#and while i have No Clue how im going to format and explain that

[likeadevils]

important context: i am not planning to make a fearless timeline anytime soon

[narwhalandchill]

ok not to randomly go off on a somewhat negative ramble But. (general genshin story direction worries basically)

while there are a bunch of stunts i fear the genshin story slash lore could end up pulling that would serve as not only disappointments but to varying degrees also just retroactively ruin a lot of games writing for me. i dont think theres anything that im as genuinely concerned about as the possibility of like. completely losing their narrative marbles to an overdone time travel/temporal manipulation in one way or another like just the thought of that shit haunts me

bc like. while i dont find them particularly compelling as an argument for that to be the case regarding Everything in the narrative in current lore/theory circles (like. makoto n ei teaming up w istaroth once doesnt automatically establish universal time travel). it is unfortunately true that in canon lore there are many of the kind of lore pieces present that you could use to set that kind of reveal and complete restructuring of the story up. istaroth and the sacred sakura and some shady things said by various characters and how you could argue Any time loop or travel adjacent is just hidden by the irminsul 5head (another piece of writing whose potential misuse seriously alarms me, mind you). and so on.

and i am just. Not about any of that shit. like. for me absolutely any plot device or element that has the risk of fundamentally fucking up a storys continuity and coherence sideways to the degree BOTH the

"genshins gonna turn out to be ALL time travel/time loop/simulation to make [sudden endgame twist X heavily at odds with what was established in the central lore prior] appear sensible"

and

"celestia just irminsuls away all evidence for [that twist X again] so achsually it was always genius and compatible with lore"

tier of nightmare scenarios will have. is just. Not fucking worth it. this shit has ruined countless stories with vastly better writing and way more competent authors because its just. not the kind of stuff you can just insert in a massive fucking story willy nilly to explain away the mystery box you didnt bother to set up together so it ultimately comes together in a cohesive way that Doesnt need to be broken on multiple levels to scrape together some conclusion. and its just hhhhhhhhhhhhhh

and like ive never expected some massive masterpiece out of genshin like at best its gonna be one of those stories that once finished gets some really fucking banger fanwork as its community expands upon and explores a solid but flawed canon groundwork. theres fundamental flaws and limitations to its storytelling and format and that cant be helped. so im expecting no miracles on that front.

but the one fucking thing i dont want them to fall for is that misguided at best and outright pretentious and disrespectful at worst allure of. SEE! we outsmarted the audience! the theories! we broke our own story continuity to force a twist because our established worldbuilding technically makes it an option! isnt this smart!

like just please. no. no clue how unpopular this is but im already quite conflicted on the established use of irminsul in sumeru and how it arguably voided a lot of important characterization (nahidas inferiority complex) and narrative potential (scara literally becoming a non factor in the grander story more or less) for good but like. for now. fine. it hasnt become overused yet. i dont think its inherently bad as a factor of worldbuilding. i like how it recontextualizes fact and fiction and the significance of stories that appear mere fables in the world of teyvat. but as it stands the irminsul is still a deus ex machina. and thats a dangerous tool for any writer to have in careless use. and when combined with the sprinkles of lore involving the possibility of time manipulation and such to be further explored. its like powder and keg. two tools that can absolutely gut a story of its narrative cohesion and the weight of its stakes in an instant. its really fucking worrisome.

genshins writing is flawed but the one thing this game has going for it that i REALLY hope the writers will understand to respect is its world. how much the marriage between this massive and beautifully crafted immersive open world and the intricacies of lore and history afforded to all corners of it truly do in tandem to establish the world of genshin as more Real. as weightier. as a place you grow and remain attached to even when the main storys writing stumbles. the world is so important and to let it remain feeling real is just. i hope they understand how fragile of a gem that is.

featuring an artificial world order established by fraudulent divinity and that involving some degree of cosmic fuck-uppery of the natural order and all-encompassing illusion to maintain it is fine. this is a story heavily referencing gnosticism that theme is literally a given. but it needs to be an artificial world order imposed on a real world that remains feeling real the entire time through. and for that to be preserved it needs to remain grounded.

but the problem is that once a story truly commits to the "anything could be altered and fundamentally reversed with the right mcguffin at play with seeming impunity" there is no going back. it becomes very fucking difficult to keep the figurative feet of a narrative even touching the ground for even the most skilled of writers afforded absolute creative freedom to work with (which genshin does not have). and just that much more easier for the stakes to be lost completely. and i dont want to see that scenario become reality

[vulpiximisa]

so i finally finished chapter 0 and if the rest of the cases are going to be like this i low key wanna die

the mystery labyrinth is sooooooo long???? at first glance it looks super cool but then you realize youre just making yuma walk down a long corridor while him and shinigami talk. And he cant even run any faster

and like, how many modes/mini games are there???? the reasoning death match yeah, okay valid. interesting to see yuma literally dodging the verbal assaults, i like the sword over bullets but whatever

then you chose between door options, not sure if theres a DR equivalent of that but okay, but must we see yuma getting slashed every single time

then theres the “reinvestigate the mind crime scene” like uhhhhh sure. I personally hate these kinds of “lets replicate the crime scene” types (AAI Kay’s Little Thief) because its like, how Valid are these clues anyway if youre physically not there

then theres the minecart which is mind logic, fine, i guess

shinigami beach barrel is... a better version of hangmans gambit but not too much better. I like her eye beams. 

GOD gami is.... the idea is funny but iunno why we needed it (their version of the bullet time battle i think?)

AND WE STILL RECREATE THE CRIME IN A COMIC FORM but its in the death note book. ????????? like i get that the wrap up is is necessary but was the comic book format the only way? The stills are very nice though but it loses the charm from DR where it had a different overall style from the rest of the game

like my take away from this first case (its not even the first case its case 0 and now im on the prologue???????) is the graphics are nice but that labyrinth went on for waaaay too long and i dont know if the dialogue is just not for me anymore but it just being yuma and gami is already tiring.

Theres a lot of just talking sequences and yeah in the end of the day its supposed to be a little more than a visual novel but it just feels so slow sometimes?

rip those detectives in the first case, what a waste of characters. i mean, maybe we will re open the case or see mentions of them later but iunno, somehow doubt

Okay so i had already deduced Zilch as the culprit, knowing he used Aphex’s body as a duplicate. (Nice call back to DR1-5). I knew Car 1 and 5 were swapped but I guess I didn’t understand the world enough because of the existence of Shinigami and the “Fortes” so I was under the impression that Zilch’s real Forte was to make things swap and he was lying about the animals. The fact that they explained the whole train car swap logically made me feel like i was thinking too far like a professor layton mystery lmfao.

My dumb ass did not remember the names of the characters so i was having a ball during the minecart mind logic part

anyway on to the prologue, i know as hell that yakou is a fan favorite. everybody loves a scruffy gintoki voiced by koyasu. (not me, but i know ppl like older 20s/young 30s year old “dads”)

[goblin-enjoyer]

why must twitter be my main source for meme harvesting. so much doom scrolling, i get why but also i kind of wish I could get some relief from it all before the big day. Like either way its gonna be worse tomorrow I just want some nice funny memes,jokes and posts in general. It doesn't help that I have no clue on how to vote in the slightest, like it seems like its handwriting stuff, but also fill in the dots?? From what i can gather from vaguely worded garbo commercials that constantly air it seems like its formatted as "question [NUMBER] yes or no" without much actual detail on the specifics of the question. I wouldn't know because literally everything i see seems to contradict each other! How in the world is a git with little to no political knowledge supposed to figure this out?? Everytime I see anything on the voting process it always seems almost intended to not make any sense on purpose! Its always discussed online about policies and how to get your vote to the right place (which its important! very much so, i am not downplaying the import of that) not on the actual format of the voting pamphlet-thing! I don't even know what form it takes! Is it a MCAS style giga packet? Is it a single sheet of paper with bubbles to fill in? is it threw a machine? is it something you have to get printed and mail out or is it something i could just find online and put my ID into? I JUST GOT MY ID LITERALLY ONLY A FEW MONTHS AGO. I swear it feels like I wasn't supposed to progress as a person this far and the universe just gave up with my character progression after the final school arc. like it was support to be another few month hiatus before the next school arc started back up but it got delayed so far that nobody knows if its still coming or just cancelled so its in a limbo of minor basic arcs about a background side character the writers never planned on having a story for. so they never put any motivations for them and just had them be a school setting only character. no extended roster of interactions with other more well written characters that build up both characters arcs. no bothering with writing in skills that all the other characters earn, why bother this character isn't meant to go past this series, no use in having to write explanations for knowing how to drive or having a job. ugh this post is deteriorating, why must the only way to explain how i feel about my life sometimes be through media tropes and crap. while i'm happier with my life now and enjoy living as i do, there's nothing really for me. I can't drive as i suck with directions and am afraid i can't handle all the buttons and rules all while dealing with other drivers while going around in a death fast metal box fuelled by explosions, i'm not built for having any conventional job as im too autistic (to put it simply) to or weak/low energy to be doing stuff like that. I have no motivation to do anything, I cant even ask my dad for a SITUATIONAL raise on my maybe 20 dollars a week allowance. it feels like my life wasn't supposed to get this far. i feel like a useless pile of biomass rotting around stale while everyone who knows me slowly loses hope in me amounting to anything. my parents know it,my friends know it, my younger brother is the only one foolish enough to still seem to me like they have hope in my future. he has been pushing me to vote on his behalf as he cant vote yet and that's been putting on so much pressure on me to get everything right that I just slink away and compress and wrap around myself in what feels like a dark corner of being. everything feels bad because I want to vote somewhat, my closest compatriots are LGBTQ+ i am a autistic person! I should be voting against the tigers eat your face party! but i just can't, it feels like the weight of deep sea pressure on me making me unable to move. it feels awful, i can't even do this one basic thing that everyone else can, why do i even still exist? Maybe young me was right, maybe i was meant to die before adulthood.

[journalofsorts2]

y'know what fuck it, here's an (incomplete) list of things that could be resolved with a totk dlc or just general things i didn't enjoy in the story:

1) after the princess sightings quest, penn is left distraught and i feel his story could be continued in dlc

2) why is tulin a sage? all the other sages are who you adventured with in botw except for tulin in exchange of teba. why?

3) where the fuck is all the shekiah tech? i get that they dismantled it after the calamity because most of hyrule was not ready to trust it again, i get that, that makes sense. where did it go? those divine beasts were fucking huge, surely at least their remnants would be scattered in desolate parts of hyrule? literally the foundation of the castle was shekiah tech, ganon's chamber was a giant shekiah room.

4) one of my biggest complaints, where is more champion mentions? if you lived under a rock and had no clue who the champions were before playing totk, you would've had no clue why it was called revali's landing. mipha got her statue moved and a few mentions but that was obligatory because she still has living relatives. daruk has his face carved on the mountain but i think that was about it. and tbh i don't remember a whole lot of urbosa mentions but idk it's been a hot minute. i get their spirits moved on, but come on give us something

5) the memory remembering format worked well for botw because it was your own memories, but it doesn't make as much sense in totk with the dragons tears. tbh it just kinda felt like a way to spoon-feed the player plot

6) [MAJOR SPOILER] why the fuck did zelda get turned back to normal in the end? i get that it makes for a nice happy ending, but it made absolutely zero sense. dragonification was supposed to be irreversible yet she was brought back pretty easily with absolutely no explanation

7) piggybacking off the last one, why did link get his arm back? i get rauru taking his arm back in the end, his spirit is moving on whatever, but why did link get a fully healed arm back? his arm was so badly decayed it would've have killed him before, so surely it would've been cut off back there. why wasn't he just an amputee at the end of the story? again no explanation for rauru and sonia's general powers

8) more plot for the sages back in the past. they felt like empty vessels. the champions got so much fucking plot in botw while still telling the story of their descendents. it really shouldn't have been so hard to make up some story for those sages.

9) why didn't mineru talk the moment you got the purah pad? she was stored away in there so why she only decide to talk as soon you got to where she wanted you to be?

10) why is the landscape so different from botw? the depths, the caves, the sky islands, all brand new, how did it get there? maybe i just missed something in my playthrough but i don't remember a real clear cut answer for that. i get that most of it can be chalked up to the upheaval messing with the terrain or whatever (which is a shit explanation btw) but like the caves? how do you explain those? is it like an alternate timeline like age of calamity? did the upheaval cause like a split timeline or something? idk man.

i know im forgetting shit i want to complain about but i have the memory of a goldfish so this is my list for now, might add more later idk. this is what happens when you prioritize gameplay over story. yeah cool we can make a car, i however, care about the lore. didn't aonuma literally say something like he didn't give a shit about the overall timeline?? that is not the man who should be leading the project im sorry

the fact that there's not going to be any totk dlc specifically because they 'feel like they've done all that they can with this world' or whatever is so fucking stupid. im sorry, i really did enjoy totk but the story is half baked at best, whether it's the main line story, or side character's stories, or even the game's place in the overall timeline, the nicest possible descriptor for all of it is half baked. botw was absolutely fantastic, especially in it's story. everything really felt tied up nice and neat. but totk was developed with gameplay first and story second and it fucking shows. and dlc is literally the perfect opportunity to fix that. i could start listing off all the plot holes or loose ends that could be tied up in totk dlc but it would just genuinely be too long a list. i love totk, but now that the initial release hype has settled, it's extremely clear that botw was the better game. don't make a sequel to perfection just to explore more gameplay mechanics. you actually need a story to go along with those mechanics. and it especially sucks because there was so many cool things they could've done with the story. age of calamity explored some of those elements wonderfully but the hyrule warriors format is not the way i wanted to explore this iteration of hyrule.

[enderspawn]

theres this fic idea i’ve been thinking of for a long while now (honestly i've had this specific post drafted since may of this year, so maybe since january or so) and want to eventually write one day, but if im being honesty with myself i'm not sure if i ever will, so im at least putting it out there now.

its a chip analysis piece (likely in some kind of 5+1 format, primarily from jay’s POV) specifically between chip and his relationship with food. the simple fact he’s always been this scrawny malnourished street kid when growing up outside of the black rose means a lot to me, and it would likely cause a lot of habits or behaviors the others wouldnt have or possibly even understand to begin with which would be a fun thing to explore and how it can reveal more abt him.

scenes/topics that would be Covered will be under cut

1 ---

the first thing that immediately comes to mind is an analysis and expansion upon his canon interactions with food in canon, such as the bag of chip’s jay gives him on loffinlot or the cinnamon roll incident

for one, the fact that jay carries snacks at all is kind of indicative and would likely be the focus. use jay's pov to explain how she’s learned to bring snacks on adventures since teaming with chip (likely with comments being somewhat snide or huffy about it, or comparing him to a child demanding/needing a snack, since they are still kind of strangers and she doesn’t know much about chip).

(if desired, it could also expand on how he fuckin’ made that small bag of chips last so long. yes the true answer is “because it was funny” but like… rationing behavior? jay might make an absent note of it (due to her observant feat), but wouldn’t likely extrapolate further at the time. also may be cut entirely for messing with story flow too much to include as a detail.)

the cinnamon roll scene is… listen he literally tried to share food with someone and broke down crying doing so because he loves them and wants to share that. obvious example of using food as a language for love and appreciation (which, again, takes on another level when you remember he comes from a food-scarce background). like thats just a thing that happened i don’t care if it was a goof that’s just canon. bite me. 

2 ---

observation of chip having "weird" behaviors with food. these include having a seemingly massive appetite and being sure to always clean his plate (you don’t turn down access to food and you take what you can in case you can’t do it again soon.) 

but also: as part of chip kind of projecting onto ollie, he’s always trying to pawn more food onto ollie’s plate. sometimes it’s as subtle as saying he’s “not hungry anymore” and scrapping whats left to ollie (which would catch jay’s eye because previously he’s always finished his plate even when full and clues her in) to as obvious as literally giving him more and saying he needs to eat more.

both the above points would be stuff jay would 1. spot and 2. actually take note of/care about, around after desire island or so. 

3 ---

immediately after leaving allport, i think seeing reuben would bring back a bunch of chip's old habits and cause him to backslide a bit. after all, even if they were a “family”, they were also still a gang of street rats. on instinct, he would end up showing a lot of food guarding habits (being overly protective of people taking it, hiding food in a stash, etc). he likely also had these habits for a while after joining with jay and gillion, but after episode 16 when they started slowly getting closer the habits faded because he knew he could trust them. 

4 ---

this is such a minor point in comparison to the rest of this list but i can see it so clearly in my brain. chip has an apple (likely stolen tbh) and he takes a bite out of it and leans against a wall. jay either makes a snide comment towards him about it or just snorts or something, prompting chip to hold it up towards her and go “you want some?” in a snarky way (speaking with his mouth full all the while).

jay rolls her eyes and says yes and gets startled when chip actually throws her the apple. she yelps, catching it, then throws it back immediately while yelling something like “ew, no, you took a bite of it already! i was kidding! gross!” chip feigns being wounded and retorts with something like “and here i was willing to expose myself to your stink getting on my apple–” and cue bickering between them about cooties. 

he just straight up was willing to share the apple, thoughts abt "the fact he already bit into it" don’t register for him bc its such a non-issue in his mind. he offers to share about any food he has/makes because its a silent way to show he cares. i don’t think he’s fully conscious of that fact though. in general i think chip responds a lot better to subtle actions showing love than words of love and this is just another example of that from him

(following this is likely where cinnamon roll scene would go in the fic, both timeline-wise and thematically, since this section is focused more or less on "sharing your food as a sign of love")

5 ---

this next section would be the most plot heavy or traditional “fic” affair, in that it’s not solely fluff padding/analysis and has some original storybits.

the crew would be stranded on an island. i don’t know how exactly, but the key parts is that they don’t have their ship, there’s no one else on the island, and they have limited resources/rations. presumably they know rescue is coming, but ideally they don’t know exactly when (for drama purposes, as well as to make proper rationing out supplies p much impossible). perhaps the grandberry crew is on their way to save them, but they ended up on this island after a storm and don’t know where they are to point the grandberry pirates to. something like that.

actually, this plays out very similarly to the ollie part as detailed earlier, but to the left. as the crew starts to struggle with rations, chip would start (subtly when possible) start giving up his own portions. either by feigning lack of appetite, persuasion, deception, etc. the closest he comes to stating the truth would be when someone (likely ollie) asks if he’ll be okay going without his portion and chip shrugs then leans back on his elbows with a smirk and goes “nah, i’m used to it anyway.”

this is when the rest of the crew also starts to pick up on chip’s behaviors, to the point it becomes a bit of an unspoken secret they don’t want to dig into. previously, and the reason the entire fic is from Jay's POV, shes been the only one observant enough to take notice off all these traits. this is when it becomes So obvious everyone notices it.

6 ---

preferably, near the beginning of the story (likely after the chip bag incident, but before jay starts noticing all of chip’s behaviors, so that she cares for him more than she’s annoyed by him but hasn't put together any real dots-- between section 1 and 2), there would be a section where chip is mocked for his short height (as the shortest of the crew, at around 5’4) and being VERY easy for gillion to carry. 

then, after the island section (section 5), there would be another part where chip’s height and weight are commented on. i'm undecided if this would be another light hearted goof scene or a more “dramatic” serious scene (which if it was it would likely be tied to the island incident. maybe an injury or argument or something?).

either way, it happens because jay ends up lifting/carrying chip. jay “8 in strength” ferin. he’s just fuckin light. afterwards, chip would explain saying something like “its not my fault! cause like– outside of arlin, i was kind of a street rat growing up, yknow? they arent particularly known for having a stable food situation, didn’t get all the nutrients and junk you need to grow tall”. it starts as a joke and a kind of light-hearted ribbing defense, but kind of sobers up in that melancholic-nostalgic way by the end.

it’s the first time he directly states anything abt his upbringing and food to his crew, but its a confirmation. well, its a confirmation for jay. everyone else definitely knew something was going on, but jay is the one who is able to connect all the pieces bc she’s the only one whos noticed all the other pieces. she gets the Whole Picture of how his childhood and upbringing caused all these behaviors and kind of what they imply abt chip's behavior now (like the food sharing as love, smothering ollie, etc)

+ 1 ---

for a cheesy ending bonus, have jay use a mix of chip’s anecdotes abt the black rose and drey’s shaky memory to try and cook up a meal he used to have there. (for bonus, if desired she could reach out to lizzie too since lizzie lived with the old chef shay).

depending on author preference, either its good and chip cries because of the ~*memories*~ and the fact they cared enough, or it’s comically awful and not much at all like the original but the sole fact that they went out of their way to very obviously try SO hard to surprise him with this because they thought it would make him happy (as well as trying to speak to him in his own love language) makes him cry about it anyway. 

(again, chip responds better to acts of love than words-- having his crew not only notice this abt him, but then do something to try and show that love hits him way harder than anything else could)

[calpops]

honeymoon | c.h.

Your honeymoon with Calum is two weeks of bliss, snow, and going home. 

1k words 

Copyright © 2020 calpops. All rights reserved. This original work is not allowed to be reposted on any platform in any format (translations included). 

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Calum’s hand takes yours and you feel the coolness of his wedding band, it sends shivers up your spine and contentment through your heart. His grip is loose and he swings your arms back and forth as you walk through the airport with luggage toted behind you. You’re not sure how he had managed to keep your honeymoon destination a secret until landing but he did it and surprise hits you when snow whirls outside the windows. The location and its climate explains the long pants and sweaters he had packed in your suitcase but not the bathing suit, shorts and sun hats. You ask about them but all he does is shrug and smirk and tell you to wait and see. Calum has everything arranged—the ride from the airport to a small cabin situated in the mountains, the cabin warm and spread with your favorite flowers. Your luggage gets abandoned as Calum decides scooping you up and carrying you over the threshold is more important.

He sets you down in the small living area where a fireplace stacked with logs greets you. Though the cabin is warm a chill runs through from the open door and you shiver, but it doesn’t last long as Calum wraps his arms around you, dips down to kiss your cheek and brush hair from your face.

“We’re married,” he says, the two words becoming much like a mantra as disbelief still sits with you both. You sway in his arms and blush as you look up at him.

“Everything is perfect,” you praise, hoping he knows you mean everything from the wedding to the cabin you stand in now. To him. “But we should probably shut the door.”

Calum laughs as a blow of chilly air comes in through the open door. Your luggage still sits on the small front porch. You both go out to bring it in and shut the door so the warmth can stay with you and the cold can stay outside. Large snowflakes fall from the sky and add to the blanket of white claiming the ground. You’ve travelled with Calum before, usually going to warmer places with beaches and sunsets. The contrast is stark and white and the sights of the mountain and snow that dazzles from sunlight are beautiful. You’d go anywhere in the world with Calum. He starts a fire and turns back to look at you as flames flicker to life. He glows golden from the light and you pat the couch cushion beside the one you’ve settled on.

The night previous was long and filled with excited bliss and lovemaking. You’d talked of starting a family, not wanting to wait any longer, and then set out to try and achieve it. You stayed up until the sun claimed the sky and then raced to the airport to make it to snowy hills. Exhaustion hangs thick and weary in the air, content sighs follow as Calum settles next to you and doesn’t hesitate to pull you into his arms.

“You like it?” Calum asks, eyes darting around the charming cabin.

You nod as a realization strikes you. “It’s very private.”

All you could ever want for a honeymoon is time with Calum. Uninterrupted. Just you and him and the warmth of being with each other.

“Good, we have an entire week here,” he says.

“I thought we had two weeks?” You ask, knowing he had said two weeks for the honeymoon.

“One week here,” he responds and noses at your cheek before giving you a kiss. “Next week is another surprise.”

You smile and find yourself spending the week between soft sheets, keeping each other warm, in the hot tub on the back deck, out on the mountain with cold noses that rub together and trying to start a family, all while dreaming of your hopes. Most nights bring candlelight and soft music. After days of roaming the mountain and spending time in the snow you’re both content to head for the bedroom where a king sized mattress bids you well. You pull him into bed, his lips roaming your skin, whispered words of want slipping from his lips, your body reacting to the desires between you both. He mumbles words of praise and compliments that make you shiver. You respond in kind, his name a song on from your lips as you sigh. You know each other and all of the things that drive the other wild. His hands roam and wander and his lips leave marks where you like them best. Highs are reached and come down into soft holds and small kisses peppering each other’s faces. More desires are traded as nights drag along. Talk of a family claims your discussions.

Time slips by in bliss and one week seems too short. Your goodbyes to the mountain are filled with sorrow. You don’t think that anywhere could ever get better but you’re willing to find out so long as it’s with Calum. He makes you close your eyes through the airport, his hand leading you and headphones claiming your ears so announcements won’t spoil the surprise. You’re not sure where you are when you land, nothing about the airport is of note, nothing about the view gives anything away but when Calum tells you there’s another flight in store you have an inkling of where you’re headed, the time and preparation for the sun clueing you in.

Another flight slips past though it’s long, you sleep against Calum and wake to his grin and a summer sky greeting you. He’s brought you home to Australia where summer is warm and those shorts and sun hats in your suitcase will be put to good use. You end up in a hotel near the beach, spend your time under the sun, trading kisses and bliss in the sand, in the hotel bed and shower and seemingly never take your hands off of each other. You both find new habits of twisting your wedding rings, holding each other’s hands and staring at the bands in wonder and awe as you dream about the family you want. It’s a subject that comes up when you go to visit Calum’s parents during a day you’re able to drag yourselves away from the beach and the bed and each other; somewhat, he still holds your hand and kisses your cheeks and keeps you close. They broach the topic and where Calum would have hesitated before, uncertain eyes flickering to you and then away, he answers right away, a sureness capturing his voice.

“We want at least two kids,” he tells his mum one afternoon you’ve taken her to lunch. “Sooner rather than later.”

You watch as his mom lights up and coos about grandbabies. When lunch is over and you find yourselves alone again, laid on the beach with the sun in your eyes and the crash of waves on the shore you turn to Calum.

“I love your family,” you say, starry eyed at the prospect of being parents like his—loving and caring and always there.

“They’re your family too,” Calum says softly and brushes your cheek with his thumb.

You smile and nod, knowing that’s true.

“Maybe we’ll have a start to ours when we get home,” Calum says with longing in his voice and softness in his eyes. “I can’t wait to be a parent with you.”

You can’t either. You’re not sure what will happen when you get home. If his words will come to life or if more time will be needed but you know you’ll be together through it all.

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[voidlitmoon]

One Trainer’s Trash is Another Pokemon's Family

So if you didn't know, i ended up taking a hiates from writing ANYTHING for a bit, but I was just sitting around earlier and thought "huh, there was that oneshot I kinda wanted to write" and BOOM im formating this at 2am when I finished writing so I can just post this in the morning.

Also note me writing this does not mean I'm fully back to writing because I tbh have no clue when I'll be back in full writing mode, a lot of stuff is going on irl around health issues (I'm good dont worry, just trying to figure out this issue so we can fix it) and my mind hasn't been able to put words together into written sentences well recently for anything, so exspect everything and nothing!!

So @sugarglider9603.... enjoy! If anyone seems off its probably because I haven't wrote in like 4 months :D

Ao3 link

Ao3 series link

Master Post

Words: 1,651

Summery: ' "I found a child in the trash!" Trash Eevee declared happily. The Eevee on watch somehow looked skeptical from behind, but curiosity got them to turn around.

Green and brown surprised eyes hit his own, he felt as the others eyes looked him over from his unnaturally purple eyes to dark brown fur.

"I.. I-" the other stammered in surprise.

"Can we keep him?" His founder vibrated, excited. '

 

A chance encounter is about to change three lives forever

“Slow down!” the Eevee hissed to his companion, running through the crowd of humans to catch up. His green and brown eyes swept the crowd, making sure no one grew suspicious and followed the two Eevees, sighing as he thankfully saw everyone's gaze sweep past them, uninterested.

There had been a few incidences when a trainer or a ‘nurse’ had tried to catch them, whether for his strange fur markings, trying to get his friend’s fur cleaned (no one held him for long once that information was leaked), or purely for them being Eevees. He’d heard it all, common lines being “hey are you lost?”, “where is your trainer?”, “is that a wild Eevee?” and of course, the most common

“I’ve got to catch it!”

Heh, no one had succeeded yet, and he didn’t plan that to change any time soon. Or ever.

“Not sorry” the simple line snapped him out of his thoughts as he looked over to the grinning Eevee that probably did need a bath “but I heard yelling in the back alley of the Good Place, and I just have to see if it's new!” The ‘Good Place’ was a restaurant the two constantly saw in their travels from town to town. While they couldn’t read the written name, and wouldn’t dare get close enough to a human to simply know the name when it had no use to them, it always had an identical symbol at every location. It was his trash loving companions (and though he would never admit it, his own as well) favorite location to get food.

“Very well, lead the way” with a flick of their tails, they rounded the last few corners to the back alley where two large dumpsters lay. As a Trubbish scurred off at the sight of them they both leapt up, balancing as they opened one off the lids.

He sat watch as the other squealed and dove in, rummaging through and ripping open plastic bags with sharp teeth. They always had the same parts when working together, he would keep watch making sure no one saw them from the regular path or had any workers walk out the door, while the other would search, eating what he wanted and tossing stuff up to save for later. They had tried to swap jobs once, but it was a mess that nearly got them caught if it wasn’t for his own keen ears, so they kept to their own and worked together.

He glanced at the door, the symbol imprinted on it. Doing this dumpster diving always reminded himself when he was alone. How he’s grateful to have a friend. Actually, doing it at the Good Place always reminded himself when he met the trashy Eevee. It was just after-

A paw swatted at his face, causing him to dodge. He seemed to be falling into nastolga easily today, he thought shaking it out of his fur.

“Did you hear me? I said all these bags have already been looked through” the other huffed “they must have used the other one, which is weird because they usually use the one closer to the door first….” he frowned, confused before brightening “anyways can you help me open the other lid?”

The clean Eevee nodded, hopping across to the other dumpster.

______________________________

 

Sta- he shivered, the angry yells still echoing in his ears. She was so mad when she discovered there was no dragon evolution, when she finally discovered he was completely useless. He glanced at the snapped pokeball at his paws, fallen through a space between a few garbage bags.

 

He knew he had to get out of here, but what was the point? He was with a trainer up till now, and while she was horrible he was still at least alive. But to try and survive on his own? No, he might as well just curl up on this garbage, might as well just

A scene flash in his mind, of a Pecha bush laying under a sprawling indigo sky. Two other faces similar yet different then his, laughing, smiling.

 

He couldn't give up, not yet, not until he could find them again.

 

Chatter and a crash of heavy plastic hitting a wall distracted him from the thoughts racing through his head. He pressed low against the bags, ears flat as he waited. Were there people taking trash out? No.. that didn't sound human, that sounded

 

The lid thunked twice, before late afternoon light poured down onto his dark brown fur. He froze as another pokemon fell down in front of him, another Eevee.

 

He was bigger, though everyone was bigger. His fur seemed to be a normal shade of brown, yet it was hard to tell with all the dirt and dust coating it. He looked up into the newcomer's eyes, surprise and delight filled them to the brim.

 

"Oh? OH!" The other gasped for only a moment before flashing forwards, grabbing him lightly by his scruff and before he knew it St- he was in open air and sat on the hard plastic lid.

 

"Hey hey!" The Eevee scrambled across to another Eevee, his turned back to the both of them. The third Eevee's ear twitched to show they were listening, watching the humans walk by.

 

"I found a child in the trash!" Trash Eevee declared happily. The Eevee on watch somehow looked skeptical from behind, but curiosity got them to turn around.

 

Green and brown surprised eyes hit his own, he felt as the others eyes looked him over from his unnaturally purple eyes to dark brown fur.

 

"I.. I-" the other stammered in surprise.

 

"Can we keep him?" His founder vibrated, excited.

 

"Hmm" seemingly gaining his composure, the one on watch came over to inspect him further, sniffing curiously at his fur "I don't think so, he smells too much of humans" the trash Eevee visibly shrunk.

"No!" He cried, snapping his jaw closed at the sudden speaking "I, I me- mean no, I had a trainer, but I don't have one anymore" he attempted to explain, hissing at himself for stuttering.

 

"I uh" he coughed, attempting to clear his throat, "I, I'm sorry for disturbing your search" he flicked his tail toward the two before curling it around himself, finally looking into the others faces. It was at the moment he noticed the strange markings around the single green eye on the watcher.

 

"It's no problem," the calmer one replied. He looked as if he were about to continue, before the trash Eevee popped "hey, have you gotten food today?"

 

He blinked, thinking about all that happened since dawn. Dawn, when his trai- ex-trainer had learned the news.

 

"I.. haven't?" He tried, not wanting to test his luck. They were strangers, he had to be cautious.

 

"Here!" The other dove back into the trash. He leaned over frantically, thankful to see the pokeball halfs had sunken out of sight. If they ever asked why he was in there, he would just tell them he was looking for food.

No one would find out the true reason. Well.. maybe two others, but that would have to wait till he found them again. He would find them again.

 

The walking trash pile hopped back up, dropping what seemed to be a freshly thrown away berry skewer at his feet.

 

He looked up, alarmed "no, I couldn't-" "oh don't worry" the other's purr sounded like a motorcycle "we'll survive without a few berries."

 

While he was still uncertain, his stomach grumbled with hunger so he bent down and took a bite of closest fully intact berry. When the sweet familiar taste hit his mouth, he barely stopped the tears. Arceus really had to do that, didn't they.

 

"Everything ok?" He looked up from the Pecha berry, the special marked Eevee looking at his watery eyes with concern.

 

"Y-yes, just haven't eaten anything this sweet in a while" he lied quickly, finishing what he could before pushing towards the others "here, might as well not let this go to waste" he smiled.

 

The marked Eevee hummed before taking a bite from a nearby Oran berry.

 

After a bit, the dirty Eevee spoke a question he knew was coming "so, you said you had a trainer, do you have a name?"

 

He paused, thinking, before shaking his head "she never gave me one."

 

The others nodded in understanding. He looked out at the people walking in the street, passing by with no clue of the trio sitting on the dumpsters.

 

He didn’t have a name, not to them at least. To them, he would be the Eevee that they found, the Eevee they took in, the Eevee one day they would realize they see as a brother, the Eevee that would inevitably disappear in the back of a truck

One day there would be another family, they would know him as Virgil, Virgil who they found in the forest, Virgil who followed them everywhere, Virgil who got caught finally by his own free will

But no one would know him as Star but his original family. No one would know him as Star, the being who hatched into the world with an angry scream that was not his own, Star, the one who fell in love with the sky on his first night of his existence, Star, the one who found family and then was ripped away from it in his sleep

Star, who would keep searching till the ends of the Earth to find his family.

 

But for now, he was just a strange looking Eevee in a strange situation, hiding his name from everything and everyone, and that was ok.

 

He glared at the crowd of humans walking by peacefully. There was only one thing left from his life with.. with the Dragon, one thing he would keep

He would never trust another human again.

[fandom-writing-madness]

I couldn’t find any rules to follow about requesting, so I hope this doesn’t break any boundaries. Can you do a scenario of deku, Bakugou, and shoto getting a message from a friend saying that they had found the boys s/o on a dating app under a different name? And when the three confront their s/o, they basically go “that’s my twin, bud.” And proceed to show pictures of the two together or FaceTime the twin or something to prove it?

 I just wanna say that I really like this idea, seems pretty funny and hopefully I can make it seem that way ^0^ It kinda seems like this was formatted to be a poly relationship but I can’t tell for sure so… I’m gonna write them separate. 

(Also, this will be the only request I do that has multiple characters for scenarios, this is because I failed to specify how many characters I would do for hcs and scenarios in my rules before this was sent in, so the fault is with me and I’m not gonna deny this request because of it)   

Izuku, Bakugou and Shoto with an S/O who has an identical twin: 

Izuku Midoriya:

You were surprised when the door to your room was pushed open in a rush and the figure that had pushed it open ran straight to you. You got so startled that you stumbled backwards but managed to catch yourself, staring at the person right in front of you. 

“I-Izuku?! What are you doing here?” Your voice held just as much confusion as your question did. He looked at you for a brief moment before he looked away, but that gave you just enough of a chance to see some tears in his eyes. Shock and worry filled your body “Izuku what happened?!” You reached for one of his hands with both of yours, in hopes to get him to look at you. 

When he did, your heart sped up and your worry doubled, you were stunned into silence at the sight. He looked like he might have been crying before coming to visit you, but there was no way of telling for sure because he seemed like he JUST started to cry. He took a breath before speaking.

“Is it true?” His voice cracked as he looked you straight in the eyes. 

What? “Izuku… what are you talking about?” you stared back, with so much confusion. He pulled out his phone and pulled up a picture of you with someone else, a picture that showed you giving someone else a kiss on the cheek with a smile on your face. Or… at least that’s what he thought was you. 

You stared at the phone for a few second longer before looking away to laugh. It was both funny and not at the same time, but you couldn’t stop the laughter that this situation caused. “What are you laughing about y/n?” You could hear the confusion is his voice, though it still held sadness. 

“Izuku…. That’s not me” you responded after you got a hold of your laughs. “That’s my twin” You looked at him with a smile before pulling your phone out of your pocket. You swiped it open and searched for your siblings contact, pressing on the call button when you found it. 

You smiled more once your sibling picked up and greeted you, asking what’s up. Sitting down on your bed you patted the spot next to you, encouraging Izuku to do the same. Once he sat down, you moved your phone so he could see your screen and once you did, you looked over at him to see his reaction. The only way to describe it pure shock. 

“This is my twin Izuku, this is the one you saw in the photos you thought were me.” You couldn’t help but smile as he just stared at your phone in shock, until his face changed. He looked guilty. “I-Im sorry y/n” You were confused so you asked “What for?” 

“For assuming that you would do something like that, I should have more trust in you, and so I apologize for thinking that was you” He bowed his head. You could’t help but giggle a bit “It’s alright! It’s my fault too for or not telling you about my twin, so I can understand why you thought it was me at first” As you looked down at your phone you could see your twin giving you a look of confusion, so you decided to tell your sibling what had happened. Afterward they just laughed at you for forgetting and apologized on your behalf. 

That night you and Izuku spent the night together, watching a movie and cuddling under a blanket. 

Bakugou Katsuki:

You nearly jumped out of your skin when your door flew open before stopping with a harsh thud. You were pretty sure you heard a crack or two when the door collided with the wall. When you looked over at your door you couldn’t see anything thanks to the smoke coming off of the door but that was enough of a clue as to who is was. 

“Katsuki! Why couldn’t you just open the door! You didn’t need to blast it! Plus it’s late, think about the others!” You pouted as you the smoke cleared up, letting you get a good look at him. He seemed really agitated, his body moving with his heavy breaths and the scowl on his face gave that away. You grew a little nervous, you couldn’t think of anything that would make him this angry at the moment.

He moved towards you, his footsteps heavy and quick, he was on edge. He didn’t stop till he was directly in front of you, staring you straight in the eyes with a scowl still on his face. 

“y/n, you’ve got some explaining to do” He growled out through clenched teeth, putting you on edge as well. What was he talking about?

“Katsuki… I don’t know what you’re talking about…” You stared at him in confusion. You could see a brief moment of pure hurt cross his features before its covered up by his anger and he pulls out his phone, scrolling, looking for something. Then his fingers stop and he looks at you before showing you a photo of you with someone else, holding hands as you and the other person pose for the selfie. 

You stare at the photo in shock for a moment, before looking away. You wanted to laugh but didn’t want to make the situation worse, so you held back. You could hear Bakugou huff and shift his stance and looked back over to him. He looked away before asking “So, who is he?” 

You opened your mouth to respond but couldn’t find the right words so you opted to showing him instead. You pulled out your phone and opened it. Out of your peripheral vision you swore you saw him flinch and look slightly down, enough to where his bangs could cover his face, showing only his frown. You frowned too. You decided to speak up while looking for the contact, “Kastuski, I promise you it’s not me” Once again you could see him scowl, his whole body trembling in anger. 

“Who is it then?! You can’t say that’s not you in the damn picture!” You looked up after pressing the button on your phone, seeing the anger and slight hurt on his face, causing you to frown and look back down at your phone.  

“I’d like you to say hi” You were talking at whoever was on your phone and before Bakugou could speak agian, you put the screen up to face him. He stopped whatever he was gonna say and stared in shock at the screen. You smiled a little at the reaction “Katsuki, this is my twin, the person you saw in the photo” You could hear your sibling speak up through the phone, introducing themselves. 

After explaining the whole situation, Bakugou seemed to have calmed down and sat in silence after you said goodbye to your sibling and hung up. You looked over at him with a little worry before getting pulled into a hug, his arms holding you tight. You immediately hugged back, happy that he didn’t seem upset anymore. 

“I’m sorry” It was quiet, but genuine and that brought a smile to your face. 

“I’m sorry as too Katsuki, If i had introduced my twin to you before, this could have been avoided” 

You two spent the rest of the night talking about how silly the situation was now that you both knew what happened and fell asleep in each others arms. 

Todoroki Shoto:

The students could tell that something happened between you two but didn’t know what. Todoroki was avoiding you and it took a toll on your emotions for the entire day. You had no clue why he was avoiding you but it left you feeling empty and hurt. Did you do something to hurt him? Did you upset him in any way? You didn’t know but you wanted to find out. 

So when night came around, you talked yourself into going to see him and not avoid him like he was doing with you, so you walked to his room. If you did something you had to at least know so you could avoid doing it again. But you couldn’t think of anything you’ve done that could have upset him. Standing in front of his door, you took a deep breath before knocking on the door, hoping that he would open it. Thankfully he did. 

Looking up at him, you gave him a small smile telling him you needed to talk to him and asked if you could come in. He hesitated for a second before opening his door more and stepping to the side, letting you in. You thanked him and walked into the room, standing in the center before turning around to face him after he closed the door. Better to get this done and over with, you wanted to know why he was avoiding you and you weren’t going to leave the room till you found out why. 

“Why are you avoiding me Shoto?” You continued to stare at him as he turned around and stood where he was, refusing to move. He stared at you with his blank expression, to the untrained eye it would look like he wasn’t interested in this conversation, but to you, his girlfriend, you could see the hurt and defeat that showed itself through his expression. He took in a small breath before asking “Who is he?”

Que your silence and confusion. “What are you talking about Shoto?” You held your breath as he exhaled through his nose and walked towards you. Pulling out his phone and opening it he pulled up a photo and once he got to you, he showed you it. The photo was of two people, you and some dude who had his arms wrapped around your waist with one of your hands over his and the other taking the photo of you two. 

Oh. Oh that’s what this was about. 

You couldn’t help but smile a little as you looked at your boyfriend “That’s not me Shoto” You smiled to yourself as you shook your head at how silly this situation was and how you could have avoided it. “What do you mean?” He questioned, genuinely confused. 

“What I mean is, I’m an idiot for not telling you earlier” You pulled out your phone. “I guess it just slipped my mind since everyone around me knew” You could see a frown make it’s way onto his face, so everyone knew about this except him? 

You had pulled up a contact on your phone and asked for a facetime with them. You looked over at Shoto to see hurt on his and quickly explained “Shoto, I have a twin, that’s who you saw in the photo” and right at that moment the person on the other line of the call, picked up and greeted you with a smile. Shoto looked shocked so you and your twin explained the situation and made sure that that your twin, was in fact, the one in the photo.  

After the call ended you could tell that Shoto felt bad so you asked him to follow you to the kitchen, which he did. Once you got there you brought out all the items to make tea and before you could move to fill the kettle with water, a pair of arms wrapped themselves around your waist and a head rested on your shoulder. A soft “I’m sorry y/n” came from Todoroki and you smiled and put your hands over his. “It’s alright, I forgive you” You made sure he could hear that before moving your head over to his and giving his temple a soft kiss. 

—————————————

I feel that these steadily got longer as I went on…. I’m sorry Izuku ;-; And I’m sorry this took so long to get to! I haven’t felt the motivation to write these past 2 days but I felt awful ignoring these so I am kicking myself to get them done. 

Thank you so much for requesting anon! It means a lot to me and I hope that you enjoy this. Hopefully I didn’t write them too OOC and that these are actually believable  ^^’

[saint-ossifrage]

God i wish I had your determination for fic writing 😭 can I ask how you go about doing outlines, bc im horribly disorganized and I have no clue and would like to learn 🥺 (if thats okay to ask rip)

Ok so first of all. I am so sorry this got so long. Second, thank you for asking about something I love. I never get to talk about this. Unfortunately, that means I have way too much to say about it. I don’t know if you were expecting something as detailed as this...either way, take it with a grain of salt. Different people set up outlines how they like, this is just how I do it. Ok, here we gooo!

What I’m doing right now is working on a detailed chapter-by-chapter outline. I started with a vague plot that I didn’t even think I would write out because of the complexity/length. It turns out my hubris will be my downfall!

Anyway, I started with three broad plot points. Beginning, middle, and end. Example: A gets taken. X happens during their abduction. In the end, B and C rescue them. They’re broad on purpose because that makes it more flexible as I flesh it out, which is important in case I figure out there’s a plot hole or a different scenario I prefer. Then, I start nitpicking as I expand it. I like to ask simple questions. Ex. Why did A get abducted? This helps me determine what happens leading up to the fic and pushes me through the story. Consider character arcs throughout this process.

(I also ask myself how that might affect canon, but that’s because I want this fic to fit into canon without completely changing the ending. So, I lay out the pros and cons of trying to shove my fic into canon. Would this change it too much? Would it make sense at all what with X and Y? I’m kind of a freak about it when I put my mind to it, so you should by no means feel pressured to do the same!)

Once I figure out if it works or not, I start laying down the groundwork. I use Artistotle’s story structure because it’s easy to understand for me. I'm actually drawing out the chart right now. I start by assigning the exposition and rising action to chapters. Additionally, I like to know my ending because, otherwise, the middle might get muddled due to excessive meandering.

Here’s how I lay out chapters:

So on and so forth. This is just how I do it, you can format it however you want! You can have as many scenes in a chapter as you like. I try to stick to 3-4 depending on length for my own sake. I also strive to make my scenes and, more importantly, chapters end on a specific note. It could be happy, hopeful, suspenseful, sad, or even a cliffhanger.

(FYI, I specified DAY/TIME - which would be something like TUESDAY MORNING or MID-TUESDAY, etc. - because I was getting confused about how many days passed in a past fic and how that affected the current fic. I’ve learned my lesson. I estimate how much time a scene would take so I can count up how many days pass over the course of the chapters. This isn’t necessary, of course, but I included it just in case.)

Oftentimes there will be a narrative thread that will wind through multiple - if not all - chapters and this can get very confusing to keep track of. I have to consider how it will develop and build on itself, so I take some time to think through it in a separate bullet list. I write down the basics. For example, if a character gets sick at the beginning of the fic and gets steadily worse, it would look somewhat like this:

Or, if a character is grieving, I jot down the 5 stages of grief. Then, I start brainstorming about how their specific externalizations of each stage would look like.

On my doc, I have four sections. Section 1 is for the broad plot. Section 2 is for the detailed chapter outline. Section 3 is dedicated to the threads I’m fleshing out. This is also where I put the Q&A's. I’m kind of a control freak so I even highlight very important things, like motives for characters. This layout is just so I don’t get confused, but it’s not necessary.

Then there is Section 4: the scrapped bits. It’s important to be flexible while building your outline. You don’t need to completely throw away things that don’t fit! Just stick ‘em in Section 4 or some equivalent and let it rest while you cultivate this story.

Going back to the outline - I give each scene a working title that’s dumb as hell, for fun. Again, not at all necessary, but it makes me laugh. Plus, I like having chapter titles sometimes, and I can get inspiration from a scene title if it fits.

I use this outlining method specifically for multi-chapter fics. I wrote a very long crossover chapter fic in the past and it was a huge, unwieldy project. I know it's sort of the standard, but posting a chapter before the rest of them, or at least the next one, is written made it hard to keep track of all my loose threads. That's why I did a 180 and started obsessively organizing things. Unfortunately for my readers, I developed this method halfway through the fic. Oopsies :3

That’s about it. I did my best to explain it, but I’m not sure how much of this is comprehensible to someone who isn't inside my brain. If anything is unclear please ask me about it. If you can’t tell, I like talking about writing. I don’t mind. I’d feel super bad if my explanation was confusing. I hope it helps 💗

[vyladromeave]

Mr. Zvahl has updated!

Chapter 6: Forage and Found

(Read the full thing on AO3!)

(A/N: nbvGJDFSFSD THIS IS SO LATE IM SORRY. It was TECHNICALLY done like a week or so ago but it was under 1k words and i just couldnt Post It mnbdsfghfsd. ANYWAYS now its nearly 2k so hopefully thatll make up for the wait nfdsbghdjsf. i have been Neglecting Zoey so now you have to read So Much about my beautiful elf wife mndsfbhjsfdk. not much else to say, ill edit this if i can think of anything important. Also Once Again gentle reminder tht i would seriously reccomend reading this on ao3 instead because tumblr formatting makes the spacing Whack but whatever man u do u,,,, you do u,,,,,, dshjgsfd ANYWAYS Hope u enjoy!!)

.

They had been walking for some time now. She had explained on the way out there that the path used to be much clearer, but too much overgrowth in the area had made reaching difficult. It was still possible, it just took extra time. In their case, it had taken a good half-hour at least. (It could have taken longer, but he wasn’t too good at keeping track of the time these days.)

As they approached he wasn’t quite sure what to expect, but now that they were there, he realized it wasn’t actually that different from what he’d imagined. His only experience in portals were the ones that lead to the nether- it somewhat shocked him to see that this portal wasn’t much different. It was about the same size and shape, though the material was different and it gave off an energy that was much less malevolent. Even then, its aura made the hair on the back of his neck stand on end, and it wasn’t even activated.

“The portal leads to the Irene Dimension. That’s where we believe Aphmau, and all those that went with her, are trapped.” she continued.

He looked to her, silently asking permission if he could get a closer look, although she didn’t seem to notice. He took it as a yes. He approached the portal to get a closer look while she talked.

“I’ve been working for nearly a decade to find a way to open it again. Nothing has worked so far, but I’m getting close. I can feel it.”

“How so?”

She was somewhat thrown off by how direct his question is. “I- well- when I first started working on this… I didn’t really know what I was doing? I was just throwing things together, I didn’t understand any of it. And now… well, there’s a lot I still don’t understand, I won’t lie about that. Emmalyn was our resident Irene expert, but we lost her to the portal too. But I’ve also learned- I know what I’m doing now, I know the end goal. I just need to figure out how to get there.”

He nods, though his focus is still mostly devoted to the portal. He understands what she means now when she said there was a lot she didn’t understand- if he was in Zoey’s place he wouldn’t even know where to start. It takes him a solid minute to recognize that no, those “scratches” he spotted on the portal are words, and in some language he has no clue of recognizing. He shakes his head. He would love to help out, of course he would, but he isn’t cut out for this.

“Well, you’re the barrier magicks user. If anyone could do it, it’s you.”

She sighs and nods. “I suppose so. I’m not sure if it’s a good thing, but it’s better than nothing.”

“Of course it’s a good thing. The town just needs to have faith in you.”

“It’s been ten years. There’s not much faith left to go around.”

“Well, what about you? Do you think you can do it? Bring them home?”

She pauses for a second, but nods. “Yes. I do.”

“Then that’s good enough for me. That settles it.”

She gives him a look and tilts her head, confused. “Settles what, exactly?”

“I think I’d like to stay here. In Phoenix Drop. At least until everyone returns.”

“Oh!” She smiles, but took another moment to process and “Oh.” Her face drops. “I- I mean that’s great, I’m glad you’d like to stay, but- this could take years. Decades. Centuries, even. You could be long dead by the time everyone is back here.”

“That’s fine. It’s worth the wait.”

She was startled by his ease in acceptance. “That’s- I mean- you could-“ she takes a breath to calm herself. “Alright. Welcome to Phoenix Drop, Mr. Zvahl.”

~~~

She had agreed to take him out to the portal if he would do some work for her in return. Nothing too strenuous, she wasn’t cruel, but it was nice to have help every once in a while.

For as good as he was in navigating the forest, he knew next to nothing about the plant life within it. Or plant life in general. She spent a solid ten minutes explaining to him what they were looking for, “Four leaves, notched edges, somewhat pointy at the ends. You’ll know you have the right plant if the base of the leaf is much thicker than the edges.” His understanding seemed to be shaky at best, but he didn’t want to waste more time when they were supposed to be gathering. And so he wandered north, she went a bit south, and hoped that he had at least a basic understanding of what they were looking for.

She hadn’t found too many- but she figured as much. It took some time to get to the better spots where the plant often grew in, which they had instead spent observing the portal (as if she didn’t spend enough time on that blasted thing already). So she paid it no mind when he was late meeting back up by a couple minutes. And then ten went past. Then fifteen. It was just enough time to make her start to worry when she’d spotted him returning. That was another odd thing about him, sometimes he was easier to spot with your eyes than to notice with your ears. He was oddly quiet, inhumanly stealthy. She’d wanted to say he was just good at that sort of thing, but what kind of person can disappear in a forest but can’t tell an acorn from a rock? Either he was oddly talented, or there was something even odder going on here, and it bugged her a bit too much.

Her mind was taken off the question when he’d stopped in front of her and she got a good look at him. She understood now why he was late- he seemed uncomfortable, and kept shifting the rather large pile of plants he gathered around. It was a bit hard to tell with the gloves he wore, but she swore she could see splotches of red creeping up his arms.

“Is this stuff we’re gathering… supposed to be itchy?”

And just like that, her suspicions were confirmed. “Well- yes, that is normal for that plant. But it’s also not the plant I told you to gather.”

“It’s not?” He said, looking down at the bundles of leaves in his arms.

“No, it isn’t. I sent you to gather lushsprout. The plants you’re holding look like poison ivy.”

A blank expression slowly grew on his face as he stared through the plant he’d gathered and into the middle distance. A look Zoey could only describe as regret took hold, and he dropped everything he had spent so long gathering as the name finally registered in his brain.

“One moment.” he said and rushed off in the direction of what Zoey could only assume was the nearest water source, a desperate attempt to wash off the red splotches that had already begun to form on his skin. Zoey couldn’t help but snort- it was the most emoted she had seen him ever, and yet it was all so comical.

Well, there was nothing comical about poison ivy, she supposed. It was mildly annoying at best, and painful at worst- but judging by his seeming unawareness she figured he would be alright this time. It would certainly make a good story for later, at least. They had done enough herb gathering for the day.

~~~

They made their way back to Phoenix Drop, recuperating at Aphmau’s house. He washed his hands and arms once again, as well as his gloves in order to make sure they were completely poison-ivy-free. (He’d gathered too much to be completely unscathed, but it was something he could deal with.) Zoey made him tea once again, and Vylad didn’t have the heart to turn her down. Of all the citizens of Phoenix Drop, he’d grown to like her and Dante the most.

She was kind and thoughtful, and understanding of his quiet demeanor. Where Dante often barged in and forced conversation, Zoey understood the importance of silence. They hadn’t physically talked much, though he discovered that he’d somewhat enjoyed just hanging out around her, helping her gather herbs, looking at her miniature garden, whatever trivial way they decided to pass the time. She was certainly more suspicious of him than Dante was (so perhaps she was smarter too), but Vylad figured it was justified and tried to not let it bother him much.

In a strange turn of events, he ended up the one to break the silence.

~~~

“...Just how often does Kawaii~Chan bake?”

“Well, she’s been doing it less often lately, since she’s got a child to look after now, but…”

“So not too often, then?”

She could’ve sworn he sounded almost disappointed. “Gods no, Kawaii~Chan is an unstoppable force when it comes to cooking. The day there is a force strong enough to prevent her is probably the day the world ends.”

She chuckled a bit at her own joke, Zvahl never laughed (or reacted much to anything at all, she’d noticed), so she did for both of them. Maybe it was a bit conceited, but in her eyes it let them both enjoy it, even if he was reluctant to show such feelings. “Why, were you hoping to get some of her sweets yourself?”

“Uh-”

“Have you ever even had her cooking? It’s very good, I’m just not sure why you’d be so interested…”

“Yes, I did. At that breakfast, about a week ago.”

“You’ve been craving her cooking for a week? ”

“Well-”

Any form of excuse was interrupted by more of her laughter, this time it was entirely for herself. Was he so reserved that it had taken him a week to ask about something as trivial as baking? She glanced over him once again to make sure she wasn’t missing anything- only finding what she decided was a hint of embarrassment. He opened his mouth to speak, and she nearly found herself laughing again when he closed it and glanced away.

She stifled her laughter to save him from any more embarrassment, and gave him a knowing wink. “Don’t worry, I’ll put in a good word with her for you if you want. She loves to bake after all- I’m sure she’d be happy to make you something.”

It was muffled by the scarf which most of his face had retreated into, but through the cloth she swore she heard him give a mumbled, “... Thank you...”

Perhaps she was wrong. He had plenty of emotion. Zoey would just need to learn where to look.

~~~

[harelan]

im rly sorry if this is a common question you get but how do you make your gifs?? amadea is STUNNING and while im too nervous to try modding i'd love to know ur process n be able to make gifs of my inquisitors ;w ;

ahhh omg thank you!! im happy to help!!

first i’d suggest not being afraid of modding inquisition -- you can’t add new content really, just replace other stuff, so uninstalling or changing things mid-game is pretty safe! it’ll just revert back to whatever it replaced.

most important tool is the cinematic tools! basically it hacks the matrix and lets you fly cam around all the world spaces (among other things). it’s a little intimidating at first because like. looking at it you’d have no idea what most of the stuff means. playing around with it is the easiest way to figure it out, honestly. However, 

ALSO, there are some super useful keyboard shortcuts that i use:

insert toggles the free cam, delete toggles the UI (!), and home toggles the freeze time button. 

most of the footage i record is from cutscenes where the game is waiting for your inquisitor’s response, so the lighting is on them and they’re animating in a way that isn’t super weird (because it’s technically meant to be seen). 

speaking of recording, i usually use the game DVR recording software that comes with windows 10. i’ve also used NVIDIA shadowplay -- they work basically the same. you just hit windows key + alt + R and after a second a little thing will pop up that it’s recording. just make sure you set the video quality to high in your settings > Gaming > Game DVR. 

from there i use potplayer or gomplayer to manually take screencaps of every frame of my recordings. gomplayer is less precise but better at keeping up with every screen so the resulting animation is much smoother, so it’s what i usually use. (this is the same process you’d use to make gifs of any other video, too!)

important settings highlighted:

BMP is the fastest to capture, so i usually do it in that format

burst capture images is the number of frames; i usually set it to around 60 for full-width gifs and 70-80 for half- or third-width gifs. 

i have a dedicated gifs folder w lots of subfolders that makes things easy to find; i suggest doing something similar!

OH i forgot to mention, you open this dialogue box by hitting CTRL + G (in both programs). anyway, go to wherever you want to take caps from and hit burst capture, let it go, and you’re golden. 

to actually make the gif, i use a very legal copy of photoshop cs5; i’m aware that the process is similar on cs6, if that’s what you have, and i have fuckall clue what to do with photoshop CC but i’m sure there are tutorials out there. 

anyway, rather than explain it, i just made a little video with angel eyes by abba in the background. 

(probably watch it full screen at 720/1080 to see what i’m doing)

always sharpen your gifs!!!!!!!!! if you don’t want to use a sharpening action, go to filters > smart sharpen (after you’ve made your smart object) and do it there. 

coloring is hard and i’m still real bad at it after like 7 years of using photoshop so i usually download PSDs other people have made and edit them. aggregate sources of PSDs and actions (and other goodies) are at completeresources and itsphotoshop

when saving (file>save for web and devices), just save it as a gif, 256 colors, with a pattern dither (or noise, if you like how it looks better; i find diffusion looks REALLY bad). make sure you set it to loop forever. check the file size in the bottom left corner. if the file size is less than 3.00mb, you’re good, you can just upload it. if not, run it through ezgif

ezgif is the latest thing i’ve been using to optimize gifs. i usually do optimize transparency first (set to 2 or 3) and then if it’s still too big, i do lossy. the gif i made in the above video was 4.396mb, brought down to 1.54mb with optimize transparency, at no quality loss. seriously, cannot highly enough recommend.

last thing! probably should’ve put it earlier but i forgot! i use a reshade preset for inquisition, in game, that makes all the colors naturally more saturated. i’d highly recommend it just for gameplay purposes. 

oooooooooooook i think that’s it! i hope that helped and please feel free to message me again if there’s anything you don’t understand or specifically need help with!! 

[lxveille]

as in ‘crush’

joshua x reader

word count: ~ 5900 a/n: american university!AU; ambiguously non-american/non-native english speaker!reader; probably too much actual talk about IPA; the tiniest dash of  nsfw at the end

If only the course listing had warned you that concentrating in your English phonetics course would be made ten times harder by developing a truly GPA-threatening crush on one Joshua Hong.

“To facilitate pronunciation, the nasal consonant changes its place of articulation to match that of the consonant directly following…”

You are really trying to follow along with your professor’s eloquent example of an assimilation rule in the phonetics of standard English. Thus far all you have written down in your notebook, however, is just “ASSIMILATION RULES”, underlined twice with ‘homorganic nasal rule’ jotted underneath it. Since then, all you’d managed to do was rewrite over the word homorganic several times over. A part of you was trying to remember whether the professor had pronounced homorganic with five syllables or four. So at least you were still a little bit studious.

Most of you, however, is having to focus way too much on not letting your gaze flicker over to your left to where you know Joshua is sitting. He’s probably having no trouble at all following the lecture. His calm yet intensely focused gaze had been one of the first things that you’d been taken by. Other than just his overall appearance, which has been a distraction since day one of class.

“I think I’ve been mispronouncing im-polite  for years,” Seungkwan whispers to you from the desk next to you, emphasizing the nasal enough for you to clue in that he must be referencing the phenomenon your professor is going on about.

Most of those in Phonetics of the English Language are international students. Without anyone suggesting it be done, you tend to arrange yourselves in the classroom so that you’re arranged by homeland, or at least by mother tongue. You happened to be one of two in this class from your country; the other girl always sits on your right.

As it happens, the small group of students from South Korea sit to your left. Seungkwan was the one who sat on the rightmost end of that group, and so it was purely by this coincidence of this self-selected, entirely unofficial seating chart that the two of you struck up a friendship which seemed to exist exclusively within this one classroom.

You’re doing your best not to make your horrible infatuation with his friend too obvious.

“What does homo-organic mean?” you half-mouth at him, gesturing with your pen to your sorry looking notes. Seungkwan holds back a snort of laughter and shrugs at you. You give him a panicked look and then turn to your right, whispering desperately in your first language.

When you glance back over to Seungkwan, he raises his eyebrows to wordlessly ask if you got an answer.

“Can we compare notes after class?” you ask quietly. While you're posing the question, you gaze flickers beyond him and two more desks down to where Joshua is still. He has one elbow propped up on the fold-down desktop, chin resting in his palm and fingers curled in towards his lips.

“If you take notes!” he nearly threatens to go above the volume any student would dare use during side conversation.

“Shht, okay, okay,” you wave your hand at him to urge him not to risk making any kind of scene and turn your attention towards the front of the room.

Fifty-three minutes later, when the professor has struck her signature end-of-class pose of shutting her folder of notes and settling both hands on the table in the front of the room, the room erupts into a symphony of languages. Yours included, as you bid your compatriot goodbye. You about close up your notebook when Seungkwan pauses his conversation to remind you that you’d asked to revise together.

“I’ll meet you at the chairs in the hall?” The word lounge occurs to you to use, but you aren’t certain if it counts if the comfy furniture and low-set tables aren’t technically in a separate room of themselves. He nods and then slips back into Korean with his friends. You take it as your cue to finish gathering your things.

It’s cooler in the hallway. You’ll never understand why the university seems to think the classrooms can only either be uncomfortably warm or overly air-conditioned. You arrange yourself with your notebook and the course’s main textbook, already searching for extra answers in the chapter you’d only half-read the night before.

You hear Seungkwan and his friends leaving the classroom before you look up to see them. They’re laughing and (you assume) saying their goodbyes as he breaks off from the group to join you.

The two of you spend about twenty minutes going over notes and textbook chapters and doing google searches in your respective languages just to double check. At the tail end of this, Seungkwan is making notes in Hangul in the margins of his notebook while you’re busy flipping through the syllabus.

“Oh, I’m so glad the homework is just some IPA transcription,” you think out loud.

“Ah -- is it really?” Seungkwan doesn’t sound as relieved as you as he glances over at the paper in your lap. “I hate those assignments.”

“Why? It’s much easier than having to read all that theory and research.” Sure, the international phonetic alphabet had taken some getting used to, and one of the front pages of your notebook was covered in your handwritten practicing at writing the symbols out along with your notes on model words you were confident of in English for each consonant and vowel.

“I worry I don’t know how to say things correctly. Then get it wrong because of that.” He frowns only for a moment before his phone buzzes and distracts him from the conversation at hand.

“I’m happy to help if you ever want to check transcriptions together.” You doubt he’ll ever take you up on the offer. That’s been your experience with most other classroom friendships since you started school here. Friendships had mostly been found in your dorm’s common room and in extracurriculars.

“Thank you,” Seungkwan gives the standard response to such an idea, looking up from his phone with a sincere smile.

When you arrive to the next class session approximately ten minutes early, Seungkwan comes in shortly after and promptly starts asking to compare your homework. You blink with surprise for a moment before you click into action, pulling out your notebook and flipping the page where you’d completed the required transcriptions. In his evident rush to verify his work, you decide it’ll be easiest just to hand over your notes. With other students streaming you, you watch as Seungkwan glances back and forth between your work and his own.

“Ah, wait, why did you write this one with epsilon, but not schwa?” he asks, nearly slamming your notebook back onto your desk and pointing at the neatly-numbered seventh one down on your paper.

“Well… it’d be, like… wunt if you wrote it with a schwa. And it’s went,” you explain simply.

He glances over his shoulder, checking which of his friends have already arrived. “Thanks,” he says, and then he rounds on Joshua, nearly yelling something emphatically to him in Korean that has you feeling guilty even if you can’t understand a single word. An apologetic smile twitches at your lips when Joshua glances in your direction while Seungkwan is pointing at the transcriptions on his paper dramatically. As far as your aware, this is the first time Joshua has ever looked at you intentionally; the first time he’s looked at you for longer than a millisecond and it’s absolutely overwhelming to think that it’s happening because of homework corrections of all things. You divert your gaze before you get the chance to see the smile Joshua sends your way even as he’s being reprimanded.

Two weeks later, midterms are officially right around the corner. You have a study session scheduled in the library exactly fifteen minutes after your phonetics class finishes with a group of students in your semantics course. You spend probably a good part of the second-half of the lecture worrying about whether or not your classmates will able to help you with the questions you still have on the midterm material.

The moment your phonetics professor finishes going over the format of the midterm exam and announces she’s done for the day, you’re hurriedly putting your belongs back in your bag. The moment you’re about to stand up, however, a figure suddenly appears in the space you were about to step into, bocking your quick departure. You look up and find yourself at a total loss for words when Joshua is smiling down at you.

The hand holding the strap of your backpack lowers meekly as you give him a curious look. You close your mouth as soon as you realize you’re practically gaping at him.

“Hey, can I ask you something?”

You nod, feeling as though the gesture must look dumb.

“Seungkwan says you’re really good at IPA and I think I’ll legitimately fail if I just using a schwa every time I can’t figure out a vowel. So, do you think you could help me study up on that?”

This is a joke. You think as much because the universe would never be so kind as to dump a beautiful boy in need right at your feet with a smile as sweet as Joshua’s. “Okay,” you answer despite the paranoid voice chiming in at the back of your mind trying to convince you that this will be a horrible mistake.

“Cool. Would the student lounge on this floor work?”

“I have to go to the library,” you snap back to your reality. “Um, now,” you add as you take a glance at your phone’s screen. Another international student has frantically texted you that he’s gotten to the library early and is already freaking out at the prospect of sustaining small talk with the quick-talking native speakers in your study group.

“Oh,” he sounds disappointed and your wistful heart is devastated at the notion. “Do you have enough time to take my number? We can text to figure out what’ll work.”

You’re in a daze through the whole exchange. Mostly because Joshua’s fingers brushed against your own as took your phone to type in his contact information. It wasn’t what you’d call sparks. More of a numbing sort of static that washed over you in a wave that left your fingers itching to be wound up with his.

“If you don’t text him I will grab your phone and message him on your behalf asking when he’s next available to spend a couple hours making out,” your closest friend scolds you in your shared mother tongue in the dining hall during lunch the next day.

You blush, and find yourself grateful - and not for the first time - that there’s no guarantee those around you can understand what you’re saying.

“I don’t think I can be alone with him. I’ll go out of my mind. My soul will escape out my stupid, open-hanging mouth and he won’t even get the help he wants.”

“There’s no way this guy is that attractive. You need some perspective, I swear.” She stabs a fork into one of the fries on her plate and then points it in your direction as another idea occurs to her. “Getting the chance to help him might help you realize he’s not some flawless being dropped down from the heavens. Nothing messes up my infatuations like hearing a guy say something  completely wrong on a basic facts level.”

“IPA is hard,” you defend, saying only the acronym alone in English.

“And you are really smart for mastering it. Be confident!” she urges. “We’ve also yet to consider that he might be asking for help from you not just for the sake of passing your phonetics midterm.”

Before you can reply you hear your name from over your shoulder. When you turn to look, you nearly drop your fork when you’re greeted with the sight of Joshua.

“Hi,” you switch into English and worry instantly that you might have food in your teeth or unflattering crumbs fallen in your lap.

“Everything go alright with your library thing?”  

“Is that him?” your friend asks, utterly shameless with the confidence that he wouldn’t be able to understand.

“It was alright,” you answer Joshua without acknowledging her.

“Oh, good.” He smiles and you’re certain your mirrored expression will give away the answer to your friend’s ignored question. “Any time to help a guy out with phonetics today?”

“Sure.” The word slips out before you think it through.

“Awesome.” His smile only flourishes. “I’m just grabbing lunch now but I’ll text you when I’m done?”

“Okay. That sounds good.” Truly, you’re astonished that you don’t stammer over your agreement.

Does my dorm work?

It had taken you a good fifteen minutes to answer that text after it first arrived from Joshua. You’d been managing a cohesive, casual conversation about when and where would work best to study up until that.  Once you’d brought yourself back to rational thought, you’d message back that it would be fine.

Which is how you’ve ended up standing outside a dormitory other than your own with a bag full of your phonetics materials and your phone in one hand as you wait nervously for Joshua to come let you into the building. He appears with a bright, appreciative smile and holds the door open for you as you come inside.

“Sorry if my room’s kinda a mess. My roommate and I keep putting off our big clean-it-all day,” he apologizes in advance as he leads you up the stairs to his floor.

His room doesn’t look that bad at all, save a few stray wrappers from snacks and bit of strewn laundry on the side of the room you quickly discover is not Joshua’s. When it’s decided that the most convenient place for you both to sit and work through the phonetic alphabet together is side-by-side on his bed, you’re grateful that the only thing that crosses your mind is how soft his duvet is.

“So… the IPA vowels?” you recall him mentioning being his point of weakness. He chuckles, and you spot a slightly embarrassed tinge to his smile. “Do you want to show me your transcriptions from class?”

Joshua hops up from the bed and brings back his notepad from class. “You’re playing teacher here, so no laughing,” he requests as he hands it over, opened up to a page full of messy IPA with corrections written in anywhere he could find space.

“You’re… obsessed with the schwa,” you conclude after about forty-five seconds of scanning the page.

“Hey! Obsessed is the wrong word,” he suggests, propping one socked foot up on the bed as he leans back on his hands, “I just default to it.”

“It’s usually not a stressed vowel,” you begin with, as you lean down to grab a pen out of your bag. With one hand holding his notebook, you resort to uncapping your pen with your teeth, holding the cap between your lips as you twirl the Bic around in your fingers to slip it onto the backend. Your preoccupation with the task means you miss the way Joshua’s gaze zeros in on your lips at the action; his own press into a thin line as he reminds himself you’re just doing something practical.

“This is an IPA chart for vowels, okay?” you speak idly as you start drawing out the arrangement of front-central-back and closed to open sounds. “And your favorite is right in the middle, mid-central. It seems like you mostly confuse it with other mid-placed vowels. But… um, both front and back placed ones.”

“You’re losing me already,” Joshua confesses with another short laugh at his own expense.

You hum lightly, drawing over a few of the phonetic symbols a second time as you try to think of how to explain it. “I usually think of an example word. One syllable. That way I know what sound for sure goes with each vowel.”

“Like, epsilon is more front than schwa,” you tap lightly at where the symbol is positioned on the chart you’d written out in his notebook. “And it sounds like in ‘bet’.” Joshua’s spine straightens up some as you beginning this explanation. You jot down your example underneath the symbol and underline the e in bet. “Then, more closed and more front is the /e/, which makes the, um… ‘ay’ sound, you know, like…”

“Bait?” he suggests. You nod, smiling encouragingly as you copy the word down, once more underlining the vowel. “Your handwriting’s nice,” he compliments as he leans in slightly to get a better look at everything you’re putting down.

“Nearby,” you carry own without expressing any kind of gratitude. His closer positioning has you feeling a bit more self-conscious. “Is the small capital i. It’s easy, like what’s in the word ‘it’, or ‘miss’, or... ‘kiss’.” He hums in understanding beside you.

“The back ones you mix up with schwa are maybe a little harder.” You tap the back of the pen against the paper; you hope Joshua won’t know it’s a sign of your nerves at his proximity. You’ve been smitten enough so far with just the look of him. You hadn’t anticipated that the smell of him would endear you all the more to him. A stay glance over towards his dresser doesn’t tell you what cologne he wears, but you’re certain he must be wearing something. No one smells this nice all on their own.

“Open-o isn’t too bad. Just, if anything makes the sound like in ‘thought’, it’s this one.” You circle the vowels in the word lightly, the ink barely leaving a mark on the page. “And then there’s the caret, which is sort of… right in the middle of schwa and open-o?” You trace the flipped v shape of the symbol. “It’s the ‘uh’ sound, as in ‘crush’.”

“I think I say it was a schwa,” he muses, watching as you write the word out.

“Crush?” you repeat, finally lifting your head to look at him.

“Crush,” he echoes more firmly. You have to admit his vowel is a bit more relaxed than when you pronounce it, making it sound closer to the schwa sound.

“I don’t know,” you surrender, fearing yourself unable to sustain eye contact without starting to blush. “You’re probably right.” You can practically hear the scolding your friend will give you for not sticking with confidence already. “You’re probably the best at English of the international kids in our class, I mean,” you reason.

“I’m from California,” he corrects you after a beat of awkward silence. You look up at him for a moment just to confirm his sincerity and proceed to shut your eyes with a grimace of embarrassment.

“I’m sorry,” you apologize because it feels like the only thing you can do. “I assumed because…”

“It’s okay,” Joshua cuts in gently, like he wishes this whole thing had not come up in the first place. Another aspect of the situation for you to feel guilty for. “It happens.” You are filled with dread. Just because he’s dealt with this sort of mix up before doesn’t make you feel any better for having added another tally to the instances of it.

Your mind is searching for some kind of segue into leaving, or any kind of excuse to get out of the room.

“They’re pretty close in pronunciation,” Joshua points out instead, pointing to the caret and the schwa on your vowel chart. Guilt still leaves you wordless, so you nod in agreement. “Maybe I should try a couple transcriptions with the tips you’ve given so far?” he changes the subject officially. It’s obvious he wants to move along. At this point abiding that desire seems like the only polite thing to do.

You only spend fifteen minutes more in his room, helping him through a few transcriptions with the vowels he struggles over the most. When you gather your things to leave, he offers to walk you back down to the front door of the building. You accept only because insisting he does otherwise seems like it will make things more awkward.

When your phonetics class rolls around again, you stop in your tracks at the doorway when you see the Seungkwan and Joshua have traded spots. Trying not to make your missed beat too obvious, you push yourself back into motion and slip into your usual seat.

“Hey, how’re you?” asks Joshua, eyes following you as you settle in.

“I’m okay,” you answer as you flip through to a clean page of your notepad. “Tired,” you add for a touch more honesty as you turn your head to look at him. “How are you?”

“Same, pretty much.” He shrugs. “I think I did alright on the transcriptions for today. Thanks again for helping me out with that.” You feel forgiven, or even as though he was never mad.

Throughout the entire lecture, your gaze plays a furtive version of tag with Joshua’s. Every so often you’d let your glances meet for more than a second. And these instances are accompanied with an upwards tick in Joshua’s lips every time, however fleeting the expression was before one of you would redirect your sight to the front of the room or to your notes. It feels as though each flickering glimpse at one another is tugging away at whatever chance at subtlety you ever had.

Next class, when it’s time to take the midterm exam, you sit one sit further over than usual. Putting space between you and Joshua is the only chance you’ll have at passing.

Come Thursday, when all your midterms have been completed, it’s easy to convince you to attend some party being thrown by some friend-of-a-friend in one of the suites in the more modern dormitory. You and your friends made the trek across campus with plastic water bottles filled with cheap whiskey and lemonade.

It isn’t difficult getting into the building. It takes a few moments of pounding on the front door before one of the residents passes by and is kind enough to open it for you. From there, finding the suite hosting the party is as easy as following the sound of heavy bass and loud chatter.

The suites may be bigger than a standard room, but it’s absolutely packed with students eager to let out pent-up stress from midterms. You take a large gulp from your bottle as your friends make their way further into the festivities.

Loud music keeps you from hearing Seungkwan calling your name the first time. He’s impossible to miss once he taps you on the shoulder. “I’ve never seen you out before!” he exclaims the obvious.

“Me neither.” You have to shout from the volume around. “How did your exams go?”

“Ahh,” he throws his head back dramatically before putting it in clear terms, “I’m so glad they are over!” You nod an eager seconding of the sentiment. Unsure what else you can say to him, you take another drink from your bottle instead. “That doesn’t look like water,” Seungkwan comments with a grin.

“Do you want some?” you offer, “It’s lemonade and, ah… Jack Daniel’s?” You only half remember the brand name of the bottle your friend had passed you.

“Sure,” he accepts quickly; it’s likely the answer he would have given regardless of what you told him was inside the clear plastic. You hand it over and watch him grimace as he swallows a sip. “That’s strong,” he tells you as he passes it back.

“Sorry,” you laugh as you bring it back up to your own lips. “Sidenote -- is English easier to speak drunk?”

“Yes!” Seungkwan concurs, smiling so brightly that you can’t help grinning back at him. “Should we be drinking before class?” he asks facetiously.

“Probably not,” you advise through giggles you might not have had if it weren’t for the buzz of alcohol in your system.

You watch with widened eyes as another boy comes all but crashing into Seungkwan, arm looping around his shoulder and saying something energetically in Korean. You’re about to turn to go find your friends again when Seungkwan calls out for you to wait. He says something more to the newcomer which you can’t understand, though you swear you hear the name ‘Joshua’ somewhere in the middle of it. The stranger’s lips quirk into a smirk as he glances over to you.

“My name’s Jeonghan,” he introduces himself at Seungkwan’s behest. You give him your own and find that the handshake the two of you exchange feels oddly formal in this setting. “Let’s go find Shua!” he proposes immediately after, handshake turning into him leading you through the crowd unexpectedly. Seungkwan yells something at him in his first language as he tails after the two of you.

Joshua, as it turns out, is sitting playing some card game you don’t recognize in one of the bedrooms with a handful of others. He looks up from his hand with evident surprise as you three of you burst in. You find yourself caught in the middle of a conversation you have no chance to following as the three boys carry on in Korean. Jeonghan releases your hand around the same time that Seungkwan leans into your shoulder in a gesture that seems like it’s solely so he can keep his tipsy self upright.

“Sorry,” Joshua tells you just as you’re beginning to feel truly lost and a little bit paranoid about what they’re discussing. He stands up from the game in order to speak to you directly. “Jeonghan is ---”

“I’m what?” Jeonghan doesn’t let him finish, slinging an arm around Joshua much as he’d done to Seungkwan not long ago.

“It’s okay,” you intervene, utterly uncertain what’s going on but hoping nevertheless that you can take this chance to switch the conversation into English. “It’s nice to see you.”

“You too.” Joshua smiles softly, and the expression shifts as soon as he glances to Seungkwan. It makes you feel like that fleeting look had been exclusively for you; that is was something quiet and meant to be kept between the two of you.

“How do you think the phonetics midterm went?” you ask, twisting the cap of your bottle back and forth idly.

“I have no idea! But could you believe one of the transcription exercises on it actually had the word ‘crush’ in it? I nearly gave up then and there,” he remarks. Up until that moment, you had forgotten about that particular part of the test. Though you had shared a similar feeling in the moment.

“How did you end up transcribing it?”

“With a caret, like you said.”

You burst with laughter and cover your eyes for a moment your free hand. “I used a schwa because of you!” you admit, shaking your head in disbelief.

“I guess we’ll find out which one’s right in the next week or so,” he laughs along with you.

You turn when you hear your name being called and send a quick wave in the boys’ direction before heading back out into the suite’s common room, where two of your friends are waiting with curious looks on their faces.

You don’t see Joshua for the rest of the night. Or rather, you don’t see Joshua again until hours later, when the bottle has long been emptied and you’ve started sobering up. You’ve switched your heels for the cloth flats you’d smartly thrown into your purse before leaving for the night and failed in convincing your friends who haven’t already left with somebody that it’s time to go.

You send a brief text that you’re leaving to the group chat to prevent any confusion before you begin your way down the staircase. It’s in the landing between floors three and four that you see Joshua again. He’s chatting with other students you don’t know, and you plan on slipping by without saying anything to him. In part because you know your hair and makeup must both be mussed up from the dancing you’d spent most the party doing.

You’re two steps down the next set of steps after passing by the group when his voice calls your name and draws you to a halt. With one hand holding the straps of your heels and the other one the handrail, you turn to face him. “Are you heading home alone?” he asks; there’s a different kind of concern in his tone than the one you’d heard from your friends.

“Yeah, it’s… less fun in there without being drunk.” The thought sounds worse out loud than it did in your head. But it makes Joshua laugh and sends you another one of those small smiles that you’ve officially decided are not good for your health with the way they make your heart flutter.

“Do you want someone to walk you?”

You don’t feel compelled to have someone go with you. You feel confident enough in the way home and lack fear in crossing campus alone at this hour from the number of times you’ve done it before. So, do you want someone to walk you? No. But do you want Joshua to go with you?

“That would be nice,” you say, smile growing in spite of yourself.

“Give me one minute to grab my stuff?” he requests. You nod. The moment he disappears, you lean back against the wall of the stairs as it dawns on you that you’ll be spending a good ten-minute walk alone with Joshua. The two of you hadn’t spent time alone since the study-session-turned-disaster.

True to his word, Joshua is coming back down the stairs before too much time passes. If he’d taken any longer, you think to yourself, you might have fled.

The awkwardness you fear will come never does. He asks you about where you’re from, about what made you want to study in the States. He’s patient when you struggle to find the exact words or syntax that you want. So much so that you’d say it doesn’t even require any patience on his part to sustain a conversation with you. You rally questions back at him and hang off every syllable of his answers.

It’s good that you both know the campus well enough that you can get away with spending most of the walk looking at one another rather than where you’re going.

He doesn’t work up the nerve to take your hand until the two of you are already at your building’s front door. The gesture keeps you from reaching into your purse for your keys. His hand sways back and forth with yours as you turn to face him with directly. “I’m sorry again, about Seungkwan and Jeonghan. They should know how frustrating it is to have people saying things you can’t understand right in front of you.”

“I’m not worried,” you try to prompt a smile back onto his features. “It would be self-centered to assume they were talking about me. I just… happened to be there.”

His head falls forward for a moment, blocking you from seeing most of the repentant look that crosses his face as he thinks of how wrong you are there. But he can’t bring himself to tell you that they were speaking almost exclusively about you.

“It’s a bit rude either way,” he tells you in place of any admissions.

You shrug and fail to find any words as Joshua lifts his eyes yours once again. There’s a shift in the atmosphere. A thin wire has been drawn between the two of you and is waiting simply for the right tug that will make the whole thing snap. You move a centimeter closer, testing just what will break the tension. The fingers laced with yours press a fraction firmer into your skin.

And then the moment is shattered by the door of your dorm digging into your back as it’s opened from the other side.  You’re jostled forward, nearly into Joshua’s chest before you catch your balance. He releases your hand in the same instant.

“Sorry,” the girl leaving the building says casually as she passes the two of you by.

Deciding it’s a sign, you take hold of the door before it can close all the way. When you turn to bid him goodnight, you find he’s taken a step closer to come inside as well. You tell yourself he’s just taking the way home all the way to your own door. It would parallel the way he’d insisted upon walking you to the front door of his dorm before.

You pull your keys out of your purse while the two of you are still going up the stairs to your floor. When you reach your door, Joshua catches you off guard as he brushes a hand against one of the cut-outs of motivational words you and your roommate had put up in honor of midterm season. “This is cute,” he remarks, scanning over the rest of the decorations on your door. You fiddle with the key in your hand and tell him it was your roommate’s idea.

“Is she in?” he asks, turning at the shoulder to face you while his hand still rests against the glossy wood of your door.

“I don’t know,” is the only honest answer you can give. “I know she went out tonight but I’m not sure where.”

“Can I come in if she’s not?” is his next question, and this one you have no idea how to decipher. So you answer nonverbally, with the ambiguous combination of a shrug and a nod at the same time.

At least, you have no clue until Joshua provides a touch of clarification in the form of a soft kiss. Your heels and keys all clatter against the hallway floor as the affection makes you drop everything. He pulls away from you with a chuckle that’s warm against your still-parted lips.

He crouches down and picks the shoes and keys up for you. “Only if it’s okay with you,” he reassures as he hands your keys back out to you.

“It’s okay,” you say quickly, and avert your gaze to unlock your door.

When you flick on the lights, you’re embarrassed by how relieved you are that your roommate isn’t yet home. You give him an okay sign with your fingers and wave him inside.

Joshua closes the door behind him and sets the heels he’d picked up for you down beside the door, careful that they remain upright even once he’s released his hold. You toe off your flats and set your keys down on your desk.

He catches your stare while he’s shrugging off his jacket and sends you a new smile. It isn’t soft and secret like the ones you’d been melting over before. But it sends a spark down your spine all the same. As he comes close, you find yourself immersed once more in the that unnamed, pleasant cologne of his.  

“Still okay?” he checks as his hands find their way to your hips.

“Definitely,” you respond, though your racing heart protests that it might not be okay if you end up bursting from the strange fortune midterm week has brought you this semester.

You only get a momentary glance at the smile your consent brings to his face before his kisses have you closing your eyes and surrendering to feeling.

But the chances for soaking in Joshua’s different smiles are far from over.

For instance, in about twenty minutes he’ll be smirking up at you from between your thighs and asking which IPA symbols you’d use to transcribe the first of moans he draws from your well-kissed lips.

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

OC Tag Game!

Thanks @owen-with-dashes​ for tagging me!

Rules: Share inspiration for your characters’ names and tag some other writers!

FOSTERED

Reeve Aldaine

Actual meaning: steward, bailiff

Does the meaning connect with her character? No, hahhaha

Reeve went through a couple of names, actually (Nell was her original name, changed to Glynne I think? until I settled with Reeve). Don’t really know why I chose it, I think I was just waiting for a name that clicked! Pretty sure I didn’t actually like her name though, just grew on me over time (I like it now!). As for her last name, I chose it based on how it fit with her first name!

Harrison Frost

Actual meaning: son of harry

Does the meaning connect with his character? lol also no loool

Harrison’s name has an interesting history actually (sort of). I came up with his nickname first (Ris) after finding the name Rhys (obviously not pronounced RHIS but), and gathered inspo from there. I wanted to name a character Ris, but never made the connection between the two. I found the name Harrison, thought it was a win, and realized Ris could be a nickname. Hence, Harrison’s uncommon nickname, lol. (This in theory, should’ve been simple but alas.)Though I do prefer his full name now, pretty sure my intention was just to call him Ris throughout the series, but that’s definitely not the case now! And for his last name it’s a tragedy and I wish I could change it lol (nothing wrong with the name just think there could’ve been a better fit). 

Foster Creed

Actual meaning: Of the woods, forest

Does the meaning connect with his character? It’s his actual aesthetic tho smol forest nymph boi (not purposeful but it works)

Ha, Foster’s name has an interesting backstory too! I initially named him Foster because I just liked the name, but his name literally created the main plot. I realized Foster isn’t a *super* common name, and wanted to explain it, and 13-year-old me thought it was a great idea to say his name rep’d his experience in foster homes (and was a nickname). That basically helped me create the base plot of the foster homes, so while his name didn’t come from anything special, it did drive the plot (but no the books aren’t named after him tbh harrison is more important than him oops). Also his real name is August as in August Rush and I have no regrets. (again with the last name thing, nothing wrong with it, I just ehh.)

here’s the explanation of his name in book one ft. some very old horrible writing but he info dumps his whole life story:

“Foster, huh?” I ask, curious.

“Yeah.” He replies, shaking his head with a laugh.

“What’s the story behind it?” He sighs, as if he’s told this story one too many times.

“Ever since I was a kid, I had no clue what my name was. You see, I was put into those foster homes, well I don’t know for what reason, but anyway my parents never said anything about me, not my name, or my age, not anything. I wasn’t the greatest kid around, always making trouble, so they kept switching the foster homes I was in. Once when I was in a home with three other boys, Ris befriended me and started calling me Foster when I told him I’d switched homes seventeen times.” I blink back at him, shock overcoming me.        

*shock overcoming me*

(also the lies in what Foster says yo he’s a cinnamon roll boi u ain’t no suave boi)

Lonan Clark

Actual meaning: blackbird

Does the meaning connect with his character? yuppers cuz he flies away from all his problems

(this also leads to beautiful fanart such as:)

All by the amaaaaaazing @sarahkelsiwrites​ :) (so good!)

Lonan’s first name doesn't have much of a story, just found the name through Magic Baby Names I think, and rolled with it (magic baby names is blessed). His last name on the other hand was created because I was driving to New York, had no internet, needed a last name ASAP, saw a street sign, and the rest is history. Though I am thrilled that his name means blackbird, lol the beatles boi in me was like queeeeen yeesssss.

Darren Peterson

Actual meaning: great

Does the meaning connect with his character? So much yes very many yes

Pretty sure his name was going to be Dennis, lol. I think I was making his brother a character profile, and was using @sarahkelsiwrites​’ profile of her character Delilah for formatting inspo, saw the name Darren somewhere in there, stole it, and here we areeee. Also stole the last name Peterson from her, ooooops. 

Lincoln Mayhew

Actual meaning: From the settlement by the pool.

Does the meaning connect with his character? Sounds just about as pretentious as him. 

I’m pretty sure I took his name from a list, not that interesting, but tis my space to say yuppers Lincoln and Lonan are basically the same name oops I know. (I get really attached to things easily hence why I didn’t change it lol ooooops.)

Christiane “Double” Aldaine

Actual meaning: Follower of Christ

Does the meaning connect with her character? Not really heh

I decided to explain this one because it’s kind of weird, lol. Christiane “Double” Aldaine is Reeve’s younger sister, and the name backstory is *so* ?? I just ? Basically, Reeve has an older sister named Christiane too who died, so her mom named her youngest daughter after her, so Reeve (who isn’t a fan) and also to differentiate between the two, nicknames her sister Double (because she’s a double of the original name). Double is also known as ‘Chris’ in the spinoff, because she obviously doesn't know her sister calls her this. So many naaames. oof.

I’M DISAPPOINTED

Clifford Wright

Actual meaning: ford by a cliff

Does the meaning connect with his character? No, but Sarah calls him ford by a cliff a lot lol

It took me a bit to find Clifford’s name, but when I found it, typed out CLIFFORD in all caps in my document, lol. His last name didn’t stem from anything but has led to many jokes like this:

“My name’s Clifford Wright.” I start hesitantly, reading off the words Julian wrote about me with pure caution. “Which is stupid, because I know everyone thinks I’m Clifford Wrong. You know why? Because I never do anything that makes sense.”

im deceased.

“pure caution”

Ben “Benjamin” Wright and Gracelyn “Grace” Wright

Actual meaning (Ben): Son of my right hand

Does the meaning connect with his character? Ben is always your right hand man stillllll

Actual meaning (Grace): Goodness and generosity.

Does the meaning connect with her character? Grace is more like the opposite of goodness and generosity

Grouping Ben and Grace together because they share the same backstory. In 2015, I was driving back down from New York and really needed names. I found Gracelyn in my name list doc, and came up with Ben on the spot (the creativityyy)

So this was fun! Thanks again @owen-with-dashes​ for tagging me! I’m going to tag @sssoto​, @sarahkelsiwrites​, @shaelinwrites​, and @alliewritesbooks​ to do this!

--Rachel

[sampagnereads]

twenty-seventeen was a great reading year for me. as far as i can remember, it’s the year within which i read, not only the most books, but also the most books i thoroughly enjoyed. through the year, my reading was pretty consistent, except for the month of november, when i read... zero books. anyhow, i read a lot of great books this year, so i thought i’d do a lil top 17! hope you folks enjoy this, and that you’ll find some book recommendations through this list! below the cut, you can find my top 17 books of 2017!

17. just kids, by patti smith.

just kids is patti smith’s memoir, but also her first book of prose. it talks about patti smith’s relationship with robert mapplethorpe, and explores new york city and the chelsea hotel within the late sixties and seventies.

this book is the first book i read in 2017, and i feel like it was the perfect way to start the year. not only was patti smith’s writing gorgeous, but this book also made me feel things that i’m not used to feeling. it motivated me to read and write again and, without it, i doubt i would have had such a good reading year.

16. wild beauty, by anna-marie mclemore.

wild beauty is a tale of magical realism about the nomeovildes women, who have the ability to grow flowers from the earth, as they tend the gardens of la pradera. the problem? they can’t leave the gardens, and whenever they fall in love with someone, said person ends up disappearing. then, one day, a strange boy suddenly appears in the gardens.

going into this book, i had extremely high expectations, and you’ll understand why as you finish reading this list. still, though i didn’t enjoy this book as much as the other book i read from anna-marie mclemore, i thoroughly enjoyed it. it was purely magical and whimsical and wonderful. honestly, i’d willingly read a grocery list if anna-marie mclemore wrote it. because her writing? wow.

15. little and lion, by brandy colbert. 

little and lion tells the story of suzette, a black, jewish, bisexual girl, as she comes home from boarding school, where she was sent after her brother was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. this book doesn’t shy away from showing things such as racism, micro-agressions, mental health problems and discovering one’s sexuality. 

i’m not usually the biggest contemporary fan, but this book simply blew me away. i completely adored the writing style, and fell in love with suzette as early as the first chapter. i also loved loved loved the fact that this book showed that real family doesn’t mean biological family, and that though suzette’s father and brother were technically her stepfather and stepbrother, they were as much family to her as her biological mother was. this book was beautiful, and i can’t recommend it enough. 

14. the handmaid’s tale, by margaret atwood. 

this book is a hard one to explain, but i’ll do my best any way. the handmaid’s tale is set in a much too realistic dystopian world in which people have very specific roles, especially women. in the story, we follow a woman whose main role is to give a rich couple a baby.

i had heard a lot about margaret atwood in the past, especially being a canadian, but i never thought i’d enjoy her writing as much as i did. whilst this wasn’t an easy read, it was an important one, and felt a little too realistic to my taste. it might be a dystopian novel, but it also has a very strong feminist message that is quite important, especially considering the state of the world right now. really, i 100% recommend reading this book.

13. the secret history, by donna tartt. 

another one that’s hard to explain without giving too much away. basically, this book is about a group of classics students who get a bit too wild and have to deal with the consequences.

i’m going to be honest here: i expected to adore this book, but i ended up only loving it. i think my expectations might have been too high for it, and i ended up being a bit disappointed. still, i thoroughly enjoyed it, even though i wasn’t the biggest fan of the protagonist. the writing’s gorgeous, and the characters are simply fascinating.

12. vicious, by v. e. schwab. 

vicious tells the story of two men at two different points in their lives. the first one, when they’re in university and working on a thesis about how to gain superpowers. the second one, ten years later when one of them gets out of jail to go after the other one. 

i read the shades of magic series by v. e. schwab earlier this year, and though i loved it, i wasn’t as impressed as some people were. therefore, i didn’t have the highest expectations going into vicious. and oh boy, was i wrong. thing is, i adored this book. i love stories about heroes and villains, especially when powers are involved, which is exactly what this book is about. the exploration of good vs evil is simply fascinating within this novel, and i absolutely can’t wait to read its sequel.

11. three dark crowns & one dark throne, by kendare blake. 

i know i’m kind of cheating by putting in two books, but they’re in the same series, so it’s okay. i won’t summarize the second book to avoid spoiling anything, but here’s the summary of the first one: on a matriarchal island where magic exists, every queen gives birth to triplets, and is then sent away. those triplets are raised on different parts of the island, with different abilities, and are expected to fight each other to the death when they turn sixteen to determine who will become the next queen.

i had heard not so good things about three dark crowns, and was therefore hesitant to go into it, but i’m oh so glad that i gave it a shot. i loved how slow-paced and character driven the first book was, and though the second book was a little more action-packed, i liked it just as much. i loved all the characters and how different they were, and the politics system within the island simply fascinated me. i honestly can’t wait for the next book in this series, and i recommend it to everyone who likes character-driven fantasy.

10. illuminae & gemina, by amie kaufman & jay kristoff. 

the illuminae files is a series of science-fiction books set in space, where a big corporation went against a small planet. it’s told in a mixed-media format filled with files, ims and emails, and follows different characters in each book.

to be fair, illuminae was mainly a cover buy for me, and i’m oh so glad the cover drew me in because wow. i couldn’t put these books down when i picked them up, and i thoroughly fell in love with the characters and the story. it took me a little while to get into the original format, but once i did, i thoroughly enjoyed it. if you like science-fiction, i definitely recommend you read those books. 

09. more than this, by patrick ness.

more than this tells the story of a boy who dies, and then wakes up naked in the abandoned town he spent his first few years in. i can’t tell you more without spoiling anything, and i recommend going into this book with as little information as possible. 

this was my first patrick ness book, and though i haven’t picked up anything else by him ever since, it’s a necessity that i do so sometime soon. i went into this book not expecting anything, and it blew my mind. though it could have been boring due to the story, it was thoroughly interesting, and i never saw any of the plot twists coming. it was one of the first books i read in 2017, and i’m very very glad i read it.

08. we are the ants, by shaun david hutchinson.

we are the ants tells the story of a teenage boy who has it pretty tough. his boyfriend killed himself the year before, he has a difficulty family life, and he keeps on getting abducted by aliens. then, these aliens give him the option of either saving the earth or letting it die, and we follow him as he makes that decision and then deals with it.

this book. this book! it made me laugh, it made me cry, it made me feel. i read it in two sittings, which almost never happens to me, and i’ll most probably re-read it eventually, which i also almost never do. though it’s far more contemporary than it is sci-fi, the sci-fi twist makes it stand out from other contemporaries, and i can’t recommend it enough. 

07. graceling realm, by kristin cashore.

graceling, the first book in the graceling realm, is set in a world where people with different coloured eyes have special abilities, and we follow a teenage girl with the ability to kill. the next two books are companion novels that follow different characters.

i picked this book up because it’s one of the few books my library owns in english. i didn’t pick it up expecting to dislike it, but i had very low expectations. good thing i was very very wrong. i devoured the first book, and absolutely couldn’t wait to get my hands on the next two. these stories got me back into high fantasy, and i’ll never stop being thankful for that.

06. saga volumes 1 to 7, by brian k vaughan & fiona staples. 

saga is a graphic novel series that follows two people from opposing sides of a war who fall in love and have a baby, and are then pursued by assassins as they weren’t supposed to do so.

this was so hyped on booktube that i believed it’d never meet my expectations. once again, i was wrong. i completely fell in love with this story and its characters as soon as i started reading the first volume in the series, and i then got my hands on the other ones because i simply couldn’t wait to find out what would happen. i simply adore these graphic novels, and i can’t recommend them enough.

05. crazy rich asians & china rich girlfriend, by kevin kwan. 

crazy rich asians follows rachel chu, a chinese-american economics professor, as she agrees to go on a summer long trip to singapore with her boyfriend, both to attend his best friend’s wedding and to meet his family. problem is, rachel has no clue that her boyfriend’s family is one of the richest ones in singapore, and that some of them definitely don’t approve of her.

i read crazy rich asians at the beach, and honestly? it was the perfect summer, beach-y read. these books read like amazing romcoms, and i devoured them like candy. seriously, they’re like candy. the characters are so fun to read about, and though their problems may seem silly at first, they’re still quite deep. 

04. before the devil breaks you, by libba bray.

before the devil breaks you is the third book in the diviners series, a book series about ghosts, murderers, and teens who have special abilities in 1920s new york city.

the social commentary in this book? amazing. the diversity? amazing. the story? amazing. the characters? amazing. everything about this book? amazing. libba bray is my favourite author, so i knew i’d love this book, but that didn’t stop me from being blown away by it. i laughed, i cried, and i never wanted it to end. this might be my favourite libba bray book yet, and that’s saying a lot since i’ve adored all that she’s written.

03. language of thorns, by leigh bardugo. 

language of thorns is a collection of illustrated, dark fairy tales from the grisha verse.

let’s be fair; this is leigh bardugo, so i knew i’d love it. however, i didn’t expect to love it even half as much as i did. once i picked this book up, i didn’t want to put it back down again. i love fairy tales, and this book definitely didn’t disappoint. even if you haven’t read anything else by leigh bardugo, i recommend reading this book, as i personally believe that it’s her best work yet.

02. homegoing, by yaa gyasi. 

homegoing follows the story of two sisters in ghana, one who’s sold into the slave trade, and the other one who marries a white man who works on the slave trade. we follow them at first, and then we follow their descendants, both in ghana and the united states. it explores the repercussions of slavery and racism.

this book wasn’t an easy read, but it was an important one. it was extremely well written, and thoroughly beautiful. i honestly don’t know what else to say, except that everyone and their mother needs to read this book because wow. just wow.

01. when the moon was ours, by anna-marie mclemore. 

when the moon was ours is a magical realism story about miel, a girl who grows roses out of her wrist, and sam, a boy who hangs up moons around town. there are also three sisters who people believe to be witches, a pumpkin patch where the pumpkins are turning into glass, and a glass coffin.

this was my favourite book of the year, and so far, my favourite book of all time. anna-marie mclemore’s writing is lush, beautiful and descriptive, and i can’t have enough of it. on top of that, the characters were loveable, and the plot was original. i just... i loved this book with all my heart, and i need everyone in the world to read it.

[archive-03012022]

great comet 8/24/17 (matinee with dave malloy + blaine krauss u/s anatole)

ok so this is more for me to remember than for anyone else but here’s a song-by-song breakdown of great comet from when i saw it lol (lots about technical stuff)

i was in the top row of banquettes which is honestly the best place to sit in the entire theatre. we could see every part of the theatre (balcony and mezz included) without having to spin our heads around like owls and there was a+++ audience interaction (i’ll get to that later)

pre-show

ok so everyone literally burst out of the entrances randomly without any warning and just started talking to everyone it was great

a man with a sparkly mustache made sure we were all ok with strobe lights and if not to just deal with it and cover our eyes

i got a pierogi box thrown at my face. fun times.

theres an announcer guy that starts speaking in russian and english before just switching over to english

announcer: cameras? ensemble: NEIT!

my grandmother got super into this format and started shouting along #quality family bonding

prologue

dave malloy is a god end of story

but seriously the prologue is such a jam 

before the song actually starts theres a super sad scene of natasha saying goodbye to andrey and she hands him his coat and letters and he gives her the locket (she has a hearbreaking “no!” as he starts leaving)

the lights go from basically pitch black to full blast at the line “anD THIS IS ALL IN YOUR PROGRAM”

denee benton is so beautiful

the ensemble was roaming around everywhere and came over to where we were a LOT

bolkonsky made his entrance right next to us after his costume change right before the minor characters line by screaming and jumping through a curtain with his guitar 

the whole ensemble gathers on the platform by the doors for the beginning of pierre

pierre

dave malloy is a god end of story

while they’re all gathered watching pierre for the first bit of pierre, sonya is rubbing natasha’s back, reassuring and soothing her

i love the ensemble,,,,,, so much,,,,,,,,

helene conducts all the women dancing during “he is charming he has no sex”

the “good russian men” part singled out azudi and he looked so offended at pierre lol

all of the “ahhhh”s were magical

theres not much that hasn’t already been said about this song tbh?

oh and right after it’s over all the ensemble members drop out of their poses and deadpan, walking to the exits with bored expressions like “alright shows over, bye guys, our job is done”

moscow

marya? hates sonya so much?

but when they’re introducing each other natasha is super prim and proper and sonya does this awkward, lopsided bow with her little hand puff half hanging off brittain is such a dork im love her

natasha’s humming is so childish/naive i love it

“you’ll read to me while i K N I T”

marya casually roasting the audience? iconic

marya’s whole speech to natasha is honestly just great

mary walks between marya and natasha when she’s mentioned

private and intimate life of the house

he

draws

out

every

single

word

“people enjoy me though” got a really good laugh

gelsey bell? the godsent angel? yes, Her

B R I N G M E M Y S L I P P E R S (he finally started screaming it again)

��natasha is young and worthless and dumb” natasha literally looks so offended its great

mary picks a “suitor” from the audience and he was so confused

BOLKONSKY KISSED HIS “CHEAP FRENCH THING” ON THE LIPS FOR SUCH A LONG TIME AND HER DAUGHTER WAS LITERALLY DYING BEHIND HER

paul pinto’s servant character. that’s all.

marya plays the cowbell during the “where are my glasses” breakdown and generally looks disappointed in him the whole time 

natasha and bolkonskys

there was a 12 year old boy who had no clue what was happening and kept getting in the way of them putting the stools down it was great

all of bolkonsky’s interjections are met with a really quick spot on him and idk it was just super funny to me (he also did this really weird/hilarious lip trill at the end of “i do not wish to see herrrrrRRRRR”

denee and gelseys harmonies 

mary and natasha’s fake laughter

“says the mean old man in his underthings”

HOLY SHIT GUYS WAIT

WHEN MARY SAYS “AND HE LOOKED AT HER ONCE / HEAD TO TOE” BOLKONSKY MUTTERED “NOT IN MY HOUSE” AND I DIED

bolkonsky exits past marya who, once again, just sort of glared at him

no one else

the blue light change??

all of the light bulbs slowly start coming down and fading on to look like stars its gorgeous

at the “we were angels once, don’t you remember?” she said it right to this teenage girl at a table who literally grinned and turned away to be like “holy shit that just happened” it was really sweet

natasha is so innocent throughout the whole song its honestly so beautiful

andrey is shown in a blue spotlight with snow falling around him and he unwinds the red ribbon from her letters (and wraps it around his wrist like a bracelet for safe keeping) and starts reading them 

when he leaves and runs into the darkness natasha steps into his spot under the snow and starts singing the “you and i”s after him

the opera

marya is such a godmother is so cute

sonya’s narration is gorgrous and i’ll never get over it

ensemble members twirl mirrors around natasha at the beginning

this song makes me think about how important it is for natasha to have people like her which makes the ending even more sad :(

helene’s entrance is honestly so her idek how else to explain it

pierre’s fist pump when he says “though i’m enjoying myself at home :D”

marya is super obvious about mentioning pierre to helene since she’s with dolokov

the curtain “rising” is shown by the lightbulbs going back into the ceiling

the opera is such a good satire

GELSEY’S GOT SOME PIPES

when the dancers are “dying” they’re making this really funny, drawn out sighing noises and its amazing

denee’s face was hilarious after the dance seen she was just like :o

anatoles entrance is so extra

with every little *bum* *bum* he moved his head in a different direction and the lights flashed

helene and anatole have this creepy little moment where they’re standing under a light bulb and anatole taps his cheek for her to kiss but turns his head so she kisses him on the lips and right as their lips touch the lightbulb goes out

the opera singers continue miming in the doorways of the balcony and it was really cool to see

the ensemble was in costumes on the stairs acting out the opera as well

not only was anatole constantly looking at natasha, so was helene,,,,,,,,,

natasha hallucinates andrey’s dead body being torn apart, holding out the ribbon that held her letters together towards her

natasha and anatole

anatole checks himself out in the mirror before entering the box (blaine was really funny in purposefully pulling down a single curl over his forhead for ~fashion~)

i feel like he sings deeper than anatole but its wayyyy smoother like damn

when he’s asking natasha to the costume tournament her little “oh (:? oh,,,, i (:” when shes feigning modesty gives me life

blaines voice holy s h i t

when he grabs her from behind its really sensual and denee moaned really loudly and i

have i mentioned i love blaine’s voice

when anatole steals her flower natasha looks so scandalized

at one point he smells it and seems so in love

helene is watching the whole thing go down (basically the whole time the two of them are “alone” together she’s watching them)

after chasing each other around the stage a bunch them sitting down next to each other was treated as a Big Moment

the duel

in between songs anatole walks to pierre’s study fist bumping and grabbing at his head like “YES! YES YES!”

at “oh dear andrey’s betrothed?” anatole did like this little so-so hand gesture that was hilarious

the strobe lighting was way more intense than i expected

i watched grace mclean grind on a riding crop and then put it between her teeth it was great

lowkey threesome up in the mezz/balcony

and the girls were essentially using the railings as stripper poles

during “just as a duck is made to swim in water, god has made me as i am” anatole moonwalks, does the chicken dance, and gets grinded on by two girls

there was just A Lot during the duel

but i was too focused on celia mae’s glow in the dark thong to notice most of it

“here’s to health of married women.... and their lovers ;D”

oh i just remembered there was girl passed out drunk over someone’s box and all the people sitting in it were howling with laughter

helene’s voice is cracking when she says “he will kill you stupid husband” and might i say,,,,,,,,,, character depth

paul pinto’s announcer voice for duel

helene screams when the gun is shot

when pierre holds out his arms to be shot but starts looking around in confusion omg

idk but i love “we live to love another day”

dust and ashes

dave’s version is honestly so gut-wrenching

i never noticed in the recording but the strings on this song are honestly so beautiful??

he acts the hell out of this song and its just so :(

during the “we are asleep until we fall in love” the ensemble lines up in the orch aisles and in front of the mezz all backlit and its just so haunting 

as their “ah”s get more and more intense the lights don’t change at all and it just seems very church choir-y

sunday morning

sonya and natasha seem like they’re sneaking around in the beginning and its really cute

“everyone sees a man” is delivered so well, like she’s trying to reassure her 

the whole time natasha is staring into the mirror pierre is standing right behind her looking at her through the mirror

marya still hates sonya

charming

helene enters through the double doors with her face covered by her cloak and its sort of a mystery who it is until she starts singing

natasha seems embarrassed at first (since shes basically in her underwear) but then starts fixing her garters and stuff almost like she’s trying to impress her

amber gray holy shit

since natasha is still in just her corset and garters helene gives her her cloak 

“he was thinking about you, kept sighing about you” natasha literally lights up and puts her hand over her mouth and walks away like a middle schooler lol

when natasha gets her dress on first she runs around and twirls but then starts imitating helene but its still really childish

helene yanks andrey’s necklace off of natasha before giving her her own and keeping it for herself

in summary this song is Not Straight Whatsoever

the ball

all of the couples enter from the doors doing this weird little movement before going down the stairs 

two girls danced in front of us together (edit: it was gelsey and katrina i only just remembered) and it made my day 

all of the dancers (all through out the theatre, all the way into the balcony) are doing the same movements as anatole and natasha but since they’re in dark greens/black and anatole and natasha are in white it’s easy to not get distracting

blaine as anatole,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, yeah

the “i love another” seems a bit forced on natasha’s side like she’s just saying it out of habit rather than for real

helene is still watching them

the kiss

lasts

a

long

time

BUT

when you look away you see that everyone has wine glasses and are putting their fingers around the rim to make the little noise

helene has a lightbulb over her and a spot. she’s the last one to stop.

the way natasha’s little part after the kiss goes it makes her look like she’s going to choose andrey because she’s singing to the orchestra but turns to anatole to sing the “i will love youuuu” part

the ensemble is lined up on the staircase, “ahhh”ing and holding their glasses up to toast them

anatole and natasha run through the doors together

letters

the whole cast comes in through the double doors

my grandmother screamed “HEY HANDSOME” when blaine passed by wlfkjvbvjnrev

most of the cast had stuck their letters to audience members into their bras/shirts

andrey stands on the platform in front of the doors (the same place he enters pierre and andrey) and pierre speaks directly to him for his letter

at “it is NAPOLEON” the portrait of napoleon on the wall (which was right above my seat lol) lights up and pierre starts pointing the gun at him

anatole and andrey stand on walkways next to each other when natasha is writing her letter

pierre, natasha, and mary all stand in a circle around the study singing at each other and it looks really cool

ok so anatole’s love letter..............

dolokov was holding the letter

they actually made the woman passing the letter walk up on stage to pass it to natasha

blaines “just says yes”s were suuuuuuuuuuper stretched out but he was pressing his face in her chest, stomach, thighs and trailing his hand up her whole body and it was uhhhhhh way more sensual than how lucas steele plays anatole

sonya and natasha

sonya steals the letter from natasha while shes’s sleeping

their argument is honestly everything

“its seems to me i’ve loved him a hundred years............ :)” sonya is just like “what the fuck natalie”

“would you think so badly of me??” brings me back to how much natasha just wants to be loved and cared for 

sonya and natasha yelling at each other is so heartbreaking

her letter to mary is all very final

sonya alone

the whole theatre is dark and theres a single lightbulb and spot on sonya as she sings

natasha makes her way up the stairs to the mezzanine (PASSES ANDREY WHO’S SITTING THERE WATCHING HER)

and wanders all the way across the mezz and back down the stairs on the other side

the whole time, sonya never takes her eyes off of her

i think we need to appreciate that in the realm of musical theatre, there are no other songs about just loving your friend? and wanting to help them?

“i know you’ve forgotten  me” natasha is back in front of the stage left stairs, but a light bulb lights up over her and she stops, looking at sonya

“it’s all on me” kills me she’s so selfless shes sacrificing her friendship with her best friend just to save her and just kjvn;efvaer

preparations

pierre literally doesnt care about what anatole’s doing 

theres a spot on sonya and natasha when they are mentioned

helene brings dolokov the tea

anatole shaves in front of a mirror

there was still shaving cream left on his face and dolokov had to wipe it off his face while they were arguing lol

the two of them were arguing really aggressively it was intense

i think helene was playing the drum during this whole part

balaga/the abduction

paul pinto deserved a tony

my grandmother stole egg shakers from the row in front of us

balaga runs up into the mezz and starts wreaking havoc it’s great

the musicians were all running all over the place saying hi to audience members and generally being great

anatole’s “woooooooooooo” and cape spin was a sight to behold tbh

blaine did a little “mm” noise when everyone went quiet after the big "WOOOOOOOOAHHHHHHHH”

his “gooooooooooooodbye” was so stretched out that the ensemble started swaying really slowly but then had to go the other way before starting again it was really funny

during the goodbye my gypsy lovers part marya slid on the end of the banquette seats i was in and i was freaking out so she blew me a fucking kiss and ran away

everyone dancing in a circle around the study

there was a little accordion-off 

alex gibson came over and was like “WATCH ME! WATCH ME OVER HERE!” and had a dance off with a guy all the way up in the balcony

there were people dancing allllllllll over these platforms through out the theatre there was never a dull moment

alex gibson also started humping a drum next to us and banging it while he moaned

he was so into it that he didn’t realize he was blocking lauren zakrin from chucking pages of war and peace everywhere (which i caught out of the air which is pretty neat)

one of katrina’s braids was coming loose so she started helicopter-ing them in our faces

i saw helene and marya make out and it was great

all of it was so completely organized chaos that was so incredible watch i love rachel chavkin with all my heart

when anatole sat down on the banquette next to the girl he made her kiss him on the cheek and did the “stretching” to put an arm around her thing it was hilarious

the girl leaned her head on him and they just chilled out (they actually looked like a real couple tbh) for an awkwardly long time before they all ran up the stairs

marya’s entrance is just as incredible as you would imagine

anatole did like a little smile like “uhh, hi” and then sprinted down the stairs away 

in my house

grace mclean deserved a nomination for best featured. seriously.

the maid servant tries to apologize to marya but she just points her back inside the doors

ok so grace kept it all super calm and contained until she exploded on natasha

she honestly plays this scene so well she’s ocnstantly jumping between concern, disappointment, and pure, unfiltered rage

natasha screaming is terrifying

when natasha “falls to the sofa” (she’s stand completely upright with her arms crossed) marya softens and becomes very calm again but when sonya tries to go to her she snaps again

natasha? still? thinks? anatoles? coming? :(

a call to pierre

the letter is followed by the light bulbs and lights under the mezz as it makes its way across the stage

paul pinto is the best

he stretches out the announcement

so

much

“........................................w h a t”

grace and dave have such good chemistry

the ensemble’s vocals make this scene so much more tense

“natasha and A N A T O L E  K U R A G I N”

marya’s whole demeanor changes when she hears that he’s married

find anatole

pierre literally walks down to the study, back up, puts on a coat and is already wheezing its actually pretty funny

“the club” is just the ensemble along the stairs and mezz dimly lit and gathered in small groups pantomiming its really realistic

“he cant BE MARRIED!” is said in complete disbelief and heartbreak

helene sits with anatole’s head on her lap

on his way to the study anatole passes sonya who glares at him

and if looks could kill

pierre and anatole

blaine plays off anatole as faking his confidence from the very start of the scene thinking pierre will just let him off

pierre literally pins him down and almost bashes his head in with a paperweight

OH WAIT I JUST REMEMBERED

helen is watching the whole thing from the stage right staircase (she was right in front of me) as if she’s eavesdropping from the hallway or something

she flinches when pierre stars grabbing at anatole and reaches her hand out to help when he’s about to hurt him

the letters look almost exactly like the ones natasha gave to andrey #parallels

anatole sits at someone’s table pouting and covering his ears like a child throwing a tantrum

“amuse yourself with women like my wife” helene actually seemed a little surprised at pierre actually knowing about their relationship

it hit me during the show that the only reason that anatole is upset is because pierre is calling him names which is just so childish considering everything happening

natasha walks between them arguing and pours arsenic into her glass, chugging it and then lets out this guttural scream

she runs up and meets marya and sonya who rush her through a curtained exit

blaine can hit the petersburg note 

natasha very ill

this song is honestly just so haunting

dolokov plays guitar in the double doors

the whole stage is dimly lit and its all very ominous

pierre and andrey

andrey enters through the same doors he left during the prologue and speaks to pierre on the opposite side of the stage before they meet in the middle platform

the “well, how are you?” seems a bit comical and sarcastic

i could write essays about how much “theres a war going on” does for the story at this point

andrey acts like he doesn’t really care about the whole ordeal and like he’s already trying to distance himself from it, almost laughing at himself

“i much regret her illness” is so cold and passive aggressive that it hurts

oh and if this scene didnt hurt enough, mary is watching the entire thing

after “dont every speak of this again” he shoves pierre. hard.

when he leaves, he passes mary who smiles and tries to hug him but he just puts his hand up and walks past her before taking his place in his father’s chair and folds in on himself

natasha and pierre

i’ve been classically conditioned to cry to these piano notes no joke

natasha comes down the stairs really slowly, relying heavily on the railing to help her

pierre tries to help but she brushes him off

she’s in a white, shapeless nightgown (she only wears white through the whole show), is barefoot, and has her hair in a braid and looks like a little girl

when she starts singing its very weak

ALL 👏 SHE 👏 WANTS 👏 IS 👏 LOVE 👏 AND 👏 TO 👏 BE 👏 FORGIVEN 👏

oh and all of the ensemble members since find anatole have taken places all over the theatre and are just. sitting. watching the ending of the show. i noticed mostly courtney basset sitting cross-legged on the walkway in the orchestra

when natasha begins to cry, its not crying. it’s loud, almost primal sobbing

pierre is just so tender towards her and :’)

when pierre tell her that she can talk to him they both look confused

right before the proposal natasha is making her way up the stairs and turns back around when pierre starts talking

dave’s delivery of the proposal is So Good

he choked on the “and for your love”

the mini pierre reprise is heartwrenching

natasha made her way really slowly back up to the doors, but seems hopeful

the great comet of 1812 

ok so

the song is song in complete darkness, theres barely even a spotlight on pierre

veeeeeery slowly individual light bulbs start fading on but you cant see much

then the chandeliers start to slowly light up

but this is all super gradual and doesn’t really become notciable for a few minutes

hearing the ensemble coming in from all sides is gorgeous

then the comet prop above pierre’s study starts lowering (i think around the time its mentioned by name for the first time)

as most of the chandeliers are coming on, a tiny light on the bottom of the comet fades on and starts illuminating the larger comet

now the entire theatre is lit only by the lightbulbs, chandeliers, and the slwoly brightening comet. no table lamps, no stage lights, nothing.

as the final minute or so approaches all of the lights start to dim except for the comet until it’s the only thing remaining lit

and in 100% honesty every single one of the 1200 people in that theatre had their eyes fixed on it for the final moments of the show

then, as the song ends, the lights on the comet fade until only the tiny light on the bottom remains. pierre is collapsed in his chair looking up peacefully and the conductor raises his hands to praise it as it’s dimming until the theatre is in complete darkness

anyway this really wasnt for anyone else to read but if you made it this far? im sorry? this was a complete mess i’m still a wreck from this show