#trying not to be fucking useless

[riddle-me-ri]

don't mind me just having a wee rant about some real life stuff cause internally screaming or crying into my pillow isn't cutting it rip

I really, really wanna throw up and it's not just cause of the stupidly disgustingly hot weather (100+F/37+C) but it's not helping.

For those that have anxiety, don't yall hate how it just festers and spreads? I feel like I've kept okay tabs on it not getting too bad.

I get socially drained and overwhelmed here and there but nothing a small break or sleeping won't help

For me I know the likely cause of all this is cause I've got stuff going on in real life and it's just...spreading to insecurities I have about my stuff and my presence in general...

I just feel really puny, inadequate and small...like I don't really matter which I know isn't true but just thats what it feels like, y'know?

[bubblesthecow]

Watching Star Wars in chronological order is so funny.

Obi-Wan Kenobi really took one look at R2D2 in the middle of the desert and said “No, Luke, I’ve never seen this fucking droid in my life. Looks like a real bitch though. Not that I’d know. This is my first time meeting the asshole.”

No one in that whole franchise was Gatekeep-Gasslight-Girlbossing quite like “Ben” Kenobi, regular human-man.

[noname-404s-blog]

[introspectivememories]

thinking about shanks and buggy and how the love was there!!! it was there and it was clear and it was real and it was tangible and it still was not enough!!! the love was there when they grew up together and the love was there when they traveled the world together and the love was there when shanks gave up on the one piece for buggy and the love was there when shanks dived into the ocean to save buggy and the love was there when they promised to go to raftel together on their own ships and the love was there when they lived together in loguetown in the hiatus before roger died and the love was there when buggy damaged luffy's hat and the love was there still when they saw each other at marineford after two decades and shanks still trusted buggy to get the strawhat back to luffy and the love was there still, still, still, when rogers' body was cooling on the execution stand and his blood was being washed away by the rain and shanks put out his hand, palm faced up in supplication, and said "i'm not going after the one piece" and said the words he's been saying since he was a child, a plea, a prayer, "come with me buggy" and buggy who had given up on his hopes and dreams, crushed under the promise of shanks' shining future and his brilliant potential, humiliated by his cowardice and his belief in his would-be king, his friend, his brother, his shanks, slaps his hand away, closes his ears to the plea, the prayer, the devotion shanks is saying, and said "i'll never come with you!" the love was there still and it was not enough.

[unforth]

There's another post getting popular on this hellsite that boils down to, "in my anecdotal experience every child is perfectly reasonable as long as you just treat them as a tiny adult" and I'm ready to scream.

Actually mental illnesses are still mental illnesses! No matter how you treat the mentally ill person sometimes they will still show symptoms of being mentally ill because they are mentally ill! Yes even children!

I swear the minute it's about parents or children all the ~uwu take care of yourself~ acceptance crowd on Tumblr instantly reverts back to ableism and cultural Christianity - because obviously children are perfect and pure beings who are only misbehaving because the adults around them, especially their parents, aren't ~doing it right~ aren't ~trying hard enough~ actually mental illness just comes from parent fuck-ups ~obviously~. So any parent that isn't perfect 24/7 is bad and any kid is perfect until an adult messes them up. And yall haven't even unpacked your attitudes enough to realize that's the logical conclusion of these "well I work with kids and I just listen to them and everything goes perfect" posts and never fuckin reblog my angry posts where I try to point it out and I am absolutely fucking exhausted yall are exhausting. Sometimes, for parents with mental illnesses, the mental illness mental illnesses! Sometimes, for kids with mental illnesses, the mental illness mental illnesses! If your premise is "the only problem with kids is how the adults around them treat them" you are completely disconnected from reality.

It's ableist.

It's ableist.

I.t. i.s. a.b.l.e.i.s.t.

I am *begging* yall to think for five minutes before you make yet another "well I saw a kid in the grocery store crying and I asked them what was wrong and they were fine after we talked so clearly this is the secret to parenting" post viral on the 2% of people have children website. Just accept you don't know jackshit about parenting, shut the fuck up, and stop spreading ableist garbage!

[alexjcrowley]

Slow Horses is like cocaine for people who are addicted to father-son relationship between two fucked up guys who aren't actually related

[happyk44]

percy needs to be haunted by bianca's ghost more

[legally-killable-sparrow]

Odysseus over here like ‘I was such a terrible person… I came back but Penelope I’m not the same man…’

And Penelope’s Not Having That Shit, girl is just like ‘FUCK THAT. YOU ARE my HUSBAND. YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST QUIT BECAUSE YOUVE MURDERED A BABY OR TWO? FUCK I COULD KILL A BABY RIGHT HERE IF YOU NEED ME THAT RIDE OR DIE’

And anyways one day I’ll find a woman who I can confess my love and terrible deeds to just like her

[sleepymim]

Ok so this is going to be my attempt to put all of my thoughts about Silco and Vander and their relationship and how they might achieve reconciliation into one coherent post because I cannot! stop! thinking about them!

As we see in s2e7, reconciliation between them is definitely possible. However, I think it definitely wasn't easy, and it wasn't motivated by a single event like Silco finding Vander's letter or Vi dying. I think a million little things needed to perfectly align for them to find back to one another. As others have already said, and I agree with this, I think the "happy" timeline is a statistical anomaly for them.

So what was needed for them to find back to each other? And like, disclaimer that this is obviously only my own interpretation of events.

First of all, I think one of the prerequisites for reconciliation is that Silco doesn't start working with Singed and doesn't get into Shimmer, which is supported by his eye having healed normally in the alternate timeline.

I also think that Vander's letter could only ever be a starting point for their reconciliation, something that would get them in the same room to talk again. After that, I think they'd still need a long, long time to get back to how things were.

Vi's death imo has absolutely nothing to do with whether they reconcile or not, because in the alternate timeline she dies during what would be Act 1. Silco is already past the point of no retunr here, he doesn't give a shit about Vi or the other kids, he's deep into his Shimmer business. He's literally planning to kill all the kids in episode 3. He would not give a fuck if Vi died in that explosion. If Silco and Vander are to reconcile, it needs to happen pretty soon after the betrayal.

But I think the most important aspects for their reconciliation are violence and ideology.

Obviously the actual betrayal is horrifically violent and traumatizing. Vander actively chose to drown Silco which is just like, such a brutal way to die. He does this because he puts the blame for the bridge fight escalating on Silco. This is unjustified, and the show wants us to know that Vander was in the wrong here. Vander himself admits in s1e3 that he has regretted what he did to Silco since it happened. In general episode 3 in my opinion very clearly communicates that Vander overreacted and that what Siclo did (throwing the first molotov) does not justify Vander's reaction (violent murder).

However! Vander also clearly still thinks Silco is dangerous and despite regretting how he reacted still puts some form of blame on Silco.

In the apology letter, he says the blood is on both their hands. The letter in general is shit considering the weight of what Vander did, and what it shows is that even though Vander feels bad about what he did, he does still put the blame for the bridge fight on Silco.

In act 1, Vander also says there are worse things than enforcers in the Undercity while looking at his brace that covers the scar Silco gave him while escaping. This is, presumably, before he knows Siloc has been funding Shimmer development and getting into human experimentation. He thinks Silco is worse than enforcers based on whatever happened between them in past. With s2, this is explicitly Silco's escalation on the bridge.

So obviously despite the time that has passed and the fact that Vander can admit what he did was unjustified, he does still believe Silco is dangerous based on their differing ideology. Benzo, too, obviously still holds a grudge against Silco for what happened.

So really the crux is that even though Vander feels sorry, he does not change his stance on non-violence being the right way forward for the people of Zaun, and thus he can never truly forgive Silco for what he did on the bridge - he still believes that Silco is responsible and that his own way is the right way.

I think as long as Vander keeps his ideological stance, reconciliation between them isn't possible. From both sides, because Vander thinks Silco's ideals are dangerous, and from Silco's side because he thinks Vander is a coward and a sellout.

Then let's look at Silco's side of things a little bit.

I think there's two aspects to his forgiveness/reconciliation with Vander: the violence and the ideology.

Canon pretty much tells us that Silco is willing and able to forgive the violence Vander inflicted on him. We see this not only in the alternate timeline, where they're obviously close again, but I think s1e3 tells us the same. Silco kidnaps Vander, but still offers him the chance to join him in the fight against Piltover again. I don't want to talk here about Silco's methods at this point in time, but he's obviously willing to put the murder attempt behind them IF Vander is willing to switch to his side again. He even says that his hatred for Vander passed with time. I think this implies that, somehow, eventually, with time, in a nicer timeline Silco could really forgive Vander for trying to kill him.

However, and I think this is the much bigger issue for them, there's still the matter of ideology. Vander betraying their shared goals, turning towards a pacifist, more passive approach to revolution and ultimately striking a deal with Grayson is what really drives the wedge between them.

This is what Silco despises Vander for: For turning his back on violence. Silco encourages Vander's violent tendencies, he wants him to become the person he used to be again, wants him to embrace that part of himself again. I think this supports the assumption that Silco would forgive the violence inflicted against him much easier than Vander abandoning their shared dream. Until the end, he wants Vander to embrace that violence again.

And a Vander who is committed to non-violence is a Vander who stands in the way of Silco's goal of a free Zaun. So as long as Vander stays firm on his ideological stance, Silco is always eventually going to get rid of him. There is no way for them to find back to one another if they remain on opposite sides of the struggle they used to fight together.

This is, I think, the crux of my interpretation of them:

Reconciliation doesn't only depend on Silco coming back to Vander and forgiving him for the violence Vander inflicted upon him. It also depends on Vander coming back to Silco, internalizing that the bridge figth was not Silco's fault, and being willing to compromise his non-violent ideology and take action again for their shared dream.

It's about the two of them coming back to each other.

[blujaydoodles]

feral cats, pt 2

[you-makestedehappy]

Line deliveries that play on repeat in my brain.

Season 1, episode 4 - Discomfort in a Married State

🐈‍⬛❤️‍🩹🍆💦🏴‍☠️ [ep 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10]

Bonus :

[ganondoodle]

did you hear about that the zelda notes finally explained what happened to the sheikah tech in totk? a voice memory describes that after the events of botw and link defeating calamity ganon, all the sheikah technology and divine beasts started to crumble and turn to dust, and that the first one to break down was Vah Ruta as seen in the secret ending of botw, the only thing of sheikah tech that remains are replicas made by robbie and purah, it also implies the guardian on top of robbies lab is a replica.

im sure you mean well anon but, risking sounding like i am negativity in person and wont take any answer as an answer- i think that 1. doesnt change anything 2. was clearly an afterthought or ... them scrambling to try and sound like they totally planned it all from the start after, to them unexpectedly apparently, realizing people actually cared about things (its still bad even if they did plan that ..)

just vanishing and crumbling to dust are really the same thing if you ask me, its just like describing something exploding as an "unexpected rapid dismembering" (or however they called spacex rockets blowing up lol), vah ruta stopping to work after the end of botw was, imo, much more logical to mean, well their pilot is gone (as the champions spirit disappear supposedly permanently (though you cant be sure now about that either now i guess huh RAURU??HMM??? mister uuuh aaahh totoally goneeeee much tragiqué woops wait i need to deus ex machina your girlfriend and take back my arm)) and with them the one .. to pilot them plus possibly their power source as well (that 'theory' just makes too much sense)

if you think about it it still doesnt make it any better, the stuff in totk being replicas? welll ... obviously they were newly built stuff (off the little there is left...), and replica sounds like a copy when none of the stuff they have there is an actual copy aside from maybe the terminals to get into a tower? also how and when did they do that?? the knowledge about the tech was largely lost and i dont think alot of time passed between the end of botw and the extra scene- why wouldnt they copy guardians or anythign else more useful? the guardian on top of the hateno institute was extremely clearly a super old one, it was unfunctional and overgrown strapped to the roof in botw already- purahs stone thingy and all lanterns and sources of energy went poof too (WHERE DO THEY GET THE POWER FROM NOW?????????????????????????????????????????????), idk if the easter egg prototype titan is still there but that and cherry would be the only thing i can think of that they might have built during the 100 years they had to built stuff in botw (AND CHERRY IS GONE TOO instead a tiny version of her that what, is a shop to get your photos at????????? what?????), and now they just suddendly can built massive things? did they also find out what powers it and how and managed to built a secret replica of a fireborn (idk the english name, the flaming source) that you cant ever find (i cant check i dont have the game anymore but i dont remember a flame or otherwise sourcing thingy in the spypost- not that it would matter, its shiekah tech after all, bleurgh, we got sonau "tech" nowww) and then choose to built pretty useless stuff at that? wouldnt it have been more sensical to preserve the lasers and automations of guardians or something isntead of ... a tower that flings link, and only link mind you, into the air? to scan the ground in an very dangerous manner that is also just miles more stupid and inefficient than the previous towers????? like couldnt add to a tower to scan upwards also??????

the old problems remain! why the hell would everythign crumble or vanish? it lasted for over 10 thousand fucking years with no power either exposed to the elements or dug underground and now it just goes up in flames withtin what, a day? it remains a "woah didnt think anyone would care to ask that lol just uuuuh *makes up shit on the spot*" answer

the ooooh clamgan was defeated excuse doesnt work any better with this as it did before, if ganondorf was not connected to clamgan (which is stupid) and it 'crumbles to dust' when clamgan is defeated it should have done so in the og battle 10k years ago! if he IS connected to it why the fuck would it go away now?????? he is still there???????

and im also asking why would all of shiekah tech just crumble away into literally nothing when the stupid sonau(zonai) shit is like, largely in prime condition even though that is supposedly even OLDER (i guess the sonau are jsut that much cooler uwu their stuff lasts forever or until its timer runs out lmao and is much better anywayyyy)

this is not an attack against you anon, but i dont believe this bullshit, they are trying to stitch up holes they dug themselves and you cant get out of anymore no matter how much they roll around in it bc they didnt account for people to actually fukcing care, or, if they did plan this (which i do not believe) it STILL SUCKS and makes no sense and really .. jsut means that it really was this stupid and meaningless as it feels now from the start. they dont want you to think about it, they can say whatever they want and expect you to swallow it. they dont care.

i suppose the jokes on us, the shiekah were able to see the future and knew they would be replaced by a totally always there and also totally better version of all their stuff thats actually worse but with a totally no overused new paint job so they thoughtfully added a best before date on all botw relevant shiekah things and we all know that a day over it means it molds and dissolves in your very hands before you can even put it in the trashcan.

uwu.

[yuri-for-businesswomen]

people whose parents let them make mistakes when they make a mistake as an adult: thats not good but i will do better next time

women whose parents scolded and abused them for even small mistakes when they make a mistake as an adult:

[flowersforthemachines]

Useless Veilguard fact of the day: Day 103

The model for the dynamic parts of Neve's Gabardine Overcoat isn't rigged very well and will frequently clip with other parts of the model as it's turned around.

Check out the tag for more useless facts: #useless davg fact of the day!

[hozaloza]

It still baffles me to see some people still wishing Logan shot Jasmine in the head

DO YOU WANT HIM TO BE TRAUMATIZED?

WHAT DO THE KIDS GET OUT OF MURDERING HER? A FEW SECONDS OF "Woohoo! The bitch that caused this is dead!" They're still stuck in the phantom dimension. They're still witnessing horrors unimaginable to the human eye. Now they have to add seeing a fucking human brain to the list.

Logan won't be able to eat anything that's mushy looking and red ever again. No more spaghetti </3

[dracvlavra]

when i see yt americans tell black and brown americans to vote for biden bc “trump will be worse” or “trump is extreme right”, i roll my eyes bc where on the political spectrum does joe biden, who is financing and supporting multiple genocides as well as restricting the human rights of MILLIONS of people, fall? yt ppl think that bc he tweets abt roe v wade (which he could’ve codified but didn’t btw) that that makes him left wing