#cc : cuttlefishculler | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

goofy-goobers-r-us · 7 months ago

Text

Arrogance

A homestuck creepypasta

Concept and story created by me

Arrogance design by: @disintegore

Note: I won't be doing the typing quirks and any pester logs or conversations the characters have are plain typing styles as to make it easier for some readers to understand especially if those struggle at reading said typing quirks

Every troll knows of her imperious condescension... The empress of Alternia.... One who believed in the chance of having the troll race a chance to grow... A calculated dictator with nothing but vanity, utter corruption and the very example, of what is wrong with what we stand for as royalty; as Fuchsias and Violets, as the very idea of what a highblood is to be.

I was molded by that very arrogance, that very utter corruption that has not only been shown from her actions but rather this entire wretched planet. It is a plague I will continue to exterminate.

As long as I can remember I've come and go. I've removed those unfit of such rich blood and I fear again my work isn't over or ever will be. Many could possibly have deemed my judgements unfitting or undeserving but in my very eyes in how I see things, I have a different vision that cannot be comprehended by all.

This game that has been happening has simply given me more work to do, and I sense... A new victim has come to take the step.

YOU ARE; ERIDAN AMPORA

You stand in your respiteblock. You are a SEA DWELLER. A sub-race of troll distinct by commoners. A caste that which rules over the entire species. However.. Ruling just simply isn't enough for you. You kinda just maybe sorta have a huge genocidal complex with an ego so huge it's sorta a miracle that some of those can even tolerate you.

Though recently you can't shake off this feeling.. As of recently you've been feeling cold. A different kinda cold though. The kinda cold you can't shake off no matter what and you've also been hearing what sounds like a strange tune. Sometimes that tune gets kinda quiet, then loud, then quiet again... Recently though that said quietness isn't as present. What could that mean? Well.. For now you bother your moirail.

caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling cuttlefishCuller [CC]

CA: glub glub

CC: glub!

CA: hm

CC: what!! What is it!!

CA: what!?

CC: it'd be nice if you can just tell me what's on ur mind already

CA: well I'm not sure if you'd wanna hear it..

CC: I would actually. We're moirails we're supposed to talk to each other

CA: well you wouldn't exactly like it considering it's to do with my agenda and I don't think you like. or any of my agendas at all really.

CC: are you really fretting over ANOTHER one of your contraptions.

CC: your plots to kill land dwellers just never works out and everytime you DO wanna make a contraption it's just some piece of junk.

CA: well all military masterminds never give up. 7th times the charm or whatever the saying goes.

CC: I just feel like you know its wrong and yet you don't care!

CA: idk why I have to explain this to you this is important to me I feel like that's enough.

CA: especially for our kind. even you don't get that

CC: We aren't better than everyone else. And if you're REALLY as sickened as you say then how come you talk to trolls like Kanaya so damn often!!

CA: Well I never said she'd be excluded from what I have for my plans.

CA: Even if she's someone I tolerate she's just still another land dweller. She's nicer than other ones but she still is someone to be aware of

CC: I don't get how you can say that. I feel like you should still think about the fact they are your friends!!

CA: well this Is all just military tactics that's all it ever is!

CC: they're still ur friends. you really think they're that beneath you???

CC: you especially still like talking to them. I wish you'd stop pretending that you didn't. we both know that.

CA: we all know in history some conquerors just sway their enemies to get them later. simple.

CA: on some other note though. I still don't get why she ignores me. I feel like we had some sorta good rivalry there. good chemistry and all but idk what happened

CC: umm, idk sometimes people aren't as into the quadrant as the other one is yk.

CC: so you really think your feelings are in the dark for her?

CA: it doesn't really matter she's bored shitless of me for sure so perhaps I'm not as good as an adversary as I thought.

CC: THATS RIDICULOUS!! I'm sure any girl would be as lucky to have someone as DIABOLICAL as you for a kissmesis!!

CA: well thanks for thinking so.

CC: we should talk about our romantic aspirations more it's exciting!!!

CA: shrug

CC: Ah but you keep gossiping to your nubby horned bro so much! nothing for your dear sweet moirail...

CC: SPEAKING OF QUADRANTS! What about any red leanings... There some lucky lady or lucky fellow!??

CA: oh uh. God.

CC: TELL MEEEEEE. embarrassed so suddenly? Come on!

CA: alright fef this ain't any of ur damn business. I'll be back soon.

caligulasAquarium [CA] ceased trolling cuttlefishCuller [CC]

CC: aw man.. 38(

Well that was an emotionally draining conversation! Feelings and problems. You and this princess definitely splashed hard into the Moirail zone. Maybe some way or another you can reveal those true feelings to her someday.

Feferi: Get a beverage

Geez. ANOTHER emotionally draining conversation. Some high maintenance moirail alright. Tonight might be a good idea to talk about your real feelings with the guy. For now... You need a sugary drink.

Eridan: This isn't right.

You were gonna have a sugary drink to chillax about everything but everything feels too off. You feel like you're being watched. Something is off. This isn't your usual overthinking antics about your relationships with your quadrant mates either. This is different. You feel a sense of dread. It's. So. Cold. Why is it so cold. That tune why is it always present. Whats happening.

Such foolishness. That's all it ever is isn't it.

CA: who's there?! I feel. You. This. Feeling. It's you. It always was you.

You're just like her. That same behavior. That same vanity. It's always the same, that behavior never truly fades does it...

CA: what are you talking about.

You feel strange. You feel physically weaker you feel like you can't move your body unless it's just you shaking in fear. Everything around you looks so dark.

You don't have to be afraid child. I will rid you of your arrogance. This is all a dream. That's all it ever is... Your rest will come soon.

CA: I am above them, I am. It's always for us for her. For me.

Your very actions, your behaviors... It goes against everything we have ever stood for. Your arrogance and especially her existence are why I have been born. I have come to cleanse this planet. And I will start with you, for I am; Their Royal Arrogance.

CA: I don't understand it. Why.

Be not afraid child. This will make everything okay, for the better. An eternal rest... This is all it ever is...

You see a glimpse of its face. But why... Does it look so much like her... It's tall and imposing figure. It's long hair as sharp looking as a blade. Those horns... With what looks like a halo connecting between the two. It's sharp claws and, that sign on it's chest..

CA: What is going to. Happen. I still have to tell her. I don't understand. What are you.

You won't go out in only fear child. Just close your eyes for me.

As it finally approaches you, you see the creature in its entirety. You feel as if you're losing all sight... Your body finally feels as if its collapsing.

Goodnight, sweet sweet child. You can finally rest easy... You will be okay. You have nothing to fear.

You feel.. So tired.. Your heart is slowing down. slowly.. And slowly... It bumps slower... Till it eventually will stop completely. Your eyes are closing.

Eridan: Have your final dream

CC: Eridan. Eridan. Eridan!

CA: Huh?!

CC: You okay? You kinda blacked out.

CA: I... Yeah. Yeah. I'm okay.

CC: that's good!!

CC: Though since you're fine I have something to tell you

CA: oh.. What.. What is it

CC: alright! But this is weird to say!

CA: I'm sure it'll be alright..

CC: When we had that talk of red feelings. You know how I asked who it was. I never told you mine

CC: It was you.

CA: wait. Really..?

CC: Mhm.

CA: That's.. Wow. Me too. Me too.

CC: Well then I guess that makes us..? 38)

CA: Yeah.. I'd like that

As you finally rest, you feel... Comfort. Even if you're slowly dying... You can't help but have a feeling of euphoria. Guess you finally got outta the moirail splash zone.

Eridan Ampora - Dead

cuttlefishCuller [CC] began trolling caligulasAquarium [CA]

CC: WOOOOOOEEEWWW

CC: I'm in!!

CC: Sollux finally came through and.. I believe the full chain is now complete!!

CC: Eridan?

CC: Eridan!

CC: Well maybe you're away.

CC: Since you are. I would hope you at least read this when you are able too

CC: since everything has happened and we have left everything behind

CC: and you can't pose any danger to those people you always planned too

CC: I don't think its necessary for me to be your moirail anymore.

CC: I'm sorry eridan.

CC: looking after you has just been exhausting. and it took a toll on me.

CC: It might be better for both of us

CC: as just. regular friends

CC: ...

CC: I'm sorry. I have to go help sollux now!!

cuttlefishCuller [CC] ceased trolling caligulasAquarium [CA]

Curious. How curious indeed. No matter. You can finally rest easy now child. Sweet dreams..

Whatever signs of the creature being there are now gone. The only thing that remains there is what looks like Eridan sleeping... Peacefully. Arrogance is gone now.

#homestuck #creepypasta #eridan ampora #the condesce #her imperious condescension #feferi peixes #trolls homestuck #Their Royal Arrogance

62 notes · View notes

homestuckreplay · 6 months ago

Text

chumhandle etymology pt.3

Today on Rose and Dave's computer we saw the presumably final seven of the twelve trolls - Jade has counted twelve (p.1000), and between the twelve trolls and four kids all two-letter combinations of A, T, C and G are represented. These are the letters representing DNA bases in both real-world DNA sequencing and in ectobiology, as practiced imperfectly by Rose and her mom (p.934)

I wrote about the beta kids' chumhandles here, and the first five trolls (CG, AG, TA, TC, CA) here - now here's a quick overview of the rest of the set.

gallowsCalibrator [GC] – execution by hanging, or the structure made for it, and an instrument used as a reference to check that similar instruments perform accurately, or the person operating that instrument. So this is the person who ensures the gallows are used correctly, a real middle manager who doesn’t order or carry out executions themself, but enables them still. Possibly like a Jack Noir or a level below him.

arsenicCatnip [AC] – a toxic heavy metal used in car batteries, bullets, semiconductors and pesticides/herbicides, and a plant related to mint that is loved by many cats, or colloquially anything that is irresistible to someone. This evokes environmental destruction, Famine in the horsemen of the apocalypse, or more generally someone who is trying to kill or make toxic things that are enjoyed.

cuttlefishCuller [CC] – a shallow water squidlike mollusc among the most intelligent invertebrates that was once valued for its brown pigment, and a person who kills animals for population control or to eliminate rejects. This is a ruthless person who believes in survival of the fittest and their own intellectual superiority, and only cares about other creatures in terms of what they can personally gain.

centaursTesticle [CT] – a mythical creature with the upper body of a man and the lower body of a horse, also a small solar system body between Jupiter and Neptune, and a reproductive organ in male mammals. Someone who is obsessed with physical strength and prowess, has likely internalized toxic masculinity, perhaps the sort of gym bro who takes questionable supplements to increase muscle mass. Does not seem like a super online person, so this one is surprising. Also my initials are CT and I can’t believe this is the character I got.

grimAuxiliatrix [GA] – serious, foreboding or gloomy, and Latin for a female assistant or helper. This is someone in a service role who either takes their job very seriously, or their job itself involves working with dark and forbidding forces, like the person who translates the melodious chirps and tongue-clicks of NRUB'YIGLITH, SHAMEBEAST KING OF GROTESQUERY, WRITHE-LORD OF THE MOIST BEYONDHOOD (p.303) to the general public.

apocalypseArisen [AA] – the final destruction of the world or a world-altering event capable of causing this, and something that has begun to occur, become apparent, or gotten out of bed. This one is the most passive of all the handles (alongside twinArmageddons) and basically says ‘the end of the world is about to happen, or is happening now’ which it’s hard to argue with based on the story so far. Could be a highly religious person who sees themself as an agent, prophet or herald of a higher power.

adiosToreador [AT] – Spanish for goodbye, and a participant or performer in a bullfight. This person knows five words of Spanish and thinks they’re really cool because of it. They also see themselves as the bull in the bullfight, a more raw and animal strength instead of the fighter’s honed technique, and are probably a counterpart or rival to centaursTesticle.

Much like the first five, all of these names have negative connotations, although these vary between physical pain, disease and toxicity, dark bureaucracy, and cosmic-scale catastrophe. These are definitely names chosen to be hostile or intimidating, it just doesn’t work well on Rose and Dave who are plenty capable of appearing hostile and intimidating by themselves. But for people more susceptible to being trolled, these chumhandles definitely feed into the abrasive personas these kids(?) are crafting.

#homestuck #trolls #analysis #chrono

21 notes · View notes

wild-fae-trickster · 1 year ago

Text

#homestuck #character polls #chumhandle

4 notes · View notes

cc-cuttlefishculler · 2 years ago

Text

3 notes · View notes

hinge · 27 days ago

Photo

Hinge presents an anthology of love stories almost never told. Read more on https://no-ordinary-love.co

1K notes · View notes

mysteryfandomsideblog3000 · 2 years ago

Note

Go answer cc-cuttlefishculler's post later

does this mean you used to have a cartoon look prior to becoming woman shaped?

I know of one person online whose wardrobe contains 2 possible outfits that he put down to probable autism but his economic ideas are trash

i would describe it as boring

that shirt is dark green irl. i didn’t have a bright green one on hand

like the color of this watwr bottle

2 notes · View notes

pesterloglog · 2 years ago

Text

Feferi Peixes, Eridan Ampora

Act 5, page 2467

cuttlefishCuller [CC] began trolling caligulasAquarium [CA]

CC: W)()()()()(-E-E-E-E-EW.

CA: fef are you in

CC: Yea)(...

CA: that took forevver

CA: i wwas gettin wworried kinda

CC: Yes, it was a pretty close call, and got kind of complicated.

CC: But Sollux finally came t)(roug)(, and now I believe t)(e full c)(ain is complete!

CA: man that guy

CA: hes a fuckin drama machine it is fuckin pathetic

CC: YOUR STUPID FIS)(Y FAC-E IS T)(-E DRAMA MAC)(IN-E T)(AT DO-ES NOT)(ING BUT W)(IN-E AND GLUB.

CC: 38P

CA: fuck SORRY

CC: Anyway you s)(ouldn't say t)(at about )(im, )(e is a )(ero and )(e saved my life.

CA: yeah sorry

CA: i wwas just really wworried and stressed out i thought you wwere dead

CA: and i didnt evven get to thank you for savvin my life or really for anythin

CA: and i just spent all this time here wworryin and thinkin about stuff

CA: and i decided i havve something i wwant to tell you

CA: that ivve been meaning to get off my nub for a wwhile noww

CC: O)(, really?

CC: T)(at's good! Actually, I )(ave somet)(ing I )(ave been meaning to say to you too.

CA: wwhoa really

CA: uh

CA: wwhat is it

CA: you go first

CC: Mm, okay.

CC: But t)(is isn't easy to say!

CA: yeah i knoww

CA: its ok maybe i wwill understand more than you think

CA: wwe might evven be sayin the same thing

CC: Okay, I )(ope so.

CC: I t)(ink...

CC: Now t)(at we are bot)( in t)(is game, and )(ave left our world be)(ind...

CC: And you can no longer pose t)(e danger to our people t)(at you )(ad always planned to...

CC: I t)(ink it is not really necessary for me to be your moirail anymore.

CA: wwhoa

CA: wwait

CA: wwhat

CC: 38(

CC: I am really sorry, -Eridan. It )(as just been so )(ard looking after you and keeping you out of trouble!

CC: It )(as taken its toll, and )(onestly I am really ex)(austed.

CA: fuck

CA: this isnt what

CA: i dont knoww i wwasnt expectin this at all

CA: im not sure i can handle this

CC: I'm sorry!!! 38'(

CC: It will be t)(e best for bot)( of us. We can just sort of be...

CC: Regular friends instead.

CA: no

CA: please dont

CA: look im bein serious here dont do this

CA: i wont even use my weird accent while i type ok so you know im bein really dead serious and honest about this

CC: Uh...

CC: Okay, I am being serious and honest too. SEE?

CA: ok good

CA: are you sure you arent bein hasty about this youve just been through a lot

CA: i mean we are supposed to be fated to be moirails arent we

CA: isnt that how it works

CA: you cant just throw all that away cause youre sick of me

CC: I am not sick of you, Eridan! I still really like you.

CC: In order to be destined for moirallegience, both people have to be on board, don't you think?

CC: But I cannot do it anymore. So I think it just wasn't meant to be all along.

CC: And really, you just don't need me anymore. You are free to do as you wish! We both are.

CC: I can't look after you anymore.

CA: I DIDNT EVER NEED ANYONE TO LOOK AFTER ME

CA: i was totally fuckin fine my ambitions were noble

CA: and really none of your fuckin business QUITE FRANKLY your majesty

CA: and the only reason i put up with stickin my flipper in this fuckin shithole quadrant with you was

CC: Was what?

CA: nevermind

CC: Tell me!

CA: ok fine

CA: i apologize for losin my shit over this i was just caught off guard is all

CA: but maybe its a good thing really

CA: actually i might a been proposin the same thing to be honest

CC: Oh?

CA: yeah

CA: fef have you thought about

CA: since you dont wanna be pale with me no more

CA: the possibility a some other type of arrangement with me

CC: What do you mean?

CA: i mean

CA: somethin a bit more

CA: kinda reddish

CA: like

CA: brighter red

CC: 38O

CC: No, I hadn't thought about it!

CA: ok well what do you think about it

CA: now that youre thinkin about it

CC: Um...

CC: I really don't know about that.

CA: why not i thought you said you liked me

CC: I do! But I don't know if it's really in that way.

CA: couldnt it be though

CA: dont you think theres room in your collapsin and expandin bladder based aquatic vascular system for those feelins

CC: I've never had a chance to consider anything like that! I have just spent all my time worrying about you and trying to keep you from killing everybody or hurting yourself.

CC: It took all my energy.

CC: I don't think I have anything left for those feelings either.

CA: oh god

CC: What?

CA: im the biggest fuckin idiot who ever lived

CA: i cant BELIEVE i just opened up to you like a chump when i knew what was comin

CA: i am one sad fuckin brinesucker

CA: overemotional sappy trash youre right im not better than anybody

CA: im worse than anybody

CA: EVERYBODY

CA: all the bodies

CC: STOP!!!!!!!!!!!

CC: God.

CC: Will you just clam up for once in your life?

CC: Always carping and carping and carping!

CC: You go completely overboard with your emotions, always looking to reel in drama wherever you can.

CC: I am up to my gills in it! I just can't salmon the strength anemonemore.

CA: i cannot

CA: BELIEVE

CA: you are doin the fish pun thing while youre breakin up with me

CA: real nice

CA: whoops i mean REEL nice

CC: HEHEHE, sorry.

CC: But really, this shouldn't be as bad as it sounds.

CC: When all is said and done, I am still your friend.

CC: We have left our world behind. Everyone is dead, and there's no use in worrying about it now.

CC: It's over! It is time to play this game and focus on building something new and ------EXCITING.

CC: So )(ang in t)(ere, -Eridan.

CC: I )(ave to go now! Sollux is in serious trouble, and I )(ave to go )(elp )(im.

CC: BY------------------------E!

CA: wwait

CA: dont go

cuttlefishCuller [CC] ceased trolling caligulasAquarium [CA]

CA: glub

#homestuck #feferi peixes #eridan ampora #homestuck act 5 #page 2467 #homestuck act 5 act 1

2 notes · View notes

daiily-2ollux · 4 years ago

Note

)(i s)(oallux! Wanna )(ave some cake? It's )(oney blueberry!

ta: don't miind iif ii do!

ta: waiit...

ta: diid you 2ay honey?

[YOU DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE EAT THE MIND HONEY]

#sollux captor #twinarmageddons #ta #feferi peixes #cuttlefishculler #cc #homestuck #hs #mod blue #anonymous

13 notes · View notes

lunatic-fandom-space · 3 years ago

Text

Okayyyyyyy we just spent a bunch of time w/ some crackhead and now we're back with Karkat :D love this guy anyway we got a bunch of pesterchum/chumproll username thingies

apocalypseArisen (AA)

adiosToreador (AT) (already met this dude, pretty sure he tYPES LIKE THIS)

twinArmageddon (TA) (also already met this guy although it was p brief, pretty sure he type2 liike thiis)

carcinoGeneticist (CG) (pretty sure this is our boy Karkat)

arsenicCatnip (AC)

grimAuxiliatrix (GA) (met this fella, Types Like This)

gallowsCalibrator (GC) (thats the leetspeak gal yall, possibly Vriska but Im not sure)

arachnidsGrip (AG)

centaursTesticle (CT)

terminallyCapricious (TC) (ayyyyyyyyy thats our crackhead Gamzee)

caligulasAquarium (CA)

cuttlefishCuller (CC)

Honestly, Im pretty nervous at the prospect of having to keep track of all these fellas but eh. I'll manage

Right now Im pretty sure that GC is Vriska, but if she isnt I predict that its gonna be AA

#its manga time!!#homestuck

20 notes · View notes

spidersfanfics · 4 years ago

Text

All The Fish in the Sea

Feferi x Eridan (Red) | Slight Angst? | Ancestors/Descendants as Family

"There's plenty of fish in the sea, but you're the only one for me."

-- caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling cuttlefishCuller [CC] --

CA: hey fef

CC: )(i -Eridan!

CA: are you goin to the highblood ball?

CC: I'll probably )(ave to 38(

CC: It's going to be so BORING

CA: oh ok

CA: i just wwanted to check because i'll be there too

CC: Oh R-E-ELY?

CC: Maybe it won't be so bad then! 38D

CA: haha i'll see you there

CC: Yeah, bye!

-- caligulasAquarium [CA] ceased trolling cuttlefishCuller [YT] --

Eridan sighed, leaning back in his chair. Well, that was that. Feferi knew he was going to the party so if she didn't take the time to say hi, he may as well give up.

He shook his head. Gog he was pathetic when it came to Feferi. They'd started out as moirails but it didn't take long for his feelings to run red.

Unfortunately, Feferi didn't seem to feel the same. "Don't screww this up Ampora." Eridan muttered to himself and went to go get ready.

The time soon came for the ball and Eridan arrived, dressed in a purple suit, gold rings sparkling on his fingers. He adjusted his cape and headed into the palace, owned by non other than her Imperial Condecesion.

"Wvell, I'm off," Cronus said the moment they got there. He'd barely even bothered to get dressed up, wearing a plain back suit, his hair the only part of him impecable as always.

"See ya," and with that he was gone.

Dualscar shook his head, "Disgrace," he muttered. "Eridan, I must go join the others at the high table. Stay out of trouble." Then he left as well, leaving Eridan standing alone, still at the doors.

He sighed and scanned the crowd, hoping to spot Feferi. He gave up after a moment as the room only got more and more crowded as time went on.

Instead, he decided to wander around, perhaps talk to some other people. The hours ticked by as he traveled between groups of people, never staying in one place for too long.

Still no sign of Feferi. It wasn't long before the party was drawing to a close and he still hadn't gotten the chance to speak to the fuscia blooded heiress.

By then, Eridan had ended up outside. Alone with his thoughts, he sat, staring up at the sky. The sound of waves crashing against the shore matched the deafening cacophony in his head.

Suddenly, he heard a teasing voice next to him him, "Quadrant troubles?" He turned his head to see that Feferi had somehow managed to sneak up next to him.

He briefly forgot how to breath. Beautiful didn't begin to describe how she looked in her pink and blue ball gown. Completed with a golden tiara.

"Uh, you could say that." He stammered.

Feferi giggled, "Sorry I didn't come say hi earlier. My mom kept me busy meeting guest after guest, I couldn't even make time for the guest I wanted to see the most." She explained.

When Eridan didn't reply right away, she smiled and carried on, "But I'm here now, so tell me. Did you ask someone out and get rejected again?" She asked with a mischievous grin.

Eridan laughed, "No, not this time Fef." He paused then added, "Actually, the issue this time is that I havven't asked yet."

Feferi's eyes widened, "Ooh, really? And who's the lucky troll if you don't mind me asking?"

Eridan hesitated, "It doesn't matter. They're not going to accept anywways." He said dejectedly.

"Oh come on, so what if they don't? It's not the end of the world." She thought for a bit, "What was that expression your brother picked up from the humans? There are plenty of fish in the sea!"

Eridan sighed, "But wwhat if I don't wwant the other fish? Wwhat if I think you're a really special fish and-" he cut himself off realising what he'd said. "I mean-"

Feferi blinked at him in confusion, "What did you say?"

"Uh," Eridan stuttered, unsure of how to reply.

"I'm the girl you were going to ask?" She asked again in disbelief.

"Umm maybe?" Eridan said, squriming under Feferi's intense gaze, "I mean yeah, kind of. I didn't really expect to be asking today. But umm."

Feferi suddenly started laughing, "Eridan you're brilliant but you can be so oblivious sometimes."

Eridan stared in confusion, "Wwhat are you talking about? There's no need to laugh at me."

Feferi shook her head, "Sorry. It's just funny. I'm flushed for you too, dummy."

"Wwait, really?" Eridan stammered, "I wwas so sure you didn't feel the same wway!"

"Well, surprise!" Feferi said still giggling when she was cut off by Eridan who'd pulled her in for a kiss.

When at last they separated, they were both blushing. "Wwill you be my matesprite?" Eridan asked.

"Yes!"

And then they lived happily ever after.

"Eridan!" The fish prince was shaken out of his fantasies by his father's yelling. "Don't forget about the ball tonight! I need you and your brother to be on your best behavior!"

Eridan sighed, "Yeah, I knoww, I'll start getting ready soon. Just let me get this done first."

Leaning forward, he turned on his computer.

-- caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling cuttlefishCuller [CC] --

#Homestuck #Eridan Ampora #Feferi Peixes #Erifef #Erifef Red #Just a dream #Familystuck #Spider Writes Homestuck

3 notes · View notes

incorrect-hs-quotes · 1 year ago

Text

CA: sheesh

CA: in da crib throwwin up

CC: Wtf?

CC: W)(y???

CA: thats wwhat i gotta do to get your attention?

CA: im not evven throwwin up

--- cuttlefishCuller [CC] is now an idle chum! ---

CA: youre gonna leavve me on read

CA: im throwwin up again

#source: @joshlovesyou #homestuck #incorrect homestuck quotes #incorrect quotes #mod dave #eridan ampora #feferi peixes

62 notes · View notes

heystuckstuck · 6 years ago

Text

doll parts part one

eridan ampora x reader

part one ==> HERE

part two ==> coming soon!!! <3

YOU ==> WAKE UP

You do. You are sprawled out on your own bed, which is soft, softer than anything you’ve slept on in awhile. You are lying on your stomach, your arms crooked under your pillow to support your head. This is the way you almost always sleep. Your phone dings to the left side of your head, and you blearily shift to your side to check it. It would appear that someone is trying to get ahold of you.

cuttlefishCuller [CC] began trollling chumHandle [CH]

CC: )(-Ey t)(-Er-E, Y/N!

CC: )(ow ar-E you f-E-Eling today?

CH: im feeling fairly pleasant atm

CH: just woke up

CH: you?

CC: I’m FINTASTIC!!!

CC: )(-E-E )(-E-E

CH: cute

CH: glad to see youre still doing the fish pun thing

CH: why exactly do you do it?

CC: I lik-E fish

CC: SO!!!

CH: :?

CC: ar-E you coming to my party tonight?

CC: I r-E-Elly hope so!

CH: shore

CH: ;)

CC: Aww )(-E-E )( -E-E!

CC: You us-Ed a fish pun

CC: )(ow glubbing cut-E!

CH: thank you, fef

CC: And don’t fr-Et!

CC: W-E’ll have som-Ebody watch out for you!

CC: So what )(app-En-Ed last tim-E won’t )(app-En again!

CH: …

CC: I’m sorry!

CC: I shouldn’t )(av-E brought it up

CC: 38(

CH: no, that’s ok

CH: it happened

CH: it’s okay to talk about it

CC: )(ow was it?

CH: how was what?

CC: T)(-E )(ospital?

CH: it was ok

CH: im totally better

CC: I’m sure as s)(-Ell glad to )(-Ear it!

CC: Sollux and the cr-Ew will b-E t)(-Er-E to pick you up

CH: the crew?

CC: I’m not shor-E who it’ll b-E but Sollux is driving a bunch of our fri-Ends ov-Er

CC: I asked )(im to pick you up too!

CC: 38)

CH: thanks feferi

CH: youre the best

CC: I c-Ertainly try

CC: T)(-Er-E’s no way to wink at you wit)( my -Emoticon

CC: So just picture t)(at in your )(-Ead

CH: ;)

chumHandle [CH] ceased trolling cuttlefishCuller [CC]

twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling chumHandle [CH]

TA: y/n

CH: sollux

TA: thii2 ii2 gonna be a really weiird que2tiion

TA: plea2e don’t get mad

TA: but

TA: would you fuck ed

CH: what why

TA: becau2e seniior year is almo2t here and iif he doe2nt lo2e hii2 viirgiiniity before hii2 biirthday ii can’t be hii2 friiend anymore

CH: what makes you so sure he’s a virgin

TA: y/n

CH: fair point

TA: ii ju2t know that you have 2ome pretty lax 2tandard2

CH: are you calling me a “2lut”

CH: is that what’s happening right now

TA: god no

TA: ii ju2t wanna get the ba2tard laiid

CH: fine, i’ll do it

TA: y/n you are a 2aiint

TA: 2eriiou2ly

TA: nobody el2e would touch that ugly fucker with a ten foot pole

CH: you and i both know that eridan isn’t ugly

CH: he’s actually quite handsome

TA: god gro22

TA: ju2t thank you

TA: you’re doiing u2 all a favor really

TA: ed fuck2 you and then he’ll 2hut hiis fuckiing iidiiot mouth about not fuckiing anythiing

CH: how many times are you gonna say fuck

TA: fuck

CH: that’s fair

CH: yeah i’ll do it

TA: cool

TA: fiinger gun2

TA: ii’ll piick you up at 6

twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling chumHandle [CH]

Sollux is there for you promptly at six o’clock. You’re standing on the curb, waiting for him, when his familiarly tiny rusty red car pulls up alongside you. The music is so loud you can hear it through the closed doors and when you glance in the passenger’s side window, Aradia gestures her thumb back behind her. She must’ve called shotgun, or maybe Sollux got her first. You open the door to the backseat and clamber inside.

Karkat is on the far end, smushed into the door. He looks as disagreeable as always but he offers you a softer-than-usual smile as he adjusts his traditional black t-shirt. Eridan, in between the two of you, looks far more uncomfortable. You notice the way he is desperately trying not to look at you and in retaliation, you put a soft hand on his thigh. He looks as though he might faint, cheeks flushed and forehead beaded with sweat. He doesn’t say anything to you, but Karkat does.

“Alright, Y/N?”

Yes. Why wouldn’t you be?

“Yes, why wouldn’t I be?”

Karkat shrugs although from the hunch of his shoulders, you can tell he wants to argue. Everyone knows that he’s lying. You know he’s lying. You know why everybody wants to know if you’re alright. And frankly, it’s nobody’s fucking business.

Not even if they stroked your hair and whispered soft little nothings to you all the way to the emergency room. Not even then.

As you walk into the party, you notice a tall, slim figure posed at the front of the grand entrance hall. He’s smoking a cigarette and he has sunglasses on indoors. Dave Strider. He greets your friends casually but when he gets to you he falters and peers at you over the top of his shades.

“All better, Y/N?”

“Yes, I’m totally better. I eat almonds and yogurt and soup.” He nods curtly, but you can see the tension in his face. It would be difficult to miss, as difficult to miss as those reddish brown eyes of his. You remember the last time you saw them.

You were lying on your back with the left side of your face caked in vomit. Your limbs were seizing up and you wanted to scream but it was like your voice was invisible. Dave knelt over you, eyes as wide as saucers as he begged you to stay awake, please stay awake, oh god, what did you do, why did you do this, god no, please no, no no no no no nonononononononononono.

And you put your hand on his face and said, “Hello David.” Or tried to. You’re sure that what came out was a flubbed version.

“What did you take?” He’s begging you please tell him, tell him so he can get you to the hospital and they can pump your stomach, god please.

“13 valiums and a bottle of gin.” You try to tell him that you were just trying to float and stop your misery and stop the not eating and stop stop stop stop stop. But he can’t hear you. He screams out a feeble and watery Karkat and then you’re in a car with Karkat petting you and his mouth was moving but all you could hear were sirens. You wanted to sleep more than anything but Karkat kept shoving you awake and talking to you and telling you stories and begging you don’t go to sleep, no.

So you suppose if anyone has the right to ask you if you’re okay, it’s Dave, and you’d better tell him too. So you do, but you can tell that he doesn’t fully believe you, but to your relief, he leaves it.

The music is loud. It makes your ears numb. You see Feferi but you don’t go and say hi because she’s kissing Sollux on his mouth and tracing her fingers up his arm and you know you shouldn’t interrupt, so you don’t and push your way further through Feferi’s house. The lights are all pink and blue and hazy and you can’t see through the smoke in the air and you can taste the acrid tang of cigarettes in the back of your mouth, which makes it feel like cotton. You stumble and trip over something-someone lying on a beanbag on the floor, who doesn’t try to catch you when you fall into his bony chest.

“Well hey there, little sis, how’s it motherfuckin’ hangin’?” It’s Gamzee, with his dark, splotchy face and lazy looking eyes and dopey grin. He doesn’t help you up, the idea doesn’t even seem to occur to him. His eyes are bloodshot and his left hand’s slender fingers grip a short, lit blunt, which he offers to you.

“You want a hit?” Nobody except him in your friend group smokes pot. They drink and snort crushed up pills but they don’t smoke weed. You’ve tried it before, but only a few times. You didn’t like how it stung your throat and made you cough.

“Nah, that stuff makes you hungry.” That was your least favorite thing about it. The last time you smoked pot, you’d woken up naked on John’s couch with your hands and chest smeared in food goop and no memory of how it got there. You didn’t need that again. Gamzee doesn’t seem to mind, and just takes another drag.

“It’s no problem sis, more for me.” You watch him as he puffs on it again, noting the way the slight orange glow offsets the neon lights in the room.

“Anyway, chica, long time no see. How’s it been?” You shrug and Gamzee laughs.

“That’s so motherfuckin’ righteous, sister. Seriously, be all up and motherfuckin’ careful. Don’t want anything bad happening to you or anything.” You’re dumbstruck by the fact that Gamzee of all people, slow-witted, slow-reacting, oblivious, with a brain half-ruined y marijuana knows. God, how does Gamzee know?

“I saw you, all up and covered in that puke. Shit, y’know, it fuckin’ scared me. I love you and I don’t want you to die or anything. You were shaking and crying and everyone was all just sitting there, not knowing what to up and do. It was the opposite of a miracle. But maybe the fact that you’re not dead is a miracle and whatever god exists kept you alive for us. I’m motherfuckin’ happy about that. I’d miss you if you were dead. I think everybody would, even if they pretend they wouldn’t.”

Gamzee then punctuates his profound statement with a soft belch and he gives you a watery, peaceful smile, close-lipped, with his eyes shut. You return the smile, though yours is more strained than his because god just stop fucking talking about it.You get it. You don’t really want to be dead anymore but you wish everyone would stop reminding you of it. You want to forget as much as anybody else. You never wanted everyone to see you, shaking on the floor, eyes rolled up into the back of your head with foam oozing from between your lips all over your white tanktop, staining it pink. You want to forget. You want to forget Feferi screaming and and Sollux saying, hush, hush, FF, it’s okay, and Dave’s tears dribbling onto your face and getting into your mouth. They were salty on your numb tongue.

Gamzee’s hand begins to snake down the front of his sweatpants and you decide to leave before this gets awkward. You abandon Gamzee and trip on your way to the stairs, which you clamber up, on your way to Feferi’s second story bathroom. You don’t have to go, you just want to inspect Feferi’s mom’s medicine cabinet, see if she’s gotten anything new since the last time you were here, before. Before. Before you took John’s grandmother’s pills out of the kitchen and fell on the floor and Feferi screamed and Dave cried and Karkat crooned in your ear and you felt more loved than you ever had before, which was bullshit because of course everyone loves you when you try to die.

She doesn’t have anything new, you note with mild disappointment, pocketing some old pills that haven’t been touched since the last time you were here. You read the label before hiding them. Oxytocin. Pain pills. You shove it, along with your hands into your oversized maroon jacket, and just in time too, because the door you were certain you locked opens to your right. You turn and meet an abashed-looking Tavros, his face alcohol and embarrassment-flushed.

“Oh, I didn’t realize that anybody would be in here. I just needed to, um, well, yeah, you know.” He stumbles over his words and looks flustered, so you smile at him.

“Oh, that’s alright, I was just leaving.” You grab a tiny white paper cup, designed for mouthwash and fill it with water before exiting the bathroom, brushing past Tavros’s shoulder. He closes the door and you pull out the pills and take two with the shot of water you have. You aren’t addicted to popping pills, but it is an outstanding interest of yours. You wait a few minutes and then you feel fuzzy and it’s a bit like you’re walking on the ceiling as you trample down the hallway. You walk back down the stairs on watery legs, trying admirably not to fall on your face, which you don’t.

You walk to the kitchen, where Vriska is leaning with her back and elbows resting against the counter. Terezi and John are with her and you notice them eye you suspiciously as you open up all of the cabinets and count the cans inside.

“Hungry?” John asks, voice shaking a little bit. You remember seeing him, driving the car, speeding down the freeway, pedal to the metal. He kept frantically glancing back at you, blue eyes enormous, even more so than usual. Hs too-large front teeth were worrying his bottom lip and his knuckles were white as he gripped the steering wheel. You know why his voice is shaking. You’re starting to get tired of this.

“No.”

“What’re you doing then?”

“Counting.”

“Okay,” he says, sounding uneasy. God, why can’t people just stop being fucking worried about you? Why does John have to quirk his perfectly arched and adorable eyebrows at you like that? Why does he have to bite his lip and why does goddamn Vriska of all people look worried about you? You know perfectly well the reason why, but you don’t care. You don’t care that they all saw you. That everyone knows. You couldn’t care less.

You exist through the backdoor in the kitchen because you need some air, jesus. You can’t stand the way they all look at you, with such pity and fear. It was a mistake and you’ll never live it down because you scared everybody shitless. You take a deep breath of untainted air and somebody sighs right after you exhale. What the hell?

“What the hell?” You glance around and huddled at your feet is Eridan, his floral short-sleeve button down too tight in the arms. He’s wearing slacks too, which is such an Eridan thing to do and you are filled with an overwhelming surge of affection toward your friend. This is all he is, your friend. Your friend that might fuck you later, according to Sollux.

You flop down next to him. He doesn’t react, just takes a long sip from his red plastic cup. It’s probably beer, which you’re sure upsets his sensitive palette but he’s actively not complaining in dramatic, emotional theatrics for once so you don’t question it.

“Hey.”

“What’re you doing out here, ‘Dan?”

“Everywhere else was full.” It’s true. All of your friends are rambunctiously partying in every corner of Feferi’s party. Except the bedrooms, you suppose. But maybe Feferi and Sollux have already made their way there, you know they will eventually and Feferi will call you tomorrow and tell you all about it. You know every detail of her sex life. She knows every detail of yours and while you are always supportive, sometimes she frowns at you and shakes her head.

“Ah.”

You’re both silent for awhile, the only sounds being of your breath and Eridan sipping his beer solemnly and yet, delicately. Feferi has a trampoline in her backyard and you haven’t jumped around and just had fun in god knows how long so you get up and offer your hand to Eridan. He accepts, although with a cocked eyebrow, and his hand still firmly in yours, you guide him to the trampoline.

“Really, Y/N? You wanna play on the goddamn trampoline? That’s fairly, just, it’s juvenile, don’t you think?”

“Yes, absolutely.” And you take off your shoes and fling your body onto the black netting and bounce a few times. Eridan hesitantly follows you.

“What if someone sees us?”

“Let them. We’re young and you’re drunk and I want to fly,” you say, leaping into the air and coming down with a spring. Eridan doesn’t jump at first, not until you grab his sleeve and tug on it and oh, Danny, I’m having so much fun, I’m flying, this is like the fucking Notebook, I’m a fucking bird, tell me I’m a bird like the Notebook. You’re laughing hysterically at yourself and Eridan is fucking giggling at you and then he starts jumping too and you dance in circles with only the soundtrack of summer cicadas to keep a melody. You grab his hands and his fingers twine with yours and suddenly he’s falling and you’re bouncing your back against the trampoline, narrowly avoiding hitting your head as Eridan lands on top of you and bounces off but only after squishing the life out of you.

You’re laughing so hard no sound is coming out and you’re gasping and so is he and you grab his hand from where he’s laying beside you.

You look up at the stars. You haven’t seen the stars in over six weeks. You missed them.

“So, how are you, Y/N? I’m sure sorry that I couldn’t come an’ visit you.” You do the best shrug you can while lying down.

“Nobody was allowed to visit me, except in the ER.”

“Still, I should’ve come. Fef went. John went.”

“They’re the only ones that did.”

“Really?” His voice is incredulous.

“Everyone texted. Until I had to go to the psych ward. Then I wasn’t allowed texts anymore.”

“Yeah, I know.”

You don’t want to be sad anymore so you change the subject.

“Eridan?”

“Hm?”

“Are you going to fuck me later?” He chokes, a loud spluttering cough, and jerks up to lay on his arm, staring down at you.

“What?!”

“Sollux told me that you were going to.”

“God, oh fuck, he told me-he-he said-he told me you didn’t know!”

“I know.”

“Well, I know that now!”

“It’s okay. If you want to, I’m okay with it.”

“Okay with what?”

“You fucking me.”

His face flared red, which was a feat in and of itself because his skin was soft brown. He looked beautiful in the starlight: his eyes, a gorgeous golden-hazel with long, dark lashes, his nose sturdy and strong, his lips fairly thick and soft and most especially the freckle he had, on the left corner of his bottom lip. His hair fell in his face, dark brown and highlighted by a thick bleached streak in the front. He wasn’t just pretty, not just beautiful, he was gorgeous. You wouldn’t mind snagging his virginity. Not one bit.

“I don’t think-I mean-well-I-I-I want to but I just think that maybe we should wait on that.”

“Okay,” you say, staring into his eyes, fighting down a pang of disappointment, “But if Sollux asks, you can say you did.”

His eyes narrow a bit and then he’s nervously looking at anything but you.

“But I wanted to know. Could you, maybe-I don’t-just-kiss me?” You smile, a full grin with teeth showing an everything.

“Yes, Eridan.”

And then you get up to your knees and pull him up to meet you and your lips are together and his lips are soft, a bit firmer than you imagined, and they’re clumsy and he accidentally clips your teeth together. You wrap an arm over his shoulder and he puts his hands at your small waist, pressing on your hips with his fingertips. You reach your other hand down and take his. You guide it over your breast and his whole body stiffens. His fingers begin to itch around and grope at the soft flesh under his hand and you slip your lips down to his neck. He makes a noise that is a cross between a purr and a croon and you push him down beneath you. The two of you break apart and he stares up at you, fingers touching his swollen bottom lip like he can’t believe what just happened. You realize suddenly that you just bagged his first kiss. You gently kiss his cheek and roll off of his abdomen.

When you wake up in the morning, you’re inside on the couch with Eridan spooned up behind you. A shirtless Equius lays across the floor with Nepeta’s head on his belly. Terezi’s legs are sprawled across her chest. Everyone else is still asleep but you can feel Eridan start to stir behind you. He nuzzles into the crook of your neck and mumbles a quiet good morning into the skin.

“Morning.”

“Mm.”

“Eridan?”

“Hm?”

“Your stiffy’s digging into my back.”

“M’sorry.”

“S’okay.”

#eridan x reader #eridan ampora #homestuck #humanstuck #reader insert #fanfiction #depressed!reader #doll parts

130 notes · View notes

prince-ampora · 6 years ago

Text

Pollution~Erifef ♦️

INFO

-no game au

-semi sadstuck

-fefs quirk is hard to write with

-also shes sad and weak so she doesn't have the energy for her quirk

TRIGGER WARNINGS

-severe pollution

-mention of dead animals

-mention of genocide/violence

***

Eridan is getting ready to sleep in his recuperacoon when he checks his laptop one more time to see a message. It's from Feferi, so he answers immediately.

cuttlefishCuller began trolling caligulasAquarium

cC: eridan

cA: fef? wwhat do you need this late at night?

cC: eridan im sick

Eridan goes into full panic mode and hurriedly sends one last message, running out of his hive.

cA: I'm comin fef hang on

He whistles for his lusus and gets on, speeding under the waves. He pulls up to Feferi's hive to see tragedy. The fish have plastic wrapped around their fins, bottle caps in their mouths, and there are faygo bottles everywhere. Eridan rushes his way past them to get to Feferi's respite block. "Fef? Wwhere are you?" He hears coughing just past a random sea creature and gently pushes it out of the way. He can see Feferi floating around her computer, in rough shape. The gills in her neck are mostly clogged and her hair had plastic and other trash stuck in it. Her face is pale and she looks weak. Eridan's stomach turns with anger and worry. He quickly grabs Feferi and swims back to his Lusus, who takes them back to Eridan's hive. Feferi's chest heaves and she breathes with her lungs instead of her gills. Eridan carries her to a couch in his hive and she wraps herself in a blanket on the back of it. The surface is colder than the ocean at night.

Eridan tries to calm down and think of what to do. He gets a bottle of fresh water and a comb, as well as a vitamin. He returns to see Feferi sadly going through her hair with weak hands. "Fef, I'll do that, you take this." He hands her the water and vitamin and watches her swallow the pill. He sits on the coffee table. "Tell me what happened." He cleans her gills as she talks. "I heard some panic around one of the wriggler caves so I went to see what was wrong. When I got there, I saw one of the wrigglers with a plastic ring on it, and another with a bottlecap stuck in its mouth. I helped them and then went to the next set of caves but on the way, there was this huge area filled with so much trash. Plastic, cardboard, metal. Eridan there were so many dead fish. And oil, everywhere."

Eridan finishes cleaning her gills and grits his teeth, "Those fuckin land dwwellers. All they do is pollute wwhere wwe livve an make us sick. They shouldn't be allowwed to livve." "Eridan." "I knoww Fef." He moves to an end table and she puts her hair over the arm of the couch. Eridan takes the comb and slowly goes through his moirail's hair, trying not to hurt her. "Fef, I think you should stay wwith me for a wwhile." "What?" Eridan swallows his fear and continues his proposal. "I think the sea is gettin too bad too livve in. You should stay wwith me wwhile the drones make you a neww hivve." Feferi snaps her head around when the comb is out, "No, absolutely not! I can't just leave the sea!" Eridan's eyes plead, "Fef please! You got hurt, you got sick! You can't stay dowwn there!"

Feferi stands abruptly but falls down again. Luckily Eridan is fast enough to catch her. "See!?" Once Feferi is able to speak again, she says, "I can't. They need me. It's my home, I can't just leave." Eridan accepts defeat. "Wwell at least come up often?" Feferi takes Eridan's face in her hands, "Eridan. I know you're just worried about me. If it makes you feel better, I'll be more careful where I swim and I'll spend the weekends up here with you." Eridan places a hand on top of Feferi's, "Yes, thank you."

#homestuck #sadstuck #pollution #eridan ampora #feferi peixes #erifef #mention of dead animals #mention of mass violence #eridan's oneshots

17 notes · View notes

pesterloglog · 2 years ago

Text

Feferi Peixes, Jade Harley

Act 5, page 2991-2994

cuttlefishCuller [CC] began trolling gardenGnostic [GG]

CC: Glub glub glub glub glub!

GG: oh.............

GG: noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

CC: )(ey, take it easy!

CC: I'm not )(ere to give you a )(ard time like my buddies )(ave been.

GG: but youre a troll

GG: and thats what trolls do!

GG: even when they say they wont

GG: sometimes especially!!!!!!

CC: Ok t)(en, you can be t)(e judge of t)(at. I won't be long!

CC: I've just come to say a couple t)(ings.

CC: FIRST!

CC: None of t)(is is really your fault!

CC: T)(is is swimmingly obvious to everyone )(ere w)(o takes a glubbing moment to t)(ink about it rationally.

CC: W)(ic)( isn't many of us! But still.

GG: ok.....

GG: even though i still have no idea what youre talking about

CC: I mean, your lusus jumped rig)(t in t)(ere to save you!

CC: Just like mine did.

CC: Well ok, mine was dead at t)(e time. 38(

CC: And s)(e just kind of...

CC: F-ELL IN!

CC: Kinda drifted down like fis)(food, and POW, GL'BGOLYBSPRIT-E.

CC: )(e)(e)(e)(e)(e)(e)(. S)(e was so funny.

GG: whats a lusus!!!!!

CC: It's a big ol' monster custodian you grow up wit)(!

CC: S)(-E-ES)(, )(ow freaking retarded do you )(ave to be not to know somet)(ing like t)(at?

CC: I'm joking, of course. 38)

GG: :\

CC: I wanted to glub somet)(ing -ELS-E to you well before you started playing.

CC: Just to get t)(e idea in your )(ead!

CC: I am Feferi, by t)(e way. Abdicated empress to be!

GG: ok feferi. what is it?

CC: Soon I will go to sleep and speak to t)(e gods.

CC: I will convince t)(em to establis)( a series of stable dream bubbles, w)(ere we can meet in our sleep!

GG: i dont understand

GG: whats a dream bubble?

CC: YOU'LL S-E----------E! 38D

GG: ugh

GG: feferi i thought you said you were going to stop using your typing quirk!

CC: Did I?

CC: When??

GG: i dont know... im sure i remember you said that

CC: )(mm.

CC: Jade, t)(is is t)(e first time we )(ave ever talked!

CC: Isn't it???

GG: oh

GG: yeah it is

GG: i dont know what i was thinking....

GG: i just had a major case of deja vu!

CC: W)(at's t)(at?

GG: i felt like we already had this conversation

GG: actually

GG: it still sort of feels that way

GG: its not going away :o

CC: Well, maybe we did!

CC: )(ey, by t)(e way.

CC: W)(at exactly are you doing t)(ere wit)( t)(at toy?

CC: You never did explain it to me!

GG: ummm

GG: what do you mean i never explained it to you?

GG: if this really is the first time we talked, why would i have?

CC: Good point.

CC: Maybe I'm feeling it too.

CC: I )(ave... w)(at was it? Orca vu?

GG: XO

GG: feferi that one was a stretch even by your fish punnery standards

GG: aaah why do i know that you like to make fish puns???

CC: 38?

GG: actually

GG: i do remember this conversation

GG: it was in the past!

GG: but if it was in the past, then where am i now?

CC: In the future! Duh.

GG: so what is going on?

GG: i dont think i am asleep....

GG: i am not on prospit

CC: Yes, you are asleep. But your dream self died, just like mine, remember?

GG: oh...

GG: vaguely

CC: Now you don't dream about Prospit. You have normal dreams!

GG: so this is a dream?

CC: It is a dream, and a memory. It is the past, brought back to life by a witch! It's all those things.

CC: Although we are getting off the script here!

CC: This is not how the conversation originally went, obviously.

CC: You were a lot less patient with me! When I was just trying to ENCOURAGE you.

GG: sorry

GG: i think

GG: i am in the game now, right?

CC: Sure!

CC: Hey, why don't you tell me about this cool robot bunny you we're making?

CC: I've been pretty glubbing curious about it!

CC: Mind if I take a look?

GG: um

CC: It's great!

CC: Wish I could make something like this. Never had the gills for technology.

CC: Hard to work with under water!

GG: why are you here!

GG: are you asleep too?

CC: Nope!

CC: I woke up from my nap a while ago.

CC: Remember how I woke up and then messaged you? You had just had a bad dream!

CC: And I told you there was nothing to be scared of.

CC: Which there isn't!

GG: oh yeah

GG: i do remember that

GG: then why are you here now?

CC: Because, stupid.

CC: I'M D------EAD!

#homestuck #feferi peixes #jade harley #homestuck act 5 #page 2991 #page 2992 #page 2993 #page 2994 #homestuck act 5 act 2

0 notes

living-lucid-dream · 7 years ago

Text

Happy 4/13!

It’s been a long time since I’ve done anything Homestuck-related. What better day to change that than today? What I’m trying to say is: here, have some random snippets from a maybe-sequel to Straw Soldiers.

> Vriska: Distress call

arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC]

AG: Terezi!!!!!!!! AG: Thank fuck you are online 8ecause I am having a serious crisis. AG: I’m talking all hands on deck, all points 8ulletin sort of 8ullshit. AG: Terezi? AG: Come on, will you SAY SOMETHING already? AG: This is an emergency and you are my only chance at keeping everything from going to complete shit. AG: I swear to god I am not exagger8ing when I say that I am fucking dying here!!!!!!!! GC: HUH GC: TH4TS STR4NG3 GC: MY NOS3 DO3S NOT D3T3CT 3V3N TH3 F41NT3ST WH1FF OF D3C4Y1NG FL3SH GC: 1T 1S P1CK1NG UP ON3 H3FTY P1L3 OF M3LODR4M4 THOUGH >:/ AG: OK, OK. So may8e I’m not dying right this second—8ut I will 8e if you don’t do something for me, and I mean pronto. GC: UH-HUH GC: 4ND WH4T 3X4CTLY 1S TH1S 4LL3G3DLY L1F3 S4V1NG M4N3UV3R YOU 3XP3CT M3 TO DO? AG: First, I need you to answer something for me. GC: OK, SHOOT AG: How long have we known each other, exactly? GC: 1 DUNNO GC: F1V3, S1X SW33PS? GC: WHY? AG: Five or six sweeps. Practically our whole lives! AG: I mean, 8y now we’re pretty much o8lig8ed to help each other out in times of dire need and you’ve got to know that I wouldn’t ask for help with anything unless I was really, truly desper8. GC: UGH, TH3 M3LODR4M4 GC: 1T BURNS! AG: Hey, I am 8eing totally serious! AG: Geeeeeeeez, Pyrope. I come here hoping to get a little help from my lifelong 8osom 8uddy and all you can do is give me a 8unch of salty attitude. AG: If that’s the way you’re going to 8e then may8e I won’t 8other to ask you for anything after all. GC: JUST T3LL M3 WH4T YOU W4NT AG: Now that’s the spirit! AG: All right. So the thing I’m going to ask you to do may not sound like much, 8ut 8elieve me it is a very 8ig deal. AG: I need you to talk some sense into Peixes for me. GC: >:? GC: 4BOUT WH4T? AG: Somehow she got it into her pan that it would 8e a good idea to make me go all the fuck 8ack to Alternia and pick up Tav8utt and wonder clown. AG: I’ve tried reasoning with her 8ut she is 8eing a stu88orn 8rat and pulling rank on me. GC: SORRY TO S4Y 1T BUT 1 F41L TO S33 HOW 4NY OF TH4T QU4L1F13S 4S L1F3 4ND D34TH AG: Trust me, it is. GC: HOW SO? AG: 8ecause I will die of 8oredom! AG: Can you even imagine me, stuck on a ship for god knows how long with no8ody 8ut Toreasnore and Gamzee for company? AG: 8oriiiiiiiing! AG: I mean, the two of them don’t have a pair of 8rain cells 8etween them! GC: 1 4M SUR3 YOU W1LL SURV1V3 AG: What? So you’re not going to do anything at all to help me???????? AG: I’ve seen you do some pretty ruthless shit, 8ut releg8ing your good friend to dork squad shuttle service? AG: That’s cold ::::( GC: 1 4M SUR3 1T WONT B3 TH4T B4D GC: B3S1D3S 1 TH1NK 1T W1LL B3 GOOD FOR YOU GC: GR34T FOR BU1LD1NG CH4R4CT3R 4ND 4LL TH4T J4ZZ AG: “8uilding character” my ass. You just want to see me suffer. GC: ME? N3V3R >;] GC: H4V3 4 S4F3 TR1P GC: OH, 4ND DON’T TORM3NT T4VROS TOO MUCH AG: You know I will ::::p

arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC]

> Future Vriska: Distress call

arachnidsGrip [AG] opened memo EMERGENCY READ NOW!!!!!!!!

arachnidsGrip [AG] invited apocalypseArisen [AA] to memo arachnidsGrip [AG] invited twinArmageddons [TA] to memo arachnidsGrip [AG] invited carcinoGeneticist [CG] to memo arachnidsGrip [AG] invited arsenicCatnip [AC] to memo arachnidsGrip [AG] invited grimAuxiliatrix [GA] to memo arachnidsGrip [AG] invited gallowsCalibrator [GC] to memo arachnidsGrip [AG] invited centaursTesticle [CT] to memo arachnidsGrip [AG] invited caligulasAquarium [CA] to memo arachnidsGrip [AG] invited cuttlefishCuller [CC] to memo

AG: Come on, you useless 8unch of laya8outs! Get your asses in here! AG: Aaauuuuuuuugh! Where is every8ody???????? AG: Is this not getting through to any of you? AG: Fuck it, I can’t tell so I’m doing this regardless. AG: My ship has 8een attacked. AG: There have 8een losses and no, I am not detailing what those losses are right here 8ecause this is humili8ing enough as it is. AG: The long and short of it is: I’m stranded and I have no idea where the hell I am exactly 8ut I do know that I am drifting somewhere 8etween Earth and Alternia. AG: I am pretty sure I can safely classify the situ8ion as “in dire need of a relief shuttle right fucking now.” AG: Hello? AG: Is any8ody getting this???????? AG: Come on, some8ody ANSW8R ME, ALR8DY! AG: G8DDAMN 8T!!!!!!!!

arachnidsGrip [AG] left memo

> John: Pester Dave

ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG]

EB: dave! EB: you there, buddy? TG: yo EB: geez, you’ve been mia for like four days now. Where the heck have you been? TG: shit dude TG: ive been laying lower than a teenage mutant ninja turtle chilling in the new york sewer TG: slinking around like the stealth phantom lovechild of batman and solid snake EB: oh. so the paparazzi are after you too, huh? TG: yeah EB: that sucks. TG: eh TG: for a while i was thinking about mooning them just to see how hard they pissed themselves trying to go all national geographic on my ass TG: then i realized that there was like an eighty billion percent certainty that my ass would just end up getting trotted out on fucking tmz or some shit TG: now national enquirer TG: i would be down with seeing my ass on the front page of such a fine publication TG: but tmz TG: no way TG: daytime tv is not ready for the strider ass TG: so me and aradia gave them the slip and they fell for it harder than bambi on ice TG: havent seen one of those fuckers in almost a week now EB: lucky! they’re all over me and karkat. EB: seriously, it’s like a freaking lightning storm every time i open the front door! EB: it was kind of funny at first but now it’s just…ugh. EB: hey, wait a sec! EB: you said you were with aradia? what are you guys doing? TG: we are going full-on magical mystery tour to find all the weird ass dead things the good old usa has to offer TG: we already hit up the mutter museum TG: it was the shit TG: never saw so many dead things in jars all in one place TG: made my collection look like some messy amateur shit TG: like their stuff is triple black diamond pucker up and kiss your ass goodbye caliber and my stuff barely even qualifies as a bunny slope for toddlers TG: oh and aradia and i pooled our cash and adopted a skull because who doesnt want to say that they are the proud daddy of a newborn 200 hundred year-old skull EB: jesus, sometimes i forget how weird you guys are. TG: hey the strider cool cocktail might not go with everything but at least its never boring TG: anyways im pretty sure we are going to be creeping around your neck of the woods in a couple of weeks TG: we should hang if you and karkat are going to be around EB: cool! EB: we’ll be here. EB: unless karkat’s got one of his pt sessions. EB: but then we’ll be back in like two hours, so yes! we’ll be here. TG: speaking of vantas TG: how is shouty mcqueen doing these days TG: that guys been more elusive than a shiny pokemon since you guys got home EB: he’s fine. EB: he just has a hard time with typing. and tying his shoes. and…lots of things, actually. TG: shit TG: i thought they said his hands were fixed EB: depends on the they you’re talking to, i guess. EB: terezi brought him a new phone, though. EB: it has voice-to-text for english and alternian. EB: jade and sollux made it for him, or at least i think that’s what terezi said when she gave it to him. EB: my alternian still sucks so i’m not sure. EB: anyways we’re about to have breakfast now so i should probably go. TG: ok TG: later ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG]

> Future John: Pester Dave

ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG]

EB: dave! EB: are you there, buddy? EB: dave, come on. EB: this isn’t funny. EB: you’re really freaking me out here. EB: dave, please. EB: you need to answer me now! EB: jesus christ.

ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG]

> Future Karkat: Contact loving matesprit

carcinoGenticist [CG] began trolling gallowsCalibrator [CG]

CG: OK, YOU’VE HAD YOUR FUN. CG: NOW WIPE THAT SHIT-EATING GRIN OFF YOUR FACE AND STOP THIS BULLFUCKERY RIGHT NOW. CG: I KNOW THIS DISTANCE MATESPRITSHIP THING SUCKS HARDER THAN THE MOTHER GRUB’S SLURRY ACCEPTING ORIFICE. CG: BUT IF THIS ISN’T WORKING FOR YOU THEN YOU NEED TO TELL ME INSTEAD OF, YOU KNOW, IGNORING ME FOR TWO WEEKS. CG: JESUS FUCK, TEREZI. CG: I’D EXPECT THAT SORT OF SHIT-RINSING PISSBABY WAY OF HANDLING THINGS FROM PAST ME BECAUSE PAST ME IS A PAIL-SWILLING FUCKWIT WITH THE FANTASTIC ABILITY TO MAGICALLY LOSE HIS GLOBES WHEN SHIT GETS REAL. CG: BUT NOT FROM YOU. CG: I DON’T EVEN KNOW IF YOU OR SOLLUX ARE ALIVE BECAUSE GUESS WHAT? CG: NEITHER ONE OF YOU HAVE DEIGNED TO SEND ME SO MUCH AS A “HI, KARKAT JUST POPPING A SQUAT TO SHIT OUT THIS TURD OF A MESSAGE SO YOU CAN STOP WORRYING THAT WE BOTH DID SOMETHING PAN-NUMBINGLY STUPID LIKE DROWN IN THE LOAD GAPER; TALK TO YOU LATER YOU FART-BRAINED IGNORAMUS.” CG: THERE. CG: SEE? CG: WAS THAT SO HARD? CG: HELPFUL HINT: EVEN THE FART-BRAINED IGNORAMUS WITHOUT FUNCTIONING OPPOSABLE THUMBS MANAGED IT IN A SPHINCTER-RANKLING 60 SECONDS. CG: I GET THAT YOU AND SOLLUX ARE BUSY ON FEFERI’S FREE THE HELMSMEN CRUSADE AND YEAH, IT’S KIND OF A BIG FUCKING DEAL. CG: AND I GET THAT COMPLAINING ABOUT IT MAKES ME LOOK LIKE A SELFISH, BULGE-FLAPPING ASSHOLE. CG: BUT BEING THE PARANOID FUCKTARD WHO SEES SUPER EXCITING TORTURE FUNTIMES WITH CONDESCE AND FRIENDS ON INFINITE REPEAT EVERY FUCKING TIME I CLOSE MY EYES, I’M STARTING TO GET THIS NUB-TICKLING IDEA THAT SOMETHING MIGHT BE WRONG. CG: I KNOW IT’S STUPID AND I’M PROBABLY STOMPING INTO PALE TERRITORY WITH A PAIR OF STEEL TOE COMBAT BOOTS WITH “FUCK YOU CAPTOR” EMBLAZONED ON THE TREADS BY SAYING IT, BUT THERE IT IS. CG: THE STINKING SHIT PELLET OF TRUTH HAS DROPPED AND IT CANNOT RETURN TO THE WASTE CHUTE FROM WHENCE IT WAS PINCHED. CG: TEREZI, PLEASE. CG: JUST TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON.

CarcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC]

> to be continued...(?)

#Homestuck #4/13 #Straw Soldiers #Homestuck fanfiction #Vriska #Terezi #John Egbert #Dave Strider #Karkat #Wow pesterlog formatting looks terrible on tumblr #it may not be 4/13 anymore for most of you out there #but there's still one hour left in my neck of the woods #so this still counts!#my stuff #my fic

3 notes · View notes