#are still worthy of basic decency

[lady12maiden]

Tumblr is the only website where one can literally advocate for fascist eugenics but with the right tags and groups, they'll be seen as progressive

[my-thirteenth-reason]

kicking my feet and giggling (<- just got apologised to)

[what-even-is-thiss]

I often say that most people are fine.

I don’t like to make wide assumptions about all of humanity all at once. If you claim that most people are evil, someone can point to examples of people that are good. If you claim that most people are good, someone can point to examples of people that are evil.

I’m a very religious person (not in a conservative way) and a lot of the way I think is filtered through my beliefs but I also mostly interact with non christians in my day to day life because of my family and the friend circles I’ve ended up in and thus I’ve learned how to secularize certain concepts I think about for my own social survival.

When I say that most people are fine I’m thinking about what I’ve heard Lutherans call the sinner/saint dichotomy or the sinner/saint paradox. Which is also a concept that can be secularized but I’m gonna explain the idea before I secularize it for you.

Original sin exists somewhere in humanity whether you believe in a literal garden of Eden or not but we were also simultaneously made perfect by God. We are all of us both at the same time sinners and saints.

I’ve heard people say that the idea of telling people that they’re fundamentally flawed and/or sinners is a terrible thing to do. I agree that you shouldn’t make someone feel broken just for existing but at the same time we are all capable of terrible things. I do believe in sin. Not in the you’ll be damned to hell way but in that we all do things we know are wrong or hurtful kind of way. Not every sin is equal. Stealing a pen isn’t as severe as murder for example but we all do wrong.

At the same time though we are capable of great good. And neutrality. Those are also important things to acknowledge.

I say most people are fine because I believe in this sinner/saint dichotomy. If you want to secularize the idea, you could just say that all of us are capable of doing terrible things, but all of us are also capable of doing great things.

You are not a fundamentally irredeemable person. You are always worthy of love and consideration and basic human decency. You are valuable. Your value is inherent. You are capable of great kindness and generosity.

At the same time though you also have the ability to do wrong. To hurt others. To create suffering at a potentially massive scale.

Ignoring either part of yourself entirely is just dishonest in my opinion. No I don’t think you should be punished for thought crimes. I don’t believe in thought crimes. However if you go through life under the impression that you are always good and never in the wrong then the part of you capable of doing harm will thrive with this mask on.

It does seem though that most people at least try to do good mostly. They often fail because we are flawed beings. Being flawed is just a natural part of human existence. So is your inherent worth and goodness.

So. Most people are fine. The good part of them probably wins out more often than not but they can still be dicks at times. They can be ignorant. They can be a bit selfish. They’re mostly fine though.

People are fine. You’re probably fine. I hope I’m at least sort of fine. We’re alright I guess. We’re at least trying to bend a bit more towards being better. That’s all we can do really. No matter what you believe. Just try your best.

[samimarkart]

trying to ground myself lately and remember the strength we have when we love one another and help our neighbors. as individuals we may live very different lives than those in our community, but we are all worthy of respect, love, basic human rights and decency.

I have been especially thankful for the monarch butterfly imagery l've seen used by others talking about immigration and migration - if you ever have the joy of holding one in your hand, they are incredibly delicate and yet still well suited to their very long journey. i love my country, the immigrants in it who share their community and vibrancy, and i love those who are bravely kind and tender.

[fameandfiction]

IMAGINE PART I: “We're Not Dating™ but She’s Folding My Underwear” — Reneé Rapp x Reader

— Cohabiting energy.

The morning starts like every other chaotic, barely-held-together weekend you’ve shared: cereal in wine glasses because the dishwasher is somehow always running, mismatched socks on both of you, and Reneé humming off-key to a song you know she wrote but still refuses to admit exists.

She’s folding your laundry on the couch. Not even in a cute, Instagram-worthy way — she’s literally balling up your socks and tossing them into a pile with her knee. She holds up your ratty “Women Don’t Owe You Shit” tee like it’s sacred scripture.

“Why do you still wear this?” she says, already folding it.

“Because you always sleep in it when I’m not home,” you reply without thinking.

She doesn’t answer. Just presses her lips together and folds it with a little more care.

You’re sitting cross-legged on the floor next to her, pretending to scroll through your phone, but mostly watching her do this completely unnecessary chore with the casual tenderness of someone who’s done it a hundred times before.

And then it happens. She finishes the last pair of underwear — yours, of course, the lacey black ones that say “angel” in rhinestones on the waistband — and folds them.

“Okay,” you deadpan, pointing. “That’s gay.”

She doesn’t even flinch. Doesn’t blink. Doesn’t look up.

Instead, she stacks the folded pair on top of the pile, claps her hands together once, and says:

“Babe, we’re practically married at this point.”

You blink. “We are not.”

“You sleep in my bed five nights a week.”

“Because your bed has the good pillows.”

“I pay for your oat milk.”

“That’s just basic human decency.”

She leans in a little, grinning now. “You have a toothbrush at my place. Two, actually — one in my bag, for travel. Like a wife. Like a cute, clingy wife.”

“You steal my hoodies.”

“You write my initials in the tags.”

“…Okay, that one is fair.”

There’s a pause, the kind that thickens the air. You’re both suddenly aware that the TV is paused on a frozen frame of Below Deck: Mediterranean, and the laundry basket is half-full with her sports bras and your matching pink socks.

Reneé throws her arm over the couch dramatically. “Just say it.”

“Say what?”

“That you’re in love with me and this is basically a domestic partnership and the only reason we’re not married is because you’d insist on eloping in secret like we’re in a French indie film.”

You scoff, grabbing a throw pillow and smacking her gently with it. “You’re insufferable.”

“I cook you dinner.”

“You burn everything but frozen dumplings.”

“I know your period cycle.”

“…Okay, that’s actually kind of hot.”

She smirks, scooting closer. “So admit it. We’re together. We’re nesting. This is textbook gay behavior.”

You sigh, giving in because the truth is you folded her hoodie last week and sprayed it with your perfume before returning it. “Fine. But only because you folded my underwear and didn’t make a single inappropriate comment.”

“I did internally,” she whispers, leaning in to nudge your nose with hers.

[Later, in a totally separate conversation with friends:]

“No, we’re not dating,” you say, as Reneé brings you your specific coffee order without asking, steals a fry off your plate, and tosses you the hoodie you forgot at her place.

Everyone just stares.

[emblemxeno]

a long time mutual of mine called edel a communist icon and i felt my whole being recoil........ its so hard sometimes because i dont interact with 3h or 3h fandom since im active for a different fe game but a lot of my fe acquaintances reveal they have positive feelings about her in a "shes right" kind of way and i hate that it automatically makes me lose respect for them. i hate that i even have to even think about this 3h discourse but it bugs me /so much/ how shes still viewed like that, 5 years and many extreme world events later. also thank you for your posts you make me feel sane again.

You're welcome and thank you for the kind words

What's crazy about giving Edelgard the communist label is that she misses many important marks of communist theory pretty handily: allocating resources to everyone according to their needs and ability, complete absence of private property or social statuses, eventually eliminating money and the nation-state.

She doesn't believe in allocation of resources based on needs and ability, she only believes in "people who work hard enough and correctly according to the emperor will get more"; she gets closest in her support with Linhardt but ultimately misses the swing by a mile because if she were an actual communist, she wouldn't have to twist her brain into a pretzel to accomodate someone who'd rather not work, and that's including a friend of hers.

She doesn't believe in the absence of private property or social status, because there are still high status, private property owners under her rule in CF. No, the only problem she has with status and property in Fodlan is the current method of attaining them, which is mostly hereditary and blood based. She has no issue of there being higher classes and privatized property so long as they prove to her and future emperors that they "worked for it."

There's never an indication that she wants money to eventually be done away with.

And desiring collapse of the nation state? The one with the map select line "for the Empire" and the goal of forced militarized unification of those who she deems are opponents who disagree with her aims? Yeah, that ain't her lmao.

Hell, take an example from Xenoblade 3, where the entire game is about rejecting wealth established leadership that profits off of militarization, and Noah, in response to Alexandria asking if her and Colony Iota (themselves a blend of merit/harworking allocation and utilitarianism) will be "useful" he says, "It doesn't matter. I don't see people that way."

People don't have to be useful, have merit, or anything similar to be deserving of basic rights, decency, security and comfort. Everyone deserves the baseline and the ability to get ahead, not rejected the opportunity nor have a lowered ceiling of accomplishment due to a single individual's (i.e. an Emperor's) perception of their failings.

Hell, Edelgard and Hubert's 'Likes' include "Talented individuals" and "Useful people" respectively. They like preaching that only they know what's best and what's worth it in the end, centralizing knowledge and power to their positions and letting people they deem worthy to have higher capabilities.

Pretty anti-communist to me idk

[bforblitz]

Malborn nation rise up!! some of my headcanons for our boy!!

(most of these are just some shit I made up with zero canon backing tbh)

General Headcanons

I am pushing SO hard for the “Malborn and Ronthil are related” agenda. I imagine they’re siblings and don’t know the other survived the fire

Physically around 25-26, absolute short king at 5’2” (157.48 cm)

Real name is Corian (I really want to see what other people headcanon his name is)

Considered to be physically very “plain” amongst Bosmer (average height, most common eye and hair color, etc.), but is considered cute by non-Bosmer

On that note, hates being called cute or cutesy nicknames. In general doesn’t like people commenting on his appearance, but he finds “cute” to be especially demeaning

Strong supporter of “all bosmer get antlers” and he’s no exception. Keeps his on the shorter side

Also a strong supporter of “bosmer have white fawn spots when they’re children that fade a when they’re older”. His are still somewhat visible, but only on his shoulders

Was a middle child with an older and a younger sister. His parents were expecting another child when they died

Favorite food is mushrooms and pheasant

Decent with a bow because everyone in Valenwood learns archery, but his hands shake a lot whenever he uses one (partially due to nerves, partially due to a lack of muscle). His aim is impeccable in other areas, though

Needless to say, has pretty bad anxiety

Likes to draw in whatever free time he has. He’s actually a pretty good artist

Fluent in Altmeris to the point he doesn’t have much of a foreign accent when speaking (more on this later)

Sneaks out information to Delphine on a monthly basis. He has a deal with the Khajiit caravans where they’ll take his messages to her in exchange for whatever he can steal from the Embassy

Has very neat and practiced handwriting

Doesn’t actually really like alcohol, it’s just part of his job

I wanted to give him a friend in the Embassy so I just made him and Brelas close. She’s like his younger sister

Very good at cooking and cleaning (he had a job at a tavern beforehand + headcanoned Bosmer gender roles)

Can’t swim

Has a very dry sense of humor

His specific job at the Embassy is a mix of cupbearer and one of Elenwen’s many personal servants. He can get all the intel Delphine wants because Elenwen dictates her letters while he writes them

Secures Delphine the party invitation due to his proximity to Elenwen (who thinks he can’t really understand Altmeris when he very much does)

“Malborn” is an uncommon but not unusual Bosmeri name

Has issues with his physical presence and body because he’s treated very poorly at the end of the day; being forced to work a job you hate for people who don’t see you as worthy of common decency tends to do that to you. basically he’s like an extreme version of a retail worker

Personally made him sex negative asexual, he just has those vibes as someone who is also that (definitely not projecting onto him and societal attitudes toward Bosmer men as an ace fem east asian whaaat)

Have a plot point where he gets an antler injury during Diplomatic Immunity. it’s still in the velvet stage, so it grows back wonky

Backstory Headcanons

From a slightly more traditional family, followed some of the Green Pact tenets when growing up. Tries to start again after leaving the Embassy

Mother is from Falinesti and owned an inn, father is from rural Valenwood. Both were closely affiliated with the Blades

Their basement served as a base of operations for the Blades, particularly Esbern and a young Delphine

Was highkey being molded into a Blades asset from a young age; both his education and physical location were tailored to make him a good informant (so yeah they did kind of plan out a lot of what happens to him)

Family was killed after the Falinesti Incident (he’s about 15), escaped with Delphine and Esbern to Arenthia, where he gets a job at a tavern

Delphine was stationed in Valenwood when the Great War breaks out, narrowly avoided getting hunted by the Thalmor. Convinced Malborn to escape with her to Cyrodiil

Got caught crossing the border (Thalmor made it illegal to leave the Dominion during wartime), Delphine escaped but he was arrested

Instead of getting killed, Elenwen “hires” him due to his proficiency in Altmeri and his background as a tavern worker in Arenthia (I don’t think he’s the type of person to willingly work for the people who killed his family and would kill him if they ever found out who he was)

Bro does NOT get paid for his work and has zero employee benefits outside of “not dying”. labor laws in Tamriel suck ass apparently

[ctheathy]

hiii i love your writing so much!!!and im so happy to see someone writing for Secret History Tails! could you write something about him with a reader who finds his "scarier" form really endearing? and they praise him and are very physically affectionate, much to his surprise

Secret History Tails w/ adoring!Reader

Secret History Tails x Reader

Fluff Headcanons

Short Concept

Author’s note : Yesss~! Let’s pamper this fox until he melts like a little wax candle🕯️🧡

SH Tails [TSAA]/Reader [Romantic Tendencies]

[Gender-neutral Darling|Female Darling|Male Darling]

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

To have somebody be interested in him as a whole is already a completely foreign concept to this fox. Much less the said person actually being aware of who and what he genuinely is. Tails has always just felt the need to deceive those around him and manipulative them, viewing them more as steppingstones for his own benefit instead of real creatures and making him even more distant towards the concept of love. Your touchy and affectionate demeanour catches the mobian completely off guard, as he’s not used to people being so ... joyful to even be around him. Heck, he remembers people not even looking in his direction back at his own dimension. Making him incredibly fragile to the offered kindness.

Tails usually isn’t one to care much for his physical appearances, his obsessions having gotten far too deep into his head to pay any mind. I can certainly see his fur being somewhat on the messy and oily side with how little he takes care of it. He oftentimes even fails to take care of himself as a whole in his position. But I can still see him growing somewhat hostile if it gets brought up through a negative way. If you compliment him though? He is going to be trembling on the spot and melt in your hands like silly putty. Please be patient with him, he tends to get incredibly overwhelmed and flushed when being put in a positive light. It only feeling obvious to him that he’s not even worthy of this kind of attention in the first place. Making him a bit awkward and shy.

It oftentimes catches even him by surprise by how much strength you hold over him.

He has never really had anybody give comments such as those directed in his way. But he’ll accept all of your sweet words with open arms and return the favour in an instant. Tails has always been one to praise and worship those who he loves and looks up to, you being no exception to his entitlement. He is quite needy for validation and is pretty touch starved himself, so as soon as he lets nature run its course when being around you; he cannot help but grow a deep bond and attachment to the way you treat him with care. It’s like an absolute drug to the fox, only leaving him to beg for more whenever you take some of your distance. The simple acts of basic decency and sweetness is enough to leave Tails completely compelled with you, leaving him in a complete submissive and vulnerable state when it comes to you and your thoughts about him.

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

[fayenomad]

Obscure things neurotypicals do that makes it really hard to not hate them

Generally speaking, I wouldn't say I "hate" neurotypicals because I don't believe in division into "authentic, kind and soulful neurodivergents" and "mean and shallow neurotypicals". I think humanity is way more nuanced than that. BUT, they're still the ones dominating the planet, so just daily interactions with them naturally bring frustrations that I'd like to talk about (because I feel like the topic of what's it like to exist around them daily as a ND person is not discussed enough - we should normalise it!).

So here are neurotypical attitudes that make me wanna pluck my own eyes out: 1. The "social etiquette" and "empathy" they preach about so much only applies to people they like ONLY. They have very little patience for pretending they respect as you as a person, even if you're doing everything "right". It's like they have hard time separating someone's perceived likeability from measuring how much of good/worthy they're in objective terms. Once they clock you as "annoying", say goodbye to rules of basic decency. They will apply them to everyone else but not you.

No matter how much you can try to meet their expectations and be as polite as you try to be, there's always something WRONG, or someone who just has to nitpick you over minor mistakes, or try to be in your business a little too much. It really feels like playing a rigged game sometimes. They will never admit this but they very often lowkey mistreat you, or take the misunderstandings a little too seriosuly, or seem offended by the most minor things you do simply because they don't like you/there's no chemistry. They'd 100% forgive someone else for doing the same thing, but not you. There might be some RSD component from my part to this but I bet you not, I had teachers who were very snarky/cold with me while being more open and more forgiving for other students (or those who just they liked more), or coworkers straight up pretending they don't know some information, being "so done" with my questions. You can tell some people - not everyone, but some - seem to be annoyed by you for no particular reason. Which wouldn't be bad as you can't be liked by everyone, if they wouldn't take it out on you. For the group of people who supposedly knows how one should behave socially, lots of them don't even know better than act unprofessional purely based off their personal, subjective preferences. Even towards children!

You're never anyone's favourite person, you're always on the peripheres of the social realm, tolerated by most and openly disliked by some. Always unsure of where you stand with people, always on the thin ice. You constantly feel like some nuisance, unless...

2. They want something from you. For me, that's the biggest pet peeve I have when it comes to them. They actually acknowledge the gifts you have because of your neurodivergence. They can compliment you for them, ask for your relationship advice, treat you like a therapist or just they want to hang out with you when they go through "rebellious, getting to know myself and exploring the parts of my personality that others would find unacceptable" phase. But don't think this will make you their equal. Privately, they love you, but in group settings, in public - they relish in subtle put downs, meaningful exchanging side eye glances between each other, or suddenly they don't seem to be that interested in hanging out with you that much. I've had a friend with which we had our own made up fantasy world, we were writing stories for each other, but at the same time, I could tell she didin't want to be seen with me at the functions, social outings. They use you for character development, secretly enjoying the way you make them feel - accepted, whole - but they don't reciprocate.

They're obsessed with what makes you different from them, actually. More than they'd like to admit. When these differences are useful for them, then you're best friend to have. When they make you seem "weird", they will still choose their neurotypical world over you. Every time. You're great for their personality points, terrible for their social points. And if you are a teenager who craved any friend badly, you most likely didin't notice you were just being used.

3. Their general love-hate approach to neurodivergent traits is hypocritical. The way they look up to celebrities who openly challenge social norms and derive their fame from the shock value and "bigger than life" or eccentric persona (think David Bowie, Lady Gaga, Doja Cat), hit the likes under motivational "be yourself" quotes, worship all the "nonconforming, I don't give a fuck" fictional characters would suggest that they have a lot of appreciation for showing middle finger to comfortable conformity. Well, it can't be further from the truth, even though plenty of these well liked celebrities and characters show neurodivergent traits.

While they drool over Netflix's Wednesday, they casually make fun of "that one person" who is slighty different from them irl. They love seeing themselves in ADHD or autistic coded characters, but once someone in fandoms mentions the connection, they seethe in the comments. They present neurodivergents as "special" and geniuses in media but they say "bring the bullying back" after seeing a kid who is into scene and anime.

They like us, but only as a fantasy. Or when they see neurodivergent traits as "cheat codes" for getting status. If you are different, you better apologise for it by being extremely smart, extra accomodating to their emotional needs or good looking. Ableism and classism really go well together; they perceive having social difficulties or just doing your own thing without a single care of what others think as a privelege only meant for high status people. If you don't have the status, you aren't some brilliant but misunderstood billionaire, and your story doesn't involve becoming a music star, your quirks, your stims, and many things that make you you are pathetic, obnoxious, annoying, and an invitation for them to emotionally abuse you in most covert ways. Why? Because to them, you're presenting yourself as someone with status (someone above them), someone undeserving of your own uniqueness. In their eyes, as a just regular person living among them, your "attempts" at being different are just laughable ways to feel superior to them. They quite literally assume that you have an agenda in being who you are. One time a classmate asked me "Why do you pretend to be stupid?". It doesn't occur to them that many people just don't want to subscribe to whatever social hierarchies and norms for the sake of it. It really messed with my head because this - and all the media presenting neurodivergents only as misunderstood, lonely geniuses - made me feel like I should achieve immense success just to like myself. Just to feel like I'm good enough. Not even for them - for myself.

4. Speaking of covert ways in which they abuse you - they make you develop trust issues in ways so subtle, vicious and hard to believe, that even therapists don't know what you're talking about when you tell them that everyone around you seems to be on some inside joke that you missed. Or like you're being weirdly watched when people ask you "normal" questions and spark up some conversations. Imagine feeling extremely uncomfortable by being held hostage by the small talks in which there's "no way out" because you know they wait for you to say something that will make you embarrass yourself or confirm something about you between each other. And now imagine trying to explain this to a most likely neurotypical, but well meaning therapist without sounding like a paranoid lunatic. And then you hear classic response: they were just trying to befriend you, it's just your RSD/social anxiety making your hypervigilant. Even better, when you try to distance yourself from such vaguely abusive environment, that's when they get a proof that you've always been antisocial, you don't like them and you "put up walls".

Eventually putting up walls becomes your second nature. You are always guarded, always looking for a setup, for a tiny glance, for a smirk. You no longer can tell when it's you catching on someone being fake nice to you for the lols, and when it's your traumatised ass trying to protect you from possible - and another - social humiliation tactic meant to put you on display like some zoo animal. Because you already know the pattern. You know what happens when people get closer to you. One time I was sitting on a bench with my friend who is on the autism spectrum. I had some chewing gum with me so I wanted to share. She asked me if that's my way of telling her that her breath stinks. She already anticipated the worst outcome and she needed confirmation that my simple gesture was genuine. Imagine living with a fear in your head that most people you meet try to "con" you for their entertainment. 5. They care more about the performance of productivity than being actually productive, hard working person. They sure love telling you you're lazy and that you shoud just "try harder", but try actually locking in hard and openly. I bet you, try starting to eat salads in front of your coworkers for days and talking about you hitting the gym for that summer bikini bod. Try telling your neurotypical colleagues about some of your ambitious plans. Try looking like you care about getting results in your job. You will get negs.

Don't get me wrong, not all neurotypicals don't wish you well and they want to sabotage you at every opportunity. But hell, it is dangerous for you to act like you work for success as an neurodivergent person. Any person really, but the difference with the ambitious neurotypicals here is that neurotypical way of being lazy is considered acceptable, while working hard - admirable or threatening (depending on the group they're dealing with). For the NDs, you're either "lazy" or a "tryhard". Nothing in between.

You can push yourself to the limits to meet bare minimum and still get a suggestion that you're too lazy. But if you suddenly start appearing serious about your private goals, or you no longer chase the bare minimum, prepare yourself for some crab in the bucket mentality. Even though it's never really your bucket, but you know, how dare you try to escape it. After all, you are supposed to work for their validation and not yours. I was suprised to see how neurotypicals are just relaxed at their jobs. They tend to be lenient, leave earlier than they should, make lots of breaks, look for so many opportunities to just avoid work. They joke about forgetting something from home, just not feeling like doing anything today, they like the idea of work-life balance. Again - so they should be accepting of you not doing your very best, right? Right?? Wrong. You will get lectured and get the hippie treatment, get unsoliticed advice on your productivity and made to feel like you're not doing enough...not because of your results, but because you "seem" lazy to them (that's mostly a case for ADHDers). Meanwhile, they brag about how just punctual they're or how much time they manage to have for their families, or how they just love not eating much. All while gossiping, chatting and not losing their minds over deadlines. On the other hand, they don't like it when someone else tries to do more than it is expected, and they roll their eyes at someone energetic, excitable and vigorous. They want you to do good, but not better than them. Good enough to be dependent on their approval, but not that good which would remind them of their insecurities. Being succesful is cool, but only if done effortlessly and within the unofficial rule of "always be nonchalant".

6. The last point isn't that obscure, but I'm putting it here anyway because the amount to which neurotypicals can't mind their own business towards neurodivergents is so excessive it ironically makes them look like the weird ones from the third person perspective. Although I want to be fair and say they also do it to anyone they perceive as social "threat", for example an alternative person.

Generally, they tend to participate in social policing of everyone around them, but while average NT comes across some judgmental neighbor or an aunt telling them that their biological clock is ticking from time to time, a neurodivergent person more often than not feels like the way they live their life is being put under a microscope much more often, and their lifestyle becomes something that can be up for an open debate.

You'd think it comes down only to behaviors that make you stand out, but no. Your most natural mannerisms, habits, preferences can get criminalised because you failed to say hello to someone, you didin't feel like accepting their donut or whatever other small way by which you did not treat them like a god they're.

It's your punishment for having enough self respect to not bow down to them for their crumbs of social validation. It's like they assume you wait for and crave their approval and they become so offended when they realise that you really don't, that now everything you do is "weird". It can be absolutely anything. In fact, I find the notion that they think that I'm supposed to care about fitting into their artificial boxes they made for me more aggravating than their attempts at putting me in them. They do so by "out-grouping" and ostracising you with banal and matter of fact statements like: You like P&J sandwich and you happen to enjoy it as a breakfast? -> "You just love your P&J sandwich, do you?"

You prefer wearing the same comfy hoodie often? -> "You always wear that hoodie." You refused to drink alcohol once -> "Y/N doesn't like drinks."

The ND person, especially when they happen to take statemens more literally starts losing their mind over "why they care so much". Meanwhile, they couldn't care less about your sandwitch, hoodie or your drinking habits. It's just their way of telling you "we notice you". They try to make the ND person feel self conscious this way.

One time at work I was eating a white youghurt in a big jar and the girl asked me if I'm eating mayonnaise.

What's most paradoxical about this is how they seriously believe they're the "socially appropriate" ones at this point. That’s what’s truly obscure about it: their conviction that this passive aggressive commentary, this micro-policing of others’ harmless choices, somehow elevates them.

They seriously believe they "own you" by pointing out most normal things you do, but it’s really them feeling uncomfortable with someone's self-possession. And ironically, from an outside perspective, it doesn’t make the ND person look strange - it makes them look absurdly obsessed with trivialities.

So to end this long read, I just don't like how hyper performative, petty and hypocritical neurotypicals are. They are walking contradictions who take and bend the very rules their created according to what suits them at the moment. They can't "turn off" the feature in their brain that makes them lowkey seek social power in every possible way. Even most introverted and "weird" neurotypicals are like this (just to lesser extent, or they simply care less). It's not about them craving popularity or status that much consciously as they simply follow their social instinct hard and without any questioning. Anyone who derives from that will be at some point made to feel uncomfortable. In all groups in which neurotypicals are the majority, which is most groups. The only difference is that each group will have different ways of making you feel like out of place idiot or a helpless child who got lost at supermarket.

If like me, you're sensitive kind of neurodivergent who had to consciously learn how to protect herself, you will have a hard time in almost all social settings until you learn to play their game.

You will always be on the lookout, always unsure, and always feeling like something isn't quite right.

People don't realise the intensity of this happening in neurodivergent folks lives. I can't think of single group in which I felt emotionally safe, except my neurodivergent friend group. It's not just few single occurences in our lives, it IS our life. It's something that never stops. Ever. No matter where you go, no matter how well you mask. No matter how much good of a person you are.

Eventually, you learn it's better to avoid neurotypicals alltogether and develop all plethora of methods to defend yourself. And it's not just a a byproduct of social anxiety, RSD, lack of confidence - it comes from being perceived as too different for their taste. Gaining confidence and becoming an assertive person makes you better at not caring about these hurtful behaviors, and getting neurotypicals to leave you alone, but the pattern itself rarely stops entirely. That'd require your autism/ADHD leaving your brain.

Neurotypicals do everything in their power to make the neurodivergent person become insecure nervous wreck with avoidant and self sabotage tendencies. They will keep destroying you like this over and over again, with a cute smile on their face. Posing as a best friend, as concerned colleague, as friendly coworker. Convicing you it's all in your head.

I'm here to tell you that it isn't in your head. That you can take back your power. That you deserve better.

[autistichalsin]

The world we live in right now is not particularly kind to caring about things, particularly in the online environment. Think about the increasingly popular online persona of someone who is above it all, doesn't care about anything, is just there to laugh at everyone. Think about the trends of incredibly cruel TikTok pranks, where the entire punchline is to emotionally devastate people and then further humiliate them for their reactions, or where animals are subject to incredibly harmful practices (coating reptiles in butter, etc) for people's amusement.

There is an entire movement, propelled by online personas, that sets to demonize the entire notion of caring- about anyone and anything- which is then followed by increasingly sadistic genres of posts that capitalize on this disconnect. Once caring is uncool, then basic decency will become uncool very soon after.

Needless to say, kindness isn't something that's particularly rewarded in this landscape. People who are kind will get mocked, accused of disingenuity, and more. The idea of open kindness makes people uncomfortable and people don't know how to deal with that.

So characters like Halsin are, to me, more important than ever, because not only is he kind, but he cares about everything, to the point of pain. He finds meaning in everything. There is no "just a tree" to Halsin; that tree has meaning. The tree has a story. It's endured storms and grown stress wood from it, it's housed birds, it's seen the changes of seasons. Animals are much the same; they are living creatures with emotions and needs, and a capacity for fear and pain, and that is to be respected.

All living things are worthy of that consideration in Halsin's eyes.

And in this world we live in, where kindness is punished, where even the vague notion of caring about something is mocked, Halsin is important. He is the antidote to all those bullying TikToks; he is there to show that other living beings have needs too, and are worthy of respect. He is a giant middle finger to Andrew Tate and similar figures; he is there to say: you can love deeply, you can put others above yourself, and still be a real man.

Halsin is a counter to the increasing emotional numbing being pushed on people today. He's like a flashing neon sign that says no! caring about something, anything is what makes you who you are. Look who and what you can be if you don't close your heart off, even when you suffer.

And I just think that's a really beautiful thing, honestly. It resonates so much with me, and inspires me to find the meaning in things that are easy to write off as meaningless.

[justidiothings]

I can’t even count the number of times I’ve heard or read “If you want to be respected, respect yourself first. Cover up. Don’t let just anyone have access to you.” And every time I hear it or read it on a random post I want to scream.

this isn’t just advice. This is a subtle form of control. It's a deeply ingrained message society keeps telling women that our value lies in how modest, unavailable, or pure we appear. It’s the same tired logic that tells girls to sit properly while letting boys run wild, that asks women what they were wearing when they’re harassed, and that says, “Well, what did she expect?” when a woman embraces her sexuality publicly.

I’ve noticed in certain spaces where a woman’s body isn’t hers so much as it is a symbol of family honor, religious purity, or social acceptability. From aunties whispering about someone’s outfit to influencers preaching “modesty equals self-respect,” the message is clear, respectability is earned by how invisible or inaccessible you can make yourself.

And I scream literally scream when I see someone agrees with one of those polished little quotes: “Cover up so others will respect you.” And what do you know? Hundreds of likes. A sea of agreement. The worst part? So often, it’s other women agreeing, applauding, sharing like it’s gospel truth.

I cringe. Because it’s painful to watch women become gatekeepers of their own oppression.

I want to yell at them, that self-respect has nothing to do with how many layers of clothing you wear or how many people you’ve slept with. And it definitely has nothing to do with whether someone else chooses to respect you.

Why is it always women who are told to prove they’re worthy of basic decency? A man can have sex with dozens of women and he’s praised.

A woman does the same and she “has no self-respect.” No one stops to question what kind of backwards culture we’ve created, where a man’s freedom is normalized and a woman’s is dehumanized, demonized even.

men aren’t being held to any of these same standards. No one's telling them to “cover up,” to protect their “purity,” or to prove they have “self-respect.” In fact, most of the time, they’re not even expected to respect themselves.

Because let’s be honest, a lot of men don’t respect themselves. They don’t believe they have self-control, or maybe they’ve never been taught to develop it. So instead, they outsource it. They hand the burden over to the rest of us especially women and expect us to manage their urges, their insecurities, and their egos by shrinking ourselves, covering ourselves, and making sure they’re not “tempted.”

when you need to control the actions of other people to manage your own feelings and self-esteem, you are a loser. And frankly, that’s a lot of men. Angry losers who don't want to do the inner work, so they lash out at women for existing freely.

Dress in conservative? You’re labeled boring. A prude. A woman with no taste, no sexuality, no presence. You’re invisible, and somehow, still disrespected. Dress in revealing clothing? Now you’re a whore. A woman with no self-worth, just begging for attention. Once again disrespected.

The impossible tightrope women are expected to walk, where you're either too much or not enough. Pure or impure. Saint or slut. There’s no version of you that’s allowed to just be a person without being reduced to how sexually available or unavailable you appear to be.

At the root of all this is a toxic, transactional view of women’s bodies, a kind of objectification and commodification that strips women of agency and turns our sexuality into a bargaining chip.

To these men, a woman’s body isn’t hers, it’s something that should be given to a man. Saved. Protected like property. That’s why the concept of “virginity” still exist. That’s why “body count” is still talked about, as if a woman’s worth decreases with each consensual experience she has.

Because in their minds, the value of a woman is tied to how “untouched” she is. If she shows her body? She’s “spoiling” it. If she enjoys sex? She’s “giving it away for free.” There’s no room in their worldview for women to exist as full, sexual beings with autonomy and choice. To them, we’re either a prize to be earned or a possession that's been “used up.”

That same mindset is exactly why some sick people have the audacity to blame victims of rape for what they were wearing. Because in their warped logic, if clothing is seen as an invitation if it made someone feel aroused then the woman must have meant for it to happen. As if our choices exist only in relation to their desires. As if arousal justifies violence.

Toxic masculinity teaches them that their worth is tied to on their ability to attract women, have sex with them. The more women a man “gets,” the higher his rank among other men. But if a woman has freely chosen multiple partners? She’s “easy” and suddenly, that “achievement” doesn’t count anymore. Because it was her choice. Because it wasn’t about him.

So when I say I want to scream every time I hear someone say, “Cover up if you want to be respected,” know that it’s not just about the clothes. It’s about how women are policed, shamed, and punished for expressing desire, for wearing the “wrong” thing, for existing too loudly or too freely.

[mosaickiwi]

Everything and Anything

I got too goofy about this kink ask with aftercare. [REDACTED] is ~so~ poggers for basic human decency (I am completely serious). An eventful evening leads into soft and silly aftercare. 1k-ish words, GN reader.

cw// sexual content in nature (nothing explicit), non-specific kinks implied and mentioned, degradation and impact play/spanking specifically mentioned, allusions to neglectful aftercare

14 Days With You is an 18+ Yandere Visual Novel. MINORS DNI

~

You had some vague idea of how things would go. By now, you knew your dark-haired boyfriend never held back in his dedication to your comfort—but you hadn’t expected this. Who knew your casual comments about a few kinks would lead to treatment better than royalty?

Endless conversations of boundaries and what was to come had slotted into the previous week during your nightly pillow talks. Each more thorough than the last, as [REDACTED] always came prepared with research and more questions. They'd even brought a strangely long list of potential degrading pet names for you to decide on—some in languages you didn't speak. Eventually, he was satisfied to put an end to what you were sure being interrogated felt like. That is, if the interrogator saw fit to cuddle and kiss the criminal into a confession.

So the fateful night came, and all had gone well. You had the sore muscles and countless bite marks to prove it. It was what came after that made you feel akin to something worthy of heavenly worship. 

Once you were both dried off from a much needed—and breathtakingly intimate—bath, [REDACTED] began taking inventory of you. Gentle fingers glided over your naked form as he stood behind you, lingering at every mole, mark, and reddened imprint of teeth. He noticed all the small reactions of your body at certain placements of his careful touch, gaze focused on your visage in the mirror while you brushed your teeth. They couldn’t help but bestow a feather light kiss to each spot you barely tensed at to serve as silent apologies.

"Ren," you said once you'd spit your mouthful of toothpaste into the sink. "I told you I'm fine."

Blue eyes pointedly met yours in his reflection. "Really? Y'so sure after that punishment you wanted?" Their hand moved from your hip to lightly pat your bare ass, taking note of the whining gasp you let out. "'Wonder how you're gonna do that little front desk job tomorrow."

"It probably won't hurt by then," you insisted with a rather unsure shrug. As you set your toothbrush next to his untouched one, you looked back at him. "Not gonna brush your teeth?"

"Not quite yet. 'M relishing in the taste of you, Angel." They sensually licked their lips for dramatic effect.

Your nose wrinkled. "I love you, but that's so gross." Still, you raised up on your toes to kiss him, nasty as he was.

~

Dressed in your favorites among their clothes, you were splayed out on your stomach over the bed sheets—in hopes to save your admittedly sore ass come morning. You stared up at your overly doting hacker, who'd resigned himself to playing with your hair in silence. Your mind only wandered at his caress.

You couldn't imagine how you'd gotten so lucky to be their first and only. 

Hours had passed since that intense encounter, and he hadn't left your side except to get things you meekly asked for—it was impossible to ask too much, he'd reminded you. A blanket to warm up, a hot drink to soothe your tired throat, a gentle massage to relax you, and even gentler words of reassuring praise as you'd bathed together in steamy water and afterglow. Their soft, loving touch to bring you to quiet bliss once again in their embrace as you soaked in the bath stayed settled in your mind. It almost completely overshadowed the rough treatment they had you pleading on the verge of tears about earlier.

His actions were above and beyond the bare minimum that others were elated to get. There were myriads of horror stories about terrible partners that completely withdrew after sex, and even more so when performing certain emotionally and physically vulnerable activities on their supposed loved one. You knew he’d never treat you in such a hurtful way. Despite that security, just the thought of it burdened you in the days leading up. To be left to your own devices after the things he whispered in your ear and did to your body—no matter how desperately you welcomed it all—would devastate you. 

"You know you mean the world t'me," he suddenly said, an uneasy frown on his face that brought you back to his focus.

Those words again. Words you'd heard plenty in your relationship, usually accompanied by an embarrassed shrug to explain away some bizarre habit of theirs you'd discovered, or a passionate kiss to soothe both you and themselves. You'd lost count of how much your lover repeated the sentiment tonight. He still must've been worried that you needed soothing in spite of his endless affections. 

You hadn't realized you were holding onto a frown of your own. "I know," you spoke his name with resounding devotion and a soft smile, "You mean the universe to me."

Familiar pink blossomed in surprise on his cheeks, but he quickly caught on to your game. "Y'mean everything to me, Angel. ‘Love you more than anything."

"You mean—" His thumb pressed over your lips to silence you. It was completely stunning. They'd hardly ever stopped you from speaking before, even if it was to scold them.

"Whatever you're trying t'one up me with is already included in everything. So you’re not beating me here," he explained, smug as could be while he loomed ever closer. Ticklish kisses came littered along your cheeks and anywhere else he managed to reach, further encouraged by your laughs of protest.

You successfully wriggled out from their grasp after a few torturous moments. You felt flushed, clothes in disarray from their calculated attack. As you tugged up the sheets to hide under, you teasingly tossed a pillow at him. "Go get me some water, asshole."

He was happy to let the pillow hit him square in the face for your satisfaction. "Anything for you, my love."

[justinspoliticalcorner]

MeidasTouch:

Tonight, MeidasTouch had the exclusive YouTube livestream of one of the most consequential speeches in modern American history. Speaking directly to Californians, and to a nation teetering on the edge, Governor Gavin Newsom condemned Donald Trump’s illegal militarization of Los Angeles and the President’s broader assault on democracy. Newsom’s remarks were a call to action for every American who still believes in the rule of law, the Constitution, and basic human decency. In the days following Trump’s sweeping immigration raids, the forced deployment of thousands of California National Guard members, and the shocking arrival of over 700 active-duty Marines on American soil — all without state approval — Newsom made clear: this is a turning point. A moment of reckoning. We are proud to present the full transcript of this historic speech, in both English and Spanish, below. Watch the full address on our YouTube channel and read it in its entirety — and then share it with everyone you know. Democracy is under assault. But, as the Governor reminded us, “the most important office in a democracy is not President — it’s citizen.”

California Gov. Gavin Newsom (D) delivered an address that is worthy a real leader should be doing to address the Los Angeles protests caused by ICE raids, in contrast to the bloviating fascist in the White House's bloodthirsty bullying.

Video:

[chrysanthemumgames]

Related to the ask about being able to ask Demeter to apologize to Hades (or the Underworld group in general, really).

I didn't think of that before, as I don't know if my Dionysus would actually be the kind of person to outright ask Demeter to do so (though maybe he would, sometimes he gets very defensive about some stuff despite his usual meekness), but I sort of don't know if he'd allow Demeter to visit more if she doesn't apologize?

What I mean is that, for the specific upcoming-likely-visit he let his father decide cause his relationship with Demeter is too strained atm. But his general view on this is "we need time apart, and then I'll think on it, and maybe we'll have a relationship someday again". So basically, not barring it out but still very on the fence. But yeah, obviously the situation with his father is pretty exceptional, and he wouldn't just try to keep Demeter away in this context - he's too selfless for that. Now what I'm getting to is that atm, he still really doesn't want to interact much with his mother, and in a way, I always imagined it as Demeter having to do the right move now, to show my Dionysus that she can ACTUALLY change. And I always linked that change to her starting to accept he likes the people in the Underworld and starting to see them as actually worthy of respect. And while in order to maybe appreciate them she would need to get to know them, apologizing for such a thing is basic decency and standard respect after what she did, not necessarily linked to appreciating or even properly knowing them, at least at first.

So what I mean here is that I never imagined asking her to apologize because I see it as something she should do on her own if she wants a chance at a relationship with her son later on (all from the perspective of my specific playthrough, of course).

And, the actual question is - do you think there are any chances she'd do so by herself? Or at the very least prompt the MC to tell her what should she do to try and make up for stuff (cause if asked specifically, then my MC could indeed tell her to apologize). And I mean, during the visit that will occur next, or like, by writing to Hades afterwards or something, that works too. I'm asking mostly because in that ask you said when she'll visit this time, the situation will be too tense and basically you implied asking her to apologize could come only at a later visit (unless I misunderstood). But a later visit won't necessarily happen in my case if she doesn't apologize before, is what I mean. Unless she does something else that would truly warrant my Dionysus to be okay with her coming back so soon of course.

I'm fine with it either way, by the way! I'm not writing this to complain about the possible inability to ask her to apologize or anything! I'm genuinely wondering about future possibilities and the paths that may exist, if you have any base ideas already.

There's still a bit of fuzziness in this where I'm not sure exactly what scenes are going to come up when. There will be at least one more chance for Demeter to show up in the Underworld regardless of whether PC approves (because it will be a rather urgent situation for another person). I'm not going to spoil things too much, but I don't think people who are sort of quietly not okay with her will have no chance to reestablish connection, but in general the more specific the PC's requirements, the less likely they are to be met (because of course I can't write all those potential courses of action for her, etc, etc.)

So I guess my answer basically boils down to "wait and see, because I don't have the minutiae planned to that extent just yet." :)

[soggybottomboysvevo]

the severance/substance parallels are soooo important to me wrt understanding the innie/outie relationship. fundamentally, an innie and an outie share a body and core personality traits, but they are different consciousnesses. elizabeth and sue have different bodies and the same consciousness, but they're still battling for control over who gets to be. The Person. its you but not you. its your evil twin who bears the punishment for your transgressions. its the part of yourself you've decided isnt worthy of love or basic human decency. "you [undergo the severance procedure] when u hate yourself and you’re sick of yourself and you’re lonely because you hate yourself so u let literally nobody into your life. You destroy yourself because you HATE yourself."

(x)/ (x)

[alovesongtheywrote]

i NEED another nightmare academia part pleassseeeee *grabby hands*

♥ Summary: well... here it is! in this chapter of nightmare academia, things go south. [Prof!Spencer Reid x GN-Prof!Reader]

♥ Warnings: self doubt, angst, mentions of maeve. in other words, things were too happy and they're about to get sad

♥ A/N: plotman cometh

♥ Word Count: 2136

Series Masterlist

♥♥♥

Spencer didn’t sleep that night.  He’d left late, waiting for the red and blue lights of the police cruiser to leave before he let himself go home.  The train ride back was hazy at best.  He couldn’t focus on his surroundings, on the fuzzy announcements from the Metro intercom overhead, or the people around him.

The only thing on his mind was you.  The warmth of your smile, the feeling of your hand in his, the way you said his name- “It’s basic decency, Spencer.”  Maybe that was a pathetic thing to focus on, but it wasn’t like he had a choice.  His mind played the memory over and over again in perfect clarity.  He could still feel the buzz that had washed over him when you said his name for the first time- and he could still feel the agony he felt when he realized he’d made you cry.  

He had a lot of thoughts to think about you- and the more he explored them, the deeper he dove into the recesses of his mind, the more unsettled he became.  He hadn’t felt this way in a while.  The last time he did, the object of those feelings was brutally murdered in front of him- and he never got to say a proper goodbye.  His guilt consumed him almost as much as his affection for you.

So, yeah.  Lots to think about.  Sleep was a worthy sacrifice.

The following morning, he dragged himself to his office, limbs heavy with exhaustion and eyes sore from unshed tears.  He thought he might buy some time for himself.  He thought he might be able to steal a quick nap before his first class of the day.

He was wrong.

“Hey pretty Ricky, long time no see.”

Spencer flung his phone at Morgan on pure instinct.  Morgan caught it with no issue, raising an eyebrow as Spencer doubled over, painting.

“You didn’t tell me you could throw like that.  Is everything okay, Reid?”

“Yeah, no, it’s- it’s fine.  You just surprised me.”

“You don’t usually throw your phone when you’re surprised.  What’s up, kid?”

“Nothing!  It’s nothing.  I just didn’t get much sleep last night,” Spencer rubbed at his temples, “So, what are you doing here?  You aren’t looking to register for classes, are you?”

“No,” Morgan set Spencer’s phone down on the desk, “There’s a case near here, the team came in to investigate.  I decided to check in on you, see how you’re doing.”

“Well, I’m doing fine, thanks.  I appreciate you checking in.”

“Are you fine, though?  Really?”

“Morgan, I told you I’m-”

The door slammed open.  Spencer jumped again, bringing a hand to his chest to calm his racing heart.  It was you.  It was only you.

“Hey, Reid, I need you to look at this thing one of my kids wrote, because I can’t understand it, even with the English degree-” you stopped, suddenly realizing you were interrupting a conversation.

“Oh,” you tapped the door a few times, your wide eyes darting between Spencer and Morgan, “Hi.”

A sense of dread draped over Spencer like the world’s worst weighted blanket.  His heart was still beating a million miles a minute.  He tried to keep the smile off of his face, tried to keep his skin from warming a few degrees.  He could feel the physiological signs of affection and he denied them.  He refused, willing himself to feel contempt at the sight of your face.  He failed.

Morgan, on the other hand, felt no conflict.  The man was very clearly delighted.  A massive grin crossed his face as he held out a large hand for you to shake.

“You must be Dr. (L/N).  We spoke on the phone- but Spencer didn’t tell the team that you’re so gorgeous.”

“He wouldn't,” you grinned, clutching your papers to your chest as you reached to shake Morgan’s hand, “We aren’t really friends- we’re more like angry acquaintances.”  

The agent laughed, a warm and inviting sound that put any unease you had to rest.  Spencer could not say the same.  He bit down on his tongue until it stung.  He wasn’t sure if he was hurt that you didn’t see him as a friend, or if he was relieved.

“What did you want to show me, Dr. (L/N)?”

You paused for a fraction of a second at your formal title.  You hadn’t expected to hear it coming from Spencer.  Jumping back into motion, you passed the stack of paper to him.

“It’s circled in red, you can’t miss it.”

Indeed, the confounding sentence was, very much, circled in red- and it was very much indecipherable.  Spencer genuinely couldn’t tell what the fuck that sentence was supposed to mean.  For a moment, all the worries evaporated from his brain as he set out to solve the literary puzzle before him.

Meanwhile, you and Morgan continued your discussion- and with Spencer distracted, you were pretty much unsupervised.

“So, what’s Reid like as a professor?  Does he still go on those tangents?”

“From what I’ve heard, he’s excellent.  The tangents manage to keep his students involved with the material- however, there is that whole technophobe thing.”

“I heard you had a specific problem with that.”

“Oh, yeah.  I sent a typewriter to his class every day until he yelled at me.”

“I didn’t yell at you,” Spencer didn’t look up from the paper in front of him, “I pranked you back and you yelled at me.”

You shrugged, “Same thing.”

Morgan fucking beamed.  He’d been in the same room as you for two seconds and already, you were an absolute delight.  He had so much to tell Garcia when he got back to the rest of the team- but why simply tell Garcia about you when he could introduce you?

“Y’know, the team is meeting up for drinks tonight.  You can join us if you’d like- I know everyone else is desperate to meet the professor who’s been driving Reid up the wall.”

“Oh, a chance to embarrass my angry-acquaintance in front of his friends and former coworkers?  Sign me the fuck up!  Just give me a time and place and I’m there.”

Spencer looked up, having finished with the paper in front of him.  The smile on your face- the way you smiled at Morgan made him burn up inside.  He slammed the paper down in front of you harder than he intended to.

“They’re talking about criteria seventeen.”

“Seventeen?  How did they get there, they were just talking about criteria fourteen?”

“I don’t know, they’re your student.”

You raised an eyebrow, tilting your head in confusion.  You were adorable.  Spencer couldn’t allow himself to think you were adorable- he also couldn’t allow you to be upset with him.

“Email them about it.  Get in contact and let them know their analysis is confusing.”

“Aw, look at you.  You’re suggesting I send an email,” you reached over, giving his arm a squeeze, “I call that growth.”

Spencer was sure you could feel his heartbeat through his arm- and if you couldn’t, then you could definitely see the blush on his face.  For the second time in two days, he wanted to hurl himself out the window.

You let go of his arm.  You hadn’t held onto him long, but Spencer’s mind had pulled that moment into a million smaller moments.  He watched as you extended a hand to Morgan, a charming smile on your face, “It was nice to meet you in person!  Let me know when you’re planning to get those drinks.”

“Will do.  You have a good morning!”

“You too!” you called out as you slipped out the door and into the hallway, “I’ll see you both later!”

The room fell silent.  The air seemed to crackle with electricity, with a thousand static things that went unsaid.

“What was that?”

“What was what?” Spencer refused to look at his friend, instead pulling a random book from one of his shelves to distract himself.  He almost threw it across the room when he realized it was The Narrative of John Smith.

“That little arm grab.  What was that?  I don’t know if you know, Reid, but that’s not something enemies do.  Are you sure Dr. (L/N) hates your guts?”

“It doesn’t matter if they hate my guts.  I hate theirs.”

“Don’t bullshit me, man.  If you hate them so much, you wouldn’t help them with their work the way you did.”

Spencer was trapped.  Morgan had him dead to rights.  He paused, thumbing through the pages of the book in his hands.

“Don’t tell anyone.”

Morgan beamed once again- he was having an excellent morning, “I knew it.  You have a lil’ thing for Dr. (L/N).”

“I don’t have a thing.  I don’t have anything.  What I have is a complicated series of emotions that I’m currently sorting through, and I don’t need anyone sorting through my emotions with me.”

Morgan raised his hands in surrender, “Okay.  Whatever you say, pretty boy, as long as you show up to get drinks with the rest of us.”

Spencer just nodded.  Morgan stared at him for another second.  He was gone by the time Reid looked up from his book.

-

By the time you got back to your office, you were ready to tear your hair out.  You were stupid.  Big stupid.  Mega stupid.

For one thing, you should have recognized that your student was jumping from criteria fourteen to seventeen.  You weren’t sure why they did it, but you were familiar enough with the diagnostic criteria you’d assigned to know which criteria aligned with which descriptive words.

For another- why the fuck had you said yes to drinks with Spencer’s friends?  Yes, you wanted to go.  Morgan was absolutely lovely, and Penelope Garcia was a bundle of coolness topped with a flower-themed hairpin, but really, what were you going to talk about with a group of FBI agents?  What were you going to talk about with a group of Spencer’s friends?

And god, you should have asked Spencer if he wanted you there.  True, if he didn’t, it would cause emotional torment worthy of your best pranks, but you weren’t sure if you wanted to torment him anymore.

You knew what you felt when he looked at you- you were familiar with the buzzing in your stomach and the pounding of your heart.  You knew the physiological signs of affection and you couldn’t deny them.  You would try to outrun them for as long as you could, but fuck, you were bad at running.  Sooner or later, you knew you would find yourself falling for Spencer Reid.

You could see yourself doing it- god, it wouldn’t be difficult to do.  He was beautiful and smart, and when he wasn’t forcing his students to handwrite their notes, he could be so kind.  He was brilliant, and competent, and when you remembered the way he stood up for you the night before you could feel your body burn beneath your skin. 

And that SUCKED.  For one thing, he was so much smarter than you- so much better.  He would never see you as anything more than a peer.  Even if he did, he would just be another thing that happened at you.  You had done nothing to earn his respect, nothing to change the way he felt.  If he felt anything for you, it would be a mistake on his part.  You already counted everything you felt for him as a mistake.

He was once part of a system that stood for most of the things you hated.  No matter what he said, you were still pretty sure he had faith in it.  You were fucked.

Just as you were about to curl up in a tiny ball on your office chair and scream into your arms, your phone buzzed.  It was Morgan- he must have saved your number the first time you called him.  A time and place were listed side by side, along with a friendly, “Hope you can make it :D”

A tiny smile slipped across your lips, but it very quickly fell.  You found Spencer’s number in your phone.  You typed out six or seven different messages before you landed on one.

Y/N: are you okay with me getting drinks with your team?

You could see Spencer typing.  And typing.  And typing.

Spencer: it’s fine.  should be fun.

You weren’t sure if he actually meant that or if he was being a bitch.  Texting is hard- and god, you felt like a high schooler doing it.  With a last look at Morgan’s message, the time and place for drinks, you gathered your things and got ready to be a functioning adult for the next few hours.

Honestly?  You were pretty good at pretending.

♥ Tags: @icarusignite, @usuallyunlikelyfox, @maraudersforlife2005, @fictionalcomforts