#because it is genuinely an issue when it comes to my desire to get out and do things 😭

[marshmellowtea]

i know for a fact that i'd feel less hopeless if i started getting involved in local politics and felt like i was actually zoning in my focus on specific issues i can tangibly help with in the real world it's just. hard knowing where to start. and even if i did know where to start that's also kind of a moot point when i can't drive and thus can't get places easily ^^;

[holeforzenin]

Tw- STEPCEST, Toji refers himself as DAD. Not proofread

Stepdad Toji patting his lap, wordlessly signaling you to come and sit on it from across the room. You waste no time settling yourself onto his large thighs, your skirt riding up to your upper thighs and exposing a lot more skin than you would be comfortable with.

But his hands find your hips almost instantly and he lifts you and shifts you higher up his crotch— directly ontop his growing bulge before nonchalantly resuming his attention back on the TV as if it's nothing.

And whenever you’d try to get up, telling him it’s time for you to go do your homework, he’s possessively wrapping his beefy arm tighter around your waist to bring you closer against his broad chest, hand roaming your bare thighs while pressing his face into the crook of your neck, inhaling deeply and telling you “Going so soon sweetheart? Don't you want to sit more with me.”

You whined under his grasp, the tension making your body heat up as his growing erection digs into your warm core, It’s as if his cock has a mind of its own, seeking warmth from your clothed cunt.

You never meant to be this “close” with Toji but it's genuinely as if he casted a spell on you or something because you're always seemingly obeying and doing whatever he says like some puppet. You assume it must be the fact that he's well aware of your daddy issues and using it to his advantage.

His hand snakes its way up to your thighs again, this time under the hem of your skirt, his rough fingers grazing the soft skin there.

You bit your lips, torn between the need to focus on your studies and the sheer desire to stay right where you are, perched on his lap like some fucking temptress because you already know he's gonna call you a brat if you don't listen but it’s your homework so he's going to have to understand right?

“Sorry Toji, I really should go do my homework,” you pleaded, your voice cracking slightly because of how nervous the situation made you.

He chuckled, the deep sound vibrating through his big chest and into your body. “Homework can wait, sweetheart. Don't you wanna spend some time with your old man?.” there's no way he couldn't feel the immediate throbbing of your cunt on top of his cock when he said that. “I’m not getting any younger as the days go by, ya know.”

His free hand tilted your chin upwards, forcing your gaze to meet his. A taunting smirk played on his lips with a mischievous glint in his eyes. He knew exactly the effect he had on you and now he's taking advantage of you for it.

He adjusts his hold on you, moving you slightly on top of him and leaning back against the soft couch and pulling you along with him until you’re straddling him. His erection is pressed right at the entrance of your leaking cunt through the fabric of your panties and you're 100% sure that there's a wet stain forming on his crotch.

You let out a soft grasp, your hands instinctively gripping his massive shoulders.

“See, much better,” he rumbled, his breath fanning across your collarbone, making you shiver. “Just stay here and enjoy the movie with me and Dad will help you with your homework later, yeah?”.

He's definitely not helping you with your homework, Lmao.

[takes1]

Been thinking about Kyotani stealing Oikawa’s ex girlfriend after Oikawa is being an egotistical douche

are we interlinked or something? what the fffffuck i had this idea in the shower two days before this request came in? i'm trippin

accidentally falling for kyoutani (maddog)

warnings. nsfw to follow, minors DNI

details. fem!reader / angsty, smutty / jealous!oikawa / possessive!maddog / loneliness theme / pervy!maddog / light?coercion / popular x loser trope / 1.4k words / reply to be added for smutty part two.

links. my masterlist. more haikyuu. my ao3. requests open part two here.

It was the first time you had seen Tooru since he ditched you.

Three days, compared to one year of dating, wasn't enough for you to be ready to see his pretty face, his perfect hair, to hear his laugh ringing off the buildings outside, down the corridor.

You weren't wearing any make up, you had opted for your loose uniform sweater, and chose the ugliest, comfiest shoes possible this morning when you rolled out of bed. The desire to become invisible was fiction to start and fading regardless.

He would have to see how far you had fallen, if you didn't come up with an idea right away.

The Perfect Opportunity sat to your left, by himself, as usual. He was reading a book, an arm relaxed over open spot next to him.

Kyoutani was a bomb that needed to be handled carefully -- everybody knew that. This time you had to risk it.

You slid into that spot, right under his arm, faked the most genuine giggle you possibly could, pulled his hand in yours and leaned onto his chest to 'read' with him.

Your ex's reaction would have to remain a mystery, because you didn't look away from Kyoutani, in an effort to make this look truly genuine.

When you figured he was gone, completely out of earshot, you glanced away to watch his little group disappear around the corner.

"What are you doing."

You thought you'd be prepared for whatever -inevitably- negative reaction Kyoutani threw at you. But his interrogative tone alone was enough for you to jerk your hand back into the safety of your own lap.

Then the unhinged stare, a step under something you might find on a wild hyena, sent enough adrenaline through you to scoot away.

"I'm--," You swallowed your voice crack down, heat all over the back of your neck, "It's not personal. Promise."

You weren't faultless. It was a form of bullying.

After going to enough of those games, you judged him, too. Dating Tooru had been the pinnacle of social immunity as far as your class structure went.

In fact, dating that boy made you into a worse person. But his attention? It was a drug. And you felt like an addict, coming down, burning bridges to get back to that feeling again.

This bridge though- you didn't care much about it. Kyoutani was one of those guys you didn't spare your breath on; he was weird, and alone, and everybody shared a mutual understanding to not test him. Pointing it out or making fun of him was useless. A little dangerous, too.

His fury was all over his face. You lit the fuse, and now he was tick, tick, ticking if you didn't tread lightly.

"Then get the fuck off of me."

Even though Tooru ranted plenty of times about his anger issues, his explosive habits, and frustrating team-destroying temperament, you were still not expecting him to be so mean. Lonely people were usually nice to pretty girls, at least.

You tried to explain the whole break-up in as few words as you could, but realized part of the way through that he was the first person you told, so you naturally started rambling about how sad you were. Most of your friends sided with Oikawa, so you dumped it all on this stranger in a slew of emotional rationale and stutter-y, half-correct memory. It was a natural loss of inhibition, being this profoundly sad.

He rolled his deep-set eyes with a groan that almost made you scoff. He stood up to leave you by yourself, not even wanting to share the bench at a distance. You had nobody else to sit with. Nobody to talk to.

"Sounds like the dumbest shit I've ever heard."

You clutched your uniform, spiraling, emptier than ever. It was staggering how much worse you could possibly feel, even after the shock wore off.

A desperate, thankfully quiet, tone left your mouth: "Please."

Kyoutani stood over you, bag in his clenched fist, searching. You were broken, and needy; a far cry from your bitchy, entitled snickering he caught countless times from across the gym, or class. He liked this new groveling-look on you. It fit surprisingly well. It made him feel big.

"Please help me."

He shoved a hand in his pocket, head cocked at your begging.

Prissy-Little-Miss-Oikawa, now widowed, all alone? The thought was enough to make a degenerate like him hesitate.

A grumbly, 'disinterested' question, "'nd what's in it for me?"

Just entertaining the idea had you looking up at him with those big, glossy eyes. Tears looked so good with your natural complexion.

"Anything- I'll literally do anything--," You wiped the stubborn tears from your eyes before they could fall and stood with a sniffle, "Whatever, as long as it makes him jealous."

-

The bench became your 'spot' during breaks. Being in Kyoutani's class was helpful, because you were never really separated. Tooru came around for the first few days, on his usual stroll with his giant group of friends, but started to become unreliable once he spotted who you were there for.

Today you caught the last of his double-take. It was perfect. The longing in his eyes, the slack in his jaw as he finally saw your body cuddling up to his least-favorite person in the world. You were lost in the implication for a good, quiet minute.

"Ow-!" You wrenched your hand back from a hydraulic-press-like squeeze.

It throbbed, as you rubbed it.

"He's gone." He spat.

That was true, Tooru was well and far away by now. You cleared your throat and got off of him, adjusting your uniform, as you put enough 'normal' distance between you again.

"There's no need to be so rough-," You squeezed and splayed your aching fingers a few times with a huff.

Kyoutani relaxed on the back of the bench, chin tilted up, but staring at the curve in your spine, how you sat on the edge.

He mumbled and watched you fix your hair, "What? You not into that?"

"No," You spat, arms crossed, defensive at his weird tone.

If anything, you liked when he was more reserved. Quiet. He couldn't freak you out if he didn't speak.

He caught onto your little maneuver and decided to remind you, for the third time today, that you made a pretty embarrassing deal with him. You were no longer a Queen. Just a pawn, like him.

Now, under the current conversation, you pieced together his suggestion. "You said anything, didn't ya?"

"Oh my gosh!" You were warm, caught off-guard by his dirty intentions all out in the open. You twisted to look at him, but he was just checking you out. It looked like he was proud of making you blush, too. You went to scold him, but turned to face forward and bit it back with a sigh.

"What's wrong, Princess?" He teased, "Old Tooru wasn't givin' it to ya right?"

Your hand clasped over your mouth, the other gripped the hem of your skirt. He loved when you got all quiet, like that- now he was voluntarily putting his heavy arm around your shoulders, his thumb rubbing against the outline of your bra strap.

His face was close to your own. You struggled to meet his eyes, but managed.

"You're lonely, aren't you? That's why you're like that?"

His breath stalled. Surprise took over, his expression lighter, as he looked around your face. He was kind of cute, if he could stay like that.

It, of course, fell, and he was all grumpy, dissatisfied, again.

His arms fell off of you, crossed lazily over his chest, and he leaned back onto the bench, muttering to himself like the crazy, angry, loner he was, "Fuckin'... whatever... stupid... fuckin'- prude..."

☆VIP☆

@integers @paradoxicalwritings @yuchacco

taglist.

none! reply to be added.

my masterlist. more haikyuu requests open

[galene-gothic]

𝖶𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝗂𝗍 𝗆𝖾𝖺𝗇𝗌 𝗍𝗈 𝖻𝖾 𝖼𝗅𝗈𝗌𝖾 𝗍𝗈 𝗒𝗈𝗎

ˏˋ༻ʚ♡︎ɞ༺ˎˊ˗             PAID SERVICES TIP JAR

SUMMER SALE

I created this reading for people looking to know and understand what they have to offer in personal connections. This reading could prove to be specially helpful for those of you who have felt unchosen at any point in life. What are others missing out on when they don’t develop a close relationship with you?

⊹ ! ೀ Pile 1 ꒱

꒰ What do you offer in romantic connections that makes you irreplaceable? ꒱

You’re a very old school person who values stability, commitment and devotion, and is naturally wired to provide and desire it. You treat romance as something sacred and aren’t the type to stay stuck in the past. “I’m committed to you but my first love will always have a special place in my heart” is not something that you would ever say. Due to how committed you tend to be, in an almost devotional sense, if a connection doesn’t last, you start questioning everything but in the end, you come down to the conclusion that if it was as real, sacred, committed and devotional as you thought it was, it would have never left you or hurt you so you the way it did so you end up moving on from it. You nurture the connection and your partner wholeheartedly, and have the ability to fight for the connection and resist whatever forces try to separate you so if you’ve had romances in the past, there was a point when you didn’t understand how they could just break so easily or let anything come between the two of you. You are naturally very unconditional, understanding and nurturing in a romantic relationship so when a relationship breaks, you try to understand things from their perspective first. “Maybe it was just too much for them to feel with,” “maybe they were just overwhelmed” or “maybe the fights that occurred due to the issues caused them to feel hurt, maybe I should have been gentler.” That’s how you think but you can’t help but feel disappointed and question everything because if you were willing to handle tough situations, and fight for the connection, why couldn’t they have done the same? “To be a lover, you have to be a fighter because if you can’t fight for your love, what kind of love do you have?” - Keanu Reeves. Overtime, you ‘unfall’ for people, I know that’s not a word but what I meant is that you don’t see the relationship as as intense and significant anymore. While in a relationship, you do not let the connection break even if you have fights and outside circumstances are trying to tear you apart because that’s just how devoted you are to the person, and to making things work. In fact, initially, even after a breakup, you may still have faith in them, and do not let the connection break because you had genuinely and deeply fallen for your partner, and were devoted to them but overtime, you start seeing that it was inevitable for the connection to break and that they didn’t love you enough to try, and fight for the connection so you end up unfalling for them. Devotion, duty and commitment mean a lot to you so it’s important for you to experience all of these in the present moment, and you cherish and love only the person right in front of you. Even if you’ve had other lovers in the past, you do not consider them at all, they do not hold any place in your mind or heart anymore because you just become so taken by the person right in front of you. When you’re single, you tend to think about your former partners but mostly, you simply just go through a process of lessons, inner change, acceptance of outer change, unfalling for them, and realising that it was not even as beautiful and real as you had thought it was because if it was, it would have stood the test of time, and life. Also, even though you think about your past when single, when you love someone again and get with them, it’s like the past never even happened. You only care about your present partner, and they become your one and only. Most people love the idea of love but don’t know how to love. For those of you who have experienced romance in the past, you’re really aware of it because while you were committed to making things work and were not letting external events, and intensity of emotions and events break your relationship, the person/people you were involved with were more willing to end the relationship and compromise what you had, rather than deal with whatever opposed your relationship with complete commitment and will to succeed.

Due to how much work, commitment and fight you are willing to put up for the one you love, when you start realising that they didn’t do the same for you, you fall out of love with them because you lose the ability to go all in on love with them, because you can no longer devote yourself to them anymore. You also start believing that they didn’t love you or at least not as much as you thought they did, or wanted them to, because if they did, they would have tried for the relationship way harder than they did in reality. You also understand how hard it is to come by a true lover who loves you and only you. You have been made to feel like you’re too much, too little, not enough, not good enough to fight for, commit to and stick with despite how much you offer in a relationship, and how you’re willing to go against the entire world to protect your relationship and partner so if you have any romantic history at all, you have felt scorned and discarded, and know how hard it is to come by someone who loves you and only you, wants you and only you, and is truly committed to you so you want to have only one love and cherish them, and only them. Even if you’re unable to have only one relationship and end up with them. You’re going to make sure that the one you end up with is your only one by letting go of the past completely and making sure that they’re your deepest love, and your first real love. “Someone who wants you wholeheartedly, it is very difficult and rare to find someone like that. If there is someone like that in the world. They’re simply the most beautiful.” Someone who loves you in the present moment, and sticks with you through thick and thin, and is committed to you and only you, and is willing to fight for your relationship and will not let ‘life’ get in the way of your relationship is the most precious to you, and easily becomes the only one for you because no one in the past ever did that for you, because nothing in the past was as real as your beloved in the present is for you, they’re your first and your last, they’re your one, and only true love so anyone who fumbles you misses out on the chance of being this for you. Also, even though I told you that you think about your past relationships when you’re single, once you’re done realising and seeing the truth of things, learning the necessary lessons and finally fall out of love with them, you think about them with regret until you eventually stop thinking about them altogether. You know how to get over your past, you know how to tame your mind, you usually already have gotten over your past before getting with anyone so there’s no space for anyone, even the thoughts of your past when you’re in a relationship with the one you love. You’re also incredibly wise and offer really great advice to the one you’re involved with. You’re a very mature person when someone gets close to you romantically so you end up teaching them a lot. We have discussed this enough but your commitment and devotion are unwavering. Not just to your relationship and your partner but also to your own values, priorities, duties, and ethics. If you were to betray your partner or in fact, any value of your own, you’d feel terrible so you simply just don’t do it so it’s rare to find someone who understands connections, love, commitment, loyalty, duty, morals and values the way you do. For you, it’s sacred and devotional to maintain a certain commitment, and discipline regarding your own values and morals so when someone misses out on you, they’re not just missing out on a beautiful and committed relationship but also a genuinely good person who tries to maintain a strong personal character even when they’re single. You’re also really good at doing this odd thing in which you notice something, some truth about your partner but it is something that they themself haven’t grown awareness of yet or haven’t been able to truly live by, understand and accept yet but you see it, learn from it, and shed light to it, causing them to grow into more alignment with it as well.

You don’t have to shed light onto these matters through your words. In fact, most of you don’t go about it that way. It seems to be that you internally shake them through your energy itself? Of course, actions and words could assist it further but it seems to be mostly energy. The process of this may not be the easiest. Like, you could end up triggering them by simply existing because you see and understand their truth or in fact, live by it, and preach it to them or others. There may be fights, chaos or internal tension. I’m picking up on a lot of intensity but even so, you do not let any of it break your relationship. Your commitment is so unwavering, most of the time leaving the connection doesn’t even cross your mind. I won’t lie, sometimes it gets so overwhelming, you may wonder if it’s best to just end things but ultimately, you don’t, you’re devoted to the relationship and are keen on making things work, and naturally do not want to give up on the connection. The idea of breaking up and compromising the love, bond and commitment you share with your partner is unbearable to you so no matter what happens, no matter what any of you go through, no matter how overwhelmed you may be, you do everything in your power to make sure that the relationship doesn’t break, that it doesn’t end. You change a lot internally in a relationship in order to make the relationship work and grow yourself. You respect your partner a lot, and internally question yourself, your life, habits, values and priorities, in order to transform internally if you sense that you hurt them or because you respect your partner greatly, and might see them doing things in a way that you respect but don’t yourself so you try to incorporate it within yourself. In fact, it’s not just with your romantic partner, you learn from other people too. It’s just that you’d likely not be able to get romantically involved with someone who you don’t respect and admire deeply. You’re nurturing, loving and incredibly respectful of your partner. You have faith in them and follow their lead. You may have fights with them due to the intensity of your connection and both of you might get triggered but despite that, you try to be their peace and love them in a very ‘family-like’ manner. You know how people who never entered the kitchen except to make instant noodles or steal their sibling’s ice cream suddenly start baking and cooking when they get into a relationship? Yes, that’s you. I just heard “my vanilla kink is breeding” whatever that means 😭. I do get that you are very spouse material naturally. Like, you are likely unable to do casual relationships due to how much you end up doing for your partner, how spouse material you naturally are so whenever you fall in love, it awakens your nurturing spirit. It doesn’t have to mean that you want to breed and have kids with them but there’s a desire to nurture and love. This nurturing spirit likely extends to them, those around you, their family, etc. This is so sweet but many of you want to be able to take care of your partner’s parents. This does not mean that you want to stay in the same house as your future spouse’s parents but you want to be able to treat them with love, respect and care. You also tend to be very curious about who raised the man/woman that you love. You’re incredibly affectionate and likely hands on as well, and not just in sexual ways. You’re the type of person to run your fingers over their arm lightly while talking to them, play with their hair, peck them, hug them, sit on their lap, put your head on their shoulder while breathing on the crook of their neck, so on and so forth. There’s something very light and sensual about your touch that I’m picking up on, like the type that just makes the skin tingle or the muscles calm down temporarily. I won’t lie though, for you, certain values, traditions, stability, responsibilities and manners mean a lot so it can turn you off pretty quickly when someone does not live up to it and does not live according to whatever you want, and believe.

Also, you want to love and be loved, and not have to step out of character. You enjoy the finer things in life and enjoy feeling adored, beautiful, abundant, safe, and rich in every sense of the word. You want to be able to respect and admire your partner, and have faith in them, their values, priorities, intentions and actions so just any partner won’t cut it for you. You need to find a protector and provider because otherwise, they won’t be a good match for you. It’s interesting because you’re not a gold digger. In fact, you’re quite the opposite. For example, your partner lost everything, you wouldn’t mind sticking with them while they rebuild. In fact, you’d help them rebuild but it is very important for you to respect their character and have faith in them. Your younger self likely wouldn’t really mind being with someone who does not provide what you need in a relationship but by now, if you have had past connections, you’re aware that these people don’t have what it takes to be with someone like you. I’m legit getting that many of you were just mothering who you were with. Of course, if you don’t have any deadbeat former partner or no romantic history, that’s alright, DO NOT EVER SETTLE. You should have space to become your highest self whether that’s by yourself or with a romantic partner. If your partner is making you feel ugly, replaceable and not as adored, and cherished as you need to be, that’s not a relationship that you should be in because by now I’ve stated it enough but you’re the greatest partner that one could have. Most of you are aware of your worth and have high standards though. For those of you who were in these wasteful and negative situations with deadbeats, you felt like you were betraying yourself the entire time and are unwilling to waste your precious time, and energy like that again. Deep down, we always know what we want and what we deserve. Also, you try to make a very comfortable, loving and happy place for your partner too. You want to make them feel adored, admired, loved and safe too. If there are any heterosexual men reading this, you likely want to make your partner’s life as easy and beautiful as possible. The energy that I’m getting here is ‘the man who’s the provider and the woman who is allowed to decide whether she wants to work or not, and she can do whatever creative thing she wants and even build her own business if she wants but her spouse tries to be the main provider, and does everything to spoil her rotten’ xD. The women and girls reading this want a partner like this but you also want to provide in your own way - with your care, love, commitment, devotion and sensuality. You would want to spoil your partner sexually, visually and sensually by looking good for them every day and every night, and touching them in sensual and loving ways, and trying to make them unwind and relax after a long day. Obviously, this would happen only after the relationship is extremely committed, possibly even after marriage for most of you because most of you need safety and proof of commitment first. This reading just reminded me of that quote. “If a man wants an angel, he should create heaven for her because angels don’t live in hell.” Anyone who cannot give you what you need, want and deserve won’t receive your angelic side but someone who’s willing to create the best possible experience for you with love, joy and pure intentions will receive a close to divine form of you.

꒰ What do you offer in platonic connections that makes you irreplaceable? ꒱

In platonic relationships, you’re incredibly independent, self reliant and self regulated. I understand why you would require a partner who’s dependable and safe because you don’t really depend on people platonically. You seem abundant but fine being alone to your friends and acquaintances. You’re wise and mature, and seem happy and content but don’t really share that much with them. You just continue projecting the image of someone who is alright by yourself and appreciative of what you are, have, and your journey so far and you’re not exactly being fake but everyone has a softer side of them that needs support and some tender loving care but you don’t express yours. You maintain a lot of self sufficiency and don’t rely on others. Even if you do talk about anything personal, it seems to be selective and not exactly something that you seek support or reliance through. Despite this lack of opening up and relying, you give a lot in platonic connections. One of the things that I’m getting that you give is emotional support. You don’t share your own problems but listen to theirs and provide them with support, advice, and wisdom. Also financially, you might take up the bill a lot or might offer to pay for your closest friend at least especially if they’re low on cash or don’t have it. Many of you may avoid friendships with the opposite gender due to how used and discarded you’ve felt at some point? It’s due to how much you tend to give even platonically. Especially the emotional labour is nothing short of unpaid and under appreciated therapy :,). Even with same gender friends, you feel a bit bad when they get a romantic partner and suddenly forget about you but you’re still abundant, self reliant, and try to be self regulated so you don’t let it get too much on you. When people lose you as a friend, they lose someone non transactional. You do not even share your problems or try to rely on your platonic connections, you simply just try to support them and give to them as much as you can. The generosity is unmatched. Many of you may have developed even more comfort with being alone and still feeling abundant because of your past experiences in which you felt used, and discarded by your former friends. You don’t seem to be a bit confusing in platonic connections honestly. They don’t see you clearly and they don’t understand you. You may also be a bit impulsive and reckless in certain ways, likely just spontaneous when it comes to spending time with people, having fun, and spending money on them but also unwilling to take the risk of truly opening up to them and letting them into your life fully. It’s not even malicious but you simply just want to be able to deal with your life by yourself, not have to rely on anyone and prefer keeping things to yourself. You project yourself as being very whole and abundant most of the time though, as if you don’t lack anything at all.

Now, it doesn’t hurt you to have no close friends, no one to spend time with and rely on but in the past, you struggled a lot with feeling lonely even in friendships that you considered to be special. There were times when you felt misunderstood, used, discarded or/and turned against but you’re past that now. You appreciate your platonic connections and friends greatly even if they’re not close to you but don’t expect anything from them, and even if you end up doing so, you don’t feel as disappointed or hurt at all when they don’t become the kind of friend that you wanted them to be. ‘Lonely’ by Jonghyun and Taeyeon is coming through. “I don’t want to make it obvious to you, I’m used to just holding it in. Please understand me.” Your friends and acquaintances are likely not aware of how lonely you have felt or feel sometimes :(. You have a whole and abundant image, and it’s not even like it’s just an image. It is in fact real, you are whole by yourself and comfortable being yourself but you’re just a human too, you have struggled in the past and still do sometimes. You would love to have someone who tries to love, understand and be there with you. You wouldn’t feel comfortable enough sharing everything with them either, you wouldn’t feel comfortable being vulnerable with them but you’d end up giving them a lot just because they’re trying :(. There’s a huge emphasis on having felt and been taken advantage of by friends, and acquaintances in the past due to this trait of yours. When people become friends with you, you don’t rely on them but do a lot for them. You listen to their problems and support them emotionally, and even physically if you can but you don’t really ask them to do the same for you. I’m so sorry, you always deserved better in friendships :(. You’re confusing to your friends because of your self reliance. When you’re friends with someone, you do a lot for them despite not receiving much yourself and you’re grateful to just have them as a friend, you don’t even ask for much but instead just keep giving, giving giving and doing, doing, doing, and you give and do so much that they may assume that you were greatly attached to them, and that could be true but because they didn’t provide you with much if anything at all to begin with, it’s pretty easy for you to move on from them or even if it’s difficult, it’s difficult because of how much you invested into the connection and not because of them so in the end, you’re fine by yourself and don’t miss them too much so they don’t really understand. When people lose you as a friend, they lose someone who would give them and do for them without asking for anything in return. When people lose you as a friend, they lose someone who would recklessly and spontaneously have fun with them just because. When people lose you as a friend, they lose a true friend who’s not transactional but instead just generous and well meaning. Also, I know that I used the word ‘acquaintance’ a lot despite the reading being about closeness. The reason is because even your closest friends are like acquaintances and you’ve done a lot even for acquaintances in the past as though they were your close friends. Like, I’m not sure how to put it for you but I think and hope that you’ll get it. I hope that the reading resonated and provided you with the understanding, boost, and guidance that you needed. Thank you for reading, much love and take care.

⊹ ! ೀ Pile 2 ꒱

꒰ What do you offer in romantic connections that makes you irreplaceable? ꒱

You’re a grounded and responsible person who carries a lot by yourself in a romantic relationship. You’re also incredibly determined and do a lot for the connection, and you do it in a quiet way. You are more focused on necessary actions than you are on talking about it. You could have felt like or might still sometimes feel like people don’t understand you and see how much you’re doing for them, and the connection just because you don’t say it out loud but trust me, actions will always speak louder than words. It is better than to be one of those people who talk a lot about what they’re doing and what they’ll do but don’t do anything action wise. You’re very humble, almost too humble. You might end up playing smaller than you are at times but it’s not because of insecurity or lack but instead a desire to show that everyone is just human and has those sides, moments, and days. I do feel like if you get with the wrong person, this side of you will be taken as inferiority but gosh, they couldn’t be more wrong. Wait, let me explain it to you properly, you are a very grounded and genuine person who’s down to earth, and you carry a lot by yourself because you’re dutiful and naturally feel responsible. You don’t even voice out how much you’re doing and try not to burden your partner, almost trying to make the relationship go forward all by yourself, managing all the tough parts by yourself but despite this, during the moments when life causes them to fall, you play small. I am getting that any of you who have experienced romance previously has been taken for granted, misunderstood, underestimated and looked down on due to this trait of yours. I’m getting so many different energies here and I’m being told that all of these are true. Obviously, some of you may not relate to all of what is being told but most of you will. So starting with the first thing that I’m getting, you are incredibly responsible and do not share your emotions, and burdens with your partner. I honestly feel like some of you may have a history with deadbeat partners because I’m getting you literally working for the relationship and carrying it on your own, all by yourself. I’m getting frustrated because what a waste of energy, love and character. It’s not like you didn’t want to share all of this with your partner but more like, you couldn’t? Don’t get me wrong, you’re dutiful and responsible, and prefer doing a lot by yourself. You also really value self regulation but it’s normal to want to rely on your partner, no? You used to express your low and sad parts to your partner, possibly acting completely devastated.

Even so, you did not receive any support or anything of that sort and the whole time, despite playing small, and acting low, you used to carry the relationship, your own personal burdens and their burdens all by yourself. This could have led to some past relationship completely ending and you feeling extremely devastated, and insecure. It breaks my heart that you were questioning your own worthiness and there was a lot of regret about having waited so long, done so much, and tried so hard when you didn’t even receive appreciation for all that you did. Instead, you could have been disrespected. The audacity. OH. MY. GOD. You’ve always been deserving of love because you understand that love is a duty and you’ve naturally done a lot for your partner without even having to just because you wanted to. You’ve also stuck with people through their lowest point in life just for them to discard you once they got better. The whole time, you were doing everything that you could for them and the connection too, and you felt scorned because you had not walked away even when you could have due to consideration and regard for them. You’re so precious, you don’t discard your partner just because they’re going through a hard time and are unable to be as present in the relationship or offer as much. Instead, you don’t mind shouldering all the responsibilities for the time being. This is an incredibly beautiful trait of yours, even if it has been abused in the past. Obviously, if you’ve not had any sort of romantic entanglements in the past, you’ve been able to avoid these situations but your romance style remains the same - loyal, responsible, willing and able to carry everything by yourself, stick with your partner through thick and thin, giving them space to heal, and feel better even if it is at your own expense. You shouldn’t have had to but you’ve acted smaller than you were in order to please your partner almost, to make them feel better, to make them feel bigger than you? I’m not sure what kind of odd dynamic this is but gosh, don’t ever deal with insecure deadbeats who need you to act smaller than you are in order to feel better about themselves, please. I’m legit begging you right now. I once heard some man on tiktok say “if a woman stayed by my side at my lowest point, I’d leave her when I get at a higher point because she clearly doesn’t respect herself” and I feel like many of you have fallen victim to someone like this. I’m also getting that for some of you, it could have been a situationship or friendship that bordered on your generosity or relationship privileges without actual commitment.

Obviously, it was a committed relationship for some of you but it didn’t feel like it, it feels very one sided now that you look back at it. I feel like all of this came through to assure you that the way you love is precious and that you were always worthy of love, it’s just that you happened to get tangled with the wrong people, and weren’t able to honour the way you love to the fullest due to the fact that you were wronging yourself by even being around them and directing energy towards them. You need to accept that there was never anything wrong with you except that you were too patient while doing too much by yourself. Please, never get involved in anything one sided with a deadbeat 🙏🏼. When you’re in a healthy relationship, you are very nurturing in grounded ways aka through your actions. You create a domestic and safe environment for them, and try to nurture them in whatever way you can. You are going to be emotionally mature and will try to make the relationship as easy, and beautiful for your partner as possible by carrying a lot of by yourself and shouldering as many responsibilities by yourself as you can with determination, and no complaints. You are a very ambitious and dutiful individual naturally, even outside of a relationship so you value stuff like money, humility and family. Men are struggling with the ‘male loneliness epidemic’ because earlier, they were expected to simply just provide money in order to find a partner but now, women can earn their own money and do so, so they value richness in character as well causing men to have to offer more than just money which is partially true but the thing is, women have been working outside of household chores for a long time, it’s just that they were not credited for it back then and things haven’t changed much since then. It’s just that things are flipped now. Women are expected to cook, clean, take care of the kids and go out, and earn money as well, and go ‘50-50’ financially because it’s their ‘duty’ and you’re capable of doing this but you shouldn’t have to. I’m telling you to not fall into this dynamic with anyone because you seem so dutiful and responsible that when you do, you may not even be aware of what you’re doing, and how you’re harming and dishonouring yourself in the process. In fact, you may feel good about being able to do all this by yourself but you’ll feel terrible in the long run because you’ll be depleted energetically and will not have anything to hold onto in regard to effort from the other person because you were the one doing, and giving everything.

If you have dealt with this, you’re not interested in giving everything for nothing anymore but your love nature is still the same, you still want to responsibly give your all in a relationship. It’s all about giving for you. You want to be able to direct your generous, genuine and dutiful nature towards someone, towards something connective. You are very attentive to your partner’s needs and try to do whatever you can for them. You’re a very acts-of-service kind of person so you go above and beyond for them even if that means tiring yourself out. Not to mention, you stick with them through their lowest moments, when they lose everything, and no longer have anything to offer and you continue carrying on with the relationship even if the load on you has increased. The thought of leaving your partner does not even really cross your mind. Not to mention, you lower yourself to their level or lower so that they can feel better about themself. Also, you often don’t notice when things are one sided or when the other person is a deadbeat because you get so busy providing for the connection and carrying all the responsibilities by yourself, trying to fulfil your duties within the relationship, and are too determined to make things work. When you’re providing so much value, don’t you think you deserve someone who does the same for you too? Someone who adds onto your life too? You’re someone who thinks more about what you can do for your partner than assessing if they’re even doing anything for you. I need you to sit down and list out what you need in a partner by assessing what you try to offer, what you naturally offer, and what you have felt hurt by in the past. For example, you’re a humble person who sticks with people through thick and thin, and is determined to make things work even if the load is very heavy on you and you try to carry everything by yourself, you deserve someone like that too. Someone who won’t give up on you and tries to make life easier for you. Someone who sees, acknowledges and appreciates your actions rather than ignores, and takes advantage of it just because you don’t verbally point it out and if you felt hurt by how one sided everything felt in the end, you deserve someone who won’t let things be one sided for you, someone who will want to give you and do for you wholeheartedly without any complaints, just the way you want to do for them, someone dutiful, responsible and action oriented. You’re a giver and you should NEVER EVER be with a taker because you’ll be drained of your resources, and energy by such people. Do not try to be something you’re not and opt to be a non giver because you’ll be suppressing, and denying your own nature in that case but be discerning with who you give and how much to. If you are with a giver, you won’t have to be transactional because you’ll both be wholeheartedly giving to each other but it is important to discern first. Also, if someone is not a taker, get away from them. There’s no other way around it because even if you try to measure how much you give, you’ll lose track of it and end up giving, and doing too much for them.

꒰ What do you offer in platonic connections that makes you irreplaceable? ꒱

Unlike the first pile, you rely on your platonic connections but it’s sort of just an act. One thing that is very intriguing about you is that you’re someone who can handle everything by yourself and doesn’t even need anyone but you act like you do? You keep up an appearance of stability and keep things sort of surface level, and even if you take things deeper, you are still guarded. It’s like, you may share things that make you seem open but you aren’t sharing certain things and continue having an upper hand by keeping up the appearance of stability, and not sharing your true vulnerabilities. You are aware that your insecurities can be used against you so you do not share your failures publicly or even if you do, you do not make it seem like an insecurity but rather something you’ve grown from. You’re very sensitive to details and notice things that cause you to be critical of people. Also, you seek truth from people so if you know that someone is lying to you or not giving you the full picture, you become wary of them. You’re way smarter than people give you credit for. You’re incredibly hard on yourself and critical of yourself too, and you end up showing it to your close friends or those who spend enough time with you but the rest, they usually do not see it or even if they are aware of it, they see it as a tool for self improvement more than anything. They see it as something that has made you more unapologetic and sharper overtime. You genuinely want to build grounded and lasting friendships but you’re guarded to them, and are very critical of people so they usually don’t go past the interview round 😭. You fear taking the risk of fully becoming friends with someone and letting them into your life, and inner circle. Once, you are friends with someone though, you’re very honest and a bit blunt. You can be talkative and you are but there are times when you’re just blunt. You say things in short but precise way as if you’re just getting the point across without much regard for emotions. Also, the jokes you crack can be very mean and you tend to be sarcastic, and bitter too. You hold onto grudges in platonic connections without meaning to and they come out randomly after time has passed by. Supposing, your friend was mean to you when you tried to talk to her, the next time that she tries to talk to you, you might ignore her or say something mean causing for the dynamic to be a bit petty and resentful. Also, you’re very fun loving with your friends, you act carelessly and childishly in a way that you wouldn’t with anybody else. If the dynamic is on the healthier side, you show them a side of you that is very critical and hard on yourself, and you open up to them a lot and depend on them but at the same time, don’t. I don’t think that I need to explain what I just said to you because you’ll get it. I couldn’t explain even if I wanted to, the words just aren’t coming to me. You also help them look at the detail of situations and show them the truth even if it comes off harsh at times. You do so hoping for them to find a more grounded and fruitful path for themself. You can seem too serious at certain times and too carefree, and childish at other times. This is all that I’m getting for you. I hope that the reading resonated and provided you with the understanding, boost, and guidance that you needed. Thank you for reading, much love and take care.

⊹ ! ೀ Pile 3 ꒱

꒰ What do you offer in romantic connections that makes you irreplaceable? ꒱

You’re comfortable to be around and offer a very pure, affectionate, and almost childlike joy in a connection. You’re also someone who treasures your history with your partner a lot and wouldn’t really open yourself to new love of any sort even if you were to be broken up with them. It would take you a lot of time to move on, a lot of alone time, a lot of deep contemplation and yearning. However, in an active relationship, you would be the type to discuss past events. “Remember when…?” Is the kind of energy that I’m getting. You almost play with people like kids when you are in a relationship. I’m not sure in what way but you become very joyous and childish, playing around, and enjoying life. Some of you might even develop a more childish tone and speech. You also remember little things about people and bring it up or offer it to them. For example, I love white rabbit, if I was around you and someone gave you two white rabbits, you’d give it to me saying something like “here, take it, you like it right?” You’re the same way with your partner 🫶🏻. You know how to make your partner’s inner child feel safe but for that, you need to bring that side of them out first. Initially, they feel restless, stressed and unable to relax but it’s actually good for their higher healing. You bring out their inner child for them to heal but it takes time for them to actually heal, they first need to process all the overwhelming emotions that come with being with you. If any of you have had past relationships, they could have ended in a way in which, you couldn’t move on but you were just confused as to why it even ended. They just couldn’t deal with all the emotions and issues that you brought up. It could have led to greater healing for them if they had stuck through it but they couldn’t because they felt overwhelmed. There’s a lot coming through about how you can only love one person for a long time. Like, it’s really hard for you to move on even after a break up, you take years. You might even fall sick when relationship problems start occurring or when you’re dealing with a heartbreak. Are you not over a former partner or something? Because while I really want to read for you. I feel like I’m unable to do so. You need to fix your mindset though. First love is not the most important love, in fact, it does not really matter much in the grand scheme of things. Love that is real will last because love is the one force that can weather any storm. Your past love is gone, if you cherish them too much, you won’t be able to cherish someone who loves you in the present moment. The first card was good but the rest three are suggesting that you need to focus on personal healing right now. Also, it��s tough to hear but you’re going to take time to heal, a long time but you’ll be fine in the end. Until then, you may hold onto the manipulation and potential of the connection, unable to decide what part was more apparent. I’m picking up on a lot of confusion due to the miscommunication, hurtful actions, questioning of intentions that occurred and the potential of the connection that existed but never fully manifested. Then, there is also love that you hold but aren’t able to express. If you have moved on and aren’t actively struggling this way, you may have in the past, and now you don’t trust love, believe that everyone manipulates, hurts, leaves and are not open to love. It is alright but I’m unable to tap into what you offer in a relationship that makes you irreplaceable due to whatever is going on. Please focus on your personal healing, growth and development for now.

꒰ What do you offer in platonic connections that makes you irreplaceable? ꒱

You’re not very consistent as a friend but are very decisive. You’ve had really competitive friends in the past who weren’t very reliable and due to this, if you were to choose between a friend and a goal, you’d choose a goal. It’s not even a matter of deceit to you, you used to view it as “they’d not think about me if they wanted this and had the opportunity to get it plus if they want it enough, they’ll try harder and get it.” I’m not even getting it being malicious. If this is happening in the present, you’re just focused on winning in life and they might take it the wrong way? However, you have another side to you, you are very strong willed on making your friendships work. You want to actively collaborate with your friends and succeed, you value communication, learning, and teaching and you truly work as a team with them. This is only possible if you don’t sense competition though. You’d do really well in a friendship in which you can work together on a shared goal because in that case, you’d be able to channel your desire and will to win in a more productive manner. If a friendship is humble and your friend is learning from you, and teaching you instead of competing or harbouring odd competitive feelings, you are not going to compete with them. Yes, I won’t lie, you might get busy with your personal goals but even so, you prioritise your friend and function as a team with them. You listen to them and try to work with them, apologising for anything that you might have done that may have hurt them or made them feel neglected and you genuinely care about your friend but it is very important for the friendship to not feel like a competition. Earlier, I said that you were decisive, even if it is hard to take decisions, you will take them if you have to. For example, if your friend has been acting odd, you will take the firm decision to cut them off. I won’t lie, you might reach out well into the future to explain your side to them and while, it may be nice to receive their side of the story too, you don’t expect it. You have already given yourself closure by then. Some of you are fine with never reaching out plus mostly you’re busy with your goals anyway. Also, it’s not just about goals, you’re focused on succeeding and that includes, as a person as well so you don’t let anything, including friendships or past ones hold you back. Also, even if you reach out to your former friends, your intention is to end the friendship. I’m not getting much here except that you may reach out to a former friend and send them paragraphs, explaining what you have to, trying to end things on good terms and while hearing their side of the story would be great, if you don’t hear back from them, you may feel bad for a day at most but even so, you continue moving forward. You truly are the kind of person that one needs to be in order to move forward in life and win. You have a very forward facing attitude despite the inability to move past your past relationships or having the trauma you experienced in them affect you for a long time and hold you back in certain ways. If you were to find a true friendship, you would be a very good friend. You’d help your friend move forward in life by helping them make decisions, supporting them and pointing out to them that they have a whole future ahead of them, and that’s where their focus should lie. Your reading was relatively short, I think it was so that you’d receive precise guidance. I suggest that you take some time to reflect. I hope that the reading provided you with the understanding, boost and guidance that you needed. Thank you for reading, much love and take care.

[the-pigeon-queen]

Obsessed with your ghost takes. Give me more headcanons I beg. I’m on my knees. Let us see but a fraction of the beauty in your mind.

Truly I am honored and I'm happy to provide :]

Sorry for the delay, I had to cook these up

Again, per usual, these are just personal head cannons :0 And I got 10 for each papa and for ghouls!

Copia:

Grew up doing acrobatics and ballet to be more like his Auntie, Marika. He chose to focus on ballet pretty early on.

Referred to Markia as Auntie but Mr. Psaltarian as Mr. Psaltarian.

Has a complicated relationship with his emotionally distant father figure, Mr. Psaltarian, but an even more complicated one with his actual father, Nihil

Marika babied him - grew up a little spoiled

The 666 mark on his chest is a birthmark lol not a tattoo

Has a lot of mobile games on his phone, and he has used the company card to make microtransactions for them

Picked up boxing because he was a little insecure about his arms and to stay 'fit' as he says

Executive dysfunction - eventually the stress of doing a task trumps his procrastination. When he does work, he does it well - he did get 2nd best employee of the month, after all

Prefers sci-fi to fantasy, with Star Wars being his favorite. He has models of all the different space ships in Star Wars. And a lightsaber (canonically)

Has pet rats (this is cannon to me across all AU's, I can't help it)

Perpetua:

Raised as an orphan in the catholic church after being kidnapped as a baby (will it be cannon? 👀 we'll see)

They were convinced he was possessed by the devil, and they performed multiple exorcisms on him there. Each one was traumatic, for obvious reasons.

One common punishment was having his knuckles/hands smacked - that's why he wears gloves/metal gauntlets, it makes him feel safer.

The mask, too, is worn because its comforting to hide behind it. He only takes it off when he has to.

He's trans. He goes by he/him but still doesn't confirm to any gender roles, especially not when it comes to fashion. He wears anything he wants. This includes the claws.

Whereas Copia has issues maintaining eye contact, Perpetua is the opposite. He stares. A lot. It is unnerving after a while.

His natural smile just happens to be very toothy and very wide.

Genuinely desires familial connections, and desperately wants to meet and befriend his twin, who he looks up to.

Has not confronted how he feels about the Ministry only seeking him out when he was needed for something. Right now, he's just happy to be wanted.

Has a pet bat :) no, it doesn't have rabies. Probably.

Primo:

Hates Nihil the most out of any of the siblings. He really brings a 'kill your dad' energy to the function (or a kill your older brother energy, take your pick)

Collects ancient occult or 'cursed' books. He has a copy of the Necronomicon. One of his most precious treasures is a copy of the Codex Gigas. He is currently hunting down a copy of the 'King and Yellow' because it's not a cognito hazard, people just don't get it like he does.

His mother was a witch - it's where he picked up a flair for gardening and tea. And bones. And magic.

He's an alchemist. Self-taught, and good at it.

Definitely had a homunculus at some point

Made a deal with an undisclosed demonic entity to keep his hair into his advanced age (I just like long hair Primo,,,)

Also hates the executives that run the Ministry. He has a strict idea of how the cult should be run and is endlessly frustrated that he doesn't have more say in its activities.

The executives in the Ministry fear him - no one knows what is keeping him in line, because it's obvious he would and probably could unleash some real harm to them.

Loves Secondo and Terzo dearly. He cared for them as if they were his own children when they were younger and loves them still. Game night started at his request.

As soon as he met Copia and Perpetua, he knew they were related, and he does his best to make the two feel welcome.

For more Primo headcanons, check out a previous post: {Unhinged Primo}

Secondo:

Can and does make pasta from scratch. He bought an extruder and everything.

He's actually a good cook - the only one in the family

People think he's a big, scary dog guy, when he's actually a purse dog guy. (I was making a comic about this but) He adopted a small, fluffy dog, and it wears a spiked collar and a pink bow. He walks it with one of those big, fake chains. Her name is Psycho Killer and he's training her to attack Terzo's ankles.

He recognized the Ministry suffered from same corruption he criticized in the catholic church - but is unable to do anything about it.

Only grew bitter when he realized how powerless he actually was within the Clergy.

He partied so hard as Papa as a way to sort of get back at the Clergy - but it was also a coping mechanism.

Considers himself a fine connoisseur of whiskey, and he is. He's got fancy tasting glasses and everything.

Same with cigars.

He also enjoys a good cocktail, too, though, and can mix a good drink. He's a good bartender.

Actually pretty good at pool/Billiards and darts. He's terrible at UNO, though - absolutely terrible.

Terzo:

Actually an introvert.

After parties, he has to have quiet alone time (this alone time can include Omega)

Enjoys reading - everything from dense books about ethics to trashy romance novels.

Absolute cinephile. He will host viewings of historic/rare/obscure films, and he will provide a slideshow presentation before the viewing. There is a mandatory discussion after.

He's a very talented visual artist - prefers black and white charcoal and graphite work.

Genuinely wanted to take over the world with the Clergy and turn it into his idea of a utopia. Unfortunately, the Clergy didn't like his vision, didn't like how comfortable he was getting with them, and didn't like how ambitious he was.

Once removed from Papacy, he realized how powerless he actually was within the Clergy, and grew even more reclusive, for a time.

Was insecure about his height when he was younger, but came to accept it, and is now perfectly fine with being a "short king."

Thoroughly enjoys messing with Secondo. The two bicker and tease each other all the time.

Keeps in contact with his Polish mother :)

Ghouls:

A ghoul's mask is a physical representation of their contract, but it also helps them maintain a humanoid form.

They can remove the mask, but only for brief periods of time.

If they remove their mask for too long, their magic will begin to destabilize, and they will inevitably revert back into a feral, demonic monster.

They do not have to eat or sleep, nor do they reproduce sexually

However, their physical bodies are 'equipped' to experience all the pleasures of the mortal realm (food, sleep, pleasure) It's a perk of the job.

The physical upkeep of their corporeal forms is dependent on emotional/mental state (can only be injured when emotionally compromised, only show scars if there are negative memories associated with it, ect.)

Musical ability is directly linked to their magic, so it's linked to their element, so it's linked to their emotional state.

This incentivizes the ministry to keep them happy.

They are forbidden from sharing any knowledge of heaven/hell/life after death with humans.

Unlike demons, they don't have true 'names.' It's up to the summoner to give them one.

[hexhomos]

Kiss on the check accepted! :3c

And your response reminded me of a detail I always pick up on rewatches but hadn't fully untangled yet—in the flashback of her childhood, Mel steps into that broken throne room with blood still drying on it. At Ambessa's prompting, Mel goes right into talking about how to renovate the place. "Paint the walls gold"...like gilding over the horrors of conquest that got that power in the first place.

And when she describes the regent they should have, she finishes with, "she should be pliant, so we can mold her." That IS what she was doing with Jayce, slowly, over a decade, and then quickly through Acts 2 and 3.

And then in the scene, after Mel finishes describing a "pliant" regent who can be molded, her mother suggests MEL could be that regent. Young Mel is excited at the idea, entirely missing the implication that she too would be an asset of her mother's reign.

That's why she takes off her Medarda ring right before casting her vote for Zaun's independence. She's finally realized she's just as subject to her mother's games as anyone else and Chooses to stop working in the interests of her family's power.

And augh, I wish her s2 plotline hadn't taken her out of Piltover so we could have seen more of the spycraft against Ambessa she was up to in Arc 1. I can't help but think of how much stronger her confrontation with Ambessa would have been if we had a full season of "daughter works against mother" instead of just a few scenes and a lot of getting kidnapped. More ambiguity with Leblanc would've been great too instead of her killing Elora to say hello.

[continued from here]

EXACTLY the way they shafted the politics in s2 (specifically so they wouldn't need to have hard conversations) genuinely had a negative impact in the ENTIRE story. The systematic horrors were downplayed and plotlines were dropped with very short acknowledgements - this is why we get people complaining about the jayce/mel breakup scene "coming out of nowhere" despite the fact that it made perfect sense for these characters!!!!!! It was just too short and they changed the subject too quickly, so we don't have TIME to think about the economic issues again.

It's so clear to me that jayce, viktor, ekko, mel (each representing a diff political facet. curious!) etc were carefully removed from the actual real world so we never have to analyze or push back against the notion that cait/ambessa are doing a hostile military coup and HAVE gotten people killed, imprisoned, and tortured en masse. So they can neatly resolve all of the plot with an avengers-style montage and never talk about the stuff with real world implications. There is no war in piltover and zaun. Just a cartoony last second villain. We just need to unite to protect... piltover...? And now viktor is randomly forgetting his proud zaunite commie stance and teaming up with the imperial invaders that were plaguing the earth moments ago........? We never talk about the class inequality ever again? Forget everything. Nothing ever matters.

The end result was that we spent far less time with these characters and they ended up being pretty underdeveloped. I know this happened for marketing reasons, its so incredibly clear aspects of the story were dumbed down so they could sell more ingame skins or pitch new champions, and that was seen as more valuable and desirable for the company than politicking - because at heart riot don't care about the political stuff anyway. But it still makes me throw my hands up in the air. such an asspull

In a reality where we had enough time and investment to touch on this, Mel could have actually gotten to push back against ambessa/cait and directly deal with the consequences of her actions. SEVIKA could have gotten a proper payoff for her underground character arc, instead of vanishing halfway through and then randomly accepting a diversity hire seat on the council (insanity. that was insanity) Ekko and the firelights would have obviously played a key role in rallying people against ambessa and helping Jinx recover from her displacement crisis (sorry isha, but even you could have been better used as part of the firelights dilemma) Jayce's mounting disillusionment with piltover and his loyalty to Viktor would be much better explored if they were still in conversation about the cities, the world they wanted to help, and the chaotic blurry lines of personhood/citizenship that decide who is an 'acceptable' target under the fist of the state. Vi could have built a self-reliant identity for herself, something better to fight for that isnt 'being a cop'. This show could've been awesome. I wish it existed

[junkdrawerfan]

I have thoughts about Bruce & Parenting:

One of the reasons Jason runs away from home to find his birth mother (and eventually dies) is because Bruce benched him. Removing Robin from Jason made Jason think his time at the Manor was coming to a close, triggering his desire to return to his neighborhood which leads to him find out Catherine isn’t his birth mother. And all that heartache -- and the pain to follow -- stemmed from a misunderstanding that Jason thought he was “adopted” to be Robin while Bruce was just looking for a son.

This misunderstanding is never resolved. I would argue it is one of the keystones of the modern Jason-Bruce arguments. And it is never resolved because Bruce doesn’t know Jason didn't want to be Robin. After all, Jason genuinely enjoyed being Robin once he started and Bruce thought he was being a "good dad" because he was making Jason happy while protecting him physically. After all, Jason asked to be Robin just as Dick did.

But why did Bruce allow Robin to be created in the first place?

My hypothesis… my interpretation is as such:

One of the failings of Bruce’s parenting with Jason and Dick is Bruce allows the child to set the expectations in the parent-child relationship.

You can see this A LOT in Bruce’s biggest blunders with Dick. When Dick was young (NINE!), Bruce let Dick decide to be Robin, throwing himself into danger, and running lead on cases without a lot of oversight or boundaries from Bruce. This pattern of behavior carries over into their civilian life. This has lead to interpretations of their father-son relationship being more like brother-brother in the early years. All of which, Bruce allows because Dick is physically small enough that Bruce can protect him from danger. Weirdly it’s the same logic small dog owners use to avoid teaching their dogs: why bother training them to stop jumping when you can just pick them up and move them. The problem is kids, unlike small dogs, don’t stay small forever.

As Dick got older and Bruce attempted — most likely subconsciously — to course correct by setting expectations like Dick needs to take his safety more seriously and slow down on heroing to allow for a civilian life, Dick is shocked and insulted, seeing it as Bruce not trusting him. When in reality, expecting your child to pursue some kind of job/college post high school is a not an unrealistic expectation nor is questioning if that child really wants to continue heroing, a very dangerous profession, into adulthood where Bruce can no longer physically protect him.

The problem is these expectations are being set way too late. Dick and Bruce have been operation for so long under Dick’s desires that it is such a shock to the system/routine that when it all comes to a head after Dick is shot by the Joker (triggering Bruce’s PTSD) it leads to a massive falling out. Of course, Bruce goes way too far in attempting to control the situation when he takes Robin away in a misguide attempt to bench Dick.

And we know how well that works out.

Years later, once Jason is older, starting to push back against Bruce’s teachings, and is getting too big to hide under the cape, we see the same issue popping up. Bruce sees Jason acting out/getting angrier and is afraid Jason has killed a man (The Diplomat’s Son) and benches Jason. While Jason is used to following Bruce’s lead in the field, Jason definitely sets the expectations in their father-son relationship. So when Bruce attempts to take the reins by benching Robin — the one area in their lives that Bruce’s kids listen to Bruce — it, again, feels like a betrayal. This all culminates in Jason running away because he doesn’t feel stable at home (the same way Dick did).

(Side note: You could argue this is because Bruce’s biggest parenting influence is Alfred. Bruce views Alfred as a father figure but Alfred is never able to fully step outside his role as butler, no matter how much he wants to. This meant that Alfred the Butler enables Bruce a lot. That coupled with Alfred’s own violent past meaning Alfred doesn’t have a good frame of reference of what a child can handle in the first place, we end up with Batman.)

I don’t think Bruce really fixes his parenting until he gets Damian.

With Tim, Bruce provides stability — to the point Jack Drake feels threatened by Bruce’s presence in Tim’s life — but that is because Bruce is strictly the “mentor” in Tim’s life for the first few years, which helps establish a pattern in the relationship where Tim listens to Bruce’s expectations in and out of the mask. It also helps that Tim is less confrontational than Bruce’s other children. Tim is less likely to argue directly with Bruce and more likely to go around Bruce (feeling guilty while he’s doing it but doing it anyway lol).

Damian, from day one, is looking for a parent. And at this point — between Tim and Cass and fixing his relationship with Dick — Bruce has started to figure out how to manage his kids. This all culminates in a father-son relationship with Damian where Bruce, as the father, sets the expectations in and out of the mask. Bruce makes a lot of effort to bond with Damian in the Batman & Robin comics after he comes back from the dead. Bruce makes Damian go to school and expects him to socialize. Bruce initiates the friendship with Jon Kent for Damian while his other children found their own friends and teams. He sets the moral framework for how Robin operates (which Dick started). After Damian comes back from the dead, Bruce knows Damian’s friends and is involved in his romantic life. He engages in Damian’s hobbies and encourages them. He also scolds Damian when he breaks the rules or tries to lie without ripping away Robin (shockingly low bar I know!).

Of course, I wouldn’t say Bruce is earning any parenting awards and I’m still reading about Damian and Bruce’s relationship so I’m sure there is information I’m missing. But Bruce seems like a much more involved parent now than he did with Dick.

TLDR: Bruce’s greatest failings as a parent is his very permissive parenting style which leads to major fallouts with his older children that he only corrects with Damian after practicing a more proactive parenting style with Tim and Cass.

[arouravis]

✳︎ 𝟶𝟸 𝙰𝚂𝚃𝚁𝙾𝙻𝙾𝙶𝚈 𝙾𝙱𝚂𝙴𝚁𝚅𝙰𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽𝚂 : 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚕 𝚎𝚡𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎!

✿ 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚎: 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚔 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚞𝚙𝚙𝚘𝚛𝚝!

𝙲𝚑𝚒𝚛𝚘𝚗 𝟷𝚜𝚝 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎:

Having this placement is challenging, yes. But on the brighter side of this placement, once you’re in a place of transformation. You’ll come to realize that certain people are genuinely not for you!

Feeling out of place or not “worthy” can be a strong indication of strong discernment. Think about it from the perspective of how things are a certain way for a reason. Only people who are truly meant to be a part of your life are supposed to be around you. You don’t need a big friend group to feel important.

I'll also say with this placement, there more likely to be popular on the internet than in real life imo. They’re able to show a side of themselves to the masses without having to go out of their way to feel embarrassed or not worthy to be apart of the collective that is “society.”

Ex: Every social media account I have made intending to connect with the masses has always had over 1k+ followers. And even right now, I’ve hit 100 followers in three days! I'm naturally meant to connect with the masses within the shadows lmao.

𝙰𝚚𝚞𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚞𝚜 𝚁𝚞𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝟽𝚝𝚑 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎 (𝙻𝚎𝚘 𝚁𝚒𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚐):

All y’all do is play! Constantly in and out of the dating scene. The type of people to always have someone on role-call when the other person you’re talking to isn’t acting right.

It’s like walking in and taking shifts, you think they’re with one person for like 6-8 months, the whole time they’re on the suitor behind door number 3 lmao. It’s genuinely not something they mean to do, but they move on quick if you’re not acting right.

The type of people to date anybody! They aren’t exactly picky people when it comes to love, but they damn sure have standards.

Lastly, stop dating these creatures that have fallen out of heaven and crawled their way into earth. Please treat your body, mind, and spirit, like the temple that it is.

𝚃𝚊𝚞𝚛𝚞𝚜 𝙼𝚘𝚘𝚗𝚜:

EYE LOVE….. I love Taurus moons. One of the best placements to have ever in all time. These people will understand you from head to toe, and front to back. Will support you, be there for you, and set an example of what exactly a true and stable friendship should be! I’ve only encountered two Taurus moons in my life, and those people are truly the only ones who have ever understood me for me! This is the type of person that can be a strong pillar in your life. This is someone who will probably be one of those friends that you’ve known since 4 and grew up to pay taxes together.

That’s what I love about them, they’re so stubborn in their ways of emotion and compassion. It’s hard to let someone with a Taurus moonwalk away from you because they don’t want to leave! They want to talk and express how they feel, they want to be there for both of you, and they desire longevity and comfort within any relationship. And that’s something I care so deeply for and truly speaks to me.

The way they relay advice is phenomenal, they relate to you and show you their ethos. Whilst also staying level-headed and emotionally mature. They are rational and not afraid to put someone in check!

On the other hand, people with this placement can have issues with taking too much time. A tendency to be late, or be VERY indecisive.

But besides that, there’s no other person like them in this world. We all need someone with a Taurus moon, I LOVE YOU.

𝚂𝚌𝚘𝚛𝚙𝚒𝚘 𝙼𝚘𝚘𝚗:

Y’know all the bad rep that Scorpio suns get for being liars and this, that, and the third? It’s Scorpio Moon's fault! Scorpio suns may lie, but they do it for a reason. Scorpios like to keep things hidden about themselves or certain situations... Scorpio moons do it because they know they have the free will to do so!

It’ll be the tiniest, most random thing that they lie about. It's like they'll tell you the sky is purple, knowing damn well it's blue. And they know that you know they are lying, and they physically enjoy that. It’s come to the point where I will actively tell them they are lying and they’ll act like a poor kitty with its tail tucked away between their legs and with a stupid smug smirk… BECAUSE YOU KNOW YOU’RE GUILTY!!

𝚅𝚒𝚛𝚐𝚘 𝙹𝚞𝚙𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚒𝚗 𝟸𝚗𝚍 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎:

If you don’t have money/stability… do not come to their town. They are very bougie and picky with what they like. They’re easily able to spot when things are not “high quality.” And treat them and their body like the temple that it is… and they will judge you for not following suit.

They'll say things like:

Oh… you’re eating that? You're better off not doing that.

I would never wear something like that.

This is not worth the price that it’s for! It should be xyz!

You think a libra Venus knows high quality until they walk in the room…. And the thing is, they try to come off as pleasant as possible when saying it. Because they are genuinely concerned for your well-being.

Absolutely spoiled rotten, never has to worry about finances unless they have to actively pay for something on their own lol. Has their parents on speed dial for a quick 10 bucks. These people have a village who is willing to pour into them because they know they are deserving of the financial comfort an flexibility that they are accustomed to.

✿ 𝚊𝚞𝚛𝚘𝚛𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚜

[rotthepoet]

Need theo and lorenzo head cannons 😔

Good morning sweet pookie, i gotchu!! I needed a little break after that threesome so I did some random, some silly, some fluffy, and some smutty, kay? It’s really just a big brain dump on how I characterize the boys <3 Hope you enjoy, love ;)

P.s. if I have any reoccurring anon’s, if you want me to differentiate you, please feel free to assign yourself an emoji <3 unspoken rule i thought i’d say out loud

Theodore Nott

I agree with literally everyone on this app, he is a smarty pants, but i refuse to believe he sits down and studies

It’s not that he doesn’t care about his grades, he just doesn’t have to try to get good marks. Queen absorbs information like a sponge and retains that shit forever. Doesnt have to waste time with a boring textbook because he commits everything to memory.

That being said, he will remember everything about you. Your favorite movie you mentioned in passing, he saw you eat something particular multiple times he can infer its your favorite and will buy it for you often, he knows your habits, your aspirations, your desires. All of it. Does it for his close friends and lovers <3

Huge smoker. Like. Oral fixation final boss. Needs to have something to smoke or at least chew on at all times

I mentioned before how I think Mattheo and him laugh at people who vape, but Theodore Nott is a two faced LIAR and actually keeps a menthol alto with him at all times. For convenience sake. If you ask him, it’s different because its not a fun lil fruity flavor.

Speaking of Mattheo, those two are best friends. Like ride or die. Like. These two are bread and butter, inseparable and delicious.

Will internalize everything. This is why he gets so worked up and fights people. It may seem like him getting pissy over nothing, but this boy has some unresolved trauma and unmedicated issues.

Theo has ADHD prove me wrong and fuck you for trying(jk love you, but i will die on this hill.) severe anxiety issues, def some depression going on, hes working through some shit.

Theo can process a lot of stimulus at the same time. Watching him hold 3 steady conversations while reading a novel at the same time is a sight to behold.

Smokes weed a lot too. Mostly bud, but he’s smart and keeps a cart on him too for quick bathroom breaks when he needs to chill tf out. It slows down all the thoughts racing around his head. Lets him relax. Lets him feel peace. Let him feel comfortable. He’s been searching for that feeling his whole life.

Mommy and daddy issues check?

Anyways!

Theo is a player, and its not even because he tries to be.

Girls flock towards him, and he needs an outlet.

Sex is a good outlet.

Sex and drugs? Now we’re cooking

He doesn’t care much for the dating scene, didn’t think he was cut out for it. Bad home life. No mom. Depressed and emotionally distant evil dad. Friends and his family are all death eaters? Causes some bad views on relationships as a whole.

Omg but when he falls in love it takes forever but its so hard. Its so devastatingly hard.

It goes from “wow they really make me happy” to “omfg i need to marry them they make me feel complete and comfortable and it feels like i can finally be myself around someone this is the feeling i have been searching for my whole life” really fast when he falls

He’d never love at first sight. Refuse it. He might think someone is pretty or handsome, but he won’t ever describe it as love at first sight.

100% friends to lovers

He’s a quality time kinda guy i think

Just likes co-existing really

Stay in the room with him in silence as he reads and hes so golden

But that will bump up several notches and enjoy every other love language too

He wants to make you love him. He’ll do anything for you. Buy anything for you. Tell you everyday how wonderful you are

He’s being so genuine too

His friends would know

He never shuts up about you

If you had never spoken to his friends, never met them, they’d be able to come up to you in a grocery store and say “oh. You’re <you>, right?”

And dear god he genuinely cries a little in relief when you finally say yes

He’s buried his face in your hair and hugging you so tightly and he tries not to cry because he finally has everything he needs in his arms

He’s such a good boyfriend

Will never question you(at least not at first or without good reason)

Literally worships the ground you walk on

Will apologize first immediately after every meaningless petty fight

Thats different about real fighting though. Stubborn ass bitch

Anyways

Dotes on you everyday

Calls you so many sweet names in Italian

Has an Italian accent but sometimes tries a British accent to throw everyone off.

Argues in italian

Lowkey hates snow

Runs super cold so loves lovvesss hot weather

Will take you to Italy over the summer

Demands you go

Fucks you on the balcony of his family home

Fucks you stupid on the beach

Sorry where was I going with this

Ah yes anyways

Runs super cold so like is a big fan of cuddles. Lots of sweaters for you to steal

He likes turning cuddles into more slow and intimate things

Slowly fingering you as you spoon

Cockwarming in the morning or late at night<3

So much worship.

So much

Just adores you.

Loves fast rough sex but honestly could go on about slow love making for hours

Literally cant stand American reality tv

The biggest kardashian hater

Knows all the gossip because he’s quiet and listens

Doesnt care to share it though

Lorenzo Berkshire

Bitchboy extraordinaire

If I met Lorenzo Berkshire he would become #1 on my shitlist so fast

I called theo a two faced liar as a joke

But Enzo actually is one

Literally puts on the nicest mask for pretty girls, but every ex, and every guy in hogwarts knows he’s a conniving bitch behind closed doors

One of the richest in the group and it shows

Flaunts his money everywhere he goes

His ears are pieced

Also he likes having his ears bitten it can make him hard as a rock in seconds

Dates, but it usually only lasts a month and Hes the worst boyfriend ever

Dumps them whenever he gets bored

But omg when a person gives him his attitude back

Well first he gets even meaner

But also he likes you so much like… that was hot

And if you ignore his existence? On you like a moth to a flame

Craves attention

Such an attention seeker

Still will fight, isn’t very good, but will try

100% a prefect

Showers his pookie with so much love and attention

When he finally gets the person he wants, hes on top of them 24/7

Never a hand straying to far

Literally obsessed

Big fan of exhibitionism

Will fuck uou on the train, the bathrooms, the common room, the classroom

Its all fair game

Would love to see you all tied up in pretty ribbons for his birthday

Ass man 100%

Likes to just get a fistfull while you hug or cuddle

Mattheo and him are the biggest gossipers

Has like 4k followers on instagram because hes so pretty

Father and mother are hirh death eaters. Does anyone know Berkshire lore because i def dont

Like fr can someone explain him to me

Pairs well with anyone in the grouo, really

Gets along especially with Theo or Mattheo

Amazing at card games, and says he’s amazing at chess too. Hes not.

Literally refuses to snack, says it’ll ruin his physique

On the quidditch team much like everyone else he’s friends with

Slays at herbology

Maybe a bit of a smoker? Not often, and def more weed than tobacco

Light weight for reals

Like severely light weight

He’s the laughingstock of the friend group for it

Him and Mattheo have a running bet on who can fuck the most women

Omg omg omg because they so do the alphabet challenge im so sorry but its factual

Lorenzo is currently winning with 15/26 letters in the alphabet but Mattheo isnt too far behind

Its because Lorenzo is so charming and Mattheo…. Is himself.

Anyways back to being his significant other

Will spoil you

Relentlessly

Lowkey expects head in return but that will wear ofd eventually

109% more likely to start a fwb situation than anything else

Treats you like a girlfriend this whole time

Kisses you sweetly, holds uou close when you sleep, mumbles about how special you are

Just being a girlfriend without the title because then it gets too weird

Loses his shit if you get tired of trying and break it off

Genuinely ballistic if he loses you

Will pull as many favors and as many strings as he can to get yiu back

Seriously considers murder for a while

Anyways he gets you back baby<3

Speaking of babies hes super good with kids

Look at that face

Amazing dad face

Scared of marriage lmao

Bad parents. Fucked up views on relationships

Its a thing for all of them tbh

[the-cosmic-cauldron]

☹︎𝒫𝒾𝒸𝓀 𝒜 𝒫𝒾𝓁ℯ: 𝒴ℴ𝓊𝓇 𝒮𝒽𝒶𝒹ℴ𝓌 𝒮𝒾𝒹ℯ ☹︎

Welcome to 10 Days, 10 Posts from The Cosmic Cauldron! Over the next ten days, I’ll be sharing a blend of astrology and tarot posts, each designed to spark your curiosity and guide your journey. If you find my content interesting, fascinating, or engaging, be sure to click the follow button for more! Ready to dive deeper into your personal journey? Head to my homepage and book a reading — you won’t regret it.

ᑭIᒪᗴ 1

For pile 1, I see that your shadow side often manifests as emotional manipulation. When you don’t get what you want, you tend to go into your head, overthinking, and find ways to subtly manipulate others to get what you desire. You have a tendency to self-isolate, spending too much time in your head, overthinking situations. You’re not always the best at integrating yourself into the world around you. You quickly retreat, pulling away from others and going into isolation. This behavior is part of the manipulation, too. When you don’t get your way, you ghost, walk away, or avoid confrontation. You make it clear that you’re not going to engage, choosing instead to retreat into yourself.

However, this self-isolation leads to stagnation. You spend too much time in your head, ruminating and trying to manipulate situations, which doesn’t help you grow. You’re not opening yourself up to new opportunities when you withdraw. By staying in this cycle of isolation, overthinking, and emotional manipulation, you prevent yourself from experiencing new things and finding healthier ways to channel your emotions. You shut yourself off from the world and miss out on potential opportunities to explore or shift your mindset. You’re not giving yourself the chance to move forward because you’re trapped in this repetitive cycle.

During these periods of isolation, you may also cut off contact with people, ghosting them and becoming distant. If someone does try to engage with you, you may respond in a snappy, petty, or immature way. You could say something hurtful or fail to resolve an issue, only making things worse by not addressing the problem. Holding on to grudges and not letting go of past issues is another challenge for you. When you feel like you possess something, you struggle to release it, even if it’s no longer serving you. You often hold on to things, even dead weight, out of fear of instability. This attachment can be detrimental, keeping you stuck in unhealthy situations.

You tend to deal with a lot of instability, particularly in your relationships. This might stem from an immature way of thinking or communicating with others, where emotional manipulation and withdrawal lead to hot-and-cold dynamics. Your inability to be genuine and authentic creates instability in your connections. You try to gloss over problems by maintaining a positive outlook, holding on to hope that things will improve without addressing the underlying issues. This leads to gaslighting yourself, believing that your actions won’t have consequences, or that things will magically work out. In reality, holding on to things that no longer serve you keeps you stagnant, and when you do let go, it’s often too quickly, without giving situations the time they need to improve.

The themes of instability in your relationships are clear, and I believe you struggle with emotional intelligence and balancing your own energy with that of others. You may have difficulty understanding your emotions and how they impact your relationships. This imbalance further contributes to the challenges you face in connecting with others in a healthy, sustainable way.

ᑭIᒪᗴ 2

For this pile, I sense that you experience a lot of emotional overwhelm and struggle with managing your emotions. There’s also a sense of manipulation involved. You come across as someone who can be very much a “my way or the highway” type of person. You easily feel attacked, and you have a lot of pride issues. You take things way too personally and can’t find a balance between allowing someone to express themselves without feeling like you’re being attacked. You take everything to heart, which makes you feel the need to fight and defend yourself. This leads to a lot of clashes with people because you can’t let things just be. You have a hard time accepting that some people will simply be the way they are, and you feel the need to assert your opinion and your will. You know that certain people are not going to agree with you, yet you still engage with them, even if they’re problematic.

You also have a passive-aggressive side. Instead of directly expressing how you feel, you try to play it cool and act like everything is fine. But when you can’t take it anymore, you have emotional outbursts where you say a bunch of things you regret. You sometimes underestimate your ability to handle certain conversations or situations. You think you can handle them, but then they end up blowing up in your face. You are a very sensitive person, and you tend to absorb and internalize what others say emotionally, which leads to overthinking. This overthinking is part of why you can be passive-aggressive—you try to avoid conflict, but your emotions, at times, make you conflict-driven.

At the same time, you have a conflict-avoidant side, where you shut down, isolate yourself, and ghost people. You retreat into your own head, overthinking things while shutting everyone else out. This combination of being conflict-driven and conflict-avoidant makes you unpredictable. People don’t always know what to expect from you. You can be emotionally volatile, with mood swings that make it hard for others to know how to deal with you. You might not have strong boundaries because you struggle with controlling your moods. Some days, you show up as a cool, happy, engaging person, and other days, you’re crabby, distant, and don’t want to be bothered.

This unpredictability can drive people away. The sudden shift in your behavior can be jarring, and some people might find it too much to handle. You also have periods where you completely withdraw from others, not wanting to talk or interact with anyone. These inconsistencies in your behavior make it challenging for others to know how to approach or relate to you.

ᑭIᒪᗴ 3

For pile three, I feel like you often get stuck in life. There’s a lot of fear holding you back from broadening your horizons. You tend to be very secretive, and this secrecy deceives others, but it also holds you back. Instead of putting yourself out into the world, you hide in the shadows. By doing so, you miss opportunities. Even though you might want to start things, you don’t allow them to grow beyond the initial stage. You don’t give yourself enough time or patience to nurture the seeds, goals, and ideas you have because you quickly lose interest. You become apathetic too fast, and it seems like things no longer matter to you. You often tap out emotionally—getting fully invested one moment, then pulling away and acting distant the next. You tend to either isolate yourself too much or keep things too reserved.

You need to put yourself out into the world more, but you struggle to maintain your energy. You have moments of enthusiasm where you start goals or projects, but that energy fades quickly. As a result, you never reach the maturity needed to complete things, and you withdraw. You remain reserved, acting shy or indifferent, but deep down, you struggle with low confidence. You’re afraid of change, afraid of movement, and afraid of doing something different. You prefer the mundane, the routine, and you don’t know how to break out of it. There’s a fear of something going wrong, and you’re trying to protect yourself from what you perceive as potential upheaval, hurt, or pain. But in trying to protect yourself, you’re only protecting your ego, which means you’re not flourishing in the way you desire.

Your confidence is low, and you don’t believe in yourself enough. You don’t give yourself the stamina or time to endure the process and stages required to achieve your goals. You give up too easily and withdraw quickly. You don’t give yourself the patience to continue, and this keeps you stuck. By keeping yourself behind closed doors and withdrawing, you miss out on opportunities. It often takes dramatic situations to force you to face the truth because you’ve built up so many unresolved issues. You don’t feel confident in how you look, act, or what you do, and that’s holding you back.

You struggle with follow-through, which leads to abandoning things before completing them. This prevents you from reaching a point where you can truly put yourself out there and try new things. Instead, it’s the same monotonous routine, and your passion fizzles out quickly. You don’t have a strong grasp on sustaining things, and maintaining consistency seems to be a difficult aspect of your life. You need to adopt a more positive mindset, as it seems you struggle with confidence and with maintaining progress in your endeavors.

ᑭIᒪᗴ 4

For Pile 4, I feel like you hold on to the past too much, and that’s the main issue here. You have such an emotional attachment to the past that it’s hard for you to stay in the present moment and remain grounded. Instead, you often drift off into thoughts about past events. While it’s normal to feel nostalgic, you sometimes hold on to past attachments, seeing things through rose-colored glasses. This causes you to become overly emotionally attached, making it difficult to see things clearly.

Another thing I sense about you is that you overexert yourself. You tend to be very self-sacrificial and care about people deeply, but to your own detriment. Your emotional intensity when it comes to giving to others can be overwhelming because you might lack boundaries. You don’t know how to say no, take time for yourself, or stop when you’ve reached your limit. You don’t fully understand your limitations or know enough about yourself to set healthy boundaries, which leads to you taking on too much. You say yes too often and end up overburdened. Like Pile 3, you may start many things, and you have a lot of good ideas and goals, but following through is difficult. There’s a lack of drive to finish what you’ve started, and you struggle with patience and stamina when it comes to completing tasks.

It seems like you’re always going through something—facing conflict or challenges in your life that cause you to burn yourself out. You then have to dig yourself out of difficult situations, repeating this cycle. You might find yourself saying, “Now I’m finally in a good place,” only to burn out again and have to rebuild. This cyclical pattern can keep you stuck.

I also feel like it’s very hard for you to let go of the past and release people from your life, even if they’re toxic or unhealthy for you. It’s difficult for you to accept endings, and you often push your will too hard. Forcing yourself to endure struggles just to get what you want isn’t healthy, yet sometimes you’re willing to put yourself through instability because you believe you can come out of it. Even though you do manage to recover, you still hold on to emotional pain, which can lead to resentment. So, many of you are dealing with a deep well of resentment, which is not healthy. It’s hard for you to move past things and embrace change, even when it’s necessary. You tend to hoard emotions internally, and while you may not show it to others, you’re really going through a lot.

Speaking to others and freeing yourself from your attachment to the past could help you move forward, but letting go of things and dealing with change is challenging for you. This is a shadow aspect of yourself. When you avoid change, you end up stuck in a loop that you can’t escape. You need to take time for yourself, but it’s difficult for you to do so. You focus so much on others and external things that it’s hard for you to turn inward and focus on your true self.

[lamnwar]

Want my kids? // Kiyoshi Teppei x Fem!Reader

MDNI 18+ knb kinktober entry!!

A/N: this one wasn't based on any request, it's just me naturally being a slut for my husband teppei 🤰🏽 Context: something's been in Teppei's mind lately, and that is to stuff you so full that you eventually give him a kid. Warnings: Kiyoshi has a breeding kink, unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, creampie, mention of pregnancy and slight allusion to lactation kink

When you first introduced Teppei Kiyoshi to your friends and family, their judgement was unanimous: you better tie him down before it’s too late and you lose what may be – in all impartiality of course – the perfect husband. And you wouldn’t disagree, no. How can you? It doesn’t matter how you try to look at it, he just happens to fill all the requirements.

Nice? He’s a living teddy bear.

Smart? A true genius hiding behind the smile of an idiot.

Interesting? He has so many layers to his personality that you, yourself, might get lost trying to understand him.

Face card? He’s got it, a stereotypically handsome visage.

The body? You would never dare question his athleticism looking at him.

And his cock? ...Shit, you can cry for it.

You seriously lucked out, there is no denying that. Teppei is surely the kind of man that makes you stop in the middle of your rant on how much you hate men, just because you are reminded of his existence, and it goes against all that his peers are. Then again, he might be the exception that proves the rule. But that’s another debate that you won’t get into.

Not now, anyway, not when he’s come home with the need for you. Yet today is nothing special. It’s a day like every other, you’d say it might even be a tad more boring than usual. But the tall man’s mind is wired differently, and something with the way you look sitting on your couch, mindlessly looking for something to entertain your night, drives him nuts. He’s not too upfront about it, he knows that won’t take him that far. The most you can possibly do if he comes to you with a “hey babe, I’m feeling horny” is probably suck him, or let him finger you right there on the couch for a quick release of his desires. Not that you have any issue with getting properly fucked by him, but rather that he’s somewhat of a perfectionist on this front.

If Teppei Kiyoshi is having sex with his girlfriend, he’s doing it right.

No quickies, no half-assed attempts at an orgasm. No. He does things properly – there is no point to any of it if by the end you are not shaking and crying, thanking him for the cum he keeps stuffing in your pussy. That’s why his approach is meticulous, almost strategic with the way he talks to you first, genuinely happy to hear you talk about whenever. And then he sits by your side, arms pulling you to cocoon up in the comfort of his hold. It’s all soft and sweet, like him. Little after, he follows up with soft, almost innocent, kisses on your face. All you can do is smile like an idiot in love – which you are. With each contact of his lips on your skin, you can feel your heart race.

Before you know it, he’s got you thrown over his shoulder as if you’re made of chiffon, deep chuckle accompanying his steps to your room. He drops you on the mattress, making you giggle like a schoolgirl. You’d be embarrassed to act that way if you were with anyone else, but something with the way Teppei looks at you makes you feel disinhibited of all your shames.

Drunk on his kisses, on the taste of him as you make out languidly. The way he pushes his tongue against yours in a desperate attempt to get more of you, as if it’s even possible. And you pull him closer, closer, closer. It’s somewhat messy but it makes sense to you.

“Teppei, need you...” your desperate whispers are followed by the tugs on his shirt, urging him to let you feel his skin against yours.

He indulges in your demands, letting your hands roam the plain of his broad chest, taking him in. He’s so big, he could actually break you, you think. Yet, he’s always treated you with such reverence that it’s almost a funny contrast with his imposing figure. A force that would wreck you if you plead for him to, only so he can see that blissed out look on your face when he manages to make you feel heavenly.  Fuck, aren’t you a sight? Every second you spend touching him with burning desire drives him closer to pure insanity. Thoughts clouded by the idea of having you full of him – the whole process of watching you beg for more of his cum, as if it were a blessing to take it.

Maybe it is, Teppei ponders. His blood rushes straight to his dick at the simple thought of getting you pregnant. All full and round for him, bearing his offspring in the temple that is your body. Yeah, you’d be such a great mother, and he’d be such a loving father to your kids. He wants plenty of them, the essence of both of you carried out in what he already imagines to be the greatest children in the world. And he’ll make you his wife, too. Nothing makes him happier and harder than the thought of spending eternity loving you. Ah... if only he could do that, filling your sweet hole with his seed continuously, loving you more as you take it with much enthusiasm.

His fantasy ridden brain controls each of his moves, the hands that grip your waist to pull you closer to him, before trailing down to your cunt. Lips peppering your thighs with kisses and nips – he could stay there forever, between your legs. So close to your pussy, your pussy that engulfs his fingers with appetite.

“Ngh! Teppei, fuck...”

“I know baby” he coos, thumb finding your aching clitoris to tease, “I love it so much when you soak my fingers like that.”

You whimper, the way he pushes his long digits in your gummy walls setting your body on fire. He can’t help the smile on his lips when you force him to get closer, just so you can drown your sweet noises in kisses. He swallows each moan that rolls off your tongue, his thumb rolling your clit like it was a toy for him to enjoy. Each stroke making your hips buck forward to meet his big hand. You look at the way it covers your entire pussy, a warm hold on it as he lets his expert fingers make you squirm.

“Gonna come on my fingers, aren’t ya?” he chuckles, “go ahead, make a mess.”

“Yeah... shit!”

You hiss, seeing stars for a few seconds as you release around his digits, hips moving frantically as he keeps circling your aching bud, solely for the pleasure of hearing the cute mewls that leave your pretty lips.

“So pretty when you come, honey” he hums, covering your skin with kisses as his mouth trails up your torso.

You can barely utter any words – he’s done barely anything that he already has you speechless. He smiles, a lingering stare on your fucked out expression, from where his head rest on your chest. You let out a soft laugh; nothing is particularly funny, you just happen to be incredibly happy at this very moment. Something with the feeling of his brown locks around your fingers as he kisses your chest, then suckle on your nipples – one after the other, Teppei doesn’t play favourites – just to draw out your honeyed sighs.

He can’t stop thinking about it. The idea of one day seeing your breasts full and tender as he’ll be in this exact same predicament, except that he’ll also be blessed by the delicious taste of your milk on his tongue, added to the salt of your skin. How can he not pop a boner when he’s a prey to such thoughts? And not a single sign on your face that you’ll ever say no to his intentions.

That’s a certitude.

“Maybe I shouldn’t wear a condom tonight, what do you say?” he mumbles against your skin.

Truth be told, he doesn’t need an answer, he already knows it. You’ll say yes, evidently. He can hear the thumping of your heart when he brings up the idea. Of course, you’ll get soaking wet at the idea of taking him raw, everything about it is enticing.

“Yeah, wanna feel you.” You smile.

It’s all he needs to hear before he flips you over to your stomach, gently pulling your hips up to meet his pelvis. His clothed erection poking at your ass, making you impatient.

“Gonna fill you so much babe, you’re gonna be a mommy.” He says, the sweetest smile on his face. The idea makes him elated, hell, he’s already leaking pre when he finally removes his last pieces of clothing. “You want it, right?”

“Uh-huh!” you’re too eager, it’s almost funny.

Your butt pushing against him just to feel his thick member against you. He laughs, watching you with awe. It’s truly heartwarming, how much you adore his dick. He rests at your entrance, nicely nestled between your folds. So pretty. Your arousal from your previous orgasm and his pre-cum mixing on his tip like colours mix on the brush of a painter. And he might be an artist tonight, one who can't wait to paint your walls white.

“Gonna give you what you want, then.” He slowly sinks in, watching the way your back arches as a reaction. He leans forward so his words can fall directly in your ear. “I love you, you know that?”

What a malicious bastard, you think as the words travel to your brain. He knows damn well that nothing makes your pussy clench as much as words of love from him. He can feel it perfectly, your tightness around his thick cock, as he pushes deeper. Pleasure written all over his face, he lets his groans echo around, creating a symphony with the creaks of the bed and the slap of his pelvis against your ass.

“So fucking hot...”

He can’t help but grip your hips tightly, mesmerized by the way you welcome his thrusts with so much enthusiasm, whines blessing his ears as you grip the sheets.

“Teppei, love when you fuck me!”

“Yeah?” he chuckles, pulling your head back to kiss your cheek lovingly. “You’re so sweet.”

Glossy eyes look at him, a filter of desire covering your irises as you struggle to hold up. He fucks you so good, it’s insane. Feeling him inside of you with nothing in between, the direct contact of his dick with the honeyed walls of your cunt, letting you take in the sensation of every vein, and the squish of his tip, so close to your cervix that it makes you wince.

You can’t even put words on how you feel, brain clouded by his moves. He knows you so well that he’s got the pace and depth mastered in the way that would make you squirm in a few minutes, feeling your body plead for a form a release – anything, really. It’s almost embarrassing, how fast you’ve come to that state. You would like to pin it on your endless love for him – after all, isn’t love the greatest aphrodisiac? But it’s clearly not it. It’s the full knowledge that he’s only fucking you this good with the intent of getting you pregnant. It may be twisted to some extent to come just for that reason, but the idea of being fucked so good that you end up bearing his child is certainly what brings you to your orgasm this time.

The brunette stills for a moment, surprised to say the least. He’s not used to you getting there just that easily – if anything, he’s just getting started. But here you are, drooling on the pillow below your face, too sensitive to take more, yet unable of drawing away from him. And when he reprises his movements, all you can do is jolt, back round as you instinctively pull away.

“Come on pretty, I’m not over yet” he coos, pulling your hips back to him, before digging deep inside you again. “Just a bit more, you wanna take my cum, don’t you?”

“Yeah...”

He laughs softly, pressing his chest to your bare back as he pushes the hair away from your face, just to see that god-sent look on your face. Your quivering lips that mewl out his name in need, and the light that dances in your eyes, speaking your deepest thoughts loud enough for him to understand how much you crave him. He lets his fingers linger on your bottom lip, swiping the drool away. You hum, kissing the pad of his digits, before taking them in your mouth.

“Shit.”

Teppei’s cock twitches at the sight. It is such a blessing falling upon him, your tongue swerving around his fingers languidly, the faint taste of your pussy on them as you melt in the soft, slow back-and-forth of his dick inside of you. It’s hypnotizing, something he cannot take his eyes away from, until you spit out his digits with a breath. He grits his teeth, holding your face to look at you as he picks up the rhythm. You gasp, barely able to maintain eye contact – but it doesn’t matter, because you can still feel his brown eyes taking in every inch of your face.

His arm wraps around your waist, keeping your limp, exhausted body from giving up. Just a bit more, he needs it so much... just a bit more of you.

But you’re oversensitive and he’s doing you so good that you can’t even think about trying to delay your high even more. No, the only thing in your mind is him. Teppei Kiyoshi, and the eventuality of being completely full of his semen.

“Fuck... Teppei!” is all you can properly voice out between your wanton moans and desperate gasps.

“Ah!”

He’s breathless, your cunt milking him of every single drop of his liquid that he can gift you. The incessant contractions of your walls as you navigate through your orgasm making him shake slightly, holding you tighter – if that’s even possible – as he keeps his cock deep inside you.

“That’s good, take it.” He mutters against the skin of your shoulder.

But he can’t get enough. Words fail to transcribe the way he feels, it’s a sort of heaven he can’t even believe he has the privilege to access. And it’s you, it’s feeling himself spill in you, that is the high he wishes to chase forever. Getting you to carry his children, as many as you can take with that same elated smile on your precious face.

“One more, babe, is that alright? You’ll make such a pretty mum.”

[againaweasel]

You have to stop saying things like of course I support trans people; I ship Wolfstar. Just pluck that phrase and anything like it directly from your vocabulary and throw it away. 

Not only because it’s just an odd way of looking at fandom participation (fandom isn’t activism, and your preferred ships even less so) thats leading to complacency within the fandom and the rise of the phrase ‘In a Marauder Way, but also because it denies the real experiences of the people in the fandom in quite a huge way. 

[[I’ve written and scrapped and re-written this over and over, hesitant to post it lest it appear like ship-bashing, which is so far from the point they’re not on the same continent. Wolfstar just happens to be the one I see this argument with the most, and as the 2nd most popular HP ship, it’s the mainstream consensus.I might even regret posting this, we’ll see]]

I can only speak for myself here, but it’s an uncomfortable thing that a lot of the transphobia I’ve faced in this fandom has come not from out-and-proud bigots (though they do crop up) but from people with things like (Wolfstar Version) in their name. Sometimes, even in the name of ‘protecting’ Wolfstar, like some odd transphobic crusade. 

Perhaps it’s a case of if you’re in The Group you don’t see the attitudes to the people outside it, or maybe it’s just the desire to smooth out the fandoms edges – but I have been misgendered and called slurs and told that my identity doesn’t count and that I’d be better dead and all that fun stuff over the years by the same people who expected me to thank them based on the fictional ship they like. 

And I’m not saying that to garner sympathy or anything like that, only that when this happens and then the phrase ‘of course I support trans people, I ship wolfstar’ gets tossed around, it feels like a strange kick in the teeth. Because what it does then is reiterate, even accidentally, this idea that if you behave right in this space – if you like the right stuff, read the right fics, share the same hcs, EVEN say things the right way – then you deserve your identity respected, and if you don’t then that’s your fault. Because all Wolfstar shippers are so supportive of trans people, you’re just not toeing the right line, whatever that may be. 

I guess my point here is that Wolfstar shippers are not a monolith, and so you can’t base your own morality and allyship on being part of such a huge subsection of the fandom. You can’t guarantee that everyone shares your morals or responds to people in the same way that you would, based on a ship – especially when the fandom is built on hcs about mostly cis men. When you try to do this, you brush past and bury the reality for trans people in the fandom in a way that’s uncomfortable to watch.

I know that most, if not everyone, who says or thinks things like of course I support trans people, I ship wolfstar are saying it from a good place that genuinely supports trans people. But it’s just not a helpful thing to say, and as the fandom inevitably gets bigger with the new HP show, it’s going to be important to rein in the spread of such thoughts and do it quickly. 

You can’t address issues in the fandom if you’re trying to convince yourself those issues can’t possibly exist to begin with…if that makes sense. So, just toss the whole line of thinking away. 

Of course, I support trans people; trans people are people.

[daistea]

regarding the possessive obsessive bf mithrun i imagine its to be expected that someone who hasnt had any desires for ?? years would get kinda intense abt the things theyre cultivating the ability to feel desire for !

RIGHT?? take my hand, walk into the light with me..

//Spoilers

Honestly, I headcanon that he was like that before the dungeon too. To an extent. There’s this post I like that implies that Mithrun didn’t actually truly love the elf girl from before, he just wanted to possess her because, you know, insecurity and complexes and brother issues.

He wanted to be loved, to possess, to feel worthy. I think that definitely could lead into possessiveness.

the most gorgeous boy in the world 🫣 kiss kiss smooch smooch, my little walking red flag

Anyway, post-demon those feelings go away. He still has emotions and a personality obviously. There’s still glimpses of who he was, but he doesn’t care about the old insecurities. They’re not there anymore. The inferiority complex is gone. He’s just Mithrun, demon killing machine, living only for one thing. I mean it’s canon that he’s already obsessive.

(I know the word ‘obsessed’ being used here is probably just translation liberties, but the idea still remains. If it’s genuinely ‘obsessed’ in Japanese though, I’ll be very pleased.)

I do think it’s possible to have a relationship with him at this point, but it won’t be conventional— that’s true of any relationship with him at any point in his life though. You’ll always be second. He’s not as invested, not as possessive, but I do think that’s just a natural part of his personality as well and it would still pop up on occasion.

THE MOST EVEN GORGEOUSER BOY IN THE WORLD 🥺 kiss kiss smooch smooch

Post-canon Mithrun has decided to live, to help make the broth in a stew or soup, to find use in himself. Yay!

I like the idea of Mithrun deciding to spend his life with someone simply because he enjoys their company, but my favorite thought is him developing a new desire— it’s not a simple desire for a relationship, though. It’s a desire for you. It’s very specific.

When Mithrun develops a new desire, he can’t ignore it. He needs it. He needs every ounce of it. If this desire is for a specific person, then he wants every ounce of them. This possessiveness doesn’t necessarily come from insecurity or inferiority like it used to. It’s from desperation and excitement. He trusts you. If he gets jealous it’s not because he thinks you’re going to cheat, it’s because he sees it and thinks, “They’re mine. Nobody else is allowed to have them.” It’s offensive that someone would even try to take you from him.

He wants his desire close to him. He’s clingy. He’s absolutely shameless. He doesn’t hide his feelings, but he doesn’t really say them out loud either, that’s just not how he rolls. He shows his feelings through actions. Are those actions genuinely unhinged sometimes? Yes.

You’ve got a friend who’s kinda worried that this elf guy is getting too attached? Mithrun has Cithis brain wash your friend into supporting your relationship so they don’t try to get in the way. Is that morally wrong? Don’t care didn’t ask

You want to do something very dangerous? Too bad, you’re getting tied to a chair so you can’t leave. Kick and scream all you want, he’s not risking losing you.

And he does it all with a straight face and no dramatics, too. They’re very normal things for him to do, obviously.

He’s very normal about you, obviously.

He wants every bit of your attention, every touch, every second, every year you have to offer. Does he say that out loud? No. But he wants it.

And when Mithrun actually wants something, he’s going to meticulously tear apart the stars one by one to get it. He hasn’t really wanted anything in 40-ish years. Doesn’t he deserve it?

[croik]

Am I an insane person or does Malevolent kind of have like. A thing with queer coded villains. Not in a positive or reclamatory way either; it genuinely reminds me of like, old Disney movies and 2000s anime where all the most evil and inhuman male characters would also be written as campy and effeminate. And it seems like Harlan has no idea that he's doing it which is... interesting...

Like. Kayne is the most obvious example ofc. He's flamboyant and flirty and gives John and Arthur pet names. And at first I really liked it but the more it became clear that Kayne was a major antagonist and not just a mysterious neutral actor the more it started to put a bad taste in my mouth. It honestly still could have been okay if Harlan had maybe leaned more into the idea of Kayne and Arthur being parallels/foils but that ended up not really being a thing at all. Atp in the podcast I just get this really strange vibe where Kayne is simultaneously an incredibly violent, deceptive and predatory individual, and he's being written as basically canonically attracted to Arthur and it just. Seems like those two things are kind of connected. Again maybe I'm seeing things that aren't there but it seems like there are some "predatory creepy gay without boundaries" stereotypes being expressed here.

Similar issue with the Butcher. He actually has the closest to any sort of textual queerness of any Malevolent character, since he "falls in love" with his victims. Ummmm I kind of thought we had progressed past the "gay/queer serial killer who has an erotic fixation on the people he murders" trope. Apparently not. Again Harlan almost does something interesting/subversive by making our Perfect Protagonist have a weird connection/companionship with the Butcher, but in the end it seems like everyone agrees that they didn't actually have that much in common, obviously Arthur is unequivocally morally better than him, and then the Butcher gets his head exploded.

It's been longer since I listened to seasons 1-3 but Larson definitely had some similar queer-coding going on with him, as well as some other minor villains (Kellin comes to mind). It just seems like a pattern of Arthur being contrasted with characters who are not just morally corrupt but also written as (subtextually sexually) predatory or creepy, especially towards Arthur. And then Arthur is disgusted by their unnatural desires and heroically defeats or evades them. I could be making something out of nothing but it just feels... icky.

You are absolutely not an insane person of any caliber, this is something fandom has murmured about for a long time! It is definitely a thing in the show that just about any character that encounters Arthur becomes immediately obsessed with him. When it's an ally, like Noel, Oscar, even Daniel and Alia, they are almost immediately convinced of his goodness and go to great lengths not just to help him, but to reassure him that he's A Good Man (tm). But when it's the villains? It's this invasive flirtatious thing, where they're threatening not just to kill him but to lock him up in their basement or something, intimate tortures and such. (Larson maybe less so - he seems more like Southern Gentleman approach but much less handsy than Kayne and Collins). And then there's Antoine, whooo boy. If Antoine really is meant to be gay, and thus was also gay in Arthur's prime timeline when he was a Supervillain? Yeesh I don't want to think of the connotations from CoC1.

I don't believe it's intentionally homophobic, necessarily. I think these villains all represent pretty common horror tropes from over the decades, and Malevolent just co-ops them without thinking that deeply about it. In the same way that the entrance to the Witch's home is a smelly vagina wall: vagina walls have been gross in horror movies and games forever! It's here because it's a thing that all people find gross, right?? I don't think it's any different to him than shoving Arthur full of maggots, or the guy in Deviser having his fingernails torn off. These are default things people are scared of you can plop into almost any horror plot.

But in 2025 it's not wrong to want a writer to actually think about the greater context of the "things everyone thinks is scary" they put into their work, like straight men being threatened with sexual violence, or old women living in filth. Yes horror has been here hundreds of times before. But does it need to be here again? When the sexual violence is the only overt queerness on display and half of all women on the show are old and live in filth?

And of course, the fandom is doing really deranged and kinky shit with these villains, which I 100000000% support. But I don't think he fully grasps the difference between "fans making things legit queer for their own amusement and wish fulfillment" and "the creator playing at making things queer because it's creepy."

Thanks for the ask anon <3 It's very interesting stuff to talk about, especially as a queer person who sometimes writes horror.

[the-ghost-king]

Genuinely curious, do you actually consider Nico to be good rep (taking both HoO and ToA into account), or is it more like "he's trash rep, but he's MY trash" kind of a thing? Or nostalgia? Sorry if I sounded rude, but yeah genuinely curious because I can't figure that out.

Initially, I was going to write a sort of essay for this post but life has kind of gotten in the way and I would rather just answer it for you: I do actually think Nico is good representation, personally.

I think especially for the time period in which it was revealed he was gay and what other media looked like at the time. I like HoO and ToA and I like the way HoO handles Nico's character development, and the way ToA handles his character I have some issues with but those are more or less personal and not founded in anything specific. My issue is I think TSaTS cheapens not only Nico's character and worsens him as representation, but cheapens the entire series. I think TSaTS falls victim to "the love simon effect", this video is a little older and it's been a while since I watched it but it does a good job on capturing the nuance of the situation (of love simon) and reflects feelings similiar to mine if I recall accurately.

Nico is one of the few book characters I consider to be "representation" that I engage with regularly, and thats really only because he was relatively early "out of the gate" so to speak.

Personally though, and I'm going to try and keep this concise because it's not the point and it's not your fault nor directed at you (I'm just soapboxing for a minute). I kind of dislike this idea that all queer characters need to be viewed through the lens of "representation" yes that perspective has a time and a place but I care a lot more about authenticy and realism in these portrayals and I feel like Nico is well rounded, realistic, and authentic when compared to other people I know. A lot of media focused on queer characters is about their coming out story (which is an experience for many personal reasons I wont get into i dont relate to, but the one I have mentioned here before is I was outed more than once before I had the chance to come out), or it focuses on how "I might be gay/bi/trans but I'm just like you!" but for me I find that experience foreign as well, it may be unpopular to say but I am never the queer person who is going to fit into the normatives of society and I never have. Nico, as a character, in my opinion is already a leg up on a wide variety of other "representation" solely because his entire story isn't about him being gay, it's about who he is and what he does someone who happens to be gay. TSaTS breaks a lot of established rules for his character and not in my opinion, not in the best way, but in a way that is almost like as they were writing the piece they kept looking over their shoulder at Twitter and wrote from a place of "don't cancel me". Unfortunately, for me, if I was a book character the way I experience my queerness would absolutely get me canceled or be labeled as "too confusing" or "not marketable" so I preferred Nico before TSaTS because his story was a story of queerness I was more familiar with among other things.

I left out half my thoughts and think I still failed at keeping that concept concise, sorry nonnie! Also , no rudeness at all! You framed your question from a place of genuine desire for knowledge, you are totally good! Sorry if I accidentally got a little too ranty!

[igglemouse]

Week 2 ~ Blood Simoleons (2.3) ~ Sunday

Today marks the start of my second week here in DSV and I can feel it in my bones, it WILL be a big week. My face debut waits for me and if I play my part well I do believe a few more doors will open for me. My next step is to just make a appearance in a small role on a television show but for now, I'll settle for having my face in a laundry detergent commercial.

As for Bruno, bless is little puppy heart, I'm sure it is a big week for him as well because he's but a dog and I feel like dogs are happy 99% of the time. He sure seems happy having a ball that is bigger than his entire head.

The ding of a few messages are a reminder that this week, the week which for me holds so much promise, could go awry. It's Carina. Which, normally isn't an issue, but after our last conversation I can't help but wonder if there's hidden meanings behind whatever she says. Was she talking about grocery shopping or contraband shipments? Coffee dates or cartel meetings? It's impossible for me to know because to ask would put her in danger. So the best I can do is offer little in reply.

This day, this week, this season, this year, is Mines. Carina is my sister but I will do my best to not let the dark shadow of her life cover the bright lights that belong to me. I have a performance to give and people to entertain and this next one is the biggest one of my life simply because it is my next one. Each role is a stepping stone to the next one and the makeup chair is where the transformation starts. time to get into hair and makeup and start the show!

And so I give the performance of...well, it wasn't great. The broom twirl, for example, ends up bopping me on the head. It wasn't necessary, in fact, it wasn't even called for, I tried to improvise and perhaps tried to do a little too much...but I stuck to the script for the rest of the shoot.

I feel like I deliver the lines well until I see the rather polite smile on the face of the director and not so much of an applause after the shooting ends. This, this was just business for everyone involved. There was no passion here, no desire to 'be memorable' and just a desire to 'get simoleons'. Everyone, but me, was here for a check.

It is okay, at the very least, this commercial features my face which is a step up from the first one. My resume also grows.

Home feels like sanctuary after my minor failure and tending to my garden brought me back down to earth. It's important to remain humble, no matter the success sure, but also the failure. It grounds you.

Pulling out a few weeds here and there was a reminder that even the most beautiful things, like this bush of lilacs, come with a few thorns that need cutting.

Perfection is a myth. A mirage that shimmers away right as you think you will reach it, always teasingly one step away when in reality it was miles away. What matters is resilience, grind, and hustle, and I have more than enough of that.

You guys remember Eliana? Eliana Nores? The shy girl I met at the music video audition? She wants to hang out and come over and I'm more than happy to tell her my address. In this city it feels like most friendships will be transactional as everyone tries to step over everyone else for a bit of fame and simoleons, so, if I meet someone like Eliana who just wants to hang, a genuine friend, well then not much is worth more than that.

I need a bit of comfort food today and what better to fill that role than a tofu taco? Ok, it's less than a regular taco because of the whole 'tofu' thing but it's still a taco and that always makes a meh day just a little better.

Bruno watches me cook and eat and whines the whole time. This is just a thing he does, always begging for food and it is very very hard to say no to the little guy. I just might spoil him.

I do get a chance at redemption in the form of another commercial. This time, I'll be selling medicine. The pay is better, the role is a little bit bigger, and I have the chance to play a doctor. Perhaps it might even lead to a part on one of those medical dramas? One can hope!

Perhaps this is more my speed but it is at least another opportunity.

Eliana arrives with a bit more confidence in her aura. When I met her at the audition she was so filled with nervous energy but I can kind of understand her comfort now. I'm a friend and she's also not auditioning in a skin tight bodysuit.

"This is a pretty nice spot," she observes, taking in my small little spot with sincere appreciation.

"Its what I could afford," I admit, settling into the sole and lonely couch that I own. "Not much room for guests but-"

"It is all you need!" she finishes for me.

"So, any new gigs?" I ask although I feel like I already know the answer.

"No, no, I'm not an actress really? More of a model."

Ah yes, I do remember that about her but it then leads me to another question. "What kind of model? What made you try out for that video?"

"I dunno," she shrugs and seems sincerely asking herself this same question. "Just seemed like a chance to spread my wings and such. I usually do small time modeling you know? Like, I'm that girl wearing that outfit when you shop online for clothes and stuff, nothing major."

"Ahhhh," yes, I could see that. Her face gracing websites and catalogue, beautiful in that accessible kind of way. Approachable and yet extraordinary. None of these are insults of course, she's stunning, but it is in that sort of clay mold kind of girl like...hmm, no matter the style or theme I bet she'd look good in any outfit, if that makes sense? I don't think I could pull off a goth look, for example, but her? Everything looks good on her, that's what I mean, perfect for that kind of modeling work."Have you taken any acting classes or..."

"No no, nothing like that! I don't think I'll be trying out for any more videos! I'll just stick to modeling!"

"Well, you never know," I offer gently because I could see the confidence leaking out of her, almost literally. "Modeling can lead to small roles, which can lead to bigger ones. Never try to understand the 'logic' of this industry."

After she leaves I head straight for my bed, my mind already focused on my big pharma commercial. Thinking of the comedic beats I need to hit and just recognizing that this is another opportunity to prove myself.

This is a city that never sleeps but the same is true of its dreamers. Instead we just close our eyes and keep reaching for the stars...

Index ~ Next