#and you should stop making fucking excuses and pitying yourself and do something about it

[radioactive-cloud]

i'm tipsy and sad and i just want to matter and not to feel like this

[gh0stsp1d3r]

Rafe’s revenge worked

Might make a part 3?

pt 1

Warnings: lying, slight manipulation, mentions of sex

You unlocked the door to the chateau, your heart pounding at the afterthought of what you just did.

You had sex with your brothers enemy.

The 2000 dollars sat heavy in your pocket, you had no clue what type of excuse you would make for having it.

You went to the kitchen, grabbing a glass and filling it with water. You downed the water, and when you turned around John B stood in front of you.

“Where were you?” He asked, leaning against the wall, asking as if he didn’t know the answer.

“Work… it’s Monday.” You said, as if it was obvious.

“What took you so long?”

“I stayed a little longer helping close up. It’s not that serious.” You shrugged, attempting to push past him.

“Don’t bullshit me.” He held his hand out, stopping you from walking away.

“What are you talking about? Are you drunk or something?” You scoffed.

“I know you were with Rafe, and I know you had sex with him.”

Your face dropped and your heart pounded. John B pulled out his phone, opening up the audio and shoving it in your face.

“I- I didn’t! That’s not even me!” You tried to defend yourself.

He then pulled out another picture, of Rafe standing with a giant smile and the apron with your name on it in his hands.

You looked down at your waist, fuck. You must’ve forgotten it.

“John B-“

He scrolled through the messages more, the conversation between the both of them proof.

“I’m sorry, JB, I’m sorry-“ tears started to fall down your face.

He sighed.

“I- I think you should leave for a couple days, y/n.”

“W-what? You’re kicking me out? Over this shit?”

“He- he- he tried to kill me, and my friends! I’m sorry, y/n. Go… pack your stuff and stay with one of your friends. Only for a little. Okay?”

You wordlessly went to your room, grabbing bags and shoving things in there.

“We can talk when you get back. I- I just can’t right now.” He told you as he followed you into your room,

He stuttered your name out when he walked onto the patio behind you, but you didn’t even look at him as you went outside, sobbing and walking. It was dark out, dangerous, and cold. You shivered as you walked through the cut.

“Oh shittt, look what the cat dragged in.” Kelce nudged Rafe. He had shown, and boasted to all his friends about you. Rafe turned his head, looking at your distraught figure.

“No shit.” Rafe scoffed, leaning out his car window and whistling to get your attention from the other side of the road.

You snapped your head over there, your eyes widening. You stormed up to him.

“Oh, shit, someone’s ready for round t-“

You punched him, square in the face. He groaned, and chuckled at it, and before you could do anything else he jumped out the car.

“The fuck was that for?”

“You’re such an asshole! You ruined my fuckin’ life! I got kicked out, and- and now I have to see your stupid fucking face again!” You hit his chest, him just having a smirk on his face the whole time.

“Oh, shit. I’m… sorry. How’d your brother take it?” He asked in faux pity, slowly wrapping his arms around you and looking over to Kelce in the car with a grin.

“He’s pissed!” You sobbed into his chest. “And he’s upset, and he- he-“

“Shh. Shhh. It’s alright. Uh.. if you want, you could hang at mines for a couple of days.”

“No. I’m just gonna-“ you pushed him off of you, realizing who it was again.

“C’mon, it’s cold, you’re literally shivering! I got blankets and shit in the car. You can’t walk all the way there.”

“Rafe, I can’t-“

“Think of it as my apology. Please. I feel.. just so bad. And… I just want you to stay, just for a couple days. Think of it, we’ll have the house to ourselves for days. My dad’s on some trip with my stepmom, Sarah’s hanging out with your brother” he said it with a tinge of bitterness, making you suspicious.

“and my other one is at her friends.”

“Did you-“ you sniffled. “Did you fuck me because your sister got with my brother?” You asked him, catching onto the distaste he had about it.

“What? Course not. What type of crazy shit is that?” He scoffed. Yea, that’s exactly what he did.

“Fine.” You mumbled when you felt another breeze blow past, the cold making you shiver again.

“Poor thing.” Rafe mumbled as he opened the door, motioning for you to get in the back.

“Here.” Rafe threw his jacket at you, you taking it and quickly pulling it over your shoulders.

Kelce looked at him with a knowing look, and Rafe held his hands up in mock defense, turning the car on again.

——

@sublimepenguinpeach-blog @haruvalentine4321 @theoraekenslover @ilovemensomuchagh

[elssero]

kiri offering to be the first person to give you head-

e.kirishima

♰ suggestive, not quite smut, pro hero!kiri x pro hero f!reader, slight angst.

you don’t remember exactly how you got into this situation, one minute you were finishing up your friday patrol and the next you were being dragged to a local bar, mina ashido pulling you by the wrist towards the table which sat your group of friends from high school.

you especially don’t remember how you got onto the topic at hand but your embarrassed. so embarrassed even that your sinking impossibly further into the cushioned seat of the round table your gathered around.

the tipsy chatter around the table has suddenly stopped, heads are turned towards you and you feel the multiple pairs of eyes scanning you- judging you.

it’s denki who speaks first, breaking the very awkward silence that makes you just want to run home and forget this ever happened.

“what the fuck do you mean you’ve never gotten head?”

you can’t help the increasing beating of your heart or the way you immediately look down to your lap, absolutely dripping in shame. he continues and god do you wish he hadn’t.

“weren’t you with todoroki for like a year? and he never gave you head? are you serious?”

the humiliation you feel right now is worse than ever before, it’s worse than that one time you showered in the male bathrooms by accident, infact it’s far worse than that. you can’t even bring yourself to lift up your head from its position looking directly down.

“i- i haven’t no-” you cut yourself off before continuing “it was just- it was never something he expressed interest in and neither have any of my hook ups since- it’s not a big deal- really.”

you finally lift your head up when you finish your sentence to find that everyone’s looking at you. each pair of eyes scanning you with what seems to be a look of pity. you need to get out of here.

“that’s so not cool-“ sero starts before he’s interrupted by bakugo “-not cool is an understatement it’s fuckin’ ridiculous- god i knew he was a loser but i didn’t think it was that bad.”

“it’s fine- honest- it never really bothered me” your lying. and everyone knows your lying by the way your voice drops and the way you can’t meet anyone’s eyes, your worried if you do that you’ll melt into a puddle of shame right there and then.

“should fuckin’ bother you- he’s a piece of shit- not giving his girlfriend of over a year some fuckin’ head what a dick.” he’s got you. of course it bothered you that your boyfriend- that woman constantly fawned over hadn’t even as much as tried to make you cum not once your entire relationship. in the beginning you excused it as him being inexperienced, you were his first everything- or at least you thought you were- nothing seems as clear cut as it once did since your break up 4 months ago. it’s not like he’s been your only partner either, you’ve been with people before and after todoroki it’s just- no one seems to actually care about your pleasure.

your sudden break up with todoroki followed swiftly after you’d begun working as pros- it was him who ended it- claiming he could’ve give you the time you deserved due to his entirely full schedule, whether it was patrol, or an interview, or a mission- you were never entirely sure what he was doing but you knew whatever it was, it didn’t involve you. it’s not like you can blame him, you yourself know how hard it is to start off as a pro hero.

ultimately you thank him, despite the fact you think it’s very unlikely that the two of you will ever even be on speaking terms again- at least not for the next couple of years- his sidekick made sure of that when she accidentally made a comment about them being together a mere 2 days after the two of you had broken up.

but still- you thank him, you hadn’t realised how isolated the two of you had became, attempting to salvage the hanging threads of your relationship by spending every minute of your free time together, you feel more relaxed- like you can focus on things you haven’t been able to give the time to in what feels like forever.

one of which being the group your with now, your own friend group from ua- not todorokis who you had been forced to go out with for the past couple of months- not that you didn’t enjoy their company! they just weren’t your friends.

despite the love and care you feel for the people around you- you need a bit of time to breathe following your confession to the group- you think that denkis shout of determination deciding they need to get you some head is the perfect time for you to escape.

“well- have fun with planning? m’ gonna get a drink at the bar- i’ll be right back” your words are slurring slightly, the embarrassment you recently felt only fuelling your current tipsy state.

“i’ll come with you-” it’s cheery, and you can’t help but smile up at the red head when we takes your arm and leads you to the bar, you watch as he takes a set on one of the bar stools- waiting to be served by the bartender as he beckons you to sit with him.

there’s a moment of silence between you, not completely uncomfortable- you can tell he has something to say but you wait for him to be ready to say it. in the meantime you observe him, he seems a little nervous but you can’t quite figure out why-

“m’ sorry i didn’t say anything back there- i was just- shocked” he’s not looking at you as he says it, it’s clear he feels bad.

“kiri please-” you giggle and you watch as he seems to smile slightly at the sound. “i said it wasn’t a big deal and i meant it!” you look up and and smile before you continue “and its definitely not that shocking either im sure there’s alot of people my age who have never- y’know…”

he catches your eyes now- he’s looking at you with an expression you can’t quite read- “but it is shocking.” he takes a deep breath in before continuing- “it’s absolutely crazy to me than he had you in front of him that whole time never once-” another deep breath- you swear you see him shudder a little before he continues “…tasted you.”

what?

what the fuck???

your eyes are blown wide as you stare at him- that same unreadable expression on his face as he looks into your eyes- he doesn’t dare look away- not now. his eyes are lidded, probably due to his alcohol intake and you sigh slightly when you realise that’s why he’s being like this. he doesn’t really mean what he’s saying and you feel a twinge of guilt at the fact it made your insides feel all warm.

it’s almost as though he can read your mind- sensing your self-dejecting thoughts he decides to continue- although quieter now, he leans in close to you and your breath catches in your throat- “i can’t believe he had the chance to have you and didn’t take it-” he’s moving closer as he speaks- your still frozen in place- “because- i’d do anything for it.”

you stop breathing- “you- you don’t mean that kiri it’s fine you don’t have to try and make me feel better-” you rush it out, your whole body feels hot. he’d do anything for it? you want to believe him- you really do. but you can’t, no one’s ever thought about you like that- your sure he’s just trying to cheer you up.

“don’t do that” his tone is harsh now, eyes still unwavering from yours as he stares you down, you see the look now, before unreadable now you can tell- it’s lust. he’s not in his right mind you think- he’s drunk- even if only having a singular drink so far, not even nearly enough to cloud his judgement to this extent but it’s the easiest excuse you can find right now for his behaviour.

“i’m not saying this to make you feel better- i mean it. every word.” he moves his hand to touch the soft skin of your exposed thigh and you feel your body betray you as your thighs immediately squeeze together in an attempt to feel something- anything.

his words are too much you decide- too overwhelming- rushing a feeling through you that you’ve never quite felt before- you want it. you really want it.

your both broken out of your trance when the bartender hand him over your drinks- ones you weren’t even aware that kiri had ordered as he takes them both in his hands-

“cmon, im sure our friends are waiting on us” he stands up with a smile- urging you to follow him as he turns around and leads you back to the table your long forgetten friends sit.

you don’t follow him- you can’t- your overcome by an emotion you can’t quite recognise as you stand up from your seat at the bar and make a direct run for the exit- putting on your jacket with a hurry as you push open the door with a force that could’ve taken it off the wall. you don’t look back- not for a second.

maybe part 2 incoming idk i’m trying to decide which root to take this :3 lmk!

♰ part 2

[chelseeebe]

somebody's watching me

day one of spooky week starts with eddie! a very cliche horror movie drabble to start off, r is babysitting and eddie just can't stay away

18+. mdni. smut. general horror tone.

๋࣭ ⭑🕸🦇🕸๋࣭ ⭑

“No Eddie,” you scold your boyfriend playfully, twirling the phone chord around your finger, “I told you I’m babysitting,” glancing up the, finally quiet, stairs, “I’ll make it up to you tomorrow, I promise.” 

He huffs, letting out a long, throaty whine from his throat, “but it’s Halloween tonight. I even rented Evil Dead for you, the new one too!” 

“And we can watch it tomorrow,” frowning though you really did find his incessant pleading quite sweet, “they’re paying me like fifty bucks for this.” 

Eddie sighs once again, “alright sweetheart, I get it,” reluctantly stopping his begging, “I’ll see you later, okay?” 

You smile to yourself, clutching the plastic telephone in your hand as if he were really here, “okay, I love you.” 

“Yeah, I love you too,” hearing his grin through the staticky phone line before it cuts off. 

Quickly placing the phone back onto its rightful place on the table. Mr. and Mrs. Dunstable had said you could use it as much as you liked after six, but you’d felt guilty enough about calling Eddie in the first place. 

Settling in to watch the TV all night instead. Deciding to flick over the channel playing ‘The Babysitter’ to find literally anything else instead. You weren’t scared per say, but chancing fate on a night like Halloween seems like a bad idea. 

You’re half-way through the movie, when something clangs outside the window, a metal echoing that sends shivers down your spine. You sit bolt-upright, grabbing the decorative vase as pitiful protection. 

It was probably just neighbourhood kids playing a cruel Halloween night trick. Wanting to scare the lone-babysitter like all the movies did. 

The sound starts again, only this time on the other side of the house, right outside of the back door. 

You glance quickly upstairs, wondering if you were truly prepared to lay your life down for those snotty kids or if you should just sprint out of the house as fast as your legs would carry. 

Oh my God. This is it. 

You hadn’t done even half the things you’d wanted to, dying alone in a strange house wasn’t exactly in your twenty-step plan. 

The back porch light flickers on, illuminating the empty yard through the wide glass doors. There’s no one there, it’s just the wind, maybe a stray cat running from the kids on the street. Any excuse you can conjure up to try and convince yourself that this wasn’t real. 

Before you can even attempt to settle your heartbeat, a face appears at the door, causing you to yelp in utter terror. 

He’s already laughing by the time you stand from the couch, in fits of laughter behind the glass, falling over onto the dewy grass. 

“You’re a fucking asshole,” you hiss, sliding the door open and to reveal your petulant, juvenile boyfriend. Laughing maniacally to himself as you try kill him with your mind. 

“Oh baby don’t be like that,” collecting himself from the floor, still snickering to himself, “I had to do it.. you can’t blame me,” grabbing hold of your arms, hoping to calm you down. 

“It’s not funny,” you pout, though you don’t push him away, “what’re you even doing here? I told you I was babysitting,” certain that the Dunstables would never approve of your boyfriend and his torn clothes coming into their pristine house. 

“I just wanted to see you,” Eddie coos, sliding his hands up the length of your arms, cradling your cheeks, “my pretty girl s’all alone,” already gently edging you back inside, his motives were definitely not unclear. 

“I’m not completely alone,” glancing over your shoulder to the stairs, you hadn’t heard a peep out of the kids all night. “They’ll never want me back if they find you here,” keeping him at arms length despite his grabby hands pawing at your waist. 

“I’ll be gone before they get back.. stop worrying about it,” fully walking you back into the dimly lit room, closing the door behind him before you could push him back through it. 

You hum with caution, though you do nothing to stop him from walking you back to the couch, fingers toying with the hem of your tee. 

“You’re so…” kissing the back of your teeth, all the while allowing him to lay you back on the soft cushions, his body falling on top. 

“So…?” quirking his lips into the most Eddie-like grin, real smug and smarmy. 

“Bad,” you bite, threading your fingers through his hair, throwing your head back in anticipation of his lips on your neck. 

Eddie nestles his face into the crook of your neck, starting with gentle kisses to the sensitive skin to quickly baring his teeth, sucking and nibbling at your collarbone. 

“Mmhm,” moaning in response to his lips moving slowly down your body, “we have to be careful.. and quiet,” placing great emphasis on that last part, because Eddie was anything but quiet. Even in his everyday life, he was the loudest human you’d ever encountered. 

His fingers lift your shirt further upward, exposing your stomach and the goosebumps that had appeared. Lips making their way down with a path of gentle kisses, keeping your hips steady with his heavy hand. 

You relax, finally. Allowing him to tug your jeans down so he can position himself perfectly between your legs. His face already buried deep in the middle of your supple thighs, kissing the soaked lace that dressed your cunt. 

“Sh-shit,” you shudder, arching your back already. 

Eddie’s fingers hook into the waistband of your panties, pulling ever-so-slowly, the cold air hitting your slick folds. He purrs as the lace comes off, licking his lips in sheer anticipation. 

“So wet f’me already,” slinging his arms tight around your thighs, ensuring you stay put throughout. 

You hum, bashful over your obvious arousal. Gasping quietly when his tongue slides through your folds, lips latching onto your aching clit. 

Your head falls back against the pillows, pushing the inevitable guilt from your mind to not your boyfriend worshipping your pussy. 

Eddie groans with each lap of his tongue, grinding his hips down into the couch, aching for just an inch of relief. Keeping his eyes trained on your pretty features despite your eyes struggling to stay open. Fluttering shut as soon as his finger teases your neglected hole. 

“Fuck Eds,” tightening your hold on his curly strands, “I missed you so much,” turning to incoherent babbles in an attempt to quieten your growing mewls. 

His lips vibrate against your cunt, probably agreeing with your mindless mumbles though all it does is make you louder, fingers pumping in and out while his tongue circles your clit, like this was the only thing he could eat for the rest of his life. 

His tongue doesn’t falter, circling your clit unrelenting as he tries to pull you to climax. An iron-tight grip keeps your wriggling hips pressed to the couch, desperately trying to grind your cunt against his face. 

The lights hit your eyelids first, bright white strobes of lighting that force your eyes open and immediately to the window. 

“Oh shit Eds,” you whine, frantically grabbing onto his hair to pull him up. 

“I know baby,” he coos, pulling his face from out of your pussy, still muffled by your thighs slung over his shoulders. 

“No Eddie, get up!” the headlights blare through the slightly cracked curtain, illuminating the x-rated scene happening in their living room. 

Eddie’s face re-emerges, shining with your slick, “oh fuck.. oh fuck- shit fuck,” scrambling to get from between your thighs and off of the couch. 

Only he doesn’t do so with any grace, landing on the floor with a loud thud, frantically grabbing your discarded underwear and tossing them vaguely towards the couch. 

“Oh my God!” you jolt upright, pulling your clothes back on, albeit skewed and twisted. Praying to God that they’d want to skip the small talk and let you leave immediately. 

You shove Eddie back towards the doors, pushing him outside just as the engine turns off, “I’ll be a couple minutes.. wait around the corner for me.” 

His lips quirk to the side, taking one last grab at your shirt to pull your face next to his, planting a disgraceful last kiss to the side of your mouth. If anyone were to ever try their luck as much as he did, they’d be locked away forever. 

“Get off of me dumbass! Go!” refusing to reward his petulant behaviour before sending him off into the night, the door coming shut with a slam. 

The key rattles in the front door, your cue to spring back over to the couch, adamant to keep up the facade for as long as it takes for you to get your money and get out of there. 

[anotherfcknschlattsimp]

SCHLATT WITH A GODDESS STUNNING BEAUTIFUL GORGEOUS PRETTY GF ^_^

AAAAAA I HAVE NO EXPERIENCE WITH THIS AS AN UGLY GAY MAN BUT ILL DO MY BEST

will NOT shut up about how gorgeous you are

walks with your hand in his and stares down anyone who looks at you too long for his liking

bragger, absolutely gets piss drunk at a creator party and starts showing and telling everyone how impossibly perfect you are

gets so jealous and insecure when guys come up to you and brush him off as just your friend

then you kiss his fuming face before he has a chance to knock the guy out

if one of your more conventionally attractive friends, or a pretty streamer starts talking to you, he backs down like a wounded puppy

like 2 minutes into the convo you go to look at him to see if he's okay and you just go :0 cause where the FUCK is he and HOW did you lose him

you excuse yourself to go find your self pitying boyfriend

he's pouting, drunk, cheek to the table in front of him

sees you and he perks up

doesnt even think about letting you know he's sad

he has to be a big burly man man for his perfect god/ess

put you see his puffy eyes and sniffles

"hey big guy, what's wrong? social battery that dead?" you say as you move the two of you to the door, ready to Irish goodbye it outta there

you can see him brace himself, "nuthin's wrong toots, you should get back to ya conversation" he leans to press a kiss to your forehead

"im not going anywhere without you bub" you gently pull his collar to make him lean down before covering his face in kisses

you can hear multiple shouts of course words from anyone that thought they had a chance with you realizing you really ARE taken by schlatt

you both decide to call it a night after schlatt popped a "problem" in his trousers

you notice he's grumpy about 5 minutes into the drive

"what's wrong baby :(" you pry, sad that the love of your life is sad

"nuthin' toots..." he mutters quietly

"don't sound like nuthin'"

"you're just too good for me 's all" he finally snaps, tears running down his face

youre finally home though

he gets out to walk to your side and open the door (always a gentleman)

you rush to hug him, tell him all the reasons you love him, and only him-

but the bitch ran inside already

you feel like a heeled usaine bolt as you patter and clack after the man as soon as you notice

TIMESKIP

you have schlatt pinned to the ground, his leg between yours and yours between his

he's stopped crying, eyes puffy and red, lips bitten and swollen (so very kissable), overall way too cute to think he wasn't enough for you

you both pant, trying to catch your breaths before talking things out

"I,,, love.,,,,,,,, YOU,,,, dumbass,,," you sound like you ran a marathon cause you basically did to find him in the absurdly big house

"why-" he starts before you capture his lips in a very passionate and hurried kiss, a ploy to stall so you can get your thoughts together

you break away "your smile" you kiss his forehead

"your laugh" you kiss his left cheek

"your mind" you kiss his right cheek

"your kindness with me" you kiss his nose

"and finally, your sexy body" you kiss him deeply again

he hasn't even caught his breath yet, calm down

NSFW

you feel something hard and hot pressing against your leg as you tangle your fingers in his hair

you move one hand down to lightly stroke him over his pants and boxers, eliciting a deep moan from the man under you

he takes an opening, that wasn't really there, to flip the two of you over "fuck,,, wanna take this to the bedroom, doll" he pants

you nod hard enough to send your hair everywhere like whips

he helps you stand before taking your hand and leading you to the bedroom, sitting you down on the bed and pushing you to lay down

he plants hot wet kisses down your form between declarations of love and reminders of your beauty as slightly tipsy and very eager fingers work to take off your shorts and underwear before lifting your legs to rest on his shoulders

he is DIVING in, the man is pussy STARVED and READY to EAT

might continue this later/another day

sorry if this isn't what you wanted, my fingers took me on a journey nobody was prepared for

[railingsofsorrow]

I was thinking about jj being at home while reader is out partying. and then she calls him, really really drunk so he's concerned and goes pick her up.

love your writing! ❤️

midnight swim

[jj maybank x reader]

summary: the one where you drink too much and decide to have a midnight swim but your boyfriend stops you.

pairing: jj maybank x reader

w.c: 1.1K

warnings/content: alcohol consumption; language; stupid drunk decisions; argument with parents (mentioned); suggestive content (you blink you miss it).

[requested]

A/N: HELLOO this was fun to write hope you like it :)

navi

masterpost

outer banks masterlist

request me something

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“Wanna go home.” You mumbled into the phone, walking outside of the loud house to have a moment of peace. Maybe your social battery is over. You didn't know what exactly cut your mood off from the party but you wanted to put on your pajamas and lay in your boyfriends' chest for the whole (rest) of the night.

“Mhm.”

“Dude, did you just kill me?!”

Pope's laughs echoed through the line, followed by JJ's trying to stifle a chuckle but he was very unsuccessful, earning a punch on his arm provided by his best friend.

“Baby? Sorry. The guys were being loud and— You still there?”

You hummed, eyes slightly unfocused staring at the enormous pool of whoever Kook's house you were. You were barely remembering your own name to be honest. You don't like drinking without your friends but you made the terrible choice to drown in booze to forget about the fight with your parents and here you are. Wallowing in self pity. And alcohol. A lot of it, it seemed.

“Baby?”

Rubbing your eyes with a sigh, you replied with a soft hi and there's some shuffling in the background.

“How's the party? Eat any fancy finger food yet? Or is it just champagne?”

“Fuck off.” You couldn't help your chuckle. Your feet somehow carry you out of the porch and into the pool area. Everything felt hot.

You can hear your boyfriends' deep chuckle before he teased you some more, attempting to rile you up. JJ was aware that when you called him at a party was either because you wanted to leave or you just got tired of being socially active and the excuse of being on the phone was good to keep people away temporarily. He wanted to know which was the option now.

“So?”

“'s boring. I wanna— Ouch.” Your laugh was loud but you didn't had a filter with the alcohol in your system so you didn't think much of it or that it wasn't so funny to stumble and fall flat on your ass.

“What?” JJ seemed to notice your lack of sobriety through your continuous giggles. “Where are you right now?” He prompted, eyeing the van's keys on the bowl beside him but not moving to grasp it quite yet. You were a big girl, you could handle yourself; you told him that once when you called him drunk and he showed up to take you home because he was worried. You were pissed. He'd never do it again unless he felt the need to. He didn't want to be possessive in any way.

“Wish I was with you.” He couldn't see your pout but he knew it was there. “Listen... We should go for a midnight swim—is it midnight yet?” You laughed, crawling towards the edge of the pool. The water looked so clean and it was so hot, you just wanted a quick swim.

“It's 1am, baby.”

“Perfect.”

The blond's lips quirked up slightly. “You sure you good? Not doing anything stupid, right?”

“You said it yourself stupid things have good outcomes all the time.” You retorted, taking off your sandals. “Ah, shit. I didn't brought a bikini.”

“Why would you need a bikini?” JJ yawned, resting back comfortably against John B's beaten-up couch. “Was it a pool party? I can't remember you telling me—”

“Not a pool party but they have a pool.” You clarify, blinking down at your outfit. “Baby, I gotta get off my dress, I don't wanna make it wet.”

The way he sat up so quickly that Pope, who was thrown on the loveseat gave him a look of confusion.

“Why do you wanna— Where are you?”

You sighed impatiently. “Told you we should have a midnight swim! I'm by the pool—”

“Okay, yeah, no.” JJ grabbed the car keys and practically sprint out the door. So much for not doing anything stupid. “Baby, can you do me a favour?”

Your face scrunched up and you shook your head. “No. 'm gonna wait for you in the pool—”

“No, you're not. You're gonna get your pretty little feet away from whatever pool you're nearby and you're gonna wait for me, got it?”

“But the midnight swim...” you slurred out, throwing your head back with a groan. “C'mon, stars ar' out and—”

“We'll have a swim when I get there but only if you wait for me, 'kay?” JJ tried a different tactic, a bit desperate for you to get the hell away from the pool while being drunk. “Where are you at again?” He knew some of your friends but he didn't know exactly whose house you were at.

“Stacy's.” You replied, dumping your feet in the pool and dangling them from one side to the other. You were sitting at the edge, the party inside echoing all of the excitement from strangers and the few (three?) people you barely knew.

The Twinkie was on before JJ even shut the door.

“Baby?”

He said carefully, praying you hadn't jumped in the pool in the meanwhile. You let out a low hum in response.

“Your dress' still on, right, princess.”

“Why? You wanna take it off?” She chuckled, leaning back to rest against her elbows. “Still on. 'm waiting f'you like you asked.”

“Good girl.” He turned on the street and now it was only ten minutes away by car. He'd make it in five. “Hey. Are you dizzy or feeling lightheaded? Are you sitting down?”

“Okay, doctor Maybank. You're doing a full checkup or something—Hey!” You exclaimed in indignation when a splash went off and you got soaked. Someone had jumped on the pool. A group of girls that were shrieking like little kids. You stumbled away from the pool, your eyes a little more focused now as you walked towards the backdoor, pushing between people to reach the exit and leave that fucking party. God why did you even came?

“Babe, you good? I'm here.”

“Yeah,” you mumbled, watching the beat up van park in front of Stacy's house. “I see you.”

JJ stepped out of the vehicle to greet you. You met him halfway, a pout on yours lips when he asked why on earth were you wet. “Did you get into the pool—”

“No! Some stupid girls jumped in it and I was sitting close!” You whined and JJ's concern turned into amusement really quickly. “Stupid, fucking—”

“Alright, alright.” He wrapped an arm around your shoulders to bring you closer, running a hand across your back and pressing his lips against your forehead. Your sigh was muffled when you buried your face in his shirt. “Let's get you in some nice comfy and dry clothes, yeah? You good with that?”

“You promised a swim.”

He kissed your pout away until it became a smile you were trying to break into a frown but was unable to.

“Sobriety first then we'll swim and surf and do whatever you want, baby.”

Just definitely not tonight.

[sashiavi]

•····🍑······• ֪٘ ︶ ͝ ٘⏝𝓓𝓪𝔂 𝓕𝓸𝓾𝓻𝓽𝓮𝓮𝓷⏝ ͝ ٘︶٘ ֪•······🍑····•

𝚂𝚊𝚜𝚑𝚒𝙰𝚟𝚒'𝚜 𝙺𝙸𝙽𝙺𝚃𝙾𝙱𝙴𝚁 2023

#14•𝚅𝚘𝚢𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚜𝚖•#14

𝙰𝚕𝚑𝚊𝚒𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚖 𝚡 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚡 𝙺𝚊𝚟𝚎𝚑 ʷᵒʳᵈ ᶜᵒᵘⁿᵗ ¹.⁵ᵏ

The front door shuts with a soft click, Kaveh places his keys in a bowl at the entrance of the home. He didn't bother calling out his presence, it was far too late O'Clock. Kaveh was lucky he managed to snag his keys that morning, who knows where he would be sleeping if he couldn't get into the house. He was sure you'd let him in, if he knocked on your window or something, chastise him while giving him a pretty smile. The sleepy man shakes his head and pitters through the living room, dodging the sharp corners of the coffee table in the pitch black. He heads in the direction of his humble abode, Archons, what he wouldn't give to lay down.

Kaveh stops short at a noise, a noise of.. pain? He turns, the sound coming from the adjacent room in the other hall. Alhaitham's room specifically. He knew the man got up to some funny business from time to time, definitely not the usual work a lowly Scribe was assigned. Maybe he was hurt? He was far too prideful to let anyone see. Kaveh purses his lips in thought, maybe he should check on him.. Alhaitham was his landlord after all, it was the least he could do. He maybe did care about him a little, a lot.. a whole lot.. He has a passing thought on where You were at this hour, maybe you were sleeping. Or out? If you were hearing this you'd be bashing at his door.

Kaveh sighs softly and makes his way over to the other side of the house, silently maneuvering back through the living room - He totally wasn't afraid of disturbing the man and he didn't want to assess the situation before bothering him. Absurd. If you called Kaveh an overthinker he would deny it.. And then contemplate if you even liked him in the first place. He finds his way near Alhaitham's door, the soft glow of a lamp dances out from a crack. He'd left it open, he supposed that was normal maybe? For a lunatic at least.

Kaveh hides in the darkness, peering into the crack in Alhaitham's door - because he was concerned. His eyes widen and he steps back, his heart races, his pulse blasts in his neck. Respectfully - What. The. Fuck?

On thing he wasn't expecting to see was Alhaitham's raging boner. Or better yet, You on Alhaitham's raging BONER!

The last thing he expected to see was his two roommates fucking. Excuse his language - when did this come about? Kaveh should leave, like yesterday, like last week. He really shouldn't be here, this was a private moment between two.. lovers? People that lived together? The two people he'd fallen head over heels for? Ask him and he'll deny it. And yet, he feels something, a nasty twisting achey feeling in his tummy. Jealousy? Something along those lines. Jealousy for the two that caught his affections enjoying eachothers company and not his. Was something like that even possible?

Kaveh needed to go back to his room, wallow away in self pity in his bed while he cuddled a bottle of rich, red wine. And yet. His feet wouldn't move, not past the cracked door, not past the view of your pretty pussy, hugging Alhaitham's cock as you rode him. Kaveh's hand absent-mindedly reaches for the bulge in his pants, hot and throbbing behind his trousers. Was it wrong? Perhaps. But something in Kaveh's mind stirred, a sick thought. If he was to never have either of them he might as well indulge just this once.

He listens to you moan, whining sweet praises down to the man below, babbling about just how big he was. Just how good he felt. He hears Alhaitham's smooth voice cut through your whimpers, tucking your hair behind your ear as you fuck yourself in his lap.

"Shh.. quiet… quiet baby, don't want Kaveh to hear huh? He'll be home any minute.." He hears his low voice taunt playfully. Too late now, Kaveh muses, sliding his hand into the waistband of his pants. You keen loudly, rolling your hips harder into Alhaitham's groin. He sees your milky cunt clench his fat cock, sliding up and down, creating the prettiest, creamiest ring on Alhaitham's length. The aforementioned man groans, large hands coming to your hips, now in control of your pace.

"Tightening up on me… Not thinking of him are you?" Kaveh couldn't decipher Alhaitham's tone, his head was far too heavy. His palm wraps around his achey pink head, he nearly hisses through his teeth. He flicks his wrist, jerking himself off to the sight of you. Alhaitham steadies his feet under himself, gripping tightly at your pretty, jiggly ass. He grinds his hips upward, fucking up into your milky pussy. Kaveh watches your puffy lips squeeze at Alhaithams thick length, sheening prettily in the light of the lamp, glossy and oh so lickable.

Kaveh felt like a sick old pervert. He was at least two years their senior, their upperclassman, a tutor a mentor, a perverted man rubbing one out while he watched his pretty babies fuck eachother stupid. He couldn't care. Did not care. Your sweet pretty pussy looked too good wrapped around Alhaitham's cock.

Kaveh shoves two fingers into his own mouth, imagining the thick, delicious stretch of Alhaitham's length. Imagining the sweet taste of your cunt on his tongue. Imagining gagging on Alhaitham's fat cockhead, licking up the sweet concoction of his spunky cum and your creamy pussy. Kaveh rolls a thumb over his flushed head, teasing at his slit, catching the dribbling pre that oozed from his cock. He nearly moans, he catches it on his fingers, gagging himself while he dumbly fucks his own mouth.

He hears you moan, loud and wanton, nearly sobbing as Alhaitham plows into your gushy pussy. Gods he was close, about to cum and make a mess in his pants like a stupid bitch.

"Alhaitham! Haitham~ Haika-.... Haitham! Kave-Haitham-" You babble and squeal, too fucked out to get your words straight. Kaveh felt the same, brain fogged and stupid, nearly hearing his own name spout from your pretty mouth.

"Gonna come baby? Yeah..? Come on, come on sweetheart.. come on my cock" Alhaitham's voice is strained, he was surely not going to last any longer. His eyes lock to your weeping pussy as you cry out. You mess over Alhaitham's lap, cunt gushing wetly over his balls, creaming over his thick length. Alhaitham follows suit, milked by your pretty pussy. Kaveh watches Alhaitham's thick, creamy cum spill out of your hole as he fucks you through your orgasms. He sees your arousal dribbling down his heavy balls as you squeal and keen into the man below you. Kaveh's eyes roll back and he's sure he nearly passes out. He busts in his palm, spilling hot ropes of cum right into his pants, he bites down hard on his fingers, drooling spit down his chin.

He steps back, accidentally scuffing his foot against the floorboard. Shit. Kaveh's stomach drops, any ounce of clarity gone. He was a dirty old pervert and he was going to get kicked out and publicly shamed and he was never going to see the light of day again because he was going to prison for the rest of eternity. Dramatics aside he was terrified.

He hears an airy giggle, and then a low chuckle, a soft peck of a kiss and your sweet pretty voice;

"Kaveh baby~ Come snuggle~" He hears. His brain short circuits. What?

He musters the courage to peep through the door once again, his ruby red eyes glimmer in the lamp light. He looks between the two, vision darting between you and Alhaitham, now laid on the bed next to each other. He focuses on Alhaitham, tilting his head and scrunching his brow in confusion. The man tuts, smiles and beckons him, patting the comforter they laid upon.

Surely this was a trap, a guise to get him in there and beat him up or something. You giggle again, jumping up from the bed and making your way to the door. You give a downturned smile before pulling at the accessorized collar of his clothes. You drag him over and command him to strip down - enough to be comfy in bed.

Kaveh does as he's told and he's dragged into bed from behind, a pair of strong arms wrap around his torso. Alhaitham breathes him in, sighing and snuggling into the back of his neck. Kaveh relaxes into the touch, it was odd but not unwelcome. You come to his front, tucking yourself into his chest.

You look up at him, nuzzling your nose into his lips as you speak, babbling about how it's cute he watched them and he's so cute when he's confused. Alhaitham grumbles in short agreements, tightening his arms in short squeezes of acknowledgement.

The nasty twist of jealousy in his tummy quickly fades into something less sickly. Soft and fond and full. Maybe he could have both of you.

I thought of them and then I wroted them i blacked out and here we are😔

I just- I can't live without Kavehaitham please let me hAve this </3

They break my writers block uwu

Yes I'm behind on my days, no I don't wanna talk about it 😭

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Thank You For Reading! Comments Are Always Appreciated! I'll Kiss You If You Comment Muah Muah ilysm

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[dashofmonsters]

Dreamers & Delusions- Pt. 5

merman x female reader

It's been a couple weeks now since you and Tao had started your fake dating situationship thing. He walks you to and from work as often as he can and invites you to his home more and more.

You end up hanging out with him most days and are rarely at your grandmother's except to sleep or get ready for work. On the days you don't have work and don't want to go to the beach, Tao has let you hang out at his rental. It was odd at first but you quickly got comfortable with it.

Today though, you couldn't get out of the house. The weather has gotten worse and it's been raining for two days straight. Yesterday you saw him while he was out grocery shopping, he looked a bit upset then. Over and over he kept asking if you'd be okay but you'd told him you'll be fine.

Now, you're not so sure.

It's only been two days but your grandmother hasn't shut up.

"Your looks will only last so long. You should consider doing something that will keep him on his toes. Maybe try to freshen up your wardrobe," your grandmother rants from her recliner.

"He's not interested in stuff like that. I mean he dresses like uncle Rob when he's out mowing the lawn for fucks sake. Merfolk don't care about that stuff," you roll your eyes as you fiddle with your phone.

You hear your grandmother scoff.

She wasn't quite onboard with you "dating" Tao after she found out he was a merman. She kept complaining that it would be difficult to have a normal life together and what would your kids look like. It's been never ending with her on that front but now she's back to you.

"I'm just saying, what if he does get bored with you? You'll at least be ready for someone else," she states.

"Just shut up! You don't know jack shit! No wonder you're fucking alone! Do you hear yourself," you snap at her. You feel like you should feel bad for what you just said but you don't.

Your grandmother rises from her recliner and stomps towards you with a foul glare.

"I took you in you ungrateful little bitch. Day in and day out I let you come and go as you please and this is what I get? I took pity on you because of that piss poor excuse of a daughter of mine... But I can see the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree," she seethes, spitting on your face.

Thunder roars outside and shakes the house. A flash of lightning and the power is off. You can still make out the miserable shape of your grandmother in front of you. You can still hear her breathing impatiently, undeterred by the darkness.

"You're right, the apple didn't fall too far from the tree. My mom's a fuck up who lost her husband just like you did," you spit back to her.

Your cheek stings suddenly and you realize your grandmother has slapped you. Again and again, three... four times she hits you before you grab her wrist and shove her away.

"Fuck this," you holler, stomping away from you grandmother and down the hall.

You can hear her yelling at you, cursing you and your mother. But you ignore her as you pull the door open. The rain is coming down in sheets and although it's noon, the sky is almost dark as night.

Slamming the door behind you, you take a few careful steps down the stairs and bolt across the empty street. The walk to the beach is slow but you don't care. You just want to be there, you want to feel the wind as it whips off the waves.

The rain stops for a little bit, slowing to a sprinkle as you step onto the drenched sand. Your shoes get stuck a few times till you decide to just take them off. Little by little you make your way to the life guard tower. The rain picks up again as you climb up and curl into a ball against the back wall.

Your stomach drops and you hold yourself as you start to cry. You hate feeling like this, you hate that every time you fight with your grandmother you let her get into your head.

You feel nauseous and tired, drained from yelling and running in the rain. You just wanted a fresh start away from your hometown. You wanted a better life, an easier life, but everything has been getting difficult lately.

The heaviness of the rain lulls you to sleep as you curl up with a damp beach towel you found in the tower. You're shivering cold, but you're to tired and eventually you drift to sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tao:

I haven't been able to shake this horrible feeling since I woke up this morning. I dragged myself out of my tank earlier than usual and showered off. The hot water helped me clear my head as it has been every morning.

I cannot stop thinking about my dear friend and more often then not I fall asleep with her on my mind. Sweet dreams usually follow and I wake up angry at myself for thinking of her too much.

Today is different though, the shower helped long enough for me to dry off and make it to the kitchen before I started thinking of her again.

I've let her into my home so often so she can avoid her grandmother and little by little she's left bits of herself here. A jacket that I have hung next to my own by the door. A couple of her books that I've skimmed through but found it too licentious to finish. And her crown from the night we shared with the pixies.

I have placed her crown in my nest room for a reason I cannot understand. I have fallen asleep with it in my hands almost everyday. Three days ago I had thought I lost it and nearly ruined my home looking for it. I was ashamed of myself when I found it in one of its usual spots in the room.

I felt horrible that I let my thoughts of her consume me so, but today it's worse. So much worse. I feel dreadful and not because of my thoughts of her. Something deep inside of me is uneasy and restless.

My kitchen is in a state of chaos after I make breakfast, an unusual sight for me since I clean as I go. I eat quickly and quietly but I am unable to finish eating. I feel sick and I almost double over when I start on the dishes.

Bile bubbles up in the back of my throat and my chest feels heavy. That horrible feeling explodes and suddenly I find myself racing to the door.

The rain is coming down hard and I can hardly see anything in front of me but I make my way down the wooden steps. I freeze in my tracts once I get to the bottom.

Something feels off, wrong and twisted.

I allow myself a moment and another as I realize my instincts are coming alive. I sniff the air again and again until I smell it.

It's faint but it's undeniably her scent.

The rain would have washed it away already unless she has left the safety of her home.

I start running then, running for dear life towards the beach. The horrid feeling I had was for her all along, for the safety of my only friend and shoal mate. I had ignored it for too long, I just hope that I'm not too late.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

You startle awake from the loud thunder clapping. The rain had gotten worse as you slept. The clouds have darkened and the wind has grown stronger. The tower groans as the wind assaults it every few minutes.

Groggy and cold and wet, you try to find another beach towel to wrap up in but you find none. You try to consider your options but your mind is so tired and you're becoming a bit anxious with the storm getting worse.

You decide then to make an attempt to get to Tao's home. You'd be safe there and far away from your grandmother.

Step by careful step you make it down the tower and your heart stops at the view in front of you. The waves are hitting the beach harder and fast. The tide is high and you're a bit too close to the water than you're comfortable with.

You look around and decide that if you can get to the houses on the other side of the beach you can worm your way through that neighborhood to his house.

Slowly and ever so cautiously you step forward. You have to balance yourself as the wind is constantly threatening to knock you down. You're teetering closer and closer to the waves as you walk towards the houses. You keep trying to walk away from them but somehow manage to find your feet right back in the water.

You're halfway there when you hear something behind you but by the time you turn around it's too late. You're knocked out almost instantly and you fall hard and fast. The waves lap at your body, slowly pulling you into the ocean.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tao:

I race up and down the beach trying to find her, my body fighting to transform under the heavy rains. I sniff the air again and again but the scent has drifted. No, it's drifting...

My heart stops as I look out into the dangerous dark waters.

I sniff again, hoping I'm wrong but I'm not.

I sprint towards the waves and jump as high and as far as I can into the ocean. I dive in and within second I smell her... I smell her blood.

I force the transformation and swim as fast as I can towards her scent. This storm will have no doubt invited several unwanted predators to this area and if they have smelled her blood...

Something heavy rams into my side and I reel back as I see a bull shark charging towards me. I harden my fist using what magic I have and punch the creature on the snout before electrocuting it. The shark shakes its massive body and tries to attack again.

I haven't the time for this.

Not wanting to kill an innocent creature, I use my magic to disrupt the currents and have the shark swept up in them.

Quickly I swim away and try to follow the scent again. It's getting further and further away but stronger. She's loosing blood and fast.

I push myself more than I ever had before and swim until I feel like my lungs might give out. The scent of her blood becomes so strong I can practically taste it.

Grinding my teeth, I move faster until I see her limp body bobbing in and out of the water. I quickly surface and see her loosely hanging onto a plastic trash bin. I quickly pull her into my arms and look around us.

I can hardly see the beach from here... She was pulled so far from land.

Gathering my strength I swim hard towards the shore. I have to be careful and keep her head above the water, it's not easy. I would give her gills like I did the night we danced with the pixies but she's not awake for it. I have to shift her ever so often as the waves threaten to pull us under and I have to use an immense amount of magic to keep the currents steady.

I almost panic when she slides out of my arms and I have to quickly swim back for her. I pray to the goddesses for the first time in a long time that I make it back to the shore with her alive.

By the time we reach land the sky is truly dark. The wind has died down and the tide has lowered. I pull her and myself up, breathing heavily as I lay us down. I look at her and I feel a mix of pain and relief. She's breathing but she's hurt.

Blood trickles down her head and there's a gash on her leg where her pants have been torn. I work fast to bring myself back to my human form. It hurts like hell forcing it and I grit my teeth. I am motionless for a few minutes after my tail has split into legs. It burns worse than ever after swimming so hard.

I shake as I force myself to stand and carefully scoop my friend into my arms. My muscles ache but the gnawing heavy dread I had felt has subsided a great deal. Holding her close to me I begin the long walk back home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's warm and quiet when you finally wake up. You're sitting on a bench covered in towels with a space heater next to you. You tilt your head back, a searing pain making you wince.

You gasp, a wheezing noise leaving your mouth. You hear someone running towards you and you feel their warm hands on your face.

"Thank the goddesses, you're finally awake," Tao says.

You can only tell it's him by his voice, your vision is still blurry and your head hurts so bad.

"Why the hell were you at the beach," you hear him yell.

You try to open your mouth but it's dry and tastes like salt. Your head lulls to the side and your blurry vision becomes slightly clearer. Tao is kneeling before you, his hands move from your face to your shoulders. He grips you and you wince, everything hurting.

"You were over a mile away from the beach when I found you! You could have been killed! For... Fucks sake you were covered in blood when I found you! Were you drinking that vile human alcohol again? Why would you go out and do something like that," Tao shakes you, still yelling and unable to control himself.

You limply raise your hand a plop it weakly over his arm. You mouth a few words begging him to stop as you begin to cry. Your voice is hoarse and your throat sore but you manage a few dry words.

"I'm sorry... please Tao... Please stop... You're hurting me," you cough and are nearly out of breath from just speaking.

Tao stops shaking you and loosens his grip on you. His hands fall to the bench before snaking around you and pulling you closer to him. He rests his head on your lap and you feel him shivering.

"I thought I had lost you... I couldn't find you and when I did... You were so far away and unconscious. You were just floating there while bleeding out. Why were you there... Why," Tao holds you closer, his nails digging into your skin.

You cough as you try to speak but it's no use. You keep coughing and coughing so hard it hurts. Tao quickly scoops you up and brings you to the kitchen where he gently sets you on the counter. He brings you a large glass of water that you chug down. You're still coughing but it doesn't hurt as bad as it did before.

Tao takes your cup and refills it and as he hands it to you, you start crying again.

This day keeps getting worse and worse and you just want it to end. First the fight with your grandmother, then you get knocked out and dragged into the ocean, and now Tao is mad at you.

A part of you wishes that you stayed lost at sea. That you might have finally found some peace and everyone would probably be better off without you. That thought consumes you till you start weeping in earnest.

"Fuck," you hear Tao curse and then you hear something break.

You begin to shake even as Tao wraps his arms around you. He holds you, not too tight but close enough that you can hear his heart beat.

"I'm sorry, please stop crying. I just-," Tao tenses up and you hear his voice crack. "You're all I have, please be more careful... please."

You hear what he's saying but you're too tired, too hurt to really register any of it. He keeps talking, his voice calming down but the words are lost on you. The pain you feel on your head is dulling but draining. You keep going in and out and Tao keeps talking.

There's a loss of heat for a moment, your eyelids too heavy to peel open to see what's going on. You feel yourself being lifted and walked somewhere. Something warm and soft is wrapped around you before you're set down on something even more soft. You limply nestle into it before allowing sleep to claim you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tao:

I pace in my kitchen for what feels like hours. I am feeling too many things at once and I cannot sort them properly. My friend is safe and fast asleep in my nest room. Her injuries were not deep but there were many. I cleaned and bandaged what I could without having to strip her but I fear I might have missed a few cuts and wounds because of that.

Her words play over and over in my head, when I asked her what she was doing at the beach. In my rage I yelled at her, again. In my desperation I accused her of being drunk even though I realized too late I didn't smell any alcohol on her breath. I have made a terrible mistake.

She might resent me now, might even fear me. She's already afraid of sharks and my mer half is similar to that creature. She was terrified the first time she touched my tail. What if she's still terrified of me but doesn't say anything?

Rage swells in my heart for what I have done, for hurting her and making her cry. I look down at my hand, my knuckles are torn after punching the wall and the skin on my fingers are slightly cut.

I am not good enough for her... I've hurt her...

That anger quickly dies down and is replaced with a gnawing sorrow. I slide to the floor and grip at my hair while grinding my teeth. Three, no four of my front teeth pop out from how hard I bite down. I spit them out and wince as I feel the back row shift forward.

This pain must be my punishment for what I have done. I must beg for forgiveness when she wakes up. I cannot bare the thought of her being afraid of me, it hurts too much.

I sit and center myself as I shed the front row of my teeth and spit them out little by little. I am covered in blood and I feel horrible. A new back row will grow in a day or two causing more well deserved pain. It will serve as a reminder of what I've done. For now though, I am tired and my shoal mate needs me to watch over her.

She ran to the beach for a reason. I was too enraged to hear her out and too impatient to let her heal before speaking.

I clean myself up and quickly change into something warm before heading to my nest room.

My friend is sleeping soundly but with tears sliding down her cheeks. I carefully place a hand over her forehead, she is cold. I have wrapped her in a large towel since she is dirty and too tired to change into anything.

I pause and try to think what she would even wear. My clothes are large and one of my shirts would fit her like a short dress. I imagine it for a moment and inhale sharply. It would be the only thing I own that would fit her and it would cover just above the knees. I slap myself for thinking of her like that.

She is my friend, she is my shoal mate, you are not good enough for someone like her.

I chant that over and over again but the more I do the more it feels like a lie.

What if I could be more than just a friend to her, what if I am good enough for her, what if she could be my-

I stop that last thought. It would be too good to be true if she could be more than just a friend, but to be my mate or my fated mate? I would pray to the goddesses everyday for the good fortune of allowing me to meet her.

But that is not the case, no matter how much I wish it.

I carefully step around her and lay by her side, gently pulling her into my arms. Hearing her breathe settles me and I feel myself purring. I chuckle remembering how I reacted to her talking about that. I know talking about purring is embarrassing but I never questioned why until after that day.

She has made me question myself, question my upbringing, and my kin more often than not to the point that I'm not sure who I really am. I've allowed myself to be defined by what I am and where I'm from that I don't know who I am. She mentioned once that she hates being judged by her work and family and I'm starting to understand that.

I hope that tomorrow I can make amends with her so that we can talk and learn each other more

~~~~~~~~~~~~

You ache everywhere when you wake up. Your head in pounding and your stomach makes an angry growl. The lights are dim when you open your eyes. You're surrounded by plush pillows and blankets that smell freshly laundered. You suddenly realize that you're in Tao's nest room.

You try to sit up but every fiber of your being is screaming in agony. You groan in pain and wince when you touch your head. Everything starts to slowly come back and the last thing you remember is Tao wrapping you up and carefully laying you down.

A cough forces its way out until you're having a fit. Your throat is on fire, dry and sore. You hear heavy foot fall and suddenly you see Tao. He helps you sit up and brings a cup to your lips. You slowly drink, some of the water not making it into your mouth.

Tao holds you as you catch your breath, the dryness in your throat has subsided but it's still sore. You loll your head till you're looking up at him and whimper a quiet apology. You feel Tao's grip on you tighten before he carefully lays you back down.

"No, it is I who should be sorry. You are injured and exhausted and I had yelled at you, again. I made a horrible accusation and expressed my anger about what had happened when you're already vulnerable and cannot speak. I am ashamed of myself," Tao admits, his voice despondently.

You limply pat his hand, "As long as you're not mad at me or hate me we're good."

Tao takes your hand in his and lightly squeezes it, "I will never hate my friend but I am upset that you put yourself in danger. What were you thinking?"

"I wasn't," you say then cough. "I was running on pure emotions and spite. I-" you cough again and again into another fit. Tao helps you drink once more and tells you that you can talk once you're better.

But you ignore him, needing to get this all off your chest.

"I got into another fight with my grandmother. She was being a class A bitch about some shit and then she brought you into the conversation and I lost it," you explain, clearing your throat afterwards.

"So you ran to the beach in the middle of a storm," Tao asks dryly.

"Like I said, wasn't thinking. I just wanted to get way from her and my feet just took me there. I stayed up in the guard tower where I passed out, emotionally exhausted and when I came to, I decided to make my way to your place," you say, pausing to let Tao help you drink some more water.

"I don't know what happened but the next thing I knew I was bashed in the back of the head! I came to a few times when I was being dragged further from land... I remember getting scrapped up and screaming from the pain. I probably passed out again afterwards. Then you found me. You saved me," you can't help the tears that start coming on then.

As you cry you start to remember being helplessly dragged miles away from shore. Too sore to move and terrified that you might drown or become fish food. You screamed so much your throat became raw. You remember your leg being torn by a rock and being whipped against a buoy so hard your back bruised immediately. Everything hurts and feels sharp and dull all at once. Worst of all, you're starving and your tummy is not being quiet about it.

"What is that sound," Tao asks.

"My stomach... I haven't eaten anything since the day before my grandmother and I fought. So it's protesting and-"

Tao quickly sets you back down and scrambles out of the room. You hear chaos unfold from the kitchen and before you know it he's back with an armful of snacks.

"Please eat these while I go cook you something warm," is all he says before rushing off again.

He's deposited the snacks in front of you, all of them being your usual favorites that you munched on when you hung out here. You always brought them over and never really stored any here. You don't want to think too much into it aside from him practicing to be a good mate to someone else. You'd get your hopes up for no reason otherwise.

You happily tear into a bag of chips and chow down. Three bags of chips later Tao returns with a large bowl of soup. It smells so good your mouth starts watering.

Tao helps you sit up and piles a few pillows behind you. You reach for the bowl only for Tao to move the tray with it on his lap.

"You're shaking too much, I'll feed you," Tao states.

You glare at him for a moment and then at yourself, "Fuck."

"Eat and then I'll take you to the bathroom so you can bathe yourself and clean whatever wounds you can or I couldn't get to," he says, scooping some soup up and bringing it to your lips.

You take a bite, trying not to be awkward in this situation, "What wounds? And I don't even have a change of clothes what would I even wear?"

Tao makes you take a few more bites while he mulls over your question. He's clearly uncomfortable about something an it shows as plain as day.

"Tao, let's not be weird about this. We're both adults buddy," you say after finishing another amazing bite of soup.

"I didn't get to the wounds on your back or thighs since... since touching or getting to either spot would have been highly inappropriate," he answers, looking away from you though.

"Ok, I appreciate the chivalry but what if I had a really really bad injury on either spot of I don't know some weird fish venom you would have had to strip me and I would have been alright with that. I trust you dude and not once have you creeped me out," you tell him.

He finally looks back at you and the whites of his eyes slowly turn black. "I do not feel worthy of such trust my friend, not after what I did."

"Well guess what, you have my trust regardless of loosing your shit and rightfully so! You were scared, I get it. You don't have to keep beating yourself up over it," you reach out and lightly pat his arm.

"Are you certain? I hurt you and yel-"

"I said it's fine, jeeze! Water under the bridge. Forgive and forget. Less sadness, more soup," you pat his arm again and make a face.

Tao chuckles and shakes his head, "How is it that you're torn up and still as talkative as ever."

"My mouth doesn't have an off switch man, I could ta-"

Tao shoves a spoonful of soup into your mouth.

"I do believe I just found the off switch for that mouth of yours," he grins.

You swallow hard and as mad as you feign to be you can't help but to laugh, "Ya got me, feed me good food and I shut right up."

With that Tao feeds you another bite but it's a bit much and some of the broth slides down your chin. Before you have a chance to clean it off, Tao wipes it off with his thumb before cleaning it off with his tongue. Your brain blanks out for a moment and you feel your cheeks heat up.

"I uh think I'm getting full... Don't want to eat too much in one sitting," you try to play it cool but your voice cracks and you want to crawl under a rock and bang your head against a wall.

"Understood, I can save the rest for when you're hungry again. I'll put this up and draw a bath for you," he nods before standing up.

Your stomach sinks when you remember that you have nothing to wear after you get out of the bath.

"Oh uh yeah hey Tao buddy, um I don't have a change of clothes so...," you start, making a few nervous and fiddly gestures with your hands.

Tao stops in his tracks and visibly tenses up, "Right, I uh... I put one of my larger shirts for you to wear in there. Unfortunately that's the only thing I own that would fit you so..."

There's an awkward silence between the both of you that is blessedly broken by a loud roll of thunder that shakes the windows.

"That's fine," you finally squeak.

"Alright," Tao nods.

"Ok then," you pat your knees.

You scream internally and beg the universe to help you not make this day any weirder and wilder than it's already starting out to be.

[scrubbinn]

Mimic HRT: 20 months “Broken patients”

“Ah Ms.Mulberry… I, er, didn’t expect to see you. This early I mean. Making use of that outside privilege we worked so hard to get you. Of course you would. We managed to set the standard that all of your kind will keep their citizenship status until their crossroads, rather than at the start of their treatment. But, we’ll need to make sure this doesn’t happen again. Why don’t you- Ah, already taking a seat I see. So then… How are we feeling today? You seem… yourself.”

“...”

“Well, let’s see, what we can expect now is a few more days in court just to settle things, make sure the government is satisfied with the arrangements we all agreed upon. We’ll also need a few weeks to determine if this therian support group is actually reputable enough that this will count towards your psychological evaluation. Recently there have been some rumors about the manager being a bit unsavory, so that will cause a delay, if not entirely set you back some time. Really now, you must have realized finding a professional therapist would have been a much safer move… Excuse me, Ms.Mulberry, can I inquire why-

“You will not. Now keep talking.”

“Ms.Mulberry you seem rather upset, perhaps-

“You’re wondering why I decided to not use my mimicry to disguise a face for myself today. Oh believe me, I would have loved to walk in here a mass of sludge with eyes and teeth all over but it turns out human society doesn’t really like that too much. Having a head with no eyes to look at is a courtesy I am giving you. It’s more than you deserve. What the fuck is all this talk of we? You weren’t even at the last fucking meeting. Our lawyer wasn’t even at the last fucking meeting!”

“You’re clearly distressed, you should leave the premises immed-

“SHUT UP! YOU DON’T GET TO TALK!... Just shut up and listen. There is no we. As far as I am aware, this bullshit lawsuit against your clinic is the most roundabout way to specifically get me into a criminal court considering this incident didn’t even take place in hyper city. The lawyer I was given is somehow less competent than you are! Do you know how much time I’ve spent these past two months learning, specifically, Hyper city legal jargon? How overly complex a nexus point’s laws have to be to account for literally anything! And you left us to sink or swim! I could pass the fucking bar exam here if I wanted to at this point! And the worst part, oh my god the worst part. It cost me everything. I can’t so much as afford a hot dog on the way back home now. Because you’re some blinding asshole who thinks I should have to pay for everything! Well you know what? Perhaps you should be the one paying now! I am going to drag you down into the mud with me. Do you really think I don’t know why you never showed up, why I had to do everything? Because what's one experiment to you? Scape-goat, lab-rat, guinea pig, a mimicry of something human no longer. The second your clinic was in the clear, you left me to fend for myself. I can't believe I had an ounce of pity for you. When you comforted my decision to stop at my crossroad I actually thought you cared about me. That there was someone that could understand my fears!”

“Mayday that was what I was doing! I saw someone in pain and I did my best! I-

“Your best?! Oh my. Ha. Hahahaha. You don't even get it yourself do you? No you idiot! You comforted us because you saw the last shred of our humanity and told us to never let go of it. You're not clever Theodore. Inside that mind of yours whether you admit it or not, the second we start this treatment, you see all of us as inferior and beneath you. You self-righteous bastard. You know what, how about I let you talk. Won't cut you off this time. I want you to explain to me what your goal is. Why do you help us when you could simply refuse? Why put yourself through this? 

“And if I don’t feel the need to justify my actions to someone threatening me? What if I were to call security to drag out a crazed patient? What would you do then?”

“What would I do? I'll know the second you push that panic button, and we both know what we can do to a human body. Don’t make me go through that again.”

“Right then, I suppose I'll have to give you a truth that will satisfy you in this clear state of psychosis brought about by a clear lack of sleep and several stressors.” 

“We both know you're nowhere near trained to be a psychiatrist. Stick to working with hormone levels Mr. endocrinologist.”

“You want the truth? Fine, How's about this? Some witch had weird friends and made a promise of a lot of money if I sold her magic as a medicine. Happy? No? Of course not! That's not what you're asking you frea- No. I won't let you get the better of me. You want to know why I stuck around. Why after all these years I haven't retired… I really could, couldn't I. There are other doctors, for over a year I haven't been the only one supplying this stuff. I've had my fair share of attacks both verbally and physically from both sides of this city. I'm not sticking around because I have to, I've made enough breakthroughs and connections to create my own hormonal formulas without the need of the witch who dragged me in this business in the first place. There are so many reasons to retire and let my legacy live on in the scientific textbooks of all worlds. But no. The truest reason I fight for this clinic is to see people who walk through these doors happy! I see dozens of brilliant and kind souls walk through this door, ones who had the unfortunate fate of being born in the wrong body! I am giving my time, life, reputation, and money to help people because that is its own rewar- Stop growling! You said no interruptions!”

“Well you're clearly lying to yourself if you actually think seeing us happy is your end goal. Or were you not paying attention when I had to remind you that you abandoned me in a court case that shouldn't have even legally happened. They spent half their time trying to get the victim, my god damn girlfriend, to indict me as a crazed lunatic. If their goal was to crush me mentally and physically then they succeeded. Otherwise it was just a waste of time. I can’t even fathom how much time they must have if spending it going after an otherkin that slightly bothered them is possible! There is one thing that I got out of it though. There is one glimmer of light in this forsaken tunnel. Because that useless lawyer let me get a look at all the documentation of this clinic. Maybe the reason for this case was just for them to get a look at it. Find something to pin you with. Either way I guess everything you do is legal since they never went after you about it. But still, getting to read everything you’ve ever done has been quite the eye opener. Every experiment and procedure you’ve ever done.”

“And? As you already said, everything I’ve done is above the board and… Wait, you couldn’t possibly think of leaking those to the general public? You shouldn't even have them anymore. Making copies like that is illegal! If you leak those documents then you’ll go down with me. This is all a bluff to you.”

“Erian, you should know better than anyone how well we can disappear. Or how well we could make you disappear. Besides, for the record, I never said I made copies, but perhaps I might have. I just want you to know exactly where we stand. You hurt me, but I’m not so petty as to hurt you back. Instead you’re going to give me a job here. As an assistant.”

“This might be the worst job interview I’ve ever held. You do realize blackmail makes an awful resume don’t you? But I can’t exactly decline now can I. Tell me Mayday. What happened to the young woman who came here scared yet excited for a better life? You once said you wanted to work here before, but resort to this kind of behavior. Why even take a job here? It would make your bargaining chip even worse for you than for me?”

“Look, despite everything. What you’ve done to us, what you’ve done to others. Everything I learned. I, don't hate you. It’s not in my nature. I am quite literally doing this because it is my only option to not starve. And despite my attempts to hate you this whole confrontation I can't hold onto it for long. I get that what you think you're doing is some greater good for therians. But you're not the misunderstood hero you think you are. You're just seeking attention. Doesn't matter if it's good or bad you just end up making awful problems for everyone in the name of research that at best, will only ever appear in a science textbook, and you know that. Look, it's ok, I get what it’s like to seek that sort of validation. I could help you. Please, just give me the job.”

“You are wrong about me Mayday, you consider me obsessed with my image of a hero but perhaps your delusions about me are simply your obsession. I don't have a choice in giving you a job. I suppose I'll find something for you that's out of the way. I can’t say I'm excited to work with you. But perhaps you'll make a good legal advisor for now if you're as well versed in law as you say you are. No, trusting you with that would be a mistake, we’ll start you off as a janitor perhaps, I’m sure your body’s makeup should help you in that field. Besides, janitors are already basically invisible to everyone else, I’m sure your mimic mind would prefer that.”

“Oh no, we are not ending this conversation like that. Legal advisor? Janitor? Are you trying to make us angry again? No, I'm staying as far away from those kinds of positions as possible! You'll be paying for my degree and I'm working directly as an assistant. This isn't something you can negotiate!”

“I think you’ll find that it is! Because as far as I’m concerned, you’ll settle for any job. You don’t have the power to demand what position I find for you. The second you have this job, it becomes too valuable to destroy. You will accept this role or you will sink us both. Do I make myself clear?”

“I- I could attack you. You know a bite from me could kill you! I’ll do it!”

“You’ve already played your hand Mayday, I know most of this conversation was just a bluff from you anyways. Be thankful that, if I feel generous enough, I’ll forget this little incident when the time comes that I can secure this clinic’s future without fear of your threats. I do see many brilliant souls walk through this door. It’s a shame you weren’t one of them. But, I’m someone who cares about my patients despite your attacks on my character. I’ll give you one last chance to convince me why I shouldn’t give you the worst possible job I could find.”

“I- You’re right. This is just a bluff. I can’t even call it a roar, this is just my last whimper before I lose everything. I don’t. There’s nothing left after today. Abi can’t afford to take care of me. Going back home is what caused this mess in the first place. Theo, I’m here because you are my last lifeline. You can decline my employment if you want. I never actually copied the evidence I saw. I’m just a mimic of empty threats. My last echo before I disappear. I’m just scared. We lost.”

“Mayday… You are certainly good at trying my patience as well as heartstrings. Fine then, I’ll overlook these threats of yours as brought about by desperation. You will never state to the public what rumors they might have claimed as evidence, and you will be worked down to the bone- er, tooth, as an assistant. Do I make myself clear?”

“Oh my stars thank you!”

“Please do not mention it.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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[fangirlstorycreator]

Terry Silver X Reader

Contains: Strong language/swearing/arguments/sexual contact/sexual content

Part 3/5

A few days had passed, and while you carried on your days at work, helping your colleagues and being the great owner and manager of your kindergarten, deep down, you were still hurting. Jack had left message after message on your phone, demanding you come and see him and take him back, but you ignored him. And after 2 more days of this constant messaging, you changed your phone number, feeling some final calm after Jack's storm. There was no reason, at all, for wanting or needing to see Jack, you wanted him out of your life for good, but despite you changing your number, he still knew where you lived. He'd knock at your door, again and again, but you'd never answered or let him in. He just wouldn't take no for an answer, and when his behaviour got too much, you called the police, had him removed from your area, and even had a restraining order put against him. However, that didn't stop him. It was just a little piece of useless paper, is what he said, banging on your front door once again. After that stupid move, he was arrested and kept in the jail. He apparently had noone to bail him out, so he was stuck inside for a while at least, which was a little strange to you. You assumed his dad would bail him out, or maybe he didn't know? But, unbeknownst to you, at this very moment, Jack was using his phone privilege to call Terry.

"Hello?"

"Dad! Dad, you've got to help me!"

"What? Why? What have you done now?"

"I'm in jail! And it's all Y/N's fault!"

"What the fuck? What's that supposed to mean? Oh god, what have you been doing Jack? Have you done something to her?"

"No! I haven't! I'm just trying to make her see sense! She won't take me back!"

"Well of course she won't. You cheated on her, remember?"

"But she's being so sensitive! It was just sex! And it's not like it's the first time!"

"Excuse me, what?!"

"Eh-well-uh, she-she doesn't...exactly know about the other times. But it's just sex! It's not that serious!"

"Oh really? You think so? Well tell me this Jack. If the shoe was on the other foot, and it was Y/N who cheated on you, would you accept the, quite frankly, pitiful excuse of, it's just sex?"

"Hell no! She's my woman! She needs to be loyal to me!"

"Then there's your answer Jack"

"But this is different! I'm the man! She should stay with me even if I sleep around! That's what a good woman should do!"

"The fuck?! Do you actually hear yourself right now?!"

"Look, I don't have time for a lecture right now, I need you to bail me out"

"Before I do anything, you need to tell me exactly why your in jail"

"It's nothing really. Just some stupid paperwork a judge gave me, apparently I didn't stick to the rules, and now I'm in hear"

"What paperwork was this?"

"It's just paperwork! A stupid piece of paper saying I can't go within 100 metres of Y/N or her apartment. Which is ridiculous! How the hell else am I supposed to get her to come back to me?"

"Wait wait wait! You have a restraining order against you? And you broke it?!"

"God, you sound just as sensitive as Y/N does. It's not that big a deal"

"Not that big a deal?! You broke the law! And the only reason you'd have a restraining order against you, is if you were harassing Y/N, to the point where she would have to call the police!"

"Yeh! She did call the police on me! She was over reacting! All I did was message her every day, knock on her door day and night, and tell her that she's nothing without me! Because it's true! Why am I getting thrown in hear when she's the reason? She should be thrown in hear! Not me!"

"........Oh my god.......you really are a horrible person"

"What? What did you call me?"

"You heard me Jack. Your a horrible person. You have absolutely no right to treat people this way, especially women. And honestly? I'm embarrassed your my son"

"Embarrassed?! You should be proud of me! I'm being a real man!"

"A real man wouldn't stalk his ex girlfriend, harass her constantly, verbally berate her, cheat on her, ignore her and her needs, and make her feel like some inanimate object that's only there to dote on you! Your not a man! I explained to you the night at the restaurant how you should behave with Y/N, and you've completely thrown that out of the window!"

"I don't care about all that right now! I need you to come down and bail me out! I need to tell Y/N that she can't just ignore me like this"

"No."

"No?! Wha-what do you mean NO!"

"It sounds to me, like your in the best place right now. Kept safely away from her, where you should be. I'm not using my money to let out a nasty little creature like you"

"Hey! I'm your son! You've got to bail me out! You've missed out on my whole life, this is the least you could do! Or! Get Y/N down hear! You know her address, make her come to me!"

"If I'm ever lucky enough to see Y/N again, I would rather lie down in traffic then tell her to come bail you out of jail. And yes, I know her address, but unlike you, I know she needs time. It will be at least another week before I contemplate visiting her and apologising"

"Apologising for what?!"

"For my son being the cause of her suffering, that's what! Now, if you don't mind, I have to make another call"

"No, NO! Get down hear and bail me out, NOW! If you don't, I'll make you regret it!"

"Oh yeh?........I would love...to see you try..."

The next week went by in a flash, you were finaly starting to feel more normal. With Jack being kept in jail, and his bail unpaid, you felt more comfortable now than you had in a very long time. Although, a thought did pop into your head every now and again, and that thought was Terry. There was a part of you that felt bad, because you didn't say goodbye, and he was such a sweet guy, it stuck with you. One afternoon while coming home from work early, you opened your apartment door, to find some post, but it looked hand written, and? that's strange? there was something inside it with the letter. You sat at your dining room table, opened the letter, and out slid the necklace you left at Terry's house.

"(Gasps) The necklace?"

Quickly, you read the letter.

Hello Y/N, it's Terry. Listen, I hope I'm not making you uncomfortable by sending you this, due to recent event's, but I wanted to return what I gifted you the last time we spoke. I hope your well, and doing alright after the whole situation with Jack. And, I wanted to ask, if it's not an issue, I'd very much like to speak with you in person, and apologise for my son's behaviour. I completely understand if you want to leave Jack and anything from his life behind you, but if your willing to give me and hour of your time, I'd like to at least say a proper goodbye. If that's something you'd like, I'll be home this evening at 5. If you don't wish to come, I'll understand. Terry.

No way! Terry actually reached out to you? Isn't that sweet of him? And he was lovely enough to give you back the necklace too, aww. You know what? Why the hell not? Why not go and see him? He didn't make Jack behave the way he did, and Terry has been nothing but a gentleman to you the entire time you've known him. The least you could do was see him, and like he said, at least say goodbye properly. Ok, that's exactly what you'll do. As soon as it turns 5, you'll be knocking on his door, nothing was going to stop you. At Terry home, he eagerly watched the clock tick tick tick, anxious, nervous about weather you'd turn up to not. But then, three knocks came to the door, at bang on 5. Straightening himself up, he approached the door, and there you stood, a sweet little smile to greet him too.

"Hi Terry"

"Hello Y/N, it's so nice to see you again. Please, come in"

Entering Terry's home, despite there being only two of you this time, was still just as beautiful and comforting as it was the first time.

"Can I get you something to drink?"

"Sure, do you have anything like a soft drink?"

"I've got diet coke"

"That's perfect"

"Ice and lemon?"

"Wow, I feel like I'm being served in a 5 star restaurant hear"

"I think any woman who enters my home, deserves to be treated well. Why don't you take a seat? I'll bring the drinks over"

You glance at his art work on the wall as you sit on his large, soft, black sofa, admiring the newly lit fireplace, slowly warming the room with each passing minute.

"Hear you go. (Hands you your drink and sits next to you) Cheers"

"Cheers (clink)"

Terry's got himself a glass of wine to drink with you, and it looked hella expensive! Hm? A white wine drinker? You had him down as a red, or a champagne guy. Once you both sat a little more comfortably on the sofa, the conversation started to flow, like talking to a best friend after being apart for a long time, it was really nice, and you even exchanged phone numbers. You were glad you came hear tonight.

"And you really got covered in a whole bucket of white paint?!"

"I absolutely did! Miyagi was a little guy, but boy could he fight back. I know at the time I disliked him, but thinking about him now, I kinda respect the little guy"

"Because, in your words, he was the only one who was able to take you down?"

"He really was. Man, that was so many years ago. I often wonder if I'd be able to get back into the dojo business"

"Well I think you could"

"You think so?"

"Sure, why not? Your age shouldn't matter, and from what you've already told me tonight, it's clear your still good at it, and passionate about it too"

"You uh......you said, when we first met, that you were interested in trying out karate. If you'd like, I can give you a lesson?"

"Wait really?! I'd love to Terry!"

"Great! You wanna do it now?"

"Now? You mean you have your own dojo?"

"Not quite, I've got my own training room/gym down the hall. I've got some spare GI's too that you can wear. You up for that?"

"That sounds brilliant! Yes please"

"Alright, follow me"

Terry took you into his training room, which was huge! It had large blue mats against the wall, training dummies, all sorts of gym equipment, a large tapestry with his old dojo name on it, Cobra kai, and so much more.

"Alright, let's see...ah! This looks like your size. There's a changing room just there if you'd like to put it on?"

"No problem, I'll be right back"

The GI fit perfectly, and when you had it on, it made you feel empowered, you loved it. With any luck, training will make you feel just as good. Stepping out, you see Terry's changed too, but not into a GI. Instead, it looks more like a workout outfit, all black, joggers and a vest top. Oh......oh my.......that vest top was......showing Terry's muscles.....holy shit! For a guy his age, he looked good! Better than good! In fact, he had a better body than Jack! You simply......couldn't.....look away....

Wait, no no NO! Stop Y/N! You can't think your EX boyfriend's dad as hot! That's just plain wrong!.........and yet.......you still.....couldn't look away.

"Alright Y/N. Lets do some stretches first, then I'll show you some of the basics"

Once you did the stretches with him, he showed you some basic moves, how to kick the dummy in the right place, how to move your body correctly, and there was even a little moment where he stood behind you, and held your hips in his strong large hands, twisting your hips slightly to show you how to stand. Why did that make your skin so warm? And why oh why, did you crave for him to do it again? After a good hour, both you and Terry were comfortable with some basic moves, and you were able to demonstrate on the dummy, how much you've learned.

"Your a natural at this Y/N, I'm impressed"

"Thank's Terry, it's great to finaly try this out. I'm loving it so far!"

"That's fantastic. Now, I was hoping I could try something a little different with you?"

"Sure, what's that?"

"Well.....I wanted to ask you......if you felt any pent up anger, or resentment? About Jack"

"Well of course I do. But I'm just burying that down inside, I don't wanna think about it to be honest"

"Ok, but that's not the way to help you, not realistically. You see, when you bury your issues, it's easy to forget the impact they make. And before long, you get used to it, and if you have more problems, you bury them, and keep doing it, until it all eventually boils over, and you have a break down. And sweetheart....that's not healthy"

"But what else can I do? I have to be professional at work and I don't want to be a bother to any of my friends. I have to keep it inside"

"Or?.......you can release it"

"Release it?"

"Check it out (walks to dummy) This dummy, can take anything you throw at it. You can release all that pent up anger, let out all those emotions, and feel that heavy weight finaly lift off. You'll feel so much better for doing it. And this is a safe space, there's no judgment hear. Why not give it a try? Come step up to it, and let it all out, and I can guarantee you'll feel better. I know I do when I get rough with this thing. Hear, I'll show you"

He gets into position, and starts fighting this dummy, but not just that, he's speaking to it too. Pretending it's someone named Kreese? Whoever that is. He's really beating the crap out of it, working those strong....large muscles-STOP IT! Anyway, he's really letting out all his tention, maybe it will work for you? You could at least give it a try?

Once he finished, he stood back and allowed you to approach. He had cooled down by then and put his hoodie back on, but despite his beautiful muscles now being hidden, his messy ponytail hair was making you feel the same way his body was.

"Just let all that anger pour out of you. Hit the dummy, pretend it's Jack"

"Huh? You want me to pretend it's Jack? He's your son Terry"

"After finding out who he really is, I don't feel like he's any son of mine. Please, go ahead"

Ok....lets just try a few punches, see if that helps. 1! 2,3,4! Ooh, this felt good. 4 punches in, and you could feel what Terry was talking about. You continued, getting harder, faster each time.

"Yes Y/N! Keep going"

"I hate you Jack! I hate the way you never respected me! I hate when I'd make myself look beautiful, and you'd barely look at me! I hate that I supported you in your darkest moments, and yet you always found the most pathetic excuse to not help me in mine!"

"That's it! Let it out!"

"I hate that despite everything I've ever done, you have the nerve to cheat on me! And DEMAND that I take you back because it's what a GOOD WOMAN should do! Fuck you Jack! FUCK YOU!"

At this point, nothing was stopping you, there was this adrenaline pumping through your veins, urging you to keep going, wishing this dummy was infact Jack, and giving him exactly what he deserved. Terry could see your smile, finaly getting that pain off your chest, and he was very impressed with how your strength was nearly damaging the dummy, and almost kicking it off it's stump.

"Asshole never deserved me! Doesn't deserve any woman! He's a boy in a mans body, pretending to be-woh!"

In your rant, you attempt a high kick, but accidentally slip, and fall right onto your back. But you just laugh, lying there feeling no pain, just a light feeling. Terry knelt beside you in seconds, concerned for you, but the moment he sees you laughing and smiling, so does he.

"Are you ok?"

"I'm brilliant Terry! I don't even care that I fell, I'm just brilliant! Thank you, thank you for this. I really needed to let off some steam"

"You certainly did. Hear, why don't I help you up?"

"Help me up? Like a knight rescuing a damsel in distress? (Giggle) I'm sorry, I'm just in a fun mood"

"Don't be sorry, I'm quite happy to be your knight, and rescue you"

"Do you think you can save me from this evil floor? Sir Silver?"

"(Chuckle, leans closer) I like this fun side of you, and the name too by the way"

"I feel like it's been too long since I've had fun like this, what is it about you that brings that out of me?"

"I don't know.....maybe we.....bring it out of eachother.............."

He was so close to you now, the urge to reach out and rest your hand on his cheek was extremely difficult to ignore. And those eyes....those beautiful blue sapphire eyes, looking deep into yours, you were practically hypnotized. And Terry, he didn't look away either....infact....if his eyes weren't staring into yours, they were looking at your lips.....so so slowly edging closer and closer. The tention between you was electrifying, your body was screaming for his touch, his scent, his lips. You were at your boiling point, and couldn't hold back anymore, and gave into your darkest temptation. In a flash, you reach up around Terry's neck, and pulled him down for a desperate kiss, wanting, desperately for the taste of him. He moans into your mouth, lowering himself down to you, wrapping his arms around your body and kissing you deeply, passionately, with a primal hunger from within. Oh god, he wanted you too! His hands stroked up your body, cupping your breats and getting even closer, while never breaking this powerful kiss. Oh, his tounge slipped in ever so, teasing you, while also making you feel so fucking turned on. One of your hands slipped up behind his neck, and made a fist into his hair, while the other moved over his shoulders, pulling away his hoodie, and finally feeling your fingertips glide over that smooth silky skin of his. His lips pulled away for a second, only to dive straight into you neck, kissing, sucking and running his tounge up and down, making your back arch and your body shiver with anticipation. Oh god you wanted him so bad! You wanted Terry to tear off your clothes, take you right there on the floor, hard and rough! Making you scream the walls down as your lungs burned, screaming his name! Just as his hand slipped inbetween your legs, your mind suddenly stoped you.

"No! Stop! This is your ex's dad! What are you doing?!"

You thought to yourself, shaking yourself out of this blissful moment.

"Terry! Terry stop!"

"Huh? What? What's wrong? Did I hurt you?"

N-no, I....I'm sorry, I-I can't do this"

You awkwardly slip out from underneath him, standing up to straighten your clothes, while Terry watches you from the floor, confused.

"What's wrong?"

"Terry, I can't do this. It's....it's wrong"

"It didn't, it doesn't feel wrong to me"

"But your Jack's dad! Your son is my ex boyfriend, who I have a restraining order against. We shouldn't be doing this Terry"

"Says who?"

"Says-says everyone! This is crossing a line!"

"Y/N, didn't Jack cross the like by cheating on you?"

"Well yeh, of course he did"

"And didn't he also cross another line? By trying to mentally manipulate you? Convince you that you were weak and needed a man like him? Not caring about your emotional or physical needs? And not only that, but harassing you, making you fear for your safety? Calling the police on him, and having to do that AGAIN when he violated the terms of his restraining order?"

"Yes....yes he did"

"Then what's wrong with what we're doing hear? Your not with him anymore. Your single, I'm single, we're both attracted to eachother. And my relationship with Jack is just one step away from being no contact. So.....why not?.........I do care about you Y/N.....I really do........I hated seeing Jack treat you that way.........you deserve to be treated like a queen........I........I could do that...."

"I.......Terry, I.......I don't know ok? I'm really confused right now, I need.....I need some time to think. I need some space. I'm, I'm sorry, I can't be hear right now, I have to go"

"But wait, Y/N-"

But it was no use, you ran out of that house as quick as your legs could carry you, and were home very soon after. Your mind was racing, what on earth just happened? And what are you going to do now? You've just made out with, and nearly slept with Jack's dad! His DAD! What is wrong with you? Yes, he's gorgeous, but you can't possibly cross that line can you? What would people say? How would they react if they found out? How would Jack react if he found out?! Oh god, you were so confused, you felt stuck, unsure of what to do. You needed time to think this over, weight out the pros and cons, or maybe, just sleep on it? You were too flustered to make any kind of decision right now, maybe tomorrow you'll have a clearer head, and can choose how to go forward. But right now, your number one thing to do, was have a very cold shower. Because DAMN! Even Jack hadn't made you feel that turned on since you were together. Something about Terry made it so much better. Anyway, stop thinking about him! Cold shower! Right now!

Link to part 4

[calronhunt]

I'm really inspired by how you write complicated characters, so I was wondering if you have any advice you could share?

I make characters with the intention that I want to make comics with them, and I always find myself getting stuck on the worry that they will be misinterpreted by other people, which leads to me leaning further away from making the characters complicated and messy but then they are less enjoyable for me to write

A big one I'm stuck on right now is one of my characters who is used as an attack dog for another character essentially, and I know you have a few characters who have a similar thing going on, but I worry about the fact that some people might reduce it down to a "murder is bad" thing and not understand what I'm trying to get across with the character, especially with wanting his arc to be learning that he deserves a better life then that

But complicated characters in general are something I struggle to have confidence in writing, so if you have any advice in general for how you go about writing characters I would be interested in hearing

well Number One, you gotta not worry about how other people will perceive your character. no matter what you do, even if you, for lack of a better phrase, "dumb it down," people are going to misunderstand your character and what you're getting across. When you're writing the main audience you should be concerned with is yourself. Do you like how this character's arc goes? okay then go with that. Don't care about how you think others will perceive it. That often just makes you more petrified and scared to actually create anything and writing for a perceived backlash/misunderstanding is never a good thing. (and also anecdotally, I've found it harder to get across that "violence and murder is bad and fucks you up permanently" to my audience then the opposite lmaooo)

BUT yeah writing complicated characters is my favorite thing on the planet. What I often like to do is give character a mix of sympathetic traits and Objectively Bad Actions but with reasons to back up WHY they did that tie back into the sympathetic trait.

Ariel is a bad person. She's an awful mother, an awful partner to her wife, and self pitying as can all be. She's not abusive in any verbal or physical way, she's passive. She's neglectful. She's sad. She doesn't want to rock the status quo of the royal family at all. and she feels bad about all of this but she can't stop doing it. However, all of these aspects can be tied back to Ariel witnessing the assassination of her parents at 18, how young she had to take the throne, and all of the responsibilities she had pushed onto her. She married young and had children young bc the importance of continuing her line was pushed on her. She cheated on her wife bc she liked the small bit of freedom the man she saw offered her from all the things keeping her trapped in royalty. She neglects Raphael, the cheat child, bc she hates how much he looks like her and how he reminds her of all the mistakes in her life.

None of this is an excuse for Ariel's actions obviously. but it offers an explanation as to why she's made these choices. and that's kinda the core for complicated characters for me.

There are several characters that I have that are bad people, people who do objectively bad things, people who hurt others, characters who dig deeper and deeper into being a terrible person bc it's all they know how to do. But then I sit back and I think about their circumstances and their life and I think "Would I be any better if I was in their place." My characters like Mariner, Lain, Ericka, Lionel, Fate and Dry really hit that sweet spot for me.

[modernsourlettuce]

I was originally gonna vent to my diary but my wrist got tired so I'm writing another vent post.

I am scared of the effect that I have in other people's lives.

I'm a bit of a trainwreck lately and hurting other people is way too fucking easy for me right now. Hell imagine finding out someone you care about has drugged themselves because of an effect you had on them. Worrying that they may hurt or even kill themselves because of nobody other than yourself.

My brain's not taking that nicely. It's being mean but sort of reasonable at the same time. If I hurt other people to the point of genuinely possibly having ruined their life, or creating the possibility of them taking their life, then that means that I am not a good person and that just as I hurt them, I can hurt other people. People that I care about, whose lives I have entered.

I have already upset a couple of people and ignored a couple others. I wouldn't like being ignored nor made upset by someone I refer to as a friend, would I? Then again I don't have the energy to deal with them at all — but ignoring my friends can also be a cause of harm.

So, according to my brain, there is no better way to avoid harming the people I care about than not having people I care about. I can't worry my loved ones if I don't have any loved ones to begin with.

So it wants me to get away from them, to leave their lives. Yes, it'll hurt at first maybe but they should forget about me, surely? And I agree but I don't agree. Cause no I do not want to harm them. But at the same time LEAVING them can be a huge way to cause harm— FUCK I thought a person may fucking die.

So I keep making choices and I keep regretting them. Breaking friendships and holding grudges but then sparing said grudges and then being like "GOD DAMNIT YOU FUCKING NITWIT WHY'D YOU BRING THIS PERSON BACK INTO YOUR LIFE", wishing I wasn't friends with my friends, setting boundaries and then destroying them to then build them up again, changing the level of formality I've got with some people and then being like SHIT WHY DID I DO THAT and it's like that all the time.

I can't make choices involving other people without regretting them right after. I try to fly away but then stop right before batting my wings again. Add in a couple anxiety attacks and breakdowns in between.

My brain was already being mean to me before this, talking about the future, a out how fucking meaningless it is to live in the society we live in and how I'm set to follow a path that's only got suffering in store for me.

I've missed school thrice this week. Or four times? I can't quite tell.

I don't want to have an effect on other people's lives and neither do I want to face my future as a member of society. I shouldn't be allowed to interact with people in my current state or else I'll just confuse myself and bring them harm. I already feel like a pitiful enough excuse of a person and I don't need to add more coal into the fire when it could already be labeled as an arson.

I genuinely want to be locked away until I can make my own choices without regretting them in a matter of mere seconds. I shouldn't be able to interact with the world until I'm a person again. I'm scared I'll hurt more people. At the same time, the idea of dying alone isn't exactly appealing, but it's better than having someone else possibly crush their neck or slice their skin because of something you said or did.

My brain and I want to cut everybody off from my life— or, better said, cut myself off of everybody's life, and at the same time I there are friendships I appreciate too much to let go. But my brain's like “No, trust me, it'll be better if you leave their lives. Both parties will get happier, give it time. You'll be happy if you're alone” or something like that. It's weird. It doesn't help that Anxiety's chosen to be a bitch again and I low-key think I might be falling back into depression??? It's just a thought though, I haven't been tested nor anything, but I had it some time ago and my current situation is pretty familiar. So it could be. I'll mention all of this to my therapist on my next visit.

I kind of want to sleep but I also don't feel like I should. See there it is again. I wanna sleep but my brain is like “No, girlie, you don't really deserve to sleep. PLUS IT'S SO FUN TO SPEND A DAY AWAKE AFTER A SLEEPLESS NIGHT!! You get bloodshot eyes and weird thoughts and you may start trembling now and then and your feelings are like way more intense, but isn't that better than feeling lifeless? Plus, you'll get two pretty rings under your eyes, who doesn't like eye bags?” and I'm like “But I have to sleep” and my brain is like “Yeah but do you deserve to?” and it's. Eh. It's a lil tiring.

[sadpretty-blog-blog]

i love you and i always will love you but do i love YOU anymore? do i still love the person that you are or do i just feel love for you? do i even like the person you are? do i like the things you like do i feel that i can live up to your expectations of me do i feel like i can give you what you want do i think you deserve the things you want do i think you can give me the things i want in the future do we want the same things in the future? i always said i wanted to be in each other's lives forever i never imagined my future without you in it and if i did imagine that it was out of fear, not curiosity or desire.

do i love the way you make me feel? i don't know. you make me feel bad a lot of the time. i don't even think i'm angry at you at all i don't even know if i care i just don't feel anything. and i don't feel this way about anything else in my life right now i'm not unsure about any of my friendships or about myself or how i spend my time or my career or literally anything besides our relationship. i used to be so sure i wanted to marry you but something in me lately a very small part of me lately keeps making me second guess. there have been a few times in the past few months i almost thought we should break up. but then you say something nice or i get upset and scared because i don't want to accept it.

i don't like the way you think. i think you think you deserve whatever you want from me, no excuses. i don't think you'd ever flat out say it to me but i can tell by the way you react when i tell you no. sometimes when i tell you no you tell me you're not mad or you don't care or it's not a big deal but i have to wonder whether you're trying to convince me or yourself. today i told you i was too tired to suck your dick and you told me not to come over tonight. you made me so upset but i somehow was not 1000% surprised. i was expecting you to say you were kidding but that never happened. you made me so upset i don't think you even fully comprehend why that was wrong of you and that makes me so fucking angry you're an adult and what you said made me feel so disrespected. and yes you apologized you know you shouldn't have said that but why the fuck would you say that? i know why you said it though i know you care more about getting off than i ever have or will in my life and i know you think i owe it to you because you're a good boyfriend to me. you made sure to remind me that you painted my apartment for me and that you bought me groceries and that you did me suuuuch a huge favor by not asking me for head after inviting yourself to my apartment after i worked a 10 hour shift.

i don't like talking on the phone after work anymore but i know i can't say that or you'll get upset and make me feel guilty for it and not take no for an answer and try to change my mind. and my mind will not change but i will pretend it did to get you to stop talking. i don't think you understand at all how emotionally and physically draining my job is. i don't think you understand the strain it takes on my body. i'm not asking for a pity party, i chose to do what i do and i knew what i was getting myself into. i don't want you to feel bad for me. i want you to understand that after work i do not want to come to your house and bend over for you or suck your dick i want to lay down and close my eyes and not move. and i do not fucking want or need deep emotional conversations or conversations about nothing or to hear you complain about your friends who you don't even like at 12:45 am on a thursday night. i spend the whole day being someone else's bitch and taking care of strangers and putting on an emotional show some days. so when i get home from 10 hours of that i don't exactly feel like chit chatting about what you ate for dinner or just sit there not speaking when i have things i want to do for myself.

maybe i am being selfish maybe i am just really tired of feeling like i am walking on eggshells with your feelings and need to appease you no matter how badly i don't want to because i don't want to deal with you throwing a tantrum or turning over in bed and not talking to me for hours. i think you're not as half as emotionally mature as you think you are. i don't think you realize how egotistical you are. you are so egotistical. you feel that everyone owes you something just because you think you deserve it. i don't think you're very patient. i don't think you're open minded or understanding. you always interrupt me. that shows me you don't care about anyone's thoughts but your own. i think when your mind is set no one can change it and you literally cannot comprehend the idea that other people's opinions may be correct if they are not the same as yours. "i don't feel that way how can it be true if i don't feel that way?" anorexics don't feel that they're skinny, is it not true that they are skinny?

[hearts4hughes]

hi congrats on your milestone!!!🫶🏻 could i request ❛ seeing you happy is all that matters. ❜ with luke hughes? thank you! :)

nora’s 500 celly !!

-

he watched discreetly as the love of his life walked into the small cafe. his body tensed as he tried to hide behind the small screen of his phone.

should be approach you?

your relationship with luke could be described as right person, wrong time. you and luke were perfect for each other. after meeting at a mutual friends party, you found yourselves chatting in the kitchen for most the night. at the end of the night, luke asked for your number, saying he’d like to go out with you. and that was the start to your love story.

sadly, you started dating during the beginning of his career as a new jersey devil. you went to all of his games and supported him through win or loss. but it wasn’t enough.

luke was constantly under stress and pressure from the team and the hundreds of fans supporting and watching him. they expected him to touch the ice and immediately turn into a hockey star. he was definitely gifted at the sport, but his impact in the nhl was something that would get bigger as his career progressed.

you tried explaining that to him. explaining that he went fresh out of college into a competitive sport, and that no one expected him to be amazing at it his first few games. however, he didn’t listen. he thought your words were out of pity, so he pushed you away.

he was out of the house almost everyday, coming home after midnight and making you worried sick and paranoid. at first, you thought he was cheating on you, but that was never the case. he was at the rink most nights, shooting pucks and skating around, something that he was almost embarrassed to admit.

soon it had gotten to the point when you didn’t care what luke was out doing. all that you knew was he didn’t care for you anymore, or at least he didn’t show it. so when he came clean about what he had been doing for all those late nights, it didn’t matter to you. you already had one foot out the door.

he knew he fucked up. god, he thought about it every night. if he had only showed you the love and care that you showed him, maybe you’d still be there. but he couldn’t turn back time.

fuck it, he thought as he left the comfort of his booth, and made his way over to you.

he stood in front of you, opening his mouth to say something, but the words caught in his throat. feeling the presence of someone, you look up from your phone.

“luke?” you sounded pleasantly surprised. he smiled, still tongue tied. “oh my god, it’s been so long.” he beamed, bringing him into a bear hug.

“yeah, it has been.” he agrees. “i’ve missed you.” he admits as his cheeks turn a red hue.

you smiled softly, “i have too.”

you weren’t lying. you had missed luke like crazy. you missed cheering for him at his games and spending time with your best friend, but you didn’t miss him in any other way than that.

“we should-” his sentence was interrupted by your phone ringing. you looked down at the screen, smiling before excusing yourself to answer it.

his face fell. he knew that look- that smile. it was the same smile you used to give him. the same smile he memorized in his mind because of how happy it made him. however, nothing about that smile made him happy when it was directed at someone other than him.

“hey, babe.” you said, pressing the phone to your ear.

and just like that, luke’s heart shattered. his breathing stopped and it felt like time as well.

your call was short. he found himself blocking out most of it. he couldn’t hear his girl talking to another man the way you once talked to him.

you said your goodbyes into the phone, giggling over something luke couldn’t hear, and hanging up. “sorry about that, what were you saying.” your cheeks were still rosy from the sweet nothings your lover had whispered into the phone.

“um, it’s nothing. don’t worry.” he mustered up his best fake smile, but you could see right through him.

you frowned. “are you ok, luke?”

“yes, why wouldn’t i be?” he answers a little too fast. he smiles once again, but the shimmer that was once in his eyes, was lost. “seeing you happy is all that matters.”

“you can always talk to me, lukey. i want you to know that.” you reassure, comfortingly putting your hand on his shoulder.

he only nods in response.

“well, i have to get going, but it was nice to see you again.”

and just like that, luke watches the love of his life leave- once again.

[depressos-world]

He says something hurtful during an argument

Jungkook:

you looked up from your book to look at the clock it read 1:30 am and your boyfriend still wasn't home. you knew he was overworking himself again you sighed as you closed your book and picked up your phone to call jungkook and tell him it was time to come home. you were to hit the call button when you heard the door open you got up from the couch and turned to see your boyfriend walking into the living room.

"what are you doing up?" he asked annoyed, you were taken aback by the tone of his voice but you let it slide "it's 1 in the morning kook where have you been?" jungkook sighed at your question . "I told you I had practice with the guys" you rolled your eyes at his statement "that was hours ago and I'm pretty sure the guys left as soon practice was over" jungkook was getting upset all he wants to do is go to sleep with you next to him. "I stayed later to practice some more but I'm home now can we just go to bed" you scoffed at his response "no we need to talk about this kook you are over working yourself again!" you didn't mean to raise your voice but you were just tired of having this conversation with him. you understood that he needs to get ready for their big come back but at the same time he also needs to rest and take care of himself so why couldn't he understand that.

jungkook tried to bite his tongue but with him being exhausted and stressed about the big comeback and now to you nagging him over and over he just couldn't hold it in any longer. "oh my god will you just shut up! you don't even know what is like to have this much pressure on you and have to train for hours to the point you are fucking exhausted and hurting and then come home to someone nagging you as soon you walk into the damn door it's irritating" what he said hurt you but held back the tears "I'm just worried about you" before you could say anything else jungkook scoffed at your response "then stop worrying! I am okay! so what is there to worry about I don't need your fucking pity. you are so fucking obsessive it is annoying! God for once I would like to fucking breath and not feel suffocated" you couldn't believe what you were hearing. you thought you were being a good girlfriend but instead you were just making jungkook miserable and making him feel suffocated. you tried to hold back the tears but you just couldn't.

The anger in jungkook immediately went away when he saw the tears rolling down face. He didn't mean any of the things he said he was just tired and frustrated he loved that you cared for him so he doesn't know why he said such horrible things to you. "(y/n)" jungkook tried to think of things to say to make up for the things he had said to you but his mind is blank. you turned to walk to the bedroom but jungkook grabbed you before you could go any any further. "jagi please, I'm so sorry I didn't mean any of the things I said" jungkook pulled you closer to him and tighten his arms around you so you couldn't go anywhere. "if you didn't mean it then why did you say it" you said in between sobs. you tried to control the tears but they wouldn't stop.

junkooks heart ached hearing you cry because of him "I didn't mean any of it I swear, I love you jagi I was just frustrated. I know that's no excuse for me to say the things I said but I really do love that care for me and you're right I should take it easy and not overwork myself" It was silent for a minute jungkook was waiting for you to say something but you couldn't think of anything to say you were drained and tired you were just ready to go to bed. "can we just go bed and talk about this in the morning" you said looking up at him jungkook nodded at your request "yeah of course" you turned to walk to the bedroom and jungkook followed behind you "and you owe a lot of cuddles" you said. jungkook smiled at your demands for cuddles "you can have all of the cuddles you want jagi"

[theslut4smut]

𝗺𝘆 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘆𝗼𝘂 | 𝗵𝘄𝗮𝗻𝗴 𝗵𝘆𝘂𝗻𝗷𝗶𝗻

𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗴𝗼𝗿𝘆: the fluffiest of SMUT >:)

𝗱𝗲𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗶𝗽𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻: hyunjin becomes very upset over readers insecurities and has a bit of an outburst

𝗶𝗻𝗰𝗹𝘂𝗱𝗲𝘀: afab reader, insecure reader, mentions of starving ones self, established relationship, non idol au, piv, no protection, emotional sex, crying, mushy

𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲𝘀: i… ˡᵒᵛᵉ hyunjin 🥺

_____________________________________

you wrapped yourself in the fuzzy wool blanket that decorated your sofa, letting yourself sink into the soft material.

today was one of those days.

one of those days where you despised every aspect about yourself.

one of those days where you wanted to shut out the world and wallow in self pity and sadness.

one of those days where you couldn’t even fathom how on earth your absolute god of a boyfriend could find you desirable in any way.

low self esteem was nothing new to you.

though it’s been much better since getting into a relationship with hyunjin, it never really went away.

you couldn’t count how many times hyunjin had helped you through these moments before.

how many times he could rid your mind of all the horrible thoughts that plagued it.

he was so good at it too.

placing soft and delicate kisses on your temple as he whispered words of affirmation into your ear, stroking your y/h/c locks out of your face with one hand before wiping the tears that stained your cheeks with the other.

he was just like the movies. a prince charming. the perfect lover.

you couldn’t hope or wish for anything better.

“hi, baby. you sleepy?”

your thoughts are interrupted as you turn to look at your boyfriend.

you hum softly at him. 

“well you can’t go to bed before dinner. i worked so hard on it as you can smell.” he made a dramatic face as he wafted the air.

dinner.

absolutely not.

you were notorious for depriving yourself of food in moments like this. you felt unworthy of nourishing your body. and you knew that eating would only give you another thing to criticize yourself for.

you smile weakly at him, “that’s okay, love. i’m a bit too tired.”

hyunjin’s soft expression turned to one of confusion.

“that’s what you said for breakfast… and then lunch.”

fuck

of course he was amazing at comforting you when the days of insecurity came, but it didn’t mean that you wanted it.

hyunjin was an extremely emotional man. he had a tender and sensitive heart with a fiery and passionate soul. when you were hurt, he was hurt.

it took everything in him not to cry with you all those times before.

despite his natural emotions, he despised showing them.

he hated being vulnerable.

hated looking “weak” to anyone.

he wanted to be your protection, your savior, your rock.

you knew all of this. and that’s why you tried everything in your power to hide how you were feeling.

you wanted to spare him of that mental and emotional battle he’d have with himself.

you opened your mouth to speak, but nothing came out.

there was nothing to say.

no way to get yourself out of this.

“y/n… please don’t do this to yourself again.” he breathed out deeply as he slightly turned away.

“hyunjin, i’m not-”

“stop.” his voice was stern.

you bit your lip as you stayed silent.

at this point, his back was facing you as his hands were placed on his hips.

nothing but the sound of both of you breathing filled the apartment.

should i say something? you think to yourself.

but you knew it’d only make him more upset.

you had no excuse for not eating.

no reason that was valid to hyunjin anyway. you were aware that he couldn’t possibly understand how you could view yourself in a negative light.

and you knew he didn’t mean to be so dismissive whenever you tried to explain your “flaws” to him, but it was obvious he couldn’t help it.

the things that you saw as wrong about yourself were all the things that he adored.

“come eat, y/n.” he says, breaking the silence as he walks into the kitchen and begins preparing a plate.

you’ve sat yourself up by now, nervously picking at your nails.

you know how this is going to turn out. you know how broken it’ll leave hyunjin if you refuse to eat.

but you can’t move yourself from the spot you’re in.

you just can’t.

“y/n,” he starts, turning around, “you need to come eat, now.”

“hyunjin-” you manage to squeak out.

“there is no reason that you should not eat this food. you haven’t eaten anything today. i need you to come sit at this table with me and eat the food that i’ve made for you.”

you exhaled a shaky breath that you hadn’t even realized you were holding in, feeling tears sting your eyes as your heart began to race.

“i just- i just don’t want it.”

a loud crash is heard throughout the apartment as hyunjin slams the glass plate onto the counter, causing it to shatter.

a slight gasp slips past your lips as you take in this completely new and out of character reaction.

“why do you hurt yourself like this, y/n?!” he’s facing the kitchen as he aggressively rubs onto his temples.

“what do i have to do to show you how absolutely perfect you are in every way? what do i need to do to let you see yourself through my eyes? have you hear my endless thoughts about you? what can i provide to make you not want to deprive yourself of the food you deserve to eat despite what your mind tells you? despite how you think your body looks.”

your eyes widen once hearing a sniffle from him.

he was crying.

you made him cry.

hyunjin was upset because of you.

he turned around and quickly grabbed his keys, giving you a slight glimpse of his pink and tear stained face before storming out.

you heart shattered into a million pieces as you sat there.

in your years together with hyunjin, you had never seen him cry like that.

and knowing that you were the one to cause it was so, unbearably painful.

you made your way over to the mess your boyfriend had left, dropping to your knees as you began to pick everything up.

he was probably sick of this. sick of having to remind you how beautiful you are. sick of having to remind you to eat. sick of the late nights with you cradled in his arms as you cry your little heart out onto his chest while he tells you that your imperfections are perfections to him.

you closed your eyes, sobs escaping your lips as you were no longer able to suppress the emotions that were bubbling up inside.

he’s done so much for you.

you felt so selfish for not getting better. for not trying to think of yourself in a positive way like he was teaching you.

he’s been so, incredibly patient with you through it all and this is how you show him gratitude? by starting back at square one every couple of months?

he was giving you his all and you were failing him.

your feet dragged across the smooth floor as you made your way towards yours and hyunjin’s shared bedroom.

you shut out all of the lights before crawling into bed, slipping under the duvet as your mind continued to viciously attack you with self-deprecating thoughts.

the ache in your heart was too much to bear. you wouldn’t be surprised if that was hyunjin’s last straw with you. he had never had a reaction as intense as that one over anything and you knew that that couldn’t have been good.

more hot tears slipped down your cheeks as you laid in the darkness before slowly drifting to sleep.

~

“angel, angel.”

you squint and groan as the bright light emitting from the lamp stings your eyes.

“wake up, baby.”

once your eyes adjust, a happy yet emotional smile spreads itself across your face.

“hyunjin?” you say as you grab onto his forearm.

he replaces your hand with his before tilting his head to the side and smiling softly at you.

“i brought you something.” he speaks quietly and calmly.

you furrow your brows at him as he reaches to the nightstand behind you.

“here.”

in front of you is a bouquet of your favorite flowers and a container with a single cupcake of your preferred flavor.

you take the items, giving hyunjin a look of confusion, “what’s this for?”

he heaves a sigh, looking down at the ground.

“what i did… was absolutely unacceptable.” his eyes remain fixed on the ground.

you’re suddenly brought back to what happened earlier, that wave of guilt and sadness quickly washing over you once again.

“oh, it- it’s fine, hyunjin.” you respond as you shrug and put his gifts back on the nightstand.

“no.” he takes your face into both of his hands, making you look at him, “do not excuse that kind of behavior. it doesn’t matter how upset i was. i had no right to react that way.”

“but,” the tears began to pour without warning, “i hurt you.”

hyunjin shakes his head, “hurt me? you could never hurt me, angel. it’s my job to be a shoulder for you to lean on. i promised to protect you and look after you. no matter how bad things could ever get. i’m supposed to help you through those hard times. work towards healing you, not lash out over how you’re feeling. i hurt you.”

you could do nothing but blink your teary eyes back at him, trying to take in the amazing man in front of you and wonder how you got so lucky.

he leans in, pressing his forehead against yours, “i don’t want you to brush off what happened or accept that kind of reaction ever again. all that i ask is that you forgive me and allow me to love you through not only your brightest moments, but the darkest ones too.”

he thumbed a fresh tear away, looking deep within your eyes, “can you do that for me, baby?”

you nodded, still trying to take everything in.

the next thing you knew, hyunjin’s lips were on your neck, causing your breath to hitch before you whined against his ear.

“shh. it’s okay, baby.” he whispers deeply, gently pushing you onto your back.

he raises your his shirt, admiring your body with nothing but adoration behind his eyes.

you let out a soft whimper before placing a hand over your exposed chest.

hyunjin shakes his head, bringing his face close to yours, “it’s just me, baby. you don’t have to be shy.”

he places both your arms at your side, pressing them down into the mattress, restricting you from moving them.

soft whimpers from you fill the room as hyunjin kisses from your neck, to your chest, down your abdomen, all over your tummy, and finally, your thighs.

you involuntarily spread your legs for him, already huffing and panting at what was to come.

he giggles at your eagerness before beginning to leave soft pecks around your special spot, humming to himself as he did.

right now wasn’t the time to be slow or gentle. you couldn’t handle the teasing and touches that caused your heart rate to quicken but were never enough to get you to where you wanted to be.

it was usually fun and made the experience so much more sentimental for the both of you, but you couldn’t tonight.

you needed him now.

just as you were about to plea to your lover, he engulfs your heat with his mouth, causing your back to arch as you moan out in pleasure.

stars blur your vision as he ravishes you. and though he’s only begun making you feel good, you feel yourself getting closer and closer to your peak already.

you try to push his head away, but your little wiggles and tugs are no match for the strong grip of his hands on your wrists.

he takes notice before smirking at you while he continues to devour you.

“h-hyunji-” you’re cut off mid-sentence as another moan rips through your throat.

“i know, baby.” he says, sucking at your puffy and sensitive clit, “it’s okay.”

he puts your wrists together before holding them against your tummy with one hand and reaching down with the other.

you cry out as he places two digits inside of you, continuing the movements of his tongue as he does.

your moans grow louder and louder, not a single care in the world who they disturb. this was your time. your special moment with the man you love and you didn’t give a fuck who had a problem with it.

you feel yourself beginning to pulsate around his fingers. and just before you get your sweet release, he pulls away.

you whine and thrust your hips up into the air.

“not yet, baby.” he says, standing on his knees as he lowers his pants, the bulge in his underwear very prominent.

your mouth was basically watering as he removed his bottoms completely, revealing his cock that was hard and an angry shade of pink.

it was like it got more beautiful every time.

he giggles sweetly at your gaze before caressing your cheek.

you hum and rub your face into his palm.

“are you ready, angel?” he asks softly.

you slightly bite your lip, nodding.

his licks his own before spreading your legs even further and raising them to your chest.

he presses himself on top of you before intertwining your fingers together, placing kisses on the back of your hands.

he looks into your eyes as he places his tip at your entrance and pushes in, causing your mouth to gape as a gasp slips out.

hyunjin grits his teeth as he goes deeper and deeper inside of you.

you squeeze onto his hands as he bottoms out, whimpers falling from your lips.

“baby.” you moan so soft and sweetly.

it never stopped feeling like the first time. his large length filling you so deliciously, its veins catching onto every curve of your walls, making your stomach twist and turn as you savored every inch of him.

he presses his lips against yours before bringing his hips back and finally thrusting into you.

you moan into his mouth as he continues to give you those deep strokes.

the sound of your wetness around him is enough to make both you and hyunjin feel light headed.

all you can think of at this moment is how much you love this man. how special he is and how cherished you feel as his girlfriend. how the intimate moments like this feel a thousand times better because there’s love instead of lust involved.

you appreciate him. and you love him so much more. the thought of a life without him was something you couldn’t even fathom. where would you be without him? who would you be without him?

his love making felt so, unbelievably good.

you weren’t entirely sure why. it was for a number of reasons. you weren’t sure if it was the emotional side of it all. the tears that left your face a sticky and pink mess. or maybe it was the way hyunjin stared into your eyes with an almost sparkle-like shine in his, making you feel so loved, seen, and as if you belonged to him.

or maybe it was just that.

you’re hyunjin’s, and hyunjin is yours.

even more hot tears begin to race down your cheeks, causing hyunjin to disconnect your lips.

but he’s not alarmed. he knows you’re just overwhelmed. you’re feeling a lot of emotions and you’re not well right now.

but that’s okay. because that’s what he’s here for. to heal you and be your escape from whatever troubles you.

he presses your sweaty foreheads together.

“you’re so beautiful, y/n” he pants, picking up the speed of his thrusts and causing you to moan as the tears fall at a more rapid pace.

“inside and out. you’re gorgeous. i don’t care how hard things get. i’ll always be here for you. i will always protect and cherish you. and i don’t care how many times i have to remind you of your perfection. i could never get tired of showing you how precious you are to me. i love you so much. i’m in love with you, y/n.”

without any warning, your orgasm explodes deep inside you, cries and moans filling the room as you thrash your body around beneath him.

your reaction causes him to let out a deep groan before spilling himself inside of you.

he grabs onto either side of your face as you ride out your highs together, his heart swelling at the sight of you feeling so good because of him.

once you’re back to your normal state, panting and breathing heavily, loud sobs begin to escape you.

hyunjin bites his lip as he fights back his own before wrapping himself tightly around you.

you begin to babble incoherent words to your boyfriend, only to be stopped by his lips pressing tenderly against your own, “shh. it’s okay, baby.” he whispers as he pulls away.

“i-i love you, hyunjin.” you cry to him, your vision blurry with tears.

he smiles sweetly as he pushes sweaty locks out of your face with delicate fingers.

“and i love you.”

he releases all of his weight on top of you, making you feel so warm and safe.

the two of you stay in one another’s embrace for who knows how long, caressing the other’s hair and whatever body part that was in reach, the sound of both of you humming and breathing heavily being the only sound to fill the room.

it was the moments like this that kept you holding on. the moments like this made you realize that it all wasn’t as bad as you sometimes made it. that no matter how horrible you felt about yourself, there would always be this sweet and loveable doofus who cherished the very ground that you walk on and all that you do.

hyunjin was your safe space and you couldn’t be happier. he knew how to take away all of the bad and bring you back down to reality no matter how deep in your thoughts you got.

everything that he strived to be for you was exactly what he was.

“you want your cupcake now?” hyunjin asks, breaking the silence.

you laugh loudly at his cute eyebrow raise and slight smirk.

“i think you want my cupcake.”

he shrugs, “look at it. that’s a yummy looking cupcake. expensive too. see how it’s got the pretty bow wrapped on it and a fancy wrapper? i went luxury for you.” he says, tickling the side of your neck, causing a high pitched squeal to escape your lips.

“okay!” you say, pushing his hand away, “we can eat the stupid fancy cupcake.”

he smiles before grabbing it, causing you to wince as you realize that he still hasn’t pulled out of you.

and knowing him; he had no plan of doing so.

he places the container on your tummy, opening it and feeding you the first bite.

“mm” you hum, closing your eyes.

he giggles, “it’s good?”

“very.”

he takes his own bite before nodding his head, “delicious.”

you continue eating the treat until hyunjin says your name, his playful expression turning into a more serious one.

you raise an eyebrow before letting out a, “hmm?”

“i saw that you cleaned up the mess i made.” a disappointed look decorated his face, “i’m not happy about that. that was for me to do, not you.”

you giggled softly, holding the side of his face as you caressed his cheek with your thumb, “it’s just what we do for each other, hyunjin. it’s alright.”

he grabbed your hand and kissed its palm tenderly, “you could have hurt yourself.”

“awe, baby. you’re too sweet for your own good.”

the two of you giggle together.

“oh… y/n?”

you sigh playfully, “yes, hyunjin.”

“um… do you actually think the cupcake is stupid?”

“oh my god!” you roll your eyes and smack his chest, laughing loudly.

“what?! that’s what you said!” he gave you an exaggerated pout.

you pulled him on top of you, wrapping your arms around his neck, “no. the cupcake was not stupid, hyunjin. it was very sweet and thoughtful of you. i wish i could understand why you care for me so much.”

his brown eyes melted into yours as he shook his head slightly, his cock now becoming soft inside of you.

“how could i not? my love for you is deeper than the ocean.”