#but this is a solid 1000 words for one thing in order and not like with blanks or nowhere to go

[professorscrooge]

Sleeping Soldiers AU Draft - circa August '23

Feel amidst continuing to necro-post on this AU, I should probably actually post the draft of my attempt at turning this into a fic, bit more than a year ago. Ran out of steam, as I tend to, and it's a bit rough (also don't know if tumblr has a character limit, but fair warning, this is ~3k). Diverged from where ideas on this ended up going.

References to the original inspiration(s) can be found on posts here and here, and I will emphasise credit @phoenixyfriend, @epicmusic42 and @graylinesspam whose work I have been butting in on (and I think this may rip off some of their wordings). Leans largely into bits and pieces of the Legends timeline, but only through vague references as that's a whole monolith of a thing to try and understand. --

 Coruscant is a city of metal and glass; the planet that once was is buried beneath eons of sharp edges growing out ever further. As the centre of the Galactic Republic, it is demanded to be continuously modern (at least on the surface), with a slick and shining outer coating. Its noises are of technology; the heavy thrum of electricity is the heartbeat of the city, speeders and aircraft fill the air with their droning, and there are an abundance of holoscreens to display the inauguration of the new Chancellor of the Galactic Republic. 

 The Jedi Temple is perhaps the one exception: its tranquillity is unmatched on Coruscant, and its construction is old and solid. All the same, when the silence within the Temple was broken by noise, its nature was unnerving in its irregularity; not the shattering of glass or creaking of metal, not the whine of engines, not an explosion or a turbolaser or any such thing, it is a noise unheard on Coruscant for Millenia.

 It is a grinding, of stone upon stone, echoing up from its very deepest recesses.

–

Circa 500 BBY

 The Jedi Temple is an ancient relic of bygone times; old enough, that the only records that might say how old are held within its own walls (or rather, were, given the unfortunate number of sackings and assaults in its history had frequently damaged the famous archives). Its grand size is a symbol of strength against the dark, but also something of an impracticality in certain times. Its lower reaches are vast, stretching all the way down to the forgotten mountains of Coruscant; a surface where sunlight hasn’t shined in millennia. Construction kept reaching upwards for the longest time, keeping up with the rising levels of the city-planet as its foundations became buried under smog and filth, forgotten.

 In the wake of wars’ end, many lower levels were sealed away; who needed such vast halls, impromptu barracks and storage, when the Jedi no longer served as military leaders? There was no need to house so many people as to require them, and it was more effort to clean and maintain them than necessary for a monk order of a few thousand. After all, this was a Golden Age, with the Sith defeated, and a time of the High Republic.

 Age lent itself to secrets, and with time, many of those secrets were lost with their keepers.

--

 The newly minted Chancellor paused only briefly in taking his oath of office. Most present simply chalked it up to the weight of the vows involved being taken seriously. In truth, the hidden Darth Sidious that lurked under the unassuming garb of Sheev Palpatine had shivered at a tremor in the Force; local and distinctly, searingly Light in its origin, piercing the veil of darkness he and his master had woven over the planet for but a moment. Quickly, he steeled himself and resumed his words; it would not do to falter or drop his mask at this stage. And after all, what could stop The Great Plan now? Sidious had a thousand years of his Order’s planning behind his back. It wasn’t like the Jedi could think on such a grand scale.

–

Circa 1000 BBY

 The history of the Jedi Temple site may as well be a timeline of the Republic itself. With the ever-recurrent war that was fought over its location, and how often Coruscant changed hands, it wasn’t just built upon, but rebuilt, several times. The Grand Ziggurat of the High Republic era was built over the ashes and ruins of the Temple before it, reaching to the sky not far from where the newly built Senate District would form the seat of the Galaxy. A symbol of strength to a unified Galaxy that had defeated the evil of the Sith, once and for all.

--

 The Jedi Council scrambled to action, of course (in as dignified manner as they could). Even with their senses long-blinded by the veil that consistently hampered their sight, there was no missing the stirring beneath their feet. 

 “Awoken, something has,” Master Yoda was heard to declare.

–

Circa 3653 BBY

 The Soldiers’ Hall, as it came to be known, was a real anomaly. It was unearthed in the wake of the Treaty of Coruscant, and the Great Sacking of the Jedi Temple. The respite granted by the armistice with Sith Forces withdrawing from the world was a balm to the Coruscanti people, yes, but the Jedi had returned to a Temple filled with death and desecration. Their holiest relics had been plundered, and the numbers of dead were horrific; a toll only growing as they uncovered the deadly traps spiteful Sith had left behind to further ruin them. It was a painful experience for the survivors, not helped by the lack of justice and repercussions the treaty afforded them.

 With their returned forces in peacetime, however, it was decided to fully survey the Temple to account for all possible traps. The survey unearthed many lower chambers forgotten for centuries, which would soon be repurposed as bunkers for military assets. Naturally, the opportunity was also taken to strengthen ancient foundations with modern materials, which came with looking over the foundations of the ancient Temple grounds atop a mountain of Coruscant, and the Dark Shrine hidden there. It was known to the High Council alone that the old Temple had been built atop a Dark Vergence in the Force in an attempt to cleanse it, and a handful of masters yet survived to share that information to a select few. What surprised them more was the discovery of older ruins beneath the Shrine, built into the mountain itself, and seemingly dating to before the Alsakan conflicts, perhaps even the Jedi Order itself (though few dare voice this thought). The shift from precision, machine-poured duracrete that has been in use for millennia, to the more rough, hand-hewn stone is a sight that excites the archaeologically inclined allowed to see it. 

 Most of the tunnels are collapsed, but slowly, over several years of uneasy peace, a path is unearthed to a large atrium, central beneath the Dark Side Nexus. The discovery is shocking to those who uncover it; they’d gone from archiving very faded murals (amidst admonishment that such pre-Jedi religious teachings are not worth great regard), to cracking the door open to a great chamber filled with an army of statues. A thousand men – clearly soldiers – each expertly carved with incredible detail, each set of armour uniquely battle scarred and hand painted, each posed differently, and every single one perfectly preserved in defiance of their ancient surroundings. The warriors sat, or lay, or kneeled, in great concentric circles, facing inwards to a central figure, the only one not wearing armour; a Togruta woman, dressed simply, and with lightsabers resting at her hips. Where the soldiers were wrought from a pale white stone, she was crafted in warm terracotta in a relaxed pose, face bowed in conference with the Force. It was almost as if she were made of flesh.

 Despite the gathering of Masters who quickly investigated the room, none could quite manage to lay a hand upon her. The sense of foreboding was just too strong. Every gaze in the room was pointed towards her; an even thousand visors of solid stone, focused on this one woman, every one so lifelike as to be uncanny. In-fact, sometimes, in the corner of the Jedi’s eyes, it was almost like they moved; a chest rising and falling with breath, tiny fluctuations in the Force that evaded the senses, or flickers of dreams. Almost as if they were waiting for something.

 The Council ordered the chamber sealed; what markings upon the soldiers that could be identified were Mandalorian in origin, so clearly this was some work of those great adversaries and their common allies, the Sith. That those forces combined had so recently sacked their home likely aided this decision. Knowledge and warnings were recorded within the Council’s private library only, and would be lost some centuries hence by the passing of those who saw the sight and another sacking of the upper Temple.

 Beneath them all, the feared warriors continued to sleep.

--

 The sounds of shattering stone echoed within the long-forgotten chamber, even as dust filled the air from the broken remains. This noise was swiftly drowned out by a thousand throats all drawing breath at once.

–

Circa 5000 BBY

 Recapturing Coruscant was not the final victory of what came to be called the Great Hyperspace Wars, but it was perhaps the most important, given that all that followed became much easier with forces scattering. However, there was an interesting discovery made upon their landing; an empty Shrine, where once the Sacred Spire peak of Mount Satorl had stood.

 The destruction of the Sacred Spire had been one of the opening gambits of the conflict, so this was expected. The Jedi amongst the Republic Forces were most dismayed that the legendary Vergence in the Force that had rested there had been twisted into a Dark nexus, but this too had been rumoured by spies and propaganda. No, what was surprising was the lack of occupants, particularly Sith acolytes. This was a powerful nexus in the Dark Side, and a clear site of investment to build the new Shrine, but there was nobody present; just the signs of conflict that predated Republic arrival to the planet.

 Eventual interrogation of Sith Forces revealed rumours of a ‘curse’ upon the site; no force had managed to occupy the site for long, somehow always turning up dead. Construction of the Shrine had taken several years, and a great many slow attempts, always stymied by poor fortune.

 The Jedi took this as a sign that the Force itself resisted the corruptive attempts for as long as possible, and when granted a boon for their aid in the war, chose to claim the land for themselves. There, they built a new Temple, in the hope that the presence of many Jedi may once again cleanse this place that had long been sacred to a great many religious and Force-sensitive sects throughout the Galaxy. The Jedi Order would build their new headquarters at the heart of the Republic and therefore claim the site instead of any other religion having access.

 Of course, throughout construction, there was plenty of investigation of the ruins being built over (padawans got bored hanging around and waiting, naturally, and the Galaxy’s archaeologists were most invested in seeing how this location had suffered under Sith rule). Of particular note is a surviving chamber of the old Sacred Spire that is unearthed; a grand chamber filled with statues. Sadly, no records from prior to the Sith occupation persist, but a great many experts descend on the room to catalogue what they can of the astoundingly beautiful find that is far more interesting than dusty old clay vessels. The General’s Legion, they are quickly dubbed, given the militaristic bent.

 They bring in first art experts, then body language experts, even a scholar on Mandalorian culture once some symbols are defined. Most of the markings they find mean nothing, however; while Mandalorian symbols are identified a few dozen times, including Jaig Eyes on one of the more prominent soldiers directly facing The General, there’s no real commonality with any clan, or any real consistency. Many more besides are marked with nonsense; a loose word or number in some language, even some unrecognised languages that cause head scratching. The holstered blasters cause them to bring in antique weapons dealers to unsuccessfully identify them, causing yet more headaches at the clear mass-manufacturing on display, since most the soldiers bear the same weapons, but they are entirely unfamiliar. Artists are baffled at how perfectly detailed and well-preserved the figures are; the level of work on display would have taken hundreds of artists thousands of hours, but the style implies a singular sculptor. The historians flail wildly at whether these soldiers throw all the old theories about the Taung originating Mandalorian culture into doubt.

 The only experts who could agree upon something were those who attempted to psychoanalyse the figures; the way the men were arranged was with deference for the General, and those closest to her were the officers with the most decoration and adornment (and battle scars), while those nearest the edge were the lowest ranks. Originally, they thought the much smaller central figure was being threatened by the soldiers, but she sat in such a relaxed pose of confidence it seemed more clearly a commander’s position.

 Still, as time goes on, their observations are recorded and stored in the new Jedi library, and a towering new Temple is built over the ruins. Gradually, this fills with masters, knights and younglings looking forward to a new era of peace and prosperity. The past is not forgotten, but it is not the focus of an Order trying to rebuild after centuries of conflict. And so, the statues sit in their atrium, still and silent. Masters study them for decades, photos and essays are included in the new archives; they are a fascination, a mysterious piece of history.

 But, time passes, and slowly the fascination fades. The wider galaxy captures attention, the Regions are expanding in a new era of colonisation and there is great need for Jedi aid. Only those particularly intrigued by art and archaeology look through the old archives. The statues become more of a ghost story.

 Padawans sometimes gossip about them over latemeal. They dare each other to sneak down to the lower levels, and walk between the rows upon rows of sleeping soldiers. The truly brave (or reckless) of the classes make the journey, past the point where the air lifts reach, down long staircases and through the dusty thick air. Lightsabers raised high over their heads, they tiptoe between the first few rows, twisting wildly at jumping shadows cast over the room. Some stare petrified into the visors of the men, convinced that if you peer close enough, you can see eyes peering back at you. 

 Very, very few brave padawans make it all the way to The General – one or two per generation – but those that do, swear they hear her breathing.

 Over the years, those children grow into knights, into masters and grandmasters, and then they pass into the Force. Still, the tradition survives, for a time, until one day, when the new Temple has become old and known many Councils, the chamber passes from memory, and is lost for many centuries to come.

 But still, the soldiers look to their General for orders.

--

 The first breath is the hardest.

 Going out, the air feels abrasive and dust-filled, and her throat is drier than a desert. Then, she must try and breath in, and it’s an effort to fill lungs that have sat still for so very, very long. She coughs once, and then struggles through it, going through the motions a few times as she slowly registers her montrals ringing from the similar sounds about her.

 Finally, she looks up, eyes open and awake.

 “Orders, sir?” Rex asks.

 “Form up.”

–

Circa ??? BBY

 The Mountains were a safe place. A sacred place, to many. So when war came to Coruscant, it was to the mountains people fled.

The One-Thousand-And-One, a group of warriors who spoke no language anyone understood, but under whose strength, Coruscant stood against Alsakan [– Tion instead?]. They could never leave the Mountain, though.

—

And that’s all I managed to write out, couldn’t quite figure a) what I wanted their arrival period to be like/what they did there, and b) how I wanted the present-time to work out (likely marching on the Senate building and demanding Sidious’ surrender). Ended up with some Jedi-negative things in there that I'm not entirely sure where they came from (probably something emerging from my frustrations with Christianisation on mythology). May have been a bit uncharitable.

Much as I kinda like the framing of current day swapping back and forth with older and older eras, I don't think I'm coming back to this version - I think I prefer the more recent ideas related to the chamber's unveiling in more modern eras, and drama resulting therefrom.

[cloudsbrainpopped]

Okay so I’ve been thinking again and just wanted to put this lukewarm take out there? (No idea if people outside of one other person agrees so like??? room temperature take)

I hate Jade’s mission dress for what it is; whilst it absolutely blends in well and abides with Pagan Mins tastes to a degree there’s way too much room for failure with the dress itself and with any kind of scrape with a weapon if that happens (also like whilst the fabric was light it sure as hell wouldn’t provide any kind of defense in the case of… I don’t know… a gun? just saying…) it does it’s job, is a staple, seems like the kind of thing you can run in but can’t exactly breathe in just in case. I feel like there’s too much room for error with it despite being a disguise. (The hair is fine, out of the way and definitely doesn’t call attention to itself which is what a disguise is supposed to do. Like that part is perfect it’s the outfit I take issue with.)

I’m not one to call any design choices horrible when it’s serviceable to a point… but it feels so horrendously thought out and more like a kink meme fill then a serious idea and I know the designer took steps to mitigate that feeling (the accessorising is alright… not really feeling it but it’s the base that feels shallow to me so of course whatever’s attached is just going to be bought down and there’s the raise in the skirt that both brings a bit more dimension and makes any kind of tripping on fabric less likely which is a massive plus which makes hate kind of a strong word but you know what I stand by that.) Like I get the thought process, it just feels quite underdeveloped and underwhelming and there were so many avenues to go down at a gambling den, like a dress that falls just above the knee would do it, wigs, contacts and slight changes in makeup could have done it (though that would take some workshopping) but also! Pretty much everyone who works for Pagan Min is seen in a suit. It does not make sense for the henchmen to pass the outfit choice off like that when there’s a clear dress code. Given the access she’s given it’s a red flag (literally) that she appears to be so different from everyone else. (Yes, alterations are clearly allowed on top of that base because Pagan Min clearly seems to be a fashion guy and fashion is a way to see through someone and what they enjoy so like… hmmm.)

TLDR. Jade should have been in a suit similar, maybe a forest green tie so it’s… more recognisably her or because the original dress is a shippy moment, a navy blue tie would look fantastic (and be fantastic for a bit of a tie pull moment so long as it’s Sarah doing it or like. Anyone who isn’t yknow. A relative. And that could be the fanservicey moment. Not over the top but would drive an audience that’s interested in that absolutely wild and be subtle enough to not feel like it’s just 10 minutes of an extended unfunny joke.

On top of all that, with all that in mind Sarah would’ve known that, and Jade might’ve known that too given her own investigations. So really that design choice, given that it was canonically Sarah’s idea makes her look foolish and underprepared for something that she literally kidnapped people to do meaning she absolutely had the time to weigh each and every minor detail out and how it should go whether orders are followed or not and frankly it throws an Actually Out of Character moment onto her. Because is she a raging lesbian who was at least a little into Jade and was absolutely looking at her with hardly contained lust? 1000%. Would she allow that to get in the way of a formulated plan? Absolutely not. Yes, she acts impulsively, but changing a well manufactured plan without a solid reason is Not Her Thing. And was this thought through further? No, but if they were men maybe they would’ve been I’m just saying.

[eldrai]

so, full disclaimer this is 1000+ unedited words of me just playing around in the sandbox because ever since i watched his episodes i have been unable to stop thinking about dogma. that said:

thinking about a concept of dogma as more true neutral or morally grey. dogma and his loyalty.

dogma whose batch loses two members before they're out of their blues. dogma whose batch becomes an intensely protective triad. dogma who wants his brothers to survive, above all else, and whose brothers are the same. dogma who sees the rules as guidelines to not being noticed. dogma who keeps the remaining three of them flying under the radar not because he agrees with it all but because that's the only safe way to do it.

dogma who people forget, sometimes, outshined in personality by two more bold brothers, who hears the petty squabbles of other cadets but also the things the trainers say when they think nobody is listening. dogma who is very, very good at staying still enough, his head down, to slip right into the background. who is loud when he needs to be, silent when he needs to be, whatever he needs to be to keep his brothers alive. dogma who learns if they expect to hear his voice all the time he's around, they forget that its absence doesn't mean his.

(dogma's brothers, who scrap and brawl where he slinks into the background and observes; who learn to be the distraction and the action both. who weren't grown in the same tube but you'd never know it. they're the wild (fantasised) plans for escape, that desperate longing, and he's the realist. his own aching for their batchmates is more of a slow, smoldering burn than the bright flares of his brothers, steady and reliable and keeps them going through the stretches of hopelessness��they will get off kamino, one day. they've just got to wait.)

dogma who lets the other cadets overhear his batch's fighting over rules because it makes them think he just wants them followed to the letter. dogma who trainers trust: dogma the snitch, whose peers don't trust him and that's ideal. fewer people around him mean fewer to notice when his batch does something wrong. it means people don't go looking for him, and they get used to ignoring him.

dogma who wears the reputation like a shield. dogma who covers for his brothers: leant in the doorway as they try and slice the kaminoan systems for the holonet, for records of the rest of their batch, a lookout because nobody has reason to suspect he's lying if they ask him what's going on. that's just ct-6922, average-high proficiency in most skills but poor social cohesion (though, of course, not so poor as to be grounds for re- or decommissioning). dogma, who probably was the one to swipe the keycard to get them access to the empty computer labs in the first place, with the steadiest hands of them all. dogma who makes sure they talk where they're not heard, their backs to cameras to deny the kaminoans lipreading. dogma who makes sure their tracks are covered. who will break the same rules he harps on about because above it all, his loyalty is to his batchers first and Republic second.

dogma. named for the loyalty masked as obedience. it's not a bad name, all things considered.

dogma, on umbara. part of a trio alone. loyal to the Jedi in command because the Jedi are good, the Jedi are leaders, the Jedi are peacekeepers. dogma who does what he's told because he still hasn't got the most solid hold on which rules the 501st will let you break, which you're stranger for *not* breaking, so until it's safe he'll do what he does best. watch, wait. dogma who isn't, technically speaking, a shiny. dogma who still feels like it—months of training have taught him less than a single day in the field, sometimes, and the men around him have years on him.

dogma, ordered to carry out an execution, who does not particularly want it to happen but he and his batchmates did not make it off kamino to lose him now. he'll accept it in war. not from his own general.

dogma who kills brothers, the helmet slipping from his hand as he stares into a familiar face. whose loyalty was repaid in the blood on his hands.

dogma who tries to stop several men, most of whom are his superiors, with just one rifle. maybe he knows it's not going to work. maybe he doesn't. but he does know what happens to clones who rebel. if you carry the guilt for killing those brothers, it means you're alive to carry it at all.

(ask him how he knows)

dogma who is thrown into the cell next to Krell. dogma whose loyalty, wielded like a weapon, has been turned on himself. on others. dogma who is surprised, when krell falls and his fingers are curled around a blaster, surprised but not guilty. who kills krell because they're right about him being a danger if he escapes.

(who has been trained and trained and trained and trained to shoot—is it so unbelievable he kills a hostile when he was raised on simulations of doing just that?)

who kills krell because someone has to, and he figures his chances of coming out alive are better this way than krell getting loose. who has committed his second act of huge subordination and - ironically - treason in as many hours.

dogma, named for principles laid down by an authority as incontrovertibly true. and well, they're not wrong about his principles holding firm, but if they want to assume it's for following rules that suits him just fine. there's no need for them to see what spills out around the overlap of his own morals and the GAR rules. he keeps his cards tucked close to his chest. you have to, if you want to make it out.

dogma, who rex was right about: wound tight, but loyal

[rigelmejo]

In unrelated language stuff. Japanese really is... a mountain. Its a language I try a lot of studying experiments with, for one because its going to be many more years of study so I'm having fun, but also 2 because it has so many hurdles i personally have difficulty with so I am always hopeful some experiment will help things I study click better.

Like. Conjugation was hard to me in french, and there were english cognates to lean on, it is a fairly regular language conjugation wise (japanese has more exceptions i tend to forget how to conjugate). Then in japanese, everything being a very different word order combined with the information dense conjugation makes me even more confused.

A few things worked quite well for me in japanese study. One was nukemarines LLJ memrise decks, which after 2 years of studying other things, i crammed in 6 months and went from 300 words known from Genki and maybe 100 hanzi from Heisig RTK (yes i really didnt learn much in 2 years) to 1000-2000 words recognized and basic grammar and able to read Yatsubo and play Kingdom Hearts 2 in japanese (granted i know the game very well in english). Ever since then, ive been able to read manga and look words up to learn, or follow roughly a lets play of a game i know. I can never focus on anki long, but i recognize its use, especially when i was using the LLJ deck which had hanzi, common words in sentenced, and grammar. Since then, i havent used as organized of a resource. So i squander a lot more time, trying to figure out what to study.

Then I did Clozemaster sincerely for a couple months once in japanese. I think i only got through like 1000 cards. But it FINALLY helped me understand stuff like される られる word endings. Tragically, i forgot what they mean. But forca solid 6 months after my rime with Clozemaster cramming, i finally understood a lot of the grammar that had been confusing me. I desperately need to refresh that knowledge (if anyone has any good quock grammar explanation notes theyve seen). I only remember teimasu is like "ing" doing verb ending in english.

And I did japaneseaudiolessons, and the old glossika cd lessons, on and off. And each time i use audio for a while, i do make good progress. I seem to learn very well from audio. In particular, hearing so much japanese FINALLY got me used to the word order. So i struggle much less to follow sentences. Whereas before the massive listening practice, i would often lose the object or subject by the time i heard the verb. So i could not figure sentences out before, unless they were written, since id forget so much while trying to keep track of which word was which function. Lots of listening to audio lessons really helps me get into this rythm of intuitively knowing the order of the words and remembering the grammar through the whole sentence. Thats partly why i keep trying to study with more audio: its rhe biggest leap in terms of being able to understand japanese more instantly, to comprehend AS i hear or AS i read later (after audio study). I just cannot find another way to get my brain to internalize the word order, except LOTS of listening. The audio lessons have helped my reading skills SO much, all of my japanese listening skills so much, because now when i see eords i know i can comprehend what theyre doing in the sentence without thinking about it. And if i hear unknown words i can tell immediately if theyre subject object adjective verb time or a helper word like very/suddenly. I do plan to switch to reading study next, once I feel my vocabulary is solidly more than 2000 words (ideally 3000-5000 but lol im not sure ill find audio lessons that truly teach that much).

So yeah. Im studying japanese and chinese, on and off, as usual. And its always funny and frustrating when it hits just how much more I understand chinese. I took a 6 month ish break from studying ANY language. So ive been listening to audio lessons to review things i knew before, in Chinese and Japanese right now.

In chinese, i listened to maybe 4 hours of audio lessons review, and 2 hours of SCI mystery audiobook (i did not follow too much but hearing so many words helped jog my memory). Its been a week since starting review. Now? Well first of all, if i look at a chinese webnovel the READING skill comes back within 1 chapter and comes back before i eben did any purposeful reviews this past week. My reading skills in all languages seem to break down/be forgotten/get rusty the least. Second: now that I've reviewed for a week, I can understand almost all words in The Untamed (and the eordw i dont know i have been quickly google translatkng just to realize ITS WORDS I KNEW I JUST FORGOT THEM. Like 鬼 i cant believe i forgot gui its one of the first words i learned! Its in a lot of stuff i read and watch lol! Or 放手 i really forgot fangshou existed, i swear my brain just held onto hanzi as images fine but when i just HEAR a word i dont recognize it until i review it again... hence why SO much listening stuff im doing right now). I listened to 默读 audio drama last night and for the first 20 minutes i followed everything. I would guess i know at least 90% of the words (if i havent forgotten some - as with 镇魂 i knew over 95% of the words 8n most chapters right before i took my 6 month study break, and i also could read modu extensively at that point and get the main idea... since i knew thw english translation to guess bits). To be fair? With the audio drama, i did have the aid of knowing the plot already. But ive known modus plot a LONG time, and in the past i struggled to follow the audiodrama anyway, because compared to the audiobook it had less details forcme to use as a crutch to figure out what scene i was hearing. So me listening to rhe audio Drama yesterday, and following so much? Great. Ive also been listening to the mdzs audiobook, which has been brain frying as i started a week ago before realizing i needed to review the sounds of words lol. But also brain frying because the opening monologue words confuse me In Text form, so in audio form it took me 4 listens to realize they were saying the jiang jin nie lan clans fought wei wuxian etc etc. I heard meng and just completely forgot it meant clan, so my brain kept doing things like "is Xmeng a word i know?" It took me 2 listens to realize the next part was Wei Wuxian in mo manor, and 4 listens to realize mojia was MO FAMILY because id been going "mojia sounds familiar, do i know that word?" The last few listens lol. I also forgot fuchou! How! Anyway. Its an accomplishment. I have never had as much success listening to a BRAND NEW audiobook in chinese of something i havent read before, and been able to understand this much. Its not a lot, im just grasping a lot of phrases and the main scene ideas. And i do have my knowledge of The Untamed plot to help me guess. But its going better than listening to audiobooks used to go. And i see a Huge improvement in dialogue. When people talk now (except the guy who tells exposition stories), i find those words are easiest to recognize and quickly remember again. I think part of it is just: dialogue tends to be more direct communication of ideas, whereas descriptive narration can get creatively phrased and meander and discuss details in phrases i havent heard as much as ive heard conversational phrases. Like when i listened to SCI audiobook last weekend, i could follow some of the dialogue portions great, like at crime scenes, arguing, with their boss, it was the descriptions in between where id get lost for a while.

Its just sort of frustrating and sad how much stusying japanese is like hitting a brick wall and learning tiny chip by tiny chip as it wears gradually, and also grateful my mind clicked with chinese because im so over the moon i did NOT have to struggle as much with chinese. For chinese i thankfully could pretty much do exactly what i did when learning to read french, and i improved on that old study plan, and as a result chinese improvement went by faster than when i initially studied french and floundered for a while. I was reading priest novels by the end of year 1 of study (with a click translator like Pleco). The study plan was simple, worked fine. The confusing parts of grammar clicked with enough reading (after maybe 100 chapters of things), and now (likecwith french) my main grammar issues with chinese are learning to produce them right in speaking and writing. But in reading it just clicks and i know what it means immediately. I dream of the day ill finally get whats going on with japanese verbs and grammar ;-;

[norinorikamo]

one piece brain rot pt. 2

plot twist! its me rating their arcs. (MY OPINIONS!!) ((some are in order?)

romance dawn: 6/10. Solid intro for the show though! Zoro'a episode was sad + funny

orange town: 7/10. a bit slow paced, but it was great overrall. Shushu's backstory and buggy make it up though, a plus one.

syrup village: 5/10. MY BAD YALL. i remember being sleepy most of the time, captain kuro was a meh for me though.

baratie: 8/10. introduced sanji here and i fell in LOVE. the scene where mihawk appeared and sparred with zoro was great. it got very interesting + a bit of sanji's backstory.

arlong park: 8/10. i remember for always being pissed off at arlong so bad. an amazing opponent, nami's backstory was so fucking sad and i have to give it a plus one. the so felt relief when luffy defeated arlong was so fucking great.

lougetown: 6/10. i forgot 90% on what happened at lougetown tbh. but i did remember dragons appearance!

whiskey peak: 7.8/10. vivi mostly made me so pissed off at this arc (i love vivi now btw), zoro and luffy was awesome at this arc. they carried.

drum island: 9.8/10/ FUCKKK i cried so much during choppers backstory and on how luffy doesnt see him as a monster. it was so heartwarming and SO SAD??????????????????? LIKE WHO COULD EVER HURT CHOPPER?? VERY UNDERRATED.

alabasta: 9.5/10. shiitttttt dont get me STARTED. robins entrance was so fucking surprising? sanji's "mr prince" was so (redacted)). crocodile vs luffy was so ... THRILLING? if thats the right word

jaya: 6/10. i gave this a 6/10 cuz blackbeard pisses me off tbh

skypiea: 1000000/10. LOVE THIS ARC. very slow-paced but it was worth it. cried lots during this arc, eneru ON TOP

long ring island: 4/10. sorry all but i slept majority of the episode cause foxy and his crew pisses me off so much (esp the girl) + VERY slow-paced. but aokiji introduction was goated though

water 7: 9/10. loved it, the world building was SO GOOD??? villains were great tho, but mostly pisses me off too.

enies lobby: 1000/10. FUCL THIS ARC WAS SO FUCKING GOOD AND FOR WHAT??? PEAK fiction. the fights, robins backstory, luffy was INSANE.

post enies lobby: 8/10. cute, coby and luffy interaction and garp too

thriller bark: 8/10. the villains were fun BUT GECKO MORIA WAS SO PISSY? i love perona though. that one scene of nami made me uncomfortable.

sabaody island: 9.8/10. PEAKKKKKK!! kidd and law was introduced and i LOVED it. the celestial dragons pisses me off though. was relieved that luffy punched the shit out of that one (heart eyes)

amazon liy: 9/10. I??LOVE??BOA HANCOCK?? her backstory made me feel sad. BUT RAYLEIGHHH// HEYYYY...

impel down: 9/10. BONCLAY?>?>?>?>?>?> buggy was super helpful here. but it was so intense

marineford: 10/10. aha...aha... (insert opinions) (i love ace)

post war arc: 9/10. it was so suprising when luffy did the "3D2Y" thing. i didnt get it at first until someone pointed it out LOL

reutrn to sabaody: 10/10, FUCK ALL OF YOU!! kuma was si fucking sweet??? cried a bit though

fishman island: 100000000000/10. I LOVED THIS ARC SO MUCH I CRIED FOR THREE FUCKING DAYS AND IT WAS SO SAD :(( I LOVE SHIRAHOSHI AND HER BROTHERS SM

punk hazard: 9/10. I LOVE THIS ARC SO MUCH? theres a lot of funny scenes which i love, (that one law and chopper scene) and monet is pretty cute. LOVED caesar as the villain

dressrosa (current arc): 1000/10. favorite rn. doflamingos backstory and his usage of devil fruit was so fucking good? the introduction to luffy's gear 4 was amazing. the world building was GORGEOUS. and the backstory of kyros/rebecca, and king rikuo. that one booger villain pisses me off ??

(more coming soon hihi)

[ghostiedreamsz]

Guardians of the Galaxy had such a coming of age ending and I am going to cry

⚠️Before I begin, spoilers for every Guardian of the Galaxy movie, especially Volume 3. I’m literally about to dump the entire plot on you and then cry about it. Go watch it if you haven’t it’s good

So I watched every single GOTG Volume in one day because I was bored and oh good golly gee I wish someone warned me about the messages because they absolutely DEVASTATED me every time.

I swear to god, the only message I obtained from GOTG1 is “who gives a shit if your family sucks? Come join our gang of misfits! We may hate each other, but we all have our own problems, and have learned to respect each other. Let’s commit some crime!” and it’s the greatest thing I’ve ever heard. Gamora’s dad is a dick who wants to murder half of the Galaxy? Found family! Drax’s family was brutally murdered by a Thanos wannabe and he’s seeking out cold revenge? Found family! Rocket was taken apart over and over and over until he could finally supply his creator with the power and knowledge to create a perfect society? What the fuOUND FAMILY! What was James Gunn on when he created this shit??? I need me some of that If my college found family doesn’t cure my gender dysphoria and crippling social anxiety I’m suing him

GOTG2 had the same message but like 1000 times more powerful because this is AFTER they created their little Guardians of the Galaxy family and determined that where they came from and how shitty their parents are doesn’t define them. I loved this movie so much. It does wondrous things for my heart that I’ll need a solid year to just put into words. Also Mantis is in it and I love her

But GOTG3. OH MAN GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY 3. Shit had me SOBBING. It’s implied that it takes place after the events of Endgame (I never watched Infinity War/Endgame so idk what happened other than Gamora’s death it was memed to oblivion please don’t murder me) and their dynamic is so obviously different as a result. Quill is in shambles, Gamora no longer remembers they were together, it’s obvious Nebula feels some kind of guilt over what happened (or unrequited love for Quill), Drax and Mantis are doing their best to help but they just can’t, and Rocket spends half of the movie dying and reliving his hell of a backstory. Groot is frankly the only thing normal about this dynamic, but he’s Groot so we’re moving on. It’s obvious the Galaxy Family is not at their best. So you know what happens? At the end of the movie, after they’ve saved the galaxy a third time, and helped all the children and animals and such, they all split up and go their own ways. Gamora joins the Ravagers, Drax realizes his experience as a father makes him really good at raising kids, Nebula goes out to save more people who might have been victims like her, Mantis goes alone on a journey to find herself after realizing she’s only ever taken orders from others, Star Lord goes to see his grandfather one last time (and had me bawling my eyes out), and ROCKET. ROCKET TAKES OVER AS THE LEADER OF THE GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY! HE MAKES HIS OWN GUARDIAN GROUP TO SAVE PEOPLE WHO MIGHT BE IN SIMILAR SITUATIONS TO WHEN HE WAS A KID!! HE ALSO COMES TO TERMS WITH THE FACT THAT HE WAS A RACCOON!!! ISN’T THAT COOL?!

This is the greatest ending a trilogy could ever have, in my opinion. There’s no “We HAVE to stick together. We’re a team.” The group is aware that their dynamic is different, and that they aren’t what they used to be. And that’s fine! They all have their own problems to get over and passions to explore, so splitting up is the best solution! The found family is no more, but in its place is something so realistic and beautiful. It’s such a bittersweet, “so I guess this is the end” coming-of-age sitcom ending, but GOD I WOULDN’T HAVE IT ANY OTHER WAY. THANK YOU GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY, and here’s to more silly little adventures!!

[writeouswriter]

The curse has lifted (finally wrote more than like 10 words on something)

[kxmikomrade]

JJK Characters with a Venti!reader

Characters: Itadori Yuji, Fushiguro Megumi, Kugisaki Nobara, Gojo Satoru Genre: FLuff, Crack, Can be read as romantic or platonic (completely platonic on Gojo's) Gn!reader Pronouns: Y/P [Your Pronouns] Type: Headcanon Warnings: I think just a bit of swearing Waiter's Notes: I wanted to try out a new twist, feel free to drop by and order if you like it! ^^ Author's Notes: Back to my jjk phase, and i noticed how there werent much 'character!reader's here and i really enjoy those so i just took it into my own hands. My reqs are always open!

•Oh my Archons

•i cant with you two neither can Megumi tbh

•You're like two kids on a play date or smth

•He mostly doesnt understand your songs/poems so you're gonna have to dumb it down

•Tho he does like the sound of it

•He thinks your curse technique is the coolest thing ever like he has sparkles in his eyes every time you use it

•The way you control wind and make things fly is just so fascinating

•Please use ur anemo shit to make him fly. Bby has been dreaming of flying ever since he could eat weird solid food

•Sukuna would be so annoyed by you, and Yuji uses it to his advantage LMAO

•Though Sukuna prob knows who you are from a thousand years ago and just stays quiet about it because Yuji would definitely also use it against him

•Man, give this guy a break, he already has to deal with Gojo and the one braincell duo

•He would describe you as loud or annoying but he actually tolerates you just because you can be calming sometimes

•He likes listening to your poems or songs, helps him sleep

•You go knocking on his window at 2am in the morning to sing him a song when he cant sleep 💀

•How you know about it? no idea. You just reply with ''The wind told me''

•Yeah he definitely needs sleep

•Same thing with Inumaki, Megumi doesnt sincerely respect you because of your antics. But he does admire you for your skill

•Esp the way you hold the bow and use attacks with no unnecessary movements

•He overall just likes your company if u just keep ur damn mouth shut unless ur gonna sing

•To be quite honest with you, i think that she would think of you as a dumb potato aswell

•But she likes your beauty lets be real

•LIKE- YOU'RE SO GENDER

•SO?? WHY?? WOULDNT?? SHE?? TAKE YOU??? ON SHOPPING SPREES????

•I'd like to think that you both get along well

•ESPECIALLY IF U COMPLIMENT HER

•THEN HER FASHION SENSE

•THEN FOR THE CHERRY ON TOP, WRITE A POEM ABOUT HER

•Shes your aggressive best friend now

•Ready to kick your ass and to kick ass for you.

•Someone insults your hairstyle? No problem, theyre already hammered to the wall

•Gonna perform a song? your makeup is done, go slay it!!

•Oh my Archons part 2

•He was very amused when he found out your cursed technique could manipulate wind

•Listen listen, you're probably his favorite student with how much u side along his pranks and goofiness

•NANAMI, MEGUMI AND IJICHI ARE SO DONE WITH YALL LMFAOO

•u basically took 20 years off their lifespan

•Like during winter, Gojo could dunk cold water on poor Megumi's head and u would send wind in his way 💀💀

•Is he considering murder? yes, definitely

•Gojo isnt even worried about you because you tend to use long ranged attacks and even if it comes down to short range, you're ready to beat your opponent up and summon your badass Black hole and start shooting them with your arrows that they end up being a porcupine

•IMAGINE HOW SICK IT WOULD BE IF YOU COMBINED THE BLACK HOLE WITH GOJO'S HALLOW PURPLE

•He occasionally brings candied apples for you when he comes back from missions

•smh favoritism

•He would get SO smug when u write a song/poem about him

•He brags to everyone and anyone about it 24/7, they first thought it was cute, now its getting so annoying

•IF you're like 1000+ years old like Venti then expect this man to go *insert surprised pikachu* when he finds out

•I honestly have no idea what his reaction would be if he finds out you're a literal god 💀

(626 words)

[devondespresso]

i think its also possible that the lack of confidence comes from (or also comes from) that sort of inner perfectionism, that feeling that the fic has so much potential but the way its turning out isn't lining up with that you know it could be, and maybe that dulls your excitement for actually writing or finishing it.

at least thats the type of confidence issue im most familiar with xynxngxngxng. if this is at least part of it, theres a couple things i do to make it easier to keep going

first is the whole trust-the-process mindset. i remember seeing something along the lines of "the first draft is to make it exist, the second is to make it functional, and everything after is to make it good" and i think with pantsing its especially important to keep your first draft(s) low-stakes because the point of them isn't to be a whole fic, the point is for you to discover what's going to happen. its going to be messy, could be completely out of order, incoherent and honestly appalling because its not the final fic.

but the whole trust-the-process thing can be pretty hard to really believe in at the start, especially without any personal proof that it is real. i think drabbles are a good place to start. really really tiny stuff, aiming 500 words but anything under 1000 words, because those words go by so quick you can only focus on one really specific idea and its quick to play around with and refine to your liking! my absolute favorite fic ive ever written is like 800 words, but even if you don't make your favorite masterpiece ever its a solid low-stakes warm-up.

the second thing is some I definitely have to keep working on, but it is essentially redefining what "perfect" means for the fic your working on. because in art perfection is less an achievable quality of the work (because like, theres not a single piece of art out there that everyone agrees is perfect, its all too subjective) and more like a feeling. you look at the work and you notice things and depending on what your focusing on it either feels amazing (reading other ppls fics usually jztnxn) or feels imperfect.

and to help with that, i try to think about all art (especially my favorites and my own work) in terms of what the appeal is, what makes me and other people love it. its applying the thought process you use to appreciate your favorite fics to your own fic, taking off the nitpicking-hyper-critical author glasses and see your art more clearly. i love analyzing media anyway, but i feel like seeing flaws in art and understanding that it doesn't have to detract from how incredible it is has helped me be more forgiving with the imperfections i find in my own work.

and reallllll quick last little tip: if you can, find a writing buddy!! it doesn't have to be a big group, just one person to cheerlead while you build your writing confidence back up!! there are betas out there that help cheer you in while writing or you can ask a friend if they wanna trade cheering (you hype them and they hype you, if you're the type to feel kinda bad about asking for betas/cheer-readers, ive totally been there). it helps so much having a strong positive voice as backup while you're wrestling with that nasty little mean one in your head

its totally cool if none of these help fix the problem entirely, every writers different, but there is going to be some way to get through this, even if it takes a lot if trial and error and digging, even if you end up pioneering a technique or thought process or habit to figure out how to get your feelings on the same page as the things you know logically.

you're doing great and i wish you the best for getting back into writing again!! 💕💪💥

Hi! I have a writing related question. I have a major problem finishing things, specifically the second half or last third. I'm a pantser, and have tried planning to help fix the issue, but it's just...not my style. I plan and it all changes anyway. This problem has been going on for a long time and by now I'm fairly sure the culprit is psychological/lack of confidence. I know logically this is a common occurrence and I likely just need to push through, but I simply can't do it, most of the time even with shorter works (I then feel worse about myself as a writer, which makes the problem worse, etc). I guess what I'm asking is, if you or anyone has been in this situation, and some general tips or words of wisdom lol. I know the issues, but still can't seem to fix it. It's affecting my ability to write and now I can't even start stories like I used to either. It's making me miserable. I love writing and want to have it "click" again; right now I just feel sort of broken, creatively speaking.

I'm not very fandom social but I do read this blog all the time, it's a gift. So helpful on so many different topics, and I felt comfortable finally reaching out here ♥️ Thank you for everything you do here

I think you know part of the issue. You know that you can't finish works and you know that planning doesn't help you. You think there might be a lack of confidence, but you don't seem all that certain about it.

I think you should dig in a bit more and see what the actual culprit is.

Are you worried that your writing is bad and will be poorly received?

Are you worried your story is too niche and no one will read it?

Are you worried that the things you write might lead to harassment or bullying of some kind?

What you'll notice about all of those things is that the worry is about how other people will react to what you've written. That's something that's completely out of your control.

To get back to the joy of writing, try writing something just for yourself, with no intention of posting it. See if that helps you get to the end. Often people who have issues with perfectionism or shame or anxiety will put off finishing projects because they want to avoid the judgement that comes after something is finished. If it's never done, no one will tell you that you did a bad job.

If you're like me, then planning is the opposite of helpful because as soon as the plan is in place, it feels like the story is already written. Instead, try working with a plotline that has lots of different ways that it can go. Make it into a kind of "choose your own adventure" but for you, the writer. As you get to each stage in the story, leave choices open so that you can go left or go right - but you can also go up or down or swing in a circle.

Refocus on the parts of writing that feel more like play than like work and do more of that. Reconnect with the joy of it. Then, when you actually like it again, you can figure out whether you actually still want to post your works and how you can deal with your worries then.

*hugs* it's a rough spot right now, anon, but I think you'll get through it. Let's see what advice the rest of the blog has to give.

[withoutyouimsaskia]

Remember Me, Special Dreams

Part XV.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 Part 18 | Part 19 | Part 20 | Part 21 | Part 22 | Part 23 | Part 24 | Part 25

GIF: Originally posted by @imironstark

Summary: Self-insert. You're having trouble with recurring night terrors and Morpheus pays you a visit. (Title from the lyrics of Placebo’s Special Needs)

Warnings: language, angst, mentions of night terrors.

Word Count: 1.6k

A/N: Hey peeps. I’ve been going through previous chapters to refer back to things and I’ve noticed a worrying trend of Tumblr taking random sentences and putting them out of order. I’ve been amending them but only managed to get half way through so far... Anyway, hope you enjoy this one, it is so very soft, much needed after the last one. Have a good evening, all my love, Saskia <3

Sandman Masterlist

---------------------

You remain there in the safe encirclement of Morpheus' arms, focusing on the pressure his hands exert on your lower back. The feeling of the hidden strength in his lean, lithe frame. His intoxicating scent, that is usually stimulating, is even more addicting now that you are pressed right against him.

It is sensory overload on another plane.

The embrace lasts for an indeterminate period. All sense of time has ceased. Everything you know is your sadness and his closeness.

You are a trembling, agonised collection of cells, with every nerve ending viciously vying for your attention.

Morpheus is the definition of serenity and you are the polar opposite of that adjective. If anything, right now, it feels like he is neutralising your despair, or at least helping you stop any more coming to surface and consuming your mind.

You understand that at some point, you will have to let go, and the notion of it pains you.

You nuzzle your face against his chest, and it is not lost on you at how needy the feline-like movement is.

Yet you don’t care. He doesn’t protest and the act is soothing.

The sensation of his coat against your cheek is softer and more luxurious than any material you have ever felt, even more so than cashmere. There's something else too; an otherworldly current running in the black fabric that hums with the cleansing resonance of a singing bowl.

You hold tighter still. Going from touching solely the collar of his coat to also a section of skin at his neck. It is cool under your clammy palms. A steady pulse ticks just under the pale surface; you dial into the rhythm and use it to calm yourself.

You count the beats. It takes 1000 of them before the tears eventually stop streaming and your breathing regulates.

Your grip loosens fraction by fraction as your drop in adrenaline turns your muscles from a twitching solid back to something more pliable.

Morpheus then withdraws, and the loss of contact is ache-inducing. You are immediately toying with the edge of your sleeve to distract from it, then upgrading to anxiously grasping your hands together when you feel the overwhelming emotions gaining traction again.

Seeking eyes rove across your reddened and blotchy visage. His voice is the whisper of mist on an autumn morning.

"Do you wish to talk about what happened?"

Your bottom lip quivers.

There are no words at first.

Then they come all at once. 

A downpour. A deluge. A flood.

“I shouldn't have gone to that bar. Everything would be fine right now if I had listened to my needs. Been assertive instead of defaulting to being a pushover. I have so much evidence that proves that I’ve never been totally happy in those kinds of group settings and knew I wasn’t ready to be exposed to all those people, but I cared more about their opinions of me than I did about my own well being.”

Morpheus’ raven brows draw together and you can almost swear that you see a darkness flash in his eyes.

“Did someone hurt you?” He says lowly.

"Not physically," you clarify quickly before drawing a deep breath in through your nose. “I saw my ex.”

His jaw clenches at the mention of the person however, he remains silent.

“They’re engaged to someone else,” your voice is warped and creaky.

"I know I broke things off but I have been grieving our relationship and yet it seems like they've just moved on without a backwards glance.”

Your throat is thickening with uncomfortable heat.

“I guess I feel like they’ve replaced me so easily."

You swipe angrily at the tears on your face.

"I don't even know why I am reacting like this. I chose this path. I should just be happy for them, instead of dragging you back into my drama and wasting your time…”

You trail off, moving backwards one pace.

Guilt is starting to prickle in the back of your mind. Not too long ago, you had been reprimanding yourself for having less-than-platonic feelings for Morpheus. You had fantasised about kissing him, and had then gone through with it. Did that make you a hypocrite?

Tightness seizes your chest as the velocity of your mental spiral kicks up into 5th gear.

Morpheus steps forward to meet you.

"You do not have to explain your feelings to me, nor do you have to give them justification. Allow yourself to feel, Y/N. It will do you no good to smother your emotions.”

You want to believe him, to act on his advice but it is tough. You have no idea how to answer.

"I'm so sorry, Morpheus," you choke out.

His response is earnest and gentle, “You have nothing to apologise for.”

Self-loathing takes over from remorse.

“Yes I do. I put in so much fucking effort to steady myself, to quell my threat to The Dreaming and none of it has made any fucking difference. You must be so disappointed in me.”

You fix your attention on the pictures on the walls.

"Y/N, look at me."

You can’t do as he asks. You shake your head as your cheeks are wetted again.

He’s suddenly cradling the back of your head with his right hand. Willing you to connect your gaze with his.

The pull to look is potent. You acquiesce.

“This is a setback. Your progress has not been eliminated. You will stabilise again.”

The compassion in his ocean eyes is disarming.

"You are stronger than you realise, Y/N."

Your heart clenches. Maybe he is right. You have come remarkably far since the week of the night terrors.

You nod, moisture once more blurring your vision. You want to nestle back against him so you do it, sliding your arms around his slender waist.

You can feel his heart beating against the side of your face and you go back to counting the pulses. You wait until 500 of them sound before talking again.

"I should let you get back. I don't want to take up anymore of your time," you say the words against his chest. 

"Come with me," he whispers.

You leave his arms, shaking your head, adamant that you cannot rely purely on him, and determined that you will not cause him anymore problems.

"You are hurting. I will not simply abandon you."

Guilt and discomfort twist your face into a grimace.

He looks at you with regal obstinacy. "I will not take no as an answer."

You appreciate that there is no getting out of this. And while it reads like Morpheus is clearly used to getting what he wants, you can also see that his persistence is coming from a place of care.

"Okay. But only for a little while."

"No, you will accompany me for the duration of every night until I am satisfied that your distress has been allayed."

"Absolutely not. I don't want to distract you."

"You would not be a distraction. I will complete my work as intended.”

Your brain is a flurry of activity, weighing up this suggestion. You are really tempted for you have really missed Morpheus.

"So it will be like job shadowing?"

"If it helps to think of it like that, then yes."

You nod slowly. “Where to first then?”

With a graceful movement of his hand, Morpheus indicates to the door.

There's a whoosh of cold air; you blink instinctively and when you recover, your surroundings have completely altered.

Lush green has been replaced by a much darker palette. Sand sits beneath your feet, midnight black in colour, buffeted into lazy swirls by a persistent breeze. There are mountains too, made up of a marl of greyish and brown rock. Low hanging storm clouds scud across a bleak looking sky, the sun barely peeking through the blanket.

It's rather desolate but breathtaking nonetheless. Completely different to the rest of the heart of the Dreaming that you have thus far seen.

You hear Morpheus’ footsteps retreating. Turning to follow, you are suddenly confronted by the truth of your location.

You are just outside of the perimeter you had spied from the palace ramparts. Positioned directly before the gates.

Gates that make all others pale in comparison.

You are gaping.

Sweeping, pointed arcs stretch up the walls and beside the doors. There are likenesses of animals and symbols that you recognise from your world. Beings and objects that you have no point of reference for. And faces. So many faces.

The detail. The scale. The history.

Stories were being told in these carvings.

Powerful emotions blossom in your soul. You are truly humbled.

You drag your wide-eyed gaze from the intricate monument to Morpheus.

A little smile pulls at his lips.

“The Gates of Horn and Ivory,” he states.

Wind whipping his coat, Morpheus strides towards the gate and lays his hands upon the pale stone.

An energy surge cuts through you, the remnants of it fizzling out for miles across the uninterrupted landscape.

He bows his head as if thinking and then stills completely.

You do not know what it is that he is doing but it feels strange to watch him so intently. You turn away.

There’s a profound urge to know if the sand here feels dissimilar to that of the waking world. You crouch down and dig your fingers down and across into the dark grains.

Something is different. You cannot pinpoint what. Maybe the grain size. Maybe the weight. 

You go to scoop up more but Morpheus is back at your side.

You straighten quickly, brushing your gritty hand against your trousers.

“Where to next?”

----------------------

"I wish that I could fix it for you but instead I'll be right here coming through."

 Taglist: @pinkcyclewitch @layla2-49 @shoidy-cat @silverhart93 @boofy1998 @dotieeee @ponyboys-sunsets @fangirlmary @littledollll @fatimakinney @jamiethenerdymonster @rosaren2498 @mr-sandman-bring-me-a-dream @madiebear @sandman-33 @sallysal9 @asiludida164

[a-lil-perspective]

70 Encouragements/Tips For The Writer:

A/N: Rules don’t exist. These are real and personal and stem from a deteriorating, exhausted Writer who is here to tell you (and herself) that you are amazing and keep going. I hope you find some encouragement within.

Your mental health comes first and foremost.

Indulge and embrace your creative writing pieces when they come (and when they don’t). Especially when they don’t.

Suffering from Writer’s Block or fluctuating hyperfixation? Me too. So is your favorite author. Welcome to the Writer’s Block Party (all my uwus if you see the pun).

Did you spend five hours on this one segment, forget the last time you ate, develop chapped lips, dry eyes, and a stiff back (time to get up and move), bang your head on the wall, laugh, cry, fidget, take your ADHD meds, deviate to watch YouTube, have an epiphany, curse in frustration and wonder why the hell you do this to yourself? Congratulations, you’re a Writer.

Embrace all the not-so-glamorous sides of writing, and accept the fact they’re going to happen time over again.

When you say “just one more line” and it’s 2:00 AM, I’ll be here to remind you to “go to sleep” (because I’m also depriving myself lol).

Actually, sleeping helps your mind feel refreshed, and it’s good for your health. If you’re struggling with a particular segment, one of the best things you can do is just put a cap on it for the time being, put in a placeholder, and get some shut eye. I know you don’t want to. But you will feel so much better and have more clarity and energy to continue when you wake. Trust me.

More often than not, those words you “just didn’t write down fast enough and now forgot” end up revealing themselves to you later in a much more profound way. Give the words time to get ready. They’re just spiffing up before coming to visit. :)

Be proud of yourself and your prose. Writing is an amazing part of who you are.

That trope has been written 1000 times before? Make it 1001.

You’ve already written this scenario? Write it again.

You’ve just written a single sentence. Now sit back for moment and think: you just wrote something brand new, never before seen. Nobody out there will ever write that sentence or formulate those thoughts the exact same way. You are a unique, mind-blowing, awe-inspiring human being.

Bask in the excitement that comes with a completed piece. Reflect on what you learned throughout and celebrate the little victories.

Don’t be afraid to ask for feedback, but also understand that you might not always get it, and that is OK.

Please re-read your work. Be gentle with yourself. You had to write that very first piece to get to where you are now. Love the process.

Your personal writing success is not based off of kudos or likes or reblogs.

There is no right or wrong way to write.

There is no such thing as “good” writing.

Improvement is becoming of everyone so get comfy, strap in. The journey of a Writer is a lifelong one. Here’s to many more works ahead.

Don’t mourn the words you did or didn’t write. Celebrate the ones you will.

One day, you’ll read a piece that will blow you away—and it will be yours.

There is nothing “shameful” about reblogging your own writing works.

I promise you’ll find your “wow” piece—either in something you’ve already written, or something yet to come.

Baby. Please don’t write out of spite. You’re better than that.

You are just as valid/deserving as the next Writer. And you do belong.

If you feel sad/unworthy when sharing your works or interacting with others’, get to the root of why. Writing should be fun, rewarding, and relaxing. Not shameful, embarrassing, or a chore.

Writing (fanfiction, specifically) is labeled as “transformative works”. Self-explanatory, right? However, if you notice the transformative part begin to have a personal effect on you—a negative one—it’s time to take a step back.

Right now, I can name a single quality you possess: diligence. How do I know? Because you’re a Writer, and the two go hand-in-hand.

Got that single scene in your head but you haven’t completed or even began all the chapters preceding? Bruh. Jot that down right now. You don’t need 20k words beforehand.

Embrace your writing mood swings. The stray, sweet and condensed blurbie. The ideal, bridging drabble. The solid, substantial oneshot. The hefty, elaborate 10k word chapter. Appreciate everything in-between, and that you are capable of all of it.

Nobody remembers that extra word or typo or stray speech mark back all the way back in chapter 3. Tell the little monster in your head to go to hell.

You’re not a weirdo for making facial expressions and mulling through your dialogue aloud. You. Are. A. Writer.

It’s OK if the Readers can’t always see exactly what you envisioned in your head, or the full extent of the picture you painted. We all see colors differently.

Don’t be afraid to experiment with your writing.

In fact, challenge yourself to dabble into a new plot/trope/concept every day, even if only for a few minutes. You may discover you love writing it.

There’s no rush to finish/begin any written work. If you take your time, you will make your mark. You’re not falling behind or running late. Slow down and wait for it. :)

Three cheers for hiatus.

Listen to your body and mind, know your limits and when it’s time to take a break.

Actually take a break. :)

If you feel like you’re falling stagnant in creativity, looking to/revisiting other forms of creative media can help encourage the flow.

Ask for encouragement, and be at peace with asking.

Take shelter in fellow writers. Uplift each other always.

You are/will be someone’s favorite author. :)

You don’t have anything to prove. You have something to share.

Someone is thinking about your work right now.

Someone started a series because they drew inspiration from you.

Personal writing style can reflect a lot on the state of one’s mental health. Try to always be attentive to that of your own.

Self-validation must be cultivated early on or nothing will ever work.

Freestyle every once in a while. Write a snippet, timed, and go—without editing. Write the first thing that comes to mind and go from there. Do it all the way through the set time. When it stops, you’ll find yourself unable to. 3,800 words here we come. :)

Not everything needs an outline. :)

It is completely normal to write your story out of order.

Create guidelines for yourself. If they aren’t working, toss ‘em.

Word vomiting can help you feel better (it’s just how it sounds). By clearing all those jumbled thoughts and scattered concepts, you achieve a clearer objective. Try it sometime.

A rough draft is supposed to be rough.

Sometimes the words come to you quicker than others. Be patient. That is merely the construct of a Writer’s mind. You’re a beautiful enigma.

A sentence written is a story progressing.

Writing is an endurance sport. You must pace yourself and exercise it daily.

You are still a Writer even when the words aren’t on the actual page.

You’re not obligated to a writing/posting schedule.

As you progress in your journey and gain more awareness, don’t sacrifice your style. Those beginning works are what define you. Hold onto them and don’t ever let them go.

You’re the only one cringing—

Remember that sometimes words are elusive and you don’t always have control over them, and that is OK. Sometimes they write themselves. Sometimes your characters come to life and break out into dance across your page. Dance with them. You can wrangle them back when the music stops. :)

There is nothing condemning or embarrassing about asking for a beta. Allow someone to help carry the load.

Allow people to cheer you on—even if they don’t read your work.

It’s OK if your writing style isn’t someone else’s preference.

Be your biggest cheerleader. Sometimes you are all you have.

You don’t need anyone’s approval except your own.

You love that trope/concept/story you just wrote? That’s all that matters. The end.

You will never write good. You will write you. And that is good.

Above all else: remember to write for you.🤍

[tipsycad147]

The Fearful Stigma of Herbs and Energy Known as “Witchcraft”

Witchcraft has an enormously stigmatized history. Ya know, burnings at the stake and whatnot. Growing up in the heart of the bible belt, I feel as though I’ll be burned just writing this.

A notoriously violent species, we are. Though the fact that it IS safe for me to write these words lends to the belief that we really are living in the safest time in written history.

Even if it doesn’t seem so.

Fear follows that which isn’t understood. And where there is fear, there is violence.

Understanding is what we should all be seeking in all things to remedy the conflicts of the world. BUT ANYWAY, let’s take a look at witchcraft and what it is exactly.

If you were able to travel back 1000 years and face someone of that time with the contents of your pockets, you would “Risk” (Emphasis on that word) be labeled a witch because you possessed a magical device with moving pictures upon it.

You recognize this as science. What is science but magic that we have studied enough to understand?

In a world where google doesn’t exist and understanding is based on the individual education level of the often scare resources of who you talk to, it’s easy to see where ���magic” would be used to fill in the gaps of confusion.

Magic Vs Magick

“Magic” is Harry Potter. Flying cars and Unicorns.

“Magick” is science that is still eluding us. For what is science but the workings of the natural world? And all that is, is.

It ties together all aspects of life. The connection between the physical and nonphysical, all scientific and some unexplained.

Despite what limited beliefs we may tie to it’s definition and understanding. We don’t have to understand it for it to be true. Like a child who doesn’t have to understand the workings of technology for it to exist.

Witchcraft is the art and spiritual practice, often healing in nature, that ties it all together.

The Order of Healing

As discussed in the podcast episode above, healing is easiest accomplished in the order presented to us in Moslow’s Pyramid which can also be translated into the chakras.

The concept is that you must start at the bottom and secure a solid foundation before we’re able to build upon that base.

Witchcraft Through History

Other/older cultures / /civilizations revered witches as:

Leaders

Seers

Healers

Priests

Priestesses

Advisors

Teachers

Wise men/women

We could talk about Christianity and the effect it had on the world from a societal, cultural, philosophical point of view in a lot of directions but let’s save that for a podcast episode.

I’m sure you’ve heard of the crusades.

Anyway, enter politics, I’m sure. It’s all just “spicy psychology”, right?

Holding “powers” of knowing, understanding and working with the natural world required skills and knowledge often passed down from one “witch” to the next.

These people were the leaders of the village. Looked up to for their guidance and translations. They healed with their herbs, offered advice to the workings of community and were loved among their people.

Skills once celebrated began to be labeled witchcraft and demonized with the rise of the patriarchy and Christianity along with it. Including but not at all limited to:

Living in harmony with nature / the universe

Crystals

Herbalism

Meditation

Spirituality

Energy work

Midwifery

“old wives tales”

Living with the tides of the seasons, elements, cycles of the moon, etc

Side Notes

Patriarchy demonized women and the powers they held in these areas of natural science.

Media painted pictures of villans

Humans fear that which is different and mysterious (Men women and children killed for being different

Wicca is a whole religion. Some wiccans are witches. Not all witches are Wiccan.

The root “wic” or “wicca” means “wise”

Witches were seen as keepers of knowledge

“Wiche” – to practice witchcraft – old English

Lots of origins, barely varying

Phytoncides: antimicrobial compounds created by trees and breathed in by us during forest bathing.

https://earthandwater.co/witchcraft-a-stigma-of-natural-science/

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

An imagine for adeuce please! They hang out someplace in their hometown during vacation but awkwardly run into crewel. I think treys family bakery would be a nice location but the setting is your choice in case you want to limit the dialogue and number of characters

Ps. I personally feel like the game needs more interactions between the students and teachers. Hopefully we can get more in the new event

Teacher-student interactions are so much fun! We definitely got more from Vargas Camp (which I’m really thankful for), and I hope we keep getting more!

So far, my favorite teacher-student dynamic has been Vargas and Azul. I’d feel bad for octoboi if I wasn’t laughing so hard at his flying fails--

I really liked this prompt, so I wrote more than my usual ~1000 word imagine; please enjoy!

***Mild spoilers for chapter 4!***

Imagine this...

The Rose Kingdom was aptly named for the flowers that bloomed in nearly every corner of its land. In the summer time, they blossomed magnificently, perfuming the warm air with their heady aroma—but in the winter, those delicate rosebuds were banished by a spell of frost. Without fail, a great cold would wash over the region every year, casting their famous red flowers in a thick layer of white.

It was a pattern that the kingdom’s residents had long since grown accustomed to. This was, after all, their beloved home—amid the roses, frozen as they were.

“Oi, Deuce! Hurry it up, will you?!” Ace called, tossing an annoyed glance over his shoulder.

His friend—wearing so many layers that he resembled a moving blueberry more than a human—lagged several paces behind.

Deuce attempted to return the sass, but his words caught in the scarf bound tightly around his mouth, coming out muffled instead. The puffball on his winter hat furiously bobbed up and down, as though communicating his frustration for him.

“If we don’t pick up the pace, they’re gonna sell out of hot chocolate and fresh pastries!” Ace rushed back, grabbed Deuce by the arm, and tugged. “C’mon!! I thought you were in Track and Field Club or something—so let’s get moving!”

Deuce loosened his scarf with his free hand and, glaring at Ace, declared, “No way am I running with the roads this icy. That’s a recipe for disaster.”

“Hah? You serious? I already got wasted enough time waiting for you to dress in your 101 layers of coats,” Ace grumped, gesturing to Deuce’s ridiculous outfit. “It can’t hurt to be a little quicker about it.”

“Mom wanted me to stay warm,” Deuce countered stiffly. “I’m gonna respect that, no matter what.”

Ace rolled his eyes and waves dismissively. “Yeah, yeah, whatever—enough talk, we really gotta get going...!! I’ll be damned if I freeze out here.”

“The Clover Bakery isn’t that far from here, so we don’t need to rush.” Deuce indicated a warm building at the end of the block, which gave off delicious fumes—spun sugar, baked bread, and spices. “Slow and steady wins the race.”

Ace groaned loudly. At this rate, it would take all day for them to waddle on over. He was about to bury his head in his hands when an idea dawned on him.

A mean, but clever, idea.

“Betcha I could make it there faster than you,” Ace chirped, his voice casual.

“It’s not a competition,” Deuce reminded him sternly.

“No one said it was, dummy! I’m just saying I could definitely beat you at your own game.”

“Tough words for someone shaking like a leaf in the cold.”

“Oh yeah?” Ace’s grin was wicked. “Prove me wrong, then.”

“I don’’t have to prove anything. It’d be dangerous to run in this weather, anyway.”

“I bet it’s way more snowy in Pyroxene—and Jack’s probably totally fine with running through it!”

“That’s Jack, and this is me. I said I wasn’t going to rush things, and I meant it.”

“Yeah? Too bad~” The redhead gave an exaggerated sigh and a shrug. “Backing out, huh...? Oh well. Guess if you snooze, you lose...!!”

“Hey, I never said...” Deuce’s voice trailed off, for Ace had shoved by him, darting off in the direction of the bakery. “H-Hey...!! Ace...!! ACE!! GET BACK HERE!!”

He tore after his friend, shouting at him all the while—and Ace, with his (cheating) head start, only laughed in return. Deuce soon caught up (no thanks to his club conditioning), and they were neck-and-neck for first place.

Windchill, knives upon their faces. The biting cold seeped into their lungs, making it hurt to breathe as they hurtled toward their destination. Yet they sailed on, determined to outdo the other.

Both boys launched themselves at the bakery entrance, grasping the handle at the same time.

“EXCUSE US!!” Ace and Deuce yelled in unison, yanking open the door (struggling to cram through the doorway at the same time) and stumbling in.

They were greeted by a blast of warmth and the smells of sweet cakes and toasted breads. The employee manning the counter glanced up, startled at the duo’s sudden appearance. When he saw who it was that had barged in, he sighed and calmly readjusted his glasses.

He looked a little different than usual, wearing a white shirt with green plaid that showed off his broad shoulders. The sleeves were rolled up to reveal thick forearms forged from years of lifting flour sacks and kneading dough. A brown apron was slung over his attire, four-leafed clovers sewn on the pockets.

“If it isn’t Ace and Deuce. How are the two troublemakers of Heartslabyul doing?” Trey asked, his smile lopsided as his underclassmen approached.

“A-Are we really troublemakers in your eyes, Clover-senpai?!”

“I’m just kidding,” he reassured Deuce. “Well, you are troublemakers, but more for Riddle than for me.”

“Geez... thanks for the vote of confidence...” Ace grumbled, casting the third year a cheeky look. “Some senpai you are, huh?”

“Now, now... I’m allowed to have some fun, aren’t I? We’re all ‘off-duty’, so to speak.” Trey said light heartedly. “Anyway, what brings you guys to the Clover Bakery? I’m assuming you’re not dropping by just to say hello.”

“Hehe. Obviously we’re hungry, so we came by for some grub!” Ace held up his index finger. “One large hot chocolate, and a plate of assorted butter cookies for me!”

“I’m okay with a small spiced apple cider,” Deuce chimed in, “please and thank you.”

“Gotcha. I’ll get you your drinks in a bit,” Trey nodded, “but as for the butter cookies, I’m afraid I won’t be able to sell those to you.”

“Huh?” Ace’s face collapsed. “Why not?”

“We’ve only got a few dozen left, and they’re reserved for a client that preordered them. Sorry.” Trey pointed to a neatly wrapped box already set upon the counter, done up in a bright green bow.

Through the plastic window in the box, Ace could see that the cookies had been converted into little sandwiches. Each pair housed a generous dollop of cream, caramelized raisins threaded throughout it.

“What? Who needs that many butter cookies? And why are there gross raisins in them--“

The door to the bakery flung open, summoning a gale of cold once more. A bell suspended above jingled, ringing in a new customer.

“Ah, speak of deville the devil,” Trey said—while his underclassmen balked in terror.

There, in the doorway, was a tall man in black faux leather gloves and a voluminous fur coat—striped, black and white. Beneath that, he boasted a crimson turtle neck and a blazer, half solid white, the other half a black , checkerboard pattern. This, paired with his slicked back hair, steely eyes, and regal face, made him appear as though he had just strutted off the runway, were it not for the leashes he gripped.

Two Dalmatians—one in a blue coat, the other in a red one—stood alert by his feet. They caught Ace and Deuce’s eyes and barked in greeting, but the two boys were far too fixated on the Dalmatians’ owner to gush over dogs.

“Crewel...”

“... Sensei?”

Ace and Deuce glanced to one another, then back at their Alchemy teacher.

“C-CREWEL-SENSEI?!”

“Wh-What’re you doing here?!” Ace demanded, pointing an accusatory finger. “School’s out for winter break...!! You... You didn’t hunt us down to make us do our homework, did you?!”

Crewel snorted. “Spare me your theatrics, Trappola. Your instructors are granted a vacation for the duration of winter break as well. Were you not aware?”

“I-I knew that! I just didn’t know you lived in the Rose Kingdom, too!”

“I thought teachers lived at school...”

“... Seriously, Deuce?!”

“The more you know.” Crewel narrowed his eyes at Ace. “But speaking of homework, I trust you pups are keeping on top of your assignments? Being on break is no excuse to slack on your studies.”

“D-Duh! Of course I haven’t been slacking!” A lie, Ace grimaced, thinking to the piles of homework he had abandoned in his bedroom in favor of hanging out with friends. Whatever, he could just pester his brother for help later. “Right, Deuce? Back me up here!”

“I’ve been diligently studying and working on my homework bit by bit every day, Crewel-sensei!”

“... But have you done it accurately?” Crewel asked, raising an eyebrow. “Simply writing down an answer does not guarantee full marks, Spade.”

“... Errrrrr, okay, maybe I need to work on it a little more.”

“You’ve got your notes and a reliable Science Club member to count on for assistance,” Crewel quipped, gesturing to Trey with a gloved hand. “There is no excuse for why you should not do well. That goes for you as well, Trappola.”

“Y-Yessir!”

“Crewel-sensei, I think that’s enough interrogation,” Trey called, waving for him to come to the counter. Outwardly, he wore a smile, but inwardly, he sighed. For the love of the Great Seven, don’t offer my help for me. “Here, I have your order prepared--oh, but be sure to keep your dogs at the doorway. No pets allowed beyond a certain threshold for health and safety reasons.”

“I am aware, yes.” Crewel’s eyes passed over to the two scared stiff underclassmen. “... Trappola, Spade--come here. Do your professor a favor and tend to my Dalmatians for me.”

“What? You want us to watch your dogs?”

“I’ll do my best, Sensei!!”

“Don’t just blindly agree to it, Deuce!”

“It will only be for a moment,” Crewel insisted, shoving his leashes into Ace and Deuce’s hands. The boys fumbled, but held firm--the Dalmatians eagerly staring up at them.

“... Oi, don’t give me those looks,” Ace grumbled. “You’re... You’re too cute looking and innocent to be Crewel-sensei’s pets.”

The dog in the red coat gave a happy bark, as if pleased with the compliment. Its partner, in the blue coat, panted with delight as Deuce gave it a firm head pat.

Crewel received the box of raisin butter cookies--but allowed his eyes to quickly a scan the glass display case as he strode up. “Do you have dog treats in stock as well?”

“We do.”

“Then add two to my total, please--peanut butter flavor.”

“Alright, you’ve got it.” Trey ducked, retrieved a pair of tongs, and fished out two bone-shaped biscuits. He dropped them into a paper bag and handed them over to his teacher. “That’ll be--”

He was cut off by several bills being fanned out on the counter.

“I’ve ordered enough from your bakery to know the general prices,” Crewel smirked, tucking his wallet away into his massive fur coat. “If there is a discrepancy, you may keep the change.”

“Ah, thanks for that. Hope you and the dogs enjoy--” Trey paused, cut off this time by the sound of several small footsteps from the back room of the bakery. He groaned, already knowing what was coming. “Oh no...”

“Trey-nii!!” A chorus of high-pitched voices piped up, startling Ace and Deuce. “We heard bark-barks!! Did Mr. Fluffy Coat bring back his doggies?”

Three heads of green hair poked above the counter--just barely. One girl and two boys, probably elementary school age, all of them sharing Trey’s mustard yellow eyes.

“Guys, not now. Big bro’s busy with the customers,” Trey warned. He passed an apologetic look to his underclassmen and teacher. “Sorry, my siblings are excitable sometimes.”

“I wanna pet the doggies!”

“I wanna feed’m snackies!”

“I wanna dress them up!”

To the boys’ surprise, Crewel merely chuckled. “No worries. Fellow canine lovers are always welcome.”

“Mr. Fluffy Coat!! Can we feed your doggies?”

“Pretty please with candied violets on top!”

“Please, please, please!!”

Crewel barked with laughter. “Perhaps I can allow it, little ones--permitted that your brother grants his permission.”

All three Clover siblings looked expectantly at their eldest sibling.

Trey heaved a sigh. “... I guess I’ve got no choice. Go ahead.”

Excited squeals filled the interior of the bakery. The Clover siblings nearly tripped over themselves racing over to Crewel’s dogs (they nearly trampled Ace and Deuce’s feet, too).

“Hey, watch it! We’re the ones babysitting these dogs, not you!” Ace cried as the kids descended on the Dalmatians. I’ve only had these dogs for five minutes but if anything happened to them, I’d kill everyone here and then--

“We can share, Ace!”

“Spade is correct. There is plenty of the pups to go around,” Crewel interjected. He produced two dog treats and broke them into smaller pieces, offering them to Ace, Deuce, and the Clover siblings. “Go on, then. One for each of you to feed them.”

The Clovers cheered and eagerly claimed their pieces, holding them out and allowing each Dalmatian to sniff and lick the treats straight out of their palms. As soon as the food was slurped up, the Clovers proceeded to vigorously pet the pups. But the first years hesitated.

“You’re... being awfully nice,” Ace noted, eying him suspiciously. “Are you gonna spring a pop quiz on us as soon as I take the treat?”

“Keep biting the hand that feeds you, and I just might consider it,” Crewel warned with a dark smirk.

“W-We’ll take the treats!” Deuce snatched up two pieces, shoving one into Ace’s hands. “Come on, let’s not worry too much. We’re on winter break, after all. Let’s just relax while we still can.”

“You’re right, you’re right! Let’s not sweat it!”

They exchanged a brief laugh before kneeling and offering up their own dog treat pieces to the Dalmatians. Just as the dogs’ sloppy, wet tongues connected with the boys’ hands, their cell phones went off.

“... Huh? Did you just get a text, Deuce?”

“I think I did. I heard your phone ping too, though. Did you get a text too?”

“I can check. One sec...” With his free hand, Ace fished his phone out of his coat pocket and consulted it. He immediately paled. “Oh, shit.”

(“Hey, language!” Trey shouted--but his protest seemingly went ignored.)

“What’s wrong?” Deuce asked, frowning.

“Check your phone. Check it right now.”

“Is it something seri...” Deuce’s face dropped as soon as he looked at his messages. “Fuck.”

(“I said, language!” Trey tried again, only to be snubbed a second time.)

The distressing text they had received?

SOS SEND HE LP STRAND ED D IN SCAR ABIA CANT GET OUT - Yuu, Grim

Ace and Deuce abruptly stood and bolted toward the exit, much to everyone’s surprise. They paid no mind to the concerned shouts of Trey, nor Crewel, or to the excited barks of Dalmatians no longer held by leashes.

All that remained of where the duo once stood were soggy, half-finished peanut butter dog treats.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL

April 2021 Part 1

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Second Chance Ep 1 - living up to its name since it looks to be a series of redemption arcs. Launched with a college confession and a broken friendship, then a flash back to them as seniors in high school. Pairings include friends to lovers, nerd/jock, and maybe cafe boss/employee. There’s a lot going on, but it’s still... quiet and sweet. The script is pretty pat but it’s still WAY more watchable than Cupid Coach or Brothers and most of the acting is solid. Ep 1 tropes included: he’s in engineering, wound tending, fast & bicurious. This could turn into what I wanted My Gear & Your Gown to be. Fingers crossed. 

Love Poison 2 Ep 1 & 2 turns out I did watch and report on season 1 (8 eps), season 2 seems equally unmemorable. Thai countryside setting, strong dialect, incomprehensible plot, camp side characters, and ghastly singing. 

Y-Destiny Ep 1 (eng subs?) - opened with the sports romance enemies to lovers (they aren’t going in the teaser order). When the couple got over fighting, the flirting was v cute, but the flipping SPONGE BATH trope had to rear its ugly head. Still, this series is shaping up to be less coy and more frank than most BL, better than expected. It feels, I don’t know, gay-er or something?  *** Sources were correct that each couple is getting (at least) 2 eps, and MDL has been updated to say this is a 15 episode series (not 7). 

Cupid Coach 12 fin - The new Nite was great and should have been a main all along. It felt like we got a tiny nugget of what could have been in about 10 minutes worth of this last ep. It was way too slow with terrible editing and a criminally bad script, but at least it ended happy. Mostly, like Friend Forever, I’m just disappointed that these two actors were done dirty by the series. Bad Cupid Coach, no screen caps for you. 

Lovely Writer Ep 6 - breaking news, there’s a het couple I like: toppy bi femme + soft boi = such a good pairing! I know, but this NEVER happens. Meanwhile, Sib’s secret is out, Gene is a bit of a drama queen, and the plot thickens. We half way through.  

Brothers Ep 9 - Kaow had a serious moment of advice giving that was truly lovely. Lots of family dama made this a superior episode to... well... any of the others in this series. Which isn’t saying much. 

1000 Stars Ep 10 fin - at the start this series didn’t grab me the way GMMTV’s last BL, Tonhon Chonlatee, did. But boy did it end 1000x better. Might have given us 2021′s best forehead kiss. I enjoyed the ultra romantic cliff-top reunion kiss, and I LOVED the stinger flirting scene. That was an absolute gift we had no right to expect. This drama is a poster child for finishing on a high note (always focus on that dessert course). Final thoughts? This was FAR more a classic romance than it was BL. There were some BL tropes used but not many and most of them originated in the romance genre not yaoi. A picture perfect ending bumped 1000 Stars much higher up my best-of list than expected. Not sure how often I’ll rewatch it as a whole, but this last episode? I’m probably rewatching it right now. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Dear Uranus (Taiwan GL) Ep 3 fin - I guess that’s it? Okaaaaay  

HIStory 4: Close To You (Taiwan) Ep 3 (AKA Ep 5-6) - we got actual legit gay culture not just BL (always appreciated) from XingSi. I’m starting to find LiCheng’s “show them we fucking” hijinks hilarious rather than annoying (not sure why, maybe I just love a rubber chicken, or maybe it was the STUFFED CORN WITH THE TASSEL that did it). 

-- H4 Moment of RANT --

Tropes included beach trip, there’s only one bed, cook for him, baby is a floppy drunk, carry baby to bed, and.... drunk non-con. Whoopdedoo. Here we go again. Did TharnType teach us NOTHING? (Apparently it taught us if the chemistry is good enough, I have no morals at all.) At least H4 seems to be taking us out of cheese into serious when it comes to assault. Or is it? 

I take back what I said last week about XingSi & YongJie being codependency + salvation trope, that only works if YongJie is the uke. He’s NOT. So we got us an obsessive predatory villain with a possible redemption arc. That’s more common in crime dramas, mafia romance, and epic fantasy than BL. It’s real hard to redeem a sexual predator in a reality-grounded universe like contemporary romance (See Kla in LBC1&2). 

Next week is gonna be a test of the whole damn franchise. Imma remind both me a you that this was ep 3 of 10 so we got a ways to go yet... but ooof, what have we wrought, BL? (I ended up doing a whole post about the stepbrother trope because of this sub plot.) Taiwan is killing me.

-- RANT ended --

Word of Honor (China) Ep 19-21 - over half way point so we got ALL the back story (in a classic 4 act story structure midway reveal). Now we know who WKX really is and his lineage. We also got some cute hugs and hand holds. Moving along at a nice clip despite being 36 eps total. Still gayest thing to come out of we-not-gay China since Advance Bravely. 

Most Peaceful Place (Vietnam) Ep 2 - takes them a while to get eng subs together and ep 2 didn’t drop until late. So I’m putting this in a Thurs time slot going forward. Miscommunication already cleared up and a 2nd couple has been introduced. The pacing on these Vietnamese BLs is always a bit... off. But it’s still better than most of its ilk, enjoyable. I’m thinking it’s a 6 ep arc. 

We Best Love 2 (Taiwan) Ep 5 - after the initial drama DRAMA of ep 2, the current external crisis at work is much quieter, giving this whole season a top heavy feel. Taken along side the first season, I think it’s fitting nicely into a 4 act structure, but that might be my bias. I hope I’m not wrong, we’ll find out next week. Shi De puttering about being domestic with Shu Yi on his back was the best execution of the piggyback trope EVER. Meanwhile, our little D/s side couple of codependency, salvation trope + mental illness is becoming weirdly appealing. I don’t know. H4 done mess with my head. 

Stand Alones 

Absolute BL AKA Zettai BL ni Naru Sekai vs Zettai BL ni Naritakunai Otoko  (Japan) Ep 1-4 mini series. Found subs under A Man Who Defies The World of BL. IT’S HILARIOUS. It’s Japan making fun of us, but also itself for having started this whole BL nonsense - from yaoi roots to present day. It’s parody goddamn gold. Utterly cheeky unto the very last line. We are not worthy. 

Apparently the most powerful tropes of all time are: baby is a floppy drunk and the piggyback fo nobility. Oh and chocolate. {Full review here.} 

Honestly, this show may have been made with only @heretherebedork and I in mind. I don’t know if you’d even understand half of it if you don’t have a history with the manga source genre and an obsessive interest in underlying narrative devices. I haven’t seen much chatter in the blog’o’sphere on this one because, in the end, it’s not a romance at all, it’s social commentary. 

The ending line was a masterclass in lampooning a genre. I’m going to rewatch the whole thing just to catch all the digs I missed first time around. It is a thing of beauty and a joy forever. 

Thank you Japan. I forgive you all your hair-styling sins of the last decade. 

Breaking News 

Spring Line Up:

Scholar Ryu’s Wedding Ceremony AKA Nobleman Ryu’s Wedding (Korean historical BL) April 15th 

Close Friend the series (Thai trailer) April 22. 

2gether the movie (Thai trailer) April 22 to Thai theaters.

Nitiman (Thai) May 7 on One31.

I Told Sunset About You 2 (Thai) May 27 on LineTV

Ossan’s Love (Hong Kong) June to Viu 

Gossip 

Bad Buddies released its first promo op via Arm Share, which means GMMTV is at least *thinking* about filming it. 

Fun behind the scenes gossip sesh with eng subs for Tell the World I Love You (that Perth Bas movie we are maybe getting someday but will likely be sad). 

New Thai BL Bite Me (adapted from novel Grab a Bite) dropped a teaser. It stars Mark Siwat (Kla in LBC) as uke character Ake, a delivery boy with special foodie powers, and chef Eua (seme played by Zung Kidakorn) who discovers him. It’s from the same author as Manner of Death so we might even get some actual plot. Since it’s an established BL actor who I happen LOVE, a known author, and a plot about FOOD, I could not me more excited for this one. 

Next Week Looks Like This:

Some shows may be listed a day later than actual air date for accessibility reasons. Some are dropping multiples at a time but just started so I’m not sure on numbering. 

Upcoming 2021 BL master post here.

Links to watch are provided when possible, ask in a comment if I missed something.

[thechekhov]

Hello! I was wondering if you had reference points, tips, or advice on learning Japanese the right way? I know some words and phrases from watching anime over the years but I know how the language is a bit complicated and with three different ways to write it, I was curious if you had a starting point for someone who wanted to start off slow and not jump in over their head? Thanks!

Heyo. So, I’m going to try to keep this brief because I know I can very easily go off on tangents.

Advice #1 is - although listening to anime dialogue is not bad for listening practice, I would severely recommend NOT using it as source material. Many times, the ‘phrase’ you may pick up from anime is going to be slang, impolite, or just odd. It’s anime dialogue for a reason - it’s not realistic, it’s a cartoon.

Now, where CAN you learn Japanese?

 Well to be honest - start with online resources! How about Duolingo?

https://www.duolingo.com/learn

I have never used it personally, but I just went on there to see what they have available, and it’s actually rather decent! Good for drilling at the very least, and as a starter, it’ll get you the practice you need.

If you want to go deeper, I recommend getting something more solid - like a textbook! If you’re super into learning it, you might get quite far using a textbook and YouTube videos!

For textbooks, I recommend Genki. It’s the most digestible one for beginners. 

I don’t have YouTube channels I know of, but if you know any, please comment!

.

Now... is Japanese really that difficult?

Ehhhh Yes and No? Depends on what angle you look at it from.

You’re right about one thing - Japanese does have 3 separate alphabets. The first of those three is Hiragana. It looks like this:

And good news - it’s phonetic! 

What the heck is ‘phonetic’?

It means one symbol (letter) has one sound. So all you gotta do is memorize which sound goes with which symbol. 

This isn’t difficult. You did this for the latin alphabet. 

Katakana is ALSO phonetic, and it is much like hiragana. There goes another goalpost. No problem.

‘What about the third one???‘ you ask. 

Yeah, okay, fine. That one is kind of a bother. That’s kanji. The difficult thing about kanji is

They’re difficult to write because there’s typically way more complexity to them

There’s like 2000 of them you have to memorize.

They all have multiple pronunciations.

Look at this smug motherfucker. He’s not even the worst one. Kids learn about him in like, first grade.

But honestly, you don’t HAVE to learn all 2000 kanji to say ‘I speak japanese!’. People can fight me about this, I don’t care. I don’t think you need to! I can recognize roughly the first 1000 with relative ease, but still struggle with the more high-level ones. And guess what? I can still say I speak Japanese. Because... I do. 

You technically don’t need to learn kanji right away. Forget about them! Wait until you have a better grasp of the language. Use hiragana and katakana first. Then, once you have the basics, you can explore kanji. And there’s apps for that. 

Now, you may have seen this ‘terrifying’ post going around on Twitter and Tumblr:

And honestly, although at first I was really amused by the mapping of english word order onto other languages, after a while people’s terror gets boring. 

Japanese isn’t difficult because of its word order! 

Yes, most languages have different word order. And yes, when you take many lines and cross them many times, you get scary-looking complexity. Or rather, the illusion of complexity. 

But realistically, Japanese word order is more flexible than English word order. And - again people can fight me on this but - Japanese grammar is actually way more straightforward and clean than English grammar! If you want to complain about grammar, complain about RUSSIAN! OR FINNISH!! You have my condolences on that front. But Japanese? No way. It’s clean-cut and elegant.

Side-note: Japanese learners - DON’T come at me with keigo, I don’t care. Keigo (respectful language form in Japanese) is, like everything, a matter of memorization. Yeah it’s complex and full of weird arbitrary rules, but plenty of Japanese people still struggle with it. Which means it’s ok for YOU to struggle with it too.  

And wow, okay, yep, I went off on a tangent...

TL;DR:

How can you learn Japanese?

Use Duolingo. Memorize hiragana and katakana alphabets. Supplement with texbooks and YouTube. Go to school for it. Go abroad. Find a buddy to practice with. There are apps to meet Japanese people who want to learn English, and you can do language exchange over text or voice. 

Is Japanese difficult? 

No. Kanji is difficult. Japanese pronunciation and grammar is relatively straightforward for English speakers. Sure, there will be difficulties. It’s a whole ass other language! But it’s not impossible. Not with the right attitude. :) 

Happy learning!

[pollylynn]

Title: Canzonetta WC: 1000 Episode: To Love and Die in L.A. (3 x 22)

She recognizes the woman running the emotional obstacle course in the alley. She isn’t that woman—she thinks she hasn’t been that woman for a while now—but she recognizes each and every move. Everyone in that alley recognizes her moves. Everyone is resigned to how things must play out, though some go more quietly than others.

With the Captain, it’s easy. She hides behind the badge. She keeps her affect absolutely flat. Royce is nothing but another DB. She is here to do nothing but the job, and he has no answer for that. Not yet.

Lanie is another matter. Her eyes well with the tears this woman would never allow herself, even though she knows better than to let them fall. She knows that the work comes first, and so she speaks. She schools her features and relays the gruesome details of how Mike Royce died on his belly.

She hands over the boarding pass first, and then with a wealth of mercy and the bare minimum of fanfare, she hands over the letter, knowing full well that this woman will not read it, not beyond an emotionless scan of the first few lines to confirm that it has nothing to do with the next move and the next. It has nothing to do with the work. For the woman in the alley, it might as well not exist.

The boys are easy, too. They keep their heads down. They come to her with the fruits of their labor. They produce the murder weapon and the story told by what is and isn’t there. Ammunition, no. Threading on the barrel, a silencer, yes. Each of them risks one and only one lie—Ryan’s assurance that all their work will surely get their man, Esposito’s absurd fiction about New York and New Yorkers—before falling quiet.

And then, weaving in and out of everyone who has surrendered to this woman—chasing her through the emotional obstacle course—there is Castle. He takes the hand-off from the Captain and behaves as though he does not recognize this woman. He behaves as though he is not at all resigned to her presence or to the damage she is so willing to do in service of the almighty work.

He appeals to the memories she will carry, to her peace of mind in every moment after this one, to the heart that will need mending after the work is done. For his trouble, the woman offers the image of her own body lying just a few feet off at the end of a lurid trail of blood. This woman who she is not—this woman charged with running this particular emotional obstacle course—offers it knowing how it will haunt him, how his mind will paint it in shockingly vivid words, over and over again.

But she’s not long for the world, this woman from the alley. There are cracks in the facade before the work even moves on from there, and once they have a lead—a solid lead that demands bold action—her time is over. She is exposed, and another persona—another someone else she isn’t—takes the wheel.

It’s Rebel Bex now. It’s accelerating regression, dangerous and maybe inevitable. Someone she loved is dead in an alley, the victim of something larger than a random, wayward event. What can she do but watch as this woman—this girl—who she isn’t rushes headlong, burning bridges behind her? What can anyone do—the Captain, the boys, Lanie?

What can he do?

Rick Castle, millionaire playboy has the answer. It’s Rick Castle, millionaire playboy who shows up, champagne in hand, to rescue her from five hours in coach. He dangles Ferrari keys and throws open the doors to an extravagant four-star suite, even as he bats his eyelashes behind six-hundred-dollar sunglasses and declares his intentions to be pure.

Rick Castle, millionaire playboy, is as much a threat to Rebel Bex as she is to him. He’s titillated by her lock picks and her insouciant flair when it comes to a good, old-fashioned B&E. She doesn’t bother to hide her own cat-like grin when he cracks wise when the Captain tries to order them home. And they’re both up for a little role play with Reggie, with Ganz.

Rebel Bex plus Rick Castle, millionaire playboy, just might be a recipe for mutually assured destruction.

It seems that way as they hurtle toward the moment back at the suite. With most of a bottle of wine in them, they are closer than they ought to be. They are closer than they ever are when she is not Rebel Bex, when he is not Rick Castle, millionaire playboy. It’s intoxicating and dangerous. It is the end of her—the woman she is and the woman she is becoming—so near that she can taste it as surely as salt on the ocean air.

They hurtle toward the moment, and Rebel Bex in all her grief—in the burn-it-all-down fury of two murders, two alleys, two agonies far bigger than any random, wayward event—welcomes it. Rick Castle, millionaire playboy, certainly welcomes it, too, doesn’t he?

She doesn’t know. She will never know. She—the woman she is and the woman she is becoming—surfaces. She rises and resists the weight of her name when he speaks it.

Kate, he says. He calls after her—he, himself. Not Rick Castle, millionaire playboy. Kate.

She resists. She doesn’t answer to the name. It has not been hers since the alley. It has never yet been hers, the name of the woman he sees, he knows. And all she can do for now is go, is turn resolutely to face him at the door. Good night, Castle.

It’s all she can do, but she’d give almost anything to be the woman he is calling after. She’d give almost anything for the name to be hers.

Kate.

A/N: So Rebel Bex + Millionaire Playboy—there will never be anything with less morphousness.

images via homeofthenutty