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angeart · 6 months ago

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Howwwww did you angst the world tour?? 🎀

this question made me giggle so much oh i'm glad you asked :3c there was so much yummy grian angst in the hc world tour!

it's all about grian and his penchant for destruction. he doesn't even mean to! he's not trying to be pesky; quite the opposite. he's curious but restrained, trying to be good, trying to follow instructions. he's not malicious at all! he's just there to see what people were up to, open and friendly and curious, eager to look and learn and praise. not a bad intention in sight... and yet things seem to break wherever he goes. everything he touches goes wrong.

the guilt churns, acidic and overwhelming, and grian's miserable. why is he like this? he's trying so hard, why is this the only way he can ever be? why can't it stop?

spoilers for grian's world tour video below <3

plantie pointed out to me how, during the tour of scar's train, when grian got rid of scar's arrows—the glitched ones that doc put there—he was so desperate to point it out after scar just glossed over it. as if he wanted to show that he can do something good. he can be helpful, he can fix things instead of just breaking everything.

but then we have all the other things, right? grian can't escape it.

when he was with etho and the mushroom farm exploded, he sums it up in a wretched if confused apology: "i'm so sorry. the two times i tried to use it, i broke it :( and created a water source floating— which i don't know how it happened— and flung the TNT, which i really don't understand—"

they move on, but it's so clear it lingers.

etho isn't blaming him. he's amused and brushes it off and moves along, unbothered, but grian himself can't wrap his head around it. about that propensity to breaking things, even unintentionally. the way nothing is safe around him.

he tells etho: "i can't stop thinking about your mushroom farm. why does everything i touch break, in new and unexpected ways?"

(not to mention when etho's showing him frogger and grian plays, almost instantly etho goes: "uh-oh, the game's broken", with a little huff of laugh. it wasn't exactly tied to anything grian did, but still something i wanted to point out, since grian was there for it <3)

and then grian goes to zedaph, right?

the very first game zedaph shows him. the very first. grian plays the way he was told to, the way he was meant to, and— he breaks it.

zedaph just laughs and moves them on.

(just sprinkling in a side note that zedaph's furnace minigame also didn't seem to work the way it should've—)

by the time grian gets to pearl's, it's starting to be a pattern that's so clearly eating away at him, making him anxious. he doesn't want it to happen again!

and yet.

pearl invites him to play her wordle game, and grian mindlessly goes and pushes the wrong button trying to start it... instantly stepping away with a quiet groan of a dread-filled "...oh-" followed by: "i just— ruined it already."

there's something about the mood switch. the way he seems more restrained and tame, silently upset with himself, trying so hard not to mess things up further. questioning why this is happening again. why he can't stop making it happen.

he walks over to the reset game button and asks, carefully: "can i press reset? is it gonna hurt? 🥺👉👈"

pearl reassures him he can, with a sigh noting that it'll just take a while.

there's an almost hysteric laugh from grian, followed by an exasperated, upset scream. "everything i touch breaks! when i went to e— i broke etho's thing when i went to— not frogger, his— his mushroom farm i— it blew up."

"you blew up his mushroom farm?? how? what did you do?!"

"yeah, i— i broke zed's game, instantly, pretty much, it's—"

"oh my gosh :("

"sorry 🥺"

pearl is quick to reassure him, though. "well, luckily for you, this is— you doing that (pushing the wrong button) does not break the game. it's just, you now have to wait for it to reset."

she makes sure grian knows that he didn't mess up anything terribly here. he didn't break pearl's game. it's okay! it's fine!

and then grian right clicks to open the book, and instead makes bonemeal pop out of a composter.

i think at this point pearl is a little bit taken aback by how wrong everything really seems to be going around grian. she makes sure to say, "it's fine," again, just so grian won't start worrying about it all again. "you're clicking on everything that people do not usually click on today. but it's okay. it's still not broken! it's not broken, it's alright, it's okay— i've got failsaves for people like you."

it's so sweet how she really tries to soothe him— and yet she can't help but let out that last remark.

people like you.

those few words surely lodge in more than all the reassurances. they're like splinter, proving grian right.

eventually, he gets to skizz.

during the tour of skizz's base, skizz shows him a horse statue and starts talking about how he lost his first horse at an event that grian was also a part of. and grian's stomach instantly sinks.

he asks hushedly, a bit confused, trying to remember: "was i there?"

skizz laughs. "you were absolutely there, dude."

which leads grian to ask, uneasily: "did i do it?"

skizz waves his hands, quick to easily reassure that no! that's not it, grian didn't do it!

grian lets out an oh with such palpable relief, and goes on to explain about how, "i remember witnessing it, but sometimes it's hard to disentangle whether i did it or not. coz i tell you what, on this tour i've broken everyone's stuff."

nobody was upset with grian when things broke, but here he is, several hermits down, still unable to leave it to rest. because it's him. it's him who did all of that, somehow, and he didn't mean to, but it doesn't matter. it happened anyway.

and now he can't even tell what is and what isn't his fault anymore.

the guilt is deep rooted, leaving anxious assumptions and dark, jagged precipices. how much did he destroy? what else should he be feeling guilty about? how far does this go?

he keeps breaking things, and it's such a blur that he can no longer tell what is and what isn't his fault.

the tour continues, and he delves into skizz's pyramid. and it's just— it's just a tunnel to swim through. nothing to mess up, besides potentially dying to suffocation, right?

and yet you can hear skizz shrilly exclaim: "oh he's going to end up breaking something!!"

and, (plantie's words: ) grian hearing that and just wondering, is that all i'm good for? is that all i'm known for? is that all i am?

there's no room for doubt; not really. that is what grian does, all the time, whether he wants to or not. he breaks stuff. he just— he doesn't mean to. and this tour is one big show of how powerless he is against it. (how everyone expects it from him anyway.)

despite it all, grian perseveres, trying out skizz's game, stubbornly dedicated and trying to win. (to pass; to have something to be proud of, at least—) and he gets to the powdered snow section.

there, he jumps across to a pathway that he was meant to circle to through the snow instead.

it's not breaking anything, not really. not even the rules. it's not cheating! he's just— he just did something skizz did not expect, but that was entirely possible within the game's design, even if not intended. he exploited it to his advantage; a risky, tricky shortcut.

and yet skizz remarks with a laugh: "this is what grian does! he breaks games!"

no matter what grian does... is that all he'll ever be?

is that all they'll see?

he fails getting through skizz's game, is thanked for play-testing, praises it all, they talk it all away, and...

and then grian goes to tour mumbo's base.

and fails to even die properly to his llama—

and then mumbo shows him his archive machine, and instantly panicks when grian gets curious about it, begging him not to touch anything. and grian says: "your stomach just fell through didn't it?" and after mumbo's immediate agreement, he adds: "and rightfully so. coz, almost everything i've touched on this tour has broken."

there's not a sliver of surprise to mumbo's anxious rushed: "yeah, yeah yeah! please stop now." because, of course things have broken. of course what grian touches is bound to go wrong. of course—

and then mumbo very carefully tells grian what to do with the machine.

grian does as he's told.

mumbo looks up and pauses, a frown crossing his face as he takes it in. he notes that grian probably did it too fast—

(something went wrong)

(something broke)

mumbo says: "i can't believe you come along and every single thing in my base starts [going wrong/breaking/malfunctioning]"

and then grian mysteriously ends up with an extra book from mumbo's machine, much to mumbo's dismay. grian's confused, cogs spinning as he tries to figure out what did he mess up this time to result in this.

it's clear mumbo wants grian away from his machine. it's not safe. (grian isn't safe.)

"maybe just give that to me and maybe just step away from the contraption. and then— maybe just leave me to—"

grian's upset and bewildered voice cuts in: "i didn't do anything wrong this time :(("

he's trying so hard.

he's trying so hard to be good and do things right and not mess anything up.

(it isn't working.)

(it's never bound to work, is it?)

mumbo ushers him away, and ends up showing him another cool invention—an elevator. except the second mumbo hits the button, a creeper shows up and explodes it. (it's midday.) (it wasn't even meant to be there.)

this one isn't grian's fault at all, but with everything that's happened— well, it's easy enough to link it to grian's presence. like a bad luck omen.

apprehensively, grian asks if the elevator broke, and mumbo—a bit bewildered by the reality of it—says that no, it seems to still work. "amazingly," he tacks on, disbelieving.

grian's relieved. "ohh, i thought we were in big trouble there!"

besides himself, mumbo anxiously agrees: "augh. i was like, if every single creation that i show breaks in some fashion, i'm just gonna quit."

because this isn't normal. none of this is, least of all everything at once. it simply doesn't happen.

(not when grian isn't there, anyway.)

mumbo notes that he needs to work on his lighting, and grian nods wisely saying it's a perpetual issue, but the anxiety is digging its talons in now, unrelenting. (what else is going to go bad in grian's presence? what else will he mess up? what else will he break? why is he like this?)

another remark that comes after this is mumbo's nervous: "i've actually just built up the automatic sorter which does this—which you're not gonna touch. we're banned from touching any redstone contraptions!"

and what can grian do but oblige? (but he can at least look, right?)

but does it ever change anything?

does it matter?

at the end of the day, the others don't think too much about it.

they all say their part, pass their judgment, wave their hands, dismiss, move on. it doesn't keep them up at night.

... i think it might keep grian up at night.

a cacophonous collection of word snippets, aimed at him or woven around him, digging under his skin until it bleeds. a noose of inescapable fate, a tightening band around his chest that promises he can only ever be one thing:

a vessel for destruction.

it doesn't matter if he wants to be.

shackles and chains and a cosmic inevitability written into his skin, etched into his bones, tangled into his bloodstream. and an ever-rising guilt like stormy sea, far above his head now, drowning him.

(maybe he's not meant to be near other people and their things.)

(maybe he's not meant to touch games that were constructed with so much effort and love and passion poured into them.)

(maybe he shouldn't—)

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bonus screenshots from discord DMs (with extra sprinkles of hmtb mentions):

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bonus hmtb quotes because i kept thinking about it:

He always destroys the things he loves most, after all.

and:

He destroyed everything he touched, and when there was nothing left, he destroyed the only remaining thing: himself.

#ange answers #ribbon anon #grian angst #i might've gotten a bit rambly - this wasn't meant to be so long it just sort of kept snowballing the further i went. oops #anyway grian's such a good vessel for guilt #because he internalises it and holds on #even if nobody else holds a grudge #even if nobody else blames him #(and yet in all the little remarks - do they really not hold it against him? isn't there proof enough that clearly it matters to them too?)#(so how could he ever be absolved?)#for them these are just some random events #but for him it piles up and piles up and piles up #into an undeniable pattern that stains his hands like blood #and he can't wash his skin free of it #he can't escape it #no matter how hard he tries #(and yes it does tie beautifully into hmtb grian and his own perspective on things and struggles and how he deals with guilt)#(the keyword here is: badly) (he deals with the guilt badly)#i also went to think about other things like the tunnel bore incident and SL mumbo and WL zombie skizz and-#just so many instances of grian guilt you know?#it builds up until it's indisputable and inevitable #and grian is cornered by the reality of it (with nowhere to go)#think about it:#grian feels guilt over things he feels he has no control over (because it doesn't matter how hard he tries)#and we know grian thrives on having control #(just throwing that out there)#something about how grian keeps wretchedly confessing it to everyone - that he already broke many things #like tacking a warning sign on himself so they'd know to step away and save themselves #(and he's so scared it'll happen again. so scared that it'll keep happening. so scared that it'll never stop—)

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the-pea-and-the-sun · 6 months ago

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why is namek like that

i had a namekian specbio post drafted but along the way i got distracted with the namekian sky, so im just jotting down a bit of my thoughts about how a namekian solar system and planet atmosphere might work. most projections arent particularly stable, its no surprise they had a severe ecological disaster. we know namek has liquid water, and is an earth-like enough temperature for bulma to be comfortable there, so everything else is kind of bending around that. this super cool article by sean raymond talks about how you might make a no-night planet work. luckily no other planets are ever specified to exist in namek's solar system (to my knowledge) which makes this a lot easier! generally more stars = less planets, so im imagining that namek is the only planet in its solar system.

this is raymond's three star system diagram! in this model though, the planet actually does experience night, but only once every 600 years. im satisfied with this, as we get the information about namek "always having at least one sun in the sky" from dende, who's 8 years old, and likely just hasn't experienced or heard about namek's night yet. there's a lot of fun worldbuilding potential here! supposedly grand elder is only around 500 years old, and given that within his lifetime there was a catastrophe great enough to nearly extinct their species, it's possible that no living namekians know that their planet has a night time. but if they have, it's probably some huge legendary event, and is probably associated with porunga in some way since that's the only time the vast majority of namekians will ever experience a dark sky (do namekians have religion? holidays? questions for later...)

so COOL a three star system works! (as long as you allow for these substantial aus, anything for eternal sunlight..) however due to dragon ball rules we're working with a canon year of only 130 days. this is kinda problematic for a habitable planet like namek. shorter orbital period = closer to the (main) sun. given that there are already two extra suns shining light on this definitely liquid water having planet, this seems like we might have to do some magical hand-waving, which makes me sad because i find that boring. but its at least fun to think about what the magical logic is instead of just saying "eh it works because magic", so i wanted to try that! since the dragon balls operate on their own magical logic they might have a skewed definition of what a "year" can be classified as (and a year is pretty cultural too, right?). also, why do the dragon balls take a year to be able to be used again at all? (aside from plot reasons) like... what are they doing? with the dragon balls on earth, it was kinda easy to presume that they were "recharging" or that the dragon himself needed some kind of "rest", and that this process just so happened to take an earth year. the translations i could find were kind of vague on this, so im taking advantage of that vagueness. being about 1 au from the sun in this model, namek's "year" as defined by how long it takes to orbit its central star is about the same as earths (a bit boring, sorry) ! and the time it takes the other two objects in its system to make a full rotation around their shared center far far exceeds that, so i kind of don't think theres any justification to define a namekian "year" as 130 days other than that being the time it takes for the dragon balls to recharge, which makes perfect sense to me culturally! i mean, given that there are three suns, surely the amount of time it takes for your planets magical wish granting dragon to start working again would be a much more meaningful unit of measurement than the time it takes your planet to complete and orbit around your smallest sun (oh god what are namekian seasons like. probably fucked. another question for later). also from my wikipedia skimming it looks like alpha centauri's planet (assuming its a planet) has a similar orbital period to earth's too. its nice to have some real-life justification 👍

theres more to say about that but im moving on from this part for now. i just wanted to provide justification for a namekian year being however long it needs to be in order for namek to have three suns and still have liquid water.

i wanna talk a bit about the planet itself. namely: why the fuck is the sky green??

almost any other sky color could have some non-poison gas explaination except green. DAMMIT!! but its fine we can make it work. (also the plants are blue. which is actually a lot less problematic but i'll talk abt that later) im referencing this artifexian video for my information here btw 👍he gives a few ways that a sky could appear green but we kinda have to rule out all of them here except for something green being physically suspended in the air, because there just isnt any light/atmosphere combination that makes the sky look green to human eyes. since krillin is a human whos just so super wicked strong he can also fly, id be fine hand-waving breathing a green gas or dust for him and gohan, but. bulma is on that planet too... breathing away... also there's pretty clearly grass on this planet and like, brown earth. so mars like dusty skies dont make a lotta sense either. so i guess artifexian's sky-algae idea will have to work ! as horrifying as the implications are .... either these guys are just straight up breathing in green stuff all the time, or the algae is somehow suspended too high up to be inhaled. (also sky-algae would explain why the planet looks almost gaseous from space)

luckily bulma doesnt seem to be having any problems breathing it that green stuff, but like pollen allergies its easy to imagine that someone would be. which is kinda fun to think about actually. someone having an allergic reaction to the namekian sky, validating bulma's concern about breathable atmosphere would be a lot of fun... BUT I DONT HAVE TIME FOR THAT FOR NOW !! i have other goals in mind. i just wanted to record this "namek's sky is green because theres guys in there" concept somewhere. also, three suns at various levels of rising at setting at all times, while not portrayed in the anime due to technical limitations, would almost CERTAINLY mean namek would have a really cool variety of sky colors! just all tinted green because of the sky algae. of course sky algae doesnt need to be green all the time, nor does it need to be in the sky (or alive) all the time. maybe the green skies are new post ecological disaster? very fun to imagine pre-guru namekian skies....

#i was curious about namekian biology mostly for gay reason at first if im being honest #and that just sort of snowballed/“if you give a mouse a cookie”-ed into me figuring out stuff about all their other biology #and then their planets ecology and then the planet itself and then their solor system. u get it #its still for gay reasons btw #i wanna write gohan having a creepy gay fascination with namekians and i guess that means i have to have one myself #oh my god i love aliens so much i miss doing specbio. i was never very good at it but i miss it #i probably repeated myself a lot i kind of jus wanted to get this bit out of the way so i can talk about the bits of namek ecology #that i actually wanna get to #dbz #namek posting #<- maybe filter this tag if u think ur gonna get sick of seeing this kinda thing on ur dash 👍

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bmpmp3 · 6 months ago

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im curious to see how we'll see how we feel about takehiro and the others' new designs when they're fully revealed but it did get me thinking about how i would design his outfit. unfortunately i realized very quickly that i would just put him in my own fashion style: department-store-clearance-core

#art #traditional art #watercolour #fanart #virvox project #kurono takehiro #vocal synth #voicevox #no id rn because i havent figured out how to translate all this to alt text yet... gimme a bit to think on it orz #BUT yeah like. well im sure their new designs will be fine. but one thing that did stand out to me. is that i do not like muscle tees LOL #and i guess it snowballed. i like fitted tank tops. and loose 90s moe tank tops. but not muscle tanks. turtlenecks are fine.#but you know maybe my walmart clearance fashion sense works for him. i always liked that he kind of dresses like some fucking guy #like his blazer is pretty slick but the rest of him is just a guy in jeans and a t shirt. and i love that #like akashi dresses like my grandpa with better colour sense. kotarou dresses like a pokemon trainer? sourin has his like #traditional modern stylish thing going on. and the mysterious fur strip glued on the back <3 and aoyama dresses lowkey kinda hypebeast #streetwear esque. but takehiro? thats literally just some dude <3 <3 <3 i do worry his new design will make him tooo trendy looking #BUT im intrigued. i think they said they're hoping to do multiple designs by a bunch of people? which i hope they can #the original designs had a very. moe? appeal. a distinct sort of cuteness and squishiness without being toothrottingly so #that might be missing from some newer designs but if we have a whole variety we can have like #a zola project situation at least. like we have the stylistic amano art all the way to the v6 glossy designs #a whole variety would be nice. but i am worried about ryuuseis hair the most lowkey. what are we gonna do without his huge bizarre fauxhawk #BUT maybe i should throw my hat in the ring.... really push myself to make more fan designs and outfits for all these characters i like #maybe i'll be able to draw something thats not just zhers clearance clothes. maybe i'll step up to gap clearance clothes. even winners??

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owletstarlet · 3 months ago

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(Just booked my flight home in April, a permanent move back to the US— I’ve been here for 8 years so it’s going to be surreal and sad, but for family/health/career reasons I know it’s the right thing to do. I’m too busy tearing my hair out trying to sort out the actual process of an international move to freak out about the fact that I’ve not been able to start looking for work or health insurance yet. Really ridiculously grateful I can stay with my parents while I work things out, but. *gestures vaguely around at the State Of Everything In America*

#i also don’t have a driver’s license and never have #was still trying to sort that out with a therapist before I just fully left for a country with easy public transit #my sister is having a baby though!!!#the election was sort of a break glass moment and my parents want me home #my family like countless others has been contending directly with the Crazy Fallout Of Current Events so #it’s probably best i’m not on the other side of the world if things get worse #i’ve also just been. so sick this year. had pneumonia in August and it snowballed from there #getting away from Child Pathogens for awhile is probably the correct decision

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sailorsally · 2 months ago

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Hi! This is the Adam Scott Ratatouille conspiracy asker :) I am also a fairly new fan so when I heard about it I was so shook lol. I have also seen those old forums, which seem legit to me? I can't imagine why people would bother lying about Adam Scott casting announcements in Year of Our Lord 2006. As for the newer results I have no explanation beyond AI slop/dead internet theory/SEO.

I only heard about this at all by randomly listening to an old Comedy Bang Bang from 2016 that Adam was on. He and Scott were joking about Adam's old projects (specifically Hot Tub Time Machine 2) and Scott said something like "yeah those won't be erased from Wikipedia like Ratatouille". Then there was a weird silence and then Scott laughed and was like "oops, just realized that wasn't actually a callback to anything in this episode, that was something we had talked about in person". And then (clearly) I went on an insane Google rabbit hole trying to figure out what that meant hahaha.

oh my god wait now I am OBSESSED w this because there is CLEARLY something going on. Either it was a joke started by a friend that for some reason got picked up by news outlets and Adam was actually never supposed to be in Ratatouille OR he was and then something shitty happened and now it's this inside joke. Either way I'm sooo curious to know the backstory of this now ahhhhhh

#also not to bring his rodent look into this #But maybe a friend was just like. taking a piss. and it snowballed into news articles lmao #I mean we will never know what happened until someone asks him about it directly #And someone should!#Adam Scott #Ratatouille #(sort of)#Ask Sally

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dangaer · 4 months ago

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love when it's a thursday and my muses are having the ultra rare thoughts of smut today. might update that post I made a few years ago abt their role preferences.

#❛ 𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 ⧽ — ooc.#suggestive in tags /#i. blame ai.s bc he kickstarted the thoughts of tension but also #the idea of him calling someone a good girl/boy and now it's all snowballed from there #BUT GOOD EVENING DASH IM HERE FROM WORK ...#one more ask to edit on my other blog and then post and I'll see where tonight leads me #im planning on dedicating my entire weekend to starters and are in the process of plotting them all out on a notepad when I'm not too busy #And it's been lovely. I'll be clearing up this blogs ooc posting it's just been that sort of week 💖

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shybean-18 · 2 days ago

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I’m getting more brainrot and I’m BEAMING at your guys. I hope you’re ready because it’s Blazamy flavored with a hint of doomed yuri (It’s a very faint flavor though, I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself if I write actual doomed yuri)

(This is a HUGE yapsesh so I'm going to put the whole thing under a cut!! ^^)

I just got this small idea where Blaze falls in love with Amy basically as soon as she lays her eyes on her and progressively falls for her even more the closer the two get together. But there’s one small problem, Blaze believes that this is a one sided crush because she thinks she’s already in a relationship with Sonic and Shadow. In reality though Amy’s just in a qpr with the two and from an outsider perspective it’s fairy easy to assume they’re in a poly relationship given the fact that Sonic and Shadow are actually dating and Amy’s very physically affectionate with them. And Blaze is also so caught up in thinking that Amy is already in a relationship that she never catches the hints that Amy drops that she likes her back and interprets it as Amy being friendly with her.

This goes on for a few weeks before one day Blaze mentions to Silver in passing on how her feelings for Amy are one sided because she’s already in a relationship and Silver basically does the BIGGEST record scratch before going “Amy’s not in a romantic relationship with them, she’s just really close to them. The only romantic thing about them is whatever Sonic and Shadow got going on” and that makes Blaze’s whole world freeze. Blaze talks to him about it more and they end up finding out that there was a hugeee misunderstanding on Blaze’s end when Silver explains everything to her. Afterwards he encourages Blaze to go confess to Amy so she can finally figure out if she likes Blaze back or not.

Fast forward a few days Blaze finally gains up the courage to ask Amy if she can come over to talk and becomes a nervous wreck when Amy’s like “Sure! Come over whenever’s best for you!” So later that night Blaze gathers some flowers and a hair brooch before making her way to Amy’s place. Once she’s there she spends a good few moments hyping herself up before knocking on the door and politely declines Amy's offer to come inside. Amy questions if everything is alright and Blaze nods before she's like "I have something I've been wanting to tell you for the longest" and basically spills her heart just for Amy, telling her how she's loved her for the longest and always made her want to become a better person just for her. When Blaze is done Amy is staring at her wide eyed and very red faced for a moment and goes "Sorry, give me a moment" while she's fanning herself. After Amy finishes gathering herself together she tells Blaze that she's always liked her too and hearing what Blaze just said made her unbelievably happy, and if they wanted to they could take a small step forward and become official to which Blaze agrees with immediately. They talk for a bit before Blaze is basically like "Oh yeah, before I go I want to give these to you" and hands Amy the flowers and brooch and wishes her goodnight before leaving.

#shy yaps #brainrot center #This was supposed to be a short brainrot post #But it kinda snowballed as you guys can tell #I’m lowkey thinking about turning this into a fic #If I do the ending will likely be changed a tad bit hehe #And I also might include an extra scene where Amy hugs the brooch and flowers tightly while squealing and bouncing around #This was sort of inspired by 'She Likes a Boy' by Nxdia btw!! I just decided to give this a happy ending because I can't handle angst #and no comfort. It WILL leave me O(-(

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