#but in this specific instance its deserved
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Batman: We can't leave this guy in a Russian prison he'll get murdered!
J'onn: How dare you question me! 😡
Rocket Red: We can't leave this guy in a Russian prison he'll get murdered!
J'onn: Okay 👍
???????
#I dislike how petty Batman is characterized in this series#but in this specific instance its deserved#dc#dc comics#comic posting#justice league international#Justice League International 13#Collision Course#Suicide Squad#Suicide Squad 13#Battle Lines#Batman#Bruce Wayne#j'onn j'onzz#Martian Manhunter#Rocket Red#Dmitri Pushkin
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so you talk about your religious trauma and it’s a major theme in your art, and i was wondering what your current relationship with religion is? is in, do you practice any religion or consider yourself religious? if it isn’t too personal :)
im willing to answer !! i dont talk about it on most of my socials outright because people tend to misinterpret things intensely when it comes to this kind of topic, but ill give it a shot trying to write it out. In fact, I will give the whole story of my experience with religion. So its gonna be long.
there will be talk of psychosis, eating disorders, delusions, and self harm in this post. However I will not be graphic in my descriptions.
To start out I suppose for context, my parents are not catholic. my mom doesn’t talk about religion, and my dad doesnt follow anything in the real sense, but practices a lot of principals of buddhism. My nana was catholic, and my extended family vary in their religious beliefs.
That being said, (i think to my nana’s influence) when i started school i attended a small private catholic school which has since been shut down. fun fact ! if you’ve ever watched the Netflix doc “The Keepers” my school was only about 3 miles from where one of the nun’s bodies were found. The priest who was suspected to be the one to blame previously taught at the school i went to before moving to the one he is known for teaching at. Not really relevant, but i did always feel a bit uneasy there as a child so it was a weird thing to find out later.
Anyways, I attended this catholic school for 3 years. pre-k, kindergarden, and first grade. I would often ask to use the restroom and just wander around the halls or hide in the bathroom. I would get scolded for asking questions that were “inappropriate”. The one i remember most vividly was “If God created all of us, who created God ?” to one of the nuns, who became upset with me. We weren’t taught whar we should have been, and when I did move to public school i was far behind my peers in specifically science, math, and history, but I digress. This is my one class photo from our yearbook !

It is important to note that my first remembered instance of psychosis started when i attended this private school. My mom was picking me up one day, there was heavy traffic. She was trying to get over and was complaining no one would let her. I caught myself staring at my reflection in the front mirror of the car, and the clicking of the blinker kind of overwhelmed me. In the constant clicking I “decoded” a message that involved me being told to do something particularly violent. In my small brain in addition to my outside influences, I thought the person that sent this message to me was God. I was confused as to why, but I felt i did something wrong to deserve it. i quietly prayed in the back seat internally for forgiveness.

So I started to receive more messages from “God” commanding me to do something or another, typically vile in some way. i would hear this voice in my head frequently, until eventually it faded out and stopped. I dont remember when it stopped, i just remember i had this experience as a child and then when i was a little older i just didnt think about it anymore.
I do have gaps in my memory of my childhood, pretty big ones, for reasons im still struggling to understand to this day. So that makes things fuzzy. I do remember falling back into religion briefly in middle school, but eventually fell out of it again.
As i approached the end of highschool my mental health was tanking. Mostly with depression and anxiety, however this wouldnt be the worst it would get. In 2019 I was in college and things were getting increasingly worse. I was one of the few people that loved the isolation of the quarantine actually, i fear if not for that what was to come would have been way worse.
My symptoms of psychosis started to creep back into my life. I was already isolating before the quarantine, but got worse after it had started. I know i said i enjoyed it, and i did, but it also fed into some bad habits. Anyways I was becoming increasingly scared and paranoid, I was actively self harming, I was extremely depressed. I had plans to take my own life, a few of them actually. I started eating less. I didnt think much of it, I was just depressed, i have been depressed most of my life so this was just a particularly bad bout for me is what i thought.

That is, until one night where I had my first psychotic episode. It remains to be the worst and only very big episode i have had. I dealt with it mostly alone, never alerting my family of it. I was on the phone with one friend i had at the time, although they were not the kindest to me overall. Despite that they sat with me. This episode led to me standing in one place for over 2 hours too scared to move. When I finally did, it seemed to trigger a more violent outburst.
I wont go into too much detail but i left the experience cried out, bloodied, and heavily bruised. My legs were entirely black and blue for over a month following. After this episode I finally decided to try to get help, and I met with my psychiatrist for the first time. I was immediately put on several antidepressants which ended up being beneficial but in the beginning caused me to lose my appetite entirely. This is when i fell more and more into my eating disorder. With this though, I was still experiencing delusions and hallucinations and got put on my first antipsychotic.
It helped with my symptoms, and it helped me get back to a normal weight. Even tho at the time I was abusing my adderall I was still able to get my body (mostly) back to normal, at least physically. That being said, while my symptoms were lessened they were not gone, it just became less scary to me. Maybe it was because I was being desensitized, but thats something to ponder another time.

I started to become more and more infatuated with catholicism again from that original episode forward. I was obsessed and that voice of god returned to me. I started hearing clicking and chirping coming from the back of my right ear, which ive dubbed as a “chip” in my brain placed by god for me to receive his messages. I thought there was an evil inside of me that needed to be let out, which i did by participating in frequent bloodletting to force out the bad, and make my body create newer, cleaner, and holier blood. This was something i felt I had to keep up often so that this evil force wouldnt take over. I was eventually able to stop self harming, and have been clean for over 2 years now. It is hard and i still feel the need to “cleanse” myself, but i try my best to push it down.
Fast foreward to 2022 and I would start the first piece in my painting series. I still experienced symptoms but much less frequently ! I started to detail my experience thru art. I would finish the first piece in my series titled “Forgive Me Father” in 2023. Since then I have made many more.

So we finally get to today. I have waited to talk about my current relationship with religion until the end as I felt the context was necessary, and to be honest it is complicated. As you can tell, It has effected me greatly and has come and gone in my life.
I would say from where I am now, I am not religious. A better way to put it i suppose is i consciously make the choice to not be. Like I said its complicated.
I like to think of it as there is two of me in my body. One is paranoid, scared, and extremely delusional. This is the part that still believes god is communicating with them. This is the person that still prays for forgiveness and cries over the fear of being sent to hell for their sins, all approved and constructed by god himself. and then theres my rational side, which exists im sure solely because of my medication. This part is extremely self aware, can tell when i am being delusional or irrational, who knows this is something caused by my illness. They exist side by side, at the same time, always. They fight in my head for control but always exist simultaniously, think of it like a pie chart. one may be more prevelant but the other is still always there.
So in a way, there is a lot I do personally believe. That being said the reason I do believe is because of my schizophrenia. So I choose to navigate my life as someone who actively does not believe as an attempt to not let the delusion control me. do i think people who are religious are delusional ? I do not, but I know in my personal case what leads me to believe these things is an unwell mind.
I still have an intense fascination with catholicism and religion in general. I think its a beautiful thing, it moves me, but i must keep it at a distance to avoid hurting me. It is not something I can actively engage in outside of general interest because it would kill me, and despite my previous statements i would like to live at least a little longer haha.

With all that said, and I doubt anyone will read this whole thing, its been a rollercoaster of a ride. If anyone has questions about it, feel free to ask. Im an open book about this stuff online most days, and Im willing to offer any information about it.
#my art#in gods hands#psychosis#mental health#mental heath awareness#schizophrenia#schizophrenic#psychosis awareness#religious delusions#religious trauma#mental illness#writing
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How to make your writing sound less stiff part 2
Part 1
Again, just suggestions that shouldn’t have to compromise your author voice, as I sit here doing my own edits for a WIP.
1. Crutch words
Specifically when you have your narrator taking an action instead of just… writing that action. Examples:
Character wonders/imagines/thinks/realizes
Character sees/smells/feels
Now not all of these need to be cut. There’s a difference between:
Elias stops. He realizes they’re going in the wrong direction.
And
Elias takes far too long to realize that it’s not horribly dark wherever they are
Crutch words are words that don’t add anything to the sentence and the sentence can carry on with the exact same meaning even if you delete it. Thus:
Elias stops. They’re going in the wrong direction.
I need a word in the second example, whether it’s realizes, understands, or notices, unless I rework the entire sentence. The “realization” is implied by the hard cut to the next sentence in the first example.
2. Creating your own “author voice”
Unless the tone of the scene demands otherwise, my writing style is very conversational. I have a lot of sentence fragments to reflect my characters’ scatterbrained thoughts. I let them be sarcastic and sassy within the narration. I leave in instances of “just” (another crutch word) when I think it helps the sentence. Example:
…but it’s just another cave to Elias.
Deleting the “just” wouldn’t hit as hard or read as dismissive and resigned.
I may be writing in 3rd person limited, but I still let the personalities of my characters flavor everything from the syntax to metaphor choices. It’s up to you how you want to write your “voice”.
I’ll let dialogue cut off narration, like:
Not that he wouldn’t. However, “You can’t expect me to believe that.”
Sure it’s ~grammatically incorrect~ but you get more leeway in fiction. This isn’t an essay written in MLA or APA format. It’s okay to break a few rules, they’re more like guidelines anyway.
3. Metaphor, allegory, and simile
There is a time and a place to abandon this and shoot straight because oftentimes you might not realize you’re using these at all. It’s the difference between:
Blinding sunlight reflects off the window sill
And
Sunlight bounces like high-beams off the window sill
It’s up to you and what best fits the scene.
Sometimes there’s more power in not being poetic, just bluntly explicit. Situations like describing a character’s battle wounds (whatever kind of battle they might be from, whether it be war or abuse) don’t need flowery prose and if your manuscript is metaphor-heavy, suddenly dropping them in a serious situation will help with the mood and tonal shift, even if your readers can’t quite pick up on why immediately.
Whatever the case is, pick a metaphor that fits the narrator. If my narrator is comparing a shade of red to something, pick a comparison that makes sense.
Red like the clouds at sunset might make sense for a character that would appreciate sunsets. It’s romantic but not sensual, it’s warm and comforting.
Red like lipstick stains on a wine glass hints at a very different image and tone.
Metaphor can also either water down the impact of something, or make it so much worse so pay attention to what you want your reader to feel when they read it. Are you trying to shield them from the horror or dig it in deep?
4. Paragraph formatting
Nothing sticks out on a page quite like a line of narrative all by itself. Abusing this tactic will lessen its effect so save single sentence paragraphs for lines you want to hammer your audiences with. Lines like romantic revelations, or shocking twists, or characters giving up, giving in. Or just a badass line that deserves a whole paragraph to itself.
I do it all the time just like this.
Your writing style might not feature a bunch of chunky paragraphs to emphasize smaller lines of text (or if you’re writing a fic on A03, the size of the screen makes many paragraphs one line), but if yours does, slapping a zinger between two beefy paragraphs helps with immersion.
5. Polysyndeton and Asyndeton
Not gibberish! These, like single-sentence paragraphs, mix up the usual flow of the narrative that are lists of concepts with or without conjunctions.
Asyndeton: We came. We saw. We conquered. It was cold, grey, lifeless.
Polysyndeton: And the birds are out and the sun is shining and it might rain later but right now I am going to enjoy the blue sky and the puffy white clouds like cotton balls. They stand and they clap and they sing.
Both are for emphasis. Asyndeton tends to be "colder" and more blunt, because the sentence is blunt. Polysyntedon tends to be more exciting, overwhelming.
We came and we saw and we conquered.
The original is rather grim. This version is almost uplifting, like it's celebrating as opposed to taunting, depending on how you look at it.
—
All of these are highly situational, but if you’re stuck, maybe try some out and see what happens.
*italicized quotes are from ENNS, the rest I made up on the spot save for the Veni Vidi Vici.
#writing#writing advice#writing resources#writing a book#writing tips#writing tools#writeblr#for beginners#sentence structure#book formatting#literary devices
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Considering that there’s another post going around that lands on this conclusion, I think it deserves its own succinct post:
When transmascs share instances of positivity to remind each other that the way we are treated isn’t all bad, it’s then used as proof of the whole of transmasc experiences being this way, and that transmascs are not oppressed as a whole.
When transmascs share instances of harm done to transmascs to raise awareness that transmascs are harmed directly within our societies, it’s used as proof that we are taking up too much room in conversations because the harm we face “isn’t bad enough”.
When transmascs share instances of outright murder of members of our community to show that no, transmasc issues are not somehow “lesser” because “we aren’t dying” because we are dying, it’s used as proof that we are trauma dumping and trying to make other people feel sorry for us—look at these AFABs being whiny and hysterical and trying to portray themselves as victims. Or that it isn’t specific enough to us so we should shut up and let other people speak for us.
Transmascs cannot speak about our experiences without being touted as an example of why transmascs as a whole should shut up.
This is erasure.
#my post#noooo I didn’t just make this post because I don’t want to interact with that other post because of personal hangups that no one else#should have about the post. truly it’s entirely a Me and My Personal Situation thing#the post is fine#I just was a little frustrated about how much I wanted to reblog and also like#not interact with it at all at the same time#so I made this post#shhhhh#transandrophobia#transmisandry#anti-transmasculinity#erasure through silencing
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Why Rise Raph and Mikey are Unappreciated and Underrepresented in the Fandom: Leo/Donnie Favoritism, Anti-Black Racism, and Sizeism
It's refreshing to see that more Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fans nowadays seem to be waking up to the fact that Leo and Donnie get way more attention from the fandom than Raph and Mikey do. However, what's still missing from most of these discussions is exactly why that's the case.
With Raph and Mikey being voiced by Black actors (Omar Benson Miller and Brandon Mychal Smith, respectively) and Raph being a character with a big, burly physique, anti-Black racism and sizeism (in the case of Raph) are definitely factors in all of this. In contrast, Leo and Donnie are voiced by white actors, and both characters have a much smaller build than Raph does. And in the world that we live in with both anti-Blackness and sizeism, sadly and upsettingly, being the norm, it's easy to see why Leo and Donnie receive the favoritism that they do compared to Raph and Mikey.
But this favoritism doesn't just begin and end with the RotTMNT fandom because the series itself shows a preference for Leo and Donnie as well. Arguably, it's those two who receive most of the focus in the show, with many episodes revolving around them or being from their point of view.
The way both the series and the fandom downplay Raph’s parentification due to Splinter’s neglect also is a notable example of how a Black-coded and big teenage character like Raph is treated so dismissively by the creators, writers, and fans. After having raised his three younger brothers for years, Raph has his role as team leader stripped from him by his neglectful father with that role given to his much thinner, white actor-voiced brother, Leo. And, that's not even going into the proverbial mess that is the season two episode "Raph’s Ride Along," which makes light of police brutality and profiling against a Black(-coded) child. The adultification of Black children, and in this instance, specifically large Black boys, is likewise tied into the implications of "Raph’s Ride Along" as well as Raph’s treatment within the series overall. Honestly, all of that deserves its own write-up, but that'll have to be for another time.
Anyway, my point is that Raph and Mikey, especially Raph, haven't been given as much appreciation or grace by pretty much anyone, including the folks who made the series. All this also serves as a reminder for why it's important to have Black talent on all levels of production, not just as performers but as creators and producers. Or if not that, at the very least, projects should have non-Black creators who have enough know-how to portray Black/Black-coded characters adequately, treating them with as much care, attention, and respect as they would their white/white-coded counterparts. RotTMNT fans could also stand to do more questioning as to why they don't feel as drawn to represent Raph and Mikey as much as they do Leo and Donnie.
#teenage mutant ninja turtles#tmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the tmnt#rottmnt#my tmnt takes#rottmnt critical
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Hi Mindy! I’m a college student and I’m struggling to go to bed at a decent hour (think 3 am bedtimes every day) because of the amount of homework I have. Do you have any tips for time management so I can figure out how to get my homework done all during the day so I’m not losing sleep? (Any app recommendations or suggestions on how to schedule my day would be greatly appreciated). Thank you so much! I love your blog and I love seeing your posts🩷
how to get your life together & actually sleep: time management tips for college✨




hi love! 💌 first off, thank you so much for your sweet words. they genuinely made me smile. i’m so proud of you for wanting to improve your time management and prioritize your sleep (honestly, sleep is like the ultimate self-care, and you deserve it). i know college can feel like a whirlwind of assignments, deadlines, and just… life. staying up until 3 am is no joke, and it’s amazing that you’re ready to make a change. let’s make your routine feel a little more manageable and a lot more magical.
☁️ romanticize your productivity: first thing’s first: mindset. instead of viewing homework as this scary, endless task that eats up your nights, try to romanticize it. create a cozy study ritual. light a candle, make a cute study playlist (ex: lo-fi mixed with soft acoustics), and set up your space in a way that makes you actually want to sit down and work. i know it sounds silly, but giving your study sessions a soft, aesthetic vibe can make them feel less like a chore and more like a peaceful little routine. i have a lot of posts talking about this
🌙 break down your workload: sometimes it’s not about how much work you have but how it’s organized. take a few minutes in the morning or the night before to make a list of what you actually need to accomplish. break it down into small, bite-sized tasks. for example, instead of “study for chem exam,” write down “review chapter 4 notes,” “do practice problems,” and “make flashcards for key concepts.” checking off small tasks feels way more rewarding than staring at a big, vague to-do.
💡 create a time-blocking ritual: i’m obsessed with time-blocking because it feels like giving each task its own little home. instead of doing everything all at once (which is just chaos), dedicate specific chunks of time to each task. for instance:
🌼 9-10 am: review lecture notes
✨ 10-11:30 am: work on that essay (no distractions)
🍓 11:30-12: take a break, stretch, grab a snack
💻 12-1: group project research set timers to keep yourself accountable. i use the “focus keeper” app for 25-minute work sessions with 5-minute breaks. it’s surprisingly motivating!
📅 the magic of reverse scheduling: if you know you want to be in bed by, say, 11 pm, plan your day backwards from there. schedule your evening wind-down routine (like skincare, a little journaling, and tea) and work your way back through the hours, assigning tasks in reverse. this way, you’re prioritizing sleep as non-negotiable and shaping your day to respect that.
✨ my fave apps for dreamy productivity:
notion: perfect for creating aesthetic, organized to-do lists, study schedules, and even journaling about your progress.
flora: turns studying into a game by planting a virtual tree while you focus. if you leave the app, the tree dies (no pressure, right?).
toggl: tracks your time so you can see how long tasks actually take. it’s eye-opening to realize you might be spending way more time scrolling than studying.
clockify: like a little personal assistant that tracks your study sessions and breaks. it’s simple and kind of addicting to see how productive you’ve been.
habitica: makes productivity feel like an RPG game. complete with character upgrades when you check things off. honestly, it’s too cute to resist.
💖 mindy’s personal tips:
📝 batch similar tasks: do all your note-taking at once, then all your problem-solving. your brain doesn’t have to keep switching gears.
🎯 use the “two-minute rule”: if something takes less than two minutes, do it right away (like replying to emails or organizing your notes).
🕰️ the 1-3-5 rule: pick one big task, three medium tasks, and five small ones to accomplish each day. it keeps your to-do list from being overwhelming.
✨ romanticize rest too: treat your sleep as sacred. create a pre-bed routine that you actually look forward to, like reading a few pages of a lighthearted book or doing a little night yoga.
🌸 don't forget how important 'no' is: sometimes, we overcommit because we’re too nice to say no. it’s okay to protect your time! practice polite ways to decline extra responsibilities when you know they’ll eat into your sleep. like, “i’d love to help, but i have to focus on my assignments tonight. let’s plan something for the weekend!”
🌙 gentle evening wind-down: your body needs time to transition from productivity mode to sleep mode. about an hour before bed, turn off your screens, dim the lights, and switch to calming activities. i like using the “calm” app for guided meditations that feel like little bedtime stories.
🌱 become a morning person (yes, it’s possible)
one trick that really works is having something to look forward to. think of a tiny, indulgent ritual that you save just for mornings. maybe it’s a frothy matcha latte with vanilla syrup, journaling in a pretty notebook, or listening to your favorite podcast while you stretch. the key is to make mornings feel like a gift to yourself rather than just the start of a grind.
set your alarm to a song that makes you feel good!! something soft and happy. bonus points if it’s different from your usual playlist because it’ll feel special. place your phone across the room so you have to physically get up to turn it off. i also love using the “alarmy” app because it makes you solve a simple puzzle before it stops ringing (annoying, but effective).
once you’re up, avoid falling back into bed by making your bed immediately. it’s like telling your brain, “we’re up now. no going back.” then, try a quick, gentle morning stretch to wake your body up without feeling rushed. mornings can actually feel soft and peaceful if you give yourself permission to take it slow.
as for getting enough sleep the night before. make it non-negotiable. treat your bedtime like an important meeting you can’t cancel. remind yourself that a well-rested mind works way better than a sleep-deprived one. it’s all about romanticizing rest as part of your productivity rather than seeing it as wasted time.
give it a week, and see how you feel. even a small shift, like waking up 30 minutes earlier, can make your day feel more spacious and less chaotic. being a morning person is just about creating tiny habits that make mornings feel like a calm beginning rather than a rushed scramble.
🌸 micro productivity okay, let’s be real... sometimes the idea of sitting down for a three-hour study session feels completely overwhelming. that’s where micro productivity comes in. instead of blocking out huge chunks of time, break your tasks into mini-sprints that fit into the small gaps of your day.
for example, while waiting for your coffee to brew, you could make a quick list of your priorities for the day. during your commute or while you’re eating lunch, review your flashcards or skim your notes. those little moments add up, and suddenly your workload doesn’t feel as intense because you’ve been chipping away at it throughout the day.
one of my favorite apps for this is “quizlet.” you can make digital flashcards and quickly review them whenever you have a spare moment. or use “ankidroid” for spaced repetition. it’s great for subjects that require lots of memorization.
another trick? the “two-minute rule.” if a task takes less than two minutes, do it immediately rather than adding it to your to-do list. this helps clear out small, annoying tasks that tend to pile up (like replying to emails or organizing your desktop).
i also love the idea of micro journaling. sometimes, when you’re overwhelmed, writing down just one thought or feeling can give your brain the clarity it craves. it doesn’t have to be a full journal entry, just a few words that capture your mood or intention.
don’t underestimate the function of small wins. every tiny task you complete builds momentum and makes the bigger assignments feel more doable. it’s like telling yourself, “i’m already being productive today. let’s keep that energy going.”
the goal is to make productivity feel more like a series of little achievements rather than one massive to-do list. micro productivity helps you stay on top of things without burning out, and it feels way more manageable when your schedule is packed.
💫 stay motivated when your energy is low we’ve all been there. those days when your brain feels like it’s wrapped in a fog, and the idea of tackling your to-do list feels impossible. it’s okay to have low-energy days, but let’s find a way to work with them instead of against them.
first, check in with yourself. is your low energy from lack of sleep, stress, or just general burnout? sometimes just identifying the reason helps you figure out what kind of self-care you need. if you’re physically tired, maybe your focus should be on rest or low-effort tasks. if it’s more mental fatigue, try switching up your study space or doing something creative to break the monotony.
use the idea of “productive rest.” sometimes, resting doesn’t mean doing nothing. it can be as simple as switching tasks to something lighter, like organizing your notes or doing some gentle stretching while listening to a podcast related to your coursework. this way, you’re still moving forward, just at a gentler pace.
set up a reward system to motivate yourself. for example, after 20 minutes of studying, give yourself a 5-minute break to scroll through pinterest or listen to a song you love. use apps like “forest” to stay focused during your work session and then celebrate with a cute coffee break when your tree grows.
also, be kind to yourself. it’s okay if you’re not operating at 100% all the time. instead of pushing yourself to be overly productive, prioritize what actually needs to get done. sometimes, just getting one important task out of the way is enough for the day, and that’s completely valid.
remember, your energy levels fluctuate, and that’s perfectly normal. don’t pressure yourself to be endlessly productive. balance is key. the goal is sustainable productivity, not burning out from trying to do everything at once. listen to your body, adjust your pace, and know that it’s okay to take breaks when you need them.
💫 final thoughts: it’s all about balance, being productive during the day is great, but you’re human. you can’t be on 24/7. give yourself grace when things don’t go perfectly. the goal isn’t perfection; it’s progress. prioritize rest as much as you prioritize getting things done, and your mind (and grades) will thank you.
xoxo mindy
#time management#college tips#study hacks#productivity tips#sleep schedule#self improvement#academic success#college advice#study motivation#night owl problems#morning routine#glow up#study aesthetic#tumblr studyblr#productive life#wellness tips#glowettee#mindy’s tips#soft girl lifestyle#cozy productivity#self care routine#girlblogger#becoming that girl#it girl energy#pink#diary#leveling up#level up journey#healing#self love
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JASON TODD VS. DABI: WHY NOT ME?
"You haven't been here long but you've seen him, right? The batman. The batman. He lives in darkness, to find the helpless and bring them into the light. So I have to wonder...why couldn't he do it for me?" The Boy Wonder: Issue #2
This is the story of the boy who didn't get saved. The story of a boy who really ought to have been saved. Of course, every victim deserves to be saved, but this boy was the son of a superhero. Can a hero who saves everyone, but fails to save his own son really be called a hero? As for the son, how does it feel to watch his father save complete strangers but let him fall to the wayside?
Jason Todd and Dabi are two characters with similar backstories and motives (so similar it's possible Dabi is outright based on Jason Todd) which are worthy of comparison. These are two tragic arcs which explore the conflict between a hero's responsibility to act as a father, and their responsibility to save people. As I said they are tragic because in both cases the hero fails, as a father, and a hero. However, I'm comparing the two because Jason Todd's story is a well written tragedy, and Toya's story is not.
If you were to write a story of my life, it would surely be a tragedy.
Aristotle's Poetics is the first attempt to define what Tragedy is, not as a story where sad things happen but a specific story structure. He outlines not only what makes tragedy, tragedy, but also what makes a good tragedy.
The Plot, then, is the first principle, and, as it were, the soul of a tragedy: Character holds the second place. A similar fact is seen in painting. The most beautiful colours, laid on confusedly, will not give as much pleasure as the chalk outline of a portrait. Thus Tragedy is the imitation of an action, and of the agents mainly with a view to the action.
I use this quote because the painting metaphor is a great way of explaining what I'm getting at, you can have a painting with the most wonderful colors, you can have a story with really good ideas like the Todoroki family plotline but if you don't use those colors correctly all you're going to end up with is a bad painting.
In poetics Aristotle clearly defines a tight well-structured plot as the first priority for effective tragedy, character as second.
Again, a beautiful object, whether it be a living organism or any whole composed of parts, must not only have an orderly arrangement of parts, but must also be of a certain magnitude; for beauty depends on magnitude and order. Hence a very small animal organism cannot be beautiful; for the view of it is confused, the object being seen in an almost imperceptible moment of time. Nor, again, can one of vast size be beautiful; for as the eye cannot take it all in at once, the unity and sense of the whole is lost for the spectator; as for instance if there were one a thousand miles long
To make sure you understand, it's vital in tragedy for all the pieces to fit together. Tragedy is a specific story format. Good tragedy uses the parts of a story well, but bad tragedy is sloppy and poorly put together. In tragedy, the whole has to be greater than the sum of its parts. The Todoroki Family are all good characters out of context, but the story could have enhanced their characters but detracted from them due to how poorly it is told. The fact that a lot of MHA fans are in love with the Todoroki family out of the context of the story, but also have constant complaints for how Horikoshi handles their plotlines is, in my opinion, very telling.
What Aristotle goes on to posit is the best tragedies do not come about by accident, but rather by the direct actions of the characters.
But again, Tragedy is an imitation not only of a complete action, but of events inspiring fear or pity. Such an effect is best produced when the events come on us by surprise; and the effect is heightened when, at the same time, they follow as cause and effect. The tragic wonder will thee be greater than if they happened of themselves or by accident; for even coincidences are most striking when they have an air of design.
Therefore Tragedies require consequentialism, like Newton's Third Law, every action will have an equal and opposite reaction. To simplify a good tragedy arises from the consequences of the character's actions (or inaction). The most basic form is that the hero of the story will have a tragic flaw that they fail to improve upon in time and then leads to their destruction. In essence, tragedy is where the hero fails. Not only does the hero fail, but the hero loses, and that irreversible loss is what defines tragedy. Medea slays her own children, Oedipus rips his own eyes off and deserts his kingdom, Creon Antigone is buried alive and Creon's son, her fiancee, commits suicide.
These events share two things in common, they are irreversible (hence why they feel like good endings), and two they evoke catharsis. Aristotle defines the goal of tragedy to evoke terror and pity. We feel alongside these heroes, Medea was abandoned by the husband Jason who she left her home and slaughtered her own brother for, Oedipus did all of his crimes unwittingly and is a victim of fate, Antigone was doing the right thing by burying her brother so his soul could pass on to the afterlife.
There's all different sorts of tragedies, Hamliet explores more here. I'd say UTRH and Hellish Todoroki Family are tragedies centered around grief.
Tragedy works on extreme emotions, and extreme hard-hitting consequences to the hero's failures. The worst thing a tragedy can be is boring.
The Tragic Hero
Now that I'm done lecturing you let's actually talk about both My Hero Academia and Batman like I promised. Both of these stories don't actually feature the central victim as their protagonist, and that is a feature not a flaw.
Rather, the story we are being told is that of a tragic hero, failing to save a tragic victim because of their own personal flaws.
These flaws are called (hamartia) or "error in judgement". A hero, being called a hero of a story is often unaware of his flaws which is central to what makes them unable to fix those flaws in time. That flaw can later lead to a moral failing, such as Othello's jealousy, initially jealousy is an understandable emotion, but then it leads to him trusting Iago over his own wife and killing his wife in a rage.
Most importantly, the hero’s suffering and its far-reaching reverberations are far out of proportion to his flaw.
Let's begin with talking of the heroes and their flaws, Batman and Endeavor. My main reason for comparing these two is in these specific stories they have the same flaw, inability to move past their personal guilt towards their son, and the same conflict the duty of a father versus the duty of a hero.
However, Batman functions as a tragic hero, and Enji does not. The summary of their conflict is right here in these two panels.
A parent is required to place their children above everything else, because they are the ones responsible for bringing that child into the world. Bruce Wayne made the decision to adopt Jason. Enji made the decision to have children, however with Enji you have the added insidious motivation of he only wanted to make designer babies and just didn't care for the ones who didn't turn out right.
Bruce attempts to do both, to act as a father for Jason and also a crime fighter as batman but he can't do both. This comes to a head in Death of the Family when Jason is having serious trouble because of his lack of a strong parental figure, and Bruce knowing that Jason is in trouble chooses still to go off and fight crime instead of staying with him. The choice to place crimefighting over the child they chose to take responsibility for has the unintended consequence of getting that child killed.
Whereas Enji makes the same choice over and over again, ignoring Toya's clear troubles at the fact his father no longer spends time with him and choosing to run away to the world of heroes because he doesn't want to face the fact that his actions are severely hurting his son. Bruce's motivations are more sympathetic admittedly he wasn't actively practicing eugenics, but the choice is the same and the consequences are the same.
Both Bruce and Enji are forced to bear witness to the deaths of their children when they are not there, specifically because they made a choice to be a hero instead of staying by their child's side. A situation directly caused by their choice to be a hero over a father, and a situation that would have been avoided if they had stayed with their child in their time of need. Jason runs off when Batman tells him to stay and gets kidnapped by the Joker, if Enji had been on Sekoto peak that day Toya would never have accidentally lost control of his fire.
This is just the backstory however, the main event that kickstart this plot is the unexpected return from the dead of both Jason and Dabi. Each story follows the same plot beats. A new villain appears to challenge Endeavor / Batman. The villain reveals themselves as their dead son. Both Endeavor / Batman are given a chance to try reaching out to their sons, but they choose not to.
Then even though they are given a second chance with a miracle of a dead son coming back to them, they choose the exact same thing they chose before, being a hero and because of that the tragedy repeats itself. For both of them they are unable to save their son again, and the son goes through a second death. History repeats itself, the lesson isn't learned.
Their fatal flaw is their guilt. This is a story about grief and mourning after all, a son who is died, buried, but never grieved properly, never mourned, an open wound on the father suddenly coming back. The inability of each to process their grief blinds them from seeing the fact the son has come back, and they have a second chance.
Toya has internalized he is a failure, because Enji literally called him that. Jason believes that Batman thinks he is a failure. In both cases the father is the one who failed, Bruce at least acknowledges this but cannot communicate it in any way shape or form.
This guilt and responsibility both Enji and Bruce feel causes them to self-sabotage. They no longer have the confidence they are in the right (they no longer feel like heroes because they have failed to be heroes to their own son).
You can also add the layer of complication that since both men chose to be heroes in the past, they do not know how to handle the situation as a father now that they're being challenged to step up as one. Unfortunately, they are not the fathers that stepped up.
The reason their grief becomes a flaw is because they put their grief over their victims. . Each man is aware too much of their own failure, and while they should feel guilty they make the classic mistake of placing their own guilt over the feelings of the victim. The guilt they feel for causing the death and the genuine grief of losing a son is given priority over Jason and Dabi who you know... actually died.
An overwhelming grief and guilt is understandable because grief is a messy and human emotion, losing a child is an unimaginable tragedy that should never be inflicted on anyone.
Yet at the same time both Dabi and Jason are grieving to. This paradox that Batman only thinks of his own grief at losing a son and never stops to think about how Jason must feel leads to one of the best lines in Under the Red Hood.
"The father had lost a son, and now the son had lost a father."
Batman's guilt is so strong over being the cause of Jason's suffering, that the suffering of the victim himself is ignored. To be fair to My Hero Academia, the Todorokis say a similar line to Enji.
However, this is where I begin to get into the difference between ideas and execution. Tragedies are stories of actions and logical consequences, every action has an equal and opposite reaction in Under the Red Hood. Batman is punished for the choices he makes, the choices he doesn't make, and the choices he fails to make in time.
The Todoroki plotline features almost none of its character making any choices of substance, and because of that the plotline says the right things over and over again, but it all comes off as tell don't show.
I'm going to quote @codenamesazanka's post right here a couple of times because they describe the complete failure of the Todoroki plotline to show us a reason why we should be feeling things for the characters artfully.
We've heard Enji say this before - I'm sorry, I intend to atone. It's indeed the right thing to say, it's exactly what he should be saying and acting. Natsuo is declaring no contact - That's fine, I'm sorry, I accept this as part of my atonement and will continue. Touya calls him a coward - That's fine, I'm sorry, I accept this as part of my atonement and will continue. The public hates him - That's fine, I'm sorry, I accept this as part of my atonement and will continue. But you can only hear this so many times before you want to snap and beat the character, the story, the writing over the head with Enji's wheelchair. Why is that? He's behaving exactly as he should, and yet...
The reason why it fails to evoke strong feelings is because of what we'd called "narrative dissonance." The actions of Bruce and Enji are the same, they both neglect to do anything, make any real attempts to reach out to their victims because they're paralyzed by guilt.
However, we are told that they have entirely different arcs. Bruce's arc is a tragic fall. He's failing as a hero. While we are being told that Enji is experiencing an arc of atonement. Enji is supposed to be improving himself, and Bruce is supposed to be experiencing negative character development but they both do the exact same thing in story. Bruce neglects Jason, we are told by the story, by the characters in the story that Bruce is failing Jason. Enji does nothing in time to actually atone for Toya or try to help him, yet, we are told again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again that Enji is atoning with nothing substantive to show us this is the case.
To show what I meant instead of telling this scene is in chapter 252.
This scene is the ending point in chapter in chapter #426.
It's just him repeating the exact same sentiment and yet in a more than 150+ chapter gap, Enji never made any action to show he was now placing his family first. Enji didn't say anything to Dabi when he revealed himself as Toya. Enji didn't look for Toya in the months before the final war arc. Enji literally appeared on live TV in a broadcast that Toya was watching and said the very selfish "Watch Me" atone for the crime of creating Toya instead of literally talking about Toya or too Toya. Well, that would have rocked the boat too much... THAT IS LITERALLY THE POINT. Enji had to somehow break from tradition or make some significant sacrifice onscreen to his social standing to show that he's willing to put his family first. Enji decides to go along with Hawks decision to not face Toya head on, making the decision to be the hero for the final time which directly causes Toya to get up after Shoto brings him down non-lethally and make one last attempt to suicide bomb for his father's inaction.
Bruce does nothing for a long time in Under the Red Hood. He ignores his initial instinct that Jason came back and instead makes a long investigation on whether or not someone can come back from the dead in order to distract himself. When Jason takes the mask off, Batman already knew but was pretending otherwise because he didn't want to face the reality.
Even when Jason takes his mask off, Bruce still takes on the "I need to investigate this" angle even though Jason calls him out that deep down he already knows it's the truth. This of course foreshadows Bruce's underlying flaw, he doesn't want to face Jason head on because he feels too much grief about what happened to Jason and his guilt is more important than Jason's own grief. Just as the father has lost the son, the son has lost the father.
What follows is several chapters of Batman fighting crime as usual and making no attempts to directly search for Jason. They cross paths a few times but when they do Bruce doesn't follow. In fact, Bruce only shows up when Jason sends Bruce a sample of the joker's hair and Bruce knows that the Joker has kidnapped him out of Arkham. Bruce almost lets Jason get killed by Black Mask because he doesn't know whether to stop Jason or save him yet again, and then they have their final showdown where Jason has kidnapped the joker to demand Bruce kill him, and Bruce finally attempts to talk him down.
Out of context it sounds like I'm describing the same plotline, to the point where if you haven't read either, it looks like I'm complaining baselessly. Why is one hero doing nothing until it's too late good, and the other bad? The difference is of course context, or rather framing. Bruce's actions are called out by the people around him (Dick, Jason, Alfred) as him handling the situation wrong. Whereas both Enji's internal monologue and other characters say that he is doing his best to atone for his actions and deserves a chance, but the events we are shown in story are the exact opposite.
Here's another example to SHOW my point. Here's Dabi with my special, hardcover edition of under the Red Hood.
I reread the entirety of the fourteen chapter plotline and the majority of internal narrations come from characters outside of Bruce observing his behavior and commenting on how differently he's acting. Jason's backstory for instance is told by Alfred, not Bruce. Dick Grayson the first Robin comments on Batman's odd behavior. The rest are the third person narrator. Bruce has four instances of internal monologues spanning a few pages each in a 378 page story. (Alfred has the most internal monologues and he's presented as a more trustworthy unbiased narrator than Bruce, to get us to question Bruce's actions).
"Information travels on many routes, sometimes it comes predictably like the tides. You just need to know where to stand and meet it. Other times it's elusive and you have to root through the garbage to find it. In the last few years I've come to rely on Barbara Gordon, Oracle, we all did. Utilizing every form of surveillance equipment she has been the eyes and ear [...] but those days are over. I can't rely on anyone anymore. [...] and tonight it's also about the company I keep. It's different with him [night wing] out here. I think about when he was younger, when I was younger, it was different, simpler and I miss it. I miss those days, for that it's hard to be around him.
This first internal monologue is a case of unreliable narrator, because as soon as finishing it Dick Grayson / Nightwing shows up, offers Batman his help and while Bruce at first refuses it the two of them are forced to work together to fight Amazo. What does this show us? Bruce is not alone, but Bruce actively acts like he's alone ignoring the feelings of the other people around him. It exhibits a flaw of Bruce and the bad headspace he is in mentally (if I remember correctly Stephanie Brown recently died in the comics while this storyline was being published. It establishes Bruce's improper coping mechanism with grief, and how he is going about it the incorrect way.
Bruce says I work alone, and then Bruce says it's easier working with Dick, I miss it, but I can't go back to those days. It's bruce's contradictory thinking patterns in the same chapter that stop him. it's bruce's fault he cannot connect to Dick, and he is actively mourning the past because his relationship with Dick has changed.
Now the final part of the monologue in that chapter.
He's quick. Not just fast, agile. He's not thinking about his next move, he's just making it. He's been trained well. And there's something about him. Something familiar. There was something interesting about before he cut the line, before it had been taught. That had to have been practiced. Either that or just plain dumb luck. No it's not luck.
This is the first hint that Bruce already suspects it's Jason from early on but is in denial about it. This unreliable narrator trope also gives an agency to Bruce's decision, he is actively choosing to ignore the possibility that it's Jason because it doesn't want it to be.
Whereas, a lot of Endeavor's plot takes away any agency from him. For example, he doesn't even know that Dabi is Toya, because if he had the sneaking suspicion and ignored it like Batman did that might have made him look bad. We can't have the main character in a tragedy looking bad now can we?
The second monologue is more denial.
That device is from Kord industries. I should know. Ordered it special from them. How can he have it? No more dead ends. No more questions. No more guessing. Tonight I find out what is passing for the truth.
Reading between the lines this is outright confirmation Batman already knows.
The third is a brief reflection in his feelings for Jason.
The armor has to be light enough to fit but strong enough to protect. But sometimes a great many times, it's not strong enough. It wans't strong enough for Barbara who has to fight from her chair. It wasn't strong enough for Stephanie, other dear soldier enough dear grave. And it wasn't enough for Jason. Willful Jason. Who ignored the danger. Who spat at risk. Who was never frightened enough. I've always wondered... always... was he scared at the end? Was he praying I'd come save him? And in those last moments when he knew that I wouldn't. Did he hate me for it?
This monologue directly shows without stating it outright, Bruce is prioritizing his feelings of grief and failure mixing them in with his genuine grief over the loss of a son. it's selfish of him, but grief is a selfish emotion.
Here's the thing Bruce is allowed to be selfish and to not have the correct reaction to his grief, because the whole story is centered on Bruce being unable to get his shit together in time, and this picture into his emotions is an explanation as to why. Bruce is afraid of being hated by Jason. Jason of course has every right to hate him for failing as a father, but still I think not wanting to be hated to a person you loved so much and feel genuinely sorry over what you let happen to them is an understandable reaction.
Meanwhile we have Enji saying repeatedly all the right things in his monologue, the selfless, I don't need to be forgiven, it's okay if they hate me, I just need to atone but he never actually does anything. There's no explanation for why he isn't doing anything either, so that narrative dissonance. We're shown why Bruce doesn't act in time, he's internally a mess to be frank. We are not shown why Enji doesn't act in time because his internal monologue tells us again and again he's committed to atoning and he understands what the right thing to do is.
As Codenamesanzanka says:
Enji is still saying all the right things, but the story isn't giving him the opportunity to actually do the right things. To have his new actions matter. I have no doubt about his sincerity in his mantra, but without the 'show', it's hollow. Similarly, "Let's talk" is actually kinda bullshit too, because it's so vague. This is less about Enji, and more about the writing, how it set up this scene. "Let's talk" or "I want to talk" or any of that variation is repeated 6 times, without anything more or specific added.
There's an excess of repetition of Enji saying he wants to atone, he's ready to atone, without any of that materializing in the story.
As @class1akids says in this reaction post:
It also feels also super-hollow to say he's sheltering the family from the fallout, after they've just talked about how Fuyumi lost her job (and got a new one through the connections she herself built). How is he going to do that?
The fourth because I don't want to write it down, it's just Batman monologueing on how his partnership with Jason is still good and explaining the technical details of his fight with count Vertigo. It's in chapter 10 if you must look it up.
So four monologues total. Two monologues establish indirectly that Batman knows that Red Hood is Jason and doesn't want to face him. The third monologue establishes why he doesn't want to face him, he's afraid of being hated. The monologue is in line with Bruce's actions in the story, Bruce investigates several ways of reviving from the dead instead of looking for Jason.
The character's reactions around Bruce are also talking about how he's not acting like himself. Especially Alfred's who speaks of Bruce's indecision, on whether to put a stop to or save Jason.
"It is curious. He is lost in thought. It is not like him to spend vast stretches of time immobile, where his mind is gripped in the solitary process of deduction. This is quite different. He is hesitating. At a loss for what to do. I believe it is about Jason. And whether or not to stop him or save him."
This is illustrated in two scenes later where Jason spends a long time simply watching when Jason is fighting enemies, first in a fight against Captain Nazi, and second Black Mask. Jason even gives a direct callout of that behavior.
Jason: What the hell took you so long? Couldn't decide if you wanted to let me live. Batman: Shut up and fight.
Observed by Alfred Bruce is completely stalling and can't choose, observed by Jason Bruce can't decide whether to let Jason live or not. Bruce hesitates twice. We know why. We see it in action. It's called out as flawed behavior.
Now let's cover all the tell that don't show that is Endeavor's many monologues.
Pro Hero Arc:
I have to safeguard the future for them. That's the job for whoever's on top. What about the lives I cut short? Just demanding forgiveness isn't enough, it's too late for that. At this point I need to atone there's no other route.
Hellish Todoroki Family 1:
I'm trying to make ammends going forward. It might be too late. but I fall asleep every night thinking about it. Lately it's been the same dream. The wife and the kids looking happy at the dinner table. But I'm never there with them. It might be too late but I fall asleep every night thinking about what I can do for my family. I wish you could be here too, Toya. It's always the same dream. My whole family's there but not me. If I really care how they feel [I'll remain here].
I'm not going to read 200 chapters so I'm just going to ballpark it based on memory. Here we go.
Dabi's Dance:
My eldest, Toya didn't harbor frost within him. He didn't have a way to overcome the inescapable downside of overheating but I nevertheless sought to raise the boy as a hero. [...] Because Toya had more potential than me I placed my ambitions on his shoulders. I thought it could be you. You could have been the one to reach my eternal goal. My frustration... My envy... The ugliness in my heart... you could have been the one to smash it all to dust.
Plot twist this is the only monologue I like. It's different from all the others, and it's the only one where Enji is being emotionally honest. He put the emotional burden of his own emotional insecurities on an eight year old child, and expected to live vicariously through him and when Toya failed to live up to those expectations he just abandoned him. It alligns what we have been shown so far, Enji is not acting like a reptentant man here who realizes the harm he's done to Toya and only thinks of Toya as an extension of himself and his own regrets.
The Fight Against AFO:
My mistakes took the form as Toya leading to many stolen futures. The past never dies. Rage, resentment and even penace wound together toward the future. And the future is a path for the young. A path with so many branching choices. That's why I must win this. [I'll keep paying my penance. I'll win today and keep my eyes on Toya.]
When Enji decides to double Suicide with Toya:
I take full responsibility. I swore to bear the burden and live my life atoning for it all. However, you've been watching me all this time. While I couldn't be there to watch you. You were someone I especially needed to do right by. No I can't let you meet your end alone, but I won't let anyone else get caught up in our tragedy.
Hellish Todoroki Family Final:
I came to talk about what's to come. I'm retiring as a hero. That was my initial plan even before the war started, but now I can't even walk on my own. The hero endeavor burned to death. Your flames were really stronger than mine. [...] You're right. You know everything about me, Toya. After all you were always watching me. And you wanted me to do the same for you, but I didn't. Not matter what anyone says your heat does come from my hellflame. From now on I'll come everyday, so let's talk. It's too late now, so let's talk. [...] You're free to hate me. Anything is fine really, so throw it all at me.
This one is spoken dialogue but it's still a four-page long monologue. Every one of Enji's monologues with one exceptionsays the same thing: I'm sorry, I'll spend the rest of my life atoning for my actions.
We're repeatedly told Enji is atoning but he acts like Batman. Then, his actions should be framed as Batman, not atoning but avoiding any responsibility.
As observed by Class1akids when we were discussing the update:
Everyone else faces an uphill struggle with their lives, but we should all feel sorry for Enji atoning and being in hell. I hate Hori's compulsion to over-write his abusers and over-explain their atonement. He does this with Bakugou too but with Enji it's more irritating. It was so much more enjoyable when he just wrote the thing but didn't point at them and say -> look, they are atoning. Aren't they soooo cool??
Enji's internal monologues and the other characters frame him as some sort of martyr, while on the other hand it's clear by both Batman's actions and Alfred's observations he's not acting like his usual self. In fact, this is an interpretation of Under the Red Hood that I love from the writers of the video game Arkham Knight that does a less tragic retelling of Under the Red Hood:
Batman doesn't fight victims. He saves them.
Therefore if Batman is fighting Jason, a victim, he's not acting like Batman. I'm also fine with Arkham Knight being an Under the Red Hood retelling because it's a different story. Comics do this all the time, different universe versions, popular storylines adapted into different mediums. It also works as a commentary on the original story, by showing what Batman could have done to lead to a more positive outcome it makes Batman's choices in Under the Red Hood worse and more tragic because he could have saved Jason, there was still a chance.
So here we have two flawed tragic heroes who are meant to be both pitied and condemned for their actions. One of them is all pity with no condemnation. The other is both pity and condemnation, Batman is grieving, but also he's failing his responsibility towards Jason. Therefore one protagonist works, the other fails utterly.
I'm not saying abusers don't deserve redemption. I'm not saying Enji should have died in order to atone. I'm not saying that the underlying problem with the arc is that they decided to make Enji sympathetic and a focus of the arc. The most important problem is the breaking of one of the fundamental rules of storytelling: Show, Don't Tell.
The Tragic Villain
Not only does The Hellish Todoroki Family plotline fail to make Enji a compelling protagonist, it also fails it's biggest victim. Now, these are both stories that end with the hero failing to save their victim. So if both of these stories have the same ending, why am I saying it failed Dabi, but not Jason?
Well, let me explain.
Dabi and Jason are both villains turned victims. The stories themselves are about this ambiguity. How much should the be held responsible for their own choices? If they are actively harming innocent people, then shouldn't they be stopped? Should they be automatically be forgiven just because of the pain and grief they've suffered, even if they've been causing it to others?
Both characters are also reflective of their fathers because they are too being selfish in their grief, they want their grief acknowledged and so are violently lashing out.
Jason and Dabi both make plays at being vigilantes at first, Dabi wants to inherit Stains will, and Jason Todd wants to be a better bat-man by taking control of the drug trade in Gotham and cutting crime down by executing gang heads. However, neither of them are being honest with this and it's shown through their actions, both of them abandon their original plans.
In the final showdown all Toya cares about is facing Enji on the battlefield, and when he's on the brink of death his mind erodes to the point where all he can do is scream for Enji's attention while his flames get hotter and hotter.
Let's take about Jason first and how his narrative treats him a whole lot better and more sympathetically, with more humanity than Batman. Jason is still held responsible for his choices, he is criticized by Bruce for murdering gang leaders and passing it off as justice. He's also blatantly shown to be a hypocrite. My favorite scene from Red Hood: Lost Days, the official UTRH prequel.
"I want to kill the joker in a cool way. Just sniping the Joker from a rooftop isn't dramatic enough for me."
This scene, and the final scene of UTRH underlines Jason isn't executing criminals because he believes it's the right thing to do, or because of his stated motivation that killing the joker would prevent more future victims.
Instead his every action is to set up a scenario where he makes a selfish demand of Bruce. He wants Bruce to prove to him that he would choose him over being a hero, by setting up his final scenario. Him, the Joker, and Batman. Jason will shoot the Joker. Bruce has a gun. He can either choose to let Jason kill the Joker, or kill Jason to stop him, either way it makes it clear what Bruce's priorities are.
The underlying reason for this is similiar to Bruce. Just like Bruce, Jason is deeply afraid that Batman doesn't love him. That he thinks of him as a failure. (This is Toya's main reason too).
He also interprets Bruce's failure to avenge him to mean that Bruce didn't even care enough to mourn him. If Bruce loved him enough, he'd choose him over the joker, but he's so afraid that Bruce doesn't love him enough that he's going to force Bruce to choose.
Along the way he's also going to behead several crimelords in order to put an exclamation point on that point.
The way Jason completely unravels in the confrontation shows this insecurity, he begins with monologueing about how batman should totally kill people, until his fear that he wasn't important enough, and his grief at losing his father is revealed.
Batman: I know I failed you, but I tried to save you. I'm trying to save you now. Jason: Is that what what you think this is about? Your letting me die. I don't know what clouds your judgement worse, your guilt or your antiquated sense of morality. Bruce, I forgive you for not saving me. Jason: But why on god's green earth is he still alive? Ignoring what he's done in the past. Blindly, stupidly disregarding the whole graveyards he's filled with people. The friend's he's killed. I thought killing me - that I'd be the last person you ever let him hurt. Jason: If it had been you that he beat to a bloody mess. If it had been you he left in agony. If he had taken you from this world. I would have done nothing but search the planet for this pathetic pile of evil, this death worshipping garbage, and sent him off to hell.
Direct statement, it's irresponsible of Bruce to let Joker live after killing Jason and should have put him down to prevent future victims. Reading between the lines, Batman not taking revenge for Jason is a sign that he didn't love him enough, Jason loves Batman more because he would have taken revenge.
As the confrontation continues and Jason's mental spiral worsens, to the point where he can't keep up his pretense of self-righteousness.
Jason: I'm not talking about killing cobblepot, or scarecrow, or riddled, or dent. Jason: I'm talking about him. Just him. And doing it because...he took me away from you.
The father had lost the son, and now the son had lost the father.
Jason's revenge is just a cover, for his grief at losing Bruce. I think this also shows a really positive aspect of Jason's character to humanize him instead of condemning him for his actions to ignore or even justify the suffering he endured: Jason really loves Bruce.
I mean how meaningful is the statement: "Bruce, I forgive you for not saving me."
Bruce has been afraid to hear the whole time that Jason hates him, that he won't forgive him, but Jason loves him deeply. In fact his love is almost equal to his rage because Jason is a deeply emotional person, and these little details make him human and not just like a plot obstacle that Bruce has to face. A metaphor for his past failures.
Dabi is drawn as a crying boy who wants comfort, Jason is shown to be a crying boy who wants comfort through both dialogue and action without us directly needing to be told. It's a heartbreaking line and doing it because he took me away from you and it lands perfectly because the narrative wants us to just look at Jason's grief. It doesn't add an asterisk* even though he was in pain, he's done unforgivable things that can't be justified to undercut Jason's suffering.
In fact that might be another underlying problem with The Hellish Todoroki Family, the narrative tries too hard to make you feel a certain way instead of just presenting things as they are to make you come to your own conclusion. UTRH doesn't support Jason's revenge based serial killing of villains. It doesn't say he's justified to cut off the heads of mobsters. However, it doesn't excessively state "Well, I'm really sorry what happened to you but what you've done can't be forgiven" so we don't have to challenge ourselves to feel too much empathy for Jason's suffering.
Meanwhile even when Toya tries to express his rightful anger and grief, we're always met with someone shutting him down and saying well yeah, but you're wrong, involving innocent people is unforgivable.
As said by @stillness-in-green in the replies to this post:
I think so much harm (in-universe, but the state of the Twitter fandom makes me think the messages are pretty toxic irl, too) comes out of portraying the Heroes as needing to weigh in on the *morality* of the Villains' actions before they gauge "saving" them, when that is not a thing that glorified cops have any business thinking they have the right to do. Demanding repentance before the rehab is so bizarre.
You can say someone's actions are wrong without using it as a factor to consider whether or not their suffering as a human being should be acknowledged, and like I said there's multiple instances of people just yelling at Toya how immoral he is instead of addressing the elephant in the room.
You're wrong, you're wrong, you're wrong, you're wrong.
(Okay, I understand that some people have interpreted this as a show of Honnae and Tatamae, the Todoroki's who are a very repressed household are finally talking about their feelings even if those feelings are selfish and ugly).
(I'm not criticizing Shoto for saying that the people he killed were his own choice necessarily, Shoto is a character who's actions need to be read more deeply than his words he was dedicated to bringing Dabi down without him burning himself any further start to finished. My criticism lies in the fact that Hori uses Shoto as a mouth piece because he thinks we need to be reminded that murder is bad).
However, even acknowledging that time and place man, time and place. They couldn't have done that in the aftermath, when Toya isn't burning to death?
Hey buddy, you're being selfish.
Toya: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I'M MELTING, I'M MELTING.
This is I feel the underlying problem with the way the arc is written, not because the Todorokis are a very traditional Japanese family and there are cultural reasons they express their emotions differently, I'll give a caveat to that it's a nuance I might not understand.
However, I am arguing the actual problem is tell don't show. Horikoshi thinks that we as an audience need to be told multiple times that murder is bad, and we cannot be trusted to interpret that on our own.
Under the Red Hood shows both sides of Batman and Jason's debate, and let's us just come to the conclusion that Jason is in the wrong because revenge isn't justice. Horikoshi reaches no shit sherlock levels of telling us that we're not supposed to approve of Dabi's murders.
it's also a matter of giving Dabi narrative space to express his feelings, like every time Dabi tries to talk he is continually shut down (Shoto does engage Dabi talk to him and listen to why he didn't come back though I'll give him that) and it seems to be to push forward this weird idea that you shouldn't sympathize with the pain Dabi has endured or the ways he's dehumanized unless he does something to prove he deserves to be treated like a human being first.
Jason gets to monologue and make an entire argument, and his argument also shows the depths of his love for Bruce and what a deeply feeling person he is, and how those feelings being hurt and twisted could logically lead to his lashing out.
Compare this to Dabi who doesn't get a final monologue, but is instead reduced to a completely mindless state where he just cries out for his dad's attention. He doesn't get to make his argument.
Jason and Dabi both choose to blow themselves up, but Jason gets enough character agency to show this is a deliberate choice he's making even if it's the wrong one. He retains his character agency and ability to make decisions until the end of the narrative.
Jason's also you know physically crying. The end result of the narrative is about wrong choices that both Bruce and Jason make together, and then suffer the consequences together. Bruce watches the same failure play out again and he isn't able to save Jason, Jason doesn't get what he wants, he doesn't get revenge and he doesn't get to reunite with his father. It's tragic for both of them, and brought about by decisions both of them made.
Whereas yes Dabi makes a lot of bad decisions leading up to the last war arc, but in the end his final fate is up to a choice Enji made to not face Toya in the final battle.
However, while the final consequence of the battle is brought about more by Enji's decisions than Toya's, it's Toya who endures all the suffering and punishment. It's Toya who is in an iron coffin, and doomed to slowly and agonizingly die with all of his skin burnt off unable to move. Toya doesn't even get agency after the arc is over. Enji still has a wheelchair, Enji can still move around, Enji's still fucking rich, he's not in prison for his actions, he as Rei wheeling him around.
Toya's agency and choices are all taken from him, presumably to serve the plot purpose of making Enji save him to finish off his arc, and then ENJI DOESN'T EVEN SAVE HIM.
Also I think it's important to mention, Bruce's tragic ending is brought about by him attempting to save both, trying to save the joker and Jason with the same action. Whereas Enji's tragic ending is brought about by Enji NOT LIFTING A FUCKING FINGER TO HELP. Yet, it's Dabi who has the lion's share of suffering, and is sentenced to this horrific state of being skinless in an iron coffin and only being able to be awake a few minutes a day with no choice but to waste away.
Bruce is also immediately called out for his actions, by the Joker of all people, you handled this all wrong, it's your fault. Bruce is right to not kill the joker, killing the Joker would not have solved any of Jason's problems, but the fact that he put off facing Jason for so long, and his inability to communicate that he loves Jason is what leads to Jason thinking that the only way to prove Bruce loves him is to force him to choose. It's because Bruce has utterly failed to show him in any other way that he is loved.
Joker: Oh my god, I love it! You manage to find a way to win, and everyone still loses. I'm going to be the one who gets what he wants tonight, badda bing, badda boom."
I'd also like to add that a lot of agency in Enji's actions are taken away too, to make him look more blameless. It's not Enji's fault that he didn't say anything to Dabi during Dabi's dance, he passed out because he had a punctured lung. It's not Enji's fault that he spent a month protecting Deku instead of searching for Toya, he had to protect innocent people. It's not Enji's fault that he didn't go immediately to face Toya in the final war arc Hawks told him not to.
It's not Enji's fault that he made Shoto and Toya fight like Pokemon instead of cleaning up his own mess, and also he feels really sorry for it and as soon as he's done punching the bad guy he'll look after Toya he promises.
Enji does get called out for this behavior but it falls flat because it only comes from the villain AFO, and Toya himself. As I stated above too, the ending is more influenced by Enji's actions not Toya's (because Toya's agency is stripped away until he's mindless) but Toya is the one who has to die while Enji gets to live and atone.
That is the real sticking point for The Hellish Todoroki Family, the way it ends.
Themes Are For Eight Graders
The underlying problem with the whole arc and why The Hellish Todoroki Family fails as a tragedy, is because it wasn't written to be a tragedy.
The above quote is from an interview with the writers of the widely hated Game of Thrones Season 8, which took a sudden tragic turn for Dany's character, gave her an incredibly dehumanizing ending of being put down like a rabid dog by her own lover, an ending that was neither foreshadowed nor did it match with anything written before.
In this meta here by @hamliet it goes far more into depth that Game of Thrones isn't a tragedy, but a piece of Romantic fiction (not a love story, Romanticism is a genre of big emotions, the beauty of life, larger than life ideas hence why it fits well with fantasy genre, it can be sad but it doesn't follow tragic structure).
Dany is a romantic heroine, a deconstruction of the idea of the classic warrior princess trope, and you know a colonizer, but she's not meant to be written as an inherently bad person. There are people who say that Dany was going to die in the original books. I'm one of those people. Me. However, context and framing matters, Dany for all her colonizing ways does genuinely want to do the right thing, so it's likely she'd die a heroic death as a reflection of her selfless intentions (and intentions do matter for fictional characters) whereas in the show she's put down as a villain.
Now watch me I'm going to coin a term for future literary critics to use: Narrative Gaslighting.
Narrative gaslighting is different then Show Don't Tell, where an author has just failed to properly show what they're trying to tell you in the story. Narrative Gaslighting is when a narrative deliberately tries to mislead you, straight up lies to you, or just insists things that did not happen totally happened guys. Much like real gaslighting, Narrative Gaslighting makes you feel stupid for interpreting things a certain way and insists you were wrong all along.
Narrative gaslighting is when Tyrian gives a speech that everyone should have suspected Dany when she burned slavers alive that she was secretly evil and would one day turn on them.
Like, no.
Dany is flawed because she is a foreigner, interfering with the politics of a different country that she does not understand in order to gain enough resources and men to return to her home country and invade that country to exercise her right as a Targeryn to uphold the divine right of kings.
Game of Thrones doesn't mention any of that shit that's in alignment with the previous actions in the story, it's just insisting the very ableist notion that Dany was insane all along and her violence towards other people is the result of her mental illness.
(Also before anyone says, so if she's a colonizer than how can she have good intentions, everyone is Bad in Game of Thrones, they're all waging war to vie for a throne, monarchy is bad guys. IDK how to tell you that Game of Thrones has gray on gray on gray on gray morality).
(Also this aside ties into the hangup of MHA and most popular fandom culture on Twitter, that Dany's moral failings somehow disqualify her from her humanity. In spite of the fact that on top of all of that she's a rape victim, and like, Dany's only on that continent in the first place because she was sold as a bride.)
But here's the same weird subtext that Horikoshi's writing of Dabi. The fact that Dabi was continually victimized and denied human dignity does not need to be addressed, because he did the bad things and didn't atone properly enough for it first.
In essence this random post on the gunnerkrigg court forums I found on the same day the chapter came out, displaying apollo's gift of prophecy.
"When someone is persecuted, it's important to inform everyone about their flaws. That way you don't have to feel anything about all the times that they were denied human dignity."
So, Dany is not written as a tragic hero but a romantic one, we as an audience are both meant to acknowledge her flaws and sympathize with her, not demonize her in an ableist way for being insane, and even if Dany is meant to die the tragic way she dies does not match up with all of the narrative foreshadowing that was built before that.
Like, for instance a lot of POC after the show ended kept telling everyone that Dany's actions in a foreign country were seriously problematic, and not only did the audience not listen but the showwiters didn't acknowledge it with the same subtlety as the books. So those people especially were able to pick up Dany's character flaws, and when the show finally acknowledged them it's not even in the way that critiques of the show were pointing out Dany's flaws it was just "she was insane all along." Not like taking time to go "no matter what the intention, interfering with the politics of a foreign country is wrong."
The problem with the Todoroki arc is essentially the same, down to the ableism (because outsiders continually call Dabi either a maniac or insane Demon without even giving credence to his grievances about hero society he's just reduced to an insane fringe element of society, and Dabi himself is reduced to a completely mindless, childish, insane screaming state where he can't make active decisions).
The Todoroki Arc is not set up to us as a tragic one. The ending is pretty clearly telegraphed to the whole audience. People are not wrong for thinking that Toya's ending would be either rehabilitation like Rei with the eventual hope of being welcomed home, or some kind of house arrest where he still gets to be with his family.
Everyone happy at the Dinner table and Enji not sitting with them.
"I wish you could be here, Toya."
"We all have to go stop, Toya."
"In that case, I'll make him sit down for a bowl with me."
Even Shoto's efforts to take down Toya non-lethally are rendered completely pointless, because Toya gets back up again and then burns himself alive (completely by his own choice so no one has to feel bad that they failed).
The story sets up the expectation that Toya is going to be brought home and sit down for a meal with his family. Then it makes you feel stupid for going in an entirely different direction. It was always going to end this way didn't you know The Todorokis are a tragedy?
Well, I just spent a very long section of this thesis statement illustrating that if it's supposed to be a tragedy, then it's still not written well.
It's a written as a romantic story of a family healing, and the villain getting saved, only for the villain not to be saved and the story to just keep on going like not getting saved isn't a huge failure. This is something that should permanently destroy the main characters, that they got the chance to repeat Sekoto peak and be there this time and they all utterly failed. I feel bad for Shoto most of all because he did everything right, and he still loses his brother, but does the story show that?
The problem is the story is blatantly lying to you about the fact that Toya was somehow saved, even though he LITERALLY LOOKS LIKE HELLRAISER. To quote Codenamesanzanka again:
But I feel the story couldn't give us that because it will remind the reader and everyone just how much Touya will be missing. In-story, talking any more will overburden Touya's heart - and how apt is that metaphor? So let's talk about how we'll talk, but that's all that's allowed here for this scene. Else we'll see how unfair it is that Touya has to be confined to this room, he isn't with his family and they have to come to this prison just to tell him about their day, and soon he will be gone. Details make it real, and it would've exposed the lie that Touya was saved in an actual way. The story knows it too - "this extra time Shouto gave us." This is all 'extra', and not the core. [...] If the story was sincere that this is a case of "it's simply too late" - as it should be!!! imo, to really drive in the clear point that they failed, they did not get the save they wanted, because that's the truth - the tone of the chapter isn't tragic enough for that. The tone is going for 'Making Peace With This'. We've skipped the stages of grief and all we have is acceptance. The characters have accepted this, and so must the readers as well.
Therefore it's narrative gaslighting, the story is making us doubt our perceptions and trying instead to manipulate us to feel a certain way. We don't have to question the unfairness of Toya's fate, because look at all the people he's hurt, and look how Enji is atoning and taking responsibility.
The story builds up the idea that Enji will choose Toya. That he will choose being a father over being a hero. Enji doesn't do that, and it's Toya who suffers the horrific, painful consequences while Enji gets off mostly scott free. Mind you it's also ableist to suggest that being in a wheelchair is some sort of life-ending consequence like he's fine. The story even goes out of its way to say how avoidable this ending could have been if Enji or Rei or someone lifted a single finger to give Toya the acknowledgement he wanted, and then gives it a "Too little, Too Late" conclusion but doesn't acknowledge that this is where it's ending and instead tells us that Enji has successfully atoned.
"Everyone's watching me. So this is what it's like. If it was such a simple thing, then why not sooner?"
If it was going to turn out this way Toya should have just died here, not because death would somehow be a mercy compared to life in prison, but because the Todoroki Family doesn't deserve to get to pat themselves on the back. If they let Sekoto Peak happen a second time, then they should have to deal with the consequences of that.
It would be consistent is my point. This is written as a "Too Little, Too Late" kind of ending, but we don't get the emotional response from the Todorokis that they've let Toya die a second time.
On the other hand, UTRH has the exact same tragic ending but it doesn't make me angry because it's honest about it. The Todorokis let Sekoto peak happen a second time. Batman let Death in the Family happen a second time, but look at how even the narration and comic panels of the story acknowledge it.
"Fate is a funny thing. It swells up like a raging current and we are forced to travel. It provides us no exit. No deviation. It drops us in a bottomless ocean and compels us. We either swim, or drown, and sometimes as we struggle against the tide, a great truth arises."
One ends with Enji meaninglessly stating that he'll spend the rest of his life atoning for Toya and watching over him (which I guess will be like two months tops) for the fifth time. The other ends with Batman being lectured by the Joker of all people of how he chose wrong and being forced to watch once again as a warehouse blows up, and he's completely helpless to save Jason.
UTRH ends with the message that Batman sucks, Enji's atonement arc ends with Natsuo calling him cool for atoning and UTRH makes me like Batman way more as a character. Whereas at this point I feel nothing from the Todoroki Family, except for a disgust for the way that Toya not only has to die, but has to die a slow, gruesome death while the rest of his family walks away with the small comfort of "oh at least we'll get to say what we need to say before Toya passes."
Especially with the fact that Toya's greatest fear was that when he died, he died meaninglessly because his family never grieved him and all moved on with their life. I guess we don't have to analyze how gross the underlying message that criminals don't deserve to be sympathized with because themes are for eighth graders.
EPILOGUE
The post is finished but apparently everyone expects me to cover every single possible angle even in posts this long.
You didn't address the cultural aspect. Under the Red Hood is a western story, and Todoroki Family is based on eastern concepts.
The post isn't about that. The post is long enough I can't cover every single topic. Here's someone who covered that topic thoroughly. This one discusses more about the nuances of collectivism.
Also, since the Todoroki Family obviously copied Under the Red Hood's homework, it warrants a comparison. Especially since it seems to critically misunderstand what made the original work.
Which is a valid form of Literary Criticism, as Ursula K Le Guinn once said:
It doesn’t occur to the novice that a genre is a genre because it has a field and focus of its own; its appropriate and particular tools, rules, and techniques for handling the material; its traditions; and its experienced, appreciative readers—that it is, in fact, a literature. Ignoring all this, our novice is just about to reinvent the wheel, the space ship, the space alien, and the mad scientist, with cries of innocent wonder. The cries will not be echoed by the readers. Readers familiar with that genre have met the space ship, the alien, and the mad scientist before. They know more about them than the writer does.
The Todorkis aren't all to blame for Toya. Natsu, Fuyumi and Shoto are innocent:
You're right. It's just easier to refer them as the Todorokis then specifying "Enji and Rei" each time.
You didn't mention Shoto once in this post:
I have no cricism for Shoto's role in all this. In fact I think he's the best written part. I praise it here.
Shoto is a good boy, and he deserved to spend more time with his brother. The fact he won't be able to sit down and have dinner of him, is the greatest tragedy of them all.
#mha meta#mha spoilers#mha 426#mha 426 spoilers#shoto todoroki#dabi#toya todoroki#enji todoroki#under the red hood#jason todd#bruce wayne#batman#mha critical#todoroki family
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Jealous Mizu Headcanons
Disclaimer: A tad bit of NSFW is included in this so be warned
A/N: again, i apologize for not getting anything super extensive out. I thank you all for being so patient and so sweet!!
————————————————————
Mizu’s not the type to be outwardly jealous.
She’ll get jealous but she won't say much about it, she’ll just let it fester inside her quietly until it gets to be too much and she needs an outlet.
More often than not that outlet is fighting (more on that later)
She would never think to label you as “hers”, you’re not an object that she can possess.
However, when it comes to other people being around you, she finds it very tempting to start.
Before either of you confessed, you had already made up a plan to act like you were a couple to avoid unwanted stares from men and women alike.
Turns out Mizu enjoyed that much more than she thought she would.
God help the person that decides to flirt with you while she's around
If that person happened to be Taigen? Forget the duel that man's dying TONIGHT
Mizu of course would recognize that you’re your own person and you can choose to be with whoever you want… but the thought of you choosing TAIGEN of all people is not a thought that would allow her to sleep well at night.
She would claim its for no other reason than she thinks you deserve better than a man who abandoned his engagement for honor
She wouldn’t be wrong but you wouldn’t have even been interested in Taigen in the first place so her coming up with all these reasons why you shouldn’t choose him would just be outing herself.
She refuses to come to terms with the fact that she feels jealous about anything
She would be deep in denial for as long as she could manage until someone finally calls her out on it.
Her jealousy causes her to become a tad bit possessive
She’s not the most secure person in the world when it comes to relationships no matter how hard she pretends to be
She would go above and beyond to try and make sure no one was going to try and lure you away from her.
NSFW Headcanons
(Pretty vague in favor of remaining gender neutral)
Remember how I said “More often than not that outlet is fighting”
Well the alternative to that involves you
It would be less about being possessive over you and instead it would be her way of proving to you she can give you more pleasure than anyone else
And she would without a doubt prove that successfully
She might not be incredibly experienced but you wouldn't have been able to tell that by the way she treated you
Despite her feelings she would actually be extremely gentle with you
It’s not your fault she's mad that other people also find you attractive, so she’d have no reason to be angry with you.
Which means praise. Lots and lots of praise
Constantly reminding you how pretty/handsome you look while beneath her
What, you thought she wasn’t going to pin you down? That’s like her signature move at this point, she’s GOING to be on top.
She would take an opportunity handed to her to tease you and usually that meant one of two things
She teased you with compliments
Or she teased you by stopping what she’s doing all together and having you beg for her to continue
Just cause she’s not mad at you doesn’t mean she can’t mess with you a little
Considering before this point she wouldn’t have been so open about her feelings you would’ve been taken by surprise
She would find it incredibly entertaining if you got embarrassed by all the sudden attention she started giving you
As rough as she deals with things in her everyday life I think she’d be a service dom honestly, in this specific instance at least.
She wants you and she wants you to know that.
She wants to sear it into your brain so any time you even so much as look at someone else all you’d get is a flashback to how good you felt with her.
She would not let you do anything for her, she wants to focus on you and only you
She would just enjoy knowing she was making you feel good and that’s all she’d need
If you tried keeping quiet, she would persuade you into letting go, she wants other people to know that she was the one making you feel good
Needless to say if Taigen had attempted to flirt with you before, he definitely knew not to now.
#x reader#mizu blue eye samurai#fanfiction#unoislazy#mizu x reader#mizu come home the kids miss you#bes mizu#blue eye samurai fanfic#blue eye samurai x reader#x gn reader#mizufics#mizubrainrot#mizu x you#mizu bes#x gender neutral reader#x readers#blue eye samurai x you#mizu fanfic#taigen#headcanons#headcanon#nsft headcanon
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genuine qn!! can you tell us more about mxtx and her preoccupations thematically and including character types and and relationship dynamics, so interesting
oh man so we'll see how long it takes me to answer this ask because I could probably write a whole goddamn essay for this. with footnotes and everything. am I tempted, yes, but the last time I did that it took me like a year and a half and I'm pretty sure nobody cared
anyway, yeah! mxtx is definitely a writer where I feel like I can see the throughlines in a lot of her work pretty clearly. some of these are probably generic and I'm only somewhat equipped to recognize those (being yet a novice in the world of danmei specifically and cnovels more generally), so I can't be certain all of this is mxtx and not just the generic milieu she's working within. but I tried to parse it out based on what I've noticed.
I focused on thematics because that's what I personally find most interesting (and easiest to elaborate on, since some of the relationship dynamics are less specific to MXTX than they are romance conventions, a genre I am less familiar with).
this is necessarily an incomplete list because I haven't reread in a hot minute and also I am, again, not writing a complete essay for this (right now)
Justice/injustice. This one recurs across all three novels, both in terms of the desire for justice and the ways in which injustice is woven into the fabric of society and sometimes, it seems, almost inevitable. There's something deeply pessimistic, for instance, about the way that MDZS deals with this question, or at least a certain ambivalence, but in general I would say it's a theme of MXTX's work that people don't get what they "deserve", and what is or would be just is at best a difficult and often an unanswerable question.
Cycles of revenge/violence. Relatedly: MXTX seems to me very concerned with cycles of revenge and violence and what comes of them - namely, nothing. In SVSSS you see it with Shen Jiu and PIDW!Luo Binghe in particular, and how Shen Yuan's cutting of that violent cycle transforms not just Luo Binghe but the fate of the world as a whole. In MDZS you see it most clearly with the Nie Mingjue/Jin Guangyao/Nie Huaisang situation, which ultimately ends with nobody winning, but also in Jin Ling's explicit rejection of revenge at the end of the novel. In TGCF you can see it in Black Water Arc, where - again - nobody wins, but you can also see it with Xie Lian and Jun Wu. This further relates to:
Disinterest in/distrust of punitive impulses. This is the one I wrote a whole essay about! But in general I think that MXTX is...skeptical...of the impulse to punishment/retaliation, because of the stance she seems to take that violence only ever begets violence and never makes anything better. Again this threads back to the aforementioned "nobody gets what they deserve" thing - because if nobody gets what they deserve, who decides what anyone deserves?
Ambivalence about the "fixability" of society at large. This also kind of goes back to the first point on this list, and specifically I think is illustrated through the fact that two of three of her main pairings retreat from the world at large at the end of their stories. They aren't completely removed from society, but they are distanced from it - in both cases, I would argue, out of some disillusionment with its functioning and/or their place within it. There is a certain feeling in MXTX's work that society is, if not irreparably broken, fundamentally unjust in a way that is difficult to change. (I think TGCF is an interesting outlier in this way, actually.)
Class/status dynamics. I'm not saying that MXTX is, like, writing about class or status, but I am saying that she seems to be interested in the role that it plays in shaping/defining a character, given how often it turns up as a factor - in Shen Jiu, in Luo Binghe, in Jin Guangyao, in Wei Wuxian, in Mu Qing, in Hua Cheng, even in Xie Lian's crash from the heights of wealth to the depths of poverty.
The fickleness of the crowd. This also has to do with the importance of rumor and reputation, but what it often seems to come down to in terms of impact is how quickly people at large change their minds and bend to the beliefs of the people around them; how much attitude toward a person is informed by, and defined by, public opinion - regardless of that opinion's basis in truth. Often, explicitly, in spite of the opinion's basis in lies.
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What are your thoughts on Persona 5 Royal (if you’ve played it)? You’ve referenced Persona 5 casually in a lot of videos, and you did a So This is Basically on it a while back, so you’ve definitely played P5 Vanilla. I hold great affection for P5R (despite its Problems), so I’m curious to hear if your thoughts on it differ from Vanilla. Also, I’d love to hear your thoughts as a professional voice actor on the voice acting in the game. Thanks!
Unfortunately I have played through Persona 5 Royal three times and 100%'d it because I am a freak of nature.
I have. Some thoughts on it.
And I spent multiple days typing them up in a batshit-huge chart which you can read on my Patreon.
I actually think the Persona 5 cast does quite a good job voicing the game in the English version. Max Mittleman especially deserves props for making Ryuji as likeable as he is.
I do not... think the script is very good.
Like, it's Persona storytelling so it's not going to win any prizes, but on top of that the translation is rough. It does that thing I can't stand in lazy localization where they take a specific term in Japanese and ctrl+f replace it with an English one across the whole game without making it fit the context, so it doesn't make sense anymore.
In P5 it's "rotten adults" and "our justice". Take a drink every time they use the word "justice" as a possessive noun even though that's not a thing English speakers do. You don't say "our justice" or "that's my justice". You say "sense of justice", "righteousness", "morals", or "my philosophy". A good translator would be looking at each instance of a term and replacing it with something that works in each individual sentence (i.e. "we have to prove our justice" -> "let's show them what justice really looks like", "I don't agree with the Phantom Thieves' justice" -> "We can't just assume what they're doing is right", etc). But that's harder and that takes work, so lazy translators don't bother.
Also it must be said that all the cast intonates the Japanese surnames incorrectly and it's very weird. They always hit the second syllable. I have no idea why they are directed to do this. They do it in P4 too.
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Reader and hizashis friendship is so solid, and it's sweet how much he cares for her well being
Her being so close to his best friend and nothim, and being an essentially observer to the everything with touya, aizawa likely knows so much of readers relationship with touya probably without her knowing.
Of course he probably won't know specifics, hizashi wouldn't share everything, but you know he's sharing a lot of his frustrations of the situations he sees with reader and touya with aizawa.
Like, hizashi could see reader and that she deserves better, and voice his frustrations with aizawa 1. To just vent but also maybe just maybe 2. Plant seeds of hope in him to try and talk to her more
Like hizashi venting that reader wanted to do [thing] but touya didn't [want to/took her card/ didn't get car repair like she asked/ something], and aizawa is thinking what a fucking child touya is, that he/aizawa would've done [thing+more] if he was being asked. So he has to shut down that thought track because he's not the one in the relationship, and he's not the one Reader vented to or accepted help from.
Because in the end (before our story at least)
He's just an acquaintance to Reader.
friend of friend.
work colleague.
Nothing more.
Sorry I feel like I'm rambling in this and it may not make sense- I just have many thoughts of everyone in the story sorry
I honestly think its less "i can do better, i could treat her better" and more "she deserves better, she deserves safety" because it doesn't really matter if she gets it with him or not.
aizawa's crush is very much secondary to everything (mostly because he refuses to actually acknowledge it and it's a bit of a pipe dream in his eyes)
aizawa is an equally traumatized character in this instance. he has his own issues with relationships and hurt. I don't know if he really sees himself as a savior at all.
maybe. just maybe. he likes that reader is just as fucked up as him. gives him an excuse if she leaves yk
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I can completely break down the notion that jews do not experience ethnic discrimination within western countries, specifically the USA.
for context I am genetically half jewish and half italian, and since I was born i have been more connected to judaism in a cultural and a religious sense. though its not a huge part of my life like judaism is it's definitely still important.
a lot of people like to argue that jews were once not seen as white and now we are, just like Italians, Greeks, Irish, etc were (at least in the USA) and I can confirm that's total bullshit. I have, not once in my life, been treated badly for being Italian. I have never had someone shame me for my appearance, make fun of my cultural food, threaten me, insult me, insult my father, say they wish I died, harassed me, or any other violent or demeaning acts because im Italian. not once in my entire life has that happened. even living in the rural USA where traditional white supremacy is alive and well that did not happen.
yet I have absolutely been harassed, verbally abused, demeaned, belittled, etc. for being jewish. Ive experienced antisemitism since I was 5 and possibly younger. ive heard holocaust jokes, nose/eye jokes, had swastikas drawn on my things, received death threats, gotten rape threats, been called a murderer, been told I should burn, was told I was poisoning the seas, had people deny my very real trauma, was told that I should've stayed dead (for context I overdosed and had to be resuscitated once), and many more things all because im jewish. these are just instances in which it was specifically mentioned or heavily heavily implied that its because im jewish.
Many of these things happened when theae people didn't even know I'm a practicing jew and some even when I stopped practicing for a couple years. a lot of the time the only reason they had to believe I was jewish was my appearance and yeah sure they were right but what it shows is that appearance alone is enough for people to be antisemitic. you know, if jews weren't ethnically discriminated then why do people target us for having things like large noses and curly hair? or for the foods that we eat? or for anything that isnt directly related to religious practices?
anyway I dont believe for a second that anyone who thinks jews dont experience ethnic discrimination in the USA has ever had a genuine conversation with a jew about antisemitism. 5 year old me did not deserve to feel like he was ugly all for some assholes to say that jews are making all this up.
☆this is part 2 in which I will add important context bc if anyone is gonna overanalyze my argument its me. u can read it if you want its not necessary to understand the post.
like I said I have spent most of my life in rural areas where there are many less jews than in big cities and obvious white supremacy is common. im 100% sure this affected a lot of the antisemitism i received.
I am sephardic, not ashkenazi. most goyim do not have a clue what this means. those who do generally think it means "jewish but spicier and more exotic (aka less american)" which could have contributed to some of the discrimination i faced for not being seen as American enough.
this is my experience not anyone else's! I am not discrediting what other people have gone though regarding any experiences with discrimination
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Chapter 17 foreshadowing/why I think Fushiguro Megumi might be in love with Itadori Yuuji
I've never understood the reason why Gege will add that line of Todo (i mean the special mention of the "it can be a guy")

The idea could've been perfectly understood even if the line wasn't added, but Gege purposefully sat on their desk and decided to draw this panel and add that specific line.
This means opening the possibility of Megumi liking guys, right?
I might be overthinking this, but text and dialogs are super important in mangas. Practically everything that it's said has (or should have) a purpose .
Dialogue scenes move the story forward, for instance, by giving important information about the characters, their relationships, the milieu, and the evolving events; they can also build suspense and reorientate the narrative.
So why then adding this?

We've seen several times that Fushiguro often thought of Itadori as a kind person—even since the beginning.

(It's literally Itadori being described)
If we go back some chapters, we can easily notice this is how Itadori is first introduced in the Manga: as a compassionate person, a good person with the intent of helping others.
In fact, Compassion its a highlighted feature Itadori has always showed through the entire series.

Even at Sukuna's final moment, he shows himself compassionate offering help to him.
Many had thought Itadori fits that description of Megumi, and now I'll explain why I think this is a possibility.


We know the relationship between them its centric in the story —it practically started because Megumi decided he wanted to save Yuuji.

We've see them caring for each other over and over again, many decisions they take are influenced by the thought of benefiting/trying to help the other.
And then we got Itadori really trying hard for an entire arc to save Fushiguro, and when the opportunity comes, he tells him it's okay if he doesn't want to live anymore, but at the same time addmiting he will miss him if he goes.
This scales to the point its practically the love they hold for each other that helps to completely defeat Sukuna


I would also like to add this panel and why I think Fushiguro was projecting himself with the desire of his sister being with someone like Itadori.

The line is Fushiguro stating he wanted his sister —a person we know he LOVES and thinks very highly of— to be with someone as good as Itadori.
He thinks very highly of the two of them.
Theyre both good persons so they deserve each other?
Therefore, he projects himself that way:
He might think it's Tsumiki who deserves to be with Yuuji because she was good, and Yuuji is good too, so logically they deserve each other, right?
He loves Yuuji, but he might not be worth his love because it was him who introduced Yuuji into the jujutsu world (a painful life full of lost and worries).
But maybe someone else might be worth, maybe his sister.
This is how he imagine a perfect peaceful life, he's trasmitng and projecting his desires.
It's not her who wants to be with Yuuji. It's you.
So gathering all the pieces together gives us the big picture, and Megumi's words might feel more like a foreshadowing of their relationship rather than simple words for introducing Todo in the Manga (tho it works in both ways). The response Megumi gives open the possibility for such feelings between the two of them.
So basically, everything we saw to this point that involves the two of them has been development and profundization in their relationship for this last punchline we got of Megumi realizing that he wants to keep trying because its worth living out of love

After all, love IS a centric theme in the story. It's mentioned several times along the series. Gojo describes it as the worst curse, Itadori thinks Sukuna acts that way because of the lack of it. And if we add this new layer, Megumi thinks its woth living out of it.
Ultimately, what's going on between them is inherently love— aside if it's or not romantic
I can't fully explain my ideas cause i can't put them in orden, sorry :/
This is just my opinion btw 🤷♀️ also there's only 3 chapters left so I might end up as a big fucking clown 🤡 literally anything could happen but we'll see
Anyway, tell me your thoughts on this 👇
#jujustu kaisen#itadori yuuji#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#itadori x fushiguro#jjk spoilers#jjk manga#or is just me overthinking#jjk#as long as Yuji doesn't end up with a 0 chemistry out of nowhere wife and two kids#cause what he has with Megumi is just beautiful#and if they dont end up together it'd be a completely waste#sir they're in love
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Full Snow Moon in Leo ♦︎ Moon Magick Pick A Card
Full Snow Moon was in Leo on 12 February🦁This is one of the last FMs before March’s Spring Equinox, our true aenergetic new year. With this Sun/Leo/5H aenergy and the Snow Moon’s theme revolving around ‘introspection’, as part of your New Year’s Resolution or something, if you must make a clear intent, intend the year to be one of Abundance and Prosperity specifically through FUN AND PLAY!!🤩💫🎉
That’s just how it is with Leo/5H aenergy, babe. Fun in the Sun~🌞🐈All things considered, wouldn’t you agree that Humanity deserves a LYFE of FUN AND PLAY whilst remaining considerate and thoughtful? Fuck 'psychopathy-based capitalism' and bring in the era of Solarpunk!🌤Abundance for all, sensibly and in harmony with the Planet, something like that? Yeah, that should be possible provided enough of us DEMAND that Reality🥰🌬🌊
Anyway, this Leo FM, whichever House the Moon falls in your natal chart, just know that she’s inviting you to reconnect with your Inner Child🪺The pure-hearted child who—probably—saw itself with much higher Integrity before the hustle of adolescence robbed it of its Innocence🌼
So many of us—and this isn’t just a Gen MZ thing either—have unknowingly sustained so much discipline trauma caused by sociopathic authority figures who abused their power to subjugate us—whether through the ‘family system’ or education system; religious system or economic system; and whatever other kinds of System existing in Society🚂
‘They never pay the slaves enough so they can get free, just enough so they can stay alive and come back to work.’ – Charles Bukowski
One way or another, every one of us was forced to devote ourselves to things and tasks that essentially didn’t matter in the grand scheme of our Highest Intended Destiny. It’s caused so much fear and chaos bubbling deep in the psyche🫕This Full Snow Moon in Leo, use this aenergy to further release those chains and shackles of trauma and fear—and even a sense of unworthiness—so that by Spring Equinox, you’re ready as heck to embrace or embark(!) on a new chapter of Life of Liberty~🎮🗽🎇
It all starts in the mind, baby. What's your agreement? In this new paradigm, if you ain’t gon be walkin' at your own pace and makin' your own rules—sensibly and responsibly (Leo themes)—what even is the point of having survived your Life thus far~?🏍
in the feels: Child by NCT MARK
docu: The Enslavement of the Middle Class on Jake Tran
deck-bottom: Ace of Swords Rx, Red Geographer (Marco Polo) & Priestess of Integrity
[Moon PAC Masterlist] [Patreon] [Paid Readings] [buymeaboba]
☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.
Pile 1 – Illuminate the World with Your Passion

c h i l d – Ace of Pentacles
Do you remember the small activities you enjoyed as a kid?🎲The grownups might’ve called them your ‘hobbies’, but to you they simply felt like things and endeavours that were ‘natural’ for you to engage in. Natural inclinations would fit the bill better. Some of these activities held a puzzle piece of what you’re meant to do well into adulthood🧩
The child in you was inherently attracted to them because subconsciously you were training yourself in the Art of just that very engagement⛳️For instance, say that you were unusually ‘passionate’ about jigsaw puzzle as a kid, this in itself could be your ‘hint’ at how when you’d become a grownup, that mind that loves to solve problems and figure out the bigger picture would be utilised to solve puzzles and mysteries that exist in the world🎯
So just like that, even an unusual pull towards playing jigsaw puzzles could hold a glimmering inkling that you’re meant to be a detective or a criminologist or a psychologist, or whatever resonates, really🏸OK, so this is just one example of a scenario—bottom line is: remember some activities that you used to be so unusually drawn to doing and get refamiliarized with them NOW~🌞
p l a y – 7 of Wands Rx
Why? Because the ignited passion—or reignited if you’d forgotten them for a while—could open up a path of understanding deep within your psyche, what would lead you to figuring out what you’re meant to do in this next chapter of your Life~!🔥Leo is the ruler of the 5H, there lies our hobbies and innate, even special, interests what would LINK us with others of similar views and values☃️❄️⛄️
Those other people with similar tastes and possibly even goals, can be understood by your 11H—House of Aquarius; House of our Communities. Here with the 7 of Wands in reverse, you’re being invited to redefine what ‘networking’ means for you on a deeply spiritual fashion. Who are your people, babe? Actually, what kind of person do you even want to be perceived as?🍂
You VIBE attracts your TRIBE, remember? And most importantly, with all of these natural inclinations that you are surely very apt at, what do you want to do with them and who do you want to inspire?🌻What typa collective can you uplift with your warm sunshine? Hmm, people who live passionately are indeed warm🥰
i n n o c e n c e – 2 of Cups
As you maintain your vibrations high and feel safe in your daily activities that are, hopefully, aligned with your 5H inclinations, you’ll be met with miraculous situations where the Universe puts people and events in your path what would only enhance your experience in those 5H pursuits that you resonate with🥁
In essence, with this Full Snow Moon in Leo, I’m seeing that you’ll feel much less burdened by the duties of Life that in the grand scheme of everything don’t feel that big for your Soul🪕You get that? I don’t see you becoming irresponsible, not at all; I’m only seeing you more able to prioritise what’s truly, truly essential to do at a given time🎲
And so, with that renewed mindset, or attitude, so to speak, you become less and less hard on yourself and even less do you give a fuck about what others think about the stage/phase of your Life’s development right now💖It’s very liberating, but even more importantly, you’ll see just how fast you manifest everything that’s essential to you right now by just being… lighthearted and easy-going💝
full moon self-care🔻🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘
Red Astrologer (William Lilly) & Priestess of Illumination
Access bonus, cards + affs on Patreon🌸
☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.
Pile 2 – Sparkles of Courage in a Terrified World

c h i l d – Knight of Cups Rx
Wow, the appearance of the Knight of Cups in reverse here is very unique for you, Pile 2. Rather than this being you, I feel more strongly that this card is depicting your understanding of how the people around you, or the world in general, tend to be such timid creatures🐇It’s like, from quite a young age you were already deeply aware, if not disturbed, by the fact that most people were never brave enough to follow their own passions. They’re afraid of listening to their own hearts; and it has always been such a bummer for you to realise that all by yourself🐋
Generally speaking, it’s because you’re one of those very brave individuals who’d always put yourself first before anybody else’s opinions or demands. It’s because you’re quite ‘spiritual’ in the sense that you truly believe in what or where your Heart tells you to go~🐾
Funny thing is, there is simply so much medicine in this courage, reserved for only those who are also finding ways to listen more to their Hearts. But for others who’ve devoted themselves to being sheeples? You appear kinda reckless and they’re gonna have a field trip gossiping about you when you make just one tiny mistake… but so what?🌚
p l a y – Knight of Wands
All the geniuses in the world take pleasure in self-experimentation. When it comes to experiments, my gosh, errors mistakes and failures are bound to happen. It’s normal for you but not for stupid, unimaginative, unoriginal, non-innovative bitches. So you don’t have to listen to their dismissal. Keep being you and keep shining your Light—more like, keep warming the world with the Fire in your Heart. We all know the world right now could do with more of that❤️🔥
I dunno why your aenergy keeps making me think of Jennie Kim hahah But anyway, this FM in Leo wants to remind you that a person such as yourself, simply with the amount of passion that you possess, can be a significant healing presence in the lives of others. If you just focus on this aspect of yourself, you’ll soar higher faster because you’re making that conscious choice of thinking very highly of yourself🎀
It’s surely not narcissism; it’s self-love, self-respect, coz you’re obviously not stupid enough to not be able to see your effects on people🪬This year, embrace this of yourself more and more and before long… wow, I don’t even know what’s in store for you this year, but something BIG is literally just around the corner and you're attracting it fast by your positive outlook!⏳
i n n o c e n c e – 9 of Wands Rx
No more being hard on yourself just for people-pleasing this year! ‘I ain’t making myself smaller so it’s easy for you to digest me anymore. Y’all can choke,’ is your MANTRA this year—more than any other years you’ve lived thus far lmao The essence of your innocence this year is that you’re carrying yourself back to calm waters. No more wars—not the ones INSIDE of your head. You got that?🌊
If you’re gonna go to war this time around, it’s a war with the sick world where you’re EJECTING yourself from either the rat race or the brainwash of smallness. You were born big, meant to be big, and even bigger still you’re gonna prove yourself to be. You have all the power in you to inspire the world around you. But first, reconnect with the joy of being alive💐
I think it’s joie de vivre in French? ‘Exuberant enjoyment of Life’. That sounds like something you’d find in any Ghibli movie hahah Enjoy something creative. Eat what you want when you want and sleep as much or as little as it is sensible to you. You’re learning to live again, but more importantly, you’re learning to really show up AS YOURSELF, unapologetically🍍
full moon self-care🔻🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘
Green Historian (Herodotus) & Priestess of Inspiration
Access bonus, cards + affs on Patreon🌸
☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.
Pile 3 – Lighten Up, You’re Only One You

c h i l d – King of Swords Rx
Do you often feel like you’re responsible for other people’s wellbeing? You could’ve felt this way since you were a kid, yeah? For some, it could’ve been that you grew up in a toxic environment where you were constantly put on the spotlight or you were made to feel like you were always the one with everything to prove. Either way, this caused you to develop a rather frantic way of dealing with duties and a sense of responsibility🤨
It could’ve felt like the burden of the whole world was on your shoulders. If you don’t take charge of a situation well enough, you fear that someone’s responses or reactions could be calamitous. In a sense, you couldn’t help but develop a ‘hero complex’ or ‘saviour complex’ in which most of the time you were just trying to save yourself from other people’s wrath😖
Babe, I’m just saying, this ain’t healthy. But of course you know that. And if you’re reading this and this is your main pile, I’d like to validate your experiences and confirm to you that you’re well on your way out of this sad programming. Baby, baby, the world is healing and so are you~💋🧠⛑
p l a y – 3 of Pentacles Rx
We’ve entered a new paradigm, right? In this new wave of consciousness, we’re no longer tolerating situations and environments where we are made to feel inadequate or hard to love. I see that you’re further separating yourself from that old wave of consciousness. If you’ve actually made the decision to ‘leave that old world’ a long time ago, I see that recently you could’ve just been dealing with some remnants of a heartbreak🪡
All things considered, your Spirit Guides are convincing you that you’re already in safe waters. But more importantly than that, the ‘waters’ in your brains—the chemicals—are returning to balance! Are you feeling this or not, babe?🤩
In a strange way of saying it, I see that you’re gradually taking back your sanity. There’s this feeling like, ‘Where have I been the last xx months/years?’ Or you could simply feel like the peace and calm and the certainty that you’re feeling now is exactly the natural state of being you 'should’ve been able' to access from a long time ago. It’s that kind of a feeling~😑
i n n o c e n c e – 4 of Wands Rx
But of course, it isn’t to say that your hardships up until now didn’t serve a purpose, right? I know all of us are sick of being told this kind of thing lmao But it’s so true for reasons that may be too convoluted. But since the Priestess of Protection is accompanying you here, I’d like to say that your hardships were not at all ‘part of your karma’ in the sense of you having done something bad in a different lifetime😷
If this has been your main message, I hope you know that without a doubt you are a Lightworker of sort. You have this ‘supernatural ability’ to transmute some negative karma in this world. I think that’s exactly why you chose to be born in tough situations and upbringing, all so that you could exercise your Lightwork on those types of situations. The ripple effect will be felt by all inhabiting Planet Earth, you know😊
That said, this FM in Leo would love to just say that the hard part of your Lightworker training is over. All that needed doing and seeing is seen and done. You’re no longer responsible for other people’s lack of common sense nor are you to blame when somebody else is lacking empathy when viewing a situation🧳All of the understanding and compassion you’ve ever poured into the 'wrong people'… all of that you give to yourself now. Be happy, child. You were only a child~😜
full moon self-care🔻🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘
Red Magus (Edward Kelly) & Priestess of Protection
Access bonus, cards + affs on Patreon🌸
☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.
[Moon PAC Masterlist] [Patreon] [Paid Readings] [buymeaboba]
#Moon Panda Pick A Pic#full moon#leo#full moon in leo#new years resolution#pick a card#tarot pick a card#pick a card reading#pac#tarot pac#pac reading#tarotblr#astroblr#astro notes#astro observations#witchythings#witchblr#witchcore#anti establishment#solarpunk
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Pierced—Vash the Stampede

Summary: How did Vash get that hoop in??
Word Count: ~1.2k
Pairing: gn!reader x Vash the Stampede
Content: fluff, a lil angsty, Vash deserves his sense of self ok
a/n: @aboveweirdest gave me this wonderful idea while we were analyzing this man to death! tyty was thinking about this when i got another helix piercing done recently so i whipped this up before bed
In recent days, you’ve seen Vash eyeing you. At least, more than what is normal. It was unsettling everytime you felt his gaze on you whenever you tried passing the time by creating something out of scraps you found into jewelry, specifically earrings.
For instance, he was doing it now, as your hands worked the small pliers expertly to transform a piece of gold wire into a hoop. You either usually pierce your own ears with your creations, or sell them in town for some extra cash you both could use for bullets or food. Vash wishes he could be as good as you on the artsy side, but you always remind him that he is good with his hands. No one can beat him in marksmanship.
“Like what you see there, gunman?” you tease, side eyeing him for a split second. Caught in the act, Vash blushes a lovely red that reaches the tip of his ears. You love getting a rise out of him.
“Do you wanna learn? Is that it? Because you’ve been a little too curious these past couple of days.”
“Mm.. ‘s not that. I just… How many piercings do you have?”
The question comes out of nowhere for you. You think it’s obvious, since mostly all of them are on your ears. Doing mental math, you count what you have on your ears.
“Uh, around 11? I’m thinking of doing more, but we’ve been too busy lately.”
He simply nods, humming to himself as he visibly thinks through your answer.
“Why do you pierce your ears?” You quirk your eyebrow at him. “Don’t mean that in an offensive way!” He quickly puts his hands up, offering a sign of peace. You laugh at his gestures. “I just been noticing lately that your usual customers are people with loads of piercings, and I never gave it much thought before to get one of my own, but I think…they look so cool on others. They seem so happy with them too, expressing themselves without even saying a word.”
Your hands still at his words, something dropping in your stomach and twisting at his solemn expression. Vash never revealed much about his past, and you never probed him further. Anytime anything connected to his past came up, you could clearly tell whatever happened had left its scars on him, physically and mentally. You respected his decision to close up those details, and reminded him that whenever, if ever, he was ready to share that load with you, you would be there.
You look back down at the gold hoop in your hands, an idea coming to mind. You quickly add the finishing touches, putting a little more effort into it as it was for someone special now.
“Hey, what do you think of this?” You hold up the hoop to Vash’s eyes, catching the glimmer in his eyes at your recent creation, like that of a thief spotting expensive items through a window. Greed and envy swirling together.
“It’s beautiful! You always amaze me with how you turn a piece of trash into such a pretty object. That one’s gonna sell fast Mayfly!” You warm at his praise and nickname for you. His confidence and support for your skills potentially outweighed yours for how he handled his gun.
Yet, you can’t stand the fake smile he plasters on his face, masking the jealousy he feels for the future owner of the golden hoop.
“Think I’m gonna sell it for free. It’s for someone close to me.” Vash simply cocks his head to the side. You roll your eyes at his obliviousness. “How about letting me pierce your ear for you?”
The change in his demeanor is quick. He straightens his back, eyes shining brightly, nodding eagerly at you. “I’m in your hands!”
Grabbing a small threading needle from your kit, you order him to sit close to you on motel bed. Cleaning your hands and the needle, you search his face, looking for any signs of regret.
“You sure about this? Do you know where you want it?”
He’s pensive for a moment, eyes looking past you. He hums, pointing at his left lobe. How perfect, you think, same side as his cute little mole.
You fidget, rethinking piercing his ear. You’ve only ever pierced yourself, so now that you have someone else in front of you, you feel like a total amateur.
“Hey. Get out of your head there. I know what you’re thinking.” Vash’s voice breaks through your brain fog. He wraps his hand around your raised arm, poised and ready to pierce him. He gently tightens his hold on your waist. “I trust you.” You feel your heart twinge at the soft vulnerability in his eyes.
“Ok, this will be a slight pinch. I know you’re used to pain-” you interject, noting his slightly raised eyebrow, silently telling you been there done that. “-but just follow my rules. Ok, breathe in for me.” You raise the needle to his ear. “And breathe out.” As you feel his breath ghost your arm, you push the needle as quickly as you can through his ear, quickly adding the hoop to his ear.
You turn around to wash your hands. “And there you go! Your first piercing ever! Crazy, considering that you’re like 150- hey don’t touch-” you catch him as he’s going to finger his new piercing, staring straight at the mirror on the vanity opposite the bed. The warning dies in your throat at the sight of him nearly in tears.
“I…I love it,” he says in a warbled voice.
“Oh Vash, what’s wrong? Did I hurt you? I really tried to be careful. Always with you.” You sit beside him, leaning onto his shoulder, rubbing his back in comfort. He sniffs.
“It’s not you. It’s just…this is the first time I feel like I’ve done something for myself. I feel like my own person. With just a hoop.” Wet tears trail down his cheeks. You press your fingers to his cheeks, wiping his tears. You know how he’s been burdened with his past, no doubt still feeling the shadow of his brother and the destruction that’s come from his actions. Perhaps this earring meant more than you could ever imagine, perhaps it finally binded him to the present, and to his own future that he can create.
“You’ve always been Vash to me. Never your brother. Just you. Vash the Stampede. The most amazing gunman to ever walk into my life.” He turns to you, wrapping his arms around you and pressing his face into your neck.
“Thank you. Now, I feel like everyone else. Maybe they can see me as one of them. Not this humanoid disaster.” You nuzzle into him, hands returning to their rubbing against his back.
“You look nice by the way. It suits you really well. The gold complements your blue blue eyes,” you tease, hoping to get a chuckle out of him.
He pecks your cheek, another thank you from him. He presses his face tighter to you, jolting suddenly. “Ow!”
“Yeahh, it’s gonna be a bit tender for a bit.”
masterlist
divider by saradika
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What does the rogues would think about Vigilant being great with kids ? At some occasions, Vigilant visit orphanages and hospitals to cheer up the little ones. Taugh them useful skills, give them advices, encouraged them to do their best.
Cute! xx if you'd like me to flesh out/and or talk about a specific character in particular let me know!
Riddler/Edward Nygma
He thinks it's sweet but he's not telling you that.
this is a man who finds kids inherently icky. think along the lines sticky fingers and too much curiosity
although.. if any new puzzle games or toys are left lying out.. do let him know if the kids like them.
don't say it to him directly, just say something like "oh the kids really enjoyed this puzzle cube I found around the house! it really went down well with one of them, they didn't want to give it back!"
He will make you many different inventions. after all, any puzzle for batman deserves a trial run..
Plus the next generation need to be as smart as him! he's blessing them with puzzle solving skills and critical thinking!
Scarecrow/Jonathan Crane
oh that's endearing to him.
as a child he wished to have someone care about him.
with how impoverished Gotham is, the hospital and orphanage system is extremely neglected. as are the children
to have someone care enough to come in and spend time to them means a lot, and Jon recognises that.
expect there to be a party on Halloween night (and not just his schemes)
he will take the time to make costumes with each child and organise trick or treat trips for those in the orphanage.
For those children in the hospital the costume making still applies but the candy will be hand delivered by the man himself. a spooky story time will be organised where they can listen to some (age appropriate) stories!
Two face/Harvey Dent
They get a little sad.
not to make it about themself but it does remind him of when they were campaigning and did the same thing.
they wanted to meet the citizens of Gotham and that included its future voters.
they think its a kind thing to do, which reflects your morals and values.
they would quietly be severing some of their ill gotten cash flow into donations for both establishments.
expect the money to be used for new blankets, toys and medicine for both the hospital and orphanage.
you will walk in one day and suddenly there's actual improvements happening!
Killer Croc/Waylon Jones
oh that's so lovely. he genuinely gets a bit emotional when he thinks about it.
He wishes he could help you do it too but.. he doesn't want to go and frighten a bunch of kids, y'know?
but if there was ever an instance where a child was struggling with their appearance, either a burn victim, a child with a skin condition or any physical differences who might benefit from hearing form someone like him, Waylon would go with you.
I can imagine him trying to make himself seem small and unintimidating while he tries to help this child with how they can cope with this issue.
He'll speak about how sometimes it will feel like you will never fit in or be accepted but that one day you'll find people who do. to not give up.
Clayface/Basil Karlo
this is a rogue who will happily accompany you!
he will use his abilities to entertain! he will come in as different people and characters! one day he's Captain America, the next day he's Superman!
he will spend all day playing with them! they wish they had a trampoline? oh boy he's always wanted to be one of those!
overall a brilliant supporter. Plus he finally gets to use his acting skills again!
imagine how brilliant he will be for the kids in the hospital specifically. since I doubt the Gotham health system has the financial ability to have a reliable make-a-wish.
for when someone's celebrity or character wish cannot be fulfilled, Basil is a wonderful substitution.
Bruce Wayne is genuinely confused when he sees that Batman has made it in the paper for the fifth time this month for making visits to the children for this exact reason.
Black Mask/Roman Sionis
That's nice doll, give to the poor and all that.
his reaction makes you think he doesn't care at all or that he feels indifferent towards orphaned or sick children
but that's exactly what he wants.
so when you walk into the orphanage and there's new and plenty of staff, new facilities, arts and crafts supplies, lush and nutritious meals, and hell- there's no mould! like, anywhere??
and you wont suspect it was him.
you'll never know how he was making steady donations to each cause and threatening management to get their act together.
you'll probably never find out it was him. unless you praise Bruce Wayne thinking it was him. then he'll be so pissed off you'll probably figure it out.
#styluswrites#dc#arkhamverse#batman#dc comics#dc universe#batman riddler#arkham riddler#dc riddler#riddler#black mask#roman sionis#scarecrow#harvey dent#twoface#two face#clayface#batman rogues#gotham rogues#killer croc x reader#basil karlo#jonathan crane#edward nygma#edward nigma#harvey dent x reader#x reader'
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