#bad polyamorous rep

[flock-of-cassowaries]

On the one hand, not the polyamory rep we want to see. Especially during pride month. Boo, hiss.

On the other hand, though.

[a-fucking-tornado]

I love them so much

[highfantasy-soul]

The Wheel of Time on Prime was one of the most inspired high fantasy tv shows I've ever seen.

The unflinching diversity both in front of and behind the camera was really unparalleled, especially in the epic fantasy genre, and queer rep that's just naturally there? How much better can it get?

Powerful women who are all vastly different from one another. A Black man who's gentle and thoughtful. Polyamorous relationships shown with complexity, not just as a sexy throwaway. Aboriginal women who have incredible ambition to make the world a better place. Gender non-conforming people of all stripes simply allowed to BE. Gingers in the desert. Truly, diversity for days that's not 'ooh look at us being diverse', they're just people being people having big roles and small, good people and bad, complex and faceted.

It didn't follow the books beat by beat and due to said diversity, a loud portion of people railed against it and tried to tear it down - but it still shone brightly as a beacon of great storytelling on its own terms.

It doesn't deserve to be cancelled.

Especially in this political climate in the US (and rising right-wing extremists around the world), we NEED stories like this. We NEED to see more than just straight white characters being blandly badass.

If you haven't given the show a try, I highly recommend it. And please consider doing what you can to support efforts to get it renewed or at least picked up by another streamer.

Just like The Acolyte, stories that focus on complex diverse characters get the axe despite how well received they are - the loud minority of bigots are bowed to and we miss out on stories that are actually representative of all people.

Save WoT - please please please for the love of the Light, save WoT

[sharkboywrites]

It would be great if we, collectively as a community, stopped throwing other lgbt people under the bus to talk about our own issues. It’s really not that necessary.

Like to would be great if we talked about transfem problems without randomly throwing in “yeah because transmascs have it so easy!”

It would be great if we could talk about the issues that come with being a certain sexuality without complaining about lesbians, or bisexuals, or gay men, or polyamorous people and how we think everything is about them (newsflash: its not and they have their own issues because being any type of queer is hard)

It would be great if we could let other lgbt people have representation and be happy for them, instead of turning it into complaining about how others don’t have as much representation. You know you can talk about wlw shows getting cancelled without making mlms feel bad for getting another season of heartstopper right? It’s not their fault and it’s good that they’re getting rep.

We can talk about our issues without making other queer people out to be our enemy, because they’re not

[p1ercemyh34rt]

No I will never shut up about the glorious rep in Dr stone, especially queer rep

I know going “I love how they don’t make a big deal of it and it’s so natural” then going and making a big deal about it doesn’t make sense but THIS IS EXACTLY THE KIND OF STUFF I HOPED FOR FOR YEARS?? HELLO?? It’s written INTO their characters like it’s amazing

Senku, Stanley, Xeno, Ryusui, Francois , and Gen are the most like obvious.

Senku is clearly not heterosexual. I’m sorry no way a heterosexual man shows that much disgust when a girl confesses to him. I’m not saying he’s gay even if I HC him as such but at the very least he’s on the aromantic or asexual spectrum. I personally think if he wasn’t aroace he would be gay. Ik it’s probably a coping mechanism but it’s also funny to watch Senku flirt with guys whenever he’s terrified and or they’re abt to kill him

Stanley and Xenos relationship makes me want to drop to my knees and wail. So so beautiful. Xenos obviously a bad person but I love how they show his soft side for Stanley the way he looks at him when he’s a statue when he gives him little fake cigarettes it’s so elegant. Drst writes characters who are considered bad people to have soft sides like Xeno and also make the protagonists people who aren’t really saints at all, making them feel more human. Stanley is clearly in love with Xeno which is why he gets so damn peeved when he gets kidnapped and there’s no hetero explanation for the scene where Stanley gets revived again. And I love how they made Stanley the most masculine man who literally served in the military gay and wear makeup. Literally. Hes not afraid to wear lipstick like YES I ADORE IT. Again he SERVED IN THE MILITARY he has like a 10 pack and is masculine as hell and he’s still such a well written homosexual character who’s comfortable in his sexuality and gender. Epitome of masculinity fr fr.

Francois is enby, using they/them pronouns. I love how Ryusui says gender sex race nothing matters when it comes to sheer talent, which is why the writers don’t tell much too about them. They’re just pure talent and live to serve and even though they’re a butler they’re still not robotic and stuff, same with Senku- he’s not that into romance but he’s still definitely not nonchalant at all.

Ryusui , the greediest man in the world. He desires everyONE and everyTHING. My pansexual probably polyamorous KING. He don’t care abt ur gender or whatever he wants YOU!!

Gen Asagiri, this one.. he’s definitely queer... im not saying it just because he’s the most feminine out of all the men (though I LOVE how again they made a very feminine male character and made him so well written) , but because of the clear admiration he has towards Senku. You could say it’s not romantic that’s fine - QPR sengen still peak. In my opinion he’s either gay or bisexual. He barely also shows interest in women, when he does it’s clearly for keeping up his facade. Again, he’s genuinely mesmerized by Senku and what he does. I love sengen but if we’re talking canon, they’re definitely one sided. The way I see it, no way Gen doesn’t feel anything for Senku. Also cmon.. just look at the guy.. listen to his voice… cmon. Cmon. Cmon. Cmo-

Again I’m OBSESSED with the way their sexualities are written into their characters and personalities, and how it’s shown so well.. if that makes sense.. love this show so much please if you haven’t seen Dr Stone watch it if you want a show with glorious characters, story, and rep for neurodivergent people (autism specifically with Senku and Sai) and queer people.

[arcane-side-character-appreciate]

Headcanons | Lest x Reader (SFW)

AN: SFW post, Don't like don't interact 🫶 not proof read

Kitten Biscuits!

Lest makes little kitten biscuits (kneading) whenever shes comfortable. How lovely 💕

Sometimes you'll be laying together all snuggled up and you'll feel her gently push and pull the fabric of your shirt. She also does this before laying down sometimes.

The obvious: Purring

I know these seem obvious, but she doesn't just purr around anyone. That's bad rep. And she didn't purr around you at first either

The first time she purred around you was after a looong day, she was barely even awake, doing little biscuits in the bed as you got ready to sleep. You didn't want to point it out because you were sure she'd stop, but even as you both laid down she continued, aaaall the way until she was out cold.

After that you both didn't say anything, it just slowly became a norm that was quietly appreciated by you.

Lest is toootslly polyamorous

Yeah we all know Lest is trans but I also think shes Poly! You two talked about it a year or so into the relationship, when she realized you were serious about this.

Nothing has ever come of it yet but it brings you joy when she comes home talking about some cutie she saw

Maybe you two can gossip about the hottest people in the room together ✨

Gossip girl!!

Now she didn't tell you this but... She's totally a gossip girl. You know everything and anything about all her clients, but you never heard it from her.

It's gotten to the point now that it's a daily part of your routine. A nice cup of tea, a pile of blankets and pillows, and the hottest gossip on who's pilty husband is cheating.

Nesting!

She nests HARD CORE. We're talking at LEAST four!! Blankets on every plush surface. At least 10 pillows piled on every lounge area!!

And she has has HAS to have them all be a specific texture or its straight to the trash. If she can't bury herself in blankets and pillows she isn't happy.

Worst of all is when they have to be washed and they no longer have their comforting smell of you and her together. Speaking of...

Lest and her sensitive senses

Lest has a strong nose and for you that meant changing body soap, shampoo, conditioner, deodorant, detergent, and any smell goods like perfume and cologne at least five times before it was all nice enough for her

You really didn't mind, even if she felt bad and said you didn't have to. What was the point of keeping a scent around the house that made her nose scrunch up when you walked by. That's no good at all!

Besides they aren't bad smells, vanilla, peaches, an ocean breeze, smells that you think of and know they're not overwhelming, know they aren't super artificial like blazing dragon sword... Whatever that means.

Can you tell I've thought a lot about this

Couple Past times

You both work a lot, but on the rare occasion you both have time off and don't feel like crashing for ten days you have a few specific activities you enjoy together.

Walking! You both love going for walks, either through the under city or piltover, doesn't matter as long as you're both stretching your legs and having a good time. You'll even walk by the ocean if the waves are calm enough.

Dancing❤️ it's free and you have music right at home so clear the floor and grab yourself a pretty little lady because you two are spinning and laughing all night! And when you inevitably get tired you two can slow dance in the little light coming through the window.

She may not admit it but slow dancing is her favorite.

Lest looves massages

More specifically she loves the ones you give her. Here she is working all day to make her clients feel better and she comes home to what? An aching back! She's pretty sure that's homophobic

But not to fear because you are to the rescue! Either you're genuinely better at massaging then she is or you kind of know what to do either way she eats it up

Just knowing you care for her enough to try and soothe her aching muscles is enough to relax her, and of course she'll return the favor. Just... Maybe after a quick massage and cat nap with you.

Can't believe i haven't touched on her tail

She doesn't like it being touched idk what to say i don't make the rules. Rubbing her back? Perfectly fine, encouraged even, but the second your hand accidentally slips too far down shes already making that growling cats do

That doesn't mean she can't make you touch it. Yeah you can't grab or pet it but sometimes when she walks by it'll brush against your shins. When you're cuddling it'll curl around her and by proxy you.

Just like the purring you never mention it because you know the moment you do it'll stop, and that's fine! You don't have to mention it, you simply acknowledge it with the little skip your heart does and continue on loving her wholey

Fancy ladies need fancy clothes!

You two play dress up whenever you go out. It takes you both a collective of four hours to get dolled up together and you both go the whole nine yards!

You match colors, accessories, jackets and shoes- you match the Color Of Your Jewelry That's how hard you two go. Lest LOVES it, she already knows shes stunning enough to pull off anything but with you by her side looking the way you do she knows you both are the best dressed couple in the entirety of both the Under City AND piltover!

Jayce and Mel have nothing on you two! Oor was is Jayce and Viktor? Viktor and Mel?? You're sure you'll hear about them all the next gossip session when Lest is done visiting her dear friend Mel Medarda ;3c

[scriptlgbt]

Sorry if this is a silly question, but is it a problem to write bisexual characters being in polyam relationships?

I have a group of characters in my story and two of them start dating, and then one of them reunites with her childhood friend/first crush. I wanted to subvert the "Girl has to chose between hot guy and childhood friend" thing and have them end up in a bi4bi4bi polyam relationship instead.

But I just saw a post talking about how it's a bad if bisexual characters are dating/having sex with multiple people because it reinforces the stereotype that bisexuals are greedy.

Is that even a thing? I know that there's a stereotype that bisexuals are cheaters or promiscuous but I don't think I've ever seen a show/movie with a polyam relationship, let alone a polyam relationship with a bisexual character(s).

As a bi polyamorous person, I think the idea that polyamory is some kind of stereotype, or bisexuality is some kind of stereotype, inherently is someone pigeonholing those identities in a harmful way. It sounds like whoever made that post thinks that polyamory implies greed, when it doesn't. It's just a relationship format. It works for some people and for others it doesn't.

There are so many real life people that will probably feel represented by this kind of work. There also already is some representation with mspec (bi/pan/otherwise multiple-gender-attracted people) polyamory out there and they write it pretty well. Iron Widow by Xiran Jay Zhao is one great example of this I think. Really Cute People by Markus Harwood-Jones is another example of a queer triad of everyone being mspec.

Basically, I wouldn't worry about it. Some people who have misunderstandings about polyamory or bisexuality may feel weird about it, but I think that stems from their own ignorance. Neither of those things make someone greedy or entitled. Polyamory is not being careless with other people's hearts, it's not being entitled, etc. (Though there are people who call themselves polyamorous who haven't done much inner work, who may be like that.) If you're really concerned, you can always add some monogamous bi rep in there in passing, but I don't think it's necessary in order to make the main bi4bi4bi triad good representation.

mod nat

[sunnylovesgirlythings]

So you liked the arcane lesbians? 👀

Well league has plenty more where that came from!

May I introduce to you…

Lesbians (sun and moon edition)

Jayvik if they were BOTH Jayce levels of stupid. And also pirate cowboys.

The really REALLY down bad chameleon girlkisser

“No riot. The evil bow possessing the fused bodies of a gay couple is not in-fact good gay rep”

The polyamorous little mermaid

Big buff monster hunter who’s sad his boyfriend left him

And the “only canonically queer in a skin line AU” (comes in trans and gay flavours!)

[torturedfolkloredepartment]

An old au and such.

(So before I start this I need everyone to understand the only reason i haven’t spoken about or posted about this is because i also came up with this with someone else. Someone who isn’t in my life anymore, but I genuinely really love this au and fic ideas and I need everyone to understand this is mine and someone else’s work to so credit them as well. Anyways let’s begin )

Welcome to The Deli AU!

So the main character is Daisy

basically Daisy is born to two teenage parents Joseph Libegott and David Webster (David is Trans FtM so he had Daisy before he transitioned). Daisy grew up above a Deil (it was originally Joe Grandparents Deil till they gave it to him, plus he’s Jewish and Daisy also jewish in this as well).

Daisy full name is Margot “Daisy” Elizabeth Liebgott.

Daisy in this also has a brother Named Babe. Babe real name is Edward Heffron

But everyone just calls him babe, he moved in with Daisy and her parents when he and Daisy were both 13. Due to his parents both being really neglectful and kind of a*useive.

Also in this Daisy is Dating Billy( im a daisyBilly stan😭) but Billy is so devoted to her (Joe doesn’t like him much because he reminds joe to much of himself plus he doesn’t want Daisy to get hurt)

Now Babe also has a boyfriend well Two technically he’s polyamorous all three of them are.he’s dating Eugene Roe (or gene for short) and Graham (yes Billy brother).

Now daisy like Taylor was born in 1989 when joe and David were 17-18 years old.

Daisy grew up and became a singer (like Taylor big like her Taylor) Daisy did take dance for awhile and every new years David would make Daisy and babe make dream borads to show how they wanted there new years to go.

Babe and Daisy have been friends since 1st grade when Daisy changed school cause of bullying.

Though the bullying didn’t stop when a boy named Sobel targeted both Daisy and babe from 1st grade to freshman year of high school.

Daisy has a cat and that cat is also employee of the month every month at the Deil.

Daisy has diabetes

David also has heart problems as well which makes him a little weak at times.

Also another thing this story is done through a documentary type thing so older daisy is the one telling the story and the reason that is. Is because well Joe is a serial killer he doesn’t necessarily have feelings for anyone else besides his family (daisy ,David and babe).

And Billy and Gene are the Same (that’s another Reason Joe doesn’t like Billy , plus Billy sloppy and almost gets caught every time) also gene is like the jigsaw killer.

But nobody finds out joes a killer till he died and Daisy does a documentary after his death.

Which billy, gene and Graham aren’t big fans of cause they don’t wanna get caught. (And they don’t, plus Billy, joe and Gene only kill bad people kinda like Dexter)

Each chapter would be like Daisy telling the story of her life so it would be from different times as she gets older.

Daisy also has a daughter named ruby who she wrote the song “never grow up” (or more dedicate it to her after Ruby was born)

Now David does die a bit young in his 40’s or 50’s after daisy grow up do to his heart problems. He is around for most of Daisy career, specially during her re recording era.

But died before/during the writing of The Tourted potes department .

Daivd and Daisy were super close and she got depressed after David death specially because Joe had stopped taking her calls and just disappeared whenever david died.

It was hard for joe specially because David was the love of his life.

He did show back up a month or two later on daisy doorstep cause he relized he couldn’t leave his daughter behind.

(Back to some of the happy stuff now)

David was around for most of Ruby life as well.

Graham and Billy are apart of Daisy band and Graham did travel with daisy during her red and speak now tour.

Billy traveled with her for most of it. Through every tour and was also apart of red and Rep tour.

Now Eugene is a doctor, he’s also from Louisiana (but was born in france before he was shipped to live with his grandmother in Louisiana) and at 17 he moved to New Jersey (where this story is based) and moved in the same apartment building as Billy and Graham and there mother.

Billy and Graham are adopted. (Biological brothers still but have adopted parents)

Growing up daisy and babe move into the same neighborhood and babe becomes an influencer. They are also neighbors.

Daisy and Billy are both Bi.

Everyone jobs

Daisy of course a singer (but growing up she worked in the deil)

Babe an influencer (he also worked in the deil)

Billy a music producer/ guitarist (he worked in a recorded shop just down from the Deil thats how him and daisy met)

Graham a bassist/ guitarist for daisy (job growing up undecided)

Gene a doctor ( job growing up undecided)

Joe and David owned a deil through most of daisy life (David grew up rich with neglectful parents and joe grew up poor before moving in with he grandparents and working at the deil)

Also before daisy music career and some of her tours she did musicals (she did heathers, mean girls , and Wicked - this one’s kinda new but I like to believe she was Glinda)

Photos of characters below

Daisy

David

Joe

Graham

Gene

Babe

Billy

[ladyofthebookcase]

i read the boyfriends comic the other day after seeing a video about it on my youtube homepage and im like ??? THIS is the comic that's gotten so much hate??? the slightly cringe, very cheesy slice of life?? everyones like "oh it's bad rep" ???? im polyamorous and its literally not. its a surprisingly healthy relationship with lots of communication. ill be honest i think some of yall just hate gay people and/or polyam people and are looking for an acceptable target.

[habibialkaysani]

trope selection tag game

saw @laufire doing this and thought it looked fun :)

enemies to lovers or friends to lovers - ofc as a kathony fan I go with enemies to lovers, but I am 1000% a fan of friends to lovers when it's done right. there is just something so *chef's kiss* about both of these tropes tho and the switch that happens, that change in how two people see each other, that I legit can't get enough of <3

coffee shop au or flower shop au - I read the most amaaaazing westallen coffee shop au forever ago: gold, when you find me by @mmtions where barry is a coffee shop owner on the side when he's not the flash, and iris is a journalist who writes bad comics lol. I am partial to flower shop aus tho, @newtonsheffield's kathony florist au is excellent.

hurt/comfort or there was only one bed - I fucking love angst and hurt/comfort just hits all the right spots for me... the vulnerability??? bonus points if there's some whump???

found family or partners in crime - found family for the WIN! mostly because it reflects a lot of what I've experienced irl which is nice.

canon compliant or canon divergent - I love both tbh, but for writing, I tend to write canon compliant or canon fix-its that don't have enough impact on canon to be considered canon divergent (like this kathony one where kate and anthony weren't interrupted by newton)

domesticity or pwp - I write enough of it that it's kind of a given lol. I guess bonus points if it's pwp domesticity tho!

fluff or angst with a happy ending - I love angst with a happy ending bc it's like... you kinda had to work for it, if you get what I mean? whereas pure fluff, it depends.

1st person pov or 3rd person pov - I love 1st person in original fiction but I must admit I have yet to find an example where I don't find it jarring in fic. /@laufire

soulmates or forbidden love - I adore soulmates - whether soulmarks, soulmate aus where the world becomes in colour when you meet your soulmate, etc. esp when writers get really invested in the lore of the soulmate thing like this one and this one by antematter and then characters become emotionally constipated over not thinking they've found their soulmate or being stupid about it. so good.

roommates or fake dating - fake dating can be fun. Especially if it's for undercover shenanigans. /@laufire

slow burn or meet-cute - the slow burn is the BEST because the YEARNING and ANGST that comes with it. I love a good meet cute too, and as you can tell I'm a huge fan of tropes generally, but the slow burn becomes interesting as to what's stopping them from getting together - whether because they're enemies, or friends, or there's something forbidden about their love.

love triangle or polyamorous relationship - I love love LOVE love triangles! they get a bad rep in media but they are messy af and I just have way too much fun with them. I love a good polyam relationship tho.

royalty au or magic au - I have enjoyed a couple of royalty aus immensely - this bodyguard!anthony and princess!kate fic by @newtonsheffield (you can tell I'm a fan lol) and this one with queen kathani by @writtenbygracewilliams is bloody amazing.

high school/college au or neighbours au - I don't have a huge preference for either? but I did read a lovely neighbours au by @newtonsheffield where kate goes to anthony's flat to ask him to zip up her dress that makes me enjoy that one a lot more.

mutual pining or idiots to lovers - I fucking LOVE both of these tropes! esp when it involves two ladies bc that means double the useless lesbians :D but also I have a soft spot for dumbasses in love esp when it's mutual pining and they both think it's unrequited. that stuff is the BEST.

tagging: @ihaveastorminme @laurelwinchester @sophiainspace and anyone else who wants to do this!

[polyamanga]

Poly Rep: We Started a Threesome!!

We Started a Threesome!!, or 3 Partner Hajimemashita!!, is a romantic drama manga by author Katsu Aki.

Lia, Suisei and Emito have known each other since they were children, taking care of a stray cat in the forest. They were inseparable, and the day after they graduated high school, the three of them got unofficially married.

Now adults, the three of them live together in an apartment in the city, far away from their hometown and all the bad memories that live there. Lia is adamant their path in life is the right one, and Emito tends to go along with whatever Lia says, but Suisei still has doubts.

WSAT is...a bizarre read. Three volumes total, it's not overly long, but all three volumes retread the same path over and over, with a couple pit stops that are a VERY jarring shift in tone along the way.

Spoilers from here on out:

Nearly every side character in this series is an enemy to the protagonists in some way, and to say "some way" is a bit generous, because it's almost all in the same way. A character appears, finds out the protagonists are polyamorous, and either try to seduce one of them themselves, or begin to harass them and convince them of how unhealthy and doomed polyam relationships are...or maybe both at the same time!

Lia's boss tries to seduce her as a fellow believer in "free love" ("Wouldn't you be even happier with four?"), Suisei's coworker tells him they're just putting off the inevitable ("Don't you think you're fooling yourself?"), Emito's coworker and her boyfriend want Emito for themselves ("You don't just have to stick to your little threesome..."), Lia's coworkers harrass her for her lifestyle ("You're just a sex-hungry whore that can't be satisfied with just one man!"), Lia's friend from their school days quotes the bible to tell her she's being used (""No one can serve two masters"...loving two people equally at the same time is impossible." and also the incredible line "you're basically just taking turns raping your girlfriend!")...et cetera, et cetera, for all three volumes. A certain degree of conflict is perfectly reasonable in a romantic drama about polyamory, but it becomes stale very quickly when every character is more or less preaching the same thing, and the protagonists react the same way each time.

When faced with opposition, Lia insists this is their path to happiness, and that she won't let go of either Suisei or Emito.

Suisei, in that situation, says this is what they chose as a triad and it will always be that way, but internally he wonders if it's really the best choice.

Emito, says the two of them need him, but ultimately isn't sure where he belongs in the relationship...for a reason that begins to be explored halfway through the series.

These feelings are reiterated ad nauseum without much noteworthy change.

And then, in the middle of volume two, (trigger warning),

Emito's mother drags him back to their hometown, where he is, off-screen, presumably sexually assaulted by Emito's father's boss. It is revealed in this same chapter, that this happened when he was a child as well. He would be dressed up as a girl in this grown man's apartment...and what happens afterward is up to the reader to interpret, but seems fairly obvious.

This is a very sudden and very starling development that felt very out of left field. I don't recall any mention of Emito's past trauma in volume one, despite how much focus they give to Lia's trauma regarding her parent's suicide. It's a jarring moment that almost feels like it's there for shock value, and also comes across as somewhat offensive when it's ripple-effect comes into play later on.

Near the end of volume two, Emito's coworker suggests to Lia that Emito is in love with Suisei, and has been hiding it for the sake of keeping the dynamic of their triad in tact. However, it's revealed in the middle of volume three that it isn't that simple. Emito isn't just in love with Suisei, he's jealous of Lia...as in, he wants to be Lia. Emito has been dressing as a woman and stalking Suisei and Lia, and has been sleeping around with his coworker's boyfriend.

After this, Emito is revealed, right at the end of volume three, to have transitioned, and looks exactly like Lia. (She still goes by Emito, however.)

Emito being revealed to be a transwoman isn't a problem on it's face--it's an interesting reveal, when separated from it's questionable optics regarding her sexual assault and, seemingly, only wanting to be a woman so she can be with Suisei. This aspect isn't explored enough, in my opinion, leaving us with just the shock-reveal of Emito having been cross-dressing and sleeping around. It seems like the intention may have been that Emito was sleeping with another man to explore how she feels about her identity, but again, it isn't explored outside of it's relation to her feelings for Suisei.

It's also worth noting that this reveal leads to Emito running out into the street and getting hit by a truck. She doesn't get isekai'd thankfully, she makes a full recovery, but there is a time-skip of 6 months of her staying in a coma, and Lia finding out she's been pregnant for a while (she doesn't know which of them, uh, sired the child). There's also a bait-and-switch in the last chapter, where the series makes you believe Lia has died during childbirth. But, it's revealed that both Lia and the child are fine and they're all living happily ever after.

Overall, it's messy. It's messy and uncomfortable basically the whole way through, even the moments that are meant to be lighthearted still feel bizarrely sinister with the way the dialogue is worded. It's technically meant to be positive about polyamory, but it doesn't really come across that way.

Even putting all of that aside, it's just not a very well written series. The pacing is so fast that none of the big moments have time to breathe, including the sudden inclusion of sexual assault. It's breezed by at lightning speed.

It's not a very good romance, and it's not a very good drama either. And if it can't manage to be good at either of those things, it's gonna be pretty hard to be a good polyam series.

[dhddmods]

Polyamory is queer.

(For context, we are queer. We are a system full of trans, altersex, m-spec, a-spec, and gay headmates. We are not allies, we are literally LGBTQIA+)

This is something that bugs us very much, and we want to talk about it, because it is something we firmly believe in. Hear us out. Don't jump straight to arguing.

The definition of queer, nowadays, is someone that falls outside of the societal norms of sex, gender, gender expression, and attraction/relationships.

This includes people that are intersex, altersex, on the transgender & non-binary spectrum, gender non-conforming/pronoun non-conforming, a-spec, m-spec, gay, or otherwise experience non-normative attractions (queerplatonic & alterous attraction, autoattraction, etc.)

When discussing the rights of those with queer attraction, sexes, and genders, multiple topics consistently come up.

-Marriage equality and legal partnerships. -The rights to be seen in public (either as yourself or with your partner.) -The rights to be loved and accepted by friends and family. -The rights to be allowed work and housing. -The rights to adopt or have children. -The rights to be welcomed into cultural spaces without judgement (such as religious spaces.) -The rights to reliable healthcare.

All of these are things we should continue to fight for. They are basic human rights. The fight for our rights is what brought us together as a community.

You know who else struggles with those same issues? Polyamorous people. Ethical non-monogamists.

Polygamy is not legalized in a majority of locations. Polyamorous people cannot legally marry more than one of their partners. (See legalized locations here. Read about legality of it in the USA here.)

Being polyamorous can lead to being shunned by a community, slut-shamed, and even lead to acts of violence being performed against someone. It is treated like a dirty little secret.

If someone comes-out as polyamorous to their family or friends, they will often lose those people. They receive nearly the same commentary used by homophobic and transphobic people - calling it "sin" to love and desire people the way they do, and that its not in Gods plan. Being told they can change and that they don't have to be this way. Telling them to get rid of their partners because its immoral. They often feel forced to stay in the closet about their polyamory. (As described here.)

Polyamorous people get shamed at their workspaces, or may even struggle to find jobs. If they discuss their relationships with co-workers, or employers see photographs of them kissing multiple partners, they are often deemed "promiscuous" and "bad rep for the company." It can also affect housing, health insurance, and other things that partners may share. Even in situations where a partner is hospitalized, often only one partner is welcomed to visit them in their hospital room, while the others either have to stay back or lie about their relationship with the hospitalized individual. (Check here and here for further detail.)

The treatment found in workspaces and housing also applies to polyamorous people who wish to adopt - they are often declined and deemed unfit for adoption if their polyamory is discovered, just as people in same-gender relationships are declined adoption. And polyamorous people who have biological children, too. It is treated as an inappropriate setting to raise kids around, as if they are performing a kink, fetish, or sexual act in front of the child. (See here for more details.)

Polyamory is treated like a purely sexual thing. You know how people in same-gender relationships are treated as though their relationships must be purely sexual, and thus, inappropriate around children? That is exactly what happens to polyamorous people, too. Yes, some same-gender relationships are based around sex, but thats not always the case. That same logic applies to polyamory.

Polyamory can be romantic, queerplatonic, alterous, sensual. It doesn't have to be sexual. It can be, but it doesn't have to be. And even if a polyamorous individual is behaving promiscuously, why does that deserve judgement? They wouldn't be doing it in front of non-consenting individuals (like children.) And even if a polyamorous person does something inappropriate, that shouldn't reflect on the community as a whole. Just like how a monogamous person can do something inappropriate, without it reflecting on monogamy as a whole.

Polyamory is treated as purely a choice, which is highly inaccurate. Some ethical non-monogamists view it as a choice, because they are ambiamorous. Most purely polyamorous people, however, do not feel like they have any control over their desires, and would find monogamy restricting and unfit for their way of life. (Read here for perspective.)

For reference, in the USA, about 5% of people are in ENM relationships. That's approximately the same amount of people that are gay and m-spec in the United States. ENM is a marginalized minority, just as all other LGBTQIA+ identities and experiences are. They should be included in queer discussions. They are queer. They have been part of the queer community from the start.

They are a marginalized orientation. Marginalized orientations belong in the queer community. And before you argue that its only sexual and romantic orientations, hear us out - those describe who you are attracted to, and in what way. Relationship orientations describe how many people you want to be with and the structure of it. The two go hand-in-hand.

Every segment of the queer community is latched at the hip, forming a line. Sex relates to the topic of gender. Gender relates to the topic of sexual & romantic orientation. Sexual & romantic orientation relates to the topic of relationship orientations.

Polyamory and same-gender relationships have a history together. This can be seen in concepts such as free love. And much like how transgender and same-gender relationships were normalized in some BIPOC cultures (and erased/overtaken by Western colonization), polyamorous relationships were also normalized in many of those same cultures as well.

As a community, we need to start including polyamory within our discussions, within our fights, within our protests. Even in the fight for "marriage equality," polyamorous relationships get completely shunned from the discussion. (See here.)

"Love is love" applies to them, too. Lets come together as a community, not tear each other apart.

And before you bring up cishet polyamorous people, please remember, cishet people can be queer too. Cishet people can be intersex. Cishet people can be altersex. Cishet people can be a-spec. Cishet people can have queerplatonic and alterous relationships. Being cishet and being queer are not mutually exclusive.

Also keep in mind, this is the exact same discussions people used to have on non-binary, a-spec, and intersex people. The idea that they were not belonging within the community, even though they were always present. Little by little, different aspects of the community have come out of the woodworks and requested a safe space amongst the rest.

[void-chara]

i love being bad polyamorous representation and bad aro representation <3 and i especially love being bad aroallo And aroace rep At the same time due to my nuanced nature as neither and yet both those things sort of.

[polycraftory]

September 2024 Reading Wrapped

I don't know what happened this last month, but all three of us went absolutely feral and read so many books each?? We are going to try to narrow down a few favs each but it's a challenge this month.

You can find all our Storygraphs with reviews for these in our pinned post or by looking up the usernames on the graphics!

It was so hard to pick a favorite since I had so many 5 star reads last month, but when all else fails I'll fall back on good polyamory rep. Championship by Alethea Faust, book 4 of Sex Wizards, continues to be an excellent kinky time! Also I read the first SPECTR collection by Jordan L. Hawk, and it's exactly what I hoped it would be: a polyamorous triad involving a normal guy, the vampiric demon eating storm elemental that is possessing him, and the exorcist who is trying to help. Think Venom mixed with monster of the week paranormal investigation. I am so ready for more!

Nic's favorite book was Bury Your Gays by Chuck Tingle. It's a horrific look into just how bad AI could get in the film industry paired with a compelling horror plot line. Their favorite manga was definitely Therapy Game Restart by Meguru Hinohara: a cute and spicy contemporary BL romance with adults having adult problems.

Gabe's top picks are hard because they read so many books, but the Assistant to the Villain series by Hannah Nicole Maehrer (an office drama in a fantasy villain's lair) and Exposed by H. L. Day (a post-apocalyptic romance featuring a guy on the run and his stalker) probably edge out the others (and were some of my favs as well). They insist on also giving honorable mentions to Junker Seven by Olive J. Kelley (a space romance about the queer liberation movement) and Song of Carcosa by Josh Reynolds (straight up an Arkham Horror spinoff about Venice and the King in Yellow).

[lanaevyssmoved]

👀 what if I was interested in that Gale poly rant but in a positive way?

LKSJFDLKFJGDFG i can't use the rant on you then because it would be too clinical and i would angry swear sometimes probably

but honestly like. first we need to talk about halsin . wait first we need to talk about poly as a sexuality

i'm going to try and not turn this into a massive character analysis or analysis of queer identity in media etc so i will attempt to retain my humour throughout to ground me

people who are poly tend to sit on either side of a coin. poly is a preferred state of relationship, or just a state of relationship they enjoy, and they can do just fine with monogamy, and everything is chill - ultimate relaxed person mode. the other side is the group of poly individuals who view poly as important to them and their sexual identity as being straight or gay or bisexual or pansexual or any other identity. for them it is part of the queer umbrella and it is fundamental to their being, they can't turn it off, they can't be ok with monogamy, this is who they are.

for reference, halsin is the latter. poly is part of his sexual identity.

halsins poly rep is, spoken from a poly person, ok. it is ok. it's not good, it's not bad. it's mostly the stuff around halsin i don't like. (and i am not going to talk about his drow situation, for reference, because that shit goes beyond poly rep.) making halsin token poly, for lack of a better word, would realistically be fine in most situations, in fact i've talked with aisling about this and i would have preferred they made him poly with no poly options in the game to go with him over what we got - we can't forget he was added late, he isn't as fleshed out, he feels a bit misplaced sometimes, and his poly goes hand in hand with that. he could have existed as a poly character, which nearly all wood elves are in canon, without shoving in some poly options for him with existing companions who would explore that with anyone else despite the game allowing you to romance those companions with the other companions if you play as them? and they flirt with each other in banter quite regularly? i don't know. it feels very like, o shit we gotta make him poly he's a wood elf! and he's a druid! but we have no options for him! who are the easiest to add without it feeling odd??? like idk. it doesn't feel great from a poly pov, and if you enjoy like halsin x shart x tav or halsin x astarion x tav that's totally cool - i am not dismissing these at all because i don't fucking care about canon so even if it didn't exist in canon in a way i don't really like, i would still be cool with it.

our poly rep leaves much to be desired, tldr.

i am happy it exists, however. and my hope is that one day in the future when we have an rpg where every romance option is bisexual or pansexual that they are also poly. that is my ultimate ideal for the future of these situations in gaming. i know some people are uncomfortable with poly, but that's why we refer to what i first said. you can have characters like halsin where it is fundamental to their being - they will never be monogamous, you cannot change them. but you can also have individuals who are cool with monogamy if you're not comfortable with polyamory. i want characters who will date each other on their own, and you can join the polycule, or get involved with just one of them. i want devs to be open minded and not give us a token polyamorous character and instead explore it in better ways.

i have known many poly people, i've dated poly people of both sides of the coin, i've been involved with people who are married to someone they don't live with but have nesting partners (a partner they live with who isn't their spouse) and multiple partners on the side and follow the hierarchy side of poly. my ex helped me understand poly as a sexuality and they also didn't subscribe to poly hierarchy and all their partners would be equal. poly is an expansive identity and it deserves the attention and respect other queer identities do.

a poly person creating poly ships and poly situationships with a character or characters who are confirmed monogamous is the same to me as a gay person creating gay ships and gay situationships with a character or characters who are confirmed straight. and that might be divisive, because many people, including queer people are not ready for or not comfortable with polyamory yet in their spaces. now i can be respectful of people who have trauma around polyamory because they were involved with someone who used it as a weapon - usually done by someone who isn't actually poly. but we as poly people deserve to take up space, we deserve to be in your media, we deserve respect, we deserve to be represented well.

and if video game devs aren't going to do that for me, you bet your ass i'm gonna do it for myself. no one can take that power for me.

what exists in my game doesn't have to mean shit for yours - it doesn't exist in yours. it is a thing i do for me to make me happy. if anyone gets upset about that they need to go outside.

please don't cast a witches curse on me

i might come back to edit this ... i haven't proof read it..... this was just screaming <3 i'm too tired to read my own words back