#andrew helping kevin get ready to move on without him

[sunriseabram]

If we get an andrew minyard pov at any point you will never hear me talk about anything else

[300foxholecourtt]

No Orgasms for Exy’s Sake

silly smutty kandrew nonsense

It was the middle of the night, middle of the early dawn morning, when Kevin woke and stumbled to the bathroom. He was bleary eyes as he scrubbed his face and peed. There was no sense in waking all the way up but he couldn’t handle the possibility of almost falling down the stairs again. He was hard. The combination of the denial plus the dream had him ready to go. Sighing, he pushed down on the front of his shorts. Somehow, he never knew how, Andrew would know. The game would be up soon. It had to be. He just had to hold out a little longer and then he would be fine.

A tap on the door startled him. Kevin moved to open it but the handle was held tight.

“Sit pretty for me.” Andrew’s voice was rough with sleep. The half-hardness turned to full blown at the sound. Pavlovian, kevin couldn’t help but come to attention whenever he heard the rasping his boyfriend’s voice.

The floor was cold against his knees but he was there. It hadn’t taken any cohesive thought to get there, his body working on its own.

“Is that pretty enough?” Derision was in his voice. Kevin blushed and ripped his shirt off. It was a toss up whether Andrew wanted to see his ass or face. It was the middle of the night. Kevin went for the former, shuffling around on the rug by the sink until he was facing the shower. The silence stretched on and he blushed again.

It was harder to get his shorts off.

Harder still to swallow the last of his lingering pride and lean forward so his weight was on his elbow, ass in the air. He shifted again, pulling his ass apart and wiggling. His balls hung tight and heavy between his spread legs. Knees apart, feet together. He breathed into his clasped hands, trying to steady himself.

“Good boy,” Andrew rumbled. “Stay, and you’ll see if there’s a present outside the door in the morning.”

Kevin moaned, sinking further into his hands. Stay until morning? The praise felt weak and echoed through his empty chest. Andrew hadn’t even opened the door to see him.

—

Andrew stumbled back to bed, trusting himself to find his way without turning on any of the lights. The present for Kevin was cruel. A beautiful box with a pretty bow. Inside, on a cheap faux-velvet cushion, was a cock cage.

It would be near impossible for Kevin to put it on alone. Even worse if he needed someone else’s help. Too bad.

It was Kevin’s fault for reading the article about how some Olympian did celibacy and chastity before the games to score better. Andrew preferred to have Kevin’s come down his throat over stuck inside, but this was what he wanted. Andrew wasn’t going to turn down the chance to edge Kevin anytime he felt like it.

—

He was good.

He was so fucking good, and if he didn’t get a massage out of staying like this for three hours he was going to riot.

The sun crept across the room from the small bathroom window. Groaning, Kevin slowly unfolded himself from the floor. He rubbed his aching arms, stretched up to the ceiling. Everything popped.

—-

Again, Andrew curled his fingers inside Kevin. The man was openly weeping above him, gasping for breath that Andrew was never going to give him. He hadn’t realized how much fun this would be. While he couldn’t get the satisfaction of a boneless and sleepy post-orgasm Kevin, he got the benefit of a weeping cock ready for him at all times.

It was only two days in and he hadn’t been denied a single time he asked Kevin if he could have him.

Blowing him over the cold metal wasn’t quite the same, but Andrew was getting better at it. He loved hearing the response from his boyfriend. It was almost better this way, because there was no relief. Only his shaking thighs and white-knuckled fingers holding desperately onto anything he could. Andrew was nice, sometimes. He let him run his fingers through his hair if he had been particularly good. This was Kevin, after all, his little barnacle who couldn’t go more than a few hours without gluing himself to Andrew’s side. His desperate slut. His good boy, as he told him constantly.

“Shh, shh,” Andrew crooned, leaning up so he could kiss Kevin’s swollen lips while he crooked his fingers again, “you’re welcome to come if you can. But you don’t want to, do you?”

Kevin whined, shaking his head. Andrew knew what he was getting at, but he needed to make sure. Moments of clarity meant he worried Kevin wasn’t being honest with him. Wasn’t having fun, even if the noises were right.

“You want this,” Andrew stated, waiting until Kevin nodded to move his fingers again. “You want me to wreck you again and again, right? Yes or no, Kevin.”

“Yes, Andrew,” Kevin gasped. His shoulders shook with the effort of not touching. He wasn’t allowed to. Hands on the pillow he clutched to his chest, the tiny rectangle a shitty substitute for anywhere else his hands could rest. Andrew didn’t like that it obscured his view but he knew what his needy lover needed. Asking him not to touch himself when he wasn’t allowed to touch Andrew was too much. Especially since Andrew already reprimanded him for shoving his hands over his mouth to muffle his sounds.

“Good boy,” Andrew purred. He placed a chaste kiss on Kevin’s lips. “I’m going to actually open you up, now.”

“Yes, yes, want- want you to fuck me,” Kevin groaned, his hips lifting off the couch without any instruction. Andrew buried his face in Kevin’s shoulder. He nipped at the muscle there, not trusting himself to look into Kevin’s face. He’d smile. He could feel the want on his lips, his cheeks. It never truly happened anymore but Andrew could feel his body attempting it.

“Head off the armrest,” Andrew instructed. It was a pornographic position for his pretty princess. Kevin’s face showed his distaste for it. Andrew was not going to let him watch Andrew when he couldn’t even come. It would give Kevin too much insight into him with no orgasm to blind his memory. The blonde pinched the inside of his thigh. Kevin yelped, pouting as he headed towards the side of it and flipped over so his ass was perfectly presented.

He crossed his arms over the rest and turned his face petulantly to Andrew.

“Spoiled,” Andrew muttered as he smoothed his hands over the gorgeous body in front of him. More lube was added to his fingers but he couldn’t bring himself to skip warming it up no matter how much he wanted to be petty.

Kevin opened beautifully for him. Between Andrew’s tongue and fingers, he had the striker shaking all over again. The resting cock was red and pushing against the bars. It was a delicious sight. Feeling proud of himself, Andrew dipped his head down to suck on one ball at a time.

“Andrew,” Kevin keened, shifting his hips backwards in desperation. Andrew could hear the tears. Curious, he draped himself over Kevin’s back. He mouthed at his shoulder, neck, and jaw. There was a thin line of salty tears going down each cheek. Delicious.

“Yes, babydoll?” The shudder that went through Kevin betrayed more than his bossy mouth ever could. Andrew was surprised he didn’t come. He normally needed some stimulation but he had enough edging these past few days. Maybe that could be Andrew’s game for all this.

“I want you to fuck me,” Kevin pouted, turning his head towards Andrew’s. He was searching for a kiss. Who was Andrew to deny him such a small thing?

“And I want you,” Andrew trailed off while he sat up. Much as he’d like to poke at Kevin, he didn’t want to lie. He didn’t want Kevin to shut up or stop whining. He wanted him to be worse. He wanted the Kevin that desperately needed him, he needed the Kevin that couldn’t exist without him.

“Yes?” Kevin prompted when it went on too long. There was a bit of panic, that wouldn’t do. Andrew slid his hand up and down his lower back.

“I want you to squeeze that pretty ass around me,” Andrew finished. He removed his hands so he could lube up the condom. Kevin didn’t want him to wear one, but that was only because edged Kevin was a slut. The normal Kevin would be horrified by the mess and Andrew couldn’t handle it. Thoughts of the past tried to flit their way into his head.

Kevin’s pretty ass wiggled in front of him, effectively closing any memories off. Andrew sank into his boyfriend in one smooth go. The perks of this continued- he was so ready for him.

“You’re doing so well, babydoll,” Andrew sighed. He pulled back and then thrust forward, losing himself in the feel of Kevin Day so perfectly taut around him.

—-

Kevin fiddled with the key around his neck. From the start, Andrew was adamant that Kevin be the one to hold the key. He promised he’d unlock Kevin when he wanted out, but he couldn’t walk away with it in hand. A simple chain was the answer. It fit under everything Kevin owned and right now it was the perfect thing to handle while he listened to the meeting go on and on.

He shot up when it was over, halfway out the door before Jeremy bounced up to him.

“Hey, Kev,” the faux blonde smiled up at him, “those new plays look really good at practice. Think you’re gonna pull them out at the game next week?”

“Not on the opening game,” Kevin replied, curbing his media smile for a true one. This was Jeremy, and he deserved the real Kevin. Plus he’d call him out if he tried to use the fake one. “I want to wait until we get a feel for the season.”

Damn the Sunshine King for praising his game right now. Kevin needed to see Andrew. He needed to sit on folded thighs and choke around his boyfriend or he was going to go mad. Jeremy’s praise meant it was working. The damn plan was working so who was he to stop it?

His hand was up on his key again. Mindless, he twisted it around and around.

“What’s that?” Jeremy asked, having continued to talk about Kevin’s game while the man himself was lost in thought.

Kevin’s blush started on the sides of his face and worked towards his nose, jaw, throat- he hoped Jeremy didn’t know a single thing about this.

“Oh,” the man smiled, eyes twinkling, “did Andrew finally get you one of those locking desks? We’ve been looking for ages, trying to find a proper antique one. You would not believe the state of particle board,” he continued on as if Kevin wasn’t touching the key to his own detection right now.

Kevin tried to come back to the idea- Andrew was shopping for him? Andrew was asking Jeremy for help?

Somehow, the warm and fuzzy feeling spreading through him had nothing at all to do with arousal.

[inconsequentialliving]

I need more fics of the foxes just bonding (without Andrew and Neil)

My imagination is no longer enough

I just know in my heart of hearts that Aaron and Matt become friends living together. They bond over their past substance abuse. Matt offers to teach Aaron how to fight which he eventually accepts (that’s low key how he starts hanging out with Neil).

Dan comes over a lot and one time, when Matt steps out for a second, they start talking about Matt. Laughing at some of his “Matt-ism.” Dan talks to Aaron about Katelyn and it’s the first time he’s had a chance to talk to a woman about his relationship and he subtlety (not so subtlety) ask for advice.

Next is Nicky when he moves into their dorm. Nicky helps Matt get ready for dates with Dan (unbeknownst to Matt, Dan also asks Nicky for advice). Renee heads over and finally Allison relents.

Allison and Nicky quickly start talking about Neil’s HORRIBLE fashion sense and it’s like a dam breaks. They actually start hanging out without any of the others. Sometimes getting coffee and talking about their no good parents. Slowly Allison stops referring to them as Monsters.

Kevin gets kicked out of his room a lot (mostly by Andrew because him and Neil won’t stop talking about Exy (and sometimes for other reasons)). He usually goes to the boys room, but one time Aaron and Katelyn were “occupying” it so he is forced to go to the girls room.

He thought it would be awkward with Dan given the whole “father/father figure” thing, but when the subject of Wymack comes up, Dan joking says “oh by the way - does that make us kind of like siblings?” Everyone laughs - but Kevin can’t stop thinking about it. A sibling? The closest he had was Riko - Dan would certainly be an improvement.

They never really talk about it again - but an unspoken “siblingship” forms. With Kevin even admitting that she would make a great coach.

Kevin, Allison, and Renee become close hanging out in the common room when they are all exiled from their rooms. Kevin never really paid much attention to Allison’s “story” before. But, hearing it again reminds him how much Allison gave up to play and he watches her on the court more and more. Soon he offers to help her improve. She scoffs at first, but warms up to the idea. When she makes it pro - one of the first people she thanks is Kevin.

Part 1 complete

Part 2 will be a moment

[kevindayscrown]

The one where Kevin Day falls in love with an ice hockey player.

Part 2 All for the (wrong) game

Anything included in this head canon takes place the semester after the Foxes won the championship against the Ravens.

Disclaimer: I know next to nothing about varsity teams in the United States so excuse any false information. Don’t try to read this without having read the Introduction and Part 1 or you won’t understand shit.

As expected, it was a disaster.

Well, not for everyone, but certainly for Kevin.

Bryce tried to briefly explain the rules of the game. Despite looking quite similar to Exy, it turned out that it wasn’t. Not in the slightest.

Positions were different but seeing as Kevin is an offensive, he remained one in that case too. Allison and Dan joined him. Matt and Aaron, of course, went on defense and Renee guarded their goal.

Admittedly, Allison did most of the job, considering Kevin could barely balance himself on skates. At every body check, he would fall either on his ass or flat on his stomach. He doubted he got possession of the puck for even ten seconds.

It was infuriating. All the other foxes seemed to be getting the hang of it, even managing a few goals thanks to Allison. Of course, the ice hockey players went easy on them, but even then, Kevin could hardly manage to move fast enough to get the puck or to shoot it.

He was sure that by the next day, he would have several bruises, either from all the falling or from the rough body checks.

“This is ridiculous,” he finally said after Eric stopped his only attempt at scoring.

“Why? Because you aren’t good at it? Life’s like that sometimes, Day. Not that you would know.”

This wasn’t unexpected, but it still took Kevin by surprise. He narrowed his eyes at the goaltender.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“You live in your own bubble. Exy above everything else. It’s probably the only thing you are good at. Anything outside of that bubble is beyond you. Guess what, though. Apparently, you are not the god you think you are.”

Everyone around them tried to pretend as if they weren’t hearing, but of course they were.

“What would you know, Jiang? You have barely managed to get the attention of the people. Hell, I don’t even know that much about you to begin with. However, you seem to have already made up your mind about me. Is it because you are jealous?”

Whatever Eric’s teammates said to hold him back did not work. He slid across the rink to get to Kevin, who wasn’t even fast enough to attempt to turn around and slide away.

This body check was meant to hurt, Kevin could tell.

He was suddenly pinned against the boards, feeling Eric’s weight trapping him. It was also the only thing keeping him from slipping yet again.

“Do not assume you know anything about me, Day. Perhaps today will serve as a nice lesson for you. You are not as untouchable as you think you are.”

Kevin ended up pushing Eric hard enough that both of them stumbled and fell on the ice. Or rather, Eric’s body served as pillow. Kevin grunted, his annoyance only growing as he pushed himself up, only to slip again. He wanted nothing more but to remove the skates and leave the rink.

Eric managed to get himself up first. Despite Kevin’s protests and their semi violent fight, he helped him up too. Kevin knew better than to try pushing him away again and simply managed to glide across the ice and get off the rink.

Kevin felt Neil’s eyes on him even before he looked up and saw the redhead standing there, ready to take his turn on the ice.

Neil said nothing, though the hint of a grin on his lips was enough for Kevin to send a glare his way.

Didn’t help that Neil proved to be a natural.

It took him a bit at first, sure. But when he got the hang of it?

He moved on ice as if he had been practicing all day.

It was unusual to see such a small player among the other bears but Neil was almost perfectly elusive on his skates. He even managed to score a couple of times against Eric.

Kevin turned away and sat on a bench, trying to untie the laces and all the straps of his skates. His annoyance and frustration did nothing to help him.

The teams changed their lineups and Andrew along with Nicky, replaced Renee and Aaron. The ice hockey players also took turns.

Eric wasn’t sure why, but he felt bad.

It wasn’t the first time he had said something harsh to Kevin, with the difference that now, it felt as if he had crossed some sort of line.

He noticed Kevin attempting to remove his skates still and pulled off his helmet. He sat on the bench and patted his knee.

“Let me help you.”

Kevin stared at him for a moment, but his pride had been wounded enough that he gave in more easily than usual.

Eric pulled Kevin’s leg up on his thigh and started the process of untying the laces and undoing the straps.

“Look, I think we both got out of line.”

The first skate slipped off his foot and a cold wave made Kevin shiver.

“Was that not the point? To make fools out of the Exy team?”

“You know what I mean, Day.”

Kevin had to straddle the bench so that Eric could pick up his other foot.

“No. I don’t. You’ve never apologized before. You’ve never held your punches. I don’t know why you are doing it now, but I don’t fucking care. You told me to not make assumptions about you when you’d done exactly that.”

Eric could had guessed he had crossed some line before, but this seemed way more personal.

“I didn’t make an assumption. It was more of a guess. And from the way you reacted, it seems that I stroke a nerve. So what is it Day? Are you really on a high horse or are you your own worst critic?”

Kevin stared at the rink and at the foxes, his foxes, laughing as they fell on their asses, seemingly having the best time of their lives.

Instead of answering the question, he said:

“Teach me.”

It was the first time Kevin saw Eric being taken aback.

“Teach you what?”

“How to skate.”

There was a small silence as Eric slipped the last skate off and put it down next to the other.

Kevin waited either to be told to fuck off or for Eric to ask for something in return.

Instead, the goaltender smiled – a genuine smile – and said:

“When do we start?”

[ninyard]

Could you write something with a Nicky & Kevin friendship or just supporting each other, set at any point during the series

you know what anon I don’t think I’ve ever genuinely thought about Nicky n Kevin’s friendship before ?? But! What a fantastic friendship it is!!!! I think there’s a pretty pivotal moment in the series of their relationship, but obligatory CW for The Raven King Chapter 11 (the thanksgiving dinner) before we get into it

First of all I think when Kevin first arrived in PSU, and when he was staying with Abby, still healing his broken hand, Nicky was the only fox except for Andrew who visited him regularly? Even Andrew didn’t really “visit” at that point, but Nicky was the only one who pro-actively wanted to see how Kevin was doing, instead of asking Wymack or Abby or gossiping between the team. It was probably in part because Nicky LOVES breaking a good story, but mostly it was because of the fact Nicky is such a genuinely kind person? He knew how alone Kevin must’ve felt after being essentially banished from his “family”, with no future in sight or a will to live, really. So Nicky showed up. He always brought a gift, and even though Kevin didn’t really speak much and really seemed to hate Nickys fast, drama-filled way of speaking, he never told Nicky to leave.

When Andrew came along and took Kevin under his wing, that kind of drove a wedge in between any semblance of relationship they could’ve had. It was Andrew And Kevin, and that was it. Andrew didn’t see a point in leaving room for Nicky in that. But Kevin never forgot what Nicky did for him, and even though they’re practically opposite types of people, Kevin and Nicky never had beef, like literally ever. Nicky tried flirting seriously with him once, but Kevin scrunched up his nose and shook his head and for the first time Nicky didn’t persist. They really just had this unspoken respect for each other, but their relationship was never really much more than that. Whereas Kevin’s relationship with Andrew was a joined-by-the-hip kind of deal, Kevin and Nicky more so looked out for each other in the smallest ways. When Nicky sprained his wrist during practice the end of freshman year, Kevin was there for him to show him the best ways to move it to build his strength back up and to take care of it so it could heal properly. When Nicky was struggling with some type of homework on the bus to a game, Kevin would peek over his shoulder and nonchalantly point out the answers. When Kevin was starting to play again, Nicky always offered to play defence to help him regain his strength against an opponent.

But you know, as soon as you mention Nicky and Kevin my head INSTANTLY goes to the aftermath of Chapter 11 in TRK. Like, Kevin had to go downstairs after finding that situation, and presumably Nicky had no real idea. So Nicky looks in the Kitchen window, while talking to his mom about nothing, and he sees Neil and Aaron head out of the kitchen. He watches Kevin follow. It’s not long before Luther is back outside with a look on his face that says nothing good, and then Nicky sees Kevin. He’s on the phone, chewing at his fingernails, face white like he’d seen a ghost. He leaves the table, overhearing Kevin reciting his parents’ address and they lock eyes when he enters the room. Kevin’s eyebrows are knitted together like he’s about to cry. He puts a hand out when Nicky tries to push past him. It takes him a minute to hang up, and suddenly Nicky’s heart is racing and he’s desperate to go upstairs. Kevin can’t find the words.

“Andrew’s hurt.” The words don’t do it justice. It feels like a lie coming out his mouth. “Nicky,” he tries to push past again. “I don’t know if you should go up there.” Nicky turns back to see his mom and dad watching them. They look like they’re about to follow. Nicky asks if he called the police or an ambulance. Kevin says both.

“Who hurt him?” Nicky doesn’t know what to say. He can hear the mumble of voices upstairs.

“I don’t know.” Kevin’s voice is almost a whisper. “There’s so much blood.” And then Nicky shoves him out of the way and suddenly Kevin’s following him up the stairs and Nicky’s reaching out to hold Andrew’s face, Neil holding a blanket around his presumably naked bottom half. Kevin nearly got sick at the sight again. He’d seen enough blood in the nest, he’d seen enough rapes and tortures and beatings and dead bodies, but this was so much worse. This was messy, this was family, this was Andrew’s abuser killed at the hands of his brother, blood on the wall of Nicky’s childhood bedroom.

So Andrew and Neil leave in the ambulance, Kevin and Nicky left to take a taxi to the police station, waiting for Aaron who left in cuffs, waiting to give their statement. They don’t say much, but Kevin puts a hand on Nicky’s shoulder when he finally cries, and leaves his own shoulder free as a place to cry on. They’re told to leave without Aaron and they’re left alone again in Columbia, waiting for David to bring Andrew home safe. Neither of them have much of an appetite to eat, and it’s a while before either of them speak.

“Did you see it happen?” Nicky is staring at a wall, hands wringing around the end of a pillowcase. “Did you watch him die?”

“No,” Kevin fought off another panic attack that crept up his throat. “Did you know who he was?”

They skirted around the topic, afraid that if they said what really happened, it would be real, it would be unfixable. But Kevin knew Nicky needed him, until somebody else came back. Can you even imagine how much Nicky must’ve been in shock? I don’t think he even called Erik until the next day, you know. The only person he spoke about it with was Kevin, and when Betsy arrived he cried with her for ten minutes before a car was pulling up and he knew it was Andrew. Kevin and Nicky had never spent so much to me alone, but there was a strange comfort in the air. Kevin was the rock that Nicky needed, and Nicky was the distraction Kevin needed. Kevin wasn’t a hugger, really, but when Nicky asked to be held, he pulled him into his chest and didn’t let go until he was ready. They both comforted each other that night, but they never spoke about it again. Nobody else had to know that they’d practically broken down in each other arms, half in shock, half processing the trauma they’d just witnessed. Nicky had never been exposed to something like that before; Kevin knew it was a life-changing event for him. Nicky didn’t have any sort of ideas of superiority about his relationship to Andrew, either. He knew how much Andrew meant to Kevin, how he had walked in to see his protector so vulnerable, so hurt. He knew Kevin had to say that word down the phone to the operator, and how he had to say it to Coach, too. And he had to say it again and again and again to the cops in the station.

I know it’s an extreme example of their friendship, but I think a lot of it goes unspoken. That night was the night where their respect for each other became physical, and visible. It became more than just nods across a court or a pat on the shoulder after a good game. They were all they had that night. Just Kevin and Nicky, alone for god knows how long, just waiting, trying to keep it together. They each took a shot of whatever spirit they could find before Betsy arrived, and nobody had to know about that either. They coped in their own ways after that, but it really solidified how much they cared about each other, I think. Kevin texted Nicky for the first time that week, a couple different times, just to see if he was okay, how he was doing, if he needed anything. And oh man, did that mean the absolute world to him. Kevin and Nicky’s relationship is probably one of the more unexpectedly close relationships in the series, when I think about it. They didn’t experience what happened that night in the way Andrew or Neil or Aaron did, but the way they looked out for each other when both their worlds came screeching to a halt in the upstairs bedroom in a house that was no longer home? Unmatched.

There’s definitely softer/“fluffier”/funnier instances of them being friends but my mind couldn’t NOT let me write about this cos it was all I could think about SORRYYYY

[strawberryshortpace]

Here’s a (way too long) bullet fic about Neil figuring out his style

He’s finally allowed to try and find a clothing style he likes and is comfortable with

He has absolutely no idea where to start so he considers his options

His first thought is Andrew but Andrew has already picked out some clothes for him when they went out and Neil wants to try something else

Neil thinks about asking one of the upperclassmen but they’d get the others involved and Neil doesn’t want it to be a big thing yet

So that leaves the monsters

Andrew’s out for reasons already explained

Aarons out because at this point Neil isn’t comfortable enough asking Aaron for help with something that would make him feel (even slightly) vulnerable

(Though they make it to that point eventually)

Kevin basically lives in athletic gear and while Neil thinks that’s be comfortable it’s wouldn’t be a big change from where he’s at now so he’s out

Which leaves us with Nicky

Nicky has a lot of experience with this type of thing because he started his life wearing what his parents wanted

Then he started experimenting with fashion when he started questioning his parents beliefs/rules

Then he was sent to conversion therapy and mostly went back to his parents choice of clothing (though he added more colors)

Then there was Germany where he got to try so many different trends without constantly being shamed/judged

So he has an idea of how Neil is feeling and how overwhelmed he probably is

So Nicky starts asking a couple questions about what Neil would and would be okay trying and what colors he likes wearing the most

(though Nicky is sad the answer is mostly neutral colors he knows it’s important to keep a couple elements Neil’s comfortable with so he’s more likely to wear the new clothes)

So they go out and grab a bunch of things that will actually fit Neil and are slightly more revealing (though they keep to more muted colors)

Nicky also grabs a few out there pieces that he hopes Neil will at least try on even if he doesn’t show anyone or buy the things Nicky wants him to try it at least

The outlandish pieces include a loose grey crop top, a yellow sweater, and a very sparkly shirt

While Neil tries them all on he isn’t comfortable enough to leave the dressing room and show Nicky

He isn’t a fan of the sparkles

And while the crop top was very comfortable he’s not at the point where he’ll wear something that’s likely to show off the scars on his stomach

So those 2 get put back

But the yellow sweater is big and comfortable and while Neil isn’t currently ready to go in public in something that bright (that isn’t for the foxes) he thinks he might be willing to wear it around the dorm soon enough so they end up buying it

At the end of the day Neil has tighter pants, more shortsleeved shirts that are actually his size and can sometimes show his muscles, and more muted reds and blues and slightly less grey (though there’s still a lot of grey cause he likes it)

The other foxes notice the slight change of clothes and compliment him and encourage him to try other things as well

A few weeks after the shopping trip Neil and Andrew go up onto the roof to smoke and talk and Neil grabs his new yellow sweater

He doesn’t put it on until they’re actually on the roof so no one but Andrew sees it but Neil notices Andrew looking and gets to say ‘staring’

Andrew who has been working with Betsy about saying what he’s feeling just goes ‘it’s the sweater. Looks nice on you’

After that when Neil and Andrew are alone (whether on the roof or in the dorm) Neil will usually choose the yellow sweater when he gets cold

2 months later neil and Andrew are hanging out (Neil in his sweater obviously) Neil gets a text from Matt asking if he wants to come over for movie night

While movies aren’t his thing Neil likes hanging with the team so he agrees and heads over with Andrew

Neil completely forgot he was wearing the sweater until the upperclassmen comment on how nice it looks and that they really like it

Neil spends the entire movie thinking about the response he’s gotten about the clothes and how much he really enjoys the new stuff

So at the end of the movie he goes over to Allison (who has only made a few comments about not being chosen for Neil’s makeover though when he explains his reasoning she stops) and asks if she’ll take him shopping

He says that while he wouldn’t mind any of the other upperclassmen coming he’d still prefer it only be the 2 of them

Now Allison has basically been allowed to do anything with her style her whole life (as long as she didn’t look like a complete mess) and she will push Neil’s boundaries more than Nicky will

(if Neil says something makes him uncomfortable she’ll stop pushing but add the piece to the try on pile and say he should at least try it on even if he shows no one)

Now the boundaries are pushed

Because of Neil’s build Allison knows he’s fit and look great in women’s clothing so she takes him to that section

She picks out some knit sweaters for him in some light colors (greys and pastels mainly) along with some fitted tank tops

But then we get into the options that no one but Neil will see (for now) and she grabs a flowy midi skirt, a loose crop top (she doesn’t know Nicky already had him try one), and some very tiny running shorts (if they’re for running he’s more likely to wear them)

And Neil tries them all on and finds he very much likes the sweaters because they’re oversized and comfortable but don’t make him look like he was on the run

The tank tops are iffy but since they’re tight there’s no chance of them moving and showing his scars so he gets them

Then he tries on the crop top and decides he can do the same thing he did with the yellow sweater and start by only wearing it around Andrew so he decides to get it this time

The running shorts are no question because they’re honestly better for ventilation while running

But then there’s the skirt

And Neil doesn’t hate it

In fact he really enjoys it and how comfortable it is while making him look nice (similar to the knit sweaters)

But he is no where near ready to wear it around anyone (even Andrew) and so it goes back on the shelf

Though he does tell Allison he liked it and is just comfortable with anyone seeing him that like

Once again as Neil wears the clothes more and more his teammates comment on how good it looks on him

Neil enjoys the compliments from his teammates and really enjoys how he feels wearing the clothing

(And catching Andrew staring while he’s wearing his new running shorts doesn’t hurt)

But the biggest thing is when he’s alone with Andrew in the dorm and decides to wear the crop top

And then Andrew notices and gets a tiny blush on his face which then immediately makes Neil blush

And so when they’re just hanging out in the dorm by themselves Neil will usually just throw on his crop top

And sometimes when they go for drives together Neil will put it under his jacket (which he keeps zipped up at any point the 2 aren’t in the car so no one else can see it’s cropped)

But eventually like the sweater he becomes so comfortable he doesn’t think twice about leaving the dorm in the crop top

One day about a month after he went shopping with Allison (long before he wore the crop top around anyone but Andrew) Allison drags him into her empty dorm room and gives him a plastic bag with the skirt he tried on in it

Allison had apparently gone back to the store they shopped at the next day and bought it for him

‘I know you said you weren’t comfortable wearing it around anyone but I figured you’d like to have it once you are’

Neil tears up a bit at this but thanks her and leaves it at that

Neither one of them mentions it again but both know how important it is

A very long time after being given the skirt Neil asks Andrew what he thinks about Neil wearing a skirt

Andrew being Andrew returns with a question of ‘do you want to wear a skirt?’

‘I think I do, but I wanted to know your feeling about it’

Andrew’s silent for a while before going ‘you’d look nice in a skirt’

*cue blushing*

Even longer after that during one of the breaks when Nicky is in Germany, Aaron is with Katelyn, Kevin is with Wymack and Abby, and Andrew and Neil are in Columbia alone

Neil mentions wanting to wear his skirt in public but wants it to be somewhere that they know people either won’t care or if some asshole says something they’ll be able to do something about it

So Andrew suggest Eden’s because if there’s anyone giving Neil a hard time about it they can tell the bouncers and have the person kicked out

And so Neil wears his skirt to edens and the bartenders and bouncers compliment him on it (he’s befriended them through Andrew since they’re there so much)

[simonsrosebud]

the one where someone doesn’t know who kevin day is, pt. 5

part one two three four

extra kalton content

games are over for the rest of the winter, and since winter break doesn’t officially start for another week it means that kevin spends most of his time at dalton’s apartment.

which, to be frank, isn’t any different than normal.

what is different, is that now kevin has much more free time to worry about meeting dalton’s family. how did he let himself get roped into staying there for a week?

oh right. because he’s trying to be a good boyfriend. and being a good boyfriend means doing this for dalton because it’s important to him. that’s probably why it’s stressing him out.

kevin flinches when a carrot hits his cheek. “come back to the present, will you?”

he drops his head back against the sofa. “sorry. i zoned out.”

and when dalton is dropping him off at his class for his first final of the semester, “are you okay?”

kevin shrugs. “i’m nervous about meeting your family.” he looks at dalton’s lap instead of his face.

dalton puts the car in park and leans over the center console to kiss his cheek. he stays there for a moment. “i know it won’t help to say there’s nothing to worry about, but it’s still true. they’ll love you because i love you.”

oh.

oh.

what?

“what?” kevin drags his stare up to dalton’s face. he’s smiling, he knows exactly what he’s done.

and dalton takes kevin’s face in his hands. “i love you. and i don’t expect you to say it back, and me saying it probably isn’t helping to make you less nervous, but thinking about me loving you is probably nicer than thinking about meeting my family.” he kisses kevin. “you gotta go, kev.”

kevin’s mouth is still hanging a little, and when he drags himself out of the car he leans into the open window. “you-you’re just gonna spring that on me and leave?”

“yep. and you’re going to think about it when you’re doubting yourself taking this exam.” he puts the car in drive, and blows him a dramatic kiss. “text me when you’re done?”

“no- i mean, yes, but-“

“good luck, love you!” and he drives off.

kevin watches his car until it turns the corner, and tugs at his hair before going inside.

he may have failed his exam, he may not have. he can’t really tell. either way, he lies a little to dalton when walking out. just got done, still have to wait for the class to end the exam before we can leave.

that kinda sucks. just txt me when ur done

kevin doesn’t know who to call, but his thumb eventually lands on abby.

“hey. are you okay? i feel like you never call me,” she laughs, and kevin grimaces. he should do it more often, then.

“i’m just stressed about something and… you’re the only person i thought to call.” he sits on a nearby bench outside his building. before abby can say anything he gets back to it. “dalton said i love you this morning and i don’t know what to do about it.”

“well, kevin, you don’t have to do anything about it. you can say it back? if you feel the same way?”

he does. he thinks. does he? is it just him thinking he should say it back because it’s the nice thing to do? he and thea never said it.

kevin shakes his head. his relationship with thea was toxic and a little fabricated.

kevin freezes. he’s never said i love you to someone and meant it. he takes a deep breath. he’s so fucked up. he knows he’s fucked up and it makes his head spin, but he can’t dwell on it because more of his reality would crash around him, and he’s already working through enough of it with bee behind the scenes.

“kevin?”

“i’m here. i don’t know if i feel the same, yet.”

“i know. you don’t have to say it. you can wait until you’re ready, or you don’t ever have to say it if you never feel it. he seems nice, i mean, i’d surely think that he’d be okay with you waiting?”

why did he call her? no one really knows his relationship but him.

he calls dalton. “i’m out, now. can you take me to the stadium?”

kevin shoots on an empty goal, hounding balls at cones for what’s probably close to two hours before the door opens.

wymack looks at him expectantly. “remember when betsy said you shouldn’t be spending more time here than necessary? like you did last year with the god-awful night practices?”

kevin plants the end of his racquet to the ground. “i had a lot on my mind.”

wymack retreats back through the hall. kevin follows. “should i be playing dad or coach right now?”

kevin doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to him saying things like that. about being his father. it’s not like he ever thought of him as just his coach, the day he found out that david wymack was his father that’s all he’s been able to think of him as in his head. the reality of it is just… different. shocking, even now.

“both?” wymack turns, an eyebrow raised. “dalton told me he loves me. i can’t say it back yet, so i don’t know what to say to him when i see him.”

he crosses his arms. “hey, dalton, you know i’m basically head over heels for you as anyone can tell, but i can’t say i love you yet because i’ve got shit up here that i need to settle first.” and after a moment. “too coach?

kevin shrugs. “it’s what i expected.”

it’s close enough to what he tells dalton, too. just without the head over heels and softer wording of “i’m fucked in the head”.

and he feels a little lighter when dalton kisses him and tells him it’s okay. “i told you you don’t have to say it. are you uncomfortable with me saying it again? do you want me to wait?”

and he doesn’t want to- or know how to say no, i need you to keep saying it until i believe you. i need you to keep saying it so i don’t forget. so that i know you mean it.

instead, he shrugs. he’s been shrugging so much lately. he’ll turn into neil. “i like hearing it.”

“kay.” dalton smiles. “i love you, then.”

he wasn’t planning on telling dalton anything past that, but then they start making out, and dalton lies him down, and he panics. “hey.” he says.

dalton has his lips on his neck. “hey.”

“no, hey, stop, d.” and he’s off of him quicker than he can comprehend.

“are you okay?”

“yeah,” he breathes. “no, i’m fine, i just…” he sits up. “i… can’t say i love you yet because i’ve never said it to anyone.”

“i’ve only been in two other real relationships before this, that’s okay-“

“no, i mean.” he sighs. “when i was... with the ravens, you know... saying i love you, or even like, oh love you man to a friend just... wasn’t something that-that we did. especially the way i was raised, i may have said it to a friend once or twice. but i don’t...” he looks up, and dalton feels pain in his chest from the pure vulnerability in his eyes. he slides his hands up gently to kevin’s face as he whispers, “i don’t think i’ve ever said i love you to anyone and meant it.”

“hey,” he whispers back. “that’s okay, kev. that’s okay.” he hugs him and kevin takes the biggest breath ever as he tucks his face into dalton’s shoulder.

and two weeks later, kevin’s standing on the porch of the miller family home in bowie, maryland.

he glances down at the address in his notes. this is the right one.

he should have let dalton pick him up from the airport. he knows he feels bad about it, but he didn’t want him to see how nervous he was.

he knocks on the door.

it opens after a few moments. a girl almost his height stands inside the door, and kevin panics. “hi.”

but she grins. “hi! you’re kevin! come in!” she steps back and it’s so fucking warm in the house compared to outside. “i’m so excited you’re here, dalton told us all about youuu” she coos as she leads him further into the house. dalton is shouting as he runs across the kitchen to turn down the stove to stop something from boiling over, and when he turns he grins.

“kevin!” he very obviously tries not to run over to hug him, and almost lifts kevin off his toes. “how long have you been here?” he whispers.

“twenty seconds.”

“oh good. okay. how was your flight?” he shrugs. “okay, cool, uh, let’s take your bag to my room.”

dalton kind of rushes them downstairs. his room and a spare bedroom are the only ones down there, and when he shuts the door behind them he takes a deep breath. “i’m sorry. i’m really nervous. my family’s kind of loud and my sisters are those people who just kind of act like they’ve known you for a while within five minutes of meeting you, so they probably won’t care to be weird in front of you. and my dad acts real tough and he’ll do the dad thing from movies and hammer you” kevin has no idea what he’s talking about. “um, and my sisters are annoying and if they bitch at each other just ignore it- it’s just what they do. and i just-”

“dalton it’s fine!” kevin shrugs out of his coat. “you forget i’ve lived with andrew, nicky, and neil. every awkward or tense moment is created because of them.”

he also knows how to school his expression in strange situations. again, he’s grown up in the spotlight.

so dalton leads him back upstairs where his mother is standing at the stove and his two sisters are at the table leaned close and whispering. they stop and both turn when the boys come up. “sorry, stole him for a second. um, mom, this is kevin.”

“oh, call me anne. it’s so nice to finally meet you! dalton’s told us plenty.”

“you as well. i’m just glad i was able to come out here this winter.” he’s got on his press smile on instinct. he’s so nervous, he feels like he’s sweating.

“i’m carmen, this is bella!” the girls wave from their spots at the table, and before he can say hello carmen speaks up again. he’s not complaining. “so you play exy? bella plays exy.” bella elbows her. “what!”

“i really don’t. i joined intramural at school so my friend wouldn’t be alone. i’m really bad.”

“not terrible, he could teach you some moves. he’s incredible.” now kevin shoots dalton a look. “what.”

“no, it’s okay, i mean i know who you are.” kevin’s stomach drops a little. “not like- i know that you’re famous for exy, i don’t like know you.”

kevin’s trying hard not to regret coming. why did he think he could act normal with someone else’s family?

but surprisingly, things smooth out after a few more minutes of painstaking conversation. granted, after kevin meets dalton’s father after comes home.

“kevin day. it’s a pleasure to meet you, sir.” he’s proud of his handshake, but mr. miller doesn’t pay it any mind.

“george. nice to meet you.” he nods, and grabs a bottle from the fridge. “beer? dalt, you get him a drink?”

kevin stiffens as he sits back at the table. “i don’t drink, sir.”

george frowns for a moment. he doesn’t remember how old dalton said he was. “you’re not underage, are you?” only three years younger, right?

“no, i just don’t drink.” anymore.

“fair enough.” he sits back at the table, and gestures towards his face. “see you’ve got a tattoo. why the face?”

“dad!” carmen is doing homework on her laptop, but looks up with a shocked look on her face. “don’t be rude,” she mumbles.

“i’m just asking!”

kevin honestly doesn’t know who to go by, but he feels his dad is the right route. “it’s a cover up. the one under it was a cocky premature thing with... uh, my, my-”

“his kind of brother.” kevin wishes carmen would butt out. but he has to play nice.

“oh! i’m sorry, i thought dalton said you were an only child.” and his dad actually seems sorry that he got his information wrong, despite it not even coming up yet, that kevin feels bad. he balls his fists under the table.

“we weren’t related. i just grew up with him. my family situation is... complicated.”

george holds his hands up after a speedy glancing at dalton. kevin thanks god for whatever face dalton must have made at him. “not my business to intrude. forget i asked about the face.”

and then things smooth out. they eat dinner, and kevin helps put dishes into the dishwasher to boost his morale with anne before joining dalton and his sisters in the living room. he sinks into the couch. dalton looks bored at what bella has on, the history channel, but kevin zones in on it. he tends to watch it a lot when andrew and neil aren’t there. or while he’s doing homework.

an hour in, both kevin and bella are enamored by whatever segment they’re playing. when dalton gets up to grab a drink, carmen smiles to herself and tosses a mini pretzel at bella, it lands on her sleeve, but she doesn’t notice.

she shakes her head. she does the same to kevin. it lands in his hood, and when he doesn’t move to take it out carmen leans forward.

dalton walks back in and lingers when he sees her. “you ever watch these two watch the history channel?” he frowns. what? “you could cut the sexual tension with a knife!”

bella snaps and kicks carmen. dalton rolls his eyes and sits with his head in kevin’s lap. carmen looks at him with a challenging brow. dalton isn’t going to let her win her little experiment.

he leans up and kisses kevin’s chin. “wanna go downstairs?”

kevin slides his hand into dalton’s hair, looks down at him for a moment. “soon. there’s still twenty minutes left.”

dalton’s jaw drops. carmen cackles.

at least he’s fitting in.

the rest of kevin’s trip to maryland at dalton’s family home are when they go to NYC for a day, and when he and dalton are just lounging around at the house and kevin says i love you

[buriedinbaltimore]

Imagine the foxes playing two truths and a lie...

The upperclassmen start playing it as a drinking game one night and Neil is intrigued. Andrew is also intrigued but doesn’t show it and refuses to play.

They are all already pretty tipsy, with Kevin, Matt, Nicky, and Aaron pretty much drunk.

Allison goes first, she has an amazing poker face and calmly says all three statements with no facial twitches or vocal cues. “my first car was a Toyota Camry (truth), my prom dress cost over $10k (lie), and I once made out with Miley Cyrus (truth)”

Renee, Neil, and Aaron guess right, Matt, Dan, Kevin, and Nicky have to drink.

Then it’s Matt’s turn and he is terrible, he starts snickering before he opens his mouth. “I’ve swam with sharks (truth)” he says, but he cannot control his face and it keeps contorting as he tries to maintain a neutral expression. He takes a deep breath to try and control his giggles, “my favorite flower is sunflowers (truth)” then he can’t hold it in anymore and starts hysterically laughing and chokes out, “My favorite city in the world is Newark, NJ (lie)”

Everyone gets it right and Matt has to drink.

Dan is next, she goes for the “one of these is so out there and crazy it can’t be a lie...or is it?” method.

((It is.))

“I’ve never shot a gun (truth), as a kid my favorite food was celery with ranch dressing (truth), and when I was 18 I won the lottery but the ticket was ruined and I couldn’t claim the money (lie)”

Aaron jumps in with “Obviously you never won the lottery, how would you even know if the ticket was destroyed”

Dan has her story ready. “When I first turned 18, I played the same numbers every week. It went on for a few months when my numbers were picked, but by that point playing was more of a habit than anything else and I wasn’t too careful with my tickets. I searched for it everywhere and found that I left it in my jeans pocket when I did my laundry.”

Allison asks what the numbers were, and Dan answers with no hesitation, which makes Allison tilt her head and stare into Dan’s eyes. Dan looks back without guile, totally relaxed.

Nicky is looking at her with his eyes wide and mouth slightly open and asks how much money she would have won

When Dan answers $53 million dollars Nicky gasps and Matt groans.

Neil, Renee, and Allison get it right, but everyone else falls for it.

When its Nicky turn he forgets to say a lie.

He is sitting there trying to come up with something for what feels like forever while every goads him for taking so long.

Finally, after waiting 5 minutes, Kevin says “I’m going because Nicky obviously can’t come up with anything” and Nicky jumps across Kevins lap and goes “No no no no no, I’ve got it!”

Without moving off Kevin he says “I’m allergic to shellfish, I died my hair green once, and I’ve read all the twilight books three times“ He moves back to his spot looking pleased with himself.

Everyone starts discussing theories until Andrew says in his bored, flat voice, “Nicky, those are all true”

Nicky starts to protest, thinks for a second, then just says “Fuck!” and takes a shot.

Kevin rolls his eyes so hard that his entire head rotates then says, while slightly slurring, “Okay, my turn! I’ve played a game of pick up basketball once (lie), I know all the lyrics to We Didn’t Start the Fire (truth), and I’ve traveled to over a dozen countries (truth).”

Matt starts hysterically laughing again, “You know all the lyrics to We Didn’t Start the Fire! oh my god Kevin you are such a nerd!” everyone else starts laughing at Kevin too.

“Maybe I do, maybe it’s the lie!”

“Everyone knows you’ve never played a sport besides Exy in your life Kevin” Dan says, “Will you sing it for us? Please, please, please!”

Allison, Nicky, and Matt join Dan in asking Kevin to sing. Renee even says, “It would be lovely to hear you sing it Kevin” to which Kevin blushes a little and answers, “Maybe later” and then takes his shot.

Aaron is drunk enough at this point to spill some truths he otherwise never would, and will wish for the rest of his life that he never had.

“When I was little, I wanted to be a figure skater when I grew up.(truth)”

Everyone goes completely silent and stares at him unsure whether to laugh or not but he doesn’t realize and continues

“The first time I got high I thought the squirrels in the tree wanted to adopt me as their squirrel king (truth), and I hate Taylor Swift (lie)”

No one says anything at first, and just when Aaron starts to realize something is up, Nicky says “Nah man, you LOVE T. Swift, you can’t deny it!”

They collectively make a silent agreement to ignore this new information about Aaron until he sobers up a bit and can either defend himself, or will be more fun to tease.

In the end, everyone but Renee guesses right, but she guessed wrong on purpose because she didn’t think that Aaron should be having any more to drink.

When it’s Renee’s turn, she smiles sweetly and says, ”I can juggle up to 7 balls (truth), I have never drank diet soda (lie), and I once had a pet turtle named Vincent (truth).”

No one is confident about which is the lie and it is the longest the foxes debate after anyones turn. It doesn’t help that Renee refuses to answer questions, and whenever someone tries to ask her anything she just smiles and shrugs.

It comes out to Neil and Aaron getting it right, while everyone else has to drink.

“How the fuck has it never come up that you’re a master juggler?” Allison asks angrily

“It wouldn’t be appropriate to do it at practice, and we’re not really around balls much otherwise.”

Everyone asks for a demonstration, “I will juggle later if Kevin will sing.”

Everyone looks at Kevin who sighs but says “Okay, fine!”

They all cheer then wait eagerly for Neil to go.

Neil sits quietly for a little while, not as long as Nicky, but long enough that Aaron says, “Come on this should be easy for you! You lied to us all for a year, what’s the problem, the truth?”

Neil shoots him a dirty look but doesn’t respond for a few more seconds then says,

“My mom and I once helped deliver a baby at a truck stop in Alberta, I’ve been bitten by a camel, and I can speak 7 languages”

Everyone just stares at him.

“Two of those things are true?” Matt finally asks

“Yeah.” Neil says, shrugging. Everyone is silent again.

Nicky turns to Andrew for help, but he refuses to say anything. His eyes are bright with interest though and he looks at Neil for a long time. Internally, he thinks the one about helping birth a baby has something off about it.

After much debate, Allison, Kevin, and Matt guess the baby, Renee, Dan, and Aaron guess the camel, and Nicky says the languages, “No one can know SEVEN languages!! I won’t believe it!”

They all turn to Neil expectantly and he says, “It was the first one, we were just outside Vancouver, in British Columbia, not Alberta.”

“But you, Neil Josten, have helped deliver a baby?” Allison asks incredulously.

“Technically I wasn’t Neil Josten yet…”

Everyone groans. Everyone takes a shot.

Cut to 15 minutes later, Renee is juggling an exy ball, some apples, and Matt’s phone while Kevin sings. Nicky tries to sing along with Kevin but definitely doesn’t know the right words, Aaron is watching Renee wide eyed, Dan and Matt are playing air guitar behind Kevin, and Allison is looking for more things for Renee to juggle. Neil and Andrew sit quietly on a desk holding cigarettes, observing their idiot friends.  

Stories Behind the Truths and Lies

Allison

My first car was a Toyota Camry (truth) - Allison’s parents wanted her to learn how to drive in a safe car that wouldn’t draw a lot of attention, so they got her a Camry. She only drove it for 3 weeks before demanding an upgrade.

My prom dress cost over $10k (lie) - This was almost true. She had ordered a custom Zac Posen dress but before it was finalized she made her decision to go to PSU and play Exy, and her mother canceled the order. She ended up wearing something she found in a vintage store that she altered herself. She ended up enjoying it a lot, which led to her decision to study fashion. (In my hc she played professional Exy for 3? seasons but was injured and then started her fashion line.)

I once made out with Miley Cyrus (truth) - While out clubbing one night she met Miley through mutual friends, they were attracted to each other, they made out. Miley asked for her number but Allison wasn’t looking for anything more than a hook up.

Matt

I’ve swam with sharks (truth) - He did this with his mom on a vacation and they both loved it. They also have a tradition where they watch at least one night of shark week together, or at least call each other to talk while they are both watching.

My favorite flower is sunflowers (truth) - No story lol I just think he would like sunflowers.

My favorite city in the world is Newark, NJ (lie) - I love thinking about New Yorker Matt. Raised on the Upper East Side, dad a top plastic surgeon, mom a public figure? Child grew up surrounded by serious privilege. HC that in fifth grade he made friends with a boy who was on scholarship at his school. Let’s call him… Metin. He lived in Queens? He took the subway? Matt goes to his house one day and it is 1/8th the size of his apartment and there are 9 people living there; Metin’s parents, two grandparents, his uncle, his two sisters, and his cousin. They all speak Turkish in the house and it’s loud and crowded but so full of life and love and Matt loves it. He and Metin grew apart when Matt started using, but before that they were best friends for years and explored the city together, Matt learning about and experiencing so much culture that for the first 9 years of his life he didn’t know existed. When Nicky wanted to go to Times Square for New Years Matt knew he had to be a good host and take them but inside he was DYING. I’m getting off track. No New Yorker could ever like Newark. I’m not convinced anybody could like Newark. It is indeed, very laughable.

Dan

I’ve never shot a gun (truth) - Dan hates guns and refuses to shoot one.

As a kid my favorite food was celery with ranch dressing (truth) - Idk I just thought this was cute. And also thinking about young Dan who didn’t have a lot of access to healthy foods getting celery sticks and ranch with her free school lunch and getting SO excited. Trading her cookie to a classmate for their celery.

When I was 18 I won the lottery but the ticket was ruined and I couldn’t claim the money (lie) - I like to think this is part true. After Dan turned 18 but before she was recruited for the Foxes, she played lotto a lot, always with the same numbers that she got from a fortune cookie that said, “Failure is not defeat until you stop trying.” She stopped playing once she signed with Wymack.

Nicky (all truths)

I’m allergic to shellfish - Mostly I love that Andrew knew all these things about Nicky, especially his allergy because he’s always looking out to make sure Nicky doesn’t eat something he can’t.

I died my hair green once - At first, when he took custody of the twins and started showing up for them at school at stuff, he hated the looks he got. He was a 19 year old kid who was supposed to be their guardian? Not to mention the way people eyed his skin and hair when he said he was family. One day he decided to dye his hair blond and he asked Andrew and Aaron to help, to try to bond. Aaron wanted nothing to do with it, but surprisingly, Andrew seem enthusiastic about the idea. He bought the dye and did everything for Nicky in the kitchen. When he was finally done roughly washing the dye out of Nicky’s hair, Nicky went to the bathroom to see how he looked and saw that Andrew had died his hair green. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to laugh at the prank or cry because he foolishly thought he might be getting through to Andrew. When he went back to the kitchen, he tried to laugh it off and said maybe he should go to a salon to get the color right. Andrew told him he was stupid to try and change how he looked just because people were dumb enough to think that families needed to look alike. Besides, they weren’t a family anyway.  “Family” is a toxic excuse for things people put up with, a reason we accept the tragedies and inconveniences forced upon us. (Nora’s words) Nicky was upset, and dyed his hair back to his natural color once the roots started growing in, but he reaffirmed his commitment in that moment that he would show the twins what Erik had shown him, what a family could really be.

I’ve read all the twilight books three times - Nicky was a huge fan of twilight, even going to the midnight release party for the last book. He was disappointed in the movie adaptations but loved the casting and watched for the eye candy. He is loving the twilight renaissance especially the twilight is gay discourse.

Kevin

I’ve played a game of pick up basketball once (lie) - Kevin has never played a game of basketball, or soccer, or tennis, or baseball, or any other sport for that matter and can not understand why anyone would want to.

I know all the lyrics to We Didn’t Start the Fire (truth) - Kayleigh Day was a big music fan, she loved everything from classical to country, but one of her favorite artists was Billy Joel. After she died and Kevin moved into Evermore, he almost forgot about her music because the music at the Nest was all chosen for pragmatic reasons, like its BPM and ability to pump the players up. One day, when Kevin was around 15 years old, a rebellious Raven played his own music while training in the weight room. He and his partner were the only ones in there until Riko and Kevin showed up, and they turned it off as soon as they realized they had come in, but Kevin heard some of “Only the Good Die Young” and for the first time in a long time had a vivid memory of his mother. He asked the boys what had been playing, and Riko scoffed at the name Billy Joel. That night while Riko was sleeping, Kevin downloaded Billy Joel’s Greatest Hits and listened until he feel asleep, and he continued listening to it for weeks until he started remembering more of his mothers songs from his childhood. We Didn’t Start the Fire was one of his favorites because history.

I’ve traveled to over a dozen countries (truth) - Between travel through Europe with his mom while she spread Exy and professional appearances he made with Riko, Kevin is the most well traveled besides Neil.

Aaron

When I was little, I wanted to be a figure skater when I grew up. (truth) - When Aaron was around four or five, he watched the winter olympics on TV and fell in love with figure skating. Tilda never bothered to get him skating lessons, but one day, when Aaron was seven, there was an attempt to revive the Ice Capades. Aaron never thought he would get to go, but Tilda surprised him with tickets. It is one of the few really good memories he has of his mom.

The first time I got high I thought the squirrels in the tree wanted to adopt me as their squirrel king (truth) - I just imagine Aaron trying his mom’s drugs for the first time alone in the back yard, laying flat on his back looking up at a family of squirrels, saying, “I’m king of the squirrels!!!”

I hate Taylor Swift (lie) - Katelyn is a HUGE Taylor Swift fan. When they first started hanging out, Aaron didn’t really like her music but didn’t want to say anything. Eventually he started associating her with Katelyn though, and he loves watching Katelyn sign and dance so much that he now genuinely enjoys her music.

Renee

I can juggle up to 7 balls (truth) - Renee always had a natural juggling talent. She never really tried to learn, it was just always something she could do.

I have never drank diet soda (lie) - She does prefer non-diet soda, but she has tried diet before.

I once had a pet turtle named Vincent (truth) - Vincent was a gift from one of her mother’s boyfriends, the only one Renee ever remotely like. He was horrible to her mother, but had a soft spot for Renee and treated her kindly. They broke up after a couple of months, and he gave her Vincent as a parting gift. She had him until she got arrested, she couldn’t go back home to get him and when her mother went to prison he died.

Neil

My mom and I once helped deliver a baby at a truck stop in Alberta (lie) - This happened while Neil and his mom were on the way to Seattle. It was the middle of the night and they stopped to get gas a few hours out from Vancouver when they heard a woman screaming. There was nothing around for miles and only one other car in the lot that had been there when they pulled in. His mother immediately dropped the gas pump and Neil was already back in the car when the screaming stopped and his mother hesitated. Neil had never seen his mom hesitate with a potential threat around before, and he listened closely to try and understand why she stopped. All he heard was a woman panting harshly, but it sounded almost as though there was a rhythm to it. Mary signaled for him to get out of the car, and ordered him to grab some blankets, the first aid kit, and water bottles and follow her. They walked behind the locked public bathrooms, and found the woman squatting, with tears running down her face. Mary wasn’t very gentle or comforting, but she told the woman in a calm and confident voice that they were going to help. Neil didn’t do much, but he let the woman hold his hand and squeeze until he thought she would break it. He gave her sips of water between her contractions and did anything else his mother said. Once the baby was out, wrapped in a blanket, and in its mothers arms, Mary grabbed Neil and they left without another word to the woman. She stared after them, confused and grateful. Neil and his mother never spoke of it again.

I’ve been bitten by a camel (truth) - Neil and Mary spent a few days in Dubai to get some papers from a specialist there before traveling back to North America. The man did his business out of a racetrack where they held camel races. To get to his office, they had to travel through the back part of the track that the jockeys used to get the camels into position. Neil got too close to one of the camels and it bit his arm, luckily (or not), the jockey was in the middle of beating it and before it closed its mouth too tightly, landed a blow that caused the camel to immediately open its mouth again. Once he was freed, Neil was out of reach in a millisecond.

I can speak 7 languages (truth) - English, German, French, Russian, Hebrew, Czech, Greek. (To clarify he can speak 7 languages but he wouldn’t necessarily call himself fluent in all 7) We all know English, German, French, and Nora had a hc that Andrew and Neil learn Russian so they can talk to each other even with the cousins around which I love. Hebrew - In my hc Neil is jewish, as are Mary and Nathan. After running away, Mary didn’t know where to go once she had left her brother. She didn’t speak any other languages besides English, but she could understand Yiddish from hearing her grandparents and sometimes her parents speaking it growing up, and she could understand Polish from her time married to Nathan. She didn’t want to go to Poland in case any of Nathan’s contacts recognized her, so she decided to go to Israel. She knew there were communities there that spoke Yiddish and she was familiar if not comfortable with Hebrew from going to temple when she was younger. But most importantly she knew Nathan didn’t have any regular contacts there. While they were there, along with learning Hebrew, Mary pretended to be interested in converting to Greek Orthodox in order to get secret Greek lessons for her and Neil. After a while but sooner than she had hoped, Mary got a warning that Nathan had figured out where they were. She didn’t think it would be wise to go directly to Greece so she decided to move them to Prague next, since Czech and Polish are fairly similar and she really had no other ideas. While in Prague she continued her and Neil’s Greek lessons, and they went on to Greece eventually. Mary didn’t want them to lose any of the languages they learned, so she came up with a system that on certain days of the week they would speak to each other in certain languages. After Mary died, Neil pretty much gave up on Czech and Hebrew because he hadn’t been surrounded by them in so long and he hadn’t used either except with Mary since they moved from Prague or Israel. They had lived in Greece for longer than they had in Prague or Israel though, moving to a few different cities, so he felt stronger with Greek.

Fin. 

This is my first time writing anything fanfiction, my first time doing any creative writing at all really, and I would love any and all feedback!! Thanks for reading this long ass post, I hope it wasn’t terrible!!

[codename-adler]

foxes + onesies (9/9)

based off of that one post i saw and don’t remember, where people once caught Allison wandering around Fox Tower in a giraffe onesie, and i absolutely melted for her. here is the Foxes’ journey to getting a onesie each!

Kevin

every Fox has bad days

some bad days begin with a specific feeling

when Andrew feels ghost hands as he wakes up, when he feels his body too tight for his bones, or hid bones too big for his body

when Neil feels every sound like a knife to his skin, when the scars on his face feel like phantom pains, when he feels a grown man moves too fast, too close to him

when Allison feels jeans cling too much to her thighs, when her shirt brushes too much on her abdomen, when she feels the food she ate resting in her stomach

some bad days begin with a specific date

when it’s the anniversary of Tilda’s death, and Aaron cannot be in the same room as Andrew, no matter how far they’ve come

when it’s the anniversary the Boyds’ divorce, and Matt can’t leave Dan’s side for one second, no matter how strong their relationship is

when it’s the anniversary of Mary’s death, of Evermore, of Nathaniel’s last birthday, of Baltimore, and Neil can’t take a single look at himself in the mirror, no matter how many times Andrew worships his face with his mouth and his fingers

or, when it’s the anniversary of Kayleigh Day’s death, and nobody remembers, not even Wymack, and Kevin is all alone with this grief that is other, unlike any other he carries everyday, unlike anything he can compare to, and he doesn’t know how to feel anymore

Kevin vividly remembers that day, and he sees it luring around the corner as August approaches

but this time, there is no more Riko to worry about, no more mafia to be scared of, no more Ravens to antagonize him, no more Master to punish him for even attempting to grieve every year

and no more alcohol to make him forget

Kevin quit drinking the day they won championship, they day Riko was killed died

it’s been a year and a half, now, and Kevin still wants to drink the minute things get hard mentally

(it’s also been a year and a half since the Foxes started getting onesies, but it doesn’t feel like it’s been that long, and only Allison remembers that summer where it all started)

so when Kevin enters his bad days, his bad weeks, the Foxes are used to his mood swinging back and forth between Queen of Assholery and Feral Fox

but Kevin isn’t

he isn’t used to feeling all of this, to always think, and think, and think, until everything inside his head is as loud as the outside, until it’s all too much

yet he’s still expected to go on

still supposed to function, to perform, to be a decent human being when he’s not even sure he even feels human anymore

and so when Kevin snaps, the Foxes are supposed to be used to it

they’re not

nobody is

it’s summer practice

the 9 Foxes came in early, before the two new recruits arrive

Kevin is in the middle of yelling at Neil, who is very much yelling back at him

there’s that moment very full of testosterone where each of them throw away their gloves and helmets and sticks

they’re an inch from each other’s face and then Kevin suddenly… stops

he completely stops

his face goes blank, his feet move him back, his arms go slack

he looks at Neil, and he looks, and looks, and looks…

as if he could find an answer to a question he doesn’t know he’s asking

Neil, who has never learned to watch his mouth after all the trouble it got him into, keeps tearing into Kevin

Kevin keeps backing up and Neil keeps pushing further

but apart from his backwards movement, Kevin doesn’t react

pure apathy doesn’t suit him nearly as well as it did Andrew

the other Foxes are so silent, that between two of Neil’s breaths, they can all hear him whisper

“Stop.”

but Neil doesn’t hear him, or doesn’t want to

it gets so out of control, even Wymack has to step in, on the court, when he sees Kevin so unresponsive

it gets so bad, eventually Neil, too, stops his yelling and just looks at Kevin

and he looks, and looks, and looks…

as if he could understand the question Kevin is asking an answer for with his pleading, green eyes

“Stop… Just- stop. I can’t- anymore… “

Kevin shakes his head and looks at the floor as hatred and hurt grip his guts

he takes another step back

suddenly he jerks his head back up and looks at Neil

“I hate you. God, I hate all of you.”

he looks at all his Foxes

then leaves

Kevin Day leaves the court

behind his back, he doesn’t see Matt holding back a furious yet teary-eyed Dan

he doesn’t see Renee leaving her goal to join Andrew’s side, her big racquet blocking his way

he doesn’t see Nicky putting his hand on Neil’s shoulder, squeezing in empathy

he doesn’t see Allison throwing away her racquet against the plexiglass wall with all that she’s got, fuming and hiding her tears

he doesn’t see Wymack matching over to Neil, a whole speech ready to give Neil his piece of mind

and he certainly doesn’t see Aaron collapsing to the ground, his hands holding his head and gripping his hair, his breaths shallow, his jaw clenched shut, his eyes dry yet red-rimmed

but from behind Kevin’s back, none of them see him either

they can’t see him losing his breath as he starts running away

they can’t see him clenching and unclenching his left hand

and they certainly can’t see him crying

the week that follows is undeniably tense between all the Foxes

that week also coincides with a lot of events

there’s the new Foxes’ arrival

there’s the start of classes

there’s the mandatory psych session with Betsy before Exy season starts

and there’s August 27th

Mom’s accident

Kevin remembers the day vividly, he truly does

he remembers because the week of the accident, he was supposed to start school for the first time, on September 1st

he had picked his outfit for the first day, he had new red Exy-themed shoes, he had even planned the lunch he wanted to have that day in his lunchbox (spaghetti squash casserole. yeah, weird kid.)

on August 27th, Mom didn’t come home

on August 27th, he went to the Moriyama property

on August 27th, he settled into a weirdly well-accommodated room that fit both him and Riko

on September 1st, he woke up with Riko and they prepared for their first day

on September 1st, Kevin wore his planned outfit, put on his red shoes

on September 1st, Kevin did not have spaghetti squash casserole

she left him nothing but an aversion for squash, red shoes, and Exy

which brings us as to why, on August 27th, as all the team is mandated to talk an hour with Betsy Dobson, Kevin Day volunteers to go first (with Aaron volunteering to go second and be the designated driver for the pair)

none of the Foxes have really talked to Kevin since the previous week’s outburst

Kevin has no other outlet for this painful day

it’s either talk to Betsy, or ruin 496 days of sobriety with one vodka bottle

the only words exchanged between Kevin and Aaron, on the drive to Reddin Medical Center, are, surprisingly, from Kevin

“Somebody should get you a new goddamn car.”

he doesn’t elaborate further than that, but Aaron looks at him strangely

his car really is garbage, though

once arrived at their destination, Kevin doesn’t wait for Aaron and bursts in Betsy’s office without warning

it takes at least half an hour of Betsy talking before Kevin gives up his silence

everything was already there, he just had to open his mouth and let his words fall

Kevin: I’ve been sober for 496 days. I’ve been thinking about my Mom’s anniversary for the past few weeks. That’s today, now. And last Friday, I told Neil, then the whole team, that I hated them. Care to unpack that for me?

Betsy: I can help you sort some things out, of course, Kevin. But this is your baggage. I’m afraid I can’t do this without your help. Why don’t you tell me more about this hatred you feel towards your teammates?

Kevin: I dont. Hate them. I don’t… I hate what they do to me. How they treat me. Their double standards. How they forget, how they dismiss. Mind you, I’m well aware of my asshole status. I know I am. But them… they’re… they’re mean. Vicious. They cut and stab and don’t care about what’s underneath. They don’t care that I helped them get the title of Champions. They don’t care that I was there every step of the way, that I was right there beside them when we played the Ravens, when we won. They don’t care that Riko died, that he once broke my hand, that I was legally kidnapped, that I went through hell and still lived to walk on my own two feet. They don’t care that I, too, once had a mom. They don’t care that my Mom died. They don’t care. To them, I’m still just a cunt. It’s unbearable. They don’t give a shit and I’m so, so tired, Betsy. I’m not asking for much. I just want… I want- I want them to let me breathe. I want them to realize that, I’m just like them. I’m a Fox. I’m a Fox as much as they are. I wake up everyday, and feel all this weight on my shoulders, in my stomach, on my heart, but I carry on anyways, and I don’t know why, but I do, just like them. Is that so hard to grasp? Is that so hard to accept? What am I doing wrong, Betsy?

Betsy: Oh, Kevin…

the rest of the session passes in a blur

Kevin talks about how every time he takes a photograph, he thinks of Kayleigh, of how brightly she smiles in all the photos Wymack has of her, of how he wishes he could take pictures of her with his own camera

Kevin talks about how every strong woman in the Irish folklore he reads about wears Kayleigh’s face

Kevin talks about how he thought Thea had been a bit like her, and how, in the end, she hadn’t been at all, she was her own woman, a woman he didn’t know and didn’t love, and how he thought he had lost a bit of Kayleigh again when they separated

Kevin talks

he talks

and Betsy listens

when his time is up, Kevin’s voice is hoarse with exhaustion and sadness

he lets Aaron in as he decides to take a run back to Fox Tower

his mind tries to guilt him into going back to the court, but between facing the Foxes after that and isolating himself in his dorm, Kevin knows what’s best for him

he is only disturbed in the late evening, when Wymack enters the dorm

even Neil, Andrew and Nicky hadn’t come back yet

Kevin knows something is wrong

Wymack isn’t supposed to be here

Wymack: Day… Listen, son.

Kevin sits up on his bed

Wymack: Argh, I’ll cut the bullshit. It’s Abby. There’s been an accident. Her car’s fucking scrap metal now. She was brought to the hospital 45 minutes ago, I just got the call. She’s going into surgery. We’ll all visit her in the morning.

Not again

Not Abby

What the fuck is this life?

Wymack: Number Seven wants to see you now. Don’t ask me why, I don’t wanna know. I’ll let her in, don’t make me regret this. Sleep good, son. I’ll see you tomorrow.

he opens the door, takes one last look at Kevin’s tense form, and leaves as Allison comes in

she’s wearing her giraffe onesie tied at the waist, with an oversized WALKER 09 t-shirt

she stands in front of Kevin until he looks up at her

Allison: Scoot over. We’re watching The Crown.

and Kevin, dumbfounded, lets her and moves

he finds himself quite intrigued by the storyline, enough to only worry about Abby with his fingers, fiddling with one of the giraffe’s horns

after the third or fourth episode, Allison starts to talk, eyeing Kevin’s fingers playing with her onesie

Allison: Wanna know the latest gossip? Even Andrew has a onesie, now. God, I can’t believe this is a sentence that exists. Andrew Minyard owns a fucking onesie. Do you know what that makes you?

Kevin stays silent, eyes fixed somewhere not quite on Ally’s laptop screen

Allison: That makes you the only Fox without one.

Kevin: Oh, so now I’m a Fox? Didn’t seem that way earlier. Or, like, ever.

the dealer chooses her next words very carefully

Allison: Just because we hadn’t seen it yet, just because we were too busy stuffing our heads up our asses, doesn’t mean you weren’t a Fox… I know, I know. Hard to feel like one when the others give you shit non-stop. Been there, done that. And now I’ve done it to you, too, and I’m… Sorry. We’re dysfunctional, there’s no changing that. But- We can do better. We’ll try, promise. I think you’ve made quite an impression on Betsy today, ‘cause we all received a good talk from her during our sessions. I mean, don’t expect Andrew running in to apologize, but, you know… Something about Betsy turning severe makes you re-evaluate your life choices. We’ll do better, Day.

Kevin looks at her, then

really looks at her

and nods

yet just as he turns his attention back to the screen, Allison leaves the Netflix page and googles “onesie adult”

Kevin: Oh, no. Absolutely not. Nope.

Allison: Oh, yes, yes, yessss!

but then, of course, there’s a knock at the door, and Allison gets up, opens the door, lets the person in, whispers something, and leaves

just like that

and oh

It’s Aaron

Aaron: So… Allison tells me you’re finally getting yourself one of those stupid pajamas too?

Kevin: I am not. What are you doing here anyway? The others will be back soon, I assume.

Aaron: Well, it’s my shift…

Kevin: Your what now?

Aaron: No, it’s not like that! We just… We thought you’d want some space because of… today… But then Abby… We didn’t want you to be alone.

Kevin: Really. Who’s “we”?

Aaron: The proud Palmetto State Foxes’ Exy team. All of them. You know, Dan, Matt, Renee, Allison, Andrew and Neil, Nicky… Me.

once again, Kevin can’t help but stare, deeply surprised

Aaron: Andrew and the others will be back for the whole night, but for now, it’s my turn. I wanted to take the first “watch”, but Allison said she had business to do with you. And I’m not getting in the way of that woman.

Kevin honest-to-God snorts

Kevin: If by “business” she meant bullying me into buying this onesie shit, then you should have gotten in her way. I’m not doing that. It’s fucking dumb.

Aaron: Hey!

Kevin: Aaron Minyard, don’t tell me you’ve participated in this madness…

Aaron: So what if I have? It wasn’t exactly on purpose, but I got one. And you don’t. So really, who’s dumb here?

Kevin: What is it??

Aaron: Not telling you.

Kevin: C’mon…

Aaron: Nope. You can’t bribe me. I’m not telling you shit. However, what I can telling you, is that it feels kinda wrong that we all have a pajama and you don’t…

Kevin: Oh my God, fine! What did the others get?

Aaron: Well, besides Ally’s giraffe, we got a tiger, a dinosaur, a teddy bear, you’ve seen Nicky’s unicorn nonsense, and I’m not quite sure about Andrew’s… Oh, and Neil’s is a fox, obviously. That predictable dumbass.

Kevin: Okay, well, I want a fox too.

Aaron: No, Kevin, you can’t.

Kevin: What? Why not!?

Aaron: Because. Neil’s already got a fox. Do you want to be a copycat AND a predictable dumbass?

and so until 1 AM, Kevin and Aaron bicker about each of Kevin’s suggestions (a Palmetto Foxes onesie, a USC Trojans onesie, an Irish-themed onesie, a white fox onesie, a gray fox onesie, and so on…)

when Andrew, Neil and Nicky come back into the dorm, Kevin’s almost laid all the way down on his bed, his head resting on Aaron’s elbow, as Aaron is sitting right next to him, laptop propped on a pillow and his fingers scrolling away

Aaron looks at Andrew, sighs, and looks at Kevin

they nod to each other, before Aaron gets up to go back to his dorm

Kevin sits up correctly when Aaaron is gone and Andrew approaches

Kevin pretends not to notice and googles one more idea, “brown fox onesie”

as he scrolls down and down and down, Andrew looks over his shoulder

and points at one picture

Andrew: That one. Now go to bed. We’re getting up at ass-o’clock tomorrow.

for the third time this evening, Kevin is shocked

he does look at Andrew’s pick attentively, though, and decides to go with it

that night, even if images of Abby covered in blood plague him for at least an hour, Kevin falls asleep to the memory of Aaron’s skin against his cheek, which somehow translates into dreams of Kayleigh resting both her hands on his cheeks as they sit in a field of wildflowers

a couple of weeks later, Kevin doesn’t tell the team his onesie has arrived

but he is forced to admit it when, for Halloween, they organize a huge party for themselves only, where they decided to wear their pajamas as costumes for the night

Kevin feels so stupid in his outfit

he even had to buy a LARGE because he’s so fucking tall

but it still feels… comfy… warm… not so bad…

maybe this can work for him…

it’s only when he steps into the girls’ living room that a problem arises

Aaron: What the fuck is this.

Kevin: Hum… A brown fox? Technically, Neil’s is orange, so you can’t shit on me!

Aaron: That- That’s not a fox, Kevin! What the fuck.

Kevin: Okay, well what are you then?? A mutant mouse?

Aaron: What are you- Oh my God, you don’t know what Pokemons are.

with that, Aaron turns around and yells for his twin

Aaron: ANDREW JOSEPH FUCKING MINYARD. YOU DID THIS ON PURPOSE, DIDN’T YOU? YOU BASTARD.

he storms off yelling

Kevin only reunites with Aaron at the end of the night, on the girls’ balcony, both sober

Kevin: You know, for someone who pushed me so much to do this stupid thing, you’re not being very nice about it. I know you wanted me to be “original” or whatever, but it’s not like I look like Neil! Why are you so upset?

Aaron: Kevin. It’s not a fox.

Kevin: Oh for God sake’s Aaron, you-

Aaron: It’s a Pokemon, Kevin. They’re like little monsters, kind of, and it’s a videogame, but there’s anime, manga, and collectible cards and… I used to- I used to collect those. Before. I lost them, now, but see this? This is one of them. It’s the main Pokemon, actually. His name’s Pikachu.

Kevin: Okay… Who am I, then?

Aaron: You… You’re Eevee.

Kevin: And what’s “Eevee”…?

Aaron: Pikachu’s girlfriend.

and oh.

Oh.

Kevin: Andrew didn’t tell me… The little fucker. I thought- Sorry. I didn’t mean to be another pawn in one of Andrew’s little games. Why did he do that to you?

Aaron: I think you know why.

Kevin looked at Aaron

Aaron looked at Kevin

Kevin: Fuck.

Aaron: Yeah, that.

Kevin: What?

Aaron: Nothing!

Kevin: Aaron.

Aaron: Kevin.

Kevin slowly invaded Aaron’s space until his back touched the railing, and placed one hand on each side of the backliner

Aaron looked up at Kevin

Kevin looked down at Aaron

Kevin: Okay?

Aaron: Okay.

and Kevin grabbed Aaaron by the hoodie of his pajama, and pulled him close, closer, closer, closer, until their lips met, at last

it was a long-awaited kiss, a careful kiss, a kiss of home and yes and oh and warmth and safe

Kevin reluctantly pulled away and rested his forehead on top of Aaron’s, knowing they have very little time before the other Foxes found them snogging on the balcony like a goddamn cliché

Kevin: Aaron.

Aaron: Kevin.

Kevin: I’m gonna ask you something stupid, and you can’t punch me for it, okay?

Aaron: Fine, okay.

Kevin: Do you want to be the Pikachu… to my Eevee?

Aaron: YOU FUCKING MORON!

and with that, Kevin burst out laughing, as if the Foxes’ attention wasn’t already on them the second Aaron started yelling

Allison and Matt knowingly started whooping with their beers raised for a toast

Dan was facepalming hard, shaking her head, but smiling nonetheless

Renee smiled her genuine, angelic smile while clapping Nicky on the back as he choked on his drink

Neil, arms crossed, watched the scene unfold with contentment

and Andrew. Andrew had no reaction at all. at all.

he was looking at his nails, no knife in sight, no fucks given

which, in Andrew’s language, meant everything

and so that October 31st was one for the books, the books about the good days, the good feelings, the good memories

because the Foxes had those, too

Kevin Day had good days

Aaron Minyard had good days

Allison Reynolds and Renee Walker had good days

Dan Wilds and Matt Boyd had good days

Nicky Hemmick had good days

Neil Josten had good days

even Andrew Minyard had good days

God knows they deserve them

these onesies, as silly, as stupid, as corny, as childish as they may be, were a proof of that

a proof that the Palmetto State Foxes could be better, could do better, and could get better

[willowbird]

WIP GAME

I'm terrible and I miss half of these, but please always tag me in them because I love them. This time I was tagged by @paradoxolotl .

I am putting my except beneath the cut because it is SUPER SECRET KANDREIL and some people aren't allowed to read any of it yet. You know who you are. But also, I'm loving it so much that I wanna show EVERYONE like RIGHT NOW because I have ZERO impulse control. :)

“I have to go,” Neil heard himself say, the sound almost too distant to have believably come from his own lips.

“Neil.” Kevin’s tone was firmer now. He didn’t resist when Neil pulled away and turned to face him, but his bottle-green gaze was already set for a fight.

“It’s Jean. I have to go. Now.” He even took two steps toward the barracks, where he’d be able to suit up in some spare gear and leave without even climbing up to their tower suite to prepare.

Kevin intercepted him with one short sidestep, his hands coming out to rest heavily on Neil’s shoulders. “Neil,” he said again. “Michi and River are already on it. A couple of hours to clean up, eat breakfast, and get ready aren’t going to affect anything.”

“It’s Jean,” Neil hissed in return, feeling the vitriol of rage bubbling up from under his tongue. He didn’t give a shit if Kevin was the Crown Prince - no one was going to stop him from finding Jean. No one.

But Kevin didn’t waver. He merely squeezed Neil’s shoulders and met his eyes - green clashing with blue, unstoppable force meets immovable object.

“I know,” Kevin said quietly. “And you will go to him. But if you leave now, without preparing, you’ll worry Andrew and likely end up taking unnecessary risks that will delay you even further in getting to Jean.” Kevin’s hands moved from his shoulder to gently cup Neil’s face and the tension started to slowly seep from Neil’s spine almost against his will. By the time the rough pads of Kevin’s thumbs traced the high curve of his cheeks, Neil’s resolve had just about crumbled. It shattered completely when Kevin said, “Help us not lose you, Neil - that’s all we ask.”

Tada! I'm tagging @of-stars-and-moon @knox-knocks and @makebelieveanything and anyone else who wants to!

[thebookreader12345]

Family Gathering

Pairing: Kevin Atwater x reader

Summary: Y/N finally manages to convince Kevin to spend Christmas with her and her family, and seeing as its not really his thing, Y/N tries to make him feel as comfortable as possible

Requested: Yes, by anonymous

Warnings: none

Word Count: 1,249 Words

“Come on, Kevin,” I plead. “Ever since you sent Vinessa and Jordan to Texas, you haven’t had one single family-like celebration. My parents love you. My older brothers think you’re the coolest guy on the planet. My niece adores you. I don’t see what the problem is.”

“It’s just not my thing,” Kevin responded.

“It used to be your thing,” I counter. “When Jordan and Vinessa were here, you’d take celebrations very seriously. Look, I know it’s hard because you’re their older brother and you feel the need to protect them, but they’re somewhere safe now. And if they were here, they’d want you to go out and have some fun.”

Kevin sighed. “I don’t know, Y/N.”

“I’ll make a deal with you. If you come along and feel uncomfortable, then you can go home. Just please at least say hello to everyone. They miss seeing you,” I tell him.

“Fine. I’ll go over to your family’s house for Christmas,” Kevin spoke.

“Yay! Thanks, Kev. This means a lot to me,” I say and give him a hug, enjoying the feeling of his embrace. 

“I’m only doing it for your mom’s peach cobbler,” Kevin joked and squeezed me lightly.

“If you eat 3 pieces again this year, you’re going to get beat up by my brothers,” I exclaim.

“I can’t help that your mother’s baking is amazing,” Kevin stated.

I laughed. “I’ll just ask her to make one for us to take home. That way, you can eat without being threatened.”

........................................

Today was the day. Kevin and I were going to leave for my parents house in a few minutes. I was really happy that Kevin agreed to come with me. I loved getting to bring him to family gatherings because everyone loved him, and I just wanted him to feel like he was apart of my family.

“Kev, you ready?” I call out.

“Yeah,” Kevin replied and exited the bedroom. “I’m ready to head out when you are.”

“Well, I’m all set to go. We can head out now,” I tell him. Kevin and I then both grabbed our coats and made our way to the car. Now, let me give you a quick rundown of my family, because there were a lot of us, and sometimes things could get confusing.

First, there were my parents, Andrew and Stephanie, who were both amazing. I mean, they raised me and both of my older brothers, and we were all a handful. Then you had their eldest son, my oldest brother, Aaron, who was married to Lucy, and they had one daughter, Willow. Willow was the sweetest thing, and she obviously took after her mother. I’m just kidding. Aaron is the nicest guy ever. Even when we were growing up, he was rarely mean. After them you have the middle child in my family, Carson, who got married to Halle about a year ago. Carson was the sneaky child when we were younger, but he grew out of that phase a long time ago, and in college, he met his now wife Halle, who was beyond amazing. Then, of course, there was me, the youngest L/N child and only girl. Was it hard growing up with two brothers? Of course. But I loved it. 

It didn’t take long for us to get to my parent’s house because they only lived about 10 minutes away. When I climbed out of the car, I shivered and pulled my coat closer to my body. I loved Chicago with all my heart, but I hated the cold weather. Kevin and I made our way around the snow covered grass, and after we walked up the steps of the porch, I rang the doorbell. It only took a few seconds for the door to open, revealing my mother.

“Hey, mom,” I greet.

“There’s my little girl. And you brought Kevin! It’s so nice to see you,” my mother said and gave him a hug.

“It’s nice to see you too. Thanks again for having me over,” Kevin spoke.

“Of course. You’re going to be the father or my grandkids one day so-”

I cut my mother off. “Mom! Don’t you have some cooking to do?”

“Okay. I’ll leave you alone,” my mother confirmed and moved out of the way to let us inside. As soon as we were inside, we were met by Carson.

“What’s up, Kevin?” Carson asked and fist bumped my boyfriend.

“Nothing much. Lots of work,” Kevin responded.

“Hey! Is that Kevin I hear?” Aaron called out from the next room.

“No, you don’t hear my boyfriend,” I reply sarcastically. Seconds later, Aaron emerged from the next room, and when he saw Kevin, he smiled. See, I told you my brothers loved him. “Hey,” I murmur and turn to Kevin. “I’m going to help my mom with the food. You gonna be good here?”

Kevin nodded. “Yeah. I’ll be fine.” I then pressed a quick kiss to his cheek and made my way into the kitchen where my mother was preparing food. A while later, it was finally time to eat, so everyone situated themselves at the table. Kevin and I took seats next to each other, and he placed a comforting hand on my thigh.

“So, Kevin, how’s work been?” my father asked.

“Work is good. We’ve been solving cases like crazy lately, which is good because that’s the reason we were able to get off this week,” Kevin informed my family.

“And you’re keeping Y/N safe, right?” Aaron questioned.

“Well, I’m not her partner, so I can’t keep her safe all the time, but when we’re together, I make it my number one priority,” Kevin responded and gave me a small smile.

“I do have one question,” my mother spoke. “When’s the wedding?”

“Mom, we’ve only been together for two years,” I point out.

“Yes, but your father and I were together for two and a half years before we got married,” my mother said.

“This isn’t like the 1970′s mom,” I counter, earning a laugh from my brothers. Dinner tasted amazing, like always, and after chatting and hanging out for a few hours, it was time for Kevin and I to head out.

“Bye Kevin!” my niece Willow shouted and hugged Kevin’s legs. 

“Bye, Willow. Can we do our secret handshake before I go?” Kevin asked. Willow nodded eagerly, and the two performed a handshake full of complex moves.

“I’ll talk to you guys later,” I tell my family as Kevin and I made our way towards the door. As soon as I walked outside with the peach cobbler in my hands, I stepped into about a foot of snow, which went up past my ankle. I guess it had snowed a decent amount while we were inside.

“Let me help,” Kevin muttered and scooped me up into his arms like I weighed nothing. Kevin was on the taller side, so the snow did not affect him as much as it did me. He effortlessly carried me to the drivers side of my car where he set me down. 

“Hey. Thanks again for coming tonight. It means a lot to me,” I exclaim.

“I had fun. And you were right. Ever since I sent Vinessa and Jordan to Texas, I haven’t been the same me that I used to. But that’s going to change. I promise,” Kevin stated.

“Good. Now, I say we get home and eat some of this peach cobbler,” I say.

Kevin smiled. “Sounds perfect. Lets go.”

______________________

Tag List:

@prettypyschoinpink @securityfriendly-jay @scarletsoldierrr @lorenakaspersen @virtualreader @carnationworld @caitsymichelle13

[abraxos-is-toothless]

healing and feeling

My @aftgexchange gift for @bayta-darell !!! I’m so sorry that this is late, I went to post at the beginning of the posting week but I couldn’t find it anywhere. I’ve spent the week doing a rewrite. There was more of it (Kevin and Neil having a discussion) but I just wanted you to get something rather than nothing. I really hope you like it. A general foxes type fic where they do some healing.  Canon warnings apply- mentioned not detailed.

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Twenty minutes. Twenty whole minutes it took of the foxes remaining silent for Betsy Dobson to realise she’d have to make the first move if she wanted to make any progress at all here today.

“David first suggested this for you all once before and you refused, which I respected. I will not force anyone to talk until they are ready. But you’re all here today and I feel I should ask the nine of you, why now?”

Aaron watched as everyone not-so-subtly shifted their eyes to look at Josten who opened his mouth as if to speak before closing it again. He pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them from where he sat on the floor by Andrew’s chair. There was a space next to Boyd on the plush yellow couch but well...

“This is the second time this week Neil has almost stabbed one of us.” Ah, Reynolds. Always making sure she got straight to the point. Matt glared at her, muscled arms crossed over his chest.

“I said it was fine, I startled him-”

“It damn well isn’t fine, Matt! Were you not a boxer with some good reflexes, he could have done some serious damage.”

Aaron watched them argue back and forth until Betsy politely cleared her throat, her calm, soothing smile never once leaving her face.  He admired the woman, he truly did; he couldn’t imagine dealing with people’s shit all day and managing to still look sane and collected. His own mind was enough of an asshole as it was. “I’m glad that we’ve gotten to why you’re all here, but I’d like for us to remain civil in these sessions. Talking about such things can be straining and I want you to remember you’re a team, that you’re friends.” Matt nodded and threw Neil a small smile and Allison simply flicked her hand, bright red nails catching in the sunlight streaming through the window. Aaron caught Neil bringing a hand up to rub at the scarring on his face but then Andrew’s hand came down to hold the back of his neck, thumb rubbing back and forth carefully and the tension Neil was holding in his shoulders eased up. His twin met his stare without faltering and simply raised a pale brow at him, as if daring him to comment. Aaron kept his mouth shut and turned back to Betsy. “Now Neil, would you be able to tell us what might have brought on these outbursts of violence?”

“I’ve always been this way, thanks to my mother.” Aaron saw Andrew’s jaw clench at the mention of Mary Wesninski; he knew well enough how his brother felt about abusive mothers. “But this is different. We lost our most recent game. We’re falling behind a little and if we don’t win the next game, we don’t get to progress any further.” Aaron couldn’t stop his mouth from moving, even if he had tried to.

“You’re telling me that Boyd almost got stabbed because we lost a game? Are you serious right now? It’s not the end of the fucking world!”

“It is for me!” He stopped and said nothing more, turning his face away from them all, ignoring their looks of confusion. He knew Josten loved Exy as much as Kevin, but he didn’t think such a thing was enough to stab someone over. Kevin sighed, eyes closing before he put his head in his hands. Neil’s jaw clenched and he stood abruptly, walking towards the door, Andrew following just a few seconds after. Betsy, bless her heart, she tried to reason with two of the most stubborn beings on the planet.

“Neil, maybe you’re not quite ready to talk, but we’ve only just-”

“I apologise, Dr. Dobson, but I can’t talk with you in the room. Anything regarding that part of my life cannot be discussed outside of the people who already know. I do not wish to implicate you.” The woman wrote a few things down; the scratch of the pen was loud to Aaron’s ears.

“Very well, then. Let David know when you’re all ready to come back, and we’ll schedule something between classes and practice.” Neil and Andrew disappeared out of the door and Aaron and the rest were quick to follow, but not before Renee, ever the peacekeeper, gave the woman a gentle smile and told her they’d see her next week. As if she alone could wrangle them all into another session. He made his way over to the mas with Nicky and Kevin, where Neil and Andrew waited, sharing a cigarette between them, and the upperclassmen left ahead of them in Matt’s truck. No one spoke until they were all in the car and on the move, and of course, it was Kevin.

“This isn’t a good idea.” Nicky leaned across the seats and over Aaron to bat at Kevin with one hand, all the while texting Erik on his phone in the other.

“Shut up. You don’t think that anything is ever a good idea unless it’s one of your ideas.”

“Neil I really don’t-”

“Enough, Kevin. I’m telling them and that’s final. I should have told them all anyway.” Kevin sat back with a huff and Aaron rolled his eyes at the idiot’s dramatics, staring out the window for the rest of the unusually quiet drive back to fox tower, except for the clicking of Nicky’s phone and the quiet giggles he would let out at whatever he and his fiancé were talking about. When they got there, Andrew found the closest parking spot to the building that he could, because his brother preferred not to do any more exercise than being an Exy player forced him to. The others hadn’t waited for them, not that Aaron thought they would have, but he thought at least Allison would have been standing at the doors so Neil couldn’t slip away and get out of telling them anything. 

They hadn’t, however, stopped themselves from taking over Aaron’s old dorm room he shared with the rest of the ‘monsters’ before he moved to Matt’s. Dan and Matt were sitting together on the couch, the former tucked into the latter’s side, Allison was lounging in a beanbag while she inspected her nails and Renee was sitting on the floor in front of the small and worn table, sorting Nicky’s nail polishes into some sort of order. “Now that you’re here,” Allison said without even bothering to glance in their direction, “let’s get to this secret you’ve been keeping from us, shall we?” Aaron watched Andrew move over to the window to sit on the sill, lighting up another cigarette. He knew there was no need to worry about the smoke alarm because Andrew had taken it out from the first day they moved into the room. It was clear he wasn’t bothered by any of this, at least Aaron didn’t think he was, which means either he knew what Neil was going to tell them all, or he had guessed early on and hadn’t pushed for a definite answer just yet. 

Kevin sat down in the other bean bag, although with how tall he was, he seemed to dwarf the bag. The sight was odd, considering that caused him to slouch more than a chair or the couch would have, something he would moan at the rest of them for when they did it. Nicky sat himself next to Renee, gushing over how she’d organised all of his colours, nodding so enthusiastically that his messy brown curls bobbed with the movement. Aaron went to lean against the wall closest to Andrew, who didn’t acknowledge him other than glancing at him out of the corner of his eye. They were better than they were before, Aaron actually managed to have whole conversations with his brother now and he was no longer hostile towards Katelyn, letting her come along sometimes when they went to Sweeties and Eden’s. He knew it would take time to have some sort of a stable relationship with Andrew but they were trying, and that was okay for now. 

Neil stood in front of them all, hands in the PSU foxes hoodie he wore, barely any emotion on his face, as he always was. No wonder he and Andrew worked so well together, Aaron thought, internally rolling his eyes. He got straight to it. “After Nathan was killed, all his debts with the Moriyamas fell onto me. The money my mother took when she decided that we should run belonged to them. In Ichirou’s eyes, they still own Kevin and Jean too.”

“What does this have to do with you turning into a murderous little rage machine?” Matt rolled his eyes at Allison. 

“I made a deal with Ichirou.” Dan dropped her head into her hands while Nicky made a choked off sound. Aaron was tired of Josten making dumb decisions and not telling them. This is what happened when the fucking idiot ended up at Baltimore. “I wanted something and to get him to give in to that, I said he could have the majority of our earnings when we went pro.”

“Wait.” Neil turned his head towards Kevin, who was outwardly confused now. “You said he wanted a take of what we earned, that I knew. But you didn’t say it was in exchange for something, what did he give you?”

“I wanted Riko dealt with and he was.” Aaron’s eyes widened at that, as did the others in the room. Kevin went deathly pale and he stood slowly, looking at Neil as if he didn’t even know him. He opened and closed his mouth several times before he gave up and disappeared to his room without a word. Aaron had a feeling there was a bottle of vodka waiting for him to drown his sorrows in. Allison looked mildly impressed. 

“We all knew the suicide story was suspicious, but I didn’t think you had it in you.”

“I wanted him to pay for what he did. I walked out of that room and I laughed. But that’s why the nightmares have kicked in and I’ve picked up old habits, like sleeping with a weapon under my pillow. If Ichirou notices any slack, he will kill me.” Aaron looked to Andrew again, and his brother was staring back at Neil, as if waiting for him to fall apart. Dan stood, determination on her face and a fire in her eyes. 

“Then we help you stay on top of the game. We’ll fit in an extra practice a week and on the free period you share with Matt, he can discuss drills with you.” Aaron saw Matt smile and nod, receiving a dip of Neil’s head in return. “We’ll tell Coach that we’ll have an evening a week at the court, watching old games and seeing what we can take from them. No one gets to ruin this for you, they don’t get to take anything else.”

Nicky whooped and got up to hug Neil quickly, after he got the consent for one. Aaron wasn’t too happy about all this extra work for a sport he wasn’t even that bothered by, but he supposed he owed Neil this. After all, he was the one, no matter how stupidly he went about it, that finally managed their rag tag group work as a team and to become friends. He brought them together, and so Aaron would do this

So that they could stay together. 

~~~~~

They did get better over the weeks, and they won their next game, letting them progress further into this season. 

The session with Betsy continued, though progress on that front was slow going to begin with. Neil’s confession had broken the ice, and each of them would discuss assignments they were struggling with or the odd everyday problems life gave you. Betsy never pushed them, allowing them to get used to talking first before she tried diving for issues hidden deeper down. 

After a few weeks, Allison discussed her parents when she had gotten a phone call from her mother out of the blue. Apparently, they had started to notice how the foxes were on the up and up, and how much more media attention they were getting. Allison’s mother wanted to use her daughter for her own gain, to get their businesses promoted through the foxes and for Allison to start building their incomes through Exy. Aaron didn’t understand a lot of it, other than that his teammate’s parents were some of the most self centred assholes on the planet. After all this time, they hadn’t gotten in contact with Allison to see how she was or to ask about working on their own family issues, but just to see how they could make life better for them. The blonde had said in the one session that she finally told them where they could stick it, and if they wanted to cut her off from the money they could. If they didn’t want to love her as parents should, then she wanted nothing to do with them. 

When Allison ended her rant with the words ‘fuck them’, the foxes repeated them- even Andrew, to everyone’s surprise -loud and clear. Betsy tried to be reprimanding, but Aaron could see she was proud and trying valiantly to not smile with them. 

~~~~~

Some months or so after that, Aaron was attending one of his sessions where it was just him and Andrew. It was coming up to a year now since they’d first started these double sessions with Betsy, and he wasn’t ashamed to admit he liked coming to them. Yes, sometimes it was bad and they’d end then arguing heatedly, or sometimes, it would leave them exhausted but content that they were managing to get on to the same page with each other. And other times, well, those times managed to bring their walls crashing down. 

Today was one of those times. 

“Aaron, you don't look as if you’re well. Is everything alright? If you’re unable to sit through this one, you may go back and rest if you like.” He knew he must look like shit, after the night he’d had with his mind torturing him, but he felt as if this is why he’d been so plagued by nightmares the last few nights. Like Andrew had to know about them. 

“Nightmares.” His throat felt raw and scratchy, but he supposed that was normal when you wake yourself up by screaming yourself hoarse. 

“Are you able to tell us what they were or about?” He nodded, turning on the couch so he was angled to the left, making it easier for him to look directly at Andrew. His brother seemed unfazed as he usually did, but Aaron thought there was something different about him today, though he didn’t quite know exactly what was different. Maybe he felt like today was going to be better for them, too. 

“I thought I was already awake, because I was walking around the house in Columbia. It was too quiet, and the house was dark, and it was almost as if I could feel the shadows closing in around my shoulders.” He breathing became ragged and clenched a fist where his hand rested on his thigh. “I thought I heard glass smash and the sound of a thud, like something had hit the hardwood floor. It was muffled, coming from upstairs so I followed the sounds.” He closed his eyes and swallowed hard; it was like he was back in the nightmare and he couldn’t get out. 

“Aaron? Aaron, you can stop if you want to.” He shook his head, feeling part of his hair fall onto his forehead. 

“The noise was louder up there, coming from your room.” He opened his eyes again, catching his brother’s gaze, hazel eyes that matched his own. And they knew, they knew where Aaron’s nightmare was leading them, yet he didn’t flinch away. “I opened the door and it was back to that day, and Drake…” Andrew did not outwardly show any reaction to the name of his abuser, though Aaron saw his fingers stray to the edge of his armband. As if it soothed him to know he had a way to keep himself safe. “When I tried to get in there, it was like there was an invisible barrier in front of me. No matter how hard I kept hitting it, it never went away. I kept screaming at you, to look at me, so you’d know I was right there but there was nothing.” His cheeks felt wet and brought a hand up to find that those were tears running down his cheeks. 

Andrew’s eyes had widened, and the hand that was holding his armband started to drift towards Aaron, but stopped just shy of making contact. He took a few deep breaths before he felt like he could go on. “I closed my eyes after a while but I didn’t stop trying to get to you. Then all of a sudden I could hear laughing, and when I opened my eyes, I was back in that shitty apartment, before you came and Tilda had locked me in the closet. She had her Junkie friends over doing all sorts of shit, music on as high as possible.” He felt like he could breathe, as though someone kept on piling invisible weights on his chest, one after the other. “I had one toy, a couple of granola bars and a bottle of Gatorade, of all things. No matter how loud I shouted for her, she never came to let me out. I woke up screaming after that, scared Katelyn half to death.”  He’d kept his gaze on the floor when talking about his mother, knowing she was a touchy subject between them. 

There was a quick tap to his knee and, a bit reluctantly, he lifted his head to look at Andrew again. His brother was breathing a little heavier, and Aaron could see the way his chest moved. There was more emotion on his face than he’d ever seen. When he was on the meds it was different, it was just a constant sort of forced excitement. This was real and this was Andrew. His twin. “I’m going to hug you, yes or no?” Aaron almost choked on air at the words. Words he’d never expected to leave Andrew’s mouth. He saw Betsy falter just a little out of the corner of his eye, her own stalling from where she was writing things down. 

“Yes.” Then slowly, carefully, Andrew shifted forward so he could pull Aaron into him. His arms went around Aaron’s back, and he hesitated just a little before doing the same. Their cheeks rested against each other and when Andrew spoke next, Aaron could feel the words against his ear. 

“We’re okay, you hear me? Both of us. We’re a little bit broken, but we’re doing okay.” Aaron nodded, taking a stuttered breath. And if the two of them, the same yet not the same, held onto each other for just a little longer then that was just fine. 

They were just okay.

---------

Again, I’m sorry about the lateness! Hope you liked it:)) I’m also sorry it’s not as long as it was, but trying to remember everything to rewrite was so difficult.

[kevindayisafrog]

Part 4 of the Kevaaron thing (does it need a name??)

Don’t expect this to be good, I have the imagination of a pebble

TW - R*ko and anxiety

“I told you not to come in today”, Wymack stood up straight as he saw his son walk into the room behind Andrew and Neil. “He’s stubborn, what did you expect?” Neil rolled his eyes and followed Andrew to their couch. “I’m fine to play”, Kevin didn’t look up from the floor when he spoke, he didn’t want to look anyone in the eye. “Fine, but if it gets too much for you then you come straight off”, Wymack stared at Kevin a little longer until Kevin gave a small nod. “Why are you moping? You should be celebrating Riko’s death”, Allison frowned across the room as she rested her head on Renee’s shoulder. “Shut up”, Wymack glared at Allison after watching Kevin wince at her words. “Anyway, I just wanted to quickly say that I’m proud of you for winning, etcetera, etcetera and that this doesn’t mean that you get a day off just because you won the championships. You still need practice”, he shot Nicky a ‘shut-up’ face as he groaned and tried to protest. “Now that we’re all happily on the same page, get changed and get on the court before I make you do extra laps”. He nodded to the Foxes as they groaned and left the lounge, all but Kevin and Aaron. “Are you deaf? I said move it” Wymack clicked his fingers at the two but Abby slapped his hand away and made it over to the remaining Foxes. “Aaron, why don’t you go get changed. I’ll send Kevin in in a moment”, she smiled at Aaron who flicked a side eye at Kevin before nodding and leaving the room. Abby waited for Aaron to leave before crouching down in front of Kevin and squeezing his thigh. “How are you today?” her voice was soft and Kevin had to look away to stop himself from rolling his eyes. “I’m fine” he murmured whilst picking at the scar on his left hand - the scar that was proof that Kevin should be glad of Riko’s death, but was a reminder of how he let Riko down. “You’re not Neil, so you can’t get away with ‘I’m fine’. How are you really?” she pulled his hands apart and squeezed them lightly as Kevin bit his lip. “I don’t know”, he finally answered. “That’s okay, you don’t need to know how to feel right now. As long as you give yourself time to process everything”, she watched as Kevin frowned and bit his lip harder. “It doesn’t feel okay”, he barely whispered and cleared his throat. “No, I know. But just allow yourself to feel something”, Kevin didn’t let her finish as he shrugged her hands off and left the room.

He felt his cheeks flush and the room felt unbearably hot with the weight of her stare. He hated when people tried to make him feel things, it always ended the same way with him locked away in the bathroom alone. The same dead weight in his lungs. He pushed the locker room door open and breathed deeply to try to even out his breaths. He didn’t look up at the others on his way to his locker, just walked past and watched himself wring his hands. He swung open his locker and used the door to hide himself as he leaned his head on the cold metal. All he needed to do was keep himself together for the next four hours and then he was free to hide in his bed until morning. “Are you getting ready or not?” he looked down at Aaron’s pint sized body leaning on the row of lockers. He didn’t answer as he rifled through his locker to pull out his kit. He felt the room burn hotter as Aaron’s stare burned into the side of his head. “Can you stop fucking looking at me!” He slammed his locker shut and stormed away to get changed with the others. He ignored Matt’s question and Nicky’s confused stare as he tried to change as quickly as he could. He watched out of the corner of his eye as Aaron left the locker room and slammed the door behind him. “What happened there?” Matt whispered loudly to Nicky and Kevin felt a muscle twitch in his temple. “Mind your fucking business”, he glared at Matt before turning back to clip on his neck guard. His breathing became shallower and his fingers were trembling over the clip; his temper growing worse as each second passed. He gave up and threw the guard onto the floor as Matt and Nicky left for the court. “We don’t have time for your tantrums”, Neil threw the guard back at Kevin and followed Andrew out of the locker room. Kevin felt his legs wobble beneath him as the numb feeling trailed up his body. “Four hours. Keep it together for just four fucking hours”, he whispered to himself as he clipped the neck guard in place. He pulled on his top and walked out of the locker room whilst strapping his gloves on. “It’s about time”, Matt shouted as Kevin picked up his racket and walked onto the court. He felt his body itch all over as everyone stared at him expectantly. “Are we playing or what?” He stared them all down before making his way across the court to stand beside Neil. He looked up as the others started to move into place and caught eyes with Aaron. He opened his mouth to say something but Aaron just looked away and fiddled with his racket. He turned to stare at the target goal in front of him and decided that it didn’t fucking matter if the others hated him. Nothing really mattered anymore.

The game passed as it always did: arguments, fights and Kevin lecturing Neil on how to be a better striker. When Wymack called practice to an end Kevin went to argue but was just waved off to get changed. He forgot about everything for just a while and kept his head in the game; no feelings and no thoughts invading his mind. He dragged himself to the changing room and pulled off his sticky clothes. He grabbed a towel and went into an empty shower cubicle, locking the door with a sigh. He turned the water on and rested his head on the back wall, letting the water run down himself without interference. He heard Nicky talking over the water to Matt and heard Neil’s light humming, wondering how each of them got to where they were today. He let himself get wrapped up in their lives to distract himself from his own as the shower water slowly turned cold against his skin. “Have you drowned?” Nicky knocked on the door and wiggled his foot under the door. “Fuck off”, Kevin kicked his foot away and turned off the shower. “I can help you dry if you’d like”, he could hear Nicky’s giggle behind the door and Aaron groan from the next room. “I said fuck off”, he dried himself and pulled on his underwear and jeans before unlocking the door. “I was hoping you’d be in just a towel”, Nicky winked at him before rounding the corner to join Neil and Andrew at the door. “Perv”, Aaron muttered as he finished pulling on a baggy hoodie. Kevin hesitated to watch Aaron for a second before clearing his throat and throwing his dirty kit into the laundry pile. “We’ll meet you in the car”, Nicky waved at Aaron and Kevin before following the others out into the corridor. Kevin pulled on his Palmetto hoodie and watched Aaron tying his shoes. “So you’re allowed to stare and I’m not”, Aaron pulled his laces once more before sighing and looking up at Kevin. “I’m not staring”, Kevin slipped on his faded black boots and headed for the door. “I’m waiting”, Aaron followed Kevin into the corridor. “For what?” he looked down at Aaron with a frown. “For my apology”. Kevin snorted and shook his head, “you can wait all night”. They walked past Wymack’s office as he nodded a goodnight to them before turning back to his paper work. “I’m sorry for lashing out”, Kevin spoke so quietly that Aaron wasn’t sure if he heard him right. “I’m sorry, did I just get an apology from Kevin Day”, Aaron stopped walking and placed a hand over his heart. “Don’t expect another one”, Kevin stared over his shoulder at Aaron but didn’t slow down on his way to the door. He pushed it open and relaxed as the cool night air hit him. “Fuck it’s cold”, Aaron muttered behind Kevin as he pushed past to leave. Kevin watched Aaron’s small frame hunch over to keep the cold out as he made his way over to the car. He grabbed a fistful of his own hoodie and wondered what would happen if he offered Aaron the hoodie. He stared as the monsters climbed into the car as if he were a spectator of this small group of misfits. Why did he want to see Aaron curled up in his hoodie? He stared until Andrew honked the horn and walked over whilst reminding himself of Thea’s smile and Riko’s threats. He couldn’t allow himself to name his feelings. He’ll only end up alone on the bathroom floor.

[91percentpynch]

lonely heart - kevaaron au pt 4

oh look it‘s me, coming out of my dark hole to make you suffer with a super sad chapter with a nasty cliffhanger:) so get your tissues ready and enjoy!! okay first of all sorry that i didn‘t update this in a g e s and that it‘s rather short and for the cliffhanger, but i‘ll try to update it more regularly now:)

check this out for the other parts:)

trigger warnings: drug abuse, mention of suicide, mention of mental health issues, very sad aaron, mention of blood

“You were too good for me”, Aaron whispered into the void. “You were way too fucking good for me. You made me a better man. And I fucked up”

Aaron got up as he felt the tears burning in his eyes. He knew he wouldn‘t be able to sleep alone tonight. Like every single goddamn night since he left Kevin. Like every single goddamn night since he made the biggest mistake of his life.

„Taylor?“, the blonde haired boy murmered, „You up?“

„Babe, you know I‘m up. My girlfriend lives three states away, we talk every single day at the same time as you call your man. Not that I would be able to sleep when you call him, cause a) i love Day and b) you‘re always sad and high and end up in my room anygays, so did he take the phone darling?“

Taylor was Aaron‘s roommate and the closest thing he had to a best friend. She had been there for him every single day, cuddled him, held him while he cried and dried his tears afterwards. And Aaron did the same when she misssed her girlfriend too much.

„You do realize he is not my man anymore, I fucked that up. Big time. He did actually take the phone just to tell me to fuck off and stop calling“

„You could always go over there and say it in his pretty face. Didn’t say you can’t come over did he?Pro point: Might lead to making out“, Taylor said while taking him in her arms. „Plus another pro point: you‘d get sober again. And you‘re less moody. No offense but a Kevin-less Aaron is hardly managable, like you‘re either a whiny little bitch or you‘ll give me the death glare of the cenutry. Legit worse than Andrew‘s and I called him a cute little baby boo once when I was drunk and he almost stabbed me right there with a look on his face like I just murdered Neil in front of him“

„Tay, I take that as a compliment. And we both know Kevin’s a bit of a dumbass so he did not exactly tell me Not To Come over just stopp calling. Anyways I don‘t even know where he lives. And stop talking about me getting high, you do the same shit“

„Yeah but I know my limits and I have not the same history as you. And for the i DoN‘t EvEn KnOwS wHeRe He LiVeS, phone number. Now“

„O- okay“, Aaron said and told her Kevin‘s phone number while Taylor calmingly stroked his back.

„Neat, got him“, Taylor said after a while. „He‘s with the scary big dude and his adorable little boyfriend I think? I have their address right here, I think we‘re gonna visit them tomorrow cause it‘s like 4 am right now and we don‘t wanna rob him his beauty sleep plus we don‘t want to wake the scary big dude. And I‘m pretty sure the adorable small golden retriver boy could and would stab us“

„Did you just stalk my ex and located his phone at 4 am like fucking Garcias in Criminal Minds?“, Aaron said confused.

„Anything for you big guy. And as I said I miss Day‘s pretty face, preferably in your pretty face so you shut the fuck up about how stressed and depressed and lonely you are.“, Taylor chuckled as Aaron looked at her shocked.

„Well I miss Casey, preferable in your face so YOU shut up“, Aaron was never as good in witty remarks as his brother. Especially high Aaron.

„Babe I think it‘s time for you to go to bed, you‘re not fun when you‘re sad, high and tired. Come here, let me cuddle you, while you whiney little bitch sleep“

Aaron slowly went over to Taylor and into her loving arms, laying down, trying to fall asleep.

After a long while aaron drifted into sleep, just to be greeted by familiar smaragd eyes. In his dream Kevin and he never broke up. Kevin was on top of him, his hands gently discovered Aaron‘s body, touching him as if he was sacred, something to worship. Kevin‘s lips were at Aaron‘s ear whispering sweet nothingness. Aaron‘s hips moved against Kevin‘s loving touch. „Stress release“ Kevin called these holy moments in dawn. „Highlight of my day“ Aaron called them.

The dream was as beautiful as it was cruel. It was as if his body, his mind were as much refusing as able to believe that Kevin was gone. It was his own fault, Aaron knew it. But the ever present voice of his mother, disapproving and disgusting, in his head was just too much for him to handle. He thought - foolish as Aaron was - that the pain of living without Kevin would be better, less cruel, less painful. But he never knew real love and therefore never experienced its lost. Until that faitful day. Until Kevin took his bags and left.

Aaron was used to pain. The hot one after an extraordinarily vicious hit. The cold one when his mother died. The numbing one when the hunger was growing more and more unbareable. But nothing was even slightly as hard to handle as the loss of Kevin in his life.

Kevin was the first good thing Aaron had. He gave him a will to stay, to try, to give this stupid sport everything he got. And Exy turned into more mundane things like getting his eating routine under control or getting a more or less acceptable sleeping schedule. The dark days were still there, for both of them, and they would probably never leave them completely alone, but they got less. And when they did happen they would hold each other together.

Ever since he fucked up things with Kevin, Aaron had more and more dark days. The voice of his mother telling him he‘s a failure, the bored stare of his brother and Aaron convincing himself Andrew wouldn‘t even bet an eye if he died, the voice telling him the world would be a better place without him growing louder and lourder every passing day.

Logically he could say that the death of a single person wouldn‘t change much for the over all world population, expect maybe it‘s some kind of insane mademan dicator or someone important, but still. It made sense. All he did after all was fucking up, being a failure, never good enough, never perfect.

His lonely heart only screamed Kevin‘s name and he knew if Kevin didn‘t take him back, his life wouldn‘t make much sense anymore. Well he would definetly not tell Kevin that. He would not manipulate Kevin into loving him, because that wouldn‘t be much better than not having him at all.

Aaron woke up the next day around noon. He didn‘t really feel like getting up, like getting up was simply too much. But Aaron knew he had to. He didn‘t want to worry Taylor more than he already did. And it would end today. One way or the other.

So he got up, put on the first pair of black jeans he could find and the first sweater his hands could find. Ironically it was one of the sweaters Kevin gave him, on the third of december last year. It was one of Aaron‘s favourites as well.

„Ready for the big Day, small guy?“, Taylor said winking at him.

„Not really? What the fuck am I supposed to do there anyways?“, Aaron replied on his way to the coffee maker.

„Talk to him? Deliver one of those borderline cringe big speeches. Get im flowers. Break into his bedroom and say ‚Draw me like one of your french girls‘, naked of course“, Taylor laughed at the face Aaron made, listening to her suggestions.

„I think I like the big speech. I mean I‘m shit with words, but I‘m sure you want to help your boy getting ‚his man‘ back, right? Also what kind of flowers would you give someone you dumped cause the voice of your dead mother told you it was wrong and disgusting, which you never told him for obvious reasons?“

„Honey, you‘re so fucked up sometimes, I love you but you should go to a therapist or something. Also I‘d say sunflowers or roses? I don‘t speak flowers man, I‘m the tech nerd. Not the romantic one, the nerd. But we‘re gonna make a snazzy speech and you‘re gonna get your man back“

After their typical breakfast - if Aaron didn‘t forget to eat again - they sat down together on the living room floor, paper and pen ready, trying to write the world changing speech.

„Why is this so fucking hard? Why can I only tell him how much I love and miss him when I‘m high off my ass“, Aaron complained.

„What about you don‘t think about him that much. Just tell me what you love about him and then we write that down?“, Taylor suggested.

Aaron took a deep breathe and closed his eyes. „I loved him because he was the first one who saw me. Aaron Minyard. And not just the other Minyard, the lesser twin, the shadow of Andrew. He looked at me and somehow chose me. Even if he could have had everyone else. He chose me, even though I‘m not special. Kevin chose the failure when he could have had the first prize. He looked at me and saw something worth loving, worth keeping around. Hardly anyone could tell Andrew and me apart. But it took him less than a day to do so. Kevin is strong, so so strong and somehow chose the most fragile thing he could find, took it and made it worth soemthing. Kevin made me feel something. Not numbness. Not pain. Something warm and beautiful and living. He gave me a reason to stay alive. Kevin made my life bearable, he made my life beautiful. We were both broken and we would probably still be broken if we were together but we softened each other‘s edges. Kevin believed in me when no one else would. He knew how I felt, knew what I needed and when I needed it. Kev gave me love and safety and I kicked it with my feet. This man is like a god who fell for whatever reasons for a homeless man. And I know I don‘t deserve him but I also know I cannot live without him. And I know that I must tell him that before it‘s too late. If it‘s not too late already“

Taylor wipped a tear out of her eyes. „That‘s it. You tell him that and we‘ll get him back“, she said. „Can I hug you?“

„Sure you loser“

„Ah there is my boy“

They spent the rest of the afternoon writing down the speech, making edits here and there. In the end Aaron collected the pages and went to his room to change. He replaced Kevin‘s sweater with a simple black jumper, put on his Docs, got his keys and left.

Aaro did feel a little uncomfortable, stalking Kevin like that. But he knew this was his chance to fix things. This was his chance to get Kevin back, to make his life worth living again. Which to be fair was a bit selfish, but you are allowed to be a little selfish sometimes, aren‘t you?

Jean and Jeremy‘s apartment complex was a 15 minute drive away from the flat Aaron shared with his three roommates. Theirs was fanzier, obviously. After all Jeremy was a professional Exy player and Jean was some kind of semi famous artist or fashion maker or whatever. They could give Kevin the world. They could give him what he desereved. All Aaron had to offer was an apology and his love. No money. Not yet anyway. Just anxiety, depression and stress.

But if Kevin was willing to take his love, to give Aaron one more chance, he promised himself Aaron would make it count. He will tell Kevin how much he loves Kevin every single god damn day. Aaron will get therapy and work on his issues. Sober up and this time for good. He will do anything to be worth of god‘s love. Just that god in his case was a twenty two year old boy with black hair, forming soft waves at the end and a smile that will make the sun jealous. Eyes made out of smaragd. Lips so sinful and kissable.

Aaron sat down in front of the door, waiting for his courage to come back to him. He could do this. He would get his man back.

Hours passed, or maybe it were only minutes or seconds after all before someone came closer. Ever so slowly Aaron lifted his head, just to look in the ever so familiar green eyes, big with shock.

„You said to stop calling. You never mentioned face to face conversations“, Aaron said, his voice hoarse.

Kevin stared at him as if he was a ghost, a reminder of his past life, something he rather wanted to forget.

„Look I know I fucked up. I know I‘m not good enough for you. I know you deserve the world and I cannot give it to you. And when you look me in the eyes and tell me you don‘t feel anything for me anymore, no love or hate or affection or whatever humans feel, I will turn away right now and go and never come back. Never bother you again. But if you allow me to apologize, if you however decide to gieve me one last chance, I prepared this whole ass speech for you“

Aaron was sure they could hear his heart beating against his chest, roaring, screaming to return home. To return to Kevin where it belonged.

Kevin‘s eyes wandered to the floor, his fingers automatically closed around his left wrist. A nervous habit. Just another little part that makes Aaron‘s heart ache.

Slowly, almost painfully slowly, he lifted those unbelieveable beautiful eyes and met Aaron‘s golden ones. Kevin studied him and the world around them stopped.

Out of the corner of Aaron‘s eyes he could see Jean going still, his breathing too calm, too even. It‘s the same thing Andrew does when someone fucks with Josten. At least his death would be fast. Or slow. Whatever. Aaron didn‘t really care, without Kevin it wasn‘t worth anygthing anyway.

„Why“, Kevin said after what feels like forever, „Why would I forgive you? Why would I give you another chance? Why would you think you can come back here just to fuck me over again? Aaron I loved you, I really did. I always will. You were my first love and maybe, yeah maybe, my last one. But right now I can‘t. I just, I just can‘t. Please leave. Please leave me alone. For now. Maybe, one day we can talk about it. But right now I cannot handle the thought of you to leave me. To tell me all these beautiful lies, to cut me open and leave me to bleed out. I love you“, tears were running down Kevin‘s cheek. Tears Aaron one day, a long time ago, promised himself he would never let Kevin feel again. Pain. Sadness. Everything because of his failure, because of his weakness, because he‘s a fucking piece of shit.

„Thank you for giving me a reason to stay. Jusst remember that you were my light, my warmth, my happiness and I never stopped loving you. Never will. Please just be happy“, Aaron replied as he turned around to walk to his cars.

When he was sure he was out of ear shot, he let himself feel. Feel the pain. Feel the loneliness. Feel the numbness and the cold and the hatred. It was in that moment, that moment where he was alone and nothing more to lose, that he decided that it was enough. He would end it. End it tonight.

„Thank you“, he texted Taylor. „I‘m glad I didn‘t eat you in the womb“, he texted Andrew. „You were not so bad after all“, he sent to Neil. And lastly „Thank you for taking me under your wing“, to Nicky. They would understand. It would take them some time but in the end they would feel better. They would be happier without them. Because at the end of the day he caused them pain and wasn‘t really worth a thing.

So when he got in his car, tears running uncontrallably down his cheeks, he knew what he had to do.

[captainfile]

Baby, Don’t Tread

Words: 2225 

Ao3 link 

Andreil-centric. Warnings for Andrew being nonverbal for unspecified reasons and Neil practicing some negative self-talk! Title and summary from “Tread On Me” by Matt Maeson.

Summary: I could hardly sleep, so I don’t And I could hardly speak, so I won’t

Andrew hadn’t moved in a few hours. Neil had returned from class to find him on the couch, a heavy textbook propped up between his stomach and thighs, socked feet tucked between two cushions. One of his legs was wobbling every once in a while, as if burning off absent energy by habit instead of necessity. There was no answer to Neil’s greeting, but that was hardly surprising. He just couldn’t help but notice as the sun dipped lower and dinner came and went, but Andrew didn’t get up to join. Didn’t move a muscle, really, but for the one leg and an occasional page turn. He didn’t look up, not when anyone addressed him, not when Neil sat down at the far end of the couch with his own homework. 

“Hey,” Neil tried, and earned a glance. He didn’t hold back his grin, but Andrew didn’t snarl at him for it. “There’s leftover chicken, if you want some.” Andrew didn’t look at him a second time; didn’t look anywhere but his textbook. Kevin shuffled around in the kitchen, complaining just loud enough for Neil to hear about the dishes and the freshmen. 

“Andrew, you eating?” Nicky called out, and when Andrew didn’t respond, he leaned into view and held up a tupperware container half-full of oven-grilled chicken. “Are you hungry?” He pressed. Neil watched Andrew move his head slow, turning to face his cousin, eyes just this side of unfocused for a lingering moment before they caught on. Andrew blinked. His face didn’t show anything but his attention. Nicky gestured with the tupperware. “Dinner,” he said. 

Andrew didn’t answer. He looked down at the couch, head turning just as slowly back to his textbook, and blinked a few more times. His lips thinned. He would eat, Neil concluded then, but he probably hadn’t so much as opened his mouth since breakfast. Andrew closed his textbook and tucked it against his hip as he stood and made his way to Nicky. 

Secretly, Neil was a bit ashamed that he found Andrew’s actions strange, but Nicky seemed equally bewildered, so he vowed to take the afternoon in stride. 

“I want to run the drill from last night again.” 

“See, I don’t think it’s very useful,” Neil argued, thoroughly distracted for a moment by Kevin as he made his way to a dropped backpack in the corner. It seemed he was also inspired by Andrew’s studiousness. “They weren’t ready for it. Sub in Matt and Aaron so they can get comfortable with backliners who actually know what they’re doing.” 

“Are you insulting me right now?” 

“They won’t only learn by watching, Nicky.” 

“They won’t learn by being carried, either-“ 

“-do you want them to learn the drill, or not-“ 

“Fuck you,” Kevin snapped, then sat with a too-loud thud next to his backpack and got out a notebook. Neil rolled his eyes and sank further into the couch. He looked over the back, though, to check on Andrew, who seemed entirely unaware of the room and chowed down on the cooling leftovers as Nicky hovered and spoke in cut-off half-questions. “When you’re-“ 

Neil heard the rest of the sentence and cut Kevin off. “Fight your homework, not me, asshole; I don’t give a shit.” 

“You definitely give a shit,” Kevin grumbled, and Neil was about to gripe back at him when Nicky swooped in and leaned over the back of the couch. 

“Has he been like this all day?” 

Neil frowned. “Like what?” 

“All… I don’t know. He seems fine, but it’s like he isn’t there.” 

It was obvious who they were talking about, and Andrew appeared at Nicky’s side without a sound, looking at his cousin the same way as before. Attention, no tone to it. He didn’t speak. Nicky jumped only a little in surprise. 

Neil asked, “Andrew, how was your day?” 

Nicky looked at Andrew. Kevin, from the floor, looked at Andrew. Neil didn’t want to add any more pressure, so he looked at the textbook still in Andrew’s grip and watched his knuckles not change a shade in response to the situation. Andrew seemed entirely, genuinely, thoroughly, completely, absolutely disinterested. He stayed quiet. 

“Andrew?” Kevin piped up, head tilted curiously. It was likely fueled by some complicated Exy-centered logic, but he asked, “you alright?” 

How bizarre. Andrew didn’t react to that either, not for a long moment, and when Kevin sucked in a breath to continue it seemed like a mime had possessed Andrew’s body for a moment: his shoulder bumped up to his ear in an overly-exaggerated shrug and then he nodded once, head moving so forcefully that Neil could hear the bones in his jaw and collar thunk against each other. With no further explanation, Andrew returned to his previous pose on the couch. Neil was paralyzed. The sunset had made itself at home on the couch while Andrew ate, and cast a romantic glow to the ends of his blonde hair and the highlights of his face. Neil wasn’t close enough to appreciate how the light caught his eyes- he didn’t dare, even as his stomach dropped out at the relaxed slope of Andrew’s shoulders, at how he ducked his head a bit to hide from that light behind his textbook. Nicky’s hands curled over the back of the couch and squeezed until the fabric groaned. Andrew took a deep breath and- when the whole room leaned forward a bit to hear him- sighed. 

//

Aaron and Nicky were arguing about something only tangentially related to Exy, so Kevin didn’t have much reason to start ranting. He tried striking up a conversation with Andrew, which was fruitless, as per usual, and Neil was excited enough about escaping campus that he answered noncommittally when Kevin’s interest turned to him. With the background chaos of quick words from such similar voices that Neil could tune them out and pretend it was one idiot talking to himself, Neil watched the road contentedly. He relaxed against the passenger seat and glanced down at the center console; he imagined setting his hand palm-up on it and having Andrew hold onto him for the rest of the drive. It was a nice image. 

Andrew had been fairly quiet all day. They had chatted lazily over breakfast, and when everyone piled into the Maserati, he had grated out a confirmation for their activities. Neil had been confused at that more than the quiet- Andrew didn’t talk when he didn’t want to, didn’t say anything he didn’t mean, that was all well and good with Neil. But audibly, visibly struggling to speak? Holding onto his words like he’d been carved hollow and they were all he had left? Expression shuttering over some kind of pain? Neil was chilled by it. 

“Hey!” Roland shouted when Andrew and Neil inevitably found their way to him. Other customers were outright ignored, but lucky Neil, no one was too upset. The night was still young. “What can I get you all tonight?” 

A beat passed. 

Several, really, between Neil’s earlier worry and the deafening music. 

One too many. The moment lingered and still Andrew said nothing, attention very obviously divided between Roland and Neil and the people around them. The sooner they ordered, the sooner they could retreat to the booth, but Andrew did not order any drinks. Neil plastered on a smile as Roland’s began to waver. 

“I’ve got it,” he blurted, and rattled off some requests that he didn’t remember clearly enough. Roland was sufficiently distracted, and soon enough, they were carrying two trays to the table. Neil grimaced when the three already seated began to complain. Surely they’d care a little less after a few unpleasant gulps. Andrew seemed to settle in for a long night in his spot at the same time as the other three nearly vibrated with a want to dance, gazes darting to each other and out into the crowd and down to the drinks. 

When they were gone, Neil’s worry resurfaced. It wasn’t that something was explicitly wrong, not like Andrew had fought with his brother or heard from an old enemy, not like any of them were in danger at all. He seemed the opposite, really, except that one moment. Ice cream went down as quickly as it normally did, just as sickeningly sweet as Andrew liked it. His hands were at rest, armbands intact and untouched. For all Neil could tell, Andrew was having a normal day, but… Neil was still worried. He rambled to fill the space that was left in the absence of their nonsensical table conversation, gestured to iron out the curl building in his hands, kept Andrew in his sights but looked away as much as he could stand. Hadn’t Nicky said something, forever ago? It was like someone had hit mute on Andrew, but he simply didn’t care and lived on. Neil ignored the alcohol to keep himself from breaking and asking about it. 

Worse, breaking and asking. 

Fuck. 

“It’s like you don’t even care about Exy, you guys always make fun of me,” Kevin whined as he was dragged inside. Neil took care of everyone’s shoes and, when it seemed like Aaron, Nicky, and Kevin would all live to the morning, he made for the couch. 

Andrew’s supernatural ability to move faster and quieter than a ghost would probably never stop surprising Neil. He didn’t flinch, though, just turned when a light tug on his sleeve announced his presence. There was nothing to read in Andrew’s expression for a moment. The pair of them were left with the backdrop of a dark living room in Columbia, drunk stumbling audible from the bedrooms. Complaints, too, mostly Kevin’s, drifting through the walls and rattling hidden pipes. Neil waited and waited for something to happen; he could be patient, he could stand there for hours just looking at Andrew in the dark. He could wait for a car to drive by and light up Andrew’s jaw through the living room curtains, for both their eyes to burn until they passed out in the middle of the room, for the sun to rise and birds to sing and Andrew to speak. Neil knew stillness as a tool of life on the run, knew nonchalance and manners to cover panic and desperation. 

It was only a moment, though, before Andrew invited the question. His shoulder drifted just slightly, his grip lingered on Neil’s sleeve. “Yes or no?” Andrew nodded. “I-“ Neil didn’t want to doubt him. “Can you… say it?” Andrew’s lips thinned, and even in the dark, even in a nanosecond, Neil knew the answer without understanding the reason behind it. “I’m alright with that,” he said quickly, or as quickly as the laws of physics would let him. “Upstairs?” 

Andrew nodded again. They went upstairs. 

//

Now, Neil was stupid. Unbelievably so, inconceivably so. Neil had never learned a thing in his life, in his own humble opinion, and the things he was good at involved just the bare bones of brain activity. Obviously. Through this unfortunate reality, Neil had started to notice a pattern. He decided to draw it out to better understand it. The sketch was yet another example of Neil being generally unremarkable, but it didn’t have to be beautiful. 

He drew Andrew Minyard, dressed in all black for a night out at Eden’s Twilight. Shoulders sloped just so, hands relaxed and capable, mouth a single line. 

He drew Andrew Minyard, standing in the corner of the girls’ dorm on some accursed movie night, elbows loose. 

The day Nicky had commented on the silence, inhaling cooled-down chicken. 

In the middle of a late-night practice; no one was communicating, and someone pinned it on Andrew, and then Nicky got mad and they all only stopped yelling at each other because Kevin was an easier and more universal target than Andrew. 

Those moments felt different. It was like Andrew had something to say, but no words to use. He had powered through only the most necessary statements in those times. Usually when he was quiet it was because he meant to be. It was as surely a fact of life as Neil’s dumbfuckery that Andrew was a calculating sort of man. He never did anything he didn’t want to, never stayed put when he wanted to move. Always knew what he’d say before he said it. Andrew was powerful, really. 

The air shifted over Neil’s shoulder, but he didn’t look. Neil leaned back in the desk chair in some wishful thinking that he could lean on Andrew, who moved fluidly to sit on the desk and shake out a cigarette. 

A conversation passed between them in a glance. Andrew rolled his eyes. “What, I’m supposed to think you’re ugly?” Neil scoffed defensively, and cherished the brief push of calloused fingertips on his chin. It felt like… Neil didn’t have a word for what he’d never felt before Andrew. It didn’t matter. Neil was stupid. He just tossed his chin back in Andrew’s direction and blurted, “yes or no?” And grinned into the kiss Andrew gave him, leaning in slowly with a fine-tuned focus like Neil would never be in this spot again. He knew both their shoulders sagged from the way they shared breath more than any visual evidence or exploratory hands. 

He knew and cared that Andrew was comfortable.

[papipopsicle]

AFTERTASTE PART FIVE

Pairing: Archie Andrews X Reader

Genre: fluff and some angst

Summary: In which two best friends since childhood test whether sex and friendship can co-exist without causing conflict. Including OC's Flick and Cherry, a bisexual and lesbian in a sapphic relationship who are best friends of Y/N.

Song: Candy by Doja Cat

Warnings: swearing, minors consuming alcohol

Words: 3.6K

MASTERLIST

feedback is always appreciated

     Y/N lasted two weeks before thoughts of even throwing the bet came to mind. She had been strong so far; making sure to wear her tightest outfits and highest heels, being extra touchy-feely with Archie and not reacting to his moves in the slightest. Her personal favourite moment was sitting on his lap at the Twilight Drive-In and giving him a hard-on whilst Kevin and Betty sat next to them non the wiser.

But now, on day eighteen, she needed reinforcements. The redhead realised his attempts were failing miserably and he couldn't help his reactions to Y/N’s provocative movements. He turned it up a notch, becoming rather possessive of the five foot blonde knowing she enjoyed that side of him. He carefully walked the line of teasing and taunting like a tightrope, always whispering in her ear and letting his hand rest on her inner thigh under the table. And now, Y/N found herself wanting to pounce him whenever he caught her eye. It was getting out of hand, so she called for the only two people who could possibly help.

"Have you tried doing the bend and snap?" Cherry asked out of the blue, her head rested on her girlfriends lap as the three watched Clueless from the comfort of Felicity's bed.

"Babe," the blue haired girl said with a sigh and took a handful of M&Ms, "I love you but I don't think our answer lies in a two-thousand's rom-com."

"Hey, it worked on you, didn't it?" The brunette grinned smugly and leaned up to kiss the girl above her, earning a handful of chocolate to be launched in their direction and a disgruntled groan from the blonde sitting beside them.

Y/N pouted, "Please stop reminding me how single I am."

At this, the two girls pulled away and sent her the same bewildered look, "You wouldn't be if you told that hunky ginger you're in love with him!" Flick barked, a hand playing with the hem of her partner's shirt whilst the other flew up in desperation.

The y/h/c girl sent her friends an incredulous glare, it only growing when their shared 'you know I'm right' smile made an appearance. She took a handful of sweets and irritably shoved them in her mouth, "I am not in love with Archie Andrews... I just want his body on my body... in a variety of ways, and locations... multiple times."

"Right, so let me just get this straight," Cherry sat upright and gathered her hair over one shoulder, she paused the film and sent the petite girl a serious look, "you really think a no-strings-attached relationship can actually work? Have you even seen Friends With Benefits? It doesn't work! Sure it's all fun and games now but it's only a matter of time before one of you catches feelings and shit gets real. Then we'll have to pick sides, obviously you automatically get us, but I really liked Archie, he was promising..."

"What my gorgeous girlfriend means, is that we won't have this relationship ruined because you two can't keep it in your pants. We've put a lot of work and effort into this ship and it isn't going to waste, this isn't some TV teen drama shit, there's no need to wait until season 6 to actually be happy. Don't be Lydia and Stiles." Flick rounded up, taking the remote and pressing play.

Y/N simply sighed and slouched against the pillows, her attention turning back to the TV as she sulked, "I came here for your advice, and honestly now it feels like my moms are telling me I can't have sex with my hot best friend because they ship us too hard romantically. How can sex ruin a friendship? That's like saying extra sprinkles ruin ice cream! Anyways, none of that matters unless I win this stupid bet."

"You know Y/N/N, asking a lesbian and a bisexual whose only ever been with a girl on how to seduce a boy isn't exactly your best move." Cherry commented, snuggling under her blanket with a near-empty bowl of mini-pretzels at her side.

"My advice? Just be yourself, dumbass. Clearly for some weird reason he's into that, so it's only a matter of time until he gives in and this insanity will end. Boys think with their dicks and have a lot less will-power than us. For fucks sake, he's sprung when your name's mentioned in passing conversation, clearly he wants to bone your brains out. Wait it out, you're one stubborn chick when you want to be, you got this."

Two days later, on one rather fateful Friday night, Y/N found herself in the midst of a party thrown by none other than the Blossom twins. It had been a while since she'd spoken to either of them, but since their entire year was currently making out on the couches, the invitation wasn't all that strange. She and Betty had spent the evening getting ready whilst rocking out to the cheesiest music known to their generation. The smaller blonde wore a little red number with lace cutouts, and only managed to convince her taller friend to ditch the mom-jeans for a conservative royal blue knee-length dress. Baby steps, she told herself whilst trying her best not to cut a deeper neckline in the mass of material.

Betty Cooper had absolutely no idea what was going on between two of her three best friends; and although she'd always been silently jealous of their closeness, she was used to it and didn't think twice to question it. Y/N spritzed her neck and wrists with her favourite perfume, Daisy Dream, and gave herself a final once over in the large mirror beside her wardrobe.

With perfect timing, like some magical intuition, Y/N’s phone buzzed, notifying her their ride was outside. She grinned at the taller girl and slipped her black Louis Vuitton's on, "Ready, m'lady?"

"I-I don't know, Y/N/N." Betty panicked, wringing her hands together as a worrisome look etched onto her face, "What if my mom sees us leave? She'll kill me if she finds out we're going to a Blossom party."

"She won't. And even if she does, she'll only see us getting into a car with Cherry and Flick, just tell her they invited us over for a girl's night or something... Stop worrying about the future, and start living in the now! You look smokin', I look hot, we are not wasting my precious work on Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore again, capisce?" Y/N didn't allow even a millisecond to pass before dragging the taller girl downstairs with her where they met Polly and Ren.

The four took a few quick photos together and hightailed it out to the red convertible sitting on the edge of the drive. Polly switched places with Flick and the happy couple sat in the back on each other's lap, leaving Y/N and Betty sat beside them like two spare wheels.

When the group of girls arrived, Cheryl graciously directed them down to the basement. Thoughts of being led down to a torture chamber came to mind as the redhead opened a large squeaky door, but those died down when the smell of liquor and sound of house music hit them like a brick wall.

So now, an hour into the night, it was just Betty and Y/N standing at the side of the room with a red solo cup in hand. Polly ran off to find her beloved boyfriend as soon as she arrived and Y/S/N just so happened to find herself hitting on a nearby houseplant. 'Flicky' were playing beer pong, well cider for them, against Reggie and Moose, and were winning with only one cup standing.

The petite girl, who still stood below her friend even in four inch heels, was about to save her sister from some terrible mugshots, but a strong arm stopped her in her tracks and pulled her back into a muscly chest.

"Where'd you think you're going, gorgeous?" A deep voice breathed in her ear, and a second later she ripped herself away from the boy, instantly recognising him and wishing to be the other side of the building right now. Though her actions were quick, the brunette pinned her to the nearest wall and stared hazily into her wide chartreuse-coloured eyes. Y/N actually laughed at the irony of the location, finding it funny that the last time she was in this position it was rather enjoyable.

"Fuck off, Chuck." The girl took another sip of her drink, not bothering to pay the boy any attention because that's exactly what he wanted. Though, when his arms moved from the wall to around her waist and neck, forcing Y/N to look up at him, she felt like punching the stupid smile off his smug face. But with one hand stuck at her side and the other holding her drink, she simply settled for chucking her remaining vodka-lemonade at the boy.

He chuckled cynically and wiped his face down, eyes darkening as he pushed himself against her with even more force, "Now, now. That's no way to treat the best fuck you've ever had. Why don't we go find somewhere quiet, for old times sake." He commanded, his tone leaving no room for questioning or any form of verbal consent.

But Y/N scoffed and chucked her now empty cup at his face, "Do you really want to be known for rape, as well as leaking a fifteen year old's sex tape, that you were a part of let's not forget?"

He sighed and brought a hand up to cup her face, coarse fingers gripping her jaw achingly tight, "Y/N/N, aren't we past that? I was mad and you embarrassed me in front of the entire football team, what did you expect me to do? Can't we just forget about that?" His other arm aggressively tugged her closer, "C'mon, you know you want me, slut."

Y/N had her eyebrows raised intolerably the entire time he spoke, and when she realised this had no affect on him, she cocked her head ever so slightly. That word felt so good coming from Archie's lips weeks ago. But with Chuck's intoxicated breath panting down on her made up face, she felt completely and utterly violated, physically and mentally.

She hid the look of disgust as best as possible and simply let her best fake alluring smile grace her features; Y/N wrapped her arms around his neck and looked ever so sweetly into his darkened eyes, "Clayton, we were together for what, eight months? And somehow, in that entire time, you never made me orgasm, not even close. I feel sorry for any girl, or whoever else who has to put up with your shitty oral. Don't you ever, ever use that word against me or any other girl. Don't touch me, you do not and shall never have consent to touch my body, remember that." She smoothly spoke, her voice laced with sugar-coated venom.

Using his drunken and shocked state to her advantage, Y/N unhooked his arms and rushed off to find one particular individual. She fought through the endless crowd of teenagers and after ten minutes of searching, Archie was nowhere to be found. A light tapping on one shoulder caused the y/h/c girl to spin on her heels, ready to slap a bitch if it were another jock.

But thankfully it wasn't, and Y/N let out a sigh of relief when her eyes found Betty's figure. She took her taller friend by the arms and asked, "Have you seen Archie at all? There's three fucking gingers at this party and I can only spot two."

"Last time I saw him he was in line for the bathroom, and that was around five minutes ago." The taller blonde said, peering down at her friend in concern as a hand smoothed down her signature ponytail instinctively, "Is there anything I can help with?"

Betty's question almost flew right past her as she searched for the toilet queue, but thankfully she managed to make out a few words, and quickly put two and two together. Y/N shook her head and finally looked at her friend, "It's alright, but one of us is about to lose a bet, I'll tell you who once I find out."

Betty's expression contorted at that, and she began to feel an uneasiness settling in the pit of her stomach. The Cooper girl did her best to hide her jealousy along with her crush on Archie. She'd always viewed Y/N as the unwanted cog in the machine, but as the months went on she couldn't help but feel like a spare part.

With that, the petite girl marched off and soon found herself pushing through throngs of her drunken classmates until a head of fiery-red hair poked up above the crowd. He was joking and laughing with Reggie, both wearing giddy smiles whilst sipping from from their cups every so often.

Y/N was used to being easily knocked, because she was so tiny in relation to the 6 foot something masses of muscle she called her friends, so it came as no surprise when someone practically rammed her right into the middle of the boys' conversation. Luckily, being the gentleman he was, Archie's arm instinctively wrapped around her waist to steady her toppling body. Their chatting ceased and it took Reggie no less than a second to start talking to someone else, leaving the red-haired boy looking down in confusion at his best friend.

"You okay there, Tiger?" He asked, gingerly hooking a few strands of her y/h/c hair behind her ear, making Y/N crane her neck up to watch him intently for a moment. She bit down on her lower lip and let out an intoxicated little giggle, "My knight in shining armour, however will I repay you?"

Archie breathed out a deep chuckle and smirked, "I can think of a few ways..." he all but muttered. Y/N’s thoughts flickered back to just moments ago in the lull of silence, and that was all the boy needed to lead her out of the packed basement. He saw the look confliction in her eyes, not quite understanding it, "has something else happened, Y/N/N?"

"Do you remember last spring, when I finally broke it off with Chuck... and then he, you know?" She tried to clarify, but her words wavered and fell short.

"Released a video of you two without your consent and only got suspended for a week?" Archie almost growled his voice felt so heavy. He hated remembering their relationship. Not only because he wanted Y/N to be only his, but because he was forced to see his best friend humiliated and heartbroken all at the same time and couldn't stop it.

"That's the one." The girl looked down, unable to meet his eyes as her mind raced back to one of the darkest weeks of her life. But she pulled herself away from the horrible memories, "Look, it happened and I can't change that, but I really don't want to be around him right now."

"We'll go back to mine right now, Tiger." Archie affirmed with his hand now cupping her made up face, bringing her gaze back to his own.

"Woah, didn't realise you two were a thing." A slurring Reggie turned back around and winked at the pair with his usual cheeky smile, "Don't worry, I won't tell."

Y/N giggled and hiccuped at the same time, "Fuck off, Reg."

"Hey, if you hurt her, Andrews, I'll knock you into next year." The Asian boy only partly joked with his best friend.

The Robins girl pulled herself away from the wall and wrapped her arms around Reggie, "My hero!"

"Yeah, yeah." He hugged her back, not too hard though as in his drunken state he was scared he might snap her in half with all his muscular might. "I love you too, Y/N/N."

She gave him a sweet peck on the cheek before returning to Archie's side, clasping his hand in her own and leading the both of them away from the raucous party. Nobody seemed to notice in their happy little haze, even if they did, most people assumed the two were sleeping together anyway.

"Does it bother you at all?" Y/N small voice called as they walked down the narrow roads back home. She didn't know whether the answer would be something she wanted to hear, but it had been bothering her for the past minute or so.

Archie's brows furrowed, slightly more sober and completely not understanding his companion's train of thought, "Does what bother me?"

"That people assume so much about us? That we're sleeping together? That we're a couple?" She pondered.

"Not unless it's something that puts you in a negative light, otherwise I really couldn't care less about other people's opinions. Everyone has them, but the only ones that matter to me are my friends and my family's." Archie reassured her.

Y/N giggled at her own joke, "I thought you were going to say they're like assholes?"

The boy looked at her incredulously.

"Everybody has one." She grinned and wrapped her arm around his waist as his own found its way to her shoulders, pulling her into his warmth. The rest of the walk was silent after that, cool summers air bringing an ease to Y/N's tipsy frame. Twenty minutes must have gone by before they saw the Andrews' household finally in view, it was anything but awkward though. Their hands clasped swinging between them, the girl's feet beginning to ache from the regrettable choice of five inch heels.

They shared giggles and passing comments that wouldn't make sense the next morning, gleeful smiles hanging from cheek to cheek. Before Archie had the chance to hunt for his key, the front door opened with Fred sending the two teenagers a short look of annoyance.

"Get in already." He rolled his tired eyes, not wanting to question why his son's best friend was currently looking up at him with hidden adoration as she slipped off her shoes.

Y/N hiccuped and sent the adult an apologetic smile, "Sorry if we woke you, Freddie."

"I couldn't sleep anyway, kid, don't worry about it." Fred gave her a kind smile and felt her small frame hug his own. He returned it as always and after a few moments, let the teenagers carry on upstairs. The girl immediately went into the bathroom and found her small bottle of cleanser under the sink, removing her heavy make up before returning to her best friends room.

Y/N couldn't help but gawk at the sight her eyes were greeted with, the redheads body clad with tight boxers with his warm bedside lamp lighting the room, and his muscular build, perfectly. Her hands lightly traced his back, making Archie jump before leaning into her touch.

"I'm still going to win this bet," She whispered, shutting the bedroom door and pulling the boy down to his bed with her, "but Arch, can I ask you something?"

Y/N's head nearly reached the wall as the redhead towered over her, hot breath tickling her skin while he rest himself against her without putting any weight down. "Of course." The words floated from his lips so easily, knowing his whole life he'd do anything or answer whatever she wanted.

"Do you think we're meant to be more than friends? I think I've finally realised it's not that we were never and will never be romantic in each other's minds, it's always been that way but we've just never really known." The Robins girl seemed so sure of her words, staring up into his amber eyes with so much honest admiration.

He watched her for what felt like forever, not knowing whether it was the alcohol in them both or just that the little game they were playing didn't matter anymore, and decided to throw that away. A short gasp fell from Y/N's lips as Archie caught them, rolling over and pulling her on top of his chest.

"You're right, I've always wanted us to be more than friends Y/N/N, ever since Leonardo went missing when we were in sixth grade and you kissed my cheek when I found him." Archie propped himself up and returned that same gesture. She stole a kiss but he didn't let it end, running his fingers through her curled blonde hair.

"Arch?" Her small voice called out, sitting atop of his torso still in her revealing red dress. He nodded back with the biggest smile, unable to control the pure joy as her next words tumbled into the world, "Will you be my boyfriend?"

"I don't have a choice, since I lost the bet, do I?" He mocked, smile not falling as she hit his chest and rolled her eyes. "Yes, of course, yes, I'll be your boyfriend."

PART SIX