#c:/sgos/users/gold

[goldstargloww]

is there any actual confirmation that the secret keeper assigns tasks randomly? because i'm not convinced

so—at the very least, the secret keeper knows who a task is being assigned to. we know this because tasks can involve specific other players. skizz needing to stay near gem, tango needing to get scar to talk about star wars, mumbo needing to become etho's best friend. if the secret keeper didn't know who they were giving a task to, someone could get a task involving themselves

but beyond that, the tasks still feel like they're personalized, to me

both grian and mumbo getting pun making tasks, when they're both essentially inseperable

grian needing to move front doors, when stealing them was his whole thing in hermitcraft season 7

martyn, the least confident in his building abilities on the server, getting a building task, and then needing to get it burnt down next session

both of scar's session one tasks being nickname related

mumbo needing to become best friends with etho when mumbo still fanboys over him

skizz needing to stay near specifically gem

bdubs, a builder, getting a task to build something incredibly uncomfortable

joel being the one to get the task to plug the life merch

...like. they just feel personalized. and i don't think it's ever been confirmed that they're randomly assigned. i'm not convinced they are

[emojistargloww]

planet symbols and stuff :>

[goldstargloww]

okay, so yes, this idea, i very much enjoy this idea, but- i might be about to derail this a bit

now take the eyesandears stuff back into the picture.

this, the stuff i'm reblogging here, this is close to what everyone is experiencing. what everyone's going through, what everyone thinks is going on.

they're all in a loop of death games. they have no idea why. they have to participate. sometimes they're left out of the loop. some don't get a break. sometimes people act off for a week. some people hurt, some people kill, some people betray, lie, gaslight, manipulate, and you aren't any different.

you don't know why you're here. you don't know why this is all happening. you don't know who did this. you don't know if anyone did. but it's all just a game, and you all treat it as such, until it isn't anymore and you all die and then all of a sudden it's a game again.

say you're martyn, though - there's voices in your head sometimes. they promise you the world and you do what they ask. you do as they say against your better judgement and it gets you nothing in the end. the one time they drop the veil and reveal the slightest bit about the reality of your situation, you don't remember it, not in the slightest. all you know is that you were promised the world and it never amounted to anything, and you haven't heard those voices since. maybe limited life felt a bit strange at times, but everything feels a bit strange.

say you're grian, though - you know what's going on. or, you know all you can. there's still things you don't know, nothing's in your control—you just hope you can make it more bearable for everything else. maybe it hurts in the process, but you'd rather be here than watch from afar. and void knows they hate you for it—they've even managed to paralyze you for a week, but they made a mistake in making you one of them, and so their efforts are essentially futile.

say you're pearl, though - your memories of a week feel a bit strange, and you were acting a bit off that week. you don't have any clue as to what that was. you don't know why joel called you lizzie that week.

say you're cleo, though - your memories of a week feel a bit strange. your behavior changed that week quite a bit, too. and didn't martyn mess with you? you went along with it for some reason, and were worried he was being genuine. ...what?

say you're tango, though - you're shoved to the side of your head for a week. someone familiar was in the driver's seat instead. by the time next week comes around, you just think you had a weird week. that person you were talking to was probably just torchy.

say you're lizzie, though - you find yourself in a familiar game in a familiar body that isn't your own with memories that aren't yours either. you try to blend in for the week, not knowing what else to do. someone else is in the same boat as you, you recognize both their vessel and who they really are, despite the vaguest and foggiest of memories being all you have of them to go off of. you live out the week, and by the end of it, you remember none of it.

say you're gem, though - you find yourself in an unfamiliar game in a somewhat familiar body that isn't your own with memories that aren't yours either. you barely know anything, but you try your best to blend in for the week, not knowing what else to do. there's someone else who you can tell is in a similar boat, and you very vaguely recognize them. you live out the week, and by the end of it, you remember none of it.

say you're ren, though - you were in these death games, then you just weren't, for a bit. then all of a sudden, you were again, in a familiar yet completely new environment. the first time you see martyn is when he drops an anvil on your head. you almost wonder what's changed until you remember the person whose body you're inhabiting is currently in passenger's seat of their own head, and that you're in the driver's seat, and this isn't your vessel. you live out the week, and people ask questions, but they're ones you know how to navigate. by the end of it, you remember none of it.

nobody has anywhere near enough pieces to put the whole picture together. grian's probably the closest, but even he doesn't know the vast majority of it - he has no idea what else may be in the picture, he has no idea to what extent the watchers are interacting, he barely knows what the secret keeper is and how it really works.

to almost everyone, the games are just as they seem on the surface. only a few have broken beneath in the slightest—none of it was by choice, none of it puts anything into context. after all, if they all really were just playthings for some higher entity, some toys two godlike siblings fight over... well, that wouldn't happen, right? they aren't that important. that's just absurd, who would even think to guess that?

Life series lore is insane, but especially if you take most of the ‘understood’ Watcher and Listener lore out.

Because here’s the thing, I love ‘the watchers are just the audience’ and ‘Grian used to be a watcher’ and ‘they Pushed Jimmy!’ As much as anyone else. But there is something so much more terrifying about them never being there.

You are trapped in a loop of death, where dying is treated like a Game, where the world Ending is treated like a game. And there is no one to blame.

You’re neighbor turns on you, angry and vicious, and there was no possession. There were no voices in their head.

You wake up in a ring of people that are your closest friends, your greatest enemies, the only real beings you have ever met, and you are going to kill them all or be killed by them before the year is up. There is no one that put you there. There is no one to fight.

You are here of your own volition. You have known nothing else. It’s always been this way. The universe itself is keeping you here.

(There is no reward to winning. There is no escape when this is all there is. It is just all of you and you’re own bloody hands clutching each others)

[goldstargloww]

i've started to collect screenshots of people spying on you and it's mostly just martyn actually

this is all i have in my head right now

[goldstargloww]

thinking about c!martyn and selfishness

(every name from now on is character unless specified otherwise)

from his perspective, it makes sense. i mean, none of them are real, right? they either aren't real, or they are and they're out to get him. and we don't know if that's true or not, either

and if they're not real, why should he care about morality? just to get an advantage, really. the only reasons he has to be nice to people is if doing so would benefit him. because they don't care, they aren't real. they're just coded to seem as if they do, as if they are. and maybe sometimes it works and it feels painfully real, but they aren't, in the end—they're all just code. it's all a façade, it's all fake, it's not real.

and yet��

graecie: yknow.. maybe.. it's because it matches the energy that you give to it. d'you ever think about that?

graecie: do you ever think about how a little bit of kindness can go a long way, in these seas.

martyn: we've tried that, it doesn't get us anywhere.

gracie: have you? have you tried that? have you tried that, really? have both of you tried that?

martyn: from day dot! first thing that happened when i got here was i got swindled by scar!

martyn: then there was all this factioning business, we saw aimsey literally perish, and everyone was just "ohhh i think we'll listen to the robed figures and we'll just leave"! nobody's tried anything to save one another here, it's just all been selfish, me me me me me, gold gold gold, glory glory glory, HONOUR HONOUR HONOUR!

kuervo: maybe you shouldn't've joined the kestrels if you cared about something that wasn't glory, and money, and selfishness.

—he doesn't like it when others are selfish. because they're supposed to behave like everyone is real. they should be nicer people, they should be better, they don't have an excuse like martyn's.

sausage: wait, what do you think it meant that we have to give up something?

martyn: oh, i don't even know

graecie: i don't know...

martyn: i don't love anything, so good luck finding what i like

(acho, graecie, and sausage laugh,, nervously? sympathetically?)

acho: that's not very good!

martyn: well, it's not good, it's just- i'm doing it for my own protection

acho: that's not something to be proud of!

martyn: i wasn- i wasn't bragging about it, i was just stating a fact!

acho: ah, okay yeah, fair enough, fair enough... ^^"

and he's tired of trusting people without reason, of getting taken advantage of, of being nice just to end up worse off in the end.

and he doesn't get attached to anything or anyone, because there's a very real chance he'll lose it, especially in his circumstances. and feeling any sort of attachment is dangerous.

(apo places lava on graecie and then removes it)

apo: oh, i'm-

graecie: ...

apo: water, water, water-

martyn: why should i?

apo: water, water, water, water, WATER!

martyn: there's plenty of water all around this island!

kuervo: i don't have water. are you gonna be okay?

graecie: yeah. i'll be fine

apo: i'm so...

apo: i'm so sorry.

graecie: are you?

martyn: you can stay with them, apo, if you're gonna be like that.

(martyn goes to and gets on his boat and sails away)

martyn: i don't have to deal with this.

martyn: i've got the stone. i've got a lead. i know cruppy's trigger word now, so if it ever decides to come near me again... can easily get rid of it.

martyn: idiots. all of em.

and he's happily petty and stubborn about things. he happily takes advantage of others' discomfort to get them to do what he wants or at least lower their confidence in doing anything else.

martyn knows how to trigger cruppy, even, and has no problems with utilizing cruppy's triggers (and what is very possibly trauma) to get what he wants.

and as much as cruppy may have done some shit, as much as cruppy is a perfectly reasonable thing to worry about—cruppy doesn't act out of pure unprompted malice, and definitely doesn't deserve to be tortured and triggered over and over again.

and i don't doubt that martyn knows this. he's able to identify trauma responses—both others', and his own:

martyn:

she's dead?

...wait, hold on. what?

when did marnie die?

how did marnie die?

.. was i there when that happened?

.. i don't think i was there when marnie died..

...

oh my god, you're right, yeah- oh, my god, i can't believe i forgot about that

yeah, she was in the hole, wasn't she? she was in the hole and she was a statue in the hole

ohhh, you're right

god, i completely repressed that

that was clearly too much for me, jeez...

—he's able to effectively utilize that knowledge to get what he wants. i think martyn is aware that what he is or at least was doing is wrong.

i just think he doesn't care that it's wrong. because if nobody else is real, if nobody else is actually experiencing any of this, then it isn't wrong, right?

martyn knows he's manipulative, he knows how to gaslight and knows he's good at it, and he's not afraid to utilize that.

martyn is his own top priority. he'll do what he has to to get what he needs. it isn't actually harming anyone, from his perspective. it just looks like it is. they aren't real, it doesn't actually cause harm.

(it's what martyn tells himself, at the very least. it's not like he can concretely tell, it's not like he can confirm. but he'd rather believe they aren't real than are, because if they are... well, he's a bit too deep into this mess to worry about that now, isn't he?)

[goldstargloww]

i really need to talk about my watcher/listener alignment headcanon system don't i? well here we go

so, within eyesandears, we all know grian's a watcher, yeah? and canonically, none of the other players in the life series are watchers or listeners—grian's a special case here.

but there's also pretty popular headcanons, where people like martyn and jimmy are listeners, pearl and bigb are watchers, stuff like that. different people headcanon different things for different characters—those're just the most common ones i've seen

now, i like this idea,, kinda. i like my headcanons to be compatible with canon (and here i'm treating eyesandears as canon). it throws me off when the headcanons contradict canon, so i don't like my headcanons to do that

so, i've come up with a system that's a compromise between those headcanons and canon, which is that players can be watcher/listener aligned, and there's subcategories within those as well :>

first thing i want to note is that just because grian is a watcher doesn't mean he has to be watcher aligned or that he can't be listener aligned. the divide between watchers and listeners is more of a behavior/identity thing afaik, and grian isn't all that watchery socially.

so, i think that, generally speaking, players can be watcher/listener aligned, and then within those, compliant/noncompliant. compliant watcher aligned, noncompliant watcher aligned, compliant listener aligned, noncompliant listener aligned.

watcher aligned

i don't have as much notes on watcher aligned players as i do listener aligned ones and i don't really know why lol, i guess they're just a bit simpler than listener aligned players?

compliant

compliant watcher aligned players tend to play the games most closely to intended. they give the watchers what they want, however unknowingly, and they enjoy it. they enjoy the chaos, they enjoy the destruction, and it's not surprising if they're the catalyst.

noncompliant

noncompliant watcher aligned players more or less play by the rules, but they'll bend them a bit for fun. they'll make illegal kills for the chaos and entertainment, and often go further than they intend to, but they do so anyway because the fun outweighs the guilt.

listener aligned

i like to think that the compliant versus noncompliant categories resemble the listeners' journey as a separate entity from the watchers.

the listeners used to be watchers themselves, and later split off of them, working against them. compliant listener aligned players are most like the listeners at the start of that journey, and noncompliant listener aligned players are more like the listeners today.

compliant

compliant listener aligned players tend to function almost like a tool for the watchers—they listen, they do as they're told, they obey, they comply. they have a hard time disobeying the rules, disobeying the watchers, even if they want to, and this also tends to be out of fear of consequence.

martyn would be a compliant listener aligned player, for example—he's told by the watchers to kill, to betray, to set up things with the intention of destruction. and he follows through, or tries to, because he's scared (at least definitely scared in last life) of the consequences if he doesn't. even when he wasn't consciously aware of the watchers in any capacity interacting with him in limited life, he still did as they wanted.

these players tend to be more of a threat to the server, as they tend to be fairly destructive. so as a result, they're also threatened more themselves as other players know they're a threat and do what they can to protect themselves, so compliant listener aligned players often end up being targeted or considered dangerous.

noncompliant

noncompliant listener aligned players function more like the listeners themselves do in relation to the watchers, i'd say. they only loosely play within the rules, but play along enough to stay alive and enough so that they aren't harshly punished (some comply with them more than others tho)

some play the games out of spite, some play for fun. either way, they don't give the watchers what they want without tainting it in some way is my thought

these players tend to not kill without sufficient reason, and many don't kill much at all. when they kill, it's usually out of necessity, survival, or it's justified—they don't kill for the thrill, they don't kill for the fun of it. they aren't as affected by bloodlust as others either

they have a tendency to not take the games seriously, instead focusing on fun and enjoyment, creating things they enjoy and the like - scott and jimmy, for example, in third life, built cute houses in a flower valley, whereas everyone else built and lived in castles and fortresses lol. scott in particular's priorities always include his base looking nice

the watchers tend to dislike these players, especially the more defiant they are. scott, for example, the watchers hate scott and have since last life

if anyone has anything to add or say please do so i'd love to hear other people's thoughts on this stuff :D

[goldstargloww]

martyn's habit of not sleeping for the first session of each season in the life series is really funny to me because it means i get to imagine a sleep deprived c!martyn doing all the things he does

(assuming like. players only need to sleep once every three days or something. because someone going nine days without sleep is pretty concerning and is also two days short of world record. so.)

like, third life, ah yes i am going to not sleep for nine days as a marketing strategy, this is a great idea (proceeds to bring phantoms to harass everyone ever and totally not trip and fall multiple times)

the idea of martyn's experience with the aha jokes being fueled by something like six days of sleep deprivation is also really funny to me

double life going to the nether with pearl, who's essentially half nocturnal, and neither of them sleep the whole time for the fun of it

i like to imagine martyn still didn't sleep until he'd made up and teamed up with scott in limited life session 2, and then scott's just like martyn. sleep. and martyn's like finenefjlshgskdfghdfjgkd

ahhh the first session of secret life. yeah i can see martyn going without sleep for the entirety of that. he did also say he just wanted to go to bed after he completed his task so i guess i have that going for this headcanon lol

[goldstargloww]

love how martyn won last season, and then had one literal hell of a time this one. the watchers really went all in on that fall from limited life's ending on a high oh c!martyn, you do so much falling in so many ways

this is literally the worst martyn's ever done (cc!martyn im sorry lmao) and i'm thinking about it so hard

he started off so close yet so far. then was told to do one thing right and got so close just to fail in the end. then was separated from and shunned by nearly everyone before he gave it one last shot and couldn't do anything about his death. then he tried again, and so much history seemed to repeat itself, and then at the end he breaks a cycle and takes the win for himself, even if it wasn't entirely him making the decision.

and then he fell so fucking far. went down and down and down and fell into the void not a second after stepping foot into the end. and jimmy followed. and then jimmy died, and everyone martyn cared about died, and he slowly started to as well.

he wanted to get revenge. he tried. it just didn't work out. nothing he tried worked out. there were blips of success, maybe something finally working, but everyone who was close wasn't close enough. wasn't close enough to the trap. wasn't close enough to death. wasn't close enough with martyn.

so maybe by the end, martyn's sort of given up. and there's this pressure on him, like he's running out of time, eerily reminiscent of last season. everyone and everything is going too slow for his liking and there's something making martyn feel like he's gonna die if he doesn't.. well, die already. however that logic works. (yes this is how i'm making cc!martyn's stress and stuff from the recording situation canon)

so maybe by the end, martyn's getting a bit desperate. maybe if he just dies before this feeling kills him first he can get it all over with. this season's been its own kind of hell anyway.

so maybe by the end, martyn's distracted, and out of it, and falls off a few too many cliffs to chalk up to pure coincidence. and hypervigilant, and jumpy, and stressed, and the thunder and associated memories really only makes it worse. and maybe a bit too reckless for his own good, hoping everyone will turn against him and kill him, climbing up a ladder without armor with an explosive in hand to his inevitable demise.

and maybe, in the end, it gets him killed. but, really, what else is new? martyn always seems to cause his own death. like he's his own worst enemy. he was too loyal, too obedient, too selfish, too bloodthirsty, and now, too reckless.

and now, back he goes, to falling.

[goldstargloww]

hi i just had a thought

joel started the round mound cult right. and mumbo and martyn joined

now mumbo's dead. and joel and martyn are the only ones who really seem to care (as of session 6 at least) about mumbo (and jimmy and lizzie) having died and that whole situation

they've most definitely forgotten about the cult by now but. but,,, only mumbo's fellow cult members are really mourning him huh

(that's certainly a perfectly normal sentence in every context /s)

[goldstargloww]

oh i have some examples

"you need more calcium. It was a hoodie."

"most common cause of orphans, family's exploded"

"if you have too many children, just microwave some"

"what does a cooked void look like"

"i am back, sorry just a bit busy and currently shitting" "thats the funniest shit ive heard today" "you heard it? damn"

"invades your brain with my gays. enjoy" "yeah you've been kicked out by drugs again. sorry"

The people I hang out with say the most out of pocket shit ever and that's why I hang out with them

[goldstargloww]

just- okay. i've only had time to watch martyn's 3rd secret life session so far and i wanna just talk about the stuff i've noticed

scott having to get three people to say "love you" back after jimmy not doing so in limited life. and then jimmy and martyn, scott's two canonical partners failing to do so this time around

property police and task force,, martyn + jimmy have a tendency for this kinda thing hmmm

martyn showing up in his pirates skin by accident is very funny to me (for context he was doing a pirates lore stream and had to rush off to record secret life)

i noticed that martyn immediately preferred a sword over and axe and although it's a common sentiment my brain still is like hey thats the red winter trauma right

martyn is somehow now a cat and a dog. this makes him a kittydog.

[goldstargloww]

hmm, thinking about gem specifically being the one to open the end portal

evolutionists having,,, bad connotations with the end

everyone else having been in the death games before

gem being new and getting the task to open it, and not questioning it

i don't know if gem knows you normally don't have access to the end in these games, that this is new. hm

[goldstargloww]

c!martyn definitely has some sorta dissociation and derealization problems btw. just feel like i need to say that somewhere

for the life series - his end of secret life session 6. last life. just- last life, especially with the shadow and stuff. also, the emotional resets between seasons, that's gotta create some sort of disconnect with identifying with your own memories, right? especially when it's inconsistent like it is.

for datastream - simply the fact that his reality isn't real, how do you not get feelings of unreality when that's literally what you're living, as contradictory as it sounds

just, in general - trauma, c!martyn has a lot of trauma lmao. and the trying to emotionally distance himself and failing over and over and yet telling himself he isn't attached despite feeling things that he shouldn't if that were true. separating his personal reality from the reality he's living in, and in the case of datastream, both of which are entirely separate from the reality he's native to

[goldstargloww]

i'm 100% headcanoning that secret life martyn is a cat trying to brand himself as a dog btw

[emojistargloww]

yoyoyo hiya my gay

random emote suggestion, but maybe chewing on wings stim? i used to chew on my costume wings as a stim

yes helo my gayy :D here ya go :>

[emojistargloww]

Like tail wagging, faces (with worded noises / onomatopoeia like “rumble~” or “purr~”), and affection like petting - Night Fury enjoyer / kin <3

hihelo :D sorry this took a day or so lol, my wifi went out last night when i remembered i had this request and i was using my computer using my phone's hotspot. i was watching twitch vods at 160p it was painful

but! i did them :D i've never drawn night furies before until now lol, i also made a Lot of variations so there's a lot of them hahah

i did a few humanoid versions too ^^