#and trust issues and an aversion to touch

[hcnnibal]

hi Vati. As per your recent angels art compilation, it pains me how A1's body language around an affectionate A2 is either:

1. Pulling away, a subtle rejection of the touch (not exactly rejection, more like ... disapproval? I recall that A1 does not like being touched, which is a neat contrast to A2 who seems to really enjoy touch -- also makes me think of your OC ship meme that showed A1's low libido yet high frequency of sex + A2's high libido despite not having sex much/at all.)

2. Letting it happen/playing along with a rueful (dare I say guilty) smile

As kids, their affectionate body language is still a bit fraught but much less so (A2's guilt over messing A1 up for life bc A1 seemingly imprinted on him hasn't set in yet, I presume?)

Also worth noting that A1 seems quite willing to touch A2 when it's STRICTLY not affectionate in the classic sense (in a comedic or romantic way), such as your art where he's carrying an injured A2 across his back.

It's very cool how you portray A1's conflicting feelings about A2's open adoration of him through these minute body/face cues. Stunning work.

Also. I must reiterate. P a i n . . .

a1 desperately craves connection, so he’s kind of constantly reaching out (even though it has yet to give him any sort of actual fulfillment). so in general, he’s much more comfortable initiating touch than receiving touch, regardless of intent

but yeah, he’s kinda got issues with physical contact as a whole, even with people he doesn’t have decades of history and baggage with. he’s always kind of just. tolerating the minimum amount of contact to. i don’t know. perform his idea of what intimacy is supposed to look like

a1 is very much… a people pleaser who’s convinced himself that he’s selfish and always acting in his own self interest. so like. i don’t think he even knows that he’s uncomfortable. he probably just thinks that everyone feels perpetually weird and unclean and he’s just a little behind the curve for not getting over it. also, he knows physical affection makes a2 happy so whatever he actually feels about it doesn’t even matter.

but i think the crux of the tragedy is that a2 is only comfortable initiating contact because he genuinely believes that he is the exception to a1’s aversion to touch, because

1. a1 is the exception for him, so it would make sense that he is the exception for a1. because you know, they are soulmates and meant to be etc etc

2. he trusts a1 to let him know if he doesn’t like something/is uncomfortable.

but no one crosses a1’s boundaries like a1 crosses a1’s boundaries so

[ustwoforsaken]

✧ — oh so ben definitely went into the fostercare system right. hm... yes... this will be the beginning of his abandonment issues

[abookloverlmao]

THE GIRL IN THE SOCKS ON THE ROOF - JJ Maybank (part II)

Summary: You're in the wind, I'm in the water, Nobody's son, nobody's daughter. Y/N was nobody's daughter, hell she was uninterested in returning home after going missing with the Pogues. Wanting to go back to his arms- her will to live.

part 1: it took me a while! sorry y'all but here you have it<3

Warning: female!reader, triggering themes (mental health struggles, including references to self-harm, abusive dad, daddy issues, alcohol, drug, weed, swearing, angst, argument, shitty nicknames, bullying? etc. this will angsty as shit and fluffy, do not read if you don't want to! you have been warned, let me know what you think!

☆☆☆

If anyone dared to touch his Y/N, JJ will fucking murder them.

When Y/N and Kiara were unexpectedly kidnapped, an overwhelming fury consumed JJ. The thought of Y/N in danger fueled his hatred, and his temper flared as he grappled with the worry that gripped his heart.

Y/N had been by JJ's side through thick and thin, she not only inspired him in creating Poguelandia's flag but also joined him on hunting trips, despite her aversion to the idea of taking lives. 

"This is the ultimate dream, baby. Who needs rescuing from paradise?" JJ scoffed as he secured the rope, glancing at Y/N, who gazed at him with an adoring smile.

"No passports, just living the dream, surf trip, right?" she said, her eyes in the shape of hearts, tanned JJ was something, golden curls, his eyes more blue. The sight of her looking at him that way caused JJ's heart to race, so he averted his gaze, trying to regain composure.

"Ready?" he finally asked, his voice slightly husky, causing Y/N to clear her throat and stand, extending her hand towards him, "yes sir," she replied pulling him up before making her way towards the ocean, spear in hand.

"All right remember, watch your shadow, they see that, they're gone," he warned her as soon as their feet were on the water earning a nod from her and a gulp.

"Just like we practiced, Y/N," she nodded and held the spear with both hands, eyes studying the water for any fish, JJ tried not to stare, her tanned skin, her flushed cheeks thanks to the sun, how her exposed back muscles moved, her shorts soaked and she wore only sports bras, her shirt long forgotten.

"There's a skate, I can't- I really can't-" she cringed at the thought of stabbing the spear through the poor animal so he took action, "dang it! I missed it," he spun around hurriedly in search of the fish but the girl moved without a thought.

stabbing the spear while looking away, she caught it surprisingly, "you did it!" he exclaimed pulling her into a hug between laughs, "that's food in our bellies right there!"

and when Kiara dared him to jump off a mountain onto the sea, she was worried, "JJ don't, what if you drown like last time?" Y/N asked grabbing his wrist, still afraid about the last time when he got hit by the blunt of a machete and fell off the boat.

JJ paused, his excitement fading a little as he saw the genuine fear in her eyes, he understood her concern, the lingering trauma that had affected them both. 

Gently, he reached out and clasped her hand, offering a reassuring smile.

"Y/N, I know it's scary to think about what happened, but I've taken precautions this time. I've learned from my mistakes, it's just a dare," he assured her, his voice filled with determination, "I won't let anything happen to me. Trust me."

Y/N's grip on his wrist tightened, her worry mingling with a flicker of trust, she knew that JJ will never do such a thing to scare her, but she also knew that this boy was stubborn as fuck.

With a mix of apprehension and faith, she nodded reluctantly.

☆☆☆

Apparently, there was a history between Rafe Cameron and Y/N L/N, both were said to be caught in the corner of a party once, Rafe Cameron towering over her and her leaning back against the wall.

Saving Portis's life was a horrible idea, really, it was, Kiara got the idea and Y/N hated the thought of leaving her behind even if the girl sometimes can be a little mean.

JJ watched as Y/N raced between people on the bridge and slid down to hide under a boat with Kiara, their boots came in handy as the girls kicked the man in the face crawling out of their hiding spot.

A man got her arms and held them secure while another grabbed Kiara, she looked around in desperate search of JJ, the familiar blonde hair not once seen, nothing.

She sat on the back of the car in terror looking around for any of the Pogues, eyes focused on the ocean, under the bridge, nothing, she slumped back down and kept herself from attacking Portis in a fit of fury.

"We saved your life! That's what we get?" she snapped, her tone laced with righteous anger and disbelief, her entire body trembled with a mix of adrenaline and frustration, and her eyes locked onto Portis, daring him to respond.

"I'll try to help you, just do as they tell you," Portis said looking at her eyes, wildfire clear in them, "I will make you pay for this," she dropped back to sit beside a soaked Kiara, her grip on the girl tightened, her arm wrapping protectively around the trembling girl. 

She pulled Kiara closer, seeking solace in their shared strength. Their eyes remained fixed on the guards before them, sharp and piercing like daggers.

Pogue girls.

they were locked in a random mansion with guards surrounding them left and right, the windows locked, everything secure and made sure they don't escape, the closet was open revealing red silk dresses and a note "PICK YOUR SIZE" not even some pants or shirt, just fucking dresses.

The warm shower after a month of staying on an island felt amazing though, both the girls stayed each in there for a damn hour, Y/N overthinking of a way out and Kiara doing the same, sighing as the water ran down her back.

The dress was perfect however, and the girls looked like absolute angels, the red that reminded them of rich wine only kooks drank with their tanned skin absolutely perfect.

And seeing Rafe Cameron didn't make her feel any better, "you! I knew you and your father were behind this shit," she spoke storming towards the boy that is rumored to be talking to her- well was.

Rafe glared at her and took a step forward towards her, "What are you talking about? You trying to weasel in on my deal is that what's going on?" he asked pointing at himself, she scrunched her nose at him, hair still damp, "what? Are you hearing yourself? I think you became even more loco with the buzz cut-"

someone cut her off, a man with an accent, presenting himself as Carlos Singh, he apologized to the girls about the rough tactics in bringing them here and it made her raise an eyebrow, Kiara was studying the man up and down suspiciously.

She eyed Rafe and moved with Kiara behind Carlos taking a seat on the couch far from him, so this man talked about El Dorado for about an hour and she found herself getting annoyed every second especially when he pointed out that the three of them would find this island or whatever.

"I didn't listen to a word you just said, how much are you gonna keep philosophizing?" Y/N found herself agreeing with Rafe on something for once.

"you girls have a manuscript, a diary," she froze once Carlos's eyes landed on the girls, and she could feel the curly-haired girl by her side tense, "this is ridiculous, we don't have any diary," she spoke feeling Rafe's eyes on her.

"how else could you have learned that the cross was on the Royal Merchant?" he asked and Kiara replied, indicating that they couldn't help him even if they wanted to, which was a terrible idea.

"We have been glued on an island for a month, how do you think we will help you?" Y/N added watching as Rafe got up and was about to walk expecting that this was all a game, but a guard holding a rifle stood in front of him.

Y/N's heart raced as she watched the guard step in front of Rafe, blocking his path. The realization sank in that escaping this mansion and the clutches of Carlos Singh's operation would not be as simple as they had hoped.

She, Kiara, and Rafe were locked in a room, one day to find this diary and witnessed Portis get shot in front of them, who wouldn't be fucking terrified? Rafe grabbed her arm and turned her to face him holding her shoulder firmly, "don't bullshit me, this diary, do you have it?" he asked.

Y/N pushed him away with a look, fear could be seen in them, "does it look like I have it, Rafe, no." she snapped, her voice filled with defiance. 

She took a step back, her eyes scanning the room for any possible escape route. 

☆☆☆

Rafe had slept the night on the ground while she and Kiara were on the bed, well Y/N had stayed the night awake thinking just in case, she and the Cameron boy got into arguments, he tried to talk to her but she kept pushing him away from her, saying that she doesn't own him shit.

Walking down the stairs with the guard's hand gripping her arm, she stood in front of Carlos in her pajamas, "I lied. I know about the diary, I don't have the original but I can get you a copy, but... if I do this I need to go alone, with Kiara and I swear to you, I'll give you the diary and then you let us go," of course, everything will end like shit with this man.

Apparently, Portis sent a message from beyond the grave that he had captured JB and Sarah and then she was dragged up the stairs by the guard and thrown into the room.

"Get up- Carlos is heading to John B and Sarah- why is he crying?" she asked looking at Rafe with a frown, amusement twinkling in her eyes, "Peterkin, daddy issues," replied Kiara standing up and looking at her with wide eyes at the piece of information.

"oh my god.." she shook her head at the boy.

"He has a boat that could get us out of here," Kiara added staring out the window and gesturing to Rafe who tried to walk towards Y/N but stopped at her glare.

"Fine. This is our only chance of getting out, but that doesn't mean I trust you," she added still in the silk pajamas, hers were black instead of grey, Rafe nodded, "Fine. I get it," It did pain him that she doesn't trust him though.

but, the trio worked amazingly in being actors that's for sure, Y/N deserved an Oscar for screaming so loud and pretending to see Kiara dead, she "fought" with Rafe who threatened to "kill" her, and by that, she means yelling and throwing furniture around to pretend they were fighting, Rafe helped her lay on the bathtub and pretend to be dead.

Hand holding hers she slid into the bathtub, a leg and a hand out, not a move of her muscles.

As the guard entered the room, his eyes widened in shock at the sight before him. Kiara lay motionless, her vacant stare adding to the illusion of death. Y/N's boots peeking out from behind the bathtub and her arm hanging limply added to the grim scene.

Before the guard could fully process what he was witnessing, Rafe sprang into action, with a swift and forceful movement, he struck the guard with the door, causing him to stumble backward. Rafe continued landing powerful punches that disoriented the guard, rendering him unable to react effectively.

Seizing the opportunity, Kiara swiftly moved to secure the guard. She expertly used the curtains, swiftly and efficiently binding his hands to prevent any resistance. 

Y/N, her heart pounding with adrenaline, went for the gun, her voice was firm as she issued her orders, "Stay still! Don't make a move," Y/N commanded and he froze under Rafe.

With the guard now subdued and under their control, the trio had a fleeting moment of relief. They exchanged glances, acknowledging the success of their coordinated efforts. 

and with that, they raced down the stairs following Rafe, Kiara took the picture of El Dorado and the girls followed their friend's brother, racing down the garden and climbing a passing truck.

her grip tightened around the gun, she is holding a gun at the age of 17 for fuck's sake, she almost gave it to Rafe if it wasn't for him to throw the guy off the truck, she was shocked and the first thing that came to mind was what if he did it to her and Kiara.

Rafe kept an eye on her for the entire time, they don't talk anymore and she has every right to hate him, but he kept an eye out, and he's beginning to regret every bad thing he did to her.

he was going to do anything if anyone tried to hurt her, they may never be friends again but he will try at least.

she pushed the green cover off her and sat against the truck as soon as the patrol was over, inhaling and exhaling she looked around, "I told you we just had to work together." not once did she glance at him nor Kiara did.

"All right. Listen, I'm headed out to my boat, okay? I can give you a ride out, drop both of you wherever somewhere safe. One thing though." Kiara looked at him with a frown while Y/N stared out in worry.

"Y/N look at me." with a clenched jaw she turned towards him, "I know your friends are on the island and my sister. I'm not helping them. All right? I can't trust them, okay? I'll give you a ride out, not them."

she stayed silent for a while before nodding, "I just want to get off the island," Rafe turned towards Kie who nodded as well still trying to catch her breath, "Same here."

"That's smart," he said and Y/N rolled her eyes, he really thought I was gonna leave my friends behind. JJ? her mind went back to the handsome blonde, is he alright? did he get caught by Singh?

running a hand through her hair in frustration, pushing it away from her face she leaned back, inhaling and exhaling to keep her anxiety down before she has a mental breakdown.

She could hear Rafe talk to Kie about how he always liked her and that she's at least half Kook, Y/N scoffed, "Half Kook, is it a nationality or something?" 

Rafe fought the urge to roll his eyes, "do you have to be sarcastic every time?" he asked making her turn towards him in annoyance, "Do you have to be such a jerk every time?" Y/N retorted, her voice filled with frustration.

Rafe looked taken aback for a moment before his expression hardened. "I'm not the one who brought a gun to a patrol, Y/N," he said, his voice cold.

Y/N bristled at the accusation, "I only brought the gun because I didn't trust you to keep us safe, as if you didn't hold a gun many times and aimed it at me," she said, her voice rising.

Rafe shook his head, looking exasperated. "You don't trust anyone, Y/N. That's the problem," he said, his voice tinged with annoyance, she didn't say another word, way too tired to argue.

"After what you have done to me, I will never trust you," Kiara watched them back and forth, "I did you a solid," he replied staring ahead, "You told everyone that we fucked, told everyone about my relationship with my father, and... you tried to kill Kie and aimed a gun at me." said Y/N.

Rafe tried to say something, but couldn't, so he closed his mouth.

Soon she hopped off the truck and landed beside Kiara with a thud, "Come on. My boat's down here." both the girls followed him towards a white big boat.

"Make sure your shoes are off. both of you." he ordered and the girls stood still, "Okay, we should have enough juice to get us to Saint Lucia, no problem." 

he noticed them still standing there, "Hey, get in the boat, Y/N! Kie!" he exclaimed watching them intensely, Kie spoke, "You're not gonna pull anything if we get in?" she asked the boy who sighed in vexation.

"No, I'm not gonna pull anything, okay? I'm trying to do you a solid here. You really wanna be back there with Singh, or do you wanna be somewhere safe? Now can one of you help me with the bowline?"

they finally did as told, Y/N kept her socks on as she climbed the boat, "Go help him with the bowline, I'll check around," Kiara nodded and the girl immediately moved around.

the sound of grunting caught her attention and Y/N raced outside, Kiara jumped on the boat and Y/N ran towards the railing seeing Rafe in the water, "oh shit!" she exclaimed looking at Kiara with wide eyes.

The girl started the boat and immediately took control, Rafe yelled and called out for the girls, and for the first time in a while, she felt a pang in her heart.

she felt bad but she had nothing to do, she had to save the Pogues.

"Kie! Where are you going?!" he exclaimed making her wince and look at him with a scrunched nose, "I've gotta help my friends!" yelled Kiara and the boat started moving.

"You don't know what you're doing! Hey!" he panted and threw his arms around, "Shit! I'll find you, Kie! I'll find you! you're both gonna regret this shit. Y/N! You're done!"

she gulped, "I'm sorry!" she yelled back turning around and making her way up to stand beside Kiara, "don't you think that's a little too far?" she asked the brown-haired girl who looked back at the boy, "maybe. please send them our location."

The girl nodded taking the phone and looking back at poor struggling Rafe, it's a bit too far, isn't it? She thought.

Y/N couldn't help but feel guilty as she watched Rafe struggling in the water. She knew that leaving him behind was harsh, but she also knew that she had to help her friends.

As Kiara drove the boat towards their destination, Y/N couldn't help but feel a sense of unease, she didn't know what was going to happen next, but she knew that they were in for a rough ride, what if Carlos found them again and this time he kills her.

"Are you okay?" Kiara asked, breaking the silence.

Y/N nodded, her mind still racing, "Yeah, I'm fine. Just... worried about what's going to happen next," she said, her voice filled with uncertainty.

"Do you have that gun?" asked Kiara again, Y/N nodded and pulled out the gun from behind her, "we are definitely going to jail," sighed the girl, "hey, it's just for protection."

"Yeah..."

With that they fell silent, the boat racing towards their destination, gun at the ready, waiting for the teenagers to appear, Kiara wrapped her arm around Y/N's shoulders and the girl stared ahead.

"I'm sorry...if I suspected you, I shouldn't have been harsh on you," started Kiara glancing at Y/N who threw herself on the chair in tiredness, her heart still hammering against her chest.

"Its fine, I get it Kie," she smiled at her and tapped the location on the screen, before putting her phone by her side and closing her eyes, "I would've done the same." Kiara smiled brightly and laughed.

"We will end up in jail one day, girl," she spoke making her laugh, "definitely, I regret leaving that dress back though, it was so pretty," Kiara nodded in agreement, "so sexy,"

***

Y/N leaned against the fence, thinking about everything, her finger tapped anxiously against the railing as she waited until the sight of a blue shirt and familiar blonde hair caught her eyes.

She frowned, who is he? why was he looking around? As soon as the boy turned around and his eyes caught Y/N, she froze, like time stopped and nothing mattered only their eyes meeting one another's.

The hues of E/C mixing in with the blue and the hint of turquoise, sharp features, pink cheeks thanks to the sun.

"JJ?" she called jumping off and racing down the small stairs trying not to slip, the boy was completely frozen, "JJ." she ran and the boy finally walked, every muscle in his body easing.

She threw herself on him, his strong arms wrapped around her so tightly as he pulled her to his body even closer, she ran her hand through his hair, tears blurring her vision.

"Y/N," JJ breathed out in the crook of her neck, lips brushing against her delicate skin, his voice filled with relief, she pulled back slightly, looking up at him with tear-filled eyes, hand reaching to cup his cheek lovingly.

"Wow! I didn't think I'd see you ever again." she said her voice trembling but there was that beautiful smile on her lips, JJ tilted his head with a smile and studied her with his grip not once leaving her, "Yeah, but I'm here now. Okay? It's all right. It's all right." he said pulling her again towards him.

Her arms wrapped around him so tightly, JJ never wanted to pull away, her lips ghosting on his neck was inexpressible, JJ felt his heart racing as Y/N's lips brushed against his neck, sending shivers down his spine.

He had missed her so much, and he couldn't believe that she was finally here with him, worry ate him alive the past day when she wasn't by his side, and now he was cherishing the moment they were finally reunited.

They stood there, wrapped in each other's arms, finding solace in the embrace.

"I can't believe you're here," Y/N murmured, her voice filled with a mix of joy and disbelief, "I thought... I thought I had lost you." JJ's grip tightened around her, and his voice was soft as an angel, "I'm here, Y/N. I'm not going anywhere," he reassured her, and he was right, he was never going to leave her ever again, he wasn't going to let someone take her from him.

"We'll get through this together."

JJ's smile widened, his thumb gently wiping away a stray tear from Y/N's cheek, he didn't care about anything but holding her to him, god he loved her.

and then after a hot minute of staring into one another's eyes, he finally pulled away as the others rushed over, JJ finally pulled away and as soon as her hand left his cheek he felt that coldness come back and then he hugged Kiara.

Sarah was on the verge of tears when she came to Y/N, she pulled her into a bear-crushing hug one that made the girl gasp for breath but she didn't complain.

"I was scared you and Kie got hurt," she said with a smile on her lips, Y/N smiled at her friend and kissed her forehead before hugging John B, Pope, and Cleo.

"I'm a Pogue, girly, me and Kie never get hurt," and of course, John B decided to be stupid, apparently the church bell ringing was the same one his dad used to ring to call him home.

Because as soon as he left, Carlos's men appeared and started shooting and if it wasn't Kiara starting the boat one would've gotten shot certainly, JJ was yet again exploding with anger as they left the island and if it wasn't JB calling, and telling them to go back to Outer Banks the boy would've drove himself mad that's for sure.

Kiara went down with the others to rest after a whole day of chaos, there was surprisingly a shower in the boat, that was how rich Rafe is, while JJ went to take a shower after Pope and Cleo were done, Sarah was sitting by Y/N's side overthinking.

"you're overthinking again," started Y/N keeping her eyes glued in front of her, Sarah snapped out of it and smiled at her friend, "Yeah, I guess I can't help it sometimes," Sarah admitted with a sheepish smile, leaning back against the wall of the boat. "There's just so much going on, and I can't help but worry, i'm worried about John B."

Y/N turned to face Sarah, her expression filled with empathy. "I understand," she said softly, reaching out to place a comforting hand on Sarah's arm, "It's natural to feel overwhelmed in situations like this. We're in this together babe, and your boyfriend found gold once, nothing bad will happen to that guy." she chuckled softly.

"I mean, look at the adventures we've been through with him. We always manage to find a way, even when the odds seem impossible. And with John B leading the charge, it's bound to be one hell of a journey." it was true, this was all because of John B.

Sarah smiled at the girl's words and wrapped her arms around her shoulder pulling her into a hug, "thank you for everything," she whispered kissing her friend's forehead, "Anything for you." and with their arms linked, silence fell.

"so what's going between you and JJ, you think I haven't noticed the heart eyes," started Sarah nudging her friend who stared ahead as if she didn't hear her, "You know how JJ is. He's just being JJ," she replied cheeks burning red.

Sarah raised an eyebrow skeptically, not buying Y/N's attempt at brushing off the topic, "Uh-huh, just JJ being JJ, huh?" she said, her tone filled with playful sarcasm, "I've seen the way you two look at each other. There's definitely something more going on."

Y/N couldn't help but smile, her gaze softening as she glanced at Sarah, "Okay, fine," she admitted, shaking her head softly and keeping her hand on the steering wheel, "Maybe there's something between us. It's hard not to feel a connection with someone when you've been through so much together."

Sarah's smile widened, her eyes twinkling with mischief, "I knew it!" she exclaimed, squealing so loudly that she had to put her hand over the girl's mouth, "hush you!" Sarah moved her head away and beamed. 

"You guys are adorable together. I ship it!"

and then JJ appeared, ruffling his blonde hair with a towel and he frowned at the girls, "Ship who?" Y/N pinched Sarah's side just as the girl opened her mouth to answer, urging her to keep her mouth shut.

Sarah winced at the pinch but quickly caught on, suppressing her laughter and keeping her lips sealed.

JJ furrowed his brow at the exchange, his curiosity piqued as he approached the two girls, "What's going on?" he asked, his voice tinged with suspicion, "You guys seem like you're up to something."

Y/N flashed JJ a sweet smile, trying to maintain her composure. "Oh, nothing," she replied casually, her voice innocent. "Just girl talk, you know?"

Sarah nodded vigorously, feigning seriousness. "Yeah, just some girl talk," she chimed in, her eyes dancing with mischief.

JJ's frown deepened, clearly not convinced by their response but didn't insist, "I'll leave you guys together~" with that Sarah disappeared down the stairs while wiggling her eyebrows behind JJ.

JJ watched Sarah disappear down the stairs, a bemused expression on his face as he caught a glimpse of her mischievous eyebrow wiggle. He shook his head with a chuckle, turning his attention back to Y/N.

"Well, that was interesting," JJ remarked, a playful glint in his eyes. "I wonder what she's up to."

Y/N shrugged, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "Who knows with Sarah," she replied, her voice filled with amusement, "She's always full of surprises." He nodded and took a seat.

She stared at the sea and glanced at JJ, “you certainly know the way to Outer Banks right…?” she said awkwardly pushing herself slightly to the side, the boy shook his head and stood up looking for a map.

He examined it and then around, “yes ma’am, just head right straight up to the sun, we’ll reach at almost night fall,” she shook her head at his orders and did as told, saluting him with a grin on her lips.

They stayed silent, it was never quiet between them so this wasn’t usual, he stood by her side, always taller and shielding her from the world, even if she wasn’t that short, he was a giraffe, growing every day probably.

“He didn’t hurt you, did he?” he finally spoke, making her turn to him in confusion, she furrowed her eyebrows and tilted her head to the side, she always did that when she was confused, sometimes scrunched her nose as well.

“Rafe.” He uttered his name like it was poison, if eyes could kill; poor Rafe would be dead all the way from Barbados.

She chuckled softly and lifted her silk top revealing the gun, “now if he did I wouldn’t have this now, would I?” she said sarcastically, and JJ swore he fell in love right there and then, his girl had a mother fucking gun.

Innocent and sweet Y/N from about 8 months ago was no longer there, this was Y/N mother fucking Maybank, god his last name fit perfectly with her.

“Atta girl, now that’s what I am talking about,” he added putting his back against hers and pointing his gun playfully, back when he was young, he and John B used to do it with those army plastic toys from Walmart (or make some using paper) and now he is doing it with his lover with real guns.

“That’s some John Wick shit, right there!” he exclaimed, Y/N took her own gun and pointed it around, partners in crime, she felt like Black Widow for fuck’s sake, this was dangerous, but danger can be fun.

They both laughed but she suddenly spoke, “hey it’s better we throw it away in the ocean, cops will investigate here and then us once we’re there,” she said throwing the gun in the sea, it had a single bullet anyways.

JJ kept his and looked at it longingly, “is there no damn camera?” he asked looking around and then she looked around, “look at the drawers,” she suggested turning back to the wheel, JJ looked around and after a good 10 minutes, a polaroid camera caught his eye, it had the initials “W.C”

Wheezie Cameron.

They both gave one another bright wicked smiles and she grabbed the camera, “pose mister Wick,” she said pulling the camera closer and closing one eye, snapping a picture of JJ grinning like an idiot while holding the gun with both hands showing his dimples, she laughed and took another one, one where he was more serious.

“It’s perfect,” she said with a smile holding the polaroid in hand, JJ scrunched his nose and shook his head trying to grab them, “absolutely not. Usually I would say no shit Sherlock but-“ She elbowed him cutting him off.

“They’re not yours at all, they’re mine” she said with a matter of fact tone putting the picture in her pocket, JJ hated how his cheekbones turned red and the way he stared at her, oh so lovingly, his heart suddenly started hammering against his chest in a speed of light, like it always did when he was with her.

They say that back then, a star used to lead a captain’s way on the ship, or whatever, JJ sucked at history, got an F in his last exam, hell he was surprised he didn't get a -F, if that even existed, only good date he managed to have right was when was the Fourth of July.

Ironic. heh, forth of july, the day he held her on a random rooftop.

And if it was true, then she was his star, his star girl, pretty E/C eyes, H/C hair, tanned skin, rosy cheeks due to the rays of sun and their stay in the island, and the salty water made her skin glow.

Fucking hell he wanted to kiss her, so so badly.

JJ looked away and grabbed the camera, snapping a picture of her staring ahead, and she noticed of course, raising an eyebrow at him so his first instinct was to beam innocently at her and sneakily take the picture that came out, “at least take a good picture,” she said in amusement.

He was surprised, for a second he thought she was going to yell at him until her words caught him off guard, “deal,” he said gesturing her to turn around, putting on the fake act of a professional photographer, classic JJ.

She leaned against the wheel and fixed her clothes, hair and then looked at him reassuringly, tilting her head to the side and JJ swore he was about to fucking faint, and he wasn't being dramatic. the sun kissing her skin and making her look like an angel descending from heaven, that for a second he sat there, admiring.

And after snapping out of thoughts, he took a picture, and as she waited for it to appear, he stared, lips pursed tightly and he swallowed, and once it did and she towered over his kneeling form, her hair fell around her like curtains that she pushed it away with a frustrated groan.

His eyes fell on her lips, a single move is all he needed, if he lifted himself just a little bit, he can capture her lips then-

“it’s cute, I guess, I look a damn duck but whatever,” she said pushing herself away with a chuckle, JJ didn’t know what to say, she was perfect, in every way, in so many ways that he couldn’t describe it all, his stare could, it did and that was why the tips of her ear burned red.

"you're not a duck,"

And as he rose to his feet, the boat suddenly moved and he went to her, his hand automatically went to hold her waist and pull her to him just as she was about to fall back, his other hand went to grip the wheel and his body pressed against hers in a matter of seconds.

Her hand gripping his shoulder in fear to fall and humiliate herself in front of her crush, the other on his chest, right on top of his hammering heart that she could feel it thunder against her palm, his hand though, right on her waist, his fingertips right on the spot where her skin was a little revealed making every hair in her body rise.

Her blood ran hot and they both stared at each other, absolutely love-struck, eyes in the shape of hearts and heart beating in sync, getting louder and louder in their ears, her chest went up and down as the air suddenly left.

And she swore she noticed him lean in, tilting his head slightly to the side and she moved as well, eyes dropping to his lips and then went up to his eyes- is it happening? Is it finally happening?

His nose bumped hers, the faintest brush of his lower lip on her upper one and she took a leap of faith to press her lips against his, hey, god was with her and giving her a sign might as well take it.

JJ didn't even hesitate to put a hand on her nape and pull her closer spinning so she leaned against the wheel, her eyes fluttered shut and wrapped an arm around his neck pulling him down so she could land back on the balls of her feet as her heart skipped yet another beat, her pulse drumming with each passing second.

The world around them seemed to vanish, the only sound left was the gentle splash of the water against the boat, the waves mirroring the rhythm of their kiss—soft, tentative at first, then JJ parted her lips with his own, deepening the kiss as if they were drawn into each other by some magnetic force.

JJ's fingers adorned by rings right on her nape and moving to hold her as he stepped closer to tower over her causing her to use her arm and pull him closer, parting her lips.

"oh shit-" someone breathed out causing her to freeze, JJ pulled away and looked back, there stood Pope, he gave them finger guns and left in a hurry.

"Uhm, well that was," started Y/N lips rosy thanks to him, "great," she shook her head turning to the wheel and tried not to smile like an idiot, "you should go see him."

"yeah I should- this shithead-" he said in frustration before turning to Y/N, "I'm not done with you, Stargirl."

"yeah I'm sure, fuck off, Starboy," she flipped him off. Yeah she'll be damned if she regrets it just because Pope stepped in, not he will never make out with Cleo? she will bet a hundred dollars once in outer banks, he damn will.

****

Author note: guess what bitches? I got my computer back, feeding you hoes with JJ, my beloved husband, oh and I still haven't watched season 4 so I beg don't spoil. I hope you enjoyed it my lovely babies<333333 Thank you so much for the likes on every single thing I wrote, I appreciate it so much, miss you all and let me know what you think.

There will be a Part 3, just currently focusing more on my book so, but I'll make sure you guys got it!

special hashtag to these pookies (who likely hate my ass for not posting in so long, sorry homies don't burn my house<3): @loves0phelia , @nirvanalivesdilfs , @thekidscallmebosss , @@ladyinbl00d , @talyaaas-blog

ly.

[clowndragonhonkhonk]

⊹ ࣪ ˖ Romantic Headcanons ˖ ࣪⊹

Just some nonsensical ramblings about some of my favourite characters and otherwise underappreciated characters (that I also love.)

➲ 𝐏𝐨𝐦𝐧𝐢, Ragatha, Zooble, Gangle, Princess Loolilalu + Reader (Separately)

➲ Romantic ☒, Platonic ☐

➲ 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 Count; 5,298 Words

➲ Warnings/notes; Gender neutral reader, Ragatha's is purely self-indulgent, enby Zooble, more story-focused in Zooble's part, Gangle is a weeb, Ragatha is a girlfail, Princess Loolilalu is much taller in my mind than in the show, tiny bit of angst in Zooble's part, everything else is extremely fluffy

𝐏𝐨𝐦𝐧𝐢

✪ You are only anchor of sanity in this world, at all

✪ To be honest, Pomni probably didn't even notice you until the very end of episode one, which is fair considering everything she went through

✪ You or Ragatha were the one who probably snapped her out of her little episode at the feast. Like, Ragatha was the one who noticed and cared first, but you were the one who shook her out of her little stupour

✪ And that was how you introduced yourself to Pomni. Which totally freaked her out how she managed to miss an entire person when she first spawned into the cirucs, but you also just jumpscared her by appearing out of nowhere

✪ Despite that, you were still a part of the group she somewhat trusted - The group that she could imagine catching her when she fell in her nightmare

✪ You probably had some quirk to you like everyone else, but at least you weren't up in her face being an asshole like Jax or babying her more than she really cared for like Ragatha. You were some lukewarm mix in the middle that could joke around by still made sure she didn't go spiralling in the middle of nowhere

✪ Which she did appreciate, but she just had a lot of stuff on her mind

✪ I feel like if you were the one to comfort her about the whole Gummigoo incident, that would immediately make you feel much more safe to her

✪ Like, you didn't berate her or give her sympathy she didn't really want. You just let her vent and talk about how he deserved better, giving her a much needed outlet. And she would be so grateful for it, even if she had a really hard time showing so

✪ After that, she would follow you around if she was ever forced to leave her room, almost like an anxious cat with attatchment issues. You just felt like the most sane person here that she could somewhat rely on and who would answer her questions with no hassle

✪ Pomni doesn't necessarily want to get attatched to anyone, considering there's a tiny part of her who still thinks this is a dream and she really doesn't want to wake up only to realise you and anyone else she befriended just never existed, but on the other hand it's really lonely walking around the circus looking for an exit

✪ You don't strictly believe there is an exit, but you don't bring it up at least. Pomni can work with that, as long as you just join her. Last time she went out on her own she ended up in the void and that's kind've the last thing she wants

✪ Touch-aversed but also touch-starved. She hates the idea of being restricted and hugged and doted on because she's so small and anxious and doesn't want to feel trapped, but she also can't remember the last time she just felt appreciated

✪ Maybe just let her hold your hand or something if she feels like it. I can also see Pomni being the type of person who just needs something to fidget with when she gets nervous, and sometimes she plays with her fingers or the buttons on her outfit, but on those days when she's feeling extra icky maybe she'd just like to tug on your sleeve or something

✪ Anyway, skipping forward to when the two of you actually end up together (it involved Pomni being so obvious but just so girlfail about everything it took Caine threatening to get involved for her to pluck up the courage. Of course, you were the only one who didn't realise she had a crush on you)

✪ Yeah, you're still her safe person that she clings to. The one that makes her purr or her pupils twist into silly little hearts

✪ In return, you now have an attack dog girlfriend. Jax found out the hard way you don't want to deal with a pissed of Pomni who would do nothing for herself but everything for her partner

✪ Sometimes her circus themed room makes her feel sick, so she'll wander over to your room in the dead of night (otherwise known as your designated sleeping hours), looking like the very epitome of 'I frew up' as she just stands awkwardly at your door

✪ Little jester likes it when you sleep half on top of her, even if you are bigger than her. You're like a warm, weighted blanket that makes the nightmares not as bad. But she also makes it that much harder to get up in the morning when she clings to you (she may not be incredibly strong, but she is incredibly stretchy and that somehow makes up for it)

✪ After a while of being in the circus, when the exit isn't at the forefront of her mind, I can see her trying to seem cool in front of you. This is when her inner girlfail comes out

✪ She tries to seem cool as you're walking past. Tries to lean on nothing and falls over like a little idiot (please give her a kiss on the forehead it would make her feel like less of a fool)

✪ I think at some point she'd also try and lift you up in a princess cary. Key word being 'try' because she has no strength. Turns out her stretchiness doesn't make up for her lack of strength after all. She's trying her best though

✪ Please give her cute little nicknames. I can't imagine she's the biggest fan of her name considering she got it from an oversized slot machine, so getting a little personalised spin on it from you would make her feel all melty and flustered

✪ Oversized lap cat Pomni

✪ She tries her absolute hardest to give back to the relationship - Late at night when the two of you are falling asleep together, I imagine she'd quietly talk to you, even if you're already asleep. She'd talk about the future the two of you could have once you'd escape this living nightmare, about the apartment you could share and all the plcaes you could go and the things you could do together

✪ She would never give up looking for an exit, but unlike Kaufmo, she has you so giving up is the furthest thing from her mind at this point

𝐑𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐚

⚉ Absolutely 100% sweetest person you've ever met and will ever meet. Heart of gold, perfect little rag doll and I absolutely love her and please be kind to her she so deserves it and I think she just needs a hug

⚉ Treats you how she treats Pomni (that is if you joined the circus after her). Probably babies you until she feels that you can somewhat stand on your own after acclimating to the digital world. That doesn't stop her from keeping a very close eye on you for a while after, especially if your first few cycles or so are rougher than others

⚉ For a little bit afterwards Ragatha does feel a little lonely. She's gotten used to hovering around you and having you nearby, so she definitely wouldn't say no to you wanting to stick around as her friend (she'd really appreciate it actually, especially if you just ask her how she's doing. She'll still lie and say fine, but it's the thought that touches her metaphorical heart)

⚉ It's difficult to tell when Ragatha first grows a crush on you. Not only does she keep it hidden at first, her usual peppy, smiley and friendly nature means she can be close to you without it seeming out of the norm with her

⚉ As her crush gets bigger, though... Then it becomes much harder for her to keep it under wraps

⚉ If she's not careful, she finds her face becoming just a tad too soft with a love-struck smile, and if she's really in deep a little halo of hearts floats around her head. That parts she hates, because it's way too obvious for her liking

⚉ But Ragatha can't keep it together forever. She's got too much on her plate already as the circus's residential 'glue that keeps everything together' that the mental strain of keeping her romantic feelings hidden is just not something she wants to deal with, so I feel she'd spill the beans rather quickly after catching feelings

⚉ Even if you don't end up reciprocating, she reasons she could deal with it. It wouldn't be the first heartache she would go through, and what's one more to add to the everygrowing pile

⚉ Lucky for her though, you do end up accepting and she finds herself absolutely over the moon

⚉ Definitely one for physical touch - She absolutely loves to just hold you tightly in her arms like you're the ragdoll in the relationship. It's totally not her trying to ground herself in reality to keep herself from breaking down (not fully at least)

⚉ I am firmly in the camp that Ragatha is a girlfail at heart

⚉ Like, her throughout the entirety of episode 2 was just her being a girlfail and I for one am absolutely living for it

⚉ Reasonably, she's still put together, smart and able to hold her own if she really wants to, but whenever it involves you her heart turns to mush and she just finds herself stumbling over her words and fumbling absolutely anything

⚉ It's adorable to watch, though

⚉ I've seen this somewhere before, but, she just has a bright red heart embroidered right where her heart would be in real life? And it's so pretty, like, almost like a tattoo? Just, imagine cuddling snuggly together after another arduous adventure and you just gently trace the shape of the heart and I think she would just melt at the affection? That right there would be the shit that keeps her from going insane in this hellhole

⚉ The same goes for if you like to trace the invisible seams of her stitching. Ragatha just loves the fact you love her despite the fact that her digital avatar is literally just a Raggedy Anne doll

⚉ Backtracking a bit, but if you were the one to confess before she could, I think the girlfail in her would be increased by about fifty percent

⚉ She is stumbling over her words, fidgeting with her woollen hair as her one good eye darts all over the place as those little hearts start spinning around her head. Ragatha starts scuffing her plush shoes against the floor, swaying back and forth and swinging her arms nervously as she finally manages to just say something along the lines of 'oh, yeah! Yeah, I like you too!'

⚉ I just think she gives really nice hugs

⚉ Like, I imagine Ragatha's decently strong (or I like to at least, because I would love it if she was somewhat buff when she was a human). I mean, she can certainly wield a butcher's knife decently well, as shown by her character trailer

⚉ And all of that strength translates into really nice, warm hugs that make you feel safe

⚉ Of course, if you don't like touch she wouldn't push it. I can imagine she'd still want to hug you every chance she got, but she would definitely put you before herself

⚉ Besides, I don't think Ragatha has a specific love language. She's happy to express her affection in any way possible

⚉ The two of you hanging out in her room with her either playing the piano or teaching you how to sew? Absolutely loves it because any time spent with you is far better than getting harassed by Jax on an adventure

⚉ Hearing you so verbally love her? It'll get her stumbling all over the place, and the rest of the day cycle she'll have this sort've happy dumb smile on her face

⚉ Even just wearing similar clothes as her (if possible, because, y'know, digital circus logic) will make her feel all fuzzy inside. For example, if you were a blue ribbon similar to her at all, I think that would just make her feel so neat

⚉ At some point she 100% gifts you a small bouquet of paper daisies for good luck (or just one really big paper daisy that you can carry with you), and also because real flowers don't really exist in the digital world. The paper daisies turned out to be much more durable, too

⚉ I'm just so 'kicks feet and twirls hair' about her

𝐙𝐨𝐨𝐛𝐥𝐞

𖦹 Y'know, between the antisocial personality, the short-ish temper and them never going on adventures, it would honestly take forever for a relationship to form between you (even just a platonic one)

𖦹 I feel like Zooble's stance on relationships in the digital world is probably zilch - They don't want to have anything with anyone because there's always the chance of abstraction or, if you ever find an exit, never seeing you again afterwards. As stoic as they seem, I feel like it would kill them inside having the thought that you could've moved on without ever seeing them again

𖦹 Because underneath that 'I don't give a shit exterior', there is a person who actually does give a shit about quite a few things, and it scares them when all of that could disappear within an instant

𖦹 Anyway, friendship comes before anything romantic, and it stays like that for a while. It honestly snuck up on Zooble, which genuinely surprised them. It was like, one day you were just chilling quietly in their room with them, probably doing your own thing but just existing in the same space as them, and it hits Zooble over their triangle-shaped head

𖦹 'Wow. I'm attatched to this person. Shit.'

𖦹 And that certainly was a shock to the system

𖦹 A part of them wanted to withdraw themselves as a defense mechanism, but they just find themselves getting increasingly lonlier and lonelier and more and more guilty about how sad you look when you think no one is looking

𖦹 And so that doesn't last very long.

𖦹 Their apology was short, but it was probably the most you'd ever heard them speak without being interrupted or pissed off by Jax

𖦹 And then you sort've went back to how you usually were, which mostly just consisted of the two of you wandering around the circus tent together while everyone else was out. It was a nice break, considering Caine didn't tend to bother you during these times, and there were some genuinely interesting places hidden around the main hub

𖦹 (Cue you trying to wrestle Zooble's head back from a stray gloink that hadn't been snapped out of existance. Not a very fun experience, especially when you kept snagging your fingers one Zooble's antennae)

𖦹 Neither of you really know who got feelings first, but it would probably have to be you who ultimately confesses. Zooble's already way out of their depth with this whole 'romantic feelings for your only friend in a digital hellscape' shtick going on, so chances are they're not gonna say anything in fear that it might drive a wedge between the two of you if you don't return their feelings

𖦹 But, y'know, maybe if something really bad happened, perhaps something to do with an abstraction like Kaufmo (depending on when you joined the circus), that might freak them out enough to say something

𖦹 For instance, they peek their head out of their room after hearing some strange noises lurking around outside that have them somewhat concerned, only to find the dorm hallway in absolute ruins

𖦹 So, not good. They brave the unknown and start wandering around just looking for the others. Chances are it was just another one of Jax's pranks that got out of control, but they hadn't seen you in particular for a while which was unusual (they dreaded to think about the fact they were getting a bit too used to your company)

𖦹 And then they hear a noise that makes their very being turn cold. A general static hissing along with the very panicked voices of their fellow hellscape attendees

𖦹 They hobble over, only to be met with the sight of Ragatha and Gangle trying desperately to lure away an abstracted circus member

𖦹 That was already terrifying enough, but to see you being cornered, form already glitching out with tears spilling down your face

𖦹 Yeah, they don't hesitate and grab the nearest thing that wasn't fixed to their floor (probably an oversized alphabet block or something) and chuck it with all their might. It wasn't the easiest thing to do with one rubberhose hand and one crab claw, but by god did they do it and did it land with an almighty thwack

𖦹 For a split second, Zooble might consider throwing down with this bastard, until they remember it's like four times their size and could easily kill them

𖦹 (Caine finally showed up at this point, and that was the end of that whole fiasco)

𖦹 Zooble wobbled their way over to where you were still curled up against the floor. Ragatha was trying her best to calm you down, but it was Zooble's prescense that got you off the floor at least

𖦹 This moment was an exception to their 'limited touching' rule, because it was downright traumatic being cornered by a monster that you once knew as a friend. They didn't exactly hate the way you remained huddled up next to them for the rest of the night cycle in their room

𖦹 Zooble probably would've said something not long after - Not so much a stereotypical confession, but more like casual 'hey, I like you and I really care about you more than friends probably should and I just wanted you to know'

𖦹 If not, that event would've sparked you to say something a few 'days' later

𖦹 Either way, from that moment on, you two are somehow closer than before.

𖦹 Very chill and laid back, almost hands off with their emotions. They do soften up around you, but only ever around you. Sort've like what we see at the end of episode two when they're more emotional about Kaufmo's funeral

𖦹 You eventually find out that their antennae wiggle not only when they're pissed off or when their limbs for the day are put in the wrong spot, but they also wiggle when they're happy. Kind've like an abstract form of them blushing

𖦹 Which was very embarrassing for them, but a priceless memory for you. And it's also not something they can hide without looking really suspicious

𖦹 Aside from personal time with each other, every now and then Zooble might accept some physical touch. They weren't the biggest fan of it back when they were a human, and now that their body looks like it does there's just something about it that makes them hate physical touch even more

𖦹 But even they can't deny that the rare kiss between their eyes does feel nice whenever they feel like shit

𝐆𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐞

🎭 Oh wow, this poor baby is mask over ribbons for you, hands down. 100% smitten and nothing could convince me otherwise

🎭 Follows you around like a lost puppy, no matter the mask on her face. Although, her happy mask usually means she tailing you around for fun, probably because you're on an adventure or because she just wants to hang out. With her sad mask, though, it's probably because she just wants to be around you because your prescence makes the saddness a little more tolerable

🎭 Also, you're pretty much the only person she trusts to handle her masks properly, but even then it's only to get them back to her room or to Caine to fix them.

🎭 Please give Jax a kick or a smack or something. Gangle might not generally like violence, but Jax's had it far too good for too long and she's really sick of being bullied

🎭 Gangle with a partner who becomes her bodyguard against anything (especially Jax) has the same vibe as 'big & beautiful + shrimp' or, if it's more your cup of tea - 'Sir, she's asked for no pickles'

🎭 Obligatory anime nerd Gangle

🎭 Any cheesy romance anime absolutely influenced her reaction to realising her feelings toward you. Like, she would act shy, but in a different more exagerated way and only ever around you, and I think she would just kind've expect you to understand? (She doesn't know any better, just please be patient with her)

🎭 And I think that would just be with her sad mask. With her happy mask, she's probably whipping out words like 'kawaii' and shit. Cringe Gangle is very real and we (or at least I) love her for it

🎭 I think being in the circus would also mean her actions would have sound effects accompanying them. Like, she could smile at you with the :3 face and a little 'squeeb' sound effect would play with perfect timing and it would mortify the both of you

🎭 (Caine is just trying his best to be a wingman)

🎭 Dating Gangle is kind've like dating two people, or maybe one and a half. The shift in personality and tempo between her happy mask and sad mask is definitely noticeable enough for her to almost be considered two people, but there's still something about her that is so undeniably Gangle that it links those two emotion together

🎭 Happy Gangle is like a whirlwind. She's so peppy and bright and energetic that she's almost like a puppy. She can never sit still and her ribbons are flailing around happily whenever she sees you

🎭 It's these moments when she's most happy to accompany you on an adventure - She's probably the most excited about the new adventure out of all of you anyway, but just having her by your side like this can make the whole experience ten times better (especially considering what the adventure is)

🎭 PDA is no problem for happy Gangle. In fact, if she's clinging off you, chances are Jax is going to want none of that and will leave her alone, which means she can be happier for longer, which is certainly a win in her book. Plus, it means she has the confidence to give you all the love she thinks you deserve.

🎭 Sad Gangle on the other hand is much more shy and reserved. Not necessarily bad, but a much more mellow version of happy Gangle. Around you, she's not a sad wet pile of ribbons, but she isn't bouncing off of the walls with happiness either

🎭 She more likely to just want to huddle up in her room with you, buried under her mess of blankets. It's the one good thing about her room, the nice big bed and access to the countless bootleg animes Caine has made specifically for her

🎭 A lot of people say that because she's made of ribbons, Gangle is extremely light with little to no bodily weight. And that makes sense, at least in reality. I would like to propose the idea that Gangle's body has the same weight her human body was, just in the form of ribbons

🎭 It's a little confusing, but much like the rest of the digital world, it's something you get used to with time. It's almost soothing when she just wraps herself around you like an odd weighted blanket, although her mask is a little cold

🎭 Speaking of, kisses with Gangle are a little odd

🎭 Unlike the other characters who have odd face/mouth shapes, Gangle's face isn't pliable enough to properly move and give you a kiss, so she usually resorts to gentle affection headbutts like a cat (which in some ways, she actually prefers)

🎭 She still does love to receive little kisses every now and then though, just not in excess. Probably one to prefer hugging over kissing, at least in the digital world. Her body makes her feel uncomfortable at times, being almost completely flat, and I think she would much prefer to wrap around you to gain some semblance of a bodily shape

🎭 Sticking this here because I don't know where else it would fit, but posing for Gangle's drawings

🎭 As an artist myself, Gangle would aboslutely be grateful to have someone around who'd be willing to do the occaisional pose for her drawing, especially if she was trying to drift from her early 2000s anime style into a more realistic one (or even if she was just gesture doodling for fun)

🎭 Even if you're not comfortable enough to pose for her drawing, she 100% draws inspo from you for her art more often than she is willing to admit. No, those fanfics and fanart are definitely not based on your and her, why do you ask?

🎭 Caine forbid that Jax ever finds her hidden stash of fanart and writings

𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐋𝐨𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐥𝐚𝐥𝐮

🍬 Okay, so if you're dating Princess Loolilalu, chances are you're also probably an npc like everyone else in the Candy Canyon Kingdom. You could be there to help with the heist quest, or maybe Caine planted you there with the intentions of giving you a quest in the future

🍬 All everyone knows is that you and the Princess are very sweet. Like, sickeningly sweet - Cavity giving sweet. Jax probably pretended to throw up when he saw you (or he actually threw up, depends on how committed to the bit he is)

🍬 Which, it makes sense, seeing as you're living in a literal kingdom made of Candy, it only made sense that the people who lived in it were as sweet as their home

🍬 That being said, you two can still go a little overboard sometimes

🍬 Not really either of you faults, Loolilalu is just a very affectionate and soft person (or ai, if you want to get technical), and that's certainly doubly so when it comes to her most beloved

🍬 Chances are, the almost overwhelmingly sweet and sugary vanilla and strawberry syrup scent that she emits also clings to you. You could read this as her being very clingy and loving, wanting to constantly touch or hug you whenever she can, or you could read this as just being in her prescence for an extended amount of time does the same thing

🍬 Either way, Loolilalu smells very sweet, and, by extention, so do you (even if you already smelled sweet as a candy npc)

🍬 Not much to say about an npc/npc relationship. Y'all are just coded to be very wholesome together

🍬 However, if you were a human player character, things suddenly get much more complicated and much, much more angsty

🍬 The most likely scenario is a very much one-sided unrequited love situation. If only for the fact that the npcs don't retain any memories from previous adventures, and therefore can't grow feelings for a non-npc character

🍬 But Caine also probably steps in the minute he feels than an npc is getting a bit too immersive for his liking

🍬 However, let's just say for simplicities sake, that somehow Loolilalu's ai developed into a similar ai to Caine - That is to say, above the coding.

🍬 She now has complete control over the Candy Canyon Kingdom map, though she's nowhere near as powerful as Caine and therefore still has to hide herself in some way

🍬 100% The two of you met through one of Caine' wacky adventures, and this was way before her ai had 'grew out of control' to say.

🍬 With her memories as addled as they were from the constant wiping, she probably doesn't really remember the first time you met at all. Maybe some fuzzy pieces she could put back together, but otherwise most of her early memories of you and the rest of the circus are incredibly vague

🍬 And because of this, the most likely scenario is that you develop feelings first, and because of this you always looked forward to the Candyland adventures more than any other ideas Caine comes up with (unlike a certain jester). And seeing someone so invested in his little wacky ideas, Caine probably brings you and the rest of the group back to the specific map more and more often

🍬 Repeated exposure apparently snapped Loolilalu out of her ai trance, and as soon as she started remembering more and more details as well as preventing the map from properly closing after Caine deemed the adventures done, the relationship between the two of you blossomed not long after

🍬 After a hostage situation gone out of control ended up with a chase through the rocky roads, you decided to stay back in the kingdom to nurse the growing ache in your body as a result of a strange candy cane (thanks for that, Jax), Loolilalu approached you

🍬 Probably because she was now sentient and everyone else was a faceless mannequin, but also because she just thought you were cute (and maybe because you seemed a little more mellow than you cohorts, and potentially more open to answering any of her questions.)

🍬 One thing lead to another, and now you're dating a candy kingdom ruler npc

🍬 As a partner, she's very similar to how she would be toward you if you were an npc

🍬 Maybe a tad bit clingier, to be honest. She can't really help it, not when you're away for extended periods of time, leaving her alone in a world with no one but very repetative mannequins to talk to

🍬 All she wants to do is sweep you off your feet and never let you go (and probably carry you around as she goes about her day because damn this woman is tall-)

🍬 There's another part of her that also wants to absolutely pepper you in sweet kisses. However, after one run in with some very red and very stubbourn lipstick (that almost got you in trouble once with Caine), she decidedly tones it down as much as possible

🍬 However, there's certainly probably no repercussions if you decided to give her a little smooch (or a lot of smooches perhaps? Please?) She'd absolutely melt if you gave her a little peck on her gloved hand

🍬 (You totally don't do it because it's pretty much the only place you can reach by yourself)

🍬 And despite the very dainty princess appearance she has, if she gets the chance, Loolilalu will 100% take you horse riding on one of those gummy elephants. They're not too fast, but by golly was the one rocky ride (she totally planned this. She wanted you to hold on to her like you were in a romcom)

🍬 She restrains herself until she's pretty sure you're alone, because she'd rather not let any mention of your relationship somehow get back to Caine.

🍬 I like to think that everyone else in the circus (besides Caine and Bubble) know about your relationship, and for the most part, they're all supportive (can't deny Pomni would probably be a little salty that you get to date the princess but she couldn't even keep her gummy friend). Jax has contemplated letting something slip, but honestly? He hates Caine more than he dislikes you, so for now his lips are sealed

I think my ittby bitty crush on Princess Loolilalu was almost certainly influenced by my crush on Princess Bubblegum when I was younger.

Pink divider by animatedglittergraphics-n-more

Masterlist, Rules & Info,

[nibbelraz]

Pregnant Qijiu AU, HAPPY HEADCANONS.

1.After giving birth to Shen Yuan and Ning YingYing, SJ finds himself sleeping in YQYs room quite often. He finds it comforting but he tells Yue Qingyuan that he's "worried about Ying'er and Yuan'er and wants to make sure they're getting along."

2.He also baby proofed the entire sect. Like he personally went to every Peak to find things that might be dangerous for infants and had An Ding Peak baby proof EVERYTHING.

3. The Peak Lords really enjoy baby sitting Qijius children, but because of SJs trust issues he's always closely watching his sect siblings with a death glare when he(very rarely)passes his children over.

4. Despite SQQs aversion to touch he enjoys skin to skin contact with his children.

He has to completely destroy Bai Zhan peak there's no way he can baby proof that, but boy will he try. Actually, on that note, I like to think Liu Qingge is pretty good with babies having help raised his little sister, it's when they get older that he wants to fight them.

Ahh that's so cute though!!! Shen Jiu shoved his face into his Qi-gi's chest as they sleep. Them taking turns to care for the babies at night. Resting. Being near each other. Mu Qingfang loves the babies so much Shen Jiu is comfortable with him holding them more than the other Peak Lords. Yue Qingyuan is always beaming with happiness seeing his Xiao jiu and children around the peaks, he's literally dreamed of this aaaaa SO CUTE

[the-badger-mole]

Rumor Has It...

Being in the public eye was...grating. Katara thought that growing up in a small village, where everyone knew everyone's business would have inured her to the self-consciousness of having everyone talking about her and her business, but it didn't take long for her to learn that there was a difference between people who knew and loved her talking about her and strangers who were just hungry for gossip doing it. It was even worse when she was dating a man (and she used the term very loosely in her less charitable moods) who understood discretion even less than he understood his girlfriend's boundaries.

She had quickly learned to hate the cameras that were so popular in the Fire Nation and the Earth Kingdom. It made it harder for her to ignore what Aang was doing. Not that he was cheating on her. Of course he would never do that to his Forever Girl. But to see pictures of him with his fans hanging on his arm, gazing up adoringly at him, smiling proudly at the cameras when the reporters caught them coming out of some Air Nomad symposium or other. When Katara told him how much she hated the pictures, Aang would just shrug and say, "Well, it's not like I'm kissing them or anything!"

It was always somehow Katara's insecurities and mistrust that was the issue, and not him entertaining these young women who were plainly throwing themselves at him. When Katara asked him to set boundaries with them, he would scoff and blame her repressive upbringing in the barbaric Southern Water Tribe. The Air Nomads were more evolved about friendships between men and women. As if he would know, Katara fumed to herself silently. He was 12 when his education came to an abrupt end, and he had spent his entire life to that point in a sexually segregated monastery. When she told him how much the rumors bothered her, he regarded her with pity. If she was with him, he told her, to take her place on his arm, there wouldn't be any need for her to worry about the girls who'd taken her place. A slap in the face.

Katara did her best to ignore the rumors, even after they grew teeth. Even after they developed venom potent enough to kill. Because Aang wouldn't do that. Not sweet, innocent, literally couldn't harm the most evil man on the planet Aang. When he told her to take her place on his arm, he hadn't meant to imply that she should give up on her own ambitions to travel the world as the Avatar's Girlfriend. He knew how important it was for her to be home to prevent the Northern Tribe immigrants from getting too much of their own way. How important it was for her to reintroduce Southern style waterbending. So when the newspapers- which were always a week old by the time they made their way to the Southern Watertribe- began to report on growing rumors that the Avatar was known to have spent long nights sharing his culture with this woman or that, Katara clung to what she knew of him. The pictures didn't matter. There were any number of reasons for Aang to be emerging from his hotel with women who weren't her touching him knowingly. The pitying looks from the people who'd known and loved her her entire life and the insinuating whispers from the newcomers from the Northern Tribe didn't either. She wasn't stupid. Aang could be trusted...right?

Hakoda knew his daughter needed a distraction. The school was getting to the point that her constant presence wasn't needed, and he knew Katara could use a new challenge. He conferred with Sokka, who reached out to their friends, and a solution was reached. A diplomatic visit to the Fire Nation. Sokka and Suki would accompany her. The fact that it would take place during the summer court recess was not worth discussing. Zuko would be happy to host. Aang would be invited, too. His aversion to visiting the Southern Water Tribe had long been a sour point between him and Katara, but he could have no issues meeting his girlfriend on neutral ground, where he wouldn't accidentally come into contact with animal byproduct. He still hadn't given Katara a direct answer by the time she disembarked in Caldera. The paper was timely there. The day after she arrived, Katara read about the opening of an Air Nomad museum in the nascent Republic City. The woman on his arm in that paper was a petite, doll like creature with pouting lips and wide eyes that may have been grey or hazel. It was impossible to tell in the black and white photo.

"I had a trip planned to Ember Island," Zuko said over breakfast. It was just the two of them. Sokka and Suki were still in their room, and Iroh had plans with Piando and Jeong Jeong. Katara set the crumpled paper aside and smirked at him.

"And what bit of diplomacy are we expected to perform there?" she asked. Zuko coughed on the sip of tea he'd taken. He had at least the grace to look sheepish as he cleaned himself up.

"I guess I should have timed this better," he said. "I just wanted to show the world that the ties between the Fire Nation and the Southern Water Tribe were as strong as ever, but maybe I should have waited to the end of summer, when we returned to court."

"I don't know," Katara said, trying and failing to hold back a smile. "It's been three months since you visited us down south, and eight since the last time you had us visit. People were probably starting to think we'd fallen out."

"Yes, well..." Zuko mumbled. His face was tinged pink. "I did have another reason to invite you."

"Oh?" Katara raised an eyebrow at him. "And that would be?"

"I need help," he said. "I have some initiatives I want to introduce to the Fire Nation. Costly ones, like universal healthcare and education reform."

"Sounds serious," Katara said. "How can I help you?"

"Your father has told me how many of your ideas he's used to build up the Southern Tribe. That you were able to make room in the budget, even where there was literally no money for it. I'd like you to help me do that here."

Katara sat stunned for a moment. The hopeful look on Zuko's face was almost too painful to look at.

"The Southern Tribe is much smaller than the Fire Nation," she reminded him. "I was able to get creative because a lot of people were willing to volunteer to get some of my projects off the ground."

"You'll be working with a bigger budget," Zuko promised. "And with a team. You can pick whoever you'd like. Of course, I wouldn't expect you to do everything. If you could only help me get one of my initiatives off the ground, I'd be in your debt forever."

There was a long beat. Katara sat impassively, thinking quietly. After a moment, she smiled.

"No," she said, "you wouldn't be. I'd be happy to help you." Relief bled the tension out of Zuko's shoulders and he grinned at her.

"You'll have to be here a while," he said. "A few months at least."

"It's a good thing I like my room," Katara shrugged.

"You have no idea how much help you're giving me," Zuko insisted. "Consider the palace your home. You can invite Aang or- What's wrong?" Zuko's voice was suddenly panicked when he saw how stricken Katara looked. Her face had gone ashen and she clutched the table, doubled over as if she'd just been delt a blow. Zuko hesitated only long enough to see the first tear fall down her cheek before he was at her side and holding her as she cried.

Katara managed to gather herself in a few minutes. Enough that she could sit up and pass Zuko that morning's paper. His face fell when he saw the photo of Aang and the caption named as Himari. She had both arms wound possessively around Aang's, and he leaned into her, grinning, as if they were sharing an especially hilarious private joke. the blurb beneath the picture was a short, but piercing, speculating about the young Avatar's current relationship status and wondering where the Avatar's Girlfriend had been the last year.

"This...this is just-" Zuko scrambled for anything comforting to say. Katara turned her mournful eyes on him and shook her head.

"This is just the latest," she said, her voice cracking slightly. "He doesn't care if I see him."

"Katara-" Zuko's hand slipped into hers and he squeezed it tightly. Katara took in a deep, shuddering breath.

"It's okay," she lied. "I think I've known we were over for a while. I just wish he'd be a man about it and tell me to my face."

Zuko was silent for a long moment. It took all of Iroh's lessons in self control to keep his anger from spewing out like erupting lava. He ran his thumb over Katara's knuckles distractedly.

"What do you say we get Toph and crash at the summer house?" he suggested. "No newspapers, no work. Just us being lazy on the beach and pretending the rest of the world doesn't exist?"

Katara smiled weakly at him.

"I'd like that."

[utilitycaster]

It's become stunningly clear with this most recent episode that Imogen and Laudna's insularity, mistrust of everyone else in the party, and refusal to take responsibility for their actions is at the heart of the disconnect and lack of bonding within Bells Hells. It is not the only reason - I think Orym's constant smoothing over of issues in the interest of forward motion has certainly exacerbated the situation - but it's a significant and unavoidable factor. I'm hoping that while the actual exercises of the team-building probably won't themselves fix the issues this party has, addressing the various secrets that are now out, specifically the ones that touch on issues that affect the functioning and dynamics of the entire group, actually might.

As this post notes, their unwillingness to question each other or develop any conflict resolution with each other means they tend to, even if unwittingly, dogpile the rest of the group by acting as a singular voice. In a small conflict-averse group, this tends to constantly overwhelm the conversation. This is worsened by Imogen's psychic abilities, which permit her to glean information about the others without the need to have a conversation; it means the others in the party frequently start with two votes against them before they've even said anything.

They also both suffer from a pretty profound lack of boundaries. Again, Imogen's psychic abilities are invasive, frequently unwelcome, and often lead her to both jump to conclusions and to police the behaviors of others without considering their actions nor giving them any chance to have a full conversation. It also means she controls what information the rest of the party knows, as her interpretation of someone else's mental state is the only thing they're given when she reads someone's mind. Laudna, meanwhile, is extremely quick to trust, while also taking any deception as profound betrayal. As a result, they both tend to take a hot-or-cold approach to the others in the party based on the other person's most recent thought or action. They are prone to black-and-white thinking and snap judgments, which, as the next paragraph indicates, has serious ramifications.

Imogen and Laudna are terrible about actually talking to people and getting anything out in the open. This includes each other; again, see their frequent unquestioning support or the claim that their relationship defies words (which it does not; as of last episode this has culminated in Imogen revealing that, in fact, she is disgusted by a fundamental reality of their relationship, which is absolutely not something that can be addressed without a pretty intense conversation.) We also see this in how they've taken Fearne's choice not to take the shard. While, arguably, they had heard Fearne express her concerns about the shard to Morri by the time of the honesty exercise (which would make their behavior even worse), even if they hadn't, that's two voices shaming her for without hearing her side of the story. It's in sharp contrast with Chetney, who also expresses his disappointment with Fearne in episode 3x78, but immediately follows it up by asking her why she didn't want it. Imogen and Laudna never take it upon themselves to ask her how she feels or why she made that choice and let her explain; they jump straight to judgement.

That failure to ask ties into the final element of why they are the weak point in Bells Hells' communication: they are just as guilty as Ashton of "violent projection of responsibility", but unlike Ashton have not realized the depth of this flaw and the consequences it has not just on their own life but on the others in the party. This is less of an issue with Imogen with regards to Bells Hells (in fact one might argue she takes far too much responsibility in that she apparently sees policing the party on the basis of their thoughts to be her duty, though I would note that unattuning the circlet leaves her, the person with the clearest ties to the Vanguard, vulnerable to the powers of others within the organization) and far more so with the gods, from whom she apparently expects instant gratification. However, this is at the core of Laudna. It's true that she is by no means the only powder keg within the party; Chetney and FCG's abilities are also dangerous. However, one must take into account that Laudna has been aware of Delilah's presence for, as she has repeatedly stated, over three decades now, and only now realized the implications thereof, whereas Chetney became a werewolf less than a year ago and immediately took steps to mitigate the threat he posed, and FCG only learned of their condition within the past few months. Like Chetney, she has learned to remove herself from situations in which she could pose an immediate threat, but that slow learning curve and lack of proactivity is not promising for the future. It's also true that, keeping all other circumstances identical, the impact of Laudna's loss of control is far more dangerous. If Chetney bites someone or FCG attacks, unless they kill someone, the damage and curse can be undone and the power within them is unchanged. The same is not true with regards to what happens if Delilah makes Laudna absorb a magical item or a soul.

While everyone in Bells Hells shares some responsibility for the current state of affairs, Imogen and Laudna are without a doubt the primary source of toxicity. I think the others have become aware that they are in an environment in which Imogen is likely to either shoot them down, read their minds nonconsensually, or make insensitive suggestions, and that Laudna will nod along next to her as she does. It does not feel coincidental that Fearne chose not to voice her concerns and that Ashton avoided the group conversation entirely. This again does not absolve Ashton or Fearne of their deception of the party, but it does explain why they might feel an honest conversation is impossible. Unpacking what was said during the Honesty exercise might finally allow Bells Hells to excise this rot and to begin a new era of group conversations in which everyone feels they can say what needs to be said without fear, but it will be an effort to be sure.

Because it's me, I think it's worth noting that the fandom emphasis on absolving Imogen and Laudna of any accountability (which I've spoken about at length and have had on my radar for a long time now) is obviously not the cause of this behavior in-game, but does echo it in interesting ways. I'm not sure I would have realized the extent to which they evade responsibility in-game without this mentality being so prominently in the fandom. It explains why they are never expected, by many fans, to even achieve as minor a task as "asking Fearne how she feels instead of letting their own feelings dominate what they think she should do", let alone set boundaries for each other. But ultimately, that is the key: I think the only way for this party to achieve the trust they need is through the assertion of those boundaries. When Bells Hells know that they have the freedom to disagree with each other without being accused, dogpiled, ignored, or told to get it together, only then will they be able to actually come to true consensus rather than the fragile and tenuous teamwork they have had so far.

[virtues-end]

It's funny to see people asking about how to get the Shea "kiss scene" because they didn't get access to it at all when I actually had the option on mine, but picked the other romance choice there. I mean, obviously not mocking people who didn't get it, it's just the parallels and differences between playthroughs that are funny to observe.

Even in a moment of confusion, my MC could never be SO bold. The touching was already more than he'd ever dare to do under normal circumstances. It's interesting though, because I did hesitate between these options for a moment, but then came to the conlusion that with my MC's personality, he probably - at least subconsciously - would fear Shea would hate him way too much if he kissed them. I mean, he trusts Shea, but this is still a bold thing to do - even the touching is - and while he doesn't have issues with his human OR his barghest form like other helvlings could nor does he find himself like "disgusting" or anything, he still doesn't think he truly deserves Shea I'd say. He HAS been told ever since he woke up that he is basically worth nothing after all, and that he is the one who brought what happened onto himself because of what he did before - and even if he doesn't remember it, he actually believes that and just feels awful in that regard.

I'm always endlessly fascinated (and curious!) hearing about people's playthroughs. Obviously, I'm pushing a certain narrative when it comes to the helvling, and how they might perceive themself... so I'm not surprised when people tell me that their helvling wouldn't initiate contact, or that they wouldn't act in a certain manner (flirting and the like), or that they might be repulsed or have an aversion to touch (which makes sense, given the character's history).

I try to account for all sorts of playstyles, which is why I often add options in which other characters take the lead (touching or kissing, or speaking for the MC, for example). And I also completely get it if a reader would be uncomfortable kissing or touching Shea in that scene (whatever the reason), which is why it is not at all 'required' for any future scenes with them.

[spinedotlazuli1120]

I missed the times when radioapple showed a very accurate version of Lucifer and Alastor's relationship as a couple.

An overpowered and emotionally unstable devil who can't control himself and a deer with extreme trust issues and an aversion of sex and touch

Toxic radioapple, poison apple if you will

[lefarte]

Hello, I wanted to ask you for some Headcanons of Levi nsfw and sfw 💕 (I love your content)

Ladies ladies (and others)……. There’s enough Levi for everyone

Thank you for the compliment anon 🫶🫶 I love you too

GN reader!

During the first few months he’s pretty touch-averse. He would sometimes test the waters by giving your hand a squeeze, but his trust issues are so high that he’s scared of initiating contact.

After a while he gets into cuddling and he will even carry you if you let him (yes, he’s small but he has a surprising amount of strength). His favorite cuddling position is spooning you like a plushie, he likes to feel like he’s giving you warmth and protection. He also likes the nape of your neck for some reason, he likes giving kisses there. He just thinks it’s nice.

One of his earliest happy memories was eating his mom’s cooking. He wants to make you food but every time he tries he messes it up horribly. I think he never got a chance to learn to cook on his own except for boiling water…

I think his mom also unfortunately didn’t leave behind any recipes, and if she did, they’re lost to time, so he would just… eyeball it. “Goulash has tomato, right? Maybe like…. Five?”

He wants to look out for you so he brings you a lot of sweet/chocolately foods from the store or saves the best part of foods for you. He tells you he ‘doesnt like this part’ which is not always true.

He likes to sit indoors and read with you. It’s his fun time, and ideally does it once a night before bed. You ask if he’s having fun and he goes “Yes… 😐”

Sometimes he just disappears and drives you crazy with worry, but you always find him somewhere ridiculous in the house like under your bed, in a closet, or in the pantry. It’s a habit he picked up from the war. “I had a headache… 😐”

NSFW BELOW 🔞🔞🔞 No minors below this point please!

The poor thing gets boners from just kissing. He’s always mortified no matter how many times it happens. It even happens in public sometimes.

He used to sneak dirty magazines in the orphanage when he was younger, so he’s always loved lingerie and pretty lacey underwear, and especially high heels. (Doesn’t matter if you’re a man, he still likes it).

He likes to see his partner dress up in pretty things in general, he likes the roleplaying aspect but he has trouble keeping a straight face and not getting flustered. Some of the stuff he likes are: nurse/doctor outfits, priest/nun outfits, teacher outfits… he likes the fantasy of someone in power praising him and showering him in affection. (And he likes to think about being punished too, but he’s frightened to go far with it.)

Whenever he masturbates, he cuddles up with his partner’s blanket or pillow or something that smells like them and just closes his eyes…

If you have tits, he’s obsessed with the softness of them… he likes squeezing them quite a lot, and pressing his face into them, and especially rubbing your nipples. It’s not even always sexual sometimes he just likes to rest his head there.

His preferences are whatever his partner’s are. He’s very inexperienced so you will need to help him through it. Because of the war and everything, he never really had time to explore that side of himself.

His ideal sex is just making his partner happy. He doesn’t care if he doesn’t finish. Usually he’s always scared of coming off as pushy and scaring you away.

This is a little sad but because of the heroin use his sex drive is very low and he struggles with feeling guilty. If he’s on heroin he can’t, well… finish, which leaves him… agitated. Like he’s a ‘bad partner’ for not being able to enjoy sex. Most of the sex would be happening AFTER he’s off the drugs.

[local-hellhound-steals-spaghetti]

I don't know if this is something you'll be able to answer, but it's something I've been wondering for decades and I think you have the knowledge necessary for it.

So I used to ride horses for around 10 years, and when I first started to ride when I was around 8, when a horse was being super stuborn and didn't want to move. The riding instructor said it was okay to kick the horses as hard as I could (while I was sitting in the saddle) to get them moving, that they would bearly feel it cause they were so big, and their skin was thicker than ours.

And as a kid I trusted the adult instructor, but as I got older, and the more I interacted with horses and learnt how sensitive they could be to touch, I started to wonder if that was really okay, or if the only reason the horses seemed chill about it was cause they were used to it or something?

oh I just remembered a second thing I was wondering about, that same ranch also had a super old horse, I think he was in his 30s when I stopped going, was allowed to just wander around the ranch once he was retired, which I always sorta wondered if that was okay you know? he never seemed interested in leaving the ranch even tho there was nothing stopping him, and the part where cars could go was extremely small and they never went that fast anyways so I don't see why it'd be a bad thing, but I just couldn't shake the feeling it wasn't okay you know?

(I know these questions aren't about marine animals or even zoo animals, but I hope its okay for me to ask anyways, feel free to ignore if you want obvs)

Hi there! I don't mind horse questions - I used to work with them a lot and used to have my own horse!

I understand that feeling so well - there were so many times where I felt pressured to use excessive force with horses. Even with my own horse, because I was at the mercy of people who I thought knew best.

That's why I left the horse industry to work in the zoo and marine mammal field - so I could learn how to correctly, effectively and ethically apply positive reinforcement based training methods.

The last time I had a riding lesson was about a year ago. I wanted to give it a try again because I missed horses and it had been going fine. But the last time I was there, I left in tears because they put me on a horse that seriously needed to be retrained from the ground - and not be a lesson horse because he clearly hated it. I was not about to bully the horse into submission for the sake of getting my money's worth. I refused to "ride through" this horse's learned behaviour of stopping at arena corners and running my leg into the side of the arena. He wasn't listening to leg aids or rein aids. People had been riding him so inconsistently that he didn't even know what those signals meant anymore.

That's when people often will get out the whips and spurs to escalate those "aids". Because if all you're using is negative reinforcement/positive punishment and the aversive isn't working, you have to make that aversive even more uncomfortable/painful and "make them do it!". That's where things start to get really nasty, that's when conflict behaviours come up like rearing, bucking, bolting.

This animal was stressed, I was frustrated. He wasn't in a state to learn, he needed a break. He needed a chance to relearn those skills and be taught how to enjoy being ridden again. I refused to get into a fight with this horse. That isn't how I train and it won't be how I ride, either.

But horse riding is so heavily aversive based that escalation of aversives is just standard practise in riding schools.

When you were asked to kick harder, you were being asked to escalate the pressure for a horse that probably had become desensitised to softer leg aids. Lesson horses put up with so much incosistency, it makes sense that they get so "dull" to the aids.

There's also the issue of learned helplessness. When animals (and people) are put in a situation that they can't escape from, they give up trying to do so. They just sort of... tune everything out and become dull to any sort of learning process. It's sad because a lot of horses that people say are "bombproof" are just in a state of learned helplessness.

Horses absolutely do feel those kicks and they do not actually have "thick skin". They have thinner skin and even more nerve endings in their skin than we do!

The escalating use of force for "stubborn" horses is a symptom of an outdated industry that's still stuck in eltist tradition and would rather put a piece of twisted wire into a horse's mouth and spurs on rider's boots than re-teach skills from the ground or use positive reinforcement (treats are so taboo with horse people - they way they react, you'd think you'd brought a weapon into the yard and not a bag of carrots lol)

As for the wandering around? It's not ideal, sure. There's a certain amount of complacency in just expecting a free roaming animal not to leave the area. I guess as long as they're not standing in traffic/being a hazard/getting hurt it's okay but definitely not how I would be keeping my animals.

Anyway that was kind of long winded but I hope that helped!

[thief-of-eggs]

I love the way you write Alastor and the way you write Luci. I know so many writers who maintain a very specific stereotype about aroace people, e.g. “Ew don’t touch me, you’re gross and I want to kill you because i would rather DIE then be touched” or “haha this character hates every single type of affection and is snarky because of it” and it’s just so icky to me… like yes some aroace people hate touch but they don’t hate other people, arocas people can have friends

yes alastor is snarky, it’s not because he’s aroace. he’s just a bitch (said with love) and his sexuality shouldn’t be used as his only personality trait,

idk if any of that rant made sense but I js wna say how much I appreciate the way you write and characterize Radioapple :3

Firstly- thank you so so much, this is so amazing to hear!!! It means a lot to me to have a canon aroace character, which is why I love diving into/embracing it in the fics I write!!

100% as you said, Alastor is a bitch because Alastor is a bitch, nothing to do with his sexuality. He’s a bit self centered, a bit harsh, a bit inconsiderate- but that’s just him and his sparkle. Not his sexuality.

And as for the hating touch- I wish more people understood how asexuality and aromanticism is a spectrum! It’s not a one size fits all! It’s huge!!!

Personally, I like to think that Alastor doesn’t particularly like touch due to past trauma, as well as sensory issues. I don’t think it’s all to do with his aromanticism (I think he’s more the type to be indifferent to romantic things, not repulsed by them) But I do think his touch aversion is real, just not stemming from his aroace identity.

And of course, I’m not in Alastor’s head (or Vivzie’s) but I like to think that touch is OK with Alastor, so long as it is on his terms- and I think “on his terms” includes those people whom he’s given either silent or spoken permission to in regards to touching him. Which is a huge difference from “I hate all forms of touch and I’ll kill you if you touch me”

We see with Mimzie and Rosie and Niffty that Alastor is OK with touch- he lets them initiate touch and he doesn’t bat an eye. Which is why I think so long as he’s comfortable with them, then touch is somewhat permitted. He may not feel the same sort of butterflies or attraction etc through touch- but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t enjoy it for what it brings to him!

I think it’s a big trust thing, and I also like to think it changes day to day. What’s alright on one day may be too much on the next. But I also like to think that Luci would be 100% understanding of that.

As you said- it’s not just all or nothing with aroace people, and it sucks that that streotype exists. At its core, asexuality is a lack of sexual attraction- but that says nothing against physical touch in general. And aromanticism at its core is a lack of romantic attraction- which again, says nothing on physical touch!

Not to mention, love is such a complicated, multi faceted thing. Aroace people are not incapable of love. Aroace people are not stony beings who do not crave reassurance and human connection. We just crave it differently than others.

[c0pper0tter]

Currently hyperfixated on the girlies Gambit and Rogue so have a page of digital drawings I made of them recently

Also to be extra annoying since everyone online is being mad about x men being 'woke' here are my headcanons about these lovely two individuals

First of all they are literally just this meme and yes I will be drawing it with them some day

Gambit and Rogue are t4t I make the laws here

Gambit is also the definition of bisexuality (look at what he's wearing people come on) and Rogue just gives me the vibes she doesn't have a label for her sexuality, she just vibes and is definitively not straight

They both are also autistic cause again, I make the rules

Rogues stims by humming, rocking, and mouth clicks while Gambits main stims are hand stims like flapping or hitting his wrists along with rocking and hopping

I like to think Gambit wears big chunky sound proof headphones anytime he can cause 1 autism and 2 his power is to make things explode so he's gotta have something to protect his hearing from the explosions, on missions he has special made tiny ones that aren't so big and bulky

He is getting slight hearing loss though from before he started wearing protection

I like to think Rogue also has bad eyesight cause same bro and she wears contacts, she refuses to wear glasses but Remy thinks she looks cute with them

She does have a pair of red glasses for when she can't wear contacts

They both love physical affection but only with eachother, Rogue has been touch starved due to her powers and Remy tends to be touch averse due to trust issues but clings to those he trusts I think so both of them only engage in affection with people they're really close with, so they're constantly cuddling and just holding eachothers hand whenever their next to eachother

Neither of them really give a shit about gender roles so they both are always stealing eachothers clothes

Rogue: Remy, have you seen my green tube dress?

Gambit: *walks out wearing said dress* .......it makes me feel pretty :)

Rogue: .......well now I'm pissed that you look better in it than I do

Gambit: :/

Both also have I guess you'd call them 'girls nights' where they watch shitty movies put on face masks and talk shit about the other x men, like spill the tea babe what's the latest drama, sometimes nightcrawler joins them but he usually just sits there awkwardly like 'what's going on, am I third wheeling?'

Rogue and Nightcrawler are the bestest of siblings btw, they love eachother so much and whenever they annoy the other there's a running gag of one of them shouting 'I'm telling mom!' and the other shouting back 'which one cause good luck they both ain't gonna do shit!'

Siblings man

I like to imagine Nightcrawler and Gambit don't really know what to make of eachother at first, they both try to joke with the other and get along but it always ends up awkward on one end cause their trying a little too hard and don't know what to do lol

Rogue laughs at them when they complain about it to her

Eventually, after a way too long era of awkwardness, they become decent bros

Rogue and Gambit are that couple who threaten to kill eachother on the daily and say the worst shit to eachother but the second you insult one of them the other will be at your throat with a knife and a promise it'll end up in you somehow

They also both make fun of eachothers accents constantly

I really don't care if none of this is comic book accurate I'm making my own interpretation of the characters and having fun

[promptsforyourwhumpfic]

The Grand A-Z List of Whump 3/3

This list contains 194 items listed R to Z

As always, I heavily encourage people to research topics thoroughly when writing as it is important to avoid stereotypes/misinformation. This list's intention is to not glorify/romanticise sensitive topics in any way.

This is a comprehensive list of injuries, Illnesses and tropes - including those from the Whumptober 2023 trope vote!

All submissions are listed in italics, and those who wanted to be tagged will be included at the end. If you have any more submissions: please send them via DM/my ask box.

[A-H] [I-Q] [NSFW List]

List below the cut:

R

Rabies

Radiation Poisoning/Exposure

Radio Silence

Ransom Note/Video

Rashes

Recovery

Reducing breaks or dislocations (bonus: out in the field with no painkillers available)

Reflection

Rejection

Reluctant Caretaker

Reluctant Whumpee

Reminded of trauma

Reopened Wound

Repressed Emotions

Repressed trauma resurfacing

Rescue

Rescued by the enemy

Rescues gone wrong

Respiratory Distress

Restraints

Reuniting

Revenge

Ringing Ears

Ritual sacrifice

Rockslides

Role Reversal

Rope Burns

Running fingers through hair (maliciously or comfortingly)

Running Out of Air

Ruptured eardrum

S

Sacrifice

Sadistic Choice

Sartorial constraints

Scars

Scoliosis

Scraped Knees

Scratched corneas

Scratches

Seasickness

Second impact syndrome

Secrets

Sedated

Seeing double

Seizures

Self esteem issues

Self induced injury to escape

Self sacrifice

Self-aid

Self-inflicted injury (to escape)

Semi-consciousness

Sensory Deprivation/Overload

Sentimental Items

Separation

Sepsis

Servitude

Setbacks in recovery

Severed Artery

Shaking Hands

Shipwreck

Shivering

Shock

Shock collar

Shot (gun, arrow, dart, etc...)

Shrapnel (blast/wounds)

Sick/injured at a party

Skull fracture

Slapped

Sleep Deprivation

Sleep Paralysis

Sleeping in the cold

Sleeplessness

Smashing their head into a wall

Smoke Inhalation

Snake Bites

Sneezing

So sick they can barely even stand or stay awake

Significant other taking care of wounds

So weak they have to hold on to something or someone to walk

Solitary Confinement

Special object being ruined/torn apart

Spinal Cord Injury

Split lip

Sprains

Stab Wounds

Stabbed (sword, spear, knife, TRIDENT!, etc...)

Stabbed through the back by the only person the whumpee trusted

Stage fright

Stalking

Status epilepticus

Stiches

Stings (insect, creature, plants)

Stitches

Stoic/Defiant Whumpee

Stoic/Rude/Harsh Reluctant Caregiver!Mentor & Ball of Sunshine Hurt!Mentee (platonic)

Stomach ache

Stomach Ulcers (a cause for vomiting up blood)

Stomach virus

Straight Jacket

Strangling

Strangulation resulting in bruised or swollen vocal chords and loss of voice + the process of regaining your voice and everything that comes with that trauma.

Stress (this could induce headaches/general illness)

Stress Position

Stumbling

Sucking chest wound

Suffocating

Sunburn

Super glued to toilet

Surgery

Surgery gone wrong

Surrendering

Survivor's Guilt

Swollen Lymph Nodes

T

Tachycardia

Taking the bullet

TBI (traumatic brain injury)

Team as a family

Team has a certain amount of time to get to their Whumpee before they’re killed

Team teaming up to take care of sick teammate

Temporary Loss of Sense(s)

Tendonitis

Tetanus

The Final Straw

Thrown from an explosion

Time Loop

Tiny whump

Tonsillitis

Tooth knocked out

Torn Ligaments - Achilles, Meniscus etc.

Torn Muscles

Torture

Touch Aversion/Touch Starved

Tranquilizer Dart

Trap

Trapped (whether this is after an explosion, car accident, natural disaster…)

Trapped Limbs

Trapped underwater

Trauma reveal

Tremors

Trust Issues

Truth spell/serum

Tuberculosis

Twisted ankle

U

Undead (vampires and ghosts and zombies, oh my!)

Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms

Unresponsive

Upper respiratory infection

Used as bait

Usually big, strong and boisterous whumpee becomes quiet and weaker as the whumper conditions them.

UTI (Urinary Tract Infection)

V

Vampire whump

Vampires Thrall

Vehicular Accident

Venom

Vertigo

Very badly hurt and on life support - with slow recovery

Virus

Visions

Vocal chord paralysis

Vomiting/Vomiting blood

W

Waterboarding

West Nile virus

Whip scars

Whipping/Flogging

Whumpee being psychologically tortured via fake escape scenarios so when they are actually getting rescued they don't believe it. bonus point if they still don't think anything is real.

Whumpee dreams of a loved one happily inviting them “home” (They're actually dying IRL)

Whumpee getting the upper hand over whumper.

Whumpee stabbing whumper or beating their head into the ground over and over while sobbing, even when they’re clearly dead because they NEED to take their emotions out.

Whumpee turned Whumper

Whumpee watches caretaker take a bullet/hit/poison for them.

Whumper turned Caretaker

Whumper turned whumpee

Whumper with a crush

Wincing/Flinching

Wing whump

Wisdom Tooth Removal

Withdrawal

Withholding Medical Treatment

Witnessing. (Whumpee sees someone die in a brutal way. Whumpee sees someone get possessed/turned into a zombie/some other horrifying thing and they just stare horrified.)

Working for the enemy

Working through injury/illness

Working to Exhaustion

Wrists rubbed raw

Wrong Place, Wrong Time

Wrongfully Accused/Arrested

Wrongfully fired

X

Xeroderma. (Extreme sun sensitivity)

XMRV is a newly identified human retrovirus that is similar to a group of mouse retroviruses (called murine leukaemia viruses, or MLVs)

Y

Yellow Fever

Z

Zombie virus, etc.

Zoonotic Hookworm

Zoonotic illness (It’s a disease carried or transmitted by animals to humans like tularemia or psittacosis)

Zosler (Shingles)

Zygomycosis (Fungal infection)

TAG LIST: Thank you very much to the following people for submitting ideas! (I apologise if some tags did not work, I'm not sure why tumblrs not letting me tag you!)

@I-eat-worlds | @greygullhaven | @letsgowhump | @cyberwhumper @firapolemos05 | @originaldeerhottub | @whumpilicious | @drawing-dinos82 | @carenrose | @stellarinuscronicles | @gottheseasonalblues | @marvelflame2010 | @sowhumpful | @avamcu | @courtneygacha | @lordofthewhumps | @autismmydearwatson | @kuddelmuddell | @the-most-handsome-ginger | @whirls-and-swirls | @painsandconfusion

[manic-sapphic]

ngl sometimes i get bored and end up watching my own spop amvs

but tbh, i make them cause of music i wanna see em set to. i regularly reuse scenes cause they mean a lot to me and there are just too many songs they work w lmao.

but i was just watching this one and ahh oh man :/

the way kid catra's eyes sorta slide over and look at adora's hand...

it's the trust. it's soooo huge for anyone w trauma, abandonment issues, anything in that area

it effects catra's aversion to touch as well, but all the while growing up in the horde, there was only one kinda physical contact that was reassuring: this ^^^^

[autism-culture-is]

autism AFRID culture is hating whenever anyone with autism mentions how food aversion "isn't an issue for us Actually"

-

"yea i just got over my aversion to spicy foods and now i just eat anything because its that easy" like sure thats fine for you and all great and all but you don't speak for all of us.

i am underweight and nutrient deficient because of how little things i am capable to eat. it isn't "oh tehe silly little thing i can just Overcome By Trying New Foods",, its a genuinely hard part of my daily life that makes it horrible.

eating fruit literally causes more levels of stress for me than a trust fall. some of us CAN'T get over the food aversions and that i wish that would stop being seen as a moral failure :/ like i don't WANT to cause issues for others but i genuinely rather not eat then touch a nonsafe food

.