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ghostbeam · 10 months ago

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Oblivi_n.exe | Dabi/Touya Todoroki

Touya Todoroki, known as ‘Dabi’ to the league, quirk class: cremation, mech title: Blue. You’re his new handler.

As Dabi’s new handler, you’re well aware of his history, how frequently he goes through handlers assigned to him. Not that he ever uses them—it’s more complete resistance. You’re not particularly good at your job. Transferred from the PLF for lack of success in handling any of their pilots, you’ve always been far too gentle. You lack authority. Your pilots never respected you. You don’t think Dabi will be any different. You give it a week.

Notes: okay wow hiiiii it’s been a long time since I’ve posted an actual fic (nearing almost a year now😬) this is something I’ve been working on for a bit. I have mech brain rot curtesy of @streimiv and @hawnks (both of whom this is dedicated to bc there’s no way I could have written this without yapping to them abt it and also mint helped me come up w the acronym for HERO’s) and we’ve all got our own mech fics in the works atm but anywayssssss this is kind of my baby atm but I hope it makes sense it’s very inspired first and foremost by pacific rim and then also NGE (mostly through consumption of YouTube vids bc I haven’t actually watched it pls don’t hate me) it’s a whole mess of things and Dabi is kind of a bitch and reader is slowly coming into herself and at the end of the day they both wanna be metal fused to one another forever (no matter how hard he denies it) also I’m not a huge computer person idk if this title makes sense so don’t make fun of me pls ok anyways I hope u like it!!!!

Warnings: 18+, minors DNI, pilot!Dabi x handler!reader, there’s no explicit sexual content in this part, not even a kiss sorry guys, mentions of robot gore (exposed wires, insides described as guts), brief descriptions of being trapped inside a small space, descriptions of burning while inside said space, mention of surgery to fashion a metal jaw onto someone, mentions of child abuse (nothing graphic just allusions to the todoroki family and touya’s past), angst, many run on sentences, a small cliff hanger

Words: 7.9k

Pt. 1 | Pt. 2 (coming soon)

You are nothing without your machine.

It’s the first rule, the first thing beaten into his brain by his father. You carry the burden of the mech alone, or you’re weak. You don’t exist.

U.A. raises the best and brightest pilots, navigators, mechanics, and handlers, each one carefully trained to ensure the most important outcome: winning. It should be protection. It should be defense. But if Touya has learned anything at all, it’s that winning means glory. It means worship. It means HERO’s (Human Engineered Robotic Objects) are saints, and pilots are gods.

Touya used to be one of those best and brightest before his accident.

First son to Enji Todoroki, Touya was supposed to be the golden child, the first Todoroki to pilot without a handler. He was supposed to carry the burden alone, something his father couldn’t do, something only one man has ever actually been capable of.

But Touya is born weak, bad bones, a brain unable to handle all that the mech needs to unload onto it. One too many accidents results in him being expelled from the pilot program, his HERO discarded and collecting dust in its pod, and Touya is promptly transferred to mechanics.

It should have been a smooth transition. If one kid can’t handle it, the next will. Because they have to.

He doesn’t take the news well. It’s a fit of tears, a persistent fight, unable to accept the loss of his machine—of his body. Because Touya loves it. What he lacks in strength, he makes up for in pure passion, and despite being unable to handle the burden, there’s no denying that he’s good. He’s almost perfect.

But almost is not enough for Enji Todoroki, and no matter how hard Touya tries, he’s made up his mind.

After months of mechanics, Touya makes a decision. When the next fleet of HERO’s is deployed for the next kaiju battle, Touya sneaks in among the chaos, tucked neatly inside the chest of his machine where he belongs. It doesn’t take long for things to go south, for Touya to get caught in the crossfire, losing control of his mech and burning from the inside out.

It should be an excruciating death, stuck inside a machine made for war, fire raining from above as a battle continues on outside without him.

But he survives, because what he lacks in strength, he makes up for in resilience, and his mech is programed with solutions to every situation. He’s stuck inside for months before he’s found.

Tomura Shigaraki rescues him, pries open the chest of his mech and pulls him from inside. His group feeds him, takes him in, fashions a new jaw for him made from the metal of his mech, and allows him the decision to join their cause or go back home.

And since there’s no home to go back to, Touya finds his footing with the league and becomes one of their top pilots. One who vehemently resists any and all handlers.

…

Touya Todoroki, known as ‘Dabi’ to the league, quirk class: cremation, mech title: Blue. You’re his new handler.

Following closely behind Tenko, formerly Tomura, he quickly explains to you the in’s and out’s of the pilot/handler relationship, along with a warning about Dabi’s resentment toward the whole idea. You try to keep up, but he talks quickly and uses his hands a lot. Even so, you can tell he’s a natural leader, something he had to grow into after overthrowing the man who raised him. His story is a tragic one, and it resonates with you because Tenko came out the other side stronger. Now, the league is a community with a cause, one you really believe in. Even if you and Dabi aren’t the right fit, you still have a place here.

You follow Tenko into what he calls the garage, a large floor of the abandoned academy that serves as the league’s base, this part of it full of HERO’s and mechanics all focused on the machines in front of them. It’s completely different from how HERO’s were worked on at UA, where you grew up, and even the PLF didn’t have one dedicated floor to this sort of work. You can feel the energy of the room buzzing on your skin, music blasting from old radios and mechanics tossing tools towards one another in a familiar routine. Tomura leads you to Dabi and his HERO, Blue, though you’re instructed not to call it a HERO around him. With goggles over his eyes and gloved hands, he brings two wires from Blue’s ankle together, sighing at the way they spark each time they connect.

“Dabi.” Tomura calls over the music coming from the radio hanging off of Dabi’s waist. He drops the wires and his gaze flickers toward the two of you. Pushing his goggles up to his forehead, he gives you a once over. His eyes are the brightest you’ve ever seen—kaiju blood blue—and burn scars litter his body. He’s striking in a way you’ve never seen, almost too beautiful to be human. Giving Dabi your name, Tomura explains that you’re taking over as his handler, seeing as he couldn’t keep the last one for more than a couple of days. “She’s your last handler. If you can’t keep this one, then go ahead and fry your brain. See if I care.”

“You say that every time.” Dabi calls from around sucker as Tomura walks away, leaving you alone with your new pilot.

You just your hand out in a greeting, “I’m looking forward to working with you.”

Eyeing your hand, Dabi shakes his head and turns his back to you, picking the two wires back up and connecting them again, despite the same spark from before igniting between the two. He looks back up at Blue, touching his fingers to the slim lines starting at the back of her ankle and running all the way up her leg. You peak over his shoulder at the wiring, noticing that he’s connecting two of the wrong ones.

“It’s the wrong wire.” You tell him, and he spins around to look at you, tearing his goggles from his face as he scoffs.

“Here we go.” He sighs with a roll of his eyes, pulling the candy from his lips and tossing it onto the tool cart without a care. “Handler know-it-all bullshit. This is my mech.”

You push passed him and grab the similarly colored wire from beside a red wire and connect it with the one in Dabi’s right hand. Blue lights up cyan through the thin lines that run along each of its limbs and torso, connecting with the two cameras within its head, which seem to blink before the light reaches them.

In an instant, you’re being pushed up against the hard metal, a strong arm over your chest—pinning you up against the HERO. Dabi, now having discarded his goggles, looks at you full of white, hot rage.

“Don’t fucking touch her.” He growls. You’re suddenly aware of the close proximity, eyes flickering between the snarl across his lips and his angry gaze. For a beat, you both freeze, the air suddenly charged like you’re waiting for one another to strike. Snapping yourself out of his hypnotic stare, you push against his chest, forcing him to let you go.

“If I’m going to be you’re handler, you’re going to have to trust me with her.” You remind him. He lets out a harsh laugh, like he can’t believe you would suggest such a ridiculous idea.

“I don’t trust anything but this machine.” He speaks, turning away from you to seal up the machine’s exposed wires. It’s a challenge you’re willing to accept.

“Well, I’m here to change that.” You tell him, before turning on your heel to leave him alone.

He thinks he’ll give you a week.

…

One of the worst parts of being assigned a handler, Touya thinks, is the way that pilot/handler living quarters are set up. He assumes the academy, before it was abandoned and turned into a base for the league, created this sort of set up so that handlers could keep a close eye on their pilots. The handlers Touya has burned through up until now also assumed the same.

The door that connects both the pilot’s and handler’s dorms doesn’t lock, and all of Touya’s past handlers have taken advantage of this fact. He’s been pulled out of bed far too early, pushed around and commanded and barked at. Most handlers behaved as if pilots belonged to them, which was the sentiment drilled into their brains from being thrown into such a fucked up system at a young age.—unless you were a pilot of status like a Todoroki. While he league dedicates a lot of its time to reversing these ideas, most handlers look at Touya like some kind of challenge, this arrogant pilot begging to be tamed. It never takes long for them to realize how easily he’s able to flip the switch on them. You’ll be no different.

But hours pass and you still haven’t entered. You don’t swing the door open and demand he apologize for his behavior earlier. You don’t try and punish him with training regimes, a command of a set of push ups, a schedule you expect him to follow, an extremely detailed meal plan. The entire evening comes and goes without so much as a sound on the other side of the door so he knows you’re even behind it.

He falls asleep unnerved by this, waking up late into the night in a cold sweat, expecting you to barge in, rip the covers from his body and demand to train together. When he wakes up (peacefully) the next morning, there’s no sign of you. He rises from his bed, drinks orange juice straight from the carton and eats a candy bar for breakfast. He fiddles with the navigation screen from his mech that stopped working a couple of days ago, tools spread out on the counter in front of him. Once he’s got the thing working again, your knock sounds from the unlocked door between the two of you. He thinks this might be it, the commands he expects to fall from your lips at the ready as he swings the door open, but you stand there, nervous, hands twitching as your eyes finally meet his.

Greeted by a shirtless Touya, hair mused from sleep, cargo pants hung low on his hips, dog tags swinging against his chest, his scars on display, unashamed and proud. The sight of him knocks the breath out of you, and you clear your throat in embarrassment, hoping your state of dreaming comes off as nerves rather than lust.

“Dabi. Or do you prefer Touya?” You smile. When he doesn’t answer, you continue. “I wanted to see if you wanted to eat breakfast together in the caf. I think we should start over. Yesterday was—”

You’re promptly cut off, “I already ate breakfast.”

With a harsh slam of the door, he leaves you stunned in your room.

You eat alone.

When you started as a pilot, back when you’d entered UA (a few years about Touya’s accident), you went into it believing you could change the world. The exam had placed you into the position of handler, and you were assigned a pilot who had always seemed a little frightened of you despite your obvious lack of authority. Bringing the fact up to your instructors did nothing. They all assured you that this was the ideal dynamic, that the handler always had the upper hand, but you hated that feeling. You weren’t a team like you expected to be; you were urged to control your pilot. You were there to keep them in line, not to be a pillar of support. The bond was never built on trust, and the soul link was always a looming threat. No matter how many pilots you went through, the link was never held as a gift, but a prison, something you would both be stuck with for the betterment of society, a sacrifice to make.

You’d been expelled from the handler program after guiding your pilot to help save another in the wreckage of your first battle together, resulting in the damage of your pilot’s HERO. Your pilot was okay, but the other couldn’t be saved, and you were blamed for the damage of both mech’s.

When you found the league (or when the league found you), you were working with the PLF, but proved to be a weak handler. Every pilot you were assigned to took advantage of your optimistic outlook on the kind of relationship dynamic that pilots had with their handlers. Despite all that you had been through at UA, and with the rest of the pilots you’d been paired with after, you never gave up the hope that handlers and pilots could behave as a team, or, even better, one entity.

Tenko had taken one look at you and demanded you’d be transferred to the league. There hadn’t been much of a choice in the matter, not that you really cared. You were miserable everywhere else. But when you arrived at the abandoned academy and taken a peak behind the kudzu covered walls where each and every area of the building acted as multiple moving parts in collaboration with one another in order to create one massive system, you realized that this was the future you imagined for yourself—and for the world you lived in.

Tenko saw something in you that day, something you aren’t sure you even see in yourself. And so Dabi was your first task, one that’s proving to be very difficult. But he doesn’t treat you like all the other pilots before had. He doesn’t use you. In fact, it seems like he wants nothing to do with you. And while that’s a problem, it’s still one you can work with.

You’re broken from your thoughts by the sound of a voice through an overhead intercom asking for everyone to meet on the first floor of the academy at their earliest convenience. Judging by the quick movements of those around you, you figure you’d better head downstairs as soon as possible.

The meeting on the first floor makes you very aware of just how small the league really is. While it’s definitely not a tiny organization, it’s still much smaller than both UA and the PLF. With everyone piled up like this in one group, you realize it feels more like a community, and the hum of conversation that surrounds you comforts you in a way you’ve never felt within the walls of any other academy before.

There’s discussion about the upcoming mission, one which may be the league’s most ambitious yet; the plan to hijack a mech and kidnap a pilot may be a little unorthodox compared to the league’s past missions, but the jaded pilot they’re targeting has a high chance of joining the cause. Or that’s what they have assumed. As the bodies move and speak around you, it strikes you how different this meeting is from any other meeting you’ve ever been a part of. Tenko is less a dictator and more a wrangler for the disembodied voices of your peers.

You don’t know much about his story, save for the vague details you’ve heard, but Tenko’s status as a lone handler is something you find yourself curious about. If he’s able to work without a pilot, why can’t you? It’s an idea you keep in your back pocket, one you think you can fall back on if things with Touya don’t work out. But you want them to work out. So badly.

You aren’t sure what it is about him, but he’s reignited that spark inside of you. You know he’d rather you give up, and maybe the you from a couple of months ago would have, but something about him—and this place—won’t let you leave.

As you observe the meeting, you take the time to look around the room, taking in your peers and their attentive faces as they listen to Tenko intently. You turn to your right, your eyes meeting a pair of blue ones, impossible to miss. Dabi holds your stare for what feels like ages, and when your colleagues erupt in a fit of many simultaneous discussions, you tear your eyes from his to observe the commotion. When you glance back in his direction, he’s gone.

You don’t seem him again after that. You train with other handlers, get to know your peers a little better. Everyone else seems to be welcoming, and most offer you sympathy when they find out you’re Touya’s new handler. From what you can gather, he’s had his fair share of them, all of which have quit or left in hysterics due to his harsh nature. When you ask around about where he could be, you’re told that he’s most likely in the garage, a place you assume he’s in more often than not.

You don’t know if you’ll ever get used to the garage. A place so completely different, so against the ideas and beliefs of any other academy you’ve been a part of, the chaos and community within is so foreign to you. You find Touya with Blue, working inside of her chest, where the cockpit is.

“Touya!” You call up to him and watch as he peaks his head over the edge of her metal plating. Annoyance falling across his face, he jumps down from where he stands, landing hard on his feet in front of you.

“What are you doing here?” He questions, his figure so tall and imposing above you. He’s not particularly muscular, not even all that tall compared to Tenko, but he makes you feel small regardless, in more ways than one. Rolling your shoulders back, you stare straight into his eyes, unwilling to back down.

“I figured you wanted your space today.” You explain, as Touya moves around you to get to his rolling cart of tools, forcing you to turn toward him and follow him if you want him to hear you. “I know adjusting to a new handler is rough, and I never want to make you uncomfortable. But I was thinking we could try some of those pilot/handler bonding exercises. It might be good to start training like some of the others do.”

He drops the wrench in his hand onto his cart with a loud thud, turning around toward you with a look of disbelief on his face. “Pilot/handler bonding exercises? They really brainwashed the shit out of you at UA, huh?”

At the mention of your past academy, your eyes widen in surprise. You had no idea he knew about that. Clearing your throat in order to compose yourself, you speak again, “I left UA for a reason. I have no attachment to their methods, but you guys do the same stuff here, so what’s the issue?”

“The issue is that I never asked for a fucking handler in the first place, especially not one as eager as you.” He spits, “Sure, you’re understanding now, all that bullshit about ‘giving me space,’ but the moment you get a lick of power over me, you’ll change. You’re not different.”

“I don’t want power over you. This is an equal exchange. Pilot’s and handlers are meant to be a team—” You try and argue, but he doesn’t let you finish.

“That’s what they told you, right? We’re a team, and as teammates, you make sacrifices. And it doesn’t matter if one of you turns into the other’s braindead dog because that’s your place.” His words hit you hard, the exact thought process you went through when leaving UA, completely disillusioned with their idea of “teamwork.” He’s right, and you know it, but since coming here, you thought that wasn’t how it had to be.

“Look, trust me, I get—” You’re cut off again.

“You went to UA! There’s no trusting you.” He scoffs, “It’s not like you’ll last here, anyway.”

“You are such a hypocrite! You’re from UA!” You retort, throwing your arms up in desperation. “You can hate me all you want. You can resist and resist and fry your brain ‘till there’s nothing left, but I believe in this shit. And you don’t get to tell me that I don’t, or tell me I’ll turn into something I worked so hard to get away from.”

Touya stands there, surprised by your outburst, completely unaware that you were capable of all of that. He doesn’t say anything back, and you roll your eyes. “So fuck you, and, by the way, her angel port is smoking.”

At your words, he turns in a rush, seeing the smoke billowing from Blue’s chest as he climbs his way up her form. Once inside his machine, he extinguishes the port and allows himself to relax. There are two things on his mind in this moment: how you could have possibly known it was the angel port without being inside of Blue’s chest and how, for the first time in a long time, he feels bad for his handler.

But for you, it’s the first time you’ve ever held your own against a pilot before, and that feels good.

…

Something feels weird.

Off, unsettling, strange.

He realizes, much to his dismay, that it’s your absence. Despite only having you around for such a short time, Touya has realized that your lack of presence now feels wrong. He hates it. He hates you.

He can’t find you. You haven’t knocked on his door. You’re not in the caf, not the garage, not the sparring floor, not in your room. And he did check—without knocking.

He’s not even sure how he can feel an absence. You aren’t a regular part of his life, and he never wanted you to be. But he feels all fucked up.

During training, Touya jams Blue’s halo core and she leaks vibrant neon from between her ribs. It takes him half an hour to get her reboot her system and rips one of the cables attached to the back of his suit in the process. He spends the afternoon cleaning HERO fluid off the sparring floor.

During repairs, he shocks himself over and over while trying to fix her core, fingers burning from the sparks each time he arranges the wires inside. The cameras in her eyes won’t work from the reboot, and Blue won’t let him unlock the lens panel to fix it. It’s almost like she’s mad at him too.

He’s a complete mess. It’s your fault. He has no choice but to go looking for you. Again.

He searches every wing of the academy before concluding that you’re in your room. He barges through the joint door, spotting you at the counter in your tiny kitchen. You’re surprised by the intrusion, a frightened gasp falling from your lips as you jump in your seat. You turn toward him, prepared with angry words on your tongue, but Touya speaks first.

“You’re not getting an apology out of me, so don’t expect it.” He begins, moving to stand in front of your swiveling kitchen stool as he looks down at you. “But I’m willing to be civil with you, so we don’t have to do this shit anymore.”

You’re not exactly sure what “this shit” is, but Touya looks a little worse for wear at the moment, so you don’t question it. He places a tray from the caf down in front of you that you hadn’t noticed in his hands upon arrival, says nothing else, and turns to leave the room. After shutting your joint door, you look down at the tray of food, noticing one of his suckers placed onto a vacant compartment of the tray.

You’re greeted the next morning with a knock on your door, Touya dressed in his pilot’s suit on the other side as you swing the door open. “C’mon. You’re gonna watch me train today.”

You watch him turn around to leave, expecting you to follow. You rush to pull on your combat boots and grip your dog tags in your fist as you rush to catch up to him. He doesn’t spare you a glance as you fall into step beside him, taking a look around his dorm before he leads you through the exit door.

“You need to get a feel for my fighting style.” He explains as you walk down the corridor. “I’m not saying I’ll listen to you when it comes down to it, but it’s important for you to know.”

You nod, agreeing that you should definitely observe him inside of his HERO. By understanding his moves, you’ll be able to understand the way he thinks, and you’ll be able to help him in actual combat if needed. He’s already said he won’t listen to you, but it won’t stop you from trying. He stops abruptly, turning to look at you, and you stop with him.

“If we’re gonna do this, it’ll be on my terms. I’m not your dog.” He tells you, seriously. He eye’s you up and down, taking in your expression as you nod at his words. “If anything, you’re mine.”

He begins walking again, leaving you in your spot, irritation filling your chest as you watch him, smug. “Asshole.” You curse under your breath.

“What’d you say?” He barks, turning to look at you abruptly.

“You’re an asshole.” You speak louder. He walks back toward you, making sure to tower over you intimidatingly as he looks down at you in annoyance. His eyes flicker down to the tags around your neck before hooking a finger on the chain and pulling you closer.

“Watch it.” He drops the chain and walks away again.

You follow him to the sparring floor, and he shows you where to go to watch. Stood behind a large window that looks over the sparring area, other members of the base watch the HERO’s engage in combat below. You spot Tenko and he motions for you to stand beside him.

“I knew he’d warm up to you.” He comments. The last of the previous battle finishes and you watch the two enormous machines retreat to the sides of the area, their pilots emerging from their chests with their handlers rushing to the bottom of the mech’s in support.

“He hasn’t. He’s not.” You shake your head. You aren’t sure why you deny it, if it’s some way to keep your expectations low or if there’s some kind of embarrassment aspect to the whole thing. Whatever is happening between you and Touya feels intimate and private, something that the two of you need to figure out for yourselves, not something meant for the eyes of others.

“Hm. Okay.” Tenko shrugs. “Guess not.”

You hadn’t noticed Touya enter his mech at all. You see the swing of one giant mechanic arm, too close to the window you stand behind, and you’ve shifted your full attention to the scene at hand.

The enormity of the room surprises you, despite the fact that you had seen it just moments before. But when you’re truly looking at it, watching these huge machines go at each other, the way the ground shakes, the leaves outside shake, the deep forrest clear in view from the wall that opens out to the greenery (the lack of a wall is likely from the academy’s abandoned state, but it’s a good feature to have on the sparring floor when giant robots are toppled over onto various surfaces).

The way Blue moves is electric, mechanic movements almost feel fluid with the way that Touya pilots her, easily dodging attacks from their opponent and moving around them in the most graceful way a giant machine can. It’s beautiful, unlike any fighting style you’ve ever seen in a HERO before.

“He’s showing off for you.” Tenko observes from beside you. You don’t argue with him, only because you can’t dispute it. This is your first time seeing him in action. It makes your heart beat out of your chest. There’s this ache like you should be inside with him, cables connected to both of you, tucked neatly inside of Blue together.

It doesn’t take him long to get his opponent on their back, the heavy thump against the floor jostling the ant-like figures on the ground below, handlers waiting for their pilots to finish. It goes on like this for a while, his training, using different methods of combat and winning each time. He’s amazing, and you can tell why his reputation is the way it is, second only to Tenko, who you have yet to see in action.

When he finishes his last session, you watch Blue walk to the edge of the room, and Touya emerges from her chest, jumping the long way down her body without any issue. You watch as he looks toward the window you’re behind. He waves at you, an acknowledgment of your presence, and you wave back, though you aren’t sure he can actually see you.

It’s the beginning of everything for the two of you. You think Tenko was right.

He lets you stay with him afterwards while he does maintenance on Blue. He helps you climb up the path to her chest, hauling you over the edge to sit inside with him. He turns around abruptly, holding a hand up before allowing you to walk any further.

“Do not touch anything.” He warns, completely serious, before letting his hand fall and allowing you further into the cockpit. You take in your surroundings, the guts of his machine, analyzing the different control panels and screens that line the interior. You can tell he takes good care of her, and he spends a lot of time in here. It looks lived in, stickers stuck to metal plating and pieces of him all over. He’s made a second home in between the ribs of his mech. You feel a little jealous, though you aren’t sure of what.

The two of you sit against the left side of Blue’s interior, waiting for her updates to finish, the loading screen on each of her monitors display a fire graphic that grows with the increasing percentage on screen. Between you and Touya sits an opened bag of sour gummies, which Touya picks out the lemon flavor and drops the candy in your palm with each new handful he gathers.

“How do you know all this stuff?” He questions around a mouthful of sour cherry, “Like, the real names for things, where stuff goes, how to fix them. That day with the wires…”

“I spent a lot of time around mechanics at UA, and then also at the PLF.” You explain, picking the yellow colored candy from his open palm as you speak. “I couldn’t connect with other handlers. I didn’t like how they thought, or how they viewed the pilot/handler relationship. Mechanics were mostly neutral, and they loved these machines like nothing else. They reminded me of why I joined UA in the first place.”

“Hm.” He nods, thinking about your past. “Well, I guess if you spent so much time around actual professionals…I could maybe use your help sometimes in the garage.”

“Really?” You question excitedly, a spark lighting up your eyes as you swerve your head toward him. He feels something tight in his chest at the sight.

“Yes, but only on the outside. I don’t want you messing with her insides, yet.” He establishes. “And never alone. I have to be there at all times.”

“Of course, yes, oh my god. Touya!” You smile, gripping his shoulder firmly, a gesture of thanks, communication of how much his trust means to you. “I’ll be so careful with her, I promise.”

“Yeah, well, you have no other choice.” He shrugs, throwing another pile of candy in his mouth. “I’ll kill you if anything happens to her.”

You take the threat seriously, but his heart isn’t in it. He’s realized that you’ve wormed your way into his life and he hadn’t even noticed just how entangled you were now.

As the weeks go by, you spend a lot more time together. You work on blue together, and you rest inside of her chest, sometimes allowing yourself to drift off against his shoulder on especially tiring days. He sits beside you in the caf, and while he doesn’t always say much, the feeling of his arm against yours is comforting. You can tell people are starting to notice, and they’re starting to talk. You’re being dubbed someone who’s tamed him, but you know how far from the truth that is.

Despite your differences and the petty arguments that come up when Touya feels like you’re intruding on his independence, you’re growing attached. You wonder if he is, too.

…

Spending time together in the garage becomes the new normal for the two of you. Being in each other’s dorms feels far too intimate, so you always meet in the garage. This way, one of you is always busy doing something with your hands. There’s no room for any strange feelings in the pit of your stomach to seep in.

You sit in the crook of Blue’s neck, watching Touya as he repairs the lenses in her “eyes.” Blue has three pairs of eyes; in her head, her chest, and down near her hips, which all footage is projected onto monitors inside the cockpit so that Touya has a full view of what’s in front of him.

He’s so peaceful while he works, you’ve noticed, almost like he goes somewhere else completely. It’s a part of him you don’t think many people get to see, a piece of him just for you, and you want to be selfish with it.

“Can I ask you something?” You question, leaning your head back against the metal. “But you can’t get mad.”

He looks up at you, still fiddling with a lens, a mocking look on his face. “I’m not making any promises.”

You take a deep breath, preparing yourself for the possible fallout of the question you’re about to ask, “What do you think about the soul link?”

“No.” He shakes his head. “I’d never do it.”

You nod your head in understanding, “yeah, I get it. It’s weird, right? The idea that someone else would be inside your brain.”

“It’s fucking invasive.” He says.

“You know, at UA it always felt like a threat, you know. Like, it was a way for a handler to control their pilot, not a tool or a bond like it should be.” You begin, thinking back to how you viewed the soul link back then. You didn’t like how the bond was presented as this power that a handler holds over their pilot, a threat to keep their pilot in line. But, you could understand how the link could be used for good. “But since coming here, I can tell it’s not all bad. People trust each other here. I mean, there’s obviously some people who abuse it, but, for the most part, everyone seems to understand what it really means to be a pilot and a handler.”

You’re mostly just thinking out loud, but Touya doesn’t say anything to your ramblings. He continues to work on the lenses, and you can gather that he doesn’t want to talk about the subject anymore. But you can’t let it go, yet. There’s something you’ve been worried about since you met him.

“And what about…your brain? They say when a handler and a pilot don’t complete the soul link, the pilot will eventually fry their brain.” You can’t help it. You think about it all the time, what will happen when he can’t take it anymore. The closer you get to him, the realer it feels. “Are you ever worried about that?”

He looks at you, an expression you can’t quite make out fall across his face as he stares. It’s almost soft, the way he looks at you in this moment. “You don’t have to worry about me.”

The truth is, this is a reality Touya has accepted. He’s not afraid to die, and he never has been. He’ll probably die inside of Blue, and he has no problem with that fact. He doesn’t need to be around for long, just enough to show his dad what he’s capable of.

“C’mon.” You stare. “That’s not fair.”

“Shit. I left some of the screws for this in my dorm.” He curses. He looks where you lounge, tucked into Blue’s shoulder. “Keep an eye on her, okay?”

You watch him jump down, much higher than his usual height at her chest, but he lands anyway. He doesn’t turn to look back at you as he jogs away. You climb up the side of Blue, and look at the lenses in her head. They’re already repaired, and you know Touya used the excuse of missing screw just so he wouldn’t have to talk about the soul link.

But it’s the first time he’s ever left you alone with Blue before.

…

As the mission draws closer, Touya throws himself into training. You’re on the training floor with him most days, standing behind that big glass panel as you watch him spar with his peers. He still doesn’t let you down on the floor with him until he’s full out of Blue and close enough to the edge of the sparring floor to get to you. You’re not allowed in the actual training area, and even though he says he doesn’t want you clinging to him, it’s really because he wants to keep you safe. Seeing your human body near the giant machines that are HERO’s makes him want to grab you and keep you inside of Blue’s chest forever.

You can tell all the training is taking a toll on him. With an excess of headaches and the occasional nosebleed, you continuously get into arguments about him cutting back on training inside of Blue. There are other ways for him to prepare that don’t involve his fragile brain being hooked up to an entity that takes so much. He doesn’t listen.

Later and later into the night, as your fellow pilots and handlers disperse and return to their rooms to sleep, Touya stays inside of Blue, testing her movements and sparring against test dummies and obstacles. Once you and Touya are the only two left on the sparring floor, you speak into the intercom attached to your head.

“Touya, I think you should take a break.” You tell him, “It’s late. Get some rest and then we can pick it back up in the morning.”

There’s a pause, then, “I’m gonna stay for another hour. Get some sleep. I’ll be done soon.”

“No, Touya. You’ve been at it for hours. You barely took a break for dinner. C’mon.”

“You know, you sound awfully like a handler trying to tell their pilot what to do.” He teases, but you can hear the irritation in his voice.

“You are insufferable. I’m worried about you.” You groan.

“I’m fine. Go sleep.” He insists.

“If I find out you aren’t out of here in an hour—” Your line is promptly cut off, leaving behind static in your ear. You sigh and throw your com to the side. You hope he’s telling the truth.

With one last look at Blue, you make your way out of the training floor and find your way back to your dorm.

Touya doesn’t answer the door when you knock the next morning. With a frustrated groan, you leave your dorm and head to the training floor, assuming he woke up early to get some extra hours in. The closer you get the the floor, you notice other members of the base rushing in front of you. Feeling panicked, you pick up the pace, jogging toward the training room to make sure something isn’t wrong. You collide with a body in front of you, nearly falling to the floor as you steady yourself. Toga stands in front of you, her cheeks red and eyes glossy as she explains something your mind can’t catch up to understand. The only thing you recognize is his name, and you’re running toward the training floor in an instant.

You watch as Blue stomps around the area, her arms swinging in all directions, losing her footing as she moves. Knowing you can’t do anything on the floor, you make your way up to the overlook, finding Tenko yelling into your intercom.

“What’s going on? What’s happening?” You ask him, pulling the headset off of his head and placing it on yours instead.

“He’s out of fucking control. He won’t answer. I don’t even think he’s conscious in there.” He tells you, running a hand through his hair, pulling at the roots in anxiety. “You’re not linked yet, are you?”

You shake your head, closing your eyes in frustration as you try to think. You know it’s the only way. You have to take some of the burden off of him, make him share it with you. It’s the only way he’ll survive right now. “Do you think you can get into Decay right now and knock him down somehow?”

He hesitates, “I can get inside. I can’t guarantee I’ll be able to touch him at all.”

“You have to.” You plead, desperately. “I just need him down for ten seconds, tops. As long as I can get inside of her, I can save him.”

He looks at you like you’re insane, and maybe you are. But you know you can’t live with yourself if you don’t try something. Tenko nods.

“I can do it.” He tells you. You rush passed him, following the stairs down to the training area. You feel Tenk grab your wrist firmly. “You bring him back, okay?”

“I will.” You nod.

He dodges Blue’s movements, weaving between her legs as he finally makes it to Decay. It takes a few moments for him to connect, but he goes straight for Blue. You watch the giant machines fight one another, but it’s clear that Blue’s lack of control hinders much of her ability. She needs Touya just as much as he needs her. It’s tough for Decay to dodge her swinging arms, but Tenko manages to knock her down quickly.

The fall shakes the room, but you waste no time running for Blue. Climbing over the side of her, you manage to touch your thumb to the pad on the outside to open her chest up. She begins to stand up, and you slip down, grabbing onto a bar beneath her ribcage. You let out a frustrated groan as you try to pull yourself up over the edge of the cockpit. Finally making it over, you see Touya sitting there, still connected to his pilot’s chair, eyes glazed over and blood gushing from his nose. You push the button that closes the panel in Blue’s chest, and you’re suddenly alone with him.

Touya’s body is being jerked around by the movement of the mech, and you hang onto the walls of her chest in order to make your way to him. You situate yourself in his lap, taking his head in your hands as you look at him with tears in your eyes.

“You fucking asshole! I told you to take a break.” You sob, resting your head against his as you try and think of what to do next. “Touya, please. Please, baby, I need to you come back. Just fucking come back so I don’t have to do this without your permission, please.”

With no response from him, you wipe your tears, coming to terms with the fact that you have to complete the soul link now, or he’ll die. “I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry, Touya. Please forgive me.”

The soul link isn’t exactly an action so much as it is a feeling, an experience. There’s no trigger for it, no way to make it happen. It just begins.

It’s Touya, aged thirteen, wild, chubby-cheeked and happy, in the pilot’s seat of his father’s HERO. It’s his drive, his determination, his anger, his hurt. It’s the day he snuck into battle, the day he couldn’t get out, flesh burning and fusing to the metal walls of his mech, the feeling now deep in your skin. It’s you, aged fifteen, hopeful, alive, shaking hands with your first pilot. It’s your heart, much too big and much too open for your line of work, it’s your passion, your fire, every piece of you that was broken down again and again until there was nothing left. It’s Touya and it’s you, and every single bit of your souls now tied together in one big knot.

There’s nothing but darkness. And then there’s screaming. And then you can hear everything. Every thought running through Touya’s brain right now echoes in your head as you slowly come back to yourself. He can hear the same of yours.

It’s overwhelming at first, to have two sets of thoughts in your head at the same time, but you manage to focus. You can feel an anger inside of you like you’ve never felt. It’s almost like it’s your own. You need to come back. You’ve lost control of Blue.

In an instant, you feel yourself come back to your body, now straddling Touya like before, you feel his arms shoot around you and he tucks his chin over your shoulder to pilot Blue like he’s used to doing. He pays no mind as he presses up against you, but you feel your heart rate increase at the closeness.

He’s so close.

I have to be. You’re in my lap.

Shit. I didn’t think—

Clearly.

I can’t fucking believe you. I told you we weren’t going to do this.

You were dying!

Then you fucking let me!

You’re jostled around in his lap for a moment as he stops Blue from destroying any more of the training floor, and Touya wraps an arm around your waist, holding you steady.

He gains control of her quickly, moving her toward the edge of the room. You tuck your face into his neck, not wanting to distract him and keeping your thoughts at bay so you don’t overwhelm him. He powers Blue down, severing the neural connection between the two of you, and shoves you from his lap and into the pilot’s chair like you’ve burned him. He storms out of the cockpit, climbing out of his machine and leaving you inside. You think about the argument you had within each other’s head, how Touya would have rather died than be linked to you like he is now.

You slump against the seat, comforted by the metal cage you’ve been left inside of.

#dabi x reader #touya todoroki x reader #bnha x reader #tw claustrophobia #just in case it’s like so brief and doesn’t describe much yet but I just wanna be safe #ghost.writes #ghost.fic

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lvis44 · 8 months ago

Text

Senna or Superman // LH44

Lewis Hamilton x Reader

Warnings: Language, Angst, Talk of this seasons difficulties, Suggestive dialogue, (Felipe Massa jump scare mention), Not Edited

Word Count: 4.3k+

Summary: Brazil 2024 was unforgiving, but amidst it all some greatness can still be achieved.

Notes: Hey y'all, like I said, I was feeling like typing and needed to work on something different for a second and I think I can speak for all of us that today had me feeling all of the emotions. There's definitely some angst in here but a lot of it is just absolute fluff and reader being an absolute Stan of her boyfriend, bc who wouldn't be if they were dating Lewis Hamilton, lets be real. Also, I've said it once I will say it again, I cannot follow a tense to save my life to ignore that. Kisses xxxx!!!

I am not a professional writer and all of this is a work of fiction and is strictly for fun. Enjoy! xxx

You hadn’t gotten much sleep and you were feeling it as you sat in the back of the Mercedes garage. Lewis had been hyper and full of anxious energy when he returned to the hotel last night. He had spent most of the previous day bobbing around the paddock like an energetic child, complaining about the delay in qualifying and trying to convince anyone that would listen to him that they should be sent out to try and put a lap together. He’s in Brazil, he wants to put on a show, but he’d been forced to wait much to his dismay and that had left you having to deal with him. He had been hyper after being so ready to go but never getting the release from his adrenaline and also annoyed that the sport had changed so much, yapping on about how when he first got to F1 they would have sent them out and that danger and adrenaline is a key part of the sport. You tried incessantly to get him to chill but you really had to just let him wear himself out, much like an actual child. It wasn’t until later in the evening, laying against his chest after finally convincing him to try to get some sleep, that you really got the answer to his emotions.

“I’m so excited and honored that I’m driving the MP4 tomorrow, but I’m also nervous. I was so prepared to do it today but having to wait, delaying the gratification, it’s really getting to me.” Lewis whispered into the comfortable silence, surprising you with the unprompted admission.

“It’s even more iconic to do it on race day.” You told him softly, rubbing your hand against his warm chest hoping to lighten the weight of whatever way playing in his mind.

He just hummed in response, evidently deep in his thoughts, his arm tightening around you ever so slightly.

“It’s understandable that you’re nervous Lew, you’re driving a piece of history, not just history to the sport but to your own personal journey and career. You’ve been asked to drive your idols car, the man is the reason you found your calling. Superman or Senna, right?” You kept your voice quiet, realizing that he needed to talk this through a bit more but not wanting to disrupt the peace that had settled around the two of you.

He smiled down at you as he heard the last part of your statement, chuckling lightly, “Superman or Senna, yes indeed.” He trailed off for a moment, the soft smile lingering on his lips as he stared at the ceiling, almost as if reminiscing over those years when those were his two goals in life, back as a young boy in Stevenage. “What’s kinda funny is that it’s not that I’m really nervous about driving the car itself, like I feel confident in that part, I feel like I’m more than capable. It’s that I’m nervous that I don’t deserve this or something, this is a big deal and I would never want anyone to regret this decision or something. I honestly don’t even really know, like I don’t know why they would regret it I just, I don’t know. Just not really sure I’m worthy of this.” He finished his rant, letting out a deep sigh.

Hearing his thoughts caused you to sit up, no longer caring if you broke the peace in the room. You stared directly at him, eyes locked with his that were evidently startled at your abrupt departure from your cuddle.

“Lewis, I need you to listen to me. They chose you, Senna's family specifically chose you and asked you.” You started, poking him in the chest for emphasis before putting the same finger over his lips to shush him when he tried to argue. “They could have asked any of the other drivers on the grid, they could have asked a retired driver, they could honestly have asked whoever the hell they wanted, but no they asked for you. Not the current reigning champion, not the owner of the car, not even a Mclaren driver. They asked you, not only because they recognize your talent but because they see him in you. They see the love and respect that the people of Brazil have for you and they see you return that tenfold. This beautiful country made you a citizen for a reason, they see you carry that flag with the same pride as your own. Lew even Felipe Massa said that you deserve to be the one to drive that car and isn’t he like literally suing you right now?”

You finally let out a huff before the both of you erupt in a fit of giggles, Lewis forcefully pulling you back down to him to wrap you tightly in his arms.

“I didn’t know he said that, honestly rather shocking because yeah, pretty sure he is. But ya know, I heard he’s running out of money.” His lips hold a smirk as he looks down at you before you’re both consumed by another fit of giggles. “Thank you,” He whispers once you’ve both calmed down, his lips against your forehead, “I needed to hear that. You know I get too much in my own head sometimes. Still have a hard time believing that all of this is real after everything I’ve been through, where I came from, ya know?”

“I do,” You say, tilting your head up to press a soft kiss to his lips, “you’re allowed to still revel in it, even after all this time. It truly is mental, even if it’s been this way for a while now. And by the way, I’m pretty sure the only reason they would ever regret letting you drive that car is if you crash it into a wall and break it, so just don’t do that and I’m pretty sure everything will be just fine.” You giggle, giving him another kiss.

“Well damn woman, no pressure or anything.” He fakes offence before splitting into a grin with you.

“Hey,” you say, your voice softer again, “I know I’m biassed and all, but know that I can’t think of anyone more deserving of this honor and I am so incredibly proud of you. I’m not sure I’ll be able to hold back the tears when I see you in that Mclaren tomorrow. You are an incredibly blessed man but you do not take it for granted and I am honoured that I get to see how incredible you are every single day, as a driver, as a partner, but most importantly as a human. Let yourself enjoy this Lew, you deserve it and I will be there watching in awe.”

“I love you so so much.” He says, his voice thick with emotion as he pulls you impossibly closer to him.

“I love you too,” You tell him softly, placing a kiss on his chest where he has squished your face into him, “now get some sleep, you have to be up in a few hours for that stupid early morning quali.”

Lewis had left early in the morning, sneaking out of bed around 3:30 to get ready. Only waking you accidentally when he placed a soft kiss on your forehead as he was leaving. He was apologetic, telling you to go back to sleep and that he would see you at the track. Not that you were able to get much more sleep, needing to get up and get ready yourself if you wanted any chance of making it there on time. When you had finally arrived to the garage, you made sure to perch yourself in the back, trying to stay out of the way of all the busy people rushing around you.You only got to see Lewis for a brief moment, only having enough time to give him a quick kiss and send him off with a final good luck encouragement. It was pointless though, you both knew the car wasn’t going to perform to Lewis’ liking. If anything it had somehow gotten worse for this weekend.

As you sat in the garage watching on you couldn’t help but cringe. Lewis was battling with the car, not even making it out of Q1. You knew his mood wouldn’t be amazing when he finally made his way back to you after going to be weighed and speak to the media. You watched the next session, baffled by the sheer chaos unfolding and you couldn’t help but pray that the race would end up being better. The grid was out of position and red flags were being thrown left and right. You let out a sigh when you saw your man finally enter the garage, his helmet still on. He stopped momentarily to speak with some of his engineers, shaking peoples hands and thanking them for their hard work. He finally locked onto you, gesturing for you to follow him as he made his way to his drivers room. When you walked in behind him you could see how heavy his shoulders were. His helmet had been discarded on the bench beside him but he still hadn’t turned around.

“Hey, we knew it was gonna be shit, right?” You said quietly, putting your hand on his damp back.

“Yeah, we did. I’m just so ready for this season to be over.” He finally said, letting out a deep breath as he turned to face you.

“We’re so close babe, so so close. And for now we get to take a little time away from this devil of a car.” You told him, wrapping your arms around his neck as his hands found your waist. Not caring one bit that he was soggy from the rain and the sweat, just content to be with your guy.

“Still got a race to do hun.” He reminded you, kissing his teeth.

“Oh I know, but let’s not think about that right now. I was talking about you getting behind the wheel of a Mclaren MP4 for a little while instead.” You smirk, leaning up towards his now smiling face.

“A proper race car.” He says, his smile threatening to split his face.

This is what you wanted, you wanted him to revel in the joy, revel in the honor of driving such an incredible car. Enjoy being behind the wheel of a Championship winning car once again even if it was only for a few laps and unlike the cars he was used to winning in.

“A legacy meant for a hometown hero to carry on, and a race car meant for a World Champion. It’s been waiting for another great to stretch its legs and they found just the right Brazilian for the job.” You whispered to him, your faces incredibly close now.

“If you keep talking like that I might end up locking you in here.” His voice is teasing as he wraps his arms around you.

“As much as I desperately want to say yes to that, I do believe you have something to get ready for.” You sigh, pulling back and patting his chest.

“I do, but we’ll use it for motivation later, I might need it.” He says as he peels himself off of you, his voice is playful but you both know he’s dead serious.

“The second we leave this track, I am all yours for as long as you want or need.” You promise, watching as he starts to change and prepare to go meet the Mclaren mechanics that have been looking after the historical car.

You sit in a comfortable peace for a while, occasionally exchanging words about little things that don’t really matter that much, just enjoying being in his space. You know that when the day is over you will have a full debrief, all of the frustration that he’s setting aside for this moment will inevitably bubble up once he’s in the safe privacy of the two of you alone, but for now you entertain his small talk and let him start to get excited about his incredible moment as he gets himself ready. When he’s ready he turns to you with childlike excitement bubbling at the surface and you can feel your heart swell.

“This is a good look for you.” You tell him, eyeing the all white suit with the Brazilian flag at his waist.

“I’m still mad I can’t wear his actual helmet.” Lewis grumbles with a shake of his head.

“I hate to say, I actually agree with them on that one babe, let’s keep your head safe, yeah?” You laugh.

“I know I know, don’t think it would even fit on my head anyway.” He playfully groans, making his way over to you.

“I like the special helmet for this weekend though, it’s still a tribute.” You remind him, knowing he’s half joking but wanting him to be fully confident when he steps out.

He nods, taking a moment to admire you before he’s pulling you close and landing his lips on yours in a kiss that takes you by surprise with its force.

“Thank you, for everything,” He starts when he finally pulls away, his forehead resting on yours, “for reminding me that I’m allowed to revel in this, for keeping me grounded,for letting me be excited, just for everything.”

“Hey, that’s why I’m here. You do the exact same for me when I need it, it’s why we work so well.” You say quietly, your hand coming to stroke his beard gently.

“If I don’t get to see you before I get in the car, just know your words from last night are gonna be in my head the entire time. I’m gonna let myself enjoy this, let myself feel this. Nothing else about today matters other than honouring and paying tribute to my childhood hero and getting to live out my childhood dreams of driving the car that made me want to start racing around the circuit that introduced me to another home.” His voice holds excitement and certainty as he speaks that makes you want to cry and kiss him all at once.

You’ve never been quite so proud of the man in front of you. Yes, you’ve cheered for him since the beginning, before you even met him. You’ve wept when he’s broken records and won each and every championship. Yet nothing quite compares to seeing this amazing moment and knowing just how much he deserves it, knowing that there is no one better to hold this responsibility and honor. There is no one like Aryton Senna and truly there never will be, and there is no one like Lewis Hamilton and there truly never will be.

“You know you’re doing for millions what he did for you, right?” You whisper, hoping he knows just the level of inspiration he gives to everyone watching him, young and old alike.

“I know, and it’s amazing to be able to do that.” He says, his smile warm.

You don’t say another word, giving him a long kiss, feeling connected to him in a way you both need in the moment, albeit for much different reasons. You are pouring every ounce of pride and amazement into the kiss, hoping he can feel it, while he is absorbing the love and reassurance that comes with your touch, letting himself feel his greatness and humble himself all at once. Finally there is a knock at the door, signalling that he really needs to get going, causing you to part from each other reluctantly.

“Okay, I gotta go do the most amazing thing of my entire career.” He says with a smile, “Be here when I get back?”

“I can’t promise I won’t be sobbing out near the pit wall but I will definitely find you, promise.” You laugh, giving him one last kiss before he grabs his helmet and makes his way over to the media garage where the incredible car is being stored for him.

It takes you a little while to get out to the pit lane that is already lined with people. You wish you could be closer, see the car up close but this isn’t your moment. Today is for Senna's family and the people of Brazil, you are just lucky enough to be able to witness the incredible moment in person.You know Lewis is somewhere down the pitlane, most likely trying to stay calm as he geeks out over the amazing machine he is about to drive. He has driven one of Senna’s cars before, but not in a long time, and not in this setting, not with this honor and audience. You also know that no matter how many times he may have had the privilege of being around and driving incredible race cars, he is a racing driver through and through and the excitement will never change. While you’re standing there smiling to yourself, thinking about how excited Lewis must be and taking in the incredible aura of the crowd, you catch sight of the live stream playing on the jumbotron. There he is, getting in his idols car, you watch as he takes a moment to really take it in just before he’s being strapped in. It’s funny to you to see him surrounded by Mclaren mechanics again, to see the goodyear tires you remember from your first ever F1 races. Then they’re rolling him out and the crowd gets their first in person glimpse of the car over the wall and the cheers echo through your soul. It takes a few more minutes for them to be ready and the atmosphere is building with anticipation but then they start the engine. The first rumble sends a chill down your spine and silences the track. The sound of the V10 roaring to life evoked a visceral feeling from you, bringing back memories of why you fell in love with the sport as a child in the first place and you could only imagine what the emotions coursing through Lewis in that moment were. You saw him shake his head in disbelief as he revved the engine and you could just picture the boyish grin that would be covering his face at that moment. Then it cut, he stalled, and you heard the boos and wanted to run and protect him. You knew it wasn’t his fault, and realistically you knew the crowd wasn’t booing him, they were booing the disruption of the soundtrack that was the incredible V10 engine and you also knew Lewis was smart enough to know that as well. The mechanics were quick, getting the engine back up rapidly and soon enough Lewis was headed out toward the track. He took a moment, the mechanics meeting him again and you prayed that everything would go to plan, this moment was too important to everyone for anything not to be perfect. And then you saw him, speeding past you in Senna’s Mclaren down the pit straight. The spray of water adding to the moment as he waved at the fans who were evidently stunned at the spectacle in front of them. Their recently adopted hero bringing them back to a moment with their lifelong hero. You couldn’t hold back your tears as you watched him complete lap after flawless lap, handling the car like he’d been driving it for years. You could only imagine what the emotions flowing through his body must be, so incredibly grateful to be able to witness the moment. When you saw him stop to grab the flag your tears picked up, watching the beauty of the moment as he completed his dream of waving his new country's flag as he drove his idol's car with no hands around the wet track. Everything about the moment was pure poetry.

By the time he parked the car on the grid, you were sure there wasn’t a dry eye in the entirety of Sao Paulo. You watched through teary eyes as Viviane went and spoke to him as he collected himself in the cockpit. You could see her thanking him and you knew that he was thanking her just as profusely. You tried to dry your eyes as you watched them pose with Senna's helmet while Lewis sat in the car, but they came back quickly. You finally managed to pull yourself together just a little bit as you watched him pose with flag but the second he knelt down next to the car as if to thank it for everything it had done for him and his idol, you lost it again, You couldn’t help but laugh at yourself just a bit, your emotions were definitely getting the best of you. You could see the emotion on Lewis’ face as he too pulled himself together to get ready for the interview. He was beaming, eternally grateful for the opportunity. You listened as he described his love for Brazil and the love he has received from the fans, you could hear the emotion thick in his voice the entire time, even through the incredible joy that was paired with it. You knew he meant it when he said it was the ‘honor of his career’ and you were certain this would be a moment that neither of you ever forgot. Everything about it was purely beautiful, seeing everyone pause for something so meaningful, you weren’t sure you had ever seen the sport so at one in your entire life.

When you saw him finally making his way to the pit lane you scramble to try to pull yourself together, hoping to be somewhat emotionally sound when you went to meet him in his drivers room, but he found you first, a strong arm slinking around your waist before you were being crushed in a tight hug. When he finally let you go you took a moment to take him in. The emotions were written all over his face, the weight of the profound moment sinking in for him as the joy was palpable. He took in your state, his eyes softening, knowing that every emotion on your face came from your love for him and your love for the sport.

“C’mon, lets go be alone for a second.” He said softly, guiding you toward the garage.

When you were safely inside his drivers room you turned to him, your words dying on your tongue as they didn��t feel enough to express just how proud of him you were. Instead you opted to grasp his face in your hands and kiss him, hard, tears falling down your cheeks as you did. When you finally parted from him you saw that the smile had never left his face.

“I think you’re more emotional about that entire thing than I am.” He teased you softly, wiping a stray tear from your cheek.

“Stop it,” You laughed, swatting at him pathetically, “I’m just so proud of you and so happy for you. I can only imagine what that meant to you.”

“Yeah, it was surreal, never had so many emotions at once. It felt incredible, it truly felt like a dream come true.” He said as he placed his hands on your waist, pulling you toward him.

“I was right you know, there was no one more suited for that than you.” You tell him softly.

“You were absolutely right, that felt perfect, Viviane was so kind and so grateful, I will never forget this.” He sighs and you can tell the weight of the weekend is leaving his body with it.

“Nothing else that happens this weekend matters, okay? This was what it was all for.” You assure him, placing your hand on the side of his neck.

“Thank you, you’re right, that was truly the only reason I am here this weekend, none of the rest matters in the slightest.” His eyes are soft as he melts into your touch.

“I know you said you wanted to be Senna or Superman but I think you may have achieved both just now. You are more than a hero to just about everyone here, me included.” You tell him softly, staring deep into his eyes as you do.

“That means a lot, I felt it while I was out there. It was a crazy feeling, getting to be that for everyone.” He says earnestly.

“You do it way more frequently than you think, even if you haven’t been feeling it lately.” You assure him, wanting him to know just how much you mean it.

He doesn’t respond but you can tell he’s just taking it in as he lets out a breath and traces circles on your hip. He’s a confident man, cocky at times, but even the strongest of soldiers can be weak in the face of defeat.

“I know you are a natural born competitor, but let's make a deal that your only objective today is just to come back to me in one piece. That’s all I ask of you.” You say after a moment, listening to the rain pickup against the roof.

“I will absolutely come back to you, but I ain’t making any promise about not also trying to pull that tractor as far forward as I can.” He laughs, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“Okay fair enough, just need you in tiptop shape to be my superman when we get back to the hotel tonight.” You smirk, pinching his bicep.

“Well when you put it like that why don’t we just leave on a high note and head back right now?” He asks playfully, pulling you closer to him.

“I’m down, but you’ve gotta go keep being both Senna and Superman.” You giggle.

“Okay, I’ll do my best, but I’m still holding you to that even if this race is shit.” He says, pinching your bum.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

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paborachaslvt · 1 month ago

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DominATE Seattle

I saw skz last night 🥹 it was the best concert I’ve ever been to and I had so much fun, definitely a core memory for me.

Waking up I feel, lost now? Idk, like my heart hurts bc I have to continue with my normal life and I don’t get to go with them to the next show. I’m 27 for fucks sake and I’ve been to a lot of concerts and I know what post concert depression is lol, but this feels different? I can’t keep it together, I start crying when I’m alone when I think about it and it makes me feel pathetic… like I got a whole ass partner at home! But I just, idk it feels weird like my heart aches and the tears won’t stop. At first I thought I wanted to read some angst and cry more but now idk if I want fluff or not?!

Tbh I never considered myself a STAY, bc of all the toxic shit you see online and ugly people. But my friend told me on the way back:

“No, you’re definitely a STAY in the way you care about the boys. You genuinely care for them and want them to be happy and healthy makes you a STAY. Those other people are not true fans, you are.”

Trying not to full on sob as I type this. I know there are other amazing STAY, I’ve gotten the pleasure to actually meet and talk with them through this app alone.

I’m just an emotional wreck and idk if anyone else feels like this too? Especially after seeing Chris? That man truly is angel and I just stopped and stared at him and I couldn’t breath and my heart caught in my chest going a million miles an hour. It was like seeing myself in him but better? Just turned into a puddle and wanted to let out an involuntary whimper at the sight of him. I think I’m crazy. Never had a reaction like that before and I hate myself for it.

Wow, this was long, so sorry 😅 this was supposed to be a “send me some recommendations based on my current mental stability”, and turned into me yapping.

If anyone has read this far, thank you. I love and appreciate your time and you as a person🫰🏻 If you have any recommendations, I would love to read them, thank you.

-Meg

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alexiroflife · 10 months ago

Note

fic authors self rec! ♡ when you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. let’s spread the self-love ♡

OOO FUN OKAY- I'll do it in order from lowest favorite (5) to top favorite (1) & explain why because i'm extra and i will yap about writing at the drop of a hat

"a bird's song" gojo x reader: literally bc i had that idea in my mind for a while and it hurt me so good to write. i have an emotional connection to this one, and i really loved writing about gojo in more depth here than i have for other fics. i think it helped build onto the angst of the story. i can't give a better explanation other than i fucking love this one

"my duty to you" toji x reader: I WAS SO EXCITED TO WRITE THIS bro omg i just love the bodyguard x royalty trope, and to fit toji into it as someone with a difficult upbringing combining worlds w/ someone so different from him was just so fun to write about. i also love the development of the relationship in this.

jjk men reactions to sh: this one is especially important to me because it healed a part of me i didn't know i needed to address. it's hard writing about things that you have experienced, but its also so freeing and heartwarming to see how connected we can all become in a space because people feel seen and safe reading. very hard to get through, but so worth it in the end

"tears" sukuna x reader: this one was hard, bc i love my sukuna fics bad, but i think i like this one sm because of how i got to explore sukuna's behavior for it. the way he is still harsh, but tries to manuever himself around it and doesn't know how to handle your tears UGH kills me, and in general i really like writing for sukuna. i think its a fun challenge when it comes to him romantically

"five more minutes" choso x reader: dude, idk what it is (maybe because the college au has a grip on me bc im in college), but i just really like the character of choso i wrote in a modern setting. i also loved writing the awkward tension between him and the ready stemmed by mutual attraction. it's short and simple but i think it's sweet :)

thank you for passing this on!! :)

#jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jjk fandom #jjk fanfic #anime #jjk #jjk season 2 #jjk x you

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lydiasfalling · 6 months ago

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LOVER

percy jackson x aphrodite!reader

➸✧˖*°࿐ taglist : open!

˗ˋˏ warnings : fluff, some angst ˎˊ-

‧₊˚✧ lydia’s yap fest ! ✧˚₊‧

another post bc writing these are so fun. feel free to send recs! i’m happy to write stories to y’all’s wants. notes & reblogs are greatly appreciated. have a wonderful rest of your day !! ♡

percy was upset. you don’t know how or why, but something was just off. as you two sat on the beach together, you could see his body tense as he fiddled with his fingers. neither of you has spoken since you sat down on the sand, and it was really started to bother you.

“how was training?” you asked, hoping to break the silence somehow. this didn’t work, considering percy just raised his shoulders in a shrug before dropping them again. no words shared. “so . . . the silent treatment? what’s your problem?” you were getting fed up.

“nothing. i have shit to do. talk to you later.” percy started to get up, wiping the sand off his clothes.

you looked at him, confused as to why he was so eager to get away from you. you got up, following after him. “why are you acting like this? what’s going on?” you wrapped your hand around his wrist, pulling him to a stop.

“dude. nothings wrong.” percy looked at you bored, crossing his arms over his chest.

you scoffed, “dude? since when am i ‘dude’?” you were upset now.

“i don’t know. go ask conner.” he rolled his eyes in your direction.

“conner? from ares? why would i talk to him?” the confusion returned to your features.

“you two were together all day. seemed like you guys are close.” percy gave you a pointed look

“is that a joke?” you asked. if his anger was directed towards conner for you two talking, he was so insanely mistaken.

it was now perry turn to scoff. he found your oblivion quite frustrating. “gods, are you kidding? he’s such a flirt. he was giving you the eyes all day.”

“percy, no. you’ve got it all wrong.” your shoulders slacked, all the tension leaving your body as you realized the problem.

“really? enlighten me then.” percy kept his face hard, not letting any sort of emotion seep through the cracks.

you walked closer to him, “absolutely nothing is going on with conner. conner is dating my sister, juliette. he needed help planning their date for their two year anniversary. that’s why we were talking today.”

percy’s jaw went slack at this information. he couldn’t help the pink hue that overtook his face due to the embarrassment. his hand moved to rub the back of his neck. “well, shit.” he spoke.

“you’re dumb, percy jackson. i wouldn’t allow someone else to flirt with me. my heart is one-hundred percent yours. i haven’t even thought of anyone else since i met you.”

“i’m sorry, baby. i’m trying to work on the jealousy. t’s hard when you’re as beloved as you are. everyone wants you.” percy sighed, moving a hand to your waist and pulling you into him.

“i have everything i could ever ask for, percy. you’re all i need.” you wrapped your arms around his neck, embracing him.

“m’ sorry, sweet girl. won’t happen again.” he stayed wrapped in your arms for a moment, eventually pulling you back towards the beach so you two could watch the sunset. hues of pink and orange swirled in the sky, comforting the both of you as the sun said farewell.

taglist : @dancingwithourhandsuntied @laufeysvalentine

my masterlist

#lydiasfalling #percy pjo #percy jackson x reader #percy jackson fluff #i love percy jackson #pjo #pjo fandom

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mvrdermeharder · 4 months ago

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Anyone who says that kaisagi doesn’t make any sense and there’s no romantic chemistry is just saying shit at this point… like cmon are we reading the same manga?? Is your reading comprehension in the room with us?

Don’t get me wrong, it’s absolutely fine if you dislike/hate the ship bc it’s not to your tastes, or if you’re just not a shipper in general, i’m not talking about that…

I’m talking abt the ppl who refuse to acknowledge the FACT that their dynamics have a lot of homoerotic undertones, and keep yapping about how they clearly hate each other (very true) and that’s all there is between them (not true).

Like cmon, Isagi has been considering Kaiser his ideal ever since the first nel game, it’s hate mixed with admiration, respect and desire (for his skills). The desire to “be alike”, the desire to “be chased”, the desire to “destroy him”. All of these feelings are prevalent in competitive sports AND when it comes to crushes/romance/sexual desires.

And i’ll say it again: IT’S FINE if you don’t ship it!! It’s fine if you interpret their relationship solely in a “they’re just rivals” way!

But it’s such bullshit to act like there is absolutely no romantic subtext. It’s such bullshit to outright DENY IT.

Oh and don’t even get me started on Kaiser: he’s literally positioning himself to “be chased” when he first meets Isagi, gets totally obsessed with the need to crush him to the point where he literally abandons all rationality and other thoughts to his own detriment (unhealthy obsession at its finest), then realizes that playing against Isagi makes him better, makes him evolve, and playing WITH Isagi is… fun????

Like,, hello??? That is fucking huge??

We’re talking abt a guy who thought that he’s incapable of feeling joy except for when he’s tearing others down (past), and a guy who is wallowing in self hate and has no sense of self worth aside from when he’s scoring goals (present). So for him to feel joy just because he’s playing by Yoichi’s side and to OUTRIGHT ADMIT IT is fucking crazy.

And admitting it is very very important for his character: especially bc i don’t think it’s true that he’s incapable of feeling brief moments of happiness. He’s just not aware of how his own intentions of manipulating Ness had been mixed with the inevitable genuine feelings that spending so much time with someone does to you… cue the first and ONLY time we see his (imo) genuine smile (shower scene w ness).

And getting back on track. The incredible angst that is the recent two chapters… Kaiser breaking down bc he thinks that feeling joy/being affirmed as a human by Yoichi’s side is what made him lose at the end… if that isn’t some “love makes you weaker” ass villain shit then idk what is. (And anyways, he didn’t lose bc he allowed himself to feel good for once, like ffs Kaiser, babe, you lost bc of your constant mistakes when it came to understanding Ness)

And the sus dialogue isn’t there just for shits and giggles either, the mangaka is intentionally and deliberately making use of this language because he’s aware of the homoerotic subtext when it comes to sports manga AND sports in general. The sus dialogue is the author being self aware, regarding the tropes he writes, regarding how similar the power struggles are between competitive sports and sexual relationships. He’s pointing it out and making fun of it with all the ridiculous and downright outrageously gay bllk lines.

And yes, i will reiterate for the third time: it’s okay if you only want to focus on the kaisagi rivalry from a non-homoerotic standpoint. It’s okay if you’re not a fan of the romantic interpretation. It’s okay if the ship isn’t up your alley. IT’S OKAY TO HAVE PERSONAL TASTE.

But ffs don’t even try to argue that the shippers are delusional, bc the material for the ship is RIGHT FUCKING THERE.

CANONICALLY.

Oh and don’t even get me started on all the PARALLELS. Nuh uh, i’d be here for days if i were to yap about all of their contrasts and parallels (visually, in their storylines, regarding personality and psychology, etc etc), all of which that make their dynamics so fucking peak.

And with that, thanks for coming to my ted talk<3

#AAaA bUt tHey hatE eAcH otHer theY cAn’t bE iNloVe #bro.#have u seriously never heard of hate-fucking??#smh yall are either too young/homophobic/vanilla #lmfao #isagi yoichi #michael kaiser #kaisagi #isakai #kiis #iski #bllk #blue lock

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callofloony · 2 months ago

Note

HIIII OMD I LOVE YOUR WRITING (it brings me a world of comfort). I hope your doing well and I'm here to ask if you are willing to do like a father figure price to reader bc the reader is like rlly young. Wait lemme explain. The reader wears a mask bc they know how young they look and on a mission the mask gets ripped off and they all see reader's face (Looks way younger than gaz). Then after that price does subconsciously starts being all fatherly to reader and they just full in melt bc of it. The rest of the 141 can oso join in with fatherly or brotherly love. NOT FORCING OR ANYTHING. Anwy can see I love yapping and if your uncomfy with this I'm not forcing just ignore it<3, that's all (ignore any spelling mistakes I suck ass in grammar) take care. Byeeee!!!<3333

Kid. (Price)

—————

Tags: MW Reboot Price, fatherly Price, no use of “you” or “y/n” but can be read as self-insert, gender neutral character, use of “they”, fluff, slight mentions of neglect, slight angst, definitely inaccurate military jargon, leg and face injury, slight medical inaccuracies, touch starved reader, reader and price are desperate for love in different ways, idk the word count but it’s long, not proof read forgive me

A/N: (i’m a minor, nsfw and 18+ blogs will be blocked) DUDE THIS IS SO FUCKING CUTTEEE WDYM 😭😭😭 YAH OFC I CAN DO THIS!! Sorry if im responding rlly late im a dummy who forgets?? People actually like my stuff???? and i don’t think tumblr dates when asks r sent LMFAOAOAO. I kinda did something different than what you said but i hope the premise is similar enough! Masked reader who has to remove said mask is always fun <33 I LOVE FATHERLY PRICE!!!

~Writing under the cut~

—————

They were well aware of what usually happened when their mask was off. “You look so young.” “Are you sure you’re old enough to be here?” And other sentences people had for them. It used to be patronizing, they worked hard to get this far… But now it was just second nature. “I know.” “I’m here for a reason.” Was usually what they responded with. Luckily, that seemed to let up a little once they joined TF141.

They were still teased, but it was for different things this time. Like how Ghost’s style had been copy pasted onto someone new, how the mask made them look like they were trying to be tougher than they were, their aim…

Now it just felt like mates being mates, it was very unserious. They actually enjoyed it since their team weren’t being deliberately mean-spirited or questioning their abilities. Because they deserved to be here, damn it!

Their life hadn’t been great up until their enlistment, it’s part of why they wore the mask. To shield their vulnerability. Partly because the vulnerability made them look even younger, and partly because the mask hid how dearly they craved affection.

Absent parents combined with not connecting well with people their age culminated in often being alone most of their life, and while it was easy to deal with then, it’s a little harder now because of the family they’d been accepted into. Their team.

3 brotherly figures, Ghost, Gaz, and Soap.

Ghost was often the no-nonsense type until he got the chance to crack jokes and take the piss, then it was free game. They didn’t know much about Ghost, but they were close enough with him to lay down each other’s lives for the other if need be, and that was enough.

Gaz was similar in that bullshit was off limits for him unless he had the chance to take the piss, teasing his captain and fellow sergeants frequently, and even finding moments to fuck with Ghost, but even then he was slightly more serious than Ghost was. He didn’t like to crack jokes in serious moments, which is understandable given his previous position. Though, the chaos he had at his side to be unsheathed when needed made up for it.

Then there was Soap, the man, the myth, the legend. He got off to pushing his superiors to their limits and questioning their orders into oblivion, yet being as loyal as a dog when it came to carrying out mission plans. He was the demolition expert with a knack for making bombs from nothing, a stereotypical love for his country, and probably the most obviously empathetic of the three.

They were an odd bunch, but they definitely carried a lot of love for the new addition of their team, giving guidance and advice and even accepting some advice of their own.

Then there was Price. The one who’d brought everyone together. He loved his team with a fierceness only a father could, and damn it, it definitely felt like it.

He always seemed to have an air about him that just told you he was a good protector (I mean… Quite obviously, he was in the military.), but a protector in a different way.

Anytime he interacted with kids during missions, he was great at keeping them safe and calm. He knew how to distract them from the horrors warfare brought, and damn it… Part of them wished they could have that too.

There were moments, the occasional dad joke or a softness in his voice that was undetectable to a normal person. But it was noticeable to them, and every time it was a fight to keep themself from showing just how dearly they needed it.

Often times they just swept it under the rug. He spoke to everyone like that, it was just to keep things calm when everyone was tense and angry. It didn’t mean anything.

Then it all came ahead in this moment.

—————

“What’s your status?!” Price’s voice was shaky and slightly frantic over the radio, calling out to them after the accident. The mission had gone off the rails, leaving everyone scattered and at least slightly injured. Everyone had regrouped, apart from them.

They were lying against a crate, putting pressure against a wound on their cheek and leg after narrowly avoiding being knifed. Unfortunately, they didn’t dodge the bullet headed towards their leg. The knife had sliced their mask, causing blistering pain and ruining their cover. They huffed, collecting themselves before they responded, sounding angry and hesitant as they adjusted themself.

“Alive, but I can’t walk right. Bullet to the shin. I’m near the Northeastern portion of the warehouse, enemies are scattered everywhere, try to keep quiet.” Price’s heart ached a little at their clearly off tone, they sounded pained, and pissed, and even a little nervous. Who wouldn’t be in their position?

“…Copy, we’ll find you. Try to stop the bleeding.”

That was the last thing Price said before things went dark and they were alone, pulling out some gauze and cotton pads to stuff the wound and try to stop the bleeding for now. It was painful, but it kept them alive.

It’d been about an hour after they were found and 141 was able to complete their objective, hesitantly patching their wounds and assessing each other until they could get proper care. The brunt of the injuries had gone to our masked figure, stubbornly fixing themselves up in the evac. Price wasn’t having it though.

“Get over here, y’can’t stabilize that on yer own…” He moved to approach them, causing them to shoot a slightly stubborn and annoyed gaze before wincing slightly, biting their lip to keep from groaning in pain.

“…’M alright, Cap. I stopped the bleeding, and that’s all we need for now.” They shook their head as they leaned against the wall, causing Price to huff and cross his arms.

“It’s not gonna hold up for the 5 hour trip, gimmie yer leg.” Price spoke a bit more firmly this time, and they could feel the need to be cared for begin to rear it’s ugly head again, so to hide it they continued to argue.

“Captain—“ But they were cut off.

“Kid…” Price didn’t realize what he’d said until it slipped out, and he could immediately see the way their eyes flickered in response. Their breath hitched at the warning, like how a father would speak to his kid…

Finally, after freezing up for a moment they relented. The two were silent as Price worked, but both were freaking out for different reasons. Price had used “son” on Ghost, Soap, and Gaz before, but this felt different, more deliberate, and he didn’t understand why.

Meanwhile, they were still hung up on the fact that Price had called them that in the first place. They noticed it too, like this had been firmer and a little more hesitant then when Price called the others similar things. Like he meant it more, and it was frying their brain.

After about an hour, Price was a little more confident that the wraps would hold up. Now he’d decided to burry those previous feelings for later, up until he noticed the tear and the blood stain in their mask, and a surge of protection returned. He seemed just a little more nervous and worried as he gestured to that specific injury, he’d have to remove the mask to help, and they’d never been seen without it before.

Their eyes flickered up to Price again, still having conflicting emotions over being called kid in such a way, but for some reason… They felt more willing now, and they nodded softly. They just hoped no comments would be made at their complexion.

Price was surprised when they allowed him to reach for them, but he wasn’t going to complain at the trust given, simply nodded softly as he gently pulled away the mask. Oh… That’s why.

They definitely looked young, way too young to be here despite what their multiple legal documents stated. Large eyes, smallish lips, minimal skin blemishes, a small nose, full cheeks… They looked like a fucking teenager. No wonder why Price had been so desperate to protect them.

They noticed his look and averted their gaze, their breath hitching slightly, especially at how much more gently Price was handling them now. Normally they didn’t like being treated as fragile, they were strong and capable. But they’d let it slide this once, they were injured after all.

It took far less time to patch their cheek than their leg, but it probably would’ve taken even less if Price didn’t seem so hesitant. Like he was worried he’d break them more. Why did this feel good? They should be mad at him for treating them like glass! But, they weren’t… And that scared them.

Price eventually pulled back with a soft sigh, quietly moving to sit next to them as they averted their gaze again, looking slightly embarrassed at their behavior. But Price didn’t mind weirdly… And that scared him.

“…Y’Should rest.” His voice was soft, an air of protectiveness lacing his tone, making them want to shiver. This was their captain, they were capable and able to tale care of themselves, they shouldn’t want to be protected by him more.

“…Not tired.” They rushed out their words to keep from melting, and it only made Price huff again before wrapping an arm around them, causing them to jolt slightly before they were pulled against his shoulder.

“That’s an order.” He looked towards Nik with a sigh, trying to judge how much longer the trip would be. Not because he wanted it to be over soon, like he normally did… But because he wanted to relish in this moment for as long as possible. He didn’t understand it.

They hesitated for a moment before they finally leaned into his touch, allowing themselves this moment of peace and sanctuary despite how inappropriate it might look to anyone outside of 141. They justified it as Price just being physically close with his team, which he was. It didn’t mean anything.

Yeah, it meant nothing.

————

It’d been a few days since that incident, and they were on bedrest recovering. Everyone’s presence and care was a comfort to them, but Price just being there made them want to melt all the damn time.

They’d felt a bit attached to Price before, but they figured it would fade with time and they’d fall into a pretty standard military relationship. Work, and work only. Now that attachment was growing, and they didn’t know what to do about it.

There was a growing tension between the two, an elephant in the room neither wanted to acknowledge in fear of disrupting the status quo, and it was causing distance. Price used to visit them more frequently than this, but now he was only there with someone else in the room, like he was frightened of himself when they were alone.

He couldn’t take the feeling that made his heart swell, this protective urge he felt every time they looked into their soft eyes. It reminded him of finding stray children who’d lost their parents amidst enemy bullets and bombs, the ones who’d sob and cling to him until they passed out in his arms.

That was probably the hardest part of his job, and now it was following him.

Eventually, he couldn’t avoid visiting on his own any longer after being forced to do so by the rest of his team. They’d known something was up between the two for a while, they just hadn’t said anything.

Their masked comrade sat up with a hesitant look as Price awkwardly approached them for the first time in a while, looking tense, like he was trying to keep himself from shaking. They both were

“…How’re you feelin’?” His voice was soft with that same sense of nervousness and protection he’d had before, quietly scanning them for discomfort. Great, now he wouldn’t be able to be ripped from their side, even if the others tried.

They looked at him with an almost small gaze, making them look even younger, and it made his instincts flare up again. This kid was gonna be the death of him…

“…Feelin’ better.” They didn’t say much else, their fingers twitching as they tried to hide their desire to he held like that again. It’d be inappropriate to initiate and inappropriate to ask for, they didn’t want to ruin this moment.

“…H-Haven’t seen you in a while.” Their voice was a little softer than before as they looked away, making Price’s heart ache again. He wanted to ask them not to look away, to come back to him, but that was unprofessional.

“I’m sorry, it’s been… Hard. We’re still tryin’ to fix that botch job. Been difficult without your help…” The subtle praise didn’t go unnoticed by them, and it caused them to tense up again, their breathing a little shakier than before as they tried not to melt.

“…I’ll be outta bed rest soon, then I can get back to diplomacy at least. Where are we at now?” They looked back, causing a flicker of relief and affection to flow through Price’s body.

“Found our targets next hiding spot, we’re off the moment we get clearance. They’re worried about our performance after how that last round went.” He sounded slightly frustrated even though it hadn’t been his fault, like he blamed himself for letting them be hurt.

“We’re the best of the best, why else would you have gotten funding in the first place?” They smiled softly at him, causing his heart to flutter a little. He smiled back, speaking without thinking.

“…Thank you, sweetheart.” He flinched immediately after, his lip quivering as his eyes widened. Damn it, this is exactly what he’d been afraid of. He watched as they also flinched, frozen in terror as he waited on their response.

But instead of being upset and kicking him out like he expected them to, he was taken aback when they melted instead, full on slumping down with a shaky sigh, looking like they’re about to cry from relief.

It caught him off guard, especially when they looked embarrassed after, covering their face and shaking their head. Their craving was so obvious now, and it made him melt as well.

“…Kid?” His words were soft and hesitant, a comforting gaze as he tested “kid” again, the thing that started this whole mess. He watched as they melted, shaking their head before they finally responded.

“Wish you’d stop sometimes…” They sounded on the verge of breaking down, which immediately made Price’s heart swell as he instinctively reached out again, just like last time.

“…Talk to me.” His gaze and voice were firm, no room for arguing or denying him in the face of this issue. He was tired of avoiding this now, they needed to be on the same page or their relationship would crumble.

They flinched a little as their gaze was pulled to him again, hesitating for a moment as they held back tears before they shook their head, attempting to pull away.

“…S’Embarrassing,” They uttered, the fear of judgement crawling up their skin at how clear their desperation now was. They felt exposed… They should’ve denied him the first time. They weren’t supposed to need love from anyone, let alone their captain.

Price shook his head and gently grabbed them again, gently gesturing for them to come closer. He wanted to provide that love, and he’d be damned if they kept denying themself.

“I know embarrassing, love. Please, talk to me…” His voice was soft and gentle, like how a father would. It broke him that they were so insistent on being strong, even if it was clear they needed someone to put them back together sometimes.

They winced a little at his tone, melting into his touch again as they lost their resistance, shivering just a little. They’d never been so desperate for something before, and it was terrifying. But they couldn’t refuse an order…

“You’re… The closest thing to a father I’ve ever had before, and I don’t know what to do with that.” They spoke with a slight bitterness on their tongue, but not towards Price, towards themself. This shouldn’t feel as good as it does.

Price’s face softened, his concern making them wince again before they continued, shaking their head and keeping their gaze averted.

“…It’s completely unprofessional, and I don’t want to disrupt anything, I just…” They couldn’t continue as Price shook his head, his gaze pained as he pulled them close, making them flinch.

He was hugging them, but it wasn’t like before. This was a real, tight, protective, fatherly hold, like he wanted to cradle them and pull a wool blanket over their eyes, to keep them from the horrors the world had. He’d always been protective of his team, but this was different. This was intense.

“Oh, baby…” This was too much. They were very desperate not to get attached, but now Price was absolutely destroying them. They didn’t realize how badly they’d needed fatherly comfort until now, and it was making the tears in their eyes spill.

“…Y’Mean so much to me, luv. Don’t even realize how much I needed ta’ hear you say that.” In the spirit of making sure they didn’t deny themself the affection they needed, he wasn’t gonna deny himself the ability to provide it. He’d been so scared of losing them if he exposed just how deeply he cared, but now he knew they felt the same, and it was ruining his resolve.

They went limp in his grip as he trembled, their breathing shaky as they hugged back desperately, the craving for love was intense at this point, and they refused to make him let go just yet.

No wonder they’d felt so intensely towards each other, it’d been a combined need for familial connection on top of the nerves of losing one another, and that was devastating to them.

Both of their masks were off now, leaving them vulnerable and susceptible to tears… But they didn’t care, they just needed to indulge in the affection they both feared they wouldn’t get to provide.

“Y-You…” They were cut off as Price shook his head, tightening his grip. He wanted them to rest, to recover in his arms. He needed to know they’d be okay and protected. He would accept nothing less.

“No, baby, no…” He pressed a gentle kiss to the top of their head. Maybe that was crossing the line between professional military relationship and fraternizing, but what the hell, lines had been crossed already. No one was there to judge.

They melted again in his arms as they nodded, their breathing beginning to slow as their body finally relaxed. They hadn’t been held like this in so long…

“…Don’ worry, you’re the closest thing I’ve had to a kid of my own.” Price had always wanted kids, but now that he was up in age and still in the military, there was a slim chance of him ever getting the chance to do so. They melted again at that statement and melted again, sniffling to try and keep their tears at bay, but they were failing miserably.

Price loved this kid as his own, and he wanted to protect them no matter what.

Slowly in his grip, their eyes begin to flutter shut at the coddling, their breathing beginning to soften as they rested their head on his chest, feeling his hand run through their hair as they shuttered softly, falling into the deepest sleep they ever had before.

Price huffed softly in a laugh, his smile wide but his eyes soft and loving. He sat down and pull them into his lap, closing his eyes and leaning over them to keep them as close as possible.

“…A’ve got ya, kid. Yer mine, ‘n ‘m not lettin’ anyone hurt you again.”

—————

A/N: I LOST A LITTLE MOTIVATION NEAR THE END BC I DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO END IT :(( I HOPE IT’S GOOD FOOD THO! THANKS AGAIN FOR THE ASK AND FOR THE LOVE <33333 wrote this between classes so forgive me for grammar mistakes

#adoption is a lil too late for these two #but yknow #adoption in spirit!!!!#cod #call of duty #cod mw2 #cod mwii #call of duty mw2 #mw2 #mw2 2022 #cod price #john price #captain john price #captain price #captain price and reader #fatherly captain price

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