#check the notes for my addition on poly relationships!!

[megamindsupremacy]

My take is that if you’re going to break up a happy healthy committed straight ship to make room for a gay one (or vice versa, but lbr the former happens more often in fandom) then you HAVE to keep the characters’ insanity for each other intact. Like ok yes sure we can handwave “it was a different time and we were younger and now that things are settled it’s for the best that we split” sure whatever BUT! I will not accept these guys becoming ambivalent to each other. You MUST maintain the fact that they would absolutely kill someone if the other asks. if you take away the romantic attraction then the years of history and emotion remain and now instead of kissing each other the blorbos just have to be really intense about their ex’s health and safety instead.

[safetycar-restart]

KINKTOBER DAY 1: FREE USE [POLY!LOGAN/OSCAR/READER]

NOTE: this is an nsfw imagine with Dom!reader, sub!logan and sub!oscar. If you are under 18 or uninterested in this, scroll past. If you think you might like it, then click read more and maybe come check out the rest of my blog :))

Every day of October I’ll be posting a different kinky concept with one or more motorsports people as well as discussing that concept more on my blog. So if you have any thoughts, feel free to stop by!

It’s no secret that Logan’s season hasn’t been going the best, and you’ve tried your best to make him feel better but there’s not much more you could do.

As far as the public was concerned, you were in a relationship with Oscar and only Oscar. Which meant you could only sit in Oscar’s garage, could only give Oscar a kiss before he gets in the car, could only hug Oscar when he gets back.

You wish you could sit in the Williams garage and give Logan a hug when he gets out the car, wait for him in his driver room to praise him and make sure he isn’t being too hard on himself. But unfortunately you have to wait until you reach Oscar’s hotel room and meet him there.

This continues for a few weeks and you can see how sad Logan is getting, isolating himself from you and Oscar, no longer asking for attention as much as he used to. He clings to you when you do hug him, whines when he thinks you might turn him away but he doesn’t seek it out anymore.

Oscar has noticed the same, and he’s worried. Logan even chose to sit out on a planned scene, so you knew it was getting too bad. And you needed to get creative to make him feel better.

And the solution? A free use day.

When you suggest it to Logan, he’s confused, asking what you mean, how that would work. He immediately thinks it would be Oscar that’s free use.

And you explain to him that no, you’d like a day when you can touch him however you want, where Oscar can kiss him and ride him whenever, a day at home where he’s just a play thing for his Dom and his boyfriend.

And well…. That certainly sounds like someone he would like.

He almost doesn’t believe it at first? Because why would you and Oscar want that? Why would you want him to touch him so much that you want an entire day for it?

It ends up being exactly what he needs.

And Oscar is so so excited for it. Oscar gets to be as possessive as he wants, refusing to let Logan out of his arms, whining until Logan kisses him and pushing him down to ride him because he’s Oscar’s to play with.

Logan is so overwhelmed with how much love he gets? He wakes up to you stroking his hair and Oscar sucking his cock, ends up crying out and spilling into Oscar’s mouth. You hold him close after, letting Oscar clean him up before joining you two in bed.

Logan gets about ten minutes to recover because you decide he should return the favour for Oscar, and he’s more than happy with that.

He spends the entire day between you and Oscar, getting touched and fucked and held close and he just lets it happen. He’s so so happy, feeling like a real part of the relationship not just an additive.

You do a scene with the two of them that night, and task oscar with kissing every inch of Logan before gently working a plug in him. You stroke Logan’s cock and push the plug in out, having your fun with him while his mouth is full of Oscar’s cock.

By the end they’re both so tired, especially Logan who has cum so many times by this point. You have to half carry them both to the bath, washing them down and putting them to bed early.

Logan wakes up the next day happier than he’s been in a long long time.

[kiestrokes]

Say My Name | Teaser | NSFW

Pairing: fratboy!Song Mingi x Reader/You/Yn Rating: NSFW. Mature (18+) Minors DNI.Genre: smut, fluff, mild angst. Warnings: consensual peer pressure, high school sweetheart breakups, college, frat boys, parties, everyone is 21 or older so no underage drinking among the main characters. Reminder this is just a wip teaser, and not the final product. Parts are subject to change in the end.

Sexually Explicit Content: eluding to an open relationship/poly!Wooyoung x Yunho x Reader nothing else for the teaser, but there will be an explicit smut scene so, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT.

Summary: You and Yunho have been childhood best friends since your mothers grew up together, living in different towns but spending all the holidays together. The friendship has always been light and easy, never serious. Reconnecting in college and exploring each other in new ways. After a second breakup with your high school sweetheart, Yunho propositions you to break your dry spell with his new fraternity brother transfer and high school friend Song Mingi. How could you say no?

🗝️ Note: Because if I never post this teaser, I will never get this fic out. This is me, holding me, accountable. ANYWAY like so many of my fic ideas this was pushed lovingly forward by @chans-room. As I couldn't shut up about the Booty Werk Yunho/Woo dance. I did write it in part to wreck gift to @minisugakoobies they have a fratboy!Hongjoong fic you all should check out. Sunny and @minttangerines were kind enough to beta it for me when I felt stuck last month, and I have added some additional parts that I hope make the fic feel more well-rounded and substantial.

Disclaimers: This is a work of fiction; I do not own any of the idols depicted below.

Posting Date: 10/18/2023 • Part 2 Teaser

You hadn’t added anyone new to your friend group since sophomore year when your childhood friend Yeosang had showed up at your University with Wooyoung. Which felt like forever ago but had only been three semesters. The two had taken their first semester abroad in the German exchange program.

Even then, none of your friends had ever had sex with just you. Sure, Wooyoung got drunk at parties and enjoyed making out with any of you that were willing and dancing dirty all over the sticky frat or sorority floors. 

Frat president Hongjoong was definitely not among the willing. He’d frozen up like a board when Wooyoung planted a sloppy kiss on him during his election celebration. 

Speaking of the devil, Kim Hongjoong was sauntering up to your table, with a wicked smile on his lips. Oh no. 

“Yunho told me you were finally single and ready to Mingle.” Hongjoong fixed you with a reading stare and challenging smirk. 

“HJ, not today.” You groan. 

He slides onto the table top, “no not today, but next Friday.” He plucks a fry from your dwindling order. 

You naw on your bottom lip, as Yunho approaches with Seonghwa. It seemed Hongjoong had escaped them in order to harass you first. 

“Are they coming?” Seonghwa asked excitedly, slipping his black hoodie off one shoulder to expose a black tank top below. 

You look up and right into the puppy dog eyes of Yunho, “We have another surprise for you.”

Wooyoung squeezes your elbow and with the deepest sigh you consent. 

“Fine, I’ll be there and Yeosang will too.”

“What?” Yeosang’s head whips to you from where he was slipping into the bench beside Wooyoung. 

“I’ll explain later.” Wooyoung taps his arm as Yeosang continues to bounce a confused stare from you to the frat boys across from you. 

“Lovely!” Hongjoong claps his hands together excitedly, like the mad magician he is. 

© COPYRIGHT 2021 - 2024 by kiestrokes All rights reserved. No portion of this work may be reproduced without written permission from the author. This includes translations.

[cc-nadama]

A Modern Retelling of Viktor

Author’s Note: This style of writing is not representative of my usual work. These are my notes for what I imagine is a modern portrayal of Viktor. In addition, it serves as an outline for future stories I may write that are set in this au. Below, you will find my thoughts and headcanons on the subject.

Expected Content: There are no sexual imagery depicted in this work. However, there are themes of obsession, unhealthy working habits, stalking, and quite possibly, a hint of yandere Viktor.

Pairing: There are multiple relationships mentioned/implied in this work. I will certainly explore my options, perhaps even create poly pairings. However, the main course includes: Viktor x reader, Jayce x Viktor, and Jayce x Mel.

———

Viktor Petrov

— AN OVERVIEW

When he received a scholarship and admittance to the California Institute of Technology (Caltech), Viktor traveled to the United States on a student visa. He is currently majoring in Engineering and Applied Science, with a minor in aerospace engineering.

Originally from the Czech Republic, Viktor is fluent in three languages: Czech, English, and Russian. He had never traveled outside Europe before, so his first months in the States were filled with homesickness. Luckily, there was a place a little ways away from campus that serves decent bramboráky and trdelník. It’s a bit overpriced, but it helped ease his heart when he missed home.

Everyone who knows Viktor swears he is a genius. One look at his GPA and any Asian mother would weep and wish her kid was like him (totally not based on personal experience).

Once he finishes his education at Caltech, Viktor will most likely look for a job at NASA. He aspires to specialize in robotics and work with other complicated machinery—especially if it is space-related.

Viktor lives a few miles away from campus. Jayce Talis, his charismatic roommate, is also a student at the university. He has the same major and classes as Viktor, so they are often together on and off campus.

— PERSONALITY

Viktor is an introvert, but he is not unfriendly. He will engage in class and interact with the other students, but he chooses to keep friendships minimal. It is his choice to be alone, not his lack of socialization. Well, at least that’s what he tells himself to sleep easier at night.

Naturally, Viktor has a rational and objective mind. When he speaks, it is very articulated and blunt, never withholding an ounce of sarcasm when allowed. Oftentimes, people view him as an insensitive or callous man—though it’s mainly because he keeps his emotions checked.

He has a strong work ethic. Viktor is the kind of student to work on a project five months earlier. Almost always, the man is seen in the library studying until midnight, replaying his recordings from the latest lecture to add to his notes.

Speaking of notes, Viktor is a stickler for notes. Even with his unreadable handwriting, it remains meticulous and detailed. He even draws diagrams! Because of this, many of his classmates would borrow his notes—only to learn that they could barely make out a word, let alone a phrase.

When Viktor feels especially sociable, he loves to engage others in spirited debates. He loves a good challenge, specifically if it tests his intellect and reasoning. Whatever the topic is—from scientific to philosophical—Viktor always has a stance. He has an aura of subtle confidence, self-assured in his ways but not to the point of egotism.

In simpler terms, Viktor has Type A tendencies with a 5w4 on the enneagram and an INTJ on the Myers-Briggs

— FLAWS

It is difficult for him to maintain a relationship—platonic or romantic. Oftentimes, Viktor believes it is implausible for someone to like him as a person. He has experienced rejection plenty of times before, so he feels it necessary to end a relationship before it blossoms, fearing that the other person already hates him or is only with him for undisclosed intentions. Although Viktor hates irrationality, he still has irrational fears based from past experiences.

If there is one flaw he is often in conflict with, it’s his discipline. He may be a genius, but Viktor still has trouble setting his limitations. It is an obsessive need that overtakes him—an inkling he cannot exactly ignore. If he feels compelled to work later into the night, he will. If he feels he needs ten shots of espresso, he will buy and drink it. If he feels he has a crush on a certain student, he most likely would… stalk them.

Oftentimes, if left unchecked, his ambitions would blind him. Due to his obsessive tendencies, Viktor would pour all his attention into work and research, neglecting his state of being. If he ever took a break, it was most likely because he was starving, parched, or needed to use the bathroom. Still, it could take days, even weeks, before he returns to sanity and society.

— RELATIONSHIPS

JAYCE TALIS: If they weren’t roommates, Viktor would have never befriended him. Everyone on campus knows Jayce—he is a literal social butterfly—always liked by most students and teachers. Still, Jayce remains a constant in his life. They have partnered on several projects and received stellar reviews. It is obvious that the two of them are great friends. Viktor would never admit it, but Jayce is one of the few people in his life that he actually likes and trusts.

PROFESSOR HEIMERDINGER: Even if the professor won’t say it, everyone knows that Viktor is his favorite. He goes out of his way to support him, always wanting to know what wonderful contraption he has built as of late.

MEL MEDARDA: Initially, only acquaintances, Viktor and Mel later became friends due to their relationship with Jayce. After hours, Mel would drop by the apartment and hang out with Jayce while also displaying an interest in Viktor and his studies. Their relationship is more akin to a sibling relationship, like an older sister and a kid brother.

READER: Another student in Caltech who takes the same classes as him. Within a matter of days, Viktor became infatuated with you. Every time you entered the lecture hall, you could see the man stiffen in his seat—blankly staring at you then embarrassingly looking away. It was sweet, knowing that you had caught his attention. Not many of your classmates could say the same thing. Viktor was quiet during class, only speaking unless spoken to or if he was keen on answering a question. Yet, it came as a surprise to you when you received a single rose on your doorstep—you never told anyone about your address.

— INTERESTS

Even as a kid, Viktor loved Star Trek. He dreamt about the plausibility of interstellar travel and the intricacies of warp drive. He spent nights imagining himself working in the engineering deck and tinkering with transporters. Almost single-handedly, the franchise inspired him to become an engineer—to work with the complexities of science and invent something anew. If he had to pick a character as his favorite, Viktor would select—without a doubt—Lieutenant Commander Data. His ongoing arc of seeking human connection in spite of his inability to understand human emotion—was what endeared Viktor. In many ways, he had the same troubles as the android. People viewed him differently because of his disability and brilliance. Like Data, their uniqueness was both a gift and a curse.

If he has no plans for the weekend, Viktor would spend his day playing chess against himself or Jayce. Naturally, they would take turns being white, often forgoing the use of a timer—unless they were feeling competitive that day—and play a few games while talking about life. If Viktor was playing white, he often opens with a pawn on e4 and then implements the first moves of the Spanish Opening (knight on f3 and bishop on b5). If Viktor was playing black, he would use the Tarrasch Variation of the French Defense, with 1. e4 e6, 2. d4 d5, 3. Nd2 c5. Although it is not exactly aggressive, Viktor focuses more on positional play.

(I am not a chess player, but I watched a few videos from GothamChess and live feeds from Magnus Carlsen and Hikaru Nakamura for research)

His taste in music varies on his mood. However, Viktor favors the classical and contemporary genres the most. He is especially fond of composers such as Tchaikovsky and Chopin, and jazz musicians such as Stan Getz and David Benoit. He does experiment with other genres, but faithfully, he returns to his favorites after a long day in the laboratory.

———

[fateinyoureyes]

✧ Request Guidelines for Fanfiction ✧

🌙 General Info:

Want to send me a request for something, go ahead and send me a dm and we can talk about your request! Just check out my fandoms and everything below for more information.

🔮 What I Will Write:

Character X Reader (Either Male or Gender Neutral Reader)

Canon Ships (Depending on Fandom and my comfortability)

Angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, slow burn, smut (we can talk about kinks privately for the story).

AUs (modern, fantasy, etc)

Series

Poly relationships

Headcanons, drabbles, full fics, SMAUs, and Fake Texts.

I can do pregnancy and parent character and family aus too.

🚫What I Won't Write:

Non-con/dub-con

Incest, pedophilia, abuse gloficiation

Political or religious fics

Crossovers (unless previously discussed OR talked about it privately.)

📝 Request Format:

When you are sending a request in, please include:

Character(s) Name and Fandom:

Any specific traits you want the reader to have:

Tone (Fluff, angst, etc):

Prompt of Scenario (Please be as detailed as you'd like):

Format (Headcanons, full fics, SMAUs and Fake Texts):

Any triggers to avoid:

Would you like to be anonymous if so would you like to take an emoji?:

Anything else you would like too add:

✨ Additional Notes:

I will read every single request and message you as we discuss the request. I will let you know if I will or won't be able to do your request of if I have to twerk it.

I do write at my own pace, so please be patient and kind with that.

My DMs are always open, so feel free to message me if you're unsure about your idea.

I look forward to hearing about your future requests.

🌟 Fandoms:

• F1 🏎️

• F2 🏎️

• Indy500 🏎️

• NASCAR🏎️

• Marvel 🦸‍♂️

• DC 🦇

• Riverdale 🐍

• Harry Potter ⚡

• Marauders 🦉

• Stranger Things 🎧

• Criminal Minds 🔍

• The Rookie 🚓

• Percy Jackson 🏛️

• Star Wars ☄️

Back to my info post

Back to my masterlist

Back to my who I will write for

[linoxpudding]

📌 Fic Request Guidelines

Hello, puddings! Welcome to my writing blog. Before sending in a request, please take a moment to read through my guidelines to ensure that your request aligns with what I write. 🫶

❌ What I Do Not Write:

NSFW/Smut – This is a SFW blog, so I will not be writing explicit content.

Male Reader – I primarily write for fem!reader and gn!reader.

Poly Relationships – I only write one-on-one relationships involving the reader.

SKZ Member x Member Ships – I do not write fics where the members are romantically involved with each other. My writing is focused on reader-insert content.

Sibling Tropes – I won’t be accepting requests involving sibling dynamics, including step-siblings.

Race/Ethnicity-Specific Descriptions – My reader inserts are written to be inclusive, so I won’t write requests that specify a certain race or ethnicity for the reader.

Body Image-Specific Descriptions – I do not write requests that focus on body types (e.g., “tall,” “skinny,” etc.). I aim to keep my writing as inclusive as possible.

Highschool/College/University Au - I might write it in future if I find inspiration, but I won't be taking requests for this.

Su*cide/SA - or any self harm related fics.

✅️ What I Do Write:

I create a variety of content, including:

Fake Texts

Written Fics (short & long)

A mix of Fake Texts + Written Fics

Headcanons

Blurbs

Drabbles

I primarily write SFW content that includes:

Fluff, Angst, & Romance

AU (Alternate Universe) Concepts

Requests that align with my comfort zone and personal writing style

✍️ WIP List

Curious about what I’m currently working on? You can find my upcoming fics here.

⚠️ Additional Notes:

Be Respectful – Please respect my boundaries. If a request doesn’t fit my guidelines, I will not write it. I might also not write it if I don't feel inspired.

Be Clear – When requesting, provide enough details so I can understand what you’re looking for.

Fandom – I only write for SKZ and will not be accepting requests for other groups or fandoms at this time.

Be Patient – If you request a fic, please check the upcoming fics page to see if your request is there, if it's not updated within a week of you sending the request, you can inquire about it.

Thank you for reading! Feel free to send in requests that fit these guidelines. I appreciate your support! Love you all 💜

[voxofthevoid]

Re: the person who had a hissy fit about your fic on AO3 not having the tags they wanted... these people DO understand that tags are a courtesy, right? Like, you don't HAVE to tag anything at all. It's a COURTESY that writers tag as much as they do, and if there's something that the reader is particularly bothered by, even if it isn't explicitly tagged for, then assume it has it! Don't assume it's safe!

VERY GOOD QUESTION!

Honestly, no, I don't think they understand. Or bother to. I'm not expecting anyone to memorize the ToS, but it'd sure be nice if people would at least check the tagging FAQ before showing their entire unwashed ass in the comment section. To be clear, I'm talking about entitled demands and other nonsense, including weird guilt-tripping bullshit and attempts at peer pressure. Polite requests and dialogue are encouraged by the archive itself, though individual mileage may vary.

A general rundown, not directed at anon but for those unfamiliar with Ao3's content policy: The archive leaves damn near everything to author discretion. Some things are mandatory, like accurate language, fandom tag, rating, and main warnings—the latter two, however, can be opted out of via "Not Rated" and "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings," respectively. Even if you make a mistake in these, Ao3 will contact you first, and if you don't respond, they may recategorize or hide a work; they have specific policies for this too, which can be found in the FAQ linked above. Point is, the entire Additional Tags field is optional. So are the character, relationship, etc. fields. You are fully allowed to tag as much or as little as you want.

From the reader end, a lack of information is also information; it lets you know what the author is willing to tell you before you enter a story. If, for instance, you want to avoid all underage fics, don't touch stories tagged with "Underage" or "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings."

I'm fond of extensive tag usage, but it's this freedom to tag how you want that I value more. It accommodates all kinds of writers and readers: the minimalists and the ramblers, the risk-takers and the cautious. Both what's there and what's not there are telling. Having preferences for how tags work is one thing, but dear god, the entitlement you see these days is something else.

The reason I switched to using Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings was that I kept seeing people say that writers using "Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings" for stories regardless of the content was denying them fics they had a right to. Fucking fuck that. I stopped tagging top/bottom for a similar reason, though connected directly to hypocrisy rather than entitlement alone.

What I've been seeing, both in my comments and in general fandom spaces, is an increasing number of people who want their specific tagging tastes or expectations to be followed by all writers. The writers' own choices don't matter; it's all about catering to some rando without the manners god gave an algae.

The most egregious instance of it I've experienced was on a recent fic where I went out of my way to explain the sexual and romantic split in an unbalanced poly ship and still got people bitching (among other things) that they couldn't be arsed to expand a drop-down tag in the author's notes.

It's like the more you try to accommodate people, the more entitled they get. I used to add tags or even tweak bits of phrasing to make my readers as comfortable as possible. All that got me was increasing demands and entitlement. I've seen others share similar experiences. I take it as a learning experience in establishing and enforcing my own tagging habits and boundaries, but the entire atmosphere pisses me off.

The vast majority of readers are perfectly nice and polite. The minority comprised of pissrags are, however, loud and prone to ruining fandom as a whole. I'd say we're seeing the effects at the pan-fandom level right now, judging by fandom spaces I frequent.

...This got obscenely long. Oops. Sorry, anon! I've been pent up about this recently.

[shadowynn]

| the paradigm complex | five |

pairing: ot8 ateez x fem! reader

genre: yandere!vampire!cult!poly! ateez au

warnings: yandere behavior, some cursing, mentions of violence, manipulation, toxic relationships, mentions of blood

(also, wanted to run over one last warning/disclaimer/important note (??) but i just wanted to state for the record somewhere, that while consent might seem a bit dubious at times in this work, i want to make it clear that sexual consent will never be anything but absolutely clear. while, i don't plan on making any of my works very nsfw, things may be hinted towards at times. and though it's very clear that the relationships in this story are anything but healthy and people may be a bit grabby at times, consent will always be given. (and good, clear consent, not manipulated consent) just wanted to stick this in somewhere in case this is something that is triggering for you. if, and when, the reader sleeps with anyone in this work, they will do so fully consenting in their right mind.)

wordcount: 11.7k

a/n: okay, okay, first thing, first. go up and read the additional warning up above if you skipped it and ended up here. just an important note i wanted to talk about before this chapter. if you're done there, then the next thing i want to say is that i apologize for all the eurovision references in this part. i started writing this part shortly after the competition this year and couldn't stop myself from adding them in. if you're interested in which songs they are, i'll add a link here at the end of this with the playlist i pretty much listened to the whole time writing this chapter and imagine mc's hype up playlist to be. other than that, i guess i just want to once more thank you all for your support and love. i'm always so blown away by you all and could never express just how thankful i am for you all. as always, i hope you enjoy. <33

mc's hypelist

| four | five | six |

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

At first, you believed it to just be your anxiety getting the better of you, growing worse as Monday went on and crept closer to the time your ex-boyfriend would find the letter you left him. It wasn’t unnatural for you to feel sick when you were stressed, but it was never anything more than some mild nausea that passed once your nerves had settled. Not only did your nausea persist throughout the day and into the night, but it was slowly accompanied by a fever, uncontrollable chills, and terrible body aches.

The night was nothing short of a hazy, fever dream. You tossed and turned inside your bed, drifting in and out of sleep as your mind floated from one unfortunate series of events to the next, the dreams which haunted your head vivid enough for you to struggle determining them from reality.

When you finally woke up, you had been drenched in sweat and feeling much worse than you had the night before. Every single muscle in your body seemed to ache, and despite your body burning from the fever, you were terribly cold, shivering beneath the blankets you had piled over your body. Worse of all, your throat burned, but no matter how thirsty you felt, nothing stayed down for long. Even the smallest sip of water made your stomach roll, causing you to spend the majority of Tuesday wrapped up in a blanket on your bathroom floor. 

Wednesday went no differently than Tuesday. At some point in the haze, you thought you might have heard a knock at your front door, but you didn’t have the strength to get up from your corner in the bathroom to go downstairs and check. Your phone buzzed shortly after when a call came through, but you weren’t able to reach for it in time to answer, lost in the mound of blankets surrounding you. When you finally found it, you saw that it had been Mingi who had called alongside a plethora of other messages you had missed in your semi-concurrent state over the past day and a half. You thought about answering the text message he had left alongside the missed call, wanting to tell him you were fine, but your stomach rolled, forcing you to drop everything and empty whatever was left in your stomach at this point. 

“y/n?” 

The sound surprised you, but not quite as much as when your eyes glanced up and found a familiar figure standing in the open doorway to your bathroom.

“Mingi?” If it wasn’t for how terrible you currently felt, you might have felt self-conscious of your current physical state, but you didn’t have the energy to do so. Your brain could barely wrap around the fact Mingi had come into your apartment, let alone what sort of implications it might have had. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to barge in.” He kept his distance from you when he spoke. “You weren’t answering your phone and I was worried, so when your door was unlocked...”

“No, it’s fine-” you began, but was cut off as a wave of nausea hit you once more. 

Mingi was at your side in a heartbeat, fingers tickling the back of your neck as he pulled your hair out of the way for you. Somewhere inside your mind you were aware of the action. Of how close he was to you and how embarrassing the interaction was for you, but his touch was cool against your feverish skin and you did little more but lean into it when he reached out for your forehead once your stomach had settled.

“Sorry, I’m-“

“There’s nothing to apologize for.” His voice was soft, hands brushing back the sweaty strands of hair stuck against your forehead. “You��re burning up, so why don’t we get you back into bed, huh?” It wasn’t so much a question as it was a statement, hands already moving downwards to help lift your body. “Then I’ll get you some water as well as something to help deal with the nausea.” 

You were too weak to argue, and far too out of it to feel embarrassed at the amount of support you needed from him to get back on your feet. He guided you the short distance over to your bed without complaint, maneuvering the blankets and pillows around to best support you. Once you were comfortably situated, he left you be for just a moment to go fetch the materials he had spoken of earlier.

It was hard to tell how long he was gone, having drifted off to sleep shortly after he left your side. You were only vaguely aware of someone gently shaking you awake later on, and helping you down whatever contents were in the bottle he brought. This time around, it went down with little resistance, cool and refreshing against your parched throat. 

“Don’t worry, love,” Mingi’s voice was soft as he spoke, hand once again hovering over your forehead, “it’ll all be over soon.” 

You weren’t sure when he left, or if he had ever even been there at all, drifting back to sleep shortly after. The dreams that followed were even stranger than the nights before, more vivid and intense than anything before, almost fully leading you to believe you had imagined Mingi being there. Everything about them felt real, down to the fingers that fluttered along your arms and legs, cool to the touch from the heat of your fever, and the lips that ghosted along after them. If you had been in your right mind, you might have been embarrassed by the contents, fully aware of just who your feverish mind had summoned into your head. But there was a strange sort of relief alongside them, and the liquid poured down your throat, fully satisfying the thirst that had consumed you earlier.

When you finally awoke late Thursday morning, you were surprised to discover your fever had finally started to ease. You didn’t feel fully back to normal yet, but you found yourself able to get around your room once more without the threat of passing out hovering over you. And for the first time in days, you were not only able to keep down the small snack you ate, but also stand long enough to take a shower and wash away the sweat and grime that had built up over the last few days.

You settled back into your bed after stepping out of the shower. You felt better than you had in days, no longer feeling as though you were on the verge of death, but the few actions you had done had still left you exhausted in your weakened state. You might have been on the road to recovery, but you would still have to take it easy over the next few days. 

You took the time to check your phone, briefly running through the notifications that had flooded it over the past few days. The majority of them were from Felix, but there were a few from Hongjoong and the others, including Mingi, who’s message indicated that he had been in your apartment the day before. The realization left a pit forming in your stomach, fully embarrassed by the interaction now that you had the capacity to do so. You couldn’t remember exactly what had occurred, but what little snippets you gathered only served to leave you blushing and pushing back his message to deal with later, if at all. 

Instead, you focused your attention towards Felix. He was at work for the afternoon, so you were unable to call him and let him know you had not been kidnapped and there was no reason to call the police, but you texted him a brief update on your status alongside a promise to call him later once he was free. Once he was taken care of, you had the others who had expressed concern in your absence to deal with. You quickly discovered there was at least one text from each of your new coworkers, littered with concern for your well-being and questions asking if there was anything they could do to help. Your cheeks once again tinted pink as you read through them, sinking further beneath your covers and opting to send a short update into the group chat to thank them and inform them you were feeling much better at the moment.

You spent the rest of the afternoon in bed, catching up on a few of the shows you had been watching before switching to a variety of random YouTube videos to pass the time. As much as you hated falling ill during the one week you had off from work, it was still nice to be able to rest and heal on your own time and without having to worry about missing work or anything else. 

It was evening by the time Felix called you, FaceTiming you to ensure you were doing as well as you said. You moved downstairs to the kitchen to talk with him, eager to get out of bed after being in it for so long and settling down at the island counter to snack on some crackers as the two of you talked.

You had been speaking for almost half an hour when there was a knock at the door, silencing the giggle Felix had pulled out of you. Your lips twisted as you turned your head towards the sound out of reflex, unsure who exactly was at your door. You hadn’t been expecting anyone, but you were pretty sure you could easily narrow the culprit down to one of eight people.

“Something wrong, n/n?” 

You shook your head, turning back to your phone propped up on the counter. “No, someone’s just at my door. Could you give me a second to see who it is and what they want?” That, you also had a relatively good idea for as well, nearly certain it was just one of your new neighbors coming to check up on you and see how you were doing. 

Before you did, however, you couldn’t stop your eyes from flickering to the edge of your screen where your own reflection lied. You couldn’t stop another frown from crossing your face, acutely aware of how rough you looked at the moment. You had dressed purely for comfort and hadn’t done anything else with your hair after taking a shower, simply letting it air dry. And while you knew it didn’t matter, the visit was definitely not anything beyond friendly, you still felt your self-esteem dropping the slightest. While you had no issues with Felix seeing you in your current state - you had been friends for years and fully comfortable around him - you were nowhere near that level of comfort with anyone who lived here yet. 

You straightened your hair as best you could before getting up from your seat to head over to the door, steadying yourself for just a few seconds when you got a little dizzy from getting up too quickly. 

“Seonghwa, hi.” You remained half hidden behind the door when you opened it, surprised to see the senior property manager at your doorstep despite knowing it was likely him or one of the others. 

“Hi,” Seonghwa returned your sentiment with a smile. “How are you feeling?”

“Well, considering I can now make it downstairs without passing out or throwing up, I’d say pretty good,” you joked, feeling oddly at ease in front of him. “I think I spent the majority of the past two days laying on the bathroom floor.”

“I’m glad you’re feeling better. We’ve all been worried about you, especially after the state Mingi found you in yesterday,” he replied, all but confirming your suspicions. Mingi had come over yesterday. “And I’m sorry about coming over unannounced, but I thought you might not be feeling up to cooking anything tonight, so I made you some soup.”

It took a minute for his words to process, and once they did, you struggled with a response. Seeing the thermos extended towards you left your stomach flipping; the kindness he was showing you making you freeze. It was one thing coming to check up on you, but this…

“Seonghwa.” Your arms crossed against your chest, fighting the strange urge to cry. After everything you had been through the past few days, the act of kindness hit you hard, not quite used to it. “Thank you.” You took the thermos from his hands, giving him a soft smile. “Do you want to come inside for a bit?”

“I’d like that.” Seonghwa nodded his appreciation, and you stepped out of the way to let him inside, closing the door behind him. 

Your mind briefly traveled over to the comment Felix had made the other day, the one where he was certain no guy would go this much out of the way for someone they were just seeking friendship with. But he had been wrong, right? That couldn’t have been true when each of them treated you with such kindness. It was just the type of people they were, right? 

You shook your head, finding the train of thought ridiculous. Of course they were just being friendly. 

“It’s not much yet, sorry, but there’s a chair at the island you can sit at.” You made your way back over to the kitchen, setting the thermos on the counter and trying not to let your insecurity of yourself or your lack of furnishings get the better of you. “Just give me a second to wrap up my call with Felix and I’ll be free.”

You grabbed your phone from off the counter, unmuting yourself so you could let Felix know what had happened and finish your conversation. “Sorry about that, Lix.” You took the further barstool at the island, settling back down. Despite feeling much better than earlier, your head still spun from standing too long. “Seonghwa stopped by to bring me some dinner. Would you like to say hi?” You were quick to add to let Felix know you were no longer alone, not wanting him to say anything about the situation that might embarrass you further. Of course that didn’t mean Felix wouldn’t still say something, but it would lower the severity of the next words out of his mouth. 

You were quick to notice the shift in Felix’s face, including the smirk that crossed his lips, but he refrained himself from whatever sarcastic remark you knew had just played through his mind. Hearing your conversation, Seonghwa approached you from behind, peering down at the screen in your hand from over your shoulder. You had a hard time resisting the shiver that ran down your spine as his hand came down to rest on the counter beside you. There was something different about him tonight that you couldn’t quite place, something that left your stomach fluttering. And had he always smelled this good before? A scent you couldn’t quite place, but had you unconsciously leaning back into him. 

“Hi!” Felix waved to the man standing behind you, the very man you hoped didn’t notice the subtle smirk he had sent your way beforehand. The way his eyes shifted between the two of you made your stomach twist. “I’m Felix. It’s nice to finally have a face to one of the names n/n keeps mentioning.”

You had to bite your lower lip to keep the rebuttal at bay, inwardly twisting at the implication of Felix’s remark. 

“All good things I hope,” Seonghwa chuckled, and was it just your imagination or had he moved in closer?

“Oh, no, it’s been nothing but terrible,” Felix replied, and you swiftly became aware of the mistake you had made in allowing the two to speak. “I mean, bringing her food, helping her unpack, checking up on her? What kind of person would do that?”

“Well, you can talk all about it tomorrow,” you interrupted their conversation as Seonghwa laughed behind you, hoping he didn’t see the pink tint on your cheeks in the lower image of the screen. “I should probably eat before the food gets cold, but I’ll see you tomorrow, Lix.”

Thankfully, Felix didn’t try to fight your attempt to get out of the awkward situation you had put yourself into. He simply nodded his agreement and stayed on long enough with you to finalize the plans for tomorrow before saying goodbye and returning the finger heart you gave him and ending the call. 

“I’m sorry about Felix.” The room fell silent as your screen went dark. You became fully aware you were now alone with Seonghwa and though you hadn’t given Felix too much time to embarrass you, you still felt some need to fill the silence and apologizing for your friend was the first thing to pop inside your mind. “He can be a bit much at times.”

“It’s fine.” Seonghwa shook his head, pulling back from you when you made to move yourself. “He seems like a good friend. How long have you known each other?”

“Ummm, a little over three years now, I think.” You thought over the question for just a moment, the years had mixed together over time. “We met shortly after I had moved to the city and just sort of clicked almost immediately. I honestly don’t know what I would have done without him. He’s just about the only thing that’s kept me sane since then.”

You made to stand back up and grab yourself a bowl and utensils, but you must have gone a little too quickly as the motion left your head spinning once more. Seonghwa reacted quickly, hands wrapping around your waist to help steady you as you reached out for the counter in front of you for support. 

“Are you okay?” His voice sounded close, too close. Close enough to where you could feel his breath tickling your ear. 

“Yeah, just a little lightheaded is all.” Your breath hitched, overcome with the unnatural urge to close the distance between you. Your fingers tightened their grip on the counter in an attempt to steady them, lips parting momentarily as a newfound thirst overcame you. 

It was now that Seonghwa’s familiar scent finally clicked in your head, reminding you of your ex-boyfriend. It wasn’t quite the same, but the overarching sweetness of it was something that had long since been imprinted in your memory and nearly sent you reeling. 

“You should eat then,” his voice was soft, fingers digging momentarily into your waist before guiding you back down to the chair you had risen from. “The past few days have been rough on you and your body, so try and rest for now. I can get what you need.”

You nodded your head, sinking back down into your chair. He was right. Besides the little bit of food your stomach had been able to handle earlier, you hadn’t eaten anything in the last few days and were starting to feel the effects now that you had been getting up and about once more. 

“I’m sorry.” 

“For what?” Seonghwa looked back at you from the cabinet he was rummaging in. 

“I don’t know.” His response caught you off guard, causing you to squirm in your seat. “I guess I just feel a little bit like I’m inconveniencing you. I mean, you’ve all helped me so much these past few days and I can’t help but feel a little guilty about it all. I don’t want to be a burden to you or make you think I’m trying to take advantage of you in any way.”

“Is that all?” Seonghwa’s head tilted and you had a hard time reading the intent behind his words as you meekly nodded your confirmation. Perhaps it wasn’t everything that plagued you, but it was all you were willing to divulge at the moment. “Then you don’t have anything to apologize for.” He waved your concern away, closing the cabinet door once he found what he was looking for. “Life gets crazy every once in a while and we just try and do what we can to help each other out. I’m sure if the roles were reversed, you’d do the exact same thing, right? After all, you helped little Junseo without even knowing him, didn’t you?”

“Well, yeah,“ You had forgotten about your interaction with Junseo on your first visit here. The act of helping him hadn’t even passed your mind since then. It had simply been the right thing to do, but this was different. You weren’t a defenseless little kid. You could take care of yourself. “but it’s-“

“y/n,” Seonghwa’s hand landed on your shoulder, giving it a small squeeze, “just let us take care of you, okay?”

Something about his expression resonated with you, leaving you with the sudden urge to do exactly what he said. Seonghwa wanted nothing more than to help you, to take care of you, so why were you trying to fight him on it? Why wouldn’t you just let him do it? What was the harm in it? You would both be happier in the long run. 

“Okay.” You nodded, body relaxing at the smile your response pulled from him. God, he really was beautiful, wasn’t he?

“Now, please, eat.” He pushed a bowl of soup towards you, pulling you from the daze you had fallen into. 

You picked up the spoon he had fetched for you, turning your gaze away. You had been staring again, hadn’t you? Had he noticed? Your eyes glanced back in his direction, using your hair to shield your gaze as best as you could. He must have. Why else would he be smirking right about now. 

Shit.

“Shit.” You repeated the curse out loud, but this time out of pure shock after tasting the soup Seonghwa had brought for you. “Seonghwa, this is amazing!” And you weren’t lying. His soup tasted heavenly and you had to restrain yourself from eating it too quickly. The last thing you wanted was to throw it all back up, a thought that had you blushing once more remembering your interaction with Mingi the day before. 

“Thank you.” Seonghwa’s chin came to rest against the palm of his hand as you continued to praise his cooking. Amusement overtook his features at your antics, but you weren’t paying enough attention to him at the moment to notice it. “I’m glad you enjoy it.”

This time you did notice it when you looked back up at him, causing you to swiftly look away once more. Your gaze went back down to the bowl in front of you, fiddling with the spoon while you inwardly cursed yourself. You could feel your appetite disappearing as your embarrassment took over, and you had to fight the urge to apologize once more. He would probably only call you out on it again, leaving you more flustered than you were already. 

If he noticed or minded your discomfort, he didn’t show it, carrying on your conversation with an ease that would have left you jealous if you hadn’t been on the receiving end of it. He asked you about your interests, your hobbies, what family you had left, and everything in between. And though you might have felt slightly uncomfortable in the beginning, you felt more at ease around him as the night went on, especially once he made you a cup of tea. 

You were struggling to keep your eyes open towards the end, but too enthralled in the moment to make any move to end it. There was something about him that was addicting, each easy smile and brush against your skin pulling you in deeper until his presence consumed your mind entirely. Never in your life had you wanted someone, needed someone, so completely and this desire left your head spinning. 

Perhaps somewhere deep inside your mind, you were aware something wasn’t quite right, conscious of the hazy state of your brain and inability to think clearly. But it was impossible for you to fully grasp this thought as he helped you back upstairs. His arm was wrapped tightly around your waist, pulling you in close to him and making it impossible for you to not bury your face into him and let his scent consume you. 

Fingers danced across your skin, lips trailing along the curve of your neck. For a split second, the bliss was overtaken by a searing pain at your neck, causing your body to tense as the haze was momentarily broken. You reached for the figure over you, attempting to push them off as your panic overwhelmed you, only for your movements to still seconds later as soft reassurances were ushered against your lips. 

Everything was alright. Everything was just fine. You were safe here. Safe with him. He would take care of you. Give you everything you needed. All you had to do was let him. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

When Felix arrived at your apartment, he found you laying headfirst on top of your bed, the clothes you had been trying on previously discarded haphazardly around you. The music you had turned on in an attempt to hype yourself up for the night had taken a new turn as Luke Black’s voice echoed around the loft. The lyrics ‘I just want to sleep forever’ mirroring your own sentiment at the moment. 

“Nothing to wear?” Felix was silent at first, and you turned your head over in his direction to find him leaning against the banister near the stairs, eyeing you with cool amusement. 

“I don’t think I’m gonna go anymore, Lix,” you replied before burying your head back into your pillow, causing your next words to muffle. “Just tell them I’m still not feeling well.” It wasn’t a complete lie. The nausea that had built up from your anxiety for tonight certainly made you feel sick at the moment.

“And why not?” 

Whether he chose to ignore your second statement, or simply didn’t hear it from your position, you didn’t know, but his focus into your first statement made you sigh. In truth, you weren’t sure what had started it all. One moment you were pilfering through your closet in search of something to wear, dancing along to the music coming through your speakers, and the next you were curled up on top of your bed fighting the urge to break down. You supposed it had probably started with a stray thought, briefly wondering what your new friends would think of you in your first selection before your mind had cracked. Nothing worked after that, and you quickly began to pick out each and every insecurity the outfits you tried on would show.

As much as you hated yourself for it, you had a hard time holding back your attraction for each of the eight males who had entered your life within the past few weeks. Whether it was just natural or your body rebounding in an attempt to regain what you lost, you weren’t sure. But it didn’t matter. Not when you knew it would only lead to you setting yourself up for another heartbreak. Tonight’s intent was nothing more than friendly, an attempt to get to know you better and let you run wild and loosen up after your recent breakup. There was nothing romantic involved, none of them held an ounce of interest in you. And why would they? They were of a class way above you and it was unbelievably stupid for you to think anything otherwise. The sooner you wrapped your head around it, the better.

But you couldn’t. Your mind kept roaming to your time with Seonghwa the night before. All the two of you had done was talk, but it hadn’t stopped you from wondering, what if? And it clearly hadn’t stopped your mind from running wild in your sleep. 

“Because I don’t have anything to wear.” You tossed the thoughts away, thankful your face was hidden from view. As much as you trusted Felix, you didn’t feel like talking about how much your last relationship had crushed you and how the lingering effects of it still haunted you to this day. That was a conversation that would only lead to you feeling worse than you did at the moment, so you left it buried inside for the moment, deciding to instead focus on the issue that had sprung this fit on you in the first place.

Felix hummed. “I’ll be the judge of that.”

He pushed himself off the edge of the banister to approach your bed, causing you to take a quick peak at him as he began rifling between the discarded articles of clothing. He had gone all out tonight, opting for an all black outfit. His shirt was form fitting, drawing attention to his toned chest while his pants had a looser, cargo fit to them. It was completed with the oversized jacket of his that you loved and a pair of bulky combat boots. The only hint of color in the whole ensemble was the hair he had just dyed a few shades closer to platinum and the neon purple graphic liner ordaining his eyes.

Your stomach dropped as you took him in, wondering why everyone in your life was so attractive. The only reason you could ever imagine any of them stayed around you was to make them feel better about themselves. You were only there as a confidence booster, so they wouldn’t be the ugly friend in the mix. 

“What about this?” Felix asked, pulling up the pleated black skirt you had first pulled on nearly an hour ago. “You can wear it with that one-sleeved crop you have and then we can match.”

“I don’t know.” You frowned, knowing exactly which shirt he was talking about, but not quite feeling it in your current mindset. Not when it showed off so much of your figure, the very thing that had caused this spiral. “I tried it on earlier and I don’t think I’m feeling it tonight.”

“Well, what if I told you, you could wear my jacket over it?” His brow quirked and you had a hard time keeping your expression level as your eyes roamed over the jacket he was referring to. You did love that jacket. “That way you can cover up if you want to and take it off if you’re comfortable.”

“I don’t know-”

“I’ll do your liner too,” he added, pulling out a bag from one of his pockets and tossing it over to you.

Your lips twisted, having a hard time keeping a smile from forming as you took in Felix’s collection of neon eyeliner. “Fine, you have a deal, but,” you sighed, slowly picking yourself up into a seated position, “just help me make sure I don’t do anything crazy tonight, will you? I don’t want to make a fool of myself again or do anything I’ll regret in the morning.” Your mind trailed back to your first night here, still fully embarrassed by your actions that night. And though Hongjoong had told you, you hadn’t said or done anything, you couldn’t help but doubt him, almost fully convinced he had just told you that to spare you some embarrassment.

“You have my word.” Felix nodded, giving you a reassuring smile. “So, hurry up and go get dressed so I can finish your makeup. We’re running late.”

You pulled yourself out of bed, taking the skirt in Felix’s hand and pilfering around the rest of the scattered clothes for the top he had mentioned earlier. Once you had found both pieces, you made your way into the bathroom to change. While you felt slightly better after your conversation with Felix, you still couldn’t quite find your confidence back anymore. Your eyes still traveled across your figure in the mirror, wondering just what it was about you that was faulty? What was it that had made Jae seek comfort elsewhere? What was it that had driven him away?

“y/n?” You were distracted at the soft knock at the door, followed by Felix calling out to you. “You okay?”

You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath to help settle your nerves. Tonight was about having fun, letting loose and celebrating the fact you had finally gotten out of the toxic relationship you had begun to think you were truly stuck in. Now was not the time to let his lies get the better of you. You couldn’t let him continue to haunt your life after finally becoming free. You needed to let him go and move on, fully enjoying this new side of life you had craved for so long. 

“Yeah, I’m good,” you replied, turning from the mirror and refusing to look at yourself any longer. Tonight was going to be fun. All you had to do was let yourself enjoy it for what it was: the beginning of new friendships and a new life altogether. “Just give me a second to do the rest of my makeup and then I’ll be ready.”

You didn’t spend too much time on it, deciding it best to keep your face fairly bare for the night. With Felix offering to do a fun graphic design on your eyes, you kept the rest of it light and neutral, not wanting to risk it running or smudging later on in the night. 

“You know, Lix,” you began a few minutes later, sitting up on the bathroom counter for Felix to complete your look for you, “if you would have told me six months ago I would have fallen in love with a man with a bowl cut and a green bolero jacket, I would have called you crazy. And yet, here we are.” You did your best to keep your face still as he worked, but you couldn’t stop the giggle that followed your words. The current song blasting through your speakers was the direct inspiration for the color you had opted for tonight and your former sentiment. “I think my heart has quite literally been stolen away.”

Felix snickered, taking a step back to check your line and see if it needed to be touched up anywhere. “Kaarija does have a certain charm about him, doesn’t he?” he hummed, grabbing the green liner again to fix a spot he found on your left eye. “There, all done.”

He stepped back once more, taking a few moments to appreciate his work before having you turn around and see if for yourself. You couldn’t keep the smile off your face as you took in your appearance, the bright green of the liner bringing the attention straight to your eyes from your otherwise all black look.

“It looks great!” You admired the design for a few more seconds, once again envious of his superior makeup skills. Despite being the more artistic one between the two of you, his ability in this field far outweighed your own. “You’re the best, y’know?” You jumped down from the counter, taking just a moment to straighten your skirt back out and fix the edge of your collar that was digging into your neck. “Now, your jacket, please?” You turned back towards him, extending your hand for the article of clothing he had promised you earlier.

“In a moment.” Felix stopped you with his index finger, picking his phone up off the counter and waving it over at you. “Pictures first.” 

You rolled your eyes, fighting the urge to argue with him. It wasn’t going to get you anywhere. When it came to pictures, Felix was worse than your mother had been growing up. Any attempt at fighting it would only lead to him taking pictures that would only serve to embarrass you later. 

“C’mon, we have to record this momentous event,�� he replied, taking quick note of your outward distaste for it. “Plus, I look good, you look good- No, I’m serious, y/n.” His hand reached for your shoulder, leaning down to match your height. “And I’m not saying that just because I’m your best friend or because I did an amazing job on your makeup. You look good. Really good. You’re not going to be lacking any dance partners or having to buy any drinks tonight-”

“Shut up.” You shove Felix away from you, trying to hide the smile and blush he pulled out of you. You didn’t believe his words, not truly, but the compliments still left your stomach fluttering.

Once Felix was satisfied, you demanded his jacket once more. This time he didn’t try to fight you on it, glady shrugging the piece off and handing it over to you. You took it greedily, feeling more confident than you had all night once the oversized fit of it helped to hide the shape of your body. It was still summer, and you knew it would quickly heat up once you got inside the club, but you figured you would be able to last until you had one or two drinks in you, letting the alcohol give you the courage you currently lacked without it.

“Y’know,” you began once you turned back to Felix, taking in his outfit with new appreciation. “You could make a pretty good Leon cosplay with that.”

“You think?” Felix turned back to the mirror beside you, considering your words as he looked over his outfit one last time, running a hand through his hair. “Hmm, you’re right. Maybe next con, then? You could always be Ashley.”

You shook your head. “If we’re going that route, I think I’d prefer Ada. Her dress in the new remake is very pretty.” Now that you were ready, you grabbed your phone back off the counter to let the others know you would be downstairs to meet them in just a few minutes.

Any confidence you had managed to build up in the last few minutes slowly faded away as you read through the few messages you had missed, wondering if you were really mentally ready for tonight. The nerves you had carefully locked away now returned in full force, leaving you itching to call out sick once more.

Why were they doing this? You fully understood Felix’s intentions when he had asked Hongjoong if they wanted to join you two, but why had he accepted the offer? Why had any of them accepted the offer? Felix hadn’t exactly been the most subtle about it when he had invited them, so why did they seem so enthused about going? 

You didn’t understand it. You didn’t understand them. Why were they so nice to you? Why were they so friendly towards you? Always ready to help at a moment’s notice. You weren’t anything special. Nothing worth the attention they seemed so keen to give you. So, why? Why did they do it?

“You ready, n/n?” Felix asked, pulling your head from your phone as he gathered up the few possessions he had brought with him. 

“Ready.” You nodded, quickly hitting send before pocketing your phone. You were hardly ready, but you doubted you would ever be ready to put yourself out there once more.

You took one last deep breath as you followed Felix down the hall, preparing yourself for the night’s events. Tonight was going to be fun. After all, in one way or another, it was all about you.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Your nails tapped against the back of your phone case, fighting the urge to turn it around and check it once more. There was nothing to check, no notification or reason to open it up and look, but the need to find something to occupy yourself and give your fidgeting hands something to do was overwhelming. You had already shuffled through the phone several times in your hand, opening the screen up only to turn it off moments later when you realized you had nothing to do. 

The original intention had been to walk. The club was just a few streets down from your new apartment, but a steady rain had begun to fall, leaving you no choice but to make the short drive over there instead. You had thought it wouldn’t have been any big deal, but Felix had called shotgun the moment you had neared Mingi’s car - the wink that followed all but telling the intent behind it. The awkward conversation that followed left you offering to take the middle seat in the back, stuck between Yeosang and Jongho. You tried not to let it get to you, but your nerves were already high, and neither of the men beside you were particularly shy when it came to space. More pictures were taken, and though you couldn’t fathom why they wanted you in them too, you were squeezed in between them without a second thought. This combined with the looks Felix gave you in the rear view mirror while he chatted with Mingi only served to fuel your flustered state. 

Though fall was right around the corner, it was warmer than you had expected to be, and it didn’t take long in your trip to start growing hot from the jacket you had borrowed for the night. The drive was supposed to be a few minutes, but the streets were riddled with traffic and you eventually found yourself shrugging out of it when you couldn’t stand the heat any longer. 

Though you had passed by the Illusion on your way to and from your new apartment before, you had never seen it in full swing on the weekend before. Despite being highly exclusive, the line to get inside wrapped around the block, and you couldn’t help but wonder how long you would spend waiting outside in the rain and whether or not it would be worth it. Before you could voice your concern, however, Mingi had pulled the car to the side and Yeosang had pulled you out behind him, sharing his jacket with you to help shield you from the rain. Yeosang didn’t give the line a passing glance, guiding you towards the bouncer stationed at the front. He didn’t say a word as your group approached, letting you through with nothing more than a curious glance in your direction. 

You barely had time to take in the interior of the club before a hand was at the base of your back. The contact made you jump, afraid of who had gotten close to you already, but when you turned your head, you found it was only San. 

“This way.” His head tilted to the stairs at your left a few feet ahead of you before he used the grip he had on you to lead you towards them. There was another bouncer standing guard at the base, but he only gave San a small nod as you moved past him, making you wonder just what sort of connections Hongjoong had with the owner to have this sort of access. 

It was quieter upstairs, and you quickly became aware of the difference in air up here. Though only a few people roamed the premises - all who weren’t even trying to be subtle in their assessment of your figure tucked next to San - it was clear they were all of a class far different than your own. The clothes, the jewelry, hell, the mere way they held themselves, made you instantly aware of the fact you didn’t belong here. The cheap material of your clothes stuck out like a sore thumb, and it took everything in you to not disappear from view. 

San’s hand slipped further around your waist, fingers digging into your hip as he guided you past the bar and towards a private seating area back in the corner. It was set aside from the rest of the upstairs area, strategically set up between walls so it was given a bit of privacy from the other patrons milling about. A couch took up the majority of the space, looking out at the main floor beneath you. It was here that San dragged you to, pulling you down in the corner beside him. 

“Seonghwa and Yunho are getting the first round.” Wooyoung plopped himself down in the empty spot next to you before you had a chance to create some distance between yourself and San, effectively enclosing you in between them for the time being.

“Oh, okay. Just let me know how much I owe each of you and I’ll-“

“Don’t worry about it,” San replied before you had a chance to finish. “It’s our treat.”

“But-“ You understood the attempt to cheer you up, but you also weren’t a charity case. You didn’t need their help with everything. You could pay for your own drinks. 

“C’mon,” Wooyoung pouted, leaning in ever so closer to you. Just like Seonghwa from the night before and the two you had been trapped in between in the car earlier, he and San smelled good. There was a distinct difference to each of them, but the same undertones were there. Something distinctly sweet, effectively pulling you in. Your body subconsciously mirrored his movements, leaning further into him. “Won’t you let us buy you a few drinks?”

Your head nodded on its own accord, wondering why you had been opposed to it in the first place. There was no harm in letting them buy you a few drinks, now was there? Not when they were the ones offering. 

You weren’t sure exactly what drink Yunho had gotten you when it was passed down your way, but you weren’t about to complain when it was free. All it took was one sip to realize there was nothing to worry about. Whatever fruity cocktail they had gotten you satiated a thirst you weren’t even aware of, causing you to down the contents far quicker than you should have. 

Wooyoung was the first one to ask you to dance. You didn’t know exactly how to take the request, stomach fluttering as his head bent down towards your own. You wanted to, truly you did, but you didn’t think you had the confidence to do so. His intent was probably just friendly, but it couldn’t stop a wave of nerves from flooding through you at the idea. There was no way you could get that close to him without panicking, and if you panicked, god. That was a whole other disaster to contend with. 

So, you did your best to politely decline his offer, saying you were fine sitting here for the time being. And was it just your imagination or did Wooyoung seem upset by your answer? You didn’t have too much time to contemplate the matter, your attention quickly stolen elsewhere when another drink was passed down to you.  

You drank this one more slowly, already feeling the effects of the first one. For a brief moment, you thought something about it was a bit off, finding it strange to feel this tipsy after only one drink. You also wondered where Felix had gotten to, not seeing him in the sea of people around you and feeling a bit antsy by yourself, but both thoughts passed quickly when a question from Jongho pulled your attention to him and leaned further into San beside you. 

He was also asking if you wanted to dance, but you shyly shook your head, giggling some excuse about not being very good and hoping your face wasn’t quite as red as it felt. All the while, you found yourself sinking even further into San’s grip, whose hand was trailing along the length of your thigh as you finished the rest of your second glass. 

A part of you was somewhat aware of your current state, yelling at yourself to pick yourself back up and create some distance, but San’s other arm had crept around your waist and his presence was so warm and reassuring, you didn’t have the strength to do so. The way his fingers dug into the skin of your waist all but telling you everything was just fine. 

“Are you sure you don’t want to dance, pretty?”

San’s question made you stop for just a second, wondering whether you did want to dance or not. You were pretty sure you did, but the thought made your stomach flip once more. He didn’t actually want to dance with you, did he? He was only asking to be nice. To be polite. Because who else in this place was going to want to?

So, then, what did it matter if you went with him? What did it matter if you embarrassed yourself in front of them? It wouldn’t change the outcome of the night?  So, maybe you should go out there and enjoy yourself.

“Hongjoong, darling, you didn’t tell me you were coming tonight.” 

Whatever response you were going to give San fell away at the new voice, finding a woman alongside Mingi and Seonghwa as they made their way back from the bar. She was older than you by a few years and though her features were sharp, there was a certain poise about her that drew the attention of the room towards her. She held herself with a confidence foreign to you, made complete by the immaculate way she dressed, easily worth more than your entire wardrobe combined. Her attention was focused on Hongjoong a few people down from you, eyes barely passing over the rest of the group as she sat down next to him.  

You didn’t catch Hongjoong’s reply, distracted by the drink that was passed your way once more. For just a moment, you were vaguely aware that no one else seemed to be having quite as many drinks as you, but the thought was gone as quickly as it came when you caught a whiff of the drink. 

“y/n.” San attempted to pull your attention back to him, repeating the question he had asked before. 

Your brow furrowed, eyes glancing over at the woman now sitting next to Hongjoong. You were distinctly aware of the way she was leaning into him and the way her nails traced along his arm. It left a pit beginning to grow inside your stomach, especially when her eyes caught hold of yours and a smirk appeared. And despite the attention you were getting from the others, you could feel your confidence waning, fully aware someone like her was miles above you. 

“Sorry, will you excuse me for a moment?” 

You set your half-empty drink on the table in front of you, pulling yourself out of San’s grasp. Getting up left your head spinning, and you stumbled across the floor. Where exactly you were heading, you weren’t sure. You just needed to get out of there for a second and clear your mind before your panic overtook you. 

Coming here had been a terrible idea. You should have stayed home? Why hadn’t you stayed home? You weren’t ready, not yet. You knew something like this was bound to happen, so why had it bothered you so much? Because you had secretly held on to some hope that one of their actions had been more than friendly? Or because you had been reminded how beneath everyone you were? How it was stupid to think anyone would ever like you.

“Woah, careful there.” 

Hands caught your stumbling form at the bottom of the stairs, steadying you. You looked up, the apology at the tip of your tongue disappearing when you saw the man that had caught you. His figure towered over you, dark eyes peeking out between strands of hair dyed a bright teal. And though the lower half of his face was covered by a black mask, you had a pretty good idea of the beauty that must have laid beneath.

“Well, aren’t you just something special?” His head tilted as he assessed your features, dark eyes running unabashedly along your features. Fingers brushed back the hair at your neck as he leaned further down, breathing you in. “Hmm, maybe I should have taken you when I had the chance.”

“Jiwoon,” the man’s head snapped up at the voice behind you, eyes widening momentarily at the hand that was suddenly at his throat, “what do you think you’re doing? Get your fucking hands off of her.”

Despite the venom lacing their words and the hand at his throat, Jiwoon seemed unperturbed. He simply eyed the figure behind you with cool amusement before pointedly stepping away from you and raising his hands to signify he had done what was asked of him to remove the grip they had on him

“There’s no need to get all worked up, Yeosang.” Jiwoon’s hands were quickly replaced by another as he replied, encircling your waist and bringing you back into him. You had a hard time focusing on his words, mind preoccupied by the familiar scent that surrounded you in that moment. “I was simply helping the poor girl. Seems like she’s had quite a bit to drink tonight.” His eyes focused back onto you, taking note of the way your head had buried itself into Yeosang’s neck.

Something had upset you earlier, hadn’t it? But what? You couldn’t quite remember what had dragged you away anymore. 

“Consider yourself lucky I’m the one who came to fetch her. I don’t think some of the others would take as kindly to seeing your fangs that close to her neck.” 

“Whatever you say.” Jiwoon shrugged, brushing past the two of you to head upstairs. “Unlike some of the other vermin in this city, I do know my place. You have nothing to fear from me.”

"Are you okay, pretty?" Yeosang tugged you out from him, inspecting the skin along your throat where Jiwoon's face had been. "As much as I hate to admit it, Jiwoon was right. You've had quite a bit to drink tonight and it's dangerous to be on your own in this state. Who knows who might try to take advantage of you."

"I'm sorry, I just..." Just what? You had left for some reason hadn't you, but what had that been? Why had you left so suddenly? You searched for the answer in your memory, but came up short.

"No one's judging you, sweetheart." Yeosang's eyes met yours once he was satisfied with his assessment. "You can drink all you want. Just make sure you stick with one of us, 'kay? Especially if you want to come down to dance." At your confirmation, his eyes briefly traveled to the area behind you. "Is that why you came down here, n/n? Do you want to dance?"

No, you didn't think so, but then again, you couldn't remember your reasoning for leaving anymore. Perhaps Yeosang was right. Perhaps that was why you had left. Perhaps you had wanted to come dance.

One look at Yeosang was all it took for confirmation, and you shyly nodded your head at his question. The smile your response pulled out of him left your heart fluttering, masking any former reservations you might have had for the act as he pulled you along after him.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“She has no idea, does she?”

It took all Hongjoong’s will to look up from your figure on the floor below, having finally been able to coax you out to the dance floor after several drinks. He couldn’t understand your timid denial to their advances from the first half of the trip, unable to work out why you were so persistent to stay in the shadows when you could move like that.

Yeosang had been the first to pull you out there, a fact San was heavily upset over seeing how close he had been at getting you to agree and fully blamed him for. I had her, San had pouted when Yeosang had begun to gloat over his victory earlier, and then you just had to let that stupid witch get close to you. 

Hongjoong hadn’t put much merit into his words, finding it nothing more than San grasping at straws when you had refused him, but he couldn’t wonder if perhaps there had been some merit to San’s words at the expression that crossed your face when he had stolen you from Yunho earlier. The hesitation and slight disbelief in your eyes as he pulled you in next to him did make him falter for a split second, feeling almost guilty for not doing anything about Yunjin’s obvious advances. You had left without explanation when Yunjin had appeared, after all. But the guilt only strayed for a second, quickly replaced by the satisfaction he felt at knowing he had that sort of hold over you, for knowing you were struggling to hold your attraction for him at bay.

He hadn’t gotten you for nearly as long as he had wanted, having you tugged away shortly after when San had come back for you. You were still currently tucked against his side at the moment, with Wooyoung pressed tightly on the other side of you. Though you had been nervous and flighty with the contact earlier in the night, your inhibitions had long since left you from the blood they had filled you with, and the sensual sway of your hips not only enticed the two men holding you, but anyone else who was watching.

And watching, they were.

The Illusion mainly catered to those nonhuman, and though the club had its fair share of humans that milled the premises on a given night for the right price, the majority of the patrons here tonight were fully aware of who he and his brothers were and did their best to keep their distance. This didn’t, however, keep their eyes from traveling to you, and though no one dared to approach you, their curiosity was impossible to contain. He didn’t mind. Quite the opposite really, taking full pleasure in knowing how they wished you would have been theirs. They were more than welcome to look all they wanted, just as long as they didn’t touch.

“No idea about what?” Hongjoong set his glass down, unable to quite stomach it. Despite having spent years collecting the highest quality blood, it all paled in comparison to your own now. And though you were one floor down and surrounded by a crowd of people, your blood still sung to him, all but begging for him to come and have another taste.

“I guess I can’t really blame you,” she sighed, swirling the contents of her drink. “From what I’ve been told, it’s all the more enticing when they’re kept in the dark.” Her eyes flickered downstairs to where her partner was currently entangled with Felix. Just like they had predicted, the blonde had caught the eyes of both Yunjin and Jiwoon the moment their group had stepped foot inside the club. Unfortunately for her, she wasn’t able to get in on the fun tonight and was left on her own. Felix’s eyes had only been for the blue haired man at her side. “But one of Maeve's children? How did you find her?”

“You tell us.” It was Yunho further down the couch who spoke, the first to broach the matter they had discovered earlier on in the night. “You’ve been dabbling with her blood for quite some time now, haven’t you?”

They had always wondered just where she was getting her supply, but they had never bothered to pry into her affairs that far before. Though they had had their differences in the past, they did trust her. But when Yunho had discovered a stock of you blood in her storage when he dropped off her most recent order of blood, however, they had all quickly begun to connect the dots together. Yunjin and Jiwoon had known you were in the city for years and yet, they had kept their mouths shut.

“I wasn’t aware that it was a crime.” Her expression remained neutral, but he could hear her heartbeat begin to flutter, scent increasing momentarily at the accusation.

“It’s not.” Yunjin had broken no laws in dabbling with the trade of your blood, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t frustrated with her on the matter. “I’m just disappointed you never told us about it.” He leaned back in his seat, eyes traveling once more to your figure. For a brief moment your eyes opened and caught his, and the smile that crossed your lips was the last straw. He motioned to Seonghwa next to him, who took off without needing any further instruction. “I thought we were friends.”

“Aren’t we though, Joongie, dear?” She shifted her body towards him, tracing a manicured hand along his shoulder. “After all, haven’t I always had your back in the past?” The nails traveled to the back of his neck, tracing along the edge of the tattoo peaking past his collar; the very tattoo she had etched upon his skin nearly two centuries ago and the very same tattoo she had given to the rest of them years later as his coven grew.

He didn’t bother removing her hand from him, instead taking the moment to grab hold of her chin and pull her face even closer to his own. “I won’t deny you’ve been a very loyal pet over the years, my darling, Yunjin.” He relished the way her lips twitched at the word, unable to fully mask her annoyance. Although he had always treated her as an equal in the past, they were very much aware just who was in charge. “And I always make sure to take care of my pets, now don’t I? Have I ever failed you yet?”

“No,” she hummed, trying hard to hide her frustration, “I suppose not.”

Movement caught the corner of his eye and he let her go as your figure tumbled into the room beside Seonghwa. His arm was wrapped tightly around your waist, keeping your stumbling figure upright. Though the alcohol content in your drinks had been light, the blood they had mixed into them had done you in, getting rid of your inhibitions and allowing you to act on your most primal needs when it came to them. It left you clinging to Seonghwa’s side, burying your head against his chest.

“y/n.” His voice was low as he called out to you, taking full pleasure in the shy smile that peaked its way out as you turned towards him. He extended his hand out towards you, beckoning you over to him. With Seonghwa’s help, you took it, collapsing down on top of him when he tugged you forward.

There was little resistance from you now, folding yourself up against him. “You smell nice, ‘Joong.” Your words mumbled against his neck, sending a jolt down his spine.

Despite hearing about the bond shared between vampires and your kind, he had no idea the true extent of it until he had finally felt it for himself. The pull had been strong before you had been tied to them, but it was something else altogether now. Everything about you had been fully designed with his kind in mind, lulling him to come and take you all for himself.

“Are you having fun, love?” 

He brushed your hair out of the way, fingers trailing along the side of your neck. The shirt you had chosen for the night had covered it up in the beginning, but it hadn’t taken them long to fix that little problem. Yeosang had ripped the fabric away the moment you had allowed him to get in close to you, leaving the neckline torn and the shirt now ruined from the frayed ends of the collar. 

And despite the numerous feedings done upon you tonight by each of them, the skin beneath his touch was smooth and unblemished. All it took was a few drops of their own to heal you right up, making it all the easier for them to pretend it had been nothing more than a dream.

“Mmhmm, but I think I might need another drink. I’m thirsty.”

He wasn’t surprised by your statement. None of them had done much to restrain themselves tonight, and though your kind’s blood replenished itself far faster than any human, you had been drained far more than you could keep up with on your own. That was where their blood came in once again, speeding up the process even more.

“Is that so?” His fingers dug into the hair at the base of your neck, pulling your head away from him momentarily. With his other hand, he quickly nicked the area of his skin where your mouth had just been. “Go on then.”

For a split second, your brow bunched up, taken back by the display. Even in your dazed state, this hadn’t been what you meant when you had asked for a drink and he could see the attempt your mind made to break through the haze they had created. But the panic was short lived with a gentle murmur of encouragement from himself. Your mouth collided with his throat, greedily lapping up the blood before his body healed the injury for him.

“She certainly is a pretty, little thing, isn’t she?” Jiwoon had appeared in the doorway, eyes shining as he took in your figure. Felix was no longer in sight and Hongjoong could only suppose the vampire had finally started to lose interest once he had gotten his fill of the boy tonight. He leaned down on the couch behind Yunjin, draping his arms around her shoulders and giving her a brief kiss on the cheek. 

“And you would know, now wouldn’t you?” Yeosang growled, glaring at the man across the room. “You got quite the look at her earlier.”

“You did, did you?” This caught all of their attention, but Seonghwa was the first to speak. 

“Can you blame me?” Jiwoon shrugged, unaffected by the accusation. “I’ve never seen one of Maeve’s descendants in person before. How ever did you manage it?”

“She came to us all on her own, no thanks to you two.” Seonghwa settled back into his seat, hand running down the length of your calf. Hongjoong could see the jealousy his oldest friend attempted to mask, but he didn’t feel any guilt towards having you at the moment. Seonghwa had had his fun with you all by himself the night before. “Waltzed right on in without the slightest idea of just what she had gotten herself into.”

“She just walked in?”

“Your old seller had no idea just what he held in his hands.” Hongjoong replied, relishing in the feel of your hands playing with the ends of his hair. Now that you were no longer quite as thirsty, you made yourself comfortable in his lap, resting after the time you had spent dancing. “If he had, he would have never let her run wild like he did. He would have kept her close and done everything he could to make sure she stayed.”

“I always knew he was nothing more than a child,” Yunjin murmured, eyeing your figure on top of him, “but I did think he had enough common sense to piece things together. But then again,” her smile returned, leaning back into her lover, “I was undercharging him quite a bit and he never said a word. Made an absolute fortune off of him.”

So that was why she had kept her mouth shut. The moment she let them know of your presence, she would have lost out on a fortune. And if there was one thing Yunjin cared more than anything, it was a golden opportunity to benefit herself. Jiwoon must have only gone along with it because they both knew what would have happened whenever they found out. The temptation must have been great, but he prized his life much more than having you at his side. He knew what would have happened if they found out he had bonded you to himself. Once the contract was in place, there was only one way to break it, after all. 

“He’s dead, then?”

“Not yet.” He shook his head, careful in his movements now that your movements had stilled and your eyes had closed. He wasn’t surprised; they hadn’t particularly gone easy on your body or mind tonight. And though their blood helped in some ways, you had to have been drained. “We still have a use for him.” 

In the beginning, Hongjoong hadn’t cared whether the man lived or died. Of course, in the end, he would die. He hadn’t been given permission to turn, and none of them felt any inclination to bend the rules for him, especially after discovering just how he had treated you over the past few years. So, they would leave him be for now. And then, once they had fully won you over and his use had been completed, they would get rid of him. 

“…But, then how-“

“Their blood may have been exchanged, but she was never contractually bound to him. He had enough understanding to know how valuable her blood was and to make sure he fed her his blood, but was fucking clueless when it came to knowing just what he had in his hands.” Seonghwa sighed, leaning back in his seat now that he had no chance of stealing you away from him. 

Hongjoong’s eyes trailed back down to your sleeping figure as the conversation turned towards business; Yunjin wondering whether or not she could count on them to keep her supply of your blood in stock. She had been right when she had said things were all the more thrilling when they didn’t know what exactly was going on, but ignorance would only work for so long on you. Whether it was a few months or a few years, eventually the truth would come out. And when it did, he didn’t doubt it would end up ugly. But no matter how much you fought or struggled, it didn’t matter. You were theirs now. Nothing you did could or would separate yourself from them now. They had made sure of it. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

taglists will be added in reblogs :) if you don't see yourself tagged, it might be because i missed you (which is a complete possibility as i do tend to miss a few. the easiest way to make sure i didn't is to send an ask!)

[thelargefrye]

SWEET HOME … drabble

pairing : yeosang x f!reader (background poly ateez)

genre : non-idol au, fluff, established relationship

warnings : language, nightmares

note : in the same universe as CALMING DAYS and YOU ARE MY UNIVERSE.

yeosang’s worried he when can’t find you in the apartment.

yeosang hates having nightmares. he's pretty sure its the worst way to wake up, and trust him, he's woken up to wooyoung's annoying loud laughter and the fire alarm too many times. but he hates nightmares even more when they involve his lovers.

this nightmare basically knocked the wind out of him because it involved you. you, his precious love, who has gone through so much with him and the others. you, their last addition to their small family and finally moving in with them. he loves you and hates thinking about the idea of you being upset because of him. because him and the other's failed to prove their love to you.

yeosang hated those nightmares that only took his worried and blew them up. seeing dream you cry made him want to cry in real life. so that's why yeosang immediately tries to reach out for you when he wakes up. but the sense of dread runs through him when he realizes that you are not in bed with him.

turning over he sees the spot that you are suppose to be in empty and a sense of panic rushes through him as he thinks back to his nightmare. at the end right before he woke up, you left him, them. you left with tears in your eyes and your bags packed, leaving them forever.

where were you? he thinks as he throws the comforter off of him and head out of your recently shared bedroom – your bedroom still in the redecorating stage. the guest bedroom slash home office being turned into your bedroom. your bedroom in their, now your, apartment.

yeosang felt disheveled all over as he rushed through the apartment checking all the rooms. he even checked your room to see if you were in there, unpacking, but alas it was empty. the boxes and suitcases still there untouched.

then he made it to the kitchen and living room where he found seonghwa in the kitchen. the eldest turned to look at his younger boyfriend with a look of concern when he heard him running through the apartment.

"what's wrong, yeosang?"

"where's y/n?" yeosang ask, feeling his nerves and worry grow by the second.

"y/n?" seonghwa repeats your name like he's confused by it.

"yes, y/n, our girlfriend! where is she?"

"whoa, yeosang calm down," seonghwa says as he rounds the counter in order to comfort yeosang. he sits him down at the dining table before he adds, "y/n will be back. she and yunho went to the store."

"she did? when? why didn't she wake me up?" yeosang feels a rush of emotions come over him and knowing that you just went to store and didn't leave makes him want to cry. his nightmare wasn't becoming a reality and you would be home to him soon.

"silly, she didn't wake you because she went to the store for you," seonghwa says, running a hand through yeosang's bedhead. "now what's wrong? why were you looking for her and storming through the apartment like a madman?"

"i had... fuck, i had a nightmare about y/n leaving us. she told us she could tell we didn't love her and couldn't stay in a place she wasn't welcomed. fuck," yeosang can't stop the tears at remembering how heartbroken you looked, "hwa, i love her so much. when i woke up and she wasn't there next to me... i was afraid that she actually left."

"oh baby," seonghwa says pulling yeosang into his arms and comforting him. "y/n won't leave us because she knows how much we love her. she knows how much you love her. it was just a bad dream, don't think about it anymore, okay?"

right after seonghwa said that, the apartment door opened and your voice rang out softly as you called out yours and yunho's return. yeosang immediately stood up and made his way over towards the door where he sees you struggling a little bit in taking your shoes off, a small white box in your hands. yunho standing behind you with bags in his own hands. seonghwa comes past him and takes the box out of your hands, giving you and yunho quick kisses.

when you finally step into the living room, yunho moving past you with the bags, that's when you notice yeosang standing there looking at you.

"oh, yeosang, hap–

you don't get the chance to finish as yeosang rushes over and presses his lips to your own. the kiss catches you off guard as yeosang holds you close to him and you rests your hands on his shoulders as his wrap your waist. when he pulls away you look at your boyfriend with a surprised look.

"what was that, yeo?" you ask as you cup his face and you watch him melt into your touch.

"i... i love you, that's all," he tells you and you smile at his words.

"i love you too. happy birthday, love," you tell him and that's when yeosang remembers that today was in fact his birthday. that explains why you and yunho went to the store, to get food and cake for his dinner later tonight.

yeosang doesn't say anything, but instead brings you close in order to hug you. "i love you," he whispers again, feeling tears build up again as he holds you close to him. "i love you so much."

"i love you too, yeosang. so, so much," you say back, your hands running down his back.

"i'm so glad you're hear with me and seonghwa and yunho and the others. we all love you so much. thank you for moving in with us," he says and you pull away from the hug, a confused laugh leaving your lips as you look at yeosang.

"what's all this about so suddenly?" you ask but yeosang shakes his head.

"don't worry about it, i'll tell you later. why don't you go help seonghwa and yunho while i go get changed," yeosang says and you smile at your longest boyfriend, pressing one last kiss to his lips before you're shuffling off to the kitchen.

yeosang can't help but smile as he watches yunho tease you, both of you with wide grins as seonghwa wraps his arms around you, a soft smile on his face as well. he can't help but breathe a sigh of relief because he knows that you won't be leaving them anytime soon.

suffer with me tag : @sanjoongie @songmingisthighs

tag list (bold means unable to tag) : @invuwrld @frankenstein852 @watamotee33 @kawennote09 @mixling-blog @marahleiwhen @kpopnightingale @harry-the-pottypus @rdiamond2727 @sanniesbum @marvelahsobx @khjcoo @mysticfire0435 @exfolitae @kryybebe @dementedaly @simeonswhore @moonm1st @nvmbheart @spooo00oky @frogogh @marsanhwa @kryukyustar @sookacc @seongwin @melomatz

[azsazz]

Dead by Dawn (Part 11)

Azriel x Cassian x Reader

Summary: Zombie!AU: It’s been a while since the end of the world.

Warnings: Blood, gore, injury, graphic depictions of violence, eventual poly!relationship, slow burn, undead, death, mentions of cannibalism.

Word Count: 5,446

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8) (Part 9) (Part 10)

Notes: Thank you for being so patient! I'm excited 💙

_________________________________________

Day 193

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

“This absolutely fucking sucks,” Azriel pants. He’s pushing a rotted car from behind, Feyre next to him and Cassian in the front seat, steering. Rust flakes off onto his hands and the copper against the pink flesh reminds him of the burns when they had been fresh. He rips his gaze away, focusing instead on the sweat pouring down his face, the blaring sun beating down on his back. “Who’s idea was this anyway, and why the fuck is Cassian steering?”

Feyre cuts him a glare, and for the first time she chooses not to reply with the snippy retort pressing at the back of her teeth. She can’t anyway, her mouth is too dry.

After getting back on the road at first light, you and your group had run into a small traffic jam of abandoned cars blocking the highway. There was no way to get around the mass of piled up cars, the shoulder of the asphalt too narrow for the van. 

There had been debate about turning around, trying to find another way through the city, but the van was low on gas and you all had decided that you could search for gas to siphon from the cars as you were moving them out of the van's path. 

Cassian swings around in the front seat, ducking his head out of the driver’s door where the window is smashed in, a glower on his face. Sweat beads across his forehead and his hair is damp, pulled back into a fraying knot at the back of his head. “Well, someone has to steer, and my leg still hurts,” he complains, and a part of Azriel wonders just how long he’ll be milking this injury. The other part of him knows that Cassian isn’t lying, because when he’d tried to slip a hand up his thigh while they were on watch together it drew a pained hiss from the other man.

“Hello there,” you call, dragging their attention from where they’re all glaring at each other. It’s hot and everyone is tired, hungry, and dehydrated, so tempers are running hot. With the addition of backbreaking labor and lack of gas, it will be any moment before someone snaps.

You sit comfortably in the front seat of a red convertible, grinning widely at the three, as if seeing your happy attitude could break the tension. Feyre’s lips tighten and you nearly shrink away from her harsh gaze, but you had been helping move the cars out of the way at one point, unlike Cassian.

The sleek vehicle looks as if it might have been in mint condition when the world had all gone to shit, but the leather now peels from the seats, worn from the elements.

Azriel stops pushing the car to wipe a drop of sweat from his brow. If Feyre isn’t going to help him then he’s not doing it alone, especially with someone as big as Cassian in the front seat. He crosses his arms over his chest, panting slightly from the effort and leans his hip against the trunk of the vehicle, trying his best to blink away the exertion he feels. His chest tightens at your grin and the sunglasses perched on your sun-kissed nose.

“Are those mine?”

You shove the glasses up, baring your eyes to him, twinkling and squinting from the sun. His heart kicks in his chest at the sight of the beaming grin on your face. It seems like your talk last night had helped, for you’re acting a little more like yourself today. 

Azriel bites back the twitch of his lips.

“These old things? Hang on, let me check,” you respond coolly, pulling down the visor to check yourself in the mirror. “Oh, yeah. Yup. These are definitely not mine.” You send a sly grin to the golden eyed man before flipping the mirror back into its place. As you do so, the corner of it catches your eye as it snaps back into place and you flinch hard, squawking as you cover the sting with your hand.

The irritated look slides off of Feyre’s face as she bursts into laughter at your clumsiness. “Oh my gods,” she wheezes your name like it’s such a struggle to get out, “That was too perfect!”

Your cheeks blaze as the group chuckles, and thankfully you can blame it on the sun. Looks like your terrible luck streak has followed you across state lines. After taking a look around at the group, the air much happier than it had been when Rhys had pushed you up to them, you find yourself joining in on the laughter as well. You’ve all needed this, a good laugh after a tough time, and the tightness in everyone’s shoulders ebbs away slowly.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m a joke,” you roll your eyes playfully, “Let’s go Rhys.”

“Ugh, I don’t want to do this anymore,” Feyre complains, slumping against the back of the trunk next to Azriel.

“You think you don’t want to do this,” Rhys remarks, “At least you’ve got Az helping you, I have to push (Y/N)’s ass around all by myself!”

“Hey,” you whine, twisting further around in your seat, “You think my ass is big, though?”

Cassian and Feyre roll into another fit of laughter while Rhys shakes his head and looks up at the sky as if asking ‘why me?’

“Cassian’s is the biggest,” he plays along finally, grinning with his best friend who has climbed out of the stuffy front seat to hear the conversation better.

“No doubt,” he chuckles, “But Az’s is the tightest.” 

The three of them cackle, and to you and Feyre it should seem like an inside joke. But the twinge in your chest tells you that there’s something loaded in Cassian’s words, and the nervous flicker of Azriel’s gaze towards you only confirms it.

“Alright, alright,” Azriel says, face trained into that harshly stoic one he’s so fond of wearing. “Back to work, we’re almost done. We’ve been sitting ducks out here for far too long.”

His words sober the rest of your group up and you all seem to check your surroundings, realizing just how off guard you’d all been while you were joking around. The highway seems quiet, but that can all change in the span of a heartbeat.

Rhys braces his hands on the trunk of the convertible, his muscles straining against the fabric of his graphic t-shirt, sticking to his skin with sweat. 

You swear you catch Feyre drooling.

After a few more cars have been moved out of the way, you and Cassian watching with amusement and pretending to be doing an imperative job like steering, you’ve all sufficiently cleared a path for the van to fit through. The line of cars you’ve moved is uneven and Cassian may have crashed some into each other, but overall, you think that you all did a fantastic job.

“Now, to find gas,” Rhys announces, wiping his brow with the bottom of his shirt. The motion shows off some impressive abs. You whistle while Feyre cat calls him playfully in unison. The unpronounced leader of your group rolls his eyes in response, smirking as he flexes a little before letting the fabric drop back down.

“We should split up, it’ll be quicker to check the cars,” Feyre adds. She looks drained from the energy spent pushing the vehicles but her gray gaze is hungry, eating up Rhys as she looks him up and down, unblinking.

Azriel shrugs, still panting a little from the effort of shoving the last big truck out of the way. It was easily almost three times the size of any of the other cars, with its lifted suspension and meaty wheels, complete with a gaudy silver hitch that’s shaped like a ballsack. He had needed both Cassian and Rhys’ help to move the monstrous thing. “Works for me.”

“Cassian, (Y/N), you stay closer to the van,” Rhys tells you, and when you and Cass are on the verge of protesting, Feyre glares at you, shutting the both of you up quickly.

“I’ll take that end,” Azriel points to the far end of the line, where he’d just had help moving the last car. He begins trudging his way up the line, shoving his hands deep into his pockets.

Rhys and Feyre walk with him until they reach a third of the way, where the former drops off to begin his own search for gasoline to siphon. Feyre stays beside Azriel until they hit the second third of the cars, where she begins to look.

The line of cars isn’t that long, maybe twenty vehicles or so, but right now it feels like he has to walk four miles to reach the end. He’s tired beyond belief, even though you’ve had a - for the most part - easy past few days, with the exception of you being taken. Exerting his energy and lack of nutrients, mixing with the bright sun beating down on him, Azriel feels like he could fall asleep right there on the pavement.

The faster you find the gas, the faster you can take a nap.

He begins his search, skipping past the big truck and kicking at its tire on the way. There’s no way that thing even takes the same kind of fuel as the van, and he’s holding a grudge against the thing for being so fucking heavy, moving on to the sedan next to it.

Its gas tank is barren, and so is the one on the next car. He looks down the line at the group as he makes his way, and he wonders if he can climb up on the front of one of these rusted vehicles and sit for a bit while everyone else looks for gas.

While Azriel is thinking of slacking off a bit, he doesn’t notice the nearly disintegrated hand reaching from underneath the car until it latches onto his leg, tripping him. He yelps and goes down hard, twisting around frantically to get a look at the ugly thing dragging itself closer to him.

“Shit,” he hisses, kicking at the zombies face. His foot connects with a sickening crunch, its brittle jaw cracking off and clattering onto the asphalt. It makes his stomach roil but the undead being doesn’t falter, it’s fraying nails biting into the fabric of his pants.

He scrambles for the knife at his belt. He shoves a booted foot at the zombie again, and now he hears someone yelling after him. It’s Feyre, he thinks.

“Azriel, watch out!”

But the warning is too late. Another zombie lunges at him, appearing as if from nowhere. How had he not heard these stupid, clumsy creatures? 

It knocks the knife from his grip and if Azriel didn’t know how braindead these things were he would feel as though it was a well thought out attack.

He’s panicking now, heart facing in his chest. Sweat is getting in his eyes, stinging them and making it hard to see as he struggles against the two zombies, the hot asphalt burning through his clothing. He’s defenseless, up against two undead that are just as hungry as he is, and he doesn’t know if there are more on the way.

Azriel bucks his legs again, ripping them free from the zombies feeble grip. It’s jawless, so it wouldn’t be able to fully bite down on his flesh, but it still poses a massive threat, and the thing is fucking disgusting, he wants it nowhere near him. 

He tries to hold off the other that’s groaning and reaching for his face. His fingers are curled around the zombie's throat and the skin splits, black blood thick and dripping between his fingers. His aching muscles scream in pain from all of the work he’s just done and he doesn’t know how long he can keep it up.

His golden eyes squeeze shut just as Feyre’s scythe plunges through the head of the zom he’s holding up. The thing goes slack in his arms immediately and something drips onto his face, but Azriel seems unconcerned as he shoves the limp body off of him. 

When he opens his eyes he’s met with the sight of Feyre taking the other one down, pulling a few clumps of hair on its head before she cuts cleanly into the spot that severs its head from its neck.

“Are you okay?” she asks through her pants, scanning the area for more.

“Y-yeah,” he lies. His heart is racing and he checks himself over mindlessly, feeling for any signs of bites or scratches that may have occurred. When it’s his third time feeling over himself a hand enters his line of vision and his trembling fingers falter. He looks up, eyes wide.

Feyre is holding a hand out to him.

Feyre saved him.

Feyre hates him.

Or does she?

Azriel takes her hand in his and lets her help pull him to his feet just as Rhys reaches them, Cassian and you close behind, worried looks painted across all of your faces.

You shove the sunglasses up into your hair, eyes flooded with concern for the golden eyed boy. “Oh my gods, Az! Are you okay?”

The gaze that has settled on Cassian’s, eyebrows relaxing with relief, turn to you.

Azriel offers you a forced smile that no one believes. “Yeah, I’m all good.”

“You have to be more careful, Az,” Rhys says, sending him a stern look from where he’s looking over Feyre, wiping her bloody hands on his shirt.

“I know,” Azriel groans, scrubbing at his face. He’s exhausted and just wants to lie down, presumably with Cassian at his side and you on the other, or in his lap like when he’d carried you injured through the woods. “Please tell me one of you found gas.”

Cassian kicks a rock, everyone shaking their heads sadly.

“None of the cars had any gas?” He figured that at least one out of the many that you’d all moved would have a little bit of fuel.

“Shit,” Azriel sighs, “Now what?”

You all stand in a circle, thinking. None of you really want to abandon the van, the only place you’ve felt safe since you’d shacked up with the three men, but no one has thought of a better idea.

Your attention is stolen by the low groan of a zombie. It’s shuffling out of the trees a few yards away, and where there’s one, there are sure to be more. And now that Feyre and Azriel had killed two, you knew it would only be a matter of minutes before more appeared. Everyone stiffens at the flocking undead.

“We should go.” 

No one protests as you all begin to head back to the van. You unsheath your knife and find Cassian doing the same. Feyre’s scythe twitches in her fingers, like she’s itching to go again. Rhys has pulled a pistol from his waistband, and Azriel assesses the path back to the vehicle, twisting his blade in his still shaky hand.

Cassian presses the keys into your hand and you light up at the sight. He’s one pace in front of you, a wall of protection that makes your heart warm at the sentiment. He won’t let you be taken again. 

“Fuck, yes. It’s about time!”

Azriel’s mouth curls in the corner at your amusement, even more so when Feyre mutters under her breath when she sees the way that you’re spinning the keyring around your finger. 

“Oh gods.”

You huff, clutching the keys tightly in your fist as if she’s going to reach out and grab them from you.

“I’m not that bad at driving,” you promise, trying to reassure the men who are all giving you suspicious looks.

“I’m not the one that crashed my driver’s education car,” Feyre makes a face.

“I told you that in confidence,” you hiss and she snorts. “Well, at least I can stay inside of the lines on the road.”

Your companion rolls her eyes and you’re thankful that the three men with you continue watching the undead creatures trailing you because all you’re focused on right now is clearing your name. 

“Yeah, because staying in the lines is so important right now. I’ll surely be more careful, with all of this traffic and all.”

As fun as witnessing you and Feyre go at it is, Azriel climbs into the back of the van, collapsing on the seat after bunching the dirty blanket under his head. He shuts his eyes and breathes out a long sigh, leaving Rhys and Cassian to take care of you and Feyre’s bickering, too exhausted to put in the energy.

“Easy, ladies,” Cassian grins, trying to ease the tension. His hands come down on your shoulders with a squeeze as he guides you away from Feyre to the driver’s side. “There will be all the time in the world for bickering about who’s the best driver when we find a safehouse.”

Feyre responds but you don’t hear it over the rumble of the engine turning over. Cassian slides into the passenger seat and Rhys sits nearest the front, letting you know that everyone’s ready to go, a weary look on his face.

“We might be able to make it to the next town,” you say hopefully, looking at the fuel gauge. There’s just under an eighth of a tank and your stomach turns uneasily. What if there’s nothing else out there and the van goes completely empty? 

“If we see any cars we can jump out and check the tanks for fuel. Hopefully we will find something,” Rhys suggests, before adding, “Let’s get moving before the horde catches up. (Y/N), the gas pedal is the one on the right.”

You scowl, shoving the shifter into drive.

“Should I be holding onto this handle?” Cassian jokes as the car jerks forward.

You cut him a look but the playful smile on his face eases your sour mood. His eyes dart to the back of the van, noticing Azriel’s sleeping form and the way that Rhys and Feyre are tucked in tight, presumably making a plan for where to head to next. Cassian snakes a hand across the leather seats to settle it on your thigh.

You startle at the feeling but he gives you a gentle squeeze and you relax into the seat a little, keeping your eyes straight on the road.

Neither of you mention it.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

You don’t find any gas. In fact, you don’t see a single car on the fifteen mile journey into the next town. 

“We’re doomed,” Feyre groans, eyeing the fuel gauge over your shoulder. The orange line is dipping dangerously low to empty.

“All good things must come to an end eventually,” Cassian says sadly, like he’s about to give the van a proper eulogy. His gaze slides around the interior of the van, taking in all of the scattered belongings, and then each person in turn. His hazel eyes linger on Azriel’s before he straightens in his seat.

The air is thick. Leaving the van behind means leaving safety, a quick getaway, and your home.

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” Azriel says, a little stern. He refuses to believe that this is the end for the van. “We can check out this town, stay the night in the van, and in the morning we will take it as far as we can. If we still don’t find anything, we reassess or continue on foot.”

Feyre shrugs, “Works for me. I need to start checking towns anyway, look for signs my sisters might’ve left if they’ve had to move.” Her shoulders are tight with the thought of her sisters being in trouble and possibly having to be on the move.

You knew that this was a very real possibility, that you’d run out of gas someday or that something would happen to the gaudy baby pink van. The one piece of solace you could actually find yourself relaxing in, might no longer be an option.

“Maybe we’ll find a nice abandoned house with a tall fence and solar panels,” you sigh, shutting off the engine. 

You can only hope.

Feyre indulges you, nudging you with her elbow, a soft grin on her face. “Oh, and the pantry will be fully stocked. It’ll be filled with ho-hos and twinkies and cereal of all kinds!”

Everyone’s smiling now, taking the chance for one last laugh before things get serious.

“And a soccer net in the backyard!”

“And a pool,” Cassian adds, and you can picture the man laying on a floatie underneath the burning sun.

Your cheeks twinge pink.

“And a movie theater room!”

Everyone’s shouting out suggestions now, giggling and giddy. Azriel smiles, admiring each and every one of his friends in turn. Cassian, with his wide smile and the crinkles by his eyes, making his heart falter in his chest. Feyre, who, up until she’d saved him, had not been his biggest fan. Rhys, whose nose is scrunched with his smile, the long lines of his smile curled up, the dimple in his cheek visible. And finally, you, whose eyes are sparkling. Your laughter is melodic, complimenting Cassian’s lower chortle, the sound reverberating through his bones.

Feyre sighs, relaxing back into her seat, the remnants of her grin still gracing her features. “Oh, man, that would really be something.”

“What are the odds we build it ourselves?” Cassian asks, and everyone turns to look at him. He only shrugs, continuing, “Think about it. Say we find a house with a fence, that’s already at least a little protection. If the house has a pool, that’s even better. Some are probably still in decent shape, and it would be easy to tell if they aren’t.”

As he continues, his plan actually starts to sound feasible.

“We can barricade it for even more protection, bring the van and maybe we’ll find some gas eventually. We scour the neighborhood, and finally, we won’t have to be on the run every single day. And I have all of my seeds,” he says, puffing his chest proudly, “If we have somewhere safe we’d have a steady food supply.”

“And if anything should happen – and I pray that it doesn’t, but I have a little medical experience,” you tack on.

Feyre rolls her eyes and crosses her arms over her chest, pouting. “I chose a really bad time to major in art,” she mumbles.

Everyone turns to Az and Rhys, seeing what they think. They share a glance and Azriel shrugs in response. They can see clearly how tired everyone is, see it in the way your walks become longer, your sleep schedules become later, lethargic and endlessly exhausted. With you and Cassian not back at 100% yet, having a place for everyone to spread out and not be so on top of each other does sound quite nice.

“Alright,” Rhys agrees, and the van erupts into another round of cheers. “But, we have to make a plan, a fool proof one. How are we going to find your sisters, Fey? What is the guard schedule going to be like and who will be leading scouts through towns. I’m talking about exit strategy, rendezvous, how long we wait for each other if something goes wrong. We go over everything, and we don’t let our guard down.”

Everyone nods, agreeing. Az’s shoulders relax a little knowing that everyone will continue to stay conscious.

“Alright,” Rhys says, looking each and every person in the eyes. “That’s what we’re going to do. Gear up, we’ve got some house hunting to do.”

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

“What about that one?”

“No,” Feyre makes a face.

“Why not?”

“I don’t like the shutters.”

Rhys sighs, shaking his head a little. “You’ve vetoed every house we’ve suggested.”

Cassian complains at the exact same time, “Shutters could help keep the zoms away. Extra protection.”

“Well, it’s not my fault all of these houses are ugly,” she defends, clearly grumpy.

You nudge Azriel’s elbow and roll your eyes dramatically at your friend. The corner of his mouth twitches and amusement sparkles his golden eyes. It makes your heart stutter in your chest.

He is truly so beautiful.

“Well, you have your pick of the block, Fey,” you answer, “Which one do you like?”

Everyone watches her look around, turning slowly as she assesses the block. Her gray eyes are sharp, examining every house in her line of vision. Eventually, she sighs, hands on her hips and exclaims, “None of these are screaming ‘best safe house in the world’ to me.”

The entire group seems to groan collectively and Feyre gasps, clutching a hand to her chest. “Excuse me, but I thought we all had a collective dream of what we wanted in a safehouse! Maybe you all should’ve lowered your standards a bit and we wouldn’t be in this mess!”

“C’mon, Fey,” you drape yourself across her back, hooking your chin over her shoulder. “We have to find something so that we can prepare it before nightfall. Please, pick something.”

“Alright,” she sighs, “Let’s go.”

Azriel’s brows furrow as you begin walking again, the slight limp in your step has him silently moving closer, flanking your other side so he can protect you if something happens. You notice his presence and beam up at him. He doesn’t have a chance to respond because you’re already looking at Feyre, who’s asking you something.

It’s another hour before Feyre finally decides on a house. You swear you’ve been up and down this block six times before but you don’t mention it, best not to when everyone is sweating and hungry.

The house is gated, but the lock is broken and the gate swings open easily, letting you all in. 

With Rhys’ help, he and Azriel wrap the fence with the chain you’d stuffed into your bag from the night you’d met them, when you and Feyre were taking cover in the clothing shop. 

“Looks good so far, Feyre,” Azriel compliments, and you think it might be the first time you’ve ever heard them interact quite like this. Since she’s saved him from the two zombies coming after him, he’s been a lot nicer to your companion.

The property is large, and Azriel scans it for any signs of movement. He’s already formulating a schedule in his head, who will take shifts with who and when, walking the property in the morning and maybe a few times throughout the day, at least until they’ve barricaded it better, and then a duo on watch while the rest sleep.

You trek up the small hill that the house is perched on. “Better to be at a high vantage point,” Feyre had said when she’d pointed it out.

“(Y/N), Cass, Fey, do you think you can stand watch out here while Rhys and I take a look inside?” Azriel asks as you all make your way up the stone steps to the large home.

“Sure, I’ll find the house and keep watch,” Feyre mutters in response. “Better not steal the room I want, Shadow.”

And there she is.

“By all means,” Azriel gestures to the door, rolling his eyes at the stupid nickname that seems to be haunting him. “If you want to check the house with Rhys, I’ll stay out here.”

“We’re not helpless, you know,” you say, face scrunched in a pout. Your arms are folded across your chest and you’re leaning heavily on your good foot. You almost look convincing, until Cassian bops you on the nose and you break out into a smile, shoving at him playfully.

“Look alive,” Rhys nods towards the gate where a lone zombie is dragging itself down the street. It hasn’t spotted you yet, and if everyone’s quiet, it won’t. Rhys and Feyre nod at each other and with their weapons poised and ready, Rhys heads for the door.

It’s locked.

“Didn’t see that one coming,” he comments, staring at the door like it should be open for them. Like someone hadn’t been hiding out in this house as the chaos around them took over.

“Let’s try the back,” Feyre suggests. 

It’s golden hour now, and the sun will be dipping down soon. You need to find a way inside without making too much noise because there’s no way you’re making it back to the car by nightfall.

You all move around the house only to see more stairs.

You make a face at your throbbing ankle. “Come open the front door for me. I’m not walking down all those stairs.”

“Yeah, I think I’ll stay here too,” Cassian agrees, winking at you. His leg has been feeling a lot better, but it’s not quite healed up as much as he’d like and all of the walking today has irritated the stitches, leg itching underneath the sweat-soaked bandages.

He’ll need you to change them soon.

Azriel turns to Rhys and Feyre, who both look at each other and shrug. 

“Be back in a minute, then,” Rhys says, taking the lead.

Azriel follows behind you and Cassian, and your chest tightens uncomfortably. You still don't know what is going on between the two of them and you can feel it all bubbling up inside of you now that it’s the three of you alone. Has Cassian just been using you? But he seemed just as eager to kiss you as you were to kiss him. 

It is the end of the world…maybe the two of them aren’t a thing? Not official? Maybe they’re just friends who like to lose themselves in another friend? The thoughts swirling around your head make you dizzy, and you nearly collapse next to Cassian on the stone fence enclosing the front porch. You lift your leg up onto Casisan’s lap, who laughs heartily as you nearly demand for him to rub your aching leg.

“Spoiled,” he murmurs, but his warm hands knead at your tender muscles.

The grip Azriel has around his knife tightens unconsciously at the sight of you both and he turns away so they don’t catch the pinched reaction on his face. 

He’s jealous. Of you, being massaged by Cassian, so effortlessly taking what you want. Of Cassian, because he gets to touch you and receive smiles instead of flinches in return.

It’s like torture, the thirty minutes or so that you’re sitting out front, waiting for Feyre and Rhys to clear the house. You wonder if they were using up this time to finally fuck, the tension between the two of them thicker than that you’re creating between you, Cassain, and Azriel.

You and Cassian seem off in your own world, the large man talking lowly into your ear, and he watches you giggle in response. Or the sneaky poke to your side that made you squirm and squeal. Azriel watches Cassian’s fingers travel further and further up the leg of your pants, and he shifts as the back of his neck grows hot.

Finally, the front door clicks open, revealing Rhys who lets everyone know that the home is clear.

“Anything?” Azriel asks as he passes his friend.

“Nah. Seems like it was abandoned a while ago. No food, but there’s beds,” he explains, and all of a sudden it hits him, just how tired he actually is.

“Yeah?” Azriel knows he sounds hopeful. He must look like it too because Rhys’ gaze on him softens and he places a comforting hand on his shoulder with a nod. He can’t remember the last time he’s actually slept in a bed, it’s been in the back of his van for what seems like forever. The vehicle wasn’t the worst place he’s had to sleep. No, that would be the one time he and his friends slept in a dumpster. He shudders at the memory. This, he thinks, is better than winning the lottery.

“Yeah,” Rhys confirms, violet eyes sparkling. He opens his mouth to say something else but is cut off by your shriek of glee as Feyre hugs you so tightly you both topple to the floor.

“This feels really good, Az. I think we might be able to stay awhile.”

Azriel chews his lip. He hates being the one who always has to think about safety and how badly things might turn out, but if anyone is going to do it, it’s him. He wishes that this is something you can all pull off, staying here, but he doesn’t have that sure feeling in his stomach. 

He doesn’t voice his concern though, everyone is too happy right now.

Instead, he agrees gently. “Yeah, maybe.”

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

DBD Taglist: @writingsbychlo @kemillyfreitas @5moremin @dream-alittlebiggerdarling @waggel36 @bionic-donut @que-serasera @applepie02 @azrielsbabyg @arcadianmoonlight @pradaxstyles @illyrian-dreamer @secret-ly-here @reiincarnatiion @fuckthatfeeling @shadowsingersmate24 @harrystylesfan2686 @poppyalice2001

[wannabegwenstacy]

Eden's Favorite BTS Fics: A03

Updated: 3/29/2023

A/N: I tend to read member x member on both A03 & Twitter so if thats what you are looking for then precede. If you are looking for reader insert I suggest checking out my tumblr fic recs since I tend to read those on tumblr.

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⇣Below cut⇣

Galaxy Series on A03 by Lilmochimoch

Pairings: Poly Bangtan. Jungkook’s POV most of the time.

Genre: Fantasy / Modern Magic / Mythical

Eden’s Notes: BEST FIC EVER! HIGHLY RECOMMEND!

The Impossible Door:  Part 1

Chapters: 20

Total Wordcount: 144,627

Summary: Jungkook is sick of being stalked by a door. So when the door shows up in his apartment one day, he finally decides to open it.

(Alternatively, Jungkook has a busy enough life trying to manage school and two jobs, now this strange door keeps appearing everywhere he goes. The day he opens it, he’s thrown into a new kind of adventure that might be the greatest thing that’s ever happened to him, but might also be his greatest mistake.)

Tags: Jeon Jungkook/Everyone, Jeon Jungkook, Park Jimin (BTS), Kim Taehyung | V, Kim Seokjin | Jin, Kim Namjoon | RM, Min Yoongi | Suga, Jung Hoseok | J-Hope, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Immortals, Mythical Beings & Creatures, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, OT7Drama & Romance, Jeon Jungkook is a Little Shit, Gen Z humour, Boys aren’t sure how human’s work, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, minor injury, hardworking kookie, Protective Bangtan Boys | BTS, Dimension Travel, night security guard jungkook, Angst, Powers/Abilities, Blood and Injury, Hurt Jeon Jungkook, Rating May Change, Racism between non-human/human, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Sex, Homophobia, Sexual Tension, Implied/Referenced Suicide, References to Depression, Feels, Polyamory, Gun Violence, Explicit Language, Homophobic Language, Praise Kink, Strength Kink, My First Smut, Smut, Drugs, Gangs, Violence, Healthy Relationships, Switch Jeon Jungkook, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Temporary Character Death, Jeon Jungkook Dies, but I bring him back I swear, he doesn’t stay dead

To You: Part 2

Chapters: 42

Wordcount: 356,441

Summary: Sequel to An Impossible Door. The guys are faced with more adventures and more struggles as they learn how to be a family. Pasts come back and old hardships are faced once again, but through it all, they have each other.

Tags: Jeon Jungkook/Jung Hoseok/Kim Namjoon/Kim Seokjin/Kim Taehyung/Min Yoongi/Park Jimin, Jeon Jungkook/Everyone, Jeon Jungkook, Min Yoongi | Suga, Kim Namjoon | RM, Kim Taehyung | V, Kim Seokjin | Jin, Jung Hoseok | J-Hope, Park Jimin (BTS), Yeontan (BTS), Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Tags May Change, Immortal Kim Namjoon | RM, Mythical Beings & Creatures, Phoenix Min Yoongi, OT7, Drama & Romance, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Minor Injuries, Protective Bangtan Boys | BTS, Dimension Travel, Fae Park Jimin, fae Kim Taehyung, Homophobia, Racism between non-human/human, Blood and Injury, Smut, Feels, Healthy Relationships, Violence, Praise Kink, Strength Kink, Voyeurism, angel Kim Seokjin, Dragon Jung Hoseok, Rating May Change, Polyamory, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Switch Jeon Jungkook, Dom/sub, Domestic Fluff, Dom Kim Namjoon | RM, Dom Jung Hoseok | J-Hope, Bottom Park Jimin (BTS), Bottom Kim Taehyung | V, Power Bottom Min Yoongi | Suga, Switch Kim Seokjin | Jin, Switch Min Yoongi | Suga, Possessive Behaviorin A HEALTHY WAY, past emotional abuse, Homophobic Language, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Past Abuse, Implied/Referenced Torture, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Bad Parenting, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Past Conversion Therapy, Minor Character Death, Sex Toys, Torture

;Eternally: Part 3 

Chapters: 5/__ still updating!

Wordcount: 31,052 still updating!

Summary: Stepping through that door so long ago had not been a mistake. It was not something he would ever come to regret. Regardless of the hardships he’d faced and would come to face. Jungkook, even now, as a war waged on around them, couldn’t bring himself to regret a single moment.

Tags: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Jeon Jungkook/Everyone, Jeon Jungkook/Jung Hoseok/Kim Namjoon/Kim Seokjin/Kim Taehyung/Min Yoongi/Park Jimin, Jeon Jungkook, Kim Taehyung | V, Kim Namjoon | RM, Kim Seokjin | Jin, Min Yoongi | Suga, Park Jimin (BTS), Jung Hoseok | J-Hope, Bad Parenting, conversion therapy, Original Character(s), Original Character Death(s), Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Healthy Relationships, Polyamory, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Blood and Injury, Violence, Gun Violence, Read the series tags, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Torture, Ki-jung sucks, yes it made the tags, Adventure, Drama, Magical Realism, Alternate Universe - Magical Realism, Phoenix - Freeform, dragon - Freeform, angel - Freeform, Scout Protection Squad, Immortal, Weather Fae, Water Fae, so much love

Opening Doors: Side Stories

Summary: Collection of adventures requested and missing from the main story of the Galaxy Series.

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Vitrail on A03 by Melarose

Pairings: Jungkook/Taehyung (side pairings in later chapters too)

Genre: Fantasy / Witches / Familiars

Chapters: 9

Total Wordcount: 164,872

Summary: For Jeon Jeongguk, a newly graduated witch hoping to become a powerful mage, the biggest mystery of his life has always been his missing familiar. He prays he’ll be assigned a mentor who will help him find it, eagerly awaiting the chance to prove himself. Instead, he’s assigned to the infamous Kim Taehyung, the reclusive groundskeeper of the Arboretum who seems to cultivate more secrets than he does plants.

Tags: Jeon Jungkook/Kim Taehyung | V, Jeon Jungkook, Kim Taehyung | V, Park Jimin (BTS), Jung Hoseok | J-Hope, Kim Namjoon | RM, Min Yoongi | Suga, Kim Seokjin | Jin, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Witch Jeon Jungkook, Witch Kim Taehyung | V, Top Kim Taehyung | V, Bottom Jeon Jungkook, pls dont read based on dynamic its not significant, Mention of blood, Violence, Heavy Angst, Slow Burn, Familiars, Eventual Smut, Fluff, lots and lots of magic, Jeon Jungkook & Park Jimin are Roommates, headmaster yoongi, Scholar Namjoon, Healer Seokjin, Witch Park Jimin (BTS), Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending, abusive parenting, Nightmares, Minor Character Death, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Temporary Character Death, Alternate Universe - College/University, Themes around death and death magic, no MC death ever though, Please read notes!, i keep being told the angst is just sad and not really heavy

Eden’s Notes: I love this world so much!! also witch taehyung is such a cutie and sweetheart. I adore his character.

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The Truth’s Worth by @Lecrit on A03

Pairings: Kim Seokjin x Min Yoongi (jung hoseok x kim namjoon as a side)

Genre: Modern Royalty AU / Friends with Benefits / Slow Burn

Chapters: 24

Total Wordcount: 223,093

Summary: “I’m the future king and I’m gay. I can’t afford dating or romance,” Seokjin says, calm and far more collected than the situation should call for. “I can afford convenience, though, and someone for whom a purely physical arrangement is mutually beneficial. What I have with Yoongi is good. Convenient.” .. “Can’t you just say ‘fuck buddy’ like the rest of us?” Taehyung groans, somehow both frustrated and still deeply amused. At Seokjin’s pointed glare, he grins, wide and saccharine, and adds, “Your Royal Highness,” with a derisive bow.

or Prince Seokjin lives in a world of lies and gold; things start to change when on a stormy night he meets Min Yoongi, who makes him reevaluate the truth’s worth.

Tags:  Modern Royalty, Friends With Benefits, Slow Burn, Closeted Character, side namseok, Jeon Jungkook & Kim Seokjin | Jin are Siblings, yoongi doesn’t like rich people, seokjin is nice and doesn’t tell him he is a rich people, Emotional Constipation, Angst, Jung Hoseok | J-Hope & Min Yoongi | Suga are Best Friends, a whole lot of sibling feels, Secret Relationship, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Smoking, References to Depression, i apologize for the lack of oprah in this fic, Coming Out, Angst with a Happy Ending

Eden’s Notes: (will update after i finish last chapter. just had to put it on here because i love it it that much so far.)

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bubblegum by @raplinelover on A03

Pairings: Kim Seokjin x Kim Namjoon x Jeon Jungkook (jung hoseok x kim taehyung & park jimin x min yoongi as a side)

Genre: Soulmate AU / Established Realationship / Polyamory

Chapters: 14

Wordcount: 100,490

Summary: Ice cream is a food reserved only for your 22nd birthday. It’s then that the flavor your taste will determine which soul matches yours. Seokjin tasted bubblegum first. A couple years later it was Namjoon’s turn. As everyone expected, the perfect couple were soulmates.

Then, Jungkook turned 22.

Tags: Jeon Jungkook/Kim Namjoon | RM/Kim Seokjin | JinKim Namjoon | RM/Kim Seokjin | Jin, Jeon Jungkook/Kim Namjoon | RM, Jeon Jungkook/Kim Seokjin | Jin, Jeon Jungkook, Kim Namjoon | RM, Kim Seokjin | Jin, Kim Taehyung | V, Jung Hoseok | J-Hope, Park Jimin (BTS), Min Yoongi | Suga, Park Jisoo | Jihyo, Choi Yeonjun, Son Chaeyoung, Im Nayeon, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, Explicit Language, Polyamory, Getting Together, Slow Burn, In a way, Namjin are already together, exploring relationship, Established Relationship, Developing Relationship, Alcohol, Recreational Drug Use, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorder, Flawed characters, imperfect characters, sex under the influence

Eden’s Notes: This is probably my favorite Soulmate fic i’ve ever read just based on the fact that the world it takes place in is very thought out and realistic for a soulmate au (it just makes sense the way things play out). The writing is quite beautiful and paints a good picture of the anxieties that the characters face when coming in contact with each other and their world in the AU. Highly recommend this fic!

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浮世 U K I Y O by Sharleena

Pairings: Min Yoongi x Park Jimin (kim taehyung x jeon jungkook & kim namjoon x kim seokjin as a side)

Genre: Gang World AU / Urban Fantasy / Angst / Smut

Chapters: 22

Wordcount: 410,772

Summary: 

A story of tender tides and unmoving hummingbirds.

浮世

(WARNING: READ TAGS!)

Tags: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Min Yoongi | Suga/Park Jimin, Min Yoongi | Suga, Park Jimin (BTS), Kim Seokjin | Jin, Kim Namjoon | RM, Kim Taehyung | V, Jeon Jungkook, Jung Hoseok | J-Hope, Drug Lord Yoongi, Succubus Jimin, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Gang World, Alternate Universe - Urban Fantasy, Kinda, It’s just the settings, Alternate Universe - Criminals, Violence, Blood, Disturbing Themes, Slow Burn, Side Relationships - Freeform, Explicit Sexual Content, Explicit Language, Shibari, Brothels, Seelie Taehyung, Banshee Hoseok, Dark, Bottom Park Jimin, Top Min Yoongi | Suga, Light Dom/sub, Self-Lubrication, cameos of other idols, side Taekook - Freeform, side namjin, Scent Marking, Finger Sucking, Past Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Come Eating, Slight Pain Kink, Praise Kink, Cock Slapping, Gunplay, Past Child Abuse, 

Eden’s Notes: okay so as of writing this I haven’t finished it yet but let me just say EVERYBODY and their MOM has told me to read this fic…and rightfully so. Overall it’s really well written and is placed in an elaborate world. It’s quite heavy on angst and smut as well as some violence. If you can stomach that then I definitely recommend this fic to you!

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Like Everything Glows by annie_vi

Pairings: Jeon Jungkook x Park Jimin (side pairings: min yoongi x kim namjoon, kim seokjin x kim taehyung and a small past fling between jeon jungkook x jung hoseok)

Genre: Alternate Universe - Merpeople / Mythical Beings & Creatures / Strangers to Lovers / Slow Burn / Emotional Hurt/Comfort

Chapters: 10

Wordcount: 180,305

Summary: Jeon Jeongguk watches the sun rise and set on the water every day without wondering what may lie far beneath the surface. One nighttime walk along the beach upheaves his entire life, sending his human morals into a tailspin as he questions what his beliefs really are.

Tags: Aquatic Veterinarian Jungkook, Merman Jimin, Alternate Universe - Merpeople, Mythical Beings & Creatures, Strangers to Lovers, Slow Build, INCREDIBLY SLOW BURN, a hell of a lot of world building, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Eventual Smut, Minor Violence, mildly graphic content, Jeon Jungkook is a Sweetheart, Jimin is a curious little thing, side hopekook that’s so soft please trust me, side namgi, side taejin, Mating, Mating Bond, Soul Bond, marine biologist namjoon, Genius Min Yoongi | Suga, Aquarist Hoseok, taejin are mermen, look there’s just a lot of marine aquatic shit going on here, suspend your beliefs for just a moment, this shit is both soft and self indulgent, Jungkook has no idea what to do with Jimin tbh, Jimin just wants to learn about humans, just trust me, Happy Ending Additional Warnings In Author’s Note, Tags Are Fun, bet you didn’t see THAT one coming huh!

Eden’s Notes: The fact that I found this fic through a twitter moot when we were discussing well written fantasy fics or to be crude I guess monster fucking in fics…but don’t let that be a factor in your decision to read this fic because it’s so soft and well written. (There is smut towards the end don’t be confused there was a reason it came up in conversation) I read the whole of this in 3 days before work, on my break, and after work till 2 am. I. COULDN’T. PUT. IT. DOWN. the angst had me in actual tears and the fluffy parts had me rolling around in bed giggling. I love this fic so much!! 

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Double Take by yoongiyoongi

Pairings: Jeon Jungkook x Kim Namjoon (side pairings: I feel like it would be a spoiler so i’ll just let you read and see)

Genre: Strangers to Lovers / Exes to Lovers / Fluff and Smut / Angst / First Time

Chapters: 6

Wordcount: 139,871

Summary: “I think saving your virginity for marriage is stupid,” Namjoon said, almost whining. Jungkook huffed. “Is this always on your mind?” “When I’m with you?” Namjoon asked, equally incredulous, “Yeah. It is. A lot.” “What’s your best-case scenario for this conversation, Namjoon?” Jungkook asked plainly. “Well,” Namjoon thought, “Best-case…you agree that being a virgin is stupid and then we do something about it.” “And if I don’t agree that being a virgin is stupid?” Jungkook inquired. “Then you keep being a stupid virgin,” Namjoon mumbled. “Good chat,” Jungkook told him.

/or/

In a cool, 90s vintage way, Jungkook always thought he’d save his virginity for the person he married. In a normal, 2021 way, Namjoon would rather he didn’t.

Tags: Virgin Jeon Jungkook, Himbo Kim Namjoon | RM, Loss of Virginity, rip massive spoiler, Strangers to Lovers, Fluff and Smut, Sharing a Bed, Blow Jobs, Riding, Rimming, i can’t remember everything they do this fic is so long, they are just incredibly domestic and dramatic, Angst, jungkook has an incompetency kink he just won’t admit it, namjoon has a mild degradation kink except he doesn’t know what that word means, (and jungkook doesn’t wanna tell him), Exes to Lovers, and they were ROOMMATES, Service Top Kim Namjoon | RM, reporting for duty, bratty bottom jeon jungkook (why isn’t this an established tag army yeorobun), Anal Sex, First Time, Roleplay, Infidelity Roleplay (just trust me), Light Bondage, bunny kink alkdjljkds, Found Family, Protective Bangtan Boys | BTS, Happy Ending

Eden’s Notes: A03 really has some of the best writing I have had the pleasure of seeing. This fic is like a whole book/movie series wrapped up into a little ~140k worded package. It was a rollercoaster of both positive warm, cozy, fluffy first love emotion and screaming at your phone because the characters are ambiguous negitive emotion. I almost don’t have the words to describe actually how good it is. You just really need to read it to experience it. 

[kenkamishiro]

Lost in Translation: Choujin X chapter 1

Fun fact, I was planning to do fan translations for Choujin X with a scan group until it could get a simulpub release, though I didn’t expect it to get one from the very first chapter lol. I’m happy though since it means everyone can read it right away and it doesn’t mess up my schedule.

So instead I’ll be making comparison notes between the EN and JP text to supplement the official translation. I’m not doing this because the official TL is bad (I actually think it’s pretty solid and I hope it will maintain this quality) but because it’s inevitable for something to be lost in translation, and it’s nice to have that additional context for theory crafting and whatnot.

If you want to read it on Twitter instead, the original thread is here, but this is the proofread and way more detailed version 😄

This translation isn’t wrong, but there’s an emphasis on それ (which is TLed as ‘it’) that connotes a stronger, “other, that thing” feeling that isn’t present here. The general idea behind this sentence is: That [becoming a Choujin] resembles more of a disease [than a transformation].

Ely talks like a tomboy, she uses rougher speech patterns and the pronoun オラ (ora), a derivative of the masculine 'ore'. But it's a bit old-fashioned (eg. すまなんだ) which makes sense considering her upbringing with her grandfather on a farm. Hence her country bumpkin speech pattern in English.

Not sure if I should use Ellie or Ely? Ellie makes more sense based on the kana, but Ishida explicitly called her Ely so I might stick with Ely for now... (also istg that blond guy with the huge chin is a reference, I've seen him somewhere)

Tokio, I know your teacher is annoying, but it's rude to call her that lol. This is basically the oppai equivalent of paisen (senpai backwards, it’s slangier). Similar thing actually happened with Ely describing her dream hubby as Goldilocks instead of blond; ‘kinpatsu’ (blond hair) was inverted to become ‘patsukin’, hence the translation as Goldilocks.

Kurohara Tokio (黒原トキオ) and Higashi Azuma (東アヅマ). Kurohara is a common surname, means 'black fields'. Tokio is in katakana, so it’s hard to say what kanji it could be. 'Toki' could be 時 (time) or 外喜 (outside + delight). The 'o' can be the common male name suffix 男 (boy).

But when I think of Tokio, I think of TK's song called 'tokio'. You can read the translated lyrics here. If these lyrics end up being relevant to Tokio's character development I will eat my shoe lol.

Higashi means 'east'. Azuma (which can also be romanized as Aduma, it’s a softer ‘zu’ sound which is why Tokio called Azuma ‘Aju’ earlier in the chapter before correcting himself) is an archaic form of ‘east’. So...this guy is literally East East. The Choujin X equivalent of Moon Moon 😂

Someone also informed me that Higashi Azuma is a station in Tokyo, though the kana are slightly different (アヅマ／あづま vs. あずま). They effectively sound the same though nowadays, if I have to be honest. It’s like comparing the difference between 애 and 에 in Korean.

Tbh this is minor, but worth mentioning just cause it changes the meaning a bit. Tokio is saying something more like, “Why are we even talking about this [the roly-polies] again?”

I think I heard people talking about how the official TL doesn’t match the original text, but personally I really like how this was translated! Sis is using the expression  「爪の垢を煎じて飲む」, which literally means “boiling the dirt under someone’s fingernails and drinking it”. By taking the dirt/grime under the fingernails of someone that you admire, and boiling it and drinking it like a tea, you can become more like them.

But because idioms don’t tend to directly translate well between languages, translators often have to adapt it so that the meaning still remains the same. In English the closest idiom we have to this is “rubbing off on someone.” The “holding hands” bit was added to replace the physical aspect of “taking the dirt from someone’s fingernails” and also contribute to Sis’s sassy and very informal way of speaking.

So Sis is saying in JP (ignoring her personal speech style for now):

You should take the dirt from under [Azuma's] fingernails and boil it so you can be more like him.

And now in ENG it becomes:

You guys should hold hands or something, then maybe he’ll rub off on you.

It now sounds natural in English, still carries the same meaning as the original text, and also suits the character’s speech pattern.

Moving on, in that same panel the literal TL of Tokio’s dialogue is, “Policeman Azuma got dispatched again today,” emphasizing Azuma’s heroic deeds along with his family connections to the police. Another thing I want to note is that this is the second time Azuma has been called 偉い (erai) so far - noble, and now great guy. I’ll just dump the general English definition of 偉い from Jisho here so you get the general idea:

Great; excellent; admirable; remarkable; distinguished; important; celebrated; famous; eminent

But you can tell from how people describe Azuma as 偉い that others look up to him, think he’s a great person and Mr. Perfect. Always being placed on a pedestal by others. (What are the odds this will affect his mentality after the Choujin serum?)

The meaning is still pretty much the same, but I’ll offer a slightly different perspective. Sis mentions that if she were Tokio, she’d burst from the [Azuma] complex. (Clearly Tokio and Azuma's relationship is gonna crack at some point)

Tokio mentions an idiom about hawks (taka) before recalling his childhood memory about vultures. Vultures are called 'hagewashi', but in the chapter it mentions they can also be called 'hagetaka' (buzzard/condor, literally bald hawk).

The kids call him names like "Hagetaka Tokio" and "Hageo". But Hagetaka Tokio only really works in JP cause Hagetaka kinda mimics his last name (Buzzard Tokio doesn't give the same vibe). Same with Hageo. Hage-o = Bald-o = Baldy.

I also think Buzzard was chosen over another name for a vulture like Condor because Buzzard can pass off as an insult.

I would have translated this as, “I wanted to be a lion too...” but this is just personal preference.

A continuation of the 「爪の垢を煎じて飲む」 expression Sis used earlier. Without the adapted idiom the exchange goes something like this:

Tokio: My sister said I should bring home the dirt from under your nails. Can I have some?

Azuma: ...huh? What for, that’s scary. No way.

Tokio: I have to boil it and drink it, apparently.

Azuma: Don’t even think about boiling or drinking it.

But since the 「爪の垢を煎じて飲む」 expression was modified to make it sound natural in English, it means this conversation has to be modified too.

JP: My sister said I should bring home the dirt from under your nails. Can I have some?

EN: My sister says we should hold hands...so I can be more like you. What do you think?

The “dirt from under your nails” part got adapted to “holding hands”, hence how the 1st line from Tokio becomes, “My sister says we should hold hands...so I can be more like you.” “Can I have some?” makes no sense now in this context now, so it was changed to “What do you think?” as a question to Azuma to keep the similar conversation flow going.

JP: ...huh? What for, that’s scary. No way.

EN: Huh? What’re you talking about? No thanks.

Azuma’s next line is similar enough to the JP text except for the removal of “scary”. I think the reason it was most likely removed is because leaving it as it is could be constituted as homophobic (2 boys holding hands, absolutely nothing scary about it as bible thumpers would like people to believe).

JP: I have to boil it and drink it, apparently.

EN: She said to hold hands so you’ll rub off on me.

Tokio’s response to that is explaining what he meant by his proposal. In the original text he lays out the latter half of the idiom (he doesn’t even realize it’s an expression, poor boy), and in English he does something similar by going into why his sister said they should hold hands (so Azuma can rub off on Tokio).

JP: Don’t even think about boiling or drinking it.

EN: C’mon. That’s not how things work.

Azuma’s then rebuts Tokio’s proposal as ridiculous. In the original text he drops a typical straight man response (don’t do *insert whatever ridiculous thing the idiot suggested*). But since Tokio’s proposal in English isn’t as preposterous, his rebuttal is toned down in response by telling him not to take it literally.

Ultimately, even though a lot of this dialogue was changed, I still think it was successful in maintaining the original’s intent. Tokio takes his sister’s sarcastic suggestion literally and brings it up to Azuma, who dismisses it as silly. It would be nice if we could keep the expression as it was in Japanese, but in instances like this where it’s played off of in multiple lines, that’s easier said than done.

軟体 isn’t an actual word, it’s made up of the kanji soft + body. So kinda like Elastigirl, but Flexi was chosen instead. It doesn’t sound 100% right, but I don’t think I could come up with anything better.

Replacing the しい in 楽しい with the C plus that elongated pronunciation makes Johnny sound even more like a stereotypical Yankee, which is why he sounds like that in English 😂

Random but I found it interesting how Azuma called Johnny a youkai (妖怪) instead of something like bakemono (化け物) or obake (お化け) since they’re shapeshifting monsters.

Tokio is worried that if he doesn't do something right now, he's going to lose his friendship with Azuma. The sentence is fine as it is though.

Azuma’s line can also be worded as, "No hard feelings, okay?"

Bestial = 獣化 (juuka) = beast+change = beast transformation

That’s it from me, if you have questions about the TL feel free to send an ask or reply to this post, I promise I’ll check my inbox more often this time 😂

[bokutos-eyebrows]

Reactions Pt. 1

Poly TsukkiYama x Reader fic is here ~ For all of us who want to be a throuple with this salty sweet duo. More notes at the end!

Poly Tsukkishima Kei x Fem! Reader x Yamaguchi Tadashi

Word Count: 1,817

Warnings: None yet, but there will be smut eventually

❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀ “Kei, I know about your feelings for Tadashi.”

Tsukishima stiffened at your words. He was too taken aback to hide his shock. 

‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Tsukishima stated blankly, avoiding looking at you. You chuckled slightly, putting a hand on Tsukki’s back. 

“Your reaction just told me everything I need to know.”

Tsukishima did love you. And you knew that. But you couldn’t turn a blind eye to the fact that he and Yamaguchi had a long history together. 

The three of you had met while working at the history museum in your city. Tsukki and Yams had already been working at the museum since high school giving tours of the different exhibits. You worked the check in desk for the tour groups, organizing who took which groups out, and planning out tour schedules. Yamaguchi being the sweetheart he is, was always eager to help you out and show you the ropes of the job, dragging the reluctant Tsukishima with him. 

Tsukki had an obvious soft spot for Yamaguchi. He would go along with whatever Tadashi said, or seek him out for a comforting hug after a long shift. The two boys just seemed to know exactly what the other was thinking. Yamaguchi always stayed by Tsukki’s side as well, going to him out throughout the day to chat, and bringing him snacks. They always seemed to be on their own, separate from everyone else. You had always noticed a tension between them, but you could never quite put your finger on the cause of it. 

As time passed, the three of you became close friends, even hanging out on your days off. You became an addition to their little group, always separated from others. It was like you were all in your own little bubble. Before long you grew to have a deep love for both Tsukishima and Yamaguchi. You thought for sure it was platonic, despite the occasional flirting.

You’d be lying if you said you didn’t catch on to the lingering glances and touches Tsukishima and Yamaguchi shared. You weren’t blind. Sometimes you joked about how the two of them were dating. You were a little jealous of how close they were, not quite sure of which boy you were jealous of. But all thoughts of what could be going on between them were put on pause when Tsukishima asked you out on a date. 

Yamaguchi was supportive, seeing as Kei had never really taken interest in someone before. Tsukki grew to like you quickly because like Yams, you could handle his banter and had jokes of your own. You and Tsukki clicked well, the transition from friends to lovers was almost seamless.  

The three of you still went out often. You loved being around the two boys, and it never felt like anyone was a third wheel. More often than not, your dates with Kei included Tadashi. It just worked when all of you were together. You had fun alone with Tsukki too, nothing ever felt forced, but there was a pestering feeling that something was missing. You could tell that Tsukki felt it too. The two of you were in love, so why?

Then it hit you.

 You were on a coffee run with Yamaguchi, wanting to surprise Kei who was already at work. The two of you had reached out to grab the third drink, your hands collided, fingers slightly intertwining. As you pulled away you noticed a blush creep onto Tadashi’s cheeks. Your heart was racing. You loved Kei, why were you feeling like this? 

The two of you spent the walk to work in an awkward silence, neither wanting to address it. When you arrived, Tadashi called out to Kei. As the tall blonde turned around, you could practically see his heart swell when he looked at the two of you. He tried to hide it but you know him. 

Was he smiling at me? Or Yams? Both of us? Why did Tadashi blush when our hands touched? Why did my heart beat so fast? You pondered.

If you were being completely honest, you had definitely fantasized about a threesome with them before. Who wouldn’t? The three of you had great chemistry. But this was a feeling beyond the simple pleasures of sex.

You glanced over at Kei and Tadashi, watching their facial expressions as they chatted. Thankfully, neither boy had noticed you had zoned out for the last couple minutes. You studied the two boys' interactions. Did they always stand this close together? Were their smiles always this warm when they looked at each other? Suddenly hyper aware of every small interaction between the boys, you snapped back to reality when they both turned to you and asked you something about the conversation you had not been listening to. 

“U-Uh yeah!” You tried to act like you’d been paying attention. Tsukki shot you a look, immediately picking up on your hesitation. You pretended not to notice.

“Aah well it's time for me to go get ready to start the museum tours! I’ll see you guys later!” Yamaguchi pulled you and Tsukki in for a group hug and then ran off to get ready for the work day. 

“It’s almost opening time I should go to the check in desk I nee-”

“Y/n.” Tsukki cut you off.

“Yes?”

Tsukishima grabbed your arm and gave you a knowing look. “You’re spacey today. Is something wrong?”

“No! I’m just a little tired!” You are touched that Tsukki knows you so well he can pick up on your moods, but also caught off guard that he was so direct about it. 

“Okay.Sure.” Tsukishima rolled his eyes, “We’ll talk about it later when we get home.” He kissed your forehead and followed Yamaguchi. 

Shit, he caught on. You wondered if you should bring up the weird tension you’ve been feeling. How would Kei react? How do I feel about Yams? How long has this been going on? You decide nothing good will come of spending the whole day pondering. You just have to face Tsukki when you get home and put an end to the questions that cloud your mind. 

The work day flows normally. You check in the different elementary school classes that are coming in to take tours, get the kids excited to learn and then pass them off to Yamaguchi, Tsukki, or one of your other tour guides. Tsukishima takes a tour right before your lunch break starts and you’re partly sad you’ll be spending lunch alone, but also relieved you won’t be interrogated about your feelings yet.

“Y/n! I brought your favorite!” You look up and see Tadashi placing a pastry and drink on your desk. “Let's go eat outside!” 

Your mind is racing as you find yourself sitting under a large jacaranda tree with Yams as your lunch companion. It wasn’t a rare occurrence, Tsukki couldn’t always take lunch breaks at the same time as you and you and Yamaguchi had been pals since you started working at the museum. But this time felt different. You couldn’t tell if Yamaguchi could feel the shift that started this morning in the coffee shop so you decided to prod him.

“Thank you again for bringing me lunch from the bakery Tadashi,” You smiled and placed a hand on his arm, “I really appreciate you! And I’m glad we could eat together! You leaned on him slightly, as a friendly gesture. As you looked up at him, you could see the faintest pink on his cheeks. 

“I-It’s no problem! You seemed sad earlier and I thought you could use a nice surprise!” Yamaguchi stammered, fiddling with his hair. 

Fuck, you mentally panicked, was he always this cute? You gazed over his freckles that were hiding under the rosy tint of his cheeks. Yamaguchi had always supported you and made sure you were having a good day at work. He had been there for you since you met, he had even introduced you to Tsukki, the man you adored. Your heart started pounding as you thought back on just how much Yamaguchi meant to you.

You loved Tsukishima wholeheartedly. Nothing about that had changed. He was someone you considered a soul mate. But, now you realized the missing link in your relationship was Yamaguchi. You loved him too. You had loved him from the start, never realizing it was more than platonic admiration. And now you had a hunch that he felt the same.

“Hey, the museum is closed tomorrow, did you have any plans for the day?” You asked with newfound boldness. 

“Oh! No I’m free tomorrow.” Yamaguchi’s face lit up.

“Come over tomorrow then, okay?” Tadashi nodded and the two of you walked back to the museum to continue work for the day, making plans for tomorrow.

Tsukishima watched you and his best friend from a window on the second floor. He was annoyed. Not with you, and not with Yams either. Just annoyed. His chest tightened as he watched you both chat so happily. Was he jealous that you were with Yamaguchi? Or jealous that Yamaguchi was with you? Maybe both. He couldn’t tell. Not to mention you’d been acting weird this morning. He clenched his fists and prayed the rest of the shift would go by quickly. 

The walk home with Tsukki was grueling. Neither of you were ready to talk about the lingering issue at hand. Tsukishima lightened the mood by telling you about the chaotic tour group he had, and how multiple children tried to climb up on the displays. You laughed as you imagined your usually composed boyfriend frantically trying to wrangle up rowdy kids. 

“I’d say don’t laugh at me, y/n” Tsukki grabbed your hand, “But I love the sound of your laugh.” He muttered as if he didn’t want you to hear.

“And I love you!” You interlocked your fingers in his. This put him at ease and he hummed happily. Once you made it to your apartment, Tsukki went to take a shower as you cleaned up a bit, wondering when to bring up Yamaguchi. You planned and plotted how to talk to Tsukki, trying to hype yourself up. 

“Hey, I’m thinking of making curry, is that good with you?” Tsukki called from the kitchen. You were sweating bullets, nervous, but ready to just get this over with. It had been on your mind all day, you had a lump in your throat as you headed to the kitchen.

“Hey..” you started. Tsukki looked up at you, sensing your nerves. 

“Kei, I know about your feelings for Tadashi.”

Tsukishima stiffened at your words. He was too taken aback to hide his shock. 

‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Tsukishima stated blankly, avoiding looking at you. You chuckled slightly, putting a hand on Tsukki’s back. 

“Your reaction just told me everything I need to know.”

  ❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀

Notes: I think this will have 3?? parts! With more feelings and smut to come uwu ask box is open if you want to be on the tag list or if you have any suggestions/ideas! Tumblr ate all my old asks so its currently empty :/

[mythical-song-wolf]

Reminder to any newbies on Ao3!

Rating - Is basically the rough ‘age’ rating for that fic. Sort of like how certain TV shows are rated to be watched by a certain age group and above

M is for adults and probably has a lot of more serious things explored in it T is for teens and up, probably briefly exploring the same topics as M but at a lower scale General Audience speaks for itself. Explicit is for nsfw fics, not just porn but heavily graphic versions of the Mature label

Note: If a fic is not rated then it will auto set as if it’s M or E rated to be safe

Archive Warnings - The big Warning! Sign on the fic for things that are important

Fucking. Use these. Because these are the big TW! Sign on the fic to let people know and for them not to get shocked when it appears.

But if you don’t want to spoil your fic there’s the option to not archive those warnings. But do add those warnings in the chapter they happen in in the notes (in bolded font to catch the reader’s eye)

Due note the things that are part of the warnings are also additional tags as well

Categories - Types of Relationships In Story

F/F - Romantic or sexual between two women M/M - Romantic or sexual between two men F/M - Romantic or sexual between a man and woman Multi - Romantic or sexual between multiple partners or it has a mix of the first three Gen - FRIENDSHIPS, FOUND FAMILY, FAMILY, ETC! PLATONIC RELATIONSHIPS HERE! Basically no romantic or sexual relationships or it’s there but not the main enough focus for it to really matter Other - Literally just Other I guess

Also you can stack these tags atop each other so you can have it be tagged F/F, M/M, F/M, and Multi because oh its a soulmate AU fic that has them be in a poly relationship

Relationships - Basically what relationships (platonic and romantic) are in the story

First off, if it has an & Symbol between their names is platonic.

If it’s a / symbol its romantic or sexual.

Example: Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers = Romantic or sexual relationship Peggy Carter & Steve Rogers = Platonic relationship

I have seen,,,, too many fics made my youngling authors recently that mistag relationships,,,, pls read the info on the tagging since its RIGHT THERE but that’s why im also making a list on it and because im bored

wafdweasfds

Characters - Who’s in this?

Tag only the ones that actually appear and are relatively/heavily there for it. If someone appears for a bit or is mention just put them being mentioned in the additional tags.

For longer fics it’ll be hard to pin down, especially if you have a large cast of characters that have varying levels of importance. At that point you just hope and pray to whatever god you do or dont believe in that you tagged correctly

Additional Tags - Extra bits, ‘genre’, and things to expect without spoiling much

If you’re familiar with reading on ao3 you should know how this works, but since this list was made for the younglings on the site. It’s basically additional information. It’s more specific tags on what’s going to be in the fic

It can specify what Alternate Universe it’s in if it is at all, if it’ll have Soft Moments (Fluff tag) or if it’ll have pain and not joy (Angst with not Happy Ending, Hurt No Comfort), it also roughly specifies certain character details (such as Parental X Character, Protective X character)

[It’s also where the smut writers include (or at least should) what kinky shit is featured in the fic]

It’s also the rough open space authors type in to make unofficial tags that are the equivalent of reblogging something on tumblr with a reply you hide in the tags.

Final Info Bits

Remember to make sure your fic is set as Multichapter if you’re going to make it multichapter! So the reader knows if they’ll get more and bookmark that fic to see if it’s updated!

If you’re fic was inspired by someone else’s: 1. Make sure to get permission 2. Make sure to include it in the thing that it was inspired by X, I don’t mean in the notes or the summary but in the actual thing They ask “This work is a remix, a translation, a podfic, or was inspired by another work” Check that fucking box if it is and then follow the instructions So that if someone likes that original fic they can find yours to get another spin on it (Also maybe put it in the summary depending on how similar you make it from that fic shudders are the too many damn comments on my first fic)

This Work is Part of a Series

It’s like a book series in a sense, where this one fic tells one story, but the next fic in the series is set in a similar setting or has a similar theme to it Ex: A oneshot made for an event is part of a series of fics for said event so you can/should make it a series A fic about Person A & B getting together can have a sequel set in the same universe but now its Person A & B navigating married life or smth A oneshot made over a personally chosen theme like “the baking endeavors of Person A” or “Self Indulgent”

[betweenthetimeandsound]

Three Minutes to Eternity: My ESC 250 (#160-151)

(Author's note: Sorry about it being a couple of days late--I wanted to rest a bit--which I will do again because we hit the top 150--and had to download quite a bit for the gifs. Please enjoy this bunch, though!)

#160: Dihaj -- Skeletons (Azerbaijan 2017)

“When we hook up it’s fantasy We’re just like alchemy I’ve never been so ready”

I completely neglected Skeletons during the contest, as I didn't listen to it beforehand and didn't watch songs 12-17 when watching the grand final live. Along with "Grab the Moment" that year, it sandwiched a horrendous stretch of songs in #13-16.

Despite this, I listened to it a lot afterwards. It’s equal parts intriguing and mysterious, especially with the almost-nonsensical lyrics with interesting images. I always imagined a concept film in which the main character meets a potential love interest in a night club, only to go too far and almost kill him.

The atmosphere the staging created was a bit strange, in that it incorporates masks and a world inside a school chalkboard. For each of these aspects, Skeletons is my favorite Azeri entry ever—it stands out in a unique way because of its eccentricity.

Personal ranking: 5th/42 Actual ranking: 14th/26 GF in Kyiv

#159: Tommy Seebach -- Disco Tango (Denmark 1979)

“Hun er en stjerne på et dansegulv Slår John Travolta i en rock ‘n’ roll På diskoteket ta’r hun kegler, og der ka’ man se Dem stå i kø og skæve, hver gang hun gør sin entré”

“She’s a star on a dance floor Beats John Travolta in a rock ‘n’ roll At the disco she’s scoring, and there you see Them queue up with an eye on her, every time she enters”

Disco and tango are two genres you don’t expect to work together, despite them being so fun to dance to. Despite this, Tommy Seebach makes it sound natural. There’s a bit of adjustment needed when listening to it, but it’s equally flirty and groovy all at once, as one gets to know the many quirks of the song.

The live performance definitely elevates it--not only with Debbie Cameron's enthusiasm (she would come back two years later with Tommy in a bigger part), but also because of the orchestration. The mix with strings and castanets in the chorus was definitely the best part and gets me shaking.

It’s different for Denmark, but definitely a song you should put in a disco (*clap clap*) from time to time!

Personal ranking: 3rd/19 Actual ranking: 6th/19 in Jerusalem

#158: Poli Genova -- If Love (Were) a Crime (Bulgaria 2016)

“Unafraid, never fade When it’s dark we illuminate”

Bulgaria’s comeback after a two-year hiatus sees them with a hyper energetic pop song with an uplifting message. While it seems like a simple one at first, the diverse Eurovision community can embrace it for its openness and determination. The great production upholds this gem, and the lighting on stage adds to it, especially in the end.

Poli definitely makes this song come to life with her vocals and her upbeat personality, making it shine even more! (And I did like her costume--not something for everyday-wear, but definitely one fitting the song and a bit avant--garde too). Compared to her first entry, which fights against those who put her down in a pop-rock way, she delivers with fun.

And they got their first qualification in nine years and a start to a nice run of entries as a result.

Personal ranking: 5th/42 Actual ranking: 4th/42 GF in Stockholm

#157: Athena -- For Real (Turkey 2004)

“All I know is you don’t want to be part of the crowd Realise yourself You say it but don’t feel it, what you sayin’ has no meanin’ Don’t hide your soul”

For their host entry, Turkey brings upon Athena, a ska-punk (and former metalcore) band with this bouncy song. And it’s such a great one—filled with energy and fun. A bit different from what we expect from Turkey, but it shows what their music industry could bring.

It's lively and fun, with Gokhan leading the charge with his presence. At times, he shouts more than he sings and it seems like he didn't dress up for a more formal event. That said, there's still a lot of charm in "For Real's" performance, ranging from the sharks in the background to the "Hi mom!" and the peace jacket. It comes along in an eccentric package, and makes for a solid predecessor to their rock-based entries four years later.

And it definitely hints at being oneself, which celebrates individuality in a fun way.

(Plus, that's the reason why my top three in 2004 isn't the actual top three. Haha)

Personal ranking: 3rd/36 Actual ranking: 4th/24 in Istanbul

#156: Katarína Hasprová - Modlitba (Slovakia 1998)

“Láska kráčam údolím sĺz A len ty môžeš zmierniť môj žiaľ Túžim sa dotknúť tvojich pier, tvojich rúk Prosím vráť sa mi, nevzdaj sa nás”

“Love, I am walking the valley of tears Only you can get me out of misery I long to touch your hands, your lips Please, come back, do not give up”

A comment on the interwebs suggested anybody who has Horehronie as their favorite Slovak entry has never listened to this. I could understand why people would gravitate towards the former, but this stands out more for me (and not just because of the religious title).

The introduction reminds me of “Kiss From a Rose”, which here, is less meant to be about plagiarism and more about the 1990s feel of it. Musically, it takes the same medieval elements from other 1990s entries, but it tells a different story, one about trying to fix a relationship on the rocks. It builds well, going from an otherwise delicate ballad to something more explosive when one gets into the chorus. The orchestration really helps it too!

Modlitba got six points from Croatia...and then nothing else. It's still a shame it did so poorly, but as a potential nul-pointer too? Sad.

Personal ranking: 4th/25 Actual ranking: 21st/25 in Birmingham

#155: Melovin -- Under the Ladder (Ukraine 2018)

“Nothing but your will sets you on fire Fire lasts forever...”

The song that inspired a fervor from Melovin’s fans, including me! While I’m not as enthusiastic as them, I still love this song—it's pulsating and intense, with quite interesting lyrics about getting up again(with some enunciation issues). There was a point where the song got a musical revamp, and I feared it would make the song worse, but fortunately it kept the whole thing intact with a few production changes.

Melovin proves he's a talented showman, and seeing the stairs go aflame made me smile (even though I preferred the effect more on his Vidbir performance; the flaming LEDs really helped there). Good thing the televote swooped in, because last place in the jury vote feels really wrong (though it could be because of said pronunciation).

Plus he has some good post-Eurovision songs—check them out! My favorite is З тобою, зі мною, і годі.

Personal ranking: 6th/43 Actual ranking: 17th/26 GF in Lisbon

#154: Joci Papai -- Origo (Hungary 2017)

“Be kell csuknod a szemed Úgy láthatsz meg engemet Hogy meghódítsd a szívem Ismerned kell lelkemet”

“You need to close your eyes So you can see me To conquer my heart You have to know my soul”

While Az en apam (#240) touches me more than Origo, one can’t deny this is the more creative song. It combines not only Romani influences, but also a dark pop foreground which allows them to shine.

In addition, the lyrics are absolutely masterful—they are rooted in Joci’s story and packs a punch in the message. It's tells of a relationship with someone who doesn't accept him for who he is (cursing her forever as a result), along with how Joci grew up and used music as a weapon for himself and his people. He's a compelling storyteller, and you can tell he sings it from the soul.

Combined with a compelling rap and a neat violin instrumental, you get a completely unique experience.

Personal ranking: 4th/42 Actual ranking: 8th/26 GF in Kyiv

#153: Blanche -- City Lights (Belgium 2017)

“All alone in the danger zone Are you ready to take my hand?”

Blanche had quite the journey in Eurovision--first her song gets released, and immediately becomes a contender. Then she has problems performing in shows and during rehearsals, at which the odds star dropping like flies. Then her semi-final performance was notably wobbly, but she still qualifies and places fourth.

Despite the staging errors (I would've personally have made the lighting gold rather than natural-colored), it was fully deserved and I think it was better than the eventual top three.

The vibe of this song reminds me of walking down the streets of Tokyo, because of the visuals involved. Everything is in a rush, but one's not sure There’s also tension, because of the dark electronic sound that dominates it. Despite Blanche’s nervousness on stage, it worked well with the song—it amplified the sensation of walking down a wire and wondering if the relationship will work. A startling entry from Belgium and one that really strikes at modernity.

Personal ranking: 3rd/42 Actual ranking: 4th/26 GF in Kyiv

#152: Frances Ruffelle -- We Will Be Free (Lonely Symphony) (United Kingdom 1994)

“Welcome to the land Where all our dreams are planned And fighting is a thing to do...”

The first of the UK’s attempts to modernize the contest in the 1990s, it’s a cool, funky song with interestingly-written lyrics. Someone compared the chorus to a protest slogan for social justice movement, but the rest of the song discusses a complex relationship. The opening lines are a highlight in particular, and everything flows fantastically.

A few bits of the live-performance went out of hand, like with the orchestration and Frances’ vocals, explained by how she was bopping up and down and was told that she needed to keep that down. As a result, she couldn't focus on her vocals and they turned out a bit sharp at times.

That said, she had a pretty dress and charming look about her. And while it placed in the top ten, I think it should've done better.

Personal ranking: 4th/25 Actual ranking: 10th/25 in Dublin

#151: Sebalter -- Hunter of Stars (Switzerland 2014)

"I state my heart has been well trained I’m gonna be your candidate I am the hunter and you are the prey Tonight I’m gonna eat you up"

This word-salad of a song makes it quite hard to choose a good lyric, as it has a bunch of nice lines but almost no meaning to them. Reading them again, it seems like one is trying to get his affections to like him, to no avail, unfortunately.

But beyond that, we get a fun and wholesome song, which features a prominent banjo and even a violin solo! From the opening melody I can't help but smile, or even whistle along at points (everytime the latter synchronizes, I feel a bit of accomplishment). It's a bit more folksy than what the contest oriented on the time (slickly produced pop with a bit of dubstep), which makes it even more special.

Finally, we have Sebalter himself, who really carries his own song! Not only is he quite good-looking, but also very charismatic and knows how to have a good time. While Swiss entries have become better known since then, you can't replicate Hunter of Stars; it's too special!

Personal ranking: 5th/37 Actual ranking: 13th/26 GF in Copenhagen

[cantgetoutofmyheda]

I love affair au but can you write a cute small town au. Best friends to lovers in the big city.

“Clarke, wake up,” Lexa shouted through the door leading to the blonde’s room, “I can’t find my neck pillow!”

“Ugh,” the blonde murmured from the nest of blankets she had burrowed herself into, “I’m sleeping, Lexa.”

The brunette took Clarke’s reply as a cue to open the door, “Have you seen it anywhere?”

“Lex!” Clarke huffed as she put a pillow over her head to block out the sound of her best friend’s voice.

Lexa pulled her lips into a smirk before plunging herself atop the blonde’s body, “Morning, Clarke.”

Clarke begrudgingly removed the pillow covering her face, “Why must you do this to me?”

Lexa stayed in her position, knowing Clarke wasn’t awake enough to have the strength to push her off, “Because it’s nearly 10am and there’s no reason for you to still be asleep. And because my flight is in two hours and can’t find my neck pillow and something tells me you’ve hidden it from me.”

“Well,” Clarke rubbed her sleepy eyes as she sat up, “maybe if you weren’t traveling so much, I wouldn’t have to start hiding things from you.”

Lexa rolled her eyes, “You hiding my things isn’t going to stop work from making me travel.”

“What if next time I hid your passport?” Clarke raised a brow.

Lexa snorted, “Then I’d tell you to have fun explaining that to Titus.”

It wasn’t that the blonde’s actions we’re just, but Lexa understood where she was coming from. After all, it had been Lexa’s idea that the pair moved from their small and quaint hometown to Polis. Lexa had a great job opportunity waiting and knew that Clarke would be able to still do her freelance graphic design work from wherever she pleased; she also knew a bigger city meant a better chance at getting more clients.

The thing is, Lexa and Clarke had been inseparable their entire lives. They grew up down the street from each other, they started daycare together, they went through middle school and high school together, they even roomed together in college. Unknowingly, they had become an extension of one another.

“It’s not fair,” Clarke let out, to which Lexa raised a questioning brow.

“What isn’t fair?”

At this point, Clarke was fully sitting up. Lexa had finally gotten off the top of her and was seated by her side. The blonde leaned her head on her best friend’s shoulder, “You made me move here with you, but you’re never actually here.”

“Clarke-”

Clarke shook her head as she cut the girl off, “No, it’s true. This was your idea and now it feels like I’m just stuck here while you’re off traveling the world. I only see you a few times a month now, Lex, and when I do, you’re running around the apartment like a crazy person, unpacking and repacking your suitcase for your next trip.”

Lexa closed her eyes in thought, “I know.”

“At this rate, we might as well get a one bedroom to save on rent since you’re never here,” Clarke let out.

“That’s not fair, Clarke.”

“It’s not fair that this was your idea and now I’m just stuck here.”

“After this trip, I don’t have to go anywhere for another three weeks,” Lexa offered, “Maybe I can take a few days off and we can go somewhere for a long weekend.”

Clarke shook her head, “The last time you said that, they put you on a last minute flight to London and we had to cancel our Airbnb. I’d rather not chance that again.”

Defeated, Lexa grounded her feet to the cold wooden floors to start her exit back to her own bedroom, “I’m sorry, Clarke. I’ll be better, I promise.”

“Lex,” Clarke called after the girl, “I’m proud of you. You worked so hard to get this job and I know all the travel is because you’re doing an amazing job. I just miss you. I miss you a lot.”

“Me too,” the brunette sighed as she leaned against the door frame.

Clarke clicked her tongue, “I hid it under the couch cushion. Have a safe trip, Lex.”

Lexa nodded as she gave the blonde a somber smile, “I’ll be home soon.”

--

Lexa looked down at her phone, her text to Clarke from the day prior saying she had landed safely was still unanswered.

“For someone who just sold in a solid plan, you don’t look so happy,” Lincoln said as he put their drinks down and reclaimed his seat at the table.

“Thanks, Linc,” she nodded her drink at her coworker before taking a sip, “I’m fine. Just some other things going on.”

The man nodded, “Anything you want to talk about?”

“I don’t know. Clarke’s just annoyed with me because I’ve been gone so much, I don’t know what to do to make it better.”

“For two people who are just friends, you definitely have the problems of people that are in an actual relationship,” he laughed.

Lexa clenched her jaw as she stared at him.

“Sorry, not funny,” he conceded, “But did you ever stop to think about why she’s actually upset? Maybe she has feelings for you.”

“There’s no way,” Lexa rolled her eyes, “we’re best friends.”

Lincoln nodded, “Listen, I don’t want to meddle here, so I’m just going to give you my two cents and then we can move on, okay?” He waited for her to nod before he continued, “ Think about what’s most important to you and prioritize that. If it’s work, talk to Clarke to manage her expectations. If it’s Clarke’s feelings and your guys’ friendship, or whatever this is, all you have to do is tell Titus that the travel has been too much for you and that you need to cut it down a little so you can better balance your work and personal life. You just need to decide which one takes precedence.”

“Right,” Lexa sighed, “that’s the hard part.”

Lincoln raised a brow, “Choosing?”

“No,” she exhaled, “coming to terms with my choice.”

The man smiled, “I see.”

Lexa gulped the rest of her whiskey down and stared into the bottom of the glass, “I think I need another drink.”

---

It was a handy trick, she had to admit that. Taking a photo of her room number whenever she checked into a hotel had become an instinctual thing for Lexa. With the amount of traveling she did, and after confusing room numbers on her first few trips, it had become second nature to her.

She pulled out her phone in the elevator to double check that she was going to the correct floor when she realized she had a notification for an unread text.

The first thing that popped into her mind: Clarke.

The actuality of the situation: Titus.

He wrote to her asking if she could extend her trip by an additional day and instead of returning home after these string of meetings, fly direct to the Dallas office for three days.

“Fuck.”

The moment Lexa got into her room, she stripped down to ready herself for bed and took her phone back out. She drafted a response to Titus, edited it three times, and finally sent it. She toggled to her unanswered text to Clarke who she now had to write a message to: I’m sorry, I miss you and wish that I was home.

---

The flight back to Polis had Lexa in a bundle of nerves. It was comical that she had to travel as much as she did because she really did hate airplanes. She still hadn’t heard from Clarke. The cab ride to their apartment was no better, she was playing every possible scenario in her mind of how the conversation was going to go. She had zoned so far out that the cab driver had to call out to her three times that they had arrived at her destination.

It was noon on a Thursday, Clarke should be home—likely set up at the coffee table in the living room working on whatever project she had assigned to her this week. As she turned the key through the lock and slowly pushed the door open, in anticipation to meet eyes with the person that had been ignoring her, all she found was an empty apartment.

Lexa sighed as she looked around: no Clarke and no sign that Clarke had been working from the apartment that morning. She went straight to her room, leaving her suitcase in the corner—she would deal with that later. She found a pen and paper, wanting to write Clarke a note, when she realized her closet door was open. She walked over and saw that a few things had been moved, likely from her rushed packing job, closed it, and headed to the blonde’s room to drop the piece of paper off.

When she opened the door, she was caught off guard by the sight before her. Clarke seemed to still be asleep, but peeking out between her messy golden hair, sheets, and blankets, was Lexa’s childhood stuffed raccoon: a stuffed animal that had acted like a security blanket for the brunette throughout the years.

The scene in front of her tugged at her heart in a way she didn’t know was possible, a way she couldn’t even describe. She took one more look at Clarke before climbing next to her in bed and draping her arm around the blonde’s waist.

Clarke stirred and immediately turned around when she realized someone was laying next to her, “Lex?”

Lexa suddenly lost her words, “Hi.”

“You’re home? You weren’t supposed to come back until tomorrow,” the blonde pointed out.

Lexa sighed, “Actually, last night, Titus asked if I could stay until Saturday and then go directly to Dallas for a few days.”

Clare furrowed her brow, “But you’re home?”

“I am,” Lexa nodded, “I told him I had some things to take care of, Linc is covering the rest of the meetings for me and doing the Dallas trip.”

“Why?”

“You are the most important person in my life and I never wanted you to feel like I was abandoning you. I know it was my idea to come here and that I had to talk you into it,” Lexa sighed, “You were right with what you said before I left. It’s not fair that I did this to you. I needed to apologize to your face and it couldn’t wait until after Dallas.”

Clarke’s brow was still furrowed, “You cancelled two work trips to tell me all this, Lex?”

“I told you, it couldn’t wait. You weren’t talking to me, Clarke,” Lexa started, tears starting to well in her eyes, “We’ve never not talked before, you’ve never ignored me before. It made me realize some things.”

Clarke’s eyes met Lexa’s, “Like what?”

“That I missed you, that I never want you to feel that way again, that I love you.”

The blonde nodded, “I love you too, Lex-”

“No,” Lexa cut her off, “I don’t think you get it. I love you, Clarke. This fight? Realizing how I was making you feel? It brought perspective to things. I love you, I am in love with you.”

As Lexa made her proclamation, her eyes immediately darted away from Clarke’s, utterly afraid of how the blonde would take it.

In the silence of the moment, she felt arms snake around her side, pulling her closer towards the blonde and the stuffed raccoon.

“Me too,” Clarke whispered, “I’m in love with you, too.”