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hazelfoureyes · 1 year ago

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⟢Alastor x Cupid FemReader Tasked with making a demon believe in true love or you can’t return to heaven, things immediately go off the rails when you hurt yourself and Alastor catches one of your most troubling arrows; Mania

˚₊ · »-♡→ Week 1 and Week 2

˚₊ · »-♡→Week 3 and Week 4 smut💦 (keep reading)

Alastor lets you leave the hotel! Together! For soup. Later, your plans to make Alastor lose his obsession backfire. But like, in a hot way so you’re not that mad about it. A+ for effort?

˚₊ · »-♡→Week 5, Week 6, Week 7, and Epilogue smut💦

「warnings/promises: smut, I once again misuse a fucking prayer in a sacrilegious way, soup, spoon feeding, Angel texts, so much cum, bondage, tentacles, just good ole fashion fucking in the radio station, not quite dubcon but Alastor doesn’t really listen, hell has twitter and lets be real it’s just normal twitter, giant Alastor, Horse Luci」

Minors DNI ♥️ 🧹lovingly

You finally managed to leave the hotel. It was of course with Alastor at your side, microphone pressing into the small of your back like a third arm. It was as if he worried you’d just turn around and run.

He opened every door, pulled out your chair, and when your left hand shook and dropped your food he took on the task of feeding you. It was embarrassing, to say the very least. The sinners in the restaurant staring, a brave few filming or typing furiously on their phones.

You got a buzz on your own cell, a gift from Angel when he realized Alastor wouldn’t let you speak with others alone.

He texted a link to a post on some hell site, to a photo of you right then, at that exact moment, being spoon fed by the radio demon. You considered smashing your head into the table until you blacked out. If you got up and left would you make it back to the hotel before someone realized you weren’t a sinner? You were absolutely terrified of someone noticing you as heaven sent.

Heaven kicked? Heaven thrown. Yeah that one felt right.

“You need to eat. You can’t heal like this.” Alastor sounded concerned, but you fought the urge to care.

He hadn’t apologized to Husk, but Husk did say Alastor seemed to avoid eye contact which was basically a gift to him. Alastor had come to your room to dress you the next day as he always did, neither of you mentioning the day before. The hall was magically pristine by the time you left.

A tiny sliver of you thought he felt embarrassed. But decades of experience told you that Mania didn’t afford embarrassment, the stricken couldn’t be truly manic if something like that was holding them back.

Maybe it had been such a shallow cut he hadn’t gotten the full punch of Mania?

Another attempt to feed yourself, slowly bringing your spoon to your mouth, “You know when I heal I am going to finish my task and leave, right?”

An odd laugh, a non-existent tear wiped away, “Adorable. No. I promise you, that won’t happen.”

“Alastor.” You put the spoon down with a clink.

“I love when you say my name. May I offer you more reasons to hold it in your mouth?”

“Al-,” you groaned, “I can’t stay forever.”

He hummed, a show of pretending to think about what you said, “Wrong! You can. And I argue, you will.”

You tried again with the spoon, regretting soup. Your appetite had been shot for awhile and it seemed easy enough. Wrong. Again. There was a constant tremble to your hands since arriving. Perhaps experiencing pain for the first time was rattling your body so much that it couldn’t cope. “Why would I ever do that? This is literal hell.”

Alastor leaned over, taking the spoon from you with ease and bringing it to your mouth, “Because I’ll make you understand it’s where you belong. They didn’t appreciate you,” his grin widened, “Not like I do. Like I can, if you’d let me.”

Annoyed and flustered, you took the help to eat. “Thank you.” A spoonful, “How can you say that though? I’m the one and only Cupid.”

“Actually, no. You’re not. You are just the current incarnation. They’ll replace you.”

You regretted telling him that. They could. Just replace you, that is. There was nothing stopping them. You stared into your soup, lips curling down.

“Don’t look so defeated. I’ll make you happy, for eternity.”

Your eyes rolled. “When do you plan on starting that eternal happiness?”

You didn’t look at him when you said it, but you could see his hand slow, then become completely still. Had you wounded him?

He pivoted, “Doesn’t Cupid have wings?”

Another spoonful, “Of course.”

Alastor waited while you took a drink, determined to make you eat the entire bowl, “Where are they?”

A pause. Where were they? You hadn’t realized you couldn’t feel them. They weren’t everpresent, but their weight still sat between your shoulder blades at all times. Always. Normally. But now?

“You don’t know? That’s troubling.” Alastor read your face with ease.

You shot him a look. Stop doing that. Stop replying to unspoken thoughts.

“Apologies.”

Another text before you could snap at him.

You slid the phone away from Alastor, face red. “Do you think, honestly, if you’re capable of it, that I’ll ever be able to go home?”

His hand came to your neck, running over your collarbone, “For the record, I’ve never once lied to you.” You rolled your eyes, fine, okay, “With your heavenly body, even as weakened as you have been here, I’d say just a few more weeks.”

You turned the phone face down.

“Good…that’s good. If you plan on winning me over, your countdown has started.” You pushed the soup away, appetite gone. The idea of never returning to heaven made you nauseous. He slid it back to you, face stern despite the smile he wore.

The walk home was quiet, your stomach full of unwanted soup.

No, not home. The hotel.

He usually spoke a lot, clearly loving the sound of his own voice. His hand replaced the staff, settled on your back as he guided you. You could feel the warmth through your clothes. How could he be so hot and not be sweating? Another sinner thing?

The thought hadn’t left you by the time you came into view of the hotel gates. Maybe you had been replaced. How would you know? Maybe that was why your wings were gone. Surely there was some way to communicate from hell.

You found Lucifer as soon as you returned, unbothered by Alastor’s presence, “I need to speak to heaven.”

Alastor was saying something but you had gotten quite good at tuning him out. Lucifer snapped back, the men quickly devolving into arguing again.

“Lucifer.” You said it with your chest.

His apple topped cane whirled, a golden circle appearing with a crystal clear image of heaven’s glowing gates through its center.

A loud noise erupted behind you, a high pitched static wail, familiar tentacles flailed and a long shadow of a growing Alastor stretched across the wall. His back was bent into the lobby ceiling, perhaps three stories tall now.

The sounds of magic popping as Lucifer shapeshifted accented the sounds of horror with that of whimsy. You approached the portal, those black tendrils slithering around your ankles but you easily slipped out of them as their owner's energy was pulled to full demon Lucifer slamming into him.

Almost, you could see it.

A monstrously large hand came down, shaking the hotel and knocking various objects off their perches in the lobby. Charlie and Vaggie, someone else you’d come to enjoy the company of, flew down the stairs.

The common area was filled with the sounds of yelling and breaking glass. You crawled over his hand as Alastor’s fingers curled around your body gingerly. He tried to pull you from the gateway but while he slowed, Lucifer now a flying horse kicking him in the face, your outstretched hand strained to enter the portal.

Your fingers grazed the doorway, the air around the lobby fizzing and warping as a desperate screech tore from Alastor’s wide and impossibly thin chest. The grip tightened around you. A static whine threatened to pop your eardrums.

As your fingertips pressed past the ring, they stopped. Something impenetrable and unseen between you and heaven.

Alastor must have noticed it too, his grip loosening as you clamored on hand and knees to the portal. Your palm ran over the doorway, searching for a hole or seam to rip. Just under your skin was your home, bright and clean and painless. A tiny ‘no’ fell from your lips, smacking at the barrier with your open hand.

Alastor returned to his normal, still terrifying, height. Lucifer came forward, their fight losing motivation, his small hand on your shoulder as you sat on the hotel lobby floor. He closed the portal and apologized, “Sorry kid. Let’s try again when you finish that task, okay?”

Alastor’s arms went under your back and knees and lifted you off the ground. You didn’t resist or argue. Your eyes were unfocused, vision blurry with tears, as you were carried past the others. Vaggie looked ashamed, which was odd given she had more character than half the archangels could muster together between them.

There existed permissions for who could enter the heavenly realm, a list meticulously kept. They’d removed you from that roster. They’d locked the doors behind you.

You felt good. The final week of your first, and hopefully last, month in hell was marked with taking off your sling for the first time.

A good three day wallow in a metaphorical cave helped you emerge with renewed vigor. Of course they locked the gates behind you, otherwise you’d just go home. That made sense. That made sense.

That had to make sense.

Deciding to take a risk and attempt to expedite your homecoming, you and Angel made plans. Like a teenager in a party movie you snuck out of the hotel when Alastor was asleep. Well, so you assumed. You weren’t really sure what he did behind closed doors.

Angel brought you somewhere he felt people would be receptive to discussing love and talking to angelic beings, and admittedly also very high.

Sling off but still being as gentle as you could, you leaned across the small standing-only table to talk-shout with a rather cute aquatic demon. An eel? Or maybe some kind of water-fond lizard? It didn’t matter, his glasses were cute, both of you a little drunk, and you quite good at saying the right things.

And all of the right things were said, and you felt maybe if nothing else you’d enjoy your first demonic lay, when the power shut off.

Everyone filed out, bummed and bothered to find most of the neighborhood shrouded in darkness.

Angel tapped your shoulder and pointed up the hill to the hotel, radio station a glow with a red light, “Ya know, I wouldn’t be surprised.” Nothing to do but to stare, you stayed quiet and angry while he flagged down a taxi knowing the trip would be fast without traffic lights, “Guess Daddy Dead Eyes is calling you back.”

Anger grew and grew in your chest as you were charioted home.

Jesus, to the hotel. Stop doing that.

You burst into the radio station tower, Alastor barely reacting. Until, that is, you marched up to his desk.

Pinned before you could react, his body pressing into yours as your ass ran up onto the desk.

“Sneaking out like a child?” His voice was low, soft, unnatural. “Why do you intentionally torment me?”

“I have done,” you tried to move but only succeeded in rubbing your stomach against his crotch, “no such thing. You’re just possessed.”

He responded by pressing forward, no accident, as his eyes narrowed on you, “Correct. I am a man possessed.” When he rolled himself into you, an alcohol primed groan escaped your mouth.

“I thought you didn’t care about those things,” your eyes flashed to his lap pushing into you and then back to his glare.

“You’re my exception that proves the rule. If you’re so desperate for attention there’s no need to leave the hotel to find it.” His smile was poisoned by the simmering anger in his eyes, “Dear.”

It was the alcohol and annoyance at losing a chance with glasses-man, Jake or Jark or something not worth a scrabble move, that made you sneer a reply, “Not yours. I am a divine creature, demon. Your body would just filthy me.” Nose up, feeling absolutely better than him in every sense, you pushed him off and left.

That was easy. Wow.

Proud of yourself, you made it to the elevator before you realized— illusions. Perhaps his illusion was the idea sex with you was worth the effort, more so than others. He said it himself before, he didn’t care for such things. Perhaps if you could show him it was as boring and unattractive as sex with anyone else could be, maybe you could shatter his mania with disappointment.

You pulled a u-turn and heel-toed right back into his station. Giving him no time to react this time, you climbed onto his chair and straddled him, “On second thought, try your worst. Let’s get it out of your system and move on.” You ground your hips down. He only smiled up at you, amused. Taking his hands you set them on your waist, giving him permission to handle you, “Claim me. Make everyone know I’m yours.” He didn’t move. You were starting to feel embarrassed, had he goaded you just to make you look stupid? He would. But your kind invented the tension before sex between enemies, “If you can.”

That did it. His hair visibly stood on end, “It is not a matter of ability. It’s about-”

“If you can’t, that’s fine. No need to start lying to me now. But don’t say I never gave you the opportunity.” You smirked, hoping he enjoyed a taste of his own sardonic medicine, and lifted yourself off of him.

His hands came to life on your hips, helping you rise and then flipping you onto your stomach. Your arms pushed radio transmitters and various old timey fuckery away to make room for yourself.

Those talons slipped up the center of your bottoms and crooked into your underwear. Long and strong, his fingers felt you. “Is this a perk of a heavenly body or is this,” two fingers dipped into your already wet and relaxed entrance, “all for me?”

You fought the urge to respond with anything other than malice, “Don’t flatter yourself.”

In heaven no one needs preparation, no one needs lube or required stretching to keep things whole and fun. You would love to say that quality followed you down, but unfortunately, like perfect health and angelic wings, it had not.

You decided to chalk it up to the alcohol. Always an easy excuse to offer yourself.

Alastor’s hands pulled away and up, finding the place just above the Rosie’s Emporium clothing tag and ripping the bottoms and underwear clean in half.

You bit into your hand to keep your excited shriek to yourself but unfortunately couldn’t stop your legs kicking up. His laugh echoed off the many windows.

Why couldn’t he be worse at this? Why couldn’t Alastor be clumsy and meek and awkward at sex? No, the menace you’d gotten almost used to was confident and commanding, you felt yourself twitching in anticipation. People have a misconception that Cupid was a chaste and wholly emotional creature, which was false. First of all, Cupids varied based on the incarnation. Just like other heavenly creatures their personality was varied and unpredictable.

Personally, you weren’t suited for the job. If you were honest. Why couldn’t your quiver just be full of Eros and Agape? Even of those two, sexual love was more your speed. Romance was fine and lovely but perhaps you’d gotten a little jaded.

Luckily for you, fucking Cupid was something many winners had on their afterlife bucket lists and you rarely found yourself with an empty bed.

Your attention was stolen back, Alastor’s clawed hand grabbing at the flesh of your thighs, “Oops.”

Focus. Why were you doing this again? Your system was metabolizing the alcohol now, and with the air cooling off your exposed sex, everything was awash with lust. Did you want to diminish his mania or were you just horny?

Would it really be so bad to admit you were both?

Deep breath, you remembered. Boring. Banal. The plan was to be motionless and not provide him any satisfying sounds. Don’t touch him, don’t try to push back on him, no tricks or fancy shit. The sooner he was over this you could make someone trust in love and fuck off home.

Seconds turned to a minute, your ass in the air as Alastor’s hands pawed at your skin. You wanted to ask what the hold up was, but you didn’t want to give away how much you were needing him to just fuck you already.

“Do you miss flying?”

You looked around, were you so drunk you missed an entire chunk of conversation while thinking about how to hide thirsting for his dick?

“Yes…?” True statement.

“Allow me to help with that.”

There was a moment you half expected to be chucked out the window, but almost worse than that, you heard him seat himself in the chair again before your body was picked up and off the desk. “Alastor! I don’t-,” Hands flailing, feet moving around the best they could, you struggled against the familiar tentacles he had command over. “I do not allow it!”

Your hands batted at them fruitlessly. One came under your knees and folded them to either side of your chest before wrapping around your waist twice, a second across your chest like a seatbelt snug and secure. Had you been on the floor you could almost be mistaken for taking a deeply devout praying stance. Only your arms were free to move, the position making you open and incapable of taking back any semblance of control.

“Alastor!” Stretching, you could almost reach the edge of his work table, but your fingers and toes curled in as you were seated on something hot and stiff. Your lips quivered, desperate to keep silent as you were pulled down onto him. Reaching back your hands found his stomach, raking your nails across the skin in need of anything to grip.

When you heard him chuckle to himself, you knew you were already losing. Plan backfiring entirely. You pulled your hands back to your center, taking ahold of the tentacle nestled between and across your chest.

“Heavenly Father,” his voice was quiet but sure, your eyes so wide you worried you’d get stuck making a permanent face of utter shock and despair, “bless us and these thy gifts which we receive from thy bountiful goodness, through your name, our lord.” You were lifted off his lap, Alastor’s swollen tip dragging along your unstretched walls as he said the Lord's prayer, “Amen.” Pulled back down before the second syllable even reached your ears, you cut into your bottom lip as a scream bounced around behind your teeth.

Heathen.

“I would think you of all people knew how to finish a prayer.” Alastor chided, “What will heaven say?”

If heaven knew you were being impaled midair on an overlord’s cock, they’d create a second hell for you to rule. Population of none. Except maybe some horny nuns.

As he found a pace he seemed happy with, slow and long draws out of you, you realized how fucked you were. Looking down, you could see one of his hands was settled at the base of his cock, those long fingers draped down his balls. The other hand was unseen and unfelt.

“Alastor.” You tried to sound stern.

“Oh I doubt heaven knows my name. Not yet at least.” He sounded unbothered, almost unaffected. “Not until I’ve spirited away their little angel of love.”

You were almost insulted at how easily he could speak despite being buried so far into your wet, hot cunt. Maybe you had been spoiled in heaven, people usually so turned on by the idea of you that they were coming undone as soon as you were wrapped around them or in them in whatever way you decided.

A broken chant of “be bored, be bored,” in your mind as Alastor hummed, that mystery clawed hand falling at your back. Biting your lip, you tried to think about anything other than how full he was making you. Did the glasses man at the club have a cock as thick as Alastor’s? Would you have been as satisfied as you were now? Every down thrust made the tuft of fur at this base press against your ass. Soft. You wanted to grind against it, the idea pulling a wanton moan out.

Fuck. Failing to distract yourself because you got distracted. It was so hard to think about anything else than your body being pushed open again and again. The blood on your lips was sweet, licking them clean before finding a new spot to bite down on. Quiet.

“Ah, are you giving me the silent treatment?”

Could this son of a bitch read minds? Could sinners read minds?!

If you didn’t reply, that was confirmation. But if you did reply, you were breaking your goal of not talking.

“Just…,” you took a deep sigh, knowing this was going to be rough, “I’m not really feeling like making any noise.” A shrug, the best you could manage at least while bound and held aloft in the space above his lap. Pretending this was normal and boring was a feat. “I’m not a vocal person during sex. I prefer to just lie there and get serviced. Don’t mind me.”

That sounded awful. Perfect.

“Oh? Well then, I guess I’ll not worry myself.” You could hear the smile in his voice. Less perfect. He began to hum a little tune as your body, partially upright, was now being tilted forward at a 45 degree angle from his lap. His cock was bending in you, head pressing harshly up into your walls.

Heart beating so fast you felt a dizzy spell hit you, that renewed anticipation almost as arousing as the sensations.

His humming continued like he was reading the paper. You’d never ridden a roller coaster, but you’d seen many people do it before and this was surely the same feeling; right at the peak before the drop. When the ride operator stills you and lets you stare down at the height before you. Your stomach was flipping, excitement tinged with fear.

You were pulled off his dick until you felt the bell of his red tip get just outside your entrance. Was he going to pull out entirely?

No. He pulled you down by way of shadows and fucked you just a couple inches into your cunt. His head was dragging out past your tight hole and smashing back in, directly hitting your g-spot. The spongy bundle of nerve endings was dented with every thrust.

You weren’t used to having your entrance stimulated so much, the skin luckily becoming slick as your own wetness was fucked out of you.

“That feels weird, please.” How quickly you gave up. “Stop pulling out like that.”

A considerate sigh, “But you’ve gotten so wet, my dear. You’re dripping down my thighs already. I don’t think you want me to stop.”

Could you cum like this? You felt like you could, maybe if you just…you quickened your breath, faster and faster. Your stomach heaving, you felt the crescendo of pleasure.

“On second thought!” He stopped.

Your toes wiggled, hands gripping the tentacle on your chest. Quiet. Shh. Don’t argue. Boring. Don’t care. The building orgasm waned, you felt your blood pressure lower. This really was hell.

Alastor’s head was just sitting in you, burning hot and throbbing. You were sure you could feel his heartbeat.

You two were locked in a standoff. Someone had to let on they were enjoying themselves; Alastor releasing pent up frustration with your attitude toward his affections, you chasing down a rare penetration-only orgasm.

An idea struck you, a way to hopefully antagonize him and bruise his pride enough to force him into your hand (pussy), “Thank God. I think it’s almost my bedtime.”

Alastor’s smile strained, a twitch coming over his left eye. A trap. But the idea of letting you down and off of him seemed far worse than the small defeat you were offering. “Allow me to rock you to sleep then, sweetheart.”

Success! Shit!

You reached out, the angle of your punishment allowing you to grab the edge of the table and grip. Alastor’s annoyance translated to an inhuman pace, him pulling you off entirely from his cock before bringing you back down. He was positively slipping in and out of you, your lower lips puffy and soaked around him. This degree of wetness was something you couldn’t remember feeling outside of marathon sessions.

When your hands tightened, a shock of pain tore down your arm, a scream bringing Alastor to a sudden stop. “My collar…” Pain was apparently not a kink you enjoyed, though you briefly wondered if heaven allowed it at all.

You couldn’t even fuck properly. You couldn’t do anything right. All you managed to do was fail. A sting to your eyes as the air hit your welling tears. Did humans feel this pain often? Your body was righted and turned, you looked down to Alastor’s face as you were brought to him. He looked so soft, usual smirk a sweet toothless smile, “I told you to keep the sling on, didn’t I?” He looked happy.

Your arms found his shoulders and your head came to his chest, “Shut up and finish already.” He didn’t release you from the binding, instead pulling the right arm under the hold of his slender tendril to keep it safe and out of the way. His hands were both at the base of his cock while you were gently riding him. Well, “you”. He was still using his powers to manipulate your body on and off of him. Alastor’s fingers were spreading your arousal down his shaft and along his tightening balls, if you had looked at his face you’d have seen a weakened man there, furrowed brows and lust drunk eyes. But you didn’t look, trying to hide the same expression on your own features.

Left hand free, no need to hold yourself up, you made lazy, and you hoped subtle, circles around your clit. You weren’t sure if this was a total failure or not, but you could finish and say something good came of it. You, specifically.

Things were quiet, though. The loudest sound in the room was the wet pop coming from where his body was meeting your sopping hole. His breathing was fast and soft, sighing when he bottomed out. Another bite to your lip, a few more deep hits to your cervix, and you enjoyed a small but satisfying release. The hand on you stayed through, riding out tiny waves of pleasure as you twitched around him. When you felt his release you sighed, you did it. You think. Maybe. Regardless.

As he slowly lifted you, you considered if your legs could hold you—

Up you went and back down you fell as he took a new, quicker pace.

“A-Ah-lastor?! You,” you bit your tongue, “already finished?”

You had made a mistake earlier that you hadn’t even realized. But Alastor had been holding it between his sharp teeth, “How many times?”

Absolutely no idea what he was talking about, you gasped out a reply, “What!?”

“How many times should I fill you before you’re too filthy to return to heaven, do you think?” He couldn’t be serious. “Three? Five? You see, the advantage of using my tentacles is that I don't get tired.”

Oh, but he was serious.

The battle was entirely forfeit somewhere around the third time he flooded you with his seed.

“These aren’t the usual screams I enjoy from my studio, but I’m not averse to them.”

When he felt you’d learned whatever lesson you were supposed to be taking in by the pump full, you were finally removed from him. He covered your lower half with his coat around your waist. It would be lying to say you were surprised to find his wide shoulders and small waist wasn’t just an illusion of his well tailored, yet oddly torn, coat. He was annoyingly attractive. Who gave him the right?

Your legs gave out when you tried to stand, warm hands pulling under your armpits to get you back on your feet. As much as you wanted to push him away, you were still a little tipsy and your legs still getting used to full blood flow. His arm held out for you to use for stability, you took it and wobbled silently to the floor you both lived on. Before you left the elevator you looked down and saw a line of white dripping down your inner leg. Took longer than you expected, honestly.

When you turned to the right to go to your door, his arm came around your waist and shepherded you to his room on the left. You shot him a look, asking what he thought he was doing.

He laughed, “Oh, after tonight’s little escapade, you’re moving!” He opened his door and gestured for you to enter, “Welcome home, my dear.”

What was worse than a failure? A catastrophe? This was that.

“Now come on, we need to get you cleaned up.” A hand patted softly at your ass before ushering you inside.

He did just that, wiping you down and undressing you before settling you into his bed. Exhausted and sore, you decided to argue after sleep.

When you awoke, you checked your shredded bottoms for your phone. Nothing.

An answer was found when you mentioned it to Alastor, who asked what you were searching for so early in the morning, “Perhaps someone at that venue you enjoyed has it? Too bad you can’t go back and ask.” He was resting his back against the headboard, you realized he’d unbuttoned his shirt quite a bit. “Oh well!”

How was he always making you scream?

ᡣ𐭩ˋ°•*⁀➷ masterlist

∰ Summoning the Horny Little Deer Cult (general tag list):

@cxrsedwxrlds , @nonetheartist , @tsunaki , @janchei , @wettiny-in-smutland , @moonmark98 , @hoebihoeshi , @pansexual-opera-house , @polytheatrix , @lorddiabigmommymilkers , @backinthefkingbuildingagain , @harley2223-blog , @coffee-colored-hopeless-romantic , @poinappel , @midnightnoiserose , @spookieroz , @missmidorima , @ivebeenthearchersstuff , @downbadforfictionalppl , @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx , @sleepylittledemon , @aether-th3-enby , @dontfuckbutimfab , @breathlessaura , @aperfectidiot , @certainlygay , @jth12 , @star-kujo-platinum ,

@ivebeenthearchersstuffn, @rubyninja1 , @simphornies , @alleystore , @readergirlstuff , @berry-demon , @chirimeimei , @fairyv-ice , @olive-frog , @thonethatflies620 , @tiredkiwiii , @ilikemyteawithmilk , @whateverlololo , @psipies , @howabouticallyou , @roxxie-wolf , @ive-no-idea-what-to-call-this , @fizzled-phoenix , @fjorjestertealeaf , @phobophobular , @surusurusuru , @mariaclarade-la-cruz1 , @whateverlololo , @simplyonehellofanotaku , @xixflower , @i-am-nonbinary-bean-deal-with-it , @roxxie-wolf , @a-case-of-attachment , @multifandomfanatic02 , @watereddownmilk , @raynerrold , @crazii-saber-wolf , @valkyrie-expeditions , @bontensbabygirl , @sillyb0nez , @oo0lady-mad0oo , @jazzmasternot , @pseudobun , @fraugwinska✨, @alitaar , @straows , @alastorssimp , @angelicwillows , @b-o-n-e-daddy , @one-and-only-tay , @asleeponelmstreet , @tremendoushearttaco , @mutifandomkid , @sapphirecaelis , @itzzzkiramylove @saccharine-nectarine , @viannasthings , @looking1016 , @ultimate-duck-king-lucifer , @blakeaha , @astraechos , @reath-solia ,

🏹Alastor stalkers: @celestial-vomit , @amurtan

@faeoffaith , sailorsmouth , @jeannyjaykaydeh , @jyoongim , @cosmic-lavender , @saturn-alone , @lustylita , @radio-darling , @kaylopolis , @dickmastersworld , @leviskittywh0re

@asianfrustration13 @alittletiredcry @sirens-and-moonflowers @alastorssimp

#alastor x reader #alastor smut #alastor x you #alastor #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel fandom #hazbin hotel smut #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #smut

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dblk-archives · 9 months ago

Note

Haileyyyyy!! <333 I don't know if you take requests (if you don't please ignore this!! <33) But can I ask for a Reiji and a Kanato version of that post you made recently with the diaboys comforting an s/o who's having an anxiety attack? <33

Imaginary Monsters.

Summary: Some of the diaboys comforting you when you have an anxiety/panic attack.

Characters: Kanato Sakamaki, Reiji Sakamaki, gn! reader.

Tags/warnings: hurt/comfort, fluff, mentions of anxiety.

Author's note: Hi Bubble and first of all, thank you for your request! I really do not take requests, but I will always do so for my moots and friends, so thank you very much for giving me the chance to write this, truly! It's my first time writing for these two diaboys, I apologize if they do not seem in character. Regardless, I hope you still enjoy this 💜

❀ Kanato Sakamaki.

“The softness of silk dresses on porcelain dolls, a sweet cup of chocolate, the melody that breaks the overwhelming silence at the eye of the storm.”

While Kanato couldn’t deny that many a time, glistening tears looked cute on you, he never wanted it like this.

Your shaking hands, crumpling the dress he made for you; tear tracks down your cheeks, like a broken doll, forgotten in the muddy rain.

It makes him angry. Not at you, but at the dark thoughts that dare plague your mind.

It’s in moments like these, however, when you can see a softer side of Kanato, almost innocent in the way he sits beside you.

He will let you hold Teddy, while he wraps his arms around your form protectively, his head resting on top of yours.

If you feel like it, he’ll feed you his favorite cake or candy, it always makes him feel better, so he hopes it has the same effect on you.

And, amidst the cold anxiety that seeps into you, like suffocating ashes filling your lungs, it’s his voice that breathes air back into you.

“But Kanato, you don’t have to-” You begin, images of his bitter expression and bleeding vocal cords flashing through your mind momentarily.

He tilts his head to the side, that unadulterated smile he reserved just for you tugging at his lips.

“But I want to.” He says, his thumb running over your lower lip, soothing the sting from having bitten it out of sheer nerves. “Only you get to hear my singing, dollie.” Are his words as the melody from him to you alone begins again.

You rest your head on his shoulder, holding Teddy a little closer to your chest.

Kanato’s arm tightens around your waist.

The closeness of him and the aftertaste of raspberry pudding on your tongue shine a little sunlight in your cold despair.

❀ Reiji Sakamaki.

“The calming surface of a warm cup of tea; the hypnotizing tranquility of the steam that rises from it, the unpredictability of a new aroma either lulling you into peaceful rest or making sparks dance behind your eyes”

Honestly, for all his stoic and composed manners, Reiji is exceedingly quick at noticing the microexpressions that cross your face when you try to hide your worries.

And he won’t confront you about it directly at first, he just shakes his head like ‘honestly…’

In truth, he wishes you could confide in him.

How you’re feeling and what scares you… Even if he may not verbally express it, it’s important to him.

So to try and take your mind off things, Reiji keeps you distracted.

He asks for ingredients he needs for his research; has you sort out some of his books and makes you arrange his fine china for a tea party for two (that means he trusts you a lot, for him to let you close to his tea sets).

That was just his excuse to prepare a tea with calming properties, of his own invention of course, only for you.

Your hands tremble, and the fear of dropping the cup adds to the spiral of dark thoughts that forever goes down.

Reiji can see it from the corner of his eye, as his lips taste the hot beverage in his own cup.

And because Reiji Sakamaki is unpredictability incarnate, is the liquid burn of his lips by the side of your neck that pulls you out from your endless pit.

Right when you were drowning at the edge of Phlegethon, the flame of your terror almost turning your soul to ashes, he pulls you out. And even though the sensation of his fangs tugging on your lower lip is more searing than the River of Fire itself, you welcome it; in the same way you embrace him, sins and all; in the way Reiji is not afraid to delve deeper into your Fields of Asphodel.

“Honestly… What even were you trying to achieve shouldering those troubles all by yourself?” The vampire pushes up his glasses, that devious smile you’ve come to adore present on his handsome face. “Did you think I would not notice?” He whispers, softer, as his arms wrap around you in an usually warm embrace.

#diabolik lovers #dialovers #kanato sakamaki #reiji sakamaki #diahell #kanato sakamaki x reader #reiji sakamaki x reader #diaboys #diabolik lovers x reader #sakamaki kanato #sakamaki reiji #diabolik lovers headcanons #diabolik lovers fanfiction #diabolik boys

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ididdedurmom · 1 year ago

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Erm, this is like the first time I've posted my art on social media, I'm kinda scared. Also I apologize for how blurry it is, I smudge my graphite a lot.

So erm, this is it. It's Johnny and Dally just hanging out. I drew Johnny on his crutches.

I'd like to thank @gay-poet-gabriel for giving me (or at least my anon incarnation) the courage to post this. Thanks 👍

#the outsiders #dally winston #johnny cade #silly #art #traditional art

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kayselyn-axe-the-third-goddamnit · 5 months ago

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If parasites used to be eliotropes, now it's iops!)

Well, the release of Bestiale is just around the corner, and as a person who was waiting for it and was very upset with how this project looks now, I am going to express my opinion. I apologize in advance if my language is rude - I only have complaints and do not want to offend anyone. Also, in this post, not only the Bestiale series will be mentioned, but also other works by ankama, including animated series, games and comics.

Unfortunately, I do not have the opportunity to get acquainted with many of them now due to studies and health problems, so feel free to point out errors that may be in the text - I will be very grateful. And now - let's go!

Narrative plan:

🥇🥈🥉1) W12 races and favoritism among them;

🥊2) Iops characters;

❗3) What's the problem

🌊4) Bestiale;

🐉5) "Year of Osamodas";

🥇🥈🥉1) Races of the World of Twelve And favoritism among them;

The World of Twelve is a planet, a fantasy world where the events of all (with rare exceptions) stories of the krosmoz universe take place. This world is inhabited by people of many races/classes, which are revealed to varying degrees. Despite how Tot has recently abandoned the old canon and is having fun with fanfiction, I still suggest using marks that will indicate the degree to which we know about a particular race. (Important: the table is quite subjective and was compiled by me as an average consumer of content, so it does not claim to be absolutely accurate. I only write what I see.)

Marks: ❤️ = good, 💚 = not bad; 🩵 = little information, 🖤 = unknown / very little information;

Races:

1) Sadida ❤️;

2) Feca🖤;

3) Cra🩵;

4) Eniripsa🖤;

5) Osamodas🖤;

6) Sacrier 🖤;

7) Pandawa🖤;

8) Ecaflip💚;

9) Ouginak🖤;

10) Xelor🖤;

11) Iop🩵;

12) Enutrof🖤;

13) Zobal/Masqueraider🖤;

14) Foggernaut🩵;

15) Huppermage💚;

16) Rogue🖤;

17) Sram🖤;

18) Forgelance🩵;

19) Eliatropes and Eliotropes (formerly) ❤️;

20) Classless Humans 🖤;

21) Monsters and Others 🖤;

Even though we don't know much about Iop culture, they're literally everywhere because for some unknown reason Ankama loves them almost as much as Elia(o)tropes (Eliotropes were a waste of time and resources - are you ready for this conversation or not). Almost every project in the krosmoz universe has at least one Iop, and they look REALLY bad. I'll explain why I don't like them later, but first I'll give you a list of characters to back it up.

🥊2) Iop Characters;

When I say Iops are literally everywhere, I mean it. I want to point out that I haven't read the Dofus manga or the Ogrest manga, so I might be wrong in some places. I apologize in advance. Here's a list of Iop characters and roles, I think that's it:

1) Tristepin. Wakfu series (main characters), Wakfu manga (main characters), OVA (main characters), Waven (main characters). Also appears in other works as Iop God;

2) Goultard. Wakfu series (minor character), Waven (minor character), OVA (background character), Dofus Magna ( main characters), the protagonist of his own short film;

3) Eleley. Wakfu series (minor character), OVA (minor character), Wakfu manga (minor character), Waven* series (main character);

4) Pin. Wakfu series (minor character), Waven* series (main character);

5) Iop God . Wakfu (past incarnation of one of the main characters), Ogrest manga (minor character), Savara* (minor character or npc);

6) Khan. Dofus: Julith (minor character), Dofus mmorpg (npc), Welsh and Shedar* (minor character);

7) Bist. Lance Dur series (minor character), Lance Dur webtoon (minor character);

8) Karn. Bestiale* (main characters), Savara* (npc);

9) Savara. Savara* (main character);

*The featured animation/game product has not yet been released at the time of writing or has been abandoned;

As you can see, there are quite a few iops in important roles.

❗3) What's the problem

In short: iops are CtrlC+CtrlV dummies that the creators of the universe play with instead of developing the universe (the same goes for eliatropes/eliopropes).

With rare exceptions, all iops look something like this: proud, very strong, sometimes not particularly smart, fight well and love to do it. Of course, each of them will have some individual traits, but they all remain a set of the above qualities (with rare exceptions). I won't even talk about the design - it's decadence and boredom (especially hairstyles - most often they are LITERALLY THE SAME).

Iops, as a rule, are needed to please the viewer with their image and it works, but apart from their charm (I still don't understand why they are loved so much) they bring nothing else. No lore, no interesting information, which will tell us something new (besides the character itmself). I can forgive mistakes in creating a story, but I don't forgive monotony.

And it would seem: if so, then you can create a character of another race and start revealing other peoples. Give content for fans of another class that are part of your own audience too. Even if it was never the main goal of the show, it would be cool to have some variety even in small amounts, right? NO! Every time we get a red-headed goof created for crowd entertainment. What about the other races? I'm not interested in watching iops - I want to understand what the world of twelve is, we barely know anything about it! Have you even seen the official map of the world of twelve? There are a HUGE number of regions and places that you can ONLY learn something about if you play Dofus/Wakfu/ect.! Moreover, Ankama still creates new classes, but they do not get enough attention, only the basic minimum. What about the old ones? How much, for example, do we know about srams or zobals?

This universe has been around for ten years for sure, and I want to know more about it, about the others, not read another Tot fanfic about some silly-billy! Ankama. What. Is. This.

And don't get me wrong - I don't hate Iops, I actually like some of them. But they get TOO MUCH attention and because they bring so little new to the table, it's very hard to take Iops seriously. You just see wasted potential and every new character starts to irritate you.

Okay, I'm starting to get too angry, so let's move on. Sorry for the bombing.

🌊4) Bestiale;

Ugh, there will be a lot of complaining here too.

In fact, I didn't have any strong complaints about Karn's character until he was announced as the second main character. I don't mind him having having lots of fans' attention at all - let people enjoy what they like. But the creators of the show already give preference to him - he got the status of the main character, he is in the trailers, has some kind of biography, appears in the game and it is him, and not Yrehn, that we see in the videos advertising the series. Although there was no need for this. At all.

The main character herself appears only in the trailer and apart from the notes from the designer, we know nothing about her at all (well, she also has a special connection with Ilanthe, you could guess about it from the trailer, thanks). Are you serious?? I was expecting a cartoon about this girl saving her friend from a poacher, but it looks like they're making a cartoon about a POACHER guy who gets in the way of a teenage girl. I don't have any expectations for Bestiale, but as an osamodas fan, I was really looking forward to this series specifically because of Yrehn - and now she's being overshadowed by someone who used to only appear in an early poster. And I don't care if he's cool, a good father(yes, fatherhood doesn't mean anything, it's a cheap trick), and can cook - now I'm not going to like this character, even though his type's one of my favorites.

It would have been so much cooler if he stayed a villain (hello, i am a villain enjoyer) - but apparently Ankama lacks guts i guess. Plus, he would have been fresher and more interesting if he was a sacrier or a sram instead of the typical Iop. Remember the sacrier fight scenes? I think those two would have had so much more potential!

Anyway, I just hope Yrehn's arc doesn't get overshadowed. I'm really upset

🐉5) "Year of Osamodas";

And as a conclusion, I will add that this year Tot declared the year of Osamodas, deciding to start with a series where Yrehn (osamodas) shares the place of the main character with an iop, who is given so much attention that there is no budget left for the animation of the FIRST PROTAGONIST's tail. Oh, and there is also a whole game about iops coming out, where the main character is Karn's daughter, also an iop, obviously (but she also could be any other race since she's adopted) .Perhaps Yrehn will appear there. Happy year of Osamodas, thanks for your attention!))

(Sorry if it's too emotional or too many mistakes ,my English is not so good)

#wakfu #ankama #krosmoz #dofus #waven #bestiale #iop #axe speak

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tyrantisterror · 4 months ago

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After making my first favorite princess, The Thorn, tonight I made my third favorite, The Spectre! Now, you may be thinking, "That's not a logical progression," but I assure you it is! See, some of the fabric I picked for the Spectre is ALSO fabric I want to use for my second favorite princess, Happily Ever After, because Happily Ever After has the most fancy and multi-layered dress of all the princesses, and the more different fabrics, the better. But I didn't want to over use any of the fabric for the Spectre, so I figured it was better to make her first so I could be sure I had enough, and use the leftovers to add to HEA (in part because I still have, like, five OTHER different fabrics for her, greedy thing).

Besides, this popularity contest for my heart is an incredibly close race - all these princesses are just facets of the same woman/elder god, after all. And, like, the Spectre does hold the distinction of being the incarnation that made me decide once and for all that I had to save this woman in my first run of Slay the Princess (well, of the completed version that came out before the Pristine Cut, I mean - technically my first runs were of, like, the demos that only the first chapter and the intro of the second chapters).

SPOILERS IN THE NEXT TWO PARAGRAPHS

See, you get the spectre by ACTUALLY slaying the princess in one go and surviving like a remorseless murderer, only to realize your reward is sitting in an empty room forever, which sucks ass, and then deciding to, uh, take the same way out the princess got. You return to the cabin and find out, surprise, she's a ghost now . While she (rightfully!) guilts you for killing her just because some asshole told you to, she makes it clear she doesn't want revenge - she wants a way out of the shitty cabin you were just stuck in one lifetime ago. So she gives you a choice: let her possess your body and hitch a ride as a way of apology for, you know, murdering her, and then you both can be free.

And if you agree to it - a big ask, given that you have no assurance she'll keep her word and, y'know, you did KILL her so she definitely has a reason to hurt you - she keeps true to her word. Better yet, she actually defends you when the Narrator critiques you for helping her, telling him that you're a good person trying to make things right after you fucked up, which is a remarkable amount of grace to be given by a person you fucking murdered. This cemented for me that the Princess is truly honest with you in the beginning - she doesn't want to destroy the world, she doesn't want to hurt you, she just wants freedom. After that, it was ride or die - I would not end this game without freeing her too.

...whoops, slipping back into gabbing about the game again. I did enough of that in February, let's get back to the sculpture.

Unfortunately, they do not, to my knowledge, make translucent pipecleaners (and if such a thing did exist it would probably not be within my crafting budget), so I could not make her match the semi-corporeal look she had in the game even if I bought only translucent cloth. So I had to settle for just her dress being made of translucent cloth, which I then had to layer up to hell and back to hide the fact that it was covering a partially pipecleaner skeleton. There are four pipecleaner tentacles hidden beneath all that shredded fabric to make it semi-articulate and malleable (and to connect it to her torso).

Two down, five to go!

...ok I feel bad that I rambled about why I love the Spectre and didn't do it for the Thorn when I posted her model, so I'm just going to add a post script to amend that.

SPOILERS IN THE FOLLOWING RAMBLE

The Thorn is the best princess because you get to actually sit down with her and really talk about all this bullshit you've both been through - the shitty situation you were thrust into, the shitty things you've both done out of fear and self-preservation, the way you've hurt each other and yet also depend on each other to get out. All the princesses have great moments where you can come to terms with them, to be fair, but I find the Thorn's the most satisfying because you can own up to all the shit you've done and tell her - honestly - that you intend to do better, and she does the same.

AND THEN YOU SMOOCH.

#Slay the Princess

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pearl-star · 4 months ago

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Closed Off

Summary: With how Marinette is calling Lila a liar and bullying her, the akuma class decides to give her the silent treatment and ignore her until she can admit her mistakes and apologize. They only realize the truth once it's too late.

Cross posted on Ao3.

Closed Off - Spez101Dog - Miraculous Ladybug [Archive of Our Own]

When Lila first came to Dupont, no one expected this to be the result. The class as a whole thought that Lila was this amazing girl. She knew more celebrities than they did combine, helped out with so many charities, and was riddled with so many unfortunate conditions that they thought she was a saint incarnate. The only one who didn’t think so was Marinette.

From day one, the bluenette called her a liar. She claimed that Lila was lying, that she did not know any celebrity or did any of the things she said she did. It was unusual behavior for the class rep, but the cause became clear. Even if Lila denied it, it was clear to the class that she harbored feelings for Adrien. Given Marinette’s past behaviors involving the model, it wasn’t that far of a stretch to think that she was just being jealous.

The class collectively thought that Marinette would soon grow out of her petty ways. She had became, if not best friends with then good acquaintances with Kagami. Surely she’ll admit that she was jealous and befriend the Italian.

That didn’t happen. Instead, the bluenette only seemed to double down on her instances. No matter what anyone in the class said, Marinette could only see Lila as a liar.

They decided to ignore Marinette. It was for the best, after all. If they gave her time to cool down and reflect on her actions, then maybe she would come crawling back with an apology to their newest friend. Their decision was settled when Lila came to class one day in tears, admitting that Marinette had been bullying her.

Bullying was something they hadn’t expected from the girl. They didn’t know how to respond. With how Miss Bustier didn’t correct Chloe on her behavior, they couldn’t receive adult help on the issue. Ignoring the girl would have to do. No one talked to the girl or responded to her with anything more than a curt answer before turning away.

This continued for months, with the hopes that once Marinette had the time to step back and see that her behavior was getting her no where, she would go back to the girl she was before. Kind, caring, selfless Marinette. They took away the class representative position early on, passing it off to Alya and Lila. They hadn’t excluded her from class trips, but it seemed that no one remembered to tell her when they were.

After everything, they expected to see some progress made. Maybe Marinette hesitating when trying to act out during class, or her asking to join hang outs. There was a change, but not one the class expected.

Juleka, surprisingly, was the first to see it. Perhaps from her tendency to be quite during class and watch instead of talk. She saw how Marinette would tense when people ignored her, but thought it was from frustration. It was only after a few weeks, when Marinette merely looked at the class for a moment before trudging to her seat in the back, that Juleka understood what it really was: anxiety and acceptance. Acceptance that it was better not to try.

She had brought it up to the girls but they thought it was a good thing. Once Marinette had some time to reflect on herself and her actions, she would come back.

Next up was Nathaniel. He knew how excited Marinette could get about art club. Before she became friends with Alya and closer to the girls in their class, she lived for the art room. It was a private place where she could work on her designs, as well as branch out into other modes of art and creativity. She had started to come less and less as she got busier thanks to class rep duties, but he thought she’d be there more once she was removed of that position.

He was wrong.

Nathaniel didn’t know when the last time she had visited the art room was. But once he was looking out for it, knew she hadn’t been there once in at least three weeks in a row. Marinette had never gone longer than a few days without visiting the art room, if only for a few minutes. When he asked the other art kids, they said that they hadn’t seen her at all besides brief passings in the hallway.

One by one the rest of the class began to notice the new Marinette. She would come into class right on time, not a minute early or late. She’d scurry up to her seat in the back, pull out her books for the day, and stared at them. She’d disappear right when class was let out for lunch, and didn’t appear again until the very start of their next lesson. She never would respond to questions, staying silent until the teacher moved onto asking another student. Soon they didn’t bother trying to call on her at all.

No one knew what to expect from this new Marinette. No one knew what caused it. Except for one.

Adrien could admit that he was largely at fault for how Marinette became like this. He was taught that it was best to ignore rumors and lies less it ruin the brand and his image. His hands were tied with what he could do to call out Lila on her lies. Adrien’s were, but Chat’s? What his father and Natalie didn’t know wouldn’t hurt them.

He couldn’t help out a lot. By the time he realized how far Marinette was, there was little he could do. The best he could offer was going over at night, letting Marinette use him as a weighted blanket to fall asleep at night. She never wanted to talk about what was happening. Any time he tried to bring it up, she’d shake her head slowly while looking at the ground.

It took two weeks after his visits started that he was able to get her to let him help with any bruises she might have gained from Lila cornering her at school. Even once he knew about the bruises and became aware that Lila was bullying her, Marinette didn’t want to talk about it.

All she wanted to do was silently lay on her chaise, in her bed, even on the floor, staring off into space as his worried purrs filled the silence in her room.

As Adrien, he did the only thing he could think of: try to keep Lila away from Marinette. If Lila was kept distracted and happy, then she wouldn’t hurt Marinette. All he had to do was keep it up until the class realized the truth on their own, then Marinette would be safe for good.

With his mind filled with Marinette, it took him a bit to realize that Ladybug was off. Sure, she still showed up to patrols and to akuma fights, but she didn’t have the same energy as before. She’d give comfort to the victims, “pound it” after she purified the butterfly, but at patrols her smiles were few and far between. The games they used to play were cut down to nothing. Most nights they would do a quick lap or two around Paris and call it a night.

Weeks turned into months, and the more the class watched Marinette, the more they could tell that something was wrong with this Marinette. Every time she felt the room and came back during the day, she seemed to be worse than Lila, who would have another mean thing that the bluenette had said to her to tell the rest of the class.

Summer hit, and the class were still puzzled over what was going on. They did the only thing they knew how to do now: ignore Marinette until she came to them. Let her come to them and say what was happening. The summer break passed without the bluenette trying to reach out once. By the time the next school year came, one major thing had changed: Lila was no longer at Francoise Dupont.

The first week, they had assumed that she was finishing up another charity campaign and would be back in a couple days. When a week turned into two, Alya finally texted Lila to ask how things were going. Lila responded with a short message, saying how her mom’s assignment had changed and now they were back in Italy. When trying to dig for more info, like why Lila hadn’t told them before moving, she was met with silence on the other end.

It took another two weeks filled with talks of Lila, and how she could just ghost them after the year they spent together, before they remembered Marinette. Marinette, who Lila said was a bully. Marinette, who had became a stranger to them.

After some debating, they decided to approach Marinette first. Sure, they wanted her to admit that she had bullied Lila out of jealousy, but maybe if they bring it up then she’d be willing to admit it with an apology. Alya decided to be the one to step up and do it. Given how the girl still ran from the room after classes were done, they didn’t have an opportunity to confront her until the end of the day.

“Hey, Marinette?” Alya said, speaking right before the final bell rang. She quickly stood on the steps, blocking Marinette’s escape.

Upon hearing her name, the bluenette’s eyes glanced up. No one in the class missed how she curled into herself, body tensing as if bracing herself for something unpleasant.

“I wanted to talk to you about Lila.”

Seeing how the girl reacted to the Italian’s name was enough for the class to freeze in shock. There was no disgust in Marinette’s eyes. Only fear. No one knew what to say next.

“Marinette, I think that Ms. Mendeleiev wanted to see you so that you could turn in the homework from last night.” Adrien, the last person anyone expect to speak up, said. His voice was soft, and he gently pulled Alya out of the way. “She should be in her classroom. You might want to give it to her before you go home.”

The bluenette did not say anything. She didn’t even give him a second glance, instead gathering up her stuff in seconds and running out of the room.

When they tried questioning the blond for answers, he remained silent. The strange pattern continued. Any time someone tried to talk to Marinette, Adrien was there. All it took was one slight movement of her tensing or a flinch for him to make up some excuse for her to leave the situation.

It took three months since that development for an even stranger one to occur. Adrien, who had stayed dutifully in the front of the room with the empty seat of where Lila once was, was now in the back of the class. Next to Marinette. The two never spoke. Adrien blocked the way for any of their classmates to try and approach Marinette, but made sure to move out of the way when the bell rang so the bluenette could zip out of the room.

Mid way through the school year, the whole class was shocked with new news. Both Marinette and Adrien would not be returning. They weren’t at the same school. Adrien had transferred into a private school, one that allowed him to do his curricular actives as electives so he didn’t have to do them after school. Marinette had switched to doing online schooling.

None of the class was successful in getting answered. Both students were simply gone. They didn’t know what was wrong, until one day answers came. It was on accident. Alya, when preparing her blog for part of her application for a reporters summer camp, decided to add some extra information and sources to her old blog posts. Some of which included Lila’s stories.

Needless to say, there was no source online that could support Lila’s claims. In fact, there was plenty of sources that easily disprove everything she had ever said. Jagged Stone never owned a cat. Prince Ali only focused on Go Green charities. Ladybug had never and would never become friends with a civilian. Alya went through every story Lila told, everything that they all had taken as fact, and found something to contradict it.

Together the class spammed Lila, demanding answers, but she wasn’t there to give it to them. The wool had been pulled off their eyes, allowing them to begin to see exactly what Lila had done.

Marinette had been telling them the truth. Lila was a liar. And if Lila lied about Marinette bullying her, then was it Marinette who had been getting bullied?

They tried to flood the bluenette with questions and apologies, but were not heard. Instead of Adrien acting as her guard, it was her parents. Or her new friends, the ones at Adrien’s private school which she joined, who all refused for them to get close to the designer. Marinette had begun the process of healing from what she experienced at Francoise Dupont, they wouldn’t allow her to get hurt again.

They were the ones who pushed her away, ignored her and allowed her to suffer. Now they could face the consequences of their actions.

#miraculous ladybug fanfic #miraculous fanfiction #mlb fanfic #mlb salt #akuma class salt #akuma class #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #little bit of adrien salt and sugar #protective adrien agreste #lila rossi #mlb angst #light angst

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biff-adventurer · 7 months ago

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roleplay tips: characterization

so it's come to my attention that there's a misunderstanding on what "characterization" actually is. we all know what the phrase implies: we make sure we know why characters do what they do, be it an immediate influence or one from the distant past, as well as the beliefs they hold and the personality traits they display.

however, i've seen people have trouble actually executing the character traits they want to the detriment of themselves and others. this post is meant to clarify the execution of characterization in the context of spontaneous roleplay.

i'll take biff as an example just so no one else feels self-conscious. so biff, poster boy wol, himbo, literal meme incarnate (born from the little comic that goes: i wonder what the wol is doing? while wol is bouncing on the egg mount in the background), hero of eorzea blah blah.

what did i want for this character?

thematic cores: love, adventure. what kind of love? love in all directions; what does it mean to love so fully and so easily? what does it mean to have unfettered compassion for the problems of others? life is an adventure, and i want to see the world. i am full of endless curiosity, i am excited to find all that life has to offer. wherever i go, i love and i learn. because i love you, i will do everything in my power to bring you ease and happiness. (i want to be loved. i want to be worthy. do i matter? i'm sorry. i'm trying my best.)

personality traits: passionate to the extreme, whether it be joy, sorrow, anger, fear, guilt, etc etc. not book smart, but heart smart (he has to be able to make friends somehow). self-effacing, to a fault. temper problems. an insecurity driven need to always be useful to the people he loves, or else he will be irrelevant and forgotten. a strong sense of justice. incredibly stubborn. untrusting toward those he loves, and too trusting of strangers. impressionable. very emotionally sensitive, and wears his heart on his sleeve. pretty standard hero character stuff, anyway.

how do i enact this in roleplay?

spontaneous roleplay often puts roleplayers in situations where they have to make quick decisions while they respond to the simuli around them. since we want to be expedient for the sake of others, it can be hard to see what shape your choices take in the long run.

to deal with this, i look at my character's internal emotional reaction first. then, i go on to consider what possible dialogue choices i have to work with, and what trait each would show about my character. since the telltale games were very popular when i was a younger rper, i tend to map out my characters' responses as though they are part of a telltale storyline.

Biff's Husband: “You have such a soft, tender heart. I love every inch of you.”

the options i can consider here:

"Even the dangly bits?" eyebrow waggle (flirty)

"Yer always so kind to me, husband." (low self-esteem)

"I can't help it. I know how it feels to be a stray." (empathetic)

"And your wisdom protects it valiantly." (grateful)

"I wish I could see it the way you do." (frustrated)

the action or dialogue i choose depends on how i want the RP to go, or what tone we established earlier, or what kind of plots we've agreed to cover. from the above, i chose option 3 because it extends to a greater conversation about feelings and motivations. it lets in the other character while also giving biff a chance to talk about himself in a way that invites someone else to share something vulnerable.

obviously, it demonstrates empathy. the other choices would have lead me down other roads. i usually have a flowchart in my head for how i think this will all play out.

flirty > his husband likely feels dismissed > husband frowns and elbows biff (or worse) > biff is embarrassed for trying to flirt so either he laughs it off or very sadly apologizes > if he laughs, it makes his husband feel dismissed again > suddenly our characters are in a conflict and we're tasked with ushering them out of it, which is a pain > can point toward an unwillingness to open up

low self-esteem > husband feels compelled to comfort him > biff grows upset that he's made it about himself > onus on husband to dispel the situation or let biff sulk by himself > uncomfortable for ooc and ic, and demonstrates a self-absorption trait we don't want (unless this story was originally sought out)

empathetic > husband feels invited into the conversation and shares how he feels like a stray > biff asks him to say more about that > suddenly they're having a deep conversation about their pasts > possible character development or bond deepening

grateful > husband feels appreciated and vows to continue protecting his husband > biff holds him tight > romantic sweet nothings ensue in perpetuity > fluff roleplay activate!

frustrated > husband concerned about biff's temper > biff continues to grow frustrated at his own inadequacies > roleplay turns serious in tone > suddenly i have to find a way to diffuse biff's temper or burden my rp partner with the task > can imply instability of character, which can be dangerous for character and relationship

i apologize if this all sounds very "duh, gwenny, i'm not STOOPID", but i think it's important to make explicit what often goes unsaid, for the benefit of those who can't articulate exactly what they're looking to do. i could give another example involving more conflict, but i think that might be overkill.

all the little choices in dialogue are the actions you're taking in character. not just the literal actions of whether or not you're fighting. what your character says reflects what they believe. if you want them to show up as an empathetic person, you've gotta actively choose empathy or make it obvious to others the way your character speaks that they're coming from a place of empathy. it all adds up to a bigger picture, and suddenly you've realized that you're getting the ending that you wanted, because you worked hard to get there.

obviously, you can't always know how others will receive your character. my character would be a lot louder, cartoonish and unhinged in a closed story than he typically is in roleplay venues. that's because venues are active scenes where we're dealing with other parties who want to have a good time! we don't wanna put a damper on their day unless they're expecting meatball-spicy drama. we often have to give a lot more space for others to be included than we normally would in a fic, where we establish everything on our own.

BUT, having several different choices prepares you for any future misunderstandings. you can tell them your character's motive during that period, but when you are ultimately asked to do something different because of some mistake, you have other choices and a clearer picture of how to have your character create and progress relationships in a story. and you show you are willing to work on both your character and yourself, as well as offer compromises via these other paths, in order to tailor the bond between two characters in a way both parties can agree on.

and it becomes a lot easier to own up to mistakes when you look at your character as both a person that is not you and a literary device meant to convey certain ideas. it's not a personal attack on what you believe, but rather a comment on how people feel from what you've written. that is very useful feedback, for both fics and roleplay writing.

trust me, this comes from years of making incredibly embarrassing mistakes and having to write them into character development unwittingly, because i was an idiot. so unto you i bestow these tools to avoid the shame i suffered......

#roleplay #final fantasy xiv roleplay #final fantasy xiv #open roleplay #roleplay advice #gwenny writes #ooc;;

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cottagedeer · 2 years ago

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So uh, I just… did a thing on Janitor AI that I’m just gonna make a little tldr of it.

Betty is reincarnated as a more humanoid hybrid/fusion of Betty and Golb (“Gordana the path witch” somewhat Inspired by Elen of the ways.) emerged from a large cocoon that landed on Ooo like a comet in a hidden butterfly meadow deep in the woods.

Memories of being Betty are somewhat hazy for her, with her only memories of her past life was with Simon before the crown took hold of him. With her witch-like appearance, she pass off as a wizard because of her destructive and chaotic abilities. She lived in Wizard City for some months just existing and trying to find a name for herself. One day she is out hunting for live ingredients for a magic shop she works at and runs into Simon on his route back to the Human City.

Long story short of ‘act 1’, Simon instantly recognizes her and tries to convince her that she is Betty. Mentioning her past life of her dreams and ambitions in vein, Gordana simply couldn’t comprehend anything Simon said, apologizing that he must have confused her for someone else. Simon felt embarrassed as he started to feel doubt in his gut feeling until Gordana mentioned about Simon’s book about artifacts, something that he has not done in such a long time, faith in his gut feeling returned, vowing to her that he will find some way to return her memories of her past life. (He might have had too much to drink that evening when he bumped into Gordana.)

Skip a few of angsty plot revolving around Simon getting close to Gordana and slowly able to bring some memories back thanks to BMO’s regression simulator game.

It had only partially worked, enough for her to remember being Betty in her past life, but still had hazy memories when after Simon put the crown on for the first time. Simon didn’t give up on his mission to help Gordana remember her times with him as Betty Grof, but he had also slowly come to fall in love with Betty’s incarnation, over time, Simon had come to accept the lady before him as her own individual.

So cute.

Now onto the mpreg shit you have been probably waiting for, hehe.

Because Gordana is a fusion between Betty and GOLB, she carries on both masculine and feminine features. So one thing lead to another (Reason for this post.) and the two end up expecting.

Simon could not keep his hands off of Gordana’s abdomen and was super dodie on becoming a father, however he started to notice gaining weight and having similar pregnancy symptoms around the same time Gordana started showing. The two chalk it up to something called ‘sympathy pregnancy weight’ and thought nothing of it, sometimes even joking of who is the one expecting and who is just getting the golden dad bod.

But sometimes Simon can’t shake the feeling that something is off about the weight gain.

#simon petrikov #mpreg #simon petrikov mpreg #content warning mpreg #not canon to comic #betty golb #Gordana the path witch #Reincarnation Petrigrof

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enby-dragoon · 5 months ago

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Rating the IBO Gundams by how much I personally want to fuck them

Hello, I've been writing Gundam fanfiction recently and that has gotten me intensely horny. This was the result.

The following is mostly just my opinion, formed by a combination of aesthetics and role in the series.

Unless they're very different I'll be looking at only the final version of each Gundam.

1: ASW-G-08 Gundam Barbatos Lupus Rex

We're starting off strong with this one. Lupus Rex is very butch. She'd wrestle me to the ground and I'd thank her, and if I wrote down what I want her to do with that tail and those claws, I'd have to set this post to mature.

Conlusion: Very fuckable in a way that would hurt me, but sometimes you just want to be hurt you know?

2: ASW-G-11 Gundam Gusion Rebake Full City

Gusion is the kind of guy who outwardly seems extremely tough and masculine, until you talk to him and realize he has a pet goldfish and does model building as a hobby.

Unfortunately he's also a bit shy, so we'd never actually get together, neither of us would be able to work up the courage to ask.

Conclusion: Very fuckable if one of us got drunk or something. Bonus points for probably being the healthiest relationship of the bunch.

3: ASW-G-64 Gundam Flauros (Ryusei-Go)

Flauros knows exactly who he is and wants to be, and he's not afraid to be open about it.

Of all the Post-Disaster Gundams, Flauros is the only one capable of transforming and I, uh, may or may not have a clip of that saved for... Research purposes.

Also those big cannons, which in his transformed state become electromagnetic railguns!

Conclusion: Probably the sexiest one of the lineup here, if not the sexiest. I want him to fire those cannons if you get what I mean.

4: ASW-G-01 Gundam Bael

The first of these not from Tekkadan, and fittingly the first one ever built too.

This picture doesn't really do him justice, he looks much better in motion, especially those wings.

Bael is interesting, because on his own he's plenty fuckable (if a bit dedicated to duty), his problems are mostly the kinds of people that surround him.

He's definitely old money, but he genuinely works hard and got his position through merit rather than nepotism.

his friends, however, are normal rich people, and thus the worst.

Conclusion: A one night stand would work, but anything more would see his friends try and get rid of me for his reputation.

5: ASW-G-29 Gundam Astaroth Origin

Astaroth is a military veteran, which is a bit of a turn off, and his colour scheme is also too samey, he really should have added some other colours than red and grey.

Conclusion: Not my type.

6: ASW-G-32 Gundam Asmoday

Now here's a much better colour scheme, the lime green adds some much needed oomph to what would normally be a pretty drab look.

Unlike Astaroth Origin, Asmoday gives the impression of a resistance fighter, he doesn't want to fight, but he will do it for a cause he believes in, and won't slaughter children in the process.

Conclusion: Unfuckable only because we'd get too distracted discussing political theory.

7: ASW-G-35 Gundam Marchosias

Marchosias is badassery incarnate. She has a sword that can turn into a mace, and then has four extra swords on top of that.

I want to find out what else those arms can do, if you catch my drift.

She has also completely disappeared, and the cops are after her.

Conclusion: We'd fuck, and then I'd wake up to an empty bed with a note apologizing for having to leave early.

8: ASW-G-56 Gundam Gremory

Gremory is, so obsessed with being cool and edgy that it's like he never grew up past 14.

His claws look nice, but it's not enough for him to stand out, his gimmick is wearing a hood for stars sake!

Conclusion: Unfuckable

9: ASW-G-XX Gundam Vidar

Vidar is what Gremory wants to be. he's cool, he's mysterious, he's got swords in his feet, and he actually has a good colour scheme.

He's pretty obsessed though and not exactly mentally stable.

Conclusion: while a relationship is off the table, a night of rough sex is not.

10: ASW-G-66 Gundam Kimaris Vidar

And breaking into the double digits is... Vidar again.

Kimaris Vidar has all the same problems that Vidar does, and none of the good parts.

he looks like a prototype that was smashed together over the weekend.

Conclusion: No

11: ASW-G-71 Gundam Dantalion

Dantalion is... Interesting. She looks a bit plain on her own, unfinished almost.

You'd think her armor fixes that, but it makes it seem like she's compensating for something, it doesn't fit her at all, like she's trying hide away who she is beneath it all.

Conclusion: That girl needs help, and I don't think I could give it to her.

12: ASW-G-11 Gundam Gusion

This is Gusion before he pulled his life together. He's hanging with a bad crowd, takes credit from others work, and is one step away from being a nazi.

He's an incel, essentially.

Conclusion: No woman wants to be in a two mile radius of him, me included.

13: ASW-G-04 Gundam Gamigin

He has a fucking revolver-hammer-glaive and a minigun.

This guy would smash down the door of a nazi and threaten to beat him to death.

Unfortuneately, he's also an enforcer for a very rich family.

Conclusion: I could fix him.

14: ASW-G-16 Gundam Zepar

He pretends to be a knight, fighting for justice and all that, but secretly is just the worst.

Also, he's definitely a crypto bro. Instant turn off.

Conclusion: I'll send you an NFT of my fucking dick, bitch.

15: ASW-G-48 Gundam Haagenti

This girl is ready to fight, and she doesn't have to stop being feminine to do that.

She would, however, definitely be a terf and call me a slur.

Conclusion: I don't have a degradation kink.

16: ASW-G-54 Gundam Murmur

In an alternate universe where I was a rich cis woman, we'd have an affair while our husbands were away which would scandalize the business world.

Hower, I am a disabled trans woman.

Conclusion: She's more likely to call the cops on me than go down on me.

17: ASW-G-61 Gundam Zagan

Zagan works out a lot, and brags a bunch about being a professional athlete.

However, he is actually a loser who is ontologically incapable of winning.

Conclusion: Normally not into such muscular men, but I'd make an exception if he dropped the bragging.

And that's all the IBO Gundams I could find ranked by how fuckable they are.

If you disagree with this list remember: My opinions are objective fact and anyone who disagrees with me is wrong.

#Gundam #Gundam: Iron Blooded Orphans #iron blooded orphans #Gundam: IBO #IBO #Post-Disaster timeline #Robot Fucking #Mecha fucking #Feel free to send me some other mech for me to rate #I'm bored #Cyn Rates Mecha

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twopoppies · 7 months ago

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https://www.tumblr.com/twopoppies/768685561855787008/about-ts-theres-a-lot-of-larries-who-are-also?source=share

Hi Gina!! Sorry for diverting from the topic, but can you please tell me why people are so repulsed by Eleanor? I'm not exactly new here and I've been through the threads about her problematic behaviour during the early days like calling fans names and the whole racist bit she did with her friend (I personally took extra offense to that as an Indian woman) but I also think that she was very young back then and people do stupid shit when they're in their early twenties and don't always apologize for it even when they know better later (not an excuse, just saying that it was a long time ago).

Now I'm not saying that she's for sure a better person now or whatever, I wouldn't know honestly as I don't follow her. But I found her alright during Elounor 2.0 (I joined in 2021) like she posted him sometimes (gave good content honestly), they got papped here and there, when he toured she attended a couple shows. It was all quiet lowkey and straightforward as far as I know (except for the whole airport arrest scandal).

I also struggle with the idea of hating someone just because they're a beard (though a lot of those people end up exhibiting toxic traits seperate from the arrangement), because for that person it's a job/opportunity to further their career, they're not the ones closeting or oppressing the closeted artist. If not her than it would've been someone else just as easily.

I guess my question is, did I miss something here, did she do something during the last few years that warrants such hate? Or is it mostly because of her earlier problematic behaviour + the fact that she was a beard at all?

I ask because I think comparing her to OW (the most horrible ever) might be a bit excessive based on my current knowledge of her.

Thank you in advance!!

I don’t actually know anyone “repulsed” by her. She was hated in the first incarnation of Elounor—in part because some things she supposedly did that were racist/mean. But I think most of it has to do with how miserable Harry and Louis always looked and how she was used as a tool to keep them in line (which was the label/management’s doing).

I think there was this overall perception during the band years that she enjoyed upsetting Harry and that she had done some shitty things to him. Plus, there was a general consensus that her presence was emblematic of their closeting. So when they broke up in 2015 not long after all the craziness of 2014 and the big gay war, fans were really hopeful it was a good sign.

Of course, then we got party boy Louis and babygate. So, be careful what you wish for.

Elounor 2.0 was very different. Louis seemed to be in control of things this time and he looked far less miserable (although not exactly thrilled) and she was so low-maintenance as a beard. Other than the fucking E tattoo that he was forced to talk about incessantly (along with “me little lad” nonsense) in 2017, she basically made a few posts and showed up for a few shows and walked the dogs. She didn’t bother me in the least.

#elounor #elounope #stunts #bearding #closeting #for newbies

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emma-the-j0626 · 1 year ago

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Chilaios Reincarnation AU

I haven’t seen all of the story yet I’m watching the Anime and slowly gathering a Manga Collection. So Apologies for anything that couldn’t comply with Canon

So we know Chilchuck’s Lifespan is already gonna be shorter than Laios due to Race but also because he’s basically Middle-aged on top of that so just, in post canon he is sadly gonna be the first to go of the Party, and I think that because of the Winged Lion maybe somehow Laios is also lasting longer just cause of some curse shenanigans.

So what if Chilchuck passes and is later reincarnated as another Half foot who has heard the legends of The King of Golden Country who had a party that surrounded him. Who had a Halffoot that he held dear to him. Which this new iteration of Chilchuck has been told he looks very similar to. Maybe this Incarnation meets with Laios before he passes and Laios gets a look in his eyes of recognition, But just moves on sullenly never addressing it, and leaving Chilchuck with a feeling in him that he never could place. Maybe when Laios passes he Reincarnates and the new incarnations meet once again very similar circumstances but once again the age gap causes Chilchuck to leave him once again. And this happens over and over again where they reincarnate and keep meeting briefly and have their relationships but just keep missing and one of them leaves too early. But finally in a more modern time, the golden country’s story and reemergence has become more legend than history, but the story of the King, his lover and his party are still deeply engraved in history. And maybe finally in this modern world half foots live as long as Tallmen, and finally Chilchuck and Laios are together for the entirety of their lifespans no longer leaving the other too soon for them to follow.

TL;DR: Chilaios au: where Chilchuck and Laios always meet when reincarnated, but keep barely missing each other, and finally, after a long time, they can spend the rest of their lives together.

#dungeon meshi spoilers #this has been sitting in my head for days #the brainrot is real #maybe I'll draw this later #chilaios #dungeon meshi #chilchuck dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon fanart #delicous in dungeon #laios touden #laios dungeon meshi #dunmeshi #chilchuck #chilchuck tims #chilchuk dungeon meshi #chilchuk tims

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redrandomposts · 8 months ago

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Hullo :>

I'm coming from the Till watching himself fuck it up post (it was so great) and like idk I have this vision of the Tills occasionally being allowed to get into the current Ivan's dreams sometimes or even better: it's just one dream for lifetime and them just beating each other up for who gets to go and get some Extremely Special Never Again Happening Ivan Time™

Or maybe it's just everytime the Till from the previous lifetime and it just ends up being a slew of apologies for what they did/did not do and promises they can't keep they make them anyway. Ivan's just there so confused because what is Till going on about? But even so it's such a sweet dream with Till doting over him like that, even if he's talking about things that don't exist like zombies and androids, and Ivan just assumes it's a weird dream but is weirdly happy the day after every time

Maybe the only one who's never gone is og Till who refused to risk it the first time and hoped he was watching the second timeline go well and then never had the chance to get his turn because of all the other Tills.

Idk it's silly but I wanted to share :]

hi!!

i like the idea of multiple dreams per timeline... because each till can try to convince an ivan to change their fate, to confess and fall in love together. it always fails, or it backfires, and soon they realize that it's hopeless. still, they try and try.

through these dreams, each till knows the feel of ivan's lips, the taste of his tongue, the warmth of his hug—and it hurts more, because as they see ivan get heartbroken and dies, they know.

(what's worse is the hope ivan has, different from other times, convinced that maybe till had visited his dream and told him that he was the one. the hope shatters as till rejects him, and maybe it was the hope that built up, because ivan cries for the first time any till has seen. his tears are the incarnation of his hope of love, fruitlessly running down his face. soon, it becomes a rule not to interfere with the current universe's love life. no one wants to see him cry again)

im gunna eat ivan up i swear

#au idea #alnst ivan #alnst #alnst till #ivantill #tillivan #alien stage #angst

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veryanguishedgentleman · 1 year ago

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if you saw me post this days ago no you didnt because it wasnt satisfactory. first post of the new year technically 😁 bunch of information under the cut

i will also be using this as a way to talk about my version of jonathan (apologies if the quality isn’t incredible, this is a very non-detailed description for a lot of parts that i cant find the right words for or decide on) He’s crazy, an absolute psychopath and is completely aware that it’s harmful to others and sometimes even himself but he really just doesn’t care to change all that much, he’s accepted and embraced his own insanity, he doesn’t even blame Batman for how he’s turned out. He’s completely obsessed with fear, that being a piece of his motivation to seek fights with Batman at times, as he’s the only man that Jonathan truly fears. His biggest drive in general is his own research on fear, but his obsessive tendencies have caused his spiraling mental state. He has fun doing his experiments and even more fun when he’s tormenting or terrorizing the people of Gotham, sometimes taking on a sort of childish enjoyment out of cheap scare tactics and shit like that. When interacting with the other rogues he feels disdain towards most of them excluding about two of them. He doesn’t care much for getting people to like him or being civil, most of the time spooking them for thrills (by spooking i mean he enjoys being creepy and eerie rather than like run-and-hide type terror that he employs when scaring the general public and his victims) story wise his story is very similar to most incarnations of the character Jonathan as a child was bullied, used to be a professor of psychology at Gotham university until being fired, but he was hired at Arkham shortly before many of the criminal personas that reside there now arrived, although was fired after being revealed as the Scarecrow after appearing around 1-2 years into Batman��s career, he personally treated a few of the rogues during his time at Arkham. ASK ME ANYTHING ABOUT MY VERSIONS OF ANY OF THE ROGUES PLEASE PLEASE PELASE!!! IM CRAZY!!! 😁😁

#jonathan crane #dc comics #scarecrow dc #scares and crafts #art #batman villains

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bsd-obsessed · 2 years ago

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Soukoku and the mafia

After a million years, I’m finally back with an analysis. I’ve already kind of analyzed Dazai and Chuuya as individual characters but I purposefully left behind something that was fundamental for both of their characterizations and that played a big role in molding their actual personalities. Yes, I’m talking about the environment they grew up in: The mafia.

Because the length and the complexity of the topic, I decided to make an entire post just about this. Obviously there will be spoilers of the anime, manga and light novels so be aware of that.

*Also a friendly reminder that english is not my native language, so I apologize if there’s any grammar or ortographic mistake or if something is worded in a weird way, I just hope is not bad enough that you can’t make sense of it at all. This is also extremely self indulgent and extremely long.

I’m gonna start by establishing the main premise of this analysis and the idea I will be defending in the next parragraphs:

The mafia is literally the worst place for skk to be in (and yes, I’m talking about BOTH of them)

Now this is a bold sentence because the immediate response would probably be something among the lines of “well duh, the mafia is a horrible place for everyone” and yes but also no. The mafia affects soukoku in a special way that is vastly different to how it affects the other characters in the mafia.

I’ve found that the mafia is one of the most misunderstood points in the series (Cycle of abuse, I’m looking at you) so I’m gonna talk about it. Back in chuuya’ analysis, I talked about how he shouldn’t be in the mafia. I wasn’t talking about this in terms of “Chuuya is majorly speaking a good person” and “The mafia is a morally bad place”, that’s pure bullshit and certainly not what I was referring to.

When the fandom talks about the mafia there are two major points of view. Either they saw it as hell incarnate or they see it as the “bad” protectors of the city, kind of a twisted family. And while both of this opinions are not /completely/ wrong, they’re also NOT right. Once again, the problem is that the fandom /still/ insists on assigning a moral category to something that is far more complicated than that. Yes, it’s the mafia, it’s literally a place of crime, it’s /obvious/ they’re gonna do morally bad things but they are also an important part in the tripartite framework and a major reason of why the city is still standing, this are not mutually exclusive. And that’s because the mafia is not a morally oriented organization.

The next biggest mistake when it comes to this topic is thinking of Mori and the Mafia as synonyms. People loves to blame Mori for every single thing that happens, there is always an entire section of comments that always claim “Normalize blaming Mori for everything” and that’s just /plainly/ wrong. I need you to understand that the mafia existed before Mori and will exist after Mori and it still will require of a leader that have certain type of characteristics. The reason Mori is the perfect leader for this organization is because he perfectly represents the mafia ideology NOT the opposite. Is Mori who adapts himself to the mafia, not the mafia adapting to him. Obviously he is in charge and he gets to influence and dictate the actions of the organization, the same way the old boss did (and he made a shit hole out of it) but the mafia as it core exists as a concept that can not be altered not matter who is in charge of it. And that’s what we have to understand.

Let’s start by defining it:

“An economic body that uses violence as it’s currency” -Mori

And that’s it, that’s the first and most important thing you gotta understand about the mafia. It’s not about bad people doing bad things for the sake of it. It’s not about morally grey people saving the city because of the good in their hearts. The mafia as it core is about money, is about benefits, is about gaining the most. It’s an economic body.

They will kill, kidnap and torture? Yes but they won’t do it because they’re bad, they will do it only if there’s something to gain out of it. They save the city and stop the other criminal groups? Yes, but it’s not because they are secretly good people. It’s to maintain the monopoly of the crime in the city and protect their territory where they have all the money and where they do their negotiations. There /are/ people in the mafia who genuinely care about the city like Mori, Chuuya, Tachihara or Hirotsu, I don’t doubt there are other people as well who cares about it but those are personal motivations that have absolutely nothing to do with the mafia as an institution. Because the mafia as it’s own entity only cares about the gains and losses.

So when we talk about the main difference between the Mafia and the ADA is not about morality. Both organizations are full of morally grey people, both of this organizations are ready to do criminal activities if required. The main difference is the objectives behind them. The ADA is a organization of people for people.

“There is no agency more valuable than human life”- fukuzawa about the ADA, first light novel

The ADA is about doing their best to help people, is about prioritizing human life above everything else. And when they do criminal acts? It’s because it was the only way to preserve as many lives as possible.

The mafia on the other hand is about gaining money and resources and it’s about securing the survival of it as as Institution doing whatever is necessary to achieve it.

“These magical stones always led to violence and bloodshed, and the only thing that could stop this violence and maintain a stable system was even more violence”— Chuuya, stormbringer.

In the last chapters we realize that even though the ADA as an organization technically doesn’t exist anymore (because they were seen as a terrorist group) they still can perfectly exist as long as the members are alive. They can make another organization but they can’t just replace one of their members, that would be a critical hit for them. That’s abysmally different to how the mafia conduces itself. It doesn’t matter how many people die, they can be easily replaced but if the mafia as an institution falls? Then they lose everything. So this means, that the ADA will sacrifice the organization as many times as necessary if by doing it, they can protect it’s members meanwhile the mafia will sacrifice as many people as necessary if by doing it they assure the survival of the mafia as an institution. And this has been shown again and again and again. It’s because of this main objective that the mafia by definition and independently of Mori, needs to be: Extremely Rational, utilitarian and deeply Machiavellian because if not, then it wouldn’t be able to survive. The mafia as an institution requires someone who will put the needs of the organization over personal feelings and even over the members of the institution if that’s the best option..

And that’s why Mori is the perfect leader of the organization, because he is the textbook ideal of what a Mafia boss should be. Mori is not known for being the cruelest or the evilest. He is known for being the most logical, not matter what. For always being cold and rational.

“Dazai, Do you know why I’m the boss? (…) I don’t posess an incredible skill like you or chuuya. Instead, however, I am a little better at something than the two of you. I can always predict exactly how many men I need to send into battle”- Mori, stormbringer.

To illustrate this better let’s talk about the death of the old boss and Odasaku.

First thing to understand is that people is not stupid, they always /knew/ that Mori killed the old boss. For fuck’s sake even the sheep who were a group of literal /kids/ that weren’t even part of the mafia knew that there was no way that the old boss died of naturally causes and casually left the mafia to Mori who coincidentally happened to be his doctor. They all knew but they are collectively playing pretend. Why? Because they recognize that Mori is the best option, because they know that Mori won’t sacrifice them without reason, he won’t ask them to do useless things. Every single action that Mori takes is for the benefit of the organization, is logical and can be defended using rational arguments and when he decides to sacrifice someone there’s also a reason behind it. And that’s the best option possible for a place like the Mafia. The mafiosos chose him because of it, but make no mistakes, if the time comes where Mori is more a liability than an asset then someone will most likely kill him and take his place exactly the way he did. That’s the way of the mafia. Just like Mori says, even in the top, everyone’s is a slave of the organization including himself.

Odasaku’s death was carefully planned and I’m not denying that there were personal reasons there, I’m not denying that part of it was to specifically aim to Dazai, being as part of training him to become the next boss of out of fear of Dazai killing him, Mori did this move knowing that Dazai was gonna be affected by it. But as much as all of you would hate to listen to it, it was also the most logical course of action. Just stop to think about it. You have this incredibly powerful asset, someone who is extremely competent, someone who is insanely strong but you can’t use him because he refuses to do any important task, he refuses to kill. He is basically wasted talent. But then there’s an opportunity to gain something extremely valuable (the ability’s permission) and you just have to eliminate one powerful group of people and hey, your liability happens to be the /perfect/ person for the job, so what do you do? What Mori did may be horrible but also was a genius move. He destroyed an entire organization while sacrificing one single person who was useless to him anyway. He gained something that was vital for the organization with basically no losses. Yes, he sacrificed the children and that’s fucking sick and horrible but they weren’t his responsibility, the organization was. The kids weren’t part of the organization, sacrificing them doesn’t translate to any significant losses to the mafia. That’s why Dazai is so frustrated by the end, because he lost his best friend, he is suffering but he can’t deny that Mori was logical about it, he can’t deny that that was rational. Even in beast there’s this whole part explaining how difficult it was to defeat mimic without oda, do you know what does that mean? Dazai probably sacrificed a large number of people to do it and even if he didn’t why would you as the Leander of the organization would take the most difficult path when there’s other that is far easier and cheaper? And just like that, every single one of Mori’s actions can be explained with a logical process behind it.

I feel like the biggest argument to understand that even though Mori represents the Mafia ideals, the mafia is still an independent organization of Mori is Beast. He is not the mafia boss in beast but the mafia basically remains exactly the same organization, akutagawa is not suffering but Atsushi is. People are suffering exactly the same, the only different thing is /who/are the ones suffering. Sure, someone can argument that Dazai was not trying to be the best leader, just to save Odasaku but the whole point is that generally speaking he had to make enough of a decent job to maintain the order in the city. Under Dazai’s command the mafia was more powerful than they were with Mori in charge. And it’s horrible, but that’s the only way to rule it. Otherwise the whole organization would fall apart. So to summarize the horrible environment of the mafia is NOT because of mori. We already saw the mafia in charge of the old boss, of Mori and of Dazai and the environment is kind of the same with slightly worse or better differences and that’s because again there are parts of the mafia that can’t be altered independently of who is in charge.

“A leader is simultaneously at the top of the organization and still a slave to it as a whole. You need to be willing to get your hands dirty to keep the organization afloat and thriving. A leader develops their subordinates and places them wherever they best fit and disposed of them if necessary. I will gladly perform the most heinous acts for the sake of this organization. That’s what it means to be a leader”- Mori, fifteen

Mori is far from perfect, he is horrible and sick and also have lots of personal interests, he also uses the organization to a certain degree to achieve them. But this is not fake. He will put the organization over everything else. That’s what it means to be the boss of the mafia.

So now that we got that out of the way and we learn to differentiate Mori from the mafia and we now understand that the mafia is not a moral organization but an economic body, we can start explaining why the mafia is such a terrible place for Dazai and Chuuya especifically. Let’s start with Dazai. We already discussed it but for the mafia to accomplish it’s main objective it needs to have certain characteristics.

Rational

Utilitarian

Machiavellian

Do this words remind you of someone?

“Your blood is mafia black”

Have you ever wondered why even though chuuya is the one with the greatest body count, Dazai is the one that always seems to be like the worse of them? Why Dazai is the first one to come to mind when they talk about the next mafia boss?

It’s because just like Mori he perfectly embodies the ideals of the mafia as an institution. He is brilliant, kind of apathetic, cold, rational, manipulative and he is naturally an utilitarian (philosophy that believes that the best action is the one that produces happiness to the most people) and Machiavellian (ideology that puts one’s goals over everything else, discarding the moral consequences and the ethics qualifications) this can be summarized to one simply sentence: Dazai is the type of person who is result oriented, it doesn’t matter the means, just the final result and that’s exactly the kind of ideology that the mafia needs to exist. And that’s just part of his natural personality.

So why the mafia is such a bad place for him if it seems like it’s the most natural place for him to be?

If this is the first thing that came to your mind:

Then you’re wrong and I’m here to spit in this idea of cycle of abuse.

Okay so first of all, people refer to “cycle of abuse” to the wrong thing. You’re actually referring to intergenerational abuse and even more than that you are all thinking about the /individualized/ abuse of one person to other than then replicates the same thing in someone else. Thing is, if we make this cycle we will arrive to Mori and I just wrote half a bible of why this is factually incorrect, so don’t make me say it again. Then, there’s the second biggest issue here, this is /incredibly/ reductionist. There /are/ parallelisms in this relationships, yes. But I need you to understand that even though they were indeed abused to a certain degree, they are all part of the mafia which is an abusive place to begin with and by definition. There was no way for them to not suffer this and they weren’t the only ones, everyone in the mafia was abused one way or another and it came from different places not just one specific person . Now let me start with the thing that bugs me the most of this cycle.

It obligates me to defend Mori

See, I can perfectly understand Dazai and Akutagawa being here because even though Aku was manipulated and used for more people in the mafia than just Dazai is a fact that he was the main abuser. It’s true that is was a target abuse and that was repetitive and degrading every single time. Akutagawa is now basically a glorified Pavlovian experiment thanks to Dazai. Yes, Dazai cares for him, yes Dazai actually was trying to teach him and to make him stronger. The intention here is secondary, akutagawa still ended up deeply traumatized and with a pathological need of recognition to survive.

Now akutagawa and kyouka? This one is more questionable because we know that Kouyou and Akutagawa had kind of a twisted version of shared custody when it came to her. So kyouka was abused for more than one person and not necessarily in an intergenerational abuse so the cycle is no longer a cycle right? But okay let’s go with it. We have actual canon proof that akutagawa abused her replicating Dazai’s methods with him so it can still qualify.

But Dazai and Mori? WHERE?

In all the story there’s no proof that Dazai was abused in this way by Mori.

It simply doesn’t exist, it’s just a headcanon that became so popular that everyone started to believe it. Yes, Mori exposed Dazai to a murder when he was fourteen and that’s a form of abuse, true. But have you noticed that most of the mafiosos got into the mafia when they were teenagers or even literal kids (Q was six, gin was also younger than Dazai) they were ALL exposed to this form of abuse. This doesn’t make it okay, of course but it’s not the kind of individualized abuse that you all love to talk about. “He manipulated him” true, he also manipulated oda, Ango, Chuuya, Q, etc. Again it certainly wasn’t personal or out of place for a mafia boss. And again IT’S NOT A CYCLE. We also have absolutely no evidence of Mori being physically or sexually abusive towards Dazai. He psychologically abused of him? Yes but once again there’s no evidence of it being worse than it was with other people. It’s plausible of course, because Dazai worked directly under him but for the most part it doesn’t seem like he was specifically horrible towards Dazai. You want to talk about Mori being horrible with someone? At least choose the right person because yosano is right there. Dazai had most of this personality traits before meeting Mori, so it’s not like Dazai was a perfectly sane and happy kid that would’ve been normal of he was picked up by a good person, he was not ranpo or yosano. Let’s also add that Dazai seemed to be incredibly desensitized to violence even at fourteen. We can’t blame Mori for his character traits but we can certainly blame him because he made them worse.

So if not for this, then why Dazai shouldn’t be in the mafia? Is not for the abuse, is not for the moral implications, then why?

Easy, the real reason it’s because of Dazai’s core as character. Dazai doesn’t care for the mafia, he doesn’t care for power and even though he naturally seeks the benefits out of every situation that also is not his core as a character. His core is and always be: Humanity. That’s what Dazai is looking for, that’s his nucleus as a character and that’s the reason the mafia is the worst place Dazai can be in, regardless of his abilities.

Dazai gets into the mafia trying to find a reason to live, trying to understand humanity so that would make him close to his own and it really seemed like the perfect plan, it was logical. The mafia certainly is a place where death is part of life, emotions are raw and most often than not genuine. Then why It didn’t work? Why his mental stake kept deteriorating more and more? Because it took him farther away from his humanity. I’ve said it before but the reason Dazai felt inhuman is because of a permanent sense of alienation and isolation. Dazai already has certain characteristics that make it harder for him to establish emotional bonds with people. His brain also moves faster than everyone’s else’s, so for him is so /easy/ to stop looking people as individuals and look at them as pieces to use and discard. The mafia is the worst place for him to be because it enhance this characteristics, the mafia impulses him to use them because that makes him the best asset but that also makes him incredibly miserable because it worsens the alienation thus increasing the deshumanization. Also the mafia makes him intellectualize as a coping mechanism which worsens his self awareness that to begin with is pretty poor. That’s not all, because of the nature of the mafia Dazai who already has trust issues ends up even worse so it isolates him even more. The only moments he seems to be closer to his humanity is with people like chuuya or Oda, and the hilarious thing about it is that they both are basically the opposite of what the mafia represents. More than that, Chuuya actually obligates him to go back to earth and start acting less as a god and more as a human being.

Which also explains why the ADA is better for Dazai than the mafia. Is not because of morality, is because is an organization that revolves around people so it obligates him to interact and create relationships with people, and even if they’re not 100% honest. It still decrease his alienation and isolation and being him closer to his humanity. That’s the reason the ADA is the best place for him.

Similarly but in a completely different way there’s chuuya, except that he is a thousand times more tragic than Dazai and every time I stop to think about him I want to sob, scream, throw up.

Dazai has the characteristics to be the perfect mafioso but his nucleus make it impossible for him to be one. Chuuya doesn’t have the characteristics to be a mafioso and also has the same nucleus as Dazai.

So the premise is: The mafia and chuuya are irreconciliable ideas and it’s a miracle that it’s still working.

We already went through everything that the mafia represents, we already know that by /definition/ the mafia is a place where you have to deshumanize other people and yourself in order to survive. It’s not a surprise that is the WORSE place in the world for the two people whose whole characterizations revolves around humanity.

But in chuuya’s case, his whole personality and ideological system directly clash with the mafia. Is fucking tragic. Let me remind you that chuuya gain his whole sense of humanity and identity out of the relationships he makes with people. Chuuya /cares/ for people, that’s just the kind of person he is. You CAN’T ask him to start viewing this people that are /everything/ to him just like chess pieces that can be sacrificed at any moment. That would be the equivalent of spitting in his sense of humanity, to take away his reason to live and his identity. That would completely break him. So chuuya keeps making bonds with people and suffering Every. Single. Loss. Because the mafia is a place of sacrifice and he can’t stop it not matter how hard he tries. And that it’s also devastating in a whole new way.

“His eyes were tainted with Darkness just like everyone in the mafia. It was a murky darkness-one that viewed human lives as mere numbers”- about Arthur, fifteen

This is the mafia, this is the mindset needed to be there. This is also precisely the opposite of everything that chuuya is. Chuuya survives because he can’t view human as numbers. People are the most precious thing in the world for him.

This is chuuya Nakahara:

You value your friendships and make decisions accordingly. I suppose you could call this human nature- Adam, stormbringer

Chuuya is in a place where people die and no one cares, because they were simply numbers, because they don’t exist as individuals not really.

“Countless people died, but the incident hardly remained in anyone’s memory”- stormbringer

The flags died and no one aside from him cared, after that he made new friends that were also killed in the same fucking year and once again nobody stopped, just him. The mafia just replaced them and acted like it was nothing. And meanwhile:

“-Chuuya you smell like incense. Did you go visiting those graves again?- shirase about chuuya, stormbringer

Chuuya keeps visiting those graves because even when no one remembers them, he does, because they were his friends, they were individuals. Hell, leave alone his friends, Chuuya fucking goes to talk to Arthur’s grave. That’s the type of person he is

Chuuya is emotional, he is straightforward, he is honest, he /cares/. Chuuya’s so opposite to the mafia ideals that it would be funny if it didn’t make me want to eat glass. In order to be in this organization he has to go against his personality, against his values and against his moral code. Do you have an idea of how tiring that is? Of how much that affects him? Even if he refuses to notice? So chuuya solved his conflict, he found his humanity but he did it in a place that constantly tries to take it away from him.

Now, how has he survived this long then? Because he has developed coping mechanisms but this only slow his downfall. It won’t stop it.

His first coping mechanism is one that I find /incredibly/ interesting. And I’ve never seen anyone talking about it: Selective deshumanization

This existed before the mafia but Chuuya made it stronger after becoming a mafioso. I’ve said it before, even though chuuya has so many hero like characteristics the reason he is a morally grey character is that he chooses. He decides that certain people are more important than others, he knows that he can’t protect everyone, he knows that in order to protect his people, he will have to sacrifice other people. So chuuya deshumanize that group of people as a defense mechanism, he needs to stop himself from looking at them as individuals. If you want examples of it, there’s Dazai, Randou, Addam and Verlaine. At first I really thought that it was a coincidence but it happens enough to be an identificable pattern. When skk met, Dazai got obsessed really fast, chuuya didn’t. Chuuya tried to keep his distance as much as possible because he knew that Dazai was an enemy. He didn’t make personal questions even though it was obvious that he found Dazai’s behavior weird, he refused as much as possible to give him personal information and more subtle but more important, Chuuya absolutely refused to call him by his name. He used lots of insults but never his name even when it was clear that he knew it, that was him trying to keep as much emotional distance as possible. And the moment he used it? It was over for him, because from there it doesn’t matter how much he tried he could never stop himself from looking at Dazai as a human being, worse than that, he ended up understanding him even against his wishes. Same happened with Arthur, he was just another crazy man obsessed with Arahabaki but the moment he talked about Verlaine? About how he was doing everything for his friend? He became a real person, he could identify with. Addam? Was just a bothersome machine, he also refused to call him by his name but by the end of it chuuya was using corruption because he considered Addam a friend that he loved regardless of his origin. Verlaine fucking ruined his life and killed the most important people in his life but once chuuya understood his reasons and his past, he empathized with him and defended that he indeed was a human being at the end of the day. What I’m trying to say is that chuuya tries to keep his emotional distance by deshumanizing people but he kinda fails. A LOT.

The second one is the anger. Chuuya can’t express his emotions easily, a lot of it came from the fact that he always had to be the strongest so it was impossible for him to express vulnerability and then he went into the mafia and if there’s a bad place to be vulnerable, this is it. Chuuya deals with every strong emotion transforming it into anger because that’s an emotional he can control. The devastating thing is that It doesn’t only apply for bad emotions, even when he is happy or grateful he feels like he can’t express it and that makes me want to jump from a very tall something.

The third one is evasion. I find this particularly funny because in almost every fanfic Dazai is the one that evades his feelings and just decides to stop thinking about certain stuff when in canon the one that does that is chuuya. Dazai intellectualize as a way of dealing with feelings because he doesn’t know how to process them, and he overthinks a lot because he can’t stop himself from doing it. That is why his brain is his worse enemy. Chuuya, on the other hand, just evades. He supress all the emotions that he can’t exteriorize as anger, he supress his worst fears and his biggest insecurities, he put all of it into a mental box and throws away the key. But they are still pretty much there, lurking in the dark. Most of his “instinctual” actions are in reality guided by all of this things that he is trying so hard to hide.

And the last one? Is probably the worse one. We already establish that Chuuya can’t deshumanize the people in his group so he tries so absurdly /hard/ to protect them. He is always ready to sacrifice himself if by doing it he can save the people he loves, he carries too much, so the rest won’t have to do it, he takes the worse jobs, he is in the front lines, he is always ALWAYS the one to be hurt first. It may seem different but he is basically in the same situation as he was with the sheep. Except that now is not his people that are asking for his sacrifice, now he is doing it himself. Because he knows that the people he loves can be stolen from him in any moment, so he over compensates by doing everything he can to avoid it.

“The moment you get your hands on something worth going after, you lose it”- Dazai, Dark era.

Not in the same way, never in the same way because that would be sacrificing his humanity but chuuya’s thought process is not that different from Dazai. He doesn’t avoid relationships, though, he does everything in his power to avoid losing them JUST LIKE DAZAI DOES. Dazai knows that he can’t control everything, he knows that the world is absurd and full of irregularities but it’s terrifying to live in this kind of world, so he tries to predict everything, he tries to be three steps ahead of everyone else even if that make him feel less of a human being, because maybe then he can make a difference, maybe then he can protect what he has. Chuuya does basically the same thing, in order to protect his people, he will be the strongest, he won’t fall, he won’t ask for help, he will be the one carrying everything. Do you have an idea of how lonesome that is? To know that you can’t depend on anyone? Chuuya is a people’s person but he is so incredibly /lonely/. He can never be their equal because he is too busy trying to protect them. And this happens because the mafia is just like this, a place of sacrifices. A place of losses. It’s not a place for long lasting relationships.

At least two of this coping mechanisms lead him to deshumanization even when he tries his best to avoid precisely that. So chuuya basically lives in the worst dilemma in earth and this much contradiction will kill him one day.

The only reason he is still able to be there is because in his position as executive he had never been in a position in which he had to choose between his friends and the major benefit of the organization.

Chuuya as the next mafia boss? is laughable

The whole organization would crumble in DAYS. And that’s because chuuya goes against the single most important principle of the organization.

He is loyal to the people in the mafia, not to the organization

Chuuya will sacrifice the whole organization in a minute for its members, that’s literally the OPPOSITE of what the mafia stands by. He can’t sacrifice in cold blood a friend, he just can’t do it, that goes against everything that he is. He refused to sacrifice Adam even though at that moment that seemed like the only option to save the city and the mafia and he still REFUSED. Because he simply can’t sacrifice a friend. It’s impossible to him. Q is another good example of how much of a terrible leader chuuya would be. Believe it or not killing Yumeno was the opposite of what a proper mafioso should’ve done. There’s a reason Mori ordered to bring Q alive and that’s because rationally speaking yumeno is a weapon, killing him won’t bring back the people that already died and honestly speaking Q’s life is far more valuable than most of the mafiosos but for chuuya? It wasn’t the case, he couldn’t be rational because /his/ people died because of Q because for him was more important to prevent this from ever happening again than to use Q.

So to summarize chuuya is stuck, he can’t leave the mafia because that could be to go against his identity and sense of humanity but staying there is slowly killing him because it obligates him to go against everything he is and to be completely lonely in a place that is dead on deshumanization. So he basically lives in a state of pressure and constant stress while feeling trapped and saying to himself that he is where he should be. The ideal place for chuuya, funnily enough would be the ADA. And I’m not saying this for Dazai but because of the objectives of the ADA. A place that is oriented to people, a place that values relationships, a place that revolves around protection. It drives me mad everytime I think about how ridiculous ADA coded chuuya is only to be in the mafia.

Okay so basically that is the end of the rant, if you read all the way to here, congratulations and thank you for your time.

#bungou stray dogs #bsd chuuya #bsd dazai #soukoku #bsd #bsd spoilers #analysis #mafia analysis #bsd mori #me fangirling about chuuya #what’s new #this somehow is longer than the two past analysis #sorry for being depressing

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