#by doing things. taking steps. improving and practising

[missdollcouture]

NEW YEAR, NEW ME

this is a collab w the it girl @prettieinpink !!

HABITS TO IMPLEMENT 

Movement (yoga, running, Pilates, walking, gym, etc. Anything that allows you to move your body 

Reflection- make a note of things you would like to improve on. This could be self-love, relationships, 

STAY CONSISTENT

Consistency is key. Make sure to stick to your plan and keep working towards your goals every day. Even small steps are progress. Try to make your goal part of your daily routine. 

HOW TO STAY CONSISTENT 

SCHEDULE- Setting schedules helps really well with consistency. Make a schedule for the tasks you need to do daily or weekly to achieve your goals. This can help you make your goals a part of your routine, making it easier to stay consistent.

STAY ORGANIZED- Keep track of your tasks and goals. Use tools like calendars, to-do lists, or apps to help you stay organized and remember what you need to do.

DISCIPLINE YOURSELF- Sometimes, you won't feel like working towards your goals, and that's okay. The key is to maintain discipline and do the task anyway. Remember, consistency is about doing the task regularly, not just when you feel like it.

START SMALL- Don't overwhelm yourself with huge tasks. Start small and gradually increase your workload as you build consistency.

DON’T BE TOO HARD ON YOURSELF- If you miss a day, don't beat yourself up. Instead, acknowledge that it happened, understand why, and move on. Consistency is about long-term progress, not perfection.

CREATE A PLAN

Once you know what your goals are, create a step-by-step plan on how to achieve them. Break down each goal into smaller, manageable tasks. This might involve creating a timeline, setting deadlines, or identifying resources or tools you might need.

LEAVE THINGS IN THE PAST 

In 2023, I’m sure everyone has had ups and downs, but not letting them define you as a person is something that has to be done in order for you to become a new person.

HOW TO LEAVE THINGS IN THE PAST

ACCEPTANCE-  Acknowledge the past and accept it as part of your life story. Understand that it's something that has shaped you but doesn't define you.

FORGIVENESS- Forgive yourself and others. Holding onto resentment only harms you. Letting go of grudges can bring a sense of peace and open up space for healthier relationships.

LEARN FROM IT- Every experience, good or bad, is an opportunity to learn. Reflect on these experiences and use them as stepping stones to better decisions in the future.

FOCUS ON THE PRESENT- The past is unchangeable, but the present is in your control. Concentrate on what you can do now to create a positive future.

SET NEW GOALS- Create new objectives for yourself. This gives you something to work towards and helps shift your focus from the past to the future.

PRACTISE MINDFULNESS- Mindfulness is about staying focused on the present moment. Practices like meditation can help you stay grounded and prevent you from dwelling on the past.

ADJUST YOUR PLAN AS NEEDED

It's okay if your initial plan doesn't work out exactly as you thought. Life happens, and it's important to be flexible and adapt your plan as needed. If you find that a certain approach isn't working, don't be afraid to try something different.

PRACTICE SELF CARE

Remember to take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally. This can include things like getting enough sleep, eating healthy, exercising regularly, and taking time to relax and do things you enjoy. Don't forget that self-care is an important part of reaching your goals.

WAYS TO PRACTICE SELF CARE-

BALANCED DIET-  There is no need to restrict yourself from foods but eating a healthy, balanced diet is crucial for maintaining physical health. Try to include plenty of fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and whole grains in your diet.

EXERCISE REGULARLY- Regular physical activity can help reduce stress, improve mood, and boost overall health. This doesn't necessarily mean going to the gym - it could be anything from a brisk walk to a yoga class

GET ENOUGH SLEEP-  Aim for 7-9 hours of sleep per night. Establish a regular sleep schedule and create a relaxing bedtime routine to improve sleep quality.

STAY HYDRATED-  Drinking enough water each day is important for overall health. Try to aim for at least 8 glasses per day.

TAKE BREAKS- Make sure to take regular breaks throughout the day, especially if you're working or studying. This can help prevent burnout and improve productivity.

DO THINGS YOU ENJOY- Make time for hobbies or activities you enjoy. This could be anything from reading a book to playing a sport to painting. 

  CELEBRATE SMALL THINGS

Don't wait until you've reached your big goal to celebrate. Celebrate small wins along the way to keep your motivation high. This could be treating yourself to something you enjoy, or simply taking a moment to acknowledge your achievement.

REFLECTING ON THE PAST YEAR

Think about how the past year went. Did you learn anything? Did you reach new goals? If you don't the answers to these questions, I recommend further examining your year!!

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Writing Notes: Constructive Criticism

Dale Carnegie's 9-step guide

Begin with praise and honest appreciation. Carnegie believes, 'Beginning with praise is like the dentist who begins his work with Novocain. The patient still gets a drilling but the Novocain is pain killing.'

Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly. Carnegie suggests that we substitute 'but' for 'and'. He uses an example, 'We're really proud of you for raising your grades this term, and by continuing the same efforts next term, your algebra grade can be up with all the others.' Here, we have called attention to the behaviour we wish to change indirectly, and the chances are the person will try and live up to our expectations.

Talk about your own mistakes before criticising the other person. If you do have to highlight someone's faults, you should do so humbly. If the person criticising begins by admitting the fact that they themselves are far from perfect it will be less difficult to listen to a recital of your own faults.

Ask questions instead of giving direct orders. By asking questions you often stimulate the creativity of others. Carnegie believes that, 'People are more likely to accept an order if they have had a part in the decision that caused the order to be issued.'

Let the other person save face. The importance of allowing someone to save face can't be underestimated. Too often people 'ride roughshod over the feelings of others, getting our own way, finding fault, issuing threats, criticising a child or an employee in front of others, without even considering the hurt to the other person's pride.' If we considered the other person’s feelings it would go a long way in alleviating the sting.

Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. We should take the opportunity to praise even the smallest improvement in ability. By doing so it inspires the other person to make a continued effort and to keep on improving. Carnegie writes, 'Abilities wither under criticism; they blossom under encouragement.'

Give the other person a reputation to live up to. If there is a certain area in which you wish someone to improve, Carnegie believes you should act as though that particular trait was already one of his or her outstanding characteristics. If you give them a reputation to live up to, they will make a determined effort rather than see you let down. 

Use encouragement, make the fault seem easy to correct. Be liberal with your encouragement, let the other person know that you believe in their ability to take the required action and that the necessary changes are easy to carry out. By doing so they will be more inclined to practise and they will not see the problem as insurmountable.

Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest. Ultimately, people are often motivated by personal gain. Concentrate on the benefits to the other person and be empathetic. Ask yourself what it is that the other person really wants and convey to them that they will personally benefit from taking action. 

Source ⚜ More: References ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs

[equippedtolove]

so, 2025 doesn't seem like the year for our environment. but what can you, as an individual, and we, as a group, do in the face of denial?

please like, reblog, and share.

as donald trump takes office in 2025, he brings with him his ignorance of climate change. the government in the usa will now do nothing to reduce their carbon emissions, and whether you're republican or democratic or not even american, this event will affect you and the generations to come.

so... how can we make a difference?

as individuals, this seems like too big a problem to tackle. but we, the people, can make the biggest change. women's voting and gay rights did not start when governments started listening to what people were saying. they started when people took to the streets in protest, demanding better policies, better laws, better futures. if we work together, we can make a difference.

some steps you can take to reduce your carbon emissions:

eat locally grown/produced food. this encourages sustainable practises of farming, reduces the need for fuel-based transportation, and generates less pollution.

eat less meat, particularly lamb and beef. livestock generally produces a large amount of methane, which is a particularly harmful greenhouse gas. in especially more intensive farms, crops and trees are often cut down to make way for the large amounts of land that we need to raise animals.

take public transport, or even walk to places. this reduces your carbon emissions by miles, and often is a reason for you to improve your physical health. this is also much more economically sustainable for you, with fuel prices rising as companies make record profits drilling into our home.

these individual solutions are not only doable, but also cost effective. this is very much your world, and we, the future generation, can do all we can to reduce the harmful legacy we're inheriting.

if you and a group of people, families or friends or whole communities, are passionate about what is happening to our earth, here's some things that require a group effort:

try to get your family talking about other, renewable sources of energy for your home, or better insulation. conserving energy and generating it from endless sources are a fantastic way to reduce your carbon footprint and take action against climate change. and once you do it, convince others to do the same.

volunteer at cleanups. live in a littered area? see rubbish at the beach? organise something with family or friends to help clean it up! working as a group will increase morale and ultimately get the job done, and the next time you look at that place, you'll feel a sense of satisfaction as a reward. you may even make it a open event, and meet new people who have the same beliefs as you along the way.

recycle, reuse, and give. this seems obvious, but over-consumption is almost trendy today, as fast fashion takes the stage to triumph more sustainable ways of clothing. swap clothes with your friends, donate old clothes to charity, even buy secondhand, but all of these things are pre-loved and extremely helpful for the environment. additionally, using things until they can't be used anymore is an underrated yet effective (and cost effective!) way of doing nothing while doing a lot.

it's not too late, not for america, and not for the rest of the world. there are people all over the globe showing others how to be kinder to our earth, and when the people in charge won't, we will. it's time to make 2025 the year of change. it's time to start fighting for our futures and uniting under a common cause. what affects the poor today will affect the rich tomorrow, and you will feel the impact of rising sea levels and deforestation and global warming in no time. this is no 'old arguement'. this is an international emergency. we will not be dismissed; we will not do nothing.

in the words of greta thunberg, change is coming, whether you like it or not.

[mrghostrat]

Hey bilv, it turns out I can't write plot no matter how many days I spend chewing on it, so I'll toss this in your ask box instead of writing you a speculative ficlet about it:

Who do you think would be more likely to get in trouble by the other seeing their incriminating text messages? We see enough of Crowley's texts to know it would be mortifying if Aziraphale ever saw them, but he might also be tech savvy enough to keep them from showing up on his lockscreen. Aziraphale doesn't have as many ongoing rants to hide, but we do know that he can read his Discord messages without unlocking his phone. Or are both our protagonists still equally ineffably idiotic as humans as they were as supernatural beings, and they'd both be screwed if they left their phone out to charge?

(Bonus question so I can picture the omake comic in my head: Would they flush fire red or freeze in shock if their texts were seen?)

ohhhh oh i love that your mind has gone here 😭 the temptation i had for aziraphale to see something on crowley’s phone in that last chapter 😭

crowley would go red as a tomato, start to dive over to snatch the phone out of aziraphale’s hand, but catch himself and snap back after 1 step. and he’d stand there leaning against the nearest surface in an over exaggeration of casualness so he doesn’t incriminate himself. then take the runners up trophy for improv acting, by denying and twisting whatever is on that screen, claiming it’s all part of the act or — OOH, he was just practising with anathema, in case things went south, or someone started questioning their setup. yeah. yeah that sounds good. he’ll never know.

aziraphale wouldn’t think so far ahead. he’d drop whatever he’s holding, expensive or liquid or otherwise, to try and snatch it off him. and crowley would put up a fight, but whether or not he actually gets the phone off him is irrelevant because that reaction totally wasn’t suspicious at aaaaaall aziraphale. cue an extremely heavy awkward silence as aziraphale pins his phone to his chest and crowley just stares at it.

but fffhh honestly, if either of them saw their phones, it would probably solve a lot more issues than it’d cause.

[kvhasproblems]

Bite The Hand - Van Palmer X Reader

Chapter 1

chapter 2, masterlist

Summery: This story is just going to follow the plot of yellowjackets with a reader insert. The first chapter takes place about a week before the crash.

Warnings: reader has like serious comphet and eternalized homophobia for the first bit of this, reader also has religious trauma and shity parents (who even has good parents in this show lmao), regular yellowjackets violence, this is also gonna be like the slowest of slow burns

A/N: I only played Timbit’s soccer when i was super young so please just ignore if any of the soccer stuff is wrong, I also have no idea when I will post chapter 2 of this because I’m moving out in 2 weeks so between packing and moving to live by myself I might not have a lot of time, but I’m planning to post this once I have half of the second chapter written.

Word count: 2300

Chapter 1

"Oooooo, right into my hands. Again." Van bragged with her crooked smile.

I found myself staring, even though I tried not to. Her gorgeous red hair and that perfect smile and- I need to focus. Coach has been on my ass all week about improving this specific goal-scoring technique, so I asked Van to meet 30 minutes before practice to work on it and warm up because, god forbid she doesn’t get her perfect warm-up in.

“Well, maybe if you stopped being so good, then I’d be able to score on you." I huff back.

"Your shoulders are a dead giveaway in your fake-out. You have to avoid twisting so much."

"I’d like to see you try," I say, my hands finding my hips with a grin on my face.

"I’d like to see you in goal; how about that?" She challenges back with that smile. Again, that smile that just makes my heart flutter deep in my chest no matter how much I try to ignore it, "Now try again; this time try to remain aligned and grounded before you make the kick."

I line up and go for it, watching as the ball sails through the air and nestles into the net right in the corner just before Van is able to reach it.

"YES!" A thrill of excitement shot through me once I realized I had made the shot. I rush to Van, and she opens her arms before I leap at her for a hug. Her arms wrap around me tightly, safe and warm. I can feel my heart racing in my chest as Van’s eyes find mine. Her eyes fall to my lips, and for a moment, Van is the only thing that exists in this world; all other concerns disappear. As my lips part in anticipation of a kiss, I start to lean in. But my mother's voice in the back of my head pulls me back to reality.

"Van… I can’t." I whisper while pulling out of her embrace. Instant hurt flashed deep across her face.

"Ok," she said, giving me a tight-lipped smile. "Let’s just keep practising," she said while looking like a wounded puppy.

"Van… we have to stop doing this; it’s wrong." I sighed. 

"We are just practising; I don’t see what the issue is," she deflected with a heavy sigh.

"You know what I’m talking about I can’t keep- "

"You can’t keep what? Acting like you feel the same and then bailing out and making me feel like I’m an idiot for liking you." She breathed out, exasperated.

"You don’t like me; girls like boys that’s just how it is."

She scoffed, throwing up her hands in berating surrender. "Wow… ok then."

"Don’t be like that." I protested.

"like what"

"All... I don’t know," you jester to her with your hands. "Angry with me!"

"I’m not angry-"

"Then why are you acting like this?"

"Me! Why am I acting like this?" She ran her hand down her face. "God Y/n, you kissed me at that party, and you just expect me to forget about it!"

"I already told you it was a mistake!" I rushed out with tears threatening to fill my eyes. The blow hit Van dead in the chest, and she physically had to take a step back. Regret flashes through me the moment I see her face.

A heavy silence filled the space between us as I struggled for something to say.

"Look I-"

"Save it" 

"No Van-"

"I said save it." She huffed while turning and beginning to walk off the pitch.

Van, you don’t get it," I called after her while following her to the changing rooms. "My parents would kill me."

"And you think my mom wouldn’t?" She whipped around to face you.

I took in a shaky breath.

"Look, forget I said anything. You were right; this was a mistake." Van snapped before storming off into the changing room.

I stood there, trying to process what just happened. Fat tears rolled down my face as I tried to get my bearings on my emotions. This is for the better. I’m not supposed to like girls like this. But I still couldn’t shake the deep ache in my chest.

I took a moment to collect myself before walking into the changing room. A deep shame was starting to bloom in my chest. From what, I wasn’t sure what it was—maybe it was hurting Van or disappointing my parents, or being hurt by the same comment I made. Maybe it was all of it.

As I entered, I heard Jackie laughing and talking loudly to Shauna, who was trying to braid her hair before she gave up and just put it in a ponytail. I took this as my moment to just sneak by. I don’t think I can deal with Jackie’s insane positivity right now.

"Oh hey, Y/n!" Jackie called 

Shit.

"Hey Jackie, Shauna." I answered. Shauna waved at me with a small smile before going back to getting ready.

"You’re here early," Jackie said.

"Um yeah, I and Van came to get some extra practice in; I was working on that scoring technique so you and coach could finally stop bugging me." I added an attempt at a laugh at the end, but my heart wasn’t in it, not that Jackie seemed to notice.

"Well, that’s great anyways-" I tune out the rest, nodding and smiling when I need to, as I apply some extra deodorant and make sure I’m ready for today's actual practice.

The other girls slowly trickled into the changing room. I keep sweeping the room with my eyes, expecting to see Van, but I can't find her anywhere. The guilt from earlier keeps eating at me, making me feel sick to my stomach. If regionals weren’t right around the corner, I might have feigned ill and gone home. Not that being home would make me feel any better.

"Y/n… Y/N!" Jackie practically yelled in my face. "Hello earth to Y/n"

"I- sorry." 

"I was just saying that if we win the regional match, we should rally the team and get ice cream or something. Anyway, practice time." Jackie patted me on the shoulder, like she was ushering me forward.

"HEY EVERYONE! Make your way to the pitch! This is our last practice before regionals, and I wanna see hard work, determination, and good technique today. Jackie preached before giving her classic smile and walking out.

I followed slightly sluggish, I still haven’t seen Van since we came inside.

Nat ran up, bumping my shoulder playfully with hers. "Hey, you see Van? Woah, you good? You look like-" 

"I'm fine, and no, I haven't." I push past her to make my way to the pitch.

"Ok then.." Nat rolled her eyes as I walked away.

"Yellowjackets! Come on, hurry up!" Coach Martinez clapped his hands loudly, trying to rush us along. Despite his protests, we gathered rather slowly around him. "Take a knee, so today we are going to be running drills and going through specific plays-" He continued to ramble on about the specifics of today's practice.

"Hey," Tai whispered to me. "Where’s Van?"

"God, why does everyone keep asking me that?" I mumbled back.

"I thought you guys came early to practice."

“We did but-”

"Hey, ladies! Knock it off; I want full focus!" Coach snapped at us before continuing his rambling.

Tai waited a moment before speaking again in a hushed voice, trying to avoid Coach’s attention.

"If you guys came early, then why isn’t she here?"

"I don’t know." I huffed, getting annoyed with this conversation.

"Did she tell you where she was going or-"

"No, Tai, she didn’t. I -" 

"LADIES! Last warning, or you’re going to be running 2 miles after practice today." Coach barked angrily, clearly done with being interrupted. He gave us a final warning glare before he continued his speech.

A few moments later, Van came out of the change room. We made brief eye contact, and she walked right past me to sit on the other side of the group, the farthest from where I was kneeling. Van always sits beside me and Tai. The worried and speculative eyes of our team members had silent conversations, trying to figure out what was going on.

"Palmer, nice of you to show up!" Coach joked, clearly not amused. "Laura Lee, catch Van up! Let’s start with warm-up laps! Everyone up!" 

I stand up, and quiet chatter begins amongst the group. As we walk to the edge of the pitch, they group off and talk in hushed voices while looking back at Van and I. I try to ignore them even though it feels like I can feel their stares digging into me, tearing me apart, and discovering all my secrets. I just start running to hopefully avoid thinking about it so much. I almost ran up to Van to talk to her about it before I remembered what got me into this situation in the first place. I just continue my laps.

"Sooo, you gonna tell me what’s going on?" Nat jogged up beside me. "And don’t say nothing because I think that was the most awkward thing I’ve ever seen in my life."

"We just… had a disagreement, that’s all."

"A disagreement? Really?" She looked at me, her stare feeling like it was picking me apart, so I focus on the field in front of me.

"Must have been one hell of a disagreement."

"Just leave it, Nat." I huff back.

"Alright alright."

I push my pace so I wouldn’t have to run beside her. I hate all these questions, I hate feeling guilty, and most of all, I hate that Van won’t talk to me. The laps seemed to take an almost unbearable amount of time; I forgot how boring warm-up laps are without Van trying to make me laugh. I find myself missing more than ever how she looks at me like I’m the only thing that matters in the whole world and how she gets so distracted by what I’m saying that she even crashed into Allie that one time. I allow myself the luxury of daydreaming while I run, even though my stomach churns slightly at the thought of what my mom would do if she knew what I was thinking.

Our next section of warmup is strength training before stretching. Coach had us participate in a totally “wonderful” array of exercises.

"Ok, final conditioning exercise for today: partner sit-ups! Find a partner! Quickly," Coach barked. I scanned the team for my go-to partner just to see her pair up with Tai. My heart sinks in my chest.

"Hey, Y/n partner with me?" Lottie spoke softly with a kind, knowing smile.

"Of course, wanna go first?" I ask, returning a sort of smile.

"Sure." Lottie got ready to do the sit-ups while I held her feet on the ground. She completed her first set before speaking.

"So do you wanna talk about it?"

"I’m not sure there’s much to talk about."

"I’m not sure I believe you…" she protested. I sighed in response. "But if you change your mind, you can come over later; we can make cookies."

"Cookies sound good, plus I have nothing else to do after practice; my parents have some fancy gala to attend to impress some investors," I said, rolling my eyes. Lottie and I met a year before we ended up at the same school together at one of those fancy galas. Neither of our parents seemed to care what we were doing as long as we were well-behaved. Ever since then, we have become friends, spending time together to make up for the fact that no one is ever really around at home.

After we stretched, we moved on to drills before Coach said, "Ok, kids, scrimmage time. Misty will split you into groups."

"Coach… We should say a prayer." Laura Lee suggests acting almost surprised that Coach didn’t suggest it himself.

He just gruffed out an ok and let Laura Lee take the lead.

"Lord," she prayed, clasping her hands together. "To you, we pray; we come asking for your guidance during our practice. Please lend us your strength and courage to make right in your eyes. Amen."

 "Amen," the group echoed.

'Make right in your eyes.’ The words bounced around my skull like a ping pong ball as I take my place as Left Back. What was right in God’s eyes? Was it following my parents beliefs, being the perfect student, the perfect soccer player, the perfect girl who marries the perfect boy and has perfect children with a perfect house?

Coach’s whistle rang loud, and the scrimmage started. I jumped into action, despite my spiralling thoughts. I threw myself headfirst into the game. If soccer was good for one thing, it was making my brain feel quiet. It was the one place where I could just be myself.

This scrimmage was played with small teams so despite having Left Back as my usual assigned position, this play required me to play more forward was as my usual assigned position, Tai yelled to Allie, signalling her intentions to pass I knew this was my chance. As Tai made the pass, I scooped the ball from Allie's right, knowing that’s her weak side. Tai’s angry yells were faint as I sprinted up the field on a breakaway. Now was my chance. I lined myself up square and grounded myself before slamming the ball into the right corner of the net. Right passed Van. 

I did it!

I fucking did it!

The wide smile on my face matched Van’s in celebration before the rush of how our "disagreement" started in the first place came to the forefront of her mind. I saw her smile fall before Coach’s calls drew me back towards the other side of the field. I turned back briefly to see a look on Van’s face I couldn’t quite decipher. 

[sisterofsomeone]

Self Destruction

Summary: Lee Seokmin. No words could describe your love for him, how your heart raced when he was near. But you two were growing apart, his eyes and hands wandering away from yours. Now you harboured a growing hatred for the man you once loved so dearly, and as much as you wanted it to stop growing, he just kept adding fuel to the fire.

Warnings: toxic!Seokmin x toxic!fem!reader, slight Wonwoo x reader, established relationship, lovers to enemies to ???, ANGST!!!, swearing, cheating, smut MDNI 18+, unprotected sex, pet names (baby girl, pretty girl), oral sex (male receiving)

Word count: 2.4K

Author's note: Hello again! I have been on hiatus for over a year now, and have needed it honestly. But I'm back for a little while at least, and forcing myself out of hiatus by posting my first ever Seventeen fic. Honestly, it hasn't been proof read and I cannot promise it's any good, but here it is! Self Destruction is loosely inspired by a Shinso fic I wrote in 2021 called Just Kill Me (I've deleted my old masterlist but it's still rolling around on my blog if anyone wants to read it) and a line from Fight Club, "Self Improvement is masturbation, but self destruction..." and mainly fuelled by my current need for angst. Anyway, I won't hold you any longer, please enjoy my Seokmin fic Self Destruction!

This is a work of fiction and in no way is meant to represent the actions, ideals, or attitude of the idol Lee Seokmin.

Your footsteps were almost silent against the hardwood floors, soft patters competing against the roaring rain hurling into the windows. The sky was grey, covered over with heavy swollen clouds just unleashing their pain onto the world. Lighting your cigarette and taking a long, painful drag right into your lungs, you realised you could relate.

Seokmin was bent over the sink, the remnants of last night's attempt at a civilised dinner left abandoned by you both in the heat of the moment. He was attempting to patch things up again. Your arms snaked their way around his waist, fingers dancing across his stomach as you pushed your chest against his back. He stiffened, fingers halting in their quest to find the missing piece of smashed china and came to intertwine with yours.

"Did she taste as good as I do?" You punctuated the sentence with a kiss between his shoulder blades. He punctuated each word with an almost imperceptible tightening of his grip on your fingers.

"I don't know what you're talking about baby." He turned in your arms, the smile on his face not reaching his eyes. Your own smile faded, eyes scanning his features. Your chest ached. It was as if deep vines were carving and creeping their way through your lungs, forcing the oxygen out. "Who have I apparently been tasting?" He brought your hands in front of your face, his fingers still interlaced with yours. He kissed each one of your purple knuckles softly, eyes watching for any sign of discomfort.

"Seokmin, don't lie to me. I can't take it anymore. Seungcheol saw you. He caught you fucking her in the practise room." Your eyes dipped to his lips still pressed against the knuckle of your recently decorated ring finger. His own flickered up to meet yours, a brown hue you used to feel safe in, now you only wanted him to keep that brown far away from you.

"You're disgusting, you know that?" You pulled your hands away, stepping backwards. He only followed, his larger hands reaching for yours again.

"Baby-"

"Do not baby me." Turning on your heel, you left him alone again. Like you always did, before he could do the same to you.

The next morning Seokmin left you in that large, cold bed without so much as a word of goodbye. But you wouldn’t be alone for long.

Your breath escaped you as Wonwoo bullied his cock into you again and again. The grip he held on the back of your thighs as he folded you into a mating press was bruising. The sickening sound of skin hitting skin as he pounded your body further into your and Seokmin’s shared bed echoing through the room. You captured his lips with yours, carving red claw marks down his back as his hand left your thigh and slipped between your bodies to rub circles into your clit.

“I’m not going to last much longer.” He said between kisses.

“Then fuck me harder and make me cum quicker.”

“Watch that dirty mouth of yours or I won’t let you cum at all.” His tongue was back in your mouth, fighting for dominance against your own as he sped up his fingers against your throbbing clit and angled his hips to hit that spot inside of you that had you seeing stars. The air was hot, you could barely breathe, and Wonwoo pulled his mouth from yours in favour of burrowing his face in the space between your neck and your shoulder. Your end came before his, your walls fluttering and tightening around his cock, trying to milk him dry. He followed soon after, pulling out and painting your stomach. It was always in this moment that you wished you could end things with Wonwoo. Wished that you could trust Seokmin to never cheat on you again, to be with him like this and only him. But until he learned to keep it in his trousers, you wouldn’t keep it in yours. And Wonwoo was always more than willing to indulge you. He stood from the bed, grabbing a tissue box from your ensuite and throwing it at you. This moment also always passed in silence. You didn’t need words of comfort from Wonwoo or aftercare, you got what you wanted and so did he. All that was left to do now was hide the evidence.

Seokmin came home early from practise that evening, saying something about Seungcheol not wanting him to be there until this was sorted out. You laughed at that, a short harsh sound pushing it way out of your lungs. You pushed the plate of food towards him, and he thanked you quietly. Dinners used to be filled with laughter, talking about your future together. Now they mainly passed in silence, with the occasional screaming match thrown in.

“Wonwoo was late to practise again today.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, covered in fresh scratch marks from his new secret girlfriend. Chan was making fun of him all while I was there.” You nodded along, pushing the food around on your plate. He stood, taking his plate and placing it into the sink. The accusation was clear but left unspoken.

Seokmin spent the evening draining your liquor cabinet as you watched and occasionally joined him. He was quiet, usually a tall ask for the man, but tonight he couldn’t muster up the courage to say the words he wanted to say. I hate the thought of you and him. Him and you. You belong to me. You whore. You harlot, you liar. I wish I had never met you. I wish I could leave you. I wish –

Your own thoughts were swirling around your head like dark clouds. Painful, heavy things that took all your willpower to ignore. You wanted to confront him again, but just a glance at the hole you’d left in the wall last time and your slowly healing knuckles halted that idea. You wanted so desperately to be able to fall into his arms again, but it wasn’t meant to be. The very idea brought tears to your eyes, a common occurrence after you’d indulged your more painful thoughts. Seokmin noticed this, he always did, but unlike all those other times he moved to you. He pulled you onto the sofa with him, wrapping his strong arms around you and pulling you close. His thoughts stopped at this exact moment, all hatred he harboured for you falling from him like the tears from your eyes. He shushed you, pressing soft kisses across your face.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for betraying you like that again my pretty girl.”

“I’m sorry too. I don’t know what came over me.” He kissed you deeper this time, with more passion than he has done for the past few months. You pulled him closer by his collar, silently begging for more. He pulled away, scanning for any sign of hesitation before taking you in his arms and carrying you to the bedroom.

The sheets were clean from the day. The tissue box was back in the ensuite.

He threw you onto the bed before climbing on top of you and pressing kisses across your collarbones. Your hands found the straps of your shirt and pulled them down, allowing him more access to your burning skin. His kisses were sloppy, full of a fire that you never wanted to extinguish. His hands caressed your body, tracing lines from your thighs to your hips, then climbing to cup your breasts through your shirt. You moaned softly, encouraging him to dip his fingers beneath the material of your shirt and unclasp your bra. His mouth found yours again as you undressed underneath him, allowing his hands to have free roam over your breasts, to play with you and draw out those noises he so loved.

Noises that Wonwoo got to pull from you as well.

He pushed the thought to the back of his mind and focused on pulling more of those noises from you. He would fuck you – no, make love to you – better than Wonwoo ever did. You were Seokmin’s after all. His fingers dropped from your chest as his mouth left yours. “You’re such a needy girl baby.” You nodded, chasing his lips with your own. A laugh left him and his fingers slipped beneath the waistband of your skirt and traced the top of your panties. You nodded, giving permission for him to use you as he so desired. And he did.

His fingers were one of the things you loved most about Seokmin. His long, slender fingers dipped into your panties and found your clit. He began to draw lazy circles as you keened under him. “That’s it baby girl, am I making you feel good?” Your moans answered him and gave flight to his ego once more. “Yes Minnie, oh god yes. Don’t stop.” You pulled his face back to yours, forcing him to kiss you once more. His fingers sped up as he swallowed more of your moans. Your hands dipped to his belt, untying it and moving his zipper. You could feel his bulge through his jeans before slipping your hand into them and caressing him through his boxers. Now it was his turn to moan into your open mouth, fingers moving from your clit to circle your hole. You were clenching around nothing, just a mess waiting for Seokmin to stretch you out again. He pulled away, his warmth leaving you.

“Undress for me baby. Please.” It took only a moment for you to shimmy out of your skirt and panties while Seokmin undressed at the end of the bed. You couldn’t hold back the moan that bubbled from your chest as his cock sprung free from his boxers, precum already leaking from the tip.

“Can I taste you? Please Seokmin?” You raised yourself up to your knees, a pout playing on your lips as Seokmin groaned.

“Fuck yes my pretty little thing.” His hands reached for your face to bring you closer. You placed one hand around the base of him before placing a soft, delicate kiss to his tip. Wrapping your lips around the head of his cock you glanced up at Seokmin. His face was flushed, eyes trained on your every movement. His mouth was dropped open, moans leaving him as you moved your head back and forth, working your tongue along him as you hollowed your cheeks. His hands tangled in your hair, a makeshift ponytail the only thing grounding him while you worked him, wrapped your tongue around his cock and played him like a fiddle.

“Fuck, just like that baby. God you’re so much better than her.” You pulled off him, hands scrambling to push him away from you.

“What the fuck Seokmin? What did you just say?” The panic was evident on his face. He didn’t mean for it to slip out. Oh god maybe he did, maybe he wanted to hurt you in that moment while all he could think about was your mouth around Wonwoo.

“Baby, I’m so sorry I didn’t mean it, I don’t know what came over me.” He reached out for you, but you swatted his hand away, pushing yourself back up the bed and away from him. You scrambled to cover yourself with your discarded shirt. He stood still.

“What the fuck do you mean you didn’t mean it?” Your words were dripping in venom, face contorted in disgust and pain. You could feel your eyes welling with tears.

“I mean…” He paused. “Fuck, look, I don’t know why I said it. I thought in the moment-“

“In the moment? What, while your cock was in my mouth you thought I wanted to hear your detailed thoughts about who’s better at sucking your dick, your fiancé or another one of your backup dancers?”

“That’s not what I meant, and you know it.” You threw a pillow at him, but he just caught it and held it across himself. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.” The room went silent, just the sound of your breathing to be heard.

“Well, you did. You fucking did. You’re disgusting.”

“Oh, fuck off!” He was shouting now. “Fuck off with your self-pity bullshit. Like you weren’t lying there thinking of him this whole time.” He threw the pillow back at you, his face and chest flushed again, but this time out of anger. “I can’t fucking stand you anymore, I can’t sit there and watch you spread your legs for my best fucking friend and then turn around and belittle me.”

“Because at least I only fuck the same guy behind your back! I don’t parade myself around and fuck the first girl I see that day who takes my fancy. I don’t sit there and let makeup artists or hair stylists or journalists suck my cock or leave lipstick marks on my shirts!” You were crying again now. Dragging yourself up from the bed, you started pulling clothes from your wardrobe.

“What the hell are you doing now?” You threw on underwear and the first shirt you could get your hands on before throwing some clothes at Seokmin.

“I can’t. I just can’t do this anymore. I can’t pretend like this isn’t killing me, like this is healthy anymore.” He was dressing with you as you packed up a bag.

“What? Wait, no you can’t-“

You stretched out your hand to Seokmin, the ring placed in the middle of your palm. Seokmin just stood there staring at it, eyes unblinking, unmoving. You took his hand and placed the ring in his palm, stepping backwards, away from him for good.

“You can’t be serious. Please.” His voice wavered. It never did that before. In all the time you’ve known him, loved him, he’d never once shown any sadness during a fight, never once been so obviously afraid. “I can’t do this without you. I need you, please.” He reached for you again and you stepped back. The repetition of all of this was infuriating. Maddening. You couldn’t bring yourself to do it anymore.

This was when the storm started. That dark, heavy storm that battered the house and rattled the windows. The pair of you stood there in silence, tears falling from the both of you. But as much as your heart was breaking, you couldn’t find it in yourself to go to him. You had reached the point of no return.

“I want you gone by the morning. Please.” And with that, you turned and walked away, leaving Seokmin alone in that bedroom that was now too big and too cold.

Your footsteps were almost silent against the hardwood floors, soft patters competing against the roaring rain hurling into the windows. The sky was grey, covered over with heavy swollen clouds just unleashing their pain onto the world. Lighting your cigarette and taking a long, painful drag right into your lungs, you realised that the two of you could never come back from any of this.

[mocolococoffeesimp]

Aba asks her s.o to teach her how to dance

-A.B.A had seen some videos of people dancing, so she wanted to try it with you. Unfortunately she was bit sluggish with her moves, she wasn't used to move so effortlessly and weightless. If, you knew how the basics went with dancing, A.B.A would trust you to lead. But, if both of you were complete novices with dancing, you two followed a video tutorial trying it out. You two managed to learn the basics of waltz, despite both of you stomping each others toes. She wanted to do this more often you, as to her it was excellent way to spend time with you and get to hold you.

-She started to watch the tutorials when you weren't around. She wanted to impress you with some of the moves. Thanks, to her homunculus body, she is far more flexible than average person. So, some moves where the teacher is showing clear limits of human body, A.B.A goes beyond it. She doesn't realize it herself, so she just keeps practising.

-When she finally shows the dances she has been practicing, she looks like she came straight from a horror movie. Her back bending way too much with certain moves, her moves being fluid, yet stiff on some parts. When she finishes the dance, she smiles at you. She takes couple steps towards you, grabbing your hands. "Well, dear? How was my expression of love and admiration to you?" You weren't sure how to reply. You didn't want to tell her, she danced like she was in a horror movie. Her self-esteem was low enough as it was. But, there was some beauty on how she danced. "You danced wonderfully, A.B.A. But, like with most things there's room for improvement. As hard as it is for me to believe." A toothy smile appeared on her, as she heard you praising.

"I was certain my love would recognize the effort. And, those improvements.. We can work out together...." She grabs tightly onto your hand. You chuckled at her. "Of course, A.B.A. We'll be best dance duo in no time."

[archandshri]

9th feb '24 - [arch] characters, interactions and emotion - making a mini webcomic

Gahhhh Shri this has been an absolutely crazy couple of weeks!!!! Hope you are doing well :)) First of all, WOW! You have a lot of goals, and I’m sure you’ll get them done! I’ve worked a lot on my graphic design during the process of making Winter Wellbeing. If you wanna see a blog post dedicated just to that, I can do so! It would be cool to compare notes on the approaches we take for graphic layouts. If you wanna share your knowledge of camera skills when you build that up that would be awesome 😭😭

It’s been a tough few weeks, art wise. I have been reflecting on my process, motivations to create, the ego and all the baggage that’s lumped into the creative process for me. It turns out there’s a lot. I took some space from my illustration practise (literally for a weekend!) and began to realise how dysfunctional it is. I’ve been writing a lot about that so there may be a larger piece of writing coming about that at some point (no promises!!)

But for now, let's talk about little successes!

I’ve been playing with some characters for a while but I’d hit a bit of a block with the plot. I realised the expectation of having a finished project of high quality soon is unrealistic, and an unhealthy expectation to put on myself. I rarely give myself time to play with concepts for a long time and let the characters, plot and interactions evolve naturally. Maybe this in part came from sticking to the short university module turnaround. I noticed that that short turnaround was causing a lot of block, so I have decided to bench it as a comic for now and focus on using it as a playground - falling in love with the characters, creating stories and drawing them for fun. Maybe years down the line I’ll make them into a comic - we shall see! 

I *tried* to do hourly comics day this year and it didn’t quite work for me. I think I made 3 comics? And then got distracted with a bigger project that ended up taking a week or so to complete. Let’s have a look at it, shall we?

[you can find the full version here]

First of all, it’s based on an unfinished fanfiction I started a couple of months ago, which was mostly bad, but there was one nice scene that I liked and wanted to expand on. I started by having a look at the script I wrote and thumbnailing on the iPad. I’m away from home at the mo and usually would prefer to do most of my artwork traditionally, but because I don’t have access to a scanner, the whole process was digital this time. A lot of the pages got scrapped because the dialogue wasn’t necessary, and I’m not drawing pages that aren’t necessary.

some more development screenshots

I thought a lot about posing during the process, acting the scenes out in my mind and sometimes physically, really understanding the emotions of the characters, why they’re saying what they’re saying, their tone and how to convey that though their body language and expression (i find grian really annoying normally [affectionate] but I want this grian to step on me).

Pearl was hard with this because she’s quite erratic and unpredictable in this series, so I wanted her to switch from raw explodey anger to playful jabs at Grian. I’m hoping this comes across as somewhat insane, rather than tonally off and inconsistent. I did super enjoy drawing her and her explosive nature though, especially in comparison to Grian’s coldness.

I played with levels and monotone colour too - I’m not working with multiple colours much at the moment so I’m able to focus on things like values composition, characters and backgrounds. My skills limit the kind of stories I can tell currently, so I’m working to improve those foundations. Maybe when I’m back in the riso studio I can play with colours a little more.

Colours - despite the simple pallete it gets a bit nerdy here.I stuck to specific flat percentages for most of it - Pearl’s hair and Grians jumper are 60%, Grian’s hair and Pearl’s cloak are 20%. Then I added a 14% layer for shadows, using a ahrd blend eraser tool for highlights, making the images quite dark. I fill a layer with texture from Forystr’s riso brush for procreate, and turn it into a 40% opacity colour dodge layer. This gives it some much needed texture and makes the lighting feel low and nighttimecore. It also pushes the values to look really nice - I tend to be too scared to push them by myself.

I tried a few different colour layers to get a *vibe* but settled on a low percentage riso blue in a colour layer. All layers besides the riso blue are in a riso black, colour picked from a riso colour pallete. I learnt these tools - using percentages to get good values - from working with risograph. I really recommend having a look at these techniques and doing some monotone work. It's really improved by character designs, page layouts and compositions.

That's all from me today, though I have had MANY other thoughts over the past two weeks about creating, but perhaps we'll dive into them another time. If you (or anyone else) has any questions, hit me up with a reblog or an ask and I will get right to it. Lovely to hear from you! Hope your art is going great too :)) Arch :)

[iiitsnotbase]

I'm writing a MIDST fic set 10 years after the canon ft Tzila, Bets, Walter, and orginal guy called Kiss and of course the general populous.

They sing the moon mining song so I had to write it here it is:

Goe hopped up on stage. 

“How good are you at singing?” She asked him. 

The look on his face could only be described as sheer and utter terror. Oh, Tzila knew that look. Everyone else was clapping and cheering as the residents who still remembered it struck up the moon mining song. Tzila whispered a quick ‘You’ll be fine,’ at Phineas before Bets and Walter pulled her into the circle. The time and true tested tradition of the mining song began, as always, with Goe.

“Well hello, I’m Goe, and I think y’all should know, the moon is gone but Midst lives long, and you’d think I’d improve over time, but I still don’t know how to make a rhyme, see when the moon fell outta the sky, I thought my whole life was a lie, but I’m standing here today so I say, why not do things our own way?” He passed the microphone to Emett.

“Well then Goe if you insist, but I was never good at this. My speeches are practised, the motions all rehearsed and Goe was bad but I’ll be worse. Our beloved Sherman finally took the hint and Kiss is here, and he’s a good kid. Now I think for a right of passage, Kiss should sing in the second message, don’t worry kid, we won’t stress you yet, we’ll show you how it’s done with our favourite BocVet.” He passed the microphone to Fiona, and Goe feigned offence that he was not the favourite anymore. 

“Well thanks there Emett you know I’ll try, to make it through the night without a cry. Now there’s a saying we have, when someone new comes, we make them feel welcome, and we treat them as one of us, and even when that new person is attached to me, I think by now he knows what to sing!” Jacob the Leg was next to receive the microphone.

“Ah, uh, oh no! I don’t know. What to say. So I’ll just pause. Until it goes away. You know I care about her, and love her to the death. So the circumstances are strange, who cares about that? It’s probably odd to hear this, given that…Tomasi is right there, hi friend, but I promise I’m grateful, and I’ll be here to I end.”

“Everybody!” Someone yells and takes the microphone from Jacob to bring it over to Kiss and drag the poor boy in while the residents sing the chorus. The chorus ends and Kiss is holding the microphone on the edge of the circle. 

“Well I’ve watched this happen many’a time, and now I know that I can’t rhyme, and even though it’s not a test I promise that I’ll do my best. My promise to y’all relies on three simple things, I promise to keep y’all company, whatever life will bring, and I’ll be here with a smile, serving y’all the drinks, with Tzila,” Crap, “in her chair, now it’s her turn to sing.” The internal split-second panic washed over Tzila again before she realised she could absolutely use this against Phineas. 

“Well I guess y’all might know me, I’ve been here 14 years. You’ve all brought me laughter, and you’ve all brought me tears, but I have to say the one boy who made me cry the most, is standing in the corner, lookin’ like a living ghost. I’m still much better at drawing, so I’ll get back to that, but if I could have your attention, here comes Phineas Thatch!” Mocking boo’s went up around the room at Phineas’s announcement. Tzila quickly looked at Kiss. “You’re one of us now!” She yelled. He rolled his eyes.

“Can’t think of anything worse.” He said, jokingly. 

“Well like Emett said it, my old speeches were pre-ordained, but I guess I owe you, for the time I caused the pain. Consider this an apology, and my best one yet, because I learnt that good deeds were not worth all the debt. Now I may surrender the mic to someone new. Sherman Guthrie, it’s your party, and we haven’t heard from you.” Phineas crossed the floor in a few steps and handed the microphone to Sherman.

[tenpintsof-sundrop]

if you have any, would you be willing to share writing tips? I feel like you’re the best person to ask, not just because I love your work, but also because of how well composed your explanations are and the detail you put into them and your dedication to whatever topic it is that you’re talking about which is all reflected in your fics

maybe I just lack the motivation? i really do enjoy writing though, so when I get stumped it upsets me 😕

my head is overflowing with ideas, but I can’t get more than 1k words in before my brain just shuts off, even if it’s a fic I’m very excited about. even what I do get down isn’t always the best, it’s mediocre at best.

i understand the concept of trying and failing, that you won’t start out as a pro, and so i continue to try and make the effort, but lately i feel like I’ve just been failing lmao

just looking for some genuine advice, and no pressure to answer 😭💕 thank youu x

I do have lots of writing advice. In the future, if you struggle specifically with dialogue or narration or themes or plotting, we can talk about those, but this is my most general advice for the things you have spoken about there.

First of all - this is the thing I tell everybody and it is a pit of a harsh pull to swallow: it takes time. It takes time to develop skill, it takes time to fully love your fics and be fully confident in your skills and what you have written. It takes time to get to a point where you can get an idea in your head and execute it on paper well. Writing is one of those things where if you don't practice it insistently, you don't become better at it.

I have been doing some form of creative writing as a hobby daily for the past fifteen years - literally fifteen years. And I have been writing at least two thousand words a day (aside from days when I am very sick, which is maybe like 2 or 3 days a month) - for the past five or six years. So I have been practising my writing a lot. And it's only within the last two years solidly that I would say I am very consistently confident in my writing and the skills I have built up. But even now, I still sometimes stumble and I write some things that I am unsure about at times.

However, while you are practising and developing your skills, I always recommend faking that confidence to a certain extent - tell yourself that your writing is good even if you think it's not. And appreciate what you have done. Writing something at all is impressive. Appreciate how far you have come. Even if you don't finish a piece of writing, it is still worth appreciating.

Getting stressed out and telling yourself that your writing is bad is not productive. Saying that your writing doesn't live up to what you want it to be will chip away at your motivation. You need to reduce that stress and bring more positive emotions to the writing experience - that is an important first step. (And there is a difference between allowing yourself room for improvement and just straight up shitting on yourself and telling yourself that your writing is bad.)

That being said, here are some major points that might help you out:

Helping With Motivation

Though this is not as much of a problem for me today (sometimes I struggle with forcing myself to finish longer fics, and this is where these tips come in) - I have picked up a lot of tips over the years to help kick motivation back in if you fizzle out partway through a fic.

Go back to the source material. This is a huge one for me. Especially with fanfiction. Put the fan back in fanfiction. You have to remember what inspired you to write that fic in the first place. Whether it's your personal affection and love for a character as a love interest or the spark of a ship between two characters - let it re-inspire you by going back to the material at hand.

Watch edits of the character to get bite-sized pieces of them to focus your mind, or go back and rewatch the show again. Watch a compilation of that character's greatest moments, or even listen to songs that you personally associate with them and take some time to imagine music videos with them in your mind. But take some time to get re-inspired and pump-up your motivation.

Often, when I am writing fics, my computer is in a splitscreen of the fic I am writing and then a youtube video showing edits of that character, so I am getting inspiration as I write. It's a very important technique of mine.

You said that you struggle to write anything that is over 1k, so - how about writing intentionally shorter fics?

This is something I have only been doing in the past two years or so, and I find it so fucking freeing! There was a point when I became known for writing fics that were 10k or longer because I got really excited about the source material and I really wanted to write long fics due to enthusiasm, but then I felt like - if I didn't write oneshots that were 10k, 15k, 20k, 25k - I would be disappointing everyone. I felt like I was trapped in such a box.

And I know that fandom seems to have so many unspoken rules - but short fics can do so well. For a long time last year and at the beginning of this year, my most popular fic on Tumblr was 800 words long. You can do a lot in fics with a little. So you should definitely experiment with writing intentionally shorter fics.

This really helps with motivation, because (in my personal experience) when writing a fic that is only supposed to be 1k or 2k, when you have written 1k and you end up writing 2.5k, you feel so accomplished. And it helps you to write more when your brain feels like the finish line is closer. And often, you get more done in the long run, because you may end up writing 10 different fics that are 1k each and end up writing 10k overall - which means you have written 10k words that you can gain experience from, and that you and others can gain fanfiction enjoyment from.

But if you want to write longer fics (or if your ideas can't be contained in shorter fics, which I know is the case a lot of times with me) - then: give yourself homework. I know it sounds weird, but it is a technique that I use a lot.

I know there's a lot of other stuff going on in life and likely a lot of other stuff that you need to get done, but seriously - start assigning yourself a specific amount of work that you need to get done on your wips, and that is how they get done.

And yes, there is something to be said for having fun (because fanfiction is a hobby and it should be fun) vs the soulsucking lack of motivation and writing just to do it - but I find that every single wip I have ever written ever, always has the "oh my god I just want this done" stage, where it feels like horrible work and I resent the story so fucking much and I just want it over, and I have to force myself to finish it.

Sometimes that comes in the last few paragraphs, sometimes it comes halfway through - and depending on how far along I am in the story is when I decide if I should cut my losses and move on to another story to just have fun instead of going through the soulsucking dread to get it finished. Because after the soulsucking, comes the 'omg I am so proud of this, I got it done' part. Sometimes, you just have to force yourself to finish something in order to get it done. It's that whole 'genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration' thing.

Anyway - if you are going to assign yourself homework, be realistic. If a fic is going to be 10k in total, tell yourself that you should write 2k per day. That's a nice, realistic number - or even start off saying that you want to write 500 words a day if that's more realistic for you. I always tell myself that whole thing: 'how do you eat an elephant? one bite at a time.' - because bigger fics get done by writing them one small bit at a time.

Hopefully this helps???

[draguta]

.a court of fate and fortune | thirty.

pairing: lucien vanserra x fem!reader

summary: | book two | lovers separated, powers that won't be controlled, a doomed wedding. with the threat of war looming over prythian, lucien, Y/N, tamlin, and rhysand's inner circle must scramble to find allies and prepare themselves for what is to come. but Y/N only has one aim; to find her way back to lucien, and protect him at all costs.

chapter warnings: smut, 18+, minors dni, unprotected sex (p in v)

chapter word count: 5209

a/n: sorry folks, i know this is a long one, but it had to be done! enjoyyyy

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please remember to reblog, like, and share a comment if you enjoy this series - it is always appreciated by writers to see their hard work valued.

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The Passing Of Time

The Night Court wilderness was far from the plush comfort of Velaris. It was cold, closer in temperature to Windhaven, and the lines of trees seemed to stretch forever. It was endless, the walking, and the only thing that kept you moving was the knowledge that each step would take you closer to the end of the day, when the sentinels would light the fire and you’d be able to cuddle up in the tent with Lucien.

A week and a half passed, and you were entirely fed-up. Your body had been stiff from the end of the first day, and the muscle aches hadn’t dulled since then. Your mood hadn’t improved much either, and the others had noticed.

“I just don’t understand why we couldn’t just winnow,” you moaned as you slumped down onto the ground as Wren lit the fire, and Lucien prepared the tent behind you.

“Winnowing would defeat the point,” Bron chuckled. “If you’re looking for something, you can’t skip out half the area by winnowing. We might winnow right past her.”

You suppressed the urge to roll your eyes, and leaned back against your hands, stretching your legs and crossing your ankles, the only position you could sit in that would alleviate your burning muscles. “There has to be a better way than walking everywhere,” you muttered.

“Like what?” Silas asked with a raised brow, crouching down across the fire to begin skinning the two squirrels he’d caught earlier in the day for dinner. You grimaced as he slit one of the animals at the rear and began spreading the cut apart, sliding his dagger further in with each cut.

“This is Prythian, surely there’s some kind of magic that could make this easier for us?” You implored, tutting your tongue slightly in annoyance.

“Do you ever stop complaining?” Wren snorted, just as the flames of the fire began to grow, billowing in the crisp breeze - you didn’t want to remind them that Lucien had fire magic running through his veins, and could have lit the fire in seconds. If they wanted to practise their survival skills, you’d let them, and after eleven days trekking through the snowy landscape of what was considered the most dangerous court in Prythian, Lucien seemed to have no want in helping them either.

“No, she doesn’t,” Lucien remarked from behind you, coming to join the others now that the tent was erect. He pressed a quick kiss to your temple before grabbing a knife to begin chopping some of the few veg your group had left to throw into the stew for dinner.

“I can remember someone being much worse on their first trailing trek,” Silas interjected, shooting Lucien a cunning smirk. Lucien grumbled something under his breath.

“So,” you said with raised brows, turning to Lucien, “you’ve spent all week telling me off for complaining, when you were just as bad?”

Lucien sucked in a harsh breath, the warmth of it hitting the icy air as he exhaled through his nose, forming a cloud in front of him. He tossed the knife to the ground at your feet and stood, turning away from you. “At least I actually help.”

You winced as he stalked off - perhaps your complaining had been a little overboard. But it was that complaining that had kept your focus, rather than the burning problem you were still trying to face. How to keep your little group away from Velaris.

“You’ve been to the Night Court before,” Hart said slowly. Your eyes snapped up to meet his pretty blue ones - he was younger than the others except for Wren, and was, out of the whole group, the only one you didn’t really know that well. Perhaps that was why he had asked such an impertinent question. The others flinched at his words; they all knew what your time in the Night Court had been like. Or rather, they knew what you wanted everyone in Spring to think of those months you were there - that you had been tortured and treated badly, that Rhysand was a ruthless dictator, and that the streets there ran red with blood. Hart, apparently, hadn’t heard those rumours, or was simply too naïve to care that bringing them up might have haunted you, had they been true. “Don’t you have any idea where they might be keeping her?”

Velaris. They were keeping her in Velaris, you were sure of it. Neither Azriel nor Rhysand had specifically said so, but you knew Rhys well enough by now to know that, if Feyre was no longer under Tamlin’s thumb and a threat to that city he loved so much, it would be there that he would take her to recover after the manor.

But you couldn’t take them there. None of these sentinels - Silas, Wren, Bron, Hart - not even Lucien, could know about Velaris. Not until you were sure they were safe, that they wouldn’t go and tell Tamlin, and ensure Velaris was turned into a target, rather than the safe sanctuary it had become over the years.

But that was just the problem - you didn’t even know where Velaris was from where you were there, trekking through the forests. You could have been walking right toward it, for all you knew. You’d only left Velaris twice during your time in the Night Court - once to visit the Moonstone Palace above Hewn City, and the other to go to Windhaven - and both times you had winnowed there, and couldn’t exactly make much note of the direction in which you were travelling.

Windhaven. In the mountains - that was easy enough to find. Simple enough to suggest Feyre was being kept with the Illyrian legions, considering it was no secret that Rhys’ armies were made up of the winged-faeries, and with its mountain position, it should be easy enough to find. Maybe - just maybe - you could take them toward Windhaven, and hope that they would give up before they even got there, or the Illyrians would scare them off before they found any trace of Feyre or Rhysand - any mention of Velaris.

“There was one place they took me,” you said slowly, schooling your voice to sound as if it were trembling, as if you were scared to even say the words. “It was the only time they took me out of wherever it was they were keeping me - somewhere called Windhaven.”

“Windhaven?” Lucien asked, turning back around at your confession, eyes narrowed. You nodded firmly.

“It was snowy - somewhere in the mountains I think,” you said softly. “Maybe that’s where they’re keeping Feyre.”

Silas looked up to Lucien, who nodded his head in confirmation. “It’s the closest thing to a lead we’ve got,” Lucien said, moving to position himself beside you on the ground again.

“Do you think you’d be able to work out the direction?” Silas asked, actions frozen, dagger hanging limply from his hand. You swallowed once.

“Probably,” you said truthfully - at least that wasn’t a lie. “If I can get a good view, if we could find a clearing or something, I think I’d be able to find the mountain range.”

A hand clamped down on your shoulder - Bron, from somewhere behind you - as he said, “Good job, Y/N.”

Lucien smiled gently, snaking an arm around your shoulders and pulling you closer to him, resting his chin on your head as he inhaled sharply. “Thank you, my love,” he said, quiet enough that it was only audible to your ears. “I’m sorry I’ve been so moody recently. This place…it has me on edge.”

You closed your eyes, shuffling closer to his warmth. “It’s okay.”

“You’re sure about this Windhaven place?” Lucien asked slowly.

You shrugged half-heartedly. “It’s the only place I can think of.”

Another lie. Another deceit to your friends - your mate, and the people you loved the most - to add to the list of mistruths you’d already spewed to them. How would they feel if they were ever to find out how many times you’d duped them? Would they ever forgive you?

You couldn’t think about that now. Not with Lucien's warmth seeping into your chilled bones. Not with the fire flickering a comforting orange glow toward you in the dimming night. Not with the smell of the stew, already beginning to bubble in the pot above the fire, wafting toward you, making your mouth water. Not surrounded by your friends.

Three weeks, and you could have sworn your exhaustion had become tangible. You could feel it in the air around you with every step you took, as if it were a force pushing against you, making each and every footstep forward more difficult than the last. You’d made a silent promise to yourself to never travel across courts by foot again - Lucien could take you everywhere with him, so long as you were winnowing or riding.

You’d spotted that familiar mountain range, the one you were sure was home to the Windhaven camp, weeks ago, and your group had been trekking that way ever since. It loomed over you, high above the frost-coated tree tops, a marker of the end to your journey. It seemed to grow colder the closer you got to it, and it almost felt as if it grew taller, more intimidating, with each and every step in its shadow.

Your mood hadn’t improved much either, and the others were catching onto that. They were beginning to realise how you grew more defiant, slower in your pace, the closer to the steppes you got. You prayed they wouldn’t work out that you were trying to delay them as much as you could.

But Lucien knew something was wrong, you could tell from the way his eyes remained almost constantly trained on you, and how no matter where you went, he always seemed to be at your side. Of course he knew something was wrong, he knew you better than anyone else. But you refused to give him an inch, no matter how much you wanted to tell him exactly why you were acting like such a brat, why you were constantly complaining and asking for breaks. You would keep that to yourself for now, for the sake of Rhys and the Inner Circle - your friends. For the sake of Velaris.

“What is it, Y/N?” Lucien asked one night once the pair of you were safe inside your tent. You were camped so close to the steppes now that it unnerved you, with only the hiking climb upward remaining until you were at Windhaven. The others were asleep already, long-since hunkered down in their own tents surrounding the fire, and whilst Lucien had retired to bed a while ago, an hour or so after you had, he’d remained staring at the ceiling of the tent, not even attempting to sleep. Until now.

“What do you mean?” You asked, roused from your peaceful doze. You rolled over, turning to look at him. He narrowed his eyes toward you as if trying to see you properly in the dim orange glow from the fire outside that seeped through the crack in the tent flaps; his golden eye seemed to glow of its own accord in the darkness. The Night Court was always so dark.

“I feel like you’re keeping something from me,” he said softly. There was something there, laced into his tone - hurt. “I didn’t think we would keep secrets from each other anymore.”

“I’m not keeping anything from you,” you replied. You shuffled further down into your bed, peering up at him from under your blankets. “Why would you think I was keeping something from you?”

“All of the complaining, and the breaks, and the changes in route that you’re insisting upon,” he commented, not trying to hide the irritation in his tone. He was right - you had suggested they change route on more than one occasion, pulling them further into the wilderness to loop back around for no other reason than to offer time. “It’s like you’re trying to delay us.”

“I’m not-”

“What is it you’re keeping from me, Y/N?” He said again, firmer this time.

‘Tell him,’ a little voice in your head said. ‘Tell him about Velaris.’ You had been certain that Velaris was the closest thing to a home you were going to find in Prythian, but it had always felt like there was something missing there. You’d realised, after a great deal of thought, that the missing thing was Lucien, and had since spent days fantasising over what your lives would look like in the City of Starlight together. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t want to tell him just so you could see that fantasy play out. But-

But it wasn’t time for that, not now. Not when the whole world was turning upside down around you. Velaris had to remain hidden, for now - had to remain safe.

You reached upward, clasping his face gently between your hands. His warmth seeped into your palms despite the cold - he was always warm, a trait from his Autumn Court blood that you were particularly fond of, especially in the icy wilds of the Night Court, where the frost bit at your fingers and threatened hypothermia with each passing day.

“I’m not keeping anything from you,” you whispered, glancing between his eyes, the way they danced from your own eyes, down to your lips, and back up again.

“Then you’re doing it just to frustrate me,” he ground out. In an instant he was rolling on top of you, pinning you in place beneath him, hair falling around you both like a canopy of Autumn leaves. “Are you doing it just to piss me off, Y/N? Do you want me to get angry?”

“No,” you whispered. He was so close - if you moved upward just an inch your lips would be against his. It had been so long. He hadn’t touched you since Hybern. His hands planted themselves over your own, stroking tenderly at the backs of your palms.

“You’re so cold,” he noted, voice low and whispered. “Perhaps you want to rile me up so I would come in here and warm you up.”

His hands were moving down your arms now, caressing the skin, warming every inch of you. They reached your shoulders, squeezing once at the flesh there, and then moved down, along your ribs, to your hips, to the band of your trousers.

“No, Lucien,” you whispered. “I-I would never.”

His thumbs hooked into your waistband, pulling them down over your hips, underwear sweeping over your thighs at the same time, pooling around your knees. You expected the chill to hit your bare skin, to make you all-too aware of how much you wanted him then, but the sharp sting of the cold never came. In fact, the tent had warmed up immensely. Lucien threw you a cocky smirk - he had heated the tent, enough that you could both strip off a small amount of your layers, enough that you might connect your bodies properly.

His hand slid between the pair of you, the knuckle of one of his fingers brushing over your wetness, eliciting a gasp from you that made Lucien chuckle as he pulled at the strings of his trousers, releasing his length to rest against your thigh.

“You mean to tell me this wasn’t what you planned?” He asked, leaning in to ghost the words across your skin where your shoulder met your neck. It was so warm, so alluring, that it made your mouth water, made you arch up from the sleep mat to meet his body. As your pebbled nipples - visible even through the thick shirt that you had worn to bed, met with his chest, you felt him twitch against your thigh, smearing his arousal against your skin. “You mean to tell me this wasn’t what you wanted?”

One agonisingly slow thrust and he was inside you to the hilt, and a moan reverberated through your chest, louder than intended. But that feeling, of being so full of him again, of feeling him so deep…you couldn’t help yourself. He rolled his hips again, slowly grinding his body against yours as his lips travelled up your neck to your jawline, nipping and sucking.

“I always want you,” you breathed out. He groaned, seeming to involuntarily buck his hips toward you as if your words themselves were close to breaking the leash he’d given himself; the action caused your eyes to roll back and another moan to escape your lips.

“Quiet my love,” he said against your skin, leaning up to nibble at your bottom lip. His hips rolled again, and he found a rhythm, slow and passionate and enough to have your toes curling and your hands reaching up to clutch at his arm, his hair, his back - anywhere that you could reach. “You wouldn't want the others to wake up and hear those beautiful noises you make for me would you?”

He bit down harder on your lip, dragging it between his teeth and pulling it away from your teeth to suck at it. His rhythm became stronger, harder, and you could feel that coil tightening inside you as he hit you perfectly each and every time.

As he pulled up at your leg, it slipped from the confines of your trousers, and he hoisted it up over his hip, leaning down to press sloppy, quick kisses to the skin of your inner thigh.

“Look at this,” he murmured, his voice so low, so feral, that it sent sparks right down to your core. Your eyes fluttered open and found his as they fell down to where the two of you were connected. You followed his eyeline, watching as he sank himself deep into you with each thrust. “Look how well you take me, my love. Look how perfectly we fit together.”

“M-Made for each other,” you stuttered out. His eyes snapped up to yours, and you could see the concentration written into the lines on his face - he was trying not to find his pleasure too soon, was trying to wait so the pair of you could cross that line and fall into ecstasy together.

“We were made for each other,” he confirmed, snapping his hips harder into you, accenting each word with a wave of pleasure that shot through you, tingling through your entire body like the fire that ran through his veins. “There is no one else in this world for me, my love. Only you.”

“M-Me too,” you managed, arching your back again, offering him the perfect angle to lean down and nibble at your neck, likely leaving behind a purple bruise that you���d struggle to explain to the others the next day. “O-Only you, Lucien.”

A harsh snap of his hips, hitting you in the perfect spot that had you mumbling his name incoherently. “So, will you stop trying to piss me off then?” He asked. Another harsh thrust and a tug of your hair. “Otherwise I may not warm you up again.”

“I-I will,” you stuttered. A bite of his teeth to that purple bruise on your neck, another sharp thrust that had your legs shaking - so close. You were so close.

“Good girl,” he said, snaking his free hand down between your bodies, never letting up the new relentless pace that he had set. “Then come for me, Y/N.”

And you did. His fingers caressed your clit, and your body shattered, pieced itself back together, and then shattered again. Your legs shook, but he held you in place, savouring every second of your pleasure. And when you clenched, it threw him over the edge alongside you, spilling himself into you with a low whisper of your name.

Then there was a light - a different kind of light to the soft glow of the fire outside. This seemed to burst through the darkness of the tent, as if the very sun had fallen from the sky to share in your pleasure. But it wasn’t the sun, you realised as you squinted your eyes open, but rather Lucien. His skin glowed a dazzling brightness that encased the pair of you in rays of golden light. His head was thrown back in ecstasy, his mouth parted slightly as his climax washed through him, and then as his high and yours together began to fade, the light dimmed until it was nothing more than a slight light dancing in his eye.

“What was that?” You breathed out as he slumped against your chest, ear pressed against your skin as though he were listening for your heart.

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “It’s never happened before. Maybe…Maybe it’s just some remnant of my fire power.”

“Maybe,” you agreed, brushing a hand over his silken hair. But you knew that the light that had shone from him like a beacon was not the light of a fire. That had been a different light, brighter and clearer.

Morning brought with it a crisp dew that lay against the fallen snow from the night before. Everyone huddled around the now extinguished fire, bundled up in the warmest clothes to battle against the breeze that the day’s trek would bring with it, scoffing down the remnant of last night’s dinner and a few pieces of weeks-old fruit that Hart had found in his pack, for breakfast.

“You know,” Silas said eventually, the words fighting their way around the chattering of his teeth. “You two could have at least tried to be quiet last night. Some of us were trying to sleep, you know.”

You paused mid-bite of your apple, eyes wide in shock. A flush crept its way up your neck and coated your cheeks - embarrassment and guilt were the root cause. “I-I didn’t know you could hear us.”

“It’s not like this place is particularly noisy,” Wren pointed out with a knowing smirk. “Sound carries.”

“I’m so sorry,” you said, looking to Lucien in shock. But to your surprise, the emissary simply curled his lips, seemingly holding back a laugh.

“You don’t need to apologise to him, Y/N,” he chuckled. “I’ve heard far worse things coming out of that dormitory of theirs.”

Silas shot Lucien a smirk. “Oh yes, you definitely don’t need to apologise,” the commander retorted. “Maybe next time, you should just invite me to join in instead. I hate to be left out of all the fun.”

Your jaw practically dropped. “You’re joking, right?”

“He’s definitely not joking,” Bron cut in with a snigger. “Silas jokes about many things, but that is not one of them.”

“Well,” Lucien said with a shrug, challenging eyes trained on the commander, “maybe we can arrange it. It sounds like an agreeable idea if you ask me.”

You turned your shocked expression on Lucien. “Are you serious?”

“Well, why not?” Lucien countered. “He’s a good-looking fellow.”

You shook your head, standing bolt upright in a second and moving to pack away your tent, mumbling under your breath, “It’s too fucking early for this.”

The sounds of raucous male laughter echoed after you.

You pondered that light for the following days as your group began the ascent up the mountain side. You had never seen magic like it, not in either of the courts you had visited before, nor Under the Mountain. It seemed so…distinctive. So special.

The bond, you had come to the conclusion. It had to be the bond. Perhaps the bond had snapped into place for Lucien that night at last, and he simply hadn’t realised it. Although how he couldn’t have noticed that tie between the two of you, you weren’t sure. Why he had glowed like that when that hadn’t happened when it had snapped for you, you didn’t know. And why the far end of that bond between you still felt so void, you had no idea.

So many questions.

Yet, five days later after the camp was set up between the trees on the side of that steppe, you made a decision, and quickly got to work skinning the rabbit Wren had caught that afternoon. It was gruesome work, and you had to admit that you didn’t know the first thing about cooking really, but you did you best, and worked through it, even with the blood and grime and entrails that buried themselves under your nails.

“You made this?” Silas asked with a raised eyebrow as you handed him the bowl of rabbit stew. It looked okay, you thought - perhaps not as good as the stew Silas usually made, but good enough for consumption.

“Yes, didn’t you see me toiling away over the fire all evening?” You snarked in reply, handing Wren and Bron their bowls as well.

“Well yes, but are you sure Lucien or Wren didn’t make this and you just pretended you did?” Silas asked, cautiously taking a spoonful and sniffing it. You rolled your eyes, reaching over to take the final two bowls from him.

“I made it,” you said. “And it’ll taste damn good too.”

You turned then, and handed that final bowl to Lucien. He barely even noticed, mumbling a thank you and returning to sharpening his blade. But you perched there beside him, watching from the corner of your eye. He had no idea how momentous this moment was for you, and you could only hope that the bond had snapped, and that this…this would work. It would work, because if it didn’t, you didn’t know what you would do.

And when he took that first spoonful, you held your breath, watching and waiting. He hummed, nodding his head in satisfaction at the taste, but-

Nothing. There was no miraculous moment of clarity, no realisation in his eyes that he was sat beside his mate. There was nothing but the grateful groans of hungry males and the sound of them slurping up the stew you had made.

It hadn’t worked.

And for some reason, you’d barely been able to look at Lucien for the rest of the night.

“How do we even know Feyre will be at Windhaven?” Silas asked as the group pushed their way further up the mountain, coming to a stop at a flat plane that hung from the side of the steppe, blanketed in forestry.

“We don’t,” Lucien said, shooting you a look that you couldn’t quite place your finger on. Frustration, no doubt, as you had changed the route once again. They still hadn’t given up though, not even after four weeks of endless trekking and any distraction that you could think of. Lucien knew - he had said as much - that you were doing it on purpose, but you prayed he didn’t work out the reason, that you were doing it to keep Feyre hidden from them in the hopes that they would surrender to their exhaustion and head home to tell Tamlin it was a pointless mission.

“But it’s our best hope, right?” Wren interjected, looking between Lucien and you and back again.

“It’s the only lead we have,” Lucien explained, pressing his lips into a tight line. He turned to you fully, coming to a stop. “Do you even know where we’re going?”

“I’ve only been to Windhaven once,” you countered. “And we winnowed there. It’s not like I went trekking through the damned forest.”

Lucien clicked his tongue in annoyance. “This is a waste of time,” he finally said, turning away from you to look out over the forest below, stretching as far as the eye could see, and the mountains that reached upward in the far distance. “It might be our only lead, but we’ve been walking aimlessly here for weeks, wasting precious time.”

“Then let’s go home,” you suggested, reaching forward to take his hand. But when he looked at you, there was fire flashing in his eyes.

“Without Feyre?” He asked. “I know you said that she’s in no danger, that she’s okay. But we have orders, Y/N, to take her back to Spring with us.”

“And if we don’t go to Windhaven, how do you propose we find her?” You countered. The shuffle of awkward feet sounded from the sentinels behind you, but you didn’t pay it any heed. “Do we just keep wandering the wilderness until we find any sign of her?”

Lucien turned to you fully then, shoulders broad and jaw gritted. “If Feyre thought you were in any kind of danger, or needed any kind of help, do you really think she would hesitate to try and find you?” He huffed a breath through his nose. “I know you say that there is no threat to her, but I can’t believe that enough to confirm it to Tamlin, unless I see it with my own eyes first.”

“So, you think I’m a liar?” You asked in disbelief. You didn’t care that Silas and the others were hearing the truth of your opinion on the Night Court, didn’t care if they thought it was true or not.

“No,” Lucien countered. “But I do think you’re keeping something from me - from us - and I’m yet to work out why.”

You breathed out a bitter laugh. “The Night Court is not the place you think it is, Lucien.”

“How can I know that?” Lucien asked, the anger rising in his voice.

“Because you should trust me, just as I trust you,” you snapped in return. “The Night Court is not filled with monsters and enemies. We have a common enemy - Hybern. So please, just trust me on this.”

“Perhaps, if you love it so much, maybe you should stay here then,” Lucien bit back. “You are close to Night’s High Lord after all. Maybe a little too close.”

You stared at him in shock - shock at the words he had thrown at you like weapons. And they hurt like weapons too, as if each and every one of them was a dagger aimed at your heart. Because he wasn’t meant to think of you like that, not now. Not when he knew you wouldn’t fall into any other male’s bed, not when he knew he was the only person you would ever love.

So you spun on your heel, ignoring his shouts of your name and apologies that trailed after you, and stalked into the forest. You didn’t know where you were walking to, only that you needed to get away from him, to get away from the thoughts that were pelting you relentlessly.

'Whore, whore, whore. Dirty whore.'

However, the words eddied and died with every breath, every step away from them that you took. You just needed a minute, and then you would go back and apologise for running them ragged trekking in circles, and would listen to his unending apologies too; you could think of more than a few ways you could make it up to each other that night.

But the rustle of something behind you caused you to freeze. Something was moving in the brush - footsteps sounded, slow and predatory, and they were heading your way. Your hand fell to the amber-encrusted hilt of your sword, and you turned slowly, carefully.

What you saw waiting for you between the trees made your heart stop.

Taglist

Complete: | @loveshineslikethesky | @elleclairez | @lostpirateinwonderland | @judig92 | @old-enough-to-know-better73 | @atrashsith | @chanaaaannel |

Lucien Vanserra: | @luna-foxglove | @lumos-barnes | @cumuluscranium | @dreamlandreader | @enrichmenttimeinmyenclosure | @rachelnicolee | @callmelovergirl |

[skylinesnsunshines]

kiss of life reading: current energies

hi everyone <3 long time no chat, im actually back and happy new year! :'). i apologise for not being consistent and absent this last year, my life has made a 360 and i had a lot going on which caused me to stop focusing on tarot. however, i've been slowly getting into it and i feel like i now have a better grasp on my life so i am now doing readings again. i'll be pickier on who i do readings for but still feel free to send your requests. hope you enjoy! <3

DISCLAIMER: this is all speculative and for entertainment purposes only, so take it with a grain of salt :)

personal readings

(italicised is the card on the bottom of the tarot deck which is meant to represent the subconscious/blind spot of the situation + rx means reversed)

JULIE 🐰

page of cups, page of pentacles, 4 of swords, 7 of pentacles | snake: creation | balance | pleasure

when i was pulling julie's cards, i envisioned her stepping back and learning new skills (could be a new instrument or something like that). i think she's currently in a period of experimentation and learning different skills that aids her in her artistry. the 2 page cards tells me that she's trying out new things outside of her comfort zone and improving the skills she already has. the page of cups details new ideas, which could be tied into kiof's next comeback and how they are brainstorming a concept or idea. with the two pages as well, julie could also be offered many different opportunities, and I feel that she is a bit overwhelmed. she could be in a period of self-reflection and truly asking herself what/who she wants to align herself with as the has multiple opportunities. contrasting the two cards, the 4 of swords details rest, recuperation, meditation, etc. which I could totally see for julie. she could be manifesting an opportunity and is currently in her "receiving" state. the 7 of pentacles on the bottom does indicate that she is working diligently, and putting her head down and focusing on herself and her craft. i feel like julie will really challenge herself this year and we might see a different side of her than what we are used to.

the snake card is interesting to me, as the pages indicate creation, julie is definitely feeding her creative need and focusing on experimentation. the pleasure card tells me that she is enjoying her job and often forgets time as a result. the balance card does tell me that she needs to be mindful of how deep she is in her work, as there is a tendency for her to be burnt out.

NATTY🦦

knight of pentacles rx, strength, hermit, emperor rx | gorilla: peace | rest | flexibility

natty could be focusing on reclaiming her energy and resting. currently, natty could be focusing on self-improvement and creating a routine for herself that helps her achieve her goals. all her cards detail that she is currently in an introspective mood and spending her days recharging herself. the strength card tells me that natty might be struggling with feelings of perfectionism, but the universe wants her to remember that she is capable in overcoming everything that she thinks she is unable to do. i know kiof is planning a comeback next month so i wonder if natty has been feeling burnt out preparing for that. the hermit tells me that natty has been doing a lot of introspection and focusing on herself. natty could be practising or looking to improve her skills herself. the emperor rx tells me that natty's perfectionistic traits could be at a high right now, and that she needs to reign in her need for control as it can be detrimental to her growth.

the gorilla card describes someone who leads by example and focuses on having inner peace for themselves. the rest and flexibility cards tell me that natty could be feeling the need to control and have been focusing on following a rigid routine for the comeback.

BELLE🐥

justice, 2 of cups, 8 of wands, the chariot rx | swan: beauty | strength | trust

currently, belle could be entering a significant relationship in her life. 2 of cups usually depict romance so it could either be a significant partnership in her career (justice deals with the law) or a romantic partnership. either way, the energy seems significant and is progressing at a rapid speed (8 of wands). this could have come out of nowhere, which is what caught belle by surprise, however, the justice card is a good sign as it represents equal reciprocation and effort. the chariot card in reverse on the bottom tells me that belle would subconsciously want to be a bit more cautious in this scenario, due to its fast movement. belle's person could be wanting to move the relationship to a more serious commitment, but belle could be the one that wants to take a slower approach to this relationship.

swan details romance again, this girl could enter her lovergirl era as it reminds us that beauty is subjective and to look for beauty in everything. strength and trust could mean that belle is unsure and wary about this relationship, so the universe just wants to remind her that she has immense personal strength and to trust that she is divinely protected.

HANEUL🦊

the emperor, 2 of pentacles, the world rx, queen of cups rx | snake: creation | confidence | blessings

haneul could be becoming more vocal and demanding (not in a bad way) in her personal life. i have this feeling that haneul is starting to know what makes her happy and what she wants to do career wise. i feel this sense of autonomy has come into haneul as she has experienced life more. the 2 of pentacles signifies juggling between two things, so haneul might be doing lots of work regarding her personal life and career and juggling it well. i also get the feeling that she might receive an increase on her finances from a male figure in her life, my assumption is that she is learning to diversify her skills as an artist and receives more income that way. with the world rx, i feel like haneul is seeking closure on a certain situation. maybe she started a project but it didn't pan out to how she envisioned and she is still holding onto that hope. the queen of cups rx tells me regarding this specific situation, haneul needs to prioritise her feelings and emotions and focus on self-love as i feel like this situation affected her personally.

just like julie, i think haneul is experimenting with her music and what/who she wants to be as an artist. she could be working together with julie when it comes to music or dancing. the confidence tells me that the situation that didn't come into fruition has affected haneul's confidence. i think she could also be experimenting in the next comeback and lost confidence cause its out of her comfort zone. however, the blessings card is a good omen that all the work haneul is doing will benefit her in the future. the blessings card tell me that although haneul might struggle with her confidence or feelings currently, haneul will experience positivity and prosperity soon.

that is all! if you have any feedback, comments, queries or requests please don’t hesitate to reach out to me my ask box is always open. sending you all love, light, positivity and abundance <3 much love

[waywardsou2]

hello, fellow artist! I'm sorry that you're not satisfied with your art, I know the feeling, and it sucks. it may be pretty common for beginners, even for more experienced artists tbh. but I promise that it'll get better soon :)

a tip that I want to give you is to experiment with your art and style. You could even mix things up to create a style for yourself. or stick with your cartoon style. Either way, the best way of improving is practising.

one single "bad" drawing doesn't mean that you should stop doing what you like. practise makes everyone better. you're no exception. get inspiration, use references.. if you keep drawing, you will soon notice the improvement that you'll inevitably do. If you need any tips, advice, or anything else, you're free to ask me!

I hope you have a good day, and sorry if this is an unwanted opinion 🙏

Honestly thank you so much for this. Waking up to see this was kinda nice even if it doesn't fix the feelings I have it makes me feel at least a little better.

I've seen real improvement in my art recently (the main thing is I can draw noses now) and I'm quite proud of it.

But it's taken me three years or so to get my style the way it is and I still can't quite do everything I want. I hear you when you say it takes practice and time but sometimes I get hella impatient. I know how much effort artists have to go to and I U derstand that I need to put that effort in as well.

And tbh I don't think it was just the art that got to me. I think there were a lot of other life things that also got the better of me but the post focused on the thing I was doing at hand.

I know I probably just need to either step away from my art a bit and try and find a new perspective or a I need to double down and work twice as hard to start on the journey of improvement.

I just get disheartened yk.

But honestly thank you. Your message was really kinda and I appreciate it. I would love to chat more if that's ok with you. You seem very kind

[carlimuja]

5 Things Not To Do If You Have Allergic Rhinitis

Allergic rhinitis in Singapore, also known as hay fever, is a common condition that affects millions of people worldwide. It occurs when the immune system overreacts to allergens such as pollen, dust mites, or pet dander, leading to symptoms such as a runny or stuffy nose, sneezing, and itchy eyes. While there are several ways to manage allergic rhinitis, there are also several things that you should avoid doing to prevent symptoms from worsening.

5 THINGS TO DO IF YOU HAVE ALLERGIC RHINITIS

Are you experiencing a runny nose and sneezing without knowing what is happening to you? You might be experiencing hay fever. Many people have it, and you cannot be the only one. But even if many experience this health problem, you should know what to do to see the steps you need to take. To help you, here are things to do if you have allergic rhinitis:

1. AVOID ALLERGENS

The most important thing to do if you have allergic rhinitis is to avoid allergens that trigger your symptoms. For instance, if you are allergic to pollen, try to avoid going outside on days when pollen counts are high. If you are allergic to dust mites, wash your bedding in hot water and vacuum your carpets regularly. If you have a pet allergy, keep your pet out of your bedroom and wash your hands after petting them. By avoiding allergens, you can reduce the severity and frequency of your symptoms.

2. DO NOT SMOKE OR BE AROUND SMOKE

Smoking and exposure to secondhand smoke can irritate the nasal passages and worsen allergic rhinitis symptoms. If you smoke, consider quitting to improve your overall health and reduce the risk of worsening your symptoms. If you get exposed to secondhand smoke, such as in the workplace, consider talking to your employer about creating a smoke-free environment. If you are around friends or family members who smoke, avoid being in the same room or ask them to smoke outside. You must remember this if you will undergo sinusitis treatment in Singapore.

3. DO NOT RUB YOUR EYES

Itchy eyes are a common symptom of allergic rhinitis, but rubbing them can worsen the irritation and lead to more severe symptoms. Rubbing your eyes can also introduce bacteria and other irritants, leading to infections or other complications. Use a cool compress or over-the-counter eye drops to soothe the irritation if your eyes are itchy. If the symptoms persist, talk to your doctor about prescription eye drops or other treatments.

4. DO NOT OVERUSE NASAL SPRAYS

Nasal sprays can provide relief from allergic rhinitis symptoms, but overusing them can worsen your symptoms over time. Using nasal sprays for more than a few days can lead to rebound congestion, which occurs when the nasal passages become more congested than before using the spray. If you need a nasal spray, follow the instructions carefully and only use it as directed. If you have concerns about using nasal sprays, talk to your ENT specialist in Singapore about other treatment options.

5. DO NOT NEGLECT YOUR HEALTH

Allergic rhinitis can affect your overall health and well-being, but neglecting your health can worsen the symptoms. Maintain a healthy diet, exercise regularly, and get enough sleep to support your immune system and reduce stress. Stress can worsen allergic rhinitis symptoms, so consider practising relaxation techniques such as meditation or yoga. Also, stay hydrated and avoid alcohol, which can dehydrate the body and worsen nasal congestion.

Allergic rhinitis can be a frustrating and uncomfortable condition, but there are several things you can do to manage your symptoms. By following these tips, you can reduce the severity and frequency of your symptoms and improve your overall quality of life. If you have concerns about your signs or need help managing your allergic rhinitis, talk to your ENT doctor in Singapore or visit the website of Dr Jenica Yong for personalised advice and treatment options.

[1ndonlyhawa]

Summer Glow Up Guide

Summer vacations have started for most people, meaning it's the perfect time to start working on yourself, adopt new habits and improve your health. You guys asked me for a glow-up guide, so here we go! <3

Eating healthier, let's be real; we all know that the first step to a healthy glow is a healthy diet. Try adding some smoothies, proteins (like yogurt, chicken, tofu...), and healthy fats (avocados, nuts...) to your meals.

Skincare. Now is the perfect time to try some new products! My favorite brands are The Ordinary, La Roche Posay, Pixi, Lancome, and Neutrogena.

Meditation, 5-10 minutes in the morning, is enough; it helps you to focus, calm down and be mindful. You can find guided meditation videos on youtube.

New Hairstyle, get a new haircut, and try some new styles! (inspo on my Pinterest)

Journaling, I started journaling not too long ago and love it! It helps me plan my day and get things out of my mind.

Haircare, get a trim, and say bye to your split ends! you can also try some new products; I personally like Lush and Olaplex. (let me know if you want a long hair guide <3)

Practise your make-up skills! Something that helped me improve was practising right before I shower, so I can just wash it off!

Deep cleaning rooms, vacuum, clean your windows, empty your trash, and so on...

Get a manicure, I'm personally a long acrylics type of girl, but even if that's not your thing, a simple manicure makes a HUGE difference. Clean nails are a must!!

Drinking more, I probably don't have to tell you that, lol.

Self-tan contour, not having to wear make-up is such a flex so let's just fake that make-up-less beauty by contouring with self-tanner ;)

New outfits that fit, it's time to get some new stuff that makes you feel beautiful and confident!

Exercising and getting toned feels awesome! try some youtube workouts; my favourites are from Daisy Keech, she's so sweet <3

New jewellery, get some cute signature pieces; you can also look for some unique pieces while on vacation and keep them as memories.

Fresh Instagram feed, go and take some pictures! You can look for inspiration on my Pinterest; I have a board called 'Pictures to recreate' that might be helpful!

Find a signature scent; this is something fun you can do with your friends! Go to Sephora and just try perfumes until you find one that fits you.

Sleep schedule, even though it's tempting to stay up late, now is the perfect time to fix your sleep schedule.

Go out every day, go for a walk, listen to a podcast, take some pictures, you know it...

Read more; it really calms your mind and helps you relax.

Facemasks, I do face masks at least twice a week

Be nicer

Down below I also listed some 'Challenge Days' that you can try when you don't have anything planned and don't want to waste your day!

•┈••✦ Self-care-day  ✦••┈•

meditate + exercise

bubble bath

exfoliate

shave (if you like)

hair care

skincare (morning + evening)

try the self-tan contour

get your nails done

lotion

healthy meals

don't skip breakfast (My favourite meal!)

read Something

call a friend

go on a walk + listen to music or a podcast

track your water intake

go to sleep early

•┈••✦ Deep clean day ✦••┈•

throw away everything that doesn't fit you anymore

throw away old makeup (IT CAN EXPIRE)

change your bed sheets

vacuumed the floor

clean your windows

clean every surface

empty your trash

re-organize your closet

do your laundry

clean all your shoes

delete all the apps you don't use

clean your camera roll

get a carpet cleaner and clean your carpets

wash all your pillowcases

[fumikomiyasaki]

“Great job out there, [name]!”

With Daniel and Inessa :3

“That outfit looks fantastic on you!”

With Asif and Yuzuha!

“You have a really nice smile.”

With Vivienne and Mellow :)

Love language

Today was the day she practised for... she eyes this ice skating tournament for a while and also hoped Dragiselle would watch her on the screen from her room... even if she wished she could have come with her... before going out she adjusted her sidetail and looked around... just to spot one face familiar.

"So I was right that you would be my competition one day?"

"Well I moreso joined this for fun really... but its nice to see you, Nessa."

"Already skipping to Nicknames? I will surely make you regret if you take me lightly."

"I am moreso curious how you do without me... I am sure it be interesting to see."

The announcer called out her name as she took a deep breath and stepped onto the ice... the landings, the spins... everything about her was gracefull and calculated but... maybe even a bit too serious.... the jury could see. In the end she got a total score of 9.1... but to her she pouted a little about it.

"Great job out there, Inessa!"

"To me it was not enough... what could I improve..."

"How about you watch me and maybe get an idea?"

She glared a little at him as he swiftly walked onto the ice... yet as he stared his run... her eyes were glued to him... the charisma... the swiftness... he was far more into the emotion and character of the song... there was small mistakes but the Jury itself was far more entertained and awake... in the end he got an 9.5... and so he gained first place and she second among this whole event...

After the event celebrations was done he was a little surprised to feel her grab him by the collar to look at her.

"You need to teach me! I have to know your secrets."

"Nessa... what you need first is to calm down and take it easy, alright... I gladly want to teach you but... you first need to learn how to stress down and control your emotions."

She let her hand go... but somewhat her eyes still lingered up at him... she didn't notice how close she got in that emotional outburst, a bit of red on her face showed it well.

"Cute~"

"Oh shut up... anyway I am glad you accept my proposal but I will try to calm down."

"How about the same as last time? We eat something and then we do some skating together... then I can show you the things you are missing on ice. Cause you have the talent but... you still need to learn to be less of an ice queen. Ouch-"

She lightly punched his arm "Don't call me that... fine... lets go together."

She didn't want to admit that smile of his at hers was kinda handsome to her... her feelings were a mess all over the place... how was he so mesmerizing not only on ice but outside... wasn't she in love with Dragiselle more... she shook off that feeling for now... and followed after him.

On that day Yuzuha spend most time sorting out his closet given a lot of things he simply didn't need anymore or they didn't fit him... he was surprised as Asif stopped by to visit him, reading to him some of the stuff he wrote while he sorted stuff but after a while he was curious too what Yuzuha was throwing away.

"Is that... a bunny suit?"

"I did tell you what I did before, right?"

A blush spread across his face.

"R-right... but... I do am curious why this one doesn't fit."

A smirk appeared on the glasses wearing mans face.

"Oh you want me to model some of these for you?~ I wouldn't mind it."

And so Asif sat back often avoiding his eyes once he changed but the surprise on each look on him was for one embarassing but also he looked kinda good in it.

"The problem with the bunny suit was really just my upper body kinda destroys it but... maybe you could-"

"N-no its fine... I don't think it would look good on me... the next one."

One thing Asif picked out for him got him to gush... it was like a fancy robe paired with the headpiece it made him look more regal and royal than anything.

"That outfit looks fantastic on you! You look like a prince!"

"If thats what you like... I will keep it..." He put his arms around his lips pulling him close... as Asif tugged the hair that usually covered Yuzuhas eyes to the side.

"Your eyes really are so pretty... like glass..."

"Tch... I don't like them as much... they remind me of my mother and... I don't want to remember her... but say~"

To Asifs surprise Yuzuha used the opportunity to catch him off guard and let them both fall onto the bed, stroking his face.

"I could also tell you a lot of things I find pretty on you... after all you are the reason I hate this world less than before... you make it worth living in."

"Yuzu..."

"How about we take a break... or do you wanna model for me instead?"

"Um... I'll think about it."

Yuzuha leaned over him to kiss down his neck a little... he could get a little reward for all the work... at least for now. He just loved seeing him blush for him.

Autumn leaves fell down as Mellow relaxed under a tree sketching... at first he wanted to draw simple things like leaves and mushrooms but eventually his head was lost in daydream... he got distracted by a thought... the last time he met Vivienne and assisted her as dance partner... he hid his face in his scarf as he sketched away self indulgent a small portrait of her... before sighing closing his sketch book and leaning back on the bench... holding it in his arms... but suddenly he was surprised by the same person he sketched before.. as he almost accidentally hit the back of his head and trying to not fall off the bench.

"You look panicked Mellow, are you alright?"

"S-sorry you just... jumpscared me a little."

"My bad... I just wanted to surprise you."

He offered a seat next to him on the bench as she sat down with him.

"I just saw you smile to yourself when you sketched. You have a really nice smile!"

His face couldn't get anymore redder than he already was but panic made things worse for him and he dropped his sketchbook... she picked it up for him and scrolled through it but thanks to that... she also saw his portrait attempt blushing as well.

"You tried to draw me? Its incredible."

"I... um... I... I-it was supposed to be a gift... as thank you for... umm..."

How could he explain himself without his crush on her seeming obvious but luckily she noticed how fidgetty he was and put a hand on his shoulder.

"I love it regardless of the reason... I would be happy that if you ever finish it I can see it."

"O-okay... then I will share it with you. B-but actually... it wasn't the only sketch I did."

He turned the page to another finished piece... one with her in a princess dress... a gasp escaped her before she hugged him... not knowing what it will do for him as he just fainted sitting down.

"Mellow, are you alright? Mellow!"

He snapped back after a minute but it was still hard for him to speak normally.

"A-anyways I a-am happy you like them..."

"They are just.... I am stunned by how pretty they are... that you drew me so well... you really are amazing."

He hid behind his notebook he needed to leave or else his heart will burst out his chest.

"U-um sorry but I gotta leave right now... the dorm leader needs me but... I will give you both sketches n-next time okay."

She hit him with a smile that almost made him faint again as she looked at him.

"I look forward to it, Mellow."