#can be seen as /p or /r idc

[mxmarsbars]

bring the smoke!

I’m very normal about them. yeah. especially how this is the first non-permakill impulse has faced at bdubs’s hand, meaning he has the capacity and chance to get closure and come back afterwards. and how he consented to it, and how both bdubs and gem were apprehensive, and about how he just wanted to be included. and how this kill, rather than representing death and betrayal, symbolizes rebirth and change. yeah. absolutely normal.

version with text under the cut :3

this moment had a lot of (homoerotic) tension to put it lightly

[kelddaa]

light of my life

(injured scar version below cut) ( tw // blood)

[denkilightning]

dont think about how cinder, jays new partner, moves like nadakhan and how similar their smoke must be, and dont think how geo, coles new partner, made a home in the land thats literally a junk yard. dont think how jays kid new kid (jordana) is just a too-powerful child eager to prove herself larger than the world that scares he and how she got possessed the same way lloyd did. dont think about how coles new kid is a skeleton and how before having his green gi lloyd used to wear a hoodie with a skeleton design. dont think about how when they were all forced apart, cole went to the closest replication of his best friend, making a new family with a metaphorical white picket fence, and jay ran away from any form of structure and routine, prefering to die out in the wilderness, until a three-personned replication of his abuser found him. dont think about how cole runs to comfort and family and jay runs from it. dont think how theyre sharing their mothers' fates

[ssturnsfx]

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NSFW ALPHABET

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a/n: ive seen this like 30 times so i thought id do it too lol

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A - aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

pretty good with aftercare, he’ll make sure you feel alright and comfortable before doing anything for himself.

B - body part (their favourite body part of theirs and of yours)

he lowk likes his eyes. the way you look into them when you’re sucking him off… woah who said that??

he’s an ass man for sure. he’s always making comments and staring at it and touching it. even in public.

“nice ass, ma.”

“thats the third time today, chris.”

C - cum (anything to do with cum)

loves to cum inside of you, if you’ve got plan b. if not, he’ll pull out and cum on your body.

D - dirty secret (self-explanatory, a dirty secret they have)

he literally gets turned on by normal shit you do. loves when you drop things so he can watch you bend down to pick them up.

E - experience (how experienced are they?)

has 2-3 bodies before you, he knows what he’s doing.

F - favourite position

LOVES backshots idc.

honourable mention to spooning for sleepy sex!

G - goofy (are they more serious or humorous in the moment?)

more serious but unless you’re really going at it he might crack a joke every now and then.

H - hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes?)

he keeps it nicely trimmed down there.

I - intimacy (how romantic are they in the moment?)

he’s almost always kissing you. he would make out with you for hours if he could.

J - jack off (masturbation hc)

when you aren’t around, he’ll pull up photos you send him or videos you guys took together.

K - kink (one or more kinks they have)

loves to mark you up. he’ll kiss you and give you hickeys all down your body.

also loves when you leave scratch marks down his back.

lowk also breeding

L - location (favourite places to do it)

anywhere he can just bend you over and take you right then (bed, table, counter, etc.)

bonus: he loves pushing you up against the wall and doing it standing up there.

M - motivation (what turns them on)

hearing you. the noises you make could finish him in minutes.

N - no (something they won’t do, turn-offs)

open relationship/threesome. he loves you too much to share you.

O - oral (preference giving or receiving, skill)

he loves a good blowjob from you, but the way your eyes roll back whenever he eats you out really turns him on.

P - pace (are they fast and rough or slow and sensual?)

usually fast and rough, but some nights if you guys are tired or just not in the mood for fast sex, he’s going slow and sensual.

Q - quickie (opinion of quickies, how often)

he’s almost always down for a quickie. just ask and to the bathroom you go.

R - risk (are they down to experiment or take risks?)

if you’re down to take a risk, so is he. don’t like it? it’s never happening again.

S - stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

as much as he would like to go for 5, he can only go for 2 or 3 if he’s really feeling it. he lasts a good amount of time.

T - toys (do they own toys? do they use them?)

he doesn’t own any, but you have a few. he’ll use them on you every now and then, but he wants to be the one pleasuring you, not some toy.

U - unfair (do they tease?)

he loves watching you get pissed off when he teases you, but you know it’ll be worth it in the end.

V - volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make)

loves to talk dirty. he’s always whispering stuff in your ear. other than that, he’ll grunt or groan every few minutes.

W - wild card (random hc)

he always takes in your facial expressions. he loves the way your mouth hangs open and your eyes roll back.

X - x-ray (whats going on under the clothes?)

definitely big, but he’s more on the girthy side.

Y - yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

he’s definitely a hornball. he’s always texting or calling to ask if you can come over.

“please im horny again”

“chris i left ten minutes ago what is wrong with you”

“sorry.”

Z - zzz (how long does it take for them to fall asleep after?)

bro passes tf out about 97% of the time. he would like to stay awake and cuddle you, but after putting all his energy into pleasuring you, he physically can’t.

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[mangocurist]

bro im scared as hell to post this now that zams being more active on tumblr but Im gonna do it scared idc. this can be read as /r or /p but i was intending some weird qpr mix of the two ^_^ anyhow . Go my tr ashzams

════════════════════════════════════════════════

For as much as Ash is a famed pathological liar, he is telling the truth when he says that he hardly remembers anything from before the Realm. 

Almost everything is a blur to him— he remembers Clownpierce and Pangi, of course, remembers all the conflicting rush of emotions that come when he sees them again— but never the reasons why he feels that way. There is the faintest recall of a server, where hearts are the currency and your life a commodity— but beyond that, there is nothing else. He can recall KyleEff just the same as he can almost just conjure up the image of Reddoons, but it’s never anything concrete. One day they’re friends, another, he’s in a ruined city, missing his empire and his right-hand man.

Either way, Ash is never fully there. Never able to remember entirely if they were friends or enemies or a relationship gone south.

There is just one thing that stays cemented in his mind, and he’s the reason Ash is here to begin with.

Golden hair, an ever-present mischievous smile, and a contagious laugh that practically infects anyone who listens. Two near-gods, messing around with their own private servers because they can and it’s fun, they’re together, and every challenge they take on together gets ruined by their own hands in the end. A prince who always seems to find himself in conflict whether she likes it or not— a sad, lonely prince, who Ash watches die horribly, over and over again, season after season. Hearts, strung on a string, given to one another freely in one world, in another, an army strong enough to match his own. Cunning, paranoid, and most of all, just as bright as he remembers her.

An emperor, a tyrant, a maniac, a guardian, a god, a girl.

A prince. His prince. 

She stands in front of Ash now, that same spun-gold hair twirled around her shoulders in loosely braided curls as she reaches out to ring the bell by the castle’s entrance, beaming when the tall totem-king pats her on the shoulder and gives her a side hug. Something in Ash aches a little, seeing the familiarity that his prince shows around these people who he hasn’t even known for two weeks, who haven’t even seen him bleed and choke on his mistakes or the way blood splatters on his face when he kills—

But then, as the cloaked figure beside her congratulates her on her coronation and a bright yellow light starts to emanate from the jewels in his crown, the newly crowned Princess of Yellow turns around and runs up the steps, and instead of going for anyone else, Zam collides into him, perfectly coiled golden hair flying every which way as they land in a pile on the floor, her snickers sounding like music to Ash’s ears.

“Zam!” He protests half-heartedly, though his annoyance is futile against the way she laughs, loud and grating and so familiar it pulls at his heartstrings. “Dude, I told you to stop doing that. Didn’t you literally just get crowned or whatever too? You’re, like, losing so much aura right now.”

Predictably, Zam just waves it off— fair enough, given that the Yellow Faction’s King and his cronies don’t really seem to care much about what they’re doing, so as long as Zam is safe. From a quick survey of the faces in the crowd, most of them just look quietly amused and endeared by Zam’s antics— which, don’t get Ash wrong, is what he wants for him— but it’s a little annoying that he can’t even try to point out flaws in them in front of her. Not that he would. But it was the principle of the matter. 

“Dude, you know who lost aura?” Zam starts, a glint in his eyes that spells nothing but trouble for Ash. Still, he waits for Zam’s response— if only to be a gentleman about it. “That’s you, man! Who the hell manages to get themselves eaten by a giant on their first day to a new server?”

“Oh, shut the hell up!” Ash pushes her away from him as they both finally make to get off the ground, ignoring Zam’s maniacal giggles. She nudges him a little as they stand up, hands wiping away the barest traces of giant guts that Ash himself hadn’t managed to remove. “I travel all this way to meet you on your dumb server, just for you to do this shit to me—”

Zam snorts, pulling Ash down the steps of the castle. 

“Okay, sure. Whatever you say, Ash. For all I know you spent half the journey scamming merchants out of all their stock for fun. Oh! By the way, have you met everyone in the Kingdom yet?” 

“Not really,” Ash says after a moment of hesitation, because even though people had definitely tried to introduce themselves at one point or another, all he could think of was seeing Zam again. That, and the whole being brought back as a soul-allay after being eaten by a giant thing hadn’t made introductions much easier to pay attention to. 

“Seriously? I wouldn’t’ve guessed, with how Sneeg was messing with you. I’ve been told that he only does that with people he likes,” Zam notes. 

Ash doesn’t tell him that it’s probably just the Warden sensing a threat in him and subsequently doing his best to keep Ash from harming anyone, and instead just goes along with what Zam says. 

“It’s because of my natural charisma. It draws him to me, you know, like how Reddoons is drawn to unemployment,” Ash tells her, a smile pulling at the corner of his mouth as Zam bursts out into her contagious giggles at their inside joke, a memory fuzzy in his mind despite it only having been some weeks since his last encounter with Redd. He doesn’t dwell on it, though— right now, in the warm sunlight that bathes the castle grounds, it’s only Zam that matters. “I think he doesn’t like me very much though, you know, just between you and me.”

“Mm, well, Sneeg’s just like that, I think. He was kinda standoffish to me too, at first,” Zam says lightly. “As long as you’re like, chill, he should be fine. Oh! Wait, hold on, I almost forgot to ask. Did you have a look at spawn yet?”

“Like, a tour?” Ash shakes his head. “It’s a lot cleaner than the spawns I can remember, that’s for sure.” 

Zam’s eyebrows furrow for a second, probably picking up on Ash’s strange wording. He doesn’t press the matter though, instead simply slipping his hand into Ash’s own. Zam is warm against him, and Ash relishes in the feeling. “Right… Well, you can tell me about that later, then! Let me be your tour guide for the day.”

She goes, and he follows. Today has been an unfamiliar day, but this, at least, is something that he remembers. 

And while Ash might try to go against Zam in the future, or vice versa— this moment is something that he hopes he never forgets. 

[heartcircus]

okay but can we talk more about how . quick clown was to take tina under his wing. the fact that it reflected how he came to take ros as an apprentice … ough. the parallels?

first, with bad (jokingly) threatening tina after clowm logged off only for clown to log in at the perfect time, which made bad go immediately silent and back off. like . what is this . december?

but then there was also during the confrontation with pili/ace. clown wasn’t taking it seriously, joking around and having a very light attitude towards the whole thing. when pili said he found clown boring, clown took it in stride. but tina rose to his defense, and pili immediately latched onto her — asking if this was clown’s apprentice, hiding behind the arena’s walls. and it’s like. something clicked in clown’s head because he said she could do whatever she wants. and then he started actually taking the confrontation seriously. and he brought up ros.

sorry im a rospierce (/p or /r idc i just love them as a duo) enjoyer. and i’ve hardly seen anyone talk about it so. here i am. analysing it. all one line.

“you expect me to care what you think. but that’s the whole point, isn’t it? i never cared. i just wanted to put you in the dirt for what you did to ros.”

i remember back in january, feeling slightly disappointed at how misconstrued the fight between pili and clown was advertised, with people claiming it was “toxic yaoi” or “pili proving himself”. and those are interpretations that can be had, especially from pili’s pov! it was framed as if pili was the underdog and clown was the final boss pili has to defeat to gain some respect, and though he ultimately failed, clown never spoke about the reasons why he personally fought pili that day.

i’m sure a lot of people, both in the realm and in the community, assumed it was because pili was obsessed with clown and his deepest desire was to die by clown’s hand. they probably also assumed clown was fighting simply because he was the only one who could. but that’s not the case. sneeg sought out clown before the fight and offered to take pili down, but clown refused him. it was personal to clown. probably because ros was targeted due to her relationship with him.

maybe that’s why he never told anyone why he did it. at the fight. why he purposefully played into the role of pili’s final wall to overcome. because people knowing he cared about ros is exactly what led to her being hunted down and killed in the first place. he doesn’t want to advertise just how important she is to him, because it’s dangerous to be so. and it’s a shame, but also so very interesting, because despite the fact that their relationship is almost entirely private, ros has never once doubted that clown cares about her.

but you can also see that clown seems to be letting those walls down! i mean, he blatantly admitted that the reason he fought pili was for ros’s sake. this was in front of only foolish and tina, who wouldn’t use this information against him, and bad who already knew. but still. i wonder if it’s because of sneeg and zam and ros herself have grown stronger. and he doesn’t feel that he is the only one who needs to protect them.

sorry for the rant/analysis that doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. because clown hardly logs in, he doesn’t do a lot of lore. and when he does do lore, it’s hardly talked about because people tend to view it as non-canon because they can’t see him committing to it . but i still think he’s such an interesting character despite that ^^

this is an amazing analysis anon.... woawww my rospierce heart

but yes i agree!!! the whole purpose of the fight did get misconstrued; clown fought because Ros' safety was in jeopardy if he didn't, not to grant pili's wish. he never cared about that, he never cared that pili was obsessed with him and any advance pili tried making clown actively ignored or dismissed (ex. throwing away all the gifts pili gave him). it was all for ros.

i also think clown is the type of guy to hide his relationship with ros as a means of protection like you said. it's dangerous to let people know you have attachments, it's something that can be exploited and used against you. it's happened time and time again on lifesteal, clown's home. it makes total sense for him to want to hide how much he cares for ros in hopes of keeping her out of danger.

clown and ros' relationship is so interesting to me . god i love them so much. they have like undying faith in one another and despite clown not being around a lot and most of their bond being hidden in private, they're unwavering. clown comes back and it's like nothing ever changed .

[squinch-depraved]

omg you should definitely do the nsfw alphabet prompt with cooper!! need more coop content >_<

hihi i've actually been thinking about doing this for a while so here we go (incredibly self indulgent as with all my cooper fics)

A (aftercare- what they're like after sex): i feel like cooper is super sweet after sex, he'll grab you water and help you shower if you need, and he always makes sure to pack a bowl for you afterwards

B (body part- their favorite on themself and their partner): i think cooper likes his eyes a lot. they're really pretty and i feel like he knows it. you make him like his nose more than he used to, though. and on you, i think he's a big fan of either your ass or your thighs

C (cum- anything to do with cum): this dude is obsessed with cumming on you, i just know it. chest, face, stomach, back, he loves seeing you covered in his cum

D (dirty secret of theirs): this man loves somno idc he also jerks off in bed when you're sleeping and is so ashamed of it he feels so guilty but finds it so hot

E (experience- how experienced are they): i mean, he's not inexperienced, but you for sure teach him a lot. like he knows what he's doing sorta but you show him how to do even better (he was already an expert munch u can't change my mind)

F (favorite position): doggy.

G (goofy- are they serious? humorous? etc.): for fucking sure he jokes around during sex. like not constantly but whenever there's a dull moment or something doesn't quite go right, he's there to make you laugh

H (hair- how well groomed/does the carpet match the drapes?): i get the feeling he doesn't really trim or shave or anything like have you seen his messy fuckin skater boy cut you can't convince me he gives a fuck about what's going on down there unless you ask him to

I (intimacy- how romantic are they?): he's for sure a romantic secretly like he loves being soft with you half the time he's super sweet and lovey dovey and the other half he's lowkey rough with you

J (jorkin' it- how often?): daily.

K (kink/s?): i think he would have an intox kink idk also like i said, somno

L (location- favorite place/s to have sex): for sure his car either at the beach or at the skatepark, or at his desk. also prob couch

M (motivation- what gets them going): seeing you in his clothes, you laughing at his jokes, seeing you exhale smoke

N (no- turn offs, dealbreakers): anything while he's streaming

O (oral- prefers giving, receiving? skill level?): i said this in another post but i don't think he can pick. also see above expert munch

P (pace- fast & rough? slow & loving?): depends on the situation but usually fast, if you're both super high and cuddly he'll be really soft and gentle

Q (quickies- their opinion on them): loves them whenever he has to take a break from a highcraft session

R (risk- are they down to experiment?): i think he'd be down to try stuff for you but is a bit worried when it comes to hurting you in any way or doing things in public

S (stamina- how many rounds? how long do they last?): two to three rounds maximum, lasts like 20 minutes each time

T (toys- do they own toys?): maybe a vibrator for fun with you and i could see like a fleshlight for when you're not around but not much else

U (unfair- do they like to tease?): oh my god he's such an asshole he teases you 'til you're crying and desperate when he feels like it

V (volume- how loud they are): not super loud normally, i feel like he moans in your ear a lot but when he's really high and you're the dom he gets so loud, whimpering, begging, ughhhhh need him

W (wild card): would actually be willing to share you with his friends provided he was there and you felt safe, but he'd never admit that (unless he was wasted and you pestered him about it)

X (x-ray- under their clothes): 7 and 3/4 inches, cut, with untrimmed dark blonde hair

Y (yearning- how high is their sex drive?): super high when he's stoned, still relatively high when he's sober

Z (zzz- how quickly do they fall asleep afterwards?): if high, he'll drift off after making sure you're okay within like ten minutes

[tankerfishthesimp]

helloooo :P

hey there!

my name is cory.

please send me random asks! i get bored easily :)

idm any pronouns, idrc abt labels (with a huge ton more of interest in girls/nb, but still ig my standards for men r just higher)

(it’s feeling more like idc today)

BYF:

i will probably get really stressed and start posting random personal stuff or keyboard smashes with no context, or rants and angry vagueposts, these will be on #cory's rants

i will probably state random things so that will be on #cory’s thoughts

vagueposting about me reading things and responding to them will be on #cory's reads

gay thoughts (ahem totally not about uqd) are on #cory's droughts

random lists because lists are nice to write and makes it more tidy than the mess that is my head #cory’s lists

letters are on #cory's letters

asks are on #cory’s queeries

i actually like interacting with people but i get awkward sometimes :P so please do interact with me if you want to!

DNI:

homophobes/sexists/racists/transphobes... you know who you are so ;( don't follow me if you're here to hate

LIKES:

reading random wiki pages at 11pm instead of doing hwk

the rain

music (i listen to a lot of different things but currently cavetown clairo and conan gray mostly r my faves)

writting letters - i write letters in 2nd person a lot, and am currently working on a story where it's only narrated in letters from two brothers to each other

good lord heavens have you seen women

acting and devising theatre oml

art when there is no deadline

eyes (oml some people's eyes are just kdsjfksdhfkhsd)

staring into space (when not stressed about nothing, which is rare)

staring into space (your eyes, uqd :))

the night sky

good view of a nice city / rural countryside / beaches

puzzles (grrrr let me at the 2000 and little model trains)

books - but mostly from that one author and about that same guy getting himself into deep shit so many times

matthias :)) @utterqueerdisasterthesimp (my boyfriend, omg i got reverse pulled by mattie)

DISLIKES:

people who try to discriminate against others :(

people in the dni

being forced to do repetitive work (but i like repetitive work i voluntarily do, it calms me kinda)

procrastinating too much and being stressed about not finishing work

high pitched noises (bees ignoring the buzzing sounds r nice tho)

overthinking into a state of anxiety

not talking or being able to say thank you even when i really want to (sometimes i can't talk and when it gets really bad i resort to emojis because the feeling and sound of the keyboard stresses me out too)

the annoying voice(s) sometimes when it goes out of control

loud places (i can’t hear what people are trying to tell me and it’s too loud)

sooo thank you for reading this and drop me a follow and we can be moots :) if you want to talk to me u can always reply to my posts and stuff

(previously tanklocks)

(the icon is from a picrew from pepperjackets)

(the banner is from my girlfriend @utterqueerdisasterthesimp <333)

tysm :) and have a great day!

[our-reality]

oh my god.

[eddiescumfilledsock]

i have eddie brainrot hcs that i need to get out of my head before i literaly explode

-he cant ride a bike very well

-if someone threw holy water at him since 'hes the devil' he would play into it and act like it hurts

-is good at mechanics to some degree

-contrary to popular belief he does take good care of his hair, like nice soaps and oils

-he can semi play drums

-he is decent at art

-p a n s e x u a l

-has had/really wants a pet reptile, would go all out with care if he had the money to

-h o r n y 25/8

-hes actually really smart,just has untreated adhd so struggles a lot

-fave holiday is halloween

-is an ass, tits AND thigh man, he loves all parts of the body

-he doesnt have a preferred body type for his partner,he likes anyone as long as theyre nice and fun, but would really like someone thicker, since hes kinda lanky and thin he likes the added plush that comes with a bigger partner, more to hug and cuddle and feels comforting (this may be me coping but thats not important)

-mommy issues to the max but some daddy too

-is interested in makeup but is nervous about getting hate crimed skdjjd

-ive seen poeple say he isnt big on cuddling but i dont see that??? i feel like hed love to cuddle and hold his s/o a lot even if it's just their hand

-i think its a well accepted thing he fidgets with his rings a lot but i think hed also be prone to chewing on his nails, not quite biting them off but almost

-can't sit still for the life of him, always has to be moving in some way like tapping a table or shaking his leg

-wanted to paint his van dnd\hell fire club themed

-I feel like hed like to drink energy drinks even though they dont affect him, just likes the taste and thinks it makes him look cool

-i feel like hed learn to ride a motorcycle at some point

-would love video games

-hed like maanskin and mother mother idc what anyone says

-was an eat anything that fits in his mouth kid

-paints his nails sometimes

-doesn't brush his hair a lot but when he does its sooo soft

-the bed stains are 90% bong water and alcohol

-favorite ice cream flavor is anything chocolate

[euph0synee]

okay hear me out !!

why are most of the bls/gls manhwa are nsfw/smut and some are just literal p*rn without an interesting stroy line whereas, it's completely different when it's straight manhwas??? like do ppl prefer the lgbt+ manhwas be smut without actual story line and romance, just to see same gender ppl fuck??

it's so weird how most of the straight manhwas have such cute teeth rotting romance which can give u butterflies without any smut or wtv just wholesome shit but when u go to read bls/gls there's just manhwas filled w literal p*rn and smut???

is it normal?

also why do ppl love to excuse problematic behavior portrayed in these bl manhwas/dramas?

like most of these bl manhwas have r*pey mls who literally force themselves on the mc despite mc not wanting it and there are ppl excusing this behavior and still supporting the ml like "omg he's so hot" "he's a red flag but i want him 😍" like would u want a guy who's a r*pist? it's not a red flag stop saying shit like that. it's not a red flag it's a fucking crime. it's literally like saying "omg that dude r*ped his colleague? damn he's a red flag 😍" HOW IS THIS OKAY AT ALL??? ARE U SICK IN THE HEAD OH MY GOD??

also there's this one bl drama where the guy is married to a woman but then he falls in love with another man or smth like that idk that drama i haven't seen it but did see one of the scenes from the drama and it was like,

the husband (who's basically the main character) was meeting with the guy he fell in love with (the male lead) and they were kissing or something in the husband's house i think and suddenly his wife comes back and catches them together.

now, what do u think? is there something that u find problematic in that? well let me tell u what i found problematic in that it was the fact that the husband was cheating on his wife. idc if he was in love with another with a man or woman, he had an EXTRA MARITAL AFFAIR while being married to that woman. and you know the comment section was filled with ppl who supported the husband and the lover bc obviously they were the main couple of the drama but nobody gave a fuck about how the wife would've felt? if the man was cheating with another woman everyone would've called him out right? but suddenly their feminism dies when it's boy×boy?

the wife had no reason to get hurt and be dragged in all this mess bc of the main couple. The husband was gay, he should've told the wife that he was gay or smth? idk what y'all think but i think extra marital affairs are problematic and should be called out regardless of the genders involved.

i cannot be the only one feeling all this is problematic right? i cannot be the only one thinking this all is just balant fetishization of gay men? please tell me if i am wrong or if I'm missing any point here that i need to be educated about? and i would prefer it more if only the ppl of LGBT+ community give their opinion or argument on this post because i want to know the honest opinion of those who are actually being targeted by all these bls and all i.e, the gay ppl and lgbt ppl rather than a straight person.

also srry for any spelling mistakes or wtv i can't type for shit 😍😍😍😍

[matchamabs]

BOTW (and AOC) GUYS: RANKED BY HOW HOT THEY ARE

get ready for some heinous opinions! so im ranking the guys in botw by how hot they are and im taking No criticism. idk if i forgot anyone but i tried

check it out under the cut 

sorry but this twink is just. average. like Painfully average. hes like white bread. therefore he gets an average score. i can appreciate hes a cute lookin guy? but like. thats it. if u fancy link u probably like mayonnaise. he looks like mayonnaise. grow a fuckin tache or smth dude for the love of god. 5/10 very normal.

ok im a diehard bird simp but like... this boy is fuckin ugly lmao. hes pretty at the same time tho? nice smile, nice eyes, nice voice but yellow eyebrows? green eyes? red makeup? clown. he’s a bird clown. tho i guess some ppl find clowns hot so this one’s for the pennywise crowd. 5/10. he’s a 10/10 in my heart tho.

now this is a MAN. u got the good smile, the strong arms, the r i p p l i n g  m u s c l e s. he is a man u can trust. his arm hair is a bit wild but if u dont like his incredible facial hair, then.... idc. 7/10. they made a rock handsome. thats impressive. 3 points off for the forehead vagina tho. dont like that.

hot fucking damn. this is what we in the biz call a raging dilf. he looks like the kind of dad that never grew out of his punk rock phase. idk how i feel abt the broken traffic light look but its fine. just look into his gorgeous eyes and listen 2 his deep gravelly voice as he tells u to fuck off and leave him alone. perfection. the voice already makes him like 20/10 but the mullet is fucking awful and he should be penalised for that. 8/10. grow a fringe like the rest of us.

ah the shape of water... ok yeah the fish is fuckable ill grant u that. hes All fuckin torso tho and his eyes r constantly pointing in different directions which is not the Most Flattering Look and he Will hit u with his head handlebars and it will hurt. the 24-pack aint half bad either but i always get this feeling that he looks like he skips... some kind of day. not arm day, not leg day, but... some kind of day. maybe brain day.  8/10. sharp teeth are always sexy.

10/10. i dont fuckin care if u hate his hair- this man probably invented the most effective hairspray in existence just to make that happen. respect him. u cannot deny hes hot tho like theres just Something about him. the confidence... the attitude... i worry about revealing his eyes tho. theres a 50% chance it will not work in ur favour and he’ll just look heinous. full 10/10 tho. old robbie is also not bad 2 look at if ur not a coward but he Might leave u for an easy bake oven so like. watch out for that.

well the queen saw something in him??? i genuinely fear the idea of ever getting to see his chin from under that magnificent beard tho. he’s probably got the jawline of a russian power lifter. anyway for an old guy hes not lookin that bad so long as u dont mind a receding hairline. ill b nice. 5/10. for a king u could do worse. ill be taking complaints about this take in my dms. bring a bat. 

where do i begin. i love beedle. i rlly do but theres.... so much going on. personality is a 10/10, business skills are 10/10/ haircut is -50/10 and the crop top....? well ill give him 10/10 for confidence. 4/10 im sorry he is just a Lot to look at. he looks like rock lee tried to become a slutty pirate king. shonen jump will have a lot to answer for.

the colour scheme is... better than revali, tho i didnt realise how obnoxious it was until i actually got a good look at him. ive never seen a bird look so top heavy before but this mans got 5 kids so i have nothing but respect for my king. kass is for the dilf crowd that like the dad bods. 8/10 he is quite nice to look at ngl. he’s like revali but light mode.

ok yunobo is very cute i wont lie but the hair is just massively disarming. idk its all i can think about. is this a goron emo phase?? is that what that is?? ive been staring at it for like 5 minutes and i still cant work out if i like it or not. 5/10 he is a humble lad. 

under all that gear kohga could look like willem dafoe x50 and id still find him attractive. he cant be hot tho. he just cant be. like looks wise he has to be 1/10 under that there is no way this man could feasibly be conventionally attractive and tbh i like it that way. banana boy gets 6/10. hotter than revali. revali looks like a clown but kohga looks like the entire fucking circus

there is nothing unattractive about bolson. 10/10. sha-ding

i hate the hair i hate the hair i hate the hair i hate the hair SO fucking much but the voice. he has to be hot under that gear with a voice like that. if hes not well. just close ur eyes. the voice will take care of the rest. 8/10 the crack in his mask actually makes him look sexier and i dont understand how that can happen

????????????????????????? he looks. like an old man? i swear those big wingy bits are his eyebrows but i cant Quite be sure. why would a tree need eyebrows. ??/10 keep ur questionable gifts to urself

-100000/10 who the fuck let this budget pokemon npc in here. he looks like he should b leading team ganon across the kanto region. he probably draws those lines on his face to make himself look older and listens to mother mother. im gonna punch his third eye. no this is not a biased opinion 

[maritasdump]

Here you go, hope you like it! I'm not very good with social interactions so sorry if anything feels off!

girlboss: hii

gayass: hi gays!!

kebab: *guys

gayass: i know what i said

girlboss: marcy stop being homophobic 😔😔

girlboss: how u doing?

kebab: djhkqhfdwjwdhj

kebab: im good

gayass: im good too!!

gayass: just visited the plantars!!!

girlboss: sweet

kebab: how r my favorite ships doing?? sprivy and grimepop are still a thing???

gayass: sadly grimepop never became canon 🙄

girlboss: babe i thought me and u was ur favorite ship😭😭😭

kebab: aw dang it

kebab: sjkdfkjkjdkdj sorry sasha u cant compete with frogs 😔😔😔😔

girlboss: babe why 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

gayass: SGDKILJKJHDFLR

gayass: marcy hop pop will never get with grime, hes an ally sorry

kebab: anne, ive seen gays in my life and im telling u, hop pop is gay as fuck

gayass: what about sylvia?

kebab: biromantic

gayass: fair fair

girlboss: eh i dont see much bi vibes in him tbh

gayass: wdu mean?

girlboss: hold up, let me change into an appropriate outfit

girlboss changed their username to 💗💜💙girlboss💙💜💗

💗💜💙girlboss💙💜💗: there now i can talk about it.

💗💜💙girlboss💙💜💗: u see, bi people usually do some of these things:

gayass: ukw idc.

💗💜💙girlboss💙💜💗: bitch

💗💜💙girlboss💙💜💗 changed their username to girlboss

kebab: bitch (affectionate)?

girlboss: bitch (derogatory)

kebab: :(

kebab: also saying that bi people tend to do stuff is biphobic, im sorry sash 😔😔😔

girlboss: damn😔😔😔😔😔

gayass: god

gayass: i hate u both (affectionate)

kebab: we know skslkdslkdslk

girlboss: anne homophobic 😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔

gayass changed their username to homophobicgayass

kebab: SWDKJDJDSLD

homophobicgayass: anne homophobia arc

girlboss: k i gtg

girlboss: bye *kisses both of u on the lips /p*

kebab: bye!! *asks both of u to marry me /p*

homophobicgayass: SKDKJSDKJDKJSKJ

SASHA CHANGING HER USERNAME TO THE BI FLAG SENT ME SDFKJGSKDFGJSKDFGSKJDFGS

damn guess i'm biphobic 😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔

[literaphobe]

Mcc all stars

might be my most rewatched mcc... im sorry i think complete n utter dominance is sexy and i love it when best friends win it all together

pros:

fuck like they won so many games. where do i even begin. like parkour tag. HOT. fact that dream team was on top was sexy. i still think the scoring rewards good running more than good hunting / rewards u more for not hunting as much but its ok george being first is deserved and so cute and maybe one day it will happen for real like george will be first individual

dream's sky battle round 2 was so SO fucking insane and hot like holy shit i CRAVE watching him randomly bridge up and shoot people from the sky and tnt kill an entire team like NO ONE DOES SKY BATTLE LIKE HIM. im sorry. when he really goes off he goes off. like talk to me when u've beaten his sky battle record. YOU WILL NEVER BE HIM. um who said that. im normal btw

ace race oh my fucking god space map my beloved,,,,,, he hit that skip TWICE like it was nothing he set the new course record idc its canon TO ME its an individual game anyway and like god he was just doing so good he was p much playing all by himself?? plus the fact that the others did good too... but i mean him doing the best is very important to me slurp slurp !

sandkeeper dream u r so hot... no better moment in mcc sot history than watching him do the sand job so flawlessly + make the switch with george to get the gold key and vault and emerge the game w the most coins on their team... why is that so sexy to me idgi i have issues

have u guys ever seen the spin the bottle edit of dream bridging in the new tgttosawaf lobby map. like holy shit his performance was truly phenomenal. he was first in like 4 of the games this mcc. like im truly crumbling

he didn't die even ONCE during dodgebolt. so hot oh my god my baby

cons:

grid runners stage 3: search the room can go die in a hole. i literally skip over it every time i rewatch like i really want to kms from how much they struggled finding that damn smoker. ik they came 3rd but that was srsly SO embarrassing

i did not give two shits that they were arguing and being 'toxic' with each other during battle box. but when that map was released for mcc17 i had it in my mind that the leaf blocks were gonna be revolutionary and awesome and in my head if they had played it in mcc17 dream wouldn't have lost mcc17 but now i have to spit and curse at the map because they got so fucked during it and that was embarrassing. i like skill and dominance and when i don't get that i want to die. i also skip over battle box when i rewatch

hm... idk. nothing else really. i think they should all be good and obedient and listen to dream more. like i think they are funny when they argue but also it gets in the way of perfection and it frustrates dream. random but i think sapnap should've like not tried to co-op bad's job in sot and looked for the green vault or something. like imagine if they had found all 4 vaults. aside from that he's a little better at taking orders. i also remembered wishing they had let george take a shot. like let him try having two arrows once. but they didn't and they still won so who cares

[ickymichi]

𝐊𝐄𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐔𝐏 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐓𝐒!

what’s this?: hcs of the scouts living together!

warnings: like 1 slightly nsfw one mentioned nothing serious, swearing, crack fic, modern au.

note: these hcs r probably the only thing keeping me going sidbsj. so wanted to share them with you guys, might make a more detailed part two who knows n e way, hope you enjoy! reblogs are greatly appreciated <3

© k1ttykawa 2021

first off this house will be the loudest, most chaotic place you’ll ever witness.

like they should have their own reality show.

so who’s in this hell hole?

well we’ve the two trios, eren mikasa & armin and jean connie & sasha.

six people in a house is gonna need a house cleaner to come over twice every week, and that mans name is levi. he usually doesn’t mind his job but when it comes to this house, he questions his life choices.

anyway! yeah what goes down? well let’s go through every room!

first off we’ll start with eren cause :p his room is like every other guys, sports achievement trophies on his shelf’s, signed jerseys hung on the wall and the same checkered sheets that he hasn’t changed in a while.

it’s always somehow always messy.

he does spend a considerable amount of time in their just playing on his play station, probably only comes out to get food.

and ofc he has l.e.d.s 🙄

next is armin! his is so quaint i love it

it just screams armin. books after books along his floor to ceiling book shelf, desk with every stationary you could think of. and is bed is always made and not a spec of dirt on the floor.

doesn’t spend too much time in his room and spends more time downstairs with the others.

mikasa my love <3 when i think of modern au mikasa, i think of goth!mikasa </3

her room is just such a viobe

so many plants!! and tapestries! she reads manga okay idc :( she has so much tho! her fav is romance </3 also has leds and a really funky full length mirror she found at a local store!

jean bo’s room is acc so nice. it has to be for all the girls he brings over

but yeah posters galore of his favourite anime (one piece, naruto, beck, death note etc) manga collector also!

also has his favourite band posters. he really likes posters k? doesn’t like to have plain walls

has those open wardrobe things, as well as an actual wardobe cause he has so much clothes.

and ofc, he got the leds

also he has this big ass tv and plays his music really loud off it.

connie my luuvvv!!

somehow, god only knows, mf got the biggest room when they were picking. really he just got the longest straw

anyway, his room pls, big ass bed, big ass tv, big ass wardobe AND he got a whole en-suite!

jean and eren and soo fcking jealous of his room pls.

he spends a lot of time on the play station with eren and jean. loves that he can hear eren screaming through his headphones and down the hall.

he also is a manga fanatic! but doesn’t have as much as jean yet! also don’t tell jean, but he stole a few volumes of bleach and he’s waiting for the day he noticed

also has his favourite artists and anime posters, won this really cool rengoku figure that he has in a glass case with his luffy and sukuna figures. yes, he loves collecting things.

as well as that he has an alcohol stand that has just bottles of beer to the most expensive tequila.

he has this speaker that quite literally shakes the floor and never doesn’t have music playing. even if it’s 2am that things going.

obviously got the leds

sasha </3 her room is just, you’d want to live in it that’s all i can say.

has like three mini fridges, two beside lockers all full of snacks and drinks.

her bed is the comfiest in the whole house, everyone comes into her room just to lay in it for a while.

has this really soft rug that she loves to lie on when watching tv or her laptop.

binges a lot of shows so she doesn’t come out of her room unless she wants to watch it downstairs with the others

got the leds‼️

now that we’ve seen all the bedrooms, what actually goes down in the facility?

connie or jean definitely went viral for those videos like these, they’re always on my fyp and i love it so he makes these like every few nights and they probably look like this:

armin is probably either studying or watching whatever’s on netflix

eren is most likely in his room on the ps or napping. gets annoyed every time connie comes in to record the tiktok -_-

sasha is either in the kitchen making something she saw on tiktok or in her room binging shows

mikasa is probably cleaning her room or a different part of the house or doing her make up/hair with her music v loud ofc <3

and jean and connie are either in each others rooms or fixing jeans car that keeps breaking down. with vv loud music ofc.

during the day though is like the same except the boys are probably out in the back garden playing basketball while mikasa and sasha watch on the grass catching some rays 😎

music is a reacquiring theme here bc there’s always someone blaring music.

also, jean is always bringing girls home from when him and eren go out and sasha n armin will just watch him run upstairs with her like 🧍‍♀️ 🧍 there goes another one

connie is forever scaring anyone and recording it. he has about 10 montages on tiktok of him hiding in a cupboard or even just around the corner and scaring someone. most times it’s jean cause he a scaredy-cat. did it to eren and he gave him a black eye out of ‘reflexes’

they love spending nights together sitting on the couch and watching different movies or just sitting together and talking.

dinner is spent at the table together every night and it’s honestly everyone’s favourite time of the day.

omg cleaner levi who comes to clean twice a week, connie gets on his nerves soo bad pls😭 he’s always asking him questions and being like “yo big man you need a hand?”

jean and connie spend a lot of time in each other’s rooms just sitting on the bed and scrolling through tiktok and sometimes eren joins and though the two won’t admit it, jean and eren love it when he does cause they have suuuch laughs pls i’m talking tears and sore sides.

[hnnyoongs]

akai shuichi headcanons

shuichi wears a beanie all the time because he's self conscious about hir hairline .... and I mean who can blame him? id be too

shuichi saw gin when he was visiting Japan in the 10 years ago flashback and was like ooh long hair is cool AND it'll piss ka-san off flash forward 5 years later when shuichi infiltrates the BO and is like fUck cool long hair dude is a psycho

shuichi cut his hair off when he heard akemi was killed by gin he kinda went into the whole mental breakdown mode and was like fuck this shit because he started growing his hair out cuz of gin and also akemi really liked his long hair

shuichi used to be a band kid when he lived in England and wanted to pursue a career in music (much to the chagrin of Mary) but after tsutomu disappeared he was like fuck that and stopped playing until he entered the BO

shuichi has a really bad memory about things that dont have to do anything with his job kinda like BBC's Sherlock but not as bad

shuichi used to find dead bodies when he was a kid just like shinichi but it wasn't as often maybe like a dead body once a year or something

shuichi named himself dai because that's what Mary actually wanted to name him when she was giving birth she was screaming die die die and tsutomu wasn't there yet so she was like aight die sounds like the japanese name dai the only reason shuichi wasn't named that was that tsutomu burst in and was like FUCK NO

shuichi was picked on when training for the FBI since compared to 6 foot jock white men shuichi was a 5 foot 7 asian with long hair and dressed like a teenage girl who frequented Starbucks in the toxic environment of the FBI for anyone who doesnt fit the mold shuichi had it cut out for him

shuichi showed signs of multiple mental illnesses but they were all difficult to pin down so he was never diagnosed with anything since he refused to talk at the FBI mandated therapy sessions

shuichi's type is someone who is kind but could wield a gun

he used to dislike kids but being around them as okiya has made SOME kids special in his heart

before tsutomu's disspeareance he taught shuichi how to hunt with a shotgun

shuichi lived off of sports drinks and bars whenever he was single since he couldn't rely on take out due to it being unhealthy which wouldn't help his FBI styled life

shuichi taught akemi simple self defense techniques but refuses to teach her how to shoot a gun saying he didn't want her hands to get dirty

shuichi and shukichi blackmail each other for favors by using the "ill tell ka-san you did that one thing that you blamed dad for when we were kids if u dont help me out"

scotch once told him that bourbon's type was a white milf (in reference to Elena who was white and was a mother) so shuichi was scared as fuck when rei met Mary's adult self for the first time

shuichi hates being compared to his mother but the truth is they're the most similar and they both started mimicking tsutomu after his disappearance

the only thing shuichi knew how to cook before meeting yukiko was plain white rice as that was the only thing tsutomu was able to teach him

shuichi mimics an American accent while talking in America or talking in English unless he's talking to his family or he's mentally shook up and his British accent slips out

he thinks in British accented English as well (idc if the animanga shows him thinking in japanese it makes no sense that western raised people like Jodie and camel think in japanese) but he does use some japanese like ka-san and when he's trying to get deep into his okiya persona

he tries very hard to keep the polite speech patterns of okiya Subaru since as akai shuichi he's very .. rude

shuichi's sniper skills were so good the fbi was willing to overlook his disrespect of authority and his tendency to do everything by himself without consulting everyone

shuichi slips into a British accent around James if he's feeling really comfortable

he felt bad about using shiho since she was only a year older than masumi and she hadn't done anything wrong so he vowed to get her and akemi out of the BO

he had a plan to get akemi and shiho out by convincing the higher ups to grant them immunity if they testified but akemi's death derailed the entire thing

he hates to admit it but his family is the most important thing to him he may not contact them that often but he's going to such lengths to bring his father back because he cares for his family so much

shuichi didnt really know what he wanted to do with his life once he took down his father's pursuers but after akemi and scotch he decided that if he solved his father's disappearance first he'd hunt down the BO next tho once learning that Haneda Koji’s death had something to do with the BO he's back at the thing where he doesn't know what to do with his life without revenge

he promised shukichi that he'd be the one to solve shukichi's death if what happened to Haneda kohji also happens to shukichi

he isn't a fan of dates in amusement parks but if it makes his partner happy and smile he'll have fun

dating Jodie was a quiet thing most likely from an attachment maybe due to a bad case or a loss of a mutual friend depending on the agency they might have been legally allowed to date each other but it is usually looked down upon I dont think they went out together often probably spending time together at home ... doing stuff

he identifies as bisexual it was normal to him in childhood since both Mary and tsutomu talked about their past relationships to their children he never told anyone due to the fact it would affect his FBI status since it was illegal in America shukichi and Mary know he's bi but shuichi has no idea Mary knows

akemi and shuichi would take strolls in parks go shopping and go to cafes

he's very self conscious about his height and whenever he goes to Japan it makes him feel good about himself since he's relatively tall there

Mary was the one who drilled japanese into his head not tsutomu

the last time shuichi talked to Mary was when he called her up to tell her to take masumi and leave Japan for Britain after masumi cornered him and scotch him and Mary had a whole argument and after that they stopped talking to each other, not that they talked to each other much in the first place

shuichi learned jee kun do by watching training videos from vhs tapes/cds/YouTube depending on when you consider detco taking place I personally believe conan shrinks in 2018 meaning that tsutomu disappeared in 2001 and shuichi used a mixture of tapes and cds to learn

shuichi can read people really well but has a hard time manipulating people by being nice he can use people by being a jackass very well but trying to be a normal person is hard for him

Yukiko and yusaku remind shuichi of his parents before tsutomu disappeared but like more upbeat

shuichi dislikes full body hugs

akemi and shiho were both anime and romance drama fans so he knows random things about the shows and uses that info to connect with the DB and especially haibara

he considered himself British first and foremost but when asked about whether he considers himself white or asian he'll always go with asian

he started smoking soon after his father disappeared since his father used to smoke and he needed to cope but didn't wanna fall into drugs like cocaine

smoking is heavily looked down upon in America and is seen as unprofessional which helped shuichi go undercover a bunch due to him being a heavy smoker

akemi would make him stop smoking around her and shiho saying that second hand smoking was dangerous and that shuichi who was smoking constantly was going to get lung cancer but he would tell her that he just couldn't stop smoking he did stop smoking around shiho and akemi tho going outside to do it instead

as okiya it makes him go wild because he desperately needs to smoke to cope but okiya cant smoke it doesnt fit his image so he smokes a shit ton at night during his nightly drives

shuichi forced himself not to smoke during his time visiting Japan when he met masumi because he knew Mary would get even more upset with him

shuichi was terrible driving American styled cars and he got so upset that he perfected his drive-in techiuque over the years just to spite the instructor that said he was barely passing

he likes to go on late night drives and speed on the high way because he's a thrill seeking idiot

he has no social media but he created on as okiya Subaru to keep an eye on haibara's higo stan account

he takes offense to the idea that he's stalking haibara he's just p r o t e c t i n g her

he wants shiho to be happy more than anything so he's an avid coai shipper and is exhausted in Conan's obliviousness

shuichi didnt tell shukichi he wasn't actually dead shukichi just walked up to okiya Subaru one day and was like shuuichi-ni-san right? shuichi has long stopped questioning shukichi's weird ways of knowing shit he shouldn't know

shuichi is a sherlockian but he's not like shinichi or hakuba in that he does not hate BBC's Sherlock and actually enjoys it a bit

one upside to shuichi living in America is that he gets to hoard guns because he's obsessed with them he thinks they're really cool it's like conan with Sherlock he starts yapping his mouth of about them

bourbon once dangled a gun on in front of a sleeping shuichi cuz he didnt believe scotch when he said that rye was obsessed with guns and started saying incorrect shit about the type of gun he was holding and shuichi just shot up and started berating him

shuichi hates that chianti is a killer because she's the only person who's as much as a gun fanatic as he is

he tends to steal Jodie's car a lot

he likes fucking with peoples heads it's very fun to him to watch them get all worked up

shuichi hasn't mourned his father yet because he doesnt believe his father’s dead

deep down he blames his father for his mother going slightly bonkers

he didnt want masumi to be a detective at first but now hes proud of her

he drinks a lot as okiya Subaru since he cant smoke as much

he's willing to go to hell if it means he can rip gin from limp to limp

he really hates gin yall I dont think I can convey how much he hates gin