#associations with them and are able to cling to the memory that way

[arolesbianism]

Thinking abt the second dream story featuring a third dream story I can't remember if I ever talked abt. I <3 body horror bonus points if its slow and agonizing

[zarnzarn]

"Penelope," Odysseus whispers, heartbroken. She cannot stop crying enough to see him, and it makes her cry harder, even as the familiar scent of him moves closer and is followed by his arms around her, holding her up as she falls to pieces.

"I couldn't- I couldn't find-" She gasps for air, desperately hoping no one is around. Grief comes slamming into her like a tidal wave, laying her low with unrelenting memories of the injustice of wanting her husband home the most of anyone in the war and being the only to not get her wish and fear for how her reign would end and all the other feelings she should have gotten over already. "I couldn't find you," she sobs out finally, the words shaking out of her as her shoulders heave.

"Easy, my love, breathe," Odysseus coaxes, picking her up like it was nothing, tilting her at an angle that must be straining his shoulders to let her cling to him tighter. Cry, like it's the first time she realised how her wait had outlasted their marriage, where cannot breathe in for how hard she weeps, lungs burning. "Peace. I'm here, my darling, see, would a shade be able to do this?"

A choked, teary laugh is forced out of her as he spins on his heel suddenly, stopping her sobs with the momentum, leaving her gasping for breath and sniffing, shaking like a beaten dog, out in the rain. Alone and pawing at the memories of a warm hearth, with a pack's responsibilities on her shoulders and nowhere to set it down.

"See, now, there you go, drifting away again," Odysseus chides, twirling them both around once more, fast enough to make her half-squeal. "Am I so boring to you, compared to the mamba's nest of statespeople you have toyed with these long years? Must I put on a silly costume and dance around as entertainment, my dearest, tell you jokes and riddles to keep your attention? You wound me if you say yes, for I will lose the little respect our son still has for me."

She laughs wetly again at his chatter, the tempest in her head fading enough for the sobs to go from wailing to crying.

"Penelope," Odysseus sings her name in that strange way that sounds oddly like an owl's call, that no one can replicate. The chains around his feet jangle, a familiar sound she has trained herself into associating with her husband. She blinks the tears from her eyes, calming a little at the sound so she can see him. He clicks his tongue and wipes her tears away by rubbing their cheeks together, making her burst into choked giggles.

They don't last long, and she returns back to gasping for air as she runs out of energy, trembling.

Odysseus sighs, bittersweet, as he gives up on trying to make her laugh. Penelope sniffs, clinging on tight when she's suddenly lowered into soft sheets. "I'm here," He whispers, stroking her hair, letting her dig her nails in. "Oh, my poor beautiful wife. I'm back now. I would not leave for anything."

"I couldn't find you," Penelope whispers, small and scared. "I was calling for you from the door and there was no answer. I couldn't hear the chains. And no one knew where you were."

"All those who knew were with me, which won't happen again. I was only out at the merchants to see the new cloth with Tele," Odysseus murmurs. "Darling-"

"I cannot let go of the fear," She confesses in a rush. Closes her eyes and rocks them back and forth, trying to bury her face into Odysseus' shoulder and disappear into him. "Don't know how to convince myself that you are not an illusion. How to stop missing you, even when you are right in front of me. That I will wake up and still have to do it all alone."

Odysseus pulls back and stares at her, devastated, tears in his eyes. He opens his mouth and shuts it, helplessly. "Sweetest of my heart," he says finally, and lowers himself down on top of her so she can feel the full weight of him, smell his sweat and the ointment he applies on his scars and the juices of the fruit he fed her that morning by hand.

(Telemachus had sighed the sigh of the long-suffering when he took his seat next to them that morning for breakfast. "Must you?"

"Must we what?" Penelope had teased, and then opened her mouth for another fruit from her husband's hand, who was hiding a laugh in her hair, perched on her lap, his chair knocked to the side and lying sadly on the floor.

Telemachus shook his head, mock-disappointed and sighed louder.

"Come," Odysseus had said, patting his own lap. "Here, Tele, I will feed you too. Come."

"I'm not a dog," Telemachus had complained, over Penelope's sudden protests about not agreeing to this- and then came over and jumped up into Odysseus' grasp anyway, making Penelope yell at the sudden weight and her two rascals cackle at her.)

"Odysseus," She whispers as she exhausts of her crying and interspersing sobs an hour later, letting it curl on her tongue. She had stopped saying it, when the looks around her transformed from sympathy to concern over her sanity, and it became a political decision to not say her husband's name until he returned.

"Penelope," He returns, tightening his arms around her until her ribs creak. She sometimes wishes he were a violent man, that war had changed him enough to be rough with her, so she would have bruises to carry around to remind her he was there with her. But if he was, would she love him still?

"Give me something," She begs. She feels incredibly small and stupid, shaking like a child, and it is the only the fact that her real husband wouldn't falter or recoil in the face of her weaknesses and breakdowns that keeps her talking. "Something to prove you're here, please, please, husband-"

"Peace, Penelope," Odysseus says, in a voice sterner than he's ever used with her; the one he uses in court, making her stomach swoop. He moves back when he feels her tense under her, and studies her expression with a sharp eye. She loves him more than anything, would gladly slit open her torso to give him her innards if he so much as implied a passing fancy to having them, but even that isn't enough to fend off the slight bloom of mortification when realisation flashes across his eyes.

He kisses her, harder than usual, and she tries to focus on it rather than her still-racing thoughts.

"You are no longer Queen of Ithaka," Odysseus says, low and final, and the horrifying shock of the sentence nearly makes her moan. "Not in this room. You have held the burden of the kingdom for fifteen long years, and now you will let me make you put it down."

"No," Penelope protests, between kisses. She is still coming down from the fear planted in her by all the strong women that buoyed her these years, who grimly predicted that her husband would snatch the throne back as soon as he returned, coupled with the guilty relief that she no longer had to be in charge, no matter that it was by force. "I love her. My Ithaka. Rough and beautiful."

Odysseus huffs, smiling against her skin. "She loves you too. Which is why you must listen to her beckoning for you to rest." He punctuates his sentence by pressing down on her stomach, entire body weight on his hands as he drags his palms up her abdomen, between her breasts, up to her shoulders. "Relax, Penny. The kingdom wants for nothing, food is overabundant, no one fights, no ruler gives us trouble. You do not have to hold everything together on your own anymore."

Penelope snorts. "Ithaka says so, does she?"

"Am I not Ithaka?" Odysseus says, voice twisting and changing until it sounds like a woman speaking. Penelope is hit sideways by lust, stomach flipping at the smirk sent her way. It gets wider at her expression, as he leans down and croons, "Penelope."

"Oh, gods," Penelope says, strangled, bracing herself on his shoulders.

"Give you something," Odysseus muses, in that same voice, that lights on fire the part of her that used to be obsessed with the stable master's daughter. "How about..."

He picks up her hand and kisses her wrist gently, tenderly, like it is the most delicate of pottery, the most precious of gems. He rubs a hand over her veins once lovingly, then fits his teeth around them, eyes flashing with heat as he glances over her.

Her heart skips a beat. She nods. He bites down with canines sharper than he'd left with and she screams.

"Oh," She gasps when it's done, looking at the bleeding wound lovingly marked around her pulsepoint. Her husband tips her chin up and she smiles finally, stretching up to meet his bloody kiss. "Oh, more. More, Ody."

"As my wife desires," He murmurs, possessiveness catching fire in his eyes as he turns to set his teeth to his neck- still not violent, but perhaps the slightest bit loosened from the leash.

Penelope moans, vision hazy as her head rolls, staring up at the ceiling. She takes a deep breath, then another, letting the panic recede in the face of a daydream of wandering around with a necklace of bruises every day, until they grow old.

He always knows how to handle her so well. She had begun to think she'd imagined it, how well the man she married had met her at every turn, every trick. Yet only a few months in his return and still he guides her expertly from all the bad things in life like a sheepdog, like an overanxious newlywed; some days making her so happy that the fifteen years past had never happened.

"You will look at these and remember no one else could leave them but me," Odysseus orders, the sneer of the rabid slaughterer in his gaze. It makes all the tension seep out of her, tears escaping in relief as she nods. "And I won't go out of earshot ever again, so you always can hear how you've chained your poor husband down like a mule, forever to trip over his own feet and smash into the floor."

"Chained you like a bird," Penelope corrects, her smug, thrilled smile returning at the reminder, reaching down to shorten the chain. "No more flying for you."

"None," He agrees.

Her smile wavers as the tail end of her grief comes sliding back. "Hold me?"

"Forever and ever and ever," He promises, wrapping his hands around her. She shakes in his hold. He kisses the side of her head, holding his wrist still scarred with her own teethmarks up to her lips in offering. Her eyes roll back as the familiar blood rolls over her tongue, calming the storm in her chest at last. He pulls his hand back and cards it through her hair, pulling out all the ornaments that mark her as Queen, staining them with blood. "I promise. Calm, Penelope."

"I'm calm," She sniffs wetly. "I wouldn't do it for anyone but you."

"Neither would I," Odysseus replies. "Would you like to have sex? I can please you with my mouth if you want."

Penelope snorts ungracefully at the formal way he still says it, like it's an offer to go fetch something from the kitchens. "No. Just hold me."

Odysseus murmurs something in response and starts humming, rocking then back and forth. Blood on both their mouths still.

"Actually-" Penelope says abruptly, and Odysseus bursts into laughter like she knew he would. She smiles at the sound, and closes her eyes to bathe in it, and carefully brings herself to take the first step to trusting that he will still be there when she opens them.

[jays-therapist]

So much of who Yukio is stems from his self-hatred.

He wants to be an exorcist because he hates how weak he is. A lot of the contempt he holds for his brother derives from a desire to be like Rin, and not like himself. The way he remembers his own childhood is distorted by his self-hatred, as he struggles to focus on memories where he isn't inadequate.

I think the reason he hates who he was as a child is because he’s associated all of his worst traits to "Pre-Exorcist Training" Yukio, where he felt truly helpless and unable to do anything about his fear. Becoming an exorcist kind of gave him a sense of power? By learning about what he’s afraid of and how to deal with it, he now has control. At least, I think that was the idea behind it. What he doesn’t understand (and what Shirou probably didn’t consider when he gave his baby a gun) is that he’s not really overcoming his fear of demons. He’s just compensating for it, and clinging tight to any source of control he can get. Deep down, the fear remains; he still feels helpless, with a whole bunch of terrible coping mechanisms as a bonus.

(I also think this is one of the reasons he has such violent reactions to losing control, specifically towards his own body, like when he stabbed his arm to prevent himself from panicking in the Kyoto Arc.)

And he gets worse, because as he reasses the goals he had when he was a child (partly due to Toudou’s influence), he can only focus on all the ways they are selfish. A seven year old becoming an exorcist because he wants to be stronger only reinforces Yukio’s self-hatred, because it’s a self-oriented goal. Rin wants to be an exorcist so no one has to die for him like Shirou did. Shiemi wants to be an exorcist so she can protect others the way they’ve protected her. Bon wants revenge for the Blue Night and how it affected his family, and on and on and on. Yukio is surrounded by people who have experienced incredible pain, but focus on those around them. More and more, Yukio is seeing himself as the outlier, whose selfishness only serves to build upon itself. As he says, “I’m so obsessed with myself I can’t see anyone else!”

And like, that’s why I think the line “I’m strong because I had you!” holds so much weight, for both Rin and Yukio. For Yukio, it’s a realization that he loves his brother more than he hates himself, you know? He didn’t just want to be strong so he could surpass his brother. He wanted to be strong for his brother, and was inspired by him. It was that love that pushed him forward, and it’s that love that allows him to heal, a little bit.

This is best shown in the flashback he has later in Chapter 130 when they’re getting ready to square up with Satan. Earlier, I said that Yukio’s memories are distorted by self-hatred. Here, in this scene, we see a memory free of that bias, where Yukio, once shaking in fear, takes Rin’s hand. Yukio is brave, and able to overcome his fears with support, it just took him awhile to realize this.

Therefore, even though so much of Yukio is built upon hatred, he’s slowly recognizing just how much he loves and has loved.

[immoralimmortals]

Akatsuki members as perfumes i own

I couldn't sleep last night because I am haunted by visions that are so very specific to me and my needs. These are all indie company perfumes currently available for purchase or seasonally available. I am a creature of my senses, and therefore I am not bound only with the curse of associating music with characters, but also scents.

Pain: The People You Love Become Ghosts Inside You from Death & Floral

Description: Heavenly musk, lingering funeral flowers, cold scent of vanilla in an empty corridor, handprints on a foggy window

This is a scent known by its fans to invoke deep emotion. It has funeral lillies to a T. The title is the main reason for my choice, though I can imagine him smelling like this. It's the definition of cold and formal, like the corpses he drags to do his bidding.

🥀

Konan: Mnemophilia from Nui Cobalt Designs

Description: Stately gardenia, antique sandalwood, Florentine iris, pearl musk, jasmine absolute, neroli, and liquidambar.

This is a scent which contains notes I have not experienced anywhere else. It is like...you took the idea of a mirror and gave it a smell? It is pristine, classy, and oh so very melancholy. It makes me thoughtful, it reminds me of glass or crystal. Another "cold" scent, similar to Pain's but more of a sister than an imitation of it. Less about death and more about memory, as the name entails.

I also considered Billet Doux from Possets, which is meant to evoke a perfume-stained love letter. Also very clean and classy, but actually brings the impression of paper and ink. Also noticeably a lot sweeter than Mnemophilia! Perhaps more for her when she was young and in love.

📷

Obito: The Emperor of Ice Cream from The Strange South

Description: Limp flowers on a windowsill, strawberry ice cream, tobacco leaves, tonka, and a dribble of young blood.

Saccharine with something to hide. The blood note on its own (i was able to try it) is actually very fruity, like strawberry. I think the visualization of dripping blood and strawberry syrup being the same is wonderful. The tobacco comes through as the scent fades, becoming more mature over time.

👑

Zetsu: A Roll in the Hay from Alkemia

Description: dried hay, fresh green grass, early summer wildflower honey, vanilla grass, vanilla leaf, and wild poppy.

This one really just smells authentically like true to life hay. I can't wear it all the time but it's so, so distinct when I do. It's a scent for when I want to imagine I'm all alone, deep in a field of tall, dried grass. The only thing is that it is probably far too innocent for him. He would not *want* to smell like this.

But I do. Because it's great.

...Okay he'd actually smell like Esprit de la Terre from Alkemia which smells like pine trees, but I don't like pine trees! I'm going to make him suffer and smell like vanilla.

🌾

Hidan: Damned Nightfall from Death & Floral

This scent is fucking purple lmao. The violets are a little powdery, like the visage of something pure, and the rest is DARK. It clings to my skin with those deep resins first and foremost like incense being burned. Despite all the food notes, not one lick of sweetness, frankly not a bit of edibility. This is a badass vibe like a jaguar hunting in the dark. It bites if I put too much on.

Description: the deepest and darkest amber blended with violets, black labdanum, vanilla absolute, espresso absolute, fresh cocoa beans, and honey

There are scents that exist that mean to invoke the smell of blood, but none of them are real enough to suit him. However, the metallic nature of Scythe from Possets is very impressive and real with a suitable name for the Jashinist.

🌒

Kakuzu: JFK and Jackie from Possets

First and foremost, this scent is old school. The leather reminds me of what Kakuzu's skin may be like; I read a fic way back describing his earth grudge causing it to have that kind of texture. Perhaps this is what he'd smell like if you somehow convinced him to give you a hug. You know. Somehow.

Description: A snap of the finest leather, a bit of oakmoss, combined with tabac blonde essence, a whiff of tea, and the warmth of silk. 

There are scents that smell like money, but I do not actually like the scent of money. I'm sorry Kakuzu.

☕

Deidara: Morton Salt Girl from Death & Floral

I know salt doesn't smell. I know it doesn't. But this is what salt smells like. If you ever get opportunity to try this, do it. It's so unique. I think this would be a wonderful scent to imagine for his clay; it is so distinctly earthy, and the salty aspect reminds me of smelling playdoh as a kid (and putting it into my mouth).

Description: yellow musk, salt, and rain on concrete.

🧂

Sasori: Forbidden Library from Nui Cobalt

This is what his puppets smell like. It's what they smell like! I do not make the rules! It is deep, it is softly masculine, it is beautifully woody. This is the phantom that haunts the abandoned castle library, who crawls out of the ancient tome in your fingers.

Description: The vanillic scent of aging paper infused with ceremonial incense, venerable bookshelves of black oak and sweet himalayan cedarwood, a hint of mossy stone, and an undercurrent of faded suede.

Bonus points: this is one of the few perfumes I reach for on the weekly. It's so, so pleasant.

📜

Kisame: Two Cups of Tea, a Monsoon, Me and You from Death & Floral

Description: rain on cracked soil, wet creosote, a swelling monsoon, desert cedar, black tea. 

I am one of the only people that seem to take this as floral. The storm is there, it is humid and sticky and moist like rain in the summer, but I distinctly get flowers behind it all. I think it suits him. (And it is one of few aquatic scents that don't smell like laundry to me nor like cut grass).

☔

Itachi: Ghostfire from Alkemia

Has the distinct impression of paleness against a night sky, like a star or a will-o-wisp. It's a strange but haunting combo of melting candle wax and melon. There is a sugared and floral version of this scent called Foxfire, which perhaps encapsulates him before everything went downhill.

Description: A luminous attraction of ethereal white ambers. Hauntingly beautiful.

Another Alkemia scent is Burning Roses, which is exactly what it says on the tin but with the unfortunate addition of labdanum, which this iteration of hates my skin chemistry with a passion. Oh, what could have been...

🎇

[spiral-counsel]

For the Lawyer:

🔒 🪢 🫳 🧨 ⛓️ 🪞 📿 💭 📜 🕯️ 🌪️ 🧩 ✉️ 🕸️ 🌀 🍃 ⚓ 🧭

For Purple:

🎐 🦇 🩸 🐾 🔦 🕯️ 🧩 🌀 ⚓

<< What does any of that mean?- >>

OOOOOO Questions yayyy!!! :D

<< What- >>

[ 🧩 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat’s a truth about themselves they refuse to admit ?

Mmmmm aaaa not sure

<< If it's something one would not admit why would they admit it in a game?- like what even- >>

Don't be so boring :(

You don't admit that but you get bored and have nothing to do! You should talk to people more :D

<< ... And you don't admit you actually wish delta was closer to you- >>

.... ... . . . .... Heh that was mean :(

[ 🌀 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they have a recurring dream or nightmare ?

The players are dreams so guess that counts :(

<< Most of my dreams are from my player so i end up somehow "feeling nostalgic" for a place named home that i am not from- >>

[ ⚓ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat does “home” mean to them ?

Is when I'm with my family or friends ^^ those are my home

<< No clue- nowhere- >>

[ 🔒 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat is a secret they’ve sworn never to tell ?

<< Once again- is a secret- like that's the definition of a secret- >>

:

If you aren't going to answer can i answer for you plsss

<< Purple I don't trust what you would tell- >>

Too late! You are boriiiinnn

In early ideas you almsot almost were a woman!

<< ... I thought you would tell something worse- i mean that is more of a secret of the player- >>

[ 🪢 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhen was the last time they broke a promise ?

<< Never?- Well- from the time i have been here i have never promised anything anyway- and if i did I don't remember- >>

[ 🦇 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat is a fear they never talk about ?

I don't fear anything I'm brave >:3

<< Darkness- quite literally doesn't blink for that reason- >>

[ 🫳 ]ㅤ.ㅤwho do they feel they owe, but never paid back ?

<< I owe everyone- quite literally the "lore" reason why i went away of horizon was because i owed money- >>

<< If we are talking more in general i would say Yellow- like is the one i owe i care for anyway and I won't ever be able to pay i think- >>

[ 🧨 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat’s the quickest way to set them off, even if they hide it well ?

<< Nothing- is usually the other way around of how i react to things- >>

Most player interaction : especially from the scary one- lista

[ 🎐 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they have a sound, like a song or voice, that they associate with peace ?

I don't like sounds :((((

Are too weird and everywhere

Audition is not sooo nice

[ ⛓️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat does guilt feel like to them ?

<< Why did i get the most questions if Purple was the one who wanted to play?- >>

<< Guilt feels like if someone is crushing you and you can't breathe and that is probably deserved you die that way because is your fault- >>

[ 🩸 ]ㅤ.ㅤis there something or someone that, if lost, would break them ?

Dad and sis and mom and Ryanne :'(

I can't think if something happened to them what would happen

[ 🪞 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhen have they looked at their reflection and hated what they saw ?

<< Always- Never- I don't know- better not to look at reflections- >>

[ 📿 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat superstition or ritual do they cling to ?

<< I didn't believe in any of that before- now even less- >>

Is not feeling that you owe everyone something a superstition : ?

[ 🐾 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo animals like them instinctively ?

I think yessss :D

Met a little cat was so big i almost couldn't carry over but they were so fluffy and seemed to like me :3

[ 💭 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they believe they’re worthy of being loved ?

<< Nobody believes they are worthy of being loved- why would i be the exception?- >>

[ 📜 ]ㅤ.ㅤis there a story they love sharing with others ?

<< I have no stories- supposedly could say a case of a jury or something but it didn't ever actually happen so is no worth to tell- >>

[ 🕯️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat memory do they replay when they’re alone ?

<< I'm never alone now so I don't replay memories alone- >>

:

Liar!

<< I'm not a liar- I can't lie- >>

Wellllll you are evading the question! You do replay memories! I see you!

<< But it is really worth answering if the answer is obvious?- >>

Yesss it is!!! :(

Mmmmmmmm

I like to replay playing with my sis ^^ also the time i learnt my dad was ... My dad! That time i was so scared but now is happy!

[ 🌪️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat’s the one choice they regret (not) making ?

<< I do and don't regret anything at the same time- i do regret not trying to know more the people in that center if wanting something specific- >>

[ ✉️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat kind of letter would they write but never send ?

<< Taxes- >>

But but why can't you take something in fun??? Dont be sooooo serious-

<< Uhm- Fine- probably a regret letter or something- I don't know?- as in regretting for someone?- >>

[ 🕸️ ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they have a favourite lie they like to hear ?

<< What does that mean?- Not seriously- what does this mean- if something is a lie it means that I don't know it's a lie- and if i knew it was a lie I don't think i would like to hear it?- >>

[ 🍃 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they feel like they belong ?

<< I don't- nobody does anyway- >>

[ 🔦 ]ㅤ.ㅤwho do they search for ?

New people to meet and talk with :

I want to know how is everyone likee people are so fun to talk with and so far seem to be goood friends :3

[ 🧭 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhere would they go if they could disappear tomorrow ?

<< I came here so i could dissapear- i have nowhere else to go- i think if i had to escape it would... I don't think i could go anywhere even if i wanted- or the place would be 6 feet underground at minimum- >>

[starlingstalk]

I was just thinking about how the well in the spectral lands reminds me of the well in Haibane Renmei and then I started thinking about all the parallels between the spectral lands and the world in which the Haibane wait for their day of flight???

The subsection of ninjago fans that have also watched haibane renmei is prob not that big but I‘m gonna ramble on about it anyways! Spoilers for dragons rising and haibane renmei ofc!

The anime takes place in a small town called Glie that is surrounded by an uncrossable wall. Glie and the haibane‘s world is inbetween life and death, the walls being a physical manifestation of what each haibane has to overcome in order to move on to the afterlife. The haibane are people often young that have died in tragic ways (most often than not by suicide) and are born into the haibanes house Olde Home without memory. There they live together with the other haibane, that guide them until they take flight (aka die).

The spectral land‘s similarities are (without taking morro into account) first and foremost that it is also a place that exists between life and death; be it as a bridge and opportunity for salvation and passing on peacefully or a curse.

That curse of being unable to move on, is called being „sin-bound“ in Haibane Renmei (oh btw the entire thing is basically a whole metaphors for christian afterlife, sin and salvation some ppl even think that the crow is meant to be a metaphor for Jesus himself). If the Haibane for whatever reason cannot take flight, be it if the Haibane cannot remember the dream in their cocoon aka do not know what to face or in Reki‘s case simply do not believe they deserve to move on, it will stay there for long before eventually fading away.

Maybe not quite fitting to the spectral lands in itself, but certainly to Morro, who very similarly to Reki has dedicated his existence to guiding those who end up in the spectral lands to „take flight“. There is definitely a huge difference in the concequenses of staying in the spectral lands vs Glie forever (which is not possible in Glie). That‘s why Morro is able to commit himself entirely to his role, whereas Reki is unable to keep it up as a front. She knows there is no forever as a Haibane, a purpose is empty if her true reason for being in Glie, existing as a Haibane is predetermined.

Another parallel: the well

Rakka ends up at the bottom of the well. She sits there, next to her a dead crow. Her dream was about falling, alongside her a crow. Rakka is heavily associated with birds and even calls herself ‚the bird‘. She talks to the crow, buries it, waits, looking up somber up at the snow beginning to fall and is saved shortly after. The basis of it is that Rakka, after burying the bird, that is a representation of her, forgives herself, she isn‘t scared of dying. The crows have accompanied Rakka the entire time and after getting out she is determined ‚to be the bird that will save reki‘. Rakka clings to the idea of saving Reki while naively failing to understand how much Reki truly suffers.

The well from the spectral land as a beacon of life serves as almost mocking in a realm where no one but the living can benefit from them. (Gonna edit this section later I forgot my point)

I think my main point is not just about Glie but rather about how similar Morro is to Reki. Especially the last episode revealing Reki‘s dream, her true name, just uttering „safe me“ in the face of death after she could not bring herself to do so her entire life. For Reki as a Haibane, the mere expression of wanting to be saved, frees her, whereas for Morro, that last, reaching out for Wu after handing over the realm crystal may not get him saved but demonstrates change just as much as it does with Reki.

Trying to climb over the wall and getting her friend struck and almost doomed. Her frustration at being sin-bound for seemingly no reason, being cursed from the moment she became a Haibane, that led to her running away with that one guy, is so similar to Morro’s desperation and willingness to prove he could be the green ninja.

i will never forget her given name being revealed. Like that destroyed me. That last episode is so utterly devastating.

[that-ineffable-devil]

I don't know what it is about Neil Gaiman's stories and characters that bring up so many visceral emotions and realizations but Dead Boy Detectives has gripped me in it's skeletal claws.

I'll admit I haven't read the comics--one more thing on my neverending tbr pile--so I came into this show without any preconceptions or foreknowledge of the characters or their histories. And I didn't do any research on the show beforehand a) to avoid spoilers and b) it's Neil Fucking Gaiman what am I gonna do NOT watch!?

Basically, I had no idea what to expect from it. Except that it'd be queer (praise be).

And I gotta tell you, Charles is getting to me. In ways and at depths I never could have expected. And, fuck, it's making me confront some things I didn't realize were affecting me...and some that maybe I did...

Like the anger. Gods, the deep-rooted anger at the injustice and cruelty of the world and the hands you're dealt. The fury of feeling helpless and alone and terrified during the worst experiences of your life. And the self-loathing you feel as you bury that rage for fear of becoming the very monsters that tormented you--unable to express it in even a healthy manner because you can only associate anger with violence. So you bottle it and bury it and hope against hope you can keep it down, but you fear the day you run out of burial ground.

Like the compulsion to act like everything's fine. To mask any negative emotions with a smile and a kind word or a laugh. To never be the reason someone else is in pain. To try so hard to undo the pain done by others. To be the person you needed most who was never there. Maybe you're trying to convince yourself that you're not a monster. Living in constant fear that you really are that monster, and all your goodness and light is a smokescreen to trick truly good people into allowing you to walk amongst them--and that one very bad day they'll all see the truth and your worst fears will be confirmed in their eyes.

Like the almost desperate need to cling to anything or anyone good that comes into your life, because it has happened so rarely and so fleetingly. The fear of taking certain risks with those things and people because any change can be the one that results in losing them. Yet constantly taking risks with yourself and your life (death?), likely boiling down to "If I go first, I don't have to lose them." Because, deep down, you think they could never miss you as much as you'd miss them.

And even specific moments...

Like using the word "rough" to describe abuse, because how else do you reference decades...or in his case, likely at least a decade...of trauma and abuse without upsetting someone? Without letting them know it's still affecting you?

Like equal parts fear and fury welling inside you as you watch something truly horrific happen. Memories wrapping your senses so tightly as that man brutalized his family for no reason. Being both unable to stop it and unable to look away. Desperate to do something about it but completely helpless. Again.

And reliving his trauma, forced to by someone else? Feeling that pain and misery all over again. The heartbreak as friends choose to hurt you for reasons you don't understand. The anguish as your brain tries to protect itself while a parent who's supposed to love you makes you wonder why you exist at all. The terror of being hunted. Not knowing why. Not knowing what you've done to deserve it. Wondering if somehow you do.

And confessing his fear that he's a "bad guy." Wondering if you're really the villain in your story. Fearing that the reason people treated you so cruelly is because they saw the monster within, and thought they could keep it contained and afraid. Fearing that you won't be able to.

And not every day is like this. Not every day has you feeling like you're at the edge of a precipice. Some days are quite good actually, especially if you have even one good person around. But any day could turn out like this.

But you keep on with the smiles and the positive attitude because the monsters can't win. Your monster can't win. And frankly, you don't know how else to deal with it, because no one ever taught you how to. Or maybe you never had the chance to learn. All you know is that it's all you know.

[stellarcobweb]

tbh . thinkin.

so. energywork related stuff basically

tl;dr my energy system is weird (/neu)

two of the systems of magic that i'm naturally talented at have been clairsentience (tbh i kinda joke abt being a dark empath but fully do not consider myself an empath at all. i'm just REALLY good at picking up on the energies of a place or person, esp in an inuitive way. i don't personally feel it though. the primary way i speak to entities, be they deity or spirit, is via impressions of emotion), and energywork (more on that in a sec)

HOWEVER. i do also consider myself an energy vampire, in a sense. primarily in the "i feel like my energy system is a bucket, and there is a tiny little hole in the bottom of that bucket constantly draining me bit by bit, so i need to intake more outside energy so that i can stop that gap and fill myself back up" kinda way. and tbf, while i have fed directly off of people before (with consent), i tend to fix my issue by just. filter feeding??? for lack of better term??? and taking the energy of food that i eat??? not to mention its a lot easier for me to upkeep my energetic body now that i'm not in an abusive relationship w an asshole abusing me in spiritual ways

either way, i was thinking about like. so, my energy has been read for me a few times before, and i remember the main things to stick out were like. its very sticky! it clings, and the like. tbh thats part of why i named my blog the way i did lol, i used to compare myself to spiders (and butterflies, tbf. and now moths LOL), not to mention i was directly told that my energy was a lot like that of a spiders. which tbh in combo with my tug towards the concept of thread of fate, weaving fate, the red string of fate, etc. kinda funny ngl. also one of the reasons why i learned how to crochet and shuttle/tatting lace AND kumihimo

but aside from that, i've always been like. inherently connected to the concept of stars, or the night sky. primordial void. that kinda thing. i like calling it primordial soup tbh. which does lend a voidy quality to the energy i have, alongside general dark stuff.

it also makes cleansing really easy tho! mainly in the. i'm not replacing dark with light, i'm just getting rid of the stuff not meant to be there, or that is kicking the balance of the place out of whack. or like. hrm.

when i'm cleansing my energy system, or someone elses, for example, i'm not clearing them of negative or positive energy, or destroying whatever lean or sway they have. i'm getting rid of any parasites, hangers-on, things that are harmful to said system. it gets complicated in situations w people sharing the body, but even then, i'm not weakening any ties there. which ig is an example of me being able to do very fine-tuned delicate energywork???? shit gets complicated and if you touch the wrong thing even slightly you can throw the whole system out of whack. also tbh i tend to view energy systems as connections of strings, one for each relationship you have to someone else, distinct memories that have left an impact, your energy systems linking up together, etc... very fascinating stuff tbh

tbh i also personally think its funny that like. i ascribe to the belief that i was reincarnated from a deity (not one local to this universe), who i tend to define as a Cosmic Creatrix of sorts. despite that, i associate myself currently mostly with destruction vs creation, though i can do either/or. destruction is just easier and more natural. honestly in terms of like explaining how i feel abt the whole thing: stares at Rukkhadevata and Nahida. it feels a lot like that situation. plus the other beliefs i have in regards to how exactly i was created, why i/she died, specific things i remember from that past life (not much)

idk its fun to think of these things

anyways all that to say that when i was still wiccan, i would only ever do new moon sabbats bc they felt better to me. more like home

[foosybit]

fun fact: the main pairing i used to like before mysn was kiibouma (danganronpa), and they still plague my mind at least once a month. Like, for the full first year of me liking mysn, i kept accidentally calling them kiibouma in my head sometimes (cuz the association was that thing-that-makes-me-happy = kiibouma) and they keep constantly appearing in my dreams in a very lamentful way where i miss them so much …. and sometimes i am like "wow what a cute dynamic" and my instinct is to mysn-ify it but sumtimes kiibouma just fits better. I even get a few kiibouma drawing ideas sometimes, but I already have countless mysn drawing ideas to get to and so little free time amidst all my homework that mysn will always take priority.

It's a little funny cuz I don't experience this with any of my past fixations. i dont get lamentful eddsworld dreams or flashbangs of la squadra (jjba) at random, and that's probably because back then, my fixations would last maybe a few months and then I'd move on. but my kiibouma fixation was the first one that actively lasted over a year. i thought about them daily for about 2 years so now it's like they've permanently altered my brain. It's sorta comforting cuz it means that even when I like mysn less one day, they'll still pop up here and there in my head all the time, considering that the amnt of time i've been into mysn will soon exceed the amnt of time i was into kiibouma.

I do wonder what'll happen when I do move on from mysn. will my brain slowly forget kiibouma or will i have a growing roster of characters/pairings that are important to me as long as the fixiation lasts multiple years. Maybe there is a scary future where I become a well-adjusted adult who does not fixate on pairings anymore (frightening) and all I have left are longings and memories of past pairings that keep begging for my attention again in my dreams. Regardless, I used to wish that certain fixations would last my entire life and even the thought of losing my fixation would make me feel desperate to cling on longer, but now it feels way better to be able to have fixations that last long enough to define periods of my life, so nothing can really take away what they meant to me even when I do move on, so I don't have to be so anxious about change anymore. sure, it'll always suck to leave a community that's meant so much to me no matter how small the community is, but at least it's not the end of the world anymore. Don't worry btw, i don't think i'll move on from mysn any time soon LOL i'm not getting into anything that i like enough to replace enstars in my head rn. I just started lamenting about kiibouma again last night and thought it could be a fun foosy lore to share :]

[randomingoftherandomness]

we were lovers in a good light - Ning Yuanzhou/Yu Shisan

A/N: this one is specifically for the target audience of one (1) @rose-tinted-vision

Enjoy!

((yes i was typing this the whole time we were chatting))

--

An undeniable truth that Ning Yuanzhou has not been able to lock back into the chest of ignorance, is how he has become so aware of how Yu Shisan smells.

It's never some overpowering perfume of florals and sweetness like those you'd find on the powdered skins of ladies of pleasure. Nor is it that familiar iron tang of armour and deep leather that men like them carry on them that is inextricably tangled in the sharp hit of sweat.

No, it's more something you catch in the air when your thoughts are lost in the slipstreams of mundane things.

It is how when you register it as him, the realisation and association sink into your memories and consciousness, dug so deep that you can no longer differentiate where the moment you first knew started and when you learnt how you keep searching for him in rooms where he isn't in.

Shisan smells like the early morning hours they steal in bed. Right before the first bleary blue-grey dawn light creeps through the skies and after Yuanzhou has spent the night burying himself in Shisan. He had once asked him what he uses in his ablutions, only to have the man laugh, eyes twinkling in the dark as he arches up for a patient kiss.

He's the headiness of Petrichor after a summer rain, the way he can cock his head across the courtyard, a small smile on his lips. And Yuanzhou is deftly making an excuse to carve out a couple of hours to let Shisan anchor him through his storms.

Right now, in the summer heat that clings deep in their bones, when it's too hot for clothes much less two bodies to be so wrapped up in each other, Shisan's hair is tangled with his own on Yuanzhou's pillow, smelling like the simple soap he had worked through his long lustrous locks in the bath.

Brushing his lips to his sleeping brow, Yuanzhou takes a deep breath.

[imrowanartist]

For the OC ship game!

Btw: obsessed with Tamryn and Davrin.

Let's see... how about 4, 11, and/or 20. ✨️

Yessss, thank you, Nat! (And you know I’m obsessed with Lennox too haha)

4. Have they ever been forced apart due to circumstance? How did they handle the distance?

The obvious answer here is of course the Prison of Regret. For Tamryn there was so much going on that missing Davrin was just one part of a whirlwind of emotions. For Davrin it was much harder. In those weeks that pass by he clings to the promise they made each other to go adventuring together after everything. To build a future. He tries to stay strong, to still be that steady support to what remains of the team, but alone in his room? He’s terrified he’ll never see Tamryn again…

Other than that, I would probably call them almost unhealthily co-dependent oops

11. Have they said ‘I love you’? If so, when was the first time?

Yes, they have, after they sleep together for the first time ehehe (which is way before the scene in game, because these two idiots definitely wouldn’t have been able to keep their hands off each other that long lol). Up until that point they kind of pretended it was mostly casual. Just two people attracted to each other, having a good time flirting and teasing. But then Davrin lets the words slip afterwards, when they’re laying in bed together and Tamryn says he loves him too <3

20. Is there a sentimental object they associate with their partner? What is it? Was it a gift?

Okay you literally just gave me this idea yourself XD, but Davrin has carved a little wooden halla for Tamryn. It both a reminder of their first kiss and the Dalish heritage they share between them.

Tamryn has simply gifted Davrin his sparkling personality and some premature grey hairs✨

And perhaps a terrible drawing he once made when Davrin challenged him to draw a nug from memory, though he is not aware that Davrin has kept that haha

Find the questionnaire here!

[fireangel]

Ramblings:

You know I wasn't here during that era, nor am I familiar with the other issues that were beheld during that time, but I have to give Jenny props for one thing at least; seeing through Tara's BS

I'm wondering if the fact she had her own mind and way of doing things, and the fact that it was reported there was a Vegas trip where Jenny "had a reason to be jealous" that Tara was the interfering factor to their eventual break up........twice.

So Jenny wasn't considered a useful addition to the Tara gravy train and because Christopher made the mistake of valuing the length of their friendship over his own feelings......even Scott approved of Jenny

I've never seen him post Tara 👀.....unless it's from a very long time ago.....

We are all (yes even I having only been here for two years) familiar with the way she loves to cling to him and show how she is associated to him by clinging onto him in photos

I had mentioned a long time ago how even from afar this dynamic seemed intensely unhealthy/toxic and how much she also loves to troll the fandom for attention just as much as Smellba🐟 and Trashbin🗑️ seem to, even in the same manner, birds of a feather I guess 🤷‍♀️, or maybe just the last of the rotten fruit 🍎🍏

I do often wonder if this is due to her own failed attempts at establishing an acting career of her own after studying theatre, having Jenna take some "artsy" shots for her "photography page"

(Have you ever even studied the Art? For the love of GOD download a pamphlet on the Rules of Composition or something🙏)

Only ever managing to be someone else's PA (did Christopher not trust her enough to be his own, oh right he chose Josh 😘) and instead has just clung for life to the side of his gravy train for the scraps falling off the side

Scott may have to deal with being in Christophers shadow somewhat because of his successes but at least he's out there trying to work at establishing his OWN space.

(Throwback memory to the Scott Evans thread in the Private Group on LSA, we were all so happy for you with Barbie Hun, I wish I could have shown you, we did try shouting you out on the main thread 🙏)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

I've mentioned before that I have my own set of Gibbs life rules, what follows are three that I think could apply here:

"Trust is maintained not earned"

People change and grow, sometimes they strengthen ties, and sometimes they drift and break apart for a reason.

You need to learn to recognise when it's time to let go of the things and people that no longer serve you or allow you the space to grow.

"You're friends are a reflection of who you are, choose wisely"

This one has been a difficult lesson for me personally. It took me far longer than it should have to realise some people in my life didn't value me the same way I valued them. Once I distanced myself I was able to make my own peace and stop lighting myself on fire to keep them fed.

"Always leave a space between yourself and others, they will find something to fill it with and show you who they really are"

Enough said 🔮

🤍🪽✨

[knyinfinity]

Hello I'm new here so I was wondering, what're your top 3 favorite things about Amari, Mui, and the two of them together! (One day I'll be able to send asks from the relevant sideblog lol)

Hi anon! This is such a nice question thank you so much 🥹💜🥰 it absolutely made my morning 💖(no pressure about the side blog that's why I have anon on lol)

Amari:

She has her softer side. Shes protective towards those she thinks might need it (or need help) but she definitely has a softer/vulnerable side she reserves for her very few trusted loved ones (Muichiro and Hikaru are the first few that immediately come to mind)

She's fiercely dedicated. Whether it be to the mission or to the people she's around, whatever takes priority in her mind at that particular time. It can be one of her best traits but also a big flaw depending on the scenario and it's really interesting to see it play out 🤭

I love her color scheme. The small color in her hair, her body scarring tbh, I think @risingscorchingsuns did an amazing job and it's so pretty and surreal to see her in artwork still 🥹💜🩶

Muichiro:

He's observant and analytical but quick too. He might not be quick to pick up on the emotions themselves, but he'll definitely notice the physical tics associated with them (slight lip twitch, eyebrows drawing together, breathing changes etc)

He's truthful and blunt. He may not always have the most sympathetic or kind way of going about it, but he definitely tells it how it is and sometimes that's just what someone needs to hear. Sometimes sugar coating things doesn't do anyone any good.

At his core, he cares about others. Even when he lost his memory, lost everything at such a young age, he still became a swordsman to help save others from demons. Hes a caring person, he just doesn't always know how to show it.

AmaMui: (now we get to the good stuff 🥰)

They both deal with anxiety to a degree but they cope differently and it's so cute 🥹. Muichiro is very clingy (I think the fandom established lol) so in a place like a crowded market, he would definitely be clinging to her and because she's so protective, she'd definitely be holding his hand or arm. Basically stuck together. Meanwhile because she's more private with her emotions, Muichiro would be helping her deal with her anxiety in private with verbal reassurances (still cuddles and hand holding and whatnot but she definitely feels better with hearing it from him verbally).

She can't keep her hands still, it's a big tic of hers. She usually makes her fingertips bleed if she doesn't have something to keep herself occupied, so guess who's hair she braids on a fairly regular basis? Guess who grows his hair out specifically for this purpose 🥹💙🩶

They're expressive in their own ways for sure. Small gestures and gifts here and there. 'I love you' is three squeezes while they're holding hands, or maybe it's a small cloud charm to add to Muis sword guard because she thought of him while she was patrolling. They just have their own language with each other 🥹

Basically, they love each other. AmaMui means everything to me 🫂 they definitely fall asleep under the stars during the summertime when they stargaze 😭. Ask away any time anon and again, thank you so much for asking 🥰💜 I hope you have a great day 💖

[rainstormcolors]

32, 42, 44, and 47 for Mokuba, please!

Hello! Thank you for the ask! I’ll try to answer your second one later on, perhaps tomorrow.

32. Something guaranteed to make them smile/laugh

This is a bit tricky to answer. I think Mokuba puts on a strong front, similar to his brother and yet also a different form, but both of them put on fronts. Yet Mokuba is friendlier and warmer and genuinely more social and flexible. He seems to enjoy being (and I wasn’t sure how else to put this) a smug little shit towards the people he feels have earned it – like busting the duelist who was trying to forcefully take more cards than earned at Battle City and sic’ing his brother on the guy or of course interrogating Diva in DSoD. I think he was enjoying himself.

42. 3 comfort items

We know it’s canon that Mokuba loves chocolate parfait. I’ve had at least one person tell me because of a story I wrote where Mokuba favors the beverage, they associate affogatos with Mokuba now so that seems like a good choice here as well. I feel like I want to say french fries as the last one… something “common” but tasty, and it’s not health food but it’s tasty, and kind of “childish” from a certain point of view but really many adults love french fries.

44. Their happiest memory

Mokuba’s had a lot of hardships. He clings to the photograph he placed within the twin lockets and I imagine he feels it’s a precious memory, although I think in ways his cherishing of that photo has eclipsed the actual reality and memory of when that photograph was taken. Of course Mokuba is still genuinely smiling in that photograph as well so I don’t mean to paint it in black-and-white terms. I think Mokuba was happy in that photograph, whereas Seto may have been putting on a strong front.

I think Mokuba was probably elated, even if exhausted, on the helicopter ride home from Duelist Kingdom. He and Seto were reunited, Seto wanted to save him, Seto listened to him, they were going home together, and I feel Mokuba might’ve been able to be friendly with the others within that helicopter during the ride and maybe that was also good for him. I think of how inside Alcatraz’s tower, Mokuba tells Seto that Yugi and the others kind of treated him like a friend at Duelist Kingdom. I think of how Mokuba must have felt that way during the ride home.

47. Their dream job

This is a somewhat tricky and sticky question. Kaiba Corporation has enmeshed both Seto and Mokuba, and I feel both of them would have severe difficulty letting it go. I feel Seto and Mokuba also communicate their bond through Kaiba Corporation – Seto struggles to know how to bond in other avenues and him trusting Mokuba with power in Kaiba Corporation is a complex and complicated thing. Both of them may fear Kaiba Corporation is their tie to each other given their struggles elsewhere. So at this point in his life, I don’t know if Mokuba could name another dream job. (Certainly Seto couldn’t.) I do think Mokuba may experiment with other things down the line with time.

Thank you again and I hope you have a nice night.

[beyondthetemples-ooc]

I really want to analyze some of the RP Character Bleed-over I have with my characters, so here's that analysis! Definitely doing a deep dive for Dove, gonna at least brush over Srentha and Leyla and Kary too, but I doubt I'll have the energy for Team Transition.

Dove's alone got Way Long, the HECK.

Dove

Emotional bleed: Dove and I handle our emotions in VASTLY different ways, though sometimes the pure response to certain things have overlap, like our reaction to the thought of war. Azarath has a lot of emotional overlap too; there's a reason Dove is Azarathean and that reason is that I wanted to write about it! I have fondness for the place, and writing about Dove (and Srentha and Raven and Alerina and Magena and Leyla) only deepened that.

Dove gets a lot more carried away by her fear than I do. Unless there's a Phobia Trigger involved. Even then Dove falls apart a little more than I let myself, she needs someone to cling to or she's just an absolute total mess emotionally, but the fear involved is pretty much the same for us. Come to think of it, especially comparing her when she's younger to myself when I was 14-18, we both have a lot of shame and embarrassment around it, too...

As for happiness, Dove's is usually a much more even-keel contentedness, and while that's my most blissful state, more often if I experience joy, it's a sharp spike of delight. Dove has capacity for that, but she's more likely to feel a gentler joy. Especially because she has to restrain hers and I'm trying to get more in touch and experience mine more. We're going completely opposite directions with that.

(Though we both do experience a deep satisfying joy when we're with our loved ones!)

Anger is interesting, because my anger is a very long, slow, cold burn. It's the focused and icy kind of rage. While mine is something you really have to work to earn, and Dove's is similarly a very rare thing, when you REALLY manage to make Dove angry, she gets a lot more fiery than I do. (Loud voice, disgusted snapping, dramatic gestures, etc.) We can both be motivated to take extreme measures by rage, but Dove is more likely to react out of emotion, while my reactions remain focused on practicality or accomplishing something with it. Dove's anger also burns out a lot faster than mine.

And then there's peace. I was going to say Dove gets a lot more of it than I do, but then I remembered I actually wrote her experiencing DDD, and there's not a moment of peace (that lasts more than a paragraph) in that entire story. Whoops.

Well, her childhood was certainly more peaceful, but in teenagerdom and beyond, we both had to Work to earn it.

We both find peace in solitude and meditation and being in natural areas. I find forests more peaceful than she does; that's a bleed for Kary actually, but Dove has Memories of Struggle associated with forests, and while she CAN relax once she's in a better place, if she's in a negative mindset the memories of struggle will creep up on her and make it a lot less peaceful. This is especially true after she's held captive as a prisoner of war in Something Special, and especially for That Specific Forest. It takes a long, long time for her to be able to be there peacefully again.

Perception bleed: How Dove experiences both empathy and her emotionally-heightened energies are VASTLY informed by my own experiences! The sensations of the energies coming alive especially. (I've been doing energy work for more than half my life, like 17 years at this point! I write her energies the way mine feel, though she feels them more viscerally than I do and I have a lot more "phantom shifts" and "astral shifts" associated with it. Mine are more nonphysical and thus Dove's have more bodily/tactile sensations.)

Both of our Ideal Worlds are peaceful, but Dove has a lot more wistfulness about Earth never being that way than I do. I used to be a lot more pacifistic as a child, and at my core I still am, but I'm also too much of an activist to let pacifism stop

Come to think of it, Dove is too, at least after DDD and TFJ, and she realizes she has to DO something about the bad things in the world. For her, becoming a hero is sort of penance for the murders in DDD. For me, activism is just about doing what's right because it's right and I want to help people.

I'm also a lot more determined and harder to shake than she is when faced with resistance. Dove learns not to hesitate, but she doesn't exactly feel the same Fulfillment I get from standing my ground.

I think that's an Emancipatory Bleed though: we both feel liberated by peace, and the most ourselves when we're calm and collected.

Other emancipatory bleed probably comes from overcoming our struggles as teenagers, and "freeing" our sense of self from the fear that we'll become what we don't want to be.

Other procedural bleed: I don't think there's a lot of this. Ironically, I'm way better at hiding my emotions than Dove is, generally speaking. Dove's body language is pretty expressive, even if it's reserved. I guess we have that in common, at least; unless I'm at a concert or doing choreography, my body motions and gestures are pretty reserved. I sometimes creep people out with how still I can stand. Dove also doesn't like to hold eye-contact much, especially as a teen-- sure, she's nervous, but the reason she Avoids Eye-Contact with Most People is because it can accidentally activate her telepathy! I have no such nerves or telepathy.

I'm already halfway to burning out so I'll stop with Dove there, but mostly the bleed into Dove is with Azarath, our loved ones, and the energies.

--

Kary

Since I mentioned her before! There's actually not a lot of bleed at all into Kary; she's so different from me, usually polar opposite, that I have a hard time figuring out her reactions.

We both have the same calm, happy, peaceful emotional reaction to being in forests, we both love animals dearly, and Kary has my very strong sense of self and ethics. It doesn't align with my ethics much, but that sense of Fairness being important and feeling greatly betrayed when treated unfairly probably bled over from my own childhood.

Kary lies to herself a lot more than I do, though. Convincing herself something doesn't bother her, convincing herself she's not hurting (physically or emotionally), not admitting her feelings about someone else to herself unless they're Anger for a long time, etc.

Kary also has my trauma of being ostracized and bullied as a child, but while mine made me gentle and standoffish and deeply reserved, it made Kary sharp and ferocious. I defended myself by not caring; Kary defends herself by caring so much she stops it before it can happen.

--

Srentha

He's fun! And because he's so fun and optimistic and charming, you can tell there's not a whoooole lot of bleed, perception-wise. There's that connection to Azarath again, but Srentha's connection is much more with its primal mystical forces than its people/philosophies. (Though he still adheres to those religiously!)

Srentha's love for his magic was definitely a LITTLE bit bleed-y, but his passion and dedication to it are very different from my passive casual approach. It's an important part of both our lives, though. It's definitely his main "emancipatory" angle; he feels the most himself and free and fulfilled when he's working magic, especially inventively or creatively, discovering something new. I'm just happy to do my old favorites.

Srentha's SUPER physically expressive; his eyes and mouth and head angle and arm placement and angle of leaning all speak volumes, and loudly. He's also super vocal and talkative; while I can ramble if you hit my hyperfixation chords just right (I mean, this certainly counts as a ramble, right?), Srentha is a lot easier to get on a tangent and keep talking.

He's way more emotional, too. And he's way more positive than me. (I have to work for it. He's basically positive out of personality and habit.) Most of his emotions are Happy or Peaceful, but if he's afraid or depressed, you'll Know it. Very different from me.

I do think I bled some of my love of study into him, even if it's on different subjects entirely (though I do enjoy studying magic or occult history/etc, it's not with the whole-hearted dedication Srentha ALWAYS throws into magical studies.) Srentha's curiosity is insatiable, sometimes to the point of annoying people. I can be curious given the right subject, but he's ALWAYS curious about EVERYTHING.

We also have the very same "career" goal, but that's a private affair and I'm not even sure how to talk about that. tl;dr RETIREMENT.

He has an ultimate goal to retire so he can do his magic, though. I mostly want to travel, write, and spend time with my friends and chosen family. We do both want to publish something someday, but Srentha wants to publish something about being the last pure-blooded Azarathean ever, sort of a "maybe their legacy can continue on Earth" sort of thing, and I just want to publish fiction.

--

Leyla

I'm not sure what there is to bleed over into her, honestly. Connection to Azarath though neither of us have been there, maybe, and she also loves her magic. But Leyla's another one who's totally different from me. She's generally optimistic and while she seems very reserved on the surface, especially at first meeting, she opens up quickly and she can be every expressive when she has a chance/reason to express it.

She does have emet*phobia too, but she's both Much Harder to Trigger than me and Much Faster to Recover.

She's very studious! I forgot to mention that with Srentha actually; both he and Leyla love learning, which I do too. Leyla's is more any random facts; Srentha's is more magic, though he can get lost in a Wikipedia rabbit hole too given the chance; and I usually lean towards science or history or linguistics.

I have a much stronger sense of self and purpose than Leyla does. She doesn't doubt herself, but her identity is kinda more shifty, and she's never really sure what her Purpose is. Her mom is a hero and her dad has his magic, but her magic and powers aren't very strong, and while she does participate in heroing OCCASIONALLY, if it's not too dangerous, she can't really make her life on it.

She does love animals too, especially cats! But she's a lot less tolerant of the gross or otherwise unpleasant parts of pet ownership.

Oh, she's genderqueer! That's something that might've been bleed.

And she's very loyal, and she thrives when she feels the most at peace. (Though she does seek happiness moreso than peacefulness!)

Oh! Leyla's also very artistic. I used to be a lot more artsy, now I mostly just focus my creativity on writing, but Leyla looooves hands-on crafts and fashion.

That's about all my brain is providing and I'm tired so I'm running out of words, but I think that's a pretty good overview.

[xprojectrpg]

Moment of Awesome - Jonothan Starsmore/Chamber: After Madin and Marius interrupt Jono's solo training session, he's able to implement his newly realized telepathy and invites the pair to stay, long as they can stay alive.

Jono's life had to keep getting weirder. The telepathy was one thing, but experiencing telepathy making it more difficult to hold back the nuclear bomb inside his chest...that was a more pressing issue.

And it wasn't exactly like this was a common mutation. Not like he could stroll into the community center and find someone else with this particular powerset. So he trained like he did most things. Alone.

He sat crisscrossed on the floor of the danger room, an inferno of red, fiery energy all around him as he tried to think through what Quentin had told him about mutations. How he had to accept it. Easier said than done when an inferno blazed around you.

At least it didn't hurt anymore. That was something to cling to.

Madin stared into the room through the window in the door and said, quietly, to the man next to them "Sorry bruh. I didn't know the room was busy. I just kinda want to throw stuff in and watch it burn."

Marius himself was observing the room's occupant with interest. Another semi-familiar face, he noted, but fortunately not one he'd had much previous association with. No bad memories to get in the way, which meant this was the perfect opportunity to create new ones.

"Why don't we ask?" the X-Man replied. He pressed the intercom button to the Danger Room.

"Oi, care for some company in there?"

Jono hadn’t brought his lightwriter into the danger room, it had felt like a bad idea at the time. But now, not bringing it felt like a worse idea. Of course this would happen to him. He turned to look towards the door, unsure if his eyes were even visible through the fire that seeped out of his face. He couldn’t even grimace.

He steeled himself for failure and then thought very very hard in the direction of the door. ”I don’t think that’s safe for you.”

"Hey, telepathy! I didn't know you can do that," Madin said, choking down their inherent 'stay out of my brain' response. "Yeah, I can't come in but Marius reckons he can."

"Correct," Marius said with considerable aplomb for a man responding to what was by far his least favourite mode of communication, "I am a veritable sponge for offensive mutations such as your own. This was, in fact, the pretext for the training session upon which Madin and I were about to embark."

”It’s new.” Jono replied to Madin, just as uncomfortable with the mutation as they were. ”I’m not trying to be offensive. Just trying to get used to it.”

"Ah, no worries. That is, after all, the point of this place. Helped me adjust to my particular issues in times long past. Not so obvious these days, but . . ." Marius raised a hand to the window and peeled back his glove to display the tooth-ringed orifice in the centre of his palm long enough for the younger man to get a good look. It was impulsively done; as a rule Marius found it easier to hold a conversation when the opposite party wasn't wondering whether a handshake was going to draw blood. In this case, however, he felt compelled to make an exception. Jono and Madin were visible mutants, and Marius hadn't always been able to pass with only a set of gloves.

Madin grunted at the sight of his hands. Huh. Bet he chomped his way through a lot of gloves. "He's - I think. It was. um. a lot of words. But he's right and was going to help me work on some powers stuff without, like, just melting everything." They grinned. "Which, there's nothing wrong with setting everything on fire. I did a lot of that when I was younger, but like, it's not always the best option, you know?"

”As long as you’re sure you won’t die. Come in.” Jono felt like he was probably going to regret that decision. But the older man seemed awfully sure about this.