose to take this manner of dress off and wear something else?” “Obviously. Though, my go-to outfit is just a big t-shirt and sweatpants, or athletic shorts. This kind of thing is the extent of me dressing up.” Shen Yuan didn’t notice, but the Luo Binghe cosplayer’s eyes mildly glazed over in irritated confusion at the unfamiliar terms. Nor did she notice the slight expression of planning that developed in that gaze, as if they were imagining a future shopping expedition to find an outfit Shen Yuan would want to dress up in that wasn’t a facsimile of Luo Binghe’s right hand man.

“I… also want to leave this con and wear something else.” “The busyness getting to you, huh jiejie? You must have gotten here a lot earlier than I did, you poor thing. I guess this is it, it was nice talking to you—” “I don’t have any other clothes with me, and am unable to go back home. Can you help this poor one, jiejie?” “Jiejie—” Shen Yuan coughed. “Am I… wait you can’t go back home? Did your ride ditch you or something, aiyah what a scummy thing to do! I do have extra clothes on me, though I don’t think they’ll fit you. But let’s go find out. I guess if I have to take care of you like this, it does make me feel like a jiejie. Your height made me assume you were older than me, haha.”

Shen Yuan laughed, and the Luo Binghe cosplayer rapidly relaxed and took on an easy smile. “An innocent mistake. Jiejie must often be assumed to be younger than her actual age.” Shen Yuan hummed absent-mindedly. “Eh, not really. I’m only 22, and I think I look it. It’s you who looks like a jade immortal, uh, meimei.” She stuttered when she realized she hadn’t yet caught the other cosplayer’s name, and for some reason it felt weird to just call her Luo Binghe without her also LARPing along as Mobei-jun. Shen Yuan by this point had taken the tall meimei’s hand, it pale and slender much like the rest of her, and had been pulling her along towards the public bathroom to make use of her backpack’s change of clothes, walking along the wall to avoid foot traffic. However, the moment she had finished her sentence and called the other one meimei, the Luo Binghe cosplayer suddenly slammed her free hand on the wall and yanked hard on the one Shen Yuan was holding, pulling her in close to herself, caging her in from behind. Shen Yuan squeaked and found herself crowded against the wall. Her back was encased in a warm and dark heat and she could see above her that jade-white hand curled tightly in on itself, heel practically grinding against the wall. It looked like it was trembling slightly. An earth-shatteringly tight grip squeezed the fingers of her still held hand to the point of hurting slightly. Shen Yuan winced at the sensation.

Shen Yuan heard sharp, heavy breathing above her. Not knowing what to do nor quite what was going on, she squeezed back the hand that was keeping hers hostage and leaned back slightly. Comfort is what she’s doing this for, right? Feels like the reason she’s doing it. 

Shen Yuan felt the other cosplayer jolt behind her. After a tense beat, a forehead slowly dropped onto her shoulder. Shen Yuan was wearing fur along the top half of her outfit as a part of her Mobei-jun cosplay, but nonetheless she could feel the vague contour of the other’s nose through it, burrowing deeper into its warmth. Shen Yuan now felt awkward for only bothering with faux-fur for her cosplay. But with that face resting upon her shoulder and an odd sense of vulnerability wafting off of her, a sharp sense of broad awareness filled Shen Yuan's mind mysteriously. Her mind filled up with sensory information on the one behind her, naturally taking note of every detail with ease.

“Meimei…” the Luo Binghe cosplayer trailed off, muffled slightly by Shen Yuan’s cosplay, but also seemingly by her own emotions being stuck in her throat. “Can I really be jiejie’s meimei?” Shen Yuan didn’t really know what to do or how to respond, so she simply continued to lean her weight back onto the other. She then pulled on the elbow that led to the hand positioned above her until it was brought down far enough for her to grab properly. Shen Yuan took both hands in hers and placed them in front of her in a comfortable position. They were slightly cold, so she rubbed at them with her thumbs.

The Luo Binghe cosplayer picked her head up and looked down at the sight with watery eyes and a warbling lip. Both of her hands were cradled in that grip, gently held in front of the shorter’s stomach in a tender and intimate fashion. Their arms were bent parallel and their front and back slotted together in a way that, to the taller one, felt predestined.

“Can you, what kind of question is that, of course you can. But, I’d like to have your name too, if you don’t mind? Only calling you meimei sounds like I’m calling out to my real little sister.” Shen Yuan laughed and looked up over her shoulder nonchalantly. 

Somewhere in the distance, she can hear people giggling and snapping pictures of the two. She felt a twinge of embarrassment. Of course this moment looks compromising from the outside, they’re cosplaying Luo Binghe and Mobei-jun!

Shen Yuan was suddenly working very hard to maintain a cool poker face in front of her very tall and newly minted meimei.

Bringing up her real little sister and then suddenly being thrust into this type of self-aware of cringe violently and nonconsensually summoned forth invented images of a dog blooded BL scenario that wouldn’t be out of place in her real meimei’s leisure literature.

Fellow con goers, please have mercy on us two women and don't be thinking of what I'm thinking! We’re merely having a pure hearted, early friendship bonding moment! Skinship is very much common and normal between people like us, disregard the kabedon! Totally normal female friendship is blossoming here, get your homoerotic dog blood tropes out of our personal lives!

“This one is called… Qiu Bingbing.” Her voice hitched and quavered with some sort of ineffable, delicate emotion. “Bingbing, ah? Written with the same character as Binghe, meaning ice? And Qiu, is that with the character meaning the autumn season or the character meaning a grave mound?”

Qiu Bingbing hummed and nodded lethargically to the first question and spoke up for the second, hesitating slightly. “Qiu as in autumn.” “What a pretty name, “autumn ice”. You fit the bill of Luo Binghe perfectly, but with a name like that it’s nearly a pity to go by something else. You’re a miraculous find in a place like this, Bing-mei.” Shen Yuan complimented with abandon, eager to make her new friend feel good, and turned around. Still holding one hand, she impulsively took the chance Qiu Bingbing’s still bowed head offered and patted it softly.

She did that for a while, not paying attention to anything else. A euphoric smile opened on Qiu Bingbing’s lips. She was lost in the moment too. 

The rest of the world fell away. As long as Luo Binghe, no, as long as Qiu Bingbing can worm her way into every crevice of Shen Yuan, she’ll be fine. He before was always grasping at any semblance of peace and security only for it to slip through his grasp like sand, but she’s found it. She’ll nestle in and hibernate inside Shen Yuan’s veins and she’ll never let go. She will never.

“Let’s go get you those clothes. Good thing I like them oversized, they should be mildly presentable on you, even if they aren’t anything girly.”

“I can live without anything girly, anything of yours will do.”

“That’s good to hear, let’s go then.”

[margareturtle]

Yes this exactly!! I didn’t feel very compelled by Lucie and Jesse’s relationship bc of how blah it felt. Exactly like you said about each other being their only option. Not that they still couldn’t end up together, but it feels a little doomed with them being each others first and only relationship with no other options.

Whereas it would have been more compelling if instead of Matthew shifting gears as soon as Cordelia comes to town, we had continued with his crush on Lucie, and he had been an actual contender for Lucie.

Another contender could also have been Grace, which I think would have made a very interesting plot if Lucie began to have feelings for Grace as they were working together to bring Jesse back.

Not that Jesse and Lucie can’t end up together, it just would’ve felt more compelling and and real if their was more conflict/tension between them. Especially seeing them choose each other over any others (like we see with Jordelia, Thomastair, AriAnna) and not have them be so isolated for the duration of their relationship—

Which is another red flag I have, like Lucie isolating herself from her best friend, her brother, her friends, for this mysterious guy she doesn’t know very well (and ofc Jesse is a nice guy and he doesn’t make her do this) but it still injures her other strong relationships to built up this one with the first available man

Like you said it could easily make it the premise of a horror movie/abusive relationship.

Although I do like Lucie and Jesse friendship more, and I think it would’ve been sweet if Lucie had ended up with Grace or Matthew but still wanted to raise Jesse bc they had become friends and for Grace as well.

Like at the least if a few other people knew about Jesse so they’re relationship wasn’t so isolated and also if Lucie was able to entertain the idea of other suitors their relationship would’ve been more convincing.

Deciding to bring out the hot takes today

A Matthew/Lucie/Jesse love triangle would’ve been superior to the Matthew/Cordelia/James one we got

[sobaboyos]

Yall are delusional if you think Nesta is going to leave Cassian or the night court. First, they are mated. Not just mates. Mated. They accepted the bond, and SJM loves her Heas. It's a done deal. So either keep reading and deal with it or drop the series and find something you enjoy. Not to mention if they even could break the bond, how empty and broken Nesta would be for eternity. You really want that for her?

HOFAS happened three months after acosf. There's still alot of healing on Nesta’s part. Just because she saved Rhys, Feyre, and Nyx doesn't mean things are swept under the rug with them. Her and Cassian are both fiery and stubborn. They are going to have arguments. Honestly, it's perfectly normal for them to argue on occasion.

This. What Nesta did in HOFAS. Went beyond her and Cassian, beyond Rhys. This was a decision that Nesta should not have made herself. Yes I understand that she saw Bryce's desperation and understood her. She probably put herself in Bryces shoes for a moment. She took a chance. But it's a huge fucken chance because they don't know nor trust Bryce fully. And if she failed the whole of Prythian/Midgard is fucked. They have nothing to defend themselves against the weaponry Rigelus has. They will all die. Including Nesta Archeron.

Rhys had every right to scold her. And Her saying he's not her High Lord isn't accurate. She lives in his lands. Whether she wants to admit it or not. If any of the courts got wind of what was happening with Bryce or that Nesta gave this mask up to a stranger from another world do you know who would be faulted? Not Nesta. Rhys and Feyre would. They would suffer the consequences because Nesta falls under their lands. Their rule.

And now Cassian, who apparently had never defended Nesta once. Again. Nesta was In. The. Wrong. Her actions were beneficial and understandable but wrong. Cassian being upset and disappointed in her would absolutely make sense. Think of times in TOG, when Rowan wasn't happy with Aelin. He stood there silent until they were alone. That's more than likely what happened. Cassian didn't say his piece until everyone left. It's an argument between Nesta and Cassian and no one else.

That argument. The one that happened off page yet everyone wants to fucking crucify Cassian over cause you think you know what he said. When in reality you don't. Is wild. Three months ago, when she was with Emerie and Gwyn, they were taken and placed in the Blood Rite where he was helpless in going to her. He lost her briefly in the bog, watched her put her life at risk. How many times in acosf? He went a year or so watching Nesta absolutely ruin herself, had her lay over his body in front of Hybern, almost losing her, them, then too. Now, someone, a stranger and someone potentially dangerous, opened a portal in his living room where his mate was. And he wasn't there. All that trauma and ptsd he keeps on lock was blown wide open.

So now Cassian is a storm of emotions when he arrives home. Probably arrived mid argument between Nesta and Rhys, and the entire flight was given brief details of what's happening fueling his emotions. His fear, trauma, concern, disappointment, and anger. When Rhys leaves, Cassian and Nesta got into it. Sure he was pissed about the mask anyone would be. I would be. I personally think it goes on beyond that. Far beyond it. Nesta’s life, once again, was put a risk and no one knew what Bryce wanted. Cassian’s worst fear when the portal was open, was Bryce taking Nesta and never seeing her again. All that came out in their fight.

As readers, we know Bryce's intentions are good. They as characters who haven't been given the best view of Bryce dont believe it. Yes, I do think there needs to be more trust in Nesta. Especially where Rhys is considered. Cassian, as her mate, blowing things out of proportion is logical cause all mates have done it at some point. But yeah he needs to trust her a bit more too. He trusts her more than Rhys does that's for sure.

To play devil's advocate, I could be wrong on Cassian and Nesta and their fight. Absolutely. Im not Sarah. But neither are you who are wishing he dies, and Nesta leaves him over a risk that was never hers to make alone when it involves the whole world of Midgard.

If you read this entire thing and disagree. That's cool. The unfollow and block buttons are right there.

[harleyquilt]

Misreading Touka (Tokyo Ghoul Meta)

For some reason, I've been seeing more dung being thrown at Touka's characterisation in the series, and since I've been wanting to write a meta for a while now, I decided to do a short one addressing some of the criticism I've seen around. This won't go into everything, of course -- the series is far too dense with analytical potential and I am a busy bee. Just know that I do want to dive deeper into Touken/Kanetou at a later point.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Touka is not reduced to a simple, meaningless housewife, and I do not understand why this perspective is used to undermine her character so often in the fandom. For the sake of this argument, I will be mostly focusing on her characterisation in ;Re, as that is where this criticism is mostly rooted. Yes, she is less active in the first part of the second series, but between all the other characters, events, and plot points, it is bizarre to me that people see so little in Touka, despite all that she does. 

I could dive into how Touka as a whole symbolises key themes throughout both series, and how that relates to Kaneki’s development, but I think I will save that for a separate meta. For now, I just want to discuss how Touka is positioned in the second series, and how it does not weaken the characterisation Ishida set up in the first. 

Following the end of the first series, which set its tone as a tragedy, Touka opens the ;Re café to act as a refuge for ghouls, just as Yoshimura did beforehand. To clarify, Yoshimura saved Touka from her miserable life on the streets, giving her the chance to live with some semblance of normalcy following the tragic consequences of her childhood. And now, as an adult, and with Yoshimura gone, Touka strives to recreate that environment once more. There are those that think she has done this for Kaneki and Kaneki alone, but that is clearly not the case, even if she does hope for Kaneki’s return one day; she allows Nishiki to take refuge there while he tries to find Kimi, she saves Tsukiyama after the Rosewald operation, and before anyone argues that she was still not directly involved in either case, she actively takes part in Ayato’s mission to save Hinami. It is there that she then sees Kaneki and allows him a place to stay too, following his battle with Arima. She even provides Akira and Amon a place to stay, reconciling their differences in the process, (underrated chapters, I think).

Up until this point, Touka has been forced to ‘live while losing’, and whether she decides to fight or not, it is an unavoidable outcome when it comes to war. She is simply trying to do what she can without trying to kill herself in the process – a flawed sentiment she has seen in her father and Kaneki before, and even to some extent, Ayato and Hinami.

She fights when she can, runs if she has to. She is forced to make this choice again and again, especially when the underground ward is attacked, and for the sake of her unborn child and other weaker ghouls, she must retreat if she doesn’t want all of them to needlessly die. 

That said, it is not as if she leaves without trying to fight first, she just isn’t stupidly overpowered like her opponents, (and that isn’t a jab at Ishida, I’m simply clarifying that she can’t defeat these foes with just Hinami at her side). Even then, she manages to stand her ground for a long time, despite the pregnancy and her hunger. Moreover, her kagune has developed since the first series, and like Ayato, she’s able to create more advanced structures with her ukaku. You just have to read in between the lines to see that Touka has never allowed herself to grow soft in the years Kaneki was away, and that only now, during this battle, can you see more of her capabilities.

And when Kaneki is trapped within Dragon, she finally decides that she cannot lose him – she refuses to lose him, because to do so would bring on too much despair. Just as Kaneki has prioritised Touka, Touka, too, will prioritise him, and so, even with her exhaustion, she battles against Mutsuki, digs through the Dragon’s flesh until her fingers and nails break, and almost succumbs to grief at the thought that he was already lost to her. The chapter is overlooked far too often, her desperate determination conveying to the reader the importance of love as a driving force.

Again, we saw this with Kaneki, who pushed himself past his limits in hopes of reaching Touka. Whether you like it or not, love is a powerful thing, and that has been shown throughout the series with many, if not all the characters. And for Kaneki and Touka, their love is their hope, and to lose that love is to lose their hope. So they fight, again and again, for each other and the light they bring into each other’s lives. 

Now I can argue all day about how Touka is far more active in the series than people care to admit, but I do not think that is why Touka is labelled as a housewife. I’ve been in the fandom for a long time and this label has been around long before their relationship was canonised, and I think it’s to do with the fact that Touka is clearly more feminine in ;Re. 

I’ve already explained that in terms of action, Touka still has plenty of moments to speak of, and personality-wise, I really don’t think she’s as different as people claim her to be. Yes, she’s calmer, but that shouldn’t be seen as a bad development. She’s an adult now, and with adulthood comes maturity, (or it should, anyway). She doesn’t need to fight anyone and everyone to prove herself, that is simply a childish perspective to take. Besides that, she’s still curt in the way she talks, is sarcastic and blunt, though not as harsh as she was before, and she still carries herself with plenty of pride and dignity, which was what was so appealing about her in the first series. Ffs, she confronts the whole CCG and tells them to eat shit because their arguments were annoying her. It’s ridiculous to me that people think she is a shadow of her former self, when there’s plenty of great moments involving her. 

As for her more maternal depictions, that is also something that has always been present, if you take a moment to connect the two series together. She was forced to grow up quickly when she became responsible of Ayato, and she effortlessly took Hinami under her wing after the death of her parents. This is an attribute that she continues to exhibit throughout ;Re, watching over the children and trying to comfort them. It’s a touching image, one that circles back around to her pregnancy. And to deem this progression as detrimental is rather…strange to me. In a time when we see women as strong and powerful for everything we represent – our hardships, both physically and emotionally, as well as our strengths – why is it seen as weak when female characters are utilised to represent the strength of womanhood. Because she’s a woman married to a man? Don’t be so childish. If you respect her characterisation at all, you will acknowledge how she continues to exhibit her strengths as an adult, whether that be in battle or beyond it. 

After all, Ishida could have easily written it so that she is no longer involved in anything past the discovery of her pregnancy. Except he doesn't, and instead, she fights even more, even harder, in spite of her pregnancy. Because of her pregnancy. And yet, this is somehow weakens her character? She is quite literally going beyond her limits to fight for her future, I see nothing weak in that.

It might be that readers dislike how she changes aesthetically, and that’s fine, but from that comes arguments that excuse why they don’t like her character. I could argue against every little argument I’ve seen about her, but at the end of the day, I feel like most of these points are made just to excuse a personal preference. And that is not an effective use of critical reading. You can’t make the story something it isn’t, and you can’t assume Touka was going to be a character she wasn’t written to be. If you don’t like that or disagree, then maybe this series isn’t for you and it’s time to move on. For now, at least, please give her characterisation the respect she deserves. Her role is so much more than the shallow labelling this fandom tends to give her.

[jackattack20writes]

So having spent a couple days thinking about it and also before I get into it I do just wanna acknowledge how it’s entirely reasonable to take issue with how Lalah was presented in the latest episode of Gquuuuuux. But I do think that with the context of Gquuuuuux Lalah staying in the brothel is incredibly important for what Gquuuuuux is trying to say. So a common thread for all the OYW/Gundam 79 vets shown in Gquuuuuux is that they’re stuck in the war. They haven’t been able to move past it, Challia’s still searching for char, Gihren and Kycilia are both still in the wartime fear of assassination and weapons development emphasised by Xavier saying they haven’t even met since the OYW and Lalah has stuck herself in the brothel waiting for char to come save her.

And topping it off the assumedly char character seems to still be trying to kill the Zabi’s and they’ve all been searching for the rose of Sharon this entire time. But all of them have made this choice and I believe that Lalah in this episode, similarly to how Zeon and the brothel have been used, is intended to emphasise this point further.

Like Kycilia and Gihren have chosen to continue on researching new weapons of war and preparing for a civil war by choice, sure it’s the prisoner’s dilemma but it’s still their choice. Similarly Challia rather than trying to actually do something to kill the Zabi’s like he and char planned has spent the last decade and a half searching for Char. Same with Lalah, rather than escaping either with Machu or any time before that she’s waiting for Char to come save her. And this is important because so much of Nyaan, Shuji and Machu’s story has been about finding a place for themselves. And just like how Anqi and Xavier and Deux are the worst possibilities for them, Anqi a jaded woman who trusts no one and is willing to sell people out once they lose their usefulness, Xavier a soldier whose sold his ideals and personhood for alleged safety, and Deux a girl who sacrificied everything in the name of experiencing the Kira Kira, the veterans are similarly advisory tales.

Challia is the man who gives up everything he cares about in the fruitless search for someone he’s centred his whole life around, Gihren and Kycilia show the downfalls of plunging into the war machine for a purpose no matter how noble you think it is, and Lalah is similarly to Challia the consequence of tying your worth to someone else. All of which are possible ends at current for really only Nyaan and Machu but still relevant to my point. These are all people showing potential end points for the protagonists and yet also advisory stories about why they shouldn’t end up like that

Like last ep Xavier basically was just making a case to Nyaan about why she doesn’t want to stay with Zeon and would rather go back to her friends just like how in this ep Lalah while also being a big exposition dump was showing Machu that she was right in taking grasp of her destiny when she did with the Gundam. Because otherwise she’d be stuck suffering waiting for someone else to save her.

This sort of thing is also why I am extremely confident Nyaan and Machu aren’t being set up to be Charmuro 2.0, the show is putting so much effort into showing how badly these people have suffered because of their inability to find good places for themselves where they truly thrive I A. Don’t see the show saying that yes the place for NyaChu is the exact same place that two other adults that suffered greatly from the same generation inhabited 40 years ago and B. I think it’s far too bleak an answer for a show that I think is at its core one of positivity. Like firstly it’s kind of insane to make a show at least partially aimed at teens and say their place in life is to die in a toxic Yuri explosion but also I think that with the subtle parts of it’s portrayals for Nyaan and Machu the show is giving a lot of grace to the idea that teenagers are smart enough to figure it out if they’re given the space to figure it out. And so I doubt the ending at its core character-wise for Nyaan and Machu at the very least will be not much more complicated than the two of them finding the space to figure out who they are and moving beyond the failings of Zeon and the Federation.

Likely together and depending on Shuji’s state at the end with or without him, as a very direct contrast to Charmuro they’ll either move past the loss without blaming each other and just accepting that he’s gone and filling the space he’s left with each other. Or they’ll, like in ep 7, show that Shuji isn’t something that’ll come between them, their bond is ultimately stronger than both of them having feelings for the same boy (likely because they have the same feelings for each tier too.)

Although I do also have to say at the end of this that with only three episodes left it’s entirely possible that they just completely fail to actually deliver on tany of this and instead it devolves into some multiverse bullshit but I do think I’m at least accurate with my read on Lalah. Because while I’m only part way through Utena from what I’ve heard and read about it the victimising inherent to certain roles that’s discussed in that anime is very similar to what’s going on with Lalah in Gquuuuuux and that by seeing the visions of char and Amuro and the OYW she’s relegated herself to this role as someone to be saved and taken away her own agency and this is supposed to be a bad thing for her to do. Similarly to how Challia has lost himself in the search for the red comet and failed to achieve anything that he and char talked about doing.

[alicedopey]

Husband's orders

Pairing: Soft Dark! Jonathan Pine x Wife! Reader Warnings: Dubious consent, oral sex, fingering sex...sex in general. Words Count: 1572 Summary: You disobey your husband and faces the consequences of you your actions. A/N: I am blaming @darkficsyouneveraskedfor for this.

The door slammed and somehow, you knew you were in deep trouble. Your husband never slammed any door, he never raised his voice. Come to think of it, you had never seen him lose his cool during the six months the two of you had been married. 

You heard him walk up the stairs in his usual determined pace, halt in front of your bedroom door and tell your bodyguard to go downstairs in a harsh voice. You heard him walk away and the door opened, revealing your husband wearing black pants and a shirt whose top buttons were undone. You lightly frowned at his unusual disheveled appearance but quickly composed yourself when you met his stern glare. He put his hands on his hips, ready to lecture you as if you were a rebellious teenager.

You gulped in spite of yourself. Those type of looks were usually reserved to his business partners or his staff when he was unhappy. You suddenly felt guilty when you thought about what your so professional bodyguard would have to endure because of you.

“Don’t blame him.” You abruptly stood up from the bed you were sitting on and faced your husband. His eyes were burning with fury and you took a step back as he approached you. He instantly cooled down at your discomfort and let out of a sigh of frustration.

“He was supposed to keep an eye on you and he failed. He is to blame.” He replied coldly. 

His words made your insides boil. You were tired of this situation, tired of this cocoon he had built around you since you were forced to say yes at the altar by your fathers for the union of your families. Both nearing your forties, both single, both determined to stay that way and yet, you were the perfect candidates to fill in this obligation. 

You would lie if you said he had been a bad husband so far because he basically let you live your life as you wished. That is, as long as you stayed home or go out with your bodyguard flanked to your sides. You wanted to get your freedom back and it was about time Jonathan Pine found out you would get it. 

“Keep an eye on me?”. You shrieked. “What am I? A child?”

“What do you call someone who puts herself in danger to go to the nearest bookstore and buy books on a whim?” He asked sharply. Once again, you froze at his tone. He had never talked to you like this. Even if you were a scared and a bit intrigued by this new attitude of him, you had to stand your ground. 

“A whim? Jonathan, I am an author. I need to read, I need to go and take a walk by myself. It gets me inspired and helps me work.” He opened his mouth to reply but you cut him off. “You can’t just lock me up in here and think for a second that I would not try to leave again. You get to live your life as you please but I can’t and why?”

“Jeopardizing your safety to buy books is not what I call living your life, darling.” He snorted and you winced at his term of endearment. You knew he was just trying to get you to calm down, clearly not used to such an outburst coming from you. “Everything I am doing is to….”

“Protect you.” You cut him off again. “Gosh…I get why my father agreed to this crazy wedding idea now. You sound just like him. But you know what?” You got closer and pointed a finger to his chest. “I also know the only one you are doing this for is yourself. Just like my father. You want to show what a good husband you are, protecting your wife against a potential attack when you don’t actually care. I’ve seen this all my life. Drop the act.”

“Just don’t leave the grounds alone again, darling.” He smiled indulgently, looking at your pointed finger and your angry glare. 

He turned away from you and made his way to the door. You were infuriated by his behavior. He was really treating you like a child and you had enough.

“Or what?” That made him stop “What happens if I go and run some errands alone? Again.”

He slowly turned around and cocked his head on the side, silently challenging you to say more. Your insides boiled again. “What happens, then? Will I get punished? Grounded?  Will you send me to my room? Maybe spank me a little for my tantrum?”

A curious glint appeared on your husband’s face and he smiled, slowly making his way towards you. 

You were suddenly stopped by the bed and you realized that you had taken a few steps back without realizing it. You almost fell on it but Jonathan circled his arm around your waist and pulled you against his body. A surprised squeak escaped from your mouth and you put your hands against his firm chest. 

“My sweet darling wife.” Jonathan cooed, pulling you even closer. Your noses were brushing against each other’s and you could feel his hot breath on your mouth as he spoke. “If you wanted my attention, all you had to was ask. I gave you some space because you seemed so tense and cold around me but it was just a way to catch my eyes.”

“That is not….” Your words died in your throat. Your husband was rubbing his nose against your cheek, slowly descending upon your neck where he softly kissed your skin. He ran a hand along your leg and slowly lifted your skirt until you felt his fingers on your skin. You gasped, trying to push him away but his arm around your waist tightened. 

“Jonathan...”

“Shhh, darling.” He whispered in your neck before kissing you one more time. “Isn’t that what you wanted?” 

His fingers sneaked into your panties and you closed your eyes in shame. You were aroused and now you both knew it. Two of his fingers rubbed your clit and you whined. Your hands on his chest were now gripping his shirt. You head fell backwards and you let out a few pants. 

“Yes, this is what you want. Enjoy the ride, darling.” His fingers rubbed you a little faster which sent electricity through your whole body. Your whines turned needy and you felt yourself stroking his skin through his shirt, enjoying the feeling of his toned chest under your hand. Jonathan purred against your flesh and kept tantalizing your body. Your pleasure rose and you trembled against your husband when it reached its peak.

He did not stop his sweet torture though but gently pushed you so that you lay down on your bed, that bed which had only been yours for the last six months since you said I do to that man, who was now kneeling between your legs, ready to devour you. He hiked up your skirt, pulled down your panties and threw them behind him before grabbing your hips to pull you closer. You felt his hot breath on you again, then his tongue dived into you. Your lips opened on a silent scream and you arched your back from the bed. He played with you, eating you out like a starving man. Your whole body felt like it was on fire as he sucked, licked and nipped at your skin. It was not long before you came a second time, then a third, a fourth until you lost count and babbled incoherently under his attacks. You were panting like a woman possessed, frantically gripping the sheets between your fists.

“Jon…Jo…Jonathan, please.” You tried to whisper in between shallow breaths. “I can’t…not anymore. Jonathan.”

“Husband.” Jonathan ordered, kissing your thigh. “I’m your husband, darling. Call me husband when you want something.” He rubbed his nose against your oversensitive clit which was enough to send you into another whirlwind of pleasure. 

In your delirium, you felt Jonathan grabbing you again to put against the cushions. You heard him getting rid of his clothes and when you finally managed to catch your breath and open your eyes, he was lying down next to you. Your eyes met and he smiled at you, leaning over you to kiss you senseless. You got a taste of yourself on his tongue and it made your insides clench. Your body was asking for more even though you were feeling exhausted. 

“Husband, please.” You whispered against his lips.

“Yes, darling?” He kissed your nose. “You want more?”

“No, I…I can’t.” And yet, you scooted closer. 

Jonathan peppered your face with kisses. “But you wanted my attention, remember? You have it now, darling. Entirely.” He pulled you under him, hooking one of your leg against his hip. “We can’t stop now.” 

His body heat was suffocating and yet, so arousing. You wanted more. So much more. But you were so exhausted.

“Husband, I….”

He thrusted inside of you in one swift motion, groaning and you whined in response. “I know, darling. Just a little bit more. You need to be punished, remember?”

He pulled out just to push back in. You whined again, feeling a new wave of pleasure rising as his thrusts became deeper, stronger.

“Trust me when I’m done with you, my sweet darling wife, you are going to wish I would have given you a spanking session.”

Tagging: @thezombieprostitute @naaladareia