#cain you and him

[lavender-teardroplettes]

Is there anything cuter and more intimate than lighting your cigarette with an indirect kiss?

Small moments between Cain and Rus that I think about far too often. 🥰

[non-binary-lil-star]

Hc all the batkids decide to give Bruce Happy Mothers day as a prank

. Dick comes up with the idea and gets everyone to sign a Happy Mother's Day card that he made

. Jason buys him a watch with a small card saying "Happy Mother's day, loser"

. Cass buys him a mug that says "Best Mother in the world" (Shiva will later find out and fistfight Bruce because of it)

. Tim makes a gadget that Bruce had projected but had no time to actually build, and leaves it on his desk in a small gift box

. Duke has No Idea how other people are going about the prank and decides to buy him flowers

. Damian paints Martha Wayne (Tim helps by finding him several reference pictures)

They all think they're going to make Bruce Very Uncomfortable. Because well, he's not a mother. He's their father. Guys, Bruce starts sobbing by the end of the day. He hugs them and won't let go. Plan sucessfully backfired.

[matimatti]

The vigilante dating world is, perhaps, a bit too small

[prlssprfctn]

Batsiblings convince Jason to get himself a cooking Tiktok account, and he gives in. To his surprise, he quickly gains millions of followers and a loyal auditory. The only problem? Jason has no idea that these people came here not necessary for recipes.

Jason: Geez, my followers had been pissing me off lately.

Dick, confused: Huh? Why?

Jason: They keep commenting ATE. Like, dude? Fucking where? I am not eating in my cooking videos. What is the fucking point?

Tim, choking: Oh my fucking God-

Jason, making an angry text post for his followers: YOU ALL. STOP COMMENTING "RAW". MY MEAT IS NOT RAW. I AM A PROPER COOK. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???

Cassandra: Maybe it is time to tell him...

Tim, Steph, Duke, in unison: NO

Bruce, awkwardly trying to have a conversation with Jason: Hey, lad, how is your cooking blog is going?

Jason: Uh, people keep commenting cryptid messages. Like, the last time I was showing the right way to tenderise meat for chops because apparently it wasn't clear and someone requested the whole video? Anyway, I did it, and the whole comment section was writing me "in bed, on the floor, on the couch, on a chair, against the wall, against the window, against the door"... Like, why would I do that, not in the kitchen?

Bruce, no less clueless: Maybe it some kind of challenge. Kids love trying new stuff in extreme places nowadays.

Jason: Huh. Maybe. Thanks.

Bruce, just proud to have a proper conversation and somehow a help: Anytime, Jaylad!

Damian, who was unblissfully educated on the slang matter by Tim (because it was his responsibility as a big brother to traumatise him), with his eye twitching: ...None of these words were in Quran

[fanaticalthings]

Bruce Wayne except he texts like an ominous boomer

wdym you can't tell if he's threatening them?

Based on this post by @mysterycitrus :)

<- Prev Masterlist Next ->

Bonus:

Happy birthday, Tim 🥰

[siriusly-dc]

The boys are fighting

Tim: AT LEAST I DONT STAB PEOPLE FOR HAVING A DIFFERENT FAVOURITE CEREAL

Damian: YEAH WELL FATHER SHOULD HAVE ABORTED YOU AND YOUR WRONG OPINIONS

*silence*

Dick:… Dami… did you forget that Tim’s adopted

Jason: this is the best day of my life

Duke: right of passage I fear

Bruce: *is on concussion number five of the week and it’s only Wednesday trying to remember if he gave birth to Tim or not* what?

Just the Batkids forgetting that most of them are adopted when fighting

Bruce birthed those kids r u kidding me they all look like freaky ass clones of him

[izzi-rads]

yeah man

[noodles-and-tea]

Non-speaking Cass joins the fray (Tim is confused)

[fact-dogsarehappiness]

Another reason why I’m a firm believer in letting Bruce get old is because the idea of him looking and his dark haired children without his glasses on and genuinely not being able to tell them apart is unparalleled

[everwalldigan]

I love the idea of all the robins kinda being clones of each other with just a few differences and a concussed Bruce not being able to tell who he’s squinting at so he just says generic statements and avoids saying any names

Bruce (sitting at the breakfast table): so… how’s the weather… dick?

Jason (grinning): you do know I’m gonna hold this against you for like, the next 2 months right

Bruce: (groans into his hands)

Bruce (walking into the living room): hey have you read through the files I gave you yesterday?

Dick: (confused cause he took a day off to surprise Bruce) ?

Bruce: so?

Dick: er… no?

Bruce: Dick?? What are you doing here?

Bruce (walks into the kitchen with a fresh concussion): Jason? I thought you were on a mission with the outlaws?

Tim: (frozen through mid fridge raid, having assumed they were past Bruce calling him Jason since yk. He’s a shit brickhouse now and Tim is, well, obviously not): uh?

Bruce: *turns around and leaves*

Bruce: Oh hey Cass, when did you arrive from Babs’?

Damian: (slowly turns around in the black hoodie he’s wearing) we’re not even the same gender

Bruce: (under his breath) yeah but the same height

[lavender-teardroplettes]

Naptime is sacred in this household, so it's a good thing that Daisy Mae's a good sleeper!

Can't draw one twin being cute with their husband without drawing the other too. 🤭💚

alt with no filter below the cut!

[moonilit]

Bruce’s Goth furry Aesthetic VS Dick’s flamboyant Disco Noir aesthetic: Fight.

Idk I say we let Dick make it

[deeranddragons]

Astarion’s first impressions of my tav Cain, because playing a good aligned paladin with a charlatan background is really, truly, deeply hilarious. I loved lying at every possible opportunity to make my life easier. I wish there wasn’t a cap on inspiration points because I was getting it left and right from cain and astarion combined.

[aaa-totodile]

Batkids being asked who they think Bruce’s favorite is:

Dick: “Either Cass or Jason, though I’m leaning more towards Cass, Bruce has always been a girl dad”

Jason: “Cass, that’s his daughter”

Tim: “Jason. … Did I answer that to quickly? If it’s any consolation I think Dick has a chance.”

Cass: *sign for bat and then sun* “Duke, he’s special”

Steph: “I’m not one of his kids so I don’t know why I’m here, but I’d say Tim or Cass cause they’re my favorites. I would include Duke in this list but he wronged me” *checks watch* “12 hours ago.”

Duke: “Probably Dick, but neither of them know it cause they’re blind when it comes to eachother. I also think Cass, but I think everyone else is going to say Cass so I’m trying to give us a higher chance of getting it right.”

Damian: “Richard or myself, but I believe Cassandra would be a promising candidate.”

—|—

Bruce: “Who ever is making me worried or aggravated the least at the given moment I’m asked. Right now it’s Dick because he’s been in New York for two weeks with the titans. Jason would also be in the running but he blew up a building ten days ago for no reason. They’ve all done something they shouldn’t have in the last forty eight hours.”

[fanaticalthings]

next thing you're gonna tell me is that the butts match 🙄

<- Prev Masterlist Next ->

[rainpunk07]

hear me out, danny speaking russian (dc x dp hc)

so i was just watching a video about space, right? allegedly, turns out if you (an american) wanna board the international space station you must speak russian fluently since the only way to get there is by a russian shuttle and pilot (nasa apparently ended their own shuttle program way back when??) (don’t quote me on this)

so picture danny learning russian at a relatively young age for the sole hope of going to space and such, and it coming out every once in a while when he’s mumbling or something like that (it’s basically second nature to him)

so danny ends up at gotham for whatever reason (demon twins, reveal gone wrong, idc, they’re all cool) and he wants to start anew, so he pretends to only speak russian?? ig?? it’d make for some funny/interesting BatFam interactions i suppose

i don’t know where i was going with this but i want to read prompts of danny speaking russian