#and u are appreciated for who u are no matter how small you are to them
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the-star-and-the-smols · 1 month ago
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I think being a tiny appeals to people with anxiety because
- waaaay less perception
- big person take care of you
-big friend (or partner) soft and warm and caring and huge shield from scary world (see previous)
-able to appreciate the little things more that others don't really pay attention to. Your own little world
-big person soft and loving and warm and wait I already said that but I think it bears repeating
-being held
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starkeyvhs · 6 months ago
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interruptions
PAIRING: nerd!rafe cameron x popular!reader
SUMMARY: you keep on interrupting rafe’s rambles with your kisses.
WORD COUNT: 565
WARNINGS: lots of kisses; fluffy mostly, just very slightly suggestive in between; usage of nicknames; rafe being kinda shy and flustered my baby :’)
EDITH SPEAKS: this fic is inspired by this fic by @xoxochb. it’s a percy jackson one, and if you are interested in that fandom i definitely recommend reading this fic and checking the rest of their stuff out!
and, thank you to @maddsxfall too who helped me write this fic :) I love u maddie! <3
I hope you all enjoy reading this! as always, reblogs and feedback are highly appreciated 🌌
masterlist / join my taglist / requests / moodboard and concept for my nerd!rafe x popular!reader fic
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“The cosmos is made of isolated points – the stars, which are connected by invisible lines of influence, and similarly, our brains are also made of isolated points, in this case, the neurons, which are also connected by–”
Rafe’s ramble is cut off with your lips pressed on his, his eyes immediately shutting close at the reaction. 
“What was that?” He mumbles, eyes barely open as you pull back and look up at him, gently pushing his glasses above the bridge of his nose. 
“You just looked so cute rambling about whatever it was you were rambling about,” you laugh softly. 
His own lips lift up to a small smile as he softly shakes his head. “As I was saying, our neurons are also connected by invisible lines of influence and– mmph neurons create patterns of thoughts and memory while– mmh stars create– hmm patterns for navigation and storytelling,” Rafe looks at your grinning face, the way you feel so victorious about interrupting his ramble again and again with kisses. 
“What else?” You mumble softly, pressing your lips back to his in a firm kiss, allowing both of yourself to stay in your bubble for a moment or so before pulling back. 
“Uh, also uh…” Rafe clears his throat, a little flustered from your kisses, which you can visibly see from the pink flush beginning to color his cheeks. You giggle softly, watching how his glasses slide down his nose again and just decide to take them off, carefully keeping them to the side. 
“Mhm, go on,” I hum softly, giving him another small kiss. 
“There are 86 billion neurons in a human brain,” Rafe murmurs against your lips, and you kiss them softly again, “and when we zoom out enough– mmh the web of neurons looks a lot like–” A soft gasp leaves Rafe lips when you begin to trail your lips behind his ear, gently kissing the delicate skin there before trailing down to the side of his neck. 
“Yeah baby?” You mumble into his neck, your voice vibrating against his skin which sends a shiver down his spine. 
“looks a lot like… the cosmos, like the… galaxy clusters connected… with…” he lets out soft breaths between words, feeling his eyelids getting heavier. “dark matter…” he finally breathes out. 
You are pressing gentle kisses over the sensitive skin of his neck, soft shallow breaths leaving his lips as he feels a certain tingling sensation on his neck. 
“You’re so smart…” you mumble softly, kissing up to his sharp jawline and over his cheek before reaching his lips again, and pressing a soft kiss to them. “I love hearing you ramble,” you mumble against his lips, pulling back slightly and smiling at his flustered cheeks. 
“You… you do?” Rafe mumbles quietly, “it’s not boring?”
You shake your head with your smile still proud on your lips. “Never. Do it as much as you want to,” you murmur. 
“Did you know there were countless stars that were a part of ancient constellations, but they just dimmed or have gone supernova?” He blurts out, his voice quiet. 
You let out a soft chuckle and give him a soft peck on his lips. “Oh yeah?” You murmur, kissing his lips again. “Tell me more.” 
Rafe can feel his heart warming as you kiss him repetitively and ask him to tell you more. 
Oh here we go again.
⊹₊⋆.˚୨୧⋆.˚₊ ⊹
taglist: @oxpogues4lifexo / @inthelibrarybtw / @mileyraes / @chenslucy / @totalswag / @wearemadeofstardust0 / @percysley / @superswaggycooch / @khaisdrz / @weirdowithnobeardo / @chimchimjiminie16 / @ursovaine / @mariamadison6-blog / @snowtargaryen / @htlkira / @acidfeens / @r4fe-cam3ron
tagging a few moots: @runningfrom2am / @ilyrafe / @zyafics / @nemesyaaa / @ladyinbl00d / @jjsbank444 / @b1mb0slvt / @maddsxfall
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multiversediaries · 4 months ago
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MORE THAN FRIENDS
⤷ FRANK CASTLE X READER
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Summary: After overhearing a conversation between Matt and Karen, you find comfort in the arms of the big, bad Punisher.
Warnings: mentions of cheating, small angst, soft, and i mean, VERY soft frank
Part count: 1/?
A/N: i loved, loved, LOVED! writing this!!!!! i hope u guys like it as much as i do ^-^ apologies for any mistakes! english is not my first language!
“Why aren’t you listening to me?” You heard Matt’s voice from outside of their office. You had just came back into the office, after looking more into a few cases you were all working on. You were eager to share the information you acquired to both your boyfriend, Matt, and Foggy.
“You are in a relationship, Matthew. This is insane.” Karen soon spoke up. You raised your ears in curiosity. Were they talking about you? You leaned into the door, trying to listen into their conversation.
You have been in a loving relationship with Matt for about two years now. You met him while working at his law firm, and ultimately fell for him. Who wouldn’t? Matt is a dream come true. It didn’t make you uncomfortable to know that his ex girlfriend, Karen, also worked along side Matt, since you knew he loved you. He reminded you every single day of how much he loved and appreciated you. He never gave you a reason to doubt him.
“Y/N? God, Karen. Can’t you see? She means nothing— not next to you.” Matt said, your heart sinking at his words. No, this isn’t the Matt you knew. The Matt you knew and fell in love with would never speak of you like this. No.. he loved you. He told you every day.
He loved you… right?
“You don’t mean that, Matt.” Karen replied softly. You could sense pity in her voice for you.
“Y/N… she’s lovely. She really is— she’s so good to me, but she’s not you. She will never be you.”
You heard Karen reply, but you weren’t paying attention anymore. You bit your bottom lip, hiding your silent cries, and shuttering breaths. You started to walk away from the office, not daring to even look back. You were grateful it was usually noisy around the office during that time, so Matt wouldn’t have been able to hear you.
You stood in the middle of the sidewalk, finally allowing yourself to hurt. Tears streamed down your face, painful sobs leaving your throat. The stares of people didn’t matter to you. How could he? How could you have been so naive? It was all too good to be true, and you knew this. You knew it was, yet you brushed it off. Just thinking this was the universe finally letting you be happy, for once. How naive.
You walked around the streets of Hell’s Kitchen. not having a place to go. You shared the apartment with Matt. You couldn’t go to Karen, or Foggy. Gosh, where were you going to sleep for tonight? Those were the only people you truly trusted and knew. You didn’t have any family left in Hell’s Kitchen. No one.
As you walked around town, flashbacks kept replaying in your head. Walking past that italian restaurant Matt loved so much, the small bar Matt liked playing pool in, the park Matt loved taking walks with you at, everything reminded you of him. You closed your eyes in defeat, as you felt small rain drops fall on your skin.
Just what you needed.
But even then, it was comforting. You always liked how the city looked during rainy nights. It brought you peace and now, consolation. You walked around the streets you loved so much, an emotionless expression in your face. You felt empty. You felt so pathetic, and like you had wasted two years of your life. Two years of nothing but what you thought was happiness and love. But it was just a fantasy. A delusion. Fiction. It just wasn’t real, nothing was real. You weren’t Karen. You didn’t have as much history with Matt as Karen did. You just weren’t her.
While you continued to walk, your tears now hidden in the rain, giving you the freedom to let go, to cry as much as you pleased, you heard a name you hadn’t heard in a while.
The Punisher.
Frank Castle. The man who once saved your life. The man who seemed to care so deeply about you. A long lost friend. You lost communication with him a few months ago. It was nothing new, Frank traveled a lot, he never truly stayed at one place for too long. You didn’t know he was back, as he hadn’t told you. He’d always find a way to contact you, to let you know he was alive and well. Most of the times, he simply got you flowers. He knew how much you liked them. So he wanted to be associated with something you liked so much.
You soon found yourself at his front door. Terrified he wouldn’t be home. After composing yourself, or at least trying to, you knocked twice on his door. You bit your lip, looking down anxiously.
Please be home, Frank. Please.
After a few minutes of silence, that sense of hope inside of you started to die down. He wasn’t home. Of course he wasn’t home. You let out a breathy chuckle, shaking your head. Again, how fucking naive. You wiped your teary, swollen eyes, and turned around on your heels, starting to walk away from his door. You began thinking of where you could spend the night. If anything, you could wait under they all leave the office, and you could sleep there.
“Y/N?” You heard a deep, raspy voice call out behind you, interrupting your thoughts. You could have sworn your heart stopped. You turned around slowly, finding Frank.
“You’re home…” You managed to whisper, earning a cautious nod from Frank.
“Everything okay, doll? What’s goin’ on?” Frank asked, his eyes scanning you, looking for any injuries on you. His expression softening at the sight of a broken you.
You opened your mouth to speak, yet nothing came out. You faked a smile, wiping your eyes once again. Frank’s heart tightened. He slowly began making his way to you. Your smile soon turned into a frown, small sobs leaving your lips. You couldn’t stop yourself from breaking down in front of him. Loud, and sore wails filling the hall you both were standing on.
Frank didn’t say a word either, he only embraced you into a tight hug. His strong arms stroking your back lovingly, as he held you together, knowing that if he let go, you’d fall apart right in front of him. Once he noticed your cries had calmed down, he finally spoke up.
“Let’s change you out of these wet clothes.” He spoke lightly, guiding you into his apartment. He closed the door behind him, leading you into the bathroom. He brought some of his clothes for you, and a towel.
“Take a warm bath, and then we’ll talk if you want to, alright?” Frank said, before offering you a small, pitiful grin, and closing the door. You took off the damped clothes and jumped into the shower, instantly relaxing as soon as the hot water touched your cold skin.
Frank could hear your whimpers and cries from his living room, where he impatiently waited for you. He had never seen you like this. His heart felt heavy while looking into your blood red, swollen eyes, your quivering lips and broken expression. He sighed harshly, remembering how cold you felt when he held you into his arms, how much you were shaking. He quickly stood up, gathering warm blankets for you. He also prepared warm chocolate for you, your favorite kind, in hopes of lifting your spirits, even if it’s just a little.
He must have gotten too caught up in trying to make you feel comfortable, that he didn’t notice you. You stood by the counter of his kitchen, wearing one of his t-shirts and long pants, which were most definitely a little big on you. He smiled just a bit, once he locked eyes with you. You returned the kind smile, watching him as he poured the hot chocolate into a cup for you.
Soon, your eyes drifted to a flower arrangement, carefully sitting by the end of the counter you were leaning on. You sighed quietly, in relief.
“Those are yours, sweetheart. Was gonna have them delivered to you tomorrow, or somethin’.” Frank said, handing the cup to you. You smiled, genuinely this time. Of course he was going to. How dare you doubt him? He cares about you. Truthfully. You brought the cup to your lips, softly blowing it, before drinking from it.
“See, I just didn’t know where to send ‘em to.” Frank continued, looking at the flowers he got for you. Tulips. “Didn’t know you moved in with Matt.” He said. You sighed at the mention of his name, a frown appearing once again.
“Yeah, well. Definitely don’t send them there.” You replied, so soft it was almost a whisper. Frank nodded, not wanting to push you. He didn’t want to pressure you into telling him anything.
“Are you alright, doll? Talk to me.” Frank said, as softly and tenderly as possible. You sighed shakily, recalling what you heard. Frank bit the insides of his mouth. “Let’s go sit, okay?” He offered, a hand lightly on your waist, leading you to his living room. Frank sat across from you, giving you all the space you needed. You looked down at the cup in your hands, trying to find the right words.
“It’s Matt, he—”
“Did he hurt you?”
“No! Of course not— I mean, yeah? Kind of?” You replied, placing the cup down on the coffee table in front of you, before your hands ran to caress your temples in frustration.
“I’m sorry.” Frank said after taking a deep breath. “Didn’t meant to interrupt ya.” He finished, his eyes never leaving yours. Your heart almost melted. Frank has always been this kind, this attentive.
“It’s fine, Frank. It’s just—” You continued, running a hand through your damped hair, trying to find the best way to explain your situation. “I don’t even know how to explain it, he just— he just doesn’t love me.”
“What?” Frank asked, truly baffled at your words. Because how can anybody not adore you?
“I heard him speaking to Karen. And he told her I was nothing compared to her, and that he only wanted her.” You continued, your voice breaking. “He doesn’t love me, Frank. Simply because I’m not her.” You finished, your head dropped in embarrassment and hurt. You held back your wails, yet there was not point in stopping the tears that now ran down your face. You heard Frank sigh.
After a few minutes of nothing but your silent cries, Frank had now moved to sit next to you, an arm wrapped around you, as you cried into his chest. His fingers traced circles on your skin, attempting to comfort you as much as he possibly could. A few more minutes passed, yet Frank hadn’t said a word.
“Why haven’t you said anything?” You finally spoke up, your voice sore and tired from all the crying. Frank shrugged his shoulders, looking down at you.
“Just can’t understand how anyone would want anybody else but you.” Frank said, his eyebrows furrowed in utter confusion. He was dumbfounded. “You’re it for me, sweetheart.” Frank continued, his face showing utter bewilderment.
“Didn’t know Red could be so goddamn stupid.” Frank said, looking down to stare into your eyes. Your eyes glassy and overflowing with tears. He sighed, his rough fingers wiping away the small teardrops on your cheeks.
“I’m sorry I can’t comfort ‘ya any better, I’m just bamboozled.” Frank confessed, making a small giggle leave your mouth. He offered you a small grin.
“Don’t you dare doubt yourself ‘cause of him. You know your worth and how fucking amazing you are— he’s missing out on you, pretty girl.” Frank continued, his rough hand felt warm and even soft against your skin. You bit your lip, killer butterflies filling your stomach while you heard Frank speak so softly and lovingly to you.
“I just don’t understand— if it were me, I would’ve put a ring on your finger ages ago. Fuck, I would’ve made you a mom by now.” Frank rambled on, your eyes softly widening at his sudden confession. Frank seemed to realized what he said, since he quickly looked into your eyes in panic.
“I mean— I would’ve never exchanged you for anyone or anything. I’m telling ‘ya, you’re it for me.” Frank finished, his hand leaving your cheek. You frowned at the loss of his warmth.
“You should be exhausted, go to sleep, alright? We’ll talk more in the morning.” Frank said softly, before planting a tender kiss to your forehead. You nodded, mostly speechless by what just happened. You made your way to then vacant room Frank had offered you, looking back once in a while, locking eyes with Frank. You smiled timidly, before walking into the room, and closing the door behind you.
“‘I would’ve made you a mom.’ ‘The fuck were you thinking?” Frank cursed under his breath, cleaning up his living room. His eyes going going over to the room you were sleeping at, wondering if you needed anything, and most importantly, if you were okay.
Inside, a smile had formed in your lips, remembering the words Frank had said to you. You couldn’t help the obvious attraction and love you felt towards him, from the very first day you met him. Matt hated Frank, probably because of how fondly you spoke of him and how excited you used to get when a bucket of flowers would get delivered to you. You used to reassure Matt to not worry about Frank, that you two were just friends.
But were you?
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levigarden999 · 28 days ago
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part 2 ♡ dumb!bakugo x reader
part 1 here ʚଓ theme : bakugo is a cute nervous wreck around u ⋆˙⟡
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you had been playing this addictive, sweet little game with bakugo for weeks now.
no matter how confident or arrogant the stubborn boy was, somehow around you he lost all of his confidence. of course, he tried to act the exact same way he had always acted towards you – rude, smug and most of all just someone who was above you. however, bakugo was sure he had lost his mind. he just couldn’t be rude to you anymore and he didn’t understand why.
bakugo hated how weak and pathetic he had became. he couldn’t understand why he was suddenly so… soft? everytime you talked to him, even looked at him, his mind just went blank. bakugo felt his cheeks heating up to the point even his ears were burning – and by the way you smirked, he knew you noticed that as well.
bakugo was embarrassed. almost humiliated. as if you wanted to make him seem weak on purpose!
of course, you didn’t want that. you just enjoyed teasing bakugo now since you were pretty sure he was catching feelings for you as well. ever since you realized he wasn’t as oblivious as before, you gained confidence to approach him properly.
”hey, kats” you tapped his shoulder while walking through the hallway. an innocent smile was plastered on your face, your eyes staring up at him as if you had no idea about the effect you had on him.
he nearly flinched at your touch and with a quick movement turned to look at you. there he was again – the blood rushing to his face and making his cheeks flush with that pretty pink. you found him adorable.
”what do you want?” he scowled and pressed his lips together. he had his hands shoved deep in his pockets, but you could notice how nervously his fingers were fidgeting in both of his pockets. how could someone even be that obvious?
”you wanna come to my place tomorrow? i need some help with my quirk and since you’re so strong, i wondered if…. if you’d like to give me some advice on how to be a better fighter” you clasped your hands behind your back, the same sweet, soft smile on your pretty lips.
bakugo blinked one, two, three times, and his mouth opened a little from surprise. he once again felt his heart pounding against his chest as he stared down at you, those pretty eyes looking so wide and hopeful.
”huh? me? you want me to help you?” he asked with that raspy and bewildered tone. bakugo couldn’t understand why you, a strong hero, would need his help.
”mm-hm” you nodded and smiled wider.
he looked so cute like this, those usually so sharp and straight up angry eyes now softened and widened. you wanted to just grab him by his face and kiss those stupid cheeks and cling to him like a baby monkey.  but that would come later, you had to lock in for now.
”i- uh-” he scratched his disheveled hair, his voice lower and suddenly uncertain. ”i don’t usually help people, like, ever. but i mean, if you insist, i guess i can try. but you better listen and not be a fucking brat” he mumbled almost reluctantly, his eyes drifting somewhere else from you. he didn’t want to see the look on your face now since he had given in.
”thanks, kats! you’re the best!” you exclaimed. for a second you almost pulled him into a hug, but then you remembered, it was bakugo after all. no matter how in love bakugo would be with someone, i knew he wasn’t the type of person who would appreciate sudden hugs or affection. especially in such a public place, you wanted to respect the awkward boy’s boundaries.
”what ever” he grumbled and shoved his hand back in his pocket. he looked down and frowned, a small pout on his surprisingly plump lips. as if he was disappointed in himself by giving in to your wish. 
you chuckled. ”okay, see you tomorrow, i’ll find ya after school” you said casually and smiled while waving a goodbye. you walked off and bakugo was left there, wondering his life decisions. what the hell had gotten into him? katsuki bakugo was suddenly doing things he would never do (helping people) for a GIRL he didn’t even know that well.
part 3 here
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urfriendlywriter · 25 days ago
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What is emotional vulnerability? And can how can your characters show it?
(these are from my POV of what I have learnt and researched. differences in opinion are appreciated because no definition and depiction is set in stone | Credits must be given when reposted elsewhere / @urfriendlywriter ! I hope this helps all of you :D)
Tackling this with three topics:
What's vulnerability?
Actions related to vulnerability. (Actions/words that depict a person is feeling vulnerable + some dialogue prompts)
How to build trust between two people?
Vulnerability:
Emotional vulnerability is the ability to be open to and express one's feelings, even when facing the risk of rejection, criticism, or shame. Vulnerability means acknowledging your difficult emotions. Accepting overwhelming feelings, being able to express them with tender care towards yourself and others.
I'd consider myself a very openly communicative person. If I love you--as a friend, family or something else, I'll make sure you know the depth of it, the meaning behind my words, my look and my touch. I encourage vulnerability in all my relationships and it has positively reflected in their own personal growth as well. Being open, being real, being you, with all the ache, the scars, the hurt, and even the small ball of light within yourself amidst is all---that's vulnerability. And as we,
We gen z, we shelter ourselves to protect ourselves from hurt. But... if we get hurt, is it really our fault? No. If somebody hurts you intentionally, it doesn't translate to what you deserve or must go through. But if I don't get hurt... how will I learn to cope with it? Express it? Communicate through it? Learn from it? And.. importantly, how will I..
Learn how to heal myself again. Learn how to love myself far better. Learn how I want to be and what relationships I want to attract?
So, me, personally, I put myself out there. Like an open book. To read, to feel, to see--including the hurt and the parts I'm working on. Of course, i don't fully lodge it down a person's throat in one go, but u get what i mean. It is slow building of trust and can be used to your advantage as well. (lol that sounds toxic)
Harsh Truths?
Some people will use it against you, but should it hurt you if u were real to yourself? No.
Not all people u open up to may be emotionally mature. And that's okay. Move on.
It is not the end of the world if someone who saw all parts of you turned against you. It simply wasn't your person. It was neither of your faults.
Paint a character afraid to be vulnerable:
Hesitancy to open up, to speak up for themselves.
Blinking back tears, and telling themselves they'd be okay regardless.
"Atleast I don't have it worse."
"And.. If.. I tell you.. You won't look at me differently? Like.. I'm--I'm not worthy?"
doesn't ask for help. doesn't accept help easily.
doesn't think they're worthy to be seen. or to be loved. to be accepted or to even be heard.
"what i say won't make much of a difference anyway" A & "No, i want to hear it. how little, silly, stupid, serious, deep, it may be. I want to hear it. Please."
being numb to pain that they think it's normal to internalize it all.
and one day it erupts all out. into tears and rage. or raw unfiltered pain that bleeds onto everyone who loves them, hurting them too.
they freeze, momentarily surprised when they're asked for their honest opinion
or when they've to blink back tears when someone notices something and helps them without them even asking
detached during intimacy or hyperventilating after or during it
pulling away and pushing the other person away when they truly need them the most
Paint a character confident in themselves and are openly communicative:
you will not second guess what they feel about u, because u can see it in their faces or they'll openly say it
they encourage honest and deep conversations
the look of love is always there in their gaze
they love openly. they have so much love to give.
they'll hear u out no matter the time of the day and will provide a safe space for u
"I'm always here for u" in a soft, quiet voice, a gentle smile and a warm hug
"It's okay to feel that way. Hell u should feel that way. If u wanna talk about it.. here I am."
they're their own safe spaces and they can dive into their emotions, whenever and wherever needed.
they won't let u feel alone in ur misery. they'll shoulder the burden with u, but won't internalize it as their own. (i fear this is very important)
always knows the cause of why they said what they said / how they behaved or reacted
can analyze even u with one glance.
"how are you?" As a gentle caress of words & "I've-I've.. never been asked that.. not with such sincerity.." shyness of the one opening up.
^ "So, here I am.. I've got all the time of the day. Care to tell me?"
They aren't afraid of rejection. But they'll not put up with bullshit.
Building trust between two people:
Building trust is intimate. If done right. Between friends, family, lovers or anyone it may be. It's delicate, it's comforting quietness at some times and hearty loudness at some other. It's being understood, being seen, being able to communicate freely and respectfully.
Vulnerability is present where trust is.
asking help for small things without shying away from it
physical closeness. after moments of honesty or heavy emotions.
prioritizing each other
admiring every little thing they do
lots of "thank you"s being said that shows appreciation loud and clear
nervous glances, shaky hands and fluttering heartbeats as they may be help u zip up ur dress.
forehead kisses, followed up with, "I see you.. Let me help u cleanse away the day's stress."
celebrating even the smallest of their success
asking consent in every small thing!!
^ "i-i why are u asking for that? yes, of course." A & "Love.. I should always ask, even for such a thing as that." B
Being slow but steady with each other
"U don't want to do that? no rush." Immediately backing off A with a smile & B trying to understand how they aren't mad yet "A-are u sure?"
^ "We're in no rush.. We'll go at you pace. But consider my emotions too down the line, hmm?"
Lots of "And how does that make you feel?"
arguments feel less like the ones they saw growing up. and now it's more intimate, thoughtful, full of understanding and closeness. both sides are heard, understood, appreciated and both sides change.
Author's (@urfriendlywriter aka Ziya) note:
As someone who had to learn myself, I'm hoping such a love finds me and all of us too! I've read gentle love in a lot of books. Gentle, patient, communicative, uplifting but I'm yet to find a book that's full of these. So if u have any recommendations, let me know.
Thank u for reading so far! I hope this helps u write amazing, emotionally available characters.
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ahmedwahdann · 5 months ago
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"Hello, I am Ahmed Wahdan, and I have been working tirelessly to provide food and water to those in need in Gaza. Every day, families are struggling to survive, and your support can help bring some relief to those who have lost everything. I am dedicated to this cause and would greatly appreciate any help in spreading the word or making a donation
Together, we can make a difference in the lives of over 3,000 families. Every contribution, no matter how small, helps provide a meal or water to someone in desperate need. Your support means the world to us, and it gives hope to those who have nothing left. Please share this message and help us reach as many people as possible.
My old account has been banned. I kindly ask for your support by sharing my new account. Your participation means a lot to me. Thank you for your help! @ahmedwahdan
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✅️Vetted by @gazavetters, my number verified on the list is ( #440 )✅️
Your donation, starting from 5, will provide a hot meal for families who have lost everything. 5 , 10 , 50 – every contribution means saving a life. We also ask for your prayers for their safety as they carry out this heroic work in difficult circumstances
Please, please donate to this cause if you can; it does no harm to you and it does the opposite for people in need. If you feel comfortable, please do consider donating. The ceasefire has not ended the hunger that’s resulted from it
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miaoua3 · 2 months ago
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hey! i just saw that u opened requests and i came here to ask If you could do a seventeen reaction when you're on your ovulation week..? like, what goes on on their mind seeing you so needy, almost begging for them.. 🫠 i would really appreciate that 'cuz i LOVE your writing! thank you!! 🩷
(embarrassed to say this but this request has been sitting in my inbox for MONTHS😭 gurl im so sorry im only answering it now, i hope you dont hate me too much🫶 also don’t mind how much more porn-descriptive it got half way through, i kinda…lost the plot halfway through lmao)
SVT & Your Ovulation Week
scoups-a natural care taker who goes insane at seeing you so needy, eyes glazed as you literally beg him to fuck you. normally would try to keep it cool and collected, but you are just so needy, all the restraint he possesses gets thrown out of the window in the name of pounding into your insatiable pussy. literally goes on for hours, still has the strength to fold you in half and absolutely ruin you, even after 4 rounds. he won’t stop until he has you sobbing his name while underneath his body, until the sheets are soaked through completely. his dick might as well fall off in the end because he isn’t stopping, no matter what. overall he loses his mind at seeing you so needy, begging for him to break you (both mentally and physically)
jeonghan-normally he would be all teasing and borderline sinister as he edges you to no end, but he knows how high your emotions can run during your ovulation that he kind of just…shuts up and fuck you till he almost passes out😭 but overall loves seeing you so needy and desperate for him, gets him a bit cocky knowing that he’s the one you seek out during your emotional and vulnerable times to take care of you. in the end he physically can’t go for longer, ends up just laying there with shaking legs and just says “use me if you still need to, but fuck i am NOT moving anymore”😭 (you literally fuck his brains out)
joshua-loving, caring, and downright sinister to you all at once. he mostly goes with whatever you are feeling-he can either make the most romantic love to you or he can tie you up and make you sob for the next 3 hours. in either way-he takes care of you, body and soul. he loves seeing you so needy, so desperate for him-his love, his cock and his presence. he loves having an excuse to just shut off the world for hours and just do what he loves the most-fucking you until your whole body is shaking
jun-is so scared of doing something to piss you off so he just…shuts up and does whatever you tell him to. want him to eat you out? 🫡already on it. want him to fuck you and not to stop for the next 6 hours?…well if he can just make a small pause for a snack he’s pretty sure he can do it. embodiment of “yes ma’am” in general, but during your ovulation week? your words are his prayer, he lives to please you and make you lose your mind over everything that he does to you. overall a bit overwhelmed at how needy you get but nothing he can’t handle. even if he couldn’t, he would push through it because seeing you so…cock hungry wakes something entirely different inside of him.
hoshi-oh probably the only one who acts even worse and needier than you. he can see all the signs-glazed eyes and furrowed eyebrows, the word “please” on the tip of your tongue and grabby hands, and he knows what time of the month is. he will NOT let you leave the bed for like a day straight, hands grabbing you and dragging you back to him as he says “where do you think you are going? we are nowhere near done yet.” so…rip to your pussy girl lmao i just know its gonna be BURNING from how hard and raw he will go at it. actually loses his insanity whenever he sees you get so hungry for him during your ovulation week, so in return he will make you go just as insane
wonwoo-cocky motherfucker who thoroughly enjoys seeing you begging for him to fuck you and to absolutely destroy your needy pussy. he’s all smirks and “oh yeah?”, ego getting fed every time you beg for him to give it to you. uses your neediness to play with you-not too much because you will probably whack him or drag him to your bed and take what you want and need from him, but just a little to get your senses heightened. overall very pleased seeing you let yourself be at his mercy, makes you dehydrated from how often he makes you cum on his face, fingers and cock, and makes sure that you are satiated
woozi-oh this man will have you shaking for DAYS from how much he would fuck you. something about your constant neediness and horniness makes him snap. completely loses all sense of self in the name of making you absolutely SOAK his sheets, be it from his fingers, tongue, dick or even a vibrator. it’s almost like your pheromones affect his so much that he too loses all control, wanting to just suffocate himself in your pussy. to say that he absolutely LOVES seeing you so needy for him and his touch, is an understatement. his chest fills with this weird sense of…pride? pride that he’s the one you seek out to fulfil your needs. pride that you trust him enough to take care of you during your probably most sensitive weeks. pride that you are his to take care of.
minghao-calm and collected on the outside but inside his mind there’s a whole storm brewing due to your glassy eyes and pleading voice. gets more teasing when he sees you like that-desperate and hungry for him. but not too much-his fingers tease your folds a second longer than usual, his lips stay on your pussy just to the point where he can feel your legs clamp around his head, he teases his dick against your folds just until you start whining and pulling him towards yourself. his brain just malfunctions whenever he sees you in this state, a primal need to prolong your neediness as much as possible by teasing you, by taking his time with you.
mingyu-if you think you are needy, you obviously haven’t seen gyu. it’s enough for you to pull on his shirt and look at him with those puppy eyes that scream “fuck me🥺please” and he’s a goner. he’s all over you, all tongue and spit while he’s messily kissing you, his big hands holding your cheeks. desperately grinds and humps against your clothed core, too impatient to take them off and too needy so he can’t help but roll his clothed dick into your heat. he isn’t stopping with pleasuring you until the sheets are soaked completely. he can’t help himself, it’s almost like your pheromones affect him just as much so he gets as needy as you do. one smell of your sweet pussy is all it takes for him to lose all senses, all thoughts to disappear from his head. the needy to have you moaning, screaming and crying out his name is just so strong he choses to give up all the control, all pride and self respect, there’s only ever you
dk-it can go in two ways for this one. first, he’s either all loving, romantic and sweet, whispering loving words to you as he slowly grinds his hips into your own, dick deliciously grazing the sides of your inner wall. he just wants to take care of you, to make you feel satisfied, to satisfy your deep needs. he won’t ever day no to you, doing his best to make his baby feel loved, appreciated and taken care of. two, he literally becomes this insatiable animal, literally spinning you around the room, throwing you on the bed before he drags you to the floor, all while fucking you at insane speeds. fucks you from the bed all the way to the kitchen counter. he won’t let you move an inch away from you, all over you, licking, biting and marking you as his. and what version you will get during the next ovulation? who knows, guess you will just have to sit and wait and see 🤷‍♀️
seungkwan-oh this smirky and cocky motherfucker. usually he’s acting like a virgin mary whenever you try to insinuate that you want to fuck, all scandalised and gasping, blushing while saying to take him to the dinner first. but when you’re ovulating? when he can clearly see you get all needy? when he can sense that you will either get him to give you what you want or that you will take it yourself? oh it’s game on then. going slow, to the point where you start crying in frustration but also from how good it feels. all the while he whispers in that deep voice of his things like “oh does my angel want more? want me to fuck you harder? to give it to you, just like you want it? how you need it? why don’t you try begging some more baby, see if i will care then.” he’s do meannnn but it’s so hot-it’s hot how confident he suddenly is, how with only his words he can reduce you to a whining and needy mess that you are. he loves seeing you so desperate for him, he can’t help himself but be a bit meaner so he can see you literally begging for him. it all makes him feel…proud in a fucked up way. in conclusion-ovulation time is his favourite time of the month
vernon-probably the least affected one. sure, it gets him all excited and makes him want to make you satisfied, but you won’t see him act like an animal like some of them do, nor will you see him fucking you for hours to no end. he will keep you satisfied and all, but he physically can’t go for longer than two rounds, he’s way too dehydrated for long fucking sessions as it is. still, he will try his hardest to keep you satisfied, even if in other ways. he knows how sensitive you are to many things, that’s why he’s always there to comfort you, both with his hugs, and his mouth on your sweet pussy. he knows that you get the need to crawl inside his skin, that nothing feels close enough. that’s why he will cuddle you so much until you become one, or he will literally let you feel his whole weight while he’s on top of you, hips rolling in deep movements as he’s fucking you. he knows how you need him to verbally show you that he loves you. that’s why he will gently kiss your forehead and whisper a little “i love you” every few hours-or, he will grab your neck, spit in your mouth and say “you are mine.” he will take care of you, that’s for sure-in which way however?🤷‍♀️ who knows
dino-oh poor boy. oh this poor poor boy. the moment you get your hands on him, he knows it’s going to be an eventful night. he doesn’t even fight it-the moment you grab the front of his shirt and practically throw him on your bed, he just accepts it and prepares for the longest and best fucking session of his life. he gets unusually submissive, he does whatever you want him to. you grab his hair and drag him to your pussy so he can eat you out? say less, your wish is his command. you want him to fuck you in a certain position? he’s breaking his back from how fast he tries to get into that position. he just wants to give you everything you might need. he can’t really explain why, he just…does. seeing you so needy, but still being needy only for him? it turns his brain into a mush. he’s already whipped for you as it is, but add all the emotions and pheromones while you are ovulating? you get simp dino maxxed out on the attitude “yes ma’am”.
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luvmailing · 5 months ago
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"i've always wanted something simple..."
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「 tws + notes: no tws, potentially ooc, unedited as BAWLS, what do you mean it's been a while since i've last written, domestic (kinda), lowkey heavily implied romance,,,, blame the spirit of valentine's day (。﹏。) 」
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「 gn!reader, can be platonic or romantic relationship <3 」
↳ ft. bruce wayne, dick grayson, jason todd, and tim drake
author's note: yeah so... i'm still dc rotted. here are little things that i just find cute つ﹏⊂ <33 gonna keep it 120% w/ u, life is BUSY!!!! but we ball regardless :D you know im gonna find time to write my superhero fanfics anyways >:3
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▸ BRUCE loves when you wear his clothes. simple but recognizable, his clothes become a silent way of saying "they're with me." and considering that most of the pieces in his wardrobe that are downright iconic, almost all of gotham knows who's jacket you're wearing when you step out in it.
he's not insecure by any means, and it isn't quite a display of possessiveness— but rather, affection and devotion. you're special to bruce, and even if it's through subtle means, he's more than happy to show it.
▸ DICK likes to have you within reach. no reason in particular, he says, but you know that's not quite true. maybe he's secretly a little ashamed of being so clingy. either way, he wants (or needs) you to be close to him.
it doesn't really matter to him how he achieves this either. whether it's his hand in yours, his arm around your shoulders, his hand resting on the small of your back, or his arm linked with yours— he's happy as ever. if you're a fast walker and by some miracle, you weren't already holding hands, dick's not beyond tugging your shirt from behind to reel you back in.
"are you trying to escape me? i'm wounded." dramatic.
▸ JASON loves helping you run errands. to be completely honest, he would be content doing just about anything as long as you're around, but there's something special about being the one that you drag around for mundane things like buying groceries or getting gas.
he also loves to be helpful to you. always offering to get the things off higher shelves that you just can't reach, always getting out the car first to pump your gas— there's just something about that shy but pleased smile of yours that makes doing little things for you so much more rewarding. and, yeah, it's silly but jason's heart practically leaps out his chest when you thank him by planting a little kiss on his cheek.
▸ TIM loves to take naps with you. he values the time that he has with you, and of course, would much rather spend it conscious— but there's something particularly special about being able to rest at your side. it's a declaration of trust from him— and there's an undeniable tenderness he feels when he realizes that he's able to let his guard down for once.
except... tim doesn't notice how frequent this habit has become. he's gotten so used to napping with you, that if he's feeling like he's been awake for too long, he'll hunt you down just to get some rest. your plans of reading peacefully on the couch are thwarted— prepare for him to wrap his arms around you while he shifts to lay his head on your chest. no words, no questions— guess you'll have to set aside whatever you're doing now.
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— reblogs always appreciated!
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pshbites · 6 months ago
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NA JAEMIN AS YOUR BOYFRIEND
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pairing : bf!jaemin x gf!reader genre : est relationship, pure fluff warnings : petnames, crying, kissing, and not proofread synopsis : headcannons that bf!jaemin would do wc : 1k a/n : anotha nct fic we cheer also yes this is another one for lizzie pookie bear i larb u. also i tagged some moots who i know r seasonies so sorry for any unwanted tags!
if u enjoyed pls like & reblog, feedback is also always appreciated!!
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texting you for no reason. jaemin loves telling you everything. whether it be miniscule or important, it didn’t matter because you would know. some days he would text you while you’re at work and tell you what he’s currently doing. sometimes it’s sweet things like “saw a flower and i thought of you” or sometimes it’s just the most random things like how many red cars he saw that day (it was 5). he always tells you and you reciprocate his excitement with each detail. each text rant always ends in him confessing his everlasting love for you like he always does and of course, you reciprocate it in the exact way he said it to you.
jaem: i miss you
jaem: my baby precious yn i always love you
jaem: can’t wait to have dinner with you tonight, are you excited
jaem: i’m making your favorite princess
jaem: where are you :((((
jaem: maybe you’re driving to the office :/
jaem: drive safe baby love you
you: i miss you more
you: i was driving :) but im now in the parking lot of the office
you: and of course i’m excited for dinner baby
you: my jaem i love you so much more than words can express
you: see you tonight <33
jaem: see you princess <3333
putting you first. there would be times where the two of you would be out and about with your group of friends. jaemin would be talking to them and enjoying his time but he looks towards you and you just aren’t feeling it anymore. right then and there jaemin would decide to leave and call it a night because you aren’t enjoying yourself. he always prioritizes you over himself and some problems come with that but most of the time you know he’s doing it out of the kindness of his heart. 
leaving traces of you around his apartment. the two of you don't share an apartment so sometimes you sleepover at jaemins apartment or hang out there. since you already spend so much time there, you leave behind things. it started out small like a hair tie or a jacket but then it started becoming your slippers or a set of your pajamas. once jaemin started to notice, he cleared out a drawer for you and set all your items in there. partially he did it so you didn’t rummage through his things to find your own but at the same time he did it because it felt that a piece of you was still there when you weren’t. because of this he started collecting your things in that drawer but would always display some trinkets or stuffed animals you left on his bed. he also developed a love for stuffed animals because you adored them so much so he began buying them to put on his bed so you would be more at home. his first priority is to always make you comfortable.
buying anything that reminds him of you. your bedside counter was filled with random trinkets jaemin bought for you simply because it looked like you. you weren’t sure how a peacock with a white scarf resembled you but jaemin did know. he saw you in every detail of his life so if something reminded him of you he would buy it without question and give it to you that very day. in your collection you had all sorts of things and sometimes it was a hassle to arrange them all while cleaning but you never complained because how could you complain to that sweet face. 
always having you in arms reach. when you and jaemin were in public with your other friends he always had you close to you, not for any possessive reason but because he always craved your touch. he always had to be touching you in anyway possible, whether that be your hand intertwined with his or his hand on your thigh or anything. he always wanted to be close to you because it grounded him, it wasn’t like you minded either. you loved how clingy he gets when you aren’t right next to him, it was cute. while having you in arms reach he draws circles on you, or writes his name on that spot over and over, engraving it in your soul. he loves seeing you try and ignore it but failing miserably.
kisses when you least expect it. most of the time jaemin always kissed your cheek before you left his apartment or left a date to go somewhere, but sometimes he would catch you off guard and kiss your lips. in these moments you felt jaemins tender love the most, his lips always touched yours with the utmost affection he could give. his hand would rest on your hip before he pulls back and smiles, saying goodbye. clearly he didn’t know what effect he had on you because the rest of the day you would lightly graze your lips, smiling at the thought of him. 
laughing along to your contagious laughter. something about your laugh does it for jaemin, it doesn’t matter if the joke you told wasn’t entirely funny but hearing your laughter is like a sweet melody, he starts to smile and laugh along with you. he loves these moments with you because he sees a sparkle in your eyes, making him smile so sweetly at you before he begins to laugh along. to jaemin anytime you smiled or laughed, it was the happiest moment. he adored hearing your cute laugh even after a lame jake.
your smallest achievements are his greatest achievements. it could be as simple as “i walked ten thousand steps today” and he’s throwing a party all for that. to jaemin any small feat of yours is a great accomplishment for him because he wants to celebrate you for as long as you let him. he always wants to be the person who make the biggest deal out of the smallest things because he knows how good you feel about yourself because of that. a simple “im so proud of you my princess” goes such a long way for you.
kissing away the tears. crying in front of jaemin was something that rarely happened because of what a great boyfriend he was. but sometimes life got hard for whatever reason and you need a good cry, in times like those jaemin kisses those tears off your face. he hates seeing you cry because a part of him breaks no matter what, it hurts him more than it does you but he’ll never say that. so instead he’ll sweetly hold your face, kissing those tears away softly. “it’ll be okay my baby, i promise” he tells you, trying to reassure you and it works like a charm everytime.
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taglist : @cupidhoons @leeechin @chobunz @fatalhoon @junislqve @tzyunaes @ourhees @geutori @hyuckworld @lqfiles @haedgaf @ronniee-26 @fairqves
dream taglist
© all rights to pshbites 2025. please do not copy, translate or repost my works
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totheblood · 1 year ago
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protective!spencer reid headcanons
a/n: this is a remake of one of my headcanons i did for ellie but i completely rewrote it cause yea... AI AUDIOS throughout, also reblogs, asks, and replies are so appreciated and encouraged! thank u kisses
spencer is extremely protective of you, more than anyone else in his life... he just doesn't know how to show it
he knows that the job entails danger and as much as he doesn't like it, there isn't much he can do about it
but that doesn't stop him from trying
when you partner up on cases together he always makes sure he enters first, a hand outstretched to make sure you're always covered
"it's clear, you can come on in now," he would whisper, gun still drawn. 
"spence, you don't have to do that every time."
"i know," he'd say with a small smile, "but i want to."
he tries not to coddle you. he has seen you take down unsubs twice your size(which he would be lying if he said it didn't turn him on), but sometimes his protective instincts just take over.
he'd rather put himself at risk than see you hurt. even after you're cursing him out, hands in a balled up fist banging on his kelvar vest. 
"what the fuck was that?" you'd yell, face getting hot, "i had him, and you could've gotten yourself killed,"
with an ice pack pressed to his forehead where the unsub got a punch in he closed his eyes gently, "i know, i know... i didn't even think, i just saw his hands on you and i just... look, i'm sorry for scaring you but i'm never going to be sorry for protecting you."
but when you get injured on a case, he just loses it
"what were you thinking, running in like that with no back up?" he'd scold while gently dabbing at the wound on your arm. 
"spence, I'm fine, it's just a scratch."
"just... be more careful next time, okay?" he'd say softly, looking around to make sure no one was watching before pressing a gentle kiss to your forhead, “i… can’t lose you.”
or if you were partnered with someone else and you came back with even a semblance of a bruise, he'd have his eyebrows furrowed, lips twisted into a scowl as he approached you, hands gently holding your arms, his face softening when you wince at the contact
"what happened?" he'd say voice tight, looking up at morgan who was trailing in behind you, looking guilty as ever. 
as derek opened his mouth to speak, you spoke up, "it wasn't his fau-"
"i didn't see him coming," morgan shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose, "i got him off of her the minute he was on her."
"he shouldn't have had a chance to be on her," spencer spat back angrily.
"spence, it all happened in a matter of seconds," you say, voice sickeningly sweet as you tried to sooth his nerves, "i didn't see him coming either,"
"i know," he sighed, closing his eyes as he took a shaky breath in, "i know, but all it takes is one second and you could be..."
"i know," you pull him into a hug, his tall frame leaning down to wrap you in his arms, "but i'm here and i'm okay."
his protectiveness extends beyond the field too. 
the team would be out for drinks at o'keeffe's, you with a saltrimmed glass as you sat next to him. as you licked the edges, and drank your margarita with a satisfied grin, he would smile to himself, his smile dropping the minute a tall gruff man approached the two of you 
spencer's fingers twitch as the man puts his hand on the small of your back, taking notice in how your body tenses immediately and you laugh nervously. 
when he was in front of the team he wasn't your boyfriend spencer, he was your coworker spencer and as much as you planned on keeping it that way, spencer's patience was wearing thin each second the man's hand was on you. 
he'd cringe as you lean away from the man, mumbling some excuse like "i have a boyfriend," which made spencer's lips quirk upwards, just for a moment before he realized the man was still leaning into you, whispering, "he doesn't have to know,"
it's then that he steps in, getting up from his seat and stepping in between you and the man, flashing his badge at him with a quirked eyebrow and tight voice as he said, "i believe my colleague has made it clear she's not interested."
after a long case, one he knows hits you harder than the other's he is insisting you go to his apartment with him, his hands linking in yours the minute he's in the car and rubbing soothing circles into your palm
his voice is soft as he speaks over the radio, "everything okay, baby?"
"yeah," you would mumble, but he knows you too well and he knows that's not true. but he also knows you well enough to not bring it up again, choosing to distract you with your favorite songs on the drive or a warm bath when you get home, pressing sweet kisses all over your face as he bathes you
when you're sick, he shows up with:
homemade soup (his mother's recipe), herbal teas, and your favorite books which he reads to you, despite your protests for him to stay away.
instead he'd be telling you to open up as he fed you chicken soup while speaking to you gently, "did you know that chicken soup can actually help reduce inflammation? the chicken and vegetables in chicken soup actually inhibit the migration of neutrophils which can help you breathe better."
in public, his eyes always find you. especially at work he is glancing over at you from his desk, pen in his hand tapping the desk as he looks over at you for the thirteenth time that hour. 
"she's fine, kid. she's not going to magically disappear from her desk," derek teases, as he leans on spencer's desk, looking over at where your eyes finally met his and gave him a soft smile. 
"i know. i just like seeing her smile," spencer replies, voice soft as he smiles back at you. 
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horsegirlwarcrimes · 3 months ago
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for @skeren ◝(ᵔᗜᵔ)◜
"Mu-shidi?" Yue Qingyuan asked.
Mu Qingfang was sitting on a decorative rock in one of Qian Cao Peak's small meditation gardens with his head in his hands. Yue Qingyuan paused, hesitating at the edge of the garden as he watched Mu Qingfang's shoulders heave with a deep sigh.
"Zhangmen-shixiong. In your purview as sect leader, do you believe I have the power to medically relieve someone from their position of authority on the grounds of madness?" He asked.
"Ah, I should have known this was coming," Yue Qingyuan said. He approached and sat next to Mu Qingfang on the rock, folding his arms over his knees and offering a small smile. "Will Mu-shidi finally be requesting this one's resignation?"
Mu Qingfang snorted a laugh and uncurled, but not without rubbing once more at his brow. "Actually, I meant myself."
"You?"
Mu Qingfang turned to look at him. Yue Qingyuan's brows shot up, startled at the absolutely exhausted and frantic look on his face. The healer was pale, his eyes shadowed, and Yue Qingyuan realised for the first time that some of his hair was slipping out from his wooden guan.
"What happened?" Yue Qingyuan asked, reaching out to catch Mu Qingfang's wrist. Mu Qingfang allowed the contact, not protesting at the reversal of their usual position as Yue Qingyuan probed his meridians, which Yue Qingyuan thought was a sign something was truly wrong.
"It's Shang-shidi," Mu Qingfang said gravely, which was not what Yue Qingyuan was expecting.
"What do you mean? Did something happen to Shang Qinghua? Did he—do something?"
"Is Zhangmen-shixiong familiar with the Bleeding Heart-Tongue Berry?"
"The one that causes full-body hemorrhaging?"
"No, that's the Crimson Bleeding Heart Berry."
"Oh. Oh, the one that requires oral dual cultivation to cure the deadly fever?"
"No, that's—it doesn't matter! The Bleeding Heart-Tongue Berry's sap and flesh is a powerful truth serum. It compels anyone who consumes or comes into physical contact with it to say whatever is on their mind, with complete honesty."
Yue Qingyuan looked around nervously. "We don't have an outbreak, do we?"
Mu Qingfang sighed one more, pushing his hand under his glasses to press against his eyes. "Shang-shixiong came into contact with some when he was on his last mission off the mountain. I have no idea how, since he was assigned to go secure a trade deal to the North East and they only grow in the South West, but—"
"But he was afflicted, and is now compelled to speak the truth?" Yue Qingyuan asked.
Mu Qingfang slipped his hand from Yue Qingyuan's so he could grip his arms, leaning in intently.
"He is driving. Me. Insane."
Mu Qingfang led Yue Qingyuan to one of the nearby patient rooms. Inside, Shang Qinghua sat at a low tea table, sipping at a cup that smelled medicinal and poking at some nuts and seeds on offer. Nothing looked amiss—Shang Qinghua didn't look damaged or ill, and the room was neat and orderly.
When they entered, Shang Qinghua's head shot up.
"Mu-shidi! Zhangmen-shixiong! This one is—not super glad to see you! Not that you're not great. Mu-shidi, I really appreciate how you keep us all alive. Remember that time I accidentally drank ink as a disciple and you had to pump my stomach? Yeah, I so am glad you were there to do that and not let me die. And Zhangmen-shixiong, you're very hot, and I love that, and I find how sad you life is—well, troubling actually, although not enough to do anything about it. You kind of make me uncomfortable to be around. But the hotness helps! Not right now, though. Right now I would love if you would leave, because I really don't want to tell you about anything I am thinking about, because I just got done spending three days sucking demonic dick and I really don't want to answer any follow up questions about—"
Shang Qinghua's eyes went wide. He grabbed a handful of the snacks and shoved them into his mouth, presumably hoping to stem the flow of words. Instead he immediately choked on them and coughed up walnuts and melon seeds over the table.
Yue Qingyuan rubbed his forehead. "Ah. I think I see the problem."
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starsofang · 9 months ago
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CALL OF THE SEA / PART TWELVE
pirate poly!141 x f!reader tw: NSFW, MDNI, heavy topics such as death, blood, and past trauma mentioned masterlist a/n: thank you for all your support while i grow through a difficult time!! i appreciate all of you for being so patient and loving. long chapter for u!! <3
When a group of unhinged pirates invade your small village, you're whisked away from your peaceful home and thrown on to a voyage out at sea. Forced to obtain a new role as their medic, you have no choice but to accept your fate as you join their forces and aid them in their treacherous travels.
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Ghost didn’t remember much about his childhood. His mind blocked it out for him. But he did remember the pain and suffering he went through at such a young age.
He didn’t deserve that. Seeing his family, massacred in front of him. The blood mixed with the metallic scent that even now seemed to tinge his nose with a nostalgia that made him sick.
He was only a child, yet that was the day Ghost was born within him.
It was like an awakening. He saw how cruel the world could be through a pure lens and it tainted his vision red. Nothing was ever the same that day, and gradually, Simon was forgotten and Ghost was his new muse.
He could recall the nights he spent alone, digging through waste bins and slumping out on the streets like a dead dog. Stealing bread from shop merchants and having to run, barefooted to avoid getting beaten. Freezing to death on the street corner when winter came around and the pure snow covered the ground in a blanket.
It was scary for a boy his age. Dehumanizing. He didn’t deserve that.
He thought he was lucky when a ship crew came along, parading the streets to offer security. A job, a place to sleep, and meals — it seemed perfect for somebody who had absolutely nothing.
He couldn’t have been more wrong.
Ghost never saw Simon again after that day. He was lost somewhere at sea, hidden under the roar of waves. Ghost didn’t know where to look for him until soon enough, Simon had disappeared and Ghost replaced him. Graves made sure of that.
A captain, like hell he was. Ghost knew something wasn’t quite right about Graves the moment he met him, yet as a child, he was desperate. Once he was in, it was too late, and the broken pieces of him became completely irreparable.
Graves held a devilish aura about him, one Ghost could practically see radiating around him. Every step he took was one closer to chaos.
No matter the destination, Ghost was held on by a leash with Graves being the handler. The sights Ghost saw, some being from his doing, was something he’d never get back. It was as if reliving that very day where he lost everything.
Living amongst Graves’ crew was worse than living in hell. He would’ve preferred it. To be banished for his sins, to taste the sweet nectar of death, and live his eternity punished. Anything to stray from Graves and his ship.
When he saw the way you looked—the darkness looming over you, the distress in your eyes—he saw himself. And when he saw Graves, he saw the life that was stolen from him.
That red that clouded his lens when he was a child was all he could see. Pure, angry red.
Now, standing in Price’s quarters, that red only grew angrier. This time, for you—for putting you in the same position he’d been stuck in for years.
You didn’t deserve that.
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Your mind was a whirlwind of chaos. It was struggling to digest the information given to you. So much at once and you could barely manage to keep yourself together.
Everybody looked sorry for you. Ghost looked enraged. Price was lost. Soap and Gaz were remorseful. It was too much.
You hated that they looked at you like that. You hated when they didn’t look at you like that more. Having them worry, when for the duration of your stay it was like walking on burning rocks, it felt strange.
Their own worry caused yours as well.
“What is that?” you asked. “The mark of death. I— I don’t know what that is. What does that mean?”
You were becoming more frantic. The panic that ensued was growing, and you could tell it bothered Price. He was quick to grasp your shoulders, settling you.
“It’s complicated,” he explained quietly, hushing you. “That man you saw? His name is Phillip Graves. Some call him the Devil of the Seas. He’s a wicked pirate who feeds off of the innocent, their fear. None of us know what he truly is, not even Ghost, but we believe he’s apart of something sinister.”
“What, like he’s sold his soul? Made amends with the Devil? You are talking madness!” you exclaimed, exasperated.
“We are talkin’ truth,” Price corrected. He was as patient as ever, yet still held the firmness of a leader. “He’s that of a reaper. Souls is what he wants. The mark of death is his contract, you may say.”
“But you are not telling me what the mark does,” you cried.
Your head hurt. The world was spinning. You didn’t understand.
“I think it’s quite obvious what the markin’ is, dove,” the Captain said solemnly. “It is only by miracle it hasn’t happened to Ghost yet.”
“So I am to die? Is that it?” You flickered your gaze between each man. Your eyes told a million stories, and each of them were ones of fear and anguish. “I am going to die?”
“No,” Ghost snapped. You looked at him. He seemed as pain as you were, but the anger was taking over logic. “You ain’t dyin’. Not today, not tomorrow. M’not lettin’ it happen.”
“Ghost,” Soap tried, but he was quickly shut down.
“I said no,” he repeated resentfully. “Price, show her the map.”
Price turned to him, stiffening. It seemed he still didn’t quite want to let you know the full truth. Now, you felt it was to protect you rather than leave you out. It was too late for protection.
The Captain silently walked to his desk, pulling open the old drawer with a slam, shaking the table. He pulled out the map you’d seen so long ago, unrolling it and slapping it on the table.
“Come, dove,” he called, and you listened.
The men surrounded the desk with you, staring down at the map. The ink was still the same as it was before—islands crossed out with an X, while one remained circled.
“Suppose it’s time you knew, hm?” he asked, offering the smallest of smiles. You found that you missed his real one. The one he tried to hide when he found a joke of yours humorous.
Your nerves shot up. Your emotions were at an all-time high. You were scared, scared to find out the truth.
“These islands,” he began, tracing his finger along the map to point at the ones with an X, “are all land marked by Graves. Every single one, we went to in search of a medic. The one in the poem, remember?”
The one who heals the ill and poor
shall be the cure to all demise.
You weren’t sure how it linked to you. You’d never met Graves, nor had you met your pirate crew until they took you away. The connection wasn’t there. It didn’t make sense.
“Yes, I remember,” you confirmed quietly. “What does it have to do with me?”
“We searched for a medic from every village, yet when we arrived, they were famished with death, or on the brink of,” he explained. “All of the villages were all succumbin’ to Graves’ mark of death. We think he was attemptin’ to get rid of all villages as much as he could so we wouldn’t be able to find their medics. We don’t know how, but he knows we have the prophecy, and he doesn’t like it.”
“And how do you know the prophecy is related to Graves?” you questioned. “How do you know it relates to me?”
“Ghost got the prophecy a long time ago when he was still on Graves’ ship,” Soap piped in. His hands rested on the table and he leaned over the map, but his eyes bore into yours. “He was searchin’ for answers even then. This is all he got.”
You couldn’t imagine the desperation Ghost must have felt, knowing Graves had him under his despicable spell. Not knowing whether he was going to live or die.
Your heart ached.
“And me?”
The room went silent, as if your words burned a wound in them.
“Your village had the mark, yet nobody had suffered from it,” Gaz said quietly. His eyes were soft when he looked at you with the unmistakable glimmer of pity in them. “We knew you were the one we were lookin’ for.”
“My village was not cursed,” you denied, shaking your head. “There is simply no possibility. We rarely got outsiders unless they were coming to browse the merchants.”
It clicked in your head how quickly it must’ve happened. Graves, visiting your village under the guise of an innocent shopper, gearing his interest towards the various merchants that littered your small streets.
It would’ve been so easy for him. So terribly easy.
Your people died to Price’s crew, but the true evil was the man who gave the pirates reason to ensure a massacre.
“That’s why you did what you did,” you muttered to yourself in disbelief. “You killed them because of him. You killed Mary because of him.”
“The curse would’ve taken over the moment you left,” Gaz explained. “You were the shield protectin’ them without even knowin’. You’re meant to fulfill the prophecy, grantin’ you immunity until we found you.”
All this talk about a prophecy made you want to scream, cry, yell, anything. Why you? Why were you the one chosen, and why did it have to be you?
You wanted your life back. You didn’t want to be apart of this.
Before you knew it, tears welled up in your eyes. They stung, causing you to blink rapidly. You didn’t want to seem weak, but in this moment, you were.
“Dove?” Gaz called out, concerned.
“I don’t want this,” you cried, shaky hands balling into fists. “You—you knew I was apart of this and never told me. You kept me in the dark for this long, you hid me from the truth, and for why?”
“We don’t have all of the information yet, dove, please—” Price began, but you shut him down.
“Bullshit!” you shouted, and he reeled back in surprise. You had been outspoken before, plenty with the Captain especially, but he had never seen you lash out so fiercely. “You took my life away because you assumed I was the one in your ridiculous prophecy on a whim. You took a guess and went with it. I am hardly a proper medic, let alone worthy enough to be that person for you, so why have you chosen me?”
“You must understand, you were the only medic left alive,” Price defended. “We had no choice. We did what we had to do.”
“At my expense,” you argued.
“At all of our expense,” he retorted. “I did not care for your life when we stole it. I did not care for it when you were locked in the brig. I cared for Simon’s.”
You fell silent, whipping your head to look at Ghost. You’d heard Price call him Simon before, by a slip-up, but now he had said it purposely. Ghost simply looked away, arms crossed over his chest.
All that talk before and now, at your aid, he was as quiet as a street mouse.
“Without you, he will die. We do not know when. Graves hasn’t killed him due to the thrill of holdin’ his life in his hands. It’s a toy to him. He can take his life away at any moment, and I would not allow that, even if it meant ruinin’ yours.”
Price’s cheeks were reddened from the frustration and helplessness he was feeling. He was a Captain trying to save his crew’s life, uncaring of yours—in the beginning, at least.
Now, the mere thought of losing both had him kneeling like a pitiful dog to the Devil of the Seas.
“I do not wish to be here,” you murmured, taking a step back. Soap opened his mouth to retort, but you silenced him. “I need to be alone.”
The Captain gave you a sad smile, nodding his head. He was respecting your wishes.
“As you wish,” he agreed, and you made your way out of the suffocating quarters, returning to your shared one with Gaz and Soap.
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“Dove,” a voice called out. It was quiet, like it was whispering, yet to you, it sounded loud. You hated its voice.
It was black. Your eyes couldn’t adjust to the light, no matter how much you shifted them to look around.
Your body felt heavy, as if something was weighing on you. Your lungs were tight, and when you opened your mouth for air, nothing came in. You slapped your hands over your throat, clawing at the skin.
Why couldn’t you breathe? You felt like you were drowning. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t take in an ounce of air, and you could feel your lungs beginning to protest.
A cold panic came over you, like an icy wave consuming you in its dangerous waters. You tried to move your legs, but they were stuck. They were too heavy.
All you could do was helplessly paw at your throat, praying to gasp for a breath, praying that the Gods had mercy on you.
“Dove,” it whispered once more. Where had you heard the voice before? You knew it, but your mind was blanking from the lack of oxygen.
“I’ll be seeing you, dove,” it mocked.
Dove. Dove. Dove.
“Dove!”
You shot awake, a sharp gasp invading your lungs. The burning in your chest was harsh, and it was as if you truly hadn’t been breathing.
Coming to, you blinked the groggy confusion away, lifting a hand to wipe at your eyes.
Soap peered down at you, his eyebrows knitted worriedly. His hands were on each side of your shoulders, as if he’d shaken you awake, and when you realized you had been asleep, you only guessed that’s what he was doing.
“I kept callin’ ye but ye weren’t wakin’,” he said wearily. “Are y’alright?”
You glanced around the room, taking it in. Gaz’s bed. The clothes strewn on the floor. The mess on the small desk that you’d never seen occupied.
You were no longer suffocating in darkness. It was a mere dream—no, a nightmare. A terror.
You were safe.
“I don’t know,” you confessed breathily, still catching air.
Your heart pounded in your chest as you recalled the nightmare. You couldn’t remember the voice, not when you were fearing a death that was merely fake, but you knew now.
“Tell me,” Soap urged gently, taking a seat next to you on the bed. You sat up to join him, frowning at the floor. “It’s okay.”
You risked looking up at him, searching his eyes. They were soft whenever they looked at you, and they’d been like that since the beginning. He was always patient, even when you did things that cost him a scolding from Price.
You felt like you could trust him, more than any of them.
“It was that man,” you explained. “Graves. I think he is messing with my head. I dreamt of dying, like… like I was drowning. I couldn’t breathe. The whole time, I could hear his voice, calling me out. Mocking me.”
Soap listened carefully, taking in every one of your words. He cared, that much you could tell, and the situation weighed heavy on him. The worry lines on his face were proof.
Graves was tormenting with your mind, feeding into your fear. He knew you were terrified, and he enjoyed it. The way he mimicked what he told you, whispering it the same as before, it sent chills down your spine and made your blood run cold.
You understood now why Ghost was always a mystery—because he was scared, too. He just hid it better.
“I am scared,” you confessed shakily. “I do not want to die.”
“And ye won’t,” he assured, but you shook your head.
“You do not know that,” you argued. “None of you do. You have not given me a chance at life. I am stuck in this without a choice, and I am the new target. It’s not fair.”
Soap’s expression dropped into one of guilt. His focus shifted away from you, avoiding your eye, before returning back to you.
“It’s not,” he agreed quietly. “We’ve done to ye what Graves did to Ghost. Treatin’ ye like—like burdening scum, like ye don’t matter. I can’t express to ye how sorry I am for everythin’.”
You didn’t want an apology, but you accepted it nonetheless. It was the first anybody had truly apologized for the mess you were thrown into. Maybe it was something you needed without realizing. You felt a sliver of weight lifted.
“I never had a family,” you told him, staring down at your feet that hung over the side of the bed. The shoes Soap surprised you with stared back at you. “The village did not like my values or my lifestyle. It was hard being an outcast there, but it is even harder here.”
“Yer not an outcast.���
Looking back up at him, you found him smiling, a faint sparkle twinkling back at you.
“Not anymore. We thought ye were a little strange in the beginning, though,” he said, the end of his sentence bordering a tease.
You couldn’t stop your own smile from forming. Despite carrying the crushing weight of the world’s worries, as well as growing a headache with every word spoken from each of them ever since your arrival, you found yourself growing more fond over them the longer you lingered.
It’d been a bumpy road, and there were still miles ahead of you, waiting to unravel. But you couldn’t fully convince yourself that there wasn’t a part of you, yearning to belong with them.
“You are all very strange,” you retorted lightly. “I have never met such people as you before.”
“Thank ye.”
“It was not a compliment.”
Soap snorted, shaking his head at the banter. “The Captain is bitin’ tooth and nail in his quarters, thinkin’ he fucked this all up with ye. Never seen him that worried before, but with Graves bein’ around again, I don’t blame him.”
The statement caught you off guard, and you found yourself curious. “He is worried for me?”
Soap eyed you strangely, as if it had been obvious the whole time. “Ach. ‘Course he is. Cap’s got a good heart, even if it doesn’t seem like it.”
“I did not realize he cared for me after everything,” you confessed.
Soap hummed, looking down at his trousers and picking at a loose thread. “We all do.”
You stared at him dumbly, cocking your head in question when he didn’t elaborate. You had become acquainted with them, surely, you lived with them now after all, but you weren’t aware they truly cared.
When Price had told you they’d grown fond of you, you didn’t quite believe it. You assumed it was his way of convincing you to trust him, but it seemed that wasn’t the truth.
The two of you sat in silence, staring anywhere but at each other. The awkwardness grew, and it felt strange to feel that when the relationships had been too uptight even consider having those moments.
You took the time to weigh out your options. The Captain being worried, especially over messing things up with you, had you in a turmoil.
As much as you wanted to deny the path chosen for you unwillingly, you felt an obligation to please them. Yet, not in the way you initially thought.
You didn’t want to let them down.
Maybe you truly were as strange as Soap thought.
“Is he still in there?” you asked Soap. He perked up, nodding his head.
“Aye. He’ll be rottin’ in there before we know it.”
You pursed your lips, facing that inner battle once more before coming to a conclusion. “Would you like to join me, then?”
Soap raised his eyebrows, watching you stand from the bed. You shot him a warm smile, tilting your head at his confusion.
“For?” he asked.
“You all need a medic,” you said, giving a nonchalant shrug. “And I do not wish to die by the hands of a filthy pirate such as Graves. I am in this now, so I suppose I’ll simply have to deal with it, am I correct?”
Soap’s smile slowly grew at your sudden courage, standing up to join you. He reached out for you, and once you became confused, he looped your arm with his, grinning down at you.
“Sure are, dove. I’ll come with ye.”
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The Captain looked a mess when you entered his quarters with Soap. Ghost was beside him where Price sat at his desk, the map and prophecy still scattered on the table. The two of them were speaking hushed to one another, yet when the door opened and you stepped in, they went silent.
“She wanted to be alone, Soap,” Price protested, but you quickly shook your head, taking a step closer to the desk.
“It’s alright,” you assured. “I have had time to think.”
Price’s eyebrows raised and he glanced at Gaz for a brief moment before returning to you. “I see,” he hummed, nodding. “I have as well.”
You cocked your head, eyebrows furrowing. He gestured for Ghost and Soap to step out of the room, requesting privacy, and the sudden realization that you would in fact have to speak after your outburst made your nerves to churn.
Ghost gave your shoulder a light squeeze as he walked behind Soap, catching you off guard. When you looked at him, he stared forward, avoiding your gaze.
The door clicked shut as they left, and you stood uncomfortably in place, shifting on the balls of your feet.
“I owe you an apology,” Price began. “A true one. I may be a Captain, and I know in those regards, I come off rather violent. I can be a brute, I will admit, but I am also a man who knows times when he is right and wrong.”
He stood up from his chair, circling around the desk to face you. He leaned against the old wood, crossing his arms and clearing his throat. Upon quick inspection, you saw the faint smoke of his cigar swirling in its ashtray.
“I should not have treated you so unkindly since the beginning. I should have considered how scared you must have been, how alone it must feel,” he continued, eyes drifting off for a moment as if deep in perplexing thought. “I do not apologize for doin’ what I thought was right in that time to save my own, but I do feel sorrow for what transpired in your time bein’ here.”
You couldn’t help but wonder if Ghost had been the reasoning for this. He wasn’t a man of many words, but you knew the respect him and Price had for one another. It was safe to assume he’d speak with him privately regarding everything.
“I’d like to apologize as well,” you began, but Price stood up straight, quick to raise his hands in protest.
“You have nothin’ to apologize for—”
“I am sorry for lashing out the way I did earlier,” you cut off. Price stopped, lips pressing together. His gaze remained stuck on you, now that you had his attention. “It does not excuse what you have done to me, and I see you have realized that. If this is to be my life, I wish for compromise rather than seclusion.”
Price didn’t say anything at first. His eyes darted over your face, taking in your features. He saw the calmness you held compared to when you were last in his quarters.
You didn’t seem defeated, nor did you seem to simply agree for the sake of him and the others. You wanted this for yourself.
“I will grant you that,” he agreed in a hum, nodding once. “I do not wish for you to feel out of place no longer. You have had enough of that, I believe.”
You took in his words, and they made you smile. It was what you wanted to hear—no angry exchanges, no selfish banter. A simple compromise, one you both wanted.
“Graves came to me in a dream,” you told him. His expression soured. “I believe there will be plenty more instances where he will do that. Based off of what you have told me about him, I do not want to prolong his presence longer than I must. So, I’d like to be of help.”
Just as quickly as Price grew tense at the mention of Graves, he calmed down, shoulders relaxing when he realized your implications.
“Soap has not convinced you, yes?” he asked, uncertain. “This is your call. I may have taken you due to my own selfishness, but I give you the choice now. You do not have to be a part of it if you do not want. You are part of us now, but this is not your battle.”
“It is,” you disagreed, though remained a calm composure. For the first time around Price, you felt at ease in the same room. “If I am to be part of your crew, your family, then your battles are my battles. I may not have had a family, but I am certain that’s how it works. Does it not?”
Price stared at you; expression unreadable. It took mere moments for his lips to slowly curl up, granting you one of his rare smiles that seemed to radiate a certain light you’d never seen before. It caused your heart to pick up, though you were unclear as to why.
“That is how it works with us, dove,” he agreed softly. “Your battles are ours. You can count on it.”
“Wonderful,” you cheered with a smile of your own. “Shall we continue what wasn’t finished before, then?”
Price chuckled low under his breath, his amusement growing the longer you stuck around. He nodded, tapping his desk and calling you to it.
“Come on, dove.”
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shinysobi · 10 months ago
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pretty u
summary: when joshua, your best friend gets engaged, you can't help but feel as though you're missing out on something important. jihoon, your other best friend, kindly offers to set you up with one of his many friends. chaos ensues, seungkwan is an observer who knows everything, and unfortunately, mingyu is a hapless victim.
pairing: woozi x fem!reader
genre: crack, fluff, angst
word count: 10k~ish
warnings: alcohol consumption, general warnings apply
A/N: uhh..hi? this is the first time i've written rpf, and it makes all the more sense for it to be centred around woozi, my svt bias. this has no plot at all, and i just wrote it for fun and vibes...also unbetaed, so if you see any mistakes, no u did not :)) shout out to my twitter gc for cheering me on as i wrote this hehe u guys are the best
a/n 2: reblogs and comments are much appreciated! please tell me if you're liking this lmao
chapter 1 | chapter 2 | chapter 3 | chapter 4
Chapter 1
Whoever said that every love story is universal, was not lying, unfortunately. Every good love story is a mix of tropes that unfortunately work well together to form a coherent plot. And the longer you read books, the easier it becomes for you to identify (or avoid) these tropes.
The enemies turn into lovers.
The friends turn into lovers.
The inn only has one available bed.
Your brother’s best friend is somehow smoking hot and doesn’t see you as an annoying little sibling anymore.
Your one-night stand is your new boss, and he is inexplicably obsessed with you.
Your parents have forced you into an arranged marriage, and your partner is a. incredibly hot and b. also obsessed with you. You get the gist, so on, and so forth.
All love stories go for a trope that becomes the central conceit of the story, no matter how unique they try to be. The small-town girl/boy falls for the hotshot city lawyer/businessman/vague marketing executive and shows them the importance of family, and of course, of love, because without it, business is notoriously low. People need romance to feel something other than hatred in their already terrible lives, and books offer escapism. Escapism and on some other level, a sense of belonging. You can identify yourself with the girl who falls in love with her brother’s best friend, or the man who has feelings for his sworn enemy, or the person who has, surprise, fallen in love, with their best friend. Or their best friend’s brother. Take your pick.
And unfortunately, as a critic, reading romance implies wading through the countless reiterations of trope-y goodness on offer at every bookstore, and trying to find something that strikes a chord. It is a given, that one has to kiss some proverbial frogs in the meantime, and of course, any professional mishap has to be accompanied with a gossip session with one’s friends, where any complaints you might have about your work, is unloaded onto the brunch table, for my friends to laugh about.
Because at the end of the day, everyone is a character in their own kind of romance novel. A victim of the tropes, if you will. In my case, I am the perpetual single childhood best friend, who puts up with every single antic of the main character. In of course, an enemies-to-lovers romance. Apparently unrequited love sells too, if its written well. If not, then it just becomes one of many repetitive marketing gimmicks that frankly, don’t sit well with anyone, let alone someone like me, who critiques books for a living.
“It’s your attitude that’s a problem.” Jihoon says, taking a sip of his coffee, “you’ve been writing for the newsdesk for years and I have never seen you actually be satisfied with a book. There’s always something that could have been better. Maybe this is why you are so—”
“I am so?” I say, eyes narrowed, “finish that sentence, Jihoon.”
“You want me to?”
“Do you really have to fight every time we meet?”
Both Jihoon and I turn our head to the third person at the table, Joshua. Dressed impeccably in a freshly ironed pair of shirt and trousers, he looks far better than either me or Jihoon, because both of us look as though we have been through botched murder attempts. I am in a hoodie and sweatpants, and Jihoon is somehow worse than me, wearing a pair of shorts and a black t-shirt. His abandoned khaki bomber jacket hangs on the back of his chair, and I cannot believe I’m saying this, but he actually looks worse when wearing the jacket. Joshua looks as though he has been seated at our table by mistake. I’m slightly annoyed by this, but it seems as though Jihoon is more annoyed than me, “what do you mean we fight every time we meet?”
Joshua makes a vague hand gesture, “really? Look at us. You both are dressed as though you’ve been through a typhoon. I feel horribly overdressed.”
“I had a long night.” I reply, “worked overtime at the desk for the Sunday paper.”
“I came here straight from the studio.” Jihoon says, “I didn’t even go home to shower.”
“See, this, this is what I am talking about.” Joshua groans, “both of you dress like homeless people, and then when you come to brunch, you fight all the time. Do you guys never get tired of fighting?”
“Never.” Both Jihoon and I say in unison.
Joshua sighs, before picking up his knife and fork, “I give up. I can never get you two to agree on anything apart from the fact that you guys, apparently, don’t fight.”
“She needs to quit complaining about her job.” Jihoon points his fork at me, “she’s got the cushiest job imaginable, and she manages to complain about it all the time. Every week, she’s here complaining about something at her job.”
“As if you don’t complain about your job all the time too,” I reply, not one to back down from a fight, “you complain about the people at your job all the time as well. And it’s not as though your job is shitty; you literally work at the biggest music corporation in the country—”
“Guys!” Joshua half-yells, and I stop. Everyone is looking at the three of us, and unlike the two of us, he looks embarrassed. “Guys, if you have to fight every time we meet, maybe I suggest we stop this weekly brunch. Jesus—”
“Oh, he swore,” Jihoon whispers, and I giggle, “we finally made him take the Lord’s name in vain.”
“—it’s like you’re kids all over again. This isn’t freshman year of university, for heaven’s sake,” he takes an elegant sip of his coffee, “and for your information, Jesus isn’t the Lord. I’m not letting you guys get the satisfaction of hearing me fucking swear.”
“Does he hear himself?” Jihoon mutters. “I don’t think he does.” I whisper in response.
“Yes, I’m aware I said ‘fuck’, thank you very much.” Joshua sits back in his chair, “I’m proposing to Eunseo tonight.”
“Tonight?” Jihoon yells, bolting upright from his chair, and everyone in the restaurant looks at us, “you’re proposing to her tonight?”
Joshua grabs his hand to drag him back onto his chair, “yes, tonight. Are you stupid? Everyone is looking at us now.” He looks at me, “what do you think about it?”
Oh. Oh.
Remember when I said that my role in a romance novel is that of the eternally-spurned childhood friend? The one who has loved the main character from a distance, never really daring to express their feelings? Well, I’ve not known Joshua since my childhood, we met at high school, and it hasn’t been that long since I discovered that I might have a tiny, the most miniscule of crushes on him. But I’m that trope. The childhood friend who gets spurned, and the main character turns away to the actual love of their life, leaving only a broken heart behind. Too little, too late.
Well, who wouldn’t?
He’s tall, good-looking, gentlemanly, with just the right amount of unhinged, has a good, stable, get-off-at-the-right-time government job, and above all, he’s unflinchingly kind to everyone. Yes, including me and Jihoon, even though we make his life a living hell on most days. Realistically,  it was only a moment of time before either Jihoon or I had any feelings for him. And I was betting on Jihoon too. Fuck.
“Are you okay?” Joshua’s voice is soft, insisting, and all I can see when I break out of my reverie is the swoop of his collarbones as they disappear under the shirt, and suddenly I feel very dirty. Not just dirty, but also simply awful. Why am I out here thinking about his collarbones when he’s thinking about how to propose to his girlfriend? His very nice, very beautiful girlfriend?
“I’m fine,” I nod my head, “have you picked out a ring for her?”
“Not yet, but I have a kind of ring in mind already.” He says, turning to Jihoon and starting to talk about the different cuts of diamonds that are present at Tiffany’s, and how they suit different kinds of people. Eunseo, I learn, is partial to a pear cut. Jihoon, the idiot,  who can’t shut up when it comes to arguments with me, is unnaturally quiet, only offering comments here and there. It’s very uncharacteristic.
And then he gets that look on his face which is a signal for both me and Jihoon that we are about to hear an hour��s worth of praises of Eunseo, and I step in. Making a vague sign towards my completed plate of fish and chips (not that great, the fish was soggy) I say, “before he begins singing praises of his girlfriend, sorry, fiancé, can we get the check?”
“You keep saying it as though you don’t know how much I love her.” Joshua sounds annoyed  but unfortunately, I can see through his mask of fake annoyance, “I already paid.”
“Thank goodness, I forgot my wallet.” Jihoon smiles, “for a moment, I thought I would have to use my online wallet.”
“Aren’t you ashamed?” I elbow him lightly in the ribs, and he doesn’t even flinch. Apparently, music producers these days have to be certified gym rats, or they won’t let them into the building, “you’ve mooched off of Joshua and me for the past twelve years, maybe it’s time to start paying.”
“Maybe I do pay, but I just don’t like you.” Jihoon replies, sarcasm evident in his tone, “so I don’t want to pay for your meal.”
“You little—” I’m about to commit a murder in broad daylight, but Joshua, the sweet angel that he is, stops both of us, waving his card in between like a bullfighting matador.
“You guys just don’t stop, do you?” He grins, evidently thinking about how he’s going to propose to his loving girlfriend this evening. Nauseating. It makes me want to throw up. Because Joshua is not going to wake up one morning and decide that he wants to throw away his living relationship of five years to—to pursue his unfortunate best friend, who has nursed an unfortunate attraction towards him for the past year. That is never going to happen. So, let’s scratch that. That should not happen.
Because apart from being unfairly gorgeous and rich and beautiful and did I mention gorgeous? Eunseo is also unflinchingly nice, the kind of nice that leaves other people wondering if the person in front of them is real or not, or if they have some kind of hidden intentions that border on murderous or at the very least, fraudulent. She’s the one who took me under her wing when I was a freshman and had no friends except the two weird guys in my required sociology class, and thanks to her, at the end of four years of university, I had friends in the journalism club, people I come into contact on occasion such as weddings and the odd reunion.
Her niceness is also the reason why Joshua fell for her at first sight.
“I’m out.” Jihoon picks up the abomination of a bomber jacket from his chair, “and before you ask, no, hyung, I’m not helping you with picking out a ring for your girlfriend. You can do that yourself. Or ask her for help.”
And before Joshua can look at me and before I make a fool out of myself (yet again), I turn away, rejecting his proposal for looking at pear-cut diamond rings on a Sunday morning, “I’m ideologically against the institution of marriage. Do it yourself.”
Joshua sighs, because of course he has anticipated this. The fucker. “cannot believe you’re still on your Dworkin streak. Fine,” he says, getting up from his chair and walking out of the café, “I’ll get Eunseo’s ring myself. And when she asks, I’ll tell her that none of you helped me.”
“Ooh, threatening your girlfriend on us, I’m shaking in my boots,” Jihoon replies, sarcasm evident in his voice, digging through his pockets to get his car keys, “when are you planning to get the ring?”
“Later, in the afternoon,” Joshua is opening the door to his car, and looking at me, “do you want me to give you a ride? Your house is on the way.”
“She only takes buses and the subway,” Jihoon grins, “don’t you remember the time in university when she kept saying about how much she likes welfare policies and transportation benefits?”
“Shut the fuck up,” I reply, elbowing him, harder this time, and Jihoon flinches, “I’ll just go to the office. Jihoon will give me a ride.”
“When did I say that I’ll give you a ride?” Jihoon looks like he wants to begin an argument with me in front of the café, but he acquiesces, “ugh, fine. I’ll give you a ride. Your office is on the way.”
“I’m still not convinced that you simply wanted to ‘spend time with me’.” Jihoon grumbles an hour later, seated at his studio and fiddling with his computer. “You’ve been lying there and scrolling twitter for hours now.”
“Your couch is much better than my office chair,” I hum a non-committal reply, before making myself further comfortable into the soft plush material of his couch, “and I’m not scrolling on twitter, I’m trying to find another flat to move into.”
“Lease up?” Jihoon asks, “wasn’t your agreement still valid for at least another few months?”
“I’m just trying to get ahead of the curve,” I reply, “if I start looking from now, maybe I’ll get a better flat by the time the lease is up. My current flat is—”
“A shithole.” Jihoon finishes my sentence for me, “seriously, I don’t know how you manage to live there. And you’ve been holding onto that flat for the past seven years. everyone moved out of their university flats, but you managed to hold onto yours for so long.”
“That’s because it’s a good deal,” I mutter, “ugh, I can’t manage to find a single good deal on any of the flats.”
“Because you’re never satisfied with any deal,” Jihoon replies, “your ideal deal is if everything was free.”
“And I still maintain that housing should not be monetised.”
“Why thank you for that insight, comrade.” Jihoon puts a finger to his mouth, “shut up for a while, I’m trying to concentrate on this song.
“Who’s it for?” I sit up, intrigued, “a new artist?”
“The company’s new girl group.” Jihoon says, “I was asked to produce the title track for their debut. I only have four months on hand, and I still haven’t finished the track. The higher-ups are going to have my head for this.”
“No, they won’t,” I reply, “they like you too much. Speaking of—”
“—if you want me to give you an interview, I won’t, I’ve already told you five times,” Jihoon cuts me off, wheeling his chair away from me, “jeez, you’re tenacious.”
“Oh, but come on, it’ll be fun,” with an extra emphasis on come on, I think I’ve got Jihoon’s attention, “people keep speculating on the kind of person you are. I mean, people know Woozi, but do they know what kind of person he is, underneath all that secrecy? You’ve never given an interview, and you keep avoiding any kind of public appearance. One might think you hate the spotlight.”
“Even if I were to give an interview, I wouldn’t be giving it to you. Who knows how you’re going to spin my words.”
“I’m hurt, Lee Jihoon. This has hurt me.”
Jihoon turns around and blows me a raspberry. I roll my eyes. Is he twenty-eight, or just eight? “whatever you say won’t affect the way I think. I still won’t give you an interview.”
“Just so you know, I’m known to be an excellent interviewer.” I say, walking over to his chair, “come on, Jihoon-ah, give me an interview. Please?”
“No.”
“Pretty please?”
“No.”
“Pwease?”
He turns around at that, fixing me with a stare, “don’t you ever fucking do aegyo in front of me. I’m going to kill you if you do that again.”
“See, if you gave me an interview like I’m asking you to, then I would not have a reason to subject you to aegyo, but as things stand, you really give me nothing else to work with.”
“Ask Joshua for an interview then, if you’re so desperate for one,” the words coming out of anyone else’s mouth would have given me enough reason to walk out of the room, but Jihoon made them sound softer, almost romantic. It was funny, how he managed to change the intonations of every word, changing them to his whims. I suppose that’s what I do with words, and that’s what he does with sounds.
“Joshua is not the elusive Woozi,” I flop back onto the sofa as I counter, trying actively to not think about Joshua picking out a ring at Tiffany’s for Eunseo right at that moment, “he’s an adjunct professor. Not the most interview-friendly of all occupations.”
Jihoon looks at me, and for a moment, I think he’s going to ask me a very uncomfortable and difficult question, but at that moment, both our phones buzz simultaneously. I check the phone, and it’s a single message in the shared chatroom. Joshua has sent a message, a single picture of a pear-shaped diamond solitaire ring (don’t ask me how I know the cut of the diamond) with an attached message;
joshuji: picked up her ring! <3
“Damn, an exclamation point, and an emoji,” Jihoon says, typing out a reply in the chatroom, “our joshuji is entirely too far gone, isn’t he?”
I don’t say anything. Its far easier to pretend that you’re typing out a reply and can’t hear anything, especially when it comes to Jihoon. He’ll take anything in stride.
hoon: wow Eunseo has you whipped
big dick (canon): hey I think it’s cute
Jihoon sets his phone down with an audible clack, and fuck, I’ve messed up. Joshua is oblivious and blissfully happy in his own little life, but Jihoon? The Jihoon that I’ve known ever since our seats were beside each other in the sociology class that made me develop an irrational fear of surveyors? He’s single-minded whenever it comes to pursuing anything. One doesn’t become the most sought-after music producer in the industry with just talent, they need to be dogged in their pursuit of success. And unfortunately, when Lee Jihoon turns his mind to something, he accomplishes it, whether it’s producing a Billboard Hot 100 hit, or, judging by the way he’s looking at me right now, getting words out of my mouth.
“Okay, spill, I’ve seen this go on for long enough,” he says, getting up from the chair and walking over to the sofa, where I am currently hiding behind a throw pillow, “you’ve been weird for months now, and we need to talk about it.”
“We, don’t need to do anything,” I reply, “I’m perfectly fine. If something happened, I would tell you. Or Joshua. Or both of you, at the same time.”
“Like you inform us after every breakup of yours?” Jihoon laughs, “you mean to say you’re going to hold another one of your ‘meetings’ to tell me and Joshua about how some poor bastard made the mistake of trying to date you?”
“I’m actually nice when I date, and I can hold down a relationship for more than two weeks, Mr I-don’t-like-commitment. Tell me, how did your last date go? Did she walk out of the date itself, or did you ghost her?”
Jihoon blinks at me, and then, a slow, catlike smile passes over his features. Fuck.
“You’re being combative today,” he grins, and fuck, its infuriating how predictable I am, and how absolutely incapable I am of not taking his bait, “so, there is something that you’re hiding.”
“Ugh, I hate this.”
“Then you shouldn’t have taken the damn bait,” he replies, “do you want to tell me yourself, or do you want me to guess your little secret?”
“I’m not telling you anything, and its nothing you can suss out either.”
“I can just beat it out of you,” he smiles, flexing his arms, and I belatedly remember that Jihoon, to my disadvantage, had decided at the early age of twenty-one, that he was going to make up for his height by being The Broadest Man on Earth, and now carried a protein shake in his bag everywhere he went, that somehow tasted more disgusting than it looked. He could easily beat me to a pulp. And he would do it too, the little shit.
“Jihoon, remember the time I carried you home when you were drunk?” I don’t know how to do the specific variant of the thing they call ‘puppy eyes’, but I try my absolute best to emulate the little I know, “and you threw up all over my clothes? Remember? It was at Mingyu’s birthday party, and you got drunk on an empty stomach—”
“Don’t fucking do that,” he throws a pillow at me, “fuck, that’s creepy. Also, I got drunk and threw up on your clothes in my second year of university, damn, how long are you going to milk it for?”
“As long as I can,” I reply, “please, Jihoon, just this once.”
“Damn, fine, weirdo,” he stands up, going back to his chair, his back now towards me, “isn’t as though you like Joshua or something.”
I freeze, hoping that the intake of breath at that last sentence hasn’t been heard by Jihoon. I know I’m an atheist, I pray fervently, to whichever god that’s listening, God, Allah, Buddha, Jesus, if anyone’s listening, please, please, please, let Jihoon not notice—
“You like Joshua?”
Fuck.
“No.” I lie brightly, “I just—stubbed my toe on the table.”
Jihoon looks at me in a way that screams bitch, I know you’re a liar so don’t even try. “You know you’re a horrible liar, right?”
“I am?”
He nods, “its one of the many endearing things about you. But unfortunately, you’ve given yourself away now. Really, Joshua? The Joshua Hong we know?”
“Really, it isn’t like that,” I’m sweating, and praying Jihoon doesn’t notice that I’m sweating, “its nothing, and besides, I don’t even like him in that kind of way—”
“Do you want to fuck him?”
I choke on a breath and begin coughing. “What?” I manage to say, after I recover enough to breathe properly, “I don’t want to fuck anyone!”
“Great, because if you wanted to fuck him, it would have become massively awkward.” Jihoon shrugs, “since it’s one of those passing feelings, you can take care of it; it happens all the time. I once had a crush on you too. It’s bound to happen.”
“You had a crush on me?” I screech, “what the fuck, Lee Jihoon, you’re supposed to wait before dropping this kind of information on me!”
“Dude, its long gone,” Jihoon places a hand on my shoulder, a touch that’s meant to be reassuring, but it only suffices to make me angrier, “it was during my military service. I remember that you came with my parents to see me off, and it was—nice. So, I had a crush on you. I got over it when I got out of the military, though. Turns out seeing your best friend live in a hovel really does wonders for your lingering feelings.”
“For eighteen months?” I hold my head in my hands, “you had a crush on me for eighteen months? What the fuck kind of information is that? And you got out of the military three years ago!”
“M-hmm, see, that’s what I mean when I say these feelings will go away.” Jihoon looks sage, as if he’s imparting the secret to life and how to be a good Buddhist, and not bombarding my mind with information I would rather not know, “wait, have you masturbated to Joshua?”
“What the fuck?” I stand up, pacing the room at a speed that would closely rival that of an Olympian, “why would I masturbate to Joshua Hong?”
Jihoon shrugs, “people masturbate. You are a person. Hence the question.”
“Of course, I haven’t masturbated to—wait did you masturbate while thinking of me?” I’m yelling now, yelling and pacing the room like a woman possessed, because of course, Jihoon has made me lose my mind, “Lee Jihoon, did you jerk off to my pictures?”
He shrugs. “What are you going to do if I say yes?”
“I’m going to kill you, and then I’m going to kill myself,” I say, grabbing his shoulders, “you know what, Jihoon, lets do that. Let’s both die.”
“Why would I consent to a murder-suicide with you?” he sounds terribly composed, which again, does not bode well for the numerous murderous thoughts I have currently running through my head, “its just a little masturbation. I was twenty-three, I was bored to tears at the military camp, and I had a crush on you, so, I did what I did.”
“Which was apparently, masturbation.” I flop facedown on the couch, “I want to castrate you, you know that, right?”
“Figures. You’ve always been weird about sex.” Jihoon makes a face, “So, you didn’t tell me. do you want to fuck Joshua or not? Because if you do, then it just means that you want sex. If you don’t, then I can’t help you.”
“How can you help me in any way if I say I want to have sex with Joshua?” I ask, “even if I do, which I don’t, just by the way—”
“You want to jump his bones. Right.”
“—how can you even help me, short of getting me a male prostitute.” I pause, horror spreading through my features, “oh fuck. Jihoon, are you going to hire a gigolo?”
To his credit, Jihoon looks appropriately disgusted, “why would I hire a prostitute? No, I would set you up with one of my friends.”
“Who?”
He thinks for a while, then says, “Soonyoung.”
“No offence, but I’m about 90% convinced that Soonyoung is a furry.”
“Jeonghan-hyung, then.”
“He’s too similar to Joshua,” I groan, “why am I going along with this idea? This is literally the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”
“Then do you want to help yourself?”
“Masturbate to thoughts of Joshua? Yeah, like that’s gonna work.” I hold my head in my hands, “fuck, I have to sleep with Soonyoung, don’t I? I’m half-convinced he will do a tiger impression in bed.”
“I’m fairly convinced he mimics a roar when he orgasms.” Jihoon mutters.
“Oh, fuck, now I have to talk about orgasms with you,” I say, face buried in one of the pillows, “I have to sleep with one of your weird friends and then everyone will know about my crush on Joshua and I’ll be shunned from our three-person group forever and ever—”
“Calm down, no one is going to spill your secrets,” Jihoon says, “and I have other friends too, you know. They don’t talk as much as those idiots, but they are good people.”
“But I don’t want to fuck anyone right now.”
Jihoon stares at me.
“Okay fine, maybe a little bit.” I concede, “but still, not enough to warrant a setting-up. Maybe I’m just sexually frustrated.”
“Then go fuck someone!”
“It isn’t that easy!” I snap, and Jihoon looks surprised, because its so unlike me to be incandescent over something as stupid as this, but I can’t help the shiver of anger running over me, “it isn’t so fucking easy. If it were, I would have gone and slept with a stranger from a bar. Yes, I know it’s dangerous, but I would have done it. But I’m telling you now, its difficult for me to even know if I’m attracted to Joshua, and if my attraction means I want to jump him or whatever.”
“Then what does it mean?” Jihoon, it seems, is also incapable of not reacting to my moods and temper, he gets angry easily sometimes, “What does it mean when you tell me you’re attracted to someone? We’re twenty-eight, for fuck’s sake. What the fuck else do you mean?”
“I don’t know!” I half-yell, half-sob, “I don’t know what I want, and I don’t know if I want to sleep with anyone, least of all Joshua. I’m confused, and I don’t know what to do, and all I want is a little acceptance, not you rattling of a list of people I should sleep with in order to get over my feelings for Joshua—”
“Hey, I’m sorry.”
“—and you can’t even give me that, Jihoon,” I finish lamely, looking at his concerned expression, “yeah fine, I’m leaving.”
The door is loud when I close it behind me. to his credit, Jihoon doesn’t pursue me, because even if he’s abnormally idiotic in matters like these, he’s got some sense.
I deeply regret befriending either of them, because both Joshua and Jihoon have apparently no sense of boundaries between people. Joshua keeps assaulting my inbox with messages along the lines of oh look how much I love my girlfriend and how much I can’t wait to see you guys and celebrate my engagement because I’ve got my life sorted out unlike YOU fuckers, and Jihoon has rewarded me with radio silence ever since I blew up in his face about his idiotic idea regarding me having sex with one of his friends.
And, as a testament to my misfortunes in life, Joshua has decided that his proposal to Eunseo must be followed up with a party thrown in her honour, or at least a dinner as per his last text message; which of course, he has to send to the shared chatroom with a  variety of threatening and non-threatening messages.
joshuji: just saying if you guys aren’t here for the dinner, I’m never talking to you
hoon: aren’t proposals supposed to be an intimate thing? For couples??? Why are you asking us to be there????
joshuji: Eunseo wanted you guys to celebrate, too
joshuji: also, I’m proposing to her in the afternoon. I’m asking you guys to come over for dinner
hoon: maybe we should ask Eunseo about her feelings?
hoon: idk if she would want two others celebrating her engagement. Maybe we should stage an intervention and try to convince her to leave you. Its not too late already
big dick (canon): idk if I can make it guys
joshuji: I told u I wouldn’t be forgiving you if you don’t attend
hoon: you also tell us that every other week, I think we’ll be fine
joshuji: please?
hoon: don’t you fucking dare
big dick (canon): send us the location. Also, you’re paying
hoon: that’s the least he can do, after inflicting all this on us, and on her
joshuji: don’t worry, dinner is on me. [location attached] be there.
Fuck. Fuck my life, and fuck the two other people also in my life, and also, fuck Eunseo for good measure, because if it hadn’t been for her coming over to the mixer in third year, Joshua would never have fallen head over heels with her at first sight, and he wouldn’t have asked her out, and then I wouldn’t have had to deal with my conflicting feelings in the middle of a random Sunday. In the middle of me contemplating whether to clean my flat or not, too. If you look at it, its all her fault. Her fault for being so flawless and lovely and gorgeous that even I cannot bring myself to be jealous. The woman volunteers her free time at an animal shelter, for god’s sake. She’s the kind of person you write rambling horrible love sonnets about, and inflict them on your best friends after getting drunk and vomiting on a sidewalk at three in the morning. I should know, because that was Joshua when he was twenty-five.
Everything seems to go to shit at the same time, so of course, my landlord has to make an appearance when I’m in the middle of a neurotic episode over whether or not to do my laundry and contemplating hurling myself out of the window. His knocks are rhythmic, three seconds apart, which gives me enough time to prepare with a butcher’s knife in my hand. To ensure my safety, of course, in all my good conscience, I could never murder someone.
“Ah, yes, if it isn’t my favourite tenant,” he smiles, wide enough for me to see the gold tooth he had put in four years ago, “don’t worry, I’m only here for a routine check.”
“I bet you say that to all your tenants, Mr Kim.” I mutter, not moving from the doorway. If this man can sell me a glorified hovel posturing as a flat, I can disrespect him as much as I want. “I’ll get back to you on the renewal on my lease as soon as possible.”
The nosy bastard (man) that he is, Mr Kim cranes his neck around me to take a look inside my flat, “don’t worry, you’ve been one of my longest-running tenants for a while, you can take your time.” Then he looks at me, and the gold tooth is again on display. Ugh, I fucking hate it, “Is there a man inside? Boyfriend?”
“I don’t know why I’m saying this to you, Mr Kim, but I don’t have a boyfriend.” I reply, suppressing my urge to bury the knife held in my hand in his chest, “I was cooking, if you want to know that badly.”
“No boyfriend?” he tuts at me as though my dating life (or its lack thereof) is a personal slight against him, “but there are men coming over to your house all the time?”
“Those are my friends, Mr Kim,” I grit out, fake smile getting more brittle by the second, “men and women can be friends, you know.”
“Ah yes, I know, I know,” he nods, before clapping his hands like he’s received some sort of epiphany, “I forgot to tell you, but if you do decide to renew,” here he takes a deep breath, as if he’s bestowing upon me some great honour, “the rent will be raised. By twenty.”
“Twenty percent?” I screech, and the student in the flat next to me has probably heard it, “is that even legal?”
From the smile on his face, I don’t have to hear anything else. It probably is.
Mr Kim goes away from my line of sight (my kitchen knife’s line of attack) with another, equally insufferable, smile, and I close the door with a loud enough bang that the hinges rattle. I lied to Jihoon, because I only have two months left on my contract, and I still have had no luck in finding a new flat to move into. Everywhere I go, its either overpriced, or the facilities are too shitty, or the vibes are off.
Back in the room, I try to busy myself with laundry, when my phone rings. Its Jihoon, who’s apparently decided that making me angry is a full-time job for him. He’s making use of the private chat, which is rare for him, and somehow, equally annoying for me.
hoon: sorry about what happened in the studio this morning
hoon: offer still stands though
big dick (canon): that’s not how you apologise to someone
hoon: what? I’m trying to help my bestie get some
hoon: is that such a scandalous thing to ask for
big dick (canon): yes. Yes, it is
big dick (canon): also, fyi, I’m not sleeping with any of your friends. They’re all too weird for me
hoon: Mingyu? I remember you saying once that you’d motorboat him
big dick (canon): platonically
hoon: not sure how you’d motorboat someone platonically
big dick (canon): he’s too outgoing for me. cannot imagine I’d ever have a moment to myself if I ever dated him
hoon: Wonwoo? Everyone liked him back in university
big dick (canon): unfortunately, all he seems to talk about is gaming. I don’t mind gaming once or twice, but talking about it all the time? That bores me
hoon: Chan? He’s younger than you, but you could be a cougar, for all I know
big dick (canon): I’ve seen Jeonghan beg on his knees for him to go home after a drinking session
hoon: Minghao?
big dick (canon): He once teased me for my curtain bangs for a week straight
hoon: fine then, Cheol?
big dick (canon): Too competitive
hoon: Seungkwan?
big dick (canon): Too athletic. Also, isn’t he joining the culture desk soon?
hoon: Seokmin?
big dick (canon): Too outgoing
hoon: Vernon?
big dick (canon): Too quiet
hoon: Jun?
big dick (canon): Too weird
hoon: Jesus, fuck, woman, what kind of person do you want to date?
big dick (canon): ykw, just set me up with Mingyu. If nothing I can still get to say I motorboated some great pecs
big dick (canon): seriously, his pecs are bigger than my boobs
big dick (canon): how does he do it
big dick (canon): can I hold them
big dick (canon): respectfully
big dick (canon): in a non-sexual way
big dick (canon): please
hoon: I’m sure he’s going to appreciate that
big dick (canon): please ask him
big dick (canon): how does one get that kind of pectoral muscles
big dick (canon): wow
hoon: my pecs are bigger than his
big dick (canon): is this some new sort of dick-measuring contest idk yet
big dick (canon): if it is
big dick (canon): you’re losing
big dick (canon): I need to take a bite from his tits
big dick (canon): One
big dick (canon): Teensy tiny
big dick (canon): Munch
hoon: I’m so close to blocking u
big dick (canon): They hated Jesus because he spoke the truth
hoon: maybe you need to consider that Jesus had very bad vibes
hoon: so, you want to go on a date with Mingyu?
hoon: I feel like I should tell you that he eats the equivalent of three people
hoon: at the same time
big dick (canon): As long as he lets me motorboat him
 big dick (canon): I don’t care
big dick (canon): He can eat as much as he wants
hoon: why must you be so horny over Mingyu of all people
hoon: he’s not even that attractive
hoon: and I’ve got bigger pecs than him
big dick (canon): congratulations on having bigger pecs, but I’m still gonna motorboat Mingyu
big dick (canon): going to gently hold his tits
hoon: between you going feral and Joshua badgering me about his engagement party dinner
hoon: I can’t help but feel as though both of u are out to make me go insane
big dick (canon): are you gonna go to that?
hoon: he’s already made plans at the barbecue place where we go to
hoon: even got a whole discount coupon and everything
hoon: normally I’d be upset that he’s being cheap, but after researching the price of that ring, I’m prepared to forgive him this once
hoon: next time I’m forcing him to take us out to a good dinner place
big dick (canon): are you planning to spend all his salary
big dick (canon): I’m in
big dick (canon): Ugh I haven’t eaten anything since the morning
big dick (canon): Can you ask Mingyu to bring me food
hoon: you’re incorrigible
hoon: have you been able to maintain eye contact with him?
big dick (canon): UNFAIR
big dick (canon): You know I can only do that with you
big dick (canon): Since you’re exactly my height
big dick (canon): Hehe
hoon: I’m blocking u and this number right NEOW
hoon: cannot believe I’m conversing WILLINGLY with someone who slanders my height
big dick (canon): see u at the barbecue place tonight
big dick (canon): have fun on the song
hoon: I’m trying to finish it
hoon: cannot believe I’ve gone into a slump
big dick (canon): you know how this can be cured?
big dick (canon): An INTERVIEW
big dick (canon): With yours truly
big dick (canon): Please
hoon: ask someone else
hoon: Soonyoung
big dick (canon): he’s an idol, yes but  
big dick (canon): I’m terrified he’s going to do at least three tiger impressions
hoon: wrong, he’s going to do at least five
hoon: ugh gotta go
hoon: see u at the dinner
I stare at the dark phone screen for about five minutes after I’ve finished texting Jihoon. His interest in setting me up with one of his friends aside, he’s not wrong. I’m sexually frustrated, which means I’m just projecting my desires onto the closest available person, which in this case, happens to be Joshua.
Okay, fair enough, then why not anyone else? The people at my workplace aren’t that bad, and some of them are fairly good-looking, so why not them?
As soon as that thought comes into my mind, I shake it away violently. To willingly date someone in the workplace is inviting a whole host of problems, HR notwithstanding. And to imagine the fallout when I eventually break up with them, while still having to work with them in the same office—no, I’d rather take a transfer. The only option that remains are Jihoon’s friends, and while they’re all nice, they can also be terrifying, and therefore, not the best options for dating. Or sleeping around, which is what Jihoon wants me to do.
“Ugh, why do I have to have these feelings,” I moan into my pillow. It would have been great if I were born as an amoeba. Or as a plant. No need for my feelings to take centre stage, no need to maintain friendships with annoying people like Jihoon or Joshua. Just peaceful photosynthesis, and being eaten by a random goat on a random Tuesday. I wouldn’t even need to go to university. Nothing required. Just basking in the sun.
And unfortunately, because my mind is a little traitor, it focuses on the one thing that I don’t want to focus on: Jihoon’s offhand comment about his pecs being bigger than Mingyu’s; which, if I know Jihoon as well as I do, is a blatant lie, but even the thought of it is enough to send me into a downward spiral. What the hell does he mean, he has bigger pecs than Mingyu? Its not as if I want to see them, and let this be known, and made into public record, that I’ve never once wanted to see Jihoon’s pecs.
But.
Of course, its not as if I haven’t thought about it. not as far as Jihoon, who apparently masturbated to the thought of me, but of course I have idly wondered, what it would be like. When he came back from the military, its all I could think about for a couple days, before I had to physically slap myself back into reality. Unfortunately for me, his one petty comment about the size of his pectoral muscles, threatens to throw me back into the pits of desperation yet again.
Ugh. I slam my face into the pile of fresh laundry, hoping for it to soothe my nerves. Spoiler alert, it doesn’t.
Its at that moment that the chatroom pings again, this time with a  message from Joshua.
joshuji: SHE SAID YES!!!!
hoon: congratulations!
big dick (canon): Congratulations!!!
The barbecue place is good enough for us, but for a dinner celebrating Joshua’s engagement to Eunseo, it seems a little too shabby. Although given the amount of money he’s spent on an engagement ring (I saw the prices, and I had to stifle a gasp) it can be forgiven. Just this once, as Jihoon said.
I’ve come here late, on purpose. Between the excited texts from Eunseo, who texted me a picture of her ring, and I had to act appropriately surprised, and Joshua��s infamous enthusiasm for a. showing the world how much he loves his girlfriend and b. to torment his friends, I’m feeling drained. I’m dressed for a night of eating greasy food and drinking cheap alcohol: a hoodie borrowed (stolen) from either Jihoon or Joshua, and jeans. I can’t even lie to myself and give myself a reason to dress up, because even I can’t delude myself into doing that. Jihoon once saw me with day-old vomit on my shirt, and Joshua has seen me dress in my sleepwear for exams week.
The place is filled with smoke, emanating from the meat being cooked on the grills, and it takes me a moment to adjust myself to it all, before I look for the other three. They have all arrived, and according to Jihoon, who’s sent a message out of his own accord on the chatroom in a long time, they’re all eating lots of beef.
“You’re late,” Jihoon grumbles as I approach the table, “I had to sit through half an hour of these two being happy and in love.”
“You’re a liar,” I say, sliding into the seat next to him, “you enjoy romance movies.”
“Wow, that’s something I didn’t know about him,” Joshua says, with a twinkle in his eyes that I don’t want to decode, “how come you know everything about Jihoon?”
“Occupational hazard,” I reply, reaching for a piece of meat, “every time you bailed on us to go on a date with Eunseo, Jihoon and I would be forced to hang out together.”
“It was horrible,” Jihoon agrees, “she’d force me to watch all these romance movies.”
“Says the man who cried while watching Love Actually.”
Eunseo giggles at that, almost doubling over herself. I narrow my eyes at Joshua, “have you both been drinking since the afternoon?”
“No, no, I haven’t,” Eunseo wheezes, and it’s unfair how gorgeous she is while laughing, too. She’s wearing an apron to prevent grease falling on her expensive clothes, and she’s still gorgeous. I snort when I laugh, and once Jihoon saw me with mango juice coming out of my nose, “it’s just funny.”
“What is?”
She points at the two of us, “you know, the both of you keep talking about how annoying you find each other, and yet you’re both closer to each other than anyone else. It’s just so funny to me.”
“Joshua,” Jihoon says, very seriously, “I think your fiancée has been taking drugs.”
“At the very least, she’s insane,” I supply helpfully, “no one in their right minds would date Joshua. Not to mention agreeing to marry him.”
Joshua puts an arm around Eunseo, “stop slandering my fiancée.”
Jihoon puts a piece of meat into his mouth, trying to change the topic, “have I mentioned I’m helping her hook up with someone?”
I cough violently, while Eunseo and Joshua wear twin expressions of confusion. “Wait, Jihoon,” Joshua says, “I thought you—”
“I told you not to talk about that!” I wail, a noise that’s fortunately covered by all the meat-grilling around me, “no, I’m not going to hook up with any of your friends. Jihoon has terrible taste in people, not to mention that all your friends aren’t exactly hook-up material.”
“You take that back,” he gasps, “weren’t you talking about how you’d like to motorboat Mingyu?”
“That was platonically!”
“I’m sorry,” Joshua interjects, looking at me as though I’ve sprouted another head, “how can you, and I’m just going off on a limb here, motorboat someone platonically?”
“That’s what I said,” Jihoon grumbles, “she keeps asking me to set them up once.”
“That’s because he’s the hottest out of all your friends.” The soju is bitter as I drink it, “if I have to engage in a night of mindless sex, might as well do it with the hottest guy around.”
“Knew it,” Jihoon wags one of his fingers at me, “knew you only wanted Mingyu for his body. How dare you do that to my friend.”
“You once stole his socks.”
“Once.”
“For a whole semester.”
“Fair enough.”
“Both of you,” Joshua says loud enough for us to stop bickering, “explain it to us properly. What do you mean you’re helping her hook up with one of our friends? And why are you letting him hook you up with one of our friends?”
I shrug, “It’s not a big deal. Besides, you heard us. It’s only going to be one time.”
“Do I need to give you the talk?”
Jihoon  laughs, “you do realise she’s an adult?”
“I’m not saying she can’t do anything; I’m just saying she needs to be careful!
“If I have to be careful around the rest of the guys, then maybe you shouldn’t be friends with them.”
“What do you mean she should be careful around the people who have known her for so long?”
“All of you!” Eunseo claps her hands, and like kindergarten children, we all turn to look at her, sheepish, “Josh,” she turns to the man in question, who looks sufficiently contrite, “let me have a word.”
As they leave, Jihoon pulls a face. “asshole.”
I take another shot of the soju, “he’s just looking out for me.”
“Then he shouldn’t be so overbearing about it.” Jihoon takes a look at me downing another shot, “should you be drinking this fast?”
“Don’t you start.” I say, shaking my head, “I’m going to drink enough to wipe out Joshua’s bank account.”
Jihoon says nothing, just looks at me, and then, after ten seconds, “do you want to do it?”
“Do what?”
“The date. With Mingyu.”
Maybe its just the alcohol getting to my head, or maybe its all this smoke, but his voice seems different. Is he concerned, or is he joking, as per usual? It’s confusing. Should I blame the alcohol? That seems easier, given how it’s getting to my head. “I don’t know.”
“He’s not that bad, you know. He’s a good listener, and if you want him to shut up, he will. He’s great that way.”
I stare at him. Jihoon has a strange look on his face, one that I can’t really place. Alcohol. Yes. Blame it on the alcohol. I take another shot, but before I can form a reply to him, Eunseo and Joshua are walking back to the table, hand-in-hand, identical smiles on their faces. As soon as it had come, the look in Jihoon’s eyes is gone, replaced by the usual, blasé attitude he has perfected.
“Sorry for being late,” Eunseo breezes as she settles into the table, “Joshua needed to be reminded of adult boundaries.”
“I’m sorry.” Joshua offers by way of an apology, “I overstepped.”
“Damn right you did.” Jihoon mutters.
“Apology accepted,” I smile, picking up a piece of meat, “can you order some more?”
Mondays are, unfortunately, the worst. Especially if one spent their Sunday evening drinking enough alcohol to lose half their memories. I slide into my seat at work, yawning as I inspect the things I have to finish working on before the end of the day.
“Morning, sunbae,” a cheery voice says, placing a cup of coffee on my desk, “you look like shit.”
“Not the time, Seungkwan,” I mutter, pressing two fingers to my forehead, “too loud, too loud.”
“Heard you got shitfaced with Jihoon and the others last night,” Seungkwan says louder, “Jihoon texted the chat with the others at two in the morning, saying how he was going to take you home.”
“He did?” thankfully, I have no recollection of this happening, so I just let him fill me in on the details, “all I remember is drinking too much at the barbecue place.”
“Celebrating Joshua’s engagement, right?” Seungkwan’s smile is irritating, and I hate how cheery he is in the morning, “he texted about that, too. The pear-cut diamond was, oof, it was something to see.”
“Why do you know about diamond cuts?”
“I grew up with sisters,” he shrugs, as if growing up with sisters imbued one with all the hidden knowledge of womankind, including, but not limited to, engagement ring diamonds and their specific cuts, “you pick up stuff from listening.”
“Jihoon told you all he took me home?” I ask, “he doesn’t usually say that kind of stuff.”
“You got especially drunk last night, so he made an exception for you.” Seungkwan grins, leaning in, “what do you think about Jihoon?”
“He’s a pain in my ass.” I mutter, switching on my computer, “also, go back to work, Seungkwan. You’re not even supposed to be here until next week!”
“Yoo-min quit, so they asked me to join a week early,” he gives me a grin that again, I try not to decode (what is it with all these men and their mysterious grins?) before settling down into the seat next to me, and promptly jumping up to subject me to a ninety-degree bow, “Boo Seungkwan, at your service!”
“Ugh,” I wince, waving at him, “sit down, for the love of god, no one needs to be that loud in the mornings.”
“You are my senior, as it happens, and I’m very keen on maintaining proper relations.”
“Get me one of those hangover cures.”
“I like the American style.”
To no one’s surprise, Seungkwan is a very competent worker. He’s a social butterfly, which means that he quickly endears himself to everyone at work, and by the time lunch rolls around, I have to hear praises of Seungkwan from everyone. It’s terrifying, how competent he is.
Being one of the associate editors, means I have to mostly edit the articles sent in by the reporters on ground, not to mention I get to pick and choose which issue I want to cover. I maintain as much of my professionalism as I can, while having a raging headache.
“Sunbae,” Seungkwan approaches me right before lunch, “will you be going out to cover an article?”
“I have an interview with an author after lunch, so not yet,” I reply, putting the finishing touches on a report sent in by one of our field staff, on some celebrity’s rash driving case, “I have some time.”
“Do you want to have lunch with the rest of us?” he asks, gesturing the group of five waiting behind him, “we’re going to have naengmyeon at the place down the block.”
“I have enough sense to not butt into the affairs of my juniors, Seungkwan,” I say, standing up from my chair, “here, have the card. Since its your first day here, the office should treat you.”
Seungkwan takes the offered card with a bow, and smiles brightly, “oh, but the editor said we’re having a company dinner tonight? Won’t you be joining us for that?”
“A group dinner?” I ask, and the group behind him nods their head, all in unison. It makes them look like little bobbleheads, for some reason. “Sure, I’ll join in.”
“Yes!” he seems unusually cheerful about the company dinner, which in my own experience is nothing but a pain that I had to accustom myself with when I joined the paper, “see you tonight, sunbae!”
“This kid,” I groan, picking up my coat. The prospect of lunch makes my stomach turn, and now I have to contend with dinner?
I text Jihoon while walking out of the offices. Joshua is busy with his new fiancée, and Jihoon’s building is far closer to mine that it is to Joshua’s place of work.
big dick (canon): Are u free
big dick (canon): For lunch
Unless Jihoon texts first, he takes an hour to respond at best, but as soon as I send the message, he’s typing a reply.
hoon: lunch?
hoon: if it isn’t lunch I’m killing u
hoon: dude I’ve never had a block this bad I think I’m going to go crazy
hoon: not to mention the hangover from last night is crazy
big dick (canon): it is for lunch, you idiot, why would I text u otherwise
big dick (canon): and I can agree on that, my head is killing me
hoon: is hangover soup cool with u
hoon: I know a good place
hoon: meet u at the front of your building in five
hoon: please tell me all the details about Seungkwan
“He took five minutes to get the editor to warm up to him?” Jihoon cackles, as the lady serves us two steaming bowls of seollongtang, “of course, it’s Seungkwan. He can make anyone warm up to him in minutes.”
“I fear he takes it as a challenge.” I say, spooning the milky broth into my mouth, “ah! Its hot!”
“Why can’t you just wait for a while, before eating your food?” Jihoon pours me a glass of water, “did you die of starvation in your previous life?”
“I don’t believe in that.”
“Yes, yes, Miss Atheist. Tell me what else our little dongsaeng get up to in the meantime.”
“He’s not been given a lot of work, given that it’s his first day,” I take another, more tentative sip of the broth, “but unfortunately, I’ve got to attend another company dinner tomorrow night.”
“Another company dinner? Haven’t you gone through enough pain to consider drinking again, what,  barely twenty-four hours later?”
“Twenty-fours is pushing it,” I say, wincing at the sound of my own voice, “ugh, this damn hangover. I can’t even function. Let’s just eat in silence.”
“You want a cider?” Jihoon asks, looking around for the owner to ask for two cans of cider, but the owner is faster than him, setting down two cans of soda in front of us with a smile on her face.
“Your boyfriend is very caring.” She tells me, “its so nice to see someone taking care of their girlfriend so well. The sodas are on the house, okay?”
“Oh, but he’s not—” even before I’ve finished my sentence, she’s gone again, tending to her other customers. Jihoon opens one of the cans for me without saying a word.
“We should stop coming here.” I say, accepting the can from him, “why would anyone think that we’re a couple?”
“They can’t accept that men and women can just be friends, that’s why.”
“Too bad the food is great.”
Jihoon pauses for a moment, then a slow, sly smile spreads all over his face. I know that look. That look does not bode well for me, or for anyone else involved. The first time I saw Jihoon have that look on his face, Seungcheol embarrassed himself so badly in front of a group of first-year students, he refused to come out to any events where Jihoon was invited, for almost a month. This look means that he’s got some sort of evil plan in his mind, one that involves another person and their total embarrassment. He takes a look around the restaurant, and sits up straight. The words that come out of his mouth next, however—
“Babe,” Jihoon says, loud enough for half the restaurant to hear, “don’t you think this place is great?”
What the fuck?
“Jihoon, what are you doing?” my voice is a whisper, “they’re all looking at us!”
“That’s the point.” He whispers, before smiling, “you should say something too, you know. Make the whole thing more believable.”
“I don’t want to!”
“They gave us free sodas; they deserve a special performance at least.” He points to the owner, who looks like she’s about to break her face from smiling so damn broad, “sorry, my girlfriend is a very shy.”
“Oh,” the lady waves it away, “anyone can see you are in love!”
In the end, when Jihoon is paying for our lunches, she takes a final look at the two of us, and croons, “you two make a lovely couple!”
“What the fuck was that?” I turn on Jihoon as soon as we are safely out of the restaurant and far enough for anyone to eavesdrop, “Why the hell would you tell her that we’re dating?”
“Thought you needed a pick-me-up,” Jihoon grins, “at least I got you to stop worrying about things so much.”
“There are better ways of going about that than telling unsuspecting diner owners that we are dating!”
“It was funny, you have to admit,” he smiles, and I have to begrudgingly agree, “see, told you we’d make a cute couple.”
I would rather die than tell Jihoon that I agree with him on anything, so I keep quiet. Thing is; it was rather funny. Especially with how the owner reacted to us.
“And later on,” Jihoon says, holding on to my arm as we cross the road, “when you come to this place with someone else, you can just tell her that we broke up.”
“You need to stop talking about how I’m going to start dating other people.” I mutter, “just because I’ve got some frustrations I need to work out, doesn’t mean I’m going to go running into the arms of whoever it is who offers first.”
“Careful with that,” he says, standing at the crossroads where he’s supposed to walk towards his building, “you might end up regretting it.”
And with a single wave, he’s gone. I stand for about five minutes, like an idiot, while the busy crowd walks past me, trying to decode his words. Why would I regret my decision to not date someone just because I need to get over myself? Not to mention Jihoon has been behaving strangely since the previous night.
“Sunbae,” Seungkwan materialises next to me, “penny for your thoughts?”
“Jesus!” I narrowly escape jumping three feet into the air, “give a girl a warning!”
“I did call out,” he pouts. Its disconcerting how adorable he is. “You were pretty engrossed in looking into the distance to even notice my presence.”
“Are you upset?”
Seungkwan smiles, “if you agree to a badminton match with me over the weekend, I’ll overlook this slight.”
I sigh. “You drive a hard bargain,” I say, making my way into the building, “see you at the dinner, then.”
418 notes · View notes
ashwhowrites · 10 months ago
Note
eddie x reader, where reader isn’t necessarily popular but she gets along with everyone and is friends with everyone, and eddie is his dorky self, but him and reader start hanging out more and there’s rumors that him and reader are hooking up but they’re not they’re just friends, but eddie realizes these rumors are making him more popular so he doesn’t try to nip them in the bud but the rumors are causing issues for the reader, if u can make it end nice and fluffy id appreciate it, hope this makes sense
I hope this is what you wanted and you enjoy it. Thank you for requesting 🫶🏻
Rumor has it
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Y/N doesn't consider herself popular; she is just someone who can hold a conversation with anyone. Which is why no one questioned why she started talking to Eddie.
Eddie knew he was not popular, and he was fine with that. He also didn't see Y/N as popular, and he thinks that was why he loved being around her. She was the only person that was nice and honest.
But since most people knew her, people talked about her. All it took was one wrong person to see them together and start the rumor that they were sleeping together.
The rumor impacted them differently. Eddie was congratulated and got his name on the map. Boys high-fived him in hallways and girls became interested in him. Eddie didn't understand why "sleeping" with Y/N would be the talk of this school, but he enjoyed the attention he got.
It was the opposite for Y/N. Boys began hitting on her now that she had given it up. No matter how many times she said no and that nothing happened with Eddie, no one believed her. She didn't like being seen as someone boys wanted to hook up with. She missed when they were polite and friends with her. But now all they wanted was the same treatment Eddie got.
Y/N sighed as she got in Eddie's van. She ignored the eyes of everyone watching as they drove out of the parking lot.
"I like your top today, by the way, baby," Eddie said, shooting her a smile as he focused on the road.
Y/N felt her face burn and a smile appeared on her face. She muttered a small thank you. But cheered loudly in her head. The more she spent tutoring Eddie, the more she liked him. She wanted his attention and his compliments.
She bought a few new shirts. Some tight and a little low cut to show off her body. She loved the way his eyes never left her when she was near. She was happy that her new clothes seemed to be doing just what she wanted.
~
"Can we be done now? My brain is going to explode," Eddie whined, throwing his head back.
"Yes, we can be done," Y/N laughed as she closed the book.
"Good because I would rather be doing this," he said, then she felt her body being shifted onto his. She bit her lip as she sat in his lap, hoping he couldn't hear how fast her heart was beating. He leaned in and softly pressed his lips against hers. It wasn't their first kiss, but it made her stomach flutter just the same.
He pulled back and moved his lips down to her neck, loving the way she shuddered.
"This perfume I think is my favorite so far," he muttered against her skin. She moaned as he bit her neck, she would definitely wear this perfume every day.
~~~
"I saw Y/N left school with you yesterday," Jason said as he nudged Eddie with a wink.
"Yeah, we went back to my place," Eddie said, his words were honest but his smirk left a lot to the imagination
"Never would have thought sweet Y/N would get down and dirty with the freak of Hawkins," Jason chuckled as he walked away.
Yeah, the rumor even got bullies off Eddie's back. It was like he was living a dream.
~
"Can you believe she finally lost her virginity? I heard it was in the bar bathroom after Eddie's set. So trashy" a girl snickered as Y/N walked by in the halls.
Y/N ignored her words, sadly getting used to it ever since the stupid rumor started. She denied it over and over, yet no one seemed to believe her. She wasn't understanding why everyone truly believed it happened when they had no evidence at all.
Well until she finally saw it with her eyes.
"I think I brought her home maybe like midnight?" Eddie laughed as he shrugged, a group of boys surrounding him.
Y/N stopped walking, trying to remain unseen as she listened.
"Is she good?" a random voice asked
"Amazing," Eddie replied
"Y/N freaky? Is that why she picked you? Does she like it rough and dirty or something?" another voice asked
Y/N froze as she realized they were talking about the rumor. She waited anxiously for Eddie to respond
"I don't want to share all our details, but she can tire a guy out," he said, she scoffed at his proud smirk and the way the guys cheered.
She thought Eddie would have been different, but he was just as pathetic as the rest of the boys in the school.
"Oh? How so?" she spoke up, her voice catching all their attention.
Eddie went pale as she came into view, the boys looked between them.
"Maybe you can show me tomorrow night, gorgeous," a boy said, throwing her a wink
She cringed and felt uncomfortable under his stare. His words sent jealousy straight through Eddie. Eddie snapped to look at him with heat in his eyes.
"She's not interested," Eddie said as he butted in
"I think I've had enough of you speaking for me" she snapped, her attention on Eddie. "Maybe I should tell these guys exactly what has been going on between us."
"We already know you opened your legs the same night you met him. We all know you are a whore" the boys snickered as Y/N felt the blow of the words.
"Don't call her that. She is not a whore." Eddie demanded, shoving whoever said it against the lockers
"How is she not? She's all snobby and a stuck-up good girl, now she lost her virginity and makes you go for rounds and rounds. She started wearing more revealing clothes and wearing a new perfume. She wants the attention, she loves it."
Eddie gulped as he slowly turned around to face her. His heart dropped when the tears were already falling down her face. She looked horrified and sick.
"You-you are a virgin?" Eddie stuttered, the guilt was already in his bones but now he felt like he couldn't breathe. The regret and guilt piled on his chest.
Y/N felt her face burn in embarrassment and ran off before anyone could say another thing.
"Shit!" Eddie cussed to himself and ran after her. She was quick but he was faster. She barely made it out the door when he caught her arm. The door closed behind them as they stood at the front of the school.
"Y/N I am so sorry," Eddie said as he turned her around. Her cheeks were wet with tears as she cried.
"Bullshit, Eddie," she scoffed as she wiped her cheeks, "You loved every second of your fake story. I mean I am so stupid for thinking you were different."
"I know, I fucked up. I didn't know people were saying those types of things about you. I'm sorry for being an asshole. I got clouded by all the attention it gave me, and I didn't think to ask why it was such a big deal to everyone and I'm so fucking sorry," he pleaded
"Yeah, it is a big deal! Especially to me. I was shamed for never liking a boy enough to have sex with, then I'm shamed for having sex with you. Which was a rumor, and a rumor you could have shut down with a simple explanation. But no, you wanted to seem cool from all the jocks and enjoy all the attention from girls who never looked your way otherwise. I am sick and tired of being shamed, and it hurts a whole lot more knowing it's because of you."
"Because of me?" Eddie asked, "Why?"
"Because I fucking like you!" she exclaimed, covering her mouth once she realized what she said. Eddie felt his eyes widen.
"I didn't know," he said quietly
"Why would you?" she scoffed, "I forgot that I'm just a plaything in the eyes of boys. Just a good whore."
"You are way more than that," Eddie defended, "Don't talk that way about yourself. You mean way more to me than a plaything."
"But didn't mean enough to protect?" She argued
"I didn't know you were a virgin! I didn't know that a rumor of us sleeping together would do any of this. If I could take it back I would. I like you and I liked knowing that people thought we were together" Eddie tried to defend
"I-I just don't know if I believe you. I think you like how people view you because of me."
"I would have never kissed you if I didn't have feelings for you," Eddie fought, rushing to move his hands on her face. "I wouldn't have noticed new clothes and new perfumes. I'll clear everything up and I'll kick anyone's ass that speaks about you. But please believe me when I say I'm sorry and that I like you."
"I need time," she said softly, he sighed sadly as she removed his hands and walked away.
~~~
The next day at lunch Eddie got on the tables and cleared everything up. He demanded people apologize for the way they treated Y/N and threatened anyone who had the nerve to say anything about her again.
Y/N appreciated he stood to his word and cleared the air. People did apologize but she didn't bother to forgive them. They didn't deserve her forgiveness, and she wanted this situation under the bridge.
A few days passed and Y/N was relieved that everyone moved on. She wasn't as popular anymore, given that she hated everyone and didn't bother to talk to anyone. She was nice to everyone and it got her stabbed in the back.
And for the boys who still decided to speak to her, Eddie handled for her.
"Now that you and Freak called it quits. What if I show you a good time?"
Y/N didn't have time to say anything when Eddie had the boy slammed against the lockers and a huge right hook against his face.
"I thought I made it clear that no one talks about my girl like that."
She wasn't Eddie's girl but the sound of him saying it made her heart race.
A full month passed and Y/N was starting to miss Eddie. She still tutored him, but no more breaks to make out. She kept them focused on school and she went home the second they were done.
She couldn't let herself be weak around him because then she'd be around his finger all over again. She hoped her feelings would disappear within time, but it seemed to still take over her world.
"Alright, think we are done!" Y/N cheered as she closed the textbook. "You should ace this test tomorrow, no excuses."
Eddie smiled as she pointed a finger in his face
"What do you think I'll get?" he asked
"A C plus, but I have faith you could score a B."
"Does the offer still stand if I get my first A?" he asked, chewing on his bottom lip as he nervously waited.
Y/N sighed to herself. She wanted to smack her past self for making the deal
"If I ever get an A, can I ask you to be my girlfriend?" Eddie asked, they both knew he was joking by the way he smiled and laughed
"You just met me! How do you know you want me to be your girlfriend?" she teased
"Because I've never seen anyone more beautiful"
He looked at her as she thought about it in her head.
"I guess we'll see if you get an A," she said, smiling sadly as she got up.
"I'm not going to stop until I get that A, sweetheart," he said with a smile, watching as she made her way out of his trailer. She looked over her shoulder and let out a small laugh.
It was a small moment, but Eddie thought about it all night.
~~~
Eddie knew he would never score an A, the best he could get was a B. But he refused to lose his only shot to win her back. It was wrong, but he didn't care.
He shifted his eyes to look at his neighbor's paper. It was a smart kid who always scored high, so Eddie was confident he was cheating off the right paper.
He answered all the questions he knew and cheated on the ones he had no slight idea of.
He turned his paper in with his fingers crossed and walked out.
The next day he rushed into class, tapping the table as he waited for the teacher to pass him his test.
~
Y/N was at her locker when she felt her body being turned around and familiar lips placed on hers. Her body gave in before her brain could fight it. Her lips moved with Eddie's as she tasted his mint gum, his hands on her body sent shivers down her spine.
Once she regained control she was quick to pull away
"What the hell are you doing?" she hissed as she touched her lips
"Celebrating my big A with my soon-to-be girlfriend," Eddie said with a proud smirk. He held up the test, a huge A written on the top.
"No way," she gasped, grabbing the test. She looked over his answers, all proving the test was correctly examined.
"What do you say? Can we give this a real shot? I promise not to be an idiot with your feelings this time." He promised as he bounced anxiously on his feet
"I still don't know Eddie," she sighed as she handed him the test
"Just a date, one night and we can take it from there?" Eddie asked
"Alright, fine. One date and we go from there," Y/N said. She watched Eddie's face lit up and a huge smile covered him.
"Yes! Thank you!" He cheered, kissing her cheek wet before he raced down the hallway.
His excitement made her smile, maybe a date wouldn't be horrible.
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deansbeer · 3 months ago
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𓂃𓈒 pretty little distractions !
𝄃𝄃𝄂𝄂𝄀𝄁𝄃𝄂𝄂𝄃 adult content ; minors go away.
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♡ synopsis. jason comes home exhausted from night patrolling gotham, only to find you waiting in a tiny pink lace dress—exactly what he didn't expect.
♡ warning(s). teasing, suggestiveness, playful intimacy, strong language.
♡ kari notes. i hope u enjoy whatever this is <3 he lives rent free in my head w his roommate deano teeeheee and i did my best to write him as well as i could ???? so please don't be a dick. thanks <3
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it's late—or early, really—when you hear the familiar sound of heavy boots against the rooftop outside your apartment window. your heart immediately flutters, knowing exactly who it is. jason's finally home from his patrol, safe and sound, and the relief floods you instantly, easing the quiet worry you've been carrying all night.
you've spent the evening alone, bored and restless, trying to distract yourself. eventually, you'd decided to try on the pretty little pink lace dress you'd bought earlier on impulse, just to see how it looked.
you'd planned to surprise jason with it tomorrow, but the soft fabric felt too nice against your skin to take off right away. you'd lounged around in it, waiting for him, and now clothes are scattered all over the bedroom floor—his sweats, your t-shirt, and a pile of laundry you'd forgotten to fold earlier.
he'll tease you about it for sure, the mess you've left behind, but you can't bring yourself to care. all that matters is he's home now, safe and yours again.
you’re still lost in thought, absently bending over to pick your clothes up from the floor, completely unaware of just how exposed you are in your tiny dress.
the soft lace barely covers your ass, riding up each time you lean forward. you're so distracted you don't even hear the bedroom window slide open, or the quiet intake of breath behind you as jason slips inside.
"well, damn."
his voice—low and rough and entirely unexpected—startles you, making you jump slightly. you stand quickly, spinning to face him, heart hammering in your chest.
he's leaning casually against the windowsill, still fully suited up in his red hood gear, helmet already removed and resting loosely in his gloved hand. his dark hair is slightly sweaty, messy from patrol, and those piercing green eyes are locked firmly onto you, completely darkened with heat.
"jay," you breathe, relief and excitement flooding your body at once. "you're home."
his gaze rakes slowly over you, lingering appreciatively on the sheer lace hugging your curves, before he meets your eyes again, a cocky smirk tugging at his full lips. "yeah, sweetheart," he drawls, voice dripping with amusement and hunger.
"and here i thought patrol was exhausting. but coming home to find you bent over like that? fuck, that's enough to wake me right back up."
your cheeks flush hotly, suddenly hyper-aware of how little your dress actually covers. you bite your lip, feeling equal parts shy and exhilarated under his intense stare. "didn't realize you'd be back yet," you admit softly, glancing down with a small, shy smile. "figured i'd clean up before you got home."
he chuckles lowly, setting his helmet carefully aside and stepping closer, eyes never leaving yours. "oh, trust me, doll. i ain't complaining."
you swallow thickly, heart racing faster as he closes the distance between you. he reaches out, gloved fingers gently brushing along the delicate lace at your hip, his thumb teasing the bare skin just beneath.
your breath hitches sharply at his touch, warmth pooling deep and hot inside you. "this new?" he murmurs, voice rough with desire, his eyes burning into yours. "don't think i've seen it before."
you nod slowly, feeling a little breathless. "bought it today. wanted to surprise you."
he hums approvingly, fingers tightening gently on your hip, his other hand moving to cup your cheek tenderly. "consider me surprised," he whispers huskily, thumb brushing softly along your jaw. "fuck, you look good enough to eat."
you shiver at the intensity behind his words, heat flaring between your thighs. your fingers instinctively curl into the heavy fabric of his jacket, pulling him closer. "missed you," you whisper softly, eyes searching his face. "i was so worried."
his gaze softens slightly, thumb continuing to brush gently over your flushed skin. "i'm fine, sweetheart. always am," he reassures quietly, pressing a tender kiss to your forehead. "and i'm home now. right where i belong."
you tilt your head up, capturing his lips in a deep, hungry kiss, needing to feel him close, to reassure yourself he's really here. he kisses you back eagerly, lips moving hotly against yours, his strong arms wrapping securely around your waist. when you finally break apart for air, he's breathing heavily, eyes darkened even further with desire.
"goddamn, baby," he groans softly against your mouth, his voice rougher, hungrier now. "this dress… did you even see how short it is?"
you laugh breathlessly, biting your lip playfully. "maybe i did."
his eyes narrow slightly, a playful smirk tugging at his lips as he grips your hips, turning you gently around until you're facing away from him.
he gently pushes you forward, bending you slightly over the bed, his hands sliding up your thighs, bunching the soft lace even higher. he sucks in a sharp breath behind you, fingertips gripping your ass appreciatively.
"fuckin' hell, sweetheart," he groans roughly, voice strained with pure want. "you know exactly what you're doing, don't you?"
you glance back over your shoulder, smiling innocently, heart pounding wildly with excitement. "and if i do?"
he laughs breathlessly, eyes blazing with heat as he leans over you, lips brushing hotly against your ear. "then you're gonna take responsibility for driving me fucking crazy."
you shiver, arching slightly back against him, feeling him pressed hard and eager against you already. "think i can handle that," you whisper softly, grinning playfully.
jason chuckles softly, pressing a heated kiss to your shoulder, his fingers tightening possessively on your skin.
"good," he growls lowly, voice dripping with promise. "because tonight? that little dress isn't coming off anytime soon."
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idontmindifuforgetme · 1 year ago
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what red flags should i look for in a man?
I actually feel like I’m a good person to ask this question, not bc I’ve had a long healthy relationship or anything, but bc I’ve humored walking red flags way more than I should’ve lmao. Btw this list doesn’t go for just men. It can apply to man, woman, just any human being across the board. Ok so:
When someone tells you they’re not ready for a relationship, BELIEVE THEM. Idc what the reason is. Idc if it’s bc they aren’t that into you or if they have shit going on. They just told u straight up. Appreciate that and just leave. Please. For me.
Piggybacking off that point—listen to people when they tell you who they are in general!!! This was a major 2023 lesson for me. People self-report all the time, whether it be friends or romantic interests. Most people are legitimately incapable of hiding who they really are. Pay attention. Do not ignore the signs, however small. I could’ve saved myself so much trouble if I didn’t just pretend Not to See.
Not consoling you when you need it because “they’re not good with emotions.” This is just an excuse for being lazy. They just don’t wanna put the work into being there for you properly—especially if you’ve already gone through the trouble of communicating this to them.
People who talk the talk but don’t walk the walk. Actions over words. Actions over words always.
Fuck overextended talking stages. If you wanna know more about me, let’s plan something in person. Otherwise you run the risk of getting attached to someone who’s possibly nothing like how they actually are in front of you.
If you’re having to “communicate” extensively with a person like a month in, as in there are lots of miscommunications and misunderstandings and things you don’t like about them or they don’t like about you, I’d probably just drop it. I learned this the hard way last year after burning through a lot of friendships where I found that we didn’t know each other that long at all, but there was already a plethora of problems to work through. This can apply to relationships just as well. If you’re asking a person to change this early in, or they’re asking you to change this early in, it’s probably just not a match.
Mostly talking about themselves. Not asking you anything about yourself in return. Ew.
It takes months to actually know a person’s true nature. That’s typically around the time people start showing their true colors. Ik a lot of people choose to commit like a month in, so just take that as u will.
Fucking competing with you. People who’re incapable of just being happy for other people without inserting themselves into it are insufferable. Immediate next.
This isn’t conscious behavior, and all of us are guilty of it, but people have an innate habit of taking advantage of your fantasies. If they know you’re desperate for their attention, they’ll get lazy (even if they don’t realize it). If they know they’re the object of your desire, they will leverage that to get your benefits without putting in the work. This is like playing cards and immediately showing someone your hand. Do not do that. This isn’t “playing hard to get”—it’s just guarding yourself until you’re sure you can trust the other person.
Not always the case, but a lot of times the way someone’s last relationship ended is pretty telling for how yours will go. ESPECIALLY if they’re not at all remorseful about how the last one went down, lol. You’re not the exception.
People are busy and taking a while to respond is O.K., but if it’s a continuous pattern of them taking forever to reply, it’s probably just a matter of priorities (and you’re not theirs). Sorry.
Pls take the ego out of the talking stage and recognize that love bombing is not flattering. I’ve reprogrammed my brain to where any time someone is doing way too much like three seconds in, I get the ick. I’ve legit dropped guys over this. It’s such a red flag to me. They either don’t have a life, or just are a natural love bomber (who will overwhelm you w compliments and attention only to fizzle out just as quickly), or they know exactly what they’re doing and they’re playing to your ego. Whichever it is, ick. Big ick.
The way they talk about other people is a major tell. This goes for friends and romantic interests. I think a bit of gossip will always be unavoidable, but if someone is liberally trash-talking other people—ESPECIALLY EX-FRIENDS OR EX-PARTNERS—you could literally be next. Anyone who thrives off badmouthing other people / hating on others / just generally not giving others grace doesn’t have exceptions. You’re their focus for now. It could just as easily be you tomorrow.
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