#biggest simp to ever exist

[billsbae]

atla tweets but it's just zuko being a simp

[littlemissgloomexe]

Some redrawz of GIR in feminine clothing becauze bigender GIR rulez… Alzo look how cute he lookz!!

PINK BLOOD CW!!

Sorry GIR… I waz the one nose bleeding……

[juleswritesstuff]

The Pillow Contract

James Potter seems to have found the best pillow on earth. You.

james potter x fem!reader

warnings: none

James Potter liked to consider himself a man of simple pleasures. 

A good meal ? Heaven. A lazy Sunday spent wrapped in a blanket burrito ? Perfection. A well-timed, sarcastic remark ? Chef’s kiss.

But above all else, there was one thing James had come to love more than anything in the world.

Your chest.

Well, you as a whole, of course. Body and soul alike. He was not a bloody prick, thank you very much. 

He loved you for you, not just for the flawless vessel that carried your golden heart and your beautiful mind.

But he couldn't help the way he was especially drawn to the perfection that peeked from your neckline when your shirt hung a little lower than usual.

And he also could not, in good conscience, ignore the life-altering comfort that was that perfection.

Now, to be clear, James wasn’t just some guy obsessed with his girlfriend’s body –okay, maybe he was a little addicted. 

But, come on, who could blame him when you were said girlfriend ? 

He was supposed to be a bit obsessed with you, right ? That’s what every person in their sane, right and helplessly in love mind would be about their partner, no ? 

Was that just him ? 

Ok, fine, maybe he was a bit of a simp (read, you had him at your feet). So what ? 

He liked it exactly like that. Sue him.

But this ? This was different. 

This wasn’t just about attraction or some primal male instinct. No, this was about something sacred.

This was about comfort.

The kind that he’d accidentally stumbled upon one evening when you had curled up next to him on the couch, and his head had somehow –miraculously– ended up resting right on your chest.

That’s when he had discovered it.

The Holy Grail of pillows. The pinnacle of all headrests.

Your chest was perfect. 

Warm. Soft. Inviting.

It had been life-changing. Existence-altering. World-stopping.

And in that moment, with his head resting against the softest, most heavenly cushion known to mankind, and your heart beating under his ear like a lullaby, James had made a decision.

He was never going back to regular pillows again.

Ever.

The problem was, he didn’t exactly know how to turn this into a permanent arrangement without looking like an absolute fool.

Which, really, was ironic, because James didn’t mind acting like the biggest dumbass in the world when it came to you. Not even a tiny bit.

The man had zero shame, and zero chill when you were involved.

If he had to beg ? Done.

If he had to bribe you with kisses ? Oh no, how awful.

If he had to declare his undying devotion in front of his friends and suffer their relentless teasing ? Call Sirius and Remus over, he was ready to suffer.

If he had to wear one of those, frankly quite obnoxious --yes, even for him-- ‘I ❤️ My Girlfriend’ shirts in public just because you wanted him to suffer a bit for forgetting the chores ? Consider it his new favorite outfit.

He’d do anything and everything –yes, even sacrificing his dignity in front of Pads and Moony– if it meant putting a smile on your face (and making you agree to be used as a headrest for the rest of your life. But let’s just say that was a teeny, tiny, wonderful bonus if the case ever came to be).

Tonight was his chance, he told himself.

You were already curled up on the couch, wearing one of his hoodies, your legs tucked beneath you as you scrolled through your phone. The dim lighting of the room cast a soft glow over you, and James took a moment to appreciate the scene. 

Because, honestly ? You looked really good.

Too good.

Like, unfairly good.

The hoodie –his hoodie, the one he had technically claimed as his favorite, but which spent more time on your body than his closet– was slightly oversized on you, slipping off one shoulder in a way that made his brain short-circuit for a second.

This was his moment.

You were comfortable. The couch was comfortable. 

And your chest ? Well, that was a level of bliss he had yet to find anywhere else in the world.

Time to execute: Operation Smothered by Heaven.

Ok, the name was a little ridiculous. But, to his defence, he had been a little distracted while thinking about it –the dress you were wearing mysteriously met the floor not even five minutes after he had taken a glimpse of you– and his brain had refused to work at his full potential.

Something that he absolutely couldn’t let happen now. 

Not when the fate of his comfort and sanity was at such a high risk.

That’s why he casually –so casually– stretched like a giant cat just waking up from a nap, letting out an exaggerated yawn before –still ever so nonchalantly, of course– leaning closer.

And would you look at that ? His head, as if drawn by an invisible magnetic force he absolutely had no control on –God forbid– found its way to your chest.

It was seamless. 

Flawless execution.

Absolutely fucking nailed that.

He gave himself a mental high five.

Operation Smothered by Heaven: officially successful.

“Wow. Smooth” you blinked down at him, amused.

James grinned but didn’t move. Not even an inch. Nope. 

He had claimed his rightful place, and there was no going back now.

“What can I say ? Gravity is a powerful thing” he purred, his voice smug, his eyes half-lidded like a cat who had just found the warmest sunspot in the house.

“Ah, I see. So this is all gravity’s fault, then ?”

“Absolutely” he confirmed, burrowing his face in just a little more “I have no control over it. Pure science”

You snorted, shaking your head, but you didn’t push him away. 

Of course you didn’t.

If anything, you shifted slightly, letting your arm drape around his back, your fingers absentmindedly tracing along his spine. He hummed in approval, his whole body melting against yours like ice under the warm sunlight of a summer’s day.

Because the thing James didn’t know –or, at the very least, seemed to forget– was that he wore his heart on his sleeve. Always.

James Potter and secret scheming ? Not a good match. 

Not a match at all, actually. But you still liked watching him try.

And with the way he had been ogling you for the past week, it really wasn’t hard to figure out what had been brewing in that ridiculously pretty head of his.

His thoughtful frown, the way his brows scrunched together, his deep-in-thought lip-biting. James had looked like he was trying to crack some highly classified government code.

Except the code in question was you.

Or, more specifically, that area right below your neck that seemed to steal his attention more times then it should've been considered healthy.

Subtle, he was not.

He had been studying you. Analyzing the way your sweaters dipped lower when you leaned forward, the way the fabric of your shirts clung to your curves, the way–

God.

James had the audacity to look like he was pondering the meaning of life when, really, all he was trying to find was an excuse.

Funny how he could’ve just asked.

It wasn’t like you would have refused him.

Hell, you didn’t even think you possessed the ability to refuse him. To refuse him anything, really.

But your smitten and extremely down-bad behavior when it came to your boyfriend was a topic for another time.

James let out a deep, satisfied sigh.

“You know” he murmured, voice slightly muffled as he nuzzled closer “I think I’ve discovered something important”

“Oh ?”

“Mhm” he tilted his head up, his expression dead serious. Like a man delivering a life-changing revelation “Your chest ? Best pillow I’ve ever used”

You raised an eyebrow, a quiet grin making its way onto your mouth. “I should be flattered, I think”

“You should be honored” he corrected, his lips quirking into a lazy smirk “I mean, it’s a very competitive market. But yours ? Easily top-tier”

You rolled your eyes, but you couldn’t hide the smile tugging at your lips. “Is that right ?”

James nodded solemnly. 

“Hell yeah, baby. I’d even write a five-star Yelp review if that were a thing”

You let out a soft laugh and slid your fingers into his hair, gently scratching at his scalp.

James immediately melted.

He let out a low, contented hum, eyes slipping shut, the tension in his body dissolving completely. You thought if he was a cat, he would’ve started purring.

“Mmh. Keep doing that, and I might never get up” he mumbled, voice already laced with drowsiness.

“Wouldn’t mind that” you teased.

Because, really, who in their right mind would complain about this ?

No one, that's who.

And surely not you.

James hummed in response, his arms tightening around your waist burying himself further into you. You could feel the steady rise and fall of his breathing, the warmth of his body seeping into yours. 

His lips brushed absentmindedly against your collarbone –a barely-there press of warmth that sent a quiet shiver down your spine.

This. This was perfection.

Then, because James Potter simply could not help himself, he tilted his head up again.

“So, uh... just out of curiosity. How often do you think I can get away with this ?”

You smirked. “That depends”

“On ?”

“How well you behave”

James’ eyes darkened slightly, though amusement still played at the edges. 

“Define behave” his voice dropped, all smooth and teasing, like he could coax an answer out of you if he said it just right.

You arched a brow, pretending to think. 

“Well, let’s see. No stealing the blankets at night. No pretending you don’t hear me when I ask you to grab something from the kitchen. And definitely no distracting me when I’m trying to get work done”

James gasped, offended.

“That last one is unreasonable and you know it”

You laughed, shaking your head. “Oh, is it ?”

“Yes. It is literally part of my rights as your boyfriend to distract you”

You hummed, pretending to ponder your decision.

“Well, if we can do nothing about that…” your hand cupped his cheek, slender fingers applying a gentle pressure to lift his face up from that cocoon of warmth he had nestled himself into.

He blinked. “I-wait. What ?”

Before he could fully register what was happening, you leaned down and captured his lips in a slow, lazy kiss.

James melted.

Like, gone. Out of commission. Absolute goner.

The smug confidence he had a second ago ? Obliterated.

His hands, which had been lazily resting at your waist, tightened, pulling you closer like he never wanted to let go. One of them trailed up your spine, fingers tangling into your hair, holding you there like this was oxygen and he needed it to breathe.

You sighed against his lips, feeling the way he shuddered, the way his grip on you tightened, like he was physically trying to keep himself from falling apart.

Like you had just ruined him.

And maybe you had.

Because when you pulled back just enough to catch your breath, James just blinked at you, dazed and utterly wrecked, lips still parted like he hadn’t quite caught up with reality yet.

You bit back a smirk.

Unbelievable.

How had this man made a full-time career out of turning you into putty, and yet one well-placed kiss had him looking like he’d just been personally blessed by the universe ?

You dragged your fingers lazily through his curls, watching the way his lashes fluttered at the sensation, the slow, dopey grin tugging at his lips.

Completely gone.

You tilted your head, murmuring teasingly against his mouth “Was that up to your standards, Mr. Five-Star Review ?”

James, still grinning –and still absolutely useless– just nodded.

"Five stars ? That was worth the entire Milky Way, baby"

You let out a laugh, and he practically glowed at the sound, his fingers flexing against your waist like he wanted to bottle it.

Then, before you could say anything else, he tilted his head, brushing his nose against yours in that infuriatingly sweet way of his.

"You know-" he murmured, voice all warm and syrupy "-if this is part of my reward system, I promise to be so good"

You smirked, fingers tracing idle patterns into the back of his neck. “Do you now ?”

James nodded solemnly, though the grin he was fighting gave him away.

“The best. Model citizen. Proper gentleman. Will hold doors, carry bags, call you milady unironically if I have to”

You snorted. Loudly.

"Now that, I need to see"

He hummed, tilting his head up like he was about to deliver the most profound statement of his life.

“Mmh. Maybe after another kiss”

Your eyes narrowed playfully. “That so ?”

He nodded again, already leaning in, his lips curling mischievously.

You let your fingers drag slowly down the back of his neck, feeling the way James shivered under your touch.

The moment stretched, thick with something warm and electric, the air between you charged in that intoxicating way it always was whenever you teased him like this.

You leaned in deliberately, lips hovering just over his, close enough that you could feel the ghost of his breath, the heat radiating off his skin.

James, for all his usual smugness, stilled, his lazy smirk faltering into something softer, deeper. His lips parting slightly, his pupils dark and expectant.

Waiting.

Wanting.

You let your gaze drop to his lips, watching as his tongue darted out just once, a quick, unconscious flick, like he was already tasting the kiss before it happened.

And, God, he was beautiful like this.

All that usual bravado stripped down to this, his sharp edges melted, his hands twitching slightly where they rested on your hips, fighting the urge to pull you closer.

His restraint was admirable.

His patience ?

Well. That was something you just had to test.

You leaned in that final inch –only for your lips to land on his cheek instead.

Soft. Chaste. Infuriating.

James let out a dramatic, suffering groan, his head thunking back against the cushions.

“Tease” he mumbled, voice hoarse, his hands finally losing their battle as they gripped your waist, fingers pressing into your sides like he was physically holding back the urge to grab your face and kiss you properly.

You pulled back just enough to grin down at him, impossibly pleased with yourself.

“What ?” you asked innocently, tilting your head “You asked for a kiss. You didn’t specify where, love”

He cracked one eye open, glowering.

“Oh, that’s dirty” he grumbled, before huffing dramatically and rolling onto his back, taking you with him.

You yelped as you landed against his chest, sprawled across him, your laughter cut off when his arms wrapped around you, pinning you against him with the strength of a human vice grip.

“James-”

“Nope” he said, shoving his face into your neck like a petulant child, muffling his words “You’re stuck here now. Actions have consequences”

You laughed, wiggling in his hold, but he just tightened his grip.

“James”

“Mmm. Nope”

“I-”

“Shh. Thinking about my suffering”

You rolled your eyes, smiling despite yourself, your fingers naturally finding their way into his curls again, scratching lightly at his scalp.

He made a sound, deep and content, his body practically melting beneath you.

“See ?” you teased, voice softening “That wasn’t so bad”

He exhaled heavily, but his hands had already started skimming over your back again, lazy and unbothered, like he’d completely forgotten why he was fake-pouting in the first place.

“Mmh” he hummed “Don't know. Still feel like you owe me”

You smirked, arching a brow. “Oh ?”

“Yeah” James sighed dramatically, finally tilting his head up again. Looking at you.

That expression.

Soft. Mischievous. A little challenging.

Maybe even a little hopeful.

Like he was just waiting for you to put him out of his misery.

You let the moment stretch for a beat longer, lips quirking.

Then, with a small, amused sigh, you finally gave in.

And kissed him properly.

For a few moments, the two of you just stayed like that, tangled together, basking in the warmth of each other’s touch.

You felt him smile against your lips before he pulled back just enough to murmur “So… hear me out”

“Oh boy” you sighed, already knowing. 

James just grinned, completely unbothered by your lack in faith in him.

“What if we made this a permanent arrangement ?”

You let out a soft laugh, tilting your head at him. “A permanent arrangement ?”

“Yeah. Like, an official thing. A contract, even” he lifted his head slightly, hie expression the picture of seriousness “Something binding. A legally recognized agreement that states you will be my official human pillow for the foreseeable future”

You stared at him, an eyebrow quirked in amusement, lips twitiching. 

“You want to draft a pillow contract ?”

James nodded, almost professionally. 

“For accountability purposes”

You rolled your eyes, a disbelieved chuckle leaving your lips before you could stop it. 

“You’re ridiculous”

“But lovable” he pointed out.

You exhaled, shaking your head, your heart betraying you with the sheer amount of fondness you felt for this man.

“Fine” you relented, rolling your eyes as if you weren’t already completely gone for him “You win. You can rest on me whenever you want”

James grinned like he’d just won the lottery, wasting no time in smacking a quick, eager kiss right on your lips.

“But” you added, poking him in the ribs “I reserve the right to move if you start drooling”

“Excuse me ?” he gasped, offended “I do not drool”

You smirked. “That’s not what the couch cushions say”

James gasped again, dramatically this time, like you had personally insulted his honor “That was one time-”

“Oh, it so wasn’t”

James pouted, pulling you even closer and pressing his forehead against yours with a grumble.

“You wound me” he muttered, a mock distraught lilt to his voice.

You grinned, the warmth of him, the smell of him, completely surrounding you as you pressed a kiss to his jaw, lingering just enough to feel the way his breath hitched.

“I think you’ll survive just fine”

He hummed, tilting his head slightly, inviting you to keep going.

So you did.

You let your lips trail along his jawline, slow and lazy, your fingers threading through the curls at the nape of his neck, scratching lightly in a way that made him melt.

“Well” James sighed, voice lower, heavier, the tiniest shiver running through him “If this is how you comfort me, I guess I’ll forgive you”

You laughed against his skin.

“How generous”

James smirked, but there was something else in his eyes now, something wicked, something that sparked just before–

Before the menace shimmied down.

Yes. Shimmied. Like a man with a mission.

“James-”

Your protest was cut off by laughter, because he was determined, wriggling lower and lower with expert precision, slipping out of your hold like a human-sized golden retriever trying to find the perfect spot on the couch.

And then, with a triumphant sigh, his head landed where he had been aiming all along–

Right on your chest.

James let out a deep, satisfied hum, snuggling in, his nose nuzzling into the soft fabric of your shirt like this was some long-lost paradise he had just returned to.

“Now we’re talking” he exhaled in sheer satisfaction, like the heaviest of weights had been lifted from his shoulders, snuggling even deeper, and muttering an appreciative “Mmh. Yep. Definitely five stars”

You blinked down at him, helpless to fight the way your heart swelled, a smile threatening to bloom against your better judgment.

“Should I start charging you for this service ?” you teased.

James hummed, content, his lips brushing absently against the skin just below your collarbone.

“I’d go broke, baby”

You let out a soft, breathy laugh, your fingers finding their way back into his hair, your nails scratching lightly at his scalp.

He groaned, pressing his face deeper into your chest, mumbling something incoherent that you were pretty sure translated to never stop doing that.

Before you could fully process how utterly whipped this man was, he pressed a soft, lingering kiss there –just because he could.

You pulled back slightly, blinking down at the mop of messy chocolate strands currently buried between your collarbones. 

“Do you make a habit of kissing all your pillows ?” you asked, voice mildly amused despite the unreasonable warmth now flooding your chest.

James, completely unashamed, grinned against you. 

“Pillows don’t usually deserve appreciation, but this one ?” his fingers traced slow, lazy patterns against your waist, his voice dropping to a reverent murmur “This one gets special treatment”

A full-body shiver rolled through you.

And James, that absolute menace, felt it.

His smirk was obnoxiously satisfied as he nuzzled in even deeper, practically purring as he molded himself further against you.

You rolled your eyes, trying –truly trying– to ignore the overwhelming affection clawing at your ribcage. And utterly failing.

“Jamie, you’re gonna choke like this” you warned playfully, fighting against yourself not to let out the endeared laugh threatening to spill.

He made a noncommittal noise, fully unbothered.

“Best way to go, honestly”

And that was it.

Not one beat missed. Not a single ounce of shame registered in his voice.

You stared wide-eyed at the mop of untamable chocolate curls right below your chin, completely bewildered by the words that had just come out of your boyfriend’s mouth.

Did this man, the actual love of your life, just casually declare that he would willingly –no, gladly– perish via boob-related asphyxiation ?

Because that was what it sounded like.

Was that a normal thing for a person to say ?

No. No, it wasn’t.

And yet—here you were.

"James"

“Mmm ?”

"James, get up"

"No"

You sighed, trying to nudge him off, but it was useless.

Because this man –this grown, six-foot, sport-trained, annoyingly fit man– was currently clinging to you like a koala experiencing its first-ever existential crisis.

And you knew –you knew– that there was no reasoning with a man who had just fully committed to making your chest his final resting place.

"James-"

"No"

"You cannot suffocate yourself on my–"

"I can and I will"

"You will not"

James lifted his head just enough to look at you with actual betrayal.

"How dare you harm a man in his final moments ?"

A stunned laugh escaped before you could stop it.

“Oh my god, you’re ridiculous”

James smirked triumphantly.

“And yet-” he murmured smugly “-you don’t seem to mind it”

He barely gave you a second to respond before he nuzzled right back in, burrowing into your chest like you were some long-lost paradise he had finally returned to.

You stared at the ceiling, dead inside.

How was this your life ?

You used to have dignity.

You used to be a strong, independent person.

And yet, somehow –somehow��� you had become a glorified human mattress for your very large and very needy boyfriend.

And the worst part ?

You didn’t even mind.

You sighed deeply, fingers slipping into his hair against your better judgment. James melted immediately, exhaling in a way that was obscenely pleased. Like if he were any more relaxed, he'd have dissolved into a puddle of mushy, lovesick goo.

Then, with the solemnity of a man about to deliver a groundbreaking presidential address, he cleared his throat.

You barely had time to register the shift before he–

“Ladies” James began, his voice smooth, reverent “It’s always a pleasure”

Your mouth fell open.

Did he just–

Oh, for fuck’s sake.

“I just wanted to take a moment to express my deepest gratitude” he continued talking to your breasts, completely ignoring the look of utter disbelief and sheer horror plastered on your face and sighing dramatically “For your service. For your warmth. For providing me with the best naps of my life”

Your soul, quite frankly, left your body, just straight-up abandoned you.

“James–”

He shushed you.

Shushed you.

“I’m having a moment with my girls, baby” he whispered, like he was delivering a speech at fucking Buckingham Palace.

You gaped at him. “You are not-”

“I am” he placed a hand over his heart “They deserve it”

You had never contemplated murder so seriously in your life.

James, completely unbothered, pressed on. 

“I promise to treat you with the respect and admiration you deserve. To appreciate your softness in all its glory. To-” he paused, tilting his head “Actually, I feel like I should name you”

“For the love of God, James. Don’t you dare-”

He gasped. 

Gasped. 

“That’s a brilliant idea. Baby, why haven’t we named them ?”

You smacked his arm, your eyes so wide they threatened to fall out of your skull. “Because they are literally attached to my body ?!”

But he wasn’t listening. No, the absolute menace was thinking, brows furrowed in deep concentration.

“They deserve names that reflect their greatness. Something regal. Something powerful”

He snapped his fingers. “Got it. Thelma and Louise”

You groaned. “Absolutely fucking not”

James ignored you. 

“Or maybe Hall and Oates ?”

“I- What- Aren’t they both men ?”

“Gender’s nothing but a social construct, darling”

“Ok-”

A sudden gasp interrupted you, as if he had just discovered the meaning of life itself.

"Baby- Baby, I’ve got it"

You sighed, already regretting everything. "James, no"

"Yes" he insisted, eyes alight with the thrill of an idiot about to say something profoundly stupid "Bonnie and Clyde"

You blinked. Once. Twice. 

"You want to name ‘your girls’ after two actual criminals ?"

He nodded solemnly, as if he were making the most reasonable suggestion in the world. "Iconic criminals. Star-crossed lovers. Thrill-seekers. Just like us, babe"

"Just like us ?" you repeated, incredulous "James, they literally died in a hail of bullets"

"Tragic, right ?" he sighed dramatically, resting his cheek against your chest. "Just two outlaws against the world. Inseparable. Madly in love. Probably great at robbing banks"

You stared at him, completely dead inside. "Are you about to compare my chest to a highly coordinated armed robbery ?"

James lifted his head just enough to grin at you. 

"Well” he mused, eyes twinkling “they did steal my heart"

You were done. So done, in fact, that you just gave up entirely.

"I cannot believe this is my life" you muttered, shoving your hands over your face.

James, the absolute menace, took this as encouragement and nuzzled back in, pressing obnoxiously reverent kisses between his newly christened 'Bonnie and Clyde'.

"Rest easy, my loves" he murmured dramatically "Your legacy shall live on"

"James-"

"Shhh" he hushed, patting your side "They're outlaws, baby. They don’t play by the rules"

At that point, you seriously considered pushing him off the couch. Or out the window. 

Maybe both.

You shook your head, defeated, completely annihilated by your boyfriend’s questionable choices.

James grinned, entirely too pleased with himself. 

“Oh, come on. I’m just having a bit of fun” he chuckled lightheartedly, turning his attention back to your chest with the solemnity of a man who had just finished writing a best-selling novel “Well, ladies, whatever your names may be, just know –you have my eternal devotion”

And then, as if he hadn’t just committed the most embarrassing crime against you, he nestled back in with a satisfied hum.

You stared down at him, deadpan. 

“You’re an actual menace”

“And yet, despite that, you love me” he mumbled, already half-asleep.

You sighed, your fingers automatically sliding into his hair once again. It took him less than two seconds to turn into a puddle, his entire body going limp as he exhaled in the most ridiculously pleased way possible, like he had just been given an award for the best nap ever.

“Unfortunately” you muttered, your heart melting just a little bit too, because, yes, he was a ridiculous man, but he was your ridiculous man.

And, as much as you complained, you couldn’t deny it --having James like this, warm and completely wrapped around you, was its own kind of perfect.

The Pillow Contract (Unofficially Signed & Approved) 

Clause 1: James gets unlimited chest pillow privileges.

Clause 2: Y/n reserves the right to kick James off if he drools in his sleep.

Clause 3: Cuddles are mandatory.

Clause 4: James won't ever refer to Y/n's chest as ‘Bonnie and Clyde’ again. Penalty: annulment of Clause 1.

Hello beautiful people 💗

I have no idea of where this thing spouted from. It popped in my head, and I had to bring it to the world 😂.

This is my first attempt at a more humorous type of fic. I had so much fun writing it, and I really hope it didn't downright suck, and you had a good time reading it, too.

Let me know what you think!

Thank you for reading, and I'll catch you in the next one <3

[catssluvr]

simp lottie matthews

.☘︎ ݁˖ simp!lottie who gets distracted in class all the time because you just look so pretty, has that dopey smile on her lips while doing so and gets sooo flustered when the teacher calls her out for it. draws hearts all over her notebook with both of your initials in the middle of them.

.☘︎ ݁˖ simp!lottie who does the best handmade gifts for you, little bracelets that have beads of your current favorite color or handmade keychains :) but also gets you really expensive presents just because she can. shows up with a new box of your favorite perfume on a random day just because you told her you ran out.

.☘︎ ݁˖ simp!lottie who always speaks so gently with you, no matter what. she might be angry and feeling like yelling at everyone and everything but that’s never an option when it comes to you. lottie is always soft-spoken and refuses to speak louder than you.

.☘︎ ݁˖ simp!lottie who throws huge parties at her house just to forget about everyone around her as soon as you show up, excusing herself from whoever she’s talking to so she gets to run over and tell you how happy she is that you showed up. follows you around like a puppy until the party is over and invites you to stay over after.

.☘︎ ݁˖ simp!lottie who gets teased by all her friends after practice because she was distracted due to your presence in the stands. angrily pouts but doesn’t ever disagree when they say she’s head over heels for you. she knows quite well it’s true.

.☘︎ ݁˖ simp!lottie who knows everything little detail about you and will not hesitate to correct someone. even if they simply got your favorite chocolate wrong.

.☘︎ ݁˖ simp!lottie who literally swoons whenever you use a nickname for her. her favorites are for sure ‘angel’ and the usual ‘baby’. but her heart does a literal flip whenever you call her ‘lott’, though :) for you, she pretty much calls you every cute name she can possibly think of.

.☘︎ ݁˖ simp!lottie who picks you up on her car every morning before school, insisting there’s no need for you to walk all the way there when your house is on her way (it really isn’t). always greets you with a sweet peck and a cup of your fav drink <3

nsfw(ish)!!

.☘︎ ݁˖ simp!lottie who could make out with you for hours if you’d let her. in her opinion, her lips feeling puffy from kissing yours paired with your thigh slotted between hers is the best thing and all she could ask for.

.☘︎ ݁˖ simp!lottie who is the biggest munch to exist. wants nothing more than to show you her attention is on you and could spend hours between your thighs to prove it. doesn’t actually stop until you show to he satisfied.

.☘︎ ݁˖ simp!lottie who chants your name like a prayer, her doe eyes filled with tears as she tugs you closer to her by the waist, feeling too far away under you until you practically squish against her. is shamelessly loud and talkative as you make her feel good.

[merlucide]

SPOTTING YOU IN THE CROWD! hcs

notes: first post of the new year!! Happy new years!! <33 [Requested]

characters: Aiku, Sae, Sendou, Kaiser, Ness, Lorenzo, Snuffy, Loki, Noa, Chris Prince, Lavinho, Leonardo Luna

warnings: cursing probs, not proofread (again, idgaf) fem!reader in Lavinho’s

pt1 pt2

You bundled deeper into your sweater hoping to savor some warmth, it might as well be snowing right now. As much as you wished you were at home, curled up under a blanket, you were happy to be here, watching your boyfriend’s game. Normally, you only went to home games, but this time you thought, ’why not?’. So, after a 4 in a half hour flight, a 30 minute taxi ride, you finally made it to the stadium. You’d go to his games pretty often, sitting in the VIP section. This go around, you wanted to sit closer, to get a better view of your lover of course. The whistle blows for halftime and you excitedly signal to him.

OLIVER AIKU

Smirks and shakes his head hehe

Means tons you came!! :)

He rlly can’t believe you came lmao

Doesn’t yell back but makes hand signs to ya

You can just tell what he’s trying to say, benefit of The Charm™ (*AHEM..*👀)

Might blow you a kiss, might not, depends on which Aiku you get😙

If he does you ofc accept it and return it, which he cradles it to his heart hehe

*cue jelly and disgusted sendou*

-

🦢: ‘cringe tbh’

🐍: ‘Say, I don’t see your S/O in the stands’

🦢: ‘Low blow.’ bitchless HA

ITOSHI SAE

Surprised

-

That’s it, thanks for reading.

-

….no like he’s so boring, no expression, no fun, no personality

Why are you with him bro

-

Sorry the Sae hater in me took over, let’s continue.

-

Happy? You came? Like

Hes indifferent to it 😭

I mean he recognizes the effort made to see him and appreciates that, YES!

Gives you a little wave :3 (if you’re lucky he’ll give ya a small smile)

He def scores a goal for you and kisses his promise ring looking in your area

After the game he Venmo’s you what you payed for the tickets— despite your retaliation lmao

I hate this hoe

SENDOU SHUTO

Aiku thumbs to you in the stands and bbg lets out the BIGGEST OVERDRAMATIC gasp when seeing you

he could squeal

— Quickly goes back to ‘cool mode’, which lasts for two seconds before yelling back at you

🦢:’BABYYYYYYYY!!’

⚓️: ‘BABEEEEEEEESSSS!!

The team give him the look saying ‘simp’ LMAO

Gets all blushy n embarrassed lol

Yells at you to watch him and tell you he’s gonna score for ya (he totally missed the net)

MICHEAL KAISER

his face when he notices you: 😏

Fuels his ego by like, a gajillion times

—though he is conflicted between making it known to his teammates/fans that you’re here or not letting a single soul know of your existence lmao

Doesn’t wanna hurt your feelings by ignoring you tho 💀 especially since you came ALL the way to see HIM

(Rlly appreciates it)

Just rolls his eyes at you and grins

You kinda have a conversation with your faces LMAO

Bc again he’s trying not to attract to much attention to you!! (cus media, etc)

Ness sees you and waves ! :)

-

🪄: ‘I didn’t know y/n was coming! Hi y/n!!’

🥀: ‘Shut up you squealing maggot.”

🪄: ‘Oh okay’

ALEXIS NESS

turns exactly into “🥹+🤩” combined

So happy you came!!!!

Means so much to him that you’d take your time and money to see him play!

Gives you that big fat wobbly smile of his and yells ‘Hi!!’

Points you out to Kaiser ‘Look! Kaiser, y/n came!’

he doesn’t gaf LMAO

He gives you a nod tho!

-

Blows you many kisses 😌

BM is all giving him the biggest side eye LMAO His love for you makes everyone within a 20 mile radius uncomfortable

-

def gives you the biggest cheek kiss ever and hugs you HEHHEEEHHEHEHEHE

DON LORENZO

Ugly smiles hehehehheh

Two-finger point at cha’ yelling ‘HEYYYYYYY!!!!’

Laughing and smiling soo much

He’s literally BEAMING

He always wants you to come to his games, but understands you have a life of your own and can’t make it to them all

BUT YOU CAME THIS TIME!!

‘MIO AMOUR DIDJA SEE MY MOVES EH? PRETTY SWEET YA?’

afterwards totally tries doing more showy tricks and plays for ya hehe

He’s just pumped af you’re here!!

MARC SNUFFY

Touched 🥹 

Fr tho, he’s touched af

Happy big smile!!

Waves back at cha :3

-

He called you earlier before the game and had no clue!! I mean he heard crowd at the airport but you just brushed it off as ‘oh I’m just at the mall’

Really appreciates it! :)

JULIANN LOKI

he’s like ‘😮!!’

Didn’t expect that!!!

Means so much to him!!

Gets all blushy hehe…,.

Doesn’t want to make a scene so he opts out for a small slightly hidden wave (not to draw attention to you)

rlly appreciates you supporting his career !! Esp since he’s so young starting off so strong

-

After game he goes to you and shakes his head and hugs ya hehe

Can’t believe you lmao

NOEL NOA

Surprised af

Like the thought of you doing this never crossed his mind literally once, E V E R

He knows you watch his games on TV when you don’t go (most of the time)

Soft grinning from him heh

Doesn’t do much bc he doesn’t want the media all over you

-

After the game he brings you closer (not touching bc he’s sweaty af) and kisses your forehead

——Whiiiich the paparazzi saw and it was over the internet for the next few days

So mission failed for Noa lmao

LAVINHO 

okay think Bokuto’s ‘HEY HEY HEY!!’ That’s him rn

Manically laughing LMAO

Starts F L I R T I N G  with you from the field

He’s just like yelling ‘HEEEEY MAMAS, YA FREE AFTER THISSSS?’

Def brags to any single teammates of his LMAO

CHRIS PRINCE

Signature Chris Prince smile!!

Belly laughs too lmao— can’t believe you’re here! And that you didnt tell him

He would’ve easily arranged something easier for you to come, probs traveling with the team or smth

energized as crap and now will do everything at the tippity top of his game to impress you (he does this every time you go to his games, but like it’s 10x bc he’s so pumped)

LEONARDO LUNA

Making ‘:o’ face lmao

So surprised !! But SO happy!!

Like wym his darling came to his away game?? Wym they took a 4 hour flight to see him play

Feels so special hehe

Blows you kisses with both hands and waves with both as well

Makes it known you’re here (if you’re comfortable with being public, but in this scenario I’d assume so)

Gives you a big hug afterwards

help sorry for any ooc-ness for some I had a hard time getting creative juice

Made January 1st 2025

[naebaetwsog]

「・RIIZE as your boyfriend°×

genre.Fluff

warning.Ot7(ig that’s a warning??)

pairing.Bf!Rii7e x fem!reader

note.If I say that I was crying writing this, and I was also crying while choosing the cover photo, I really miss our 03liners. Anyways, this is my fist riize fic, reminder that you can request other groups too!!

Shotaro

Your #1 fan, personal hype man, and ultimate softie. You are his literal baby—no exceptions. He spoils you endlessly, never showing up empty-handed on dates, always surprising you with little gifts. If you’re apart, he demands FaceTime calls at night, whining, “I can’t sleep without your presence…” Your personal space? Doesn’t exist. His clothes are now yours, and he loves seeing you in them. Dancing everywhere, even in the grocery store? Mandatory. You don’t know how? He doesn’t care—he’s twirling you around anyway. He showers you with compliments 24/7, making sure you never forget how much he loves you.

Eunseok

Cool and composed? Only with others. With you, he’s a total softie. But make no mistake—he’s crazy overprotective. If someone so much as glances at you the wrong way, he’s already cursing their ancestors. He spoils you without hesitation; you don’t even need to ask—just look at something, and it’s yours. You are not safe from his dad jokes, though. You could be in the middle of cuddling, and he’ll drop the corniest joke, leaving you groaning while he laughs at his own humor. He loves making you mad just because he thinks you’re adorable when you pout.

Sungchan

Simp? Understatement. You say sit, he sits. You say jump, he jumps. Honestly, he’s barking for you. Just thinking about you puts him in heart-eyes mode. Everyone knows how much he loves you—he makes sure of it. Someone stares at you for too long? He’s ready to throw hands. His personal space? Doesn’t exist when it comes to you. He even holds your hand when you go to the bathroom “What if you get kidnapped?!”. One week into the relationship, he’s already talking about marriage. But don’t be fooled—he will tease you, especially about your height, and be the most annoying boyfriend ever in the best way possible.

Wonbin

Mysterious? Only to strangers. With you? He’s a full-on clingy baby. If he’s not glued to you in some way, he’s simply not functioning. He spoils you to no end, handing you his credit card before you even ask. His clothes are automatically yours, and your mood? His mood. If you’re upset, he feels it. He’s confident, but still gets jealous—even though he’s literally one of the most handsome men alive. He tries to play it cool, but the moment someone gets a little too friendly, he’s suddenly extra affectionate, pulling you closer and reminding everyone that you’re his.

Seunghan

Simp Pt. 3. He’s obsessed with you in the most wholesome way. Personal space? What’s that? You’re never alone—if you turn around, he’s right there. Matching outfits every day, not negotiable. He only has eyes for you; no one else even exists in his world. He expresses his love in a million small ways, from adjusting your scarf in the cold to remembering your favorite snacks. If you’re feeling down, he drops everything to comfort you, whispering how much he loves you and will always be by your side.

Sohee

He tries to act all cool and manly, but let’s be real—he’s a total softie when it comes to you. He’s not big on physical affection, but he needs some part of him touching you at all times—whether it’s a pinky linked with yours or his foot brushing against yours under the table. Instead of physical touch, he expresses love through acts of service and words of affirmation. Good morning and good night texts are a daily routine. He surprises even himself by being the first one to say, “I love you.”

Anton

The biggest simp of them all. His brain is permanently on “reader brainrot” mode. If he’s not thinking about you, he’s making memes about you. You have so many inside jokes that one look from him can make you both burst out laughing. He always gives you his oversized hoodies because you look ridiculously tiny in them, and he lives for it. Spoils you way too much, especially if you’re into collecting cute things (“One more Sunny Angel won’t hurt…”). The way he adores you is unreal—he just wants to make you the happiest person alive.

[sh4dys]

He’s in love » Matt Sturniolo

summary: matt is simply head over heels for you <3

warnings: fem!reader, pet names (baby, sweetheart, my girl)

A/N: i wanted to write smth cute guys, how do we feel abt matty boy 🫶

Matt had been staring at you for what seemed like an eternity, well, it wasn’t even you. He had been scrolling through your Instagram for the past hour, simply basking in the fact he was dating—in his words—the most beautiful girl to ever exist.

Matt had always been like this, ever since you got together, maybe even before than. He was the biggest simp in history, he was the definition of a simp.

He could practically feel his heart ache when you two were just friends, he wanted to so desperately kiss your face, hold your hand, keep you warm at night. But he has to sit to the side and watch as other guys got to do it.

That was until he finally confessed after being pressured by Chris. He was so pent up from being peer pressured that he was practically screaming at you about how he was in love with you.

At first he assumed you were freaked out and would never wanna talk to him again, but when you cut him off halfway through and shouted back “I love you” he felt his entire world come crashing down on him. He was in disbelief.

And he’s been in disbelief ever since.

“Hey, baby.” The sudden sound of your voice brought him out of his trance, turning back to look at you with a wide smile and lovesick gaze. He quickly got up from the couch and rushed over to you, wrapping his arms around your waist and buried his face in your neck.

“I missed you.” He mumbled quietly against your skin, the vibrations making you giggle slightly as you wrapped your arms around his neck. “I missed you too, Matty.” You pressed a kiss to the side of his head, feeling his face heat up against your neck before he slowly lifted it up to look at you.

He still had a smile on his face, his hands holding your waist as he simply admired you. You had turned your attention to talk to Nick about dinner plans, occasionally glancing back at your boyfriend with a warm smile in return.

He began to press gentle kisses against your face; your cheek, nose, forehead, anywhere he could reach without interrupting your conversation. “You look beautiful, sweetheart.” He spoke quietly, pulling you closer and pressed your side against him.

“You always say that.” You looked up at him with slightly furrowed brows, earning a playful scoff from him and a peck on the lips. “Because it’s true. My girl is always beautiful..” He smiled warmly at you, before scooping you up in his arms, earning a surprised yelp from your lips, and brought you into the living room.

He placed you down on your back, your head on the armrest as he laid down on top to you. His arms firmly wrapped around your middle, his head on your chest, and legs tangled with your own. You could feel his fingers messing with the hem of your shirt, his breathing pattern slow and calm as he got comfortable.

You sighed softly and placed a hand in his hair, gently combing through his brunette locks and closed your eyes, enjoying his company at the moment.

You were quite used to this behavior by now, whenever you’d show up to the triplets house he’d automatically steal you away and keep you close to him, refusing to let you go.

Can you blame him though? He’s in love.

[skyfallscotland]

The OFFICIAL...no I'm just kidding lmao. My chapter twenty-seven (Xaden's POV) community discussion post. Spoilers below the cut ✨

🌟 Ok let's start with the biggest glaring inconsistency—Xaden implying that he and Liam were taken in and trained by Lewellen.

EXCUSE ME? Rebecca????? You said they were taken in by Duke Lindell, that's what you told me! You mean I slaved away over a map creating a whole backstory and character for this fucking guy and now he doesn't even exist?? I'm????

This changes the whole game as far as I'm concerned, like there's a big difference between them being raised by some random loyalist we've never heard of and the guy who took their duchy or whatever and is now in charge of the whole kingdom? I don't know how to take this seriously either because like...that's very much not away from prying eyes, how is this guy, who's a political figure training them while also maintaining his supposed loyal status to the kingdom?

ALSO, I have a damn map, Lewellen is WAY far from Aretia, so how on earth were they going there? I'd assumed maybe Lindell was living somewhere closer, but if we're saying it's Lewellen now...what the fuck, Rebecca?

🌟 Ok. Next topic. LIAM 😭😭😭 I can't, I can't handle the pair of them on a page together. He's exactly how we fanon'd him in Xaden's presence alone an I need a moment. "Was it us?!" I'm ???? I cry. 😭 I might actually write some angsty Violiaden after that.

🌟 Next order of business. HE LOVES HER. Why is he saying he loves her so many times? I love simp Xaden, but he's so sure of himself, but he refuses to fucking tell her for another year? What the FUCK Xaden???? 🤯😭 I do not like this for him. For her. For me. Nope. Love him though, truly, fr.

🌟 The Imogen dagger delivery is exactly what we all hypothesised but in this instance it does feel very retconned. Like I'm fine with it but also an 'Imogen's unwell' line in the original novel wouldn't have gone astray, so personally I'm not sold this was planned all along but I'll roll with it. I feel like the info about how the wards work and how someone had to have taken them down from within the keep also supports this being a retcon/something forgotten about or not fleshed out yet from the original book. Again though, it's fine.

🌟 Let's talk about DAIN. Why are we saying someone helped the fliers from the inside and took down the wards and then saying Dain is suspiciously out of breath and slower than normal? Why are we doing that? Rebecca???? 👁👄👁

🌟 Xaden: Violet's going to bolt, I don't know how I'll ever stop her even though I'm 6ft tall and I picked her up and carried her five seconds ago. Oh, I know! I'll kiss her!

🌟 Sgaeyl!!!! I love her so much my sassy queen! And did she basically say she loves Tairn? Yes, she did 😭 They're the best, your honour!

Thoughts? Feelings? Discuss!! (please) ⬇

[wonton4rang]

....thinking so many pussy drunk taesan thoughts i'm going crazy .... .. the drabble u wrote about it is just So Correct i fear

warnings: +18, smut, pussy eating, pet names (slut)

note: ty for giving me the chance!! i loved the thought and would love to hear more of yours <33

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

and i'm afraid that we are under the same circumstances... taesan gives me those vibes of someone who's not into sex but the way he carries himself makes me believe he's the biggest simp and pussy drunk baby boy to ever exist. it's different from leehan tho, leehan gives me vibes of pussy drunk but more into this controlling/ rough approach. taesan is just one to lay down and cry over how good you ride his face, his tongue lapping your cunt like a mad man and his arms practically hugging your thighs on each side of his head, he would practically make out with your pussy over and over, drool dropping of his mouth and his dick so hard inside his pants he could cum by himself, no touching needed.

he is the type to beg you to let him eat you out when he's feeling horny, i can even see him dropping on his own knees on the living room while you sat at the couch, looking into your eyes while pleading for you. he would get so excited when you finally open your legs and let him see what he's been starving all day for but his excitement quickly goes away because you were mad at the poor boy and his punishment was a pussy diet :((

taesan is like a puppy, big shiny eyes looking at you and expecting for a sign for him to finally devour your lips, his hand always, and i mean ALWAYS, finding its way under your lower part clothes, could be shorts, pants, a skirt or even a dress but his fingers were already playing with your pussy while he moaned into the kiss like a slut. you could even feel the way his heartbeat started to get faster and how sloppy his tongue kiss was getting.

the best present you could ever give him was allowing him to eat you out, there was nothing else that he cared about. i've said this a thousand times but i'll say it again, he is NOT into sex (at least not as of now) but that doesn't means he doesn't get horny or doesn't enjoy it, it's just not his first choice or his biggest craving (that could change tho). so his favorite part is to eat you out and then fuck your soaked cunt in missionary while the wet sounds filled his ears, his lips against yours while his eyes were fixed on you, his dick going so deep inside that you physically shaked.

he was the best at making you cum and then fucking your pussy so good you ended up cumming over and over again :((

[bananami]

actor!sukuna x reader

Welcome to my rendition of: You and Sukuna doing the WIRED interview together as a couple and he's like his character but minus the murder <3 (a/n: fem terms used, also they do be physically rough housing with each other in some parts if that makes y'all uncomfortable just be aware it's all playful)

"I can't believe you roped me into this."

You giggle at your boyfriend, who is struggling to stay seated comfortably on the stool next to you. "It's gonna be fun!"

"For who?"

You give him the biggest smile you can and two thumbs up. When you first started dating your relationship broke the internet, most certainly for your grumpy sunshine dynamic. Sukuna was known for being difficult to get along with because of his natural resting bitch face and general disinterested demeanor. He didn't like many people, and he made that known. You were one of few, and the cast members on set with you two had spoken at length about it in their own interviews. They enjoyed poking fun at the 'soft side of Sukuna'. As much as he denied this side existed, you definitely pulled it out of him. Which is how you ended up convincing him to do a WIRED interview with you in place of Gojo, who had to cancel last minute.

"Introduce yourselves to the camera for us."

You did and then looked at Sukuna expectedly. "Her boyfriend."

You gripped his arm, squeezing into his side and cheesing hard at the camera.

The first set of questions was handed to you on a large piece of cardboard, which Sukuna grabbed so you wouldn't have to hold it.

"Ok, first question! Does Ryomen Sukuna...."

"Why me first?"

"Have a girlfriend?"

"Obviously, dumb question."

"People wanna know if you're single! Because you're so handsome., obviously," you mocked him.

"Well answer's yes and I don't plan on being single any time soon. Next question."

"Is Ryomen Sukuna...." you ripped the magnet off to reveal the rest of the question, "mean?" You hold your giggle as his head swivels immediately toward and he narrows his eyes.

"Tell the people the truth."

You scrunch your nose and look directly into the camera, feeling his gaze still burning into the side of your face. "He's the biggest sweetheart ever-"

"Liar!" His arms squeeze you and your pulled off your stool and into his lap. "I have a reputation to uphold, tell them how awful and mean I am!"

Between laughter you try to speak. "He's so mean- the worst person ever- garbage personality- rude to waitstaff!"

"That's right," he points at the camera, "and don't you forget it."

Laying awkwardly across his lap, you reach to reveal the next question from the card he now holds off to the side. You fight to reach it as he pulls it further away and eventually get fed up enough to push his face so that he stumbles, almost falling off his chair. You're able to get to the next question but not without a yelp from the swift smack that lands on your thigh.

"I'm reading the next question, stop being a-" you look up at him with big doe eyes.

"Say it," he smirks, daring you.

"No!"

"Say it!"

"A dick!"

"Wow. I can't believe you just called me that."

"Answer the next question!"

"Read it!

"Does Ryomen Sukuna..." you gasp, "like me?!"

He rolls his eyes, knowing how he's never going to hear the end of this when the two of you leave. "Did you google that? It sounds like something you would google."

"I'd definitely done that before we dated in brief moments of desperation and simping."

"The having sex with you wasn't telling enough?"

You squeal, "Oh my god, cut that part out!"

Sukuna lets out the loudest laugh.

"Next question!"

"Final one, then your turn."

"Fine." You begin to read off the next question, ripping the cover off the next question. "Does Sukuna...really have pink hair?"

"Yes, clearly. That was a dumb question, just look up a picture of me."

"Why don't you tell everyone why you dyed it that color?"

"Lost a bet."

"Ryo!"

"Don't yell at me, woman!" Sukuna pinched your side. "I'm sensitive."

You squeeze his arm and look at the camera with soft eyes as you explain, "they made fun of Yuuji for dying his hair pink back in school so he did it too."

"Tell them the rest of the story!" He snapped harmlessly. "I dyed it, went to school the next day, and beat the fuck out of those three little shitbags-"

"Language!"

He lowers his face toward yours and whispers "I will fucking kill you."

You smile for the camera, "he means kiss."

And he does, immediately swooping in to lay one kiss on your cheek and one on your neck. "Bring on the questions about her!"

"I hate talking about myself."

"Well that's fine," he picks up the new cardboard poster, "because I don't shut up about you."

Your face feels hot at your boyfriend's words.

"The people want to know. Are you..." he reveals the question and is immediately set off, "dating Toji? I will burn this place to the ground."

"Toji's a good looking guy, I could pull."

"Well that's not the question."

"Correct, the answer is no."

"And it'll stay that way."

"What if you fumble the bag?"

He throws a look your way, "I got that shit double strapped. Like a backpack. That bag ain't going nowhere." He pulls on the tab covering the next question, reading, "What is your...net worth? Fucking high."

"A lady never tells," you wink at the camera.

"I'm just the trophy husband."

"We're not married though."

"Don't hurt my feelings." He grabs your hand and lays it on his thigh. "Am I not trophy husband material?"

You purse your lips at him.

"Brat. We're moving onto the next question." Your hand reaches over to the cardboard he holds. "Are you...in the next season of JJK?"

"I am, and so is Sukuna, and not to spoil anything but our characters actually interact this season."

Sukuna nods his head. "Fucking finally. And I've got a big fat crush on her."

"Definitely not a plot point."

"I wasn't talking about my character."

You lean against him and plant a kiss on his shoulder. "Softy."

"One last question, then we go home" He announces. "Are you...in love with Sukuna?" He quickly spits out the question and throws the board over his shoulder.

"It didn't ask that!"

"Answer the question! Spare no details!"

"Mmm," you pretend to think, "I guess."

You feel his finger poke into your side over and over. You giggled and fought against his hands. "She's obsessed with me. Don't let her fool you, she's gonna be all over me after we get home."

"Liar!"

"Say goodbye to the people!"

You smile back up at the camera, half lying across Sukuna's lap, and say a quick goodbye before leaning up to kiss him on the mouth. "You're lucky I do actually love you."

[ronaldothebestie]

I'm Sick | Rúben Dias

* ˚ ✦ Summary: Tik tok trends with Rúben and Singer!Reader!

Tw: Rúben is an idiot, fluff, Reader being simp, your tik tok account calls "CanelaDiasFan", Canela being the best cute daughter ever, dialogues in negrito are in Portuguese, not 100% revised, Canela means Cinnamon.🤎

English is not my first language!!!

Beautiful people are talking

* ˚ ✦

Version 1 (the one that was never published)

Inspiration

-

"Please Ruby, let's do this? I promise I won't publish it." You beg, sitting at the kitchen counter while Rúben prepares lunch, who was more concerned with finishing the famous Bacalhau com Natas.

"Nop. The desire to appear on the neighboring social media is not incredible today."

"It's funny that you always feel like showing off your whole body on Instagram, but when it comes to recording a cute video with your girlfriend it's the biggest drama, incredible."

"First, the photos are for... Professional purposes... Second, jealousy? And third, okay, let's do this."

"Yes, I see, professional purposes... Being a naughty and fishing com- What? A-Are you going to do it!? Rúben!” You jump off the counter radiantly hugging him from behind, smiling like a child, thanking him deeply.

"But wait, the decision was very quick... What do you want, Rúben?" You just looked suspiciously into his eyes.

"What will be my reward for doing this?" He asked funny while stirring the food.

"What do you mean, prize? Isn't it enough to make a cute video with your girlfriend, aka me?"

"Um, nop, here we are going to have a win-win situation, if I participate in your video, you will participate in mine."

"Very suspicious Ruby... What kind of video?"

"We play football."

"No."

"No? So no video for either one." He laughed evilly and you just wanted to kill this man, he probably already wanted to record this video and knew perfectly well what he was doing to make it happen.

There was "no advantage" for Rúben and you to record that football video, while in your case, it was the opposite, you practically needed that video for your existence! practically drooling at the thought of Rúben's arm muscle around your neck.

"No! Wait! Alright, I'll record the video." You quickly hide behind Rúben's back, with your head down, you hated playing football, especially with a boring and arrogant football player like him and-

Rúben just turned you around very easily, using a finger to lift your chin and stuck a spoon with the food in your mouth.

"Proof." You chewed with pleasure when you realized how wonderful the food was, your sad mood changed in the blink of an eye, you noticed his hopeful eyes and you couldn't resist.

"It's really good, Ruby."

"It is, isn't it? Now, my dear Bunny, let's not get upset about me humiliating you at football, will we?"

"Your assh-!"

Another spoonful of food was shoved into his mouth.

Hours later...

"Okay, let's get started- What the hell are you doing!?" You were scared when you saw, out of nowhere, Rúben doing push-ups in the middle of your suite.

"I need to emphasize the muscle well." Rúben winked at you, smiling and simply continued.

"I'm sure people know that you have... Protruding muscles..."

"I'm not sure."

"What do you mean? And the three hundred photos on your 'insta' showing all your muscles?"

"I'm not showing... It's Art."

"Art? Só se for a arte do cara-"

The video ended with Rúben's biceps almost crushing your face.

...

Version 2 (the one that was published)

Inspiration

-

"Canela, unlike dad, you're not going to blackmail me, right?" You bring the kitten closer to your neck, kissing the brown fur, which purrs in approval and snuggles against you.

You quickly turn on the tik tok camera starting a revolutionary video.

"I can't go out." Cough, cough, "I'm sick." A small paw invades your face, almost sticking it into your eye, but everything ends well.

5M❤️ and 24M views:

caption: The truth about Canela😭

Comments:

@EmmaVermilion (Rúben's version)

— No way she did this with Canela #saveCanela😭💀

@(reader)pistachioicecreAm

— Girl, this is literally the perfect scenario for Ruben to appear 😭😭😭

↳ CanelaDiasFan: Ik😭 but he's a bastard/naughty who only cares about FIFA😡 (I tried, sorry girls 😔)

@serrenna:

— Canela almost killing (reader)🤑🤑🤑

↳ CanelaDiasFan: WDYM 😭😭😭

@FernandoMendes>>>

— She is literally one of the greatest singers ever, but these videos... I can't 😭😭😭❤️

↳ CanelaDiasFan: Ik you like it😏😏🫦

@louboutininBunnyGirlpls:

— MANK VTNC KKLQPIEJSNJSAHUWIA A GATA SE REVOLTANDO SHHAAHAHAHHAHAMAKAKSKAAKK

more comments...

Bônus:

"Meow." When night came, the brown feline snuggled in your lap, purring with your affection behind the ears, while you waited for Rúben.

"Own Canela, aren't you the cutest kitten in the world?" You picked up the kitten and kissed her repeatedly, feeling the kitten snuggle even closer.

"I feel like I was the one who should have been there." Rúben, sat on the bed next to you with a pout.

"Jealous, big guy? She's our baby, I have to give her everything, right Canela?" The cat meows as affirmation, gaining even more affection, now on her belly.

"What a naughty cat."

"Looks like someone... As they say, like father, like daughter.❤️"

I have no idea why I do this, but I realy like it at all😄.

I saw the trend and I thought it really suited Ruben, but he's a bit of a low profile at times and a naughty dog at others so.... We do 50%...

Well, it's 2am and I'm ready to... 😴

From the next line of comments I will add real @ 🥵🥵🥵.

Thanks for reading, reblogs, feedback and likes are very welcome!!!

© All this shit belongs to @ronaldothebestie on Tumblr, so don't translate, repost, copy in no social media, do not commit plagiarism, It's crime and wtf?

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

It's always funny how zuts always try to portray Aang as someone who's a bitter jealous guy intimidated by Zuko, Jet and occasionally Haru(?) and insecure over Katara's relationship with them and pretend there's some over dramatic love triangle, rectangle shape thing between them. First of all, Aang is not intimidated by those guys because he can easily kick those guy's collective butts with his eyes closed.

Second, Aang geniunely loves those guys. Seriously, did these people not watch the Jet episode? Katara wasn't the only one who fell for Jet's freedom fighter act, Aang was simping for Jet right alongside her. And once Zuko made his heel turn, Aang easily forgave him and welcomed his friendship. That's another thing, Aang was willing to give Jet and Zuko second chances, he probably would have given them a third, aang held no grudges against either, Katara on the other hand did not forgive as easily. She was openly antagonistic to both and would have been happy to never think about them again if it was up to her.

And the feelings go both ways. Jet and Zuko both risked their lives to help Aang, Jet unfortunately lost that gamble, but both also believed in Aang and both saw hope in him for better days. I honestly think that Jet and Aang not having more screen time together was one of the show's biggest misses.

So yeah, there's absolutely no animosity between these guys especially over Katara, and that's ignoring the fact there was never anything between Zuko and Katara. They would have been bros alomh with Sokka if it wasn't for the war.

As for Haru, I don't know. That's a werid one, I don't know why they keep shoving him in these things. I don't even remember if he and Aang ever said two word to each other.

Anon, don't you see? Aang NEEDS to be jealous of any male that so much as exists near Katara, otherwise zutarians can't demonize him for being abusive, possessive and controling - and then inevitably go "But Zuko would never, therefore Katara should kiss him instead."

[notyoursa1nt]

Serial Designation N x Human!Reader SFW relationship headcanons.

He is obsessed with your warmth. Like, he physically cannot get enough of it. You touch his face? He’s losing his mind. You hold his hand? His fans are working overtime. You cuddle up next to him? RIP, he’s dead (metaphorically).

Biggest simp in existence. If you so much as breathe in his direction, he’s all heart eyes and flustered circuits. He trips over his words, stutters like crazy, and is constantly rebooting his brain because oh wow, you’re so pretty.

Terrible at flirting, but tries so hard. “So, uh…you’re like…wow. Like…hahaha, wow. Uhhhhh—” bluescreens

If you flirt back? He literally does not know how to handle it. “Oh, you think I’m cute? Haha…haha…wait, seriously? WAIT, HOLD ON—”

Talks to Uzi and V about you constantly. They are so tired. “N, we get it. They’re great. Now shut up.”

If you pet his hair, he will melt. Like, straight-up collapses into your lap, face-down, making weird happy drone noises. “This is the best moment of my entire existence.”

His wings puff up when he gets flustered. You kiss him on the cheek? Wings FWOMP out like an excited bird.

He tries to be cool, but he’s the dorkiest boyfriend ever. He’ll attempt a cool pose, immediately fall over, and then just laugh it off while you’re trying to help him up.

Loves hearing your heartbeat. It’s fascinating to him. You let him rest his head on your chest? He’s just lying there, completely zoned out, listening like it’s the most beautiful sound in the world.

Carries you places even if you don’t ask. “Your legs looked tired. I got you.”

Randomly picks you up just because he can. “You are now being relocated to the cuddling zone.”

His hands are cold, but he always wants to hold yours. “Am I freezing you? I can stop.” “No, it’s nice.” Cue him freaking out internally because you actually like holding his hand omg.

LOVES forehead kisses. If you kiss his forehead, he just goes completely still like a computer freezing, then hides his face in your shoulder to recover.

He’s so bad at understanding innuendos. You make a suggestive joke? He either misses it completely or suddenly realizes 20 minutes later and short-circuits on the spot.

Will absolutely try to fight mosquitoes for you. “Wait, these tiny things drink your blood?! OH NO, ABSOLUTELY NOT—”

Would rather self-destruct than ever hurt you. If he even thinks he’s being too rough, he backs off immediately, apologizing a hundred times.

Insists on walking you home. Even if it’s broad daylight. Even if it’s literally five feet away. “You never know! What if a rogue drone shows up? Or a bear? Or—”

Mimics the way you talk and doesn’t realize it. You say “bruh” a lot? Congrats, now he does too. He thinks it makes him sound cool.

Accidentally calls you cute pet names without thinking. “Okay, sweetheart—WAIT—” cue full system crash

The definition of “golden retriever boyfriend.” His tail would be practically wagging constantly whenever he’s around you.

Loves to spin you around when he hugs you. Just picks you up and does a little spin like a rom-com protagonist.

Wants you to ride on his back when he flies. The first time he offers, he’s so nervous, but once you agree, he takes off like an excited kid on Christmas. “THIS IS SO COOL, RIGHT?!”

Would fight the sun if it ever hurt you. “It burned you?! THE BIG SPACE FIREBALL DID THIS?! I’M TAKING IT DOWN.”

Sings to you when he thinks you’re asleep. It’s usually awkward little hums or silly made-up songs about how much he loves you.

Tries to learn human things to impress you. “Look! I learned how to…uh…use a spoon! Kinda! I broke five but this one is still good.”

If you give him a nickname, he will cherish it forever. Call him “N-Bug” or something cute, and he’ll be floating from happiness for days.

Lowkey possessive but in an adorable way. He doesn’t get jealous, but if someone flirts with you, he’ll just hover behind you, staring at them with his unsettling drone eyes until they leave.

The ultimate cuddle machine. He will wrap his arms, wings, and even his legs around you to keep you close. “Nope. No escape. This is your life now.”

Writes little love notes but never actually gives them to you. You find a stash one day, and he panics.

If you cry, he doesn’t know what to do at first but immediately jumps into comfort mode. “Who do I need to destroy? Wait, no, hugging first, then destruction.”

Loves going on random adventures with you. Even if it’s just running errands, he treats it like an exciting mission. “Alright, let’s obtain this milk with maximum efficiency!”

Would lay down his entire existence for you without hesitation. But would rather spend every single day proving how much he loves you instead.

This man (drone?) is an absolute mess over you, and he wouldn’t have it any other way. (You almost forget he's a literal murder drone.)

[kevinsdsy]

THE TROJANS SOCIAL MEDIA AU HEADCANONS pt. 1

laila dermott

laila dermott is muslim!! i've had this headcanon since i read the king's men for the first time in 2019 hehe and now is my time to push it.

nabil & laila are besties. they're both muslim and both in same-sex relationships which leads to them having an understanding of each other like no one else on the team could have with them.

ntm laila fr was his standing pillar when he was figuring out his sexuality

nabil mahmoud

nabil is gay!! which is something he really had to deal with and accept due to him being muslim too (bc what am i without the religious trauma due to sexuality lore)

nabil and tony are dating each other in the socmed au!! even without the au i would like to believe and headcanon there's something happening there :))

i've written a bit more about them in another headcanon post tho.

antonio "tony" jones

tony is what like a year or two older than the rest? he's an assistant and i'm not sure how old they're supposed to be in the book tbh so i would like to think it's possible or he's an intern (i love him being an intern either way tho so i'm very much leaning into that one)

jeremy knox

JEREMY KNOX USED TO PLAY FOOTBALL (soccer), but due to him playing so aggressively and due to him always being guilty of too many fouls he switched to exy :))

cody winter

cody doesn't know what sleep is and they don't care to find out. they're living on like 2 to 4 hours a sleep a night and surprisingly enough it works for them too.

cody is also SUPER competitive which is why they have managed to be part of the captain gc. their competiteviness has led to them pushing the backliners as much as cody can and the backliners actually listen to them too.

shawn anderson

oh shawn. shawn shawn shawn.

you were supposed to be no one. a random guy on the team.

you exist to me now. i feel like i could make a whole post about just him atp.

shawn was supposed to be comedic relief for the posts i felt were too out of character for the rest of the team LMAOO, but now he actually has a personality (to me)

shawn works a part time shop at a café. even though he's surrounded by coffee at all times and drinks so much of it he's the sleepiest guy to ever exist.

like that man gets about 8 hours a sleep every day and still takes nap, but still ends up with bags under his eyes.

he's always tired for some reason and everyone is so used to it atp. like he will ALWAYS sleep on the bus/airplane, no matter how long the drive/flight is.

but when he's finally awake he's so hyper. he says the silliest things. repeats the same phrases over and over again and has about zero filter.

most of the time the zero filter has to do with the fact he speaks before he thinks. it even catches himself off guard sometimes.

i feel like this is too long and we haven't even gotten into jean and shawn dynamic so i'm just gonna cut it off here and they’ll get another part i think

derrick allen

bro we don't even know who derrick is, but apparently he's someone to me now too.

this man has crazy attachment issues, but is also the biggest simp for shawn too.

he likes going around kissing shawn and making out with shawn, but whenever shawn mentions something serious derrick acts like it's just a joke. which i guess is easy to do, because shawn is always treating everything as a joke anyways. except he's really not trying to when it comes to derrick.

jean falls victim to shawn ranting and crying about derrick. so jean respectfully ignores derrick til he gets his shit together.

and i just realised i have SO MUCH to say about derrick and shawn too so let me cut myself off.

derek thompson

same as shawn and derrick. derek is supposed to be a no one, but here i am and suddenly derek is being perceived by me too

SOOO derek was supposed to be like the third party with derrick and shawn. it was supposed to be the three of them flirting and making out and being little shits but then y'all were asking about derrick & shawn and i decided yk what let's do it. then later the short oneshot was written by oomf and derek got mentioned as the one shawn is in love with and i was like oh... i fucked up the dynamic. but in another universe it would've been the three of them ig

ANYWAYYSS derek takes medication. i haven't really decided on what kind of medications, but while thinking about him i always imagined either depression or adhd or both idk

and i have so many more headcanons for the au, but this is too long so i´ll post part 2 another time :))

[ikuramachi]

for those who don’t know, I’m writing my own alternative universe of One Piece where my character exists in it and certain stuff about the plot is altered to fit around my oc’s existence, here’s one of mang examples

Umi and Sanji only become official after Whole Cake Island, they get engaged immediately

do they live happily ever after? maybe, I don't know, probably, but I've made some slight changes to Sanji as well because of this, if you thought his simping gag was obnoxious before, wait until he doesn't know how to shut the fuck up about his wife lmao

so instead of Sanji of constantly being on his hands and knees and pathetically folding for any woman in his sight, now he just starts screaming "I HAVE A WIFE" "I NEED MY WIFE" "WHERE IS MY WIFE" or obnoxiously try to introduce "his wife" to everyone because he loves to show her off

to clarify, even when they're married, that doesn't change the core Sanji trait of being a massive simp for women, that is one of his biggest charms to me personally hence to Umi as well. It's just toned back so that it's less about him being attracted and perverted to him being exaggeratedly admiring, soft and gentle to every woman in general, with Umi being the most special one… obviously

[the-most-humble-blog]

Dad’s Sloppy Seconds: The Jedi Betrayal I’ll Never Unsee

Breakfast was supposed to be normal—just another day, another mediocre meal, another moment of me not questioning my entire existence. But no.

Dad decided to spill his guts over eggs and caf like he was casually commenting on the weather. And what was this Bantha poodoo bombshell?

Oh, just that he and Ahsoka have been bumping uglies for years.

Yeah. Years. Plural. As in, long enough for them to produce a little bastard somewhere out there wielding a goddamn lightsaber.

1. A Cosmic Cockblock

There I was, for who knows how long, thinking I was being slick—plotting, finessing my way into Ahsoka’s baggy pants, only to realize…

I’ve been jerking it to Dad’s sloppy seconds.

You ever have a moment so soul-destroying that you physically feel your stomach implode? That was me. Ahsoka was supposed to be the forbidden Jedi I bagged, not some space milf with Dad’s stamp of approval.

2. "Every Sniff Feels Like I’m Inhaling Dad’s Cosmic Dust"

The worst part? I can’t un-know this shit.

Every time I see Ahsoka, my brain slaps me with a mental image of Dad clapping those orange cheeks.

Every time I hear her voice, I wonder if she whispered the same Jedi wisdom while riding my old man.

And Force help me, every sniff I ever took of Ahsoka’s sweaty drawers? That ain’t just Ahsoka. That’s Dad’s cosmic dust, permanently embedded in the fabric.

I’m living in a nightmare. I’ve been lusting after a used holocron, drinking from the same chalice, licking the same saber.

3. The Family Shame Runs Deep

What’s next? Am I gonna find out my mom banged Yoda? Is my childhood just one long Jedi cuckold simulator? At this point, I wouldn’t be surprised.

I can’t unlearn this. I can’t pretend Ahsoka is still the untouchable Jedi badass I thought she was. No. She’s Dad’s ex, and I’ve been out here acting like a galactic-level simp for someone who already rode my family line.

4. What Now?

I could leave. I could go full exile, become some bitter old hermit on a desert planet. Or I could embrace my fate as the universe’s biggest Cuck.

Either way, one thing’s for sure:

Breakfast will never be the same.

🔥 Follow The Most Humble Blog for more tragic, galaxy-sized L’s and unapologetic truths. If you’re mad? At least you’re not me.