#catch me using that quote in multiple fandoms

[corinthianrm0]

hahahahahahahaaaaa *weeps*

[yourlocalsmutwriter]

Bookish girlfriend you're my yum yum - Mark Webber x reader

Summary : After going viral on book social media, you give the fans a completely new side of you. It catches the eye of an author (who happens to be a 9 GP winner)

inkscentedglamour: Squeezing in some last girly romance books before I film a new video for you 👀

username: Our queen is finally trying romantasy, I can feel it.

username: I need another object x human romance. I know it was an April Fools thing, but I need her to read Double Stuffed

username: DARK ROMANCE. DARK ROMANCE. DARK ROMANCE.

username : I know the sports romance PR is talking to her like the Green Goblin Mask

> username : Especially the new book with the MMC inspired by Danny Ricciardo

> username: need to rewatch her F1 romance streams on patreon.

username: Do you think this is after Two Girls One Formula podcast backlash?

> username: The girls brought her on to talk about books, specifically romances. I don't understand why the fans were attacking her for not talking much about the current grid and things like that and focusing on the fiction.

> username: Especially when she has said many times that she's easing into the fandom. How would you feel if people bullied you for starting with edits/ fanfics and books, like she's doing?

inkscentedglamour: Writing my script for the upcoming video and staring at what got me here

username: Throttled slander era, you will forever be famous

> username: The way she started off so hesitant to give it a bad review or DNF it. This was her first 1 star. People died.

> username: Asking people to still try it for themselves and to not just judge it based on her review. Cemented her as my favorite BookTuber, I fear.

username: The fact that she still followed through and read the entire series. And rearranged her entire Goodreads ratings after that? Iconic

> username: I miss her giving 5 stars. But the quote "if I can be cruel enough to give 1 star, then I don't think I should be generous to give 5 stars to any book, but one" will forever live on.

inkscentedglamour: New video, out now

username: MARK WEBBER????? OVER EMILY HENRY????

> username: over Christina Lauren?????? Ali Hazelwood? Katee Robert

username: you're telling me an Australian driver who retired like 10 years ago is her favorite author??? And was the driving force for her to get her to watch a GP?

username: she's the queen of Booktok, has talked about every book boyfriend, and now she's into cars that go fast?

aussiegrit: Talked about Porsche, F1, Mentoring Oscar, and my book, somehow. Why is Aussie Grit trending?

username: Oh no, our little Booktuber girl bossed too close to the sun (she has a million subscribers and multiple brand deals)

> username: she got it to 5 stars on Goodreads and onto the trending page on Amazon.

username: Mark, wear the My fake boyfriend drives for F1 mech, and my life is yours

username: @inkscentedglamour, look who sorta knows you exist.

inkscentedglamour: Oh oh

inkscentedglamour: Reading the book 😄🤩🥺 vs. having to describe its impact on you, your career, and the future 🙃😑☠️. If you see me verbally abusing a Google doc at the airport, no you didn't

username: Mark Webber in the likes?????????

> username: I guess he found out why Aussie Grit was trending

username: reading video hiatus is over, society is healing

> username: we haven't gotten a part two of her trip to a random destination yet

> username: true, she just packed and left us on a cliffhanger. Surely we're getting that first

> username: her caption says it all. For book lovers, some of you have no reading comprehension.

inkscentedglamour: I finished reading my book, so it only makes sense to hit the thrift, right? Reading vlog will be up when I'm back home (I was strictly told to relax)

username: the two glasses (which could mean nothing)

> username : this is the girl that relies on our discord pins to drink water, what is going on in the house of commons

username : Mark Webber, here again????????? Before me?????????????

> username: she sped through her book cause she has his new book on pre-order

> username: I just know she'll get it on Kindle too, no way is she waiting til it ships to her house

username: Mark's pr team was sleeping because wdym they didn't reach out to her

> username: And apparently, he's got a launch party coming up with "surprise BookTube influencer" attending

inkscentedglamour : Photographic proof that my favorite author knows I exist. Thank you, @aussiegrit, for the invite. And thanks for getting a decent picture before I cried at the blurb and dedication

aussiegrit: Figured you'd wanna skip the queue at Waterstones. Can't wait for your review of this one (also please re-read the new prologue before posting)

username: Mark has been secretly divorced for a year and was writing this whole book as a therapy exercise??????

> username: he couldn't tell anybody and felt like he was slowly fading into obscurity, which affected his mental health

> username: he was not thinking of releasing this until the OG Aussie Grit review

> username: Mark saying that the YouTube video changed his life, just as much as it did hers

inkscentedglamour: Night and day

Comments on this post have been disabled

14.02.2025,approximately 3 months after the book launch

inkscentedglamour: Valentine's Day, Book Buying Day, and Merch Drop Day. Shop the My Real Boyfriend Drove for F1 tee. And yes, he signed off on this specific hard launch

inkscentedglamour: time to be sappy real quick after the merch plug. Mark has been inspiring me, guiding me and showering me with praise ever since his second book launch. I'm so happy he's in my life and I intend to keep him there for as long as I can. He beats all the bookish boyfriend one can have (yes, even Zafir)

aussiegrit: I'm so glad to have you in my life. You see me and be with me, sharp tongue,flaws and all. I wanna build you bookshelves and watch you put my books on them last. Now stop being a YouTuber for a second and get back to being my girlfriend.

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

Sorry if u have already answered this or this isn’t really ur blog focus but how do u structure and come up with ideas for such good and lengthy analysis?

Do u read and see the shows contents multiple times? Or interact with other fans/ fandom?

And once u have an idea how do u go about it?

— from a small niche fandom blog

I'm honored that you think my stuff is good! As for how I come up with it, well, I'll answer as best I can, but I don't know how useful it will be? If you wanna ask something more specific, feel free!

Most of my posts are responses to asks, so my general process is to read the ask, think about it as I go about my life, and then write a response once I feel like I have my thoughts in order. Then I add the post to my queue so I can reread it at least once before it actually posts to catch any errors and make sure it reads coherently. I usually find the time to do that, though not always.

The posts that aren't asks are just me talking about random things that I can't stop thinking about, so I need to scream into the void to get my brain to move on. Those ideas come from random thoughts, a trend I notice in fanfic, comments/reblogs in my asks, and a whole host of other places. I've got one post in my queue right now that I'm pretty sure was spawned by my latest rewatch of The Good Place, but I can't be sure about that. I don't try to look for post topics, they just come to me.

I don't watch the show over and over. Not really my thing. I've seen all of Miraculous seasons 1 to 3 once and I've seen most of seasons 4 and 5 twice (once subbed, once dubbed). Origins and Oblivio are the only exceptions. They're my favorite episodes, so I think I watched them a few times back before season four aired and my feeling toward the show started to really sour. When I'm pulling quotes, I just rely on my memory and the fan wiki, which has transcripts for all of the English episodes, allowing me to fact check myself. I occasionally pull up a specific episode to check the visuals in a given scene, but that's really rare and I only do it because I have access to the streaming version. If my SO ever cancels Disney+, then I'll be script only.

I read other fan analysis if it crosses my dash, but I don't go looking for it or follow any super active blogs. While I think there are others with valuable input out there, I already spend enough time thinking about Miraculous for my own blog, so I try to focus my energy in other spaces when I'm not managing said blog. I don't like to endlessly scroll on Tumblr and only follow blogs that don't post much to keep from feeling overwhelmed or sucked in.

I started talking about Miraculous on here because I found it genuinely fascinating how badly it was written. I think you could teach an entire class on basic writing principles using Miraculous as a case study because there are so many things it does wrong and failure really is a fantastic teacher. But the analysis I do for Miraculous isn't a skill that's unique to Miraculous. What you see on this blog is my default state. This is just how my brain works. How I engage with the majority of media. When I finish watching or reading something that I didn't like, I want to understand why I didn't like it and how it could be shaped into something I would like.

It's a honed skill. I've been obsessed with story telling since I was a little kid and my parents sort of accidentally started training me on analysis at a young age. Add in years of voracious reading and several excellent English teachers and I'm able to run this blog without too much mental effort. Talking and thinking about writing are legitimately fun for me. This stuff is my "I'm too drained to write" hobby.

None of this makes me some arbiter of quality or means that I understand every point of view about what makes a story good. All it means is that I know enough about writing to be able to clearly articulate why I like or dislike the way a story was told.

I guess that's the one piece of advice I can give. When you find something that bugs you, really think about why. Was it just a matter of taste or is there something more? Does it seem like the flaw is an intentional writing choice or not? Why? What changes could you make to fix the flaw? Can you make those changes without completely rewriting the story? Those are the kinds of fixes I look for first. There are certainly cases where massive change is needed, but looking for small changes will really hone that analytical ability to improve your writing as it forces you to focus on the fine details of the way stories work.

[morverenmaybewrites]

Hi! I have questions for writer you if you don't mind. 👉👈

1. Your current fanfiction (Pizza girl) is really long, and has been going on for more than 7 years. Did you always know what your plot was gonna be? (Do you discovery write?)

2. Your chapters' length is on the longer side (6,6K on average for PG). How do you decide when to cut them?

3. You've been writing for multiple fandoms at the same time. How do you prevent getting overwhelmed and/or dumping an ongoing fic for a new, shinier idea?

4. You have a real life job, but you still find time to write. Do you have tips on how to make yourself write instead of, say, doomscroll all your free time away?

5. You've been writing for some time now. Have you found the self doubts on your ability to write to go away with time? (If you ever had any!)

6. Your writing is full of gut wrenching, emotional scenes. How do you approach them? And how do you find the balance that makes readers invested instead of taken aback/embarrassed?

7. What are the hardest scenes to write for you?

And I think that's it for today. Thank you!!!

Oh wow, this ask was a surprise and a pleasure to get! Lowkey feel like I’m getting interviewed or something. 😂

1. I’ve always known the specific plot beats I want (for example I’ve always wanted it to be a sort of “monster of the week” kind of thing, with the characters encountering different Gotham City villains), but there have been times where I’ve wanted to change the story and/or the theme of a particular set of chapters and just went along with it. For example, the current Man-Bat arc was actually supposed to be really short, and PG was supposed to be get injured during a different arc involving Killer Croc. But as I wrote, I just ended up loving the depth I found in the Langstroms and I ended up wanting to explore more of their story, so I just sort of…absorbed the Killer Croc arc into this one.

2. Honestly, I just cut it when I feel like the chapter is done. Meaning I base the chapter off story beats, not exactly word count. To be honest, in the early days of the fic, I didn’t even realize I was pumping out 10k chapters.

3. What do you mean, anon, look at my AO3. 😂 I absolutely dump fics for a new and shinier story idea. I just got better at not being ashamed of it.

4. Honestly, I wish I knew, anon. I definitely have a history of procrastinating my time away. I did get better at stopping doom-scrolling though (not necessarily to write). Mostly a combination of antidepressants giving me enough energy to actually do the things I want to do and learning to recognize when I’ve just been stuck in a loop of scrolling and putting the phone down to work on something else.

5. Nah, I don’t think it ever really goes away. In fact, I’d say that you get even more insecurities the longer you write. The trick is to write faster than your fear (cannot remember who said this quote. I thought it was Stephen King, but an actual source). Keep writing fast enough that your insecurities can’t catch up to you, can’t make you delete everything you’ve written so far. And when you’ve finished writing a chapter, go back and edit it to turn it into something you’re proud of.

6. There are absolutely parts I write that when I reread, take me aback or make me feel embarrassed. I don’t think that’s going to go away any time soon. I’m human, and my writing isn’t going to be perfect every time. And as for readers, honestly, I have zero idea what will resonate with readers, what will make them cry, what will tug on their heartstrings. Some of my favorite pieces of writing, the ones that I consider reflect a very raw, intimate part of me have gotten ignored or not as much attention as I hoped. Others I banged out while drunk and barely edited, I’ve woken up to find a lot of likes/notes/comments?

All this to say that when I write something emotional or happy or sad or devastating, I just try to be honest. I try to use experiences I’ve had or emotions I’ve felt to describe what the characters are going through. And if it resonates with readers, if they feel seen through my writing then that’s all the better.

7. Honestly, anything that I feel has to be lyrical or beautiful or purplish prose. Like it takes a lot, and I mean, a LOT of effort to even get a few pages out when the writing demands so much of you. I usually end up loving the result, but the process of writing it makes me want to hurl.

Thank you for all these questions, anon! They were a blast to answer!

[pommedepersephone]

I feel like I'm the only one in the Good Omens fandom who doesn't get the subtext behind the "aim for my mouth but shoot past my ear" quote. Do you have thoughts to share on what it means to you?

Ooooh do I. This is probably one of my favorite lines in all of Good Omens. And that is saying something because I'm one of those with an old dog-eared copy of the book AND the S1 script book, both full of underlines (don't tell Aziraphale, he'd be horrified). So, here is my unhinged passionate explanation of what that line means to me, and how I think it actually applies to multiple moments through S2, specifically moments where there is some kind of performance/deception taking place. I will try to keep this only marginally long, so I will break down the three moments I think are MOST important, and then sum it all up at the end. Ready? Here we go!

What the line means in 1941

"Aim for my mouth but shoot past my ear" clearly applies to the mechanisms of the bullet catch in S2E4, so let's start there. What does the bullet catch tell us about their relationship? First, they are always being watched. By humans (the audience) but also by their respective sides (in this case Hell). Second, they have to pretend they don’t know each other but still have ways to communicate throughout their charade. Third, they HAVE to trust one another. Like, a LOT because - Fourth, their relationship puts them both in danger.

In this context, the line is really interesting because the idea of aiming for the mouth and shooting past the ear can also be interpreted as speaking and acting in ways that either pacify or confuse those watching, but that clearly communicate to one another. There is SOMETHING about the fact that in the presence of the Nazis Crowley speaks very plainly but in a way only Aziraphale would REALLY understand - “If the bomb does land here, it would take a real miracle for my friend and I to survive it” - yet when they are being watched unaware the line that the Nazis manage to get is “banana, fish, gorilla, shoelace with dash of nutmeg” because never, not even alone, do they speak in a completely straightforward manner. This does not mean they do not communicate, it means they communicate in their own language.

What the line means in Job

But wait! There is MORE! Because 1941 isn’t the first time we’ve seen these two perform for an audience! "Aim for my mouth but shoot past my ear" also applies in Job. There is one big difference - at the start of the story, Crawley is performing alone. He is saying all the right demonic things - "I want to. I long to destroy the blameless children of blameless Job, just as I destroyed his blameless goats." And at first, Aziraphale is in the audience, unaware of the sleight of hand taking place in front of him. But Crawley offers to read him in by showing him… the crows. And Aziraphale ends up stepping into the roll of magician’s assistant as Crawley works to save Job’s kids, human and otherwise.

What I find interesting is the way you can think about mouths and ears here - Crawley lets him hear the crows bleat (shoot past my ear) which lets Aziraphale understand who Crawley really is. Then Crawley offers him the ox rib (aim for my mouth) which in some ways makes Aziraphale begin to actually examine who HE is. Both are necessary if they are going to eventually become An Us, and it really starts here, with Job.

What the line means in the Final Fifteen

By the time we get to present-day S2 “Aim for my mouth but shoot past my ear” has taken on such a deep meaning for these two man-shaped beings. Their communication is so rich and layered, where they speak in metaphors and puns and have rituals like the I Was Wrong dance. I mean, just look at this silly little act of love -

I. Simply. Cannot. These two! They deeply enjoy one another. BUT this very complicated language they have developed together only works when they are ON THE SAME PAGE.

What happens in the Final Fifteen? They stop speaking the same language. For the sake of this analysis, we are assuming that Aziraphale is feeling threatened, and is aware that Metatron has ill intent, okay? Okay. In that context… just like 1941, they are AGAIN being watched (this time by Heaven), pretending they don’t know certain things about each other, need to trust each other and their relationship has put them in danger. But here is the kicker - they have slipped back into their roles from the start of Job, except reversed. They don’t have the same information and awareness. Fell the Marvelous is desperately putting on the performance of his life, and Crowley doesn’t even know they are on stage. There was no time for a backroom conversation to discuss the finer points of the trick. In the end, Crowley decides “fuck shooting past your ear, you aren’t hearing me."

And in the MOST devastating way possible, these two aimed for the mouth and shot right past each other's ears. Ouch. OUCH.

*Clears throat, dries eyes* in summary, this little line of poetry does a heavy lift for S2. It applies to scenes where a performance/sleight of hand is taking place, but it reads differently in each one. Importantly, "Aim for my mouth but shoot past my ear" only works out when they are properly partnering not pretendy partnering. If there is information withheld, or they aren't in agreement (this applies to Edinburgh toooooo) things just implode. They have to have TRUST for this to work.

Just in case I seem even remotely normal at this point, here is the little poem I wrote after watching S2 the first time, as the brainrot started to take real hold:

aim for my mouth and shoot past my ear

tell me the lines but show me your eyes

so i learn how hearts can hide truth in lies

here beside you

aim for my mouth and shoot past my ear

i promise to burn you if you hold the match

you walk through fire but i'll turn to ash

a shade grey for you

aim for my mouth and shoot past my ear

show me the words i can't seem to hear

give me something to hold as i go through my fear

and here return to you

[tophat-69]

Hey Hattie :) How do you usually come up with/write your stories? Like for example, do you get an idea and start to plan the whole fic around it until the end, or do you just start and go about it as you write? Do you listen to music while writing? And do you write for more than one fic simultaneously or focus on one fic at a time? Does it take you long to edit?

Hope those aren't silly questions, I'm just really curious cause I'm genuinely in love with your writing and to me, your writing style is so perfectly flowing, captivating and unique, I haven't come across many other fics that I enjoyed as much as yours (I read and loved all of your bsd fics and treasure them so much) <3

First, I’m so glad you’ve enjoyed my BSD fics! I know I’ve wandered a bit afield, but I still consider it my home fandom and plan to get back to it once my brain can latch back onto the manga. I nosedived into a new hyperfixation at the same time that I hit “I think I’d rather catch up to this all at once than try to figure out wtf is happening” with BSD, and it sort of threw me out of the writing headspace for them at an inopportune moment.

Now though I’m going to ramble and sound a bit chaotic because the truth is there is no rhyme or reason to how my brain works. And I really, really wish there was.

First, the easy part—I am always writing. I’ll have multiple stories going at once, but not all of them will ever see the light of day and some of the ones that will, I still post anonymously. It’s an old habit and probably a bad habit, but the idea of being Perceived still makes me nervous at times. And sometimes it’s just self-consciousness that I’ve been taken hostage by a fandom or story when I’m in the middle of something for another one. I often worry that it might frustrate or disappoint my friends who read my other works (see: what I tried to do with it’s the good, defining itself, my first Arcane fic, by starting it anonymously. I knew I was supposed to be writing my Detective!Chuuya AU but was kidnapped by codependent gay scientists).

Next easy part—I edit as I go, and then promptly open the chapter back up after posting to fix what I missed in the first place. Also to remove all the times that AO3 wants to add a space in front of punctuation. That part drives me nuts. …But then ANY time I read some part of something I’ve written, I inevitably go back in and tweak my wording for clarity. Or I fix my comma splices. Or to un-italicize words because I often write the way that I would read it aloud, but emphasis like that can be annoying. Or I rearrange a sentence within a paragraph to flow better. I genuinely cannot seem to open something I’ve written without doing that.

Which is why I don’t go back and reread my old works often and why when I get a comment on a previous fic it’s like falling down a rabbit hole in my own brain because “huh. I DID do that, didn’t I?”

Okay, now the harder answers! Sometimes an idea sort of thumps me upside the head and makes me do it. That one always includes when canon is going one way and I inevitably think “but what if it went THIS way instead!” Canon divergence and plot hole fillers are a staple for me. But then there are times where I know WHO I want to write for because they won’t shut up in my head, but I want to challenge myself. I’ve actually used trope spinners for that before, like Wheel of Fic. That’s actually how I ended up with April’s Fool and in its peculiar silence, actually! I had no plans whatsoever, I let it give me simple trope prompt, and then I stayed up all night writing something out of thin air.

…Which brings me to another answer. I veer wildly between being a “pantser” and a “plotter” as a writer. Some things it is entirely by the seat of my pants—and that’s not always just my short fics, either. I’ve got ideas, but pulling them together at the end is as surprising for me as it is for the reader. Sometimes I have things completely timelined, an outline, chapter quotes selected, twenty tabs of history and research open. And sometimes I go through all of that and still throw all of it out the window because something that would be more emotionally evocative came along.

For centrifugal/centripetal, for instance, I have several almost fully-written chapters sitting in a doc that never even made it in because I tossed them for something that hurt more.

Now, music! That… also depends. If I am nose to the grindstone just putting out chapter after chapter, chances are I don’t have music on because my brain is at capacity. But if I’m writing just to write, or as relaxation, I usually put something on. Usually nothing too booming, but I try to find an album or artist that fits the vibe and go with it.

Anyway, sorry for the long answers and thank you—genuinely—for the questions!

[dandelionsandderivatives]

1, 2, 8, 10, 18, 20, 23, 25, and 29 for the fic writer asks, if you please?

1. What is the crackiest* thing you’ve ever written? (*I mean this with great affection)

I'm so glad you asked! I have a fic where Emperor Palpatine (from Star Wars) goes on a blind date with Maleficent (from Disney's Sleeping Beauty). It's one of my favorite pieces, and it has one of the lowest kudos-to-hits ratios of anything I've written (especially once you adjust for the amount of time it's been up). I'm a firm believer that the best crack is always crack taken seriously, and I love this fic because I truly believe Maleficent and Emperor Palpatine would have great chemistry. It's extremely silly and I love it dearly.

2. Has writing a fic ever changed your opinion of a character?

Hmmm, not off the top of my head, but getting into fic writing has definitely made me examine characters a bit more deeply. So, not directly, but possibly indirectly?

8. Tell us your shortest and longest titles of all time

I have a few one-word titles, and the longest is a quote from the Bible: "His Left Hand Is under My Head, and His Right Hand doth Embrace Me."

(I'm very proud of that one. I managed to make Song of Solomon angsty.)

10. What’s a phrase you catch yourself using in multiple fics, not necessarily on purpose?

Mmm, not sure? I try pretty hard to match my prose to the prose/feel of my source material, and I think that masks my own style quite a bit.

18. If you have noticed themes emerging in your writing, what are they? What broad themes and topics do you enjoy exploring?

I write a lot of introspection. I think regret comes up fairly often, and "trying to connect with people and overthinking it."

20. What’s the story behind your pen name?

I answered this one in a little more detail in another post, but it's a reference to Gilbert and Sullivan.

23. What is your #1 distraction when you’re trying to write? If it’s a pet, post a pic

Probably actual work! Dishes and schoolwork. :)

25. Someone you know outside of fandom has heard that you’re a writer. “I’d like to read something of yours!” they say with sincere enthusiasm. “Where can I find it?” What’s your answer?

Depends on the person! Some of my friends, who definitely read fanfiction, get a link (I have an irl friend or two as a mutual on this site, and my siblings beta-read for me). Other people get a vague, "oh, I'll let you know when I write something good!"

29. Have you ever actually remembered one of those 3am “I’ll remember it in the morning” ideas?

Bits and pieces? Last time this happened, I wrote it down, and when I checked it in the morning it was complete nonsense.

[bucktommyweek]

Resources for Writing

Hey everyone!

I am not necessarily the best person to ask about this but I have had a couple of conversations/asks about ao3, how it works, as well as asking for some tips if you're new to a fandom or to writing fan fiction as a whole.

I am not a great writer by any means but here are a few things I find essential and some resources/writeblr's I follow on here.

I also think fic should be as accessible to as many people as possible, just like books, so there are some tips on how to make your works more accessible.

These are also not requirements to participate in BuckTommyWeek, so please do not think that, or that I am trying to tell you what you must do to participate. These are simply tips I have found helpful over the years since learning how to to write.

- Paragraphs - 

It is better to have more paragraphs than it is to have less, especially to make your writing more accessibly paced for screen readers. Long paragraphs can make it hard to read.

Start a new paragraph when a different character is speaking. This will make it easier to discern who is saying what.

Start a new paragraph when there is a new topic/time change/event.

Start a new paragraph for dramatic effect.

Here is an example using one of my own fics.

Without paragraph breaks

In my example, we don't know that Chimney is the second voice until the word "replied" because the dialogue is squished together.

The second paragraph would be hard for some people to read but especially those with  a screen reader. The screen reader won't pause, so the pacing would be off for someone using one.

Here is an example from the same fic, only edited

We can now see with the paragraphs that the first voice (Tommy) and the second voice (Chimney) are different, even before we get to, "Chimney replied."

The paragraphs are also used for dramatic effect, in an attempt by me to help the reader understand that Buck is not only listening, but he is confused.

- Quotes -

Using quotations when someone is talking will help decipher speech from action or description. This also helps with accessibility.

Note: For anyone using Grammarly, it LOVES to remove opening quotations from the middle of paragraphs, it's done it to me so often I have tried to catch it but sometimes don't.

Example One: Sorry, I'm late, the fire was a beast Tommy said as he approached Buck from the doorway.

So are you replied Buck.

Example Two:

"Sorry I'm late, the fire was a beat," Tommy said as he approached Buck from the doorway.

"So are you," replied Buck.

- ao3 -

-Page Breaks for Accessibility -

This recommendation is mainly accessibility related and that is how you break up time jumps or scene changes within your fic when posting to AO3.

For accessibility with screen readers, what some people input as page breaks does not translate well.

This was something I didn't know until I was told but hyphens, often used as page breaks, get read aloud. It was something I never even thought of.

So if you have multiple hyphens, it will literally be read aloud repeatedly, depending on how many you have.

Example 1:

Buck pulled Tommy close, hand gripping his neck as they kissed.

---- will be read as, "hyphen hyphen hyphen hyphen," out loud.

Buck entered Chimney's hospital room ahead of Tommy.

AO3 has something that can fix this, but it does involve switching from HTML to Rich Text mode.

Example 2:

Click on Rich Text after you have copied your work in, or copy it into Rich Text mode in the first place

2. Click on the line button and a line will be inserted. This will be read as a break by a screen reader.

As far as ao3 goes, I use their own FAQ page whenever I'm looking for help on the site.

I will however show you my personal favourite part of ao3.

This button lets people know you liked their fic:

This button lets you save the fic to your ao3 account, AND you can make it private OR you can make it a Rec.

This will help other people find the fic, and you can make notes. However please note that the writer can see what you say there. I've never personally had any terrible bookmarks, but there have been some that kind of sucked, if I'm honest.

The most important section of ao3 for me as a creator, and many other creators is this.

I know comments can be intimidating, but a simple heart emoji, an "I loved this," or "This part was my fave," can really make a creator's day.

It can inspire them to write more, and to know that they are not just yelling into the void.

This got really long-winded so I do apologize but I hope I helped in some way.

-

Some writeblr's I follow myself to help with my writing: @fixyourwritinghabits @novlr @heywriters @wordsnstuff @handywritingresources

I also have my own writeblr which is under utilized for sure @projectwriteherewritenow

If you've read this far, thanks! If you have any questions asks are open or you can hit me up @evan-privileges (formerly alilypea)

Late tip: Don't use the word JUST much as I do. Dang lol.

[writesvani]

GET TO KNOW YOUR MUTUALS | TAG GAME

thank you kiki (@jungkoode) for tagging me you menace to society!!! this seems so fun i had no choice but to participate. let’s dive in before i start rethinking my life choices.

What’s the origin of your blog title?

As for this question—“writes” is self-explanatory because, well, I write (shocking, I know). “Vani” is a pen name, not a nickname—she's the mysterious alter ego who comes out when the Google Docs are open and the trauma needs fictionalizing. It’s loosely connected to my real name, but no one in real life calls me that (and if they did, I’d simply vanish into the void).

Favorite fandoms:

Favorite fandoms? Buckle up. BTS (ARMY forever), Haikyuu (yes, I would die for Oikawa), Naruto (childhood trauma but make it ninja), FORMULA 1—if you watch F1, please DM me so we can scream about tire strategies and dramatic team radios. Also MotoGP (because two wheels = double the chaos), The Hunger Games (Team Katniss always), Divergent (we don’t talk about Allegiant), FC Barcelona (Visca Barça, obviously), Marvel (I MISS U TONY) and like… a thousand others. I’m everywhere. I have no peace.

OTP(s)/shipname:

Favorite ships? Okay, so I claim I don’t really ship people... until I do. It’s a vibe thing, alright? I rarely focus on romantic dynamics (brain said emotional damage only), but when I do ship, it’s elite. Chuck & Blair? Toxic royalty. Mark & Lexie? I’m still grieving. Satoru & Suguru? Pain. Just pain. And Zendaya & Tom Holland—listen, I never ship real people… except them. Because they are goals and my exceptions list has exactly one entry.

Favorite color:

Sage green (respect her), burgundy red (like elegant blood), and literally any shade of pink. Baby pink? Love. Hot pink? Iconic. Millennial pink? Still thriving. If a color screams “soft but also might ruin your life,” I’m into it.

Favorite game:

I was never much of a gamer—like, gaming culture never really grabbed me by the soul. I know the basics: COD, LoL, Overwatch... and like three more if I’m caffeinated enough. BUT my one true gaming love? Sims 4. And yes, I use the Wicked Whims mod. This is not a family-friendly household. Everyone’s hot. Everyone’s dramatic. Everyone’s fucking. It’s chaos and I thrive in it.

Song stuck in your head:

Currently playing in the chaotic concert that is my brain: “Uh Uh” by Clavish on repeat like I owe it money, “Maria” by Justin Bieber for literally no reason (???) and “Cyclone” by T-Pain because apparently 2007 never left my soul. I don’t know what’s going on with my music taste lately—it's giving Spotify possessed by multiple personalities.

Weirdest habit/trait?

IDK if this is weird but… maladaptive daydreaming? Yeah, I’m in deep. Like, wake up, make coffee, light a cig, put on earphones, cue the most unhinged playlist ever—and suddenly I’m pacing through my apartment like I’m in a music video directed by delusion. Full-blown cinematic universe in my head. Sometimes I pause and think, “am I okay?” (Answer: no, but I’m committed). Also? I hate eating in front of people unless we’re close enough to trauma bond. Otherwise, I will simply starve in silence, thanks.

Hobbies:

My hobbies? Writing, reading, going out (yes, that is a hobby—don’t fight me), and shopping… which I’ve mentioned, like, 47 times already because it’s basically a personality trait at this point. I love socializing so if there’s a group activity? I’m in. Board games? I’ll crush you. Sports? I’ll pretend I know the rules. Going to church? Sure, let’s vibe with God. I’m that friend—the “down for anything, shows up to everything, will not say no” type. Just invite me and watch me thrive.

If you work, what’s your profession?

Currently living my double life as a full-time law student by day and a barista by... also day, because capitalism. Serving legal knowledge AND oat milk lattes with equal finesse. Lady in the streets, freak in the sheets and a menace in the courtroom. Catch me quoting constitutional law while foaming milk like a pro. It’s called range, look it up.

If you could have any job you wish, what would it be?

Well, I’d be a journalist, but my country is so freaking corrupted that you can't get a job in that field unless you're willing to play unethical games or have some shady connections. So, here I am, dreaming of headlines while sipping overpriced coffee and side-eyeing the system. It's a vibe. Truly, a vibe.

Something you’re good at:

I’m good at anything I do... just kidding. But I’ve got a pretty wide range of things I can do and I’m a quick learner. Like, I can pick up languages faster than most people change their socks, I can write emotionally devastating angst like it's my side hustle, and my latte art is chef's kiss. Cocktails? Perfectly mixed, always. Also, I’m lowkey a badminton master—shhh, it’s my secret talent. I can probably also do a cartwheel, solve a Rubik's cube, and give unsolicited advice like a pro (just say the word). I’m versatile, what can I say? I'm also reaaaaally good at working under stress.

Something you’re bad at:

I’m really bad at volleyball and basketball, even though they’re some of my favorite sports. Truly tragic. I’m also a terrible singer, and it’s extra painful because my mom is a literal singer and can belt out notes like an angel. I’m bad at making good decisions, but honestly, who isn’t? It’s a mood. Oh, and let’s not talk about my drawing skills—I can’t draw for shit. I can barely make a stick figure look good. It’s like the universe said, “here’s all the talent, except the ones you want.”

Something you love:

I love my family and best friends—they’re my ride or die. Like, genuinely close to them. Also, The Weeknd? Absolutely obsessed. Fun fact: my entire end-of-high-school essay was about him and his life and work (yes, I’m that extra). I also have a special place in my heart for emotionally constipated characters because, let’s be real, we all secretly love that angst. And yes, I’ve mentioned it before, but I really love latte art. Coffee is life—especially the first cup in the morning, that’s when I’m most alive. Oh, and summer and spring? Don’t even get me started—sunshine and flowers (tulips the most) are my whole vibe.

Something you could talk about for hours off the cuff:

My fics. No seriously—I’m not joking. I could go on and on and ON. My best friend is probably one eye twitch away from losing it but he tolerates the chaos because, well, he loves me (and he knows I’m iconic). I also spiral over politics, CAPITALISM (yes, all caps), and traveling—drop me in a random country and I will thrive. Favorite memories? I romanticize the past like it’s my full-time job. Also, Yoongi’s lyrics? Don’t even get me started unless you have 7 business days to spare. Honestly, I’m super talkative and can have a full conversation about anything. It’s genuinely hard not to find a common topic with me. Try me.

Something you hate:

Slow walkers—why are you moving like the floor is lava? Judgmental people—congrats on being miserable, I guess? People who interrupt me mid-sentence? No. Just no. Bugs? Absolutely not. Bridges? Every time I walk or drive over one, my brain whispers “this is it, this is how we go.” Also, corruption—because apparently some people wake up and choose evil and bad vibes.

Something you collect:

I collect books and purses like a classy little rat. I think I already mentioned my shopping addiction—retail therapy is my religion—and purses? I’m WEAK. I see a cute bag and suddenly I have zero self-control. Oh, and let’s not forget my most tragic collection: emotionally unavailable men. Cue "My Collection" by Future playing in the background while I stare out the window dramatically.

Something you forget:

DON’T HATE ME but I forget dates like it’s my side hustle. Birthdays? Anniversaries? National “Don’t Forget” Day? All gone. It’s not personal—I just live in a mental fog 24/7. I also always forget to pack something for a trip, even though I make detailed lists like I’m preparing for war. And calling back? Yeah… about that. I’ll always text back like a responsible adult™ but calls? They enter the void. I love you, I just forget you exist temporarily.

What’s your love language?

Words of appreciation. I’m not gonna lie—it’s deeply tied to a lot of childhood trauma and, yeah, borderline insecurities. When people express their appreciation for me, it hits different, like a little piece of healing. It’s not always easy to ask for it, but it means the world when it’s genuine.

Favorite movie/show:

My all-time favorite movies? Requiem for a Dream and Black Swan—because who doesn’t love a good psychological unraveling? Honestly, I’m all about psychological thrillers, the more mind-bending, the better. As for shows, Gossip Girl and Sex and the City are timeless, and let’s not forget The Originals—that’s my comfort show. But don’t even get me started on Scandal, because Olivia Pope is a queen, and I will die on that hill.

Favorite food:

Mashed potatoes. What more can I say? I could eat them for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and I'd be content. Literally, just give me a bowl of mashed potatoes and I’m living my best life. I don't need anything else—it's a whole meal, a vibe, and my soul food all in one.

Favorite animal:

Koalas and wolves. Koalas are ridiculously cute, and wolves? They're just straight-up cool. It’s the perfect combo of adorable and badass, and I’m all for it.

Are you musical?

I know how to play the piano, but I don't really do it much. It's not that I'm not musical at all, I just prefer vibing out to music rather than making it myself. Sometimes, it’s just better to let the tunes wash over you.

What were you like as a child?

As a child, I was a know-it-all. I preferred hanging with the adults because I thought I was “too good” for the kids. But things weren’t as perfect as they seemed—I was messed up from my parents’ divorce, chubby, and insecure. I was the best kid in class, though. High school came along, and I suddenly got “pretty and hot,” which led me to become friends with the popular, problematic squad. That’s when I became really dependent on male validation. I grew out of the know-it-all phase, but I was drinking and smoking like it was an Olympic sport. Thankfully, I’m good now, but it was a wild ride.

Favorite subject at school?

Rhetoric, linguistics, and literature. I’ve always loved playing with words and understanding how language works. Those subjects were my jam—they felt like puzzles waiting to be solved.

Least favorite subject?

Math, physics, chemistry... anything connected to those subjects? Please, no. Give me a page full of words to play with, not numbers and elements. I’d rather dive into a good book than try to figure out what X equals or how molecules bond.

What’s your best character trait?

I guess I’m pretty empathetic, and I see that as a solid trait. I tend to approach things from a very objective standpoint too, which helps me keep a clear head when emotions run high.

What’s your worst character trait?

Thanks to my objectivity, I can be pretty harsh, which sometimes ends up hurting others. It's a bit of a double-edged sword. I’m also extremely stubborn and usually don’t take advice—I just do whatever I want, even if it’s bad for me.

If you could change any detail of your day right now what would it be?

Honestly, I wish I had a home-cooked meal waiting for me every time I stumble back from work/uni. It’s the little things, you know? Like, someone just magically knew I was going to be dead tired and prepared food for me. I miss that so much since moving out. Now I have to deal with microwaving things and pretending it’s a “gourmet experience.” I miss my family—someone just made the meal because they cared. Meanwhile, I’m over here with frozen pizza and existential dread.

If you could travel in time who would you like to meet?

First, I want to meet my mom when she was a kid, just so I can hug her and say, “It'll be okay.” Then, I want to meet my grandpa from my dad’s side, who died before I was born, because apparently, my dad was super close to him, and I just need to see if he was as cool as my dad says he was (and possibly steal some life wisdom). Next up: I want to go to music festivals with my uncle when he was a teen. I feel like that would be one chaotic, unforgettable experience. Then, obviously, Tupac and Kurt Cobain—imagine the conversation! And last but not least, Alexander the Great—because let’s be real, meeting a conqueror would be a flex. Like, “Yeah, I met a historical legend, no biggie.” I’m just out here trying to gather an all-star team of dead legends for a party in the afterlife.

Recommend one of your favorite fanfics (spread the love):

READ MATILDA BY @babystrcandy . That fic singlehandedly resurrected my fanfic-writing corpse. I read it, cried like I just got dumped via text, lit a dramatic cigarette like I was in a French indie film, stared at the wall for five minutes, and then sat in front of my laptop at 2AM like some caffeinated, emotionally unstable cryptid and started writing again. So if I ever publish a novel, blame @babystrcandy . Actually—thank them. But also blame them.

♡

I'm tagging @saatorus and @kooverses to do this too because chaos loves company, but honestly—everyone's invited. If you’ve read this far, consider yourself tagged. I’m lurking in the replies like a nosy aunt at a family gathering, so don’t disappoint me. I will be reading your answers like it's my full-time job.

[saphushia]

|| WARNING || FAQ ||

Hi ^-^ I'm Saph, use they/them & ne/nem/nir pronouns, and you can use any masculine or neutral terms to refer to me.

I'm an artist who makes illustrations and comics for assorted fandoms, original concepts, and ocs. I'm multi-fandom and swap interests a lot! you can find a list of (most) fandoms/media i'm familiar with on my website here.

❕ Note [4/21/25] ❕

anon asks are temporarily turned off due to a surge of spam asks. Hopefully i'll be able to turn them back on in a couple weeks, sorry!

Warning TL;DR ➡

I am a proshipper, meaning i'm against harassing creators over "problematic" ships/fictional works. I block folks with "anti", "proship DNI", or "basic DNI criteria" in their bio/pinned/etc.

I cannot guarantee triggering content and spoilers in my posts will be tagged accordingly.

I sometimes post sexually suggestive art/memes. It's recommended followers are 18+

Quick Info ➡

Commissions: custom orders only. DM or see below for info Requests: open. no guarantee I'll do them Tune Trade: open. max of 3 songs per ask Digimon Dex Progress: private in-dev. data entry 11% complete Other Accounts: Bluesky (less active)

Pinned post updated 5/7/25

⬇ Tag List & Extended Info ⬇

|| BASIC TAGS ||

ART:

⭐ #art - all art ⭐ #sketchbook - traditional art ⭐ #timelapse - art with process timelapses (recorded in CSP) ⭐ #oc - art of my (and my partner's) OCs ⭐ #fanart - what it says on the tin, lol

GENERAL:

⭐ #talking - my text posts ⭐ #poll - polls i make ⭐ #answers - responding to asks ⭐ #tune trade - sharing song recs with followers in my ongoing ask game (I spam this at times, so feel free to block this tag)

|| COMMISSIONS | CUSTOM ORDERS ONLY ||

Currently, most of my energy is taken up by my real job, and I spend most of my free time on my own works, therefore i have no plans to open formal commission slots in the near future. Despite that, I am open to taking commissions on a case-by-case basis. If you are interested in a commission, you can DM me here on tumblr and we can discuss details. I'm fairly likely to take most custom commissions so long so long as I don't currently have pressing real life obligations.

I accept commissions for OCs and (most) fandoms. I am open to discussing taking NSFW commissions.

prices are typically a flat price based on an estimation of the time it will take to draw the piece, at a rate of approximately 20-25$USD/hr. most of my finished works seen on this blog take between 4-8 hours. all commissions require 50% payment up front (via paypal only) before starting.

You're welcome to contact me at any time to see if im open for commissions, discuss details on a desired piece, for a more concrete price quote, or any other questions regarding commissions.

|| REQUESTS | OPEN ||

Requests are taken as suggestions, and will only be completed if they catch my interest. As such, only requests for fandoms/media i'm familiar with and my own characters are likely to be drawn

|| TUNE TRADE | OPEN - 3 SONGS PER ASK ||

Tune trade is an ask game I started in order to share music with my followers and discover new songs, and is almost constantly ongoing! Send an ask recommending up to 3 songs you enjoy to me, I'll let you know my thoughts on them, and I'll give you song recommendations of my own!

Anyone is welcome to send music of any genre, as I love discovering vast varieties of music and listening to new things, even if they don't become a new favorite! I love hearing music from lesser-known musicians especially! I tend to enjoy any music that can be described as "going hard," but like I said, anything goes! Variety is the spice of life, and keeps me from searching a random noun on soundcloud and trawling through the results for hours simply because I'm deprived of new songs i've never heard before.

(if you have more than 3 songs you wanna send, you're welcome to send multiple asks! just not back-to-back. This just makes it easier for me to go through asks ^-^)

[SONGS MY FOLLOWERS REC'ED] (spotify)

[SONGS I'VE REC'ED] (spotify)

all tune trade posts are tagged #tune trade (feel free to block this tag if you'd like to avoid spam)

|| DIGIMON DEX | PRIVATE IN-DEV ||

a work-in-progress website functioning as a visual encyclopedia of all digimon, with multi-filter sorting based on appearance and more. intended as a resource for fan creators. There is currently no public build, and no estimate of when it will be complete/available for public use, as I simply work on it when I am in the mood for mindless data entry busy work.

if you are a digimon fan, and this sounds like a useful tool to you, please send suggestions for filtering categories you would find helpful!

current filters are: 1) level || 2) attribute || 3) field || 4) color || 5) terrain [flying, swimming, etc] || 6) appearance [beast, humanoid, etc] || 7) element [unofficial, based on appearance/signature attacks] || 8) x-antibody [y/n] || 9) weapon

[key: red = not started | orange = in-progress | green = complete ]

Data input for digimon entries: 11% complete

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

To-Do:

-css styling for UI

-confirm use of assets

-css styling for digimon entries

-implement changelog

-implement credits

-digimon expanded details view?

-come up with better name than "digimon dex" (lol)

[twinkle-320]

Hold On

“Quote Me on This” Prompt Challenge:  I was given the quote “The best thing to hold onto in life is each other”.  It appears in the mood board below and will be bolded in the story.

Fandom: The Royal Romance

Pairing: Riley & Drake, Liam & Olivia

Rating: MA

Warnings: Grief, mentions of death, mildly graphic details of injuries

Disclaimer:  I am not a healthcare professional, all details of medical care and injuries are fictional dramatizations for the purposes of this story and I do not proclaim them to be accurate in real life.

Word Count:  3796 (sorry!)

A/N:  After receiving multiple requests for a follow up to my Choices Prompt Challenge submission ‘Promise Me’ (read here), I decided to use this challenge to answer the call.  If you haven’t read that one, this one won’t make much sense.  There is a time jump between that story and this one, and this is long so I could wrap this up without turning it into a mini-series :)

A/N 2:  I kept this in the first person from Riley’s POV in keeping with the style of ‘Promise Me’ but it does jump between present and past tense with Riley thinking back on the time between where that story ended and where she is now.  Please forgive any errors in grammar or tense, as this is not my usual style.

Quote Me on This Challenge Tags: @dcbbw @debramcg1106 @burnsoslow @twinkleallnight @argylemnwrites @yourquietarioso @bebepac @peonierose @leelee10898 @riseandshinelittleblossom @angelasscribbles @harleybeaumont

Taglist: @ladyangel70 @gkittylove99 @lovingchoices14 @petiteboheme @kingliam2019 @differenttyphoonwerewolf @walkerdrakewalker @alyshak92

“I’m sorry, Lucas. I really am, but I can’t come back yet…”  I nod as if I’m on a video chat, but I know my boss can’t see me.  “No, no…it’s fine.  I understand and I appreciate you accommodating me as long as you have.  I’ve loved my time with the firm and I’m grateful for the opportunity you gave me…Yes, thank you Lucas…you too.”  When the line goes dead, my body shakes with the sob I’ve been holding in.

Outside it’s a rainy day but there is just enough light from the setting sun to allow me to catch my reflection in the window.  In the mirrored image, the tears running down my cheeks blend with the raindrops on the window.  Just beyond the glass, life goes on and the world moves forward, but inside these walls, I feel like time is standing still.

It’s been seven months since I returned to Cordonia and I’ve been trying to balance life back home with my need to be here.  To say it isn’t going well would be an understatement.

For the first time in my life, I was just fired from a job or, ‘let go’, as Lucas had delicately put it.  It should feel crushing to lose my dream job but honestly, I can’t blame them.  My clients need and deserve an attorney and agent that can give them undivided attention and I can’t do that right now.  I’ve been working remotely, filing motions, writing briefs, and negotiating contracts but I can’t provide that personal touch from thousands of miles away and when you’re dealing with athletes and actors like I am, that personal touch means everything.

I feel myself on the edge of a breakdown and I can’t allow myself to lose my shit right now; not here. Mere feet from where I stand, watching the sky weep with me, the man I love is lying in a bed, still fighting for his life.  Machines beep as they monitor every aspect of his body and vitals, and the spikes on the brainwave monitor are all the proof I need that he can hear me, so losing it in front of him is not an option.

Moving to the far side of his bed, away from the monitors, I brush his chestnut brown hair away from his eyes and place a gentle kiss on his forehead. “You are in desperate need of a haircut, my love,” I whisper. “I love you. I’ll be right back.”

Across from me, the monitor beeps, registering another spike. It always does after I tell him I love him. While I long for nothing more than to hear his voice, I’ve started to think of the beeps as him saying ‘I love you too’.

Unable to fight the tears any longer I rush from the room, and head for my suite right next door.  Most people would exploit their friendship with a king by asking for political favors or seeking personal gain but all I want is permission to stay here around the clock.  Of course, I have a room at the palace too for those days where Liam insists that I need a break which was initially once a week but he has become more insistent more often recently.

My visits to the palace are bittersweet.  I love spending time with Olivia and the kids but…I hate myself for the resentment I feel.  I never let it show, it wouldn’t be fair to Liv. She is carrying around a hefty dose of survivors’ guilt as it is but…I can’t stop myself from thinking it.

Five minutes after I curl up on the bed and fall apart, my breakdown is interrupted by a knock on the door.

“Excuse me, Riley?” Dr. Hastings says, peeking his head in.  I’m not pleased with the intrusion but I’m glad I’ve finally broken him of calling me Ms. Nevin.

“Hi Dr. Hastings,” I say, sitting up and wiping away my tears.

“Shift change is coming up, I just thought I’d give you a run-down of today’s tests and vitals.”

All I can do is nod my head and prepare myself to hear more of the same.  I used to hold onto hope for each update but now that the physical wounds have healed and the threat of infection is gone, the updates are nothing more than a recitation of fluctuating brain activity and stable vitals.

I nod along, glassy-eyed as Dr. Hastings goes over the usual.

“I’m sorry, Riley. I know you’re hoping for big changes and progress,” he says, registering my disappointment. “But I continue to be encouraged by Drake’s brain activity.  His mind is reacting to stimuli with more frequency.”

“Then why hasn’t he woken up?” I cry.

“I wish I had an answer for that,” he replied sadly.  “All we can do is continue to push his body to respond in the same way his brain does.  We’ve been seeing results.  If you’d like to stay for tomorrow’s tests, you can see for yourself.

“No,” I shake my head, “I…I can’t.”

I used to stay for the tests but it’s terrifying and heartbreaking.  The tests consist of weaning Drake off the ventilator gradually.  His lungs do respond, and he attempts to breath on his own which I know is encouraging, but every so often he makes sounds like he’s choking or struggling, and I can’t handle it.

“I understand,” Dr. Hastings nods. “I hope you get some rest; I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Just as he turns to go, we are both surprised to see Liam entering my room.

“Riley, Dr. Hastings…good evening,” the king says. “Did I miss today’s update?”

Dr. Hastings bows.  Though he finally uses my first name, he refuses to break protocol when it comes to royalty.  “I’d be happy to go over it again, Your Majesty.”

“That won’t be necessary,” Liam replies.  “I’m sure Riley can give me a run down.”

I nod, knowing that Liam can already tell by looking at me that nothing’s changed.  With a final bow, Dr. Hastings departs and Liam takes a seat beside me on the bed.

“Rough day?”

“You have no idea,” I sigh.

“Why don’t you fill me in?”

“Well…for starters, I lost my job…”

“Oh, Riley…I’m so sorry.”

I shake my head.  “Don’t be…I knew it was coming eventually.  I’m surprised they worked with me this long.  But, without an income, I’m going to have to put my condo on the market.”

“No, don’t do that. I can assist you in holding onto it.”

“I can’t take money from you Liam…”

“You wouldn’t be.  Rashad is quite busy with Sloane Enterprises these days.  I could use another contract attorney on my legal team to pick up the overflow work.”

“Liam…I’d be happy to help but I’m still selling the condo.  There’s no reason to keep it and I can’t keep asking my dad to make the drive to Tampa to check on things for me.  For now…my home is wherever Drake is,” I say, feeling the crushing weight of sadness again.

“I got the sense that Dr. Hastings didn’t have good news.”

I shrug.  “It was the same as any other day, no better, no worse.

“This is to be expected when dealing with traumatic brain injury.”

“All the imaging shows his brain is healing,” I protest.

“Yes,” Liam nods, “which is all the more reason to be hopeful. You know how extensive his injuries were. I truly believe this coma is his body’s way of taking all the time it needs to heal. He’s been beating the odds since you got here.”

Logically, I know Liam is right.  Drake’s body went through hell and on the night I arrived seven months ago, they didn’t expect him to make it beyond another twenty-four hours.  The first time I walked into that room, Liam had to keep me on my feet; I could barely tell it was Drake in the bed.

On our flight from Philly to Cordonia, Liam had tried to tell me what to expect but it was a difficult conversation to get through and quite honestly nothing could have prepared me.  I was shocked to learn that Drake had joined the guard.  Liam had tried to convince him to finish his veterinary degree and refused to appointment him to the guard, but Drake didn’t want an appointment handed to him anyway.  He earned his way in by joining the military; after two years of exemplary service, he earned the Cordonia Medal of Honor and his commanding officer recommended him for the guard.  Drake was immediately assigned to head of Olivia’s detail.  In true Olivia fashion, she had scared off all her previous guards and they hoped Drake could put up with her.  I still can’t believe that those two managed to coexist as long as they did but Liam assures me they had become quite close.

I learned all about the Sons of the Earth and their leader, my former press secretary, Justin, AKA Anton Severus…his secret marriage to Olivia, his plots to kill Liam and take the throne, his death, and the rebel factions that carried on his evil legacy.  Olivia had been relatively safe when he was alive because he needed her for his plan, but once he was gone and she was married to Liam, she became a target of the rebels.

Two days before Liam came to Hill Heights, a rebel uprising attacked Olivia’s motorcade on their way out of Lythikos and isolated the lead SUV.  On a hunch, Drake had anticipated a possible attack and ordered Liv into one of the secondary vehicles with a whole team of guards while he rode lead with a decoy.  A rendezvous point had been established as a contingency if the motorcade got separated.  Off their plotted course, the lead car encountered a roadside bomb which flipped the car and sent it up in flames and the rebels riddled it with bullets before taking off.  By all rights, no one should have survived but the driver managed to free himself and pull Drake out just before the car fully exploded and succumbing to his own injuries.

When they failed to arrive at the rendezvous point, Liv ordered all but the six men guarding her back to look for them. That’s when they found Drake and the driver on the side of the road, unconscious with life-threatening injuries, and the other two guards in the car, dead.  Both men were airlifted to the Capitol where the race to save their life began.  Drake had suffered a head injury from the blast and multiple gunshot wounds from the rebels’ indiscriminate firing spree.  Two bullets struck major organs.  Hours of surgery were required, and it was touch and go.

I can’t try to explain the extent of the injuries or even all that went into attempting to save him, but I do know he looked like he’d been to a war zone when I saw him.  His skull was open to relieve the pressure on his brain, vacuum drains were attached to multiple wounds where they had opened him up to repair internal damage and remove bullet fragments, and his left leg was in a cast, suspended by a sling above the bed.  Looking at him now, you’d never know any of that.  There is a thin scar on his head where hair still won’t grow but it’s hidden by his full head of hair around it, and he of course has scars from the bullet wounds, but they are hidden by his clothes.  Just looking into his room, aside from the ventilator, you might think he’s just asleep, but…he’s not waking up.

“Are you headed back over to sit with him?” Liam asks, pulling me back to the present.

“In a few minutes,” I sigh. “I came here to have my daily breakdown. Ever since the nurse told me he shows signs of distress when he hears me cry, I try not to do it in front of him.”

Liam takes my hand giving it a reassuring squeeze.  “You must try to focus on the positive, Riley…he hears you.”

“How are you so optimistic after all this time?”

“A well-crafted facade, I assure you. I have breakdowns too, but I try to be strong…for you, for Liv…”

“How is she?” I ask.

“You should ask her yourself, she’s right next door.”

I gasp in surprise.  “She’s here?”  Olivia hasn’t come to the hospital since Emily was born.  Of course, having a baby keeps her busy, but Liam and I know it goes beyond that. Liv feels responsible for what happened and the guilt that she carries makes seeing Drake difficult for her.

“Yes, she asked to come.  I decided to give her some time with him by coming in to check on you.  Fabian and Emily are across the hall in the family suite with the nanny if you wish to pop in to see them.  I’m going to go sit with Olivia, join us whenever you are ready.”

Visits with Fabian and Emily always bring a smile to my face, even on hard days…especially on hard days. I pop in for hugs and snuggles before joining Liam and Olivia.

“Riley,” Olivia exclaims.  Rising from her seat she pulls me into a hug.  I’m still trying to get used to an Olivia who hugs.

“Hi Liv, it’s good to see you.”

“Of course it is,” she quips.  Motherhood has softened her, but she hasn’t lost her wit.  “So, tell me…what updates did this inept medical staff have to share today?” she asks.

“Not much,” I sigh, “small progress like every other day.”

“What more can we do?” she says, turning to Liam. “We need to bring in a new medical team, the best of the best.”

“My Queen, I assure you, Drake’s team is the best Cordonia has to offer.”

“Then look outside Cordonia,” she snaps.

I can hear the anxiety in her voice.  She’s here but she’s still struggling and taking charge is her coping mechanism.

“Liv, I am more than willing to bring in more doctors, I’d scour the globe for the best but…his care is not up to me.  Any decision to change doctors has to come from Savannah or Bianca.”

“They’re both twits,” Olivia retorts.  “Bianca can’t even be bothered to come here.”

“After what happened to Jackson, can you blame her?”

“You’re damn right I can! That’s no excuse not to be at your son’s side…your child! But what would she know about that…she abandoned them.”

Drake’s monitor starts to beep, and my eyes jump to the screen.  I know what to look for and his elevated blood pressure is a sure sign that our conversation is affecting him.  “Liv…we should take this somewhere else.”

Olivia frowns and I see the tears welling in her eyes.  “I’m sorry…I’m…”  Going to Drake’s side, she takes his hand and leans down to his ear.  “I’m sorry…I’ll stop.  Please calm down…I just want you to get better.”

I’ve never heard her speak in such a calming tone and to my surprise, Drake’s vitals slowly return to normal levels.

Liam looks at me with hopeful eyes. “That’s a direct response to stimuli if I ever saw one!”

I nod, unable to speak as I fight back tears. Liam comes to my side and pulls me into an embrace. “I’ll speak to Savannah but in the meantime, we will leave you two in peace.”

Olivia gives me another hug before they leave the room hand in hand.

Taking the seat beside Drake, I wrap my hand around his, rest my head on his shoulder, and settle in for our nightly talk.  Having a one-sided conversation felt awkward at first.  In the early days I did little more than tell him I love him and beg him to hold on.  I’ve gotten used to it now and talk as much as I can, hoping my voice will pull him from whatever darkness he’s trapped in.

“Everyone wants you to get better, but no one more than me.  I’m trying to be patient but it’s so hard, baby,” I cry.  “Every minute of those four years without you, I felt like I wasn’t really living…I built a life and moved forward but something was always missing…you.  And now I’ve been by your side for seven months, which is where I belong but…I still feel that void because you won’t wake up.  We’ve lost so much time already…I’m…I’m so sorry I left.  Even when you said you couldn’t be with me, I should have stayed…I should have fought for us.  Going our separate ways was never the answer, Drake.  We held onto the guilt we felt over falling in love, we held onto the pain we had cause Liam, we held onto all our own insecurities, and we let it drive us apart.  By holding onto the bad, we missed the bigger picture, we failed to see that the best thing to hold onto in life is each other.  I’m holding on now, Drake…I’m here and I am in this for good.  I love you with every fiber of my being and I can’t…I won’t…live a life without you in it.  I need you to come back to me baby.”  As my tears fall against the soft fabric of his hospital gown, I hear that beep and feel a mild sense of peace as I doze off at his side.

I wake in the morning to the blazing sun shining on my face and the sound of voices carrying into the room from the hall.  In a normal hospital, it wouldn’t be unusual, but in the private royal wing where Drake is the only patient, it’s not something I’m used to hearing.  Rising from my chair, I decide to go investigate, surprised to see Liam and Savannah having a passionate conversation as Dr. Hastings and the head nurse, Holly, look on.

“Savannah, you must see reason…I have complete faith in Dr. Hastings, but a second opinion could make all the difference.  I have a world-renowned neurological team on standby, ready to come to Cordonia.  You haven’t been here, you haven’t seen his progress.”

“Liam, you have to understand how hard it is for me to see my brother like that!  Being here everyday would be torture; I don’t know how you and Riley do it.  But I have been in constant contact with Dr. Hastings and I get the same updates you do. I understand the small progress gives you hope but that’s all it is…small progress.  I can’t just go on blind faith, Liam, I have to do what’s best for my brother…for all of us, and allowing him to hang in a medical limbo is not a life.”

I see the tears falling from Liam’s eyes, he makes no effort to hide them.  “What are you saying, Savannah?”

“I’m saying…I’m saying I think it’s time we let him go,” Savannah replies, breaking down in sobs.

“NO,” I scream, charging toward her filled with anguish and rage.  Liam wraps me in his arms to keep me from reaching her.  “You can’t do that!  I won’t let you do that.”

“It’s not your decision to make, Riley.  I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry?  That’s all you can say?” I yell, giving into my rage. Savannah looks terrified of me, and she should be.  I sob, struggling against Liam’s hold on me, barely registering the sound of machines over my own yelling.  “You ran away and left him to worry about you for over a year, but he never stopped looking for you.  He never gave up!  How the hell can you justify giving up on him now?”

“It’s not giving up, it’s mercy,” she cries.

“No, please, no Savannah, don’t do this…don’t do this, please,” I wail as my knees give out.

“Look what this is doing to her…to me…” Liam cries as he struggles to hold me up.  “Look what it will do to everyone that loves him…Savannah, please…”

“Do you think this is easy for me?” she cries.  “I love him too.”

“Then give him more time, that’s all I ask.  Let me bring in another medical team. Don’t do this…”

 “Liam, I have t…”

“LET ME GO, I HAVE SOMEWHERE TO BE!”

My heart feels like it is going to beat out of my chest the moment the shouted words echo through the corridor, drowning out our own voices and cries.  I know that voice, I’d know it anywhere.  Looking around I finally see Dr. Hastings and Holly are gone.  Ripping at Liam’s hands, I free myself from his hold and race back to Drake’s room.

“I have somewhere to be, you have to let me go…I have somewhere to be!”

“Drake?” I gasp, paralyzed and frozen in place from shock.  I watch as Dr. Hastings, Holly, and two other nurses struggle to restrain Drake and I can’t tell if it’s real or just my mind’s trauma response to my fight with Savannah.

“He was awake when we responded to the alarms,” Dr. Hastings explains.  “We managed to get him extubated, but he’s agitated and disoriented.”

I try to make sense of what I’m hearing but I feel like I am in a daze.  “Drake?” I cry again.

“Nevin?  Nevin!” Drake shouts, ripping at his IV’s and fighting against the doctors’ hold.

The sound of my name from his lips breaks me from my trance.  “No, no, no,” I rush forward, full of longing to touch him and convince myself this is real.

“If he can’t calm down, we’ll need to sedate him,” Dr. Hastings says.

“No, No,” I shake my head, sitting down on Drake’s bed.  Clutching his hands in one of mine, I bring my other hand to his cheek.  “Calm down…you have to calm down.”

Drake shakes his head, disoriented and trying to talk between coughing fits.  “I needed to get to you…to the cemetery…I needed…”

I wrap my arms around him, and I feel the tension roll off his body as he relaxes into me.  “I’m here, I’m here…” I soothe, running my fingers through his hair.

“How?  When?” he asks as his body starts to shake with sobs.  “What happened?”

I pull back and cup his cheeks.  “Don’t worry about that right now,” I whisper, placing a gentle kiss on his lips. “I’m here, and I love you, and right now, you just need to stay calm and let the doctors check you out.”

Drake returns my kiss fervently before feathering kisses all over my face and pulling me desperately into his arms.  “Hold on to me…hold on to me…” he mutters as he cries.

“I will, Drake…I will…and I promise, I’m never letting go.”

[the-lincyclopedia]

I’ve gotten quite a few fic comments in the past two days, and I had the thought, I am so lucky. And that’s true. I am, in a lot of ways, including in fandom friendships. I have a lot of good friends in fandom, and I know that’s not something that can be earned or that should be taken for granted.

But it’s not all luck. I also have some skills around developing fandom friendships, and since we’re largely a bunch of neurodivergent folks over here in fandom, I thought it might be worth spelling some things out in case other people are wondering how to make more fandom friends, since direct instructions can be helpful.

Right off the bat, obviously, don’t be an asshole. Tell people nice things about their fics, and don’t tell them mean things about their fics (or mean things in general). If you eventually get to the point where someone has asked you to be their beta, you can give constructive criticism at that point, though it’s still important to be kind. It goes against fandom norms to give criticism, even criticism meant constructively, outside of beta relationships. If you didn’t know that before, well, now you do.

But beyond not being an asshole, here’s what I typically do: I comment a lot on other people’s fic. I probably comment on over 75% of the fics I read. Commenting is my default reader state, and I only don’t comment if I truly can’t think of anything nice to say (either because I didn’t like the fic or because I’m having trouble phrasing the thing I liked in a way that sounds good). Whenever possible, I quote-comment, meaning I use the lines I liked from the fic in the comment and basically live-react at the writer through my reading process. I try to comment on every chapter of multi-chapter fics I read.

After I’ve commented on multiple of someone’s fics, if I’m really enjoying myself, I might try to find the writer on Tumblr. I don’t mean trying to stalk them and find a non-fandom blog, obviously; I just mean looking up their AO3 username on Tumblr and seeing if they pop up. If they do, I might DM them and say how much I’ve been enjoying their fics, or how much I appreciate their characterization of a certain character, or make a fandom-related reference.

From there, sometimes people respond. Sometimes they don’t. Sometimes we don’t seem to have much to talk about. But sometimes we hit it off. If it doesn’t seem to be going anywhere, I don’t push it, but if the other person also seems to be having a good time and is responding enthusiastically and/or initiating some of the time, I keep talking to them.

Note: I am less likely to try to talk to people who are clearly Big Name Fans, whatever that means in a certain fandom. I don’t show up and immediately try to catch the attention of people who surely have tons of people vying for their attention. And people who get less engagement are more likely to really appreciate having one new really enthusiastic supporter, anyway.

There comes a point in some online friendships where it’s okay to ask to exchange numbers/talk on the phone/Skype/etc. That point comes at different times in different friendships, and it may never come at all in plenty of them, and that’s all right. It’s nice to offer your information rather than asking for someone else’s (a tip I picked up in autism support groups), and you should definitely make sure the other person feels like they can say no, they’d rather not give you their number, or whatever.

It’s important to know going into this that sometimes fandom admiration isn’t mutual. Some people whose work you enjoy may not enjoy your work, and you need to be okay with that. Some people also won’t want to be your friend, and you need to be okay with that, too. This isn’t a manual on how to make everyone like you. But I do think that this way of interacting in fandom has helped me make a higher-than-average number of fandom friends.

This is not to say you have to follow all this advice or that there is One Right Way to engage in fandom. You’re not obligated to comment on anything or DM anyone, and I can’t guarantee any results even if you do. But if you’re wondering how to make more friends in fandom, being enthusiastic and complimentary (when you can do so genuinely) is a decent thing to try.

[kurtanaroyalty]

Hi<3 I wanted to ask you if new directions were on tumblr, how do you think you would interact with them? And what do you think their blogs would be about?

Oooh I love this question!! Tysm for the ask🥰💗

Santana: Mutuals. It was basically confirmed in canon that this girl had a tumblr with her comment about her having a favorite ‘Rizzoli & Isles’ blog.. if that doesn’t scream a tumblr lesbian idk what does lol!! Her entire blog would mainly be devoted to sapphic ships that she would sob about in the tags (think overuse of emojis and keyboard smashes)! She would have a pretty decent following and get quite a few asks where she would give headcanons and meta on her favorite ships. She also wouldn’t tell a soul that she’s on there but Brittany would find out and lovingly tease her about it.

Tina: I follow her but she doesn’t follow me. She would be on tumblr constantly! She would have one of those super popular multifandom blogs that makes the most crisp gifs and has hundreds of requests waiting in her inbox. At first you’d be a bit intimidated by her until you realize she is the sweetest and is always super nice about giving tips and resources for gif making!

Sam: I don’t follow him but he follows me. His tumblr would consist of almost 100% memes with no organization/tagging system. Instead of tags, he would leave comments under posts like “woah this is sick dude 🤩” or “nice!!! 👍” which would in turn make a good amount of people block him because they would think he’s some bot or sarcastic troll when in reality they are always genuine comments. He would be the king of spam reblogging to the point that if you did follow him he would overwhelm your dash. Though, every once and awhile there would be a very detailed & coherent post by him about ‘True Jackson, VP’ with links to a petition to get it renewed/rebooted.

Blaine: Mutuals. You just know he would make the best tumblr mutual! He would definitely be that one mutual that you can always count on to like and reblog your content and he would leave the most thoughtful tags. His blog would be a variety of all his interests (he originally tried to have separate side blogs but it was too much for him to keep up with!) but it’s extremely well organized and mainly runs on a queue.

Kurt: I follow him but he doesn’t follow me. His tumblr would be very curated and definitely fit a certain aesthetic. I picture it mostly consisting of reblogs of fashion, films, art, food, etc. But multiple times a week he would post blank text posts with super long rants in the tags with a lot of cussing and the last tag would be #delete later.

Brittany: Mutuals. Everything she posts would be super cheerful & colorful (envision loads of rainbows & cats). She is known for sending asks since she absolutely loves sending her mutuals the most offbeat questions. You can also always rely on her if you’re having a bad day to send you a random quote or fact that will make you smile.

Mike: Mutuals. He would truly have the most chill blog and reblog anything that catches his eye but not in a way where it overloads your dash. He also is someone who follows back almost everyone who follows him and sends a lot of kind asks & leaves nice tags on your original content. He would never get involved in any fandom drama and would only have one filtered tag which is ‘Channing Tatum’.

Puck: Mutuals (mostly for entertainment purposes on my end). He’d be the one to act like he’s never even heard of tumblr but secretly runs his own fic blog mainly for the soap opera he compulsively watches with his mom & sister. He also occasionally enjoys posting snippets of the various screenplays he’s working on. He prides himself on staying anonymous so he uses a pen name and changes the names of everyone he writes about but does an awful job at picking out new names (changes Puck to Huck, Finn to Binn, etc)!

Finn: Neither one of us follows one another. Actually didn’t know what tumblr was until he saw the app on Puck’s phone and noticed him spending a lot of time on it so he got curious. Months later he still has no clue on what the point of tumblr is and has pretty much given up on trying to properly use it. He has a few text posts screaming into the void but they have no engagement. Though he did somehow link his instagram so that still updates.

Mercedes: Mutuals. Her tumblr consists mainly of reblogs for her favorite celebrities, tv shows, & movies. She also has gotten into the habit of live blogging for a few of her top shows and her commentary is so good that you wouldn’t dare to unfollow her or filter her tags for it, even for the shows you didn’t have any interest in previously. She’s the mutual that has such great taste that you find her continuing to influence what media you want to consume next!

Quinn: Mutuals. Her blog is a mix of literature, art, philosophy etc which does make it have an overall pretty “classy” feel but the vast majority of it is also just very, very, very, gay.. to the point where half of what she reblogs is of women kissing/being affectionate with one another. She also eventually dabbles in writing some femslash & it’s very good stuff…

Artie: Neither one of us follows one another. Has a decent following due to his film reviews (he also blocks anyone who disagrees with any of his opinions). He’s also heavily involved in various popular fandoms like Star Wars and Marvel which leads to him getting into some very intense discourse which results in more blocking.

Rachel: Mutuals (on thin ice). Posts super nice aesthetics & moodboards. Though unfortunately, she would be that tumblr mutual who gets into heated debates with anons constantly and is such an easy target because she can’t recognize when people are trolling her so she takes the bait every time. But, fairly often it does get to the point where she actually ends up exhausting the anons with her long written responses.

[marvelslut16]

Trust me for once

Prompt number: 26 “How about you trust me for once?”

Fandom: Marvel

Paring: Bucky Barnes x reader

Rating: T

Word count: 1.3k

Warnings: Swearing. Bitchy/moody Bucky. Angsty. Mentions kidnapping/self-sacrificing 

A/N: I’m thinking of doing a second part to this, thoughts?

It’s been half a year since James Buchanan Barnes officially joined the Avengers, and in those six months he’s befriended everyone on the team. Everyone but you, him and Tony even got over their issues, but the winter soldier can barely get through a simple conversation with you. If he happens to walk into a room where only you are, he’ll immediately turn around and walk out. Bucky’s apparent hatred for you makes it extra awkward being Steve’s other best friend and all. America’s golden boy forces you and Bucky to spend time together because he wants his best friends to be friends. 

You’re leaning into Sam’s side on the couch you two are sharing, it’s movie night at the Avengers compound. You’re quoting the words to Clueless quietly into Sam’s pecs, you got to pick the movie this week. Sam lets out a chuckle as you murmur, “you’re a virgin who can’t drive.”

“That Josh guy looks like Scott,” he whispers to you. 

“Oh my God, he totally does!” you let out a loud laugh. Everyone’s eyes turn to you and Sam’s laughing forms. You chance a glance at Bucky and find his piercing blue eyes glaring at you. You let out a little sigh of disappointment before turning to Scott, “Scott, did you have an acting career back in the day?” 

Tony laughs the loudest, having just been bugging Pepper over the resemblance of the two, which she hadn’t seen. Scott becomes flustered as he denies that Josh looks anything like him, but that only causes you and Sam to start laughing louder. The sound of boots clomping out of the room pulls you from the groups teasing of Scott, only to find Bucky walking out of the theater. 

You unwrap yourself from Sam’s arms and follow Bucky out, Sam and Steve giving your back knowing looks. You find Bucky in the kitchen grabbing a plum with his metal hand, and you have to wonder for nearly the hundredth time if he has feeling in the hand since he never crushes anything with it. 

“You okay?” you grab a glass and fill it with water, trying to give off the impression that you weren’t just following him.

“I’m fine,” he brushes past you heading to his room, and your heart breaks a little that he still won’t try with you. That he still wants nothing to do with you, even though everything he does grabs your attention and pulls you in. What did you do to make him hate you so much? 

Just over a week after the kitchen incident, you not even attempting to speak to him during this time, you see him again in a briefing for your next mission. You’re leaning your head on Steve’s shoulder as you two wait for everyone else to file in, your eyes are starting to droop and cause you to slip back into sleep. You had been out drinking with Steve and Sam the night before, Bucky had opted out, not coming home until close to three in the morning, and being called into the emergency meeting at seven. 

When everyone finally files in, Steve gets up to give the briefing causing you to lean to your right and lean onto Sam. He hands you a hot cup of coffee to match his own, neither of you awake enough for this right now. Steve starts to explain that a new Hydra base has been found and the messages we’ve intercepted seem to lead everyone to believe that they’re looking for a new Winter Soldier. You chance a quick glance at Bucky, seeing his jaw tick in frustration, but his eyes hold a tiredness that doesn’t come from lack of sleep. 

“Okay, so we’re going to go in, in pairs,” Steve starts to give orders. “Sam will be with me, (Y/N) you’ll be with Bucky,” you stop listening after this, sharing a look with Sam. 

Once the meeting ends and people start to file out, you linger hoping to catch a moment with Steve before you have to suit up. “No, I won’t switch anyone around,” Steve doesn’t even look up, already knowing you’re there and what you want. 

“But Steve, it’s dangerous!” you whine. “I don’t want to die because he doesn’t give two shits about me and won’t have my six.”

“Bucky’s not like that,” Steve deadpans, looking up from the file in front of him to meet your eye. 

“I know,” you throw your hands up in frustration. “But we’ve never even done training missions together and you’re throwing us into the deep end here.”

“He won’t let anything happen to you,” a small smirk forming on his face. “And I know you won’t let them anywhere near him.” 

Once in your gear you plop next to Bucky on the quinjet, hoping to at least talk strategy on the flight. “So what's the plan for when we get there?” you skip right to the point, since he clearly hates making small talk with you. He ignores you, instead focusing on sharpening one of his many knives he has on him at all times. You scoff before heading off to Sam, but not before you admire how good Bucky looks with his hair pulled back and clad in his tactical gear, “whatever.”

--

In the base Bucky takes the lead, making sure you stay behind him in case Hydra agents are waiting behind one of the corners. You two reach what seems to be a warehouse holding storage crates full of weapons and new Hydra tech. As you and Bucky peer into a box container that has some weird looking gun, you hear six sets of footsteps and multiple voices speaking in Russian. 

Bucky pulls you behind a tall crate, he’s facing you as you two crouch down and out of view. The footsteps enter the warehouse, voices growing closer and closer to your hiding spot. Too close for either of you to call for backup, you reach a hand up and cover your mouth so you don’t breathe too loud. 

The voices stop a few feet away from you, but the voices continue to talk. They know you’re there, there’s no way they don’t. You and Bucky are just sitting ducks. Fear washes over Bucky’s face for a split second and you know what you have to do. You need to protect him from these people at all costs, even if it means you get hurt. 

“Bucky, we’ve got to run,” you whisper to him, leaning closer so you don’t have to be as loud. 

“They’ll catch us,” his breath tickles your face as he speaks. 

“I know you hate me, but how about you trust me for once?” the look in your eyes begging him to agree. “I’ll cause a distraction with their tech, just run and don’t look back. I’ll be right behind you.”

“Fine, but I don’t like it-”

“You don’t have to like it so long as it gets you out of here safely,” he gives a small nod.

You crawl across the ground, up a few feet to the crate that held the guns from earlier. You take in a shaky deep breath, pasting a fake reassuring smile on your face, before turning and giving Bucky a quick thumbs up. There’s no going back now. 

“Hey dumbasses, over here!” you hop up, grabbing one of the weird looking guns and aiming it at the men. 

Within seconds the men are surrounding you and screaming in Russian. You raise your arms up in surrender, looking through your peripheral to make sure Bucky made it out of the warehouse safely. The last thing you see before you’re being pinned to the ground is Bucky’s fine ass running out the door, rounding a corner and running out of sight. A single tear slips down your face at the uncertainty of your future, and for the fact you never worked things out with Bucky. But he’s safe, and that’s all that matters.

Part two: I trust you

Permeant tags: @crimson-knuckled-queen @rexorangecouny @mrs-malfoy-always

[lucemferto]

WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT PH1LZA (or Why Philza is a Victim of Narrative Circumstance)

Heyo! Per request I am posting the script to my video of the same name here on tumblr. I must warn you that just reading the script will probably not give you the full experience, so I would encourage you to watch the video (linked above).

There might also still be a lot of grammatical errors in the text, because I don’t proofread.

Intro

LAST TIME ON LUCEM FERTO

Okay, so! I don’t want this to turn into a reaction channel OR a Dream SMP channel for that matter! [echo]

Well, I lied.

[Intro to “Luc is pretentious about the funny blockmen. Episode 2”]

I swear, I’m working on other stuff. It’s just that my dumb lizard brain has only capacity for one interest at a time!

So, something you might not know about me, is that I am on tumblr – who am I kidding, most of you will know me from tumblr. Before starting this whole YouTube thing, I thought that website died years ago – but as per usual reality proves me wrong. I’m also on Twitter and Reddit, but I get the most engagement on tumblr – by far! – and I need those sweet, sweet numbers for the serotonin!

Anyways, one of my favourite past-times on tumblr is to razz Philza Hardcore Minecraft – that’s his full name – for being a frankly awful father [clicking away] – wait, wait, no! Philza fans, this isn’t a hit piece on him, I promise! Please come back!

This is video is meant to be a companion piece to my previous video about Technoblade and the Doomsday event – you can tell by the shared nomenclature – so you should probably watch that one before you proceed. Unless you don’t want to, which is also perfectly understandable.

DISCLAIMER: This video is mostly about the character Philza plays on the Dream SMP. Whenever I talk about the content creator Philza, I will say so properly. Also, Spoiler Warning for Dream SMP Season 2.

… What is that? You’re wondering what the Dream SMP is? Well, if you had just watched the other video like I told you to do, you would know, because I explained it pretty well there. But in case you don’t know, here’s the cliff notes.

Dream SMP is the hottest New Media Series on Twitch right now! It has it all: gaslighting, child soldiers, Machiavellian political intrigue, Hamilton roleplay, desecration of the dead, shounen protagonists, SO! MUCH! AMNESIA! Filicide, furries, a red egg that’s definitely homophobic and teenagers inventing nuclear warfare. And it’s all done in Minecraft – yes, the funny block game where the only way to emote is to crouch.

And you say the perfect brief doesn’t exist!

Now, you might be wondering, why do I want to talk about this? Well, it’s because Content Creator Philza is one of least controversial internet personalities that I can think of. That man exudes pure comfort. So, it’s just very, very amusing to me that his character became one of the most controversial figures on the SMP, only outshone by Tommy and Technoblade.

And it’s not just amusing, it’s also extremely interesting! I want to dig deep to uncover and discuss the dynamics behind why that is. How did it come to this point? How did a man who appears genuinely so pleasant create a character that inspires so much discourse!

Now, if you watched that Technoblade video – like I told you to twice now! – you might know, that I am the resident character analyses hater of fandom! And that impression is false and slanderous! Don’t tell other people that I hate character analyses! I love them!

It’s just that, in the Dream SMP in particular, there is an abundance of character analyses! Every streamer has at least two very good essays written about them, exploring every possible angle to view their characters and backgrounds and everything. All I’m saying is: I don’t have anything to add on that front.

So, instead I want to pursue a different approach – something, that I feel is a bit underrepresented in the fandom! And I’m not just talking narrative analysis – that’s right, this episode we’re going even more pretentious! – I’m talking Transtextual Analysis!

Now, what is Transtextuality? Well, unfortunately it has very little to do with actual Trans people – #transrights, just in case that wasn’t obvious – but instead describes a mode of analysis with which to put – to quote French literary theorist Gérard Genette – “the text in a relationship, whether obvious or concealed, with other texts”.

Basically, you know how the L’Manburg War of Independence heavily quotes and borrows from the hit musical Hamilton? That’s transtextuality! A lot of the analyses surrounding how Tommy mirrors the Greek hero Theseus, who was invoked by Technoblade multiple times in the series, are already doing transtextual analysis! So, it’s really not something that’s new to the Dream SMP fandom.

But how does this apply to Philza and how he is looked at and judged by his parental skills? Well, there are multiple forms of transtextuality, two of which we will discuss today.

But before we continue, I gotta do that annoying YouTuber thing. I know these videos don’t look like much, but I spend a really long time making them. I work fulltime and I try my best to keep up, but sometimes I can’t. So please, like, subscribe, comment to give me some algorithm juice – I really need it – and most importantly share it! Share it with your friends, share it with your family – I’m sure Grandma is very interested in what I have to say about Philza Minecraft.

And I’m trying to be better! If I sound at all different for this video, it’s because I finally bought a new pop filter, so I can hit my plosives without it sounding like there’s a thunderstorm in my room. I hope it makes a difference; it was a very cheap pop filter, so maybe it doesn’t. Maybe it sounds worse – that would be bad!

What was I talking about? Oh yeah, CHILD NEGLEGT!

 Intertextuality: Why is Dadza?

You know what’s really interesting about the Dream SMP – aside from, you know, most things about it? Very few of the characters have concrete, fleshed-out backstories – and that’s pretty weird! In no other medium or genre could you get away with something like that – at least for long-form storytelling!

So, how does Dream SMP get away with this? Well, it’s because every character on the Dream SMP is basically a self-insert – and I don’t mean that in the “This character is based on me”-kinda way, but in the “This character, for all intents and purposes, is me!”-way. This, like many things that are fascinating about the Dream SMP, is owed to the fact that this series didn’t start off as a continuous drama – it started off as a Let’s Play.

And while we can talk about how someone’s on-camera/on-mic persona is in some ways a character, it’s still miles off of being an actual, fully-realized, separate character in a storyline.

This is where Intertextuality comes in.

Intertextuality is a subset of Transtextuality. It describes how the hypertext, which is the text, you’re currently engaged with, uses another text, the hypotext, to supplement itself. The interconnection the hypertext establishes with the hypotext, through stuff like allusion for example, uh-hum [Hamilton], can colour how an audience interprets the hypertext. Basically, Hamilton and Theseus are the hypotexts; the Dream SMP is the hypertext.

So, what does this have to do with backstory? Simple: The backstories of the characters in the Dream SMP consist basically of nothing but intertextual references. Through intertextuality their content effectively substitutes their character’s backstory.

You can see it everywhere. Wilbur’s and Schlatt’s relationship and rivalry is hugely enriched, if you are aware of their shared history like SMPLive, for example – I think anyway. I haven’t watched SMPLive, because … there’s only so many hours in the day and I cannot keep up with the Dream SMP and catch up on SMPLive and live a healthy life – which I already don’t do, so…

BadBoyHalo’s and Skeppy’s relationship, which has become the crux of the Crimson-Storyline of Seasons 2 and 3, is hugely supplemented if you know that they’re also very close as streamers and in real life.

Another great example of intertextuality is basically Technoblade’s entire deal. If you just look at him completely within the text of the Dream SMP and try to transplant his entrance to any other medium: It would be extremely weird! Like, he’s just this guy that comes in in the middle of a very climatic arc, no build-up, no explanation what his deal is, and he’s treated like he has always been there. In any other medium that just wouldn’t work – at least not without a flashback or some sort of exposition!

But because of stuff like Minecraft Mondays, the Potato Wars, his Duel against Dream and SMPEarth, we understand that he is a Big Deal!

Anyways, to bring all of this back to Philza Minecraft: What kind of hypotext informs how the audience sees his character? Well, this is where I will have to talk about SBI.

SBI is an acronym that stand for State Bank of India, the 43rd largest bank in the world and…

It also stands for Sleepy Bois Incorporated. Sleepy Bois Incorporated is a loose assembly of content creators, consisting of Philza, Wilbur Soot, TommyInnit and Technoblade. It is most well-known for its very endearing family dynamic – a dynamic that is frequently acknowledged and played up by the creators involved. Tommy is the youngest brother, Wilbur and Techno are the two older brothers and Philza is of course the dad. And when I say, it’s played up, I really mean it! Wilbur seems to be especially enamoured with the idea and leaves no opportunity untaken to bring it up – which we will come back to.

And I’m not saying that they’re faking this and this is somehow an act. While I know none of these people personally, it appears to me, that this is genuinely how they interact – if a little exaggerated for the streaming experience. Even when they’re not consciously playing into the family dynamic, their interactions still very much lend themselves to that interpretation by the viewers.

Philza especially just radiates Dad-Friend energy – so much so that it has become a huge part of his brand identity – yay, I can bring that back (check out my Christmas video if you want to hear me ramble about that). The nickname Dadza stuck even before SBI was a thing.

So, even if we completely disregard SBI – which we shouldn’t for reasons I’ll get back to – Philza has cultivated an image of strong paternal guidance. He is, in my opinion completely deservedly, regarded very positively. He is highly respected and in turn seen as a voice of reason.

All of this would eventually inform the hypotext of the character Philza within Dream SMP.

 Interlude: Before Dadza & November 16th

Okay, so now we have established that a) Dream SMP heavily hinges on intertextual readings by the audience to supplement character backstory and b) that Philza’s entire deal is that he’s the dad-friend – more specifically that he’s the dad of SBI (not the bank). I think you know where this is going.

So, yeah, ever since it was on the table that Philza could join the Dream SMP, it was immediately assumed that he would take on the paternal guardian role all these traumatized people on that server so desperately needed – and with good reason! Like I said before, the audience at this point was trained to take intertextual interpretations as basically canon or at the very least canon-adjacent.

I want to emphasize that this is most likely not done deliberately. I’m sure content creators Wilbur and Philza didn’t sit there and said: “Yes! We will rely entirely on the audience’s inclination to interpret our characters intertextually to define character Philza!”. Like, obviously that did not happen.

But it’s also important to remember that unlike with traditional media and the fanbases cultivated there, the separation between the Dream SMP and its audience is almost non-existent – and purposely so. The story events are streamed live, Chats are acknowledged in canon and even outside of livestreams creators are extremely involved with the fandom. So, the weight of fan-expectations is equally amplified and will more likely be incorporated into the writing process. Case in point:

[Wilbur “I miss Philza”/Philza about Wilbur]

During Wilbur’s villain arc, even before his official involvement, Philza became a prevalent point of discussion. The hope that he would be the one to snap Wilbur out of his downward spiral was not only wish-fulfilment on behalf of the fans; it also very much played off of the intertextual reading of the SBI-dynamic in relation to the Dream SMP.

Of course, this still doesn’t make Philza and Wilbur canonically blood-related – but it definitely used the “paternal”-dynamic of SBI to build-up tension and drama.

And that ultimately brings us to November 16th. The Grand Finale of Season 1 and Philza’s first canonical appearance on the SMP.

Now, for this I want to pull back from the transtextual analysis and talk about simply narrative analysis: What is Philza’s narrative purpose on November 16th?

Philza serves as the last threshold on Wilbur’s Villain’s Journey – to appropriate Vogler’s version of the monomyth for a minute here – he is what Vogler calls the “Threshold Guardian”. He is the last enemy the Hero faces before completing his quest – in this particular case Wilbur’s quest is to blow up L’Manberg. Multiple people have at this point tried to dissuade him from this course of action: Tommy, Quackity, Niki and others. So how come this Philza moment is not redundant in terms of dynamics compared to these prior scenes?

Well, it’s through our intertextual understanding of Wilbur’s and Phil’s relationship. Because Philza does not just occupy the role of the Threshold Guardian – he is also implicitly the Mentor. Before Phil there was no character in the storyline that held a higher position of moral authority than Wilbur – Dream and Schlatt, while at points more powerful in terms of actual authority, were never positioned by the narrative as Wilbur’s superiors in the same way as Wilbur was to Tommy, Tubbo or even Niki.

Before November 16th all challenges Wilbur faced were from people narratively subordinated to him. But that trend is broken with Phil. That is why he is the Threshold Guardian, why this confrontation is at the climax of Wilbur’s arc. Because Phil is the last thing tethering Wilbur to whatever morality he held before his villain arc; Phil is the last, moral obstacle Wilbur has to discard before gaining his reward.

And, just a quick sidenote, because I’ve seen it around the fandom a bunch: When I’m referring to Wilbur denouncing his morality, I’m using that in terms of narrative analysis. I’m mentioning it, because Wilbur’s character can very easily be read as mentally ill or neurodivergent and some people have – rightly! – pointed out that the excessive vilifying when talking about his character is … problematic, to say the least.

So, I just want to make clear, this isn’t a character analysis, I’m being purposely broad when talking about Wilbur and Phil.

In the end, Wilbur takes that final step and gets his “reward”: As his final request his mentor takes his life and vanquishes the evil – the dragon of Wilbur’s story slays the dragon of L’Manburg. It’s very Shakespearean in its tragedy – but beyond the larger theatrics it’s not really used to further characterize Phil – at least in the context of Season 1. There’s not a lot of focus on his characters internal conflict during November 16th.

Phil, like Techno, is very utilitarian in how content creator Wilbur writes him: He serves as a moment of hype; an obstacle Wilbur has to face; a participant in the tragic climax of Wilbur’s character and ultimately takes on his implicit and expected role of mentor and guiding figure to the rest of L’Manburg.

I think not a lot of people talk about how Philza does not join Technoblade during November 16th. He takes the side of L’Manburg – he fights against the withers and he joins Tommy, Tubbo and the others at the L’Mantree, thus framing him as loyal to the L’Manburg administration – even though Season 2 would make his loyalty to Techno central to his character. But more on that later.

What’s also important about November 16th is that this is the day when the general intertextual interpretation became canonized text.

[You’re my son!]

Wilbur is made Phil’s canonical, biological son. The intertextual interpretation of SBI as it pertains to these two characters on the SMP was completely reinforced by the narrative. Or to put it in Fandom terms: The headcanon became actual canon. At least when it came to Wilbur … but what about Philza’s “other” children?

Well, that leads to our second form of transtextual analysis:

 Paratextuality: Is Dadza?

These titles are just getting better and better.

The Paratext is defined as all those things in a published work that accompany the text. It comes in two forms: One of them is the Peritext, which are non-diegetic elements directly surrounding the text – like chapter titles, author’s notes, and stuff like that. Translated to the medium of the Dream SMP, it would be stuff like this:

[Examples]

And, trust me, I could make a whole separate video about how people on the SMP use their peritext as a tool for storytelling – I’m looking at you, Ranboo – but that’s not what we will talk about in the context of Dadza.

Instead, we will focus on the second form of Paratext, the Epitext, which consists of all authorial and editorial discussions taking place outside of the text. That’s stuff like interviews, private letters or J. K. Rowling’s Twitter Account – you know, before she decided to become a full-time asshole.

[Wilbur: Transrights]

After Season 1 ended, Wilbur indulged pretty heavily in providing epitext for the Dream SMP, something he had not done prior to November 16th. His paratextual additions ranged from the playful, like assigning DnD alignments to various SMP members, to the extremely impactful, like the whole three lives system!

You probably think, you know where this is going. Wilbur provided some epitext about how Tommy and Techno either are or are not biologically related to him … and I have to be honest I thought that too. But then I began looking into the impenetrable web that is the SBI-canon on the Dream SMP and found this!

[Ghostbur explains family]

So, it wasn’t paratext, it was just straight text. Said in character, in canon, without any implication that we the viewers should question this. The text of the SBI family dynamic was explicitly linked to Dream SMP-exclusive lore, namely Fundy being Wilbur’s and Sally the Salmon’s son. This is as clear as Philza’s anguished declaration on November 16th in establishing the intertext as text. And because Wilbur also had a very heavy hand in the discussion of paratext around that time, it gave his character’s words even more “canonical” weight. Metatextually speaking, this very much read like the author giving exposition through his character – exposition that we should understand as reliable.

And, by the way, before I continue, I need to give a huge, huge shoutout to kateis-cakeis on tumblr, I hope I pronounced that right, who was just so quick in providing me with these crucial clips. Without him I would have looked for days because these people don’t archive their shit! And the Dream SMP Wiki was NO help, by the way! I love what you guys do, but stuff like this belongs in the Trivia section on characters’ pages!

Anyways, basically during the entirety of early Season 2 the SBI family dynamic was basically canon to the SMP. Sometimes it was only alluded implicitly, again letting the intertext fill out the rest.

[Philza clips]

But just as often it was just explicitly talked about – both in the text and in the paratext.

[Fundy clip/Wilbur “Twins” clip/Tommy clip]

So, I know what you’re thinking: “Why is this part called paratext, if the entire family tree is just textual”. Well, that last clip might give you a hint, as to what I will talk about. Notice how Tommy, one of the people most directly impacted by the canonization of SBI lore, is both unaware of and seems generally unenthused about it, to put it nicely? Well, that would soon turn out to be a much bigger deal than anyone could have imagined as he wasn’t the only one.

[Technoblade decanonizes SBI]

Yeah …

This happened on 20th of December. Regular viewers of this channel will remember that I put out a 90-second joke video, where I complain about this very development. And while I was mostly kidding around, the core idea is still true. The paratext provided by Technoblade and established text were in direct contradiction with one another – and that brought a lot of confusion into the fandom. Confusion, that would soon be followed by frustration.

Because Techno only decanonized himself as part of the SBI family dynamic – but what about Tommy and Tubbo, the latter of which was incorporated into the dynamic exclusively within the lore of the Dream SMP. Was this still canon or wasn’t it?

What followed was a muddled mess of contradictions, intertextual implications, text and paratext in conflict with each another. It was for the most part inscrutable to figure out how Tommy and Philza related to one another. I’ll spare you every comment made about this – mostly because I want to spare myself from looking for all of them.

In the end, the current status is that their familial relationship is … unclear. Philza said, again in paratext, that it’s ultimately up to the writers to decide, whether or not Tommy is his son … which, I personally think he and Tommy should be the ones to establish that, but I’ll come back to that later.

But why is all of this important anyway? Why would this ambiguity create such an uproar, such controversy – especially when it comes to Tommy’s character? What makes Tommy’s and Philza’s relationship such a target for discussion in the fandom?

Well … this is where we will have to talk about the storyline of Season 2.

Interlude II: Tommy’s Exile and Dadza in Season 2

Okay, Season 2. This is where the spoilers are, so I will just sneakily drop this again. It took me five seconds to google this gif and I will milk it for every penny it’s worth!

At the beginning of Season 2, Philza’s narrative role has not changed much from where Season 1 ended. He is in L’Manburg dispensing earthly wisdom, being a paternal figure to Fundy, Ghostbur and Tubbo, helping with the nation’s rebuilding efforts; just generally occupying the role of the mentor.

[clips]

And then came … the Exile. The Exile Arc took place between December 3rd and December 15th during Season 2 of the Dream SMP. It revolves around TommyInnit getting exiled from L’Manburg and slowly getting psychologically tortured and broken down by Dream. It’s a really great arc, at least in my opinion, that explores and deepens a lot of Tommy’s character relationships, whether that be Tommy and Dream, Tommy and Tubbo or Tommy and Ranboo. One relationship, however, is noticeably missing.

So, yeah, Philza spends basically the entirety of the exile doing pretty much nothing of consequence. And that’s not a problem specific to him – One big criticism I would levy against the Exile Arc is that a lot of characters are left spinning their wheels. Which is why we get zany stuff like El Rapids, Drywaters, Eret’s Knights of the Roundtable, Boomerville – anyone remember Boomerville, that was a thing for 5 seconds, wasn’t it? – basically a lot of storylines are started and then unceremoniously dropped. Now, I will talk more about this, when I make a video about Season 2 of the Dream SMP … in ten years, look forward to it.

In the case of Philza, this inaction was especially damning, because at this point it was still a considered canon that he was Tommy’s dad. So, the fans were left with a situation, where just a few weeks prior Philza was occupying a paternal role for Fundy and Ghostbur … but now, that his youngest son was in a very concerning predicament – to put it lightly – he was nowhere to be found.

So why is that?

Well, the most obvious answer is that Dream and Tommy didn’t write him into the storyline. We’ve seen that Tommy wasn’t particularly interested in exploring a familial relationship to Philza, at least at the time. And it would just not fit in with what Dream and Tommy tried to do with the Exile Arc: they wanted to tell the story of Tommy being isolated, completely under Dream’s mercy, slowly worn down and manipulated. If Philza had been constant presence for Tommy during that time, it would have definitely shifted the narrative focus. That doesn’t mean that they couldn’t have done that, it’s just a matter of fact that they didn’t.

This also reveals another truth about content creator Philza’s character work, that I think is extremely crucial: He takes what the writers give him. Outside of a few choice moments, he doesn’t seem particularly interested in expanding or even solidifying his character on the SMP.

What I’m saying is that he is very go-with-the-flow: Wilbur wants to enact a Shakespearean tragedy? Philza’s up for it. Fundy wants him as a parental figure and mentor? Philza’s here for him. Tommy, conversely, doesn’t want him as a paternal presence, even though it would make sense for Philza’s character, as it was established so far, to be there? Philza will oblige.

The reason I’m mentioning this is because, while Tommy and Dream were unwilling to utilise Philza in their storyline, someone else was more than happy to. Which leads us back, like it always does, to everyone’s favourite Porky Pig-kinnie in a crown: Technoblade.

Technoblade and Philza, from everything I’ve seen of them, seem to be very good friends – and they share a lot of history even outside SBI. So, it’s commendable that they would collaborate on a storyline together.

A consequence of that, however, is that Philza’s narrative purpose shifts completely with very little transition. His entire character changes from being the Mentor-figure of L’Manberg to being pretty much exclusively defined as Technoblade’s ally; his man on the inside. It is a very sharp turn from the end of Season 1. Their relationship is once again informed via intertext – this time the Antarctic Empire on SMPEarth serves as the hypotext – but there isn’t a huge effort made to smoothly integrate that aspect of Philza’s character into the larger narrative framing around him.

How much the narrative utilisation of Philza has shifted can be very easily observed through the Butcher Army event on December 16th, a story event that I like less and less the more I think about. Here Philza is used to show just how corrupt and violent Tubbo’s administration has becomes. He is no longer the respected mentor, he is now the stand-in for the oppressed populace, similar to Niki’s role in Season 1. On a narrative level, he is here to prove a point.

If you’ve seen my Technoblade video, you know how I feel about … just that entire storyline, so I will not reiterate too much on it. I just want to make clear that I’m not principally against this development – if they wanted to truly explore Tubbo going down a dark path and getting corrupted by power, so much so that he would even treat the person who effectively raised him like a prisoner, I would be extremely here for it, I cannot stress that enough.

The problem I have is that it’s just so sloppily done. It is not coherent with how these characters behaved and, more importantly, how they were narratively framed prior to the Butcher Army event. Fundy gets one token line about Phil being his Grandfather – a far cry from the very emotionally complex relationship they had established at the beginning of Season 2 – and Phil then callously disowns him.

The major problem simply is that we don’t see how Philza changes from Mentor-figure to embittered, oppressed citizen. And there was enough time to build to that. During the entirety of Tommy’s exile Tubbo was pretty much spinning his wheels and Quackity and Fundy were opening up plot cul-de-sacs that didn’t end up going anywhere. This is time they could have spent on developing their relationship to Philza and the dark path they were going down – but again, Season 2 video.

There is not much to say on Philza’s narrative purpose and framing beyond the Butcher Army event. He remains pretty much exclusively Techno’s consigliere with his role as Mentor to L’Manburg a distant memory. He has some cute character moments with Ranboo, because content creator Philza is just big dad-energy whether he wants to or not, and whenever he and Ghostbur share a scene suddenly the narrative remembers that there are people other than Technoblade that should exist in Philza’s inner world. But aside from that, Philza’s storyline in Season 2 remains … pretty definitive is the nicest way I can put it.

Most importantly his relationship with Tommy continues to be completely unexplored – whether by chance or choice – and that combined with ever vaguer paratext leaves “Dadza” in a very peculiar situation.

 Conclusion: Is Dadza a Good Dadza?

So, the question to end all questions. The big, obnoxious text, that I will probably have put in the thumbnail – I haven’t made it yet, but I know myself. The honest answer is: I couldn’t tell you.

I have, in the past, been expounding the virtues of narrative analysis. That is because I feel that Narrative Analysis and Textual Analysis, like in this video, can provide certain tools that Character Analysis lacks. Often times I see people trying to get at a writing problem or query and getting frustrated because they’re not using the toolset, they need to figure out what they want to figure out.

But I’d be a hypocrite if I pretended like everything could be solved through the modes of analysis I prefer. And I think the Dadza-issue is exactly such a case.

I set out to explore why the Philza-Tommy-“Dadza”-relationship has become so controversial. It’s a combination of expectations build up through intertextual readings, that were partly canonized – something that is very common for the Dream SMP – conflicting pieces of paratext, which only serve to muddle the issue further and a text that is not only completely uninterested in actually exploring Tommy’s and Philza’s relationship – as it stands right now they might as well be strangers, narratively speaking – but also completely changes Philza’s narrative purpose as it relates to characters like Fundy or Tubbo about half-way through with little to no transition.

That is why I say, that Philza’s character is a victim of narrative circumstance. Because unwittingly, through all of these factors and decisions, there is not coherent reading of Philza that frames his parental skills in a particularly kind light.

The question of how we can judge Phil as a paternal figure ultimately falls within the purview of the character analysis – and that’s a very multifaceted issue, highly dependent on which POV you focus on and how you interpret the other characters in that POV’s periphery.

To put my cards on the table, I think that Philza is a very flawed father/father-figure – and I find that absolutely okay. Flaws are the spice of character building. He is not Cinderella’s Evil Stepmother – but he’s also definitely not Mufasa. If we were to read Philza as a paternal figure, then he would have made a lot of mistakes and decisions to the detriment of his “children” – least of all everything that happened on Doomsday.

But I also have sympathies for Philza fans who are tired of the Dad-Debate and would like to have his character judged independent from his relationship to Ghostbur, Fundy, Tubbo and Tommy.

Ultimately, to bring it all to a point, I’d like to end with saying, that I think that Philza, out of all the characters on the SMP, has the potential to be on of the most intriguing, multifaceted ones. There are all of these different patches of story, character moments and narrative and transtextual implications, that, if brought together, could create a beautiful tapestry of the character Philza.

You have his relationship with Techno, which holds the potential for so much emotional conflict and vulnerabilities, you have his time as mentor of L’Manburg, which is just criminally underused; the complex relationship between him and Ghostbur/Wilbur; and – for me, personally – most intriguingly this weird, almost uncomfortably distant non-relationship with Tommy. That last one is intriguing to me, because it contrasts just so much with our intertextual understanding of the characters and streaming personas – and it just holds the potential for so much conflict, so much drama, so much angst. Which I live for!

And, yes, I do believe that most of this is narrative happenstance, that this was largely not intended by Philza or really any of the writers. It’s just what happens when hybrid-roleplay-improv a long-running, livestreamed storyline in Minecraft.

But I want them to realize the potential they have on their hands, because it could – with barely any adjustments – turn Philza from a victim of narrative circumstance to a champion of it!

 Outro

Thank you so much for watching this video. Usually, I don’t record outros this standard, but after this beast of a video I felt it necessary. I hope that whether you’re a Philza fan or a Philza critical or just completely uninvolved in the whole thing, there is at least a little entertainment you could get from this.

I want to take this opportunity to say that my next few videos will probably not be Dream SMP related – a sentence which undoubtedly lost me a bunch of subs – simply because I don’t want to burn out on it. I genuinely enjoy watching the SMP and being exhausted by it would be something I wouldn’t want to force on myself.

But who knows what will happen? The Karl Jacobs video was something I did spur of the moment because the idea just came to me – so I can’t guarantee that the next video won’t be a three-minute joke about Purpled or whatever.

Anyway, my concrete plans for future Dream SMP videos are essays on Season 1 and Season 2 as well as one for Tales from the SMP.

Before that I have a longer video in the works, which I’ve already teased a bunch, so I hope it will finally be finished sometime. And I also may be working on something … eboys-related? Maybe. I’m not making any promises!

[vablappreciationweek]

who can participate?

the prompts are meant for everyone! there should be enough wiggle room that you can get an edit, artwork, fic or meta out of each day. 

what are the prompts?

Day one (July 21): Vampire Academy appreciation/match made in heaven (or somewhere)

Day two (July 22): Bloodlines appreciation/starcrossed lovers

Day three (July 23): Favourite character/human au (college, teachers, hospital, etc)

Day four (July 24): Favourite ship/canon divergence

Day five (July 25): Favourite friendship/favourite trope (soulmates, fake dating, etc.)

Day six (July 26): Favourite familial relationship/historical and/or fusion au

Day seven (July 27): Free space!

what’s with the multiple prompts?

well, some members of the fandom don’t feel comfortable with photoshop or a pen, so to get as many people participating as possible, I wanted to make sure there were prompts to get fic writers’ creative juices flowing! “favourite ship” and “vampire academy appreciation” didn’t seem like it’d cut it. if the alternative prompts catch the attention of graphic makers, or the visual prompts inspire something for fic writers, so much the better! you don’t have to use both prompts when making your piece.

are you tracking any tags?

I’m tracking #vablappreciationweek! I’ll also be keeping an eye on #vaedit, #vampireacademyedit, #bloodlinesedit, and the tags for all the major characters and ships, but with so many ships and characters, there’s a risk that some posts might slip past me, especially if you’re posting about a minor character or rare pair, so tagging your posts with #vablappreciationweek will make it much easier for me to find your work! Of course, if tumblr is being Like ThatTM and your post isn’t showing up in any tag, feel free to just message me and let me know the post exists.

help, I have no idea what to do for the free space day!

maybe you’ve got a beloved minor character/rare pair you know won’t get much attention on the favourite character/ship day, maybe there are some song lyrics you think really match a character/ship, maybe you’ve got some strong headcanons about the future of the va-verse... the world is your oyster.

does the melrose fam count as a familial relationship?

yes, absolutely, 100%, go for it

what's meta?

it’s any non-fiction writing about the series, fandom, or fanworks. so you might want to write an essay about how rose is the greatest heroine in ya, or put together a collection of your favourite sydrian quotes, or write a theory about how you think the strigoi vaccine roll out will go.

do I have to make something for every day?

of course not. if you only have the time or interest to make one or two pieces, then that’s cool. we’re happy to have whatever you’ve got.