#but the tagging system...

[gillyeowalters]

Because it is the anniversary of his death, I wanted to share a small story about my grandfather.

Before I knew that I was intersex, I identified as a trans man. And I went the way any trans man has to go if he wants to transition in my country. My parents thankfully were supportive but I was afraid to tell my grandparents. My grandparents were German and lived/were raised during the third reich. While both of them never said or acted in a way that suggested that they had fascist views (my grandfather was until he died part of a leftwing political party), but there still was this fear in me. "They are old, they grew up surrounded by abhorrent beliefs...". And then there was my aunt. Who would constantly claim that my grandfather was homophobic.

The problem was, back then, there were no openly out gay people in our area, so I never got the chance to see my grandfather interact with someone who was queer. So I just believed her. Because she was so insistent on it. And because it confirmed my fears and my brain loves to be constantly afraid.

But I knew I wanted to come out. I had to, eventually, because I had stopped my estrogen treatment (back then, I did not know that I got that because I was intersex) and went on testosterone instead and first physical changes began to show. We all lived in one big house, so my grandparents would eventually notice.

I was so afraid that my father at some point offered to talk to his parents. I waited outside in the hallway that led to their kitchen and listened.

My father explained, easy to understand, that I was going to transition from female to male because I felt terrible in my body. My grandfather asked, "Is that why the child* is so depressed all this time?" I had been in and out of multiple clinics for manic depression at that point. My father gave a yes. And my grandmother made the incredibly selfish comment, "Can't that wait until I am dead?"

Before I even got time to be upset, my grandfather slammed his fist down on the table. I had never seen or heard him do anything like that before. He was a very calm and collected man who preferred to leave the room before he got too angry. "No, it can't wait. The child gets to get well now. And if that is what is going to help, then it needs to be done."

From that day on, he never used my deadname again or used the wrong pronouns for me. Sometimes, he would stop in a sentence to think and remind himself, but he did always address me correctly.

He celebrated with me when my name was legally changed. He built the bed frame for me and my boyfriend's bed when we moved in together, just like he had built the first adult sized bedframe for me when I outgrew my small bed. He drove my boyfriend to his chemo sessions because my grandfather also had cancer and knew how terrifying it was to go alone.

Did he fully understand what it means to be intersex? To transition? No. But he understood that one of his loved ones was suffering and that he could help to alleviate that pain. And so he did.

He taught me calligraphy. He taught me how to sew. He taught me bookbinding. He gave me many gifts.

But the biggest gift he gave me was, that when someone hated me for what I am, I could stomach it. Because this man was willing to unlearn the bigotry he had been taught for decades so he could love me for who I am.

*in my grandpa's dialect it was normal to refer to children as just 'the child' (genderless)

EDIT

I was blown away by how many people have reblogged this post. I believe my grandfather would be very happy to see that he can give some hope and love to others even now.

I do not want him to stay faceless; so here is a piece of art I made for his obituary, with a slightly altered quote added now.

Dahlias were his favorite flowers. Orange ones especially. They reminded him of the home he had to flee from as a child.

EDIT 28/03/25

Happy birthday.

[slimespecter]

MAKE ME THE [happiest man in the world!] AND [Die]

[jastard]

Chasing them with a flyswatter

[hugsohugs]

the combination of tenna not knowing what e-mail is and also calling spamton a mailman makes me think that at some point spamton tried to explain his job description to him but just could not get the concept across until finally tenna went "ohh i get it. you're a mailman!! you deliver mail!! ^D" and spamton was just like Sure Let's Go With That and then it just. never got corrected

[mimekind]

havent posted here in nearly 4 years but its mar13 day so heres a silly squid sisters thing i did recently :)

[lemurfriend]

i watched the svsss donghua not too long ago

[ratbastarddotfuck]

BODY HAIR, LET'S ALL HEAR IT FOR BODY HAIR 🎊🎉🎊🎉🎊🎉🎊🎉🎊

[littlemizzlinguistics]

Studying linguistics is actually so wonderful because when you explain youth slang to older professors, instead of complaining about how "your generation can't speak right/ you're butchering the language" they light up and go “really? That’s so wonderful! What an innovative construction! Isn't language wonderful?"

[singingrottenbones]

has this been done yet or

[mimefish]

nevermind everyone winner's symbolism cancelled. we cannot have another scar earth/mercury/comet situation again. I vote we all lay down our weapons and join hands in peace and accept that the one true symbol for Joel is the Car. wherever he goes whatever flavour of symbols you particularly enjoy. Car. Just Car. Because it would be really funny

[manzanamarim]

So I have been reading svsss here is my first contribution to this fandom

[archieluse]

peak hater behavior

[ID: A Scum Villain meme redraw of Shen Qingqiu in a Tiktok. He's shown standing on a porch and about to hurl a book through the air, captioned "When it's clear the author should've went to therapy instead of writing a book. His profile picture is official art of Shang Qinghua with a "no" symbol over him. End ID]

[mmgceramics]

Just submitted this guy and some others to a cup show. Hopefully I’ll hear back soon!

[orionis13]

This moment brought to you by ice feast

[othersharkss]

Finally finally settling on a Binghe design after much deliberation, Sage mentioned that they had accidentally made him look like Lady Oscar in one of their drawings which made ME realize that this was the missing ingredient from my Binghe drawings!

Top sketches are inspired by but not necessarily accurate to my favourite BingYuan fic 💕

[rustybutterknife]

Microdosing polyamory by dating a system